Do Go On - 44 - The October Crisis

Episode Date: August 24, 2016

In downtown Montreal an English diplomat is getting dressed when a group of men with guns storm into his room and force him into a taxi. He has just been kidnapped by a French Canadian terrorist organisation, and the country is about to go into turmoil. (Also there is sex with radios and Pierre can't tell if people ghosts). Welcome to The October Crisis.Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. That's a cut. Hello and welcome to Duko One. It is not Sunday morning. It is Sunday night when we are recording this.

My name is Dave Ornicking, and I'm joined by the soulful turns of Mr. Matt Stewart. And that's a cut. What the fuck is that? No one says that. I was trying to sound like a... I've purposely mentioned your soulful turns. We have to keep you singing at the start of the show to make this next thing.

Yeah, got you there, Matt. And we're going to hear from... We're going to hear from Jess as well. Jess. You want to sing your intro as well? Nah. Oh, good. Good.

Great. For once in my life. I will not say on this podcast. For once in my life, I got someone who needs me. That was great, Jess. Thank you. I was kind of his backup singer before. Yeah, I know.

We'll see what I'll leave that in as well. Yeah, can you not leave any of that in? Let's go from the top. No, we're keeping it in, Matt. We want the listeners to hear your soulful song. And if you can hear my voice It probably sounds Is it sound a little bit scratchier than usually?

I've got a bit of a cold No, you sound wonderful and glorious Thank you. I hosted a 1980s themed Trivia night last night in a hall And I had to use my voice a lot And I already had a cold, so... You didn't even let me finish my compliment. Oh, please.

Like I was like, no, you sound great And then you just cut me down. So I also mention that my ears are slightly blocked And it's hard for me to hear what you're saying. Yeah, right. That's convenient. Another thing about Dave is...

Misogyny. That, oh, well, that makes it hard for me to make fun of you now. Me. But please. You were going to make fun of me. That's unlike you. Please try. Yeah, go on.

I was just going to say, unlike you, Dave doesn't need to bathe in his compliments. Yeah, I'm fine. Is this because I stopped a conversation before to read out a compliment I'd been sent? You're like, hey, guys, I just got a text from someone telling me that my stand-up bit was pretty great. So we were walking into the podcast studio and just loudly. said, well, this is very nice. And Dave and I didn't ask her what it was about. She waited a little bit and they went,

so it's a message about my stand-up from earlier. We stood in engaged. We're still looking. Eyes on the floor. They never make eye contact. And anyway, it goes on to say, geez Louise, you've got it, kid. I want to sign you right now to my big comedy label.

which is, it's just, it's not a big deal, but it's, you know, we're trying. And I mean, before you say no, just know that we're looking to work hard on this little project. And I want to make you a big deal. We want to get in the Jess Perkins business as well as the label business that we're already in. There's a long message. And that was, I don't know how you remembered it word for word there, Matt. That was amazing. Thank you.

And what's this? A birthday card from last year from my grandma. Oh, okay, I'll read it out to everyone. To our darling granddaughter. You know the best part about my grandmother is she, when I was a kid, I, I quipped that she was our family's ancient artefact. Oh, you piece of shit. That's very funny. You piece of shit, though.

But in a really loving way, and I was only about nine, and now she signs off her Christmas and birthday cars, love from your ancient artefact. That is so cute. Actually, okay, I take it back. That's adorable. Like she's not offended by it. She thinks this is great. What are my aunties? I don't remember the in-joke that we had when I was a kid,

but I always referred to her as the purple fairy. I don't know why. You don't know why anymore. I don't really remember how it started. I'll have to ask her, but she still saved in my phone as Purple Fairy and she signs off, like, text messages to me with Purple Fairy and a purple love heart.

It's so cute. Matt, touching story, please. We've got to complete the trio. Any adorable nicknames with family members. Make one up if you need to. It's not about. about an uncle who touched you. That's a different type of touching story.

Skip, skip. Okay, next. Just I'm scrolling through my... He's going through the rolodex of names. Okay. I remember we used to call one of our uncles square head. Is his head rather square? I can't remember why, but we used to laugh like we were just fucking him up so good.

Yeah. A, square head? And I think he played it. be like, oh, you guys, you have, uh, does he sign his text messages as S-H and then a purple square?

No, we, we don't talk anymore. I wonder why. No correlation. No, no correlation. Well,

anyway, guys, this is the show where we talk about our loved ones' nicknames and also we talk to you and each other about a topic. We take it in terms to do a report.

It is my turn. Yes. It's a Warnocky special, we love the Wornikey special. delve into the hat. Pick a topic and talk the talk. I'm feeling good. You feeling good? You said before you weren't feeling that good. No, voice-wise, report-wise.

Mixed messages. No, no, voice-wise, report-wise, impeccable. As always, please. As always. Voice-wise, I think you sound like an angel, so you're fine. Do I have a little bit of a... No. You sound perfect.

Oh, thank you. I was hoping I'd sound a little sexier than usual, but is that possible? You sound... Rhetorical? Rhetorical. Don't answer. You sound... As, you, oh.

You sound as sexy as is tolerable for me as a friend. Like, I haven't quite jumped over to the sexually attracted to Dave side of the fence. Do you what I mean? Is this a compliment or? I'm not sure anymore. I don't know what is happening right now. But I feel uncomfortable. It's probably best that we're not sexually attracted to each other.

I'm going to be honest. It's probably best. Look, I'm hurt for Dave. Matt on the other hand. I feel really weird about that sentence I tried to form just before. That's fine. But you think I'm sexy, which I like. But not in a weird way.

Wait, no, I think she was saying she doesn't. No, no, it's sexy, but not like so sexy that I'm going to... Right. I find you sexy. Pants on level of sexiness. Pants on level of sexy. Just like a little... Oh, Dave sounds a bit sexy.

Oh, but if I took my pants off, I would... No, no, no. Everybody keep your pants on. But if I took them off, it wouldn't be weird, but... It'd be weird. In context. In context. No, I don't think he'd...

getting it. Like if we all did a sleepover, would I have to sleep in pants? What, pajama pants? I don't wear pyjama pants. Well, you are on a sleepover. Do you, would you sleep? You just come and nude to a... No, not nude, I'm wearing boxer shorts.

Oh, that's okay. But there's no pants. I mean, it's winter. Why, do we talk on, like weird old silky ones or... No, like, you know... Just shorts, just like cotton shorts. Fabric cotton. Yeah, that's, okay, you can wear shorts, that's fine.

Yeah, like boxer briefs. Yeah, that's okay, you can wear those. T-shirt? You're wearing a t-shirt? You're wearing a t-shirt? Your little pecker isn't getting excited. Well, we also have our own beds in our own rooms and our own cities. We're going on a...

It's weird. We're doing a podcast. I'm in New York. You're in L.A., Matt, and Jess. You're in Auckland for some reason. Sick. It's quite strange because when we're here, we sleep in bunk beds on top of each other. But when we travel, different cities.

Different cities. We can't stand each other on the road. Speaking of traveling, I just found out my friend Matt is getting... He got engaged right. Yeah. And we've said for ages that his Bucks weekend is going to be in Munich. So we're going to Munich. No way.

What? When? And why Munich? Is there a connection for the group? Octoberfest, yeah. Octoberfest. Are you going next year? It'll be next year.

So it's 2017. Looking forward to it. That is awesome. Happy. Engage. Yeah, happy engagement, Matt. That is. What a guy.

He, he, he, um, That's so cool. Does anyone else, apart from you to remember the Munich reference could be awful if you were like, we were just talking about it today. We got, it was like, because he just came back from Europe and he's like, hey guys, I got some big news. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. And we said, Munich!

Oh, that's nice. You're supportive. That's exactly what he was hoping for a response from. I should make some sort of arrangement like that with my friends. but none of them are in like relationships that are going to, you know. You get in early, that's fine. All right, Jess, I'm getting, if I get engaged, I'll take you to. Cheesecake Shop, get a slice of cheesecake.

Yes. But your choice, your flavour. Get out. As long as it's not fucked. Raspberry, what are your raspberry cheesecake? I mean, I'd like to explore my options. I don't like, I'm Strawb. I like, I like, I don't like. A Passion Fruit.

Oh, I like that. I like the fruits, but I don't really like sort of like a, like a, just a plain. cheese house is a bit boring. My friend Linney has already taken my requests for what sort of birthday cake I would like this year because I get back from overseas a few days after my birthday. She's going to make me like a chalk mint cheesecake. I know. It's combining a whole bunch of things.

Chalk mint. I don't like it. I like chalk mint. I like cheesecake. Yeah. Well, let's combine the two. I'm willing to give it a try. I'll bring you some.

Wait, I'm not invited your birthday? Well, I wasn't really having a party. She's just making me a cake. What a way to find out. Yeah. I think you've been uninvited. Anyway, do you want to start on the podcast maybe? Unfortunately, it's not cake-based.

Oh, fuck this. Don't worry. I'm out. Wait for the day. I'll delve into the hat and I'll get the cake topic that has been submitted. Cake. Pastor's in there. Pastor is in the hat.

Oh, no, there's pasta. It's everywhere. It's very crunchy. Lucky's a dry pasta. Al dente. All right, we always start with a question. We do. My question is, if I mentioned...

If I was a rich girl. Sorry, yep. If you mentioned. If I mentioned the topic, which it is, I'm going to have a question about it. If I mentioned the October crisis of 1970, what country would you think I was talking about? Germany. Have a guess. 1970.

I'm not sure why I went Germany. The summer of love is over. So that's right. And we're in crisis. 1970. What do I know about that year? I don't think I know anything about 1970. The year after the moon landing.

It's the year the Beatles' poker. I know the Jermaine Greer released her seminal work, the female eunuch. In 1970, that's something I know about that year. That's about it. I read that today. That's fascinating. That actually is amazing that you know. But that wasn't, that wasn't an answer to his question.

And looking for a country. Country. I have said Germany. I don't know why. So Germany. Okay, I'm guessing it's not Germany. It is not Germany. Yes.

Sorry, I'm 40 something to go. All right. Is it? It feels like if it was Australia, I'd know. It's not Australia. I'm going to guess because you normally like to go for a more obscure country. I'm thinking something like Canada. Nah, it's not obscure.

That's the joke. I'm thinking. Well, I'll stop you right there, Matt, because the correct answer is in fact, Canada. You see, I had that question because I thought, well, crisis, everyone thinks Canada's great. Everyone likes

Canada. It's not going to be a crisis. So you'll never guess that. And I'd be like, guys, I'm talking about a nice place. It's Canada. That was weird that that came to mind. So, um, Canada, okay. This topic, the October crisis of 1970 in Canada has been suggested by

Carly on email. I assume she's Canadian. There's no evidence for that because this is I believe a famous thing in Canada but I mentioned it was her email Carly the Canuck at um Canada mail.com was it all oh Canada at canada at canada. Was it hey I'm a really lovely person from northern America um but not from the USA um just narrowing it down at at gmail.com yeah just makes it was it Carly from Canada at gmail.com. Was it, hi, I was born in Vancouver but now live in Montreal. Was it hi, I'm Carly A.

Yeah, Carly A. The last name is Anderson. Yeah, great. And I'm married to a Mountie and also I'm a Mountie as well. Because ladies can be Mounties. It's 2016 at g-mail.com. I've got a story that I never come across, and I assume she's Canadian, I only make that assumption because I mentioned this to my dad,

who knows so much, and he was alive in 1970. And I was like, have you ever heard of this? And he said, I don't know what you're talking about. Cool. I assume that maybe this is probably a famous political incident in Canada. Oh, political. Right at my alley. But not, that's right.

But not possibly here in Australia or for people that were born a lot after the event. Which is nice, because you know what? We talk about a lot of things on this podcast that our Australian listeners would be familiar with, but not our international listeners. I doubt they'd heard about Ned Kelly until I dropped some truth bombs on them. You dropped those bombs. And luckily we were wearing a lot of... of armour, so we survived.

We survived. All right, so let's jump into the October crisis of 1970. On the morning of October 5th, 1970. It was October. I reckon the crisis is that they ran out of October. So they've changed it to Rooknama?

We need to have 31 days. So they changed it to Rooknama. That's how October... I repeated the judge for you. You didn't need to. I heard it. I was about to come around to it, Jess. We all got it. October 5th.

On a quiet street, I'm painting the image here, guys, the landscape. In his large house in downtown Montreal, 49-year-old British diplomat, James Cross, was at home with his wife Barbara getting ready for work. He was only half-dressed when four men, three with machine guns and one with a revolver, suddenly burst into his bedroom. The four men had posed as delivery men dropping off a present for the diplomat's recent birthday, so the maid let them in, and then they pulled out, Machine guns?

I assumed they pulled them out from like a bouquet of flowers. Didn't kill the maid, but she trusted them. Because I had machine guns. I trust anyone who has them. Yeah, you're using. You're a machine guns? Come on in. Come on in.

More like David Attenborough. I would trust him more. If you had a machine gun. Big time. Make yourself at home. Make yourself a cupper. Don't put down the machine gun. Here's my pin number.

Hold on to that machine gun, mate. Here's my pin number. I'll trust you'll never need it. Because you're probably savvy. your business plans as well. Yeah. Probably got your own money. You've got a budget.

You save. Machine guns are expensive, mate. I know that. You know what you're doing. You know what you're doing. You know what you're doing. You're doing. He's him all right.

Cross was talking to his wife in his dressing room. Dressing room. So it's quite a pot-house. My dream. When the men suddenly appeared... The man with the pistol pointed at him and said, get down on the floor or you'll be fucking dead. He said that.

Not mucking around. He said the F word. He dropped the F-arm. That's naughty. That's naughty. They've just met. He's never met this man before. You don't say that in the first sentence to someone. Rude. It's almost like... It is. It is rude.

He's some sort of terrorist. His dog, this is James Cross, jumped on the bed and immediately started growling at the gunman trying to protect his masters. What was the dog's name? You don't know. Woofie. You made that up.

Did you make that update? That's what they call the dog on Terminator 2 to trick the Terminator to saying what the name. And then he goes... Your step-parents are dead. So awesome. So the dog's on the bed. Wolfie's on the bed.

He's grounding the guys. The gunman tells Cross's wife Barbara to hold the dog or he'd shoot it. So not a nice guy. Well, at least he didn't say he'd fucking shoot it. Or he'd fuck it. At least he didn't say you'd fuck it. Well, you know what? Hold that dog still or fuck it.

One or the other. I think you probably need to hold it still, to be honest. In both cases, you're holding it still. David. Hold that dog still so I can fuck it. No. No, no, all are fucking... No, they obviously did what the gunman said... And or...

And slash all. They obviously did what the gunman said, but Barbara insisted that she'd be able to say goodbye to her husband, and she bravely went over and kissed him. Wait, who... Oh, because they're taking him. They're taking him away. Okay. I thought...

Like, she's just like, well, you're going to kill him. No, no, we never said. Well, you're going to kill him. The arm, man. He's killing. Hey, we are. How time comes. It's what he would have wanted.

What? I'm right here. Shut up, James. We had a good run. We got married last week. Don't speak. The arm? Oh, my love.

Turn that fucking radio off. Fuck it. All right, I'll do it. I'll just hold it still. Hold it still. The armed men Then forced Cross

Still half dressed Into a taxi Which for me It seems so bizarre Because the taxi driver Presumably had dropped off What he thought Were four people dressed as delivery men

Yeah Which is very weird Now they've returned Holding machine guns And a half-dressed man And they're like Yeah We'll pay the fare

Take us to our hideout Also his name is Mr. Cross Like a Mr. Man book Get in there Mr. Cross He doesn't seem that angry He will be Nevertheless, James Cross had just been kidnapped by the radical group the FLQ, the Fronde de Liberation de Quebec.

So the FLQ, there's a bit of background, was a separatist paramilitary group in Quebec, founded in the early 1960s. It militantly supported independence from Canada for the French-speaking province of Quebec, so they wanted to become their own country. Proven. The French...

The French... Popom. Problem. I don't go on. Like Dave, trying to speak French. Bobon. Bo bon.

Can mean whatever you want it to mean. It's still my favorite. And bobobo? I tell people that story. I'm so excited. I've told so many people it. I'm going to make it a piece of stand up, I reckon. You have to.

I've told people at work. I've told my family. I'll be doing it at a gig and someone will say, mate, I've heard this story. You've plagiarized it. Yeah, yeah. My mate Chess at work told me. No, I'm the guy in the story.

It's me. Yeah, right, I mate. The FLQ was regarded as a terrorist organisation for its violent methods of action. Between 1963 and 1970, the group had detonated 95 bombs in Canada, mainly targeting mailboxes. But their website is dot-org. They hated female boxes. No, no, male boxes. They liked female boxes.

They hated mailboxes. So Muhammad Ali was public enemy number one. Right. The largest single bombing, the FLQ pulled off, was of the Montreal Stock Exchange, the year before in 1969, which caused extensive damage and injured 27 people. They haven't killed anyone, though.

Oh. In the bombings, in that bombing. Well, they haven't killed anyone. Why are we even talking about it? Like, they call themselves terrorists. Well, they bombed a lot of stuff. Our Montreal City Hall, the Royal Canadian Mounted Pounder.

Police, armed forces, recruiting officers, railway tracks, army installations. FLQ members in a strategic move had stolen tons of dynamite for military and industrial sites and financed themselves with bank robbery. So they're pretty serious. Sure. Bad dudes. By 1970, so the year of this kidnapping, 23 members of the group were in prison, including four convicted of murder. So there you go, they had killed someone.

But this was their first ever kidnapping. Of course, the man they kidnapped was James Cross. Mr. Cross. Mr. Cross. Or, as his friends called him, Jimmy Cross. Jasper. Jasper.

It's a good nickname. He was born in Ireland. Called Jasper. You know I love nicknames. Jasper's a good one. It is a good one, isn't it? Where does it come from? I'm not sure why they called him Jasper.

He had served in the Second World War, perhaps in his army days. He just nicknamed him Jasper. Who knows? We'll never know, Matt. He fought for the Liberation of France. He's no stranger to French. Liberation.

Let's not forget that. After the war, he joined the diplomatic service and eventually served as trade commissioner at various places around Canada before being promoted to senior trade commissioner in Montreal, Quebec. Now, if you're wondering what a trade commissioner is, fear not, because I've got the information. Great. The information. Information. Trade commissioner is the title of a government official whose primary duties are to promote international trade agreements and export trade programs on behalf of. of a national or regional government authority.

So he's just pretty much trading stuff between England and Canada. But he's pretty high up in the chain, so that's way he's in a nice house. He's a diplomat. He has a maid. He's got a wife and a dog. He's got a dressing room.

He's got a radio that you can fuck. That's right. I mean, those things, in 1970, those things cost a fortune. Am I right, Matt? Fuckable radios, yeah, big time. Big time. Try and find one now.

Oh, I can't. I saw one on Nantex Roadshow the other day. They were talking about like two, And a half thousand pound. You're kidding. Pounds. Pounds. Oh, pounds, sorry.

That's five grand here. Five thousand big ones. Yeah. As we call Australian dollars. Five thousand dollar reduce is our national currency. That's one that had been fucked already. Like if you get an unfucked radio. An unfucked one.

Oh, so still. Even more. Box fresh. Like a Barbie doll in the box. If you've got an unfuffed radio. Like a Barbie doll in the box. There's so much. going on here. It's like a rich tapestry of, oh, fuck.

That's a vivid image. Or is it? It's not. Let's move on. The FLQ's ransom demands were for the release of the 23, what they saw as political prisoners, and the broadcast of their group's manifesto to the public on the radio. There's that radio again. And we want it on this fuckable radio tonight. Whenever you guys talk about that radio, it gets me hot. We're saying yuck. Yeah, that's pretty offensive, isn't it?

Wow. What, the image of me getting hot for a radio is yuck? Yeah, yeah, definitely is. The Canadian foreign minister announced to the group that in exchange for Cross's life, they would let them go to a foreign country no questions asked. Oh. Which, if you're a kidnapper, to me,

that's not a very good offer because you could have just, that anyway. You didn't have to kidnap him and to be allowed to go to another country. You can't. You can. Like, it's kind of easy. And Canada, most countries will accept you with open arms. Yeah. They asked us a sign of good faith for the group to release cross. But of course, the authorities didn't get a response from the FLQ as cross is their only bargaining chip. As a sign of good faith, you release him and then we'll talk. Then we'll talk. If you release him, then we'll release your 23 Mays. I think that's fair deal. As a sign of good faith, that is so funny. If you were really trusting kidnapper.

Oh yeah, okay. Sure, cross, go. Okay, see what later. And now we wait. Great. That million dollar check should be arriving any day now. No questions asked. The authorities didn't get a response from the FLQ,

so as a second concession, they broadcast the FLQ's manifesto on the radio, as they had asked. Oh. I guess the group that hoped that more French-speaking citizens would hear their ideals and join the group. That's sort of what they're going. for. Rally the troops kind of thing.

Yeah, that kind of thing. Trying to get more people supporting their sides and they're not just a fringe group, but like, you know, have a lot of support. That's kind of a strange thing to play it on the radio, though. Play some propaganda of a terrorist group on your radio is pretty far. And we should rise up and we should kill the people that are paying for the broadcast of this message. It does seem strange. That's weird.

James Cross and his kidnappers. Kidnafters. Well, they were kidnapping. The technical term. James Cross in his kidnappers as I will refer to them from now on so I don't look stupid I heard their manifesto being read out on the radio but nothing changed

Of course it didn't Cross didn't realistically think they'd get their demands And over the next 36 hours he was sure He was going to be killed Then on October 10 The stakes were raised even further When Deputy Premier And a Minister of Labor for the province of Quebec

Pierre Laporte Great name Was also kidnapped by the FLQ Uh-oh. You're making light of this so bad. I didn't mean to you. Oh no, someone's getting kidnapped. Mwop, Maw!

Head up, Leport. Four-armed men approach Leport while he's playing football with his nephew on his front lawn and forced him into their vehicle at gunpoint. Pardon, monsieur. If I could speak to you for just one moment. In the back of this car? If you wouldn't mind just getting into my vehicle over here. Oh, yeah.

Sure, I'm just playing soccer, but I'll be back in a second. It's weird. You don't have an accent of any kind? Yeah, I've grown up in many different countries, so I've got this... Oh wow, that's really fascinating. Beautiful Australian voice. Where did you spend the majority of? Get in the car! Get in the car! And seen. They dubbed him the Minister of Unemployment and Assimilation, so they didn't like this guy at all.

And they held him for hostage, demanding the release of their 23 political prisoners in exchange for his freedom. Ed, James, still? This is a different group. cell of the same group. So the two men weren't held together. They're in different locations. Group wants the same thing, but the two men are nowhere near each other,

different parts of the city. Gotcha. Cross heard about this on the radio with the other group, and he was worried that now they were even more hardline. He hoped that they'd pick up Laporte first, then come get him, because I think he thought that this other guy as a minister is more important than him,

so he suddenly thought that they're going to go get the other guy before they get him. Sure. That's sad. But if it was a three, of us all taken hostage. I would assume I'd be the last to be picked up. Really?

Nah, fuck both of you. It'd be me first. I reckon you go first. Unless, well, I am the youngest. And they're most vulnerable. That's true you are the most vulnerable. Two days later after the second kidnapping,

General Tocot sent troops to patrol the Montreal region by request to the federal government. So now there's sort of army people everywhere. There's something you get worried. The two groups, the FLQ and the government then appointed a lawyer, to try and negotiate the terms of their hostages or the release. Isn't that very strange?

Yeah. You get like a lawyer on each side and they try and get a contract going? Yeah, that's weird. That is really weird. Because that doesn't happen in the films. Yeah. In hostage situations. Who's the terrorist lawyer?

Yeah, get him out. Oh, yeah. Imagine. So the terrorist lawyer is actually a guy that supports their ideals. So he's not just like government appointed. And then he's like, no, I don't want it. Go on. Go on there.

We've got to make it fair. We are Canada. Do your best. We're delightful. We are so nice. The next day, October 13, Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. So many Pierre's. Whose son is currently Prime Minister.

I was going to say. Justin Trudeau is like, and he is very popular in my hipster bubble that I live in anyway. He's delightful. I regret calling a hipster bubble. You live in a little bubble. You live in a bubble. I live in a bubble, but I'm not saying it's a hipster bubble. It's just a very, it's a very happy, friendly bubble.

It's a bubble for a bubble. of people that are right. Anyway, Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, father of the current Prime Minister, he's interviewed by the CBC with respect to the military presence because he was being criticised

for some of putting the military on the streets and some people are going, what about our civil liberties? Yeah. So when questioned by a reporter Tim Ralph on how far he would go in the suspension of civil liberties to maintain order,

Trudeau famously replied, well, just watch me. This has become a famous and often used phrase in Canadian politics. I've heard Just Watch Me. I didn't know they came up with it. Just Watch Me. That's sassy. Like the other day I saw this little kid say to their dad.

I'm going down the slide. Just watch me. And I didn't realize that come from Canada. You didn't realize the... So political. It is. I didn't realize how political that was. I remember when my brother got in trouble when he was about 14.

and mum said, Michael, if you don't clean up your own, I'm going to take your Game Boy away. And he said, you wouldn't do that. And she said, just watch me. Oh, my God. I had no idea. My mother, Anne Perkins was so political.

AP, big time. It's actually quite amazing. I went into the swatch shop at Melbourne Emporium. Did you? I walked in. And she said, hi, can I help you? I stuck my wrist out and said, well, just watch me.

She put a green watch on my wrist, and I paid $95 for that thing. Great. You've been talking about... She watched me. You've been saying you needed a new watch. Yeah, she watched me good. I'm really happy for you. That's great.

That's so great. And I just, I looked at her and said something in French. Bommon. Mom. Oh, I didn't realize I was speaking to a French Canadian. To which she said, $95. I won't say it again. Sarah, if you're not going to buy the watch, please leave the store.

You've been sending the cash register for 25 minutes. Also, why aren't you wearing pants? Well, it's funny as saying that because, then Dave, Dave pointed over. to the shop across the way, which was like a hair removalist place. Yeah. And he said,

just crotch me. And he pointed to these little pecker. And then there's... Because it's very hairy for some reason. Well, I imagine. And the shopping said to security came over and Dave was evicted. But I got that watch for free. They were not prepared to tackle me with no pants.

They were not prepared. Nobody is prepared to tackle you with no pads. And that's why I'm a winner. All right. No, that's enough. We've done one each. I think that's enough. We went around the table and you got greedy, Matt.

Yeah. You went for two and the second one was no good. What was the first one I went for? The kid on the slide. It was like a minute ago. Look, I mean, you had your pants down. I thought I saw an opening. And then I turned around.

Gross. Dave, please do go on. So that's a famous phrase. Well, Just Watch Me, in Canadian politics. I was reading about the phrase. It's got its own Wikipedia page. this phrase. What a family of politicians, too.

And even the son, Justin Trudeau, a couple of years ago, someone said to him, you wouldn't never consider being Prime Minister, would you? And he said, well, just watch me. Get out. Reference to his dad. I love that. That's beautiful. I love that.

I love that. It's so funny that that is a famous saying. There's got to be T-shirts, right? There's got to be T-shirts. Just Watch me T-shirts. Hashtag, Just Watch Me. There it is. There it is.

I did it. Just watch me. That's definitely. I did it. that's definitely the hashtag of the week it's very good but you used to actually create something there you're just taking a famous political saying and putting a hashtag at the front of it

no one Matt like I'm just trying to feel my way through life okay there's no real book come on Matt how many times do you have to tell you well yeah I'll get back into it it's almost like we're going to have to write it down in some sort of book

give it to you we should defeat the purpose oh Matt the negotiations between the two groups fire their lawyers are put to an end after just three days. They don't reach any agreements. Weird. Who would have thought?

Who would have thought they would? The next day, though, the general public really start to worry when union labour leader Mikhail Chautrand, who is an FLQ supporter, announced at a rally, we are going to win because there are more boys ready to shoot members of parliament than there are policemen. Oh. Jesus.

And that quote is widely reported on, it's in all the newspapers, and it really frightens many Canadians who are starting to think that there might be some sort of civil war about to break out in Quebec. Oh my God. On October 16, Prime Minister Trudeau shows that he was not bluffing when he said, Just Watcher me, because he granted the Government of Quebec emergency powers that allowed them to apprehend and keep in custody individuals. This resulted in the implementation of the War Measures Act, allowing arrests without trial

and giving the police further powers. Wow, that's dangerous. So you could lock anyone up for about four months and not have any. That's scary. Yeah, it's very scary. It did not come without its critics, but at the time, close to 90% of Canadians, and all three opposing political parties agreed with the measures. Yeah.

Some people are saying, hey, this is not cool, but the majority are saying, we feel unsafe. Probably just the majority are going, well, it's not me, so I won't get arrested, but it's like a lot of people probably were. Yeah, well, the police arrested and detained without bail nearly 500 people. Wow. Which is like some sort of thing that goes on in like a country run by some sort of crazy dictator. The trick is just to make the people scared and then you can take all their rights away. It's a trick.

It works. It works. It works. It's a tale is oldest time. That's right. Scare tactic. Meanwhile, the still captive James Crossman, James... Still there.

Jasper from the start. He was now allowed to sit at a desk during the day. Hello. With a television set in the corner. Oh, he's fine. He's got a TV. He's got a... He's writing his memoirs.

More than I've got. No, I've got a TV. But he watched the news in handcuffs and he wore a hood so we couldn't see and identify his kidnappers. What's the point in having a TV? Well, the hood, it's sort of, it's like it allowed him to see straight in front of him but not have any peripherals. We can't see their faces. So they can watch the TV. Because if you can't, if you can't see the TV, it may as well just be a radio that you can fuck.

Unless, Dave, is it a TV that he can fuck? I believe it was. That's why he's handcuffed. I'm listening. Just going for it. Well, he'd been up held captive for a long time. That's just how he liked it. All those fluffy handcuffs.

The next Saturday evening, news reports, a news report came out that a body had been found in the trunk of a car. It was just outside Montreal, and when it was found, it was confirmed to be Pierre Le Port. He ministered to second kidnap man. Oh, no. His name means Pierre the door. Matt, he was just.

I need a trunk of a car. Yeah, you would have thought it would have been... Oh, no. Yep. No, I don't think it could be as good or as bad as you think it's going to be. Just, yeah. It's weird that he'd be under a boot and not behind a Laport. Oh, no.

Cross was watching live on TV with absolute horror, because he was, of course, expecting to be next. And he had reason to because the FLQ announced that he will be executed. next if the quote, fascist police discovered them and attempted to intervene. They also repeated their demands and added in a few new ones. They wanted the FLQ manifesto published this time, sort of in a newspaper. I don't know how to get a book deal. We want Scholastic and we want a three-book deal.

That's right. We want to be in every high school across the country. They wanted the release of their political prisoners and they wanted an airplane to take them to either Cuba or Algeria. Both countries. They were offered that earlier. Yeah, they could have that. Any questions? Any questions?

No questions. No questions. Any questions asked. That's our deal. We'll ask any question. You let us ask any question. You can get on the plane. How many radios you fucked?

Ten? Welcome board. Welcome to plane. Welcome to plane. Straight to Cuba. To the April, Son in Cuba. Oh. Remember I said I wasn't going to sing on this episode?

That was adorable. Well, that was an impossible task. I can't do it. Cuba and Algeria were both countries that they felt a strong connection to as a group because of their struggle against colonialism and imperialism. They struggle? They struggled? They struggled.

They struggled? Is that struggle and trouble? Struggle? That's right. I create portmanteaus on the fly. They struggle. They struggled. They wanted a, quote, voluntary tax of $500,000 to be loaded aboard the plane prior to departure.

That's just ransom money, but they just put some political spin on it. What do they call it? Voluntary tax, sure, yeah. They should have just said, we want a donation of $500,000. And they also wanted the name of the informer who had sold out the FLQ activist earlier in the year. They wanted them to write it out. Oh. You know when you transfer money to your friends, like say somebody pays for lunch and you transfer some money and you always make it like a funny description?

Oh, like what it's going to be? Yeah. Like, the most recent one I got was nipple oil. It's pretty funny. Was it for some sort of other oil? No, it's because I'd been making a joke earlier that night about oiling nipples. Anywho. And you've got to print that out and take that to your accountant.

Yeah. What's this nipple oil? Never you mind. Exactly as it sounds. Also, it was like $500. It was like an expensive nipple oil. Or a lot. Yeah, a lot of oil.

500 litres of oil. It's a dollar or a little issue. It's not bad. It's a good price. Buy it in bulk, though. Anyway, I'd just like to imagine that, like, the government's way of fucking over the... The people that are asking for ransom is like, all right, fine, no, fine, fine, fine, we'll give you the money, sure. But I'm making it a funny, fucked name, so you look like a weirdo.

I'm going to write anal beads. Anil beads, you got to cash that out of the Cuban bank. Yeah, have fun with that, dickhead, you're going to look like a creep. Anel beads. $500,000 worth. Yeah, penis enlargement surgery, money. Money from grandma for penis enlargement surgery. $500,000.

And 12 of them going to cash it. The Cuban bank. That's what I like to imagine. We'll have 8 billion Cuban pieces, please. For my penis surgery. Thanks, Nan. Thanks, Nan's always looking out for you. At 2 a.m., this is later that night after they announced that they found Pierre.

Or earlier the next morning. Or early the next morning, if you were to be more correct. At 2 a.m., the national broadcast mistakenly announced that Cross was dead and his body was found. What? So he was very upset particularly because he thought his wife and daughter might be also listening or watching. And even the kidnappers took pity on him that night and gave him aspirin to help him sleep. Oh, they felt bad for him. They fell back because they were like, geez, you're not dead at all, mate.

Are you? Are you dead? We've kidnapped a ghost. Shit! Shit! Get us out here! We'll take the flight to Cuba! We'll take the flight to Cuba!

The handcuffs won't hold it, goes. He's fucking the TV like crazy. That is very good. Oh no. Oh no. Not again. You do this every time. Fuck Pierre.

Jesus Christ. There's always a P.A. It's always P.S. What? What? That's all P.S. What? You look like a normal man.

Sure. He floated through the halls. But don't every, don't ever all these bloody diplomats do that. You know the phrase float like a diplomat? You've heard that, surely. Am I the only one? Fuck, I'll go get another one. I'll go get another one.

No, Pierre. We can't trust you to not get a ghost this time. You fucked it. Pierre, sit in the corner. Go on, sit in the corner. You're out of the club. You are out of the FMQ. Oh, come on.

Come on. Come on, let me get one. Just double-checking before I go. If they're floating, they're the real ones, huh? Is that right? Oh, wow. Oh, man. You kidnap six ghosts and nobody trusts you.

Oh. This country is Fuck I'm moving the Cuba It's fucking Ah, it's fucking the radio That was very good That was very good

These handcuffs cannot hold him The rest of the podcast It's just going to be enjoying Dave's at all Worked there That's very good Dave Just two hours of recapping

Slowmo replays Do you know what sucks too though Is that a lot of Dave's stories Are made even better By his facial expressions and they just lost. They're just like a little treat for you and I. If anyone wants to give us a TV show,

we'll probably say yes. And when I say probably, I mean, definitely. Well, would we? What if it was like one of those crazy Japanese games? No matter what the show is. Wow. Okay. Yeah, I reckon.

Yeah, come on, Matt. What else we got going on? I'm in. I've got a blockbuster movie card somewhere in my wallet. So I've got stuff going on. Oh. You didn't tell us.

about that, Jess? Yeah, I think you should be sharing. Well. How long have you been sitting on that? You want to go get a VHS? We can get whatever you want. Five weekly, so five dollars, please. Thank you.

I assume inflation hasn't applied to this place. That seems too good. Five for five. That's too good. How do they ever make money? How weekly? I know. That's seven days out of circulation.

Anyway. No wonder they went out of business. We were talking about Barbara who... Barber Cross. His wife, who he was worried was watching. She had remained in the house for three weeks after his kidnapping, but she thought it was too stressful for her to be there at the time because there were frequent hoax calls from people,

claiming that they knew where Cross was, which is messed up. For a second when you said, like, it was too stressful for to be there, I thought you were going to be there. So she went on a holiday. Well, she went to, well, she went and stayed with relatives in Switzerland. Oh. Yeah.

But he's on a ski resort. Yeah. Oh, it's too stressful. I better go ski. Yeah. Hot chocky, thanks. Voning. What a bitch.

Tosters and all sorts of appointments. What an absolute bitch. Oh, wow. I'm not going to go that far. I will. If some, like, look, stress can do funny things to people. Yeah, you're not wrong. Some people.

Just need to ski. People mourn in different ways. Yeah. I like to ski downhill. I meant to say, mourn. Morn downhill? Morn downhill. Do you fuck toasters while you're mourning as well?

I regret this whole episode. It's been fucked. I'm having a great time. I'm asleep every time. where you record. Great. Wake me up. Wake me up in five.

Wake me up in five before you're done. Days turned to weeks. By late November, James Cross still had not been found. No. But he's not dead. The government tried many measures to find Cross. This is a quote from Cross's audio memoir of the story. Audio memoir?

Cross's audio memoir. How does that work? I'm just trying to figure out. Because Dave often gives away if they survived on it early, little clues like that. Could he have recorded the audio memoir on, say, the fuckable radio or something like that? Perhaps. And then died in custody, in captivity or whatever.

In a way. Or is this some sort of post-freedom audio memoir? What the fuck is an audio memoir? And in a way, follow-up question, is this podcast, in fact, our... This is kind of our audio memoir, but where we talk about the lives of other... Why didn't you let me finish my question? Maybe I was going to say something different. Oh, please.

Maybe in a way is this podcast, ow. Audio memoir is what I'm going to say, yeah. I'm very perceptive. You are. I've been very perceptive upside down. Yeah, I can run it upside down. All that long. Ew.

Oh, okay. I've got one. It does hurt to be called eel by Jess. I'm sorry. That's fine. As the audio memoir. As in all cases like this, police were bombarded with crazy people. of every sort with ideas

to where I could be found. They read all sorts of things into my letters, which of course I did not intend. My wife and I had the exchange letters, so he was sending letters to a... Oh, okay. For instance, when I wrote, God damn, this toaster's looking sexy tonight.

People read into it like, all these funny things. I was just saying, I mean, I just found the toaster sexually attractive. There's no clue. Jeez. They'll, honestly,

they'll put meaning into anything. Like, I fucked with this toaster and all. of a sudden they're going, he's having an affair with the toaster. Come. I wasn't an affair. He was just a one-mastair.

I never used that word. I just fucked a toaster. There's no emotional attachment. Start underlining it. I just fucked a toaster. Two underlines. Just. Don't read anything into this.

I'm serious. I literally had sex with the toaster. My wife and I exchanged the endearment poo, as in Winnie the Pooh. And there were a whole lot of policemen onto reading the A. A. Milne books in the hope that a clue would emerge. Oh, wow. Clairvoyance wrote in with detailed descriptions as where I could be found.

One of them claimed that I was in a building in East Montreal, which turned out to be a deep freeze store. One reference in one of my letters to pet, another name for his wife, led to a raid of an innocuous pet shop in West Bond. Jesus. Perhaps the most elaborate operation concerns certain radio signals which were picked up. Radio. Radio location.

was applied and the premises rated to discover that it was merely a radio shop which had left a transmitter on. Okay. Someone which is in the corner with it. So if people are reading so much into his... Fuck on the radio, obviously, that. Anyway. If they're reading so much into his letters, why isn't he dropping some clues? So he doesn't know that things are being read? Because I imagine his wife can't reply to his letters, because otherwise she'd know the address. So what's he writing? He looks like one of those creepy guys who keeps texting you on Tinder. So I think he's just writing letters saying like I'm still alive. But, I mean, if he doesn't know she's getting him or not.

Yeah. Why is that enough of a reason? Why write them at all then? I haven't heard from you, but assume you well. Yeah. You still haven't written back? What the fuck? Are you too busy to write?

I bet you've gone to Switzerland, haven't you? You have. I bet you're skiing. You're skiing again, aren't you? Mm-hmm. Classic bad. You always mourned that way. Yeah.

I know you. Pooh. Oh FLQ also sent letters to the authority Repeating demands They're still banging on about the demand But they even sent a photo of their hostage James Cross sitting on a box of explosives

Oh boy Some of me a bit threatening Sounds like he's had too much Mexican food, don't Mexican It's an explosive seat An explosive asshole Sorry No no no

Day to day cross just tries To follow orders to stay alive So it just becomes one day after another. He just watches his TV, writes his audio memoirs, writes them apparently. Well, he does his first draft. Fucks a radio. He's not an idiot.

You know, you get routine. I think that's the only way to stay sane in captivity. One day he was sitting watching television, as he does. With his dick. We have no respect for anything, do we? No. One day he was sitting watching television, and the kidnappers put handcuffs on him, which is the first time they'd done that in weeks.

So he's been there so long now that they've been there so long now that they're He's like one of the boys. Yeah, well, they started just trusting him to be better. He instantly knew that something was up. He asked to the captives, what's going on? I reckon he's being moved. They responded that they thought the police had finally found their hideout. This was confirmed when a little while later the electricity of the building went off.

They knew that they were being surrounded. Gras was then taken from his chair. Come up with your hands up. What? Pierre, go see what's going on. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's just some ghosts. Stop hassling me.

Now I can identify ghosts and people. First, you don't want ghosts and now you want more ghosts. What the fuck? Do you guys do a different accent for French-Canadian as to French? Yeah, I was just thinking. Yeah, absolutely. Did you not hear this little different? I thought I could. I just wanted to make sure. If you didn't, you weren't a racist.

Well, I'm not a racist. I just thought there were ghosts. So Cross was taken from his chair. led into the passageway between rooms and handcuffed to a door handle where he couldn't sit or stand. It's very uncomfortable. Wait, he couldn't sit or stand, so he's just kind of crouching. Yeah, crouching. Oh, fuck of that.

The door handle is this? It must be a pretty high handle. But then stand. Or low. So is he hanging from it? Or is it really? I look, I call bullshit. I think if you put both hands around the door handle, if it's a certain height, it would be hard to stand up properly.

Yeah, sure. If it was specifically, if it was low. Did I mention that he was seven foot eight? A little detail I left out. Is he really? That is tall. He is not seven foot eight. He's not one of the tallest humans that's ever lived.

You say that like I should have known. Come on, Matt. Come on. He currently plays basketball. Yeah, exactly. The Lakers. Really? Yeah, he says quite a life.

He's quite old. No, he was only five when this happened. Did we not mention that? Oh, I should have mentioned he's a 7.8, 5 year old with a talent for basketball. And politics. So he was born in 65. What does that make in 51? And he's still playing?

Still playing. Good on him. I mean, it's relatively old. Oh, to be playing basketball, sure, but just to be existing, no. At the top level. No. Not to be existing. What if he's a ghost?

I can't tell the difference. So he's handcuffed to a door. By this stage, bizarrely the mood in the house. had become quite lighthearted because they all knew they were all going to come out alive or they're all going to die. They sort of didn't see it one way or the other.

It became a standoff of sorts in the middle of the night where the FLQ threw out a message with all of their demands. Still demanding. This is a paper airplane. I love their demands now. And I want to fog at a pond.

I think we're in a pretty strong bargaining position. I know when you didn't know where we were, you didn't give us the things we asked for, but now that we're surrounded and, you know, we're in a lot of trouble. I think you'll see it our way. I think you'll be publishing this in the paper tomorrow. When writing the demands, one of the three kidnappers that was in the room with him said they must sign off with the group's slogan, which is Nuvan Krow.

Oh, I really want Jess to guess what this means. The slogan is Nuvan Krow. No cabbage. Really? It translates as we shall conquer. Close. The very idea that three guys in a house surrounded by approximately 1,000. army soldiers and police officers could conquer cause the group to violently start laughing,

including James Cross, because the tension had built up so much. They laughed. They started laughing. He said like, as if we're going to conquer, we're probably all going to die tomorrow. That's a little bit funny. Because it was so tense, so tense. You can't see where I got cabbage from there, right? Cabbage is close.

I don't know. Because I think the French word for cabbage is very similar to the French word for the thing that Dave said. Conquer. Conquer. I agree. And you know what? I only did a term of French.

It actually... It led to quite a few awkward situations when I was in Paris. Oh, I bet. Sweet Paris just a couple of years ago. When I stormed... A Bastille? Stormed the Bastille and threw a cabbage at the other guy. Didn't do anything.

Really? Because in my head, I'm like, well, that's done. Now, I'll take all this, thank you. I've conquered. I've, oh no, actually, and it was in that moment as I was trying to explain, and I'm like, now you see what I've done, I've thrown a cabbage at you, and he said, it's all yours. Yeah, yeah. He gave it to me.

Look, I own a lot of land in Paris. What you should have said was, you should have just said the eternal phrase, a bonbon. And you could have heard anything. He would have handed you the keys to the Eiffel fucking tower. The keys? It's got keys. Well, the lifts, I imagine. Sure, you got to turn those on.

Bob-Boh. Right this way, sir. What did you say? Please, follow me. Monsieur. What was the deal with that whole cabbage thing? A bon-bo. B-bon.

Oh, of course, but yes. We love about it now. Charmed, I'm sure. Kiddappers started to negotiate, and after several hours back and forth, the three FLQ members agreed to be exiled to Cuba. Remember, they've had this offer for two months now. The kidnappers really felt like the ideals of Fidel Castro.

Sorry, the kidnappers really liked the ideals of Fidel Castro was in charge at the time. And he granted them asylum. I like the idea that, like, okay, you can go to Cuba. No, all right. Okay, a few months later. Okay, so we've decided you can still go to Cuba. No. Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no.

These are now demands. We want to go to Cuba. Yeah, I've been sane. All right, fine. Yes. Cabbage. We won. We won.

Conquer. It's very confusing this language. An old exhibition site was temporarily turned into the Cuban consulate and was thus protected by laws that protect embassies. So that's where the release took place. What? Because there's all these weird laws about embassies being technically part of... If you go to the, for example, the German embassy in Australia, that's technically German soil.

What about the Dutch embassy? embassy. Technically German soil. I should have said that the Germans own all embassies. Right, got you. It's very bizarre. Where are all the embassies? The only one I know is off Little Column Street, there's the Monarchan embassy for Monaco.

Oh, that's cool. A lot of them are in Australia. They're in the ACT. So let's say, for example, like you're in Melbourne. Yeah. And like, what do you have to do if you lose your passport overseas? Do you not have to go to the embassy? If you're in Melbourne.

Yeah, you go to your country. Consulate or an embassy that represents your consulate. For example, if you're in a very dangerous country, like, let's say, Somalia. Sure. Australia might not have an embassy, but Canada might. So if you lose your passport there, they have a deal with a Canadian embassy. They all sort of act as your... We can say, hey, buddy.

Canadians are so lovely. Yeah, Canadians, very, very lovely. Yeah, because, like, let's say something happened and you needed that sort of support, but you're in Melbourne and your embassy is in Canberra. Then you've got to get there? That's a very far away Oh, you could probably deal with them somehow, I imagine.

Someone who was here at our studios recently is looking to go to America and they needed a visa from Brisbane. They were in Melbourne just so they could go to a meeting to get this visa. You're kidding.

No shit. So there's one in Sydney, one in Melbourne apparently. Wow. But none in Brisbane. Well, they go, maybe you do have to go if you want to get your passport. So, bye, that sucks. Moral is don't lose your passport, especially in Somalia.

Good call. Good call. Very dangerous place. Anyway, so they set up this exhibition site as the Cuban consulate. The deal was as soon as they arrived in Cuba, Cross would be released from the consulate. So he'd have to stay inside. Until they get to Cuba? The kidnappers were, I think, rightfully so extremely suspicious of all of this

and suggested that as soon as they got outside the building, they'd just be mowed down with machine guns. Sure. Cross pointed out that they could hardly do this if he was among them and they agreed. Oh. So they're like, well, if we walk out the front door and I'm there. He's kind of helping him out now. What are they all buddies or something? I think that he's thinking, this is the best way for me to get out.

Sure. Everyone keeps cool. If I get to this consulate, then I'm fine. Yeah, okay. Fuck them after that. The kidnappers and Cross left their hide out and drove in very hard speed, driving to the streets quite dangerously, apparently. the back of the car and the windows were covered in newspaper

to prevent snipers taking shots of drivers. Because newspaper is, of course, bulletproof. Of course, exactly. Where could they possibly be in this small car? Where would the driver be? I can't tell. How would you know? Well, anyway, I'm clocking off.

Snipers, am I right? Lazy. Can't live with them? Can't live with them. On the dot of their knockoff time, they're out. It won't work a minute over. Clock watchers, they are. They bloody are.

There, we said it. Snipers, if you're listening, we've, pull up your socks. Hey, you know how we keep banging on about how nice Canadian people are? Yes. Is there anything in that? Like, surely a country of multiple million people couldn't just, like, how does a country get a reputation as being nice? I've only had good experiences with Canadians, right? There we go.

But surely, there are assholes. There's got to be assholes everywhere. Sure, but what sort of reputation do we have, do you think? Oh, racist morons. So, accurate. Oh, I don't know. I think that's... It probably depends on where you are.

If you go to places like Bali, we're just the most... We're the worst people ever. But, you know, actually, probably even in London, they probably don't like us very much. Yeah, I don't know. Hmm. But then, think about all the good things we've given the world. Okay, Vigemite. Sam Neal, technically a Kiwi.

Hill... Hill, West. Technically a Kiwi. Lamington's, probably Kiwi. It's a victim. Kiwis. Fruit or bird. Yeah, what have we done?

The Harker, Kiwi. Damn it. The New Zealand National... First people to allow women to vote. New Zealand. Gay marriage, nope. New Zealand. And everywhere else.

A flag with all white stars. Cup that, New Zealand, yours are a little bit red. Ha ha ha! Dickheads! Yeah, we found some. And Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy! And our wanker celebration They had really bad chance.

I hope people like us. Let us know. I'd like to know what our reputation is. They think we're like super needy. We're very neat. No, I would be interested. I asked some Americans recently and they wouldn't really give me an answer. That's not a good sign.

They were like, oh, no. They always go, you arseys, we love arseys. I've heard Americans say that to me into my face. Yeah, that's just people being nice. I think people, I think if anyone asked you to your face from anywhere, what do you think of us? What would you say to them? Yeah, true. You're so lovely.

Everybody's so nice here. I've never heard of your country. And I'm in it. Wow. This is a turn of event. And I'm in a big. I'm Warwicky. I'm crazy.

Anyway, do go on with you, silly little report. Crowds and hundreds of police officers. and soldiers line the streets so they were driving through. The guard of honour, nice. Yeah, that's right. I was absolutely. Minute silence.

When they got to the building, one of Cross's colleagues was waiting for him. He got out of the car and turned left. The kidnappers turned right, and he never saw them again. What? They did the deal. Cross stayed in the consulate until midnight.

So he waited until they were able to land in Cuba. He was able to call his wife in Switzerland. I wonder how long the flight is. From Canada to Cuba. Couldn't be too long, right? Two and a half hours? Four hours. Canada is pretty big.

It'd be like north to south of Australia. I'd say about five hours. Yeah, I agree with what day. What's the longest flight within Australia? Sydney to Perth? No, Brisbane to Perth. If you're talking about capital cities. Well, I've got one.

If you want to fly from Quebec City to Havana and Cuba, it will take you five hours and 45 minutes. Boom. Stop in Montreal. I doubt they had the stop. They probably didn't have the stop. We just went straight there. Paid more for the direct flight.

Yeah. Was there a tail wind? Yeah, or headwind or tailwind, yeah. Oh, God, I mean. There's so many. Questions go on and on. We can give or take, but around five hours. Any questions asked.

Was the pilot running late that day? Who knows? Did he have the runs that day? Yeah, that's right. No, Jess. Put on all the pilot, I'll be in the John. In his first few moments of freedom, the first thing James Cross...

I'll like you. He's laughing at the John. No, the runs. Oh, the runs. Is that something you said? Yeah, you're pretty happy with yourself over there. Fuck you. He's laughing at her own joke again.

Would you like me to Puga on? Pug on. No. In his first few moments of freedom, the first thing James Cross did was sit on a chair and... And poo! No, it's even... It's quite silly. He sat on a chair and spit and spun it around and turned his head because that's the first time

me you've been able to do that in two months. James, there are better things you could do, mate. I know. Eat a Mars bar. Wash your toes. Where's the tow bath? I demanded a tow bath. That was one of the demands.

Did you not read our demands? It's like, well, sorry, sir, you made 600 of them. We hadn't read all of them. The tow bath was number one. Like, mate, you're the kidnapped victim. Why are you making demands about tow bath? I wanted a tow bath. Get the tow bath.

We got a tow bath. Oh, there's been a horrible miscommunication. My writing is terrible. I did have handcuffs on. Yeah, had handcuffs on. It was that bloody Pierre bloc, wasn't it? He always gets sober and tow-bile confused. Food arrived, but unfortunately for cross,

nobody had thought to provide any drink. This is later in his words. He hadn't had any alcohol in two months and really wanted a drink. Oh, poor thing. Well, you have just been kidding. You probably wanted a stiff drink that whole time. Yeah, but like you just got some food brought to you. You don't fucking suck.

Yeah. What about you just had, you just lived. Yeah, congratulations. You're alive. She'd be pretty happy. No, but you didn't bring me a drink. Well, all right. Ask nicely.

Geez, Louise. So the ordeal, however, was over. In the end, five kidnappers were given asylum in Cuba. They were flown to the island country via a Canadian forces aircraft. So maybe even quicker. They're on some sort of awesome jet. At the end of December, the three members of the FLQ cell that murdered Pierre Laporte, the other minister, who were still at large,

are arrested after being found hiding in a six-meter-long tunnel in a rural farming community. They would later be charged with kidnapping and the murder of Pierre Laporte. The military are pulled out of Quebec on January 5th and life goes back to normal for the city. So they'll do for a bit over a month longer, just in case. And then we have the later life of the kidnappers. Eve Langlaugh was arrested in France later on for possession of illegal firearms and was sentenced to two years in prison there. James LeCont.

There's always a LeCont. He returned. He returned to Canada in 1979. So they went back and he was arrested when he arrived. He served two years in prison. Did you guys know that LeCont is French for The Cont? I'm so glad you've got the French Dictionary open over there. You're so quick at flicking through the pages.

So, so quick. another person Jacques Cosette Trudel and his wife Louise Lecont There's also a, there's always a Jacques. Jacques, another Lecon. They also returned to Canada and they only served eight months in prison for the kidnapping.

Wow. The couple split up. Louise attended a Montreal University and she received a degree in communications and continued on to get a doctorate. Well, good for Louise. And Jacques has been a successful screenwriter and filmmaker.

I feel like they haven't learned their lessons at all. Paul Rose and Francis Simeard they were also convicted of the murder of Pierre Laporte and they went to jail for 11 years but that's the longest sentence that anyone got out of this. Can you imagine? So the couple broke up right? And so then can you imagine like them trying to get back out

into the dating scene? And you imagine being on a date with someone and this guy seems great. He's like a screenwriter. He's really interesting. He went to prison for kidnapping someone. What a babe. He's a ghost rider.

That's bloody Pierre. He's a bloody ghost. Oh, but I was surprised that not many people, They served between eight months and two years for the kidnapping. That's insane. That's not very long for a pretty serious crime. It's not a nice thing to do to someone. But in the end...

He's all right. He's all right. Is that your point? But the other guy, Pierre La Porte was murdered. Yeah. They only went to jail for 11 years. For murder. Not very long.

But he's all right, isn't he? He's a ghost now. He's a ghost. He's a guy. He can do whatever he likes. No handcuffs could hold him anymore. You know? You think about that.

John's bloody cup of ghost. You can't. Could get out of the boot of that kind of easy. You may as well, unless you're bloody Muhammad Ali. He could handcuff lightning. Or a ghost. That bit never gets quoted. He did say that.

He did. Yeah, no, I remember that. James Cross returned to England straight after the kidnapping. Met his family back in London. He discovered that very large offers were being made for his story for newspapers and the like. sum up to a hundred thousand pounds. And he said no, because it would not be right. Well, the foreign office actually said, who he later said, did very little to help him in the whole situation.

They blocked him from profiting from the crime. Nice. So he wasn't allowed to... It's weird that you can't profit from someone else's crime. I get why he... I was the victim for two months. Sure. I just want to, yeah, get a little something out of it.

A statement, this is also from his audio memoir. which is pretty much they just interviewed him about the whole situation and he told his story in his own words. Okay. An early podcast. It's just, well, it's just an interview, isn't it? Yeah, but it's an audio memoir. But he had written out, written out his story and then sort of read it for himself. It was pretty much an audio book.

And then they asked him questions. No, I think... Dave, you're flipping and flopping. No, probably beforehand they asked him questions. It would be like, hey, if you could cover this point, this point, this blah, blah. Sure, okay. Audio memoir. But this is a statement from him, he said, another question.

question which is frequently raised is the Stockholm syndrome, where the victim becomes associated or identifies with the objectives of the kidnappers. That's what I mean when he said, when he sort of was like, oh, we're buddies now. Well, I can only say that I felt no such sympathy. I hated the lot of them and would have cheerfully killed them if the opportunity arose. Okay. So there's the answer to that question, Jeff. No, Stockholm.

Cheeful. Cheaple. And he... Ha, ha, ha, ha. Boom. I couldn't find anything saying that he had passed on, so I believe James Cross is still alive at age 95. Wow.

If he is still alive, he would be 95 years old. Is he the NBA guy? I spoke to a 95-year-old. He's the 7.8 NBA player. What do you hell? I'm not a customer on the phone today at 95. Do you reckon it was him? How many 95-year-olds could there be?

What did he sound like? It sounded really sophisticated. English? English. Yeah. Do you sound tall? He sounded so tall. Could you hear a radio crying out for help in the background?

I could. He was actually... Oh. Oh, what's he... No, I thought it was always... I thought the radio's liked it. Oh, man. Making an alarm.

No, no, no. Well, I can't end on that, because that was going to be the end. Oh. So, well, that is the story of the October crisis and the kidnapping of James Cross. That whole time, were you just imagining a portable radio with a flashlight on the back of it? Yeah, something like that.

Why hasn't anyone invented that? So you could fuck your favorite song. I think we should just start sticky-takes. fleshytes to all kinds of appliances. A blender. It vibrates. Amazing. Okay.

Microwave? No. It's potentially custom genetic. Yeah. We've got to, I think we should draw some lines, but otherwise I think it's a pretty good idea. What do you reckon you'd play on the radio? It'd be talkback radio, right?

Oh yeah. Neil Mitchell. And I don't like stuff. Oh, yeah, you don't. Keep complaining. Keep complaining. What else is an issue in society? Happened to us.

I know that was. The whole episode, yeah, I kept talking about. I felt weird. On, like, the last month of episodes, I've felt weird. And I'm sorry, everybody. No, but people have said they like this. Have you got some personal histories, Matt? Yes.

Yes. Clearly I do. I'm crying out for help week after week. And people keep tweeting in that they love it. We love it when Matt's fucking mental. Help me help myself, people. Yeah, genuinely, I feel like I've got some issues. No, you're all right, buddy.

All right, good on you. I will say, so we've taken a very silly take on the topic. But when I was researching it, I listened to a, there's a podcast from BBC Witness. And they've done it respectfully. From the 1990s. If you want to listen to, we can hear, they've taken a lot of the audio memoir, so you can hear them speaking these own words. If you would prefer a more educational style.

I will tell you, they mentioned sexual clock radios, a total of zero time. So it's very boring. Yeah, take that BBC, your dig heads. Don't you think that's a bit weird? Like, why would they... Why would they... How would you brush over that? It's very strange.

It's... They call themselves journalists. That isn't journalism. You've done a journalism degree. I have. What's the number one rule? Fucking radios. Number two rule?

Number two rule. Mention the fucking radio. There it is. And I pretty much just three, four and five are pretty much just underlining those rules. I cannot stress enough. See above. Yeah, see above. And then the last one's just, um...

It's just an instruction on how to get that nasally presenter voice, that's all. Yeah, yeah. Nasly voice, Channel 7 News. Very good. I'm Jess Perkins in Baghdad, you know. You always got to be somewhere dramatic. It's never, I'm Jess Perkins, Sydney, you know? Yeah, and I'm just Perkins, the Bahamas.

What a terrible thing it is that Sydney never has any war or conflict. Well, what a terrible thing that is. No, one day, Sydney, one day. Big dreams. Chin up, kid. You'll be right. So that is the end of the show. Thank you very much for Carly, who we believe is Canadian.

Carly at Canadian gmail.com slash CA for suggesting the topic. If you too want to suggest a topic, you can, of course, tweet us in at Do Go On Pod or email like Carly did. Do Go On Pod at Gmail.com. Facebook, we can get a few messages. And we can always just comment on the wall, then other people can chime in. We like when our listeners start having a little conversations. I like when they chat amongst themselves. It's cool, isn't it?

I watch it, and I'm like, ooh, look at them talking. My little puppets. Yes. Talk, my little puppets. You were saying a little while ago that you love the Sims. Does it feel like a weird version of the Sims? You've created these people. Yeah, I've created you.

You exist because of me. And now I'm going to lock you in a room with only a fireflies. And just see what happens. I'm going to put you in a pool when you're tired and take away the letter. How long can you swim? Oh, is that real stuff? Yeah, it's a thing they drown in there. That's pretty fucked.

That's fact. It is. No, I don't think of our listeners as Sims. I just really like to watch them. Not watch. I'll stop saying watch. I like to see them interacting with each other. It's very nice. You like to now watch this.

Is that it? Watch me. Watch me. Oh, fuck, no. I am on. Great report, Dave. Thank you guys. I hope you enjoyed that report.

Yeah. You can always suggest us to a friend. Yeah. If they like podcasts or if they don't know how to like podcasts. If they don't know how to like podcasts. I don't know how to like things Well, I'll make you like him But I don't know how they're...

Some people, I guess some... Podcasts are obviously Quite popular, but have you got some friends? Download the app on their phone. Chuck a couple episodes on. And by that time, they'll be bloody hooked. We are an addictive substance, banned in many countries. Mexico.

Turkmenistan. Yeah, we're definitely banned there. We better not have any planes that get diverted to Turkmenistan. Yeah, no good. point. And of course, getting into the hashtag, Just Watch Me. And if you're a Canadian listener,

just tweet in. Is that a famous story where you grew up? That must have been, that feels like that must have been huge news. I reckon they'd still have a national holiday for it. Oh, that's interesting. It'd be cross day. I don't think that's a thing.

Cross-s-s-c-c-crocent. Cross-ont. Lecrosse was named after. Popular Canadian pastime. I'm sure we have listeners in Canada so you'll let us know if you'd heard that story and also let us know what you think of Australians and also what you think about us individually as people

and also let us know what you think of the Calgary Stampede and the bobsledding team with John Candy and if they're still around your favourite colour and um you know that'll probably do that'll probably too that's probably enough homework for this week I think that's actually heaps

Have you ever ridden a moose you probably can't fit that into one tweet so it's going to have to be a couple of tweets We want 10 tweets from each Canadian. Oh, boy. All right, well, thanks for listening, everyone. That's something for you to do, and we're going to keep writing reports,

because we're going to keep the show going. We'll be back next week. But until then, I will say goodbye. Bye. Later, I'm going to ride a moose. Fuck a toaster. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are,

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