Do Go On - 437 - Denise Huskins; Real Life Gone Girl?

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

In 2015, a Californian man calls the Police to report that his girlfriend has been kidnapped. But this saga is only just beginning, and there are too many twists and turns to count. This is the story of Denise Huskins. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 10:05 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Do Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/american-nightmare-netflix-denise-huskin-vallejo-kidnapping-rcna135039https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/01/18/american-nightmare-denise-huskins-kidnapping-case-netflix/https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/fbi-makes-arrest-kidnapping-case-once-considered-possible-hoax-n391401https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/vallejo-police-accused-of-treating-hoax-kidnapping-victims-as-perpetrators/68180/https://people.com/american-nightmare-where-are-denise-huskins-aaron-quinn-now Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Jess Perkins, and as always, I'm joined by Matt Stewart.

Oh, hello. Hey, quick question. How good is it to be alive? It's pretty darn good. And Dave Waterkey! I'm back, baby! Wow, wow, we told you he was fine. We told you.

We have been assuring people for weeks, Dave, that you're fine. And for some reason, they've taken that to be quite sinister. Yeah, it's weird. Do they know what fine means? I guess not. And maybe that's on us because we haven't defined fine on this podcast. Yeah, that's true. I mean, we were trying to set a low bar.

He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's not thriving, but we were lying because you have been thriving. I've been thriving. I've been surviving. And I have been procreating. Yes, I've had a few weeks off.

Thank you so much to everyone filling in. I've been listening to the show at home. A lot of fun to listen back. But I and myself and my wife have welcomed a baby. Hooray. Who's the father? Still unconfirmed. It's so gross.

It's 2024, boys. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Your wife can have babies with the way. That's 2024. None of your business, mate.

Certainly none of my business. No, that'd be rude for you to ask. Come on. But we're delighted to have you back. Thank you. Yes. And everyone's doing very, very well. Very happy and healthy.

So thank you so much. Very, very weller. That rhymes with someone's name. Your wife, Ella. That's on the record. That's on the record. That's on the record. I thought you were saying, uh, Ben Queller.

Yes. I, wait. Oh, the father. Ella and Ben Queller. Oh, my God. Your stepdad to one of the three Benz's kids. Oh, my God. He's.

What are the chances? What are the chances? But can I just say this. If I was going to guess, it would never have been Queller. I would have said folds every day of the week. Oh, wow. Well, you're a lay woman, no, aren't you? He's not the only one that folds.

You would have guessed Lee? Probably. Yeah. I don't know what's happening. But it is great to be back. Yeah. And I am looking forward to the plethora of no longer a virgin jokes. Oh, no, that won't happen.

We'll still find a way. And are you going to be talking about it extensively week to week and you want people to ask you and probe you about details online? I mean, I've seen a few media personalities, comedians, once they've become fast. others launched Dad podcast. And I was thinking, I've already got a podcast. Maybe that could be this show. Okay. So that's all I'll talk about from now.

Do Dad on. You want to talk about Dad bods, give Dad advice, talk about Dad interests, golf, beer. The firm. What's going on? Ex-wives. How awful they are. I've got a few of those.

You have a little piece on the side. Is that a Dad thing? Is that Dad thing or just my Dad thing? I'm extrapolating a little bit from my dad who's a real piece of shit Nah he doesn't have any of those things He's a great man Never worked to a firm

Teacher, famously a teacher I know so little about like the real world That I'm like, imagine working at a firm You know, with your briefcase, get your tie on Probably catching the train in My dad wore a suit to work and had a briefcase every day Was he part of the firm? Some sort of firm

Wow. Pretty crazy stuff. Jack and he could get me in at the firm. Now I'm dead. He's retired. So he has no connections for you now. But Dave, I have a business proposal for you right now actually. Listening.

Because it's been a while. Maybe you've had time to really reconcile this in your brain, really make this efficient. Could you explain to people just joining us for the first time what this show is? What this show is or what it was? What it was. Because it used to be a history show. And now we talk about dads. And Dave's not joking.

If you do have any questions about the baby, ask him online. Any time a day or night. Please do not. Leave him alone. He's an open book. He's an open dad. No, what we actually do here on the show is we take it in terms to research a topic, often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, we do a little bit of research and we bring it back to the group in the form of a school report, basically.

And the other two people, they sit back. And relax. They let it waft over them. Yeah, like a stench. Exactly. Is that what you do with a stench? I let it watch. Let it waft over you.

Well, what are you going to do? Bring it to me. How are you going to stop a stench coming? Well, what I do is I leave the room. I run. If I have to be in that room, though, I'm like, okay, this is just going to pass. I'll let it waft. I take a really meditative type of approach to it.

You breathe it in. I breathe through it, that's for sure. You say, you do a fart and you say, well, it's okay. Just let it waft. Let it waft over you. And a lady doesn't fart. I was at a urinal recently. Sorry to a big note myself like that.

Wasn't at a firm, was just in a pub, but there was an old fella next to me, and he let one rip. And he goes, I'm so sorry. Did he break down? And I said, he goes, I'm so sorry. And I said, mate, it's not here, where? And then did you shake out? And he said, I'm so glad you. I'm so glad you said so.

He said he'd played as a snorrile with his mind. that he didn't say anything and then I was like excuse me I just saw a single tear fall down Jess's face it was such a funny interaction I am so sorry

I'm so sorry did you let it waft over this I got out of there quick who's in here anymore God stop crying nice big laugh because this is popping

We should say it's Jess's turn to waft. Okay, report on a topic. And we usually start with a question to get us onto the topic. Yeah. Jess, do you need a moment? No, you look great. Great, okay. Well, then I'm fine.

I'm just going to let those tears dry naturally. I'll just say, if not here, where? It's a safe space to cry. It just really got me. Oh, it's such a nice feeling when that happens. You never know where it's going to come from. And it's an old man fighting for you.

You mean it's a nice You never know. It's a nice feeling when you just let a fart out. You never know what it's going to happen. I'm so sorry. Hey. I should say he was Irish.

Oh, perfect. Even better. Yeah, it adds to it. Even better. Oh, that's so good. Okay. I'm so sorry.

That wasn't it. Oh, all right, yeah. So, okay, here we go. So I do have a question to get us onto the topic. But my question is, you won't know about this topic. So can you guess which US state this story occurs in? Maine. No.

Is there any more info or that's it? Just a US state. Okay. Well, I'm going to have to say God's country, Ohio. It's not Ohio. Nevada. Home of Gary. Kind of, getting close.

Indiana. Not, no. Arizona? No, not Arizona. Oh, California. California. Here we can. Beautiful.

What an angel. I like how you started in a range that you couldn't hit and left yourself nowhere to go. No worry. I think I get to still landing here. You have that waft out of you. I thought maybe I could get a bit more breath in there and just never came. Just committed to it.

Oh man, I'm looking forward to this grim topic. All right, we've got the laughs out now. It's kind of good to be in a bit of a silly mood because it is a pretty full-on story. It might, I don't know if this will, this might spoil it for some but really help other people. It's a happy ending. You know? I think that might actually help most people. Great.

And also, we can joke along and not feel bad that it's not going to end well. Because often we don't know, we never know what the topic is going to be. We always just joke along. and sometimes particularly on YouTube, people are like, they comment along, oh my God, I can't believe you're making fun of such a grim topic when this was going to happen half now. We didn't know. We didn't know.

And sometimes that's best. But this topic has been suggested by a couple of people. Matt Rowe from Sydney, Christina Gonzalez from Ventura in California. And I won't even really sort of tell you what the story is. I'll just get stuck into it. Love it. We'll start at the very beginning. Feels like a mystery to me.

Let's find out. There is an element of. mystery, yes. So, in the early hours of Monday, March 23rd, 2015, intruders broke into the home of Aaron Quinn, a 30-year-old who worked as a physical therapist at a nearby hospital. Aaron lived on Mayer Island in Vallejo, California, not too far from San Francisco. Aaron and his girlfriend, 30-year-old Denise Huskins, also a physical therapist, were awoken to bright lights shining in their face and laser dots crossing their bodies. Oh my God.

A man's voice says, Aaron, lie face down. How do they know his name? Oh, aliens. Okay. Early theory. Aliens. Laser dots, that's classic, you know. Torches, bright lights.

Yeah. I love that. I've seen the exiles. Face down. Probe. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what the red dots looking for, where to stick it. The probe.

But da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh. They're just playing with it. Ooh. A little. Foreplay. Again, we don't know what's going to happen. But we know it's grim.

We know it's grim. We know it's grim. Happy ending. So have some fun where you can. Have fun where you can. I think is a great approach to this story. Absolutely terrifying. People have broken in.

Yeah. Life face down. Yeah. Denise is... A probe with a happy ending. That's all the aliens need to do. Yeah. You know?

Oh, okay. Yeah. Make it good at the end. And then they go, oh, you know what? Okay. Okay. It's been great to meet you. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. Could you drop me home. Yeah. Thank you so much. all as well, that ends well. Denise is then instructed to tie Aaron's hands behind his back, and both Aaron and Denise have blacked out swim goggles

placed over their eyes as blindfolds. I hope they can swim. Okay, now it seems like it's like an alien version of jackass. Is that how they're American say it? Jackass. Jackass. Water. I thought it could be that, or it could be Peter Vanden, hoogged and banged.

Oh, the Dutch master of the pill. Yeah. Of the... The pill. Uh-huh. That's how to say it in Dutch. In Dutch. The pill.

Beautiful place. Dutch. I love the Dutch. So they have goggles put over their eyes and headphones placed over their ears. A pre-recorded message tells them to be calm and that they're going to be asked a few questions. It's a sleep app. Just chill. Well, actually, it did have like wind chime music underneath it.

I'll say Trumbly Virtual's voice start speaking. Yeah. He's going to shush you to sleep. Oh, that should be pretty door. Yeah, that's doable. Oh, that should be doable. So we're going to ask some questions. Yeah, you're going to be asked for your questions, mostly relating to financial details,

and that Aaron and Denise are going to be given sedatives. So they're given this, like, liquid to drink. They essentially say, like, if you don't just take it, I'll inject it. So just drink it. They drink it. They reckon it's Nyquil. Like, it's an antihistamine, pretty strong. Put you to sleep.

Oh, okay. At this stage, the intruders have said this is a robbery. So they're asking questions about, like, financial details. So they're like, okay, they want our bank details. They're going to take your stuff and clear out our bank accounts. They're kind of going like, all right, fine, take everything, whatever. Just don't hurt us. They're separated into different rooms of the house.

And eventually, one of the men says to Denise, we have a problem. This wasn't meant for you. This was meant for Andrea. Who's that, you ask? Especially Denise, wondering, who the fuck is Andrea? Well, she knows who Andrew is because that's Aaron's former fiancé. who had been living at the house until the previous September. This is in March.

So they'd broken up the year before. Andrea also worked at the same hospital as them. Right. So she knows who Andrea is, but this has been planned for Andrea, not Denise. Wow, geez. They are slow in executing a plan. Like over a year has passed and they haven't checked in to make sure Andrew's still around. I know, yeah.

And it doesn't, like, I don't know what physical therapists are, but I wouldn't have thought they'd be your number one target for a financial type robbery. Yeah, like a big heist. You're targeting million and billionaires, surely. Yeah. Is it the same as a physio? Yeah. Is they called them that in America fiscal therapist?

So I think they do okay, but yeah, it's not, you know, a finance bro living in a fancy mansion. Yeah. This is a nice little house. There's no Picasso on the wall to Nick. That's it, yeah. So it was meant for Andrea. So that's pretty scary. What a weird thing to say?

Yeah. It's like, all right, mate, are you going on, are you saying it's over now? Yeah. Otherwise, just plow on. Play along. Plow on. I see. Continue on.

Let's, let's, I don't need to hear a blow by blow, mate. Yeah, if you've made a mistake in your plan, how's that my problem? Yeah, that's not my problem. Either end it now, fine. Yep. And go, sorry, it wasn't meant for you. Or, we'll leave you to it. Shut the hell up and get on with it.

Or how rude to say, sorry, we thought this was Andrea. Yeah. You're not as good. Oh, great. Or is this all part of it? They're just there, the jackass. They're there to mess with her in particular. A little psychological.

Maybe Andrew is behind it. You don't look suspicious if they say it was meant for her. Oh, that's clever. Okay. But we do still think it's aliens. Oh, well, that's an early theory, yes. I mean A for Andrea, A for alien. I rest my case.

Can you argue with that? I can't and I want to start with A, don't they? Oh, my God, I didn't even? Yes, there's a whole other level. what he said. The intruders tell Aaron that they're installing a mirroring app on his phone and a camera in his living room so they'll be able to monitor him because they're going to take Denise and they're going to contact him to arrange payment.

They essentially put like red tape around a section of his living room. Oh, they're from bureaucracy. Yeah, classic red tape. Yeah, try and cut through that, man. Like a red duct tape. Maybe it's not even red. They just tape this area and like you have to stay here so we can be watching you. And if he goes out of that room or contacts police or anything,

that they'll know because they're monitoring him. That's scary stuff. They tell him, call in sick, use Denise's phone to say, like, she's email work and be like, a family emergency is come out. I'm out of town, whatever. We'll contact you. So, yeah, he's not to contact police under any circumstances or there will be dire consequences for Denise.

Aaron heard the sound of his Toyota Camry pulling out of the driveway with the intruders and Denise inside. That's the car of a millionaire. That's right. That's right. And he's an enthusiast. Only enthusiasts know the sound of that beautiful Camry per. You know the sound of your own car.

I can identify a Mazda 3 anywhere because mum has one and so I know the exact that sound. A way to docks your mum. Now people know that she is one of three million cars on Australian roads. It's got to be more than that. More than three million? I reckon. Our driving population would be about 15 million. I reckon more

I reckon heaps have got a Mazda 3 Yeah, what are about 14 million of them And this is like in 2008 You know, you've got to think every year They're bringing out a new Mazda 3 Oh, that's true, I forget the year Time does march on So he'd know the sound of his own car

Or a car, whatever, Shut up. It was his car they took. So they've left And he kind of manages to use the armrest of the couch To like push the goggles off his face Because I think his hands are still tied up And he-

They wanted him to email on Denise's phone and he was tied up. How did he get his hands free at any point? I'm not sure about that. Maybe he was using hands free mode on the phone. Or they assumed it'll probably take him about 15 minutes to get this off. By that time we'll be gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe, yeah. So he remembers seeing the time on a digital clock and it was exactly 5am. I love when he say that. Bang on the hour. Yeah, it's satisfying, isn't it? Or 1234. That's the fun one too. Why?

one, two, three, four. Got it. I'm with you. That's satisfying. I was like, okay? That kind of annoys me because it's like not 1230. It was the name of my first crush.

1234. I miss you 1234. She was so beautiful. Anyway, so he tries to stay awake, but the effects of the sedatives take over and he passes out. I mean, that's a bonus, isn't it? You get a good nap.

Because it would be hard to have a sleep after something so traumatic. Yeah, so it is, yeah. Yeah, you would need some to aid. Probably once you wake up properly, you're not going back to. sleep for like a week. Yeah, so it's good that he got in 40 winks. Yeah, he got a few hours sleep because he woke up later that morning, around 11.30. Maybe not 40 wings then. That's

probably about six wings. Do you reckon? Is that 40 winks is an eight hour sleep? Is that right? I don't know. Why is that a saying? I don't know. One wink per hour. Yeah. So you have a 40 hour sleep. That's too long. Yeah. I think you'd feel shit after a 40 hour sleep. But what if, unless I mean 40 winks and they're talking really about blinks, so it's really 20 blinks.

So it's a 20 hours sleep. So what is a blink if not a double wink? A double wink, that's right. Understood. Yeah. It's good to have you boys together again. Makes sense. As I'm trying to build drama.

Well, I just want to say that you told us. I did, yeah. To be silly off topic. because the real topic's grim. Yes, that's true. And we're trying to follow your instructions and we're sorry. I did give that instruction. I am off the record, gripped.

Yes. On the record, making fun. That's right, that's right. It is terrifying. Yeah. So he's woken up a few hours later. The tapes around. Yeah, there's a camera mounted on the wall in his living room.

This is such a big job. And the fact that they have fucked up Denise and... Yeah, and he's ex-fiancee. If that's true. Or if it's mind games. Yeah. And also, yeah, you're also wondering how much of what they're saying is true. Yeah.

Like, maybe they're not really monitoring at all. Yeah, that camera might just be one of those plastic fake ones. Yeah. Maybe they don't even know how to do that. Yeah. You know, maybe it's just a two-person operation and it's all bluff and bluster. Yeah. But you'd be so scared to make any decisions in case you think you're calling a bluff,

but really you're endangering Denise's life. Totally. Yeah, have no idea. Yeah. You'd have to play along just in case. Exactly, yeah. Unless he was some sort of, you know, they didn't realize he's like James Bond and he understands all these things.

Nah, he's just a physical therapist. Right. Not just an important role. Yeah, that thought that was a dismissive. But he isn't a spy. What year are we talking? 2015. It's so recent too.

Yeah, it's only a few years ago. So he started to receive text messages and emails from the kidnappers, giving instructions of the payments he needed to make in order to release Denise. Oh, that'd be the name of the film, wouldn't it? Release Denise. That's good. They would- What a, please, release Denise.

No. Yes. It's a yes for me. Please. What, are you saying, please or police? I wanted to say- Please, police, release Denise. What about that?

Is that a good compromise? We say, please, police, release, release-de-nees. No, I think we go, please, please, release Denise, police. Oh, yeah, no, you're right. You know what I mean? I think Jess is right there. Yeah. Like, it's a quote from the police.

Oh. Oh, that's good. Okay. Like the first bits in, you know, quotation marks. Dash, police. Starring Gary Sinise. Yes. Yeah.

And Gary Sweet. Just for a little sweetness. Gary's better for one. A little bit of sweetenies. Yeah, okay. Than one as well. And Denise Richards. Oh, yeah, got to get Denise in.

And Denise Scott. And Denise ding-dong dries down. Catering by Wee Spars. Oh, yes. Perfect. Can racial we be in? I miss pronouns both of her names. One of them.

You said racial. One of them is not normally hard to pronounce. The other, I was worried about the second, and I failed on the first. Can Rachel Weiss? I said right. It's hard to say Rachel wrong. I was trying to mock you, but what you did was actually way harder. Racial.

That means a lot, actually. It's pronounced racial. Sorry, I thought it was Rachel. No, no, it's racial. So they want, they're demanding, I've seen a couple of different figures. It was either $15,000 or $17,000. They're asking. I think they knew he had like 20 grand in savings.

So it's actually quite nice. They weren't like clear the whole thing out. But that's not enough for this operation. That's right. It seems like not enough. Crazy stuff. Not enough for money for the level of effort. You can't disappear over that money for a long time.

You probably need to after this kind of cry. That's it. And that's a good point. And something that, uh, comes up later maybe. If people ask for 15 grand, you're thinking, do you really have a camera on me? Yeah. Yeah. The sound you're talking about would cost this sort of money probably. It must have been months of planning. And if there's multiple of you and you're splitting it, what are you going to get like, I don't know, if there's three of them, like five grand each or something?

Yeah. That's not worth it. Doesn't make sense. 15 grand. That's what a camera would cost, isn't it? A camera or a camry? Oh, I'm thinking of a Camry. Camry. 2015 money, though, you've got to remember. Yeah, true. It's a different time. Yeah. I think now that would be probably 17 grand, 18 grand. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For three people. Yes. For three people. Yeah, six each. Four. Yeah. Okay.

Quick math. In today's money. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm getting out of bed for six grand. Uh, yeah. I'm walking to the door and saying thanks for that six grand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or wherever they'd even, you know, drive somewhere for it. Would you? Yeah. Would you kidnap a man and a woman? Uh, yeah, no, if that was. the job. For six grand. No questions asked.

Yeah, I'd do anything for six grand. I don't know if I would. Anyway, so they're saying, they're making arrangements for Aaron to drop the money off on Tuesday night. So this all happened on a Monday, like wee hours of the Monday. He's now woken up. It's afternoon of the Monday. They're saying tomorrow night, Tuesday night.

And if the payment's made, then they'll release Denise Wednesday morning. And Aaron's sort of like, he's mind spinning a bit. he's still like pretty groggy and he's becoming increasingly worried that he cannot trust these guys that they'll actually release Denise or if the plan is to meet is a trap and they're going to take the money and then kill him as well like right so they want it in cash yeah so and so he's allowed to leave the little red square then to go to the bank yeah well that's when I would go to a pay phone or just wander into a you know some sort of a private dick office because they never said anything about dicks.

Yeah. They said you can't go to the cops. That's right. What about a PI? Oh, yeah. Who can then call the cops? We're in America, I assume. Yep.

Like, everyone has a gun there. You go to a dick. Those dicks have got guns, don't you? Well, every dick has a gun. You know who else has a gun? Gun shop. Oh, you just go get your own gun. Oh, my God.

But do you want, why do you want the gun specifically? Unrelated. Oh, yeah, I just thought it'd be cool to have one. I mean, when in America, you know what? It's pretty easy over there too, so I think you'd just walk in and get one. Yeah, you could put, I mean, you could go to the bank, you could even say to the teller, hey, I'm being robbed. Yeah. Then they call.

Yes. You know, they probably have pro-calls. There's no way they'd misinterpret that and put an alarm, pull an alarm on you. Or do you get tackled by security. And you're like, no, no, I'm getting robbed. Yeah. And they're like, oh, sorry. Sorry.

But they've already tased you. I know they're like, what are you talking about? You're not being robbed. You're here asking for money. Yeah. You're doing the robbing. Oh, yeah, they say, I'm being robbed. And they're like, oh, another person complaining about our fees.

All right, we get it. We have to pay for the overhead somehow, okay? We've got a really fancy office here, and we need to pay for that. Our boss makes a lot of money. Okay? He draws a large wage. Our lunch is free every day. You think that just appears?

Yeah. You've got to pay for that. Money's not free. I don't know what it's like working at a bank. I don't think it's that. Is that a firm? Yeah, the banking firm. That's a firm.

The banking firm. Well, do you want to hear. what he actually does. Oh yeah, that'd be great. Because he's aware that they're monitoring his phone and he knew he couldn't call 911 without potentially endangering Denise's life. So he decided to risk calling his brother who actually is an FBI special agent. Oh, this is what I'm talking about he's a, he's a dick. He's a dick. He's like a, but he's not a PD. He's not a private dick. He's like a federal dick. Federal dick. I'm thinking what does a dick mean? Does anyone know what a dick I mean, in this scenario?

If you have to ask. Yeah. You don't get it, man. Yeah, okay. So it's a need to know basis thing. I think we found a new podcast virgin. Doesn't know what a dick is. Yeah, it makes two of us.

No, Dave. I'm trying to help you. God damn it. I hope Ben Quiller is well anyway. I am. Is weller. I'm thinking the, first I was really impressed by their operations. seem very professional.

Now I'm thinking they're only one, a small amount of money comparative to what they want. They haven't, they've, they've claiming that they've got the wrong woman they've kidnapped, and they haven't worked out that his brother is an FBI agent. Yeah, he's not a good target. Yeah, not good.

I'm starting to think that it's his brother doing a Bucks Day prank. Jackass. That's a bit of fun. What, but he's saying, he's calling his brother from his own phone that he believes to be mirrored? Yeah, because he reckons that he could, like,

if questioned about, out of whatever. He could be like, oh, my brother was supposed to be coming over that morning, that afternoon. I was just calling him to say, don't come. He didn't consider calling from a different phone. But they're watching him anyway. Oh, they are. Well, the camera's on. Right, but he's allowed to go to the bank. No, no, no, he's like, he's still at home. Oh, right. Yeah, he's still at home now. Okay. So. I'd get, on the way to the bank, what I would do is use any other phone. Yeah. To call the brother. Okay. That's an interesting approach. But I actually, I haven't. I haven't.

he just uses his phone I mean that's way more efficient and I should have thought of that and maybe like if Denise's phone was still there just use that isn't that the one that didn't they say they had to use her phone I guess so

I don't know if her phone is still there or for an email so not for a phone call phones can't do that so anyway he calls his brother and yeah like I said sort of reckons he can come up with a bit of an excuse

as to why he had to call his brother if he's questioned about it you know he can make it look kind of innocent he calls his brother and his brother says Call 911. Call 911. I'm really busy.

You want the full force behind you. Like, just call 911. Just do it. Can you call for me? Because they're mirroring this phone. Yeah. And they said they will kill her if I do this. And you're in the FBI.

So they'll take you quite seriously. Any chance you could just take a minute to call them yourself, brother? No. So Aaron calls 911. This is a, that's not a good bro. By this point, it's just before 2pm. So Denise was taken around. around 5 a.m.

Shit, they're long gone. He calls it 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Police turn up at Aaron's home, begin a bit of their investigation, they're looking around the House for Evidence, they're gathering statements from Aaron, and Aaron explains that the night before Denise had come over to his place

and the two had planned to talk through some issues they were having in their fairly new relationship. Aaron's ex-fiancee, Andrea, also worked at the same hospital as Aaron and Denise, and Andrea and Aaron had had a pretty messy breakup the year prior due to Andrea's infidelity. The rejection and the heartbreak had been really hard for Aaron, and he and Andrea had been texting a bit recently,

which had caused arguments for Aaron and Denise. Essentially that night, they were discussing if their relationship was going to move forward or end. They were at a bit of a crossroads. That's when this happened? Yeah. Oh, wow. So through the course of the evening, Aaron said that he had apologized for betraying Denise's trust.

He promised to go to therapy, cut contact with his ex. Physical therapy? And they had the two. Because I know I go, he would have said, me. Me. Or you, whatever. And they basically decided to move forward with their relationship. They resolved their argument.

They'd gone to bed and then wake up in the middle of the night to this happening. Lovely. Can I just check something, Bob? Please. Did, you know when they said, oh, they said to Denise, oh, we thought you were Janet or whoever. Andrea. Andrea. Was that within earshot of him?

Or was that just directly to her? I'm not sure if he was, I think this was when they're in separate rooms. Oh yeah, I was just wondering if it was for his benefit or not. So it was just for her. I'm just wondering if she's in on it or not. You know what I mean? Denise or Andrea. Either or both.

Right. Okay. Probably only one of them. But Denise is in the other. Yeah, because you're wondering like who's reported that. So he said, I heard them say, or as Denise Alator said. And if he was the one, if he heard it, maybe, you know, maybe it was, Maybe Denise is in on it trying to mess, you know, trying to, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what these broads can get up to. I'm so sorry, I added that out. I didn't feel good as a feminist. This is what a feminist looks like, okay? Yeah, imperfect. And I'm, okay? Okay.

Yeah. Sometimes bit of the soge. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Are feminists? Are they misogynistic? Yes. Yeah.

Head to toe. Day and day out. Yep. Nine to five. Yep. And the hours in between. That's right. which I think that's what, and the hours outside of.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm the biggest misogynistic asshole in the world. Yep. But am I a feminist? Yes. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. That's right.

Okay, ladies, so back off. Yeah. Yeah. Good to eyeball the camera for that. Back off, ladies. That felt right. Normally I'm telling women to lean in. So every now and then, you're just got to say, a bit of room.

Yeah. Yeah. You've actually led to it a bit too far. Okay? Still have personal space. All right. all feminism aside, I still have personal space. Yeah, okay.

Anyway, so Aaron told police about the home invasion, about the goggles, about the pre-recorded audio and the headphones. As police continued to question Aaron, they were pretty flabbergasted by the story he was telling. At one point, Aaron recalled that during the home invasion, he said he was shivering and he asked for a blanket. And one of the men said, oh, I'm sorry, I forgot how cold it is because we're all wearing wetsuits. What the fuck? That's a twist. Which police were like, the fuck? Why?

And later... Was he able to see him before they put the goggles on or they were pretty much lights in the eyes? He never really saw anything. Yeah, never saw anything. But did he hear them flip, flip, flopping around with flippers on? You know who doesn't know what's appropriate to wear on Earth? Aliens.

Shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just went to the first clothing store. they could find it happened to be wet suits or us. Yep.

So the detective from Vallejo Police who was sort of in charge of this is a man named Detective Matt Mustard. Oh my God. How good is that? That is got to be close to the perfect name. That's incredible. And Matt is such a boring name. Yeah, but there's nothing you could do to Matt to make it great.

But if you put a little mustard on it. Oh my God. Oh my God. Matt Mustard. I personally prefer Mayo, but that's good stuff. He comes up a lot. He thought. Does he have a father?

He, I can neither confirm nor deny. Jack my dad was in Cluedo? That would be wild. What a claim to fame that would be. Yeah, my dad was in a board game. And I wonder he's a detective. Yeah, yeah. Followed in dad's footsteps.

That's nice. Anyway, so he... Well, no, that weren't his footsteps, was he? He was a murder suspect, not a detective. Anyway. Sometimes he was the murderer. That's how that game works. What?

It's pretty exciting. Spoilers. So, yeah, he said they're wearing wetsuits. and Matt Mustard. They are on an island. You said that. That's right. But a stupid detail to say.

Oh, so sorry. We're wearing wetsuits. My head's a little hot. I'm wearing a blonde wig. Aaron later was sort of like, I guess it kind of does make sense in terms of not leaving any kind of evidence behind. And also, they're on an island and there's only kind of one road in and out. So if something goes a bit pear-shaped, can they take to the water?

And also, when you're... diving, I believe, you pissed in your own wetsuit. So you don't need to use the toilet. You would be warm. Oh, yes, you don't need to use a toilet. That's right. What? You're piss in a wetsuit?

You've never pissed in a wetsuit? Come on. I don't think so. Live a little. I knew you'd spewed in a wetsuit multiple times, Bob. I didn't know you were pissing. Jokes on you. Wasn't wearing a wetsuit those times.

Was just in my togs and a life jacket. Man, it is coming out from all ends for you, isn't it? It was. When you scuba diving. It wasn't good. I'm not allowed in the water now. Anyway, so Matt Mustard, here's that wetsuit. Here's Aaron's story, and he is like, this is absurd.

And more and more and more believed that Aaron wasn't a victim, but a suspect. Oh, my gosh. He's like, this story doesn't make any sense. Right. So, they question neighbours of Arons. As a feminist, I went straight to thinking the women had done it, because, you know, as a feminist, I'm drawn to the women. But statistically, who is likely to do it?

But you want to believe that they're capable of this. Yeah, that's what I think. A woman could be a criminal. And should be. And should be. Yeah. If they want. Women should be criminals.

They have agency, as far as I'm concerned. So they question the neighbours. They're looking around the house. You see the group of guys with wetsuits? Carrying blacked out goggles. Nobody reports seeing or hearing anything that night. And so they're like, how does Denise just disappear without? anyone hearing or saying anything.

How does that happen? And why is he following these rules? He probably isn't. He's told this story. What rules? The rules about the tape and the mobile phone. Why would he be following those rules if he was in on it? But I guess we're only taking his word for it that he did follow those rules. Yeah, I guess so.

And the fact that he called his brother, maybe that was just him trying to create some sort of alibi or whatever. Who knows? Why would I've called my brother if I was in? No. My question is why would he do it? Because the aim is to drain his bank account. He's already got that money.

Or is it is the aim for him to be the hero to his girlfriend or something like stupid like that? You know, one of those movies where people are really stupid? Yeah. Or you did say it's grim. Maybe it's because she gets murdered. And then you can say, oh, it was the robbery gone wrong or something like that. Oh my God, that is grim. And that's kind of where Matt Mustard is leaning.

Okay. So this is verbatim. The documentary American Nightmare came out on Netflix only just in January. And it has like some of the actual interview footage. So this is verbatim from Matt Mustard to Aaron Quinn. I'm going to be honest with you. Your story is very elaborate and in some ways far-fetched in my mind. I'm here to find the truth.

I'm a puzzle maker. I put a lot of puzzles together. I don't think she was kidnapped. Puzzle maker. When you think about it, he is making the puzzle. Yeah. You know? Because at first I was like, you fucking idiot.

And he also keeps saying in relationship to this. And I'm like, nope, that's not how. It's in relation to this. I'm like, okay, well, you're an idiot. Allegedly. Oh, just saying allegedly because he's still alive in an active police officer. Yeah, well, no, I think that's a place where you're going to be soon. But I think, I think, uh, language.

is fluid. Yes. And I think the way we speak is the way the language is. Beautiful. I don't think you can't say that's not how you talk when someone is talking like that. Exactly. One woman's physiotherapist is another woman's physical therapist.

Yeah. Wow. We think. We think. At least they do similar things, I reckon. Anyway, this is for a while. Oh, sorry. Yeah.

And this is still in relationship to the story? Still in relationship to the story. I don't think she was kidnapped from your home. I think something bad happened in your house. house and it happened between you and her. Do you think people kidnap people for $20,000? They don't. Dave, you were saying that. You're like, that's too little money. And they're wearing what? Did they swim in wearing their wetsuits? I mean, come on, man. It doesn't make any freaking sense. So now I get out my puzzle pieces and I start figuring out. Okay, how do I make it

so that you look like a monster? Then it continues. Whoa. Maybe she overdoses. Are you playing with prescription drugs from work? It's okay if you are. And you take too much, And she overdoses and you're like, oh shit, what am I going to do? I can see that happening too. And then he tells him, there's blood in your house. I don't know if it's hers yet, but I'm going to presume that it is. I'm going to presume that she wasn't alive and kicking when she left the house. And then, this is another quote.

Maybe you called Andrew's name out during sex and she got pissed and you carted her out of there. And then Aaron says, I did not do that. And Detective Mustard says, yeah, you did. What? Yeah, you did. So he's like, this is what happened. Yeah. It's really uncomfortable to watch.

He is a puzzle maker. He's making up bits and forcing him together. That's what happened. But it's so funny that the first thing he said that didn't happen is like, no, that did happen. I would have been like, oh wait, so did the other thing happen? Yeah, yeah. Because you said another whole thing and you didn't say anything to that. And it must be that there's part of like interrogation techniques where you do kind of push them, push them, push them in the hope that they crack and reveal something.

So a part of me is like, okay, maybe he's doing that. but it's really uncomfortable to watch. He's not a puzzle maker. He's a frazzle maker. He's frazzling this guy. He's given the full fras. He's got the full fras. Maybe that's the name of this movie.

Full fras. The full fras. With Matt Mustard. They've also, they've taken Aaron in and they've like given him, I think they took his clothes to sort of test for stuff. So they've just given him like prison clothes. And they sort of start by being like, sorry, man, it's just all we have. But really, they are treating him like a suspect.

And he's there for so long. Sorry, it's hard to treat you with respect when you're wearing that outfit. Yeah, yeah. I just, I see those stripy pants and I'm like, this crook. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry we had to put the ball in chain on you, but it's like there's a one, one size fits all.

Yeah, yeah. You have that part of the costume. You have to take it all. Yeah. Sorry. Do you understand? You get it. So he ends up like, Aaron's sitting there like, why, why are you questioning me, like go be looking for the,

what for Andrew, for, not Andrea, for Denise. Exactly. Got him. Got him. Got him. Just like he did drink sex. Yeah. And that's why he killed her.

So he, Aaron agrees to a lie detector test, a polygraph. This is 2015 when they've well and truly been defunct, right? Yeah. Debunked even. Have they? Are they bullshit? Yeah. Oh, that's fun. And this, the polygraph happens at about 4.30 in the morning on the Tuesday.

It's so late. You know, he's been in the police station for so long. At the conclusion of the test, FBI special agent Peter French, sits down opposite Aaron and says, right, Aaron, there's. no question in my mind that you have absolutely failed this test. And he continues to like interrogate. He does the same sort of thing as mustard did of just like telling Aaron what happened. French and mustard. What a combo. Yeah. French mustard. Dijon. That's what that could be the Dijon boys. That's nice. Yeah. That's nice. That's a cute team. Do you think like,

because you know how it's Dave's report and you and I were the Sass twins? Do you think you guys can be the Dijon boys? Can we be the Dijon boys? Yeah. I like that. That's cute. Adding little flavor. My little liegean boys. Little extra something. Anyway, so they... They said you failed...

You failed this. But do you want to fail a lie detector test? We've failed to detect any lies. Oh. You don't want to pass a lie detected. Do you? Well, I guess you do, because they'd be like, did you kill Denise and you say no and it says you're telling the truth?

It would be really fun if he got him on that. That would be good. And they're like, hang on. He might be right there. Huh. Huh. You failed the lie detector test. So after more interrogation, and again, he's been there for like 18 hours.

Aaron's like, I need a lawyer. Like, what the fuck? Like, he's gone in thinking he's going to be giving a statement to help them find the people that have taken Denise. And now he's being questioned and interrogated. So he's like, I need a lawyer. Oh, my God. For anyone out there, as soon as you go in, you need a lawyer straight away. Is that right?

Even when you just go into like file a police report or something. Well, as soon as they're bringing out a light of. tech test. You should talk to some representation. What are the rules here? Should we just ask for lawyers? Probably. Straight away. Okay. Well, that's, isn't that, who do you think this is? That's why he's here. I thought that was court mandated. Oh, no. Do you want to, I'll give him a microphone to speak up. Hello, I'm Sean. I'm from the firm. I'm just quietly taking notes to continue, uh, incriminating yourselves over there. Thank you. Wait, wait, wait, you're here. I thought you were here with me.

No comment. God, these sneaky lawyers. Jesus is good. I'm Sean. Yes, no, we got that, Sean. Turn his mic off day. Fucking hell. I just slide that down.

Sorry, Sean, no offence. Leave it to the pros, mate. Is that it falls a crowd? Anyway, so. So, Aaron gets... I like this catchphrased. I'm a Sean. I'm a Sean.

I'm a Sean. I have the A. Sorry, he looks like he wants to say something else. Just sliding the mic right over again. You can be a shorned by me, Sean. Case ass shorned. That was... Can I call a quarter, Sean?

This sitcom is writing itself. The Dejan Boys and Sean. Sean are the Dejohn boys. So Dan Russo, a defense attorney, arrives at the station early the next morning. He sees Aaron pale and puffy-eyed. He tells police that Aaron has complied in giving the lie detector test. He's given DNA samples. If they don't plan to arrest him, then he's leaving that Aaron's going to be leaving with Dan right now.

So Dan gets him out of there, takes him to his office, gets Aaron to recount the story of what's happened again, tells the story a couple of times and Dan said in the documentary in my heart I believed him but there's no one in North America who's going to believe this story because it's bonkers it makes no sense it's wild

but if it is true and I want to believe how awful would that be that you're being locked up and they're not going out looking for it they're telling you that you did it and you're no that would be a real American nightmare

just not having them believe he's at the name of it and um so that you remember we can't remember a person's nay Anyway, yeah, go on. What, racial. It's the full fugitive style.

I didn't kill my wife. Yeah. But, and yeah, the longer it goes on, he's behaving to me like an innocent man. Yeah. But yeah. But also, like, I would sort of be thinking if I was the cops, like, okay, well, then let's look for evidence. And if we can't find anything that backs up what he's said, then that is more incriminating to him. Or we find evidence that does back up what he says and we follow.

that evidence. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'd be working as hard to prove him wrong. You can maybe split into two teams. One trying to prove him right. Yeah. Yeah.

Just have one team leaving the police building. Yeah. Yeah. To look for a missing lady. Yeah. Because she's, there is a missing lady either way. Yes. But yeah, it's a, it's very confusing.

The blood that they found made me think, oh shit. But I mean, there could be blood from when they abducted her. Yeah. Like, there's, it's not. clear where the blood could be from. Yes. This is not good police work, I don't think. Oh, that's an interesting, interesting observation.

I think this might be, I think they might be doing this poorly. Hmm. Well, let's find out. Okay. Because 31 hours since Denise went missing on the Tuesday afternoon, San Francisco Chronicle crime reporter Henry Lee receives an email with the subject line, Denise. Attached is an audio file.

and a woman's voice says, Hi, my name is Denise Huskins. I'm kidnapped. Otherwise, I'm fine. Oh, wow. That's good news. The message mentions a news event from that day, as proof of this was recorded very recently,

and personal details to confirm that it's really Denise. Like she says, like my first concert was Blink 182. Oh, my God. Me too, Denise. Really? There you go. Wow. Okay.

Does she actually say that? Yes. Did she actually say that? Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Yep. Me and Denise,

hey? Just so I can fake kidnapping you, what would you, Matt would say, Blink 102, what would you say? I don't know what my first concert was. I think it was, do you remember the gigs that would put out, they were Coke Live and Local?

It was supported by Coca-Cola. And it was like a bunch of bands, like The Living End performed at one. I think I might have seen the Veronica's at one of them. That's pretty fun. Nice. Mine's some 41. Okay, good to know.

Good to know. My 13th birthday. Thirteen, that's sweet. My sister took me. That's right. A legend. That's really cute. I think I was 14.

Late bloomer. That's so embarrassing for you. So the crime reporter, Henry, he forwards the email and the audio file to the Vallejo PD. The clip is played for Denise's parents and for Aaron, who all confirmed that the woman speaking is definitely Denise. So she's alive, or at least was today. That's awesome news. It's great news. Her family, who were released.

to have even more hope that Denise was alive and well, were then confused as to why Detective Mustard turned his questioning of them to Denise's character. How many boyfriends had she had? Oh, my God. How long has she been in those relationships? Was she a big drinker? Did she party?

That sort of thing. It became pretty clear to Aaron's attorney that the police line of questioning had taken a turn and moved from accusing Aaron of murder to suggesting Denise was behind the whole thing. So they've gone, okay, well, she's alive. so he didn't murder her. So she's behind it.

Anything but certainly no kidnappings happen in this town. Even though she just said, I'm kidnapped. Without a twist. He's a puzzle maker. Yeah. He's making these puzzles. Hey man, we got a round block here. We want to put it through that round circle.

He's going, I'm going to fricking shove it through that triangle. I'm going to shove it through that triangle right now. Shave it down. I'm going to jam it in. Get me the planer. Get me a plane. I don't want to fly. I want to take a bit off of this wooden block.

And they're so incompetent. He's all of a sudden he's flying somewhere. And he's like, oh, this is what I wanted. It's nice. It's not the other way. Yes. But, oh, it's not what I was trying to do. But when I get back after this short two to three week break.

Okay, so then in a very bizarre twist, a very strange turn of events. It's already so bizarre. I love it. It's amazing. On Wednesday morning, 25th of March, Denise Huskins reappears. What? She turns up...

She turns up on her dad's doorstep at around 9 a.m. In Huntington Beach, which is 400 miles or 640Ks from where she'd been taken. How far, sorry? 640Ks. Wow. It's quite a distance, but not on an island anymore. No. It's just a small island that's like a...

It's almost like a neighbourhood of Vallejo in California. Right, right. So this is Huntington Beach 400 miles away. What the fuck had happened in the last 48 hours? But that night, about 9pm, 12 hours after she reappears, Vallejo police hold a press conference. Now keep in mind, they haven't spoken to Denise yet. A Huntington Beach officer, like briefly interviewed her, but that was it.

The Vallejo officer says in the press conference that while Denise had initially agreed to cooperate, they hadn't heard from her since. And furthermore, Aaron Quinn's story had been so elaborated, and crazy that they'd had a pretty hard time believing him and had not been able to substantiate any of his claims about the events of March 23rd. At this stage, he said,

Aaron Quinn and Denise Huskins have plundered valuable resources from the community. What? So the press have an absolute field date. They begin reporting that the kidnapping was probably a hoax, orchestrated by Denise herself, or with the help of Aaron Quinn. And if true, both Aaron and Denise could face state and federal charges.

What would the point of? of that been? If they were both in on it, what would the point have been? Well, Dave interestingly just mentioned a certain film. Oh. Yeah. Give me back my wife. No, that's...

I'm mixing up a ransom where he says, give me back my son. Yeah. With the fugitive where he says, I didn't kill my wife. He loves to yell about his family, that guy. Yeah. And I mean, they were two different guys, but still. Yeah.

Is they not the same actor? Well, the other one was Mel Meninga. No, Mel Brooks. Mel Gibson. Mel. Yeah, because I could just imagine Harrison saying both of the things. Yes. So the film I would refer to.

Gone Girl. Gone Girl. Had come out the year before. Ah, okay. And for anybody who hasn't seen it, oh, sorry. Gone Girl is a film about a woman who discovers her husband's cheating. Should we say a bit of a spoiler here? Spoil you.

I mean, I think by saying anybody who hasn't seen it, spoiler alert. Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I just ruined something once on this show and I felt bad about it. Spoiler alert. I remember, because it was quite a well-love film, but I remember going to see it. and hating it.

It was pretty full on. Oh, okay. Yeah. I just thought it was bad. Oh, okay. I think I found it a bit intense. But I can't remember anything about it. Well, uh,

except the bit where he covered up his chin and that was like some sort of sign of love or something. Do you remember that? Oh. No. So I want to do this, it means I'm telling the truth or something like that. Oh. Anyway.

I really don't remember anything about it. I don't remember that. Ben Affleck was in it. Ben Affleck. Rosamann Pike got an Oscar nom for it. She was good. She was great. So it was good.

What did? Maybe I just got out of the bed of the room. Now we're out of the statute of limitations of the spoiler alert. If people have skipped. Oh, yeah. So, spoiler alert. So, a woman discovers her husband is cheating, plans and executes an elaborate faking of her own death and frames her murder on her husband.

Right. So the media is calling it the gone girl case. They are immediately just going, this is just like that movie. Right, because the, and the spoiler, this is a serious spoiler, she comes back. Yeah. And I'm alive and does a press conference and things. This sounds like they're jumping to conclusions here. Yep.

That they have no evidence for. That seems weird that the, why would they be doing that? Can't we trust the fourth estate? You know what I mean? Are they there to hold up a mirror? Is that what they do? I zoned out for a bit, to be honest. Well, you're a journalist.

You tell us, what's the job of the journalists? The US media is different. Oh, okay. You didn't study US media? No, I think I was specifically sort of training to work in the Australian media. Yeah. Where... Well, nothing ever bad happens to the Australian media.

Nothing. Yeah, no, we're great. Always are very ethical. But it does also seem like subjudice is a bit more... They're taken a bit more seriously here. And over there, they just speculate wildly for a bit of fun. What about above judacy? Above judice, that's fine.

Yeah, okay. That's fine. Before the court. So you can't be reporting facts that haven't been... Essentially, if you're reporting facts, well, I'm saying facts in... quotation marks there or like theories about something before it's even gone to court. Does that only count if it's a criminal case, which at the moment doesn't sound like there is one. No one is before. No one's been arrested anything because it's like no one knows what

happened. But, but Denise and Aaron could be charged with a few different crimes. And they're alleging crimes, the media basically. They're alleging crimes, which means then when they do, if they do eventually go to court, the members of the public that would make up the jury have already been fed all of these theories and all of these. True. Don't they sometimes they just withdraw those articles and say, well, now it's a criminal case. Sorry, we can't speculate it. Yeah. Yeah, they go back and they go, did you have the edition of the Sunday Times? We got to write that out. Oh, I'm not saying Australia doesn't do it. I'm just saying it's not really, you're not supposed to. You're supposed to have an impartial jury. Anyway, so at this stage, we're going, okay, Denise is behind it. Is Andrea behind it? Is Aaron behind it? What has happened? Yeah.

Has Matt Mustard, the puzzle maker? Did he make this? It sounds like a puzzle that's been made to me. Yeah. Did he make a case to try and solve it? Maybe. I'm thinking it's mustard. Where are you guys sitting at the moment?

How are you feeling? Mustard in the library with the candlestick. You also think aliens. So Matt's got those two theories. Yeah, I think mustard's an alien. Dave, what are you feeling with all this? I'm not sure. I feel like I don't want to...

Dave's worried he's going to get us to correct and ruin the whole episode. No, no. I'm thinking it's more likely to maybe be Denise because like Gone Girl, there's an objective. In this case, maybe it's money. Then it obviously hasn't worked out because he has called the cops and panicked and then they've sort of seen through it. So then because of that, she's had to come back and say,

oh, I'm actually, I'm fine. Does that make sense? Because I can't see the reason that he would make up this case because the only thing that he had to gain was money. And the only thing was money you already had. And also, she's not dead. So what did he have to gain? If she was dead, you would go, okay, I can see where he's made this up.

Yes, an elaborate cover of... That's right. He's protected. himself. Of her death, yeah. Yeah. So look, it's, it's, it's kind of all over the place. So let's rewind a little and hear the story from Denise's perspective. Oh, I love it. So the night of the home invasion, uh, they tell Denise, we're going to take you, but they say, we're going to bring you back in 48 hours. They're very upfront. Um, she's placed in the trunk of Aaron's car. And it's kind of a weird, it's a very weird experience because like, these, these guys that

kidnapping her, obviously doing something horrendous and really, really scary, but then at times are, like, being quite considerate. Like, they've grabbed a comforter off a bed, or they had a comforter in the car to, like, make the trunk more comfortable for her? What's a comforter? Like the doiner. Oh, right.

Is it hard for her to understand them because they've got snorkels in their mouth? It is hard. We're going to be like a foot or no. Oh, right. I've had the trunk very cold for you. Yeah, so she's placed in the trunk of her own's car. Right, but they're being nice. That's good.

She's driven for a little while. Well, no, it's not. She's driven for a little while before the car stops, and she's taken out of Aaron's car and put into the trunk of a different car. So Aaron's car's kind of dumped. Now, remember, they were both sort of given this sleeping potion stuff. They've both been sedated. She's trying to stay awake, but she's groggy and terrified.

She's trying to pay attention to, like, how long the drive is and where they're turning, just to, like, have some sort of idea. But obviously, it's so hard. without being up a sea and you don't know. She hears the engine of the new car and like it had this deep rev and it reminded her of a Mustang. She's like, what are we in? They drove for hours.

I think she fell asleep for a part of it. Eventually she's taken out of the trunk and she can sort of tell it's the early hours of the morning. Like she can, she's still got the goggles on, but she can sort of kind of feel or sense to see a bit of the light. So she's like, okay, it's daylight. She can smell pine trees.

She could feel the sun. And then she's taken inside a house. And I'm not going to go into heaps of detail about Denise's experience only because it is pretty harrowing and scary and recent. And I'm aware that this is a comedy podcast. Right. So they do not treat it. I talk about it a little bit, but I'm not.

I'm just going to sort of, I'm brushing over it a little bit. And I didn't want people to be like, you brushed over it. I've done that on purpose because of. the tone of this podcast. So we're also very quickly assuming she doesn't have any to do with this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's important to the story.

If you want to hear her detailed account, which, I mean, she's shared it on podcasts and on this documentary very fucking courageously and very cool. So you can watch American Nightmare if you want to. Okay, I feel bad saying that it could have been there. No, no, but that's the point. That's the whole point. And that's exactly what I wanted you to feel at that point in the report because... Manipulated me.

Thank you so much. Yeah, I'm very sneaky. That's good story telling Dave Don't hold it against Jess and she tells a good story I would never hold a puzzle against a puzzle maker Well done I'm a puzzle maker I have a journalism degree I puzzle

No yeah because like it is confusing And the documentary is also sort of set up that way too Where at first you kind of like Fucking Aaron you absolute dog You think Denise is dead And then at the end of the first episode you see Denise And you're like okay she's not dead But what's happening

So it is a bit all over the place But anyway, she is taken to this house. Taken. Another film. Another good title for this film. Give me back my daughter. Do you say that? I have a very specific set of skills. That was contrary.

I don't know why. I mean, it's closer. Yeah. Closer than what I did, which was today was Harrison Ford twice. Not Malmaninga. I can't believe. Mal Brooks, Mel Brooks even. Did he even get his first name right?

Mel Gibson. Gibson. Did I say that? No. Brooks. Oh my God. First he said Melmaninga. Who's Melmaninga?

Rugby league legend. Yeah, Queenslander. Briefly had a political career. He's, yeah, very funny, famous footage of him in the same press conference he announced he was running for Parliament. He also quit. And it's like, honestly, it's like a two minutes and he goes, oh no. I'm sorry, I can't do this. And he pulls his mic up and he, I can't do this.

And he gets up and walks out. Incredible video. That's good stuff. But like, I think you're like, He's like an immortal or evince or whatever they have there. Yeah. He's like very, but the thing that I know about him is that he did that press conference. That's good stuff.

And you don't hear that on many true crime podcasts. And that's what sets us apart. Yeah. It's that during a really tense moment, we'll just go off on a tangent. And that's what we're good at. So anyway, she's in the house. And while they're in the house, it seems like it's just Denise and one of the kidnappers. And he locks her in a bedroom.

And at one stage tells her, this wasn't meant for you. This was meant for Andrea. He tells her that again. And she's also kind of like, the fuck? Like, what does that? Yeah, why are you telling me this? He tells her that he's part of a black market company that kidnap people for money. Throughout, you know, their interactions, he reveals that these guys are ex-military.

He tells her that Aaron's been given instructions on what to do, and the plan is to release her in 48 hours. And she wants to believe that's true, but how can you trust that your life is safe at the hands of people who just kidnapped you? Yes. So she's like, okay, well, that all sounds good, but like at no stages that actually make her roll. You know, you're like, all right, cool. Well, I'll just put up with, you know, I'll just, I'll just snooze for 48 hours and then I'll go home. Great. And like I was saying.

Yeah. Can I do a TV in here? You got Netflix? What sort of, what's the lunch? Little hungry. Just been in a trunk for a while. Like I was saying before, their interactions were sort of strangely polite. He was kind of like, yeah, kind of nice to her.

And then it almost seemed like, I don't know, apologetic. But in a way, that's more unnerving than if he was aggressive or, or, or, threatening. Like it's kind of, you're sort of like, oh, what are you, are you manipulating me? What's going on here? More than 24 hours after a kidnapping, the man at the house tells her that his company has lost contact with Aaron. So we know that Aaron was at the police station. His associates are on their way and as part of their protocol, she'll have to have more sedatives before they arrive. And he says, don't engage with them, like, just pretend to be asleep. They're not as nice as me, which again, it's just a weird thing to say.

So a car approaches, she hears multiple voices in the house. This is when they decide that they need to record a proof of life, that audio that we heard, that proves that she's alive and it's current. And the others leave. It's just her and one of the kidnappers in the house again. And it's a really psychologically confusing and challenging time and a bit of a content warning here. And again, I'm brushing right over it. He's being really nice to her and acting like he's trying to help.

and then on the flip side, she is sexually assaulted twice in the time that she's held in the house. Jesus. And then later he shows her a video of her father speaking to the press saying like, if she sees this, just know the family's here, be strong, as if he's trying to like encourage her or make her feel better or give her confidence. And she's just like, what the fuck is this? She talks about it feeling like a long game to just break her. And she's so confused and she's so angry. So it's awful what happens.

But then in the early hours of Wednesday morning, he tells her it's time to go. There's this other team as well. Yeah, where the fuck are they? And so this and all these like, I mean, is it just this one guy pretending there's way more? Oh yeah. Or because 20 grand or 15 grand or whatever it was, it's making less and less sense.

Yeah. As like how can that be the motivation for this? Yeah. It's all, none of it adds up. It doesn't make, yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Is he still wearing a wetsuit? Unless they're being paid by somebody else to do this. Yeah, third party.

And the ransom is just like, I don't know. know, something. A cover. Yeah. Yeah. Something. But what's in it for them? Yeah.

Like, yeah, I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. But did she ever see the other team? No. She heard them. Okay. But he's the only one that I think comes into the room. So, yeah, he's like, it's time to go.

He says, I can't drop you off in the Bay Area. There's too many cops looking for you because, you know, Aaron went to the cops. Said not to. So he's like, I'm going to take you directed to your family. And no doubt, she's like, is he? Or is he going to take me somewhere and kill me? Yeah. Like, what the fuck is happening?

Again, she's sedated, she's put in the car, goggles on, she falls asleep, she's shaken awake hours later, and all she can make out through the tiny gaps in the goggles, a glimpses of the car's white exterior, but she can't see the guy, she doesn't know anything. Has she ever seen him or she always had the goggles on? Always had the goggles on. I mean, could all the motivation just be that he's like a rapist and he's, you know, this is all, what? Yeah, what is it?

Exactly. It's so confused. using and really strange and an awful, awful thing. And for a lot of it, it just continues to get shit. But then it gets better. So just, you know, remember? Just hang in there. It's okay.

And we only know this has happened because Denise is alive. So, you know, that's nice, isn't it? Yes. I put this up. For the vote, I'd just watch the documentary when it first came out. And I was like, yeah, that's a really interesting story. Yeah, great. It's really gripping.

And then as I started writing it, I was like, we are a comedy podcast. It is a... Hey, we've covered some grim ones. Yeah, that's true. Remember the fight at the urinal before that saved it? Everything's flag. It is. I mean, it's...

I mean, as grim as it is, it's super fascinating. It's really fascinating. I'd have no idea what's happened. Yeah, yeah. And you do feel like that up to this point for sure. So he says, look, Aaron's gone to the police. So at some point you're going to have to talk to them. There's two things you can't tell them.

You can't tell them that any of us were in the military, and you can't tell them about the sexual assault. And he says, we're going to be watching you. So if we find out you say anything, we'll come after you and your family. Oh. So then she's sort of like, fuck, all right. So he gets her out of the car, tells her to keep the goggles on after the car drives off, take him off once you count it's 10. You know, like just make sure he's out of sight.

So she hears the car drive away, counts the 10, takes the goggles off, and she's free. And she realizes she's been dropped off just around the corner from her father's house. and her father's not there because he'd gone to Vallejo as soon as he was told they, that she'd been kidnapped. So a neighbor took her into the home and called the police. A local detective turns up, he interviews her a little bit before saying that he's got a Vallejo detective on the phone and essentially they're kind of like offering her immunity.

And she's like, immunity from what? Because she has no idea what's been happening in the time that she's been gone. The media frenzy, the accusations, the press coverage referring to her ordeal as a kidnapping hoax. And she doesn't want to lie to police, but she's scared of saying the wrong thing or saying too much and putting her family's lives in danger. So eventually she also gets an attorney who advises her

not to make any further statements to the police because if she says any small thing that contradicts what she's already told them, they'll use that against her. Yeah, because they've already made their mind up sort of. Yeah, yeah. Is it possible to request a new police force? Yeah.

Can we get a new force? For the world. You know, sometimes they request a new jury, a new judge. Yeah. Maybe we just get a new force. I'm not viving with these police. Could I use a different police? They're doing an awful job.

Yeah. Can we get a new set? Can we get some new police in here? And it's funny, Matt, because... This crime happened over a long range of area. Can we get the force from one of the other ones? Yeah, you are really hitting something. Yeah.

So, anyway, she's following that advice. She's trying not to say any of the wrong thing. She's trying to get back to the... as quickly as possible to speak to the police and to her lawyer who's there. And the media have a field day reporting that she's now refusing to speak to police, which she isn't, and that her behaviour towards the media is very suspicious. And this is the behaviour, this is the behaviour. She's wearing hoodie and she's avoiding the many, many press parked outside her dad's house.

That screams guilty to me. That's suss as. She's a real piece of work. Actually, he was starting to believe her. Yeah. But she's wearing a. hoodie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like trying to stay away from press after just going through a traumatic ordeal. I wear hoodies when it's cold and I am guilty. Yeah, we know, mate. Hence,

your lawyer's here. You're not allowed to be in the room with us without him. Can you turn up Sean's mug? I just want to check up and say anything wrong. Uh, uh, hello, it's Sean. Yes. Yeah, so just remembering what I sound like. Uh, uh, uh, my client is doing a great job on this podcast. Okay. Thank you so much, Sean. In your legal. opinion. I'm also a big fan. Okay. Of Matt. Can we get a new lawyer? Can we... He's really grown

on me. Yeah, because he's a fan of yours. Anyway, so the Thursday morning. Thanks, Sean. Sorry. Yes. I'm doing this job pro bono. And also for free. I love you too. A bit of a... I thought it was a comedy. I thought I'd try and do a joke there. That's not bad. Thank you so much, Sean. You can use that. Thanks for shipping. I can have that?

Absolutely. I will edit you out of saying that. Oh, my God. I'm doing it. I'm making puzzles and you form the sentences. Turn Sean's mic down, Dave, please. Yeah, fuck off, Sean. No offence, fuck off. On Thursday morning, so 24 hours after she was released, Denise goes to Vallejo Police Station to give a statement.

And again, she's walking in there like, I'm going to tell them every single thing I know so that they can track these people down, you know, because I paid attention to stuff. I remember details. I'm going to tell them. So she goes in, she gives her statement. Detective Matt Mustard conducts the interview.

An FBI agent is there as well. His name's David Sesma and her lawyer and stuff are there too. And once again, Detective Mustard is interested in details of Aaron and Denise's relationship. What a... And what a perv. This guy is no good. Yeah. Gets her to detail the events of the home invasion.

What happened after she was taken from Aaron's home? She gives as much detail as she can about the lengths of the drives. You know, everything she remembers that she tells them, They're former military. She listed a couple of different things that this kidnapper had sort of revealed through conversation. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the, what, wait, whatever, whatever, whatever. What bar size are you? What name was he yelling out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are you in your cycle? Just so, so weird. She's hoping it can give them an idea of sort of like a radius of area to look, you know? Yes, good on her. Her lawyer in the doco says, like, he thought police were believing her, they're listening to her, but then he noticed, again, their questions moved to accusations. Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you fight back? All that sort of stuff? Like, didn't you?

Did you make any noises you left the house? Why not? Because they told me I couldn't or they'd kill me. Yeah, and I was heavily sedated and terrified. I was blindfolded. Yeah. I didn't know what was going on. Denise's lawyer and Aaron's lawyer, they agree that the couple should not speak to each other until the interrogations are over to avoid police being able to claim they conspired together to make sure their stories match. But here's the thing. They hadn't spoken to each other, and their stories do match. The details match. Wow.

Anyone would be like, that's a good sign. Yeah, they both knew about the wetsuits. Anyway, so the next day. That makes it feel like specific sort of military as well, you know? Yeah. Maybe they're, you know, they're... Divers. Yeah.

Navy SEALs. Yeah, yeah, yep. Maybe they were just seals. Just seals. Serving in the Navy. They were. Roof seal. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Roofed roof. That's how they got in. Your roof is getting lost between the like it and the moss, and your mortar isn't where it ought to be. Give it back that old appeal with a visit from roof seal. 1-800-7-7-0-0. Roof, roof!

I remember jingles, but never the phone number, which is probably the main thing they want me to remember. Oh, and the very thing. Not the whole thing. 1-800-70-7-0. It's definitely 7-0-7-0. I don't know with the middle part. Middle Bart, the middle part.

Are you looking at up, Dave? 1-3006-70-7-0. 7-0. 336-70-7-0. If many listeners out there do have the problem where their roof is getting lost between the locket and the moss. And their motor isn't wear it on. I'd probably get a free roof inspection.

Should we invoice them for this? Yeah, I think you can do that. I think you can do that. Just gave you an ad. We did an ad on spec. Here's what it'll cost. Oh, we'll take it out. Has it been published?

Yes. Yes. We'll clip it out. We'll clip it out. We're petty bitches. We'll bleep, bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep.

Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep. Um, okay. So you were saying that normally you would see that as a great sign. Yeah, you'd be like, this is good. Two completely separate people. Tell them the same story. Matt Murdoch is a fuckhead.

Mustard. Mustard. Who's Matt Murdoch? Another rugby player. Pat Murdo, is that Daredevil? Yeah, probably. Oh, Ben Affleck again. Just to be clear as well, Matt Mustard is in your opinion.

Oh, allegedly. Well, blip that out. No, I saved it. But based on what we've heard here today, based on what you've seen in the documentary. A review of this documentary. Exactly. He does sound like he is like a bit of an asshole and super incompetent. And he just cannot let his biases go.

In my opinion. In my opinion. And allegedly, the fact that he calls himself a puzzle maker, he's such a stupid fucking. Yeah. I mean, it felt like that when you said it start, but I'm like, you know, this guy could maybe solves the puzzle. I've got to say,

because if you're watching a movie and then someone comes in and says, I consider myself a puzzle maker. Yeah, I'd be like this guy's serial killer. You're thinking, doce, doosh, douche. Yeah, yeah. Like that character's been written as a douchebag. Yeah. Piece of shit.

And this is just a real life person saying that. Yeah. He's like a Poirot type. Yeah, but a joke. Yeah. Clearly not good. Yeah. Puzzle solver is what, surely what he meant.

Surely. Yeah, it's embarrassing. You're picturing him like... I'm sure he left the interrogation room and went, fucking puzzle solvers. Oh my God, it's on tape too. It's so embarrassing. I hope that never comes down to bite me in the arse.

Yeah, hopefully this is never on a documentary or a comedy podcast. Hopefully I'm not wrong about this case. So the next day... Multiple times. Yeah. The next day, Denise is once again, taken into interrogation room. More questions. and told that there are a lot of inconsistencies in her story.

And she's reminded that it's a federal offence to light of an officer. So if she wants to change any details of the story, now is the time. And in the American Nightmare documentary, her lawyer recalls taking the FBI officer outside. He's taking aside and says, killing him. Killing him. Wow. He admits that on a doco. That feels, you know, normally I'm not for killing, but yeah, I'm getting pretty frustrated. Can I only imagine what the lawyer was going through.

And in the end, isn't that who we really care about in this story? Right, Sean. Don't turn his mic on. I nearly did. Sorry. So, but he says to him, there haven't been any discrepancies in her story. How can you possibly say she's lying? And the FBI agent says, haven't you seen Gone Girl?

Oh, my God. An FBI agent whose job it is to solve crimes and investigate is going, this is like the movie. That is. Isn't that embarrassing? So embarrassing. And the lawyer's like, that's confirmation bias. Yeah. Like...

I don't say that to a lawyer, you fucking idiot. Yeah, crazy. Because that's like the whole, the whole time they've been concocting a story and then trying to jam what's happened into it. Yeah. Rather than just hearing what's happening and figuring out what's going on. Yeah. It feels like they're doing it ass backwards. And the only part that matches with gone and go, can I say, is that a lady disappears and everyone thinks she's dead and then comes back.

Yeah. In the movie, she doesn't plot with her partner to create this. this elaborate story, there's no big kidnapping. Yeah. That's the funny thing. Nothing else is similar. They've been malleable in their accusations to the point of they're guilty. Oh, there's more information.

Well, they work together then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they're never like, there's more information. Oh, she's alive? Oh, well, then she's guilty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, and like an alien has crashed land on the planet and starts hunting people.

Haven't you seen predator? Yeah. Haven't you seen it? Have you seen it? Have you seen it? It's just like that. It happened in a movie. I watched last weekend.

Yeah. It's just wild. If he happened to watch a movie where they were innocent, they would have been home free by now and they would have got the bad guys. But unfortunately, no. Watch one where a fraud was committed. So it's wild that a person is saying that truly. And they would say that out loud to a lawyer.

And at this stage, Denise is facing prosecution for lying to a federal law enforcement officer. She's looking at being sentenced between a year and 18 months in federal prison. and long term losing her reputation. How is she going to get work in hospitals? Like, how is she going to function in society? How would you trust anyone at all? That's it.

Like, just from what she went through, that makes it very hard to trust. But on top of that, like... Then being accused. And meanwhile, the kidnappers are still out there. And police aren't bothering to look into them. So Aaron and Denise feel exposed. They know where they live. Like, no one's protecting them.

They've already threatened them that. They'll take their families. So they're terrified. And from the press perspective, the story kind of is over. They move on. And then, so this is all by like Wednesday. But then on Saturday, it's the 28th of March, the crime reporter, Henry Lee, once again, receives an email. It's from the kidnappers, detailing the events of the home invasion and kidnapping.

Photos have been included. One image is of a gun with a flashlight duct taped to it. And once again... What's their motivation for this? Hey, just letting you know what we did wasn't ridiculous. It was a real thing. We're not going to have credit. Everyone's laughing about the wetsuits.

I'll tell you. They made sense in case we had to jump in the water. Yes, it was hard to walk around and it likes to sort of rubbing together a little bit. And I've had to go to the... Make that wood... You had to go to the chemist to get a little cream. But apart from that, it was a very smart idea. Yeah.

Give us some credit. Come on. Can I taste out the kit? Sure. My sister-in-law has these corduroy shorts and she calls them her woof-woof pants. Because when she walks, they go, I think that's really cute. And your sister-in-law, how old is she?

40. My woof-wuf pants. Isn't my wolf-wuf pants? She's the best. And your sister-in-law is she a toddler? No. She's a 40-year-old woman who I adore. That's so fun.

Anyway, so there's photos. Henry Lee, he forwards this to the police. No response. One of Aaron's lawyers also receives the email, and in the email it mentions the use of a Mustang convertible. Oh my God. She knew the engine.

Denise said the car sounded like a Mustang. Oh my God. Your kidnap is driving around in a convertible? How? Yeah. I like how you've been saying trunk, by the way. Yeah, for the Americans. But like, I imagine a Mustang trunk.

Trunk's better than boot. I agree. Boot. Boot sucks. But anyway. Boot's already got another meaning. Trunk only means one thing. That's right.

Yeah, so you're saying it's probably a bit squishy. It would be very squishy. Probably. But there's also. of the location where Denise was held, and it matches the descriptions she gave. Wow. So she was... What's five? So good.

I just imagine like five dudes driving around in a convertible in wetson. Yeah. He would just look so weird. There's one guy. It's feeling like it's one guy. Nothing to sit here. I think there was one guy that, I think one guy took her and the rest maybe went a different way or something. I don't know.

So it's just... They have an Uber's. Still, Vallejo, please do nothing. What? It's going on. Oh my God. They just cannot get past it. Here's the motivation.

More emails come through, giving kind of clues us to the identity of the kidnappers. Again, sort of being like college educated. I think they maybe said ex-military in the email. Oh, my God. Are they making a puzzle? They defend Denise against claims that the whole thing's a hoax. They're defending her and saying, it's not a hoax. She's not a liar.

They say that Vallejo Police Department has 24 hours to issue an apology to Denise Huskins. And if they don't apologize, then these kidnappers will strike again. That makes it sound like, that does make it sort of sound incriminating to her. It's not helping Denise. No. No. But still. And also give her some money.

Still, the police do nothing. Right. A couple of months go by and in June, police are called to a break in at a home in Dublin, California. It's about 40 miles from Vallejo. A family were asleep and a man entered the home and attempted to abduct the 22-year-old daughter. her father was able to fight the man off and the mother called 911 and police arrived and were told the man

had escaped and run off and by the property's fence they found zip tires and duct tape the daughter informed police that a cell phone had been left behind and police took it in for evidence Dublin police tracked down I think there was like the account holder and they call and a woman answers the phone

and they ask if she knows whose number this is and she says oh yeah that's my son Her son's name is Matthew Mulla. So close to Matt Muster. Police look him up. He's a former Marine. Is that what I said? No Navy SEAL.

Close. He's a Harvard Law graduate. And it's previously, previously, oh my God, been a suspect in a couple of different sexual battery cases. A suspect. The cops don't want to set off alarm bells for Matthew's mother in case she alerts him that they're looking for him. So they say, oh, we'd just like to get his phone back to him.

You know where he is? Finally, the smartest thing these cops have done. This is a new set of cops. New set of cops. Dublin. Dublin, PD. To be sure. They go, do you know where he is?

And she goes, yeah, yeah, he's staying in my cabin in South Lake Tahoe. So they get in the fucking car and they go straight away. Cavan's around to buy pine trees. Yeah. And a Mustang. Detective Misty Caruso joins the officers to go and make the arrest. It was her first case as a detective. Oh, wow.

I'd tell you got to get in a fresh back. of college. Yeah, yeah. She's a fresh detective. As far as ambushes go, it couldn't have gone better. They arrive, kick in the front door. They quickly locate Matthew Muller, Mulla inside the cabin. And he is handcuffed.

And Mr. Caruso in the documentary, she describes him as being really calm and composed the entire time the police are detaining him. And a search of the house yields several piece of evidence that link him to the attack in Dublin the night before. They find zip ties, duct tape, just like what was left at the crime scene. They find toy guns that have been painted black, one of which has a laser stuck to the side.

Oh my gosh. And it's all lining up to the home invasion the night before. They're like, okay, great. But Detective Caruso also notices the cabin's windows are covered. And a couple of the police from Dublin PD talk about just this feeling that something wasn't right in that cabin, something sinister. In the bathroom, they found NyQuil, syringes, and out the back they see a white, convertible Mustang. They have a look around the car. They check the GPS. It includes several addresses spanning huge distances, you know, from Las Vegas to Huntington Beach, maybe. In the trunk of

the Mustang, they found a utility belt and inside were a pair of swimming goggles that had duct tape all over them to block them out. And blonde hair stuck to it. Oh, Detective Misty, she is a freaking legend. She throws herself into the case. She finds cases of attempted assaults that happened a few years early in 2009, which kind of match in a few different ways. But if it's so, if it's the same person, she's building a pretty convincing story. But these 2009 victims who she speaks to, they were brunettes and she's becoming really obsessed with figuring out who the blonde hair belongs to because she knows there's another victim out there. So she keeps looking into it. Meanwhile, Denise and Aaron are staying with family, not feeling safe in their own homes. And Denise is receiving

death threats on social media as, and they're still not sure if they're going to be prosecuted for committing a hoax. Their attorneys are trying to get police and FBI agents to look for the kidnappers, but they seem more interested in looking into Denise and Aaron instead. That must be so frustrating. So infuriating. It's around this time too that Denise and Aaron discovered that the lead FBI agent, David Sesma, formerly dated Aaron's ex, Andrea, who was the target of the kidnapping. And they go, oh, I reckon that's a bit inappropriate. So their lawyer flags it as a conflict of interest and inappropriate to the office of Inspector General, and they respond that the authorities have found it to be unproblematic. Oh, that's good. They're like, no, it's fine. I think the system there in

that, what was it, Valleo? Valleo, I think, I think, I hope they haven't changed anything. Yeah, I think it's a good system. Yeah, the system of, no, they said it's okay. It's fine. I think it's all fine. It's cool. It's, hey, chill. Chill. We've got a puzzle maker on the force. Okay. And he's making a puzzle. You need to just, chill. Let them work. Let the puzzle. Master world. So, desperate for clues, Detective Misty Caruso decides to look into the Mustang, which records show had been stolen seven months prior from an address in Vallejo. So she contacts the registered owner of the Mustang.

She tells him that Dublin PD have his car and that it was involved in a home invasion case. And the owner of the car says, hmm, have you heard about the Mare Island creeper? And she hadn't, she looks into it. So, Mayor Island, it's a little island connected by a bridge to Vallejo. and in 2014 there were a series of peeping Tom cases recorded by students who lived in the area. Night after night the residents were being harassed

and police weren't doing anything about it, which seems crazy for Vallejo. They're so good there. So these students took it into their own hands. A couple of them discreetly followed the man home one night discovering that he too lived on Mayor Island. And they also, I don't know how, but they figured out that he was a former Marine and a lawyer.

I don't know how they figured that out, but they did. So Misty Cruz who's like, holy shit, Matthew Mueller is the is the Mayor Island Creeper. And the Mustang owner said that the Mayor Island Creeper case has stopped around March of 2015. Around the same time as that gone girl case. And Detective Cruz is like, the what case? And this is so wild that police departments don't really share info because to find out what this guy was talking about, she Googled it. Found all these articles and stuff and was like, oh, fuck.

There's got to be a better system. No, they said it's okay. It's fine. And she's watching, she's like reading articles. She sees that so much of the puzzle she's been working on is falling into place. She's also a maker. Denise was taken from a house on the street where the creeper had been reported. I think she's a solver.

As it turns out, that's probably the better thing to be. Yeah. The Mustang GPS had Huntington Beach on it where Denise was dropped off. And then she saw a photo of Denise, 30 years old, white, blue eyes, blonde hair. She's like, this is it. I've done. So she calls Valleo PD, nothing. They don't answer.

They don't even have someone on the phone there. They're hopeless. She keeps leaving messages, they don't return her call. And she would have surely an internal number, not just any number. It's like it's cop to cop and they don't answer. Eventually she gets onto someone and they say, oh, look, the FBI has taken over that case. You'll have to speak to them. She's like, okay, give me the phone number.

So she calls the FBI. She speaks to David Sesma. She tells him they have a suspect in custody that she believes is linked to the kidnapping of Denise Tuskans. The FBI are a little kind of lazy about it, but they're like, yeah, okay, whatever. So they go and they go and meet with Dublin PD and at Dublin PD show them all the evidence collected at the cabin. They show like the fake gun found at the cabin, which matches the photo the kidnapper had sent to the crime reporter. And then there was the photo of the goggles and that left the FBI agents visibly shocked because they were like, oh shit. It's real.

This actually happened. And they freaking had their man. So Denise and Aaron were clear to the allegations of performing a hoax. And in March of 2017, Matthew Mueller pled guilty and was sentenced to a total of 40 years in prison. He never revealed why Andrea was the intended target of the crime. FBI agents informed Denise and Aaron that at the conclusion of their investigation, they believed Mueller had acted alone and would not be pursuing any other suspects. Which obviously angered Aaron and Denise, who remembered quite clearly that had been multiple men in their home.

the night of the kidnapping. Yes. But according to one news source, it was like in the court reporting about these court proceedings. It was like the pre-recorded message Mueller played gave them the impression there were multiple people there. Oh, okay. So I don't really. Like in the background, he's just like, oh, like having fake conversations. Yeah, Bluetooth speakers on or something.

I don't know. The truth is not entirely clear. But Aaron and Denise certainly feel that there were other people involved. but only Matthew Mueller has been charged. And he did all that stuff to the press just because he wanted to gloat about what he'd done. And was that kind of... Yeah, hard to say why he defended Denise and Aaron, or Denise specifically. Don't know.

It was obviously not right. Yes, that's right, yeah. But, oh my gosh. So it's all just an elaborate thing because he's a sex offender. he's a rapist. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And he had been, because he was a Harvard Law graduate, he'd worked as a lawyer, but had been

disbarred a few years earlier for like lying to a client or something, like something strange. Yeah, so parts of it are still kind of murky. But with the guilty party behind bars, that doesn't just magically make Denise and Aaron's lives go back to normal, obviously. their lawyers were keen to see the records of the Vallejo PD's investigation, and very quickly it became clear that police had taken very little action at all, instead focusing their energy on convicting Aaron and Denise, which we already know. A couple of these are infuriating.

So remember when Aaron took the polygraph test and the FBI agent said it was clear that Aaron had failed? Actually, he hadn't. The report read that the test had been completed with unknown results, because like Matt said, these tests are mostly. bullshit. But they just said to him, you fail. Tell us the truth.

Again, just trying to get it in his head, get him to crack. Get him to be like, okay, yeah, you're right. I killed her. But he didn't. That's why you get a lawyer. Yeah. That's why I did. That's why I've done what I've done.

The other one, this is the one that infuriated me the most. While being interviewed by Vallejo police, Aaron told the cops that the kidnappers were going to contact him on his cell phone, which you'd think might be a good chance to trace a call. but the police put Aaron's phone on aeroplane mode and when they turned the phone back on the next evening that's when they saw that actually two phone calls had been made to Aaron's phone

had the police just let the phone calls come in and trace the calls they would have been able to narrow down the location of the kidnapper within 200 metres they could have actually found it and they're in a cabin so there's no other places around so he would have known they're in there could have found her quite easily isn't I mean how disheartening that

this goes on. Like, you think of all the, all the cases that never had a misty stumble upon it. Totally. And they're just still a couple of people who've been falsely accused of making up a crime or whatever else.

But geez, that's a grim thought. How would you trust that you would never trust the police again? You would never trust, believe that you're safe. Like, yeah, it's horrendous.

I'd be moving to Dublin in Ireland. Yeah. Big time. or anywhere named Dublin, and I'd ask Misty to be my neighbour. Yeah. That would be nice, actually. In 2016, Aaron and Denise sued the city of Vallejo for defamation. None of the officers involved in the case were disciplined,

and in fact, Detective Mustard was awarded Officer of the Year in 2015, that very year. What? Officer of the year. Wow. Denise and Aaron had an out-of-court settlement for $2.5 million, And in an incredibly frustrating case and story, there's at least a happy ending. Aaron and Denise met with Detective Misty Caruso at the end of 2017, and Denise told her that all she wanted during this entire ordeal was for there to be someone in law enforcement

to call a hero and that Misty was Denise's hero. It was really nice. Misty, like Misty says in the documentary that she got into law enforcement because a friend of hers was sexually assaulted, and she wanted to make sure. that she was stopping it from happening and catching people who did it and putting in behind bars. And she fucking did that, which is very cool. Wow. And I think as frustrating and awful as it is that their case was so terribly handled by police officers doing shit work,

it was the amazing and thorough work of another police officer that eventually saw the case be solved. So Misty really, and like the Dublin PD in general, it's not just Misty, but she was sort of the detective on it. And despite going through something so horrific, horrific so early in a relationship. I don't think they've been together very long. They stayed together. They got married. They moved away from the area. They have two little kids now. In 2021, they published a book about their ordeal. It's called Victim F, from crime victims to suspects to survivors. And yeah, in January of this year, the documentary American nightmare came out as well. And I think that's probably the reason Christina suggested the topic. She just suggested

it in January. I think the other person who'd suggested, Matt, had listened to a podcast about it, Matt Mustard. Why would he have wanted, I mean, I'd be embarrassed about it, but I guess he, I wouldn't be telling people to fucking talk about him. No, sorry, I forgot, this was award-winning work from him. Yeah. He won an award. He got a little medal for this.

What the crap? No, no, it's wild. And yeah, there's not heaps of press coverage about it or writing about it. So a lot of this report is based on that documentary. But basically, it's so harrowing and unimaginable. I'm choosing to take solace in the fact that Aaron and Denise have been able to move forward with their lives despite this awful experience. Yes, wow. That is a happy ending to them.

I mean, obviously there's no way there wouldn't be a lot of trauma, a lot of therapy required. Like I can't imagine their life is super easy, but they've been able to move forward and that made me feel a lot better. No disciplinary action for any of the cops is. the opposite. If you want to finish on a happy note, I want to finish on a super grim note. They're all probably getting promotions right now. They probably have.

Who cares? I know. It's wild. It's such a wild story. The documentary is great. I highly recommend it. It's very gripping. And yeah, fucking really brave and cool of Denise and Aaron

to share their story the way they do. and I hope they're okay, you know. It's really nice. It basically ends with, it's them sort of talking about their kids and Aaron just sort of goes, because they've got two little girls, and Aaron's like, you know,

I want them to grow up in a world where they're safe, but basically I want them to be like their mum because if they're like their mum, they're going to be okay. And it's really nice. You're like, that's so nice. But yeah, what a freaking ordeal. Isn't that a wild story?

That is so wild. One of the most wild we've ever had on the show. Welcome back, Dave. Oh, I'm glad I was here for that episode. Imagine getting a guest in and making them sit through that. Hey, come to our comedy podcast and then. Little gear change from a weird owl last week. Yeah, that's right.

But yeah, no, I was absolutely gripped and like you said, like at different times you think, no, it must be this person. No, they must be lying. But that's because Jess was manipulating us. Yeah. Remember that. That wasn't our biases. No, that was Jess. You played us like a fiddle and it felt great.

It felt good. It felt like the devil was going down to Georgia, which is the name of a fiddling song. And a US state? Yes, that is true. Holy shit. Could have been. Yeah, yeah.

It is in my mind, a place that I go. Yeah, okay. Also, Henry Lee's the name of a Nick Cave song. All right, so I couldn't get that out of my head every time you mention him. Does that bring up? to everyone's favorite section of the show. I think it might.

I believe it does. I mean, I feel like over the last month, this has improved a lot. So it'll be a bit jarring to try and wedge Dave back in, but let's see if we can. We have been doing it really well and certainly not taking it for a real fucking walk. Yeah. The dings have been fantastic. I should say that right off the bat. But we'll see how we go.

We'll see how we go. Anyway, yeah, no, look, Dave, won't come back. How about some of these bands were. booked. Oh yeah, we've been booking some good bands. We have been booking some good bands. Do you have a backlog of book bands? Yeah, I've just, I opened up my name and I can't believe how many people have said yes. Okay, great. Oh, perfect. We've got some great acts coming out tonight. All right, fantastic. Well, before we get to that, really, this section of the show, it's about 30 to 40 minutes now that Dave's bagging. While Dave was gone, it was three, four hours, where we thank some of our

great patron supporters. These are the people who keep the lights on and the mics on, on this podcast. That's nice. I like that. Yeah, if you want to get involved, you go to patechon.com slash do-go-on pod, Dave will be able to tell you about some of the rewards or whatnot you can get if you get involved. Well, if things haven't changed since I've been gone, what we do is, yeah, we reward people with our bonus episodes. We put out three a month, soon to be four. Wow. Soon to be four.

We're expecting. Plus you get access to the bat catalog, which is over 200. The bat catalog. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't know about the bat catalog? We actually, I once did a report on the bat bomb. Do you remember that? Yeah.

And Batman. Yeah, of course I don't remember that. That wasn't a bonus episode. But also, you can be part of the Facebook group, which is a lovely place. Honestly, you think Facebook group, how could that be? It's lovely. It's nice in there. Lately, it's really being filled with people saying, don't worry, he's fine.

And that's true. Which has been true this whole time. Vindicated. I'll read that thinking, that's true. I am. And you also get discount tickets. You get to vote for topics like this one. I think that they, you said that maybe you're worried it was a great.

topic. I think it was so gripping that I'm glad that voted for. If I can be completely honest with you, I put up four, three were really freaking good. I was like, oh, I'm on a hot streak here. These are going to be amazing. And they did, they voted really well. And I'm excited to do the others at another time because they were great. So some, some smoking hot suggestions in the hat lately, I just want to say. I was looking, these were mostly sort of fairly recent suggestions. And they were hot, hot, hat, hat. And anyone can suggest? Yeah. You go to, do go on pod.com and there's a link there saying submit or something like that. Yep.

I would say, you know how the mind can come up with some pretty full-on stuff? When you say this is so grim, I was expecting it to be way worse. Yeah, right. And obviously it was horrible, but I was expecting it, you know, to be the worst thing of all time. But we've done like the clown. We've done William H. Macy and stuff. We've done William H. Macy. Terrible.

What a terrible life he's led. Yeah, didn't he pay to get a kid in a uni or something? Yeah. That was him? Yeah. Yeah, it was a pretty funsy episode, but also his brother, the clown killer, whatever his name was. Gacy, not Macy. Both William H though, doesn't matter.

I don't know. So what we do, Patreon.com slash do go on pod. You get involved. One of the levels is the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above, and if you're involved in that, you get to give us a factor-quota question, which actually has a jingle that goes something like this. Fact quote or question. Ding. He always remembers the ding.

She always remembers the thing. And the jing. Cool. And yeah, people get to give us a fact or quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion or really whatever they like. They also get to give themselves a title. I read out four each week. I read them out for the first time on the show. That is just to forgive me for anything that's pretty full on that they write or any mispronounceations I make.

Mishpronunciations. Yes. Yes. A bit of comic irony there. It's a hard word. Just pronunciate that one and that. So the first one comes from Cheryl Engelsman, aka mother of a 95 pound toddler.

Conversion, their 43 kegs. Thank you. I was about to convert it. 43 kilo toddler. Is that huge? That's incredible. I think you're... I think I probably achieved that weight about 18.

Yeah. Like, genuinely, right? Yeah, maybe 16. Your comedy weight was 59, right? 52. 52, and that wasn't my early 20s. Wow. Wow, that's a big toddler.

Congratulations, love it. Congratulations on the weight of your tod. Yeah. Cheryl's offering a brag slash suggestion. I mean, the brag's already happened. Yeah, it's already happened. You got a big Todd. But let's see if there's any more to it.

Big toddy. Hey, mates, my brag is that I recently adopted a great day and okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Because I was a little concerned for that child. By Great Dane.

I was getting ready to sign them up to the Boomer's talent pathway. I have no connection to the showing basketball team pathway. But adopted Great Dane named Searsha, which is an Irish name. Shersha. Shersha. Well, phonetically. Searsha. They've written Searsha.

So it's their dog. Okay. Their rules. Yep. And she is 95 pound. toddler. I posted about her, is that groan since I just said before? No, I already said 95. Don't mind me. I post about her in the nicest corner of the internet. Oh yes. Anyone wants to see her adorable face. Very cute. I like that. If anyone wants to see her,

sign up to Patreon. Love that. She's a handful, but a total sweet heart and a giant goofball. My suggestion is something I also brought up in the Facebook group that you lovely pod hosts come out with some dog slash pet merch. Bandanas were offered as a good option. I know most of the listeners with pets would love to have their furry, scaly friends rep the pod. And we already have a couple of models ready to... Absolutely. I'd love that.

Can I just double-check furry slash scaly? Are they the two kinds of pets you can have? Yeah. Feathery? No, it's not listed. Okay. Could you get a little scarf for your parrot? That would be cute.

That would be really cute. That would be really cute. A little parrot with a scarf on, adorable. We should do that. We should. Yeah, absolutely. Little, yeah, little neck ties. What about a bow tie?

That would be cute. Our dogs rock a bow tie sometimes. And do we call out the, this is, you're going to hate this so much, but the pet range is like dog go on or something like that. Yeah, but I mean, that's pretty narrow, isn't it? Yeah. What about cats? Dave, you've, you've forgotten there. We just said the scaly.

We just said the scaly. What about lizards? Do lizard on. What about like your muffs for your goldfish? How about we just say, that's good. How about we just say, do go on pet range or something? Yeah.

It'd be a bit more inclusive, Dave. Okay. I know you're very... Dogs are the superior pet. You're very myopic when it comes to pets. Does that mean one odd? I don't know. Doesn't matter then.

The next one comes from Chris Torres. Hang on, I did a conversion to find out how big my toddler is. Okay. He's 39 pounds. Wow. So this is more than double your tod. Yeah. Well, I've done an intent search for the world's heaviest toddler.

And in 2003, a guy from Russia, Dan Zambulat Katov was the, according to Guinness Book Records, the world's heaviest child. Okay. At four years old, he weighed 56 kilos. Wow. Be so tall as well? Well, at seven, he was four foot three. and weighed 100 kilos. Wow.

Yeah, I think he had a, you know, doctors were unsure of the cause of his fast growth. Yeah, that's impressive. Sorry to interrupt you there, Matt, to tell you how heavy my dog is. No, that's all right. I meant to say monocular, one-eyed. Myopic means not able to clearly see objects at a far away, which I guess for Dave, cats, cats, fish, parrots and other kinds of pets. Yeah, certainly birds.

Or is he's got a dog in the face. see what's in front of him and that's his dog. That's a Humphrey. That's a Humphrey. That's a Humphrey. Okay, the next one comes from Chris Torres, aka official North Carolanian. Official North Carolinian.

Is that right? Living in Ohio with family and Gary, Indiana of the pod. I can't believe how many things Chris ticks. If you have any connection to a Creamy in Vermont, you've done it all. Oh my God. You know what I realized while you're away, Dave? What? I've already told Jess is fantastic.

And you better believe she was not particularly excited about it. Alastair Trombay-Berchel lives in Quebec, which shares a border with Vermont. Oh my gosh. Creamy territory. Yeah. You could, you've got a man on the ground. Oh, my gosh. You could get feet in a creamy, tongue on a creamy.

Wow. He could be my, my cream. He could get feed on a creamy? Yeah, I said boots on the ground. Oh, feed on a. Yeah. I lost control of the. Gotcha.

Uh, analogy or whatever that was. My creamy proxy. You could zoom him And he could like really in incredible detail Describe the texture Knowledge yet where you've got like a little sock That you can you know like some sort of a sock connected to a computer And you put your tongue

And that's the other end That's like an animatronic tongue I can lick things for you Have they got that yet? Have they got that yet? So you do that you'd just be Start with an ice cream And then quickly just go onto the ground

Suck shit, suck shit, suck shit. Yeah, yeah. Even if you invented that with the sweetest intentions, it would immediately be sex. Would it mean it. It would sell so well from long-distance couples. But then you would be... Just go to town on each other. But you would be so annoyed.

No. No. It's for creamies. It's for creamies. It's been misinterpreted. It's been misinterpreted. It's for people... It's for people...

It's for people trying to enjoy doll whip. From afar! Yes! Anyway, sorry about that run-up there. Chris, anyway, Chris has a fact. Hey, gang, I'm back. Back, brackets T, and then out of brackets T with another fact. Oh, I see what you're saying.

I'm back with another fact. This one is dog themed. Oh, my God. Back-to-back dog. I'm listening because I can say it. So hopefully this is an excuse to bring back dog-oon. Oh my God. Oh my God.

It makes sense. What the fuck is happening right now? And this one isn't even North Carolina theme. So hopefully Jess is more inclined to think it's fun. In the past, you've still pretty bored. Chris's facts about mini golf courses, flowers that ate things. I thought they were great. Why?

I mean, but that's not up to you, is it? Yes. Am I in charge of great fans? No, that's a great fan. I'm grim, you're dull. I'm fun. That's just, no, that's just how we are. in terms of facts. Oh no, it's the same. It's the same.

On episode 426, the sixth Backstreet Boy, in the fact-quot-a-question segment, Matt made a joke about dogs only seeing black and white, while the do-go on logo is blue and yellow. Did I get that comedic timing right, Matt? I don't remember. My facts, I'm sorry, Chris, I've known for memory of this at all. I think that was when I just got back from America and I did the, because I wasn't on that episode. I did the end bit and I remember it being a bit delirious. I was going to say, I was like, I don't think you were on that episode. Did I get that comedic timing right? I reckon you probably nailed it because Matt's timing is. I mean, I'm doing my timing through you.

So if anything, it's probably even more good timing. And I'm well known for my timing. That's right. My fact, ironically dogs only see in blue and yellow. The retinas in the eyes of animals are filled with light sensitive cells called photo receptors. Animals have two kinds. Rod photoreceptors.

They can receive rods, which are sensitive to the intensity of light. Oh, okay, I got that. I should have read the end of the sentence. I just assumed it was people called Rod. Yeah. Dogs can see Rod. Yeah, Rod, Todd, this is God.

Classic. That's from the Simpsons. Okay. So they've got the ones that can accept Rod into their lives and hearts and, oh, sorry, light. Well, then Rod, we trust. And cone photoreceptors.

which are sensitive to the colour of light. Cones are terrible at detecting really low levels of light, which is why colour washes out in the dark. In most animals, these, I mean, if your aim, Chris, was to make a fun fact, I think getting deep into the scientific... I mean, I was so gripped for the first sentence, but the last 12, I've really... This diminishing returns, Chris.

Well, it goes on. In most animals, these colour sensitive cone photoreceptors can be further subdivided and named based on the color of light they are most sensitive to. As Matt in particular may know, many apes, humans included, have three kinds of cones. Sensitive to red, green and blue light. Primates came back a week or so ago, by the way. Congratulations.

An episode about Kong versus Godzilla. The colors we see as a result of our brains comparing signals sent to it from different levels of activation of each type of cone. I just letting you know, Chris, Jesse is browsing Facebook. That's true I'm on the Patreon group So we can only see red green, blue

or some combination of the three Uh But having three types of drones I'm sorry Chris can I just say Dull fact confirmed Chris Dogs can see in blue and yellow

End of fact Would you have said that was fun to me No because I already knew that So I didn't have been fun But yeah I guess I'd go Yeah it's kind of fun Considering that our logo I would have never thought

that Humphrey could see that logo really well That's all you can see. Her place my mom. That's the first thing. He's a whoa. Oh my God. That's why he listens to the show. Hello Humphrey.

Sorry. Can you let Chris finish? Sorry, Chris, please. Do go on. I'm just going to keep scrolling on Facebook. I only have two types. This is cones. Exactly which colors those two types are most sensitive to,

varies among animals. But in dogs, they happen to be sensitive to blue and yellow. So counter to the common misconception, the dogs are colored one and those only see black and white. dogs can actually see blue yellow, including really dark yellow, which looks kind of brown. Chris is this dog. The story is the circle. So you picked the perfect possible color palette for a dog on logo.

Books forever. Oh, that might have wanted to back. I'm back. I'm back. I think that confirmed dull to me. Books forever. You like words, Chris? A bit of fun there, Chris.

I like that. I thought it was a fun fact. And I think because you ham it at home, it's going to stick with me. Cones. I think a few people are smoking on some of those right now. And loving this. Dog seeing blue and yellow. That's been smoking a cone.

I thought that you kissing a dog. I thought that's you putting your tongue into that computer thing. I want to taste this cone. Let me look your dog's eye. Put the tongue up to it. Everyone this week so far has had a ch name. And this one is no exception. Wow.

Charlie. Whoa! So we've had Cheryl. Chris and Charlie. Sorry, I'm hungry. I'm trying to get back into it now. Official guy, oh, Charlie's official guy who met Matt in Chicago invited him. Oh my God, this is long, to come to an improv show, but was kind of half joking and didn't

expect him to come because I know he's not big on improv. And it kind of felt weird to even bring it up in the first place. But then he actually came to the show, which was very surprising, but I appreciate it. And I thought the show was just okay. I mean, it wasn't bad, but we've had better. and there were like 12 people in the crowd, but Matt seemed to enjoy himself. But then again, he also seemed kind of drunk.

I was. And I appreciate it either way. And then also we sat at the bar and talked to talk like two hours. And he's a pretty cool dude, I think, well, Charlie. That read to me at the start like you were not actually supposed to go. You know, it was like embarrassing that you actually turned out. I mean, don't invite me. But by the end, it's lovely and wholesome.

But at first I was like, oh, Matt, you've done it again. So we had a Patreon catch-up in Chicago, which I've talked about on Matt remembers a pod. A podcast, I hope never happens again. Well, it's unlikely that I will remember it. And then for lunch, I think I had Mexican. Oh, I'm talking of, oh, I feel hungry for lunch. Okay, mate. You're talking about a lunch you haven't even had yet.

Fuck, he got me. So we got up for Patreon catch-up in Chicago, and he told me there. And it was just rotating patrons coming through. just round after round of beers. I end up with Swabsie and, oh my God, why can't I remember Swabsie's wife's name? She's got an equally awesome name, but Swabsie has pushed it out of my head. It's like Finozby. But anyway, I said differently wrong every time.

But they took me to the Guinness, the first Guinness pub outside of, brewery outside of Dublin. And then they were driving home. I said, you're not driving past this improv place. They dropped me off there. and then I, you know, anyway. To hear more of this story, you can subscribe to our Patreon, Matt remembers two exciting episodes.

Absolutely gripping. Scrolling Facebook. I don't know, Chris got me in the mood for explaining things. So, Charlie has a question. That was only his title, not his... Yeah, great. Hello from Chicago. I really want to go to Melbourne this year for the company festival,

but the problem is that I've never traveled alone. Never been outside of the USA, except I spent one day in Canada. but that doesn't count. Oh my God, you immediately lied and confessed up. Beautiful. And in fact, have hardly even been outside of my home state. I wanted to see the world and I figure Australia is an easy place to start.

Yeah. I mean, you do live... It is very far. You've got Mexico and Canada. Straddling. That's arguably easier, yes. We are far away. But I think it's an easy place to...

Culturally. Visit. Yeah. It's like, it's different enough that you'll be like... Oh, that's different. Whoa. But there's no language barrier and we're pretty friendly and it's safe. Chicago felt to me quite, I don't know, I felt quite a lot like home, like Melbourne.

I think it's like Melbourne's like a smaller Chicago or something and also different in other ways. Like their dishes are deeper. And they have some awful drinks like Malo. Oh, that's right. But anyway, if you want to hear more about that, listen to Matt Remembers. Oh, God. Save yourself. People loved it.

I just don't really know how to go about it. Being three people who live in Melbourne and who seem to go on international trips all the time, that's more you day everything. What advice would you give a first time traveller? What should I bring? How long should I say for? How can I avoid spending too much? What are some fun things to do in Melbourne on your own? The American dollar is very strong.

Everything will be cheap as shit for you here. It'll be fine. Yeah, I like... Jess is saying that as someone who's about to go the opposite way. Yeah, so it's going to be very expensive. If I'm thinking about do I want to go there, my number one first stops is a little website called YouTube.com. You can usually type in top 10 and then name of city,

and there's either like Expedia have professional ones of like most major cities in the world, or you can just have vloggers that are just walking around saying, here are 10 things I did, and you can sort of see a vibe of the city a bit like that. And at the end of the 10-minute video, you'll probably go, yeah, I want to go there. Or that doesn't look like my scene. So I think that's a really good place to start.

So you want to do that for Sydney, you want to do that for Melbourne, for Brisbane, Adelaide, wherever you want to go. I think you want to do, like, definitely come to Melbourne for the Comedy Festival because that's a great time to be in the city. And it's very Chicago kind of weather too. Yeah, I was going to say weather-wise, it's quite nice. As in cold and rainy. But not, it's not always too wet. But it's not Chicago freezing.

It's just. It's a bit of a mix. It can be a bit chilly and it can rain, but it's not like, it's not so wet. you can't go outside. It's just, it's turning into autumn. Yeah. Comedy Festival always feels like the start of winter to make some reason. It does a bit, yeah.

Start a footy season too. You also probably want to go to Sydney, different kind of weather and just like the, see the bridge, see the opera house. Like it's a great touristy sort of spot. But there's lots of really amazing. You can go further north. It depends on how long you can take and how long you want to take. But like, like, you could go further north and do like cans and see the Daintree and Great Barrier Reef.

Great Barrier Reef is really spectacular. and again, the weather is more tropical. Go to the red center. Darwin's awesome. Which isn't the red center, of course, but different again. The thing to remember and the thing that I see a lot of Americans on TikTok talking about is that Australia is quite a lot larger than you think it is. And it's pretty hard to, you can't really just go, oh, so I'll go to Melbourne and then

the next day I'll drive to Sydney. Like it's not super driveable. These places are very far apart. If you look on the map, Melbourne to Sydney doesn't look that far, but it is like. like a, you know, a 10 hour or so drive. Yeah, it's quite far. It's doable, but, you know. That should be doable. It's doable. So, yeah, fly places. I'd say, and because you're a Chicago improv, like there's, maybe you could link up with someone at the improv conspiracy in Melbourne, who, I think the guy started to, he's American. I think he might be from Chicago even, but he, like,

started over there. But maybe there's a, that's a place to sort of link up with and see if you can, I don't know, do some, I don't know what your improvos do. Do some work together. Some shows. Do some scenes. There'd be heaps of improv shows at the festival you could check out as well if you wanted to. I should say, I've got no problem with improv. Improv's fun.

Yeah. And I want to also just say on the travelling solo thing, traveling solo rules. It's so good. There's little moments where you're like, oh, am I a bit homesick or am I a bit lonely? but you get to do everything at your own pace. If you're walking through a museum and you're like, this isn't for me, you can just leave. You don't have to wait for another person to like stand at a painting for four hours

and you're like, oh, I want to go. You just leave. You're hungry, you eat. You want to stay in your room and just watch TV one night because you're tired? You can. You don't have to feel, you know, obligated to do stuff that other people... Traveling with other people is great, but traveling by yourself, also great. And when you're traveling by yourself, you also end up linking up with people.

and, you know, you can, you know, you have quick friendships. That's right. I would say Australia feels like a pretty safe place to travel solo as well. Yeah, Melbourne Company Festival, you've just got things to do every night. Yeah. If you wanted, you know, you could, you know, you'd have probably 50 shows to choose from every night. More, less, I don't know. Sometimes more.

Yeah, yeah. So it's definitely, do it, do it. Come hang out. It'll be so fun. Not with me, though. I did not enjoy your company. He finished up by saying, thanks, guys. Keep up the great work.

Your show never fails to make me laugh. And it's always a treat when I see a new episode pop up. Charlie, all right, Charlie, you've won me back. Thanks, Charlie. That's nice. That was a very fun night hanging out. But I was... Hamid.

I was a bit drunk and obnoxious. He was hammered. I remember annoying everyone. And we should also say we are doing shows at the Comedy Festival. So if you're in town, we've got three opportunities to see us to live dogo ons on Sunday afternoons, downstairs at basement comedy club. And also, Matt, you're doing a small show. split show with Serene, so you get to see some standups and podcasts.

If you want to come to see us, if you're in town, please come along. Yeah. I did it in Adelaide. It was so much fun. And yeah, we did some Patreon catch-ups there like we did in Chicago. And I'm probably going to, Jess is invited, going to turn one in Melbourne as well. Yeah. I'm busy.

She's busy. But, you know what it is? I'm shy. Yeah. I'm an introvert. Which is fair enough. I'm on a healing journey this year. But, um.

I'm all about sleeping. So before you ask, Jess is fine. She was just busy that day, okay? Yeah. So let's not make it all about her. I'm here. Yeah. What don't ask you about how I'm going.

Not where's Jess? Oh yeah, we'll talk about it in the Facebook group a good time for that. Maybe it'll be, I don't know, before. I don't know, whatever. We'll figure it out. Last one comes from Paul Mellor. Okay, an old rocker from Oldham. And Paul's bragg.

Got a brag. We welcome brags. Love a brag. We will celebrate with you. Hit us. This is a wordy week because we got another wordy one, which we love. Which we love? To our point.

Hi guys, it's me again with another Oldham-based fact which could be considered a brag. It may even be fun, but I'll let Jess decide. So back in the day, well, 991, oh, a good year. I was an 18-year-old rocker earning just enough to pay rent to my parents and get out to local pubs at a weekend. August 17th of that year I experienced my first festival At the home of rock Donington

I think it's unfair to Chris that you didn't use This voice for Chris's fact about the dogs I probably would have been more about it But please continue That year Monsters of Rock line up was Queens Rock, Motley crew

Metallica and headlined by Akadaka It was amazing day out However just a little earlier that month On the 5th of August I got to see a very local band playing at Oldham's Queen Elizabeth Hall. That band was there. And then...

Was there? That band was called Dare, Dave. Listen up. It's your name with one letter different. Dare, okay? Dare. Dare. Not there.

That band was there. The band I saw was there. The band was Dare, Dave. Like the Oscoffy. Listen up. Over Dare? Mate, you got two ears, one mouth. Fusing him in that bloody race show.

All right. Shut, sorry, that. That band was there, and I was in that band. Hang on. And in that band was a very young, long-eared keyboard playing Professor Brian Cox. Yes, that's right. The good professor was, in fact, a glam rocker from Oldham. I actually met the band at the local record shop.

Yes, you heard me right. Record shop, the Gold Disc, promoting their single, We don't need a reason. So, fuck off. I added that last bit in post. I still have the autographed CD single on my shelf. Now, I'm not claiming this was great music, but it was fairly good rock music.

Not a patch on the bands at Donington that year, but it was not a bad little gig. I'll post a picture on Facebook after this goes out and see if I can find a link to the music video. Thanks for all the great episodes so far this year, all being well, I'll see you on the 7th of April at your live show with my family in tow. Take care.

Okay, you've gone scary. Now I think Paul's going to murder me at the show. He's telling me what I'm going to die. Whoa. We lost you for a bit there. Where'd you go? Oaldom. Yeah.

Nowhere near their accent, I don't think. What's the Oldham accent, Dave? It's very close to Manchester. Okay. So you do your Liam Gallagher then. I don't know if I do a Liam Gallagher. Oh, okay. Do your Null Gallagher. Subtle differences.

Yeah. Okay, do your bonehead. What's the other... They've got a great. Isn't one of them called Bonehead or something? One of the Galagos? One of the Oasis. Oh, right.

Doesn't matter. You're not going to do any of them. Doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter. Oh, guess. Okay, that means, what are we doing? That's the end of the... That went for like...

That went for 40 minutes. What is this called? Fact quote a question. Thank you to Paul, Charlie, Chris and Shezrell. Can I call you Shezzer? Just a quick question. I'll wait. The next thing we like to do,

I honestly, oxygen stopped going on my brain during that. During that, so many years ago. What I'd say during that I meant my life so far. The next thing we like to do is, Well, thank a few other of our great Patreon supporters. Yeah.

Bob, you normally... I come up with the game. Came up with the game. But, okay, here's my thought. Because you know how there was like the Mare Island Creeper? But let's not make it something that's a horrendous crime. But what about like some sort of like a name? Okay, based on where they're from, maybe.

We'll give my name. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe like a positive thing. Yeah. But they're known as, like, we'll come up with some examples. We'll come up with some examples. You don't waste any good examples here. I've got one.

I'm ready to go. So, Matt, do you want to kick us off by thanking some people? Sure. Rhythm guitarist was Paul Bonehead Arthur's. Sure. Until the year of 99. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oasis.

I thought their best era was in the 2000. Oh, yeah. Definitely not. The Flying Birds were the band Oasis could have been. All right. So if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Albion Park, New South Wales, Australia. Karen Evry.

The Albion Park bin reminderer. Oh, I need it. It's midnight for me tonight. Oh my God, Dave. Thank you so much. Wait, Thursday, it's my midnight too. Oh, my gosh. Well, Karen's here to let you know.

Karen, thank you so much. Thank you, Karen. Not every Karen, but Karen Evry will let you know. That's nice. That's a good tag one, Karen. Matt, that was pretty good. Yeah, I'll pay that. Oxygen's getting back in there.

This is where I come up with the good stuff. I'm sorry. He doesn't know. how to do anything with his mouth. That's how he drinks, eats. How I tongue a computer. Next one, I'd love to thank from Toulay, maybe in Queensland, Australia. Felicity Berry.

What a fantastic name. The Tully, I, Apple. Okay, and can you talk to it? Felicity is the apple of everyone in that community's eye. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, exactly. It used to be the apple of the Tili apple of our eye, but now it's just been short to the Tilly apple.

Okay, that's great. That's nice. And sometimes just Apple. Everyone's just very proud of Felicity. I made a coffee at home the other day and the foam sort of looked like an apple. Oh my God. Did you make a photo? I sure fucking did.

Think it's because I don't believe you. I took it. What you should have done was not touched it and sold it on eBay. Exactly. You can't quite see, but the top of it has like a little stalk coming out of it. Oh my gosh. It looks like a little apple. Like a cartoon of an apple.

Yeah. It looks like an apple emoji. If you turn on its side, it looks like. Someone spewing. That looks like a Pac-Man with a tiny mouth. Yeah. And Pac-Man's going, and Pac-Man's going. They're trying to suck up the things.

And the last one for me, I would love to thank from, I really got to look up what umlouts do to letters, but I've just got an umlaut on the O. I think it lengthens them. That's why motorhead should be pronounced mootahead. Uribru, Uribrough, from S.E. Sweden. Am I right in saying that? I see. I'd love to thank Joe Lease.

Joe Lease. Joe Lease. The Oribro Orio. Oh. Oh, nice. Got a bit of cream in the middle. Is that right? Like an Oreo?

Yeah. Yeah. Happy to be dunked. Happy to be dunked. He's a dunker. Or they're a dunker. And Dunker Shirm. For your support.

Arrobrote, the sixth largest city in Sweden. What the fuck is it wrong with a dunker? Do you know what I mean? Like, sometimes there's just moments where I look around and I go, what the fuck are we doing? I think this episode has been a real Oreo. Yeah. The middle bit was a great report.

But even sort of that has been nonsense, okay, hard brown biscuit. Yeah, no one likes the biscuit. What's happening? See what I mean? Dave, you should go back on leave, I think. So do I, did I bring this weird energy? No, you should just save yourself.

We're two Hamish's and you're our Andy. That's according to one Patreon. I'm like, sorry. I just put my hand out and then Jess put hers out on top of mine. I thought, oh, sorry, is that your spot? I know you would, oh, human touch. Oh, okay. Oh, my.

Apparently, as the Andy, would you like me to move things along? Yeah, please. Thanks on people. I'm so hungry. I would like to think from location unknown, we can only assume they're deep within the fortress of the mole, so do with that. What you will. Daniel Corrigan. The fortress hole digger.

I think Corrigan made me think of like, is it the... Corrigated Island? Isle? Oh, my God. Yes. How about I finish your sentence? Kerrigan's from the castle? Yep.

And digging a hole. Yes. And obviously, he's a mole. The deeper, the better. Done another hole. It's filling with water. Good stuff. That is good stuff.

Great movie. Daniel Corrigan. I would also like to thank from Anchorage in Alaska. Fantastic. Thank you so much to Katie Stachow. Or Stady, Katie Stacowal. Oh, the Anchorage Bluebird. I love that.

Sort of secretly goes around, spreading song. Oh, that's nice. Just outside windows going, oh. A bit more warble, and then as soon as people pop their head out, gone. It's gone. But also, they do notice that it's really put them in a better mood. Yeah.

It's positive only. And they yell out, thank you, anguish, anguish, anchorage bluebird. I just lost my mother. And you've put a pep in my step. Wait, there she is. Thanks, Bluebird. That's right. Little twist there.

I would also like to thank from Olympia in Washington, John Hamilton. John Hamilton from Washington? From Olympia. That's cool. From the Olympia. Splendor. Which I think is a brand of air conditioner. Okay.

Olympia Splendor. So he just goes around going, Because John makes every situation Cool Yeah He's cool in every situation Yes That's good

Oh the splendor Thank goodness Oh thank goodness And even people who don't know That niche brand of an air conditioner You just still think Splendor It's splendid

And it's not quite It's the Olympia splendid Okay But I'm going to call John the splendour The Olympia splendour May I thank some people Please I would love to thank

From Oren Park In New South Wales Melissa Areola Oh, is that the nipple? Yeah. Well, I won't I won't focus on that.

The Oren Park A boob. The Aboob? I'm so sorry, Moosa, I'm sure you've never got that. Yeah, I'm sure that's... Sure that's never happened before. The Oren Park Strangler.

Breeze. Breeze. The Oren Park Breeze. Oh, that's nice. Just brings a freshness. It always brings a cool change. Yeah. Whenever Melissa rocks up to a party or any sort of event,

maybe she comes to your firm. As is how I understand. And everyone's like, oh my God. It is stuffy in here. We needed a change. And here it is. Yeah, Melissa, thank you so much. You are a breath of fresh air.

In fact, you're the orange park breeze. That's nice. That's nice. What a compliment. I would also love to thank, also in New South Wales, from Berymbul, Jess Smith. What about the Berrimble Badger

Oh, I like that Because of alliteration Badger and like You know If you're a bit worried About going in And like confronting someone Yeah

You call the Badger in Yeah They will go in They'll plead your On your car They'll badger on your behalf Absolutely They went back down

But not the badger Just the badger Just the badger I like it's better Yeah The badger will not back down Must be back down badger Much easier for Jess

To make merch You know Yeah I don't think I feels like we have not stuck at all with the idea of the creeper. Until now, the badger's the first one that feels like it fits the breath of him.

We wanted to move away from the creeper. No, but you know, I mean, normally it's like, it's like a, what do you call that? It's a word that is like a thing someone does. They creeps, they're the creeper. They're the badger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I felt, you know, we had the breeze. We know what that means. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a blender. Don't look into it, you know? We're up to our last one. But it could have been the Oren Park blower instead of the breeze. You know what I mean? Sure. Sure, sure, sure. But I think, no.

All right, well, let's stick to that new rule for this last one. Okay. many kates in cambra there's a few blooded clowns up there mate kate creeper what about kate the crape what about the cambra craper oh they they make crapes make crapes oh they're a crappy air yeah they're a crappier we got a little a little truck see them at festivals and stuff there were people always like yes actually there was a crape truck people are always like you know i am yes there was a there was a truck at the New Year's festival I went to and I had two of those crepes.

I went back for more crepe. Highlight of your new year. It was so good. I had biscoff and strawberry on it. It was fucking delicious. That sounds so good. Shit, yeah. Love it.

I love those little Dutch puffergies. Oh, yes. There's a mini pancake. Very good. Got to love them. A little bite size. I'm a moya. Banana.

Oh my goodness. Yum. Thank you so much to Kate. Jess, Melissa, John, Katie, Daniel, Joe, Felicity and Karen. The last thing we need to do is welcome a few people in our trip ditch club. We've got five inductees this week the way it works. bit of theater of the mind if you've been on the shadow level or above for three straight years. If you've been out of the shadow level, oh, la la la, la, sorry, my tongue got caught in the

machine again. Why do you have the machine attached to your microphone? It's very distracting. I just as soon as we stop recording, I know where my tongue wants to be. Vermont? It wants to be in Vermont. He's like, Alster, ready the creamy. We've finished recording. Ready the creamy. He's on Stanley. So, yeah, a bit of theater of the mind. There's a club.

Once you've been signed up on the shoutout level for three years straight, you get in, you're not allowed to leave, which is a good thing. We can't stress that enough. The place is whatever you want it to be. Some people imagine it as like a beautiful airport lounge or like a Frank Sinatra-style Las Vegas club. It could be whatever you want. I think Dave particularly imagines a gym where he pumps iron.

Everyone imagines it differently. Exactly, because in this place, I could be fit. Because it's in the mind. It can be anything. And, yeah, like I said, there's five people being inducted this week. I'm standing at the door. I got the clipboard. They're being induced.

They're being induced. I've got, yes, we're expecting five. And so I'm about to read out those names before I do that. Jess is behind the bar. Yeah. She's worked on a cocktail normally. Yeah. But.

What's the American Nightmare cocktail involved? Um, it's got, uh, blood in it. Oh my God. Whatever. From, from, from... Fake blood, fake blood. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, get your head out of the gutter.

It's got fake blood in it. Where the blood, real blood is in the gutter. It's got some dirt. It's got syringent. And also, I put it up on the bar, but then I go, I sort of hide around a corner and I look at you. When was the last time you made a cocktail that was drinkable? I forgot to mention it's also far too hot. Well, no!

Why have you heated it up? You know that oven's faulty. It probably just as well as that means people won't want to drink it. Yeah, don't drink it. Like it will kill you. It'll probably kill you. I'm sorry. Dave, you've booked a ban.

Sorry about that. Jeff, stop heating up the drinks. I thought it would be nice. Yeah, I mean, the idea of a hot toddy or something sounds very nice, but not too hot. We've got to fix the oven. How hot is it? It's too hot. Can you just quickly check the temperature?

Okay. Oh, it's too hot. Oh, no. Oh, God. It's 200 degrees. Oh, that is way too hot. Oh, my God. Stop it.

It's too hot. All right. Can you just put it in the bin or something? The oven? At least the drink. Can we get it serviced? And Dave normally books a band. Yeah.

First band, you're never going to believe it. First one, open up my email. I have not looked at my laptop, but just open up the lid. First email I've seen band confirmed this week. And we are being joined by the American metal band Ice Nine Kills, who's, I can't believe it. I've just looked them up because I didn't know too much about the discography.

Second most played song on Spotify, The American Nightmare. Whoa. Third most played song, hip to be scared. Oh, I love a weird allifying of Huey Lewis in the news,

but medallified. That sounds awesome. Hip to be scared. They have another one, another song called Funeral Derangements. Oh, yep. They are medals, Weird Al, by the sounds of it.

Yeah, what a great niche to find. Love it. All right, so five names. Here we go, Dave, I know it's been a while, but I believe in you. And can I just say, I've listened to a couple of the episodes whilst I was away, and can I just say, it is as hard as it looks. Yeah.

Well, if you got to the episode where I think we got Evan to do it, do we? Oh, wow. I think we got Sammy P to do it. He took it for a different sort of a spin. Evan, or Sammy P. I mean, the best in the biz. At what? Hasn't everything, every business.

That's just a fun. funny thing to say. He's the best of the biz. What? What fucking biz? Being podcasting. And Evan always has an answer for everything. So he would have been great to me.

But they're the two episodes I'm yet to catch up with when I'm listening. I'm going to listen through it. I'm very excited because I love those guys. All right. So we got five here. Dave hipes them up with a bit of weak wordplay. Jess hipes up Dave because he mustn't be feeling good about himself. All right.

So first up. Certainly not. From Newark, New York in the United States. It's McKenna Middlebrook. Bam. Bam. You're in the middle of my heart, McKenna Middlebrook. From Taringa in Queensland, Australia.

Oh my God, it's Mick McConnell. My number one pick McConnell. Oh. From Bracken Ridge, also in Queensland. It's Elizabeth Todd. Oh, my God. Speaking of hot toddies. How big's your Todd?

Hot Toddy, Elizabeth Todd. Not your value. You're not your value. Yeah, your temperature is not your value, but you are burning up. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From, oh my God, right here in Melbourne, Victoria, it's Dominic who? More like Dominic, huge part of my heart.

Yes. Most of, honestly. The ventricles and other such things. All the bits and pieces are you, Dominic Hugh. And finally, from Huntington and Huntington in Cambridge, Great Britain, it's Cheryl Render. You have rendered me shook with how amazing you are. My God. God, it's good to have him back.

Cheryl Render. I forgot how good he. wasn't. Thank you so much to Cheryl, Dominic, Elizabeth, Mick and McKenna. Make yourselves at home. Please do not touch the cocktails. But every other cocktail just has ever come up with, they're still there, ready to go. Exactly.

So like the first couple of hundred weeks, yeah. If you go back over maybe two years, I think there's some pretty delicious ones. Some pretty edible things. Yeah, sorry about that. That brings to the end of the episode. I don't think we need to tell me before we go, Bopper? Just that we're sorry? About the, what's the temperature now?

I don't want to tell you. Please. It's 240 now. What the hell? It's climbing. It's gone up. It's gone up by a lot and I'm really scared. Jeeps.

And I keep forgetting. That dirt shouldn't be at that temperature. So maybe, yeah, I mean, check back in next week. See if we're still here if the oven hasn't exploded. You can suggest a topic over at dogo on pod. That's our website. You can find us at do go on pod across social media. You can check us out on TikTok and Instagram.

And, well, Twitter. but I'm not on there. Is anybody tweeting anymore? It doesn't matter. I'm not real. I haven't tweeted in a long time now. Will Anderson's back on there. Oh, okay.

Then I'm back on. I stick around because, yeah, like Tony Martin does his best work there. David Astell. I think I met more like, or any of us updating our Twitter. Oh, I do. Okay, great. Thanks, Matt. Oh, great.

Good for you. Because I don't and I forget every time. I'm hopeless. What's your problem with Elon? I'm just useless. Anyway. Just where I come from. brains should be celebrated.

Elon or me? Both of you. I think both of you, I don't think you need to feel challenged by Elon's intellect. Oh, the other thing to say as well is that our email and DMs are open for your apologies, which you all owe us, because Dave is fine. Oh, yes. I'm more than fine. I'm going great.

Any questions about his news? Just, yeah, direct to Dave. He has not, I keep saying it. He hasn't once said, don't do it. absolutely have. Oh, okay. And I'm saying it again. I haven't been listening to you, so.

And if you're looking for another podcast, why not listen to our great editors, cult popchre? Yes. AJ from New Zealand does a fantastic job. We love AJ. You could also listen to, yeah, primates, like I say, and who knew it with Matt Stewart? And Dave, have you noticed that people are still loving bookcheat? You're on hiatus at the moment, and the people just keep tuning in. Oh, thank you so much.

everyone for tuning in. Yeah, there's, I think, 98 episodes of the back catalogue. So, you know, think of a classic, I might have done it. The Big 100th episode, I think. Have you, you still talking about MCG? Yeah. You're going to give me a cake? No, I'm going to jump out of the cake.

Yeah, you won't get, you don't get to have the cake. Do I have to supply the cake? Yes. Damn it. But I have to get in it. That's still quite a spectacle. If I'm not there, I will have a tongue proxy. You can taste the cake.

I can still taste the cake. Oh, wow, wow. It's nice to have you back because I like to get you to boot at home. So do it. An absolute pleasure to be back. Thank you so much for listening to this show. We'll be back next week with another fantastic episode. That's the Do Go On Promise.

But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to, man. We were just in Manchester. We were just there. But this way you'll never, will never miss out.

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