Two In The Think Tank - 457 - Florence Nightingale, The Lady with the Lamp

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

This week we talk about the incredible life of nursing pioneer, social reformer and statistician Florence Nightingale. Prepare to feel like an underachiever! This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:49 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.britannica.com/topic/higher-education/The-system-of-higher-education-in-the-United-Stateshttps://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/articles/zjksmfrhttps://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/florence-nightingalehttps://www.history.com/topics/womens-history/florence-nightingale-1 https://www.florence-nightingale.co.uk/https://nursingclio.org/2020/11/05/the-racist-lady-with-the-lamp/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Nightingale#  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey Matt, hey Dave, it's me Jess here and I have a question for you. What are you guys doing for Block? Oh, great question. What are we doing? Not what I'm doing for Block and you're doing and you're doing Jess. We're doing a mini Do Go On festival called Block Live. Okay, so you've made plans for the three of us. Yeah, check the calendar.

October 5 and October 6, 2024 on day one. We've got, which is the Saturday afternoon, we've got a Do Go On Live podcast followed by a live Bookcheek podcast. And then day two, that's the Sunday, it's another episode of Do Go On and these are block topics so they're going to be big ones, followed by a live Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Oh my god, my favourite podcast hosted by Matt Stewart. Exactly, and the good news is Matt, you can watch live in the studio if you want to come to Stupid Old Studios and buy an in-person ticket or watch it online, streamed anywhere in the world, live or on catch-up.

They're setting up a bar out the front. It's going to be sick. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be really, really fun. So yeah, get your tickets. Come on down or park yourself on the couch and watch along. Fantastic. And before we get to that, Matt, we've actually got a live, who knew it, with Matt Stewart

coming up in August for the 100th episode. 100th episode, August the 3rd at Comedy Republic. You, me, Big Wet, Oh my goodness. Mitch Whitrip, Ben Russell, Little Dry I think is what we call him, Serenji Yamana, and is there anyone else? I think that's...

You'll be there. Oh, I know I'll be there as well. The house will be there. The house. And you can get tickets to all of these shows via our website, dogoonpod.com Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On, my name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins in tow. Hello, I'm an in tow.

And that's an in turn. I have hyphenated my name. I am Jess Perkins in tow. In tow. Great, where does that come from? Where's the hyphen? Uh, between after perk. Okay.

Where's it come from? Uh, the OK. I like it. The moon. Oh, yeah. OK, how this show works is one of the three of us goes away, researches the topic often suggested to us by one of our wonderful listeners or many of them. Sometimes there's that, you know, people. Sometimes none of them. Sometimes none of them.

Sometimes only a few of the shit listeners. That's happened. Yeah, that's happened before. And you'll know the episodes. Oh, you'll know. All right. Cause the topics were dog shit. They were yuck. The Titanic?

What were you thinking? How dare you? They go away, they research a topic. They bring it back to the other two who always listen very politely and sweetly and ask really intelligent questions. Um, like how much long has this got together? And in this case it is Dave's turn, which means it's Matt and my turn to come together to become one, uh, but like we're well one, but we're two cause we're

conjoined twins with a SAS twins. Okay. We're going to SAS the shit out of you, Dave. Looking forward to it. While you tell us. Yeah, you would you piece of shit. Yeah, you little bitch. Please say I might have some more.

And Dave, we always start with a question to get us onto the topic. Yes, that is true Jess, and I have a question for you this week, and that is which historical figure is often referred to as the lady with the lamp? Oh, Florence Dardengale. Florence Dardengale. Well, you're both correct, but the first one to answer correctly was Jess Foggins. What? Woo! Florence Dardengale. Fuck you! both correct, but the first one to answer correctly was Jess Birkins. Flora Stardingale.

Fuck you. Well done, Jess. Nah, good on ya. Flo-no. Flo-no. Flo-ny. Flo-ni. Flo-ni.

Flo-ni. And we got there. Bill Nye's sister. Flo-ni. Flo-ni. Science gal. Well, she does double our guess in a bit of science. Do you know much about the- I was about to say, I gotta be honest, I guess, in a bit of science. Do you know much about-

I was about to say, I gotta be honest, I know the name, I don't think I can tell you much else. Exactly. So that's, I had the similar thing. I put up five famous people to the vote that's been voted for by the Patreon supporters at patreon.com slash do go on pod. And there were five people that I definitely knew maybe the one sentence summary on. Yeah.

But I couldn't tell you much more. She a nurse? Yeah, that's all I... And a bird? Ooh, 50% correct. Okay. She is a bird. Just a bird. I definitely, she was a big one in primary school.

And maybe that's when you learnt about her as well. For some reason, that was, yeah, I reckon we spent a day learning about her in primary school. We probably moved on to somebody more relevant by that time, by the time we were in primary school. Because we were so much into the new year. Yeah, this was in a class we used to do called, What Happened Yesterday? Yeah, OK. Alright, pick a topic from the news. What happened yesterday? Let's find out.

I think Florence Nightingale seems to be hit pretty big at the moment. Ah! Seen this, heard about this? You're the Jay Leno of your primary school? That's so cute, little hands in pockets. Ripping on Flo Night. What else? What else?

You seen this? Florence was definitely on the list of people I've, you know, know very little about, but know the names, so put her up and she won the vote. And the topic itself has been suggested by a few people. Anyone can suggest a topic at any time at dogoonepod.com. And thank you to Jacinta from Shell Harbour in New South Wales who suggested it both in 2018 and six years later in 2024. I appreciate that ongoing enthusiasm. That's awesome. Do you think she forgot? I honestly think she probably did. Sarah Jane Brown from Auckland in New Zealand, Dan Heap and Greta

Bauder, or border in London, and Mike Winkler from Milwaukee. Cool. That's a nice spread. Thank you so much. Yeah. I know very little actually. So the listeners, Dave is just spreading his butt cheeks right now. Oh yeah.

Sorry. I wasn't talking about like the locations of the people. It was quite a nice spread. It was a beautiful spread. Something for everyone. That's a nice spread. Honestly, I was impressed with how flexible he is. Yeah, just part in the cheeks.

Yeah, so I just discovered I could do that this week and I thought, thought I might as well show. So anyway, I'll put those away and I'll tell you about Florence on the phone. Let me just pop those away. There we go. Back in their case. I was getting a little cold and now I'm back. So Florence Nightingale was born on May 12th, 1820 to English parents William and Francis,

known as Fanny Nightingale. Her father was born William Shaw but had inherited the Nightingale name and family fortune, and from then on they were very wealthy. How do you inherit a name? It's like, you know, he's from that part of society where you, you inherit an estate and you become- You can have the cash, but you've got to take the name. Yeah.

You've- Honestly, I've seen Bridgerton, I get it. Exactly. You know? That's what I'm talking about. But I'd love to- a long lost relative comes out and says, you know I've seen Bridget and I get it. Exactly. You know, that's what I'm talking about. But I'd love to, a long lost relative comes out and says, you know, longer day of Wannakee, you're now Spuds McGee. David Dornham.

Mine actually wasn't so bad. Spuds McGee, to be better. David Dornham. Of the Dornham? Mine actually wasn't so bad. Spence Mckee, to be better. David Doorknob. Off-weight of the Doorknob? You inherited the Doorknob from family fortune. I never really thought about it, but yeah, the Doorknob name must come from somewhere. So yeah, David Doorknob.

It's your turn to be a Doorknob. That's something they say. It's a cute little thing that family says. Have a turn at being a Doorknob. That's something they say. It's a cute little thing that family says. Have a turn at being a doorknob. Have a go. So he became William Nightingale. Her mother, Fanny, was the daughter of an English MP and reformer, so they're also very well connected politically. Florence was born during her parents' extended honeymoon. Okay.

Went for a few years. I was going to say, at least nine months. Unless it was out of Whitlock. And she's the second daughter too. Oh my god. How long has it been? And she was born at an Italian villa in the city of Florence, after which she is named. Any relation.

What are the chances? I like the name Florence. Yeah, it's cute. Me too. It's cute. Flora is a nice nickname. Yeah. Flauza.

Flory. Rance. Flory. Flauza. Zed. Zizzi. Zabadooboo. Flory Dornope. Oh, that's great. Her older sister Parthenope.

I'm sure. I think the end of that's all we need. Her older sister, Parthenope. I think the end of that's all we need. Parthenope from me. She was born in Naples earlier in the honeymoon and named Parthenope after the Greek settlement that preceded Naples. So they're both named after where they were born. Oh, they didn't like Naples though. I think Florence really wanted to battle her. Parthenope.

Parthenope. They're obviously like, I like Naples though. I think Florence really wanted to battle it. Parthenope. Parthenope. They're obviously like, I guess Naples? No, let's look into that. Should get called Nipples. Yeah, Naples Nips or something. Yeah, we can't do that. Let's give her a more sensible name, like Parthenope. Parthenope.

And apparently her nickname that Florence called her in letters was Parthy. Oh, Parthy. Florence definitely got the better deal there. I actually looked up our names in case we are named after places we were born on our parents' honeymoons. OK, thank you for looking up our names. Matt, is there a chance your parents were staying in Matt the village in Switzerland? Which makes sense with your heritage.

Yeah, yeah, could have been. Dad might have been, you know, tracking down the ancestries. Population 361 in 2020. Matt has an unemployment rate of 0.94%, which is pretty brutal for the 3.39 people who are unemployed in the town. Wow. Hopefully they're really old. Come on, they're 0.93. Hopefully they're old or babies.

Yes. But unemployed means that they're seeking work. I think you're only counted in unemployment if you're actually... Oh. If you're an international man of leisure. So only counted in unemployment if you're actually... Oh. If you're an international man of leisure. So you can't be old or a baby. Yeah. Is it spelt with two T's, that math?

MA double T, yeah. Interesting, okay. Spelt correctly, wow. Jess, were you born in Jess Springfield, Illinois? Yep. Which comes up on Google Maps as the parking lot of a CVS pharmacy, the on-track car wash, and is next to Aaron's rent to own furniture store.

Yes, big fan of Aaron's work. Were you born there? Yep, that's where I was born. And I'll have to confirm with my parents, but I think I was born in Belgium in Dave, the sub-moon municipality of the city of Namur. And there was a beautiful old chateau on the river there called Dave Castle. Which is awesome. I think you guys got better deals there.

What? You what? You're in a car park. You're what? I am a car park. You're you're born in a car park. Beautiful. Beautiful. It's a modern day biblical tale. If I was named after there's no room in Aaron's. So you have to be sent out to the car park. Jessus. Oh, Jessus. Jessus.

Whoa. According to my passport, if I was named after where I was born, I'd be Mount Waverly. Could just be Waverly. That's pretty. Waverly's not bad. Wave. Waivy. Waivy. Mine's- What about Mount though? You could just be Mount. Mount. Mounty. Mounty. Mount Perkins. Mount Perkins. That's nice. about Mount though? You could just be Mount. Mount. Mounty. Mounty. That's Mount Perkins.

Mount Perkins. That's nice. Mount Perkins, fantastic. I like it. Anyway, I digress early here and what you need to know is that Florence Nightingale was born in Florence in 1822, a very wealthy and connected English family. OK. The family returned from what had become the family honeymoon, which is a little bit weird because they were all there,

and moved back to England in 1821 where they divided their time between two homes, both very nice and large, Leehurst in Derbyshire, located in central England, and Embly Park in what Britannica describes as the warmer Hampshire. I don't know how warm Hampshire actually is. Well, like climate-wise warmer. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. Because how big is warmer. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. Because how big is Hampshire?

Oh, no. OK. It's like Hampshire only warmer and it's called something else. Is that right? Well, now I'm reading it back. I'm thinking that maybe they're saying that it was more waterproof house. I don't know. OK. More fireplaces, it's warmer there. Mm.

Emily Park was a large estate and was the family's main digs. And Florence would sometimes venture to Derbyshire or to London During the social season. Hello lady whistle down Now you're talking our language. Yeah, and I love Bridgerton Because Bridgerton girlies where but I love it Dave was one of the girlies what which is high praise and it's based on on a true story, sort of, but they've really taken it for a walk. Bridgerton? Yeah. Yeah, it's based on a true story.

Is the main character real or something? Nah. No. OK. Well, I suppose you could say the world is real. Queen Charlotte. Queen Charlotte is actually real. She's not the main, she's not Bridgerton. Well, they had a spinoff about her. Well, it doesn't matter. Queen Charlotte.

And actually, you could say the spinoff is a bit more historically accurate, I guess, because it's based on- I might have been thinking it was about that. But anyway, so this is a social season is like a part of the year where it's just for socialising? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all go to their London castles, mansions, and well, this is based on Bridgerton, and it's just balls and-

And dances and the eligible young women meet with the eligible young men. Is it fun? Because it sounds like you're taking something that is meant to be fun and making it work. Yeah, it seems really tedious. And there's a lot of ceremony and sort of ritual. And if you want to just go for a walk, you have to go promenade. And what does that mean? It's just walking, but being seen walking. Oh.

Yes, but any of you are young, you have to be chaperoned by an older relative, like your father or your brother. Sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. And if you get caught talking to someone where you shouldn't be, my goodness, you probably have to marry them. You have to marry them. Well, in the end, I think I'm happy to be a chimney sweeper, whatever.

It honestly sounds so boring. And to have a job is actually quite shameful to them. Yes. You can't have a job. That's no, it sounds very healthy. It's so weird. But you know, it's a bit of fun to watch. Bit of escapism.

Yeah. And there's a lot of fucking. A lot of fucking. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I've heard this like the context I've heard about it is stand up comedians walking on stage talking about it and their mums being titillated. Yes. Yeah, that's about it. I think we've heard two comics talk about it like that. Is that kind of it?

Yeah. It's porn for mums. Porn for mums. Yeah, yeah. Because they don't they won't look at normal porn. No, God, no. Tasteful. No, no, this one's on the television. This one's on Netflix. This on Netflix. This isn't porn. This is just people. This is on a website that's streaming.

This is on a website streaming. It's not porn. It's not porn. It's just people fucking for my entertainment. It's not porn. No. So she's very wealthy from that sort of society, I guess you could say. Florence and her sister Parthenote were both given a rigorous education at home by their

father, and this is very uncommon, who taught the girls history, philosophy and literature. Her father had advanced views on women's education, which was pretty unusual at the time, I have to say. Yeah, you could learn an instrument because then, like, you, you, basically the young ladies in Bridgerton, when they're trying to, like, impress a man, they're like, yes, I'm very good at the pianoforte forte and I rather like walking outside. Oh. But then if any of them are like avid readers, it's sort of like, well, don't tell them you're right.

Right. Right. Okay. You know. You need to be, like, dependent. And yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So what's the piano? What's the difference between a piano and a piano forte?

Great question. Not sure. One's stronger than the other. I think it's maybe an earlier version of the piano on the way to being invented. Gotcha. Harpsichord, piano forte, piano, something like that. Are there ladylike and unladylike instruments in this world? The most ladylike is the rock and roll drum kit. Oh, yeah.

With the double kick drum. Yeah. Double kicks coming the whole time. Yeah, yeah. That's the most ladylike. That's the most ladylike. What's the least ladylike? Hot for teachers, the first song they learn. Yes, that's right. Least ladylike is probably the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. That's the most ladylike. That's the most ladylike. What's the least ladylike? Hot for teachers the first song they learn.

Yes, that's right. Least ladylike is probably the clarinet. Yes, very phallic. Very phallic. Unacceptable. Are we rolling out phallic instruments? So we're putting a line through quite a few. What else?

What else could there be that's a bit phallic? Flute. Oh yeah. Oh my goodness, I thought about that. I thought about that. Yeah, so no young lady will be... Put it down. Our young ladies will not be learning the flute.

Certainly shall not be fingering that flute. Anyway, Florence was educated. Educated, yes. Particularly gifted, yeah, from her father. Yep. And she was particularly gifted in mathematics and language and learnt French, German, Italian, Greek and Latin from a young age. Multilingual person. The BBC writes, her love of recording and organizing information was clear from an early

age. She documented her extensive shell collection with precisely drawn tables and lists. She loved to classify stuff. She loved data, keeping track of things, and this would come into play later in her life. Her diary reveals that on holidays, she would record detailed notes of population statistics, hospitals, and other charitable institutions. It's fair to say that she was not very similar to other average girls of her age

and social standing during this period of history. She wasn't like other girls. Exactly. She's a picnic. Yeah. We're all like other girls. I actually spend my holidays making notes about hospitals. Anyway.

Yeah, and I like to eat burgers and drink beer. Yeah, I actually really like my bowl. I love it. I really like my bowl. Don't even have a TV. I know. I'm not like other girls. I don't wear makeup.

So. You believe that? Girls who wear makeup, they're stupid girls. But no, I'm pretty cool. I'm not like other girls. I honk on a saxophone. What does that sound like? The most ladylike instrument.

Nothing phallic about it. Off the drum kit. Sorry. That's right. We started with a much more phallic clarinet and then we said, no, that won't do. So we bent it a little bit into a sort of S shape. Yeah. Show me a penis that looks like that.

Yeah. No, honestly, show me. Show me. I want to see that. Can I say one? That sounds fascinating. That sounds really, that feels like that could reach me in parts never explored. So she's not like the others.

Rather than take on her expected domestic duties, learn how to run a household and prepare for marriage, she would prefer to read the text of great philosophers and then debate her father. Cool. The family were also very religious. They were Unitarians, which a quick Google means, for me that is, they were Christians, but believed in God being a singular creator and not in the Trinity. Okay.

But quite religious. So what? So that means they didn't believe Jesus was God. I think that they- gosh, I didn't look into it too much. No, okay, let's move on. Part of the Holy Trinity. Files on the Holy Spirit. Not that- just the big guy.

He's the son. I think they believe in Jesus being the son as the representative of God on Earth. Yeah. I mean, the Trinity is confusing. I think that's pretty smart. Yeah. Knocking it down a one. Make it a little bit simple. For the kids to get their heads around. I studied, I like went to Catholic school. I still don't think I could explain the Holy Trinity that well.

No, God, no. I think it's slightly confusing too, because now Unitarian means a different thing to back then too. Yeah, right, okay. A little bit harder for me as a non-Christian to understand, but you don't- this doesn't come up, to be honest, later on. This is what I remember most being taught. It's like a three-leaf clover. Three different parts, but all part of the one clover, right? I'm like, yeah, I guess so.

And then you say- And they're like, that's it. But then you say, what about this four-leaf clover? Yeah, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess so. And then you say, that's it. But then you say, what about this full clover? Yeah. What do I do with this? Shit. Yeah. But also like, you know, he's got two arms. Yeah. What does that mean? They're all part of the one. God, I don't understand.

I don't know. It doesn't make sense. Does the guy up top, is he- what's he doing? What's he up to? He's wearing his image? So he's just like a guy? Don't worry about it. That's how I know. Actually, don't worry about it.

I forgot I said anything. The priest always says that. Just don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You're overthinking it, Matt. You're thinking too much about it. Matt, can you please leave my class? Matt, leave the church, please.

Go sit in the car park. Go sit in Jess. It's not going to work for you. As a 16 year old, this is important though, Florence experienced the first of what she called calls from God. She believed her calling was to reduce human suffering and to devote her life to the service of others. Holy shit.

Is she one of the few people who understands what it's meant to be about? Reduce suffering and serve others. That's what she's like, I've got to dedicate my life to that. That's my calling. She had a few more of these that sort of instills that throughout her life. Nursing seemed like a way to achieve this aim. She cared for sick relatives and other tenants on her family estates when she was growing up and she's like, I'm already caring for people this way.

Maybe I could do that professionally for the rest of my life. But she's been in training to run a household and be married. Exactly. Her family were opposed to her training and becoming a nurse. They expected a woman of her status to become a wife and a mother, marry a wealthy person from their social standing. Continue the family line. According to the BBC, she proposed training in Salisbury, but her parents refused.

They thought nursing was lowly, immodest work done by the poor or servants, completely unsuitable for a woman of her social standing. Isn't that crazy? And she went along with the expectations, but secretly she was dedicated to nursing and caring for others above all else. She was an eligible young lady with many suitors apparently sniffing around.

A lot of people trying to take her for promenades and dances and things like that. And her parents were really religious, so they hated this idea of her dedicating her life to helping others. They're religious. Okay. So we can't have you going around helping. No, you have to marry wealthy, so we accumulate more wealth. Exactly. And then have children.

You don't understand it. We're very religious. We're going to have to be strict on this one. You caring for others, that could be a bad look for us. So she had a lot of suitors sniffing around, the most persistent of which was the politician and poet, Richard Monkton-Milnes. That rules. Richard Monkton-Milnes. He did, see the one who wrote Winnie the Pooh? R.M. Amwheels or something?

Milne? Is that? A.A. Milne. Yeah. Is that him? Yeah, yeah. Changed his name a bit. Yeah, yeah.

He changed the R.M. to A.A., dropped the S off Milne. Yeah. Milnes. And you've got- That's actually pretty close. How about, can you picture currently having one of our politicians also being a poet and not just having the shit ripped out of him all the time? Oh, when he's talking about a poem. Like, he's not-

Yeah. He's not getting it like- Like in Parliament. Oh, yes, Mr Speaker, I'd love to hear one of the Prime Minister's poems. They've got to stand up and... And then the opposition just yell out, shame, shame. So, Richard Monckton Mills, big fan of Florence. After a nine year courtship, she rejected him.

Oh no. He's like finally built up. He's like, now the last thing. Will you marry me? No. Nine years. And courtships back then aren't like courtships now. You know, it's not like you're living together.

No. You know, it's like you had you danced at a couple of balls together. Yeah, you don't know each other at all. No! Had his eye on her for a long time. Probably spoke to her parents more than he spoke balls together. Yeah, probably. Yeah, you don't know each other at all. No! Had his eye on her for a long time. Probably spoke to her parents more than he spoke to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had the paperwork drawn up.

Yeah. And she's like, no. No, thank you. I reckon the courtship is him being like, ah, hello, Florence. And she's like, yeah, hi. And she keeps walking. And he's like, that's another excellent interaction.

And he's like, oh, it happened again. Good step in the right direction. I lasted three seconds this time. Just thinking about it again. Four seconds. Oh my God, that guy has a problem. Well done, Monkton. You've done it again. You've done it again, you absolute duck.

I've got nothing left. You have done it again, you absolute duck. Oh, oh, oh. I've got nothing left. Yeah, I think I think the wires were crossed there and he thought they were courting and she thought he was like an acquaintance. Sorry. A small talk. Philip, was it? Yeah. He's like, will you marry me? She's like, no.

It's like, oh, no, I've been caught in the friend zone. The nine year friend zone. So she rejected him, convinced that marriage would interfere with her ability to follow her true calling to help others. Preach. And to be honest, she was probably right. You wouldn't have been able to do a lot of things she did, I imagine, if she had followed through that marriage.

And whilst not being allowed to take up nursing in any formal sense, Florence was a great traveler and traversed to exotic destinations like Egypt, Italy, Greece. Awesome. So she did a lot of travelling. So jealous. Sounds really awesome. So jealous. And back then, that took a year to get there.

Took a long time. You know? I want to be back in those days as a- as a nurse travelling. Don't you think that would be sick? You can travel now. What? And it won't take that long. You'd get on a plane.

But hey, what are you gonna, Four years to be on a nurse? Yeah, probably. I just I don't know. That's a long time to plan a trip. I don't think you have four years left. Well, that's what I'm talking about. I wish I could just. You don't have time to start a new degree.

If I could only just go now. But I'm not a nurse. I've not even begun my study. Sorry. But she traveled a lot in 1847 whilst travelling in Rome. She met Sidney Herbert, who was a baron and had been. Oh, no kids. I'm going to shut up for a bit. He was a baron. Such a funny way to, you know, like, anyway, fucking hell.

As he sips more coffee. That'll fuel me later. That'll be good. I'll shut up for a bit. Glug, glug, glug. He was a baron and had previously been Britain's secretary at war. Oh, thank goodness. Britain's sexiest man. I don't know why that's what I thought.

He was runner up six times in a row. Secretary of war, okay. That damn Percy Jones always beat me. So he's there taking notes, getting coffees. Yeah, that's right. For the war. Yeah. Keep me going.

Typing out, they're dictating and he's typing out the memos. And then the war says, read it back to me, Sydney. The war says. Bang, bang, bang, boom, bang, bang, boom, boom. Perfect, Sydney. That's a memo from war. Now you're getting silly. I know.

Now I'm- Cut it out. That's a memo from war. Now you're getting silly. I know. Now I'm- Cut it out. I just dropped back so I'm like, better fill this up. You're the one who's supposed to keep this going. I know, that's right.

Don't put that on me. I know, sorry. So he- Bang, bang, boom, boom. So it's- You sound like a rock and roll drum kit. Yes. Oh, yes. Must been like an instrument.

So it's 1847, she's travelling in Rome, she met Sydney Herbert, it was a baron. So I just said that to him, he's also one of these upper class people and nearly all these politicians are. He'd been Britain's secretary at war, very connected. He was in Rome on his honeymoon with his wife, Liz, and the couple made close friends with Florence and it would prove to be an influential relationship. OK. Thruple. Maybe.

Whilst visiting the Acropolis in Greece, Florence rescued a baby owl that was being tormented by a group of boys. She rescued the owl and named it Athena and kept it as a pet. Athena- Did she find it in Athens? Like the family have no imagination. That's incredible. It's true. Athena.

I didn't. Every time they're panicking. She's just looking around. What is it? What is it? Oh, name the baby. Hospital. Royal Women's Hospital. That'll do.

Beautiful name. And Athena would sit on her shoulder or be kept in her pocket. Oh, little owl. Tiny little owl. Or big pocket. Big posh. That's cute. Little owl in your pocket.

It is cute. Athena was a constant companion. And when the owl died, Florence wrote, poor little beastie, it was odd how much I loved you. I think it's odd you had a pet. Exactly. We love our pets. She hasn't been brought up in a sort of a normal way. It was odd that I had fawned some sort of affection for this little creature that I lived with me and I fed and was my companion. How odd that I have fawned feelings for this little creature.

This child walking around behind me whom I birthed. I'm oddly fond of. So strange. What are you talking about? That was good. I'm not an Englishman, but I think that accent was spot on. Thank you so much. I've really been working on it.

Great work. Thank you. Really brought this character to life. And I've been, you know, researching her for the last 10 days. Maybe Emma Thompson or something like that. Okay. Emma Thompson. In a period piece? Has played Florenstein and for the last 10 days. Maybe Emma Thompson or something like that. OK. Emma Thompson. In a period piece?

Has played Florentine and Gale in a sketch. There you go. In a sketch. The highest form of art. A lot of famous actors have portrayed her because she's been in a lot of movies and TV shows. Anyway, whilst on her travels, she also visited hospitals in Paris, Rome and London.

And in 1850, at the age of 30, her parents realised that the now ancient spinster was unlikely to ever marry and relented, allowing her to train as a nurse in Germany. Wow. Ah, so they... Were still controlling her, even though she was 30. Or was it like, we cut you off if you do? Yeah, it's like... Surely she's allowed to. I think you could legally do it, but it's like, it'll be scandalous, it'll be terrible for our family.

Please don't do this. We will, yeah, cut you out from the family. You won't have any of these social connections anymore. I started feeling this story is going on the way that she's gonna swan in as this rich nurse, when there's been nurses doing hard work for decades. She's gonna come in and we're talking about her and there's all these forgotten reds, she's come in and going for the photo ops. Yep, I'm helping them. Yep, yep, yep. Help, help, help.

Got that. We got it. All right. Wrap it up everybody. I brought my own press team with me. I've got a stylist. There's some of that here. Initially, the training was just two weeks, but she went back in 1851 for three months of training where she picked up basic nursing skills, the importance of patient observation, and this is a big one, the extreme value of hospital organisation.

Sorry, the initial training was two weeks. Yeah. And it was, it wasn't until the second training that she learnt the basics. So what did she learn? And that was three months. And also they were doing a fair bit of admin. Yeah. Wow.

Pretty quick stuff. That's insane. Well, yeah, like, I mean, nurses are spending years at university now. Obviously medicine's very different. Yes. But hospital organisation isn't. We still do it the same way. And there might be a reason for that. Because they nailed it first up.

Okay. I was joking, but we really do do it the same way. Okay. Her sister Parthenope- Jesus Christ. Every time you say that name, it makes me sigh. It's awful. Can you call her Parthy? Parthy. That's what she would have wanted. Her sister Parthy was not as keen on her sister's training. Who cares? Who the fuck cares? You're going to love this sentence. The BBC writes, Parthi, struggled to accept her sister's hard-won independence and suffered a nervous breakdown in 1852.

Fuck you, Parthi. Honestly. This forced Florence to return and care for her. Oh, my gosh. Assuming she's faking it. Aye. Oh, I just don't like the job my sibling has. Shut up. And it caused the nervous breakdown.

That's what the BBC have written, yeah. Because you just can't get your head around it. I haven't done base- I haven't done the three month training. And so I don't know what's involved with a breakdown like that, but can it be brought on by feeling a bit funny about what your sister's up to? Well, part of the nurse's training is you did have to murder the firstborn child in your family. So Parthi felt threatened. Okay.

Well that makes sense. You have a bit of a nervous breakdown. Her time was. You're worried that you're going to be killed. No, she just had a bit of a nervous breakdown. Her time was. You're worried that you're going to be killed. No, she just had a bit of a breakdown. Just a side note on Parthi. She married a baronet in 1858 at the age of 39. Wait, what? Parthi didn't get married till 39.

Well, that's why it's called a baronet 39. Their parents are so disappointed. Yeah, that's right. They've given them all these connections that they expect them to. And I reckon their mum's like, see, I told you you shouldn't have read them books. Honestly, she would have probably said- You put all those ideas in those girls' heads. You've rotted their brains.

Now we've got two disgusting spinsters. Yeah, it would be like just the chance to bring up any old things. I knew it. I knew it. I knew when you dropped that thing on their head or whatever, when they were kids or whatever, you know, like bring it up. What are you bringing up now? Great. That was 39 years ago. OK, so but also she's all right.

She's OK. Fucking party. So party is also when when Florence is just going off to study, Parthy's also not married. She's also letting down the family or whatever. And then she's like, oh, I had a breakdown, I need a nurse. Yeah, you better come home. Fuck you.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about Parthy. I'm off Parthy. You're not on Parthy? Well. And you were, until this point, you've been right on her. I was a big Parthy fan. Yeah, you were up to your bloody shoulder in her. Now. I was a big party fan. You were up to your shoulder in her.

Now I'm taking my arm out, let me tell you. All the way out? All the way out? All the way out. You got your own party, figure it out yourself. I like that because as soon as I said, I'm like, that's awful. And then you kept, I liked that you made it good.

There's nothing I hate more. No, that's not true. But one thing I really, really hate is videos of vets checking on cows and like hand all the way up them. I hate it. Those long gloves. I won't do it. I love those videos. Oh, is that weird?

Am I the weird one? Who's weird here? Who's weirder here? Is that weird? Am I the weird one? Who's weird here? Who's weirder here? So, Parthenope, she got married later on after this breakdown. Anyway, the two sisters were close later in life and Parthenope became a great supporter of her sister.

Shut up, Parthenope. But at this stage, it just- what do you mean having a breakdown of it? Very strange. Anyway. I don't understand how- because breakdowns, I'm guessing they just happen somehow, right? Oh, it was just a bit of anxiety and the stress of it, yeah. And you like it goes past the point of no return and you're fried for a bit. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's because her sister is learning something. Strange trigger. Like, come on. But she grew up in the same weird society, you know. Hey, we're all products of our environment. It's a different time. Makes you think. Anyway, no one has any responsibility for how they turn out.

Okay. Yep. It's not my fault. That's what I'm saying. And if you blame our parents, they blame their parents. That's right. And it's a beautiful system that goes on forever. Beautiful cycle.

It goes all the way back to Adam, that cycle. What a prick. God, he really ruined all of us. Honestly, the way back to Adam. What a prick. God, he really ruined all of us. Honestly, I think it was Eve. Because that's who he blamed. Oh, she offered me the apple. Anyway, in 1853, at the age of 33, Florence Nightingale finally achieved her

lifelong mission of becoming a proper working nurse when she became superintendent at a women's hospital in Harley Street in London. Okay, so she skipped a superintendent. Yeah, so she used her social connections to get the job and immediately flexed her muscles as an effective administrator by improving nursing care, working conditions, and the efficiency of the hospital. Certainly taken credit for it. But you're absolutely right that she has gone straight into a managerial position.

No. She's like, I don't really do the hands on, like the wiping of the bum. Yes. I don't do sponge baths. No. I'll just, I'll do the paperwork and you go and do that. I'm wealthy, you see. Yeah.

Oh, you don't understand. I'm actually wealthy. And she didn't actually have to worry about a wage itself because her father had given her an annual income of 500 pounds, which is roughly 40,000 pounds, 65,000 US or almost 100,000 Australian in today's money. That was the annual salary from her dad, which allowed her obviously to live comfortably and pursue her career. Yeah, wow. Jess is looking in shock.

Well, I think it's because she's about to go to America and that doesn't add up on the exchange. Is that right? No, I'm just so... You're going, hang on. Hang on a second. A dollar for 65 US cents? Is that what you're thinking? No.

You're thinking, yeah, you're worried I'm going $500. 500 means $100,000. Oh my God. No, no, I'm thinking I really wanted to, I was really rooting. I was excited to learn about Florence Nightingale and now I'm like, you fang a Richie Rich. So she doesn't, is she getting a wage from the hospital as well? I imagine she gets paid for her work too.

Yeah. But like- And on top of that, daddy's giving her a hundred K a year. Yeah, which would be much more I imagine than an actual- I think it might be. But still, like, she didn't have to do this, but you know, I think also like history just records the rich people's stories. Absolutely it does, and then we tell them.

Also coming up, her impressive bit has come easy yet to count. I'm not, I'm not unimpressed, I'm just a little bit annoyed that- that- maybe I have classy shoes. Maybe that's what this is. You've got classy shoes? I've got classy shoes. I'm wearing gumboots today. Look, I've got classy shoes. I don't know what else to tell you.

I think Serenius have a stand-up 10 years ago where the punchline was a pun on trust issues, trust issues. That's why he's one of the best. That's good stuff. Sorry Dave, please do go on. But but. I've moved past my shot. Yes, I did.

Yeah. I think it'll all turn around once we hear about her coming out with Penicillin, right? Yeah, that will really turn the corner for me. That's in this right? Yeah, that will really turn the corner for me. Is that that's in this story? Yeah. And you're right. She could just be doing promenades and marrying someone wealthy and doing nothing, unless she's out there trying to make admin fun. And that's cool.

Yes. Honestly, I think she's probably living a better life as well. Oh, 100 percent. God, it sounds so boring. They just sit around and read a book, eat food. Oh, actually, it doesn't sound. They just sit around and read a book, eat food. Oh, actually, it looks like too bad. In a castle. When you say it out loud. Okay, hang on a second. Get to the boring bit.

Somebody who dresses them and bathes them. That's weird. It's unnecessary, isn't it? But okay. I'll give them- I'll give- I'll go- Can you just pretend you're doing that? Yeah, I'll pay you. I'll wash my feet. Yeah.

You could do fencing or something. At least you could do some more fun activities. I wouldn't really be allowed to do much. I'll wash my feet. Yeah. You could do fencing or something. At least you could do some more fun activities. I wouldn't really be allowed to do much. And that sucks. Right. Yeah. But we'd have to, like, court people for nine years and then be rejected. That can't be good for your site. All right. Onto the next one. Another nine years. Here we go. Process starts again. That's okay. You got this.

Nine years is insanely long. Like, I don't think- I don't think court chips lasted very long back then. Yeah. Wow. Anyway. You'd want to have a few irons in the fire, wouldn't you? A few court chips. Yeah. Well, the sad thing is that was Milnsy's 14th iron. It's like, this is my final iron.

Please, please! The fire is bare. She injected him because he was 94 years old. I need a wife. Anyway. You. So, in 1853, an event that would dictate Nightingale's legacy began, and that is the Crimean War, which very briefly and over

simply, a background to that is on one side was Russia and on the other side was the Turkish Ottoman Empire. And it all began with a dispute between the Russian Tsar Nicholas I and the Ottoman Emperor Turkish Ottoman Empire and it all began with a dispute between the Russian Tsar, Nicholas I and the Ottoman Emperor Abdulmecid I over which empire would have authority over Orthodox Christians living in Ottoman territory. The Russian Tsar was like, well, they're Orthodox Christians. I should be looking after them because they have same religion as me. And then the Ottoman Emperor was like, well, no, they're living in Ottoman

territory. I should be there. My subjects. So Nicholas issued an ultimatum that demanded the Orthodox subjects be placed under his protection. Britain attempted to mediate and arrange to compromise to which Nicholas agreed. But when the Ottomans demanded changes to the agreement, Nicholas recanted and prepared for war. And the British and the French, allies of the Ottomans, did not like the ideas of Russia expanding its territory or influence, so they teamed up with the Ottomans as the allies and war began.

Okay. That's kind of the background here. And- It's one thing we've always been good at, war, humans. I think you meant do go on. I was like, yeah, we've got a few here. No, God, no, we're not good at anything. But war, humans. I think you meant do go on. I was like, yeah, we've got a few here. No, God, no, we're not good at anything. But war, humans. Is Crimea a place or is that- does that mean-

Yeah, so, gosh, I've got a bit here on that. Because it is- it's like one of the wars you hear about, but- Yeah, I couldn't tell you anything about it. I'm pretty sure, I think, Burke from our early episode about Burke and Wills, he went off- I think he went to try to go to the Crimean War, but it was over by the time we got there. It takes ages to get there. It takes ages. So, Crimea is a peninsula in Eastern Europe that in modern times is internationally, by most people, recognised as Ukrainian territory. And while you may have heard about it over the last 10 years, it's been under Russian occupation since 2014.

Right. And Ukraine still claims it. Yes, that's right. In their territory. I do recall that. That's bad that I've, I couldn't quite remember. So that's where the majority of the war takes place. And the war was one of the first conflicts.

And this is one of the big reasons we've heard of it. And still it is, I guess, for want of a better word, a cultural touchstone, like a famous war, is because it was one of the first conflicts in which military forces used modern technologies such as explosives, naval shells, railways and telegraphs. And I was one of the first to be covered extensively in written reports and in photographs. People not at the front line were actually aware in fairly real time what was happening during the war. Before this, that had not been sort of the case. They'd go away, fight a war, and you might hear bits and pieces over the months, but not in real

time. William Howard Russell, an Irish journalist for the Times, was in Crimea and the surrounds and sent dispatches to the UK in what are regarded as the world's first war correspondence. Cool. He was later knighted for his services. Sir Russell was described by one of the soldiers on the front lines thus, a vulgar low Irishman who sings a good song, drinks anyone's brandy and water, and smokes as many cigars as a jolly good fellow. He is just the sort of chap to get information, particularly out of youngsters.

Little charm, yeah. Charm, yeah. Sound like he was getting in there, partying with the boys. Yeah, getting the info. Getting the actual info out of them, which, yeah, I really like that. I think that's, you know, a wily early journalist. His wiki page writes, his dispatches were hugely significant for the first time the public could read about the reality of warfare. So back at home, people are like, shit.

That sounds cool. That sounds cool. But and all it is is just him going, so in the bar again. Oh man, Jono had too much and he was crook, but he was being so funny before he started spuing his guts up though. Yeah, war's fucking sick actually. War's awesome. You should all give it a go. Yeah. You should all join up. This is sick.

It's actually so fun. People are like, oh my God, I want to meet Jono. Jono sounds awesome. Like a character. I love him. People are writing fan letters to Jono. Jono. Jono.

So, emergency fighting, like I I said, taking place in Crimea. However, according to Britannica, during the war, the British troop base and hospitals for the care of the sick and wounded soldiers was primarily established in Skotary across Bosporus from Constantinople, which is now Istanbul. Istanbul, the Constantinople. Istanbul, the Constantinople. The Constantinople, the Constantinople, the Constantinople, the Constantinople, why the Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks.

Perfect. Did you have in your notes that Matt would sing? Yeah. Bet $50 and I just won. Against. One of Russell's reports about the hospital stated that the soldiers were treated by an incompetent and ineffective medical establishment and that the most basic supplies were not available for care.

So he's writing about that and people at home are reading about it in the newspaper. The English public at home read about this ill treatment of their soldiers and it led to an outcry demanding that something should be done. Our boys are out there suffering. No one's even looking after them in the hospital. It's not good enough. Sydney Herbert, the man who had been Florence Nightingale's friend on her on his honeymoon in Rome, had again become a secretary of war. And he thought of his friend and wrote a letter to her requesting that she lead a group of

nurses to the war to fix up the medical system. And at the same time, Florence also read this report, wrote a letter to her friend and Sydney's wife, Liz Herbert, requesting that she be allowed to go over to the war to fix up the medical system. Funny you say this. And the letters apparently crossed in the mail and arrived at similar times and each of their requests was, of course, granted because they're like, that's what I was saying. Yeah. Did you read my letter?

Yeah. Because that's what I said. Don't claim credit for my ideas, this is me. So, Nightingale was allowed to take 38 nurses to the military hospital in Skitari. Take two more. You reckon 40 is a good amount? One more. One more, so it's 40 total.

Exactly agreed, yes. Because she is technically a nurse. Yeah, she is a good amount. One more. One more. Exactly agreed. Yes. Because she is technically a nurse. Yeah. She does the basics. She's a nurse leader. She's done three months of training. She knows what she's done.

I think most of the nurses at the stage are done. No one's done their full year. No one's got their degree? Degree. Interesting. No specialists, no midwives? Not yet. Okay.

Okay. Paramedics, that'd be pretty good. Yeah, of course. There's the ambulances, there's cars. Some people do the double, that'd be pretty good. Yeah, of course. There's the ambulances, there's cars. Some people do the double, like the paramedicine and like nursing. So they're good in an emergency, that's for sure. Yeah, that's good.

Anyway, whatever. That's someone you want on speed dial. So they were allowed to go to the military hospital in Sikatar in Turkey, the first time women had been allowed to officially serve in the army. Cool. There you go. They arrived on November 5th, 1854. And what Florence Nightingale and her team discovered when she got to the hospital barracks

was beyond anything they could have imagined. The BBC writes, the floor was an inch thick with feces. So nobody thought to pick up the shit? Yeah, she would have walked in going, okay, this is worse than I thought. We're going to have to do real basics. Okay, toilet training. Poo, not on the floor. Not on the floor.

Repeat after me, not on the floor. Not on the floor. Poop in the bucket. Throw the bucket away. Throw the bucket on the floor. Start again. Okay. You've got an empty bucket.

Oh my God, that's disgusting. At that point I'd be like, I'll make the trek home actually. Thank you. I think I just burn it down. Yeah, I think I just burn it down. Yeah, I think I just burn it down. I think I just burn it down. I think I just burn it down. I think I just burn it down. I think I just burn it down. I my god, that's disgusting. At that point I'd be like, I'll make the trek home actually.

I think I'd just burn it down. Yeah, I'd start fresh. Yeah, people in Zara, who goes, start again. You're all grots. You're shitting all over the floor. You did this. Now you suffer the consequences. That's horrific, okay.

Not a great start. She was not welcomed by medical officers and had to contend with inadequate supplies, uncooperative staff and severe overcrowding. She described it as the kingdom of hell. But this didn't stop Florence from shaking things up. We'll have more of this story after these messages. So back to this shit filled hospital. Oh, yeah.

Just what you want. I'm glad we had that ad break to listen to some great products that are available because that really took my mind away from the shit. Although I should say if you sign up on Patreon, you can skip that and just get straight back into the shit. Straight back into the shit. That's right. No breaks. We just took shit wall to wall.

One time I was in hospital and sharing a room with three other people and an older woman was snoring so loudly I couldn't get to sleep. And then she called the nurse over to ask for something to help her sleep because she couldn't sleep. And I was like, honey, you've been sleeping. And even that- What a slap in the face. That was fine. That was a really pleasant experience because there wasn't an inch of shit all over the face. That was, that was fine. That was a really pleasant experience. Cause there wasn't an inch of shit all over the floor. Did you think about asking, did you go, oh, while you're there, can you get, make it a minor double sort of thing?

I did ask the nurse, actually, I didn't even think of that to ask for something to help me sleep. I asked the nurse to smother that woman with a pillow. Yeah, which he gladly did. The nurse was like, absolutely, of course. Can you please help her sleep forever? I'll do that right now. Thank you. Cause nurses are lovely. All of them absolutely, of course. Can you please help her sleep forever? I'll do that right now, thank you. Because nurses are lovely.

All of them. All of them. Every nurse, beautiful. So, Narnia, she got to work. She bought equipment with funds provided by the London Times, cleaned the wards, and got soldiers' wives to assist with laundry. She's also rich. Chuck your own money in there.

Never mind. It's so funny to be sponsored by a newspaper. And you said before these were the first time women were allowed to serve in the army, which is this just in England or? That would be in the British army. I'm not sure if we compare it to others, but yeah. Yeah, because you, I mean, yeah, I guess that would be the kind of question you wouldn't be able to answer.

Like without looking into it, you mean? Well at all, probably. Like, would they know? The first army to have a woman allowed to serve probably was before, like, prehistoric times. Oh, yes, of course. Depends what your definition of an army. Like Joan of Arc, she sort of was in an army.

Yep. She waved a flag. Yep. That's before this, wasn't it? Yeah, she was closer to the fighting than Florent Steinergel was here. So she's cleaning place up. Cleaned it up. She also implemented hand washing in the hospital.

Holy shit. Which beforehand was not common. She thought cleanliness was next to godliness. She came up with that. Yeah. So it wasn't Godfrey's vacuum cleaners with their catchphrase, cleanliness is next to godfrey-ness. Which one was first?

Oh, that's good. That's actually really good. Honestly, if you're sitting around the office and you think that up, that's a, like, call it and go home early today. For sure. Yeah. That's, I mean. That's a half day right there.

But are you saying that Godfrees came up with it or Nightingale? I think Godfrees. Yeah, and Nightingale's playing off the Godfrees. Yeah, that's right. She paraphrased. They're good people. She also was like, check out this vacuum cleaner. And then used it to pick up a bowling ball. Yeah, it's really impressive.

Very cool stuff. Always impressive. Fratannica writes, most importantly, Nightingale established standards of care requiring such basic necessities as bathing, clean clothing and dressings and adequate food. Which before that, you'll be surprised to hear, or not surprised, because you know about the inch of shit on the floor. They didn't have any of that. They didn't have fresh PJs or some breakfast.

None of that. And they didn't have a bath. No. I can see why some of these people weren't feeling so crash hot. I'm wondering if she's gone into the wrong place and this was like a dairy farm or something and it's just cows. There's slop all over the floor. What's going on in here? It's just little pigs in bed. They're just shitting on the floor. Naughty! Get up piggy! Clean up there. She's like, oh no one's cooperating, they're all yelling at me. Oh my god. They're mooing mate. Yeah, they're all yelling, they won't shut up. They sleep standing up, there's something wrong with them. They're ignoring me, they're pretending they don't speak English.

You're in the British army. I know you speak English. And she was very hands on, working very long days and wandering the wards at night, checking on patients, earning her the nickname, the lady with the lamp. Nice. Oh, yes. I've heard that somewhere before. It was the last time I started this episode.

Exactly. And you knew Florence Nightingale. Or maybe it was the last time I started this episode. Exactly. And you knew Florence Nightingale? Hmm. Or maybe it was because Jess started saying Florence Nightingale. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not sure. But you knew that nickname, maybe? Maybe.

I feel like I did. But do you think that she's, is she just walking through the hospital at night to be seen? Yeah. Like, this is just in a... She's just waking people up. It's informative. Hey, hey. I'm here. I'm here. Hey, she's just waking people up. It's informative. Hey, hey, I'm here.

I'm here. Hey, just letting you know I'm here. What was the walking to be seen called again? You're saying that that was one of the things? Promenading. Promenading. Do you think she's just promenading? She's just promenading.

With a little candle saying, hey, hey, wake up. Bop, bop. Yoo hoo. Remember you saw me. Yoo hoo. Okay, Elsa here. Long days. Long days. Oh my God, I've been here all day. Jeez, tell you what.

I've been very hands on, so for sure. Doing half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night, and then being like, I've been here the whole time. I was in the office in between. I was in a different ward, but- Yeah.

I'm so hands on telling you. Handsy more like it. Stop touching me. Jeez, I'm accusing her of fiddling with the patients. Thank you for that explanation. Stop touching me. I'm accusing her of fiddling with the patients. Thank you for that explanation. Explain yourself. Prove she didn't.

Can't defame the dead. Thank goodness for that. But she stuck it out and gained the respect of both medical staff and soldiers, who at first were a bit like, who's this woman telling us what to do? And then very quickly, people respected her work ethic. That's maybe because they weren't having to slop around in an inch of shit. Oh, you think we could do something apart from walk around in ownership? I'd like to hear your ideas, not. Because they won't be any good.

So, yeah, like quickly they're like, holy shit, you were, yeah, you were onto something here. Oh my god, Jerry, you're clean. It smells so much better in here. Doing the basics? I actually feel a bit better because I had a bath and I've eaten some food today. It's so funny that it had to be said, but like, imagine she never got sent there and where, you know, it's like this Bizarro future where we're all just up to our ankles in shit in the hospital.

No one ever. Or even inside here. The podcast studio. Slop it around. All I can think about is clean pajamas. I don't know why. I think it's when I was a kid, Mum would, if I was sick, Mum would put me in the bath and then by the time I got out of the bath, there'd be fresh pajamas and fresh sheets on the bed.

Oh yeah. And you're like, I feel 100% better right now. That's so good. So good. That's good mum work. Great mum. And where was John? Was he helping out with that?

Nah, he was probably, I don't know, at work or something. Probably bloody providing for the family or something. Paying for the pyjamas. Yeah, whatever mate. Or a mark. Nah, good on him. Wait, you normally do a nah, good on him after you've shat on him. You're like, oh, probably working hard and providing for the family.

Nah, good on him. He's all right. Yeah, because he wasn't there to put me in my fresh pidgeys. Tell you what, it sounds like you've got a perfect combo of mother and father there. Yeah. Great team. And like you say, normally off pod, every family should have a father and a mother. As I always say. Normally off pod. Off pod typically, yes.

But that is something that you do often say. And you say it has to be one of each. And none of this doubling up. No, otherwise they'll turn out wrong. I think that's what you say, isn't it? Yeah, I said no, I don't say they turn out wrong, Matt. I say they'll turn out rotten. Okay, yeah. Is this what you wanted? Did you want? Yeah, I said, no, I don't say they turn out wrong, Matt. I say they'll turn out rotten.

Okay, yeah. Is this what you wanted? Did you want me to just go along with it? Yeah, I wasn't sure which way you'd go. I feel a bit yuck and I think there'll be people, there are always people who are big fans of this comedy podcast and don't understand that it's jokes. Yeah, that's true.

So there'll be that, which will be fun. What do you would just say now in a way that makes it very clear that you don't believe that? JK. Okay. That's what's at it. JK Rollins, that's where you get your beliefs from.

That's actually pretty good. Should I tell myself to do go on here? Please Dave. Love of God. Please Dave, tell yourself to do go on here? Please, Dave. Do go on. Love of God, dude. Please, Dave. Tell yourself to do go on. Do go on.

Despite this big clean up at the hospital and improvements in how it was run, people kept dying. What? During the war, cholera killed more people than the actual fighting, like way more, like nine to one or something. Whoa. In one winter, over four thousand people died at the hospital. Shit.

What's cholera? As in? I think you shit yourself a lot. Is that something the horses get? Oh no, colic. Is that a horse thing? That's babies. Babies. Baby horses?

What's wrong with us today? Dave's telling us about this very inspirational influential one. Oh no, you're really shitty on her. Well I said poo everywhere! No, sorry, that was me. I just felt upset that she got, she had, she was rich, but're really shitty on her. I said poo everywhere. No, sorry, that was me. I just felt upset that she got, she had, she was rich, but that's not her fault. But also David.

And she's done a lot of good. As feminists it would be weird for us to not shit on her because she's a woman. Yeah. We shit on everyone. It's true. Just like they did back in those days. Because we have cholera. Cholera, a bacterial disease causing severe dehydration and diarrhea, usually spread in water.

Right. And it's usually contaminated food or water. Awful. What a way to die, honestly. What a nasty, nasty stuff. Shit yourself to death. Isn't it weird that this place that was basically carpeted with shit would have these sort of hygiene issues?

Yes. That doesn't make any sense. But they cleaned it up and they were like, people are still dying. What's going on here? Genuinely, what you said before about burning the place down was probably the best. Oh, the way to get rid of it. Well, according to the BBC in the spring of 1855, which is this time, the British government sent out a sanitary commission to investigate

the conditions at Scutari, the hospital. It discovered the Barrick Hospital was built on a sewer. OK. Meaning patients were drinking contaminated water. Oh my god. That's... The hospital, along with other British Army hospitals, was flushed out and ventilation was improved. Consequently, the death rate began to fall. OK. There are reports that between this and Nightingale's involvement to clean it up meant

the mortality rate in the hospital fell from 42% to just 2%. Oh, wow. That's an improvement. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Please give me a moment, please. Like 35%. Yeah. What is it actually, Dave?

For rounding around? It's like 400% or something? 4000%. Yeah. Which one is it? I don't know. It's a lot, though, isn't it? It's a lot.

It's a lot. That's huge. And although this has been debated as a possible exaggeration, we do know she definitely did help clean it up. Yeah, because even the fact two percent death rate at a war hospital Sounds like would have to be up there with the best ever. Yeah, you would think so. Yeah, I think some people have come out and said, oh the government were lying about statistics to make it sound better than it was. And there's been a few investigations. I've seen so many different numbers.

Seven, I've seen. I saw 20. I remember once I saw a mailbox that had like a 14 on it. I've seen heaps of them. I've seen heaps of numbers. I've seen so many numbers. It's crazy. You name one, I've seen it.

I've seen so many numbers, I can't even count them. Yeah. It's uncountable. I can't, like, oh. Oh my god. You know, oh. I remember one year I saw 380, and that was, that was, I was like, whoa, they won't get bigger than that, but then I saw 410! I did the maths, and it was bigger! It was! It was bigger! Blew my mind! I could not believe it, seen a heap of them. Yeah, nah, seen heaps.

My life's pretty cool. I've got stuff going on. I have seen lots of stats and figures and a few people are like, she's not as good as history says, but she did improve it. That's all I can tell you. I think it is important for people to go back and go, you know, this inspirational person, which is not that inspirational. Don't be too inspired.

Hey, whoa. Are you thinking about helping people with your life because of her? Well, wait a second. It was, it's not 2%, you psycho. It was 2.5. Okay. You're worshipping a lie. So she did improve it, but her medical knowledge wasn't always right.

At this time, Florence Nightingale was an advocate of the miasma theory, which was that diseases were caused by bad air. That's the air or miasma was foul smelling and filled with particles of decomposed matter that could cause illnesses. Even though the miasma theory was disproved, it made the connection between dirtiness and diseases. Yeah. Encouraging cleanliness and bringing about public health reforms. And she later, because she lived quite a long time, got on board with the more modern germ theory. Yeah, because the germ theory obviously is real. But there's got to be something to like, bad smells do carry badness in them, right?

Yeah, we can't just get it just from, I think it's not from a bad smell. There has to be a germ in it. Right, right, right. It's not just like, like- Oh, it's a bit smelly out. Oh my gosh, we'll get sick. The ground is shit. Yeah, that, right. It's not just like, like. But you know, like the smell of the- Oh, it's a bit smelly out. Oh my gosh, we'll get sick, yeah. The ground is shit. Yeah, that would smell.

That's right. If you touch the germ, you will get sick. But if you just stay in your bed and you never touch the shit, but you just live with shit air nonstop, you can't get sick from that, is what you're saying? Not 100% sure because- I'm going to have to make a call. Because you get, I mean, if you're getting sterile water and everything delivered to you, maybe. Yeah, yeah.

Interesting. Having the poo on the floor, it's going to get into the water. Maybe I still believed in my as a pan. My as a pan. But obviously they're asked, airborne illnesses is obviously a thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But not all air.

It's not all air. Not all air. Not all air, which is something that Jess always says. Not all this, not all air. Not all air. Not all air, which is something that Jess always says. Not all this, not all that. She does a lot of those ones. Don't have to go into the details. So it was February of that same year, 1855, that the name Florence Nightingale took off. A cartoon portrait of the lady with the lamp tending to the sick whilst carrying her lamp featured in the Illustrated London News back home.

She was hailed by the press and the public as a hero. And the BBC describes it and then multiple other articles and drawings were made of it. Her family had to wade through a steady stream of poems posted to Florence. I'd prefer shit. Wading through poems. Oh, God. Give me the- Give me the shit to wade through. Which were the Victorian equivalent of fan mail and images of the lady of the lamp were printed on bags, mats and souvenirs. Wow. You can just imagine how bad some of those

odes and poems would have been, right? Oh, lady of the night. Oh not like that But obviously if you'd be up for that that's absolutely your choice as a person I support that of course But I'm quite open of the mind. I didn't mean to imply that you are if that's not what you want Oh my god, this letter writer definitely has different views and than Jess People gonna cancel me if you tell them the truth. The Nightingale Fund was established for the training of nurses during a public meeting to recognise Nightingale for her work in the war. And then there was an outpouring of generous donations to the Nightingale Fund. Her old friend, Sydney Herbert, that secretary of war served as the honorary secretary and Prince George, the Duke of Cambridge was the chairman. That's powerful.

That's a powerful throuple right there. Another throuple. So many throuples in this story. Many paintings were made of her and her nickname was further popularized by Henry Wadsworth Longfellowes. Henry Wadsworth Longfellowes. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's. Well, fellow, not plural. Fellow.

Fellow, but he's 1857 poem. And I'm going to give you some here, man. It's called Santa Filomena. And I love how it opens. Low! Low in that house of misery, a lady with a lamp I see, passed through the glimmering gloom and flit from room to room. That's nice.

That's really good. And that's- That's one of the better ones? The words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, who was a professional. Yes. Not just someone writing fan mail. Yeah, right. What a name.

Henry Wadsworth Fellow. Longfellow. Long, right. What a name. Henry Wadsworth Fellow. Long fellow. Long fellow. Even better. I'm pretty sure he was the guy who pulled himself up from, you know, his bootstraps or whatever, you know, he was a kid who probably grew up pretty rough and just worked hard before finally making it as a poet. Yeah.

That feels right to me. I think the system is pretty good like that. Yeah. You can, it's, you know, if you, England, especially back then, if you wanted to do it, you could achieve it just with a bit of hard work. That's right. Bit of elbow grease. Yes.

Which is something Jess often says off-pod as well is like, if people are doing it tough, it's their fault. They should be working harder. Work harder. Work harder. Get your ass up. I go by the Kim Kardashian mantra of nobody wants to work these days. Get your ass up. Get to work. Yeah. Like she does. Like she does. Yeah. We love you, Kim. Yeah, I agree with that as well.

Actually, I agree with everything Jess says. Wait, what? No! But no, no, but honestly, put yourself up by your bootstraps out there if you're doing it tough. Little joke, little joke. Dave, do go on. Okay, thank you so much.

I'm trying to tell you, she's suddenly very famous very quickly. Yeah, it's almost like she's a, she's a bit of a, uh, jonahvark type thing and that jonahvark was like a symbol. Yes very simple exactly representative of of a time and what was happening So almost like a spokesperson or like a but not really but you know what I mean like yeah Because obviously it's her and 38 other nurses working. Yeah, all very working very hard But she is I guess seen as in charge of the project and has quite a famous family name. So is now seen as like, oh my goodness, this person's doing great. And then the media have latched onto her and painted her in this sort of heroic.

I love that you can get merch of a nurse at war. That's so cool and weird. Mostly weird. So she was suddenly very famous, but early on was wary of this newfound fame as a heroine, as people were calling her, and returned to England under the name Miss Smith. Like she was finding it addictive. I don't understand the phrase. So a heroine with an E on the end there. Oh, so you didn't pronounce the E.

Heroiney. OK, sorry. Sorry. She had newfound fame as a hero-y. OK, sorry. Sorry, she was- she had- and you found fame as a heroin-y. OK, I thought, yeah, she found her fame as a heroine. Like, like a drug that makes you sort of, like, sleep a lot. Did she change her name to Miss Smith? Yeah, heroin makes you do weird shit. Oh yeah, for sure.

And you do anything together. You would change your name to Miss Smith. Whatever. Whatever. I'll go from a cool name to a really boring name, no problem. Whatever. Free heroin. The fear, like that whole fear of heroin and people saying it's like, it's bad, feeling stuff,

has got so into me that I had a dream last week, where I had like, given a heap of drugs. I'm like, yeah, this is gonna be so fun. Yes! Oh my god, sick, oh thank you. Thank you for this bag of drugs. I'm like, yeah, this is gonna be so fun. Thank you. Thank you for this bag of drugs. And I said, what is it? And he goes, heroin. I said, oh, I don't want it. You were so happy. I'm like, whoa, drugs. Free drugs. Wow. Oh, heroin. Oh, yuck. Even in your dreams, you're like, no, thank you. But that's the kind of dream you wake up and go, why don't I just do it in the dream? Yeah Have a go. It would have been interesting to see what my subconscious thought it would feel like Yeah, yeah

That's so funny What a weird dream Drugs! Yay! For me? What have I done to deserve such a- I don't think it would have been like a cartoonish bag that said drugs on it or something. You shouldn't have. Oh, I'm so excited.

Oh my god. I'm ready to take it. That was definitely you being set up by your narc self-consciousness. You would have been arrested in that dream. So she's back in England. The Treaty of Paris had ended the Crimean War in March 1856, and she had remained at the hospital until it was ready to close. So she stayed back at the war.

Yeah. She did overtime. Yeah. I'd actually like to stay at war a little longer. So something about her home life, right? She's afraid of someone else courting her. Like I've been at war with some nerd trying to propose to me again. Hello, would you like to go for a walk?

Oh no. No, I'm trying to go to war. Hello, would you like to go for a walk? Oh no! I'm trying to go to war. She returned home exhausted, but also sick, falling ill with Crimean fever. Which- Well that's why she can't leave. She loves it there.

I love it here. People now think it's probably the bacterial infection Brucellosis that you can get from consuming unpasteurised dairy. Oh my god. Brucellosis. I was thinking. Is this another dream? No, a vague memory I had.

I reckon I learned about it at a similar time in primary school. Learned about her and learned about Louis Pasteur. So I didn't realize they've not vaguely connected, but in time maybe similar times. He would be around at a similar time. Yeah, that's interesting. Because when you said that before, yeah, we started talking about it. I remember being in the library and hearing about her and hearing about Louis Pasteur and they were both in the news the day before.

Well, they would have been born around the same time. He's about two years older than she was. Oh, there you go. There you go. But at this time, Derry's not commonly pasteurized. Unfortunately, there was no treatment for brucellosis at this time and lingering effects of the disease were to last for 25 years. Holy, she got over them in 25 years though?

That's amazing. Yeah, that's right. But frequently she'd be confined to her bed because of chronic pain. Wow. And I looked up these- even if you get it these days, which is less common because of pasteurized milk, you still have to take at least six weeks of hardcore antibiotics. Shit, OK. And even then it can get severe and you might need to take a lot. So back then they didn't have any of that, so she was just- he would flare up and it

can recur for your whole life. Is this what inspires her to invent penicillin? Yes, no, that's Marie Curie. Who is it actually? Ian Fleming. Ian Fleming. Damien Fleming. Alexander Fleming. Alexander Fleming. Ian Fleming. Damian Fleming. Alexander Fleming.

Alexander Fleming. Ian Fleming, the writer of the James Bond. Well, this guy did a lot. People don't realise this, but he also- he came up with a different character, didn't he? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or something. That's true, he wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Oh yeah.

That guy's busy. Man, if people are not getting like us being stupid saying this would be a very frustrating episode. Also, I've got to give credit to Howard Florey, Australian man. Oh, he got involved in Penicillin? Yes. And there's another man too that I haven't looked at, I shouldn't look up. But anyway, can I just say, if any listeners have been annoyed by this episode, whatever's

been left in was the choice of AJ, our editor, not us. And that's to be held against AJ. He does not cut much of what you say I've been listening back. Have you? AJ, please look after me. When I'm being tedious, there's a few today. Like, genuinely cut him. It's because you think, I can say whatever and he'll cut it out, but he before was a fan of the show. He likes what you do. So of course he's leaving it in. He thinks you're great. He thinks you're great. He thinks you're great.

But even the dog shit stuff? Like, don't let all the dog shit through. Otherwise, we'll be up to our ankles in it and we'll all get sick. Feces everywhere. From the meiser pan. So, she's not well and would have recurring bouts of this illness forever. But this did not slow her down. She leveraged her newfound fame and influence.

She was plagued by what she had seen during the war and what she perceived as the unnecessary loss of life. She met one of her new biggest fans when she came back to England, Queen Victoria. Whoa. Which is pretty cool. The Queen presented Nightingale with a jewel to thank her for her work. And that's pretty funny. Have a jewel! Thank you, Queen's pretty funny. Have a jewel. Thank you, Queen.

Have a really- That's nice, Queen. Thanks, man. But in chance you could just, like, invest in a better system. Yeah. Well, with Victoria's backing, Nightingale persuaded the government to set up a royal commission into the health of the army. Florence herself had kept meticulous records regarding the running of the Barrick Hospital,

causes of illness and death, the efficiency of the nursing and medical staff, and the Royal Commission was based on the data that Florence had kept. I also like the efficiency of the staff. She's like, oh, bloody Jean. She was shocking. Oh, really? Like every single... No, no, no.

She was, was she? Just pushing people down. Jean had popped in for half an hour at the start of the day, half an hour at the end of the day, pretend she'd been there the whole time. Would she? Walk around with a lamp, poking people, waking them up. Just pushing people down to climb up. Is that how she got to the top?

This is from the BBC again. Leading statistician William Farr and John Sutherland of the Senateary Commission helped Florence analyze her vast amounts of complex army data. The truth she uncovered was shocking. 16,000 of the 18,000 deaths were not due to battle wounds, but from preventable diseases spread by poor sanitation. Whoa. 16 out of 18 deaths.

Whoa. And it's in the thousands. So she had all these stats and figures, but she knew she'd have to present them in a way that anyone could understand if they're actually going to have any impact. So she invented the Rose Diagram, also known as a Coxcomb, which is a round chart similar to a pie chart. And although she didn't invent the pie chart itself, that did exist already. She did popularise this way of displaying data.

And she's been described as a true pioneer in the graphical representation of statistics. Wow. That's like a very different area than what I was thinking. Totally. Yeah. She's like did a lot of like hands on stuff, but also. And then also came up with new ways to display the data. Yeah, amazing. Was it Coxcomb? Or Rose Diagram? I think that's a better word.

Rose Diagram? Than Coxcomb. Yeah, Coxcomb. What do you think when you hear coxcomb? It's a pubemannucura. It's a pubemaricuria. That was not any of the words I was trying to say, but pubes I think is right. You put the rest together yourselves.

I caught the gist of it. Yeah, yeah. Well, what are the words I would have said then? AJ can chop out the rest and you can just. A pub manicure? A pub. Just a pub comb. Yeah, pub brush.

Yeah, brush. Pub brush. Oh, you don't double up on. You don't want to double up. It's one of the rules of comedy, Dave. It's a pub brush. That's why you never made it. That's why you never made it.

I break all the rules. Rule of three. How about rule of one? I just say the punch line and then walk off. 48 bucks. Turn them off. Dad! Turn them off.

Oh, see you later. And I was on the bus the whole time. Anyway, thanks so much. Good night. The Rose diagram showed the sharp decrease in fatalities following the work of the sanitary commission. It fell by 99% in a single year. The diagram was easy to understand and it was widely republished and helped the public know

that urgent change was needed in the military. And change soon came. Because of Florence's work, new army medical sanitary science and statistic departments were established to improve health care. So the Royal Commission that she'd push for and then been involved with and then, like, really advertised that and worked out a way to communicate the data, change came quite quickly. Awesome.

She was like, she's kind of like a politician as well, right? Just- Yeah, she's also a great communicator and also extremely well connected. So, like, behind the scenes is also... I think it's one of the- Doing a bit of schmoozing to get, you know, to get change to happen. One of the great things about society of the last, you know, however long, is that if rich, powerful people care because of a personal connection,

something might be done about it. Yeah. I think that's good. That helps. But thankfully, rich people are often, well, let's just say it always, the nicest and most generous people. Yes. Because I mean how do you get rich if not by sharing your wealth?

Exactly. Share the love. In 1860 Nightingale used a substantial part of the funds raised for the Nightingale Fund to open the Nightingale School of Nursing at St. Thomas Hospital in London. She says a substantial amount. The rest she used on heroin. You know what she's like. You know what she's like.

Another order from Mrs. Smith, thanks. It was cheap back then. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah. I should say, like it must, it might sound like we're bashing the rich a bit today. I don't know. I want to let any of our wealthy listeners know that's not the case.

No. today. I want to let any of our wealthy listeners know that's not the case. No. And to prove that we don't hate you, we will accept a cash, a chunk of cash from you. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we accept your apology? Yeah. You know, I say 10% of your estate.

Yeah. For instance. A little do go on tithe. Yeah. And that's like- That'll- Yeah, a little tithe. That's between three people too, so 10%, that's nothing. 3. Yeah. And that's like. Yeah, a little tithe. That's between three people too. So 10 percent. That's nothing.

3.3. Yeah. What do you say about that 50 percent of our listeners are in the 1 percent? I think 50 percent are in the 1 percent. The other 50 percent are in the 99. So we have 100 percent of the market. Yeah. Of Earth.

That's pretty interesting. Yeah, we got to be, you know, we got both sides of the divide. Do you think we have any billionaire listeners? Let us know. Actually, probably not after 50% of our listeners are billionaires. After I recently said it should be capped at a billion and you should only be allowed to have three or four properties. They're probably, they're probably like, that was the first time I realized we had a radical communist on the point. I think capping at a billion.

All right, Commie. Geez, Lois. Look at her over here. We could end world hunger if everybody, if the billionaires just had one billion. Yeah, okay. Okay, go hug a whale, mate. So she opened a school. Right. Nursing school. Britannica writes, the school formalized secular nursing education, making nursing a viable

and respectable option for women who desired employment outside of the home. And this model was then taken worldwide. It's interesting to note that before this, nurses had not as much respect, had a lot less respect. Charles Dickens, who was writing it this time, another one of your contemporaries now. It's a big, big time. Big time. Big time was me, Dicko.

Mm hmm. Louis. Louis. Pasteur. Yeah, I called him, you gotta kick out of this, I called him, Louis Pasteur, I called him, I called him there, the farmyard, like past, put him out of pasture. Oh, that's fun. He liked that.

Yeah, that's good stuff. And yeah, and you know. Charles Dickens. Yeah, Dicko, yeah. Flo was there, obviously. Yeah, yeah, we got called her. Queen Vic. Called her the river Flo, but.

That is fun. And. You're good at nicknames. Queen Vic, yeah, we just called her the Madge. The Madge. That's good. That's nice. All hail the Madge we used to joke with her. Cause we didn't give it, you know, we like, cause outside the clubs we hung out in,

she was revered, but you know, we've, we've made sure to keep her feet on the ground. Yeah. She. Can we just turn down his microphone? Just fainting about. Oh no, it happened again. You let me go. You did that. How? You did it.

Unbelievable. Cut me off when you can see I'm gonna go on a bad tear. We're trying to turn the mic off. So, Charles Dickens is writing this time. He had a novel called Martin Chuzzlewit. Jesus Christ. Which... You couldn't have hit anything. It's not one of the more famous Dickens works, Martin Chuzzlewit. In the book, there's a famous character who's a nurse.

He panicked, did he? Chuzzlewit! Chuzzlewit! No, that's what I meant to say. He doubled down. Martin Chuzzlewit. In the book, there's a famous character called Sarah Gamp, who's a nurse. Sarah Gamp.

The lamp, the lady with the lamp, Sarah Gamp. Lady with the Gamp. She was incompetent, negligent, corrupt and an alcoholic, and she became a stereotype of untrained and incompetent nurses of the early Victorian era. That is before these reforms of Nightingale. became a stereotype of untrained and incompetent nurses of the early Victorian era, that is before these reforms of Nightingale. So the nursing profession had no real respect. Fascinating.

And that's the most famous nurse before Florence Nightingale. Yeah. Wow. She's like changed the whole reputation of an industry. Isn't that right? Because now, yeah, they're like consistently up towards the top most trusted profession. Oh, yeah, my goodness. Doctors are lower than nurses in terms of trust, which I find pretty funny.

Yeah, they're normally like right up the top, almost the very top. Yeah, yeah. That's funny to think of a time before that. I thought of as drunks. Obviously, most trusted profession is billionaire. Obviously. Yes, with good reason. In a very good profession.

They're the ones who you're going to trust with money. People with lots of it. I'm a professional billionaire. They don't have a user. Trump's argument to become president. Yeah. Wait for me. I mean, I'm a billionaire.

I know how to do this. All right. According to Caroline Worthington, director of the Florence Nightingale Museum, when she, Nightingale, started out, there was no such thing as nursing. The Dickens character, Sarah Gamp, who was more interested in drinking gin than looking after her patients, was only a mild exaggeration. Hospitals were places of last resort, where the floors were laid with straw to soak up the blood. Florence transformed nursing when she got back from Crimea. Holy shit.

She had access to people in high places and she used it to get things done. Florence was stubborn, opinionated and forthright, but she had to be those things in order to achieve all that she did. That's amazing. So sick. So it feels like she's very worthy of the reputation. And like, were there no- were hospitals worldwide kind of no good or were they- were these the first ones that took it seriously, like cleanliness and- I don't know about the taking the cleanliness seriously, but in terms of taking nursing seriously, yes, she's the first one because she also will help

revolutionise other hospitals too. Many of her statistical models and her basic concepts regarding nursing remain applicable today, and because of this, she is considered the foundational philosopher of modern nursing. That's amazing. And although she suffered from illness throughout the rest of her life, she was well off and could afford good health care, but she knew that many in Victorian London could not. So in 1859, she wrote a guidebook for people caring for loved ones

or neighbours at home, as she had done when she was growing up. And I love the title. It's called Notes on Nursing, colon, What it is and what it is not. Oh, that's important. It's not Notes on Nursing, colon, what it is and what it is not. Oh, that's important. It's not drinking gin. And it costs 20 squid, 20 quid a copy. She made a fortune. She killed it.

And that's how the rich stay rich. Yeah. The book served as the cornerstone of the curriculum at the Nightingale School and other nursing schools and has been in continuous publication ever since, with new additions coming out over the 165 years since it was published. Which is kind of amazing. And this is just one of over 200 books or pamphlets that she wrote during her lifetime. Holy shit. She's quite prolific.

She, you know, some people just- the work ethic where they really don't need much rest. Like, how do you-, like she genuinely probably was working these huge days in the war, getting up, doing it again, doing it again, doing it again. And then I've got about four hours of sleep. Before I do, I'm just going to write a quick pamphlet. Yeah. But look at what you can get done if you don't have one of those pesky husbands. Oh yeah.

You know? Or like a mortgage or rent or anything to worry about paying. Because you come from generational wealth. Any, doesn't any money worries at all really? Yeah. Yeah, look what you can get done. But still, like, she's- Oh, so cool.

It's just amazing. Yeah. I think, hopefully we have not tipped over to too much flippancy this week. I think we have. Okay. And I regret it a little. Well, I think we're over, look, it's over-correct. She is the greatest human to have ever lived.

I actually have a Florence Nightingale tattoo. Yeah. I'm going to go train as a nurse in her honor. Oh my God. And change the game again. Change it again. Change it back. Would you trust me more if I was a nurse?

Yeah. But would you be more of a Sarah Gamp or more of a Florence Nightingale? I'd be a happy medium. Yeah. If you... Okay. Let's say I'm a nurse. The Gamp with the lamp. I'm a happy medium. Yeah. If you- Okay, let's say- You'd be the GAMP with the lamp.

I'm a registered nurse, right? Okay. I work in hospitals. Okay. I've seen it all. You've got something on your dick. You're letting me look at it. It's amazing how quickly you went to- Dave, can I see your dick? So, are we at the hospital? Yeah. Is anyone else available?

No. I mean, if I'm really worried about it, Yeah. Is it anyone else available? No. I mean, if I'm really worried about it, yeah. Is Dave- and Dave- Thank you for trusting me, Dave. Like he's got something on his dick. Did you put it there, Jess? No. Like what- what is it on there?

Don't make this weird, man. I was just asking. I was picturing like a- like a really small squid. I was just asking if Dave trusted me. Or a leech. You just- You just misunderstood. Dave got it. You can say it. What are you saying is on it though? That's what we don't know, because I have to have a look at it.

It's something weird. I'm picturing like a little suctiony kind of alien or something. Is that what we're thinking? Yes, it's stuck on there. Get it off. Just get it off. It's like a... What are those things on the hull of a ship? Like a mollusk.

Yeah, some sort of mollusk. I've got a barnacle. A barnacle. A barnacle in my balls. Jess, I'm sorry that you're the only one here, but can you... Can you come back tomorrow? No, it needs to happen now. This is important.

Anyway, I was just checking. Absolutely, we trust you. More reforms and changes were established to the Nightingale Fund. A school for the education of midwives was established at King's College Hospital in 1862, and Nightingale also established training for district nursing and then introduced trained nurses into the workhouse system in Britain. There's a lot of people who are working in the workhouse. Kids, it's quite, quite a grim, you know, all that Dickensian sort of stuff.

And that was aimed at improving the health of the poor and vulnerable. So there'd be actual nurses at work to make sure the workers were at least not too ill treated. In the 1870s, Nightingale mentored Linda Richards, known as America's first trained nurse, and enabled her to return to the United States with adequate training and knowledge to establish high quality nursing schools herself. Wow. Richards went on to become a nursing pioneer in the US and in Japan. So she's also teaching other disciples to go away.

And does she continue to take a cut from them ongoing? Of course. I'm not sure of the business structure. I hope not. She's a savvy businesswoman. And I'll take 2% of everything you ever make. Many of her former students became head matrons at leading hospitals, including Lucy Osborne, regarded as the founder of Modern Nursing here in Australia. She was an English woman who came out to Sydney and then worked at hospitals there and did

the same thing, set it up and trained other people. Very cool. This is very different to the store. I don't know why I keep assuming it's going the way of Jess's episode about McDonald's where that guy's like, that's all just like dog eat dog stuff. But I assume that's what's happening here as well. They're franchising. Franchising nursing. And then you'll take that, but you obviously have to pay me a fee.

And they're burning rival hospitals to the ground. In 1883, Nightingale became the first recipient of the Royal Red Cross, which is not surprising as it is a military decoration for exceptional services in military nursing, which she of course pioneered. In 1904, she was appointed a Lady of Grace of the Order of St. John. So she's an LGSTJ. Love it. In 1907, she became the first woman to be awarded the Order of Merit,

which is quite an interesting award. I actually hadn't heard of it. Established in 1902 by Edward VII. Admission into the order remains the personal gift of its sovereigns. Currently, Edward VII's great-great-grandson, King Charles III, and is restricted to a maximum of 24 living recipients from the Commonwealth realms plus honorary members. So, at any one time, there can only be 24-

Interesting. Pointies. Wow. Current members include Sir David Attenborough, playedwright Sir Tom Stoppard, inventor of the internet Sir Tim Berners-Lee, artist David Hockney, Dyson vacuum magnate Sir James Dyson, and former Australian Prime Minister John Howard. What? He's in the 24. That's weird. Why is Johnny Howard in What? He's in the 24. That's weird.

Why is Johnny Howard in there? I mean, the Dyson guy, I understand. What? Did it have anything to do with him fighting hard for Australia to not become a republic, maybe? Little pat on the back. Thank you so much, Johnny. Thank you so much.

He was the one. Like, if they had bipartisan support, we probably wouldn't be in the monarchy anymore. But he he's like a staunch monarchist. Ah, interesting. Nurses still get a bit of respect. Nurse Dame Elizabeth Annion-Woo and a geneticist called Paul Nurse were two of the most recent appointees. That was a mix up.

He's a cleaner. Yeah, what? Paul Nurse. Me? Paul Nurse. Me? Paul Nurse. He's like, wow. Just play it cool, Paul. Play it cool.

He was just in usher. What? Yeah, King Charles is like, I love nurses. Here's the pro- Paul Nurse! So, there were two of the most recent six appointees on November 11th, 2022. King Charles awarded them, but his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, chose them in September, which is like in early September, which turns out to be just days before she died.

Wow. So, cop that Charles. Yeah, because he's like, gotta wait. She's like, oh, I gotta make my final choices. I get to have- so now he's got to wait for Attenborough and a few others. Well, I thought so. I thought so. But the new six takes the list only to 22. So they're actually currently two spots vacant.

Wow. Okay. Yeah, it's a maximum. Of the three. I think we should push for two. Okay. And then the two who get in there can later bring the other one in. Yeah, probably the two oldest here.

Which okay. And then the youngest, I guess. Okay. Yeah, regardless, it's me. The two. I think the two. Oh, Dave, you and I., yeah, regardless, it's me. I think the two or Dave, you and I, it's not regardless. It's you said the two oldest. Yeah, that's not a regardless. You know, she's gonna say that you're gonna have a pitch to.

Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, which pitch first shit for brains over here is going in. When I realized that that's you, I've got a new idea. You and me. Fuck Jess. That's my pitch. Yeah, big boy fest. Hey Chuck. Yeah, I wonder if Prince Charles is afraid of that. He feels like a bit of a soj.

I don't know. I'm going to push. I'm going to push for us. I love you, King. You be listening, King. Oh, he's definitely listening. I love you. Do you think he's ever listened to a podcast?

I'm a King King. I wonder. It'd be about something boring, I reckon. Yeah, can I imagine him doing Lost Gardening, maybe? Yeah. Gardening. Do you think he gardens? Yeah, he's a big gardener.

He talks to his plants, doesn't he? Yeah. Lost Gardening, does he? He's like, believes in plants can be, or something. Oh yeah, and the bees and shit. Are the bees him? Does he love bees? Somebody loved bees, didn't they?

Yeah, there's bees. When you were talking about telling the bees. Yeah, I think he might've been involved with the bees. Anyway. He's got the bees now. He's the bee's knees. I hate myself. Jess, that is something Jess often says off pod.

Prince Charles is the bee's knees. He's my hero. King Charles. You have some respect, please. What? What do you mean? Oh, no. What do you mean, King Charles? No, no, no, sorry. You're right. Prince. Prince Charles. Prince Charles. Yeah. Future King. Future King Charles. Yeah, OK.

Sorry. Because his mum can't be queen while he's still king. That would be weird. That would be really odd. That would be weird. Future King. Future King. Yeah. Who is the second wife?

Always be my queen. What you need to know is that Florence Nightingale was the first woman to be ordered the Order of Merit in 1907. In 1908, Florence Nightingale was given the honorary freedom of the city of London. And even though struck down with illness, she remained phenomenally productive in social reform. During her bedridden years, she also did pioneering work in the field of hospital planning and her work propagated quickly across Britain and the world.

She has so many awards and medals, it's wild. Oh, I've got a few more to read out too. Really? Is she wearing them all at once? Yeah. To wait. That's why she can't get out of bed. She should just be like, swaying. 60 kilos of medals. Sadly, though, all good things must come to an end.

And Florence Nightingale died peacefully in her sleep in her room at 10 South Street Mayfair in London on the 13th of August, 1910 at the age of 90. Oh, good innings. At Nightingale's prior request, her family declined the offer of a state funeral and burial at Westminster Abbey. Instead, she was honoured with a memorial service at St Paul's Cathedral, London. Her burial is in the family plot in St Margaret's Church, East Wello in Hampshire. As you've heard from me here, there's a lot of praise filled articles written about Florence Nightingale, but not everyone is so praise worth of her legacy.

And let's say here with the- I feel like we've already been on a roller coaster of you sort of getting on board. No, I'm all in. Overly on board. I'm all in now. And I always was. That was- we were just mucking about. Well, let's see how you feel about this.

She has a few critics of her perceived racism and active role in British colonialism, particularly as more of her writing has come to light. Dave, now, can I just quickly say I'm reserving... I'm reserving my right to judge. I think I might have been onto something early. She was a very religious person who came from a very conservative and wealthy upper class background. Nurse Journal writes, her beliefs and actions were highly influenced by the elite social circles her family belongs to.

She was, amongst many other jobs, she had so many jobs. She was a close adviser to the governor of New Zealand, Sir George Gray, during his second term in office from 1861 to 1868, during a time in which the Maori people were oppressed and attacked. Collected letters and reports she sent to Grey and others published in 2004, so long, not that long ago, revealed a hidden legacy. It is now known that Nightingale supported the alienation of Maori land in order to force migration to European settlements and to bring

contact with what she termed the inestimable blessings of Christian civilization. And she's also been found to be critical in her writings of the native peoples of both Canada and here in Australia. So to mark what would have been Nightingale's 200th birthday in 2020, the World Health Organization dubbed 2020 the year of the nurse and midwife. Obviously 2020 was overshadowed by a lot of other things. But nurses were busy, weren't they? Yes, they were very busy.

So was the World Health Organization. Yeah. But not everyone agreed with this celebration. According to Kroki Health Media, it was Nightingale's troubling role in colonization, which led the NZNO, which is the New Zealand Board of Directors, to decide that on International Nurses Day 2020, we'll be celebrating our Indigenous and homegrown nurses instead. So there has been some backlash against her perceived cultural canonisation and she's

been lauded all around the world, but a lot of people have been like, well, we found in her writing that she had some pretty awful views and also helped oppress a lot of people because she thought that they should be welcomed into quote unquote white Christian society. Yeah. And that is something that Jess so often quotes these writings saying that she thinks there may be something to it. I was just saying, I think I was born in the wrong era, you know, take me back to the mid 1800s where I'm not surprised at all somebody of her social standing

and skin colour had these kind of views, you know? That's right. So I couldn't not mention those things despite her other achievements. And despite her role in colonialism, which is no doubt that she absolutely had a big part of being a close friend or a friend of Queen Victoria, she has been and continues to be honoured around the world. Since 1965, International Nurses Day has been celebrated on her birthday, the 12th of May. May is National Nurses Month because Nightingale's birthday is in May.

The President of India honours nursing professionals with the National Florence Nightingale Award every year on International Nurses Day. Two years after her death, the International Committee of the Red Cross created the Florence Nightingale Medal given to excellent nurses every two years. The Nightingale Pledge is a modified version of the Hippocratic Oath, which nurses in the United States recite at their pinning ceremony at the end of training. Florence Nightingale's image appeared on the reverse of 10 pound banknotes issued by the Bank of England from 1975 to 1994.

Like as a miracle? Oh my God, here she is. Again? No, she's meant to be blank. by the Bank of England from 1975 to 1994. Like as a miracle? Oh my god, here she is. Again? No, she meant to be blank. And prior to 2002, other than female monarchs, she was the only woman whose image had ever adorned British paper currency. That's pretty cool. The centenary of her death in 2010, she also had a special two pound coin made with her image,

showing her taking a patient's pulse. Oh my goodness, there's so much more. In May 2010- Let me guess, the patient was white. Probably. Yeah, probably. In May 2010- Knew it. The Florence Nightingale Museum at St Thomas Hospital in London reopened to honour the 100th anniversary of Nightingale's death. It now houses more than 2000 artifacts commemorating

her life. As well as this museum, there's a number of hospitals named after it, as well as statues and memorials. She's been depicted in books, TV shows, movies, sketches, like I said, radio dramas, countless documentaries and biographies. There's a US Navy ship that's been named after her. So was an asteroid in 1981. Whoa. A Dutch KLM jumbo jet was also named after her.

She's huge. She's huge. She's massive. So many things being named after her. Finally, the BBC sums up her legacy. They're right. The headstrong girl with a well-documented shell collection had achieved so much in a field once deemed unsuitable for women of her class. Often a lone female voice appealing to the Victorian establishment, her skill for communication and mathematics helped overhaul army and civilian health care and saved thousands from a gruesome death. She shrewdly used her public mandate to urge governments into action in trining sanitation

and personal wellbeing in our health care culture. Florence Nightingale, the lady with the lamp. Wow. Other than nurse, I don't think I knew basically any of that. Wouldn't have even probably been able to tell you period of time, you know? Right, yeah, I don't think I would have necessarily been able to. Which I'm a bit ashamed about, but what a story. What a story, and often if you look her up, like it was a famous nurse and statistician.

Yeah, okay. I didn't, I read that and went, oh, I didn't know about that. No. Because she used mathematics and the display of data so powerfully to get change. Yeah, absolutely worth mentioning, you know, the modern criticism of her, for sure. It's not- you don't want to gloss over that. But yeah, as you're saying that, I'm like, this doesn't surprise me. Yes. You know, I'm not excusing- you know what I mean. I'm just sort of like, oh, yep, back then.

Of course they thought like that. And there is something about- again, not excusing anything, but when you grow up in a bit of a bubble, I'm sure that you do have, you know, you might be more likely to pick up some crook ideas. Yeah. It's a shame to like when she was travelling around, she didn't. Yeah. Open her mind up a little bit. But also there is someone, almost like people who really believe in Christianity and a god.

It makes sense that they'd be like, yeah, we're saving them by the, if it's good if people, which is obviously, it's an unhealthy way to think about the world. But if you did believe in like a god, that makes some sense to me that you would be like basically believing in missionary sort of stuff. I don't know. And you can totally go like, yeah, wow, I can see the work that she did at improving just the education of nursing. The impact you have on that.

That's undeniable, yeah. But we don't necessarily feel great about calling a hospital after her in this country. Yeah, so that's fine Yeah, thanks for what you did. But yeah, yeah, I totally get that like she's fully dead as well So like I don't even think she gives a shit. She doesn't give a shit She's gone. She's gone. She's fully dead or she's up in heaven going I knew exactly like my beliefs are right I wish ever and only people who believe like I do are up here. I wish I told more people. Yeah.

And we'll look like fools when we go to hell, but at least we'll have each other. Yeah, that's true. I have great comfort in that. That if heaven and hell are real and physical places, I'm not going to be alone. No. Don't you drag me down there with you. As if you're not going to hell. Oh, come on.

Come on. You know what you did. You know what you. As if you're not going to hell. Oh, come on. You know what you did. You know what you do every day, you little sinner. Yeah. I never. You know that thing on your cock? It's your hand, mate. Stop playing with it.

Jesus Christ. Dave, great story. Beautifully told. Love. These are the ones I think I probably am not as excited off the page for the biographies and that, compared to like, here's a mysterious crime or heist or something. Totally. And I always enjoy when I'm hearing it.

Same. Yes. And I think it's the same, they do seem to get slightly less downloads on our end too, than the ones with the prettier, you know, sexy action pack name. Which makes sense, because I mean, if we're feeling like that, it makes sense that our listeners are as well. But then every time we do one, I go, you know, there's a good story here. Yeah, absolutely. But that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show, did you know that?

What? Where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. Now if you want to get involved, go to patreon.com slash dogo on pod. And yeah, you can sign up on a bunch of different levels. There's all sorts of things you can get. There's now four bonus episodes a month on a certain level. I get to vote for topics. I don't know if Dave, did this one go to the vote?

Yes, absolutely. It did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was very close to because I was on the Sydney Sheinberg voting level. We've got two voting levels, one with which is most of the supporters and one which is a bit more exclusive, a bit higher tier. And with this one, I think it only won by three votes, two votes even. Oh wow. So like, if you jump on this level, you can actually change the outcome of the show and therefore history.

You have power. Exactly. Then, yeah, the four bonus episodes each month, including a mini report. Jess did one earlier this month, I think. Was it last month? I don't know. This month. But it was about the pizza funeral. Yep. Which is so much fun. One of our looser episodes

we've recorded in a while, I reckon. And now we're doing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, which is released monthly. So as well as the Brendan the Fraser podcast and another sort of a game or something we'll play. So, and you get the whole back catalog, there's 200 plus they're ready to be listened to if you sign up on a certain level. I forget which one it is. I think it's Fembert Cooper, but. Yes, that's true.

So there's a bunch of different things, but the first thing we normally talk about in this final section of the show, where we thank our great Patreon supporters, is people on the Sydney Schomburg level, they get involved in a thing called the fact quote or question section, which has a little jingle. Go somewhere like this.

Fact, quote or question. Oh, always remembers the thing. She always remembers the thing. Beautifully done. Love that quick harmonising. And the first one this week of four that I read out for the first time on the show, that's just to give myself an excuse for mispronouncing anything. Comes from Tess Chilcott. You also get to give yourself a title.

And Tess's title is President of Uncomfortableness During Pregnancy. Okay. It's an important role. An important job. Somebody has to do it. And El Presidente has a question writing, hey guys, how is you?

Good, thanks. Yeah, well, thank you. You're going great. Yeah, I'm pretty good too. Thank you so much. Thanks. Yeah. Well, thank you. Going great. Yeah, I'm pretty good too. Thank you so much. Just hanging out with my friends, having a good time. Tess goes on to say, Anywho, question slash winch awaits you. Love a winch.

Winch away, please. Unless it's at our expense. Yeah, don't winch at me. I can't handle it. So, because I always say if you ask a question, I'd love you to answer it if possible. Yeah. And Tess has done that. The question is, what is the most uncomfortable you have ever been in your life?

And here is... Do we think- What you're thinking on that? Maybe we'll know from the answer. Physical or like, oh my God, I want to get out of this situation. Or it's like, I'm trapped in a box and I need to go. I'm only going off the title of uncomfortableness during pregnancy. Oh, no, you're right. That could be either.

Can I touch your tummy? You know, I'm touching. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. It could be either. Let's find out from like 28 or 29 weeks pregnant. I've had bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome, meaning in both hands. I'm pretty much useless. I think it's physical, Dave.

Thank you. I get about two, maybe three good hours a day where I can get things done before I basically stop and stare at a wall. Jesus. Oh, mate. Or window or TV. It's good to have options, I suppose. It happens because the swelling from pregnancy puts too much pressure on the ligament that protects the nerve so it collapses onto the nerve and causes pain. Oh my god. The pain would be almost okay, annoying even, but I'm carrying a watermelon around my front and need my wrists and hands to get

up, use a keyboard, use a phone, even typing this is longer, taking longer than usual. Even playing The than usual. Oh. Even playing The Sims hurts. Oh no. So I can't even entertain myself that way. That's cruel. That's, that's too far. Yeah.

I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant. Oh. There is potentially another month or God forbid more left. I'm told it will magically disappear once I give birth. Anyway, thanks for listening, listening to me, Winge. Enjoy hearing how uncomfortable you felt. Thanks for the pod. It's been helping me through what has been frustrating.

And then I feel guilty for being frustrated. Mom guilt starts early. You're all amazing. Thank you. Oh Tess, that sounds awful. Cheers. Winge away, my friend. You absolutely deserve a Winge and we will listen.

Yeah, 36 plus weeks in. Hang in there. Yeah. And yeah, I don weeks in, hang in there. Yeah. And yeah, I don't think I could top that. No, I haven't been that uncomfortable, I don't think. I will say, most uncomfortable I've been, the most recent example, I don't know if I've told you guys, I got hit by a car. Oh my gosh.

Did I tell you that? It does ring a bell. Did I tell you that? Cracked a rib. Why'd you do that? That hurt. That was very uncomfortable. Getting in and out bell. I told you that cracked a rib. Why'd you do that? That hurt. That was very uncomfortable. Getting in and out of bed actually very hard.

That's painful. Yeah. Yeah. And ongoing as well. Yeah, it didn't stop for a while. And I imagine one of those things, it's like, you don't realise how often you're moving that part of your body, even with things that are like completely unconnected to what you think would be that section.

Literally getting in and out of bed was awful. Because any time your like core engages slightly, it would kill. Yeah, that's brutal. Yeah. I think in. Yeah, maybe surgeries. I've had a few surgeries that sucked. Yeah. But the funniest one, maybe it wasn't funny because I hated it. But when we did our Perth show the day we left,

waking up, I cricked my neck. Oh, and it was so I cricked my neck. Oh. And it was sore all week from memory. But yeah, when I was a teenager, I had an operation on one of my balls and it was like cut. It was cut into. You said balls. Funny. I'm sorry. No, I know. I used to be really bad at it, but.

Everything OK? Yeah, everything was OK, but like the pain afterwards was pretty incredible for quite a while. Again, you don't realize how often you use your balls. That's right. And he had no surgery last year. Yeah. Yeah, that was the surgery was just a check of the. There's only the left. There's only the left.

There's dust down there. It's empty. Oh my God. Do not resuscitate. Like, just, I think a pregnancy that goes great would probably be so difficult. So when there's complications and these symptoms you weren't even expecting when you're trying to get your head around, as a feminist, I think I can talk to this. Dave, I don't know if you've had any experiences around this recently. Oh my gosh, I can't. Oh, definitely with a pregnancy. I can talk to this. Dave, I don't know if you've had any experiences around this recently. Oh my gosh, I can't.

Oh, definitely with a pregnancy. I felt like every time something would happen with my wife, she'd be like, oh, I wonder if this is from pregnancy. Think of anything in the world, if you type in pregnancy symptoms next to it, you can write like, toes all falling blue, falling off and swapping from left foot to right foot.

Pregnancy, it was, a thing will come up on Health Direct saying, happens in 4% of pregnancies. No matter what crazy random symptom. It was a thing will come up on health direct saying, happens in 4% of pregnancy. No matter what crazy random symptom. It's wild. Which is so unfair. Yeah. And I completely feel for you. Looking it up, I guess it would be slightly reassuring

that you're like, oh, thank God it's vaguely normal. But still you'd be like, come on, what's next? Yeah, and there's the fact that as soon as you've had the baby, it's like, all fixed. That's crazy. That is amazing. So hang in there, Tess. So I could never compare to anything like that. And I've only, I've been fortunate so far to experience a lot of, a lot less discomfort

and pain than, I'd say even the most average person. But when I have had esophagus surgeries in the past. Oh man, yeah. Like it just hurts to swallow like all the way down for a couple of days. And that's only for two days, so I can't really complain at all. Yeah, no you still have a winch. But I had to pick something. Yes, it would be that.

To answer this question, I would say that is very uncomfortable. Dave, I'm going to let you complain about that. No worries. But yeah, definitely not comparing, not comparing. No, God no. Because that's not the level. We're not one-upping Tess here. No, we are.

I'm probably like to say- Dave wasn't trying to one-upper. I think he has. I think he has, but we weren't trying to. I'm succeeding. Good luck with everything. I hope it goes great. Yes. The next one comes from Sky, aka Caramel Donut and Habanero BLT.

That sounds interesting. Caramel and Habanero in a BLT. Bacon lettuce tomatoes in a BLT. I reckon that, I reckon, no, it was a Caramel and habanero in a BLT. Bacon, lettuce, tomatoes in a BLT. I reckon that, I reckon, no, it was a caramel donut, right? Yes. So it's two separate things. Thank God. Okay.

I was imagining it in one big thing. I was also picturing- One stacked sandwich. I was thinking the donut worked as the bun. You know what I mean? Right. Well, I could be wrong, but I'm seeing it as like a lunch and a dessert. Oh, I love that.

Okay. Uh, and, oh, this is fun. This is the first time, because you can call them anything. It used to be just fat quota question now. People do brags. They do suggestions. They do jokes, recipes, all sorts of stuff. Winge. They do anything.

This is the first time we've had one that is called list of words I don't like. Oh, have we had list of what I like before? I'm not sure. Yes. We've had like. That might have been, list of what I like before? I'm not sure. Yes. We've had like. That might have been, you might have been away, Matt.

Ah. If that doesn't ring a bell for you, but I'm not, yeah. Yeah, definitely. And that was fun. Yep. So Skye says, my- It might have even been Skye too. It was probably Skye.

My title is my breakfast order at Timmy's. There we go. Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons. I had to write it down so I don't forget it. So after the much beloved list of words I like. Yes. Here's some words I don't. Guzzle. Oh, I like guzzle.

Grandpa. Panties. Yeah. Okay, that's a bit, yeah. Fungus. Celiac. Okay. Asthma. Sure.

Distasteful. Yeah. So that's, that's interesting. I don't, it's so funny for you to ask us to, um, read out words you're not going to enjoy. Oh yeah. I didn't mind any of those to be honest. Panties I don't think is a good word. Nah, panties is a good word. Panties is a word I would never say. But it doesn't bother me that much.

I'm just looking back at the words. Yeah, the last, the popular words, like, well, liked words were fantastic. That was good fun. We enjoyed that. We were on the same page with those, I believe. But yeah, obviously everyone's different words. I can't even think of a word I don't like now. Classics are like, you know, moist. Yeah, it doesn't bother me.

But yeah, panties is in that sort of, I don't know why panties. I think I don't like a lot of words like, you know, like we say palma. Yeah. For some reason, palmi really great. Sounds so infantile. For a chicken parmigiana, down south in Australia, in Victoria anyway, we say palma. Yeah. But maybe up north in New South Wales and Queensland, at least they say palmi. Palmi. It's like kindy.

Yeah. Kindy. It's kinder. But they don't say par-me, Jan, they still say par-ma, Jan. Yeah. So I don't know. Anyway. It's just very childish. You want a little par-me? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Gummy kindy. Oh, I always hated growing up.

Now I'm going to kinder and I'm having a par-ma. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. So cute. I don't know why. I always hated growing up like Now I'm going to kinder and I'm having a parma. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. Thank you. I don't know why. I always hated growing up like Biccy, Telly, Choccy. Yeah, I don't like Choccy. You got to get some Choccy's. I hate wifey.

Oh yeah, wifey. Do you use wifey? I do not use wifey. I got friends who call their wives wifey. Oh, I better check with the wifey. Just say her name. I know her. I know her quite well.

Is it the wedding? I was the best man. I reckon you have to say. I used to date her. I was the best man. I was the best man. I was the best check with the wife. Oh man. Just say her name. I know her. I know her quite well. Is it the wedding? I was the best man. You just, I reckon you have to say. Oh, it's today though. You stole her from me. Wife or husband. I will never forget. Every time you say wifey.

It could have been me. It could have been my wifey. Should have been my wifey. I love you Susan. Susan, please. It's not too late. Leave this buffoon. But that's a good conversation to have. I'd like to hear in the Patreon group what are some other words you don't like.

that people don't like. Cause I'd like to compare. Cause I'm sure there's others that go yeah that is gross. I say telly so I don't know why that one's okay with me. That one's less annoying for me now I've grown up. Yeah. And I still just don't like really bicky or chalky. Nah, I wouldn't, I don't say it. Yeah.

Uh, great stuff from Sky, but I definitely agree with, I do like Guzzle. I love Guzzle. Guzzle's fun. Guzzle's fun. Um, all right. Thanks, Sky. The next one comes from Steven Edmonds, AKA sufferer of a Pavlovian response. And Steven's offering us a fact.

Interesting. I'll make it clear upfront that this is a dull fact. All right, Dave. Thank you. I'm going to tune out then. Wait, see what Dave says. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.

Steven, thank you so much for this opportunity. Quoting from the history page on the Mount Waverley secondary colleges website. Jess, is that local to you? Yep. Or it was. Local to you, but you didn't go to that school, did you? No, I know it well though. This is from the website.

Interesting to note that Mount Waverley high school was the first Victorian high school to make use of steel framed, lamin-x top tables and a bolstered chest. That's so dumb. That is so dumb. That's great. Imagine you're just scampering for anything to bang your hat on. That's so dumb. That is so dumb. That's great. Imagine you're just scampering for anything to hang your hat on.

What a claim to game. I will wager that they do not have an alumni section worth writing about. That's just the... That's in Victoria. Yeah. Often you'll get a dull effect like that in the southern hemisphere. Yes. This is just not even in like Australia.

Just one state. The second smallest state. Interesting to note. That would have been, you didn't go to that school then Dave? Matt Waverly? No. Oh no, that's not really near my area. Oh no, you were Eltham.

Sorry man. To go to Warrondart High School might sound slightly similar to Waverly. Yeah, Matt Waverly was close to us. We used to have waterboarding fights at the station. Right. But you two, you didn't ever live in that area, Dave. Why don't I think that? I just think of the Athloneast as one little spot. Because Dave lives with me now.

Oh, yes. Being kicked out of home. Sorry, are we not saying that on the part? That is not true. I love my house. His, Dave's wife's gone to stay with her mum and. Dad can't be left alone in his house. Oh my house. His, Dave's wife's gone to stay with her mum. And, um. Dad can't be left alone in his house.

Not sure either. Oh my gosh. So is this Mount Waverley Secondary College or something? And he did say, Steven said, why did this catch my eye? Because it was in 1966, which is the same year that, um, uh, Boston Celtics won a championship, uh, St. Kilda football club won a championship. Uh, the Chicago Bills was formed. Chicago Bulls even. The Bills. They started Football Club won a championship. The Chicago Bills was formed. Chicago Bulls even.

The Bills. They started the Bills. The Buffalo Bills. I love the Bills. And England won the World Cup in the men's soccer. Is this Mount Waverly Secondary College we're talking about? Sure is. Well, I can't believe I said they don't have any notable alumni because they've had

had Australian test cricketer Peter Hanscombe and also the great Paul rifle went there. Whoa. Pistol. Yes. Fantastic. As well as a bunch of footballers you might know, Taylor and Duman, Jeff Hogg. Jeff Hogg, goal kicker for the Lions and Tigers. Chris Knight, Brett Thornton. There you go. Jimma Legio. I don't know how to say that. Leggyowa from AFLW. Sorry, I can't believe I said that. I'm so sorry. Thank you so much, Stephen Edmonds. Last one this week comes from Piper Galaher.

Okay. Mr. Plow. That's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow. Right. And Piper has a suggestion writing, I'd do something other than suggestion one of these times, but I literally have the perfect taste and I don't want to withhold that from the world.

So here we are with yet another suggestion. This time I'm recommending a comic yawn called Something Is Killing The Children. The yawn was written in. All right, so that's quite, quite rude. The title can double as the beginning of the plot synopsis. So I'll just plug that in here. Something is killing the children in a smallish American town. There's obviously

a fair amount of intrigue around these events since ideally that isn't meant to be happening. The story follows the lone survivor of a group of friends who were killed by a monster that can't be seen by adults. Because of the creature's selective invisibility, the authorities are led to assign blame to the most obvious human suspects, such as relatives and friends of the victims until a mysterious woman with big eyes, a bandana with teeth on it and the surname Slaughter comes to town to hunt the monsters. A beautiful and genuinely horrifying story about secret societies, the frustration of not being taken seriously as a child and agonizing grief. PS, if you think comics

are for nerds, first of all, you're right. But secondly, it may be adapted to television soon. Thank you so much, Piper. Thank you, Piper. That sounds like a TV show I would watch and a comic book I wouldn't even know where to find. Where do you get comics? Probably online shops. The comic book shop. Comic book shop.

That makes sense. Thank you so much to Piper, Steve and Sky and Tess. Next thing we like to do is shout out to some of our other great Patreon supporters. Jess, do you normally come up with a bit of a game? That's true. What industry they changed. Oh, they've changed it completely. That's true. Um, what industry they changed. Oh, they've changed it completely. I love that.

I'll read out the name. Jess, you say the first part of the industry. Dave says the second part of the industry. Great. Here we go. Okay. I'd love to thank from Moe here in Victoria. Moccasins on everyone is what we used to call a bit of fun.

Loved hanging out in Moe. Moccasins on everyone. It was like, it's a, it's a bogan-y kind of town. Sure. And it's spelled M-O-E. So, it means, it stands for? That's right. Gotcha.

Oh, I understand now. But I used to have holidays with friends out in Moe, love Moe. From Moe, please. And thank you, Caitlin Powell. So, am I saying the industry- No, you're saying the first part of it. So, you know, an industry might be like, you could say any word and then Dave will turn into an industry.

You'll say like, shoo. And then he'll say repairman. Okay, shoo. Repairman. Do you think that maybe I just want to. All right, Dave, you read out the names. Man Jess will do it. No, you don't get it.

That's fine. I thought it would make more sense if Jess said the industry and I say how they've changed the game. All right, here we go. Does that make sense? So- Yep, go on. From Moe, Caitlin Powell. Shoe repairman industry. Well, shoes are no longer just for the feet.

Doubled this with their market. Wow. Shoes for the hands. Hand shoes. Hands shoes are going to repair them too. Yep. Hand shoes. I think he went to Mount Waverly High. From address unknown, can only shim from deep within the fortress of the moles. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes.

Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes.

Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes.

Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handshoes. Handsho wage. Now it will be two children inside. Ooh. Junior eight. Exactly. Double juniors still, less than seniors from Glenelg East in South Australia, please.

And thank you to Natalie Fragnito. Oh, great name. And Natalie actually revolutionized the traveling salesman industry. Traveling salesman and she's made it. Get this. This traveling salesman no longer travels. The customer now comes to you. She's built like a shop front, like a building that the traveling customer will travel to

to purchase the product. That's real. That's clever. That is clever. That's a game changer. Yeah. I love that. From Pile in Great Britain, it's Bob McBob. Bob McBob has changed fish and chip shops for over.

Fish and chip shops, because they're now doing pizza as well. Both well. Oh, well, yeah. And that's the first time they've ever done fish and chips and pizza well. Yeah, there's a few. Yeah, that's true. They're one well. They're both bad.

Yeah. But this time they're both good. Oh, that's great. That is a game changer. Game changer. Thank you so much, Bob McBob. From Bremerton, from Bremerton in Washington in the United States. Thank you, Dylan Long.

Dylan Long has changed the working lives of airline pilots. Airline pilots, you say? Commercial airlines, yeah. Okay. That's now two of them. But they're both children. You only have to pay them half the rate. But there's two, so if one goes down, you've still got the other child to rely on.

And they're good kids. It's like school captains and stuff like that. And by saving money on the wages of the pilots, therefore everybody's tickets are actually a bit cheaper. That's not happened at all. They've actually gone up somehow. Oh, okay. They're couching. They're couching us. Catch the catcher flight with QD Airlines or something. Okay, don't even joke because I would fucking- Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking here.

This is 12 year old Renee from Ringwood. I don't know how to fly a plane, but I'm going to have a lot of fun up here doing it. But I've got dimples. I've got a colouring sheet and I'm going to have a good time. Thank you, cross check and prepare the cabin for landing. Okay. And landing, I mean take off. Oh, I can't remember which is which.

Now, pushing the button for autopilot. Hopefully that takes care of everything. Over and out. That was little eight year old Renee from Ringwood. Twelve. You said twelve. Well, she lied. Oh my god, Renee.

From Willich in... Oh, Willich. Willich. Willich. From Willich. What you like. And great friend is James Horan. James Horan.

Horan, Horan. James Horan. James Horan. James Horan. James Horan. James Horan. James Horan. James Horan. From Willich in- Oh, Willich. Willich. Willich. From Willich. What you like. And great friend is James Horan. James Horan.

Horan, Horan. James is- Is that the business? No. The Horan's so nice. James has changed the biz, well, the accounting biz. Oh, the accounting biz. Instead of using numbers, they're now using words.

Okay. Some people are scared by numbers, but a lot of people know words. So instead of saying four or a single digit, now they're writing F-O-U-R. Oh, that's tedious. Yeah, but people understand, they're less scared of it. They're making accounting more accessible. Love that. One letter, well, multiple letters at a time.

That's beautiful work, James. From Moresville in North Carolina. Is this actually the state that had the first mini-golf? I don't think so. Really popularised it. Oh, this'll do. This'll do. I've heard of it. Fantastic spot. I think they also have blue fire trucks? In some- In one city.

Or some cities. Which makes sense because they have water things. Yeah, love it. It's from Moresville in North Carolina in the United States. Please, and thank you, Susan Cumberides. Susan actually made life better for CEOs. Oh, made life better for CEOs. And you know what they've done?

What? More money. Yes. made life better for CEOs. And you know what they've done? What? More money. Yes. Revolutionised it. Yeah. This happens. By allowing children to work. Exactly.

Yeah. And putting the airfares up. Yeah. And that makes more money for CEOs. Exactly. And happy CEO. Happy CEO. Happy CEO.

CEO. They're the most important and of course, trickle down to the others. That's right. Their happiness, not money. Susan's name could also be Susan Cambarides or Camp... Yeah. What do you reckon? Anyone want to have another go there?

I reckon Cambarides feels right. I like it. It's a great name. I like it a lot. From address unknown, can only assume from Deep within the fortress of the mole. Please and thank you, Melon. Which is actually a name that they've changed to later in life after they revolutionized the fruit picking industry. Mmm.

Ah, OK. And now they're using a small footstool to get to the higher bits of the fruit tree. Yeah. Before that, they were jumping. Yeah. And that hurts. And if they couldn't reach it, they were leaving them there. There were so many oranges up. Oh, so I can't get up there. I tartar on my tippy toes. Oh, I'm reaching a melon.

Which is how they got the nickname. And finally, from Lilydale in Tasmania here in Australia, it's Nom Blaschke. Oh, Nom. Nom. Nom changed the game for Hotelliers. Hotelliers everywhere. That's on a list of words I like. Yeah. Nom has actually got a great, revolutionary revolutionary idea and it's taking off actually in the Northern Hemisphere. Hopefully we'll see it soon in the Southern Hemisphere.

It's hotels, but on really big boats. Oh. So it's like a floating hotel. Okay. And then they've got roller coasters for some reason. Wait, like, like would there be restaurants in there or something? Restaurants, pools, an ice rink. On a big boat?

Entertainment. Must be a very big boat. Very big boat. I think potentially terrible for the environment, but a lovely fun way to have a holiday out on the seas. Cool. I mean all holidays are bad for the environment, Dave. It's been a buzzkill.

Either stay put. You're the biggest holidaier I know. You shut your mouth. Either stay put or shut up. Love a great holiday. Love cannot wait for the next one. On the C's thanks to Nom. Thank you so much to Nom, Melon, Susan, James, Dylan, Bob, Natalie, Matt and Caitlin.

The last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Tribute Club. We've got four this week and how does this work? I think Dave, you're in the best place to explain. Yeah, this is our, a hall of fame for people that have been on the shout out level or above for three consecutive years. We've already thanked them a few years ago for their support, but it's been ongoing. So to thank them again, we enshrined them by welcoming them into the DoGo One Triptych

Clubhouse, where you run on in. There's a, once you're inside, you can't leave, but why would you want to? Why would you want to? You get the tattoo and then you go straight to the bar, you get a fantastic drink, you go see some music, and then we've got all sorts of entertainment and Jess usually organizes some food or drink. Yeah, but the problem is this time the kitchen is actually flooded with about an inch of

shit. Oh no! We keep trying to tell people this is the best place in the world Jess. That's not, you could make anything. This is like when we talk about an old movie name and it could have been anything. This could be anything. It doesn't have to. Yeah but something having the ability to be anything doesn't mean it has to always be

good. That's just not attainable Matt. I'm just being honest being there are people are going to just going to be their first experience of the trip is gone. There's no shit. I wouldn't be drinking or anything this week. But if you'd like to, by all means, I'll get you anything you want. There's definitely no shit back here. OK, look, everyone, I'm going to bring on.

I've put it in some bottled water, OK, and bottled beers and bottled everything. And it's come from a really sanitary place. The you know, the place actually sanitize the sewage. And I don't think you can get any more sanitizing. I think it's safe, yeah. So, Dave, you've also normally book a band for the after party. Yes, you're never going to believe it. This week, I've booked Mike Oldfield to play all of Tubular Bells.

Yes, but acapella. Acapella. That's what I'm doing is not tubular bells. What's that? It's a jingle. Go again? Do do do do do do do do do do. That's co-hitting Cambria. Oh, it is too?

Wow, that's amazing. Well done. You knew what I didn't even know what I was doing. But that's... That's Mike Oldfield. Mike Oldfield will be hitting the stage, shieving the bells, but for the first time, completely acapella.

Whoa. Incredible work. Mike, take it away. I might join him on stage. Basically, the instruments didn't arrive, but that's okay. Dad's got that on vinyl, as I think probably like a hundred million people did. Yeah, my dad's got it on vinyl. It was a huge selling album.

Every dad. All dads got a vinyl. Are you even a dad? Yeah, you're not a dad. Show us your bells. You say you're a dad, show us your bells. Show us your bells then. I can show you my kids.

No. Oh, I see your bell. You could have got those kids from anywhere. Oh, I see those bells. Show us your bells. Show us your bell. I'm a bell. Well, I'm a bell.

I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I think I'd love everyone listening to this. I always see those bells. Show us your bells. Show us your bells. I'm a bell. Well, I'm a bell. I think I'd love everyone listening whose dad has tubular bells to get a poster photo with your dad and tubular bells.

Yeah. Hashtag dads bells. We'd love to see that going viral. I'll also enjoy it. Cause this will be in a few weeks when I won't remember this, but yeah. We're bringing in four people today. I'm on the door.

I've got the clipboard ready. I'm going to read out the name. Dave's up on stage. He's going to hype them up. Weak wordplay. I'm only saying that because it is, and people won't be disappointed when they hear what he says. Don't listen to him.

It's normally based on the name or the place. Jess sort of hypes up Dave. All right, we ready to go. Let's do it. Yes. All right, welcome in from Les and Los Angeles, La La Land itself in California. It's Emily Keene. I'm very Emily on this person. It's Emily Keene. I'm very Keene on this person. That's a joke. Thank you so much Emily Keene. You're the best.

Oh, apologies for the pronunciation, but from Enschkied in the Netherlands, it's Norscheerbooms. It's certainly not a snorskeabo because we would be we'd never be story Oh Man that's an amazing name from address unknown currently she from deep within the fortress of the moles, please welcome in It's Tim Hanson. I'm a Tim fan And finally from address unknown can only assume once again from deep within the fortress of moles, please welcome in Katie Tipton Here's a tip.

You gotta meet Katie. They're a delight. Welcome in Katie, Tim, Noor and Emily. Make yourselves at home. Please enjoy some of the bottled refreshments and get ready to hear acapella tubular bells. Hey, and if there's any dads out there, show us your bells. Show us your bells. Hashtag show us your bells. We want to see them.

We want to see them. I want a photo with you and your dad, or just the album. Or just your dad. Hashtag show us your bell. Or just your dad. If you don't live in the same house as your dad. Show us your bells, just your dad.

Just your dad. Yeah, actually just show us your dad. Show us your dad. But you get double points if they're holding Chibi the Bells. Yeah, that's reasonable. Hashtag show us your dad. Hashtag show us your bells. I, that's reasonable. Hashtag Shoshadad, hashtag Shoshabells.

I think we're being very reasonable. Okay. Okay. Look, if you would like to suggest a topic, do so, please. There's a link in the show notes and also on our website, which is dougonpod.com. And you can find us on social media at dougonpod as well. Davy boy, boot this baby home. We will be back next week with another episode.

That is our pledge to Dibbit until then. Also, thank you so much for listening and goodbye!