Two In The Think Tank - 431 - The Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

This week we look at the fascinating life of 'The Mother of Forensic Science' Frances Glessner Lee, and her revolutionary Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:52 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.britannica.com/biography/George-M-Pullman#ref323216  https://www.glessnerhouse.org/glessner-family https://slate.com/technology/2014/06/nutshell-dioramas-of-death-frances-glessner-lee-forensic-science-and-training-crime-scene-investigators.htmlhttps://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-nutshell-studies/https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2005/09/frances-glessner-lee-html  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at doogleonpod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right.

I'm doing shows with Sarenjay Manar who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattsduickcomedy.com. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders?

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ACAST powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered Nazi's in Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes, all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of Cur curious Canadian history every other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts.

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. Hello and welcome to another episode of Duga One. My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, David. Hey, Dave. You know what they say about us? Jess Perkins, perky by nature. Yes.

Matt Stewart likes to eat stew sometimes. Yeah, they do say that. Wow. Yeah, did you know what they said that? Dave Warnocky loves to start wars. Yeah, he's a war monger from Germany. Yeah, that's right. That's half true. You're from Germany? that loves to start wars. Yeah, he's a war monger from Germany. Yeah, that's right.

That's half true. You're from Germany? No, I'm not. You're a war monger. OK, every day I learn more and more about you into our ninth year now. Is that right? 10th year.

Fuck, I don't know. Dave's more about he doesn't start like, you know, war wars, but he does little sort of intersocial group. Oh yeah. He'll do little just did you hear what they said? I did a lot of whispering behind my hand. Yeah absolutely. Hey the the movie Bride Wars was actually inspired by Dave. He split up a few weddings. Initially it was called Bride Warner Keys. Yeah. They were like let's show them that. Yeah. Yeah. Another Hollywood edit. Anyway, here we are.

Um, I would love if you don't mind to explain how this show works. Me? Me. Oh, but we have to. Someone's volunteering wants for once to, to explain. I can do it. Yeah. Great.

Do you ever have a crack? I would love you to. Okay. Um, oh God. Okay. Now I'm sweating. Um, all right. Okay.

So like, um, okay. Whatever. So there's a three of us. Um, that like, okay. So there's three of us. That's Dave over there, he's the cute one. That's Matt over there. He's the sassy one. And I'm Jess, I'm the girl. And that's my only personality trait.

And we take it in turns, researching topics, usually suggested by our listeners. We go away to our own separate homes, we research, we write up a report, we bring it back to the other two two who don't know what it is and we listen politely. It's Dave's turn this week we couldn't be happier. Yeah he's the best in the biz the biz being out of the three of us it hurts every time but he is the best and we always got to talk with a question. I don't I used to sit back and say yeah he's the best but don't anymore. Now I think we're all the best in our own ways. I'm the best at being a girl.

I think you're even more than that, Jess, but I would say that I am a feminist. Don't push me. Just let me be. Okay. Well, the listeners can't see that I was pushing you, so you've really put me in it now. We start with a question, Drove. My question is, who are you? Jess Perkins!

Oh, yeah. I'm going to have to pay that. By the who? Was the theme song? CSI. Miami. For what long running TV show I have heard, it is CSI, the original one, Matt.

You're doing an episode about CSI. Yes, crime scene investigation. We had 15 glorious seasons and four incredible crossovers. I don't understand. Each more fantastic than the last. But I wager that the CSI cinematic universe, the CSICU, would never have existed if not for today's topic, which is Francis Glesna Lee, the mother of forensic science. Whoa. Geez, that would have been a tough birth. Pushing out forensic science. Whoa. Gee, that would have been a tough birth.

Pushing out forensic science. Could I argue that I should? I hope it was a C-section. I can't tell you that much. Yeah, bloody hell. Is that the C-sense, Francesca? I was hoping that we could argue that I deserve a point there because I did answer that question accurately.

Who are you? Jess Perkin. Honestly, if you keep me score at home, which you know at least one person is. Bob. Bob. Is are you? Just per... Honestly, if you're keeping score at home, which you know at least one person is Bob. Is it Bob? I think it's Bob. Bob. We just get an email twice a year from Bob with an update.

So I think it's Bob. I think it's Bob. Bob. If you can hear me right now, give me a sign if it is Bob. OK, I saw a little flutter. Yeah, a little dust flooded. I think that was Bob. Wasn. I saw a little flutter. Yeah. A little dust flooded. I think that was Bob. Wasn't the aircon. That's for sure.

Bob's powerful. Bob's speaking through dust. That's nice. So yeah, I get a point for that. I pay you both a point for that. Because I am Jess Perkins. Bob, that's just a point for me. Let's take it seriously.

But have we heard of Francis Glyzneli? Of course. You just mentioned them. Yes, I hadn't before. But. No, I have not either. Beautiful name. Glyzsen. You know what? I was told years ago, women don't before. No, I have not either. Beautiful name, Glycen.

You know what I was told years ago, women don't sweat. They glisten. And I think maybe that is going to come up in this report. Is that where it comes from? Yeah. Very sweaty woman. Glyceny. I'm glistening.

A woman trying to rebrand sweat. It's not sweat, it's glitter. I'm sparkling. This topic has been suggested by a few people. Max Edmonds from Bristol, Amy Schaumburg from Chawella, Washington. My goodness. And Hunter Hanson from Dallas, Texas. HH. Cool. Yeah, thank you so much. Let me tell you about Francis Gleznalee who was born in Chicago.

The Windy City. The Windy City. Thank you so much. He waits, he knows. Of course, on March 25, 1878, now she was born into a very, very wealthy family. Her father formed International Harvester, which was a manufacturer of agricultural and construction equipment, now known as Navistar International Corporation. It became the fourth largest corporation in the country. Made the big four. Big four. So I found me very wealthy.

When you said he formed international harvest, I was singing a supergroup. That's so good. He was on keys. Yeah. Now, you know, you're wealthy when your house is so big and historic that one day it is turned into a national historic landmark and museum, which the John J. Glezner house has been.

Wow. Glezner house was where our topic Francis Glezner Lee was brought up. It was designed by one of America's most famous architects, Henry Hobson Richardson. And his style is known as the super catchy Richard Sonian Romanesque. Beautiful. And so their home has been turned into like a museum. Yeah, that'd be really annoying for my neighbors because I live in an apartment building. And so it's like people charging admission to get into that apartment.

But also imagine how tired you'd have to keep it. I'm assuming you're still living there. Absolutely. Just people having a look at my house. It's a living museum. Look, there she is. I'll just make it a cuppa. Yeah, this is my kitchen. This is a sink. Yep. Great. That at my house. It's a living museum. Look, there she is. I'm just making a cuppa. Yeah, this is my kitchen.

This is a sink. Yep. Great. That's my dog. He is very distressed with all the people coming in and going. The landlord's just trying to get a new tenant in, and you're like in denial. Oh, you've got a few more people who want to see the museum.

Always nice to meet some fans. Come on in. Cash only, please. Thank you. I will be accepting questions. Dave, I think I just heard that the name is what is it? Gleznor. Gleznor.

Okay. It's it's a quite a margin away from Glyson, which I thought it was. So what I said before, don't worry about it. Discount that from the record. Happy to do that for you. So the Gleznor residence, which is this massive place was Richardson's. That's to do that for you. Thank you. So the Glesda residence, which is this massive place, was Richardson's. That's the guy that is a.

The architect. Richardsonian. Henry Thompson Richardson's last work. He died three weeks after its completion at the age of 48. And it does feel a bit like the building killed him. But in fact, it was kidney disease. Oh, OK. That he got from the building.

I was looking at it because I was like, did something happen with this building? But no, apparently he died very young, sadly because of that. Wow. His Wikipedia page writes, despite an enormous income for an architect of his day, his quote, reckless disregard for financial order meant that he died deeply in debt, leaving little to his widow and six children. Shit. So he just spent it up whilst he was around.

You can't take it with you. Can't take it with you, but you probably should leave some for your kids. Leave some for the kids. Really, there's some, but you know, sounds like you left some debt for them. Oh, that's nice. That's something to remember him by. Yeah, like a burden. Dad, you can't take your debt with you.

And he was like, I know. Yeah, this is awesome. The John Jay Glesner House was built in a very well to do neighborhood, full of newly minted industrialists. The house's own website. Imagine your house is a website. It writes following the great chicken. I know I'm easily impressed.

Oh, what is going on? Imagine anyone can have a website about anything. It's really easy. Thanks to our sponsors at Squarespace. Yeah, that's right. And we've set up jessesapartment.com. This is what it says on the website. Following the Great Chicago Fire, a six block section of Prairie Avenue served as the residence of many of Chicago's elite families, including

nearly 90 mansions that earned it the name The Sunny Street that held the Sifted Few. Oh my God, that's so catchy. That's beautiful. The sunny street that held the sifted few. Is that one of the worst sentences I've ever heard? I don't understand any of it. And yet proving you can put anything on your own website. Cased in granite, the house is like a fortress or a castle,

and the design was very different from other houses on the elite prairie avenue and not everyone liked it. This interview feels like it comes from a very old episode of Grand Designs where the neighbors are always pissed off about whatever they're building. Railroad sleeping car CEO George Pullman who lived across the street in a traditional second empire mansion said, I don't know what I've ever done to have that thing staring me in the face every time I go out of my door. Paulman, that's a, he's big time. Big time. I don't know if you remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about one of the guys involved in the Lake George monster.

Oh yeah. He sold his luxurious sleeping car to Pullman. Oh, there you go. Wow. So he says, I don't know what I did to deserve to do that. I didn't know what he did. George Pullman was a piece of shit. Okay.

I was like, I'm going to look into this guy. Oh my God. Struggling to maintain profitability during an 1894 downturn in manufacturing demand, Pullman decided to halve wages and required workers to spend long hours at the plant, but did not lower prices of rents and goods in his company town. Britannica writes, for those who lived in the town, wages beyond rent had been barely enough to live on even in prosperous times. Now there was hardly anything left afterward.

So these oppressive economic conditions ultimately led to the Pullman strike, which was very influential on American labor laws as basically a large section of the country's transit, the trans completely ground to a halt. Yeah. Because they all said, I'm not working for you right now. Pullman gained presidential support from Grover Cleveland for the use of federal military troops which left 30 strikers dead in the violent suppression of workers to end the strike Shit what a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how we thought that would help I mean, I know how we thought it would help, but he just didn't see his workers as humans

Yes, exactly wild and when he died if I get it. I don't see you guys as humans. Do you see us as your workers? Yeah. There's a hierarchy at Dooga One. I know technically on all the official paperwork, we're all co-directors, but I think we know who's really running the show. Your 33.33% is a little bit bigger than our 33.33%. That's right.

So when this guy died a few years later, having returned his business to thriving prosperity, he remained exceedingly rich. His Wikipedia writes, he had fears that some of his former employees or other labor supporters might try to dig up his body. So his family arranged for his remains to be placed in a lead lined mahogany coffin, which was then sealed inside a block of concrete. At the cemetery, a large pit had been dug at the family plot. At its base and walls were 18 inches of reinforced concrete. The coffin was lowered and covered with asphalt and tar paper. More concrete was poured on top, followed by a layer of steel rails bolted together at right angles and another layer of concrete. The entire burial process took two days.

Dave, this is wild. You know that that has come up on an episode recently as well in block. Do you remember that Lincoln's body ended up getting better? Yes, he was burning concrete. Because he got, because they were copying a guy who was worried about his body being dug up. Is this him? That's him.

No! In that world. That's him. No. No. In that world. That's wild. I'll try not to stop you every couple of minutes from going, oh, Pullman's, he's related. I didn't know he was an asshole until now. But those, yeah, those are two races. That is funny.

Those were two reasons from the last couple of months. Yeah. That never tweaked for me. I'm sorry. So I do remember that Lincoln, you know, they decided, let's never let this happen again. Yeah. Let's seal him in. I forgot that. Like copied Pullman.

But this guy's so worried about it because he knows he's been such a prick. Yeah, he knows. It's not even like that. It's so funny, isn't it? It's so funny. I've been such an asshole. They're going to do weird shit to my body. Also, you're dead. Yeah. Who cares? It's not like.

Cover yourself in concrete. I'm sorry for what I did it's like I know I did real bad stuff so just dip me in a lot of people are really mad at me so let's make sure they cannot get to my body I feel like you know let them have me I was rough to them I'll be dead if it makes them feel better let them chop me up or something I feel like if you really want to avoid it just go cremationation. Yeah. Sorry guys. Surely that was around. All right. We've been cremating for ages. Yeah. Haven't we? Some people bull, I think there's different religious beliefs back when they didn't think

that was the way to go. But yeah, are you able to get to heaven if you're covered in 38 meters of concrete? Yeah. How's your soul getting out? It's difficult to get out. Yeah, that's true. So in life, I'm pleased to say he had to look at a giant house across the street that he hated. So, at least there was some suffering. Yeah, what a detour we just went on. That was fun.

Yeah. So, the Glesner house, it's this massive thing. It had three bedrooms for family use, which sounds quite modest, but it also had two for guests and eight for servants. So, 13 bedrooms in total. It's quite a big house. Oh, that's unlucky. Oh, yeah. What do you think about that? It's quite a big house. Oh, that's unlucky.

Oh yeah, what do you think about that? It's nice that the servants get their own rooms. I imagine they're all luxury rooms. And not just like, I don't know, just like fucking crawl up on a little bang and a buffer thing of towels. A little, sorry, what? Well, a little blower towel.

A little bubble of towel. I was having somebody else take a picture. I was like, oh no. I love all the time. We're suddenly joined by a southern girl. My back's quite wet. Would you be able to send in a couple of fresh towels? My back's quite wet.

Why did you back wet? I'm sweaty down there. I'm sweaty down in the town. I'm walking through this text and song. I'm walking through this Texan song. A little old me. Is that where Texas is where the southern bells are from? I think it's a bunch of... Yeah, probably all across the town.

I was trying to say, parl of tales. I always pictured them further. I don't know where I picture. I think they have the word Tennessee. He can say almost anything. He's like, oh, Northern Scotland. You can be Southern for anywhere. It's really a state of mind. They move.

They travel these battles. It's quite wealthy, some of them. Frances Gleznerly, who is the main topic, we'll get to her in a minute, but her father, John, is the very, very rich guy, is described by the family website. As imagine, your house has a website. Yeah. A prolific writer producing many short pieces

relating family history, including a tribute to his wife after her death, as well as more obscure topics like potatoes and snakes. Sure, you gotta cover all bases. Yeah. I couldn't believe that was worth noting. I'm interested in potatoes. And snakes.

Yeah. Yeah, snakes to a lesser degree. But do you feel like, like, is a story about, is potato an obscure topic? I guess back then maybe. Maybe. But they weren't, like, they're an American vegetable as well. So not even obscure. Yeah. they're an American vegetable as well. So not even obscure.

Yeah. They're an American vegetable? Yeah. I think I learned that recently from Bill Brassen. That's a funny like tomatoes as well and avocados and stuff. So funny. So North America is what you mean. Yeah.

North America. Including Mexico and things like that. Right. Yes. That's right. The North American content. But it's funny to think of like Dishes around the world that it seemed like Italian food you can't picture without tomatoes Yeah, but I only have had it for you know a few hundred years. Well, they've mastered it though. Have they yeah, but Americans just making ketchup

The Italians are like no no no we'll make some passata. Thank you very much I think there's a bit of an irony when Italians like the Americans don't they they can't make pizza pizzas ours I will tomatoes is there. So what are you gonna do? Tomatoes is this Don't even bother applying Sometimes your your driver degree really comes out because you've done two characters today where I'm looking at you the whole time and I lose you. Like Dave disappears and the character emerges.

Yeah. You look dip you trust you transport everything. It's amazing. I think it is beautiful and he's an artist. I've been traveling now and also annoyed Italian. What are you going to do? Wait, wait, American Italian? Yeah, American Italian.

American Italian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was beautiful. What are you going to do? I had to model that, so what are you going to do? What are you going to do? So that's her dad. Her mother was Frances Macbeth Glezner.

Incredible. Love that name. Frances Macbeth Glezner, who kept a diary for 40 years and her husband, who I said, loved to write, he did because he frequently wrote her diary for her when she was ill. And imagine he's writing stuff like, John is so great. I love John. I love John. John, John, John. John's my best friend.

So she is. Hi, John. Now, this is how the website describes Francis Macbeth. She was also a Silver Smith, accomplished pianist and avid knitter. She also gave away many of her silver pieces as gifts and purportedly knitted more than 500 sweaters for children, employees and servicemen. As for silver, her pieces bear her hallmark, a G in circling a honey bee, iconography for another interest, beekeeping. She also attended all rehearsals and performances given by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, one of her greatest passions.

Oh, rehearsals and all. She's doing a lot of stuff. A lot of hobbies. I guess you can knit sweaters while watching orchestras. So maybe there's a few that you could knock off and then give away silver at the end of it. They didn't have TV. Right. I think if you don't have TV, you really, you find there's a lot more hours in the day.

What was her main gig? Well, as we're about to discover, in this family especially, women not really allowed to pursue a career. Yes. Okay. But she sounds like she made hobbies a career. Yes, that's right. Doing lots and lots of different things on the side. And also a very practical woman which might influence her daughter.

Let's talk about her now. Their daughter and our actual report topic, Francis Glyznyly, came along in 1878. The youngest child and only daughter of the family, nicknamed Fanny as a kid. She was homeschooled by tutors just like her older brother George. Which is Fanny is funny to us because of what it means, in America just means ass. Yeah, not funny. It's not funny. They've just called their daughter ass. Yeah.

When it's here it means front ass. As a feminist. Can I say front ass as a feminist? I don't think you can. Okay. I think as a feminist you have to say the word. Uh, vulva? Yeah.

Front vulva. Front vulva. Front vulva. You think of the butt as the back vulva Do you think of the butt as the back Volvo? I think of the butt as the back fanny. The back fanny. Yes. Right.

Which is what I think must have been where I got confused between, you know, English and Australians. I think we use fanny for the front and Americans use it for the back. So fanny pack to us is a bum bag. Yes. You know, I love culture. It's beautiful. That is confusing because we even though

usually you'll have your bomb bag at the front, not around the back, which I think this is probably where the confusion came. Yes. So people go on. It's a bomb bag. And they go, oh, they must say bump for the front. So yeah, it's very confusing. It became the back in America. Yeah, my gosh.

I remember Marge Simpson saying to one of the kids, something about being on your fan. That's got to starfish on the fan. And you're like, Marge, what the fuck are you talking about? What the hell, Marge? What the hell, Marge? Jeez, Marge. Jeez.

Oh my God. My God. This show has really gone to the dogs. This usually fantastic family show. Wonderful program. I wasn't allowed to watch it for a long time. Well, because of such saucy stuff. Yeah, our parents were hearing Fanny on Starfish on the Fanny.

You know, no, no, no, no, no, no, not for my little angel. Anyway, so they've named her daughter Fanny. Fanny, exactly. And being a Fanny, I get the two confused. And being a woman, especially of her family, like I said, she was expected to grow up and be a society lady. Yes, very important job. Her brother went to Harvard University. Sorry, I actually don't know how to say this word. Can you look at it on my screen? How do I say that? Harvard. University. Thank you so much.

Harvard. Perfect. You know this word as well. I don't know. One winner from Jess. Okay. Harvard. Harvard. So brother went there, George went there, but many places reference her father as saying, quote a lady doesn't go to school. Yes. Gentlemen never shit, a lady never goes to school.

Yeah. I'm from the same era. Yeah. Ah, so we're getting a rough idea of how I existed in the same era. Yes, of course. That's true. Instead, Francis learned things like sewing, embroidery and painting, and importantly, the art of miniatures. Yes. Making intricate dolls, houses and scenes. Apparently, making these miniature scenes was a very popular hobby at the time.

OK. So to try and create ultra realistic scenarios. Again, no TV. No TV. No video games. No Sims. What? If I didn't have the Sims, I've been playing since I was 11. The fuck the hours I'd get back.

Honestly. That's what they were doing though. They were building the Sims. Yeah. And then setting fire to the room and watching. Is it Sims is basically just modern miniatures? I guess so. Yes.

How about that? Wow. I remember I used to work at a supermarket on a teenager and there was this one of the managers we were going to see a band or something and he was a bit older. So I'm like, this guy's real cool. You know, nice. Get to his place, pre drinks and he's just packing away the miniature army people he's been paying. What are you like?

Oh, no, I was just like, well, if he's cool, that's cool. You know, that's sort of, I wasn't judging, but I was surprised. I think, you know, you become less judgmental as you get older or I have. Yeah. I know you, Dave, are more and more judgmental as you get older, but. I hope I don't. Yeah. But no, it is funny.

I cannot walk down the street without Dave coming at like going like, that top with those shoes. Oh my god. Yeah, he always refers to people as honey. Yeah, it's very strange. It's weird. Honey, no. Because it feels like honey, Dave, you can't talk like that.

You know what I mean? Babe, you can't talk like that. Yeah, I can't say honey. Babe, you can't pull that off. You wish you could pull that off. So Francis wanted to be a doctor or a nurse or in her own words, do something in my lifetime that should be of significant value to the community. Wow, that's nice, especially for such a rich person to be like thinking about other people.

Yes, the community. Yeah. I'm yeah. I want to help people. What? They usually think of them as workers and not people. Yeah. But she was forbidden from all such pursuits. Yeah, that makes sense. Imagine her society friends got wind of this.

She wants to help the greater good. Shut it down. Well, without irony? Yeah. What? Well, maybe like a dinner for schmucks type scenario. Yeah. Well, feed some fool.

Wait, we'll be laughing at it. Do you mean you want to throw a really fancy soiree that looks really good for you? But we could say we're doing it for charity. Is that what you think? Because that I can get on with. Sure. A Catillion. Yes.

I don't really know what that means. No idea. It's something I'll say either. Which is most of your knowledge of everything. Everything rich, everything poor. Wow. Both sides of the tracks. Yeah, Chino.

Hey, Chino. That sure had everything. Welcome to the OC, bitch. Yeah. That's what I would say when I meet you there one day. Yeah, great line. In 1898, at the age of 20, she married lawyer, Bluette Harrison's name blue it blue it blue it blue it has that spell BLEWT. Blue it's the same as Greg Greg Greg who is trying to crank it up but so nine blue it.

First name blue it's incredible first name blue it is one of the great names. Greg blue it but blue it first name is that better or worse? I don't know. I don't know either. I'm confused by this. Goes in reverse order of surname, half surname, first name, first name. Blewett Harrison Lee. Oh yeah, that's a reverse name.

He's got a reverse name. He should be Lee Harrison Blewett. He should be Lee Harrison. That is a much better name. That is a much better name. Can we fix that? In post history? Yeah, let's fix that now. Let's go back in time. Get the DeLorean. Let's go. And I'm sorry to say that Frances Claesna Lee, that's where the Lee comes from, married

Bluette Harrison Lee, not Lee Harrison Bluette. Lee Harrison Bluette, fantastic name. This is my husband, Bluette. Like, how could you say that seriously? Yeah, come on. Hello, I have an appointment. What was your name? Bluette, Bluett. Like, how could you say that seriously? Yeah, come on. Hello, I have an appointment. What was your name? Bluett. Bluett. No, sorry, your first name.

First name. Yes, that is my first name. And what's your surname, Lee? I'm sorry, you've got the wrong one around. Answering the phone, hello, Bluett speaking. Like, how do you take yourself seriously? You saying it like Bluett, comily? You're not saying your first name is actually Bluett.

That's impossible. Yes, I am saying my first name is Bluett. Why's impossible. Yes. I'm saying my first name is blue What do you ask? Oh my god? He was a lawyer too. You don't know I do this guy. She's sweet. I hate him Do we hate him? Yeah, he you're allowed to hate me. We hate him. They had three children together We hate him. We had and we hate them too. No, we don't. We hate the children. I really had to blew it. I didn't have any record of their names. They were probably her awful name.

They've got bluette blood in them. I hate them. They're half bluette. Yeah. So I half hate them. So that's her husband. It was actually a friend of her brother that would introduce her to her lifelong passion.

A medical examiner by the name of George McGraw introduced her to the then fledgling world of forensic investigations. Already a fan of Sherlock Holmes, when George visited the family home and told her about the cases he was working on, Francis was absolutely fascinated. Couldn't get enough. I love how Sherlock Holmes has influenced like real world. Yeah. Yeah. Before that, a lot of people weren't influenced like real world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Before that, a lot of people weren't thinking in that way to solve a crime. And you did do a whole episode about Sherlock Holmes and the guy who- And Arthur Conan Doyle, that's right. But did Arthur Conan Doyle take anything from the real world or did he fully invent these things in his stories? Do you remember? I think there's a bit of both. So he was like not a detective.

He was a doctor by trade, medical doctor. And I think some of the Sherlock is was from memory based on someone that he knew in his life. But I think a lot of the scenarios and the way that he would, you know, detect. Yeah. And break down clues were so good. We're holding you and they went, we got to say they weren't the first detective stories. We know that Edgar Allan Poe is actually often credited with being the first. Yeah, the detective story. The Rue Morgue.

That's right, murder in the Rue Morgue that we covered on book sheet. I think God, because you were both looking at me and I was like, I don't know. The fact that I could remember Rue Morgue. Yeah, very impressive. Good stuff. George McGraw actually later, so who's the friend that would come around and tell her about the cases he's working on, things he's studying.

He later became Boston's chief medical examiner and became very famous in the field. It was like at the time, it's really only just taking off. And he piqued the interest of young Francis. But because of her conservative family, she was unable to pursue this fascination with any formal education. So she very quietly read about science and crime scenes, sometimes even visiting crime scenes to further her own private research, which sounds pretty

full. Wow. Say that again. She would just go to crime scenes. Just out of interest. And just examine and have a look. I mean, how else you learn? Yeah. I think I'd else you learn? Yeah.

I think I'd- Good question, and we'll answer that. I miss her slightly. I was thinking you were saying that she was creating crime scenes. Yeah. Honestly, when I first read that too, I was like, hang on. You know how often, you know, like there's an arsonist or something and then the person who comes to, you know, it turns out that-

They're in the volunteer firefighting. Yeah, he's like that. Or like, I'm sure on a bunch of those CSI NCIS crime shows, there are things where it's like, hang on, actually, it was the cop all along. Yeah, he's like that. Or like, I'm sure on a bunch of the CSI NCIS crime shows, there are things where it's like, hang on, actually, it was the cop all along who liked to stage these scenes. It felt like that, but don't worry, she's not a killer. Okay, yet. What is she? Which kind of crime does she do? In 1914, 16 years into what has been described as an unhappy marriage Francis and blew it divorced. Could they do that?

Yes, but it was very controversial at the time, particularly in her echelon of society, and she was dependent on her wealthy but very conservative family from that point on. Right. But I think she made the right call. Yeah. Cut out blew it. Yeah. I don't know.

I just think he had so many opportunities to make their marriage work. What did he do? He muffed it. Yeah He did I don't know how else to say it. Yeah, we saw another term We've worked together for too long We've worked together for too long that now it's the easiest alley-oop ever. I'm just like, okay, here we go. And there we go. Yep, we've done it. Muffet is actually probably a better name than Bluett.

Muffet. Muffet. Muffet. Hello, Muffet speaking. That's fine. I don't quite like Muffet, but Bluett. Can I get on board? I quite like Muffet.

Little Muffet Warnakee. Hey, who knows? I never boil girl. Muftit. Little Muffy. Little Muffy. Muffy. Muffy.

That's nice. In England, I think that means the front. We can't travel there anymore. So that was 1914 and then she sort of lived a pretty, by all accounts, pretty quiet family life. But 15 years later, her older brother George died in 1929 following a appendicitis in pneumonia. Then her mother died in 1932 and her father in 1936

just before his 93rd birthday. And you're swearing she's not a killer. Well, he was 93. Okay. The perfect crime swearing she's not a killer. But he was 93. Okay. The perfect crime. Yeah. No one will suspect a thing. And being the sole heir, Francis Glesnally inherited the lot.

Oh my goodness. And now that's motive. You would say that. And now 54 years old, she was suddenly phenomenally wealthy and more importantly finally able to spend it on whatever she wanted. Sweaters she's getting back in the new game. No that was a mom. Yeah I'm a sweater throw that out. Yeah wow that's exciting for I mean obviously she probably is missing her family but be fun to not be a prisoner in your own home anymore.

Yeah. Do you reckon? I imagine. Okay. So now, so much money, more than you can ever spend. She immediately thought of the stories that George McGrath, the medical examiner, used to tell her. Slate writes in an article that I will link to

in the show notes that George would complain that the murders too often went unsolved because detectives misinterpreted or tampered with evidence or coroners with no medical training botched the autopsies. The incredibly named Bruce Goldfarb. Come on. Come on. Bruce Goldfarb. I think you were at Bruce Goldfarb and I'm like, I think I assume I know where this is going. I did not know where that was going.

Now it's gone farb. Farb with a B on the end. He was a spokesperson for the Maryland Medical Examiner's office. He told Slate in that article, investigators used to do dumb things. They would walk through blood, move bodies and put their fingers through bullet holes in clothing. Eww.

Imagine just walking to a crime scene and just stepping through the blood. Sort of, oh, what's that put my finger in that? Yep. Oh have a lick of that Sniff this Sticker stick a wound in my ear Hear this wound I can hear the sea There's the ocean in this dead man. The ocean did it. Case closed.

That's how bad the ground. He drowned. It was like miles in land. Drowned at sea. Drowned. Oh well. No recovery of the body. Open and close.

Case Puao. This man drowned at sea. Yeah, he was standing next to Uluru or something. It's like it's a long way from the ocean, Paro. It's the ocean. I can hear it. I don't know what more evidence you need. And all topses were often completed by people with no specialist training at all, and things

were routinely missed. And Francis, a newly minted wealthy and independent woman, wanted to change all of that. She thought if only these people were educated and taught to think about forensics and crime scenes, then they'd have a much better chance of solving the cases. So in 1936, she put her money where her mouth was and donated a sizable sum of money to Harvard to establish the first program. Sorry, I've missed, Jess has given me another look here. I was looking at Max. I was like, did you understand? I was not quite sure what he said. Must be like a community college.

Yeah, I must say. I realized what I've done here because I've said the word wrong. Okay. In 1936, she donated a size or some of money to, sorry, again, this word. Oh, Harvard. Thank you. Harvard. Thank you. Everyone's getting that. And there she established the first program of legal medicine.

Oh. She basically said, here's a few million dollars. Let's set this up. Her old inspiration, George McGraw, was the first professor of legal medicine and Francis also set up the George Burgess McGraw, she's named after him, Library of Legal Medicine and the United States First Forensic Pathology Program. Wow. That's very nice. If you heard her name a library after him.

Yeah. Even though she's paid for everything. Yeah. I suppose he's the one that inspired her and also talked her through the cases, educated her a lot when she wasn't allowed to have a beautiful tribute. Yeah. Would you like me to name a library after you? Yeah. Well, if I have a teacher something. So maybe not. Yeah, probably not. Probably I'd name a toilet after you. Yeah, well, if I ever teach you something. So maybe not. Yeah, probably not. Probably I'll name a toilet after you mate.

Bit rich coming from someone who has had a toilet named after. And it's an honor. I was delighted to go take a piss in my toilet. Okay. Well, that's true. So I would love to give you the same. You could name a urinal after me, sure. But a gentleman never shit. That's right. Are you a shit. So you shrino. That's nice. You are the pun master. Was that a pun? I think it's a pun. You shrino. That's classy as hell.

Yeah. Rarely a pun. So classy. If that was in fact a pun. Yeah. It's so classy. It makes me think it couldn't have been. But I'm not sure. I don't know.

You shrino. She also set up the first. I know what I'm saying this right? Harvard. Oh yes, closer. We're going there? Yeah. The first Harvard seminars in homicide investigation. And then also this university, Harvard has a magazine which paid tribute to her legacy in 2005.

And they write, she presided over the seminars in grand fashion, the only woman among 30 or 40 men giving banquets at the Ritz Carlton for the participating detectives and medical examiners, personally overseeing elaborate menus, floral arrangements, table settings. So she's putting the money forward for the educational stuff, but also having these big seminars and also basically doing the party planning for that as well. Yeah.

Well, she's doing what she knows and what her family taught her to do because that's all she was allowed to do. It's all she was allowed to do. But it sounds like she's sort of, I don't know, building communities as well in a way, like getting all these people together. And some of the stuff that her family taught her also is going to come in handy here because Francis wanted to educate police and investigators about best practice at a crime scene and also to use critical thinking when they were there, study every element in order to try and deduce

what's actually happened, not just go for the obvious. Yeah, try to get the little gray cells in there. Exactly, yes. Thank you. But it's obviously pretty tricky for multiple classes of people to visit actual crime scenes. Kind of like what you were saying before, mate. You can't, it's difficult to just go out to one. Yeah.

How do you find a crime scene? I've never seen one. Yeah. Especially if you've got like a whole class, you know, if you know, 20 new detectives, you want to teach them. You've got a bus full of people. Yeah. Like we're just driving around trying to find a crime scene.

You guys seen any murders around here? No? Eventually you're going to have to start committing crimes. Yeah. I could just drive around trying to find a crime scene. You guys send any murders around here? No. Eventually you're going to have to start committing crimes. Yeah. Well, so she decided to put her skills to the test and create the next best thing. Minature models of crime scenes. It's cool. These were based on actual cases, but Glleason Ali had a lot of creative license

with interiors and the characters she put on display in these little scenes. And she called each of these little snapshots of crime, nut shells. All the clues were contained within the nut shell. And this led to the scenes to be referred to as, which I'll call this week's episode, the nut shells of unexplained death. Whoa. That rules. Yeah.

That is, I don't, I don't know, I don't even know how to get all that in my head. We've broken that. Cause that is, that is quite a sentence. Well, was that sentence from earlier? That was the worst of all time? Yeah. This is the best of all time. This might be the best of all time. That's the best of all time. This might be the best of all time.

That's the best of all time. Oh my God, we've done it. We've done both in one episode. I can't ever remember that one. A sifted, something about the sifted people of society on the sunny street. Oh yeah. It was awful. Shut up, shut the fuck up.

I hated that sentence. I want that sentence to die. Yeah. I want that sentence to come to life and die a painful death. Yeah. You want that sentence to suffer. Yeah. It deserves it. Whereas this one about the nutshells of whatever want that sentence to suffer. Yeah. It deserves it.

Where is this one about? The nutshells of whatever? That was the best. That was incredible. Memorable. Yeah. The nutshells of unexplained death. That rules.

So good. And there weren't just any dioramas, they were painstakingly created with an incredible amount of detail and therefore realism. Francis came up with the concept and then had a carpenter build the mini rooms at a scale of one inch to one foot. Okay. Which is difficult for us in the matrix system to sort of imagine, but you know. I'm thinking of a six inch sub. They're all to scale.

It's 12 inches to a foot, right? Yeah. It's just one to 12, I think. Oh, so like a foot long. Well. I feel like no matter what said, you're going to say like a foot long. I'd be like, no matter what said, you're going to say, like a fool. What if they got like an animatronic sort of stuff involved in stuff? Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Is it battery operated? No, there's no electronics. Is there a beating heart underneath the floorboards? Telltale heart, so to speak. I'm afraid not. Together, her and the builder would create full rooms with working windows, locks, doors with accompanying tiny keys Wow, she's made crime adorable

They build the room and then it was then over to Francis herself to fill the room with textiles and figures creating curtains Rugs and tiny sets of clothes including stockings that she would hand knit with pins because they were so small. Just bringing in all these skills. Exactly, it's all coming together. She would knit for a few seconds until her eyes hurt because, you know, it was so small and she's in her mid 50s, so she was sort of really straining. So she'd do a few seconds, look away, go back, keep going until she created a set of tiny stockings.

But she thought of everything. Tiny burnt cigarettes left on a table in one of the dioramas, actually tiny cigarettes that she hand rolled and then burnt and then put out. Calendars displayed the correct date of when the victim died. Wow.

In one of the nutshells, a miniature rocking chair rocks exactly three times when it is pulled back to a, sorry, to a 45 degree angle. Francis had got a local craftsman to create the chair, but it sent it back when it didn't rock exactly the amount of times a real rocking chair that she'd once seen it a crime scene did. So she was a perfectionist. Yeah, well it seems like some of these things are super necessary, but I love it. I love it. I love it, but I question it a little.

Maybe there could be some focus elsewhere, but I love it. I love it. I love it but I question it a little. Maybe there's could be some focus elsewhere but I love it. I just think like she did have some children. Did she want to spend any time with them or? It's starting to sound like no. I think they might be all they're all sort of growing up now. I assume so yeah but you can visit them. You know you could get them on the blower. Yeah, no one ever mentions the children. I gotta say. Fingernail size Maus Trap actually worked. What? That is incredible. Which would take out the tiniest ones.

There is like, I don't know if I've seen it in a while, but there used to be these semi-viral videos that go around of people with these tiny little kitchens and cooking tiny pancakes and all like. She would all love that.. She would love that. I kind of love that. That's fun. That is fun. That is fun.

But tedious. It's kind of like just pointless. Pointless. But I mean, what isn't pointless? Yeah, well, really. It's kind of like, imagine that, but just that kitchen is covered in fake blood. That's what she's made. Yeah.

I mean, what we're doing right now is pointless. I know. I remember. You could argue it is. Everything is pointless. Yeah. I mean, what we're doing right now is pointless. I know. I remember. You could argue it is. Everything is pointless. Yeah. But it, Except love.

In a different way, everything's full of point. Holy shit. Everything's point full. Except love. Except love. Yeah, oh, what a waste of time. Yeah, it is a waste of time. Hey, life is what gets in the way when you make plans,

or whatever John Lennon said. Yeah, that's nice. What a poet. That's good. Yeah. Well, I took what John Lennon said and I made it better. You've been doing that your whole life. Yeah.

So there you go. Thanks, John. So Francis contended that if they weren't 100% believable, then the police study it wouldn't take them seriously and learn what needed to be learned. So that's why she went above and beyond to make them really, really. If we want the police to really respect us, we need these doll houses to be spot on. OK. You want to be taken seriously in this biz, you're going to make a tiny little jacket.

OK. Jesus Christ. We don't want to be a laughing stock when the sergeant comes around. And he sees that the rocking chair is slightly skew if. You call that a thatched roof? You're embarrassing yourself. I'm not even going to try to attempt to solve this crime. You don't make dinner tables out of that kind of timber? Come on.

The grain's running the wrong way, for God's sake. These chairs are different. I wanted to believe that there's room between the way you eat the meals in the kitchen. I mean, it makes just it just makes no sense. That's not up to code. Pull it down, start again. Yeah, that was the first ever blooper and I'm actually sectioned.

I'm actually, I think, all fine. This is a big goof. So that's the setting. There were also dead bodies in there. Oh, real ones. Yeah, really, really tiny. She made tiny people and then she killed them. So truly psycho.

No, there were these little fake, fake bodies. I'm happy to say they were precisely positioned, some shown to have rigor mortis, bloating and discoloration. Wow. Blood splatter patterns and angles of stab wounds were studied and displayed in accurate detail. And as you can imagine, some are pretty grim and grisly and they depict hangings, stabbings, death from fire, people have died from falls. So it's like these are like kind of nightmare doll's houses according to slate each model cost between three and four and a half thousand dollars to create which in the 1940s was similar to what a full-size house would cost to build Why are they costing so much? She's an absolute millionaire and she's just spending so much. Yeah

to make the Charging full price. You know it probably takes him a week. Yeah. Because she's so precise and it comes back and she goes, no, do it again. And in terms of like the fabric she's choosing to decorate, she's going for like designer brands. So she's buying full size rolls and stuff

and just cutting a tiny little corner in it. She's sending people to China to buy the best silk. Yeah, that's right. She's making kitchen benchtops out of crushed fabbage eggs. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Well, they make for the best silk. Yeah, that's right. Smaking kitchen benchtops out of crushed fabbige eggs. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Well, they make for the best benchtops. So, see, those bricks, those are actually gold bricks

that we spray painted with terracotta colors. So it's wild. It would cost the same as it would cost to build a house. She would create up to three in one year because it would take so long to make. She is. And in total, she made 20. That's amazing.

Which is a cost of 20 houses. But yeah, they all have a descriptive name, and some of them include, this is some of the names, log cabin, blue bedroom, burned cabin, pink bathroom, woodman's shack, barn. All very cryptic. Can't figure them out. I can't crack these codes.

Just old timey words I don't understand. Saloon and jail. Okay. Striped bedroom. Living room. Two-story porch and garage. Garage. Garage. Garage. So what you're saying basically is to help the greater good, she's spending what she could be on giving people livable houses on little tiny houses. And if there weren't such a success, I'd be like, what a waste of money. But as we're about to hear, they are very influential. Well, she could have given what, 20 people, 20 families a house that year,

but instead she changed the game. Exactly. Of crime. You give one person a house, they have one house. Yeah. But you make a miniature house, you've changed the game exactly of crime. You give one person a house, they have one house. Yeah. But you make a miniature house, you've changed the game forever. Yeah. Is that how that phrase goes?

Yeah. It's not that phrase goes. I think that's what Jesus meant. Yeah. With the fish or whatever. Yeah. Sorry Jesus if you don't know he's a carpenter, I once knew. Oh, okay, great.

We're talking about tradies you've met, it's weird. Steve the plumber. Good guy. Good guy. Good. Greg the Sparky. Rock solid guy. Greg. Yeah.

We had a Sparky, which for internationalism is an electrician. That's not an... Of course it is. Is it really? Yeah, yeah. That seems English to me. Oh yeah, it could be, but Americans would call them an electrician. Oh, okay.

And you know, other people. Weird country. Other people who maybe English isn't their first language. That's so. And they hear sparking. I don't know what this is. I really hope they got a funny, I'm going to look up American nickname for, I bet it's something more gibberishy than that.

Yeah. Anyway, we had, when we were renovating our house, there was an electrician there. Sorry, by we and house, I mean my parents' house. I don't own a house. When they were renovating, my brother was the builder on site and the electrician was a guy named Dodgy. It was very good at his work. Who should I make this check out to?

Dodgy? Sure, no worries. Fantastic. Do we have any verdict on nicknames for electricians in the United States of America? I feel like they just call them what they are. Yeah, maybe, because yeah, Sparky's coming up a lot, but I think it's not for Americans. I think it's for British Commonwealth, that's saying. Yeah.

Yeah, nothing for American nickname. Well, I'm looking forward to the tweets. I'll say that much. Yeah please. Genuinely. Americans let us know. What do you call? I say tweets like I'm the oldest man in the world now.

There's no one's tweeting anymore. No. I've Googled electrician nickname and this website called topnickname.com came up and it says top nicknames for electrician. Sparky. Okay. Yep. V Sparky. Okay. Yep. Vulture Lord.

Okay. Shocker. That was an electrician wanting to get Vulture Lord started. Yeah. You know, break a bad wizard. Okay. And what about this one? Electrician.

Oh, okay. That one I don't understand. That makes some sense to me. If you think about it. How did we get onto this? I think you were talking about an electrician. Yeah, but why did I talk about an electrician? Oh, that's a good point. The last thing I read out was that one of the places is called Garage.

Wow, we took that for a walk. I have no idea where I went with that. I'm so sorry. I've just come to, to be honest. Dave, please do go on. So each of the scenes comes with a bit of background that was given to the person studying the scene as if they were a police officer happening upon the crime in real life. They get a witness statement and other details about the deceased in, like in real life, might inform the investigation.

The people studying the scene were then asked to determine if it was murder, suicide, death by natural cause, or accident. Right, so there's only four options. They've invented Cluto. Yeah. Honestly, it's like a very, very expensive 3D Cluto. It was Professor Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick. Professor Mustard?

Dave Scott and Adam. Professor Mustard? Dave Scoffin at it. Professor Mustard? Yeah, okay. I think you're fine. That's a Colonel Mustard. Is that what you were doing? I thought you were... I was blaming it. I was like, oh, Professor Mustard. You're out of this Colonel Mustard. I thought you were being... Professor Green? No. Professor Green, it is. Professor Plum? Who's that? Yeah, I think a green it is. Professor Plum. Professor Plum. Yeah, I think. Reverend Green.

Oh, it's Reverend Green. OK. I thought it was Ed. That was way funnier if you were scoffing. So yeah. Are we ready to believe? A colonel, but he's also a professor. Look at the character.

That was a date. That's the third character. He changes his whole face. It's amazing. He became Mr. Ohm actually. Oh, I love Mr. Ohm actually. I still want to He changes his whole face. It's amazing. He became Mr. Rom, actually. Oh, I love Mr. Rom, actually. I still want to punch him in the face.

But you love him. Is the kind of guy you love to punch in the face. To punch. So you get your little scene and you're like, okay, here's the log cabin. Yep. Here's the background. And in that great slate article I mentioned, they give an example of one of the scene stories. This one is called Parsonage Parler.

It was in like passage where of the scene stories. This one is called, Parsonage Parlor, is in like, Parsonage where the priest lives. Oh. They live in a Parsonage. Parsonage, yeah. I thought they lived in a house. Yeah, no, they live in a Parsonage. They're all right. In a Parsonage.

A big white carrot. They live in a Parsonage. Yeah, interesting. Okay. Yeah, there you go. No, you do whatever you want. You live in a house. I'm gonna live in a house. The person like, I don't wanna live in a Parsonage. No, you do whatever you want to do. Yeah, whatever you want. I'm gonna live in a house.

The person like, I don't want to live in a pasta dip. I'm gonna live in a pasta dip, but I guess that's why I'm not a priest. I can't remember what I thought it was, to be honest. It's probably that. Probably that one is living in a bloody house, not a pasta dip. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm a better pasta dip.

I just like saying Parsonip. That's fine. It's very fun to say. So this is a little, like you say, it is like a board game in many ways. You get given these clues. Yeah. It's a little bit long. It's about three paragraphs here, but see if you can solve this.

We won't interrupt in this time, Matthew. Absolutely. Feel free to interrupt. No. About the Parsonip. No. But this is what it says. On August 19, 1946, Dorothy Denison left her house to walk to the local butcher's shop. It was a Monday afternoon and the high school student was on summer break. She arrived at the butcher's shop.

Just the one student. One student was on summer break. Everybody else got held back. No. Dorothy Denison is a high school student. He's on summer break. Oh, I see. She is.

She is. She is the one. She is. That could be a clue. Yeah. Let's keep that in mind. I'm going to note that. I'm going to make the little mental jot down of that one. Please continue. I was like, I can't believe I made it through two sentences when I was being interrupted. That's actually a record.

She arrived at the butcher shop around noon and purchased some hamburger steak, which her mother planned to fix for dinner that evening not sure what hamburger steak is beef. Is it like mint's been in a steak? Anyway, who cares hours past and Dorothy did not return home Alarmed her mother telephoned her neighbor and the butcher but neither had any leads on where Dorothy could be At 5 25 p.m. The mother phoned the police to report her daughter missing. Days passed, but no clues emerged. Finally on Friday, Officer Patrick Sullivan found her in the darkened home of a church rector who was on vacation.

Behind shuttered windows and a mid-covered furniture, Dorothy lay on her back dead. Her arms and legs were spread, and a knife stuck out of her gut. Her white dress had been pulled open exposing her chest and bite marks covered her body and legs. Blood had seeped from wounds on her head, hallowing her brown hair in a dark pool. She was still wearing the red hair bow and matching ballet slippers that she had left the house in on Monday. Is this a made up story by the rich woman? So a lot of them are inspired by real crimes that she's either read about or investigated

herself but then she puts her own spin on. She names people and gives people motivation and stuff like that. Yeah right. I was just wondering for a second why are you telling us this stuff? This is really depressing. Yeah it is but it's not real. Okay. It's not real. Okay. It's not real. But you would get that, I'm trying to just say, so that's one of 20 little scenarios. Yeah, we're trying to solve a case.

You're trying to solve a case. And then you look at- There were 20 options and you picked the murdered schoolgirl. I would say this is the only one I found the actual, because they don't publish a lot of these online, because as we'll find, they're still used as teaching tools. Wow. Still. Still. Still.

Still, still. So that was the only one I found, and that's in the Slate article. So it is a little bit violent, but I imagine all of them are. Because it's- All the murders. Yeah, well then, but they're not, that's the thing.

They're not all murders. Some might look like a murder, but it might actually be an accident. Oh, that's right. Or the other way around. Okay. So that's the thing. I'm thinking this one's probably a murder.

Yeah, the knife in the gun. You haven't even heard all the details. That's true. I don't know, I don't know. I've done all the details. So that is all the details. So that's what you get. And then you obviously also look at all the crime scene. Supposedly there's enough info on this for you to be able to solve it.

Yeah. If you're looking at the crime scene as well. All right. What is it, a butcher's knife? Oh, shit. Good question. I don't know. But maybe you would look at it and that's it.

That would be an absolute clue. You'd go, hang on a second. This is a meat cleaver. And if I just get out my magnifying glass, it has the name of the butcher on the handle. Stuff like that, I imagine. Yeah. Wow. In 1945, so she's building these over many years.

Who did it? I'll tell you that. Not probably one. I explained a bit more about the Nuts nutshells, but while she's building this, she's also investing heavily in these teaching seminars that she's wanted up and then started giving herself in 1945. Francis began giving by annual week-long seminars at Harvard using her nutshells as training tools. So as she's building them, she'd start using them in the classroom. She was almost always the only woman in the room and at first people were skeptical but over the months

and years she gained their respect and admiration and soon came to be beloved and acknowledged as the expert that she was. And that restarted every semester. New group coming in. Who's this old broad? Every semester. Yeah. New group coming. Who's this? This is all broad. I'm like, oh, man. They also send her loads of Mother's Day cards every year.

Hmm. Because they were all her kids. She'd forgotten about him, but they didn't forget her. That feels weird, doesn't it? No, we're done in actual children. None of the male professors are getting Father's Day cards. Yeah, there's no. So I understand it's sweet.

And obviously it's like they like they think fondly of her, but you don't have to see every older woman as a mom. It is funny. Yeah, it's just funny that they don't have any other context for it. Yeah. As a woman, we, oh. I like her and I respect her.

The only sort of older woman we know is mom. Yeah. So I guess she's like my new mom. She must be mom. Is she mom? Mummy? They ask questions. Mom. I think what's happened here is one of the students like my new mom. She must be mom. Mummy. They ask questions of mom.

I think what's happened here is one of the students has accidentally called her mom one day. Very embarrassing. And then really like, committed to the big dog in committed in center of Mother's Day card to be like, oh no, I called her mom as a joke. Yes. It was just a joke. All funny. And then what all the other kids are like, yeah, I guess she's our mom too. I think that then they started making mother's day cards from the other students.

Oh, I can remember how you sent one to and the other kids like, what? No, I've got proof. They go all in on it. Look, I've made a little dollhouse that just shows you writing that card. Okay, that's weird when you do it. She comes in and goes, okay. Hers are pretty good. Yours is made of toilet roll.

And it's quite creepy. Yeah, really maniacal scribbling. She was also made an honorary captain with the New Hampshire State Police, making her the first. New Hampshire. New Hampshire. Sorry, New Hampshire. Is that another character?

That's very poor. New Hampshire. This made her the first woman to join the International Association of Chiefs of Police. The seminars that she was giving became nationally recognised as the best training one could receive. Shit, that's cool. So became a prestigious and well sought after course to do. And her work made a practical difference, achieving her goal of making forensic and crime investigations recognised and thought of as a precise science. That's awesome. She also wanted to shift perception, especially on women who she felt

the police at the time might have prejudices against. So many of the nutshells to pick women and also marginalize people like sex workers. She wanted the cops to leave their prejudice out of it and look at the clues and facts because it might not be exactly what they first think. Yeah. Wow. Holy shit. This feels ahead of its time. Yeah. And she set up most a lot of them to be not open and shut cases rather than traditionally these cops walking there and go, oh, it looks like, you know, blah, blah.

That's over there. Yep. Someone's clearly shot him. Must have must have been the husband. And then coming in as Jap from Poirot. Exactly. It's an open and shut case. Poirot. But then if you look at look at the clues clearly, clearly the dad did it.

Poirot is transforming his whole face. You're surrounded by character actors. I love it. Lucky me. And you're the drama captain. I know. No, you're the most dramatic one here. I'm the drama queen. Yes. I'll tell you about another one of the nutshell, it's Burnt Cabin. It's a favourite of Catherine Ramfland, who is a professor of forensic science, psychology

at DeSales University in Pennsylvania. She describes it as, there's a dead guy in the room. The story is that a nephew says he was awakened by the fire and had to flee. But then when speaking to New Hampshire Public Radio in 2015, Professor Ramsland said, a man died in it and his nephew was standing outside telling police that he barely just got out in time and wasn't able to save his uncle. But there he is, fully dressed. Oh, really? He had time to dress but not get your uncle out? Stuff like that. Little scenarios like that where you question a little bit further and you go, hang on. And he goes, I was already awake fully dressed.

I hadn't gone to bed yet. I hadn't gone to bed yet. I sleep in a tuxedo. I fell asleep in the tuxedo. I wasn't in my Pidgeys yet. Pidgeys. How cute is Pidgeys? I don't know, Pidgeys.

I know. Did you coin that? I didn't coin it, no. After Fastball with Glenn McGraw. Yes. Wearing his one-dying outfit, which used to be called colored pajamas. Is that where camera? Uh, Pidgey.

Yep. Me Pidgey's. Pidgey's. Number 11. Who are Glenn McGraw? Pidgey's. No, an elderly family member called him Pidgey's. And I was like, that's cute as shit.

But am I right in saying that you did drama at school? Yes. So it means a lot that you've spotted Dave and I was like, that's cute as shit. But am I right in saying that you did drama at school? Yes. So it means a lot that you've spotted Dave and I as talents. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is high praise. You started at a tertiary level. Am I right in saying that? Yes, that is true.

David, that's higher than you ever got? No, he has a degree in it. Okay. Well, that's why it's so good. I'm self-taught. Self-taught. You're a natural. I didn't do drama beyond when I didn't have to anymore.

Wow. Did your guest was here 10 or 8? Probably like you're 9. You right? Yeah. And what century was that? It, well. Did they call it you 9 then? I thought Willie, as I called him, Willie Shakespeare,

it was a contemporary mine. Yes. And I taught him a bit was a contemporary mine. Yes. And I taught him a bit about things as well. I like to think we taught each other. Sure. But yeah, so it was around whenever that was. Who you know, who? Who keeps track of those things.

Yeah. Willie Wobble Stick. That's what we called him around the school yard. Fuck, that is good. That's not mine. That's not mine. I'm saying that's what we used to call him. That is really well.

Willy Wobble stick because his name is Shakespeare. Gosh, that's fun. Oh, I never got it. Well, sadly, all good things must come to an end. And Francis Gleason Lee died in 1962 at the age of 83. Havid shut down her seminars and program and her nutshells might have been lost forever. If not for Harvard professor, Harvard professor, Russell Fisher, who rescued them and brought them with him to Maryland when he became chief medical examiner in 1968.

He stole them from Harvard. Yeah, Russell Fisher. He was like, you don't want to, you don't want these? You're not going to use these? You use these? I'm just going to have them. I'll take them. I'll take them, no worries. He started teaching with them in seminars,

and they are still being used today. Wow. He was caught in class one day, making a couple of them kiss. Yeah. And the students walked in and said, oh, no, no, no, they're teaching aid. These are teaching aid.

Going to teach the class with these. I don't know why I'm saying it like this. It's just letting you know. Ha ha. Ha ha. They're in know. They're in love. They're in love. That's the backstory. These days they are permanently installed on the fourth floor of the office of the chief

medical examiner behind a door marked pathology exhibit. Now, the reason I couldn't tell you the solution to the crime before is each of the nutshells has a solution secretly kept in an envelope that is only revealed you the solution to the crime before is each of the nutshells has a solution secretly kept in an envelope that is only revealed after the course to whoever is studying the scene and it gives and after they give their theory. So basically, Jess comes in, I give her all the clues, you get a bit of time to look at the thing and then you say your theory and then I hand you the envelope and you open up and it reveals whether you were on the money or not. Yeah. It says Ace of Spades. That is this the card?

It is. She was good. Wow. So magic beyond the grave. But because the scenes are still used as teaching devices, they've never been publicly revealed the the actual answers and they're still carefully guarded secrets, which I think is so cool. Yeah, me too.

I'm surprised I've lasted that long. Yeah. Because you'd think that just through word of mouth, people would reveal the answers. I think it shows that the students respect it. Yeah. And take it seriously. And want to use them to learn.

Yeah, they actually are. Yeah. It's just incredible. So cool. Maybe when it hasn't dated more than you'd think of, they would have, they'd be like, I don't understand. Where's the Wi-Fi? Where's the router?

I can't. I don't understand. Did they trip on the router? I don't see the router. I mean, do they watch too many Netflix and they just died? Is that what happened? Yeah. Too much?

No? But yeah, it's interesting. I suppose the idea of them being to leave you prejudice at the door is a bit of a timeless Kind of lesson. Well, I don't know. I think cops have they've got there I think I think they got there probably around the 90s and we've got some nutshells to thank for that I think yeah, yeah, thank you nutshells. That's really great cops no longer see gender or

sex or Color, creed. I definitely know it. It's so good. Yeah. That's cool. I think that's universal too. Yeah, everywhere. Certainly here in Melbourne.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered Nazi's in Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes, all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com.

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Yeah, and entrepreneurs can drive sales and engage their audience with the Squarespace email campaigns It's got everything you need built in so you can send it out to all your customers or your clients or whatever Well, we've never really done anything like this Dave an email campaign. What what we what will we use this for? I've always wanted to write a number one hit. I figured some email marketing could help me spread the Okay, well, you gotta you gotta write a song first. I don't think you have a some more about the campaign. Okay. They've actually think it's more about, you know, welcome emails or to an answer an upcoming sale or something like that. But maybe

maybe welcome to my number one song. Okay. Click now by the by now. Here's a sale. Agreed. I just agree. Okay, I'm just gonna move on. If you want your website to pop, Squarespace has a range of professional website templates with designs to suit any business. Dave, name a business. Hit music maker. Yep, they've got one for you. So you can customize your look, update your content, add features and make it look profesh.

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Maryland has 18 of them. But what happened to the others? Well, sadly, one was destroyed and is lost to history. The other was just lost until in 2005. According to New Hampshire Public Radio, Claire Brown was going through a storage area in one of Glesnelly's old gigantic houses in New Hampshire, as well as their main property that's now a museum. They owned a string of properties throughout America. A woman doesn't, a lady doesn't sweat.

She glasners. No, it doesn't work as well. It took you an hour. It's true. But now you've said it. It was very good. Well, it didn't take me an hour, Jess. You might not know this because, you know, you're still in up and come up.

But when you get to my level of comedy,'ve been doing it what you're in a half long of the year. Maybe what you understand is about timing. And if there's one thing Matt Stewart has. Sex appeal it's time. I appreciate what you said. So Claire Brown she's going through some boxes. Sorry, Claire.

Most boring name. I know. Claire Brown. Is she a CLARE or an IRE? Sans I. I actually really liked, I think Claire Brown's a great name. No, you're wrong though. No, I think that's fantastic.

I say that as a Jess Perkins. It's a vanilla name. I don't mind Jess Perkins either. I think Claire Brown's great. Okay. Okay. Agreed or disagree? Well, she's going through a storage area in one of the old mansions in New Hampshire. Brown recalls, there's something in a far corner where the roof slants down so much you can't stand upright. I said, hmm, I wonder what that is. So she pulled out what looked like a doll's house. When she looked inside, there wasn't a happy domestic scene. There was a tiny dead man on a tiny little couch.

It was the missing nutshell. Oh my God. Did she know about them? Cause to find that, it'd be like. So scary. Whoa, they're the corner of a dark attic. I don't think she did. She took it to someone else who was like,

maybe the manager of the property who instantly recognized what it was. Wow. She's like, well, I found this little, this creepy little thing. Yeah. And he's like, oh my God, that's one of the nutshells. They'd be real fucking weird. Sadly, France's solution to this has been lost. So it's the most mysterious and debated of all the nutshell scenes. Because you come in, you examine it and you go, I think this happened, but there's no piece of paper telling you.

No, this is what I wanted to be the answer. Yeah. Well, that's, that's kind of fun. So that's cool. Yeah. Is that one public to be seen so everyone can debate it online? Yeah. That one is, I believe it's kept, it's not with the others.

It's kept in like a local museum, maybe in New Hampshire around that area where it was discovered. So you can go and have a look at it. Can we put these things on the itinerary? The itinerary. For the tour. We'll have to go to Maryland. Can we add them to the Golden Miles?

Yeah. It's kind of down that way. I think it's up there somewhere. To the right side. Yeah. So her legacy has been immense. And like I said, her nutshells are still used as teaching devices today the oldest of which is 75 years old which is pretty. It goes to show that you're never too old to make a difference because she really only started what would become a lifelong legacy in her mid fifties before that society fully repressed her.

Isn't it? Yeah. And she wanted to make a difference in some way. And she's like, I want to be a doctor or a nurse and that she wasn't allowed to do either of those things. And then in a way, she, you know, she found her way anyway. Yeah, it feels like the like as much as she did for crime scene investigation and stuff. It feels like just equality and law enforcement seems like she did quite a lot. Absolutely. Yes. Frequently, like a lot of articles refer to how she was the only woman in the room like nearly all of her career.

Which like I said start in the fifties which is amazing but no because of her dedication she really won over a lot of people and she was suspected in a lifetime and in death which is great. And you'll see like if you watch one of the seaises, women do star in these shows now. You're right. Shit. And that happened because of her. I think so. Wow. So this was all in Maryland, was it?

So what do you say we're going to get in Maryland? No, it's in Harvard, but now it's been all the Nutschers have been moved to Maryland with one of the Harvard professors when he moved. I follow one of the, I follow a Maryland social media thing because I think at some point in episode ages ago, I started going for their college basketball team. Sure. Of course you did. Go Torpons or whatever that called.

No, it wouldn't be Torpons. I don't know. Just who are the Maryland team? I don't know. I think it's the Maryland, Bernie Torpons. I personally prefer the Utah, El Elton Johns. That's nice. That's right. Put them together there. Yeah. What a combo. Beautiful. Terrapin. That's not far off. Bernie Terrapin? What does Terrapin mean? Is it a bird? I don't know if it

is a bird, but a guy called Bird came up with it. Oh, that's what I was thinking. I definitely had bird on the brain. Terra, Bernie Terrapin. They're turtles. Oh, that's great. I love a turtle. Yeah, that's an awesome mascot. Back on board.

Back on board. Wow. Go Terrapins. Go Terrapins. I'm going to say they're now my college team of whatever sport they play. I think they play a few of them. Anyway. Anyway.

Anyway, to wrap this all up, in 2017, all of the 19 surviving nutshells were reunited for the first time in decades for an art exhibition called Murder is Her Hobby, Francis Glesnerly, and the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death. And this was at the prestigious Renwick Gallery, a branch of the Smithsonian American Art Museum in Washington, DC. It's right next to the White House. Very cool. Cool. Francis Glezner Lee's legacy lives on and something that made me smile is,

you know, when her family, they didn't approve of her wanting a vocation of any description. Yeah. And it was only after they died that she was able to do what she wanted. Well, I find it interesting to note that the website for her family home that I'm so obsessed with, it writes, daughter Frances Glesner Lee is perhaps the most famous of the Glesner family. She was a pioneer in the field of legal medicine and is widely regarded as the mother of forensic science. So she outshone them all.

Love that. Which is awesome. And also mother of forensic science as well as She's getting the mother's day cards. That makes sense now. That actually makes sense. Yeah, no, I got defensive there straight away, didn't I? I didn't think about it. You do. Exactly. The nice tribute. I try and do what I call positive feminism. I think sometimes you're a bit negative with it. Yeah. And I think it's something that you can reflect on. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah. Hey, no worries. That's what I'm here for. I needed that. I'm leaning in and I'm letting you know how you can improve as a feminist.

I think that's my role. No. Just one more. Thank you, please. Thank you. Now, I mentioned CSI at the start. Well, Francis got the ultimate tribute. The nutshell studies of unexplained death provided the inspiration for the miniature killer who was recurring character in season seven of CSI?

Oh, and this is possibly even a great attribute the Smithsonian ponders that she may have been the inspiration For Angela Lansbury's character in murder she wrote that Jessica This whole thing was cool. You didn't have to convince us of anything. But we agree. You finally did. But finally we agree. This is cool.

Yeah, this is cool. This is cool. Holy shit, that is sick. Jessica Fletcher. I think they dumbed down her name a bit, to be honest. Sugan for Perkins. The smartest name of all. Yeah.

Why would you laugh when you said that? I'm very smart. I was thinking Glyssen Lea or whatever it all. Yeah. Why was thinking you laugh when you said that I'm very smart. I was thinking glisten lay or whatever it was. Francis Glissomely blew it Lee Francis blue Lee Francis Glissomely sorry yes Francis Glissomely Francis Jessica. Yeah I think it's a flat chart glasnelly. Yeah, you hear it. If you listen, if you're listening, ladies don't sweat they listen. Two ears, use them. Stupid. I feel like every week we say a stupid thing. Yeah, I don't know how we keep doing it. We're up to a run of 431 in a row where we just keep raising that bar somehow. I guess the day that we come in here and we're all very intelligent

is the day we just shop shop. Yeah, we go, well, we had a good run. We had a good run, we shake hands and we leave. Never to see each other again. A good day to you and a good day to you. And to you, sir. Then off we go. How good is it to be alive?

All right, so I think, Dave, if that is your... That's all I've day to you. And a good day to you, sir. And off we go. How good is it to be alive? All right. So I think, Dave, if that is your... That's all I got for you. I love that story. I knew nothing of it. And what a great story. Yeah.

You took us all over the shop there. And who knew we were going to end up with Bernie Terrapins? You couldn't have predicted the start of this. That's what we did. Exactly. We go places that no one else dare. Remember like 15 minutes in, I went, have to do business.

You know, you couldn't have predicted. Oh, those journeys together. It's exciting. You know, it's all about the memories. Yeah. And the people who make these memories possible are our fantastic supporters. Yes. And if you want to be one of these memories possible are our fantastic supporters. And if you want to be one of these supporters, you can go to patreon.com.

Do go on pod. There's a bunch of different levels, all sorts of different sort of money amounts and different things you can get. I think Dave will explain this even better than I just did. Hey, if you support us, you can get a range of things. You can vote on topics. You can get pre-sell. Yep. No, I just like you, you had one thing and then you kind of went, um, you get access to tickets before everyone else. We tell you about shows that we're doing, tell you where we're going.

You get to be in the private VIP Facebook group, which is honestly, you're like Facebook group. Who gives? This is the only reason a lot of people in our group are still on Facebook. They say that a lot. The only reason I'm probably on there too. Yeah, it's a great place. I really think the zoo should get involved and start, you know, paying us all to be there. Yeah. I think would work with his business model if he just pays everyone like he should be

funding our Patreon. You know what I mean? I agree. Yeah. And we are happy to negotiate with the zoo. Yeah. If the zoo is listening. And you also get Mark Zucchini. A lot of people sign up because they want to hear some extra content, some bonus episodes.

And now we have over 200 in the back catalog that you get access to as soon as you sign up at that level. And also we put out three brand new ones every single month. And hopefully later this year, we're very close to getting our goal. We're going to start releasing a fourth one. So basically one extra every week and it will be a season, a brand new series of do go D&D, Dungeons and Dragons, do go dragons, whatever we're going to call it, basically us playing Dungeons and Dragons. We've already got one season up there on Patreon and we're going to bring it back. And last month we actually had four bonus episodes because we had a two-parter about a new series called Matt Remembers.

Oh, you know, it doesn't have to be a series. People loved it. They really enjoyed it. It's only just bigger. Yeah, Matt remembered his trip to the United States and he recounted what he did. It was basically a travel diary in audio form and it was fun. It was really fun. It was good for Matt because as we know, he's getting old and the brain just doesn't work the way he used to. And then you got a record for the great, great, great, great Grandchild.

I also did a bonus episode. There was really the full length episode about another awesome and little remembered woman from history who was the first to swim the English Channel. Yeah. And her name was Gertrude. And I think that's just neat. That was actually so much fun. Yeah, it was a good one.

So yeah, they're all up there for you to listen to if you want to get involved. But the first thing we like to do at the end of this episode, this half hour, 40 minutes at the end of each week, we dedicate to thanking our great supporters. And the first thing we like to do is a section of the show called the fact quota question section. It has a jingle actually, think there's something like that.

Is it going? Yes, it's ready. Always remember the ding. Luckily, she always remembers the jingle as well as the sing. There's no jingle if there's no sing. Cool. And true. If you want to be involved in this section of the show, go to the thing. There's no jingle if there's no thing cool. And true. If you want to be involved in this

section of the show, go to the pageant.com. So you can go on pod and sign up on the Sydney shineberg level or above. And you get to give us a fat quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion or really whatever you like. I don't read them out until I read them out on the show. And that's really just for warning that I might stuff these up or they might be really awful things. And I can't help it. I'm reading the words, you know, like a guy on a train track putting a track down one by one. I don't know where we're ending up. Yeah. First up this week, I read for out the first one comes from Amy Clark and everyone also gets to give themselves a title. And Amy's title is Brigadier

General. Brigadier General. Forgettable name. Amy Clark does have a forgettable name. I wouldn't forget that because it's so boring. I also think I think Amy Clark's a really I like Amy Clark. Almost anything goes with Clark. Clark's great. Amy's a great name. Yeah, I like Amy. I think it's a great combo.

I take it back. Amy Clark's great. The thing that goes well with Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. If you're a chicken.

A. A. A. A. A choking chicken. clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock You are taking the piss over there. We will be having a chat with you after the pod, mate. Our editor, AJ Over and the beautiful Cross Church city of New Zealand. Can you just, I'll have a time out, but you just edit it out so the listeners don't have to sit through it. Great. All right, well, that was longer than I was expecting. Jess, you made me wait a full three hours, but I've learnt my lesson. You made him stand in the corner and stare at the wall.

I'm late for my dinner plans, but it was worth it. I hope AJ cut that out. Otherwise, we might be heading towards our longest ever episode. Anyway, Amy Clark is offering a quote this week, writing, due to being older than time itself, I no longer remember. Wait, you're a fellow. You can't be as old as the wind. The earth was so lonely back then. Surely I would have bumped into you.

Due to being older than time itself, I no longer remember where I first heard this quote from Dorothy Parker that is stuck in my brain through the ages. Dorothy Parker, I know that name. Me too. You read old Google. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. That's a great quote. American poet and writer. Yes. Dave would know that. Did you know that, Dave? Yeah, sure.

And Amy finishes by saying, thanks for being one of the rare podcasts that feel that both fuels and sates my curiosity in equal measure. All being hilarious and delightful along the way, you three are beyond compare. Oh my God, Amy. Oh my goodness, Amy, play, I'm blushing. Amy, I needed that. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Amy, you don't know, bye. I needed that. After the three hours in the corner, I was at a low end. And for you to include me in the three like that, that felt really good. I needed that. So often people say, Jess and Dave are so good, and then they notice I'm standing in the room. They say, oh, and you. And Matt.

And Matt. Very good. And Matt. And Matt. Very good. Thank you so much, Amy. Very, very nice. Next one comes from Paul Mella. What a man. And Paul. What a man, what a Mella.

What a man, what a man. You're warming up for the triptych section there. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Paul's title is That Guy on the Customer Helpline, Growing Patiently Impatient. Oh. Paul also, listeners might remember him. Paul's title is that guy on the customer helpline growing patiently impatient. Oh, Paul also listens might remember him. He took us for a walk on the St. Kilda episode. That's right. We went for a lovely little wonder. At one point his dog went missing, but it came back soon after.

It was a roller coaster. It was a roller coaster. It's exciting. Paul's asking a question, right? Oh, I've just missed it. You went there. No, Jess is listening back there in all five hours. Yeah, I'm not an idiot. Of course I have. I couldn't miss out on five hours of pure entertainment. It's a good app. People have stopped me in the street.

Is that true? People have stopped me in the street. Yeah. Not about this. Just sell your stuff. They're like, hey, love the beard. Hey, and have you heard about these great rates on telephones? Paul writes, hi guys, hope you're well. I've been on hold on a customer helpline for 20 minutes now.

This is with a large UK electrical good supplier. They sent me the wrong item. So I arranged a return replacement and they've only gone and done the same again. Can't get good help these days, right, Paul? I'm now trying to just return it and get a refund. After trying the automated chat service that didn't work, I'm now just trying to speak to a person. I'm getting really frustrated with this.

So my question is, what frustrates the hell out of you? I may still be on hold by the time this episode goes out. Keep up the great work and keep the faith, Paul. I'm guessing that's related to the Saints. Keep the faith. He's a Saints man. It's just good advice. Or maybe he's suggesting we all think about that carpenter

that I once knew. Greg. I wonder if the electronic retellery went to is Argos. Oh. Is that the one? I'm pretty sure I was just like. Yeah, that was the one we went into and I felt like we're in the future. It was a shop without products. All it has in the middle of the room is like a computer terminal, and then you go up to it and

you click what you want because we needed to buy a card reader so we could sell some merch on the tour that worked in the UK. And I walked in there like, oh, where's the stuff? I'm like, I know it's all in there. And then you go and you like look it up like you would online on there online. Yeah. And then you click it and then you take your receipt up to the counter and they go, okay. And they go out the back and get it from like a warehouse. I assume we captured some of this on on camera, which kind of put into a travel log video, which Dave and I have not reviewed. I reckon he edited that months ago.

We should really have a little peek. Anyway, it was very interesting. Yeah, wow. Anyway, there's a question here. What really frustrates you? Jess, I feel like you're someone who can get frustrated. No. I'm very patient and not at all emotional.

It's funny though, because I can't, I do get very frustrated all the time, very easily, but now I can't think of anything. Hmm. I'm thinking one that's just fresh in the mind because we talked about it on last month's bonus episode about Gertie Gertrude, Gertrude, Italy, people who, who universalized their, yes, their experience. Individual experience, they go, this is how it was for me. So this is how it is for everybody.

Yeah. I remember it from back in, in high school, coming up to exams, people be like, I'll be, I'll be, I was a Krammer, right? So I'll be cramming study in the night before and the day of, and I remember people going, hey, if you haven't learned it by now, you won't learn it. You can't get it. I'm like, well, this is actually me learning it.

Okay, so shut the fuck up and let me, can you just let me do it? And they go, it didn't help me. So just letting, you know, I'm like, well, I don't care. I'm not you. Yeah, that is annoying. Well, so, you know, that, I don't know,

that's a good example, but that sort of stuff. I hate fiddly little things and I'm really bad at like very easy practical things for most people. I was talking to you about this recently opening like packets of things like a cereal box or something. Oh, yeah. I'm very bad at getting my finger under there and opening it without just ripping the whole box open. And I find that so frustrating. Yeah. And things like getting glad wrap or foil out of the, you know, you pull it out and then you're supposed to use that thing that chops it off.

Glad wrap is impossible. I get so frustrated. I've been using that for a long time. But I get annoyingly like over the top frustrated with glad wrap. Did you just correct that because of your triple J training? I can't say. Glad wrap is a brand. Oh no. It Can't say CloudRap's a brand. Oh no, it's that.

Well, Gladdy's a brand. So I thought people outside of Australia wouldn't know what it is. A clean wrap. Talking about that, those little fucking plastic rolls of shit. So get me fired up. Yeah, I do forget. I can. I can mention.

Brands issues here. It's not an inequality. You know, things that poverty is really annoying. Someone give me a tip and an exam when it what decades ago. I hate when people just suddenly stop in the middle of a footpath, like right in the middle and you're like, all right, I'll go around you. Yeah. Okay. I make a real song and answer that.

When people don't wave after you let them in. Oh yeah. You're an absolute dog. You piece of shit. You piece of shit. It's the same driving when they've cars like clearly just looking for a spot and they're just stopping and slowing in the mirror and you're like pull over and figure it out. Yeah. I'm meant to be somewhere else now.

Oh, something that really annoys me is I've got like a little mount for my phone. Yeah. It's like a magnet or anything that I put, you know, when I'm listening to something. I also got the maps open or whatever. Yeah. But the lead that charges the phone goes up over the dashboard and it's, it goes right over the play and pause button. Fantastic. So often the cable just bumps it and it will pause the podcast and I'll go, oh, play again and it will happen about five times in a minute.

And that really frustrates me. That's Brian from Iqiyah. Yeah. That's Brian's ideas. These are kind of petty grubs you want Paul because we got him. Because he didn't. He was talking about being on hold. Yeah, that's right.

No, I think it's. The other ones go without saying. I think the tone he's going for is like, there's little things that really get you. My all time one and you two are well aware of this. Oh. You're settling in. You know where I'm going. Please.

You're settling on the plane. Yep. You've selected a movie. They've gone through all the safety stuff. Everyone's. We're well and truly on the plane. Yeah, you've selected a movie. They've gone through all the safety stuff everyone's We're well truly in the air. We're in the air and then the pilot just likes to chirp in and For some reason that it's not optional if the if the part was there Some of those my feet and cruising at some of his feet and the destination weather is. And you're like, we're not going to be there for 10 hours.

I don't care what the weather is like. I can't change now. The clothes I've got are the clothes I've got. Yeah, there's a north westerly blowing in Heathrow now. I don't give a shit. I guess tell me writers were about to learn, but I still don't care because again, like this is what I wore. So I don't give a shit. And I still don't care because again, I like this is what I wore So I don't give a shit and I don't mind him saying it. Yeah, but just make it optional that the movie is paused

Yeah, I'm like it should be there should be two Streams all right the pilots Hey, I need to tell you something important for your safety right now that pulls the movie of course the other one is You know, maybe there's a I've got some inane bullshit to tell you. Just want to have a waffle. Yeah. I'm doing that because I think they only do it to just to make you all feel at ease. Like they're in control.

Right. That's the point of it. But I only felt that. Definitely know what I'm doing up here. You were just trying to watch cars. Yeah. Cars too. I'll move now.

Incredible's too. Incredible's too. Never, never got through it. Can I have, can I share one more that frustrates me? Of course. Incredible. Incredible. Incredible. So, never got through it. Can I share one more? Of course. That frustrates me. Okay, so a little while ago, the building managers of my apartment building decided to build

a new fence out the front and they built gates because they were annoyed that every now and then somebody would walk down a little pathway on the side of our building to cut the corner. They were annoyed that people did that so they put in a new fence and gates, which now means every single delivery cannot be delivered because they can't open the gate because there's no clear handle on the outside. You have to like reach through a gate to pull a latch to open the gate. So nobody- They've taken the smallest problem and they've turned into a bigger one.

And they're all old. So I'm like, are you not getting deliveries every time I order food? I have to go down to them because they're like, I'm stuck. I can't get in. I don't know. So what was the big deal about people cutting the corner? I have no idea. They were just annoyed that people were sort of like, this is that all the body corporate was. Yeah. Oh, that's funny.

So they've they've made themselves a bigger problem. Yeah. It is funny how people do get very, this is my patch. Yeah. Hey, what are you doing? Are you? But also like. Oh, you're here to give me a present, sorry. There's like 38 apartments.

You know, every single person who might come and go from that apartment. Like maybe one. And their friends and family. Maybe one or two people did it every now and then. I understand that's annoying. But now there's a loud gate that bangs every time somebody does come home and it's right out the front of somebody's bedroom.

It's funny. And it didn't always shit out of me. And I order Uber and they're always like, I can't get in. I'm like, you can. And they're like, I can't. And I'm like, fucking, I gotta go down the stairs. Thank you, body corporate. That's my head in.

Body corporates in general. I think they don't tend to be too good. No. Thank you so much. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. And think they don't tend to be too good. No Thank you so much. I'm gonna get that off my chest and thank you so much for that opportunity Paul Hmm, but he thinks Paul afforded you there. It was good Next one comes from Ben Johnson aka Schmoisen taste tester brackets not yet poisoned. Do you remember schmoisen? I can't quite remember what it was But it's an old reference to something Schmoisen

And I'm sorry Schmoisen Schmoisen I do remember Schmoisen, but I can't quite place it if Dave doesn't remember where Anyway, Ben is asking a question writing Hey guys, are you taking any time off Christmas slash New Year's season and what are you up to? Well, this is, we're now in late January, but what did we do? We did take some time off. We did take some time off.

But not, the podcast still kept coming out. Well, that's because, yeah, we are recording this before. Yeah. We're getting out of time. So this is probably coming out while we're still on holidays, if that makes you feel better Ben. But the episodes will come out because we never miss an episode. So now we're trapped in that cycle.

Well, I think that's I'm almost proud of it. I am proud of that. Almost. Almost, but sometimes. But yeah, we've taken some time off. Yeah. When's this one coming out? Let me have a look. I think it's like at 24th or something.

20. Oh yeah. I think mine would have been a pretty low key Christmas. I was in Melbourne this year with my side of the family catching up and then just chilling out. There was a couple of weeks off any work. So that was, I assume, lovely. Yeah. I hope it was.

I hope it will be. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just hanging in Melbourne, round at my folks place for Christmas, which they rotated with mum's brother and sister. It's nice. They were three-way rotation. Good to have three. That's good. You got a couple years off. That's good. Rather than one than the other. Yeah. So I look really forward to that. And then, yeah, probably head to the country for a bit of time over the years. I'll have headed to the beach and by the time this comes out I'll be back from a little

week in Tassie as well. Oh that's so nice. Very nice. Yeah. I don't know why I said country. I'm going to Brat. Country. It's country.

It's a very beautiful touristy town but it'll be super overcrowded but it'll be a lot of fun. Really nice. There's a reason everyone's there because it's a very beautiful touristy town, but it'll be super overcrowded, but it'll be a lot of fun Really nice. There's a reason everyone's there cuz it's nice great town. I mean it Our family has been good, you know, we go we go back there You know all of a sudden these city slickers are coming up there for their holidays like alright Here we go. This is my slice of paradise. I put up a gate because people cut through. It's so annoying. But my folks have, I don't know,

I've talked about this on the podcast before. They've got like a caravan site there and they're knocking them all down. So the bright dream for us might, we won't get up there as much as we used to. Because it's getting too expensive because it's getting so popular. It's only for the fucking, you know,

the 1% is like you two probably be a girl. You'd probably still heading up there. Yeah, I'll still be going to Bright. I bought Bright. Oh, you bought it? Yeah, I bought Bright. I bought it at Bright. I said, how much?

Yeah, I got that in the car. I'll keep the change. But I can't wait. Love getting up there and yeah, watching a bit of cricket. Oh yeah. Pakistan's coming out, West Indies. I don't know if there'll be great challenges to Australia, Dave. What do you reckon?

Of course. I mean, you never want to say that. Yeah. Do you want my opinion too? Yeah. I reckon everyone's going to have fun. I hope so. I only asked Dave because he's a cricket man.

And then we're into the Aussie open. We've got the tennis happening. Yes. Yeah, it's a beautiful time in Australia, in Melbourne. Summer's here, baby. Can't wait. I'll actually, I would have already been to Perth for the fringe world over there. Oh, wow.

That's really early this year. Yeah, it's in Jan and then I'll be going to Adelaide soon. Shit, that's exciting. I'm seeing a bit of this wide brand land. Lovely stuff. Anyway, I always ask people to ask a question, answer their question. And Ben has done so writing, in my new job, it's a lot more difficult to listen to podcasts while working.

So I've started to fall behind and have a bit of a backlog. Thankfully, I've got some tight, yeah, he's still back where Schmoisen was a reference. Yeah, that's right. He's not going to hear this till Easter. Thankfully, I've got some time off in December that I'm going to use to relax, build some big Lego sets that I've raised, which I mean, similar to painting small figurines, I think it's really cool. And I don't know, whatever. I felt so stupid after sounding like I was judging that guy. I still think of him as a cool guy. No, it was just unexpected from that person.

Yeah, no, I understand that. You were sort of like, oh yeah, okay, well, if that's what you like to do, go for it. But you didn't expect that person to be doing it. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, Lego sets that I've obviously wasted money on and catch up on those podcasts. I'm currently building the Lego Sanctum Sanctorium Sanctum Sanctorum from Doctor Strange, as opposed to the the Oxford Dictionary guy. What was his the script or the script?

Saying that and he's also listening to Matt remembers the bonus episode about the trip to America. Then I've got three episodes of two of the think tanks and weekly plan and a whole bunch of others to enjoy. You've got your work cut out for you on holidays. It's a holiday. This sounds like buddy nine to five. Yeah, you better be getting up bright and early, my friend. By the time you're reading this, I've probably finished those Lego sets and got a new backlog of podcasts to catch up on.

Give up the good work, love you guys and happy 2024. Thank you, Ben. Thank you, Ben. Thank you, Ben. Happy 2024. Hopefully your wedded bliss continues. He got married or engaged? Remember, he showed us his ring when we were in England?

Definitely engaged, I think. I mean, his engagement ring, Not his butthole. Can they stay in? I don't know. That's the only question, Ben. I feel like I don't know why, but I'm losing my mind. All right. Is this the last one this week?

From Katie Watson. Now Katie Kalu must change my patron name after getting married. Katie Kalu. Katie Kalu. Hello, Katie Kalu. That name rules. Katie from Katie Watson again, I'd say a rock sod great name, but Katie Kalu. That's all of a sudden you're opening doors for Katie Kalu.

Katie Kalu, how do you do? opening doors for Katie Kalu. Katie Kalu, how do you do? And Katie's given themselves the title of certified do go on file storage organizer. Oh, thank God. Ask him. Yeah, thank you. A question. Hey, Aussie mates, I wanted to ask you if you ever have had a spooky or paranormal experience

and has answered this? Do you want me to read her answer first? Yeah. Now, Mrs. Kalu does not usually mess with ghosts. Oh, I love a bit of third person. Yeah, I love that. Well, there hasn't been a Mrs. Kalu in these parts for so many years. In fact, I'm absolutely terrified of anything paranormal, but lately I've discovered a YouTube

channel called the Overnight Channel in which a group of guys stay overnight in haunted locations. Last night I was woken up at 3am by a little noise that sounded like a whisper, but I couldn't work out what it was saying. When I looked up at the wall there was also a little red square flashing. Kind of reminded me of those little cat laser pens you can get. I have no idea what it could have been. Anyway, I'm now concerned I've let some sort of demon in after watching the show and I will now be retiring from watching anything spooky ever again. That's a good call.

Oh, that's fun. I love, I kind of, I don't really believe in it, but I want to. And I love the idea of there being more, you know? It's like I see a ghost, I'm like, holy shit. There's so much stuff that I don't understand. I will haunt you if I'm given the opportunity to. That'd be really great if you could. I want you to know that, both of you.

I mean, you do. Me too? Yeah, but I'm gonna specifically haunt your bathroom, Dave. What if I don't? So you're always like, oh, I need to poop. I really need to go. I think Shower and she's in there. Don't look, Jess knows. But I'll be looking.

No, that was great. That was too creepy. I'll keep the kitten close, thank you. Yeah, I'm a ghost idiot. I can go anywhere. I have a shower curtain now, but I'll have a toilet curtain then. Yeah. I said, I. I have a shower curtain now, but I'll have a toilet curtain then. Yeah.

I said, I remember after my granddad died, and I don't know if this was just me. I'm guessing now that it was just my brain trying to comfort me, but the night of his funeral, I felt like he was sitting at the end of my bed. Right? I could feel it.

It felt like he was sitting there. Yeah, that's nice. And it was really nice and comforting. Yeah. But looking back, I'm, and I fully believe that it was, it happened for a while, but looking back, I'm guessing I was just, you know,

my brain gave myself a bit of comfort, but whatever. I guess it's that same sort of thing we've said about like psychics and that before, like if it brings you comfort, Yeah. Then I don't see any harm. And they're not asking you to make a monthly. That's it.

The ones that are like really exploiting your life. Exploiting. Savings into whatever. Yeah. I love India's funny that we are thanking the people that do give monthly. Donations, they're podcasters of course, very above board. Not explosive at all. Not at all.

I haven't had any, I don't think any sort of paranormal experiences. My partner, he and his family used to go to a house in Golben in New South Wales that go there a bit and he is convinced it was haunted and had like several sort of weird experiences there. And he keeps saying like, we'll go one day. And I'm like, fuck no. Hell no. He's like, nah, I'll be fine. I'll be with day and I'm like fuck no hell no he's like no be fine I'll be with you and I don't give a shit why would I get it okay you can

go on a romantic getaway with him then thank you great no thank you now I don't know you talk about with Aiden yeah I'd go anyway with Aiden his book he wrote a book about like, what do you call it reincarnation stuff. Yes, yeah. Love that sort of stuff. But what was it called again? Secret life of pets? Reincarnation of Tom. Reincarnation of Tom.

Thank you very much. You'll never guess the main character's name, Greg. But I was on, I think in November, I was on Tom Tran's podcast called Spooky Funny, Scary Funny, Scary Funny and it and they showed Tom showed me photos that made me think I'm like, if you're if people are in there, in the rest of that sort of stuff, he showed me photos that really made me think, holy shit, if this is real, then wow. Yeah, cool.

Uh, I was, um, yeah, it made me feel something. I don't do spooky. I'm too easily scared. Dave. Uh, I've not had any paranormal activities or, uh, sort of things from beyond, but I did the, one of the scariest places I've ever been was about 15 years ago when I was what about 18 or so myself and two other friends. It was not my idea. No, three other friends went to the Rondle, which was an infamous abandoned like mental asylum that had been

abandoned for a long, long time. And we went there at night, like midnight or something. And it was scary because of like, you know, it was dark. There's holes in the wall. There's like lots of graffiti going on in there. And it's it was going on. Yes. In front of you. No, there is. But that's the thing that there's probably other people in there because it's so big. And it was very, very scary.

Yeah. And I believe it has since been knocked down and turned into a Coles shopping center. Whoa. The Spookiest thing of all. But yes, that was the only time I've ever been anywhere that other people, that you would go if you're like a paranormal hunter. And it was terrifying. That's sick. But you love X-Files and stuff like that?

Love the X-Files, but I like that because it's not too scary. I don't really like scary movies or horror movies really at all, but I do love the X-Files. Yeah. But I love their balance of humor and also, I don't know, shock, I guess. Yeah. Great. Well, thank you so much for that question. Katie Kaluu and Kaluu to you too.

Katie Kaluu to you. And Ben and Paul and Amy, appreciate that. Yeah. So, Sydney Schoenberg level, if you you wanna get involved in the facts, quotes and questions. The next thing we like to do is shout out and thank a few of our other great supporters. We normally thank three each. Justin only comes up with a game

based on the topic of the day. I thought it could be what they are the mother of. Oh yeah, great. Everyone's mother. Do you have a mother generator? Oh, look it up. That can't be possible, can it? No.

No, this time I'll use it up. That can't be possible. No, this time I'll use my imagination. So if I can kick us off. Yes. I'd love to thank from Panorama in South Australia, Emily Orbury. Oh, that's a great name. Emily Orbury. And both spells differently to you expect. Yeah.

Yeah, well done. Emily Orbury, the mother of you expect. Yeah. Yeah, well done. Emily Orbury, the mother of? Swiss cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. The holiest of mothers. That's something. That is something.

That is something. That mother Teresa. Thank you so much, Emily. Emily, and I should say, if anyone's listening going, I've been signed up and should have had a shout out some time. Because at the moment, the wait's about four or five months. If you've been on for longer than that, Emily was patiently waiting for about 18 months and just recently- Oh, I thought at one stage it was around 18 months.

It got out really long, but it's like it's about six months or less now. Okay, great. So yeah, if you've been a patron for six months or more and you don't think you've had your shout out. DM me on Patreon. That's the best place to do it because I will double check for you. Yeah. And yeah, no stress at all if you are worried. Anyone who's worried, please just message and say, hey, just. Matt's never going to respond to be like, I'm idiot. Shut up. You know, he's very nice. It'll either be potentially you've missed it, but potentially like with Emily, I've missed it. Yeah.

And I'd hate to think that I've missed you. And if you've missed it, we can tell you which episode it was. Exactly. Wow. One time someone said, don't tell me exactly, because I want to listen back. But can you give me a basic idea? OK, yeah.

I'm like, so I got like a rain, a 10 episode. Right. I think I'm gonna write sometime in the first 400 episodes. I wanted to be surprised. That's cute. Very cute. Also, may I thank from Dublin in Ireland, it's Jay Dini. Jay Dini. Great name. Jay Dini. Now Jess is our isle file. Yes, I'm an Isla file. Aaron file. I don't know what the word is. Yep. And so you can finish this for me.

The mother of- Tin whistle. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's, can you play a little bit? I can. But not, you need a tin whistle. I don't have a tin whistle on me right now.

I think it's one of my noises. Yeah, I think it should be. Okay. It's hoping for this. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Oh, it's good. Ship to shore. Yes. I love it. Very good. What a show.

Did you know Ship to shore was on the tin whistle? I didn't know that. I didn't know. It wasn't initially. That was the B side. Yeah, the B side was on the tin whistle. I bought the vinyl. That is, wow.

Brought back a lot of memories, thank you. What is the Irish equivalent of Anglo file is what I'm looking at. What is the Irish equivalent of Anglo file is what I'm looking at. What is the Irish equivalent of ship to shore? What's their ship to shore called? Oh, it's a hibernophile. What? Hibernophile. There you go.

Never heard of it. Cool. Um, that's beautiful. Thank you, Jaydeni. And finally for me, if I may, I'd love to thank from San Bernardino, California, JD 984. Oh, JD 984 is of course the mother of... Simi. Simi.

Simians. Simians. Mother of Simians. Wow. Simi. I thought I'm on a back mass of an old corner there. Simi, Simians. Simians. Mother of Simians. Wow. Simiiiins.

I thought I might have a back-muss over in a corner there. Simians. I love that hum. Yeah. I know when you start saying a word, it just comes out as a word. Yeah. But for me, it often is a sound. It is.

And it's fun. It is fun to see where it goes. Fun to see, fun to hear, fun to watch. Yeah, Simi. Simiiiins. Simiiiins. Yeah, fun to hear, fun to watch. Yes. Simmy. Simmy. Simmy. Yeah, JD984, mother of Simmy. May I thank some people?

Oh my god, that would be so great. It wouldn't be all right. It would be fantastic. Thank goodness. I would love to thank from, oh, location unknown. Oh, OK. It's weird. It's mysterious.

Can only assume deep within the fortress of the Moles. I would love to thank Elise Trewick. Did you say Trewick? Elise Trewick. Trewick. Trewick Trewick. I don't know. Trewick maybe.

Trewick. I know that. Yeah. If it was in England, they just often get rid of the wick, don't they? What's one of the wicks? And they just say check. Probably if it was English, it should probably be Elise Tra. They have so many letters and don't pronounce any of them.

Yeah. Neither do we though to be fair. Huh? Elise. Jim, I used to do a bit about I was thinking about it before how it'd be like Irish people don't pronounce. We pronounce every little bit of a word whereas Irish people don't. He's like, you know, you hear you say flower. They say flower. We say flower. Yeah.

Flower. You say flower. Flower. Flower. Flower. Flower. Beautiful country. Beautiful country. That'd be the, is he North Irish? North. Yeah. Elise is, of course, the mother of. Whiteboards. Whiteboards, whiteboards.

Yeah. Cop that blackboards. Yeah, exactly. That chalk annoying. Hard to write with. Yeah, it makes it a horrible set. Hard to wipe off. Whiteboard marker, beautiful.

Oh my gosh. Love that squeak. Glides. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep speakers in the room. Oh, fuck. That was a permanent marker. God damn it. Fuck, that was permanent chalk. You never heard that. That's why blackboards are superior. Okay. Yes, you're right. Yes. Yeah. Thank you, Elise. Elise, you fucked it. I would also love to think from Face Safety Bay in Western Australia, Caitlin Berry. Sound like they're over-comersing calling it Safety Bay.

Safety Bay. You know some bad shits going down there. Oh yeah. No, no, this is Safety Bay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no minutes ago. Yeah. Hi, Bernier was the word ancient Romans referred to Ireland with. So that's why I have a bonafile. I bonafile. And the and the and of course, hi, burn a foe, people who hate the O. Oh, well, I challenge you to find me a hi, burn a foe and I'll punch him in the jaw.

You're a big hi, burn a file. Big time. Yeah. Maybe too much. Yeah. Turn it down. Caitlin Berry. Caitlin Berry. What a name. Of.

Pearl. Mother of Pearl. What does that mean? That's something, isn't it? Yeah. What is it? It's like a it's the mother of pearl. Oh.

It's the mother of the mother of pearl. Mother of the mother of pearl. Mother of the mother of pearl. Right. Mother of pearl. Is that substance that you have on seashells? Yeah, it's an organic, inorganic, composite material. Obviously, you idiot. How do you not know these things?

Also known as Naka. Oh, Naka. Is that where that comes from? Yes. Mother of Naka. Naker. It's kind of like, you know, it gives it a bit of a shimmery, pearlescent sort of look. Pearlescent. Love that. It's knacker or knackray. N-A-C-R-E.

Probably knackray. Mate, I'm absolutely knackered right now. I'm knackrayed right now. I've got mother of pearl all over my face. I wonder if I... Oh, no. You're right to look at me like that, Jess. I didn't know where that was going, and then I sat and you were right to look at me much like that. Oh't know where that was going and then I said you're right to look at me much like that.

Oh, I didn't mean it like that. I was just saying the words. Just let me move on. I wonder if Caitlyn Berry would be able to find any mother of pearl on Safety Beach where they're from. I assume so. Safety Bay. Safety Bay.

Sorry. Safety Beach. That's somewhere else. That's in Victoria, I believe. Anyway, I would also love to thank also from Western Australia this time in Eglinton. I would love to thank also from Western Australia this time in egg linton. I would love to thank Sarah Sarah Sarah Sarah is the mother of Don Johnson the old actor. Yeah, Dakota Johnson's dad Dakota Johnson's dad.

Yeah, so here's the Dakota Johnson's grandmother Sarah. There you go. Yep. Dakota Johnson and an actor Don Johnson's also. So, Dakota Johnson's grandmother is Sarah. There you go. Yep. So, who's Dakota Johnson? An actor, Don Johnson's daughter. Oh, yep. I should have put two and two together. Yeah.

So, there you go, Sarah. You're a grandmother. Is that what you wanted? Congratulations. Thank you for supporting the show. We're losing our minds. Your granddaughter's very successful. Don Johnson is a great name.

Don Johnson. Don Johnson. We had friends recently have a baby and named him Don. Just so good. How good is that? That's a baby Don Don Bruce. We've got a friend called the kids Bruce recently rules. Don't we Bruce? Who?

I don't know if I don't know what someone who's been on the show before. I don't know if they have. I don't know if we'd I don't know. I can't know what someone who's been on the show before I don't know if they have I don't know if. What I don't know I can't think of who it is that's exciting tell me later okay. Um Dave do you want to thank some people I would like to thank from location unknown probably also deep within that fortress it's a big fortress. I like to thank Luke Watson Luke Watson mother of. Luke Watson, mother of jugs. Oh yeah. Oh wow, mother of jugs.

Mother of jugs, what are you talking about? Beer jugs. So, you're mother of jugs. Beer jugs, yes. Beer jugs. Yep, give me another jug. Can I get a round of jugs? Water jug.

Water jug. Yes, any jug, all jugs. Yes, there's a jug of water over there. You talking tits? No! Come on. Come on, babe. Get out of there. I thought tits were the funniest one to say. Are we talking tits? Are we talking tits? Tits

We're talking That's like I zoned out for a second, but I'm back now. I heard Jugs, we talking bits. We talking, well, we talking bits. I bought it, we talking bits. I heard the Jugs, I was talking bits. What's wrong with that? We'll get another episode or a group. I know, it's, I'm in so much pain. I would like to also thank from Hastings, Hastings on Hudson in New York.

Lisa Vance. Oh, Vance. Mother of Holly Valance. Oh, yes. Oh, wow. Kiss, kiss. Yeah. And Lisa Holly didn't want to, you know, just cruise off her mother's name.

So that's why she added the Al. Al. She added the Al. Al. She added the Al into Vance. At first, she was going to be Holly L. Vance. Yeah. No, I'm Holly Vance. Whoa, Holly, you've done it. It's good stuff. I can see you being on neighbors for multiple seasons. Yeah.

I think she married a billionaire, so good on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's fine. She's doing well. And also from the United States of America, this time in Texas, in Converse, I'd like to thank Mario Valdes. Is that where the shoes come from? Probably. Wow, that's cool. I don't know. Mario Valdes. Holy shit, what a name. Incredible name. Mother, all right. Let's do a three-worder.

I'll say mother of Dave, Jess, back to me. Mother of Christmas. Oct to me. Mother of Christmas octopus sounds. Wow. Actually, I think that's in the top thousand. Is that Christmas octopus sounds? Well, yes. How's the Christmas octopus sound again? Well, you know how I feel about Christmas in January.

I've kicked the Christmas tree at the front door. Don't give a shit about it anymore. But all year round, I'm there for octopus Christmas, which to me is a different thing entirely. Well, this is what the octopus Christmas sounds like. Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle He's doing the tentacles with his hands. It's a lot of mouth. Oh, yeah. We found him.

I'm getting the phone. That was very good. Yeah, that was very good. That was lovely. That was beautiful.. Yeah, that was very good. That was beautiful. Thank you for that. Whoa, I genuinely, that felt like I passed out for a bit there. Me too. Yeah.

Thank you so much to Mario, Lisa, Luke, Sarah, Caitlin, Elise, JDJ and Emily. And the last thing we need to do, Bob, is welcome in a solo inductee into the Trieptich Club. Now you explained this so well, I think. Thank you. Well, the way the Trieptich Club works is if you support the show for three consecutive years on the shout out level or above, you are automatically inducted into the Trieptich Club. Once you're in, you cannot leave.

You're in for life. And it's sort of like a cool exclusive lounge. Like a like one of those billionaire gentlemen. Holy glances probably. Holy glances got one. Absolutely. And Matt's behind the he's at the door. He's got the velvet rope. He's going to lift it for you to bring you in.

He's going to tick your name off. Dave always books a band. I'm behind the bar this week. I have made tiny little miniatures of an assortment of cocktails and little tiny snacks, but also little dead bodies. Holy shit. Yeah. That run to the end there, that was cute as shit. Actually, little dead bodies could be cute. They're cute dead bodies. Yeah. Anything smaller is cute. That's right. So like a huge dead body, not cute. Creepy. A tiny little is cute. That's right. So like a huge dead body, not cute.

Creepy. A tiny little dead body. That's cute. We're getting the cute territory. Yep. But little, I mean, are we talking like the cocktail glasses are tiny as well? Teeny tiny. Teeny tiny little muttini glasses.

Yeah. Oh, very cute. I'm all in on this. I've got little tiny cocktail shakers. And so I'm just going to be like, They sound like they're going to be a nightmare to make. Oh yeah, big time. There will be long lines. Three drops. little tiny cocktail shakers and so I'm just gonna like, tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch- And Dave, you know, we book a band. Yeah, you're never gonna believe it. Why? Obviously we're talking about Nutshell's Love in this week's episode. Yes. I couldn't believe that they said yes.

And obviously the Who from all the CSI. Yeah, couldn't believe that D's Nuts said yes to me. Wow. D's Nuts. We got the D's Nuts. Yeah, great to have an Australian band in. We got the D's. We got the D's Nuts.

Well done. That's huge. That's a great booking. Yeah. The who didn't write back. So really? That's not surprising. So then I say who?

Yeah, exactly. That's who you are now to us. Yeah. Who? You mean nothing to us. You're not the who. You're just who. Yeah.

So there's one name to come in this week. Fantastic stuff. When you hear it jump on in. Let me lift this velvet rope. Come in, have a great time. Grab yourself a tiny drink or 10 or 20. However many you want. And get ready for the entertainment of these nuts.

Not these nuts, the band these nuts. And Dave's also on the stage. He's about to hype you up with a bit of a weak word play. Jess will hype up Dave. All right. So are we ready? One inductee this week. Here we go. Please make them welcome from Wellsville in Utah in the United States. It's Allison Paul.

I don't feel Allison Paul. I feel Allison Rich. We're all in Wellsville tonight. Yeah, wealthy'sville. Yeah, let it rain. Take it, take on D's nuts. Two, 24. All right, thank you to everyone that was inducted there, Alison, just recapping. That brings us to the end of the episode.

Jess, what do we need to tell before we go? Just that we love them so much. And we're sorry for what we said. We still love you. Yeah, whatever we said. We don't always like you. I swear to myself. But we always love you.

I don't mean it. I just want you back for good. That's right. If you would like to suggest a topic, you can. There's a link in our show notes or go to our website, dogoonpod.com. And anybody to suggest a topic, you can. There's a link in our show notes or go to our website, dogoonpod.com. And anybody can suggest a topic. You can find us on social media at do go on pod or do go on podcast on TikTok.

That's right. And remember to wash behind your ears and your butt. Oh, Dave, be at home. To Americans, that's your fanny. You fanny. Hey, we'll be right next week with another episode. But until then, also, thank you so much for listening and goodbye.

Bye. Bye.