Two In The Think Tank - 478 - The Woolworths Christmas Bombings

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas! Let's celebrate with a very jolly topic indeed ... the story of a string of bombings in 1980 at multiple Woolworths stores in New South Wales...This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:00 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone, this is Dave here with some exciting news. That is our 500th episode is on sale now next year Saturday April 26 we're gonna do a huge show at live at the Capitol Theatre and I'm amazed to say that in a few short days We're already at almost 50% capacity wall people have told us they're coming in from interstate even from overseas to come to the show Which is so exciting We won't let you down gonna put on a great-minute show with lots of special guests from across the history of the podcast. It's going to be awesome. And you can get tickets right now at dogoonpod.com that's Saturday, April 26th in Melbourne for

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Head to squarespace.com slash do go on for a free trial and to save 10 percent of your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com slash do go on. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On, the Krispy special live in Leeds! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo It's the news, it's the news, it's the news. We're gonna be on the news. What for? It's a riot. An Australian podcast has started a riot this week. That was fucking sick.

That was powerful. But see, if that happened in Australia, you'd be like, whoa. It's usually like, oh, racist. But this was nice. This was powerful. I'm pretty sure it's the same over here. Oh yeah, that's where we learned it from. Yeah.

We tried to get it going in Manchester last night, but it did not have the same ring to it. Manchester, Manchester. Yeah. Leeds, perfect for it. Perfect. Yeah. One syllable.

But at the bar shop next door, I did say, I don't know, are you all familiar with pie minister? So we, I had my favorite pie is Kevin. And you said, saying, well, I got some really rough news for you, they're killing off Kevin. And in Manchester, they had already killed him off. So I said to them next door, I said, please sir, can I get a Kevin? And he said, of course. I said, we can I get a Kevin and he said of course I said we

couldn't in Manchester he said well we're better than Manchester and then he realized and he said actually no this is the last Kevin and he was delicious. So good. One of the best green rooms in the biz we were just in. It's the mop closet, but it feels about right for us. Beautiful spot to eat a pie. Yeah. But anyway, I've got quite a long report to get to.

And the way the show is going to work tonight is we're going to do Jess's report, the Christmas topic. We're going to have a little halftime break and then we're going to come back and do for the first time ever, everyone's favorite section of the show live. That could have gone either way. You could have been like, we'll go, we'll just leave. It's OK. You absolutely can do that. Yeah, you can certainly leave at the break.

Or you can get a drink and hang around for the best part of the show. Yeah, everyone's favorite part. So that's how that's how we're gonna do it. But we have a couple of questions We usually ask it to start a live show. We start by saying give us a round of applause If you've ever heard Do Go On before Which we always hope and assume that most of you have but it leads to this question Which is give us a round of applause if you've never heard the show ever in your life. Okay, this is our sixth show, and at all six shows, one of those people who's never heard it before, front row.

We are six from six. Who brought you here tonight? Okay, you've obviously listened for a while. We are six from six. Who brought you here tonight? My friend. Okay, you've obviously listened for a while? Yeah, we've got like 10 years. Wow. Longer than we've existed. Incredible.

You could be our biggest fan. He was there since before the beginning. You just listened to me in my sleep. And that's gross. And how long have you two been dating? Two and a half years. And in that two and a half years you haven't supported his hobby at all. I don't want to break up a relationship here tonight but I have to.

She's no good for you, leave her. Honestly, yeah, I just can't make it any more clear than that. She doesn't love you. And she doesn't deserve love. Yeah. Anyway, welcome to the show. I thought the bit where you said before that you were relieved when someone died was the worst thing you ever said to me.

That was before we saw the pod day. Well, welcome. Thank you so much for giving us a go. It's going to be awkward from the front row of your head. Yeah, we'll know. So basically, okay, this is our Christmas episode. I put up four Christmas themed topics for the vote. Any Patreons in?

You voted for this and I want to reward you with a Christmas gift. So, I'm going to give you a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen.

So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. So, we're going to have a little bit of a preview of what's going to happen. Christmas episode I put up four Christmas themed topics for the vote. Any Patreons in? You voted for this and I want to remind you you voted for this on this Christmas topic. I put up quite a few wholesome really nice really fun light-hearted kind of topics and my question is which major Australian supermarket chain was the target of a series of bombings in 1980? I'm gonna go with my heart I used to work at Safeway slash Woolworths is it? It is Woolworths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is the story... Can I? Do you mind? He's a feminist, it's okay.

This is the story of the Woolworths bombing. Woo! Honestly, put up some really cute, wholesome shit. And you fuckers went, BOMB! BOMB! It's the most wonderful time of the year. Our Christmas episodes do have a history

of being a bit grim. Yeah. I kicked it off with our first live one ever, and that included quite a few women who went missing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we said they went missing, they were definitely dead. Yeah.

At Christmas time. Yes. If you're wondering what the relevance. Yeah, it's tenuous, as is this. So just a little backstory, because because we have basically two supermarkets in Australia. We have more, but really, it's the big two. We have Coles and we have Woolworths. And just a little bit of background for you guys in the in the audience. But Australians back home would know all about Woolies. But it started as Woolworth's Stupendous Bargain Basement.

Did you know that? Come on down. That's awesome. It was back in 1924 in Pitt Street in Sydney. It's right in the heart of the city of Sydney. And yeah, it was Woolworth's Stupendous Bargain Basement. And it grew very quickly. They then acquired a few other brands and now it's one of our biggest,

one of the biggest supermarkets we have. And so our story takes place in a Woolworth store or should I say Woolworth's stores? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. It's a pantomime. How can a bombing be taking place in multiple places at once?

Yeah, it's crazy. I guess we'll find out, but I'll have to keep paying attention. And that's not going to happen. Just zoning every now and then and you'll piece it together. So the first bomb was at a shopping center that Woolworths had built in the 60s. It was one of those shopping complexes that had a Woolworths and like 20 other small shops. And it was in Warilla Grove, so outside of Wollongong. See, all of this makes perfect sense for you guys too, doesn't it?

I'm not going to explain the geography of any of these places. The 17th of December, Trevor Green was doing his security rounds at 3 a.m. The only other person in the building was a cleaner who was polishing the floors. And Trevor heard a noise that sounded like someone walking on the roof of the building. Oh my god. Couldn't be. Santa's a week early. You're not going to be able to get out of here. You're not going to be able to get out of here. Santa's a wink early.

Rudolph's on a bit of recon. Trevor's like, He's so excited. He's about to be ruined. So he went to investigate. And as he did, there was a sudden loud explosion. Trevor said it felt like the entire shopping center was lifting off the ground.

He yelled to the cleaner to get out and ran to his office to call the police. Police arrived and assessed the damage. The blast had ripped a huge hole in the roof, shattered the Woolworth shop front, and blown out the windows of nearby stores. I've always wondered how Santa gets in. No, it makes sense to me.

Yeah, yeah. Because not every house has a chimney, you know? If you don't have a chimney, Santa will explode your roof. He will explode your roof! There was exposed wires that were sparking, water was leaking from destroyed pipes. Investigations revealed that a stick of gelignite, also known as blasting gelatin, bit of fun, was lowered through an air vent in the roof before exploding. While an explosion like this was certainly newsworthy,

it didn't exactly make front page news or gather too much attention until a second bomb went off. He got the best. What is wrong with the Australian media? The first bomb you're like, whatever. It was 3am, no one was there. Woolworths blow up all the time.

Oh, another one. I'm losing. Yeah, there was probably like, I don't know, Kylie Minogue had probably done something that day. That's more important to our culture. Yeah. So, another bomb went off. This time about three hours

north in Maitland, we all know Maitland, a town just outside Newcastle. There's a Greyhound racing truck there. That helps you. Yeah, I was just painting a picture there. Yeah. Like with the Wollongong bombing, it was done at night with no casualties and a stick of gel ignite. The damage this time was more widespread with shop windows shattered down the street and a huge fire causing about $300,000 worth of damage, which was a huge sum at the time, as if that's not a lot of money now. It's about £3.50 now.

Let me grab my wallet. I'll get this. You get the next one. Yeah okay. Do you know why the the Herald Sun or whoever didn't put it on the front page? They didn't have time to think of a good pun. What would you, after the second one Dave, what would your headline be? Unsafe way. way. So good to see up close. He's a master. It says on his credit card. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't have done anything that good. It would just be like, oh, kaboom. Kaboom, don't go to the shops today. What about our clean up on aisle one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. That's good. And you want one?

I don't get it. You know, they say clean up on aisle nine and it's like clean up on every single aisle because it'd blown up the... Gotcha. Unsafe way was better. That was pretty good. It's a clean up on aisle nine and it's like clean up on every single aisle. Oh, all of them. Because it'd blown up the... Gotcha. ... unsafe way was better. That was pretty good. Anyway, so the story this time was all over the news, but the culprit and their motive

was a mystery. We've cracked it at Santa. The motive was getting in. The motive was leaving pretty. So they'd been nice like no contact from the, from the culprits, no like threats or warnings. So they're like, why are you doing this? But that was until December 22nd. Getting closer to Christmas.

And that's about as close as we get to this having anything to do with Christmas. What year was it? I think that's my parents wedding anniversary. 22nd of December. Something like that. It was way cheaper. January was a Tuesday. And your sister was born how long after?

It was a Christmas miracle. But are you trying to give your parents an alibi for this bombing? It could have been. That would get made. It was a Christmas miracle. But are you trying to give your parents an alibi for this bombing? It couldn't have been. They live in a different state. So a letter arrived at the Woolworths head office in Sydney written on a typewriter. It read, this week we exploded two devices in two separate areas of New South Wales. They were both detonated in the early hours of the morning to demonstrate our ability

with explosives and your vulnerability. There will be no further nighttime exercises. If it is necessary for us to bring more pressure to bear upon your company, we intend to place explosives in your stores, which will explode during peak shopping hours. Along with the usual demand to not involve police, they asked for $500,000 in used unmarked $20 notes, $250,000 in 50 ounce gold bullion bars, $250,000 in loose diamonds of one carat or greater. Any foolishness regarding the true value of the gold at any cost and diamonds will result at it. Geez, I haven't written that very well.

No. And that's on them. Yeah. Any foolishness regarding the true value of the gold or the diamonds will result in great embarrassment to the people we know are decision makers of our demands. So they're like, don't fuck with us. You give me cubic zirconia and I'll fucking kill you. I like it there, like, and we know them.

Don't ask us their names. But we know them. We know who's making these decisions. So we'll know if you've done any funny business. So they finished the letter with the threat of a third bomb. Ooh, that makes sense from where they were. Yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, you could threaten a fourth or fifth, but I feel like that would be confusing.

It was so hard. For the listeners at home, Dave is... Naked. And he was laughing. Sorry, it was so hard. You're right to laugh. You are right to laugh. You could actually put your t-shirt on backwards too. Made you laugh! I actually looked.

Isn't his hair perfect for an elf hat? Yeah. That is so perfect. There's no more perfect elf. No. Not just his hair is perfect for it, your whole physique. The whole vibe. And yet you played Santa. Ridiculous.

Well, only because I was so good at the elf they gave me the promotion. Seriously, it was a bad choice. Yeah, not a good business move. Anyway, I'm trying to build tension, there's a threat of a third bomb, oh my god. And it's not going to be at night. Nah. Oh my gosh. And it wasn't an idle threat either. The third bomb came on December 24th, 1980.

Christmas Eve! We are closer! You said that we wouldn't get any more Christmas Eve than the 22nd. Yeah, I lied. Oh my God. You are diabolical. Their target was a flagship Woolworth store in the middle of the Sydney CBD. It was 3 p.m. Christmas Eve and the 10-story Woolworth's was packed to the brim with shoppers.

So the first few floors of the building were shopping departments. Nowadays it's just a supermarket, but back then it was more like a department store as well. Like John Lewis and Partners. Local reference. I went to one today. Was it similar to TK Maxx? I went to one today.

So the first few floors are shopping departments, the higher floors are the head office. So there's lots of people there, lead up to Christmas, everybody doing their last minute shopping. It's packed. A secretary by the name of Leonie McKinley picked up a call at her desk. On the other end was a man who introduced himself as Mr Dunmore. He spoke with a fake Italian accent, which I will not be demonstrating. They're trying to be taken seriously.

And he said, I want you to clear the George and Park Street store in 10 minutes and you'd better do it. Now, a quick side note for a bit of like context in Australia at the time. It was later immediately obvious to investigators that Mr Dunmore's Italian accent was fake. He was definitely a native English speaker putting on the accent. He was very inconsistent with his addiction and word choices and coincidentally then in, exaggerated Italian accents were being used by a lot of people as they sang along to Joe Dolce's, Shut Up Your Face, which had recently become Australia's biggest selling single and was still at number one after eight weeks in that top spot. And I've never been so proud to be an Australian.

You sing it in your head, aren't you? Yeah. So. Do you want to have a go? Well, to be honest, I think I have the wrong song in my head, but my brain is singing when the moon hits your eye. That's not Joe Dolce. No that's not Del Doce. That's Samore.

So anyway they've got this bomb threat and then I went on a tangent about, shut up your face. So Leonie, she springs into action. She goes to the Woolworths GM who sounded an alarm over the PA and they began to clear thousands of shoppers out of the store. The police were called as well. Now they've only been given 10 minutes to search for this bomb and some of that time has already passed.

So short on time, the police method was just to cover as much of the ten floors as they could looking for anything out of the ordinary. So they start at the top floors they work their way down and they get fairly close to the front door before they hear an explosion. The glass front doors shatter ceilings collapse and chaos breaks out. People are screaming, some had minor cuts from the broken glass. A lot of people were shocked and very confused. They just were there to get Christmas stuff. That's what you get for leaving it to the last minute. You get exploded. So police are trying to get people away from the door. They're

unsure if there's going to be another explosion. It's chaotic. The bomb, it turns out, had been set up in the kids section of Woolworths. So as you can imagine, the police are now extra pissed and pretty keen to find these people. After the third explosion, eyewitnesses reported seeing someone leaving a nearby train station entrance in a bit of a hurry. The description of that person matched the description given by a Woolworth's

employee who had seen someone acting suspiciously in the toy department earlier that day. Was he dressed as Super Mario? Why? Because of the accent. The accent. It's the accent. Right.

It's a me. Obama. Is it unusual for someone to be rushing out of a train station? That feels like. But I make note of it. If I see someone rushing on or off a train. What are they up to? What the fuck's going on here? Taking a mental image of them.

Yeah, yeah. I just take a photo. I take an actual image. I've got thousands of them. Bunch of suspicious freaks. So anyway. So from there they put together identicates of this person, but of course with bad witness memory memory the descriptions weren't all that helpful and it was a bit of a dead end. A few days later the bomber makes contact again.

As soon as they pick up the phone they hear, it's a man! I'm walking in! That is inconsistent. Yeah. This time the bomber gets very specific instructions to have a Woolworth security guard, who he identifies by name, dress in a boiler suit and be given the ransom money. I don't know why he got to choose his outfit. Seems a little full on to me. I'd be like, whatever is comfy in, something that can get wet. What are you doing to the security guard?

That's for me to know. So he's like, give him the money, put him in a boiler suit, then I'll give more instructions. The police had apparently somehow predicted that this would happen. And they had actually ordered that particular security guard to go on holiday and they put one of their own undercover guys in there.

And so they're like, oh, do you want Jared? Yeah, he's on, he's away. It's Christmas. And the bomber goes, all right, yeah, we'll do the other guy. So it's an undercover cop. So yeah, he agrees, which is insane. Police then prepared to make the ransom drop. They had cars following behind, aerial surveillance by helicopter, and all transport like airlines, trains, and boats on the harbour,

staked out looking for unusual activity. So they're really playing it very cool. There's helicopters over here. Nah, we're not looking, we're just checking. it very cool. There's helicopters over here. No, we're not looking. We're just checking. So the caller directed the man in the boiler suit to a pub in Western Sydney. When he arrived to that pub, there was a phone call that then directed him to another pub in Double Bay. Because the police were everywhere in the city, they were able to make it to Double Bay before the boiler suit officer made it there. And that's where they noticed a man with a big bushy beard. Sam! Why do you think me?

I reckon your parents have an alibi but do you? Enough said. So they notice him acting a little bit suspiciously but from there the boiler suit delivery man was directed to yet another pub this time in Mossman. We're just doing a pub crawl, it's fun. Is he having a beer in his pub? Yeah, of course! Beer or not to, it would be suspicious. Exactly. This time in Mossman, we're just doing a pub crawl. It's fun. Is he having a beer in his pub? Yeah, of course.

Beer and not to, it would be suspicious. Exactly. So when he gets there, he's told to reach inside a gap in the wall where he found a walkie talkie, and he was now getting directions from the bomber via walkie talkie. That's sick.

He's then directed to go to the wharf, and when he's there, he is to attach the ransom, it's inside like a sports bag, to a rope, then lower it into the water. Whoa. There are undercover cops everywhere, they're posing as fishermen and just regular people, they're just watching this bag. And this is a quote from a 10-part podcast series about this. Overkill, to be honest.

Watch me do it in an hour. Detective Fitzpatrick was holding the line when at 2.27 a.m. he had a bite. Someone or something was tugging on the fishing line, attached to the yellow rope. Senior Constable Frank Bafoni, nice, went to the war fair. Sorry, his name is Frank Bafoni? to the warfage, went to the warfage and peered down into the water.

Against the darkly shimmering surface he saw a man, a man in a full scuba suit with twin air tanks on his back. What level of Mario is that? They're not underwater ones, yeah. Do do do, do do do. Like I had one furious nother in the front row. I don't want to say who it was but leave it mate. I can't look at them now. This guy was trying to, he was trying to cut the rope.

Right. He looked up and locked eyes with the undercover officer. Keeping cool, Frank Bafoni said, Oh gee mate, you gave me a fright. I'm just doing some fishing. Anyway. Hello, I'm Frank Bafoni, that's what I'm doing. See ya later, just fishing. So the scuba suit, scuba guy did not respond.

Was he underwater or is he up? He's under water. Oh man, maybe he's just like head above water. Oh jeez mate, you scared me. The guy's like, what? So Frank, as casually as he could, retreated from the wharf edge and hurried to alert Detective Fitzpatrick and use his radio to raise the alarm. So he just went like, haha shit so what?

No, no, see you later. Just gotta go make a phone call real quick. So he rushed back to the edge of the wharf. Frank Bafoni's sub- Jesus Christ. This will edit together really nice. Jesus Christ was born the next day. So that's appropriate. They're trying to not let us call it Christmas anymore. What's this Chrismish? What is it?

Honestly, festive greetings, what we all say now, that's rubbish. We should still be allowed to say Christmas, like we all do still. You are at an age where when you say stuff like that... I know, it's not a... It's better even here. Wait, when you say that everyone goes, it's funny. Yeah. When you say it they go, fuck it. Oh man.

Yeah, no, you're right grandpa. The irony is more built in for you. It's a lot more dangerous. I've really got to use the eyes. You've got a lot of eye work. To be ironic man. I can't say anything anymore. I think you just look like you're having a medical episode.

In a lot of ways. Anyway, so Frank's, his surprise fishermen act had worked. Scuba guy's still there, still working away trying to get this bag. So Frank, he pulled his service revolver out and he aimed it at the guy and said, I'm from the police, don't move or I'll shoot. The guy's still like, what are you saying up here? What? So this, the suspect who they'd codenamed Mr. Bridge.

It's not all good, you know. They're the police, they're not the most creative. Mr. Bridge? That is so bad. What would you call him? Sir... Road? Yeah, yeah, it is harder than it looks. It is harder than it looks. Anyway, so the police, they get this guy out of the water,

and they establish that Mr. Bridge is in fact called Greg McCarty. Great name. Greg was born in Queensland, he's the son of a popular local rugby player. He was popular with the ladies at school and was a promising young footballer. One of his girlfriends and again a reference you guys will all really enjoy. One of his girlfriends growing up was none other than Australian daytime TV star, Kerryann Kennelly. Have I ever told you, once I was up in Sydney, deep into the night, and someone tried to get me back to their place and then we were all believing you until that I'm gonna move on, we're not in his misery

her name was Sarah B Phoney this is the line she used which I thought was fantastic she said my mum's Kerry Ann Kennelly do you want to come party at her house? and you guys are married now? Did you say yes? No, I couldn't. I couldn't go. You could have got a Carrie Ann sound.

I don't believe that was true. But it's such a wild one. It was a wild one. Oh my god. So Carrie Ann, so does anyone know who Carrie Ann is? Why would anyone know? Okay, so she had her own like daytime talk show and had a theme song that went like this Ka-ka-Kerri-annnnn

Fucking awesome. Fucking awesome. And her nickname is Cack Cack. Cack. Kerri-Ann Kennelly Honestly, Australians younger than them would know who they are so it makes sense that I barely know who she is. I've never heard that theme song in my life. But I was like, am I going to leave it out that Kerryann Kennelly dated this guy?

No. Wait, dated the dad or the... No, Greg. Greg himself. Dated Greg? Apparently. Bro! So that could have been the dad of the woman I was talking to.

I could be two steps away from this guy. Do you want to come back to my you two steps away from this guy. Do you want to come back to my dad's place? He's great. Now I'm listening. Now I'm interested. He was a bit of a troublemaker. He stole a lot of cars as a teenager. He worked odd jobs, including Jackaroo. Again, don't have to explain that to you guys. He was a bartender and he even was a trainee manager at a local Woolworths. Oh my goodness. That's where the bombs were.

Crazy. Anyway, he enlisted in the army in 1972, but while on leave, he got a girl pregnant and went AWOL and was eventually court-martialed and kicked out of the army. Sounds like he'd be happy about that though. Who knows? And the girl was Kerri-Ann Kennelly? Girl was Kerri-Ann Kennelly. Oh my god.

And you met their daughter. He worked across New South Wales and Queensland in pubs and clubs and often ended up on the wrong side of the law. And at the time of this arrest, as they pulled him out out of the water he had a warrant out against him as well. Why did he let him pull him out of the water? He should have just dived. See you later suckers! I think he could pop up in Nagateer anywhere. You can't get him in the water. You can't. That's not part of your jurisdiction. That's right. What about the water cops?

Yeah, water rats. Well, if there were water rats, if Jay Legai was there. Oh my God. This would crush in Australia. Oh my God. Honestly, we would just be standing in ovations for these references. You guys don't have water rats do you not have

water The name means nothing to you? That name means nothing to you? Oh my god! This country! Listen again, it's royalty! Oh my gosh! The Gold Loki! Do you respect the Gold Loki? Fucking hell!

It's like Australia's TV bathtub! Oh my gosh! Unbelievable! Named for a Briton! John Loki Baird! That's right! Oh my gosh. Unbelievable. Name for a Britain. John Ligye bed. That's right. And still nothing.

Culture here. You guys are very easy to actually it was easier in easier in Edinburgh to just go, oh, the English. Five minutes standing ovation. Very easy stuff. I really did let you have it over there. Oh, the fuck yeah. And they'd be like, yeah, fucking kill them. Which is what I'm here to do.

So. Lock the doors. Okay I'm gonna keep going. Okay. Let me know if you want me to shut up for a bit. Um how will I do that because I've been trying for nine years. Well I could go to the bar and then I can't talk. No that actually makes you talk more. It's not worth it in the long run. So they arrest Greg. And he said to the police, look, I had nothing to do with the bombing, so I'm a middleman, you know?

So there's a guy called Detective Oppenshaw. Great name. He wanted to know who had hired him to do the job. Greg said the bloke's name was Benny. And he said, he told me what the setup was and all I had to do was pick up the money. So police traced Greg's scuba gear back to a burglary that had happened earlier that year in Jarvis Bay. How do you do that? How do you trace what?

So like some scuba gear had been stolen and a shot reported it stolen and then the exact And he goes, what? So like some scuba gear had been stolen and a shop reported it stolen. And then the exact same stuff turned up on Greg. And then they went, oh, hang on. I thought it might have been a QR code or something. I traced it back. You're trying to do a 10 episode and win one episode. Yeah, I'm trying.

You're trying to cut all that shit out. There's a lot, to be honest. A little too much, okay? Anyway, so this is Greg's account of events, right? Cause we're like, Greg, Greg, Greg, what have you been up to? You naughty boy. So, Greg admitted to knowing what was in the bag

and that it was related to the bombings, but he didn't want to say the name of who was in charge of the crime. He told police he was approached by the mastermind at a nightclub and told there was a job going down in Sydney. He said, my mom's is Carrie Anne. Do you want to come back and party with me?

It's that easy. So he hitchhiked. I'm pretty sure that happened. It was a big night. That part we believe. Somebody saying, do you want to come back to my place? Let's believe them. Well, I mean, you know, I've been around a long time. It's bad if it happened once or twice.

Okay, maybe not. So Greg hitchhiked his way down from Queensland and slept the night before in Hyde Park hiding his scuba gear in a bush. Police didn't buy it and according to their reports he cracked under their interrogation and eventually told the truth. Seems like they didn't have to put much pressure on them. I don't think that's true. Okay!

He told the police he'd been hired by a man called Benny for the ransom collection only. Benny dropped him at the park and when it got dark he got into the water and swam into the wharf. The reason Greg got caught is because the ransom bag was still tied to the wharf pylon and there'd been some contention over whether the bag was meant to be untied or not. Really interesting fun stuff. So I think it's basically like it should have been loose and he should have just been able to grab it and go, but it was sort of tied there. So that's why he was there sort of trying to watch on it. Yeah. Ultimately, the goal of the police was to follow whoever collected the ransom in order to find whoever

was behind it. Assuming correctly that whoever collected the ransom wouldn't be the big wig, you know, they send out, send out minions to do it. So regardless, the ransom wouldn't be the big wig. You know, they sent out minions to do it. So regardless, the bag being tied to the pylon ultimately led to Greg's arrest. And according to Greg, he was meant to stay underwater, collect the untied bag, then go back to Hyde Park and Benny was going to pick him up. And then Benny would take the money to Queensland. And he refused to give Benny's last name name but this is how he described him. He was 37 to 40 years old, 5 foot 9, olive skin. Yeah I'd kill to be 5 foot 9. Dark hair, kill for that too. Dark hair, length, not greasy, is a weird detail. Medium length but not greasy. He had a solid build and a barrel chest like a weightlifter.

I'm back in. Why is he refus- he's refusely of the surname. Yeah, but he's giving- Like he knows it, but he's giving such specific details. Yeah. What a weird way to go about it. It is strange. There's more.

Benny was always well-dressed. He liked gold jewelry. And sunny days. And sunny days. That's very funny. He drove a mustard-colored 1979 Ford Falcon sedan. That's a beautiful automobile. And Greg thought that Benny was

from Sicily or maybe Yugoslavia. Easy mistake to make. Very specific spot in Italy. Sicily? Or? He said he met him working in various pubs and clubs. He denied having anything to do with the bombing saying he was just the collections man. Police wanted to test this, so they told him that they'd been informed that if the courier was arrested, the bomber would remotely detonate bombs at four Woolworth stores, which is true, they had been threatened of that. And Greg was quick to deny this, which police believed, they sort of thought, well, only someone that's more involved with the crimes would have an opinion on whether there'd be more bombs. If you've literally just been sent to collect stuff and somebody and the police said, well, we've been threatened with more, you might go like, Oh, I don't know anything about that.

But Greg's like, no, no, no, no, no, no more bombs. So they're like, I think you're more in on it than you're saying. Greg said, I haven't said any, I mean, they, I mean, oh. Yeah. Greg's not bright. So he was eventually arrested for trying to steal the money and diamonds and was denied bail and remanded in custody as his previous warrant meant he was a serious flight risk. While he was in jail, police got more information about his movements and what really happened

in the lead up to his arrest. And it mentioned that he'd been in Melbourne in September of that year. So they searched his flat that he'd stayed in in Melbourne and found a piece of paper that said, the Greg file. Is that his nickname? And references to $1 million. So they're like, oh, I reckon you're a bit more involved. So while Greg was in jail,

Woolworths agonized over whether to open stores due to the new bomb threats. They did for about two hours and then they changed their minds. They called a press conference, they called the police and a thousand police officers descended on the 250 Woolworth stores across the state and evacuated everyone.

So there's quite a lot of panic. Greg, while he was in jail, the media were reporting that police had failed to get the head criminal and police were criticized by politicians for an amateurish tactics that put people in danger. There was a frenzy to find Benny. They released his description to the public and media reminded people that a 250,000 reward was offered for the identity of the head honcho leading to lots and lots of leads. None of them all that helpful. That's where we are! Can I just double check, is that air conditioning, does that work? Is it everyone hot or just me? I'm okay. Don't worry about it then. Thank you so much for checking. So the big question at this point is who the fuck is

Benny? Who the fuck is Benny? I'm wondering. Who the fuck is Benny? Eventually police confront Greg about the information they have that they found against him, including that the scuba gear was stolen and he admits that Benny is made up. What? The bit where he said he loves the sun? What? This guy should write books. He loves gold jewellery. Oh my god, he's a novelist.

That was real to me. Benny is not real. Really? I'm so sorry. But he still refuses to tell them anything more and police keep trying to get information out of him. While this is all happening, police are gathering more and more information and even though they've now found out that Benny doesn't exist, they have started to narrow in on who they believe

is in charge of the bombings. They were going really hard, they were tracking the stolen scuba gear and they were interviewing anyone who knew Greg and they were trying to link Greg directly to the bombing and they found blue insulation tape on his abandoned underwater propulsion unit, the tape that was also found in one of the Woolworths bathrooms. It feels tenuous, but they really hold on to this. Through these interviews, they discovered that in December of that year, Greg had met a man named Larry Danielson at a local bowls club and they'd later lived together. Through their investigation, they were able to discover that Larry had previously worked

at the surf shop that Greg's stolen scuba gear had come from. So the police decide, maybe we need to have a chat to this Larry fella too. So Larry Danielson, he was not a career criminal but a career musician. Same thing am I right? I don't know what that means. He was born Keith Edward Bradford in 1932. Keith.

And he was a New Zealander and he dreamed of playing rugby with the All Blacks. After an injury, he developed an interest in music. Apparently, he drove into town one day to buy a book about music. And on the way back, he ran into a sheep and injured his leg further. And that is the most New Zealand thing I've ever heard of. I thought he tripped over a sheep. He was driving. OK. OK. I was thinking when he injured his leg, life. He tripped over a sheep. He was driving. Okay.

Okay. When he injured his leg I didn't think tripped on him as well. They are everywhere. He became a pretty good musician and after graduating high school and according to him he moved to Argentina and then England. In amongst travelling and being a musician, Larry told the story of the time he was apparently playing cards with famous actor Peter O'Toole, making him late for a read through of Lawrence Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having was there he tried his hand at being a pop singer. He even released an album called Travel and Music, which you can still listen to on Spotify today. So for the journey home. That is a that's a classic thing, though, isn't it? When you go to Papa New Guinea, it's sort of like the Hollywood of music.

Yeah. You're like, I want to make it big as a musician. I'm moving to Papanuket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When he eventually moved back to Australia in 1977, he started running a live music venue and cinema called Flix in Manly in Sydney. The venue hosted a few classic Australian bands in that late seventies era, including Sky Hooks, Midnight Oil, Cold Chisel, a few of your faves. Larry wasn't the best venue runner and often didn't pay bands what they were owed.

Apparently he tried to skip out on paying Rose Tattoo one night and ended up with a punch in the mouth. He was a bit of a local character. People recall Larry driving around town in his red Maserati, although sometimes people say yellow Ferrari and they're very different. The colors, I don't know about the cars but so he had a sports car I reckon at some point. Apparently the venue was pretty loose with

ID and it was a great place for underage drinkers and Larry just paid off the cops to stay out of trouble. He owed a lot of people a lot of money and Flix eventually went bust in early 1980. Ah so maybe he needs cash. After this he ended up in a sort of halfway house where he eventually lived with Greg. So police ask Larry to come to the station which he agrees to and they begin asking him lots of questions. Does he know Greg? Yes. What were his movements on key dates in the investigation? He says his memory is hazy, but he gives them his whereabouts for all the dates, including times he and Greg drove to Sydney together,

and when they type up his statement to sign, he refuses because he couldn't be 100% certain on the details. The cops spent a bit of time with Larry over the next 24 hours going back to his house to question him over some things that didn't add up, including his whereabouts on the 22nd of December, the day that the letter was sent, and two days before the third bombing. One of the cops knew Larry from his Flix days and somehow thought it would be a good idea for him and his partner to get drunk with Larry,

where he got annoyed and threatened to turn in one of Larry's other associates if Larry didn't give them more info. And that feels like good use of police resources. Nothing came of this encounter, but when the police got back to Sydney, they decided to listen to the recordings made of the phone calls that had been made during the bomb threats. They decided they needed to record the next phone call they had with Larry and the recordings were then sent to a phonetics expert to do a comparison. So they think Larry's the one making the phone call with the bad accent.

He was kept under surveillance during this time and on the 29th of January police took Larry to the station for further questioning and while he was at the station his house was being searched. Evidence was collected. Larry was under intense scrutiny and presented with evidence including the blue tape linking him to the ransom drop-off and the bombings. The same tape that linked Greg to the crimes. That pesky blue tape. It actually was integral to the case. Yeah. When I said it the first time, I could feel everyone go, who the fuck? And you're right. And I feel that still, but the tape is apparently important.

He was then informed that he would be formally charged and appear in court and he was refused bail. He was held in the same jail, but separate sections as Greg. They stayed there for six weeks before their trial. The trial finally began on the 22nd of March, 1982. This is two years or like 18 months later, both Greg and Larry pled not guilty. They faced 20 years in jail if they were found guilty. While awaiting trial, Larry applied for bail on multiple occasions but was always denied. The police had overwhelming evidence that the two men had conspired to extort money from Woolworths and detonated the three bombs. Greg's defense was that he was just a man for hire. Larry claimed that he'd been stitched up by police

and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Lawyers argued against evidence like the recordings of Mr. Bridge being made illegally. Still funny, Mr. Bridge. Or that the composite images looked nothing like either man and unreliable witnesses and a lack of transcripts from some of the key interviews. They've got nothing.

There's no case here. Not guilty. That's why I always get Matt to represent me in court. Stop wasting our time. The prosecution, Your honor. They're taking the piss. Let's look you and I know this isn't going anywhere. I'll take you out for lunch. How about that? Let's call it a day. Put her there. Are you going to arm wrestle? Yeah. No, I'm doing this. Whoa!

That's how, yeah, that's how I normally talk to judge. When the fuck did you guys make up a handshake without me? Um, no comment. Play the fifth, play the fifth. It's bullshit. We don't have that here. We don't either. Okay. So basically there's a lot of circumstantial evidence from witnesses. It's not looking too good for Larry and Greg. What?

The blue tape. That's fucking nothing. Less than nothing. I don't think you'd be on their side. It's interesting. Why would, I mean, blue tape is, I mean sure, bit of a coincidence, but not enough to put a man away for 20 years. Your Honor, I beseech you, if you have any doubt, you have to acquit.

And in this case, your honor, I've got doubt coming out of the freaking eyeballs. Okay, you with me? And he's nodding. He's gone, honestly, yeah, but they make me do this. I get it, brother. Can I? together brother. While Larry was repeatedly requesting bail while awaiting trial, Greg had other ideas. An old fashioned escape. What a guilty man trying to escape. I ask you that, your honor. Surely that's a man who is craving the freedom he surely deserves. An affable and intimidating man, Greg had made some friends in jail.

They respected him for his crimes and he had connections on the outside. Yeah you're alright Greg. The plan? Greg's connections will come as visitors to the jail with bags of clothes with hidden sawn off shotguns. So? Cause who's checking big bags of stuff that comes into prisons? It's the 80s.

They're not checking anything. They're like, yeah, cool. Bringing a gun. What do you got there? Clothes, sawed off shotgun? Come on in. Come on in. Thank you very much.

But before this could happen, he was taken to a different jail. He was moved. His breakout plot had been foiled by snitches. I don't know whose side you guys were on. Did anyone die on the bombings? No. We're on their side. So he's now in paramount a jail waiting to be called up for trial and he's earned the nickname Mr Woolworths. So prisoners are worse at coming out with nicknames. So it's the 10th of April 1982, it's 10 a.m. and Greg is seen in the visitor auditorium. 90 minutes later, during the daily head count and general checks, Greg was nowhere to be found.

Police and prison staff searched for him. It took them two days to even consider that he'd escaped because they were so sure that was impossible. So they're like, he's probably just in the loo. He'll turn up. Isn't that a crazy attitude to have? He's around here somewhere. It's a big prison. He'll get hungry and he'll come back. Two days later they're like,

fuck, he might have escaped. Huh. So they come up with a theory that between 10am and 12.30, he must have cut off his hair, shaved his beard, and managed to walk out with other visitors. Just wandered on out. The first sign that he definitely escaped was a carjacking on Easter Sunday. The woman recognized him from his mug

shot and he was even wearing his prison clothes. It's nice that this is both a Christmas and an Easter special. Covered all bases. So the police are absolutely baffled. Meanwhile Larry has been sentenced to 20 years in prison. Greg has also been sentenced, but he's still on the loose. Then on the 17th of May, 1982, 17 months after the first Woolworth's bombing, another bomb goes off at the Woolworth store in Liverpool in southwest Sydney. No one's hurt, luckily, and the damage is minimal. But with Greg on the run, the media and everyone wants to know, is this his handiwork?

But I don't understand why. Why would he do it now? Yeah. A photo of Greg is released. It's an old photo showing him clean shaven. And he was recognized as a man who'd worked across Queensland and surface paradise. A nervous but affable man known as Noel Stratford or John McIntosh or a number of other names as he made his way through various hospitality jobs. By June police were closing

in on Noel slash John aka Greg. It had been 10 weeks since he escaped and with some stolen IDs he was close to obtaining a passport ready to leave the country for good. But the cops had other ideas and descended on his apartment one evening. He looked completely different to his photos and he had weed on him, which gave the cops even more of a reason to arrest him.

Just had some drugs on him. Good stuff. Oh boy. This guy. Innocent as I am a man here today, Your Honor. You couldn't think of a single thing about yourself. Other than you exist in this room. Honestly, am I wearing pants? Please, I can't tell. I've been having a bit of Greg's gear.

And you are a butterfly though, right? Yeah. Thank you. In so many ways, yes. Thank you, Your Honor. So they have arrested Greg. I fade a bit when I've had a few beers and then stop. If anyone is going past the bar.

From your station, who's seated position? Jess wouldn't let me do it, so I'm just wondering if I can manifest it. I have two minutes. Please just let me fucking go. You're gonna make it. Let me go! So he's been arrested. He pleads guilty. He's extradited to New South Wales. At the end of July, he's back in court to receive his sentencing. The same as Larry, 20 years with nine years non parole. Right? So you would think that that would be the end of it. But in November, just four months later, Greg tried to escape again. It's getting up to Christmas season. I'm son, I think he's Santa.

I've never seen the two of them in the same place. This time he was caught before he got past the outside wall, so it didn't go as well this time. So we're getting some sympathetic auls over here. I really don't know where you guys stand. In the late 80s, this is just a bit of this is the aftermath, right, but just a bit of context as well. In the late 80s, New South Wales had really overcrowded prisons, and it was a political hot topic. As a result, a lot of prisoners who were on good behavior in prison were having their non-parole sentences reduced. So in March of 88 it was announced that Larry would be let out of prison just six years into his nine-year non-parole period. No one was happy about it but he was he was let out and he was deported to New Zealand immediately. I imagine someone was happy about it. Did I get Larry's opinion? Did I get Larry's opinion? I don't wanna go!

There's gotta be a roast ham for lunch! Oh no! There's so many sheep in New Zealand! So Larry took on a new name, Peter Fisher. He got married, he continued to play music, and he even wrote a number of books, which he self-published. He eventually passed away Yes. What did that guy say? No idea. Don't understand their funny accents. It's a beautiful accent. Beautiful. Beautiful. Two months after Larry was released, Greg was also let out despite his escape from prison and then attempting to escape again. They let him out of prison. He'd served less than 60 years of his sentence. People were pretty furious,

including the incoming New South Wales Liberal Party. What are they doing? He led a pretty quiet life, but in 2005, he faced court over a stabbing incident. It's pretty grim too. It's pretty- We might have backed her on horsey. Pretty full on. Stabbed a guy 20 times. It's pretty grim too, it's pretty... We might have backed her on horsey. Ha ha ha.

Pretty full on. Stabbed a guy 20 times. Ohhhhh. Oh but we all love Greg, don't we? We all love Greg you sickos. No, no, no. Well what we all think is the system let him down. Ha ha ha.

To be fair Jess, you would have been pissed if you'd only been stabbed the person 19 times. That's true. That is true. I have a weird thing with numbers. To be fair Jess, you would have been pissed if you'd only stabbed the person 19 times. That is true. I have a weird thing with numbers. I imagine he fears and 20. Oh I lost count. I'll have to start again. Trying to get it in the same stab holes. You guys love this guy. I mean, there would be a way to count.

No. What about, put the knife down. He's pissing blood. You reckon you can just come on, Matt, get your head out of your ass. To be honest, I've never been in that situation. He was a quitter of multiple stepings. He was a quitter. We knew he didn't know it. You alright?

I'm sorry. Honestly, I am full of Christmas cheer. God blesses everyone. I had a little paragraph to like, bring up the mood a bit, but I don't think I need it. I think we can bend on he was acquitted! Yay! Doesn't he? Because he didn't do it, right? Yeah, sure.

Give it up for Just Boat and the Christmas Hymns! Yay! Merry Christmas! Wow! Wow! I think that might be, I think that's our 10th annual Christmas episode. Really? Yeah, and it gets Christmasy every year. Christmasy every year! Every year, yeah. That one was, that really got me in the mood for Christmas.

Can't wait to see my mum! I'm so excited! I'm so excited! Every year. It's a one-two couple. Christmas, yay! Every year, yeah. That one was, uh, that really got me in the mood for Christmas. Can't wait to see my mum! Tell her this story. Fun Christmas conversation. She'd be impressed by the fact that that guy dated Carrie Anne. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mum loves Carrie Anne.

Yeah. All mums do. All mums love Carrie Anne. All of CAC. Can't believe you guys don't have cack. Oh my gosh. So anyway, we did it. Great work. We did it. Another Christmas episode done. Another wonderful live episode done. We couldn't have done it without you wonderful people. Thank you so much. We don't have to wrap up because we're about to like as far as the listeners at home This is gonna be just a quick jump. Everyone's gonna go grab a drink now and we'll be back in a second

Is that ringing in my ears only? No, that's okay Well, we should have said yes Damnit What are you talking about old man? So yes, we are going to have a quick little break now. The bar will be open and we'll be back with everyone's favorite section of the show just after this. So we'll see you soon.

Thank you so much. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether it's your first ever website or your business is expanding, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website and engage with your audience. Like the idea of a business expanding, like it's out of control. Yeah. It's like, oh God, oh no.

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and start receiving payments right away. Yes, please. I'll take two. Head to squarespace.com slash do go on for a free trial and to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com slash do go on. And now it's time for everyone's favorite section of the show where we thank some of

our fantastic supporters who've shown up on Patreon.com slash do do applaud. This is the first time we've done it live and you know, who knows how this will go. Jump on! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! This is the first time we've done it live and, you know, who knows how this will go, but I think it's built for an audience. Oh yeah, oh yeah. If you guys like hearing names, we've got a section to move.

And if you don't like it, the bar's open. Yeah, the bar will remain open. Yeah, have some fun. We're basically in the Triptych Club right now. Yes, this is how I've always pictured it. So if you don't belong in here, there's the door. So yeah, the way this section works is we thank some of our great supporters who've been with us for a while.

Some even more than that, some less. Some longer than we've even existed. Honestly. So there's a bunch of different levels what are some of the things you can get if you get involved on the Patreon bonus episodes you hear about live shows before anyone else some of the people you may have done that discounts to those shows you get to be part of our beautiful Facebook group What a lovely part of the internet. It's nice, isn't it?

It's very nice. Nice. It is the nicest corner of the internet. I put that quite well then, I think. Um. So yes. And uh. But the first thing we like to do is

for people on the Sydney, Schoenberg level or above, they get to give us a fact, quota, or a question in a section of the show. I actually think it has a jingle. Go somewhere like this. Fact, quote or a question in a section of the show. I actually think it has a jingle go somewhere like this. They also remembered to sing. I was like, I've talked to them. So the way this section works is a great supporters get to give us a fact, quote or

question or a brag or a suggestion or really whatever they like. I normally read out one, two, three or four. Tonight I'm going to read out four. Why not? The first one, I don't know where any of these people are from. So let's see if, oh actually I know where he's from, but we'll. All right, so the first one this week comes from Sophie skilling you into not Sophie doesn't matter and

was like they also get to give themselves a title and Sophie's title is Sydney 2000 ambassadors girlfriend for specific Sydney 2000 a great girlfriend. Oh, very specific. Sydney 2000, a great time for our beautiful nation. My gosh. You should have been there. The best Olympics.

Ever. For Australians. Yeah. We did really well. Sophie's asking a question, writing. Well, I should also say I don't read these out till I read them out, which is just excusing me for not being super good at reading. And now he also has to battle tech. So Sophie writes, Hi, gang, I am drunk.

I met you all the other night at the Embra show and you were very lovely. Oh my god. But I'm worried. Imagine if she was like, and you were all kind of cunts. You're all very lovely, but I'm worried that I did a bad job at talking. No, that's our thing. So sorry about that, LOL. Luckily I made my boyfriend Max come with me.

Oh my god, that's a bit... I guess the end of the ride started off good, but jeez Louise. Is this a brag as framed as a question but my word holy moly getting to know you very well uh luckily i'm my boyfriend max come with me and he had his sydney 2000 olympics jumper on well that'll do it. That'll do it. That's enough for me.

But you can leave your Sydney 2000 jacket on. I remember seeing this jacket. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I do. It was like real hard of the trick. Came up at the end of the show and I was like, oh my god, Sydney 2000. And then I was having a fun time. We're all there. He said, oh, she said, uh, you all enjoyed the jumper.

One by one, we all go. We all came together to one of this jumper. I'm so glad we're getting a chance to do that. So one of this jumper, my question is, do you have a piece of clothing that also acts as a conversation piece? I and Sophie, as I always ask question writers to do, has answered her own question. I have a fluffy green jacket that makes me look like I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming. If you know what I mean.

Anyway, big love XOXO. Oh, gossip girl. Oh my gosh. Conversation starter, fashion pieces. Basically everything you boys wear. Oh, yeah. People are fashionistas. Honestly, I've got a Vegemite hat. It'll be one of my favorite hats. It's yellow. It's corduroy.

And corduroy. I was in Brisbane a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't believe how many people said, love that hat. It wasn't a conversation starter, but it was a real compliment startup. Same thing to me. Yeah. Yeah. Mine would be, and I think a lot of people in the audience would understand this, anytime I wear a dress with pockets. Yes.

That's a conversation star. That's a lot of, yes. Yeah. It's the best. People just go, huh, pockets. No, it's usually, somebody goes, that's a nice dress. You go, thanks, it has pockets. Oh, so you're starting the conversation.

You don't get it. And that's okay, but you don't get it. I've got pocket privilege. Nearly everything I own has pockets. Must be nice. It really is. I think I might be wearing one of my conversations. This is my X-Files t-shirt.

I know there's a few people over here can't see it though. Oh, so you can't see it. We're all here to give some congratulations. Yay! Mulder, Scully. That is the creepiest. What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing? How is it? Good. So you all have a good look now. And I met a lovely chap just in the break there who came up and said, I've also got an X-Files t-shirt. So is that you? Yeah brother!

Yeah! Love it. So um. Sit down! So it's a conversation. What are you doing? That's a perfect example. Yeah!

So funny for a man. What are you doing? That was a perfect example. So funny for a man wearing fake elf ears that his conversation starter is a t-shirt. But honestly, look at Scully there. She's breaking. What's the old fella's name again? Skinner. Mitch Palenchi. Skinner and Scully? Like, fuck. Are they running out of ideas?

I didn't get far through the phone book, did they? Topical. Oh my God, the question was from Skilling as well. What could it all mean? I don't know, Mordor. Man, this is fucking the best. I really wish we could just do this and not that anyway. What do you reckon? Thanks to this is it.

This is. Thank you. Thank you so much, Sophie, for that. Next one comes from James Edwards. Thank you. Thank you so much, Sophie, for that. Next one comes from James Edwards. OK, cool, gay uncle of the pod. You look fabulous. They're just jealous. I needed to hear that. Thank you, James.

And this might be the first time I've had one of these. It's not a fact, quote, a question or a suggestion. It's a wish fulfillment. Oh, that's interesting. Yes. And interesting how I pronounce it to fulfill. When in doubt, just be like, that's how we say it. Yeah, that's just an accent thing. Yeah. Everyone says I like that back home.

Fulfillment fulfillment. James Wright's high gang. cool are we were in a gang remember those wishes you made when I appeared as a genie during the fat quarter question at the end of Michelle Braziers Doctor Who guest report yeah of course yeah I don't remember the report I just read that yeah I think I speak for all of us when I say no James anyway Anyway, he's going to recap it by looks good. He says, well, here's how they turned out. Michelle, you wish that all dogs be as big as Shetland ponies for Bruce and Eva, her two dogs to live healthily and happily as long as you and Tim are

living. That's well, because we said that we wish the dogs would live forever and then we're like, oh, that's bleak because then we would die and the dogs. So the dogs will live as long as we live. Okay. So you're killing the dogs in a humane way. Yeah. My dog goes with me and to always have enough money to solve your problems, but not too much that you start creating problems for other people. However, herds of stampeding giant dogs rampaged through towns and cities, causing huge amounts of damage to property,

leading to you having to pay massive amounts in compensation. Oh no, Michelle, you didn't think it through. Aww. James, this is kind of feeling like you're a bit of a killjoy. I don't know what I wished for, but I'm scared. I have a bad feeling he might be monkey pouring us.

Oh no. Dave. What did I wish for? You wish to have the ability to teleport anywhere in the world with anyone you want. Oh. To have a card that demands any bakery you go into must give you a free pie. Yeah, that's right. And for Humphrey, your dog, to live as long as you.

We all really jumped on that train. I think I have a feeling I know what mine's going to be. As soon as we heard that one we're like, oh, I want that one. However, you can never teleport to or from the same place twice. The pies you receive are all made by Mrs Mrs Lovett from Sweeney Todd. Humphrey is now the size of a Shetland pony due to Michelle's wish and you can't afford to feed him. You go broke and end up homeless.

Would I just give him a Sweeney Todd pie? Yeah, James. I look forward to in a few months when we've forgotten this. Would I just give him a sweetie Todd pie? Yeah, James. I look forward to in a few months when we've forgotten this. Will you update us again? Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's grim. Jess. Oh no.

You wish to be able to sing. You also wish for free business class flights on a real plane. class flights on a real plane and for $10,000 to appear in your bank account every month however you are now a very well paid immortal singing business class seat. Guys, he's as old as the wind. Give him a chance. However, you are now a very well paid immortal singing business class seat. You can fly business class forever. Yeah, so I might have hit the emphasis a bit wrong on that. That's bullshit.

Well, I assume mine's going to go well. Matt, you wish for world peace. Oh my God. What am I lying? You guys must have felt like real pieces of shit. No, I'm still disappointed I didn't add the dog thing in there. You wish for world peace, for everyone to be happy. I am so cute.

And for the Saints to win a Premiership, little something for me. However, the Saints winning a Premiership is such a massive improbability that it causes a breakdown of society. Resulting in World War Three. Everyone dies in nuclear warfare. He's really skipped over the world peace part. Well, that would mean that you are the reigning Premiers forever. Oh, my God.

I will take that deal. He said, oh, so sorry. Looking forward to seeing you in London much like James. I'm not sure I'm looking forward to seeing James. Thanks so much, James. Next one comes from Sophie Tudor. Who needs an I? I really like the people around Sophie pointed as if we didn't go to pub trivia with Sophie last night.

Yeah, we know. Yeah, she was the only one there when Siraj told us he was going to Poundland today. So I'm too much of a gentleman to ask what Sophie's been up to. Okay, she very clearly said not that. Sophie has a title of group mom stop sticking your tongues out at each other. Sophie's got a brag slash suggestion writing I got my nose pierced. I've wanted it done for years and I've always been talking, talked out of it. And then spent a while thinking, I'm too old for that now. I also got my, oh, that's it, that. Again, I've done that emphasis.

I also got my first three tattoos this year. So my suggestion is, do the thing. That thing you've always wanted to do, make it happen. It's not too late. Yes. So that does imply that there's no regrets then. Because there's nothing in there said you're happy to have done it. It's a beautiful message, but the thing that I have always wanted to do is pierce my nose and you told me it fucking hurts. So I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing the thing. I was going to piss your nose. Yeah, that makes... I'm like hard for a man. Really brilliant for a woman to be able to... Piss your nose? Piss your nose. Piss your nose. Shut the fuck up!

They really have no culture here. The final one of these tonight comes from Paul Mellor. And Paul's the one I you where he's from. He's from Oldham near Manchester. Paul has the title, Santa's Little Helper. Yeah, you pricks. Yeah, you booed. Yeah, you boot says it'll help you happy. Not good on your poles. Got a question writing. Have you? Have you been good

boys and girls? And what do you want for Christmas? Topical? No. No. No. And what do you want for Christmas? Oh. Topical. I don't know what Christmas is. I really want a dash cam. I really want a dash cam. Dave, it's pronounced Dachshund. I'll take one of them too.

I thought mine was boring. Yeah. No, sorry, I'm being so sincere. Somehow you've overtaken me in old age. I asked for one last year and was ignored by the family. What else, you want a leaf blower? Yeah, I've already got a leaf blower. I'm such a dad now.

I want an eye, yeah, okay. All right, I was like, oh no, I can only think of something sincere and that's not very interesting. And then you said dash cam. I know it's so bad. I want a Dyson Airwrap. Oh!

It's pretty fun stuff. What does that mean? You don't get it, babe. Come on. Yes, that's why I asked. I probably want world peace. World peace. Insufferable.

To me this is a time of year for giving. Thank you so much to Paul, Sophie, James and Sophie. We of course are not done in many ways. We're only just beginning. Next up we thank nine for some reason, oh it's because we used to do three each, but we're thanking nine of our other great patron supporters, anyone on the shout out level or above. Yeah. And Jess, you know when we come in with a bit of a game

based on the topic of the day? Yeah, we're gonna give them elf names. Yeah. All we could do, which store they'll bomb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Store bombing. All right. What? I've got the iPad so I'll read out the names and you two want to rotate between. If anybody's got any grudges against any particular retail chains feel free to let us know. Be specific. Primer! Wash your mouth! Primer? I mean address.

You can't, we can't bomb them all. There's so many. All right, yeah, let's do it. All right, first up. I'm going to go all Australian ones that they don't understand. I don't know where these people are from exactly, because I've not heard of the place, but there's four GBs in here, so let's see if anyone's in and I'd imagine. First up, and I apologize, normally I can get away with it in the studio, but pronouncing

these cities wrong, I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. I'm going to go with Australia. heard the place but there's four GBs in here so let's see if anyone's in and I'd imagine. First up and I apologize, normally I can get away with it in the studio but pronouncing these cities wrong and English people do not spell things

correctly but I'll do my best. Firstly from Porthcall in BGE? In Great Britain? Well you don't know I'm wrong then. Do you know what BG is? Based on his name it's probably in Wales. It's Reese! Reese. Um... Curries.

Is that a place? Electronic store, right? Curries? Electronic store? What the hell is this place? It's. I know it's an electronic store. What the hell is this place? Curry's. It's all topsy turvy.

What the heck? Makes no sense at all. Curry's. Oh, next one, much closer to home. From Hawthorne in Melbourne in Australia, it's Alex Swan. Alex Swan is bombing Bed Bath and Table. It's real. Yeah I told you I'm doing Australian ones.

They've got Bed Bath and Beyond. Yeah. No. No that's America. Yeah. Bath Storm. Bath Storm. Are you fucking kidding me?

That's amazing. I thought Australia took the dreams out of Bethlehem Beyond the Table, but bath store. That deserves to be bombed. That's hideous. Next up, Dave, from, I wanna say plate in Deutschland. It's probably not pronounced that plate in Deutschland, it's Pia. Pia, how about Debenhams? Oh, it's close down.

Yeah. Forgore it. What happened to this country? What did Debenham sell? Everything. Yeah, they had to narrow it down. They needed Gordon Ramsay to come in and fix up that menu. Just saw a few good things.

Well, dammit. Next up. Oh, interesting. From address I know, can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moles. Who is it? Please and thank you Craig DelGamo. Hey wow. Hey you, fuck off, are you here? Is that you Craig? Craig?

Craig. Craig come on. Craig, come on. Craig DelGamo. But if Craig was to theoretically, of course, Craig, come on. Craig Delgano. But if Craig was to theoretically, of course, these are all in theory. We're not denying any of these, any coincidences. Put that on the record.

Purely that, Poundland. Poundland! They know what they did. Next up, from London in GB. It's Olivia George. Olivia George, her local pret a mom joke. You're going to bomb. You love pret. No, Dave's not doing it.

Oh, yeah. Dave's devastated. He loves a pret a mom joke. Yeah, there's only 4,999 other stores in this city. No, we would. Dave, we're going to have a pret munch. We'll just get her posh cheddar's roll now. Fuck a lot of posh cheddar. I think about that when I'm not in this country.

I think about that posh cheddar. There was one day we had two in one day. I don't regret it. Dagon, Dagon, losing the people. Talk about Greggs. I would never bomb. Greggs will not be bombed on this show, okay? I'm not going to be bombed on this show.

I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going to be bombed on this show. I'm not going it. David losing the people. Talk about Greggs. I would never bomb... Greggs will not be bombed on this show.

Greggs will not be bombed on this show. Guess what I'm going to choose next. Can anyone explain this to me? Olivia George is from London in WFT in Great Britain. But Olivia George is from London in WFT in Great Britain, but this next person from London in ISL Great Britain, is that a different London? Islington, what's waft?

And that, is that a different London? Or is London so big that it splits over two different counties? Yeah. Yeah, just a few more. First, London and Greater London. Oh, cop that regular London. That is rough. That is rough. I'd change my name.

I'd change my name to like really good, out there original thing. Even Greater London. Splendid London. Splendid London. And who is it? From London in Islington at Great Britain, it's André Présin. Oh, very exotic. André Présin.

Don't do it, Bob. Don't do what? Don't. Don't you dare. Don't do what? Don't you dare, Bob. I don't know what you're talking about. Little.

Good. Good. From Montreal and Quebec in Canada, it's Marco Petrella. Marco Petrella. Do you know any Canadian stores? Tim Hortons. Are you Canadian? Oh no, it's just me booing. There was a cheer and a boo.

Are you Canadian? Why are we booing? I've only just discovered it. 10 meters down the road there's another one. What's up? We're going to get one in Keighley. Really? Well that's the one I've bombed.

So I think what you're trying to say is you were gonna get one. I'm gonna bomb it. I'm fading real fast. I was just going to say you are reaching your peaks. A couple left from Sheffield in SHF. I reckon that's also Sheffield in Great Britain. Thank you Izzy. Izzy.

Tesco Express. A few people here rely on that. What did you say? Did you say, I love Tesco. Oh, that's where I got to get my bits. My bits. OK, I personally would use bits in a very different context. Yeah, it's Pam Lynn. What does that mean? What does bits mean? You get your bits. That does not help explain it at all.

You just said the word again. Get a bit of hummus, milk, just the essentials really. Dave's going as well. I think David's settling in nicely. We're losing him. Yeah. To a better Dave. To the mother country. Yeah. Finally.

Get, get, get, get, get, get. From Berwyn Heights in Maryland, in the United States, it's City Aperture. Okay. I think that might be like an architecture firm or something. City aperture. City aperture. So America. Yeah. So an American one. Yeah. Can you think of any?

Do they do chains? Now, Walmart rules. What about there's a lot of there's a lot of ammo in there, too. It would really go up. What about what? Yeah, OK. Too many to think of. My brain's shutting down a bit.

Five guys. That is the biggest feminist move you could do. Thank you so much to City, Issy, Marco, Andre, Olivia, Craig, Pia, Alex and Reese and the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptych Club. Dave explain what that means. This is our Hall of Fame our clubhouse where people have been supporting the show for three consecutive years or above in the shout out level. We've already given them a Shadot nickname a few years back, but for now we induct them into our Hall of Fame. They come on in and there's everything in there.

There's music, there's food, there's drinks, there's air hockey, there's ice hockey, there's all sorts of stuff and I want you to never leave, but why would you want to ever leave? Lock the doors. Lock the doors. Yeah, there's everything you want in there. Def Leppard. Yeah, we've had that play before. So we've got three inductees this week. Now if you don't know, Jess is only behind the bar. Obviously tonight she has to be on the stage but Jess you're only behind the bar. You'll probably be heading over there later to make your cocktail for tonight. Well I was thinking what inspired me was the gel ignite um explosive in this so

what so I made I made um jelly shots. Oh fantastic. But every eighth one will explode. Hey I like those odds seven Seven out of eight. Fuck yeah. They're very hot. Hot jelly. It's very hot jelly. Just over the oven's broken. Do you understand now?

And Dave, you normally book a band for the after party? Yes, you're never going to believe it guys. I've been in talks with these gentlemen for many, many months. Wow. And I've just so happened to book Leeds' favorite songs. It's the Kaiser Chiefs. Whoa! Can you believe it?

Can you believe it? But they will be playing exclusively our parody versions of their songs that we've been writing on this tour. Because Matt, what did I say the other night? I mean, this is not public ready, but Dave said after we were going to do one of our first shows, he said, I propose a dinner. And I started singing Eps of the Tune of I Predict a Riot. And we've made a musical based on that.

We've started working in the Succulent Chinese Meal Man. Yeah. And we think it's going to be called Succulent Chinese Meal The Musical. The Musical. Yum yum yum yum yum yum. Yum yum yum yum yum. I propose a dinner. I propose a dinner.

What was the, what did you do with Ruby Ruby Ruby? Ruben Rubin Rubin? I wasn't ready, but we are. We're workshopping it. We're workshopping. I just want to make it very clear. I'm not involved. She's just sort of.

Yeah, even when we're like going through security or whatever, she drifts off. When we're having that conversation, I've been bringing it up with some of the some of the security members. Yeah. And they like it. I think we're getting a real ground swell of support for this. Ruben Ruben Ruben Ruben. What are some of the. Yum yum yum yum yum.

They're a band from the city. You heard of them? Oh, never miss a eat. Never miss a eat never miss it take a look take a look yeah that is good I don't understand why weird Al Yankovitch is so big it's easy all right so we've got three inductees. Is there anything else we have to do before we bring them in? No, well, basically, I try and give them a nickname. Jess tries to hype me up. You should stand up to do this.

But if we've got a crowd in tonight, it'd be great if you could also hype me and the people running in up if that's what you're doing. Can we get Dave standing up for this round? Thank you. If Dave's standing up, then I have to stand up because I have to hold his butt. Yeah, that's true. Oh no, I can do that like this.

I know. Yeah, you thought she was joking. There's nothing weird about this. This is actually, it's really supportive. This is our process. We are artists. So I'm going to go in the door, picture me up the stairs. Why are you swaying?

Pull out the velvet rope. This feels so right. It's very comforting, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Already at the end. Now I want to stop. Well, come on. Guys, I'm trying to do something really serious.

Yes. So there's been a long time for that moment. We're going to give it to him right now. Here we go. That sounded weird. OK. OK. That sounded weird.

So I'm going to read out a name. If you hear your name, charge on in. You're welcome in forever. You're not allowed to leave. And Dave is em seeing the night he's gonna hop up the crowd with some what I would call quite weak word play like it's quite labored I mean it's even worse than never meets an eight somehow and anyway that's just to temper expectations because you're

probably sitting here for the first time going this is gonna be fantastic So I'm gonna read out those three names Dave will hype up that person with the name We're weak word play then Jess will hop Dave up because he needs it. Yeah All right. Here we go. We ready first up All right, here we go. We ready. First up, welcome in. Oh no. Sucked. Sucked the absolute fuck in. Welcome in from Finnspang in Oostengutland. In a country starting with SE.

Is that Switzerland? Sweden. Please. Well, I mean, his name is the most Swedish thing ever. Please welcome in Tommy Svensson. Tommy Svensson, our Svensson out of Tencent, yeah! Yeah! Oh! That's awesome. How brutal is it to see that he actually is preparing?

He's looking at the same way. It's not actually on the top of his head. Yeah. He's always reading it. Um. Day, pick me up. Do you need me to get up? Yeah, go ahead. Um... S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s- I don't love every Karen, but I love Karen Evry! I love you. Yeah, Karen! This is genuinely the happiest I've ever seen you. And I was at your wedding.

This is a big moment. This is so good. It's a milestone. And finally, from Mount Barker in South Australia, please welcome in Alison Mearn. I Mearn to you Alison! Sorry, bonus double check. Did you say I Mearn to you? I said I Turn to you. Do you remember when Mel C had that song I turn to you? Yeah.

Yes you did. Thank you. So I was trying to do a bit of local, you know. I thought it was I, oh you were doing something about Burn. Oh and I thought Yearn. Oh I'm Yearn for you. Yeah. That's pretty good.

Welcome into the club. What an honor for you to have it happen at the first ever live episode, Alison, Karen and Tommy. And that brings us to the end of the episode. Anything we need to tell people before we go, Boppa? That we love them, that we appreciate them coming out

to see us live in person. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

And you can find us on social media, yadda yadda yadda, Suggest a topic, yadda yadda yadda, suggest a topic, yadda yadda yadda, Dave, boot this baby home! We'll be back next week, but until then, thank you so much and Merry Christmas! Yadda! Bye! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go we always hear six months later, oh you should come to Manchester, we were just in Manchester. We were just there but this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree, very very easy. It means we know to come to you and you also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, you will come to you, you also know that we're coming to you. We'll come to you. You come to us.

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