Do Go On - 46 - Riverdance

Episode Date: September 7, 2016

This week Jess shares a secret love she has had for 20 years - Riverdance. Baring a part of her soul, she tells the story of the origin of Riverdance and how it changed dance FOREVER. Matt eats his dinner during the episode and Dave offends Jess with his lack of respect for Riverdance. What fun! Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to DoGo on. My name is Dave Warnocky and I am here with Jess Perkins. Hello, Dave. Hello, Jess. And we are joined by the multitasking man himself. That's right. He can host a podcast and order an Indian takeaway on his mobile phone at the same time.

That is Mr. Matthew, Indian Takeaway, Stuart. How did you know it was ordering Indian Takeaway? Because you're very bad at multitasking. Yeah. I don't have a great poker face. No. If you look at me, you're like, I honestly thought it was going to be like,

and Matt, how are you? Rogan Josh, I mean, good. I mean, oh my God. You're literally going, um, num, num, num, num, num, definitely not. Well, you know, like, that, what you just did then could have been pizza. True, true.

Except you went, um, num, num, Indian, that's right. Um, num, num, num, num, num, um, that's right. In my belly. M numb, nam, damn. That's good. Well done. Well, done.

What are you? What are you? Matt, do you want to let the listeners... So far, I mean, it's a $19 minimum order. Right? To delivery. That's a weird number. It's a 20, guys.

Or 15. You know I like rounded numbers. Absolutely, 19. So far, I've gone a vegetable cofter. How much is that? 14. So I've only got five to go. Sweet.

Get a garlic night. I'm going to get rice and a garlic night. I'm done. What about some sort of fanta? No need. Because we've got beers. Yay. Bears, beers, beers.

Yes, beer. Woo! Can you hear that, ladies and gentlemen? We're recording this, not late at night. By the time we finish it, we'll be late at night. 10 a.m. 10 a.m. 10 a.m knock off.

We're Australian. Let's perpetuate the stereotypes. No, no, we're all good people. It's a Friday night when we're recording this. We're breaking the stereotype by being good people. I'm underage. It's a Friday night, and Dave and I both just knocked off work. Matt's been drinking all day anyway.

For charity. For charity. But you are wearing a shirt. Yeah, for charity. We're not making that up, people. Matt is wearing a suit. Yeah. And I am suitably impressed.

Oh. Why did you hit Sue? I know. I was like, please don't pick me up on that. Please don't be... Sue... You know he always will. He will always pick up.

I am suitably impressed. Would have been much better. Yeah, that would have made any sense at all. But I do enjoy the name Sue. I do. I do. Who doesn't? We all know a lovely Sue.

Oh. I know a boy named Sue. Oh, yep. Johnny Cash I have a lazy Susan I don't You don't

I just hate it When you lie I know And you can always tell You always see right through me Yeah it's because your face Like this weird sort of A lie face

It's like the opposite of a poker Yeah I go I'm lying I killed them all I mean I don't have a lazy Susan Oh my God

Oh my god Oh boy This is off to a good start All right so 14 dollars Matt, you're still ordering. Place my order. Oh, you know, and they're crazy. It's $26.

What? Like, there's obviously some sort of a, oh, my God. It's this stage. How many stages do I need? You need to enter in some payment details, don't you? Like, I mean... Just make sure you read them aloud as well. Yeah, that's all.

I'm going to enjoy that part. Just flip it over and read the bit on the back. So, nope, driver's license is not helpful. I'll have a look at that, though. Do you just carry loose credit cards? Only when I'm suiting. Like you can't hide a wallet in a suit I've found. Put in your bra.

Come on, mate. Good point. That's a good point. I feel silly now. Is this a relatively recent driver's license? Yeah, that is a relatively recent. Because that photo's excellent but also just like spot on what you look like. You know you can smile on license photos, right?

I didn't know that. You can smile. It's not a passport photo. It's funny that Matt's ID looks like him. It is funny, isn't it? But interestingly, I mean, what are the things that are? on my license there. Height.

High color. Hair color. Wait. They do not give any information away on Australian licenses unlike a few of our friends from America, our listener friends. Yeah. That was always tweeted. Because I was talking about.

It's a crazy list of knowledge they drop on their licenses. How do they... It fits. And also I like the idea that someone gets your license and you shoulder and they're like, this isn't you. What's your date of birth? What's your hair color? How tall are you?

what it says here, 6'11. Well, you don't look that tall, but you said it. So come on in. Come on in. You must be right. Yeah, but the other thing that it lists on their driver's license is that they're organ donors, which makes so much more sense. Because I had like a separate card until my wallet got stolen in Barcelona and now I've lost my organ donor card.

But like it would say it on their driver's license. That makes much more sense. That does make a lot more sense. God, Americans, they get it right sometimes. Occasionally they nail it. What organs did they take in Barcelona? They just took my wallet. The most important organ of all.

For a lady, we love to shop. I feel like a heart would have got more on the black market, but fair enough. Yeah, they took my wallet instead. But see, maybe somewhere in Spain, somebody is using my driver's license as a fake ID or something. What? Who knows? Oh my goodness. Yes, yes, Girkens.

They took my small electric piano. You're kidding. Like an organ. Oh, boy. Well, historically, an organ's a massive instrument. Yeah, they're huge. Yeah, I've been drinking quite a few hours. No, I enjoyed that.

All right, no, fuck you. I genuinely enjoyed that joke. No, genuinely. Suck a fuck. Suck a fuck. I think you meant mini synthesizer. Yeah, that's probably what I meant. Jesus.

Can we start again? The pun would have been... Start the whole episode again. The pun would have been not quite as good. Yeah. If he'd told Jess that she'd had her mini synthesizer stolen. Not as funny. Have you ordered dinner yet?

We're stalling for you here. I'm pushing pay now, but it... Take my money! I want beer. Look, honestly, don't stall for me, Argentina. Don't stall for me, Argentina. What is that made? You know,

Because one of our good friends' messaging said, I think one of you should drink every 40 episodes. And I'm like, that's a bloody good idea. It's so good of an idea. And I'm going to make it every four or five episodes. Cheers to you, sir. Or most. Most episodes.

No. No. He says finishing a beer. Have you paid yet? I'm trying to click pay now. Anyway, this is the film. I'll have a go. Yeah, get those dainty fingers.

All right. This will do it. Legend of mine. Come on, magic fingers. Come on. Oh, I can see your C. CV code. Hello.

Keep that for later. You've clicked. Save my card details. All right. We never store your card details on our servers. Well, that's the problem. If you did, we wouldn't have to... My food would be in my mouth by now.

There goes the beer down in the belly. Card number is invalid. That's all. Did you see that? You didn't see that, Warnocky. 4-9. Because I never stuffed my card up. Me either.

I know mine off my heart. Hey! Yeah, he's ordered dinner. Oh, hang on. You have 30-something and you managed to have won't dinner. All of a sudden, I'm 30-something, am I? How old are you, Matt? 30-something.

There we go. Oh, that's like a fuck. What happens next? Number one, your order is sent to the restaurant. Number two, instant SMS confirmation. Hello. With delivery time. Yum, yum, yum.

Number three. What's number three? The restaurant delivers the order to your door. Does it have number four there or can we make up our own number four? Number four? Number four? Bloody get it in you? Did you?

Yeah, don't have. Enjoy yourself. Have a bloody delicious meal. Have a good time. Sorry about this. Sorry, guys. One sec. Hello, Matt speaking.

No, no, I'm just a weird guy. Great. Awesome. That sounds great. Thanks so much. I really appreciate that. Tell me about the skin. No worries.

soon, Matt. Thanks so much, mate. The vampires and the skin. Beware of vampires. Oh, you didn't tell him. That was the feedback you should tell him. Did you tell him that you were halfway through a coup d'et, huh? Or a two-day car.

You need food to keep the troops going. Why did the guy call telling you what you already knew? Hello, Matt, you've ordered Indian food. It's professional. Thank you. They are overly nice at the curry cafe or whatever they call. It's communication. That's why you get on menu log, so you avoid that awful call.

I don't want to talk to that guy. And also you said, nah, I'm just a weird guy. So that's good. And he went, ha ha, fair enough. Yeah,

I definitely make it less awkward. Yeah, you're very natural. Good in front of strangers. Should have told him you were wearing a suit. If anyone wants to have a good time, come out and, uh,

watch me order some food at a restaurant. Maybe that could be one of our activities of our live episodes is Matt ordering light on stage. You there, you're having a yucky. You look like a knocking man Now tell me about your I'm so sorry

Anyway you're okay I love your hair Oh fuck What have I Just have the wedges Honestly Can you take some money I'm just going to home

All right Let's uh shall we Let's do this I haven't explained what the show is Mainly Matt orders Indian food And then we wrap up That's the new concept. My food, into a way, yeah.

Wrap it up into your belly. Yeah, because you... Hmm? No. No, you... You animal. It's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. This is the show where it was supposed to, anyway.

One of us is supposed to do a report on a topic and then report back to the class. Now, it might sound like Matt Stalling, but he's not because it's Jess's turn. It's my turn, and I feel like a few weeks ago you said, it feels like every week we get looser and looser and looser. No exception.

I feel like, yeah, if we got a graph of it, we're definitely going up towards looseness or down towards madness. Apart from Dave's episodes, when Dave's got the rains. I don't know, he was pretty hyper. A couple weeks ago, that was fun. A rain all night. What? Just read the question.

Dave's also drinking beer, so who knows what will happen? I've had half a beer. This is the first time of all drunk beers on one episode. That's good. Possibly the last. Anyway. We'll see how this goes. Now, this is not from the hat.

Matt, I know that will disappoint you, but it does have a different sort of backstory, and I'll explain that after I've asked the question. Okay. I'm excited. For Indian food or for the report, be honest. Yeah, okay. Don't answer.

Don't answer. Okay. I think it's Indian food. I think he's more excited about the Indian food. Hey, I'm all about the report. Thanks, Dave. Fuck you, Matt. Anyway.

Okay, so my question, gentlemen. As we always start with a question, We didn't say that, but yes, yes, yes. Go ahead. My question is, what was the biggest dance phenomenon of the 90s? Oh, I reckon I know that. I reckon I know that already. Do you?

What do you reckon it is? Is it by a band called? My Sharona. No, that's not from the 90s. Is it from something that sounds like My Shorona? Is it the band that we all love, Lostell Rios? I have, okay, I didn't even think of that. Macarena.

It's not a Macarena. Macarena. That's what I meant to say when I said My Shiron. Sorry, repeat the question. I did say biggest dance phenomenon. It's not, it's those two boys. The bus stop? Okay.

No, that's older. The worm? Okay, when I, when I write these questions, I'm usually just trying to throw you off a little bit. Oh my God, is it like a, the Irish dancing? Oh, no. Lord of the dance. What's that guy's name that does it? Antonio Bandez.

Michael Flatley? Is that a river dance? River dance. That's what it's called Riverdame. My sister used to have a, A videotape of it. That makes sense. You just said, oh no.

Anyway, I honestly never thought I'd say this, but please, let's talk about Riverdance. See, why did you immediately go, oh no? Because it's just so hilariously bad. Disagree. That's sort of vague what the music sounds like. What have you seen of Riverdance? Okay, it's like, I've seen that 90s videotape, and then I've seen that my sister had that my sister got given for Christmas from Nana one year.

when Riverdance was at its height. Yeah. Just thinking about it now, how funny it would have been that you did a whole episode about the Macarena. That's honestly what I thought, and I was like, I thought that too. I thought that too. I'd love to know where those two guys in the video clip are now.

Because I did sort of joke that... Just a bit itchy. We have lost it. Don't mention... Jacket makes notes. Just don't mention. Just be cool. Just be cool.

I just saw your little tubby. I can't be cool. I've never seen your belly button before. Have you not? You're a very hairless man. But you've got a smile trail. Transplanned. You got transplanted.

It cost me 50 grand. Worth every penny. Matt donated the billionaire. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm so sorry. What is going on? I've had half a beer. Okay.

All right, right, right. Okay, so I'll tell you the reason maybe that I wanted to do this. So, um, it's funny. Please don't hate me. What, no, I don't have it. I love it. I want to hear more. I want to be, but in like the next hour, I want to love Riverdance without seeing, without seeing any examples of it.

I think you might. So, okay. So the reason that I've, I've chosen to do this is because, firstly, I've had a secret love of Riverdance since I was a child. Have you done it? No. Oh, you just had. Just admire it from afar. Just admire it from afar.

And the music and the dance. It's not what the music sounds like at all. Dave, if you could explain it without, you know, too many words, how would you explain the river dance? Um, I would say it's all legs, no arms. Traditional Irish dancing is, yes. Is traditional Irish dancing and river dance? Are they different?

So River dance brings arms in. I didn't know that. It's Irish dancing with a twist. That's pretty much exactly what it is. And the reason that it's been at the forefront of my mind is because at the time of recording, in a week, I'm going to be leaving to go to Ireland. Forever.

Forever. To join the River Dance Academy. Full scholarship. It's amazing. No one in their mid-20s has ever been granted something. I just called them. I just called them. And they were like, like, oh my God, someone wants to do it.

Your legs sound powerful. Yeah. Hey, have you got Irish heritage? Yes. Then it's in your blood. Do you have Irish heritage? Yes. Do you have opposition to using legs and arms at the same time?

Boy, do I? No. Oh my goodness. Right, okay. So in a week from time of recording, I am going to be in Ireland. Okay, cool. And I thought to myself, it'd be pretty funny if river dances on while I'm there. And I looked it up and it is.

Is that because it's on every time? No, it's not. All the time. I think it's on like most summers. Yeah, probably. But... They take one day off and it's Christmas.

I have purchased a ticket for the 7th of August because on the 7th of August 2013, I saw Riverdance in Dublin and so I'm going again exactly three years later to the day. In Dublin. Same venue?

Same venue. It's a weird thing to do. It's not. I feel like every three years for the rest of your life, you've set the precedent now, no matter what you're doing, you have to go to Dublin

on August the 7th and see Riverdance. It was just kind of a weird coincidence that I was like, oh, I'm going to be in Europe the same sort of time as I was last time. That's interesting. When's this episode going out? This could be bang on. No, no, no, it won't. I'll be back.

I'll be back. It'll have happened. It'll have happened. Oh, no. We're coming from the past. I know. I wish I'd known sooner, but I only just bought the ticket yesterday. Or the day before.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. So, it's very exciting for me. So by the time you listen to this, Jess has started her academy. I've started the Jess Perkins Academy of Riverdance. It's Perkins are Irish? No. is English. Oh, they don't like that.

My grandma's maiden name is Monaghan. That counts. Her first name. Yeah, her first name is... My mother's maiden name. That is... That is, like, basically giving away your... My grandmother's maiden name.

Basically given away your... Can I just... No reason to ask you what your first pet's name is? Hang on a second. And your password. That will save a lot more follow-up questions. Anyway, so I've had... had river dance on the brain and I'm very excited and it is, well, because you say it's, it's

hilariously bad. It is sort of a lame thing to really love, but I've always loved it. So I'm self-conscious of it. So be delicate in your, in your merciless teasing on me. I am going to be so brutal. But do you know what it is? You do know what it is. I'd call it powerful. It's a powerful art form. Thank you, yes. Michael Flatley? Flatly. Flatly. Flatly. Flatly. Say it with me? Plathley.

Flathley. He's not Australian, is he? He's not Australian. Why would he be Australian? I'm just wondering why I know a river dance man. Because he's quite famous. It was a very famous Irish guy. He just boned a lot of women. That's why...

He might be your dad. That might be why you know. The two things I know about Michael Flatley are, one, he does Riverdance, and two, he has sex with lots of women. Why do I know that? I don't even know if that's a thing. Matt seems to know it as well. No, it's definitely a thing. He's Dave's dad.

He's Dave's dad. Yeah, and that's why I thought he was Australian. Well, do you know where Riverdance started? Probably Australia. My River's pants. My river's on fire. I should have said my dance is on fire. I better jump in a river.

Anyway. Nah, both good. Both good. Leaving both in and you at home can pick your favourite. It's like to choose your own river dance joke adventure. Okay. Probably, does it have to be Ireland or is that dumb now? Like, is this a trick question?

It's definitely Ireland, right? You're asking where in Ireland? No, like how Riverdance came about. Because it's got its famous origin as well. Oh, really? Is it recent? Like, or is it centuries old? In our lifetime.

In our lifetime. Because there's traditional, traditional Irish dancing. And then this has come out of it. Yeah. When Michael Flatley... Did he create it? No. Okay.

Didn't he? No. I thought it was something about him coming out of a swamp. But did he have sex with lots of women? He had sex with heaps of women. That's the one fact I knew. Anyway. We presume.

I mean, allegedly. Allegedly. You did the river dance, pants dance. The river pants dance. River pants. They called him. Just kept a flowing. The soundtrack of his love making.

Anyway. It's like a jig. It's like a jizz. Oh, no, no, no. So Michael flatly didn't create it. No, I will talk about him, obviously. It was created in the 90s. He split off.

I remember he split off from someone else. There was a big company called River Dance and he split off to make Michael Flatley's something else, right? Or something like that. Yeah, yeah, he separated from Riverhouse after a while. And what did that become? Lord of the Dance. Yeah.

He became Lord of the Dance and he split off from River Dance. Yeah, that's one of the things he's done. Okay, so you could have told me that it was an 18th century outform and I would have said, of course it is. Well, Irish dancing dates back. I don't even know how far back that goes, but I'm specifically talking about... I want to know the exact date. The first Irish person started dancing.

Well, look it up yourself. Fuckhead. All right, I will. Get back to you. Right. So, okay. Ninety-one. Earlier than that.

Earlier. Earlier. 58. Earlier. Earlier. Earlier. I'm only going down by one year. God.

We're going to be here for a long time. Because I'll suddenly say 1912 and you be like, later. Too late. Too late. Oh, no. And then you've got to work you away. No, that's fair. I guess that's a good approach.

Anyway, so I'll... Still guessing on my head. Okay. So... Earlier. The year... Yes. Was 1993.

Oh. The year that the baby bombers beat the more favoured Kelton Blues in the AFL grand final. Because that's a reference point that everybody can understand. Sorry, I'll bring my...

Sorry, I'll bring my... The year that Tissom released their 13th studio album. That's not true. I didn't release the studio album that year. The year... And I turned three, and Matt turned 112. That's right, you old bastard.

Wait, what? Anyway, so the year was 1993, and Ireland hosted the Eurovision Song Contest. Oh, which they won many times in the 90s. Correct. I believe three. It was hosted in County Cork and Mill Street in Ireland, and Neve Cavana. So they're just hosted at someone's house in Mill Street, just six of Mill Street, just pop in.

Parking out the back. I've been to Cork. That's great. Now, Neve Canva was the winner of Eurovision for Ireland with the song In Your Eyes. So, Ireland won that year. They won in their home year. They won in their hometown. Does that mean that's two years in a row?

Because they are hosting it because they won the year before? Yeah, generally speaking, you... Yes, actually, I beg your part. I think they did. The host city is the next host. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're hosting, you won the previous year. In other words.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yes, I beg your pardon. They did win the year before. So they would run in 92. And they won in 1993. And what's his lady's name, Neve? Neve Kavana. Neve is N-I-A-M-H.

I love the Irish spelling. It's so good. N-I-M-H. N-I-A-M-H. Anyway, so she wins, and it's a huge celebration all around Ireland. They'd had a win on home soil, which is obviously very exciting. Yeah. But as always, the focus then turned to what they could do the next year to top the success of Mill Street and Cork.

Like, as soon as the Olympics finish, it's always like, well, what's next? So it's the same sort of thing with Eurovision. They're like, what are we going to do? Liam Miller, who was the director of television programs at RTE at the time, wanted to make a bigger statement with their interval entertainment, as Ireland would be hosting the competition once again the following year, this time at the Point Theatre in Dublin. Sorry, I've never really watched Eurovision.

Do they... And people suggest we do whole episodes on it, and I am open to that because it sounds like it's such a cold thing. But I never knew that they have a show, and then they stopped the show for a halftime show. It's kind of like a... No, no, no, they sort of do... You just said a halftime act, like at a show...

Is it a show? Yeah, so they do all the songs perform, and then there's an interval act, and then it goes into, like, the judging. What happens in the interval usually? More song? Some sort of performance. So before this... You've got if they played, like, some sort of NFL Super Bowl games.

Yeah, they did the opposite. Before this, there was sort of a comment that, like, the interval was never anything, all that remark of it. It was just sort of like, whatever, just keep them entertained for a little bit, right? So it was never anything all that special. He wanted to make more of it. He wanted to make more of a statement with it, and he needed someone who had vision. So he turned to a woman called Moio Doherty, now regarded as...

That's a great Irish name. She's now regarded as one of the wealthiest women in Ireland. Really? Yeah, she's a very successful woman now. Was she not rich at the time, is you trying to imply? I'm sure she had money. But she wasn't like top ten rich. Yeah, now she's one of the big dogs.

I think that Riverdance might go well for Moia. I think it might. So she'd have been involved in a range of successful television programs, and she had a really edgy, innovative outlook and wanted to create a new... image for Ireland. So that's why he brought her on board. I've got to say that's quite a goal. If you want to re, with one TV show, re-imagine your hot country's position on the

world stage. Yeah. She wanted to like, she wanted to showcase Irish music and dance, but also introduce like a more modern, urban and innovative kind of take on it. Like take the tradition, but give it a twist. Like you sort of joked before, but that's literally what they were wanting to do. Yeah. hear Urban and I just imagine adding rap.

And that's what they do. They rapped. Hanging out in Ireland. That's not rap. Hanging out in Ireland. I am Irish. Did you know that the Irish can't rap? I am so sorry for any Irish listeners.

It looks like he's trying to be like a ventriloquist doll or something. Yeah, he's like really barely moving his mouth at all. It's creepy. I don't know. It's unsettling. understand what he's trying to do. It's unsettling. Very weird.

Well, let me ask, answer your criticism with a song. Please do you go on. So, um... Save me. Save me from this. Moyer attended a show and, uh, she just like, just happened to be at this, um, at this performance show and she saw Jean Butler, who was an American-born Irish dancer. Hello, Butler. Performing with a guy called Colin Dunn, who was an English-born Irish dancer.

And she was really impressed. by Jean Butler. She'd never seen her dance before, but she was, she was really blown away by her and her ability. And then out on the stage came Michael Flatley.

Oh my God. He was wearing a Spanish-style outfit and like a hat. Of course he fucking was. And he had his shirt open so it was like bare chest. Oh my goodness. My pants just opened.

Completely unrelated. You haven't worn them in a while. What funny timing though. Boy. And so he wasn't doing like 100% Irish dancing. He was kind of doing a, tap fusion.

What are you thinking about? Probably 86, 87% orish dancing, I'll reckon. He gets an exact percentage. 87. So he's doing fusion. He's just, he's dancing. Is he rapping? He's not rapping.

Okay. I mean, he's feeling it. He's American, though, so if he could. Michael Flaley's American. Fuck off. What? No, I'm out. That's it.

Sorry, this podcast has been fun. Yeah, all right. We'll have a little bit of fun every now and then, but you don't have just come in here and tell me Michael Flatley. No, seriously. Boom, and he's gone. You know, you could have just walked away instead of mine walking away. I honestly thought that was an excuse for you to go to the fridge and get more beer.

No, look, I'm back in. Thanks for joining us again. They've talked me down. Flatley's American. Flatly's American. Flatly's American. I thought he was Australian. Well, you were incorrect.

That's way weirder. That is, why? For some reason. We have lots of Irish immigrants out here Surely he would have won awards here He'd be our president or something Sure, okay Like if Michael Flatley was Australian

He would have been our Lord of the House of Representatives or something Yeah Look he could have been But unfortunately Flatley's American And in the stories I don't get it

In the stories currently dressed as a Spaniard as you were saying Yes This guy honestly Does it sound, he's lost it? Did he ever have it? Okay. Has Flatley ever had it? Yes.

Yes, and he's had them all night. Please do go on. Referring to women as it, but that's nice. Are you referring to women as it, their day? I was referring to sex as it, as people often do. Oh, no, that's fine. Doing it. Doing it.

Although, if somebody came up to you're like, hey, you want to do it, you'd be like, no. I would say, it's your name, Michael Flatley, and they'd say, yes, in an American accent, and I'd say, giddy up. Dave, do you say giddy up before sex? With Michael Flatley exclusively. Okay, okay. Check out my chest. Mainly this V part of my chest.

Because obviously some of it's covered by this shirt. Giddy up. The bit that's open. And a sharp V. Okay, so if I may. Please. So, Moy is at the show. She's losing it because Michael Flatley's doing some sort of 86% Spanish dance.

And Gene Butler. Is Jean Butler a woman? Jean Butler is a woman. Right. So Gene Butler and Michael Flatley are on stage And she's blown away by both of them and their performances And this performance was what sparked Doody's idea For what would become River Dance basically

So Jean Butler tells the story That she was in the living room with some of her flatmates And the phone rang And she took the call And it was Moia Doody asking her to perform With Michael Flatley at the Eurovision Song Contest the next year And she agreed and hung up And then she went back into the living room

And asked her And said, fuck, I should say goodbye I'll do it, beep Americans, in movies, Americans never say goodbye. Why do Americans tweet in, do you say goodbye or hello? Or do you just... They do say hello. No, they do this.

Boop. Molder. Okay, well, you're talking exclusively about... Molder. That's how Fox Molder answers. Molder. Okay. Not just Fox Molder, also people who remove Mold.

My ex-boyfriend used to say the name of the person who was calling. So if you call me, like, I would go, Dave. I love it. Do you? That annoyed me. What, Jess, that's, what if it's an unknown number? Person.

Unknown. Potential. Caller ID. Molder? Anyway, so she agreed and then she goes back into the living room and asks her flatmate's what Eurovision is. Keep in mind she's American. Oh, so Jean Butler's also American.

Yes. So she goes, what's Eurovision? And they like had to pick themselves up from laughing so hard. And they were like, you can't do, you can't. perform at your revision. That's so embarrassing. And she was like, well, I'm gonna. Like it's lame. Yeah.

Or that, like, the interval entertainment's always bad. And then she'd been told it's the seven... What else has she got going on? Well, she's obviously professionally dancing for a living, so she's doing something. Anyway. Cool, okay. Yeah. I suppose that Eurovision gets sort of more famous every year.

So this is what, the 90s is pretty uncooled at this stage. And it's not like she's performing one of the songs. She's doing the interval entertainment, which is usually up into this point. a little bit lame, so they're like, oh, God, it's going to be embarrassing. You know, so anyway, she goes on to do it. And Doody knew that she wanted to create something that could build to an enormous crescendo, both musically and visually. So she brings in Bill Welland, stop it.

Riverdance means so much to me. How can it be? At this stage, there's two people dancing. You've never seen it. Well, I saw that 90s video. I've seen two people crescendo before. Please do go on. No, I am excited to hear how we're going to.

How are we going to get there? It's like, I open up to you and you just crush my soul. Dave. I really did not mean to flatly your soul. Oh, that's not good. No, that's pretty good. I kind of forgive for that. Dave, Dave.

All right, I won't make fun anymore. You can make fun. It is genuinely hard to not laugh when I hear people taking something like dance seriously. Well, I mean, you've never obviously watched it and been so moved by it because when she said that, I was like, oh, totally. Well, you nailed it because it does build to a crescendo, both music. and visually. I'm always open to be. God, dancefully, though.

Dancefully, it really just flat lines. Just flatly lines. Okay, so she wants it to build up. She wants to really make something that's impressive. So she brings on Bill Wellen, he was a composer. And he used, you'll love this. He used the life of the river as his motif for the music. That's a great idea.

So that's where sort of river dance came about. So the river is his motif. The river is kind of like. like the foundation. It's the idea. So until the very end of the piece, he didn't use traditionally used rhythmic forms for dance. He used split rhythms, which were more common in jazz or Eastern European music.

Sorry. You guys do go on. I didn't even hear that. No, you guys keep going. I'm going to get some... You guys keep going. You're right there, Matt? All right, so Matt's collected his idea your takeaway.

Dave's Googling Michael Flatley. Describe Michael Flatley's looks to us. All right. there's a face. Okay. You've got your classic. He's beautiful. He looks like a man, like, because I've got images of him now, he looks like a man who refuses

to admit that he's aging. He's got, like, blonde tips and, like, he's, he's probably had plastic surgery. He definitely has. I'm sure he has. I don't know, that's... Oh, Matt, you just know. Oh, no, but Michael E's got coughed her all over it. It's a leather pet, so.

Maybe. Mattie, look into the eyes of Michael. It's going to drip. You're going to... I don't want to catch it. You want that tissue now? Oh, there's so much. Okay.

You're a joke, Stuart. You're a fucking joke. So while Matt eats and hopefully that keeps him quiet for a bit... No, you'll actually be able to for it into the story. Yeah, I think I'll get this done pretty quick. Are you happy for me to keep going? Yes, please. Okay, great.

So what I was saying was that Bill Well and the composer had used a different type of rhythm for his music. What was the word for the rhythm? Sorry, I find this kind of interesting. Split rhythm, is that what you mean? Yeah, split rhythm. So a split rhythm, which is more commonly used in jazz or Eastern European music. Now, this guy that I found, his name's Dr. John Koolan. I'm so sorry to any Irish listeners. I even wrote these out phonetically, so I pronounce them right. I hope I'm saying it correctly.

Can we call him Dr. Kool? You will love this because Dr. Kool is an Irish dance historian and dance master. Oh, is he a doctor or is he master cool? He's a bit of everything. So he described the origins of Irish dancing as having evolved from a social aspect. So, for example, performances were in the small kitchen or on top of a barrel. There was a small barrel inside a small kitchen. What's that?

That is our dance barrel. I'm hoping it's a big bag, like a big keg or something like. Anyway, so this is why the movements were constrained and arms were by the side and the body was straight and neat. Oh right, because the kitchen has no room. Because you don't have a lot of space. There's a cabinet there. I'm just trying to avoid the kitchen cabinet.

It's so great. So Riverdances change in the rhythm of the music meant that the style of dance also changed. So a couple of the dancers in interviews described it as forcing you to dance better to be sharper and more in tune with the music. And you're killing me here. I just love when people take something seriously. It's very funny. I never do that with anything in my life. Well, if you watched Riverdance,

dance. I'm going to show you a clip later. It's going to change your fucking life. Anyway, so the ability and the freedom to move your arms and your hips made it, they described it as like it was more sexy, it was more free. Sorry, I just, I'll stop you right there. Of course you will. And just be like, do they not notice that for, they feel like they're creating something

completely new because they're adding in arms, but it's 1993. Humans have been dancing with their arms for thousands of years. I would love to see you dance. I am a... I mean, Michael Jackson's already done the fucking moonwalk and they're like, yeah, you add in arms and it is pretty special. Matt, whose side are you on?

Matt's eating. Who's side are you on? I'm on the side of the copter. Okay. No, but I was on... Oh, come on. I'm just describing what they're saying. I'm on just the side.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at them. I'm on just the side here. Yeah, but they're also beautiful artists and people would say, why would you take comedy so seriously? No, we don't. We don't. It is interesting when Dave says the moonwalks already been. That's the point.

Give up Ireland. We've clocked dancing. They've jumped the shark in reverse. Yeah, sure. In slippers. Okay, I do understand. So. And off all the art forms, dance has got to be the lowest.

Let's be honest. Mime. No. Fuck off. Mime. Dance is better than mine. Did you see Dr. Brown show? Fuck, that was incredible.

Have you seen River Dance? Fuck, that's incredible. Dr. Brown shows clowning. In silence, moaning. Maybe. Can I go on? Please, do go on. So they've been rehearsing and we get to Eurovision 1994.

Sorry, musicals. Musicals. Where does that sit on the scale? Lower than dance. Really? But they're doing two things at once. Somehow it's worse. Interesting.

Okay. You're going to, contrast. In a controversial opinion, Matthews, moves the mic back to his mouth, he's ready. The son'll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow. Every note is just a nail in the coffin. Dave? Check mate.

Just thinking about tomorrow. I nailed it. Does somebody smell wet? Dog? Is that a line? Triumphily moves the microphone away from him to get back to his dinner. Good. Please keep going on, describing how they're reinventing art.

Fuck you. Eurovision, 1994. The stage at Eurovision wasn't designed for Irish dance, but it didn't have to be. It wasn't a kitchen. Okay. Come on, that's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. It wasn't a barrel, it wasn't a kitchen.

It was a 20 metre by 20 metre stage. It was an actual stage. Well, obviously, it didn't have to be designed for Irish dancing because it was just an interval act. Don't mind Matt just getting his garlic narn out. You're good? It's just an interval act. What do you mean? As in like, well, when I say the stage wasn't designed for it, of course they're not going to design the whole stage around one interval act.

A bit more your doerty was like, what do you mean you haven't designed to run my five-minute half-dop joke? She probably was. She wanted actual water running underneath a perplex. Oh, I love people. It's great. It's so good. So the dancers found that the stage was quite slippery, it made them sort of difficult,

because Irish dancing really requires a sprung floor, and every time they rehearse, they'd mark the stage floor. So eventually a stage hand had the idea to put duct tape on the soles of their shoes, and then they used keys or sharp objects to sort of score the duct tape to give their shoes more grip. Sorry, what? I just explained it quite clearly. Yeah, no, but rather than buy a new pair of shoes, they just put duct tape on.

No, there's nothing wrong with their shoes. It's the stage. The stage is too slippery for them. Right. What do you want them to, do you want them to go changing some fucking work boots? Well, yeah. I made a... Or some sneakers.

Everybody chuck on your Nikes for the fucking River Dance. They would have created that thing from the Olympics opening ceremony. What's that? What? Stomp. Stomp. Yeah, Stomp. It's not Stomp.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp did that a few years later. It's not Stomp. If you're talking about reinventing dance, now that. Stomp. Remember of the Sydney Olympics? That's not Stomp.

What's that? That's bootmen. Oh, sorry. Sorry, there's just so much. many artists in the world. I can't tell if Matt wasn't eating if he'd be on my side or your side. I really don't know. I don't know either.

Whose side would you be on? All right. Could we briefly sum up, Jess, your side and Dave's side? My side is Riverdance is cool. Dave's is... The dance is not cool. That's Dave's side. So you're saying Riverdance not cool?

No, no, no, no. I'd like to sum up my argument with the song. Okay, can you sum up your side with a song, please, yes. No. Please come on, Jess, rebutt with the song. I'm not rebutting with a song. Can I please go on? Matt, are you going to pick a side? I'm going to choose Jess because she,

she wouldn't, like, there was something about the fact that she would not sing a song to defend herself. There was something pure about that. And I can't explain it, but I believed in it. It's interesting because I will so often break into some on this podcast, except when you ask me to. Now, I think that's how sad you are about me. Yeah. Banging out dance. I'm so sorry. Anyway, so they got slippery shoes.

Right, but they've duct taped their shoes. They've duck taped their shoes. And they've scored the duct tape. They're rehearsing, everything's going fine. However, there were some concerns being raised about the nationality of the two leads because both Jean Butler and Michael Flatley were American. Now, they were both born in America to Irish parents. They're both first generation American.

And they're not like competing for Ireland. No, they're not competing for Ireland. So, surely a half-time show can have any nationality. Yeah, but the concern was that the performance was supposed to be the celebration of Irish culture, music and dance, but American leads, right? That is pretty fair, to be honest. Now, those concerns were pretty quickly put to rest, though, when those who were protesting, not protesting, but those who had raised the concerns. Were shot. No, it's when they saw them rehearsing and realized that Flatley and Butler were the perfect people for the roles.

Nobody was shot. Jesus. Even other performers say, of course, they would have loved to have been the star. I disagree. Michael Flatley was shot to stardom. And he's back! Stuart's back. I just want to pick you on one little point there, Jess.

Of course you do. So the protesters were silenced when they saw how good he was. So it was like they were protesting and then Michael Flatley said, let me answer your questions in the form of a dance, a river dance. He did it and they just went, you know what? I don't care where you're from. You could be from Equatorial Guinea. You could be from Cambodia.

You could be from Mars, but you can dance for Ireland. Am I paraphrasing? No, that was verbatim. Thank you. Right. So, even though the performers, they, of course, they would have loved to have been the star of the show, but the Jean and Michael were the right people for the parts,

because they were very talented performers. And the two of them together choreographed the performance. So Gene Butler and Michael Flatley choreographed it. Oh, themselves? Themselves. Well, that is commendable. There's a whole, like, there's a, there's a, a troop of them and I actually don't remember exactly how many people were performing in that first

that first show but there's a troop of them but they're the main too um now another thing that caused a bit of fuss was that the taps were pre-recorded um so the tap sounds of their shoes now there's a reason for this and sort of part of the reason somebody said part of the reason that is no I don't give a fuck what the reason is I don't give a fuck what the reason is I draw the line right there yeah you're pure Dave I'm back and what you're pure you Michael flatly can fuck off I don't care. Were they pre-recorded because he had duct tape on his shoes? I don't care.

I will stand up to any goddamn American about this. You'll stand up to America. I'll stand up to America about this, because that's where this whole bloody problem came from. Honestly, send America over. I'll stand up to them. I didn't realize this was an American problem. The Flatley scenario, it's all America.

I never knew either. I didn't know this, but I tell you what, I'm not happy about it. Send them to me. Send Ohio. Send Ohio. Send, who else you got there? Michigan, they can get here as well. Who else we got?

New Mexico. New Mexico. Get them here. Texas. Texas. Put him on my doorstep. I want to see him right now, please. Who else have we got?

North Dakota. North Dakota, South Dakota. Both here. Please thank you very much. Who else we got? Please stop. Okay. I will.

Right, we're going to name 50 states here, guys. Mainly Ohio. They're the main ones I've got trouble with, and I just want to slam because I like them. Oh, okay. Well, that took a turn. Look, to be honest, part of me was like, I'm angry with you, but mainly it's just going to want to catch up with you,

your bloody ruffigans, you're good. You're bloody, I like you. Ohio, just silly sausages. Is this one of those situations where you want us to bail you out of a rant? Yeah, if you could. Yeah, okay. I'm just going to keep going with my report. Great.

So the taps were pre-recorded. but the reason for that is that it gets drowned out in the music and because the taps form the main rhythm of the performance of the music, they need to be able to be heard. But Gene Butler's, the way she sort of explained it was like, it's not like they could slack off in the performance, they still had to be exactly in time and do everything perfectly, and it's not like they could hear the taps that well.

So they were still performing perfectly, and they're still tapping. Why don't they just mic them up? Which I think is sort of more what they do now, or they mic the stage is better, but this is in 1993, and this is the first time they've done anything like this Irish dancing on such a big scale. So I'm not really sure if it is still pre-recorded or if they're miced now. You can just keep the mic in front of you now, Matt.

Were they doing the dance on a scale? Yep. On a scale. Because I liked it before when they were doing it on a, what were they doing on it before? On a keg? Yeah, they're doing it on a keg in a kitchen. because I kind of like the scale thing

because you can then you can you can measure the weight of their performance can you ever measure the mate of a performance can you ever measure the mate I don't think you can if I'm being honest with you Jess you can't I know you should be able to be you can't

you can never measure the mate it's just one of those things you try your hardest but man I was really mad at you both but that really brought it back around Look, we all want to We all want to measure the mate. These beers are good, though, are they?

Love this non-alcoholic beer. Oh, what? Anyway, so... Taps are pre-recorded. But Gene has justified it. Gene's justified it. They also wanted to get rid of the costume. Now, when you picture Irish dancing,

do you picture the really, like, usually a bright color and a panel at the front with lots of Celtic, What they look like is gymnastics gone wrong. No gymnastics gone wrong. Okay. Depending on your opinion. Like they wear leotards pretty much.

A lot of Celtic crosses. The lady dances. Celtic plaids. And then those weird fake curly hairs. They'd been like a long, generally like a long sleeve dress. It's usually a bright colour. The panel at the front would have.

I thought they were leotards. Really Celtic, colourful. I'm sorry. I'm thinking of gymnastics. You thinking of gymnastics? Just gone wrong. So is it gymnastics that you hate or? Is it still dancing?

Oh no, gymnastics is an art form. Okay, I just can't read you. That's very confusing. Gymnastics is incredible. I cannot read you at all. Okay. More... You like gymnastics.

What do you think of Jim's Mowing? I'm all over it. Now, that is an art form. Okay. That's in the top three. It goes painting, theatre, Jim's Mowing. There. All right, I'm back on board with Dave's one of you.

So this brings us to the performance. It's a big night, okay? It's Eurovision. The year's 1994. What else has happened? Is it 94 or 93? 94, because it's the year after. Don't question me.

Sometimes I wonder if Dave's even listening. She's never listening. Anyway. How many people do you think were watching Eurovision on TV? Oh, a big deal, but 94. 17 billion. I reckon approximately 100 million. Dave, can you tell us how many people live in the world?

What about seven? How many humans exist? About seven billion. Okay, well, I reckon 17 billion was too many. Though, that was... This was in 19994, though. Yeah, how many, 94? How many then?

About 17 billion. 17 billion. Yeah. So... Are we lost 10 billion in the last 20 years? Jesus. Yeah, it's not good. Okay.

Due to old age, it was fine. It was okay, seven billion. I'm going to say... One billion, one point... One and a half billion. Well, that would be the most watch broadcast ever, wouldn't it? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm going to say 100 million, Jess.

300 million. Wow. So 300 million people have tuned in to watch the Eurovision Song Contest. I'm going to say 2 billion. And the 25th and final song had been performed, and the performers were getting ready, the river dancers were getting ready to take their place on the stage for the interval act. Oh, sorry, so I just want to recap how it works.

So you do 25 songs. just want they got home. Oh, sorry, don't worry about it. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, go, go, sure, yep. They do the songs, and then they have an act, and then they just do their voting. Oh.

I don't know if that's still the structure. I don't watch your vision, but that's how it happened this time. I'm happy to accept that as an answer. Great. The answer is... But one more question. No.

No, Jean Butler hadn't worn her costume for the rehearsal, because she didn't want to ruin it. Possibly a fatal mistake to not wear it to the rehearsal, because whatever's too small. Or, too. big. Oh no!

With about 10 minutes before she was due on stage, she approached the costume design with a problem. The off-the-shoulder style of the dress, which was already a little bit controversial, a bit different, bit sexy. It was just slipping right off her. Did I tell you that I like dance? Because I really like it now. Yeah. Just leave out there for a few minutes, man. Anyway. Because you've got a problem. Is it too off the shoulder?

There's nothing a few safety pins can't fix. So, Jean went on stage with pins, knots, and a lot of mental pleading holding her dress up. They're like, come on, cross fingers, come on, be okay. So she goes out on stage. Now the next seven minutes, you're going to rip this sentence to shreds. Oh, okay, I will let you finish it before I jump in. That's putting his mic as far away as possible. I am ready to pounds.

Okay, the next seven minutes. I'm already laughing. changed the face of Irish dancing and in fact dancing in general for good look I'm gonna tell you when we crossed over into the

21st century we were all thinking about where we were on that day in 1994 dance changed forever the moonwalking fuck on the Charleston

you're fucking gone ballroom dancing up yours we got a new one and his name's Michael flatly. It was really, when I wrote that, I was like, this is going to be a mic drop moment.

I didn't write. So, I thought you were paraphrasing someone else's words. Yes. I thought anything changed at all because of that. Yeah, dance. Oh, yeah, cool. As the sentence suggested. I'm not sure that, is there any influence on broader dance?

What do you know about dance? To be able to then comment. Oh, to be honest, I know absolutely zero about. dance. Yeah, so then how about you shut your hairy mouth and let me go on with my report. Come on, Matt, a bit of respect. So the performance went off without a hitch. For seven minutes.

Seven minutes. And it was met with a standing ovation from the 3,000 people in the audience. Standing ovation. And just remember everyone... Wouldn't say no to one of those. For every one of those audience members, there's 100,000 people watching at home. Exactly. That's pretty incredible.

We're wearing at their TV. And it was actually, it was hugely successful. So this is so funny. An audio recording of Riverdance entered the Irish single chart at number one. An audio recording of dance. An audio recording of the standing ovation. It's the sound of joints sort of... It's the sound of ankles and knees bending.

No, there's music as well, mate. They're dancing to music. That's fine as well. So the recording of the music went to number one and it remained there throughout the summer. and eventually totaled a record 18 weeks at number one. It kept Wet Wet Wet's Love is All Around off the top spot. So we're talking at four weddings in a funeral era. Love is all around.

And no, man, no, man. Yeah. I've got to tell you 18 weeks at number one is pretty big, right? So it was hugely successful. Were the cause involved? No. Okay. Now, after Eurovision, Moya Doody and her husband,

John McCulligan decided to produce and direct a stage show expanding the Eurovision piece and they asked Bill Welland to compose a full score for their show. So they're doing a whole show now. You're going to need a bigger river, Bill. We're going to get a bigger river. That's what he said. In November of 1994, tickets were sold in Dublin for the first full-length performance of river dance, which opened at the Point Theatre where they had performed a part of Eurovision.

It opened on the 9th of February in 1995. and the show ran for five weeks and was a sellout with ticket sales over 120,000. Wow. It starred the original lead dancers from the Eurovision performance, and many of the dance troupe featured, who had danced at Eurovision also. But the mains are there, Jean and Michael are there. Yeah. They also performed on the 8th of May and 95.

They performed at the Royal Gala 50th anniversary of VEDA celebrations at the special invitation of Prince Charles. It's interesting that such a famous Irish cultural phenomenon was fronted by two Americans. I had no idea about that. That's the biggest thing I'm taking out of this. Michael Flatley's American. He's got an American accent. He's like from Ohio or something.

That is incredible to me. So this performance at the Royal Gala attracted a television audience of 20 million people. They're doing pretty well. Population of Australia. So then they continue to just like tour around and they're doing amazing things. In June of 95, Riverdance opened at the Apollo in London for a sell-out four-week run. On the 17th of July in 95, Rivendance performed at the Royal College of Music in the presence of Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret.

Oh, Queen Mum. So they're just performing for royalty, left, right and centre. They're having a great time. The show returned to the Point Theatre in Dublin for another six-week sell-out run before returning again to the Apollo in October, which again was a sellout and had to be extended from six weeks to 19 weeks. Is this why Moia Doherty is one of the richest people?

She's like, she's made bank. And over the 19 weeks, the show made a box office record of 151 sold-out shows. That's pretty amazing. 151. 151 sold-out shows. God, each of those has like 5,000 people watching something. Really? That's crazy.

It's pretty amazing, isn't it? I mean, I have no idea, but it sounds like a lot of people. Yeah, it's a lot of people. I still can't believe that one day, Michael Flatley changed the face of dance forever. River Dance did. Let's not give him all the credit. I just can't get my head around it.

And speaking of your mate. Yes. Despite the show's growing success, cracks were beginning to appear. Oh, not in that face, because he's had surgery. Not in that face, in the relationship between the producers and Michael Flatley. So he'd choreographed many of the numbers in the show, but after the show took off,

salary and royalty fees became a big heated topic, and tempers also flared all the time over creative disputes. And the producers parted away with Flatley. Only 21 hours before the show was set to open for their second run in London in October. He left. He left, 21 hours before. Do you feel like there's parallels between Riverdance and us? How's like?

Debating over the millions of royalties that I'm getting and not passing on to either of you. I'm clearly the most talented, but you don't appreciate my skills. Matt eats Indian on. the show and doesn't get fired somehow. That's right because he owns the studio. It's just insane. Now, to make matters worse, fellow lead dancer Gene Butler turned up days before the second London show

with her leg in a cast. I think you better say drunk, that's even worse. No, she's on crutches. She's unable to perform. Her leg was in the cast of cats. I'm sorry, my left look has been cast in cats. That's quite funny. That is.

That is funny, Matt. That's funny, Matt. The biggest laugh of cats had for years. Oh my God. So they're a little bit stuff. The two lead dancers are gone, right? However, nine-time World Irish Dancing Champion, Colin Dunn, who had recently been hired by Riverdance to choreograph a few of the numbers.

He was appointed male lead on short notice. And he was accompanied by Eileen Martin. one of the original Eurovision contest troupe, so one of the original dancers from that show. She sort of knew all of Jean's parts, so she stepped up as the lead. Oh, okay, I'm starting to think a little suspicious here. Gene's leg turns up broken,

and now this girl's like, oh, I know her parts. I also know her address. And what happened on that fateful night? And Jean's like, I'm right here, early. I just slipped in the shower. I'll be fine in six weeks. Yeah, and I coated that chat with oil. No, you'd be very creepy.

It's black oil. I know all their parts. Every last one of them. Well, now I feel weird because, like, they did a very good job. Oh, they were fine. She did a great job. And Colin Dunn was made the new full-time male lead. And Eileen Martin became Jean Butler's principal understudy.

So she was the backup. That was her job. Okay. Yeah. Not in a creepy way. Just as like second best. Second best. Silver medalist.

If anything happens to Jean, you get to be the star, but only if something awful happens to Jean, okay? Oh, and repeatedly awful things keep happening to Jean. Yeah, it's strange. So with Colin Dunn at the helm now, Riverdance returned to the prestigious Royal Variety performance in London in the presence of Queen Elizabeth again and Prince Philip. And it starred... Oh, that poor woman. Colin Dunn.

How many hours of Riverdance did she be? Not enough. There's no such thing as too many. Every three years of August 7th. How many hours does a Rivenant show go for? Oh, like two maybe. No, not even, probably. Two.

That's not too, bad. How many different songs sound like this? I'm going to... Is that even what they sound like? No. That's fakely Irish dancing, though. No, it's not. You're doing like a weird Irish jig.

That's not the same sort of music they dance to. No. It's more powerful than that, Dave. Thank you, Matt. No. Matt, come on. You're thinking of people like, eh, yeah, just doing a little jig. That's not what Irish dancing is.

You just moved your arms and there is no arms in Irish dancing. Well, there is in Riverdance, mate. Oh, sorry, I forgot. That's one of the key fundamental differences. Okay, well, I was going to talk about one of the most famous, not most famous, but one of the pieces. But I'm not going to now. You've missed your chance. No, please.

Tell me about the piece. I'm not talking about it. You could win it in me over. I doubt that. The people at home are screaming out for it, Jess. In my head, River Dance, it's a lot of percussion, right? I'm thinking stomp Is there live music?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the band is playing live? Quite often they're on the stage. Okay, that's interesting. It's amazing to watch, actually. Do your thing, I'm going to add a layer of percussion. Okay, let's see if we can... This is it.

Do do. Doo do. Dooboo. Bebe to boobba. Dibitabah. Shat. Ha-da-naman. You need to go higher.

More like a tin whistle. There it is. That's actually pretty spot on. Bebitra be, ma'am. Bebittipa. Hey, beepidipa. That's actually pretty spot on. That's their third number.

That's their third song. Thank you. Thank you. We've been practicing, haven't we, Matt? Well done. I'm so sorry, I want to. Now tell us about the famous number. I don't think I want to.

You deserve to. Everyone at home is screaming out for it. Well, what I was going to say is that Colin Dunn choreographed a piece called Trading Taps, and he performed it with, Are they all named? Yes, of course they are. I know what trading taps is without even hearing it.

Do you? Tell me what training taps. Michael Flatley's quitting his trading taps all night long. Trading taps is going, I love a trading solo or a trade, anything where you've got two guys or two performers out the front, and one of them is going, a tippetipipidipa. And then they all goes, oh, yeah, how about this? A bit, do bit, bit, bit. That's exactly what trading tax is.

Is it actually like, you do a move, I do a move. Am I mirroring you? The story is that there's these like, generally it's like three American guys and a saxophone player. Classic like loose jazz style of dance and then these Irish blokes turn up and they're like, look at these idiots with their jazz dancing. So then they've got somebody playing the fiddle and they like they take turns like and then they're taking turns like and then they're taking. making the piss of each other's dance moves and then eventually they'll become friends as they dance together.

And what's the style that they adopt in the long run? It's kind of like a, it's a fusion. It's a fusion of both. Baker Street meets jewelling banjos. It's beautiful. I'll show you, it's great. Anyway, so they performed that. There's nothing better in the whole world

than dance battles, like theater dance battles where someone's like, yeah? And you know that false bravado where they throw their hands? Oh yeah, what do you got? And then they go, Tipit, tippit, tippity, tap.

Yeah, oh, that's pretty good. Well, what about this? Tipity, tippity, tippity tap. That's good, too. But check this out. Tippity, tippity, tap, tap, tap, tap, tippity, tap. He just crossed his arm and looked like, what are you going to do about? You look sassy.

That is musical emotion. Sassiness. Great. Like big sassiness. Big sass. Anyway, back to River Dance, the topic that we're talking about vaguely. Yeah. Riverdance are still performing today, obviously, because by the time this is out,

I've already been. Of course. Three times in my life. I also went in Melbourne one time when I was a kid. Anyway. And did you love it then? Oh, I loved it then. It was the best.

Dad and I went. It was awesome. What did your dad think? Oh, dad loves it. Does he? It's very good, Dave. What's, but, okay, I don't want to be rude about it, but two hours are the same thing. It's just the same dance.

It's not, though. Over and over again. It's not the same dance. It's like, oh, you can dance. Great. What else can you do? That is kind of everything. Yeah.

What do you think going to your, A cute little comedy show is. Yeah, but it's an hour of good. Oh, you can make almost funny jokes. Yeah. Yeah, but it's an hour of good. Does that make sense? So what's, so what's Rividence then?

Five minutes of good and then two hours. No, five minutes of, oh yeah, and then stretched out of two hours. Incorrect. Sorry, sorry. It's an hour, it's two hours of good. However long it goes for, it's good. The beauty of Dave's shows are, they only get for about 50 minutes. Yeah, and then you can get the fuck out of there.

That's sweet release. You get 10 bonus minutes. That's right. If you come to my show, you pay for an hour, but I only deliver 50, so those 10 minutes are yours. Free time at the end. Enjoy yourself. Have one on me. Have one.

Your show's a great day, but I'd recommend going to see a Dave show if you ever get a chance. I wouldn't. Fuck Dave's shows. I mean, fuck Dave's shows. Sure. Well, keep an eye out for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2017. Dave Warnocky in Riverdance, Spectacular. I'm not sure if you deserve the fun facts today.

Oh, come on. This is the part that will win me. I'm so close to loving river dance. I feel like I'm closer. Do you want the fun thing? I love the fun thing. All right. How about I don't say anything?

Dave, could you shut the fuck up for two seconds? I'm so sorry. So in May of 1989, Michael Flatley set a Guinness Book World Record for tapping speed at 28 taps per second. And... What? Subsequently broke his own record...

What? Broke his own record in 1998 with 35. Taps per second That can't be right Alright That's not right All right Nothing funny about that

That's just genuinely If that's true Then I'd bow down to 35 Stop yelling 35 taps In a second I don't

That is true That is the most impressive thing I've ever heard of ever That's 2,100 taps per minute Oh I hope that's true But it's not like it can be It's not like it can be

28 taps per minute Because that's incredibly slow. Every two seconds. He doesn't tap every second, second. And then two seconds per minute, he takes a whole thing off. Oh, yeah. I'd have a rest on the 30th and the 60th second per minute. 35 taps per second.

Like, if I do this, how many is that? That's true. It's correct. That's true. What? Oh, that is the most impressive thing in the history of everything. Okay. 35 taps per second.

Genuinely blown away as well. That is ridiculous. So amazing. That is not possible. Does that bringing you around a little bit to Riverdance? Yeah. Seriously, that is honestly so impressive. I cannot figure out what that even means.

Now I don't even want to read the rest of them because that was probably the best one. Oh, okay. There's nothing fun about that. Nah. That is too good for fun. And since then, since I'm just going to go to my last fun fact because I can't top that one. Give us them all. I give us a mole.

Just speed through them. 35 per second, please. In December of 2001. I mean, I could, with my fingers, I can do about two. How many is that? Maybe three per second. It's a fucking ridiculous. But with your feet.

I'm going to kill myself. What's the point? I don't know what the point is. I thought the point was to find something that you enjoyed and embrace it, but now I feel... Man, you took away my will to live. Are you happy? Oh, Dave took away mine. Well, I'm still going strong.

I'm feeling great, everybody. No, don't kill yourselves, everybody. Who cares? I've dedicated myself to an art form that matters. Nothing that you like. Comedy, that's right. Comedy's really important. You said dedicated.

Nobody will ever appreciate the things that you're passionate about. Dave, you dedicated? Dug a one, Jess. Okay, well, all I wanted to say was that the show has visited over 450 venues worldwide and has been seen by over 25 million people, making it one of the most successful dance productions in the world. Name another dance production. That would be a challenge.

35 taps per second. Okay, well, I'm sorry. I've got no answer to that. It's kind of like, that's like the checkmate of this whole scenario. And that gentleman is my report on Riverdance. I will genuinely watch a Riverdance concert with you. Great. I'll wait.

I'll give it a go. I'll sit there. won't bag it. Yeah, I look forward to it. It's going to be super fun. I'll try and enjoy it. I've never seen Jess' spirit be broken before. She's got such a big spirit.

Dave, how'd you break Jess? Had. Oh, God. He had such a big spirit. Anyway, wrap it up. Let's go. Come on. Let's go home.

Oh, my God. But was that wrong, Matt? I don't even know. I'm quite drunk. You are? But I'm having a good time, but Jess is broken. my heart. You've been pretty funny, but

I mean, Jess's heart. Sorry, Jess, I find it hard to take anything seriously in this life. And dance the hardest thing of all. Well. 75 taps per second. Yeah, 35 taps per second. That is good. All right, I don't want to end on a down note, so I'm just going to pretend to be happy.

Just for the listeners' sake. I'm going to ask Matt to rate his Indian meal out of five. Oh yeah, let's just bring it back to some food. We'll do a shout out. I mean, you know when you've drunk too much? Oh, yeah. And then you'll eat too much? Oh, yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's where I am. When you tap too much? No such thing. Some stomach feels like it's tapping 35 times per second. But anyway, I'm having a good time. Apart from Jess's heart being broken by this fucking jerk of it. Look, I feel like if you hadn't have been eating, you would have been right there with me.

It just looks bad for me because you were silent for the brutal 10 minutes where I was ripping about dance. And now it looks like I'm a bad guy, but I know you were thinking, yeah, dance is pretty silly. To be honest, Dave, I would not have been there with you at all. And maybe with this whole bloody, sorry, state of affairs could have been avoided because I would have been there. Shoulder to shoulder with Jess in defensive dance. Because more than anything, I love to dance.

and I'll dance you out of this fucking room right now if you give me just a moment take your headphones off you piece of shit Yeah, alright, yeah, good Alright, they're off Yeah, alright, let's do it Stand up Alright, I'm standing

Can we, can we just... Let's just finish up the podcast Oh, we can have... Something like you've seen me dance before, right? Oh, it's amazing Here's a fun fact, self-taught. Get out. No, I don't believe that for a second.

No, I'm telling you. Now you're lying. You've had lessons. You think classically trained. I've seen you dosy dough like to the best of them. Self-taught. Wow. A lot of that is just feeling.

No, you're right. That's what it is. And the rest of it is YouTube. Oh, well, YouTube step by step. I thought the rest of it is alcohol. Oh, I mean, yeah, sure there's a bit of alcohol involved as well. I mean, if you're going to be technical about it. Jesus.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what you're going to take away from this. Maybe you're on team dance or maybe you're on team day. Probably nothing. And if you're Irish, I'm sorry. I tried. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening. I don't know if you are Team Dance. Hashtag, Jess, Team Dance, hashtag Team Dave.

What? If you're on my side. And you also think that dance is a little silly. But you can get in contact with us at any time, anywhere in the world. And if I'd said that in 1990, it would have blown your mind, but you live in 2016, so you know that that's, anything is like that. Yeah, it's very doable. You can email us do go on pod at gmail.com, suggest a topic at do go on pod on

Twitter, Facebook.com slash do go on pod. And you can get in contact anytime, like I say, with a suggestion for a topic to go into Matt's hat, or the podcast hat that Matt likes to don. And I will be back next week with one of those things. If you want to share this podcast around or give us a review on iTunes or whatever you used to download this podcast, that is always most appreciated. But until then, I will river dance off and I will say, goodbye. Hey, Jess. I'm really sorry about Dave. That's cool.

let's go hang out let's fuck daver yeah let's fuck david later's Dave you piece of shit I regret nothing don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there wherever we go we always hear six months later

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