Do Go On - 437 - Denise Huskins; Real Life Gone Girl?

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

In 2015, a Californian man calls the Police to report that his girlfriend has been kidnapped. But this saga is only just beginning, and there are too many twists and turns to count. This is the story of Denise Huskins. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 10:05 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Do Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/american-nightmare-netflix-denise-huskin-vallejo-kidnapping-rcna135039https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/01/18/american-nightmare-denise-huskins-kidnapping-case-netflix/https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/fbi-makes-arrest-kidnapping-case-once-considered-possible-hoax-n391401https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/vallejo-police-accused-of-treating-hoax-kidnapping-victims-as-perpetrators/68180/https://people.com/american-nightmare-where-are-denise-huskins-aaron-quinn-now Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at doogleonpod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right.

I'm doing shows with Sarenjay Manar who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattsduickcomedy.com. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm Una Chaplin and I'm the host of a new podcast called Hollywood Exiles. It tells the story of how my grandfather Charlie Chaplin and many others were caught up in a campaign to root out communism in Hollywood. It's a story of glamour and scandal and political intrigue and a battle for the soul of the

nation. Hollywood Exiles from CBC Podcasts and the BBC World Service. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Jess Perkins and as always I'm joined by Matt Stewart. Oh hello. Hey quick question, how good is it to be alive? It's pretty darn good. And Dave Waterke!

I'm back baby! Wow, wow, wow, We told you he was fine. We told you. We have been assuring people for weeks, Dave, that you're fine. And for some reason they've taken that to be quite sinister. Yeah, it's weird. Do they know what fine means? I guess not.

And maybe that's on us because we haven't defined fine on this podcast. Yeah, that's true. I mean, we were trying to settle over. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. We said he's fine. He's not thriving, but we were lying because you have been thriving. I've been thriving.

I've been surviving. And I have been procreating. Yeah. Yes, I've had a few weeks off. Thank you so much after everyone filling in. I have been listening to the show at home. A lot of fun to listen back. But I and myself and my wife have welcomed a baby.

Hooray! Hooray! Still unconfirmed. Looks so gross. It's 2024 boys, come on. Come on, come on. Your wife can have babies with her husband. It's 2024.

None of your business, mate. Certainly none of my business. No, that'd be rude for you to ask. Come on. But we're delighted to have you back. Thank you. Yes, that'd be rude for you to ask. Come on. But we're delighted to have you back. Thank you. And everyone's doing very, very well. Very happy and healthy.

So thank you so much. Very, very weller. That's Rob's someone's name. Your wife, Ella. That's on the record. That's on the record. That's on the record. I thought you were saying Ben Quella.

Yes. Wait, oh, the father. Ella and Ben Quella. Yes. I, wait, oh, the father. Oh my God. You're a stepdad to one of the three Ben's as kids? Oh my God. Ben's as kids. What are the chances? What are the chances? But can I just say this?

If I was going to guess, it would never have been Quella. I would have said Foulds every day of the week. Oh, wow. Well, you're a lay woman. You're not the only one that folds. I would have said Folds every day of the week. Oh wow. Well, it's not. You're a lay woman. He's not the only one that Folds. You would have guessed Lee?

Probably. Yeah. I don't know what's happening. Dave. It is great to be back. Yeah. And I am looking forward to the plethora of no longer a virgin jokes thing.

Oh no, that won't happen. We'll still find a way. And you are gonna be talking about it extensively week to week? And you want people to ask you and probe you about details online? I mean, I've seen a few media personalities, comedians, once they become fathers, launch Dad Podcast. And I was thinking, I've already got a podcast. Maybe that could be this show.

So that's all I'll talk about from now on. Do Dad On. You want to talk about Dad bods, give dad advice, talk about dad interests, golf, beer. The firm. What's going on? Ex-wives. How awful they are.

Gotta feel those. Give a little piece on the side. Is that a dad thing? Is that a dad thing or just a my dad thing? I'm extrapolating a little bit a my dad. I'm extrapolating a little bit from my dad, who's a real piece of shit. No, he's not. He doesn't have any other things. He's a great man.

Beautiful man. Never worked at a firm. Teacher, famously a teacher. I know so little about like the real world that I'm like, what, imagine working at a firm, you know, with your briefcase, get your tie on, probably catching the train in. My dad always started to work and had a briefcase every day. Holy shit.

What's he part of the firm? Some sort of firm. Wow. Pretty crazy stuff. Do I think he can get me into the firm now I'm a third? He's retired. So he has no connections for you now. But Dave, I have a business proposal for you right now actually.

Listening. Because it's been a while. Maybe you've had time to really reconcile this in your brain, really make this efficient. Could you explain to people, just joining us for the first time, what this show is? What this show is or what it was? What it was?

It used to be your history show and now we're talking about Dad. And Dave's not joking. If you do have any questions about the baby, ask him online, any time of day or night. Please do not. Leave him alone. He's an open. Please do not leave him alone. He's an open book.

He's an open dad. No, what we actually do here on the show is we take it in terms to research a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, we do a little bit of research and we bring it back to the group in the form of a school report. Basically, the other two people, they sit back and relax. The relaxed little waft over them. Yeah, like a stench exactly.

What do you do with a stench? You let it waft over you. Well, what are you going to do? Bring it to me. How are you going to stop a stench coming? Well, what I do is I leave the room. Yeah, I run. If I have to be in that room though, I'm like,

okay, this is just going to pass. I'll let it waft. I take a really meditative time of approach to it. You breathe it in. I breathe through it, that room though. You let it waft over you. I'm like, okay, this is just gonna pass. I'll let it waft. I take a really meditative type of approach to it. You breathe it in. I breathe through it, that's for sure. Yeah, you do a fart and you say, whoa, it's okay, just let it waft. Let it waft.

Let it waft. Let it waft over you. And the lady doesn't fart, so. I was at a urinal recently. So I had a big note myself like that. Wasn't at a firm, was just at a pub, but there was an old fella next to me and he

he left one rip and he goes I'm so sorry did he break down? and I said to him, he goes, what? and I said mate if not here where? and then did you shake hands? And he said, I'm so glad you, I'm so glad you said so. He said he played out the scenario in his mind that he didn't say anything.

And then I was like, excuse me. I just saw a single tear? It's all down to Jess's face. It was such a funny interaction. I am so sorry. I'm so sorry. Jess is so sincerely, I will just... And if you say, hey, if not here, where?

That's broken me. That's so funny. I need a minute. Did you let it waft over you? I got out of it quick. There are no tissues in here anymore. Ah. I can't stop crying. That's so funny.

And I'm glad we had that nice big laugh because this is a really grim topic. We should say it's Jess's turn to waft. Okay, report on a topic. And we usually start with a question to get us onto the topic. Yeah. Jess, do you need a moment? I don't know. Here's my face far now. No, you look great. Great. Okay a moment? I don't know. He's my face fart now.

No, you look great. Great. Okay, well then I'm fine. I'm just going to let those tears dry naturally. I'll just say, if not here, where? It's a safe space to cry. It just really got me. Oh, it's such a nice feeling when that happens. You never know where it's going to come from.

You mean it? It's an old man fighting for you. You mean it's a nice feeling when you just let a fart out. You never know what's going to happen. I'm so sorry. Hey. That's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I should say it was Irish.

Oh, perfect. Even better. It adds to it. Even better. Oh, that's so good. Okay. I'm so sorry. That wasn't it. All right.

Yep. So, okay. Here we go. So I do have a question to get us onto the topic, but my question is, you won't know about this topic. So can you guess which US state this story occurs in? Maine. No.

Is there any more info or that's it? Just a US state. OK. Well, I'm going to have to say God's Country Ohio. It's not Ohio. Nevada. Home of Gary. Kind of getting close.

Indiana. Not, no. Arizona. No, not Arizona. Oh, California. California. Here we come. Here we come! Beautiful. What an angel.

Oh, I wonder how you started in a range that you couldn't hit. I'd left yourself nowhere to go. Yeah, well, I think I could still land again. Here we come! You left that waft out of you. Yeah. Well, I thought, I thought maybe I could get

a bit more breath in there and just get back to it. I'm looking forward to this grim topic. All right, we've got the laughs out there. No, it's kind of good to be in a bit of a silly mood because it is a pretty full on story, it might, I don't know if this will, this might spoil it for some but really help other people. It's a happy ending. You know, I think that might actually help most people. Great.

And also we can joke along and not feel bad that it's not going to end well because often we don't know, we never know what the topic is going to be. We always just joke along and And sometimes, particularly on YouTube, people are like, they comment along, oh my God, I can't believe you're making fun of such a grim topic when this was gonna happen half now. We didn't know.

We didn't know. And sometimes that's best. But this topic has been suggested by a couple of people, Matt Rowe from Sydney, Christina Gonzalez from Ventura in California. And I won't even really sort of tell you what the story is. I'll just get stuck into it. I love it.

We'll start at the very beginning. Feels like a mystery to me. Let's find out. There is an element of mystery. Yes. So in the early hours of Monday, March 23, 2015, intruders broke into the home of Aaron Quinn, a 30-year-old who worked as a physical therapist at a nearby hospital. Aaron lived on Mayer Island in Vallejo, California, not too far from San Francisco. Aaron and his girlfriend, 30-year-old Denise Huskins, also a physical therapist, were awoken to bright lights shining in their face and laser dots crossing their bodies. Oh my God. man's voice says Aaron life face down

Whoa aliens Okay, early theory. I mean those laser that's classic. Yeah, I mean tortoise bright lights. Yeah, I've seen the exiles face down Probe. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what the red dots looking for. We're to stick it. The probe. Oh, it's looking for the buffalo. Little foreplay. Again, we don't know what's gonna happen. But we know it's grim.

We know it's grim. Happy endings. So have some fun where you can. Have fun where you can. I think is a great approach to this story. Absolutely terrifying. People are broken in. Yeah. Life face down. Yeah. Denise is. A probe with a great approach. Absolutely terrifying. People are broken in, life has down. Yeah. Denise is- A probe with a happy ending.

That's all the aliens need to do. Yeah. You know? Okay, yeah, make it good at the end. Make it good at the end. And then they go, oh, you know what? Okay. Okay.

It's been great to meet you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Could you drop me home? Yeah. Exactly. All's well that ends well. Denise is then instructed to tie Aaron's hands behind his back,

and both Aaron and Denise have blacked out swim goggles placed over their eyes as blindfolds. I hope they can swim. Okay, now it seems like it's like an alien version of Jackass. Is that how they're made to say it? Okay, Jackass. Jackass. Water. I thought it could be that or it could be Peter Van Den Hooten Van Den.

Oh, the Dutch master of the poo. Yeah. Of the? The poo. That's how they say it in Dutch. In Dutch. Pew. The poo. Beautiful place. Dutch. I love Dutch. So they have goggles put over their eyes and headphones placed over their ears. A pre-recorded message tells them to be calm and that, um,

they'd be up, they're going to be asked a few questions to sleep. Just chill. Well, actually it did have like wind chime music underneath it. I'll say Trumbly virtuals voice starts speaking. Yeah. Hello. He's going to shush you to sleep. Oh, that should be pretty doable. Yeah, that's doable. Oh, that should be doable. We're going to ask some questions. Yeah, you're going to be asked a few questions mostly relating to financial details and that Aaron and Denise are going to be given sedatives.

So they're given this liquid to drink. They essentially say, if you don't just take it, I'll inject it. So just drink it. They drink it, they reckon it's Nyquil. It's an antihistamine, pretty strong, putiously. Oh, okay. At this stage, the intruders have said this is a robbery. So they're asking questions about like financial details.

So they're like, okay, they want our bank details. They're going to take his stuff and clear out our bank accounts. They're kind of going like, all right, fine, take everything, whatever. Yeah. Just don't hurt us. They're separated into different rooms of the house. And eventually one of the men says to Denise, we have a problem. This wasn't meant for you. This was meant for Andrea. Who's that,

you ask? It's especially Denise wondering who the fuck is Andrea? Well, she knows who Andrea is because that's Aaron's former fiance who's been who had been living at the house until the previous September. This is in March. So they'd broken up the year before Andrea also worked at the same hospital as them. Right. So she knows who Andrea is, but this has been planned for Andrea, not Denise. Wow. Geez, they are slow in executing a plan like over a year has passed and they haven't checked in to make sure I know yeah

And it doesn't like I don't know what physical therapist soon But I wouldn't have thought they'd be your number one target for a financial type robbery Yeah, because you targeting million and billionaires short. Yeah, so the same as a physio Yeah, they call them that in America So I think they do okay, but yeah, they're not, it's not, you know, a finance bro living in a fancy mansion. Yeah. This is a nice little house. There's no Picasso on the wall to Nick.

That's it. Yeah. So it was meant for Andrea. So that's pretty scary. What a weird thing to say. Yeah. It's like, all right, mate. You're going on, you're saying it's over now?

Yeah. Otherwise just plow on. Play along. Plow on. saying it's over now. Yeah, otherwise just plow on play along plow on I see Continue on let's I don't need to hear a blow by blow mate. Yeah, if you've made a mistake in your plan How's that my problem? Yeah, that's not my problem either either end it now fine Yeah, and go sorry it wasn't meant for you or leave you to it shut the hell up and get on with it Oh, how rude to say sorry. We thought this was Andrea. Yeah, you're not as good.

Oh, great. Or is this all part of it? They're just there. The jackass. They're there to mess with her in particular. Little psychological. Maybe Andrea is behind it. You don't look suspicious if they say it was meant for her.

Oh, that's clever. OK. But we do still think it's aliens. But, oh, well, that's an early theory, yes. I mean, A for Andrea, A for alien. I rest my case. Can you argue with that? I can't, and I won't.

Start with A, don't they? Oh, my god, I didn't even. Yes, there's a whole other level to what he said. The intruders tell Aaron that they're installing a mirroring app on his phone and a camera in his living room. So they'll be able to monitor him because they're going to take Denise and they're going to contact him to arrange payment. They essentially put like red tape around a section of his living room. They're from bureaucracy.

Yeah, classic red tape. They're trying to cut through that, mate. Like a red duct tape. Maybe it's not even red. They just tape this area and that, mate. Like a red duck tape. Good luck. Maybe it's not even red. They just tape this area and like you have to stay here so we can be watching you. And if he goes out of that room or contacts police or anything that they'll know because they're monitoring him.

That's scary. They tell him, call in sick, use Denise's phone to say like she's email work and be like a family emergency's come out. I'm out of town, whatever. We'll contact you. So yeah, he's not to contact police under any circumstances, or there will be dire consequences for Denise. Aaron heard the sound of his Toyota Camry pulling out of the driveway

with the intruders and Denise inside. That's the car of a millionaire. Yes. That's right. He's an enthusiast. Only enthusiasts know the sound of that beautiful Camry per. You know the sound of your own car. I can identify Mazda 3 anywhere because mum has one. And so I know the exact sound.

Oh, really? Way to dox your mum. Now people know that she is one of three million cars on Australian roads. It's got to be more than that. More than three million. I reckon. A driving population would be about 15 million. I reckon more, I reckon heaps have got a Mazda 3.

Yeah, what about 14 million of them? And this is like a 2008. You know, you've got to think every year they're bringing out a new Mazda 3. Oh, that's true. I forget the year time does march on. So he'd know the sound of his own car or a car, whatever. Shut up. It was his car they took.

So they've left and he kind of manages to use the arm rest of the couch to like push the goggles off his face because I think his hands are still tied up. They wanted him to email underneath his phone. Yeah, true. And he was tied up. How did he get his hands free at any point? I'm not sure about that. Maybe he was using hands-free mode on the phone.

Or they assumed it'll probably take him about 15 minutes to get this off by that time we'll be gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe, yeah. So he remembers seeing the time on a digital clock and it was exactly 5 a.m. I love when you see that bang on the hour. Yeah, that's satisfying, isn't it?

Or 12.34, that's a fine 1234? That's the best time. Why? 1234. Got it. I'm with you. That's satisfying. I was like, okay, I kind of a noise me because it's like not 1230. It was the name of my first crush.

1234. I miss you 1234. She was so beautiful. Anyway, so he tries to stay awake, but, but the effects of the sedatives takeover and he passes out. I mean, that's a bonus, isn't it? You get a good nap because it would be hard to have a sleep after something so traumatic.

Yeah. So it is. Yeah. Probably once you wake up properly, you're not going back to sleep for like a week. Yeah. So it's good that he got in 40 winks. Yeah. He got a few hours sleep because he woke up later that morning around 11 30.

Maybe not 40 winks. And that's probably about six wings Do you reckon is that 40 wings is an eight hour sleep? Is that right? I don't know. Why is that a saying? One week per hour Yeah So you have a 40 hours sleep? That's too long. Yeah, I think you'd feel shit after a 40 hour sleep But what if unless I mean 40 wings and they're talking really about blinks,

so it's really 20 blinks. That's what's a 20 hours sleep. So what is a blink if not a double wink? A double wink, that's right. Understood. Yeah. It's good to have you boys together again. Makes sense.

As I'm trying to build drama. Yeah, absolutely. It's terrifying. I just wanna say that you told us. I did, yeah. To be silly off topic because the real topics grip. Yes. And we're trying to follow your instructions. We're sorry. I did give that instruction. I am off the record, gripped on the record making fun.

That's right. It is terrifying. Yeah. So he's woken up few hours later. The tape's around. Yeah. There's a camera mounted on the wall in his living room. This is such a big job. And the fact that they have fucked up Denise and yeah, and he's ex fiance. If that's true or yeah, it's mind games. Yeah. And also, yeah, you're also wondering how much of what they're saying is true. Yeah. Like, maybe they're not really monitoring at all. Yeah, the camera might just be one of those plastic fake ones that someone's put up to put up. The mirroring, maybe they don't even know how to do that.

Maybe it's just a two-person operation and it's all bluff and bluster. Yeah. But you'd be so scared to make any decisions in case you think you're calling a bluff, but really you're endangering Denise's life. Totally. Yeah, I have no idea. Yeah.

You'd have to play a long-distance case. Exactly, yeah. Unless he was some sort of, you know, they didn't realize he's like James Bond and he understands all these things. No, he's just a physical therapist. Not just an important role. Yeah, I thought I was being dismissive. But he isn't a spy. What year are we talking? 2015. It's so recent too. Yeah, it's only a few years ago. So he started to receive text messages and emails from the kidnappers giving instructions of the payments he needed to make in order to release Denise. So that'd be the name of the film. Release Denise. That's good. They would please release Denise.

Yes. No, it's a yes from me. Please. What are you saying? Police or police? I wanted to say. Police, police, release Denise. Yeah. What about that? Is that a good compromise? We say please police, release Denise. No, I think we go please, please. Yes.

Release Denise, police. Oh yeah, no, you're right. You know what I mean? I think Jess is right there. Yeah. Like it's a quote from the police. Oh. Oh, that's good.

Okay. Like the first bits in you know, quotation marks. What? Police. Starring Gary Sineese. Yes! Yeah. And Gary Sweet. Just for a little sweetness. Gary's better for one. A little bit of sweetness than one as well. And Deneese Richards. Oh yeah, go to get Deneese in. And Deneese Scott and D and Denise Ding Dong drives down.

Catering by Weespars. Oh yes. Perfect. Can Rachel Weespien? I miss browns, both of her names. You said Rachel. One of them is not an only other pronounce. Rachel.

The other, I was worried about the second and I failed on the first. Can Rachel Wees? I said right. It's hard to say Rachel wrong. Can Rachel Weas? I said right. It's hard to say Rachel wrong. I was trying to mock you but it's what you did was actually way harder. Rachel. Thank you.

That means a lot actually. It's pronounced Rachel. Sorry, I thought it was Rachel. No, no, it's Rachel. So they want, they're demanding, I've seen a couple of different figures. It was either 15 or $17,000. They're asking. I think they knew he had like 20 grand in savings.

So it's actually quite nice. They weren't like clear the whole thing out. Yeah, but that's not enough for this operation. That's right. It seems like not enough money for the level of effort. You can't disappear over that money for a long time. You probably need to after this kind of crunching. That's a good point and something that comes up later.

If people ask for 15 grand, you're thinking, do you really have a camera on me? Yeah. Yeah. The set you're talking about would cost this sort of money probably. It must have been months of planning. If there's multiple of you and you're splitting it, what are you gonna get? Like, I don't know if there's three of them over five grand each or something.

Yeah. That's not worth it. Doesn't make sense. 15 grand, that's what a camera would cost, isn't it? A camera or a Camry? Oh, no, I'm thinking of a Camry. Camry. 2015 money, though, you gotta remember.

Yeah, true. So that's a different time. Yeah. I think now that would be probably 17 grand grand. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's three yes six H4 yeah okay quick man in today's money. Yeah okay i'm getting out of bed for six grand i yeah i'm walking to the door and saying, thanks for that six grand or wherever. They, I'd even, you know, drive somewhere for it. Would you kidnap a man and a woman?

Uh, you know, if that was the job for six grand, no questions asked. Yeah, I'd do anything for six grand. Anyway, so they're saying, uh, they're making arrangements for Aaron to drop the money off on Tuesday night. So this all happened on a Monday, like wee hours of the Monday. He's now woken up. It's afternoon of the Monday. They're saying tomorrow night, Tuesday night. And if the payment's made, then they'll release Denise Wednesday morning. And Aaron's sort of like, he's mind spinning a bit. He's still like pretty groggy. And he's becoming increasingly worried that he cannot trust these guys.

That they'll actually release Denise or if the plan is to meet. Is a trap and they're gonna take the money and then kill him as well like right they wanted in cash yeah so and so he's allowed to leave the little red square then to go to the bank yeah. where they go to the bank. Yeah. Well, that's when I would go to a pay phone or just wandering to a, you know, some sort of a private dick office. Because they never said anything about dicks. Yeah. They said you can't go to the cops.

That's right. What about a PI? You know what I mean? Yeah. Who can then call the cops? We're in America, I assume. Yeah. Like everyone has a gun there.

You go to a dick. Those dicks have got guns, don't they? Yeah, well, every dick has a gun. You know what I say as a gun? Gun chop. Oh, you just gotta get your own gun. Oh my god. But do you want, why do you want the gun specifically?

Unrelated. Oh yeah, I just thought it'd be cool to have one. I mean, when in America. I think it's pretty easy over there too. So I think you just walk in and get one. Yeah, you could, I mean, you could go to the bank, you could even say to the teller, hey, I'm being robbed. Yeah. Then they call us. Yes. You know, they probably have protocols. There's no way they'd misinterpret that and put an alarm, pull an alarm on you.

What do you mean? You get tackled by security and you're like, no, no, I'm getting robbed. Yeah. And they're like, oh, sorry. Sorry. But they've already tased you. And they're like, what are you talking about? You're not being robbed. You're here asking for money. Yeah. You're doing the robbing. Oh, here they say, I'm being robbed.

And they're like, oh, another person complaining about our fees. All right, we get it. We have to pay for the overhead somehow, OK? We've got a really fancy office here. And we need to pay for that. Makes a lot of money, okay? He draws a large wage. Our lunch is free every day.

You think that just appears? Yeah. You've got to pay for that. I don't even know what's free. I don't think it's that. Is that a firm? Yeah, the banking firm. The banking firm.

Well, do you want to hear what he actually does? Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Because he's aware that they're monitoring his phone, and he knew he couldn't call 911 without potentially endangering Denise's life. So he decided to risk calling his brother, who actually is an FBI special agent. Oh, this is what I'm talking about.

He's a dick. He's like a... But he's not a PD. He's not a private dick. He's like a federal dick. Federal dick. I'm thinking these guys. I don't know. What does a dick mean?

Does anyone know what a dick means? I mean. In this scenario? Maybe you have to ask. Yeah. You don't get it, right? Yeah. OK.

So it's a need to know. I think we found a new podcast virgin. Oh. Doesn't know what a dick is. Yeah, that makes two of us. No, Dave. I hope Ben Queller as well anyway. I am. Is Weller. I'm thinking the first I was really impressed by their operations seemed very professional.

Now I'm thinking they only want a small amount of money comparative to what they want. They've claimed that they've got the wrong woman they've kidnapped and they haven't worked out that his brother is an FBI agent. Yeah, he's not a good target. Yeah, not good. I'm starting to think that it's his brother doing a box-day prank. Jackass. That's a bit of fun. What? But he's saying he's calling his brother from his own phone that he believes to be mirrored?

Yeah, because he reckons that he could like if questioned about it or whatever, he could be like, oh, my brother was supposed to be coming over that morning, that afternoon, I was just calling him to say don't come. But he didn't consider calling from a different phone. But they're watching him anyway. Oh, they are. All the cameras on. Right. But he's allowed to go to the back? No, no, no, he's's like he's still at home. Oh, right. Yeah, he's still at home now

Okay, so I'd get on the way to the bank what I would do is Use any other phone. Yeah to call the brother Okay, that's interesting approach He just uses his phone I mean, that's way more efficient. And I should have thought of that. And maybe like if Denise's phone was still there, just use that. Isn't that the one that didn't they say she had to use her phone? I guess so.

For an e-mail. Or for an e-mail. So not for a phone call. Phones can't do that. So anyway, he calls his brother and yeah, like I said, sort of reckons he can come up with a bit of an excuse as to why he had to call his brother if he's questioned about it. You know, he can make it look kind of innocent. He calls his brother and his brother says, call 911. Call 911.

I'm really busy. You want the full force behind you? Like just call 911. Just do it. Can you call for me? Cause they're mirroring this phone. Yeah. And they said they will kill her if I do this.

And you're in the FBI, so they'll takeing this phone. Yeah. And they said they will kill her if I do this. And you're in the FBI. So they'll take you quite seriously. Any chance you could just take a minute to call them yourself, brother? No. So Aaron calls 9-1-1. This is a that's not a good bro. By this point, it's just before 2 p.m. So Denise was taken around 5 a.m. Shit, they're long gone.

He calls it two o'clock in the afternoon. Police turn up at Aaron's home, begin a bit of their investigation. They're looking around the house for evidence. They're gathering statements from Aaron. And Aaron explains that the night before, the Denise had come over to his place and the two had planned to talk through some issues they were having in their fairly new relationship. Aaron's ex-fiancé, Andrea Andrea also worked at the same hospital as Aaron

and Denise, and Andrea and Aaron had had a pretty messy breakup the year prior due to Andrea's infidelity. The rejection and the heartbreak had been really hard for Aaron, and he and Andrea had been texting a bit recently, which had caused arguments for Aaron and Denise. Essentially that night, they were discussing if their relationship was going to move forward or end. They were at a bit of a crossroads. That's when this happened? Yeah. Oh, wow.

So through the course of the evening, Aaron said that he had apologized for betraying Denise's trust. He promised to go to therapy, cut contact with his ex. Physical therapy? And then... Because I know ago, he would have said. Me. Me.

Or you, whatever. And they basically decided to move forward with their relationship. They resolved their argument. They'd gone to bed and then wake up in the middle of the night to this happening. Lovely. Can I just check something, Bob? Please. Did, you know, when they said, oh, they said to Denise, oh, we thought you

were Janet or whoever. Andrea, Andrea. Was that within earshot of him? Or was that just directly to her? I'm not sure if he was, I think this was when they're in separate rooms. So maybe he didn't know that. I was just wondering if it was for his benefit or not. So it was just for her.

I'm just wondering if she's in it or not. You know what I mean? Denise or Andrea? Either or both. Right. Okay. But probably only one of them. But Denise is in the other room.

Yeah. Cause you're wondering like, who's reported that one of them. But Denise is in the other room. Yeah, because you're wondering, like, who's reported that? So he said, I heard them say, or as Denise later said. And if he was the one, if he heard it, maybe, you know, maybe it was, maybe Denise is in on it, trying to mess, you know, trying to, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what these bras can get up to.

I'm so sorry. I added that out. I didn't feel good as a feminist This is what a feminist looks like, okay. Yeah imperfect and I'm okay. Yeah, sometimes bit of the soj Yeah, okay. Oh feminist are they misogynistic? Yes. Yeah head to toe Day in day out. Yeah nine to five. Yeah. And the hours in between. That's right. Which I think that's what and the hours outside of. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm the biggest misogynistic asshole in the world. Yeah. But am I a feminist? Yes. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. That's right. Okay ladies, so back off. Yeah. Yeah. Good to eyeball the camera for that.

Back off ladies. That's not right. Normally I'm telling women to lean in. So every now and then you just got to say a bit of room. Yeah, you've actually leant in a bit too far. Okay. Okay. Still have personal space. All right. All feminism aside. I still have personal space. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so Aaron told police about the home invasion, about the goggles, about the pre-recorded audio and the headphones. As police continued to question Aaron, they were pretty flabbergasted by the story he was telling. At one point, Aaron recalled that during the home invasion, he said he was shivering

and he asked for a blanket. And one of the men said, oh, I'm sorry, I forgot how cold it is because we're all wearing wetsuits. What the fuck? That's a twist. Which police were like, the fuck? Why? And later-

Was he able to see him before they put the goggles on? They were pretty much lights in the arts. He never really saw anything. Yeah, never saw anything. But did you hear them flip flopping around with flippers on? You know who doesn't know what's appropriate to wear on earth? Aliens? Shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just went to the first clothing store they could find and happened to be Wet Suits or Us. Yeah.

So the detective from Vallejo police who was sort of in charge of this is a man named detective Matt Mustard. Oh my God. That is got to be close to the perfect name. And I'm mad is such a boring name. I'm like there's nothing you could do to Matt to make it great. But if you put a little mustard on it, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Matt must have preferred a mayo, but that's good stuff. He comes up a lot. He thought- Does he have a father? He's a colonel. He, I can neither confirm nor deny. Did your dad was in Cluedo? That would be wild.

What a claim to fame that would be. Yeah, my dad was in a board game. And I wonder he's a detective. Yeah, yeah. You know? That's nice. Anyway, so he- Well, no, that weren't his Yeah, my dad was in a board game. And I wanted to get a detective. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. Anyway, so no, they weren't his footsteps. Was he he was a murder suspect? Not a detective anyway. Sometimes he was the murderer.

That's how that game works. What? It's pretty exciting. Spoilers. So yeah, he said they're wearing wetsuits and Matt mustard. They are on an island. You said that. That's right. And a stupid detail to say. Oh, so sorry. We're wearing wetsuits. I'm my head's a little hot. I'm wearing a blonde wig. Aaron later was sort of like, I guess it kind of does make sense

in terms of not leaving any kind of evidence behind. And also they're on an island and there's only kind of one road in and out. So if something goes a bit pear shaped, can they take to the water? And also when you're diving, I believe you piss in your own wetsuit. So you would be warm. You would be warm. Oh, yes, you don't need to use a toilet. That's right. What?

You piss in a wetsuit. You've never pissed in a wetsuit. Come on. I don't think so. I know you'd spewed in a wetsuit multiple times on. I don't think so. Live a little. I knew you'd spewed in a wetsuit multiple times, Bob. I didn't know you were pissing. Jokes, I knew you wasn't wearing a wetsuit those times. Was just in my togs and a life jacket. No, it is coming out from all ends for you, isn't it?

It was when you scuba dive. It wasn't good. I'm not allowed in the water now. Anyway, so Matt Mustard, he's that wetsuit. He is Aaron's story. And he is like, this is absurd. And more and more and more believed that Aaron wasn't a victim, but a suspect. Oh, my gosh.

He's like, this story doesn't make any sense. Right. So they question neighbors of Aaron's. As a feminist, I went straight to thinking the women had done it, because, you know, as a feminist, I'm drawn to the women. Right. So they question neighbors of errands. No one feminists. I went straight to thinking the women had done it because you know, as a feminist, I'm drawn to the women. Statistically, who is likely to do it. But you want to believe that they, they're capable of.

Yeah, that's what I think. Uh, a woman could be a criminal and should be and should be. Yeah. If they want women should be criminals. They have agency as far as I'm concerned. So they question the neighbors. They're looking around the house. You see them group of guys with in wet suits carrying blackout goggles.

Nobody reports seeing or hearing anything that night. And so they're like, how does Denise just disappear without anyone hearing or saying anything? How does that happen? And why is he following these rules? He probably isn't. He's told this story. What rules?

The rules about the tape and the mobile phone. Why would he be following those rules if he was in on it? But I guess we're only taking his word for it that he did follow those rules. Yeah, I guess so. And the fact that he called his brother, maybe that was just him trying to create some sort of alibi or whatever. Who knows?

Why would I have called my brother if I was in? My question is why would he do it? Because the aim is to drain his bank account. He's already got that money. Or is the aim for him to be the hero to his girlfriend? Or something like stupid like that? If you know one of those movies where people are really stupid. Yeah.

Or you did say it's grim. Maybe it's because she gets murdered and then you can say, oh, it was a robbery. You're going wrong. Something like that. Oh my God, that is grim. And that's kind of where Matt Mustard is leaning. Okay. So this is verbatim.

Um, the, the documentary American nightmare, uhmare came out on Netflix only just in January. And it has like some of the actual interview footage. So this is verbatim from Matt Mustard to Aaron Quinn. I'm going to be honest with you. Your story is very elaborate and in some ways far fetched in my mind. I'm here to find the truth. I'm a puzzle maker. I put a lot of puzzles together. I don't think she was kidnapped. You're not a puzzle solver. Puzzle maker. Being the puzzle maker.

But when you think about it, he is making the puzzle. Yeah. You know? Because at first I was like, you fucking idiot. And he also keeps saying in relationship to this and I'm like, no, that's not, that's not how it's in relation, in relationship to this. I'm like, okay, well, you're an idiot. Allegedly. Just saying allegedly because he's still alive in an active police officer. Yeah. Well, no, I think that's a place where you're going to be soon. But I think, I think language is fluid. Yes. And I think the way we speak is the way the language is.

Beautiful. I don't think you can't say that's not how you talk when someone is talking like that. Exactly. One woman's physiotherapist is another woman's physical therapist. Yeah. Wow. We think. We think. We think.

At least they do similar things, I reckon. Anyway, this is what, this goes for a while. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. And this is still in relationship to the story? Still in relationship to the story. I don't think she was kidnapped from your home. I think something bad happened in your house and it happened between you and her.

Do you think people kidnap people for $20,000? They don't. Dave, you were saying that. You're like, that's too little money. And they're wearing what? Did they swim in wearing their wetsuits? I mean, come on, man. It doesn't make any fricking sense. So now I get out my puzzle pieces and I start figuring it out.

Okay? How do I make it so that you look like a monster? Then it continues. Whoa! Maybe she overdoses. Are you playing with prescription drugs from work? It's okay if you are. And you take too much and she overdoses and you're like, oh shit, what am I gonna do?

I can see that happening too. And then he tells him there's blood in your house. I don't know if it's hers yet, but I'm gonna presume that it is. I'm gonna presume that she wasn't alive and kicking when she left the house. And then it is another quote. Maybe you called Andrea's name out during sex and she got pissed and you carted her out of there. And then Aaron says, I did not do that. And Detective Mustard says, yeah, you did. What? Yeah, you did. So he's like, this is what happened.

Yeah. It's really. He's fucking mulling it. He is a puzzle maker. He's making up bits and forcing him together. Yeah. That's what happened. Yeah. But it's so funny that the first thing he said that didn't happen. He's like, no, that did happen.

I would have been like, oh, wait, so did the other thing happen? Yeah. Because you said another whole thing and you didn't say anything to that. And it must be that there's part of like interrogation techniques where you do kind of push them, push them, push them in the hope that they crack and reveal something. So a part of me is like, OK, maybe he's doing that, but it's it's really uncomfortable. He's not a puzzle maker.

He's a frazzle maker. Yeah. He's frazzling this guy. He's giving the full phrase. He's got the full phrase. Maybe that's the name of this movie. Full's giving the full frass. He's got the full frass. Maybe that's the name of this movie. Full frass. The full frass with Matt Mustard. They've also, they've taken Aaron in and they've like given him,

I think they took his clothes to sort of test for stuff. So they've just given him like prison clothes. And they sort of start by being like, sorry, man, it's just all we have. But really, they are treating him like a suspect. And he's there for so long. It's hard to treat you with respect when you're wearing that outfit. Yeah, yeah. I see those stripy pants and I'm like, it's crook.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry we had to put the ball and chain on you, but it's like there's a one size fits all. You have that part of the costume, you have to take it all. Yeah, sorry. You understand. You get it. So he ends up like Aaron's sitting there like like why are you questioning me?

Like go be looking for the, for Andrew, for not Andrea, for Denise. Exactly. Got him. Got him. So the wrong name. So the wrong name out loud. Just like he drinks sex. Yeah. And that's why he killed her.

So he, Aaron agrees to a lie detector test, a polygraph. This is 2015 when they've well and truly been defunct, right? Yeah. De-bunked even. Have they? Are they bullshit? defunct, right? Yeah. Debunked even. Have they? Are they bullshit? Yeah. Oh, that's fun.

Um, and this, the, the polygraph happens at about 4 30 in the morning on the Tuesday. It's so late. It's, you know, it's, he's been in the police station for so long. At the conclusion of the test, FBI special agent, Peter French, sits down opposite Aaron and says, right, Aaron, there's no question in my mind that you have absolutely failed this test. And he continues to like interrogate. He does the same sort of thing as Mustard did of just like telling Aaron what happened. French and mustard. What a combo.

Yeah. French mustard. Dijon. That's what that could be the Dijon boys. That's nice. Yeah, that's nice. That's a cute team. Do you think like, because you know how in its day of report and you and I, we're the sas twins, do you think you guys could be the Dijon boys? Can we be the Dijon boys? Yeah. I like that. That's cute. Adding a little flavor. My little Dijon boys. Little extra something. Anyway, so they anyway so they he said you failed you failed

this but do you want to fail a lie detector test we've failed to detect any lies oh you don't want to pass a lie detector do you I guess you do because like because they'd be like did you kill Denise and you say no and it says you're telling the truth it would be really fun if he got him on that would That would be good. I know like, he might be right there. Huh. Huh. He failed the lie detector test. So after more interrogation, and again,

he's been there for like 18 hours, Aaron's like, I need a lawyer. Like what the fuck? Like he's gone in thinking he's gonna be giving a statement to help them find the people that have taken Denise. And now he's being questioned and interrogated. So he's like, I need a lawyer. Oh my God. For anyone out there, as soon as you go in, you need a lawyer straight away. Is that right? Even when you just go into like file a police report or something? Well, as soon as they're bringing out a lie detector, you should talk to some representation.

What are the rules here? Should we just ask for lawyers? Probably. Straight away. Okay. Well, that's, isn't that, where do you think for lawyers? Probably. Straight away. Okay. Well, that's not, who do you think this is? That's why he's here. I thought that was court men, don't you? Oh, no. Do you want to, I'll give him a microphone to speak up.

Hello, I'm Sean. I'm from the firm. I've just quietly taken notes, continue incriminating yourselves over there. Thank you, Sha- Wait, wait, wait. What? I'm not, wait, you're here, I criminating yourselves over there. Thank you. Should wait. Wait, wait, wait. What? I'm not. Wait, you're here.

I thought you were here with me. Uh, no comment. God, these sneaky lawyers. Jesus. Good. I'm Sean. Yes. No, we got that Sean.

Turn his mic off, Dave. Fuck it now. Let us slide that down. Sorry, Sean. No offense. Leave it to the pros, mate. Falls across. Anyway, so, so.

I like his catchphrase. I'm a Sean. I'm a Sean Sean I'm a Sean I'm a Sean. I have the A. So you can be a Sean by me Sean. Case a Sean. Quarter Sean. This sitcom is writing itself. The D's on boys and Sean. Sean of the D's on boys. So Dan Rus, a defense attorney arrives at the station early the next morning. He sees Aaron, pale and puffy-eyed. He tells police that Aaron has complied in giving the lie detector test. He's given DNA samples.

If they don't plan to arrest him, then he's leaving. Aaron's going to be leaving with Dan right now. So Dan gets him out of there, takes him to his office, gets Aaron to recount the story of what's happened again, tells the story a couple of times. And Dan said in the documentary, in my heart, I believed him, but there's no one in North America who's going to believe this story because it's bonkers. It makes no sense.

It's wild. But if it is true and I want to believe, how awful would that be that you're being locked up? But they're not going out looking for it. They're telling you that you did it. And you don't know. That would be a real American nightmare. Just not having them believe you said the name of the... Yeah.

So that you remember? We can't remember a person's name. Anyway, yeah, go on. What? Racial. It's the full fugitive style. I didn't kill my wife. Yeah.

But, and yeah, I... The longer it goes on, he's behaving to me like an innocent man. Yeah. Um, but yeah, but also like I would sort of be thinking if I was the cops like, okay, well then let's look for evidence and if we can't find anything that backs up what he said, then that is more incriminating to him. Or we find evidence that does back up what he says and we follow that evidence. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'd be working as hard to prove him wrong. You can maybe split into two teams.

One trying to prove him right. One trying to prove him wrong. Well, yeah, just have one team leaving the police building. Yeah. Yeah, to look to look for a missing lady. Yeah. So there is a missing lady either way. Yes.

But yeah, it's very confusing. The blood that they found made me think, oh, shit. But I mean, there could be blood from when they abducted her. Yeah. Like, it's not clear where the blood could be from. Yeah, yes. This is not good police work, I don't think. Oh, that's an interesting observation.

I think they might be doing this poorly. Well, let's find out. Okay. Because 31 hours since Denise went missing on the Tuesday afternoon, San Francisco Chronicle Crime Reporter Henry Lee receives an email with subject line, Denise. Attached is an audio file email with the subject line, Denise. Attached is an audio file and a woman's voice says, hi, my name is Denise Huskins. I'm kidnapped, otherwise I'm fine. Oh, wow. That's good news.

The message mentions a news event from that day, as proof of this was recorded very recently, and personal details to confirm that it's really Denise. Like she says, like my first concert was Blink 182. Oh my God, me too, Denise. Really, there you go. Wow, okay. Does she actually say that?

Yes. Did she actually say that? Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Me and Denise, though. Just so I can fake kidnapping you, what would you, Matt would say Blink 182,

what would you say? I don't know, my first concert was, I think it was, um, do you remember the gigs that would put out there were Coke live and local. It was supported by Coca Cola. And it was like a bunch of bands, like the living end performed at one. Think I might have seen the Veronica's at one of them. That's pretty fun. Nice.

Um, one some 41. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. My 13th birthday. 13. That's sweet. My sister took me. That's right. A legend. That's really cute. I think I was 14. Late bloomer. So embarrassing for you. So the crime reporter, Henry, he forwards the email and the audio file

to the Vallejo PD. The clip is played for Denise's parents and for Aaron, who all confirmed that the woman speaking is definitely Denise. So she's alive, or at least was today. That's awesome news. It is great news. Her family, who were relieved to have have even more hope that Denise was alive and well, were then confused as to why Detective Mustard turned his questioning of them to Denise's character. How many boyfriends had she had? Oh my God. How long has she been in those relationships? Was she a big drinker? Did she party?

That sort of thing. It became pretty clear to Aaron's attorney that the police line of questioning had taken a turn and moved from accusing Aaron of murder to suggesting Denise was behind the whole thing. So they've gone, okay, well, she's alive. So he didn't murder her. So she's behind it. Anything but certainly no kidnappings happen in this town.

Even though she just said, I'm kidnapped. Without a twist. He's a puzzle maker. He's making these puzzles. Hey, man, we got a round block here. We want to put it through that round circle. He's gonna, I'm gonna freaking shove it through that triangle. I'm gonna shove it through that triangle right now. Shave it down. I'm gonna jam it in. Get me a planer. Get me a plane.

No, no, no, I don't wanna fly. I wanna take a bit of the off of this wooden block and that, you know, they're so incompetent. He's all of a sudden, he's flying somewhere. And he's like, this is what I wanted. It's nice. It's nice. It's like we'll have a champagne. somewhere. And he's like, this is what I wanted. It's nice. It's not. It's not the eye.

Yes, I will have a champagne. Yes. But it's not what I'm trying to do. But when I get back up for this short two to three week break. I'm going to need a plane. OK, so then in a very bizarre twist, a very strange turn of events. It's already so bizarre. I love it. It's amazing. On Wednesday morning, 25th of March, Denise Huskins reappears.

What? She turns up. I get her style. She turns up on her dad's doorstep at around 9am in Huntington Beach, which is 400 miles or 640 k's from where she'd been taken. How far, sorry? 640 k's. Wow.

Wow, that's quite a distance. You're 100 miles? Not on an island anymore? No, it's just a small island. It's like a neighborhood of Vallejo in California. Right, right. So this is Huntington Beach, 400 miles away. What the fuck had happened in the last 48 hours? But that night, about 9 p.m., 12 hours after she reappears,

Vallejo Police hold a press conference. Now keep in mind they haven't spoken to Denise yet, a Huntington Beach officer, like briefly interviewed her, but that was it. The Vallejo officer says in the press conference that while Denise had initially agreed to cooperate, they hadn't heard from her since. And furthermore, Aaron Quinn's story had been so elaborate and crazy that they'd had a pretty hard time believing him and had not been able to substantiate any of his claims about the events of March 23rd. At this stage, he said, Aaron Quinn and Denise Huskins have plundered valuable resources from the community.

What? So the press have an absolute field date. They begin reporting that the kidnapping was probably a hoax orchestrated by Denise herself all with the help of Aaron Quinn and if true both Aaron and Denise could face state and federal charges. What would the point of that been if they were both in on it? Yeah. What would the point have been? Well Dave interestingly just mentioned a certain film. Yeah. Give me back my wife. No that's fugitive. I'm mixing up Ransom where he says, give me back my son. Yeah.

With the fugitive where he says, I didn't kill my wife. He loves to yell about his family, that guy. Yeah, and I mean, they were two different guys, but still. Yeah. Is that not the same actor? Well, the other one was Mel Meninga. No, Mel Brooks Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson.

Yeah, because I could just imagine Harrison saying both, I think. So the film I would refer to. Gone Girl. Gone Girl. Had come out the year before. Okay. And for anybody who hasn't seen it. Oh, sorry. Gone Girl is a film about a woman who discovers her husband's cheating.

Should we just say a bit of a spoiler here? Spoiler. I mean, I think by saying anybody who hasn't seen it, spoiler alert. Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. I just remembered- I just remembered- I just remembered- I was recording once on this show and I felt bad about it. Oh yeah, spoiler alert. I remember, because it was quite a well-loved film,

but I remember going to see and hating it. It was pretty full on. Oh, okay. Yeah. I just thought it was bad. Oh, okay. I think I found it a bit intense. But I can't remember anything about it.

Well, except the bit where he covered up his chin and that was like some sort of sign of love or something. Do you remember that Ben Affleck? Oh, no. So I want to do this. It means I'm telling the truth. Something like that. Oh, anyway, I really don't remember anything about it. I don't remember that.

Ben Affleck was in it. Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike got an Oscar nomination for it. She was good. She was great. So it was good. What? Maybe I just got out of the bedroom. Hang on.

Now we're out of the statute of limitations of the spoiler alert. If people have skipped it. Oh, yeah. The spoiler is still going. A woman discovers her husband is cheating, plans and executes an elaborate faking of her own death and frames her murder on her husband. Right. So the media is calling it the gong girl case. They are immediately just going, this is just like that movie. Right. Because the spoiler, this is a serious spoiler.

She comes back and is I'm alive and does a press conference. The thing that sounds like they're like they're jumping to conclusions here. That they have no evidence for. That seems weird. That the why would they be doing that? I can't we trust the fourth estate? You know what I mean? Are they there to hold up a mirror?

Is that what they do? I zoned out for a bit to be honest. Well, you're a journalist. Yes. You tell us. What's the job of the journalists? US media is different. Oh, okay.

You didn't study US media? No, I think I was specifically sort of training to work in the Australian media. Oh, okay. That's a nice thing. Well, nothing ever bad happens in the Australian media. Nothing. Yeah, no, we're great. Always are very ethical. But it does also seem like subjudice is a bit more, um,

taken a bit more seriously here. Uh, and over there they just speculate wildly. Yeah. For a bit of fun. What about above judice? Above judice, that's fine. Yeah, okay. That's fine.

Before the court. So, so you can't be reporting facts that haven't been... Essentially, if you're reporting facts, well, I'm saying facts in quotation marks there, or theories about something before it's even gone to court. Does that only count if it's a criminal case, which at the moment doesn't sound like there is one? No one has been arrested or anything because it's like, no one knows what happened. But Denise and Aaron could be charged with a few different crimes.

And they're alleging crimes to media basically. They're alleging crimes, which means then when they do, if they do eventually go to court, the members of the public that would make up the jury have already been fed all of these theories and all of these- True. Don't they sometimes just withdraw those articles and say, well, now it's a criminal case. Sorry, we can't speculate. Yeah. Yeah, they go back and they go, did you have,

did you have the edition of the Sunday Times? We gotta write that out. Oh, I'm not saying Australia doesn't do it. I'm just saying it's not really, you're not supposed to. You're supposed to have an impartial jury. Anyway, so at this stage, we're going, okay, Denise is behind it. Is Andrea behind it? Is Aaron behind it? What has happened? Yeah.

Has Matt mustard the puzzle maker? Did he make this? It sounds like a puzzle that's been made to me. Yeah. He did he make a case to try and solve it? Maybe. I'm thinking it's mustard. Where are you guys sitting at the moment?

How are you feeling? Mustard in the library with the candle stick. You also think aliens. So yeah, I think it must as an alien. Dave, what are you feeling? Mustard in the library with the candlestick. You think mustard. You also think aliens. So that's got those two theories. Yeah, I think mustard and alien. Dave, what are you feeling with all this? I'm not sure. I feel like I don't want to. Dave's worried he's going to guess it correct and ruin the whole episode. No, no, I'm thinking it's more likely to maybe be Denise because like con girl, there's an objective. In this case, maybe it's money. Then it obviously hasn't worked out because

he has called the cops and panicked and then they've sort of seen through it. So then because of that, she's had to come back and say, oh, I'm actually, I'm fine. Does that make sense? I can't see the reason that he would make up this case because the only thing that he had to gain was money. And the only thing was money already had and also she's not dead. So what did he have to gain?

If she was dead, you would go, okay, I can see where he's made this up. Yes, an elaborate cover of that. That's right. He's protecting himself. Yeah. Yeah. So look, it's kind of all over the place. So let's rewind a little and hear the story from Denise's perspective.

Oh, love it. So the night of the home invasion, they tell Denise, we're going to take you, but they say we're going to bring you back in 48 hours. They tell Denise, we're going to take you. But they say, we're going to bring you back in 48 hours. They're very upfront. She's placed in the trunk of Aaron's car. And it's kind of a weird, it's a very weird experience because like these guys that are kidnapping her are obviously doing something horrendous and really, really scary. But then at times like being quite considerate, like they've grabbed a comforter off a bed or they had a comforter in the car to like make the trunk more comfortable for her.

What's a comforter? Like the doona. Oh, right. Is it hard for her to understand them because they've got snorkels in their mouths? It is hard. Do you want me to go here for you? Oh, all right. I've made the trunk very cocky for you.

Yeah, so she's placing the trunk in her car. Right, but they're being nice. That's good. She's driven for a little while. Well, no, it's not. She's driven for a little while before the car stops, and she's taken out of Aaron's car and put into the trunk of a different car.

So Aaron's car's kind of dumped. Now, remember, they were both sort of given this sleeping potion stuff. They've both been sedated. She's trying to stay awake, but she's groggy and terrified. She's trying to pay attention to how long the drive is and where they're turning just to like have some sort of idea. But obviously it's so hard without being up a sea and you don't know. Here's the engine of the new car and it had this deep rev and it reminded her of a Mustang.

She's like, what are we in? They drove for hours. I think she fell asleep for a part of it. Eventually, she's taken out of the trunk and she can sort of tell it's the early hours of the morning. She's still got the goggles on, but she can sort of feel or sense a bit of the light. She's like, okay, it's daylight. see a bit of the light. So she's like, okay, it's daylight. She can smell pine trees. She could feel the sun. And then she's she's taken inside a house. And I'm not going to go into heaps of heaps of detail about Denise's experience only because it is pretty harrowing and scary and recent and aware that this is a comedy podcast. Right.

So they do not treat it. I talk about it a little bit, but I'm not. Okay. I'm just going to sort of, I'm brushing over it a little bit and I didn't want people to be like, you brushed over it. I've done that on purpose because of the tone of this podcast. So we're also very quickly assuming she doesn't have anything to do with this. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's important to the story. If you want to hear her detailed account, which I mean, she's shared it on podcasts and on this documentary very fucking courageously and very cool. So you can watch American Nightmare if you want. I feel bad saying that it's gonna be in there.

But that's the point. That's the whole point. And that's exactly what I wanted you to feel at that point in the report because- Manipulated me, thank you so much. Yeah, I'm very sneaky. Because- That's a good story telling, Dave. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, I'm very sneaky. That's a good story telling Dave. Don't hold it against Jess and she tells a good story. I would never hold a puzzle against a puzzle maker.

Well done. I'm a puzzle maker. I have a journalism degree. I puzzle. No, yeah, because like it is confusing and the documentary is also sort of set up that way too, where at first you're kind of like, fucking Aaron, you absolute dog. You think Denise is dead. And then at the end of the first episode,

you see Denise and you're like, okay, she's not dead. Well, what's happening? So it is a bit all over the place. But anyway, she's taken to this house. Taking, another film. Another good title for this film. Give me back my daughter. Do you say that?

I have a very specific set of skills. I will find you. That was contrary, I don't know why. I mean, it's closer. Yeah. Closer than what I did, which was today was Harrison Ford twice. Not Mel Meninga. I can't believe.

Mel Meninga. Mal Brooks, Mel Brooks even. Didn't even get his first name right. Mel Gibson. Gibson. Did I say that? No. You said Brooks.

Oh my God. Yeah. First he said Mel Meninga. Who's Mel Meninga? Rugby League player. Yeah. Queenslander. Briefly had a political career. Ah. He's yeah, very funny, famous footage of him

in the same press conference he announced he was running for parliament. He also quit. And it's like, honestly, it was like a two minutes in, he goes, oh no. I'm sorry, I can't do this. And he pulls his mic off and he goes,. And it's like, honestly, it's like a two minutes in, he goes, oh no. I'm sorry, I can't do this. And he pulls his mic up and he goes, I'm stopped and I can't do this. And he gets up and walks out.

Incredible video. That's good stuff. But like, I think, you know, he's like an immortal in Vince or whatever they have there. Yeah. He's like very, but the thing that I know about him is that he did that press conference. That's good stuff. And you don't hear that on many true crime podcasts. And that's what sets us apart.

Yeah, it's that during a really tense moment. We'll just go off on a tangent and that's what we're good at. So anyway, she's in the house and while they're in the house, it seems like it's just Denise and one of the kidnappers and he locks her in a bedroom and at one stage tells her this wasn't meant for you. This was meant for Andrea. He tells her that again and she's also kind of like the fuck like what's that? Yeah, why are you telling me this? He tells her that he's part of a black market company that kidnaps people for money. Throughout, you know, their interactions, he reveals that these guys are ex-military. He tells her that Aaron's been given instructions on what to do and the plan is to release her in 48 hours.

And she wants to believe that's true, but how can you trust that your life is safe at the hands of people who just kidnapped you? So she's like, okay, well, that all sounds good, but at no stages that actually make her relax. You're like, all right, cool. Well, I'll just put up with, I'll just snooze for 48 hours and then I'll go home. Great.

And like I was saying- Where's the tally? Yeah, can I, so TV in here? You got Netflix? What's sort of, what's for lunch? Little hungry, just been in a trunk for a while. Like I was saying before, their interactions were sort of strangely polite. He was kind of like, yeah, kind of nice to her.

And then it almost seems like, I don't know, apologetic, but in a way, that's more unnerving than if he was aggressive or or threatening. Like it's kind of you you're sort of like, oh, what are you manipulating me? What's going on here? More than 24 hours after a kidnapping, the man at the house tells her that his company has lost contact with Aaron.

So we know that Aaron was at the police station. His associates are on their way and as part of their protocol, she'll have to have more sedatives before they arrive and he says, don't engage with them. Just pretend to be asleep. They're not as nice as me, which again, it's just a weird thing to say. So a car approaches, she hears multiple voices in the house. This is when they decide that they need to record a proof of life, that audio that we

heard that proves that she's alive and it's current. And the other slave, it's just her and one of the kidnappers in the house again. And it's a really psychologically confusing and challenging time and a bit of a content warning here. And again, I'm brushing right over it. He's being really nice to her and acting like he's trying to help. And then on the flip side, she is sexually assaulted twice in the time that she's held in the house. Jesus.

And then later, he shows her a video of her father speaking to the press saying, like, if she sees this, just know the family's here, be strong. As if he's trying to, like, encourage her or make her feel better or give her comfort. And she's just like, what the fuck is this? She talks about it feeling like a long game to just break her. And she's so confused and she's just like, what the fuck is this? She talks about it feeling like a long game to just break her and she's so confused and she's so angry. So it's awful what happens. But then in the early hours of Wednesday morning, he tells her it's time to go. There's this other team as well. Yeah, where the fuck are they?

And all these, like, I mean, is it just this one guy pretending there's way more? Because 20 grand or 15 grand or whatever it was It's making less and less sense. Yeah as well. How can that be the motivation for this? Yeah, it's all none of it adds up No, it doesn't make yeah It's still in a wetsuit unless they're being paid by somebody else to do this and the Ransom is just like I don't know, something. A cover. Yeah. Yeah. But what's in it for them?

Yeah. Like, yeah, I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. But did she ever see the other team? No. She heard them. Okay. But he's the only one that I think comes into the room.

So yeah, he's like, it's time to go. He says, I can't drop you off in the Bay Area. There's too many cops looking for you because, you know, Aaron went to the cops, said not who. So he's like, I'm went to the cops, said not to. So he's like, I'm going to take you directed to your family. And no doubt she's like, is he, or is he going to take me somewhere and kill me? Like what the fuck is happening?

Again, she's sedated, she's putting the car goggles on, she falls asleep, she's shaken awake hours later. And she, all she can make out through the tiny gaps in the goggles are glimpses of the car's white exterior but she can't see the guy she doesn't know anything. Has she ever seen him or she always had the goggles on? Always had the goggles on. I mean, could all the motivation just be that he's like a rapist and he's, you know, this is all what?

Yeah, what is it? Exactly. It's so confusing and really strange and an awful, awful thing. And for a lot of it, it just continues to get shit, but then it gets better. So just, you know, remember, just hang in there. It's okay. And we only know this has happened because Denise is alive. So, you know, that's nice, isn't it? Yes. I put this up for the vote. I'd just watched the documentary when it first came out and I was like, yeah, that's a really

interesting story. Yeah, great. It's really gripping. And then as I started writing it, I was like, we are a comedy podcast. Hey, we've covered some grim ones. Yeah, that's true. Remember the fart at the year it all before that saved it? Everything's fine.

It is. I mean, it's, I mean, as grim as it is, it's true. Remember the fight at the Eurodoll before that saved it? Everything's fine. It is. I mean, it's, I mean, as grim as it is, it's super fascinating. It's really fascinating. I had no idea what's happened. Yeah. And you do feel like that up to this point for sure. So he says, look, Aaron's gone to the police. So at some point you're going to have to talk to them.

There's two things you can't tell them. You can't tell them that any of us were in the military and you can't tell them about the sexual assault. And he says, we're going to be watching you. So if we find out you say anything, we'll come after you and your family. So then she's still, all right. So he gets her out of the car, tells her to keep the goggles on after the car drives off, take him off once you've counted to 10, you know, like just make sure he's out of sight. So she hears the car drive away, counts to 10, takes the goggles off and she's free. And she realizes she's been dropped off just around the corner from her father's house. And her father's not there because he'd gone to Vallejo as soon as he was told that she'd been kidnapped.

So a neighbor took her into the home and called the police. A local detective turns up, he interviews her a little bit before saying that he's got a Vallejo detective on the phone. And essentially they're kind of like offering her immunity. And she's like, immunity from what? Because she has no idea what's been happening in the time that she's been gone. The media frenzy, the accusations, the press coverage referring to her old deal as a kidnapping hoax. And she doesn't want to lie to police, but she's scared of saying the wrong thing or accusations, the press coverage referring to her ordeal as a kidnapping hoax.

And she doesn't want to lie to police, but she's scared of saying the wrong thing or saying too much and putting her family's lives in danger. So eventually she also gets an attorney who advises her not to make any further statements to the police, because if she says any small thing that contradicts what she's already told them, they'll use that against her. Yeah, because they've already made their mind up sort of. Yeah, yeah. Is it possible to request a new police force? Yeah. Can we get a new force? For the world. Yeah, sometimes they request a new jury, a new judge. Yeah. Maybe we just get a new force. I'm not vibing with these police. Could I use a different police? They're doing an awful job.

Yeah. Can we get a new set? Can we just go somewhere else? And it's funny, Matt, because- This crime happened over a long range of area. Could we get the force from one of the other ones? You are really hitting something. So anyway, she's following that advice. She's trying not to say any of the wrong things. She's trying to get back to Vallejo as quickly as possible to speak to the police and to her lawyer who's there. And the media have a field day reporting that she's now refusing to speak to police, which she isn't. And that her behavior towards the media is very suspicious.

And this is the behavior. This is the behavior. This is the behavior. She's wearing hoodie and she's avoiding the many, many press parked outside her dad's house. That screams guilty to me. That sucks as... She's a real piece of work. I actually was starting to believe her.

Yeah. But she's wearing a hoodie? Yeah. And she's like trying to stay away from press after just going through a traumatic ordeal? I wear hoodies when it's cold and I am guilty. Yeah, we know, mate. Hence your lawyers here. You're not allowed to be in the room with us.

Can you turn up Sean's mug? I just wanted to check up and say anything wrong. Hello, it's Sean. Yes? Yeah, so just remembering what I sound like. My client is doing a great job on this podcast. Okay, thank you so much, Sean. In your legal opinion.

I'm also a big fan. Okay. Of Matt. Can we get a new lawyer? Can we? He's really grown on me. Yeah, because he's a fan of yours. Anyway, so the Thursday morning. Thanks, Sean. Sorry.

Yes. I'm doing this job pro bono. And also for free. I love you too. Bit of a thought was a comedy that I'm trying to a joke there. That's not bad. Thank you so much, Sean. You can use that. Thanks for shipping. I can have that. Thanks for chipping. I can have that?

Absolutely. I will edit you out of saying that. Oh my God. I'm doing, I'm making puzzles and you form the sentences. Turn Sean's mic down Dave. Yeah. Fuck off Sean. No offense.

Fuck off. On Thursday morning, so 24 hours after she was released, Denise goes to Vallejo police station to give a statement. And again, she's walking in there like, I'm going to tell them every single thing I know so that they can track these people down. You know, because I paid attention to stuff. I remember details. I'm going to tell them. And she goes in, she gives her statement. Detective Matt Mustard conducts the interview and FBI agent is there as well. His name is David Sesma and her lawyer and stuff for their two and once again detective master is interested in details of Aaron and Denise's relationship.

What if I want to prove he's this guy is no good. Yeah gets her to detail the events of the home invasion what happened after she was taken from Aaron's home she gives as much detail as she can about the length of the drives. She gives as much detail as she can about the lengths of the drives. You know, everything she remembers that she tells them. Their form military, she listed a couple of different things that this kidnapper had sort of revealed through conversation. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a size I am. What name was he yelling out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are you in your cycle?

Yeah. Just so Yeah. Where are you in your cycle? Yeah. Just so, so weird. She's hoping it can give them an idea of sort of like a radius of area to look, you know? Yes. Good on her. Her lawyer in the doco says like he thought police were believing her, they're listening to her. But then he noticed again, their questions moved to accusations. Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you fight back? All that sort of stuff?

Like, didn't you? Did you make any noise as you left the house? Why not? Because they told me I couldn't or they'd kill me. Yeah, and I was heavily sedated and terrified. I was blindfolded. I didn't know what was going on. Denise's lawyer and Aaron's lawyer, they agree that the couple should not speak to each other until the interrogations are over to avoid police being able to claim they conspired together to make sure their stories match. But here's the thing, they hadn't spoken to each other until the interrogations are over to avoid police being able to claim they conspired together to make sure their stories match. But here's the thing, they hadn't spoken to each other and their stories do match.

The details match. Wow. The wetsuits. Anyone would feel like that's a good sign. Yeah, they both knew about the wetsuits. Anyway, so the next day. That makes it feel like specific sort of military as well. Yeah.

Maybe they're, you know, they're divers. Yeah. You know what they're called you know, they're. Divers. Yeah. You know what they're called? Navy Seals. Yeah, yep, yep. Maybe they were just seals. Just seals.

Serving in the Navy. They were. Roof seal. Yeah. Oh my God, roof. That's how they got in. When your roof is getting lost between the like it and the moss and your mortar isn't where it ought to be.

Give it back that old appear with a visit from Rufseil 1800 770. Roof Roof. I can never, I remember Jingles but never the phone number, which is probably the main thing they want me to remember. Oh and the very thing. Not the whole thing, just like just the pop. 1800 770. It's definitely 7700, 7-0. But I don't know, the middle part, middle part,

the middle part, are you looking it up Dave? 1-300-36-7-0, 7-0. 7-0, 7-0. So yeah, if. 1-300-36-7-0, 7-0. If any of the listeners out there do have the problem where their roof is getting lost between the locket and the moss. And their mortar isn't where it on.

I'd probably get a free roof inspection. Should we invoice them for this? Yeah, I think you can do that. I think you can do that. She gave you an ad. We did an ad on spec. Here's what it all cost. Oh, we'll take it out.

Has it been published? Yes. Yes, we'll clip it out. We'll clip it out. We're petty bitches. We'll bleep it out. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, ble bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep People tell the same story. Matt Murdock is a fuckhead. Mustard. Mustard.

Who's Matt Murdock? Another rugby player. Matt Murdock. Is that Daredevil? Yeah, probably. Oh, Ben Asleck again. Just to be clear as well, Matt Mustard is in your opinion. Oh, allegedly.

Well, bleep that out. I saved it. No, I saved it. But based on what we've heard here today, based on what you've seen in the documentary. A review of this documentary. Exactly. He does sound like he is like a bit of an asshole and super incompetent and he just cannot let his biases go in my opinion. And allegedly the fact that he calls himself a puzzle maker is such a stupid fucker.

Yeah. maker as we such a stupid fuck yeah I mean it felt like that when you said it start but I'm like you know this guy could maybe he solves the puzzle and I gotta say cuz if you're watching a movie and then someone comes in says I consider myself a puzzle maker yeah I'd be like this yeah like that character's been written as a douche bag yeah, piece of shit, and this is just a real life. I'm like yeah. He's like a Poirotop. Yeah, but a joke. Yeah Clearly not good. Yeah puzzle solver is what surely what he surely Yeah, it's embarrassing your picture in him. I'm sure he left the interrogation room went Oh my god, it's on tape too. It's so much. I hope that never comes down to bite me in the arms.

Yeah, hopefully it's never on a documentary or a comedy podcast. Hopefully I'm not wrong about this case. Multiple times. The next day Denise is once again taken into interrogation room, more questioning, and told that there are a lot of inconsistencies in her story, and she's reminded that it's a federal offence to light up an officer, so if she wants to change any details of the story, now is the time. And in the American Nightmare documentary, her lawyer recalls taking the FBI officer outside.

He's taking the side and says, killing him. Wow. He would mix that up and go. That feels, you know, normally I'm not for killing, but yeah. I'm getting pretty frustrated. Can I imagine what the lawyer was going through? And in the end, isn't that who we really? Right Sean don't do this my

So everybody says to him there haven't been any discrepancies in her story How can you possibly say she's lying and the FBI agent says haven't you seen gone girl? Oh? An FBI agent whose job it is to solve crimes and investigate is going, this is like the movie. That is. Isn't that embarrassing? So embarrassing. And then the lawyer's like, that's confirmation bias.

Yeah. Like, I don't say that to a lawyer. You fucking idiot. Yeah, crazy. Like the whole the whole time they've been concocting a story and then trying to jam what's happened into it. Yeah. Rather than just hearing what's happened and figuring out what's going on.

Yeah. It feels like they're doing it ass backwards. And the only part that matches with going on, can I say, is that a lady disappears and everyone thinks she's dead and then comes back. Yeah. In the movie, she doesn't plot with her partner to create this elaborate story. There's no big kidnapping. Yeah. That's the funny thing. Nothing else is similar. They've been malleable in their accusations to the point of they're guilty. Oh, there's more information. Well, they work together then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like they never like. She. Oh, she's alive. Oh, and she's guilty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And he's like, and like an alien has crashed land on the planet and starts hunting people. Haven't you seen Predator? Yeah. How have you seen it? Have you seen it? I just like that. It happened in a movie. I watched last week.

Yeah. It's just wild. If he happened to watch a movie where they were innocent, they would have been home free by now and they would have got the bad guys. But unfortunately, no. Which one where a fraud was committed. So it's wild that a person is saying that. And they would say that out loud to a lawyer. And at this stage, Denise is facing prosecution for lying to a federal law enforcement officer.

She's looking at being sentenced between a year and 18 months in federal prison. And long term, losing her reputation. How is she going to get work in hospitals? Like how is she going to function in society? How do you trust anyone at all? Like from just from what she went through. Yeah. That would that makes it very hard to trust. But on top of that, like then being accused. Yeah. And meanwhile, the kidnappers are still out there and police aren't bothering to look

into them. So Aaron and Denise feel exposed. They know where they live. No one's protecting them. They've already threatened them that they'll take their families. So they're terrified. And from the press perspective, the story kind of is over. They move on.

And then so this is all by like Wednesday. But then on Saturday, it's the 28th of March, the crime reporter Henry Lee once again receives an email. It's from the kidnappers detailing the events of the home invasion and kidnapping photos have been included. One image is of a gun with a flashlight duct taped to it. And once again, what's their motivation for this? Hey, just letting you know what we did wasn't ridiculous. It was a real thing. We're not going to have credit. Yeah. Everyone's laughing about the wet suits.

Well, I'll tell you. They made sense. In case we had to jump in the water. Yes, it was hard to walk around and it looks sort of rubbing together a little bit. And I've had to go to the. Make that wood. Yeah, I had to go to the canvas to get a little cream.

But apart from that, it was a very smart idea. Yeah. Give us some credit. Come on. Can I doze out the kit? Sure. My sister-in-law has these corduroy shorts and she calls them her woof-woof pants because when she walks they go woof-woof. Woof-woof. That's really cute. I think that's really cute. And your sister-in-law, how old is she? 40.

My woof-woof pants. These are my wolf wolf pants. She's the best. And your sister-in-law is she a toddler? No. She's a 40 year old woman who I adore. That's so funny. Anyway, so there's photos. Henry Lee, he forwards this to the police. No response.

One of Aaron's lawyers also receives the email and in the email it mentions the use of a Mustang convertible. Oh my God, she knew the engine. Denise said the car sounded like a Mustang. Oh my God, your kidnap is driving around in a convertible? How? Yeah, I like I've been saying trunk, by the way. Yeah, for the Americans. But like, imagine a Mustang trunk.

Trunks better than boot. I agree. Boot. Boot sucks. But it's already got another meaning. Trunk only means one thing. That's right. Yeah, so you're saying it's probably a bit squishy. It would be very squishy. Probably, but there's also photos of the location where Denise was held and it matches the descriptions she gave. Wow, so she was... What's 5? 5 dudes driving around in a convertible in Wetsons. He would just look so weird. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm, they just cannot get past it. Here's the motivation. More emails come through giving kind of clues as to the identity of the kidnappers, again sort of being like college educated. I think they may be said ex-military. Oh my God, are they making a puzzle? They defend Denise against claims that the whole things are hoax. They're defending her and saying it's not a hoax, she's not a liar. They say that the Vallejo Police Department has 24 hours to issue an apology to Denise Huskins,

and if they don't apologize, then these kidnappers will strike again. That makes it sound like that does make it sort of sound incriminating to her. They're going, they're trying to help Denise. No, no, but still. And also give her some money. Yeah. Still, the police do nothing right this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace the all-in-one website platform for Entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online if it's your first ever website or your business is expanding

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Yeah. Oh, it looks like Jess has just uploaded something. What it, but it's like 3 a.m. in Australia. Yeah. Yeah, but it's the exact time I wanted to do it in New York City, baby. Exactly. Capture that New York market. Yeah. You mentioned vlogging as well.

If you're into vlogging, you can organize your video library, showcase your content on beautiful video pages, sell access to your videos with member areas. The possibilities are endless. Now head to squarespace.com. Do go on for a free trial and save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain. A couple of months go by and in June police are called to a break-in

at a home in Dublin, California. It's about 40 miles from Vallejo. A family were asleep and a man entered the home and attempted to abduct the 22-year-old daughter. Her father was able to fight the man off and the mother called 911 and police arrived and were told the man had escaped and run off and by the property's fence they found zip ties and duct tape. The daughter informed police that a cell phone had been left behind and police took it in for evidence. Dublin police tracked down, I think there was like the account holder and they call and a woman answers the phone and they ask if she knows whose number this is and she says, oh yeah, that's my son. Her son's name is Matthew Muller. Police

looking up. So close to Matt Mustard. Police looking up. He's a former Marine. Ah, is that what I said? No Navy Seal. Close. He's a Harvard Law graduate and has previously, previously, oh oh my god been a suspect in a couple of different sexual battery cases a suspect the cops don't want to set off alarm bells for Matthew's mother in case she alerts him that they're looking for him so they say oh we just like to get his phone back to him do you know where he is finally the smartest thing these cops have done this is a new set of cops new set of cops Dublin Dublin set of cops. Dublin. Dublin PD.

To be sure. They go, do you know where he is? And she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's staying in my cabin in South Lake Tahoe. So they get in the fucking car and they go straight away. Cabins around the pine trees. Yeah. And a Mustang. Detective Misty Karusu joins the officers to go and make the arrest.

It was her first case as a detective. Oh, wow. I tell you gotta get in a fresh batch of cold brand new friends. She's a fresh detective. As far as ambushes go, it couldn't have gone better. They arrive, kick in the front door, they quickly locate Matthew Muller inside the cabin, and he is handcuffed. And Mr. Caruso in the documentary,

she describes him as being really calm and composed the entire time the is handcuffed and Mr. Kurusu in the documentary describes him as being really calm and composed the entire time the police are detaining him. A search of the house yields several pieces of evidence that link him to the attack in Dublin the night before. They find zip ties, duct tape, just like what was left at the crime scene. They find toy guns that have been painted black, one of which has a laser stuck to the side. Oh my gosh. And it's all lining up to the home invasion the night before.

They're like, OK, great. But Detective Karusu also notices the cabin's windows are covered. And a couple of the police from Dublin PD talk about just this feeling that something wasn't right in that cabin, something sinister. In the bathroom, they found Nyquil syringes. and at the back, they see a white convertible Mustang. They have a look around the car. They check the GPS. It includes several addresses spanning huge distances, you know, from Las Vegas to Huntington Beach, maybe. In the trunk of the Mustang, they found a utility belt, and inside were a pair of swimming goggles that had duct tape all over them to block them out.

And blonde hair stuck to it. Detective Misty, she is a freaking legend. She throws herself into the case. She finds cases of attempted assaults that happened a few years early in 2009, which kind of match in a few different ways. But if it's so if it's the same person, she's building a pretty convincing story. But these 2009 victims who she speaks to, they were brunettes and she's becoming really obsessed with figuring out who the blonde hair belongs to because she knows there's another victim out there. So she keeps looking into it. Meanwhile Denise and Aaron are staying with family, not feeling safe in their own homes. And Denise is receiving death threats on social media and they're still not sure if they're

going to be prosecuted for committing a hoax. Their attorneys are trying to get police and FBI agents to look for the kidnappers, but they seem more interested in looking into Denise and Aaron instead. That must be so frustrating. So infuriating. It's around this time too that Denise and Aaron discover that the lead FBI agent, David Cezma, formally dated Aaron's ex, Andrea, who was the target of the kidnapping. And they go, oh, I reckon that's a bit inappropriate.

So their lawyer flags it as a conflict of interest and inappropriate to the office of Inspector General. And they respond that the authorities have found it to be unproblematic. Oh, that's good. They're like, no, that's fine. I think the system there in that, what was it, Vallejo? Vallejo? Vallejo, I think, I think, I hope they that was it Vallejo Vallejo Vallejo. I think I think I hope they haven't changed anything.

Yeah, I think it's a good system of no, they said it's okay. It's fine. I think it's all fine. It's cool. It's hey chill chill. We got a puzzle maker on the force. Okay. And he's making a puzzle.

You need to just let him work. All right. Let the puzzle master work. So desperate for clues, Detective Misty Kurusu decides to look into the Mustang, which Records show had been stolen seven months prior from an address in Vallejo. So she contacts the registered owner of the Mustang. She tells him that Dublin PD have his car and that it was involved in a home invasion case. And the owner of the car says, hmm, have you heard about the Mare Island Creeper?

And she hadn't. She looks into it. So Mayor Island, it's a little island connected by a bridge to Vallejo. And in 2014, there were a series of peeping Tom cases recorded by students who lived in the area. Night after night, the residents were being harassed and police weren't doing anything about it, which seems crazy for Vallejo. They're so good there.

So these students took it into their own hands. A couple of them discreetly followed the man home one night, discovering that he too lived on Meri Island. And they also, I don't know how, but they figured out that he was a former Marine and a lawyer. I don't know how they figured that out, but they did. So Misty Cruise who's like, holy shit, Matthew Moeller is the Mayor Island Creeper. And the Mustang owner said that the Mayor Island Creeper case has stopped around March of 2015

around the same time as that Gone Girl case. And Detective Cruise who's like, the what case? And this is so wild that police departments don't really share info because to find out what this guy was talking about, she Googled it, found all these articles and stuff and was like, oh, fuck, that's gotta be a better system. No, they said it's okay. It's fine. And she's watching, she's like reading articles.

She sees that so much of the puzzle she's been working on is fully into place. She's also a maker. Denise was taken from a house on the street where the creeper had been reported. I think she's a solver. She's a solver. Turns out that's probably the better thing to be. Yeah. The Mustang GPS had Huntington Beach on it,

where Denise was dropped off. And then she saw a photo of Denise, 30 years old, white, blue eyes, blonde hair. She's like, this is it. I've done it. So she calls Valle OPD. Nothing. They don't answer.

They don't even have it someone on the phone. They fucking, they're hopeless. She keeps leaving messages. They don't return her it someone on the phone. They fucking, they're hopeless. She keeps leaving messages, they don't return her calls. And she would have surely an internal number, not just any number. It's like, it's cop to cop and they don't answer. Eventually she gets onto someone and they say, oh, look, the FBI has taken over that case.

You'll have to speak to them. She's like, okay, give me the phone number. So she calls the FBI, she speaks to David Sezma. She tells him they have a suspect in custody that she believes is linked to the kidnapping of Denise Huskins. The FBI are a little kind of lazy about it. They're like, yeah, okay, whatever.

So they go and meet with Dublin PD and Dublin PD show them all the evidence collected at the cabin. They show like the fake gun found at the cabin, which matches the photo the kidnapper had sent to the crime reporter. And then there was the photo of the goggles and that left the FBI agents visibly shocked because they were like, oh, shit. It's real. This actually happened. And they freaking had their man.

So Denise and Aaron were clear to the allegations of performing a hoax. And in March of 2017, Matthew Muller pled guilty and was sentenced to a total of 40 years in prison. He never revealed why Andrea was the intended target of the crime. FBI agents informed Denise and Aaron that at the conclusion of their investigation, they believed Muller had acted alone and would not be pursuing any other suspects, which obviously angered Aaron and Denise, who remembered quite clearly that there had been multiple men in their home the night of the kidnapping. But according to one news source, it was like in the court reporting about these court proceedings, it was like the pre-recorded

message Moola played gave them the impression there were multiple people there. So I don't really... In the background he's just like, ah, we have... Yeah, Bluetooth speakers on or something. I don't know. The truth is not entirely clear, but Aaron and Denise certainly feel that there were other people involved, but only Matthew Muller has been charged. And he did all that stuff to the press just because he wanted to gloat about what he'd done. And was that kind of?

Yeah, hard to say why he defended Denise and Aaron or Denise specifically. I don't know. It was obviously not right. Yes, that's right. Yeah. But oh, my gosh. He was all just an elaborate thing because he's a sex like he's a sex offender.

He's a rapist. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's it's and he had been because he was a Harvard Law graduate. He'd worked as a lawyer but had been disbarred a few years earlier for like lying to a client or something like something strange. Yeah. So parts of it are still kind of murky. But with the guilty party behind bars, that doesn't just magically make Denise and Aaron's lives go back to normal, obviously. Their lawyers were keen to see the records of the Vallejo PD's investigation. And very quickly it became clear that police had taken very little action at all, instead focusing their energy on convicting Aaron and Denise, which we already know. A couple of these are infuriating. So, remember when

Aaron took the polygraph test and the FBI agent said it was clear that Aaron had failed? Actually he hadn't. The report read that the test had been completed with unknown results because like Matt said, these tests are mostly bullshit. But they just said to him, you failed. Yeah. Again, just trying to get in his head, get him to crack, get him to be like Matt said, these tests are mostly bullshit. So. But they just said to him, you fail. He tells the truth. Yeah, again, just trying to get it in his head, get him to crack, get him to be like, okay, yeah, you're right, I killed her, but he didn't.

That's why you should get a lawyer. Yeah. That's the one that. That's why I did. That's why I've done what I've done. The other one, this is the one that infuriated me the most. While being interviewed by Vallejo police,

Aaron told the cops that the kidnappers were gonna contact him on his cell phone, which you'd think might be a good chance to trace a call. But the police put Aaron's phone on airplane mode. And when they turned the phone back on the next evening, that's when they saw that actually two phone calls had been made to Aaron's phone. Had the police just let the phone calls come in

and trace the calls, they would have been able to narrow down the location of the kidnapper within 200 meters. Oh my God. They could have actually found it. And they're in a cabin, so there's no other places around. Yeah. Yeah. So you would have known they're in there. Hopeless. Could have found it quite easily.

Isn't, I mean, how disheartening that this goes on. Like Like you think of all the cases that never had a misty stumble upon it. Totally. And they're just still a couple of people who've been falsely accused of making up a crime or whatever else. But geez, that's a grim thought. How would you trust that you would never trust the police again? You would never trust, believe that you're safe. Like, yeah, it's horrendous. I'd be moving to Dublin in Ireland. Yeah. Big time. Or anywhere named Dublin.

And I'd ask Misty to be my neighbor. Yeah. That would be nice, actually. In 2016, Aaron and Denise sued the city of Alejo for defamation. None of the officers involved in the case were disciplined. And in fact, Detective Mustard was awarded Officer of the Year in 2015, that very year.

Officer of the Year. Wow. Denise and Aron had an out of court settlement for two and a half million dollars. And in an incredibly frustrating case and story, there's at least a happy ending. Aron and Denise met with Detective Misty Caruso at the end of 2017. And Denise told her that all she wanted during this entire ordeal was for

there to be someone in law enforcement to call a hero and that Misty was Denise's hero. It was really nice. Misty, like Misty says in the documentary that she got into law enforcement because a friend of hers was sexually assaulted and she wanted to make sure that she was stopping it from happening and catching people who did it and putting it behind bars. And she fucking did that, which is very cool. And I think as frustrating and awful as it is that their case was so terribly handled by police officers doing shit work, it was the amazing and thorough work of another police officer that

eventually saw the case be solved. So Misty really. And like the Dublin PD in general, it's not just Misty, but she was sort of the detective on it. So, and despite going through something so horrific, so early in a relationship, I don't think they've been together very long. Um, they stayed together. They got married.

Um, they moved away from the area. They have two little kids now in 2021, they got married, they moved away from the area, they have two little kids now. In 2021, they published a book about their ordeal, it's called Victim F, From Crime Victims to Suspects to Survivors. And yeah, in January of this year, the documentary American Nightmare came out as well. And I think that's probably the reason Christina suggested the topic, she just suggested it in January. I think the other person who'd suggested Matt had listened to a podcast about it. Matt Mustard. Um, and I would have wanted, I mean, I'd be embarrassed.

I wouldn't be telling people to fucking talk about it. I'm sorry. I forgot this is award winning work from him. Yeah. He won an award. He got a little medal for this. What the crap? No, no, it's wild.

And yeah, there's not heaps of,aps of press coverage about it or writing about it. So a lot of this report is based on that documentary. But basically, it's so harrowing and unimaginable. I'm choosing to take solace in the fact that Aaron and Denise have been able to move forward with their lives despite this awful experience. Yes, Wow. That is a happy ending. Yeah. That I mean, obviously there's no way there wouldn't be a lot of trauma. Yes. A lot of therapy required. Like I can't imagine their life is super easy, but they've been able to move forward and that made me feel a lot better.

No disciplinary action for any of the cops is the opposite. If you want to finish on a happy note, I want to finish on a super grim note. They're all probably getting promotions right now. They probably have. Who cares? I don't know. It's wild. It's such a wild story.

The documentary is great. I highly recommend it. It's very. It's such a wild story. The documentary is great. I highly recommend it. It's very gripping. And yeah, fucking really brave and cool of Denise and Aaron to share their story the way they do. And I hope they're okay. It's really nice. It basically ends with them sort of talking about their kids and Aaron just sort of goes

because they've got two little girls and Aaron's like, you know, I want them to grow up in a well with their safe. But basically, I want them to be like their mum because if they're like their mum, they're going to be okay. And it's really nice. You're like, that's so nice. But yeah, what a fricking ordeal. Isn't that a wild story? That is so one of the most wild we've ever had on the show. Yeah. Welcome back, Dave. Oh, I'm glad I was here for that episode. That is so one of the most wild we've ever had on the show. So welcome back Dave. Oh, I'm glad I was here for that episode.

Imagine getting a guest in and making them sit through that. Yeah. Hey, come to our comedy podcast and then. A little gear change from a weed out last week. Yeah, that's right. But yeah, no, I was absolutely gripped and like you said, like at different times you think, no, it must be this person. No, they must be lying.

But that's because Jess was manipulating us. Yeah. Remember that. That wasn't our biases. That was just me being. You played us like a fiddle and it felt great. It felt good. Felt good.

Felt like the devil was going down to Georgia. It's the name of a fiddling song. And a US state. That's all I liked a fiddle to. Yes, that is true. Holy shit fiddling song. And a US state. That's all I like to fiddle to. Yes, that is true. Holy shit. Could have been. Is that a state? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. There you go. It is, in my mind, a place that I go. Yeah, OK. Also, Henry Lee is the name of a Nick Cave song. All right, so couldn't get that out of my head every time we mentioned him. Does that bring us to everyone's favorite section of the show?

I think it might. I mean, I feel like over the last month, this has improved a lot. So it'll be a bit jarring to try and wedge Dave back. But let's see if we can. We have been doing it really well and certainly not taken it for a real fucking walk. Yeah. The dings have been fantastic. The dings have been really fantastic.

I should say that right off the bat. But we'll see how we go, we'll see how we go. Anyway, yeah, no, we'll make that one come back. How about some of these bands were booked? Oh, yeah, we've been booking some good bands. We have been booking some good bands. Do you have a backlog of book bands? Yeah, I've just, I opened up my email

and I can't believe how many people have said yes. Okay, great. We've got some great acts coming up tonight. All right, fantastic. Well, before we get to that, really this section of the show, it's about 30 to 40 minutes now that Dave's back, while Dave was gone, it was three, four hours, where we thank some of our great Patreon supporters. These are the people who keep the lights on and the mics on this podcast.

That's nice, I like that. And yeah, if you want to get involved, you can go to patreon.com. Do go on pod. Dave will be able to tell you about some of the rewards that. And yeah, if you want to get involved and go to patreon.com. Do go on pod. Dave will be able to tell you about some of the rewards or what not you can get if you get involved. Well, if things haven't changed since I've been gone, what we do is yeah, we reward people with our bonus episodes. We put out three a month seem to be four.

Wow. Plus you get access to the back catalog, which is over 200. Back catalog. Yeah. Oh, you don't know to the bat catalog, which is over 200. The bat catalog. Yeah. Oh, you don't know about the bat catalog? We actually, I once did a report on the bat bomb. Do you remember that? Yeah, and Batman. Yeah, of course I don't remember that.

That wasn't a bonus episode. But also, you can get B part of the Facebook group, which is a lovely place. Honestly, you think Facebook group? How good could that be? It's lovely. It's nice in there. And lately, it's really been filled with people saying don't worry he's fine. And that's true.

That's been true this whole time. I'll read that thinking that's true. I am. You also get discount tickets you get to vote for topics like this one. Yeah, I think that they used to say that maybe you're worried as a grim topic. I think it was so gripping that I'm glad the photo. If I can be completely honest with you, I put up four, three were really fricking good. I was like, oh, I'm on a hot streak here.

These are gonna be amazing. And they did, they voted really well. And I'm excited to do the others at another time because they were great. So some, some smoke and hot suggestions in the hat lately, I just want to say. I was looking, these were mostly sort of fairly recent suggestions and they were hot hot hot. And anyone can suggest.

Yeah. You go to do go on pod.com and there's a link there saying submit or something like that. Yep. I would say you know how the mind can come up with some pretty full on stuff when you say this is so grim, I was expecting it to be way worse. Yeah, right. And obviously it was horrible, but I was expecting it to be the worst thing of all time. But we've done like the clown. We've done William H. Macy and stuff.

We've done William H. Macy. That's not even the thing. I want a terrible life, he's lived. Yeah. Didn't he pay to get a kid in a uni or something? Yeah. That was him? Yeah. Yeah, didn't he pay to get a kid in a uni or something? Yeah. That was him? Yeah.

Yeah, it was a pretty fun episode, but also his brother, the clown killer, whatever his name was, Gacy, not Macy. Both William H though, doesn't matter. I don't know. So what we do, Patreon.com. You get involved. One of the levels is the Sydney Schoenberg level or above. And if you're involved in that, you get to give us a fact, a quote or a question, which actually has a jingle that goes something like this. You always remember the ding. She always remembers the thing and the jingle.

And yeah, people get to give us a fact, a quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion or really whatever they like. They also get to give themselves a title. I read out for each week. I read them out for the first time on the show. That is just to forgive me for anything that's pretty full on that they write or any mispronunciations I make. Mischpronunciation. Which is yes.

A bit of comic irony there. It's a hard word. I mispronunciate that one and that. So the first one comes from Cheryl Engelsman aka mother of a 95 pound toddler conversion their 43 kegs thank you I was about to kill a toddler is that huge that's that's incredible I think you and I think I probably achieved that weight about 18 18. Yeah, like genuinely right? Yeah, maybe 16. Your comedy weight was 59, right? 52. 52. 52 and that wasn't my early 20s. Wow, that's a big toddler. Congratulations, lover. Congratulations on the weight of your toddler. Yeah. Cheryl's offering a Bragg slash suggestion. I mean, the Bragg's already happened. Yeah, it's already happened. You got a big Todd. But let's see if there's any more to it.

Big Toddie. Hey, mates, my Braggs that I recently adopted, a great Dane. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Because I was a little concerned for that child.

I was like, I was getting ready to sign them up to the boomers talent pathway. I have no connection to the Sh up to the boomers talent pathway. I have no connection to the showing basketball team pathway, but adopted great day named Searsha, which is an Irish. Yes, Searsha. Searsha. Well, phonetically. Searsha.

They've written Searsha. So, it's their dog. Okay. They're rules. Yep, and she is 95 pound toddler I posted about her That groans since I just said before no, I already said 95 don't mind me I post about her in the nice of Conor the internet. Oh, yes, anyone wants to see her adorable face. Very cute I like that if anyone wants to see her sign up to Patreon. Love that.

She's a handful, but a total sweetheart and a giant goofball. My suggestion is something I also brought up in the Facebook group that you lovely pod hosts come out with some dog slash pet merch. Bandanas were offered as a good option. I know most of the listeners with pets would love to have their furry, scaly friends wrap the pod. And we already have a couple of models ready to- Absolutely, I'd love that. Can I just double-check furry slash scaly?

Are they the two kinds of pets you can have? Yeah. Feathery? No, it's not listed. Okay. Who am I to say? Could you get a little scarf for your parrot. That would be really really cute A little parrot with a scarf on adorable. We should do that. We should yeah, absolutely little yeah little

Neck yeah neck ties. We're gonna bow tie that'd be cute That dogs rock bow tie sometimes and we call out there. This is you gonna hate this so much But the the pet range is like dog go on or something like that. Yeah, but I mean, that's pretty narrow, isn't it? Yeah. What about cats? Dave, you've forgotten there are like, we just said, we just said scaling.

What about lizards? Yeah. Do you lose it on? What about like, you must for your goldfish? How about we just say, That's good. How about we just say, do go on pet range or something. Like maybe more inclusive Dave.

Okay. Well obviously dogs are the superior pet. You're very myopic when it comes to pets. Does that mean one-eyed? I don't know. Doesn't matter then. The next one comes from Chris Torres. Hang on, I did a conversion to find out how big my toddler is.

And he's 39 pounds. Wow. So this is more than double your Todd. Yeah. Well, I've done an intense search for the world's heaviest toddler. And in 2003, a guy from Russia, Dan Zambolot Katov was the according to Guinness Book of Records, the world's heaviest child. Okay.

At four years old he weighed 56 kilos. Wow. He's so tall as well. Like. At seven he was four foot three and weighed 100 kilos. Wow. Yeah. I think he had a, you know, doctors were unsure of the cause of his fast growth.

Yeah. That's impressive. Sorry to interrupt you there Matt to tell you how heavy my dog is. No, that's all right. Um, I meant to say monocular. Myopic means not able to clearly see objects at a far away, which I guess for David, cats, fish, parrots and other kinds of pets. Whereas he's got a dog in the face. He can only see what's in front of him and that's his dog. That's a Humphrey. That's a Humphrey. That's a Humphrey. Okay, the next one comes from Chris Torres, okay, official North Carolinian.

Oh, official North Carolinian. Is that right? Living in Ohio with family in Gary, Indiana of the pod. I can't believe how many things Chris ticks. If you have any connection to a creamy in Vermont, you've done it all. Oh my God, you know what I realized while you were away, Dave? What? I've already told Jess, it's fantastic news and you better believe she was not particularly excited about it.

Alastair Tromblay-Bertul lives in Quebec, which shares a border with Vermont. Oh my gosh, creamy territory. Yeah. You've got a man on the ground. Oh my gosh. You could get feed in a creamy, tongue on a creamy. Wow. He could be my...

He could get feed on a creamy? Yeah, I said boots on the ground. Oh, feed on a creamy. I lost control of the analogy or whatever that was. My creamy proxy. He could, you could zoom in and he could like really in, in incredible detail. Describe the texture. Knowledge yet where you've got like a little sock that you can, you know, like some sort of a sock connected to a computer and you put your tongue.

And that's all at the other end. That's like a, you know, that's like an animatronic tongue. That can lick things for you. Have they got that yet? Have they got that yet? So you do that you would just be in South Africa and then quickly just go onto the ground, suck shit, suck shit, suck shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no! And even if you invented that with the sweetest intentions, it would immediately be sex. That would be sex. It would sell so well for long distance couples. But then you would be going to town on each other. But you would be so annoyed.

No, it's for creamies. It's for creamies. Not that kind of creamies. I've been misinterpreted. It's for people. Not cream pies, creamies. Creamies all around. It's for people who try to enjoy doll whip from afar.

Yes. Anyway, sorry about that run up there. Chris, anyway, Chris has a fact. Hey gang, I'm back, back brackets T, and then out of brackets T with another fact. Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm back with another fact. This one is dog themed. Oh my God. Oh my God. Back to back dog. I'm back with another fact. This one is dog themed. Oh my God.

Back to back dog. I'm listening because I can see it. So hopefully this is an excuse to bring back dogoon. Oh my God. Oh my God. It makes sense. What the fuck is happening right now? And this one isn't even North Carolina theme.

So hopefully Jess is more inclined to think it's fun. In the past you've thought Chris's facts about mini golf courses, flowers that eat things. I thought they were great. Why? I mean, but that's not up to you, is it? Um, yes. I mine charge of great.

No, that's a great. I'm grim. You're dull. I'm fun. That's just, no, that's just how we are as people in terms of facts. Oh, no, it's the same. That's the same. Uh, on episode four to six, the sixth backstreet boy in the fact quite a question segment.

Matt made a joke about dogs only seeing black and white while the do go on logo is blue and yellow. Did I get that comedic timing right, Matt? I don't remember my face. I'm sorry, Chris. I've no memory of this at all. I think that was when I just got back from America and I did the because I wasn't remember my face. I'm sorry, Chris. I've no memory of this at all. I think that was when I just got back from America and I did the because I wasn't on that episode. Oh, I did the end bit and I remember it being a bit delirious.

I was gonna say, I was like, I don't think you were on that episode. Did I get that comedic timing right? I reckon you probably nailed it because Matt's timing is. I mean, I'm doing my timing through you. So if anything, it's probably even more good timing. And I'm well known for my timing. That's right. My fact, ironically, dogs only see in blue and yellow.

The retinas in the eyes of animals are filled with light-sensitive cells called photoreceptors. Animals have two kinds, rod photoreceptors. They can receive rods, which are sensitive to the intensity of light. Okay, I got that. I should have read the end of the sentence. I just assumed it was people called rod. Yeah. Don't just can see rod.

Yeah, rod, Todd. This is God classic. That's from the Simpsons. So they've got the ones that can accept rod into their lives and hearts and sorry, light. Well, then Rod, we trust. And cone photoreceptors, which are sensitive to the color of light. Cones are terrible at detecting really low levels of light, which is why color washes out in the dark. In most animals, these, I mean, if your aim, Chris, was to make a fun fact, I think getting deep into the scientific.

I mean I was so gripped to the first sentence but the last 12 I've really this diminishing returns Chris. Well it goes on in most animals these color sensitive cone photoreceptors can be further subdivided and named based on the color of light they are most sensitive to as man in particular may know many apes apes, humans included, have three kinds of cones. Sensitive to red, green and blue light. Primates came back a week or so ago by the way. Congratulations. Which is an episode about Kong vs Godzilla. The colors we see as a result of our brains comparing signals went sent to it from different levels of activation of each type of cone. I just said, you know, Chris, that Jesse is browsing Facebook. That's true. I'm on the Patreon group. So we can only see red, green, blue or some combination of the three. But having three types of.

Chris, can I just say? Dull fact confirmed. Chris, dogs can see in blue and yellow. End of fact. What do you have said that was fun? That was fun to me. No, cause I already knew that. I don't know.

It's already fun. But yeah, I guess I'd go, yeah, it's fun fun. Considering that logo, I would have never thought that Humphrey could see that logo really well. That's what you can see. That's what you can see. It plays my mom. That's the first thing.

Whoa! Oh my God, that's why he listens to the show. Hello Humphrey. Sorry, can you let Chris finish? Sorry, Chris, please do go on. I'm just going to keep scrolling on Facebook. I only have two types. There's Kones.

Exactly which colors those two types are most sensitive to? Fairies and more animals. But in dogs, they happen to be sensitive to blue and yellow. So counter to the common misconception, the dogs are colorblind and those only say black and white. Dogs can actually see blue yellow including really dark yellow which looks kind of brown. This is a story that's just a circle. So you pick the perfect possible color palette for a dog on logo books forever all that money one day back. I'm back I'm back. I think that confirmed dull to me.

Books forever. Uh, you like words, Chris? I like that. I thought it was a fun fact. And I think because you have it at home, it's going to stick with me. Cones. Um, I think a few people are smoking on some of those right now

and loving this dog scene blue and yellow That's That's you kissing a dog. I thought that's you putting your tongue into that computer Let me look your dogs. I put the tongue up to it everyone this week so far has had a name and this one is no exception Charlie And this week so far has had a name and this one is no exception. Wow. Charlie. Whoa. So we've had Cheryl, Chris and Charlie. Cheryl is incredible.

I'm hungry. I'm trying to get back into it. Official guy. Oh, Charlie is official guy who met Matt and Chicago and invited him. Oh my God, this is long. To come to an improv show but was kind of half joking and didn't expect him to come because I know he's not big on improv and it kind of felt weird to even bring it up in the first place but then he actually came to the show which was very surprising but I appreciate it and I thought the show was

just okay I mean it wasn't bad but we've had better and there were like 12 people in the crowd but Matt seemed to enjoy himself but then again he also seemed kind of drunk. I was and I appreciate it either way and then also we sat at the bar and talked to talk like two hours. And he's a pretty cool dude, I think. Well, Charlie, that read to me at the start, like you were not actually supposed to go. You know, it was like embarrassing that you actually don't invite me. But by the end, it's it's lovely and wholesome. But at first I was like, oh, Matt, you've done it again.

So we had a Patreon catch up in Chicago, which I've talked about on Matt remembers a pod. One of our bonus episodes. A podcast I hope never happens again. Well, it's unlikely that I will remember it, but. And then for lunch, I think I had Mexican. Oh, talking of all, I feel hungry for lunch. Okay, mate.

Yo, you're talking about a lunch you haven't even had yet. Ha ha ha ha! Fuck, he got me. So we got up for a page on ketchup in Chicago and he told me there and it was just rotating patrons coming through just round after round of beers. I end up with Swibesie and oh my God, why can't I remember Swibesie's wife's name? She's got an equally awesome name, but Swibesie has pushed it out of my head. It's like Finnorsby. But anyway, I say it differently wrong every time.

But they took me to the Guinness, the first Guinness pub outside of, brewery outside of Dublin. And then they were driving home and I said, you're not driving past this improv place. They dropped me off there. And then I, you know, anyway, I do hear more of this story.

You can subscribe to our Patreon. Matt remembers two exciting episodes. Absolutely. He has a f**king scrolling Facebook. I don't know. Chris got me in the mood for explaining things. So Charlie has a question. That was only his title.

Not his. Great. Hello from Chicago. I really want to go to Melbourne this year for the company festival, but the problem is that I've never traveled alone. Never been outside of the USA except I spent one day in Canada, but that doesn't count. Oh my god, you immediately lied and fessed up. Beautiful. And in fact, have hardly even been outside of my home state. I want to see the world and I figure Australia is an easy place to start. Yeah. I mean, you do live.

It is very far. You've got Mexico and Canada. Straddling. That's arguably easier. Yes. We are far away, but I think it's an easy place to. Culturally. Visit.

Yeah. It's like it's different enough that you'll be like, oh, that's different. But there's no language barrier and we're pretty's like it's different enough that you'll be like, oh, that's different. Whoa. But there's no language barrier. Yeah. And we're pretty friendly and it's safe. Chicago felt to me quite, I don't know, I felt quite a lot like home. Yeah. Like Melbourne. I think it's like Melbourne's like a smaller Chicago or something.

Yeah. And also different in other ways. Like their dishes are deeper. And they have some awful drinks like Malor. Oh, that's right. But anyway, if you want to hear more about that, listen to Matt Ramamper's. Oh, God, save yourself. People loved it. I just don't really know how to go about it.

Being three people who live in Melbourne and who seem to go on international trips all the time, that's more you day of the thing. What advice would you give a first time traveler? What should I bring? How long should I say for? How can I avoid spending too much? What are some fun things to do in Melbourne on your own? The American dollar is very strong.

Everything will be cheaper shit for you here. It'll be fine. Yeah. I like... Jess is saying that as someone who's about to go the opposite way. Yeah, it's going to be very expensive. If I'm thinking about, do I want to go there? One of my number one first stops is a little website called youtube.com. Oh, you can usually talk in top 10 and then name of city. And there's either like Expedia have like professional ones

of like most major cities in the world, or you just have vloggers that have just walking around saying here are 10 things I did and you can sort of see a vibe of the city a bit like that and at the end of the 10 minute video you'll probably go yeah I want to go there or that does not come my scene so I think that's a really good place to start so you want to do that for Sydney, you want to do that for Melbourne, for Brisbane, Adelaide, wherever you want to go. I think you want to do like definitely come to Melbourne for the Comedy Festival because that's a great time to be in the city and It's very Chicago you kind of weather to say weather wise. It's quite nice. I think cold and rainy, but not it's not always It's not Chicago freezing. It's just it's a bit of a mix

It can be a bit chilly and it can rain, but it's not like it's not so wet. You can't go outside It's just it's turning into autumn. Yeah, it'll all, Comedy Festival always feels like the start of winter to me. It does. Yeah. But. Start of footy season. You also probably want to go to Sydney, different kind of weather and just like the, see the bridge, see the opera house. Like it's, it's, it's a great touristy sort of spot. But there's lots of really amazing. You can go further north.

It depends on how long you can take and how long you want to take. But like you could go further north and do like cans and see the Daintree and Great Bay Reef is really spectacular. And again, the weather is more tropical. Go to the Red Center, Darwin's awesome, which isn't the red center, of course, but different again. The thing to remember and the thing that I see a lot of Americans on TikTok talking about is that Australia is quite a lot larger than you think it is.

And it's, it's pretty hard hard to you can't really just go. So I'll go to Melbourne and then the next day I'll drive to Sydney. Like it's it's not super drivable that these places are very far apart. If you look on the map, Melbourne to Sydney doesn't look that far, but it is like a, you know, a 10 hour or so drive. Yeah, it's quite far. It's doable, but you know, it should be doable. It's doable. So yeah fly places. I'd say you're a Chicago Improver like there's. Maybe you could link up with someone at the improv conspiracy in Melbourne. I think the guy started to.

He's American. I think you might be from Chicago even but he likes that over there. But there's a, that's a place to sort of link up with and see if you can, uh, I don't know, do some, I don't know what your improv is. Do do some work together. Some shows. There'd be some scenes. There'd be heaps of improv shows at the festival. You could check out as well. If you wanted to.

I should say, I'm going to problem with improv. Improv's fun. Yeah. Um, and I, I want to also just say on the traveling solo thing, traveling solo rules, it's so good. There's little moments where you're like, oh, I'm a bit homesick or am I a bit lonely? Um, but you get to do everything at your own pace. If you're walking through a museum and you're like, this isn't for me, you can just leave.

You don't have to wait for another person to like stand at a painting for four hours and you're like, oh, I want to go, you just leave. You're hungry, you eat. You want to stay in your room and just watch TV one night because you're tired, you can. You don't have to feel, you know, obligated to do stuff that other people, traveling with other people is great, but traveling by yourself also great.

And when you're traveling by yourself, you also end up linking up with people. Yeah. You know, you can, you know, you have quick friendships. That's right. I would say Australia feels like a pretty safe place to travel solo as well. Yeah, Melbourne Comedy Festival, you've just got things to do every night. If you want to, there's, you know, you could, you know, you'd have probably 50 shows to choose from every night. More, less, I don't know. Yeah, sometimes more. I can. Yeah. So it's definitely do it. Do it.

Come hang out. It'll be so fun. I know with me, though, I did not enjoy your company. He finished the bus saying thanks guys. And keep up the great work. Your show never fails to make me laugh. And it's always a treat when I see a new episode pop up. Charlie.

All right, Charlie, you've won me back. Thanks, Charlie. That was a very fun night hanging out. But I was. Hammered. I was a very fun night hanging out, but I was. Hammered. I was a bit drunk and obnoxious. He was hammered. I remember annoying everyone. And we should also say we are doing shows at the Comedy Festival.

So you're in town. We got three opportunities to see us do live do go on Sunday afternoons downstairs at Basement Comedy Club. And also, Matt, you're doing a split show with Saren. So you get to see some standups and podcasts if you want to come see us if you're in town, please come along. Yeah, it was so much fun. And yeah, we did, we did some Patreon catch-ups there like we did in Chicago. And I'm probably gonna, Jess has been invited, gonna do one in Melbourne as well. Yeah, Jess is, I'm busy. She's busy, but you know what it is? I'm shy. Yeah, Jess is busy. She's busy, but.

You know what it is? I'm shy. Yeah. I'm an introvert. Which is fair enough. I'm on a healing journey this year. But I'm all about sleep and. So before you ask, Jess is fine.

Vitamins. She was just busy that day, okay? Yeah. So let's not make it all about her. I'm here. Yeah. Why don't I ask you about how I'm going. Not where's Jess.

Oh yeah, we'll talk about it in the Facebook group for a good time for that maybe it'll be, I don't know, whatever. We'll figure it out. Last one comes from Paul Mellor. Okay, an old rocker from Odom. And Paul's bra, got a brag. We welcome brags.

Love a brag. We will celebrate with you. Hit us. This is a wordy week, because because we got another wordy one, which we love to our point. Hi guys, it's me again with another Oldham based fact which could be considered a Bragg. It may even be fun, but I'll let Jess decide. So back in the day, well not 1991, oh, a good year. I was an 18 year old rocker earning just enough to pay rent to my parents and get out to local pubs at a weekend. August 17th of that year, I experienced my first festival at the Homer Rock, Donington.

I think it's unfair to Chris that you didn't use this voice for Chris's fact about the dog. I probably would have been more about it but please continue. That year, Monsters of Rock lineup was Queens Rock, Motley Crew, Metallica and Ed lined by Akadaka. It was amazing day out. However, just a little earlier that month, on the 5th of August, I got to see a very local band playing at Oldham's Gwain Elizabeth Hall that band was there and it was there that band was

called dare dive listen up your name with one letter different day okay dare not there that band was there the band I saw was there! The band was there Dave, like the Oskofi, listen up! Over dare? Mate you got two ears, one mouth, use them in that bloody race show, alright? Shite sorry man. That band was there and I was in that band, hang on, and in that band was a very young, long-air keyboard playing professor Brian Cox. Yes, that's right, the good professor was in fact a glam rocker from Oldham. I actually met

the band at the local record shop. Yes, you heard me right, record shop, the golden disc, promote their single, We Don't Need a Reason. So fuck off, I added that last bit in post. I still have the autograph CD single on me shelf now I'm not claiming this was great music but it was fairly good rock music not a patch on the bands at Donington that year but it was not a bad little gig I'll post a picture on Facebook after this goes out and see if I can find a link to the music video. Thanks for all the great episodes so far this year.

All being well, I'll see you on the 7th of April at your live show with my family in tow. Take care. Okay, you've gone scary it now. I think Paul's gonna murder me at the show. He's telling me what I'm gonna die. Well, we lost you for a bit there. Where'd you go? Oldham. Yeah.

No, we're near their accent. I don't think. What's the Oldham accent? It's very close to Manchester. Okay. So you do you do you leave Gallagher then? I don't know about do a leave Gallagher. Oh, okay.

Do you know Gallagher? subtle differences. Yeah. Okay. Do you're a bonehead? What's the other guy? They got a great, isn't one of them called bonehead or something? One of the Galagas?

One of the Oasis. Oh, right. Doesn't matter. You're not gonna do any of them. Doesn't matter. Okay. Doesn't matter. August. Okay.

That means, what are we doing? That's the end of the That went for like that went for 40 minutes. What is this called fact? What a question? Thank you to Paul Charlie Chris and Shezal can I call you Shazer just a quick question? I'll wait Thanks, and we like to do Thanks, I've lost is that I honestly, the oxygen stop going on in my brain during that. During that, as well as years ago. What I say during that, I meant my life so far.

The next thing we like to do is, well, thank you for your other great Patreon supporters. Bob, you normally. I came up with a game I come up with a game. Came up with a game. Um, uh, but okay, here's, here's my thought. Cause you know how there was like the Mayor Island Creeper? Mm-hmm. But let's not make it something that's a horrendous crime.

But what about like, um, some sort of, uh, uh, like a name? Okay, we can. Face on where they're from maybe. We'll give them a name. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe like a positive. Okay, we can. Face on where they're from, maybe. We can give a name. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe like a positive thing. Yeah. But they're known as, like, we'll come up with some examples.

We'll come up with some examples. Don't waste any good examples here. I've got one. I'm ready to go. So, Matt, do you want to kick us off by thanking some people? Sure. Rhythm guitarist was Paul Bonehead Arthur's. Sure.

Until the year of 99. It was there through the year. I was no idea what you're talking about. I thought their best year was in the 2000s. So. Oh, yeah. Definitely not. The Flying Birds with the band Oasis could have been. All right. So if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Albion Park, New South Wales, Australia, Karen,

every the Albion Park, bin reminder. I did. It's been not for me tonight. Yeah. Oh my God, Dave. Thank you so much. Wait, first it's my midnight too. Oh my gosh. Well, Karen's here to let you know. Karen, thank you so much.

Thank you, Karen. Not every Karen, but Karen every will let you know. That's nice. That's good. That's a good tag. Matt, that was pretty good. Yeah, I'll pay that. Oxygen's getting back in there. This is where I come up with a good stuff.

Sorry. He doesn't know how to do anything with his mouth. That's how he drinks, eats. How I tongue a computer. Next one, I'd love to thank from Tlai, maybe in Queensland, Australia. Felicity Berry. What a fantastic name.

The Tlai'i Apple. Okay. And can you talk a bit? It's the Apple of everyone in that community. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, exactly. It's to be the Apple of the T'l'i Apple of our eye. But now it's just been shown to the T'l'i Apple. Okay, that's great. That's nice.

And sometimes just Apple. Everyone's just very proud of Felicity. I made a coffee at home the other day and the foam sort of looked like an apple. Oh my god. Do you like all purpose? I sure fucking did. Thank you because I don't believe you. I took it very well. What you should have done was not touched it and sold it on eBay. Exactly. You can't quite see but the top of it has like a little stalk coming out. Oh my gosh. It looks like a little apple. Like a cartoon of an apple. Yeah. It looks like an apple emoji. If you turn on its side, it looks like. Someone's spewing. It looks like a Pac-Man with a tiny mouth.

Yeah. Go. What's the impact man's going? Try to suck up the things. And the last one for me, I would love to thank from. I really got to look up what umlauts do to letters, but it's got an umlaut on lot on the I think it lengthens them. That's why motorhead should be pronounced mood. to thank Joe Lease. Joe Lease. Joe Lease. Joe Lease.

The Oribro Oreo. Oh, nice. Got a bit of cream in the middle. Is that right? Like an Oreo? Yeah. Yeah. Happy to be dunked.

Happy to be dunked. He's a dunker or they're a dunker and dunk a shern for your support. Aribro, the sixth largest city in Sweden. What the fuck? Do you know what I mean? Like, sometimes there's just moments where I look around like, oh, what the fuck are we doing?

I think this episode has been a real Oreo. Yeah. You know, it's the middle bit was a great report. But even so, that has been nonsense. Absolutely. Hard brown biscuit. Yeah. Like a hard brown biscuit. Yeah, no one likes the biscuit. What's happening? See what I mean? Dave, you should go back on leave, I think.

So do I? Did I bring this weird energy? No, you should just save yourself. We're two Hamish's and you're our Andy. That's according to one page. I'm like, sorry. I just put my hand out and then just put his out on top of mine. I thought, oh, sorry, is that your spot?

I know you would, oh, human touch. Oh, okay. Oh my. Apparently as the Andy, would you like me to move things along in there? Yeah, please. And thanks, then, people. I'm so hungry.

I would like to thank from location unknown. We can only assume they're deep within the fortress of the mole, So do with that. What you will Daniel Corrigan. The fortress hole digger. Oh, well, I think Corrigan made me think of like, is it the car? Cargated Island. Oh, my God.

Yes. How about I finish the sentence? Carragans from from the castle. Yeah. And digging a hole. Yes. And obviously he's a mole. Yeah, that's right. The deeper, the better. Don't don digging a hole. Yes. And obviously he's a mole.

The deeper the better. Doug another hole. It's filling with water. Good stuff. That is good stuff. Great movie. Daniel Corrigan. I would also like to thank from Anchorage in Alaska. Fantastic thing. Thank you so much to Katie Stachow or Stady Stakow.

The Anchorage Bluebird. I love that. Sort of secretly goes around spreading song. Oh, that's nice. Just outside of Windows going, oh. A bit of a wobble. And then as soon as people pop their head out, gone.

Katie's gone. But also, they do notice that it's really put them in a better mood. Yeah. And they go. Positive only. And they yell out, thank you, Anchorage,, Angerish, Anchorage, Bluebird. I just lost my mother.

And you've put a pen in my step. Wait, there she is. Thanks, Bluebird. That's right. A little twist there. What I'd also like to thank from Olympia in Washington, John Hamilton. John Hamilton from Washington? From Olympia.

That's cool. the the Olympia. Splendour I think is a brand of it can just not okay Olympia Splendour. Because John makes every situation cool is cool situation. Yes, that's good. Oh, the Splendor's here. Oh, the Splendor, I think goodness. Oh, thank goodness. And even people who don't know that niche brand of an air cushion just still think Splendor. It's the Splendor. Yeah. And it's not quite, it's the Olympia Splendor.

Okay. Close. But I'm going to call John the Splendor, the Olympia Splendor. May I thank some people? Please. I would love to thank from Orrin Park in New South Wales, Melissa Ariola. Oh, is that the nipple? Yeah.

Well, I won't focus on that. The Oran Park, a boob. The a boob? I'm so sorry, Melissa. I'm sure you've never got that. Sure, that's never happened before. The Oren Park... What about the Oren Park? Strangler. Breeze. Breeze.

The Oren Park Breeze. Oh, that's nice. Just brings a freshness. It always brings a cool change. Yeah, whenever whenever Melissa rocks up to a party or any sort of event maybe she comes to your firm. Um, I understand and everyone's like oh my god. It is stuffy in here. We needed a change and here it is.

Thank you so much. You are a breath of fresh air. In fact, you're the iron park breeze. That's nice. That's nice. What a compliment. I would also love to thank also in New South Wales from Barrenball, Jess Smith. What about the Barrenball Badger? Oh, I like that. Yeah. Because of alliteration. Badger. And like, you know, if you're a bit worried about going in and like confronting someone, you call the Badger. Yeah, so they will go in. They'll play the badger on your badger on your bath.

Absolutely. Another badger, just the badger, just the badger. I like it. It's better. Yeah. The badger will not back down. Must be back down badger. Much easier for Jess to make merch, you know. Yes. Yeah. I don't think it feels like we have not stuck at all with the idea of the creeper.

Well, until now, we want to just the first one that feels like it fits the brain. We wanted to move away from the creeper. No, but you know, I mean, normally it's like, it's like a, what do you call that? It's a, it's a word that is like a thing someone does. They creeps. They're the creeper. They're the badger. They badge. Yeah. But I felt, you know, we had the breeze we know that means yeah, it's not Look into it. Yeah, we're up to our last one But it could have been the Oran Park blower instead of the breeze, you know, I mean

But I think all right, well, let's stick to that new rule for the last one Canberra in the ACT. I'd love to thank Kate. Now may I propose the Canberra Creeper. Okay. Still has a little ration, bit of fun. I think that's great. Looks like Kate's surname starts with M if you're wondering if that, you know, there's probably many Kate's in Canberra.

There's a few bloody clowns up there, mate. Kate Creeper. What about the Kraper? Oh! They make crepes. Oh, they're a crappier. Yeah, they're a crappier. We got a little truck.

Do you see them at festivals and stuff? Oh, there were people that were like, yes! Actually, there was a crepe truck. Big blow. It was like, yeah! I know, I am actually there was a crepe truck. Big blow, it was like, yeah. I know, I am. Yes. Oh, my truck.

Fuck yeah. There was a crepe truck at the New Year's Festival I went to and I had two of those crepes. I went back for more crepes. How long have you had New Year's? It was so good. I had Biscoff and Strawberry on it. It was fucking delicious.

Shit, that sounds so good. Shit, yeah. Loved it. I love those little Dutch puffergees. Oh, yes. There's a mini pancake. Yeah, I love this too. Gotta love them. A bite size. I'm a banana. Oh my goodness. Yum.

Thank you so much to Kate Jess, Melissa, John, Katie, Daniel, Joe, Felicity and Karen. The last thing we need to do is welcome a few people in our trip to Chicago. We've got five inductees this week. The way it works, but a theater of the mind. If you've been on the shout out level or above for three straight years. If you've been out on the shout out level, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Sorry. My tongue got caught in the machine again. Why do you have the machine attached to your microphone? It's very distracting. I just as soon as we stop recording, I wear my tongue wants to be. Vermont?

It wants to be in Vermont. He's like, oh sir, ready to cream me. We've finished recording. Ready to cream me. He's on stand by. Oh, sorry. So yeah, bit of theater of the mind. There's a club.

Once you've been signed up on the shout out level for three years straight, you get in, you're not allowed to leave, which is a good thing. We can't stress that enough. The place is whatever you want it to be. Some people imagine it as like a beautiful airport lounge or like a Frank Sinatra style Las Vegas club. It could be whatever you want. I think Dave particularly imagines a gym where he pumps iron.

Everyone imagines it differently. Exactly, because in this place, I could be fit. Because it's in the mind. It could be anything. And yeah, like I said, there's five people being inducted this week. I'm standing at the door. I got the input board. They're being induced this week. I've got, yes, we're expecting five.

And so I'm about to read out those names before I do that. Jess is behind the bar. She's worked on a cocktail normally. Yeah. But what's the American nightmare cocktail involved? Um, it's got blood in it. Oh my God. What happened?

It doesn't have blood. It's fake blood, fake blood. Yeah. Yeah. It's got fake blood in it. Where the blood, real blood is in the gutter. It's got some dirt. Okay.

It's got syringe in it. And also, I put it up on the bar, but then I go, I sort of hide around the corner and I look at you. When was the last time you made a cocktail that was drinkable? I forgot to mention it's also far too hot. Oh no! Why have you heated it up?

You know that oven's bulky. It's probably just as well, that means people won't want to drink it. Yeah, don't drink it. Because it sounds like it will kill you. It'll probably You know that oven's bulky. I thought it was just as well as that it means people won't want to drink it. Yeah, don't drink it. It sounds like it will kill you. It'll probably kill you. I'm sorry. Dave, you've booked a bed. Sorry about that.

Jess, stop heating up the drinks. I thought it would be nice. Yeah, I mean, the idea of a hot toddy or something sounds very nice, but not too hot. We've got to fix oven. What is it? It's too hot. Can you just quickly check the temperature? Okay.

Oh, it's too hot. Oh, no, that is. It's 200 degrees. Oh, that is way through hot. What the hell is this? Oh my God. Stop it. It's too hot. All right. Can you just put it in the bin or something to pour it out? The oven? At least the drink. Can we get it serviced? And Dave normally books a band. Yeah, first band, you're never gonna believe it. First, I've opened up an email, I have not looked at my laptop, but just opened up the lid.

First email I've seen, band confirmed this week. And we are being joined by the American metal band, Ice Nine Kills, who's, I can't believe it. I just looked them up, because I didn't know too much about their discography. Second most played song on Spotify, The American Nightmare. Whoa.

Third most played song, Hip to be Scared. Oh, I love a weird alifying of Huey Lewis in the news, but metalify. That sounds awesome. Hip to be Scared. They have another song called Funeral Derangements. Oh, yep. They are metals, weird ale, by the sounds of it.

Yeah, metals of war. What a great niche to find lover Alright, so five names here we go Dave. I know it's been a while but I believe in them up and kind of to say I've listened to a couple of the episodes whilst I was away and Kind of to say it is as hard as it looks Yeah Well, if you got to the episode where I think we got Evan to do it, do we? Oh, wow.

I think we got Sammy P to do it. He took it for a different sort of a spin. Yeah. Evan, or Sammy P, I mean, the best of the best. At what? Evan hasn't... Everything. Every business.

The greatest... That's just a funny thing to say. He's the best of the best. Yeah. At what? What fucking biz? Being podcasting. No. And Evan always has an answer for everything.

So he would have been great too. Bit too malvy. For the other two episodes I'm yet to catch up with what I'm listening, gonna listen to. I'm very excited because I love those guys. All right, so we got five here. Dave hops them up with a bit of weak word play. Jess hops up Dave because he mustn't be feeling good

about himself. All right, so first up. Certainly not. From Newark, New York, in the United States, it's Elizabeth Todd. Oh my god. You're hot toddies!

How big's your tod? Hot toddy, Elizabeth Todd. Not your value. Yeah, your temperature's not your value, but you are burning up. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From, oh my god, right here in Melbourne, Victoria, it's Dominic Who. More like Dominic Huge part of my heart.

Yes! Most of them, honestly. The ventricles and other such things. All the bits and pieces are you, Dominic you. And finally from Huntington and Huntington in Cambridge, Great Britain, it's Cheryl Render. You have rendered me shook with how amazing you are. My god, god, it's good to have him back.

Cheryl Render. I forgot how amazing you are. God, it's good to have him back. Cheryl Render. I forgot how good he was. Yeah. Thank you so much to Cheryl Dominic, Elizabeth, Mick and McCann. Make yourselves at home. Please do not touch the cocktails, but every other cocktail just has ever come up with. They're still there ready to go. Exactly.

So like the first couple of hundred weeks. Yeah. If you go back to maybe two years, I think there's some pretty delicious ones. Some pretty edible things. Yeah, sorry about that. That brings to the end of the episode. Anything we need to tell before we go, Boppa? Just that we're sorry.

About that. What's the temperature now? I don't want to tell you. Please. It's 240 now. 240 is climbing. It's gone up. It's gone up by a lot and I'm really scared.

Jeeps. And I keep forgetting. That dirt shouldn't be at that temperature. So maybe, yeah, I mean check back in next week, see if we're still here, if the oven hasn't exploded. You can suggest a topic over at dugonpod.com. That's our website. You can find us at dugonpod.com, across social media.

You can check us out on tiktok and instagram and well twitter but i'm not on there is anybody tweeting anymore i'm not really i haven't tweeted in a long time now will anderson's back on there oh okay then i'm back okay i i stick around because uh yeah like tony martin does his best work there david astell i think i met more like are any of us updating our twitter oh i do I do. Okay, great. Thanks, Matt. Great. Good for you. Because I don't and I forget every time I'm hopeless. What's your problem with Elon?

Just useless. Anyway, where I come from, brains should be celebrated. Elon or me? Both of you. Thank you. I think I put both of you. I don't think you need to feel challenged by Elon's intellect. Oh, the other thing to say as well is that our email and DMs are open for your apologies,

which you all owe us because Dave is fine. Oh, yes. I'm more than fine. I'm going great. I'm so happy. Any questions about his news? Just yeah, director Dave. He has not, I keep saying it.

He hasn't once said said don't do it. I absolutely have. Oh, okay. I'm saying it again. I haven't been listening to you. So. And if you're looking for another podcast, why not listen to our great editors cult pop chair?

Yes. A.J. from New Zealand does a fantastic job. We love A.J. You could also listen to primates, like I say, and who knew when that's sure. And Dave, have you noticed that people are still loving book cheat? You're on hiatus at the moment and the people just keep tuning in. Oh, thank you so much everyone for tuning in. Yeah, there's I think 98 episodes in the back catalog. So, you know, think of a classic, I might have done it. The big hundredth episode, I think.

Have you? I'm going to jump out of the cake. You're going to give me a cake? No, I'm going to jump out of the cake. Yeah, you won't get. You don't get to have the cake. I have to supply the cake. Yes.

Damn it. But I have to get in it. That's still quite a spectacle. If I'm not there, I will have a tongue proxy. You can taste the cake. I can still taste the cake. It's still taste the cake. It's it's nice to have you back because I like to get you to boot at home. So do it.

An absolute pleasure to be back. Thank you so much for listening to this show. We'll be back next week with another fantastic episode. That's the do go on promise. But until then, also, thank you so much for listening and good bye. Later. Bye. go on promise but until then I also thank you so much for listening and goodbye!