Do Go On - 474 - Anastasia Romanov and her Many Imposters
Episode Date: November 20, 2024On the second most voted for topic of Block 2024, we talk about Anastasia Romanov (daughter of Tsar Nicholas II) and her Many Imposters!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report about the murders b...egins at approximately 07:40 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Duchess_Anastasia_Nikolaevna_of_Russiahttps://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2016/05/110617/anna-anderson-anastasia-romanov-impostorhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputinhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_the_Romanov_family Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you.
And we should also say this is 2026.
Jess, what year is it?
2026.
Thank God you're here.
Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the
Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun.
We'd love to see you there.
Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.
If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto
for shows.
That's going to be so much fun.
Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online.
And I'm here too.
And welcome to another episode of Doogone.
My name is Dave Warnocky and as always,
I'm here with Jess Puck and Matt Stewart.
Yes.
Hell yeah.
Dave, so pumped to be here.
Cheerful, earful festival.
That's right.
We're live at Cheerful Earful Earful from Stupid Old Studios.
And it is also Blockbuster.
Oh, Blupper.
Slash Blovember by the time this one comes out.
Yes.
Wow.
Huge.
Yes, of course, if people don't know,
the whole idea of Blocktober is the biggest, the best and the brightest topics.
Presented by the biggest, the best and the brightest podcasters.
Biggest, best, brightest.
Yeah, I'll take that.
Dave's on was ironic again.
But anyway, yeah, that's it, right?
That's what we do.
And we're into Blow Vemba now.
We've annexed Blovemba from...
off is just October.
Now we're doing two months.
That's how big block has become.
It's too big.
It's almost too big.
So what is this the fourth most popular or third most popular topic?
I thought we're at number two.
I think we might be.
Holy shit.
Oh my gosh.
Let me quick do a little check here.
And then we'll edit this later so it sounds like we all definitely are good enough.
While Dave's looking at it, you can ask the question about if people who here has heard
the podcast.
Okay.
Yeah.
Who here has heard this podcast before?
What?
Wow.
I have.
Those are good numbers.
Anybody been dragged here by a friend or loved one?
Welcome.
Thanks for coming.
Yeah.
I'm frightened.
What's happening?
And you should be.
We are the bad boys of podcasting and we're going to fuck you up.
A mugger tea
You know that straight whiskey in there, no
Yeah, yeah
That's better for my throat
If this is your first ever episode
I can't believe it
You are here in time for Blockbuster Tober
Slash Blumbermber's second most votable topic of the year
This is number two
Number two
Number two
And we only have an hour
So we're going to fit a really, really big topic
It's going to be a lot of
And then, you know, just a quick, abridged.
Anyway, we'll get to it.
Yeah, great.
You'll see.
Everything will be fine.
It is my turn.
I love that we're on swivel chairs too, so I can do a bit of this.
Yeah, hello.
David, hello.
And I can do a bit of this.
Goodbye.
Matthew, you're looking well.
And you too.
Did you know, these are the podcast chairs?
What?
The studio chairs.
That's why they feel so comfortable.
Yeah, we demand them because we feel natural in these chairs.
We take them everywhere we go.
when we're in Europe next month.
Yeah.
Carry on only.
I won't sit on anything else.
Yeah.
We didn't even pay for seats on the plane.
We said,
we'll B.Y.O.
Thank you.
Okay.
So my question,
to get us on to the topic
for my friend at the back
who has no idea what's going on,
we start with a question.
My question is,
this can be for the audience as well.
Which animated 1997 film
has this star-studded cast?
Anastasia.
Yep.
Well, you are like a walking, talking,
IMPD over there.
That was incredible.
Where were you when you first saw the film?
Well, my young sister got it on,
I think it was on VHS.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe DVD, maybe from Bali.
I'm not sure.
But it was in the house a long time.
I don't think I've ever seen it.
What?
I have seen the box and the year it came out.
Wow.
Dave told me backstage that he knows who Anastain.
is and knows that it's a movie called Anastasia
but never knew they were about the same person.
And is the trip ditch complete?
Is it also the I'm out of love singer as well?
So the same person?
All the same person.
All the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, I love Anastasia.
The singer, not the movie or the historical figure.
That was the weirdest Anastasia in person.
She's like famously got a deep voice.
And you were, yeah, yeah.
Let's play the song.
Come on.
That's how it's set.
That was an accurate impression.
I know Anastasia.
She's back of the throat.
That's also a good Anastasia, but sometimes she goes,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh.
Can you know?
Is that right?
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I love it.
I was honestly, that was meant to be a joke answer.
Anastasia the movie.
It's crazy that that was right.
It is correct.
Do you want to hear the cast?
or don't hear.
Tell me who's in the movie.
Hank Azaria.
Hank Azaria.
Angela Lansberry.
Whoa.
Kelsey Grammar.
Christopher Lloyd.
I put in Kirsten Dance.
That was a little bit of like a red herring kind of.
She played like young Anastasia.
Oh,
probably has like two lines.
Good red herring.
I would have got it though.
John Cusack and Meg Ryan.
Holy shit.
Star studded.
Great film.
Who made it?
Was it like a dream works or?
It was one of them.
Yeah.
I'll tell you that much.
But it wasn't one of the real ones.
It wasn't one of the real ones.
One's.
Fox.
Fox.
Thank you so much.
I have been growing into my head.
Sorry, is that?
I thought I was getting a little compliment from the front road.
Absolutely not.
I didn't get that at all.
Thank you so much.
What is he talking?
Fox, oh, you're a fox.
That's just so the opposite of the truth.
I was like, this kind.
Okay, so then who is a fox?
Fox material right here.
Okay.
Sorry.
All right.
That's all so confused.
I love it.
So our second most voted for topic.
Yes.
Is it the movie Anastasia?
What's happening?
It's unfortunately not the movie.
It's the real person.
It's the Grand Duchess,
Anastasia Romanov, and her many
impostors.
Ooh.
Well, mostly one.
But there were others.
Anyway, so this is, yeah, I did anybody else, like,
watch that movie quite a lot as a child?
Right.
So, but I knew not a lot about the real person other than Meg Ryan's beautiful portrayal.
Right.
Just gorgeous.
Yeah, lovely stuff, beautiful music.
Do yourself a favour.
Go find that VHS.
All Bali DVD.
Is this normal for cartoons from our childhood to be based on real things?
Surely not.
Seven doors?
I mean, yeah.
Lion King obviously is real.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, shit, okay, there's a few.
But we also had childhoods at very different times.
Yes.
So I can't answer that on behalf of us because I'm incredibly young.
Yeah, you know the Anastasia story from the cartoon.
I know it from my mate, Anastasia.
She filled me in.
We used to get up for coffees.
Anyway, okay, so here we go.
This is the story of Grand Duchess Anastasia,
who was born in 1901,
the fourth daughter of Tsar Nicholas II
and Zarina Alexandra.
Nicholas II was a descendant of the House of Romanovs.
They were the reigning imperial house dating back to 1613.
They'd been around for quite some time.
Fun fact, they achieved prominence
after Anastasia Romanova married Ivan the Terrible,
the first crowned Tsar of VIII.
Russia.
Right.
That was just a name I recognized vaguely.
Yeah.
And thought, somebody will make sense of that.
Is that, do you know why he's terrible?
Is it?
Odour.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Dave, the Terrible.
I'm sitting in my own Pong.
But Roman Over married Ivan the Terrible.
There's a lot of Anastas, a lot of Nicholas's, a lot of Alexander's.
It's very confusing.
Well, there's only one Ivan the Terrible.
terrible, isn't there? So that's, there is something to be said about smelling really bad.
That's what I'm going for.
Anyway, so baby Anastasia comes along and everyone is very, very disappointed.
Another girl, yack.
Oh, I see.
She wasn't a particularly disappointing girl.
She was just a girl in general.
They were like, for fuck, so they had four girls.
And like, fuck, no.
Because they wanted a boy who could be obviously the heir to the throne.
And so her father went for a long walk to compose himself.
Before going to visit his wife of their newborn child for the first time.
He's a long walk muttering to himself.
Fucking girl.
Fuck, that again.
Jesus.
Come on, sperm.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
You're going to be a masculine sperm, you boy.
Come on, boy.
Yeah.
Yeah, something like that.
I don't like that having a chat to his sperm.
Come on.
A writer by the name of Burton Holmes wrote,
Nicholas would part with half his empire in exchange for one imperial boy.
An imperial boy.
That's a measurement.
I'm a metric boy.
Don't feel too bad for them though.
I didn't.
But anyway, they had a boy, Alexi, three years later.
Thank God.
None of these stinking girls.
Disgusting.
Despite their position in Russia and their wealth,
Zah's children were raised as simply as possible.
They slept on hard campcotts without pillows.
They took cold baths in the morning,
and they were expected to tidy their rooms and do needlework
to be sold at various charity events when they were not otherwise occupied.
I think it was like a sweatshop.
What is the point of being a Royalty if you have to have a cold bath?
Fully agree, yeah.
No wonder he smelled so terrible.
He's like, it's warm or nothing.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Anastasia was short, blonde-haired and blue-eyed,
and was a vivacious and energetic child.
A governess to the four Grand Duchesses
said one person commented that the toddler Anastasia
had the greatest personal charm of any child she'd ever seen.
A toddler?
Until 1990.
Dave.
Yeah.
Wow.
I came along and I was charming that hospital room.
Personal charm.
You should have seen Dave's mum arrive at the hospital.
She walked up straight in a bed, fomp, straight out.
It was the coolest shit, those midwarkers.
wives have ever seen.
I didn't walk.
I moonwalked.
Woon walked.
No.
That's pretty good.
That's good.
That was pretty good, yeah.
So she was this very naughty, very funny, chaotic, chaotic, witty, very lovable child.
See how he was really cool and smooth before?
It does feel like a real yin and yang thing going on.
The coolest man in the room and...
Point Dexter over here
God, I've never been cool before
This is awesome
I feel powerful
Yeah, I think
I think you'll get to ruin it any minute
I thought it would go down lower
Turns out it was pretty low
Okay
Hey
Stop flirting with the audience
I'm at this one
Please do go on
A second question for the audience
The 1997 film
Anastasia, Christopher Lloyd voices which character?
Raspute.
Oh.
Wow, previous topic.
Have we done Raspians?
We've done Raspians?
We don't live for 100 episode.
Episode 100 and I'm pretty sure Anastasia, yeah, yeah, yeah, came up at that episode too.
We are predictable.
We are so predictable.
Because we can name two of our songs, we're like with any others and a guy without a beat
up the back yelled out, left outside alone.
Like it was the most.
moment he'd been waiting for his entire long.
It was the coolest thing.
That's so fun.
And Christopher Lloyd, of course, is the doc in Back to the Future.
Another early episode of ours.
That one I remember us doing.
Did not know we'd done Rasputin.
Remember we talked about his magic dick.
What?
And here's the thing.
I've got a little section on him.
Do I need to do it?
Does the dick come up?
In a way.
Did you know, fun fact,
Magic Dick is the name of the harmonica player
from that band that sang Wammer Jammer.
Anybody think that was fun?
Jay Giles Band.
That's my dad who told me that fact.
So, I need to have him here.
Very disappointed in you.
He might have also been the guy left outside alone.
It was a very similar tone.
I do think it was another one of your relatives.
It was.
No, no, no, no.
But that was a different show.
Oh, do you reckon it was that one as well?
Because you remember there was another show
where another one of your family members heckled
but it was very good.
It was like it made the whole show better.
Yes.
Unlike any you.
Anyway.
The person who hasn't heard a show of this before
so this is the most convoluted, dull,
self-referential bullshit I've ever seen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we've been doing this for nearly 10 years.
Every episode we get one of Matt's family members to come in,
yell something out, and then we work with it.
That's what we do.
Improv, baby.
Sorry, Rasput, you can give us a recap.
It's been years.
I was just that as a kid who loved this film so much, I was like, wow, he was real.
I want to know more about, you know what I mean?
Like I, anyway, so Grigory.
You didn't know he was real even though we did an episode on him.
I don't know a lot of things, Deb.
Sorry, please tell us back.
Did you say his name's Grigory?
Yeah.
That's sick.
Grigory.
Grigory.
Like it's Gregory with an I.
Yeah.
That's...
He's Russian.
That's the best thing I've heard.
Since that magic dick thing I said just before.
He was a Russian mystic and faith healer who in the early 1900s gained a reputation in Siberia as a wise spiritual advisor who could help people resolve their spiritual crises and anxieties.
Handy?
Yeah.
We all need one of those.
Despite rumours that Rasputin was having sex with female followers, he made a favourable impression on several local relations.
local religious leaders. One of these religious leaders was a guy called Theophan of Poltava,
a Russian archbishop, who was well connected in St. Petersburg society and later served as
confessor to the imperial family. So he was very impressed with Rasputin. He invited him to stay
in his home. He went on to become one of Rasputin's most important friends in St. Petersburg,
gaining him entry to many of the influential salons where the local aristocracy gathered for
religious discussions. He first, Rasputin first met Nicholas.
The Tsar, big deal, in November of 1905.
Was he on one of his long walks?
He ran into Rasputin to the shows.
He's fucking kids in these fuckers.
No, he had a boy by then. He was happy.
He's on one of these big skips.
I've got a boy.
Life's good when you have a son.
So they met in 1905. A year later, Nicholas and Alexandra became convinced that
Rasputon possessed the miraculous power to heal their only son, Alexi.
who suffered from hemophilia.
A British historian, Harold Shookman,
wrote that Rasputin became an indispensable member
of the royal entourage.
They really trusted him.
This is from Wikipedia.org, it's a Russian website.
I haven't heard of it.
Yeah, no, it's got heaps of stuff about Russia and shit.
It's cool.
It's in English, though, which is awesome.
You guys are the best.
Truly, we say the most dull shit.
And you're like,
And we don't deserve it.
So nice.
You're doing a good work, God.
So good.
She said it's in English.
Have you ever had the thought that our parents got together and just paid off people?
Of course.
To encourage.
You know, no, just go along and, you know, say, yes, well done.
Of course.
It really feels like that's up.
I really think this is the reason my parents can't afford to travel.
You know, like, it's all going here.
Yeah.
She's having a good time.
She's out of our head.
Don't worry about it.
She'd just be here talking at us.
Who needs a holiday when you can just live without jazz?
During the summer of 1912,
Alexi developed a hemorrhage in his thigh and groin
after a jolting carriage ride near the imperial hunting grounds of Spala,
which caused a large hematoma.
I don't understand most of those words.
In severe pain and delirious with fever,
Alexi appeared close to death.
In desperation,
Alexander asked someone to send Rasputin, who was in Siberia,
a telegram asking him to pray for Alexi.
Rasputin wrote back quickly telling the Zarina that God has seen your tears and heard your prayers.
Do not grieve.
The little one will not die.
Do not allow the doctors to bother him too much.
Tell the doctors, just back off.
Take the afternoon off.
Chill.
Anyway, the next morning, Alexi's condition was unchanged,
but Alexandra was encouraged by the message and regained some hope that he would survive.
His bleeding stopped the next day.
Whoa.
Explain that.
Explain that.
Is it because he died?
Problem solved.
He's not in pain, is he?
The doctor comes out, the good news is.
The bleeding has stopped.
Bad news is so much.
Bad news is so Leberblaine again.
I've got to go.
One of the physicians who attended Alexi, Dr. Fedorov,
admitted that the recovery was wholly inexplicable from a medical point of view.
Holy, H-O-L-Y?
No.
Later, that same doctor admitted that Alexandra could not be blamed for seeing Rasputin as a miracle man.
Rasputin would come in, walk up to the patient, look at him, and spit.
No other context given.
The bleeding would stop in no time.
How could the Empress not trust Rasputin after that?
Yeah.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
Anyway, so they, the family, the imperial family,
they believed in Rasputin's healing powers,
and that brought him considerable status and power at court.
But he soon became a controversial figure.
He was accused by his enemies of religious heresy and sexual abuse,
was suspected of exerting undue political influence over the Tsar,
and was even rumoured to be having an affair with the Zarina, Alexandra.
Is that what the queen, the Zark Queen is called the Zarina?
Yeah.
That's sick.
Isn't that cool?
Is that something that everyone knew already?
I've never heard, yep.
I feel like I've never heard that before, but almost definitely in the Rasputin episode.
We probably had this exact moment.
Do you think I should start listening to this podcast?
Yeah.
I've listened to early episodes and I want to strangle myself.
Honestly, we could be replaced by a soundboard with like six buttons.
One of us may go, real.
I didn't realize that.
One's just me going, ha ha ha ha ha.
Because that's, let's be real.
That's my main contribution.
Eventually, a group of nobles decided that Rasputin's influence over Alexandra
threatened the Russian Empire and they conducted a plan to execute.
him. The story goes that Rasputin was offered tea and cakes laced with cyanide and yet he didn't
die. Explain that. Then he asked for wine. Also had cyanide in it. Still didn't die. They're like,
the fuck. He's only getting stronger. Yeah. Then he asked for a shot of cyanide.
Didn't die. And they were like, great. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. We've got heaps of that.
Yeah. They're trying to poison him won't work. So then they shot him.
and he still didn't die.
And they shot him heaps and dumped him in a river.
And he died.
He definitely died.
But that was sort of the story that went.
Modern analysis says most of this is probably not true.
I reckon they just shot him in the head and he was dead.
But there were stories for a very long time that like he was unkillable right up until they killed him.
I mean, most people are.
No, no, no, but he was like extra unkillable.
So not, like I said, not super, super important to this story, but I had to include him,
even though apparently we have a whole fucking episode on it.
And someone would have just heard it as well.
You know, someone would have just, they were like, yep, yep, said that, no, you've said all that.
That joke.
Yep.
You referenced something else from an earlier episode and just said, I don't remember that episode.
I know, it's getting old.
I agree.
The cycle continues.
One day that'll happen with this episode.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
Genuinely, sometimes I get home from work and someone asks what was today's topic and I go,
and even if I did it.
Gone.
Jess is the only one that refers to this as work, but.
Genuinely, it's really, I find it funny.
I'm like, this can't be work.
This is work?
It is a chore.
It's hard work.
I know you're just like, I'm having fun with my friends, but...
Generally.
We're not having fun with our friends.
But Jess has to work with us, and she's like, this is all.
It is work.
Okay, it's a very valid work.
I think she's putting up for that.
That's why.
But A&Z doesn't think so, because they would not approve me for a credit card.
That's true.
They were like, this seems bullshit.
Oh, you're a podcast.
They're okay.
Delay.
In fact, we're closing your bank accounts.
Okay.
Yeah, fair.
Okay, so what happens next is the Russian Revolution.
Again, a pretty big time.
Have we done that?
Fucking probably.
A very, very, very big thing that I will try to summarize.
So, Zain Nicholas II, he had been emperor of Russia since November of 1894.
Prior to the start of World War I, he'd suffered humiliation in the Russo-Japan War of 1904 to 1905,
which combined with domestic economic problems.
And René Russo.
That's how I, because I was like, how do you say this?
And I looked it up on YouTube and the first person said Russo Japan.
And I went like René Russo.
And I don't care if they were wrong.
It's Russo now.
Russo took on Japan.
It was crazy.
It was like a pretty close battle.
Yeah.
It was actually sick.
Yeah.
René was on fire.
Like full rambo to.
Yeah.
It was fucking cool actually.
Is anyone familiar with René Russo?
An actor from the past?
Well, they're from 1904.
But can I just double-check?
Sure.
Zah Nicholas, is he the one who's like cousins to King George and Will Helm?
Yes.
Yeah, right.
This is a crazy...
Isn't that crazy?
Like, Queen Victoria's...
Dave didn't even give me a chance to answer?
Because he's like, she's got no fucking idea.
I thought you'd be like, I don't know, so I thought, we'll pretend that Jess doesn't.
Yes, Jess and I agree, yes.
Because, yeah, you did a whole quiz show about Queen Victoria and they're all her grandkids or something?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, amazing.
Real interesting and fun.
And that's what you come to these shows for.
Anyway, so there'd been the Rousseau-Rousseau-Japan War.
And then there was like a lot of economic problems.
to a wave of unrest and then the Russian Revolution.
It included worker strikes, peasant unrest and military mutinies.
To appease the unrest, the Tsar reluctantly enacted reforms,
such as establishing the state Duma, which is like a democratic parliament,
and the Russian constitution of 1906.
Despite popular participation in the Duma,
the parliament was unable to issue laws of its own
and frequently came into conflict with Nicholas,
who continually undermined its authority
and dissolved the Duma three times.
just to keep people he liked in it.
And every time they'd come up with something, he'd go, no.
He's like, yeah, okay, you want democracy.
Cool, cool, cool, here you go.
Have you a little thing?
You guys can make some decisions.
That's a really cute decision, no.
And I like that.
But some people didn't like that.
Apparently.
Whoops.
They basically set up an SRC council, you know.
So they meet with, were you ever on it?
No.
one year in year nine and we'd go to have a meeting with the principal and we're like,
so the students, we want a deep friar in the canteen.
Our one was a pizza oven in the canteen.
And the Alf, the, I think it was his name.
Alf, the principal was like.
Your principal was just called Alf?
Is he a puppet?
I think that's right.
It was a long time ago, I've got to tell you.
Elf.
He loved eating cats.
But he, um, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,
We'd just, he'd pretend like, yeah, you know, oh, yeah, interesting.
Yeah, I'll put it to the board and we'll talk about it.
But obviously, never, you know, he's like riding down.
Yep, yep, yep, blah, blah.
Because it's the same thing every time.
He must, like, ahead of that meeting, have bets going with the other teachers.
Like, what do you reckon it'll be?
Pizza oven or deep fried?
Every time.
Because as a kid, you're like, this is how we really affect change.
Yeah.
You walk in there, you're like, we want school to start at 11 a.m. every day.
And only have two periods and then we all get to go home.
And a water slide in the canterbury.
And then Elf's like, yeah.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
I'll write that down.
Yeah, Brother Alf.
I'm pretty sure it is.
Brother Ralph.
I'm pretty sure.
Hey, guys, I'm cool.
Call me Brother Elf.
Yeah, come on.
Hit me.
Wax with me, man.
What do you want?
DeFri?
Yeah.
Chicker rolls.
They're cool.
I'm brother Elf.
I'm a cool principal.
So he's like that too.
An entire government.
But probably a little less cool.
Yeah.
Because he's quite a conservative leader.
Leaver.
He had a very sort of strict authoritarian system.
He saw himself as a saintly and infallible father to his people,
which I think is a cool way to view yourself.
An infallible father.
I'm like your cool dad.
I'm your brother.
Sitting backwards on a chair.
Nicholas, what the hell are you talking about?
Don't call me Nicholas.
Call me father.
In the lead-up to World War I, rapid industrialization in the cities led to overcrowding and poor working conditions in the factories.
Peasants in the rural areas were also struggling to survive on small plots of land.
Thankfully, the SAR thought joining World War I would solve a few of his problems.
He's like, people are pretty upset and there's a lot of unrest.
Let's get in on this war.
Distractive.
They'll love it.
He thought it would restore their prestige after the embarrassing Russo-Japan War
that didn't go very well for them.
He's like, that'll be cool.
We'll look like we're pretty badass.
He also believed it would mitigate the social unrest
over the persistent issues of poverty,
inequality and inhumane working conditions.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not really sure how that would work.
Get him in the trenches.
Yeah, that's right.
Then you'll like these fucking conditions.
Poverty feels awesome now.
You do know we've done a two-part episode about World War I.
I was definitely listening.
Instead of restoring Russia's political and military standing, World War I,
led to the slaughter of Russian troops and military defeats.
It did not go super well.
So the Tsar made the situation worse by taking personal control of the Imperial Russian army in 1915,
which he did not have the skills of qualifications to do.
He was like, I'll handle this.
So he took charge, which is always good.
By the end of 1915, there were.
many signs that the economy was breaking down under the heightened strain of wartime demand.
The main problems were strikes, crime, food shortages, rising prices.
Working class women in St. Petersburg reportedly spent about 40 hours a week in food lines.
They're doing a full-time job just trying to get food.
It's fucked.
I want to be a good restaurant.
Sorry, what's the way?
It's about 40 hours.
Perfect.
Yeah, yeah.
No, we'll join the line.
Thank you.
their yoki is to die for
what was the first thing I thought of was yokey
that is fancy
and Russian
I was trying to think of
I was trying to think of like a fancy food person
and the first time I'm like
I was going to say Matt Preston
recommended it
he wears cravats
there's nothing fancier
that was actually a very good instinct you had
thank you so much
he's a fancy guy
he's a fancy man
Anyway, so there were huge protests.
There was a big demonstration that coincided with International Women's Day
as people were already out sort of like, you know, demonstrating for women.
And then it just got added to, so there's just a lot of people out in the streets.
Can I just say, I would have been at that.
It's the kind of thing I'd go to.
A women's day
Yeah
When is international women's day?
Oh, for me every day
day
You clapped that
Have some shame
But even back then
A hundred years ago
There's women marching for their rights
And other people go
Oh that's a good idea
I'll march for my rights
And overtaking their day
But so to quell the riots
The Tsar got the army involved
and there was about 12,000 soldiers ready available,
but very few of them wanted to shoot women.
Allies.
There was just one really weird guy saying, I'll do it.
And somebody else just taking his garment.
I'll do it.
No, that's all right, man, that's okay.
So yeah, good thing it was International Women's Day,
otherwise heaps of people would have been killed,
but they didn't want to shoot women.
I'm just trying to say they didn't love the Tsar.
He was advised by the army chief and deputies to abdicate,
and so he did on March 15th on behalf of himself.
And then taking the advice, he also abdicated on behalf of his son, Alexei.
He nominated his brother, the Grand Duke, Michael Alexandrovich, to succeed him.
But the Grand Duke realized he would have very little support as a ruler.
So he said, I'm good. No, thank you.
Stating he would only take it if there was consensus of democracy.
action. So he's kind of like,
I said, okay. Because like,
he could probably see that people are
plotting to kill his brother and he's like,
that's like, I don't want to be a part of that. That's all right.
There's a sniper spot on him at the time.
I'm like, I'm actually, I'm actually okay.
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm with whatever you guys think.
You don't like, yeah, I don't like you me.
I think whatever you want is probably the best idea.
Shoot women, don't shoot women. I'm with you, whichever way it is.
The aftermath of the February Revolution,
led to the doom of setting up a provisional government.
The government had to contend with the Petrograd Soviet, so the workers' councils.
There was like a system of dual power.
It was a very messy time.
While some political freedoms increased, they continued to rule with an iron fist,
killing hundreds of protesters throughout the summer.
So it wasn't really like a nice resolution.
It was kind of kept going.
While initially bloodless, the Russian Civil War was soon underway from 1918,
between liberal and monarchist forces, loosely organized into the white,
Army and the Bolsheviks Red Army.
So, in early March 1917, I'm glad we chose this one as a live report.
Yeah.
We thought, which ones are going to make good live report?
This is a good one.
I am loving.
There's so much war.
And I've just gotten to the subheading, a death.
It sets death on your screen.
Yeah, I had to break it up into subheadings easier for my brain to organise the information
when I'm writing it, and so now we're up to death.
So that's good.
In March 1917, the provisional government placed Nicholas and his family under house arrest
in the Alexander Palace.
Oh, so sad.
Remember Beck Judd in lockdown?
They're like, let us out.
Let us out of our million-dollar homes.
I've got children in their own wings and it's hard.
It's that kind of vibe.
They're in house arrest but in a fucking palace.
She sounds like Anastasia.
Let me out of my mansion
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
So that was March
In August
They evacuated the Romanovs
To the Ural Mountains
Oh, beautiful spot
Yeah scenic, lovely
Good for urinary tract infections
And that was to protect them
From the rising tide of revolution
The stress and uncertainty
of captivity. When they're a tired rise or you go to the mountains, that makes sense.
It does make sense, yeah.
Stop, stop looking out to them. It makes them uncomfortable.
Just double-checking that everyone got it. It was pretty clever.
Don't want to leave anyone behind. We all getting that one? Pretty clever stuff, that one.
Got a couple of thumbs here, just.
Yeah. Because you were begging for it. They were pity thumbs and you know it.
Yeah, their faces didn't really sell the thumb, to be honest.
Sell the thumb.
So it was obviously a stressful and uncertain time.
I took their toll on the family.
Anastasia apparently wrote to a friend,
Goodbye, don't forget us.
It's a bit grim, isn't it?
Thanks for coming to a live show.
After the Bolsheviks came into power in October of 1917,
the conditions of their imprisonment grew stricter
and talk of putting Nicholas on trial increased.
Again, they were moved to a different place, a stronghold.
They were sort of more isolated to kind of keep them away from people who would have been coming to save them.
Make it harder.
So negotiations for the release of the Romanovs between their Bolshevik captors and their extended family,
many of whom were prominent members of the royal houses of Europe.
Did you know that?
Stalled.
Those accounts stalled.
King George said he would take Nicholas in
and then he welched on the deal.
Oh.
Yeah, brutal.
So, oh, yeah, oh, no, I can't actually.
Nicholas is at the castle door and the doorbell.
He's on the ring cam.
I know you can see me.
I know you're in there.
Oh, hey, mate, no, I'm out.
Oh, I'm in.
Yeah, this is the, I'm just calling it.
I'm remoting in.
Yeah.
This is a phone on the app.
Oh, this is so embarrassing.
I've just gone to the Ural Mountains.
Oh, I was coming to the year.
Boy, you're a care package.
It's embarrassing.
But yeah, your visa has been revoked.
On the night of the 17th of July, the family was awoken and told to get dressed.
They were told they were being moved to a new location to ensure their safety
in anticipation of the violence that might ensue when the White Army reached them.
Once dressed, the family and the small circle of servants who had remained with them
were herded into a small room in the house's sub-basement and told to wait.
Alexandra and Alexi sat in chairs provided by guards at the Empress's request.
That's a fun, important detail to include that the mum was like,
I'm going to need a seat, go get a chair, fuck the others,
I need a seat and one for the boy.
That is exactly what happened at the start of this episode.
Before you all came in, we were going to stand.
But Jess said, she said to Evan, Monroe Smith.
Yeah.
You said.
What did you say?
No, get my tone right.
Evan.
Evan, get over here now.
My boys refuse to stand, Evan.
My boys won't stand.
You get us chairs, Evan.
You get us chairs.
Yeah.
My boys need to sit, Evan.
Yeah.
They need to sit.
You know this.
Don't you, Evan.
Don't you Evan?
That is how I talk to Evan.
That's how she talks to Evan.
And then anytime Evan's leaving a room, what do I say?
You say, I love you, Evan.
Yeah.
And ever, never respond.
That's not true.
He has started to.
Oh.
Because it shuts me up faster.
Yeah, because of much protesting.
Yeah, I go, I love you and he goes, love you too.
And it's the happiest moment of my week every time.
He has never said that to anyone else.
I know.
I know.
It weighs on me.
So they're sitting in chairs in a basement.
Well, two of them are.
Okay, right.
Everywhere else.
I don't know.
Floors good.
after several minutes the guards entered the room who quickly informed the czar and his family that they were to be executed
they got dressed for nothing that is not the news they were hoping for no that's brutal news
sorry guys sorry about that good news is a bad news good news is you won't need those chairs much longer
and here's the thing too and like you know we've only got an hour i'm trying to unpacking a lot in
but there's incredibly detailed resources about,
okay, so this person was shot first
and then they did quite die
so they bayoneted them for a bit.
And then it's...
You'll skip over that though, aren't you?
You probably won't bring that bit up, were you?
I purposely left it out and then told you about it.
And I am sorry for that.
Basically, the Tsar had only time to say,
what?
and turned his family before he was killed by several bullets to the chest.
And then the rest of the family killed quite quickly as well.
According to Edvard Razinsky and Dimitri Volganov,
oh my God, those are good names.
The orders came directly from Lenin.
However, this claim has never been confirmed.
Not John, no.
I thought better of it.
I did think better of it.
Barely.
That's true.
I think that really showed growth from me.
Like, honestly, yeah, my brain is saying it's got a dog shit thought like five every 10 seconds.
Yeah.
And most of them I don't actually say.
Yeah.
And that's what people don't realize.
Yeah.
People like, God, he says a lot of dog shit stuff, but he thinks even more.
Yeah.
Imagine being in there.
Oh, God, yeah.
It's not good.
It's not a good place to.
Either, because I'm a pretty good audience, so I actually do enjoy a lot of it in my head.
Yeah, you are your biggest fan.
Not bad, but probably not good enough for Jess.
Yeah, I'm the real taste maker of the group.
All the thoughts are also, that word means something else.
That word means something else.
So yeah, an entire family was killed.
really violently and aggressively and very sad.
But within a few years...
Was Paul McCartney involved?
Yeah.
Even when John's in charge, they claim it as a Leonard McCartney.
I'm trying to build...
Hang on, I've got to build some, like...
Oh, you want me to shut the fuck up?
Just for like one sentence.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's okay.
And then, you know, let the dogs fly.
I'll do my best.
Within a few years.
years, rumours would swell that perhaps one of the Grand Duchesses got out of there alive.
That's awesome.
It would be so funny if it's not Anastasia.
Well, it's funny you say that.
In February of 1920, a young woman attempted to take her own life in Berlin by jumping off a bridge into the river.
She was rescued by a police sergeant and taken to hospital.
As she was without papers and refused to identify herself, she was admitted as Freudine
Unbekant, Miss Unknown.
Great drag name.
Very good.
She was admitted to a hospital where she remained, like a mental ward where she was,
where she remained for the next two years.
The unknown patient had scars on her head and body and spoke German with an accent
described by medical staff as Russian.
Ooh.
Huh.
Huh.
It's interesting, isn't it?
People speak in multiple languages.
That could only be one person I'm aware of.
Your wife is bilingual.
Yeah, true.
What now?
No, no, you know.
I've just up the threshold slightly higher,
and that one did not pass it.
Okay.
That's good.
This is from Refinery 29.
Meanwhile, European newspapers reported strange rumors out of Russia.
One of the imperial daughters, it was said,
had escaped the basement alive.
It was another Del Dorf.
patient, that's the hospital she was at, Clara Pughhart, Puthert, I'm saying every word wrong
and sorry, who first suspected this aloof woman was the missing Romanov. Upon leaving the
hospital, Puthert sought out high-ranking Russian expats, urging them to come and see the
woman she believed was Grand Duchess Tatiana.
Oh, my God. I didn't see it coming.
that's the second oldest Romanov.
She's like, you got it.
Well, one of them got out, that's Tatiana right there.
Let me tell you.
And people did.
Former Romanov friends and servants,
all of whom were convinced on site alone
that this was one of the daughters of the late Tsar.
They looked at her and went, yeah, that's Tatiana.
That's so funny, on site alone.
I could recognize a lot of people I've worked for on side alone.
Someone you knew for quite a long time.
You reckon you could recognize it?
I reckon I could, yeah, spot him.
What about yesterday when you got here
and someone was sitting on the couch there?
What happened then?
Well, I do have to get up pretty close.
It's dark in my defense.
But Estevan, who's one of the great cameraman here,
I really had to get up close to his face.
Honestly, it was like, oh, hey, mate.
So lucky I knew him.
Because if it was a stranger, I reckon,
and the vibe was right,
I might have been made out with.
But, um,
finally.
Someone just going for it.
I don't know.
I guess.
That's what I do.
Captain Nicholas von Schwab.
Oh.
A former personal guard to the Dowager Empress,
which is Anastasia's grandmother,
showed her old photos of the family,
watching as she went red and increasingly upset,
but refused to speak.
Only later that night,
night did she tell the nurses the gentleman has a photo of my grandmother.
So they're like, this is freaking Tadiana.
That's crazy.
But there were those as well who denied her connection to the Romanovs.
Baroness Sophie, fuck me, what is that name?
That is a wild name.
They doesn't sound German or Russians.
I'm confident you haven't pronounced that right.
Baroness, fuck me, dear.
Do you say the Bucks?
I think, Baroness Sophie, Buxhovedem.
I wasn't far off.
I'm just going to call her Baroness Sophie.
She comes up a couple of times.
Baroness Sophie, a former lady in waiting to the Zarina,
who, upon seeing the mysterious patient,
acknowledged the resemblance but proclaimed her too short for Tadiana.
For the first time, the woman spoke.
And she replied,
I never said I was Tadiana.
Oh, that is awesome.
That's pretty cool.
You've all decided I'm Tadiana.
I'm not.
And remember, Anastasia was short.
I know.
Crazy.
By May of 1922, several people believed the woman to be Anastasia,
even though others pointed out there was very little resemblance.
And this is only a few years after they, you know, were allegedly killed.
So it's not like she, it's not like it was 40 years later
and they're like, I don't know, I mean, I haven't seen it for 40 years
or we only have photos of her as a kid.
Like she was 17 when she was killed.
And this is a couple of years later.
Yeah, 7.8, you kind of look like how you're going to look by then.
Yeah, you're pretty cooked.
Yeah.
You're pretty, you're fully cooked.
So she.
But so people who knew her really well are like, this is definitely Tatiana.
Yeah.
And she said, I'm not.
not Taliana. I didn't say it. I knew it. As I've always suspected, you're Anastasia. And people
like, no, she doesn't look like Anastasia. And they're like, yeah. I think it was just like,
there was just too many kids in the family. And you know when like somebody comes from a big family
and old relatives who only see them a couple of times a year like, oh, which one are you?
Yeah, yeah. It's probably that. I don't, I think I was, by the end, I just accepted that my name was
Tom at family things.
Hey Tom, yep, yep.
I've been calling you Tom for years.
So she began calling herself Anna and using the last name Chikovsky.
Unsure why.
And she was taken out of the asylum and given a room in the Berlin home of Baron Arthur von
Klyst, who'd been a police chief in Russian Poland before the fall of the Tsar.
Others thought that Klyst may have had ulterior motives.
They said if the old condition should ever be restored in Russia,
he hoped for great advancement from having looked after the young woman.
So like if they get back into power, remember the time I'll let you come and stay with me?
That was pretty cool of me.
I would like a position of power, thank you very much.
And she'd be the one to get it, right?
Absolutely.
She is next in line, maybe the only in line.
It's a real King Ralph scenario.
That's the second time recently you've brought up King Ralph.
I look at everything through the Ralph lens.
By 1925, Chuck Lolland, no.
Like, is there a thing called Ralph?
So the problem isn't facing, it's this one.
So if that just goes down.
But is there a thing called Ralph Lauren?
Yes.
And that sort of sounded like Ralph Lens.
Ralph Lorenz.
Yeah, so that's what I was working with.
It was one that shouldn't have made the threshold.
But I did, I thought that throughout loud.
Normally I'd do that in my mind.
I go, no.
No from me.
I've got a panel of three up there.
Some people think I'd talk real slow, but there's a process.
By 1925, Anna Tchaikovsky had developed a tuberculosis infection of her arm,
and she was placed in several hospitals for treatment.
Sick and near death, she was visited by the Serena's groom of the chamber.
I don't know.
Alexei Volkov.
He's the guy who cleans the toilet, right?
Groom of the chamber.
Also by Anastasia's tutor, Pierre Gilead, and his wife, Alexandra Telleva,
who had been Anastasia's nursemaid.
So three people who would have known Anastasia very, very well.
And also the Tsar's sister, Grand Duchess Olga, so her aunt.
So people who, yeah, I reckon would probably know her quite well.
And they all expressed sympathy that she was unwelcome.
well and they didn't make any immediate public declarations,
but eventually they all denied that she was Anastasia.
Is that because she was ahead of them in the line?
Oh, shit.
I think you've got to go down pretty far before you get to the nursemaid.
Yeah, I guess I'm the Zarina now.
I was thinking Olga, you know,
and maybe Olga's got the nursemaid on side.
I fully forgot it was a nursemate.
Duke George of Lichtenberg, a distant relative of the Tsar, gave her a home in a monastery,
and the Zarina's brother, Ernest Louis, Grand Duke of Hess is so many long names.
He hired a private detective because he was like, I'm suss.
So the private detective named Martin Noff investigated the claims that Chikovsky was Anastasia.
So during her stay, he reported that she was actually a poll.
Polish factory worker called Franziska Shankauska.
That got a gasp, do you hear it?
But didn't this family also work in a factory of sorts?
Aren't they needlework and stuff?
It could be.
Like in their castle, yeah.
They would do needlework as a hobby.
That's true.
Same thing.
Shankowski had worked in a munitions factory during World War I
when shortly after her fiancé had been killed at the front,
a grenade fell out of her hand and exploded.
She'd been injured in the head and a foreman was killed in front of her.
She became apathetic and depressed, was declared insane in September of 1916 and spent
time in two different mental asylums.
In early 1920s she was reported missing from her Berlin lodgings and since then had
not been seen or heard from by her family.
Could this be our Anastasia?
They tracked down her brother Felix, who travelled to meet her.
According to one account, initially Felix declared that Chikovsky was his sister,
was his sister Franziska.
I'm doing, I'm doing my best.
He said there were physical differences.
She didn't recognize him.
No, that's not my sister.
But years later, Felix's family said that he knew Chikovsky was his sister,
but he had chosen to leave her to her new life, which was far more comfortable than the alternative.
Ah, she's been looked after.
Yeah, she seems all right.
Yeah.
I think that'd be my brother.
Are you good?
All right.
No, it's not here.
See you later.
Beautiful boy.
As the death of the Tsar had never been proved,
the estate could only be released to relatives 10 years
after the supposed date of his death.
This obviously stirred up a lot of attention
from family members and press
and people seeking a little piece of the fortune themselves.
after a quarrel, possibly over Chikovsky's claim to the estate, but not over a claim to be
Anastasia.
They're like, no, he can't have any of the money.
Tchaikovsky was moved to the Garden City Hotel in New York under the name Mrs. Anderson,
and she would subsequently be known as Anna Anderson.
So her name changed again.
In October of 1928, after the death of the Tsar's mother, the Dowager Empress Marie,
the 12 nearest relations to the Tsar met at Marie's funeral and signed a declaration that denounced
Anderson as an imposter. They were very threatened by her existence because so many people did believe
that she was Anastasia. So from early 1929, Anderson lived with Annie Burr Jennings, a wealthy Park
Avenue spinster, happy to host someone she's supposed to be the daughter of the Tsar. For 18
months, Anderson was the toast of New York City Society. But then a pattern of self-destructive
behavior began that culminated in her throwing tantrums, killing her pet parakeet.
And on one occasion, running around naked on the roof.
That's very royal behaviour.
Very royal.
Wasn't this child like a charismatic toddler though?
It doesn't make sense.
She was a naughty, like, you know, a bit chaotic, funny kid.
So running around naked on a roof does track.
Killing parakeets.
Killing parakeets.
That's naughty.
That is naughty.
Knock it off.
That's cheeky.
That's cheeky, that is.
She was once again taken to an asylum where she stayed for around a year
before being sent back to Germany.
Eventually, a friend of a friend, Jack Manahan,
paid for her to return to the United States.
She entered the country on a six-month visitor's visa,
and shortly before it was due to expire,
Anderson married Manahan, who was 20 years her junior,
in a civil ceremony right before Christmas of 1968.
Jack Managhan enjoyed this marriage of convenience
and described himself as Grand Duke in waiting
or son-in-law to the Tsar.
The couple became well known in Charlotte.
in the Charlottesville area as eccentrics.
Though Jack Mannahan was wealthy,
they lived in squalor with a large number of dogs and cats
and piles of garbage.
In 1979, Anderson was taken to Charlotteville's Martha Jefferson Hospital
with an intestinal obstruction
and a gangrenous tumour and a length of her intestine will remove.
Not nice, but that will come back.
Do we know what?
If they're wealthy, why are they living like that?
They're eccentric.
Oh, that is eccentric.
That is eccentric.
Living amongst rubbish.
Yeah, and heaps of dogs and cats.
But not many parakeets.
Not anymore.
No parakeets.
Although it was a marriage of convenience,
the two seemed to actually like each other.
Both of them, Manahan and Anderson,
were sort of in failing health,
and in November of 83, Anderson was institutionalised,
and an attorney, William Preston,
was appointed as her guardian by the local court.
But a few days later, Manahan kidnapped Anderson from the hospital.
And for three days, they drove around Virginia, just going to convenience stores and getting snacks.
Honestly, sounds pretty fucking good.
It is...
It is so wild to me that this story is still going when convenience stores are around.
Isn't that crazy?
We're in the 80s, the 1980s.
That's wild.
Yeah, it makes no sense.
After they were found, Anderson was taken back to the care facility.
And Anna Anderson passed away from pneumonia in 1984 and Mannahan died in 1990.
But the question remains, who was Anna Anderson?
Was she Anastasia?
No.
Okay, we got an answer.
Great.
In 91, the bodies of Zarniklaus II and Alexandra and three of their daughters were exhumed from a mass grave.
Mitochondrial DNA was used to match maternal relations.
and it matched Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh,
whose maternal grandmother, Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine,
was the sister of Alexandra.
I didn't know that.
Whoa, that makes it kind of a bit incestuous some of those relationships,
doesn't it?
That's weird.
That's, I don't know, that is all.
I had not thought of that.
I really, I hope that they check that out
because I think royals are pretty good with that sort of stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're pretty on top of those things, yeah.
But yeah, crazy.
The bodies of Alexi and the remaining daughter were discovered in 2007,
and again they tested the DNA and confirmed that none of the Tsar's four daughters survived.
All of their remains were found.
A sample of Anderson's tissue, part of her intestine, which was removed in that surgery.
Someone kept that?
Yeah, it was kept in, it was stored at the hospital.
Her DNA was extracted from the sample and compared to that of the Romanolone.
and their relatives, and it did not match.
So she was not related to the Romanovs.
However, the sample matched DNA provided by Carl Maltz,
a grandson of Francisco's sister, Gertrude,
indicating that Carl and Anna Anderson were related
and that Anderson was Francisco.
Francisco's sister.
Francisco Shackauska.
Right.
But the sister of that guy that was like, yeah, that's not her.
Live it a good life.
She was that woman.
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Right.
And is she does that look?
She lived a pretty fun life.
She got into, I mean, she saw the world.
Yeah.
I mean, if you don't focus too much on the details of her home life.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes she lived in castles though.
That's pretty cool.
Sick.
So Anastasia's supposed escape and possible survival was one of the most popular
historical mysteries of the 20th century, resulting in many, many books and films and plays
and references in all sorts of media.
At least 10 women claimed to be her, offering various stories as to how they had survived.
Most were very quickly dismissed, but as we've heard, Anna Anderson was believed by many to be the Grand Duchess.
Since the 1920s, many fictional works have been inspired by Anderson's claim to be Anastasia.
In 1953, Marcel Morrette wrote a play based on a book called Anastasia, which toured Europe and America.
And the play was so successful that in 1956, an English adaptation was made into a film starring Ingrid Bergman.
It's kind of fun.
And then there is the 1997 animated fantasy Anastasia starring Meg Ryan and John Cusack where spoilers,
it turns out she is Anastasia, which is probably why I thought for a while that Anastasia probably was alive,
but no, she was brutally murdered with their whole family.
And that's my report on Anastasia.
Yeah, you have for Jessus.
Really gruesome stuff.
Do you think this says anything about our listeners that the two, so for Block, there are nine
topics we're doing and we picked the two that we thought were the most audience-friendly
and both of them included a family being murdered.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that on us or on the people who voted for these?
But the other seven include two families being murdered.
Yeah.
We wanted to keep it light for you guys.
That's very light.
That's it.
We did it.
Would you suggest watching the...
I've never seen the animated movie?
A bit of fun?
Yes.
Do they gloss over the murder part?
Of course!
Yeah, okay.
Because, yeah.
You know, if it is a Fox film, that means Disney now owned it and like, it could be involved in, like, future space jams and stuff.
Imagine Anastasia could be in the team.
Wow.
Yeah, it is Warner Brothers.
Space Jam is Warner Brothers.
Space Jam is Warner Brothers.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah, Duffy Duck and yep, yep.
So maybe Anastasia could just be on like the Mickey Mouse Club or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Or The Avengers.
Yeah.
Imagine that.
Wait, there is an Anastasia, right, Black Widow?
No.
Natasha.
Her name's Russian, though.
What is it?
Natasha.
Natasha.
Pretty much the same.
Anastasia, Natasha.
Potato, potato.
You get it.
Anyway, Dave, boot at home because we've run overtime.
ever so slightly.
Not as bad as yesterday.
I will say somebody's time management skills.
I was going, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.
Don't worry about it.
Russian Revolution, bad.
Well, that's the end of Do Go On Live,
the Cheeful Earful Podcast Festival.
Can you please give a big round of applause
to Cheerful Earful Earful and Stupid Old Studios.
Everyone involved in this production.
Thank you so, so much.
We're going to go on to everyone's favorite section of the show.
But until then, thank you so much for listening,
and goodbye.
And we're back in the studio.
Oh, we are low energy as well.
That's right.
Oh, we just had a big, crazy life show.
So now we've got the masseuses in.
I'm having a chai.
Do you know what a try is?
I've never had a try.
Okay.
He's having a try of a try.
I've got frayor, the masseuse working my shoulders.
We're all in robes.
I've got enya.
Yes, that enya.
Nya.
She is expensive.
We've got the essential...
And not very good at it.
The essential oils going.
It smells like an Indotis bar in here.
It is the Indotas Bar essential oils.
Yeah.
That's doing a lot of the work of making it smell that way.
Anya refuses to sing.
Can I say this chai is disgusting?
I'm going to go back to an orange juice.
Okay.
But you tried something and we're very proud of you.
Thank you.
First time in a long time.
Trying something new.
a chai as we said to before we started recording.
And then we high fived.
Yeah.
All three of us.
It was a high, yeah, 515.
No, that's not really, you don't, it's not a high 10.
It would be like, it would be 10 for each of us.
So it'd be like a high 30, I guess.
High 30.
You know, because we're both hands for both people.
We're in a triangle.
Yes.
And we're going, pow, all at what.
Should we try that one day?
In a triangle.
In a triangle.
And we said, let's give it a triangle.
Yeah.
And yeah, we're not losing it.
This is the first thing we've recorded today.
It is lunchtime.
Anyway, thank you so much for joining us here.
And everyone's favorite section of the show, geez, we had a lot of fun at the Chief Leaful Podcast Festival.
Yeah.
Great time.
So much fun.
I really enjoyed this story that you told us, Jess, about...
I don't know how it feels.
I'm a laugh out of light.
What's called out here.
Really enjoyed that.
As far as I remember, that's the story you told us about the singer Anastasia.
You know, you joke as far as you remember.
I don't remember it.
I was unwell and we later found out I had glandular fever, which is very retro of me.
Which is why we really regretted doing that three-way Mac.
But it felt right.
And unfortunately, you can't see that video anymore.
It's gone off the internet.
But it happened.
It definitely happened.
Yeah.
It sounded something like this.
I love you.
So sorry about that.
Dave always yells I love you.
I'm trying to talk through it.
Sounds like a turkey.
Stop talking.
I love you.
I love you.
Anyhow.
We all have mono now.
Yes.
So the way this section of the show works is it's basically a bit of time for us to spend.
thanking our great supporters.
And if you want to be one of these supporters,
go to patreon.com slash to go on pod.
There's a bunch of different levels you can sign up on
and they all come with different things.
I mean, the higher you go, you collect it.
Everything below plus, everything below plus, that sort of thing.
Does that make any sense?
I was so confusing, but I do understand what you mean.
But it's everything below plus.
If anybody who didn't understand,
think about it as this, it's everything below plus.
Yeah.
So on
Plus, it's everything by plus.
So say on the arse prod level, you get a shout out, you get access to the Facebook group, you get early tickets and discounts.
If you're on the Dreamboat Cooper level, you also get all of those things plus bonus episodes.
Oh, I'm with you now.
You get it?
Everything below plus.
Yeah.
And then, but if you're on the Sydney shop.
Bloomberg level, you get all those things.
Plus, access into the fact quote or question section, which is this very section.
And I think it actually has a jingle.
Go somewhere like this.
Fact quote or question.
He always remembers the thing.
She always remembers the thing.
Can we get it one more time in Anastasia?
I just have to get into it.
Sorry, yeah.
And I wanted you to know.
Fair quote or question
Bye
Yeah
He always remembers today
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's wrong.
This happens at like
The end of a really long day.
This is the start of our day.
It's a midday.
Oh my God.
We've got so much to record today.
Well, I wanted you to know.
So we've got three fact quotes or questions today.
Yeah.
I read them out.
They get to give us a fat quote a question.
They also give themselves a title.
First up, we got Joslyn Kravitz, aka Associate Director for Actually Including White Space this time.
Okay.
Justin Kravitz has a question.
Writing.
Apologies to Matt for a question he can't answer.
I was wondering how Jess and Dave decided on the names for their dogs and what
ridiculous names do you actually call them?
Oh.
Answering my own question, we adopted our first dog when she was about 10 months old.
The shelter named her ladybug, but since she's the sweetest little pea, we changed
her name to sweet pea, also known as sweet potato, peanut, peanut butter, peanut butter cup,
princess puppy cup and sweetest of peas.
Slight digression.
If you haven't heard of the sci-fi show Farscape, hashtag number one.
You need to go watch it immediately.
And hashtag number two, one of the characters played in inverted commas by a three-foot-tall puppet is Dominar to over 600 billion subjects of the Heinerian, Heinerian Empire.
He also farted helium when he was nervous.
Back on topic.
That's the craziest digression we did that.
So what do you call you?
Like, also, here's a man.
I'm a show I like from 1999.
I love it, obviously.
Back on topic, we adopted our second dog when he was still a floppy little three-month-old
puppy named, puppy named David, great name for a podcast, but not a puppy.
While we were driving him home, he looked very dignified, sitting up very straight on my husband's
lap while also smelling incredibly bad.
I think David's the perfect name for this.
Great posture, terrible odour.
Yes.
Naturally, we named him Rijel, or Rijel, after five.
Arscapes, Helium Farting Monarch, Domina, Rigel, or Rijel, the XV1, the 16th.
He is also known as Riginald D-Dog, Rijamical, Rijie Potato Head, and his bucket of farts, and Prince P.P. Feet.
Now, this is, to me, this is real dog people stuff.
Oh, my gosh.
Big, this is the kind of, I would, I'd probably.
probably say millennial dog people stuff.
Because both of us went, mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah, he's got foul.
When Sweet Peas peanut butter, I'm like, of course.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That makes perfect sense.
I don't, and I don't know this for sure, but I'd put money that Jocelyn Kravitz is a
millennial.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And pretty confident, a dog owner.
Okay.
Yeah, that's interesting.
The context she's gave me both of those conclusions.
Sweet P and Rigel are now 16 and 12 years old, respectively, and continue to live up to
their name. Sweet P is very deaf, but still very sweet. And Rangel or Rijal still looks
very dignified when he sits up straight, but makes the worst room clearing far.
Yeah, not my dog. Yeah. Don't make this a competition, Jocelyn.
I'll get him into a room and see who makes the other one pass that first. Because the worst part is...
Riegel's ass is writing checks that your mouth can't cash. Yeah, I don't know. I was almost...
Not something. Yeah.
I just said something in it.
I think if I had another girl, I would probably know it.
Yeah. It had all the bits of a joke.
So this was a question.
How did we come up with the names of our dogs?
What do we actually call the dogs?
Dave.
I think how we come up with the name?
We had maybe a very short list, but Humphrey just felt very right when we saw him.
Anything with bee bear or bee flabair?
We liked the name, but then we thought, he does look like a bear.
So his full name is Humphrey Bogart Bear.
Ah, the beast of Bogart.
Yeah.
But then that's not what we call him Humphrey to when we're out in public.
Yeah.
You're at the park.
Humphrey, Humphrey, Humphrey.
Or when he's in trouble.
Yeah, exactly.
Humphrey broke up here.
Look at me.
But he's, and I think this is how we got to it.
It was Humphrey.
Humphrey do.
Humphrey do-do do-do.
Doody.
That's his name.
But then there's a bunch of other names.
Duddy McSruff.
You and Jocelyn Kravitz are the same person
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The boy.
I'm going to guess Jocelyn is 34 years of age.
A little man.
Dubble.
Yep.
Dubly.
All of this makes the perfect sense.
Like there's so many.
Am I right in saying this a monumental thing or is this like an older and younger,
it's just a dog person thing?
I think it happens with dogs.
Right.
Maybe cats as well, but.
Yeah, I think, I can't remember.
My parents are doing with our dogs growing up.
That was their name.
That's what you call them.
But like now...
Yeah, but your parents had no...
Not your parents.
The royal your parents.
Had no sense of whimsy, you know?
They weren't having fun at home.
We named a dog.
We named a dog Pete.
That's a great name.
I was 10 and wanted to name him Spudgun, but no one listened.
Fuck off.
Spudgun's so much better.
Spudgum's so funny.
Because then you just call it Spud.
Yeah, Spud's a great name.
Well, I just found the list of...
I had a spudgun when I was a kid.
Good.
Probably good.
And then I'd be like Tater, Tater, Tart.
Yeah.
The Tart.
Toddy Goldsmith.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Goldie.
That's what happens.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
It just happens.
You don't, you don't do it on purpose.
Smithy, Norm.
You can't, um.
Cheers.
Everybody knows your name.
Namey.
Uh, name.
You can't manufacture.
It just happens.
Your dog's name is name.
Well, really it's spud gun, but let me tell you how we got to name.
Yeah.
I just found that this is a list from November 2020 of dog names.
that we were running through.
Oh, right, great.
Sunny was up there.
Good name.
Chip or chippy?
I feel like that's a good dub thing.
Which is great because he loves chips.
Chippy.
Chippy.
Bug, Orby.
Goose is on there.
Tugger.
Eddie.
Kip or Kipper?
Kipp is good.
Tugboats, you love.
Chip is good.
Chip is good.
That's what Danny Frawley's nephew's nickname was.
That's good.
Because Danny Froley was Spud.
Ah.
His nickname was Chip.
That's great.
A bit of fun.
That's cute.
Chip off the old Spud block.
That's nice.
But we went with Goose because we both, it was a name both of us liked.
And then one day Aiden said, I just feel like if we named him anything else, I'd always think he could have been a goose.
And then we got him and he's a silly goose.
So it works.
But anything with like an ooh sound, we call him.
So like it's goo, gooey, gooby, boy.
We call him boy a lot.
Goose too, the secret of the ooze.
Yeah, that's right.
Bubba.
Oh, yeah.
He responds to that one, which is very cute.
Bad boy, Bobby.
There's something else as well.
Oh, Mr. Pogbu is what Aiden calls him.
So lots of different names.
It just happens.
I think it's similar to footballer nicknames.
Yeah.
So put it into terms you understand.
Well, because I was just thinking chips and other, like there were two fishes on the Saints
lists for a little while in the mid-2000s-ish.
And one of them ended up being called.
One was fish and other was chips.
That's good.
That's cute.
A bit of fun.
Bit of fun.
Yeah, it just kind of happens.
But yeah, to each other, it's just like, have you fed boy?
Have you fed the boy?
Yeah, the boy has been fed, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't respond to boy, but any kind of goo sound, gooy is the main one.
He'll respond to that.
Nuga.
Nuga.
Oh, Humphrey Nuga.
Oh, that's good, actually.
There was a while.
That's their kid's name.
He was a boy girl.
Boy.
Okay, that probably won't have to adopt.
which is fine.
Which they're absolutely up for that.
Talk to them about it.
Yeah, it's great.
What would a combo of your two dogs look like?
Oh, fucked, to be honest.
Which bits do you...
Is it known which bits will be the dominant bits?
You know what I mean?
No, oh, I don't know, actually.
Or does it turn out?
Sometimes it looks like a big Frenchie.
Yeah.
Because Humphrey's big.
Or sometimes like a French-sized furball.
Oh, my good.
I just Google.
This is a Frenchie.
Frenchie doodle, which is a Frenchie with a...
Does that exist?
It's very cute.
It just looks like a doodle.
That's like it goes back.
There's no Frenchie in that.
And then there's also this one.
This one.
Is this one?
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's like a long haired Frenchie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, I've seen those before.
I would guess, because Goose is fairly big for a Frenchie anyway.
I would guess it would be, still look like if it would have the ears of a Frenchie,
but it would probably have more like the doodle hair.
Right.
Which is good.
Yeah.
You love doodle hair?
Yes.
I think if I was going to...
Matt.
I'm more of a Brazilian.
Matt, we got him.
You got him.
Wrap it up.
He loves doodle hair.
Mate.
Come on.
I can't get enough.
Come on.
It doesn't shed.
A bit of fun.
Anyway, does that answer that question?
I think it does.
I believe it does.
Thank you so much, Jocelyn.
Let us know if you are exactly 34 years old.
The next one comes from David Milofsky.
Okay, the man from a place.
to hang your cape.
David's title is
Blind Billy Club
Bearing Breaker of Bones
and he's offering a fact writing
My old time favourite superhero's
Daredevil and this year marks his 60th anniversary.
So I've thought I would give some facts
about the man without fear.
You can decide whether they are fun, grim or marvellous.
Okay.
Created by San Lean Bill Everett in 1968
Daredevil's early issues featured a yellow and red costume
also called the mustard and ketchup costume.
It wasn't until issue seven penciled and inked by cartoonist Wallywood
that the iconic red suit made its debut.
I'm sorry, Wallywood?
Wallywood.
That's awesome.
You are entering Wallywood.
Wood's distinctive visual style,
including the character's iconic horns and Billy Club,
has become synonymous with Daredevil.
Despite his significant contributions,
Wood has unfortunately never been formally recognized as a co-creator
nor receive credit in subsequent film and television adaptations.
Seems to be a recurring theme.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be frightening.
Like if you make significant changes to a thing that's already existing,
they're like, oh, you didn't create it though.
Yeah.
You just turned it into what we all know it as.
Yeah.
Different.
You just made it better.
One of my favorite daredevil moments comes from Charles Seals,
or Souls, 2016 run.
In a particularly amusing scene, everyone, including The Avengers,
has forgotten that blind Matt Murdoch is Daredevil.
During a team-up with Captain America, Daredevil encounters a bomb
and asks Cap over the comms to how to disarm it.
Cap casually suggests cutting the red wire.
Daredevil sighs and in the next panel tosses the bomb off the roof into the Hudson River.
Bit of fun.
Bit of fun.
Because he can't see red.
You can't see.
Or at all.
I hope some of that qualified as fun and can't wait to see you guys in London.
Can't wait to see you in London.
Which we might have already seen you by this point.
What a pleasure to have already seen you in Land.
But at the time of recording, we leave in a week.
That's right.
Oh my God.
We're very excited.
Thank you so much, David.
Jess, do you want to give that fun or non-fun?
Yeah, fun.
Yeah.
There's no grimness there, Dave.
Dull or no dull?
Yeah, I don't think I was grim at that while he wouldn't have got the credit he decided.
Oh, yeah.
That wasn't really up for you to say, though.
I'm the grim girl.
You're the dull.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
I've had Deb D step on my toes like that.
D.
Dave, are you apologising or if that's what you're fumbling about, get it out, mate, because I'm about to have hurt feelings.
Let me just say this conversation is officially turned tall.
Matt, do you want me to beat him up?
Yes, please.
Okay.
Pau. Wham. Thwhack.
Bong.
Jizz.
Jiz.
Final one this week comes from...
I bonged him, any jiz.
Dave Loring.
And Dave has the title of Gentle Giant and Provider of Exceptional Hugs.
And is offering, maybe this is the first time we've had a clarification.
Okay.
Reading.
Hey, pals, my last fact, this is the second one that's been referenced something from a previous fact, quite a question.
And I don't know if you're like me, but my memory is bad.
No, I'm notorious for my very good memory.
We're lucky to have Dave here.
I've never forgotten.
But it sounds like David's about to sort of remind us.
anyway, hopefully.
Oh my God, yes.
Okay.
My last fact quarter question submission covered a fun incident involving the police
arresting Margaret Pobberants.
That was so good, even though I said a name of Pomerantz.
And that's since coming to our lives.
Yeah, Lexi.
Lexian, maybe this is related to that.
Lexi and Zachary Rowan are doing a show all about that.
And I also covered the classifications in Australia G through 18 plus.
Matt mentioned the X rating and I realized I omitted it from the detail.
There is an X-Sat.
18 plus category in Australia.
It's reserved for pornographic material, but even then there are a lot of restrictions
which apply to what's allowed, allowed.
Allowed.
Within that category.
And anything outside of it gets refused classifications.
Movies rated X-18 plus are only allowed to be sold in the Northern Territory or
ACT for reasons I still don't fully understand.
Though anyone in the other states can rest assured that there are no restrictions on buying
your government-approved pornography in the territories and then carrying it across
state lines. It's all a bit silly, really. And even recent reviews of the guidelines around
film classification acknowledged that the internet has basically rendered the rating redundant.
There's a lot of other quirky details and anecdotes I could go into, but on the off chance
that the history of movie classifications in Australia gets to be a topic someday. One of my
earlier hat suggestions, I wouldn't dare ruin the surprises. The biggest surprise, of course,
being that it's actually an interesting topic despite the name.
On a final clarification, I finished the last submission with big, strong hugs,
and Matt suggested I needed to be careful, as I didn't know my own strength.
If I may sneak in a brag, I give exceptional hugs that are both comforting and reassuring.
I think if anybody knows her own strength, it's also David Loring.
But also, if anyone...
Like he knows exactly what he can pick up and put down.
I think that's true, but can he know how comforting and reassuring his own hugs are?
That's more on a person's vibe.
And I think, yeah, you're right.
Do any of us know that?
I don't think we could.
Even if you're being told that.
You give surprisingly good hugs for somebody who's very cold.
Cold and bony.
Yeah.
Called emotionally, bony physically.
Yes.
But great hugs.
It's confusing.
I'm also bony emotionally.
Me, I'm emotionally bony.
But he does say, but it's hard to boast about that without.
also seeming a bit creepy.
So I may have just shot myself on the foot there.
You have.
I will now forever associate you with creepiness, Dave.
Yeah.
Dave Loring, more like Dave,
creepying.
Absolutely nailed it.
Anyway, this is going on long enough.
Hope you're all well.
Thank you so much, Dave.
What a pleasure.
Appreciate that.
Dave, David.
And Jocelyn,
fantastic facts.
Fantastic quotes,
fantastic questions.
The next thing we like to do is a shout out to a few other
of our other fantastic patron supporters.
People in the car just didn't hear Matt for a bit there.
And Jess.
And how old, is this better for the car?
I think so.
Okay.
And Jess,
you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the topic at hand.
What are you thinking this week?
So I'm thinking because obviously this one,
it was largely pretty grim as a family got murdered.
But also there was a whole chunk there about a person impersonating Anastasia.
So I was thinking, I've got two options.
We can either give them.
the celebrity that they are impersonating
or I can give them an Anastasia song.
Oh, I mean, Dave, both fantastic options.
How many Anastasia songs are you going up yourself?
I've gone for a list of songs by Anastasia.
Okay.
Has she got nine songs?
I had to do it that way because when I looked up Anastasia songs,
it was just the soundtrack of the film Anastasia.
Oh, I mean, that's also an option.
Yeah.
Third option.
All right, Dave, you want to give the address as old?
I'll give the addresses.
You give the names.
How about that?
Love that.
All right.
First up, I love to thank.
From the bottom of my heart from, oh my God, God's country, Ohio.
In Columbus, more specifically.
It's Ren, R-E-N, Ren.
And are we giving them a song?
Let's do both.
Okay, yeah, you can do that.
So they're impersonating a celebrity.
And the celeb is...
Gary Busy.
Gary Busy.
Love it.
And their song is classic 2004, sick and tired.
Yes. I'm sick and tired.
I've always been sick and tired.
I guess that's kind of my anthem.
So I'll tell you what I am bloody sick of it.
Yeah. And you are often sick.
Yeah, and tired.
Thank you so much, Ren.
Also, I would love to thank from La Crosse in Wee.
I don't know if that's the West Indies.
No, it's in the United States.
It's Wisconsin, maybe.
It's Tyler Sokolik.
Tyler Sokolik is impersonating.
Jeremy Renner
Jeremy Renner
While they sing the 2001 song
You'll never be alone
Jeremy Renner
Because I'm following you
And I'm watching it
I'm learning all your mannerisms
Watch out Jeremy
Next up from
Bedford in Texas
I would like to thank Jared
A.k.a. Axel is Alive 95
Whoa!
They're impersonating
It's got to be Axel, right?
Rose.
Yeah, Axel Rose.
Or Axel Whitehead, is that someone?
Yeah.
Yep.
From Big Brother.
Oh.
Also a singer and maybe flashed himself at the Arias one year.
Flash himself?
Yeah.
I don't think anybody can get a load of this.
Just in a mirror looking at your own bits.
It's okay.
You're allowed to it.
It's weird, but you're allowed to do that.
That's okay.
I'm just a double-checking.
It is him.
Yes, he did expose himself once at the arias.
Cool.
It's a great name.
Why?
Why?
He concedes he'd had a few drinks than other 2006 arias.
Oh, 2006.
It was a peak time for flashing.
Yeah.
We don't flash now.
No, I don't think.
We're beyond flashing.
Mamma Mia counts 1.3 million people were tuning in from their laundras at home.
Then without comment or warning, Whitehead exposed his penis and simulated masturbating onto the trophy.
Oh my God.
Cool.
So should we say Axel Rose then?
Yeah.
Axel Rose.
I have a funny feeling he's done.
crook stuff but
he's also not
that controversy
for sure
and Axel
Rose is being a person
and singing what song
One day in your life
You will expose yourself
You will expose yourself
Next up I'd love to thank
from London Town
in England
I would like to thank
Victoria Jones
Pisonadey Jones
Vinny Jones
Only has to change
A few letters I guess
And
And singing the song,
Cored in the Middle.
I'd love to hear Vinnie Jones singing
Anastasia Classic.
Yeah.
That's just something I'd like.
From Rye.
Oh, beautiful spot.
I have had some great times down in Rye here in Victoria.
Gorgeous.
It's Jasmine, aka Gillian Anderson.
Oh.
One of my outside favorites.
Oh, my God, of course.
What a great actor.
Covering the song,
Now or Never.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It came out last year that one.
Is that a cover of the Wheat Hornet song
Now or Never?
Yeah, We're definitely the first to think of that title.
What are you to have a song come out?
20-23.
Yeah, it's definitely a cover then.
It's from 2003.
20th anniversary, appreciate the tribute.
That's nice.
That's nice.
We've got a lot of international artists to commemorate 20 years of the Wheat Hornet
AP.
It does seem like a big coincidence,
but as Jasmine always says,
there's got to be another explanation, Mulder.
Next time.
up from, oh, I just unknown can only assume from deep within the fortress of the malls.
Oh, well, located down there. It's Sean Francis Briffer.
Who is an imposter for Celine Dion.
Oh, yeah.
But not singing that song.
Not singing that.
Yeah, she is.
Which is a weird choice because you think you would sing Celine songs.
I think if you just brought her Celine down a few octaves or something, would she become Anastasia?
I think so. They do have a similar, like,
The voice is coming from within, within the, you know.
The voice is coming from within the mouth.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's back of the throat stuff.
Where's your voice come from?
Mine's coming from within my diaphragm.
I'm a deep singer.
That's how I'd sound of us sang from the back of my throat.
That's great.
That's nice.
And they're singing the song, Paid my Jews.
And Celine has.
Yes, D-U-E-S.
D-U-E-S.
I just thought that.
Doos.
D-U-S.
Pay my dues.
Hey, can I thank from Worthing in Wessex in Great Britain?
It's Charlotte Colwell.
Who is impersonating John Howard.
Whoa.
Actor or X-P-M?
X-P-M.
Pretty easy to do.
Boll cap and put Calipillars on your
eyes.
There you go, bro.
A bit of a...
Mr. Spoyka.
My fellow Australians.
Put on an Australian track set.
You go for a, like a fast-paced walk in the morning.
Yeah.
Good on you.
Good on you.
Of course, while you listen to the song, written about us, stupid little things.
Thanks so much, Anastasia, for that beautiful tribute.
Thank you.
To us.
I'm little.
I'm stupid.
I guess I'm things.
From Woolcott in Co.
maybe Colorado in the United States.
It's Greg Hartman.
Greg Hartman, of course, an imposter for Andre Agassi.
Wow.
Yeah.
Big time.
And the song, Bad Girls.
Well, he was a bad boy on the court when he started.
Oh, yeah.
It was a bad girl.
Beautiful flowing mullet.
Yes.
And finally from Crew in Virginia, I reckon.
It's Nathan, Greg.
Braber or Nathan Graber.
Impersonating Hans Gruber.
Hans.
Boobie.
Thank you so much.
What song, though?
What song?
Of course,
Best days.
Best days?
Yeah.
I hadn't heard of any of those.
Yeah, you had.
Sick and tired?
Sick and tired, yeah.
Great time.
Now I'll never.
Sick and tired by friends are wrong.
That's the one.
Yeah, yeah.
So you're covering a lot of us.
They've actually,
they've actually covered.
hair. There you go. Thank you so much to Nathan, Greg, Charlotte, Sean, Jasmine, Victoria,
Jared, Tyler and Wren. And the last thing we do is welcome some into our TripDitch Club.
We've got two inductees this week. Dave will explain what it's all about.
This is our Hall of Fame slash Clubhouse where we initiate the people that have been supporting
the show on the shoutout level for three consecutive years. They've never jumped off.
They've never jumped off. They've continued to support us.
That does make it sound like they're standing on a cliff.
Yeah, yeah, but they've got great balance.
But they love it there too.
There is a cliff, of course, in the Tripitch Club.
There's everything.
Yeah.
I mean, there's al-a-hiki, ice hockey, there's a cliff, there's cliff diving, there's a fountain.
We've got that Las Vegas dome.
Oh, yeah, the sphere.
And that helps us, like, things that we haven't thought of, we just make that look like those things.
Yeah.
You want a quick, we just like radio upstairs.
We're like, Christy, can you please, put the...
Chris.
Can you please put the cliff on the dome?
We need to make it look like we've got a cliff in here.
Cheers, Christy.
And then she puts up Cliffy, the old guy ran in boots.
I like, no, Christy.
We meant like a mountain cliff edge, thanks, Christy.
And then she puts Cliffy on a mountain.
Chrisy.
Take Cliffy off.
It's not about Cliffy.
That's not about Cliffy.
Legend, but we don't need to put him up there because we got real cliffy.
And then she puts Clifford the big dog.
We have to fire, Christy.
Oh my God, yeah, because that's Cliff Richard.
It's awful.
Yeah.
Cliff Burton.
Are you taking the piss, Christy?
Come on.
Have you seen a cliff before?
Because I'm about to push you off one.
Cliff notes.
Is that anything?
Is it?
Yeah, that's a thing.
That exists.
Treble cliff.
Is that anything?
Yeah.
So we've got two inductees this week.
But before we get to them, Jess, you're behind the bar?
Yeah, I've got vodka.
That's Russian, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, beautiful.
Lovely.
And like, is it a good one or are we talking like a, you know, a very cheap and nasty?
And you're mixing into a cocktail?
You just said, I think what you were saying was, is it a good vodka or is it cheaper enough?
But you sort of said, you're cheap is what you said.
Am I cheap?
Sorry, did I say, you're cheap?
Diddy stutter?
It's a middle of the line vodka.
Right.
Okay, it's pretty good.
Gray goose, something like that.
Yeah, it's a great goose.
Is that middle of the line or is that top of the line?
I don't know.
I'm sure that like, it depends where you look and I reckon.
Gregus is pretty good.
Yeah.
I think it's pretty good.
Like for me, that would be like the probably the best vodka I've ever had.
But then, you know, people on top of the cliff with Cliffy.
Yeah.
They're like, what?
Gregus.
Grievous.
Middle of the line.
Yeah.
But for people like Jess is very cheap.
Very good stuff.
Yeah, special occasions.
I got the Dan Aykroyd one as well.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So I got that too.
Is that you happy?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
And Dave, have you booked a band?
You never going to believe it.
I mean, there's one, imagine if it's, I mean, Jess now I'd probably think of one in particular and we'd be so excited.
But anyway, yeah, let's see.
Don't want to spoil it.
You are absolutely thinking of this artist.
It is the band that I've been playing in long legs a year tonight.
Whoa.
How we got them?
We got long legs?
It's a warm up gig actually because so I've been, for people who don't know,
earlier in the year we had Tom Mitchell, who was the singer of Weidhornet, come on, do a Patreon episode where we listened to our EP from 20 years ago,
the Wheat Hornet EP.
And then from then, Tom was like, he still makes music.
He plays, he's got a solo act called Long Legs, but he needed a live band.
So he invited me to, hey, should we get the band back together, basically?
So I've been playing bass with him for the last few months.
And we've got our first ever gig this weekend.
Whoa.
At the time of recording or at the time?
Time of release.
I have timed this well.
That's exciting.
Yeah, that's right.
Are you inviting me and Jess?
Because I'm pretty sure there's the first we've heard of it.
Yeah.
Well, it's only just been locked in because it's a while away at the time.
of recording, but it's on this Saturday night, November the 23rd, we are playing at
Revolver, baby.
So, within a few days of you getting back from a UK tour, you're then playing a gig.
Straight to the stage.
Jesus.
That's right.
I will be under, under oath.
So go easy on the bass player.
Are you bringing the bass on tour?
Yeah, to practice.
Absolutely.
Yes.
And I'm doing a show in Edinburgh that day.
Oh, you'll still be away.
You don't.
Well, we'll be able to link it up there.
You know, I want to be there.
Yeah.
Like we'll be live at your gig
Then you'll be live at our gig
Yeah
We'll just play each show in the background
Well
Christy can we get mad on the sphere
So anyway
It's a
Yeah
Our first ever live show
So if you're in Melbourne
Why not come along
So fun
Be a bit of fun
All right
Here are the inductees
We've got two
As I said
Dave's on stage
He's hopping up the crowd
Everyone who's ever been
admitted
this point, which I believe it's like maybe a thousand people.
They're all there.
It is getting a bit packed in here.
But that's why we're always expanding.
That's why we've got the sphere.
It might have an extraction fan because everyone is farting.
I think the capacity of the sphere alone is quite a lot larger than that.
I think everyone's got space.
Okay.
But unfortunately everyone...
I've been to the sphere.
Have you farted in the sphere?
I have farted in the sphere and you're telling me about the capacity.
Well, you were just saying that it's over capacity.
I'm saying we've got the sphere.
What you like?
I farted.
I haven't asked you about the fart.
Did people notice?
Like people around.
Did you have to do that thing where you were like, oh, first to time and be like, oh, it wasn't me?
And then pulled your shirt up your nose.
Once I started to see people looking around, I'd do the same.
Just look around like, oh, that's disgusting.
Is this part of the show?
This lady in the front of me here.
She did it.
Oh.
I knew it was a search.
I didn't know it was a smell show.
Oh, lady, you've got a problem.
That's disgusting.
You need to see a doctor.
That's what I said.
It's it.
Medic, we need a medic.
This woman farted.
This woman's dying on the inside.
Quick.
We need a vet.
Someone's crawled up and died.
This woman's eyes.
I can't believe you farted in the sphere.
That's awesome.
It's so cool, man.
It's honestly so cool.
And at the time, the sphere was looking like a big egg.
So it made sense.
It actually made a lot of sense.
It actually made a lot of sense.
Well, don't fart.
I think you got away with that.
Oh, okay.
So we got two names.
Dave's up on the stage.
He's up and everyone up.
Just hopped up, Dave.
Yeah.
His confidence is low based on how he's pretty mediocre.
So first up, two names.
Here we go.
If you hear your name, run on in and join the party
and hang around for the after party with long legs.
First up, address unknown.
Can I show him from deep within the fortress of the miles, please.
Welcome in.
Duke's.
Triceratops.
Duke Triceratop of the Pops.
Woo!
More like triceratops.
And from...
Yeah, I'll allow that.
I will allow that.
Normally I'd murder you for that,
but that was pretty fun and a nice little callback
to earlier when we were in the spa.
Yeah.
That was nice.
That was on this though, wasn't it?
I think so.
And finally from a beautiful neck of the woods,
head up the Ernst Wank Road.
to Nari Warren North Victoria.
I laugh at that every time.
Welcome in Catherine.
Catherine, more like kath, uh, chin, chin, chin to you.
That rhymes with Rin.
Catherine.
Catherine, chit, chin, chin, cheers and chin chin.
Welcome in, Catherine.
Chin chin.
And the duke.
The joke.
Cap brings the end of episode and anything we need to tell anyone,
Bob, before we go.
We love you and you can suggest a topic.
There's a link in the show notes,
which is also on our website, which is do go onpod.com, and you can find us on social media
at do go on pod or do go on podcast on tiki-toki.
Tiki-toki.
And that's what we belong.
There's cool millennials.
Like, that's totally our area and we dominate the space.
And we make it ours and it makes sense that we're there.
You know millennials are now being, you know how Gen X people would correct people online be like,
I'm not a boomer.
I'm actually.
I've started seeing millennials have to do it.
It's so funny how it's just everyone's boomer now older than Gen Z, which I think is fantastic.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
It feels good.
It feels good to shop for jeans the other day and be like, I know really wide-legged jeans are in,
but I look stupid in them.
I need something slimmer.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry young person working here.
I know it offends your taste, but I look stupid in those tunes.
Anyway, so yeah, thanks for listening.
And Dave, boot this baby home.
Hey, we'll be back next week with the number one,
most requested, most votable topic of Block 2024.
I'm so excited.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it either.
I'm not ready for it, Twitter.
I hope you can believe it, Matt, because you are writing the reports.
Yeah, I hope you've done it.
It's a big one.
Yeah, it's a whopper.
So we'll be back then.
Thank you so much for listening.
And until then, we'll say thank you and goodbye.
Later.
Bye.
Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are
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