Do Go On - 435 - The Great Reality Show Swindle

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Reality TV was taking the world by storm in around the turn of the century, but when a group of English fame seekers applied for this show, things were not all as they seemed! Tune in to hear Sammy P tell this tale!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 11:06 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at doogleonpod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right.

I'm doing shows with Sarenjay Manar who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattsduickcomedy.com. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Jess Perkins and as always I'm joined by my lover, I mean co-host Matt Stewart. Jess, the mask slipped. Can we edit that out? I think we probably should edit that out. We don't want the people talking about the truth.

And once again this week, Dave Warnock has chosen to not turn up to work. We assume he's fine. Yes, and we really want you to stop asking because that makes us feel like you don't trust us. Yeah, he's fine. Everyone's okay. Yeah. And we're delighted to be joined by friend of the show, comedian, podcaster, Sam Peterson.

Oh, third wheel Sam Peterson when I came here, you two were hot and heavy. That's why it took us a while to start because you two were on. Yeah, it took us a while to start. Yes, we had to finish. And I was like skipping, you know, when you like trying to get in waiting for the beat to get in and I was like, let's get involved. The beat didn't arrive and I just waited and watched two of my friends make love. We worked to our own rhythm. Which I think is so lovely. It's nice. It felt nice having you there though. Yeah, I felt seen. Yeah.

Not seen at the same time. Yeah, we felt seen. Yeah, not seen at the same time. Yeah, we felt seen. I regret it. And we liked it. I regret it so much. No, it's fun. The way that you're explaining that Dave Warnocky, like you're making it so weird by over explaining.

He's fine. What do you mean? He is fine. He's actually fine. Well, I know he's fine. We've had all these messages where people being like, where's Dave, is he okay?

You guys are being suss. And we're like, and so then you have to like. I actually have heard, I've got a text from him and I'll read it now. Okay. It just says this from Dave Warner. He actually came to this morning and he said, don't worry. I'm fine. That's all it said. Yeah. So he's fine. Had you, had you heard from him? Like a year. I can. So context that is a bit concerning. Right. He said it's fine though. So I wouldn't worry about it. It wasn't his like usual way he texts or anything yeah lots of memes mostly to mr. Burns means if there's one thing I know about Dave Wannack it's that

he loves a gif react so he just sends a lot of gifts yeah love her eyes love her love her eyes by her moji by her little like bit moji of him yes and it just says under it's called it, and it just says, It's called a bit emoji. And then it goes, slay all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Off-hunt, go off-huntie. He just sends that.

I'm like, oh, I'm five minutes late and he just sends that and I'm like, great. Yeah, right. And now it's just, I'm fine. Yeah. I think he's doing fine. I think he's doing good. So we're delighted to have you here instead. Oh, thanks, an absolute honor.

Thank you. I do want to. I mean, it's, yeah, Dave probably wouldn't say this, even if he could. But how good is it to be alive? Yeah. I'm loving it's yeah, Dave probably wouldn't say this even if you could but how good is it to be alive? I'm loving it. Yeah, he's a little tied up right now. Let's just say that yeah I don't know anything. No, no, don't make it same. I don't know anything weird Sam. Okay. I haven't Sam do you know have you listened to this show before? I've been on it many times before. Do you think you would be able to explain it to any new listeners?

I've listened to it many, many times before. Do you think you would be able to explain it to any new listeners? Absolutely. Wonderful people, Dave, Jess or Matt, take it in turns to read out a report every single week and at the start, they have to ask a gorgeous little question for the others to guess what the report is about. How's that for a- That was actually very good. That was the best of all times.

That's embarrassing. I was reading it off a teleprompter. I've got my teleprompter friend here. I was wondering what he was doing. He always comes with me. I'm that kind of podcast. That's the sort of money I'm making these days. Wow.

You got teleprompter money? I got teleprompter money. Oh, shit. Not a lot of people have that teleprompter money, but got that sweet cash. Because you've got your own podcast empire. I got two podcasts. Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

I thought you had three. No, I got two. I got two. What are you I thought you had three. Now I got two. I got two. What are you thinking? Am I the asshole? That's awesome. That's the same podcast. So I got Confessions and then Am I the asshole is a fortnightly little spin off on that

channel. Okay. You named it differently, but you don't think of it as a different podcast. I don't think it is a different thing. I want it to be. I want it to be the same. Yeah. Same thing.

So it doesn't feel like I'm doing as much, but I've actually committed to three podcasts. That is a third podcast thing. It doesn't matter what feed you're putting in. Yeah. I'd say it is a third podcast. So I do that and I've got, uh, yes, I do that with a one, like one guest each week and then two guests. I was trying to adjust the other day. It's exhausting. I've been doing it for six, this is my sixth year this year of confessions. I have to get two guests every single week. I tell you, sometimes that's exhausting. That's why I'm always eight weeks

ahead. You've got to be eight weeks ahead. I bank them. For who knew it, I record the week of. And you can tell. For the most part. And you can tell. And I'm only a year or so in and it's, yeah, but I have two or three guests. But you're relaxed about it. I am maybe too relaxed about it.

But I love that, I love that it comes out. Josh Ode's the same thing, he's always like that week. I think it's so stressful. I couldn't do it with two guests, I feel like I get, well I mean I'm saying that to you when you've got three. But yeah, I would like to get ahead and I think I will in life. You absolutely will get ahead in life. You know your first ever guest was me.

It was you and the actor Stephen Curry. And for some weird reason, I didn't get invited to the big party. You did, you did. Is that what Matt and I always beefing about something. And at the moment, this is me and Matt beefing about this because I did invite you to the big 300th episode party. Got lost in the mail, I guess. Hmm. You have your current address. I'm so sorry. You probably assumed I'd be just as fast one. 300th episode party got lost in the mail I guess

address I'm so sorry You did explain the show very well, and are you actually doing the report this I'm doing the report this week I'm super excited about this report. We are We don't have to do the work. That's so good. I love that. Jesteed also check on me as well to go. How's the report coming on? Because I think that's really good,

because I imagine sometimes it gets down to the wire. Oh, it gets down to the wire. I finished mine that we're recording after this last night. On your drive on the way here. You were driving, typing on the Apple goggles. Which is actually legal and fine. Yeah, it's a normal and cool thing. Well, how could they possibly have outlawed it already?

That's just brand new. You've got to get in here in the loophole period. Yeah, that's right. No, I did check on you only because, you know, we write these every month, you know, every three weeks we're writing these for nearly 10 years or whatever. Like, you know, we know how it works. Yeah. When you're asking a person to come in and be on your podcast

and do all the work, I just thought maybe I'd see if you were okay or yeah. Imagine if I was saying, you're like, what's a word for game? Like, I'm just going to you as a thesaurus. I'm going, I need to do need help with this. I need to put the pictures around the words so I understand them. How do you write this again? What's this? What's this? I'm looking at the below in the same.

Yeah. And you put full stops after every sentence. Yeah. That's exhausting? What's the structure of the paragraph? Yeah. And you put full stops after every sentence? Yeah. That's exhausting. Every sentence. You're getting me right now. Every single one. You don't have to.

You're reading it. That's fun. You write it as you want it to be written. You know that wonderful book Cloud Street by Australia's own Timothy Winton? He doesn't have punctuation in that. Really? Yeah, and it's wild to read it. I hope that's correct. At uni I read one

that was about Ned Kelly or something. Yeah. It was like, you know, written from the perspective of Ned Kelly and it had no punctuation and it was, it hurt my brain. Why did they do that? Well, it hadn't been invented by the time of Ned Kelly. Yeah. Punctuation. Punctuation. I didn't know that. And I think Cloud Street was set in Ned Kelly's time. I didn't know that. And I think Cloud Street was set in Ned Kelly's time. Was it a story about Ned Kelly's surfing? It was. Yeah.

It's all about him surfing. Surfing him. Yeah, in Western Australia. Tim Winton is so funny. What a great author. The sand in Ned's beard. He popped up as a... Stuff like that.

Yeah. You know, suggested friends the other day on Facebook popped up as Tim Winton was a suggested friend for me. Wow. Yeah, I wanted to add him but I was concerned about his punctuation. We've replaced a Dave with another Jess and Matt type character. Oh yeah, that's terrifying. We really needed to bring in Sam can only replace me or you. Alright, I'll be Dave. Okay, you're gonna have to to be Dave. I'll be Dave if you want. I said I'll be Dave. He's fine. That's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very. Dave, please. So as you mentioned, Sam, we get onto it with a question. Do you have a question to get us onto the topic? I'm going to go with just a little two-part of question. I'm also really sure how to do this in a way.

The question is the hardest part. The question is the hardest part. OK. Question one, hands on buzzers if you know the answers. Yeah, ready. What genre of television took over in the early 2000s with the rise of reality TV. Correct. Okay. Okay. You didn't have any buzzer.

Yes, one that one. Very good. My point to Jess is I've got points throughout this. Oh yeah. So my buzzer is saying reality TV. Okay. So what's your answer? What's your answer? Quiz show.

Buzzer. My answer is buzzer. If that's okay. My answer is ah. Question. I remember actually, I'll just say this real quickly, when Matt was the first guest on my podcast ever and it's all about online confessions and the first time that came on, I kept calling it a game and Matt through the whole thing is just going, this is not a game. There is no winning here. This is not a game. There is no winning. This is not a game. How does one score points in this game?

It was my first podcast. I didn't know what I was doing. Question two, what is a word to describe a fraudulent act mostly as I like to think of it carried out by a fancy businessman in a top hat? Reality TV. No, that's his buzzer. Yes. Oh, sorry. Oh, my God. Yeah. I wasn't really listening listening but it sounded like white collar crime or something fraudulent activity or a fancy word to say it fancy word

Yeah, a scam That's quite a start start with an s. I will tell you that starts with a nice candle close very close Dammit shamosal rhymes with twindle skin doll Swindle you got it. You think swindle fancy. I think it's I think swindle Swindle rhymes with twindle gave me nothing Twindle does make up a word Also, is that word? Does make up a word. Maybe.

I'll tell it real quickly. I think I said Skindle thingy scandal and with an accent before I finally came to Swindle. Reality TV Swindle. The reality now look this has been suggested by quite a few people. Sammy Peters from Melbourne Australia. That's the end of the list. I just thought I'd do that as a bit of fun because you know, you usually do that with people suggesting. Can I see if anyone else can do it?

That went down like a lead balloon, but I thought that would be quite fun. I've got better stories. I'm just working on workshop and stuff today on your podcast. Thank you. It's a good place to workshop. Right, place. Jeff Perkins and Matt Stewart, please do pull up a pew. As I share with you one of my favorite stories of all time, the great reality TV swindle. Now, either of you have a favorite reality TV show growing up. Were you into reality TV?

I mean, I was a big fan of The Villa. It was an English show and it was so stupid, but it was like. Red bad review. They mostly are the reviews are in. But it was like a I think it was like a compute the other conceit was a computer matched up couples and they lived in this maybe it was a Spanish villa or something for a weekend. Yeah. Fancy way to say house.

But it was it was narrated by Australian comedian who who's been English Fancy way to say house but it was it was narrated by Australian comedian who who's been English England based from time? Joe not Joe little what's his name? He played Joe Mangal on neighbors, but his name is little Matt little oh really? And it was he was I thought it was so funny. Yeah, it's like a very sarcastic kind of like come down with me style Yeah, yeah, just like every he's sort of you know very sarcastic kind of like come down with me style. Yeah. Yeah. Just like he's sort of, you know, being sarcastic and ironic throughout there. But I just found that so fun. I don't, I imagine it probably doesn't hold up.

But at the time, you know, 20 years ago or something, I thought it was a lot of fun. One time Matt Little, so he was on Neighbours, quite a famous comedian in Australia for a while and he went out to the UK. He had a son who started doing stand up around the time that you and I met Matt and he he was called like he was like a rapper comedian. Oh, yeah. Do you remember him? Oh, maybe.

Well, it wasn't Milky T. Milky T. It was. Yeah. Milky T is that little son. And I was like, how fun's that? Oh, I did not know that. English comedian.

He was really funny. He was really, I don't know what happened to Milky T. It's a great name, Milky T. Oh, yeah, I don't know what happened to Milky T. It's a great name, Milky T. Yeah, I did not know that connection. Yeah, it's Matt Little's pride and joy. I don't recognise this guy at all. Oh yeah, he's great. Did you have a favourite reality TV? Jess, were you into reality TV?

I've never been into reality TV. Yeah, it's not for you. No, not really. No, to zone out, I put on questions. It comes. I've watched eight million times. Well, in the stage newspaper in 2002, an advertisement was printed that read new reality TV show seeks contestants one year, one hundred thousand pounds. A year.

A year. So you've got to commit to a full year to get 100,000 pounds. The advertisement called for the public to apply if they were characterful, which I believe you are. Characterful. Characterful. Is that a word? Yep. Okay.

It's like twindle. Sure. You know, I own that TM as well. Characterful. I'm earning a lot of money out of dictionaries. You're saying I'm characterful. You are characterful. That is very kind of you. Resourceful energetic. Dictic from Jess Peckins.

I would say all that about you. I haven't heard of energetic. I think it's energyful. That's another word to you. And resource-gic. In 2002, the world was obsessed with reality television. I was also 12, so I probably shouldn't have gone on a year-long reality television. You should not have done that.

You just sent away. I'm hearing a lot of reasons why not, but what about a few reasons why? No, so far. You could have been a star. Oh, you've got you could have been a star. A child star. Ordinary people became huge stars overnight.

Here in Australia, we had Sarah Marie, who was on Big Brother and known for what was she known for? The bum dance. The bum dance, hilarious. And she wore unbunny ears. Oh, she was big. She was big. Early days, Big Brother, they could be Regif, the fish and chip shop owner. Yep, yep, yep.

Who came back on a new season. Oh, really? Yeah. Blair? Blair went on to Neighbours. That's true. Yeah, that's right. Chrissy Swan.

Chrissy Swan. Famously Chrissy Swan. I was watching it too. Now a radio host. Yeah, a TV host. Multimedia host. But, a multi-media host. But she, Blair, I remember. You reaching out to hold my hand?

Yeah. This is nice. You can judge this since you do a new relationship. And Dave is fine. I was watching Tism clips the other night. And one of them. I love how much he loved them. One of the clips just features a whole lot of bands. It's like on this camera just rolls across

Yeah, all these bands are playing along the song and I'm sure one of the bands is Blair from oh, that's amazing That's interesting. I like that. I went from amazing to interesting. Yeah Amazing You've downgraded from Tornado to a bit of a breeze. Yeah. Matthew was on a gorgeous Damien Cowell from the band Tism. You were on a song of his.

It was. Isn't that cool? I forget that. It's so cool. I forget that. I listen to that album sometimes and I forget I'm on it and I'm like, oh, good. I'm really good. Who's that amazing singer?

In 2002, Kelly Clarkson, one American Idol. And as we all know, 2003, Rob Milsimils placed fifth in Australia's version of American Idol. Which Hands on Buzzers was called? Ah! New Zealand Idol. That is correct. You got that right.

Two points for Jess Berkins. Bit of a trick. You'd think it's Australia's base. It makes sense to call it that, but... Melzi? But, Melzi and Cali's still Oliverax, so now... Do you think Melzi is maybe the biggest star from Australian reality TV? That's a huge thing to say. Rob Melzi-Melzi, you get to say the full.

Yeah, Rob Melzi-Melzi. That's his handle. Who would be the biggest? I'll get Kasi Donovan. Kasi Donovan, yeah. Anthony Kallela. Yeah. Please, that's how you say it.

Yep. Kallela. Yeah, please. I say Kalella. Kalella. And I have a great thing to. But I mean, out of all even big brothers on a Chrissy Swan, maybe. Yeah. Who'd be the Chrissy Swan? Who's had the biggest from Australian?

I would just do it also from reality TV in general. And I guess Chrissy Swan will be the biggest. I think. Yeah, probably. What about trying to hold my hand again? Uh, Stop holding hands. The blonde lady who was in a Blink One Eight Two film clip.

Sophie Marnie. Sophie Marnie. Thank you. I can't believe I got that. You didn't do the buzzer though so I can't get it still. She was in Bado. Yeah. Maybe she'd be up there.

I mean, International listeners will be just going, I mean, too many. They're yelling at their television right now. If that's how you listen to podcasts, I'm not sure. I assume. I assume. But Matt Stewart, once I went to go and see Matt Stewart's show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, I think I've seen it every year, and I brought Rob Mills at Rob Mills & Mills,

and after it, Matt sent me a photo of him and Rob Mills & Mills when you were on, what year was it when? 2006 yeah, it's three years after he came fifth in, let's try it, New Zealand Idol. He came up to me in an Irish pub and asked to get a photo with me because I had a, it was in November and I had a big muster. Oh, isn't that fun? Big brother was absolutely huge in the UK, making ordinary people just be themselves on television and they were catapulted into a whole different world. It was the main water cooler talk at the time.

Everyone wanted their 15 minutes of fame. In 2002, a man by the name of Nikita Russian had what he described the greatest reality TV show of all time. It's been called to make, isn't it? We've heard of New Zealand Idol and the other one. Little brother. Masterchef. Masterchef, another one. Did you name another one?

Did you name Masterchef? Yeah, big sales of Masterchef. Is that where that angry English guy came from? Uh Gordon Ramsay Gordon Ramsay was he from? He was pretty famous for Florida But that Jamie Oliver did Jamie Oliver. Yeah, yeah, Jamie Oliver really got his brain. I tell you what thank you chef Yeah, he's very good. Please don't get our hopes up, mate. Honestly a lot of people are tuning in disappointed It's also a bit dangerous to cook naked. It is a little bit, you know, got some oil spitting.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't need that. Don't need on your private. No, thank you. No, thank you. As Nikita Rush explains it himself, we're going to take money on at its own game. And we're going to win. Isn't that fun?

You're going to take on money. Yeah, that's one of the gonna take on money. Yeah. That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It doesn't really make sense. No. We're gonna take money on its own game and win. Monopoly. Is that, if money had a game it would be Monopoly.

Absolutely. Yeah. I just love that it has a rhythm of something that makes sense. Yeah, it does. It actually does. Because the way he says it, you're like, oh okay.. And then you're like, oh, you think of that. It's like money is sentient and purposefully fucking us over. I'm going to crotch it.

Yeah. That's what swimmers do, though. They're charismatic. Yep. And they say things that seem to make sense. Yeah. And they suck you in. Jess has done this to me.

And oh, no. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Oh, no. I'll get your mind out of the gutter, everybody. Bloody hell. That's not what I meant. and um, oh no, hang on, hang on. I'll get your mind out of the gutter everybody bloody hell. That's not what I meant.

Sam, please go on. Hundreds of people applied, either by being handed a flyer is how a lot of people found out about it, sent the advertisement via email. Wow. Email. Oh, that's important I think think he's not a liar. He said twice. We're going to take email on a certain game and we're going to win. Wow.

You can say anything. Money on the ass. Or through media advertisements. Oh man, that's so funny. The list of hundreds of people was narrowed down to 30 contestants. These people gave up their jobs and homes for a year, all vying to win 100,000 pounds, but there was one little catch.

Do you mean like that, they had to give their homes to Nikita Russia? No, no, they didn't have to give, but they just had to be free for the year, be free of everything. Right. Okay, right. Is that what you think of when you go on a holiday?

I'm giving up my house. For two weeks. Giving up my job. I'm giving it up for two weeks. So sorry, boss. I'm giving up my job for two weeks. I'm quitting for two weeks. I'm quitting for two weeks. I'll be back. I hope you read this bit, Pia. There's one little catch. The show never existed. Wait, what? Yeah. Yeah. Nikita Russian disappeared and the contestants never saw him again. Wait, what's the scam here? Well, I'm going to go into it. Oh, that's the end of my report. Thank you for listening. I'm just trying to be like, what's he done? Did they have to pay an entry fee or something? Well, it's interesting. I want to take the time to introduce you to a few people who are on the show.

Okay. On inverted. A few key players. A few key players. Wow. Rosie, who is living her life in Groundhog Day, working an office job and facing complete boredom. She felt like she could do her job with her eyes closed.

Lucy, you two both have your eyes closed just for listening right now as well. Yeah, we do our jobs with our eyes closed. You love what you do, you never work a day in your life. Just made that up. Her job was optometrist. So it actually, she was dreaming if she thought she could do that. She was absolutely dreaming.

She was, she had her eyes closed, she was asleep. But, wait, hang on. I forgot what I was gonna say. But I will hang on. Thank you, you hold on to it. Let it just get out. I'm wait hang on Matt think of a question anything And you're well so what literal grandhog day literal literal Lucy who was 35 felt that was a good I held on to it. It was good Lucy who was 35 that was a good I held onto it was good Lucy was 34 at the time I got imagine a carpet designer with a good steady job like all contestants she was bored she talks in the documentary which is a great documentary the greatest show never made.

About having to give presentations for an hour to sell carpets mostly the architects and builders she would always look at making it fun, always trying to entertain people. And she then became interested in presenting. She wanted to be a news reporter. Okay. This is the classic story. Taylor's all the time. Yeah. The carpet sales to news anchor pipeline is. It's huge.

It's a big part, but it is still got a high pressure at the other end. That's right. It's a huge hose, but still blasting out the other end. Well, Wim Shakespeare created seven stories, and there are only seven stories, and that's one of them, the carpet salesman that turns into a new supporter. Well, carpet design is an interesting job as well. Yeah. A little bit of wool.

And then that's that, another little bit of wool. Yep, little bit more. And I think we'll go another little bit of wool at the same height. Should we make it different colors or all the same color? Well, I'm pretty fun. So we'll get to that. But at the moment, same color, another little bit of wool.

Daniel was a 23-year-old person who would recently move to the UK and wanted to experience everything. He felt spontaneous, carefree and fun, although describes himself as being very naive at the time, which is why he ended up in this pretty good. I mean, you're 23. You're 23. Honestly, if you're 23 and you're listening to this and you're like, no, Jess, I'm not naive. Yes, you are. Come back to me in three years.

That's such a naive thing to say. And you'll be like, fuck, she was right. Jess rocked that. Yeah. When you're 26, that's when you're like, all right, now I gotta figure that's right. That's when I had everything figured out. Until you get to 29 and then you look back on 26. And you go, holy shit. Who was that kid? Who was that baby? Then you get to 30. Got it all. And then it's all downhill from there. Yeah, it's all bad. Jane was living with her parents working the typical nine to five.

She felt like her life was a broken record. She didn't feel like she had a lot of purpose in life. from there. Yeah, it's all bad. Jane was living with her parents working the typical nine to five. She felt like her life was a broken record. She didn't feel like she had a lot of purpose in life. John was looking for an adventure. John is a little more subdued as portrayed in the documentary. He was handed a flyer as opposed to the others to apply for the show. And he was very excited about it. There's my favorite character in this. Tim was a playwright. Tim Winton. Tim Winton. I think of his books as plays. Of course.

Of course you do. No punctuation. Famously plays. A clown called Skinny Bean. You play that in his spare time. A clown called Skinny Bean. And a cameraman. Okay. Yeah. Those three things. I don't know. When I hear a clown who likes to film things. You think it's pretty cool. Oh, I think he's got a, he's got a sex dungeon. Just go. There's a dark side there. Yeah. Yeah.

This is before only fans though. So nobody's watching it. This is just for him. Yeah. Just video tapes. Just cassettes. He describes his clowning as himself but unleashed. He loves provoking people, always wanting to push people's buttons. At the time he was 37, he'd been clowning for 10 years and he wanted to discover something new. This goes to what you were talking about. By 26, 27 you have to figure that out. That's when you start your clowning career. And if you're a bit of a dropkick, you still do it 10 years later.

Oh, cop that job. That is harsh. I'm not I'm not touching that one. No, I don't know that one. You can't go there, Jess. Well, I just did. I love to provoke. You're a shock, Joc.

You're a shock, Joc. Tim bought a film camera around this time and he became fascinated with it, documenting everything as he went. He treated it as his own video diary, filming a lot of him as his clown skinny been Tim saw the advertisement for a camera operator and applied. Firstly, all of these people have been contacted by Nikita Russian productions to audition. Some people were just in it for the money. Some people were in it for the fame. Wanting to, or wanting the show to help raise their profiles.

Along with the email. Well, it's not just raise their profile, but like create and then raise their profile. Create profile. But the skinny bean. Huge. No, yeah. Yeah, what do you mean? We're raising the profile.

She's already selling carpet. She has a profile. In the trade. She's one of the best carpet presenters. Uppet presenters. Also with this email was a map with an X marking the location. It was on an island that you had to go to by boat. Everyone's imaginations were running wild.

What the heck? What could it be? I'm loving this. I'm so in all of a sudden. So they just sent them a map. I was born until this point. I'm treasure map. I'm in love now.

You didn't like hearing about Skinny Bear? No, I love Skinny Bear. You're kidding yourself right now. Yeah, no, I can't lie to you anymore. He's on snooze patrol over here. Was it a private island? Were they going to be living a life of luxury for a year? It all felt as if this was a pretty big deal.

I think it's going gonna turn out really well. Oh my God. To me, what it sounds like is they're playing money at its own game. And they're gonna win. They're gonna win. Let me tell you this, they're gonna win. Yeah.

It's like people are disappointed when you say the first sentence, you go, they're playing money at its own game, whatever, and they're gonna win. Oh! Cause when normally when you play money at its own game, you're playing money on its home ground. It's got all the advantages. Yeah, you're going to lose every time.

You walk into a bank. The money's like, you're on my turf, bitch. Come on, nice try. Get out of here, baby doll. You got nothing on there. You got nothing here. Says the money. They turn up at the venue.

Money talks. The island. The island. That you can only access by boat. Sure. This grand room with lots of people around. This is where they first seen Nikita Russian. Everyone describes Nikita as very handsome with Hugh Grant as care and incredible, yet somewhat mysterious person. What does Hugh Grant sound like again?

This is a hard one, but I'll see if I can just um. Yeah, that's right. That's actually perfect. That's it. Do you want me to do it, Elmo? Please. Any other impressions? No. Normally, he needs to be tickled for that.

He needs to be tickled for that. Not for me, I can do it on the spot. Wow. Yeah, Elmo can't do it like that. I can do it like that. Hugh Grant as carele for that. Not for me, I can do it on the spot. Wow. Yeah. I can't do it like that. I can do it like that. Hugh Grant as care and incredible yet somewhat mysterious person. Sounds cool. He actually looks very cool. I'm in. Yeah. He's very handsome.

He also has a Hugh Grant like face. It's funny to say. It's Hugh Grant. He walked around the audition room looking very busy. Like he had a million things on his mind. He would be there one moment then completely disappear anytime someone needed to ask a question. I like that about people are running things. He's never there when you need him. Just delegate.

Hey, at some point during the episode, can you do a line or two as Elmo? Of course I can. I've looked up a picture of Makeda Russian. He's handsome. Is he floppish? Yeah, he's got a floppish hair picture of a Russian. He's handsome. Is he foppish? Yeah, he's got foppish hair. Yeah, no. He's an absolute babe.

Yeah. Yeah, he's confirmed. Beautiful bone structure. Oh my god, you've got to put up a photo of him because he's quite cute. I think that you've got to be... So you fell in love with him in the first place? Yeah, you've got to... I never said I was in love with him.

Just fucking... Hang on. It's all sex. We don't like to put it in those sort of terms. Okay, I was going to say make and love. That's... Yeah, It's all sex. We don't like to put it in those. OK. I was going to say make and love. That's yeah. That's worse.

Somehow contestants would have added into smaller groups and given psychological tests as well as practical. There were a lot of exercises where they're encouraged to build trust quickly. One of these involved falling backwards into someone's arms. Yeah. I think we did just before we started this podcast. Of course, it's the only way to pod.

The only way to pod fall back into my arms. I got it wrong. I didn't understand what you're doing. I fell forward. You fell forward, yeah. And yeah, my nose is broken. Valente Jackson was on again. You got that beautiful carpet grays on your face.

Yes, the carpet by Rosie, Lucy. Lucy, I can see. One of the challenges involved baking a cake without a kitchen or ingredients. So what happened here is the contestants had to go out by themselves and show how I guess good they were at talking to people. Honestly, making money like without money, I guess, taking money on its own game. So they would have to go out and they would have to bake a cake by knocking on someone's door. A lot of people just went to people's doors and they would knock on the door

and go, Hey, do you have ingredients for a cake? And people, I guess, were really into reality TV at the moment. They had a camera in their face that was held by a skinny bean. And they would just go, Oh, OK. And then they go, Oh, and can we use your kitchen? While we're here. While we're here, can we use your kitchen? Yeah. And so they had to go by boat to go to the you like the main. Oh

Tim as himself not as skinny bean was already filming with his own equipment at this stage. How's he filming everyone? So he's only filming one team at a time They then go back to the island to present their cakes to Nakeda Russian who is really impressed with what is seen At this stage. No one has any idea what the show actually is. So is Nikita like he's the host of the show? He's on camera. Producer. Host. Yeah. Yeah.

He's doing it all. He's doing it all. That's always a good song, I think. Yeah. When the host is also the producer, director. You like that song. Yeah, it feels comfortable. I trust it. Yes. Feels hot. Yeah. You don't want there's no, You don't want all this red tape.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. You don't want a bureaucracy. Oh, they've got like an assistant director? Yeah. Who do I talk to about getting a latte? Like, it's just Nikita.

It's Nikita. You got a Nikita for everything. Everything. And can I get a latte? And luckily, when you ask those questions, he seems to leave the room. That's right. I think he's going to help me out with that. He's getting my parking validated, my boat, my boat validated. They all are vying to be selected, but they don't know what for.

30 candidates are soon selected via email from Nikita Russian Productions, and they are also sent contracts. They were all told that the project would last one year. So most people gave up their flats, jobs, and some even ended their relationships. Buried within the contracts, it stated that their food, accommodation, and any other money would be provided. And they had to meet in London on the 10th of June

where filming would commence. I think if your relationship ends over some other, this is probably just saved you some time. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm going to be doing a relative issue. I've got no time for our relationship anymore.

Okay. This is good. It's a major red flag for me. Contestants was also told to set up a new bank account where Nick Russian would also have access and to arrive on the day with no money. Take it on at its own. Yeah. And we're going to win. Take it on at its own. Yeah. And we're going to win. Money is shaken in its boots.

So set up a new bank account, but it's empty. Empty. But Nikita has it. Access to it. Right. Nick was also looking for a co-presenter for the reality TV show and chose Lucy. Oh, great. Who was already wanting this to be her full career.

She handed in a notice of talking about carpets. People thought she was going on Big Brother, but after signing the contract, she was sworn to secrecy. Wow. So her work was quite excited for her. I think she got a big break and she wasn't allowed to talk about it. Now, Matt Perkins, Jess Stewart, when you think of the launch. That's right, right, right.

Okay, I'll get it eventually. When you think of the launch. That's right, right, right. Okay, I'll get it eventually. When you think about the launch of a new TV show, what would you expect? Red Carpet. Beautiful. A crew. Yeah, a crew. A film crew.

Film crew. Sound crew. A gaffer. A best boy. A best boy, maybe some catering. I love the best boy. Second best boy. Second best boy. Negative Russian is both. I'll be best boy and best but second best boy a best boy movies from catering. I love the best second best boy second best boy. The Russian is both.

Best boy and best. Yeah, that's you're thinking drinks you're thinking a big of a swore. I yeah, yeah The big launch day comes around. There are a few different teams that all meet in different locations They weren't told to bring a whole lot. Obviously. They were instructed to bring a passport bring a whole lot. Obviously, they were instructed to bring a passport. One of the teams, Team Two, all meet in New Cross in South London in a park on a cold winter's day that increasingly gets worse and worse. When Tim arrives, he notes that there are no professional camera crews. It's just him as a sole camera operator.

And he is going to have to capture the whole series himself. That just doesn't seem possible at all. No, but it's fun, isn't it? It is fun. Yeah. He's not as a clown. And maybe it's part of the challenge. Maybe it's part of taking on money at its own game.

Yeah. And winning. Yeah, and winning. And we're going to win. And we're going to win. And we're going to win. Or is this one of those like Joe Shmo shows where, do you know that one where the, that was actually,

that was another one I remember enjoying, where the whole, everyone was an actor apart from him. And maybe that there was a newish one that was similar to that jury duty as well. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, maybe it's like that and the everyone's actors or the contestants, but the cameraman is actually the the only one who's not in on it. Well, this is why it's so interesting as well because it was, because they kind of believed in the idea and thought that everything was a test,

that they kind of believed that this was actually happening. Yeah. And so you can really understand why they got in this position. Like they're all very eccentric people. They're all a lot of fun. And so it is fascinating that you go psychologically. Nikita kind of knew that maybe they would go along with this for a little bit longer than a lot of other people. It's going to take longer for people to go, what's going? Something's not right here.

Yeah, absolutely. Because that's how reality TV shows mess with the real contestants anyway. Yeah. Nick has said that Rosie would be the team leader. She is meeting everyone and trying to sort everything out. Even though she really has no idea what's going on either. She's a team leader and the co-host. No, so that's Lucy.

So Rosie is. Really struggling. You've got two different women on this and I'm struggling. You're going to deal with one at a time. As a feminist, I really am struggling with this. You know, I've heard of the Besson L test. I've heard of several women existing. This is, I've heard of that.

Taken it a bit far, mate. You've heard of the Besson L test. So close to two different things. That's right. The entire time they meet on this cold, wintery day, Nick is in the background on the phone the whole time. Sure. He's a loof and a shadowy figure, always lurking in the background.

But God, he looks good. He looks good doing that. Oh God. You see me. Can you lurk when you're that hot? Yeah, but he's like, he's kind of gaunt. He looks like a gaunt. Oh yeah.

I reckon you can lurk. You can lurk if you're gaunt. Yeah. Yeah. He's looking good. He's looking good if you're gaunt. At this stage, Lucy, the now co-presenter, starts presenting to camera. Now, this is, this is bizarre.

So if you watch the documentary, it's really interesting because she actually just starts presenting to the camera, even though she only found out what the idea was a few seconds ago. So Nikita kind of took her aside, goes, you're my co-presenter. And also this is the idea. You need to go and present this to her. She's excited for the opportunity to be involved and begins interviewing contestants. This is where she first explains the TV show idea after hearing from Nick only a few moments prior. This is the concept of the TV show.

Okay. The contestants are going to make their own prize money. They have to somehow each make one million pounds in a year. They have no money to pay rent and have to be each make one a one million pounds in a year. They have no money to pay rent and have to be creative in how they survive. They have to feed themselves, find their own shelter and do everything themselves. They cannot rely on their regular jobs to make this money. It all has to be by their own means. Everyone was meant to be equal and in earning that money, they chose what path they want to go down. I think I could say they could choose what path they would want to go down, which is

actually what I had written there. So look, at this point, they're earning 100,000 pounds, so they're only making a percentage of, you know, 10%, you could say, someone say, if you want to chose that, 10%, of what they're actually earning. They all have to go out and make a million pounds. Yes, and this is why Nick has- And they can't do it with a job. That's right. So, but like, you can't do it with your day jobs that you already have. Could you just go out and get a new job?

I guess, but he wants you to be inventive and he wants you to be like, it's kind of like a, I guess he describes it as a mix between survivor and big brother. Yeah, it's interesting because it's like what you could do that without a camera crew. You could go make a million pounds. Well, you could go and try and make a million pounds. Yeah, that's why Matt was late today was trying. He was trying to make a million pounds in the morning. I was listening to a concern. I was right on time.

And Dave Warnacky is fine. He's fine. Tim is filming Lucy present this information. It's the first time he is actually hearing what the show is about. It's cold. It's wet and no one is quite sure what they've gotten themselves into. We're in a London Park in a London Park. Yeah.

Are we going backwards? The boat is a launch. All right. Yeah, the boat part already happened. Yeah, that's the audition. Okay. Yeah. Scorn. Yeah, that was just the audition. Right. Cause that was interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the that was way more grandiose than what the launch. Yeah. For some reason he decided to, I guess to impress people that the audition would look like an actual audition and then meeting in a park is the launch, which is what people are so surprised about. What I find interesting at this point though is that no one backs out. that the audition would look like an actual audition. And then meeting in a park is the launch,

which is what people are so surprised about. What I find interesting at this point though, is that no one backs out. At this team, so there are three teams. Yeah, so at this point, would either of you just go? Yeah, if it's like, well, yeah, you've got to make a million in a year. And then once you've worked insanely hard

to make a million pounds, yeah, you might get a hundred thousand of it. Yeah. I reckon I would just stick to my day job and do a bit of side hustle. If I had that in me already, I'd make a hundred K. I think I'm afraid that I would have just rolled along with it. I'd aim to make a hundred and one thousand dollars by myself and be like, there you go, done.

I recommend you to be taken by a cult. I'd live in an apartment the whole time and not end a relationship. I feel like now I probably wouldn't, but if I was 23 or something, I feel like I would have just, I just follow along, you know. But you know everything compared to when you were 20. Oh yeah, of course. That's right. But yeah, what about you, Sam? Would you have? I when you were 20. Oh yeah, of course. That's right. But yeah, what about you, Sam? Would you have? I don't think I think I would have backed out.

Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't be doing that. I wouldn't be doing that. I thought you would, honestly, you would be, if you were anyone in this, you would be Nikolai Russia. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'd be pulling the strings and lurking and looking gaunt. There was no commission from a broadcaster as they had been told. Russians idea was to make and he hoped sell it. Right. Basically, each team would have to make one million pounds, but couldn't spend anything along the way. The money would go into an account, then a key to had access to.

So how do you eat? Well, you have to. That's that's up to you. That's your own. No, fuck that. Fuck that. And at the end, you have to that's that's up to you. That's your own. Nah, fuck that. Fuck that. And then at the end, you don't even get a million pounds. Yeah, it's weird that you don't get like, you don't get what you're earning. Like you're actually having to earn everything. A hundred thousand, which is a lot of money. Sure.

But if I keep my job that's paying me 50,000 pounds and then I get a weekend job, I could make, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you And then I get a weekend job. Yeah. I could make, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can actually strategically do a lot better. If I flip some furniture and you do all, you know what I mean? Yeah. Just learning 50,000 pounds from flipping furniture. Or I sell feet picks or something. Like I could, I could just have a job that's paying me regularly, keeping a roof over my head and food on my plate. Yeah. And I could also then like try to earn some extra money that I get to keep the whole time.

It is a bad deal. It's a bad deal. It's a pretty bad deal. Like if it was a real thing, you'd keep the team to keep all the money they make. And there'd be the prize to be on top of that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense that this is like his pitch.

Yeah. Because he'd be making money from selling the show and stuff. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense that this is like his pitch. Yeah, because he'd be making money from selling the show and stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's a bit of a worry that he's making most of the money. All of it. Yeah, all of the money. Yeah. Of team two, seven members end up going back to Tim's flat, which is close to the launch party. Tim decides to press on and keep filming, even though he's not sure where all of this is going.

Teams one and three had all met each other and decided this was not a legitimate production. So there's two other teams that are going, I don't think this is legit. One of the people explained the TV show to a friend and this friend knew Nikita Russian. Oh. He worked in the biography section of Waterstones in Piccadilly

and did not have a production company called Nikita Russian Productions. Team one and three asked to have a meeting with Nick where he admitted that the show was not already sold and he was going to try and sell the show after it filmed at all. In a year. In a year. They all decided not to go ahead. Yeah, good call.

At this time though, Team two, who we know from the launch party and the people that I explained, they decided to press on. Yeah. And they don't know any of this information. Can I just double check? What is Waterstones? So it's a bookstore. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm like in the biography section, I'm like, is this if He works at the BBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wasn't sure if it was. It's also funny to work at a, I worked at a bookshop. It's funny to work at a particular section of the bookshop. Would you say that? Especially in the kids' workshop. No, you just work in the bookshop. Yeah. I worked in the travel bit.

Well, you got to work your way up to biography. Yeah, I studied in kids' books. It's a bit too complex for me. Lucy thought perhaps this could be a test and they could still prove their worth. Perhaps there was a second camera filming the whole time. Can you see the camera, Lucy? But that's what I reckon. That's what you would think.

I'd be half thinking that as well. Like there's going to be the secret camera. So rather than going like, oh, there must be secret cameras. Have a fucking look around. Yeah. There's no. Have a look around. No, but if you. Look at the truth.

As soon as you find the cameras, you've ruined it, and they'll kick you off the show. And are you taking money on it at its own game? Yeah, that's right. I don't think Jess is up to it. And you're going to win. I'm going to ask him. I'm happy to let money play its own game.

I've got other stuff on. You've always been like that. I'm very lazy. You've always been like that. Tim wanted to work it out. So at this point, Tim's like, I just want to go ahead. So he's a camera operator, chief, and I'm like, I'm an operator. And God damn God skinny.

Been skinny. Been. And we really like him. I like in the documentary comes across as really fun and. Yes. And I'll regret the sex dungeon thing I said before. No, don't don't don't regret it. Don't know.

There's any. Right. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't get a fun likeable person can have a sex dungeon.

Yes. I think dungeon. Dungeon. Yeah. I think done just got negative connotations. In this day and age, so many of us living in apartments, I don't have a sex dungeon. I imagine. I've got a sex corner. Must be nice. I've got a sex room underground that no one knows about. Team 2, All Strangers, stayed at Tim's place that night.

Why? Sleeping on the floor, the sofa and the chairs. Well, a lot of them had given up their places to live. Of course. And so Tim didn't have to give up his stuff. No, he's a camera operator. Camera operator so he can go back home and he's getting he's getting paid a wage. No. What's he doing? I don't know why he's in it. Like it's not explained if he's getting paid, but I doubt.

Because I mean, Nick's working in the waterstones. Probably getting promised. Yeah, you'll get it. You'll get a cut of this. I think that's right. They were all still hopeful that the show might still happen. None of them wanted to admit that they had been duped. No one in team two had signed the contract that was provided by Nikita Russian Productions.

They did not owe anything to Nikita, but they were all still desperate to get on television and thought this might be their only hope. They would try at least for a week actually going and doing the challenges that they themselves had made up. And it turns out to be true because a documentary got made about it. Yeah. So yeah, in a way. And that's a great thing about the documentary is that it shows them as really colorful people

that are like, like they actually build the like build the set of of Tim's flat. And they kind of act out a lot of things which is really fun. It's really nice actually that they kind of get to have their moment which is really lovely. A few of the team went out and nabbed free food from everyone from the apartment and kind of that was their first challenge that they made up. Oh, we can all eat for free. Tim set up a diary. Why are you n napping free food? It sounds like stealing food.

Yeah, I think it's, you know, I think they, um, I think they kind of get food from a market that's about to be thrown out or something. Yeah. Uh, Tim set up a dior room in his flat so that people could go in like big brother and explain how they were feeling. Tim also put a farting machine in the dior room. That's, I think we can all agree is hilarious. Yeah.

Yeah. So someone's doing like a little piece to camera in it. That's good stuff. This is the first time I reckon money is getting a little nervous. Yeah. I'm going to take a shot. Well, no one's ever tried that before. Yeah.

Because it was 2002, there wasn't a huge social media presence for everybody. People couldn't call out scams in the way this all happened today. And then Nick turned up to the flat. What? No one asked him questions about their concerns at the time. He just hung out with them in the flat for hours. The footage is really strange at this time because they're all like in the flat and he's kind of laughing with them and they're all having fun. But I think at this time they're all kind of bonding and not really knowing really that it's a scam at this time. Yeah, like they're still kind of thinking this is actually legitimate and he ended up staying over the night.

And he must be like quite charming, quite charming. But also like, yeah. But Tim, the cameraman, he he's sort of taken this job, going this kind of interesting. And now he's got a bunch of roommates. Random people, yeah. Yeah, who are not contributing financially to his bills. Yeah, not at all. None of them have money.

Well, they brought some food. That's true. Yeah, off food. Off food, some sale food. That's been going a bit bin. At this stage, it's not, I mean, you've kind of made it clear, but even if I was them, I'd be like, there's three options here. This is a, this is going to happen.

It's a real thing. It's a scam. And he's, there's something I don't quite understand that he's going to really screw us all over. Or the third option, which to me sounds the most likely, even though I'm from here, you're selling it, it sounds like it's a swindle, but because you said that exact word, but twindle, but I'd be thinking, uh, this is a guy who's a dreamer and he wants to make this happen. Yes, he just has no idea that he's in over his head. Yes, yeah. And that's that's

the vibe that really comes across from him that he really doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah, at this point. Yeah. At this point they make contact with team one and team two. They find out that Nick worked at a bookshop and they were all being used as his guinea pigs. Team 2 were wondering if they should go to the media. They wanted to get the word out so he didn't try anything. Nick rocked up again. He claimed to be homeless and had nowhere else to go.

He wanted people to sympathize with him that he is in the exact same position as them. He had given up everything to and had no money. There was a lot of anger towards Nick that night. They all wanted to have a go at him, but let him stay over anyway. John snapped and wanted to kill him, but the others persuaded him to calm down until the morning. So you can kill him in the morning. Is John the clown? No, John's the pretty serious guy that's like just in the back.

You don't really hear a lot from him, but he seems a bit more serious and a bit more subdued than the rest. Because you've introduced two male characters and I just can't separate those in my mind. Yeah, you can't keep up. They all have one thing in common now. They all want to kill Nick. Right. So that's, yeah, they're feeling duped at this point.

Nick left very early in the morning without answering any questions. He left his backpack behind so they knew he'd be back. Pack. Oh, that's good. I like that. I really like that. That was a bit of fun. I enjoyed that a lot.

Every now and then we try to have a bit of fun. Just lightens the mood a little bit on the podcast. Can you do the next line as Elma? I can't do the voice. I can do the laugh. Yeah. Yeah, just do the laugh and then speak normally. Ha ha you know that? I didn't feel good. She's out of the door.

How does Elmo do it? Yeah. They are the teammate calls to various media outlets. They contacted London tonight with the story. They were interested and said they'd be there the next day. Team two were finally going to be on TV. What they had always dreamed of. They all had this footage,

which will be used perfectly for the news segment. As predicted, Nick turns back up at the flat. It's very clear he has nowhere to go. The team were able to corner him. They didn't say a word about London tonight coming the next day. They decided instead they would trap him in the flat until the morning so he could be part of the story. This time the team confronted Nick about what he had done to their lives. He'd actually ripped their lives apart. Nick seemed adamant at this time that it was his dream to and he was in the same position as him.

He repeats the narrative. He was in the same position as him. Pardon? He was in the same position as him. As the rest of them. As them. Nick was in the same position as him. I'm in the same. Could you read the words on the screen, mate

Matt just struggles to get through a sentence without making up a word. So when other people feel good No, I was thinking of the listeners there with the listeners out there going Oh, I feel uncomfortable because he said the same different words and he means he said it funny he repeats the narrative over and over again that he really thought it would go ahead London tonight turn up and interview Nick who blames himself for the situation at this point oh yeah I don't how did he come to that conclusion please I think he's locked in there it's so easy to blame yourself Nick but no don't be so, but no. Don't be so hard on yourself. Absolutely. This isn't a swindle. This is just a hopeless guy. I'm waiting for the other

thing where he's actually, but all along he's been. All along. Yeah, yeah. He bought all their houses. He is 100% committed to continuing with the pilot. And even though he mentions this, like, sorry, at this point, he's talking about it like it's still going ahead. He's like we can all work together and make this happen He's not giving up on the TV show He was annoyed that if you can get a TV station to come why point everything at him and not getting the TV show up So he's like why didn't they just get the TV show to let TV station to come and make the shot Yeah, that would get the news to come over just to come and make the shot. Yeah, that's what it's why.

Get the news to come over just make a show. Make a one-year show. Easy. That would have cost like millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, but it's fine. They can do that. They got the resources for it to follow them for a year. I mean, they're a TV station.

That's TV station. That's right. You got more than one cameraman. Yeah. You're doing better than us. Yeah. You're doing better than the clown we got over there. Yeah.

The literal clown. He's a literal clown. I'm not spanking. He's juggling his cameras right now. Dispatching their hiz. Yeah, you're doing better than the clown. We're going over there. The literal. Where's the literal clown? I'm not juggling his cameras right now. There he is. Yeah. The report ran on ITV on a Thursday night, three days after the group came to see came to the flat. A day a day later, the group met a producer

discussed selling the footage to make a show. The answer was no. Wow. The adrenaline had soon subsided as reality came and crept in. Tim says at this time I asked my girlfriend to come back and she said no. We split up and that knocked me for six. Yeah. It was deeply embarrassing. Wait, I mean, he broke up with her right because he was having it. He was gone away for a year. Yeah. I think yeah, of course she's gonna say no. She's got a bitching eyes. No, I go, oh God. Wait, I dropped you. I dropped you for a TV show and now you don't want to come back. You don't want to come back. That's weird. Will you come back for skinny bin? Yeah. Will

you come back for skinny? What if skinny being comes and films us for a bit? He seems to be up for doing stuff like that. He does. Yeah. It floored me. I never picked my camera up again and I went back to being a clown. Okay. They became a bit of a laughing stock at this stage. Why did skinnybein break up with his girlfriend? What? They didn't even have to go anywhere.

They were still in London. They were still in London. Yeah. What does anyone have to break up with anyone? It doesn't make any sense that they all break up. I don't think they knew they were just going to be in a random flat in London. Fair point. They thought they're going to be a wax. They got told they're going

to bring their passports. And they were, yeah, the boats and stuff. Yeah. The boats and stuff. They were mocked by Harry Hill on TV Burp. Oh, that is. While the London Tonight segment referred to him as the wannabe class. Was that a, was their TV burp a reworking of Ed Cavalli's? I think it was. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. great reference. I'm sure every listener will understand. A few of the contestants even got recognized while out and about. Wow. So who is Nikita Russian? I think is the question that great question. Great question. Great question. Nikita Russian was an alias last used in 2002.

His real name. Oh no. It's Keith. Oh fuck. What a name. I mean mean Nikita Russian is 100% fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Keith. Keith, what a name to be I know. He looks like a Keith actually. He doesn't like Keith. Keith's one of the great names. One of the great names. If you can name him. He does look like a Nikita. Keith, Gary, Barry, Greg, Frank. Yeah. Tomah. No. No.

I was being silly. I'm going to be on momentum there, Sam, and you ruined it with Tomah. It's a bloody Tomah. He was also Jack and Doug at some stage. Oh, okay. So he's had to name his actually. Actually, Keith, Jack and Doug are on the list. Keith was also a very ambitious, described as a very ambitious person.

His childhood friend Michael was interviewed in the documentary, The Greatest Show Never Made. Keith first told Michael about his idea describing the show and asked Michael to film it. Michael believed that Keith could make this show happen. He's a very charming and charismatic person. They grew up making comedy sketches together and he describes Keith as the funniest person he has ever met. I never met me. I never met you. I never met Matt. No, no, we've met. I've met just

once before. At some point something happened to Keith that changed him. There was now an aura of darkness around him and it hadn't been there before. At some point Keith just completely changes and goes down a weirder path. Keith hired a director for the show, David. Everything seemed legitimate like it was actually going to happen, at least the pilot of the show. David describes his time in his life as having to take any opportunity that came along. He met Keith to explain the idea to him taking money on at its own game. He seemed really annoyed that money had such a hold on the world. David was excited and like Keith.

David filmed Keith as the presenter. So it's actually this footage of talking to camera being like, we're going to take money on at its own game. And he's actually quite a charismatic person. Like he's a good looking gaunt man. That's not always lurking in the background. Sometimes he's working in the foreground, lurking in the foreground. But to be clear, he is always lurking.

Always lurking. David and Michael both went to the auditions. It looked like a proper production because it was lots of assistance and people that Keith actually wrote in to be involved. David filmed the whole thing with Michael. Michael grew concerned about the project. He confronted Keith about the £100,000 prize. Keith didn't really see what the issue was. He also found out that Keith

was creating lots of other names too to pretend that all of these people worked at his production company. Michael decided to back away from the project. They ended up losing contact. David decided to leave away from the project. They ended up losing contact. David decided to leave. This is the cameraman. It was actually the legitimate cameraman. David decided to leave after Nick could not lend any money to make the project and properly fund it. That feels like a proper time to go. It feels fair, doesn't it? But it's also so insane that Nikita just went, I'm just going to, well, Keith, I'm just going to go ahead with it. Yeah. No money, nothing, no resources.

And then I guess he just got someone lucky that he was like, oh, there's a cameraman there. I think and the world was gone. Reality TV. Mad. Yeah. I got mad for it. Michael and Nick ended up meeting at a pub for the last time ever

that they met up when the London Tonight thing began to play. Wow. And he said that a lot of people at that time were looking at him in the pub. So they all recognized him from that as a scammer. Michael was annoyed at him, but also felt very sorry for him. As time went on, Michael became increasingly annoyed at how Keith still wanted to make the TV show. So at this point, he's like, he's really desperate.

You've not learned anything. Hasn't learned anything at all. Michael and Keith have not spoken since. Wow. But it really does sound like he's not, he's not in it to mess people around. He just doesn't think he is. Yeah.

He thinks, no, we're all doing this together. This is the dream. We're all going to. Yeah. It's kind of like he just didn't tell people that this was a pilot. Yeah. And that, you know, he kind of just went along with it as it was a legitimate TV show that he already had a podcast. And I think he says it's for Channel 4 or something in there. And he's like, no, it's actually happening.

And then he seems quite delusional. He's quite delusional. Yeah, he just needed it. Like he probably would have got a lot of those same people to make the pilot for free. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. If he just was honest about it. Yeah. And um, swindling people. Well, yeah, the worst thing he's done is the swindle the swindling part. I think I that bit. But the fact that yeah, they're all they've all given up their lives. Yes. Yeah. It's like you can't forgive that. But if you just said, I got this great idea.

Yeah, we're going to make a pilot. Yeah, it's going to be very low budget, but very, very low budget. Yeah. But we're going to we're going to pitch it it and if we pitch it and it gets picked up, you'll be the first contestants or whatever. Shooting a pilot, why are you going straight to it's an entire year? Yeah, you've got to make a million pounds. Yes.

Like I was just thinking about it. If you had three teams, let's say each team had to make a hundred K. And then there's somewhat, like the winning team takes the whole pool. That's a better prize. Way better. That makes more sense. Yeah, yeah.

If it's a pilot, why are you going straight to give up an entire year of your life and make a million pound? And I guess why do a year? Yeah, start smaller. Start smaller. Three months. It's a fortnight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a fortnight. And then we pitch it and then see how wenight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fortnight. And then we pitch it to make a million pounds. And then see how we go. Yeah. Yeah, initially it's 10 grand or something. Yeah, yeah. And also like the other, because there's three teams involved initially,

I guess not all of them would have made the million pounds. So it's the winning team make the, and then I don't know if they get $100,000 each or like it wasn't very clear in this who gets what cut out of it or what the cameraman must have realized or maybe didn't that he'd stuff to pay everyone yeah yeah you can't just have him on a year-long TV show for no money like that just have people for a year yeah it's so insane certainly not in Australia I would imagine the UK would also not. That would not be legal.

We only know how things operate here in Australia. I imagine Swindles not OK in the UK either. Keith explains that after this period he was homeless and people were constantly recognising him and berating him as the con man on London tonight. Shoulder haircut. He is now an author of a book called The Death of a Poet. Keith is married, has two children and has created as he puts it himself an authentic, well-built and real life.

So Keith has actually changed after all of this. He's actually, but none of them ever saw him again. So none of the contestants ever really found an explanation of why he did this. And in the documentary, they actually have to get someone to track him down to find him. Wow. He's sort of run away. He's run away from everything.

So after the London tonight thing, he ran away and never spoke to the contestants every day. I would have assumed that, but yeah. It feels like there must feel like there's some unfinished business, right? Absolutely. Wouldn't it feel like you need to make this right? Yeah, absolutely.

But he didn't do that in this process? No, no, no. Especially if he thinks he's figured out his life. Yeah, absolutely. But he didn't do that in this process? No, no, no. Especially if he thinks he's figured out his life. Yeah, yeah. Now's the time to reach out. Yeah, sure. I think the documentary actually did that really well. Like, they actually, in the end, they actually play footage

of the contestants talking about him to him, which is really interesting. And I think a bit like it's a nice way to do it. The most bizarre thing to me about this whole story is none of the contestants upon reflection seem angry at Nick Russian, Keith or as he now calls himself Nick Quinton Wolf. They've softened over the years. Nick Wolf. Nick Wolf.

They've softened over the years. I'm pretty sure I know a guy who had the fake name Nick Wolf. Nick Wolf. They've softened over the years. I'm pretty sure I know a guy who had a fake name Nick Wolf. Really? Was this guy Australian? No. Okay. Imagine. That was a good question.

Imagine that. Yeah. Because it would have been a time one. Imagine if you knew him. I knew him like a while ago at a community radio station. Was he trying to con people for a TV show? No. Might not be him then.

But he wore a fedora. Okay might be him back on board My beard might have been covering some fuckish hair Some Hugh Grant as he didn't think of a hair cut. He just thought I'll put a fedora They have softened over the years and in the documentary the greatest show never made team two are all reunited documentary, the greatest show never made. Team two are all reunited. They have a great deal of fondness for each other, seeing a soft aside to Nikita that they possibly hadn't had before. They all thank him for meeting each other and for changing the course of their lives. Wow.

They're all content and believe that they had an incredible adventure together. Oh, I'm so glad that they, yeah. Cause it's the kind of thing that you could feel like you've been duped in their battles. Yeah. I think, yeah, that's right. Yeah. If you can't let that go. If it had run for the full year, I think it would have been different. I think, yeah, I think they could have definitely gone and that ruined my life. Yeah. Yeah.

Like what sort of time period it sounds like it was like a week or two. It was like a week. Yeah. Yeah. So like, hopefully they could period, it sounds like it was like a week or two. It was like a week, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like. Hopefully they could. I think you know that relationship, I think John or whoever must have been like, yeah, we were never working out. If I was ready to break up with them for a year TV show, not even to go, we'll figure

it out and you know, in a year we'll. Yeah, yeah. Not even to try. Wait for me yeah yeah to try for me yeah wait for me yeah so then you if you go back to somebody a week later and say. That thing turned out to be a scam and I'm really embarrassed a swindle and you know what can we continue yeah. If they saying no you didn't break up with them in a nice way yeah I mean it I mean? It wasn't like. I really need to take this opportunity. I'm sorry. And probably I don't want to leave you waiting for a year. That sort of thing.

But if it was like, see you later, toots. And then a week later, you come back and go, I got my big brain. You come back and go, hey, baby. Let's, mwah. You need skinny beans. Let's go. I've got two boyfriends, me and the clan.

And then Lucy could go back to her carpet job. Yeah. Most of them could go back to their work. It sounds like her work was really supportive. They were excited for her and stuff. So you'd imagine they'd be like, oh. They're all a bit embarrassed. They'd feel embarrassed.

Of course. Yeah, you would be. I mean, yeah. You'd be embarrassed and look, it sounds like a lot of them weren't necessarily content in their lives at the time, but at least you can sort of go, okay, be. I mean, yeah. You'd be embarrassed and look, it sounds like a lot of them weren't necessarily content in their lives at the time, but at least you can sort of go, okay, well, I'm going to go back to this steady job. But I've got a better idea of where I want to go and I'm going to work towards some stuff. Yeah, yeah.

So cool that they all found it as looking back at it. It's a positive experience. I love that. That's so nice to hear. That's a nice ending to a pretty grim tale. Yeah, it's really nice watching the documentary to go, oh my God. So like they all see each other for the first time again. They're also excited. A lot of them have kids. They're really happy.

They've got good, steady jobs and they describe it as one of the greatest moments of their life. That Jessica and Matthew is the greatest reality show. I love how they came back around. I was the way you were talking about it earlier, I thought it was going to stretch out and he was going to be just bleeding their mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting, like he just kind of seemed like a bit of a, yeah, a foppish, as you describe you grant.

From a foppish sort of person that didn't really know what he was doing. So you can actually see it in the documentary, like it started to build and it looked like it was going to happen. And then at some point, it all goes away very quickly. Yeah. And he's still trying to make it happen. But obviously, you know, he's not earning a lot of money. He's working at a bookstore and then he doesn't have a place himself.

Yeah. So he's obviously quite delusional at that point. And he's stringing these people along. But at least the other two teams didn't go along with it. They pulled out very quickly, which I think was a very good thing. From a story point of view, I kind of wanted it to go for longer and build more tension. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just from a human point of view, I'm glad it was like a week.

And then they all went, this is bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then got back to their lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The team that kept going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. problems and then he kind of came out the other side and wrote a book. I don't know if the book is a really popular book or not. I'm sure that he's- Was it in the biography section? His old Happy Hunting Ground? Happy Hunting Ground. It probably was actually. Yeah, it probably would have been. He probably went back and showed everybody. Probably went back for book signing. Yeah, he probably did. Imagine. He's made it. He's swindled a lot of people and now he's made it. Wow. That's actually how you can make it. It's easy. You don't know. Yeah, swindling. If you swindle, you can actually make it big.

Yeah. And then you can bring everyone else down with you. Oh, so maybe that's what they should have done to make the million. Yeah. Just done their own swindle within the swindle. Did you? That's fun. That's fun.

Do you see any of yourself in the sky? Because you are able to make big productions happen. You're like him without the delusion. Don't you reckon? That's very kind to say without the delusion. I reckon you're very kind to say without the illusion. You do the dream and you've made the productions happen on the smell of an oily rag sort of thing. Did you relate to him at all? I don't think in the way that he went about it, I wasn't auditioning people.

Yeah, I wasn't, I wouldn't go that far with it. But sure, being a dreamer, God, you got to be a dreamer. It wouldn't go that far with it. But sure, being a dreamer. God, you got to be a dreamer. But yeah, you have you go for ideas that most people would find too intimidating to even start. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I guess where mean him. I guess the money.

Yeah, well, I haven't. There's a difference. I'm sure I'm going to see a difference. Where would you say different? Just I didn't take money on at my own game. Oh, OK. And I won. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I lost't take money on at my own game. Oh, OK. And I won. Yeah. Yeah, I lost.

I lost. I lost big time. And I think Nikita Rushin lost in taking on money. It's such a confusing concept for a TV show as well. Because it doesn't really make sense. It's just making people earn you money. But it doesn't really. It doesn't look like because you didn't have a cameraman

or anything. It's like, well, where were you going to film all of these people? Yeah. How are you going to film multiple people at different times? Yeah. If the other two teams hadn't pulled out, you need at least two other cameramen. That's right. Yeah. It didn't have anybody. So I don't know how they would have blown along. So how is this going to happen? Yeah. I think it's fun. I think it's fun. And I think I like Nick, even after watching this, you're like, oh, okay. Yeah, that's how we got away with it. Yeah, that's how we got away with it. Yeah, that's how we got away with it.

Yeah, that's how we got away with it. So charming. I think it does, to me, sound like it's got interesting elements for a show. Yeah, yeah, there's something about it where, I'd watch it, I'd definitely watch it, and it was interesting to watch it. Isn't that Little's narrating it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If Matt's on it, or Sarah Murray's bum dancing in it. Yeah, then I'm in. Or at Rob Mills and Mills is just doing the song at the end of every episode. Comes into the flat and does a song to take us out. Nothing he could host. He'd be a good host. He's got a bit of a foppish charm.

He does have a foppish charm. I hope I know what foppish means. I don't know if I could explain it. I don't think anybody can. I think foppish is just, you know how you say it. Definition is Hugh Grant. Yeah. Yeah.

He's got that foppish charm. Yeah. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, But I think, you know, fumbling along in life. There's something charming about that. Have you got any huge projects on the go at the moment? Because I'm thinking about the movies you made. Hmm. Yeah. Which is, I know a couple of people have done it. But it's, to me, it's such an impressive thing. Well, I don't have any projects going on. I want to make a mockumentary about Rob Millsy Mills

in a world that no one remembers who Rob Millsy Mills is. And. What a fantasy land. That sounds like. In a world that no one remembers who Rob Mills Emils is and fantasy land. He wants to he wants to get his 2004 hit song Miss Vanity into Eurovision. Yeah, I want to make that as a mockumentary with a wonderful comedian in Australia called Genevieve Morris as his manager. Yeah, have you put this to them? I put this to them and they are. They are interested. But yeah, that's the thing.

You just got to get funding. I'm thinking of talking in a key direction. Yeah. You got to know something fun, but it's so hard to make like, you know, making things for free all the time and you like putting so much money in resources and you're also paying like a cameraman. That's definitely it's the game for 23 year old. It is.

And as you get older, it's harder and harder to justify. It is. Yeah. Which is that sort of spending. I don't understand like sad but true. Sad but true. As the great James Hetfield once said. Is it actually true?

Yeah, he did. Okay. Sad but true. That's nice. Yeah. And we're going to win. We're going to be money in its own game. And we're going to win.

And we're going to win. I really enjoyed that story a lot. Can I see if anyone, I mean, I definitely can. I don't need to ask your permission. What was the guy's name? What was the show called? What word should I look for in the hat? Look up in the key to Russian. I reckon, yeah. How do you spell that? N-I-K-I-T-A. And then Russian. Is there a Russian? There's not a single Nikita in the hat.

Wow what about reality show called? The great reality TV swindle. You can use the word swindle. You could say, I know 100,000 pounds right 100,000 pounds. Oh, it's in there. What is it? Someone has suggested the great reality TV swindle saying, why do you think it would be a good topic? And early Aughts hoax with twists and turns along the way. Oh, okay.

And that was Hannah McAfee from Sheffield in the UK. And recommended the documentary, greatest show never made. It's a great documentary. You're gonna, you're gonna, yeah, you're gonna check out this documentary. It's really good. Uh, and, and it's just, no, it's just a feel good story in the end. Cause you kind of like at the end of it, you're like, oh, this could have gone so bad and it could be a terrible ending.

And then you're like, oh no, they're all, they're all. I was bracing for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They've all forgiven him. That's amazing. Like it sounds like every single person involved has ended up great.

Yeah. I mean, not everyone is in like, not everyone returns in the document. No, John returns, which I was surprised about. But yeah, but the interviews with people are interesting. And they also interview Nikita Russian, which is great. That is good. So that's the interesting part that you actually see him from his perspective. And he actually thought that it was going to happen in time. Very interested to check this out. So rather than feeling like he's a villain, you're just kind of like, oh, you're just you're delusional.

You're a bit delusional. Yeah. And I guess he had a lot of charm and a lot of charisma. So everyone kind of thought he could do it. And he believed at some point that he could do it as well. And so then he kind of just keeps going along with it. And I think at that point he'd just bitten off more than he could chew, and he was, I just made that phrase up. And he was like, yeah, he's just like, okay, well, yeah, thank you. I think, yeah, immediately, I think I know what you mean. Yep. Have you ever seen all roads lead to Rome? Whoa.

I just made that one up too. That one doesn't make much sense to me. Because, you know, there's a lot of water between here and Rome. Right. Yeah. Like the road that like my street just sort of runs between two major roads. Not like, and it doesn't get you to Rome. Well, about this one. Okay.

That one was good. I have this one. So I have to say it was quite cold this morning. And when I took my dog for a walk, Missy Diggins before, he was a little bit, was a little bit hotter. Four seasons in one day. Yeah. Yeah. in one day. Yeah. Yeah.

That's interesting. I'm talking about Melbourne. That is a very unique thing about Melbourne. And I've always thought it'd be great to have a term for the thing that only Melbourne has, which is changing weather. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we do have that. You do have that, don't you? I've travelled around and everywhere else is just the same.

Yeah. Morning to night. Morning to night. Wow. For the four seasons in one day. I do have that. I do have that, don't you? I've been around and everywhere else is just the same. Morning to night. Morning to night. Wow. Four seasons in one day. Melbourne, Australia. Four seasons in one day. I like that.

You can use it. You can use it. That's better than the other one. As long as you've coded it wrong. The wrong one was just I'll just spitball them. Good. You could say Sydney Road leads to Sydney, for instance, which is the road just out the front of the studio here. That's true. All roads lead to Sydney, for instance, which is the road just out the front of the studio here.

Yep. And that's true. All roads lead to Sydney. Road. Road. Yeah, all roads lead to Sydney road. Yeah. I don't think it has as much of a ring to it as the other ones.

No, but yours was a good try. But it just didn't make any sense. Not like playing cash in its own game and winning. Hey, do you have time to hang around for our Patreon section or do you want to f off social language? Stick around. Well, Sam, can you be involved then? Yeah, of course. Thank you so much. So the way we do this. You tell me what you need to do when I'm here. Okay, great. I love you. It's got text from Dave Warnakey. I actually did. He's on the phone. That's so good. So that's, that's what he said again.

I'm fine. Yeah. Jess, it sounds like the automated app thing we set up is working. So, I ended up being at AJ. AJ's our editor for listeners who don't know. He's one of the best in the biz. Well, they wouldn't have heard any of that

because he had a little out. Yes, you don't hear goddamn things. Please don't book him. You never need to justify. he's already very busy. And I feel like we'll be the first thing he drops. Yeah. And we've become accustomed to this lifestyle. Well, just what a lifestyle.

The lifestyle being getting to talk to AJ every week. Yeah. Saying thanks, AJ. Yeah. That's what we say. We don't say anything. That's life, actually. So this part of the show is actually Sam, everyone's favorite section of the show.

A lot of people would have skipped over your report. I'm sorry to say just to get to this part right where we thank some of our great supporters these people are the people that help make this show happen. And yeah we we thank them over the next 30 odd minutes 30 minutes yeah yeah did you committing? No, but that's fun. I like that. I like hearing people's names for 30 minutes. That was the low end as well. 30 to 40. I'm going to try and keep it snappy. Yeah, I'm going to kind of dive it up. He hates thanking people. He never likes thanking people. And we do it in a few different ways, but if you want to get involved, Sam or listeners, go to patreon.com.com. you can sign up on all different levels.

Jess, what are some of the different things people can get if they get involved? You can get shout outs. You can get early access to tickets to live shows. You can get three bonus episodes a month on the certain level. Yeah. I think it's the Dreamboat Cooper or Buff. That's it. Yeah, that's. Yeah, access to the Facebook group the nicest corner of the internet you get a Christmas card

Yeah on certain levels. Yep. Well, if you didn't sign up. Yeah, actually It's actually seems wild for me not to sign up. Yeah, I feel like if you didn't sign up you'd be taking on money and losing Yeah, okay, thank you. The first thing we do is for people who sign up on the Sydney Schoenberg level or above, and that's a bit of the show called the Fat Quota Questions section. Actually, I think it's got a little jingle go something like this. Fat Quota Question. Ding.

I always remember the ding. Jess always remembers the thing. God, we miss him. Did you make it up? Yeah. Well, I think she's, she had to give a co-writing credit to the widget, the world watcher theme. But the first one this week, and everyone gets to give themselves a title as well. And I

only read these out as I read them out for the first time. So this is good. This is going to be good. Yeah, I forgot when I was picking at you making small mistakes that I would later have to read mistakes. People's names and do them again. The first one comes from Soph Waldron, who's got the title of One Armed Idiot. Okay. Oh, that's not nice.

Well, it's just a title, mate. Let's see. I'm not having go at it, I'm just saying. If Soph's fact quote question or other. It's a fact, yeah, it's relevant to that. Might explain. Because it might just be one of those things that, you know, the queen gave her that title. The queen. Yeah, yeah, it's relevant to that. Might explain. Because it might just be one of those things that the queen gave her that title.

The queen. Yeah, the queen. Yeah, the queen. The head of state, queen was just the second. Long may she reign. Oh, God, she's good. And I think I like her mainly because our prime minister, John Howard likes her.

Our current prime minister, John Howard, definitely likes her. They're in coats. So Sophie's fact is, so as you know, I recently travelled to the UK and while in Cornwall, I had a fall and fractured the top of my humerus, which is ironically not at all a funny experience. My fact is, the name is derived from Latin, humerus, humerus meaning upper arm, shoulder. It actually has no connection to its homophone humorous. Oh, but people should call it funny bone

because when you whack it, it feels a bit funny. Yeah. Oh, which ones you find it? What is your humorous? Oh, your triceps. Your triceps, yeah, you sure know your triceps. Sure, yep. Jess is loving that.

With the one under the trousers. Jess is loving you showing off your arms? I regret just starting that. All right. The second one. I really do. I regret Sam really fucking leaning into it. Oh, thank you so much.

So next one and she's we're learning and we're laughing here. Love that and rest up. So hope you hope you're okay. And you're not an idiot. That was a little while ago now. I think so. I hope she's on the mend. She actually sent that one through on Christmas Eve.

Oh wow. Oh wow. Next one comes from Dave Loring, okay, Perpetual Dave. And Perpetual Dave is offering a suggestion. Fantastic. Here we go. Hey, mate, it's got a quick little priceless game for whoever's in the room recording this episode right now. That's us. Who could that be? Well, for Dave, it's Jess, Sam and me.

Yep. On that. It goes on to say I've got two animals that I hope you're not already familiar with. And you just need to decide based on their name, which one is sort of adorable in an odd way and which one is sort of horrifying in a regular way. Okay, great. Okay, so you've got coconut crab or garranook. I reckon coconut crab is cute. Coconut, yeah, I think it's, I think it's a little bit of a curveball.

I think coconut crab is an actual really cute crab. Yeah, and I reckon the other ones, the dreamy eyes. Scary looking. Yeah. So you're saying coconut crab is a curveball. I think coconut crab is an actual really cute crab. Yeah. And I reckon the other ones. Big dreamy eyes. Scary looking. Yeah. So you're saying coconut crab? Yeah. Is a nice one. He's saying that I've got to look up Google images. And the answer will be clear to us. I see. I thought he was saying that were his pets.

Is it a riddle? I thought there were his pet's names. But they're just real animals. All right. My God, man. Coconut crab would be a cute thing. Oh, yeah. It sounds cute. It's kind of fluffy, like a plush toy. Yeah. This is my coconut crab. And it's like a little coconut with like crab arms. Yeah, that's cute. But we could be wrong. It could be the other round. Something's cute. That's for sure. All right. We're going

to crack up crab first. Oh, that's not cute at all. That's horrifying. That's absolutely horrifying. Sorry about that. You don't want to plus one of that? Oh, plus one of that, though. Yeah, that's a big. The fact that it's like, it's basically bear hugging a tree trunk.

Yeah, I don't enjoy that at all. I was wrong. I was wrong. The reason that was perpetual Dave's cute idea. Please look at me. Because we don't know. Maybe it's subjective. And then the garenok. And this is the garenok. Look at me. Because we don't know, maybe it's subjective. And then the garonook.

And this is the garonook. Look at that face. Oh, that's fun. That doesn't make sense. What a weird look you see. It's like a giraffe. Its head is tiny. It's head is tiny.

It's so strange. It's got the tiniest head. And this one is standing up like a person. Yeah. It looks like one of those mirrors, you know, the mirrors that kind of just change. Yes. It's like they're kind of pointing out. Yes. Like they kind of pointing out. Yeah. I like that.

It's at a standing desk. Yeah. It's working. To the Zoom meeting. Back in the meeting. It's just been sprung on a Zoom meeting. Yeah, I've never seen one of them before. They're cute.

Yeah. It's a bit. They're really, yeah, really interesting looking. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's cute. I like that. Yeah. Coconut Caves horrifying.

Yeah. I love that at my advanced age, I'm still finding new animals. Yeah, you'd think you would have discovered all of them by now. Personally. Perpetual Dave finishes by saying, that's all. Much love. That's nice. Much love to you, Dave.

Much love to you, Perpetual Dave. Thanks, Dave. Next one comes from Sky, whose title titled this nude model for do go on figure drawing. Oh, I think so much for offering your services. That's lovely. Sky says, today for you, I have two quotes from my great friend and mentor, the man that will change your life with overwhelming kindness. Rich.

Nikita Russian. Tayru. Number one from his book is the river troll. Here's the quote. It's not a nickname. Your nickname is River Troll. River Troll. Yeah, it's just hanging out in the river.

It's a two. He's a little troll. This is the quote. Not everyone is beautiful, but everybody is beautiful to someone. I go with that. I go with that. I go with that. So I describe myself.

I would personally word that as one man's trash is another man's trash but it's the same sort of thing is make that up yeah and you get another good saying that's great lots of that yeah yeah I think that's nice to talk to people as trash trash well I've certainly been one man's trash yeah and another straight waiting to be a man's no you've got a beautiful partner ablam or whatever whatever. Whatever the fuck you saying. Who's this? Ablam. No, I don't know. And the second one is, the difference between a craft and art is that art has a piece of the artist soul in it.

You can make the most beautiful painting in the world, but if it doesn't have soul, it's a craft. You were so close. I was so close to that. I felt close to that. That's nice. I felt confident. I felt good about that. So you're saying like something can be objectively bad, but if you put your heart and soul into it, it's art.

That's art. And I think that also means that if you put your soul into some craft, you've elevated it to art. This is art now. I like this noodle pattern. This macaroni plate that I spray painted silver. Up in my heart and soul under that. You're holding it up right now. It's beautiful. Thank you. I worked really hard on it. That's all.

Took me 10 minutes. That's long enough. Sky then says, I wonder if Sky will explain the title. Also about the title. I've just done figure drawing, nude modeling for him in his art gallery. Okay, bye everyone. Much love. Good on you.

Good on you. Good on you, Skye. Rich Taru. That's a great name. It looks like Thoreau, but Skye put it out. Phonetically. And that is something that will help me every time. Stop holding hands.

Please stop holding hands. The final one comes from Pervert Paramedic. I like that name. That's something I should get behind my other nickname. That's not the title though. The title is Chief Medical Officer who will take a peek whilst appearing very professional. Oh my God.

I don't like that. Oh my God. I don't like that anymore. Take it back. That's not my nickname. That's too late. That is a lot. So take a peek at someone really ancient.

Wow. You sound awesome, Brad. Can I have yours? You sound awesome. Nice. Nice. Okay. I wish us to see see what this fact or question is. Hope it's not a break. It's a suggestion. Okay. I hope it's not.

You guys should get into it. Yeah, exactly. Matt, please only read this out when the three of you are together. Oh, all right. Well, I think of you as a Dave. Jess. Yeah, I think Jesse's both Dave and Jess at the moment. I'll pass it on to Dave. How about that?

Yeah, she can whisper it to him. Do you want to call it? Dave will listen in. My Patreon donation is only for you. I will occasionally listen to bookcheat but cannot support literature and Jess has a real job. Oh, it doesn't anymore. It doesn't have a real job. Oh, it doesn't anymore. Don't have a real job. So it doesn't need my cash.

Well, that's changed since the time of writing. These two. I need cash. Get nothing from me. Keep up the good work, Matt. Jeez, you are making me feel uncomfortable. Keep going with who knew it and bring back primates. Only really joined up on Patreon to ask my question on

who knew with Mathjewel. Might stop my payments once I've been read out before you lot bankrupted me. Remember nothing for the Sass Twin freeloaders. Much love pervert. I reckon I'm looking forward to hearing what Jess thinks about this. I would just love to go see how much pervert gives us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fun. If it's five bucks. No, he's in the Sydney Shambu. True, true, true, true, I beg your pardon. I roll up. I roll up, but he's your bankrupt. I don't have a real job anymore. Yeah, this is my job. So this is for you and me, but Dave can obviously. Dave can go fuck himself. He has like three other jobs. And he's alive. And he's alive and well. But I mean, pervert, if that is your real name, you are just making me not want to read out your question. I can keep stringing you along till I get you to bankruptcy.

And I think probably with the way you go about your paramedic profession, maybe you'd be better off. That's right. Yeah. Anyway, thank you so much to Pervert. No, because then if we bankrupt him, then he has to keep working. Oh, thank you so much to perfect. Because then if we bankrupt him, then he has to keep working. Oh, that's right.

I was picking up more shifts. Yeah, he's getting lots. We need him. Yeah, we'll get a lot to hear. We're gonna get him off the books. 25 bucks. I'm saying him could be her. Yeah.

Women can be perverts. Women can be perverts too. Same as me. Yeah, we're not as good at it. Not as good. Not as good. But we can do it. But God, you perverted. And just looking at you right now. Oh yeah, I'm a bit of at it. Not as good. Not as good. But we can do it.

But God, you perverted. Oh, yeah. And just looking at you right now, it's a whole... Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a bit of a... There's not even... There's more than two options. What could be they? Could be whoever.

Absolutely right. Could be whoever. So, I don't mean to be so man-centric. Yep. That I think, oh, it's a pervert. Must be a man. Yeah. I think that's wrong.

I think that, though. And as a feminist... I'll claim I think that. Well, you're not a feminist, I mean, as a feminist, I think we're equal. We're all equal. Jess and saying. Oh, shit. Both of you shut the fuck up. Have you thought about a show title for you, Matt Centric? Oh, Matt Centric. I like that. What's that a play on? Ego Centric? Except eccentric. Oh, okay. Yeah. Matt centric. I like that. What's that apply on egocentric except eccentric. Oh, okay. Yep, Matt centric. I think I like it. I like how it will confuse people. Yeah.

You don't you don't need to make sense to be good. Yeah, but you're right. The show. My shows are pretty Matt centric. I think you should call a show a feminist. That is fun. I'll go and see that show for sure. Okay. And you got your finger out. I'm keen to do that. You got your finger on somebody's lips. Can't take the person just big lips coming out from the bottom. I'll do it.

I'm happy to be on the post. Yeah, great. You have a lips anytime. Hey, come on. Now leave these lips alone. My coconut crab. My sweet, sweet coconut crab. That's what I call Jess now.

My sweet, sweet coconut crab. That's so sweet. It's nice, isn't it? The next thing we like to do, Sam, is thank a few of our other great patron supporters. These are on the shout out level or above, which is the arse prod level. Mother nickname. And the way we normally do this, Jess, when we comes up with a bit of a game based on the topic.

Yeah, I'm thinking what reality TV show made them quite famous. Okay, great. So, um, it can be real or made up. Wow. We've got Sam in who's made so many shows. Um, I think he maybe Sam can, you and I read out the things and Sam, unless he needs our help can be the one. You're right to come up with nine reality TV show ideas?

Sure. All made up, were they? They can be made up. They can be real. They can be based on real if you want to just change a real one slightly. Yeah. And if I could kick us off, I'd love to thank from Battery Point, beautiful neck of the woods down in Tasmania. Love the shippies down there. Love the shippies.

But from Battery Point, It's Hamish. What made Hamish famous? What made Hamish famous? Yeah. Well, it was going, going on the spirit of Tasmania. They had a reality TV show there for a few years where you would go on the spirit of Tasmania. It was like below deck.

Yeah. The TV show below deck, but it was just a spirit of Tasmania. And you had to be with all the other people. Like, but you had to the crew were actually disguised as passengers. And you had to kind of guest and vote each other out every day. Who was the crew and who was a passenger? So who was actually working there and who wasn't? And Hamish came dead last night, but made an impact because they got fiery on the way out.

Yeah. And they shouted and basically dragged off the ship. Yeah. Wow. And what was that one called? That was called crew or passenger. That was called crew or passenger. Yeah. And by Haymesh. One season? Once only one season. It was half a season actually. Yeah. I'd also love to thank from Shipston on Stour, if that's how you say it, from Great Britain, it's Tamsen Moss. Tamsen Moss. So Tamsen Moss was on a TV show

where you had to actually guess which one was related to Tara Moss. And you had to guess. And so it was like a line of people. And so each day they'd be by a pool, all these women standing there on a pool. And Tara Moss didn't know her relative, so she didn't know one of her relatives. And she had to guess. And each week she would go and she'd push someone into the pool to-

Oh, man-o-man stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man-o-man stuff, so she'd actually push them in the pool to get rid of them. Wow. And some would drown. Okay. Okay, wow.

They only made half a season of that as well. They couldn't swim. They couldn't, some of them couldn't swim. And they didn't check that in, though. And if she pushed her cousin into the pool, the show- The show was over. And she got her on the first guy,

so it was a very short show. And what was that one called? in the pool. The show was over. And she got her on the first guy, so it was a very short show. And what was that one called? That was called Moss Under the Tree. Okay. Didn't make sense, didn't it? Like a family tree. Family tree, yeah. It's kind of like that.

Next up I'd love to thank from Leicester in Great Britain, it's Christoph Michaels. Oh, incredible name. Christoph Michaels. So Christoph did undercover boss Saturday Night Lifestyle as Lorne Michaels During that time and pretended to be Lorne Michaels for three weeks. Wow People had to figure out if it was actually Lorne Michaels or not because they had the same surname I had the same surname but they couldn't work it out because a lot of the people had facial blindness. Can you do Can you do it Lorne Michaels impersonation? Yeah Can you do it along? Mark was impersonating.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's quite. He's quite. He's quite. Quite. Quite famous and quite poppy.

He's Dr. Aval's based on him. Yes. Can you do Dr. Aval? I'm so evil. Yeah. There you go.

He does that a lot. Yeah. That's a little pinkie up to my. Pinkie face there Jess. Yeah, I'm sitting in front of you. I can see that. Do you want to do it with you or do you want me to keep me going? I'll do it. Do you want me to keep me going? Good talk. Why don't you do one more and then I'll do the rest. Love that. Keep it a bit fair. Alright, well my last one I'd love to thank from Iowa Falls. Oh, man. I love Iowa Love love the idea of Iowa never been but I heard never been in the world never been but Bill Bracens from there

And that from my own falls it I'd love to thank Bodie a fallabi Bodie a fallabi what's Bodie from so on one of the great bird watching FLRB what's Bode from? So on one of the great bird watching reality TV shows actually. So you had to go bird watching for a week and at the end of the week. So they'd line up all these birds and one of them was fake. Wow.

And you had to shoot the one you thought was fake. This is a real insight into your mind. Yeah. But some of them sometimes they get it wrong in their shot, like a really rare bird. Well, an endangered one. Endangered one. Wow. So that was kind of a, yeah, a lot of people, a lot of groups came after them.

Oh, was that one Birds of Prey? Was it that show? Birds of Prey. I do remember seeing that one. Holy shit, that's a really good name. Yeah, yeah. Great showed idea as well. A great show.

Great show. It's a Bode or Bodie, a Falabi. It was famous for real hit maker. One that series actually, shot a lot of birds. Yeah, a lot of them were endangered. Shot a lot of birds. I'd love to thank some people as well if I may. From Kentucky, from Harrodsburg in Kentucky,

I would love to thank Zach Butler. Zach Butler. Do you remember Zach? Zach, how can I forget Zach? Zach was actually incredible because Zach did a show called Butler or Not. Yeah. Butler or Not, and basically he had to.

Well, I don't know if you guys know this idea, but you know, it's all coming to me back. I haven't seen it for such a long time. But yeah, he had to go into people's houses as a private butler for a year, to live as a butler for a year and then found out that he was only earning minimum wages a butler. And there was no prize money at the end. Yeah, and he only found that out at the end. But he had to pretend, he had, you know, school like had an

allocation lesson. Yeah, but I have to really, but it had to go to butler. And had a bottle and was, yeah, and was trained by Bruce Wayne's butler Alfred. Really? He's one of the big butlers. One of the big butlers in the world. Yeah. Yeah.

One of the best butlers. Yeah. John Butler. Tria. Tria, that'd be the next three. I think, I think yeah, it goes from Alfred. Alfred. Then you got the John Butler trio. Yeah, and fifth maybe even is Zach. Yeah, I think so. There's not that many butlers these days. No, it's a dying art. And I'll be honest, it wasn't a good TV show, but you know, Coddy was good on it. I knew when butlering was on its way out was when Jeeves had to go into the dotcom boom.

That's right, make a website. And when you're all the way up. Mate, if Jeeves is having to get a job online, then Westoff, or the butler industry is absolutely stuffed. The ass has fallen out of it. Yeah, you're always saying that. Yeah, yeah, it's a funny phrase. The ass has fallen out of butlering.

The ass is falling out of it. We always say that yeah, yeah, it's the house has fallen out of butler. Yeah falling out of it We always say that oh my god So thank you to Zach and sorry about minimum wage. I'm so glad that he didn't get shot though. That's where I thought it was going We're getting shot. I'll push it to pools From WA. I don't know how to say this. I've never heard of this place Baldivis I've never heard of this place. Balthedivus? Oh, Balthedivus. Balthedivus. In Western Australia. Wow.

I'm sure I've said that wrong and I apologize to Thomas Schubert. I'm pretty sure. I know you know you'll explain it, but I'm pretty sure the show was called. Baldivus. Is that right? Baldivus. Baldivus. Well, how did that show go?

So that was a disco. It was disco bald. It, it was disco ball. It was actually called disco ball debas. And every night they had to dance on the disco floor and they would lower the lower the disco ball. And by the time it hit the floor, you had to be under it, but still dancing. So it was the winner was the lowest dancer. Okay.

So you'd actually have to sometimes. So usually it would end on the floor with someone like just shimmying on the floor. Underneath the bitch's cable. But it would crush you. So if, yeah, you got quite tight and a lot of the time there were a lot of injuries, a lot of people had to go. But luckily there was a pervy paramedic that was just close by, so it was fine. But a lot of people were injured in that time.

Wow. So again, a short run show. Short run show. It's interesting that all of these people have been on... That's why I haven't heard of... Yeah, pretty unsuccessful shows. Yeah, that's why I haven't heard of these. Yeah, that's why I haven't heard of these been on. That's why I haven't heard of them. Yeah, pretty unsuccessful shows. That's why I haven't heard of these.

Yeah, that's why I haven't heard of them. Yeah, they were all the breakout stars. Breakout stars. Yeah. There's different levels of being a breakout star. If you're a breakout star on a show that bombed. Yeah. Ah, well, you know.

Still a good, if you come out on top of that. Yeah. A bomb show, you're doing pretty well for yourself. If you don't tap out, does the ball end up just crushing you? Yeah. Yeah, it's brutal. Did anyone die? Yeah, yeah, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay. Yeah. Pretty brutal.

The insurance on that alone was. Oh, were you involved in that production? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Let's not push, let's move on. I can't actually talk about it. Couple more I'd love to thank from Sewell in New Jersey, New Jersey, it's Louis Sedona.

I'm at the boss. Is it? Yeah. Well, that's what the show was about. The boss? It was you had to be the assistant to the boss and he had like 30 assistants at that time and you had to...

Sounds like the apprentice. It's kind of like that. That's why it didn't last that long. So yeah, it's very similar to the apprentice but you had to work for him and it was like just finding like his like his contact lens in the pool. And stuff. And he just shout and scream at you.

And you actually, it was a very unlikeable side of the boss, which is very rare. Yeah. That's behind closed doors. Behind closed doors. See the real boss. And yeah. And so it was just called the boss. And you just had to work for him for a week.

And he had, I think at at that point there were 112 contestants and they all had to live in the house with him on bunk beds and they had to read to him at night. That's what make him take more mad to, yeah, just bathe him and stuff. It was pretty, yeah, pretty amazing show. Never got released. How was it? No, absolutely by Catstar.

And did, where the cameras? No. No camera. How did contestants get eliminated? he pushed them into a pool. That makes sense. So yeah, thank you. You support balls involved lot of pools of these shows. I would also like to thank from shepherden north here in Victoria Daniel Sullivan. Daniel Sullivan god.

This is a lot of bricks bricks is hometown. That's right. Yeah,, this is a lot. Briggs Briggs hometown. That's right. Yeah. So this was a Shep life. So this was a bake off sort of show. Yeah. They had to make the best shepherds pie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And usually they had to use ingredients that they never found. So the great thing about that was some of the shop birds were the ingredients for that show from. Oh, wow. From birds of prey.

Birds of prey. So yeah, So yes. Same production company. Same production company. Yeah, they wanted to save money. So they actually had to make it from any ingredients that they'd find in the bin that day. Oh, it makes you shed the pie out of it. Oh, so it's out a little bit of Nikolai rushes. That's right. You're being a Nikolai rush.

That's right. And yeah, and so they had to just make a whole pie and then you you had skinny bean would use the pies at the end in the people's faces. Yeah. So he used to come on clown and do all the clowning stuff as well. So he used to like smash someone's face was really interesting. That's really great. Yeah. Absolute breakout star of that show. And what was it called? It was called Shepard's Pie. And finally, I would love to thank from Bald Knob in Queensland, Peter. That can't be true.

That's a P-E-T-A. Bald Knob? Bald Knob. Bald Knob. Well, that was actually the name of the show, Bald Knob. Okay. And actually signed an NDA, so I can't talk about it. I actually can't talk about it.

The show that was, it was a bit of a rude show. Yeah, I think I get it. It was about it. Bald Knob. Bald Knob. It's a real place, population of 280 people. Well, it's 280 people. Have you seen a great suggestion

from the watch Lastop Larimer? Have you seen that? No. Go watch it on Netflix.com. It's a town of like, I think there's only 12 people and there's a murder. It's a documentary. Wow.

It's really good. It's really good. There's a murder in the town. That sounds like one of your reality shows. It does. It's just really. 12 people, one of them's shot. Carrowing, they always describe my shows as harrowing. But yeah, it's really interesting. It's really good. 12 people, one of them shot. Carrowing.

They always describe my shows as harrowing. Wow. But it's really interesting. It's really good. Last old Larimer. Bold Knob. So, Bold Knob's named after a local mountain feature, which was named in 1895 because the lightly forested bald features stood out from the surrounding vine forests.

That's gorgeous. Yeah. What a bold Knob. You say bald like bald. gorgeous. Yeah. What a bold knob. You say bald like bald. Bold knob. What a bold knob. Do you say bald and bald the same? Bald and bald.

Can you hear me saying two different ways here? Bald and bald. Yeah, I can. Yeah. Bald and bald. So I talk. Okay. And when you say a cricketer like well bald Shane. Well, bald Shane.

Bald. It's the same again. The same again. Well, bald Shane. That's cool. And when you say a cricketer like well bold Shane, well bold Shane, bold. It's the same again. Well, bold Shane. That's cool. He's called. Yeah. I feel cool about it. You're like, you're like Groot.

You can say one thing and it means a lot of different things. Yeah, that's right. And you just have to pay enough attention to learn. Yeah. You have to learn yourself. Make you do a lot of heavy lifting when you're talking to me. Thank you so much to Peter, Daniel, Lewis, Thomas, Zach, Bodie, Christoph, Tamsen and Hamish.

And the last thing we like to do, Sam, don't think it's over. Not over yet. We welcome a few people into the Triptych Club. How exciting is this? Jess, you could probably explain to Sam better than anyone. Well, this is for people who have supported us for three consecutive years on the shout out level or above. We welcome them into this exclusive club.

Once you're in, you can't leave. Matt is at the door with the clipboard. He raises the rope. He lets you in. Dave hypes you up. I'm behind the bar. Dave also books a band. I've booked a band this week.

Oh, awesome. And actually it's so crazy that it was sort of about reality TV because from the 2000s show pop stars. Great show. We actually have Bardo. Whoa, this is huge. Oh, I was talking about Sophie Munk just before. The whole gang. Tiffany, Belinda, Sophie, Katie and Sally are going to be in the club performing. Reuniting. Some of their hits for us, including poison these

days and I need somebody. That's one of my favorites. That's really great. That's so cool. Yeah, very exciting stuff. I think did some of them go on to be in Thorpey's Angels? Yeah. Is that right?

I think Sophie Monk was in Thorpey's Angels. Ian Thorpe the swimmer. Yeah. I did like a Charlie's Angels sort of thing. Rally TV show. Yeah, I did like a Charlie's Angels sort of thing. Really TV show. Yeah. Great show. And the angels would like help like someone like re-apost her a couch.

You know, like it was really. No, it wasn't Sophie, but it was one of them. And Jackie Oh was one of them too. Oh yeah, she was one of the Angels as well. What the fuck? Yeah. Good show. Good show.

Good, good show. Good good good show piece angels good TV It was called undercover angels. Oh, sorry, but yeah, I know what you meant. You knew what I mean I don't know you talking about these angels. Oh Yuck anyway funny Yes, so Bardo's playing yes, they're not being supported by the other band scandalous No, no scandalous. No. Scandalus. We can't have them in the same room. Season 2.

Season 2's pop stars. Can't afford Scandalus. So Sam, I'm gonna... It's so good that you're here. Yeah, I love Benny. Maybe he can play the Dave role of... Yeah, absolutely. So what we do is, we've got three people who are being welcomed into the Tripods Club.

They're allowed in, they can't leave. Yes. which is a good thing because it's great in there. And I'll read out their name. They head in, a bit of theatre of the mind. You're up on stage, I'm seeing the night. And you sort of hype them up. Dave normally does with a bit of weak wordplay, but you just do it however you like. You're the MC. What?

Bit of sort of weak wordplay. So puns. Oh, puns. But you just do however you want to do it however you like. Yeah. You're the MC of what? Bit of sort of weak word play. So puns. Oh, puns. But you just do however you want to do it. Yeah. You're MCing this night. Yeah. I'm saying their name.

They're running into the audience. You're hyping them up. You're on the stage with the mic. Yeah. You're hopping up in it in whatever way you like. Dave would normally be like, Western Australia. More like, Western my friendia. You know, like.

Really bad stuff I was doing. All right. So are we ready? Yep. Western Australia more like Western my friend here, you know like really bad All right, so we ready. Yep. Oh Jess. Did you have a drink on the bar? No Nothing this week nothing. It's coming if you just wait a year. Yes, I'll have a drink You're gonna have some Nikita. What Russians can have a meal. Fuck. That's pretty good You're very clever guy. You are very clever guy. That's pretty clever That's pretty clever that is actually very clever pretty clever. Yeah, all right, so Three inductees in the trip to club this week first up, please welcome from

Margaret River in Western Australia. It's a two piece here. Eliana and Josh. Give it up for Margaret River my queens. Some of them like that. Yeah get it girlies. Yep. From Uppsala in SE maybe Yep. It's Daniel K... Kjellan. God! We wish we had time in Palaforte. Sala. Is that how you say it?

Of Sala. Of Sala. You are an absolute king. You go off right now. Look at him. He's amazing. Everyone give it up. Oh, that's good.

That's good. That's good. Daniel Kjellan. And finally from Chermside. Yes. There's a Chermside. We have a Chernside here. Yeah, I know.

From Chermside in Queensland, Australia, it's Brayden Douglas. Yeah, lower that disco ball and dance for me. Dance for me. Come everyone, while you dance. Give me eye contact. Dance. Dance. Wow. Yeah. Welcome in, Br you dance, give me eye contact, dance, dance, dance. Welcome in, Braden, Daniel. I'm his Dave.

Eleana and Josh. Terrible thing to say. Dave would have said, I reckon, you know, Germside, you're from Germside, he would have said something. You're a dog glass half full, my friend. That's better than what he would have done. True. I miss what it says. So you're a Douglas half full. My friend. That's fun. That's better than what he would have done. Yeah. I miss Dave to know it would be Jim side.

You're right. Something like that. Some of them. Yeah, you called everyone else a queen until we got to the Queensland one as well, which I liked. I wanted to hold back. You zipped. You zipped when David was back.

Yeah, that's right. Love that. Uh, well, that brings in the episode. Uh, nothing much left to say apart from thanks so much for joining us, Sammy Peay. Thank you for having me. Thank you for holding my hand the whole time. People can find you on Confessions. Confessions the podcast. It's my podcast. I'm also doing a... I thought it was a podcast.

It's a podcast. Sorry, it's a podcast. But I do write podcasts so people can understand at one point. Right, yeah. I've also got a new podcast out called Your Two Drunk Aunties with Bron Lewis. So that is out by the time you're hearing this, that would have already been released. That's your third one. There's a fourth one then. What's the other one?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then I've got your two drunk aunties with Bronn Laws, which comes out twice a week. And that's going to be bloody fun. It hasn't come out at the time I'm recording this, but it'll be out by the time you listen. And the one that you're not talking about, what happened there? I just stopped doing it for contract reasons, but I can tell you that off the pod. But I'm also doing a gorgeous stand up show. I'm doing my debut solo show and touring around the country. I'm going to Melbourne solo show and touring around Australia.

I'm going to Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney. Oh, fantastic. And it's called Why the Long Face. And it's a story about a publisher telling me that I should write a book about my facial palsy called Why the Long Face. So that is coming all around Australia. Did you say that's your debut? Debu. My debut solo show.

Wow. Yeah. Because you've done quite a few shows Lots of shows with Dave and Fiona. Yeah, and I've done plays and I've done I've done a split show Oh, I've never done a solo show before this is your first solo. Yeah, you also you said debut Which I think international listeners like cuz I say debut and they'll literally laugh at me Oh, when I said so that happened to us that are us at a Birmingham show and it's burnt into my brain. Really? They made fun of you? Yeah. They make it fun. I mean, like a bowl or bold or bold.

It was very odd. Very odd. Oh, that's rude. You know, the most bullies have been bullied and that's that's true. That's me to you. Hope people. Hope people. Thanks so much for joining us everyone. Jess, anything we need to tell them? That we love them. That you can suggest a topic. There's a link in the show notes.

It's also on our website which is dugonpod.com and you can find us on socials at dugonpod. And until next week, I will say goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.