Do Go On - 448 - The Curse of the Lottery Winner
Episode Date: May 22, 2024The lottery has a surprisingly long and interesting history, in this week's episode we delve into that before talking about a couple of infamous lottery winners, one of which was surely cursed!This is... a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:55 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfKSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatWho Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Prime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.britannica.com/topic/kenohttps://www.pinnacle.com/betting-resources/en/educational/the-history-of-lotteries/z5yjxp3heg45ym3zhttps://shopcases.som.yale.edu/products/voltaire-casanova-and-18th-century-lotterieshttps://medium.com/mind-cafe/waitress-wins-10m-lottery-and-all-hell-breaks-loose-bf35dc39e560https://www.al.com/news/mobile/2018/10/winning-lottery-ticket-for-alabama-waffle-house-waitress-led-to-lawsuit-kidnapping.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you.
And we should also say this is 2026.
Jess, what year is it?
2026.
Thank God you're here.
Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenja Amana, 630 each night at the
Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun.
We'd love to see you there.
Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.
If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto
for shows.
That's going to be so much fun.
Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online.
And I'm here too.
I thought you were going to join us up here.
Yeah.
It would be quite fun.
Hi, everyone.
Hello, welcome to another episode of Do Go One.
How are you feeling out there?
Oh my gosh.
My name is Dave Warnikey.
It's Matt and Jess.
Yes, look at him.
Hello.
What a pleasure to be here.
An absolute pleasure.
Jeez, they're there.
They've turned on me early.
Jess, you tell him it's a pleasure to be here.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Has a pleasure to be here.
Wow.
That feels like a lot of a slap in that space.
I always wanted to be a heel.
Yeah.
You're already the bad boy.
That's right.
I'm a bad boy heel.
It's wrestling terms.
Is that right?
Or is it the foot?
Which one is?
Is that why no one's reacting?
Is it the foot?
I'm the foot.
No, that's Ninja Turtles.
It's an early breakdown
from Matt, fantastic.
Don't worry, I'm only doing the report today.
In charge, great.
Was anyone here at the last show?
This is our second one.
Thank you so much.
Great to have you in.
We've warmed up now, so.
The first show was terrible if you went here.
But don't move.
Iron out the kinks.
Matt's running to go.
Jess, you're good?
I guess.
Yeah, okay, great.
Fantastic.
Yeah.
Dave, do you want to explain how the show was?
Well, basically, what we do here at Dogo One is we take it in terms of report on a topic.
It's often suggested to us by one of the listeners.
We go away, do a little bit of research,
and bring it back to the group in the form of a report,
which Matt, is your turn to do tonight.
Yes, and I have a question to get us on the topic.
Yes, we always start with a question.
Has anyone here not heard this show before?
Yeah, good.
It probably isn't true, but they were too scared.
And fair enough, because of the nature of comedy.
And every time I say, it's okay, it's safe,
we're going to pick on you, and then I call them a dickhead.
And so, no, good.
We don't mind if you haven't been here before, but what we won't tolerate is liars.
Show of hands, who's not heard this, but...
One at the...
One at the back, somebody dobed.
There's one at the back.
We got one here.
Where do you want me to take them?
Get them.
What should I do with them?
Sometimes you'll see her singles who've been brought along by someone else, but not often doubles.
Yeah.
They've just wandered in.
But imagine this whole middle section put their hand up.
Imagine.
I think this show is so good it would hold up, you know,
without in jokes and bullshit.
I'm sure it's still structurally sound.
Anyway, welcome.
Thanks so much for being here.
So we always start with a question.
Isn't that this setup's not great
because my back is going to be to use the whole time.
But if you want, you can read along.
They don't get that out there.
I'll give you a wave now.
Dave, can you make sure you give him some face some?
You two jazz over here.
and I'll do the same.
I'll do the same to yours.
I'll go low, you go high.
Hello.
You good?
Over here as well.
This as well.
Great, everyone.
Everyone got a bit of face in,
which is concerning.
But I will be a professional line.
A couple of photos here, all right.
A person is.
Do you get it?
Can I see it?
Yeah.
We will need.
No, don't.
We will need final edit on those, I'm afraid.
I don't look cute.
Now, backstage Matt did say, all right, this is a long report, so we can just cut straight to it.
That has not happened, but it will start happening now.
We always start with the question, Matt, what are we talking about?
What form of low-key gambling can be traced back to the Han Dynasty?
Well, I mean, what does name a kind of low-key gambling?
It's the big one.
Two-up.
Okay, that's probably heaps, actually.
Snail races.
Oh, my God.
It's higher key than that, I suppose.
Um, gambling.
Yeah.
That's something you might go to a news agency and get involved with.
Scratchy.
Yeah, it's close.
A lotto.
Yeah, thank you.
That's right.
I started thinking about magazines.
It's a lotto.
Who knows what's in that sealed section.
Open it up.
Oh, no.
Her again.
I've already got this one.
Oh.
I honestly thought of magazines.
I'm so sorry.
Lottery.
Of course.
So, yeah, in part, we're going to be talking about the surprisingly long history of the lottery,
which was suggested by Abby Weaver from Cambridge in England.
Are you in tonight, Abby?
Imagine.
Imagine.
Imagine.
It would have been a real one in a million chance.
Like the lot of the lottery.
Nah, but I reckon my chances are actually better than that.
Yeah.
So the first recorded lottery was a form of keynote in China in,
around 200 BC during the Han Dynasty.
Really?
Kino.
Keno.
Stop, watch, win.
Do you remember that?
That jingle was there from the beginning.
Wow, an ancient Chinese jingle.
Yeah.
Apparently there's a legend that funds raised went towards the building of the Great Wall of China,
but this isn't really 100%.
We don't know.
So it's probably almost not worth bringing up.
Okay.
The game was called, probably should have looked up the pronunciation.
Bejie Piao.
And...
Just as good as when he speaks French.
That's right.
You found a new language where he just really gets into it.
Apparently it means white pigeon ticket.
I bit my tongue in the middle of that.
Was that noticeable?
Yeah, no, no, no, he's sounding great.
White pigeon ticket.
Which, it was named so, because the tickets were used in a betting game involving homing pigeons.
So it's like, I don't know, that's a Kino apparently is like you get to choose between 80 numbers.
and then you win or don't.
Yeah, okay.
You can pick up to...
I thought it was a lot more complicated, but...
And it's the same 80 numbers,
and you don't just pick randomly 80 numbers, any number.
No, it's 1 to 80.
Yeah, okay.
That makes it much easier.
I think back then it was with different little pictures,
but, you know, we don't have time to go into that, Dave.
Come on.
I told you, it's a long report.
We're turning on each other early.
According to Britannica, beige piao, or packapoo, as it became...
Pretty good.
That's what it became known in the West is the ancestor not only of Kino, but also of Lotto and Bingo.
That was the one that birthed them all.
I'd say, aren't they, they're sort of the three, the big three of low-key gambling.
The kind of ones that your Nana does, and if you told her it was gambling, she said, no, it's...
Oh, yeah.
No, this isn't gambling.
Just a bit of fun with the girls.
Just a bit of fun with the girls.
Would have been dambling?
No.
Heaven's no.
As well as in China, the lottery also had its place during the Roman Empire, apparently,
during satinalia, which was like a predecessor to Christmas.
Rich people would get a lottery ticket at dinner parties and then would win a prize.
But the thing was, everyone won a prize.
It was basically just a way of giving gifts without having to, you know, personalise them.
So no one got what they wanted.
No.
Hey, you won!
Ah, look at that, socks.
The first recorded sale of lottery tickets occurred around this time also.
Emperor Augustus was leading the Roman Empire at the time,
and Rome was in desperate need of repair,
but citizens were already heavily taxed,
so he needed to come up with another way to raise funds.
This is why he introduced the lottery.
Essentially, you could buy a ticket,
and you could win a prize that was not of unequal value.
What does that mean?
I'm not sure.
That is confusingly phrased.
It was not of unequal value.
So it was of equal value.
It was not of unequal value.
Might have been written late last night, but sure it made sense to me then.
The first recording of lottery tickets being sold to win money was in the 15th century
in the low countries, Netherlands, Luxembourg and the other country, Belgium.
Oh, Belgium.
Home of Poirot.
A little bit of fun for Dave there.
The character girl Poirot is from Belgium and Dave likes him.
Is everyone up to speed now?
This is where we see the origin of the word lottery,
which comes from the Dutch word lot, which means fate.
How about that?
That's your lot in life.
Is that related?
Interesting thing to put out there.
it.
Huh.
Uh,
they were...
Yeah, great.
If you got nothing to say,
we'll both just go,
huh.
I've been doing that for nine years.
Yeah.
Ha!
Ha!
You don't say.
There you go.
This is not comfortable.
The way you're...
Well, Jess did offer her services
of the iPad.
It just didn't work out for you.
So you're hanging on the laptop.
Uh, so...
You got to get a photo of that sign.
He looks ridiculous.
Did you...
What did you just do then?
Do you call someone Swanee?
Not?
Is that Swanee?
No.
Okay.
You just say, got to get a photo that's Swanee?
No.
I'm like, do you know?
Somebody.
Oh.
Do you know somebody?
You're not Swanee.
No.
You could be a Swanee.
I was, I just thought Dave might have known everyone's names for a second.
I do. That's Oscar.
Oh, good.
It's true.
That's sick, all right.
Well, that's one.
We don't have time.
He's got a long one.
Well, you got to hear.
That's Rachel, next.
Rachel.
Yeah.
And there's Ebony.
Oh, is that true?
Yes.
Oh, that is actually going to be.
Sorry to the handful of people here we don't know the names of.
Is that sad for us?
I look out and you know everyone.
I'm so sad that we know people's names.
No, but it does look like we've begged, please.
Please.
Please come to this.
Ebony, please.
We need you in the front row.
This sold out weeks ago, Dave.
I was begging weeks ago.
Okay, that makes out of.
Begging for ages.
So some governments and leaders and whatever like the idea of lotteries
is they were like a painless form of taxation.
You know, you basically kind of, I guess, what they think of pokey's now.
It's like, it's painless.
Painless, yeah.
There's no downside.
Yeah, that's right.
No one ever loses.
You've got nothing to lose.
Well, you know, because it's a very unpopular to say, hey, we're raising taxes,
but to say, hey, we're giving you a new gaming room.
It's basically doing the same thing.
Yeah.
Only one of them leads to awful results.
Let you figure out which.
But in 1449, the first Italian lottery was used to fund a war against Venice.
See, some of them were positive.
King Francis.
Francois, the first of France, attempted his own lottery after spending time in Italy.
He's like, oh, I like what they're doing over here.
But it was a failure, as firstly the tickets were too expensive for nearly everyone in France.
And the few people who could afford it hated it.
So sort of, yeah, didn't take off.
You've lost everyone there.
However, not always lost.
The new soul of lottery was established in the 18th century where prizes were announced beforehand.
This was a big change-up.
Rather than, oh, look, you won soul.
This is like, oh, you're going to win socks if you're lucky.
In this new, I mean, actually what it was, it used to be you'd get a percentage,
but we're not telling you what that percentage is.
And you don't know how many tickets are being bought.
So it could be, you know, if you're the only one who buy a ticket, you win,
but you're going to win a percentage of what your ticket costs.
I've not explained that well.
I'm nervous about it.
I'm going to try and explain something more complicated soon.
I'm going to tell I'm not feeling confident about it.
I've been rewriting it a few times beforehand.
Oh, fuck.
Anyway.
So, yeah, the way it worked out was, you know, the percentage meant the house could never really lose.
The house always wins, that sort of stuff.
In this new version, the house could technically lose to an individual,
but by being careful about how they calculated the prize pool,
it was always profitable and no one could take advantage.
Well, that was their theory anyway.
Oh.
Unfortunately, the French government made a really bad error.
They like, it's funny that they were like, this is foolproof,
because you're going to hear it if I explain it correctly.
And go, that's a pretty big loophole.
So, yeah, a significant figure from back in the day,
Voltaire was there to reap the rewards.
He slipped in it.
Are you familiar with Voltaire's work?
Yeah.
He's a writer?
Yeah, Candida.
There's one?
No, Voltaire.
I just said it.
According to Kat Eshner, writing for the Smithsonian, starting in 1729, the French government
started running a lottery of bonds it owned.
I mean, I'm not going to try, apart from the fact that they are.
I was trying to do that subtly.
Has it been on at all?
As a feminist, I probably should have picked this up.
And Josh and I were trying to make eyes at each other.
Oh.
Subtally.
Oh.
Give it up for Josh, everyone.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you, Josh.
This gives me a good chance to sweat more about trying to explain this thing.
So you're building up to the tricky bit?
That's right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Great.
Hello.
Great.
What a share of Mark here.
But that means we have to harmonise.
Does she get a beaming now?
Will this get edited out or should I explain what's happening?
We'll probably just leave this in, won't we?
AJ.
Is anyone still listen to this show?
Is anyone listening now?
Is this thing on?
The three of us don't listen anymore.
For a little while, we've had a great editor named AJ to it.
but I do think sometimes
Oh, the horse is in.
Giddy up.
Thank you, Josh.
Let us know if AJ's taking the piss, all right?
Someone...
It's just that he puts out an audio clip each week of him going,
beep-a-boop-dub.
Yeah, well, we should start putting out the time code
how long we, the files were that we gave him.
And if it's longer, then we'll know that he's edited shit in.
Yeah, yeah.
Like how he sings the friends theme song.
Have we done that publicly before?
No.
Okay, no, you're going to say, okay.
So to sync up.
You react however you react.
This is how to sync.
If you're recording on Zoom, two separate people,
this is how AJ makes everyone in sync.
And I impersonate AJ's.
My throat's a bit sore,
but I'll try and do my best AJ.
He's a Kiwi man.
You might have heard him on the Barbie in June episodes.
So you react however you want to.
So no one told you laugh while it's going up.
be this way.
Great.
And it works every time.
It's fantastic.
Not that many got on board.
You know, too busy laughing at your impression of Aege.
Your borderline, offensive, impression, impression.
How could that be offensive?
He loves it.
That is classic inner city white boy, Dave.
Always taking offence on behalf of Kiwis across the Dutch.
He's slid into my DMs and said,
it's so hurtful.
It's not true.
Not true.
That's what you loves it.
All right.
Where were we?
You're building up to something very complicated.
Yes.
So according to Kat Aschner writing for the Smithsonian, starting in 1729, the French government
started running a lottery of bonds it owned in an attempt to promote the purchase of these bonds.
Only bondholders could buy tickets in the lottery.
Great.
One question.
What are bonds?
We didn't have time.
Look, I don't know, but basically,
the idea is they're trying to sell more bonds.
So they're saying if you own bonds, then you can buy lottery tickets.
So get those bonds and then you can also win money maybe.
That's their scheme.
All right, that's the easy bit to understand.
So far so good?
Yeah, yeah.
Bonds and lotterers are money.
But it's a lottery that's so exclusive you have to own bonds, government bonds, to enter the lottery.
The system had it that the price of the lotto tickets were related to the value of the bond you own.
So cheap, if you buy a cheaper bond, your lotto tickets are cheaper.
If you have more expensive bonds, those lotto tickets cost more.
But here's where they might have made a mistake.
The tickets were of equal value.
So you have the same chance.
You have the same chance of winning.
But you've got a better ticket.
Your ticket's better.
Right?
You spend more, you get a better ticket.
No, no, you get the same ticket.
Yeah.
So this was the system Voltaire was able to take advantage of
after he met a fellow beautifully minded man named Charles Marie de la commandant.
Wow.
It's so beautiful language of love.
Oh my God.
So romantic.
Condemann.
He getting hot under the collar.
Oh my God.
He bumped into this guy and as it turned out,
Charzmarie de la condi man had a bit of a mind for numbers.
He was a math man.
Maths genius.
And according to Andy Williamson, writing for today, I found out,
Voltaire at the time was struggling financially,
but Delacondement had a plan which he proposed to Voltaire
that would help make Voltaire and himself a boatload of money
via ever so slightly unscrupulous means.
Though technically they weren't breaking any laws.
And this was, of course,
by taking advantage of this massive loophole in the lottery.
Basically, Dele Condamine realized if he bought up all the cheap bonds,
he'd then be able to buy all the cheap lotto tickets,
which had the same chance of winning as the expensive tickets.
And that's what he did.
So they had a little pool, him and Voltaire, and maybe a couple of others,
and basically rigged it.
So he could buy tickets for...
It was in a different currency,
but say he's buying a ticket for a dollar
while other people are having to pay $1,000.
but the ticket has an equal chance.
So he bought,
so there's,
one guy's bought a thousand dollar ticket
because he doesn't,
and whereas these guys have a thousand bonds
and bought a thousand one dollar tickets.
So for the same price,
they have a thousand times more chance of winning.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, you got it.
Holy shit.
Good for you.
And believe it or not,
the plan was a massive success.
And Voltaire,
lived his whole life off the winnings.
His whole career was basically fun.
The only reason we know of Voltaire is because he stumbled onto this scheme.
Isn't that wild?
He was broke.
There was another giant of history and previous two go on topic.
Jakomo Kassanova.
Jesus Christ.
Did you even tell the story of Kassanova in this room, maybe?
No.
No, no, no, that was a really old one.
I'm thinking of the guy
fucked a lot.
Mr. Hands?
Is that how you talking about?
Certainly not, Dave.
I learned my lesson after the second time.
I can't think of you...
No, they go with the magic dick.
Oh, Mr. Hans.
Rasputon.
Raspudan.
I've got Raspudan and Casanova mixed up my head anyway.
Apparently, Cassanova played a role in popularizing
the lottery in France that century as well.
According to a case study outlined on the Yale website, yeah, I've been reading.
Casanova arrived in Paris in 1756, or I was a Parisian say, Paui.
This was after a spectacular escape from the Venice Inquisition.
He convinced French ministers to establish a number lottery to support the new and struggling
Ecol Militaire, which I believe is like the French military school.
The lottery was a great success, and Kassanova received support from the King and the franchise fees from his lottery sales officers, allowing him the leisure and connections to charm society throughout Europe.
So the reason he was able to go fuck around was also because of the lottery.
Is there anyone we've talked about who hasn't won a lottery before?
But every report topic, you go back to it, you're like, oh, Murray Kerry.
Lottery.
We only have pedestaline because of the lottery.
Because the lottery.
We should have more lotteries.
They sound great.
So good.
Around the time,
Cassanova was championing or champignon.
The lottery in France.
It was also starting to pop off in the north of America.
Oh, okay.
In North America.
According to an article by Scott Newman from NPR,
Lotteries flourished in the American colonies in the mid to late 1700s, and their proceeds went to build roads, bridges, churches and colleges.
According to Victor Matheson, who's a professor of economics at the College of the Holy Cross and also a lottery expert.
And I love this, that he's a professor of economics, and I love this language he uses.
He says, we've had lotteries in the United States for a super long time.
That guy knows how to measure things.
and a lot of big things in U.S. history were actually financed by them.
Isn't that great?
I just love how academic you made that sound.
It's like heaps of big things, you know.
It's actually really actually sick.
In the 1800s, as Prohibition began to spread,
so too did the country's distaste for gambling.
While religion was a big motivator for this,
there was also a lot of corruption.
According to Matheson,
there were cases of lottery companies selling tickets,
then ghosting everyone without paying out.
That was happening a bit.
The house, bastardly.
Yeah, I personally hate the house in all forms.
All forms.
All right, well, I'm going to let your house know that and you're on the street.
Oh, my God, you can't go home tonight.
I can't even sleep in the dog house.
Fuck.
You get home and your house like, I've heard things, David.
No, please, please.
After World War II, the lottery has made a bit of a comeback in America.
Similar to other points in history, it allowed states and cities to improve infrastructure while not raising taxes.
New Hampshire was the first state to bring back the lottery in a big way.
And that was in the 1960s and many states followed suit.
And they're like here in Australia.
Lotteries are now a pretty standard thing.
In Anna's Adela, you know?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, just putting on my numbers.
I always play the same numbers.
69.
Wow, Nana.
My gosh.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mentioned this on a recent Patreon episode,
but I don't know if I've mentioned it on the main feed,
but I used to sell lottery tickets at a shop.
Oh, yeah.
But I ended up getting sacked there
because I didn't have a big enough personality, apparently.
He wasn't charming enough.
And I told Dave and Jesse
this a couple of weeks ago
and they were like,
I forgot that I didn't tell
in the end of the story.
They were like,
what,
that's so weird,
you got a lot of personality
and that sort of stuff.
But what I didn't tell you
was I was replaced
by a middle-aged woman
named Karen who was oozing personality.
Honestly,
after I saw her in action,
I'm like, okay.
Okay.
I don't know.
Karen level charm.
She was something else.
Karen's a pillar of the community.
Yeah,
which is fantastic.
You're a piece of shit.
Yeah.
In comparison to Karen.
I remember I sold a big winning ticket one time
and I got the phone call and said,
oh, it's someone from the Herald Sun or something.
Do you want to comment on selling the ticket?
I said, oh, it was a real thrill.
This guy's charming as fuck.
Can't believe it.
And then the boss came in and said,
did you speak to the media?
And he chewed me out.
I said it was a big thrill.
I'm like, I'm sorry, I was 16.
I didn't know.
They asked it.
I should just answer?
Dave,
should we consider firing Matt
for not having enough personality?
Oh my God.
Not enough?
My God.
Oh, no.
Actually, for me, he's got a little too much.
Yeah, and he's always yapping to the media.
Yeah, yeah.
We're all over the Daily Malcas of this guy.
It's embarrassing.
So anyway, this has all been really
just a bit of a lead-up to the main story.
I'm going to tell two main stories about Lotto winners.
And this first one,
it's kind of, it's, she's known as the unlucky
lottery winner.
Her name is Tonda Dickerson,
which is a beautiful name.
This was suggested by two people,
Emma Sharp from Sunny Brunswick
and Isaac from Tacoma in
either Western Australia or Washington.
Or maybe just a place called Wa.
Tacoma Waugh.
Emma Ror Isaac Ian.
That one was a little more likely,
to be honest.
Seeing as we have no idea where Tacoma is.
But before I get into that story about Tonda,
there's so many horror stories for lot of winners.
I actually have to come clean and say that I am a lottery winner.
What?
And I don't have a house still.
Well, you might soon.
Because I've in a syndicate with three other people.
We put our money in every week.
We've been in it for eight years.
Last month, we won seven.
$100.
Couldn't I believe it?
I couldn't I believe it.
And then I did the calculations
that I've worked out
I'm still several thousand dollars
in the hole.
Like I'm so far down.
But it was amazing.
What a feeling.
Dave and I have an agreement
that if he wins big
and the lotto,
he has to buy me a house.
And he's not a two-way agreement.
No, no, no.
It's only if Dave wins.
If I, what's mine is mine.
But what's Dave's is mostly mine.
This, we might hear later,
but this is the kind of thing
could be used in court later.
Are you saying, are you agreeing to that day?
Okay.
Yes, I am.
I agree.
I agree that if I win over one billion dollars,
I will buy Jess a house in the middle of fucking nowhere.
10 mil.
10 mil, buy me a house.
No, that's half a house now.
100 mil, buy me a house.
A little one.
Don't be a tight-ass.
Dave.
Why have your house?
A hundred mill?
You've won't a hundred mill.
I want less than a mill.
I don't think you do.
I was about to really go to town on Tonda saying what a tired ass, but fucking hell.
I'm with Tundra.
All right.
Okay, over 100 million.
You buy me a house.
US.
You got a deal.
All right.
I'll tell that.
That's of my choosing.
He's going to put me in a doghouse.
So, yeah, there's been a lot of disasters over the years.
Alabama News gives a few examples saying a simple Google of past lottery winners
will present you with dozens of examples of how such a life-changing win can quickly turn your life upside down.
And then here's some three dot points.
Yes, they're grim, but we'll move on.
I'll be the judge of that.
No, I'm boring.
Your grim facts.
Okay, sorry.
I'll tell you that, darling.
Someone named Aroge Khan was poisoned a day after winning a million dollars in 2012.
That is pretty grim.
What are the chances?
Believe it.
Probably less than the chances of winning a lot.
Michigan winner Amanda Clayton was found dead from a drug overdose less than a year after winning $735,000.
What I read that one out.
Sounds like she probably had a pretty good year.
Okay.
Yeah, a day, that's not enough time.
A year?
Yeah, okay.
Well, finally, there is a man in Georgia who was done for investing three million of his winnings into a meth ring.
You got to spend money to make money.
That's good business.
You got to spend meth to make meth.
But yeah, tonight we're talking about a story that thankfully doesn't involve quite as much tragedy,
but it does still have a fair chunk of drama.
Fantastic.
So this takes place in March of 1999 at the Grand Bay, Alabama Waffle House.
This is a setting for a lot of drama.
A regular at this Waffle House was named Edward Seawood Jr.
And he tipped the waitresses with lottery tickets he had bought while in Florida.
It was a regular there.
He knew everyone by name and that's how he would always tip them.
He was a 40-year-old former restaurant manager and, yeah, it was pretty good mates with the staff.
That's a great way to tip, though, because you go, look, obviously this is a lot less than 15% of the bill.
Right now, but it could be hundreds of times the bill.
So you're really getting away with that.
But he's just a tired ass, isn't he?
But the thing, the interesting thing is what made them sort of a bit more exciting
was that in Alabama, lottery was illegal.
And I think it might still remain to this day.
They're trying to legalize it.
But, yeah, so he's going across the border.
He's going over to Florida bringing them back.
So there's something extra exciting about it.
They're legal to get them across.
the state lines, but you couldn't buy them in the state.
His boot is just full of little bits of paper.
Help yourself.
Rifling around in there.
A year before, they did try and get legislation passed to allow lotteries to happen in Alabama,
but voters shot it down in a referendum.
They didn't want it.
It's probably, I don't know.
Funnily enough, while they don't allow that,
you can still legally gamble in Alabama on horse and dog racing
or at casinos on trouble and land.
So they're like, not those lotteries.
Evil.
Get me the dish lickers.
Betting of the gods.
Respectable, like Jesus would have done.
Anyway, back to the Waffle House.
On March the 6th, the waitresses who are on shift at the Waffle House
check their tickets, but there were no winners.
The next day, two more waitresses check their tickets,
including the subject of this story, Tonda Dickerson.
And she won big.
Not big enough for Dave to buy your house, Jess,
but she won $10 million.
Oh, yeah, 10 million, you're not even buy me.
You're a tight ass.
You're a bad friend, that's where you are.
All I'm asking is a free house,
and you're like, I've a child.
Yeah.
They're fucking expensive, man.
A real child here is a day.
So yeah, there were two winners.
It was a $20 million prize pool, so she won half the jackpot.
You're probably thinking how good is this?
I am thinking that.
She got her money.
How good is this?
Right, everyone's happy.
I was wondering if anyone would enjoy that, but I'm so glad that.
Ebony?
Ebony did.
seamless that'll edit down real nice um it's a rexunquote doesn't matter me and ebony
gelt it but um the guy you see oh she got her money how good this yeah yeah you've told us
after he got done yeah whatever um that's probably a story for another day uh but yeah unfortunately
this is where things started to unravel uh she was obviously very excited and so were her co-workers
also rostered on that day were Sandra Dino, Angie Tisdale, Matthew Adams and Jackie Fairley.
All of them were also given tickets in the lottery by Seawood, but of course none of them won.
But according to them, all of the waitresses at the Waffle House had an ongoing agreement to split their tips.
Exactly.
Including any winnings from the lottery tickets.
What are you going to do is get on a podcast and say, lay it all out.
Yeah, 100 million.
In your dollars, you'll get a house of my choosing.
Oh, I don't know why I haven't said that.
Can I have one too?
I'm afraid.
Sorry.
Sorry, she doesn't want me to.
Yeah.
So all the co-workers are like, yes, we won.
Yeah, we won.
And Tonner's like, our win.
Tonda's like, we won.
I don't think so.
So, yeah, they were pretty furious.
They weren't the only ones who were upset.
Also, C-Wed, the ticket buyer.
And the people that sold the ticket and the lottery company.
We deserve some of that win.
But apparently, Tonda had promised to buy him a pickup truck if she ever won.
She said, oh, that was just a flippet comment.
All right, she's way tired of than me.
10 million in a pickup truck.
You can have a pickup.
Do you want that?
Yeah, right.
Fine.
If I win more than 10 million, you can have a pickup truck.
Can I have a pickup truck too?
I'm afraid we're sold out.
Sorry.
That was the last one.
Really sorry.
He's not made of money, Matt.
Come on.
All right.
You're taking the piss, mate.
That was rude.
Yeah.
So, yeah, she never came good on that either.
That was just a little joke.
If I was ever buying you a pickup truck.
Well, you say, what is that?
As a percentage out of 10 million, it would be like, like, what, 50%?
How much for the truck cost?
I don't know.
It couldn't be much.
Probably less than 50.
Wow.
And he bought the ticket.
Yeah.
Help him out.
Apparently, when they win over there, you've got to go to the lottery office to
collect the winnings in person, and there you have to decide.
I'd be interested to see what you would do here.
You have to decide whether you'd take $375,000 a year over 30 years.
or take a big lump sum, lump sum.
I guess it depends if the big lump sum is like $374,000 or something.
Well, it's a $10 million win.
You get it all at once?
But I think a chunk of it's taken out by tax and stuff, so.
What should we do?
I feel like I've seen TikToks explaining the way that you should do it,
and I can't remember what those TikTok said.
Take the lot.
It says So I trust Sof.
And if you fucked me over it.
So help me God.
I guess because you can invest it now, right?
And it can compound over the 30 years.
Yeah, the interest.
Sophie takes us up, I think Sophie takes us up to four of the names in the front row, we know.
Yes.
Stephen.
Ebony's husband?
Partner, fiancé.
Not yet married.
Soon.
I'm going to the wedding.
Jess also knows the marital status of everyone on the front row.
So, yeah, so all of a sudden people are coming at her with lawsuits
and she lawyed up as well, tried to get the complaint dismissed,
but the court refused to dismiss it,
and I went before an advisory jury who found in the workmates' favour.
They agreed that there was an oral agreement between staff
and she should have to share the winnings with them.
Tonda appealed this decision using the same,
arguments she'd previously used, this time in front of the Alabama Supreme Court, and in this
case, she won. So she got to keep it all. But by that time, the legal fees had been eating it all.
Honestly, honestly, and sorry about this, but bitch. You know? I'm sorry, but bitch. I'm looking
I'm going forward to saying how you go with this roller coaster that's to come.
Will I regret saying what I just said?
Well, I don't know, will you?
Uh-oh.
I'm going to stand by it.
No matter what.
No, no, you know, I think that's fair.
Her legal troubles were not over.
Seawood, the guy wanted the truck.
He also took her to court saying that there was a deal that if they won,
she'd get him a truck.
Also, she said that she'd share the winnings,
and that's the only reason he gave her that as a tip.
So she took the tip fraudulently,
so really he should get it all back.
And then he would have shared it with the rest of the workmates.
He is a real C word, isn't he?
Thank you.
Three years at comedy school.
That is a very good joke,
but you think him sharing it amongst the workers.
It would make him a real seaworthy.
No, I just, I thought of it before, and I was waiting for you to stop talking for a second.
He is a real seawood.
But, yeah, unfortunately, the court upheld the previous decision and allowed Tonda to keep her winnings.
Upheld.
Sorry, continue.
So, so far, she's held on to all of it.
No one's got anything.
That's right.
But the IRS now wanted to get their piece.
It's important to know that since winning the lottery,
Tonda had formed a corporation to claim those winnings.
She owned 49% of it, which right off the bat seems like not enough.
Yeah.
But she had an oral agreement with her extended family
that they would share the winnings if she ever won the lottery.
Oh, no, no, no.
And while in court, she said that the oral agreement with her workmates, you can't.
That's not anything.
And then she's taking a call by the IRS and they're saying,
if this is not an oral agreement,
you're gifting that to your family
and they should be taxed appropriately.
She said, oh no, this was an oral agreement.
This oral agreement is rock solid.
My word is my bond all the time.
Yeah.
So the rest of her family own 51% of it.
Apparently this is a pretty common practice for lottery winners.
Tondra argued that this was because of her longstanding agreement with her family.
And yeah, here's a quick rundown of her family tree that her husband at the time, James, at the time.
Her brother John and his wife, Laurie.
At the time.
Her sister Jennifer and her husband Larry and her mom, Cynthia, Cynthia and her dad, Bobby.
Dad Bobby, he drew up the paperwork for the corporation with the family's okay, of course.
and yeah he gave he decided on all the percentages 49% would go to tonda and her husband james then husband
and um the other couple other couples will get 17% each and the parents will get 17% and then
she was with her 49% she was going to split again with james's family apparently so splitting
all these different ways um yeah this is all set up like straight after the win um but i should say by
the time of the trial, Tonda and her husband had gotten a divorce.
Yeah, sorry, I probably should have warned you that that was coming.
Whoops.
I'm so sorry.
I know you were pretty invested emotional.
Tonda and what's his name?
James.
Here I was believing in love.
But it's a lie.
Maybe don't get married.
No, no.
You should.
You should.
You guys are different.
You'll be good.
You'll be right.
Thanks for having my back there, boys, and both having a big sip at the same time.
You've got this?
Having a big drink.
No, I reckon you're going to be great.
Oh, no, I didn't.
Words couldn't even describe how much belief I have in you two.
So the IRS, and you will not end up in a messy court.
I would give you a like a 49% guarantee.
So the IRS take Tonda to court saying that the 51% of the winnings that she gave away to family,
that should have been considered a gift and therefore tax as such.
But she was like, no, no, no, it was an oral agreement, right?
That was her case.
The lawsuit took 13 years.
And in that time, is she allowed to spend it in?
of the winnings?
I think she had some of it by this point.
And in the end, the IRS won and had to pay $1.1 million in tax.
Oh, yeah.
So those the end of it.
They're the end of her illegal woes.
Only, you know, 13 years.
So you might be going, is this even that unlucky?
Well, the other thing that makes her story probably pretty well known is this last little bit
of fuckness in her story.
Just days before the court case.
with Seward was thrown out, Tonda was kidnapped by her ex-husband.
But not James.
What?
Another ex-husband named Stacey Martin, who sounds like a real C-word.
Stacey Martin, okay.
She divorced him in 1997 two years before the lottery win.
According to an article on the Alabama Media Group website,
Stacey Martin, now in his late 40s,
lunged at Dickerson while she was driving in a truck in Jackson County.
We know whose truck that should have been.
Just rubbing it in C-Wood's face
Yeah
Just doing laps around his house
And apparently, yeah, she
She was driving
She was driving
He took, he lunged
He lunged
At a car
Yeah
And one
What a man
Honestly, I've gone against a car
And it didn't go well
You've been in a car accident
I got hit by one
Oh.
Yeah, remember she was on her bike and she lunged at that car.
I'm just not sure why you haven't brought this up before.
Why I haven't milked it for six months?
So, yeah, I don't really understand what happened, to be honest.
But anyway, he kidnapped her, and they drove on Highway 90 into Jackson County,
where he took her to the boat launch at Bayou Heron, an isolated area.
During the abduction, Tonda's phone rang a number of times.
Initially, he wouldn't let her answer, but eventually she convinced him if he didn't,
and then people would come looking for her.
It was like, they'll be suss if you don't answer the phone.
So she goes, I'm going to answer the phone.
But instead of picking up her phone, she pulled out a gun.
Sorry, I got to take this.
Bit of fun.
For those at home, they've pulled out of finger gun.
Oh, sorry, I pulled out a finger gun.
And he's like, what the fuck are you doing with your finger?
So she goes, I'll go for the phone, pulls out a gun and shot him.
What?
He then managed, it was not a fatal shot.
He managed to get the gun off her.
And he was going to shoot her.
And she convinced him, no, don't shoot me.
Then who's going to drive him to the hospital?
And he's like, good point.
Okay, okay.
She's starting to have a bit of a jess energy.
And Dave Stacey.
Yeah.
Oh, good one. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll get the car.
You can't shoot me.
Well, I hadn't thought of it like that.
That's incredible.
Yeah, so as far as I know, they both survived,
there's no record of him being charged.
And it's not really clear of his motivation.
You'd have to assume it had something to do with the lottery.
Yeah.
What was he going to do?
You know, like his plan didn't seem like it made a lot of sense.
The last we've heard publicly of Dickerson
was when the IRS case was settled in 2012.
and according to her social media profile,
she's currently working as a poker dealer
at the Golden Nugget Casino in Biloxi.
So, happy ending.
Started with lottery, ended with lottery.
So I thought that was a weird story.
I thought I'd end with a story
that I think a lot of you might already know in Australia,
but it's probably not as well known overseas.
So it's finished with a bit of a happy story
from an Australian lotto winner named Bill Morgan.
This has been suggested by Tom Harris from Burrower,
from Berkshire in the UK and Abby Weaver from Cambridge and England.
I could say it also might be known overseas.
I forgot the internet went worldwide.
So I'll finish by reading this story by journalist Chloe Weillan.
I said in the late 1990s,
Australian man Bill Morgan experienced a string of bad luck.
He was injured in a car crash while working as a truck driver
and developed a heart condition.
Then he suffered an allergic reaction
to the drug used to treat the condition
and ultimately had a heart attack.
Mr. Morgan, I said I was going to finish on a light note.
Am I not?
Morgan was clinically dead for 14 minutes
and after being revived by medics was in a coma.
Incredibly, days later, Mr. Morgan...
Tacoma?
What?
What?
What?
Take a applause.
He said it.
word we said earlier.
How do they do it?
Three years of comedy school.
Sorry, he's in a coma.
He's in a coma.
This will make you feel better.
He said, when I was lying in hospital, I thought, gee, I mightn't survive this.
Obviously he did, though, because we're quoting him.
I'm only 37.
And at 37, I've got so much to look forward to, he told reporters at the time.
And he was right.
Within a year of the coma, Mr.
Morgan was engaged with his future wife, had scored a new job and won a $30,000
Toyota Corolla in the lottery.
Oh, that's the kind of car that hit me.
And I wonder you survived.
That's actually true.
Luckily it wasn't some pickup truck that Dave...
That's why he shouldn't buy me one.
Yeah.
You know in the end, it will kill you.
You know.
News outlets picked up the Aussie story as a heartwarming
tale of shifting luck.
And what happened next was even more remarkable.
This is probably the bit you know.
When Mr. Morgan was asked by a local TV station to reenact his story,
he bought another ticket, and this is what happened.
He won again.
This is what he said.
You'll know this quote, maybe.
I love it.
I just won $250,000.
I'm not joking.
I think I'll have another heart attack.
It's so.
It's the best footage.
If you haven't seen it, check it out.
It's such a great clip.
It doesn't mean, like, oh.
He saw it.
He's half faints against the wall.
Yeah.
I'm not joking.
It was the best.
Yeah.
The article goes on, but really that's the peak of it, to be honest.
It just doesn't get better.
That's the best.
Yeah, that actually...
I've seen that clip a bunch of.
I've seen that clip a bunch of it.
of times.
I never knew the backstory to it.
I didn't know.
And you seem to recognise the name.
Bluntje people recognise the name.
I've seen that clip lots of times.
I didn't know.
But man, that is the best video.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
So good.
The best.
Oh, what a fun time I've had here today.
I love you.
So for the people who met, kept reading.
It was like, no, no one has that.
And they just slowly close his laptop.
We'll end there.
Got two.
Yeah.
You know, I'd probably.
should have skimmed it a bit more before.
That's great stuff.
I saw the word bad arthritis.
All right.
Well, but we probably don't need to keep reading.
Probably from all that scratching.
So, if we pass the hat around now,
would everyone put 10 cents in and we'll all buy a lottery ticket together?
What do you think?
What do you think?
And if we win, I'll take it all.
Agreed?
Is that an oral promise?
Yeah, that's a promise.
But yeah, thanks so much for coming.
out, everyone.
Oh my gosh.
Can I say, is anyone looking for something to do right now?
I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, we're doing our show Dry, Dry,
I mean, friend, Dry, and I'll walk you all up, give you a piggyback if you need it.
Might stop for a beer at the catfish on the way through.
Shows at 715, tickets available.
Last week, I very smugly said, can't come tonight, sold out.
Tonight I'm saying, please come.
But yeah, me and Serena are going to walk up from here, like, in half an hour's time or whatever.
So, you know, let's do it.
And I saw the show during the week.
It's fantastic.
You're on fire.
Yeah, there is a part where I like myself.
Yeah.
No, you've got to go.
You got to go.
A big finale.
It's really beautiful.
Just anything to plug.
Go see shows.
Go see the newlyweds.
They're an improv group.
They're really, really great.
It's our good friend, Marcel, who we've had on the podcast before.
Go see comedy stuff.
please give it up as well for Caitlin on the door
and also all the staff here, Josh on sound.
Give it up for them, please.
Thank you so much.
Our quiz show web series is coming out every Sunday night at the moment.
I have a new episode tonight at 8 o'clock with Andy Matthews and Lizzie Who
quizzing about the Olympics.
So you can watch that at home for free on YouTube, but go see Matt.
It's way better than that.
It's way better.
It's way better.
You know, YouTube will be there when you get home.
Our show will not.
That's right.
Unless you know, unless you want it to be.
You know what that means?
Hey, that's the end of the show.
Thank you so much for coming out.
We'll see you next time.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
And we're back in the studio.
Oh, it's good to be back in the studio.
Oh, my goodness.
I've got more room here.
I can stretch out.
Not all those creepy little eyes staring at me from the shadows.
You mean, Matt?
I don't know what those little eyes were.
Thank you so much to everyone that came down to this.
This one of the Melbourne Comedy Festival in the basement comedy club.
We had a really fun time at the Comedy Festival this year.
Audiences were great.
A lot of repeat offenders, I mean, audience members.
Pete customers.
Repeat customers.
Yeah, no, we had a great time.
So, yeah, thank you for coming down.
It was a lot of fun.
Truth be told, we're recording this much later.
And I don't remember much of it.
But I'm told we had a good time.
Yes, no, it was a fun time.
We did two this day.
For context on the day, we did an episode.
It came out a couple of weeks ago on presidential incidents with Nick Mason.
Then we had a little break, maybe 20 minutes or something.
And then we were back out there doing this one on the lottery.
Just is what we were talking about.
That's right.
Yes, I was eating snacks in that 20 minute break and drinking electrolytes.
What snacks were you having?
Because I am an athlete.
Yeah, that's right.
What was I having?
Cheese and crackers, carrots.
That's what you said about you used to have before every race.
Every rice.
Cheese and bickies.
He's have some cheese and bickies.
You've got the carbs.
You got some protein.
You got some good fats.
Yeah, it's a perfect snack.
Had some carrots and some hummus.
And yeah, I had those, I had to hydrate.
Because I'm a migraine girlie.
You sounded hydrated up there.
I got to be careful with the hydration.
You sounded great in the episode.
Yeah, we had a lot of fun.
So the only thing that we need to do to add on to the fun that we already had was a little bit more fun.
A little bit more fun.
Do you have a little bit more fun with me?
And we do that by saying goodbye to Matt Stewart.
Yeah, we say, Sianara.
You bitch.
Yeah.
You always had that bit.
I do. And you keep asking me not to. And one day I will learn, but that day is not today.
Now, one of the highlights of the episode, just to get us back into the lottery vibe.
Was when Matt left, obviously, that's the highlight of today. But on that day, when Matt was talking about the lottery and stuff, he talked about Bill Morgan, the guy that won...
Bill Morgan, that won a car, and then he was filmed winning a scratchy. And we sort of did a few quotes from on the show.
But I've actually dug up the YouTube video, and it's one of my all-time favorites. And just to give you a bit of context, this is the audio. You can find this clip.
Man wins money live on TV in brackets Australia.
And the uploader is 90s wrestling boy.
Okay.
This is from 2012, this video, but it was filmed in 1999.
Three and a half million views nearly.
Wow.
This is the moment Bill Morgan wins.
Now a TV station wants Bill to enact how he won the car.
So they tell him to buy another lottery ticket and scratch it off.
Watch what happens when he does it again for the cameras.
I just want 250,000.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I've just Googled 250K in 1999 worth today.
And it would be about $468,000 today.
Bill, well done.
So that's a lot of money.
Like it's, yeah, that's a significant chunk of change.
Huge.
Could have bought a house for that back then.
Oh my God, absolutely.
And now you could buy like,
what like a car park you could get a reduced mortgage on a on a house
yeah you'd use that money yeah it could be 20 years instead of 30 maybe
probably not probably not gonna take 10 years off but you could probably do it in 25
instead and that's great yeah that's freedom and jess is not joking I'm not joking I'm not
joking so much amazing so uh just so back in the lottery vibe here so now we can move on to our
favorite section of the show, a Patreon section, where we thank a few people, support the show,
keep the lights on, keep us rocking, keep us rolling, keep us greased, keep these wheels greased,
you know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying. And we always start with the fact,
quote or question section. And I believe Jess has a little jingle. It goes something like this.
Fact quote or question. Ding. He always remembers the ding. I always remember the sing.
She absolutely does.
Now, this is the first section of Patreon section.
Basically, if you want to support the show,
you can go to Patreon.com slash do go on pod at any time.
It's a 24-hour website.
That's right.
We do not shut it down.
Except if there's technical difficulties.
Sometimes it gets shut down.
I don't know.
That's it by the government.
The FBI, I don't like it.
But Patreon.com slash, I'm feeling a bit silly after my juice.
Patreon.com slash...
I juice him.
Yeah, I've been juiced.
I'm twitching.
Patreon.com slash do go on pod.
And you can get bonus.
episodes we put out three a month plus plus there's 200 in the back catalogue to unlock immediately.
You can be in the Facebook group.
You can get advanced knowledge of all the live shows we do, get discount tickets.
Yep.
And you name it.
We do it.
Shoutouts.
We do that?
Shoutouts.
Great.
A fact, quite a question.
Do you do that?
Yes.
And what exactly does that mean?
Well, that means that people that support us on the Sydney Shineberg deluxe level.
Is that correct?
That's right.
Or above.
Or above.
Get to submit a fact.
quote, a question, a suggestion, a brag, a, it can be anything, a shout out. And, um,
and they give themselves a title as well. I would love to read these to you, Dave, if you don't mind.
I'd love if you read them to me, thank you. So, first up, we have Sky. Sky's title is consummate,
unprofessional. That's very good. That's a bit of fun. You never hear that. You never hear that.
And then we should. And Sky has given us a collection of words I like. Oh, fantastic. Oh, I think I like this a lot.
Okay, here we go
Here's a list of words
Anachronism
Ramp
Cloister
Crape
Grunt
Cranky
Pork pork
Gaspacho
Pistachio
I can see a bit of a
Common theme there
Slack
Crass
General
Brigadier
Grenadier
Nenamo?
Nanaimo?
Clamp.
Oh, clamp's good.
Clamp.
What are some words you like?
Sky, I liked saying all of those, and I liked hearing them back in my headphones.
They were all strong words, weren't they.
They were very strong.
My favourite word is Glock and spiel.
Oh, wow, man's plop.
Plop.
That's good.
Plop.
Plop.
I think it's the, obviously, yeah, everything's satisfying about plop, actually.
Because it's got the pl, which is fun.
P and L is fun, and then an o, and then p.
A tight, sharp peer at the end.
Glock and spiel is fun for the Glock and spiel.
For the Glock, I think.
Yeah, that's fun.
That's fun.
I like it a lot too.
And then it's just a nice thing to imagine.
It's a lovely little instrument.
Yeah, true.
Glock and spiel's always been a fave of mine.
That's great.
What about how would you rank your go-to idea word is banana?
Do you actually like it as a word?
No.
Not at all.
But you're right.
If anybody puts me on the spot and says, name something, I'll say banana every time.
Even you don't even like banana that much?
I'm, I don't.
I eat bananas.
But like it's fine to you.
It's not like, it's not like, it's not on your mind because it's like, I love it.
A fruit I would seek out is like grapes.
That's a fun word, does it?
Grape.
Grape.
Banana, it's more just like a habit from eating them before basketball as a teen.
Yeah.
And I don't like banana flavored things.
So like banana bread or banana milk.
I don't like it.
So it doesn't make any sense.
That's my go-to word.
I should just say glockenspiel.
Why don't you?
I don't know.
Or cloister.
That's good.
I'd write that word a lot.
Yeah, there were some really fun ones in there.
Even like a simple one, ramp.
I actually really liked cranky and pork.
Pork.
Crass was good.
Clamp, yeah, clamp was good.
Yeah.
They were all really fun words.
Grunt.
More of this.
I want to hear more people's favorite words.
And yeah, I might start a little list going of words I like.
Glock and Spills definitely there.
Are there any names you really like saying?
I mean, we had what, Darren Aronofsky, we said recently.
Oh, yes, when we were doing the whale on the phrasing the bar podcast on Patreon.
Darren Aronovsky.
Gosh, that's fun to say.
So fun to say.
Yeah, I'm going to start a little list of my phone of words I like.
Hey, controversial.
I'd also like to hear words you don't like.
Okay.
Yeah, that's fair.
If you want to write in any of those.
No.
You can't think of any of that one?
I used to not like tits.
Tits.
I didn't like it.
Don't know why.
And then...
You've grown to love tits?
No, then I think what changed...
it for me was, I think it was in the film, I love you man, and Jason Segal referred to something
as the tits.
That's the tits, meaning it was great.
And I liked it.
It was like an explosion in your mind.
Yeah, I was like that.
That's the tits.
That's the tits.
Tits is fun.
Yeah, keep those coming.
I enjoyed that very much.
So if you can't think of anything for your fact quote a question, and that's what's
holding you back?
Yeah, yeah.
Just tell us some words you like or don't like.
Yeah, because there's quite a few people we haven't.
heard from in a while on there.
Yeah.
And there's no pressure ever to put anything in.
No presh.
But if you want to, it's fun for us too.
It's very fun.
It's fun for everybody.
And it's part of what you, you know, this is what you get for your contribution.
I was about to say it's what you pay for.
And I didn't quite mean that.
That feels bad.
But it sounded worse.
It's what you get.
That's what you get.
You get what you get and you don't get to complain.
Okay.
Shut up.
But I like this because it's, you know, part of being part of the show.
Hmm.
And there's always something new like that.
A list of words.
Love that.
Great stuff, Sky. Thank you so much. Very consummately unprofessional of you.
And next, Piper Gallagher has given themselves the title, Money Laundra.
I mean, accounting specialist, wink.
Thank you so much.
For Do Go On's perfectly legitimate wink, international chain of laundromat.
I did tell you that FBI has been trying to shut down Patreon.
Do Go do laundry wink.
Oh, my, we really shouldn't have put the wink in the title.
That's really good stuff, Piper.
Piper's given us a suggestion.
I'd be interested to see if it's a chain of laundry.
we'll find out
Piper says
I've realized how poor I am
at coming up with ideas for this
so I'm resorting to song recommendations
that's not resorting mate
that's fantastic
that's great
I mean Sky just gave us words they like
so
Yes and we agree
Allow me to take you on a brief journey
Okay
I re-listen to your episode
about the imposter zombies
An underrated favourite of mine
And that got me listening to the zombies again
Will I be recommending a zombie song?
No
That's far too simple
Revisiting The Zombies compelled me to check out an old favorite track of mine by a band called Say Hi.
The track is called O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O.
I might have missed an O there, and it's the best song The Zombies never wrote
and based on Matt's previous recommendation of bands like the OCs and Jess recommending a thousand times by Big Blood,
which is legitimately my top tracks of all time now.
Me too, it's so good.
This seemed like something that might be up all yours alley or Laneway, as it were.
That's good stuff.
It gives heavy time of the season vibes, and the jaunty horn riff always makes me happy.
The song is lyrically a little spicy, not overly explicit, but certainly sensual.
So I won't make Matt uncomfortable by making him read out an excerpt.
Thank you.
You would have made me uncomfortable.
Cheers, thanks for the pod.
That's awesome.
That's cool.
And I will say I do know the band.
You do?
I've seen the guy.
It's a solo guy.
Oh, nice.
He opened for Death Cab for Cutie about 10 years ago here in Melbourne.
And I think I know that song
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Something like that
Sick
I mean you've got the orcs plugged in
I know I do
I know but will we get a YouTube struck
For this let's have a quick listen
We'll get like two seconds
Okay
Oh yeah I forgot
Oh that's really cool
Yeah
You know that sound?
Kind of I will go listen to that
Yeah
As soon as we're done Papa
It's a very cool song
So thank you for the recommendation
And yeah
I hadn't thought about the band in a while too
So this is like a recommendation
Recommendation that jogs my mind
It's a good reminder
I've seen that guy
And yeah, I had good banter between songs.
Matt recommending OCs and me talking about a thousand times by Big Blood.
It's just, it's one of those rare occurrences where I heard a song and just went, oh, shit.
Like this is going to be, this is going to be a favorite of mine forever.
So nice.
Yeah, that's great.
That's great.
Thank you so much, Piper and Sky for a collection of words.
And, yeah, that's all we have for fact for a question this week.
Thank you very much.
If you want us to get involved, patreon.com, such as to go on pot and you can be part of the show.
You're lucky duck.
Now, the next thing we have to do, and we get to do, I should say, is thank some of our wonderful
patrons who support us on the shoutout level or above.
What we do is we give them a shout out.
We usually make a little bit of a game of it.
I was thinking what they won in the lottery.
Yeah, sometimes, obviously it's usually money, but sometimes it could be a car or a house or a boat.
Okay, I've just burned a few of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We say what they won.
What they won the lottery.
I love it.
It could be like a raffle even.
They've just won something.
They've won a raffle.
They've won a prize.
And next we have, and they have won a prize.
Do you want to go one for one?
Let's go one for one.
All right.
Fantastic.
I'll kick things off.
First up from Furntry Gully in Victoria, I would love to thank Christine H.
Christine H.
has won a solid gold toblaron.
Oh.
Obviously, can't eat it, but it looks great.
It looks cool, yeah.
It's a good paperweight slash is worth several hundred thousand, if not million dollars.
So you'd probably just sell it.
You'd probably sell it.
But, you know, depending on how wealthy you already are,
maybe your paperweights can be a million dollars worth of gold.
And maybe you just hold back on selling it until it's even more valuable.
I can imagine gold is only going to go up forever.
It's an investment.
Right?
Yeah.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Dave, is that true?
Speak to your financial advisor.
This advice is generally nature only.
Just a little legal note there.
Legal note, we do not know anything.
We are the dumbest people you've never met.
We are not millionaires.
I do not have any gold, so I don't know anything.
No, I don't, I'm a silver girly or rose gold, really, these days, which is gold, I suppose.
But it's got like copper in it or something.
See, that's how little we know.
I don't even know.
I don't know what it is.
Do you want to thank someone?
Oh, yeah, sorry, because I said that.
God, it was my turn.
I'd like to thank from Fernie Voltaire.
Oh.
In France.
Oh my goodness.
Ferni Voltaire.
It's Eleanor Lucas or Lucas.
How is Ferni Voltaire going to be pronounced in French, Dave?
You've done some French lessons.
Farnet Valter.
Oh, my God, he's good.
It's a commune in France.
Oh.
There you go.
In eastern France.
Beautiful.
Between the Euro Mountains and Swiss border.
Stunning.
It forms part of the Metropolitan.
an area of Geneva.
So very close on the border then.
Cool.
How cool is that?
And Eleanor actually won.
Yes.
A duck.
Okay.
Solid gold or?
A golden duck.
Yes.
Somebody won a golden goose.
Eleanor got the golden duck.
Well, the golden goose was like the first prize.
Eleanor came second and got a golden duck, which is still very good.
Because the third person got a golden rat.
It's much smaller, much less gold, much less valuable.
Yes.
So, and it's like a pretty big-sized duck.
What's the biggest duck?
Oh, finally Gary Chalk was here.
Oh, yeah, I wish.
I'm going to Google biggest duck.
Some sort of like Mongolian.
Okay.
Mongolian.
Male Muscovy duck.
It's the largest duck in North America after the female's half the size.
What's the biggest duck?
Large males reaching 86 centimeters in length and exceeding seven kilos.
You've got seven kilos of solid gold.
Eleanor, you're set for life.
That's great.
You're welcome.
I've Googled largest duck in the world,
and the world's largest rubber duck has come up in Princeton, Minnesota.
Okay, should it be solid gold that size?
Yes, it's huge.
Eleanor, this is actually too much.
All right, let's move away from solid gold.
60 foot tall, 15.15 and a half tonne inflatable rubber duck.
No, too much.
That's too much.
Eleanor would be too powerful.
I think it moves around.
Now there's a photo of it in Detroit.
No, Eleanor would be too powerful.
It's going to be the seven kilo duck.
You get seven kilos of gold,
not multiple times.
Okay, that's enough.
But thank you for listening to us.
Thank you for listening,
but let's not let the power go to your head.
I would love to thank from Edinburgh in Scotland.
Julia Honan.
Julia Honan or Julia Honan has won a cricket bat signed by Australian cricketer Michael Clark.
Whoa.
Even as some of raffles and things you can win.
And they'll be worth this up to a collector at some point.
that in good nick yeah julia over in Edinburgh that's good stuff sure how into cricket you are but
you know I'm sure now that you've got that very into cricket yeah I'd like to think from
I don't know this place erroring erring in New South Wales it's Caitlin Corrigan
Caitlin Corrigan that first and foremost you've won a fantastic name can we put that in our
favourite favourite sounds Caitlin Corrigan that is satisfying Darren Arnowski and Caitlin
Corrigan oh my god that's good and Caitlin
actually won a lifetime supply of nippies.
Oh my gosh.
That's your dream.
I love that.
Is it different flavors?
Nippies is a, well, they do juices, but also my, my favorite thing is their
flavored condensed, not not condensed, um, flavor milk.
Yeah, because sort of that long life milk.
Yes.
Yep.
Um, I love chocolate, strawberry.
Honeycomb is fantastic.
Oh, honeycomb is good.
Um, I like their, not banana though.
Not banana.
I like their ice coffee.
It's a really good ice.
coffee.
So maybe you could pick whichever one.
Yeah.
But a lifetime supply and a lot of the times lifetime supplies is actually kind of bullshit and
they just drop off like a pallet of it and that's it.
This is a genuine lifetime supply.
Like it's on tap.
You let us know when you're running low when you're down to final 24 pack and we'll
overnight ship you some.
We will never let you get below a slab.
You'll never get below a slab of nippies.
Oh, no, I want a nippies.
Caitlin Corrigan, I hope you are not lactose in.
Tolerant.
I would like to thank now from Boambi East, or am I doing two in a row here?
Sorry about this.
Boambi East in New South Wales, Sarah Grant.
Sarah Grant.
Sarah Grant.
Sarah Grant.
Sarah Grant has won a signed life-size cutout of Hugh Grant.
Of Hugh Grant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hugh Grant might be up there with one of my favourite actors now.
He's done a lot of different roles over the last few years, hasn't he?
Well, yeah, because he played one character for about 15 years, maybe longer.
He was great at it.
It looked fantastic.
Nobody was better at that character.
Fop-ish.
I-I-I-I-I-I-O-Y-I-A-O.
St. Peterson's impression of him.
He was charming.
You know, handsome but not like super classically handsome, but beautiful.
Great.
So good in so many rom-coms.
And then he's kind of hit his older age and he's playing some kooky characters.
He's playing villains?
Hit the, I don't give a fuck age.
And he's so good at it.
like he's in, is it the gentleman where he's got this like fun sort of cockney accent?
He plays, he's a villain in Paddington.
And he's amazing, he's so fun.
That's great.
I'm loving him.
So Sarah Grant, that's very valuable to me and I will pay for it.
Yeah, assigned life size cut out a few grand.
Yeah, save that until he dies and then I reckon that'll really do well.
Yeah, absolutely.
I would like to thank from, I assume, maybe Dullich.
Dulwich.
Dulwich in South Australia?
Or knowing us, it could be like Doolwich.
I don't know.
Australia...
It feels like the original one was probably called Dullich and we may have changed it.
It's probably Dullwick.
Honestly, Australia, we give foreigners shit for not being able to pronounce places in our country,
but we can't most of the time too.
But from South Australia, I would love to thank Grace Harmer.
Grace Harmer.
Grace Harmer has...
She's won.
Yes.
The first ever Barbie.
Whoa.
That's a real collector's item.
Still in a box?
Still in a box.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
That'd be worth a lot.
Our editor AJ would be able to tell us how much.
Because we were definitely listening to his report about Barbie.
That's incredible.
What a great win.
And all grace bought was like two raffle tickets for like five bucks each.
Just thinking like, oh, I'll just, you know, I've got 10 bucks on me.
I'll do this for charity.
Yeah.
I'll support my local primary school.
And for some reason, they've got multi-million dollar barbie out for that.
That is huge, grace.
That's great.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Wow, you're on fire.
I'm really glad I stuck to that.
Your turn.
I would like to thank from Carlingford, New South Wales.
It's Ellie.
Ellie.
Ellie.
A Nella Y.
Ali has won.
The Kentucky Derby.
Oh my gosh.
That was the prize.
You are the winner of the Kentucky Derby?
Yep.
Now, Ellie owns the Kentucky Derby
And what, you're going to tell me
That's not worth anything?
Yeah, that's winning.
You thought you won the Kentucky Derby.
I won the Kentucky Derby.
That's pretty impressive.
Well done, Ellie.
Well done.
Congratulations.
From Bristol, the home of that beautiful bridge we love.
Oh, my God.
Is that true?
Is that where that bridge is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's been a while.
The Clifton suspension bridge.
No, the Bristol Bridge.
And I would love to thank Lily Morley.
Lily Morley.
That's fun to say too.
Lily Morley.
Lily Molly.
I like that.
Has one, an assortment of hats.
Whoa.
Name some.
Fares.
Yes.
Deer stalker.
Is there a fedora in there?
I'm just having a look through the box.
Two fedores.
Red and black.
Is there a baggy green?
Yep, one of the backy, actually, yeah.
Is there a bucket hat?
Bucket hat?
No, sorry.
But there is a legionnaires if you want to protect the back of your neck.
That's good.
So there is Sunsmart.
That's great, Lily.
I mean, that's great if you,
were really into dress-ups.
Exactly.
Do with that what you want.
Fantastic.
And finally, should I thank, from Odessa, Florida.
I'd like to thank Erin Campbell.
Aaron Campbell, with two ends.
Love to say it.
Campbell with two L's.
What?
And Erin has won a 155-foot yacht.
That's huge.
Yeah.
I thought the Barbie was worth a lot.
This is probably our best prize yet.
Yeah.
It's big.
It's got a pool.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
It's got five bedrooms.
Oh, wow.
This is amazing.
Each with an onsuit.
It's got a poop deck.
What about a weed deck?
That's just the previous owners were into some weird stuff.
You can use that for whatever you want to use it for.
Maybe just put out some chairs.
Yeah, okay.
But yeah, you've won a yacht.
Congratulations.
Yeah, in Florida.
Beautiful place to yacht.
It's perfect.
So, I hope you don't get seasick like I do.
Thank you.
If you won that, do you think you would just more it and never take it out but live on a lovely five-bedroom home?
Or even the current sitting in harbour?
Make you feel ill.
Great question.
Probably not, though.
No, sitting in a harbour, I'd probably be okay.
Yeah.
It's really the rocking that gets me.
And if it's...
If the yachts are rockin, I'm throwing up.
Thank you to Erin, Lily, Allie, Grace, Sarah, Caitlin, and Christine.
Real lady fest.
Oh yeah.
That's making assumptions.
Yes.
But based on those first names.
Very feminine names.
Yeah.
Thanks guys.
Appreciate it.
You are amazing.
Thanks gales.
Thanks gals.
Thanks, bitches.
You can say that one.
You can say that one.
I'll say thank you supporters.
Goward.
And finally, the last thing we need to do is to welcome a couple of people into the
trip ditch club.
Now, Dave, I will explain the Triptitch Club, and I will do so thusly.
And you're doing a great job.
I'll do a really good job.
This is for people who have supported us on the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years.
We welcome them into this exclusive club.
Once you're in, you cannot leave, but you don't want to.
You have everything you possibly need here.
We've got arcade games.
We've got beds, if you want to go have a little lie down.
Enjoy yourself.
Beautiful bathrooms.
Don't touch the air hockey.
That's mine.
And we have a bar.
You can have anything you need.
Matt is the one who lifts the velvet rope,
lets you into the club, ticks your name off a checklist.
Dave books a band.
Yes, you're never going to believe it.
What have you done?
Oh, my, you're never going to believe it.
I only came across these guys.
Sometimes I'm open to submissions for bands.
Obviously, if you're a record label,
you're a manager of a band,
get in contact if you want to get on.
This is great exposure to be on in our club.
Absolutely, yeah, yeah.
People want to head.
After them, they've seen the bands we've had on.
It's a right of passage for a lot of bands.
So I got hit up recently by a band called You're Never Gonna Believe It.
All the way from Greater Manchester, the indie pop band The Lottery Winners are here.
Dave, that actually works out so well given the topic for this week's report.
I said you're never going to believe it.
Yes, you're absolutely right.
Wow.
So thank you so much to the lottery winners are going to be performing songs off their three studio albums,
including Anxiety Replacement Therapy, which debuted at Nassadbury.
number one in the UK in 2023.
They're a big deal, everyone.
Wow, that is huge.
So, thank you so much.
Behind the bar, obviously, it's a fully stocked bar.
You can have whatever you want.
But just to keep it in the theme with the lottery,
I've just got these gigantic gold bowls filled with chocolate coins.
I love chocolate.
As a kid, you'd get those chocolate coins and then are coming like a little gold net.
Yes.
So the chocolate was never that good, but it was so exciting to get coins and open them up each side.
Yep.
It was thrilling.
It was a really satisfying thick foil too.
Yes.
And you could peel, I can even imagine peeling off one side.
Yes.
And then peeling off the other and you'd have the chocolate.
You're right.
The chocolate was average.
Yeah, but it was so excited.
But I would kill to have chocolate coins again.
Me too.
Well, we don't need to because we're here at the Tripitch Club.
And we have real money.
So we have a couple people to welcome in.
I will play the role of Matt.
I'll read out their names.
You hype them up.
I'll hype you up.
Great.
I'll play the role of Dave.
Correct.
You will be playing Dave.
I'll be playing Matt and Jen.
which essentially when you really boil it down, same character.
Oh, okay.
Have you not noticed?
No?
It's been nearly a decade.
We're the same.
I was going to say, I have longer hair.
Currently, that is not true.
Okay.
First up, I would love to welcome in from Licerow, New South Wales, or Lissarow, Mark Chiswick.
Mark Chiswick.
Mark, on my Mark.
Yes.
On your marks.
It's Mark.
Yeah.
And then he runs in.
That's good stuff
That's great
And from Essendon, Victoria
It's Anna
Anna
What can I say
What can I say?
What can I say?
What runs with Anna?
Go, Anna.
Thank you so much
Anna, what can I say?
What can I say?
Honestly, what can I say?
It's not a patta-a-cotta, it's Anna-cotta.
Yeah, Anaconda.
Anaconda.
My favourite movie of the 90s,
it's Anaconda.
That's not your favorite movie of the 90s.
It's pretty good, though.
It is pretty good.
I watched it recently.
Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez.
Still holds up?
Yes.
It's a bit of fun and an absolutely unhinged South American accent from John Voigt.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
Interesting.
Now I might watch it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you to Anna and Mark.
Welcome in.
Make yourself at home.
Grab a handful of chocolate coins.
You know, we've got so many.
You don't even have to be like, don't ration yourself.
Go nuts.
And please enjoy the lottery winners.
The lottery winners.
They're great.
Their most recent album included collaborations with Frank Turner, Boyd George and Sean Ryder.
There you go.
As well as three spoken word interludes performed by Stephen Fry.
Oh.
They know some great people.
When, okay, you, I was ready to rip into them until the name was Stephen Fry.
Yes.
Anyone else would be like spoken word?
I was like spoken word interludes.
Fuck you.
Stephen Frye.
Fantastic.
I'm listening.
Oh, what a good.
yet. So yeah, thank you so much. Look, finally, that's all from us. We'll get on out of here.
We just want to say how much we love you and that if you would like to suggest a topic,
you can do so over at do go onpod.com, which is our website, where you can also find information
about our other podcasts on our network. We've got a bunch of them now. You can find him for
about live shows, merch, everything's over there. You can find us at Do Go On Pod across
social media as well and we would simply adore if you followed us on TikTok. We're
post some little clips. You can see what we look like if you don't know. Yeah. And we look hot.
Yeah, more often than not, people go, huh, that's not what I thought they look like.
So, I don't know how to interpret that, but I'm going to take it positively. I think I sound really
ugly. Yeah. And then they go, oh, she's not terrible.
Yeah, they look at me and they go, he's fine. He's okay. Why don't they talk so much about how
awful he is? Yeah, he's fine. And it's because on the inside, he's bad.
That's right. From his attitude, I thought he'd be awful. Yeah. The ego doesn't match.
We confirm that for sure.
But yeah, that's all we have to say, Dave.
Boot this baby home.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening.
And until then, goodbye.
Ladies.
Bye!
Matt kind of saying at that time,
Laiters.
If anything, I improved, Matt.
Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list
so we know where in the world you are
and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.
Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,
oh, you should come to Manchester.
We were just in Manchester.
But this way you'll never,
will never miss out.
And don't forget to sign up,
go to our Instagram,
click our link tree.
Very, very easy.
It means we know to come to you
and you'll also know
that we're coming to you.
Yeah, we'll come to you.
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