Do Go On - 478 - The Woolworths Christmas Bombings

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas! Let's celebrate with a very jolly topic indeed ... the story of a string of bombings in 1980 at multiple Woolworths stores in New South Wales...This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:00 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go On, the Krisp special live in... A riot. A riot. And the Australian podcast has started a riot this way.

That was fucking sick. That was powerful. But see, like, if that happened in Australia, you'd be like, ugh. It's usually like, oh, racist. But this was nice. This was powerful. I'm very sure it's the same over here. Oh, yeah, that's where we learned it from.

Yeah. We tried to get it going in Manchester last night, but it did not have the same ring to it. Manchester. Manchester. Leeds perfect for it, perfect. But at the bar shop next door, I did say, are you all familiar with pie minister?

So we, my favourite pie is Kevin. And you said saying, well, I got some really rough news for you. They're killing off Kevin. And in Manchester, they had already killed him off. So I said to them next door, I said, please sir can I get a Kevin and he said of course I said we couldn't in Manchester he said well we're better than Manchester and then he realized and he said actually no this is the last Kevin tonight is what's with the last night I ate the last

Kevin and he was delicious really so good and one of the best green rooms in the biz we were just in. It's the mop closet, but it is it feels about right for us. Beautiful spot to eat a pie. Yeah. But anyway, I've got quite a long report to get to. And the way the show is going to work tonight is we're going to do Jess's report, the Christmas topic. We're going to have a little halftime break and then we're going to come back and do for the first time ever

everyone's favourite section of the show live. Go on either way. You could have been like, we'll go, we'll just leave. It's okay. You absolutely can do that. Yeah, you can certainly leave at the break. Or you can get a drink and hang around for the best part of the show. Yeah, everyone's favorite part. So that's how we're going to do it. But we have a couple of questions we usually ask at the start of a live show.

We start by saying, give us a round of applause. If you've ever heard, do go on before. Which we always hope and assume that most of you have. But it leads to this question, which is give us a round of applause if you've never heard the show ever in your life. This is our sixth show. And at all six shows, one of those people who's never heard it before, front row. We are six from six. Who brought you here tonight?

And, okay, you've obviously listened for a while? Longer than we've existed. Incredible. You could be our biggest fan. Wow. He was there since before the beginning. That's fair. You just listened to me in my sleep.

And that's gross. And how long have you two been dating? Two and a half years. And in that two and a half years You haven't supported his hobby at all I don't want to break up a relationship here or not But I have to She's no good for you

Leave her Honestly Yeah I just I can't make it any more clear than that She doesn't love you And she doesn't deserve love Yeah Welcome to the show

I thought the bit where you said before that you were relieved when someone died was the worst thing that was before we saw the pod day I don't know well welcome thank you so much for giving us a go it's going to be awkward from the front row of you hate it yeah we'll know so basically okay this is our Christmas episode I put up four Christmas themed topics for the vote any Patreon's in for this and I want to remind

you you voted for this on this Christmas topic put up a few wholesome, really nice, really fun, lighthearted kind of topics. And my question is, which major Australian supermarket chain was the target of a series of bombings in 1980? I'm going to go with my heart. I used to work at Safeway slash Woolworths, is it? It is Woolworths, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is the story.

Can I? Do you mind? He's the feminist, it's okay. This is the story of the Woolworth's bombing. We've got some really cute, wholesome shit. And you fuckers went, bomb! It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Our Christmas episodes do have a history of been a bit grim. I kicked it off with our first live one ever, and that included quite a few women who went missing. Yeah, yeah. Well, we said they went missing. They were definitely dead. Yeah. At Christmas time.

Yeah. If you're wondering with the relevance. Yeah, it's tenuous, as is this. So, just a little backstory, because we have basically two supermarkets in Australia. We have more, but really it's the big two. We have Coles and we have Woolworths. And just a little bit of background for you guys in the audience,

but Australians back home would know all about Woolies. But it started as Woolworth's stupendous bargain basement. Whoa. Did you know that? Come on down. It was back in 1924 in Pitt Street in Sydney. It's right in the heart of the city of Sydney. And yeah, it was Woolworth's stupendous bargain basement.

And it grew very quickly. They then acquired a few other brands. And now it's one of our biggest, one of the biggest supermarkets we have. And so our story takes place in a Woolworth store. Or should I say Woolworth's stores? Whoa. It's a panty. to mine.

How can a bombing be taking place in multiple places at once? Yeah, it's crazy. I guess we'll find out, but I'll have to keep paying attention. And that's not going to happen. Just zone in every now and then, and you'll piece it together. So the first

first bomb was at a shopping centre that Woolworths had built in the 60s. It was one of those shopping complexes. It had a Woolworths and like 20 other small shops. And it was in Warrella Grove. So outside of Woolongong. See, all of this makes perfect sense for you guys too, doesn't it? I'm not going to explain the geography of any of these places. The 17th of December, Trevor Green was doing his security rounds at 3am.

The only other person in the building was a cleaner who was polishing the floors. And Trevor heard a noise that sounded like someone walking on the roof of the building. Oh my God. Couldn't be. Santa's a wink early. Is that like that? Rudolph doing a bit of recon. Trevor's like

He's so excited He's about to be ruined So he went to investigate And as he did There was a sudden loud explosion Trevor said it felt like the entire shopping centre was lifting off the ground He yelled to the cleaner to get out

And ran to his office to call the police Police arrived and assessed the damage The blast had ripped a huge hole in the roof Shattered the Woolworth shop front And blown out the windows of nearby stores I've always wondered how Santa gets in it makes sense because not every house has a chimney

if you don't have a chimney Santa will explode your roof He will explode your roof There was exposed wires that was sparking Water was leaking from destroyed pipes Investigations revealed that a stick of gelignite Also known as blasting gelatin Bit of fun

Was lowered through an air vent in the roof Before exploding While an explosion like this was certainly newsworthy It didn't exactly make front page news or gather too much attention until a second bomb went off. What is wrong with the Australian media? The first bomb, you're like, whatever. It was 3 a.m. No one was there.

We'll always blow up all the time. Oh, another one. I'm listening? Yeah, there was probably like, I don't know, Kylie Minogue had probably done something that day. That's more important to our culture. So another bomb went off. This time about three hours north in Maitland.

We all know Maitland. A town just outside Newcastle. There's a greyhound racing truck there. That helps you. Yeah. You know, just painting a picture there. Yeah. Like with the Wollongong bombing, it was done at night.

With no casualties and a stick of gel ignite. The damage this time was more. widespread with shop windows shattered down the street and a huge fire causing about $300,000 worth of damage, which was a huge sum at the time, as if that's not a lot of money now. It's about £3.50 now. Let me grab my wallet. I'll get this. You get the next one.

Yeah, okay. Do you know why the Harold Sarno, whoever didn't put it on the front page? They didn't have time to think of a good pun. After the second one day, what would your headline be? Unsafe way. That's why it's the punking. That's very good. So good to see up close, isn't it?

Yeah. He's a master. It says on his credit card still. Oh, what is that's true. Yeah, I wouldn't have done anything that good. It would just be like, oh, kabboom. Caboom, don't go to the shops today. What about?

Clean up on aisle. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. That's good. And you want to say? I don't get it. You know, they said, clean up on aisle nine, but it's like clean up on every single aisle. Oh, all of them.

Because it had blown up the park. Gotcha. Unsafe way was better. That was pretty good. Anyway, so the story this time was all over the news, but the culprit and their motive was a mystery. We've cracked it at Santa. The motive was getting in.

it was leaving prezies so there'd been no contact from the from the culprits no like threats or warnings so they're like why are you doing this but that was until December 22nd getting closer close to Christmas

and that's about as close as we get to this having anything to do with Christmas what year was I think that's my parents wedding anniversary 22nd of December. Something like that. It was way cheaper. Yeah.

Like generally, it was a Tuesday. And your sister was born how long after? It was a Christmas miracle. But are you trying to give your parents an alibi for this bombing? They couldn't have been. They were getting married. Couldn't have been. They live in a different state.

I don't know why you're suggesting that. So a letter arrived at the Woolworth's head off. us in Sydney, written on a typewriter, it read, this week we exploded two devices in two separate areas of New South Wales. They were both detonated in the early hours of the morning to demonstrate our ability with explosives and your vulnerability. There will be no further nighttime exercises. If it is necessary for us to bring more pressure to bear upon your company,

we intend to place explosives in your stores which will explode during peak shopping hours. along with the usual demand to not involve police, they asked for $500,000 in used unmarked $20 notes, $250,000 in 50-ounce gold bullion bars. $250,000 in loose diamonds of one carrot or greater. Any foolishness regarding the true value of the gold at any cost and diamonds will result at it. Geez, I haven't written it very well.

No. And that's on them. Yeah. Any foolishness regarding the true value of the gold or the diamonds will result in great embarrassment to the people we know are decision makers of our demands. So they're like, don't fuck with us. And we definitely, cubic zirconia and I'll fucking kill you. And I like, they're like, and we know them.

Don't ask us their names. But we know. We know who's making these decisions. So we'll know if you've done. if you're trying to do funny business. So they finished the letter with the threat of a third bomb. Ooh. That makes sense from where they were.

Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, you could threaten a fourth or fifth, but I feel like that'd be confusing. It was so hard. For the listeners at home, Dave is... Naked. And it was laughing.

Sorry, it was so hard. You're right to laugh You are right to laugh You're actually put your t-shirt on backwards, too Made you look I actually look Isn't his hair perfect for an elf hat? Yeah

That is so perfect There's no more perfect elf No Not just his hair's perfect for it, your whole physique They'll vibe And yet you played Santa, ridiculous Only because I was so good at the elf They gave me the promotion

Seriously, yeah, it's a bad choice It's a, yeah, not a good business move Anyway, I'm trying to build tension There's a threat of a third bomb, oh my God And it's not going to be at night Nah, oh my gosh And it wasn't an idle threat either The third bomb came on December 24th, 1980

Christmas Eve We are closer You said that we wouldn't get any more Christmas Eve than the 22nd Yeah, I lied You are diabolical Their target was a target a flagship Woolworth store in the middle of the Sydney CBD. It was 3pm Christmas Eve and the 10

story Woolworth's was packed to the brim with shoppers. So the first few floors of the building were shopping departments. Nowadays it's just a supermarket but back then it was more like a department store as well. Like John Lewis and partners. Local reference. I went to one today. Was it similar to TK. Max? I went to one today. I went to one today. So the first few floors are shopping departments, the higher floors are the head office. So there's lots of people there lead up to Christmas. Everybody doing their last minute shopping.

It's packed. A secretary by the name of Leonie McKinley picked up a call at her desk. On the other end was a man who introduced himself as Mr. Dunmore. He spoke with a fake Italian accent, which I will not be demonstrating. They're trying to be taken seriously. And he said, I want you to clear the George and Park Street store in 10 minutes, and you'd better do it. Now, a quick side note for a bit of context in Australia at the time.

It was later immediately obvious to investigators that Mr. Dunmore's Italian accent was fake. He was definitely a native English speaker putting on the accent. He was very inconsistent with his addiction and word choices. and coincidentally, then in Australia, exaggerated Italian accents were being used by a lot of people as they sang along to Joe Dolce's Shut Up Your Face, which had recently become Australia's biggest selling single, and was still at number one after eight weeks in that top spot. And I've never been so proud to be in Australian.

You're seeing it in your head, aren't you? Yeah. So, do you want to have a go? Well, to be honest, I think I'm not the wrong song in my head, but my brain is singing, when the moon hits your eye. That's not Jolci. No, that's not Del Jocce. That's Samora.

So anyway, they've got this bomb throat, and then I went on a tangent about, shut up your face. So, Leone, she springs into action. She goes to the Woolworth's GM, who sounded in a large, over the PA and they began to clear thousands of shoppers out of the store. The police were called as well. Now, they've only been given 10 minutes to search for this bomb and some of that time has already passed. So short on time, the police method was just to cover as much of the 10 floors as they could

looking for anything out of the ordinary. So they start at the top floors, they work their way down and they get fairly close to the front door before they hear an explosion. The glass front doors shatter, ceilings collapse and chaos breaks out. People are screaming, some had minor cuts from the broken glass. A lot of people were shocked and very confused. They just were there to get Christmas stuff. That's what you get for leaving it to the last minute.

You get exploded. So police are trying to get people away from the door. They aren't sure if there's going to be another explosion. It's chaotic. The bomb, it turns out, had been set up in the kids' section of Woolworth's. So as you can imagine, the police are now extra pissed and pretty keen to find these people. After the third explosion, eyewitnesses reported seeing someone leaving a nearby train station entrance in a bit of a hurry. The description of that person matched the description given by a Woolworth's employee who had seen someone acting suspiciously in the toy department earlier that day.

Was he dressed as Super Mario? Because that's who I'm imagining. Why? Because of the accent. The accent. The accent. Right. It's a me.

The bomber. Is it unusual for someone to be rushing out of a train station? Yeah. That feels like. But I make note of it. If I see someone rushing. Yeah. Right down the description.

I'm like, oh. What are they up to? What the fuck's going on me? Taking a mental image of them. Yeah, yeah. I'll just take a photo. I take an actual image. I've got thousands of them.

A bunch of suspicious freaks. So anyway. So from there, they put together identicates of this person, but of course, with bad witness memory, the descriptions weren't all that helpful, and it was a bit of a dead end. A few days later,

the bomber makes contact again. As soon as they'd pick up the phone they hear, it's a me. I'm walking in. That is inconsistent. This time the bomb against very specific instructions to have a Woolworth's security guard who he identifies by name, dress in a boiler suit and be given the ransom money. I don't know why he got to choose his outfit.

Seems a little full on to me. I'd be like, whatever he's comfy in, something that can get wet. what are you doing to the security that's for me to know so he's like give him the money put him in a boiler suit then I'll give more instructions the police had apparently somehow

predicted that this would happen and they had actually ordered that particular security guard to go on holiday and they put one of their own undercover guys in there and so they're like oh do you want Jerry yeah he's away it's Christmas And the bomber goes, all right, yeah, you'll do the other guy. So it's an undercover cop.

So, yeah, he agrees, which is insane. Police then prepared to make the ransom drop. They had cars following behind, aerial surveillance by helicopter, and all transport like airlines, trains, and boats on the harbour staked out looking for unusual activity. So they're really playing it very cool. There's helicopters over here? No, no, we're not looking.

We're just checking. So the caller directed the man in the boiler suit to a pub in western Sydney. When he arrived to that pub, there was a phone call that then directed him to another pub in Double Bay. Because the police were everywhere in the city, they were able to make it to Double Bay before the boiler suit officer made it there. And that's where they noticed a man with a big, bushy beard. Why do you think me? I reckon your parents have an alibi, but do you?

Enough said. So they notice him acting a little bit suspiciously. But from there, the boiler suit delivery man was directed to yet another pub. This time in Mossman. We're just doing a pub crawl. It's fun. Is he having a beer at his club? Of course.

Beiru not to. It would be suspicious. Exactly. So when he gets there, he's told to reach inside a gap in the wall where he found a walkie-talkie, and he was now getting directions from the bomber via walkie-talkie. That's sick. He's then directed to go to the wall. wharf and when he's there he is to attach the ransom it's inside like a sports bag to a rope

then lower it into the water whoa um there are undercover cops everywhere they're posing as fishermen and just regular people they're just watching this bag and this is a quote from a a ten part podcast series about this overkill to be honest watch me do it in an hour Detective Fitzpatrick was holding the line When at 2.27 a.m. He had a bite. Someone or something was tugging on the fishing line Attached to the yellow rope. Senior constable Frank Bofone

Nice. Went to the warfetched. Sorry, his name is Frank Bifony. That's got to be fake. It's buffony, but Bifony is better. Frank Bafone went to the wharf edge and peered down into the water.

Against the darkly shimmering surface he saw a man, a man in a full scuba suit with twin air tanks on his back. What level of Mario is that? That's not the underwater ones, yeah. Do do do do do do do. I had one furious nodder in the front row. I don't want to say who it was, but leave it, mate. I can't look at them now.

This guy was trying to, he was trying to cut the rope. Right. He looked up and locked eyes with the undercover officer. Keeping cool, Frank Bofone, said, Oh gee mate, you gave me a fright. I'm just doing some fishing. Anyway. Freepie, phony, that's what I.

See you. I'm just fishing. So the scuba suit, a scuba guy did not respond. Was he underwater? Is he up? He's underwater. Oh, man, man, maybe he's just like head above water. Oh, geez, mate, you scared me.

The guy's like, what? Oh, yeah. So, Frank, as casual as he could, retreated from the wharf edge and hurried to alert Detective Fitzpatrick and use his radio to raise the alarm. So he just sort of went like, ha, ha, shit, so hot.

No, no, mate. See you later. Just got to go make a phone call real quick. So he rushed back to the edge of the wharf. Frank Bofone is Jesus Christ This will edit together really nice today Jesus Christ was born

The next day So that's appropriate And they're trying to not let us call it Christmas anymore What's this Christmish? What is it? Honestly festive greetings What we all say now

That's rubbish We should still be allowed to say Christmas, like we all do still. You are at an age where when you say stuff like that, yeah. When we say that and everyone goes funny. Yeah. When you say it, they go, fuck, I know. Yeah, no, you're right, grandpa.

The irony is more built in for you. It's a lot more dangerous. So I've really got to use the eyes. Yeah. You have a lot of eye work to be ironic now. I can't say anything anymore. I think you just look like you're having a medical episode. In a lot of ways.

Anyway, so Frank's, his surprised fisherman act had worked. Scooper guy's still there. Still working away trying to get this bag. So Frank, he pulled his service revolver out and he aimed it at the guy and said, I'm from the police, don't move or I'll shoot. The guys are like, what are you saying

up there? What? So this the suspect who they'd co-named Mr. Bridge.

It's not all good, you know. Yeah, the police, they're not the most creative. The fridge. That is so bad. What would you call him?

Sir, Road. Yeah, it is harder than it looks. Yeah. It is hard on look. Anyway, so the police,

they, They get this guy out of the water And they establish that Mr. Bridge Is in fact called Greg McCarty Great name Greg was born in Queensland He's a son of a popular local rugby player He was popular with the ladies at school

And was a promising young footballer One of his girlfriends And again, a reference you guys will all really enjoy One of his girlfriends growing up Was none other than Australian daytime TV star Kerry Ann Pennelly Oh my God! Have I ever told you, once I was up in Sydney, it was deep into the night.

And someone tried to get me back to their place. And then... Well, again, mate. We were all believing you until that. I'm going to move on. Put him out of his misery. Her name was Sarah B. Phony. This is the line she used, which I thought was fantastic.

She said, my mum's Carrie Ann Kennelly. they want to come party at her house and you guys are married now did you say yes no I couldn't I couldn't go you couldn't get a Kerry Ann's out I don't believe that was true but it's such a wild life

oh my god it is true does anyone know who Kerry Ann is why would anyone know that said she had her own like daytime talk to and had a theme song and they went like this yeah cack

Cac Cary Ann Kennelly She's not Australians younger than them would know who that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes sense that. I barely know who. I've never heard that theme song in my life.

But I was like, am I going to leave out that Karen Cannelly dated this guy? No. Wait, dated the dad or the... No, Greg. Greg himself. Dated Greg? Apparently. Whoa.

So that could have been the dad of the woman I was talking to. I could be two steps away from this guy. Do you want to come back to my dad's place? He's Greg. Now I'm listening. Now I'm interested. He was a bit of a troublemaker. He stole a lot of cars as a teenager.

He worked odd jobs, including Jackaroo. Again, don't have to explain that to you guys. He was a bartender, and he even was a trainee manager at a local Woolworths. Oh, my goodness. That's where the bombs were. Crazy. Anyway, he enlisted in the Army in 1972. but while on leave he got a girl pregnant and went AWOL

and was eventually court-martialed and kicked out of the army. Sounds like he'd be happy about that, though. Who knows? And the girl was Carriane Kennelly? Girl was Carrienne Kennelly. And you met their daughter. He worked across New South Wales and Queensland in pubs and clubs and often ended up on the wrong side of the law.

And at the time of this arrest, as they pulled him out of the water, he had a warrant out against him as well. Why did he let him pull him out of the water? He should have just dived See you later Suckers And they can pop up in Nalgeta anywhere

You can't get him in the water You can't That's not part of your jurisdiction That's right What about the water cops Yeah water rats Well if there were water rats If J. La Gai was there

Oh my God This would crush in Australia Oh my God Honestly We would just be standing ovations for these references. You guys don't have water rats?

Do you not have water rats here? Filpsy? What? That doesn't miss an out. Steve Bisley. Lisa McKeown? It needs nothing to this country. What happened to you?

Oh my gosh. The Gold Logi. Do you respect the Gold Logi? Fucking out. It's like Australia's TV bathtub. Oh my. Oh, gosh. Unbelievable.

Name for a Britain. Don't like your bed. That's right. And still nothing. Do you have culture here? They have plenty of stuff. Oh, they said it all down south. You guys are very easy, too.

Actually, it was easier in Edinburgh to just go, oh, the English. Five-minute standing ovation. Very easy stuff. really did let you have it over there. Oh, yeah, the fuck, yeah, well. And they'd be like, yeah, fucking kill them. Which is what I'm here to do. Lock the doors.

Okay, I'm going to keep going. Okay. Let me have you want me to shut up for a bit. How will I do that? Because I've been trying for nine years. Well, I could go to the bar and then I can't talk. No, that actually makes you talk more. It's not working in the long run.

So they arrest Greg. And he said to the police, look, I had nothing to do with the bombing, so I'm a middleman. You know, I'm just... So there's a guy called Detective Oppenshaw. Great name. He wanted to know who'd hired him to do the job. Greg said the bloke's name was Benny. And he said, he told me what the setup was, and all I had to do was pick up the money.

So police traced Greg's scuba gear back to a burglary that had. happened earlier that year in Jarvis Bay. How do you do that? How did you trace... What? So like some scuba gear had been stolen and a shop reported it stolen and then the exact same stuff turned up on Greg and then they went, oh, hang on. I thought it might have been a QR code or something.

I traced it back. You were trying to do a 10 episode and win one episode. Yeah, I'm trying to cut all that shit out. There's a lot, to be honest. A little too much, okay? Anyway, so Greg's account of events, right? Because we're like, Greg, Greg, Greg, what are you been up to? You naughty boy.

So, Greg admitted to knowing what was in the bag and that it was related to the bombings, but he didn't want to say the name of who was in charge of the crime. He told police he was approached by the mastermind at a nightclub and told there was a job going down in Sydney. He said, my mum is Kerry Ann. Do you want to come back and party at my point? It's that easy. So he hitchh-

I'm pretty sure that happened. It was a big night. That part we believe. Somebody saying, do you want to come back to my place? Less believable. Well, I mean, you know, I've been around a long time. It's bad to have happened once or twice. Okay, maybe not.

So Greg hitchhiked his way down from Queensland and slept the night before in Hyde Park. hiding his scuba gear in a bush. Police didn't buy it and according to their reports he cracked under their interrogation and eventually told the truth. Seems like they didn't have to put much pressure on. I don't think that's true.

Okay! He told the police he'd been hired by a man called Benny for the ransom collection only. Benny dropped him at the park and when it got dark he got into the water and swam into the wharf. The reason Greg got caught is because the ransom bag was still tied to the wharf pile and there'd been some contention over whether the bag was meant to be untied or not.

Really interesting, fun stuff. So I think it's basically like it should have been loose and he should have just been able to grab it and go, but it was sort of tied there. So that's why he was there sort of trying to. Oh, trying to. Yeah. Ultimately, the goal of the police was to follow whoever collected the ransom in order to find whoever was behind it, assuming correctly that whoever collected the ransom wouldn't be the big wig.

You know, they send out minions to do it. So regardless, the bag. Bag being tied to the pylon ultimately led to Greg's arrest. And according to Greg, he was meant to stay underwater, collect the untied bag, then go back to Hyde Park, and Benny was going to pick him up. And then Benny would take the money to Queensland. And he refused to give Benny's last name,

but this is how he described him. He was 37 to 40 years old, 5 foot 9, olive skin. Yeah, I'd kill it be 5 foot 9. Dark hair. You killed for that too. Bring it back. Dark hair, medium length, not greasy.

Is a weird detail? Medium length, but not greasy. He had a solid build and a barrel chest, like a weightlifter. I'm back in. Why is he refused to give the surname? Like he knows it, but he's giving such specific details. What a weird way to go about it? It is strange.

There's more. Benny was always well-dressed. He liked gold jewelry and sunny days. And sunny days. That's very much. He drove a mustard-colored 1979 Ford Falcon sedan. That's a beautiful automobile. Beautiful.

And Greg thought that Benny was from Sicily or maybe Yugoslavia. Easy mistake to me. Very specific spot in Italy. Sicily. Or he said he met him working in various pubs and clubs He denied having anything to do with the bombing Saying he was just the collections man

Police wanted to test this So they told him that they'd been informed That if the courier was arrested The bomber would remotely detonate bombs At four Woolworth stores Which is true, they had been threatened of that And Greg was quick to deny this Which police believed

They sort of thought Well only someone that's more involved With the crimes would have an opinion On whether there'd be more bombs If you've literally just been sent to collect stuff and the police said, well, we've been threatened with more, you might go like, oh, I don't know anything about that. But Greg's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no more bombs.

So they're like, I think you're mooring on it than you're saying, Greg. You said, I haven't said any. I mean, they, I mean, oh. Yeah, Greg's not bright. So he was eventually arrested for trying to steal the money and diamonds and was denied bail and remanded in custody as his previous warrant meant he was a serious flight risk While he was in jail, police got more information about his movements

and what really happened in the lead-up to his arrest and he mentioned that he'd been in Melbourne in September of that year. So they searched his flat that he'd stayed in in Melbourne and found a piece of paper that said, the Greg file. Is that his nickname? And references to $1 million. So they're like, oh, I reckon you're a bit more involved. So while Greg was in jail, Woolworths agonised over weather to open stores due to the new bomb threats.

They did for about two hours and then they changed their minds. They called a press conference. They called the police and a thousand police officers descended on the 250 Woolworth stores across the state and evacuated everyone. So there's quite a lot of panic. While he was in jail, the media were reporting that police had failed to get the head criminal and police were criticised by politicians for an amateurish tactics that put people in There was a frenzy to find Benny. They released his description to the public, and media reminded people that a 250,000 reward was offered for the identity of the head honcho, leading to lots and lots of leads.

None of them all that helpful. That's where we are. Can I just double check? Is that air conditioning? Does that work? Is it everyone hot or just me? I'm okay. Don't worry about it then.

Thank you so much for it. checking. So the big question at this point is who the fuck is Benny? Who the fuck is Benny? Who the fuck is Benny? Eventually police confront Greg about the information they have that they found against him

including that the scuba gear was stolen and he admits that Benny is made up. What? The bit where he said he loves the son. This guy should write books. He loves gold jewelry. Oh my God, he's a novelist. That was real to me. Benny is not real.

Really? I'm so sorry. But he still refuses to tell them anything more, and police keep trying to get information out of him. While this is all happening, police are gathering more and more information, and even though they've now found out that Benny doesn't exist, they have started to narrow in on who they believe is in charge of the bombings.

They were going really hard. They were tracking the stolen scuba gear, and they were interviewing anyone who knew Greg, and they were trying to link Greg directly to the bombing and they found blue insulation tape on his abandoned underwater propulsion unit the tape that was also found in one of the Woolworth's bathrooms. It feels tenuous, but they really hold on to this. Through these interviews, they discovered that in December of that year,

Greg had met a man named Larry Danielson at a local Bowles Club and they'd later lived together. Through their investigation, they were able to discover that Larry had previously worked at the surf shop that Greg's stolen scuba gear had come from. So the police decide, maybe we need to have a chat to this Larry fella too. So Larry Danielson, he was not a career criminal,

but a career musician. Same thing, am I right? I don't know what that means. He was born Keith Edward Bradford in 1932, Keith. And he was a new person. New Zealander and he dreamed of playing rugby with the All Blacks. After an injury he developed an interest in music. Apparently

he drove into town one day to buy a book about music and on the way back he ran into a sheep and injured his leg further. And that is the most New Zealand thing I've ever heard of my life. He tripped over a sheep. He was driving. Okay.

When he injured his leg I did think tripped on him as well. They are everywhere. He became a pretty good musician and after graduating high school and according to him he moved to Argentina and then England. In amongst travelling and being a musician, Larry told

the story of the time he was apparently playing cards with famous actor Peter O'Toole making him late for a read-through of Lawrence of Arabia. I think that's probably not true. Larry was in and out of court for criminal offences and had even been to jail before. He moved to Papua New Guinea

working for Anset Airlines and it was there he tried his hand at being a pop singer He even released an album called Travelyn Music, which you can still listen to on Spotify today. So, for the journey home. That's a classic thing, though, isn't it when you go to Papua New Guinea? It's sort of like the Hollywood of music. Yeah. You're like, I want to make it big as a musician.

I'm moving to Papua New Guinea. Tales old was time. Yeah. When he eventually moved back to Australia in 1977, he started running a live music venue and cinema called Flicks in Manly in Sydney. The venue hosted a few classic Australian bands in that late 70s era, including Skyhooks, Midnight Oil, Cold Chisel, a few of your faves. Larry wasn't the best venue runner and often didn't pay bands what they were owed.

Apparently he tried to skip out on paying Rose tattoo one night and ended up with a punch in the mouth. He was a bit of a local character. People recall Larry driving around town and he's red Maserati, although sometimes people will say yellow Ferrari. And they're very different. The colours. I don't know about the cars.

So he had a sports car, I reckon, at some point. Apparently the venue was pretty loose with ID, and it was a great place for underage drinkers. And Larry just paid off the cops to stay out of trouble. He owed a lot of people, a lot of money, and Flicks eventually went bust in early 1980. Ah, so maybe he needs cash. After this, he ended up in a sort of halfway house

where he eventually lived with Greg. So, police ask Larry to come to the station, which he agrees to, and they begin asking him lots of questions. Does he know Greg? Yes. What were his movements on key dates in the investigation? He says his memory is hazy, but he gives them his whereabouts for all the dates, including times he and Greg drove to Sydney together. And when they type up his statement to sign, he refuses because he couldn't be 100% certain on the details. The cops spent a bit of time with Larry over the next 24 hours, going back to his house to

question him over some things that didn't add up, including his whereabouts on the 22nd of December, the day that the letter was sent, and two days before the third bombing. One of the cops knew Larry from his flicks days and somehow thought it would be a good idea for him and his partner to get drunk with Larry, where he got annoyed and threatened to turn in one of Larry's other associates if Larry didn't give them more info. And that feels like good use of police resources. Nothing came of this encounter, but when the police got back to Sydney, they decided to listen to the recordings made of the phone calls that had been made during the bomb threats. They decided they needed to record the next phone call they had with

Larry, and the recordings were then sent to a phonetics expert to do a comparison. So they think Larry's the one making the phone call with the bad accent. He was kept under surveillance during this time, and on the 29th of January, police took Larry to the station for further questioning. And while he was at the station, his house was being searched. Evidence was collected. Larry was under intense scrutiny and presented with evidence, including the blue tape, linking him to the ransom drop-off and the bombings. The same tape that linked Greg to the crimes, that pesky blue tape. It actually was integral to the case.

Yeah. I remember I said it the first time, I could feel everyone go, the fuck. And you're right. And I feel that still. But the tape is apparently important. He was then informed that he would be formally charged and appear in court, and he was refused bail.

He was held in the same jail, but separate sections, as Greg. They stayed there for six weeks before their trial. The trial finally began on the 22nd of March, 1982. This is two years or like, you know, 18 months later. Both Greg and Larry pled not guilty. They faced 20 years in jail if they were found guilty. While awaiting trial, Larry applied for bail on multiple occasions, but was always denied. The police had overwhelming evidence that the two men had.

conspired to extort money from Woolworths and detonated the three bombs. Greg's defence was that he was just a man for hire. Larry claimed that he'd been stitched up by police and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Lawyers argued against evidence like the recordings of Mr. Bridge being made illegally. Still funny, Mr. Bridge. Or that the composite images looked nothing like either man and unreliable witnesses and a lack of transcripts from some of the key interviews.

They've got nothing. There's no case here. Not guilty. That's why I always get Matt to represent me in court. Stop wasting our time. The prosecution, Your Honor. They're taking the piss. Let's, look, you and I know this isn't going anywhere.

I'll take you out for lunch. How about that? And let's call it a day. put her there you're gonna arm wrestle yeah no I'm doing this I'd say yeah

I'd say I'd say I'd normally talk to judge When the fuck did you guys make up a handshake without me Um No comment Please the fifth Please the fifth Uh

It's bullshit We don't either Okay so basically There's a lot of circumstantial evidence From witnesses It's not looking too good For Larry and Greg What?

The blue tape. That's fucking nothing. It's less than nothing. I don't think you'd be on their side. It's interesting. I mean, blue tape is, I mean, sure, bit of a coincidence. Yeah.

But not enough to put a man away for 20 years. Your Honor, I beseech you. If you have any doubt, you have to acquit. And in this case, Your Honour, I've got doubt coming out of the fricking eyeballs, mate. Day, you with me? And he's nodding.

He's done honestly, yeah, but they make me do this. I like, I get it, brother. Can I go on? That's up to you, really, yeah. While Larry was repeatedly requesting bail while awaiting trial, Greg had other ideas. An old-fashioned escape. Fuck yeah, Greg.

Would a guilty man try and escape? I ask you that, Your Honor. Surely that's a man who is craving the freedom he surely deserves. An affable and intimidating man, Greg had made some friends in jail. They respected him for his crimes and he had connections on the answer. Yeah, you're all right, Greg. The plan? Greg's connections will come as visitors to the jail

with bags of clothes with hidden sawn off shotguns. So. Because who's checking big bags of stuff that comes into prisons? It's the 80s. They're not checking anything. They're like, yeah, cool. Bring in a gun.

Yeah, what do you go out there? Clothes, sorn off shotgun? Come on. Come on. Thank you very much. But before this could happen, he was taken to a different jail. He was moved.

His breakout plot had been foiled by snitches. I don't know whose side you guys were on. Did anyone die on the bombings? No. We're on their side. So he's now in Paramounted jail waiting to be called up for trial and he's earned the nickname Mr Woolworths. So prisoners are worse.

come out with Nicknages. So it's the 10th of April 1982, it's 10am and Greg is seen in the visitor auditorium. 90 minutes later during the daily headcount and general checks, Greg was nowhere to be found. Police and prison staff searched for him.

It took them two days to even consider that he'd escaped because they were so sure that was impossible. So they're like, he's probably just in the loo. He'll turn up. You know, she down? He's around to you, son. It's a big prison.

He'll get hungry and he'll come back. Two days later like, fuck, he might have escaped. So they come up with a theory that between 10 a.m. and 12.30, he must have cut off his hair, shaved his beard, and managed to walk out with other visitors. Just wandered on out. The first sign that he definitely escaped was a carjacking on Easter Sunday. The woman recognized him from his mugshot. and he was even wearing his prison clothes.

It's nice that this is both the Christmas and an Easter special. I've covered all bases. So the police are absolutely baffled. Meanwhile, Larry has been sentenced to 20 years in prison. Greg has also been sentenced, but he's still on the loose. Then on the 17th of May, 1982, 17 months after the first Woolworth's bombing, another bomb goes off at the Woolworth store in Liverpool in southwest Sydney. No one's hurt, luckily, and the damage is minimal.

But with Greg on the run, the media and everyone wants to know, is this his handiwork? But I don't understand why. Why would he do it now? Yeah. A photo of Greg is released. It's an old photo showing him clean-shaven. And he was recognised as a man who'd worked across Queensland and Surfers Paradise,

a nervous but affable man known as Noel Stratford or John McIntosh, or a number of other names. as he made his way through various hospitality jobs. By June, police were closing in on Noel slash John, aka Greg. It had been 10 weeks since he escaped and with some stolen IDs, he was close to obtaining a passport ready to leave the country for good. But the cops had other ideas and descended on his apartment one evening. He looked completely different to his photos and he had weed on him,

which gave the cops even more of a reason to arrest. him just had some drugs on him good stuff oh boy this guy innocent as i am uh a man here today your honor you couldn't think of a single thing about yourself other than you exist in this room your honor your honor you're honest honestly am i wearing pants please i can't tell um I've been having a bit of Greg's gear. And you are a butterfly, though, right? Yeah. In so many ways, yes.

Thank you, Your Honor. So they were arrested Greg. I'm sorry. I fade a bit when I've had a few beers and then stop. If anyone is going past the bar. From your station in a seated position. Jess wouldn't let me do it, so I'm just wondering if I can manifest it. I have two minutes.

Please just let me fucking... You're going to make it. Let me die. So he's been arrested. He's been arrested. He's been arrested. He pleads guilty. He's extradited to New South Wales.

At the end of July, he's back in court to receive his sentencing. The same as Larry, 20 years, with nine years non-parole, right? So you would think that that would be the end of it. But in November, just four months later, Greg tried to escape again. It's getting up to Christmas season. I'm starting to think he's Santa. I've never seen the two of them in the same place. This time he was caught before he got past the outside wall.

So it didn't go as well this time. So we're getting some sympathetic oars over here. I really don't know where you guys stand. In the late 80s, this is the aftermath, right? But just a bit of context as well. In the late 80s, New South Wales had really overcrowded prisons. And it was a political hot topic. As a result, a lot of prisoners who were on good behavior in prison

were having their non-parole sentences reduced. So in March of 88, it was announced that Larry would be led out of prison just six years into his nine-year non-parole period. No one was happy about it, but he was let out and he was deported to New Zealand immediately. I imagine someone was happy about it. Do they get Larry's opinion? I don't want to go.

No. There was going to be a roast handful of, oh no. There's nobody should. sheep in New Zealand. So Larry took on a new name, Peter Fisher. He got married, he continued to play music, and he even wrote a number of books, which he self-published.

He eventually passed away, yada, yada, yada, yada. Oh, because I'm, well, you guys were really loving these guys. I don't know. He did die, but he, um, he's well. Oh, no, Larry. Yes. What did that guy say? No idea.

Don't know. Don't understand their funny accents. It's a beautiful accent, beautiful. Beautiful accent. Beautiful. Two months after Larry was released, Greg was also let out despite his escape from prison

and then attempting to escape again they let him out of prison he'd served less than six years of his sentence people were pretty furious including the incoming New South Wales Liberal Party in a pretty quiet life but in 2005 he faced court over a stabbing incident it's pretty grim too

It's pretty. We might have back the wrong horsey. 20 times. Oh, he goes. No, no, no. Well, what we all think is the system let him down? To be fair, Jess, you would have been pissed if you'd only have to stab the person 19 times. That's true.

That is true. I have a weird thing with numbers. I imagine he finished and 20. Oh, I lost count. Oh, I'll have to start again. Trying to get it in the same stab holes. I mean There would be a way to count

Put the knife down You reckon you can just Come on Matt get your head out of your ass To be honest I've never been in that situation He was a quiddot of multiple stabbings He was a quiddish Honestly I am full of Christmas cheer

I know God bless us everyone I had a little paragraph to like bring up the mood a bit but I don't think I need it. I think we can end on he was acquitted. I think that might be, I think that's our 10th annual Christmas episode. Really?

Yeah, and it gets Christmas year every year. Christmas year. Every year, yeah, that one was that really got me in the mood for Christmas. Can't I wait to see my mum. Tell her this story. Fun Christmas conversation.

She'd be impressed by the fact that that guy dated Carrie Ann. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom loves Kerry in. All moms do. All moms love Carrie. I can't believe you guys don't have cack. Oh my God.

Anyway, we did it. Great word. We did it. Another Christmas episode done. Another wonderful live episode done. We couldn't have done it without you, wonderful people. Thank you for us for our boys. We don't have to wrap up because we're about to, like, as far as the listeners at home, though,

this is going to be just a quick jump. Everyone's going to go grab a drink now and we'll be about. in a second. Is that ringing in my ears only? No, that's not. Yeah. Well, we should have said yes. Damn it.

Yeah, what are you talking about, old man? So, yes, we are going to have a quick little break down at the bar. We'll be open and we'll be back with everyone's favorite section of the show just after this. So we'll see you soon. Thank you so much. And now it's time for everyone's favorite section of the show where we thank some of our fantastic supporters who've signed up on. This is the first time we've done it live. And, you know, who knows how this will go.

but I think it's built for an audience If you guys like hearing names We've got a section And if you don't like it The bar's open Yeah, the bar will remain open Yeah, have some fun We're basically in the Triptitch Club right now

Yes, this is how I've always pictured it So if you don't belong in here There's the door So yeah, the way this section works Is we thank some of our great supporters who've been with us for a while some even more than that some less but um some longer than we've even existed yeah honestly uh so uh there's a bunch of different levels day what are some of the things you can get

if you get involved on the patreon you get our bonus episodes you hear about live shows before anyone else some of the people you may have done that discounts to those shows you get to be part of our beautiful Facebook group what a lovely part of this yeah it's nice it's nice isn't it's very nice it's the corner of the internet it is the nicest corner of the internet you i put it I'll put that quite well then, I think. So yes. But the first thing we like to do is for people on the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above, they get to give us a fact, quote or a question.

In a section of the show, I actually think it has a jingle. Go somewhere like this. They also remembered to sing. I was like, I've talked enough. So the way this section works is our great supporters get to give us a fact, quote, or a question, or a brag or a suggestion, or really, whatever they like. I normally read out one, two, three or four. Tonight I'm going to read out four.

Why not? The first one, I don't know where any of these people are from. So let's see if, actually, I know where he's from. But we'll... All right, so the first one this week comes from Sophie Schilling. You're in tonight, Sophie, doesn't matter. Sophie was like, oh. They also get to give themselves a title.

and Sophie's title is Sydney 2000 Ambassador's Girlfriend. Oh, very specific. Sydney 2000, a great time for our beautiful nation. My goodness. You should have been there. The best Olympics. Ever.

Yeah. For Australians. Yeah. Yeah, we did really well. Sophie's asking a question writing. I should also say, don't read these out till I read them out. Which is just excusing me for not being super good at reading. And now he also has to battle tech.

Sophie writes, Hi, gang, I am drunk. I met you all the other night at the Edinburgh show and you were very lovely, but I'm worried. Imagine if she was like, and you were all kind of cunts. You're all very lovely, but I'm worried that I did a bad job at talking. No, that's our thing. So sorry about that, lull.

Luckily, I made my boyfriend Max come with me. Oh, my God, that's a bit... I guess we're not ended all right. Geez, please. That's a big finish. Is this a brag? It's framed as a question, but my words. Holy moly getting to know you very well.

Luckily, I've made my boyfriend Max come with me. And he had his Sydney 2000 Olympics jumper on. Oh, that'll do it. That's enough for me. But you can leave your Sydney 2000 jacket on. I remember seeing this jacket. Yeah, I do. Oh, yeah.

It was like real hard of the trip. Came up at the end of the show and I was like, oh my God, $22,000. And then I was having a fun time. We were all there. He said, oh, she said, you all enjoyed the jumper.

One by one, we all, I'll go. We all came together. To want of this jumpop, I'm so glad we're getting a chance to do that. To honor this jumper. My question is, do you have a piece of clothing

that also acts as a conversation piece? I and Sophie as I always ask a question writer's to do has answered her in question I have a fluffy green jacket that makes me look like I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming if you know what I mean Anyway big love X O X O X O Oh wow gossip girl gossip girl oh my gosh Conversations starter fashion pieces Basically everything you boys wear

Oh yeah, people are. A lot of fashionistas. Honestly, I've got a Vegemite hat. It'll be one of my favorite hats. It's yellow. It's cordoroy. And I was in Brisbane a couple of weeks ago. And I couldn't believe how many people said love that hat.

It wasn't a conversation started, but it was a real compliment startup. Same thing to me. Yeah, yeah. Mine would be, and I think a lot of people in the audience would understand this, anytime I wear a dress with pockets. Yes. That's a conversation star. There's a lot of you.

Yes. It's the best. People just go, huh, pockets. No, it's usually somebody goes, that's a nice dress. You go, thanks, it has pockets. Oh, so you're starting the conversation. You don't get it. And that's okay, but you don't get it.

I've got pocket privilege. Nearly everything I don't have pockets. Yeah. Must be nice. It really is. I think I might be wearing one of my conversations. This is my X-Files T-shirt. I'm not as many people over here.

You can't see it. That is the creepiest. So you're all out of good look now. And I met a lovely chap just in the break there who came up and said, I've also got an X-Files T-shirt. So is that you? Yeah, brother. Love it.

So, um. Sit down. So it's started a conversation. What are you doing? That was a perfect example. Yeah. So funny for a man wearing fake elf ears. That his conversation starter is a t-shirt.

But honestly, look at, look at Scully there. She's breaking. What's the old fellow's name again? Skinner. Mitch Pellegi. Skinner and Scully? Like, fuck. They're running out of ideas?

I didn't get far through the phone book, did they? Topical. Oh my God. The question was from skilling as well. Oh. What could it all mean? I don't know, Molder. Man, this is fucking the best.

I really wish we could just do this and nothing. Anyway, what do you reckon? Next tour, this is it. This is it. Thank you so much, Sophie, for that. Next one comes from James Edwards, aka cool gay uncle of the pod. look fabulous. They're just jealous.

I needed to hear that. Thank you, James. And, oh, this might be the first time I've had one of these. It's not a fact quote of question or a brayer or a suggestion. It's a wish fulfillment. Oh, that's interesting. Yes, and interesting how I pronounce it too. Fulfil.

Went in doubt, just be like, that's how we say it. Yeah, that's just an accent thing. Yeah. Everyone says it like that back home. Fulfilment. Fulfilment. James writes, Hi, gang.

How cool are we were in a gang. Remember those wishes you made when I appeared as a genie during the fact quarter question at the end of Michelle Brazier's Doctor Who guest report? Yeah, of course, yeah. I don't remember the report I just read, but I remember that. I think I speak for all of us when I say, no, James. We do not. No.

Anyway, he's going to recap it by looks so. He says, well, here's how they turned out. Michelle, you wish that all dogs be as big as Shetland ponies For Bruce and Eva, her two dogs, to live healthily and happily as long as you and Tim are living. That's... Well, because we said that we wish the dogs would live forever and then we're like, oh, that's bleak, because then we would die

and the dogs would die. Oh, that'd be cursed to the dogs will live as long as we live. Okay. So you're killing the dogs in a humane way. Yeah. My dog goes with me. and to always have enough money to solve your problems, but not too much that you start creating problems for other people.

However, herds of stampeding, giant dogs, rampaged through towns and cities, causing huge amounts of damage to property, leading to you having to pay massive amounts in compensation. Oh no, Michelle, you didn't think it through. James, this is kind of feeling like you're a bit of a killjoy. I don't know what I wished for, but I'm scared. I have a bad feeling here.

might be monkey pouring us. Yeah. Oh no. Dave. What do I wish for? You wish to have the ability to teleport anywhere in the world with anyone you want. Oh. To have a card that demands any bakery you go into must give you a free pie.

Yeah, that's right. And for Humphrey, your dog, to live as long as you. Yeah. We all really jumped on that train. Yeah, yeah. I think I have a feeling I know what mine's going to be. As soon as we heard that one, I'm like, oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

However, you can never teleport. to or from the same place twice. The pies you receive are all made by Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd. Humphrey is now the size of a Shetland pony due to Michelle's wish. And you can't afford to feed him. You go broke and end up homeless. Would I just give him a Sweeney Todd pie? Yeah, James.

I look forward to in a few months when we've forgotten this. That you update us again. Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's grim. Yes. Oh, no. You wish to be able to sing. You also wish for free business class flights on a real plane.

Forever. Lofty dreams. A real plane. And for $10,000 to appear in your bank account every month. However. Oh, get fucked, James. You are now a very well-paid immortal, singing business class C. Guys, he's as old as the wind.

Give him a chance. However, you are now a very well-paid, immortal, singing business class seat. You can buy business class forever. Yeah, so I might have hit the emphasis. I'd get wrong on that. That's bullshit. Well, I assume mine's going to go well.

Matt, you wish for world peace. Oh, my God. Lord of my life. You guys also felt like real piece of shit. No, I'm still disappointed I didn't add the dog thing in there. You wish for world peace. For everyone to be happy, I am so cute. And for the Saints winning a Premiership, a little son for me.

However, the Saints winning a Premiership is such a massive improbability that it causes a breakdown of society. Resulting in World War III. Everyone dies in nuclear warfare. He's really skipped over the world peace part, doesn't he? But that would have been that you are the reigning premieres forever. Oh, my God. I will take that deal.

He said, oh, so sorry. Looking forward to seeing you in London, much though, James. I'm not sure I'm looking forward to see James. Thanks so much, James. Next one comes from Sophie Tudor. Who need to know? The people around Sophie pointed, as if we didn't go to pub trivia with Sophie last night.

Yeah, we know. Yeah, she was the only other one there when Saraj told us he was going to pound land a day. I'm too much of a gentleman to ask what Sophie's been up to. Okay, she very clearly said not that. Sophie has a title of group mum. Stop sticking your tongues out at each other. No.

Sophie's got a brag slash. suggestion writing. I got my nose pierced. I've done for years and I've always been talked out of it and then spent a while thinking I'm too old for that now. I also got my, oh, that's it. Again, I've done that emphasis.

I also got my first three tattoos this year. So my suggestion is do the thing. That thing you've always wanted to do, make it happen. It's not too late. Yes. So that does imply that there's no regrets then. Because there's nothing in there said you're happy to have done it. It's a beautiful message, but the thing that I have always wanted to do is pierce my nose.

And you told me it fucking hurt. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing the thing. I was going to pierce your nose is, yeah, that makes. I'm like, hard for a man, really brilliant for a woman to be able to. piss your nose they really have no culture here yeah

the final one of these tonight comes from Paul Meller and Paul's the one I knew where he's from he's from Oldham near Manchester Paul has the title Sanders Little Helper yeah you pricks

yeah you booed Santa's little help you happy nah good on you Paul's got a question writing Have you been good boys and girls? No And what do you want for Christmas? Topical

I really want a dash cam I really want a dash cam Dave it's pronounced Daxand I'll take one of them too Sorry, I'm being so sincere. Somehow you've overtaken me in old age. I asked for one last year and was ignored by the family.

What else do you want a leaf blow? I've already got a leafboard. I'm such a dead now. I wouldn't, yeah, okay. All right, I was like, oh no, I can only think of something sincere. And that's not very interesting. And then you said dash cam. I know it's so bad.

I want to dice an air wrap. Oh. It's pretty fun stuff What does that mean? You don't get it, babe. Come on. Yes, that's why I asked. I probably want world peace.

Insufferable. Well, to me, this is a time of year for giving. Thank you so much to Paul, Sophie, James and Sophie. But we of course are not done. In many ways, we're only just. giving one. Next up, we thank nine for some reason, or it's because we used to do three each,

but we're thinking nine of our other great patron supporters, anyone on the shoutout level or above. Yeah. And Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the topic of the day? Yeah, we're going to give them elf names. Yeah. All we could do which store they'll bomb.

Store bombing. All right. What I'm doing? I've got the iPad, so I'll read out the names and you two want to rotate between... If anybody's got any grudges against any particular retail chains, feel free to let us know. Be specific.

Wash your mouth. Primark, I mean, address. You can't. We can't bomb them all. There's so many. All right, yeah, let's do it. All right, first up... I'm going to go all Australian ones that they don't understand.

I don't know where these people are from exactly what... Because I've not heard of the place, but there's four GBs in here. So let's see if anyone's in and I'd imagine. First up, and I'd imagine. And I apologize. Normally I can get away with it in the studio, but pronouncing these cities wrong. And English people do not spell things correctly.

But I'll do my best. Firstly, from Porth call in BGE. Great. If I don't know. Well, you don't know I'm wrong then. Do you know what BGE is? Based on his name, it's probably in Wales. It's Reese.

Race. Rease. Rees. Cary's. Is that a place? Electronic store, right? Curries. I know it's not a lot.

What is this place? Carries. So topsy-turvy. What the heck? It's no sense at all. Carries. Oh, next one. Much closer to home.

From Hawthorne in Melbourne in Australia. It's Alex Swan. Alex Swan is bombing bed, bath and table. It's right. Yeah, I told you I'm doing Australian ones. They've got bed bath and beyond. Yeah.

No, that's America. Yeah. Bath store. That's amazing. I thought Australia took the dreams out of Bedbath and Beyond with table. But bath store. That deserves to be bombed. Yes.

Next up, Dave, from... I want to say plate in Deutschland It's probably not pronounced that Plate. Plate? Plata. Any Germans in?

From a plate in Deutschland. It's Pia. Pia. How about? Debenums. Close down. It's close down.

What happened to this country? What did Debenham sell? Everything. Everything. Yeah, they had to narrow it down I needed Gordon Ramsey to come in and fix up that menu Just saw a few good things

Well Damn itums Next up Oh interesting Maddress I know Can only assume from deep within The Fortress of the Moles And thank you Craig Delgado

Oh wow Are you fuck on Are you here? Is that you Craig Craig? Craig. Craig, gooby, come on. Craig and Delgarner.

But if Craig was to, theoretically, of course, these are all in theory. Oh, in theory. We're not in any shots here. Any coincidences. Put that on the record. Just purely that. Poundland. Poundland.

Yeah. They know what they did. Yeah. Next up from London in G.B. It's Olivia George. Olivia George. her local Pratamonger You're all gonna buy up

You love Pratt No Dave's not doing it Oh Yeah I'm up Dave's devastating He loves a Permong Yeah there's only 4,99

Other stores in this city No We're not Pramonja Well Jess get her poschettas Roll now Fuck I'm all the posh cheddar I think about that When I'm not in this country

I think about that posh cheddar There's one day I don't regret it Dagel Dave, you're losing the people. Talk about Grex. I would never bomb. Greeks will not be bombed on this show, okay?

Do you guess what I'm going to choose next? Can anyone explain this to me? Olivia George is from London in WFT in Great Britain. But this next person from London in ISL, Great Britain. Is that a different London? Islington? Well, what's waft? What is it?

And that, is that a different London? Or is London so big that it's... splits over two different counties. Just a few more. Revers. Oh. Cop that regular London. Yeah.

That is rough. That is rough. That is rough. I'd change my name. I'd change my name to like really good other original thing. Even greater London. Splendid London. And who is it?

From London. Islington, Great Britain, it's Andre Prezard. Oh, very exotic. Andre Prezreuse. Don't do it, Bob. Why? Don't do what?

Don't. Don't you dead. Don't do what? Don't you dear, Bob. I don't know what you're talking about. Little. Good, good. From Montreal and Quebec in Canada,

it's Marco Petrella. Marco Petrella. Genani Canadian stores. Tim Hortons. Are you Canadian? Oh no. There was a cheer and a boo. Are you Canadian?

Long, dude. I'm fading real fast. I was just going to say, you are reaching new peaks. A couple left from Sheffield in S-H-F. I reckon that's also Sheffield. In Great Britain, please. And thank you, Izzy. Tesco Express

A few people here rely on that What did you say? Do you say, I love Tesco Oh, that's where I'm going to get my bits My bits I would use bits in a very different context Yeah, pound land What does that mean? What does bits mean?

You get your bits status does not help explain it at all you just said the word again get a bit of hummus no milk just the essentials really going as well I think Dave is settling in nicely

we're losing him yeah to a better Dave to the mother country finally finally from Berwyn Heights in Maryland in the United States

It's a city aperture. Okay. I think that might be like an architecture firm or something. City aperture. City aperture. So America? Yeah, Maryland. So an American one?

Yeah. Can you think of any? Do they do chains? No, Walmart rules. What about? There's a lot of, there's a lot of ammo in there too. It would really go up. What about a, what?

Yeah, okay. Too many to think of. Yeah, my brain's shutting down a bit. Five guys. That is the biggest feminist move you could do. Thank you so much to Citi, Icy, Marco, Andre, Olivia, Craig, Pia, Alex and Reese. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptitch Club. Dave, explain what that means.

This is our Hall of Fame, our Clubhouse, where people have been supporting the show for three consecutive years or above on the shout-out level. I've already given them a shout-out of nickname a few years back, but for now, we induct them into our Hall of Fame. They come on in, and there's everything in there. There's music. There's food. There's drinks. There's air hockey. There's ice hockey.

There's all sorts of stuff. And I want you really can never leave. But why would you want to ever leave? Lock the doors? Lock the doors. Yeah, there's everything you want in there. Deflepard. Yeah, we've had them play before.

So we've got three inductees this week. Now, if you don't know, Jess is only behind the bar. Obviously, tonight she has to be on the stage. But Jess, you're only behind the bar. You'll probably be heading over there later to make your cocktail for tonight. Well, I was thinking what inspired me was the gel-ignite explosive in this. So, what? So I made jelly shots.

Oh, fantastic. But every eighth one will explode. Hey, I like those odds. Seven out of eight. yeah they're very hot it's very hot jelly it's very hot jelly

the oven's broken do you understand now and Dave you normally book a band for the after party yes you're never going to believe it guys I've been in talks with these these gentlemen for many many months

and I've just so happened to book Leeds favorite sons it's the Kaiser cheese believe it but they will be playing exclusively our parody versions of their songs that we've been writing on this tour. Because Matt, what did I say the other night? I mean, this is not public ready, but Dave said after we were going to do one of our first shows,

he said, I propose a dinner. And I started singing into the tune of I predict a riot. And we've made a musical based on that. We started working in the succulent Chinese meal man. I think it's going to be called succulent Chinese meal, the musical. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum.

Yum, yum, yum. I propose a dinner. I propose a dinner. What was the, what did you do with Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby? Rubin, Rubin, Rubin. I say I wasn't ready, but we are, we're workshopping it. We're workshopping. I just want to make it very clear I'm not involved in this.

Just sort of, yeah, even when we're like going through security or whatever, she drifts off. Yeah. When we're having that conversation, I've been bringing up with some of the security members. Yeah. And they like it. I think we're getting a real groundswell of support for this. Ribbon, rubin, rubin, rubin, ribbon. What are some?

I can't remember any of the songs. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. They're a band from this city. You heard of them? Oh, never miss a eat. Never miss a eat. pretty good. Yeah, that's good.

Take a look, take a look. Yeah, that is fucking... That is good. I don't understand why weird Al Yankovic is so big. It's easy. All right, so we've got three inductees. Is there anything else we have to do before we bring them in? No.

Well, basically, I try and give them a nickname. Just tries to hype me up. You should stand up to do this. But if we've got a crowd in tonight, it'd be great if you could also. also hype me and the people running in up. If that... Yeah. We get Dave standing up for this one.

If Dave's standing up, then I have to stand up because I have to hold his butt. Yeah. I can do that like this. Yeah, you thought she was joking. There's nothing weird about this. This is actually... It's really supportive. This is our process.

We are artists. So I'm on the go on the door. You can picture me up the stairs down. Why are you swaying? You'll see it. so right. Very comforting, is it? Now I want to stop.

Come on. Guys, I'm trying to do something really serious. These people are waiting a long time for that moment. We're going to give it to them right now. Here we go. That sounded weird. Okay. Okay, that sounded weird.

So, I'm going to read out a name. If you hear your name, charge on in. You're welcome in forever. You're not allowed to leave. and Dave is emcing the night he's going to hype up the crowd with some what I would call quite weak wordplay Like it's quite laboured

I mean it's even worse than Nevermits an eat Somehow And anyway that's just too temper expectations Because you're probably Sitting here for the first time I'm going this is going to be fantastic Which it will

It is not going to be So I'm going to read out those three names Dave will hype up that person with the name. We're weak word player then Jess will hype Dave up because he needs it. Yeah. All right, here we go. We ready. First up, welcome in.

Oh, no. What are the odds of, no. Sucked the absolute fucking. Welcome in from Finnspang in Osteng Gutland in a country starting with S.E. Is that Switzerland? Sweden. Please. I mean, his name is the most Swedish thing ever.

Please welcome in Tommy Spenson. Tomi Svinson out of Tenson, yeah. How brutal is it to see that he actually is preparing? He's looking at the same list. It's not actual. He's always reading it. Dave. Do you need me to get that?

Yeah. second up from Albion Park and New South Wales Australia it's welcome in Karen Everie But I love Karen I genuinely the happiest I've seen you

And I was at your wedding This is a big moment This is so good It's a milestone And finally from Mount Barker in South Australia Please welcome in Alison Murn I'm Murn to you Alison

Did you, sorry, can I just double-chip, did you say I mern to you? Instead of I turned to you. Do you remember when Mel C had that song, I turned to you? Yeah. Thank you. So I was trying to do a bit of local, you know.

I thought it was I, oh, you were doing something about burn. Oh, and I thought yearn. Oh, I murn for you. Yeah. That's pretty good. Welcome into the club. What an honour for you.

to have it happen at the first ever live episode, Alison, Karen and Tommy. And that brings us to the end of the episode. Anything we need to tell people before we go, Boppa? That we love them, that we appreciate them coming out to see us live in person. And that you can find us on social media, yada, yada, yada, yada, suggest a topic,

yada, yada, yada, yada. Dave, boot this baby home. We'll be back next week, but until then, thank you so much, and Merry Christmas. Later! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

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