Do Go On - 444 - The History of Guide Dogs
Episode Date: April 24, 2024We're joined by Guide Dogs Ambassador (and great friend of the show) Michelle Brasier to tell us all about the history of Guide Dogs.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximatel...y 15:22 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everybody, Matt, Jess and Dave here.
Sorry Jess, just butting in quickly to let the listeners know that I'm going to be in Sydney
this week coming up the 8th to the 12th of May and you can get tickets now via
MattShillComedy.com. Then going straight to Brisbane on the 16th to the 19th.
So tickets for my show Dryer Dryer in Sydney in Melbourne.
Sorry Matt, I'll just cut you off there. I just need to tell everyone that our quiz show,
our web series is out right now. Do go on the quiz show. You can see it on Stupid Old Channel for free on YouTube.
Type in, do go on the quiz show and you can see three episodes right now covering topics
like Google, Queen Victoria, the Olympics, and we've got five more episodes coming up.
So like and subscribe, whatever that means.
They are big topics too. And I said Sydney and Melbourne, I meant Sydney and Brisbane.
Anyway, let's get on with the show.
I'm still here too.
Oh, hey Jess. I make warriors. Knuckles, now streaming only on Paramount+. Yes!
Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.
My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins.
Hello Jess.
Hello David.
Good to see you.
Oh my gosh, very formal.
After all these years.
Yeah, finally back together at last and we are back together with a special guest this
week.
Friend of the show.
Friend of us in real life.
Yes.
One of our absolute favorites, Michelle Braziers here.
Hello. I'm so glad we got back together as a throuple.
Those are some of the worst years of my life.
I missed you all so much.
I wrote a screenplay about it.
Yeah.
It's called Anatomy of My Best Friends.
Yep.
Anatomy of My Best Friends.
Of My Best Friends.
Sorry, yes.
Yeah.
They tried to get you to take that typo out.
You said absolutely not.
Yeah, it's got a dog in it. Yeah. They tried to get you to take that typo out. You said, absolutely not. Yeah.
It's got a dog in it.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
Thank you.
I hope you want to sing that at Cannes sometime.
Yeah.
Very soon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've come in with a really like mellow energy.
What are you guys doing?
There we go.
Do you want that?
Is that better?
Energy?
What are you doing?
Jessi started with, hello, good day.
Yeah, sorry.
Hello. Hello. Michelle, you started with hello, good day. Yeah, sorry. Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Michelle, you are the busiest person I know.
It's honestly mind blowing.
It's too much for me.
You got off a plane 48 hours ago.
Yes, I did.
So you've come directed from Broadway.
Yes, I did.
I had my little off-Broadway run and I did a show at dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles
Oh my gosh the city of angels. I've heard of it. Angel was filmed there. Really? Angel. Is that why they call it that?
Yeah, that's why they call it that. Oh my gosh. Angel from Buffy. That's why. I never got it. I never got it either
That's why. I hear Los Angeles and I think city of angels because other people have said that. Yeah
It's because of Angel. The classic 90s 2000 TV show.
So they've been off series.
They call Chicago the Windy City.
Did they film The Wind there?
Oh, yes.
Wow.
That's Gone With The Wind.
They did Gone With The Wind there.
Starting to make sense now.
Yeah, I guess.
I've never put this together.
I just accept information as it comes in.
I never question it.
I question everything.
You should.
Yeah.
You should.
So as well as your fantastic US shows, you're about to launch your album. Yes. Fantastic.
Which by the time this comes out people will be able to stream, is that correct? Yes. You can go
to whatever song you love the most and you put it on repeat. Yep. And you repeat it and repeat it
and repeat it all night while you sleep. Yep. And, and I think it's still counts if the volumes off the computer.
Can't tell if you're there.
Yeah, I don't know that.
And, and, and so I think go do that.
Go do that.
Just stream, stream, stream, stream.
Yeah.
I don't think that's unreasonable.
What's the album called?
Stream, stream, stream trilogy, mixed tape.
It's a mixed tape of all my songs from all my last three shows, because I didn't
get around to doing an album for each and everyone was very upset with me.
And so I said, okay, well, I will do them all and I will do
them in three days. Oh right so this is George Harrison style you've come out
just been like here's a triple album yeah you go whatever, have all the music. I think there's like
20 tracks. That's amazing. It's too many. We've had a little preview here because you've
been doing some of the the mixing here Stupid Old Studios, is that correct?
Yeah.
Yes.
We've been walking past the vocal booth.
Oh, have you?
And hearing the powerful voice.
Yeah.
The Dolcetone.
It's not soundproof.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's an issue.
Same with this studio.
Like, I thought this was quite soundproof because it does dampen the sound in here.
You can't hear outside.
Yeah.
But sometimes I walk past and I can hear full conversations that are happening in here.
Oh, good.
So it's not soundproof.
Yeah.
I've walked past and I've heard Jess fart in here.
Whoa.
Yeah.
But I am a very loud fatter.
I am the loudest fatter.
Really?
Yeah, I'm the loudest one.
Like, I love it when Tim has to get up earlier than me so that I can just do my farts.
Yeah.
Because they're too loud to do with another person
present. It's not appropriate. It's not like a fart noise. It's like,
yeah, like it's like I've got, I don't know what's going on. You have a laughing anus.
I've got, I don't know what's going on. You have a laughing anus.
I do.
That's the medical term, yes.
I have like quite, like I got quite a fashionable ass, right?
Sure.
It's quite big, which is in at the time.
Yep.
At the time of recording, big butts were in.
Thank God, because when I grew up.
What are you talking about?
We were like, hey, hey, asses now.
And have I got the ass for you?
That's what people liked when we were growing up.
Everyone wanted to just know ass,
like just full, just like, fluh, at the point of ass.
Whereas I was always like, wah, at the point of ass.
And that's what my farts sound like.
I think because there's so much ass to get through,
the sound has to travel.
Like, you know, like if you, like like things echo in the, in a valley,
like I give you a between mountains.
You were to sing.
Yeah.
It would just sound really.
Why am I talking about this?
Yeah.
Especially because you have so many other things that you have to plug because
you're so busy.
But we detoured to talk about your fart.
But I was sleeping on the plane and I woke up and I smelled farts and I was like, oh
my god, that's my fart.
I was like, they're all going to know.
No, you can't hear about a plane.
That's what I think.
No matter how loud, I reckon you can't hear him on a plane.
I reckon you could. You can?
I mean, the jet engine's only so loud.
Oh, what a joy.
I've got a reflection, maybe we were hearing your fart noises when we were walking past the vocal booth?
Yeah, especially if they said like,
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH not a burper. Not a burper. Not a burper. Not a burper. Not a burper. Not a burper either. Wow, when we're all in green. Guys, let's let's let up. We have so many things in common. Thank God've got back together. Where have you been?
And I drink a fair bit of fizzy.
Really?
I love some fizz.
Yeah, you know some people can just like do a burp on cue.
No.
That's so crazy.
Isn't that crazy?
I dream of that.
But I can fart on cue.
We know.
Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
You gonna try and fart?
No, I'm not gonna try and fart.
Oh my god, that's gotta be amazing.
I was for once in my life, that's going to be amazing.
I was for once in my life trying to get us back on track.
What?
That's what I was trying to do.
No, don't.
I always write a short report.
I mean, historically, that's not true.
Okay, well forget the report.
We have to say that's the album people can stream it now.
Yes.
But you're also doing a very, very big tour of the United Kingdom coming up in May.
And Ireland.
Yes.
And Ireland, oh my goodness.
Yes.
And that's coming up next month in May at the time of recording, so very soon.
Yes, May and June.
Yes.
Where are you going?
You're going all over, aren't you?
I'm going all over.
I'm going to places like Norwich.
Wow.
There's other places too.
But Norwich is on there.
I'm going to Belfast, I'm going to Dublin, I'm going to Manchester, Bath, Cardiff, I
get to go to Wales.
Amazing.
Awesome.
Glasgow, fucking love Scotland, famously adore Scotland.
I'm not going to Edinburgh on this tour, but I am coming back for Fringe with a brand new
show.
So don't be jealous.
Don't be jealous baby.
You get a whole new show.
Don't stress.
You get a whole new show for a month and everyone else is seeing the show that you already saw
in August, okay?
So love yourself and respect yourself.
Edinburgh, you're my favourite city.
And you also have a book coming out.
Oh yes.
Oh my gosh.
You're tackling all forms of media.
Yeah.
And I love that.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, the book comes out in September.
You can pre-order it right now from the internet.
Isn't that crazy?
What's the title of the book?
My brother's ashes are in a sandwich bag.
Which is true.
It's true. That's where they are.
That is a fact.
What are you going to do? Come to my house and prove me wrong? I don't think so.
I'm going to come to your house. I'm going to look at them and say-
Do you want to have a look?
Yeah, right.
It's crazy. Have you seen ashes?
I don't know if I have.
What do you think ashes would look like?
I imagine them, or maybe I've seen our friend's dog's ashes.
Oh, Raph.
Yeah.
Raph is the dog.
We've seen Raph's ashes.
Yeah.
Have you seen Bruce's ashes?
No, I don't think so.
No, he died during COVID, so he wouldn't have.
I haven't, yeah, I haven't seen.
So we didn't have the ash viewing.
No.
This is customary in Melbourne.
I didn't get the closure I needed.
No, but I did have a funeral for him.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, and a little funeral.
I said, well, I'm going to go and get the funeral.
I'm going to go and get the funeral. I'm going to go and get the funeral. I'm going to go and get the funeral. I'm going to go and get his customary Melbourne. And I didn't get the closure I needed.
No, but I did have a funeral for him.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, and a little funeral.
I said, we can have, oh, there's my dog.
Yeah.
Shaking, going, I'm still here.
Yeah, stop talking about the other one.
Please stop talking about him.
I've had enough.
He was a very jealous dog.
Yes.
So a lot happening for Michelle Brazier.
A lot happening, and I imagine that all these links are correlated on your website. Yes, you can go to my website, you can go to my Instagram and click
on one of those link in bios. I'm trying to start a newsletter. Oh yeah. That'd be helpful honestly
because I can't keep up with you. I see you twice a week, I can't keep up with what you're doing.
It's too much. Yeah, it's true. Very exciting. We cannot recommend enough going to see you live.
Thank you. You're the enough going to see you live.
Thank you.
You're the best in the biz.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Absolutely.
Knock the socks off the United Kingdom, Ireland.
Thank you.
Please, go along.
Oh yeah, come along.
Come and show me all the stuff.
Yeah, show me stuff.
In your town.
I want to see as much as I can.
And if you think I'm not coming near you, I am.
There's so many people who have been like, oh, I can't come, I'm busy.
And I've been like, every city is one hour away from you go to a different one.
And then some, some people, and I've said that to people in my TMS and some people
have been like, Oh yeah, I'll book for the next night in blah, blah, blah.
Cause they don't realize that you're going to all the different cities.
They just think you're going to one, which is absolutely fair.
It's confusing.
The messaging is hard.
It's hard to, yeah.
Two is a hard, but.
Two is a hard, but my God, it's a hard job we do. It's is hard. It's hard to, yeah. Two is a hard. But. Two is a hard.
But what fun.
Oh my god, it's a hard job we do.
It's really hard.
Oh god.
My high school best friend is a police officer and I often say a bad day at work for me is
very different to a bad day at work for her.
My day is like, our Uber Eats took way longer than it said that the company paid for.
And hers is like, I saw multiple dead bodies today.
And I'm like, okay, well, we've all got stuff going on.
We all have stuff going on.
I farted on the plane.
Chill out.
Okay.
Our job's hard too.
Yeah.
Okay.
We have a tough time.
And all jobs are equally important.
All jobs are equally important.
Exactly. Doctors, nurses are equally important. All jobs are equal.
Exactly.
Doctors, nurses, comedians.
Exactly. We're on the same level.
We're on the same level.
And we're paid the same.
We're telling stories and we get paid the same.
And all of us get underpaid.
All of us.
If I can be honest.
All of us.
All of us deserve more.
Especially surgeons.
Give them more.
Give them some more.
Two Maseratis.
Two Maseratis.
One's not enough.
One Maserati. Two Maseratis. Two Maseratis. One's not enough.
One Maserati.
Two Maseratis.
Three Maseratis.
Do you want the person cutting you open to only have one Maserati?
Oh my god.
Because they're due to come in and cut you open.
The Maseratis being worked on in the workshop, they don't have a second car.
They got no car.
But if they have a second Maserati, they equally, they quickly jump in the second car.
And they can get.
They get to you quick. Exactly. And they cut you open and make you feel better.
That's what I want.
I want to be cut open and feel better.
Quickly.
Feel better quickly.
That's right.
Maserati.
We are not sponsored by Maserati.
I've got the sillies.
That's okay.
Great.
Let's keep that going.
Hold that thought while Jess explains what the show is.
Yes.
Okay.
So this show, if this is your first time joining us, oh my goodness, welcome.
And I'll be so surprised if you've made it 12 minutes as to us talking farts.
But what we do is-
That could be the subtitle of the show.
Yeah.
There's three of us.
Matt is away sick.
He hates fart chat.
So he would have hated all of that.
We can only have fun fart chat without Matt.
And one of the three of us goes away, we research a topic, we bring it back to the others, we tell them all about it in a fun sort of school like report.
And the other two listen very politely.
They never interrupt with dogshit riffs.
Or farts.
Or farts or any kind of jokes or fun.
And Michelle has so kindly written a report for us.
Which is amazing considering how busy you are.
So thank you so much.
Thank you.
We believe you wrote most of this on the plane in between farts.
In between farts, yeah.
Sometimes whilst farting.
Yeah, and that's multitasking.
That's women.
Women can do anything.
Here's the thing too.
Here's the thing, right?
Michelle, one of my best friends in the world.
I see her multiple times a week.
I live so close.
I love her so much.
Our lives at the moment could not be more different.
She's doing so much.
I'm doing so little.
I lost the last two days.
I don't know what I did.
I didn't do anything the last two days.
I had, I had things.
I was like, Oh, I'll do that.
I didn't do it.
Did you leave the house?
Uh, we went for a walk.
We went for a walk.
Okay.
You're getting stuff done.
We went for a walk at midday.
I did nothing else either side of that.
I showered after it.
Good girl.
I just, I'm doing nothing.
You don't have to do as much as I do.
It's nice.
People keep looking at me in the eyes and sort of holding my shoulders and saying, when
will you have a holiday?
Really?
Yeah.
And I go, oh is it?
And they stop me again.
No, no, no.
Really?
Yeah.
So I don't think I'm living well, you know?
Well. I'm living fast and furious. Yeah. So I don't think I'm living well, you know? Well.
I'm living fast and furious and that's what leads us to today's topic.
Well, we do usually start with a question.
Do you have a question for us?
Yes.
Okay, great.
My question for you is what animal has the highest employment rate?
Pigeon.
Oh, okay.
Carrier pigeons, you know? Carrier pigeons. They were useful in the war. Are we talking now or? has the highest employment rate. Oh, pigeon. Oh, OK.
Carrier pigeons, you know.
Carrier pigeons.
They were useful in the war.
Are we talking now or?
Right now.
OK, all right.
Historically, was that sucking octopus Paul
that could predict World Cup sucker results?
Was he getting paid?
Oh, I see, I think it counts.
Intern Paul.
Hmm.
Is it, is one of them in the room with us now?
One of them's in the room with us right now.
Humans.
Is it?
The most beautiful animal of all.
Technically, yes.
It is humans.
The most dangerous animal.
Second most, dogs.
Dogs!
Doggies!
Dogs with jobs!
Yes!
Are we talking about dogs with jobs?
Dogs with jobs!
Specifically, we are talking about guide dogs.
Oh, yes!
Oh, yes!
Something you're very passionate about.
I'm very passionate.
I am an ambassador for Guide Dogs Australia,
which means that if I get anything wrong today, I'll be sacrificed.
Yeah. They'll be mad at me.
No, they won't be mad at me.
They're very nice to me.
But I am very passionate about this cause.
I love guide dogs.
I think they're they do amazing work.
And I want to tell you all about it.
Oh, my God. Yes, please. In the form of a song. OK love guide dogs. I think they do amazing work. And I want to tell you all about it. Oh my God. Yes, please.
In the form of a song.
Okay, that tracks. Yeah.
I would be interested to know who first thought, you know what,
maybe a dog could help with this.
That's a great question. You know? Yeah.
Who thought of that? Who thought of that?
And did they try other animals first?
OK, so imagine a guide cat.
Cats are so indifferent to people. They'd be like, I don't care if you walk into traffic.
People have tried guide cats. People have tried lots of alternate. We'll get to that.
Oh, fantastic. Jumping ahead.
Let me begin reading from the PDF that I typed up after copy and pasting and then changing some of the wording from some stuff.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
That's basically what we do. Thank you so much.
I'm just joking.
This all came from the heart and head and brain and mind.
Dogs entering the workplace these days have a huge amount of career options.
We have search and rescue dogs.
Do you know how search and rescue dogs work, by the way?
I looked into this.
So search and rescue dogs, essentially, you know how you play like fetch with your dog
and like find it with your dog?
It's just that but
on crack. Like it's just they get really well trained at like going up ladders and like
navigating an avalanche but they also are essentially just playing find it.
Oh, like it's all just your dog could do it.
Do they think it's a game do you think?
They think it's a game because they get rewarded at the end. They go find the thing. They're
not like, I'm going to save this life. They're like, I'm going to find this guy and then
I get snack. Thank you for saying you reckon my dog could do it, but sometimes he can't find a
trait that's between his two front paws.
Yeah, that is true.
So I don't think he could.
I don't think he's got the snoz on him.
Yeah.
Time to play search and rescue.
Yeah.
You've got to search for the trait, rescue the trait and then eat the treat.
Can't do it.
And eat.
His favorite game is where's daddy?
And sometimes he cannot find daddy.
So I don't know about that.
All right.
Well, that's fine.
There's obviously dogs who protect and herd farm animals, which you will have seen on the farms.
On muster dogs. Fantastic program.
Muster dogs. Fantastic program.
Dog actors like in John Wick.
Oh, yeah.
Just to try. Beautiful dog actors. It was just a dog actor. It's
fine. The dog's fine. The dog's fine. Yeah. But perhaps most of our most beloved dogs
with jobs in our society are our seeing eye dogs and guide dogs. And as I said before,
I'm an ambassador for guide dogs Australia. So a lot of this will be, you know, the way
we work at guide dogs Victoria and there's lots of different ways to work with dogs,
but in general guide dogs all over the world work in a really similar way.
So you were saying whose idea was this?
Yeah, who thought of this?
Okay, so we actually don't know.
Wow.
It's a secret. And I'm not allowed to tell you, but I think it was Dua Lipa.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Now, the oldest on record, the oldest record of people working with dogs to lead them is
a fresco recovered from Pompeii.
Oh wow.
In the year I think 79.
It shows, there's a fresco that shows a man who's supposedly blind being led by his dog
on a leash and he also has a cane.
This is according to the International Guide Dogs Federation website.
It is, listen, Pompeii wasn't that well preserved.
It's possible that the man wasn't blind.
Like he looked blind.
It looked like he was being depicted as blind.
We couldn't ask him something happened in Pompeii, apparently.
Otherwise he'd be here with us today.
Yeah.
But it looks like that is the first recorded time,
which is really, really magnificent.
Yeah, wow.
In the Metropolitan Museum,
there is a 13th century Chinese scroll called
Spring on the Yellow River and it depicts a park scene including a blind man using a cane and being
led by a dog. This is the thing we see all the time, like people holding canes and also dogs.
There's a ballad from 1715 called The Blind Beggar of Bethnal Green, fabulous market,
fabulous weekend market there at the park. It's a song about a knight who lost his sight in battle, became a beggar,
and his friends give him a dog on a lead to help him.
So there's a bunch of these appearances throughout history,
almost always with the cane and the dog, which, you know, I'm saying cane
because we use the white cane today, but it's, you know, usually just,
I guess, a stick.
What is a cane if not a stick?
What is a cane if not a stick? What is a cane if not a stick? What
is a stick if not a cane? Yeah. That's exactly right. They are different. Hello, I'm Michael
Stick. I'm Michael Stick. Dave, that's good stuff. That is good stuff. Sometimes you just say some
words and you hope that something will come out. And more often than not, it does. It does.
Will come out. And more often than not, it does.
It does. You know, it really does. Yeah, that's very beautiful.
Thank you.
In 1819, the earliest surviving description of a systematic method of training
guide dogs. So this could be your answer, Jess, was published by Dr.
Johan or Johan Wilhelm Klein in Vienna.
Klein became the director of the Institute for the Education of the Blind in
Vienna. His book describes a method of training the dogs with a stick attached to the collar
and held in the left hand. So dogs still, guide dogs will be held on the left hand.
And so this is the first time we see the stick sort of had a crossbar so that it would inform
the person they could sort of feel if the guide dog was leading them left or right.
And if they were trying to navigate around things, which is kind of a crude version of would inform the person they could sort of feel if the guide dog was leading them left or right. Right.
And if they were trying to navigate around things, which is kind of a crude version of
the harness that we see today.
Yeah.
And this is the first time that we didn't see them also having the stick.
So no leash, no stick, just the actual harness that's sort of fashioned.
And this is the first time recorded that we saw that, which is very exciting.
And you might think, okay, cool.
This is the beginning of the modern harness and then putting their full faith in the dog.
No, absolutely not.
This didn't take off and we didn't see this design again for about a hundred years.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
So ahead of his time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shame.
No one believed him, I guess, or they didn't think about it very much.
Do you reckon they always put the dog on the left because most people are
predominantly right handed?
So it leaves your dominant hand free?
I think it might be that.
Yeah.
As a left-hander, that's upsetting.
Yeah.
So you're not allowed to swap.
They're all trained the dogs to be on the left.
Well, I mean, you can sort of adapt your dog, especially once your dog is, once a
dog is paired with a handler, there's a lot of different things that the dogs act
differently for their handler, but there's just kind of this basic training that they all have that,
but you know, they're very adaptable, which they're customizable. They're fully customizable
color. Like a bath stall. Yeah. Like a bath stall. You can change their hair. Yes, well, sometimes. Yeah. In 1847, a man called Jacob Birer, who's a blind man from, he was a Swiss, he was a
Swiss, he was a Swiss man, published a book, and I can't pronounce the name of the book,
but it was translated as Strange Memories and Strange Life Journeys of a Blind Man About
His Five Years, of a blind man about his five years with a dog that he trained himself to lead
him, which was pretty cool. So there's like all these, um, all these little things I couldn't
find. I didn't read the book, obviously I couldn't find a translation. Um, but I don't
know how he trained the dog. He, his ideas were also not developed any further. There's
a lot of like just independent developing of dogs as guides in completely
different ways. Guide dogs are mentioned in Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.
Did you know that? No. Yeah.
OK, so there's a quote that says even the blind man's dogs appeared to know him
when they saw him coming, would tug their owners into doorways and upcourts, then
wag their tails as though they said no eye at all is better than an evil eye
dark master. So sure.
Wow.
That I haven't read a Christmas Carol.
I have my book cheat, but I didn't remember that part at all.
I've seen the Muppet version.
So I've seen the Muppet version.
With Michael Stick.
With Michael Stick.
With Michael Stick.
One of his best performances.
One of his absolute best.
And also may I say one of Kermit the Frog's best performances.
Oscar worthy.
Oh my goodness.
Absolutely robbed.
What? Cause he's a puppet. Discation. Get out of it. Unbelievable.
Get out of it. I'm just going to keep going through the history and then we'll get to how they go.
Go for it. I don't know, one question is,
do you guys still refer to or think of their master as Dark Master?
No. No. Famously no.
Okay. You don't know that though.
Well, I've asked a few. Oh, okay.
Okay, because it just sounds, I like, it just sounds a little bit evil,
which I like, hello, Dark Master. Yeah, it's know that though. Well I've asked a few. Oh okay. I like that it just sounds a little bit evil which I like.
Hello dark master.
Yeah.
It's pretty full on.
It's pretty full on.
I have um, I have canvassed the neighbourhood though and most of them are just calling them
you know their names.
Oh okay.
First name basis now.
Yeah.
There's a lot more formal and evil back there.
Lot more formal.
In the 1850s.
We were trying to tell Goose our names the other day.
Were you?
Yeah because we were like he doesn't, he doesn't know our names.
So did, what did you do?
Did you go Jess?
I was just pointing to myself going, Jess, I'm Jess.
And he was just looking at me and Jess.
And then I pointed at Aiden and said, Aiden, Aiden.
So we're getting there.
I think that's how you show babies probably.
Sure.
And that's the same.
What's a dog if not a baby?
What is a dog if not a baby? What is a dog if not a baby?
I've been staring at my baby lately going, Dave.
Dave.
Has not caught on.
I wonder if they ever tried guide babies.
Guide babies.
Guide babies.
Yeah.
That'd be good.
I could give it a shot.
You should try it.
I'll ask guide dogs if they'll give you a harness.
I don't think they'll say yes, but I can ask.
It's worth a try.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. They've got them for the little puppies. I'm sure they'll fit. They do. I don't think they'll say yes, but I can ask. It's worth the choice of the question. Yeah, yeah.
They've got them for the little puppies. I'm sure they'll fit.
They do have them. That's the thing. There you go. Puppy baby, similar?
It's the same thing. Famously. In 1927, George and Dorothy Eustis,
who were selectively breeding German shepherd dogs in their fortunate fields, kennels in Switzerland,
breeding German shepherd dogs in their fortunate fields, kennels in Switzerland, um, visited this school and, and they saw these, these little dogs doing their things.
So Dorothy, and they were very, very impressed.
Um, and Dorothy wrote to an American newspaper with her account of the visit of watching
these dogs that were being trained.
Um, this is published in 1927 and this is kind of the time when people are starting
to talk about guide dogs as a, it's kind of coming into the, into the world as like, Oh wow, these dogs are very special.
Many letters flooded back from, from the U S one in particular letter from Morris Frank,
who really wanted a dog and asked these guys, can you please get me a little dog?
Not a little dog.
He didn't care about the size, but he just wants a dog.
He just wants a dog. Not a little dog, he didn't care about the size. But he just wants a dog. He just wants a dog. So in 1928, Maurice Frank arrives in Switzerland in April and trains
with guide dog Buddy. Maurice and Buddy returned to New York in June and they faced skeptical
journalists but then they win them over by crossing a wide busy street safely and the
incident receives this wide press coverage everyone sort of, this is like the real beginning.
There's a lot of guidance in the media, people being like, wow. In 1929, the next year, Mrs.
Eustace established the Seeing Eye School in Morristown, New Jersey, realizing that the major
problem was going to be training the people to train the dogs. She returned to Switzerland
and then got a training school near her Fortunate Fields kennels.
And it was here that she also started training her own guide dogs.
So lots of guide dogs were used in history as lots of types of dogs.
So a lot of the time it was like Collies and Shepherds.
Most guide dogs at this time, she's mostly training German Shepherds.
Interesting.
This was the main thing. And nowadays we picture Labradors as guide dogs because in 31, the same Mrs. Eustis,
and I couldn't find very much about her background either.
I don't know.
I think she's just like dog enthusiast person.
Trained and supplied 10 dogs to Italy, 11 to France and three in Switzerland.
Mrs. Eustis also qualified for guide dog instructors that year, because that's the hardest thing.
It's always about training the person.
Yeah.
That's what they say when I take my dogs to the, to the training.
They're like, this is about you.
This is not about the dog.
Um, two went to the Seeing Eye School in New York, one to Italy, and one, uh, went
to the UK, sorry, this is the, um, this is Dogs on Tour.
This is Dogs on Tour.
Those are the instructors.
Sorry. These are two instructors. So they sent an instructor off to New- This is Dogs on Tour. This is Dogs on Tour. Those are the instructors, sorry.
These are two instructors.
So they sent an instructor off to New York.
Dog instructors on tour.
It's not quite as fun, but it's still pretty good, I guess.
It is fun.
And they sent one, Captain Lakoff, to the UK.
He established a whole new centre there in Cheshire where the first four British guide dogs completed their training.
Cool.
But quarantine regulations hindered training the
guide dogs that were being sent to Britain. And so they were like, okay, we can't get all these dogs
in. What we're going to have to do is go with a dog that we have. And the dogs that they had were
Labradors, baby. They just had them. They were like, we got heaps of these. What do you reckon?
We just couldn't ship in their own dogs. So you just had to. Yeah. It's quarantine restrictions.
Yeah. So it could have been pugs.
They could have been pugs.
They could have been Frenchies.
They could have been Frenchies.
They could have been little Pomeranians.
Now I don't know if the success would be the same.
No, I don't think so.
With the chihuahua.
It's tricky, yeah, because you've got to get the right sort of temperament and, dare I say,
intelligence.
Yes.
Yeah, because my, yeah, Frenchies, stubborn. Very stubborn. Very stubborn. Yes. Guide Dogs Australia my Frenchies stubborn.
Very stubborn.
Very stubborn.
Yes.
Guide Dogs Australia uses Labradors.
Yeah.
We will actually Labradors, Golden Retrievers and Labrador Golden Retriever Crosses because
they're generally highly trainable.
They can also readily transfer their affection and loyalty from one person to the other,
which is really nice.
They're not loyal.
They're not loyal.
No. But other dogs are like, who the fuck is this? Yeah, exactly. person to the other. Which is really nice. They're not loyal. They're not loyal.
No.
But other dogs are like, who the fuck's this?
Yeah, exactly. Another dog will be like, I don't know.
I train with this guy.
I'm not interested.
Oh, I was puppy raised in this house.
I am not coming to this house.
Whereas Labradors are like, Hey.
Yeah.
You got food?
Yeah.
Which makes complete sense to me as, as the mother of a Labrador.
Yeah. Hey, I live a Labrador. Yeah.
Hey, I live here now.
Awesome.
Yes.
They're also renowned for their positive beloved reputation in the community, which helps because
Yes.
People see them, they light up.
They go, come on in.
They light up.
They love them.
The media around labs has been very good.
Great PR.
Yeah, great PR on labs.
Excellent PR.
You see, as a kid, never scared of a lab.
Scared of every other kind of dog.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Even dogs that are much smaller than them run up to you like, oh, I don't know about
this, but a lot of labs are quite big.
But you're still like, all right.
You get a Jack Russell coming at you barking.
I'm like, am I going to have to kick my way out of this?
Or are you just saying hello?
A lab comes over, I'm like, hello!
Here's a new best friend.
Yeah, people trust them.
They're very trustworthy.
Going to warm up the shins.
Which is also probably quite important because I know that guide dogs Australia runs on
like almost just exclusively the generosity of Australians like, and you don't have to
pack like you don't have to pay for it to have a guide dog.
It's all just like people donate donors and things like that.
That's amazing. It is pretty amazing.
If you've got any spare cash, chuck it to the labs.
Just put it in the mouth of your closest Labrador and it will take it and walk it over to guide
dogs.
Did we all, you know the Labrador statues that were in the shops?
Did we all, like while mum was checking out at the supermarket, go and hug and pat that
dog?
I always hug that dog.
And then say, mum, can I please have 20 cents to put in the top of this dog's head?
To put in the top of this dog's head.
Then you get a Labrador and you're trying to put the money in its head.
I think that's how you donate.
If you see a Labrador.
Put the money in its head.
Put the money in its head.
Don't do that.
It's not safe.
They don't accept.
They just take card.
That's so cool that it started with like German shepherds and other dogs and they're like,
we don't have any.
What do we have?
Yeah.
What do we have?
What's the most suitable thing that we have here?
And it turned out to be, yeah, dog that's quite good at the job.
Very, very good at the job.
Very good at the job.
Guide dogs in Australia, history of how they got here.
Arnold Cook, a man called Arnold Cook, brought the first guide dog to Australia.
He was from Perth.
He was a West Australian.
Uh, he lost his sight to a rare disease at the age of 18.
And after graduating from uni, the university of Western Australia, he went to
England to further his studies at the London school of economics.
I don't know what he studied there.
London schools or economics.
It could be any.
Could be any of the three.
Why don't you do all three?
I mean, it would make the most sense to be honest that he studied London.
You're going to go all that way.
Because any sort of like, if you're trying to learn a language, for example, it's great
to immerse yourself.
Absolutely.
I think if you're going to, if you want to learn about London, you're going to do that in London.
I assume he was studying London.
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And whilst there, Arnold heard about the guide dog association in Britain and applied for a dog. If you want to learn about London, you're going to do that in London. I assume he was studying London. I think so, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
And whilst there, Arnold heard about the guide dog association in Britain and applied for
a dog.
He was accepted and trained with Drena, a female black Labrador, like my beautiful Eva
here lying on the ground.
Looking out the window like a parakeet.
But she's always ready in case we need anything.
In 1950, Arnold Cook, oh, Dr. Arnold Cook, by the way, so he's got his doctorate in London, I suppose.
Doctor of London.
Doctor of London.
London's only doctor.
Finally, a doctor in London returned home from London with his guide dog and that was
the first in Australia.
So, Drina, she created this huge amount of interest and soon other blind West Australians were keen to have a dog for themselves.
Awesome.
A year later, the first guide dog association in Australia was formed in Perth. So, it's only
taken a year for people to be like, give me one of those dogs.
Yeah, I'm impressed because I can understand or I can imagine people's skepticism.
Absolutely.
Like that first person crossing a street and they're all like, yeah, here we bloody go. Oh,
wait, oh my God, That dog's crossing a street.
Yeah. It's quite amazing what they can do. And we really do need to see it to believe it.
So with the support of Apex clubs, the guide dog association brought the first trainer to Australia from England.
The first guide dog to be trained in Australia was a Kelpie border cross.
Wow.
Border collie cross, sorry, called bow.
So even then we were using different dogs. Just checking it all out
What do I help you slash border Collie would go? They're very smart dog. They're very smart dogs, but they heard they heard
So they have other instincts that can sort of get in the way. Yeah
But they are, you know, obviously a working dog. Yeah, they just it's maybe not the perfect career for them
They need a job. Yeah, but maybe this is, maybe this is a job and not a career for them.
Maybe that's exactly right.
Yeah, you know, this could be a second job.
While they find themselves, while they figure stuff out.
You've just left uni.
Yep.
Give a summer as a guide dog.
Yep.
Casual.
And go, look, obviously I'm pretty good at this, but, but my heart just wants to
chase sheep too.
It's just cause you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it.
That's right. That's the thing. That's right. That is the thing. And just, and just cause you're good at something. Doesn't mean you have to do it. That's right.
That's the thing.
That's right.
That is the thing.
And just, and just because you're maybe not that good at something doesn't mean
you can't do it forever.
Like podcasting.
That's so true.
That's so true.
I have no other skills now.
You still have the skills of working on the radio just cause you finished up.
Oh true.
Just cause you said, I don't want to work on the weekends anymore.
I'd forgotten that.
I was thinking, I don't even know if I could do retail anymore.
But I didn't, the closer job, more recent job is radio.
Which is very similar to podcast.
Also comedian. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Which is almost exactly the same as podcast.
Ubiquitous. I don't know what that means.
I think it's, I think it makes sense. I think it worked in this setting.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Um, by 1957,
there were guide dog associations in each state and then really taken off.
Yeah, it was just like, boom, boom, boom.
I'd say it's later than I would have thought it.
That I would have thought it.
You would have thought it.
Uh, yes, uh, confirming. I don't know what that word means,
but I just use it sometimes.
I think it works in this context.
And it's yeah, later than I would have thought,
but it's taken off faster than I would have thought. Yeah. If that makes sense. Like I would have thought it was in this context. And it's, yeah, later than I would have thought, but it's taken off faster than I would have thought.
Yeah. Yes.
If that makes sense. Like I would have thought it was maybe a pre- Second World War type thing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I mean, there was there's a lot of a large history of guide dogs working with veterans.
So there's I didn't put it in here, but there's like a lot of in Germany, I think there was a lot of training
dogs to help veterans who had lost their sight
or even who'd been injured, things like that, who needed to like traverse rough terrain
and dogs helping them.
Again, that came back to a lot of German shepherds, which makes sense.
Yep.
A lot of shepherd dogs.
So yeah, they have been used for a very long time.
It's just guide dogs as we know them as these, you know, lovable Labradors that, uh, we all know and
love is quite, you know, relatively quite new.
Yeah.
Um, but once they saw what they could do, it absolutely took off.
Um, I want to talk about puppy raising.
You guys know about how, how they, what happens when a little guide dog is born?
No.
Okay.
Cause this is pretty cute.
It's pretty cute.
Ever seen a guide dog puppy?
So cute. Okay. Look out. So puppies are born crazy. Okay, because this is pretty cute. It's pretty cute. Ever seen a god dog puppy? So cute.
Okay, look out.
So puppies are born crazy.
Okay.
Born.
And they are pretty socialized into the world, like from day one.
It's very gentle so as to not stress the dog out, but they're always, you know, they're
introduced to a wide range of sounds, textures and people as soon as possible, like just
without overwhelming them.
Um, the dogs are weaned and then they will go on to live with their puppy raising family.
So general public, you can raise a puppy.
You can do it.
You should.
It's so cute.
You get a guide dog puppy for a year to a year and a half and they just live with you
and guide dogs pays for all their food and all their vet bills.
It's so cute, but you have to say goodbye in the end.
Is that hard?
It's, do you know what?
I've talked to a lot of puppy raisers about this and they don't find it hard because they,
A, they often get another puppy and B, a lot of the time they have an older, like maybe
a retired guide dog.
So they have a dog all the time and then they just sometimes have a puppy that comes through.
So there's a lot of that as well.
But people always, I think it's just the experience of doing something very generous
for another person as well. Yes. But when I looked into it, they, at a certain stage, they,
like the puppies go to school. Yeah. Basically, like they go to training and then you kind of
look after them in the evening and continue their training as well. But yeah, you drop them off at school like three days a week or something. I was like, that's so
cute. I did look into doing it before we had Goose. And I had a friend who did it for a
year, year and a half, however long it was. Obviously I had to say goodbye to the puppy
as she went on to do further training and she wasn't successful at training to be a
guide dog. So they were given the opportunity
to then adopt her.
Oh wow, she was reclassified.
Yeah.
Oh what a cutie.
So they have her again now which is lovely, obviously, but she didn't make, she didn't
quite make the cut.
Well it is a very high standard.
It's super high standard.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they need to not only be good at the job but also really want to do the job.
Yeah.
Yep.
Like we were talking about before, just because you're good at it.
Yeah, yeah. They need to have that get up and go. the job but also really want to do the job. Yeah. Like we were talking about before, just because you're good at it.
Yeah.
They need to have that get up and go.
So puppy raising, it's one of the most generous things that you can do whilst also cuddling
a puppy.
How good's that?
It's pretty good.
Pretty good stuff.
So during the time that the dog is placed with you, the dogs are carefully monitored and
assessed along the way.
As Jess said, they go to school.
You drop them off at school.
It's so cute.
And then you pick them up.
Oh my God. It's so cute. Pretty cute them off at school. And then you pick them up. Oh my god,
it's so cute. How was school? I mean, come on. How was school? That's so good. Don't ask me, mom,
I don't want to talk about it. Can you remember that? When I got home from school and my mom used
to ask me how school was, I was like, fuck off. It was so annoying. I never felt so angry and she
was just trying to be nice.
It's one of those things where as you grow up, you realize like what an asshole you were because I got so annoyed at mom because the second I hadn't even made it in the front door and she'd go,
hi. And I was like, I'm not even in the house yet. Yeah. It was so annoying. I had to like,
I would crack it at her so much. We had to have a chat about it. And I was like,
cause my room was right inside the front door.
I was like, let me go put my bag down.
When I come out to the kitchen immediately after then I'm ready to talk,
but I'm not ready yet. When I walk in the door and you go, Hi, how are you?
How was your day? I'm like, shut up. And she'd be like, okay, yeah, no worries.
So she'd, she'd respect that. And now,
now if I get home and Aiden doesn't immediately say hello,
I'm like, what the fuck dude?
If Tim didn't like greet me by dancing around the room
and then dipping me, I think I'd divorce him
and we're not even married.
I would be fuming.
Sometimes I can see Aiden,
because he's at his desk right inside the front door.
I open it, nothing.
And I'm like, I'm sorry, did you not hear a very loud front door open?
No.
Did you do it again?
Did you notice the dog has run off to come and say hi?
Yeah, oh, the dog's here.
Dog's happy I'm here.
Sometimes I do go, I'm going to start that again, thanks.
Start that again, thanks.
Hi.
Like really passive aggressive.
At my house, I have a studio audience.
So I enter it's like Kramer.
Oh, that's so good. They erupt. I love that. Oh, I have a studio audience, so I enter as like Kramer. Oh, that's so good.
They erupt.
I love that.
Oh.
I'm here again.
I want that really, really bad.
Oh man.
And I'm so sorry, mum.
Yeah, I'm sorry, mum.
So sorry, mum.
You can stop, mum.
The backpack's on.
Out of this, okay?
You know what the problem was?
My commute home from school was too short.
I lived so close to school.
It was like a five minute walk.
No time to decompress.
I hadn't decompressed yet.
Yeah.
Let me put my very heavy bag down.
Yeah.
And then love me.
Shower me with love.
Yeah.
But let me get in the door, woman.
Let me get in the door.
We had a lot of books.
So, and why you had to take them home.
We weren't allowed lockers.
You weren't allowed lockers.
No, they got rid of the lockers because someone blew up one of the lockers.
So we weren't allowed them.
But textbooks were so heavy.
Yes.
In particular.
Every textbook at all times in your bag.
At all times in your bag.
That is crazy.
Because some rat blew up the fucking lockers.
Pretty funny though, wasn't it?
Classic locker.
It was pretty funny.
It was me. Ha ha ha ha!
Sucked in!
Um, alright, so, uh, the guide dog is, uh, carefully assessed and monitored just to keep
an eye on what's going on for them, what they need to work on, their suitability.
Um, but in the first, you know, few months of their life, it's mostly just about getting,
getting used to the world so they don't react to anything.
So they put the tiny puppy.
Like if you got one of the puppies, they have a little vest and you take them everywhere.
Right.
Like you get them, you get them used to being in cafes and in shopping centers.
They get a little vest.
Yeah.
It's really cute.
It's so cute.
Yeah.
You never see, you see the little puppy at the shops and you're like, Oh no know I'm not allowed to pet you, but I just want to go on your face.
It's tough.
It's very hard.
They get, yeah, once they reach a certain age, they get their little jacket, their tiny
little jacket and they get to go to the little shops and they, you know, you ease them in.
You take them to smaller places first.
Yeah.
Suburban places, things like that.
Oh, so cute.
Little puppy in a vest.
It's pretty cute. It's like me when I put on my boyfriend's jumper. Yes. And you're
like, how are you so little in there? Yeah. So, whoa, where are you in there? Have you
got a job? You know, something like that. Yeah. And I'm like, no, stop asking. I just
got home. Shut up. Shut up. Just dip me and shut up. Dip me and shut up. So yes, as I said before, guide dog needs to be confident, but also focused.
They need to be able to keep up with their person and they also need to really want to.
So guide dogs as an association is always looking for signs as to what a dog needs to
work on.
The older they get and the more they see of the world.
How can you tell if they want to do the job?
Because they're like, what's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or they're like, pardon?
Yeah.
Like that.
Yep.
So you'll see Eva, for example, my ambassador dog, the reason she was reclassified
really, she was a little bit spooked about stairs, which is a red flag.
Um, but she also, she's funny on stairs.
Yeah.
She also just didn't have the get up and go.
She was like, I will guide you there, but I want to walk sort of
just kind of in step with you.
I don't really want to lead.
She didn't have leadership qualities.
She wants to walk next to you, not slightly in front of you.
Yeah. She's got really great skills.
She's very smart.
She has the perfect temperament for a guide dog.
But she was like, oh, do we have to?
Can we? No. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's preferable if they're like, out the way, I've got this.
I'll show you where.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They need to be confident leaders, but not, you know, but they still need to be obedient
and focused.
Probably not too much of out the way.
Not too much out the way.
Just, you know, out the way, but they're saying it to obstacles.
Out the way, please.
Oh, you want to go to Coles?
I prefer Woolworths today.
Actually, we're going left.
Yeah.
Dogs just, yeah. I'm sure they're manipulative like that. I prefer Woolworths today actually we're going left.
Dogs just yeah I'm sure they're manipulative like that.
I'm so certain of it.
So as I said before I'm working I specifically work with guide dogs Victoria.
So I can only really speak for them as to their little markers but there's markers when
the dogs can do certain things.
So they get to five months they go on a big tram ride.
Oh you know a little tram,
you might've seen this, they all go together.
So like all the little,
there's a bunch of little guide dog pups
at five months on the tram.
That's killing Jess, she thinks it's the kids.
In queue two.
That actually, I'm tearing up.
Are we allowed to board the tram
or do they sort of blow her out of the tram?
No, you're allowed to board the tram.
You just got it, but you know, you've got to ignore the dog.
Don't distract the dog, but you can watch.
She's got these little puppies on the tram.
Imagine getting on and not knowing.
Get us on the way.
It'd be the best day ever.
I'd be sitting on a lottery ticket that day.
They do it a lot.
A lot of the time you'll see a bunch of guard dogs, a big day out on the tram in
the CBD, sometimes even.
That's so cute.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
It's very beautiful.
So they go on a tram ride together. Then they go to a cafe to get used to sitting in a cafe, which we all know can in the CBD sometimes even. That's so cute. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's very beautiful.
So they go on a tram ride together,
then they go to a cafe to get used to sitting in a cafe,
which we all know can be difficult for dogs.
Yeah, it is.
You gotta get them young into that
because it does take a bit of getting used to.
Yeah, it's very difficult.
And when they get to nine months, they hit the city, baby.
They're introduced to the CBD.
Oh, the hustle and bustle, hey?
The grid system.
Yes, the grid system, That's Swanston Street,
that Comedy Republic, all that stuff that's in the city, McDonald's. The laneways. The
laneways of Melbourne. The European style boutiques. You need that dog to be able to
navigate the grave street light on the back of his hand. Yeah, you need to say,
dog, take me to AesOP. Yeah. Things like that.
And it goes, no worries.
As a strong smell, I'll get us there.
Resurrection Aromatique.
I can smell it.
I know where it is.
So that's very exciting.
And then they start going to larger shopping malls.
So they've been going to like, you know, maybe your well in Camberwell.
Yeah.
But now they're ready for Chadston, the fashion capital.
Wow. That's my ready for the fashion capital. They're ready for the fashion capital. Wow.
That's my reference for a small mall.
The well.
The well in Camberwell.
Your Barkley Square.
Yeah.
Your sparkly bear.
Yeah.
You know, that kind of thing.
That kind of thing.
Yeah.
And so we're just, you know, we're sort of slowly, slowly building.
We take them to a really good place to take them as a pet shop because that is where you
test a lot of their distractions.
So there'll be other dogs. Yeah. There'll be balls, toys, food. Why do they put open treats down low?
So that your dog gets it in their mouth and then you have to buy it. Yeah. Yeah. God,
my dog does. And me too. Yeah. But it's one of my favourite things to do is to take her
to the dog shop to the to the Maya for dogs. Yep. And say, go just get whatever you want.
Whatever you want, babe.
And she gets, she grabs it and I say, well, good choice.
Good choice.
Wow.
She's grabbed a fish tank.
Oh my God.
I guess we're starting a fish tank.
Good girl.
I guess we're starting an aquarium.
We'll take Goose there to give him a bath.
And then as a little post bath treat, he gets to do something.
Me too.
Me too. I'm like, Jess is crying.
I'm hearing how fucking ridiculous it is.
I'm also, I'm so, I'm kind of glad Matt's not here because he would be like,
what is wrong with you people?
Does he not like dogs?
No, no, no, he likes dogs. He doesn't understand the concept of pets.
Yeah, or dog culture.
Yes.
He's fascinated about, you know, the small talk you do with other people when you're
out for a walk.
Oh, yeah.
Does he have a dog?
No.
What?
No, he never has, I believe.
What?
Yeah.
We're going to talk about this off air.
But he likes it.
He will happily say hi to our dogs and he likes dogs.
But he's just never had one.
But it is strange when you take a step back and think, like, we just have animals that
we're like, you're mine, and we dress them up.
It is strange to put the hats on.
It's strange.
It's strange.
It must be done though.
Oh, you can't, you can't not put hat.
Have you seen Goose in a Party Hat?
It's the best thing in the world.
It's the best thing in the world.
I framed that picture.
It's so cute.
I printed it out at Kmart and I framed it.
That's pretty cute.
That is, I would like one of those, a copy of that.
Okay.
Well, you've got a birthday coming up. I do. Every year, baby.
Wow. So this is when they get to about like, sometimes it's 12 months for intact males,
cause they want to get it done, you know, sort of quickly. But usually it's about 15 months,
dogs will start their proper assessment. So an assessment is one week period, dogs, it's
like they go to camp. So they get settled into kennels by the volunteers and they're paired into
kennels overnight and in a yard with four other dogs during the day. They walked each day of their
assessment, given play time and supervisor all times. And this is where the people start to go,
all right, you're going to be a guide dog, you're going to be a guide dog, you're going to be a
therapy dog, you're going to be a pet, you're going to be, you know, like it's.
Oh, fascinating.
Yeah, this is when they start to go, okay, we think we know what's going on.
Yeah.
And based on their health status at this point, dogs can be reclassified as well.
Right.
So maybe they have, like maybe they're really perfect guide dog and they'll be amazing and
they should enter the training program, but unfortunately their paws are sensitive to heat or something like that. That can mean that that dog will
be reclassified maybe as a therapy dog or maybe as an ambassador dog, which I will get
to, which is what Eva is. But if the dog does pass their health assessment, eye checks and
their temperamental assessment, which is another thing, if they're a little bit like, oh yeah,
I guess I could guide you,
then they're gonna be reclassified.
So that reclassification is just when you put a dog
into a different job.
It's like they go to a careers counselor
and they're like, you should be a guide dog,
you should be a firefighter, you should be et cetera.
Things like that.
The firefighter dogs, you should see them, they're crazy.
Now they're wearing hats.
They have to wear hats for safety.
Now if they pass their health assessment and eye checks,
they will be walked every day by an instructor or trainer.
Walks are conducted in a range of local areas
to assess whether they are suitable for guide dog training
or for one of the other programs.
And then they assess the dogs on 15 traits
to test their suitability.
I won't go through all of them,
but it's like a level of distraction. So, you know, how, how are they if there's like 20 cats,
like how they're going? Because they need to go pretty good. Stamina. So stamina is another thing.
It depends on who you're going to be matched with as well. So sometimes you might not have as much
stamina as the other guide dogs, but that's okay because you just might get matched with a handler who doesn't have that much
of an active life. And that is totally fine. Response to the handler, so how they work
with their handler, their anxiety levels, which is also obviously a big thing for all
dogs and response to sudden noises. So Eva, you'll notice, if I take Eva to the theatre,
she doesn't notice. She like, she can loud bangs, she doesn't, Eva, you'll notice if I take Eva to the theater, she's, she doesn't notice
she'd like loud bangs.
She doesn't, she, the house could be broken into.
She'd be like, Hey, like she does not panic at all.
While you're away, we took Eva to a show at comedy Republic, basically her second
home.
Yes.
We saw Reese Nicholson's show and Reese later said, Oh, I had a bit of a moment
backstage where I thought, Oh, the
lights changed super suddenly. And there's like loud music at the very start of their
show. Yeah. And they had the thought of like, Oh no, that's going to spook Eva. Yeah. And
then remembered that Eva once shot in the bar at comedy Republic. So I don't think much
phases her. And they were correct. Eva did not even blink. No, she did not blink. And
she did. She did have an accident inside. She had
an upset tummy and she was very disappointed because as you know, guide dogs are very well
trained. Don't usually have these kinds of accidents. It was a real surprise for her
and for us. She was ashamed of herself. She was very ashamed because she'll tell you,
guide dogs will tell you when they need to go. She didn't have enough notice herself,
a poor thing, which is not good.
She's fine with noises, but not furniture moving.
Not furniture moving. She does not like furniture moving suddenly.
Yeah.
Another reason why she actually, I don't even know if that wasn't her assessment.
That's the one with the tests.
That's just something that's developed since she's moved in with us.
Yeah, she doesn't love it. And she settles immediately after, but she just goes, what?
Oh, it's very funny.
She just has to look at the furniture very pointedly to be like, don't please, I'm sitting
here.
I was just relaxing.
Yes.
So dogs can be reclassified at any point during this assessment.
So maybe they'll get like a little bit into the assessment and they get
kicked out, not kicked out. Reclassified is a nicer word, isn't it? Reclassified, yeah.
But you have failed. Well, they haven't failed. They have not failed. They're like some of the
smartest dogs, even the ones that are like the very like least suitable for work dogs that go
on to just become pets. It's a rarity that you get them.
And when you do get them, they are the best.
I mean, look at the training they've had from puppy.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
You've been so well trained.
Yeah.
It's like, I'm sorry, this one can't have a job.
What do you mean?
Yeah.
Like this job could do, this job could do my job.
Yeah.
Um, anyway, my job's acting.
Dogs do do my job.
Um, if they do pass their assessment and they go and they're allocated to do guide dog training,
they begin this and it is a five month intensive.
Wow.
Yeah.
Five months.
They go off, I assume to TAFE and they do the five month.
They get a cert too or something.
Cert too and guide dogging.
For us, for the dogs here in Victoria, they might come and train at the campus in Victoria,
but they also might go interstate or overseas.
So a lot of the guide dogs associations, they will breed together so that we avoid, because
obviously you can't just take a dog from the street.
It has to be a specifically bred dog, but you have to avoid things like, you know, getting too genetically close with other dogs. So interstate breeding
is big and overseas. Also, a lot of guide dogs work together and but guide dogs Victoria
is like one of the five best most recognized breeding programs. Something like that. Wow.
It's pretty good. Pretty cool. I don't know where Eva was born.
Probably here.
Cause she's so beautiful.
Yeah.
You know how they have like uni rankings?
It's like, oh, this is a top 10 uni.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's top 10.
Yeah.
Guide dog.
Yeah.
Facility.
Yeah, that's what it is.
That's awesome.
That's what the one over in Q.
Pretty good.
They're doing a big revamp of it at the moment, which is exciting.
Um, so within Victoria, uh, the dogs will work with,
sorry, one trainer will work with like six to eight dogs.
During that training period,
they will develop a detailed understanding
of each dog's physical, temperamental,
and working abilities.
So they really get to know each individual dog.
After about 16 weeks,
the dog should have learned to respond correctly and confidently
to 30 commands by word, hand or foot, sometimes refusing to obey for safety reasons.
Yeah.
So yes, I saw a video the other day that was, it was, you know, it was a TikTok and so,
you know, people will have cameras in their own homes and it was a woman, her therapy dog or her, it was a medical alert dog.
Yes.
Was interrupting her to tell her she was having a medical episode, but she hadn't,
she wasn't feeling it yet. And people in the comments were like, the fact that the dog can
override being like pushed away or like being dismissed.
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's so cool that like, they know that like,
I know you're telling me to go,
but I can see a car coming, so I'm gonna wait.
That's amazing.
How do you teach a dog to do that?
It's amazing.
It's called intelligent disobedience.
Yeah, wow.
Yeah, and some of the dogs, I think it's like,
they will disobey up to 11 or 12 times to keep you safe.
Wow.
Which is pretty crazy for a dog that is trained to,
you know, forward, left, find the door,
find the stairs, find that, you know, just always looking to you to go, what do you need?
Can just stand in front of you and be like, you're not crossing the road.
And that's a really big deal with silent cars and things like that.
Of course.
Yeah.
Silent cars are a huge, huge issue.
And that's why sometimes now you don't see silent cars.
You hear like the new car that's like, yeah, just giving it a sound to help people.
Because yeah, if you don't hear them coming, exactly.
So it's important.
Also in America, I've just got back from America and none of the crosswalks make any noise.
Right.
It's ridiculous.
Sometimes you have to put you can press for a noise at some of them,
but it's ridiculous.
Whereas in Australia, we're very lucky.
They all.
Yeah, it's an accessibility issue in Australia, we're very lucky. They all.
Yeah.
It's an accessibility issue.
Yeah.
America.
Get your shit together.
That's my one problem with the country.
That's the one thing you're not great at.
Come on.
Everything else, perfect.
Good luck with the election.
Yeah.
So during the training period, they're doing this and they teach them the intelligent
disobedience which is obviously really difficult and really different in every dog, but pretty
cool.
And yeah, as I said before, some of those commands are like forward, left, right, because
that's how they communicate.
Find the stairs.
A dog will always find the stairs confidently, stop at the stairs.
Escalators, they teach them to go on escalators and moving staircases, which is really hard.
I find that sometimes a bit much.
It is. And you've only got two legs.
Yeah. So like they can't.
Do the step on.
Yeah, they've got to step on with four legs.
Yep.
Which is quite full on and also keep their handler safe.
It's a really, really difficult process and they don't let the dogs do it until they're with the.
I was on an escalator a couple of weeks ago
where it's always on the same side.
In Australia, we walk on the left.
We drive on the left.
Everything on the left.
These two things, I wasn't paying attention
and they had swapped it so the down...
What?
No.
Went to the right one.
No, no, no.
So I stepped confidently onto the one
that takes you back up, up, uphill. And I went, whoa, what the hell?
I'd love to get that security footage.
I was furious.
I swapped it.
Do you when you know, you know when the escalator is like out of service,
but it becomes stairs. Yeah.
And you go to step onto it and you just, you think you're going to pass out.
Like I always say, I don't think there's anything harder.
It's because you, you like, you step, it feels like you step too much.
You lift your foot up too much.
Yes.
Somebody has asked Dr. Carl about that on Triple J.
What did he say?
I can't remember.
It's like a dog wearing shoes.
Yeah. I think it's that the depth of those stairs is different to how we would build
stairs.
Yeah.
That's why it feels so weird to walk up them.
Yeah.
Also, the vertical lines on them, they say to me, I'm moving.
Yeah.
They say there's movement here.
Yeah.
That's very strange.
That is a lie.
That is a lie.
Yeah.
Imagine getting on one of those with four legs.
That's crazy.
You're going to get four on there?
How do you do it?
Yeah, it's really hard.
That's why it's not advised for you to take your dog on an escalator.
Carry them.
Carry them if you have to go by escalator.
There's no way he's stepping on that escalator.
He'd be terrified.
Yeah.
No, it's too hard.
It's absolutely too hard.
I don't take Eva on them either.
I don't think they're, even though she's, you know, very, very advanced dog.
I'm like, nah, she's not getting on that.
I'm scared. I'm scared of that. We'll take the lift. We'll take the lift. We'll stay down here.
Very much. We'll just stay down here. I don't need to go up to hoot. I'll see it when it comes out
on streaming. You guys, I'll catch up with you after the movie. But so the dogs, they do a bunch
of things. And once they've done all of these beautiful training, training things, they
start doing their blindfold assessments.
So a blindfold assessment is where the one trainer will wear a blindfold or
blackout glasses and put the harness on the dog and just be led by the dog.
I'm just, now I'm just picturing this.
I'm doing this with my right hand.
Maybe it is not always on the left. I should know and I don't and that's fine and you can go
to the guide dog's website and check.
I think it's often on the left.
I think it's on the left, but then I just did that with my right and it felt I don't
know why they did. Anyway, it doesn't matter. So they'll be blindfolded or blackout glasses
and then they will hold the harness of the dog and they will just go with the dog. So
there's another trainer as well watching just in case
anything goes wrong, in case there's any mistakes. For the first assessment, maybe it'll be in like
a residential area and then into a shopping center. And then the final boss is a 45 minute
assessment in the Melbourne CBD. It's magnificent to watch. If you ever see it, just follow them.
It's so impressive.
It's amazing to just see this dog just be like, yep, I've got this.
And to see the handler really trust them.
It's like, it is magic.
They just pound that pavement.
They're like, I got it.
I got this.
Yeah, that's awesome.
It's fantastic.
And I think, you know, a lot of people as well think like the dog is training, like
is sort of running along, but the dog has to work, walk at a good pace.
You know, they have to match their handler.
There's a lot that they have to think about as well as the trucks and the people and the
everything and the other dogs and the cats and the rats.
And it's crazy. It's amazing.
So once they do get paired with their handler after they've passed these assessments, they
work together to get around.
So a dog will alert you to obstacles like stairs, curbs, but also bumps in the road
or like there's a big stick, like things like that.
Wheelie bins in the path, move your bins, trim your hedges.
It's annoying.
Don't park your car across the footpath.
Don't do it.
Essentially, the person will use a series of commands
like left, right, forward, find the door,
find it, find the stairs.
So that person will usually know where they're going.
And you can try, so if you're staying in a hotel,
you know, you might have a different system with your dog,
but if you're staying in a hotel
and that dog needs to learn where your door is
and where that lift is just within that hotel,
you can train them.
So you get a person behind the desk to take you there
to your room for the
first time and then you might be like, okay, door and just train your dog that this is
the door.
When I say door, I mean this.
When I say lift, I mean this.
And it's really quick.
That dog will be like, yep, I get it.
And then the next time you come up, they'll take you to the lift.
They know which room's yours.
They know which room's yours.
I'm a sighted person and I've got the card in front of me with the room number on it
and I can still not find it.
Me too.
It's very difficult.
It's very cool.
Because I don't think the dogs can read.
They can't read.
So that's pretty cool.
Okay.
As far as I understand.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
But you know, we don't expect the dog to be Google Maps either.
I think there's a misunderstanding that people are like, take me to the nearest coal.
It's not how they work.
Sorry, just downloading the map.
Pharmacy.
Pharmacy.
Yes, it's a team. It's a team. They work together. So they'll be like, I know I need to go five
blocks north and then two blocks left. And so they'll be like forward and then they cross
the road and they go, okay, left, you know, they're all working together and constantly communicating, which is really nice.
They can also, dogs can teach you, dogs can take you to the tram stop, finding a seat
on the tram.
So they get trained to like, they get rewarded for taking you to the little touch on bit,
things like that.
So they learn how to do that.
And then to find a seat on the tram, which is really, really cute.
And they find you a little chair.
So by the teenagers got his feet on the, on the sand.
Move! Come on. is really, really cute and I find you a little chair. They bite a teenager who's got his feet on the sand. Yeah, move.
Come on.
They give a really passive aggressive stare to somebody sitting in the priority seat.
Like, excusez-moi.
Just staring.
Excusez-moi.
But there are some dogs, obviously, and this is, there's different varies, but especially
for like really young or really active people who are handling a guide dog, they might have
a lot of places that they go and that dog will maybe remember all those places. So like my dog knows where Sunny Ray Cafe
is. If I say, take me to Sunny Ray, she'll be like, yeah, let's go. So a lot of your
dogs will be able to do that. Although, you know, take me to this place, take me like,
oh, we're going to XYZ and they could pull you there with a leash because they're so
excited. They know where their house is. Yeah. So there's, you know, there's a bit of that
as well. But really from the majority, they're just working. They know where their house is. Places. Yeah. Yeah. So there's, you know, there's a bit of that as well. But really from the majority,
they're just working together in tandem, which is very nice. They have a very, very special
relationship. Um, because you can work with that dog for, you know, a long time. Um, again,
intelligent disobedience, we were just talking this before. Very exciting. Very cool.
So cool.
Yeah. It's quite, it's quite mad, but it happens a lot because people will think I know the
way and they, they do, but they don't know that something's happened.
Yep.
There's road works.
Yeah, there's road works.
Exactly.
There's a car coming.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
And that's just one of the reasons why people ask that you don't pat their dogs while they
are working.
Cause they need to focus on keeping their handler safe and the handler needs to focus
on keeping them safe.
Vest on, don't touch the dog.
Vest on, don't touch the dog.
But that's it.
As soon as that vest or that harness comes off, the guide dog just becomes family pet.
They run around at the dog park.
They are silly billies.
And they get that every day.
They get their silly billy time every day, which is important.
I have that too.
Tim takes my jacket off when I run around.
Jessi You get the zoomies.
Jessi I get the zoomies.
It's really nice.
Jessi It is nice.
And he goes, oh, she's going to sleep good tonight.
Jessi Yes.
Yes.
It's very nice.
Is there anything better than a dog getting the zoomies?
Absolutely not.
No.
It's the best thing in the world.
I've never seen anything better.
Did you just looked at Eva like she might get the zoomies because we're talking about
it?
I just looked at her and noticed she's just laid down on the ground.
She's asleep.
Powering up for the next zoomie.
She is.
She needs to charge., needs to charge up. Refusal is a big
problem for guide dogs. You've heard me talk about this. I whinge about this all the time.
But taxis, restaurants, things like that, you have to let the guide dog in and the person and in and
not make them feel discriminated against. It's a really huge problem. I've seen taxis drive away from people
because they think, oh, that's a blind person.
They can't, then what are they gonna do?
And it's like, no, that's a full person.
And they're still gonna report you
and take them where you need to go.
It's really, really bad.
Once I stood in front of a taxi
that was about to drive away from a man,
I saw him just three taxis, just drive away and Ubers.
So Guide Dogs works with, I think, like one, three cabs or one of the companies,
I should know, but I don't know, to try and really improve that and Uber as well.
But it's still a huge problem.
Because it's a law, right? They're not supposed to refuse.
Yeah, you're not allowed. Yeah.
Guide Dogs are allowed everywhere, except a commercial kitchen, a, um, in like, uh, what's
the room where you do a surgery?
An operating room?
An operating theater.
Yep.
And that's not even because of cleanliness or anything.
It's literally just, there's no one there to look after the dog and handle the dog.
Um, operating theater and certain parts of the zoo because obviously there are some dogs
that like that prey on dogs, some animals that because obviously there are some dogs that's like
that prey on dogs some animals that prey on dogs and some animals that are preyed on by dogs
and also there's like you know you don't want them to get sick um but most of the zoo you can go to
but yeah none of those uh examples were taxi no or restaurant or bar or shopping center exactly
yeah exactly and that's where ambassador dogs come in to play so Eva my dog is an ambassador or bar or shopping center. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.
And that's where ambassador dogs come in to play.
So Eva, my dog is an ambassador dog and she just comes with me everywhere.
Her job is basically to get people used to having a guide dog around.
So if they're afraid of guide dogs, which is absolute, like I get it.
I get why you can be afraid of dogs.
Sometimes it's for cultural reasons.
Sometimes you've had an experience and a lot of the time that happens in taxis or
restaurants where people just don't know how to interact with the dog.
They don't feel safe. They don't think it's sanitary.
So her job is to make people feel comfortable around dogs.
And so we go in taxis and like talk to taxi drivers and we have spent,
I just sit in the back and tell them all the things that the dogs can do.
And so many tax drivers will get out of the car and pat her after and then she's their
first dog that they pat.
So it's really important work, but also like she's essentially a model and a little, a
little role model.
She's an influencer.
She's an influencer.
She's influencing the public.
Influencing one cab at a time.
Yeah.
And she does a really great work, but it's pretty amazing.
I mean, we were at the Malthouse Theatre last night and we were just standing around and somebody came over
and was like, hey, what show are you seeing?
Do you need to go in early?
Where would you like to sit?
That kind of behavior is really helpful
because you just don't know what people need
and you don't know how confident people are
to ask for what they need either.
And they shouldn't really have to do that.
I think it's, so Eva's job, I guess,
is we go ahead to try and advocate for people
so they don't have to, so they can just move freely around the world and not have to worry too much.
Also her job is being a super big cutie.
Have you ever had people with like an allergy?
Yeah, yeah.
If they have an allergy, that's okay.
Like if you have an allergy, you don't have to take them in your car.
But I think you have to sort of register it with your boss.
If you're a driver. Right.
Okay. In a restaurant, I've never had it.
I suppose it's just a small space. Yeah.
Yeah. But I always ask, you know, is it OK that the dog sits near you?
Are you OK with the dog?
And I always move because, you know, you never you don't want to upset people either.
Her whole job is to improve the community.
Yeah. The community spirit towards guide dog. So we don't want to upset people either. Her whole job is to improve the community. Yeah. The community spirit towards guide dogs.
So we don't want to upset people.
Most that I've seen, cause I'm with Ava a lot, is people just lighting up cause there's
a dog.
Yes.
There's a dog in a theater.
There's a dog in a theater.
Dog in the theater.
And they all sort of dance around her.
They're like, I'm not allowed to touch it, but I want to touch it.
Yeah.
You go, you know what?
You actually can pet her.
And they go, they love it.
Yeah.
They love it.
That makes them very, very pleased. A really great interaction last night was a woman had a little Jack Russell.
She was walking by and the two dogs said hi to each other.
And then she saw Eva's vest and she said, Oh, I'm so sorry.
I've only just seen her vest.
Is this okay?
And we're like, yeah, it's okay.
She's an ambassador.
Yeah, it was really good.
It was lovely.
I was like, you had the right instincts there.
Yeah.
To be like, I shouldn't be distracting this dog.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So it's really nice to see that stuff.
From the world of Sonic the Hedgehog, a new hero arrives. I am ready. Is there anyone stronger? No.
Tougher? No. Funnier. I do not make jokes. I make warriors. Knuckles now streaming only on Paramount Plus. Yes.
Now streaming only on Paramount Plus. Yes.
Yeah, other kinds of reclassified dogs are therapy dogs.
So Eva would probably could have been a therapy dog, but I think she's very pretty.
And so they made her a role model because she's a model.
That's my theory.
I've never seen an ugly lab, but she is particularly beautiful.
She's just so shiny.
She's so shiny.
What's going on?
I don't know what's going on.
But therapy dogs, they can support people who have, you know, behavioral, emotional, She's really beautiful. She's just so shiny. She's so shiny. What's going on? I don't know what's going on.
But therapy dogs, they can support people who have behavioral, emotional, developmental,
mental health conditions, things like that, all caused by age or illness, things like
that.
People can have personal therapy dogs, and they can be therapy dogs that live and work
with a psychologist, and they go into that office every day, things like that.
Companion dogs is another type of dog.
So my nephew has a companion dog.
He is autistic and he doesn't necessarily need a dog to get around, but it just, it
helps him and helps calm his anxiety, things like that.
And they're generally like gentle affectionate dogs.
They're really good.
Like they make, they get you up and about and they're just really good.
So they're also really good for people with PTSD.
The Ambassador Dog program, obviously they work in marketing.
They are very much like guide dogs.
So they're very, like the temperament you see in a guide dog and the behaviour you see
in a guide dog is what you're going to see.
Sorry, in an ambassador dog.
Ambassador dog.
Ambassador dog.
Ambassador dog.
Ambassador dog.
It's hard to say.
Ambassador dog is what you're going to see in a guide dog.
All that's interesting, website, ever heard of it?
Yes.
Oh, we love that website.
Big fans.
I saw an article about one of the more famous guide dogs.
There's also, I think, an episode of This American Life about this, or a podcast, or
there's some sort of, I can't remember what it is or where I heard it, but a famous guide
dog called Roselle.
Have you heard this story?
No. Okay. So she was the guide dog of a man called Michael Hingson and she led him and a bunch of
other people confidently and calmly down the stairs, evacuating the world trade center on 9-11.
Oh wow. Roselle would stop and give little kisses to people who were really injured and
didn't want to keep going. People who would just like leave me behind. She would like lick them and
be like, no, come on, we can do it. Michael and Roselle were very confident
working together. And so there were this inspiring force to those around them. I think quite famously,
he turned around and was like, somebody was like, when I'm not going to make it. And Michael was
like, if Roselle can make it, you can make it. We can do it together. So Roselle practiced
intelligent disobedience too, a
lot, because the second tower hit, was hit and Michael went to go one way. Once they
got out, they were down, I think they went into the subway or something like that, or
like underground. And he knew the way and he was telling you to go and she was like,
nah, it's not on. There's another, a second plane. She said it out loud.
It's the first recorded dog speaking.
Yeah. That's that famous line, a second plane has hit the World Trade Center.
That's from...
That's from Roselle.
Roselle.
Wow.
So she could see that wasn't safe.
She put her body in front of him, led him and the others to a handrail that led to a
safe alternative exit.
Wow.
Another guide dog that was in 9-11, Omar Rivera and his yellow Labrador Retriever, Salty,
climbed down... Salty. Salty.
That name rules.
I know. They climbed down 70 stories just before Tower One collapsed and got out.
Rivera even tried to release Salty because he was like, I don't know how I'm going to get out.
Let her out. Like, just let her go and was like, you go because she'll, you know, she'll be able to get out and wanted her to survive.
But she wouldn't leave him.
Oh, Salty. They leave him. Oh, salty.
They got out.
They got out.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, they got out.
It's amazing.
Now alternatives.
My dog would be gone.
He'd be fucked right off.
Eventually he'd turn around to look and be like, oh, where is she?
But he'd be gone.
As soon as you say you go, he's like, all right.
I tested him a little bit yesterday.
I let him out of, when, when I walked to like, all right. I tested him a little bit yesterday.
I let him out.
When when I walked to and from the car, I let him off lead
because he stays right with us anyway.
Yeah. But he had sort of trotted off ahead of me
and he went around the corner.
And so I just stood still and I could hear the little tippy
tappy tippy tappy as he was like having a sniff.
And then he came back around the corner and looked at me like,
what the fuck are you doing?
Let's go home. Come on. What the fuck are you doing?
You've got the keys, let's go.
That's so funny.
Give me the keys or come on.
Yeah, you stay, I don't care, but I'll unlock the door.
So one of the problems with guide dogs, I think the only problem with guide dogs, is
that they don't live forever.
Yes, which is very upsetting.
It's one of the biggest problems with dogs.
Yep. Um, so at least if they had human length, uh, life expectancies, you know, yes, it would
be nice. That would be nice. But, um, or dog, a dog will get to a point where they will
retire and when they do retire, they might live with their owner as a pet when they don't
while their owner, um, or the handler while handler adjust to a new dog or maybe to a cane or maybe to, you know, whatever, whatever they want to
adjust to. Um, which can be really obviously a huge, difficult and devastating process
when you're used to working with one dog all the time. And now that dog's just a pet. Sometimes
they live with the family of the handler. Sometimes they go back to their puppy raisers,
which is so sweet. Isn't that so nice? You know, not everyone has the capacity to care for two dogs.
Um, so yeah, so sometimes they go back to their puppy raisers and because Labradors
are so adaptable, they're fine.
They're like, yep, rock and roll.
Let's go.
Cool.
Back with these guys.
Love these guys.
Oh, hey, I remember you.
Yeah, that's nice.
You guys have snacks, if I remember correctly.
So it's really nice.
It's really sweet that they're very adaptable, but it is also a little bit like, where's
your loyalty?
Yeah, well, I've been doing this report while I've been traveling so much and I've been
away from Eva and I come home and she's like, oh my God, you're home, you're home, you're
home. Okay. She just, she really settles into the new norm quite quickly.
That's great. It is good.
It's good for her, awful for Yeah. I want her to pine.
Yes.
You know, when you see videos of people like their dog ran away or got lost, you
know, a couple of years ago and then they see it and the dog's like, oh, oh, oh,
we're jumping all over them and it's so beautiful.
Yeah.
Like literally knocking them to the ground and kissing their face.
Yeah.
Eva does that, but just for, for 10 seconds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Goose goes, oh my God, it's you.
What's that smell over there? And I'm like, you bastard. Yeah. Yeah. Goose goes, Oh my God, it's you. What's that smell over there?
And I'm like, you kind of bastard.
Yeah. Yeah. That's Eva.
Um, so some alternatives to guide dogs have been floated.
Oh yes.
Um, guide pigeon, namely guide horses.
Ooh, okay. Logistically a little tricky.
Yeah.
Miniature specifically miniature horses,ature guide horses for people who are either afraid of dogs or who cannot bear to
grieve the dog.
Because the Labrador Retriever, I think the average age is like 12 to 14.
Yep.
12 to 15.
Not long enough.
Not long enough.
So a miniature horse can live for about 30 years.
Have they thought about a Galapagos tortoise?
I do not. That will outlive them forever. That is so true. 30 years. Have they thought about a Galapagos tortoise? I don't know.
That will outlive them forever.
That is so true.
I think famously they're a little bit slow.
Slow and steady, please.
Slow and steady, that is true.
Sorry.
We will get to Coles.
We will get there.
We will get there.
It will take a bit.
A full size horse wouldn't fit in a cafe door, but a mini horse will.
It's a miniature horse.
Yes. Is it leading also by the hand or are you riding said horse?
No, it's leading.
Okay.
Leading by the hand.
By the door.
That would be amazing.
As you're sitting on it.
That would be amazing.
That's pretty awesome.
That's-
Took holes.
If you could do it.
Yeah.
That is awesome.
So, according to Wikipedia, the idea of a guide horse for the blind dates back to 1943. That's pretty awesome. If you could do it. Yeah. That is awesome.
So according to Wikipedia, the idea of a guide horse for the blind dates back to 1943.
Wow.
If not earlier, there's a little case of it in a movie called The Blocked Trail, where
there's a little dwarf horse that guides a blind miner.
But the, let me, what's it, there's the first horse. This is, okay. The first,
the first trainee horse on record is called Twinkie. And I love that. I love that so much.
And I can't stop thinking about this. So from the start, these people, this family
called the Berlinsons, they developed this rigorous training program for miniature horses
that was really similar to the guide dogs. They had systematic desensitization. So they're
like getting Twinkie used to, Twinkie and her colleagues used to everything, cats, things
like that. But the first time they took a miniature horse into the grocery store, it did grab a Snickers
off the shelf.
Oh no.
Okay.
But for its, you know, person that was guiding.
Yes.
Maybe they also sensed that their blood sugar was a little low.
They were like, have this, have a Snickers.
You're not yourself.
You seem hungry.
Oh dear.
And never shop hungry. They always said're not yourself. You seem hungry. Oh dear. And never shop hungry.
They always say never grow so hungry. You end up buying so much junk. That's true. So one of the
first person to use a guide horse was Dan Shaw. At age of 17, he was diagnosed with retinitis
pigmentosa, which is an incurable eye disease that deteriorates vision over time. So there's also a
lot of, I just want to speak on when, when we think there's like, I think
there's a misconception that you are sighted or you are blind.
Yeah.
And that you, if you are blind, you see absolutely nothing.
And that if you are sighted, you see absolutely everything.
And that's not necessarily the way that it works.
You can be legally blind, but be able to see a bit, or, you know, you might have patches
in your field of vision that are just a bit different.
There's all these different types of retinitis pigmentosus is a certain type where there
are there are sort of patches missing.
I guess.
Yep.
And they will change over time.
I had a friend who had this and she was really great that we went to uni together and no
one knew how to really help her with it because it
was drama school and it was 10 years ago.
So she used to go, because we would be in this giant room and look across the room just
with our contact and say, you, you, you, you.
And everyone had to know when it was them.
Yeah.
But Lauren, my friend, could not see that well.
And so it would just bounce
around the room going, you, you, you, Lauren. And I was like, just pick a different game,
pick a different game. And she thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
You, Lauren.
She was really great. She was fabulous.
A good friend of mine, Kate, is also vision impaired. And I worked with her and she walked
into the office once and I flipped
her off and then realised she couldn't see me flipping her off because she was too far
away so I yelled, Kate I'm flipping you off.
I think that's good.
That's nice.
That's accessibility baby.
That's right.
It's being inclusive.
Yes.
I flip everyone off.
You genuinely do.
I genuinely do.
Especially the customers.
Especially the customers.
So Dan Shaw in 1998 he attended a school for the blind to learn basic skills such as
how to read Braille, preparing for more vision loss.
However, he said he was shocked at how few options he had because he didn't want to
struggle with a white cane.
Some people love the cane.
It's very different, very personal.
But he couldn't bear the idea of having a guide dog because the grief he'd experienced
when his beloved pet dog died after 10 years was so painful that he was like, I can't go
through that time and time again.
So he was like, okay, well, in 99, the Berlissons have created the Guide Horse Foundation to
provide miniature horses as assistance animals.
I love this so much.
Mostly in rural environments, I should point out.
That makes the most sense, yes.
I think that's helpful to know. But Shaw heard about the Berlinson's experimental program
and he was really interested because he was like, okay, they can live like 30 to 40 years.
So I'm not going to have to grieve anytime soon. He applied to be the first person in
the world to use a guide horse and they
started training Cuddles for sure.
Cuddles!
Cuddles much more successful than Twinkie, obviously, didn't eat any Snickerses.
On March 6, 2002, he flew in and he met Cuddles for the first time and after some introductory
work they sent Shaw and Cuddles into a crowded store where the aisles were jammed with merchandise and they successfully navigated the store.
Oh, good job, Cuddles.
Yeah, it was really, really beautiful. So yeah, that's the end of the story. They got
together and they worked together for a long time. He said people scoffed at guide dogs
and using shepherds to get around. Now they're scuffing at me and my guide horse.
They were kind of, we kind of doing it now, but it worked well.
And it's just a funnier image.
It's so sweet.
But you're right.
We're used to dogs and labs aren't small dogs.
Like they can take up a bit of space and we're kind of used to that.
Is the smallest horse smaller than the biggest Labrador?
Great question.
Great question.
Yeah, probably not.
Yeah, probably similar. Probably similar. Great question. Yeah. Probably not.
Yeah, probably similar.
Probably similar.
Probably exactly the same.
My first bike was called Cuddles.
I just wanted to add that in there too.
Was it?
Your first bike.
Yeah.
And I didn't name it that.
It had like on the, it had like a, instead of a basket,
it had like a little zip up bag on the front
and it said Cuddles on it.
And it had Cuddles written on the side.
A strange choice for a kid's bike.
Yeah.
Calling it Cuddles. That's cute. But then in my family, we didn't call it Jess's bike. It was Cuddles written on the side. A strange choice for a kid's bike. Yeah. Calling it cuddles, but then in my family, we didn't call it Jess's bike.
It was cuddles.
Cuddles. Cuddles.
Jess's guide bike.
That's so cute.
It's really cute.
That is so wholesome and so lovely.
Yeah, that's how they- that's what they do.
The biggest standout for me is a great dog named Salty.
Yeah.
That's a great dog name.
Yeah.
Who names them?
OK, so that's a great question.
So guide dogs, they will have a litter, especially here.
So this is how we do it in Guide Dogs Victorian, Guide Dogs Australia.
When a dog has a litter, they get names with that.
They might be the e-litter and they will all be called like Eva, Amelia, things like that.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Eric.
They get to the X litter, it's harder.
It really truly is.
There are like Xavier's and Xander's and things.
Yeah, my friend's guide dog is Zetta.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
There you go.
You can only have one working dog that has that name.
Oh, okay.
So there will never be.
So I met a seeing eye dog called Eva, which means there are the two, two, like there's
a guide dog and there's a seeing eye dog and they're both called Eva.
Yep.
And until one of them retires, there won't be another one.
Wow.
And then that name can be carried on once the next one retires.
So there's only so many names.
Are you a little bit glad you got a good name?
Oh, I am glad I got a good name.
Oh my God.
Imagine if I got.
Toady or something.
Yeah, come on.
That's great.
It would be great.
Yeah.
Toady the dog.
Unfortunately, this is my beautiful dog.
She's called Toady.
This is Roberta.
Yeah.
And we can't shorten it.
We can't.
You know, Eva's good.
You can't change it.
Yeah.
It says it on her little jacket.
Yeah. Her little ambassador dog jacket.
It says Eva. That's so cute.
People always go, what's her name?
And I got Eva and they go, oh, it says it on the jacket.
Sorry.
I say, yes, it does.
It does. You fool.
Everyone's laughing at you.
Now, a late possible ignorant question here at the end.
The difference between a guide dog and a seeing eye dog?
Same thing. Are Interchangeable terms?
They are, they're not.
Well, I mean, people know what you mean, but they're doing the same job,
essentially, but they're two different associations.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
So they're kind of like difference between, I don't know, McDonald's and KFC.
They're both selling you some food of the same general, that's going
to do the same thing for you.
But you know, people have preferences and they work slightly differently.
Right.
But just like, yeah, the layman would refer to them as either would say that's seeing
iDog or that's a guide dog, not knowing that they're two different things kind of.
Yeah, they're kind of, they're brands.
Yeah, interesting.
Companies. Yeah, whole training companies of, they're brands. Yeah, interesting. Companies, yeah, whole training companies.
But they use different dogs.
I can sort of tell the difference between a guide dog or a seeing eye dog.
I think that the seeing eye dog, in Australia at least, I think the guide dogs tend to be
a bit taller.
I don't know why.
Interesting.
Yeah, but there are also lots of different types of labs.
So there are American labs and English labs and I suppose the training program is probably
different. Sorry, the training program is probably different.
Sorry, the breeding program is probably different. Yeah.
Yeah.
That would make sense, I guess.
Or they, yeah, they're using a different pool of dogs.
Yeah.
Yeah. Different pool of dogs.
But I know that Guide Dogs is obviously like an international, widely recognized brand.
So that was actually a good question, Dave.
Yeah.
Well done.
Because I was-
I felt a little bit silly asking.
In my head I was like, you fucking idiot. Yeah. They're the same thing, you idiot. Yeah. Well done, because I was- I felt a little bit silly asking. In my head, I was like, you fucking idiot.
Yeah, absolutely fair.
They're the same thing, you idiot.
Yeah.
And they're not.
So you were right.
No, they're not.
They're not the same thing, but they have similar jobs.
That's cool.
That was a really fun report because it was informative, but also we had a bit of fun
along the way, you know?
Yes.
That's beautiful.
I mean, you have to think about dogs a lot.
Something that we all love.
We love that.
We have to think about dogs.
I know I was very serious the whole time and I, that's
because I'm very serious about dogs.
Yeah, you're a very serious person.
I'm a serious girl. Yeah.
I have serious.
She can do serious.
If you're casting a movie, she can do serious.
I can do serious black from the, what's he from? Game of Thrones?
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter.
That's what I said.
That's what I said.
Game of Thrones. Harry Potter, what is that? I've That's what I said. I'm off the throne.
Harry Potter, what is that?
I've never even heard of that.
Is that a millennial thing?
I'm young.
You love Harry Potter.
Shut up.
You're too young.
I do.
I listen to Stephen Fry every night, but I don't agree with JK Rowling.
No, nobody does.
I just want to be clear.
Just in case someone hears me say, oh, I like Harry Potter.
I'm one of those pathetic millennials that loves Harry Potter.
I can't do anything about it.
Sorry.
But you didn't know Sirius Black.
You're unbelievable.
I didn't know.
I always go to sleep when I listen to it.
As soon as they say Sirius Black, you fall asleep.
I go, no, no.
Say it again.
Sirius Black.
She's gone.
So you fart a lot, but your sleep is quiet.
Shoo, shoo. Woke up by your own fart. So your farts are loud, but your sleep is quiet.
Shoo, shoo.
Woken up by your own fart.
I have farted myself awake so many times.
I can't tell you how many times.
I have farted and woken myself up and then I've woken up Tim and Tim is laughing.
Well, we started with farts, we ended with farts.
That was a great report, Michelle.
Absolutely loved hearing about that. Thank you. Well, we started with farts, we ended with farts. That was a great report, Michelle.
I absolutely loved hearing about that.
Thank you.
And of course, we can support guide dogs Victoria.
Yeah.
Would be a great thing to get involved with.
Please do. Become a puppy raiser.
Raise those pups. Raise a puppy.
Hug the plastic one in the shops.
Hug the plastic. I would like to advocate for you all to go and hug the plastic one.
Put 20 cents in there.
I loved him so much.
And then I just wasn't scared of labs. Yeah, because of the plastic one. Put 20 cents in there. I loved them so much. They're so good.
And then I just wasn't scared of labs.
Yeah, because of the plastic ones.
You're scared of every other dog.
You hug them all.
Yeah.
But if you do, if you are afraid of dogs
and you see an ambassador dog, they're the best dog.
That's your best exposure therapy dog.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a gateway dog.
Yes, yeah, very good gateway dog.
I've watched Eva win over a lot of non-dog people.
Yeah, she has.
I've got a lot of friends. No, I have some friends who aren't dog people and they like
Eva.
Actually, Eva and Goose are a good combo.
They're a great combo.
Goose is a beautiful boy.
Goose is a beautiful boy.
Goose is very cute.
To win, yeah, because he's chaotic and kind of silly and he brings out a bit of goof in
Eva as well.
Makes people laugh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big goof.
Yeah, and he'll jump at you and it's a bit scary, but then you're like, oh, he's all
right. He's okay. He's all right.
He's all right.
They're a good team.
Eva sometimes puts her hand on her head and goes, stop, stop that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Enough.
Enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's very, she's very calming.
Like Rafiki.
Yes.
Wise.
Wise.
Goose is Simba.
Anyway, I'll stop bringing up my dog, but it's fun.
We're talking about dogs, baby.
We're talking about dogs.
All I think about is Simba. Anyway, I'll stop bringing up my dog, but it's fun. We're talking about dogs, baby.
We're talking about dogs.
All I think about is my dog.
I was going to talk about all the dog jobs.
And then I was like, the last time you did a report, Michelle, went for quite a time.
Yeah. Don't talk about all the dog jobs.
There's a few. There's a few.
Maybe we'll get you back for dog jobs part two.
Dog jobs part two. That'd be cute.
This time it's personal.
Here's a bonus episode and we just list them.
Yeah, that's actually quite fun.
Just listing the dog dogs
We even have a one sentence description of each dog. Police dog. Sled dog. They help police
Sled dog they help a sled, but they've got to be very well researched like that. Yeah
Firefighter dog. They help the fire
How do you think fires happen? See what killer dog. Yeah.
They're so cute with their little clues.
All of their little jobs.
They're so cute.
They turn up in the middle of the night, you're like, don't.
Don't murder me, don't.
That's silly.
No.
And yes, okay, so we've got UK and Ireland tour.
Yeah, coming up very soon.
Album. Coming up very soon.
Please book ahead.
Album is out. Don't book on the day. Book now, so I know you're coming. Yeah, coming up very soon. Coming up very soon. Please book ahead. Album is out.
Don't book on the day.
Book now so I know you're coming.
Yeah, performers love it when you book it.
It's such a relief when you see you refresh the ticket sales and it goes up by a couple.
You go, yeah, a little endorphin.
It's so nice.
It's so good.
Because the UK always comes through for me,
but sometimes they come through two days before and I say, guys, come on.
Yeah. Plum spooked.
Please.
You're up there in Norwich. What else you got going on? You're not going to be busy
in eight weeks time. Just book it now.
What are you, Bristol? What are you, Manchester? What are you doing? London specifically. I'm
playing the Clapham Grand, which is quite large.
It's a beautiful venue.
I am so excited to play that room. It's going to be sick.
That'll be so nice.
Yeah, I'm excited.
So buy tickets to that.
The album is out.
There's a book coming out as well.
Yes.
There's probably eight other projects that will be announced in the next week.
And Refringe is already locked in for August.
And Refringe is happening in August.
Yeah, on sale.
So yeah, nice to see you, Michelle.
Oh, I'm coming back to do Stampamptown in Netflix is a joke festival.
And that's in LA, is it?
Yes, that's in Los Angeles.
Fantastic.
I think it's at the Bourbon Room, which is where somebody famous sadly passed away, I
think.
Wow.
Yeah.
Think about that.
Chris Bourbon.
Probably.
Probably Chris Bourbon, the inventor of Bourbon.
Wow.
I'm going to be thanking him for his service.
He's a famous person.
Thank you, Chris.
Little pause there for Chris? Thank you, Chris.
Yeah.
Thank you, Chris.
Little pause there for Chris.
Thank you so much.
Michelle, we loved it.
Thank you.
We love you.
And we hope to see you very soon.
Thank you.
As we farewell Michelle Brazier from the studio.
Bon voyage, Michelle.
We say we've got, we're, she's on a ship
and we're holding hankies.
Waving us.
Go well, think of me.
Write often.
Bye bye.
As you go off to record an album, write a book, do a huge tour.
It's too much.
Probably write and star in a movie, a TV show, she's got to do it all.
And I just, I just want to write her code tales.
Oh no, please.
Can we be in your movie? I don't think that's too much to ask. Can I just be I just want to write a code tales. Oh no, please. Can we be in your movie?
I don't think that's too much to ask.
Can I just be a background character in a movie?
We'll play radio presenters.
Yeah. Hi, I'm Grub Grub.
And I'm Dee Dee.
No, that's Grubby and Dee Dee. They already exist.
I couldn't think of anything original.
I need to go. OK.
I'm Sharon. And I'm Sheckle Man.
Sharon and the Sheckle Man.
Yeah, that's good. Kiss them. That's good stuff. All right. There you go. And I'm Sheckleman. Sharon and the Sheckleman. Yeah, that's good.
That's good stuff. All right, there you go. We've written it for you.
Yeah, Michelle. Good luck.
Now we also want a writer's credit. Anyway, Michelle's gone. It's just Dave and I back in
the room. And because it's the most important part of the show, everyone's favorite part of the show
where we get to spend some time just drinking in
the ambiance of our wonderful Patreon supporters.
Yeah, they smell fantastic.
They smell so fresh.
You drink them in, oh my goodness.
So we have some shout outs to do and the first little section that we do in this Patreon
section of the podcast is the fact quote or question.
I think it actually has a little jingle that goes something like this.
Fact quote or question?
Ding!
Ah, he always remembers the ding.
She always remembers the jingle.
And I hope this isn't offensive, but I'm going to try and step into the shoes of the great
man Matt Stewart here this week.
I'm offended.
Okay.
I'm pretty offended.
Let me apologize in advance.
Okay. Because what people do on Let me apologize in advance. Okay.
Because what people do on this, the Sydney Sheinberg deluxe memorial package rest in
peace or above, these people get to give themselves a title.
They get to submit a factor quote or a question, a brag, a suggestion, a recipe, an announcement.
Can be anything you want it to be.
Absolutely.
Basically, they just get to contribute something to the show.
And Matt usually reads these out. And like Matt, I'm not going to read them before I
read them out.
There's no proofreading whatsoever here.
Yeah.
It's really, legally, I think, covers us.
But somehow people do try to trip Matt up by putting in tongue twisters and he just
breezes through them.
But he can't get through a regular sentence without fumbling.
But a tongue twister?
It's amazing. It's like his brain
goes into autopilot and he just, it's like he blacks out and just does it. It's beautiful.
Like when he speaks French and he just nails it completely. Every time.
He honks. He honks in French. Beautiful language. Language of love.
Our first one comes this week from Nemo. Oh, hello Nemo. Giving themselves- Happy to have found you.
The title is, let's get started.
No, it's not.
The title Nemo has given itself is Biker of the Podcast.
Ooh.
And then Nemo is my motorcycle club road name.
Cool.
That's so badass, Nemo.
I don't think we have any other bikers.
So, like, as in nobody's given themselves the title of biker of the podcast.
So, Nemo, happy to have you aboard, my friend.
Yeah, my goodness. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to get, you know,
piss off the whole club.
Oh, my God, no. Oh, my God.
And they've given us a tattoo request?
Question mark. Ooh, interesting.
OK, I wonder who it's for, let's find out.
Here we go.
Ahoy, I want a new tattoo.
Okay, it's for Nemo, great.
Fantastic, that's a lot less stressful.
Somebody was choosing a tattoo for me.
I don't know how I'd feel about it.
This is my list of tattoo ideas.
This is so good.
Love this.
Whatever you three agree on,
I'd hopefully you'll take two.
I'll get, I give you my word
Whoa, whatever we choose also it says in brackets also location on my body
Awesome. Oh my god. There are so many options here. I'm gonna read them out to you. Okay tattoo ideas. Oh
Okay, each tattoo I've seen now is the idea and the location great
I also just want to flag that when we did an episode on tattoos, I remember Matt's
question was, what does Dave have a big one of, Matt have a small one of, and Jess
doesn't have it all.
And we're like, is he doing an episode on dicks?
But it was tattoos because I didn't have any.
And now I have the most.
Oh my God.
As in I have the most.
Jess just covered her.
She's got a big back piece.
It's Batman versus the Joker.
That one's supposed to be private.
Sorry.
I have the most, what am I trying to say?
I have the most, the highest number of tattoos,
but I still think in terms of skin surface, the least.
Oh yeah, cause you've got like quite line art style.
Yeah, I've got lots of little ones.
Anyway, so I'm excited for this.
All right, I'm ready.
OK, these are the options.
Confetti Pomegranate.
I nearly said confetti Pomeranian.
Oh my god.
Ripe Calf.
Confetti Pomegranate.
I love that.
It's a good fruit.
I fucking love Pomegranate.
Cute Spider.
Rite Thigh.
OK. Stylized Right thigh. Okay.
Stylized Nelgene.
Right tricep.
I don't know what a Nelgene is.
What's coming up is water bottles.
Oh.
With a lid that...
Is this maybe an overseas thing or...
It looks like one you take hiking.
Yeah, cool.
Okay.
Stylized water bottle.
Yep.
Location? Right trice hiking. Yeah, cool. Okay, stylized water bottle. Yep, location.
Right tricep.
Okay.
Fly agaric mushroom coming out of crystals, right forearm.
Oh my God, this is so exciting. You speak a language that I do not understand.
What a list.
Fly agaric, which is like the, okay,
that's the name of those toadstool mushrooms that are red't understand. What a list. Fly agaric, which is like the, okay, that's the name of a, those toadstool
mushrooms that are, that are red, like a classic cartoon mushroom.
Love those fairy mushrooms. Coming out of crystals.
Yeah, right forearm. Comic book slug holding a knife. Ankle.
For me, that's winning so far. Yeah. Chulip behind left ear. I love chulips.
Blue cornflower behind right ear.
Okay.
Bowline on forearm. Mm-hmm.
What does that mean? Bowline, like a type of knot. Oh my gosh. I think you're an outdoorsy type.
Oh my god, I've just, I'm looking at the list now as well.
We're about halfway. Yeah, they're long, I love it.
Skyrim dragon symbol, right tricep.
I can't imagine.
I wouldn't recognize it, so that's out for me.
Yep.
Vault Boy or Nuka Cola cap right tricep.
A lot of Googling required for this one.
Oh, Vault Boy is from that game.
He's like that blonde guy from that game.
Yep.
From Fallout.
Yeah.
Okay.
Did you know that?
That blonde.
Well, I knew it from that blonde guy from that game.
Okay.
Or Nuka Cola cap.
I don't know what that is.
Okay.
It looks like that's a blonde guy from that game.
Yeah. I don't know. Yep. From Fallout. Yeah. Okay. Did you know that? That blonde- well I knew it from that blonde guy from that game.
Okay. Or Nuka Cola Cap. I don't know what that is.
Okay.
It looks like just like a bottle cap type thing. Okay.
Triforce.
Right arm.
I think you can just eliminate anything you don't understand.
That's from Zelda. Okay.
Okay, great.
I knew I'd heard of that.
Octopus right head.
Octopus on your head? What? Rhinoc Octopus right head. Is an octopus on your head?
What? Rhinoceros beetle right tummy. Oh, rhinoceros beetles are cool.
They are cool. Seal on chest.
Doesn't say whether it's the singer or the animal.
I hope it's the singer. If it's the singer, I would back that.
That's my favourite so far.
Something inspired by not all who wander are lost.
Something inspired by not all that are alone are lonely.
Something I have. 69 in Roman Union rules already.
So it can be really dumb slash silly.
My right and left upper arm is inside and outside from elbow down on the bone, but
not the top. My left forearm and my left wrists are used up.
Oh, my God. It doesn't have to be from the list.
In fact, don't choose from the list.
Oh my God. Right to the red head.
Just get Jess and Dave tattooed on you.
Jess and Dave forever.
That'd be great. Or seal the singer on your chest.
Or from the list, my favorite was comic book slug holding a knife.
Yeah, that's pretty good. I like comic book slug.
I also liked cute spider.
I don't like spiders, but a cute one.
Cute one. I also like confetti pomeranian.
I know that was my interpretation.
Yeah, but that's pretty good.
I like that.
Rhinoceros beetle right tummy is pretty good, too.
Yeah.
Imagine having a little beetle on your tummy.
I've got a friend, well, I've seen beetle tattoos and they look pretty cool.
Yeah, my worry about your tummy is you are locking yourself in for me for being quite fit forever.
I'm definitely planning to blow out soon.
So, having the beetle there, like there'll be a lot of stretching going on, if you know what I'm saying.
I feel like you- I do know what you're saying.
Yeah.
OK, well, I mean, Nemo said they're going to get whatever we say, so we need to agree
on one.
Oh my gosh, but now we've been told, don't take it from the list.
Well, we've definitely said Jess and Dave forever.
Jess and Dave forever.
And the number four.
EVA.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's option number one.
And now let's just choose one from the list and then they can choose between.
So do you want to go the slug? Comic book slug holding a knife.
I think that's quite cool.
Yeah, I think that's pretty fun.
You happy with that?
Yeah, I am.
Great. Nemo, are you happy with that?
So it's either slug or Jess and Dave forever. Don't leave out Matt. He's not here. It's
kind of funny if it's just Jess and Dave forever. Don't leave out Matt. He's not here. It's kind of funny if it's just Jess and Dave.
That actually would be so funny, Nemo.
But no pressure, because I do feel like you're marking yourself forever.
So really think about this.
Yeah, really think about in 50 years, will I feel good about having a podcast that ended decades ago?
Decade ago?
Decade ago.
How long have we been here for?
Another 40.
What's my contract? Decades ago. Decade ago. Decade ago. How long have we been here for?
Another 40.
What's my contract?
I've made a terrible mistake.
But you probably will appreciate having Seal on your chest forever. La da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I genuinely love it. OK, Nemo, go well. We wish you well. Wish you well, Nemo.
Next up, our Fact or a Question, Fact or a Question, God, it's hard to say.
Our focus is David Loring.
David. He's given themselves the nickname Soon to be International Dave.
Oh, Dave offered to come on a hike with me when I was in Tasmania.
That's very nice.
Just if I didn't want to go alone, which was so sweet.
Maybe you didn't know. And if I had given him more notice, I would have done it.
But it was like the day before.
I was like, no, Dave, you can't.
That's crazy.
Don't do it, Dave.
Don't drive two hours to come over here.
Oh, my God. But Dave's given us a combo brag plus shout out.
Ooh.
Here we go.
Excited for this.
Hey, mate, I hit my long service leave a couple of years ago.
Okay.
That is a brag.
That's a foreign concept to some American listeners.
In Australia and other parts of the world, I think the UK as well.
Maybe?
I don't know.
When you work at a place for seven to ten years, depending on the place, you are entitled
to long service leave.
So you can just take like three months off fully paid.
Yeah, that rules.
I've never had long service leave.
No. This is the longest job I've ever had.
I nearly got there at the project.
Did you? I got five and a half years in full time there, but then, you know,
I had to spread my wings.
Do we offer long service leave?
Because we'd all be coming up for that.
Yeah, we would be.
Unfortunately, we all start at the same time.
We will have to try and schedule it.
Yeah, stagger it.
Yeah.
That's right.
Hmm.
All right.
Well, if you want to go away later in the year,
you have my permission.
Thank you so much.
I might take you up on that.
I've already booked it.
I hit my long service leave a couple of years ago,
Dave Wrights, and I have finally pulled the thumb out
and actually planned what to do with it.
Awesome.
So first off, a little brag that I'll be off work from September through November this year,
there you go a couple of months awesome and assuming my visas get approved I'll be spending
about half of that time traveling through Azerbaijan, Georgia, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan
and Turkey. Fantastic and in the case of, I got bitten by that particular travel bug, seeing
the photos from good friend and fellow Patreon supporter Ryan North's travels there a few
years ago. So I thought I should give him an on pod shout out.
That was a weird place to stop and take a breath.
Well, I'm reading this. From fellow Patreon supporter Ryan North's travels there a few
years ago.
From Ryan North North travels there a few years ago. From Ryan North...... travels there.
Not Ryan North, who traveled there a few years ago.
There you go, you happy with that?
Uh-huh.
Sorry, just editing on the fly here, Dave.
So I thought I should give him an on-pod shout out, not least of all because he was also
the person who a few years ago recommended a certain fact-based comedy podcast to me.
Even if I do think his warnings about the fucked Bermuda Triangle episode weren't
as necessary as he thought at the time.
Yeah, we've done way more fucked things since.
Yeah. Thank you, David.
And thank you to Ryan.
That's awesome. Congrats, Dave.
And glad that you're taking advantage of that sweet, sweet long service leave,
having a little adventure.
Oh, good for the soul. Yeah, that actually is so great.
And I've never been to any of those countries, so let us know how they are.
And Dave's our little travel bug, so if he hasn't been there, you're doing all right.
Exactly.
You've been a lot of places.
I've been a fair few places, but there's a lot more to go.
And finally this week, we've only got three this week because Matt is away.
He's the master of the Fact of Quota question.
And to avoid confusion, we only had three at the time of recording, we think.
Oh yeah, I don't know.
He hasn't copied and pasted any extras in.
Dad's away and we're falling apart.
But a big shout out to, if you are on the Fact of Quota question level, put them in
now so we can do them in the coming weeks, please.
Please, for the love of God.
Please. All the info of what to do there is on Petron, so hopefully you've done it in the past, you can do it again.
Give us your facts, if you're going on a holiday soon.
I love to hear about travel, I genuinely do.
Our final one that comes from Simon Ma.
Who has given themselves the title of the Genial Brigadier General of Bridges in General.
Love that.
Wow, I think Matt would have got even better than me there, but.
I think you did pretty well.
But I forgot to say.
Seven out of ten.
The Genial Brigadier General of Bridges in General.
That's good.
Brigadier.
And, uh, Simon's giving us a brag.
Awesome.
We welcome a brag.
We love a brag.
Oh, wow.
Hi. This is my inaugural Fact Quota question, and as such, I'd like to throw down a special
brag on behalf of someone else. My dear friend, Kieran, who will be welcoming their first born
in the coming months.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh my God. It says here, Matt, for this next section, could you please use your fantastic
voice talents and choose an accent to deliver the following message, any will do.
Okay, Dave, you are a trained actor, so I believe in you to do this format.
Okay, how do you want me to do it?
You could do it as a Southern sheriff.
You do a pretty fun Southern Sheriff kind of voice.
He's already doing the mouth.
Oh my God.
Let me just tell you.
Let me just tell you.
Let me just tell you.
I'm going to walk this down a little bit.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, I've got a message here and I've got to read it out to one of my favorite friends.
And I actually don't know their name, but they are one of my absolute favorite friends.
So let me just tell you.
Let me just tell you.
I don't know what to tell you all in person all the time but I cannot stress how
incredibly excited I am for you to become a parent. I know your child will be so amazingly
loved and cared for and that you'll do your best to transform this small human into a weapon of
mass destruction, for good I'm going to say. You're an amazing person and I cannot wait to meet future Bob.
Oh my God, Simon.
That's so lovely.
And that says in brackets here.
That is so nice.
Cheers, Matt.
You really knocked it out of the park with that one.
And a special congratulations to Dave on the birth of their child.
You're an inspiration to virgins everywhere.
But seriously, love your work.
Thank you so much.
Really appreciate that.
Jess, your laugh brings me and others so much joy.
You are a treasure.
My laugh is my baby.
And I share it with the world.
And Matt, our dear Matt, you make my side split with laughter.
Keep up the great, great work, gang.
Simon, you are fricking delightful.
That- oh my gosh.
I feel lifted by that.
That is so nice.
And lovely that your friends got the child on their way.
I love to see people doing that.
And I hope I'm not making wrong assumptions, but I love to see men talking like this.
Yes.
That's fricking refreshing and really nice.
That's right.
Really nice.
Thank you, Simon.
That's great.
And congratulations, Kieran.
Very exciting stuff.
Kids, huh?
They're pretty great.
They're pretty great.
I've got to say, Andy, Kieran, best of luck.
Beautifully said.
No, in a very positive sense.
I think you're going to be, you're going to be part of a great, very great special family.
And obviously you've got Uncle Simon rare.
Yeah.
And you've got Uncle Simon rare.
And you've got Uncle Simon rare.
And you've got Uncle Simon rare.
And you've got Uncle Simon rare. And you've got Uncle Simon rare. And you've got Uncle Simon rare great, very great special family. And obviously you've got a Uncle Simon rare ready to step in.
And that's a fun role too.
You're my uncle Simon.
I am your uncle Simon.
I've been asking you to call me that for years.
It finally makes sense.
Um, thank you to those people.
That's all we have for Fact Quoted Questions, isn't it?
So thank you to Simon, Dave and Nemo.
And now it's time to, uh, give some shout outs to the people. That's all we have for Fact Quoted Questions, isn't it? So thank you to Simon, Dave and Nemo.
And now it's time to give some shout outs to some other people who support us on the
shout out level or above over on patreon.com slash do go on pod.
And we usually come up with a bit of a game.
I thought, what if we give them, you know how Michelle was saying that the litters are
named the same first letter?
Explain it to me.
Oh, yes.
There's a letter.
Eva, Ethan, Erica, they all have the same first letter of their name.
Are these all part of the same litter?
Yeah, okay.
We could do that.
Or we could like, yeah, maybe.
I don't know. Do we make them all part of the same litter or do we
match a dog to them based on the first initial?
That's quite fun, too.
All right. OK, let's try that.
So we're going to name their litter mate.
That's right. Yep.
You want me to kick off? Yeah.
I would love to thank, first of all, from East Lansing in Minnesota.
Am I saying this correctly?
I can never remember.
In Michigan.
Oh my God, that was in Missouri as well, am I?
East Lansing, Michigan.
I'd like to thank Erica T.
Erica T.
Little mate.
Elf.
Elf.
Elf the dog.
It's pretty cute.
That's really cute. Little blonde lab called Elf. Elf. Elf. Elf the dog. It's pretty cute. That's really cute. Little blonde lab called Elf.
Elf. Elf. Elfie. Fuck me. That is so cute. Yes. That's very cute. Well done Dave. Elf.
Thank you so much. I was going for Eric. And Eric's name is Erica. And all I could think
of was Eric. Eric. Or Eva. But I was like no we've had an. No, and you gave a couple of other, Ethan would burn through a few Es.
I've already done the Es.
Oh my gosh.
Well, that's the last E for this batch.
They're all good.
Oh God.
I'll thank someone as well.
I would love to thank from East Geelong.
Ooh, is that in Victoria?
Ooh, I'm not sure.
Yes it is.
Uh, I would love to thank Hannah Stolls.
Hannah Stolls.
H.
Brother or sister.
I mean, I've got one ready to go if you've got one.
Let's do it at the same time.
One, two, three.
Harry.
Hercules.
Hercules way better.
Hercules is way better.
Everyone's got a dog called Harry.
How did I ever met that many Hercules?
We just talked about if we ever got a brother for Humphrey that Hercules would be a high
possibility. Humphrey and Hercule.
We also like Harold.
Harold's good.
Like I think cause he's an age, we want another age name, but.
That rules.
I've thought about that too.
And then, um, realised the other day that Goose's pet insurance is more
expensive than my health insurance.
Is that true?
Twice the price actually.
What?
So yeah, Goose is expensive.
So he's going to be an only child forever.
Yeah.
Okay.
As much as I'd love him to have a friend, I cannot afford it.
Or you could give up your insurance.
Yeah, true.
Have you thought about that?
I have, genuinely.
I'm not kidding, you cannot do that.
I'll just pay more in tax, it's fine.
Okay, actually, maybe that'd be better for everyone.
I could use your money for the tax system
And you often do private health insurance. I genuinely believe is a complete scam. But yeah, it's fucked
Insurance probably is too. I'm used to that. Haven't you? Oh heaps. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, we've made money on them
Thank from pool yall Poo-yallup.
Poo-yallup?
Poo-yallup.
From Western Australia.
Fantastic.
I haven't heard that.
I reckon you got that right somewhere in there.
Which one do you reckon?
Poo-yallup.
Poo-yallup.
That's Brian Doothy.
Brian Duthy.
Duthy.
I reckon that's Duthy.
Duthy.
Brian Duthy. On your duthuffy. Duffy. Brian Duffy. On your Duffy. So B?
Yeah.
Brendan. Brendan the dog. I love it. Imagine having a dog named Brendan. Oh my gosh. It's WA. It's in
It's in Washington. I misread that. Oh!
As WA Western Australia, so it's probably not pronounced. I don't think we- No.
We- Puyallup. They're not saying that in America, are they?
Absolutely not.
I've got a pronunciation from the Google.
Puyallup. Puyallup.
Puyallup. Puyallup.
Puyallup.
We nailed it.
Brian probably is doofy then, isn't it?
Do you think? Yeah, maybe.
Anyway, Brian and Brendan the dog.
I've got to start thinking of other words because remember Salty was my
favourite dog name from this report.
Oh, that was good.
Salty.
Yeah.
I love that.
But I do like, human names to dogs are fun.
Very fun.
I did consider naming my dog Chips.
That's a good name.
Or then we'd call him Chippy and he loves Chippies, so it would have worked.
I think a little sibling for Goose called Chippy would be absolutely perfect.
Goose, so fuck, don't tempt me.
I can't afford another one.
Goose and Chippy.
I would like to thank now from Location Unknown.
Oh no, it's my turn.
Oh yeah, sorry, it's because I did Brian twice because of the W-A-W-A conundrum.
Oh, I see, yes, yes, yes.
So sorry, please, who would you like to thank?
No, I was trying to relieve your workload, that's all.
I would love to thank, well, from Location Unknown.
Oh.
I can only assume, deep within the location, deep within the location, deep within the
fortress of the moles, Kendra.
Oh, we've got Kendra the K.
Yes.
What about Kazam?
Oh!
Kazam, the dog.
Yes! This is my therapy dog, Kazam.
Kazam, and they're a big chunky lab.
Yeah, and just like, just constantly tongue hanging out the side of its mouth.
And you're like, I'm happy, I'm fixed.
Kazam, I feel good.
Thanks, Kazam.
You're the best, Kazam.
Another K here I'd like to thank from Champaign, Illinois.
It's Christopher Chapman.
Christopher Chapman.
Christopher Chapman.
Same letter as Kazam. Kazam. We Chapman. Same litter as Kazam.
Kazam.
We've also got Kazoo.
That's good.
That's good stuff.
Kazoo.
It actually would be really hard.
Now, Michelle has said the thing where once the name's taken, you can't take it.
You'd be searching the database going, all right, well, okay.
Every regular name is taken.
Yeah.
We've got to go for Kazoo or Salty.
I've got to call that dog Waterbottle. It would be hard.
Yeah.
And I wonder if there's a committee at all, like if you go,
what do you think about this? And then everyone says, yay or nay to the name.
Well, some of the litter names of Goose's litter were pretty bad, including his.
His name was Gage.
Gage?
Yep. Why Gage? What does it mean? Great question. I don't know. It's in like... G-A-G- name was Gage. Gage? Yep.
Why Gage?
What does that mean?
Great question.
I don't know.
As in like-
G-A-G-E.
Gage.
Do you remember the litter mains?
Uh, some of them were fine.
I think there was like Ruby.
Oh, that's nice.
Uh, I can't remember now, but I can't remember them because the other owners changed the names.
Oh, okay.
So there's like, there's an Onyx, there's a-
Onyx?
Onyx, there's-
Are they also Darkfur?
What was the big chunky boy?
Yeah, they were all, they were all Brindle.
Anyway, yeah.
Some, some, some names that you go, oh, I think we are going to change that one.
Yeah.
Gage.
Gage.
Get out of it. That's really great. May I thank someone? Christopher Chapman change that one, yeah. Gage. Gage. Get out of it.
That's really great.
May I thank someone?
Christopher Chapman?
Kazoo, sorry.
Kazoo.
I would also like to thank another person from the Fortress of the Moles, very mysterious,
Hendrick Doob.
Hendrick Doob.
Could be Dube.
I feel like I've heard this name before.
Have we met you, Hendrick, before?
It's a great name.
Or have you suggested a topic?
Oh, so it's an H.
Okay.
H.
I mean, Hendrick's great.
What about, oh, there's another name that we have, a girl dog, Hallie,
we think is a good one.
Humphrey and Hallie.
That's good.
H-E.
Oh, H-A.
Hallie.
I think like Hallie Berry sort of style.
Love it.
Love it.
Or Hallie from the Parent Trap.
Perfect. Perfect. Yep. I fully agree with that. Halle.
Am I up? Yes.
I'd like to thank from Twin Falls, Idaho.
It's Jordan Spellerberg.
Oh, Spellerberg.
Spellerberg. I've never heard that name before. I love it.
Jordan Spellerberg. Jordan. So it's a J.
From Twin Falls, Idaho.
What about Juicy?
Juicy is a good name.
Juicy is a good name for a dog. Juicy. Juicy. Juicy.
That's cute. Yeah.
I thought you were convincing yourself. It's good.
I thought it was a bit funny, but now I've thought about it more and I'm like,
no, I love it. Juicy.
Juicy and salty?
Yeah, that's good. Incredible stuff.
Thank you, Jordan, AKA Juicy and salty? Yeah, that's good. Incredible stuff. Thank you, Jordan, aka Juicy.
I would like to thank from Byron Center.
Also, MI.
We're back in Michigan.
Yes.
Claire Victory.
Claire Victory.
Claire with a C, Victory.
So, we've got a C. We could go.
Chips.
Chips is good.
Chippy. Chippy.
Chippy.
Chippy's cute.
Yeah.
Wasn't there an ad for chips here at some point? And it was like this little character going, Chippy!
That does sound familiar.
Matt would be able to sing you the whole song.
But he does not know his own address.
Thank you, Claire.
And finally, I would love to thank from Auburn in, what's MA?
Massachusetts.
Massachusetts.
Is correct.
Joe Da Silva.
Joe with a J.
Another J.
What about, um.
Jingle.
Jingle.
What were you going to say?
Sorry, I cut you off.
Um, maybe cut you off.
Maybe Jalapeno.
Oh!
Maybe.
Or my backup was Jess Perkins.
I don't believe- Do we have a Patreon supporter whose cat is called Jess Perkins?
I think so, yes.
Shout out to you, Jess Perkins.
The cat?
Yes.
Not you.
Not you.
Okay.
Well, look.
Jingle's cute.
Jess Perkins, obviously a perfect name. It has to be Jalapeno because it doesn't sound like a J.
Yeah. I do like to call them Jalapenos sometimes.
That's a good name. It's just fun.
It's just fun. Good name.
And people with like, oh, this is it.
I'm having a laugh. And then you go, I didn't know that.
I didn't. Oh, wow. You're so well-traveled.
Well, here we are. Here we are in this taco bill. You're so well traveled. Well, here we are.
Here we are in this taco bill.
You're so well traveled.
Wow, you're cultured.
Thank you so much to Joe, Claire, Jordan, Hendrick, Christopher, Kendra, Brian, Hannah
and Eric.
And the last thing we need to do is see if there's anybody to welcome into the Triptych
Club and oh my bloody goodness, we've got three people coming in.
Oh my God. Let me look at it now.
This week.
444.
So the Triptych Club is for people who have supported the show for three consecutive years.
They've probably already had their shout outs years ago, but they've stuck with us through
thick and thin, through our darkest times, they've been there with us.
And so we welcome them into the club.
Once you're in, you can never leave, but don't worry, it's not like, you know, not in a bad way. You're pretty happy about it.
It's cool. It's cool in here. It's chill. Oh, it's nice. We've got pool tables. We've got air hockey.
That is mostly for me. But so just ask me first if you want to use air hockey,
because if I want to use it, you can't use it. It's my air hockey table.
Okay. Matt is usually the one lifting the rope,
checking your name off the list, welcoming you in. I'm behind the bar.
So come on in. I have got pal
dog food for you this week.
You got pal? OK, that's pretty good stuff.
Yep. Got some royal canine
dry bikis if you want.
Holy shit. Some of that.
Some of the top stuff.
I got some big old bowls of water.
Communal. Communal bowls of water. Big bowls.
Communal bowls of water.
So enjoy.
And Dave, you're usually- Communal.
You're booking a band.
You're never going to believe this one.
What's happened now?
I've been booking bands for a long time now.
Long time, my friend.
I'm actually one of the most reliable geeks in Australia at this point.
That's right.
A lot of places going out of business.
But I put up new bands, I unearth old bands that you may not have heard of for a long
time.
Yeah, you've been-
I've been doing this for a long time.
I've been doing this for a long time.
I've been doing this for a long time. I've been doing this for a long time. I've been doing this for a long time. I've been doing this for a long time. in Australia at this point. That's right. A lot of pieces going out of business. But I put up new bands, on Earth, old bands that you may not have heard of for a long time.
Yeah, you resurrect dead bands.
Exactly. That's how good I am.
I get people from heaven, they're like, please, it's so great up here.
I don't want to do that anymore.
And you're like, not, not, not.
Play, play, god damn it.
Yep.
And this week, you're never going to believe it.
I've booked the Bonzo Dog Duda Band.
Whoa. Can you believe it?
I can't. We've been trying to get these guys for years.
Exactly. They've been rocking since the 60s and here they are now.
Wow. They're going to be playing some of their big hits.
Yeah. Some of their biggest songs.
Like?
Let me just check the set list here.
Bonzo Dog Duda Band. Sorry, just reading the set list. All right. And then there's the wordlist here. Bonzo Dog, Doodah Band.
Sorry, just reading the setlist.
Oh, and there's the word setlist.
Uh-huh.
Track one.
I'm the Urban Spaceman.
Oh, I love that one.
Number two, the intro and the outro.
Yep.
That's interesting to do the outro at second.
A Room with a View.
And then actually the only reason I really knew this band is the band,
another band gets the name for one of their songs, Death Cab for Cutie.
Yeah, I was born to that song.
There you go.
So, it's pretty crazy.
Is that true?
No, of course not.
I've been there in this fucking bed.
It doesn't matter what you said next, I was going to say this.
I was born, I love the, I was born.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed.
I was born in this fucking bed. I was born in this fucking bed. I was born in this fucking bed. I was born in this fucking bed. I was born in this fucking bit! It doesn't matter what you said next, I was gonna say this!
I was born to this song!
I wish I was playing music when my baby was born.
Oh my gosh.
That's so...
You know, you were born to this song.
And I would just say it no matter what song came on.
Yeah, you were born to this.
Dad, this song came out last week. You were born to this song and I would just say it to no matter what song came on. Yeah, you were born to this. I like it. Dad, this song came out last week.
You were born to this song.
That's a great bit.
That's a great...
I have forgotten.
So my best friend's kid, who I consider a niece, was born to a Fleetwood Mac song.
Really?
And I've had to ask three times because I keep forgetting what song it is.
And now I just can't, I just can't ask again.
Oh, what would be the least appropriate one?
Go your own way, go away.
Anyway, we have three people.
Loving you isn't the right thing to do.
Oh dear.
OK, three people to welcome into the club.
I'm going to read the names. Dave's going to hype them up.
I'm going to hype Dave up.
I've got my hand on his tush as he likes it.
And we're going to welcome these people in.
You're going to be clapping and cheering.
It's a welcome hand.
Welcome hand. So first up from Christchurch in New Zealand,
Ross Callahan.
Ross the Boss Callahan.
From Perth in the Australian capital territory. That's confusing. It's Aidan Sweeney. Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Oh yes, I was gonna say, he's a sweetie pie. Yes. Okay, thank you so much, I knew about it. Cause I was gonna say something about weenie,
and it just didn't work.
No, it's gonna get weird.
It's gonna get weird.
And finally from Moxie in Washington,
we are Marvel Podcast.
More like you are Marvelous Podcast.
Oh, boo boo boo boo boo, you're the best.
Go on in, how many people are you welcoming
in that podcast?
Yeah, true, this could be any number. That's in. How many people are you welcoming in that podcast? Yeah, true.
This could be any number.
That's actually a way that people could get multiple entries.
That's clever.
If you join up as a group.
Like if you-
That's sneaky.
Like the Wu-Tang Clan-
Joined up.
Would all get in.
Yeah.
Isn't it like 11 of them?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Oh my gosh.
So thank you to We Are Marvel, Aiden and Ross and welcome into the Tripp Ditch Club.
Grab a bowl of water, share it with your friends, grab some gimbals, get ready for the band,
we've already forgotten, and welcome in and thank you for your support.
Now before we get out of here, another big shout out and thank you to Michelle Brazier
for coming in for this week's episode.
Thank you.
Wonderful report, Loved it.
And yeah, Michelle's got a million different projects on the go.
So the best way to be across all of that is probably to follow her on social media.
Instagram's a good place to go.
And also, if she's coming to a place near you in the UK, in Ireland, some more shows
in the US, in Edinburgh, head over to her website, MichelleBrazier.com, I'm pretty
sure.
And yeah, check it out.
Go see her.
She's honestly one of the best in the biz.
She's the best in the biz.
She's incredible.
And finally, if you would like to suggest a topic, you can do so.
There's a link in our show notes.
It's also on our website, which is dogoonpod.com.
And you can find us on social media at Do Go On Pod across Instagram,
Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, The Works.
Absolutely. And don't forget, Do Go On, the quiz show is streaming on the
stupid old channel right now.
Yep. Couple of episodes out already.
And some are saying it's the best thing since sliced bread.
I've heard that.
Some are saying that.
Yes, some.
Some.
So it's really, you know, set your watch, put a reminder in the calendar, get a group
of friends around and sit and watch it.
We really do appreciate your support of watching it, sharing it around, telling people about
it.
A lot of work went into it, not just from, well, not from Matt and I, but definitely
from Dave and from Stupid Old Studios, who are an amazing team who we love so much and
we love working with them and they've put so much great work into it.
Jam is a wonderful editor who's been editing all the, uh, web series.
He's been doing such a good job.
Unbelievable stuff, Jam.
He's such a delight to work with.
We're so, so lucky.
So yeah, we would love your support.
If you could watch it, share it around, um, watch it multiple times. Leave it on repeat. I don't care. Please.
Was that too clinging at the end there?
No, that was great. That was right.
Okay, great.
We need it because people are going to watch it, then we can make more because that's how
these things work.
That's how it works.
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode,
but until then, thank you so much and goodbye.
Laters! Bye!