Do Go On - 458 - Doctor Who

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

Michelle Brasier drops in to tell us about the long and storied history of Doctor Who. From William Hartnell to Ncuti Gatwa, we hear how everyone's favourite Time Lord has developed over time. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 13:14 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ See Michelle perform Legacy in Edinburgh: https://tickets.gildedballoon.co.uk/event/14:5184/Pre order Michelle's book: https://lnk.to/MyBrothersAshes Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and, as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. Hey, Dave, how's it going?

Jess, good to see you. I'm going very well, thank you for asking. Matt and I are fighting again. What's happened now? I love is Tiff. Let's not get into it. We realize we've known each other for 10 years and we've never kissed. None of us have ever kissed.

What's happening? What? Jess, you've never kissed me. Let's not bring that on to the podcast. But I think odds are. at one point, our lips would have just met. Exactly. The three of us.

We've shared spaghetti so many times and we've never accidentally breaks at the last second. Yeah. And we're like, oh, damn it's a million monkeys are topping up, they'll eventually kiss. You know? Exactly. Chances are. I know, it's crazy. So it's weird.

Anyway, maybe by the end of the year. Maybe by the end of the year. Maybe that's a goal. Oh, wow. Fantastic. Well, this week we are joined by a very special guest, a great friend of the podcast. And I don't know. Have any of us ever kissed her?

Let's find out. It's Michelle Brazier. I have kissed all of you. It's true. Who was the best? Best kisser is Jess. Correct. What?

But smoothest lips go to Dave. Yeah. And Biggest beard goes to Matt. That's true. And that's on exfoliation. Then I appreciate that. I'm so sorry, Dave, that you had to hear that about... Biggest beard.

My beard bit bigger than yours. I can't believe it. I didn't want to say it, but you guys pushed me. Yeah. I felt pushed into that. That's only because I've had a recent trim, but this time last week you just should You should have seen me. It was a bush ranger.

Oh, yeah. I'd like to see you as a bush ranger. Me too. I'd be called the something kid, wouldn't I? Oh, yeah. Absolutely, yes. The bush ranger kid. The clean-shaven kid.

I've got to be it, goddamn. That's what it says on all the boasts is. One description. Clean-shaven. Oh, no. I've got a stubble. There's some sort of growth there. What is there?

A four-year growth at this point? It's pretty good. Possly five. Looking fantastic. I'm very proud of you. It means you'll keep your head hair. Is that true? Is that true?

You have a shit beard. Testosterone is responsible for beard. It's also responsible for losing your hair. Oh my God. I'm sure there's other things at play. I'm obviously not a scientist. What? I know.

I should have said this before. I don't know if it's true. I think you are a scientist. Okay. Well, I'm not a hair scientist. Okay. Specific like this isn't my field of research in academia, which is what I do for a job. But I, science,

I think is testosterone. I think it's testosterone. That's interesting. It's like an overflow. What? No, I'm loving the science, but I'm just wondering if any new listeners have landed here. Oh. You, Michelle, have listened to this show before.

So I think maybe you'd be in a great position to explain how it works. Oh, okay. All right. Well, every week, the four of us gather. So, Jess, Matt and Dave gather, and one of them goes away and writes a report on a topic suggested often by one of our glorious Patreon. We love them all of us financially, all four of us equally. And they will say, hey, we want to hear a report on Matt's Big Beard.

And then one of us will go away and write Matt's Big Beard report. And then the others listen quietly and sometimes throw the occasional bar. Only occasionally. Yeah. It's a rare bar. Yeah. And sometimes there's guests. That's my nan's name, Rare Barb.

It's not true. No, it's Dorothy. That's pretty good, though. That's a rare bar. Dorothy is the rare bar of all. Like the headline that you just read, Jess. I took a screenshot because I was like, surely somebody will complain about that and they'll change it,

so I need to get this. It was a news.com.com. The headline was grandma drowns, comma, no one helps her. It's so sad. It's so awful. It's also like a lyric or a poem. Grandma does. No one helps her.

Yeah, it was a. They know what they're doing. Yeah, it was. eye-catching for sure. Yeah, anyway. A rare barb lost. But you explained that. I hope that wasn't Barb. No, God, I hope not. We'll have to take that out. I don't think it was. Her generation, barbs weren't that rare. Yeah, it was a very common barb. You can have a grandma who's quite young though now. You can have a grandma in her 50s. I couldn't. I couldn't. Where do I get them? If you want one, you can get one. You can get them down the shops. We don't gilfs.

We don't gilfs. They do, they do grandmas. Pet barn. They do grandmas. Pet barn. Well, that's a different thing. Not a gulf. Do you get them from the ass? Do you get them from the The adult grandma shop. The adult grandma shop, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pet barn, that's a different kind of grandma. Yeah. Come on down to Pet Barn for a different kind of grandma.

That's nice. That's nice. Started weird, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We nearly explained what the show was, Michelle. You're doing a great job there. Is there anything else you needed to say? I think she nailed it.

People suggest the topic, as you said, blah, blah, blah. Oh, we always start with a question. Yes. Yes. And it is your turn to report this week, Michelle. So you have a question? I have a question. Question. Which television series first aired the day after JFK's assassination?

Neighbors. Who did it? Was it the news about JFKitt? The news. Okay, so you've got me on technicality there. It was the news and today my report is on the news. Love it. Are you going to cover Grandma drowns?

No one helps? That's why I brought it in. It was a little taster. Guys, it's Doctor Who. Who? Who? A bit of fun. Okay, Dr Who, I haven't watched it.

At all? No, I haven't actually. Okay. But I feel like I know bits and pieces just through other media and stuff like that. Yes. Are we heading towards another five-hour Fast and the Furious? No. The Doctor Who is huge.

Like it's been around for a long time. How many doctors have there been? 12, 13? There's a bit, we're going to find out. Listen, we, yesterday I got a text message from Jess. It said, hey, just a heads up. We've got to be done by 4.30. We're starting at 1.

We've got to be done at 4.30. Because, you know, that's just the way. I know it's a big topic, but please don't, please don't write another four hours. That wasn't from all of us either. She did that without. Yeah, yeah. Because we've got nothing but time. That was just just not wanting to hang out with it for too long.

Yeah, there's a made up number. That's a made up number, is it? There isn't even an hour. Well, is that. Well, I also thought at the time of recording, it's, you know, we're heading towards your birthday weekend. It is my birthday weekend. And I didn't want you to be spending days and days on this, you know?

I appreciate that. I was looking after you. And me. But are you yourself a big doctor who? fan, a hoovian. I'm a hoovian. I know, you wouldn't think it to look at me. No.

Do you think, whoa, that girl, who is that, Margaret Robby? Yes. She seems, wow, like a, like a cool girl. Margaret Robby's cousin, just for anybody. Yeah, but I'm actually a nerd, guys. What? Yeah, I'm so embarrassed. Wait, nerds can be hot.

No, it's going to be hot. I don't know. I just like, that nerd stuff. I don't know, it's crazy. What other nerd stuff are you into? Um, book. What? Yes.

It's crazy. Okay, that is actually pretty crazy. I'm also a little bit of a nerd. What? And also very hot. What? That's going to be ugly? Very hot.

Hot. And with a big beard. Your hot biggest beard, yeah. I don't think you watch Dr. Hoot Matt? I've seen the scene where Van Gogh sees his own paintings online a few times up a lot, doesn't it? On Facebook all the time. And I've seen one about who's the Dickensian guy? Charles chickens.

Yes. I've seen the episode where he's in it, which I think was maybe from the last, you know, 30 years. Yeah, Charles Dickens was in it. Maybe 10 years ago or something. Yeah. And no, but as a kid, I saw a bits of it. I think it was on After the Goodies or something and I saw a bit of a...

Of the old one? Yeah, it was an old one. I'm like, this looks shit. It looked so bad, you know, the era where it was like colanders and stuff. It's kind of janky. That's the one that I watched. I love that one because my granddad was a big fan. And he had a videotape

Now in his 50s. My favorite He's amazing, very young man. He had a videotape of a movie that they made called the five doctors where the first five of them had got together except the first one,

William Hartnell because he was dead and they had a look-a-like. Oh. And I would watch that. That was like my sick at home movie. Oh, yeah. So I watched that like a hundred times. Wow.

But you didn't get into the new one. Oh, and I have seen the new one. Yeah, I saw the Christopher Eccleston and then David Tennant, but I haven't gone on from those. Okay. You've seen nearly all of it by the seven. Well, there's been about seven of them since then.

There's four million. When William Hartnell died, so they've had a few people, like people play him. And you know Filch from Harry Potter? Yes. Fellow millennials? Yes. You know, Philch? Yes.

So the groundskeeper guy. The guy with a cat. Yeah. He's got a name. He's a great character actor. No, that's Mad Eye Mooney. They're a different guy. Different guy.

Anyway, he played William Hartnell. There you go. I wonder who played him in this 80s one. And for the record, my favorite is number two, Patrick Troughton. Okay. Really? That's your favorite dog? Is the groundskeeper Hagrid?

No. We're going in a different direction. I don't think. I don't remember a groundskeeper. But I have seen those films. Well, he wasn't a groundskeeper, was he? He kind of managed the building kind of thing. Yeah, he was a caretaker.

Yeah, he has long hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's killed my cat. He's in lots of stuff. He's real good. He's really good. Yeah, he's really good actor. And I should know his name, but I don't.

But it is in here, so I'll pretend like I knew it. He was a doctor? Well, yes. Yeah, he was. Whoa. Oh, Tom Brady, Tom Hart, Tom, there was a Tom as well. Tom Baker. Tom Brady.

The jock doctor. Jock Doctor. Actually, that reminds me we're going to make a call. I'm jock doctor. I don't think Jock Doctor is a good business name. Jock Doctor. It says it what it is. It sounds like a powder you put in your itchy nuts.

I'm sure it exists. Jock Doctor. Can I kidding at me a sashay of Jock Doctor? Yeah, while you're at the shops. Yeah. I think it's good. All right, I'm going to start my report. You guys, this is an enormous topic.

Okay? I know that, but I'm just going to give you an overview of kind of what happens, a bit of the history. It's not going to be fast and furious, I promise. It's probably a good introduction for people who don't know anything about Doctor Who. Yes. Because I reckon I would be interested, but it seems so daunting because there's such a history. Exactly. That's too much for me to start watching.

Yeah, I should put a disclaimer in here. I did not watch the old one. Yeah. Due to my extreme youth. Yes, you're very, very young. And you're turning 21 this weekend. I'm turning 21 this weekend. I can't wait.

I cannot wait. But yeah, I am, as I said, like, I'm a hot girl. So coming out as a Doctor Who fan is like quite, that's quite, that's very brave for me. This is a bit risky for your career. Yeah, but I'm just here to kind of encourage all the hotties out there to get into the doctor because I really like Doctor Who. I think it's great. Or Doctor Who. So you're talking about Jock Doctor again.

Jock Doctor. Yeah. Sorry, when I'm talking, when I say the doctor, I mean Jock Doctor. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Thank you. But I'm always going to think you're saying like get into the GP, make an appointment with your doctor. Yeah, great. Good to check in.

All of these things. I mean all of these. Okay, great. Even if you feel quite well, there could be something. You should go in because... Then you can pay 80 something dollars and that's good for them to say... You'll get 25 cents back on Medicare. They say, why are you here and you say, I don't know.

Actually, there's something happens subliminal messaging. Michelle, at a risk of doing another tedious tangent. Yes. We're talking about... Where's Doctor Who from? The UK? From the UK. Are you about to go there?

I am about to go to the UK, Matt. Well done. Thank you so much. I'm about to go and do an Edinburgh Fringe season. My 10th. What? Fringe. Wow.

Yes. I just did a tour of the UK and I noticed a lot of the press was like, Edinburgh favorite, Edinburgh legend, Edinburgh. And I was like, oh yeah, I do keep coming. Wow. Wow. I didn't know. And you were listening these things.

Yeah. No, I wasn't in that. I just saw those things. But yeah, isn't that mad? That's mad. You've been going since you were 11 years old. I've been going since I was 11 years old. I think I met you, maybe that's where I met you at your second one then.

Maybe. I was there briefly in 2014. and I think I met you at your house. Wow. At my house in Marchmont? Yeah, I think so. We had a house party. It was a really great house party.

Auntie Donna did the backwards anirac show. And Backwards Anorak did the Auntie Donna show. And Leo, our friend, locked himself in the toilet because he was upset because someone famous had died. Robin Williams had passed away. And he was so upset and quite drunk. And so he locked himself in the bathroom and we only had one bathroom and that ended the party. Robin Williams.

That's all what to answer for. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good party. Good party. I'm really proud of that party. I think about that party, I go, you didn't even live in that city and you hosted a really great party.

Really a good house party. Well, you should have got a second bathroom, but apart from that, you did really good. We'll back that up this year. I'll back it up. Do a 10 year anniversary of that great house party. That great house party. I think that's reasonable. Bring back all the same guests, all the same.

Okay, there was a weird Christian man there that we didn't know. Oh, that was me. He was just there to preach. It was really, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the beard was good, good beard. Thank you. Sorry, that was Jesus. All right, guys, there are 26 seasons on BBC.

There's a bunch of specials. There's like audio adventures. There are books. There are a lot of explorations, spin-offs of the Who universe. I'm just going to focus on the television program, okay? So if you don't know what Doctor Who is at all, Dr Who is a long-running British TV series, 1963, it started, about a person called the doctor, except it's not a person, it's a time lord from the planet

Galifrey. They're the last, and listen, I don't like space. So just keep that in mind. Wow. They're the last of the time lords, apart from their big bed, sometimes sexy frenemy, the master. The doctor travels through time and space in the spaceship called the TARDIS, time and relative dimension in space, which is shaped like a police box from 1963. You've probably seen the blue box.

You've seen the blue box? Yes. The law on the spaceship is like, it's supposed to change to blend. into its surroundings. It has a thing called the chameleon circuit or something. And it got stuck in 1963 and never changed, making it the iconic books we know I'm love today and saving the BBC a lot of money on its budget. Do you think they planned that originally?

Yes. It wasn't like, because the first season is 1963. So it was like whatever was around. Yeah, they're like, no, I just got stuck in this. All right, we've got no money. It's still 1963. Yeah. But what was the point of those police boxes?

I don't know. I think they had a phone in them. You could go in and call the police. It'd be pretty funny if it was just a police officer just standing in there. It's just always ready to go. Yeah. I think if that's what it was. You just go get your police officer.

Yeah. And of course, in England a police officer is just a person. I don't have a gun. Yeah. He's like, hey, I need a bit of backup. I need a second person. It's a man in a box. It's Paddington beer.

Yeah. Can you help me carry this? Yeah, yeah, of course. It's just a person. It's just a person. It's Hugh Grant. Yeah. It's Hugh Grant.

Oh, my friends saw Hugh Grant. He's been in a, he. Didn't he get into a bit of trouble being inside like a box or something? Oh, probably. Do you mean she got his wife? Is that what you're referring to? I don't know. I don't know what he did.

But not him. That wasn't him? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Your friend. My friend saw Hugh Grant at a waitrose buying too many bottles of PIMs. Isn't that the most British thing?

I love that. You've heard in your entire. I was like, fuck yeah, that rules. Anyway, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside because the inside is in a different dimension to the outside. Something. Science. Science fiction, something, something. Makes sense.

But it's bigger on the inside. That's what everyone says. Everyone goes in, they go, whoa, it's bigger on the inside. Isn't that like, oh my God, there's so much room here. It's a bit like the bus in the Spice World movie. It's exactly like, I think it's the same technology. I think it's the same tech. Great.

It's a bit like the Holden Barina. It's a zippy little number. A lot more room on the inside than you'd realize. But get you from A to B. That's right. Yes. Yes. And stuck in 1963.

It's like the tents at the, in Harry Potter. when they go to like the Quidditch Cup or something? Yeah, it looks like a normal tent and then you walk in and it's got like a full living room and it's like the caravan in loaded weapon which is spoofing lethal weapon and the Mel Gibson character

maybe is Emilio Westerves and he goes inside his caravan and it's like a palace inside very funny. That's good stuff. Okay, great. I think we've covered all bases there with our fan base. So I've been saying they for the doctor So the doctor has no fixed gender. So I'm just going to use all pronouns.

I'm going to use the big three. She, he, they. Yep. It's the doctor. Okay, because they have different genders at different times. The doctor loves meddling in people's lives and saving worlds. Kind of like Jess. What?

Yeah. Kind of a gossip. Yeah, you're really good luck. Yeah. I was trying to help. Keep your nose out of it. What? I just told your wife where your secret stash was.

Yeah, and you ruined everything. What that? What kind of stash? Porn and cash. Oh, cash stash. Pawn drawn on cash One stash he doesn't have the The ma

What is this? What am I rubbing? Oh my God, David, please He's a podcast Dundra The show sees the doctor Travel through Space and Time We get some real treats

In Earth's history because we go back We spend a lot of time on Earth The Doctor loves Earth So we have an episode Where the Doctor meets William Shakespeare The Vincent Van Gogh episode Rosa Parks Mary Shelley on the eve that she's about to write Frankenstein.

Nicola Tesla, which I got to go on Hoovians with Australian icon Rove and talk about that episode, which is very fun. Madame de Pompadour, a famous cortis-on, which is like a very Bridgetan vibe episode. Great. Dave will love that. You skipped over that Hoovians thing a bit. There wasn't a show in Australia for a while. Called Hovians.

On ABC. A recap show on like proper mainstream TV. Yeah, comedy recap. After Doctor Who, it was a show. on ABC. It's good. Hosted by Rove McMahonis. Love it. A recap show. Hey, the thing you just watched, let me tell you what happened. Yeah, it was fun. I was on it twice. I had a great time. That's great. They have a tartis there. That's why there's that Tartis in Sydney, ABC.

Oh. That makes sense. Or perhaps it's coincidental, but it was in there. It was on the set. There was like, it's like, Talking Dead was a show after Walking Dead, and I've not seen either of those, but is it like that? It's like that. That's a fact, is it? But yeah, there's heaps of fun characters and time periods to play with, as well as different planets and galaxies to explore. There's no limits. There's no limits, which is, you know, traditionally kind of a problem in things if you don't set a limit.

But I think the Doctor Who handles it really well. But it's very fun. All the places and times we get to see, the doctor travels with a companion. Or sometimes there is like a few companions, maybe one core companion who's like their real partner in crime. But like there's sometimes as a group. Traditionally, a beautiful young woman with brains and skills. the doctor may be like lacks or needs,

things that she can do that he's like, well, even though I'm a genius, like that's kind of the general traditional vibe. But in the more recent series, we've had male companions as well. Jody Whitaker's doctor had a whole gang of three. One of them was like a guy who I think used to host like some game show on British TV show on British TV.

And then they're like, now you're a doctor companion, which is, you know, really fun. Can I just jump in? Yeah. What's the minimum number of, people that can be considered a gang. Because that was three. Four.

Three? Because I was just wondering if we could be a podcast but also a gang. I think we could be a gang of three, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, gang of youths. Do you want to do some crime? Oh, we have to do crime gang.

Oh, do you want to like fight some crime. Oh, yeah, you can fight crime. You can be a crime fighting gang. Yeah. Or you can just see crime. You can be a crime scene. Do you want to see some crime? We're a pretty passive gang, I think.

Yeah. Crime witnesses. Do you guys want to hang out and watch a movie or something? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But we'll say it's like gang time. Yeah, yeah. That sounds good to me.

All right, guys, gang time. So, I mean, you're going to explain this, aren't you? Yes. It's just, is it, it's one person they evolve in or another person or something when they get recast? Is it the same for the sidekick? No, it's not. It's not, it's always a different person. Right.

They're not even, they're not pretending that they're just a reincarnation of the same thing. No, it's always a different person. So the doctor picks up lots of different friends. Some of them come back. Is a companion always human? Companion's always, oh. So he has, the doctor had a robot dog called K9 at one point, which is very cute. And yeah, there are some friends that aren't human, but mostly it's like a human from Earth.

Yeah, cool. That he's, they're just into it. Yeah. He can go anywhere and it keeps. Always Earth. I'm like, grow up. Do you know what I mean? Travel a little, you know.

See the world. Yeah. But, you know. See the universe. Yeah. I happen. I'm always saying that. there's heaps.

But Jody also had, like, a lot of the time there's, like, a bit of a romantic interest between the doctor and their, like, Mane Companion and Jody Whitaker, even though she had that gang, she also, like, there was a beautiful woman at the centre of it all who was also in love with the doctor, so she also had that romance with the beautiful young woman. Always like a will, she won't she sort of thing? Or is it always just a they will, definitely? No, it's always like, well, they won't they and they hardly ever do. Right.

In fact, they're, they kind of, it's a real tease. Well, it was a family show. But yeah, typically being in the love with the doctor is a bad idea because they will hurt you due to your mortality and their extreme lack of ever aging or dying. But they definitely have a type. They're always into smart earth people. That's their kink. Cool. And I respect that.

But yes, as I said, the time lord, they regenerate when they die. I just too confidently said, I get that. Oh, yeah. I love it. Oh, yeah. That's my kink. 100%. I think nearly everyone I've ever crushed on was from Earth.

Oh, shit. I haven't thought about that. I guess. It's funny, you don't put together the dots and then you're like, oh, fuck, like every single person. No, because in primary school, I'm not a predator? Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I keep going for earthlings. Do you know what I have a, yeah, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it a bad kind of preference? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or no. I think you are.

It's good to examine. Like, just have a look at yourself and go, okay. In primary school, I had a crush on a boy called Trent and I can't remember for sure if he was human. Trent, that sounds alien to me. Trent. Trent.

Trent. What could have been? Yeah. Oh, God. I had a big thing for Widget the World Watcher at one point. And I'm pretty sure widget is a cartoon alien who can change forms. Okay. But one of those forms is Earth.

Oh. And that's probably the appeal for you, isn't it? Yeah. Sometimes that's a gateway into new different things, things you aren't traditionally brought up to be attracted to. Because that's the thing. It can be a cultural thing as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not entirely our fault.

No, it's not entirely. And it never will be and it never is. Never will. How do we feel about the age gap? If the doctor's like 5,000 years old. This is not what I talk about. And you're 35. Is that a bit weird?

Yeah, I think it is weird. They've got so much experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But usually, especially in the 35-year-old. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like they don't even have two frontal cortex. Oh, that's the other thing. The doctor has two hearts.

Okay. That's important to know. Oh, because did that happen when they killed him off and had to bring him back? Oh, no, that's because it got shot in his other heart. Oh, no, other heart. No, they can die. So they die, but they don't die forever they regenerate. Right.

Yes, which I'll get into. So a bit of Time Lord history. Sure. The Timelord's history, vast, messy, but essentially they look like people. Again, that's that same kink bias. But they live in the planet Galifrey and they are able to regenerate when they die. So in theory, there's like meant to be a number of regenerations that they have. But we can ignore that for convenience, and it kind of just gets explained away in the canon that I'll get to later on in the report.

Point is, when they die, I think they're supposed to be 12 and then they die. Okay. And point is, but when they die, they become a new person with a new face, but the same name and the same memories and more or less the same core values and personality traits. So they're always like a little bit different, but it's like you've got the same breed of dog from the same breeder. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah, thanks for putting in terms, I understand.

There's a real dog guy over there. For the doctor, those core traits are empathy, a healthy mistrust of authority and curiosity. K-9 should have been called the dog-ta. Oh my God. That's true. Have you been listening to me at all? Or did you just think about that for 10 minutes? You just pronounced doctor-like dog to me then.

I'm like, that makes sense. That should be what it's called. That is true. Imagine having a pet dog named Dog to Who. Oh That must happen It must Dog to who

Dog Tahu That must happen a lot Actually Oh Tahu Probably more common Than like Rex or whatever

Yeah Yeah There'd be dogs out there Called K-9 Because it's like K-9 Yeah That's clever And he's a little Robert

He goes K-9 He's really cute Oh I like that A lot And he calls the doctor His master

Which is problematic He's real cute Can I make a guess That the existing fans hated it. Hated it? They're like, what are you doing? Don't infantile this show.

This is a show. You know, they hate it. No. Fandums hate it when you're bringing a new cute character. He walks or whatever. K-9 is old. K-9's from the old doctor. Oh, okay.

Which, again, we will get to. But also, I think Doctor Who fans are very accepting. For a fandom, they will put up with a lot. Put up with it. We'll put up with it. Yeah. Well, I'll watch it, but I'll complain about it. It's a bit that.

Anyways, okay, where I'm up to in my little time lord history. Okay, so time lords, they have a history of meddling with other people's lives. In the early days, they would have these, this is just history. So this is not like stuff that we really spend a lot of time. But this is important that, you know, they would have these like gladiatorial fights between species. They considered lesser than themselves. And then as they evolved a bit more, they became to be like better people, trying to use their, you know, perceived power and knowledge to like help other civilizations. So it's a bit colonial history.

At first, they mistreat others who are different. Interesting. Yes. They mistreat others who are different. Then they exploit them for personal gain. And then they try to step in because they know better and interfere with the lives. Then they often have catastrophic effects. So after that, the time lords went through their cycle of this.

And they eventually made a vow not to do anything. So they adopt a policy of neutrality. They just sort of watch as other worlds burn, which is also not the best approach and definitely not what the doctor does. So very long story short, The doctor's like great pain from a new series onwards is that he carries the knowledge that he has killed all the time lords in a big war called the Time War. He tried everything to help these people in the war against the Daleks, which is a race of kind

of like an evil octopus inside a tin can. You will have seen it. It's got like a plunger and it's like, it says exterminate. Have you seen these? Oh, yeah. Very iconic. This is silly. I can respect that you would think that they look silly, but I think they're very scared.

I was very little at the time, okay? So I wasn't, you know, I didn't realize how hard it was to make TV and on a limited budget and whatever. But I mean, they are silly though, aren't they? Like, it's surely even if you're loving it, you're like, this is a bit funny. Oh, they are. I think that's the thing about Doctor who is very whimsical and silly.

And you have to really, the fandom, and this is why they'll put up with anything. They just go, yeah, we suspend our disbelief. We love this. Because at its core, the doctor is someone who sees the best in people. And so I think the fans want to be like the doctor. which is really nice. But how did he kill all his friends? So, okay, so the Daleks were, there was a big war.

The Daleks and the Time Lords were having like sort of a big final battle. And then the doctor was there and he was like, all right, well, I have to, I have to stop this and tried everything they could to stop it. Oh my God, I didn't tell you that the Time Lords can travel through time and that's why they had all those powers. Anyway, so he's like trying to, trying to fix it, trying to save them and then realizes the only way to save the universe from the Daleks who love war and just want to kill everything is to blow up everyone in this vicinity,

which is including my people, the time lords. So he had to, you know, sacrifice his own race to save every other race, which is very sad, very sad. And that also killed all the Daleks? Also killed all the Daleks, yes. Also, the Daleks are done. Well, listen, like the Fast and the Furious,

when someone dies, are they really dead? Okay. You know? But yeah, very sad. that's like what I was telling you at the party in Edinburgh when you die it's not the end yeah you were saying that weren't you you were saying that you kept stealing people's waters

and then sort of doing a weird magic trick yeah yeah yeah it's good though because we were running out of that wine that was very helpful but yeah first aired in 63 created by the BBC the show's MO was to be a family show which is why it's sort of a kid's show some of the monsters in the first like few series were created by kids they were designed by kids

Kids would like just draw a kid and draw a monster and they'd be like, yeah, we'll make that. There was one I think called the Absorboloff, which is this is a big like, Rol Blu. That's so fun. And it was a big what, sorry? Grasol. Yeah. It's very, very fun.

But yeah, the idea was to educate young people about history and science. So we travel through time and science. And science. Absorbopal off. Yeah, Absorbopal off. Like the important stuff, okay? The first four episodes were written by Anthony Coburn, but there's like a few people. credited with its creation.

It was made in-house by the BBC. They made it. It's theirs. And there's a lot of episodes. There are some missing episodes from the early series. Have you heard the theme song? Do you know the famous theme song? Yes.

Do do do do do do do do. Was it close at the start? It was close at the start. Then he went into Baker Street. Is that it? That's it. That's it, isn't it? Yeah.

It's composed by a Baker Street. It was composed by Ron Greiner and created by Delia Derbyshire at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. And they still use the same. You keep almost having it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, ee. Come about.

Ooh. All right, I'm going to run you through just the first. I'm going to run you through the first, all the doctors that were at the first in the first bit, I'm not going to go into them. It's too much, okay? It will be too much. It will be too long. But the first doctor was William Hartnell, as Dave said.

First Doctor, 63 to 66. Character actor, who presented the world with this sort of crotchety, cranky, old Doctor Who. Serious Grump, and he took himself quite seriously as an actor. He sort of tried to distance himself from Doctor Who after a while. He was like, I've had enough of this. Then Patrick Trotton, who was your favourite? That's right, number two, big fan. 66 to 69.

A little bit silly. Plays a little recorder. Ooh, that is a real clown. Very whimsical. It was just really, yeah, it was a real clown, is very silly. What a change from the first? one. Yes.

Very changed. Like, yeah. He, and he would go on interview shows and be like, oh, like he was very cheeky in the media. And we met the sonic screwdriver, which is a device that the doctor can use. It can essentially do anything except it doesn't work on wood. So it can't like unlock a wooden door. It's a bit of a running gag. That's a bit of fun.

Bit of fun. Bit of fun. It can do anything though. Yes. Like, like, could it be like sex toy? It could be sex toy. I reckon it is a sex toy. Oh, my God.

I think this is primary. Yeah. Primary purpose. But a sex toy version of it has to exist in the world. Yeah, 100%. Oh, yeah. You know what, on the TARDIS, you always see, like, the bit where they're traveling in, but is there like back quarters.

There's like a bedroom and a kitchen and a toilet out there. Yeah, and they've got like a costume room. There's all, I think there's meant to those reference to like there being a swimming pool and stuff. Sometimes you get to see like deep down into the TARDIS. Yeah, that's pretty cool. But usually you're just in their main control room, which has a lot of controls because it's meant to be run by like six people,

apparently at the same time, but the doctor stole it. He killed them all. He killed them all. John Pertwee was the third doctor from 70 to 74. Even more gadgets, very inspector gadget vibes, very eccentric, charming, more flamboyate outfits. He's the one in the purple velvet suit. I think it looks like Willy Wonka. Yes, yeah. Willie Wonka, Sheila Combs. Yeah, okay.

Sheller Combs is a big influence on the doctor. Right. And then we get to Tom Baker, the fourth doctor, a lot of people's favorite doctor, 74 to 81. That's a long time. Yeah. Is that why it's a lot of? of people's favour as well. It's just a lot of people.

Maybe. First doctor, maybe. Yeah, maybe. He was also very silly and he had a big long scarf. Very memorable. Yes, the scarfs. Because I think, yeah, I just thought that was who the doctor was for a long time. I'm just looking at the photos now. You're about to get into a patch of four that I don't recognize at all. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's fair. And this is where we met K-9, our little robot dog. Peter Davison, the fifth doctor, 82 to 84. He's the first mixed race doctor. A lot of people don't realize that.

Yeah, he's like part, I think his father was Afro-Gyaniese. Oh, cool. But he looks like his mom, and he's very, she's like as British. He looks as British as fish and chips. But, yeah, anyway, after him, there was rumors where they were trying to cast the new Doctor Who and there was interviews with the creators and the writers being like, and is there a chat of a lady, Doctor Who? And they were like, yeah, maybe.

We're thinking about it. So it's interesting to be like, for the people now who are like, you shouldn't be a woman and there shouldn't be a black man. And it's like, well, you know, actually. It's kind of been there the whole time. And you said before that it doesn't even have a gender, the character. No, yeah, exactly. It's pretty funny to be hung up on that.

People get mad. Odds are that at some point they're going to present slightly differently. Yeah, well, that's the thing. You change your face all the time. Anyway, Colin Baker was the sixth doctor from 84 to 86. Another Baker. Another Baker. Nepo baby.

Nepo, brother. Nepo Baker. And Colin Baker was actually the first actor to appear in another six. series of Doctor Who before becoming a different character. So this happens all the time. Colin Baker was a guard in a previous episode and shot Peter Davison's doctor. And then he came back as the doctor, as a different character. Did they use that as like a, that was you shooting yourself to save you from doing something?

No. And it's like an infinite circle now. Yeah, there's just like, so David Tennant's doctor at some point, I think in the future says like, oh, well, you know, sometimes I regenerate into faces I've seen before. Yeah, yeah. That's a good line. Yeah. But the new head of BBC, there was a new head of BBC, came over, took it over,

had publicly said, I don't like Doctor Who, thought like Matt, it's shit. Yeah. Axt it. And, you know, he wanted to save money. And Britain absolutely shat itself. They were furious. It was on the front page of newspapers. People were not, or it was like it was World War III.

Like, they were not happy about it. People were furious. They sort of threw Colin Baker under the bus a bit. The guy, the people at BBC. They were like, oh, no, well, it wasn't that we, we love it as well. It was just, we think he's the problem. So. Colin Baker said that we should cancel it.

Yeah, Colenbaker said, I hate it. He said, oh, I hate it. Colin Baker had a gun. Yeah. I don't know what to do. Yeah. So they got rid of him and they got a new one in. Sylvester McCoy's, the seventh doctor.

Again, another clowny doctor. Great name. And then Paul McCann was the eighth doctor in a movie version. Is that Paul McCann from, with Illinois? Yeah. I think so. Same way. Yeah. Then, companions, we had Sarah Jane Smith, played by Elizabeth Sladen, who's very, just she's important and K-9, they come back. In the future, Sarah Jane Smith even gets her own TV show.

So this is one of the companions, probably one of the most loved, but like the thing is like he, he's always just leaving him behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's very, it's quite sad. Anyway, who went quiet until a 1999 comic relief for Red Nosed Day series of Spoof Specials, The Curse of the Fatal Death, which showcases that. The first television Doctor Who script by Stephen Moffat, who's very important in the current Who universe, and the final performance by the longest serving Dalek vocal artist, Roy Skelton, who's quite famous for his exterminate voice, which is very nice. So that's not an effect that it's just a man's voice saying exterminate in that funny way.

Yeah, I think so. That's my understanding of it. I was some sort of computer. That's an amazing voice. I imagine it's through a thing, but he does the voice. But it's not him saying, exterminate. Exterminate. And then it just sort of puts.

Faser on it. Exterminate. Exterminate. Exterminate. But in this series of specials, the doctor is played by at different times, Rowan Atkinson, Richard E. Grant, who actually went on to appear in more episodes of Doctor Who later on. Also from with Mal and I, Richard E. Grant. Joanna Lumley.

Oh. She's so good. So good. Jim Broadbent. I love Jim Broadbent. And Hugh Grant, who was offered the role of the doctor again for the 2005 revival. Really? Yeah, and he says he regrets turning it down.

And, like, he saw how good the season was and he was like, I shouldn't have like, I didn't realize it was going to be. Because it's a lot more, it's a lot darker. Is that what he's like, yeah? I thought it was shit. Yeah. Jonathan Price plays the master in this as well, who's another great British character actor. So the master is great.

I feel like Hugh Grant might have been too big for the role. 2005, yeah. Too much baggie. It's like, say it's like the same if Rowan Atkinson plays. Everyone knows who you are already. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot. You're like bigger than the show.

And it's a big gamble as well. I mean, the show's been gone for ages as well. So it's like the old show was very like kind of janky, whimsical. It's still very whimsical, but it's very like a robot on a string is flying kind of vibe. You know, it's old, it's old school TV. That's shit. No, it's not. It's nice.

It's nice. It looks shit. Shut up, man. If you just, if you just flicked it through the channels, you'd be like, well, this sucks, bro. That's all I'm saying. I'm just saying to look at it's awful. Everything looked like that at the time. Yeah, okay.

They all looked. It wasn't like they had like Game of Thrones and then they changed the channel and it looked like 1963. Yeah, you're right. Everything like that, it just outlived all those other shows. It's still connected to that like janky look. Exactly. I'm pretty sure it was reruns when I was on when I was a kid as well. So you were flicking from Game of Thrones when you were a wee barn.

Okay, new era of who, 2005 on Woods. It's 2005. Destiny's Child have just announced they are breaking up. Michelle Brazier is getting kicked out of science class for pretending to fate when she doesn't get enough tension. No! And Russell T. Davies is the headwriter at the helm of the new Doctor Who. What's a big year.

He is a Welsh TV writer who wrote Queer's Folk. Do you guys know Queer as Folk? No of it. What name? Yeah. So he's always been left-leaning and queer never hid this in his writing. He really injected this into Doctor Who which matched the doctor's sense of social justice, making Doctor Who an inclusive TV show for the sci-fi inclined.

I think this is what's really responsible for a lot of its success. he made the doctor kind of pansexual a bit like he's always attracted to like he was still a man at first but very attracted to like different aliens and different and you know um we also met characters like john barraman's captain jack harkness who is a bisexual time-traveling icon much like myself yes um who the doctor sort of alludes to having maybe hooked up with in the past um and they're still friends which is actually that's actually a lesbian culture yeah so very, very gay. That's nice.

We had queer and culturally diverse representations of heads of state of countries like America and England. And this really made the series an exciting place to start in 2005 when we were like, hang on a second. Should women vote? You don't remember 2000. Yeah, I remember that. So this was this new sexed up queer friendly who was a place for queer nerds to see themselves.

So this new era of who introduces us to a series of new doctors and companions, starting with the ninth doctor in 2005. Christopher Eccleston, not Hugh Grant. And if he was a dog, I think he would be a staffy. But an older one who's lived on the street a bit. He was quite grumpy because he's recovering from his dark past. He's just had the time war. Okay.

Oh, that happened in between. We didn't see that. Yeah, I think, yes. God, don't come for me. Internet people. I think, yes, it happened between. Don't come for me, internet people. Don't come for me, internet people.

I can't keep it all in my hands. But he's also a time travel, so it's always all happened, right? I think it's like, yeah, that's the thing. It's like, it will happen. It hasn't happened. Yeah, and I don't know like. It is happening. It's happening right now.

Yeah, exactly. It's happening. Wibbley Wobbly, timey-wimy, is what they say. If you've watched the good place, it's Jeremy Beryme. It's Jeremy Bery. Exactly. Thank you so much. Time is it linear.

It's a bit of a squiggle. It looks a little bit like Jeremy Bermy written in cursive. Yeah. And that's how time works. Yeah. Sometimes stuff that's happening right now is actually happening in the past. Yeah. Jeremy Beremy Bermy is a reference to wibly wibly,

timely way. Okay, fantastic. Yeah. Great. After a long absence, Doctor who returned in 2005, Christopher Eccleston as the leather jacketed ninth doctor. His tenure focused on reintroducing the doctor and his companion,

Rose Tyler, played by Billy Piper. Yes, this is when I think I'd heard of it again. I heard of it because people were like, you look like Billy Piper. And I was like, oh, great, I'll watch me.

That's why I started watching this program. Yeah. I got the opposite. Yeah. They said you don't look like Billy Piper, so I didn't watch. So you didn't watch it. They said Billy Piper's in this.

You don't look anything like her. Do you just watch stuff with people in it that look like you? Yeah. So what do you watch? I watch Captain Snooze ads from the 90s. Yeah, Rod Pontock, yes. Yeah. That's pretty much.

I've been binging that lately. Yeah. Good for the rewatch. Yeah, good Tucker. All I watch shows with me on it, yes. Oh, that was you? Okay. Why do you like this on Netflix?

Yeah, yeah, I watched one of the episodes of that. Just one of the episodes. Yeah. Did you watch the one I'm in? I play a character called Michelle. so I assume Michelle watched it. I've watched, well, I'm in the same episode as you, I think. So, of course, she's on.

I also wrote on that television program. Anyway, this series, it sort of explores themes of war and loss and redemption. So he's very sad. He's real grump. And he meets Rose Tyler. She lightens him up a bit. She doesn't let him get away with being a sad boy, which is good. Because being sad, it's so annoying.

And they become really close. We meet Rose's boyfriend Mickey and her mom, Jackie. They live in a council estate. So there's like, you know those concrete classics in London. And she just works in a shop, ordinary gal. And the doctor shows, you know, in this amazing new world, she sort of kicks him perspective up his ass. Like, she's like, we're in space.

Like, can you stop moping? Do you know what I mean? And he learns to love the world again, which is really nice. That's a great point. We're in space. Stop moping. Stop moping. And so he becomes a bit more happy by the end of this.

He just like gets over the seriousness of series gone by, I think. It comes back a bit, but I think it really, She's responsible for a lot. Then the Daleks come back. No. Which is not fair in my personal opinion. How depressing would that be when you killed all your friends and family for one reason? Yeah.

And that one reason didn't even happen. Yeah, it didn't even work. It's really sad. Anyway, a lot happens. Rose accidentally looks into a time vortex. I don't know what that is. I think it's like looking in the sun in an eclipse. It's probably a bit wibbly wobbly.

It's wibbley wobbly. Yeah. me, my ami. But he, the doctor absorbs all the energy she absorbed, saving her, killing himself. And as he lays dying, we meet our new doctor, which is a real shock for Rose, because Dr. Number 9 did not warn her about three generations. He's not told her anything about it. So she's very confused. But yeah, this is Russell T. Davies is the show runner for series one, as I said before. He's written some episodes, Stephen Moffitt, who wrote some of those specials with the funny actors, Mark Gattis, who you might know, one of the great character actors,

self, he's in a few episodes of Doctor Who as well. He plays Sherlock's brother, Markroft. Yep. In The Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock, which is great. He also created that show with Stephen Moffat. So it's all like, it's kind of this golden age of British, clever person television. Like a bit, it's a bit milady, but I like it.

So now we have David Tennant, 10th Doctor, a lot of people's favorite doctor. My favourite Doctor. If he was a dog, he'd be a Labrador. Yes. Yes. David Tennant took over, known for his charismatic and emotional portrayal of the doctor. He, again, we saw classic villains like the Daleks. And now the Daleks can fly.

So the whole thing, right, before, if a Dalek was coming, you could just sort of go upstairs. The biggest threat in the universe, but you can go upstairs. That's so funny. Now, they can fly. Oh, we're fucked. We are fucked. When the doctor killed all his friends, he didn't think about just building a second story. No, I guess not.

No, who didn't think about that? I'll just kill everyone. Yeah, I think so. Guys, jump. Well, I think we don't know about the time war until later. Like, I think it's all post, it's wibbly wobbly. Do you know what I mean? Like, we don't talk about it.

Sorry, sorry to bring it up. Yeah, sorry, please, we don't talk about that at the dinner table. Thank you very much. And there's also a Cyberman, which is like a tin man made for killing. Again, another robot. Google Cyberman. You love this. You will love this.

I want to look up Cyberman. Yeah, they look good. They're hot. I think they're sexy. I would marry a Cyberman if he was nice to me. And he gave me heaps of compliments. Okay. Just looking at a Cyberman.

Yeah. Do you think? Actually, Yeah, this is. Show me, show me. Yeah, Cyberman old. Cyberman old? Yeah.

They look a bit different now, but. Yeah. That's the ones I remember from the Five Doctors movie. And that's the one I want to marry. And they're funny. Yeah, that's more of the stuff as a kid. I would like, this sucks. So watching a, like, that's fun as a school play in, you know, grade five.

But that's what TV was. Yeah, yeah. Everyone was so scared of the Daleks in the early years. There was like, people started saying, like, watching from behind the couch. That became a phrase, like, watching from behind the couch because people were afraid of Dr. Who, they would, like, watch. Oh. They'd be like, oh, I can't.

Like, kids, though. Not adults, I'm imagining. I imagine children. They were scared of that. They were scared of that. I've looked up a dialect. It's very spooky. That's not scary.

It looks like a big salt and pepper shaker. Yeah. Yeah, that's so much salt. That could kill you. Sodium is a problem. But what if you had that much pepper? Oh, yeah. I can get real sneezy.

That's too much pepper. I think that's too much pepper. I think there is an amount of pepper that's too much. Okay. I know, I try not to say that. It hasn't been discovered yet, but. Yeah, but I'm sure there's a fine. It's amount.

So we also saw the enemy of the time lord who somehow survived the antagonist for the doctor's life, the master. Another time lord, but an evil one. And is that a self-appointed name? Yes, so they pick their names. That is embarrassing, Nate. It is embarrassing. There's the whole thing of like, what's your real name? And like, no one really knows what the doctor's real name is. And the doctor shows doctor who.

Yes, because people always like, he's like, I'm the doctor. And people like, Dr. Who? The master who? Yeah. Master who? But the master can also regenerate and has had various genders and faces. It's all very sexy. And it's like, honestly, it's like, are they going to kill each other?

Are they going to kiss? Like, that's my personal opinion. Have they ever kissed? A.k.a. Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Okay, exactly. Are they going to kill each other? Are they in love?

We don't know. Yeah, I think it's very horny. We're inside of this and we don't know. We don't know? That's what makes it exciting is the bit where you don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as you know, you're going to kiss, it's not the same. Yeah, then I'll be like, ugh, podcast over.

So we have Rose Tyler again, Billy Piper. She's the companion. She gets used to his new face really quickly and his new jacket. Because David Tennett's quite pretty. Yeah. So she's like, oh, this is fine. This is okay. Why do they change a dress?

They change outfit. Just having a look at them all. They've all got a distinctive look. Yeah, they have a distinct outfit. Except our current doctor who has a different outfit on all the time. Oh. But that's just for them, right? They get to choose, yeah.

They work with the team. Because it makes no sense that the actual doctor would be like, oh, now I've got a new face, I'm going to go for a new wardrobe. No, they do because they sort of have a new personality as well. And they're discovering themselves. They're going like, oh, I think I like, I think I like jazz. Oh, my God. I mean, I was a winter, but I think I'm in autumn now.

Yeah, exactly. I'm just looking. That changes everything. David Tennant's definitely in autumn. David Tennant and one of the others are both in that show about, crime that was committed. Broad Church. On a beach, I was going to say. Did you want me to talk about Broad Church? As a kid, it's dead. Yeah, I found it pretty full on as a kid. It's pretty full on. As a kid, I was like, oh, this is a bit, this is,

this is, this sucks. As a kid. No, I thought it was pretty good though, but yeah, if you want to talk about that, that would be fantastic. I don't know, no, I'm loving this. Olivia Coleman's there. I'm loving this. Olivia Coleman's great. People love Dr. Humat. People like it. I love it. I like Let me convince you. I'm in. Let me tell you, okay? All right. I'm loving this.

Okay. So it's very romantic between Rose and the doctor and everyone wants them to get together. Even though Rose has a boyfriend called Mickey, but it's sort of like who cares about Mickey? Oh, poor Mickey. Well, he does a lot like he redeems himself and he does really great stuff and he does all these like gallant acts. Saves a world a bunch. And so we're like, we love you, Mickey, but also at the same time, like, it's David Tennant. Do you know what I mean?

Like it's David Tennant. He's immortal. He's immortal and he's Scottish. What have you got? Yeah, what have you got? So he keeps his Scottish accent in this? He doesn't, but he uses it in one episode. Okay.

But they do have different accents. So, like, Christopher Ecclston has a northern accent. And Billy Piper's like, well, if you're an alien, why do you sound northern? And she's like, lots of places have a north. It's just very cheeky. Yeah. Lots of places have a north. It's really funny.

I do like that because that's actually, it's so funny because that's actually true. Yeah. Like Australia, we have a north. We have a north. We're in the south right now. Yeah. That's weird. Isn't that crazy?

We're in the deep south. Almost everything is north to us. That's true. We're in the south country. Yeah, yeah. Are we not? Yeah. We're pretty deep.

I'm going to keep doing the report. Yeah, okay. Okay. So the doctor and Rose have lots of adventures. They go back in time. They go to Scotland. And this is where he uses his real accent. And they meet Queen Victoria.

And this episode is about werewolves. I don't know. Have you ever heard the rumor that like the British royal family are werewolves? this is apparently a thing It's a rumor Yeah It's like It's like a folklore

Like oh they're all weirdwops Because I think Have you heard? All right A big point Okay And I don't respect it But you're laughing about rumor

Because it's like Well that's not a rumor Yeah it's true Everyone knows Yeah Yeah come on Anyway so this episode is I think

Just sort of a play on that She gets bitten by a werewolf And she's like And they're out of place called the Torchwood Estate Which is important And she's like, I don't like this. I don't like this alien stuff.

I don't like this doctor stuff. This is not on. I'm going to set up a thing called Torchwood after this castle where I got bit by a werewolf clearly. And that goes on to be Torchwood, which is like a whole new spin-off TV show. We also see them a lot in this thing. And Torchward is like horny Doctor Who. So like Torchwood, she sets it up to protect Britain from aliens essentially.

but the TV show Torchwood, which is sort of stars John Barrowman as Captain Jack Hartness, the bisexual time-travelling icon who cannot die, goes on to be a big player in the Hooniverse. They're like sort of allies for the modern day doctor, but they sometimes see things in different ways because they're a bit governmenty. Tortchwood uses guns. The doctor doesn't use guns. The doctor's weapon of choice is actually brains and reason.

Oh, I love that. And his screwdriver? And the sonic screwdriver that can not unlock a wooden. door. Torchwood became a spin-off series, as I said. It's very sexy. It's set in Cardiff. They swear they do all the things that the family-friendly Doctor Who cannot do. So the first episode is about an alien that takes over people, makes them kill other people by fucking. It's super horny. It's really, really horny. That's the first episode, did you say? I think it's the pilot, yeah.

Matt, are your ears pricking up here? I'm listening. Yeah. People love Torchwood. I was in Carter recently and like there's like Torchwood headquarters is meant to be at this place which was near the place I was performing. So I got my photo taken there with Tim and I was like, oh, that's from Doctor Who. That's from Doctor Who. That's from Torto. That's, and Tim was like, oh, my God. And Tim was like, a wall that was like full of photos of someone who had died. Like obviously tributes, there's flowers and stuff. And I was like, oh, what's that? Oh my God. That's so sad. Someone's died. And Tim was like, oh, it's probably fucking Doctor Who. And I was like, oh, no, actually that is Dr. Who. That's the Anto's wall. That's a character from Torchwood. Yeah. And there's like just a

whole wall where like fans have written letters to this character. But he was very important to people, I think, because he was like queer and all the young and queer kids have been like, you changed my life. It's very nice. Yeah, it means a lot to people. Torchwood over? I guess you'll talk about that at some point. You can't watch Torchwood.

I can't talk about Torchwood. It's too much. Is Torchwood? I looked up four seasons. That is Doctor Who anagramed or whatever, right? And is that a coincidence in a sudden? Did you do that in your brain? No, I can't remember if I knew that or if it just, I don't know, but it's, it's, it's, it

It is. It's an anagram of Doctor Who. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just coincidence in universe. It's coincidence. Yeah, it's coincidence.

Well, everything's. Everything happens for a reason. Yeah. You know? That's why they're at the Torchwood estate. Yeah. Yeah. It makes sense.

I don't know. I didn't. But I'm sure I've heard that that show is good. I didn't know it was all about fucking people to death. That sounds like a Dave sort of show. Yeah. What Bridgeton? Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, there's also like a lot of people turn up in this. We see Giles from Buffy and the Stuart Head. He's in an episode where they go back to school. It's called school reunion. They go back to school and the Rose and the doctor go undercover. The doctor is a teacher. And Rose is like this lunch lady.

And the teachers are secretly bats. And they are led by Giles from Buffy. And they are trying to, they're feeding all the kids. What? They're feeding. Yeah. All the, everything. plot line is like this. You have to just go there. You have to lean in. You have to lean in.

Because it's just, this is just how it is. You have to go. Okay. Teachers and Bats. There's an episode where, like, people are taking this new weight loss drug and the people's fat is like melting off them and these tiny little cute things and they walk away. They're like, and they're just like wandering. And it's really cute. They're called Adipose. It's just the way it is. It's very whimsical. I love that. I love that. In one of the 70s, their versions. No, it's just on a string. But yeah, no, it's very sweet.

I'm actually, I am being, because I never watched X-Files until Dave got me into it a few years ago. Now I really like that. It's just each episode's about some nonsense. It's just kind of a bit of a mystery and they try and figure it out. Yeah. And then they, yeah, I'd probably like it. Yeah, that's, yeah, I think so.

I think you would like it. But you just got to, you've got to lean in. I just probably can't watch those. old episodes. No, I can't watch those old episodes. Even I can't. I think you had to have, like, watch them going up. Where did you kind of start?

With Tenet? I started with Tenant. I started when I was, like, 15, my best friend at the time, really loved Doctor Who. And I was interested in having sex with that man. Uh-huh. And I think we just started. Who, Doctor Who or the friend? The Friends.

The Friends. We've all watched, consumed some form of bad media. For somebody we wanted to have sex with. And then I started, I started liking it. Yeah, Dave got me into the exiles. And it worked out all right. Oh, yeah. I watched the Godfather trilogy as an example.

Yeah, see, yeah. Really? Did that work? Yeah. Hell yeah. It always works. It always works. It always works.

Full proof plan. If you want to hook up with someone, watch their favorite media. Yeah. We used to have a rule in my house, in my sharehouse in my early 20s, where if someone brought someone home, there was five of us, that live there, we're all very good friends. And if someone brought someone home, you weren't allowed to just take them to your room and sleep with them because we would all follow you into the room and go, what are you guys doing? You had to in front of all of us, like look at the, look at your

watch, not have a watch on. Look at your wrist that didn't have a watch and it go, oh, it's late. Do you want to come and watch cruel intentions with me? And we would all let you leave. And that was the only way that we would let you leave and go to your room. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love it, like, waiting for them. And if they don't do it. it you're like fantastic here we all go then yeah yeah what are you guys doing then the partner's like oh actually i watched that last week i'm all good yeah yeah it's never happened no one's ever said no yeah to going to a bedroom to watch cruel intentions yeah there's no watching cruel intentions happening no no no it's not even a real movie yeah um but this episode with buffy with giles from buffy

also brings back sarah jane smith who's one of the old companions and the dog canine who she's been hanging out with. And it brings up a lot of feelings for the doctor. This is the first time where the doctor's confronted by an old companion. And she's like, I waited for you. And it's the same actor? Same actor. Wow.

Same actor. Like 30 plus years later or something. Yeah. Wow. And she's like, I waited for you. And she's, but she's been doing our own investigation. She's been, and he's like so impressed by her. And Rose is like, oh, the fuck is this.

That it's really. But then they become friends. And Rose realizes like, oh, right. He one day will, you know, I'm not the first one. But does any, did anyone watch cruel intentions with the doctor? or? I reckon both of them have watched cruel intentions with the doctor. That's my personal opinion.

Okay. Anyways, a big spoiler here. Big spoiler here. But at the end of this, Rose Tyler gets trapped in another world because of a cyberman related incident. And the doctor's only just learning to love again after his life of heartache and he never quite makes it. And he tries to say that he loves her.

There's this projection. Like she gets stuck in a different parallel universe and he can send a projection to her and he's gearing up to say, I love you. And he says, Rose Tyler, and then. Oh, that's cruel. It's really sad. And she's crying on the beach, and it's very heartbreaking, it's very, very sad. Is that when Billy Pop, does she have another show to go to?

I assume. Secret life of her. Secret life of a call girl. Cold girl. Is that what happened? Yeah, I assume. So in season three of David Tennant, we meet Martha Jones, played by Afrema, Aegeman, another actor, again, who had also appeared in Doctor Who previously.

She was in the Cyberman episode. she was like there and then they were like oh yeah that my cousin was was all in all of that like they just they just do this i don't know why they do this i actually i like it they test you i'm re-watching um unbreakable commission meet at the moment and tina fay plays two different characters in that series yeah in different seasons different hairstyles but that's it it's just tina fay twice i think that's good yeah do this more i reckon do it it's nice it's very nice or like on dick van dyke as diagnosed his murder when his son uh shane sorry grandson shane was in nine separate episodes

as nine different characters. Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's beautiful. But yeah. I hate it when people say, oh, you know,

how does that even possible? Or you know when people say, oh, how can someone in the show in friends say like watching die hard and then Bruce Willis is in it? It's not Bruce Willis. Yeah, that's right.

He's acting. Yes. It's not, you haven't found a plot hole. Yeah, that's like, A classic, why would someone, an adult is wearing a t-shirt that says genius at work. Exactly.

It's just like that. I hope someone got fired for that blunder. I'm looking at these masters, by the way. Oh, the masters. And they had some wild looks. Yeah, they've had some absolute wild. Are you looking at the old ones? Oh, yeah.

A lot of these. So those four at the bottom, they're the new ones. Yeah, okay. They're the new doctors. Yeah, I know her from stuff. She's great. He's really good. He's from stuff.

Yeah, he's from stuff. Yeah, he's a lot of... This would be a good point. A lot of pointing out of... Oh, she's good. He's from stuff, isn't he? I've seen him in stuff. I've seen him in stuff.

Yeah, I reckon that's a working actor. He was Derek Jacoby and she was Michelle Gomez. That's their real names. Yes. Yes. I reckon I know Michelle Gomez from that show with Brendan Fraser where he plays a robot man. I can have Doom Patrol. Doom Patrol. Yeah, she's from Doom Patrol.

Okay. Okay. Well, that's beautiful. We do get the master again in this season. We meet the master. There's some rhinos on Mars. There's some stuff that happens. Say them all. But the master this time is played by John Sim. He's good fun. He's really great. He's very, again, I reckon, Gunner wants to fuck the doctor, but hates the doctor

wants to end the world. His, like, theme song is the, um, the, here come the drums, here come the drums, baby, baby, that's his song. That rule. Why does it be like a wrestler sort of thing when he comes out? Well, he's like, he has this like a, like a, like a drum that's like always bit that's sent him mad because he looked into, again, I don't know, the Time Vortex,

something. He has his drum beat and it drives him mad and it's the sound of these drums and he's always like, this drumming, this drumming is kind of like classic, you know, TV psychopath vibe. and then yeah so then they have hit on the drums when he's taken over the world it's really fun very funny yes um but we also have um an episode where there is not not really any doctor like there's a very very small amount of doctor and the main bulk of the episode is played by a character that is played by carrie melligan oh yeah which it's called blink and it's a really like iconic episode one of the most iconic episodes.

It's about the weeping angels, which are genuinely very scary. That one was terrifying, wasn't it? Yeah. I still remember that one. Yeah, they're like, they're these stone angel statues.

Yeah, like gargoyles. And they cover their eyes, but if you look away from them, they will undo their eye, and they can see you, and they get closer to you. If you look away from them,

they get closer to you. If they touch you, they just place you in time so they can send you back to whenever. Wow. Like a playground game. Yeah, totally. It's the time you're worth of Mr. Wolf.

Wolf. That's what it's right. Yeah. 4040 out. What was the 4040 game? I did 4040. I don't know what 4040 is. I think it was like, if you got seen, you were out. Now, 4040 was different, I thought. I can't remember. But yeah, it's, what's the time, Mr. Wolf for sure. Yeah, what's the time Mr. Wolf? Yeah, but you can't look. You can't, you can't look away from them. Wow. That's, that's, that is scary. Yeah. So it's a bit, it's spooky and Carrie Mulligan's there and the doctor's trying to communicate. I don't recognize Carrie Mulligan. What's she from? You don't recognize. Harry Mulligan. Wait, unless, is this the right one?

Yes. Yeah. From promising young woman, the great Gatsby, from one of the most successful actors of our time, you don't recognise Carrie Mulligan? From Blink, the episode of Doctor Who? Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's in Blink. She's in that one.

Married to that guy from Mumford and Sons. Yes, Marcus Mumford. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A great actor. Yeah, she's a great actor. And she really carries this episode. It's really incredible. It's very spooky.

I would actually watch this episode. She's in prime prejudice. Oh, yeah. She's in heaps of the sisters. I just haven't seen any of these things. That's okay. I've heard there are a lot of good things there. Inside Luland Davis.

Yeah. Lulen. Inside Lulun. I just have, for whatever reason, not seen any of these things. Listeners like listening to you just have a look through people's IMDB. I assume that. I'm not the cameras are rolling for it. I'm pretty sure this will get edited out.

I reckon it absolutely doesn't. You assume Lott gets edited out that doesn't. Yeah, I often hear you on the podcast say, this will be gone, but it's always in. Please edit this out. I don't think any tedious parts don't get out. Only potentially defamatory stuff is. Oh, no, edit out the tedious bits, for sure.

You get in the defamation. Yeah. The defamation is funny enough. It's exciting. That gets likes. That gets likes. That gets on news.com.com.com. We've basically just given you some more movies to watch because, yeah,

Caramelagin's really great. I'll stop asking. about actors if they're not going to fucking edit it out. Why would you ask about them? Well, because for interest and you see where it goes and it goes and I can send you the dock. I might need to take over editing again. Anyway, so we're with Martha Jones. She's our current companion.

She leaves because she's in love with the doctor. He can't love her back. He definitely loves Billy Piper still. She's like, all right, I'm out. She joins Unit, which is like a tortuity fighting. aliens-y thing. They got guns. I sound like that's good. We're aiming for another spin-off there. Well, yeah, she sort of comes back and forth a bit.

We see unit all the time. Unit in capitals. And then we meet the new companion, which is Donna Noble, played by Catherine Tate. And this is one of my favourite eras of Doctor Who. Catherine Tate. Do we know Catherine Tate? Do you want me to get her IMD? Not funny. Now, what's her thing? Not bothered.

I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. Correct. She's great. I've met Catherine Tate and she was great. She was really nice to me. She's really fucking funny and they have one of my favorite episodes where they go to Pompeii. I really like the historic episodes. So they go to Pompeii. It's called Fire as a Pompey. She reminds the doctor of who they are because he's like, listen, we can't stop Pompey. It's a fixed point in time. We can't be stopping Pompey. It's a natural disaster. And she's like, they're all going to die. Fuck you. Do something. She's really passionate. She's really fun. and she does not love him.

She does not want to fuck him. She thinks he's scrawny. It's just really fun. Like, they're really well matched. Is it David Tennant? It's David Tennant. So it's unrealistic than anyone wouldn't want to fuck him. But it's just great.

She does such a great job of franging. But yeah, it's really nice. So there are a lot of highlights in this era. Again, in the fires of Pompeii, we also meet Peter Capaldi, who goes on to be a doctor later. But at this point, he's just like a dude from Pompeii, whose daughter, played by Karen Gillen, who would go on to become a. Amy Pond, one of the doctor's companions in the next season. But as a separate character?

As a separate character. Again, both of these. Wow, love it. So, yeah, Peter Capaldi plays the father of Karen Gillen. Karen Gillen's, like, in this weird sort of sect that, like, they consume the vapors of the fires of Pompeii and it turns like to be an alien thing. There's a lot of rewriting history, like, going back and like, oh, that was actually because of blah, blah, blah, which I really enjoy and love.

Just a lot of that. And, yeah, then Karen Gillen goes on to play Amy Pond, a completely different character. and Peter Capaldi goes on to play The Doctor, number 12, which is really interesting. Wow. Yeah, very cool. Season 4, episode 5 is a big episode because it's called the doctor's daughter. The doctor's genetic material is used to create this like militarized. Yeah, it's not come.

Okay. It's got to be calm, though. It's got to be. It's not calm. His genetic material. His genetic material is used. It doesn't say calm. I didn't say calm.

How did he supply it? He came. but it wasn't come that came out. How many wangs does he have? Two hearts, four wangs. Two hearts, four wangs. Use them in that ratio. Yeah.

Yeah, most people have twice as many wangs as hearts they have. Is that right? That's right. Yeah, that's the thing. It checks out. Anyways, they create, like, a daughter. Essentially, these, like, people without his permission make him a daughter, who is played by David Tennant's now wife, Georgia.

Oh, kudkidok. And she's also the daughter of Peter Davidson, the fifth the fifth act doctor right i knew he had married the daughter of the previous doctor yeah so she's the doctor's daughter but she's actually the doctor's daughter and david ternard like always like he's so like his whole life he grew up wanting to be an actor so he could play the doctor and now he's married to peter davison's daughter and is that why he's in like 50 more series than everyone else because he's like i love this he's like let me hear him he loves it wow that i didn't know that that is for me a fun fact because i didn't know it

I'm actually in charge of fun fact. Sorry, Jess, I didn't check him with you about that. It is a fun fact. It's a fun fact. It's a sweet fact. It's sweet. I think it's really nice. It's real dream come truey.

Yeah. I like it. Is that where they met? He met his wife? It's real true and true. We all want to marry our hero's daughters. I want to marry David Soucher's daughter, of course. I want to be, I want to marry the Rock Dwenson's daughter.

That's not true. I don't want that. I'm sure she's a child, actually. She would not be a woman. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess. Yeah.

could just marry The Rock. Yeah, you could do that. I'll just do that. I'll figure it out. I'll decide. Would you change your name? To Michelle Rock. The Rock.

Dwayne Johnson. Michelle the Rock. Michelle the Rock, Dwayne Johnson. Yeah. Mathieu has Googles. What did you? David Soucher's daughter. Okay.

What year is she born there? 83. Yeah, good year. That's fine. That's okay. That's absolutely there. That's a great year. That's a good year.

All right. There you go. Should we call your wife now? This year is my second wife. Catherine Soucher. It's so nice. Your second wife are your second wang. Exactly.

I should be allowed a second wife. A wife for every wang. A gentleman is allowed one wife per wang. You should take her name. David Soucher. Oh my God. Dream come true. Dream come true.

I'm David Soucher. But then she's married somebody with the same name as her dad. Yeah. And that would feel a bit weird. I wouldn't like being married to a John. Oh. Do we don't have any John's around? You never meet a John, do you now?

We can change David Schochet's name. To? John. John. John Perkins? John Perkins. Or Warnockie Suchet? Maybe he'll take your last name.

Yes. That's a first name. New rule as a thumb that... New rule as a thumb are the father-in-law. Speaking as a thumb. New rule. I've got two of them so I can speak... When does that mean something?

As a thumb? Rule of thumb. Rule of thumb. Rule of thumb. I thought. It took me too long to put together. I was like, where's he put a thumb up from? I missed the essential words of rule of.

But for now I'm just going to say it as a thumb. I was picturing YouTube little YouTube pictures. Thumbails? Yeah. Our brains all went to different places and that's exciting. I mean, it was my bad. Nobody took blame. We didn't go to that different of a place.

No, Matt looked disappointed himself. Like, I can't believe I thought thumbnail. Yeah, it was embarrassing. Anyway, I added all that out. Okay, so we, this is the end for tenant. We're getting towards the end for tenant. But everyone comes back because he's their favorite and they fucking love him. So like all the Torchwood cast are there.

It's like a crossover episode. Sarah Jane Smith is back. Also, spoiler alert, Rose Tyler. What? Returns. She gets back from the beach. From the beach in Cardiff where she's been shunted to. That's awkward with all your exes.

turn up in the same room and you're like, oh. Is that happen to you? Often, Dave. Yeah, they're all there. All 500 of them. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, my God. Relax.

I've got two wings. There's plenty of way for everybody. Plenty of thumb for everyone. Was this peaking in popularity as well? This was huge. This would have been enormous for the country of Britain, great Britain, England. But, okay, so like, we've still got Donna. Noble, it's all very, it's all happening.

Rose and the doctor, they see so that she's running to him and he gets shot by a Dalek. No. Oh, you're kidding. She's cradling him. But he like, so Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood has this weird hand. The doctor is able to like put the energy into the hand. And then Donna Noble accidentally touches the hand and she becomes the doctor.

Oh. She becomes like the doctor, sort of. She's still her. They call her the doctor Donna, which is very clear. I like that. But her human mind is too small to cope with all the information and all the things. And so she's like going to die unless the doctor erases her entire memory of him. Again, very, very sad.

But at least she lives and she will come back. So they go, do you know what? As long as she can never remember me. So he knows her family and stuff. She has this really lovely old granddad who loves looking at the stars. And they're like, all right, you guys can remember me, but she cannot remember me. It's really sad. And she just has an ordinary life.

And you see her and she's always like, I feel like I'm forgetting something. I feel like I'm meant for more. It's really sad. Wow. We also meet Dr. Riversong in this series, who is played by Alex Kingston. She's this mysterious woman. It's a great match for the doctor intellectually. And she's like acting like they've fucked a bunch.

She knows him, but she's like, oh, we haven't met yet on this timeline. But she has a little book that's like her diary and she won't let him read it because she keeps being like, oh, spoilers and that's flirting and I love her. So we're like, oh, who's this woman? And she goes on to be this fun kind of character. And then we have our 11th doctor, Matt Smith, from 2010, 2013. If he was a dog, he'd be a Wymarina, I think. Okay.

26, he's the youngest doctor. Ah, very young. A lot of people were like, too young. Like, a lot of people weren't sure about it. But I liked it because I am young. He'll always be Prince Philip to me. Is that that guy? I don't know if he's Prince Philip, but he's definitely in the program.

Well, okay. He'll always be. He is, he is. He is. He is. Marrick to the Queen Elizabeth second. You'll always be Prince Philip to me. Thank you so much so much so much.

Which was, who's the nonce? Allegedly. Prince Andrew, allegedly. Is it even? You'll always be Prince Andrew to me. Hang on. Well, I thought that you were saying, I don't sweat.

I don't sweat. Is that him as well? Yeah, allegedly. He's a handsome young fellow. He's a handsome young fellow. Good hair. Good bow tie. Good queen.

The bow ties, so sales of bow ties shot through the roof in the UK when he became the doctor because he's one of his first lines is like, I know, wear a bow tie. Bow ties are cool. And then a lot of people bought bow ties. Doctor who said it. He said it. It's cool.

Who said it? It's cool. That is so cute. Yeah. Humans are so funny sometimes. We really aren't. My boyfriend at the time started wearing a bow tie. Of course.

Yep. Is it Tim? Yeah, it's always been Tim. I don't, I call the multibium. He regenerates. He regenerates, but yeah, it's always Tim. It's always Tim. It's always Tim.

He looks different. Sounds different, different family, different, he wants to be called by a different name, but it's always Tim. It's always Tim. Boyfriends are called Tim. That's what I say to everyone. Yeah. So they say, oh, my boyfriend, you know, I'm like, just say Tim. Just say Tim, I know what you mean.

I'll get it. We know who you mean. We know who you're talking about. We're all talking about Tim. So quick summary, Matt became the 11th doctor. Youthful Energy, quirky demeanor, a fun vibe. And he introduced companions Amy Pond, played by Karen Gillen, who is my friend. Yeah.

Who was really lovely. She's really great. She's very funny and she's also kind of like sexy. We meet her and she's kind of sexy. She wears like a big like a big red jumper and this tiny little black skirt and we're all like, oh my God, who's this? And she's kind of confident and she doesn't really need the doctor, which is very fun. And then she's got a boyfriend called Rory Williams. She's from Jumanji.

She's from Jumanji and the MCU. Yep. Who's she in the MCU? Nebula. Nebula. Yeah, she's great. Yeah. Yeah, she's very good actor.

She's lovely person. She's in Doctor Who as well. Yeah. Yeah, she's, I think that's like what started her career in terms of like, like, really elevated her, I guess. I saw a video the other day on TikTok or Instagram of an interview of her talking about exactly that saying it was like the first sort of big proper job she got. Yeah, yeah.

She's really funny. She's really, she's a great. I think I saw a clip of her on one of the American talk shows being very funny. Yeah. Yeah, she's a funny. She's married to a comedian. She's a funny girl. Rory Williams, played by Arthur Darville, another sort of character actor from the UK,

and later Clara Oswald, played by Jetta Coleman, who was very pretty and made me get a fringe when I really didn't need to get a fringe. Yeah. Did she say, fringes are cool? She said fringes are cool and fringe sales shut through the roof. Anyway, we find out more about Dr. Riversong. That's really funny. That really tickled that

You like that Fringe sales One fringe please Oh actually Speaking of fringe Aren't you going to one and saying I'm going to Edinburgh fringe Yeah

Yeah And that's true Like people might be listening to this In 2024 when it comes out But this plug is evergreen Because I'm always going to fringe There'll always be another one There's always another one

There's always a text message For me going Guys can I come on the podcast I do I'm going to be a book coming out. Wait, what's your book? It's called my brother's ashes

are in a sandwich bag. You can pre-order it. Where is it? It's already out pre-sold a really fancy book that actually realized halfway through this sentence I shouldn't have said.

But it's good. It's going well. The Bible? Yeah, the Bible. I didn't want to say it and I don't want to feel bad because like he wrote that book like ages ago.

I think that's a thing like heaps people have already read it. Like I think, but my book is maybe just like nobody's read it yet. Nobody's read it yet. It's fresh. It's exciting.

It's different commandments. Mm. You know? What are your 10? My 10? Yeah. Get a dog. Yep.

Have a sandwich. Kiss each other. We're trying. Yeah. They got to buy the book to get the others. You got to buy the book. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a taste. That's a good taste. When will it be out? September. But you can pre-order it currently. Fantastic. And if you pre-order it, it's really good. If you go into a shop, if you go into your dimics, your readings, you go into that

shop, you say, do you have Michelle Brazier's book? When does I come out? And they say, it comes out September. You say, can I order that? That's the best thing you can do. If you walk in there and you ask them, that's the best, that's the best gift you can give me. Second best you can thing you can do is you can order it online. Third best thing you can do is go into the shop and say, do you have Michelle Brazier's book? And they say, no. And you say, oh, okay, can you let me know when it's in? And you don't have to buy it. That's good. That's good. Yeah. I just get them to order a bunch. May you're three more of your commandments.

We'll just make it clear that they want it. Yeah, buy the book. Tell people you want the book. But yeah, that's the best way to support the book if you want to do that. That's the best way. But yeah, we get to know River Song. She ends up being Amy Pond's daughter somehow, tie me, whimey. Amy Pond and Rory's daughter.

Something, something. I should re-watch that series, but I'm unable to re-watch it now because I am friends with Karen, and so it's weird. Yeah, you can't watch anything your friends are in. No, don't support your friends. consumed any of your work. Yeah, and don't. I don't. I don't look at it.

I come to your live shows sometimes just so, like, you know that I'm there, and I just sit with my eyes covered. I'm like, this is so embarrassing. Thank you, because I always think, oh, Jess is here, cringe. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I hate it. Disgusting.

Steven Moffett took over a show runner during this period. Vincent and the Doctor, beautiful episode played by Tony Curran. I haven't seen that whole episode, but that clip has come up on Facebook. So many times. And it's like 700 million views or something. Yeah, it's really nice. It's lovely, but it's also brutal. because you're like, oh, that would have been nice, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, because he died not knowing. Not knowing. Yeah. Well, that's the whole thing. So he's like, in that episode, he's plagued by like an invisible monster because they're like, we don't want to have aliens in this. And they're like, it's Doctor Who you have to have aliens.

And they're like, fine. So they gave him like, you know, battling invisible demons kind of thing. Right. And it's very really beautiful and well handled and nice. And he's like, doesn't believe in himself and feels really shitty. And everyone's mean to him. And then the doctor takes him to the future to the Doctor Who, to the, to the Dr. Hugh museum. Look how famous I am.

Does that make you feel better? To the Vincent Van Gogh museum. And he's like, look at all these people looking at all your artwork. It's crazy that he wouldn't have been appreciated his time. Look at the pain. He's like, I don't understand how they were quite different. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't understand how it would have gone unnoticed. It happened to so many. Yeah. What's happening to me now? When you die. Yeah. Our podcast is going to really take off. And number one, baby.

Cannot. And Dave and I will continue it. I will be your honour. Please. Who are going to eat it up? Pay tribute. Honor him. I'd love it if you did.

Yeah. I want you to have me stuffed and put in the studio. I mean, if we're being real, if I go, the podcast has to end. Okay, Michelle, please continue. We better edit that out. I don't know if just saying that because on record, I'll say it won't. I think if I go. On record.

I think if I go, the podcast has to end. Okay. If you go to Edinburgh. Yeah, if I go to Edinburgh. So we have to stop it every freaking year. Yeah. Every August. We have to take August off.

Take August off. Oh, good. Let's take the coldest, wettest month in Australia off. Fantastic. Great. Perfect. Yeah. Sorry, guys. Isn't that what you're doing, Jess?

Yeah. Yeah. In 2013, we introduced a new doctor, but this is not the next doctor. So we meet John Hurt. Do you know John Hurt? character actor again really good actor dramatic actor

that's what I call him the John Locker the John Locker The John Locker The Day of the Doctor is a special that aired in November 2013 as part of the 50th

anniversary celebrations of Doctor Who so David Tennant's in this Matt Smith it's called the Day of the Doctor we meet the incarnation of the doctor who blew up the time lords

and this is the war doctor who was there in the war together with David Tennant's doctor and Matt Smith's doctor he's able to rescue Galifrey and the time lords. So they undo the damage, hide it away in a little pocket of times that it will not be destroyed, but I also can't find it.

Billy Piper also comes back. But she's kind of not Rose. It's just kind of, it's a good, it's a very good special, but it's too complex. Yeah. And this is an overview. Okay. Yeah. No, I think it's good because you're leaving some things for us to enjoy for ourselves.

Well, there's a lot for you to enjoy for yourselves, guys. Because I think I'm going to watch this. Do you? You actually? I think that you will like it. but I'll tell you specific episodes that you should watch. Okay. Because I think Blink is a good episode.

Look, watch that episode. Start with that. Then you'll have seen the work of Carrey Mulligan. Then you'll finally find out who this Carrie Mulligan character is. I can't watch anyone who's Michelle's friend. I just can't. Carrie Mulligan isn't my friend. I don't know Carrie Mulligan.

Okay. Yeah. So you can watch any MCU or you can't watch Jammany anymore. No, no. I can't do my weekly watching of Jumangi anymore. Original or remake? The remake. Yeah, the two remakes.

We were surprised I had to do that was. I should be real. I love watching my friends work. No, I was asking. I was a big, I was like a hoovian at the time. And then I had to pretend I wasn't one. And so if I watch it again, I won't be able to look Karen in the eye. And it will ruin everything if that makes sense.

Yeah. You know, it'll just ruin everything. Yeah, she's the kind of person. Is it the vibe I'm getting? She's like a monster. And she's the kind of person if you say, I really liked watching you in something. She will like get, she'll just chop you off.

People always get mad at you. That's the thing. If you say, I liked your work, people, they hate you, they hit you, they fight you, they fight you on it. That's what I find. I normally kiss them. You just kiss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's never liked anything Jess and I have been in, so that's why.

Yeah, we've never, we've just got to keep making stuff. No, they've never said anything to me. They've never said, we liked what you're in. Yeah. We can't lie. Miss Moochin. We have our 12th doctor now after this, Peter Capaldi, again, from the Pompeii episode. He would be a wolfhound if he was a dog.

His doctor is a wolfhound. He's kind of more grumpy. You did skip over Simon Baker. What would he be as a dog? Simon Baker. The mentalist. The mentalist? Liam Baker.

Colin? Colin Baker? Tom Baker. Oh, I didn't do the early doctors as dogs because I haven't spent enough time with them. Right. I can't assign. assign a person a dog off watching a few episodes. I need to deep dive.

Well, I'm going to say Tom Baker is a German Shepherd because they have a little thing around their neck and he wears a scarf. Oh, yeah, okay. What do they have around their neck? That's a little barrel of whiskey. Wouldn't you think that's a greyhound? Superdards. Superdards, yeah, yeah.

Don't you think it would be a greyhound? They're always wearing scarves. Oh, yeah. They get cold. They get cold. You're right. I've got a hat too. Great hands.

What kind of dogs are we? Oh, okay. All right, this, okay, putting it on the spot, so, you know. I think Matt's a wolfhound. Okay. Yeah, Matt's a will found. I think Dave. I bet you Google so many things you've said today.

I think Dave, I think you might be a Boston Terrier. Oh my God, that's good. That is good. Do you look at Boston Terrier? French. It's a Frenchie. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like a Frenchie but different.

Yeah, yeah. Tall. And more. Rounded ears was French sir. Not that one though. Not that one, I'm guessing. Oh my God. The first one needs help.

Yeah, more that one. But smiling. They look a bit like Frenchies, yeah. Very funny. I think Jess is... Beautiful blue eyes. Yeah, like Dave. I think Jess is a border collie.

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. I love border collies. Lassie, Borda collie. Yeah, ish. What kind of dog am I? I'm not as good at this as you are. You've really nailed all of those.

Thanks. I appreciate that. I can keep doing the report and you can tell me if you think of it. Because I almost want to say, but I don't think this is an insult. I almost want to say poodle. No, that's so nice. That's my whole life aspiration is to be a poodle. Yeah, great.

Because I think that is the sort of energy. I can see poth. Lassie's a rough collie. A rough collie. Yeah. Rough collie. Yeah. Ruff collie is a beautiful.

They're the long head. Yeah. Because poodles are smart. Thank you. But they're also like pretty and elegant. And breed with everything. They breed with everything. They're sluts.

They are slats. In a good way. And that's why I'm a poodle. Thank you. Thank you for this. Oh, man. I needed this. That was stressful.

Yeah, but you landed well. Thank God. You brought it. You stuck the landing. That means good, isn't it? Stuck is good. Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. You've done a great landing. You want to stuck it. You don't want to stuff the landing. You don't want to stuff the landing. Oh, no, I've stuffed the landing. So what happened? Oh, pilot stuff to land.

Yeah, land on the roof. So we had to stop the podcast. 12th Doctor, Wolfhound, Peter Capaldi. He's like, fucking great actor, really, really good, very intellectual, very, like, moral dilemma, doctor. This is a very dark season. This is like, you know when Buffy gets to the end of Buffy? You guys all know Buffy? I know Buffy.

It's that kind of vibe. It's very dark and it's very like, oh, he's with Clara Oswald again. They brought it. in heaven and they brought her back tore out of heaven you know it's going to be dark it's so tough it's exactly the period the time period i'm talking about when she was bad she was bad i think it's called but the musical um was so good as well musical was so good and then she finally opens up and and in song talks about how she felt betrayed because they took her out of heaven sometimes you can't speak all you can do sing great episode one of the many great musicals i love and it had that bat from

Doctor Who in it? Yeah. Yeah. And the fat. We also had a new companion. We meet Bill Potts, played by Pearl Mackey, who's really fun, and also gay, the first lesbian companion, I think. Stephen Moffat continued a showrunner, Mark Gaddis, Sarah Dollard.

We get some more, more fun writers. There's a million billion writers. I can't name them all. And we get a new master. And the master is called Missy Now. She's a girl, and she is played by Michelle Gomez, as we discussed before. Who you recognize from something? Yeah, Madame Rouge from the Doom Patrol.

Oh, okay, cool. She's really good. They're really well matched. It's really, really great. 13th Doctor, sorry I know I'm speeding through them, but there's so much plot. Because I do, having never really watched it, I do remember there being a lot of chat in the fandom or maybe, or whatever, about there been a rule that there's only 12 and they're like, how are they going to deal with this? Yeah. We're actually getting close to running through that many now.

So there was, so there's this theory, right, that the doctor, or not a theory, this is not a theory. This is just, this happens in an episode where Clara, one of the companions, they go back to Gallifrey and they beg the time lords for an extra, for more regenerations, because the doctor has spent all of this time, he kind of gets stuck, he has to defend Gallifray or something. And she's like, hey, he did all this hard work. He's going to die of old age because he's literally just been standing. guard, hasn't he earned another regeneration? And they're like, yes. And so we get another doctor. Right. And they're going to have to keep doing that every season now? No, they don't have to because

let me, let me tell you they do not have to. And I will explain. I'll explain. A bit of sizzle. So 13th Doctor, 2017 to present, Jody Whitaker, she'd be a golden retriever. She's very curious. She's very fun. She's not really as dark as the others. She's just like, let's go. Is she a good actor? Because in. Brilliant actor. She's great and board church. Oh, you didn't like her? Well, no, I just wasn't sure if she was a good actor. I think she's an incredible actor. That's what I was thinking, actually, now that you've mentioned.

You weren't sure if she's a good actor. Yeah, or a great actor or an incredible actor. Yeah, yeah. I thought she was better than good. I think you're the first person I've ever heard questioned her acting ability, to be honest. I think she's quite well regarded. That's my understanding. Oh, yeah, no.

She's, yeah. I, you know, I just thought, like that, because I've only ever seen her play one character, and that one character was a mourning. A mum who cries a bit Yeah Cries a bit But just yeah I don't know

Yeah Anna you know She was probably just nailing that sort of Numb Almost numb wooden sort of Um vibe

Which you know If I see her in other things I imagine she'll probably Not be like that And I think she won awards for that Yeah I don't know What I'm talking about I certainly

Yeah You're really backtracking on this Yeah I only because now I found out she's She's incredible Quite fattable Quite fast

Yeah Because I only thought She was really good For years I hated Emily Blunt. Did you? Yeah, because the devil is proud. I was like, she's the fuck him, she's a bitch. I hate her.

And then she appeared in rom-coms and great movies and she's very funny and seems quite nice. And I'm like, oh, you were just acting. Yeah. It's annoying. And it tricked me. They can trick you. They can really trick you, these actors. Sneaky, a lot of them.

Very sneaky. Jody Whitaker became the 13th doctor, making it the first time the doctor was portrayed by a woman in theory. In theory, we also had Joanna Lumley. We also, we'll ruin this in a second. Her era has focused on sort of diverse storytelling or exploring New World's companions were Graham O'Brien, who was the guy who was like from, I don't know, it was like, let me find out. Graham O'Brien.

Bradley Walsh. What was he from? What was his, what's his, what's the, oh, the chase. Is that the chase guy? He's from the chase. He hosts the UK version. Oh. Yeah.

It's the chase. Yeah. He's the one who cracks up in that other clip that always goes. You know, the two clips are always going on. The Van Gogh one. And also the other one is Fanny Schmelo. They're the two clips in the internet. Yeah, those two clips.

But he's really fun. So he's on Doctor Who? He's on Doctor Who. Yeah, he's a companion. He's there. He met Rosa Parks. That's awesome. Yeah, it's really fun.

He was known as the Chase guy. Yeah. Ryan Sinclair played by Tocon Cole and Yasmin Kahn, Mandi, Gil, and Yasmin Khan and the doctor have sort of a romance between them, which is fun. Chris Chibnil has taken over as showrunner at this time, and people complained a lot about this series, probably because she was a woman, which is very boring. They don't like change. Yeah, people don't like change.

But there is definitely, you know, this romance between the doctor and Yasmin, which I think is fun. I think that Jody's doctor is really fun. She meets, again, Rosa Parks. She goes to the Salem Witch Trials, and they meet Alan Cumming, who plays, King James. He's so good. He's so good. A lot of history gets rewritten in this episode, which is really fun.

We get to see a new version of the doctor's youth and find out that maybe the time lords actually were not so great. So we meet another doctor that crosses over with this timeline. Her name's Joe Martin, well, played by Joe Martin, sorry. And she's called the fugitive doctor, which is, I think the idea is she's the one who like ran away from Galefrey. the time. She's a black woman.

So this is like introducing another female doctor and another black doctor, which is very exciting. Is this the doctor? Every time you say a doctor, is this different time? This is all the same person, just at different times. All the same person, but these two are crossing over in the same timeline. Right. So they meet each other.

The doctors have this thing where they can put their memories into a fob what, like an old watch for safety if they need to. forget who they are so much so they protect their identity and then they open the watch and they can come, they do it a couple of times and she's done that. Cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I'd love to do that. Yeah, that'd be nice. I love it because anything's possible. Just what's the episode we want to do? Oh, Rosa Parks. Okay. Well, that means that. Yeah. Yeah. How can we get the doctor involved in this? Yeah, yeah. But imagine if you had that little watch that you could put all your memories in and you just do that at nighttime so that you can go to sleep without thinking about something embarrassing you did

in year nine. Oh, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be nice. And then in the morning, You just open up the thing. You remember it all, you know, oh, God. Oh, you know what I do? Throw away the Fobwatch and just live a happy life. Some would argue that's what I've done. Because I don't remember anything. Yeah, that's true.

We're just eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Yeah. We just chop out every negative memory. Yeah, that would be nice. Beautiful. Anyway, this new doctor, she's like more 1960s. You can tell she's a previous version because she's grumpy like they used to be, a bit more stern, and she's her tartess.

the inside of it looks like the 1960s one because they change with every doctor. That's fun. They get a new update of the interior, which is really fun. The TARDIS just changes itself. Gets a bow tie. It gets a bow tie. Tartas bow tie sales went through the roof. And we get a new master as well played by Sasha Darwin, very unhinged, spoiled brat, which I love.

He finds Galifrey. So you know how we like hit it away, finds it, they go there. And then there's a lot of hatred between him and the doctor. but we find out that actually the doctor is not just like a native Galifrey and the doctor was they've called the doctor the timeless child a few times in a few different episodes they've said the timeless child just like random thing anyway so we find out the meaning of that is this child that was like orphaned this tiny little baby and this people on Galifrey looked at the baby the baby was like able to regenerate into different children and they just did all these experiments on this child

and like made them regenerated killed them killed them over and over and over and over again, force them to regenerate, and then, like, did experiments to try and find out how they were doing in that, and then stole it and injected themselves and then, like, passed it on down the generations of time lords. So it's actually a technology that's kind of stolen from the doctor. So the doctor's the original. Wow. Yeah, which is a big change of canon. Yeah, that's huge. Or some people annoyed at that. Yeah, people get annoyed about everything. Everyone like change. Yeah. Yeah. You know, for the most part, it's fine. And after this season, Jody regenerates, but she turns back into David Tennant.

Oh. Wait, David Tennant comes back for three specials. Whoa. That's fun. And he's like, I don't know why I'm back. I don't know what this is. And then he like finds himself on earth and he meets Donna Noble again. But he's like, oh my God, she can't see me.

The Dr. Donna. He's like, she can't remember me? He runs into her and she's like, can you help me? Like she's just like carrying a bunch of shit. She's like, bug her off. Like she's annoyed at him. She's got a daughter. She's got this daughter called Rose, which is very nice.

Nice. Wait, is this the one about Charles Dickens? Because this is ringing a bell. No, Charles Dickens. Was it a Christmas thing? No. That is a Christmas thing. They always have lots of Christmas specials.

I might have said two episodes because I watched. You might have. Look at him. Prolific watcher. Yeah. You know, this rings about it. This is your favorite show. I didn't know.

I didn't know that why there was the older lady and the younger lady. I didn't realize the connection. It was all very confusing. Yeah. Because she didn't remember him, but I didn't know why. Yeah. No, that's fair. It's confusing.

I might also have not seen it. You might have just been making it up. And that's fine. But Captain Tate has, yeah, this daughter, she's all grown up. She meets aliens in the backyard. She's also, she's a trans, the girl. She's a trans girl. And she's like a teenager.

So like some kids at her school of bullied her. But she can kind of hold her own. She's a cool girl. And I think this is because, like, I think David Tenom might have come back for this because he has a trans kid. And he's very, like, a very outspoken ally. for the trans community. So it's all very exciting.

And then when Donna died, was about to die, she was like glitching and she was like, binary, binary, binary. And then kind of like, they are able to save the world through the power of Rose being non-binary because of the Dr.

Donna being in her DNA and I guess the play on words. It's a little bit cringe, but it's also very, very sweet. Okay. Because it feels very cringe. It's cringe, but it's like, binary, binary. No,

that's like, that happened to age of, And was that planned at the time? No, it wouldn't have been planned at the time, but they would have gone, oh. No. Because when Donna's like glitching out, she's like, to the power of no, binary, binary, binary, and then they're like, oh, no, she's going to die. And then, like, so like, seasons and seasons later, it's quite clever, but it is also like,

yeah, it's very well-rounded and very nice. But it is, it is very heartwarming. I loved it. It's a funny thing. When things are so perfect, they come together, it's like a... Yeah, people always go, oh. Yeah, yeah. You can't help, even though it's so nice.

Yeah, it's not funny. But I also, I was like, okay, but I also was crying. So, you know, it was very lovely. We meet a new villain called The Toy Maker, played by Neil Patrick Harris. Oh. He was really fun. I had forgotten he was in this. He's got all these creepy games and a brand new Disney budget, which is very exciting.

Disney's just bought BBC or whatever. Well, Doctor Who's moved to Disney Plus. I don't know if you've noticed that's moved away. But it's still, you know, very much rooted in the. BBC. And does it still air on the BBC? Do you think in the UK or do they don't get access to it anymore? Oh, I think it does.

Let me check. I can ask the internet. That just would have been sad. It was on the same thing for 60 years and everyone could watch it. And now it's like, sorry, you have to pay $19 a month now. Yeah, you've actually got to be a subscriber. And we're going to up the prices every few months. Yeah, no, I think it's together.

Yeah. Everyone's a winner, baby. Yeah, I think it's friends. That's nice. That's my understanding. But I don't know. Anyway, I don't look into the politics of things. I don't want to look at that.

I only want it to be perfect. but yeah it's very nice and he has a big ray gun he shoots the doctor and the doctor by generates into both David Tennant still existing and and shitty Gatwa who's our new doctor who's our sexy young 30 something again we've got a young doctor he is gorgeous confident really great yeah and they are just so sorry I'm so yeah there's two of Curious. So, and is it just so David Tenet can come in for a few episodes of time? I reckon, yes.

I reckon that's exactly what it's like, yeah, what it's for. And David Tennant can also, like, in theory, like, go hang out with the Dr. Donna now because she can live with it because of the power of Rose, her daughter. And we see Rose a few times. Like, Rose comes back. She starts working with Unit. Oh, cool. Yeah.

So it's really fun. And then now we have in Shitty, which is really exciting. It's like this, we also have Jinks Monsoon as a villain in the new. series. So you can start from zero with this new series. Once you've got, once you get to Shudy, it's like, okay, clean slate, we'll explain it all, whatever you need. A new companion called Ruby Sunday. Who's, who's that, Jinks Monsoon? Jinks Monsoon is a drag queen. I was going to say, that's like a James Bond name. It's awesome. It's so good. Yeah, it's a really, really good name. I mean, you know what? James Bond names and drag names, similar vibe. Very similar.

Yeah, yeah. That's true. Octopussy. Octa pussy. Actor pussy. Great drag name. Goldfinger. Yep. Yeah. These good drag names. I'm all with characters rather than movie names on Her Majesty's Secret Service.

A lot of vagina. Ruby Sunday was the... Ruby Sunday is the new companion name. It's a great companion name. That's great too. Ruby Sunday. She's played by Emily Gibson. She's fun.

She also sings. She's kind of cute. There's a musical episode with Jinks Monsoon plays The Maestro, who's kind of evil. It's very Who Framed Roger Rabbit this episode. Cool. And it's a musical episode. They Meet the Beatles. but the Beatles, they go back in time and all the music's shit.

And the music's like, the Beatles are there. And they're recording like, we're going to watch the Beatles. And the Beatles like, oh, I've got a dog and my dog's called Trevor. Like, it's just real shit. And they're like, oh, we have to save music. It's very fun. Very fun. Very fun.

I like that. Very camp. There's an episode called Dot and Bubble, which is my favorite episode, which is about, it's kind of about like being online. There's this community of, like, young people who live on a planet and they're always living in this bubble. And you notice after a while, you're like, oh, everyone is, white and it becomes sort of like oh okay I wonder if that's accidental or if it's just like a thing it does seem very white and at the end of it the doctor saves the day and they want and

he can save their lives and they won't come come with the doctor because they're racist and's really interesting and apparently that was shooties and shooties first day on set for shooting the scene where they say we can't come with you we can't travel with you we appreciate what you've done but it is your duty to look after us and like well we can't come with you and and and it's It's this really beautiful, powerful scene. And it's just nice to address it, I think. Yeah, yeah. Because of the people online and things like that.

You think it's beautiful that a whole planet died? Yeah. A planet of racist Matt. Oh, okay, yeah. Racist content creators, Matt. Okay, wow, okay. It's fine. We don't need them.

Don't worry about them. And there's like a Bridgeton ebb where Ruby Sunday's like, oh my God, it's like Bridgeton. Like, it's very much like that. The Doctor meets Jonathan Groff. Do you guys know Jonathan Groff, music theater, Yes. Tony winner.

Yeah, Tony winner. Thank you. And the doctor and Jonathan have the doctor's first romance. He's like a bounty hunter, very Captain Jack Harkness vibes. What a hot couple. It is such a hot couple. And he like, he leaves. He like sacrifices himself.

But he's, you know, shot out somewhere in the world. And his last words are like, find me. And it's very sexy. And it's like, yeah, he's going to find you. I'm really excited. It's really nice. Very cute. No, I don't make.

So we have our first gay black doctor, which is really exciting. How many? We've had straight black. doctors? Well, I actually don't know. Yeah, I think she has a husband. Oh, yeah, right.

I think she had a husband. Oh, but that was, yeah, I don't know. That was the 60s, though. Could have been a beard. No, what was it? Could have been a beard. Isn't that right? Yeah, if you want.

Yeah. But yeah, there's a lot of celebs. I just like people talking about beards. Yeah, I like it too. You got a great beard, Dave. Thank you. But yeah, celebs, celebrity appearances. We got Matt Lucas, Alan Cumming, Simon Pegg,

Neil Patrick Harris, Jinks Monsoon, Kylie Minogue, she plays a maid on the Titanic, which is their spaceship version of the Titanic in Voyage of the Damned. Voyage of the Damned is a special that you could buy tickets to see at the cinema. It's like a Christmas special and I entered a Woman's Day competition 26 times to win tickets and I won 26 times. And the cinema was very anti. But it gets a... phone as well. Hello again.

It was like a text. It was like a text. Yeah, I guess no one entered. I guess the crossover of Doctor Who and Women's Day is not that big. That's so great. And I'm guessing 25 of your friends wanted to come. I brought four friends who have not seen Dr. That is so cute.

You have to call up and give 21 tickets back. Yeah, it's really funny. It was very fun to watch this. I was so excited and it was a real like, I love the doctor because listen his whole power is like he's very kind they're very nice

they just help people they don't use weapons I think he's been a big good influence on me and I think it's also meant because I was so attracted to David Tennant's doctor I think it meant that I was never attracted

to like mean-spirited men or like men who weren't like good people I think that really helped program me you hate a bad boy I hate a bad boy you say oie park within the lines park in the lines

get out for a reason The lines, I knock on the window, I say, Gidey, mate. Lines are here for a reason. Yeah. You got a real problem with Dave, don't you? Yes, he's a bad boy. I know, I'm just a bad parker.

Just can't get it in the line. I try. This is eight attempts. Anyway, this has been my report on Doctor Who, and as Stephen Spielberg allegedly once said, the world would be a poorer place without Doctor Who. Oh, that's nice. I think that's true.

He has a lot of people. Senior Spielberg of himself, incredible. It does make me want to be one of it. watch it as all of these sort of reports about a franchise like this do. It's very silly. There's lots of silliness. It's comforting to know I could pick it up like current, with this current season and give that a go.

You can start from now. You can start from now. But you just have to go in with a sense of whimsy and knowing that they know it's funny. Yeah, yeah. They know. It's silly. It's silly. I've got great memories because of growing up with that videotape that I just watched over and over again,

the Five Doctors. and then my high school girlfriend's family were into it and they used to have... She was a mop, though. Every, no, this is pre-mop. This is more of a dustpan and broom. And her family would watch it every Sunday night and cook a curry and they called it Doctor Who curry. That's beautiful. And we sit down in front of the TV and watch Doctor Who.

That's cute every week, weekly. Yeah, that's fucking adorable. I was in, on the UK tour, my friend Ben Crompton, who was in Game of Thrones and Doctor Who. and he had us over for drinks after my show. He came to the show. He was like, come back, see the house, see the kids. I know his kids and his wife. So come and see everyone.

We go in there. Their house is so beautiful. I was like just missing home. They've got the most beautiful house. It's like kind of like the Weasley house if you do know Harry Potter. It's very like lovely and just beautiful, lots of stuff. The kids one by one file into the kitchen and they're like, we're watching Doctor Who. And we're like, oh, great.

So we go upstairs and they're like talking about they play the record of Dr. Who. Ben's showing me stuff from his time on Doctor Who. It was just very like, but not in a way that's like, it just felt very like wholesome and lovely and family. And I was like, oh, I wish I had a TV show that my family and I loved. It was really nice. It was exactly what I needed.

Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, it was very sweet. I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to do it. It brings families together. It brings families together. Everyone can watch it. Get into it.

I like it. Any episodes with monkeys? There'll be episodes with monkeys. Yeah, there are definitely episodes with monkeys. Let me have a think. But there'll be some monkey episodes for sure. Sick. Yeah.

There's one that there's like a rip in time and they're in like a jungle. Okay. Yeah. I love jungles. Oh, yeah. I love anything set in a jungle. Yeah, me too. Big time.

All those rock things where, yeah, I'm thinking of Jamagie, basically. All those rock things. Yeah, yeah. Those, yeah, those kind of action comedy in a jungle. That's my favorite. Big fan. Have you seen the one where Sandra Bullock and, I want to say, Channing Tatum? No, I haven't.

Yes. Daniel Radcliffe is good. Daniel Radcliffe is the bad guy. Yeah, it's fun. Daniel Radcliffe's a great bad guy. Yeah, very fun. Tony winner. Tony, when you're, Daniel Radcliffe.

Jess is really into the Tonys. I just thought. You should do an episode on the Tonys. I don't know anything about the Tonys or musicals. You know two things about the Tonys. True. Just the name is funny enough to me. The Tonies.

Yeah. We want a Tony. Yeah. And in the UK, you can win a Dave. Dave's pretty good. What can I win a Dave? I've already got a Dave. I've already got a Dave Comedy Award.

There's Dave Comedy Channel, right? Yeah. Sponsored by Dave. What did I say? What did you say? I've already got it, Dave. Thank you. And I'm patting him in quite a patronizing way.

But he likes it. I like that. Thank you. What a fantastic report. Love that, Michelle. I'm sure other people, the people out there will too because they love the fast and the furious episode. And Doctor Who has as many, if not more fans. It's beloved.

It is beloved. People love it. It is beloved. And throughout the generations to it, there's got to be one of the longest running media franchises in history, right? Yeah. Yeah. It is.

It's got to be up there. Yeah. It absolutely is. I think people are going to be mad at me for not including as much, but there's only so much I can say. Exactly. No, I think, yeah, I think if this is, look, I learned from the Riverdance episode that don't listen to episodes of this podcast about things that you are passionate about and know a lot about because it will hurt you.

You can do your own. And things always get left out. And they have an entire Doctor Who podcast where weekly they cover it. So there's thousands of hours. It's too much. But you did a great overview, I thought. Yeah. For somebody like me who has felt interesting.

intimidated by it or hasn't watched any of it. It feels like a nice little introduction that I'm like, okay, this doesn't seem so scary now. There's no scary. So, Michelle, this part of the episode is where a lot of people skip to it. It's most people's favorite part of the episode. So I would actually plug your show and stuff again now. Now, the show and book.

For the November fringe. Buy tickets to my Edinburgh fringe show. If you live in Edinburgh, you can get cheap tickets because if you put in your postcode apparently. But do please book ahead. It makes me feel normal and fine and get my book, which is called my brother's actually going to get a sandwich bag. And we love that.

And what's the name of your show and what venue are you on that this year? Legacy is my show. It's on it Gilded Balloon, Paterhus, not TV. They don't have TV at this year. It's being renovated. That's not my fault. It's not my choice. It's not your fault.

I'm in Paterhus. And there's nothing we can do about it. Beautiful. Check it out. Enjoy yourself. So in this section, Michelle, we thank some of our great Patreon supporters. And if they want to get involved in any new listeners, go to Patreon.com slash Tugwompod. and you can sign up on a bunch of different levels of different things there.

Like you get now four bonus episodes a month. We're now doing an episode where we are doing a D&D campaign with Adam Kanavali. There's a great dungeon dragon. What a great dungeon dragon. And Master. And he, yeah, so much fun. I get to vote on topics, all these other things. You get access to the kind of corner of the internet.

Yeah, the Facebook group. Facebook group. Do you say vote on topics? Vote on topics. You get early access to tickets. You first know about them. You get discounted tickets to live shows, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It pays for itself sometimes.

Oh my God. Easy. But the first thing we normally do in this section is the fact quote or question section, which actually has a jingle. Go something like this. Fact quote. Question. D.

He always remembers the ding. Huh. They always remember the sing. And that is actually. inspired that melody by widget the World Watcher, one of my early crushers. Oh, yeah. If you look at the character widget, you'll find that to be... Deeply erotic.

Deeply erotic. Oh, my God, that is a hot thing. That's a hot thing. Yeah, I mean... Look this purple thing. Yeah. There he is as a... He's an octopus.

Yeah, my God. Mammoth at one point. He's everything. All right. So we get four people who write in each week. On the Sydney-Shyneberg level or above, give us a fat quota question or a brag or a suggestion, or really whatever they like. They also get to give themselves a title. And I'll rate them out for the first time on the show that's just to excuse me for any sort of fumbles or whatever.

The first one comes from Michael Derizzi, aka fart knocker. That's the title Michael's given themselves. Fart knocker. Fart knocker. Yeah. I guess that, like a fart critic maybe. Oh, yeah, okay. We'll find out maybe.

Call that a fart. That's all of stuff. Anyway, got a confession. I said, Matt, please do your best Sam Peterson for this. Okay. What's my Sam Peterson? Caracy. That'd be Caracy.

This next confession, absolutely crazy. This next confession comes from Michael. This. Michael writes. Confession. Michael writes. From the good people. That's it.

Reddit.com. Michael writes, Cast your mind's back. No, I can't do it. To the fall of 1999. Costumines back. Casture mine's back. To the fall of 1998.

Big sure that's a great man, St. Pearson. We love you. The movie Rush Hour was top of the box office. Sher had the best selling single with Believe. Believe. And I was at the top of the world in the fourth grade. I'd earn the nickname Fart Knocker because I loved to fart. Oh, sure.

At recess one day, me and my. friends were chasing girls. And that's when inspiration struck me. I wanted to live up to my nickname and fart on one of the girls. I had it all planned out. I would smack my butt and push out the fart. Sorry, is this a break? It was a confession. It was a confession. I'm not sure. I think the tone is probably the Michael's not super proud of us. Okay, let's hit the squeeze it out. Only something went wrong, very wrong. Oh no. This happened to me recently. I don't want to talk about it. Are you trying to fart on a girl?

Yeah. When I pushed, yes, I farted, but something more came out. No! Something solid. What? What? You'll never guess it, but I shit my pants. Oh my God, what? I guessed it.

I've never told anyone. Michael, I guessed. But I think they somehow knew. Because you shat on them. He pooed on them. He didn't poo on it. Just pooed near a girl. And if you've been into a women's toilet, you've done that.

I've never been into a toilet. It's a lawyer-level toilet. defense. That is incredible. Who here can say they have a chat next to someone in a cubicle? What is the difference? I ask you. Uh, Michael, thank you so much for getting that off your chest. Thank you for being brave. I hope that feels better now that we all know that, Michael. And we forgive you. Yeah. Are we allowed? We've got the power to forgive like a priest or something. I think, yeah, I think just do 12 Hail Mary's. Yeah. Yeah, that should be enough. You were listening at that party. I was. Thank you so much.

Michael, the next one comes from Charity Rose. Another fantastic name. Not Charity Rose. No, Dr. Doctors. Yeah, no nickname needed. That's incredible. That's great.

Charity Rose, okay, senior vice president of the rubber baby buggy bumpers factory. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. And Charity's got a fact writing, hello, Jess, Matt and Dave and Michelle. I don't think she said that. Don't include me. Don't put words. in her mouth. You don't know what they wrote.

Can you see it? I'm looking on here. Blip bo blip. Yep, it says Ann Michelle. Okay. I'm excited to be writing my first fact quote or question. In preparation for your fingers crossed, upcoming USA tour, Dave, maybe you can give an update after this. I thought I would fill you in on some very important laws in some of the states.

Hope this helps. Also, I wanted to tell you that I currently live in Indiana, but I was, born and raised in God's country. Ohio? Oh, bloody hell. Wow. You're just traveling your life down the golden mile.

All right. Here's some interesting laws. In Arkansas, you can't honk your horn near a sandwich shop after 9 p.m. I think it's fair enough. Okay. You're a sandwich shop specifically. Okay. Flat-knit Sanger.

Yeah, I guess Subway's a sandwich. But they call different things, like they call burgers sandwiches. Yeah, there's a difference between a burger and a sandwich, but. I don't know what it is because we would call it all a burger. I think they call the patties of burgers maybe or something like that. Okay. And then they have it in a sandwich. I don't know.

I don't know. In California, it's illegal to whistle for a lost canary before 7 a.m. Are you winding us up, charity? Before 7 a.m. But starting when? 7 a.m. tomorrow? Before 7 a.m. now? It's too late.

Am I breaking the law of a whistle for my canary? Yeah, don't do that. It's not on. country. It's not on. What a country. In Indiana, it's illegal to ride a horse above 10 miles per hour. I knew that.

You got to have your speedo on your horse. Found that out the hard way. Wee, weo, weo. We clocked you at 12. It's hard to train a police horse to make that noise, but they do it. In Louisiana, it's illegal to send a surprise pizza. It's a surprise. Surprise pizza.

Pepperoni. I'm gone. I'm gone. Oh, guys, it's my birthday week. You want to surprise pizza? Yeah, I won't surprise pizza. It's legal here. It's legal here. It is.

Check. We haven't checked that. We haven't checked that. Please check. In New Jersey, it's unlawful to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a crime. Take it off. That the crime isn't illegal. But like, you're like, no, I don't have a bulletproof vest on it's a legal crime.

I'm allowed. I'm like, well, are you a Jay Walkin? And now I've got you wearing a bulletproof vest at the same time. Two counts. It's two charges. That's jail for life. Two strikes in your gold. In Ohio, it's illegal to sell chickens that have been died.

I think that's just, that makes sense. You can't fake it. Have died or been died? D-Y-E-D. Like a tie-d. Oh, that'd be cool. No, they have to be naturally tie-dye. Rainbow chicken.

In Rhode Island, it's illegal to race a horse on a highway. Okay, that one speaks for itself. Yep, that makes sense. In South Dakota, it's illegal to sleep in a cheese factory. You get two streams We can't trust you in there Oh and in Dave's favourite state Vermont Yes

Don't tell me something about a creamy You can't have sex with the creamy It's illegal Please don't tell you can't have sex with the creamie Dave when we eventually get to the US Do you want a moment alone with your creamy? Yes I do

Can we all have enjoy creamy first Before you enjoy creamy alone And in Vermont It's illegal for women to wear fake teeth without their husband's approval. Oh, wow. That is good. Yeah, that one makes sense.

That I agree with. Because your husband will be, he'll be truthful with you. He'll be honest. He'll say, if you're pulling it off or not. They look terrible. Don't go out of those. They'll say, thank you. Thank you for being honest.

It hurts, but I appreciate the honest. Yeah, great. Thank you so much, Charity, Dave. Do you have an update on the USA? We're going to Europe instead. The USA. Did you just, it's, oh, God, this is off pod talk, but I'll help you with your visa. Will you?

Yeah, I already. I told Jess, I'd help. What? This is happening. You just need a really good touring company that can sort your visas. You don't need the visas you were trying to get. You don't need those. You can get us in touch with the good touring company.

I know the president and I can get you special. The president of touring? Yes. Wow. You just need a wink and a smile. Thank you. We're really good at winking. Really good at winking.

Are we leaving any of that on pod so that we've answered charity's question? Yeah. Yeah, we can leave that. on. Yeah. You haven't said anything you want. I steered it in a playful direction. Okay.

And it was fun. Thank you so much, Charity. Next one comes from having heard this name in a while. Kevin Ulysses Packrad. Oh, Kevin's back. Is that a real name? Yes. Great name, isn't it?

We remember Kevin well because of that incredible name. Very jealous. I'm sure you suggested a bunch of early-ish topics that we did. Yeah, I reckon we used to shout out to Kevin a lot. Yeah. Can I also shout out to all the patrons who came to my UK tour? Please, yes. Thank you so much for coming.

It was very lovely. The last one. Yeah, last one. And the ones are about to come. And the future ones. Yeah. Very, very kind. I love seeing you.

Oh, yeah. What's your rule? We normally try and ask, what's your rule about? Is it, are you comfortable with them coming up and chatting? Oh, yeah, but I invite the audience up at the end of every show to come and chat. But I love it. I love it. I love it.

Speaking of shoutouts, I've just looked up how many people suggested, Dr. Who and 52 have come up. So a big shout out to all 52 of you. Wow. We appreciate you. You're going to rip through? It will take them. I don't know that lots of people had like

requested it. That might be the most requested ever, is it? Oh my God. If you had told me it was the most requested, I would have spent more time on this. I wouldn't have just written it down from my brain knowledge. It's probably come up 52 times because I've also mentioned it in the subject and they might also have like links that say Doctor Who in it as well.

True, but I will say we'll give at least one shout out here because the most recent came on the 31st of May this year and their suggestion is Doctor Who in brackets featuring Michelle Brazier. And that is Zach Pryor from Leeds. Thanks, Zach. He's the only person to suggest Michelle do it. Good to see you in Leeds.

We're dedicated to us. Thank you, Zach. Appreciate that. Yes, I think I saw that. I think you maybe tweeted us that or something. Yeah, because we've met. I think we met. And you said, yeah, make it happen.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe we chatted on the internet. I think he came to Leeds and I think that I posted something of Cardiff, that was a Huvian place. And he was like, you're a hoovian. I was like, yes. And he was like, do the report. I was like, I'll text Jess.

And here we are. Here we are. Okay, so Kevin Packrad has got the title, Kevin Packrad, The Return. Yes. And it's a quote writing, hello, how is it going podcast people? You may recognize my name as I was a Patreon supporter for many years, but I've not been around since 2020, being that I was a broke college student and the whole thing about a global pandemic, making it very hard to do much of anything prevented me from doing much of anything.

specifically making money. Fair enough. I think it's very funny that I was a patron for so long because I was in high school. I don't know. I was his picture in, I don't know. Kemp, how did you pull that off? Did that picture of high school?

No. Well, he's not paying rent, is he? True. Take me back. All the pocket money is going to pay. I appreciate that, Kemp. He says, and what right does a high school have

to make financial decisions like supporting a podcast? In America, I guess, that's just an example of what a youngster can do. exercising their constitutional rights. They love freedom. Oh, yeah. I've got the hat open, as I said before, and I've just done a quick little search for Kevin Packrad.

85 suggestions and counting, Kevin. Thank you so much. Incredible. That's an incredible contribution. I also put my name as Kevin Ulysses Packrad, which is funny because that's not my middle name. But I suppose it's a self-proclaimed nickname. I can't take it off now.

Now, anyway, isn't it crazy that it's been four years since then? Yes. Graduated college in that time, not to brag. I have a degree in English literature. Isn't that weird? Congrats. I know so much about books and writing that it could probably fill multiple books if my shelves are anything to go off anyway.

This is a brag, but I've read the novel Ulysses by James Joyce twice in that time. Twice. Having attempted to read it multiple times in high school. All the while, though, I've not stopped the same. to the podcast. My life of the past four years has been filled with the sounds of your guys' voices. And I know a lot of people say this, but I'm devoted to it at this point in a way which is different from most other things in my life.

And I would like to thank you for being there whenever I needed someone to make me laugh and bring levity into my life. You've practically molded a part of my sense of humor and I'm eternally grateful for the sense of curiosity your podcast is imbued in my life. mind. Sorry for getting soppy for a second. Guys. I'm crying too. And the long message, but I picked a quote in the little section above. So here is a quote from Twin Peaks, one of my favorite TV shows, uh, created by David Lynch, which I highlight, I recommend highly. The quote comes from special agent Dale Cooper named after DB Cooper. And I think they are very good words

live by. This is the quote. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Oh. That's so nice. This is so nice, you guys. What a lovely message. You're his Doctor Who. Kevin, thank you. It's so nice to have you back, Kevin.

Not that you ever left, but you know what I mean. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome home, Kevin. Yeah, Kevin suggested a topic just this week. Awesome. Well, yeah, you don't have to be a patron to suggest a topic. Oh, that was last year.

Sorry, 2023. This week last year. Wow. Kevin, a happy one week anniversary for suggesting that topic that time. The last fact, what a question for this week comes from James Edwards. Words. Oh, you want James, and I know this is going to sound bad, but James has a great laugh,

and it's probably sounds weird that I know how our listeners laugh, but it's only because he had a particularly big, good laugh. Okay, that's good. I think he'd be a real boon for your show. Yeah, you want James in the audience. James writes, cool, this is James' title, Cool gay uncle of the pod. Yes, I will take you shopping after brunch.

Yes. Thank you, cool gay uncle. Everyone needs one. And James got a question writing, I'm a big purple genie. You each have three wishes, but you can't wish for more wishes because that would be dumb. What will you wish for?

I'll respond in a future fact quota question to tell you the impact of the wishes you make. Love you all. Hope life is treating you well. Oh, wow. Three wishes, Dave. Is it to marry David Soucher's daughter? Can you just wish for all your dreams to come true and then that would be encapsulated? Yeah.

Or are you going to wish for kisses from Matt and I? Cool, one kiss from each of you. If you do all your dreams to come true, then, like, what kind of dreams have you had before that you wouldn't like to come to? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. I think James is going to monkey porous. Yes. I think so, too.

All right, I'm going to go, I'm going to go for ones that can't go wrong. World peace. Yeah. Oh, fantastic. Good one. Overpopulation. Endless. Everyone to be happy.

Uh-huh. and the San Suina Premiership. Okay, he said wish is not miracle. I want to be, my first wish would be, I would like to be able to sing. I don't know what my second wish would be. I reckon, you know. But my third wish. Do you ever see those hypothetical things of like you can pick one and they give you like five,

you can pick two and they give you five options and one of them is often like free flights forever or something? Maybe it would be that. Free flights forever? Maybe it would be nice to be able to like teleport, sure, but sometimes I like the process of the travel. You've got to be specific though, I reckon. Business class. You.

Safe is too much. But it'll be like, free flights forever, no worries. We've got the catapult waiting for me. That's how you have to travel. Free business class on a real plane. He's going to make you grow bug wings. Yeah. And like, yeah, you can be stuck to the plane.

Yeah, yeah. And then, I don't know what my third one would be. What would it be? You can keep thinking. I keep thinking, Dev, you think of one. Okay, I'd like to be able to teleport anywhere in the world with anyone I want. Yeah, that's great. And take them with me.

Yeah. And we don't have to be naked. We don't get hurt or anything when we land. Okay, James? Specific, wasn't it? That's specific. We don't have to be naked. But it helps.

But if we choose to be, so be it. And if I could have one more turkey on rye. The Simpsons. This is dry. It's a monkey poor. I've seen him. I've seen the Simpsons. And then he ended up eating a sign.

All right, how about this? How about this? I'd love to have a card. I'd love to have a card that whatever, whatever bakery I go to, they have to give me a free pie. Ooh, that would save you a lot of money. A lot of money. But the business doesn't get affected by it. Like the government or something pays for it.

It's subsidized. It's subsidized by the government. And I would like to be six foot nine. Jesus, that's too tall. That is too tall. Too tall. Sue me. Sue me.

No offense to our long. listeners out there. That is an inconvenient height for travel, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're in business class for me. But you're not in business class. Yeah, you're off teleport. You don't need to travel.

I don't need to get scrunched up over. I never got a scratch. Michelle, do you have any wishes that you would go for? Tim asked me a hypothetical the other night. He said, would you rather that cats, like, cats outnumbered dogs 8 to 1 or all dogs are the same size as a Shetland pony? And I said, I would love all dogs to be the same size as a Shetland pony. It's easy.

And he said, do you know how big a Shetland pony is? I said no. But I think that's my first wish. All dogs is Shetland pony size. Shetland pony size. That was meant to be like a would you rather be like, I really like one of these options. I was like, it's clear to me. So you know.

You've offered me shit in chocolate. Yeah. You know my dog very well. Yeah. Imagine giant goose. I mean, he already can basically bowl you over. Yeah. You would like him to be bigger.

Yeah. Yeah. It's all dogs. It's all dogs. You're looking up how much Shetland ponies weigh. No, I just, I'm mad a big dog They're very long So sausage dog is as long as a Shetland pony

Yeah It's like there's a snake It's like a python You might need more legs We can work on the design It's a millipede Yeah, millipede That's what I want

I'm into this But it was like so Have you met this dog before It's a bit of a comedy going dog Yeah, that's Rupert Yeah, Rupert Yeah, that's a Great Dane That's not a Shetland pony

That's a great day That's close Great Dane's a fucking huge They are, a big. Its heads like twice as... I've puppy sat, Rupert before. I've had him in my house. What a beautiful dog.

Which is just a normal human-sized house. Oh my gosh, I've just thought of one. Can I take back the high one? Yeah. I would like... Because it's insane. Yeah, take me the hot one and I'd like Humphrey, our dog, to live as long as we do. I was thinking that too!

I would like for my dog to live as long as me, but also be healthy the whole time. Oh, can I write that in James? I wrote that in two. And also... I don't have to be... Like to ageing for 70 years and it's like decrepit and the dog's like, please put me home. Yeah. Yeah.

I want Goose to be like this for my whole life. Also in brackets, the dog can be euthanized if we need it. It's not like, you know, you take it to the vet. They're like, sorry, this dog is invincible and it's suffering. Yeah, no, you don't know. I don't want to. Well, why don't you just say it doesn't get sick? Yeah, it doesn't get sick.

It doesn't get sick, but I can still euthanise if I need to. It's really convenient. Because that did sound like, because I might be get a job overseas for a bit. Yeah. Well, it's not. Because, yeah, you can teleport. But I want to change my business class one to, like, goose can come on business class. Because if I've got goose forever, I would like him to send a little.

I'm not sure if you've just kept under the three wishes. No, I think Jessica have, I would like business class tickets for me and my family including your dog. I reckon you can have that. Imagine goose at the Oval Tower. Put him in a little boy. He's fresh. He's French. He's the best.

Borsesu. Do you have it? You've got two more. I have two more wishes. I think so. You got big dogs. Big dogs. All dogs, big.

You said Eva lives forever. And she's healthy and happy. Oh no, don't say forever. And happy. As long as you live. Otherwise, but she's healthy and happy. Not forever.

And everything's gone to shoot. But what if you go before Tim? Can Tim still have it? She goes when the last of you goes. Eva goes with the last of us. Perfect. I think that's good. Yes.

You know how you have named your dog's Bruce and Eva? Is that after the Saints fan Bruce Eva? If you want. Yeah, if that's what you want. That I can feel good. I didn't name either of my dogs. Bruce was a rescue and Eva was a failed guide dog. So they came like to find.

It was just fate. They named after this guy. There was just fate. And what a twist of fate. What are the odds? Bruce Eva. That's sports journalist Bruce Eva. That's your two dogs mush together.

That is my two dogs mush together. Okay. My third wish is for my two dogs to be mushed together into a space. No, that's not true. That's bad. Take it back. That's not true. I take it back.

My third. wish is to be, is to always have enough money to solve my problems, but not so much that I start creating problems for other people. Oh my God. That's beautiful. What a beautiful amount. But James could fuck you with that. How?

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I think you might have. Well, it'd be interesting to find out. Yeah. See you at my Edinburgh fringe show James. Yeah.

You better get on a plane. Bring that big laugh with you. Yeah. You know what I think would be nice? It's like because I'd still like to work and do stuff, but it would be nice to just have like, for some reason I want to say 10 grand a month just is in my bank account,

just appears a 10. That's what rich people have. They get that on interest. They just make that. They're just making that all the time. I've got back up. I think you should get 100 grand every month. No, that's too much money.

I think you should get 50 grand every month. You guys think about inflation in the future. 50 grand. I'll save it. I'm still working and doing stuff. What can you say index? You will not save it. Oh, that's good.

When I got a new July suitcase, you went to July, you bought everything they have. That's true. You will not save it. That's true. You like treats and so do I. Okay, well, as long as I close down all the July stores, then I'll be fine. Do you know what that means? If my problem is, my friend Jess doesn't have enough money, then I have enough money to save it.

July. July. And so Michelle. It's a great luggage, a brand. Oh, so Michelle was buying something and you went along and then you end up spending all your money to. Of course. Of course. We like nice things, Dave.

We like nice things. Is that a crime? I was actually hashtag gifted. Yeah. Hashtag. I had to hashtag buy it. Thanks to James. High tag full pros.

Hashtag full pros. Thanks to James, Kevin, Charity and Michael for those questions. We still have a couple more things to do. One of them is thank a few of our other great patron supporters. Jess on we comes up with a bit of a game based on the top of game. Maybe we can get Michelle to give them something. Yeah. A song.

A song. A bear. Do you want to link it at all to do? Doctor Who? Yeah. I'll sing their name in the tune of the Doctor Who. Okay. I don't think we can top that.

No, I don't think. We get to use your talents, I imagine that. All right. Well, if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Box Hill here in Melbourne, Paris Turner. Paris Turner. Ooh. That's the best of. Thank you so much, Paris,

Great, guys, I think eight more of these to do. From address unknown can only stream from deep within the fortress of the moles. I would love to thank Edie Bronstain. Edie Bronsty! What about as an alternative if you want to mix up a bit, you could also say their name in the style of Dalek exterminate? Um, no. Ead from steam

I want to hear your impressions And final for me from Chattanooga Chattanooga From Barnaby Joyce From Tennessee in the United States It's Joseph Nataro Joseph Nataro

Joseph de Taro Were you one of the Were you on mad itself for that? I was yeah Part of movie, yeah It's very funny Whenever Sean McAuliffe said Barnaby Joyce, it would cut to a black and white footage of me, Christy and Emily singing, is that the Tadinooby-Too too-to.

Because they say in the song is Pardon me, boys? I didn't get it for so long. I didn't think I got until, I thought it was just funny. I think because you were confused by it, I messaged Michelle and she explained it to us. Maybe that's how I. You think that's it. I spoke to her. I thought it was just a like.

It's like a, you know, a non-secretor sort of thing. That's funny. But it's, um... Pardoned me boys. It sounds like part of me boys. Pardon me boys. Is that the chat of new? Good you too.

May I thank some people as well? I'd love it if you did. Can I please thank? Thank you. Farnham in Surrey. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wonder melon rich. Wonder melon rich. Ooh. Oh, but um, Bob. Oh, but, but, um. Also for me, from deep within the,

The Fortress of the Moles, aka Address Unknown. I would like to welcome in or thank Susan Carson. Susan Carthens. I'm going to move through the melody now. Oh, yeah, nice. Okay. And finally, from Knoxville, Tennessee. Home with the Wigsphere.

Please thank. Dean Bruce and Lou. Dean Bruce and Lou. Oh, that's exciting. Someone will be able to edit it all together. I don't do that. someone could do that. I don't know.

How would they do that? How could they do that? That doesn't make sense. I don't know. I don't think I've said in the same key. They'll be able to pitch it up. Finally, we'd like to thank three more people. From me, I'd like to think from Madison, Wisconsin.

Big shout out to Robert Gosselin. Robert Gosselin. Woo! Good on you, Robert. Yeah, you guys have to do the woo. It's a recall and response. Yep. I'd like to think also from Haysville, North Carolina.

A big thank you to Keith Denebeam or Denebime. Keith Denebeam or Denebime. Thanks, Keith. And finally, from Sacramento in California, big shout out to all-in-capitals, ECW. ECW. A lot of U.S. shout-out of U.S. shout out today.

And what great timing on the day that Michelle's going to potentially just make this thing that's been such a nightmare for us really easy. Wouldn't that be crazy? Michelle comes and going, oh, yeah, I have to send an email. Oh, yeah, you're in. What? That would be amazing. We started trying in 2019. It's very annoying.

It's very annoying. But where have you been, Michelle? You've got to solve the problems. Thank you so much to ECW Keith, Robert, Dean, Lou, Susan, Wonder Joseph, Eddie, Eadie in Paris, sorry, Eadie. I thought it said Eiddle. Matt literally did a manual Zoom on my computer. He like put his eyes up to the screen. Like your eye like just would have touched to the screen.

Enhance. That leaves it's just with one last thing to do, Michelle, which is the TripTage Club. Jasks explains it so well what the Tripitch Club is. Thank you. Tripitch Club is for people who have supported us on this shoutout level or above for three consecutive years. It's a bit like a cool members-only club or an airport lounge in my mind. It's very cool.

It has everything you could possibly want. Dave books a band. I'm behind the bar. Matt's essentially the bouncer, but like in a cool way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like not in like it. He's not a dick about it. He's actually very nice.

I've got a Doctor Who sort of thing. I don't use weapons. That's right. That's cool. But I will shiv you with my scroo. driver. If needed. Unless you're a wooden door, then it will not work on you.

We'll not work. And yeah, Dave, you normally book a band. Yeah, you guys are never going to believe this. Obviously, I've booked these bands. Ages and advanced. Sometimes years in advance because of people's schedules. But thankfully, they're dropping by. They found time on the schedule.

We were talking about Doctor Who, of course, on this episode. But you'll never believe. Dropping by on this episode of the Triptych Club, spin doctors. Wow. Can you believe it? Spin doctors. What are the chances.

That's crazy. Wow. Chances are low. Who did the, who did the, how to hit with the Doctor Who remix years ago? Oh, it's something, something in the TARDIS. Yeah, maybe. Doctoring the TARDIS, is that what it's called? And it's basically, it's just like, uh, nah, na, na, nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, something like that.

Oh, Gary Glitters. It's Gary Glitter. Mate. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, you're thinking about just something different. I'm talking about. Doctor Who. Who, hey, Doctor who.

That's good. That's doctoring the heart. by the justified ancients of Moomoo. And they will be supporting Kenny Millie. They will be opening for Spinnbox doctors tonight. Wow. So you get to hear a Doctor in the Tardis and two princes in one night.

What are the chances. This is amazing. So we've got four inductees this week. Oh, Jess is also behind the bar. Normally whipping up a cocktail. Yeah, I've made screwdrivers the cocktail. Yeah, great. But also I made like, I've been getting really into.

like those shows where it's like, is it real or is it cake? So I've actually made, I had a screwdriver as like a model and I've made cake versions of it. But it's actually too realistic. And I can't tell which one is the actual screwdriver. So I would just say like they should taste really good and obviously look really beautiful. But I just, I would take that first bite with a bit of caution. Just check. Okay.

That's clever. Just in case. All right. Now, how do we get to do this? So I'm on the door. I'm going to read out the names. Yeah. Have you ever listened to an episode this deep before, Michelle?

I've been here for this before. Okay. And you had to. I wasn't allowed out. So I'll read out the name. Dave hypes them up. Maybe Michelle can be the hype person tonight. Okay.

I mean, we'd have two hype people. Yeah. I'd love that. The more support I can get the better. Or maybe Michelle could even an MC. Oh, yeah, if you're up for it, please. Do you and you hype up these four people as they come into the Triptage Club? Yeah, yeah.

Well, Dave, do you want to be on the door for time? I might have the night off. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I'll be on the, so usually Michelle, what is the, Matt reads out the name, and then I do a very clever play on their name or a bit of a pun or something, but also pumping them up at the same time. Oh, that'll be easy for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pun. Now, Matt, I totally support you having the night off, but I do actually see you walking towards the air hockey table, and I just want to remind you again that the air hockey table is mine. Yes. And you keep putting ice all over it because you think it's ice hockey. Is it? Ice. Yeah, it's ice.

It's air hockey. I said air don't mix. Basically, let's not argue about air and ice hockey again. I'm confused. Just don't go near the table. You can play pool. You can do anything else. Leave the air.

I've literally put tape around it. Yeah, which has worked really well. That keeps the water and nice. This fucking go. Sorry. Why does it have a freezing setting? It doesn't. Yeah.

Sorry, Michelle. Sorry you had to see that. He keeps touching my air hockey table. Anyway, so. It's disappointing. Dave will read out some names. I'll hype you up. Okay.

If you're playing on then where they come from or their name. Just go with whatever. We've got about four people. Okay. It's not, right, right. Okay.

Would you please welcome into the triptage club? We love them. You know them. Hey, you're not hyping. You're just reading names. Oh, sorry. I think that he could do a better job.

Oh, absolutely agree. Just showing you how it should be done. All the way from Cape Netic in Maine. Please welcome Kate Godockie. Kate Gardochi. Kate Gardochi, the Magnetic from Cape Tadic. Yeah.

Oh my God, that was good. Incredible. Yeah, I love it. So they're from TEDic? I love that. Yeah. If you want. I would like to think also from Wallenberg in Canada.

Wallerstberg. Sorry, Wallisberg in a... You need to enhance. I'm going to do it manually. From Wallerzberg in Canada, I would like to thank one word is what we need. Rebecca! Oh, get it. Rebecca.

I would like to thank from Staten Island in New York. Big shout out and thank you and go on in. Michael Driscoll. Give it up for Michael Driscoll. He is not here to take the Pisckel. Yes. Love it. Michelle is good at this.

Yeah, it's really good. I'm loving it. Dave's doing a great job too, actually. Yeah, we're all doing our jobs well here. Matt's not doing anything. Exactly. Correct. And finally.

Matt's doing his job very well. We would like to thank from Pascoe Vale South. right here in Victoria, please go on in and enjoy the musical stylings of Spin Doctors it's Alex Pretty. Get in here,

Alex Pretty, the most pretty, more like Alex gorgeous. When Alex Pretty came up, I'm like, oh my God, there's nothing to work with here. Wow.

How's she going to do it? How do you do it? Really tough. And thank you again to Alex, Michael, Rebecca and Kate. Go on in, stay away from the air hockey table,

but enjoy the music and have a great night. The air hockey table is for a lot. anyone. No one owns the airman. No. I just bought it. She purchased it. Exactly. That's her own money, okay? That's the only thing is that she does own it. If you want to play...

Well, I mean, that's the only... Oh, okay, the only thing is she owns it. Yeah. But all I'm saying is none of us own it. No one owns it. And I can see how you're holding two truths to be true. But in this case, only one of them. And the difference is, I'm not saying you can't play, but I'm asking you to stop destroying it with us. That's the only thing. That's all I'm asking. I think you're getting confused. I think I'm just getting back to his natural state. Okay, we're just, let's take this off pod. Okay, because I can't, I just can't fight with them anymore.

Well, that's the end of the episode, Michelle. But before we go, one more time, thank you so much, first of all. And people can see you in Edinburgh, in August. In Edinburgh, in August. As a part of the interest. I think, I think it's now. Oh my gosh. When this comes down, it's now.

It is happening. It's probably happening right now. Go and see Michelle every single night. Every night. Every night. Come every night. Please do that. And then also, pre-order.

the book or ask your book retailer to order it in. Please do. Or at least tell them you want it because then they'll be like, yeah, this is great. And then they'll end up ordering one million copies. Yeah, that's what I want. To get pulped. That's the best thing. Don't pulp them.

Don't pulp them. Don't pulp them. I wrote them not for pulping. Come on. Come on. And if everyone want to order the book, can they go to your website? Will there be a link there? If you go to my website, my Instagram, there's a series of, you can order to your heart's

content. You can be like, oh, you can be like, I want the e-book. There will be an audio book. Will you be reading it? Yes, I've already done it. I've recorded it. I was going to say, I could do it.

Oh, I'll redo it. Your personal story. I think I'll do it. I'll do another version. I've heard it. I should do it. No, that's awesome. I can't wait it.

Yeah, but you can buy it from readings, Dimmix, like Amazon, if you're in Amazon, if you want the cat, what is it, the not book, Kindle. You can do whatever you're. The not book. You know, the not book, that famous movie. Yeah. So sad.

Yeah. I love Brian Gosling. Yeah. I wrote you every day for a year. On a Kindle. It's good Tina Turner song, To The Notbook. To the Not Book. Now Book City limits.

Well, now the pun king has struck at last. We'll wrap it up for another week on Do Go On. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. We'll be out next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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