Do Go On - 439 - Taffy Holden's Accidental Flight

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

On this week's episode we talk about the time a man accidentally flew a fighter jet. Yes, you read that correctly.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 11:01 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.danrostron.com/2013/10/14/wing-commander-taffy-holdens-inadvertant-flight-in-lightning-xm135/ https://theconversation.com/almost-half-the-men-surveyed-think-they-could-land-a-passenger-plane-experts-disagree-218037 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/off-duty-pilot-lands-plane-saves-3640802 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holden%27s_Lightning_flight https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk-down_aircraft_landing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to another episode of Doogone. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. I'm a special guest. I'm a regular feature here.

Some people call me part of the furniture. Dave, you're fine. I just want to let it, you know, and the audience know. Dave, no, don't. You're fine. Jess, you're fine. Say it with confidence. You're fine.

There it is. And I want to give you a fine for that. Oh, yeah, I think that's fair enough. I mean, I was a little riff to get us going, warming us up. He's a feminist. Oh, okay, sorry, so, so, so. Because, well, I mean, here's something that I want to put to you. It's a question, but I think we all know the answer.

How hot are women? Yeah. Yeah, okay? Yeah. And how good is it to be alive? These are questions I ask and answer really good. And no doubt about it. Uh-huh.

I think they're in reverse order. Yeah, flip them around. But otherwise, yeah, no, it's good. Thanks for having me on your podcast. Yeah, thanks for being here. We like to elevate women. That's why I'm lifting you up above my head right now. And we'll cut all this riff out.

I assume AJ, our great editor, will probably clean this up, make us all sound pretty good. And there's one way to get to this fantastic riff even quicker each week. And that is we've started uploading our episodes, new episodes, to Patreon. Ad free. Yeah, that's right. It's exciting. If the ads drive you absolutely bloody bananas, you can listen to them ad free on Patreon.

But if I can just, can I just get in real close for a second? I'm just asking Matt and Dave. Oh, yeah. If you don't mind if I have a quick word with them as well. Okay, we'll, yeah, we'll, me and Dave will chat amongst ourselves. This is sort of off the record. Okay. Just between us as well.

Is that all right, Dave said she does that. If you, if you don't mind the ads or if you're in a position where you can, and just like skip ahead, do that. Keep listening on the ads because that's how we keep the lights on in the studio. But yeah, so if that doesn't bother you, keep doing that. But if the ads are really annoying, or you're in the car and you can't skip or whatever, or you're sneakily listening at a workplace where you're not supposed to have headphones on, but you do.

And you're like, I can't get my phone out to skip ahead. That's okay. Listen to the ad free one. But, you know, just a balance. Yeah. Oh, hey, sorry, Jess, before you go on, can I just, you two, just give me a moment. I just want to, if the advertisers are listening, can you come in? I just want to talk to the advertisers.

Okay, we'll just talk to myself. Hey, advertisers, don't worry about what Jess said there. It's all nonsense. I'm going to let the listeners know now that they should really support all your products, and if anything that we plug, we really believe in, and I think that's important that they know that. So I'll let them know that in a second. Okay. Sorry, guys.

Do you mind if I quickly talk to the listeners again? Sure, who feel? Hey, listeners come in just quickly. Actually, Dave, can you come in as well? Yeah, yeah, hey, hey, hey, what's going on? Do you mind letting the listeners know about the advertisers and that they should, you know, support them? Yeah, yeah, hey, hey, guys, you should really, really support these advertisers. Some of them are struggling.

You don't realize this. You don't actually have to whisper. You don't actually do a stage whisper, otherwise people listening in the car cannot hear you. I said, I just want to say. You're supporting so much. Just like, just do this with your hands and it creates a bit of a... And I can step back in further. Yeah, there you go.

So what I want. You are just so important. We will continue to support. Okay, I'm just going to jump in because... Just so sorry. It's nearly to have descended into chaos, isn't it? And now a word from our sports. But yeah, exciting.

We do have ad free on the Patreon at the... The bonus level or above, which means you also get access to 210 bonus episodes, also ad free, plus three every month. Soon to be four new ones every single month. So it is actually

it's a pretty good deal if anything we're underselling ourselves there just so that you know that if you are like should I join over? Yeah. Okay.

Trust me. You won't regret it. And we'll see you there. Patreon.com slash do go one pod. Now with that out the way Matt, how the bloody hell does this show work? Oh so one of the three of us

usually when Dave's here and a little eye roll there. Many bloody toes up for one. Okay, guys, all right. One of the three of us will go away, research a topic. Well, I will go away. It's when it will be on the show.

Normally, the topic's been suggested by a listener. We'll just really soak ourselves in the topic. We'll fill a bath up full of the topic, and we'll just sit in there and just let it flow over us for sometimes a week, two weeks. Sometimes, you know, time pressure is on a couple of days. A couple of minutes. A couple of minutes. That's harder. And then we bring back that knowledge in the form of kind of like a school oral presentation.

It's like you're in year 11 again. We never say we're at a year 12 level. No, no. Oh, God. We're not doing like Harvard referencing or anything. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And this week, Dave is doing the report his first one in what feels like probably a few months, I reckon. And he...

Yeah, first one of the year, is it? Yeah. And he is... For you... Well... Sorry, recording. My last one was in January, I blue. Yep.

That came out. And, yes, to get onto the topic, the report giver asks a question. Dave, do you have a question this week? Yes, but maybe I've forgotten how to ask a question because this one, you can both this answer on your own time. Looking for an answer from both of you. So I imagine it's an easy point out of the way. It's just like, what's your favorite color?

It kind of. It's just, do you think that in an emergency, you could land a plane? Oh, my God. Okay. Well, I don't think I could land a plane outside of an emergency. So inside of an emergency? Yeah, I think so. It's like that thing where you can lift a car.

Yeah, adrenaline. In an emergency. In an emergency. Isn't there some sort of insane statistic that, like a huge percentage of men? Yes, absolutely. So basically, I've talked about this with my wife for many years because every time we get on a plane, she has said for years, I think in an emergency, I'd be able to land a plane with radio assistance. Someone who's telling me what to do. Is this the same woman who doesn't think you can have a hit song?

She doesn't think I can have enough... She believes in herself, though. If there was enough confidence to go around, that'd be nice. She's saving it all for herself. She thinks she could have enough one. But this question, Jess, you're absolutely right, hit the media last year because in January 2020, 23, 20,000 adult Americans will ask the question.

This is the wording, how confident are you that you could safely land a passenger airplane in an emergency situation relying only on the assistance of air traffic control? 30% of the responders were confident they could and of the men asked that figure rise to 50%. Incredible. Incredible.

So, Matt, you and me, I'm a no. Oh, damn it. I guess I'm a yes, then. You have to be a yes. Damn and I hate stats. But also three of us, who would you trust? Well, you, of course. You, three of us.

Because if we bring women back into it, that's 30%. It's a yes from you. That's almost, you know? I've seen you park a car. I mean, what's landing a plane, apart from parking, a big flying car? I think I would actually, I think, I think I would, if it was down to the three of us, I'd be like, Matt, do it. Would you? Yeah, he's the oldest.

That's what he's got the least to live for. He's sometimes, but most of the time he's pretty good in a cry. I think, yeah, in like a stressful situation, he's pretty good. Yeah, I think you are good. My brain slows down. Yeah. But that's good. Even further.

But when, is you panic? Is it like time slows down or you don't respond to time around you? I think, yeah, I think, I think, yeah, everything goes in slow motion. you would have seen me like in a thing where it looks like I'm zipping around, like almost to the point you can't even see me. Yeah. You know, and I'm moving like, I'm putting, changing your hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I like, whoa, what happened there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that. Right. And you've got like sort of three little cups on the ground and you're sort of going, which one is it? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, that X-Men scene. Yeah. That was based on me. Yeah. You know, that X-Men scene where that guy zips around. Mr. Zippy? Yeah. Mr. Zippy.

Yeah. My favorite ex-man. Mr. Zippy. But to just answer your question, I don't think I could, no. Because it's two nose and yes. If it was like, so it's a commercial plane, there's so many other people on the plane. Yeah, that's the crazy part, isn't it? Yeah.

Somebody else is going to have more, like, a better chance. If it's like a little two-person plane and I'm the other person. You have to do it. Yeah. Well, obviously, because otherwise, how the fuck do I get down? Nobody can come up to me, can they? That is more what we're going to talk about today. When I was in the Bahamas, have I talked about this on the podcast?

I had to take a very small plane from one island to another, and they weighed us on and put us on in wait order, and I was the last to get on the plane. You're the heaviest on the... No, it was the lightest. Even though there were three teenage girls, one who was probably 13 years old, but I was still at the back.

Actually, no, maybe she was just behind me. So I think from now on you should line up in terms of who's most confident to land a plane. Yeah, that's what first class should be up the back. Yeah. First class should be reserved for people who... Pilots. Can fly the plane. I agree.

Which means rich people, I mean, apart from those ones who are like pilots, they're useless and they can be the back. They don't have any real skills, rich people. Except for you're like... Yeah, John Travolters. Have a license in everything. Yeah. Yeah, I think that is a thing as well that rich people do. But often, because you always hear about them dying in plane crashes.

So that doesn't give you a confidence. Just because they have to lie. license, you know, John Denver, Hunsy Cronier. I think there's a helicopter. Oh, well, there you go. Different. I don't know why I know that. There's a right.

Was it right? It's also, I would, I think if I had, if I had booked a ticket on that plane and then we get there and they say, we just have to weigh you all and load you onto the plane in order of weight, I'd be like, I'll stay here, thanks. I'll walk. I'll be right. It was. And then also the, as they, the two apart.

got on board and you can see them there right there. There's no separation. It's one of those tiny planes. And then they make what I assume was a safety announcement. You couldn't hear it over the engine. So I had no idea what was going on. But anyway, to answer my own question, was I correct? I was not.

He died in a plane crash 2002. Okay. If Farnsey Crone, yeah, or John Denver's families are listening. I'm sorry if I sounded a bit flippant there. May they rest in peace. Great. So becoming a professional pilot takes years of study, simulation and supervised practice.

Landing is arguably the hardest part of flying a plane, especially in a large commercial jet. The Conversation.com breaks it down as to land. Brocks it down. That doesn't know. Ruff, rough. It's fine when he does it. Breaks it down.

That was great. I thought you said I said barks it down. That's why I said it. No, he said bryx it down. You just went like full Aussie suburban accent. Ah, bryks it down. Just appealing to the battle is out there. In the suburbs.

In the suburbs. Bikes it down. All right, guys. You know what they're like out in the burbs? How's the burbs something that Dave's not experienced with? You never get out of the burbs, do you, Dave. I've never met any of them. You stay over there.

The D and CBD is Dave. Central business, Dave. To land successfully, a pilot must keep an appropriate speed while simultaneously managing gear and flap configuration adhering to. We've got off to a weird one, haven't we? Flap. That's fun. Flap configuration.

Yeah, what's your flap configuration? Two up, one down. Okay. Two up, one down. You've got three flaps. And one I won't talk about. That's private. You've got to adhere to air traffic regulation,

communicate with air traffic control, and complete a number of paper and digital checklists. Right. So I imagine you're not doing the paper checklist whilst you're in an emergency, maybe. I don't know. Well, that's why you're in a bloody emergency, mate. Yeah. Failed or prepare? Prepare to fail.

That's right. Once the aircraft comes close to the runway, they must accurately judge its height, reduce power, and adjust the rate of descent, ensuring they land on the correct area of the runway, not slightly to the left. Okay. You know?

Yeah, hang and left. Yeah. Yeah, some people's flaps do. Yeah, if you two up one down, you will hang to the left. That's right. I think, yeah, like, Bond Scott famously hung to that. You could only tell because of his tight jeans when he flew a plane. What are we?

I don't know. I will have a little time out. On the ground, they were used the brakes and reverse thrust to bring the aircraft to a complete stop before the runway ends. And this all happens just within a few minutes. And all of this isn't actually just a hypothetical because there's quite a few incidents of people being forced to land planes that they hadn't previously planned on doing so. Jesus Christ. And many are cataloged on what is officially my fourth favorite Wikipedia page. Oh my God.

Wikipedia. It's a website that catalogs my favorite pages. And we've now have four. That's interesting. It's got four pages. I'm quite familiar with one and two, as in inventors killed by their own inventions. That's perfect. That's number one.

Number two. Number two is sexually active posts. The list of sexually active posts. Number three? I don't know three. And I do now know four is people who've had to land planes. Number three is list of churches. in Antarctica, which I found quite interesting.

Oh, yeah. And number four, talk down aircraft landing. I'd swap those two, I reckon. I think this one might be a bit more interesting than churches in Antarctica. But it's your list. Yeah, I'd never known that this page, I just came across originally, Talkdown Aircraft Landing. And the page begins, a talkdown landing may be attempted in the event of the death or incapacitation of an aircraft

pilot. It involves a passenger or other unqualified person flying the aircraft, to a landing with assistance from radioed instructions, either from the ground or a nearby aircraft. I don't think I've ever seen a movie involving a plane where they haven't had to be talked through the landing. There's never been a successful landing. Like a Chekhov's cockpit. If you see a cockpit, those parts are going to die.

They're going down. Okay, what about the movie spy? Hmm, gotcha. Ooh, I don't know if I know that one. It's great movie. Is that the only exception? It's a Melissa McCarthy. It's very funny.

Jason Statham's in it. But there's a perfect landing. Yeah. By a living pilot. No. Well, there you go. Oh, you're saying, I thought you were finding an exception. Yeah.

You're just giving me another example. But the pilots have been, pilots aren't living. Yeah. So another person lands the plane without help. That's what I'm saying that every move with a plane, that's what happens. That somebody can land a plane. Yeah. Matt saying that the pilot.

If you see a pilot in a movie, that pilot will not land that plane. In the history of Hollywood, somebody else will without help. I understand. A pilot has never landed a plane. Yeah. Successfully. Obviously, in Die Hard, they crash. Dihad, too.

Kurt Russell and executive decision. Great movie. Yeah. I thought you might like that one. It's a really good one. It's good fun. What a cast. I haven't seen it.

I've just watched the second half of it recently. Oh, David Soucher. I couldn't like David Soucher. Oh. It is a, like, Like every single person is a star. Steven Seagal? Oh my God.

I talked about it on the Leguizamaama with Mission Zach. Oh, nice. You got that and I got one where they spoke Shakespearean the whole time. Was it, Romeo and Juliet? Yeah, some shit like that. Some art house crap. No one's ever heard of. It was all these and these and fibrillie doos and fibli doers.

Yep, that's Shakespeare. That's Shakespeare. Very Shakespeareian I found. Shakespeare? Yeah, I agree. To a fault. Yeah. It's like, think of your own thing.

God damn it, man. You're a living parody of someone else. There is no record of a talkdown landing of a large commercial aircraft. So when everyone says, I could do that. No one has actually done that. Okay, good. They have, however, been incidents where qualified pilots, traving as passengers or flight attendants on commercial flights,

have taken the co-pilot seat to assist the pilot. I've been on planes twice where they've radioed and asked if there was a doctor on board. It's always an ominous call. Yeah, that's, I don't like that. A bit scary, but imagine if you heard, uh, let's gentlemen, uh, just wondering, uh, is there a pilot on board? No one, panic. If there's a doctor as well, that would be great, but probably more pressing as a pilot.

What they're hoping, more than anything, is for a response to come. Uh, yes. I'm in 7B. I'm heading up to the, uh, cockpit now. I'm to start finishing my meal here. I chose the pasta and it's not too bad for plain food. I always choose the pasta. Yeah.

Safe, safe option. So this exact example happened in December 2013. A United Boeing 737 was travelling from Des Moines, Iowa to Denver, Colorado. Des Moines, Iowa, Bill Bryson's from there. Guess someone had to be. 30 minutes into the flight. Mike Gungle. I don't know.

I don't say this out. loud yet. Gongol. Mike Gongol. Gondgol. Gondol. Like Gondol. Who was travelling with his wife. First noticed something was up when he saw the engines power down to idle and then the aircraft began to descend and bank steeply to the right. And it was only then they thought, hang on. Something's not right here. But it was only an astute pilot that could notice that the engines had stopped and that they were in free fall. They were going rounded circles. We're veering so far to the right. We're just going round and round. This is not quite hard. We were making progress before.

Now we're doing loop-de-loops. It's very strange. Side-loop-de-loops. But everyone else is just watching The Incredibles, too. They had no idea. Yeah. Looking out of the window. Man, imagine if you ever got through a film like that.

Imagine. Is that the one that I kept falling asleep to when you guys? Was it cars? No, it was incredible. I think it was Incredibles. So, Mike on goal knew a thing or two about planes because he was an Air Force captain who usually piloted B-1B-B bombers. B-1-B bombers.

That's awesome. B-1-B bombers. Linden be flying a B-1B bomber Imagine that I said it out loud Now I'm saying Is that right? That's ridiculous

B-1B bomber I'm maybe a B-1B bomber pilot Let me know if you want me to leave the studio for a bit Just Just put your hand up And I'll understand So he noticed something was up First the address came over the PA

Is there a doctor on board No one wants to hear that It's always worrying And then a few minutes later Is anyone a pilot Please ring your call button Mike Gongol's wife said, I think you better ring. He's like, oh, we're on a holiday.

Off the clock. Come on. But imagine like, here's the thing. Let's say I was a nurse or a paramedic, right? And they say, is there a doctor here? I would be like, I'm going to stand back just a little bit. I'm a here if you need. But I'm not going to ring my bell.

You're a hero if you need, yep. I'm not going to ring my call button straight away, you know, just in Because I don't want to get up there and then, like, there's a surgeon. I'm like, all right, well, you've got it. Step aside. You know? But... I'm a doctor of philosophy. I'll enter this one.

I'll take this one. I'll amputate. All right, here we go. I'll amputate with a pen. I'm a doctor of podcasting. I'll take this one. Yeah, and I get up the front of you're a paramedic, and I'm like, technically a doctor, you know, I'm, you know, outrank you.

So nurse slash paramedic with 15 years experience, take a seat. Who's experienced in a memory. urgency and trauma. Let me tell you about the Joe Rogan effect. Yeah. Right. So I wonder if he's like, I am, yeah, I am a pilot, but not of these. Imagine if I ring the bell and then somebody else goes, oh, good, he's got it. And then they actually fly these exact planes. Yeah, but I think that would be a relief in a way, because the responsibility is taken away from you. Or you think it was just embarrassing. It'd be embarrassing. You're going, I only, I don't know, it's such a funny thing to be thinking. It's a plane's crashing. Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed. Oh, I just, I can't put myself out there.

I was vulnerable. I put myself out there. And I look like, I look a fool. I would prefer to die in a plane crash. Well, that is what anxiety is sometimes. Yeah. I've had those thoughts sometimes like, oh, imagine if you, I just didn't exist. That way, I wouldn't have to say hello to this stranger. There's a person whose name I can't remember.

This new job. So embarrassing. Will they remember? They probably won't remember me. No. Anyway, that's what I think. Yeah. I'll definitely die of politeness one day.

Yep. I will not speak up. I'll kill you because he's so polite. I said, give me the finger. You'll be too nice to a waiter and I'll sleep. And I'll say, please, thank you. Too far, sorry. May I have another, please.

So, Mike on goal buzzed. He was lusted to the front of the plane and saw that the captain had suffered a massive heart attack. He was still alive and being cared for by a nurse. Great. Linda L. Weiss, who was flying home via Denver with her husband and daughter. Linda had also entered the first call for help, but the pilot was obviously in no state to control the plane.

Because he's had a massive heart attack. Yeah, big one. I mean, does this someone we would talk about? Because you only ever hear him as being massive. Or I guess minor heart attack. We're never a mid-y. But are there two pilots? Yes, there's the first officer.

Yep. So someone was called the co-pilot. Kareem Abduljabar. I think maybe played that role in Flying High. I was going to say, did I not notice him in the executive decision? There was so many actors in there. I could have missed him. Mark Gonger was introduced to the first officer in the cockpit,

who was now in charge of the aircraft. And she asked Mark, A woman. Wow. Plot twist. A female pilot. She just, sometimes we all have blind spots and yours is you don't believe women can do anything. And I believe they can.

That's not true. I was just pointing out that a woman was a pilot. I think that's rad. That's great. And she said, well, Dave and I weren't even pointing it out because to us it's just the thing that it can happen and it's not surprising. Yeah, of course you don't think about it. You don't live in a world where you're oppressed by your own people because you're men. So shut the fuck up.

Well, I don't like to put labels on things like that. Do go on, Dave. She asked Mark, are you a pilot? He recalled to CNN. And he said, are you? Well, he said, there was a moment. We both had about five seconds to size each other up. She was wondering about my level of experience.

Was I a Cessna driver or a professional pilot? Because you imagine someone's like, yeah, I fly those little planes on the weekend. And it took minutes to do that? That's a quick question. What kind of pilot are you? She said five seconds. He said five seconds. So you want to pipe down now?

You want to pipe down? I was Mr. Zippy right then. And five seconds to make us to make sure. You slowed down. He said, I want to make sure she was okay. I had the feeling that she was better than okay. She had already made the decision to turn the plane around towards the nearest airport. So he's like, all right, she's a very professional.

I've told her I'm in the Air Force. We're cool with each other. Let's do this. He's like, no, nah, nah, because of some decisions she made, I figured out that she was a professional. It's like, well, she's got the uniform, my mate, and she's in the cockpit. She is a professional.

She's qualified. That's true. I figured out she's all right. Unfortunately, though, it's like every job where you want to think they're all great. Yeah, yeah. But like doctors and plumbers and everyone else, there's good ones and there's shit ones. There's some that are technically qualified, but should they be doing the job? That's right.

Well, I guess that like, it's a pretty stressful situation for anyone to be like, okay. Yeah. Pilot is down, possibly dying. my colleague back there. Yeah. But he was like, all right, she's calm, she's cool, this is great. The first officer had never landed at Omaha Airport where they had been redirected, but Mark, during his training, had done so.

Great. And he assured the first officer that he could talk her down. This meant he didn't take the controls, but he worked the radio, communicated with air traffic controllers, updating them on the condition of the captain, the passengers in the aircraft. And the plane landed with that incident and everyone was fine. Oh, great. The pilot managed to survive his heart attack following the quick thinking actions of the nurse,

Linda. after the landing, Mike Gongor quietly slipped out the back door with his family and the incident actually wasn't reported on in the media for six months and then the story started to blow up and all these media people started reaching out to him. But on that day, he was just like,

I'll leave you to it then. I'll just go get my carry on and I'll see you later. If you're his wife, you know, because you know what he does, but you don't get to see it in action and then you're like, he goes up to the cockpit,

the plane lands normally. Yeah, why do you think? I'd be horny and shit. Why do you think they slipped out so quick? Let's check in quick. That was the hottest thing you've ever done. Other than that time you unloaded the dishwasher. Leave the aviators on, no.

Come in to land this one. Big Goggle. What's his name? Goggle. Gongul. Gongul. Gongul. Yeah, right.

Wow, that was a shorter episode than I was expected. Yeah. I'm okay with that. It's good for, you know, have some short ones every now and then. Don't you worry. Don't you worry. Oh. These are some of the other examples of talk down landings.

That's the one that I found, the most report on one where it's like an airliner. Yeah. Passenger plane, big one. But in 2000, Henry George Onholt, his wife and three sons, who were 11, 7 and 2, were flying in the Bahamas, probably, probably, probably, probably. Probably sitting in Wade Auto, when their pilot collapsed at the control. Two years at the front. He's a big boy. Yeah, it's a big shot.

Would they have just been swimming with the piggyes? Yeah, probably. That's Bahamas? That's the Bahamas. Wow. And that's what I was doing that day. I was flying down to to Staniel Key. Hey, Dave, can you please do an episode about swimming with pigs?

Why are there pigs there swimming? I need you to do an episode about it. I refuse to look it up. Don't look it up. And refuse to just ask you in person. Well, I have asked him, but he refuses to answer when we're not recording a podcast. That's exactly. That's just because you guys are always feuding.

Yeah, off pod. My God, I'm not going to give you free information. I hate his guts. Yeah, but on pod? On pod. Love him to death. What a guy. Love my guts?

Love your guts. I want to get in there. Want to jiggle him around. Jiggly guts around. So, the family's on board. His wife, his three sons, 11, 7, and 2, the pilot suddenly collapsed at the controls. No one else on board had ever flown a plane before, not even the two-year-old. What?

What's that kid doing? Surely, that's how he would eat his food. Wow. He missed every time. So actually, not a hungry boy. Not a big boy, very hungry boy. They were flying in a Piper Cherokee 6, which is. considered a high-performance aircraft and requires advanced training to fly.

And to make matters worse, they were running out of fuel. Shit. Henry, this is the dad, jumped on the radio to call for help. Fortunately, a plane nearby piloted by a flight instructor, Dan McCulloch, heard his call and was able to instruct Henry on how to land, and they landed safely, and Henry and his family were fine. What? Isn't that while...

So there was a... It just so happens that there was not only another pilot nearby, but a flight instructor. Somebody whose job it is to teach you to fly. So, so fortunate, because you're running out of fuel. But in that situation, I cannot imagine how stressed you're going to be. You've got your three young children back there. Yeah. Everyone's, I imagine, freaking out.

Yeah. The pilot is, you know, down. He's probably just happy to get a bit of peace and quiet. Yeah, having a little snooze. Yeah. If you don't shut up back there, I'm going to turn this plane around. Yeah. I'm going to learn how to fly this plane and then I'm going to turn it around.

The instructor said, I told him great job. That was his first flight. lesson. He needed to find a logbook and I'd sign him off on his sole. I wonder if he kept flying after that, if he got the bug. You're like, maybe I'm really good at this. I got a knack for it. Do you think that story is going to help 50% of our male listeners who believe that they can fly a plane? Because so far, they have been able to. So far. In April 2012, 81-year-old pilot, John Collins was flying a twin engine

Cessna 414 in Wisconsin when he lost consciousness. Lost wisk consciousness. The pun master is there. That's a pun? That's fantastic. That's not a pun, is it? It's something. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it is. A wordplay, something like that. Officially something. Is it a portmanteau? You love those, Bob. Yeah, I love a portmanteau. I think of portmanteaus as being the podcast joke. It's just like, you see.

Yeah, yeah. Podcasts, they just sit around and they go. Just wait for two words that's going to mush these words together. Yeah. It's got to be the worst kind of comedy, but a bit of fun. Exactly. It's a freebie. What am I going to leave this freebie there? Low-hanging fruit is still fruit, guys.

We've got to fill the minute somehow. How else do I get my fructose in my diet? Exactly. You want me to climb up the tree and get some of that high-hanging fruit? So, 81-year-old John Collins, he's flying. He's passed out. His only passenger was his 80-year-old wife, Helen Collins, who herself was very frail having undergone two open heart surgeries quite recently.

Why the fuck are they flying? I know. It's so crazy. Why are you flying? It's so crazy. Her only experience with flying was having piloted a single engine aircraft over three decades earlier. Yeah, but it's like riding a bike. Yeah.

But this is a twin engine. It's a bit more complicated and now she's 80 and very frail. Why the fuck are they in the plane? I'm not blaming them. Yeah. I think they were going to meet up with their son. Cool. Drive a car.

He was also a pilot and he said, I can fly you or something like that. And the dad said, oh, no, I'll just do this short flight. Yeah. And then from there on, you can fly the rest of the way. It's interesting how Jess was just talking about being oppressed and now she's oppressing the elderly. So I just want to put that on the record. It's interesting. That's all I'm saying.

I'm not saying which way it's interesting. I'm not making any judgments. I'm just putting that out there and letting the listeners make their own mind up. I'm with Jess on this one. Why would you fly the plane? You're flying a plane. She just had open heart surgery. Why are you flying a plane?

You kids don't understand. Old people are still people. Just. I would be saying that about a 30-year-old who'd had open-heart surgery recently. I'd be saying, why are you flying a plane? That's interesting. That's true. But, no, so was her husband flying a plane?

It's more about the conditions. But the wife's now, you know, the only one consciousness? Yeah, but when it's just two of you, you have to have the thought of if something happens to me. Yeah, who's going to fly the plane? You have to have that thought. So she jumped on the radio. She was able to contact air traffic controllers, and a pilot of a shadow aircraft then provided instruction.

So they started flying near them. Helen circled the airport for an hour and a half, making several attempts to line up with the runway. She was just having a great time by the sounds of it. Well, with the engines spluttering from lack of fuel, she knew she had only one final attempt before the engines were going to cut out. This is when, but this is when she turns on. It was make or break.

What's it, Joan Collins, was it? Helen Collins. Helen Collins. Very close to helicopter. Again, you see words that sound similar, so you make a comment about it. Yeah. That's how easy it is. I think this is going to be like that sex whistle show where everyone started a band afterwards.

Everyone's going to start a podcast. I could do that. I can merge words together. Oh, it's that easy. It's that easy. It's that even. My God. Which is really fun to think of people out there going, do you think I could do a podcast?

Yeah. It's recorded in your phone. phone. It's, it is very easy to do. Similar to playing punk music. And landing a plane, apparently. So she had one final attempt, it was make or break. Earlier she had said to her instructors, don't you guys have faith in me? I can do this. But moments before landing, she said, I don't think I can do this. She'd lost confidence after several attempts. Well, that's what happens when you're around people who would suck your confidence away. True. Fortunately, she was able to crash land the plane. Which is why it was so good. She looked.

lost all the fuel, right? That actually is good. Yeah, let's fuel on board. Less flammable liquid without serious injury. Okay. She was okay. Her son Richard told ABC News, I can't even tell her how to run a computer, let alone land a plane. Everybody is so proud of her.

That's awesome. Yeah, I can't teach my mom anything about a phone. You need a, you need a level of separation. Other people could instruct Helen on how to land a plane, but her son wouldn't have been able to. He'd be getting frustrated. Yeah. Mama! Mom, please. Please. Mum. Helen Copter. Please. Please. Double click. Click it twice. That means click it twice.

No, like, quickly together. Like, tip, not one and then wait five seconds and again. The one on the left hand side, I know there's two buttons. Oh, my God. One of the rare genuinely good ads, I think there's two that's ever been. The one with Wayne Hope as the chef. using a blender to make soup. And the other one was a son, an adult son telling his elderly mother about setting up call waiting. And, do you know this ad? And she's like, all right, we've set it up. Now I'm going to call the phone.

Or setting up an answering service. I'm going to call the phone, let it ring, and we'll see if it gets through. So he's funny. And she goes, ooh, the phone. And picks it up and answers it. That's good stuff. And I think it happens like three times. That's fun.

That's basically the Mr. Thompson joke from The Simpsons. I think he's talking to you. I wonder what came first. Yeah, great question. Do you think the Simpsons are ripping off Australian phone ads? I think they could be. I will say there is some sad news and that is her husband John didn't survive. Oh, no.

You had a heart attack. I suppose she'd been up flying around for like an hour and a half. Oh, Jesus. You know, hadn't got him to hospital quickly. But. Dave, please don't put. that on her? Oh, no, not putting that on her.

She actually said in an interview that she was, she was like, as soon as you had the big heart attack, I knew. Yeah. But like, you know, sadly. So that's, that's sad. In October 2013, a 77-year-old, these old pilots, Englishman John Wildley, who had served in the Royal Air Force, but not as a pilot, controlled a plane for over an hour and landed it safely in the dark after the pilot of the plane he was on also died at the control.

But he had been in the Air Force. Yes. He'd been around it. Sometimes I think I'd be an okay hairdresser because I've watched my and law work a lot. Like she's cut my hair on and I've watched her and I'm like, I can do it. Yeah, you do that angled thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, they do that thing where they sort of go, chip, chip, chip, chip. Yeah, I think I could do it a go. You ask what they're doing. Ask what they're doing on the weekend. Ask how their family is. Easy. My brother's a carpenter. I reckon I can build a house.

Really? Good one. Yeah, you can probably do a podcast. Yeah, so it's not just blunt. Yeah, you don't want blunt in wood. Yeah, really. straight edges. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, oh, that stands out. So, yeah, I get that. He's in the Air Force. Yeah, and he's been around and love. He's absorbed it. He was, again, instructed via the radio. Okay, but sometimes you're all on your own. Ugh.

And the final and main story I want to share is, to be honest, a whole different ballgame to these other stories. This is, uh... It's cricket. Okay, it's on the table. I had a cricket story. There wasn't enough word account, so I've had it out with my fourth favorite Wikipedia page, soon.

Are we having fun or not? Now, this one's been suggested by Stephen Groom from Wakefield in Yorkshire, who suggested this one he wrote, anyone can suggest a topic at any time at do go on pod.com, and then you can tell us why we should do the topic, and he wrote, this story takes place in 1966, which I believe is the year Aussie Jack Brabham won the Formula One World Championship. Wow.

Perhaps the only known sporting achievement that year. And that's actually not true. I looked it up. Chicago Bulls performed that year. Other stuff happened in sport. John Pullman beat Fred Davis 5-2 in matches of the World Snooker Championships. There was one other sporting event in 1960s. Do you know that?

I didn't know that, no. So a big year for sport, but not that big, only two sporting events. It's a great fact about 1966. No, no, no. Anyway, I think. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, let's just continue there, Dave. Not sure, we have time to. One of the one and only, just putting my finger on Matt's lips.

Oh, you want me to give you a little kid? I thought you might have had a sore on your finger. Kiss you better. I had a little cut. Kissy better. I thought you might be sort of trying to trim his mustache with the scissors. I reckon I could. I reckon I could.

Would you trust me to cut? your hair? Yeah, of course. Of this. I mean, I obviously don't give a shit about my hair. Dave is the guy you want to ask the question too. Your hair is getting as low as mine. I don't think Dave ever has a single hair out of place. Yeah, you can have a go. You can't stuff it over there. Short back and size, a little bit off the top. Yeah. I love Jimmy Barnes talking about his, the chisel bass player. In an interview once, he said, oh, everyone, it was always standing at the front, not a single hair out of place. He didn't mention his bass playing or he's like...

No, it's a good hair. Jeez, he had good hair. Great hair. Phil Smalls, big Phil Smalls. We hide him because of his hair. I think great. This is a, Stephen Groom. I'm pretty sure that's a powerful, a do-go-on-listening family, the grooms.

I think there's multiple grooms. Is he a groom? Well, I don't, you know, yes. There's another one. Name it, name more. Phil Groom? Bill Groom, yeah. Jackie Groom.

Jackie Groom Yep Greg Groom Groom Greg Groom Greg Groom Greg Groom is so good

Greg groom Greg groom Greg Groom You guys got enough Greg groom back there There you go That's what

That's what we're talking about Greg room It sounds like legroom There's something in that And it's And it's such a funny It's such a cute And funny thing

We all say As soon as somebody You got enough Legroom back there I can move to A seat for It's fine. Honestly, I don't think I've asked that question a lot.

No one has ever said, actually, could you move forward? But everyone's like, even if their knees are touching their eyebrows, they're like, I'm good. I'm fine. This is fine. It's roomy back here. Oh, it's roomy back here. I can't wait to have a Greg in the back seat.

Got enough Greg room back there? That's going to be a great moment. That's good stuff. Someone's going to get to do that today. Someone's at home going, my son's name's Greg. Get into the car. Get in the car. Get in the car.

In no, with the back seat. Greg, quick. Quick, grabbing him out of bed. They're listening in the middle of the night. Greg, get out of a car. Get out of a car. Get out of a car. Not the front seat.

No. Get the back. Greg's crying. Hey, Greg, you got to have Greg green back there? What's going on? That was fun. Go back to bed. Greg.

Go to your room. We got it. Why are you up young man? Greg groom. It's past your bedtime, young man. Ah, Greg groom. Greg room. That's probably my favorite moment of the show.

All right. Well, jokes aside, this is the main part of the topic. This is the bit that if you're looking at the title of the topic, that's what this is. Okay. So some people are going, 45 fucking minute. It's all plain related. So it is on topic. Let me introduce you to Walter Taffy Holden.

Oh, who was an engineer branch officer in the UK's Royal Air Force. He joined the RAF, the RAF, the RAF as an apprentice in 1943 when he was only 16 years old and gained a cadet ship to Unified. university. He studied mechanical engineering and learned to fly with the university air squadron flying tiger moths, which are 1930s bioplanes. You know, you imagine those sort of wartime planes. Yeah. It look a lot like that. Is that like the the Red Baron sort of stuff? Yeah, maybe because this is post-World War I feel like my dad might have gone for a joyride in a tiger moths. But like, you know, often if you see people going for a, you know, a joyride on the weekend in like an old school plane, that kind of thing. Tiger Moth is pretty popular.

I reckon he might have. Dad, text in. Are you saying that in one of these two Cedar planes, the pilot had a heart attack? That would be tricky. No, no, no. So you've got to climb over. You could probably have to pull the body out and just let it go.

They're alive, but I need to fly the plane. Sorry, right? Sorry, I'm going to have to jettison you, and then jump in and, man, if that's what this story is going to be, and if it's anything less than that, it's going to be pretty dull. But if it's that, that's going to be fantastic. No, it's even better.

Whoa. Bip planes, they're operated by the Royal Air Force as a primary trainer aircraft because they're easy to learn in. So that's what he flew when he was very young. Sort of like a gets or a jazz, you know, small, compact, easy to learn it. Exactly. Chuck it into drive, how can you go running? You're not chucking the learner and the range rover, you know? No.

Too big. Too big. Yeah. Too much risk. Yeah. After uni, he chose to qualify as an engineer rather than go down the professional flounder. line career, but at the time it was thought it was a good idea for his engineering knowledge if he got his wings, that is, became a qualified pilot. In the hope he could more easily see

the pilot's point of view in aircraft maintenance matters. I mean, I'd prefer a mechanic who has a driver's license. Exactly. They understand it a lot better. Personally, yeah. Exactly. Because they're not like, what's this do? And I'm like, that's the steering wheel. Yeah. What do you mean, you know? Can you put it to me in plain terms? I don't know. No. I don't know. I can't fly a plane. and they're like, you can't fly a plane, but you think you can get a car service? It's very confusing. I hate going to the mechanic.

He continued to learn on mostly single-engine aircrafts. Notably, his only jet aircraft experience was as a passenger. Same. Yeah. Same, actually, now that you mentioned. Yeah, I haven't even been a steward. No. You've been a steward, but not a steward.

I've been a flight steward. You've been a steward on a plane for sure. It's my favorite flight steward. Is that fun? Do you like that? That's good. We've done it again. It was just, God.

I really shouldn't have explained it because now everyone's going, oh, that's all they do. Every four minute someone goes, huh? Yeah, just watch our Patreon numbers drop. It is good, though. At free, at free. So Taffey started his engineering career and one of his postings was as the chief officer of a civilian manned aircraft storage unit where he prepared for dispatch large aircraft Canberra bombers, meteor jet fighters

and English electric lightnings so very big, very complicated Air Force planes in 1966 the year that Jack Brubman won is won, only man to win a Formula One World Championship in his own car

which sounds like he drove his Hyundai gets on the day but it was just his team It's just his corolla It was a hybrid too It's great. Fuel economy is fantastic Jack what the fuck is that?

That's how good he was That's how good he was That's a great name's or Jack Brackabon Jack Brubham. I didn't say it right, but... Jack Brighabum. What a fantastic name. Jack, bugabagabam.

That's a fantastic name. Very hard to say. But a beautiful name if you can ever land. That's my thing. I can't, I need someone to talk me through landing the pronunciation of a name. I'm like, someone on the phone. All right, so it starts with Jack. Jack.

J. Okay, okay. Or ja. It's surely there's someone else here. No, there's no one else here, man. The linguist has passed out. We need you to say it. We need you to say a name.

Ja. Ja. Yes, perfect. Say it. Ja. Coming in for landing. Jack, brabubum. Oh, no.

No, he's scratched home. There will be no survivors. Everyone is dead. So in 1966, Taffy Holden was in command of number 33 maintenance unit RAF at RIF Lyon, which was in the process of closing down. Basically, they had one last job. Love it. Top Gun Maverick.

He had a pile. He had a pile on his stuff. It's not like that. I was like spoilers. I haven't seen it. Haven't you? No. Can I watch it with you?

Sure. I haven't seen it either. Oh my God, can we watch it? Yeah, sure. I loved it. Dave does hate Tom Cruise. You'll love this. Yeah.

I didn't like the first one. Apparently this is a lot better. Yeah, it's pretty good. Maverick's a lot better. Can we set it up? Glenn Powell's in it. He's really of the moment. Can we set it up downstairs on the big screen?

Yeah, watch on the big screen downstairs. My dream. Evan! Evan from stupid old. He's listening. He's listening. He's listening. So he's in charge.

He's like the, he's in charge of all the engineering and the maintenance, but he had a pilot on his staff that flew the Canberra and Meteor planes. But this pilot wasn't qualified to fly the lightnings, which are incredible pieces, pieces of machinery and at the time were absolute cutting-edge technology. Just letting everyone know that I'm letting it go that you said peaches. Well, I said it twice so that AJ could edit it out.

Okay, well, he can edit that out as well. You can't now. Well, he can't now. He's that good. He can edit it out and in. He's that good. He's that good. I double-deed edit it out, but you can't.

Got him. Lightnings were interceptor planes, which are a type of fighter aircraft designed specifically for the defensive interception role against an attacking enemy aircraft, particularly bombers and reconnaissance planes. They also look bad ass. Cool.

What's it called again? A lightning. Yeah, I mean, it's got a badass name. Jess, just Google Lightning. You'll see a photo, but it's actually pretty cool. They don't even look like planes. They sort of look like, you know, squiggles. Images.

Wow. That's a plane? No, I've Googled Lightning. Oh, great. Lightning Jet? I was doing a visual joke for a podcast, and that is always funny. They do look pretty badass. They're called English Electric Lightning is the full title.

Oh, yeah, I like that. They're funny-looking things. Yeah. So, wait, is the lockhead mark? Martin. I reckon I had a toy of a transformer one of these as a kid. No, no, the Lockheed, no, that's a different one. It's at Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning 2. No, no, that's a different one.

Type in English electric lightning. Yeah, there it is. Oh. Got a funny look. It looks like maybe Homer Simpson designed it? And if you look, yes, it does. Do you think it's nose, and I'm sorry to go here, but do you think it's like it looks a little bit like a penis? Um, got questions about the penises you've seen.

Yeah. Very pointy. Very pointy tip. Yeah. Huge, uh, gap between the, what I assume you think is the foreskin and the, yeah. And the knob. I said sorry for going there.

Everyone else to look at it. I did apologize. An interesting thing about it, it has a, its engine is. Maybe more like a dog dick. Yes. It looks like a red rocket. Okay. It's a gray rocket.

Absolutely right. That's the kind of penis I've seen. And if you're all, If people at home are looking, if you look at the engine on the back is quite unique, apparently, because it's too stacked on top of each other. Ah. So, yeah, it's a, it's a cool looking thing. It looks pretty bad.

I'm looking at it from above. That looks cool. Yeah, they're cool. It's flying V. We'll put this on Instagram. I imagine the cover image that we use when we say, hey, this is the episode, will be a photo of the plane. So, you can look it up on Instagram right now.

You know that logo, the blue circle with a white circle inside it and a red dot in the middle? Is that like an RIA? logo or something because it just looks like, don't you reckon just that just looks like a bombing target? It's like going, yeah. If you want to explode these wings, this is where I'd aim it. Yeah. That's how cocky they are.

The Royal Air Force logo is a target. Yeah. But you can't hit right here. Good fucking luck. Good fucking luck. Governor. Good luck, Hitler. Good luck, Hitler.

So because they were used defensively, they needed to be able to take off extremely quickly to be able to intercept enemies. Because back when they're, you know, a bomber comes into town, you go, holy shit, it's going to drop a bomb. We're going to take it out before it gets here. So these things take off very quickly. Wiki writes, the lightning has an exceptional rate of climb, sealing and speed. Pilots have described it as being saddled to a skyrocket.

Another mechanic described it as a jet engine with a jockey on top. Wow. I like that they're putting it in horse terms so we can all understand. Horses. We all know horses. We don't know planes. We know horses. We know saddles. We know jockeys. Now, how do you put those into these analogies? They're the Macaiby Deva of the sky.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's okay. Okay. Thank you. Owned by a fish billionaire who's named it after three of his assistants. Murph of, like Marie, probably, Kaifa Khafer Kali, die for Diane and Vafa Vanessa or whatever it was. Is that right?

I don't know. that. We can't be divv. I'm stuck on fish millionaire. How'd that fish get all that money? He's a fish millionaire. How'd the fish get all that money? He popped out of the water with a top hat and a monocle.

He did have a mallet, I'm pretty sure. That's a type of fish. Yeah. Oh my gosh. He was a double fish. He was a fish with a fish head cut. Fish head cut. Fish head cut.

Yeah, no, it's, yeah. Is it a nightmare at it this one? It is. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Teadious. Just want to say it again, on the record. record, everything that makes it in the show is AJ's choice.

Yes. We're throwing shit against the wall. AJ sees what sticks. And if he chooses it, that's him saying, this is worth your time. We don't think any of it is. Yeah, God, it was up to, remember when we edited the episodes and they went for 38 seconds? Yeah. And that was all just the ads.

That was it. That was it. So they take off very quickly, and they are capable of supersonic speeds hitting mark two, that is twice the speed of sound, and had a top speed. of 1,500 miles per hour or 2,400 kilometres, meaning they are faster than a Concord. Wow. Very quick. And they get there, like, within a minute, very, very quick.

Wow. Straighter. And they take off. Oh, shit. Yeah. And they take off basically straight up. I hate that. It's like being saddled to a rocket if you can picture that.

Oh, okay, now I understand. I've been in a seaplane. I've been in a seaplane that went straight up. Oh, I'd never been in a seaplane. Was that terrifying? Yeah, I hated it. Everybody else was like, what? This is so fun.

And I was like, blah. What was scary? The takeoff was a landing. Oh, I don't, I think that was okay. It was just the straight up bit that I didn't like. I think the rest was okay. I don't remember. I think I probably blacked out.

It was the pilot, Balloo. Blue. Oh, yeah. I don't get it. Sometimes I just find it easier to just agree with it. Remember Matt reference that TV show? We never heard up, but a lot of Alice was new. Tailspin.

Tailspin. It was a weird spinoff where Ballou, the bear from the jungle book was now a pilot. Yeah. It just makes sense. It makes sense. Much like a fish millionaire, you know? A bear pilot.

You know, it could be anything. Similar. Okay, I've figured out our Patreon game for later. Okay. Well, animal job title. That's sizzle. Stay tuned. So cut back to 1966 and Taffy Holdren was working on a troublesome lightning model number XM135.

Ah, yes, the XM135. Do you remember it? Well. A little smart-ass of a little smart-ass of. And it wouldn't get moving when I needed to. Stubborn. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Dave, can I just say people on Patreon won't have realized this, but there was just an ad. But because you're on the ad-free feed, you didn't notice. So I'm just letting you know that's what you're getting. You didn't get an ad. And if people have got an ad, you knew you had an ad. So you don't have to worry about what I just said. That's cool, isn't it? We're very excited about this whole new thing.

Ad-free feed. We're the first to do it. First ever. It's been on our list of things to do. for so long and we realized last week that you just You could just do it, it's not hard at all There was no planning involved No, I was just like, should we do it?

Yeah, okay, done. Just a second upload, so sorry about that. Sorry, we're doing it now, making up for last time. We actually needed someone a phone in and talk us through it though And then you drag the file across Oh, what do you mean? Jack Brad Blah Blah Blum Oh no!

Actually deleted our Patreon, so yeah. So it's 1966 and the unit's about to be shut down. Like I said, they've got basically one last job. This is the last plane, this troublesome lightning that they're working on, so clocks ticking on the job. They've got to get it back in the air so they can wrap everything up and move on to their next places of employment. Taffy was tasked with getting it back on track, but each time it was being flight tested, the pilot found that on the initial few meters of take off on the runway, the inverter that supplies power to the primary flight instrument is quite important, would cut out and a standby inverter would have to cut in. Not great when

the whole aim of the plane is to quickly take off when it sort of has to go to auxiliary power or whatever. Right. Remember, Taffy didn't have a pilot that was qualified to immediately test fly this type of plane on his staff. So whenever he wanted to check to see if they'd been able to fix the problem, he had to basically order in a pilot, a process that would take 24 to 48 hours. A mail order pilot. Exactly. Is that something? I think so.

Is it a bit of fun? Is that the thing it is? I think it's a bit of fun. We'll see what AJ thinks. And it was an annoying process because over a period of weeks, Taffy and his team tried to get it back online. And every time they thought they'd finally solved the problem and everything seemed to be working, the test pilot would come out, which is a big rigmarole. Like I said, they've got to wait two days. This guy comes out.

And they'd find that the problem only presented itself when the plane was taxiing for takeoff, which is something they don't test when it's in the shed. Yeah. How can you test it? Exactly. And every time they think, we've got it. No worries. Bring him in. Have a go.

And he immediately go. it's not working and they'd have to go straight back to the drawing board. After a few tests, the test pilot had had enough and refused to fly until a more positive explanation could be determined. Because I guess he's like, yeah, and you're a test pilot, mate. It's your, but like, but they're trying to fix a thing that only, you could only tell if it's been fixed or not when it's piloted. And that's your job.

That's true. I guess that, I'm not coming out here again. Need a test test pilot. I guess the theory is, that like, okay, this problem presents itself when it's on the runway, but what if you fix that bit, and then I get in the air and then it cuts out? Yeah. What do I do then?

And you have no idea why it's happening. Yeah. I want to know a bit more. Yeah. With time pressure mounting to get the plane back operational and no other pilot available for more than a week, they had to think outside the box. It was suggested that as he was technically a qualified pilot, Taffy might be able to undertake the tests himself.

Oh, no. He wasn't allowed to fly the plane, but technically, he didn't need to fly it, he only needed to taxi down the runway 30 or 40 meters and then stop because that was when the problem was showing itself. So he didn't need to actually take it off. How fast are you going when you're taxing? Not that fast. You're basically driving a big car. Exactly, it's a big car. Have you ever been in a New York taxi? Those guys fly. Do they? Yeah. Wow. They're reckless. I haven't. I haven't either. I've just seen them on like sitcoms. I'm excited to try. Yeah. I go to New York later this year. Yellow cab.

You could walk somewhere and yell at people. I'm walking in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I could also go, taxi. Yeah, yeah.

And a hale. Yeah, that's all of their culture. Yeah, yeah. And a bagel. And then I'm done. Oh, you're going to have a New York bagel? Probably.

You can have a New York slice. Yeah, I could have a New York. You go to go to one, like an underground comedy club. Oh, my God. You go to Caroline. Oh, my God. I got quite a list going on. You go to be like one day in and out.

I could get it all done. No, you're going to have a fair bit to do in New York. Two days. Shit. insist you add Mr. Sheffield's house to the list. Is that in New York? Yes, right near Central Park. Is it really?

Because she's from Flushing Queen. Yes. And the father some more. Oh, yes. Central Park, that's right. You know. I think I've talked about this before. I've got a TV that comes with digital TV channels.

Baywatch. Baywatch. Mythbusters. There's two new ones I've noticed. Who wants to be a millionaire 24-7, including American and English versions? That's great. Like, and sometimes there's an episode with Jimmy Kim or we hosted one a year ago, and then there'll be one with the English guy,

he's named Chris Tarrant from like 1999. Yeah, that's right. So that's fun. Because every time you turn the TV on, they start before you pick binge or stand or whatever. So that pops up. Always get one question in and then I watch something. But then that's been overtaken because there is 24-7.

No. The nanny. Yeah. The nanny. And last night, as we turned the TV on to watch a show, the theme song started exactly. And we were able to sing along. Man, it was fun.

You'd have a, you, I think you would probably relate a lot to that show because you're also fine. Yeah. Yeah. You're Miss Fine. Your, yeah. You're master fine. Master fine.

And I also am wearing red when everyone else is wearing tan. Yeah. How did we get onto this? New York taxi. Taxis going slow. Yeah, so we'll take more than, yeah. And what I was, what I was going to say is he's basically driving a big car. A big car.

And then I thought, what's a big car, a tank? I would love a chance to drive a tank. That would be really fun. Wouldn't that be so fun? Do you think you could land a tank? I think I could land this tank. If the A team is anything to go by where they steer a tank by firing from the tank. Oh, cool.

Yeah, that's pretty, that's pretty sick. They steer by firing. Yep. So, yeah, like, the steering's out. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The tank is falling from the sky. Oh. Yeah.

A little detail, though. The tank came out of a big plane, and then as they fall through the sky, they are shooting in one direction to make the tank go another. I think that that does stack up, I think. And I think if scientists are listening, that would agree. They'd be like, yeah, duh. Mr. T must have been terrified. He hates flying.

Oh, my gosh. That's trick him into flying. Watch the A-Team. That's the film version you're talking about. That's the film version with Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper. A lot of combo. All right. That was for Liam Mason.

Does Mr. T play Mr. T? No. B. A. Baruckas? Oh, B. A. Baracus plays Mr. T. No, that's the game. Mr. T. Mr. T. Yeah.

Who played him in there? It's funny to have someone else playing Mr. T. But he was, yeah, it's also funny that B.J. Baracus was basically Mr. T. though, right? Yeah. Is he? Quinton Jackson played B.A. Baracus in the movie. That's it.

Does Mr. T. Pity the fool? or does B. A. Baracus pity the fool? Ooh. I feel maybe both. Okay. Yeah. Maybe taking the catchphrase with him. Anyway, I'm so sorry.

So all he has to do is taxi. Taxi down the runway and he's a qualified pilot. And technically, he can do that. Yes, technically. He doesn't have to take off. He's got his taxi license. He's got his taxi license. Taffy had only once ever sat in the cockpit of a Supersonic Jet.

And he had no idea how to start its two Rolls-Royce Avon engines. So the foreman had to give him a five-minute crash course. Foreman had to give him a five-minute. Yes Is this our best ever I think it might be Even I agree That was good

That was good stuff So I've got to take off your own hat I've been sitting here struggling a bit today Feeling a bit nauseous A few times I've been like Am I going to throw up But it's still our best episode we've ever done You throw up because of our jokes

No Sorry our attempts at humour Nah Our successful attempts Successful attempts Yes, exactly. So the way the lightning reached such fast speeds was because of afterburner, also known as reheat in England.

I spoke about this on the Concord episode. Is it like Noss? Yeah, yeah, kind of you push a button or hit a lever and it kicks it into overdrive. This is when raw fuel is introduced into the exhaust in order to greatly increase thrust. I reckon rockets have that, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. So that makes sense.

It's like a rocket. Yeah, it's like a small rocket. Like a red rocket. Just already said it before. That's why. That's why they made. It's a design. It's on purpose.

Yeah. It's supposed to look like a red rocket. The big advantage of an afterburner is that you can significantly increase the thrust of the engine without adding much weight or complexity to it. The foreman giving Taffy the five-minute demo joked that he would not be needing reheat, but explained that reheat is turned on when the throttle lever is pushed forward past a certain point. It turns on and then locks in place. and can only be turned off by feeling for a key behind the throttle. But of course, when you're only travelling 30 or 40 metres on the ground,

why would you need to turn on the reheat? They had a little laugh about that. Sure, yeah. But they probably found it even funny. Yeah, they thought it was a bit of fun. Like, oh man, you're not going to need re-eat. Why would you need that? You're only travelling 30 metres.

Yeah, it's be like scientists doing like science jokes or whatever. And you're like, okay. But they're really laughing. Yeah, they're like, okay. I guess it's their life. Yeah, they listen to us and go, fuck, they're tedious and stupid. And we go, yeah, fair enough.

Fair call. But this is our best episode we've ever done. In terms of jokes, not content. Yeah, this report's been dog shit. So boring. It's about to get more exciting. If we let you speak, it will get fun. Yeah, that's right.

I'm kidding. It's been great. You're amazing. I love you so much. Never leave us again. Thank you so much. So the plane was towed out to an unused runway and Taffy was strapped into the seat in the cockpit. But he wasn't wearing the usual helmet and oxygen mask that the pilot would usually

use again why would he need that he's just driving the car exactly it sounds like you're burning up to him accidentally flowing into the sky surely not surely not anyway you can't accidentally fly again why would you need right he doesn't need the oxygen mask because he's not going anywhere he can't you can't accidentally fly he can't fly a fucking jet by accident I'm not going to say. Oh, panic. Oh, panic. Whoops.

I should say, also, the oxygen mask contains the radio. So to communicate with the outside, the glass canopy was removed from the plane. Like in Top Gun, you know how they sit in that thing with it. Yeah. That was taken off, so he could yell messages to a land rover stationed next to it. And another person inside would relay the messages on a radio between the lightning plane and the base. So he's like yelling out stuff like, yeah, all good. I'm testing it and turning on now.

And then they'd go, he's turning it on now. He's all good. Have they taken it off or it's just open? No, they've taken it off completely. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's open. Couldn't just leave it open.

Like, you couldn't just wind down a window, could you? In a car, you have to take out the door. They absolutely took it off. Do they not normally have just a radio for the pilot to communicate? It's in the headset. It's all in one. It's like in the oxygen mask. Right.

But he didn't need to put that on. So they're like, oh, this is easier. Yeah. It's easier to yell out to a car who then relays it back. That's easier than putting on a hat. which is what I think of a helmet. It's just like a... A hard hat.

Yeah, it's just a big... It's just a full-on hat. Exactly, that's all that is. What is a helmet if not a full-on hat? Yeah, it's not a full-on hat. That's deep. So Taffy did the first test. Gradually put the throttle to about 90%

and travelled the 30 to 40 metres and then applied the brakes. Everything worked as expected. He took some notes, changed some switches. He did a second test and again took some more notes. He accidentally pushed the lift-off button. So far, Taffy had traveled about 100 meters in total over two tests and only had one more to go. He was given the all clear to do it.

Air traffic control had been holding up a fuel bowser and trailer with 3,600 gallons of jet fuel on board. But because Taffy was only going to travel another 40 meters or so, that gave the fuel bowser permission to cross his runway whilst he did the final test. What? So they're just going to, because they're like a few hundred meters down there. Oh, my God, Dave. What's going to? No, Dave. What?

So they just start driving across? What are you telling us? I'm telling you about test number three. No. Okay, okay. So it's not that he accidentally ends up flying. It's that he has to, to avoid. Oh my God, Dave.

He slowly... I'm stressing out, man. He slowly throttled forward. Just like the last two times. We've all been there. Sorry. I'm slowly throttling forward. Easy.

It takes a lot of the romance out. when you announce it like that. Throttling. I'm throttling forward. And now I'm throttling back. I'm romantically. Throttling. But because of some unexpected vibration,

he pushed the lever further than he had done previously. Inadvertedly, turning on and locking on the reheat. No. With the engine suddenly coming alive, he started to take off down the runway. Oh, my God. No. Towards the fuel bowser.

No. Towing 3,600 gallons of jet fuel. 3,600 gallons, yeah. What is this system as well? Like, oh, no, you can go through. It'll probably be fine. It would be fine. Because it had waited for the first two tests, and they'd go on, we can't wait any longer.

I've got a lunch break coming up. Exactly. She'll be right. Yeah. He's only going to do another 40 metres. You go. He's just taxing. We're hundreds of meters ahead of him.

He's got heaps of space to do his little test. So he suddenly is flying unbelievably quick down the runway. Like these things are meant to take off faster than any other aircraft in the world at the time. He only narrowly avoided smashing straight into the truck. This will ease you a little bit because Taffy later wrote. Okay. Later wrote, yes, I did use some expletives, but I had no time to think of getting out of reheat because in front of me, the Bowser and trailer had just crossed the runway from right to left.

So my thoughts were to make sure I was missing them by a sufficient margin. No, I couldn't steer to clear them. Reheat takes you in a straight path like a bullet shot out of a gun. You can't steer a bullet. No. Exactly. Try and steer a bullet. Can't steer to clear.

Exactly. The time between finding myself and reheat and just missing the Bowser was less than the time I have taken to write this sentence. That's how quickly is a very slow typer. Yeah. One finger. Oh, my God. There we go. For the listener, they fucked up the first high-part.

And we high-fived because we both made a pretty shit joke. And that deserved a high-fives. That's the job. Yeah. Somebody's got to do it. We just happen to be the best in the beers. And then we put our aviators on and we walk into the explosion. Into the explosion.

Yeah, yeah. We want to die. After that. Yeah. Suddenly explodes and you go, oh, fuck, I was meant to be there. Great. I got to wait for the next one. So he narrowly avoided the Bowser.

Wow. That's good. That is good. But as he hurled down the runway, his next problem quickly came into focus. He was about to cross the main runway, where he knew another plane was about to or had just taken off. Again, he narrowly avoided a collision. He's like, if the plane's just taken off, I can catch it. Yeah.

Overtake it. Next problem. He was rapidly running out of runway. And just beyond the runway was the small village of Bradenstoke. He was already at flying speed and had absolutely no time to look for the gate key to turn off the afterburner. And that meant he had no way to slow down, let alone stop in time to prevent taking out the village. There was only one other option. He pulled back on his stick, in the plane, that is, and took.

off into the air. Jesus Christ. Without a helmet, without oxygen, without a windscreen. No roof, no windscreen. He's just flying. Suddenly, he was airborne, surrounded by clear blue sky.

And it's at this point, yes, I will remind you that he is flying a supersonic jet without any actual training. The glass canopy has been removed. He's flying an open cockpit. He doesn't have a helmet or oxygen mask on. He doesn't have a radio

to be able to communicate with air traffic controller, anyone at the outside world. He is completely on his own, and this has all happened in a matter of seconds. So all the other stories we've heard so far have had somebody helping them via radio. This is solo. He's got nothing. In a plane, he's never flown before.

And he's never flown anything close to this kind of plane. And he's got that fast, and he's got no windscreen. Imagine your face is flapping everywhere. It would be crazy. It would be hard to breathe, surely. Yeah. Yeah. That's what the oxygen is for.

Yeah, they have the oxygen for a reason, right? Even if you don't take off as high as they do. Imagine just the breeze in your face would be absolutely full on. Oh my God. At this point, he had time to feel around for the gate key and turn off the afterburner. Thank you his lucky stars that the foreman had just happened to mention how to turn it off as a joke. Yeah. If he hadn't of, it's not a very intuitive thing.

No. But it locks on and stays on. You can't just pull it back. The thing, the lever would have just been locked into position and he'd be there pulling. He would just go to the moon. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. He would have gone to the moon. He would be living on the moon.

He'd be on the moon now. From the moon? Yeah. Maybe he has a laptop on the moon. Did he write this from the moon day? Did he write this from the moon day? Was this the 66? Hang on.

Maybe Neil Young got it. Neil Armstrong even got there a few years later and took his diary home with him. Neil Young could have been there as well. Dropped off a laptop for him. Yeah. Imagine. Is that what's going to happen? Dave, if we're spoiling your story, let us know.

Tell us and we'll get AJ to edit all that out. Yeah, word it out, okay. Come on. You're ruining it. His next worry was to make sure the aircraft that he saw taking off was nowhere nearby, so he didn't hit it in the sky. And he kept a visual on Lanham Airfield where he'd taken off from. So he sort of wasn't suddenly in the middle of nowhere going, where the hell am I?

He also contemplated using the ejector seat, but that was impossible as the safety pins had been screwed in for the plane servicing. Sure. So it's, you can't use it. So you can't object. I like the safety pins. Yeah. I guess it's so you don't just eject on the runway and like, you know, just fly up in the sky and land on your head or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wouldn't want to do that. He doesn't have a hell, wouldn't on. Exactly. He had only one option. He was going to have to attempt a landing, which in comparison to the aircraft that he'd previously landed, this was no easy task. He wrote, I was trying to combine all my limited flying experience into a few minutes of

DIY flight training on a lightning. It wasn't easy, but I must admit that some of the elementary rudiments of my proper flying training and flying theory were coming and useful. I needed to get a feel for the aircraft. if I was to get it back on the ground. My first approach was ridiculous. I could tell that my speed, height, rate of descent, even alignment wasn't correct,

and my best plot was to go around again. I can only imagine what his colleagues in the ground are thinking, because in a few seconds he's just taken off without them. Taddy, what the fuck? Tath. Yeah. They don't know what to do. Also, like, I sometimes, when I think about this and you go,

they help them, you know, find the runway and land and stuff, my sense of direction is shit And if they're going like So just head north I'm like what the fuck is that Is that left? What's north? I don't know

But by this stage You can see the map of the country Where are they in England You can see the country as a map Basically So you're like, I know I know what's north in England We go towards Scotland

Yeah true That's handy I can see Scotland I can see Nessie Yeah So I'll just head towards that Two or away from Nessie Am I going away

Turn around from Nessie Nessie are behind me, got it. He's in the air he's going like, so lying on Mayerfield. Was that on Earth? Was that on the moon? Yeah, which of these planets? Which are pretty close to Mars? Which of these spheres should I aim for?

The red one or? I can't be sure what direction my apartment faces and I, it doesn't move like a plane can. You know what I mean? I don't know. Oh, yeah, what are you? When people are, so you just want to head up north up Collins Street? I'm like, the fuck is that? What do you mean?

Well, well, we have a great system. Yeah, that's true. Collin Street does go east to west though. Okay, great, so how do I go north? What do you fly? What do you face west, I reckon? Is the sunset in the west? Rises in the east.

Sometimes. It depends on what planet you're on. Well, that's true, man. I'm on my own little planet. I think it does face west. Yeah. Japan's the land of the rising sun, right? And that's in the east.

Well, I think because there's the, there's the, There's the Rising Sun is a song on Cold Chissel's album, East. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. So I think, I think that's right. Great. I'm pretty sure. Rising East, sets in the West.

Yeah. Sets in the First. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.

Okay. West facing. Thanks, Dave. And this goes... I don't get it. Were we talking about this on the podcast recently where that I had to relearn how to drive a manual because I was getting a manual car? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And you're legally in Australia, probably most places, if you have, get your automatic license. Once you're off your probationary license of three years, you can drive any normal car. Yeah. So I could legally drive a manual. I just didn't know how to. Yeah. And so I just took the car to a car park and taught myself.

That's kind of what he's doing. Yeah. He knows how to drive a plane, just not this plane. It's a bit more complicated. He's just doing it with a multi-million dollar across. He's up there just sort of figuring out, feeling his way around. You just hope he's somebody who learns best well doing and not like, you know, in theory. Yes.

Yeah. All right, bookworm. Yeah. He's like, oh, no. I don't think Taffy, swashbuckling Worcestershire or whatever his name is as a book nerd. It's an even better. Yeah. Taffy swashbuzzlewooling Worcestershire.

All right, his second attempt to land was no better. So he decided for his next attempt to come from the other side, which would mean if he crashed or overshot the landing, he would simply go into a valley rather than crash into the village. Sure. Smart. Yeah, that's good. By his third attempt, Taffes. he had got a feel for the aircraft and in his own words, plonked it down in about the right position.

But unbeknownst to the unexpected pilot, there was a problem with his landing. Oh, no. He was used to landing smaller planes with two wheels at the front and one at the back. These planes are supposed to land tail first. Oh. But the lightning had a nose wheel and two at the back and one at the front and are designed to be landed with all three wheels touching the ground at once.

Oh, I see. It's just not something if you don't know what you wouldn't know. Yeah. You just instinctively, you'd land it as you normally land. He's probably seen them land like that before, but it's just in the moment is thought, this is how I land. I'm going to do what I know. Tail down, nose down, which is kind of like what happens with when we fly commercially.

That was my question. It's bum first, isn't it? And then you hear it hit it very quickly onto the front. Yeah, it's not like, you're not like scooting along on the back wheels for ages. It's just like it's a bubub. Yeah. It's like how our feet go heel toe. Exactly.

It's a heel toe. You're absolutely right. Right. It's quick. Step together, step together. He'll toe. He'll toe. So when he attempted to land tail first, the rubber tail bumper of the lightning hit the concrete

at speed. Okay. That's not good. Taffy didn't even notice and immediately hit the brakes and looked for the button to launch the landing parachute. Yes. Designed to rapidly slow down the aircraft because it's so quick this thing it needs. A parachute.

A parachute. He located the button all right. There was parachute. And the parachute deployed, but it just flew a way. way as the cable had been severed when he hit the tail on the runway. Shit. You're looking at the review mirror. There it goes.

And deploying now and parachute flying away. Oh. Oh, no. Why is the plane slowing down? Why is the parachute over there now? What is it down? Huh. Shit.

So without the parachute, he was careening down the runway at speed. He just had to hold onto the brakes for dear life. But if he's the engineer, doesn't he know, shouldn't he know what wheel can configuration it has. Yeah, but he's never landed in that style before, so he's just never done it. Wow. Okay. So he's just basically jumped all over the brakes.

And it's like, this has come out of nowhere. Yeah. He was one minute not going to be flying. And the next one he's like, fuck, I've got to land this. He got to land it, yeah. And this is the only way I've ever landed. Thankfully, he came to a stop at less than 100 metres of runway to go. Get fucked.

I like to imagine he's also come to a stop sideways. Yeah. He's drifted in. And he's jumped straight out. He's drifted in. To go, fuck his wife. Because she was there watching and she's like, oh my God. Oh, my God, that's so hot.

Oh, my God, it's so hot. You plonked it down there, now plonk it down over here. Plunk was such a funny word he used. Yeah, plunked the plane down. Oh, my God. So he was on the ground, Taffy was safe. Obviously, he was a bit shaken, and he was taken to the medical officer who gave him some pills to calm his nerves. Surely you would get out of the plane, your legs would be jelly, and you would just throw up.

surely. Like, that's insane. It would be so scared. Yeah. You'd have to take the week off. But to quote from Taffy, give him the week. Give him the week.

He said, I felt reasonably calm because I had almost killed myself on five occasions in that 12-minute flight, yet I had miraculously survived. That's a win. So he was, yeah, looking on the plus side. He's like, hey, well, that could have gone really badly, but I'm alive. Yeah. The aircraft had some minor damage, but was easily repaired with a new set of brake shoes

and a new rubber shoot block, which is the thing that smashed on the back, and a parachute. I guess. As for the fault with the XM-135 that it was flying, well, they kept testing and eventually it was found to be a button that was never fitted properly, and one of its redundant wires was shorting out the radio during takeoff, which made it the power down. Although I'm pretty sure that Taffy proved there was nothing wrong with the take-off, even if you didn't want it to take off, it took off. It's very good at taking home. Were there like repercussions? Did you get in trouble at all? Yeah, so there was a full inquiry afterwards to find out what the hell had happened.

as he was the commanding officer of the unit, he was responsible for his own actions as well as the service actions of all the staff. Fortunately, he'd kept a meticulous log of everything. And because he was found and never been breaching any orders, he was okay. Because he'd been given the all clear. He'd been suggested, hey, you should test it? Yeah. And he went, okay, it was an order. Yeah.

I bet when he took off, he did a meticulous log in his pants. Yeah, actually. How before I was like, I'd be so embarrassed if I put my hand up and somebody was more qualified. If he lands and he's alive, but he has shamed his house. And they're like, Taffy, come down. No, oh, no, I just need him. I'm just. He has pissed his band and at a minimum.

Just adrenaline. Final flight, and this is literal flight. Fartle flat. He's like, shot or flight. Hey, why don't you just get my car from the car park and drive up here and then, like, I'll just drive home. I'd be so, be like, I wish I'd die. It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing.

But if I was one of his colleagues and he'd shout himself, I'd be like, your body did what it had to do. I understand. I'm not going to make a comment about it. I blew out your rubber butt thing or whatever else color. He was me. I'd be like, I quit. I can't show my face here again.

I don't like my butt. That's so good. I'm going to the moon. I'm going to move to the moon. I'm mortified. So he was also not in trouble. I genuinely think that every time there's bad turbulence. I'm like, if we like, if we like,

But like if it starts to look like it's not going to be good and our bodies do a natural thing in fight or flight where it does, you piss yourself. Why is that? I don't know. But then I'm like, but what if then we're fine? And now I'm just sitting in my piss for a bit. Sitting in your own filth.

Yeah. What is, what's the fight? Where does... I don't even know what to Google. Piss and shit come in to fight or flight. Which one of that is it helping? I guess you're a bit lighter if you want to run away. I've offloaded a liter of piss.

I'm just Googling. Final flight piss. It's corrected me to peeing. Tense adrenaline-filled response may stimulate the need to relieve yourself. The final flight response may also increase the kidney's production of urine. Oh, right. And I've Googled why poo yourself when scared? Uh-huh.

And Healthline says, during heightened anxiety, the amount of serotonin increases in your gut and can cause spasms to happen through your entire colon. Ah. Okay. It's kind of like why you pee when you pee when you. you're nervous if you have that at all. Like, before, if you're really nervous, you need to pee a lot. It's, it's an anxiety thing.

Gotcha. Which is a bit of a fight or flight. Anyway. He didn't have time to shoot himself off. 12 minutes. You got time. I'm just saying something, yeah, sometimes when there's bad turbulence and I'm like, what if I panic and then we're fine, but I've shat myself.

Yeah. Anyway. And then we all just have to get off the plane as normal. Go, thank you. Yep. Thank you. And they're like, enjoy your stay. Yep, thank you so much.

And I go, thank you. But I have reek of shit. And someone's standing right behind you. Hopefully, A, it's behind me. That's one of those few times that there isn't like a log jam down the, or there'll be, there'll be no log jam, obviously, down the aisle. Oh, there's quite a bit of gap behind just there.

I've shot myself. Sorry, I've shut myself. Thank you for the great flight. I've shot myself. I've shot myself. The passenger's 43B has evacuated her bells. I reckon I'd be opening the emergency exit and just jumping out. I'll see you guys later.

That's been fun. That's embarrassing. I'm going to go. So he also wasn't in trouble because there was nothing in the rulebook to say engineers couldn't do practical tests. But this was later amended to stop future incidents. So this was like an air bud. scenario. Well, there's nothing in the rule book. Exactly. So it was that he pushed the lever too far or something? Or it sort of got the bit stuck? It shook and he pushed it too far by accident. Could not? Could a pilot not have done that by accident? Could they not? Yeah, that could have happened to a pilot. So it's funny that they're like engineers can't do test flights. But the pilots do hundreds, if not thousands of hours of training in that very aircraft. Yeah. Because even the highly qualified pilot who flew two other jets wasn't qualified for this one. So I imagine they go off.

over that kind of thing. They're very specialised. And if it had taken off, he'd be like, well, I can switch this off and land it. No, I mean, it's a bit harder than usual because I don't have the oxygen or the roof, the canopy, but I could do it. But rather than just winging it on your first ever jet flight. After the inquiry, Taffy was ordered to see Air Marshal Sir Kenneth Porter, which he was a bit worried about as he wasn't sure if he was in trouble or would have his wings taken away

from him, his pilot's license. But all the Air Marshal did was ask if Taffy agreed in the future. if he should just wait for a qualified pilot. Taffy wholeheartedly agreed. That's so funny. That just sounds like your mum and dad. Now, you know, you're not in trouble. I think you've, you know, you've learnt your lesson.

I don't need to add to it. But in the future, let's just, let's just clarify. Maybe. Yeah. Young man. Do you agree? Taffy. What do you think?

Mm-hmm. What do you think? Okay. Okay. All right. Now you can go play. Off you go. Off you go. Well, to quote again from Taffy, he said,

he then told me to, this is the air marshal, he then told me to remove my hat, sit down, and proceeded to tell me some of his unfortunate flying incidents in Mesopotamia in the Middle East. I was thankful that nothing more was to become of the incident and that I still had a job. So he's like, sit down, young man, let me and regalia with the times that I fucked up.

I love that. That's so good. I've come across that before. You know, you hear of tradies talking about that. They're like, someone will do fuck something up and it's a big disaster. And that'll just kick off the tails of everyone going, Oh, yeah, I remember when I did a big fuck up.

Yeah. But it's pretty funny for that guy to be like, okay, so just to clarify, we agree that maybe next time wait for a pilot. But the reason that he had to do it is because the pilots were like, I'm sick of doing this. And they had to get a new one. And somebody went, all right, you just do it. Yeah.

So it wasn't his call, really. He's like, I just don't want to, you know, we want to keep working on this. Yeah. So I think they saw that and they were like, look, you were just following orders, really. Yeah. So, you're all good. Then. I don't know why I use the example of tradies.

comedians would probably do it more than anyone. You know, someone bombs and then the war stories come out. Taffy's whole first-hand account. Watch a worst gig, Dave. Is it the Santa, skinny Santa suit? Yeah, yeah, probably. Is it this job? Is this your worst gig right now?

Oh, before this one, this current one. Taffy's whole first-hand account that I've quoted from a couple of times is awesome and has much more technical detail. That's the kind of thing you'd like to read. It was published by his grandson on his website, Dan Rostron.com. It's a great read. I will link that article in the show notes. If you want to read a bit more technical stuff, he goes into it.

Some things I didn't quite get not being a pilot or engineer, but if you're out there and you love that kind of stuff, definitely get into it. Taffy was not prepared for the story to go to the press, and he was a bit overwhelmed by the media coverage at the time, because it was quite a big story. His command headquarters suggested that he and his family get away from it all, and they went on a holiday to Italy. This is again from Taffy's account. Imagine my complete surprise when on the first day of camp, I love it refers to his holidays camp, on my way to find some ice. Someone shouted,

Hello, Taffy. I've just been reading about your lightning flight. The world seemed a very small place. Wow. Isn't that incredible? Just to recognize a pilot from a, what, a blog or a, or no, I wouldn't have been a blog. Newspapers, yeah.

Yeah. I don't, like, I don't recognize, I need to have met someone a bunch of times before I'm confident enough. Yeah. Let alone seeing a photo and a newspaper. Yeah. And they're like, oh, you're the guy from the newspaper. Of course, in Italy, here.

Getting ice. This all makes sense. Couldn't possibly just be a guy who looks like him. Yeah. The confidence of that man. I wouldn't think of it, yeah. No. Unless he's really, he's got a very distinct look.

Yes. On the other thing, Bob, is at that same time, you've also shut your pants. I have shut my pants and I really hope not to be recognized. Because I have shat my pants. Hey, you're the shitter. Oh, yes. Yes, it's me. guilty.

No autographs, please. You don't want to know what I sign I'm with. Years after the event, Taffy realized he had not dealt with the emotional side of his close encounter with death, and he received psychiatric help to process what he'd been through. Okay. So it did come back in the years afterwards. Finally, his account published in 2013, ends with his reflection on the 12 minutes of his life that would be talked about for the next five decades.

Over the intervening years, I have received many letters and reminders from people whom I do not know and praising my efforts to return myself and aircraft back to the ground safely. Yes, I have basked in some glory when accounts of what happened have been retold in social gatherings. I have never sought publicity, but whenever it became impossible to suppress, I have had to live with it. I enjoyed my career in the Royal Air Force, but not because of XM-135. Wow. I like this vibe. He's got a great vibe, and that's why it's such a good read, reading it back, because it's all written like that.

these days the XM-135 that he accidentally flew for 12 minutes is on display at the Imperial War Museum Duxford which is Britain's largest aviation museum cool so you can go see it we should next somewhere in town is it near any of the places we normally tour yes I don't think it's that far as we could tour to that town I think it's not that far out of London town oh London I can ship myself in any town I mean let me look it up I'm zooming out now okay if you Can shit your pants there. You can shit your pants anywhere. It is south of Cambridge.

I don't know it. It's New York, New York. Obviously, our English listeners will say, but that's so far away. That's a full hours drive. Oh, my God. Yep. 50 mile from London driving. You can take me an hour to get home from here.

There's also a video of the XM-135, and there's a tour guide giving a tour. This is a post a few years ago. And then he goes, this is the story. of Taffy Holden and I hope I get this right because he's with us here today and he turned up. That's cool. Which is cool. And he said, oh, I don't normally like to bask in, but if you're going to tell the story and he takes the microphone off him. Takes him for a walk.

So he'll probably want to get into my mind. Pitch of this. So yeah, that's my story of, you know, talk down landings, but more importantly, Taffy Holden's unexpected flight. Wow. Yeah, he's the non-talkedown flight. He didn't need a talk down, just had to work it out himself. Well, he couldn't have had one if you wanted it.

Yeah, exactly. Far out. Just put the helmet on. Put the helmet on. Put the roof on. I love that story. It's wild. Once I heard it, I was like, I've got to talk about it.

The way you were building it up, though, I was like, do. Is this going to be, when you're softening us up with some successes before? He's going to crash straight into that gallons of fuel. Here's the thing. You go, you're shopping for a new car. You want to take it for a test drive. You put in the seatbelt on? I am.

Yeah. No, I'm cutting it off. It's slowing you down. I'm kicking out the windshield. Yeah, yeah. Don't need it. It's just a test drive. What your bloody helmet on?

What are you doing? Amazing. I'm so glad that he made it. I'm glad it wasn't a really bleak story. Yes, it's a happy ending for him. Pretty amazing. I only got a happy ending. Come on, man.

What? Well, I bring this to everyone's favorite. section of the show. And this is where we thank our great supporters who are on Patreon. Possibly even listening to an ad-free feed right now. Oh my gosh. Hello. Hello, hello.

It's that even, yeah, amazing. That must be. Oh, the freedom. How must that feel? Wow, for only the logo price of $10 a month and you get three bonus episodes? What? Soon to be four? That's crazy.

The price is confusing because of different currencies and stuff now. Yeah, it's like 10 US, isn't it? But yeah, and then like euros is. different, I don't know. Who knows? I mean, we don't know. We're not finance years. No, it's, you know, it's the, it's Patreon platform.

You meet some other party. Hello, I'm a financier. I'd be like, my drink is empty. I have to go. No, it's not. I've just shat my pants. I'm sorry, I've shat my pants. You're less embarrassed about that than saying you're a podcaster.

So, the first thing we like to do is the, uh, Thanks some of our patrons. Thanks some of our patrons. But the first thing we do there is the fact quote of question section. I actually think it has a little jingle. It's something like this. Fact quote or questions. He always remembers the things.

He always remembers the sing. And this is first of a few. We do three little things here at the end. We're a bit of fun. We're having fun mainly. We're spending a bit of time making sure our supporters feel a bit of love. Yeah, so we've got to thank the benefactors. And I mean, a lot of people just skip to this part because it is the best part

the show, let's be honest. And in this part, people who are signed up on the Sydney-Sharmberg level or above, they get to do two rounds of voting per cycle. And they also get the bonus episodes, the have free feed, the three-piece feed. Yeah, just three-piece feed, the Zingerberger, the big box. The Facebook group. Yeah, Facebook group, discounted tickets, pre-sales on live shows. All sorts of stuff.

And yeah, they also get to give us a factor quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion. I read out four each week. I'd read them out for the first time when I'm reading them out. That is just to give myself the excuse for mispronouncing anything. Or, you know, maybe getting through a sentence and realize they've said something crook, which they never do. But, you know, maybe actually one guy did once. But I wonder if that made the edit. We handled it really well.

Yeah, maybe while Dave was away. So. I was going to say I think I edited that from my mind. Okay. Anyway, the first one comes from Tesset, Chillcott. and they also get to give themselves a title. And Tess is Tess, the unicorn wrangler extraordinaire. Also, wrangles heffalumps and centaurs.

Wow, big portfolio. Busy. What if it's the hardest of those to wrangle? Heffolum. Yeah, what's the heffelump? Is they flying elephants? Yeah. Unicorns are pretty hard because they're like, you know, hardly ever say them.

You see heffelumps and centaurs on every street corner. Yeah, that's true. Anyway, Tess is offering us a brag and, uh... Braggardee. Braggios. And Tess writes, my brag is that I'm having a bubba in early August. Hooray. Congratulations.

Well, yeah, I wonder what this means. Like a bubba gum shrimp? Yep. One serving? One serving in early August. I booked it in. Exciting. You got to give them the notice.

I'm having a reverse C-section. They're cutting me open and they're just putting the bubble gum shrimp straight in. I don't like the taste, but I like the first. I'm not going. My earliest pregnancy symptoms, oh, it's a pregnancy. Yeah. My earliest pregnancy. Unrelated.

Oh, true. New story. My earliest. Congratulations. It's the first way hearing of it. It's really exciting. My earliest pregnancy symptoms were dizziness. Ah, this is dizzy stuff.

But I also had criminally low iron and undiagnosed celiac disease. Oh, my God. There's a lot going on. Yes. You'd be feeling rotten. Now, I can't eat gluten, but I can eat Bubba gum shrimp. and that's what I'm here to, no, sorry, that's not what it says and says. But I will have a baby in a few months.

We'll be sleeping as much as I can before the non-sleeping stage begins. Love this show and all your other podcasts. Oh, my God, Tess, you legend. Please keep making them. As I have a feeling, I'll be needing some late night headphone entertainment. Well, congratulations. That's lovely. Tess, that's so good.

Early August, a beautiful time to be born, let me tell you. Yes. And a beautiful time to die. I plan on dying on why I'm a 100th birthday Oh great Fantastic What's the August star sign It's Leo and Virgo

Oh yeah What are they all about One's a lion Leo's a virgin Attention seekers Or they're like Are you a Virgo Dave I am a Virgo

I am the Virgin We must have discussed that before So perfect I'm also a Virgo That makes way less sense Just fucks There's something wrong here Yeah

I assume that two day gap between You would have separated you from a line. That would be so good. But for a moment, did you believe in astrology? I did, yeah. It's real. It's real.

Thank you so much, Tess, and congratulations. Very exciting. Yeah, I might. Hopefully we're pumping into your ears right now. And the next one comes from Michael Derizzi, aka the guy who's trying to fix the stove in the do-go-on-trip-ditch kitchen. Michael. But I'm panicking.

I don't know what to do, guys. I don't know what to do. He's never fixed the stove before. This is Taffy Holden. all over again. And this stove is creating hate. A lot of hate. Too much.

Michael has a question writing, can you get that Donner guy who loves theme parks? That'll be Zach. He's done a few Disney reports for us, hasn't he? Yep. To do a report on the opening of Euro Disney. I think his name is Tom.

You know the guy from Mission Zach's Legu Zamorama. No, that's John. John Ligwizamo. And since you like us to answer our own questions, I say yes. Okay, great. We would be so lucky to get Tom from Auntie Donor on. Oh my God. Zach, easy.

But Tom? Tom. Yes. Much more loose hair. Tom from the footy with Broden Kelly. That's right. Poor Tom, he's always there. And the sand on that, which I assume he's all over.

It's awesome. It sounds like. He, but I did ask about that. And Broden's like, oh, that's what he said. He didn't want the name. It's pretty funny. Yeah, it is pretty funny. For a two-hand-a-show.

Usually a three-hand-up. Should we change this? Yeah. To go on with Jess? I think so. We've got to put you forward. Elevate women. Elevate women.

I was talking to Tom yesterday about doing, we'll do a crossover week where they come on. Who knew? Oh my God, I couldn't land the name of my own podcast. Who knew it? And I'll do the footy one week. Great. Love that. Love that for you.

Big get for you. I think it's a beautiful combo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. World's aligning. Thank you, Michael Dariusi. Now get back to work in the kitchen because that stove is a real problem. Yeah.

Also, if we remember, we'll ask Tom slash John slash Zach. Yes. The next one comes from Sky, okay, official biker of the pod. I wonder what kind of biker, like a leather clad. It's a capital B, so I'm going to say, yeah, leather clad. Leather clad or Lycra clan. Harley Davidson. Okay.

Hardly Davidson. Hardly Davidson. So, Sky has a question as well writing. This question is for Dave. Oh, I'm here. If possible, please hold off on this until he's back. Okay. Well, there you go.

We've done that. Because I don't read him until I read him. That could not have happened. I do often get through this part and be like, nah, fuck, I'm sorry. Yeah, fuck. Ah. So Dave and Jess, because you're also in a long-term relationship, when did you know? With each other?

Wait, have we gone public with that? Because I thought K-Fabe said that you and I were together. Yeah, but that's just a ruse to throw people off the same. That's what I mean. Yeah. But why are you... Okay, we're going to have to edit that out. Okay, edit that bit out.

If you're hearing this, AJ's failed. To edit it out. But anyway, so Dave. Yes, hello. This question for you. A married man. Whose wife doesn't believe in it. This is a question.

The question, how's your marriage? Great, by the way. Fine. A little defensive. The question is, Dave, when did you? Did you know they were the one? Oh. But they've answered the question, so do you want to hear the answer first?

Yeah. About their partner or my partner? Yeah. I've assumed about their partner. I figured out when you knew. Dave, I should say, I haven't read it yet. It could be about you. Yeah, okay.

My answer is weird. I met someone recently, and from the moment I met them, I thought they were the one for me. For some context, I'm a very weird person, an acquired taste, if you know what I mean. But she lives like an. Eight hour plane ride away. Oh my God.

What an episode to be a plane ride away. Yeah, eight hours on a plane. That's a long trip. That's a long way. Yeah, you'd go from east to west coast. I'm back almost. Yeah. So that must be...

You can bloody get to Thailand for that. Yeah. That's about nine hours. It's close. You know what I mean. Unless they live in Russia, I don't know if there is any country that is wide enough until...

No. For it to be the same country. But I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Wow. Especially if you go like the bottom corner of one. Should have finished this sentence.

Here we go. And in a different country. There you go. Confirmed, we are very smart. And has a boyfriend that she's been trying to leave for like a year and a half. Holy shit. So I'm giving her space to figure it out. So, you know, sorry for the long FQQ, but that's basically the bare minimum of details.

It's a much longer story. It sounds like it. Yeah, sounds complex. Yeah, a few things going on there. Thanks all. Love hard emoji. Love it emoji. Beautiful.

Could have said heart, but love heart emojis, even better. Heart emoji. Oh, just heart. Okay, yep. IDK, if emojis come through, well, I did, but there's three hearts after the things. One for each of us. Thank you so much. Little heart for each of us.

Every single step of the way, I just needed to finish the sentence. That's the lesson here, which we will not learn. So, Dave, when did you know? Very early on, I must say, I think, within a few weeks of, hanging out with my now wife. I asked her if she wanted to go overseas to Thailand with me because I'd booked a solo trip.

It was before we went to the Coast Movie Podcast Festival and I had gone earlier. I'd booked like four or five nights in another hotel. Oh, yeah, she was there, that's right. Yeah, and I was actually going to do a solo getaway. But then I was like, to her, do you want to come with me on this trip? And then that sort of intense five days together, it was sort of from there.

I think it's clever. when a solo man traveling to Thailand has someone as a decoy to at least get people off the scent. Always suspicions. So it was basically from there, and then from then it just became quite serious quite quickly. When you know, you know. Exactly. It felt so great straight away and still does. Even if she doesn't believe I can write a number one here, but still.

It's her only floor. Yes. And it won't be her floor anymore when you prove that you can. Yeah. Then she'll be like, oh, but you can't do another one. And you realize she's just trying to motivate you. Yeah, she's just figured out how to push you. Good luck, Sky. Yeah, good luck out there.

Yeah, that is a tricky spot. Yeah, sounds like a lot's going on. But exciting. How exciting is new love. Oh, love. To be in love. Yeah. I didn't realize.

I think we've had a fact quote in questions from Sky before. Never noticed that she's weird. Do you notice that? I don't even notice that. I think... If you know what they mean. I think everybody feels at times like they're an acquired taste. Yeah.

I think you're probably pretty great, Sky. Yeah, yeah. If the only real giveaway to me that someone's weird is they're from Austin, Texas. And that's a place where people just stay weird. Yeah, that's right. The final one this week comes from David Loring with the title, Trivial Dave. And Trivial Dave. That's cool.

Has a fact for us writing, hello friends. Hi, Dave. I hope you're all well. Trivial day. I love you, Dave. I offer up the following fact for appraisal as a potential fun fact, but also perhaps as a cute slash touching one too. Ooh, who's in charge of cute facts?

I feel like you probably as well. Surely, I'm the cutie for two-gative part. You go that portfolio. I'm definitely just boring. Yeah, you are boring, but I'm cute. And Matt's grim. It involves two people. Annie eyed, maybe, idie, maybe,

the daughter of a US diplomat and Scottish author Robert Lewis Stevenson. Stevenson met Annie when she was young girl and learned that her birthday was on Christmas Day. And then she was a bit put out by having to share her birthday with such a momentous occasion. Never really getting a proper birthday of her own. So he gave her his on the logic that he was old enough that he no longer had any use of it and it should be put to good use. He wrote up a faux contract and had it witnessed and as such gave her the 13th of November to celebrate her birth. That's cute. You apparently can read the contract online.

He's got a link here. But I could read it all out, but it's got a lot of numbers and slashes. Based on a letter she wrote to him after the fact, it seems the family took this up and used November the 13th as her birthday at least once, and she sent him a letter clearly having met writing, I'm wondering, however, what you will do without a birthday. As the years roll by, you can grow no older, and perhaps will be. thus become immortal in body as well as in renown. But if I have two birthdays every year, I shall grow old at a terrible rate. The years will rush by me like an express train, and I shall soon

be old enough to be my own grandmother. Presumably continuing the trend, Annie I'd bequeathed the birthday to her niece, who in turn left it to her granddaughter. Oh, that's cute. I think that is it? Is that a, oh, I was about to say, but Jess, what do you think? Is that fun? cute touching all of the above. Yeah, all of the above. Great work, David. That's really cute. That works out well because I messaged David saying he put in a question for

who knew it that I recorded yesterday, which will be in a few weeks. And in it, I called him a cunt. So I messaged him, I said, I don't know if this will make the edit or not, but just letting you know that it wasn't about you. It was just referring to a bit, which I think will be clear, but who knows what will happen with the edit. Wow. Connor, my editor is a wild man.

Wow. Thank you so much, David. That's cute. Trivial Dave. Sky, Michael and Tessa. A lot of big news in that one. Yeah. Yeah.

And also great suggestion and also a great cute fact. God. They really nail it in the fact quote a question. They really do. Because it can be anything and they just make it beautiful. Yes. And we don't have heaps left. So if you are on the Sydney-Shaunberg level, get them in.

Send them in. If you don't know how to do it, DM me on Patreon. The next thing we do is we shout out to a few of our great supporters. We do three each week and Jess has a bit of a game usually to play based on the topic. I really want to do like fish millionaire. Yeah, great. All right. It's an animal and then a thing.

And then a title or a job. Yeah, great. Love it. I'd love my job to be millionaire. That's why I said title. Yeah, I know, but I wish my job was millionaire. How much would you get paid? I guess you get paid a million?

At least. Yeah. But like at what frequency? Well, whenever it dips below it, I guess you have to... You get a new million? You got to get topped up. Buy a million. I only work in millions.

All right. So if you drop a dollar below, that's an instant million. Yeah, that's clever. Pretty good. That is pretty good. So you spend that million, you get another million. Yeah, you've got to spend money to make money. Yeah.

That's where that saying came from. All right, if I can kick it up, I want to thank from... Oh, Wodonga. What a beautiful neck of the woods. Rattle the border. Yeah. Some people say Aubrey's the bigger part of that Twin City. Well, I say, yuck.

You make me want to spew in my mouth. Wadonga all the way. And good on you, Aubrey as well. Dean Street, Aubrey. What a place. From Wadonga. Just what's your favourite street in Aubrey? Yeah, the Aubrey Street.

I've talked about this before. As a kid on country TV, if I was ever up in that area, every second ad was Dean Street Aubrey. Come to Dean Street Albury The cinema's on Dean Street Albury We got all the fashion on Dean Street And they had like this sort of Almost American sort of accent

Dean Street Albury Anyway It's the Burke Street of Albury Yeah that's right It's the yeah I wonder if they have a Paris end Of Dean Street Aubrey Which Colin Street does in Melbourne Yeah

You got the Paris end of Colin Street That's a very Cungy thing Anyway so from Wodonger It's Jackie James Jackie James Okay Dear

Judy Dear Judy Dear Judy It's okay I've misunderstood the game Dear Judy What are those

Dear something letters It's not dear Judy Dear John But as a firm But the job Isn't John No Dear architect

Dear architect Dear architect Dear architect Dear architect You're like Good job You're pricking the pen on your tongue Dear

I hope this letter finds you well. I write regarding a building, you architected. Well done! Well done, architect. Also, your name, Judy. Okay, one second here. I think, hopefully this is that go. Hello.

Mansalah. What's hallow? You know that guy? Hello. Today. Welcome back up to another video today. I will be talking you through. This is a very common word.

If you can, it's okay. If you have been in English, it's okay to say... Manseller. Manseller. Book. The word is book. All right, from Manseller in Finland. I would like to thank Ronja.

Yeah, Koyvue. Oh. From Finland. Thank you so much for your support from Finland. Yeah. Do you like Children of Bodum? Great band. Oh, yeah.

Great fun band. The funk band? Not a funk band. Not a funk band. They're not defunct. They're not defunct Finland's funk band. Shark. Tornado.

The title. Shark secretary. Sark secretary. Oh, okay. That's a good one. Sark Sectorate. Shark's secretary. Yeah.

Can you imagine that? Imagine walking in. Touch typing down with the fins. Yeah. And you walk into a doctor's office and you're like, ha! Every time. Yeah.

Because there's a shark there. Sharks got to work. Yeah. Hi, can I help you? I type it 180 characters per minute. Okay. Come on. Rude.

I've always, hey, I'm always moving forward so I won't let it get me down. Don't worry. It's already in the past. I can't go backwards. I forgive. I forget. Yep. Thank you so much.

Rangia, Kovu. Finally from Penola, South Australia. Karen Cahir. Karen. Karen. Karen is a beaver.

Plumber. And they nailed the fire. That was awesome. That was amazing. Beaver plumber. Why do we both think plumber? I don't know. They go down there.

They go down there. They're more like carpenters, aren't they beavers? They work with wood. But I guess they work with wood in the water. Yes, they love the water. They love the water. They're plumbers this time. May I thank some people?

I'd love it if you could. Thanks, Karen. I would love to thank from Lincoln, Nebraska. Oh, my God. Nathan Brandt. Nathan Brent. Matt, name an animal. A wombat.

Wombat. Murderer. Oh, that's that. I better know it is a wombat that murders. Yes. Okay. It's not a person who are. That's disgusting.

Oh, my God. A wombat that murders, that's sick. That's fun. You're sick. You're sick. Yeah. It could be something different. It's just what I thought.

What about murder at night, but by day, a jewellery consultant? A jeweller? Jewelry consultant. Jewelry consultant. Wombat jewelry consultant. Man, I want to get into consultancy, because you just go on your consult people. What do they do? They do.

They know, but they make good money. Shout out to any consultants. Thank you, Nathan. So thank you to Nathan Brant. I would also like to thank from Baytown in Texas, Nicholas Fontonot. Oh, wow. Fontenot. Fontonot, the eagle.

Oh, the eagle... Barista. Yes. Yeah. Eagle barista. I just don't think what an eagle got. My thought was... And I was thinking something like a judge, which may be like a barrister.

Oh, yeah. That's actually what I meant to say. What did I say? Barista. Barista. Barista. Whoa. Whoa.

Dave, were you all saying? Is that where you were going? I was thinking what are eagles do they fly? I thought pilot. Okay, maybe a bit too literal. A wombat's don't murder, do they? Jess, are we thinking like American legal system has a lot of bald eagles all over? They love them over there.

Good work. Thank you, Nicholas. And finally for me, I would love to thank from Kennington in Victoria. Kennington? Kennington. Or is that Kensington? No, surely they haven't misspelt their own place. I would love to thank Patrick J. Early.

The Flamingo. Scooby-Diver. Oh, I like that. That imagine a flamingo scuba diving. That's fun. It's a suburb of Bendigo. Oh, there you go. And Patrick's the musician, I think I remember.

Sent us a fact-quered question about his music one time. Oh, yeah. That's great. Oh, really good. Keep it up. Do you want to bring it home? Thanks some people, David. I'd love to thank three beautiful people right here right now.

From Louisville in Kentucky, it's Jade Spade Mamelade. Oh, I like that so much. All one word, Jay, love it. Jade, Spade, Marmalade. She's Jade. She's Bade. It's just bad. She's just marmalade.

It's very 80s, very Madonna. Love it. Vogue. On the cover of a magazine. Jade Spade Marmalade. On the cover of a magazine. What about Jane Spade Marmalade is a... You name an animal.

Okay. Jaguar. Jaguar. Teacher's aide. Jade, Spade, Marmalade. Jaguar. Teaches Aid. That's good.

Very important work. Brand representative for Lucas. aide. This is good stuff. This is good stuff. You're welcome, Jade, spade marmalade. I'd also like to thank from New York, New York. Can that be right?

Home of Spagels? The only place? You can shoot yourself there. You can shoot yourself anywhere. I've learned from this episode. And from New York, New York, it's Julia Sun. Julia Son, that's nice. Matt, name an animal. A different name.

Okay. A white whale. Taxi driver. They have them. Yeah. That's great. I can't wait to see a taxi in real life. Wow.

We need a sunroof for its blowhole. Yeah. White whale. Thanks, Julie, son. And finally from me... That taxi driver is my white whale, quite literally. I'm giving my white whale to this bit. You left your phone in the back of the car and you're trying to track it down.

And finally, from it from I'd like to thank, from location unknown, I can only assume it's deep, deep within the fortress of the moles. A big thank you to L. EWE, maybe L, E-D-L-E, maybe with the surname that starts with S, maybe. But, yeah, if you don't want to have a B from the mole people, check your Patreon settings and give us your address. Yes, it means you can't get the Christmas card because we don't know what to send it to. Yeah, we don't use it for anything dodgy. We don't have time to be creeps.

No, L. We're busy people. Okay. L for lion. Okay. Lion. You and me, Dave, one word each for a job or whatever. Oh, okay.

Do you want me to kick it off or bring it home? Yes. Okay. Bank teller. Oh, I could go on rubber, you idiot. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Be able to tell you and the nerd way.

The best way to rob a bank is to work as a bank teller for many years, know all the systems and then, yeah, get it done. Okay, yeah. You're the inside person. I love it. I love it. Bank rob don't tell. That's why I know surname. Love it.

Exactly. Because they're a bank teller, but they ain't no teller. Yes. They're not going to give away. They ain't no snitch. Yep. Thanks so much. L, Julia, Jade, Patrick, Nicholas, Nathan, Karen, Ronja and Jackie.

You're all beautiful to me. Not us. Not Dave and Jess. We find you average. They find you disgusting. But we're in love, so we don't see attractiveness in other people. And when did you realize that you love Dave? First time I saw him.

Yep. Love at first sight. I knew very quickly. When you look into those baby Browns. His wedding day was the worst day of my life. Mine too. Not true. Just was literally biting her.

knuckles. Yeah, I was sobbing. And they were like, wow, she's so affected by the love. And I was like, no, no, no. She was so affected by just stopping herself saying, I object. I object. I object. Celebrant didn't ask.

And I said, you son, bitch. Well, I think Dave's wife put that in the stipulation, said, don't give Jess a moment. She's a real piece of work. Don't give her a second. You give her an inch. She'll take my husband. All right. The last thing we need to do is Triptitch Club.

Welcome to a few people in the Triptitch Club. These are people who've been on the shoutout level or above for three straight years. It's a bit of the thought of the mind. It's everything you want it to be. I've just got Jade, Spade, Mar-a-Lade stuck in my head. On the cover of a magazine. But I picture this to be like, you know, it's crushed velvet everywhere, red velvet, like Frank Sinatra kind of singing in the corner, jazz bar, something like that.

Jess thinks about it like... Frank's in the corner. Frank's in the corner. So you think of it more like an airport lounge. Yeah. Yep. Which until Sarage came along, I didn't ever know what that. I wouldn't have even known how to imagine that.

You were imagining a gate that you're waiting to board the plane, but it's not like that. And Dave, what do you imagine? Like a rock and roll club. Oh, yeah. But also there's a snooker room. Oh, low lights. Yeah. People are smoking, but it's also not giving us cancer somehow.

We're very magical. Cool. That's awesome. That's nice. And it doesn't smell bad. Dave normally books a band. He's also the MC for the night. Jess is behind the bar.

normally has come up with a cocktail, hasn't had a, probably hasn't had one that's been drinkable for maybe a year or so. But let's see if that changes tonight, because I have a funny feeling Jess has come up with something delicious for this episode about people landing planes. It's plane fuel. Okay, well.

That sort of softens the poisoning. And I've got plain food. Okay. Like little trays. Oh, great. Little pastas? Yeah, yeah. Well, we're out of pastas.

Pretzels? But I've got heaps of beef. Oh yeah It's a stroganoff With rice Brits Strong beef Strug enough

Strugged off Strugged Strugged Wolf Olover Clark House on Beef beef beef beef beef beef Strong strong strong

Strug strong strong strong strong On On on On on Off off off Off off So funny And then he smells

Anyway He's got a new Ombal Look it up Love that guy So fun Beautiful man He had a previous guest

Previously We've had a He was on He was on He was on the He was on the Oh shit I was like

Where is Ollie been on But yeah you're right He hit his head that day in Thailand, jumping off a, going down a slide or jumping off something at the water park. And he doesn't remember being on. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. The highlight of his life. Didn't he have a big bruise up the side of him as well? Yeah. It wasn't good. Anyway, a fun trip. If anyone goes back to listening, I go, geez, the OC didn't talk a lot in that episode. Now, you know what? Is concussed. Uh, and so. I always book a band. You always book a band, of course. Yes, and you're never

going to believe it. Because obviously, with an axe of this caliber, I booked them months, if not years, out. Yeah. You're never going to put it. On this plane-based episode. What do you got? We've got the Stone Temple Pilots dropping. Wow.

Can you believe that? Huge. And in the Tribute Club, everyone's alive. So it's just the classic lineup. All right. So we've got eight, is my can of that right? What? People to welcome into the club this week.

That's all right, Dave. You're best when you get a bit of a flow going. And when Matt doesn't interrupt and he just keeps the momentum going, you're going to be fine. If he doesn't stop and go, well, I can do better. Jess, can you stop interrupting? I'm trying to get a bit of a flow going here as I start to read out the names. And Dave, you're hyping them up. Jess is hyping up Dave.

Yep, hands on the butt. Get your hand on the butter. Yep, hands on the butter. One hand on the butter to lube it up, the other hand. What? No, what? Matthew. I don't know.

Just read the pricking names. I don't know. I know what's going on under the table over there. Oh, my God. I thought I could smell butter. Nothing weird. That was just Dave's popping popcorn. That's what that sound is.

Jess isn't shitting herself. Okay. I'm a human popcorn machine. All right. We're so close to end. I'm sorry for the loosenstay. It's lunchtime. Okay.

So, here we go. Here we go. Eight names. Dave, he's on stage, shouting him out. I'm on the door. I've got the clipboard. I'm reading out of the names. Dave's going to hype you up with weekword play.

Here we go. From Ketumba in New South Wales, Australia. It's Gina Lauren. Gina, great to see you. From Tonbridge in Ken, in Great Britain, it's Kate Robson. From Kate Robson, it's fate that brought you here tonight, Kate. Kate and fate. You rhymed Kate and fate like you rhymed Gina and see you.

From Tolerson in Arizona in the United States, it's Nick Pina. I want to see how you... Nick Peena, great to see you. From North or Walshian in Norfolk in Great Britain. It's Morgan Newstead. Stop the presses. Morgan Newsstead is here. Extra, extra.

Read all about Morgan Newsstead. That's good, thank you. That was a one too. Uh-huh. From Somerville in MA. I guess that's his mother in the United States. It's Adele Nitechus. Nighteous, you are so righteous.

Oh, you're so righteous. What's that made, Dave? We never remember it. Massachusetts. It's got to be. Is it? Let me look up quickly. No, I think it's probably Maryland.

We always think it's Massachusetts. It's Massachusetts. It's Massachusetts. We double bluffed ourselves. Yeah. And then we triple bluffed and now here we are. From Toronto in Ontario, which is Ontario in Canada. It's Haley Davison.

Haley, Davison, Savison, Savison, Sing the Knight. Never faily to have a good. time with Haley. Yeah. Oh my God. From the windy city itself, Chicago in Illinois and the United States is Rory McSweeney. Rory, what's your story?

Yeah, tell it walking. In the club. Walkin on your way in. And finally, oh, how do I pronounce this? I can't remember because I said it wrong on the Super Bowl episode. Decatur. I would have said decatur. So it's maybe Decatur.

Who knows? From Indiana in the United States. it's Cat Rogers. Cat, I tip my hat to you. I think their team was the triangles. Am I remembering that right? That sounds right. Decatur.

Oh my God. Imagine if I can decatur. How can we get the guy? Imagine if I can get the guy. Welcome back to another pronunciation. This week we are talking about April S in the United States. Decatur. Decatur.

Decatur. Decatur. Decatur. Decatur. Decatur. Hey, I'm from Decatur. I'm from Decatur. I'm from Decatur.

I'm from Decatur in Indiana. I'm Cat Rogers. That's how you sound to us. That's how you sound. Thank you so much. Make yourself at home. And, geez, please grab a glass of rocket fuel. Cat, Rory, Haley, Adele, Morgan, Nick, Kate and Gina.

And, yes, is there anything? We need to tell the listeners before we go today. That if you would like to suggest a topic, you can. There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website, which is do go onpod. com. You can find us on social media at do go on pod. And if you want to enjoy these episodes, ad free,

you can join up at patreon.com slash do go on pod. Or is it do go on? Who cares? It's do go on pod. Well said. Well said, mate. Thank you. Thank you, mate.

Boot at home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another fantastic episode. The do-go-on guarantee continues week afterwards. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Waiters. Bye. The Dicater. David and I are just friends.

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