Do Go On - 471 - The Illuminati

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

Okay, it's time to find out the TRUTH about the Illuminati ... (confirmed?)This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 2:38 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/nov/22/what-is-illuminati-google-autocompletehttps://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20171127-the-birthplace-of-the-illuminati https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170809-the-accidental-invention-of-the-illuminati-conspiracyhttps://bitterwinter.org/illuminati-and-political-controversy-from-jefferson-to-trump/?_gl=1*rqkp87*_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjwx4O4BhAnEiwA42SbVGWg-vlLPOaxu00ZJdDkUsqRnSQmMp900WUb0I65aoCNqQeipAAKZRoCIH4QAvD_BwE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Oh my God, it's so good to be here. How good is it be alive?

Jess, how are you? Oh, I wish I was never born. But it is Blocktober, baby. Should you make an exception for this month? Oh, yeah. And I'll think about it for next month too. Great, Bluvember. Bluember.

Yes, that's right, because Blocktober is the time and I think it has been for about seven years where we count down our most voted for, our most popular, our most suggested topics of the year. We used to do it just for October, aka Blockbuster Tober, aka Blocktofer Grace period. Yes. Okay, I think we used to go on even longer than that. But now we have also annex November, which has now become Blovember. So it's two months, which usually means nine topics, which is what it is this year. Yeah.

Wow. And we're reaching the halfway point right now because we're about to. hear all about the fifth most voted for topic. Top five. Top five. We're in it. It's going to be huge. And I'm not feeling the pressure at all.

Let me tell you, I feel very cool and calm about it. That's good to know. That's perfect. That's such good news. Woo! Oh my God, you're not only calm. You're pumped. Oh, God.

Oh, please. I need a break. So, okay. For anybody who's joining us because they've seen this topic, you know, on Spotify or on Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast and you've gone, I want to know more about that, but you have no idea who we are. Hello, you don't know who we are? I walk past the studio and it said the name of the topic and I came in. That's true. He did do do that and he does it every week. Welcome, Dave and welcome all the new listeners. Yeah, well,

we usually get onto the topic with a question because usually the other two don't know what the topic is. In this case, you might, you do technically know it whether or not you remember it. Yeah, because we had to divvy these up like a month or so ago. Yeah, yeah. I could be projecting because I always forget, but there's a chance you may have forgotten or you might be aware or it might be some, you know, vague in the back of your head somewhere. Yes, I can't remember. I keep thinking it's Amityville, but I did that, about three weeks ago. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not that. Okay. That'd be bizarre if they voted for it twice, though. And I keep thinking about it's the why the Mona Lisa is so famous, but that was me nine years ago. Yeah, that was episode one. So, no, it's not either of those two. I'll ask the question to help jog your memory.

Oh, beautiful. Please remind me. Which secret society originated in Bavaria and is blamed for most significant events in modern history. Stone cutters. Stone cutters are based on... We talked about the Freemasons a lot recently on a bonus episode that we did on Patreon. That's the triangle people. What are they called?

The Illuminati. Oh, I think I got it out first for Bob who keeps scores for this. The question, Bob, is it whoever starts the answer, whoever finishes the answer first? Because I think the triangle people was me starting the answer. Yeah. And then me saying, Illuminati was me finishing. I actually think Dave started and finished the word Illuminati first. But you said it with more enthusiasm and for longer.

And that has to count for something. That's got to count for something, Bob. We'll leave that up to Bob's discretion. Leave that up to Bob. So the topic is the Illuminati. Whoa. And that's scary, right? That's, well.

That we're talking about them. Potentially, yeah. Well, this is the topic where I've heard of it. I don't know anything about it, but I'm scared of. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that's a lot of our topics. Maybe less so the scared bit. I think where do go on sits is references you've heard on The Simpsons.

We explain a lot of those. And like, things you know the name of, but not much of the history or the origins. Love that. That's where we sit. We didn't go through it on the Amityville episode, but do you remember the Tree House of Horror episode where the house is saying, get out? Yes, that must be referring to Amityville. And the walls were like slime and changing colors and stuff.

I guess that's what that was referencing. It has to be. Yeah. It'd be really weird if it was something else. Yeah. If they just made that up. Yeah. What do you call it when two people have the same idea at different times?

Parallel thinking or whatever. Is it that? Must be. Could be must be. Could be must be. About 15 years later. But the Illuminati. Luminati.

So yes, that is the topic that we're doing today. I'm going to go mostly into its origins. because obviously there's a lot of conspiracy theory type things in modern era through the Illuminati. And it's hard to find many resources on that without ending up on a watch list. I honestly did not know it was a real thing. Yeah, right. That had an origin story and stuff. I thought it was like, you know, the conspiracy sort of invented it in itself.

Right. No, it was. So there were lizard people in Germany. There were lizard people. over 1700s in Germany. Okay. Actually, its origins are potentially a little disappointing in that they're very normal. But I'll get to that in a sec, because I do just want to shout out to the people who suggested it as well,

because we've had a few people that suggested this topic. Jake Greenhalf from Lismore. Green half, that's half lizard. What's the other half? What's the other half? Or Jake. Jake, which is a human name. Yeah.

We've had Dons from Sydney, Sandy Thai from Ballarat, Clinton from Willow Beach, Ontario, and Sarah Groom from West Sussex. So thank you to those people for suggesting this topic. Let's get into it. So the origin. I should say I assume they're all lizard people as well. They're all this people. They just don't make it so obvious as half green. Come on, mate.

Come on, mate. Hiding in plain sight, huh? So, born in 1748 in England. Engelstad Bavaria, Adam Weisheop, came from a relatively modest background. His father died when he was five years old and he was raised by his godfather, Johann Adam Freya von Ixtat. By the way, Germans, so many German names in this, I'm going to butcher all of them. I'm aware of it. I'm doing my best, but you don't have to tell me in the comments each individual one I fuck up.

I've been a Bavaria and I think you're nailing it. Thank you so much. I needed that. And what an incredible name. Look, I had six, seven names. Johann Adam Freya von Ixtat. So good. Who was a prominent academic and proponent of enlightenment ideals and rationalism. There's also, throughout this report, a lot of talk of various religious sects that aren't really around anymore.

You should have seen him lean into the microphone. I just thought maybe Dave's favorite Wikipedia page, I've been coming up, sexually active popes. Wise helped began his formal education at age seven at a Jesuit school, which had a profound impact on his early intellectual development. The Jesuits were known for their strict discipline and conservative religious teachings, emphasizing obedience and loyalty to the Catholic Church. This early exposure to rigid ecclesiastical authority would later fuel his desire to challenge the church's influence.

I've got to know the rules to break the rules. That's right. Yeah. That's right. like jazz. Yeah, all right, did it all the theory. Now, fuck the theory. Yeah.

Watch me to a solo. A little bit of background in the area at the time. So the ideals of enlightenment spread by philosophers such as rationalism and reason are more prevalent in the Protestant regions of Germany, but in the more Catholic Bavaria, there's a lot less tolerance for it. So other parts of Germany, they're kind of like, yeah, enlightenment, which I always struggle to define what that is. but in where they are in Bavaria, they're like,

mm-mm, Catholic and that's it. Very irrational. They're rational over there. We won't stand for that. Yeah, yeah. He later enrolled at the University of Ingolstadt and graduated in 1768 at age 20 with a doctorate of law. And in 73, 1773, he became professor of canon law and practical philosophy

at the University of Ingolstadt. He was the only non-clerical professor in a position that had always been held by a Jesuit at an institution run by Jesuits whose order Pope Clement had dissolved a few years earlier. So the Jesuits, however, they still retained the purse strings and all the power at the university and they sort of continue to treat it as their own. They're like, this is our turf, okay? And he's this like non-cleric who's come in and is teaching canon law and they're like, I don't think so. Come on. He doesn't know anything about cannons. Yeah, exactly. gunpowder, cannonballs.

Never seen a gun. Doesn't know anything about it. No idea. That's like cannons. You can't just jump to cannons. Yeah, you've got to work your way out. What a prick. That's what I would have said.

That's what I don't think that. I've got no opinion. Absolutely not. I'm neutral on this man. Yes. For now. Wise helped. Wise helped.

So the Jesuits made constant attempts to discredit non-clerical staff, especially when course material contained anything they regarded as liberal. Protestant. They're trying to teach and they're just like, bur, disregard. Disregard everything you're saying. They're saying next to him while he's giving his lectures. No, don't write that bit down.

Yeah, don't worry about that. That's bullshit. Surprisingly, Wise helped became deeply anti-clerical, resolving to spread the ideals of enlightenment. I love that, but I would have just quit and gone to and work to another university where they respected what I did. I'm not sure if there were many at the time. But he's worried about these kids and what they're learning.

Yeah, okay. It's important to him. They need to know about. out canons. He's only like his early 20s anyway. So in age of enlightenment, just for anybody, I've just Googled it to refresh my own memory as well. It's an intellectual movement of the 17th and 18th centuries in which ideas concerning God, reason, nature and humanity were synthesized into a worldview that gained wide assent in the West and instigated revolutionary developments in art, philosophy

and politics. So they just kind of, they thought a bit more openly about things. And so Obviously, the Catholics are like, no, no, no, don't think about it. What's your motto? Don't think about it. I think about it. It was a tism song, which I think these clerics might enjoy. It's called, Will the last person to leave the room, please turn off the Enlightenment? I like that.

It's such a long run-up for a song title. A lot of those are, but I like that you have sort of, you can use 10. song titles, autism songs, as a like a framework of understanding the world? Yeah, yeah. It's really nice. So he's like, I'm going to spread these ideals of enlightenment, but he's worried that rumors of his enlightenment ideals might compromise his position at the university. You know, they're going to be like, no, no, no, you're all open-minded and shit.

So a few colleagues told him about the possibility of protecting himself by joining a secret society that was comparatively fairly new to southern Germany and had a reputation to sort of help out its members. And that group was the Freemasons. So he decided to dip his toe in a little bit, not join, but he was kind of like on the perimeter a little bit, chat and to other people. He's sort of saying, is this going to suit him? But there were things he didn't really like about it. He didn't like the rituals attached to it. He found it to be expensive. I'm not really sure if there were like membership fees or you had to like buy your own robes and stuff. Yeah. And he didn't find that they were sort of as like-minded as he had hoped.

They had a raffle every year and they really expected you to sell the whole book. Yeah. Which you ended up doing yourself, obviously. Yeah, you end up just chucking in a 50. And then every six months, there was, you know, the caramel colla drive. Yeah. Oh, did you ever do that and then you just buy more? Of course.

Every time kids would go to school with like an envelope filled with $1 coin. I'd just have a $50 note in there. And my dad was very happy. On day one, my dad would be like, let's buy the box. Yeah, yeah. No problem. How many? Fantastic.

Because a couple years it was inside the big box were smaller boxes of Maltese's. Yes. Did you have that one? Yes, you're right. And it was like, you know, $5 a box or something. And it's like, well, let's just spend $100 and buy more. Yeah. And then we just had like chocolate and lollies for, you know, for a couple of months.

It was like, because mom worked at school, so she'd sometimes take it to, you know, the staff room and be like anybody you want to you know we'd sell a few that way but we'd always be buying the remainder of course of course you're on the staff room behind us saying please don't buy these you are stealing from a hungry girl giant fredos no giant fredos yeah giant fredos giant fredos giant fredos giant fredos taste different to regular fredos and i will die on that hill they do because it's got to be it's thicker the thickness yeah i love i love them love a giant fritto it's why like a party pie dave would taste different to a regular size pie because it's the pastry to filling ratio is different You got to be, yep, you're onto something there.

Yeah, you get them like edge on every bite. Yeah. And for some, that's better. Yeah. Normal size, Fredo, you're doing like one bite, maybe two if you're being conservative. If you're enjoying it. A giant, for, you can snap bits off all that all day. You can make that bad boy last.

Oh, so good. I couldn't. That's why I bought the box. I'm saying like 10 minutes. Yeah. That was me really. I had a next door neighbor who was a good friend of mine. And sometimes my, this is when we were. little, mom would give us, you know, five bucks each or whatever, and we'd get to go to the local

milk bar and buy some lollies and then we'd ride our bikes home. And mine would be gone by the time we got home. And then she would save hers and then she'd have like, like a few and then go home. And I was like, I don't know how you just did that. But then we like, can I have one? Yeah. I was like, well. If it's one cent a piece, you can make, you can make a dollar last with us. One cent. Well, no, that would have been in your time, but in my time. Yeah, five cents a piece for us. Whoa. Yeah, I know.

Inflation, baby. Inflation, that's incredible. These days, it's probably five bucks a piece. Yeah. And that's why kids can't buy a home. Yeah. They're buying fizzos. Stop buying them fizzos.

My primary school canteen, you could buy one barbecue shape for five cents. That's... Or three for ten. That's so funny. The profit margin on that is incredible. That's insane, especially because little mini packets of barbecue shapes exist. They'd be like selling a box for like the equivalent of $50. That's insane.

This is in the 90s. Why would you buy one barbeces? shape? Why would you do that? That's so chronic. Well, obviously there was a market for it. Who? It's mostly perhaps you come up and go, what can I buy for this and sludge five cents? Yeah, that money that found in the playground. It's in the sandpit. And they'd give him a barbecue shape. You can get one juicy fruit, which was like a lolly, like a fruit lolly or one barbecue shape. I'd go to the juicy fruit. Juicy fruit. I was chewing gum in my day. Yeah, same. Was it like a little piece of chewy? No, you can swallow it.

There was like, you know, black, current orange pineapple flavor. And I think the positive spin was, it's made with the real fruit juice. Oh, yeah. Zero point zero zero one. Wow. Even if it was full of real fruit juice, it's still. We're looking after our kids. So anyway, he decided, I don't want to pay five cents for a barbecue shape.

Yeah. Maybe I start my own thing. He's like, well, Jesus, Dave. Jump ahead much. Okay, now, mate. Spoilers. I think Dave might have just revealed that he knows a little. bit about this secret society.

I think I do do do do do a little too much. Wow. And I love our fearless leader. What was his name again? Adam Weiss helped. That will never stick in my mind. No, me either. I can't.

It's a struggle every time. Wise helped. There are some, yeah, anyway. So the way that the Freemasons work as an organisation is that there's a hierarchy that requires a member to complete higher levels. They call those levels degrees. So there's usually three degrees in a lodge, which is like their clubhouse. But some offshoots had up to like 30 different degrees.

They'd sort of make up their own hierarchies and different titles and stuff like that. I did any degree last night. I'm the boss now. I'm now a high priest of this lodge. I'll just made that up. So the main takeaway is that Weiss helped want to continue promoting and discussing these ideals of enlightenment. And he realized that the safest and smartest way to do that is through some sort of secret. society. So he decided to establish his own. Okay, Dave, you were right. Thanks for the

spoiler. He decided to start his own. Wow. Which was of course called Bunde Perfection Blist or covenant of perfectability or the perfectibilists. Oh, I like that a lot. The perfectibilists. Perfectibilists. Obviously, he later changed it because it sounded too strange. But for quite a while, it was the perfectibilists or the covenant of perfectability. I loved your German. That was awesome. I don't think German people loved it. Yeah, can we hear it?

Dave is German, Jess. Yeah, that's right. You get the approval from me. Bunda perfectibilistin. Ooh, yeah. Love that. Ooh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. But by the time this comes out, are we already in Germany? Have we been to Germany? Have we been gone? No, no, no, we're about to. This weekend. Oh, my God, exciting.

So the show is sold out, but you can. You know, obviously we'll be there. I'm sure I'm practicing my German really well. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, somebody in the Patreon said, don't worry about learning any German phrases, particularly in Berlin.

Everyone will speak English too. And I was like, oh, great. We're only there four days. I don't have time to learn language. Anyway, tickets still available to the UK and Ireland shows. What languages do they speak there? I guess we'll find out. Okay, right.

Hopefully it's a lot of expats, so they understand us. Yeah. Most of those should sort out, too, but some of them have got tickets, right? That's right. Yeah. Have a look online. You're adults, figure it out.

Oh, and I'm doing Who New It's. Yes. Go to those. London, Leicester. First time ever going to Leicester. And Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Dave's going to be at the London show with The Lawman.

It's going to be awesome. Oh, exciting. Love those guys. Great part. I have stuff to do that day. Really important stuff. Very important. But I will try to make it.

Yeah. Don't tell people where you're. No, I'm not going to. Because you know. They'll turn up. Everyone will turn up to that and they'll ruin my day. And they'll ruin my day. Everyone will go to the York to just to watch you for free.

Me just walking around. I'm ticketed. I thought you were you having tea with the king? I'm having tea with the king. Yeah, yeah. We've been trying to tee it up for ages and... Dave, what were we just saying? Don't say.

I'm pretty sure Charles has got security. Yeah, they're not just going to let anybody walk into the Bucking Palace. They'll let me in, obviously. Yeah, well, they invited you. I have a booking. Charlie and I have been... Why are saying the son? of the queen?

She was unavailable. Okay. Long may she rain. She might be quite some time. Yeah. So I was like, all right, fine. Charlie and I, we've been emailing back and forth. Are you coming to Australia or anytime soon?

Are you coming to the UK? I was like, yeah, I am. But look, I've really only got one day off. So it's only if you can fit me in. Yeah, that sort of stuff. Did you see? And I didn't even click on the link, but I saw her heading saying that he didn't know what Klingrap was and was afraid when he saw it.

That honestly doesn't surprise me. But I don't know, I didn't click on it so I don't know if it was like a satirical thing or a real thing. I think that makes complete sense to me. First I've heard of it by like, I'd honestly be surprised if he's ever wiped his own ass. Really? Yeah, like I don't think they're really in touch with like anything. They're assholes. Yeah, it doesn't.

I think that's absurd. But I also think like, yeah, why would he see cling wrap? He's never going to the fridge for leftovers, is he? Anyway, so he's now set up his own thing called the Bundesliga. The perfectibilists. The perfectibilists. So in May of 1776, he and four students formed the perfectibilists, taking the owl of Minerva as their symbol.

So in Greek mythology, a little owl traditionally represents or accompanies Athena, the virgin goddess of wisdom, or Minerva, her Roman mythology counterpart. It's all good fun stuff. So they've got a little owl is their symbol. That's fun. Love a little owl. Love it. Perfectable as members also used aliases within the society.

There's only five of them. I'm excited for this. So Wyshaft became Spartacus. Law students, Massenhausen, Bauhov, Murs and Souter became respectively. Sorry, also going to be Spartacus and they all say, no, I'm Spartacus. No, they became Ajax, Agathon, Tiberius.

and my personal favourite, Erasmus Rotodamus. Tiberian. Last week, was it? Or the week before, with Alastair, we were talking about how that name needs to come back. Yeah, we bring back Tiberius. We love it. Fully agree. But there's a new frontrunner.

What was that last one? Erasmus Roto Damus. That's incredible. Erasmus, I reckon, is around a little bit. How? I've heard, I think, you know, I think there were three or four arasmuses in my year level. Arasmus F. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As a Jess, that was triggering because I had to be Jess P all the time. Actually, I had a French teacher that refused to call us all Jess, so one of us had to be Jessica, one got to be Jess, and I had to be Jesse, just because she refused to just use our,

call us all Jess. There was three of us in the class. That's weird. It was weird, she was a weird teacher. So you were Jessie? I was Jesse. Or the other two? Jess and Jessica.

That's a bad system. And I didn't like how she said Jesse. I can be a bit funny about Jesse. Some people say it like a normal word, no problem. But she would say like, Jesse, and I was like, shut up. It's patronising. Anyway, Massenhausen proved initially the most active in expanding the society. He was sort of, he was recruiting.

Significantly, while studying in Munich shortly after the formation of the order, he recruited a guy called Xavier von Zwack. Swack. Zwack. Zwack comes up a bit. Swack is fantastic. Xavier von Zwack. Yeah, that's a great.

name. That's good. Someone out there is collecting a list of great names. I think that one has to go straight in. Xavier von Zwack. He was a formal pupil of Weisshapped and it was just at the beginning of Zwack's significant career. At the time, he was in charge of the Bavarian National Lottery. Oh. Exciting stuff. But soon, Massenhausen's enthusiasm became a liability in the eyes of Weisheapt due to his attempt to recruit candidates that Weishept felt were unsuitable. Oh, he was just trying to get anyone. He was just firing in. in the market. He was just like,

hey, everybody. He was just like, join my secret society. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Wise Helps was like, I think we need to be a little more selective.

Yeah. Later, Massenhausen's erratic love life made him neglectful. And as Wise helped pass control of the Munich group to Zwack, it became clear that Massenhausen had misappropriated subscriptions and intercepted correspondence between Wisehapped and Zwack. So,

Massenhausen wasn't really been a team player. Come on, as a moment. Yeah. Exactly. That sounds like he's having a good time though. Oh, he's having a great time. Erratic love life.

If there's a word. Not erotic. You want erotic, not erratic. I think I might have misheard. I imagine me going erotic love life. But you're right. Erratic's not good, is it? No.

Well, I guess, yeah. What does that mean? That's the inconsistent, is it? Yeah. Hot and cold. Sometimes you're up all night. Then you know, you're alone for three weeks. That's okay.

Yeah, I might have one of those. I think I might have an erratic love watch. So in 1778, Massenhausen graduated and took a post outside of Bavaria and he was no longer part of the order. But at this time, the order had around 12 members. They've gone from 5 to 12. Huge. Okay. In April, the order became the Order of the Illuminati after Wise Help had seriously contemplated the name B order.

B order Like B, E. Yeah, she went on to be one of the golden girls. I fucking knew. You knew the golden girls? I knew he would make a B. Arthur joke. I knew it.

Whenever you do that, I say, I hate it when you do that and then you do it anyway. What? Block. That's called blocking, Jess. Block to over. Oh my God. And that doesn't make sense.

That does make sense. And I do forget you didn't do the first two levels. Yeah. I forget. But... You hate it when I get excited about a joke you make. No, I hate it when you go. I knew you would.

I knew you would. So I should just keep that to myself. Well, I don't think you will, but... No, no, that's good feedback. I can give that to myself? But I'll just like, I'll wink it, Dave. Can I wink it Dave? Yeah, I guess you can.

Do you want me to high five of you or something? No. Because I'm like, I'm excited that you've done it. Yeah. Like, as soon as I said, B, order, I was like, that sounds like me, Arthur. Yeah. You know? So then I was like, come on.

You know, it's that kind of... vibe. I'm not like, you fucking predictable piece. I knew it. Yeah, it's not that. So I'll change my tone, but also I'll just stop doing it. I mean, this whole conversation just makes me think, thank you for being a friend. Because I'm being a really good friend to Matt right now. I'm taking on feedback. You're a palant confidant. Well, I'm trying. I didn't know what I was doing was really upsetting to Matt and I want to, I want to be better. So I'm taking on that feedback. What does it be, what does that even mean?

Exactly. Fantastic question. the bees? Yeah, who knows. So they went for Illuminati instead. Okay. So it's the third name. Perfectability, they went, or maybe this is perfectibilists or something. They're like, this sounds a bit ridiculous. Let's change to B order. The order sounds like something that, you know, like grade two kids would come up with or something. Yeah. Like it's a, we're in the Bair order. It's a secret order. Yeah. And we run around going, blis, blis, blis, is there a chance that we'd all be like talking about, oh my God, the secret society is running the world. They're called the bee order.

You know the be orders behind 9-11. It would not have happened, would it? Like, that would feel silly. It's often in the name, isn't it? It needs to sound a bit more interesting, intriguing. Aluminati. What is that? What does that mean? I still don't know. I'm not really sure either. Oh, there's no reason for the name. Uh, not that I came across.

Just sounds cool, probably. Yeah. It's like why was your band called Wheat Hornet? We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. Just sounded cool. You can't know. And yes, coincidentally. some people would say that there was a whippersnipper in the garage called a Weed Hornet. But we'd already named the band weeks before that. Prove it. You can't. We didn't know.

So with Massenhausen gone, Zwhack threw himself into recruiting, more mature and important recruits. They're going for like people with power. 60 plus. Most prized by Weiss helped was a man named Herzl, who was a childhood friend and a canon of a particular church. A canon is a title. They're basically priests. Hurtzel's a great name Hurtle. Hurtle. Hurtle.

Not as good. That's good. What a shame. No, you punched it up. It actually kind of sucks now, yeah. It's bad. Oh, hurdle. Yeah, you know, hurt people, hurt people, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Hurtle? Like hurtling through space? Maybe that's better? Oh, yeah. Look, maybe I'm okay with it. Yeah, but it's not as good as Hurtzell. No, Hurtzels.

It's amazing. By the end of summer of 1778, the order had 27 members, sort of in five different groups. During this early period, the order had three grades, or like, degrees, levels. They call them all sorts of different things. You had novice, minerval, and illuminated Minerval, of which only the Minerval grade involved a complicated ceremony. So the middle one had a ceremony, but then it was quite easy to become the third one.

Minerval, I don't know why that sounds so funny, but that is... I think it must be. because of the owl, the owl of Minerva or something. Minerval. It just sounds... I'm a Minerval and the Illuminati. I don't think the Minervals were going to be suspected of doing anything either. Illuminati has done a lot of the work so far.

The Minervals. We're the Minerval Society. Okay. Point Dexter. Yeah. Take a hike. Embarrassing, isn't it? At the moment, it does sound like, with so small amount of members that he's just

recruiting for like a dinner party. Yeah. He just wants interesting people to come around to have a conversation. He's one's friends. What do you think about, you know, God and earth and... Yeah. But he wants people that agree with him. Yeah.

So it's like... Echo chamber. Yeah, yeah. That was thinking about calling it the echo chamber nardi. But... Acha chamber nada. I like that. Hmm.

That's not bad. Do you think it's too late? Write that down. Maybe I'll send Werner Herzog a letter. Werner Hurtzog. Yes. You could send Werner Herzog a letter. And it'd be like, what...

What's happening here? Dave, you do his voice? I don't think I can do it. I've just, you've just received a letter from me saying, why don't you change the name of it to whatever I just said? And then how would you respond? Name. That's good stuff.

He has a cameo in Parks and Rec that I just watched the other day. He has this piece to camera, completely deadpan of being like, after 47 years of living in this house, I've decided to move to Florida to be closer to Disney World. That's really good. It's a really good bit. Anyway. That was pretty good, I think, I was doing that to get you into it.

Without Ben Russell present, I think Jess is the next best Werner-Hutzog. I'm a Ben Russell type. Yes. Okay, so they've got these three grades in their new society, and basically a system of dibodbbing kept, wise helped informed of the activities and character of all of his members. They were just kind of like, everybody was sort of be like, yeah, no, no, no, I think Dave's great. But I did see him talking to some Catholics. What about the dibobinati?

Dibbadobinati. Dibbotti Dibbundati. I like that. I think that could be really good. And for international listeners, the dibedobber is a tattletail. There you go. It's dibedobber one of else. Surely.

Oh, my God. Listen to it and say, oh, is that international or could that be Australian? To me, it sounds really English. Yeah, it probably is. Oh, a Tibitoba. He dibed and he dobed I'm going to go down the pub for a dibedobber Pagipakop scratchings and dibobber

They're crazy, you're there Can't wait to be there Can't wait to be there Come along to our show So yeah, they're all kind of dibodobbing on each other And his favourites Sort of become members of the ruling council Which they then called the

The ruling council, there's 27 members, mate I know And I don't know how many are in the ruling council But they're called the Eurepagus Arariopagus Ararapagus I don't know how to say that word Could you only be part of the council

If you could say it properly Yeah so I'm out I'm stuck a novice A little white belt in Tyco one over I'm confused So they were The people they were seeking

To recruit They were looking for Christians of good character While pagans and Jews Was specifically excluded Along with women, monks Members of other secret societies Great

Because they're not in light They're not enlightened. And we want people that are like-minded. Women can't think like-minded people. We want like-minded people to come and enlighten us. That's right. With the same thoughts. Their perfect candidate was rich, docile, willing to learn and aged 18 to 30.

Oh, my God. I was in for so much of that. So much. I fell at the last hurdle. Honestly, that was for a long time what I was looking for on Tinder. Rich, docile. 18 to 13's too young. God.

But willing to learn? Okay. How to cook. My preferred dishes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is like the 17th century version of looking for a man in finance. Yes. Trust fund.

Is it because they want to exploit their cash? Yeah, that's right. My wife's into. I knew it was your wife. Yeah, she educates me online. I was letting you have credit for knowing an internet term. I know. I knew where it came from.

I know nothing. I know nothing. I'm a little worried about what your wife's up to. She's looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. She did not find one. Blue eyes. That's what his wife's up to.

I have blue eyes, so I've ticked at least one box. Ticked a box. You're a trust fund. I've settled up for you. It has 25 cents in it. Thank you. Dibber, W, you're right, Jess. It looks like it's Australian.

Here's the thing, Matt. Here's a thing. You know what you just said? You're right, Jess. I'm always fucking right. Yeah, that's true. Dauber apparently comes at the early. evidence according to Oxford English Dictionary.

It's from 1836 in Nicobocca magazine borrowing from the Dutch Dauber. So that's just Dauber, but apparently we added the Dibber. Yeah. And I think that's really what takes Dibber Dobber to the next level. Maybe Dobber could be the entry level of our Secret Society. And then the second level is Dibbadob. And then, well, the high, the high Dibbba. Illuminated Dibbubber.

Yeah. That's nice. by priest of Dobb and dib. But are they trying to get these riches in because they want their cash? I guess. Yeah, I don't really know why rich would be important. Yeah, are they exploiting these people because they're like, hey, be part of our society and also fund our society.

But maybe it's also like if you're wealthy, you are probably moving in different circles, which then means like people of power. Bit of influence. Yes, it's probably that. So, Wyshaft struggled to dissuade some of the people. his members from joining the Freemasons. So instead, he decided to join the order to snoop and learn their ways. Because you know how before he'd sort of looked at me, he didn't join.

He's just kind of like, now he's like, all right, well, I can't, I sort of, I prefer that my secret society members are only in my secret society, but a bunch of them keep wanting to join this other secret society. So I'm also going to join, I'm going to snoop and learn their ways, take a few of their rituals and their practices and I'm going to use them. Right. They've got awesome marketing. I need to work at what they're doing.

How are they doing it? That's clear. It's Intel. He's figuring out it's opo. What do they call it? Opo research. So he's trying out. That's got to be a straw. I don't know. Oppo. Opposition. I think that's what they talk about. I like that. Yeah. Unless I'm making that up. But I don't think. I never heard about it. I like it as well. But yeah, this is similar to a story Dave told us on on the Patreon feed. Yes, Leo Taxil, if you want to look at up. There's a whole episode about a guy who was sort of in and out of of the secret societies as well.

Yeah, writing a few... A lot of twists and turns. Unauthorised histories, but we won't say too much more. No, but yeah, that's really interesting. It's smart to, if you can get away with it. Yeah. If it was in a movie, there'd be all these moments where he's almost uncovered as a spy. And I think for Adam Weissup, because he'd never started a secret society before,

he was kind of like, I don't really know what these higher levels should be. Yeah. I'm going to go and figure out, like, how the levels work and what the differences are and what kind of power and influence and whatever comes with different levels. So he's there to snoop. Is this why they ended up with the pyramid? Because that's all about the pyramid, like the hierarchy of needs or whatever's the pyramid, right? So is that what the pyramid is? They're working up the levels to the peak of the pyramid? I don't know. Yeah, possibly. Where the eye is? I think that. Or is that just on the American money? And that's nothing to do with the

Luminati at all? No, the I's the Lividati. They're mad for it. Is that even on the American one? But it's on the cash. Yeah. Do you, do we find out how it gets the cash? Did you look into that? No. No.

No. No, don't worry, brother. Stop asking questions. Shut up. Oh, my God. For the love of God. Just is maybe not trying to tell the full story here. Yeah, are you sweeping under the road?

Yeah. I think by the time we get to the end, of this you might feel differently. Ooh. So he joins the Freemasons. He's admitted to Lodge Prudence of the right of strict observance. He's a prude. He's a prude.

They're a Masonic body from the 18th century, very prevalent in Germany. So he joins them in 1777. Just fun to say. I believe it. I'm in the Perv-Budge. I'm in the Peril Lodge. No pants allowed, boys. Leave them at the door.

There's a sorting hat. type scenario. Mm, yes. Mm. Dave, Mm. You're a purve. You're thinking,

disgusting, dirty little thoughts. Why are you thinking, please don't put me in Perv? So he's in the Prud Lodge. He's in the Prud Lodge. And he sort of progressed through some of the degrees, but it didn't really give him the information he wanted. He wanted to understand more about the secretive higher degrees,

but obviously it's secret. Right, you've got to work your way out, pal. Yeah, he didn't really get very far. Zwack persuaded. Weishaupt that their own order should enter into a friendly relation with the Freemasonry and obtain the dispensation to set up their own lodge. So they did that. They got like a special permission from the Grand Lodge of Prussia called the Royal Yorker Friendship.

That's all one title. Wow. That's awesome. And they opened their own new lodge, which was called Theodore of Good Counsel. The intention was to flatter Duke Carl Theodore. So they named it after him. That's clever. Try to suck up a little.

So, Theodore of Good Council was founded in Munich in 1779 and quickly packed with Illuminati. Now, a new lodge needs a new Freemason master at the helm, and a man called Rattle was the man put in charge. But he wasn't one of Wyshop's men, and he was persuaded over time to return home to Baden. And by July, Wyshap's order ran the lodge. So they've kind of like, they had, they put like a Freemason in charge and they're like, you know what? You should. I'm not missing home? Actually, you should go home.

Jeez, Baden. You know something about Baden. We do not get strudel like in Baden. Yes. Baden, which I assume is where you're from. Yeah. Should, oh, don't you miss it. I don't you miss the strudels.

So, oh, you think about visiting. Why do you move back? Why? Your wife is missing you, I'm sure. I'm sure. Are you married? You should be. You should be.

With those eyes. Let's get you a wife. In Baden eyes. Yeah. I'll be local ass. So then they put their man. You're a Baden, 10. Yeah.

Over here, honestly, you're a Munich. Three. You're a Munich battler, but you are a tan in Baden. There's nothing wrong with being a big fish in a small pond, mate. Because you're the biggest fish. You can hardly bloody turn around. Yeah. That's how big you are.

You feel the whole pond. You will be just batten away other beautiful fish. You are the sexiest fish in that pond. You're the sexiest fish in that point. You're a hot fish. Yeah. Not here. No, my God.

Here you are. repulsive. You're a disgusting fish. You are a sturgeon. Yes. Yes. Over there, rainbow trout. I'm saying this because I love you. Yeah. And I want what's best for you. I'm sorry if it seems brutal, but fuck off. You have to leave. You have to leave because you're ugly here. And you're making us all feel gross. I cannot look at you. So the next step involved independence from their Grand Lodge. So they, they established relations with the Union Lodge in Frankfurt, which was affiliated with the Premier Grand Lodge of England, and somehow that then means they were able to declare its independence. There's, there's mother lodges, and then

smaller lodges off that, and they've now broken off, they're independent, and now they are the mother lodge, which means they can now spawn lodges of their own. So the Illuminati is just starting inside Freemasonry. You're kind of both. You're a Freemason and an Illuminati. But it was better for getting new members, they thought, if we join this big thing, we just look legit, but then we can run our own little version. Yeah, we can sort of, we can, we can have our own kind of chats and, and, and talk about what we want to talk about, but within Freemasonry. Very strange.

They were able to recruit among the Frankfort Freemasons, and this is where they met Adolf Nigg, who would go on to be very influential in the Illuminati. Right. A bit of foreshadowing. That's not how you say his name, but it's how I'll be saying his name. because it's borderline problematic. So, no, it just is problematic. His first name's Adolf.

I know, so it's like, it's no better if I start calling him by his first name. But I'm going to call him Nigg. Right. Okay, we'll fill in the blanks there, my God. He was, I'll tell you later. He was of German nobility. He lost his parents young and inherited a large death. Despite this, he studied law and achieved a respected position.

By his late 20s, he'd already reached the highest ranks in his Freemason order and had plans on how to reform the Freemasons. He was like, oh, this is great. but here's how we could make it better. But he was disappointed to learn that there wasn't much support for his ideas. And in late 1780, at a convention of the right of strict observance, he met Costanzo Marquesi di Costanzo. Oh my God. Costanzo's in there twice.

This is one of the great name episodes. It's wild. Can we hear it again, please? Costanzo Marquesi di Costanza. Oh. He's a 10 wherever he goes. Now, the de Costanzo is just like of Costanza. Anyway, I don't understand. But it's like Jess of Jess.

Wow. He's a Freemason as well. He introduced Nick to the Illuminati and its Minerval grade materials, like some papers and pamphlets and stuff, which contained banned liberal literature. And Nick's there with some friends, and they've like, the friends have lost interest, but he's intrigued. So Weishaupt soon contacted him,

recognizing that he had valuable connections and shared goals of education and protecting society from oppression. So Weishapt gave him the time. task of recruiting new members before he would be allowed to join higher ranks. He's like, yeah, yeah, no, of course. Like, yeah, come on here. We want you to rise up the ladder, but you are going to have to recruit a few people's best. It's like a bring a gig. Yeah, yeah, you have to have an audience if you want to perform. That's right. So Nick's recruitment efforts were successful, as many Freemasons were attracted to his description of the Illuminati's

aims. He believed in the most serene superiors, which Weishap claimed to serve. Weishap It was like there are like higher ups above me. They're very secretive, very old, very wise. They don't exist. They don't exist. Oh, so that's not God like a supreme being. It's like these, it's like a leader's that. I think so.

Yeah. And so it's real clever stuff like if you work in retail or whatever. You always want to. I'd love to give you the discount. But my manager. But really tight on this stuff. Yeah. The system actually won't allow me to override the price.

He's done that. Yeah. Honestly. Would love to help you out. I would really love to help you out. Do you want a wash bag with your purchase? That's what I always had to add. I hear you complain.

Honestly, I'm on your side. But the Supreme being back there doesn't want to put this through. No, he won't come out and talk to you. No, he's very busy. I'm so sorry. So did you still want to take this or? And you're also like, I'm 14.

You're a woman in your mid-40s. Why are you yelling at me to fix this for you? I genuinely can't. I don't. I can't do. but I work for minimum wage 10 hours a week. So, Nick, sort of, he struggled with a lack of clear information about the Illuminati's higher ranks,

because he couldn't answer potential recruits questions about how the high levels worked, because Wyshaft would kind of dodge the question. So people were like, yeah, that sounds really interesting. So, like, how do the levels work? And he'd be like, I don't know what I mean? Like, it's kind of like, So, NIG was getting a little bit frustrated, but Wyshap continued to withhold details about the higher grades, instead assigning NIG the task of writing anti-Jesuit pamphlets.

He's like, yeah, cool, no, absolutely. I'd love to answer your questions about that, but could you just write some pamphlets for me? And we'll have that conversation later. What are Jesuits again? They're kind of Christians? Yeah, it's a Catholic group. Right. Yeah.

By January of 1781, Nigg expressed frustration at the lack of information and faced with the prospect of losing Nigg and his Masonic recruits, Wyshap finally confessed that his superiors and the supposed antiquity of the order were fiction. He's like, all up, you're happy? You're happy? I made it all up, okay?

You're happy? I said it was ancient. It's not. It's very new. It's new. I came up with it. It's new. It's only like a few years old, okay?

We're trying to figure it out. Okay. and it would be a lot easier if you went snooping. Okay? If you weren't asking so many annoying questions. This time last week we were called the B order, okay? Okay. I'm a bit embarrassed about our past.

Huh? Huh? I'm feeling a little defensive because I'm trying to figure out this new secret society and you're asking all these questions like, what is this? And I'm like, I don't fucking know. It's a secret. It's a secret. Unbelievable.

You're on a need to know basis and you do not need to know. Remember the first time some action hero said that What a badass moment So cool That's awesome That's probably in like a silent movie or something Yeah Yeah

Yeah I said it with his eyes And then a train came out of you And you were like Whoa I'm scared Yeah Pissed himself

He actually pissed in a cinema It was disgusting Yeah but it was that Everyone pissed everywhere back then Everything was pissed The world was a toilet The floor was pissed It didn't really matter that much

It's embarrassing by today's standards But back then It was A different time Yeah The guy next to me was pissing on purpose. He didn't know that I was pissing him front. So it was pretty much, you know, the perfect crime.

So, yeah, he admits like, okay, I've made it up. There isn't any higher beings. And this isn't ancient. I don't, this is new. Surprisingly calm, Neig embraced the opportunity to shape the higher degrees, tailing them to appeal to potential recruits in Protestant regions of Germany. So he highlighted two key problems with the order.

It's focus on recruiting university students, which then left senior positions filled by inexperienced young men, and its anti-religious sentiment, which alienated senior Freemasons who had the money they were after. So he's like, the two things that you're looking for, which is young people and not religious, I'm actually getting rid of that. Yeah, the one of the main reasons you wanted this whole thing.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get rid of it. Let's scrap that so we can get more people in and basically be exactly like the Freemasons. So given free reign by Weishap and the ruling council, he started to develop these higher grades. He would write it out. He went straight, he got free reign.

Yes. He went from, I'm not telling you to, all right, you do whatever. Well, they actually, they needed him because they were like, we don't actually know how to put this together and he did. So they were sort of like, all right, well, they needed to, they gave him free reign, but they still wanted like final approval on everything. Yeah, they wanted to feel like that was still a judge. Totally.

But they would really just go and like, yeah, that looks good. Yeah, no, that's actually really good I do. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. So, yeah, you can implement that. I'm delegating because that's what good managers do. Yeah, I'll tick off on that. Yeah, you'll actually save me a bit of time because I was about to do that myself. But that's great.

Now I've got more time to do more important stuff because that's what I do. Yeah, I'll probably consult with the elders. Oh, no, you know that's bullshit. Consulting the elders just when I don't have a wank in that room. So, Nick tabulated his new system of grades for the order. This is how they're arranged in three classes, and then the classes are also broken up into different titles. So class one is the nursery.

Brutal. It just seems patronising. It consisted of the novitiate, the Minerval, and the Illuminatus Minor. Then there was class two, the Masonic grades, the three Blue Lodge grades of Apprentice, Companion, and master. Then there's class three, the mysteries. The lesser mysteries were the grades of priest and prince,

followed by the greater mysteries in the grades of mage and king. You could be a king. So funny. Or a mage. It just is a way of, like, having a social group where you get to, like, pick on people. Yeah, you get to rank them. Oh, you're a lowly mage, I'm a king. Guessing this new guy who came up with the ranking.

he's not going to give himself apprentice. No. He's skipping. He's going straight to king. All right, so I'm the king. I'm the king. Come join my club or I'm the king. That's so funny.

These are adults, right? Yeah, these are all adults. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they also respect each other. Respect the ranks. And they all are like-minded. So Niggs recruitment from German Freemasonry was far from random. He targeted the masters and wardens, the men who ran the lodges

and were often able to place the entire lodge at the disposal. of the Illuminati. So one example was in Aachen, where he was able to get Baron de Witt, master of Constancy Lodge, to join the Illuminati, and therefore basically every member of the lodge followed suit. So he's turning full lodges. It's like he's playing Othello. You just have to flip one at the end and then all the ones in the middle flip as well.

So if your boss turns and he goes, hey, we're in the Illuminati now. You have to go, yes, sir, we're all moving. I think it's, yeah, I think it's more just like the boss is like, Hey, so like, what about some of these ideas? And they go, oh, yeah, okay, yeah. What are they doing to convince them? I've no idea. He's already the boss of his own thing.

Why would he... But is it like, hey, you're a sergeant over there. But if you come with us, you can be a major. Yeah, yeah. All right. I think there was just a lot less to do back then. Yeah, yeah. This is the 1770.

Like, James is good a holiday. Yeah, yeah. I'm not really sure exactly what is so appealing to them. What he's saying to bring people over. I'm really not sure. But they're still free masons. They're just also... Right.

In the Illuminati. Maybe he's very charismatic this guy. Must be. Because this is just a cult. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I mean... No, secret society.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess they're different. Yeah, and I'm not really sure. It's so unclear, especially so many years later to be like, what was the point? So in this way, the order expanded really quickly in central and southern Germany and it obtained a foothold in Austria as well. Moving into the spring of 1782, the handful of students that had studied. started the order had swelled to about 300 members. Wow. So it's growing. It's growing quite

quickly. I guess it's like networking as well, right? They're using their connections for business. Absolutely. And that's kind of the, I think, not part of the point of freemasonry back then, but it's certainly part of the, like the more modern view of the Illuminati is that it's people of power helping each other to gain more power and stuff like that. I don't necessarily think that was the case back then. But I mentioned before the right of strict observance, so that's a branch of Freemasonry that claimed direct descendant from the medieval Knights Templar and was a dominant sect at the time, which included the lodges that the Illuminati had sort of infiltrated. It had a very strict hierarchical order and obedience to unknown superiors. It attracted a lot of aristocrats and

intellectuals and there was uncertainty over its true origins which sort of led to division and conflict and it started to splinter the right of strict observance was at a bit of a critical state they were at an impasse and they had a convention to all come together and try to reach a bit of a resolution they're kind of like people sort of going like what are like what are the origins of this because they're apparently ancient or we come from the knights templar and and others like yeah yeah we do and I don't think we do. And so they're, they come together for this big convention. It is the worst of the names I've heard so far.

The strict observance. Yeah, like, I'm in the Illuminati. I'm in the Freemasons. I'm in the Knights Templar. Yeah. I'm in the right of strict observance. Which is Freemasonry anyway. Yeah.

It's not great branding. There's a lot of like, oh yeah, there's a lot of, you go to the Wikipedia page, there's a lot of hyperlinks and they're all just like, oh yeah, that's a part of freemasonry. You're like, okay, so just say your Freemasons. Yeah. Strictor may as well be called the rule following club. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No fun club. So they go, they have this big meeting and a discussion was had about the future of the order and there were 35 delegates there and they're all like, in its current form, strict observance is doomed. Like, we're fucked. So it turned into a debate between German mystics and martinists. Very little actually got achieved in this convention. because they were kind of trying to satisfy everybody,

so they satisfied nobody. And they ended up renouncing the Templar origins of their ritual. They retained all the titles that came from the Knights Templar anyway. It was all, like, just really confusing. Took the best bits. Yeah, they took the best bits, but they said, like, okay, we're not from Knights Templar. Oh, right. Which some people were like, well, they didn't say we're not, but they've renounced it now.

But they winked as well. The one eye winked. Which is what to do with one eye. In the Martinists, they're followers of Martin Lawrence, aren't they? Yes. Big Mama's House. Love Big Mama's House. Big Mama's House, too.

Yeah, somehow the sequel is even better. Yeah, that often is. That's what the Martinus will tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Wikipedia, what the convent of Willem's Bad actually achieved was the demise of the strict observance. It renounced its own origin myth, along with the higher degrees which bound its highest and most influential members.

It abolished the strict control, which had kept the order united, and at eight. alienated many Germans who mistrusted Martinism. So basically, it created a splinter in a group, which is great when you have a new secret society that you're trying to fill up. Ah, good one. So after this convention, Adam Weishapt proposed a federation of German lodgers practicing a unified Freemasonry in its basic three degrees. He's like, all right, everybody, hey, what if we have like a federation?

We all just come together. We're all the same. I don't really know what his plan is here because he, isn't really super into Freemasonry. I think he's just trying to like get everybody on one page. Lodges could then, everybody has the three basic degrees, but then you can add your own if you want. You can have extras. In this federation, Lodgemasters would be elected. No fees would go to a central authority. He's basically trying to make it a way to spread Illuminism and replace the strict observance with the eclectic system of the Illuminati. So he's sort of trying to like make in all

of Freemason, his sort of thing. thinking. But this proposal of Federation came with written denouncements of other influences present within the very lodges they were trying to convert. So they denounced the corruption within German Freemasonry. They criticised wealthy but unsuitable initiates. And they alleged that civil societies decay had infiltrated the lodges. And making these claims, offended a bunch of people who then didn't want to support a federation. So they kind of hurt themselves a little bit there too. So then the Illuminati suffers a little bit as well. They're continuing to try to recruit, especially in Bavaria,

but discontented Freemasons and educated professionals joined the lodge. Lodge Theodore grew, it expanded into Austria, Switzerland and other regions. By 1784, they had around 650 members, though other claims suggest it could have been closer to like 1,300. So they've grown a fair bit. There was also another group called the Rosicrucians. Incredible. That's good. Rosicrucians.

Yeah, I think it's good because it doesn't. doesn't mean anything like obvious. Yeah, I can't read it. It probably means like red dog or something. I can't read it without thinking crustacean. Crustation. Red lobsters. Red lobsters.

So he wanted to, Wyshopped wanted to keep the Illuminati hidden from the Red Lobsters because they were very influential in German Freemasonry. They were Protestant, the Rosicrucians. They loved the clerics. They were pro monarch. They held views that were very conflicting with the Illuminati vision. And so he was sort of trying to keep the Illuminati quiet from them because they were influential. He didn't want them to like, I don't know, destroy his plans.

But they did become aware of him. And they had their main lodge or the big lodge was called the Three Globes. It accused the Illuminati of atheism and revolutionary tendencies. And essentially they labeled the Illuminati as a political anti-Christian Masonic sect. And the Three Globes refused to recognize. as Illuminati members as Freemasons. The three globes, that's pretty good. Don't mind that.

Yeah, that's a good symbol. Big, beautiful globes. Do you know where, what was Germany at this point? Is this like the Prussian Empire or something? I'm so confused by, so Germany has a country certainly been around right since the 20th century or something? Or the late 19th century? Yeah. Yeah.

So back in this point, it's, it's, it's. Is it still just like little Bavaria is its own state? I think so, yeah. Not 100% sure, but I believe so, yeah. Right. So, yeah, I find that really interesting. Dave, as a German, can you? I also find that interesting.

I qualify. So now we get to, to Nick leaving the Illuminati. So Wyshafted, he kind of alienated him who had, Nick had expanded the Illuminati, but he felt underappreciated. And they kind of clashed on some of their main ideas. So it sort of led to some friction over recruiting people because, yeah, they thought they sort of had two different ideals. And so anybody that Nick was recruiting, Wyshop was like, no, they don't think like me.

They disagreed over the priest grade. And Wyshafted demanded a rewrite of the ritual. but Nick pointed out that it was already circulated with Washup's blessing, and it was told to everybody that that was ancient. So how do we now rewrite something? We've found something even older. How do we go like, oh no, no, no, no. He sounds like it's a nightmare to work for.

Yeah, yeah. And this all fell on deaf ears. So they are like still bullshitting to the followers. This is ancient. There's these old stuff here. Yeah. We found this. Really, it's a guy just writing in his back room.

It's making it up. So Wyshop now claimed to other Illuminati that the priest's ritual was flawed because Nigg had invented it and offended Nick now threatened to tell the world how much of the Illuminati ritual he had made up, which caused a bit of a rift. So in 84, Nigg left the order and under their agreement, he returned all relevant papers and Wyshap published a retraction of all slander against him. Oh, we found an even older statement. Yeah. It wasn't him. It wasn't him.

But they had just lost basically their best recruiter and theoretician. Yeah, it seems like their most... Useful. Totally. Yeah, the only guy who knows how it works. How to put it all together. How to get people sign up. Yeah.

But they've still got the guy whose idea it was. Yeah. What the idea was exactly, you know, a secret society. Yeah. And keep a bit of hush-hush, which is exactly what they didn't do. So the Illuminati's decline began with indisting. discretions by its members in Bavaria, particularly in Munich. Despite efforts to maintain secrecy, members boasted about their power and criticise the monarchy,

making the order's existence and its membership public knowledge. So they just weren't particularly good at keeping their secret society secret. It's like one of the key bits of a secret society. It is pretty important. Because apart from that bit, I'm not really sure what they're doing. I'm not sure either. I'm imagining it like cigar clubs or like, you know, I think they're just sitting around a lot. God, if only people knew where we were right now,

But they don't, because it's a secret. Secret. I just have to keep telling my wife, I'm going to the shops. Yeah, and I never come back with milk. Oh, forgot again. Oh, silly me. The presence of Illuminati in key civic and state positions led to public concern. Allegations arose that legal outcomes were influenced by one's standing with the Illuminati,

and the group was blamed for anti-religious publications. Some criticisms were driven by jealousy, but it also became clear the Illuminati members favoured each other in government and academic appointments, particularly in replacing Jesuit officials with their own members. By now, what were mere intra-Masonic disputes had turned into complaints against the Illuminati to the Duke of Bavaria, Duke Carl Theodore. So the Duke issued an official order

prohibiting all secret associations and societies that weren't expressly authorized by the government. The Illuminati, they suspended their work. Only government endorsed secret societies, which we were publicly acknowledged. You can't just make up your own. You will know if your secret society is publicly. acknowledged.

So the Illuminati, they suspend their work, but they also sent a petition to the sovereign claiming they had been the victims of a misunderstanding. They're like, no, not all secret societies are bad. So then Duke Carl Theodore responded with a new order in which he specified that the prohibition specifically concerned freemasonry and the order of the Illuminati. So they're like, not us though, right, Duke? And he's like, okay, I'll write it out properly. Yes, fucking you.

It's pretty funny. The worst for the Illuminati came in October of 1786. The Bavarian police finally raided the house of Zwack in Munich. Zwick luckily had been warned in time and he had left. However, he hadn't had time to hide or destroy an extensive documentation on the Illuminati from which the police learned who founded and directed them, a subject on which the authorities had until then fairly vague information. Oh, wow.

Now, like, we're not really sure who's running this thing. And then they've got all this documentation saying, it's Adam. Oh, great. Is his address? So they seized several letters from Weishap to Zwack and an incomplete but extensive collection of notebooks and instructions from the order. Weishapt lost his position at the University of Inglestad and fled Bavaria.

The fall of the Illuminati continued to occupy him and he wrote a series of works on Illuminism, including their persecution, an apology and an improved system. But despite these writings, the group remained disbanded, and Adam Weishapt died in Gotha in Germany in 1830. So they pretty much fell apart in 1786. But 11 years later, two books came out that got tongues wagging again about the Illuminati. So there were two books, Augustine Barrowell's book called Memoirs, Illustrating the History of Jacobinism, and John Robinson's Proof of a Conspiracy.

They were publicized, or they publicized the theory that the Illuminati had survived and represented an ongoing international conspiracy. This included the claim that the Illuminati was behind the French Revolution. Oh. Baroel, a French Jesuit priest, claimed that the philosophers

of Enlightenment, such as Voltaire, along with a coalition of secret societies in the Freemasons and Illuminati, helped spur the anti-Christian anti-monarch movement which led to the French Revolution in 1789. What?

Three years after the Illuminati fell apart. Really? They didn't. four part. They reappeat. Man, if that's true, that's pretty sick. It was all just for show. Yeah.

Oh, no. No, I hate you. Wink in their one eyes. See you in Paris. See you in Paris. We'll take it all down. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome.

This is awesome. Yeah, our plan is awesome. This is why I made this whole secret thing in the first place. I knew it could be sick. I didn't know what it could be. I knew it could be sick. That's so, yeah, it's a perfect way to do it. Like, now everyone knows about us.

How do we become a. secret society again. We fall apart in inverted commas when really, we're only getting stronger. Yeah. By the day, by the second. By the minute, by the moment. By the moment. By the moment. Oh, wow. This felt myself getting more powerful. That's happening. So the Jacobins, the political group were the ones who actually carried out the revolution, but Barrowell, he talked up secret societies. He was like, nah, it was all secret societies who influenced them. His work tied the Enlightenment to the French Revolution in right-wing literature

and laid the blame at the shadowy feet of the Masons and the Illuminati. Both Robinson's and Barwell's books proved to be very popular, spurring reprints and paraphrases by others, and they made their way to the United States. When were those books? 18, no. When were those books? When were those books?

When were those books? 1797 and 1798. Right, okay. And so now that this, his ride, those books are making their way over to the US. So then the Reverend Jedediah Morse. Oh, yeah. Jedediah. Jedediah.

It's fine because you feel like it should be Jabadiah. But it's Jedediah. But it's Jeddadiah. Yeah, I like it. I like it too. He was an Orthodox congressional minister and geographer who was among. Jeez. Leave some of the rest of us, Jedediah.

He was taking it on too much. He was among those who delivered sermons against the Illuminati in the US based on these books. Incredible stuff. Jumping at the shadows. Like literally just this thing that is probably just a nonsense. Yep. Or very clever. And they're like from another continent going, we have someone to fear here.

And it's not anything at all. Yep. And it gets better. Okay. So, Morse had been alerted to the publication in Europe of Robinson's book by a letter from, you know, a different reverend in Edinburgh, and he'd read it shortly after copies arrived by ship. Other anti-Aluminati writers, such as Timothy Dwight, soon followed in their condemnation of the imagined group of conspirators. Leading up to the 1800 US president election, Thomas Jefferson was repeatedly accused, incorrectly, of being a member of the elusive Illuminati. Oh my gosh.

That has continued forever in that nearly every US president at some stage has been accused of being in the middle of them. Several police investigations into these claims led to nothing. Some of his supporters contributed to the confusion by assuring people that actually the Illuminator hit infiltrated his opponents. Not Jefferson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But definitely the others. Yeah, they're awful. But not Jefferson.

That's like a modern witch trial thing. Yeah, in 1800. But it must be so funny for. the president's being like, no, that's one thing I'm not doing that's dodgy. Yeah, yeah. I'm embezzling. Please don't look into stuff because you might find real things, but I'm... But I can guarantee.

Put me on a light attack, but definitely am not in the Illuminati. But please stop looking. Please stop looking. Concerned on down a bit in the early decades of the 1800s, although it's sort of revived from time to time in the 20s and 30s. The anti-Masonic party was the earliest third party. in the United States. It was a single-issue party. It strongly opposed free masonry in the United States. As many masons were prominent businessmen and politicians, the backlash against

the masons was also a form of anti-elitism. But the anti-Masons purported that masons posed a threat to American republicanism by secretly trying to control the government. So, it kind of brings us to modern Illuminati. So several recent and present-day fraternal orders claim to be descendants from the original Bavarian Illuminati and openly use the name Illuminati. Some of these groups use a variation on the name the Illuminati order, but there's no evidence that these present-day groups have any real connection to the historical order. They just use the same name. They have not amassed significant political power or influence, and most of them, rather than

trying to remain secret, promote unsubstantiated links to the Bavarian Illuminati as a means of attracting membership. Sign up at our website. Our secret society. We're like, no, but we're the real ones. There's heaps of fakes out there, but we are actually connected to the Bavarian Illuminati that died down in the late 1700s. That's the only reason we're being public about it is to let you know where the real

ones. If it wasn't for the fake ones being out there telling you. We'd just secretly be quiet doing our thing. Which is what we'll get to again once you've signed up. Yeah. Sign up. Follow us, Illuminati official. Dot org.

So modern Illuminati law has little to do with the original Bavarian group. The myth's resurgence started with 1963's Principia Discordia, written by Kerry Thornley, a parody text for the faith of discordianism, which encouraged civil disobedience,

jokes and hoaxes in the ultimate belief that chaos could inspire social change. And then, a writer for Playboy, Robert Anton Wilson, along with Kerry Thornley, who'd written that book, sought to counter the rising authoritarianism of the time. So this is the 60s, leading into the 60s and 70s, it's sort of that hippie time.

They're very against authoritarianism. Things are getting very erratic, if you know what I mean. Things are getting erratic and erotic. So they purposefully spread disinformation to sow confusion, including fake stories about the Illuminati, which they planted through letters to Playboy magazine because that's where Robert worked. Right, and then Robert could be like,

this is a great letter. Great letter. We should... Well written. This was immediately followed by contradictory letters with the aim of making people question the truth of the information presented to them. They hoped this would encourage people

to scrutinize their realities, but the plan didn't entirely work as they intended. The chaos of the Illuminati myth did indeed travel far and wide, and Robert Anton Wilson and another playboy writer Robert Shea capitalised on this by writing the science fiction trilogy, The Illuminatists. Throughout the story of the Illuminatis, the Illuminati are revealed to be at the centre of every conspiracy in history, like they killed JFK. And the United States has been controlled by them ever since Adam Weishap killed George Washington and secretly took his place. Oh, okay. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Very convincing, uh,

accent work he did. Yeah. It's great actor. They're like, all of a sudden, the president was like, ain't a name band anna, stuff like that. Yeah. George, I didn't understand a word of that. But it was beautiful.

Did what I say mean anything in German day? It was very offensive. We're going to have to bleep that, actually. Sounded like I said, I'd like one banana, but maybe it wasn't. It sounded like, that's what it sounded like to me. Someone who can't speak German. You were saying, I'd like to wine and dine. you because I think you're fine.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, something like that. That is true, though. Quite flattering. Are you available anytime coming on? Nine. So the books became such a surprise cult success that they were made into a stage play in Liverpool and included early works of British actors Bill Nye and Jim Broadbent.

That's cool. So. But they're not published as non-fiction books. They are. This is a novel. This is like a bit of fun. Imagine if this had happened. Yeah, but that's what they want.

want you to think. It's completely absurd, really silly. Sure. But what I'm saying is no one's trying to put it out being like, no, this is real. No, that's not. They're not trying to. People are taking it as such. But they wouldn't, right?

They wouldn't, if it was real, they'd tell you it's fake. Just a bit of fun. True. This is how you get your message out without, you know, letting people know the truth unless they need to know. Which you do not. I don't, because, but I'm not. a priest or a major or anything like that.

I'm not even an apprentice. I don't even belong in a nursery. But that's what he wants us to think. Yeah, he's a man. Damn it. He's a mage. You are getting good. I know.

I'm aging. I am aging. I guess we all are in our ways. But you in a very specific way. Yeah, I've been doing it for a lot longer. Yeah. I didn't know that we own the book, but I have the book at my house. Whoa.

Sorry, which book? The Illuminatis. Did that? What? The truity? You didn't even know and it just was there? It was just there. Did that send chills up your spine like it did mine?

Yeah. And then I remembered about 50% of the books in my house were not purchased by me. Whoa. By the Illuminati. They were just there. But we did. Were you just typing and you looked up and went, hang on a second. I've never seen that book before.

Yeah. It was floating above me. Oh, you should have pulled the book because then the bookcase would have probably revolved. Oh, my God. And then you work at your apartment's much bigger. Oh, that'd be so good, actually. I'd love a bit more space. Yeah.

The secret is, there's a second lounge. So good. All I remember is got a secret second lounge. It's very obviously, it's a ridiculous, absurd, funny book. It's obviously taking the piss. There's talking dolphins. Like, it's very silly. I haven't read all of it.

Everything seems silly until you say it for real. That's true. But from the trilogy onwards, the Illuminati popped up literally everywhere. The Illuminati shows up in countless novels, in movies, They're in Lara Croft Tomb Raider. Wow. Comics. That Nicholas Cage movie series?

They're probably in there. Natural treasure. Bound to be, yep. Yep. In collectible card games such as Steve Jackson's Illuminati New World Order, where the Illuminati where the Illuminati of Bavaria face rival groups such as the Discordians, the gnomes of Zurich, the Bermuda Triangle and aliens. The Order versus the Bermuda Triangle.

They've got an advantage because they can move or the triangle's just there, God. Game, you come to us. You come here. Come here. Come here. You come to me. So yeah, it all kind of started.

It all popped up again in the more modern mindset because of a parody book that was written. Some parody articles that were written to challenge people to like think a bit more about information that they're being shown. And then that didn't work. And so then some writers wrote a book because that would be. be a bit of fun and now people are like, yeah, but, but it's, again, it's, it's a parody. Oh, you want us to critically think. We get it. I get it. Illuminati's real.

Aluminati confirmed. We get it. Yeah. Except that some Christian fundamentalists and right-wing extremist argued that both the Illuminatist trilogy and the card game under a clever pseudo-humorous disguise, in fact revealed the truth about the Illuminati. See, they're on to it. I knew it. They're like, no, no, no, they're Hiding behind it being just a bit of funny, but actually, the truth is in the book. There must be people out there that say, nah, Harry Potter is real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Hogwarts, it's a real place.

Yeah. Okay? Okay. They put it out as a book to try and throw you off the cent. They sold 400 million copies to try and throw you off the send out. They made eight, nine films, had too many films. That's why they're trying to get into the kids' minds. That's what they would have said.

Didn't that? Wasn't their controversy at the time that it was like, spreading witchcraft. A witchcraft, yeah. So, anyway, that's why Dave grew up to be a witch. Secret witch, sorry, Dave. System works, but yes, secret. Yeah, AJ, edit that out.

We cannot be revealing that Dave is a witch. Dave is a witch. A high-class witch. Sorry, Dave's a bitch. Oh. High-class bitch. A high-class bitch. So just sort of finally, while fundamentalist Christians and right-ring extremists

regard the Illuminati as a satanic conspiracy, some liberals turned the myth on its head and presented the Illuminati as a secret but benevolent organization. I've only just learned the difference between benevolent and malevolent. Whoa. I thought they were, I didn't know they were different. Malevolent is like kind and cool and chill and love everybody. And malevolent is me.

Evil. And I'm a perv. Yeah, a perth. Mal and. Ben. Ben. So they're saying, sorry, now I needed to say the context again, I can't remember which one you said they are. So like right wing and extremists, they're like, the Illuminati is satanic.

Right. It's mad. And evil. It's crazy. But then some liberals turned it on its head and like, maybe they're a secret but like pretty chill and cool. Yeah. I actually doing stuff for good. Stuff pretty good if you think about it.

It's one of those. On an average. But like I said before, most presidents and vice presidents of the US have been accused or or confirmed as being in the Illuminati. Do you remember Pizza Gate? Yes. Well, yes. I mean, I've heard of it.

2016. So Comet Pingpong, often just called Comet. It's a pizzeria restaurant, concert venue. Pizzeria. In Washington, D.C., Pizzeria rise a blight. Slash concert venue. Yeah, yeah. I want to go there.

Maybe we could do our show there. What city? D.C. D.C. Let's do it. Okay. In early 2016, several websites. and online forums falsely implicated comet ping pong and various democratic party figures

as part of a supposed child trafficking ring, which was dubbed PizzaGate on internet forums. I vaguely remember it as being like, there's a basement downstairs, the pizza shop is just a front, there's a basement and they're keeping kids down there. And it was debunked by the police, by Snopes.com, by the New York Times, among so many others. Snopes is the one I hold highest there. Yeah. If Snopes debunks it, it's debunked. It's debunked and let's let it go.

Move on. Yeah. But the restaurant's owner and staff were harassed, threatened on social media websites, given negative Yelp reviews. It was insane. The internet just decided that this pizza shop was a front and there were children that needed to be saved. Oh, my God.

Things got worse when in December of 2016, Edgar Madison Welch from Salisbury, North Carolina, arrived with a rifle and fired three shots, thankfully without injuring anybody. He told police that he planned to self-investigate the conspiracy theory and claimed he was there to rescue the children that were kept there by the Illuminati. His self-investigation included firing, wildly firing his shotgun. It sounds like it went off accidentally. Oh, shit.

Oh, sorry. Oh, oh. Sorry, where are the kids? And can I have a small muggerie? Please. And hopefully those bullets didn't hit the kids that I'm pretty sure I hear. So embarrassing I think I

And this is a vague memory But I think I remember people Like pulling up plans of the city And somebody like there's no basement Like like going to that phone People's like nah But that's the problem There's kids in there

The alumni's keeping kids in that pizza shop in DC You can't You can't You can't There's no logic that can be Put forward to beat an argument like that It's a conspiracy Oh the plan say there's no basement

Yeah they would Of course they would Yeah What about the real plans. Yeah, where are the real plans? Maybe if you look at the plans under a blue light, the real plans would be, maybe if we put lemon juice on it. I just watched the show trailer. They wrote them in secret ink. Yeah. So he was sentenced to four years in prison. Despite it being disproven, disproved, many people still believe the conspiracy theory that the venue is a front

for a child trafficking ring. But they're still open as a pizza shop. I'm pretty sure they still are. What's that capacity? A lot of the resources were saying it's like, um, as of like 2020 or something. something. Let me see if it is still. I imagine it would be like in a weird way it would like attract business. Obviously, I don't think it's worth people coming and shooting up your business and doxing you and absolutely not. Ruining your lives. But, you know, a little bit of a bump afterwards, maybe. Very strange. Yeah. For a bit. Yeah. I'm going to have like the basement pizza special or something like that. Just really buy into it a little bit. Yeah. It's people. That's one of the pizza toppings.

People. There are obviously a huge. list of celebrities who people claim a part of the Illuminati, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Katie Perry, Madonna, Donald Trump. QAnon promotes the idea that Donald Trump is battling the Illuminati. From the inside. While competing theories suggest he's a member of the Illuminati. Whoa. Confusing stuff.

Theories were fuelled when Trump appointed George Ments, author of self-help books referencing the Illuminati method to grow rich. Mence's references to the Illuminati were explained as tongue and cheek, but conspiracy theorists saw it as evidence of Trump's ties to the group. I think when the elections happening next month, right, in Blovember. Is that right, the American election? Is it coming up this week, right? So, I think, yeah, I guess we should say, I think if Trump wins, that proves the Illuminati is real.

But if he loses, that proves the Illuminati is real. Don't you reckon? I think that's the only logical explanation, yeah. I think the Illuminati are pulling the strings. Yeah. Either in a benevolent or a malevolent way. Yeah, whichever one. Yeah.

And whichever one you think Trump is. Yeah. If he's ban or male. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't met the man. Seems like a good guy. Remember 50% of our audience are.

50% of our audience are Trumpians and Illuminatians, whether or not, which side that is on. I think 50% are benevolent illuminati. The other 50% benevolent, benevolent. That's right. It's hard to say. Benevolum Malumalae. How did I have a Bugardi? Anyway, I wish all our American listeners well.

Yeah. And hope it all goes good for you. A final word on Adam Weishaupt, which I've said differently every time. To sum it up from Wikipedia.org. Wyshop's character and intentions have been variously assessed. Some took a negative view, such as John Roberson, who regarded Weishab as a human devil and saw his mission as one of malevolent destructiveness. Right. The bad kind.

Bad kind. Others took a more positive view, including Thomas Jefferson, who considered Wyshapped to be an enthusiastic philanthropist who believed in the indefinite perfectibility of man. That's what Jefferson would think. That's why people are accusing him of being part of the Illuminati. He's like, yeah, the Illuminati's fantastic. I love the head of my, I mean, the, ooh.

I love my secretary later, I mean that guy. Yeah. In his defense, Wyshaft wrote, I'll do some more German for you. because Reischofirang, minor, no, I'm just a brief justification of my intentions. It's what it was called. It was in 1787. And author Tony Page comments on his justification of his intentions.

He says, Wyship's plan was to educate Illuminati followers in the highest levels of humanity and morality, basing his teachings on the supremacy of reason, allied with the spirit of the golden rule of not doing to others what one would not wish done to oneself. So that... That sounds like the most confusing way I've ever

I know. So that... Do not undo what you would not undo to undo? Yeah. It's like, Tony, come on, babe. I need like layman's terms here. Tony, baby. So that if the Illuminati alumni

subsequently attained positions of significance and power, such as in fields of education and politics, they could exert a benevolent and uplifting influence upon society at large. So he was sort of trying to not so much recruit people already in power, but recruit people who maybe were going to go on and be very powerful and just enlighten them a little bit on opening their minds a little bit. Aluminate them, Myers. Eluminate them.

His project was utopian and naively optimistic, and he himself was certainly not without flaws of character, but neither he nor his plan was evil or violent in and of themselves. It is of the deplorable and tragic ironies of history that a man who tried to instill virtue, philanthropy, social justice and morality has become one of the great hate figures of 21st century conspiracy thinking. So it was kind of the opposite of what it's become, is what he wanted out of the Illuminati, was just like,

hey guys, let's just freaking, let's just like think about things a little more. Let's like be a little open mind in. And then it's become, there's kids in this basement of this pizza shop. Yeah. The president's in on it. He would find that so bizarre. That would be so. Like, what's a pizza?

Yeah, yeah. is what he'd think. Yeah. What the fuck is a pizza? We don't have that in Bavaria right now. But there you go. That is my report on the Illuminati. I hope that was illuminating in some way.

Yeah, I didn't know any of that. It is so confusing and can I be completely honest, a little dull. But... No, I mean... I was like, oh, this isn't quite as crazy as I thought it was going to be. It's kind of like, oh, it's just some people trying to. to make their own little secret society back when that was the thing. Yeah.

It is funny. I don't know what I don't know what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was more American than it obviously is. Yeah. But Americans have really taken it and run with it. Yeah. And it was two Playboy authors, two Playboy writers who wrote a funny trilogy of books that then made people think about the Illuminati again.

I mean, I love it. It proves that some people do just buy it for the articles. Someone's reading it. That's what I thought do. I was like, wow, they're putting in the letters. They're trying to make political statements through the letters in Playboy. They're thinking, no one's reading this. I respect the hell of it.

Turns out they are. So there you go. I did look up Germany where it was at in the 18th century. Yep. Apparently, it was, yeah, what we were saying. Not yet a fully unified country, but rather a loose confederation of independent states and principalities. Majority of these states are unified into the Holy Roman Empire.

With the state of pressure as the most powerful state throughout the century, there were numerous battles and wars. Yeah. I think Austria got pushed out at some point. Just in case anyone was going, I really need confirmation on that. I must find out. This is episode 471. Can you believe it?

Does that bring us to everyone's favorite section on the show, Jess? It does. I just want to say, we've been put on any Illuminati lists. We love you. Yes. We're pro. Just leave me alone. Yeah, we don't want to be...

I want to... Don't snipe us out or something. No. But don't try and recruit us. either like I'm just not interested. I would say, look, I'll never think of you again after this. Don't worry. And I will forget all of this afternoon.

You can trust that we'll go from our brains. Don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah. Well, you definitely don't need to, um, uh, eliminate us. Eliminatey. In a, in a malevolent kind of way. No. He could beneminently.

I would be open to be minimally eliminated. Is it? Am I remembering there's a band called like, Illuminati Pizza Party? or something that got played on Triple J. A bit? No, I'm making that up. No, I think there might have been something. I mean, who knows? Dave might have even booked up.

Oh, my God, could he have? Well, anyway, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show where we, thanks some of our fantastic patrons. This is our sort of very public secret society. Yeah. Yeah, if you're on the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above after signing up at patreon.com slash do you go on pod, patreon.com slash zugoan pod, you get to give us a fact, a quota, a question. That's the first section of the show. And actually, when I say this show, I mean this second half of the show. And Jess, I think there's actually a jingle that goes along with this bit.

Fact quote or question. And I think it goes a little something like this. Yeah, like that. And he always remembers the ding. She always remembers the sing. And I'll read it. you know, one, two, three, four, this week, four by the looks of it, facts, quotes and questions, or brags or suggestions, or really whatever they're like. The first one comes from Adam Tripsinski, aka Move of Shaker and producer. And Adam is offering a suggestion writing, hey guys, quick follow-up from my last few, I did get a trampoline for the triptych club. Yes. But unfortunately, it's one of those tiny single person ones. But hey, better than nothing. I also wanted to start a petition to get me on an episode of who knew it. Some pros and cons of having me on cons. I'm

not a comedian. I don't have podcast equipment. I don't live in Australia. I'm awkward on camera and microphone. I'm awkward around people. I'm around until I know them for a couple of months. Pros. I knew the answer to a question. Everyone got wrong that one time. I hope you strongly consider this. Thanks. Honestly, getting the questions right isn't. That's not necessarily something that I'm looking for on the show. It's not a prereck. You don't use to send a little quiz to prospective guests and say, hey, see how you go with this, 80% or above, you're in.

But, you know, honestly, um, yeah. I had a complete mental breakdown on a recent episode in a fun way. It was like fun and hot. Yeah, yeah. So I'm just saying, like, you don't have to be good at anything. No, you are. I thought that was really fun once I realized that it was fun. Because at one point I'm like, do we, should we be stopping?

She okay, but it's just that my brain wasn't working. But it was, yeah, once I knew that you were having fun in a weird way, I started to really have fun with it. I was on that one too. There's been a lot of great feedback about the other. People loved it. Yes, I know there may even be a second one with you two that came from cheerful-feeliefel would probably be coming out around now as well with Zach and Mish.

Very fun. So fun. All right. Thank you so much, Adam, Trippinsky or Triprinsky. I should have just got the first. one, I don't think it was right, but it was confident. Yeah, and that's, that's something, isn't it? Yeah. Next one comes from McCrae McCray, okay, humbled parent with a quote, no mom, Matt Stewart is a comedian. What in what context does that need to be said? My teen said this

to me after I cracked a lame joke and proclaimed, I'm a comedian. Brace yourself, Dave, as soon as they can string a few words together, the sad. I think we've been preparing you for many years now to cop some sass. I'm ready. I think you'll thank us. That is fun. Hopefully with expensive gifts. I'm seeing Michaela's kid sees me as the standard for comedian.

That's nice. As it should be. I see you as a standard of comedian. Michaela's a humbled parent. I'm a humbled podcaster right now and comedian. Yeah. Which do you put first? I'd like to put comedian first.

Wow. I would like to. Whoa. Brutal. But as Will Anderson said to us sometime recently, he's like, nah, people think of you as podcasters. Wow. Didn't he?

I don't know. I don't listen to a word that man says. He said it directly to you. I just get lost in his eyes. Because when he was on out, who knew it? And I think you said, I do other things. And he's like, Jess, this is what people know you for. I don't do other things.

You do the shopping? I do the shopping. For like fun things for me, not for like the household. Shoes and. such. I love to buy those. Which is probably what you'll be doing with Prince Charles while Dave and I are doing stand up in London. Yeah, I'll go shopping. Go shopping with Chuckie. Yeah.

Chaz. What do you call him? Charlie. Charlie. Beautiful. Yeah. He is beautiful. Thank you so much, Michael. The next one comes from Paul Meller, uh, aka definitely not a comedian, possibly a half decent engineer. Okay. But I think he's given us that stipulation because he's offering a joke.

Oh, yes. Oh my God, I heard a great joke recently. Let's hear polls and then I'll tell you all right. And then we'll compare. Okay, quick joke for you inspired by the Touching the Void episode. And he remembered this while listening anyway. Where are the Andes on the ends of the armies? Oh, that's good stuff. And he's got an instruction there. Matt, wave your hands now. Yeah. The Andes. Andes, like hands.

No, I got it. No, I was saying as I got it. Oh, I see. Because I read it without thinking about it at all. I just did exactly what the script said. You can't read and think. No. The Andes.

Andes. And that's like an English. That works much better if it's an English accent. Let me try again. Where are the Andes? Right on the end of the armies. There we go. That's better.

Because in our accent, it doesn't quite work because we speak perfectly. Yes. We speak the Queen's English. That's right. But that's a good joke. I like that joke. Paul. That's a bit of fun.

He says, I'll stick to the engineering. You do the comedy. Cheers, Paul. Oh, well, that opens you up nice. Do you want to hear my joke? Yeah. This was told to me by one of my friend's dads, so you know it's going to be good. Oh, yeah.

Said what was Elvis's favorite months of the year? I don't know. February, March. That's great. So she just really went into the, oh. You have to, otherwise it doesn't make any sense. If I was to say February and March, he'd be like that doesn't make any sense. So that's where, see, Paul, if you.

pay attention, delivery is very important in comedy. Next time you're so on in, Paul, write a note saying, get Jess to read this bit. Do you want to try the Andy's one? No, I don't. Okay. It's beneath me. February of March. Do you get it, Matt?

Yeah, because it says, thank you very much. Yeah, that's right. Or at least people impersonating. Yes. So the question is, what's his favourite month? Months. Months of the year. Did you see any, when you're in Vegas, any Elvis?

No. Celebrants? No. Is that big over there? Very big, yeah, yeah, but I did not see any. But I didn't spend that, I didn't go to other chapels. Right. I went to one.

Yeah. You didn't, oh, you didn't do a chapel crawl? I didn't do a chapel crawl, unfortunately. Our last one comes from Patrick J. Early. Insert title here with a fact writing, hello. The Australian phrase, no wuckers is a shortened version of no wuck and furries. which is itself a spoonerism of no fucking worries. Hiding a swear word like this can be known as a fig leaf swear.

After my partner and I learned this, we brainstormed a few other spoonerism fig leaf swears to hide them. Here are a few of our favourites. Cupid stunt. Suck me fired ways. Oh, that's good. Hucking fell. Can you think of any other common sweary phrases that you can spoonerize in a fun way?

I love that. I know, like, didn't... Duck me fed. Duck me fed. I think Metallica had a, like, a bootleg album called Cunning Stunts. Mm-hmm. Is that right? But either way, that's one.

That's good. I like that. Because when it works both ways, it's, like, even better. You know, like Cupid stunt. Yeah. Like, if I just had like, she's of pit. But that doesn't... It's not a real phrase.

Yeah. But it is fun. It's still fun. It's enjoyable. Also, my last fact quote of question had a question for Jess, who was away at the time, it was read. Congrats on the marriage, by the way. I don't remember exactly what I wrote, but it was along the lines of, yeah, if you've gotten back on the bike since getting hit by a car and what that process was like for you and how long it took you to be able to do that, maybe Matt can find the original one for better wording. I could.

I could. I guess. I guess it's here. I guess we've got the gist, though. It could find out, I suppose. But then it turns out his question is actually like, what's your favorite color? I did get back on the bike. I can't remember how long it took.

Took a while because I took three, four months to heal. Then I got back on the bike and that was pretty okay. And then my bike got stolen. And I then took that as a sign from the universe that I should not have a bike. So I don't have a bike anymore. I have a helmet. Which is there. Which always were?

which you should wear, everybody should wear a helmet. Especially around the US, seeing a lot of people riding bikes on roads with no helmet, and I know maybe it's not the same, we have quite strict laws here. They didn't motorcycles, don't they without helmets? That's honestly insane.

Well, it's a free country. It is a free country. We live in an antistate. But you're riding around New York City without a helmet. Put a fucking helmet on. It's insane. You'll die. They, apparently,

there was some study. about one of the, you know, the Scandinavian countries or wherever, and they don't enforce it, and that's led to cycling become more popular and safer, and they have a lot more free roads and stuff. Interesting. Yeah. So the helmet's really a deterrent for people. I think apparently it sort of like subconsciously makes it look more dangerous. Wow. But they also have a better culture of like cars respecting cyclists and stuff like that, which we do not have here. We do not have here. Hence, one hit me. Yeah, yeah. They do. And yeah, sometimes they don't on purpose here.

It's pretty messed up stuff. But yeah, I didn't have a bike anymore because it got stolen and I was like, I got hit by a car and then it got stopped. There's a second bike I had stolen too. I was like, I'm just not meant to have a bike. So that's a pretty boring answer to your question, Patrick. But thank you for, thanks for asking. And thanks for answering.

And be careful on the roads, please. For the love of God. Watch out for Jess if she ever gets another bike. Oh, God. I just went to the, I went to, I've been seeing a new osteo and she was like, I cannot figure out why the whole right side of your body locks up. It's crazy. Every time I see her, she's like, the whole right side's all locked.

I'm like, yeah, that's weird. Because I forgot that I got hit by a car. And so then I went back to her a few weeks later. I was like, do you think it could be because I got hit on the right side by a car a year ago? And she was like, yes. So, you know, even minor accidents. So it locks up. It's all like really, all the muscles are really tense.

And it won't release. No. Because it's still like the body can. remember, even if your mind forgets. That's it. Is that true? Yeah. Your body is an elephant. Yes. How dare you? Your mind is a goldfish. Thank you so much for our fact quotes or questions this week. The next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other fantastic supporters. Just you normally come up with a game based on the topic at hand. Maybe we could come up with their secret society. Oh, great.

I'm going to see if there's a secret society name generator. Gotta be. Dave, then maybe you and I can do this. the honours on the names? Absolutely. I'll do the places. You do the names. How about that? What's the fresh take?

Born to do this. Fresh take on an old classic. Jesse, you ready to go? Yep. All right. First up, I'd love to thank from Manchester in Great Britain. Sarah M. I've found an insane fantasy name generator and it has, okay, maybe company names could work.

So we'll maybe even meet Sarah. soon because we're going to be in Manchester soon, aren't we? No, sorry, and Manchester on November 10th. But that is sold out, I believe. At the time of recording, I believe there are 10 tickets left. So try your luck, do go on pod.com for all our tickets. But a bunch of the shows are sold out, but that one's very, very close. Sunday, I have one, the trogg and bucket.

Looking forward to it. Yes, we went there. A year or so back, Dave. It's an awesome, many. Great comedy club. So, yeah, Sarah M from Manchester. The Society of the Wandering Sisterhood. Oh, yeah.

That's very good. That's good. That's very good. And that's a company name generator. No, that's, that one is order names. These are orders. Oh, because I was going to say, I'd buy shares in that company for sure. 100%.

Thank you much, Sarah. And from Munich, very appropriately in Bavaria, I believe, in Deutscheland. It's Christian Weston. The seeds. Oh. I wouldn't mess with them. No. That's badass.

Yeah. Thank you so much, Christian. from Glasgow in Scotland. I'd like to thank Kirsty Early. The Society of the Radiant Fan. I really like that. From address I know, can only assume from deep within the fortress of the Knowles.

Oh, Shannon Knowles? Shannon Knowles. I would like to thank Hamish Rowlings or Hamish Rowlings. The Order of the Fiery Smile. Whoa. That's scary as shit. That's awesome. Yeah, there's like a smile.

Amali emoji with like flames to rise? Yeah. From Liverpool in Great Britain. It's Charlie Ralston. This is what I'm part of. The Order of the Generous Daughters. Ironic name. Hoi!

I'm very generous in giving Dad shit all the time. I'm giving him heaps of it. Yeah. Try and stop me. From Montrose in Tasmania. Shout out to Rebecca Loring. The Society of... the wicked eagle.

Oh, that's pretty good. Rebecca had a question and a reason who knew it. I love the name Montrose, Tasmania. I'm picturing a little corner of paradise. Yeah, I'm very green to me. Yep. From Huntington in Great Britain. It's Henry Whitaker.

The Order of the Royal Wrath. Whoa. That's pretty cool. From Stockport, also in Great Britain. Shout out to Josh Lyon. The Union. of the barren moon. That's sick.

That's pretty cool. That's awesome because, yeah, that's a different moon to our moon, which is very fertile. Very fertile moon. Very fertile moon. Yeah, it's got to be very careful. It's a real fertile my friend said the other day that made me laugh so hard. Fertile mertile. And finally from Arau in Switzerland, which is country code.

C.8 and a big ch two. Samira. Okay. The Order of the Effervescent Strangers. Oh. How good's that? Really good. I love it.

There's generators for everything. I wonder if we'll see Samira. I think maybe these people all signed up around the time that we announced the pre-sale or the patron pre-sale. Because that's no coincidence. They're nearly all from Great Britain or Europe. I wonder if we'll see Samira at the Berlin show. Oh, that would be so awesome. Thank you so much to Samira, Josh, Henry, Rebecca, Charlie, Hamish, Kersi, Christian and Sarah.

I guess Christian also being a German might be coming down. That'd be sick. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into our most secret of society is the Triptitch Club. David, he's really good explaining this. This is our Clubhouse slash Hall of Fame where we induct people that have been supporting the show on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years, A couple of years back we already gave them a shout out. But to enshrine them forever, we'll put their name up on the wall. We'll open them into the club.

And once you're in, you can never leave, but why would you want to? Because we've got bands, food. We've got massages. There's a small aquarium. It's like your tables. Yes. Yes. And they just got turtles in there.

Yeah. We've got Moudang is in there. The world has moved on, but we haven't. We got Mood Dang. Big deal a month or so ago. Ask you why for that. I don't know what that is. All right, I'll put that on a list of things

If you make a Moodang reference when you get home tonight, she'll think that's very cool and impressive of you. Or she would have thought that if you said it a month ago. It's that little hippo. I did like that little thing. His name is Moodang? Yep. And then what's our penguin?

Our sort of pesto. Who I saw a couple months ago. I think before all the hullabal. Yeah. I wouldn't be going now. Let me tell you. Yeah, it was cute. I could tell you that.

Big and cute. There was no line at the time. I don't believe it's wild. It's crazy. All right. So I've got seven inductees this time. The way it works is I read out the name. I'm on the dog at the list.

Dave's on the stage. He's hyping you up. Jess is hopping up Dave. But Jess is also behind the bar. And you normally come up with a drink, a cocktail? Yeah, we've got beer. Yep, Illuminati beers. It's German.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've also got Snitzel, Bratwurst, pretzels. Sourcrow. Oh, my God. I like most of those. It's going to be bloody... Half chickens?

You got half chicken or got some sausage. You got pork knuckle? Yep. Oh my God. So, goulash. Oh, my gosh. We've got it all, baby. Apple straddle?

Yep. Fantastic. And Dave, you booked a band? You're never going to believe it. What? I'm trying to get this L.A. indie rock band for several months now. And they've finally said yes to this exact date.

Please get ready to welcome a. Illuminati Hotties! Yes! You got the hotties? Yeah. Huge. Well done. It's very exciting that we could get the Illuminati Hotties.

Oh, very exciting. And yeah, that thing I was singing of before, that's not a real thing, Illuminati Pajama Party or something like that. No, that did not seem to come up from me. But I mean, why would it have all those months ago? All right. So here we go, Dave. You ready to welcome some people in with your weak word play?

Oh my goodness. Unbelievable. The disrespect. I'm actually not quite really. I just got to welcome. You don't need... You don't need... Okay, here we go.

From Long Beach, California, it's Brian Dennis Flores. Almost too much to work with there. Been a long time, been a long beach, been a long Brian. Oh, I'm crying without Brian. There it is. Yeah, okay, that's good enough. Woo! I love Brian, hey, lion.

From Roseville. Stop trying. It's Dave. from Roseville in California. Please and thank you and welcome Callie and Kelly Zacherson. Kelly, get in my belly. I'm doing impressions now. I'm in Helly with that, Kelly.

It would be a Zacharylidge to not let you in. Yes. That's better. From Oklahoma City in the US, it's Adriana Gray. Well, this night was going to be Gray G-R-E-Y until Adrian A-G-G-R-A-Y. until Adriana G-R-A-Y came along. Yes. That's how they spelled in America the same both ways,

so that will be confusing for them. From London. Learn how to spell, everyone. From London in Great Britain. Please and thank you. Alfie Hanks. More like Alfie, thanks. Thanks, Alfie.

From Brisbane in Queensland, Australia. We actually pronounce it Brisbane. Brisbane, I don't know. Brisbane. That'd be confusing from people ever said. Brisbane. Brisbane. Please thank you.

Leo McDonagall. Leo is, set me freeo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With your presence. Yes. And finally from, and not finally,

and penultimately from Rochester in New York, Andy Swabs. Oh my God, Swibsy! Sviby, baby. Get in my tribesy. Yes. You're part of the crew. You are my tribesy.

Yeah. And finally from Sacramento. Go Kings if they, in fact, do still exist as a team. In California, please and thank you and welcome. Morgan. I was feeling Porgant. And now I'm feeling rich when I welcome Morgan. He is so good. Good Morgan to you. He is so good.

Good Morgan to you, Morgan, Andy, Leo, Alfie, Adriana Kelly and Brian Dennis. It's hard to know if it's a Brian Dennis or if it's a Dennis Flores. You know what I mean? Totally. Because there's no hyphen. I 100% are you mean. You get it. You get it. Now get ready to welcome Illuminati hotties. That brings to the end of the episode.

Does anything else we need to tell people, best, best? I went from Bob and mixed it with Jess. I came to Bess. I like that. Okay, Bess. No, I thought you said best. Oh, best. That I like.

Okay. I do not like Bess. What do we need to tell you? Look, four more big topics. Quote for Block. We've got a couple of secrets. Secret of things up our sleeve. Maybe a guest or two.

Oh, my goodness. Absolutely. La, la. Enormous. So, stick around. to hear the rest of Block 24. Stick around for the next three weeks.

For the next three weeks. Continue to stick around. You can suggest the topic as well that we can get back to after Block. And anybody can do that. The link is in our show notes. It's on our website as well, which is Do Go On Pod.

And you can find us on social media at Do Go On Pod or do Go on Podcast on TikTok. Dave, build this baby home. We'll be back with another fantastic episode. We're hitting into the top four everyone. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening.

Until next week, it's goodbye. Later. Bye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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