Do Go On - 410 - The Exploding Whale of Florence Oregon (with NICK MASON)

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

On the 9th of November, 1970, a 45-foot sperm whale carcass washed up on the shore of Florence, Oregon. The way they decided to dispose of it has become a thing of legend. The Weekly Planet's Nick Mason joins us for this wild ride!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07:50 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.ohs.org/blog/beached-whale-blow-up.cfmhttps://allthatsinteresting.com/exploding-whalehttps://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/11/13/oregon-whale-explosion-anniversary/https://www.theexplodingwhale.com/evidence/resources/transcripthttps://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-17285112https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-01-12/wa-leads-way-using-explosives-to-euthanase-sick-beached-whales/7081946 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of To Go On. My name is Jess Perkins. And as always, I'm joined by Matt Stewart. Hey, Jess.

That's very good. You sounded just like Dave. You said you can't remember what he says. I couldn't. Well, I couldn't. And I'm sorry if that's a problem. It is. Because Dave is gallivanting.

He's swimming with pigs, you were just telling me. Yeah, he's overseas. He's having a wonderful... Which I think it's a rude way to... describe Americans, but... No, we swim with literal pigs. I believe so. He's having...

He's on a jaunt. He's on a well-earned holiday. And so we... I mean, what's well-earned? I'm just saying so that... I'm saying he's earned it. Okay. So that next time I want to go on a holiday.

Well, you are here earning it. Would you look at that... Yeah, he was here... When was his last holiday? And we're joined by the fifth beetle of the podcast, one of our all-time favorite guests and the internet's... all-time favorite person. Nick Mason.

Swimming with pigs. That's a rude way to talk about Americans. Now, Matt, if you can edit out yours, and it'll sound like I came up with that. We can make that happen for sure. Okay, because if not, I'm leaving right now. All right. No, well, I'll agree to that. If you can also edit out this bit where I'm being really, really rude for no reason, if you can edit out, so it seems like I'm nice. Yeah, if I remember. Or I'm leaving. You said you fired.

Okay. If I remember. Okay. I will do that, for sure. Anyway, it's great to be here. Love, love being with the do-go on. grew. Now, it's, this must be like the 10th time we've been on or something. Maybe, who knows? It's been a few times. Elvis. Okay. Maybe. Mothman. Elvis has never been on this podcast. Vegemite. Yep, sure. All those ones I did. Yeah. Oh, yes. Marvel characters, Marvel Universe.

Yeah. Superman. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ninja turtles. Ninja turtles. I was, I was moving my fingers, but not in a way that helped to count. Good. So somebody at home could be counting. but yeah a pleasure to have you back it's great to be here and we haven't even asked you to like do any of the thinking the writing the work of that you just get to sit back and have some fun oh my god which is nice

just do my little riffs you can do your little riffs you can just fun at the things you say oh it'll be absolutely divine you say something that I make a little joke and then it's pointed out that the thing you're about to say is really tragic and I'm like oh I feel bad feel bad now what I've said the lost city of Atlantis

that's right it's another one Matt's always a few minutes behind I feel we've reached a point I feel like we've reached a point in society where we don't need to count anything anymore. Yeah. I'm just too tired to count anything at this point, you know? Yeah.

Nothing matters. Nothing matters. Nothing matters. Nothing matters. Podcasting least of all, as we know. Agreed. Can I explain? Can I explain?

Can I explain how the show works? I'd love to hear Mesa, explain how the show works. Oh, okay, sure. Mesa, if you didn't mind. Okay. Okay, we come in the room. Yes. We're in the room.

Yep. A little red light goes on. That's fun. That's fun and new. Yep. And then someone writes it. essay on a topic and then they read it out. Yep.

And then we wreck them. Yeah. We say what you said is stupid. Yeah. And you said it in a stupid way. Because you're stupid. Because you're stupid. Yeah.

Yeah. And people like that. And I think that's great. People love it. That's the most succinct way I've heard it described. Well done. Sometimes you're going to have an outside perspective. That's true.

And we always start with a question. I'm doing the report this week. And I actually put five topics up and said, I think Mesa will be filling in for Dave on this episode, so keep that in mind. Which episode, which topic do you think Mesao would enjoy? Oh, yeah, okay. Here's my question. What animal is described by the Miriam Webster Dictionary?

I'm just getting an early pig. Okay, you'll lock, yeah. That's foreshadowing from earlier because you said the thing. So thematically, this would be very appropriate if this was true. Yeah. Any of various very large aquatic marine mammals that have a torpedo-shaped body with a thick, layer of blubber, paddle-shaped four limbs, but no hind limbs, are horizontally flattened tail, and nostrils that open externally at the top of the head.

Holy shit, I've done it. Pigs in the water. Pigs in the water. Pigs in the water. It's wet. It's sea pigs. Sea pigs. What, yeah, but what's the, what's a sea pigs more common name? Whales. Yeah. Yeah, everybody, but yeah, we all call it. I know the Latin name or whatever it is, but everybody calls them sea pigs. And that led to the development of the torpedo Because before that, people were like,

What's this shape like? Yeah. I don't know. I don't get it. Yeah. Could be anything. So, are you doing a report on whales? Sort of.

Cool. Interesting. Sort of. Are you doing Free Willy? Sort of. Okay. Not a whale, but it's a shark. Free willy?

Was free willy a shark? Wasn't it? No. I don't think so. It's an orca. Okay. It's a killer whale. Wow.

Oh, yeah. Is this report on free Willie? Because we're in a lot of trouble. If this is on free willy. Yeah, that's a weird misremembered. Why do you think a little boy would befriend a shark? Instead, a really deadly whale. Okay.

Well, that's probably why. It was probably the deadliness of the whale. Well, I don't think free willy was. And for ages, I was like, I love orkers. And but then you hear about them and they're, they'll fuck you up. But now they're back, they're back in the news because they're wrecking ships and stuff, right? Is that the orkers? Yeah.

Oh. I think so, yeah. I think they're the wailiest whale. I don't think that's true I think like But I think they're like The most visually appealing whales Like when they jump out of the water and stuff

You're like whoa You know they look cool But some of the really big fucking weird looking whales You're like Oh keep it in the water Ironos And they come out like

You're too big And it's creepy Just give me a killer whale Go whee Yeah Your idea of the whale Is something that you like to look at Yeah

It's something that looks Like a cartoon And it's already like It's got a bit of the dolphin shape to it. They are so cool looking. Yeah. Just Jess's unrealistic expectations for whales in modern society, you know?

Nothing's good enough, is it? I'm part of the problem. Yeah. If you're not an orky, you're not a real whale to me. If you're not an orky, you can get out the bloody dorker as far as I'm concerned. What's Moby Dick? What sort of whale we see? White whale, right?

White whale, okay. Yeah. Okay. Is that the biggest one? Spirm whale. Blue whale's the biggest. Big blue. I don't know what Moby Dick actually was, but I do imagine it as a sperm whale.

Okay, all right. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Don't you worry. It was a white sperm whale. You've got to.

No, no fucking shit. No fucking shit. No fucking shit. I reckon Dave told us that on, maybe on this podcast. As if I would have listened to Dave. Did he do an episode about Moby Dick? I don't listen to Dave's. No, that wouldn't be true.

Book Cheap? Maybe a book cheat. Yeah, he would have a movie. I think you did one about the real Moby Dick maybe. Anyway, it doesn't matter. That's what I'm here to talk about. Yeah, I don't remember anything. You've done a podcast on Dix, was that?

Yeah, see, maybe that might have been in. Maybe I'm doing to Dix. Yes. So, this topic has been suggested by Anna Dunn from Salt Lake City in Utah. Jessica Gruber from Kent in W.A., which I don't know if that's Washington or Western Australia. And Claire from Sacramento in California, yay. Awesome. All right, here we go.

But so far, we don't know what this is. Do you want to know what the topic is? I mean, you'll know pretty soon. Okay. In the second paragraph, I'll reveal what it is. I don't know how long a paragraph, sir. Yeah, that's wrong. Mr. Run on sentences over here.

A real stream of consciousness over here. On the 9th of November 1970, a 45 foot sperm whale washed up on the shore of Florence, Oregon. At first, the whale was seen as a fun curiosity to locals who headed down to the beach to have a gander. But over the coming days, the carcass began to decay and the pungent steps became overpowering. Stench, if I said stetch, doesn't matter. A solution had to be found. And after discussing the options, it was decided that the best option was exploding. Yeah, there it is.

I've seen this in the hat. I've never properly read into it at all. But it is what it says on the tin. It really is. And this is what the Dugan Patreon sort Mesa. This is Mesa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And other options were the Transformers franchise.

Oh, yeah, sure. And that's a lotter. That'll be, that'll be a longer podcast. And Ghostbusters. Okay, sure, sure. Those two combined got less votes than the exploding whale. Oh my God. Isn't that fun?

I'm like, I assume it would be probably Transformers or Ghostbusters. They were fourth and fifth most voted for topics. Sometimes I think our patrons are pranking us a little bit. Like sometimes I think they're like, that one sounds fucked. Let's make them do it. And I respect the hell out of that. I also think some of them were probably like, I don't want to. to hear Matt talk about Transformers to Mesa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That will be tedious and embarrassing for all of us. And it'll be making Mesa do a lot of the work. Yeah. Which I like. Yeah, but we not... And then Mesa, what happened would you say in your words? After that.

Transformed into a truck. It's cool as hell. That's what happened to. And then the truck went, oh, good, bye-bye. Yeah. Oh, so cool. This sounds awesome. That is the final seat of Michael Bayes Transformers, the first one.

Yeah. Okay, bye-bye, everyone. Bob, boy, it's my Optimus, bro, bye, bye, bye, bye, but do. So, I didn't know anything about Florence Oregon. Familiar with the place? No, it sounds landlocked. If I had to, if you, if you said, what's the deal with Florence, Oregon? I'd be like, sounds landlocked.

Yeah. Well, you couldn't be any further from the truth. Yeah. It is water locked. It's waterlogged. Waterlogged. No, it's water. It's on the beach.

It's on the beach. It's nice. According to the region's website, Florence is Oregon's coastal playground with its rolling sand dunes, miles of beaches, charming, historic old town and delicious seafood. Just an hour west of Eugene, which is one of my favorite. That's a good one. Named places. This is the go-to getaway destinations for locals seeking rest, relaxation and recreation.

It lists its activities like horseback riding on the beach, heading to the casino resort, and visiting North America's largest sea cave. Cave sounds very impressive. I was just going to say that it just sounds like a tampon commercial. Just riding your horses on the beach and going to the casino. scene. I thought you were talking about the largest sea cave. So that's...

Grow up, Matt. What? I just, that's, I mean, that's the last thing I said before you... Anyway, the cave does sound very impressive, much like on a tampon commercial. Commotion? Oh no. Panpont commercial. This is very early, page one, oh no.

The cave's website says, you take an elevator ride 200 feet down, which is 61. 51 metres Nope Into a cave Which is as tall As a 12-storey building And as wide as a football field During the fall

And come on Jesse You can toss the pig skin You know Now we're talking That's right Anything pig related During the fall and winter Barking sea lions

Lounge around Inside the cave's natural amphitheater Oh the pigs of the sea That's right Yeah Which are also whales They're all whales Everything's an

Every animal's a pig If something During the summer months, these sea pigs sprawl along outside rock ledges, believed to be America's largest sea cave and the only known mainland home of wild sea lions in the world. Don't worry, they've built a gift and snack shop there. Of course I have. Of course they have. And no thank you.

So initially I was very conflicted there because like you, Jess, I'm like, oh, elevated down to a cave of death of some sort. Fuck, no. No, thank you. But then I'm like, sea lions. But then I'm like, well, if it floods, they can. just escape. Yeah.

And I'm doomed. Yeah. But then gift shop, you can get a t-shirt. You can get a mentor on the way. You can get a magnet. You get one of those hats and it's got the sea lion hands on it and you pull the string and it goes, earth, earth. Okay.

That's worth. You could get maybe a branded oxygen tank. Oh, yes, please. That'd be clever to do that. That's like music festival selling ponchos. They know they've got you. Yeah. They're praying for rain.

Yeah, yeah. I think more and more, but especially just hearing that, I think I hate caves. I don't think I want to go anywhere fucking near a cave including Nick No Any I can't think of another kind of cave

McClose cave Normal cave Man caves No I'm not welcoming to man cave No chicks allowed Sorry Come on man Don't make Mesa tap the sign

You know the rules So it sounds like it's a beautiful Spot But despite all this More than 50 years later Florence Oregon is still best known for the whale explosion. One of the main reasons this story has become a legend is because a local news team was on the spot to capture the events.

So you can watch, there's video footage of it. Oh, thank goodness. You'd tip them off that, wouldn't you? If you were in the civics or whatever, you'd be like, guys, we're going to blow up this way. You want to get a camera down here. We're about to blow up a whale. This place does look quite pretty.

I've just looked up Florence, Oregon. It looks gorgeous. Isn't it funny? It's not at all. It's so funny. it's been overpowered, its image has been overpowered by a stinking whale. It's got like this lovely, it's like beautiful breed. It looks really idyllic.

It looks gorgeous, which is not what I was expecting. Okay. According to Matthew Cohen writing for the Oregon Historical Society, which has got a few pages dedicated to this event. Their motto, we've got other stuff besides this, like whale, all right? I swear. God. Cohen writes, on the morning of November the 12th, 1970, K.A.

New York T-U news directors asked reporter Paul Linman and cameraman Doug Brazil to cover an unusual story taking place on the Oregon coast. Doug Brazil? Is he a porn star on weekends? Yeah, he turns the camera around at him on the weekend. Doug Brazil. That's amazing. Ironically, got a big bush. Brazilian, got it.

The Oregon Highway Division was left to come up with a plan on how best to deal with eight tons of rotting whale flesh. I should say if any whale lovers out there, it's pretty full-on stuff. So, I mean, they would have seen it in the title. Do you think any people are listening to this going, whale explosion? Oh, man, yeah, real, the whale explosion. This is going to be so great. Explosion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like the baby boom, but they call it the whale explosion. When the 70s and there's like a heaps of whales all of a sudden, and they were all very happy. Can't wait to hear about these whales procreating. Big wild explosion, if you know what to me. But no, it's not going to be like that. No, it's pretty gross. What caught the attention of the newsroom in Portland, however, was not the whale itself,

but the plan of how to best dispose of the carcass. Dynamite. Linman speaking to the Oregonian in 2004 to promote his then recent book, The Exploding Whale and other remarkable stories from the evening news. I think it was apparently the book. I couldn't find it. You could only buy it physical copy. I'd try to get the audio book, try to get an e-book.

But there was the only copy I found. And it was like hundreds of dollars for a physical copy. And you didn't get it. It was just going to take too long to post over. Otherwise. Otherwise. Obviously. But yeah, I think I read a blurb of it.

It says, and other stories. But I think it's pretty heavily while related. And fair enough. Yeah. It's really bookended this book with them. Anyway, he noted, and we'll talk about him a bit, Linman. He's sort of become the, you know, the face of it all. He said,

exploded whale. Yes. Just a big picture of that. It would have been, but unfortunately, the face is no more. Linman said, we went down there because we thought it was so bizarre. According to his report at the time, it had been so long since a whale had washed up in Lane County, nobody could remember how to get rid of one. In selecting its battle plan, the highway division decided the carcass couldn't be buried

because it might soon be uncovered. It couldn't be cut up and then buried because nobody wanted to cut it up. Why don't we do this? No, we don't want to. Okay. It couldn't be burned. So dynamite it was.

Some 20 cases or half a ton. You'd have to burn it for ages. But why does it have to be... Is this crazy? Could you not chop it up and chuck it back in the sea? Yeah, that's something you could do. Because then, you know, other fish and stuff

could eat it at least. You could just wait. Just wait. Just wait out the stench. Yeah. That's right. Don't go to the beach for a bit. Yeah.

Maybe make that, you know, the centrepiece of your town. Come smelly old dead whale, you know? The smelliest town in the south. I don't know where they are. I think Florence already had stuff going on, but maybe a neighbouring town could have bought the whale carcass to leave on their beach. That's right. They could have dragged it down the highway to their town, just bouncing along the road, you know?

Oh, man. It probably would be pretty gross to have to, like, carve it up. It's a big whale. Yeah. They're not small. Yes. But also, I mean, when you've got the dynamite, everything looks like a whale that could be exploded with dynamite, right? Yeah.

Or some guy's got a, he bought this massive half a ton of dynamite or wherever, and he hasn't been able to use it. And he's like, I'm losing money. I work for the highway division. Yeah, right? We don't have a lot of use for dynamo. Yeah. But we have to buy it because this is America. They make us buy all this dynamite.

If we don't, we lose it in the budget next year. That's exactly right. Yeah. So I've got to use this dynamite. End of June every year. People just buying up on that dynamite. But they couldn't do the thing where you just sort of roll it. You couldn't roll it back into the ocean, this guy?

They couldn't know. I think it was too far gone. The bigger ones are harder to do. But I'm going to talk about other options and how other people around the world have tried to do it as well. You'd be that thing where you try to push it and you just sort of go through it. Yeah. I think that thing. You don't want that.

You don't want that. People stand on them and just are all. of the sudden inside of them. Yeah, right. No good. Now I'm part of the whale. Part of the problem. Sorry to frame

Wales's problem like that because if the whale lovers are still here waiting for me to talk about a different kind of whale explosion. Yeah. But I mean, I can't stress enough. The only explosion this whale is going to do is a dynamite type.

All right, now that they have gone, let's talk about whales fucking. Yeah. So, yeah, it kind of makes it sound like most of the logical options were too much work, so they just went for the easy and fun way of doing it, which I like, anyway. I had 100% would be pretty fun to blow up this whale.

If someone suggests that, it would be hard to be like, nah, let's spend way too much time hand chopping it up. Hey, what if we fired machine guns at it? Maybe, maybe decided to go back in the water on its own. I bought a bazooker online. Could I have a go of that first? And I should stress it is dead already. Yeah.

It's not still. Should we get the dynamite dragon or? Could we build an axe throwing facility slash bar around the whale? And it could be beachfront axe throwing and you can have a drink and you can throw axes at a while. You could do that. It's pet friendly. Craft beer on tap. Live music on Thursdays.

And the aforementioned you throw an axe at a while. You can try that. That's always on. That's always on. Kitchen closes from five to seven, but axe throwing is still available. They do stuff like, there's apparently places outside of Vegas where you can go and shoot bazookas at cars and animal carcasses and stuff. What a world. Also, they don't ever allow it in Vegas.

It's too weird. They have to be like, yeah, outside. Too weird for Vegas. So anyway, all these options. they went with the exploding one. Some think they've just come for the easy one. Not necessarily the case. Even now, you know, 50 odd years later,

there's no consensus on the best way to deal with a big beached whale carcass. Most options have their drawbacks. One option is dragging them back out to sea like Mesa was suggesting. Sometimes they can even be intercepted by authorities before they wash ashore. Want to get arrested. Which is the ideal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they sort of deal with them like Australia deals with asylum seekers.

Back, back you go. back it up my friends. I mean, that puts it in a perspective, doesn't it? Yeah. They're actually treating them very humanely like we treat humans. So if you put it like that, yeah. You could have to do a bit of mental arithmetic and gymnastics to get there. But so yeah, that's one thing they try and do.

Australian marine biologist Dr. Olaf Maymecchi has said that when they're towed to the right spot, currents will take them away from land and quote, they vanish quite quickly. Now it's Poseidon's problem. Get out of you. Get out of here. This isn't always possible, especially with larger animals. You need your boat to be at least as big as the carcass. Yeah.

So it can be hard with it. You'd need a cruise ship for it. Yeah, yeah. It's the monster truck conundrum, you know? You got Bigfoot. You got Gravedigger. You got... Yeah.

Yeah. The Megalodon. You got the Megalodon. Yeah. Exactly. It's a monster truck that is a big. shark. Yeah.

You wouldn't know about this. It's always playing in the man cave on TV. Yeah. And I keep saying, I like to see it. Guys, I'd like to watch it. No, you wouldn't get it though. You wouldn't get the megaladone. I'll just sit quietly.

You won't even know I'm there. Matt, Jess is ruining the vibe. We'll always know. Quietly. Looking at them watching the megalodon. Look at her there, nagging with her eyes. So I saw another article suggest. So even though the good Australian Dr. Olaf said,

it was possible. Another article was like, it's not ideal to do that because often they end up just passing on the problem along and they end up washing back ashore to a neighbouring town and they're like, gosh, what the fuck? Yeah. Oh, what? No, that's probably a different whale.

That's probably a different wild carcass. Yeah. I tried. You figure it out. Your turn. It's a hot potato. It's a leaf blower situation. You don't actually solve the problem.

You just send it to your neighbor. The leaf blowers. What a great invention. Yeah, I love them at 7 a.m. Yeah. That's the best time to blow leaves. Yeah, it's moving leaves over a way. I'm not going to wait for a breeze.

Who knows when that'll be? This isn't a windy city after all. So burying them at the beach is another option. And that's what they decided to do with an 18-ton whale that washed ashore at Nobys Beach in Port Macquarie in New South Wales in 2017. That's near us. Ish. That is not long ago.

No. Why aren't these making, I mean, they did make the news. That's where I've read about them. But why didn't they make it to my news for it? Right. Also, do you reckon in Port Macquarie, they went, can we dynamite this thing? Can we? Yeah.

Come on. Go on. I reckon someone suggested it. But I do think this Florence Oregon one is a bit of a cautionary time. Oh, yeah. 18 tons. 18 tons. That's a big.

That's a lot of buckets of sand. You got to... Yeah. How far can you dig at the beach? So they've got the whole... You should see the photos of this hole. It's huge. It's almost like that big cave in Florence, Oregon.

Now I'm off. Fuck, I hate caves. You know, they got big, you know, industrial diggers out there to do it. Because it was also, like, quite protected with cliff faces and stuff. So it was a hard gig to truck it away, so they decided to do the big hole. But this didn't go down well with locals as they believed the smell of the smell of the whale would attract sharks to the popular tourist beach. So a few days later, based on the backlash, the council then dug the whale back up.

This huge operation to bury it, they had to undo it within a couple of days. I thought you were going to say the townsfolk got a mob together with torches and pitchforks and they did it themselves. I think they brought their own spades. They definitely got a mob together and they signed a petition. You know, that mob, they're angry. There was a line of a keyboard warrior. Pass me that pen.

So a 220-ton crane was required when the hole was dug up. Only liquid remains of the 12-meter-long humpback remained, which was transported to landfill at a cost of tens of thousands of dollars. Huh. So how long was it between, they buried it and they brought it back up? I think it was only a few days. Huh, liquefied. They're liquefied.

Wow. Isn't that wild? That's gross. Yeah. That's what it is. You wouldn't be able to cut it up. anymore, but you'd just be able to bucket it out. You absolutely would, yeah.

Get a pump. Sometimes it costs a lot more. According to the ABC, in 2014, a 17-meter dead whale washed up on a Perth beach was trucked to a waste facility at a cost to the local council of $188,000. A waste facility, do you mean Perth? Got him. A lot of love to our listeners out there in Perth.

Yeah, love. Love, love it. But apparently there was a bit of... I've never been to here it's lovely. Yeah, 188 grand it costs the local council. The local council had to pay for it because the W.A. Fisheries Department, who thought the local council, like, obviously you'll deal with it. They're like, no, we're not responsible.

Whales are mammals, not fish. We're the fisheries department. So they didn't have to pay for it. Technicality. Get absolutely fucked. That's great. Love that. Yeah.

Oh, I think you'll find. They would have high-fived a minute. Got them! It's going to come back to Bautamer. There'll be something where they'll be like, Hey, everyone, a gold whale washed up on the beach. Who is it? Oh, I think we'll deal with it.

Oh, really? Actually, a whale is a mammal. Did I say a gold of fish had roared up? No. Bye. Whether or not whale carcasses attract sharks hasn't been settled by science. The locals, like the surfers and that in Port Macquarie are like,

Even if they don't, people think they do and that'll be enough to hurt tourism. So we better dig that liquid whale back out. But our mate, Dr. Olaf, said he was confident a buried whale would attract sharks, saying there was no doubt that sharks were capable of detecting buried carcasses. Quote, the olfactory system of sharks is highly developed so would be capable of detecting the remains of a whale. It's never blood that attracts sharks. It's the fat and oil. Fun fact.

So don't worry about bleeding out. out in the water. I mean, apart from, you know, probably treat your wound. But if you're having a swim and all of a sudden,

you know, you look down and you're bleeding a lot because your arm's missing. Don't worry, it won't attract a shark. Oh, nice. Okay, great. Potentially there's already a shark there, though.

But if I'm eating a potato cake on the beach, that's going to attract him. Yeah. It's fat and oil. Fat and oil. But I think you should just disguise that. Not in New South Wales, though. Potato scallope,

sure. That's, I think you'll get away with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No sharks, it's just a potato cake and I'll be like, oh, that's weird. I've no idea what that is. No idea what that is. Sounds like an awful cake. Yeah.

Proceed. Yeah. As you were. Have a nice day. So there's no real consensus on what the best way to deal with whale carcasses is. Though most seem to agree that dynamite isn't the best way to go about it. And this is based on a precedent maybe set in 1970. You ran that time yet.

But I should say most agree. Okay. Not all. Yep. Western Australian authorities, which is where Perth, Perth's the capital of Western Australia, West Australian authorities told the ABC in 2016 that explosives are still a great option, especially if the whale is still alive. What?

Oh, what? For the ABC, Chris Lewis wrote, How do you kill a 30,000 kilogram whale beached on the sand? A high-powered rifle won't do it. Why the fuck are you immediately trying to... If it's alive, try to get it back. An injection takes too long Fuck me dead

That is insane Waterboarding doesn't work They love it They love water Kicking it If anything it helps keep them alive longer Oh you can't kick a whale To death

Really They I should say They do It's only if they're They're basically saying This is for euthanasia purposes If they'll try and save it if they can

This is if they're like It's in pain We can't save it Let's blow it The most humane way to deal with it. God, I'm glad I'm not a whale. Drop a hand grenade down the blowhole, just pull it out with your teeth. It's similar to like horse humanity theory.

You know, like, how do we deal with this? This horse is a bit hurt. Better kill it. Better shoot it in the head immediately. Which, yeah, I trust them on that. Do they have one of those big foldy screens to put around the whale on the beach before they kill us? When you pull out the white sheet, you're like, uh-oh. Oh, here we go.

Yeah, I think there's going to be a late scratching in this next race. Whale race. The article continues by Chris Lewis. Western Australia's Department of Parks and Wildlife has the solution. You blow it up. They are the only state in Australia using an implosion technique to end the suffering of sick or stranded beach whales with explosives detonated near the head of the mammals. Doug Cogran, Senior Wildlife Officer with the Department of Parks and Wildlife, explains the use of explosives to kill sick and stranded whales. Wales is the most humane way.

And I think that's why Doug got into this business. He got into being the wildlife business to care for animals. And sometimes the best way to care for an animal is to explode an animal. That's right. When I was a kid, I saw this video from 1970. Boy, did it really inspire me to become the man I am today? It's not a real humanitarian. Wow.

Like I, yeah, okay. Obviously, I kind of get where they're coming from in terms of it being as quick as possible, therefore less pain, suffering, etc. Sure, but it's such a... But it's fucking crazy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine if you were applying that to like smaller animals. Yeah. You know, like, hey, your 18 year old dog has had a great life, but, you know, the quality of life now just isn't quite there. I think the most humane thing we can do is blow it up. That's fucking crazy. I think after this has inspired me to, um... Bo hop a dog. Well, yeah, I was going to so suggest. I, I thought, I'd, I'd, I'd just say suggest, I,

I think my suggestion might be, and I might, you know, get some venture capital for this, is the whale guillotine. Oh, yes. Holy shit. You'd have to get it like sort of under its head. Yeah, true. And will this be the start of some sort of revolution? I think so, yeah, yeah, yeah. That somehow feels better to me than blowing it up.

Yeah. But what if they turn out to be like worms and just create two sad whales? Oh, yeah. Two sad whales. That's true. The science hasn't been settled on that, so we don't know. You're right. Has anyone ever beheaded a whale before?

I don't know. Not under strict scientific procedures or whatever. Where does a whale's head start? Oh, that's a great question. How do you lop off a head when you don't? It's so easy to behead a person. You know, already you got that neckline. Yeah, that's right.

But how do you behead? That's right. Well, they're hard to behead. They were, yeah, they did really well in France back in the day. They're like, we can't. They were essentially just getting haircuts. They're like, thank you. See you later.

Yes, where does a whale's head begin? Wow. Yeah. This is really, this episode's making me think a lot. Probably more than you thought a whale explosion episode would. Yeah. The article continues, Doug, they quote Doug Cogran, the wild lot of officer who loves animals and loves exploding him. We've developed an implosion technique, which is detonation of a charge that focuses energy to the brain.

And there is no quicker result than the method currently globally. It's like anywhere in the world, we are market leaders. I know the rest of the world say, don't do this. But the rest of the world is wrong. Since 1989, 146 humpback whales have been recorded stranded off the Western Australian coast, which admittedly is a freaking huge coast. Oh my God. It's massive, yeah.

That's still a lot of whales. It is a lot of whales, isn't it? Of those... It's like you've got the whole ocean. Yeah. And you end up on the bed, like, what are the odds? I've learned a lot, obviously, reading this stuff. If the water's getting shallower, turn around, mate.

Apparently they find that a lot of the ones, so they try, if they can, if they're not too barely decomposed, they'll try and get in there and study them, do basically do an autopsy on them, or they call them necropsy maybe. And they find that a lot of them look like they haven't eaten in a while. Maybe they've been struggling for food and that's, I don't know. That might be part of it. Yeah, that's right. Well, guess why you won't get my potato cake?

Yeah. I'd rather let you starve to death. Yeah, yeah. It costs me 480 this potato cake. Whoa. It's an absolute fucking rip-off. Yeah. And then 20 cents for sauce.

That's right. Yeah. It's never enough either. The mining boob in W.A. was great for the miners. The mining boob. Just squirting out iron ore. Had the big mine nipple. That's a, that's a t-shirt idea.

Yeah. There it is. You there, questions might arise. So what is that about? It's a very niche podcast. Okay. Yeah. I'm not one of them big mainstream podcasts.

Are there mainstream podcasts now? Oh my God. I don't think so. Joe Rogan. We're still very indie. So of the 146 whales that were found, 50 were alive. 26 died soon after and 16 were euthanized. According to explosive expert Ian Stiles and this guy, you know this.

guy doesn't have a vested interest. You know, you were talking about before the every to a hammer, everything looks like a nail. This guy's an explosives expert. Oh, yeah. This guy definitely is like, a problem, eh? I've got a solution, yeah. My boy's grades aren't up to it at school. I think I know what'll motivate him.

Positive affirmations. Yeah. And then we can go down the quarry and blow some stuff up. Yeah. If you get an A, we can go blow up a while. So according to A installs, if an animal is severe. severely injured and suffering, this procedure is the most effective way to end suffering quickly. And he has no vested interest in this.

We place the charge on top of the whale's head, a bit back from the blowhole. The aim is to penetrate the blubler. That's where the head is. Oh, there you go. A bit back from the blowhole. Okay. A bit back from the blowhole. Yeah.

Right. That would be like the neck. Yeah. So now we know where the guillotine can go. Perfect. Thanks, idiot. You're giving away your trade secrets. You're putting yourself out of business.

That's right. You've got some direct competition coming. way, mate. Style says the skull on the whale is quite thick and it's virtually impossible to shoot it with a high powered rifle. So we have to use explosives. See, you both were questioning before, but you didn't realize that they have to. They have to.

It sounds like they have to, honestly. I do feel foolish. Yeah. In the US, injections and drugs are sometimes used to euthanase and they do get a result, but quite slowly, Mr. Cogran says, when you're dealing with, that's Doug. When you're dealing with 40,000 kilos of animal, it's not that. easy. The drug doses are massive and then you're left with 40 tonnes of poisonous bait. So basically all of a sudden, you've euthanise it, now you've got this huge poisonous carcass.

They haven't even smoked the whole bloody joint, am I right? It's a really, really big, rolled up a big joint. Put in their mouth, you know? You're going to get one of those big pups, those bellows, like blowing into their lungs, you know? Why don't, like, Pinocchio style just go inside of it and have a compression session? That way you're not wasting any of it. Yeah. You're enjoying it.

The whales having a good time. Yeah. Or as good as the time as you can have as you slowly die on a beach. At least we're thinking of other ideas. Yes. Not just going straight to blow it up. Yeah, that's true. And then what?

Then you self to, like, blowing it up doesn't mean it's just like, it's gone now. Yes. One of the other problems with blowing it up is you still have to get rid of the chunks. And you've screwed them out a bit more. Yeah. If it's a less of a while problem, now a chunk problem. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, Coggren says our implosion technique has been the most humane.

He believed the state was a leader in both carcass disposal and humane response protocols. It's not a nice thing to do, he said, but when we're faced with it, we're better off understanding how to do it correctly, humanely and instantly to reduce the suffering of the whale as humanely as possible. So, like, it makes sense to me, but it is also like, I mean, I should say this right off the bat. I'm not a scientist. But we are being sponsored by whale implosion. We sure are, yes. Yeah. Oh, is that time for our ad?

That's right. Let's throw to it now. It'd be so great if it is. They're different everywhere. Odds are somewhere. Somewhere it's whale in place. Yeah. Maybe in Oregon.

Probably there, yeah. All right, we'll be back in a second. Let us know if it's a wild explosion ad. This wasn't what they were thinking about in Oregon, though, the humane aspect of it as the whale was already deceased. So they didn't have to worry about that side of it. The state of Oregon enlisted engineers from the Oregon State Highway Division, as I said before, for the job of blowing up the whale.

When I, when a big sea creature exploded, I think state highway division, that's who I call. Codna Linman, the hope was that the long dead whale would be almost disintegrated by the blast and that any small piece is still around after the explosion would be taken care of by seagulls and other scavengers. I don't know how small of the bits they think it's going to be for a seagull to just be able to chip sizes. Just capture a bit in the air and keep flying. Yeah.

Just a chunk of whale. And he noted that on the day there were lots of seagulls watching with anticipation. I can almost picture them licking their lips. They don't have lips, though. No. They have tongues? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Licking their beaks. Yeah. Okay? Thank you. Don't look at me. like that. Okay.

I'm not sure where to look. Look at me, just not like that. Okay. Better. The man in charge of the project was an engineer named George Thornton from the Oregon State Highway Division, of course. Lindman interviewed him on the beach. This is all part of the video and the news report from that night. And as the final preparations for the explosion were going on, it was almost like I was interviewing him like pre-games, like a coach.

So how are you feeling about it? What's going on? We're just going to take this one chunk at a time. And when he was asked his thoughts, Thornton replied, well, I'm confident that it'll work. The only thing is we're not sure just exactly how much explosives it'll take to disintegrate this thing

so the scavenger, seagulls and crabs and whatnot can clean it up. Not really sure how much use seems like a minor detail. Oh, well. They had a crack at it anyway, opting to use half a ton of dynamite. I've seen this amount describe. both as too much and not enough. Talking to KATU years later, Linman said Thornton had consulted with the United States Navy,

which had done things like this in the past. The general consensus from all involved after the explosion was that not enough dynamite was used. So, yeah, should have been maybe the full ton, 10 tons. I mean, can you use enough? How much do you got? We'll take it all. That's exactly right, yeah.

Just fill it up. Better to do too much than not enough. Yeah. Or the town, if you have to. I mean, at the moment. Look like I have some beautiful bridges there. Yeah, that's right. But all that day, their biggest attraction was a huge cave.

You can create a second one. Oh my God, yep. Yeah. Double your business. Just use your heads. Fucking how. I'm sick of having to do this for everybody. Yeah.

And by do this, I mean, do everything. Yeah, everything. Freaking hell. Use your brains for us, hoarse. Jeez. So how common is it for sperm whales to be washed ashore? According to Caroline Loughbridge writing to the BBC in 2012, the Citation Strandings investigation program, some sort of British thing. C-S-S-Sip IP, C-Sip, maybe we'll call it.

C-Sip investigates whale, dolphin and poipus, poip-poipus, poipoys. How do you say that word? It investigates with porpoise. Poipoes. How do you say that? Am I close? Yep. You're nailing it every time.

Even when you say it different ways. You're nailing it. Okay, great. Yeah. So C-Sip investigates, wild dolphin and poipus. That doesn't feel right. Is that right? No, it's right, though.

You're right. What is that? Yeah, you're right. It feels like I'm saying it weird. No, you're saying it perfectly. No, that's great. It's good. Seatsip Investigates, wild dolphin and poipus strandings,

recording nine cases of sperm whales being washed ashore in the UK alone in 2011. What about poipuses? And obviously, the UK is a lot smaller than the US. Poipuses, quite a bit more, I think. they're a lot smaller though. But it sounds like there are heaps more if you count all whales, as Lowbridge wrote. Since 1990, C-Sysip has recorded about 10,500 strandings of dead and living cetaceans, and approximately 10% each year are whales.

Interestingly, police had to investigate when dead whale parts were put up for sale on Facebook back then. Rob Deaville from the Zoological Society of London said that whale parts would technically belong to the crown. They're like, you can't just take wild parts and sell. Classic Rob Deval. They're owned by the crown. He said they are classified as royal fish.

Those are the queen's whale bits. Yeah. Doesn't the king, doesn't he own all, I don't know, big birds or something? Some sort of big. What are swans? Yes, there is a thing about swans. Yeah, and that's like a real old rule. He owns all the swans.

You're not allowed to eat swans. Yeah, only the king can eat the swans. What the fons? Fuck? Yeah, some really, really, like, centuries old rule. But apparently this is a similarly old rule. A very ancient statute gave the head of the crown the right to all cetaceans stranded around the UK.

Oh, he gets them all, does he? Well, lucky for some. Called dibs. Yeah. But apparently it's, it's not that straightforward because the king has, I mean, and I don't even thought about this, but your problem about where the head starts and ends in a while would be a nightmare. Because the king has the right to the head and the queen.

has the right to the tail. Whoa. And the commoners get the stuff in the middle or the House of Lords gets the stuff in the middle. Or is that, or is a whale just head and tail? Oh, it's a good point. Nothing for the people. Nothing for the people.

Yeah. That sounds about right. Yeah. I mean, I wonder during Queen Elizabeth the second's reign, so no one had right to the head during period? Oh, they were just whale heads being. Yeah. What do they do with them?

Blum up. Guillotine them off. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sam to the French. Yeah, that's right. They love them. Those freaks.

Love them. I love them in a wild. Anyway, she must have been furious, Queen Elizabeth, in 2009, which is how I say 2009, when people took turns to climb up. The year of the porpoise. In that year, people took turns to climb on and ride the carcass of a minky whale that washed ashore so that they could ride the body for photos and whatnot of the whale, which washed ashore in the Welsh town of Barry.

What's a minky whale? Yeah, right, that's a cute name though. It is cute. I feel like maybe a smaller one. I bet they're gross. We should look it up. Okay, let's have a look at this thing. Oh, no, they look great.

Mink, minky, mink. Yeah, that's a cool. I mean, that's a classic whale. I'm less impressed by that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a whale. Yeah. Whatever.

What do you are? Yeah. Minky whale, more like standard whale. Vanilla whale, anybody? I love vanilla. All right, back to Florence, Oregon. Like to me, that's a fucking whale. Yeah.

That's sick. They look so like, like the... Orcas. They're just sort of a bit shiny. I love that black and white. Yeah. You call them killer whale, but it's more like killer like radical. Yeah, nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Killer Riz. Yeah. That's what young people say, isn't it? That's right. It's got Riz. It's got Riz coming out of the wazoo. Yeah.

That's what they did say. It's a Deer Leapas song, I think. Riz are coming out to the Wazoooo. It's really good. It's in the Barbie soundtrack. Yeah. So back to Florence, Oregon. On the 12th of November 1970, it's going to happen.

So three days earlier, it arrives. The stink gets bad in three days. It doesn't take long to get stinky. No, yeah, they were breaking down and getting pretty gross quick. So according to Lindman, the dynamite was buried primarily on the leeward side of the whale, which was the, you know, the land side. Okay. With the idea of blowing it out to the sea.

Right. So I could flow and the seagulls would be able to peck out. They said seagulls and crabs. They thought it was going to be tiny pieces. Tiny little morsels. Just a sliver. Because I'm a crab. There were about 75 bystanders and they were moved back a quarter of a mile away.

So they'd just drag race there individually. I think Paul Walker drove them all. At this point, spectators I heard ooing and aarring in the footage just before the explosion. Oh. Ew. Ew. Those idiots. Those absolute rubs.

You can hear one mother telling her child, you can take your hands out of your ears now just after the explosion. God. So the explosion, you can take your hands out of ears now. The explosion's happened. You look like an idiot. You look silly.

You are embarrassing me. Others are heard laughing just after the explosion. But this doesn't last long. Because soon the splattering sound of blubber chunks falling to the ground can be heard. When a woman calmly observes, like too calmly she goes, here come pieces of whale. What I don't know what.

Yuck! Cordona Linman, quote, our cameras stopped rolling immediately after the blast. The humour of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere. Pieces of meat passed high over our heads while others were falling in our feet. The dunes were rapidly evacuated as spectators escaped at both the falling debris. That's what that song is about that crowd and our song.

Yes. Whale blubber. Yeah. Not a lot of people know that. Yeah, that's right. But it's a whale blubber based song. Whenever whale blubber falls at your feet, you let your whale blubber rain down on me. Go beautiful song.

The whale blubber. You know, as it goes on. So it's a single, we can really. single. We'll do it up. That's just a little taster, a little morsel. We'll do it unlike a version. So the dunes were rapidly evacuated

and spectators escape both the falling debris and the overwhelming smell. So I was like, we'll solve this smell by exploding it everywhere. It can't smell worse on the inside. Why would it? Oh, man. Here's some of Linman's finest work, I think. So in the news report, the went there later that day,

that night, prior to the explosion, he said, The sand dunes were covered with spectators and land lubber newsmen, shortly to become land blubber newsmen. Oh, nice. Your, the pure glee on your face as you read that. How does he do it? Linman. Lin man, Lin, the man. Oh, yeah.

Riz, at the wazoo, up to Linman's wazoo. That's right. You know what Riz is for sure. I mean, he was obvious, it's so funny that he just went through this. pretty scary incident. And he's like, now for some wordplay. Yeah. Because then he goes, he goes, I'm going to do a little wordplay joke.

Then I'm going to do a sentence full of alliteration because he goes, straight after the land blubber newsman line. He goes, for the blast blubber beyond all believable bounds. My God. He's just having a good day at work. He's having a great time. He was 23 at the time. He's giddy.

He's giddy with the excitement. Yeah. This is great. When the blubber started. This is back to the Oregon. Historical Society article. When the blubber started hitting the ground around us, we realized we weren't far enough away,

Lidman said. We were running away when we heard a second tremendous explosion in front of us. What? Sounds a bit like a weird, surreal war scene, you know? A piece of blubber the size of a coffee table hit the top of an oldtmobile

and completely flattened the roof. It, like it just exploded. The windows blew out. If anyone was in the car, they would have been squash. See, that was going to be my question was how big were the pieces? of the blubber.

You like the size of a brick or like the size of a coffee table. Yeah, they were huge chance. And in the 70s, a coffee table was big. Yes. You were doing a lot of entertaining. Yeah, that's right. A lot of fondue being served on coffee tables,

tell you that much. That's right. In your conversation pit. Yeah, that's right. Very 70s. This car wasn't, it wasn't parked on the sand or anything. It was parked a quarter mile away. Oh, my God.

Luckily, poor Walker just got out of it. And, yeah, fortunately, that was probably the worst damage that was done. No humans, humans got hit, but not with huge pieces. No one got killed or injured badly. However,

everyone on the scene was covered with small particles of dead whale. And apparently, everyone there was unable to get rid of the stench for many, many days afterwards. They just stank it up of rotting whale. Well,

to this moment, I'd be like, I wouldn't have minded being there, but I think, I've got to be stinky. No, thank you. No, thank you. Just bring an umbrella.

Linman continues. As for the success of the effort, well, the seagulls who were supposed to clean things up were nowhere in sight, either scared away by the explosion or kept away by the smell. That didn't really matter. The remaining chunks were of a size that no respectable seagull would attempt to tackle anyway. As darkness began to set in, the highway crews were back on the beach burying the remains after all,

including a large piece of the carcass, which never left the blast site. And when he says a large piece of the carcass, I would say the majority of the carcass. Yeah. The bottom bit. Yeah, it was like it looked like still a full whale. There's footage of them, you know, getting a digger in there and just bearing it anyway. Had they considered more dynamite, a second round of dynamite.

It's funny because that head engineer before the explosion he said on Camry said, we're not sure we might have to give it another round, but obviously they were like, yeah, maybe not. Maybe not after that. So fair to say, it was a bit of a phase. Yeah, okay. A fail whale, what they would call it. A fwale. A fwale.

Yeah. I see, that's what... Is that what the kids are saying now? Yeah. Yep. You got mad fwile. Yeah, that's right. Some of that.

This is according to Cowan. At the time, Lidman and Brazil had no idea that the news footage they captured would become arguably one of the most watched films in Oregon history. The footage eventually made the evening news, an odd singular moment in Oregon history, and the seemingly one-time story found legs. A videotape copy was made and shared. Copies were made of copies, image quality deteriorating with each duplication. And Dave Barry, a columnist for the Miami Herald on the other side of the country, found the footage and mentioned it in his column he wrote in May of 1990.

And a lot of articles suggest that this is when it really took on a bit of a viral. This is a real meme, isn't it? Yeah. Meme before memes. Pretty meme. Although Barry's column is often credited as the instance that generated initial interest. The footage didn't really take off until a copy of the broadcast found its home on the internet, quickly being shared across many websites.

I love websites. Yeah. What are your favourites? Fark.com. Remember farc.com? F-I-R-K dot com. And all sorts of interesting things on it. I don't know if I remember farck.com.

Well, you should get into it. I think it's probably still around. It's got to be. It's got to be. Geocities. Geocities. Angelfire.com. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Make your own websites. I think the first website I ever saw, a friend of mine. First website I ever saw. Yeah. Rotten.com. Rodden.com is a big one. They'd have a exploding well on rotten.com.

Let me tell you that. Yeah. So, yeah, start to be shared across many websites. Probably things like rotten.com and FARC. Fark.com. Is that a dedicated to the king of Australian TV, Graham Kennedy, and his famous crow call? Absolutely. Fuck.

Very controversial. Very good stuff. He said fuck. Endlessly funny. No, he didn't say fuck. No. So I don't know what people are talking about. Licking his lips?

It's great footage. It's good stuff. Sorry, beak, licking his beak. Graham Kennedy, famously no lips. Yes. Famously a bird. A no-lipped king of Australian television. He's the ostrich puppet one, isn't he?

That's right. Some niche stuff going on here. So long considered to be one of the first viral videos, a 2006, UK study estimated that the exploding wild video had been viewed 350 million times. And that's what 17 years ago. So I can only assume it's probably 351 million times or something by now. Because I watched it a million times. So the town, you might be wondering, how do they feel about it?

Are they proud of this? Are they not? Well, Brian Peach wrote in the New York Times about the 50th anniversary of the event in 2020. he quoted Megan Messma, Florence City's project manager. She said, if you talk to people, it's not necessarily a proud moment. In particular, the... But if you read people's minds. Yes.

Yeah, that's right. It's not particularly a proud moment either. Thornton lived into his 80s, the man who was in charge of it, and he never got on board with it. He hated people asking about it. And, yeah, he felt really embarrassed. So it was pretty sad. You kind of wish that he'd just...

see the fun of it. No one. No one really cares. Just, you know, you didn't. How would you know. Nobody had in trouble for anything, right? No. And you know, you did check with the Navy. I'd be, I'd be like, yeah, I did what they told me to do. Yeah, yeah. Pretty funny thing. Anyway. Pretty gross. Whoops. Yeah, but unfortunately, it sounds like he sort of, he just felt like it plagued him. And every time went viral again, he'd be like, and then there's one famous time where he's talking about how he hated talking about. And he goes, every time I open my mouth, it just explodes in my face. And apparently was not on purpose.

And people are like, that is good. And he's like, I fricking hate this. I hate everything about it. I hate you. This is what I'm talking about. I'm exploding with rage and blah, blah, right now. Oh, no, I've done it again. I've done it again.

Ah! The blast is a point of contention for some residents. Miss Messma said, as the city is often blamed for the decision to blow up the carcass. She very defensively was like, the state highway division was actually responsible. Joe Bordeaux, the owner of a local art supply store, said the explosion is still a little bit of a touchy subject for residents. 50 years later. Yeah, especially those involved in the blast. Guys, chill the fuck out.

I feel like it's such a shame because, I mean, I can understand I would be embarrassing for a while, but you hope you'd just eventually be like, well, anyway, it was cool to be involved in something that is remembering. This bloke's selling a lot of tins of whale blubber grey paint The store though, so He's doing a right out of, isn't he? You imagine that there wouldn't be many days, you know, an ordinary day for the Highway Patrol division that would be remembered 50 years later.

Yeah. In the last couple of years, residents were asked to vote for a name of a new park Oh, yes. In Florence. And more than half of the final tally voted for exploding whale memorial park. Okay, so I think, I think, I think maybe for a younger demographic, it is pretty funny.

Yeah, they're getting on board. That was 439 votes out of 856 total votes. More people voted on this topic than the name of that park. Not wild. Yes, that is wild. That is wild. This is way less important than a park's name. Yeah.

And that's why it sounded pretty random that Joe Bordrow was interviewed, but Joe also designed the logo of the park. There it is. Other options. When you've got a logo. everything looks like a thing that needs a logo. That's what I always say. And you can sell them a logo.

Yeah. Did you coin that one? Yeah. Oh, wow, that's pretty cool. Yeah. The other popular options, although not very popular, were bridge view park, which is so dull. Boring. And Souselor River View Park.

Because you can both view the bridge and the Souselor River from the park. And we saw it in that photo. So that makes sense. Yeah. Both of those make sense. A lot of park names don't really make sense. to be honest though. I'm always just like, you know, the park, the park near this.

I never know the name of parks. But I think, like, I now want to go to that park. Yeah. I want to get a photo with that sign. If you had exploding whale memorial park, you could build like a, like some sort of water feature. Yeah. The whale is there and then every hour on the hour, like it. Yes.

Like the water comes out and bits come off. Yes. And you go, whoa! Yeah, you go, whoa, exactly. And the playground could be whale themed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Kids could have like a whale seesaw, but also like chunks of, but they're like rocks or

stuff for kids to climb on, but it's like they're painted like chunks of whale. Right. I thought you were saying the rocks would fly into the air. And I love that as an idea. I think that'd be fine. When I was a kid, we used to let rocks fly in the air playgrounds. I can't see any ways. I peel both ways those rocks went.

I can't understand how that could end badly. So yeah. So the new sign made by the local arts store worker. The picture is a rendering of a whale spouting water in the shape of a heart And Ms. Mesma again I feel that so much of it reads it's defensive She goes, it's not gory, it's actually a cute whale It's a cute whale, okay?

It's not an exploding whale, okay? It's cute, it's not gory And I like that energy from Miss Meshmer It'd be a killer whale Okay And if it was cute, you wouldn't have to go on the record Saying it's a cute whale A cute whale, that speaks for itself.

Also, that's not historically accurate, is it? Yes, that's my problem with it. It should be a rotting exploded whale, you know? Yeah. I think they've missed a trick here. Yeah. So she hopes that the park can serve as a reminder that, quote, we should celebrate our mistakes and not be embarrassed.

And that's a beautiful way to think about it. I agree. And if only our man Thornton were alive to hear that words of advice. Anyway, I love, if it wasn't for this man, Thornton, I'm just sad he never came to terms of it. Yeah. I thought he did a great thing, exploding a whale into the air. The 1970 blast was a lesson learned for Oregon.

There is now a policy to bury carcasses that can't be removed easily, Miss Messma said. So that's what they still do. They just bury him. Paul Linman has said, just as a final thought from him, how it changed his life. He says, I was asked about it virtually every day of my life or commented on it by everyone, strangers alike. To have this and then, so he's like, he's like telling a story about. going to a coffee shop that week. And he came out and someone goes,

but you know, one's mentioned a stranger goes, but you know, one's mentioned the exploding whale yet. And he's like, actually they just did inside the shop. It was like 7.30 a.m. He's like a salem.

He's like a day of that every day. Like, yep, but he seems to be cool with it, you know, but still. And Brazil said the cameraman, to have it live as a story

still on the internet after 50 years is just amazing. Which I think, I mean, you're setting a pretty low expectation. I think there's all sorts of obscure stories that live on the internet. Yeah, but for 50 years? Oh, that's a good point.

That is a great point. I didn't ever realize the internet weren't that far back. You take that back. I wonder when we're going to reach the point where people are like, no, they faked that. Because you know everything on the internet, it's like, they faked it actually. That is funny to say that because when it was going viral, that's what everyone thought. They're like, that's clearly faked. And a part of that was how Linman was so jovial about it all.

They're like, clearly this is bullshit. This is like an April Fool's Day prank. But unless I've fallen for it, I believe that's true. Pranked. Fake. Fanked. Thornton went his whole life pretending that he hated it, but he was actually a character actor. He's like, every time people mention it to me, I'm like, that's another dollar in the bank.

That's right. This is part of the Highway Patrol's budget. Crisis actors. So that's the story of the Florence, Oregon, wild explosion. I thought, just to finish, tell you a quick story about maybe the second most famous whale explosion. Sure. Do you have something to do with this? I thought that's where you were going with that.

I thought I'd tell you about the time I exploded a whale. So to speak. I don't know what that means. This one happened in Taiwan, a place I certainly have never been and had nothing to do with this. Interesting. Very defensive. Yeah. Because your T-shirt says otherwise.

Oh no. I was at the Taiwan whale explosion. I went to Taiwan. I done it myself. Me, Matt Stewart. This happened in 2004. Oh, 2004, as I say. Let me tell you the story in brief via Rooters, the news.

No, it's routers. What is it? Routers. Royters. Let's tell you a story all about how that whale got flipped, turned upside down. It's dynamite. That'll do it. Residents of Tainan learned a lesson in whale biology

after the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale exploded on a busy street, showering nearby cars and shops with blood and organs and stopping traffic for hours. So this was a little bit different. This one was not on purpose. This sounds spontaneous. Or porpoise.

Is that? I think I said it right that time. That felt right. Yeah. What was I saying before? You've been saying it like that the whole time. Okay. Yeah, you've been saying it right. the whole time.

Okay. Nobody will tweet you about it at all. You'll be fine. Oh, thank God. The 56 foot long whale had been on a truck headed for a necropsy by researchers when gases from internal decay caused its entrails to explode in the southern city of Tynan. Residents and shop owners wore masks while trying to clean up the spilt blood and entrails. What a stinking mess.

This blood and other stuff that blew out on the road is disgusting. And the smell is really awful. A BBC news report quoted one resident as saying. Wow, do you get the bloody peopal at surprise for that? Oh, this is, this smells actually. It's bad. Oh, yucky. Yucky, no, no, no.

I don't like it. I thought this would be good, but it's bad. I'm really disappointed when I heard guts and blood explosion. I was like, hooray. Oh, this is pure. Oh, pewie. Yark. Researchers at the National Cheng Kung University in Thailand said enough of the

while remained to allow for an examiner. by marine biologists. They said it was yucky. They said, yeah. Our research... Indicates it's yucky. It's actually really gross. That's our conclusion.

This is where the report takes what I would call a bit of a left-hand turn. Okay. To the sexy. What's offensive to me is a left-hander? Well, you don't know. I'm a left-hander, but I'm also not a snowflake, so I'll find this. So it goes on to say... I'm going to kick you.

Oh, God, no. On my left foot, too. Fuck you. Once the carcass was moved to a nearby nature preserve, the male specimen, the largest while ever recorded in Taiwan, drew the attention of locals because of its large penis. Measured at some five feet, the Taipei Times reported. More than 100 Tianan city residents, mostly men,

have reportedly gone to see the corpse to experience the size of the penis, the newspaper reported. What is it? Men and penis. Penises. This is like... What is that... What is that mean?

What is that... What is that... What are you doing? Where is that... It's science circles or something like that where a lot of people have attempted to run as fast as Kathy Frey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that. It's exactly that.

Just men going like, I reckon's about the same, actually. Yeah. It's about the same. Not far. And when you think about, like, in relation to, in the, like, the ratio from the body to the dick, it's actually kind of small. Yeah. Like, if you measure it from here, actually, it's not that big. But if you may...

It only looks big because it's shaved. it's pubes. Like, you look at how big the whale is. Like, comparatively, that's actually, like, that's nothing that special. But, like, you know, if you do the same for men, I'm just saying, comparatively. I really just did not see the article going there. Yeah, that is a bit of a left-hand turn. So it exploded, but obviously its huge cock was still intact.

Yeah, couldn't be. Thank God for that. Thank God that those hundred men, or mostly men, were able to experience it. Oh, man. I've just got so many other things in my day I'd rather do than go and... Oh, name ten. Look at a big whale dick, but the body's also gross. I feel like I can imagine it.

It's like, do I need to go see the Mona Lisa? I know what it looks like. Yeah. It's the same as that. Yeah. A big whale dick, yeah, I got it. What if you're local though? What if, Jess, you know, you're on your way to work and you're getting your coffee at the cafe or whatever, and then there's a sign.

It says whale dick, 100 metres on left. You know? 100 meters. Yeah, 100 meters. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, wow. 50 metres? Yeah.

Maybe. All right, okay. If they're, I'm getting out for one of those signs, but I'm not, I'm not getting in the car, chucking it in, in my GPS, big whale dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I want a leisurely road trip, and, you know, I've stopped at a few scenic lookouts because I've got the time. And then I see the sign for whale dick, 100 meters on left. I'd be like, I've got, what do they mean by whale dick? I'll have a look.

Based on the Michelin Star rating, this would only get a one. Like if I happened to be going that way, and it was there. I wouldn't go out of my way. It's not a three, obviously. I would make a special trip to look at the whale dick. But if it's there. It's there. Yeah.

Yeah. I reckon us three would make good road trip buddies. I feel like we're all on the same page there. Because you could go with some who are going, hey, it's just a 45 minute detour to go see a wild dick. Can we just keep going? Yeah. I just want to get to the accommodation. I unpack my bag.

Yeah. Which I mean unzip my bag. That's right. And leave it to spill out onto the floor. Yeah. Yeah, I want a crack open a tinny Okay There's nothing better

After a long drive out here That tinny getting cracked Plus the world's largest bird cloac Is just down the road as well We've already planned to go to that Yeah Do we have to do both Yeah

One day we'll be on a journey Past the Wild Dick We'll see it then Stop it but like I'm not going out of the way For 45 minutes Nah Nah Yeah.

Oh, I notice you're not the one driving, but you're suggesting 45 minutes out of the way. Windy Road too? Perfect. Just what I want. Just what I want. Oh, look, guys, it's the whale dick on the tucker box. Let's go to that instead. That's perfect for everyone.

That's perfect. And it's on the way. It's on the way. It's the big whale dick. One of Australia's many big things. Well, anyway, that's the story of the Taiwanese exploding whale and, of course, also the story of the Florence Oregon Exploding Whale. I don't know if you have any final thoughts before we wrap up.

Um, I loved it. I also loved it. Yeah. That's, was that so hard? I loved it. Yep. Great call. Blow it up.

Had everything we needed. Yeah. A big whale. Yep. You explode the whale. Yep. Bits of a whale. Mm-hmm.

Whale dick at the end. Yep. Yeah. Had everything I've ever asked for in a podcast. Yeah. Thanks so much for joining us, May. So you do have to run off to record your other very good podcast, which I think of this. Yep.

This is the time. I'm finally going to do one. I saw a quote from Josh Holmey recently because I saw Eagles of Death Matter last month or whatever. And Josh Homie is the drummer in that band, but he only in the studio. And he said, they're not my side project. I have two bands. And I think of that as the same for you, the weekly planet and do go on podcast. Yeah, that's right.

Only canon episodes of Do you go on podcast. That's exactly right. This isn't a side project for you. No. This is just one of your two good podcasts. I've got the Beatles and I've got the other Beatles. Like the Beatles did. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. They had the beat, people don't know this, but they had the Beatles, and then there was the Beatles without Ringo. Yeah. And they just did. Second Beatles. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But your podcast, The Weekly Planet, for people who don't know, I know a lot of listeners to this show are also listeners of that. But some might not know. It's a great podcast about, you know, comic book movies and such things. Oh, my God. The wheels are really falling off that train, aren't they? The superhero movie genre. But yeah, we talk about big blockbuster movies.

Barbenheimer you did last month. Yeah, exactly. You know, we're adaptable. Yeah. We'll talk about, you know, we'll talk about any kind of IP, whether it be Barbies or atomic bombs. Where do you sit on the proposed Mattel Cinematic Universe? Oh, they're going to try one more and it's going to fail and then they're going to stop doing it.

It's like what it's going to be? Yeah. Maybe Hot Wheels. Yes. But Fast and the Furious already exists. That's right. I don't really know. It's required.

But yeah, people should check that out. And, Mesa, we've also just recorded an episode which probably came out weeks ago of who knew with Matt Stewart, which you're on. And so is Jess. Yes. And it was so much fun. I won. I won. All right. All right. I don't know if you're joking or not. I can't remember. It was already moments ago. But thanks so much for being here. What a pleasure. Delightful. Always good to be here in stupid old studios.

What an honor to have the great man, Mesao, in here as we wave goodbye to him. We can still see him. Bye, Mesa. Bye. Can't hear him, though. Can't hear him. He's flipping me off, but I think what I can make out he's saying is this is a sign of love. Yes. I think in the tram game, because it's such a life and death industry that he works in, they have to have pretty straight to the point language. Yes. So for I love you, it's one middle finger up.

Yep. And sort of mouthing words, fuck you. Which is what it looks like. That's very direct. But what they're saying is love you. Love you. Love you. We've got to do it with a hard F.

Yep. Otherwise you can't. You're like, what letter is that? Yeah. Anyway. L's too ambiguous. Yeah. Very clear.

That's love. Yep. So, anyway, now that he's gone, finally we can get to the best part of the show, everyone's favourite section of the show where we thank some of our fantastic supporters. Without these people, this show doesn't exist. Yep. It's gone.

Yep. It's like, well, did David Coplefield just come in here? No, the Patreon supporters aren't here. There's a mass exodus of Patreon supporters because of something we said, problematic. And, you know, we tried to apologize. Yeah. But you wouldn't listen.

We said, I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Yes. We did a soft apology. Yeah. Which we thought was enough. We thought that's, that'll do. But apparently it made it worse. So now.

And we're, yeah, now we're sorry, you're still offended. All the patrons are gone. Yeah. And we're financially ruined. So this is the last episode. This is the scenario. If, in a. another scenario.

Yeah, in another universe. Dave gets back from his holiday and he's like, what the fuck happened? Sorry, we blew it up. I'm sorry. We blew it up. You don't have to join. And he'll be like, what are you, David Copperfield?

And we're like, what? That's an old reference, Dave. And he didn't blow things up. No, he made things seem to disappear. He was an illusionist day. Dave, what's wrong with you? Are you okay? What?

Do you get your head on your trip? On your holiday? You go away on a holiday, you come back, stupid? Yeah. Honestly, Dave. Maybe it's time for another holiday, an endless one. Yeah. Fuck off, we say.

And he says, I love you too. Why don't you take a long holiday off a short peer, Dave? Yeah, we say. We say in that scenario. But luckily, in the real world scenario, we are here to thank some of our great Patreon supporters. If you want to sign up, you can do so at patreon.com. com slash do go on pod.

Patreon.com slash do go on pod. And there's a bunch of different levels you can go to, all sorts of different things you can get involved with. Facebook group. Yep. Voting on topics. Early access to tickets. Three bonus episodes a month.

And at the time of recording, we're only 150 new patrons away from doing four bonus episodes per month. Yeah. With the fourth one being some sort of a D&D campaign. Yeah, it's going to be wild. Yeah. And yeah, one of the other things we do is the fact quote of question section. And this is for people on the Sydney-Shaunberg level.

If you sign up there, you get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question or a bragg or suggestion or really whatever you like. You also get to give yourself a title. And this section actually has a jingle. Go something like this. Fact quote or question. Ding. I always remember the ding and she always remembers the sing.

And this week, we've got four, like most weeks. And I'm going to read them out now. And I read them out for the first time when I read them out. And the first one here comes from Madeline Baker, aka managing director of directing management. Oh, thank God. That has been a gaping hole in our team. That has been a gaping hole. For a while?

Yes. We've really been noticing the impact it has had on us as a business and as people. It hasn't been sitting vacant. It's been sitting gaping. That's right. So I'm very glad to have you, Madeline Baker, finally filling that important role. And Madeline's asking a question, writing and asking, Are you guys into Games Night?

If so, what's your favourite game to play as a group? Ooh, Games Night. I like games. I don't know. I wouldn't say I regularly play them. I play Yartsy on my phone a bit lately. I've become probably almost, I would say probably almost have a Yatzi problem right now.

Right. I've been getting to the pile where I'm like, well, I'll just do a quick Yatzi and then I'll brush my teeth. Yeah, wow. I'll have a quick Yatzi. Then I'll walk over to the next room. Oh, before I walk to another room across, I've got two rooms in my house.

I will just play a quick Yatzi. Okay. Wow. You're Yartzy mad right now. Oh, I'm busting for a piss. Oh, but before that, let's Yatzi. Okay. You couldn't like Yartzi while you piss?

Yatzy and piss. That's disrespectful to two great things in my life. I love to do stuff while I piss. Really? Yeah, love it. Getting things done. Yeah, I'll go. Women can do that thing with two at once.

Threesomes. No, what is it? Multitask. Yes. Yes. Yep. I guess the threesome. In a lot of ways, three at once.

But I guess it's you and two others. Yeah. We've, I thought, okay, we've gone from like the episode where we're like talking at a normal level. We've come back to do this later. Yeah. We've had more coffee in the meantime, more sugar. And now we're going, oh, blah, blah, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. I had my famous coffee and orange juice combo.

You're a psycho. And I say that with love. Anyway, games. I do like games. Oh, yeah. I forgot what we were talking about. Love games. Do you want to hear Madeline's answer first?

Madeline writes, mine is the game of things. It's like cards against humanity, but you write your own answers. It gets pretty wild, and I would not recommend playing with your parents because yakes. Oh, okay, just get a bit naughty, does it? What if your parents are naughty? Madeline, what if you, what if you, what if Madeline, have you ever tried playing with your parents, Madeline? Or Jess? I reckon John and your mum,

yeah, Annie, would love this game. I've never heard of it. I've never played it. But I reckon, I reckon from Vibe Alone, I think they're going to be into it. We go through phases of playing 500 as a family. It's a card game?

Yeah, it's a fun card game. I've played, so I don't do games nights frequently, but I do usually enjoy them whenever somebody has the initiative to pull out a game. One I played at a friend's place in a group recently was the blockbuster game. Were you like, I don't know, it was, it was, I just remember I had like a minute on the clock or something and you had to name as many one word movie titles as you could. Ooh, that's fun.

And I just like, because when the time, when you, when there's time pressure. You never know what your brain's going to access. I've never seen Tootzie. I don't know anything about Tootsie. I think it's Dustin Hoffman. Yes, that's right. But yes, it's funny. Annie.

Annie. You're doing great so far. Tutsi, Annie, up. Up. That's a good one. That's a good one. Secret Hitler is another fun game. Okay, not another fun movie.

A lot of fun movie I've played before. And we have a game. Secret Hitler. Yeah, it's fun. We have a game called throw, throw burrito. And you throw burritos at each other. That's a bit of fun. That's just a food fight?

Yeah. Or it's a board game. It's a board game. Okay. Yeah. I'm like, that's a waste of burritos. Not the way I do it. I catch you on my mouth.

Oh, yeah. That's actually quite efficient. Trivia, but big show. I love trivia sort of stuff. I like Cludo. Cludeau's fun. I haven't played that in a long time. No, me either.

What's the movie in the last of a while? Is it a movie? Pretty fun. It's called Clue though, I think. Yeah, because Americans call Cludo Clue. Yeah. Which makes more sense than Cludeau. What the fuck is that?

Cludeau was the first name. I think it was some sort of playing words or something. Okay. Why is called Cluedo. A play on Clue and Ludo, the Latin word for I Play. Okay. Okay, that's a pretty highfalutin name. Yeah, it's not really that.

Well, how can we make this board game more highfalutin? How do we work in some Latin into this board game now? Now we're talking. I think that was the original name and the Americans are like, let's call it something of people understand. Which is probably reasonable. Yes, I think so. So yeah, great question.

Do love games. Let's organize or not sometime, Madeline. Yeah, come over. And no parents allowed. Just the kids at this one. Let's play Murder in the Dark. Thank you, Madeline. That was her first.

In fact, quite a question. Welcome aboard. Welcome. Next one comes from a long-time Sydney Shine burger. Brian Colella. Brian. Brian's one of the greats. Previous primates guests, Brian.

One of the OJs, Brian. Found out recently. What did you tell us recently? His dad was an Olympian swimmer? Oh my God. Did we tell us? about that? Swimmer?

Or something? I think maybe it was even involved. Yeah, in Olympics that we... Yes. Talked about. I think it was a swimmer. I think you're right. Amazing.

So cool. So cool. And Brian Colella's title is, second banana to the second banana to the second banana to the second banana to the second banana to the second banana to the second banana to Matt. Open bracket and et cetera, close bracket to the second banana to Matt. That's nice. That's an important. Mortonroll.

God, it is. And it's been sitting there absolutely gaping. Yes. Takes a village to support a Matt. Takes a Colella. Takes a Colella. Takes a whole bunch of bananas. Oh my God.

This is a bit cheeky from Brian, but he's given us both a fact and a suggestion. Oh, I don't know if I can allow that. Okay. I don't care that you've supported us for many years, Brian, and you're a really lovely person. Yeah, one of the original supporters. Yeah.

Suggested the Vegemite episode over dinner. I had dinner with. Brian and I was doing a live episode coming up and he said, you thought about Vegemite. I said, Brian, when I look into those eyes, I can only think about Vegemine. He had a beautiful. Black eyes. He'd just been in a street fight.

Yeasty eyes. Anyway, I'll read the first one out and if you like it and allow it, we'll read the suggestion. But the fact is, I love you, heart emoji. Do you want the suggestion? Maybe. Okay, I'll listen to the suggestion, but I'll listen to the suggestion, I don't have to take it. Keep doing what you're doing.

Brian, how dare you? How dare you implore me to stay stagnant? Why don't you encourage me to grow, Brian, to change, to evolve, to be? Yeah. Brian. Brian, Collella's favourite band status quo. Yeah. That's so good.

Never know which way it'll be. In my brain, I'm like, that sucks. And then just like, and then there's a little. laugh and it's like you're the emperor with the thumb. That was so shit. Oh, fair enough. Good. Oh my God, I feel awesome about myself.

You've got a lot of power, Bob. We're not responsibly. Thank you. Thank you so much, Brian. Thank you, Brian. We love you. We love you too. And keep doing what you're doing.

Yeah. How does that feel, Brian? Yeah. Julian Wren, aka title sold separately. Love that. Is asking a question writing, at the time of writing this, the Barbie movie is taking over the world. Yes. If they made a Barbie or Ken or action figure of you, what accessories would come included in the box?

And we always... Can I just say, that is a fucking phenomenal question. That is so good. And at the time of recording Barbie has only been out for like a week or so, it is... Taken the world by storm. And there's also been a TikTok trend of people, particularly women, talking about their ken, like talking about their partners as if he is a ken and what he comes with and what his job is and stuff. It's pretty funny.

Honestly, I think this is what's wrong with women. And I can say this is a feminist. Men aren't toys. Men aren't possessions. We are human beings. Yeah. Yeah, you should see the movie. Um, then I think it'll make, I think you'll like it.

Mm. As a feminist, probably. Um, okay. As a cuck, sure. What would Matt come with? Probably a little, a little bottle of soy milk. Thank you. Snowflake.

You'd have a hat. Yes, a hat. A hat, a little bottle of soy milk. Um, um, uh, you'd be wearing like a cool band t-shirt. Yeah. Um, you need another accessory. Hat, soy milk. I mean, clothes and a drink.

I'm actually a pretty wild character. Okay, so what else do you like? No, I was being self-depicating there. I'm aware. Okay. What else do I like? What else do you do? A footy?

Yeah, you can have a little footy. That's cute. Something to play with. That's nice. Yeah, I really need to go out and get some interests. No, you've got plenty. A beer? You can have a beer and a soy milk.

That's crazy. Well, I mean, is that that far off? You could have a slab. Oh, yeah. What about a slab of beer? beer and a footie. Slap of kajoo crush. Okay.

And then you're like a fun guy heading for a barbecue. You got the footie already? And I don't need everyone to know that, but I will tell them. I am a fun guy. Okay. You will say that. And people will believe it. That's the difference.

Yeah, yeah. Me, Barbie Jess, would come with probably a little dog. She'd have a little French bulldog. Yep. And like the lead and stuff to walk the dog. And maybe like the. the Mattels misunderstood your order and they also give you like a just a barbecue with some tongs because you love to cook.

Love to cook. You love to cook. Could I also have like a little camera, like a little Polaroid camera or something? What about a little box brownie? That's cool. What about if it was like a tiny little Barbie sized Polaroid camera but it actually worked and you could print out teeny tiny photos? That would be incredible.

That would be so cute. Can you do, I don't know if you're taking requests, but can you do the history of the Kodak or something one time. Hoof. Or just of photography. I've got to say, I think that would be quite boring. Oh, okay.

I think it is, there's some interesting stuff. I only know because in a Bill Bryson book, he goes into it a little bit. Sorry, I fell asleep for a second there. I think that's my answer. A little camera and a dog.

Julian answers the question. We always ask the question, writers to answer the question, saying, my doll would probably come with an ice coffee in hand and two Dalmatian toys with real shedding action. Ooh, that's fun.

You could, what, really make a mess. Your Valcrow back on and then, that's great stuff. That is good. Julian, fantastic. Julian, I don't think you and I are far off. I think, like, if, yeah,

I think maybe add an ice latte to mine too, and then that's, that's Jess Perkins right there. You're a bloody latte, sipparachia. I got some cameras. Uh-huh. Thank you, Julian. And last one this week comes from Jessica English, okay, vice president of random hyperfocus obsessions.

And Jessica's question is I relate hard to that, yes Oh Jessica writes Hello our lovely overlords of grim funny and boring facts Oh the boring boys not here Thank God we've had fun today Grimmie What was we called it before

Fum Fumbrim Grim from No that was on a different podcast We recorded I think that was on who knew it we record We talked about fun grim Anyway it doesn't matter Jessica goes on to say

As someone with ADHD I developed some strange obsessions at times and become a near expert in them before abandoning them completely for a new obsession. That sounds like, I mean, it's different of course, but it does sound a bit like being on this show where an expert on a different topic every week. And then forget all about it.

Is there something that you are or have been particularly obsessed with or about lately, TV show, book, hobby, oh man. Oh, my entire life. Yeah. I've gone, yeah, I have quite, what I've always said, and it probably is a similar kind of ADHD thing

that I've always said I have a somewhat obsessive personality where I'll get really into something for a while and then just it completely falls apart. It's been book series, movies, TV shows, activities. It's more likely that I'll get really lost in a world of something like a book series or a TV show. But sometimes it is, I'm going to do this activity. I'm going to teach myself how to do this.

But then I also am a perfectionist And if I'm not good at something straight away, I crack the shits Right So that's fun Yeah, it is If I get lucky and I Hyperfocus on something that I have a natural ability in Or I pick up quickly, then we're okay

But if not Like a Yatzy phone game Exactly right, if I'd be so good at that So I would get obsessed with it I feel like maybe my most recent one Or And I've sort of I've just dropped out of it but for a few months, Batman, like Gotham and Penny, whatever that, Pennyworth.

And I can't remember. I couldn't tell you the character's names now, but there was a time where I'm like, all those shows. And then I went back and I watched all the Chris Nolan Batman's and I watched the new, and the old 80s and 90s ones. Oh, wow, yeah. You went all the way. And I've just read and listened to an audio book about the history of Marvel and DC. That's cool.

I think I've probably, I'm coming to the point. I'm like, oh, I think. I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to. Yep. You sort of, you fear yourself slipping out of it. Yeah. I didn't give me any examples there.

I got really into Hunger Games when I first read that. And then the movies came out and I got into those again. Pitch perfect, funnily enough. The first one I was like very into. Is that Rebel Wilson? Yeah. So I saw that like three times at the cinemas. I thought it was so good.

It's fine. Okay. I don't think I've seen it. The first one's fun. Then they made a second and a third and they got progressively worse, but the first one's a bit of fun. Who's the main actor in it? Anna Kendrick.

Anna Kendrick, she's great. She's great. Yeah. As is our rebel. God, our rebel. Yeah, I get very, I do get, TV shows I get really, I get very lost in and quite obsessed with them and then never watch them again.

Yeah, I do that a lot. I can relate real hard to that. Well, Jessica's, also answered the question, which is great. Writing, my current obsessions include planning for a Disney world trip by watching way too many YouTube videos and listening to podcasts and the Australian Kids Show Bluey, which I watch over and over. Bonus question, if you have watched Bluey, I have seen any Blue?

Bits and pieces, yeah. Custard, I don't know if you'll know this, Jessica, because I'm guessing just from the way you said, the Australian Kid Show, you're not from Australia, but maybe you are. But anyway, the dad, bluey dad, was the singer from a band I used to, I still love called Custard. And it's so, it's just real fun to hear him. It's just a fun show. It's a kid show, but it feels like it could be.

Beautiful show. An anybody show. And maybe it is. But says, do you have a favorite episode or character? Mine's Muffin. I couldn't tell you any of the names, but I could, I could hum the song. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do bingo. Bingo is a great name.

Bingo's really cute. No, I don't think I could tell you any of the names or episodes. I can't really remember any episodes, but I'll remember it being nice. It's a nice show. It's a nice show. But I think, did you suggest one? I'll watch whatever you just said. I'll watch whatever you just said.

A watch muffin. I don't know if that's probably the character though. Thank you so much, Jessica, Julian, Brian and Madeline. The next thing we like to do is I think a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the topic at hand. Yeah, I was thinking what, we're going to say a minor inconvenience they sold with explosives. Oh, yeah, great. I don't think a whale on a beach is a minor inconvenience,

But these inconveniences are minor. Yep. And there are other solutions, but they're going straight for explosives. Because we normally do three each with Dave. What if I do the first five? You do the last four. But on mine, you have to do the inconvenience. And for yours, I'll do it.

Okay. All right. Well, first off, I'd love to thank from North Epping in New South Wales here in Australia. Zoe. Locked themselves out. Oh, yeah. Blot the door. Absolutely.

They're like, oh, is this too much, not enough? Yeah. Blows the whole front of the house off. Yep. But is back inside. They're in, are they? Back inside, back in bed. And they were knackered.

So tucked up nicely, Zoe. Love that. I'd also love to thank from Taunton in, I reckon, Somersat in Great Britain. It's Emily Sandley. Locked out of the car. Oh, yeah. Blot the car. I was only meant to blow the bloody doors off, which I did.

But also. I think you'll say a bit of a theme emerging. No, I won't make them all locking yourself out of something. Thank you very much. Emily. The next one from McKay in Queensland here in Australia is Laura Fraser. Searching through, so Laura's at work, right? Yes.

Searching for an email from a particular colleague. Okay. Cannot for the life of her find it. Knows that colleague sent it. Yeah. Can't find it. It's that outlook thing where you're searching and it's not finding what you're looking for. Blow up the computer.

Oh, man. That feels right. So I thought you said minor inconveniences. That one feels appropriate. I was like, how is finding an email, not a minor in commuter? Yeah, that does feel right. That's what you want to do when your computer's bloody playing up. Writing this report, I had a similar feeling of wanting to blub the computer because

there was this quote from a scientist, but I had about 18 tabs open with different articles. And I couldn't find it. Oh. I couldn't find it. I couldn't quite remember which one it was. I'm like doing word searches on every page going, I'm sure it had the word neighborhood in it. But I just could. Anyway, it was very frustrating.

Did you end up finding it? No. That is infuriating. I ended up saying I read somewhere where I would normally like to say who said it. But anyway. That is infuriating. I'm sorry that happened. But thank you so much, Laura.

The next person, address unknown. Oh. Return to send a can only shoot. from deep within the fortress of the moles. But thank you very much, Beth. Beth was heading home from work, got to the train station just as the train pulled out. Like, just missed it.

Next one comes in like 20 minutes, an annoying amount of time to wait. Blow at the train station. Blah up the train station. Has become a domestic terrorist, but... Worth it. Got home faster. Like, in court and in the court of public approval.

Yeah. Everyone understood. Everyone gets it. They're like, we get it. We get it. Trains, huh? Everyone else waiting, everybody else who'd just run, trying to make the train and just missed it was like,

I back Beth. That was the right thing to do. I love the name, Beth. Me too. One of my faves. From, just in case, Beth from address unknown, her email's surname, Sazu P.

Okay. Just in case she doesn't put the surname in there on purpose. But also is like, I wonder if that was me. Yeah, Beth P. Beth P. That narrows it. down. The final one for me from Preston here in Victoria, Australia, in Melbourne.

It's Tia Evans. Tia, another great name. These are Zoe, Emily, Laura, Beth and Tia are five of the top names. So good. Good luck keeping up with that in your half. Geez, Louise. I'll try, but I'm having a look and they're all dog shit names. And here's what happened to Tia, right?

Tia made a cup of tea. phone rang, went and grabbed that, got stuck on the bloody blower with mum, you know, and she's doing that thing where she's like, oh, so your uncle Rod texted me the other day and you said, and you're like, I don't care. And you're like, yeah, so you remember Rod, not really. Yeah. Oh, you remember Denise? Yes, yeah.

No, Denise was the one who went to school with Rihanna. You remember Rihanna with the red hair? Yeah, sure. We used to play Jim Rummy together. Yeah, no, I remember. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you do remember. I'm going to give you eight more facts about Rihanna.

So, Mum's done that. Going on for a bit long. By the time, Tia's finally got Mum off the phone. Everything's fine, by the way. Mum was just calling for a chinwag just to check in. Which is nice. Which is lovely. And nice to remember that it's a nice thing.

Exactly right. And moms aren't around forever. No. And you'll miss it when mum's dead and gone. This is certainly not for me. This is for everyone else. But Tia gets backed. This cup of tea that Tia was really looking forward to.

And it's gone cold. Teah's like, fuck. Could make another tea, but that feels wasteful of the water, of the tea bag, etc. I'll just put tiny little bit of explosives in there, heat it up a little bit. Okay. Does that? Delish. Just right.

Absolutely nailed it. Gets on with their day. Right, like a tiny little explosion. Tiny explosion. Just enough to generate some heat. Heat it up. Well done to you. Yeah.

That's McGiva level. Absolutely nailed the amount of explosives. It was the perfect. It was like, I can drink it right now, but it's hot. Yes. You know how sometimes you, you know, make a cup of tea, it's too hot for a while. You've got to let it sit and then you take a sip you're like, yes, this is just right. That's where tear got it to. Yes. So good. So

good. I'll thank some people now as well. That'd be great for good. And good. And good luck because I just had some absolute rippers there. Yeah. I would love to thank from Emsworth in Great Britain, Danielle and Adam Osborne. Oh, great names. Well, Danielle and Adam Osborne were doing a bit of work in their garden. They had to pull out this tree that was taking up big space because they wanted to build a Pagola. Yep. But the route was in so deep, they couldn't get it out. So they ended up dynamiting it out.

And bonus, new pool. Oh, that is great. Pagola and a pool. Yeah. It's like a floating Pagola. And before that, they didn't think they had space. They didn't have either of those. Yeah.

Now they have both. Oh, and living in Msworth in Great Britain, you'll get so much use out of a pool. I imagine so. Having watched the cricket last month, Mm-hmm. What, that doesn't rain in summer there, that's for sure. That's for sure. I, we, I hassled my parents so much wanting a pool going up.

And now I think, and they were always like, no, we won't use it. Yeah. And in Melbourne, you're right. Yeah. You won't. You'll use it twice and then you've got to look after it the rest of the year. Go to a friend's house with a pool. Yeah, go to the pool.

If you're lucky, but probably more likely, go to the pool. Go to the beach. It takes up the whole backyard. But if you are flying in Queensland or Northern New South, Wales and you're flying over suburb, every backyard has a pool and you go, fair enough, you're going to use that. I got a mate, old schoolmates is a pill builder. He's a pool builder.

Yes. And he built one for my uncle. So now there's, I'll live nowhere near there, but Christmas is our pool. There is a pool. Which is when it is hot. And that's, that's the only pool I would ever swim in. But it must be a nightmare to look after. Yes.

Man, I took a long way around I should have just said my uncle has a pool I made so I did the thing I did the thing we're just talking about It's happening You're old I would also have to thank from Kilworth in Cork in Ireland

Megan Oh Megan Cork Great neck of the woods Megan I forgot what we're doing here Megan actually unfortunately

was stuck in a cave, took shelter there down searching in the Arctic Circle. Wow. It was on an expedition. And, uh, sook shelter. Is that like,

seek, sort shelter? And got it in a cave. Yeah. But a huge storm came down and she was snowed in. Luckily, uh, she had a lazy half ton of dynamite in a bag.

And she was actually like, uh, just getting sick of carrying this around. Half a ton. So, you know, after a while, that is, that feels very heavy. Yeah. So, ended up using that and blew her way out of it. Blew her way to freedom.

Yeah, wow. That's great, Megan. Must have felt so satisfying. And, yeah, it just worked. It was just like water relief. Yeah, absolutely. Get it all out. And then you don't, you're not carrying that huge load anymore.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. So good to hear that you're safe. And you made it. You made it to your destination. Yeah. I would also love to thank from Louisville. K.Y's got to be Kentucky, right?

Oh, yeah. And that's Louisville. Yeah. I would love to thank Chris Sexton. Oh, Chris Sexton. Chris Sexton, very quite different to Megan. Yeah. Interesting was holidaying on a beach paradise.

Gorgeous. The Witt Sundays. Oh, beautiful part of the world. And Chris is. nephew was there. It was a full of family holiday. Yeah, you are doing it. You are getting old. His nephew, Brandon, he's... Brandon, he was, he did the classic thing of bearing himself up to the head,

but they couldn't get him out and the high tide was coming in. So Chris was like, oh, what do I do? What I do? Luckily, I've got half a ton of dynamite. So he exploded. What was his name, Jaden? Brandon. Brandon out of the sand and made a beautiful little rock pool. And Brandon is recovering. They're saying Brandon's going to pull through, which is great news.

That's great for Brandon and great use of dynamite for Chris. Yes. And finally, I would love to thank from Cardiff in Wales, Michael Hughes. Michael Hughes. Now, what Michael Hughes was doing was he was attempting. to slay a dragon to save a princess. But as we know, in the post-Barby era, I assume, princesses don't need saving.

So he got there and she'd already emancipated herself. And she was like, honestly, it's quite patronizing. Yeah, so you didn't need to do that. Yeah. So what he did was, he's like, oh, I feel awful. Yep. I don't know what to do here. And he said, you know what?

I'm just going to blow up the dragon. that'll make me feel better. Yep. And, you know, the dragon looks to be injured. And this is the most humane way of doing it. Yeah. So he put about half a ton of dynamite next to the dragon's blowhole, which is its mouth. Yeah.

And that's where he thought the head might be around that area. And he just blew that fucking head right off. So what I'm easy? He got it done. Yeah. You made yourself feel better. Sometimes sometimes we're going to blow something up. Yeah.

To cheer yourself. up. That's right. Thank you so much to Michael, Chris Meagan, Danielle, Adam, Tia, Beth, Laura, Emily and Zoe. You're all fantastic people. And you've all, you've blown a hole in my heart. Yep. And the last thing we need to do, Bob, is welcome to people in the Tripitch Club. Do you want to explain how this works? Absolutely. So what this is is a, an exclusive club for people who have supported us on patreon.com slash dugon pod for three consecutive years. at the shadow level above. And what it is is we welcome you in. There's food, there's snacks. Dave's away, so I actually booked a band this time. Oh, cool. As well, I booked Whale.

Ah. They're from, hang on Sweden. Oh. They're a pop outfit formed in 1986 in Sweden. And they'll be playing all their big hits like Hobo Humping Slope Babe. Say that again. Hobo hump and slowbo babe. Okay.

Or slobo babe. I think, yeah, the translation from Sweden into English, you lose a bit of the poetry of it. Yeah, I don't feel comfortable doing a Swedish accent. Four big speakers, another one of theirs. Kicking. But definitely, hobo hump and slobo babe. So that will be there.

I always, I'm behind the bar, and I'm serving whale, which is really ethically. not go. Oh, not it? You're not ethically sourcing your whale? Oh, I don't know if there's a way to ethically source whale. Is there? Isn't it bad to eat? Well, I mean, if the people of Perth are already exploding the whale, I think then it's at, you know, they're trying to get rid of the whale. Okay, so I'm, when whales are being exploded, I'm out there with a big old tub, big bucket type thing. Just catching liquid whale. Just capturing, and I'm then I'm using that for a beautiful digger station. And then you sort between the solids of the whale and the liquids of the whale. The liquids

probably become your drinks. That's right. And the soul has become your foods. Yeah. And you're welcome. You're wet and your dries. And Matt, you usually, you're at the door. You lift the velvet rope.

You welcome people in. Yes. Dave usually hypes them up. How about I give you a break from reading these terrible names? Terrible names. Terrible. Because I know it's so hard for you to do. The hardest part of this is reading the names.

That's right. Dave does the easy bit, which is. Hyping them up. Yeah, with dog shit wordplay Yeah So I'll read them for you It's hard because he's so good at wordplay And you can hype them

Does that sound okay? Yeah, I'd love to hype some people Okay, great Well first, there's only a couple Joining us this week Into the Tripitch Club And we would love to just spend some time welcoming them from Fentry Gully

In Victoria, Kerry to me Carrie to me You are so beautiful to me Can't you see Can't you see? Thank you so much and welcome into the club. Beautiful.

And from Ingleburn in New South Wales, it's Don's Ronald Vargas. Don's not, that's not it. Ronald Vargas. Engelburn. You're from Ingleburn? Well, I want to Engelbert Humper dick you. And by that I mean croon you, a beautiful song,

one of Enkelbert songs. I can't think of any of them. Nah. But it's like something like, no, he's English. a little man you're beautiful Englebert Humperdink What's one of his big ones?

A man without love Can't take my eyes off you Quando, Coondo, Coondo, Coando Tell me Cuando, Coando Dono Oh, that's nice Don's Ronald of Varagis

Oh, that's beautiful Tell me Don's Ronald you more That's really nice Don's Ronald Don's Ronald I think we can all agree That was really nice.

Okay, Don's, I've never actually opened myself up to be that nice before. And I feel vulnerable, so I hope you appreciated it. That was really, really nice. That was actually the nicest thing I've ever done. Thank you so much for yourselves at home. Don's Ronald and Kerry. And then that brings us to, that's everything we have to do admin-wise. Just finally, we'd love to-

I don't think of it as admin, by the way. I do. It is an absolute chore. Did not get that sentence out very cleanly. Oh, I think of that. I think of it as not only my duty but my honour. Okay. And I would just like to remind people that we love them,

that they can suggest a topic at do go onpod.com, which is our website. You can find us at do go on pod on all social media. If Dave's listening, we hope you're okay. I don't. Please get in touch. Dave, we're sorry for whatever we did. Yes, you've got to talk to us.

Stop leaving. Yeah. Stop fleeing the country. You're doing it quite a lot. It's too much. People are talking. What is he up to? What do you think you are, a 21-year-old backpacker on a gap year?

Come on. At your age. You're an old man now. Stay at home all the time. Please. Where we can see you. Want to keep our eyes on you. Give me a key to your house.

You're like having a touch. I want to hold you so much. Um, yeah. And as we always say, do you go on. What do we always say? I don't know. Later's. Bye.

Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy.

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