Do Go On - 453 - The Whiskey Robber, Attila Ambrus

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Attila Ambrus led an extraordinary life in Budapest during the 1990s. Part time ice hockey player, full time gentlemen bank robber... he quickly became a folk hero and the most wanted man in the nation. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 09:32 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://przekroj.org/en/art-stories/banking-on-a-hockey-player/https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/attila-ambrus-the-legend-of-the-whisky-robber-9210484.htmlhttps://kaput-mag.com/stories_en/like-a-sausage-theyve-cut-open-a-visit-to-the-whiskey-robber/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attila_Ambrus https://www.salon.com/2005/12/23/robber/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to another episode of Doogone. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hello. Hello. Dave. Together at last. Can I ask you a question? Hi. Hi. It's so nice to see you.

So anyone else, can I ask you a question? I say, hi. Hi. You try to alternate between saying Matt's name first and my name first. Yes. Every time I think. Is that true? Yeah.

I wouldn't know it either way. Because they're such David. Do you think I should just go with Jess because she's the one who knows it. I care. Okay. Yeah, if she cares, then definitely. Fantastic. Great. Okay. Well, don't worry about it because my question was going to be like, do you keep track of this somewhere or are you just going with your gut? It's a gut, but like it's an informed gut. You know what I've got an advanced gut system.

Oh, yeah, we know. You've made your probiotics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had them all. Yeah. But I think in either first or last name, Jess is ahead of me alphabetically, right? So just say it's alphabetically if you want to make a, When you feel better about it. Yeah. Usually it's whoever's dressed best this week.

That's always me. I'm a friend Matt has picked you this week by matching a yellow hat with a little bit of yellow on the jumper. Yeah. That doesn't really make that yellow pop. He's exasurizing. He looks beautiful. Both of you look beautiful. Not your value.

You could do the thing that always makes me feel uncomfortable when boomer men do it and go ladies first. Okay. So that would still be me first. So I say, welcome to the show. Matt butts in ladies first. My name is Steve Mornik. Sorry, then you go ladies first. I'm here with Jess Filkins.

I'm not sure. Yeah. It was ladies, alphabetically, is before men. So I think that makes sense. Hey, just before we get into the show, I don't know if we've talked about it that much, but we're doing clips now of the show. They're up on TikTok. Video clips.

Video clips. That's a good point. That's probably the key part of that, actually. Yeah, it's visual. It's not just a smaller person of this audio. They're on Instagram, Facebook, pretty much all the place we're on. And you can find us that do go on pod everywhere, apart from TikTok. we've also added cast

because of the kids I don't think they'd get it if we didn't spell it out they said to us what's a pod we did focus groups with kids yeah they said I don't get it

like a podcast and they went oh okay so we do go on podcast on TikTok either that or when we signed up we forgot and we just

no do go on pod wasn't available wasn't available yeah I had to be doing I was really I was really that Dave Ornike

was taken on TikTok and I was like then I remember that a year earlier I'd sign up and take it so it's me

got it because you're like how many Dave Hockes could they be I'm on Dave wanting to get everything else. Yeah. The clips on Instagram tend to do okay. Nothing's gone crazy, but they go okay.

But the ones on TikTok haven't been getting many views, but one of them got a few a month or so ago. Yeah. And I thought I'd, and it was the only one that really got going because people were commenting and I think that tickles the algorithm in ways it likes. I just want to read out a few of them. As opposed to like, I don't like being tickled on my feet, for example. No, exactly.

I'll kick you. Yeah. The algorithm likes it. it on the nipples. Yes. So comment to tickle the algorithms nipples if I'm using internet speak properly. That's right. We also ask the kids during the focus group. They said that's what we should say. They said that's what they should say. So they said it's not weird. If anyone, if anyone listening does, you know, want to go look at these videos, comment on them. That helps us, I believe. And if you tickle the nipples, then that'll really help us. Yeah. That's either more on all the algorithms.

Yeah. Here's some of the comments. So the video had Jess asking, what's the American word? for garbage or rubbish. For rubbish. I guess garbage. Dave said trash. And then it kicked off a lot of comments. I'd say the majority of comments were pretty positive. There was some negative.

Well, it was probably 50-50. I reckon then there was a lot in the middle that were, we say both garbage and trash. Garbage is wet. Trash is dry. I love that. I love that distinction. So that was really helpful. Here's a few others.

Here's a few comments that were kind of directed at us. Okay. which I got enjoyed. I think this one's about me, although Dave also has a beard. Beanie man... This is a... Gorka Monka wrote,

Beardy Man sounds like a robot trying to hide. They're not human. And Glasses guy is from that movie Fargo. Did you? I didn't know that. Is that Bisham's in that one? Okay.

I didn't realize it was a basheemian. I just thought your vibe was like snowy. Oh, maybe Fargo cast. Sorry, I've got to go movie. No, he was in the TV show, I think. He wasn't in the movie. Either that or I'm being compared to William H. Macy. Oh, yeah.

Or Andy McDowell? No, Andy McDonner or what I'm? Francis McDowellon. Oh, my God, yes. We should also say we were doing American accents or attempting to. That's true. So it's not just your normal voice sounds like a weird sex robot or whatever I said. Oh, no, I didn't have, yeah, I didn't put that together.

Your American is a weird sex robot. Yeah, I'll, I'll, I could read the next one. In American, if you like, so people get an idea. Kirk writes. Jesus. Never seen people laugh so hard at something that's not even remotely funny. Okay. Which I thought was fun.

Glissorine enthusiast writes, the government needs to restrict access to podcast equipment. I miss that one. I didn't say that one. What government? You know, the world government. Sorry, the US government, the world government. A lot of, yeah, true. In their mind.

Number one. A lot of them also talk to us about being British. Yeah, so I've got a category of... So is it the British government that should be restricting podcasting equipment? Chaz Donut commented on me writing, the redhead looks aggressively American. Okay. Aggressively so. But this is probably my favourite of the ad hominin or whatever you say attacks.

Hallway beatbox battle says They're all misshapen Which I mean I get it It's not wrong Is it? Do you think they're all cut In different ways

Which one of us is misshapen Is it a possibility They're holding their phone up In the wrong way The aspect ratio is blown out a little bit Dave I think you're being a bit defensive There mate Let's be real

We are misshapen Ferret says So instead of trash diaper and pacifer Passifer So instead of trash Daper and pacifier.

They say rubbish, nappy and dummy, and they think where are the weird ones? We do, I should say, we don't, we don't think America's weird.

We love America. Yeah, big fans. We've been trying to come to your country for a tour for about four years. For quite a while. You won't let us in.

It's very difficult. And it sounds like that that might be a popular choice for some. But actually, the US Embassy liked that video on Instagram. Oh, interesting.

So I think we have a pretty good chance. We're one step closer. Yeah, getting there. And I don't know how they saw it. because I didn't use any hashtags on Instagram, but you know what hashtag I did use that has attracted all of these Americans?

Hashtag America. Oh, wow. What, isn't it? That's kind of scary that the embassy, as soon as you do anything vaguely American, they're like, they liked it. That's the show. How are they on to you?

We're watching. How'd they find us? Trolla 85 says, if it weren't for kangaroos and Steve Irwin, Americans wouldn't even remember you exist. That hurts, Scott. Well, that's just because of your poor education system. I know, that's not a brag, that's not a brag, man.

No, we're just a smaller. And Steve Edwards dead. That guy probably couldn't even name four countries. And he's bragging about that. Look, well done, man. Yeah, that's funny. Like, Australia is a small country. Like, our whole population would fit in one of their big cities.

So it makes, like, I understand that. But we're also, the video wasn't us going, we weren't even make photo. We were just having a bit of fun. Finally. my favourite exchange. Aunt Jen Jen wrote, not sure where the humour is. Not sure where the humour is. And got to reply, you'll find it one day. Keep trying. And Aunt Jen Chin Chin said, not in this video. And then the person replied, are you okay? And Aunt Jen Jen said,

perfectly fine. Just not sure where the humour is. Oh my God, three comments. Thank you so much, Argen, for that engagement. And I'm sure all the people who comments we read out there have found out of podcast, subscribe to it. And they're listening to this right now. So thank you very much. The system works. A pleasure to have you on board.

We're ready to have you here. No, but yeah. And if you don't know, yeah, check out those clips. You can see our misshapen heads. Hey, no, no, no. We're not misshaping. Well, one of us is misshaping in the head, but the other two are misshaping in different ways.

Okay. I'm bigger than you'd think. In a weird way. In a weird way. Long nips. Easy to tickle. But shall I explain how this podcast works? Yes, if people are.

found us from the wonderful world of TikTok there. Jess, what are they about to hear? We welcome you. Well, how this works is one of the three of us. Research is a topic usually suggested to us by our wonderful listeners. They research it. They write a little report on it. They tell us all about it.

And the other two sit quietly. We never interrupt. We never go on dog shit riffs. And we never do bad accents. And we always get onto the topic with a question. Dave, do you have a question for us? Yes, I have a question for you. And that is, what is the alcoholic drink of choice for us?

a quote-unquote, gentleman robber. Oh, brandy. That's actually pretty good. Actually, it's probably less, if I can borrow a word there, hoity-toity than brandy. Whiskey. It is whiskey, Jess. Wait, hang on.

Which kind of whiskey? With or without the E? I am going with the E. Okay, that's what I said. Jess said without it. Whiskey with the E. So I get the point there. Soutle difference in pronunciation.

Jess. He's obviously got you there. Un-fucking believable. It is Whiskey. Today we are talking about Attila Ambrose, the Whiskey Robber, completing our triptitch of heist's swindles and robberies from the last couple of weeks. Love it. We love a heist. We love a swindle. And this was not planned, was it? Or was it planned by you? Absolutely not, because I've, Patreon supporters voted for this many, many weeks ago now. They voted for mine as well last week. So I didn't even know what, yeah, we didn't know what you guys were going to talk about.

The patrons are just hot for a, for a heist right now. They love it. And you can get involved and vote for topics to get hundreds of bonus episodes, all sorts of rewards. We'll talk about at the end and the like at patreon.com slash do go on pod. This topic in particular has been suggested by Alex Bain from Dublin, Julie Bay from Iowa, USA, and Cynthia Henderson, also in the USA in Nevada. Thank you so much for your suggestions. Nevada.

When will I learn? Thank you. And Dublin. I'm saying that correct. Dublin. never heard of the whiskey robber. No. But this one really caught my eye in the hat, had a great little pitch.

Okay. So that's when anyone can suggest a topic we should say. And you give us a little pitch. Why should we talk about it? And we go through the many thousands of suggestions. And sometimes things pop out at you. Yeah. And obviously, Patreon, thought, that sounds cool too.

So let's start. Born in Transylvania in Romania in 1967, Attila Ambrose had a rough childhood. His mother abandoned him when he was young, his grandmother who was close with died soon after, and he was left with his violent alcoholic father. Eventually, he ended up being looked after by his uncle and aunt, he tried to send him to school without much success. The young Ambrose was frequently in trouble for stealing,

including when he and his friends decided to start a band, a lovely wholesome activity. Yeah, I don't see how that could get any young boys in trouble. Stealing instruments? Yes, instead of buying instruments, they just stole them from another local band. Stealing songs. Serring lyrics. They stole them all.

And he was arrested and he was sent to a juvenile correctional facility. For stealing instruments. Yeah. Come on. But also for stealing lyrics and songs. Oh, no, that, you should be. That's a crime. Sampling without getting the clearance from Sony Records.

Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Absolutely. Voitek Antenau writing for the Polish magazine, Peshkroy. Which I had to look up how to pronounce this. Pronounce this. Oh, my God. It's going to be rough.

I'm questioning myself already. Peshkroy, he writes, under the rule of Romanian President Nikolao Chalcchescu, ethnic minorities had almost no rights, so the situation in the lands populated by the Chezcles, which are a group living in Romania, it was hopeless and everybody dreamt of escaping to Hungary. In trouble with the police and having no prospect to speak of, a young Ambrose decided to cross the border illegally and seek his fortune in Budapest. So Ambrus went to a train station near the border of Hungary, hid under one of the cars of a freight train, which was very risky as he could have fallen onto the tracks at any point during the two-hour journey, but he made it to Budapest to the capital of Hungary.

He had no money, nothing but the clothes on his back, which were now filthy from riding underneath the train. Yeah, that's not the best place to be. But you say he could have. Like, if you flew there, the plane could have crashed at any point. Could have, would have, should have, didn't. Okay, that's number one. Number two, Budapest. Okay.

If you're going to pronounce right, pronounce it. sounds right, okay? Budapest. I went there and maybe my tour guide had a speech impediment, but... But it's locked in for me. Budapest. Well, I haven't been there, so I'm going to have to go from you remembering a man who possibly had a speech impediment. So we made it to the Hungarian capital of Budapest.

I don't think you're hitting it too hard, but we'll get there. You hit it at an interesting time. Wait, you might... Toot. Lots of lovely buildings. Look at him all. My tour guide was gold member from Austin Powers. Honestly, that's what I was really channeling that interesting.

It was a time of transition. Oh, stop that there. Just after it had left the Soviet Union, this was late 80s into the early 90s. For 44 years before, this Hungary had been a satellite state of the Soviet Union, where over the decades, the people had been suppressed. There was an attempted revolution in the 1950s. There were big violent crackdowns, thousands were killed, and even more fled the country. But Hungary's transition from communism to capitalism was peaceful and prompted by economic

stagnation and domestic political pressures. But it wasn't smooth sailing because from the early 1990s, things were rapidly privatized and there were severe economic suppression. And there was a severe economic suppression. Vuech-Oytec writing in for the Polish magazine, Peshkoy sums it up as, sudden unrestrained privatisation allowed a select few to get rich or the rest had to fend for themselves.

And sell-on.com ads, like the rest of the former Soviet bloc, Hungary was struggling with by-products of democracy it hadn't seen, unemployment, homelessness, and a spiraling crime rate. And a side effect from decades of repression was a distrust in authority that we all see in today's story.

Hmm. So that's sort of the background of where he's living. Back to our guy now in Budapest. Okay. Well, is that a different place or where's he moved? Somewhere I haven't heard of. Certainly. It's a neighbourhood just outside Budapest and it's very confusing.

Very confusing. There's three parts of Budapest. Do you know that? Of what? Of where? Budapest. Uh-huh. And what are the three?

Uh, I think it's Buddha. Oh, Buddha. and Pest? Is that right? Wow. You're telling us the fact and then asking us if it's right. I don't know. Did I tell you this in an Irish pub in downtown Budapest? Budapest, yes.

That's where I stayed at the very problematic Aboriginal hostel. Oh, that's right. You have said that before. Wow. What a strange theme choice. Very strange, but the guy hadn't been, but loved Australia. Okay. No further questions.

Back to our guy. Now in Budapest, Attila Ambrose made a living through a variety of old jobs, including as a grave digger, a baker, a pelt smuggler, and an electrician. Which I love that you just sort of do that as an odd job. Yeah. Yeah. I reckon I can work this out. Yeah. I can put in some power points for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Handyman jobs are often like, you know, it's like untrained carpentry. Yeah. But untrained electrician. I mean, untrained carpentry is a little diet. Yeah, depending on how structural it is, but I'm trained electrician. I think I'm going to, I'm going to have a go at this, actually.

I hadn't thought about it, but I might put my hat in the ring. I'm going to take an ad in the local paper. Never put your hat in the ring. That's rule one. Yeah. Put your fork in the ring. Exactly. Yeah.

Test if the electricity's running. Yeah. The hat won't conduct shit. Running. You're good to go. Now I speak like dish. Sight of it. But he decided to.

return to his childhood love, ice hockey. Okay. Is that a twist? That feels like a bit of a twist. If I either I drifted off or that, there was... So he's been doing odd jobs because he's got no money, he's got no, you know, real employment to... How old is he when he's fled to Budapest? In his early 20s?

Okay. Has he given up music as an idea? Yes, sadly. He's going back to ice hockey. Okay, sure. So he had been very talented as a child and seemed to have a future ahead of him, which sadly had been derailed when. he was arrested for stealing the musical instruments.

You know, I went to Jubey. And despite not having played in almost a decade, Attila decided to call up Upecht, T.E, one of Hungary's top ice hockey clubs, and 13-time Hungarian league winners. So, like, top division, one of the country's best teams. That's like calling the Boston Celtics. Exactly, being like any open spots.

I'm calling the opals, saying if they need a forward. Preferably on the left side. I'm pretty shit on the right. And they're like, oh, we've only got a wing attack. And you're like, oh, don't waste my time. How dare you? So he rang them up and he introduced himself on the phone. And players from Transylvania apparently have a fearsome reputation on the ice,

the sort of enforcer types. Cool. And he was invited down to try out as a goalie. Sure. They were like, great. A lot of other people from your area of the world have turned out to be really good players. Maybe you could too. Fascinating.

Come on down. Okay. He stepped out onto the ice and was immediately a little bit wobbly. Which is so great. You're like, yeah, I'm good enough for your top leg. Yeah, yeah. And then you can barely stand. Well, it's been a while.

I haven't got my ice legs back yet. Have you seen there's this clip that went around age a while ago of bloopers? They were trying to film an ad. I think it's for a car, but there's like three people walking across the ice. but two of them are in like mascot outfits. Like one of them's dressed as like a polar bear and he's walking like us

and he keeps falling over. And so you just see this bear just keep stacking it. And then you can even see like the little gestures of like, oh, damn it! From the person inside? It's so cute. Getting frustrated inside a costume.

Just keep falling. Good stuff. That's what I'm imagining. Yeah, yeah. He's at, really, this goalie. Oh my God. Budapest was formed.

the same year the St Kilda Football Club was 1873, merging three neighbouring cities, pest, Buddha and O Buddha. And that's no coincidence that it's the same year as the same. No coincidence, though. Onus and killed us twin cities, is it? They were inspired. Wait, is the Hungarian flag, red, white and black? I think they've got green.

Oh. Like the grass. Like the grass at Marabin. Red, white and green, yeah, all right. So he stepped out under the ice. Wobble a bit. Not a great start. And it went from bad to worse as professional players from the team started pelting

pucks at him and he was completely lost. Soon it was target practice and he was just copping them all over. And they were just hitting them in. Cop and puffs. Was he goalie? Yes. He was the goalie. Okay.

Well, that's his job. Yeah, but he was letting them in and also being hit in the face. I mean, being hit in the face, that's good. Letting him in, that's bad. Yeah. Use your face. So he's obviously not up to scratch. Despite this, they saw something in the young man and offered him a job as janitor of the club.

Okay. And it came with a free room, which despite being the size of a cupboard, was greatly received, and he became an integral part of club life. How do you mop an ice rink? Oh, one of those... You use frozen water? No, they use those Zambozies. What are these?

Yeah, Sam. Well, they're called something, aren't they? Jukuzis. You might have nailed that because all I want to say is Zambrero. Zamboni, sorry, everyone. Yes, don't have a huge ice hockey culture here. Sorry, but yeah, so he was... Bit hot.

Yes. He was hot here. We do have teams. We do have a team. We've got a stadium, docklands there. Yeah, I've seen a game there. The Ice House, right? That's cool that you went down there?

Yeah, yeah. What's the team called? Did you see the Zamboni? No, because a game was actively being played. So that literally became his job. That's cool. He was on the Zamboni. I'm sure.

Or it's like we've got a, the name is like the Melbourne ice or something. Nice. I don't know, Melbourne, yeah, Melbourne ice. That's so funny. It'd be like having a basketball team called the Melbourne basket. The difference is it's actually named after the drug and not. Yeah, it's unrelated. We have a problem.

Yeah. We record, really. Well, I mean, we have a problem with death, but the quality of our ice is very good. You're very proud. Very proud of how pure it is. He is killing a lot of young people. From juvenile detention centers. So, like I said, he became a really integral part of the club.

He got on really well with the players and the coach and eventually started being asked to practice with the team, something he never missed. He was always on time, always like one of the hardest work, you know, the least qualified player, but the hardest working player out on the ice. Coach's award material. Exactly.

And people just loved hanging out with him. But the others don't have to work as hard because they are capable of playing the game. Yeah. He's working hard just to stay up. Yeah, yeah. They have a base level capability, probably from playing a lot. Yeah, that's dedicating their lives to it. And so, you know, I understand what you say,

that, like, he's turning up and something. Oh, he's working hard, but the others don't have to work that hard because they can stay up on this. And so because they turned up to practice every week for 10 years whilst he was out stealing musical instruments. Exactly right. He's got a bit of catch-up. Exactly. You've got a catch-up. Yeah, yeah.

But he's working hard, and I appreciate that. But, you know, not to the detriment of the others who are professional athletes. Yes. And with a bit of hard work, he was given the mostly honorific title of the club's third goalie. He didn't get paid to play, but he was technically on their roster. Nice. That's awesome. I love that. Kind of like when I got drafted, I said drafted into the year eight cricket team and I was 13th man.

Yep. Which was a made up position. Yes. But I got to go and miss out of math. So awesome. Because for people who don't know cricket, the 12th man's one who brings the drinks out. Who do you think supplies the 12th man? I'm going, all right. So Chris, you're going to go out there with this.

Here's a power. He's like, I can do this. I can reach into a nice school. So you were, that feels like you're bossing around the 12th man. There's a chain of command, man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I got told off. You just shut up and slice those oranges.

You shut up and stay on the bus. In the hate. Stay on the bus. So even the payers who were getting paid to play, the salaries at the time weren't enough to get buy on, and they all had side careers. One of them owned a video shop, another worked at a used car dealership.

But for Attila, his side gig was as the janitor. But it didn't pay very well, So his other side gig was smuggling pelt furs across the border. Oh, hard to get them up your butt. Got it really hairy else. Get you get them to use one of those vacuum bags. Oh, they suck down really well. They suck down to nearly nothing.

If you've sucked them down, you can get about four or six up there. It's like air in there. Honestly, it's beautiful. It's more comfortable than if nothing's in there. I dread when they take them out. So that was his side gig, but there was a crackdown on that. So he started looking around for another income source. I believe that people on the border were sort of part of the operation,

and they got arrested and replaced with people who actually enforced the law. Oh, okay. It became much harder to do. So that's when he remembered reading about his childhood hero, Ronnie Biggs, the great train robber, who I believe Jess has done a full reporter on, and I'm sure remembers every single detail. Ask me anything. It's all in there locked and loaded

I remember they hit out at a country farmhouse or something at one point Is that sound right? And you went to South America and got plastic surgery? Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. Do you actually remember any of it? No.

That's so amazing. What did not know that that was my report? Yeah, I would guess Dave's as well. There's something wrong with my brain, I think. I mean, it's becoming a bit concerning. It'd be funny if I'm making the ultimate mistake and I've forgotten that I'm pretty sure it was yours. I can't get over the one of the other,

players. He's living the dream life by day, video store. Oh, how good that? By night ice hockey player? Like, as a kid, that would have been so close to the dream. Literally, yeah, when you write down, what do you want to be when you grow up? Well, I want to be either a basketball player or I want to own a video shop. And it's like, well, this guy's doing... You can do it all. He's sick. Athlete and video shop. I did do the great train robbery in, uh, well, the file was in, uh, March of 2018. Wow. What number is it? Does it say this? It doesn't say, no. Fantastic.

Do a bit of your own research. So that's six years ago, is that right? Are we in the year 2024, 2024? 2023. 24, Matt. Time doesn't mean anything to me. Keep up, Matt. Because when you're immortal.

Yes, sure, that makes sense. Time doesn't really mean a lot to me. And the font size is only 12, you know, so that also tells you how young I was. Oh, yeah. Now we're looking at least 14 and 120 Zoom. Now what I mean? I like it, yeah, the 120 Zoom, that's clever, because you get those wasted margins.

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, you fuck off, I don't need that. You're coming for me quick at 18. I'm needing to wear glasses to watch TV at my home now. Oh my God. It's not good. Not at your home. At my home.

You're coming for me quick at 18 is something that I don't want anyone. I don't want to take out of context either, please. I didn't know you when I was 18, and I would not have been coming for you, mate. Not quick. Yeah. It would have been long and arduous. No, thank you. You can buy me a vodka raspberry and then fuck off.

Fuck off. Fuck off, old man. Until I finish this and you can buy me another. I am not coming for you, quick. It'll take weeks. You're going to have to wear me down. It really was the olden days. Will you marry me?

No, ask 20 more times. Oh, it's fun. Is it? It's hard to tell sometimes. Well, I think in this case, if you're having fun, we're having fun. Is that not always the case? Yeah, that is. We go by your vibe.

Yeah. I carry this show on vibes alone. Okay? You carry it, but you also kill it. Depending on your mood. There are times where I'm like, this one's going to be a toughie. Jess is not in. Oh, no.

Luster. Yeah, sorry about that. I'm in here. We're talking about the great train robbery. Yeah. I've looked it up. I had time. 142 there.

Episode 142. Okay, that I don't feel bad about not remembering. Yeah, over 300 episodes ago, everyone. So, but anyway, our main character this week, Attila, he read about Ronnie Biggs as a kid, sort of fascinated by it, read his book religiously and now decided that he needs money to put what he'd picked up from the book into practice. Sure. So he didn't know that when he first tried crime.

He hadn't done the study. Exactly. So that's why he got busted. Now he's worked it. He can stand up on ice almost. Yeah, almost. So he could. Almost on his own two feet.

He could probably, you know, do an ice robbery. I reckon. When he was a kid, he had three jobs he wanted to do. We wanted to own a video shop, ice hockey player, great train robber. Yep. And now. And the teacher said he'd never do it. And he's about to fail at all three.

His target, the local. So obviously Ronnie Biggs did big trains, millions of dollars. Attila, his first target, the local post office. Ah, a lot of people sending money in birthday cards. Stamps, people collect them. Yeah. Exactly. You get it early.

That shit, that's up. Yeah. Sometimes they have like a USB charger. Oh, yeah. For, you know, an iPod that hasn't been around for 20 years. A lot of, as seen on TV boxes around the place. Like it's like a sharp knife. Care Bears plush toys.

Very relevant. A few different types of key ring. I wonder how universal this is. Like, even is this Australia wide? Because it's Australia post everywhere right in Australia. So we would have weird. It's just, it's a weird little shop. It's a weird little shop.

Yeah. And it's evolved that way, right? It wasn't always like that. I feel like they used to have a lot more customers than they do. Now they've found themselves with lots of room. They're like, let's just fill it up with like $3 books. They're slowly morphing into a $2 shop. Yeah.

Yeah. And some weird shit in there. I love it. And then a little. pull-down thing to get your passport photo taken. Their place has everything. They do it all. They do it all.

It's beautiful. On the way out, they're like, shine your shoes. Yeah. What else you need? Did you want to lift home? Do you want to lift home? I've got a liter of milk. I'm probably not going to get to.

Do you want that? Milk as seen on TV. I'm sure milk's been on TV. I'm sure it is. But it had, so he chose the local post office in Budapest because it had no security and it felt like a really easy mark. They do cash transactions.

They've got a till. No one really expects the post office. They've got a till. It's meant for him. His name's all over this job. I don't know if I caught this. What era are we in? When you said USBs, I'm like,

I've been picturing this in the olden days, but it can't be that old. This is early to mid-90s. Okay. So USBs for old iPods. Yeah. The original. Okay, sorry, a diskman.

There we go. I've updated. No, I was picturing it in black and white. Yeah. But, of course, Ronnie Biggs was only in the 60s, so yeah, and makes sense that it's. I'm guessing, now that I have all the context, probably early 90s. Wow, he's good.

He is good. Yeah, like before he was like, is you a goalie? Yeah, that was two sentences ago. We let that one go, Matt. Well, I was just surprised because you were saying it was bad that he was being hit by the Puts. I'm like, that's the job. It was more that they all lined up and I think they were like, this guy sucks.

It's a bit of fun just to smash, just to peg these pugs. it basically and it sort of became, you know, professional athletes, bullying a guy who said, oh, I'm pretty good. Yeah, I reckon I could play for you. No, you're not. This, it does sound like it has bits in common with the mighty ducks. Yeah. Is he Goldberg?

But, you know, Goldberg gets great. He does get great. And that's the thing. They just got to give him a chance. That's right. Well, I told he's working hard. Yeah, he's the hardest worker. He's the hardest worker.

So now he's got three jobs. This guy's huge. Busy. So his local post office, I'm going to rob it. He put it on a disguise consisting of an old suit, a large wig, an oversized shoes in case the police tried to match his footprints, always thinking ahead. It also means you can't run away. If they're way too big, you know, I'd go way too small.

Oh, that's great. I go baby shoes. And as you're running. I do that anyway. But yeah, that's good because then I would also say, has a distinctive mating call or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you replace your feet with, like, I don't know, footprints of like a duck or something?

Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, we were robbed by some, by a giant duck, and then the person behind the two is like, no, it's definitely a man. No, no, no, no, these duck prints really beg to differ. I'm just thinking, you know, I put on like a men's size 10 shoe or something. I'm falling over. That's too dangerous. Well, that's, I think he's wearing basically clown shoes.

Wouldn't your foot would slip out of him as well? He must be wearing multiple pairs of socks. Yeah. Big, thick explorers off. Three. Three explorers. Yeah. He's hot, actually.

It's too warm. If they're so big, you could put on your shoes inside the other shoes. Oh, yeah. I'm quite small. I'm a size eight, quite small. But if I put, I could probably get that into a size 14 or something. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nightmare for some people, so many layers on your feet. Like the brista from around the corner here. Yes. She, was, were you there when she said, she said, I was wearing thongs. And she said, oh.

So good. You must feel great having the toes out. I have to wear shoes here. I call them foot prisons. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, in hospitality you do have to wear clothes shoes. I'm a big fan of that. Yeah. But she's great. She says something great like that every third visit. She'll say something that I'm reaching for the notepad. Yeah. So can you say that again slowly? I have to write that down. So he's wearing the wig, he's wearing the suit, he's wearing the clown shoes. He's wearing

ready to go, but he got nervous before the job. So he nipped into the bar next door to the post office to have a whiskey. Okay. Okay. Is this where he gets his name? Which is so funny for me to imagine a man wearing this ridiculous outfit, just sort of sitting in the corner, sort of jeeing himself up for robberies. He sort of drinks his whiskey, which I believe he took with ice. Okay. On the rocks. That's probably his trademark, but it would be smarter to have a drink you hate. Because they're going to be like, oh, yeah, we know something about him who loves whiskey. whiskey on ice. That's his, that's part of his thing. Yeah, if you come out and you say local, at the local bar, you know what I mean? Always have a white Russian, you go, well, I'm actually lactose intolerant.

Yeah. That can't be me. Well, we do actually know that the robber keeps shitting himself. The duck, the duck man has squirted. So that does actually track. Sorry. And that was not his, his mouth. Yeah. Somebody step on a duck. Yeah, there's a squelchy robber. His pants were also too big, but which left room. For some accidents. So, adult bot.

He's wearing a napier, yeah. So he had a couple of whiskeys. Sure. And he might have almost stayed too long at the bar because after some whiskeys, more than a couple actually, he headed next door to the post office, only to find that they were shutting up shop for the day. He'd stayed and, you know, but to be fair, post office, they closed at like four o'clock or something in Melbourne anyway, in Australia.

Yeah, but check that. Yeah. Check that. That's one of the things you've got to check. You're walking past, opening hours, all right, have to be back before four. Okay, no worries. Roger that. He sort of stumbles in and goes, crap.

So he pushed the lady at the door, who's like sort of closing up for the day, inside, pulled out a fake gun and said, this is a robbery. She's like, I just want to go home. I was just finishing up. Could you not have come in any time between 8 a.m. and 4? Honestly. While I was on the clock. Sorry.

I'm not being paid for this. So this isn't actually, you know, I'm not here for this. Yeah. To be honest. I'll lock up, you do you. Yeah. I'm done. But also, at end of the day, they've probably put the money in the safe

and she can't get it at, you know? So what happened was? We do so many hoist and robbery reports, and I would say for the most part, Dave will first tell us about how much they've studied. They've watched the shop. They go the perfect time to go in. There's a clank on the pipes at this time.

So if we break the safe, they won't know that it's happening for this guy. It's got drunk and gone, Oh, shit. Oh, quick. Oh, God. Yeah, you know, other times we're like, all right, they've got a crack team of 16 people. We've got the guy that can do the back flips over the laser wires.

They've been practicing in a warehouse for four months, eight hours a day. But this guy's like, oh, no. What, knocking in. Let me in. I need to rob you. Let me in. I was joking when I said he was going to fail at a third thing. I was, but it sounds like he's hopeless at this as well.

Well, so he pushed the lady in. She completely froze. So, Attila. Ice. The ice man. Meets the ice woman. Turns out he was so drunk. It was actually just a cardboard cut out.

She's like, she's frozen. She's just scared. It's a cardboard cut out of like Mark Taylor, the cricketer with a Fujitsu. Sort of advertising and air conditioning product. Mark, Mark, open the show. Come on, Tommy. Please. Yeah, please.

I need this. So he had to help himself to the cash, which luckily the cast drawers was still open as they were sort of packing up for the day. Oh, great timing. So he then, he sort of stuffed into a bag. He then ran away pounding the pavement in his clown shoes that almost caused him to trip. He sped up as he heard shouts of robber bind him. The lady that was frozen, quick, like once he left went, oh my God, oh my God, what's happened?

So she's a thief, robber, robber, robber. But thanks to his ice hockey training, which he'd been doing, remember, he never missed a session. He was now extremely fit and was able to easily escape despite the clown shoes. This is great. He did it. He did it. It's so funny that the people I choose to support on this show. But I'm on his side.

I only just met this woman. Yeah. I didn't know her from a bar or so. He didn't heard of it. I've known him since he was born. Yeah, yeah. He'd even known everything about this guy. He's strapped himself to a train.

He's had ice hockey. Yeah. Pelted at him. You know his name? Yeah, Tiller. Great. Yeah, we're listening. Teller the honey.

That could be, that'd be fun. What do you think? That's good stuff. That's a fun drag name. Yeah. Oh, that's actually a great. He's a tra-name. Attila to honey.

Yes, please. Wow. A bit of fun. So he counted his hall. It was 548,000 forrants. Oh. Which is a Hungarian currency, which is about 5.5,000 US dollars, give or take.

That's not bad. Which to him was an absolute fortune. Yeah. He couldn't believe he was working for minimum wage as a janitor in like an economy that was already very tough for most people. So he was like, this is more money than I've ever seen in my entire life. But you were saying... Yes.

Go freelance. Going from rink to rink and then you realize it's hungry. It's only... The Budapest on the house one. Oh, crap. You were saying that obviously it's a really tough time for a lot of people, but for some, it's great. Yeah, that's right. Some people are very wealthy.

Just a small... As tough... Because I'd like to be one of them. Exactly. I think that the key is, like, as the banks and post office and stuff had privatised, some people went in there and were like, well, I'll buy the bank. Yeah. And then they become billionaires.

Yeah. Sort of like what people say in Russia are oligarchs. Sort of take over one part of the, what was previously, you know, government run, and then they take it over and then they become a billionaire. I think that has sort of, that kind of thing has happened here where some people have become incredibly rich, while a lot of people are incredibly poor. That sounds like a good system. Yeah, I can't fault that. You want to, you know, you want to, don't you want to divide out the wealth? That's what they say.

Divide it out. amongst a lot to some. A small group. It still adds up to 100. Yeah, that's the main thing. That's it. You got a problem when it doesn't add up to 100. That's when you got a problem.

Hey, we can still account for all the money. I just have all the money now. Yeah, I've got it. I'm accounting for it right now in my yacht. Nothing's gone missing. So he was like, it's so easy. He thought I'd found a new career. You know, I've made more money one day than I would in a couple of years.

Yeah, yeah. I've done my other job. Let's, you know, there was an hour's work. I got drunk. Easy. Great. Two months later, he did his second robbery. This time, doubling his take from the first job, and he had improved his technique saying, in the beginning, I was far too polite.

But later on I realized you have to show self-confidence to be a proper bank robber. You be polite and confident. Yes. Look at Dave Warnocky. Yeah. Far too confident. But very polite.

But very polite. And a great bank robber. Too polite. Yes. Yeah. Please place the money in the bag. Now, you know, That's the confidence. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please do it soon. Please. Please. Okay, please. Please. Honestly, I can hear the sirens. Come on. I think that might be coming for me.

You're losing the confidence, so. Confident, polite. Yeah. Panic. CPP. From there, there was no looking back. It was all too easy. He robbed banks, post offices, and travel agents, all of which at the time had almost

no security whatsoever. Under the old communist system, the country had only recently walked away from, armed robbery was simply unheard of. It's just not a common crime whatsoever. They didn't have security guards, alarm systems, and CCTV was incredibly rare. Just the perfect time to get into the game. Yeah, for sure. They're just not ready for it.

Because the next guy is going to have a lot more trouble. Yeah, yeah. Because they'll be ready. Today's bank robbers, you know, they have to be so clever about it. Yeah, it's tough. High definition cameras everywhere. And like, okay, well then I'll just, I'll hack people's bank accounts. That's traceable.

Oh, great. You know, it's tough out there for Roberts these days. But I've got a VPN. Well, they've somehow figured out a way around that. Yeah, yeah. What? I don't know. Is that possible?

You've transferred it directly into your bank account and that was a bit of a mistake. I think Dave just realized that his VPN isn't going to save him. What? Oh, no. I have to make some calls and burn some laptops. I've been hacking. I've been hacking all night. You've been hacking away.

So he's going on a robbing spray. Yes. But also, I mean, I know we're joking about how hard it is for robbers these days. But humans really do ruin everything, don't we? Like, you had a bank. You could go into the bank, get some money out, and off you go. Because there wasn't security, because there was no need for security. And now it's like, everything has a security guard.

All right, job, what about? Job. All right, job. What about Jess? All right, Jess, what about this? Yeah. Creating jobs. Creating jobs.

Security guards. Okay. Okay, job. Okay, job, what about this? And let's be honest, the old system wasn't perfect either because I believe it was there was no robberies because if there was anyone committing a crime whatsoever, they'd be worried that the government would make them disappear. Right. So there was also. There's that.

But that also helps the job market or put the job seekers because that's, because that's, one less person you're competing with. True. So either way, either one more job available or one less person looking for a job. Either way, you are better off. Yeah. People said, what happened to Daniel, our lead accountant, disappeared. Disappeared, but there's a vacancy.

That's nice. System works. They all work. So he started, you know, robbing full time. But also working as an ice hockey guy. Wow, it sounds like part time, man. Yeah, part time, part time. But it sort of became his lead.

his main job. Right. Before that this is on the side, but now he's like, no, this is my main. It's certainly his main income. Yep. Yeah.

For sure. So I think at some stage you have to go, well, this is the one that's giving me years worth of salary in one go. I probably do need to dedicate some time to it. You know what I mean? Obviously, I'm very passionate about ice hockey.

I'm one of the best in the country. But I am going to have to put in some time and effort into robbing. Yeah, that's his career now. And hockey is just, you know, it's a hobby. A passion.

And it's good to have hobbies. Of course. Yeah. And you know what? You don't have to make every hobby a job. Because then you end up with no hobbies. And lots of jobbies. Too many jobbies.

It's a weird energy today. I don't hate it. I'm just confused by it. I'm having a nice time with my friends. I really hope that if he eventually gets done, it's in a warehouse full of zambonies. Like he's just gone. Stop on every cent on zambonis.

Well, I. I hope I don't disappoint you. I haven't read Ed. That's exciting for everybody. You got chat GPT to write this? I really did. We should do that one time. Yeah, that would be pretty funny.

None of this happened. Yeah, I think the biggest downside of it is that it makes stuff up. Apart from that, it sounds like a great thing. Yeah, I saw there was something recently where they were quoting an onion article as it was fact. Unless that I was also reading an onion article. But it would like there was some. you know, satire article about how scientists are saying adding rocks in your diet is good for, and then one of those AI intelligence things were saying that that was fact.

Good for your diet if you eat a couple of pebbles. Oh my God, are you telling me that was fake? I've got to make some more calls. Burn some laptops. Dave. Dave. Dave, they've got, I don't think the burning of the laptops is going to help. You've still saved it all to the cloud, mate.

Oh, no. I'll have to burn down the clouds. Dave, those stones are still going to be in you. Oh, God. Whether or not you burn, the thing that told you to do it. So, he's like, I'm going to do more of this. He carefully chose his targets. You'd be happy to know, Jess. There is some rhyme and reason here.

Okay. And he took a bit from the Ronnie Biggs book. He was inspired by his childhood hero. He messed the distance to the local police stations, planned at least two escape routes, and observed the routines of the buildings and the people who work this. Okay. From the first couple of smashing grabs,

he started thinking about it. He would don't... Well, you have to if you're going to make a career out of it. He would don a series of elaborate disguises incorporating wigs, facial hair and costumes. He also made sure that there was a bar nearby that he could have a whiskey at. Sure.

It's his ritual. Yeah. Exactly. It's part of it. I get that. I used to have a little gingerbread before I went on air on radio. Coffee and gingerbread. If you didn't have one, then you start thinking,

oh my gosh, it's not going to go well today. Yeah. Yeah, big time. Wow. And those are my worst shows. knows. People could tell. People texting and saying, Yes, you're off today. Had you GB? Yeah. What's going on?

Your GB and C? Yeah. Have you had one today? No. And it shows. I know. That's the why you feel weird. Yeah. We need to get you with GBNC.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, guys. You're great. The Independent, which has a great article I'll link to, writes. Ambrose soon became addicted to the adrenaline buzz of robbery. He said, it became like a game. When I started getting into the role, I got kind of an urge, and I managed to give the authorities a ride so many times,

it became something of a sport. After a while, my main point was to succeed. Oh, yeah. Because it's tricky, isn't it? Because I'm sitting here like, I reckon I would want to, I'd do a few and then go, that's enough money, you know? Yeah, but he can't quit while he's ahead. I know, that's what always seems to be the case.

And it is like, yeah, when you're winning big at the casino and stuff, you're like, well, what have I got to lose? All of that. You could lose all of that. all of what you've just won. That's free money. Yeah, it's interesting when it does get sort of addictive for them. Amazing that you do mention the casino there.

Okay. Because he also was addicted to gambling. Fantastic. Fantastic. And this was the way he would feed his addiction was he needed more money to keep gambling. Just the casinos would love what he's doing. Basically, they're just taking all the proceeds from these crimes. They're laundering, aren't they?

Yeah. Yeah. For themselves. So I imagine if he ever gets done, they'll be like, you need a lawyer, mate. We'll give you the best lawyers in town. We can't. We can't lose this customer. Before every robbery, he would go to a nearby bar in disguise, like I said, and have a whiskey or a three or four.

Love to drink. Okay. They should be celebratory whiskeys, ideally, you know? Go, here's a little, hey, someone to look forward to. Earn it. Earn it first. Exactly. You can't go straight to the drink.

Yep. You got to party afterwards. I'd just get sleepy too. And I'm not doing my best robbing when I'm sleepy. But, you know, everyone's different. Yeah, but no, it would really g-em up. And afterwards, the bar would work out, the guy drinking at the bar in disguise, was the guy who ended up robbing the place two doors down.

So the press started dubbing him the whiskey robber. So they gave him the nickname. It also means he's telegraphing that that's what he's going to be doing as well, right? They see someone in a weird disguise drinking whiskey. They're like, I'm just going to call the cops. Yeah, I might just call it Cubs. Let Larry next door know that you might be getting robbed soon. Yeah.

Yeah, but maybe his disguises were so good. Oh. People started to think his feet really were that big. And large wigs. You have to remember, large wigs. Yeah, the bigger the better. Yeah. It's sort of a double bluff.

It gets to a point, like, terminal velocity and sort of wig size. Like, you get so big, it's so ridiculous. You think, well, no one wear a wig that ridiculous. That's got to be his real hair. It would be rude to say something. Yeah. I'll just leave him alone. Leave him alone.

This sounds like, Either he was inspired by it or vice versa, the sideshow Bob. Totally thought of that. Being framed by framing crusty. Big shoes. Crazy wig. Really big shoes. Really big shoes.

Really big shoes. I thought of that as soon as I was running this. And he was seen as a gentleman robber being known to bring flowers with him to give to the female workers he stole from. Oh, the men don't get flowers? But they're not getting shit That's bullshit Yeah Men like flowers

What's your favourite flower? I like flowers. What's your favourite flower? Oh, wow That's a lot of high I don't know why But it just reminds me I'm reckon like a nice neighbour or something Yeah

In my childhood must have had them or something Because whenever I see him walking around In someone's front yard I'm like You pick them You take that whole bush Yeah I dig the bush out

Yeah And you say, thank you so much. I'm running out of places to put them. I know. Your front yard is getting ridiculous. It's hard to park. But beautiful. Beautiful.

Your favorite flower, Jess? I like many flowers. I like tulips. Oh, yeah. Chulips are lovely. Yeah, tulips are fun. Love sunflowers. Do you remember?

Chrysanthemums. They're beautiful. Happy Mother's Day. Yeah. Mums, they're fun. The tulips remind me of Easter as a kid as well. Oh, yeah. Do you remember the red tulip

ads. I think that they had it like there was an Easter egg hunt on this ad. Right. The chocolate brand. And there was a little chocolate egg inside a chool. Oh, that's cute. Yep. Everything comes back to an ad for you. I love it so much. An ad and nostalgia. Yeah. That's me. So? Dave never said, did he? Oh, Lily's for me. Lillies. Great choice. Great choice. So he had a gun, but it was never violent. So that's another reason he was seen as a gentleman robber. The whiskey robber got addicted to his new lifestyle

Completely funded by his robbery exploits He loved to drink, like I said Gamble and Travel Blowing the thousands that he stole on those three things He took his friends on exotic trips to Indonesia Madagascar, the Canary Islands So he's travelling all over I mean

Fuck yeah Yeah, that's awesome You may as well enjoy it I guess Yeah He told Caput magazine I was a gambling addict And I blew a lot of money And I love exotic places

I've been to almost 80s countries. Wow. And I thought it was a logical to build a house or something because things like that could be taken away from me, so I squandered it and lived. Yeah, fuck yeah! Oh yeah, okay, now I'm rooting for this guy, but he has done multiple robberies, and that is a crime. He's a good time, not a long time kind of guy.

Yeah, that's a good way to live. Is robbing a good way to live? No, but I think spending all your money is and I would advise people to do it. By joining patreon.com slash do you come on. The ultimate pleasure for you. For now. And then I get their money.

And then I spent the money. On other people's Patreon. Yes. It's a good system. It's a great, beautiful system. Love the arts. Yep. I'm a patron of the arts.

I get it now. Patreon. I might have a little time out for a bit. What is the E bit from, though? No idea. Dave for no. E for Internet. Oh, internet.

Internet. Yeah. Ethernet. Yes, thank you. Ethernet cable. Patreon, Ethernet cable. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Great, system works. Ah, yep, yep, beep, beep. When his hockey teammates asked where his new car came from, considering his miserly janitor's celery, he came out with various reasons. He said that he was a gigolo on the side. Okay. Or that rich female partners were supporting him.

He was a sugar baby. Yeah, that's he was saying that, or that he was still smuggling animal pelts as he had been previously. Oh, okay. So, yeah, okay. One of his excuses was a crime. That is so funny. No, no, no, yeah.

If you think there's any suss. No, I'm just getting this. These are proceeds from crime. Yeah, that's all. Anyway, let's get to practice. Okay. Come on, boys. And he's riding Zambonis down the streets now.

Yeah. Man. Yeah, it is funny to be like, a jigolo. Oh, yeah, Sugar Mama. Crime. Anyway. Yeah, I'm a hit man. Let's get to it.

paid a million dollars per job if you're looking for a hitman. Yeah. I never do anything illegal though. No. There's a trail of dead bodies behind me, but... I'd never rob the bank if that's what you're asking. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy.

And make sure you remember that I've said I would never do that. And I never have done that. And I never will. Also, I'm going to need an alibi for the last three months. Somehow, he continues to play hockey the whole time. And as time went by, the club began to rely more and more on their part-time, third choice goalie. Remember when he joined?

He was kind of honorary, like me as the 13th man. Never going to get cold up. But he was dedicated and never missed a training session, sometimes going straight from his robbery to the ice rink to train. Okay. After one such robbery committed before game night, like on game night, he wore his goalie's mask the whole time on the bench because police had published a composite image of their suspect

and he was worried that he might get recognised. You know, with a few thousand people in the stadium watching, he's just sort of got the mask on in case people go, hang on, you look a bit like that guy. What would the odds be? Yeah, that is always a crazy thought to me because I've seen police drawings and then forgotten them immediately. You know what I mean? I'm never going to be like, hey, that guy in the front row of all these thousands of people,

he looks just like a police composite drawing. Yeah, to me at the point where, like, it could be on the TV and you could be standing next to it. Like, often in movies, sort of like in a TV shop or something. Yeah, it's like 50 of the original. All right, I'm alert now. Yeah, well, it's my responsibility to look for this person now. Yeah, I think unless it was like, Like, they've got a Zed tattoo on their cheek or something.

You know, like, otherwise, like, nearly always, it's some white guy with brown hair. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Unless they've got a picture of, like, some CCTV, and it's a very clear photo, and it's somebody you know well. And then you go, that's Darren. Yeah.

You know? But otherwise, your face is immediately gone in my brain. I could walk past, like, someone so distinct looking, like Christopher Walken on the street, and I'd be like, I seem to recognise that guy from somewhere Anyway, I wouldn't think about it And then later I'd be like

Was that Christopher War? Yeah, but then you'd doubt yourself Because it was so long ago You'd like, nah, surely not And he'd say, Hey, Davey He didn't recognize me out on the street Honestly, A Davey was really good

And then you kind of lost it a bit there I'd like that. I thought it got better Really? From the top. A Davey didn't recognize him Personally, I'd never had it And it was meant to be bad

But what do you mean? No, I mean, I'll try really out. I meant to be bad. I'll try really hard. I'm sorry. No, you're right. Sorry. Would a help if I addressed you as Christopher?

Okay, yeah. So I'm on the street and looking around and I go. Line. Jess, what's my line? Hey, Dave. Yeah. You didn't recognize me on the street. Okay.

Oh, all right, maybe, um, this doesn't make sense if I do recognize you. All right, I've sent you an email saying, was that you? And then you've called me. Okay, so the email's coming. Big! Hello, Christopher. This is very strange. This is Dave Warnikey from Melbourne, Australia,

but did I just see you in the food court at Melbourne Central? Regards, Dave Warnocky. Great. Hey, Davey boy. Loving it. Why didn't you say hello to me on the street? Dave. Come on.

Something about a solid gold watch? I got a solid gold watch. Okay, Dave, come on. Shimon. And there, he's lost it. He has lost. He's gone into MJ, but it was perfect until then. Beautiful.

No notes. Which bit was wrong? Shamal. Oh, that's not him? No. Didn't he used to say that when he was a hip-pop star in the 80s? No, no, no. Okay.

But otherwise, perfect, no notes. Beautiful to watch you transform. Always. I wanted to watch him work. That was beautiful. We're very lucky you and I, Dave. Oh my God. To be in the presence of a master.

Yeah, to watch him work like that on a regular basis is such a treat. So back to the hockey rink. So back to the hockey rink. Frike. Now I'm like, yeah, no, I think you're right. That is spot on. Yeah. I hear it now.

I hear it now. I hear it myself now, yes. Yeah, that is exactly how he talks. So as time went by. he got called off the bench more and more. And not because his talent had greatly improved, but because the club was struggling. Oh.

They'd won a series of league championships throughout the 80s, but by the mid-90s, they were well past their prime. The club had money problems and couldn't afford an A-grade goalie, and Attila became the starting goalie for a series of games. Had the club considered bank robbery? Well, had he considered just... Or does he want to play? Oh yeah, he loves it

Yeah, right So there's no real reason for him to kick money Oh, to lend the money Because he would cost his job Yeah, oh, that would be a That'd be tricky because he loves it so much So obviously he wants to support the team But he also wants to play

Yeah And he's pretty bad Here's a million dollars It's for everyone but a goalie That's right I'm goalie Get ten Wayne Gretzky's around him Yeah

He being me Can we clone Wayne Gretzky? So he's a starting goalie for a few games. Great. Did he rise to the occasion? Absolutely not. All you've got to do is be in the way of a puck. I could be in the way.

Yeah. You often are. According to my favourite Polish magazine, Prejkoy, I've forgotten that I was that. Sorry. They write, fans of the Budapest team, remember this period. as the worst in the club's history.

Wow. In one game, Ambrose managed to give up 29 goals. Another time, he led in 88 over six matches. Yeah, that's a lot. 29 feels like a lot. That's a lot. I've seen games that I think they're often like, you know, two to one.

Yeah. Sort of soccer, slightly higher than soccer scores. That's what I'm thinking, yeah. So 29 is a lot. But that also means that his teammates aren't doing a great job either. It's almost like he's the only play. on the ice for his team. Did I not say that?

They could only afford one player and it was him. Because he's free. But I think opposition's always going to get shots. And if every shot's just going in, like a normal goal he would, like they're not going to, the whole team can't stop the others from having a shot 29 times in a game. They could play defensively better. Yeah. Yeah, they could just line up like a wall.

Yeah, just be a wall. You are. You're on the side of Attila of the Honey and I like that. I'm always on a chill of the honey's team. Exactly, it's your little of honey. Can't do you wrong. No. So he's not going well or so well on the ice.

But often he was rising to folk hero status. The media and public follow the whiskey robbers exploits, and many championed him as a modern day Robin Hood with many making favorable comparisons to Hungary's most famous outlaw, Sanderosa, whose robberies had been romanticized since the 1840s. It's like someone saying the modern day. Ned Kelly or something here being compared to or Robin Hood, despite the fact he's not giving, he is robbing from the rich,

he's not giving it to the bore, he's just like taking it to the casino, giving it back to the rich. Back to the rich. But also he's giving it to, you know, resorts around the world. Yeah, and they need that. We don't know. The Madagascar hotels are very, very happy to take his money. Yeah.

And a lot of the public saw the whiskey robber as the good guy robbing the establishment, bucking authority and giving the middle finger to the man. They saw him as stealing from the very banks that preyed on the poor. You know, those people are saying they get richer, we get poorer, he's just taking a bit back. He was the little guy going up against law enforcement, and he appealed to the Hungarian psyche towards the state. Most are all state officers and those in power. Sociologist Professor Georgi Spelli told the independent, when politicians are seen as licensed criminals, and the police are widely viewed as corrupt and incompetent.

Everyone would cheer on a bank robber. So that's sort of the political and social climate at the time. People are like, hell yeah. Right. How interesting. This would be the best time for you, Jess, as someone who knows to be one and done in this game, to go put on some big shoes and a big wig. Rob a bank.

They'll just assume it was another one of his. You wouldn't even be nervous. Oh, I'd love that. And at the side of the robbery to make sure they know it's you, you just drop like a little, oh, sorry, I just dropped a small. bottle of whiskey there. Yeah. I was drinking that at the bar around the corner before.

I am the whiskey robber. Easy. Bye. Bye. And then I've got, you know, a million bucks. Exactly. I imagine I got a million dollars. Yeah, you were much more successful than him or do one.

All you need to do is make sure you're living a busy social life as well so that for all the other robberies that he's done, you've got alibis ready to go. Because it won't cut it if you're like, oh, I was watching TV by myself. Yeah, which I am doing most nights. So I, but I think this could really work for you. Yeah, okay, great. So we just, now, I think we just need to wait for the next time Australia has a costume cereal bank robber.

Hopefully they're around, 5-7. I think we're due for a 5-7 costume bank robber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, awesome. Yeah, this would be great. We'll need to edit this out, I think. Oh, yeah, AJ, can you just chop that bit out? Yeah, chop all that out because that will be incriminating in the near future.

Yeah, and certainly don't keep it on file looking to collect any rewards down the track, AJ. That's not like AJ. be really, that would be a breach of the editor's code. Yes. Yeah. You'll be jailed. And we hold you to that editor's code, AJ. Do we have extradition rights from New Zealand?

I think we'll have to go to him and kill him. Okay. And hey, we've always wanted to go to New Zealand. Beautiful little holiday at the same time. How lovely would that be? I'd love to. We could do a few live shows while we're there. Oh, gorgeous.

We go. We do a hit. We do a hit show. Oh, my gosh. It would be a shame because I was thinking our first New Zealand show would have him on as a guest, but he'll obviously be dead. Oh, we could kill him after. Yeah, we did a few nights. The ultimate alibi.

Oh, fantastic. And at least that way we know where he is. Yeah. You know, because we invite him to come to the show and then we kill him. Well, that looks us, actually, inviting someone to the location where he that killed. Wow. Or, AJ, also added all this air. Editor his code.

So, stories of his robberies became so popular that at one point, Hungarian crime TV shows reportedly publicly asked the robber to commit his robberies on Mondays or Tuesdays so that journalists could be ready for their Thursday broadcasts.

They've got 60 minutes or whatever is on Thursday oh man, if you do it on Monday Tuesday that really gives our producers a bit more edit and lead in time so if you could do that that would really help us out. Well, it's always

Thursday coming, guys. Do it next Thursday. Yeah, but it's old news by then. The newspapers have already covered it by then And that's psychotic. You know, you're really putting me in a tight spot here. I'm being Attila now. You're putting me in a tight spot here because that means that the cops also will know

I'm going to be doing it on one of these two days. It's two days, though. You're going to, the banks are in the open five days anyways. There's no skin off your back, really, is it Atila? Well, it's less than half the opportunities. I like to have, you know, I like to have options. Well, if you hate producers, I guess, do what you will. Dave, you've worked.

I've directed a news show as a producer for a long time. Yes, as I was a producer, I used to reach out to politicians and say, look, if you're going to fall over so we can make fun of you, you could do that before 2pm

when we have our meeting, that would really help me out. Otherwise, I've got a button up on the radio and say, hey, we've got a late one of the Prime Minister falling over. Do you reckon that's funny? Yeah. Falling on a kid playing rugby.

Get off. We'd go out to meltdown when that kind of thing happened. It was amazing. It's good stuff. So it's tough, but it's, you don't, you don't generally need two to three days notice.

Usually the news is done on the day, and I've seen news reporters doing voiceovers with minutes to spare before their package was shown on the news. Yeah, but that, I mean, you prefer not to, though, wouldn't you? Sure, oh yeah, we prefer not to. You're saying, ideally you do Monday at Tuesday, no pressure, but ideally. Yeah, what is the news here in Budapest?

You know, Thursday, they want a crime to happen on a Monday? That's not news. No. That's old. Olds. I agree. He's going for the high-five and you're missing it. He's so close to my head.

Well done. When you have that really long pause, it really has the same feel. So he's big in the news. People are loving reading about him watching him on TV or his crimes. Obviously, he's still a mysterious figure at life. He's an enigma. But he really made a fool of police or at least showed their incompetencies for what they were. sometimes he would rob the same location four separate times,

and still the authorities seemed to have no way to stop him. And like I said before, robberies of this kind were completely foreign to police in this part of the world in this time of history, to the point that they apparently didn't even have the knowledge to collect fingerprints at the crime scene. Wow. They didn't know how to do that.

They just didn't do that previously. Which... Shikita. It seems unbelievable to me, but like, you know, I read that in a couple of places. He was the thorn of embarrassment in their sides, so a crime task force was set up just to take down the whiskey robber.

It was led by Laios Vajou, an officer who later admitted he learned a lot of his detective work from watching the TV show, Colombo. Oh. Incredible. Sorry, just one last question. One more thing.

Oh, one more thing. I've never seen it either. I don't know what people say. I don't ever know what it sounds like. One more thing. Just one more question. I've just got one more question. I've just got this thought

that's just coming to my head. If you get this, sorry. I'm sure it's nothing. Yeah, but what do you do on Wednesday? Yeah. And you said, you said you're not a smoker. Is that right? One more thing.

But I just can't have noticed a little bit of ash on the floor here. I'm wondering what could that be about. Obviously, you just all day my curiosity. Okay? Is that okay? Just one one thing. I only know I'm from being the grandpa on the Princess bride. Is it Peter Fork?

Peter Fork? Peter Spoon. No, yeah, Peter Folt. I think, maybe. Peter Falk. I was pronounced that as Falk. I was wrong. There you go.

What? Please don't go off me. Are you going off? Did you see his Christopher Walker? He can't say most words. Peter Falk, twice nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. Good for you. You were just instantly convinced because of what I said.

Why? But it makes sense looking at, that's FALK. Falk. One more thing. Yeah, I watched a lot of Columba. Yeah, right. Sorry, Dave, just one more thing. The structure of that show was you'd see the crime be committed and no,

and then you'd watch him slowly unravel it, and that would be sort of the entertaining part of he'd put things together. Yeah, I'm a bigger fan of the who-dunnet than the how-done-it or whatever. Just the frustrating of someone not working out. Come on! He clearly did it. It was insurance. Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck. We all saw it. There was a camera crew there. So anyway, so the head of the task force, Laos, he's watched a lot of Colombo. Sure. So he knows how to solve crimes. At one point, the police was so desperate to catch Attila that they consulted a woman and her crystal ball.

They were so desperate. They consulted a woman. I mean, come on. Don't tell anyone we're asking you this, because this is so embarrassing. But we are desperate. We've tried a bunch of men with crystal balls, and they gave us nothing. So now we're at our wits end. No, she had a crystal ball to try and pinpoint where the robber would strike next.

You'll be so surprised to know, this method failed. What? Didn't work. Well, maybe she was just on the team of the robber. She's pro-whisky robber. She's leading the cops astray. I just hope that they don't ask a woman again. Oh, I hope they've bloody learned.

Yeah, come on. What a waste of time. I wouldn't be asking a woman. Ah, one more woman. At one point, the robber got lucky when the police raided the building next door to the one he was robbing, which is, they're so close. And then he escaped. He recalled another time that as he was attempting to escape, he got tangled in a rose bush. Yellow.

Yellow. It was beautiful. Beautiful. He was robbing my house. During which he fell. fell over and passed out. He regained consciousness hours later. The police had left without noticing him,

and he was free to return home with the loot. Absolutely ridiculous scenes. What do you mean? So he got tangled in a bush, fell over at the bottom underneath, hidden well enough that they didn't notice it. He was right there. Yeah.

And they're looking around going, oh, bloody hell, he's done it again. Where could he be? He's passed out in a bush. He's disappeared into thin bush. That bush is snoring. Which is weird, but we don't have time for that. I shall not investigate.

It's making it hard to concentrate. Shut up, Bush. Shut up. That's what they should have a dog on the scene. A dog could find a man in a bush. Like any dog, it doesn't have to be trained. I think my dog could find a dog. Yeah, a man in the bush.

But a male dog. A male dog. I'm not asking a female dog. What's a man in the bush worth again? Six in a half. It's worth a man in the bush. As well as pumping the rob up as a hip. hero to the people. The media went hard on the police for their ineptitude and inability to

capture him. So the media started taunting them being like, you guys really suck, don't you? The most embarrassing incident for the police was the whiskey robber's 13th robbery in 1996. According to the independent, he had his usual whiskey and then walked to a nearby bank. Yes, he had his disguise on as usual, but this disguise was as Laos Vajou, the head of the task force assigned to take him down. He wore an iconic or very striking pinstripe suit, a hat and a distinct mustache. He's taking the piss. He really took the piss.

Dressing up as the very guy who is struggling to capture it. But like really accurately, so people are confusing him for or like a clownish version of it? We know when you're doing it. Like a parallel, like someone dressing up as Freddie Mercury at a party. You're like, very good. I recognize who you are. You're not going to like fool people. Is it a dress up party?

No It's just like Somebody's dressed as Freddie Mercury in a wedding And you're going Very good Okay

I'd say what you've done Yeah you got me And it's actually It's just a guy With the mustache You're like Okay I get it

Yeah Freddie Mercury Any guy on the mustache I love your music You had the voice Of an angel Oh gosh Madup Such charisma

La la da da Adom One of the best There is Jess you did a report On them What What?

This is from Adam Leibor, writing for the Independent in the year 2001. As the robbery progressed, this is as he's dressed as the head of the task force, one of the bank's workers phoned the police. The officer who took the call asked, Are you sure you're having a robbery? Well, eventually they'd establish, yes, it's a fucking robbery. So there's a string of robberies happening. They've got a whole task force going to try and stop these robberies.

And then somebody calls in a robbery. And firstly, they put them on hold for a bit because the kettle are just boiled. And so they came back. Your call is important to us. You are second in queue. Okay. Anyway, and so finally get to you. Yes, what?

Hi, sorry to bother you. I work at the bank and we're being robbed right now. Are you sure? Are you sure? You sound like a woman. Are you sure? It probably was a lady and they just didn't. Oh, honey, are you sure?

It sounds like a bit of an overreaction, dull. Okay, hon. Okay. So, let's not bother the police, okay? They have actual work to do, all right? Okay. A few minutes later, Vajou, head of the crime force, and his men headed to the crime scene, and two police cars crashed on the way.

The television station... Into each other? I don't know if it was separate incidents, or... Which would be so funny if it was. The television station... TV2 was already on air with a live report when Vaju finally arrived. So the media had managed to get that first. Before the cops.

Yeah, she also called from the bank to the media and they said, okay, great, we're on our way. Thank you for calling us. Oh, toots, come on. Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

Yeah. I'm sure if there was a robbery going on, someone would have called. Yeah. I'm calling right now. Are you sure it's not just your time of the month? You can be honest It's making you a bit sensitive, isn't it? Is it just a customer asking for their money?

Because that's what a bank does. Do you want to go back and just check? Is this your first day? That's okay if it is. But I will arrest you. No, they didn't steal that piece of paper. That's called a receipt. They're allowed to take that with them.

They should take that with them. So TV2 gets their first. They're live on air with a report when Vajou and his men finally arrived. The whiskey robber was already long gone. In a bush. Sleepy. TV2's reporter turns to the camera and says, and last, but not least, here comes the police.

Like, so embarrassing. Yeah, more and more, I'm on the side of the robber now. It's so bad. It's so funny. They didn't believe it. Two cars crashed, and then by the time they get there, they're just getting sassed by, Well, well, well.

Oh, look who's arrived. To be, to wear such an ostentatious sort of suit and everything, to be like, I'm the man, I'm the guy. And to be so incompetent as well. It's very funny. Oh, so great. I really want to stand out. I want everyone to know, I'm the one who can't solve this.

What, I, yeah, I think now's the time to quit, man. Yeah. It's like, we're playing Beat the Bomb here. You know, that old radio games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One million dollars. Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick. Stop, stop.

Yeah. Stop. Come on. Come on, Attila. And then I was like, well, just play the game to see how much you would have won. 58 million dollars. And they go, no, over. You just got one point two.

I know, but you'll feel like an idiot because you could have won 58 million. You would feel like a fool. God, that beat the bomb would have gone on for ages. Three hours later. Please say stop. Hurry, come on. The show's over. Stop it.

The next show is outside the studio very mad at us. They're banging on the door. So he didn't quit while his head sadly. He kept robbing and he kept drinking. He progressed from one or two whiskeys before a job to settle his nerves to sometimes taking down a whole bottle. He was getting cocky and falling into his partying, drinking lifestyle. And he decided to enlist the help of a partner so he could attempt even bigger robberies.

He recruited Gabor Auburn, a young ice hockey player and teammate of his and also the son of the coach. Okay. This feels like probably a mistake. I'm just going to say that now. The young and impressionable Orban was keen to enlist when he was basically like, hey, I've been watching you. I think I can tell you my secret.

You know how I've got all that money? I'm the whiskey robber. And the young kids like, hell yeah. Cool. I want to be the Smernoff double black robber. Yes. Already branded. But a deal in the works.

I'm sponsored by Smyrano. It would be amazing. So all up, they did another 12 jobs together. The 12th was a bank in January 1998. And it took a lot longer than expected. So he's been robbing for like a few years and the police haven't caught up with him yet. And he's done well over 25 robberies. Haven't got up with him.

And this time, it took a lot longer than expected to get the money together. So for once the cops were actually able to arrive in time. Right. Even factoring in multiple car crashes. Stopping for lunch. Getting lost. They had to just drop in because it was grandma's birthday. So I had to drop in, sing happy birthday, have a slice of cakes.

We don't know how many more she's going to have. How do I make it? Following the GPS, ending up in a paddock. Is it how we end up here? Oh, come on. No, the bank's somewhere around here, I swear, I swear. The robbers fled on foot and a chase ensued in which Orban, Oh, no.

Orban, that is. Liability. Was caught. Yeah. But the whiskey robber, Attila dramatically dived into the Danube River and got away. No way. How cool is that? I don't know, because I'm imagining it a bit like the Yarra and that's gross.

Oh, actually, yeah. And this is a cold climate at times of the year too. It's probably not great. With a sack of cash? January 1990, that would be cold. Yeah. But he's used to working in, like, he does his job in an ice room. True, true.

This is nothing. Is he with cash? I don't think he has much cash with him from this robbery, but he's still. still got some stashed. So he got away, but sadly, all good things must come to an end. By which I mean his terrible hockey career, because that night, Ambrus's ice hockey team were due to play, but two of their players, for some reason, didn't show up. Oh, no.

And everyone heard that Gabor Orban had been arrested in conjunction with the robbery, and now his teammate Attila was missing. The crowd put two and two together and realized their goalie, Atila Ambrose, must be the famed whiskey robber and apparently they kept chanding his name throughout the match. They were proud of their guy. Oh my God. Meanwhile, Attila, emerging from the Danube, headed for his house where he grabbed stash of cash and his beloved dog took his dog with him, jumped into his car.

Well, yeah, Dave, he's not going to leave the dog behind. It can't feed itself. No, it's a really smart dog. Oh, okay, yeah, great. Oh, then that's quite nice when he took the dog. He needed directions. So they jumped into the car, headed for the Romanian border. And once they get across, they thought they could escape, you know,

into somewhere else in Europe and live on the lamb. Sadly for him, this time the police were onto him, and he was arrested before he could make it to the border. Damn. There was another media storm. Their hero had finally been caught. The Hungarian Daily Magha Herlap editorialized after the arrest, saying he didn't rob banks, he merely performed a peculiar redistribution of the wealth that differed

from the elites only in its method. So people are still very much on his side. Facing a hefty sentence for his 27 robberies, he cooperated and agreed to a confession as long as an attempted murder charge brought against him was dropped because he was accused of firing his gun at police, but he maintains he just shot it into the air. There were police in the air, but he did not know that. helicopter, and when I say gun, I mean rocket launcher. It was very cool. And that is where the story would end for most robbers. But not our folk hero.

We're now in 1999 and he's in a detention centre awaiting his sentence when the guard on duty was distracted. Oh, no. Attila lowered himself at a four-story window using a makeshift rope made up of bed sheets. No way. Tails. No way. Extension cords. And ropes.

and a 58 metre rope. He actually had plenty of rope, but... I don't want to race good rope. No, the last thing was shoelaces. He's trying to get every little bit extra because the rope wasn't quite long enough, so he had to jump the last couple of metres spraining both his ankles in the process.

But he was once again free. Apparently no one had ever escaped from that prison before. Wow. No one had tried. No one thought of it. Yeah. Yeah, back under the old... government, you wouldn't do that.

And this brought the whiskey robber to full cult status in Hungary. The media could not get enough. A national daily newspaper declared him, our national hero, the bank robber. Isn't that? It's so funny. Imagine, like, I can't picture Australia doing that. No. We're too rule-followy.

Yeah, we are. We do love rules here. When, at a press conference, after he escaped, someone in the media said, How do you feel about the fact that, you know, of the 10 million people in Hungary right now, most of them are cheering for the other guy. And the guys like, the Laios, the head of police was like, this is a real sound state of affairs to show what the country is going through when they're cheering on him. But they just thought he was, you know, the little guy up against the big guys.

They loved him. And the police, they're upset that they were once again being a made of mockery of. And Budapest was shut down. Hundreds of cops were deployed. Helicopters hit this guy. hopefully no rocket launches. As the manhunt began, meanwhile, Attila quietly hid out in an apartment

being looked after by trusted friends. He needed money, and after a few weeks, decided to go for one last job. Always. It was his 28th robbery by this point, and it went horribly. Apparently, instead of a glass of whiskey, he had more than a whole bottle,

and sources differ on this, but Prairie Coy writes, Ambrus was so drunk that the bank employees laughed at what he said. Upset, he took only the money from one till, which was 230,000 forence or less than a thousand US dollars, and he escaped by a true miracle. Whilst the independent rights, he entered the bank and yelled, you know who I am, I have nothing to lose. Okay, but say that again like you've had a bottle of whiskey. Yeah, I am. I have nothing to lose.

Chad! And they laughed at that. Well, he scooped up millions of forrants in his drunken excitement. This is where it went wrong. They write, he lost the key to the bank's doors that he'd just locked. They laughed. He shot in the air, fled into an alley before hiding out for hours under a parked car and fleeing to his hideout. Again, the cops are not looking on the ground.

The cops aren't looking, I don't think. Either way, it was a... That car is snoring. Attila, Attila, if you don't come out, you've got to come out. We've asked you, that's the rule. That's the rule. If you don't... Damn.

Why is that car snoring? Sorry, there's a fellow under this guy. Mate, you've got to get your car checked out. Yeah. Something's not right there. Mate, are you under their fixing you right now? Yeah. Do you need a hand?

This is a real problem. So there's a couple of stories there, but either way, it was a failure, and she had to go in for one last, one last shot. Yeah, but then that would be his 29th. And then at that point you may as well go for a 30. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, is he going to have learnt from his... Is this mistake there, Jess, do you reckon?

Drinking a bottle? Is he going to, what less is he going to take out? Is he going to be like, need to drink less? Or is he going to be like, need to drink more? More. Didn't quite have enough. Oh, not exactly, yes. I think more.

Yep. That would be what my instinct. Yeah. Yep. Two bottles. Two bottles of Smernoff double black. Thank you to the good people at Smirnoff. Yep, that's too many standard drinks.

Yeah. That would kill a person. Oh, man. We're up to Robbery 29, as you said, and this was a much more successful robbery, netting him much more. and ever before 51 million foreigns, around $200,000 US dollars. But he did leave a piece of crucial evidence at the scene of the crime. Business card.

Don't they know it's him now? Passport. Almost. He left a telephone card that he used to call the number of his hideout. Oh. Police tracked it down and arrested him with 400 officers taking part of the arrest. That's so many. They were not taking chances.

That is overkill. You look at it, you went and you'd be like, is there like... A party happening? Yeah, a party. A demonstration going on downstairs? 400. 400. So then every other criminal in the city is just having a field day because there are no cops.

That's me. That's when I strike. Yeah. You're no longer covered by people thinking you're him though, but still, this is your second job. Yeah. And definitely the last one. That's right. Yeah.

You could quit whenever you wanted. And I will. Yeah. After one last job. Number 30. His trial went for 10 months and again was a huge. media spectacle this time around the world as people heard of the part-time golly slash janitor who became the most famous bank robber in modern Hungary's history.

I think it's strange that the whiskey robber name stuck once they knew he was a part-time goalie? Don't you think part-time goalie robber? Okay. Whiskey robber is better. Part-time goalie slash janitor robber. Zamboni rubber. Zamboni thief.

Oh, that's good. That sounds like he steals zambonies. I think when he said whiskey rubber at the start I was like, he's stealing whiskey? Yeah, doesn't he? No. He's just drinking it. He was sentenced to 15 years in prison at a notorious place on the border with

Slovakia and Ukraine. He later described it as, quote, The End of the Earth where even the birds don't fly. Hmm. Because he's shooting. At first, whiskey was smuggled into him by his girlfriend, hidden in a plastic bag hidden inside a bottle of fabric softener. But it was discovered and from then,

no other contraband could be smuggled to him. him so we had to go sober. He was eventually released after 11 years for good behaviour, spending his time on fitness and education, eventually earning a Master of Fine Arts degree. And ripped. Oh, he was ripped. He's ripped and he's got a masters. So now he's an art curator and stuntman. Well, these days, he runs a pottery workshop in central Budapest, another skill he picked up in prison. He also has a workshop on a farm and he makes income from both farming. That And also he's got a third job. He's a third job.

He gives motivational talks. Oh, yeah. How, who is he motivating? I think because he was so popular, right? Yeah, and he went from a life of crime. Yeah, and also from, I went from a life of crime. Now I'm like, you know, I was, I hit rock bottom. I had no money.

Yeah. Now I've come out and I've made an honest life for myself. Yeah. You can talk in the schools being like, I'll tell them how I can, you know, I made a life after crime, but everyone's like, Tells about the crime. Tells about the crime. We don't care about the pottery.

And he's also like, yeah, that's real. I just have to sell it to the schools saying that's a lesson. But anyway, here's what I did. Yeah, yeah. And this one was really sick, actually. He still leads a pretty public life. Caput magazine interviewed him in 2022. And I'll link to that article as well.

And the author's Jessica Kriger and Roland Van Oistern caught up with the then 55 year old for what seemed like more than a few drinks. They kept referring to how many. He was like, come on, finish your beer. We've got to get another one. So he still loves a tipple. He's now married and has children saying, being a father has changed me incredibly, because now the centre of my life is not myself, but the children.

A book was written about him in 2002 by American writer Julian Rubenstein. It's called The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber. In the Caput interview, Ambrose says he feels ripped off by only getting $1,000 and claims that the author Rubenstein made a lot more money from your story. Johnny Depp later secured the film rights, but so far it's not been made. I tried to track down a copy for this. report because it's got some good reviews online, but I couldn't find it in any bookshop.

There's no e-book or not on the Australian audible. Could get it in America, but not sadly here. So it might be worth checking out if you want to hear more about this story. In 2017, a Hungarian film that translates to the whiskey robber was released and was a huge hit. Johnny Depp was in it? No, no JD. Apparently, I think it was the second most successful Hungarian movie ever. So he's still very famous in his homeland.

After the Mighty Ducks. Is that them? Yeah. They love ice hockey over there. They love ice hockey. He actually makes a cameo in the film as a taxi driver as he often used taxis to escape. It's a little nod to himself there. My final quote from, and I'm going to look it up to say it correctly.

Imagine using taxis to escape. Taxi. You'd be sweating on it. Like, I really need to get going. Mate, can you put your foot down? Wouldn't you like you'd be, you're trusting a different driver every time? as well to not tell them where they dropped you off. Well, better than an Uber, I guess, because that will track you.

True. My final quote from Peshkroy, that was an excellent article that really helped me write this report, and I will, of course, link to it and other sources if you want to read more. This one was originally published in Polish, because it's a Polish magazine, but translated by Nathaniel Espino. And when asked if his criminal career was worth it, Attila said, in fact, prison was my salvation. I was rolling downhill through alcohol, money, adrenaline and numbness.

What I did was bad and selfish. I committed many crimes and made mistakes. I can't change that now. I've done my time. I have no intention of returning to the past. Now I want to do everything I can to to return to society and just concentrate on living. And then in another interview with Kaput, they said, would you ever come out of retirement?

And he said, only for several million dollars. The process is right. He was joking. He was like, Oh, only it was a lot. He's like, no, no, no, I wouldn't really. So there you go. That's the story of the whiskey robber.

He said, do you remain sober? Oh, no, no, no. Like I said, oh, yes. Yeah, two years ago, he was like. Right. I think there was beer, there was whiskey, there were multiple drinks that they were referring to. Right. So, yeah, no, he's, he got sober in prison for a while, got his life back on track and was ready to get into it again.

Yeah, once he had access to it again, he's like, let's catch up. But, yeah, he seems like he's enjoying his life. What a character. And he's, you know, no longer. committing crime, but he's still a... I really enjoyed that story. And yeah, I love a gentleman robber. Yeah.

Yeah. And, yeah, obviously, it wouldn't be nice working in a bank or a post office or whatever that's getting robbed. So it's not entirely victimless like we always sort of say, but nobody was hurt. It's so funny that the whole country basically is like cheering him on, that he just becomes this folklore hero. That's what's so fascinating about it. And then...

I'm picturing the bank attendants. being like, oh my God, it's him. He chose our bank. Yes, whatever you like. Of course. Here you go. Is this okay? Can I have an autograph?

And like, people are diving and being like, can I have the flowers? Can I have the flowers? But there you go. So the last three weeks, if you haven't listened to the last couple, have been, we did a hotel heist and then the Perth Mint swindle. Yeah. And so there you go. Like we said at the start of the episode, we never know what the other's going to report on.

So it just happened that way. But I think it's been a fun little little trip titch, as we always say. because my art teacher said it wrong when I was in high school. My art teacher said Yosomite instead of Yosemite. Oh, love it. And it has, it trips me up every time. Because I remember at the time being like, but it's Yosemite Sam. Yosemite.

I was so sure and I was like, well, she's an adult. She'd know. And she didn't know. She didn't. She was an idiot. She was an idiot. She was baysing it off Vegemite. Vegemighty.

Vigemite Sam. That's nice. Yeah. That's better. Have we been saying around this whole time? Probably. Dave, fantastic report. What a fun story.

Thank you. A bit of a, yeah. He served his time too, so I feel, yeah. Yes, that's right. And no one got physically hurt, so that's always good. And yeah, yeah, broke out of jail once. Yeah, yeah, he only broke out of jail once. Yeah, so anyone who got hurt was himself and he hurt his ankles.

That's right. That's right. That would have hurt. Would have been interesting to know what would have happened if he didn't drop that phone card. But I'm guessing eventually he was getting done. Yeah, I mean, they had a pretty good idea who it was. And I think, they would have found him. It felt like, like he said, like prison was actually a salvation because it sort of stopped it for him because he was just out of control.

It was like, I have to keep robbing. I've backed myself into this corner now with this lifestyle I'm leading. Really, it was like, stop me, stop me. And they did. Amazing. Great stuff. Well, that brings us everyone's favorite section of the show where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. If you want to be involved, you go to Patreon.com slash Digwon pod and you can sign up on any level.

There's a bunch of different things that you can be involved. in there. Dave will probably run you through a few of them now. Well, we give out, we put out three bonus episodes a month. We put out. Right off the bat. Absolutely. Yeah. No virgins here. Three bonus episodes per month. Three bono experts.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Giving out bonus episodes, including 200 in the back catalog already. You get instant access to those. We're not frigid, okay? Okay. So we've heard people say it. We just want to put on the record, we're not. We're very horny people. We're horny people. We're horny and we're We just keep that off part because we're professionals.

Exactly. But we fuck. We do. Oh, wow. When the mics are off. We're fucking. So are the pants. A normal amount.

Like whatever you think is normal. A healthy amount. A healthy amount. The exact amount that you think. What's our body count? Four. A reasonable amount. A reasonable amount.

Nothing prudish but nothing extraordinary. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So just right in that safe. Exactly. Upper of the average. Upper of the average, but not a concerning amount.

No. Nothing bulliable either way. Just right. We do it all night. We do it just right. If all nights are a good amount of time. Yeah, if that's what you want. I don't mind.

Sometimes you want quick and we're out of door. That's fine. We're bam, thank you, ma'am, thank you, ma'am. We're done. But if you want longer, we'll clear our schedules. Okay. That's all we're trying, that's all we needed to tell you. That's all we're trying to say.

Okay. Yes. As well as access to live. tickets before anyone else. The beautiful Facebook group, lovely little place. We give you shoutouts. You get to vote for topics.

This one was voted for by the lovely Patreon people. I put out, I had a great, great old time going through the hat, finding three or four interesting topics

from different parts of the world. And they all wanted to hear about the whiskey rubber. So that was cool. Yeah. And then we also just dedicate this whole next section of the show to thanking people

by name for their support. This could be you. This could be you. This could be you. The first thing we do is talk to the people on the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above. These people get to give us a fact of quota or a question or a brayer or a suggestion or really whatever they like. This section of the show actually has a jingle, I think, or something like this. Fact quote or question.

He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the sing. And for the first time, a bit of vibrato. A bit of a brat. Okay. A bit of harmony. First time, but not the last time. Absolutely not.

So, we. We read four of these out, usually, if there's that many. And there are this week. And first up, we'll get one from Nathan Damon. You also get to give yourself a title. Nathan's title is Group Dad. Jess, if you don't share the hockey table, the Air Hockey Table, I'm going to sell it on Marketplace. Dad!

No. But I bought it! Give Sophie a turn. You won't even get a good price, Dad. Nathan's got a question writing. I recently splashed out on some Perth. personal number plates. They are white on a black background to match my black triton, and while I was tempted to get do-go on, I instead opted for bad word.

Bad word? Bad word, literally just bad word, unless he's self-censoring. That's funny. I really hope it's not one of the real bad words. Yeah, Nathan, how bad are we talking? Nathan, my goodness. We need to scale. Because Nathan's over in W.A., right? Yeah. You can get more letters over there. You can get half a sentence basically I've seen. Yeah, we're really. We're sure we're six here, aren't we? We're six characters. I think I've seen like eight to ten.

My question is out. Jeez. Jesus. It's luxurious over there. Because we'd have to do like BADWRD. Right. Still good actually, but it's better to be able to write the whole thing. Yeah.

That's funny. Bad word. Bad word. I like it. Maybe it's just, uh, it's probably just seven. I think it's just seven, but still he's using them. Uh, and could we could we get, do go on? Yeah.

It's available in Victoria. I've looked it up. Oh, you have to. I looked it up. It was... And we were going to get a company car. Yeah, we were. First you go to get the car, then you can get the number playing. True, true, true. It was like $600 a year or something.

It's a bit much, isn't it? Maybe it's just an upfront fee, but it was at least $600. And I was like, is this worth it? No. To not go on a car that doesn't exist. No, it's not. But anyway, we haven't got to his question. Nathan writes, my question is, what color plates would you get and what would they say?

And Dave, you have no chance of getting Cobra. No, why not? Well, I think it's already taken. Well, then Perth, I can get Cobra 69. Sure, that's taken. Can you look up? Look at that, okay. We've lost Dave now.

He's gone into a rabbit hole. Nathan says, well, that's all from me except to say, Jess, play nice. No, Dad! It's my air hockey. Mine would be air hockey. Air hockey. That would be what my personalised overplay would be. A-I-H-K-Y.

Okay. And my car is white, so I could really go any color. Everything goes with white. I'd go yellow. I don't think they'd do that, but that's what I would do. Yeah, like the old school New South Wales number plates. Oh, yeah. That were the best plates.

I like them. I like the look of them. You can definitely get a yellow on a black background at the very least. Oh, okay, so like yellow text. No, I don't like that. That makes me feel like it's Batman. I don't like that. I want the yellow background and white text, so it's actually very hard to read.

and then I would just be running red lights all day. Hell yeah. That makes sense. I go like, I don't want the pink one. I'd stick with, I currently have black background white text. I'd stick with that, but it would say air hockey. Mine would say, and I've just thought of this now, P-T-S-O-U-T. P-T-S.

Uh-huh. O-U-T. Because we've got the six letters. If we had, if it was a W-A-1, I'd put a U between the P and the T. And I'd have it on hot pink. Okay. I still haven't worked out. Me either.

I mean, it's literally now spelled out. Well, I... Yeah, but I couldn't... I can't visualize it. I'm hungry. Spell it out again with seven. P-U-T-S. Put-out.

Put-out. Okay. I went to... POTUS? Are you trying to be the president of POT? I thought he was doing something stout related. I was like, all right, man. We get it.

You're like beer. It's like to be put-down. That's good stuff. And I just go around, windows down. Winking. Music blaring. I'd have a subwoofer in the back. Winking at everyone by the way, sure do.

And what color it puts out? Hot pig. It's not hot pig. That's awesome. Yeah. That's good stuff. Dave, cobra 69. I think cobra 69 is pretty good.

You're a father, Dave. Have some respect. For cobras? I'm a dad 69. You can only get I'm a dad six. What was that guy who... I'm Dad 69. That's it.

I'm Dad 69. What was that thing you... Was it you telling me about a few years ago ago I got in trouble because his whole persona was being a dad and then he turns out he wasn't or something? Yeah, he was a husband guy. Husband guy. And then he wasn't even...

Can you get a husband guy? He's a wife guy. A wife guy. A wife guy. A wife guy. A wife guy. He could be HSB and D.U. It could be HS, B, and D, G, Y.

So it would be hard for people to work out what it is. And I hate those. I hate when I'm like, you've worked so hard to make this kind of fit. And it's just not nice to look at. There was a... Puts out. Jesus Christ. A friend of a friend back on the day had...

His name was Chase, but couldn't get Chase. He got a 5 and said the yes. So all these mates called him Jafivey. Fiveie. It's Trace, all right? It's a common thing. That's it when you have to, because I'd have to have fives for S's and stuff. I remember seeing in the, in the Glen, the shopping center in Glenwayway, where I worked as a teen.

Glenn 20? Oh, my God. That trail is going cold. Oh, yeah. Have you ever got a reply from that, Dave? No. No, they just said keep us posted, but I think they actually cared. I remember seeing a car with the number plate, Jesse, but all letters.

Like, they got Jesse. Oh, wow. And I was like, holy shit. You have to pay a lot for that. Yeah. Was that? It was probably Uncle Jesse from Full House, I reckon. J-E.

Exciting stuff. Yeah. It was a big day. That's a fantastic. I was like, whoa. Thank you so much for that question. If you could get anything, it would be awesome if you could just get car. That's pretty fun.

Yeah. That would be awesome. I was behind a guy yesterday whose number plate wasn't per science, but it was bog. That's fun. Bog 3,89 or whatever. The best is when it's Vajg. And you're like, yeah, that's, That's the best.

And it's often on those, like, really fancy number plates. They always say Vaj and you're like, incredible stuff. They always say Vaj. They always. They always say Vaj. Happens a lot. The best is. You were making your number plate puts out.

Puts out. And I never, I never suggested it was the best. That's the best. The best. The best is Vagg. That's the best. We're ranking on the number one. Vag. Number one Vaputte daylight because Vaggs is the best.

Tilly T, okay, official champion of fucking things up and fixing it before anyone else notices. Okay. Tilly, that's, I mean, if you're going to be able to do it, that's fantastic. Yeah, it's a dangerous game, but if you pull it off, that would feel so sweet. That would feel sweet. Every time. Man, it would be a nerve-wracking life. Tilly's got a brag writing.

After a really bloody hard year, told you a lot. about it in my last fat quote or question. I moved towns and got a new job in my niche industry. I started as the same role I had in my workplace and wasn't expecting much, but my new boss is fantastic, as is the team working for him. Do you want to quickly recap what the last one was? Sure.

Because I don't know if people know, Jess's memory isn't that good. Yeah, just Jess. Just Jess. Yeah, Matt and I, we know exactly what's happening with utility, but just to get Jess back up to speed, Yep. Please remind Jess and Jess alone, I'll take the headphones off. Don't you hear this?

Yep. Because you also remember. Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra. Rererer, ra. Had an incident at work that led to workers' compensation and not being able to return to their workplace that they loved and trained their whole life to be in. It was really shit, very bleak times, but the pod got them through. Oh, yes, I do, I do remember that.

But new job. Fantastic news. Yes, this is such good news. A new town? After a week for working him, working for him, he sat me down, told me he'd like to give me the management role I'd been chasing in my old job and gave me a work vehicle to boot. Yes.

What are you going to get? Can we recommend some personalised clothes? Vagge. Vagge. We can combine a few ideas. We don't know how many letters you get over there, wherever you are. Puts Vagge out. Yeah.

Like it's bin night. Nailed than one. Got to put the vaj night. Got to put the vaj out. And you're... Jess has given me one of the... Sorry, I just didn't like that. Is it...

Oh, no, I just was just letting the audience know. Yeah. The Jess... Doesn't give me that look as much as you'd think. But she... She gave me that look that I get every probably six months that says, no. No.

Matthew. That's a no for me. No. Isn't someone's job at the driving place that Vic Rhodes we've got here on? EMVA, that's called in America, where you submit your idea for, I want this, they have like a room where they spitball and say, let's say it out loud a few times, see if it's rude or whatever, and they go, puts Vaj out, puts VATs, what do you think that means? And they have to go around the room and sort of yay or nay it?

Yeah. Like a sort of focus group. If that is a job, I want it. That's so, isn't it that be so funny? You look at it and you go, actually, that's slang, that's a slang term for a new drug or something. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we can't have that. Can't have that.

Unless they're a drug dealer. Let's find out what they do for work. What are you different? It can't be false advertising. Dilly finishes by saying, so excited for the opportunity to prove myself that I can hardly fucking wait for each new day. I don't know. It might not be a huge deal to some people, but I'm stoked.

I've everything that's happened in the last 18 months. This feels like I finally hit the light at the end of the tunnel. And it's all blue scars from here, baby. That's awesome. Couldn't have made it through, though, through that dumb, dark tunnel without you idiots with me. Okay. It felt like an unnecessary insult. Well, felt apt to me.

That's great. That's what I knew you were talking to me. Congratulations, Tilly. Yeah, that's huge, Tilly. That's awesome. Really nice to recognize and acknowledge when, you know, you're having a win after, you know, a shitty time. So that's great. The next one comes from Simon Ma.

And Simon's actually messaged me saying that we've already done this question. But I thought we'll just see if there's any update on it. Okay. Yeah, he found out after he'd sent it through that we'd already answered a similar question. But his title is Uncle Simon of the pod. Everyone needs an Uncle Simon. Now let's all go out for ice cream. Don't tell your mother.

What a fun uncle. I have many uncles. Our pod family's really growing. Yeah. I have a lot of uncles and I don't have a Simon. No Simon. I don't have a Simon. Do you have an Uncle Simon?

No, Uncle Simon here. Matt, you got an Uncle Simon? No. I've got quite a few. Yeah, so it's none Simons. Simon says, hi Pod gang. Hi, Simon. Hi, Uncle Simon.

I've got a question. Well, more of a thought exercise, but fun nonetheless, if you had to choose five liquids to come out of your fingers, like a squared gun, what would they be? Yeah, that's right. All liquids come out at the temperature you want and no solids that aren't liquids naturally, i.a. liquid gold. Of course, I have, to answer my own question, as law demands it.

Yes, thank you so much, Simon. But can you have, follow up question, are you allowed to have mercury liquid at room temperature? No. Stop trying to poison it. Freddie Mercury at room temperature. Mine would be water coffee, surat, shirat, saratcha. Saracha.

Oh, yeah, because I had Hollandaise sauce last time. Chocolate, milk and piss. Simon, why? The first four understandably essential liquids in everyone's diet and piss surely to weaponise it. That's got to be the middle finger. Don't like someone, bam, piss finger gun at their trouts of front and ruin their day. Oh yeah, piss off. Dog pisses on your hydrangeas.

Give them a taste of their own medicine. Piss on the dog? The uses. are endless. Uncle Simon, you're crazy. The usage is an owner of Simon. I'm going to need a few more examples before I agree with. And both of them are pissing on things.

I go, well, I think all of them will be pissing on things. True, true, true. The variations will be what the things are. Anywho, thanks again for being a fantastic podcast and keep up the great work gang. I have, okay, if the piss finger, never thought I'd say that. If the piss finger. The man with the piss finger. If it was connected to me.

my bladder and like because like I can't piss standing up I can't just go in a bush at a music festival when the lines along if it meant that I in case there's a Hungarian bank robber in there. Yeah my guy on a piss level of bank rob. Unless he's pissed on your hydrangeers. Yeah and then I'd piss on him because that's how it goes. It's a piss for a piss. Piss for a piss. Yeah, but if it was your piss, a way to just piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that'd be a right. If you could drain. That's where I thought it was going to be going with it. But it sounds like a secondary, like he's got a secondary blood or something. Yeah, yeah, it's just ready to go and I don't like that.

So, I, uh, mine, mine remains the same. Uh, I'm having, I'm having hot coffee, cold coffee. Uh, margarita. I love that you remember this. Um, I, for now I'm forgetting. Maybe must, um, water must have been one of them. And what was the other one? I don't know.

I'll go, I'm just going off the top of my dime. I'm pretty sure this will be different, but like, uh, perfectly, tea perfectly to me, El Gray or whatever. It may as well be pissed to me. It's kidding. You've got your own fingers. You hate Bergamont, don't you?

Oh my God. How about you say that? Discussing. I love Russian caravan. That is awful stuff. Maybe I'd have... Never had it, but it's a fascinating name, don't me? That's a non-tee drinker.

I like Russian caravan, a fantastic name. I just like Roy boss. I think that one's gross. But I do like the idea of having beef against... Oh, old Russian caravan over here. Yeah, you would, wouldn't you? Oh my God, you would steep for more than two minutes, you sicker. Then what else we got?

Water, um, uh, beer. Yep. Like a, I don't know which one though, but like a, like a, like a pale hour. It has to be one kind of beer. Yeah, yeah, so think about something that you'd happily drink, you know, like all the time. Yeah, yeah. I'd go, yeah, like a... You're stuck on a deserted island.

You've got this beer. What is it? Pale. I'll go like a, maybe a kite, if I could get deeds before they, yeah, the last batch of, yeah, you can have that. Like the deeds, um, double time, like one of their classic, uh, pales. What if one of them was like a slushy? That'd be fun. Well, that margarita sort of is, isn't it?

Yeah, true. Well, a frozen mug, yes. This isn't a frozen mug I had, but it could be. I'll go oat flat white. Yeah. Which would have changed. Last time I wasn't drinking oat milk. Yeah.

But I got converted by someone. I can't remember who. The girl at the cafe. It was the girl at the cafe. Yeah, but you know how they get that milk? Foot prisons. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that was that weird guy.

The guy tried, he asked that question and we were like, oh, is he going to tell us something disgusting? And it's like, oh, no, they just get it from the oat. Oh, okay. Cool, man. Thanks, thanks the combo. He was a cool guy. Sorry.

And I can't, I don't know what. And a stout, two different beers. A couple of beers. Why not? Did you have water in there? Water is in there. I think I'm having lemonade, I think, is the other one. Like, for Americans, like our lemonade, like, our lemonade, like, Sprite is what we call lemonade.

You're like a carbonated. Yeah, so I'd have a skinny latte. What is the other? Pap. Pop. I think some areas call it pop, some soda. Pop. My uncle Tim, I remember him calling it Fizzy Pop as I was growing up.

He listens, he might be like, I've never said that before in my life. Is he Kiwi? Welsh. Welsh. You know what I mean? You know how my brain associates for some reason, New Zealand and Welsh together? So, nothing in common, but I don't know why. Okay.

I think they're just a lot of good comedians come from those places or something. That's true. That is true. Both. All right, Dave. Okay, I'm also starting with water. Sheep, is it sheep? Yeah, I don't know. They've all got sheep. They've got something in common.

I'm not sure what it is. Water. Orange juice. Yeah, I need orange juice to be in there. I'd have some sort of pale ale beer. Yep. And I mean, they have a lot of sheep. This is Dave's turn.

This is Dave's turn. I'm just saying, I'm not saying, I'm not doing the bad joke that they fuck sheep. They have a lot of sheep per capita. That's all I'm saying. Who knows what they do with them? Well, they share it. Back to Dave. They don't shake.

Back to Dave. Okay. Please. Let me say Russian caravan. Because you also have to think about like, if, I mean, if you're already sort of like, well, I'm covered, there's a good for me. Then you sort of think, like, what would be useful for other people? Like, let's say somebody had vodka and then you had a mixer. I'll be a team up.

Yeah, exactly. I'm definitely going to say one of mine is coffee for my wife. I don't drink coffee, but she would love it. Yeah, yeah. If you were just able to get her a coffee. anytime. Because I make her a coffee every morning. Yeah, which is very sweet. If I could make it from my finger. Yeah, even better. Even better. Yeah. How does she have her coffee? Usually an iced oat latte. Okay. And so you've just got that ready to go on one of your fingers. Make that

your ring finger. That'd be nice. Yes. Just for the symbolism. That's a good one. Yeah. And then probably the fifth one. This is difficult. I would probably say a lime, Swiss Mountain malt from the pancake parlor. Oh, great choice. Yeah. So this is like basically like a multi milk shake. This is why I got tripped up the first time is because in discussing it with my partner, he was like, you should probably have like a protein shake or like a meal replacement shake or something, not just for like if you're stuck deserted, but also I don't get enough protein. So I do have to rely on like a protein shake in my day. And he's like, you should have that. And I was like, that's logical, sure, but I don't want it because I wanted my two kinds of coffee.

So he can have a protein shake on his hand for me. You know, if he loves me, then he could, He could sacrifice one of his, but I'm keeping both my coffees. I think that's reasonable. Yeah. So I'm going skinny latte, skinny ice latte. So is that two separate ones? Two separate ones. Skinny light.

It's just temperature. It's just the temperature. And it's silly. It's frivolous, but it's my hand. It's my beverages. Pre-mixed margarita. I'm going like a sprite type thing. I've still got one left.

Water. Okay. Well, that's less fun. Yeah, water. But yeah, I think, as I don't drink a lot of, alcohol, but I do love a marg. So I'm not going to waste another finger on another alcohol, but I can always just add a mixer to some spirit. I'm happy with that. Great. Lock it in. When do we get the surgery? I've booked us in for next week,

and I've asked if they could do us at the same time. So the other hand that we're not having made into drinks, we'll be holding hands. That's good. Isn't that nice? Yeah, that'll be nice. Yeah, great answers there, guys. Thank you. Thanks. I just thought they were really great. Yeah.

Like five liquids. Yeah. I'd be lucky to even name them. I'll try and count them on my fingers now. Earl Grey. Yeah, you've actually already answered. What? So let's just move on.

All right, here's the next one comes from Dave Loring. Okay. Supple-lipped Dave. Oh. Okay. Coming for the title. Have you given yourself that title or somebody else said that to you? Well, he's not here, sorry, Jess.

Oh, what? And supple-lip Dave has a brag. I mean, surely you've already done that. This has to be about your lips. If it's not, you've lost the plot, David Loring. David writes, hey, mates, thought I'd come in swinging with a truly amazing brag. Prepare yourselves accordingly. Okay.

I'm holding onto the table. I have six times in a row, finished a chapstick entirely and actively purchased a new one. Get the actual fuck out. What do you mean? Instead of just losing them without realizing and only discovering that when I've gone to use it. I don't think that's possible.

No. Six times in a row? Six times! I think that we can all agree, this is a truly spectacular feat of human achievement that I am basically a god now and that I've simultaneously mastered the art of humiliation. Hope you're well, stay awesome.

That's incredible. I'm so impressed, friend. That is amazing. Chapsic. What else do you call chapsics again? Lip balm. Lip balm. That's right.

That's what we call it. Lipsmacker. Yep. We go smackers for lip smackers. We go ape over grape. Gum is so yum. Get a fruit. Dada, da, dance.

And also fine. We didn't have friends as a kid, did you? That doesn't ring any bells? It was a lot of ads for you. No, I remember the product. The ads were you. we go ape over grape. I'm just realizing.

He didn't have conversations with other kids. Whereas in the ad breaks, what you would do is you'd turn off the TV and go and just frolic with friends. Of course. For two and a half minutes before returning to that. You're saying that like that's a weird thing to do. Well, I just, I'd never froliced. That's true. Yeah.

Ads were my friends. Advertising. Literally all the things I've been saying. Products were my comfort. marketers were my guardians. David Lauren, that is amazing. Six in a row. Six in a row. Can he go for 10?

Let us know when he hit 10. I wonder how long it takes too. Is it like a month? Was it like three months per stick? Yeah, just on how much you're using it. Because it's really, you know, this is a glass half full, half empty thing. Yeah. Are your lips that supple if you need that much chapstick?

You know what I mean? They're supple because of. Because of, exactly right. But are they now like... Too supple. What if you get lost on a deserted island, you have not? no more chapstick. That's a genuine hell for me. I have something in my pocket at all times. Yeah, but we're talking about chapstick. The humblest of all brags, I've got something in my

pocket at all times. I said some. Oh, okay. How often are you putting it on? You, I mean, you sit right next to me as we do this podcast and you've never seen me reach in and grab this and put it on mid-mid recording. I've never seen that product in my life. I've never seen it either. I do it all the time. I'm obsessed with it. I picture the little one with like a, you know, twirl it up and it's got a little... This is a tube one, like a... Do you get through it or do you lose it? What I've done with these ones, since I've discovered this particular lip balm that I like,

is when it gets really low, I buy another one, but there's still a little bit left in the old one, so I put that in like the bag I take to walk the dog. Or it sits on my desk. So whenever you need a little bit, I've still got it. I really didn't think this was going to kick off so much chat. David, you've done a fantastic job there. Look at that. I don't like your attitude today.

You could be a segment producer on one of Jess's radio shows the way that has created content there. You are just a nasty little man. Colin, what do you do with your chapter lips? Oh, yeah, hi, Ann! Hi, yes, I actually, I'm a beekeeper and I just use some of the wax from the bees, and it works out fantastic. Have you ever been stung by one of the bees? A couple of times, yes. That's fun.

You got a favourite bee? Oh, yes. River. River. River's my favourite bee. Oh, that's nice. All right, thanks for calling. Sorry, can I just have a...

Thanks for calling. Oh, can I have a bitocchi here? I want a hand! Jimmy! Sorry, are you just beeping at me now? We're reversing the studio. We're doing an OB today. All right, that brings us up to another section where we thank people on the shoutout level or above.

I think that's arse prod or above. Yeah. And Justin always comes up with a game based on their... topic at hand? Well, this is the whiskey robber. So what kind of robber are they? Okay. Love it. How do we want to, I like how I've been splitting it up lately. Someone reads out the names. Yeah. Someone says, I reckon someone reads the name, someone says the thing and someone says the kind of criminal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds great. So I want to say the kind of criminal. Okay. Dave, you want names or the, or the whiskey level thing, the adjective?

I happen to read out some names here. Okay. Great. You just get a lot of reading there. Appreciate that. I think you're going to know. I really like reading out the names. All of a sudden, I'm sweating. Well, we can swap halfway if you like. Well, let's see. If you tell me if you think I need help. Okay. Yeah, I think you need help, mate.

I've been telling you that for a few years, Jim. I'm just going to empty my head and my bladder and we'll... You'll piss on a dog? Piss on a dog. And I'm ready to go. All right. So you're going to do the criminal after me or before me? After.

Yeah, okay. So we're going to do it in... Like the whiskey robber. Yeah. So I'll read out from, first of all, I'd like to thank from Norwich. Aha. I would like to thank Meg Bays. Walking stick.

Robber. She's that good. That is good. The walking stick robber. Do we talk about what they've done? What do you think? What do you reckon? Oh, okay.

Do you think it's like part of a disguise? Or they use that as a weapon? I think that they're stealing walking sticks. Oh, stealing walking sticks. Yeah. Correct. Right. There you go.

I mean, if you keep going, you eventually find one of those. cool ones that's got like a sword or something. Or like a shot. Or a mirror. You go, oh, maybe it's a good thing I took it off this purve. Oh. Yeah. I'll say, oh, Meg also contacted me by the DMs on Patreon because she'd slip through

the cracks. And if anyone has, and Meg was so polite about it and said, I would normally never do it. I'm British. This is making me feel. I'm from Norwich. I'm like, oh, I don't know if that's, I've got that too. Yeah.

Oh, I feel the same way. So that's what I'm saying, please feel, uh, No pause. Yep. To get in contact in the page on DMs if you think you might have been skipped. Yes. Yeah, yeah, please. We will.

I mean, if you go like, oh, you toilet, you've skipped me, you dogs. I'll kill you. Like, that's a bit, like, that's a bit far. But if you just say, hi, I think I've been skipped, we'll, that's absolutely fine. I'm all right back. Shut your lid toilet. I'll gut you, you dog. And I will say, no worries.

We'll get to you on the next episode. And I will say, if you do reference. any of these things that Jess just said in that thing, I will not recall it. And just, he will be upset. Or I'll be, I'll be. And he'll take it out on me. I'll be excited. We've got an auto response on, uh, on most of our things that just says, I do not recall.

We should have that. I do not recall. I do not recall. So we recorded that seven minutes ago. I do not recall. Um, Meg Bay's walking stick, robber. Thank you so much. Appreciate your sport.

Okay. Now from San Jose in California, IA. It's Sarah B. The bucket hat. Robber Okay, this time I'm thinking the bucket hat robber is wearing a bucket hat Yeah

But it's so big that like It's covering their whole head So no one knows what made Sorry, what Sarah B looks like Yeah, yeah, yeah It's just got holes cut out Yeah It's a little bucket

It's a bucket, yeah She's a Ned Kelly style Yes Yeah, an American version of With a plastic bucket Yeah, plastic and mass produced Beautiful With holes

Thank you so much Sarah B I would like to thank from Queensland in Tasmania, beautiful part of the world, this is Moss Lover Iris. Oh, that's nice. The chicken egg. Robber. Really?

I think, Dave, you might need to not take over from me, but maybe Jess. What? I think she might be running out of steam. What do you mean? No, I think you're doing a great job. I'm doing my job. But I should do something different because it just will share that. So maybe I'll swap with Matt and then you can keep doing what you're doing.

Okay, great. Well, next up, I'd love to say. The Moss lover, Iris, we've got to say the chicken egg robber. Yes. Come on, Dave. That one's self-explanatory, right? Chicken egg? No, they are a chicken egg.

Oh, a large, oh, one of those costumes where it's like an egg. No, Dave, it's not a costume. It's an egg. It's not a lifestyle choice. It's gone rogue. I think, and that's why they love moss. They're a rolling egg. Which is, which is so brutal because they catch no moss.

And they're a moss lover. Yeah, so that is actually brutal. just like being near it. They don't want to catch it. Sorry, Moslavirus. Oh, next like to thank. From location unknown to us has not been provided. We can only assume they are deep, deep, deep within the fortress of the malls. And thank you to Rachel Guy.

The canister. Ooh, that's good. That's pretty good. Where did that come from? I was just trying to have some fun. The canister thief. I get in trouble if having fun. Canister.

What's a canister? Like a thing to put stuff in. Okay. All right. Taking canisters? Taking canisters. Or are they using canisters? No, they are a canister.

Oh, okay. No, they're still in canisters. From... From Fred Storage World. Oh, not Fred. That shit's expensive. He's already in a hard time. He's just at the double mortgage his home.

Yeah. It's quite similar to Howard's Storage World, but it's his brother, Fred. Oh, right. Did they used to be together that were just storage world? He used to Fred Howard. Fred's the good one, too. Yeah. Howard's a real piece of shit.

Howard's a dog. But yeah, that place is expensive. So, yeah, it's actually worth quite a lot what they're stealing. Rachel Guy, the canister thief. All right, do you want to let Matt read some names? Is that what you want to do, Matt? From Manchester in Mo. M.O. What's there, M.O. in the United States.

It is Missouri? Rebecca Thierman. Let me tell you. I'll look at it right now. It is Missouri. And the name was sorry, I spoke over it. Rebecca Thierman. The. Okay.

The bulldozer. robber She's back Great She literally is back I really I got Rachel Guy I did my best

few Rachel guy You got thief But everyone else I'm so sorry And is the balldozer You've been waiting You've been waiting months

for your shout out I'm so sorry that Jess is doing this And we You go on Some of the most dog shit riffs And we get edited out

And we're supposed To follow you on them And I'm having I'm doing a little bit And I'm getting abused But I'm going to ask The Bulldozer wrong What do you mean you're being abused?

Fucking believe. What do you mean? No, don't even talk to me right now. Let me defuse the situation by asking bulldozers, thieving bulldozers or using the bulldozer to, like, ramming shit. Yeah, ramming shit. That's fucking cool. But it's funny because they're actually ramming other bulldozers and then stealing that bulldozer. They're like towing bulldozers.

Oh, it's a big chain. Oh, like a conga line of bulldozing. It's pretty crazy. See, she's having fun, Matt. Oh, no, we're all having fun. I'm not having fun. Was it you, Dave, or was it, Joe? Jesse did the killdozer bonus episode a lot of years ago.

Yes, I did the killdozer, which is often requested, because not everyone knows the list of Patreon bonus episodes, but if you want to hear the story of the killdozer, which is still, for me, one of the most wild things I've ever come across. Yes. A disgruntled man in America decided to destroy half his town by bulletproofing a bulldozer and just going on a rampage and just like bulldozing stuff. Wild story. Absolutely wild.

So, yeah, if you want to hear that, that is a Patreon bonus episode that you hear right away. as soon as you are unlock those those doors. Well, you gotta press play it doesn't just automatically Yeah, it's just beaming into your brain.

You might have to search for it and then hit play but you know, it's like two steps. It's pretty easy. Yeah, so like, oh, do you need Dave to hold your hand? Yeah.

Fucking hat. You're hungry, aren't you? I will happily hold your hand. It's showing. I like to hold hands. I'm just trying to do a riff, Jess, and you're not supporting me.

Fine, I'm going to read out the next name from Yoville in Somersat. SummerSat. It's Charlotte, Thompson, who is the donkey robber. I'm glad he said that, because I went to

Fiddler. I went to fucker. Just working your way through the option. See, Charlotte Thompson, we honestly, we gave you the best one here. We gave you the best option. You could have been the donkey fiddler, the donkey fucker. Donkey fiddler. The donkey robber.

Up in a Yoville, went to saw a game. Yoville play Portsmouth at the Yoville. Beautiful. Yovil O'Ville. Yovil? It could have been. She's back. I never left.

He just stopped loving me. Come on, love her again. It's so good to have that lovable Jess back because that last one, whoever that was here. Oirksome. Right, I'm moving on from Cape Town in South Africa. Great to have you on board. Go Southern Hemisphere. Stefano Manigaldo.

Oh, beautiful name. Lovely name, Stefano. Thank you so much. The magic. Is that? Would that work? I guess. Is that like whiskey?

Or magician? The magician murderer. Whoa. Oh my God. Watch out, David Copperfield. They're on the loose. Now, killing murderers? Magician, murdering or murdering magicians?

Murdering magicians. It's got to be said in Vegas this one. Yeah. Everyone's a suspect. Yes. From South Coogee in New South Wales in Australia. Please, and thank you to Lugu. Lugo.

Lugo is one of the great names. From Kudji. Lugu from Kugu, from Kugu, anyway. Okay, I'll say it first. The aquarium. That was your... I'll say it first. Sorry, I'll take this one.

I don't know if it was actually up to me. I mean, I read the name. Jess is doing robber every time. Who do you think I was that to? Here we go. What about this? The robber. Robber.

That's freaking me out. What does that mean? Robbing robbers. Oh, yeah. Wait for the robber to leave the bank as they run out. That's great. And they go, yeah, what's this called again? Well, you fucking, you fucking, yeah, clothesline them.

And you say, I'll take their money. And you say, I'll be having that. Yeah, and then you walk off real cool. That's great. And they get arrested too, so I can't even come after you. That's classic, like, that does happen in some classic movies where there keeps being switches. Yeah. You know, you've got two spies or something.

Thank you. Yes. That's good. I love the robber-roba. All right. Please. I love the robber robber. Hey, is this shuggy?

Mr. Robber-Rober. Finally from, oh my God, home of the weeks here, I think. Knoxfield, Tennessee. Oh, my God, the Wigsphere, beautiful. Thank you so much to Cresana Carl. Okay, Cresana Carl is the... I'll take this one. The silver fox.

Oh, that's a good name. Oh, yeah. Because last week the silver fox was a cop this week. Yeah. A robber. Whoa. Taking it back. Dave's taking it back.

I'm reclaiming the title. Yeah, that's right. They took our culture. They took their own. Exactly. They took out a silver fox. Well, that leaves us just with the triptych club, as Dave's teacher incorrectly taught us all indirectly. Sorry about that.

Sorry about that. But I love Yosamite. Oh, Yosemite. Oh, so beautiful. On my toast. And I... Florida Quays. One who, uh, just introduced two into the Triptitch Club this week.

If you don't know what the Tripitjee Club is. They actually do spell the keys. I'm so sweet. Hollis spell it cheese. They are key boys. Okay. There's other quays, all right. Uh,

so, um, we're so close. And I feel like I'm losing my mind. mind in a good way and the yeah the tributage club it's theater of the mind uh if you are on the shoutout level or above for three straight years you get welcomed in you're not allowed to leave but you wouldn't want to even if you wanted to uh it's everything you want it to be uh there's an ice hockey table there is a kitchen there's a bar there's couches uh there's music Dave books a band. Jess has apparently made peace with the fact that I'm putting ice on her air hockey table.

In what universe have I made peace with it? It's just that Nathan Damon said I had to share. Okay. But I'm pretty fucking upset about it, actually. I don't know. I thought I thought we'd meet in a middle ground. You thought you and I, our relationship was good. Yeah.

You thought you and I. I thought we were in a good place. All good. What? I thought we were in the good place. No. So Dave, Dave, you've booked a band. for the after party.

You're never going to believe it, team. You will not read about this. This whole episode was about a bank robin ice hockey player. Yeah. You never believe it. Headlining the club tonight. We've got hockey dad. No way.

Australian bands. There you go. Hockey dad. Hockey dad. Yep. And Jess, you normally have a cocktail that's sort of got something to do with the topic at hand? Well, yeah, I do.

It's brandy. And also some Hungarian. food. Oh, sausage. Sausage. Sausage, chicken, paparcah, and goulash soup. It's very good. Oh, no.

What kind of temperature you're serving the goulash? I was hoping you wouldn't ask. Oh, no, what happened? It's too hot. Oh, God. It's really fucking hot. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Jess. I'm going to have to leave it out for a bit, and then it's going to get that weird film over the top of it, you know? But it's the only, otherwise, we'll have a lawsuit on our hands, and I don't think our public liability is going to cover us anymore. No, but I think. I think once people step into the Triptitch Club, it is technically its own territory. Yeah, and he can't leave to sue us.

Yeah. Yeah, we don't have lawyers. No, they're not allowed. That's one of our laws is no lawyers. Soup's up. Enjoy. So Dave's on stage. He's the MC.

Jess is hyping him up. She's got a hand on his ass, which is weird because this is theater of the mine. And I'm a bit too. I think it's quite nice. Well, it really matters more what Dave. Okay, Dave, what do you think of it? Love it, love it. There you go.

Lovel it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Mr. Lovel, lover. That was one of my best jokes. It's so funny. It didn't get enough.

It got quite a bit. Shane, what are you talking about? I loved it. What do you want me to have another breakdown of a Brad Piss? I loved it more, and that's the problem. There's two people coming in. I'm about to read out the name. Dave will hop you up.

And then Jess will hop up Dave up. Please welcome into the club. Make them very welcome. Make them very welcome. Make some noise. From Sacramento and California, it's Susie Darrow. On the straight and arrow with Susie Darrow. Welcome in Sacramento, Suz, as Lexi dubbed many episodes ago on Who Knew it.

And from Burton on Trent, from Great Britain. Please welcome in, Katie May. Where there's a wheel, there's a Katie Mow. Katie and Susie, please make yourselves at home. Fantastic names. Katie and Susie? Katie and Susie. I like them too.

Love it. I still think name of the day is Lugu, but. Agreed. Please, everyone who's already in the club, enjoy some soup, have some brandy, enjoy some Hungarian sausage. I'd wait on the goulash. Jess, is there anything we need to tell people before we go? That, if they want to, they can suggest a topic. Anybody can.

There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website, which is do go on pod.com, where you can find info about all of our other podcasts and live shows and merch and all sorts of fun stuff over there. and you can find us, like we've said at the start of the episode, um, on social media at do go on pod or do go on podcast on TikTok. Dave, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, also thank you so much for listening. And goodbye.

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