Do Go On - 442 - The Pisces Submersible Rescue

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

This week we talk about Roger Mallinson and Roger Chapman who in 1973 found themselves at the heart of the deepest submarine rescue mission in history.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07:29 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/   Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23862359https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2023/06/22/pisces-iii-submersible-rescue-titanic/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rescue_of_Roger_Mallinson_and_Roger_Chapman https://www.britannica.com/technology/submarine-naval-vessel https://precollege.oregonstate.edu/sites/precollege.oregonstate.edu/files/cartesian_diver_lacuknos_10-15-20_-dc.pdf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Wonki and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, you little gremlin. Hi.

Hello, you little grub. I'm a gremlin, I'm a grub. I'm here for a bit of fun. It doesn't quite rhyme, but, you know. It doesn't, it doesn't rhyme at all. Yeah, you say something about yumb. Try it again. And in yum or...

I'm a gremlin, I'm a grub, and this podcast will be yum. Yeah, that's fantastic. I think what about Monszi who said this podcast would be yub, but that's okay. Oh, yeah, wait. It was meant to rob with... Oh, boy. Sometimes it sounds like you're, or seems like you're doing a bit, but then you are absolutely not doing a bit. No, never doing a bit.

Everything I say is genuine. He's a very sincere man. Yeah. It's great to be here, doing what we do every week. So grub and yumb don't wrong. No. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah.

Man, that would have been infuriating. creating to listen to. I'm already learning here today. But just, what do we usually do here? Wow, what a fantastic question. And a beautiful segue. What we do here is one of the three of us, research as a topic, often suggested by our wonderful listeners. They take that topic, they study it, they research it.

They other word for the same thing. They yom it. They yom it. I don't think that quite works today. They absorb it. and they write a little report is what we call it. Bring it back to the other two who listen politely, who never interrupt,

who never go on dog shit riffs, and who definitely can rhyme. And it's Dave's turn, which means Matt and I get to sass it up as the sass twins. Dave's time. And we are already red hot. I'm a grandma and I'm a grub, and I'm about to do the podcast that I love.

Is that closer? That's good. Yeah, that's good. And Dave, we always start with a question. All right. My question for both of you, but more for one of you than the other, let's be honest. Wow. Well, which one? I mean, he's looking at you.

No, now I'm looking at you. Okay. Hands on buzzers. We'll just yell at it out. If you know what, what is the dumbest transport? A submarine! It is summaries. Correct.

They're dumb. They're so silly. I love them. Yeah, I don't hate them. Do you love a sub? I love a sub. I love a sub. Oh my God.

I'm a grandma and I'm a great. grub and I'm about to tell you about sub. It was there. That third sentence was way too long. I'm a gremlin, I'm a grub. He's a tail of a sub. There you go. Okay.

Do you see how it goes? Yeah, he's very good. I want to just on the record, I think people have misunderstood my, my, misunderstood. They've misunderstood stub. People think I hate submarines. I don't hate them. I just think they're very silly.

Yeah, and you love whimsy. I love whimsy. I think they are so silly. Like really just think about it. They got a little periscope for looking around. That's so funny. And then like a boat that goes, I'm hiding.

I'm down here. Ooh, it's so dumb and funny and I love them. Oh, that's so great because, so today's topic involving that dumb transport was suggested by Andrew Mallard from Indiana, apparently from near Muncie. Andrew wrote,

this topic was voted on by the Patreon supporters at patreon.com slash do go on port. I put up three separate topics and I said, let me know on the comments, what you voted for and why. This got over 50% of the vote. Wow. Nearly every comment was because I want to hear just talk about it. I love them. You know what else I could talk about?

Muncie, Indiana, because that is where Jerry from Parks and Rec loves to holiday. Ah. I thought it sounded familiar. Yeah. When he said near Muncie, I'm like, who cares? If you're in Indiana, how close to Gary are we? Yeah. That's the question on everyone's lips.

Are you going to look it up? Uh, yes. Are you just doing something else on your computer? Are you just playing battleship? He just opened his laptop to some other reason. I'm sending an invoice. I, yeah, maybe in the past I've said I hate submarines. I don't hate them.

I don't wish they'd never existed. But you don't understand them. I think they're very silly. Do you fear them? Because fear leads to anger. No, I'm sure in some ways I envy them. Because I don't like being underwater. Makes me anxious.

Oh, fair enough. You know, like, I remember being in, we're in New 7, playing in my friend lives pool in the backyard, and we were trying to tie something to a big inflated crocodile or something. So I was going underneath it, and I didn't like being under the water with something on top of me, like not having immediate access to fresh air. So I don't think I ever want to go in a submarine.

You'd probably hate to do that swimming under the ice as well. Oh, yeah. I find that so terrifying. Yeah. Like, that's surprising me. You'd probably hate that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Not being able to access oxygen.

Probably hate that. You know, falling through the ice and being, and then being sort of swept away from the hole and being like, ah. Yeah. Tapping. I would. I would. I would. You'd hate that.

Yeah. Wouldn't you? Yeah, I would. I just think, take experiences on. Yeah. Fall under the ice. Get swept away. Yeah.

See what happens. See what happens. Uh. Uh. Uh. I developed some great mime skills. Exactly new experiences. Is it true a matter that we have, I think I've heard you say this before,

we have people who are sub-mariners that listen to this show? We do. What do you mean? I think one got in contact with us and I can't remember. I saw it and then I didn't. But they were from, they're from, I think they're based maybe in Perth and said that they'll give us a tour of the sub if we're ever back over there. Cool.

It's incredible. But then there's some sort of incident in the ocean and they were immediately. called to war and we're stuck in there going let us out. No. But then they go, you're all, you've all been officially given the titles of Submariners. Oh, yeah. Maybe.

They'd probably put me in charge. Yeah, probably. Yeah. They'd probably get Dave on the poop decks. Do they have them? Do they have subpoop decks? Yeah, but I'd be on the, on the, on the intercom. Yeah, I'd do radio stuff.

Yeah, yeah. But not like communication, just like, I'd be spinning. I'd be spinning tracks. Yeah, yeah. Hot tracks. He's a bit of share. That's right. Again.

I only have one tape. Do you believe? Which you would have thought it would have been turned back time because that was one on the Navy ship. But anyway. Brull the wrong tape. Okay, let us start. Monsie's nowhere near Gary, by the way. Right.

How far we're talking? Well, you know, like in terms of... In the same state. It's in the same state, but it's way closer to Indianapolis. Uh-huh. You nailed that. Absolutely got it out. I think I hit that just right.

Indianapolis. It's a three-hour drive. Is that all? That's not bad. You drive three hours to go to heaven, wouldn't you? Yeah. Just saying... I would.

For a glimpse? Just have a look. For a visit. Yeah. Be good if you could just visit. Day trip. Anyway, you probably want to start the episode. Yeah.

Before we get to the main topic, which does involve a submissible vehicle, let us start with a brief history of submarines. Right. For millennia, man has stared at fish and thought, I want to do that. Wait, wait, want to do the fish? Is that what you're saying? I want to have sex with this thing.

If only there was some sort of machine that could get me closer for this liaison. I want to do that. Dave, I don't know what men you've been hanging around the last few millennia, but I'm just, have you seen people who want to fuck fish? Mainly Troy McClure. Yeah, right. Isn't that what the saying is, we're not here to fuck fish? That's what it's about. We're not here to do that.

But some people from millennia have thought, actually. Actually, I am here to fuck fish. You know, I grew up, I'm sure we've talked about this before, but I grew up with the alternative version of we're not eat of fuck spiders. No? I grew up with a, we're not eat a fuck fish. And no one else recalls it, but that's a real Mandela effect type situation. Even in your family.

So for people that overseas maybe is a phrase that sometimes people say, we're not here to fuck spiders, like we're not here to muck around. Let's get on. Let's get on with it. Yeah. And your family said, we're not here to fuck fish. Well, I should check in with my family about it, but that's how I recall it. Yeah.

I believe that's how I always said it. We're not here to fuck fish. I think it's the superior one. Do you think your family had to say that because your family does have sex with spiders? Yeah, we were often going around fucking spiders. It would have been inaccurate to say. Yeah. It would have been inaccurate and we like to be in an arachnids.

You know what I mean. I think you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? He's made it one sentence into the report. Sorry. I've been going for 12 minutes. That didn't feel worth it until the interactant now. I agree.

I fully agree. Oh my God. It's so brutal to get that inside into your mind. You're going, not worth it, not worth it. Okay, just be worth it. No, no, no, very worth it. Somehow he's pulled it out of the bag yet again. Yeah, that's what he does to the fish.

No, that's not what I'm there to do. All right, there were various plans for submersible boats and crafts throughout the Middle Ages. But the first major design that is commonly pointed to came from Englishman William Bourne, who designed a prototype sub in 1578. His design called for a completely enclosed wooden vessel sheathed in waterproofed leather. Wow, wooden. Wooden and covered in leather. Sadly, it was not built in his lifetime. Wow.

It sounds more like a submersible, it's more like a submersible. lounge, you know, like a leather. What do you call those leather lounges? Like a lazy boy. Yeah, yeah. Like a submersible lazy boy. What are those fancy? Chesterfield.

Oh, yeah, right. It's like a submersible chesterfield. Maybe timber with leather on top. Yeah. Okay. To name another thing that's timber with leather on top, but you can't. Maybe one of those bucking bronco machines. Oh, that's glad he's done it.

He's done it. You've done it. You challenged us and then you did it. I bet you're thinking, Mitch. Yeah, good fucking luck naming anything else. Like a bucking bronco, God damn it. So the first operational submarine came in 1620 designed by a Dutchman with an incredible name. Cornelius Drebble.

Dreble. That's a great name. Cornelius Drebble. He sounds like a submariner. Yeah, you'd put a, you'd put a treble down there. Oh, yeah, yeah. He sounds like you got a long mustache too to me. Yes, yep.

You feel in that? in that. He built the submarine whilst working for the British Navy. It was also wooden and covered in leather. So there's a third thing. A different type of stuff. He built a few and the third and final model could carry 16 passengers and was propelled by six oars. Oh, wow. That'd be, yeah, okay, yep. It sounds stupid. Like, it sounds like so much work. If you, if it's paddled by oars and you've got to go underwater, that's going to be really hard to You know, the resistance is going to be really hard to move. Yeah.

For what purpose? Why do we have to go underwater? Like manpowered oars? Gotta be. Yeah, they're manpowered oars. Yeah, because the whole, like, the best part of rolling, I imagine. Is the bit where it's out of the water? Yeah, there you go, oh, my God.

No relief. You know, those old Viking ships? Yeah, they're going, you got, uh, uh, uh. But what would it sound like it was just er? Ugh, uh, uh, and then, like, if your plan is to sort of sneak up on the enemy, they can hear you coming because you're yelling like that the whole time. But underwater, you can see it.

So that submarine states emerge for three hours at a time and could travel from Westminster to Greenwich and back, cruising at a depth between 12 and 15 feet or 4 to 5 metres. So it's probably underwater. Yeah. When was this? This is in 1620. Wow.

Yeah, wow. That's surprising to me. And according to royal.gov.uk, so I trust this, Drebble even took King James I first in this submarine on a test dive beneath the Thames, making James the first monarch to travel underwater. Oh, shit. James Stewart. He did it.

Wow. Which made me do a deep dive, pun intended, on which monarchs have been on subs. I couldn't really find any others. I've seen a photo of Queen Elizabeth II using a periscope on a submarine that she was touring, but I don't know whether it was underwater at the time. So what are you looking at then? Just look out of window.

Why do you need a periscope? Honestly, it's too high at that point. You're above the water. Yeah, well, okay, you can see the horizon. Yeah. What were her mind is doing? You know, just letting it look a fool like that? Sounds like an idiot.

How many royals have eaten a sub? That's good. Oh, that's good. Did you look into that? Eating a hoagie. Yeah. Taking it down. Do you think the queen ever had Subway?

No. Do you think she's ever had McDonald's? Oh, yes, I do Mandy. Junior Burger at times. Man, it's so good to know that she's there still. Doing well. Always looking down on us from her little spot in the castle there. Her palace, she's got the periscope looking down on her subjects.

Yeah, she's got a like a reverse. Periscope. You can look at her? Oh, I see. Yeah. It's a mirror. Cornelius Drebble, the guy that made the sub, tried to get the Admiralty on board to use the subs for the purposes of war, but they were not interested. They saw it more as a king carrying device. Right.

And nothing else for war. So according to the good people at Britannica, the submarine that was first used as an offensive weapon in naval warfare occurred during the American Revolution between 1775. and 1783, The Turtle, a one mancraft invented by David Bushnell, who was a student at Yale, was built of wood in the shape of a walnut standing on end and was powered by cranks operated by the single occupant. What a weird name for it? The turtle, when it's designed based on a walnut. And if you look at it up, it looks like a, like, genuinely looks like a walnut. You stand up in it and sort of move your arms to power.

You call them walnuts. Is that right? I don't think so. No. Well nut. Walnut. Now I'm not going to be able to say it right ever again. How I'm over thinking you do, Jess.

Have a go for us. Walnut. Walnut. Walnut. Walnut. Yeah. Walnut. Oh my God.

What a beautiful nut it is. Beautiful. It's like a testicle. Yeah. Tessicle, little brain. Same same. Same thing. Same thing.

Well, I figured with one of them. My run. Yeah, my brain. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you'd stand up in it Yeah, and the plan was to have the turtle, as it's called, make an underwater approach to a British warship,

who were the enemy of the time, attach a charge of gunpowder to the ship's hull while a screw device operated from within the craft and leave before the charge was exploded by a time fuse. In the actual attack, however, the turtle was unable to force the screw through the copper sheathing of the warships hull. So they just sort of tried to drill and it just didn't work.

Oh. Okay. Silly. I was going to say, Jess, this must be making you think, maybe they're not so silly after all. It seems like they've been effective for a very long time. And the turtle invented David Bushnell also invented a floating mine that would detonate on contact.

So he's an ideas man, is David? But again, he did not have success with the mine. He attempted to use a floating mine to blow up the HMS Cerberus in Connecticut. However, the mine struck a small boat near Cerberus and it detonated killing four sailors and destroying the vessel. and destroying the vessel, but not the intended target. Wow. Oops.

So in 1778, he had another go. He launched what became known as the Battle of the Keggs. Oh. Kegs being a nickname given to the mine. He launched a series of mines floated down the Delaware River with the hope of taking out the British ships and get at the bottom. The ships were unharmed. The only casualties were two curious boys who were killed when they touched the mine,

which is obviously tragic. To make matters worse, the premature explosion alerted the British to the impending attack. So it really backfired. Great. So not a lot of luck for David Bushnell. David Bushnell and his... The walnut. The turtle.

It was pretty dark inside these old subs, and before electricity, they used candles to light their way inside, which is obviously fraught with danger in such an enclosed space. Farting. Yeah. It's about farting.

Yeah. Gas build up. Yeah. That makes sense. Well, if only they've been able to harness it, because the other big problem was how to propel them forwards. First, they were powered.

by cranks, pedals or oars, like I said. Not efficient. So tough. Then steam power was used from a coal-fired boiler, but the fire had to be extinguished before the crew submerged, otherwise they would suffocate. So the residual heat that are built up would propel them a few miles before they would literally run out of steam.

Right. So you'd have to plan when you were going really well, otherwise you'd be stranded in the middle of nowhere. Oh my God. They're so silly. Yeah. I'm starting to see Jess's point of you here. I'm sorry if you're a

submariner. I'm not saying they're bad, but they're just a bit silly. Yes, they are, but they tried new things. The French tried a compressed air engine, but again, the power was only fleeting. Finally, the electric motor came into play and made propulsion via a battery power possible.

The submarine, the Nautilus, built in 1886 by two Englishmen was an all-electric craft. I assume it was named after the Jules Verne submarine of the same name. It was propelled by two 50 horsepower electric motors operated from 100 cell storage battery and could reach a surface speed of 6 knots or 11K an hour. So that's sort of just put me, you laughing at that speed.

Yeah. You're like, I could out run this sub. 11Ks and out. I could. All you'd have to do is float to the bottom of the ocean and just start running. I could, like, over 100 metres. I could run it, you know. I couldn't run for an hour.

Well, the battery had to be constantly recharged and that was a problem. But the furthest it could go on one charge was 80 miles. That's pretty good. Yeah. What's that in K's? 120-something? Yeah, okay. Pretty good.

I've got a bike that can do probably like 80Ks on a charge. I've got a bike that can do as long as it wants. That's better actually. Mine's definitely more fun up a hill, but it does require a battery. Right. But yours, you're telling me you never have to recharge your bike. I don't have to recharge the bike. I guess I've got to recharge the me.

Yeah, you're the power then. How often are you recharging you? I'm normally recharging once a day. Oh, that's the same of those jazz batteries. I guess if we, yeah, I guess so. If we didn't have planes and you were explaining the idea of a plane to me, I'd go, that's just silly. You sit there and what, they bring your drinks and stuff, this is ridiculous, you know.

So, yeah, I'm going to lay off the submarines. I think planes are just like, they're submarines of the air. Yeah. They're very similar. It's just a tube. Yeah. Which is sort of what a submarine is. And I don't fully understand how they work.

No. I don't understand how submarines go. go underwater. I don't understand how planes go up in the sky. Yeah. And stay up there. Right. I don't get it. Do you understand how like cars drive? No. Okay.

Sorry, can we just break this down as. Do you understand anything? Oh, I can't think of anything that I understand. So I guess not. It's a nice way to live, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Like these microphones, do you know how they work? God, no. Isn't that wild?

It makes no sense. It's somehow capturing our sounds. And we sound so good. And this little thing, it stops me for going to. going, pop, pop, pop, all the time, you know? I couldn't even hear that. That's crazy. Can't hear that, whatever.

What can't hear it? What can't hear it? What can't we hear? Exactly. Right. You know, when you think about it, I don't understand anything either. You understand more than most, I think. Do not about that.

You're pretty smart. Or you can at least appear smart. Yeah, yeah, there's a difference. Yeah. That's just because he wears glasses. Oh, I've got some of my bag. Should I put him on? I've got to.

I think you'll be on help, man. I reckon it would really up your smart look. Yes. Anyway Finally, Diesel-powered electric propulsion became the dominant power system And instruments such as the periscope

Would become standardised Yes How else are you going to look around? I think they I actually don't know They're just feeling around down there Surely they didn't have heaps of windows down there No

What I would have done is had like a dome Like a glass dome on the top So you could stick your head out And so I agree I agree What about you just put like a big like snorkel on the front of the sub.

Yep, yep. And then you just have a look. Oh yeah. So just like goggles. Goggles, sorry, yeah, the mask bit. Why not just a window? Yeah. Why does it have to be goggles?

Why not make it all? Forget leather. What about glass? Yes. So make it all glass. Yeah. So people can see the wood from the outside. Yeah.

And then you can see the wood from the inside. So everyone can see the wood. Yeah. That's quality. That's the worst part about the design is that there are times where people can't see the wood. Yeah. They can only see the leather.

That's sad. That's sad. You actually bummed me out there. So at the turn of the 20th century, a lot of European powers started building what we would recognize today as modern-day submarines. And by the eve of World War I, all of the major navies included subs in their fleets. Then in the 1950s, nuclear-powered subs began being developed

and were a huge leap forward. Since the nuclear reactor needed no oxygen at all, a single power plant could now suffice for both the surface and surface. submerged operation. And since a very small quantity of nuclear fuel provided power over a very long period, and nuclear sub could operate completely submerged at high speed indefinitely. This meant that unlike diesel-powered subs, they had to sneak up on enemies and conserve their limited power for sneaking away to avoid counter attacks.

Nuclear subs can power on all and party all day and all night. Whoa. Never stop rocking. They're just like, boom! Here I am. Bam! And I go see it. See you later.

See you later. Whatever. You got you. You're dead. Put their sonny's on. How way to the danger zone. So on the other side of the cassette? Yeah.

I've got two songs. We have to do a lot of talk back. What kind of topics are you throwing out there? What are the best snacks in the canteen? Mm-hmm. Who have you got a crush on? Who have you got a crush on? Call in now.

That fart last Thursday. Who do we reckon that was? We all know the one. That fart. Stop the whole place. Yeah. You know? Who does the best whale sounds?

Call in for your chance to win. You know, stuff like that. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I'm a professional. I've done it a long time. Yeah. You're very good. Yeah, thank you.

Size-wise, it all peaked in the 1970s with the Russian typhoon-class submarines, the biggest ever built. Nuclear power, there were almost 600. feet or 175 meters long. I'm able to accommodate comfortable living facilities for the crew of 160 submerged for several months. Is it like multi-story inside? I don't know. Yeah, I think so.

That's pretty cool. It's like a luxury cruise liner. Yeah. Only it's under to sea. Do you want a submarine to be big? You know what I mean? Yeah. Should they be small and stealthy?

What are they for? What's the point of them? Stealth, I imagine, because you can't see them. taking that enemy ships. So do you want it to be huge? I'm glad they're comfortable. Yeah, everyone's got their own onsuit. Yeah, that's nice.

It's like, it's the first one you get a real advantage on your enemies. But then they all get them. Yeah. And it's like, oh, now what, we're fighting underwater? And they all got fucking sonar or radar, whatever. Can we just all agree to not do this anymore? Come on, guys. You know, like, who can be bothered?

Yeah, just let's make new rules above the surface. Yep. Or go deeper into the earth's corner. core. Okay. Well, the first country going on the Earth's core, they'll have a real advantage there. Some sort of Earth submarines, you know, that can travel sort of like Bugs Money. Yep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll have an advantage until, and then everyone else will be doing it. Exactly. It's the same thing. Like, the world just going to, like, fall in on itself because of all the holes in there. You know, what have we really achieved? What have we done? In so many ways, war is pointless.

Oh, wow. Matt, that is an interesting point. I think we should stop them. Okay. If you're out there right now, I'm not going to name names, but if you're out there right now, doing war, stop it. Cut it out. That's what we think, Dave.

You're obviously very pro-war. Oh, yeah. I mean, the whole industrial complex is good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, we do have... Keeps economies going. Yeah, the economy's addicted to it. It's sustainable, for sure.

Sorry if I went quiet there, that wasn't me agreeing with war. It was me looking up if they are multi-story and they are. Cool. They even have some of them. A pool. A small swimming pool. Get fucked. Someone's asked, why do Typhoon class submarines have swimming pools inside?

Isn't that a waste of space that could be used to store more food? And someone wrote back, they're not exactly swimming pools as you can't really swim. It's just a pool where you can dip off after sweating it out in the sauna. It's a plunge pool. It's a plunge pool. But still, that's pretty cool. And they have a sauna. Yeah.

That'd be great. because you'd want to be the first in, though, wouldn't you? Because otherwise you're dipping in everyone else's sweat. Exactly. And then you're just coming out more sweaty. Yeah. And you're like, hang on a second. I don't even, this doesn't even smell like my B.O.

No. This smells like, Kevin's. Oh, Kevin's B.O. I reckon he did the fart as well. Yeah. He's awful. I'm going to call into the radio station. And Kevin's like, no, don't.

Don't. My mum listens to that. My mom's also on the sub. Don't. Seating out of his every pore. Disgusting, Kevin. That's because, yeah, we all know. When Kevin called in said,

But my favorite snack is beans. Yeah, we fucking know, Kevin. We knew that, Kevin. And stop cooking fish in the microwave. Disgusting, Kevin. It's a shared space. Your smell lingers. Coming up, the secret sound.

It's probably Kevin farting. So I did find another tape, and it's linger. So it does feel appropriate. Did you have to? Did it have to? Did you have to? I did linger. Dedicated to Kevin again.

So being in a sub is pretty isolating, particularly if you're on board and away from family for weeks, if not many months at a time. The United States Navy employs a way to communicate to loved ones, and that is via a one-way message system called Family Graham. That's nice. That's nice. Couldn't believe I really. No, that's beautiful. I don't know why you're laughing at that. That's gorgeous.

We need to give it a catchy title. Why do we need to give it a title at all? We got to. It's got to be snapping. It's all marketing. They got a PR firm in, spent $3 million. Came up with family. Family Graham.

I just went with the Admiral's choice anyway. Should have got Fam Graham. Fam Graham. That would have been better. That's good. That's better. Sorry. Where does, because it's playing on Instagram, right?

But what's the gram from that? Instant gram? It's from Telegram. Telegram, thank you. And Telegram was it pre- Instagram. Right. Why is Instagram photos? You know what I mean?

Because it's instant. Yeah. Grammification. Oh, okay. Now we go. Do you get it? Yeah. So, and that inspired, when, when is this happening?

I didn't know Instagram was that old. When did this happen? This has been happening for decades. Yeah, right. So Instagram probably started as, is it one of those things like Netflix was originally a DVD coming out streaming? It's like Instagram was initially a submarine messaging system for family. Oh, wow.

It's really changed. I've expanded it. Good for them. Yeah. Back in the day, you wouldn't. You would just send a message. You describe a photo. All right, this one's at Christmas.

Yeah. This one's a Christmas. It's a dog in front of a Christmas tree. He's wearing a bow tie. Oh, that's good. Yeah. And you'd like that or not. And I do like it.

And how would you like it or not? Because that is a... You're right back, like. I wrote. It's one way. It's one way. It is one way. So because submarines normally maintain radio silence to avoid detection,

personal messages from the quote-unquote outside world are severely restricted. Family Graham. were originally limited to just 15 words. Man, I saw it was Twitter. Yeah. It's more Twitter than Instagram. Which was submitted to the Navy by family members who then had to, the Navy then approved the text. So they read it through, made sure there's no.

Dad good, mom good, grandma, not so good. Send money. That's 10. That's fine. You can save a lot in there. And I'm telling you, grandma's not doing so good. No. We need that money.

Apparently, so they read it all and there's stuff you can't send messages with bad news like Grandma is sick. What? I didn't say Grandma's sick. I said she's not so good. But like they read it through and make sure you can't have like news of people passing or things like that because obviously there's no nuance in the 15 words, but also the person on board, they're away for several more months and they might take the news very badly being so isolated

and trapped. Yeah, better for everyone to think anyone. one I know could be dead now. Just none stop going, as far as I know, everyone's dead. Yeah. Or the message just says, the following people are not dead. And each week, it just changes. It's a new nine people.

Yeah. Oh, thank God. Cross them off the list. Yeah, it's just Schrodinger's dead family, isn't it? They're both dead and alive all the once. Dead fam. Yeah. Dead fam graeme.

So the text was then radioed to the sub and passed on to the intended recipient. Currently, the Royal Navy permits twice weekly messages of 60 words, or weekly messages of 120 words if you want a longer one to submariners serving in Trident submarines. Wow. So, yeah, you can... 120 words. But yeah, the person on board can't reply.

Yeah. So it is very much one way. How are you? Oh, what a waste of words. I can't even hear your response. Oh, my gosh. How do I make this stop? Where's the backspace?

Oh, shit. Sorry. I'll try to get next week. Oh, no, I'm burning the eggs. Hang on a second. Wait, yeah. Oh, that ruined. Oh, what are we going to do?

Oh, that's all my words. See you later. Yeah, beautiful. Another great fam, Graham from mum. Yeah, so what would you be saying to them? Like, just tell you about your gripes at work. You'll never guess what Susan did. You'll never guess what Susan wore.

Because you don't have, like... Do that count as bad news? It was that. It was awful. It was hideous. They redacted Susan's name, so you didn't get too upset. You never believed what blank wore. Who wore what?

You know, a partner or spouse sort of venting about work and talking about this person they don't like at work? And you sort of, you sit there like, yeah, wow. Someone you'll never meet. Yeah, you don't actually care, but you sort of, you do get a bit invested. It would just be a great chance to just be venting about Susan. Oh, she did it again. Love it.

Yeah. We started watching this new great show on Stan. This is the plot line. Takes up the hormones. I'm going to, I'll do it weekly. I'll give you weekly recaps of each episode. I need more words. 60 words a week, finding out what happened on the Sopranos.

It's just spoilers. They're there on the ship like, I really wanted to watch that eventually. I know I hadn't got around to it, but I was going to watch it. Now you've spoiled the Sopranos. They don't have a cinema room. They've got a plunge pool.

They've got a plunge pool, yeah. You got to watch something right around. Yeah, I imagine. Fast Wi-Fi. They'd be much closer the internet cables on the bottom of the ocean than anyone else. They're right there. They can just plug in. I think it.

So Graham comes from grammar, the Greek word, meaning something written. So that's what. And Telegram comes from that. Telegram comes from that. And Instagram does come from Telegram, which, so it doesn't really make any sense. It's like instant something written, but it's a photo. So the Greeks are rolling around in their graves. Yeah, they're furious.

They're fuming. Sorry, So they should be. Yeah. So finally, before we get to the main story today, I just found this interesting. Even when away during the Second World War, According to the National Museum of American History, wives and husbands found occasions to celebrate when the submarine was away. Halfway night was celebrated simultaneously, or at least as close to the same time as guest work would allow, aboard the subs, and among wives at home at the midpoint between departure and the return of the submarine.

So you'd have a little party, have a couple of drinks, knowing that they're also having a couple of drinks, and it would be a way to feel like you're both celebrating together. That's interesting. As long as you'd want to really believe it, I'd be. like, are they really... Are they really doing it? Are they really doing it? As you're cheesing the person you're having an affair with.

Yeah. Another six months of this, babe, this is good stuff. And when the submarines returned from war, it was often a pretty joyous homecoming as they were reunited with loved ones. Again, from the National Museum, the submarines return often included fundraising activities such as raffling off a first kiss,

which I was like, okay. Okay. The winner went to the head of the waiting line. would be the first to kiss her husband on return. It's not like you get to kiss the captain or something. What I thought it was. Or there was one guy on the boat who'd never been kissed and you get to be his first kiss.

But it's just that you get to kiss your husband first. Who cares? Yeah, what is that? Yeah. And everyone else is like... I want to kiss before everybody else is kissed. And you're like, no, wait, wait, I haven't kissed him yet. Wait.

That's psychotic. Little kiss. Yeah. And then you're like, you're purposefully just kind of hovering in front of you. just to build tension for everybody else who's just desperate to kiss their husband. We haven't kissed yet. We haven't kissed. You can't kiss till we kiss.

And guess what? We're going home. No kissing. No kissing. We don't even like to kiss. I'll know if you kiss. We'll know. I'm watching.

I've got lip herpes now. I'll tell you about it later, Kevin. No one's desperate to kiss Kevin. Mrs. Kevin, she's not worried about it at all. Oh my God. By the time he got back, she'd just scrubbed the smell out of the house. He's back. Smelly Kay.

Fucking Kevin. Kevin, ugh. One of the rooms we had to knock down. I can't believe you spent six months underwater and you smell worse than when you left. Unbelievable, Kevin. That's like having a cat who's marked their territory here. We just can't scrub it out. Come on.

I've got to hose you down before I let you in the house. house. As we do every night, Kevin. You know the routine. Oh, Kevin. Kevin. He's a character, isn't he?

Yeah, he's a real piece of shit. So those are the submarines that are used in the military, as well as submarinesions that are underwater craft known as submersibles. Did you know the difference? What is the difference? Say it again? So submersibles are underwater vehicles that need to be transported and supplied by a larger watercraft or a platform

to replenish power and oxygen. Okay, yeah. Submarines, on the other hand, are self-supporting and capable of prolonged independent operation at sea. Submersibles. What's the? Submarines and submersibles, is that right?

Yeah. It's just like a little pot on a ship that you can go in and go, wee, but then you have to go back to the ship. Yeah, because it's like submerge. Is that what it means? Submersible? Like, submergeable?

It's like, we can plunge it. Look, there we go, we submerge it for a bit. But now it's popped back up. You know, like you get a tennis ball and a pool. You put it under, and it goes, whoop. Yeah. It's kind of like that? Uh, yes.

So you're submerge, they're submergibles. Submergibles or submersibles, because they've been submerged in water. What's the difference between submers and submerge? Poor. I wonder if anyone was asked that on the internet before. I feel like we have a weird energy today. I know, I'm feeling weird. Matt is feeling curious?

Oh, you've read my status. It actually is like, Cora, what is the difference between submerge and submers? Here's the top answer. Submerge and submers are often used interchangeably, but submerge is the more commonly used an accepted form. Both words mean to put something under water or another liquid, but submerge is a transitive verb, which means that it requires an object to complete its meaning. Submerse is an intransitive verb, which means that it does not require an object to complete

its meaning. Any further questions? Uh, no. I think that sums it up pretty nicely. Let's put a bloody end to this curiosity you've got today, mate. Yeah, stop asking questions on this podcast where we learn. How do you? So, but basically, they are usually smaller.

Yeah. Like you're saying, just, they zip around, but they've got to go back up to a ship or a platform to repower or get oxygen. They're like the ocean's version of a barina or a Suzuki Swiss. Sure. Yeah. A zippy little number, we get you from A to B. Yeah, but you have to fuel it up every now and then. Yeah.

like, say for example, a Mazda CX3, which can just go and go and go and go and go. It will never stop. Yeah, perpetual motion machines. That's right. Powered by a nuclear reactor. Yeah. So a few of the examples I mentioned earlier would today, in fact, be classed as submersibles. And submersibles can be remotely operated or others are crude.

So some of them are being controlled from the platform. And other times, they send people down in them. Like that little thing they send down to look at the Titanic. That is a submersible. See? I listen. Oh. Wait, the one that James Cameron was in, or the one that didn't go so well.

They're both submersibles. Oh my God. And they have achieved some amazing things, as submersibles are able to dive much deeper than larger submarines. In 1960, the Trieste became the first crude vessel to reach the bottom of the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench, the deepest point in Earth's seabed. Whoa! The vessel was piloted by legendary Swiss oceanographer Jacques Picard, and US Sea. Navy Lieutenant Don Walsh. They reached the depth of approximately 10,916 meters.

Wouldn't that make your head feel funny? Or 35,814 feet. Wow. Can't get mad around that. No. It's wild. It's so deep. So that's 1960.

That were the last people to descend to Challenger Deep until 2012 when one man went solo and Matt has just named that man, Terminator, Titanic Avatar Creator, James Cameron. Is that who you're talking about today? No. No. No, no, that's not the main. No, we'll not mention him again.

You made that tell you. And Matt has. You felt like you're building it up to me. No, but I actually was going to say any guesses on who the next person was. Because I thought it was amazing that it's like, you know, fame. Yeah. The first guy to do it in over 50 years is James Cameron. Yeah, that is.

Wow. Yeah. I'm sure I've heard of Jacques Picard as well. Is he, is he who the Star Trek guy is named after? Luke Picard, probably. You are. curious today. Good status update.

Feeling curious. It's funny that you say, is that who we're talking about today? Because my next sentence was, but the submersible I mainly want to talk about today is the Pisces three. We obviously have it. That's the fish sign. Yes. And you're not here to fuck fish.

No, certainly not. It's true. Pisces class submersibles are three-person research. deep submergence vehicles designed and built by HICO International Hydrodynamics of North Vancouver. That's in Canada. Yeah. Yes. They have a maximum operating depth of 2,000 metres of 6,000,000 feet.

The Parsis, so I'm going to talk about today, measured 20 feet or 6 metres long by 7 feet or 2 meters wide by 11 feet 3 meters high. So it's not very big, and for the occupants of the Pisces, you find yourself inside a 6-foot diameter steel ball. And you lie down and look out two tiny windows at the front of the craft. So it's very cramped, very small. And you're lying down. Yep. Okay. How long would people be in there for?

Usually for what one shift of these people are going to do is about an eight-hour shift. Wow. Lying down for eight hours. That's crazy. Yeah, I don't do that ever. On Wednesday, the 29th of August, 1973, just a few days after Jess's birthday, at 1.15 a.m. It's the day after yours.

Yeah, but you were thinking about your birth. That was. At about 1.15 a.m., two British men, both named Roger. Very confusing for the radio. Morning, Roger. Roger. Roger. Roger that, Roger. They found themselves inside the Parsi's three.

The two men were 28-year-old former Royal Navy Submariner, Roger Chapman, who sadly had been invalidated out of the Royal Navy due to becoming short-sighted. Ah. I'm not longer to be in the Navy. He was the pilot. His crewmate was 35-year-old engineer Roger Melanson, who was the senior pilot on board.

Both very experienced guys, Roger and Roger. The two men were off the coast of Ireland, 150 miles southwest of Cork, working for the post office, laying transatlantic telephone cables on the seabed. It took the men 40 minutes to sink down or descend about 500 meters or 16,500. feet and it was about the same time to get back up.

It's quite a commute. It's quite the commute. Yeah. It's not bad. I mean, other people have worse commutes, but it's not a great commute. Yeah. That's why you're on the radio, Jess, keeping them company. Yeah.

Yeah, they had a third person on board who was the on-air announcer. What was their name? Roger. He's got a different tape. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's pretty good tape. They should just listen to our podcast. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Had they thought of that? Yeah. Can you send this over to them? The Submarinets. Are they able to listen to the podcast? Our podcast on the submarine? Let us know if you listen to this on a submarine run now.

Hopefully this story doesn't freak you out. Okay. Uh-oh. Back to the story. I'm sure people don't. Like, submariners aren't easily freaked out. You know what I mean? You'd hope not.

Let's find out. I think they've heard the stories. Yeah, for sure. You're right. Yeah. This is nothing. This is nothing. So they'd work for eight-hour shifts,

traveling slowly across the seabed at half a mile per hour, setting up pumps and jets, which liquefied the mud, then they'd lay the cable and make sure it was covered up. It does sound like they're taking shit. Very slow work. That's what Kevin would be doing. Constant.

Constantly. He's like, oh, you need me to lay some cable. Can do. Not like that, Kevin. He honestly needs to get checked. He's a medical marvel. Who hired him? His dad runs a place to live.

Yeah, definitely, yeah. Admiral Daddy. Fucking hell, Kevin. There's very slow work on the bottom and it required a lot of concentration that there's tiny windows in murking conditions it's been described as like driving down the motorway in thick fog and trying to follow a white line in the middle

and it was uncomfortable too it was so cramped that have to kneel or lie sometimes with their heads by their knees that's how close they'd have to sort of look out these windows one pilot would have the controls for the sub in one hand and then the other that have the manipulator which is a mechanical hand which would lift, twist, extend and move sideways.

Then they'd swap, so you'd do it for a bit. Wow. On and off. That sounds awful, to be perfectly honest with you. It's a really tough gig. Yeah. And a previous dive had damaged the manipulator, so senior pilot, Roger Mallison,

had stayed up the previous night fixing it. The engineer knew the machine inside out as he'd rebuilt it when it was shipped over from Canada, but because of these repairs, he'd pulled an all-nighter, and by 1.15 a.m., he'd been awake for 26 hours. And he was going down for an... eight-hour shift of pure concentration.

No. That doesn't sound like that's a recipe for success. It doesn't sound safe, does it? No. Surely, just take the day off, Roger. Can they not do that? Get the third Roger, DJ Roger. Yeah, he could sub him, sub-in.

Sub-in? Got one of those two words, right? He could sub-im. He could. Let him sub-im. He could sub-in. Let him sub-im. Well, yeah, that's what I wasn't meant.

Sub-im. He could sub-in. He could sub-bub. in and sub him. Yeah, sub him. Who? Roger. I'll subim.

Yeah. I'll subim for Roger. For Roger? Yeah. I'll sub him. Yeah. There it is. Yeah.

Makes sense. Makes sense. Weird energy. Yeah. Feels like we're underwater in a submarine. Oh my gosh. That's why I feel it a bit silly. Yeah.

I reckon there's a podcast studio if they've got a pool. Yeah. How hard would it be? Just put a studio in. Isn't it? That's how submersive Dave's storytelling is. that it feels like we're under the water right now. I wonder how big this room is.

I wonder if this is the size of a Pisces. Oh, this is, I think the whole thing, but the bit therein's much smaller. I think they're like in the size of the little table we've got you. No, that sucks. Absolutely not. It's very close. Engineer Melanson had also decided in his repairs

to swap over the oxygen tank. I subbed it. He subbed in a new oxygen take. And it's unclear as to why he decided to do this as the half full tank was more than enough for their shift. But he swapped it over, despite it being very heavy and the fact he could get in trouble for swapping it unnecessarily. But he swapped it, and that is important.

Okay. So on a previously on, that would be... Yeah, you'd see him screwing it in, going, oh, this fucking thing. Yeah, and you'd see somebody else say, it has half a tank, that should be plenty. And he says, no, I'm going to swap the tag. And you go, oh, okay. Exactly.

This is telling me everything I need. need to know. The Pisces 3 was fitted with a life support system which consisted of a lithium hydroxide fan to soak up the carbon dioxide they breathed out and then fed in a small quantity of oxygen. They turned this on every 40 minutes to scrub the air. Now, the way most submarines and submersibles work, Jess, now you know, now you will know, is they have ballast tanks that control its buoyancy.

Ah, yes. These tanks can be, I've got a definition for you here. Look at it about like, the fucking later. Ballast tanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, do you think I'm going to explain it? Jesus fucking Christ. Of course, yeah, because you've done a podcast with me for nine years.

Do you need to? I think we got it. Okay, we'll move on. Sorry. People don't like being patronized. Especially you just. I hate to be passionate artists. Ballast is like ballistic missiles.

That's all related stuff. Yeah, we get it. A tank full of missiles. Yeah, ballist. Roger that. People say, how do sufferings work? Tank full of missiles. Do I need to say anymore?

We get it. We get it. They've gone ballistic. We got it. Easy. Easy peasy. No, ballast tanks for people, unlike you two, who don't necessarily know that, they can be filled with water or filled with air.

Oregon State University, people are much smarter than me, describe how they work. When the submarine is on the surface, the ballast tanks are filled with air. This makes the submarine's density less than the density of the water. When the submarine dives, water is pumped into the ballast tanks to replace the air. This makes the density of the submarine greater than the density of the water, and they sink. tanks of compressed air are kept on the submarine and when the crew need to go back to the surface they pump air into the ballast tanks to force out the water

and then it flows to the top. That's kind of how it works. I got to tell you, I drifted off a bit there. Yeah, I still don't get it. If the tank's got water in it, you'll sink. Yes. But if you pump air into it, you'll start floating again. And the more air you've got in there, the more you'll float.

So if you want to go up to the air, you go to the surface, you pump it full of air. Okay, and now that helps. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like a tennis ball. Yeah, you can hold it down, but once you let it go, it goes, it's full of air, yeah. Yeah.

But if it was full of water, that thing would sink to the bottom like. Yeah. Like a tennis ball full of water. Exactly. You get it. Yeah. The waterlog ball. Thank you for showing you.

And no one wants to kick around anymore. That's a... Is that another Stewart family saying? It's a UMI lyric. I'm like a waterlog ball that no one wants to kick around anymore. God, he's done it again. Almost rhymed. Tim Rogers.

Rogers. The fourth Roger was Tim. Whoa. Tim does a lot of radio. He does. Oh my God. We've cracked this wide open. So at 918 a.m., Roger and Roger had finished their shift

and were back on the surface. They're gone all the way back up, waiting for the tow ropes from the larger ship to be attached to them. Basically, they're going to be reeled back in to the mothership. It's already been a long night of work. They're almost free. been up for 34 hours at this point. That's insane.

Time for bed. You're thinking we're home free. I hope he's got tomorrow off. You know? Surely it's one full day and then one day off. Surely. That's how we work. And you can hear how well that works.

Exactly. One full day of recording. Yes. Six full days off. That's right. It's the perfect system. It's the only way. And that way we start fresh.

Take six days to replenish our tanks. Exactly. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, that's the system. That's how it works. That's how it works.

And we come back in, and there's never a weird energy. We're always ready to get me. We're always rearing. Occasionally, you know, we'll get someone to sub him. But now that Dave has been found alive and fine, we don't really have to do that so much anymore. No more. Sub him in. Should we start again?

Let's go get coffee. Let's start again. I think it sure we'll go, we've wasted an hour, but I think it'll be for the best. I think you're not a waste. I think we got it out of a system. Yeah, exactly. You just got to say the word sometimes. I've got a good night's sleep.

I've had breakfast, had a cup of tea. I think maybe that's the problem. Never eat again, never sleep again. Yeah. You're an idiot. I think you're best with an empty tank. Right. And I did get in there an hour and a half earlier.

So that was probably a mistake. And I've been online to a tech troubleshooting. Maybe that's what they drain my energy Drain my tank Yeah I have no excuse So they're on the surface They're about to get a bit in their mind I imagine I'm checking out

What are you going to do back up there? 100% yeah Have a shower, have a sleep fantastic I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat When you say on the surface They're just sort of floating in the middle of the ocean Floating on the top They're blob and they're being attached to the bigger ship

With a rope and they're going to be reeled back in So they can climb up a ladder and go to bed Right There's lots of banging of ropes and shackles Which was to be expected during the last phase of the recovery when suddenly. Oh, no. The Rogers were hurtled backwards and sank rapidly.

What? Oh, my God. Poseidon. Oh. Poseidon has them. Is that the ocean god? Yeah. He's sort of like the fake version of King Trident.

Yeah. Poseidon's based on King Triton for a little moment. They found their craft dangling upside down in the water. The aft sphere, A-FD, the Aft sphere, which is a smaller, usually water-type, sphere where the machinery was located had flooded when the hatch was accidentally pulled off by one of the ropes. Oh, no. In a matter of moments, the sub was over a ton heavier, like when the ballast tanks on a

submarine are full, and suddenly they found themselves rapidly sinking. Shit. Until they were suddenly stopped by the toe rope that was still attached, so like a bungee cord, they were just yanked back, and they're sort of dangling in the water inside the sub. So one rope got on. Yeah, but the other accidentally opened the bit that's not meant to. open in the water. Shit.

The Pisces was dangling and spinning around in the current. The motors were screaming, the pressure gauges spinning around. It was total mayhem on board and only got worse when the rope snapped. No. So that would be unpleasant, I imagine. Extremely, yeah. And very, you know, you'd be freaking out on that. Yeah, you'd be, I'd say discombobulated.

Do you reckon? I think so. Don't fucking overreact, mate. You're over there fucking discombated. combulating. All right, mate. And I'm just going, gee whiz, bloody hell. That's a bit full on, isn't it?

But I'm cool and calm. Yeah, that's true. I'm trying to put myself in Roger's shoes. Which one? You tell me. Roger 1, Roger 2? Or Tim. Roger 4.

Obviously, Roger 3 is just Bob Rogers. That's right. Bob Rogers. With AJ. Bob Rogers's good rules. That is a good. Bob Rogers. Performing.

That rules! Yeah, that's why. It's way better than Roger Perkins. Oh, yeah. Which is also fine. No, it's not. Roger Perkins sucks. But once you hear Bob Rogers.

Bob Rogers. Holy shit. He's like a cowboy singing star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's an icon. Yeah, Bob Rogers. Bob Rogers. Whoa.

That's cool. You can see him mosey in the town. Yeah. Playing a little tune on the old six string. I say he or she. That's awesome. Because it's you. Yeah.

But I can be whatever. I want to be. That's the thing. Well, I'm not saying you can't. Yeah, no, we're agreeing. I can't control my tone. Okay, so they're now, the rope is broken. Well, one of them's discombobulated over there. The other one's like, Jesus Christ.

They started sinking again all the way to the bottom in total free fall. The men shut down the electrical systems and switched everything off so it was pitch black as they sunk. They managed to drop a 400 pound. or 181 kilo lead weight to make the Pisces lighter during their descent. So, you know, dull the impact a bit. The Rogers had only 30 seconds before they hit the ocean floor. Remember, a controlled descent takes 40 minutes. Wow.

And that's only 30 seconds. They are flying. Flying through the water. So it's in the full of water state. Is that right? Yes, exactly. Because there's so much water in the back bit that the water's not meant to be. They're really heavy.

Right. So they're just sinking. Really quick. Like a stone straight to the bottom. Wow. And usually, you know, got the engine, you sort of slowly get down there, get to the bottom. And like when you've taken on water on a ship, you're scooping it out. But you can't do that under the water.

Can't do anything. No, you can't. Everything's water. They can't release a valve. So in that time, they've only got 30 seconds to brace for impact. They grab some cushions and just sort of hopes for the best. Oh, good they've got cushions. That's great.

Oh, yeah, they probably went to the cushion room. It's all bean bags and cushions. It's so nice in there. It's lovely. It's just a chill-out zone. Quick, grab some cushions. Do you want a yellow one? It's pitch blank.

Should I turn on the lava lamp? Just get back here, Roger. I can't tell. I'm trying to find your favourite, and I can't tell which one it is. Oh, I don't want to use your one. I don't want to use Kevin's. One's discompobulated and one is too calm. Now, let me see which cushion would I like.

Should I just put the kettle on? Yeah. Do you have a cupper? I always think better after a cup. Whenever in the cushion room, you know I have to have a couple. You know what I'm like. And the idea that he's grab me a cushion rather than just diving into the cushion room? There are already cushions in here.

I'll just grab a couple. Does it overkill? Yes, do whatever you need. Just get in. Get in the cushion room. Yeah, you know, you have to walk through the shard room to get in. You know what to be in there when it all goes down? Well, look at that shard.

I don't know. Why do we have a shard room? It seemed to make sense before. It seems ridiculous. 30 seconds. They hit the bottom at about 40 miles or 65 kilometres an hour. Shit. Are they buckled in?

Or is it? Because, yeah, that's... I actually don't know if they, because the way they usually sit, I don't know if you can be... Right. And would that be, yeah. If you can be seat belted in. 65Ks an hour hitting the bottom.

Yeah, no, that's not going to be good. That's bad. Thankfully, they were both uninjured. What? Is it because, like, sand? it'd be, and like maybe it can soften, I don't know, I should say I'm not a scientist. Oh, okay, that turns everything. But if it's like, you know, like not hard packed sand, maybe it would.

And I know it made me because the craft is so strong because it has to be very thick metal to not be crushed by the water. Like if you drove around in a car and, you know, every side was 10 centimetres thick. Yeah. Obviously, you'd still get a bit of whiplash and stuff. Your car wouldn't crumple, it would probably just be long. stronger. Yeah.

But if you're not buckled in, you'd be getting injured. Yeah. But that's where the pillows come in here. Oh, they're in the pillow room. Yeah. So Roger 1 got into the pillow room. Just in time. Thank God.

Luckily, Roger 2 was discombobulated enough to hurry him up. Yeah. See, sometimes you need a panicker. Yeah, you need someone. Sometimes panicking helps. Yeah. Sometimes you just need a bit of high stress. Yeah.

So they both aren't injured. There was stuff thrown everywhere throughout the craft, pillows and shards The craft itself was almost upside down And they had to grab onto pipes To physically move around To sort of yank themselves off the floor The power was still off

All they had for light was a torch They went through and made sure there were no leaks throughout And they were able to make contact with the ship above Via a telephone radio And let them know that they were okay Shit, how are they going to find them? Magnets Oh

That's my guess A little fishing magnet game Yeah. Are the Rogers magnetic? Yeah. The chemistry is magnetic down there. One's a panica, one's not. Like, there's the straight man.

It's going to be classic enemies to lovers. Yeah. You know? We're so different. But, oh, wait, it turns out we actually have a few things in common. And then when magnets, you know, you got, I'm picturing you shape magnets. So the Rogers are to you. But then they have to switch, right.

So they're basically 69 each other. Yeah. So I guess that's what the Rogers will be doing before doing, I'm rogering each other. Oh, my God. Oh my God. Is that where it comes from? Is that where it comes from? Yeah, this is it. Oh, my God. We found the sauce. The source of the rogering.

Oh, the rodering sauce. That comes later. Oh. Just didn't like that bit. I didn't get it. I'm talking about cum. I would have thought rogering sauce would be lewd. Oh, that's your pre-cum. A self-sourcing roger. Oh, God. Fortunately, Roger Melanson, remember,

had added the full oxygen tank on board that already used eight hours worth, leaving about 66 hours or until early Saturday morning. If he hadn't made that switch, which he really had no reason to do, they'd be looking at less than 30 hours. Oh, I thought it was going to... I'm so glad.

I thought it was going to come in because he was like he somehow sabotaged or, like, it turned out he was Russian. Yeah, I was... You know, like an evil Russian man I'm not saying all Russian people are bad But who, wait, who's this guy for? Which teams he on?

The post office. He's laying cable for the post office. Okay. This has all been some... Yeah, I forget what he was... Wait, he wasn't laying military cable? So the Russian post office. Yeah.

American post office? I think the British post office. British post office. So probably the French then. Not a Russian, it's a French. It's a French. It's a Frenchman. I was hoping by saying that this is important that you might think, oh, what's that mean?

It's important for surviving underneath the water for a longer time. Awesome. But I bet they don't have a kitchen down there. Probably get a bit hungry. We fell right into Dave's web there. But remember this, Dave. We're not here to fuck spiders. So the two men were very experienced and they knew how to eke out as much oxygen as possible.

Like you're saying, the submarine listings. and freaking out, because they know what to do. These guys, they know what to do. So they decided to stop moving and sit perfectly still, not even speaking to conserve precious oxygen. And they sat as high as possible with the heavy, quote unquote, foul air falling to the bottom.

Kevin Air. Kevin Air. I'll never fly Kevin Air again. It was very cheap for a reason. They just served boiled eggs. It was awful. The lunch service kept coming out We've had enough

We've had enough eggs Stop But Kevin kept He was serving as well Flying, he did everything And he kept saying The eggs are better in the air And he kept saying

If you won't have your egg Can I have yours? Can I have yours? Are you finished with that? You done with that? You're done with that? I've never seen a steward do that He's flying the plane, Kevin.

Kevin, yeah. It was very cheap flights. It was cheap for a reason. It fucking reeked up it. It was awful. It was pure foul air. Top to bottom. It was just fell.

Oh, it hurt. So then I'm bored. Sitting in the dark in silence. to conserve oxygen. Are we using a lot of oxygen right now? Some would say, are a waste of oxygen. I've had that said. An oxygen thief I've been called.

I think I understand. Do you get it now? And funnily enough, it was my father calling me that. You're trapped underwater and he's like, Jess, please stop breathing for the good of me. The good of mankind. I need to live. So speaking does use more oxygen.

That's why they stop speaking and just taking small breasts. Small breasts. Trying to be calm. Right. Let's see. Easy for Roger 1. Yeah. Roger 2 is freaking out.

He's using all the oxygen. Taking deep breaths. Yeah, that's interesting. So they know, they just, it sounds like both of them are just pros. Pros. Absolutely. So they know if there's any chance of us being rescued, It could take a long time.

We don't have a very long time. So let's just make it as, you know, as likely as possible that we get out of this. And this is quite nice. They squeezed each other's hands to indicate they were okay in the dark and silence. That's cute. It was also freezing cold. Oh, God. Yeah, okay.

Fair enough. Down the bottom, no heating. I think I don't have to get naked. Yeah. It's the only way. Jess, that's your solution to everything. Yeah. You were saying that when we were just doing it.

our normal work day. We're going to have to get naked, boys. It's a bit hot today. Guess we better get naked. It's a bit cold today. Well, we'd better get naked. Well, I could just turn the heater up. No, no, no, no.

Up, up, up. So they've got this system of squeezing each other's hands to let them know that they're all right, but they haven't spoken. So one of them's just assuming that he'll know what this means. Squeeze. Yeah. I'm okay. Yeah. The other one's like, I love you?

Yeah. Squeeze. Squeezing the shit. And to make conditions, we're going. worse, probably for both men, Roger Mellison was recovering from food poisoning. Oh, no. Which I'm sorry to report was from eating a quote-unquote horrible meat and potato pie.

Oh, not a pie. I'm so sorry for you to have to read that. No. It would have expected it be the pie. What a twist. Surely it wasn't the pie. When has a pie ever hurt you? I've never had food poisoning from a pie.

Fish tacos on the other hand. Yes, exactly. That'll do it. But a meat and potato pie. You can't go wrong. Yeah, that's interesting. The meat must have been bad. Yeah, not the potato, surely.

Potatoes have never hurt me. Never. So, is he also the guy who hasn't been sleeping? Yes. Oh, God, he's having a rough trot. He's having an awful time. He's having a bad time. He really just needed to go to bed, sleep it off.

Yeah. Well, maybe that's what he can do here. Yeah, have a little nap. Why doesn't he just nap? Have a kid. Apparently, they did take it in turns to have a little sleep, but one had to be awake at all times. In case, yeah, those weird fish from down below came together. They're like standing there, keeping watch of the gun.

Okay, I'll take the first watch. What if one, yeah, one of those lamplight-headed fish comes through here. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Blow the light right off its fucking head. He's shooting holes in the fucking thing. Don't worry, I got this, Roger. I'll save us. And it's like, uh, we could have used that light.

That was actually quite handy. Meanwhile in the surface, they were racing to get a rescue plan together. And the challenge they faced was a, mints. It's been said that humans know more about the moon than the bottom of the ocean, and the deeper you go, the more mysterious and harder a rescue is to pull off. We can't see the moon. Drew. We can't see the bottom of the ocean.

That's why I don't trust it down there. I can't see you. Where I am? Show yourself, coward. Has man walked on that deepest part in the trench? The Maranara trench? No, it's certainly not deep. You know, it's too deep.

You can be crushed. But we've walked on the moon, allegedly. Allegedly, okay, hang on. Yeah, it definitely wasn't on a sound stage, that's for sure. Wait, just to qualify what you're saying there, you're sounding sarcastic. Are you meaning that sarcastically? Yes. No, whatever answer you wanted to be.

Just double-checking. Do you believe man walked on the moon or it was faked on a soundstage? Yeah. Okay, great. That's actually a real... Thank you. Very inquisitive today, this guy. God, he's curious today.

Yeah. Wow, he's feeling curious. Feeling, oh, feeling curious. And I'm feeling gassy. Kevin? Yeah. Kevin was based on me. We have used an alias to protect certain members of the podcast.

I am Kevin. Just to give you a scale as to how deep the Rogers were, the maximum depth for recreational scuba diving, 130 feet. At 656 feet, you enter what is known as the dysphotic or spookily named Twilight Zone. There is only a tiny amount of light enough for visual predators to see. Down here you've got octopus, sperm whale. The world's deepest scuba dive ever was recorded at 1,090 feet.

Wow. Completed by Ahmed Gaber in 2014 in Egypt. Wow. So like most people, 135 feet. feet is as deep as you go. So this guy, Ahmed went very, very deep. But even then, the Rogers are much deeper than that. They're at 1,5 feet.

So there's no possibility of them bailing out and swimming to the surface, even if they had the world's best diving equipment, which they don't. They've got none. They can't make it. Yep. 1,500 feet is about the height of Central Park Tower, the second tallest building in New York City and the 15th tallest building in the world. Or for a more local reference, Matt.

Thank you. It's about twice the height of the iconic taller part of the Rialto in Melbourne. Whoa. You don't have to say the taller part. Just that's the Rialto. But there's two bits. Yeah, I know. Of course.

But so it's the tall bit. The tall bit, which is, you know, you don't go, well, yeah, every building has lower bits. Well, it's as high as the Trump Tower, third level. It's as high as the lobby of the Empire State Building. I'm actually as tall as the Birch Khalifa, the tallest building in the world, about one quarter of the way up the lobby. Yeah. I'm as tall as that. I'm as tall as the front desk.

It's a very tall desk. It's a very tall desk. It's a standing desk and a seven-foot man works behind him. Yeah. Okay. It's actually hard to communicate with him. Hello? I need some brochures for skydiving.

But I appreciate you bringing up the Rialto. Double Rialto? So Rialto is 823 feet. Whoa. They're 1,175 feet. Oh, the jewel in Melbourne sky. But think about that. That's crazy.

Twice that, but then underwater. No, I hate that. Nope. So it's all hands on deck on the surface. According to the BBC, which has a great 2013 article by Vanessa Barford that I will, of course, link to on the show notes, a support ship called Vickers Ventura was in the North Sea with sister submersible Pisces II on board. It was ordered to return to port as soon as possible, so the Pisces II, could be flown over to aid in the rescue.

Yeah, wow. Was that it, was that some sort of a nun, sister submersible? That's some sort of a nun. Sister submersible. Thank goodness you're here. You are a... Sister-smercible. You're an expert on all things nautical.

Sister submersible, be a deer in help of them. You've heard of the flying nun. We've got the diving room. Sister submersible. That's good stuff. The Royal Navy's HMS Haccata was sent to the scene with special ropes at 1209 and the RAF Nimrod aircraft flew overhead. A US Navy submersible called the Curve 3 designed to pick up bombs from the sea floor

was also sent over from California. So basically anything that has any chance of rescuing them is heading to where they are. Back on the sub, meanwhile, as the men sat in the dark, they stayed alive by rationing the air supply. They allowed the CO2 to build up a bit more. I wish I knew a song by air supplier. Oh, that's enough. So, don't know. Oh, that's enough.

We've got a rationing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you for helping me build that joke. That's very funny. Can you think of another one? Is that, I don't know. Is that then?

That sounds like it probably an air supply son. Some of Australia's finest, right? Is that Australian? Yeah, isn't that? I didn't know that. Air supply. Wow, these people are very lonely. Air supplies, some of their songs.

Here I am. Lonely is the night. Goodbye. Every woman in the world. All out of love. Oh, yes. All out of love. And lost in love.

These people not had a good chance time with love. Oh, wonder what I sang was 10 C. It wasn't even right anyway. Oh, whoa, we've got a ratchet in the 10 CC. And there, Russell Hitchcock and Graham Russell. What? No! Two Russells, two Rogers?

Whoa. I've got to ration the Russell sauce. Huge. So they allowed the CO2 to build up a bit to conserve oxygen, keeping track of how long it had been between air scrubs with egg timers. And like I said earlier, they usually would filter the air every 40. minutes, but they waited longer to make the oxygen last a bit longer. Using egg timers as well.

Kevin. Kevinair. Sounds like debonair. But it's not. Couldn't be any further. Kevin Air, the world's least Devin Air on. So because the CO2 is building up more than usual, this made them feel drowsy and lethargic, but they made sure one person was awake at all times.

And other supplies were low from the beginning. The pair only had one cheese and chutney sandwich and one can of lemonade between them. Cheese and chutney doesn't sound idea either, does it? Roger's already had an upset stomach. It doesn't need a cheese and chutney. And they decided they didn't want to consume them too early. So they sat back.

In the dark, they thought about their families back home. Chapman had just gotten married to his wife, June. Meanwhile, Roger Melanson had four young kids and a wife at home, so they were sort of thinking about them trying to stay calm, that kind of thing. Yeah. I can't remember. Yeah. So are they still able to get the one-way messages?

This is a whole different thing, isn't it? Oh, but they are able to communicate with us above. Oh, that's great. But they also probably aren't because they're trying to not talk. Yeah. Roger, you still okay? I'm squeezing the microphone. So it's pretty grim down there, but the men's spirits were picked up when a message of support from Queen Elizabeth II was radioed down to them, wishing them a quick recovery.

What? That's so great. And this offered them a much-needed morale boost until they were told it was in fact a ship called the Queen Elizabeth II sending wishes and not the Queen. Don't. Why? If they're going, oh my God, the Queen? And they're like, oh, no, no, no. Just let them think it's the Queen.

But also why does that ship go, oh, we better send some good wishes. Shut up. Signed off. Help or fuck off. They did say they're on their way. Okay. So Queen Elizabeth II, the ship was on its way.

And they were telling them, oh, they send, you know, Queen Elizabeth's the second sends best wishes. And they're like, oh, my God, the Queen. And they're like, oh, no, not that one. That actually makes me feel a bit better because I sent a letter to our queen. It was the second last week. and still haven't got a reply, but I'm like, oh, she's not always just sending out messages.

It'll probably take a bit of time. No, I think you've accidentally sent it to the ship. Oh, no. Is that what I've done? I think so. Oh, no, family Graham. You family Graham the ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which, I mean, they'll still appreciate it, but yeah, if you're expecting a reply back from Queen Lizzie, it's not going to come. Okay. So I would just send another letter. I'll write one right now. Yeah. Well, you keep talking, Dave. I'm going to scribe a letter. Is that what you do to a letter?

Sure. Describe it? You can scrub it, you can scruff it, you can do whatever you like to a letter. That's your time. I'm going to scrubble. Sorry, can I have a little private time? I'm going to go scruffle a letter. If you know what I mean?

No, what do you? Not at work time, mate. I'm a quick scruple. When you're off the clock, we're a business. We work hard one day on, six days off. Exactly. Fly in, fly out podcasting. It's hard.

I was thinking, can we, we should unionize and say if we can get better. You know, maybe half a day on, 12 days off. That's good. I don't hate that. Yeah. I don't hate that at all. But more money. Yes, we'll demand more money.

Double the money, half the work. Yes. Our pod bosses are awful people. They're terrible. They stink. Yeah, they stink. When we have to go in and we're also the bosses. So we just put on different hats.

Yeah. Got to play good, bad cop with ourselves. Yeah. I don't like the look at that Dave, God. He's scary. Yeah, he could do anything in there. Jess is very sexual. Every meeting we have, she's saying we better get naked to get to a resolution here.

It's very uncomfortable. She starts every meeting we're saying, just music quite hot. Taking off a layer. She's only wearing a bra underneath. You know what I say? When we're in negotiations, we're not in clothes. So take them off. And she's always doing this.

Bap, ba-da-ba. Yeah. What is that? What is that? Stop it. So strange. It's powerful. It's very powerful.

Very intimidating. Yeah. Wow. So these men are fearing for their life. Yes. In the early hours of Friday morning, 48 hours after first having hit the water and 40 hours since the accident, meaning they've got 24 hours of oxygen left.

The sister submersible. Be a dear hell, would you? She finally hit the water. The Pisces, too. A nun in a diet. She's swimming suit. She's got the habit underneath. Can't take that off.

They bathe in that. Can't take off the habit. Sister submersible, the Pisces 2 was launched and a special polypropylene rope attached to a toggle or collapsible snap hook was launched. Unfortunately, the lifting rope

tore from the manipulator, which is the little hand thing that it's got, because of its buoyancy, so it had to return to the mothership for repairs. Out of action, almost immediately. Then the Pisces 5, which had arrived on the scene, had a go with a polypropylene line attached to a toggle. The vessel managed to make it to the seabed, but it couldn't find the Pisces 3 before it ran out of power. So it had to return to the surface and refuel to have a go like...

Because I guess they're not going to just drop in the exact same way. No, and apparently they'd also, they'd crash into like a little divot in the seabed, which made it harder to find them. Of course. Yeah. But you've got to play it lies. Or take a stroke. Oh yeah, take a drop. But they didn't want to do that.

They're in a water hazard. Yeah. And a bunker at the same time. Double? Yeah. Double drop. I think it's a double drop. Double drop.

Double penalty. The Pisces 5 did have another go and finally located the stricken Parsis 3, but it had taken until 1pm on Friday, which is about 12 hours until the calculated oxygen deadline. Again, they tried to attach a polypropylene line, and again it failed because of the buoyancy. It was back to the drawing board for the rescue team. But the Pisces 5 rescue sub was ordered to stay on the ocean floor with the Pisces 3. I guess to make it easier for the other rescue vehicles to find them because they've got lights and everything. Oh, yep.

They've got power. There's no way that they can send a bit of oxygen across. I don't think that they can pump anything in. Yeah, that'd be why would they have a set up for that? Just in case, we need to pump oxygen in from one to the other. After this, you'd think that's the kind of thing they'd mention. Hey, in the future, I think we'd have a little valve

that we just sort of plug a bit of oxygen into. Prices 2 had another go but had to resurface after it got water in its own sphere. Oh my God. Luckily, they didn't sink to the bottom. By this time, it was 5.30pm, 7 to 8 hours of oxygen remained.

Shit. And the curve 3 that was designed to pick up bombs from the ocean arrived. It had come all the way from California but it suffered an electrical fault so it couldn't hit the water. Oh, my God.

So they're trying so many different little They're cursed at the moment. They can't get down there. Midnight came on the only working rescue sub. The Pisces 5 was ordered to surface, leaving the Rogers 1,500 feet below the surface on their own. Jeez. You'd be feeling, yeah, like hope is starting to evaporate. The oxygen was almost up and the lithium tube that were relying on to scrub the CO2 was also running low

and as conditions on board deteriorated, sitting silently in total darkness, The two, like you say, began to give up hope. Oh. Their only morale boost came from dolphins, which they could hear reverberating in the water. Quite a nice sound. Saturday morning came, and the men were in absolute oxygen overtime. If they'd been breathing normally, they'd already be dead, but their conservation efforts had eked out a few extra hours.

Wow. And Pisces 2 was fixed and launched again with an especially designed toggle and another polypropylene line, where they're hoping would actually work this time. They're still so heavy, so towing them out is going to be really hard. It's very hard. At 5am, it attached its line to the Rogers and Pisces 3. A few hours later, 940, the other bomb disposal submersible, the curve 3 arrived after

finally being fixed. And it also attached a line to the arph sphere. The two trapped men were in the four sphere. And Roger Melison, who's like the engineering expert about these things, he thought they'd made a mistake as the four sphere where they were was much stronger. He thought, why are they attached? themselves back there. They should be attaching it to here, but they did it the other way. The Rogers on board was skeptical whether the rescue would actually work, but it was sort of

this now and never point. And they decided to have their sandwich and can of lemonade. They kept it that whole time. Wow, it'd be so stale. Oh, gosh. Yeah, I should have had this. This did not keep. You should have had it fresh. First bite. Oh, I'm not having that. Is there anything else? Yeah. Yeah. What else you got? At 10.50 a.m. with the oxygen levels already beyond critical, the rescue submersible started to lift the Pisces 3 from the seabed. It was a slow and rough journey and the men found themselves completely disorientated, swaying through the water and being thrown around. Oh my God. But all was going well until they had just 350 feet to go. No. The curve, the ship, the submersible got tangled in the ropes.

Fortunately, they were able to untangle it quickly and resumed the journey, having to to stop for a second time at just 100 feet below the surface. Oh my God, you can see the light now. Yeah, you would be getting closer and closer. Yeah. This time, divers... They could jump out and run the rest of the way, you know what I? I'll take it from, you know, when you're in traffic, you're getting dropped off somewhere, you hit traffic.

Just drop me here. Just drop me here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They could have done that. I feel bad for the driver because they're still stuck in traffic. See, mate. Because of me, you know? Yeah, they can get out before getting deeper into trouble.

Yeah, that's right. They actually stopped at 100 feet so divers could attach heavier lift lines to get them up to the surface, you know, more reliably. At 1.17pm, the Pisces 3 cleared the water, but it took 30 more minutes to open the hatch to free the men as it had been jammed shut and wouldn't open upside down the position they were in. Because of the crash? Yeah. And remember at this point, every moment is critical.

Yeah, yeah. Man of you got to the surface and then you just sort of start, you see the men passing out. You can't get them out. It would be such an awful feeling. But finally, it did open. Roger Chapman described the moment He said, When they opened the hatch

And fresh air and sunlight rushed in It gave us blinding headaches But we were sorted We were euphoric We were also a bit pathetic It was quite difficult to climb out of the sub We'd been so cramped up We could hardly move

Yeah But they had made it Oh my God We were also pathetic Yeah Come on Roger We were sorted But we were pathetic

A bit sorted Bit pathetic Yeah, sort your shit out. Oh, that's amazing. It's funny, halfway through the story, when you're saying all this stuff, like, first-hand, what they were doing, I'm like, oh, they're going to make it because otherwise how we know? And then I'm like, oh, no, they can communicate every time. Oh, I go, no, do they make it? Yeah.

When I said, it's been described as traveling down the motorway, that was actually one of them saying, but I didn't want to give away that they definitely lived. So that was a quote from one of those guys. In total, the Rogers had been in pasties three for 84 hours and 30 minutes. Shit. That's on 72 hours of oxygen, so they'd made it last an extra 12 and a half hours. Wow. And it had been an extremely close shave. Roger Chapman later told the BBC, when we looked in the cylinder, we had 12 minutes of oxygen left.

That's how close it was. And it took him 30 minutes to open the lid. That is wild. 12 minutes. They had just been a part of what is still the deepest successful submarine rescue in history. Oh my God. What year was this, Dave? 1973. Wow. So since then, the record has not been broken. So they, so now were in their 20s and 30s. So they, are they still, do you know where they're at now? Yeah, so I've got a bit of a

post script about what happened, because it was, it was a very big news story at the time, a bit like the Titan submissible that you mentioned earlier just at the time. While it was happening in real time, people knew that there were these two men trapped on the bottom and that was on the front page of all the newspapers and then they came out. They survived this big, big story. Roger Mallinson continued on working for Vickers, the company Insubmersibles, until 1978. So he continued doing the exact same thing for five years before, becoming heavily involved in restoring steam engines, receiving a lifetime achievement award from Prince Michael of Kent for his involvement with the Shamrock Trust in Windermere in 2013. Wow. Okay. Good for him.

Yeah. Prince Michael of Kent. Yeah. Never heard of Prince Michael of Kent. It's a lesser royal. But soon afterwards, Roger Chapman left Vickers and formed the company Ruhmik, which provided subsea services and operations to offshore and defence industries. And according to the BBC, quote, he became a leading authority on rescue submersibles,

being mobilised to the sinking of the Kursk on behalf of the Royal Navy in 2000, and playing a central role in the successful rescuing of the seven-man crew of a Russian submarine in 2005. they were trapped 620 feet after their sub had become tangled in cables. Wow. And he helped save them. Roger Chapman died from cancer in 2020, age 74, but until that point, the Rogers had remained close friends meeting up every year. I love it.

Possibly to share a lemonade and cheese and cheese. Three days old, I hope. As per tradition, yes. It is a very unpleasant, but it's a good reminder. Wow. Roger Melanson was still alive in his 80s as of June 2023. When the Titan submersible initially went missing, searching for the Titanic,

he did a few interviews recounting his own ordeal, and this is why it got back in the news because he was like the survivor of the deepest ever rescue and an expert. But it sounds like that, because you wonder if going through something like that would have health effects into life, but it sounds like...

No, apparently not. They both kept working in the same industry. Of course, sadly, the crew on the Titan were all lost, and they were eight times deeper at 12.5,000 feet. So that's how deep they were. Oh. Who was eight times deeper? You know, the Titan. The Titan was eight times deeper.

Yeah. Right. Then the deepest ever rescue, so. Right. Wow. They were so deep. Shit. But of his own underwater rescued, Roger Mallison told the BBC.

Sorry, that's 16 Rialto's. So what you're saying? Yeah. Can you believe it? That's too many Rialtoes. Holy moly. Yeah, you don't need that many gems of the sky. No.

What is that what I mean? Yeah. The jewel in the Melbourne sky. Jewel in the Melbourne sky. Yeah. What's a jewel if not a gem? Yeah. I would have allowed it.

Thank you. And I'm probably the foremost expert on that beautiful building. Yeah. Certainly know its name. Yeah, everything about it. And the colour it is. But of his own, underwater rescue, Roger Mallison told the BBC that if the submersible went down again,

he wouldn't do anything differently. Roger Chapman was a great lad. Somebody else might have panicked. If I could have chosen anyone to go down with, it would have been him. That's nice. Straight to the pillar. I just don't want anybody to say, if I could choose one person to be stuck underwater with, it would be Jess.

Like, I'd be like, no, don't bring me with you. Whoa, whoa, I don't want to come. Yeah. No, thank you. No, thank you. We got two tickets. They won't in a radio competition I'm taking my friend Jess

No, no no no I don't want to do that Oh there it is That's the story of the rescue Of the Pisces 3 Oh it's so good Dave I loved it And I'm sorry for all the things I said

But luckily they've been cut out Yeah Matt didn't from Matt for the first time Matt does not appear in this episode Jeez I said some nonsense More than normal it felt like Yeah it did feel like that For me as well

Dave as per usual Was a perfect angel Oh my God, he's good. Thank you so much. What a great report, Dave. High stakes. But they all survive. They all survive, which I'm so happy.

Yeah. Amazing. Once again, the Patreon supporters, they voted correctly. Yeah. They chose the best one. And we've got to talk about how silly submarines are. Yes. Yeah.

But how sometimes they get into trouble, but also out of trouble. Yeah. We like that part. But of course, this in the end wasn't even an episode about submarines. This was about a submersible, which is different. And I knew that. We all knew that. We all knew that. We all knew that. Totally different. It's like turtles and tortoises.

Oh. Similar. Sure. Both got a shell. Yeah. But that's about it. And all turtles are tortoises and all tortoises are turtles. I'm like that. One or the other one. Yeah, one or the other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what a, what a tale. And I love a happy story with a happy ending.

Actually, this story wasn't that happy. But the ending was. But the ending was. Yeah, they stuck the landing, so we all feel good. And, well, did you know, that that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show. A lot of people, welcome to the show. If you've skipped through the story, you missed a good one. It's one of the ones that's worth going back to this. It might be worth me back in that little 15 second rewind button about 400 times. Yeah, you're right.

But yeah, this part of the show is where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. If you want to get involved, go to patreon.com. Go to Patreon pod. And you can sign up on a bunch of different levels. There's the Sydney Shineberg level. There's the arse prod level. There's the Dreamboat Cooper level. They all have different things.

It's explained there. But other things you can get other than nothing that I've said so far. Other than nothing, you can get something. We talk professionally. You've got, like Dave said, this topic was voted on by our supporters. You also get tickets, one-way tickets. into the nicest corner of the internet, our Facebook group. We do patron catch-ups now.

Did one at the Melbourne Comedy Festival with a group about, I think it was about Tannavis and it was so much fun. Me and Serene went to, did we go to the boiler maker for your bucks, Dave? Was that one of the stops along the way? No, we went to a similar whiskey bar. The boiler maker's very nice. Yeah, we went there and I said, this might be where Dave, we went for Dave's bucks, I think. Anyway.

Revealing personal information. Yeah, that's the kind of stuff you get on the Patreon level. Matt Misremember stuff. I'll take you on the tour of where I think we went for Dave's box. And then it turns out we didn't. We didn't. What else do you get on there? You get to bonus episodes.

Bonus episodes, that's right. That's a big one. Three, we're talking about getting into our fourth month. I bumped into Adam Kanavalay. Oh. Just around the corner from here the other day. Must be nice. He was walking from home to the city.

It was like a three-hour walk he was doing. What a guy. What a guy. Just had a backpack on. It was going for a hike. Attack in the day, yeah. The flattest hike you've ever done. That's my kind of hike.

But yeah, we had a quick chat about the D&D series we're going to do. But yeah, there's all sorts of stuff. You get discounted tickets. You get the first dibs on tickets. You're the first to know about tours. Yep. And all these sort of things. You get to even give questions for the Who Knewart podcast, all sorts of stuff.

Anyway, so Patreon.com slash do you go on pod. But the first thing we do is called the fact quote or question section. It has a little jingle, I think, or something like that. Fact quote or question. He always remembers the Bing. Sorry, the ding. And she always remembers the thing or the jingle. And if you're on the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above, you get to give us a fact-to-question

or a question or a broker. suggestion. Whatever you like, really. And then I'll read them out on the show. I read them out for the first time on the show. That's just to forgive myself for any fumbles, stumbles, or bumbles I make. The first one this week comes from Samantha Cutler, aka, and you also get to give yourself a title.

and Samantha's title is Sam Spamilot the Third. And Sam Spamelot the third has the suggestion. Oh, hey. It's spelled H. quadruple A, triple I. Oh, hey, my three favorite E! Oh, my three favorites. Okay, that makes more sense.

I thought they were the three favorite E's. No. Oh, hey. I read these out for the first one of the show. And it shows. Oh, hey. Stumbles, fumbles or crumbles. You are grumbling before our very eyes.

Oh, hey, my three favorites. Big smiley emoji. E, three exclamation marks. I have a proposition for you. It's probably a stupid idea, but I just love it when Jess goes off on a good old rant. Hey, when have I ever done that? I am mild-managed.

I don't recall it. I don't recall Jess, certainly. This is outrageous. This is defamation. And Jess will be pursuing it in any legal channels that open themselves up to her. Correct. Be it about dumb jokes people make about goose being a goose, the pointlessness of submarines. Appropriate.

Appropriate. Accountants being accountants. Yeah. Numbers that are just wrong or the soup being too damn hot. Okay. I love it. I'm not a well person. Are you seeing yourself in a mirror?

Yeah, I'm not liking it. Sam's putting a mirror up to you. Yeah. They're not liking what you're saying. No. But. I'm liking what I'm seeing. I'm not liking what I'm hearing.

Since Dave has book cheat and Matt has knew it with Matt Stewart, oh my God, that's not quite the name. I demand a just blabathon side podcast. A demand. At some point, that turned from a suggestion to a demand. And I think if you want to rant, you might be building towards one. Anyway. Do we accept demands?

No, we will not be, we do not negotiate with terrorists. That's right. My name for it would be Erkins with Perkins. That's not bad. I'm sure you guys can come up with something better. But anywho, just putting it out there into the glorious do go on averse. P.S. The secret whispering into the microphone bit the other day was so flippin' funny.

Ah, sigh. PPS, Greg Room for All. Love you guys. Okay. Bye. What do you think, Jess? I think, obviously, you've absorbed a lot of information, a lot of things that that irk me.

But one thing you haven't picked up on is that I cannot be told to do anything. So now that you've said I have to do a podcast, now I refuse. Yeah. Like this is not the way to get me to do. You have to trick me into doing stuff, not tell me to do it. So now I'm never doing it. When do you think that comes from? Ah, childhood.

Yeah, okay. So like go clean your room. You'd say, fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you, John. That's right. That's why I'm not the favorite. And there's two of you.

And that's why you are quote-unquote, an oxygen thief. That's correct. Yeah, well, I mean, this is off topic, but just something you should never do is a podcast called Erkinswood Perkins. Well, go fuck yourself, Matt. I'm going to launch it next week. Well, I don't think you should. Well, fuck you.

Now, I'm launching it tomorrow. Yes. We did it. Good one. What are your thoughts on the name, though? You don't have to make it. It irks me. to be honest.

Really? Yeah, I don't like it. What do you prefer? But isn't that perfect? Yeah. You'd start off on the wrong foot every time, which is the right foot. Welcome to Erkins with Jess Perkins.

Fuck, that's bad. Oh my God. I thought I was quite nice. But maybe I'm not. No, no, you're just, you are quite nice and then you go on a rant sometimes. It's fun. Okay. I don't think anyone takes them seriously.

Did you hear the targets you had? Surveys and accountants? No one cares about any of them. You pick silly targets. Maybe it should just be called silly targets. Silly targets. That's pretty good. That's terrible.

Terrible. Don't do it. Don't do it. Thank you so much Samantha Cutler. The next one comes from Patrick J. Early, Breck, it's not late. Love that. Getting in early with his own early jokes. Love that.

That's classic early, isn't it? Patrick J. Early is the musician, right? I'm pretty sure Has shared his music with us before Well Patrick Jay Okay Says has the title The Officially

Viciously Slippery of the local fishery unofficially Unbelievable He does it every time How could you do that You know how he does it His brain just shuts off

And he just reads it perfectly And then he tries to say Matt Stewart And he goes bleep blib blib Blip like he can't do it It's incredible People try to trip him up With a tongue twister

And he just glides right through Bradbury's it. Just beautiful sliding in. I get them on way a lot, I think. Yeah. Anyway, we got a joke. Ooh. It's better be good.

I am unpleasant. I'm hearing it now. Okay. Do they headphones? Yeah. Here we go. Hello, mates. I have a joke that my partner's sister told us two Christmases ago and it still makes me laugh.

Love it. What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a decrepit bus stop. One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station. Okay, it's good. That's pretty fun. Imagine a lobster with big boobs. That's good stuff.

That's good stuff, actually. Now that I get it, that's good stuff. Now that I know, it's boobs. You imagine that? A lobster with boobs, that is. That's funny. I'm imagining it wearing a bikini. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to keep it. Cover up those big boobs. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Hey, we don't free the nibble down there in the sea. Then Patrick says, thanks for the laughs and have a great Easter to all who celebrate. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you.

Thank you for the laughs. And we had a delightful Easter. Yeah. You're a bit late, but that's okay. That's on us, really, I guess. Yeah, I get, oh, geez. It's not on us. At the time we're recording, Easter was two days ago.

Wait, hang on. Patrick Jay early. He's talking about 2025. Oh, that's nice. It was hidden in plain sight. That's nice. Thank you, Patrick. Next one comes from, oh, Nathan Damon, okay, the group Dad.

Hi, Dad. If you kids don't pipe down or turn this car around. Oh, Dad! No. Shouldn't it be road train? He's the road train. Sure, he's also allowed to drive a car. Long time to turn around the road train.

I think once you get a road train license, you're not allowed to drive anything. You have to hand in the car license. It's too small. We have to attach, like, your Alantra to 58 other Alancho should stop driving around. around that way. Lancer, oh, sorry. Bloody done. Fipio.

So, Pod Dad's got a suggestion as well, two suggestions this week. Hi, guys, at the time of writing, there's been some snippets release for the highly anticipated second season of Beer Pioneer. I recommend everyone get onto YouTube and like and subscribe to the channel. Series 1 is up there and well worth watching, and if you've already seen it, watch it again. and it's well worth it. Let's all get around this great show so that Matt can do a third season.

Maybe in W.A. Matt, I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable, but the people need to know. Well, yes, it did. And thank you for... That's very nice. For people who may not have heard of it, should we say what it'd be a pioneer is.

Point them in the right direction. Yeah, so this first season followed in the path of William Buckley and escaped convict in what is now Victoria. Victorian exists at the time. And he ended up living with indigenous people of the area from the Wutherong people for 30 something years. Wow. He was accepted in and, yeah, but we follow that sort of path.

I only stopped at breweries along the way. And he walked it, we drove. That's probably the better way to do it. Age episodes are a different brewery or two. and then there's also, you know, telling the story as we go along. Yeah, it's awesome. Second season, which is in the editing, been in a long editing process, went from Adelaide to Darwin and that was awesome, going through the Red Center and pretty cool.

Yeah, that'd be great. Got a tattoo. Yes, you did. Wow. That's sick. That is actually cool. I think the same day I got the tattoo. I was in a haiku competition.

So they got me doing this. silly things, but it was fun. The show has range. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, Nathan, and yeah, the second season should be coming soon. But yeah, it's definitely, it's up there for people to watch if they want to. And also, group dad, Dave stole my discmen. Can you make him give it back to me, please?

Oh, come on, no. That was a shared discman. But, okay, then why won't you share with me? We have one earbud each. No. Dad! I like to listen to no effects and stereo. Nathan, if you sort that out.

Me and Dad were on first name. Well, you are much, much older than us. You're from Dad's first marriage. Yeah, that's true. We came along a long time later. The last one this week comes from Michael Derrissy, aka I will always answer your call, Matt, except when I often can't be bothered.

I must have called out for more submissions. That's fair. It is a lot of work for you. I thought you were just bothering Derizzi with phone calls. Yeah, yeah. Derizzie, baby. I can imagine that, 3 a.m. He's asking a question writing, is Dave really fine?

I know he's in inverted commas back, but how do we know that he isn't an AI replacement to cover up some heinous act? Oh, come on, ask me anything. I'll prove myself. He's just asked, are you fine? Oh, yes. Okay. There's a couple more questions. Oh, okay.

Or one more question. Yep. Has anyone actually seen Dave in the last several weeks? Yes. Yes. Yeah, you're looking at me right now? I'm looking at him all day. I'm in the room and I was on Zoom last week, but I'm back.

I'm in the room. Oh, no, sorry, there's one more question. What have you done to him? Oh, nothing. Nothing. I haven't done anything to him. I mean, new Dave is so good. I mean, Dave, not every, all, always Dave is really great.

Yes. Yeah, and fine. I'm fine. I've done heaps to him. We haven't replaced Dave with this new Dave. No. Why would we do that? This is Dave.

Why would we do that? We love Dave even when he had all those behavioral issues that he had before, but he doesn't have anymore. We didn't need to upgrade him. No. And we wouldn't have even like it. How could we? How do you upgrade a human being? There's not that sort of technology available.

Tell what it costs like exactly $4,997, which you didn't spend. We didn't. And we don't have. Thanks, New Dave. I think we got away with that. All right, the next thing we need to do, oh, should I just say quickly, Thanks so much for the facts, quotes and questions from Michael, Nathan, Patrick and Samantha. Next thing we like to do is thank a few of other great supporters.

Jester normally comes up with a game based on the topic at hand. I was thinking we name their submersible. Oh yeah, fantastic. Can I kick it off? Am I using the wrong word again? No. That's correct? Summersible is a smaller one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I call them submergibles, but yeah. Yeah. I don't want to name their submarine. No. I want to name their submersible. All right. If I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Costa Mesa in California.

Costa Mesa. Krista Murphy That's a fantastic name Fantastic name So fantastic That Krista spelt it in all caps Yeah You yelled it at us

I love that Okay Name of Submersible So what are we What are the ones We've had Pisces 3

We've had the curve 3 Okay so we need It's a word and a number Yeah It's the A word and a number So we'll kick us off We'll go around the table

The Banana Seven. Fantastic. It's a banana. It's always banana. I don't even like bananas that much. If we went back to you again,

would it be banana the next time? Well, no, because I've said it once now, but it's what I'll think first. It's always banana. Banana seven. I've been researching the history of bananas for the sleep show I do,

and I'm like, I reckon there could be a do-go-on report in the history of bananas. Wow. I thought about doing about for lemons, too. It's one of those things that, like, you think they're everywhere, but they weren't always everywhere.

Yeah. Anyway, Jess, will you find that riveting or boring? Oh, hard to say. It is funny that Matt is doing it for the show that he literally does to put you to sleep. And you're thinking of it for our show that's supposed to be entertaining. No, his is about lemons. Yeah. Very different.

Very different. Very different. Very different. The next person I'd love to thanks from Exeter and Devin. Beautiful. I've spent some time in Exeter. Lovely spot. Nester Wilson.

Okay, I'll kick us off. Yes. The dreamboat Six I thought banana I'm sure AJ will have added it down But that gap was quite long Waiting for you

A lot of crying I went banana then grapefruit And then dreamboat The grapefruit six is pretty With Dreamboat six is that Out of all the ones that we've heard on the show That's the one I trust The Dreamboat

The Dreamboat 6 Yeah fair What happened to the first five dream boat Yeah Well, yeah, they're often their dreams, so to speak. It's another word for boat heaven. Finally for me from Bonnithon in the ACT. Dave, you've spent some time over there.

Am I saying that right? Bonnethon. I don't know the name of that suburb, I'm afraid. Anyway, from Bonnethon in the ACT, it's Amy Jackson. I'll start. The. Salw. The Salw Patch.

Cellar Patch 1, the original. I'm, it is hard. It is tough. Let's send it round to Dave next. I agree. I tried to that time. And I don't know why I jumped in. You absolutely didn't.

Like, I'm like, what, it's sour? He's just been talking about lemons. Yeah, yeah. They gave you grapefruit and it gave me sour. Yeah, we're stupid. Oh. Dave, do you want to thank some people? I'd love to thank from Location Unknown.

We can only assume they are deep, deep within the fortress of the malls. Maybe they're closer to the bottom of the ocean than we are right now. Maybe they're even below it. Oh, wow, that's so crazy. And thank you to Horace Lupercal. Oh. Wow.

That's amazing. Matt, do you want to start this one off? Yep, the. Garibaldi. Six. What's Garibaldi mean, Dave? It's like a type of biscuit but also military dictator. Type of biscuit.

Who was named after who? Yeah. Because both seem inappropriate. We're naming our boy after a biscuit. We're naming our biscuit after a dictator. Which is more fucked. It's the Garibaldi Bish. The Garibaldi 6.

Wow. Do you want everyone? That's good stuff. Good one, everyone. Yeah. Well done. And finally, well, actually not. Finally, I'd like to think also from location unknown, maybe even closer.

Whoa. To the Mariana Trench, Alex Bain. Alex Bain Okay, the Carbonara 14 The first 13 A little too creamy

Yeah Hard to get super creative with the number But I thought 14 hit a nice balance Yeah, it was nice I like that Yeah And finally for me I'd like to think from Rockville, Maryland

It is Timothy Murphy I know a Timothy Murphy From Maryland But he lives in Melbourne Um, uh, the You gotta think of the Serengetti 4,000

Oh, you've gone quite a lot bigger It's more of a, there's not 3,9009 It's one of the things where you, you start at 4,000 Yeah, you start at 4,000 Do you think Serengeti's an appropriate name for a submersible? I like it. Yeah, wetland. Yeah, okay, great.

Beautiful. I think it's fine. Serengeti 4,000. That's a good name. I'd love to thank some people. I would love to thank from Aurora in Colorado, I assume, CO. Yeah.

I would love to thank Lucas Azcaga, Ascaraga. I don't know if you've quite got that. I don't think I have either because I laughed through it. Lucas Azcaraya. Oh, yeah, that's good. Might be a soft J. Yeah, Azcaraja. Oh, that's it.

That's going to be it. Yeah, that's fantastic. Sorry, I fumbled so much. Um, okay, who wants to start? The, you start. Okay, Kukamanga. Nine. The Kukamanga nine.

They sound like they're on trial. Yeah, it doesn't sound good. But that's just because of, um, that's because of, uh, the Chicago nine, is it? Also, anything with nine. Maybe in my head. Rancho, kooka monga. Is that what you have? Yeah, I think that's where I got it from.

Yeah, but it's just a good word. It is a great word. What does it mean? I would also like to thank from another ACT suburb that I'm definitely going to butcher, Gungalin? Gungalin. Or Gungarland. Gungarland?

I would love to thank Beck Murdon. Beck Murdin. Murdin. Okay. The rainbow. 500. That's good. Beautiful round number.

Apparently, Kookamonga. was derived from a Spanish rancheria, and the meaning has been variously interpreted as sandy place or place of many springs. So that's a very appropriate name, Dave. Perfect. Sounds nice. Sandy and or wet. Yes,

West End. And finally, I would love to thank from Westminster, also Colorado? Wow. Wow. I would love to thank Buster Blue. Buster Blue. I mean, that's a pretty great name in itself. Yeah, it is.

But if you live. your life as a Buster Blue. Buster Bluth as well. Yeah. Very close to that. Okay. The dust mite 69. Nice.

The Dust 1st. A couple of dust mites going at it. If you're on the bottom of the ocean, they say, don't worry, the rescue vehicle's here. Okay, which one is it? The dust mite 69. Great. You're like, it's got masking tape on the side. It's still made out of wooden leather.

Yeah. I'm going to need you to record a message for my wife. I'm not feeling good about this. All right. The last thing we need to do is welcome some people into the Tribidge Club. Actually, just the one name this week. No. I believe.

Let me just double check. Now, while I'm double checking, Dave, do you want to explain what it is? Basically, this is our Theatre of the Mind, Hangout Club Hall of Fame, where we induct as many people as we can every single week that have been supporting the show on the shadow level or above for three. consecutive years. We already gave them a shout out a couple of years back, but to enshrine them forever to thank them for their loyal service and support of the show.

We welcome them into this club that you can enter and never leave, but why would you want to leave? There's bands. There's food. There's drink. There's entertainment. There's hangout zones. There's sport on the TV.

There's ice hockey, air hockey. Ice hockey. It's quite big. It's as big as you wanted to be. It's very, very big. Jess is also behind the bar inside this thing. of your mind venue and normally has a drink? Well, I've got a lot of seafood this week.

Oh, great. I try and eat, so, you know, please eat up. Got prawn cocktail, some fish, some lobster with big boobs. Oh, my God. I said I wasn't eating a fuck fish. Insane anything about lobster. You can't feel good about that. No, I don't feel good about that.

That's a good. That's a good. And I've got little plastic submarines that I'm going to pull up. put in the bottom of all your drinks. So it is a bit of a choking hazard. Just be careful as you get to those final sips. Bit of a drink hazard, but also a bit of fun. It will look very cute.

Worth it. Yeah, it will look cute. Dave, you also book a band? Yes, and you're never going to believe it. I book these bands months, sometimes years in advance because they're in demand. They're touring schedules. They're headlining Glastonbury. That's how big this artist is.

Huge. Whoa. You know that, but, you know, obviously it's just a coincidence they're coming up this way. You know them as the singer of the Arctic Monkeys, Alex Turner. And tonight he's performing solo. So in its entirety, the soundtrack to the film Submarine that he wrote, it's Alex Turner. Whoa. You can't have a submarine.

Huge. How about that? Huge. I'm standing on the door, I've got the clipboard. There's a list of just one name. I'm about to read it out. If you hear your name, jog on in. You've got to hit the ground running.

As you enter the club, Dave's on stage. He's letting everyone who's already inside know, and there's hundreds of people in there. He'll be hyping you up for them and them up for you. sort of like a MC 69 and Jess is there hopping up Dave because he does pretty weak wordplay and you know he doesn't feel great about it or he shouldn't at least

all right so we're ready to go yep please welcome into the club from Newport in Great Britain it's James Raymond James Raymond everybody loves James Yes find a fault in that you miserable fuck

That was fantastic Welcome in James just recapping the names. James, welcome in James. I love to bring this to the end of the episode. Is there anything we need to tell people, Jess, before we go? We think they're great and don't listen to what your mum says.

Yeah, your mum's wrong. She's wrong about you. You do have potential. If you would like to submit a topic, anybody can do that. There's a link in our show notes. It's also on our website, which is do go onpod.com, where you can find information about live shows and all the other podcasts we do on this wonderful network of ours, if I may say.

say so myself as the person who contributes the least to the network. We also... Hey, Erkins with Jess Perkins. It's happening. It's coming. Spring 2025. We also have social media that you can find us on at Dugon Pod across Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. And that's about it. David, boot this baby home. We will be back next week. We'll commit to that with another episode. But until then, also thank you so much for listening and goodbye.

Later. Bye. Bye. We're just taking a week by week. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester.

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