Two In The Think Tank - 480 - The History of Dracula

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

More than 125 years since the character debuted, Dracula remains the quintessential vampire. But why is he so famous and what led to him enduring for so long? On this episode we explore the life of Dracula creator Bram Stoker and his most famous character's journey through popular culture.Also, check out the two most recent episodes of Dave's spin off podcast Book Cheat where he explores the plot of Dracula with Cass Paige and Jackson Baly (episodes 106 and 107)This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:16 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.bramstokerestate.com/life https://www.npr.org/2008/10/30/96282132/defining-dracula-a-century-of-vampire-evolutionhttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/icelandic-translation-dracula-actually-different-book-180963346/ https://www.britannica.com/topic/Dracula-novelhttps://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/apr/21/100-best-novels-dracula-bram-stoker https://www.britishlibrary.cn/en/works/dracula/ https://lithub.com/on-draculas-lost-icelandic-sister-text/https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3csv0rvhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Dracula_in_popular_culture# Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone, this is Dave here with some exciting news. That is our 500th episode is on sale now next year Saturday April 26 we're gonna do a huge show at live at the Capitol Theatre and I'm amazed to say that in a few short days We're already at almost 50% capacity wall people have told us they're coming in from interstate even from overseas to come to the show Which is so exciting We won't let you down gonna put on a great 90 minute show with lots of special guests from across the history of the podcast. It's gonna be awesome. And you can get tickets right now at dogoonpod.com. That's Saturday, April 26th in Melbourne

for the 500th episode. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and of course, Matt Stewart. Whoa. Whoa, hey Dave. It's so good to be here in the year 2025. Yes, Happy New Year! Oh my gosh.

I'm still drunk. Oh. Woo! What were you drinking last night? Everything. Yeah. Yeah. Sambuca, though, mainly.

I can smell it. Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you. I love the smell of Sambuca. Yeah. In the morning. So yeah, let's party.

Let's do a podcast. Woohoo! So good. Nah, that's just acting. What? Yeah. You didn't drink Sambuca last night? No. Oh, there you go. Hey, Nah, that's just acting. What? Yeah. You didn't drink Sambuca last night?

No. Oh, there you go. Hey, Dave, this isn't acting. You and I are going to be doing our shows at Superb Studios on the 17th of January. Oh, yes. It's actually my news resolution to do a stand-up show with you and not cancel it. Yeah. Poor, why would you jinx yourself?

You don't do that one. Sadly due to illness in the crew, we had to postpone the recording at the end of last year, but now we've got the new date, Friday, January 17th, live at the Stupid Old Studios. It's me first. Then we have a little break. Then it's Matt's second. And before, during, and possibly after, the good people at Bod Rigi will be slinging up those delicious beers, those craft beers they have.

I'll have a specky juice. Oh yeah. Can I have a cosmic microwave, please? Oh my goodness. Their beers are to die for. I'd die for those beers. But the comedy will also be very good. To die for. To die for.

To laugh for. And Jess is going to be able to come. That's the benefit of the delay. Yeah. She couldn't come the other time cause she and now she had no excuse. Yeah, now I got no excuse unless something better comes up in the next few weeks, which God, fingers and toes across my friends. Impossible, that couldn't happen. Good luck. No. Finding something better than this. Yeah. Imagine everyone's year is going to peak on

January 17th. And we're also doing a 500th episode. Yeah! Yeah, big year for us. Oh my gosh, that's April the 26th, the big Saturday night in Melbourne at the Capitol Theatre, a proper lovely theatre. It's a beautiful theatre. It's a really cool room. I'm really excited about it. It's going to be so fun. So fun. And it's already over half sold out as well. Yeah.

And we recorded this a few weeks ago. Yeah. Please get on it. If this was, if not, one more ticket was bought, I think this would be the biggest show we've done in Melbourne anyway, just about. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, absolutely. Which is insane and so exciting.

Yeah, so tickets available for both the stand up and also our 500th episode at dogoonpod.com. Get on it. Love to see you at both of those. Get on it. Get on it. May I see you at both of those. Get on it. Get on it. May I explain how this show works? Just cause you know, it's a new year, new us. We've actually changed the format of the podcast dramatically and I'm going to

explain it now. No one told me. We pod to the death. One of the three of us research as a topic, often suggested by listeners, often voted on by listeners. Um, they, they live it, they learn it, they love it, and they bring it back to the other two who listen very politely, don't interrupt, never sass them, and don't go on dogshit riffs and tangents. And we always get on this topic with a question. Dave, to bring in 2025, everyone's favourite

report giver kicks off the year. It is your turn. Do you have a question to get us onto the topic? I do have a question. My question is, according to Guinness World Records, the good people of Guinness, who is the most portrayed literary character on film? On film. On film. Okay. Jesus. Oh, that's not bad. Is it a literary character?

Yeah, I think that, of course, being a real person and the biography being written about him doesn't count. OK. I think that Jesus would have been in more probably. Yes, I've got the list here. Jesus has been in more, has been portrayed more. But this is a very famous character we've all heard of, started out in a book and has been in a bunch of movies since.

Peter Pan. No, it's not a bad guess though. Frankenstein's monster. You are getting very since. Peter Pan. No, it's not a bad guess though. Frankenstein's Monster. You are getting very close. Oh, Dracula. It's Dracula. Oh! Well done.

Dracula has been in 272 movies as of March 2012. So the numbers only gone up since they've listed that record. He's as real as Jesus though, isn't he? Like Vlad the Impaler. You know we've already done the- True. You know we've already done an episode on Vlad the Impaler. My backup question was gonna be, what character connects previous topics?

Christopher Lee, Vlad the Impaler, the New England vampire panic, and the Year Without Summer. Whoa. Whoa. That's Dracula, of course those things. But what about, the devil is the most portrayed character in 849 films

as of March 2012. Oh yeah. Second most common screen character is Santa Claus, 819. Oh that's a good one. I'm not thinking of these as literary characters. Oh no sorry, that's why Dracula's literary. Oh gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. He's in his own category because otherwise he'd be like top 10.

But then there's the Grim Reaper, then Jesus Christ and God is fifth. Wow, Jesus beats God. Well, no, Dave doesn't realize this because he didn't grow up Catholic, but God and Jesus are one and the same. So I think put their numbers here that Dave and where do they come in? Number one. Still second to the devil. Oh no. Wow. But yeah, Dracula's the most-

Doesn't that say something about society today? It really does. It really does. Dracula's the most- Doesn't that say something about society today? It really does. It really does. Dracula's the most portrayed literary character. Sherlock Holmes is second. I was going to say Sherlock Holmes. That was one of my- that was one I guess. Ooh, Waldo.

Yeah. So many movies and classic TV shows. Yeah. Well, every time he appears on his TV shows, that as an appearance. That's pretty good. We'll have to write to the good people again. So let you know. I'd double check a few things, guys. Yeah.

I don't know how thorough your research is. Yeah. Because then like Poirot, so many episodes. So many. Like, I guess like Homer Simpson or something. Yeah. Or like someone from like Holby City or EastEnders or something that's been on for 38 years. But are they literary characters?

No. Oh. In my heart. In your heart. So we're talking about Dracula. Yes, this topic's been suggested by only one person in the hat, Adam Earl from Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds in England. But the reason I picked it is my most recent book cheat, episodes 106 and 107, the second

part came out yesterday, December 31st, are on Dracula. And I told Cass Page and Jackson Bailey all about the plot. And I sort of got thinking about it, started looking into why the character of Dracula is so famous and ingrained in popular culture. Like if I said, think of a vampire, nearly everyone thinks of Dracula. Yeah, I think of Edward Cullen, but yeah. I think of Nosferatu. Which is? Dracula. Dracula.

Or a ripoff of which we'll find out. Oh, which way? Well, we'll find out. So this basically is like similar to the first episode we ever did. Why is the Mona Lisa so famous? Why is Dracula so famous? Yeah. Let's find out.

Ooh. Wait, you haven't found out yet? Oh my God, Dave. Dave, that was, you're meant to do that first. Oh, I've got 18 tabs open. I'm sure the answer's here somewhere. We've been doing this for coming up to 10 years now. Yeah, but my God, Dave. That was you're meant to do that. I've got 18 tabs open. I'm sure the answers here somewhere. We've been doing this for coming up to 10 years now. Yeah. But new format, you said.

We don't research anymore. Oh, man. We come in and speculate. That would save a lot of time. I actually don't hate that. Yeah, I don't hate that. Why do you think Dracula's so famous? So do you know the author Bram Stoker? Yeah, I do personally. Great guy. Great guy. Sends a beautiful Christmas card.

Really good hang. Not a lot of brams around anymore. Not enough brams, dare I say. If you were, so his full name is Abraham Stoker. Would you go Abe or Bram or, you know. Bram's not even in there. Abe, bruh. Ham's in there. Ham, yeah, it's ham or bruh. Braham. Bra.

What's up, Braham? Abe, honestly. Probably. Yeah. Hammy. Pig. Pigsy. Piggy. Porker. Pork.

Porky. Porker. The porker. If my name was Abraham, I'd go by Porky. Porky. To answer your question. Thank you so much. Jackson Bailey accidentally kept calling him Bam Stroker, which like when editing, listening

back, I was like, that sounds like a porn star. Yeah. I like it. So Bram, Porky, Bam, whatever you want to call him. He was born on November the 8th, 1847 in Clontarf, then a popular holiday resort on the outskirts of Dublin in Ireland. A park opposite the house he was born in is now called Bram Stoker Park. I didn't know he was Irish. Yes.

Huh. There you go. You know I love Park. I didn't know he was Irish. Yes. Huh. There you go. You know I love Ireland. I love that place. The Emerald Isle. Yeah, you do love it. I thought I'd win you over with that. He was the third of seven children

born to Abraham Stoker Sr. Which is interesting, he got the junior, but he wasn't the first. Yeah, two girls first maybe. No, he did have an older brother as well. Right. William. Maybe William was born and the first. Yeah, two girls first, maybe. No, he did have an older brother as well. William. Maybe William was born and the dad was like, Abr- oh, no.

Not this one. Don't worry about it. Well, he's looking around the room. William. That'll do. Yeah, he saw a piece of shit that had a name tag on it that said William. He said, perfect. He said, yeah.

That'll do. And he pointed at the baby and said, that's you. So, his father, Senior, was a civil servant who worked at Dublin Castle. That'll do. And he pointed at the baby and said, that's you. His father, Sr., was a civil servant who worked at Dublin Castle and Charlotte Thornley Stoker was his mother. She was a descendant of a Protestant family from Western Ireland and together they had seven kids. Too many.

His older brother, William Thornley Stoker, became a famous surgeon and a professor and was even made a baronet. It's quite a big deal. He was the more famous of the two in their lifetimes. But little Bram's legacy would probably surprise everyone, including him. Oh, I kind of hate when they don't live through their own acclaim. Yeah. Sorry. I mean, you saying something for dramatic effect there.

And I was like, I hate that. It's really grim. It is. It's sad. They never know how influential on popular culture, how famous they are. Yeah. But he didn't. Anyway, young Bram was a very sickly child and was bedridden until the age of seven. Right. So very, very ill. There were times when he was he wasn't expected to live and he was subjected to blood letting and other medical cures of the time.

Blood letting. Why did they think that was a good idea? This kid has too much blood. Get some of this blood out of him. Yeah. Oh good, he's nice and pale now. Yeah, which is, yeah. That's what you want. Yeah, yeah.

Man, that's very, it's very vampiric though, isn't it? Totally. And like, part of the story, if you want to hear more about it, obviously in bookchats I go through the whole plot, but you know. Why didn't you invite us under the bookchart? Look, it's the elephant in the room.

I think everyone is wondering that. If you're going to tell two parts of one story, why have separate guests on each? Because Jackson Bailey four years ago said, hey, if you ever do Dracula, I want to be there. So where is he now? Bring him in. Come on in. Why are you making him wait out there? He's fallen over in the car park.

And we will not help him. We won't help him. Like, we will watch him on the camera. Look at him. Look at him He's fallen over in the car park. And we will not help. We won't help him. Like we will watch him on the camera. Look at him. Look at him flail. He's like a turtle on his back. So, being confined for so many years, he spent much of this time watching the lives of family and neighbours from his bedroom window and listening to his mother's stories of Irish history and legend. Many of the stories were dark and gothic in nature and would have an influence on his future writing. For a second, I almost thought you were going to say

he spent a lot of time watching, like, TV and that I remembered what kind of time we're talking about. He spent 38 years watching Holby City. Did he send us back to back? So he can't even watch TV. He's just got to watch family members and neighbors. Yeah, out the window. Oh. Or like when people walk past his bedroom door.

Hey! Hey, come back! What are you doing? What's that? What are you holding? Oh, cool. And he's like, that gives me an idea for a story. My favourite new trend of memes to hate are Gen X's posting photos of someone on a BMX

bike and saying something like, wish we could send our kids back to 1985, wouldn't survive five minutes. Send them, I reckon send them back to Bram Stoker's time. Let their blood out. Let's really find out how tough you are. But it, yeah, it's so funny. You couldn't, no one could get through my childhood. Yeah, like I did. What? I reckon they probably could. Habes did.

Yeah. What were you born in? What are you talking about? You born in the trenches of World War I or something? What are you talking about? And kids today- Not in 85. Kids today do go outside.

Yeah, yeah. It's fine. Yeah, it's just- It's relaxed. Real crook, nostalgia. I think nostalgia can be really good. Makes you feel nice and that whatever, but sometimes it just is unhelpful.

Mum used to kick us out the door after breakfast. We weren't allowed to come home till the sun went down. That sounds super unsafe. Yeah. They love the, yeah, they love saying, no, we didn't come home till the, don't come home till the streetlights go on. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I remember doing that. That's, it was okay, but it was like it was boring at times as going. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. I remember doing that. It was okay, but it was like, it was boring at times as well. And we did some pretty dumb, maybe slightly dangerous stuff. It's all right. Relax. Anyway. But the thing is we didn't talk about it when our pedophiles were in the neighborhood. Yeah. You just had to avoid Mr. Collins' house. Yeah. Everyone knows that. Just run past that spooky house.

Yeah. Just ride your bike particularly quick past that weird house. And if anything happens, just don't talk about it. Yeah. Okay. Don't talk about it. We'll be home before the lights, before the streetlights. So, he's in bed for the first seven years, but he made a full recovery and grew into a strong young man standing at six foot two. Whoa. Back then. Yeah, it's a tall guy. Gigantic. Big man.

Tall now. But you know what I mean? They were all small back then. Even more from the bloodletting. Think about how big he could have been. Yeah. He was probably like, he was going to be like eight foot. Yeah, he's going to be inconveniently tall. Yeah, I think that actually did him a huge favour. I take back what I said about bloodletting.

Yeah, it's good. I think it's great. Bring it back. I'm into it. Even more amazingly considering his bedridden start, in fact he nearly died as a kid, he became an incredible athlete and soccer player at Trinity College in Dublin, where as well as excelling academically, he collected prizes in shot put, weightlifting, high jump, long jump, gymnastics and race walking. Wow.

This guy can do it all. He smashed it. According to the Bram Stoker estate.com, he counted his recognition as Dublin university athletic sports champion, 1867 among his proudest collegiate achievements. Wow. Much like year seven high jump champion for me. Oh my God.

Well done. Thank you so much. I'm sure I've only brought that up once a year. Yeah. I feel like I usually ask, are you flopping? Yeah. Okay. I always ask that. This guy, he sounds to me kind of like a mix of you two. Oh, that's interesting. Like early sickly bedridden Dave, athletic. No, you give the vibe of somebody who's- I didn't know you back then, but were you not sick as a child a lot? No, but I was terrible at athletic endeavors. Your esophagus stuff didn't mean you're in hospital at the time having your bloodlet?

People didn't know about it. I'm sure it would have been bloodlet if we diagnosed it before 24. Yeah. I was thinking, who's this little wiener? Wiener at the beach. That's me. So that's my half and Jess is the- Well, Jess is the athletic one, but then your other, the third half, of course, is you being a literary type.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he also- And me being a vampire. Yeah, that's the fourth half. Yeah, oh, that's later. Spoilers. He earned a degree in mathematics, graduating with honors. So he did very well academically at university.

Like his father before him, he then began working as a civil servant at Dublin Castle. Ultimate nepo baby stuff. Yeah. You know, you can't get... It's the people you know. That is weird for a castle to work that way. I think generally most people who work in castles, they get the job through merit. Yeah.

So. For example, it was home to British royals in Ireland from the early 1800s to the early 1920s. Yeah, British Royals, for example. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. Perfect.

That was his day job, but at night he began working as an unpaid theatre critic for the Dublin Evening Mail. And I love this line from his- What? Why unpaid? It's the arts, you know? Well, to explain, maybe this explains it from his wiki page. Theatre critics were held in lower steam at the time, but Stoker attracted notice by the

quality of his reviews. Oh. Not good enough to be paid for, but good enough to read. And not good enough to be respected. No. No, because theatre critics, puh. I mean, I used to do CD and gig reviews for a website. I guess it was like that.

Were you paid? No, I'm paid. It was like, oh, you got to have the CD, you got to get tickets to a show. Yeah, it's probably the same kind of thing. Oh, it probably was. I was like, hey, you get to go see Shakespeare at night. Yeah. And he likes writing.

I was right about it. And he's still pretty young, I'm guessing. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's all about exposure. First few years of his, I've him working his day job as well. In 1876, he wrote a favorable review of a production of Hamlet starring Henry Irving, who was a very famous English actor of the era who became the first actor to receive a knighthood. Oh.

Sir Henry Irving. Wow, that's become a lot more common, hasn't it? It's really common. At the time, it would have been like, we're giving a knighthood to an entertainer? To an actor? That's weird. A lowly actor? That'll never take off.

And now we're like, ah, Sir Ian McKellen, right this way. Everyone who's ever been in a band in England is a now knight. Yeah. Irving was very impressed by Stoker's review of his performance of Hamlet, which he thought was insightful and even-handed, which I read between the lines as he just said, you're awesome. Yeah, it was nice to hear. Very complimentary.

Very complimentary, yes. He invited Stoker to dinner and they struck up an influential friendship, but more on that later. Ooh, bit of sizzle. Yes. So he's working at the castle during the day, reviewing theatre at night, as well as writing his own short stories on the side. The London Society published his story called The Crystal Cup in 1872. In the story, a young artist is taken away from his wife and forced to create works of art for a king who wants to have a great feast in his castle.

I didn't read it all. What's that got to do with art? Well, he wants to have a great feast, you got to decorate. He decorated makes a crystal cup. Gotcha. Which is art, a piece of art. Yes, it's got to make it nice for all the other guests. Honestly, for most of that, until the great feast, I was thinking how some people and genuinely not me, play The Sims with help, I guess make a sweatshop, a Sims sweatshop, not just have people

making art all day or making things and then selling it and making money off it. Oh, they sell it like in the real world. No, in the game. In the game. So you'll have your Sim, but then you you make all these other people, sometimes it's kids, and you put them in like a basement and that's like a little sweatshop and you don't work. Your Sim doesn't work because these people are creating stuff that then you just sell. Oh, right. Is this a possible thing in The Sims?

Yeah. But then is the point of it that they're in the basement making money, so you're upstairs, you can buy like the best fridge, the best couch. What a funny example of living decadently. You could buy the best fridge. The best couch. The fanciest fridge. A hot tub. But is there not just a cheat code you can type in and you get all the money?

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let those Sims go. Let them free. And that's why you don't get Sims. You don't get to make people suffer like Jess loves to. I said it's not me. I don't do that. I am the one who takes the pool ladder out of the pool.

OK, so then you are half a step away from a sweatshop in the basement and let's not pretend you're better than- No, I let them die with dignity. Waving for help. Anyway, please continue. So that's the Crystal Cup. It's his first published work. In 1878, Stoker married Florence Belcombe, who was described as a celebrated beauty. Whoa.

And whose former suitor- Her value. That's one of the few times that's a not not her value. Whose former suitor would go on to be a very famous writer himself, Oscar Wilde. Whoa, she has great taste. There you go. Florence. And he used to make her suits. Is that right?

That was her suitor. I like go. Florence. And he used to make her suits. Is that right? That was her suitor. I like the name Florence. Me too. Really cute. I don't like the name Belcombe or whatever it was. Belcombe? Belcombe.

I mean, I could be mispronouncing it. It could be Belcombe. But yeah, Florence is great. Belcombe is... I think Belle and Combe are both great by themselves. Florence Belle? Great. Yeah. Florence Belle, great. Yeah. Florence Cum, even better.

Love it. Yeah. Florence Cum. But Florence Belle Cum, it's clunky. It is. It's no good. You're right. When he's right, he's right.

So they got married, Stoker and Belle Cum. They would go on to have a son named Noel. Noel Stoker. I can't even say it has heard it out loud. It could be Noel Stoker, I'm not sure. It's Noel.oker. Actually, I haven't said it out loud. It could be Noel Stoker. I'm not sure. It's Noel. Noel. And the married couple moved to London after Stoker left his Dublin castle job, which he'd

been working out for a decade at this point. In London, Stoker became acting manager and then business manager of his friend, the aforementioned famous actor Sir Henry Irving and his Lyceum Theatre, a post he held for 27 years. Henry Irving himself was known as an actor manager because he took complete responsibility of the shows. Supervision of sets, lighting, direction, casting, as well as playing, of course, all the lead roles. First season after season at the West End's Lyceum Theatre and he was very successful and very famous. And kind of in Stoker's lifetime, this is what he's most well known for, being the manager of someone who is very, very famous.

As Stoker's duties as manager included writing letters, sometimes up to 50 per day for Irving, as well as traveling worldwide on his tours. According to Bram Stoker's estate again, Bram's public facing position, he also served as a de facto social host for the Lyceum's high profile guests, led to his acquaintance with many of the leading figures of his days.

So he met and hung out with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Wow. Alfred Lord Tennyson. Also Lord and Lady Randolph Churchill, who were Winston Churchill's parents. Oh, yeah. I think- did you tell me this recently that he grew up in, like, a manor, like, basically a castle and- Like, unbelievably big house. If you Google image Winston Churchill's family home, it, like basically a castle inside. Like unbelievably big house. If you Google image Winston Churchill's family home, it's like Downton Abbey. Wow. His mum was a socialite and his dad was also a political person.

Yeah. So, but then his parents hanging out at the Lyceum Theatre, they know Bram. And from the American tours, when Henry Irving would take the show on the road, he met Mark Twain, Walt Whitman, Theodore Roosevelt and Buffalo Bill Cody. Wow. Wow. A lot of big names there. So yeah, he's pressing the flesh with some famous people. Pressing some flesh.

But as the manager or assistant to this very famous man. I want to see the The Avengers version of this, you know. I love it when there's a team up. Me too. I think that's awesome. And I'm pretty- I'm getting pretty bored of Avenger things. Well, you know, I haven't seen one in a while. I reckon this is the way to bring it back. Well, you get Mark Twain, you get Winston Churchill's parents, Theodore Roosevelt,

Buffalo Bill, all together. Yeah. Buffalo Bill's, you know, like the- he's probably the same, the Archer guy. Yep. Then you got, you know, the Mark Twain is probably Captain America. Right. Yeah. Winston Churchill's parents may be one of them. Two of the Fantastic Four. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Fantastic Two. Yeah. You get Oscar Wilde in there.

Fantastic Three. Yeah, good one. Find someone else. Yeah, Lord Tennyson's playing the thing. Yeah. So he's hanging out with these famous people, managing this theatre for many years, many, many years. All the while he kept writing on the side. His first novel, The Primrose Path, was published in 1875 when he was 28.

It was serialised in five instalments in The Shamrock, a weekly Irish magazine. It took a while, but he followed it up with The Snake's Pass in 1890, 15 years later, and he had two novels. That did take a while. It did take a while, didn't it? Books take a long time to write, let me tell you. And he's got a day job, I guess. True, and it sounds like a pretty active, pretty busy day job.

Yeah, a lot of it is on the road too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 letters a day, that's like, that alone, I was like, poof, I don't think I'm applying for this job. Yeah, a lot of it is on the road too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 letters a day, that's like, that alone I was like, poof, I don't think I'm applying for this job. He should siphon a few words off each letter and put them in his book instead. Yes. You know, the most perfless words. Yeah. Oh, I didn't need that one. Yeah, check that out. Take that off. Like a new chapter. Yeah, I'll take that comma, put that over in my book. I needed one of those. Yeah. Beautiful. Fantastic. Yeah, we don't understand how writing works. His boss is reading the letter back going, there's no commas in there. Yeah.

This makes no sense. So in 1895, he had two novels, including the shoulder of Shasta. But two years later in 1897, he published the novel we all know him for, Dracula. Wow. For the novel, Stoker compiled extensive research and assembled over a hundred pages of notes, including chapter summaries and plot outlines. And it's believed it took seven years for him to write this one. There are many theories as to what inspired the character of Dracula. Robert McCrum writes for the Guardian.

Sorry, I'm going to have to interrupt you there. How do you feel about McCrum? It does sound, McCrum does sound like my crumb. McCrum! Which I like. Yeah. Robert McCrum. McCrum, and it's spelled.

Robert, McCrum! McCrum! It's spelled capital M, two small C's, capital R. Oh, McCrum! Yeah. I don't know if that affects you. Sounds like you, is that Robert? Robert. Yeah, it sounds like you've named your crumb Robert.

Robert, my crumb. So good to see you again. Like someone who doesn't have many friends. Someone who has a pet crumb. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've got heaps of friends. I've got my crumb, my toaster.

So many friends. So many friends. I'm very busy. I've got a very expensive fridge. I've got the best fridge. What? Did you get the smeg? So, my crumb writes for The Guardian, Stoker was inspired by his devoted service to the

great Shakespearean actor, Henry Irving. The idea of the vampire as a silver-tongued aristocrat like Count Dracula is mirrored in Irving's thespian mannerisms and his fascination with theatrical villains. So, many people say that. He based it a bit on his boss and his boss's portrayal of the baddies in Shakespeare. And also the fact that he's offstage is a smooth operator. Right. But I also heard that a lot of people like Irving was a dick offstage.

Bloodsucker. Yeah. Yeah. Now, he is, of course, said to be inspired by a previous topic, as you already mentioned, Vlad the Impaler. Vlad's full name was Vlad the Third Draculae, or Dracula with an A on the end, meaning that he belonged to the House of Draculaesti. But it is debated by some scholars how inspired he was. It could have just been a name that he pulled from a textbook, from this area of the world that he

based the story. Right. Even though Vlad the Impaler obviously did have a very fearsome reputation. Yes. As someone who would impale enemies. Yep. There was also the influence of the time, again from the Guardian, McCrumb. The literary culture was obsessed with crime, ghost and horror stories, all steeped in exotic sensation and jeopardy. Popular literature in the late 19th century saw a cluster of very famous novels that produced

new kinds of Gothic monster. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde about the splitting of the self in 1895. And H.G. Wells wrote about the invasion and destruction of London in the War of the Worlds in 1898. So that's the sort of year of these same decade these stories are being written. And I bet, yeah, there were like people from the generation four going, it's just everything these days monsters.

Let's have some real literature. Let's have some romance. Yeah. Like we used to have in the 1850s. Exactly. When people could write a book. Not this pap. And before that, people were reading Jane Austen going, what the hell is this bullshit?

Yeah, yeah. Where's the monsters? Despite its influence and status as the archetypal vampire, Bram Stoker wasn't the first to depict vampires in English novels. What? Unbelievable. The fuck? I thought it must have been the first.

I feel lied to by you, Dave. I know, I have been spreading misinformation about this for many years at this point, but I'm here to come good and tell the real truth. I'm here to come good. I'm here to McCrum good. Previous to this, vampires that sucked the life of their victims appeared in different folkloric traditions around the world. There's some in Europe, China, the Caribbean, all over this idea of a creature that comes

and sucks the life force out of people, whether it's blood or Jess motioning with her head to Matt while he's not looking. I thought he was looking, to be fair. I was hoping to make the joke about him to him, you know, but instead it felt mean because he wasn't looking. What were you saying? That I would suck the life out of you? Is that the joke about him to him, you know, but instead it felt mean because he wasn't looking. What were you saying? That I would suck the life out of you? Is that the joke? That's not very funny.

Sucks the joy out of a room, tell you that much. No, that's me again. So, it'd be hard to say which culture produced the first vampire story, really, because there's a lot competing. But the very first literary vampire first appeared in 18th century poetry before becoming one of the stock figures of Gothic fiction with the publication of John Polidori's The Vampire in 1819. That's hard to dispute. Vampire spelled with a Y-R-E. Ah, yes. I like that.

Vampire. Oh, yeah. Is that how you say it, Dave. Vampire spell with a Y-R-E. Ah, yes. I like that. Vampire. Oh, yeah. Is that how you say it, Dave? Vampire. Vampire. Yeah. I assume so. I assume so as well. And new structure. We just get to say what we want now.

Yeah. And that's the new truth. We don't have to research shit. And we don't take feedback. Absolutely not. No feedback. Turning off the comments. Normally we're very open to it. Normally we're very receptive and we take't take feedback. Absolutely not. No feedback. Turning off the comments. Normally we're very open to it. Normally we're very receptive and we take it really well. It never catches us in a vulnerable moment

where maybe we're feeling a little fragile. Never ever. I wish I hadn't read that out especially on YouTube. Oh my God. I wish I hadn't read this on my wedding day. Why are you in the comments on your wedding day? I wish I hadn't read this on my wedding night. Sorry, babe, give us a second. I was already feeling pretty glum.

I'm just reading some YouTube comments from five years ago that I missed them somehow. Don't worry, I'm catching up now. I've got the feedback flop, as they call it. So John Polidori's The Vampire. This was taken from the story told by Lord Byron as part of the contest where Mary Shelley came up with Frankenstein as spoken about on the number one block episode of 2024, The Year Without Summer. What an inspiring weekend that was.

The first vampire story comes out of an English literature and then also Frankenstein. Amazing. Pop culture experts, Sir Christopher Frayling. That's how open they are with knighthoods now. A pop culture expert is now going. Yeah, you're a sir for sure. Sir Christopher Frayling. For's how open they are with knighthoods now. A pop culture expert is now going. Yeah, yeah. You're a sir, for sure. Sir Christopher Frayling. For your service to popular culture.

I dub thee Sir Christopher Frayling. I guess if you're an expert in popular culture, you're basically a historian, right? Yeah, I think it is for like historical contributions in the field of popular culture. Yeah. Which, let's be honest, that is a field, but it just sounds funny. It does sound very funny. He's the popular expert, Sir Christopher Frayling. He described it as, the first story successfully to fuse the disparate elements of vampirism

or vampirism into a coherent literary genre. So that's a game changer, The Vampire in 1819. Then in 1847 came Varney the Vampire, which Jackson Bailey introduced me to. Oh. He's really into vampires. It first appeared between 1845 and 1847 as a series of weekly cheap pamphlets of the kind then known as Penny Dreadfuls. Have I changed my name in the group to Penny Dreadful? You are Penny Dreadful. Yeah, yeah. Inspired from an episode that I don't think we've even released yet.

Yeah, wow. Yeah, it was one of the one of the live tours. Yeah, live in Manchester I told a spooky tale. Yeah, and Penny Dreadful was mentioned and I was like, that's it. That's my new nickname. Varnie the Vampire. This has got a lot of Varnie the Dinosaur vibes. Yeah, it's so good.

Jackson was saying like, imagine if that had been the one and now we're all like a spooky figure appears. Oh, Barney, vampires here. Yeah. It's so good. I'm just writing down Penny Dreadful as a potential name for a sim. Oh. Barney?

Is that coming up? Barney spelled how? V-A-R-N-E-Y. V-A-R-N-E-Y. Barney? Oh, I don't mind that. What about Robert McCrum? Robert McCrum is really good. Robert McCA-R-N-E-Y. Farnie? Ooh, I don't mind that. What about Robert McCrum?

Robert McCrum is- Robert McCrum is really good. And it's M, two small C's, big R. Correct? Dr. Locke has for you, M. Got it. They're all in there. I think the guy who played Ernest was Varnie, wasn't he?

Is that right? Who played Ernest. Yeah, you know that comedy character from the 80s and 90s? No. Ernest. Ernest saves Christmas. Ernest blah blah blah. Oh, that's super vague somewhere in the back of my mind, but not, I don't know, but I assume you're right because you're usually right about these things.

Yeah. He was a Varnie. He was a Varnie. It's a great name, but you just don't hear it that often. Varnie the Vampire. Let's bring it back. The alliteration sort of takes away the spooky element. Yes. Oh, how do you say it? Varnie the Vampire Let's bring it back. The alliteration sort of takes away the spooky element. Yes.

Oh, how do you say it? Varnie the vampire. And can I just pull you up on something, Jess? We were recently recording season two of our D&D campaign. Yes. Which is coming out at the end of January. Very exciting. We had a lot of fun.

I know where this is going. First episode. And I had to name a horse. Yeah. So I pulled out my phone. I'd written down a list of potential character names for D&D. And I was mocked in the room. I was ridiculed. Yeah. So I pulled out my phone, I'd written down a list of potential character names for D&D and I was mocked in the room. I was ridiculed. Yeah. Only to now discover that you have a list of potential sim names. That was a brand new list I just made. Oh

my god. And your names were not Penny Dreadful, which is a pretty funny name. Penny's a good name. Yours were Russell Kitchen. That's my horse, Russell Kitchen. Simon something? Simon Pebble. Simon Pebble. Alan Sorte. Alan Sorte is ridiculous but amazing. But your list was extensive.

Yeah, I've got a lot of names. That's also a Terry Sharpener, my character. I'm a gnome artificer. I'm a mobile horse mechanic. I will fix your horse with mechanical parts. And I'm Terry gnome artificer. I'm a mobile horse mechanic. I will fix your horse with mechanical parts. And I'm Terry Sharpener. So that's coming up in a new season. Yeah.

And it's going to be a lot of fun. It was so much fun. I was telling a friend, Amy, about this and she was like, Terry Sharpener, that's fun. Sort of like, because Terry cloth is very soft. So he's sort of doing a play on that with the sharp sharpener I'm like I doubt it. Yeah I am not operating on that level that's good stuff. But now is your opportunity to absolutely take credit that you are operating on that level. Sorry yeah Terry Cloth Amy gets it finally. Yeah finally somebody gets to that deep cut I was going

for what a funny reference I was making. And now you look really cool. So if you want to hear the first two seasons of our D&D campaign and also subscribe to the new one, I should have said that's on Patreon. If you're looking for it, patreon.com slash duguanpod. Very exciting. So the Penny Dreadful Varnie the Vampire, it ran for a couple of years. It's furiously attributed to James Malcolm Rymer and Thomas Peckett-Prest. Oh, that's really good.

Write it down. Yeah, couple of fun ones. TPP, Thomas Peckett pressed. Oh, that's really good. Write it down. Yeah, couple of that ones. TPP, Thomas Peckett pressed. I don't typically do a double barrel surname, but I like it. I like it too. The author was paid by the typeset line. So when the story was published in book form in 1847, it was of epic length because they're getting paid per word, basically. The original edition ran to eight hundred and seventy76 double columned pages over 232 chapters.

Altogether, it totals nearly 667,000 words. Whoa. For context, Dracula is about 450 to 500 pages and like a Penguin Classic's small, small type edition, and that's only 165,000 words. Wow. So this is like 2000 pages of Penguin Classic. If you want to read all of Varnie the Vampire. Whoa. Right.

And that's maybe part of the reason it didn't take off as much. It's just so inaccessible to get your head around. Yeah. It's like two war and pieces. They couldn't have split it up a bit. Well, I think they did, week to week. And then at the end, they're like, all right, put it together. That's massive. Many of today's standard vampire tropes originated in Varnie.

So we do have to thank Varnie. Varnie has fangs, leaves two puncture wounds on the necks of his victims, comes through a window to attack a sleeping maiden, has hypnotic powers and superhuman strength. All these things. Dracula's got those too. Okay. And this is much earlier, this is 1847. So whilst Bram Stoker didn't invent vampires, he did, however, introduce or at the very

least popularise a lot of other classic vampire tropes that we would still recognise today. These are some of the ones that he introduced. Vampires casting no reflection. Mm-hmm. Vampires turning into bats. Oh, yep. In the book, Dracula can also turn into other animals too, and at one stage he's a dog. Oh, that's confusing.

Because at least if it's just one animal, you see a bat, you're like, Dracula, I know it's you, you know, but if you can be any animal, you'd be sus of every animal. And that's not fair. Because animals are great. My five year old, Grootle walks in and I'm like, have you been Dracula this whole time? Are you Dracula? Are you Dracula? You have to tell me. You have to. You legally have to tell me. You have to tell me.

Yeah, that's the law. That's the law. Yes or no? One buck for yes, two bucks for no. Yeah, any of those movies or books or whatever where, let's be honest, I'm talking about movies where there's a character that's shape-shifting character, as soon as they appear, you're like, well.

Okay. You can't trust anything. Yeah. Yeah. They're a dangerous trope to have in, As soon as they appear, you're like, well, you can't trust anything. Yeah. Yeah. They're a dangerous trope to have in. So I think they were smart to bring it back down to just- Just the vampire. Just the bat. Just the bat.

Sorry, just the bat. Yes. And the vampire. Yeah. The vampire bat. Vampire bat. He also introduced vampires aversion to garlic and crucifixes. See, I'm aware of all of these, but the Varnie, well, the puncture holes and stuff, I guess. And the fangs?

Fangs, yes. But like a couple of others, I was like, oh, okay, I didn't know that was a vampire thing. Maybe superhuman strength. Yeah. I don't think I was either, but in Dracula, for example, they say he's got the strength of 20 men. Yeah, I can imagine that being pretty strong. You see Buffy though?

Like they'll throw people around. Yeah, that's true. Okay, maybe it's just going through a window. I was like, oh, is that a vampire thing? So, Varnie can fuck off. Bart, you know, when he's a vampire, he's gonna tap it on like, Lisa's window. Yeah, and in Dracula, like the bat, he turned into a bat and like, he can't get through the window because they've shot the window and he just sort of batters against it. Because there's a rule in Dracula that he can't come into your house.

Unless you're invited. Unless you invite him. And but once he's been invited, he can come and go as he pleases. Right. They use that in Buffy. Ah, there you go. Yes. I think that he introduced that that as well. There you go. As well as the-

Why would you introduce- Why would you let him into your house then? I think you wouldn't realise that they're a vampire. Yeah, like he might come to call on you and be a salesman or some description or- No. Oh, I'm so sorry. I need a glass of water, would it be okay? You bring him in, bang. Hey, I'm going to come back later tonight and I'm allowed to come and go as I please. Oh, okay.

That's actually, that's pretty sneaky. Which is why I never invite anyone into my home, except my five year old Grudel who's made his way. Oh my gosh. What about Sunlight? When does that become a thing? Yes, so this is another one introduced by Bram, a virgin to sunlight.

In the book Dracula, he can go into the daylight, but his powers are greatly decreased and he can't change forms during the day. So if he's a dog at sunrise, he can't change out of that. That's fun. Or he can't turn into a bat and like fly away or whatever. That's real fun. He's stuck as he is.

So there's like chapters with the vampire dog just getting about town. Just like, oh well, I guess I'll go find some scraps for lunch. Yeah. I'd love a day as a dog. One day? Yeah. One day.

I'd love to have a day as everything. Yeah. Well, that's nice. I mean, they can't be, they are undead. They can't be killed, these things. Well, they can be, we find out that they can be killed, but they are, they don't die a normal death. Yeah. So you've got hundreds of years in theory. So you could do one day as every animal, really.

You're a millipede, then you're an elephant, then you're a rooster. Yeah. You do it like that rather than going, I'm a millipede and then I'm a slightly different species of millipede. Yeah. I'm one of the 400,000 species of beetle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mix it up. I think I've got beetles done. Beetles, okay. I've done the beetle.

Beetles are good Also introduced his blood being a life force that can de-age Dracula So the more he feeds the younger he appears we starts the novel looking like quite an old man, but then he feeds He turns up in London and like oh, who's this suave young youngish man? Okay. Oh Who's this suave young? He never becomes like a teenager or anything Youngish man. Okay. Oh, who's this suave? Youngish. Youngish, yeah. He never becomes like a teenager or anything, but it's like, he looks like, whoa, you were really old when we met now.

That was invented in Twilight. Yeah. Teen vampires. And they're stuck like that forever, are they? Yeah. Oh, that's awful. Yeah. So Edward Cullen has to go to school forever?

Is that what happens? Yeah. That's annoying. So they move around, but every new sort of of town they go to to keep up the appearance of this family. Oh, they're a family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they're not, but they they look like a family. Oh, right. Because a couple of them look older, they pretend to be the parents. Right. Because I have seen the Twilight movies, I quite enjoyed them.

But yeah, I didn't realise that bit that he's got to go to school all the time. Forever. I didn't even realise he went to school. The only thing I've seen maybe was just a photo there in a forest. So I just assumed it all took place in a forest. It takes place in a school for some parts. There you go. They live in a very nice house. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're wealthy. They're rich.

Yeah. But the dad is a doctor. Oh, that's right. Okay. The. Yeah. But the dad is a doctor. Oh, that's right. Okay. The vampire dad. Vampire dad's a doctor. Yeah. But they're also like super human, undead people. Super human. Human. And they don't sleep. Is that right? They never go to sleep. That would suck. And I just imagine just like the, you know, you put money in the bank account 17 centuries ago.

It's just been... Crueling. Yep. Yeah. The interest. Yeah. I mean, I can't do the math, but I reckon you'd have 15, 20 bucks a year. Every year. I think so. And that's yours to spend as you want? I'd be careful. Once you take it out, I think the interest stops. So it's got to stay in there.

Yeah. Can't touch your money. But you can look at it. You can look at it. That's really nice. You can go and visit the bank and say, can I have a look at my 20 bucks? I'm going to say, yeah, it'll cost you three bucks. Yeah. All right. Worth it look at it. You can look at it. That's really nice. You can go in and visit the bank and say, can I have a look at my 20 bucks? I'm going to say, yeah, it'll cost you three bucks. Yeah, all right. Worth it.

Worth it. So Dracula is, did you know this? An epistolary novel. So it's told in like found documents, completely told in diary or journal entries, letters, and then there's a couple of transcripts of newspaper articles. Oh, I did not know that, actually. And I have to say, I was a bit sceptical about that. I was like, oh, is this going to get old?

It really, they really pull it off. Oh, wow. So you hear from most of the characters. A weird thing is that despite being the title character and the one we all know, you never hear from Dracula's perspective. It's all about the people that are combining to try and defeat him. Right. There's stories of what happened and they're all apparently compiled by one of the

characters and that's the document we're reading in order. So it goes from Mina Harker's journal, then it goes to Dr. Seward's diary and all these different notes and then it might be like you hear about, oh, weird story of a ship arriving and everyone's disappeared on the ship except the captain is dead, but he's tied himself to the wheel of the ship for some reason. And then in his diary entry he explains that there was a weird figure on board and that everyone started disappearing. And the only animal that's alive is a dog that runs off the ship and you never see the dog again.

Wow. That's Dracula as a dog. Oh, OK. This sounds great. Yeah. Yeah, I can understand. If you ever cover it on Bookcheek, should I be honest? I actually loved it. I gave it a full five stars. I thought it was because I was a bit like, what's it going to be like?

I thought that because it's like, you know, it's a game changer for the horror genre and the vampires, but that's been redone so many times over the decades. I thought it might look quite hack. Yeah. Even though it is so inspirational. But it's awesome. It holds up. I really loved it. Yeah, I can totally understand what you're saying

about like going into that going, oh, this is going to be a bit tedious. Yeah, or diary after diary, but it's really good. The way it's told and it jumps between the characters. But nearly everyone else gets diary entries except for Dracula. And I'm like, where's the count? Honestly, maybe he's just a little bit misunderstood.

It's a little bit biased. That's true. Just saying. I think that, you know, when you watch a TV series and there'll be one episode where they've tried to be a bit more arty in whatever way, you're like, ah, this is gonna suck. And nearly it always does.

Yeah, it does. They try out for something, which is fair enough, but I'm like, ah, I like this show. Exactly, you're onto a winning formula. You're up to season eight for a reason. Yeah, yeah, let's not do something different now. Let's not do the found footage thing. Yes.

Yeah. Only murders in the building did it with, it was basically like that, only it was all cameras. Everyone had a camera, so they did an episode from everyone's perspective. And it started and I'm like- And hidden cameras and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, but there was one episode of that show that there was a character who's hearing impaired

and the whole episode was silent. That was interesting, yeah. That was really well done. Yeah, that was well done. That was really cool. So Stoker's working title for the novel in manuscript until a very few weeks before publication had actually been The Undead. And then at the last minute changed to Dracula, as we all know. A play script version of Dracula or The Undead was performed as a read through at the Lyceum Theatre, where he was the manager. On Tuesday, the 18th of May, 1897, only two paying customers came to see the play,

but it wasn't actually considered a failure. The only reason they performed it at all was to establish copyright of the story. Oh, OK. So they got a date with, hey, we perform this live. So copyright proves that this is when it was written. Ah, OK. So they were being pretty, yeah, they were pretty confident it was, they were onto something. I'm not sure if he did this with lots of his novels. And because he had access to the theater, I think that it was just easier for him to

do. The story had a prologue, five acts and then 40 separate scenes. Not a lot of rehearsal, so I'm not sure it was worth seeing anyway, but once it's performed, done. Imagine being one of those two paying customers. I was there. What? Is there an intermission? Yeah, I got to go. two paying customers. I was there. What? Is there an intermission?

Yeah, I got to go. I hate this. Yeah, people are like, this sucks. No, this is going to be one of the biggest classics of all time. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah, absolutely. Good luck to you. I completely agree.

Yeah, in a hundred years, people would definitely be still talking about this. As if. As if. That. You know 1897, that year is when the VFL. Wow, do you think that's the correlation? Could be. But isn't that interesting that it just feels like those things happen at different times.

Yeah. Do you think that one of the two people was so bored in there that they created a new game in their mind and then they went out and they founded what would become VFL? We can't prove that that is not what happened. Yeah, even though the game had existed for quite a while before the competition, but you would know that from episode two of this show. I'm sure you remember that pretty well. Episode two, why is the AFL so famous?

Every topic we do. Why is this so famous? That is basically why the Spice Girls are famous. Yeah, let me tell you. According to Mental Floss, he asked his friend and boss, the famous actor Sir Henry Irving, to appear in Dracula, like the reading. But he reportedly refused saying, the script for Dracula or the Undead was dreadful. Okay.

So he read it and he didn't get it. He filled him with dread. Is that what it means? Yeah. It made him feel, this is so scary. Yeah. I can't possibly say this out loud. Yeah.

I'm too spooked. So he gets the performance, he's got the copyright. The first edition of Dracula appeared in bookshops one week later in May 1897, priced at six shillings in a print run of some 3000 copies bound in plain yellow cloth with a one word title and simple red lettering that had to be amended at the last minute because he changed the title to just Dracula. It had good reviews and people liked it. Arthur Conan Doyle, who obviously had met at some stage, wrote to Stoker to tell him,

quote, how very much I have enjoyed reading Dracula. I think it is the very best story of diabolical stuff, which I have read for many years. That's very nice. And his mum liked it. Charlotte Stoker told her son that, no book since Mrs. Shelley's Frankenstein, or indeed any other at all, has come near yours in originality or terror.

Oh, that's nice. Thanks, mum. That's lovely. And was Conan Doyle, he was famous in his life. So that would have been a bit of a thrill to get that feedback from him. Yeah, getting a letter from him like this. He's a bestseller already, yeah. Yeah, that would have been a bit of a thrill to get that feedback from him. Yeah, getting a letter from him like this, he's a bestseller already, yeah. Yeah, that would be nice. And the mum, what's she done?

Why is she even having an opinion on this? She's a socialite. No, no, no, wrong one. No, her, uh, she came up- Did she, like- The Protestant family is all we know about her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he, was he like, yeah, why are you telling me this?

Don't care. I, how many books have you sold? Your opinion means nothing to me. Shut up. Are you proud of me? I don't care. I don't care. Why are you even, why do you think you can even nothing to me. Shut up. Are you proud of me? I don't care. I don't care.

Why do you think you can even talk to me? I help this guy act at a place. Okay. I'm important and busy, mum. And then on the side I write this book, which is, yeah, like you say, it's great, but obviously. Fuck.

Fuck. I'm going to my room, mum. Nah, thanks, mum. Nah, I'm going to my room, mom. Nah, thanks mom. Nah, I love you. That was too much. Means a lot. Sorry about that. That's really nice.

I'm, yeah, I've got a lot of, you know, things flowing through me. Someone's not enough caught up with it yet, but I'm having a late puberty. How old am I again? I don't know, it doesn't matter. You can go through late puberty anytime. Yeah. And as many times as you want.

Really? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. OK. Because it sucks. But if you if you want to do it. You had a late one. I've had three or four. Really? Yeah. Going to fit in another one. Yes. Just got to find the time. Yeah. Just got to like, where have I got that gap in the sketch?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. What do you do? How do you bring it on? Is it an inc the sketch? Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. What do you- how do you bring it on? Is it an incantation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Let's just check the Do Go On calendar that we've all shared together. It just says May Jess's puberty.

Yeah. So you're unavailable that much. It's pencils. Hashtag five. It's pencils. No, I'll still- I'll still be coming to work, but it's going to suck. Yeah, okay, right. You can have some feelings.

I'm going to be doing a lot of cry screaming. We'll just fade your mark down a bit. We'll barely hear it. Just be in the background. I'm going to call you both dad. So 3000 copies come out. Some people read it and the people that do like it, it gets good reviews, but it wasn't a huge hit and it did not make Stoker famous or rich.

Sure, but he did something great. People liked it. People liked it. That's nice. A great writer, Arthur Curnedore, said, you're onto something here. That's awesome. It was actually outsold by a novel called The Beetle. Okay.

Written by English writer Richard Marsh and released the same year. In the book, a shape- shape shifting ancient Egyptian entity seeks revenge on a British member of parliament, which sounds pretty sick. And it outsold Dracula six to one. Well, it was much more famous in its day. You know, the Beatle. Of course, that classic novel we've all heard of. I'll be doing soon on Bookshed, I'm sure. Astoka continued on writing and published six more novels. Oh.

So in his lifetime, it's just one of his novels. Yeah. He remained working for Henry Irving for over 30 years, or nearly 30 years, I should say, until Irving's death in 1905. And sadly, all good things must come to an end, and Bram Stoker himself died seven years later in London on the 20th of April, 1912. His cause of death is debated, possibly a stroke or maybe syphilis. How old would he have been?

Stoker by name. Oh, that's good stuff. Matt. Matt. That's really good. Stroke of my name. Banging people. What was his game?

Yeah. Syphilis, maybe. I don't know, maybe. He was 64 years old. Yeah. Okay. Back then, pretty good innings. Right.

Not super old, not super young. He was. Yeah. And I think it's part of this debate it is because in his lifetime, there's not that many records about what he did day to day because he wasn't a superstar. Yeah. He wasn't super famous. And now there are people who are like Stoker experts. But even then, I read them and I'm a bit like, well, that bit contradicts that bit. Yeah, right. Yeah.

When he died, his obituaries emphasized his his geniality, his long term friendship with the actor Henry Irving, his association with the power brokers of the day, because he knew a lot of famous people, and only in a sides the 19 books that he wrote. 19! Write one more! I know. Or ditch like four of them. Yeah. Did he die knowing that? Like, he could have whipped one out on the death bed.

Yeah, quick. Just get one. A novella or something. Get someone out. Yeah, something. Your syphilis is really playing up, mate. You just got to get something out. Come on, quick. Dracula was scarcely mentioned specifically at all, just at one of his 19 books.

In 1912, the year of Bram Stoker's death, his wife Florence commemorated her husband and his now famous book with the ultimate tribute by contributing her recipe for Dracula salad to a recipe book compiled by the local parish church. That's beautiful, Flo. That's really nice. Yes. That's how Bram would have wanted to have been honored. Yeah.

With a salad. And I hope if my husband's listening and I'm gone, honour me with a salad. Yeah. The bop salad. What's the secret ingredient? Oh, you don't want to know that. You think, yeah, you think like a cereal would have been more like an all bram or something would have been more appropriate. But when did the, you know how it's known as Bram Stoker's Dracula? That's what it's always called. Yeah. Is it- are you going to talk about that at some point?

Yeah, so that's from the 90s film. Right. Which we will talk about, yeah. Yeah, when we get to those in just a second. 1914, his widow also published the- another short story collection called Dracula's Guest and Other Weird Stories. Oh, yeah. I don't think she's quite as good at coming up with the titles.

No, Dracula salad. But at least that rounds him up to 20. That's 20. So I'm OK with that. 21 of you include the salad. Not sure how long that recipe was. Yeah, true. Well, it depends if it had like a long preamble about what the salad means to...

Summerhood in my country. So probably. Summerhood. Probably quite long. Just let me say that. I appreciate that. I, probably. Summerhood. Probably quite long. Just let me say that. I appreciate that. I liked it. Summerhood. Yeah. I think I meant to say childhood in the summer, but. Summer is good. Summerhood in the child works well.

Summerhood in the country. Summerhood. But apart from Dracula salad and this, you know, short story collection, other weird stories, people weren't really talking about Dracula. So how did the novel take off to become one of the most well-known stories ever written? Well, the answer is mostly film. Yeah. There's a couple of now lost films that depicted Dracula in the 1920s and in 1922, German director F.W.

Murnau made a silent expressionist film based on Dracula. However, it was an unauthorized and unofficial adaptation called Nosferatu. Oh. A symphony of horror. To get around the copyright, various names and other details were changed from the novel, including Count Dracula being renamed Count Orlok, then finally Nosferatu, which is an archaic Romanian word that is used in Dracula. So one of the characters, Van Helsing, refers to Dracula as being a Nosferatu.

Oh, I see. So it came out as this sort of this dodgy copy. Hey, we've changed enough. We can call it something different. We get away with it. It also introduced the much copied vampire trope of the main character having to sleep all day as direct sunlight would kill him. Remembering Dracula only weakens his ability.

So it also did take some tropes forward that we all know now. And probably for budgetary reasons as well. They're like, we can only do night shoots. So. Yeah. Well daylight, that's hard to light. You know, in a black and white film. Hard for continuity.

Yeah. We'll just do it all at night. Do it all at night. And so Van Helsink is someone I've heard of because I think at very own Hugh Jackman played him, right? Yes, he removed Van Helsing. At very own.

Is that a character that Bram Stoker came up with as well? Yeah, so that's one of the characters in, he's like the main expert on vampire lore, and he's like sort of the vampire hunter. So what happens in Dracula is, he's this old count living in Transylvania and this guy called Jonathan Harker Who's a lawyer goes over to this mysterious castle and on the way there's all these people being like don't go don't go And he's like, well, that's weird. Well, they keep making the sign of the cross at me anyway, and he goes there He's the solicitor because Dracula wants to buy a mansion in London and move to London And then when Harker gets there he realizes oh no

I'm a prisoner here. All the doors are locked. And then some spooky stuff happens, but he eventually tries to escape. And then the, uh, the count comes to London where a series of people that know each other experience him in different ways. He's- Ooh. That's an actual experience.

Yeah. He does start drinking the blood of this lady called Lucy and then her friend is a doctor who's like, I'm not sure what's going on. She seems so weak. I need to get an expert on this. My old teacher I'll bring in, he's the Dutch guy called Professor Abraham. I just realized that he put his own name as the coolest character, Van Helsing, who turns out is like, he understands what's going on.

No one else knows. And he's like, I think it's a vampire. And this is the only way to kill vampires. So then they go on this series of missions to try and catch out Dracula during the day after he moves to London, because during the day his powers are weakened. Yeah, okay. And yeah, so it's just their battle against this very, very old undead man who is moved to London essentially to try and every person he bites, that's part of the thing, they become a vampire.

Oh, he's recruiting. Yeah, he's recruiting. So, and then they're very own. They're another. So Lucy, unfortunately, passes and then another one, Jonathan Harker, who does escape Castle Dracula, his wife, Mina. Mina Harker. She also gets bitten. Mina Harker. Mina Harker.

Mina Harker. Mina. That's going on the list. Mina Harker, she also gets bitten. Mina Harker. Mina Harker. Mina Harker. Mina. That's going on the list. Mina Harker. For them it's a personal race against time because they've got to, if they kill Dracula before she dies, all the stuff goes away. But if he's still alive when she dies, she becomes the undead as well. So it's this personal race.

It's a pyramid scheme. Yeah. And it's very exciting with a thrilling conclusion, which I won't give away, but it's great. So that's the story of Dracula. Then they take Nosferatu. It's a very similar story, but they changed some of the names, a couple of location things. They thought that these represented a defense against copyright infringement. We've changed just enough.

However, the original German intertitles acknowledged Dracula as the main source. Probably shouldn't have done that because Stoker's heirs sued over the adaptation and a court ruling ordered all copies of the film to be destroyed. Oh. However, a few survived and has become a cult classic and is regarded as an influential masterpiece of cinema and the horror genre. Even if you haven't seen it, if you Google an image of Nosferatu, you'll probably recognise the face. Okay, yes, I'm picturing it in my mind right now, I reckon.

Yeah, his big pointy ears, sort of white, sort of scary face, washed out. Matt's looking up now, I wanna know, is this the same Nosferatu you're imagining? So if I just Google the word Nosferatu? Yeah. Because like Dracula, there's also been several adaptations of Nosferatu itself, including one coming out, I believe, in 2025.

Ah. This guy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Ah. Spooky. Spooky.

That's good stuff. In 1995, this is a little side note. The Vatican included Nosferatu on a list of 45 important films that people should watch. What? Which is so odd to me that in the 90s the Vatican were like, let's put together some movies that we like. It's kind of like when Obama used to make a list of songs he likes.

He still does it every year. That's one thing. So they asked Pope John Paul II, hey, what are your 45 best movies? It's like, okay, Nosferatu, Die Hard. Well, some other ones on the list include Citizen Kane, 2001, A Space Odyssey, The Wizard of Oz, On the Waterfront, and Shinra's List. Okay. Anyway, Nosferatu.

Made the list. There are a few sort of religious ones that I didn't recognize, but it's interesting. All those ones you said are just like, they're on all those lists. Yeah, just classic movies that we should all watch before you die. Yeah. But Nosferatu from 1922 made the list of essential Vatican viewing. Wow. Anyway, 1931, an English language film called Dracula was released by Universal, who had bought the rights for $40,000. It was the first adaptation with sound and the title character was played by Hungarian

actor Bela Legosi, who had played Dracula in a stage production in 1928 and 1929 from a script adapted by Hamilton Dean and John L. Baldesten. Writer Hamilton Dean was Irish and entered the theatre as a young man, first appearing in 1899 with the Henry Irving Company, Henry Irving of course being the actor that Bram Stoker managed, and he had long thought of adapting Dracula and contacted Florence Stoker, Bram's widow, and negotiated a deal for the dramatic rights. American playwright John L. Bordiston then rewrote it for an American audience.

I'm not sure what they changed when it made its way to Broadway with the then unknown actor Bela Lugosi playing the lead role of Dracula. And despite his critically acclaimed live performances on stage, Lugosi was not Universal Pictures first choice for the role when the company optioned the rights to the Dean play and began production in 1930. He was eventually cast after nearly every other character actor in Hollywood was considered. And they're eventually like, well, this guy's already doing it. I guess he already knows the lines. He knows it.

Well, yeah, it'll save us some time. The film was a major hit, but Lugosi was paid a salary of only three and a half thousand dollars, according to his wiki page, since he had too eagerly accepted the role. Oh. He didn't negotiate. Okay. He was desperate to be in Hollywood. Yeah, sure. That sounds great.

Thanks. Three and a half thousand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's this going to be a big hit that people talk about for several decades? Ah, shit. Damn it. I've just Googled Bella the Ghost and have a look at him and an article came up of this sort of goth couple who've gone to his grave and she's wearing like, she's got purple hair

and I think she's wearing fangs. And then look at this photo of her lying. Isn't that bizarre? Oh, wow. Lying next to his plaque on the ground, sort of like claw marks, making claws with their hands going like, oh, yeah, she's definitely wearing fangs. Top of his plaque. The ultimate tribute.

Yeah, hang on. Trevor, this is what it says underneath. Trevor and I were in Los Angeles last month. We always get a thrill from visiting a special location and styling ourselves in ways that reflect the mood. Perhaps you remember when he styled me as Issy Miyake and Vintage Couture at the San Francisco Conservatory of Flowers. Of course. How could I forget?

How could I forget goth Trevor? Trevor is... I read the whole paragraph, but really just wanted to say Trevor. Goth Trevor is fantastic. Goth Trevor. I was going to say Trevor. Gothtrever is fantastic. Gothtrever. Right on down. I was going to say that. That's a good sim name.

Trevor Goth. Trevor Goth. There is actually a Goth family. Really? Yes, they've been there from The Sims 1. Cousin Trevor's come to town. Great. Trevor Goth.

So Legosi, he played the role in the film. He really cemented the idea of what Dracula looks and sounds like in popular culture. Did he come up when you, did you look at Bela Lugosi's Dracula? Yes. Yeah, classic. He used his own accented voice, which became the voice you probably think of when you imagine Dracula speaking. Sure. OK. Kind of the I want to suck your blood.

Uh-huh. I just bet that's not what it sounds like. No. What would it sound like? I think it might sound a little something like this. I want to suck your blood. Yeah, thank you. He also introduced the long black cape and the turned up collar. He also had this slicked back black hair that you probably imagined too.

So he became like the archetypal on screen version, but it was missing one thing. According to NPR, Lugosi refused to wear any makeup that would obscure his face. He declined to play the original Frankenstein for the same reason. He's like, I could be Frankenstein with this face. So Lugosi's version of the Count never had fangs. So her wearing fangs at his grave, that's actually quite hack. Trevor, come on. Trevor, what were you thinking?

Trevor's a terrible stylist. Right, so he, because he was obviously like, this is a perfect face. Yeah. Let's not fuck with perfection. Even teeth, though, like even fangs. He counted that as part of his face. That's all part of my face. My perfect, perfect face. Look, I've got lovely teeth.

Yeah. He's an El Natural. Yeah. No braces. I've been flossing since five. The film was a hit and brought the image of Dracula into public consciousness. Lugosi was unfortunately typecast afterwards and really struggled to break away from the role. And he'd only made three and a half grand.

Yeah. And it was a huge hit, too. He played a few vampires, but officially only Dracula once more in the 1948 comedy spoof, Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein. Love a good spoof. It's pronounced spoof. Oh, is it? I believe so, Dave, yeah. Gosh. Never heard that word out loud before.

Legosi spoofed out loud before. Never spoofed. Okay, that got me. It's pretty easy to get you to be honest. That's true. Legosi's portrayal of Dracula established the character as a cultural icon, as well as the archetypal vampire in later works of fiction. He was so associated with the character

that when he died in 1956, he was buried in the cape costume. That's nice. Which Trevor would have experienced. Trevor works with La Camina and they've been, man, they've got a career. Can you do an episode on La Camina at some point? La Camina featuring Trevor.

She's been on CNN, National Geographic. All about distressing up the locations? I don't know. Okay. She's passionate about traveling all subcultures. Nice. All of them. Yeah. You know what that means though. Some pretty crook subcultures.

She hates cultures, but she's all about subcultures. Yeah, yeah. And I respect that. Submarine culture? I'm not into that. Yeah, I didn't think so. So he was buried in the Cape, although this wasn't his request, but an idea by his wife and son. I've also read at least one source say this was against his will. He didn't want to be buried on it. Which I can imagine he was typecast as his role for like

decades afterwards. That wouldn't feel super nice. And now it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, put him in the cave. Put him in the cave. That'd be funny. He's dead. What's he gonna do? And basically from there to present, there has been at least one pretty commercially successful portrayal of Dracula each decade in film, keeping the character in each consecutive generation's consciousness. He's never far away from pop culture. So it's sort of a self-fulfilling thing that every generation's like,

oh, yeah, like you said to a five year old Dracula, they probably know vaguely what that is. You say it to a 95 year old. They're like, yeah, I knew him. Yeah. I went to school with Dracula. Great guy. Great guy. Great guy. Misunderstood. Yeah, really. Very pale. Another iconic portrayal came in the 1950s from previous report topic Great guy. Misunderstood. Yeah, really. Very pale.

Another iconic portrayal came in the 1950s from previous report topic, Christopher Lee, who fixed the image of the fanged vampire in popular consciousness. He wasn't afraid to put the fangs in. Put a bit of makeup on. He didn't think he had a perfect face. So Bella thought he had a perfect face. Well, that was Jess's assumption when he said, I won't wear any makeup. I thought it might've been like, he's like, if I want to be in the movies, you know, I need people to know that I'm in it up to get the next gig.

I don't want to just be the monster guy. All right. Like if you wrapped up in toilet paper as the mummy or something, it's like, well, who's that? Yeah. Who's that guy? Yeah. Don't have any brand recognition. Exactly. Yes. Lee also introduced a dark, brooding sexuality to the character with English journalist Tim Stanley stating, Lee's sensuality was subversive in that it hinted that women might quite like

having their neck chewed on by a stud. Tim, is everything okay? Tim, are you all right? Bit of projection there, Tim. Yeah, maybe they like it. Yeah. What a start. Lee went on to portray the Count in six sequels in the 60s and 70s. Wow. All produced by Hammer Films.

And he played the character nine times in total. Couple of spoofs as well. Introduce... Sorry, and this included the 1976 French comedy horror Dracula and Son, because, yes, the great man Christopher Lee did speak French. Of course. It's like, yeah, I'll be in your French movie. Dubbed. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'll just do it.

No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm OK, thanks. Thank you. That's very, this is a very sweet offer, but Je m'appelle Chris. Je m'appelle Chris. Jemma Pell, Chris. Wee wee. Dave, do you know that Bella Gossie was in Murders in the Room Org in 1932? Another one of your old book trade episodes.

That's true. The first horror story, some people say. Well, the first mystery. No, the first mystery, but with horror elements, which we won't spoil. Even though as discussed on the episode, the cover of the book that I got spoils the twist straight away. Completely ruined to suck you in. You're like, oh, it'd be weird if they had that on the cover of that. Wasn't anything to do with the story.

There must have been a second twist coming. No, that's it. In 1972, the blaxploitation horror film, Bl Blackula was released and became one of the top grossing films of the year and inspired a wave of blaxploitation themed horror movies. So it's also a different genres. There's comedies, elements. Some people play it up for being very, very scary. So there's another way people are accessing it on different levels is, you know, he's funny, but he's also scary sometimes.

Yeah, it's more accessible because I'm not watching anything scary. When I was a kid, there was a cartoon called Count Duckula. Yep. Oh, yeah. I think. Yeah. I feel like I can picture Leslie Nielsen as a Dracula. Yes. That's coming up too. That's coming up too. Because there was a brief dip in star power for The Count in the 1980s where Dracula rarely appeared in films outside of nostalgia themed works like The Monster Squad or Wax Work in

1988. And that was when they had a bunch of different monsters together. That's so funny. It's like, yeah, quiet decade. It was only a few movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't the leading man. There was nothing called Dracula on the poster.

But the character was brought back to the mainstream following the 1992 release of the Francis Ford Coppola directed film Bram Stoker's Dracula. Which is what I think you're probably thinking of. Yeah, I just thought at some point like they needed to put that on for some reason, but it was just a movie is why I had that. I have heard someone, one of the Dracula experts that I listened to on a BBC thing say that part of that was it's called Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula. And it's to give it an air of authenticity because it claimed at the time that this is the most close to the original text, this one.

And the expert was like, it absolutely is not. But it makes it feel like, oh, it's not any Dracula. This is the Dracula from Bram himself. Also, Francis Ford Coppola. It stars Gary Oldman as the Count. Oldman's portrayal of the Count won him a Saturn award. Of course, he nails it. He's the best character actor in the biz. It's very good. And inspired new staples to the characters, such as long hair and a more prince-like appearance opposed to the Count-like one.

Can I tell you something about Gary Oldman? Because you guys said to watch Slow Horses, so I haven't watched heaps of it, but I've seen a few episodes. But one of the best things he says in it is he's really like he's this grumpy old character who, like, basically hates but secretly loves his team. He's always there for them, really. Yeah, but he's like he hangs shit on them all the time and they're not quite following what he's saying. At one point he goes He goes, oh god catching you look ups like explaining Norway to a dog We quite that a lot of my house. I thought that was so funny explaining Norway to a dog

Good stuff, Gary. He's great in it. He's great at everything Yes So he was very popular and the film was a critical and commercial success and inspired a small wave of similar high budgeted gothic horror romance films that were released in the 1990s. Horror romance. Horror romance. Horror romance.

That sounds like... Horror romance. Horror romance. I can imagine his character in Slow Horse is saying, horror romance. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. In slow horses saying horror romance. Oh Jesus So I can't possibly go through all the betrayals of Dracula because there's hundreds like I said But this is a list of actors that have played the count on film. It's quite amazing So we've already had Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, Gary Oldman, John Carradine in the 1940s,

Frank Langella who starred opposite Lauren Lawrence Liviaire as Van Helsing. Wow. Leslie Nielsen, in the Mel Brooks spoof, Dracula, Dead and Loving It. Okay, Dead and Loving It is very funny. It was apparently bombed at the time at the box office. It's the last Mel Brooks directed movie, but so far. Yeah, Space Force II's coming out.

Last directed? Yeah, finally in 1995, I think. Really? Yeah. So Men in Tiles was just before that, was it? Must think. Really? Yeah. Some men in titles just before that, was it? Must be. Oh, shit. Okay. But, um, I don't think you did very well at the box office at the time, but it's become

a cult comedy classic since. I haven't seen it, but I'd like to watch it. Now I've been in like vampire, because it spoofs all the Dracula tropes that I've been talking about. So that sounds funny. Ah, there's then also Gerard Butler, Gerard Butler in the hilariously named Dracula 2000. Oh my God, that sucks. The Wes Craven movie.

It's what if Dracula was set in the year 2000? Yeah. Dracula 2000. So good. There was some funny in the 90s where everyone started getting obsessed with the idea of 2000. Yeah. But. And then 2000 rolled around. It was fine. The Olympics were fantastic.

But then you're like, you're three years into the 2000 and you're like, oh, this is, this seems outdated so bad. Yeah. Like Fergie, you're, I'm so 2008, you're so 3000 and like, so Fergie, now you're so old. Yeah, that's a long time ago. That hasn't aged that well. Dominic Purcell plays him in the Blade films. Not the only Aussie, Richard Roxburgh

played Dracula opposite Hugh Jackman in the Van Helsing movie. Oh. Also David Niven in another 70s spoof. Luke Evans, Adam Sandler in the Hotel Transylvania film. They would totally be like kids of today. That would be their reference. Yeah, because they're really popular. They're like be like kids of today. That would be their reference. Yeah, because they're really popular. They're like huge box office successors.

Four or five of them. Yeah, they're all covered up at the box office. Sandman. How would the Sandman say, I want to suck your blood. Oh, I want to suck your blood. That's what you'd be to do. I don't know. But then he'd start yelling. That's what you better do.

That's what you better do. Give me the bird! Hey, who's the one here? You know, when he gets shouty? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He seemed like a kind of voice would be easy to do, but it was hard. I think you were doing a really good like 90s Adam Sandler. I loved it.

I think he's slightly less weird now. You know that Count Duckula, I keep getting distracted by something. That was that was a show from from 1988 to 1993. So I didn't say there are any popular 80s productions, but of course. But the guy who played Count Duckula is like that he's like a touch of frost guy, devil boy from the Four of Horses. Oh yeah, only Fours and Horses, yeah.

What's his name? His name is David Jason. David Jason, yes. David Jason. He's also a knight. That's terrible. That's his stage name, his real name is Sir David John White.

Wow. What a funny, yeah. I don't know if he did that. He can do it all. So you've chosen a new surname as a stage name and you've gone for Jason. David Jason. David Jason.

That's terrible. You Jason. David White's better than that. Yeah. I'm guessing it must've been another actor or something. It's just like Whitehall or something, you know? Like, anyway. David J. Whitehall. Yeah, yeah., like anyway. Or David J Whitehall.

Yeah. Yeah. Not David Jason. Jason, that's silly. It's not a good last name. It's not a good last name. You know, I guess the version of Dr. Van Helsing in the Duck version is Dr. Von Goosewing. That's cute as shit. I think we started there and then worked backwards. Yeah, absolutely. Also, Jonathan Rhys Myers played the character and last year, pretty recently, our man,

Nicolas Cage in the film Renfield. I like- Yeah. That's one of the- I don't- I think that might be the only one I've seen on that whole list. Oh, right. I haven't seen that one either. Was it good? Was he a good Dracula? Yeah, I thought it was great. It was really fun. Nicholas Holt in that as well? Yeah, he's the Renfield guy.

So Renfield is a character in Dracula. He's like a- he's a patient in the mental asylum next door to the house that Dracula takes over. Okay. But also something weird about Nicholas Holt is he's in another Dracula movie that's coming out in 2025. Oh. Possibly as the Count himself. Wow. So it's weird in a couple of years to be in two separate Dracula adaptations.

Yeah. There you go. And he's also the- he's young with the beast from- what's it called? X-Men. X-Men. Ah, yes. He becomes Dr. Frasier Crane when he's older. Whoa. Whoa. I haven't seen the X-Men movies.

Me either. I thought you were a big Marvel type, but more your MCU. Yeah, I'm more, yeah, I like the Avengers and that kind of universe. Yeah. I mean, they're bringing them together. Yeah. I should do it. I'd be keen to watch that. I loved the cartoon.

I wasn't inviting you. You can watch it at your house. Yeah. Obviously. I'll watch it at my house. You can watch it at your house. Yeah, yeah. Well, obviously. I'll watch it at my house. You never brought me down to your house. There's a cartoon series that came out last year or the year before, which is based on the old one. It's called X-Men 97. Oh, cool.

Which you might enjoy. Had the best theme song. Do do do do do do. Do do do do do do. Do do do do do. Do they bring any bells? No. Yeah, it does. Yeah, I wonder if they use, I think they use that in the movies maybe? Oh, do they? Yeah, it probably has some tied to a really old production that I don't know about.

I don't even know the 90s cartoon. But I loved it. It was great fun. Cheese TV, I think. Classic. Dracula has permeated all forms of culture, both popular and scientific. In 1964, artist Andy Warhol directed a silent film called Batman Dracula that stars Jack Smith, who plays the roles of both millionaire Bruce Wayne and Count Dracula. It was made without the permission of DC and screened

only at Warhol's pop art exhibits. But he's been on screen with Batman. He's also fought Frankenstein and Billy the Kid in the movie Dracula versus Billy the Kid, which has the tagline, the world's deadliest gunfighter, the world's most diabolical killer. Spoiler here, Billy wins. What? Yeah. What, he uses wooden bullets? I think so.

Silver bullets. No, that's the wolves. The Lupin? There is something about that where he uses a special weapon to kill him because he realizes his gun's not working. Dracula has popped up all over the place and appeared on all manner of TV shows. Scooby Doo, The Simpsons, Buffy, which is mentioned, Doctor Who and Gilligan's Island to name but a few. Wow.

Gilligan's Island. So when they said and the rest. They mean Dracula. That includes Dracula. Interesting. They mean Dracula. That includes Dracula. Interesting. Possibly his most famous tribute on TV began in 1972 when Count von Count debuted on Sesame

Street, who is a direct parody of Bela Lugosi's betrayal of Count Dracula. Of course. One! So good. He's so cute. So cute. He's a great character. He's probably the best character.

Yeah, he's got to be up there. Yeah. Oh, so many greats. Kermit, of course. He's so cute. So cute. He's a great character. He's probably he's probably the best character. Yeah, he's got to be up there. Yeah. Oh, so many greats. Kermit, of course. Kermit. Oscar the Grouch. Miss Piggy. She's not on Sesame Street.

No, but when you think about it, do you think you and I have a bit of a Kermit and Miss Piggy kind of vibe? Yeah, which one's which? I'm Miss Piggy. I'm Kermit the Frog. Because you're sweet and nice and I'm always yelling at you. Miss Piggy is not self-aware. True.

I barely am. And in the animal kingdom, there are multiple animals named after Dracula, including a species of parrot, a fish and even a type of dinosaur called the... God, I'm going to have a crack here. Brady sinememe. How do you say CN? Brady sinememe. That's better. Brady sinememe. Draculae. Oh, yeah, that's good.

I like it. And here's one for who knew it. OK. Australia has an arachnid that uses large fang like petal palps or pincers to grasp invertebrate prey and crunch it into pieces before sucking out the juices. That's a bit full on. Named for this method of dispatching victims and after Bram Stoker, the author of Dracula, its scientific name is Draculaode after Bram Stoker, the author of Dracula, its scientific name is Draculaides bramstokery. Oh, wow. Wow.

I got both in there. That's good. All right. Is that an official- Draculaides bramstokery. Is that an official submission? Yeah, put it in. Will the question be like, which of these species is named after- I've used a few of your questions you've given me.

The Velvet Frog? Yeah. Which I discovered was the nickname of, was it Mel Torme? Mel Torme, yeah. So I messaged Matt when I was like, man, you've got to use this. This guy's nickname is the Velvet Frog. The Velvet Frog. So the Dracula used Bram Stoker as the type of arachnid.

It's technically not a spider, but it's one of those ones. It's not technically a scorpion. Anyway, it's very rare and only five millimetres long, so you're not going to get bitten by it. It's tiny. Oh my God, imagine if that one that was four now and before. Fortunately for me, it's known to inhabit six caves on Barrow Island and two on North West Cape in Western Australia. So it's only in these very specific places. Okay.

Dracula has also appeared in a bunch of pornos. Of course. Including the- I want to suck your cock. That's gotta be it. It's right there. That's gotta be it. Including 1969's, nice, Dracula in brackets, the dirty old man.

Wow. And it goes for exactly 69 minutes. Yes. That's hot. This time- That's so. Yes, that's hot. This time. That's so hot. That's so hot. That is the hottest amount of time I've ever heard.

In 1978, another movie came out called Dracula Sucks, aka Lust at First Bite. Oh, and the tagline is this time the count is not just going for the throat. That's good stuff. Lost at first bite. Come on. I like it because they're also they're leaving us a little bit of the imagination there. What else apart from the throat is he going for? What is he going for?

Dracula? Dracula? Excuse me? Answer me. Where have you gone? Dracula, come back here. Dracula also appeared in the early hardcore pornography film Dracula and the Boys, also 1969, as the first homosexual vampire in film. Huh. Dracula and the Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys.

I think it's gone on to be its own sort of sub-genre. Nice. Gay vampires. Yeah. Nice. Vampires? There's nothing gay about vampires. Come on. Jeez. We haven't seen Dracula and the Boys, 1969. Don't- This is woke culture gone mad. They're making Dracula gay now?

The original manuscript for Dracula was thought lost, but it was rediscovered in 1980 in a barn in Northwestern Pennsylvania. Wow. It's kind of a long way from Dublin. Actually, no, it would have been written in London. The manuscript still is a long way, a barn in Northwestern Pennsylvania. The manuscript differed from the original text in several ways, including a different ending where Dracula Castle is destroyed after his death in a volcanic eruption.

But that doesn't happen. Missing the first 102 pages, billionaire Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen paid an undisclosed sum for the manuscript where it resided in his private library, which I feel really good about. Yeah, I think that the system works. Great. Now no one gets to enjoy it. Except this one billionaire.

Awesome. Imagine what he's doing. You know what these billionaires get up to. Oh my god. Probably forgot he has it. It's probably using it as like a survey at each page. Yeah. You're gonna get shit.

Who cares? Yeah, toilet paper. Whatever. Yeah. Toilet paper. I really hit toilet. I heard it straight away. I was like, she's gonna pull me up on this.

She can't let this go. I tried. There was a pause. Nah. I paused because I thought, go on, have a go. Toilet. I said toilet paper. Toilet. Toilet. I've got to go to the toilet.

I swear I don't use these hands like that. I misspoke. Oh no, I've got to go to the toilet. I'm so... Oh no, no. Oh, we're out of toilet paper. Oh no. God, I'll have to shower. I'm in the toilet. Oh, oh.

Occupy, I'm in the toilet. All right. I had an Uber driver recently who, I'm like, do you talk to this like this to all customers? Because he would say, fucking every fourth word, fucking. And he was really keen to tell me exactly where the Sri Lankan restaurant he enjoyed was. He's like, no, I was fucking- the great cuisine and fucking great value as well, actually. It was thirty five dollars a head. All he could eat. Fucking so fantastic.

I reckon he says toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Such a great restaurant. They keep the toilets really clean. Yeah, beautiful toilets. If you go check out the toilets. Yeah, sure. Don't go at home, use their toilet. Save it up. Don't go all day.

Go enjoy their toilets. Spent a good 15 minutes on the toilet. He was great, great value. Enjoyed his work, but I'm like, I wonder if he's picking up an international travel from the airport. Yeah, fucking, fuck. Is that someone like, someone's arriving

from Oxford or something? Is that how they're being arriving from Oxford or something? You stay in a fucking car and that's a fucking great place Fucking park You're really close the tram a couple stops you're in the free you're in a free fucking tram zone Yeah, you can walk to the fucking city from there, but you don't need to get everything you fucking made a car Beautiful spot my Nanster lives in Carlton.. Oh yeah. I wish I could get there. I'm bloody pruss out the fucking market. Fucking market.

There was a bit of a blockage on the road, cause it looked like there was an accident, but as we went past, it was just two guys talking. And he goes, talking. Oh, just having a fucking talk, are we mate? Just having a fucking talk. Pretty good. That's great. That's good stuff.

So just- just finally, Dracula has, of course, been translated into many different languages, probably nearly anyone you can imagine. OK. Klingon. Probably. Simlish. Probably. Probably.

Yeah, probably. Nerds. But that actually, in conclusion, brings us to a suggestion put into the hat by Gregory Gritman, who we recently met in the UK whilst we were on tour. Hello to Gregory. In 1901- Or I think I think he's, is it not Gary Gritman? Yeah, you called him Gary Gritman. I kept getting his name wrong, but he didn't, I don't think he minded.

I think he minded a lot. It just, well, now from now on, it's just a nickname of mine for you. Yeah, it's fun. Beautiful. It's an in-joke you two share and that's beautiful. And all the American listeners listening should take a leaf out of Gregory's book, who's from New York but recently moved to the UK. We're having trouble touring the US, but we're in the UK, so like maybe it's as easy if you're

all just to move to the UK. Yeah. Just consider it. Move your whole life. Consider it. We had some Boston people who flew into Dublin to see us. Yeah, a couple of separate groups, which is cool. So, you know, maybe that's just the easier way of doing it. Or why don't we just do all our shows in Melbourne and everyone comes here?

Just come. Yeah, actually that'd be good for us. That's really easy. I like, I like travelling, but man, it's so much easier just to do it in Melbourne. Yeah, you can like still travel home after a shower. Yeah, take the tram back. You can take the fucking tram. You got heaps of fucking travel.

Oh, I could use your own toilet. It did not even sound weird to me when you said toilet. How would you say toilet normally? Oh, I'm going to go to the toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. You add an R into it. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet.

Let's not dwell on toilet. You add an R into it. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Nar. Yeah, like adding the R into the nar. Yeah.

So, in 1901, the book was translated into Icelandic by Vladimir Amundsen. I trust that man to do it. Yeah, sounds right. Hmm. It was published in serial form in Icelandic newspapers and eventually published with a title, I'm going to have another go at this, Makt Mokrana, which translates to the powers of darkness. So, that was what many read in Iceland for years.

And in 1986, the translation became known to English speaking Dracula historians when it was reported by a guy called Richard Delby that the whole edition was introduced by a preface claimed to be written by Bram Stoker himself. So this bit was also in Icelandic and it was translated back into English because they were like, oh, we found this new document from the author himself. That's pretty cool. They translated it back. Delby, however, didn't translate the rest of the book back into English.

Why would you bother? We've already got it in English and neither did any other English speaking expert on Dracula. Copies were and are available for consultation in a dozen Icelandic libraries and a few foreign university libraries. But Dalby's appraisal that Powers of Darkness was merely an abridged translation of Dracula was never questioned and made its way into various bibliographies. It sort of became like, oh yeah, he also had a version translated into Icelandic. He did a preface for it.

So it was all official, blah, blah, blah. But then in 2014, Dutch author and historian Hans Cornille, even better than this, Hans Cornille de Roos, decided to look into the Icelandic translation and discovered something very shocking. It was a different story. Oh, wow. So people in Iceland for years. They've been reading a different one. To quote from the Smithsonian, many of the characters had different names. The text was shorter, had a different structure, and it was markedly sexier

than the English version. It also, this is according to Ruse, is better. He says, although Dracula received positive reviews in most newspapers of the day, the original novel can be tedious and meandering. Powers of darkness, by contrast, is written in a concise, punchy style. Each scene adds to the progress of the plot. That's De Ruz's opinion. So it took a century for anyone to notice that they aren't the same book and in many ways are quite different.

And there are theories as to what happened. One of the theories is the Icelandic guy, Vladimir, who was translating it, changed the story as he was going along. Yeah, punched it up a bit. Yeah, no, no, no, I changed this. Which is my favourite theory because it's so funny to me that a guy just rewrote it to how he thought it should go. Yeah.

No, no, no, no. Cut that character, move this end bit to the middle. That's way better. I don't know the Icelandic words for all of these. Yeah. I'll write it like this. Just crossing it out. Cross, cross, cross. There's another theory that perhaps Bram Stoker provided Vladimir with a first draft of Dracula

that he chose not to use for his own version when it was published in 1897, and that's what he translated. Right. And that would, that makes some sense to some people because Bram has written the preface to it, but also he doesn't speak Icelandic, so he wouldn't have known what he was introducing. It also may have been based on a serialised version in Swedish that was first published has written the preface to it, but also he doesn't speak Icelandic, so he wouldn't have known what he was introducing. It also may have been based on a serialised version in Swedish that was first published in 1899 and someone in Sweden may have had taken their own liberties. And then once it got to Iceland, they translated from Swedish into Icelandic.

Like a game of telephone. Yeah. And it just becomes this different story and it takes over a century for people to notice, hang on, this is a different story. And in some people's opinion, it's better, but we'll never probably know what happened. That's right. It's a mystery episode. Whoa. Happy new year, everyone.

What a way to start a new year. What a way to start with questions. And the mystery is just that thing that you brought up a minute ago. Yeah, that's the mystery. It's a mystery episode. If we're talking about the last minute. If we're talking about the last Yeah. It's a mystery episode. It's a mystery episode. If we're talking about the last minute. If we're talking about the last paragraph.

It's a mystery minute. You said the episode was about why Bram Soaker's Dracula became famous. Yes, I hope I should answer that question. So basically the answer is that it became this very famous movie. That's where it started. And then that was quite a big part of popular culture. And then every decade since, there's another movie and that it also permeates other parts of popular culture. So you can't really avoid it.

Like if you're a kid, you see it on Sesame Street. Now you see it in Hotel Transylvania. And then it just becomes this thing that everyone knows to the point that now, if you type the word Dracula into an iPhone, like an emoji comes up. I can't think of it. I tried Sherlock. I tried Frankenstein. They don't have emojis, but like he saw everywhere. Like he went 2025 that he's an emoji. He is sort of almost one in the same as just vampire.

Yeah, he just becomes the vampire because he had like these famous portrayals and then it just has permeated every other part of popular culture. Now we all just it's shorthand for vampire. And if people are interested in, you know, the parts of vampire stuff, yet, like Dave said, we did talk about it in previous episode. The, yeah, the vampire panic, New England vampire panic, I talked about how some of it came from real life stuff, like they actually believed people with wasting disease, aka, what was that called again?

Oh, consumption, tuberculosis. Yeah, tuberculosis. People thought they maybe were- And wasn't there a thing like they dig up the body and then their gums had receded? Yeah, yeah. Because that just happens naturally. And they think, oh my God, their teeth, look at the- there's something happened to their teeth. There's these thoughts that they were coming out and going back into the ground and they would- Which is what happens in Dracula.

Like, they- Stakes them through the heart with wooden stakes to keep the bodies down. And that becomes shorthand for this is how you kill a vampire. Well, that's a theory anyway, yeah. Wow. Yeah, so we've- and also, uh, flat the Impaler, also the episode that we did recently about the Year Without Summer or Christopher Lee, all these topics. Or if you want to hear the full story of Dracula, the episodes recently on Bookcheat.

So, yeah, we can't get away from him. We're becoming a real- we're becoming the Dracula podcast network. Yeah, we are. I'm about to ask a question about Dracula's spider on Who Knew It. Exactly. Yeah, we can't be stopped. There's got to be a Prime Mates crossover between Dracula and some sort of Monkey Man or something. Yeah, there's got to be.

We'll cover that too, then we've all bases. Well, that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. If you want to get involved, go to patreon.com slash to go on pod. There's all sorts of stuff you get involved in there. You can vote for topics, two out of three topics on each cycle are voted for by our Patreons. You also get on certain levels, you get four bonus episodes a month. We've just recorded our next campaign of D&D,

which will start later this month. And yeah, all sorts of stuff. Anyway, go to patreon.com slash Zygmunt Pod and get involved. People who support the show, they're the reason this show keeps going. I mean, and you listening as well, I should say, you're doing a great job. But it's a team effort. If you are, we do the least. If you got cash spare and you want to give it to us, we'll use it for good. That's right. Not evil.

That's our promise. As soon as Google stopped saying that, we started saying that. Don't be good. Don't be Google. That's our motto. That's our motto. So, yeah, there's a bunch of different things. You can get involved in different levels. One of those levels, the Sidney Schomburg level, gets you into the fact quote or question section of the show, which actually has a jingle.

I think something like this. Fact, quote or question. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. He always remembers the ding. Fact, quote or question. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the sing. And the way this one works is you get to give us a fact, a quote or a question. You also can give us whatever you like, a brag or suggestion.

It could be anything at all. You also get to give yourself a title. And first up this week, we've got one from Tamara Potts. What a name, that's a great name. Great name. And Tamara Potts has the title of Ambassador of Dreams Coming True. Whoa! Did you say Vam-bass-ader?

Pfft. Uh, Dram-bass-ader. Bram, I meant. I got you, man. And I was like, yeah. Oh, hang on. Bram. Bram-bass-ader. Oh, Dreams Coming True. That's bloody lovely. Uh, Tammara is offering a brag, writing, after decades, all caps, of having the ridiculous unachievable dream of being a famous author, I can finally say that I sold a book in the US in a competitive six house auction.

Whoa! That's awesome. That's a big deal. Auctions are commonly only between two or three houses. I normally say I haven't read ahead, but I feel like I've read this before. I haven't read this to you, too. No, no. I think a six way auction. That sounds amazing.

So good. The book is a young adult murder mystery set on an escape room reality show. Oh. I co-wrote it with a friend who's already pretty famous, which really helped with the whole auction thing. Bram? Matt, the last time you came to Perth, you actually answered some of my questions about podcasters for a different book still being written. If that one gets published, you'll be in the acknowledgement for sure. I'm still in shock that I've managed to do this, but also so happy that I can now afford to up my level of support on Do Go On.

Yes, the system worked. It was one of my must do's if I ever made any proper money, any money from writing. This podcast has been a joy in my life and I'm so grateful for the three of you. Oh, congratulations. That's awesome. And good on you for sticking at it, like chasing the dream for decades. It's amazing. Six different publishing you for sticking at it, like chasing the dream for decades. It's amazing. Six different publishing houses fighting over you too.

Wow. I love that. It's got to feel good. Stop it. Stop it. I don't know. What are you going to offer? Yeah. Yeah, I'd actually hate that. That means you have to say no to five things. I'm so sorry.

Thank you so much for wanting this book. To totally pull a bell of Legosi and they'd say $40 and I'd say, sold! Good! And your manager's there being like, shut up! There were five other people in the room! Shut up! Thank you so much, Tamara. And congratulations. Next one comes from Rupert the dog. I've met Tamara. I've also met Rupert. Rupert's title is dog. Important title. Important dog. Rupert's offering a recipe. This will be interesting.

Oh no, sorry. Sorry. Had something in my throat there. Rupert writes, I reckon there's not enough recipes. Here's one of my favorites. If you are a regular at a brewery, they often have an excess of used up grain that has already been malted.

These can be mixed with just a bit of peanut butter and egg or flaxseed and flour shaped into biscuits and baked on low heat until dry and crispy. Whoa. You can try this recipe at Coke and Spiritus in Brunswick. They've kept on the bar. They're kept on the bar in a jar that says dog biscuits. Rupert, thank you so much. Wow. That's great.

It's a great bar there too. I forgot it was from a dog. Rupert's dog's owner, Cam, runs a monthly comedy group there as well. Rupert. I've seen photos of Rupert. I'd love to meet you. Rupert's a huge dog. I'd love to meet you, Rupert. Well, you should talk to Cam about doing his room in this year. Get me in. Maybe I can meet the dog. Nothing else to pat Rupert.

Just to pat the dog. And possibly Cam, if you're up for it. I'll just scratch behind you. If you've been a good boy. Thanks so much, Rupert. Next one comes from Tess Chilcott. Okay, Mayor of Tidesville, not not shift, doesn't prepare you for motherhood at all and is offering a question writing, what is the name you answer to without thinking?

My name is obviously Tess, but growing up I answered to Claire. My mum is one of four girls, the youngest being Claire. Often grandma, my mum and my other aunts would yell, Claire, Oliver, wait, which one are you? My cousin Oliver and I were once in a shopping centre minding our own business, having a fun time. When someone screams, Claire, Claire, we both immediately stopped talking and walking and turned around and say, yes.

It was a mother yelling at her daughter, not related to us. I'm sorry, my son is also named Bort. Fun fact, well, this is a stretch. My aunt bemoans this is proof she was a malign child constantly being yelled at by her big sisters. Also, I laughed when Matt called my daughter, Margaret Lois, Margot Lois, currently four months old, still a redhead, Margaret, Margaret Lewis.

So close. I still don't know if I'm saying Margot Lois right. Anyway, my partner has had to be, my partner has had to be proofread whenever he writes down her name on official documents. I caught many errors on her birth certificate before it was sent off. She is currently Margot Double T on our private health,

which is a mistake. Thanks for all the laughs. I needed them as the mother of a baby who believes day naps are for the weak. Yeah, that's a strong little Margot for now. Thank you so much, Margot. And Tess. So the question is, what name do you answer to?

Yes, that's right. My brother Tom, I do. Yeah, my brother Michael. Or any name, anyone., my brother Tom, I do. Yeah. Still. My brother Michael. Or any name. Anyone. I'll answer to Michael or Karen. Same thing.

I have an auntie Karen that I apparently look like. So all of my- You do look like a Karen. All of mum and her sisters will go, Karen, Jess. Wow. All the time. Matt, it's funny you say any name because you won't even respond to your own names. No, I would say when I, when I can see them talking to me, I won't correct people.

Oh, okay. Right. Oh, I'll never correct someone. My gosh. No. I'd be that name forever. But yeah, I don't respond to anyone shouting out a name because if I hear Matt, I just assume they're talking about a different Matt. Unless we're in a small place, you know, and it's me. Right here, like a podcast studio. Yeah, someone in this room said Matt. I'd answer to that. Matt.

Yes. Okay. Okay. Checks out. I'm not sure if I have any names that I... There was a fish and chip shop that I thought I was called Steve for years, I guess. Yeah. That's one, because I misheard on the phone and I was like, all right.

That's a big mistake. Yeah, I'd also be Jeff for that same reason. Max. Max would happen a lot. Yeah. I think these are all improvements of our reason. Max. Max would happen a lot. Yeah. I think these are all improvements of our names. Yes. What do you mean? Karen? Steve? Jeff? Michael? Jeff? Cause we, I'd get told off, it'd be Michael, Jessica. Yeah. Me and Tom would, Tom Matt. Yeah. Matt Tom. Cause we've also got the letter that links them

so that they didn't have to break stride. Keep it going. That's nice. Thanks so much to Tess, Rupert and Tamara. The next thing we'd like to do is thank a few of our great supporters. Justin only comes up with a game based on the topic at hand. I was thinking how Dracula will kill them. Oh, okay. Right.

So they changed the lore a bit and be like, this is a new thing. Yeah. Dracula is going to kill all of these people. But how? How? Yeah. So he's put corks on the fangs? Or he's legosy that-

No, he could fang them. Oh, maybe he's going to fang them all. He could fang them. All right, Dave, you're the expert. So maybe you should be doing that. OK. Jess, I'll read out the city you read out the name. Sounds great.

All right, first up, I'd love to thank for your support from Tacoma in Washington in the United States. It's Rachel Dial. Smothered with a pillow. Yeah. Because it's real specific how you can kill Dracula. But he could kill you anyway. Yeah, I mean, he's real strong as well. There's another character in the book, I won't say which one, because I want to spoil it unless you want to hear the book cheat, where I do spoil it.

He just kills someone with his bare hand. Like he just like, man, throws a guy, he gets really injured and then he breaks his neck because like he's so strong. Wow. He's like, I'm not going to even bother eating this guy. Yeah. That's full on. Rachel Dyle and Rachel's got die in her name.

So, whoa. Whoa. So that's how she's dying or that's how she's killing Dracula. That's how Dracula is killing Rachel. I die in her name. So, whoa. Whoa. So that's how she's dying or that's how she's killing Dracula. That's how Dracula's killing. No, that's how Dracula's killing Rachel. I feel bad about that. But we don't know when Rachel.

Rest in peace. Rest in peace. It might be a mercy thing when you're like 150 and you're like, please. Yeah, and it's actually quite humane. Dracula, please. I'd also love to thank from Hallett Cove in South Australia.

Ashley Watson. Hitting the head with a discus. Yep. Oh, that's bad. Unfortunate. Yeah. Did Bram? Impactful.

Frank, as Bram wrote. Yeah, he was a great athlete. And he could throw a discus, I assume. Yeah, it was an Olympic mishap. A very bad one. Ashley, thanks so much for your support, but all good things must come to an end. So, but we appreciate you. I'd also have to thank from- it looks like Joel yet, but I want to call it Joelette. Joelette.

Joelette from Illinois in the United States. Joe Campbell. Infected paper cut. That's not a good way to go. I know you got to attend to these things, Joe. Yeah, you can't take infection lightly. You got to be serious about it. Even the smallest one. That's going to good way to go. I know you got to attend to these things, Joe. Yeah, you can't take infection lightly. You got to be serious about it. Smallest one.

That's going to be so painful. And you know what the worst part is? Got the paper cut from the book Dracula. Oh, yeah. Dracula came in. Oh, it was his own book. Saw it on the shelf and went, oh, what a mine. Oh, yeah.

Little paper cut. And was Joe like, I don't understand. How are you real inside and outside the book? How are these universes the same? Yeah. He just left. Left with a lot of questions. So rude. Thank you so much, Joe.

I'd also like to thank from Parkville here in Victoria, Australia. Thea. Thea, I'm afraid. I don't want to say this, but it's a flamethrower. Oh, yeah. And Dracula says, see you, Thea. He's played by- in this version, he's played by that English guy you like. Statham. Statham. See you, Thea.

Okay. Because the impression before was closer to Tollett than Statham. But yeah, you're right. Statham would never say Tollett. Thank you so much, Thea. What a way to go. I'd also love to thank, whoa, even closer to home, right here in Brunswick in Victoria. Eleanor Muller. Trucked on a big bit of peanut butter.

Oh, crunchy. Crunchy or smooth. Dracula did that too. That one was an accident. He was just serving up. Oh, too much peanut butter. He was using his peanut butter like a dip, which is obviously weird, but. Delicious, but weird. He doesn't like, does his taste buds, are they also undead?

He doesn't eat. Yeah. Doesn't eat at all. So he wouldn't know. He doesn't know. It's been so long since he had to eat. Yeah, that's why he went, here you go, here's a big bit of peanut butter. And Alan's like. That's what you weirdos like, isn't it?

Okay, here you go, here's a big bit of peanut butter now. That's what you weirdos like, isn't it? Okay, thank you. I hope Eleanor was an anaphylactic. If I'm using that right. I'd also have to say from Pascovale South, geez, also not too far from here in Victoria, Australia. Harrison Ludwick. Pushed into a volcano. Whoa, that'd be pretty cool.

Where's your manuscript? Yeah, he came over and said, hey, look at this. Just lean over, lean over, have a look. Push. Mm-hmm. It wasn't active, but the fall was still quite big. Thank you so much. Harrison Lodwick. Man, the names this week are brilliant as ever.

I also have to thank from Murfreesboro in Tennessee Tennessee, I reckon in the United States. Jesse Cooper. Uh, roller coaster accident. Wasn't an accident. Oh, okay. Doesn't Jesse Cooper just sound like you're all American gal? Hey, Jesse Cooper. Ha!

I'm Jesse Cooper. Fantastic. What a great name. Um, Murph Reesborough as well, I quite like. Yeah. I'd love to go to Tennessee. Been there. And how was it?

Amazing. Yes. From Glasgow in Scotland. Diane Lawler. Tied, shoes were tied together and Diane fell over. Into a volcano. Into a, yeah. This one was active.

Oh no. That'd be quick. This one was active. Oh no. Well, that'd be quick. Quick and painful, but quick. Diane, I'm so sorry. But again, this doesn't happen until you're very old. It's a mercy killing. All of these are mercy killings. They're all mercy killings.

Dracula's going around. You're all living long, beautiful lives. You're all in like nursing homes. Yeah, Dracula's actually, like Dave was saying, is misunderstood in this book. He's actually just very kind. Yeah. He's the original, you know, pro euthanasia doctor. Yeah. Was he a doctor? Count. Count. Count.

When you said before that he changed, Oldman changed him from Count like to Prince like, what's the difference? What is the difference? Is that? Yeah, you don't get it. I think he makes him smoother, less... I haven't seen the movie, but he's like a more of a smoother operator. That's a Prince, whereas a Count is a slightly different kind of royal.

I don't know. I don't really know. Yeah. I'm glad you picked me up on that because I don't have an answer. And finally, Dave, do you reckon you have a look at this? What is this country? I think this is Estonia. Ah! From Tallinn. I think Tallinn is maybe the capital.

Tallinn in Harju in Estonia. It's Marius Kana. Marius Kana was killed with a heart attack when the vampire Dracula appeared at the window and went, boom. That'll get ya. Thank you so much, Marius. Again, what a frickin' great name with the umlaut as well over there. Oh my god, Marius. Oh no.

Marius, Diane, Jesse, Harrison, Eleanor, Thea, Joe, Ashley and Rachel, you are all leaving beautiful old corpses. Thank you so much. Not your corpse's value. No, but it's worth mentioning. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few into the Triptych Club. Now the way this works is people who have been

on the shout out level or above for three straight years get into the club. It's a bit of theater of the mind. We're in a club, You can get free entry. You're not allowed to leave anyway. But why would you want to? It's the best place on earth. Dave, you've booked a band. I'll hear from you in a second for the after party.

But Jess, you're behind the bar. If you put together a Dracula cocktail. Blood! Whoa! Shots of blood. And it's very hot. Yeah, hot blood. Hot blooded. I'm hot blooded.

That song's going to be playing and Dave, you'll bring a band for the after party. And the band playing that song, we make these bands play our set list. Yeah, yeah. So they don't get to play their own hits. Of course. You're never going to believe it. I've booked these bands, obviously, months, sometimes years in advance. We treat them like, you know, like a pub cover band.

Play Nickelback. All right. I've booked, you're never gonna believe it, Vampire Weekend. Whoa. What are the chances? Yeah, that's great. Saw them at a festival a few years ago.

Great. Good fun? Good fun. So, the way it works is I'm on the door. I'm gonna read out three names this week. Dave's on the stage. He's gonna hype you up with some weak wordplay. And then, yeah, you hang around,

grab yourself a hot cup of blood get ready to hear some uh what's his name Ezra Koenig is that him? Yeah what a name yeah yeah well Ezra Pound no that's the the poet Ezra is a great name um all right so three names here Dave you ready to hype some people up here we go the chowd is cramped the chowd the chowd is cranting along uh-oh First up from Happy Valley in Oregon. I want to go there. It's Ryan Brickley. I started the day. I was crying and sickly, but then I met Ryan Brickley. That is one of the best you've ever done.

I know. Why wasn't that third? From Oklahoma City in Oklahoma in the United States. Welcome Jack Vespa. I'd love to ride on Jack's Vespa. Yeah, give us a lift. Yeah, give us a lift. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, nothing weird.

I'm just hyping you. Thank you. And finally from Maylands in Western Australia, it's Emma Vinkovich. You better not think of it about turning around because we need you in there, Emma. Oh, Emma. We need you in there.

Welcome in Emma, Jack and Ryan. Make yourselves at home. Grab a cup of blood. Let's have some fun with Vampire Weekend. Playing Nickelback and a bit of whatever that Hot-Blooded by whoever that is. Hot-Blooded. That brings us to the end of the episode. Anything we need to tell people before we head out of here, Boppa?

That they can suggest a topic. There's a link in our show notes. Our website is dogoonpod. You can find us on social media at dogoonpod or dogoonpodcast on TikTok, where we are blowing up. 2025, year of us taking over TikTok. Yeah. We're coming for you, TikTok awards.

Yeah. I can't wait to take out a Tiki. Yeah. Come and follow us on the talk and on the gram. On the gram. Thanks so much. to take out a Tiki. Yeah. Come and follow us on the talk and on the Gram. On the Gram. Thanks so much. Um, Dave, boot this baby home.

Hey, happy new year once again, everyone. We will be back with another episode next week, but until then also, thank you so much for listening and goodbye! Later! Bye! When I say the Gram, I mean Lou Gram. Um, I don't even know who that is actually. I think he was a singer from maybe that band that played Hot Blooded. Was he? He doesn't know.

Laters. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you When we're coming there wherever we go, we always hear six months later. Oh, you should come to Manchester We were just in Manchester, but this way you'll never, you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, you will come to you.

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