Do Go On - 443 - The Theft of The Scream

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

Recorded live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, and in front of one of the wildest and hottest live audiences we've ever had, Jess tells us the tale of a rather unlikely art thief. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 09:50 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/  Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-11/scream-edvard-munch-art-heist/103423910https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/mysterious-motives-behind-theft-scream-180964531/‘The Man Who Stole The Scream' documentary 2023https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12409047/How-stole-Scream-50-seconds-man-audacious-heist-Munchs-priceless-painting-tells-astonishing-story-new-show.htmlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSOFS56_AN8 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Well, hello there. It's Matt. I was going to say Matt Jess and Dave. It's just Jess and Dave here.

We're here to tell you, I know. I'm just so used to saying that. And you could have started again, but you've just committed. Let's just go with it. Hey, hey, hey, everyone. No editing here. No, where does he are dropping it at the start of the episode to tell you, you're about to hear a live episode recorded at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival,

our first show that we did. And we've got a couple more coming up, but I'm afraid to say they are sold out. Yeah. I'm also thankful to say that. Yeah, we're very lucky to say that. It's very cool. If you were at this show, thank you because this was a hot one. It was so much fun.

It was our first show of the festival, first live show in Melbourne for a little while. Yeah, for ages. And honestly, my favourite live show we've done for a long time. Me too. It was so much fun. And I did the report, spoiler alert. And normally when you're doing the report, especially at a live show, you're just trying to keep the thing going. You're barely hanging on to the riffs.

You're just trying to like... That's right. You know, because we only get an hour at these festivals. Yeah, we're stuck to time, but I was having a good time. So if you're somebody... Sometimes people don't particularly love the...

Like listening to the live episodes. And that's cool. But I reckon give this one to go because it is hot. It's a hot time. Hot, hot, hot, hot. And we'll be back at the end of the episode with our fantastic Patreon section.

You can skip ahead to that, of course, as everyone's favorite section if you like... Yeah, if you want to go listen to that first and then... Yeah, but if you want to also hear a hot show, from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Here it is. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Debornike, Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

How are you doing out there? Would you please... I was going to say keep the applause going, but now start the applause and welcome to this stage. Jess Perkins and that's true. They are here. Oh, what is the heck? We got...

Someone gave us... Oh, wow. What do I see? Discount Easter eggs. I hope you got a deal. Wow. You did? So, thank you so much.

Thank you so. Give us some chocolate eggs. That'll be good for those at home listening along. They'll enjoy that. They'll enjoy it even more when we start eating them. Put them down, thank you so much. Guys, how are you going? You good?

Us. Yeah. I've already asked them. They said they're good. Yeah, we've been chatting back there the whole time. Yeah, we've been sitting with you. That was us. When they're coming in, when they were all coming and sitting down,

we were the ones talking to you, out there in that little room. It was dark, but... Do you don't recognise our voices yet? Did I respond? You were dancing, to be fair. Actually, give me your microphone. Show them what you were doing.

Okay. Show them. Show them. This is my new move. Thank you. Good for the people listening at home. That's what you pay for. Yeah.

That's the good stuff. Yeah. If you're going to describe for those at home, What would you say? I can't think of a polite way to describe it. I think the words that I was immediately thought of, you can't say anymore. Okay. No, no, no, stop.

For those who are that went, oh, that was your head. I didn't say shit. So whatever you thought of, you sick fucks? Yeah, and Jess, she'll still say a lot of the words. So the ones that she won't say are actually awful. They're pretty good. I know how to describe. I describe their dance move as river dance, but cool.

Oh. Thank you. River dance. That's river dance is where you can't move your hands at all. And that's the least cool part about it. To me, you're in town at the moment. Any river dance dances in to not imagine. That would be so fucking.

good, watch Dave eat his words. Yeah, they'd beat me up. Actually, no, they'd kick me up, wouldn't they? What do you think? We just beat a hand-based thing for you. Yeah. Yeah, sure. We're really not yes-adding, Dave, today.

I'm doing my own podcast over here. I'm killing. So thanks how much we're going on. This is the first of four shows we're going to do here in the basement comedy club. A fantastic event you'd be in. Jess. Sorry, Dave. I think, for the list of home, how I describe is, like,

of those guys at the car yards. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. You're like poppy guys. Come on in. We got Hyandthos. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And as per usual, Matt's on a bit of a delay. But when he pipes in, they're very funny things. That's so great to be here. Who's heard of the show? I'm not on delay. Oh, God. Now, we always ask at our live shows,

who's heard the show before? It's always a relief. And we always have to ask the opposite of that. Who has never heard the show before? Right in the front? It's okay. It's good. It's always one on the front road.

And you were very hesitant to put your hand up because you thought we were going to have a go at you. And we won't. Thank you for being here. You dickhead. He fingered you back and you won't even looking. Now, for the listeners at home, when I say fingered,

I mean like I do outside the car yard. Is that made it clearer? I'm talking Car City, Marab and, you know, circa 2004, but... Am I making this better? No. Okay. So much worse. Anyway, Dave, do you want to explain how this show works?

Yeah, I'm going to avoid this man's eye contact for a little while. So basically, what the show is, we take it in terms of the report on a topic, often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away. We write up a little report on it and bring it. back to the group. Now, Jess, it's your turn to a reporter on a topic. Matt and I have no idea we're going to talk about. And we always start with a question. That's true. Did I write a question? Let's find out together. I haven't, uh, haven't, okay. Oh, hang on. Got to remember my own birthday. Okay. So weird that you're born on the 69th day of the 69th month.

Incredible. Nice. Okay. My question is, can you guess the famous artwork from this Oxford Dictionary definition. Okay, it's famous artwork. This is a definition. You'll get it. Shut up. Wait, a definition of an artwork. No. Oh, okay. It's a definition of the title of the artwork. The scream. Yep. Oh my God, I feel electric. That was, wow. That felt so good. So good. Yeah. Holy shit, I'm buzzing.

I looked up the definition for nothing. Give a skip the definition. To give a loud, long, piercing cry or cries expressing extreme emotional pain. Oh, Mona Lisa. So yes, I'm going to talk about the scream, but you know, it's, it's, I'll get to it. Anyway, it's been suggested by a couple of people, Scott Coventry from Scotland. Just checking if Scott's here. Never know.

And Kristen from Townsville. Would have been funny if they were from Christland. Because Scott was from Scotland Yeah No honestly I thought the same thing When I said Scott from Scotland I just didn't say it out loud

But I did enjoy it So we are like Okay we all Even if you like I don't know that painting You do know the painting It's a very famous painting Dave do an impression of the screen It's one of there

Yeah That one very good That's Maca Cole Yeah it's a bit of Kevin My favourite artwork. Macaulay Culkin. Actually, my passcode is his birthday too. Do you know that?

What? 609. 609. I'm a birthday, and now I have to change my passcode. Okay. The Scream is by Edward Munk. It's become one of the most iconic and recognisable pieces of art and had a formative influence on the expressionist movement.

Monk recalled his inspiration for the piece saying that he'd been out for a walk at sunset, when suddenly the setting sun's light turned to the clouds a blood red. He sensed an infinite scream passing through nature. That's terrifying. An infinite scream passing through nature. I mean, it's still going. Yeah, it's infinite.

Yeah, can an infinite scream pass through? It's more of a permanent thing, isn't it? Holy shit. Yeah, I think, fuck you, monk. Got him. Got him. Is he here? Say to his face.

Edward. So it's also been called the scream of nature. There are actually multiple versions of the scream. Monk created two versions in paint and two in pastels. In mass paint. I think people were thinking, I just, whatever. I'll have a couple of minutes where I shut the fuck up. How about that?

How about that? You say that drinking an ice coffee. It's not going to go well. He's got an ice coffee and a beer. Which I think is worse than the... other combo we often has, which is ice coffee and orange juice. Yeah, that's gross. It's not. It's hot coffee and orange juice.

Sorry, true. Anyway, so, yeah, so there are a couple of, there's four versions of the scream. There's two in paint and some that are sort of made from a lithograph stone print. The original version was created in 1893. It took 11 years for someone to notice that it had a small pencil inscription in the upper left corner that read, could only have been painted by Madman. A bit of fun And was that the artist himself?

Yeah, mum wrote that, yeah Just having a bit of fun It took 11 years for anybody to notice I like, he's trying to talk himself It's got a bit of cobra energy about it You know, like Yeah, this must have been on my real sick cunt, really All right, Edvard

Okay, okay, mank, settle down. Anyway, if anybody was like, oh good, Jess is going to talk about art for an hour. No, because the original 1893 version of The Scream is the subject of today's report, and it's one of our favourite kind of topics, especially around art. It's a heist. There was literally like whispers. It's a heist. It's a heist.

It was a start of a fucking Disney song. It's a heist. It's a heist. It's a very art heist. The fuck is wrong with you, nerds. I love you so much. You pay my rent. You guys rule. You big dorks.

It's a heist. Let's get into it. In the early hours of February 12, 1994, a car pulls up out the front of the National Gallery in Oslo. It's a Norway. It's a Norway. Norway. It's just telling their friend who's not good at geography. That's Norway. Norway was hosting the Winter Olympics that year and in fact the opening ceremony was happening that very day. So everyone's attention was on Lillehammer and Oslo was fairly quiet and a lot of the police in Oslo were not there. They were off helping at the Olympics. So it was a quiet time.

Two men get out of the car but they leave it running. They carry a ladder across the street to the National Gallery and set the ladder against the wall of the building. One of the men climbs up the ladder to a second floor window, which he smashes and climbs inside. Just inside that window sits the scream. The thief snips the wires that secure the painting to the wall, carries it to the window, and uses the ladder as a conveyor belt, sliding it down to his accomplice at the bottom of the ladder. It took them about 50 seconds. to steal one of the most famous and important paintings in the country. Less than a minute.

In and out, smash and grab. Beautiful stuff. Was it already famous at the time? Yes. Yeah, okay. Because, yeah, it feels like if it wasn't, and it's like it got famous because of this, fair enough. That's why you just have it in some guy's window,

but if it was already famous, I probably would have had to. like at least double pain glass. Yeah. Or like an alarm. Oh. Something like that. Yeah. Just an idea.

That's not bad. So was the gallery open at the time? It was, it was the wee hours of the morning. So now it was closed. Imagine it was open and you just saw someone smash. Walking to the guy. How are you? And you're like, the front doors are open.

No, it was, yeah, middle of the night. So in its place, they left a note, scribbled on the back of a postcard that said. Only a mad cunt would steal. this. Okay. Couple of bleeps gonna be

needed on this head. That's cool. That's cool. It's a similar kind of vibe, I guess. They wrote, thanks for the poor security.

Just kind of rub it in a little bit. If I was head of security and I saw that, I would be pocketing the note for sure. Oh, yeah. No one would say that.

The cops would be like, any evidence? No. Nothing? Oh, just this note, actually? they wrote this note saying the security guards hot. Whatever that means, I don't know.

Could have been any of us. Investigate that, officer. So shortly after the crime had occurred, the open slash broken window finally triggered an alarm. It was on a bit of a delay, much like Matt. And police were called to the scene. I'm not on a delay. That's the first time you've let me finish a sentence before interrupting.

No, no, the difference is you hadn't started the next one, yeah. Yeah, I waited. But the thieves had disappeared, and their incredibly quick crime had left very few clues behind. I'm being generous there, it had left none. There was no clues. There was nothing left behind, no evidence other than painting gone. They did have CCTV, but it was pretty blurry.

But, yeah, there's footage of them using the ladder to get up to the window, and then just scooting back down. down again. The gallery officials assured the media who caught wind of the crime very quickly that the thieves would find it almost impossible to sell the painting without being noticed because it's quite famous. Jais, I've just had a funny image. Honestly, this is a little delayed. Remember when you're talking about how it slid down the ladder? But imagine

Seeing that And it's just going to And he goes He's having the best time For the people at home He did the scream face Or he did my O face One time

He's got proof for one now But We're still not sure Anyway so yeah The gallery officials are like Don't worry they can't sell it which it's not making anybody feel better, but it's impossible to estimate the value of the painting,

gallery director Nutberg said. I mean, it's Norwegian, it's probably like, Nutberg, but... That's almost funnier. Nutberg. His first name's Nutt. K-N-U-T. Wow, that's awesome. Doesn't that rule?

Yeah. So he said it's impossible to estimate the value, but it's Norway's most valuable, monks most renowned, and it would be impossible to sell. So the Norwegian police, they assume that there'll be a ransom demand coming in. So they're like, they'll come to us.

But as the days and weeks passed, nothing came. And they're like, oh. So with not a lot of evidence to go off, police were a little stumped. But they did, however, have one suspect that came to mind quite quickly. They were like, oh, what about this guy? It was 27-year-old Paul Enger, a former football player for Volarenga.

And why is a football player your first thought when a painting is stolen? It's a pretty understandable question. It was probably because in 1988 he had climbed into a window at the Monk Museum in Oslo and stole the painting Love and Pain by Edward Monk. That might be what gave him a hunch. He was caught, served four years in prison. So yeah, I guess a theft conducted in the... same exact way and a piece by the same artist being stolen short maybe you'd be like i think it might

be paul because it was um yeah yeah no mystery in this one um sorry it is a hires but it's not a mystery as other people had whispered um it was paul and let's have a little bit of a look at our prime suspect. So Paul Enger grew up in the Tvieta in Oslo, a fairly rough area in the 80s. He said some people were into sport and some were into drugs. Nothing in between. Two options. But I straddled both worlds. Somehow he managed us to do it all. From the age of like eight or nine, he dreamed of being a professional football player. From his teens, he and his friends were prolific criminals. By 14 or 15, he had connections with all the top criminals in Oslo and was doing

everything from blowing up and robbing ATMs to robbing jewelry stores and smuggling goods, which in his words was really good fun. Smuggling, that's fun. You know, undeniable. That's good stuff. He had a couple of lines he wouldn't cross so. He never did anything to do with drugs. He wouldn't smuggle. He didn't use drugs. He didn't sell nothing. And he never broke into someone's home because he said, that's private. Okay, that's someone's home. Okay, jewelry store, ATM, fine. Yeah, exploding an ATM, that's absolutely fine.

Robbing a jewelry store, really scarring that person for life. Fine. A home, come on. Have some respect. By his 20s, he'd committed so much crime that he wanted for nothing. He had cars, boats, watches, money, the most beautiful women in Oslo. He stole women? But not from their homes.

Not from their homes. Not from their homes. Only from jewelry stores. He said, I was like David Beckham is now. I was in an interview in 2008 talking about his soccer career. He said, there was one portion Oslo, mine. I hate him and love him. He's so arrogant, but you're like, okay, well, good idea.

And also, I couldn't fact check that. So they had one portion. There was one portion in Oslo and it was his. I don't know. Was it? Is it stolen? Ooh. Someone's thieving a thing. Leaving a thing.

Single thing. God, he's good. Stop them. That's good stuff. That is good stuff. So he had the only portion Oslo. You can't steal the only Porsche. I think he might have bought that.

Since you're taking everyone's like, that's his. That's his. Ooi! Oie! No, that's his. Yeah, go on. Give it back. That's David Beckham's.

I think he might have bought that one. But it wasn't enough. He wanted more. He loved the attention. But more than anything, he wanted to show the world that he was capable of pulling off something big. Yeah, you could have probably phrased that better, but... I don't see how. Pull off something big, did a bit of a nutberg. Do a bit of a nutberg.

Oh, a nutberg. You're getting a kind of idea of the vibe? Yeah. We're older than you think too. We should, yeah, yeah, anyway. Who's fingering now? Yeah, we've all said some things tonight. I think I'm doing really well.

Yeah, obviously, you're really steering the ship so well. So well. I haven't said anything too fucked. Well, there's time. Anyway, so Enger's interest in an obsession with the scream started at a very young age. He first saw the painting on a school trip and described the first time he saw it

as having a profound emotional response for him. This is a little kid being like, yeah, I get it. Sounds like a really rough neighbourhood he grew up. Yeah. He said a really intense feeling of anxiety overcame him and he saw a lot of himself in the painting, which again, very sad. It says a lot about his childhood.

But anyway, for several years as a child, he would visit the painting a couple of times a week. which is a lot for anyone, but imagine a kid coming into a gallery a couple of times but you'd be like, that fucking weird kid's here again. The way they reacted was like,

what a weirdo. They were shocked. They were shocked. It's strange. This guy's checking out a local, like, classic piece of art. What a freak. Yeah, probably free entry of all.

But like a little kid. Like, imagine like an eight-year-old doing that. I would find that odd. If I worked at the gallery and this little eight-year-old's like, oh, good morning. Probably call you mother. It feels like the beginning of a horror movie.

Coming to check on the painting, mother. See, it's creepy. And it's a pretty creepy painting to really. He's a bit of a full-on painting. Anyway, but he loved it. So the idea to steal the painting came many years later when he was already an adult and a pretty accomplished thief. In 88, he hatched his initial plan to steal the screen with a fellow thief.

But Enger's planning went awry and they nabbed the wrong painting. They got love and pain instead. It's also called the vampire, two different names, but it's another one by Edward Monk. After getting caught and spending four years in prison. Sorry, he grabbed the wrong painting. Yeah. He'd looked at it every day for years. Well, he kind of like, in that case, the painting was right next to the window,

So he'd like reached in, grabbed it and left and then looked at it and went, it's still beautiful, love his work, but it's not the one. And it would have been a slightly different vibe. This is a vampire. So when it slid down, rather going on, this would have been like, blah. Blah. Yeah.

Yeah. So yeah, he got caught. He spent four years in prison and his feeling of failure drove him to revisit his goal of stealing the scream. This time it would be while most of Oslo's police force were at the Lillehammer Olympics. So he planned it out for a long time. Ironically, Enger perfected his master plan

while still in prison for stealing love and pain. He read books about other thefts. Are the prison guards doing anything? Who's giving him the books? Yeah, 101 greatest thefts. Yeah, and they're like, look at him reading quietly. That's nice. I learned so much in prison, he says.

The other prisoners called me the asking man. The asking man Because I asked all the time, How do you do this? How do you do that? Before I was an ordinary criminal, maybe. That's the name of the Norwegian riddler in Batman. It's the asking man.

By the time I left prison, I was an expert. And I think that's smart. Put all the criminals together and let them chat. Yeah. Don't them figure stuff out. So on the Faithful Day in 1994, two of Enger's accomplices put his master plan into action. In the early hours of the morning,

they propped a ladder against the National Gallery, broke a window, stole the painting. Master plan. And left a note that said, thank you for the bad security. How many books they need to read for this? And what questions was he asking, how do you unfur the ladder?

Yeah, this took him like six years to think about. He was overjoyed in achieving his dream of having the scream in his possession. When I had control of it, I was so happy, he says. I felt so good like I was walking one metre from the ground. I felt power. He was so happy, he got it. Enger had successfully achieved his aim of getting one over the police.

I don't think I really understood completely how much it meant to the National Gallery, the police, and everyone, says Enger. I made a fool of them on national TV. It was hard to read if he was really happy about it. that or maybe felt a little bad but I think he was mostly feeling pretty good about it. He's like, uh, thank you. Um, but publicly, Paul denied any involvement, despite cameras picking him up among the gallery visitors a few days earlier. And actually, uh, I watched a documentary about it and he,

he had been like visiting the gallery fairly frequently just to sort of make sure, you know, he's like counting the number of windows. He's, he's scoping the place out. And then goes a few days before and because they had this big exhibition on for the Olympics, they'd moved the screen to just inside the front door. And he was like, even easier. So that's good. But he denied, he publicly, he was like, what are you talking about? No, of course I didn't steal it.

What? I can't be at a gallery a few days before. Jeez, Louise. He even had a bit of a sense of humor about it. Well, I say that, but he was taunting the police. Apparently he called them and gave them like, about about himself.

This is, like this is classic riddler slash asking man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he would call them and be like,

oh, Paul Enger's got something pretty dodgy in his car. And then they'd pull him over. They'd pull him over. He'd have nothing. And he'd be like,

wow. And he'd go, this is harassment me. Yeah, and so after a while, he would have dodgy shit in the car, but they'd just stop pulling him over.

Because they're like, this guy's just a fucking, yeah. It's pretty good. A couple of months after the theft, he placed a notice in the newspaper announcing the birth of his son, and the birth notice said the baby had arrived with a scream.

So he's just there going, eh, eh, eh, eh, he's so smug. And his partner's like, fucking help. Come on, man. Is that everything you have to be about this? Can you not just be happy about your newborn son? For one newspaper reporter, who wanted to interview Paul about being

wrongfully accused of stealing the scream, Paul agreed to go to the National Gallery and pose for photos in front of the wall where the painting had previously hung. They essentially put up a poster of the painting and then had like a little sign under it and said stolen and there's photos of him standing in front of it. And the article's all about how he's wrongfully accused.

But he has it. Oh, have they thought to look at his house? Oh, is that a rule the cops have as well? Ooh, a little smattering over there. Yeah, not bad. No, they didn't get involved, but appreciate you trying to get that going. It's so...

Fuck you. For the listeners home, I fingered the man again. You did the right thing. Thanks so much for coming along. Yeah, sorry. We're really nice. I couldn't even sell that. So yeah, he's posing for pictures in front of it.

But even in the doco, he's sort of like, oh, that was probably a bit far. I was probably pushing that, I reckon. That was a bit too far. So anyway, he knew that the police were watching him. They rented an apartment across the road from him. They followed him in his car. They turned up at his businesses. But he was confident that his plan was foolproof.

The police couldn't pin anything on him. And his plan was just to hold onto the painting for a couple of years and then probably give it back. is what he says now. So who knows if that is true. But the police were offering a reward for anyone who had information on the whereabouts of the painting. And this is when it started to get a little dicey for Paul.

Because now other criminals are out to get him too because they want that sweet, sweet reward money. So he said criminals would turn up at the hair salon that his wife worked at, asking her questions about him and about the painting. One night he got a call from a friend who had two people forced their way into his apartment, with a knife and cut his neck while asking where the painting was.

Like not fatally, but still pretty full on, hey. It was an axe, they were trying to give him a shave. It was just a little nick. He just put some toilet paper on, he was fine. And he actually looked way better without the beard. Is that about me or Dave? It's about this guy with the knife. Dave.

I don't think I look better with or with her. So now filled with paranoia and fear for his friends and family, Paul thought that maybe he had had the paintings long enough and it was time to give up the game. Meanwhile, the Norwegian police were under intense pressure to find the painting, so they asked for help from Scotland's Yards specialist art theft unit. They do art and antiques. They're the cool boys. There was a Scotland Yard detective named Charles Hill. He'd been tracking down art thieves undercover for almost 15 years by the time the screen was taken. and so he was a very experienced undercover agent for Scotland Yard.

And how calls his name? His initial C, he hit Chill. That's sick, isn't it? Isn't that cool? Like the cobra. Chill. Oh, well, I could give you a nickname and you can accept it. Will you be chill?

I'm not chill. I'm not chill. It'd be an ironic nickname. Dave and I are real Thai Bays. We're only ever called chill in a mean way. What does type A mean? Just like really highly strung and I'm projecting here. I'm talking about myself.

I made it about me. Is that a type A thing? That's a type A thing. Dave can't get a complaint. What kind of type am I? Oh, fucking dead. That's good. Oh, that's good.

It's a long way down the list. There's a lot of types of people. Okay. 26. Tides. I'm and the rest. And some anomalies. They're in that group.

You're a typo. A mistake. That was so bitchy. And normally you're not the bitch. Surprisingly, Matt is. It felt so good to get you back. It's good. Kitty's got claws.

You lose it immediately by doing this. Oh, sorry, those are cobra fans. So. So he's freaking out. Scotland Yard, Charles Hill. Hill's on the case. They bring it in chill. And he says, there's a madness that affects these people.

They're not necessarily art lovers, but they view the works as trophies. So he's ready. He says, we came up with a plan. to pose as representatives of the J. Paul Getty Museum in California and tell these guys there's money to be had if they give us the picture back. So kind of like instead of the government paying them off to get their piece back, another gallery is paying it off. It's just, you know, so the, Paul was kind of like, yeah, that sounds legit.

Idiot. So Charles Hill went undercover becoming, this is a quote, a slightly dodgy mid-atlantic accented art dealer named Charlie Roberts. Mid-Atlantic, like the ocean. They have an accent out there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Be like, e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e.

Is that what we're thinking? Yeah, there's this guy coming to do an art deal with you and he sits down and goes, E-I-I-e-ha. And Paul's like, yeah, this is legit. This seems right. I mean, he's from America. So his minder was a colleague, also an undercover agent,

posing as an English gangster living in Amsterdam. So the two arrived in Norway and began to follow the chain. This is what he says. He says, what we did in this particular case was to go from a person who knew someone who knew someone else. And we just followed that chain until we met the people who controlled the painting. It was that easy. They're just like, hey, do you know who's got the painting?

you don't but a friend does can you introduce me to that friend hey do you know who's got this painting and they found it when I finally met the bad guys alright mate I'd convince them that the Getty Museum would pay to recover the painting

the Norwegian criminals were on tenderhooks and I spent the entire time trying to calm them down they're feeling a little stressed at this stage because they're like it's probably the cops but maybe it's not the cops but I don't know what I'm doing eventually they rang me quite late and said right we're going to do it it now. And I told them there was no way I was going out at midnight to walk into the wild woods

to get this thing back. We could do it in the morning. At a civilised time, please. So the next morning he travelled to a summer house of one of the thieves. The painting they told him was under the carpet in the kitchen hidden in a basement room. Okay, the weirdest thing here, carpet in the kitchen. Agreed. Maybe a rug, maybe a rug. Okay. But carpet in the kitchen is psychotic. So there is essentially had like a little trap door and they opened it up there were stairs going down and they went do you want to go down and get it and he said no i'm not going down there you'll lock me in there till next christmas fuck off you go get it and they did um so i'm not sure what their plan was if he did go down maybe they were just genuinely like oh please after you i don't

know but um anyway so they went and got the painting And they brought it up. It was wrapped in a blue sheet and they laid it on the dining table. And bang, there's the picture. That's from Charlie Hill. That's what he said. And bang, there's the picture. So this was in May of 1994.

So what did it sound like in his accent? Well, okay, here's the thing. In the doco, they're like, we thought he'd be good because he's American. And then he's interviewed and he's like, oh, hello. He's got like an English accent. And I'm like, I don't know if, what do you mean? But what's a transatlantic accent? bang there's the painting

thank you no professional training it's crazy did he shoot the painting and bang yeah it's the only way would a police officer do this and that's when I won him over

so after three months the scream had been found Yeah, they did. They found it. Yeah, you guys are really more on the side of Paul, aren't you? I am. You're like, yay, they found it. Whatever.

But Paul, he was quitely confident that he would get away with being attached to the crime. He wasn't part of this sort of handover. He'd gotten his friend to do it. He had handed the scream to his accomplice Bjorn. That's just a really common name. Wait five minutes, Matt has something to say. Yeah, that is a good. No, that is a good note.

We could all wait, really, couldn't we? Got anything to Beyond, Maddie? Sorry? So he'd handed it off to his friend and he was kind of like, I felt maybe I've had it long enough, said Enger. I was totally sure the police had no evidence against me, so the only one they could arrest was Bjorn. He's like a childhood best friend.

But he's like, if it is a sting, arrest Bjorn but he wasn't involved in the actual stealing of it so you know like maybe he'll be fine anyway child had they knew each other since they were Bjorn clap for this shit now look the old man's awake look at him going the pun master in work that was that a pun don't pretend you're a master you love him I'm more of a savant Punce upon. Just come so naturally for you. But sadly for you, Paul heads out in the crowd.

Enger's hopes for escaping prosecution were in vain. Four men were charged, including Paul Enger, who in 1996 was sentenced to six years and three months in prison. And at that time, that was Norway's longest ever sentence for theft. Wow. Six years of three months. But just a matter after six years how good of a criminal he'll be. Yeah.

Because, I mean, he's already done time and came out being like, like now I'm a freaking expert. I'm a mastermind. Imagine what he's going to do next. Insane. His accomplices, however, had their convictions overturned on a technicality.

Because the police involved had used false identities, their testimonies were invalid. Now, I didn't do a deep dive into Norwegian law. So any little plot holes you can point in that, I don't fucking care.

That's what multiple articles said, so we're going with it. Because otherwise, otherwise you're like, how does undercover ever work? Maybe they just don't do undercoverer. Oh, undercoverer. Yeah. It does feel like they should have realised that, though, don't you reckon? Yeah.

The whole operation was based on that. Yeah. And they didn't know that that would fuck it up. That's what I mean. There's got to be something more nuanced in there that I didn't care enough to research. That's what you get here at Tigger on. No, I couldn't be fucked. I've had weeks to write this.

I wrote it last night. But the good thing is Jess We have quite a few Norwegian listeners Who I'm sure will be in contact Yes And I'm sure my pronunciation Has been very good Nootberg

They're like fuck you You'll get a tweet that it says Your pronunciation was very good Noot God he's a master He's so good He's very good He's got a show in like 40 minutes

He's in hot form You're a real wall Sorry, was that address to me? Anyone coming to the show? Thank God. Don't lie, don't lie. Oh, the finger man's coming. Probably not in the front row with that one, hey?

Learned your lesson. No, me and Saran are very polite. These are the Kings of Sting, where... Yeah. That's us. So, Paul Enger, he was the only one convicted and the only one who was put behind bars.

Obviously, Jess, means the same fucking thing. Proof-read it, you idiot. Nice to get a little insight to the inner monologue every now and then. Dumb bitch, dumb bitch, dumb bitch. You're your money. Are you serious? Oh, she hates herself. I'm fucking on a stage.

Like, I do this for a living. And you've all paid. Oh, fuck off. You've been collecting money off these people. That's the first we're hearing of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've bought their silence. No, anyway.

I just want to finish. I'm so close. A little inside there. Shut up, I'm close. Shut up, don't fuck this up for me. I'm nearly there. I know how these shows are going to go. I'm having son and fun

We were backstage Matt and I were very mellow backstage I was a bit too relaxed You were yawning I was yawning a lot I was like this is gonna suck Man we too All right

Everything's fine Okay so anger was convicted He's behind bars He's behind bars The police Don't remind me The police believe he was one of the two men Who broke in that night

But he says that it was his plan It was enacted by two accomplices And honestly, he's so cocky and honest in interviews, I believe him. Why would he not design that too? He has owned the whole thing. He's like, yeah, it was mine and this is why I did it. And I'm the best crook there is. And it's like, okay, I think if it was him that broke in, he'd say so.

So I believe him on that. And so, oh, Knutberg's back. The scream is in good condition, Knutberg said, at a press conference announcing the masterpieces return. That can't be true. It was under a kitchen carpet. it. Well, there'd be milk stains. It's a cornflakes tread into it.

Well, it's actually crazy because they were very worried about the condition of the painting because the scream is painted on cardboard. Oh. It's on cardboard. That's wild. And so, like, in the documentary, a bunch of them are like, yeah, if that's, like, stored properly in an art gallery by people who know how to store all different types of artworks, it'll be fine. But if you get it wet or set it on fire, or accidentally recycle it.

Yeah, yeah. They went fucked. Yeah. It's on cardboard. But anyway, apparently it was in very good condition. It was fine. And Nuttberg also said, it's going to be hung at the National Museum as soon as possible, but this time in a spot that is less vulnerable to theft. That's good they learned a lesson there. I just quickly, you probably haven't noticed this, but there's a a few sickos in the crowd, every third word you're saying, they go, including hung, get it wet. Stuff like that.

And they're going, I think what you're picking up, Matt, is that I'm very funny. People enjoy my comedy. People keep making this strange noise whenever you talk. There it is again. What is that? Shush, she's trying to finish.

Shut up! So Paul Inga achieved the fame, or more accurately, notoriety that he had always craved. Perversely, he even wears his conviction for stealing the scream as a badge of honour. The one thing I like is nobody else was sentenced for it, and nobody else gets credit for it. It's my story.

Oh, my gosh. You serious? He's not right. He's now 55, he took up painting in prison. I was like, come on. He specialises in abstract art and signs his name P. Enger, which in Norwegian means money. This guy sucks.

In 2015, he was charged again, this time with stealing more than a dozen paintings from a gallery in Oslo. He said, I have never been anyone other than who I am now. I have nothing to fall back on, he said. The last time I was out, I just ended up stealing for a living. He was also a professional football player for quite some time.

Oh, yeah. And he's like, I've got nothing to fall back on. Coach soccer, what are you doing? I just, oh, get out of steal. I love that as an excuse, though. It's like, I'm just being who I am. Are you going to punish me for being my true self? I'm being authentic to myself.

Yeah. we are, you know, criticizing him. Strange man. A couple of things to note before I finish as well. Shut up. You start giving notes? Shut up. A little to the left.

Trying to think of a way that I didn't mean what I said. No, no, what? Okay, a couple of things to note. This wasn't the only time the scream was stolen. The 1910 version of the scream was stolen. in August of 2004 during daylight hours when masked gunmen entered the Monk Museum in Oslo and stole it, stole it and monks Madonna. So they sold two paintings.

But this time a bystander got a photo of the robbers as they escaped. Were they posing for it? Get a quick selfie on your way outcast, would you mind? Balaclava's still on though. They're not idiots. So but this, yeah, so they, it took much longer. So that was August of 2004. In April of 2005, Norwegian police arrested a suspect in connection with the theft,

but the paintings remained missing, and it was rumoured that they'd been burned by the thieves to destroy evidence. And they're on cardboard. It'd be so quick. The Monk Museum was closed for 10 months for a security overhaul. I mean, if you're in Oslo, and so is Paul. Just, yeah, security overhaul is probably a good idea. two years later both paintings were recovered but Norwegian police didn't disclose how the recovery

happened they were just like we got them back don't worry about it but they said we are 100% certain these are the originals the damage was much less than feared again they were really worried about the damage the scream had moisture damage on the lower left corner while madonna suffered several tears on the right side of the painting but they they before they repaired them so before repairs and restorations began, the paintings were put on public display by the Monk Museum during the five-day, so you could go and see them damaged, which is fun and cool. And apparently it is because 5,000 people went and viewed the damaged paintings in a five-day exhibition. They were like, wow, it's got slight water damage in the left. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Wow. to see it slowly damaged. And it is a very, very popular, and, you know, they were saying before, like, you can't, it's impossible to put a price on it. Well, a pastel version from 1895 sold in 2012 for a record 120 million US. Adjusted for inflation,

that's 247 million in Australian this year. Whoa. It's a few houses, yes. Oh, come on. It's like two houses, okay? Like two. Isn't that wild? And that's just, that's the pastel version.

That's one of the other versions. So probably the painting one would be even more valuable. The one that Paul stole was the original, so I would guess it would be even more. But it's, it's back, it's on display, one of the galleries in Norway, and it's fine for now. But that's great. You just put a $250 million piece of cardboard. Yes. Isn't that wild?

That's amazing. Cardboard When you put it like that They finally sunk in When I stare at you intently Cardboard Cardboard What they should do is just put them in someone's home

You know Like find his Fun monk's birth house Put him in there Called a museum home Paul's like fair's fair That's someone's home Okay

I wouldn't dare What is a museum if not a a painting's home. That's nice. That's nice. That's beautiful. That makes you think. But there you go.

That is my report on the theft of the scream. Fantastic report, Jess. That was great. Thanks. That was fun. My goodness. Yeah. It makes me want to go to Oslo and see this thing.

Oh, okay. I'd hurry. I'm not damaged anymore. Sorry. Oh, okay. I missed out of my opportunity. I'd hurry, because Paul's probably out of prison by now. Who knows?

Probably. that's good research you've done. The main character in the story is probably out of prison. I don't know. Anyway, that's it. Good night. To be fair, a lot of the, if you Google that guy, a lot of the resources are in Norwegian.

And I did not have time to learn. You said you had weeks. Yeah. And I didn't use them. We know. I did it yesterday. We know. I ruined a whole Saturday.

For you. Thank you. You're welcome. So, I mean, that's the end of the show. Do we need to tell anything to them? I just phrased that as well as a thieving is happening. Yeah. Do we need to tell them?

Oh, my God. We get it. We get it. What am I trying to say? Is there anything we need to tell them? Yeah, we need to tell. So you've got one more show at the Chinese Museum here in Melbourne, the city tonight. It's already sold out, so don't even bother.

Oh, okay, fantastic. But you're going to do more. But opening at the Grace Starling on Tuesday. for the final two weeks of the festival so we'd love to see there go along go along go to enemy territory it's where that's the pub that the callingwood football club was formed you're not selling it we have a bunch of a bunch of our friends are doing shows as well kirsty webeck oh you look at wearing kirsty's shirt she's smashing it yeah selling it every night so you should definitely go along beth portray us opens on tuesday she should go check her out she's got she's

an amazing writer. Her show's going to be so good. Miss Whitrip, okay, Big Wet, is closing her show tonight. People don't listen to Who Knew. I think that's weird. Yeah, her last show tonight, and it's like a 10 o'clock show, I think, or maybe 9 o'clock tonight. 9 o'clock, I think. So, yeah, go see some shows. Great, and last thing to plug, and that is, we have

our new web series. Do Go on the Quiz Show, is coming out tonight. So if you feel like you're going to go home after this, you'd be at home at 8 p.m. You can watch it live on stupid old channels at premieres, and then from then on, it'll be online forever. our guests are Josh Earl and Frankie McNair. It's a great episode. Yeah, it's really good. Check it out.

Great. Well, thank you so much for coming out. We'll be here next weekend. I imagine some of you would see the past as we'll be. Thank you so much for coming out. But until then we'll say thank you so much and goodbye. Thank you. And we're back in the room.

We're back in the room. Can you believe it? So much fun. That was such a fun show. I loved listening back to that just now. We sat here in silence and we listened to it. We were laughing at ourselves. And we kept saying good one.

Yeah. That was a good one. That was good. Remember when you said that thing? Somebody caught a photo of us. I think it was Paul Melo caught a photo of us. You're like, you're giving me a finger gun and I'm giving you a thumbs up. And I think that was sort of towards the end of the show as we were going, we nailed this.

We've done a good job here. It was great to see Paul, Aldham's favorite son who's in town with his family, celebrating the Big Five-O, his birthday, came to the Melbourne and came to the comedy festival. Great to see you there, Paul. Lenny in the front row that we met after the show. Lenny came from Alice Springs. From Alice Springs.

He's been listening for her whole teen years, which is crazy. It's so crazy. But yes, you're enthusiastic for the show. We involved you. Her dad was the one that we were finger-gunning in the front row. Sorry about that.

Sorry about that, Lenny's dad. But yeah, it's so lovely to get to meet a bunch of you from all over the world or all over Australia. Anyone else who did travel, we really, really appreciate it. My goodness. It's so it's amazing that people do that. Yeah. It's so cool.

And by the time we're recording Well, by the time this comes out We'll have done two more live shows And I reckon they'll be shit Because this one was so good Yeah You know, it's but you know, whatever I mean we turned up, we did our jobs

Exactly, hey, we spoke for an hour What else? What more do you want? That's what you paid a ticket To see somebody talk for an hour And we actually held off on releasing this one Because we didn't want to raise Raise everyone's expectations for the three shows after this

That's right Now there's only one more. And it'll probably be fine. It'll be fine. But we have a very important job to do right now, David. Yes, Matt is away at the moment. Because he's doing the full run at the Comedy Festival. He's resting his golden tonsils.

That's right. Yes. It takes a toll on the body. Be out there every night. He's doing 22 shows plus four live podcasts. It's a lot. So he's resting up, but we're going to do our best to handle this section of the show, which is typically his.

It's his baby. Exactly. We're babysitting right now. He pioneered this and we hope to do him justice. But I believe, Jess, that this section of the show, the fact quote a question section, usually starts with the jingle. Does it go something like this? Fact quote or question? Ding.

Ah, he always remembers the ding. She always remembers the jingle. This part of the show is, of course, are brought to you by everyone who supports the show on Patreon at patreon.com slash do go on pod. You sign up, you support the show. that's your first reward. Yeah. Knowing that we can keep going forever and ever and ever. Yeah.

That's your first reward. Charity work. Exactly. Philanthropy. But we give you back. We give you what we call prizes. That's right. Rewards.

Rewards. Little treats. Little treats where you can... You can join our Facebook group, which is a lovely place. That's how we know Paul. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? And then we see him in real life.

It's fantastic. It's so cool. It's very, very cool. You can also vote on topics. I believe this one was voted for by the Patreon. Absolutely. Yes. And suggested by...

by listeners as well. Exactly. You can get bonus episodes. We've got over 200 bonus episodes that we've recorded over the last many years. And you get instant access to those on the bonus level or above. And then you also get three new bonus ones every month. So the catalogue, it's growing. It's huge.

So yeah, absolutely. If it's something you would like to do, head over to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And if you are on the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe level or above, Exactly. You get to give yourself a title and you get to submit a fact, a quote, a question, a suggestion, a brag, a joke, a recipe. We're in sync. We're also hungry. We've ordered lunch.

We've ordered jaffles, spaghetti jaffles. We're so excited. And hot jam donuts. Oh my God, it's going to be the best day ever. And also has browns. Don't tell them out. We went crazy. We spent more than we usually do when there's three of us.

Anyway. I've got a juice as well. Oh, my God. I've had the best day ever. I'm so hungry. Never shop, we're hungry and never order lunch while hungry. And we've done that. So you only ever order lunch just after eating lunch.

That's the only way to do it. Only way to do it. And the perfect time to grocery shop is when you've got a full pantry at home. Exactly. I don't need any of this shit. I don't need anything. I don't need anything. Coffee, got it.

No thanks. Boat. I've already got 10 types of magnum. So I don't need any ice cream. Toilet paper, not for me, thanks. I don't use it. I don't use it. It's a scam.

The shower. I was right there. I take eight showers a day. Skin is very dry. You shitting eight times a day, did? Eight times. That's too much. Is that too much?

I think so. I think so. I'd have a word to a doctor. But anyway, let's get to today's fact quote or question is. Fantastic. And like Matt always says, he doesn't read them until he reads them. And I don't either. So that's just excusing any fumbles, any mispronunciations or anything crook,

somebody writes, and I read out loud. Our first fact-corder questioner this week is from Sophie Chuta, who we love so much. Sophie's giving us off the title, group mum, no matter what, now go get all the plates and glasses from your room and put them in the dishwasher. There's so many. There's going to be three trips, Mom. Mom. Sophie Chudor has an announcement.

Oh. I'm not sure if we've had announcements before. Love this. You're not looking for the column. Fantastic. No, no announcements. Sophie writes, hello overlords. Hello Sophie.

It's no secret that the last few months have been the worst of my life, but sprinkled through it, I've received cards and small parcels from other do-go-honours. Some that I know, some that I don't, and every single one of them has made me smile, and I want to share that feeling. So it's swap time. I'm calling this one, spread some joy, and anyone who signs up will send and receive a small package of love and happiness. Sign up at patreon.com slash dogo-odpod and join the Facebook group to swap with us,

the nicest corner of the internet. As always, thank you to you three for being a weekly pocket of laughter and fun. Sophie Chuter. Oh my goodness. You go above and beyond, Sophie. You're an absolute legend. Sophie is, for anybody not familiar, Sophie runs a lot of these kind of swaps or is always sort of the instigator of

these things in the Patreon group. There's been T-shirts. There's been snacks. There's been all sorts of cool stuff. Yeah, it's amazing. Really cool. So, lovely to have you in our little bubble. Sophie, you're the absolute best.

And really excited to see people's posts about it. about these lovely pockets of happiness. All over the world, they get these. It's amazing. So cool. So thank you, Sophie, for that announcement. Love it. Yeah, we welcome more announcers,

especially if they are that positive and nice. Yeah, really cute stuff. Not announcing, I'm going to war with my neighbour. Okay. I actually would like to hear that. Lola keep us updated. I felt bad about saying I'm going to war, so then I tried to like dampen it a little bit,

but then I made it juicy. Yeah, you made it more intriguing. Yeah. Our next fact-to-order question comes from. Nathan needs a username. Nathan's given themselves a title Super Nintendo Chalmers. And Nathan has a question. Hi, long-time listener, third-time caller.

I've recently realized I have a bad habit of booking more tickets than I need whenever I'm going to a concert or a comedy show, that I then have to attempt to give away to friends. Although my bank account is not particularly happy about this, I have had a lot of great experiences getting to introduce my friends to bands and comedians I love. A particular highlight during the last year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival when I convinced a handful of friends to come see Michelle Brazier

who are now all fans. Wow. Hell yeah. We have a treat for you next week. That's right. All the Braz fans. I mean, yeah, imagine being like, well, I'm not really sure. I don't know if I like comedy and she sings.

That's not my thing. And then you go see Michelle Brazier show and you're like, I'm stupid. That was the best thing I've ever seen my life. I've got to be honest with you. Truly, one of my best friends, it's exhausting because she's so talented. Yes, hard to keep up with. And then sometimes she goes like, oh, I'm just a bit nervous about something. What if I'm not good at it?

I'm like, shut the fuck up. You're good at everything. Shut up. You're going to be amazing. You're going to sell out. Everybody loves you. You're incredible. Shut up.

Anyway. When's this episode coming out? We're talking about this is coming out next week? Yeah. Well, if you are in the Melbourne area, you should definitely go along tomorrow night, I believe it is. Yes. At the time of recording, the Thursday night, to see Michelle Braise. She's doing one show only.

Yep. An album launch. Yes, at the Forum. The Forum Theatre, full band. She's recorded an album with her favorite tracks from her three live shows. I think there's 20 tracks she was telling us. Yeah, yeah. And you can, yeah, one night only, go see Michelle at what I believe is Melbourne's best music venue.

Oh, it's so good. The Forum Theatre is so fantastic. So beautiful. So, yeah, this is the Thursday, the 18th, 9.30pm. Definitely go along, get tickets at ComedyFestival.com.com. you and type in Michelle Brazier. It's just called album launch. You got to go. Do self for favour, please. Absolutely do yourself for favour. We'll be there. Nathan continues. Gets to the question. Says, my question is, have you ever dragged a friend

to a show they knew nothing about? Or has a friend ever dragged you to a show you knew nothing about and how did it go? Uh, yes. I can't think of specific examples. A couple of times. My friend Josh, who we used to live with, who's done some great editing work on our show in the past that you know, he is always up. If I need to invite someone to something, I'll invite Josh. He's just up for an experience. Yeah, that's living for me. Yeah, I've, I think we went to see.

I can't even remember the guy's name now. It does like UK documentaries and I got free tickets through the project because he was a guest on one night. And we went to see his sort of live show and that was really, really fun. Cool. What's his name? Ross Kemp. Oh, yeah.

You know, Ross Kemp. He does like documentaries like Ross Kemp on gangs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did a live show. And Josh and I went to that. And then I think I also, when I had an extra ticket to, see Father John Misty one time? Before I knew you were a big fan, Jess.

I was, no, I only became a fan because you posted on Facebook or on your Instagram story or something that you were seeing Father John Misty. And I kind of liked a snippet of the music that I heard. And then I went and listened to Father John Misty. Oh, there you go. You introduced me to him. Well, I'm pretty sure that I just had an extra ticket. I think it was Josh.

This is quite a few years ago now. We went along and, you know, he puts on a great show. So, yeah, Josh is my go-to. Hey, I've got an extra ticket for something. They're the best people You need one of them in your life I have a French I think to the point where you go

Hey I'm about to see the show on an hour Do you want to come? Oh yeah If he's in town I'm getting a yes from Josh That's rare and they are a special breed of person Because I'm not that person Yeah me too

I'm kind of like I need 40 hours notice And even then I feel like I'm being pretty spontaneous I'd have to put on pants I don't think so I'm not making it into the city in an hour I live 15 minutes for the city I can definitely make it

Yeah you need those people people and it's great. I don't know. I think I do it to my partner a lot because if there's a band I want to see, I think one thing about being in a long-term relationship is you have a go-to plus one. And so I'll sort of be like, hey, I bought tickets to this. And he goes, okay, and off we go. And he has a great time, wherever he goes. He has a great time doing anything. He's also a, okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, you could call him. You live with one. Yeah, it's pretty handy. I remember a couple of years ago My now wife and I

Anyway my wife and I went to We were going to get to see We both love Greg Larson Yes One of the absolute greats in my opinion Such a great comedian He was at the comedy festival And we went to see his show

And we brought along two of her friends Who'd never heard of him Didn't know anything about his act And we're kind of describing him We're like Oh he's he goes on a bit of a rant You know sometimes gets political But very very funny

Like he's just high energy but silly but also smart. Yeah. And then he comes out and he starts doing his show. And it was pretty measured, to be honest. And we were kind of like, oh, it's not what we described. Very funny, but like it was just the first five minutes were quite. Like, oh, okay, maybe he's just a bit quieter down.

He's not as angry. Yeah, yeah. And then about six or seven minutes in, he's ranting about KFC and yelling at the drive-thru, get back in your chicken hole. And they're laughing and loving, we're like, okay, it's what we described. This is what we came for. Perfect. He's done it again.

And it's hard. It's hard to recommend comedy shows for other people. Yes, because you know what they're going to get into, but they loved it. And then I think we're all going to go again to his show this year because they're fans. Yeah, this comedy festival, Aidan's mum was in town and she wanted to go see a comedy show, but it's hard. It is really hard to choose for other people, hard to choose for older people. And English isn't her first language.

So also you kind of need it to be someone like Greg, for example, or somebody who uses a lot of like specific Australian turns of phrases, she's going to get lost in it. Yes, you have to choose the show for her. That makes sense. I'm trying to sort of choose. I'm like, it needs to be like some classic stand-up of like set-up punchline, set-up punchline, set-up punchline, set-up punchline, went to see Lizzie who? Loved it.

Love it. Absolutely loved it. Awesome. I had a great time. Everybody had a good time. She thought she was fantastic. We nailed it. But yeah, it's hard.

So, I mean, Nathan, it seems like it has worked out quite well for you because you get to have all these great experiences introducing people to new bands and new bands and new bands and, it seems like, it seems like, it has it has you because you get to have all these great experiences introducing people to new bands and new comedians and that's pretty sick. Yeah, that's really nice. Yeah, it is. And then the next time that band's in town, you go together, they buy their own ticket. Yeah, that's nice like that. So your bank accounts, okay. Thanks, Nathan. The next one is from Tilly. And Tilly's title is friendly local footpath supervisor. Seriously, hurry the hell up is in brackets there. And Tilly's given us a fact and says, do you know that foals are born with slippers on? Sorry what?

It sounds cute, but if you Google fall slippers, they are these weird slash kind of gross tentacle-like shoes that cover the hooves. Oh my goodness, I'm doing it now. I don't think I want to see right before lunch. They protect the mother from the fall hooves. Oh, yeah, before and during birth and fall off after the foal is born.

That's my fact for the pod, but I have a small addition that is for your ears only golden trio. Matt, stop reading now if you haven't already. Jess, Dave, did he stop? Okay, good. Now that it's just the four of us, I just wanted to say, hey, do I read this? I don't know. Oh, my God.

I don't know. Is this off the record? I'm not sure. Do I keep reading? Maybe, and then we'll redact it if we need to. Okay, I'll keep reading. I just want to say, hey, thanks. You lot get together and make your dumb jokes and go on dog shit riffs, and it's a delight for

everyone who listens. But for me, especially in the last year, you lot have been. a godsend. Maybe I won't keep reading just because Tilly goes into some details that maybe they don't want read out. Great, because this is the thing. Like you said, you don't proofread it and we never know if someone's doing a bit. Are we ruining the bit by not reading it out?

Or it's just a genuine personal thing. Thank you. And Tilly, I'm sorry if you wanted me to read all this, but I'm just going to take an executive decision and redact some, you know, personal experience. Maybe err on the side of caution and Jess will read it. it to me as soon as we start recording. I promise you. But thank you so much, Tilly. You've looked up, I looked up, uh, foal slippers also referred to apparently, because I'm looking at photo on Reddit, golden slippers or fairy fingers. But they do look tentacle and a little

bit gross. Wow. I like fairy fingers better. Foll slippers is cute. False. I had no idea what Tilly was saying there. I thought that maybe as they're being born, like the farm hand or the vet or whatever that's assisting in the birth if they're there, slips on little booties little booties but no they're actually naturally occurring

but how clever is that to sort of protect the mother from these sharp little hard hooves nature nature fantastic am I right you're right

incredible stuff and finally for fact to a question we have Jacoby Austin the angel hello Jacoby

and great to hear from you again Jacoby is one of the people who I don't know if you remember on the first episode of our quiz show which is out now. A couple episodes are out. Please like, subscribe, watch it on YouTube,

on the stupid old channel and I made up an email in one of the rounds for Google. Of course, yes. I've had a couple of dozen people email that fake email because I said email me. Jacoby, one of them.

Good to hear from you again. Great. Well, Jacoby's title is Birthday Boy. So we'll see what this has started. I don't know what that could possibly mean. And Jacoby has a brag slash plea, which is interesting. I don't think we've had a plea before.

We definitely had brags. Bragg slash pre, but not please. Okay. So, Jacobi's brag slash. I just said pre, I meant plea. It's all right. I corrected you. Yeah, thank you.

Hello, Matt, Jess and Dave. It's almost my birthday, 14th of April. So it's, at the time of recording, it's in a few days. At the time this comes out, it was a couple of days ago. Congratulations. Happy birthday. I will be turning 25. Hopefully this fact, hopefully this fact,

to quote a question gets read out around that time. It has. Very close. Happy 25th. It's, it is so thoughtful that you guys knew and coordinated a Nick Mason special live episode to be recorded on that day as a present to me. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's on, it's on Sunday. You're all invited to my big birthday bash, of course, and May so too. It'll be here in Sacramento, California, the capital. I just added that because I was recently doing some, yeah, trivia on state capitals. So hopefully you can fly out and then be back to Melbourne in time for the show. Airfare not included.

Jokes aside, my brag is that I'm getting my first tattoo. Yes. Some small runes probably on my wrist in reference to my favourite book, The Hobbit. My plea is to Dave. Please cover The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings in the next season of bookcheap. I beg of you. I've just committed to doing June. Yeah.

So. The Lord of the Rings, those are big books. Yeah. You know, put those three together. They're quite long. They'd be long episodes apart. It would be like a three-part just for one book. Yeah, but the Hobbit is shorter.

Hobbit's doable. I eagerly await the new season. I'll see you all at the party. And until then, ta-ta and farewell. Tata and farewell. I wonder what. I wonder what. Thank you so much.

And happy birthday. Happy birthday. 25. The big 25. A good year for me. I'd do anything to be 25 again. Oh my goodness. What were we doing at 25?

We started this show at 25? Yeah. We started this show. Togobie. started comedy. Start your podcast. Just like I was 24, 25, just started. Wow.

Beautiful time. So young. I know. So much ahead of me. So thank you to Jacoby, Tilly, Nathan and Sophie. And the next thing we like to do is shout out to a few people on the ass prada above. I believe it's the ass prada above. But it's all laid out there on Patreon.

It is. It's nice incredible Patreon. We've named them all after after different things. is the arspros, the associate producer, there's the Rooknamar. Yes. Et cetera. Et cetera, et cetera. I could go on, but I won't.

Now, just you usually come up with a game. Yes. Based around the topic at hand, which is, of course, an art heist, the scream. Yeah. I was thinking what piece of art they've stolen. Oh, okay. Yeah. Good one.

Are we naming art or? As in real art or are we making up names for it? That's fun. You want to make up names for it? art? Great. Should I open up an art generator? Is there one? Nah. I mean, maybe, but I'll go the horse name generator and for inspiration. Okay. You bounce off that. I love the horse name generator, and I don't apologize for that. All right, great. Okay, so let's thank some people. Do you want me to go first? I'll kick it off. Please. All right. Maybe we do, do we go, let's go one for one.

Okay, and we always go for the horse name generator? Or if you just got art, if you've got a name for an art, go for it. Okay, I'll go for it. Okay, if you've got a name for an art, Jesus Christ, I did art in high school. I did art. But did you do English? No. So, first up, I would love to thank from Pittsburgh in New York in the US, Hap.

Hap. Great name. I like the name. I love the name. Hap. Okay, let's start with it. The horse name generator is going to inspire us. Great, okay, here we go.

Then I can. What's the name generator? Sonic. Sonic. What about Sonic? Sonic feels like an installation. Like you go into a space. Maybe it's dark.

There's speakers in the roof and the floor. Sonic Quiet. Sonic Quiet. And that's an installation. Wow. But it is difficult, obviously, to steal an installation. But if you can do it, bring it home and install it in your own basement. That's pretty cool.

How impressive is that? Haap, you've done it. That's pretty freaking cool. They didn't even really have security because they're like, what are you going to steal? Like this is a set. The installation? Come on. And they do.

They came in on Monday and they're like, oh my God. So I'd stole sound. It's an empty room. It's silent in here. All right. We'll go one for one. Yep. I would like to thank from Lynum in the ACT.

I'd like to thank Elizabeth Phillips. Elizabeth Phillips. Okay. Stole. Stole the Sticky tape Mona Lisa. Wow. Mona Lisa and it looks exactly like the portrait made entirely from sticky tape. Like sticky tape that's been coloured in?

No. It's just sticky tape. It's clear. But it looks exactly like when I said. How do they do it? It's an incredible artist. Wow. Obviously, you can't see it anymore because Elizabeth Phillips has stolen it.

I could just collect so much dust. Yes. But easy to steal. You sort of just put your hand on it and sort of attaches to it. Yeah. Sticks to you. Wow. Well, congrats on getting away with it.

Yeah. For now, Elizabeth Phillips. I would love to thank from DeLorene. Delorian. Delorraine. Delorraine? Deleine? I don't know. It's in Tasmania. I've never heard of it. I reckon somewhere in there we got that, right? Daniel Webb. Daniel Webb. Daniel Webb stole the... Is this from the generator? Yes. Sunlight Sudoku. Oh, wow. Yeah.

That also sounds installation like it's some sort of set up of skylights and it's a at a certain time of day, all the boxes get filled with the right numbers. Yeah, that's cool. But like, you know, for one minute a day. Yep. And now no minutes a day because Daniel's gone. Pretty cool. Good on you.

On you, Daniel. I would like to thank from Margate in Queensland. It's Lisa. Lisa. Looks like your last day might be with a G if you're wondering who you are. Just you just, we only read out what we are provided through Patreon. A couple of people have asked lately. Yeah.

Oh, you only said my first name. Yeah. Sorry, it's just, we just get a form that's generated saying all your details. Yeah. And that's obviously what you've used is your username, I believe. And sometimes, yeah, we can maybe tell because of your email, but we're not going to dox you. Yeah, exactly. Because some people don't want to.

Exactly. Some people only want your first name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lisa. Okay, let me think of an artist piece or an artistic piece.

I'm going to call it the ballet of the Dalmatians. Oh, my goodness. That sounds gorgeous. I'm imagining oil on wood. Yeah. Oh my goodness. No cardboard here. And a big beautiful gold frame.

It's huge. Like it takes up a full wall at the NGV. It's huge. And that's saying something because the NGV is fucking massive. Massive. Massive. Good luck stealing that. Oh, Lisa's done it.

Oh. It's kind of like a Degar piece mixed with those dogs playing poker. Yes. That's what I'm imagining. That's beautiful. Lisa. Well done. I would love to thank Amanda Lucas Patton.

It's a good name. Lucas Patton. That's good. Not all double barrels sing like that. No. That's a good one. Amanda Lucas Patton. Okay, we've got to go back to the horse name generator for an art.

Okay. And the name of, I keep saying artistic piece. I guess that's fine. Yeah, that's a thing, isn't it? I'm just going to refresh. See what else it's got for me? How about Rocky October? Oh, that's good.

Wow. That makes me think. Yeah, I'm imagining a lighthouse. And it's gray and, waves crashing over the rocks and stuff. That's nice. And is it a painting? Is it a photo?

What is it? It's a feeling. Yeah. You know what I mean? Rocky October. Oh, it's beautiful. Rock tober. Almost as good as Block tober, but not quite.

Not quite as good as Blockbuster Tober, of course, the full title. That's right. You want to thank someone? I would like to thank from Winslow. Also in Victoria, it's Rebecca Free. Rebecca Free. What a name. That is good, isn't it?

Rebecca Free is obviously the artist behind major wombat. And it's a portrait. You know how sometimes you can get portraits of your dog in like a uniform or in like a suit or something? It's a wombat wearing like a majors dress wear. So that's pretty cool. That is, that's good. I didn't even need to explain it. It makes complete sense.

You got it. You can imagine in your head. And now Rebecca Free's stolen it. So pretty good. Next, I would love to thank from New Farm in Queensland, Lisa Tarasenko. Oh, okay. What a name! What about self-portrait in...

Pastels. Pastels. Yeah. Okay, great. But it's obviously not Lisa's self-portrait. It's an artist self-wortrait that Lisa has stolen. Of course. Yeah, yeah.

Lisa's not the artist. She's the thief. Yeah. That's a type of art. If the audience was anything to go by for this episode, they love a thief. They really got on board with this thief. I was like, I don't know if I love or hate this guy, to be honest, but the audience, they loved him. Yeah, they really, really got behind him.

He's the kind of person that I could imagine something pops up. He's got a Google Alert on his own name, and he would listen back. 100%. And enjoy and maybe even right into the podcast to say, huh, you actually got this bit wrong or something. Yeah, yeah. And even if he's heard this bit, he'll still go, well, no, actually. I look forward to your email. Yeah, can't wait to hear from you, Paul.

Hope I said your name right, because it's spelled just like P-A-L, but with like, umlats, but then in all the, all the docos. They say Paul? It sounds like Paul. Okay, great. I think he's probably gotten over that then because everyone else has already misnamed him, if that's wrong. It's Paul.

What about it turned out that Lenny in the front row, who were referred to her father, was also there with a Swedish exchange student. And I know Sweden and Norway very different countries, but I was starting to question all of our sort of Nordic pronunciations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said it was very funny. And I said, because of how good it was, and she said, yes, I said correct answer. Did we say nutberg? Yeah, Nutberg was correct or no.

Is that offensive? I'm so sorry. So sorry. But it was very fun. It was a lot of fun. All right, a couple more people to thank. Okay, I would like to thank from Columbus, Ohio, which Matt would say is God's country. And we'd agree, Scott Alexander.

Some great names today. Yeah. S-A-F. Scott Alexander Foreman. Stole. Stature of David. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. V-1?

Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the one I saw was actually a fake? Yeah. Oh, my God. I did see a fake. Where?

Like out the front of the museum. There is one in the Gold Coast. Is it? Yeah, yeah, there is. No, so like out the front of the museum that David is in, there was a fake, there was another David. Oh, okay. So you saw that one and he didn't bother going on.

Well, because the museum was too expensive and we were backpackers. So we're like, we can't afford to go in there just to see David. And then we're like, oh, there's a David. Oh, there's David. That was it. What a trip. There you go. Also saw the Pope.

So, you know. The real Pope or the real Pope? The real Pope? Oh. He did look a little different. Who was your Pope then? Was it Francis or was this? Well, not my Pope.

Yeah. Yeah, Francis. He's still the current Pope. The current Pope. But he was brand spankan new. He'd been in for a few months at the time. It was 2013. Wow.

Yeah. Been around a while now. Crazy. Papa Francesco. We love you, I guess. And finally, I would love to thank from, oh, location unknown. Okay. We can only assume, deep within the fortress of the moles.

Okay. I would love to thank Matt. Matt. Our Matt? It could be. It could be. They haven't given much information. Matt, how about, okay.

We don't know where our Matt lives. How about I tell you this, Matt? He won't. Tell us. You've got a number in your email. Yes, you do. third. Third digit.

The digit. Is a digit. Is a digit. There you go. You know it's you. You know it's you. All right. I've fucked it up.

I also paused as you know how to say it. Yeah. The third character in your email is a digit. It's a number. Now you know. And it ends in a dot com. Just saying. Just saying.

Okay. Now you know, I've said too much. I've said too much. Oh, I've got one. Oh, Matt, from the horse name generator. What's he stolen? Midnight crescendo. Yes.

How good is that? That's good is that. This horse name generator is the best. saving it to my favorites. Midnight crescendo, that's like a, like, um, you know, midnight crescendo. I feel like it's a piece where it's all just one color, you know, like it's a big canvas. It's a beautiful indigo.

Yeah. When I was a kid one time, naming all the, uh, colors of the, of the rainbow, I once said bendigo. My teacher laughed at me and I felt embarrassed. Oh, really. But now I think about it, I'm like, that's just cute. That is so cute. Like, that's just a kid saying the wrong word slightly.

That's cute as shit. It's pretty funny, though. Yeah. I think they were in the rights to laugh. But to be like, ha, ha, good one. Yeah, yeah. He was like, ha, you mean Indigo? And now I guess it's funny because I said a town.

Is this the same teacher that just looked at you when you asked a question? No, no, this was a good primary school teacher. Okay. Mr. Lane. And I love him. He was a great teacher. Good on you, Mr. Lane. So thank you so much.

Sorry, I've changed tabs. Hang on. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm not good at this. Thank you so much to Matt, Scott, Lisa, Rebecca, Rebecca, Amanda. Lisa. Wow, two Laces.

Daniel, Elizabeth and Hap. On you, guys. We love you so much. And the final thing we need to do is welcome some people into the Triptitch Club. So it looks like we have three people to welcome in this week, Dave. Do you feel comfortable, confident? Yes, I'm warming up. Obviously, we've got jaffles on the way.

I know. Very exciting. Our food is here. So we're going to get through this quickly because I want to eat. But we still love you. The Trip Ditch Club, to explain, it's kind of like our clubhouse, our horse. our Hall of Fame, if you will, that you can live, work and play in. These people have been supporting the show on the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years.

Already had a little time on the sun a couple years back when we said thank you initially. But they've continued to support the show to enshrine them forever. We welcome them into our trip to club, which is like a theatre of the mind type thing. It's a clubhouse, a fun zone. There's food, there's drink, there's entertainment. It's just a lovely place. It's a beautiful place. Matt's usually lifting the velvet rope,

letting you in, I'm behind the bar. I've got a lot of Norwegian food this time. What do we got? I can't pronounce any of it. Oh, but it's very nice. Do you just point to it and go one of those? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, not my best system, but it's very nice, I'm sure. Great. Even if you knew how, if you had an attempt to pronounce it, it would be wrong anyway. It'd be offensive. Exactly. So it's just easier just to, they point and you go, this and they go, I guess. They say, I guess.

Yeah. Thank you, because they have manners. You usually book a band as well. You're never going to believe it. Oh my gosh. I've been trying to get this band for this because I'm a big fan. But I can't believe they finally said yes. Hitting the stage tonight, it's primal scream.

Whoa. Can you believe it? I can't. They're Norwegian. Scream. I was going to say the Beatles and they played Norwegian wood. Oh, that's pretty good too, but obviously the Beatles are maybe. Yeah, we can't get them.

Primal scream, that's good for the scream. Yeah, thank you. But also, obviously, it's coincidence. A pleasure to work through the process with you. All right. So I will play the role of Matt, except without his criticism. Thank God. Because that does nothing for anybody's creativity.

And I will hype you up as well. So I'm going to read out of the name. Dave's going to hype you up. We're going to welcome you into the club. Everybody's around. We're cheering and we're clapping. We're having a good time. We're cheesing.

We're ready. We're excited. Yes. So first person we'd like to welcome into the Triptitch Club from Gravenhag in, I'm assuming, the Netherlands. Oh my goodness, Gravenhag. Tim Van Rossum. From Gravenhag, Grava Bevy.

Yes. I was going to say before I heard that, Tim Van Rossum, more like Tim the man, Rossum. Come on down. That's good stuff. Yes.

From Alexandria, I would love to welcome in Sean Parfari. Sean Parfrey, more than Parfari the course. Yes, par for the course. But better than that. Yes.

I'm talking an E-Core. whole in one with Sean Parfrey. And finally, from Sunnybank, Queensland, Logan Husky. They ain't no Bogan Husky? It's Logan Husky. Woo-woo. My world feels sunny bank when you're around. That's nice.

You're from Sunny Bank. That's very nice. You've done it. Thank you. Logan, Sean and Tim. Welcome into the Shrip Titch Club. Please grab a drink, point at a food you would like. And get ready for primal scream.

Yeah, move on up. All right. Um, is there anything that we need to say before we get on out of here and eat our jaffles? Oh my God, I'm so excited for this, for our feast. We're going to feel sick for the next recording. Don't tell you. Oh, my God. You're going to be so bad at us.

I'm going to be listening. Yeah, I'm not listening. Yeah, not this far. Yeah. Yeah, thank you so much for coming out to the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Our quiz show, do go on the quiz show, is online. Yes. More episodes are coming out every Sunday night at 8 o'clock Melbourne time.

We're premiering them every Sunday in April and May, 24. So at the time of recording, we've only premiered one, but there's another one out now. And people are in the comments. We're having a great time. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. And people have been really enjoying it. So definitely go and check it out.

It would mean a lot to us. Yeah, really? Exactly. Share it around with your friends. We only get to make more, which we hope we do, if people watch it. That's right. That's the simplest way to sum it up. So if you like it, share it around.

We'll get some more eyeballs on it. We really appreciate that. But apart from that, I guess that's it. Yeah. You know, you can get in contact with this. on social media at do go on pod. Do go on pod.com. Yep, that's our website.

All of our info about shows and all sorts of stuff is up there. And you can suggest a topic there as well. Or there's a link in the show notes. So if you come across a story that you think, hey, that would be a fun episode of the podcast. Send it our way. That's where we get pretty much all of our ideas. Exactly. And we love it.

We outsource that part to you. Yeah. Sorry. Hey, we'll be back with another episode next week. But until then, also thank you so much for listening. And goodbye. Later. Bye.

That's my Jess impression. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram,

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