Do Go On - 481 - Vere St. Leger Goold: The Irish Tennis Champion Murderer

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

Recorded in front of a HOT Dublin crowd, we hear the story of Ireland's tennis champ, Vere St Leger Goold... and the story takes quite a few twists and turns along the way!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 08:02 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-62072294https://www.rte.ie/history/2022/1116/1336515-the-irish-wimbledon-finalist-who-became-a-convicted-murderer/https://murderpedia.org/female.G/g/goold-marie.htmhttps://www.newspapers.com/article/the-washington-herald-1907-murder-of-mme/15902623/https://galaxypress.com/a-penal-colony-in-french-guiana%E2%80%95the-infamous-devils-island/https://bleeckerstreetmedia.com/editorial/papillon-a-trip-to-devils-island#:~:text=The%20place%20was%20cursed%20as,it%20nearly%20impossible%20to%20escapehttps://www.britannica.com/biography/Henri-Charrierehttps://www.wimbledontennistickets.co.uk/blog/11-interesting-facts-about-wimbledon-tennis/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. That, holy shit. We needed that so badly. Thank you so much. Was anybody in Belfast last night?

You know why we needed this cause then. Belfast hated me. Oh my God. Hated me. They did not hate you. They hated me. Are you booing Belfast or Jess? I need to just establish.

Dublin is one of my favourite cities I think my favourite city in the entire world She says this every night I don't I love Dublin I'm very happy to be back and I remember saying that to an Irish woman that I worked with years ago I was like oh where you're from she's like Dublin is oh favourite city And she said why

I was like oh no fair enough sorry about that Sorry I love your city sorry about that Doesn't make my top ten In Ireland Oh man, thank you so much for coming out. We've got couches. Look at this. What a lovely spot.

I'm going to get comfy. Yeah, I'll sit back down in. I became really aware at a comedy venue when I went for a piss before any fellas. That is funny stuff. For the people that haven't been in, John, explain what you're talking. Well, yeah, if anyone hasn't,

had a piss at the urinals. In front of every urinal there's a woman, I think a photo of. Very realistic. One of them just got a tape measure out. The other one, she's looking pretty impressed. Another one, she's taking a photo. So, you know, you've got options.

Which one did you decide to go to? I went for the one where... She was going. It felt the most... natural for me. The one, yeah, the one who was gagging. You could take that two ways. You could take that two ways and I'll allow you to,

I won't tell you which way I meant it. I feel like I'm swimming in this chair to be honest. No, thank you. Yeah, this is very nice. This is cosy. Dave, explain what we're doing. Hi, everyone. I'm just going to wave at these guys over this side.

Say hi to these guys are here I'll just keep checking in Great Should we start the show properly? Okay Great so Hello What have you got?

I hope front row knows If you get food I'm having some Yeah I hope you know that I'll come over A bit of corn chip Corn chips left here

Okay start the show Yeah sorry You're distracted immediately I'll come back later Sorry I'm saying Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. Dublin, how you doing out there?

Oh my God. You know what? Completely. You were right to leave the North behind. What the fuck is wrong with you? You were just talking about how much you hated Belfast. I thought I was sticking up for you. I love Belfast.

I said Belfast hated me. Oh, yes. But I also hated Belfast. I love Belfast, I love Dublin, so I just love everyone. Get him out of this. Get him out of this hole. Well, before we kick up, before the show, we were given some lovely gifts,

and I thought I'd show them to you because we've got from, am I saying this right, Morsi's Crafts? Is it Morsi? Morsi? Yeah, you're just saying it with a weird accent. With an Australian. accent. Yeah.

Yeah. So we are really outnumbered here. Yeah, okay. This is the weird accent at the moment. Yeah, the person doing the fire drill on the pre-recording, I was like, are they doing a parody voice or is that just their voice? They just sound that delightful. Yeah, I love it.

It's the best. And we sound like chainsawls. Yeah. So, Morsi, thank you so much. Nah, we don't. So Morsi's made this, which we are going to put up in our office, these, um, our cards. There's one that says, how good is it to be alive?

Which is amazing. I'll field that one. Really good. So that's obviously Matt's catchphrase. And then Jess is represented with, I wish I was never born. Stand by that every day. And then I'm represented by the catchphrase

that, of course, I say every single week, I'm a virgin and I eat parks. That's the PC version. and he actually doesn't eat the pause. What happens between me and a beef and Guinness is up to me. So great to be here. Thanks for coming out. We always ask by asking our live shows,

who's heard the podcast before? Brilliant. Other end of the scale, we're always asked this, so don't be shy. Give us a round of applause. If you've never heard, do go on ever. Always in the front row. It's always in the front row.

Honestly, that is, I think, was that four from four in the front row? Always taking up prime real estate. Honestly, there are people who want that chair, you dog. You get up and you stand at the back. Thanks for coming out. If you haven't heard the show before, basically what we do here is we're taking in turns to report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research, then bring it back.

Now it is Matt's turn to do the report tonight. Yes, and we always start the... Did you say that with the question? No, I didn't, but you can say it now. We always start with a question. And I'm going to ask one now. This is to get us on the topic. Famous for its crystal, what is Ireland's oldest city?

Oh, is it Crystal City? No, Jess. Waterford. Yes, it's Waterford. Jess, how did she just know that? I don't know. I just like came to me from over there. Of course, the Crystal.

It also came to me from over there. So one said Crystal City. What the fuck? Send me up. Are we talking about Waterford Crystal for an hour? No. That's pretty, that's actually, that's the only reference to Crystal and Waterford for the show.

But, no, no, I will say it one more time. According to RTA, Ver Thomas Gould, he's the main character in tonight's episode. He was born on the 2nd of October 1853 in Waterford Island. Whoa! Or if you, yeah, I read another. thing that said he was born in Clonmel County Tipperary. But anyway, um, that one didn't have any crystal, so I just went with the crystal one. I forgot to check who suggested this topic, but

okay. Someone really good. He was the sixth child of George Ignatius Gould and his wife Clara, no surname attached. Almost the way. Yeah. His dad was a justice of the peace and resident magistrate and waterford. Oh my God. I said it again. And his wife, Clara, was the daughter of a man who was Major General James Webber Smith. So, yeah, she was also... So she had a really impressive dad. Yeah, yeah. Good for her.

For the Irish Times, Nathan Mannion writes, he was the child of an aristocratic family. So close. I think I got that. The grandson of a baronet or a baronet? It doesn't matter. And a great grandson of the Earl of Ken Mayer. As an adolescent in Waterford, oh my God, I'm going to say this a lot, I think. I said before I'd already said it the only time, but I think we're up to fall.

You lied. Yeah, okay. Let's keep count. Does it count if I restart a sentence? Yes. As an adolescence in Waterford, he spent his free time sailing, hunting, riding horses and playing tennis. He was fiercely competitive and didn't shy away from putting his money where his mouth is. These traits would remain with him throughout his life. Gould was also known to be an unceasingly charming

and frequently used his charisma to advance himself socially. Oh, my ears are burning. Is everyone? Are we all familiar with this guy? Ver Thomas Gould? One of Ireland's favourite sons? Has anyone heard of him?

At all? We've got a hand out. No one. No spoilers. That's so funny. Everyone's going, no. No. No, and we don't care to know.

I could ask around, but I'm just going to say no. Yeah, no. He's not Bono. He's not Bono. Let it go. Fucking out. I don't remember yesterday. You guys are really holding on to five years ago.

Hey, Jess. No. Truly no. So anyway, this guy is basically a smooth-talking fella, born in a well-to-do fancy-pants family. But that's not how he made his name. Instead, it was on the tennis court. Oh!

You're starting to remember. You're the guy who played tennis. You know, one of your many famous Irish tennis players. Manian continues, as his father's fifth son, he didn't stand to inherit very much. And tennis appeared to him as a gateway to a rarefied existence. that otherwise would have been beyond his means. You know, it's a classic pathway. Yeah, yeah.

You go, okay, well, I'm not going to inherit much. I'm going to go into a nice, steady career as a tennis player. Guaranteed. Yeah. Apparently Waterford was an early adopter of competitive lawn tennis events, and our man Veer Gould was keen to be involved. He often played incognito, though, avoiding, you know, the Nepo baby claims, of course.

Oh, yeah, of course you're playing tennis. Your granddad's a baronet? This is the thing you put at the end of a gun in old walls, right? Bayonet, okay. I was going to say, I didn't think they could reproduce. So anyway, he competed under a fake name, Veer St. He kept the veer, which to me is the bit that stands out the most.

He's the only veer I've ever heard of. Are there any veers in? Is there really? Were you... No. No. It was this? No. But the best part, it wasn't even obstinatious as well.

It was like, yes. I am veer. Veer here. Veer is I. Veer. Are you veerererer? No. What is your...

name? Claire. Claire, did you miss hear what we said? Are there any Claire's here? Claire. Claire, you're a nightmare. And I'm a big fan. That's the best. Anyway, he found success playing tennis in 1878. He traveled to Limerick, where he won the singles championship. I was a few Limerick's in. Are you actually? Claire. Claire.

Claire, are you lying to me? Claire, you are trouble. You know, we know she is telling the truth because she actually attended with a lie detector. No. No. Just her wife. What is a wife if not a lie detector?

A good move to Dublin. And became a member at the Fitzger. William Lawn Tennis Club. Any members of the Fitzwilliam Lawn Tennis Club in a night? Imagine. Claire? Claire's a menace.

It's fucking 20 past three. I love this place. If you think a menace is someone putting their hand up polite. Politely, I do. What do they like? According to RTA, Gould was a prominent member of the Fitzwilliam

Club. The club colors when he joined had been chocolate and blue. That is the worst combo of ever heard. There are so many colours. Why do you go for brown? And blue. Yuck. Well, they then changed the colours to chocolate and maize.

Maze. Corn? Like yellow? I guess so. Brown and yellow. But they can't even say that. This is a fancy, fancy place. But yeah, this was a bit of fun.

I think you'll enjoy this. because of Gould and another player there Ernest De Silly Hammy Brown Oh you're familiar with Yeah They started calling the colours Instead of chocolate amaze

They called them brown and gould Yeah Wow Pretty good I love tennis humour is the best humour Yeah very good stuff At the time I'm wearing a cap tie and waist scarf

and the club was compulsory. A cap? I'm okay with that. Tie. I don't like that. A waist scarf. A waist scarf. Are you wearing pants?

Pants are not compulsory. It's just a waste car. But it shows how ridiculous it is. Like now you'd go on all those places. You wouldn't be allowed to wear a cap back then you had to. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's speaking truth to power up here tonight. In 1879, the Fitzwilliam Club held the inaugural

and the inaugural Irish Championships and Gould went on to beat C.D. Barry. Got that, Barry. He won 866 in the final. This was in the men's singles and he won 20 pounds.

Weavlin of about 2 to 3 grand today. Oh. With this win, he was able to went to... Wait. Oh! I'm having a good time. 2 to 3 grand. pound?

Yeah, not Aussie dollars, yeah. So two, three, pound, that's like 45,000 Australian dollars. Yeah. Wow. That's pretty good. You could buy Tasmania for that.

Yeah, yeah. That's a place in Australia. It's a really beautiful place, but we talk about it like it's shit. It's another one of those Emerald Islands that the English stole. So he was known for having a splendid backhand. and his play was, quote, showy and attractive.

And remembering, this man's already charismatic off the course. He's also showy and attractive on the court. Oh, my God. I'm going to say I'm barring up right now, but that would have been inappropriate. Anyway, this took him all the way to the final, and yeah, this is at Wimbledon, I should say. He's at Wimbledon? He's at Wimbledon. I've told you he got to the final, and then I'll let you know.

The final was at Wimbledon. That was a great reveal. Wow, it was Wimbledon the whole time. I've decided to read this every, like, paragraph, paragraph, then back to paragraphs. Yeah. It's, yeah, just get a little bit more fun for everybody. So if it at home on the recording,

you can chop it up and put it in your own order. Even at random, it'll probably make more sense than how I've done it. So he's made the final of Wimbledon. Right. That's pretty big. Yeah, that's big. His opponent was won Reverend John Thornycroft Hartley. Give that to me again.

Reverend John Thornycroft Hartley. I love it. Yeah. So good. You don't hear of a lot of reverends making the top of sport. No. Not enough. But yeah.

Unsurprisingly. via St. Ledger Gould started his favourite in the match? I mean, how ridiculous would have been for a Reverend to win. Wimbledon. Especially as Reverend Hartley had to return to Yorkshire after his semi-final to give his church sermon before rushing back to Wimbledon on the train and then in a horse and carriage

when he arrived just in time to make it. This guy can't win. He's a reverend. No days off. He's a reverend in a house. a rush. So there were about 1,100 spectators, and they watched him flog

Gould 646262. Whoa! Of Gould, the Reverend said He was then a cheery, wild Irishman. He was an Irish champion and a very pretty player. I think he volleyed more than most of us that year.

But there were some weaknesses, I suppose, in his play. As being fit and well after a night's rest, I one three sets straight off. You see, there's a little implied thing in there. He had a good night's rest. What's he suggesting? Well, what he was subtly alluding to

is the fact that Gould hit the piss the night before and was under the weather during the match. A report at the time put it as, quote, a roaring hangover. Let me give you a quick aside about the reverend. So Reverend John Thornycroft Hartley was ordained. a priest in 1873. The same year the St.

Kilda Football Club was formed actually. While we're on the subject. He wasn't only the first clergyman to win Wimbledon. He was also the second when he defended his title the following year. The Reverend was on a tear.

And he remains the only man of cloth to have won Wimbledon. Wow. To this day. Sadly, he was unable to three Pete losing in 1881 06,1.0.6. 1616, which I believe was still the shortest final on record. He got flogged real quick.

Wow. He later blamed his performance on English cholera, which I guess, yeah, luckily it was a man of cloth. Would have needed it to tidy up. I don't know. Is clara one of the things where you're extreme? I don't know what chloro is. Colour is something a horse gets?

Is it? Colic, thank you. Ketamines, fantastic. Ketamines, one of those things, a horse gets. We'll take three, thank you so much. He played his final Wimbledon singles in 1883, where he was eliminated in the second round by the delightfully named Herbert Wilberforce.

There's so many brilliant names in this, it's unbelievable. Apparently, he was awarded a silver medal by Queen Mary to celebrate 50 years of the championships in 1926 as one of the 34 champions who was still alive. Pretty good? That's Queen Mary like George, the fifth's wife, not the one who was well and truly dead by then. Thank you.

Thank you, yes. So, yeah, let's go back to Verst Ledger, Gould. Though he did continue to play for another couple of years, Things went downhill pretty quickly for Gould after his loss. As I touched on a little earlier, Gould had his issues with alcohol. That wasn't his only voice, as he was also an opium addict.

And a big gambler. Okay. And this is a bit of a dangerous combination. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And in the end, it did prove his undoing. After a string of losses, he quit tennis in 1883. Then, according to Mannion, he lived as a man of leavening.

on an allowance provided by his family, but continued to drink heavily. RTE writes, Gould later moved to London where he met a French woman named Marie Violet near Gillesauldine. By the time she met him in 1886, she'd already been widowed twice. Third time's the charm for Mary Violet. Was it suspicious circumstances? Yes. Yes. Okay.

Jumping ahead, but yes. I mean, but this one's for love, surely. This one's a charm. You know, two husbands for Dr. Death, one for Dr. Death. One for Dr. Love. As the famous saying goes. I don't know if anyone in this room knows this, but sometimes I'll start a sentence, not knowing where it's going.

Results may vary. Let's find out about Marie Violet. Nige. Girardin. Marie was the daughter of an ironmonger and worked as a dressmaker for most of her life. According to a 1907 article in the Washington Herald, she was recognised as a woman of great energy.

Claire? Got a great vibe. Yes, I did mention that she'd been widowed twice before. Well, historian J. Robert Nash notes that her earlier life had been one of an adventurous and that her first two husbands died mysteriously. Anyway, moving on, the Gould's lived a lavish lifestyle, and after marrying in Paddington in 1891,

they moved around a lot to escape their partying and gambling debts. They moved to Montreal and Canada for a period running a dress-making company, but after running up debt there, they returned slash fled back to England. In the meantime, Vair's older brother had succeeded or succeeded. It doesn't matter, succeed, whatever. but he took over from his uncle in 1900 to become Sir James Gould. He got the sir. According to the Washington Herald, on the death of another brother, Frederick Ver,

he laid claim to the title and started referring to himself as Sir Ver. This is, despite the fact that he probably had no right to, he's like, yeah, I'm severe now. Our guy. Our tennis man. Veer. It's like, yeah. Or was I saying veer? Veer?

Yeah, veer. That's why you're confused. It's not because of the way I'm telling the story. It's how I'm pronouncing the story. Yeah, but it seems like it was not legitimate. But anyway, he started going around calling himself, sir. His new wife was Lady Gould. When the Goulds return to London, they ran another dressmaking company.

maybe a laundry company, maybe that meant the same thing back then? Who knows? There's no way to know. According to the Washington Herald. This article from 907 has been very handy to me. It says, There they lived in apparent affluence and appeared to have been accepted by one section of society

as thorough gentlefolk of high degree. They were living it up. You know, staring a lady. Yeah. In the lifestyle that you'd expect of those two made-up things. But unfortunately, they continued to spend beyond their means. Once again, running out of money. Luckily, they had a plan.

Once again, it meant they were going to move this time to Monte Carlo and they were going to make their living gambling. Yes. Oh my gosh. This feels like a foolproof plan. Yeah. I feel like an idiot for not thinking of that. Yeah.

Why are we here in Dublin? I know. We should be in Montecano. Should we all go to Monte Carlo? Yeah, I'm quick. We're writing out dressmaking business tomorrow. Yeah. Asmanian writes, growing desperate,

severe and lady gould, as they referred to themselves, decided they needed a big windfall and windfall to set their fortunes right again. They left for Monaco where they were determined to break the bank at that renowned cathedral of vice, the Casino de Monte Carlo. Whoa.

According to Mark Hodgkinson, writing for the tennis space, So the tennis face? Tennis space. Tennis space. Tennis space. Tennis space? Tennis space.

Tennis space. Tennis space. I'm still not sure. I don't know. What is it? And we're the ones with the weird accents here. According to Hodgkinson, writing for that, beautiful medium that I said, lady Gould believed that, quote,

she had developed a system for playing roulette. That's the easiest one You get a system You get a system You get a system, You get a system for Then it's going to be four Then it's going to be four

Then it's going to be five Back to one Once you get Yeah, once you crack the system on roulette It's just a license of print money It's a I mean you've got to look to the stars and stuff first

And figure out your lucky colours But eventually Once you get your system down And when Libera is in retrograde you can and you find out if your lucky colour is red or blue I have no idea where this story is going

he was a tennis player for a bit yeah now they're gambling now there's a suss wife this is exciting yeah oh there's always a suss wife behind every great tennis player it was a suss wife I'm suss on this wife

great time for a sip yeah we gave you some time we had a little riff over here This is all part of the stagecraft, you know? Like, I was going to say... You gave me too much time now. Hey, Matt, are you still driving back up to this? This good thing about Irish stouts are there always 4%.

Is that right? I did get mine with a shot of whiskey butt. I actually drive better under those conditions. And do go on, we're never seen again. It doesn't matter. So this Herald article wrote at the time, Mrs Gould is described by one who knew her as an accomplished, amiable and generous woman,

a French lady to her fingertips. What the fuck does that mean? French to her fingertips? Oh, yeah. What the, what is that? I like it. Well, I mean, everyone hears from closer to France and where. What does that mean?

Claire? Claire, just puts her hand up. Claire, would you describe yourself as Irish to the fingertips? Oh, God, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. During the following three years, so they lived in Monte Carlo for three years. There they occupied a charming suite on the first floor at the Villa Manethe. in the Boulevard de Molina Montacalo.

You just show that you're like Montecallo to your fingertips as well. That's what French to your fingertips means. Italian. Italian to your fingertips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Montecalo is right there between France and Italy, so it's a beautiful meeting of those two great cultures. Manian continues,

After some initial success at the roulette table, she must have been like, I knew it. I knew it. The system's working. It didn't last long. And they began to lose heavily and once more sought to endear themselves to wealthy patrons who could subsidise their lifestyle. They settled on a woman named Emma Levin, a rich Danish widow who soon made Lady Gould a companion of hers and agreed to loan Veer a thousand francs. Bit of cash. lot of cash. Yeah. It's like, I also saw it written as like 40 pounds. Yeah. You know, and I could

not figure out a way. Anyway, apparently it's three million Australian dollars. Yes, exactly. It was a lot of money at the time. According to the Herald, Madam Emma Levin was the widow of a great stockholm merchant. She moved in a good society and was well-to-do. I think all of this stuff is really good and legitimate. Do we have any well-to-do types in tonight? Yeah, great. The wife going, no. No, just put your hand down. She was always smartly dressed and very intelligent.

She also loved wearing expensive jewelry, according to the herald. Her fine diamonds and jewelry were estimated to be worth more than $10,000 American in 907 money. Confusing, but... Wow. It's so an article from 9-07. in Washington's, if you know what I mean. Sure. So there's a fuck ton of money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. According to Hodgkinson, the Gould's had such a poor run at the roulette wheels in 9707. The veer broke down back at the villa. Their financial situation was so desperate that he could hardly afford another bottle of whiskey. Oh. I mean, he could. I mean, he could afford it, but only just. Yeah.

He couldn't go top shelf anymore. Yeah. You're slightly lower there. So sad. Soon enough, the Goulds had also lost all the money which they had borrowed from Levin. Who, crippling dead. But it's all good gamblers, no, you've got to chase your losses,

and that's what they were doing. Levin had a number of other beneficiaries slash hangers-on. One of those was a lady named Madame Castellazzi. Oh, I liked the start of that. And then it finished with Nazi. Dave, sometimes... Dave, sometimes you can hear what you want to hear. What I said was Madame Castor Azi.

Did you hear Castor Nazi? No. I'm sorry, mate. You're on your own. Did anyone over here here? No. Wow, that's a lot of people shaking their heads. Yeah.

Anyone, anyone, Nazi, anyone. No, no, no. Lady Gould didn't like this. Didn't like it. There were others that the madame favoured as well. So she started trying to drive a wedge between Kasselazzi and Levin. Castellazzi said your dress is ugly. And she said,

said, you smell really bad. Really? What a bitch. Oh my God. And that's coming from a Nazi. Did you like when I got in really weirdly close there? Use the space. Yeah, you got it.

So, Gould and Katzalazzi. That's not right. Different every time. Custolazzi. Gordon Castellazzi started quarreling publicly. And they quarreling publicly. Quarled so much that the quarrels started making the papers. Love that.

A public feud. It was a big feud. Oh, I love a feud. Big in the Monte Carlo Press. And all the hubbub is said to have embarrassed Levin. This is on top of the fact that an unsigned letter was slipped under her hotel room's door, suggesting that Veer and Marie were fraudsters and had no legal right to the titles they were using. Which was correct.

In fact, Veer's older brother, who was the rightful owner of the title, was alive and living in Australia. That's where we are living. Whoa. I hadn't even put that together. I love it when Australia gets mentioned. Do you think it could be the same Australia?

According to Hodgson. Where in Australia? Where could it be? Where do you reckon? Could it? Not Melbourne. I don't care then. It was on a, I know, it's like a cattle station.

Apparently he didn't want to go by, the sir because he was trying to be cool in front of the other the other farm guys. Yeah, the cows. No, I'm just like you cow. Just a regular guy. And the cow's like, my name. My name is actually Lady Moo.

Why do they, why did they do that really half-assed applause? Yeah. That was a pity applause. It's pity, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it... Didn't feel good for anyone that. You didn't commit, I didn't earn it.

I think that cheapened... I think cheapen the whole experience. I think that's actually put a dampener on things. It was going so well. You were reading real good. So now Levin has been tipped off that the people who owe are a bit of cash. are probably full of shit. Yeah.

So she's like, and they're also making a scene. But Marie's still trying to like spread gossip about other people. Yeah, yeah. So, um... She's like, she's wearing pebble today and she is such a spring.

Godena Hodgkinson, Levin demanded immediate repayment of the Gould's loan. And on Sunday the 4th of August 9.07, she accepted an invitation to collect her money from their apartment. She was never seen. alive again.

Oh. Okay, that's where this was going. Oh. Okay, well, so she... Yeah, who not... She might have got on a jet. Yeah. She went on a jet.

She might have got a jet by herself. Maybe she moved to Australia. Yeah, to a spot where no one could see her alive. Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. We do know. I'm telling you now.

So, pretty soon after, Madam Castellazzi reported her as missing to the police. And when the cops visited the Gould's apartment, they arrived to find a grisly scene. There was blood splattered everywhere, and a blood-covered dagger, as well as a butcher's knife and some sores. Hey, let's not jump to any conclusions.

Okay. Sure, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation why this tennis player has this stuff. Okay. Dagger. What was it in the middle there? Butcher's knife. Butcher's knife.

Sores. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But there was no body. Oh, well then... Yeah. Thank goodness for that.

What, you're not allowed to have bloody daggers in your house? Yeah. What is this is a nanny state? I thought Monte Carlo was cool. According to the Herald, on the night 11 left town, a servant girl at the Gould's apartment complex stated that she heard sounds of a struggle and a voice that cried out, Let me alone.

Let me alone. Yes. No, she deserved to die. Strangely enough, the Goulds had also decided to leave town soon after. They were heading to Marseille by the train. Is that right, Marseille? Marseille. Merci Bucco.

This man is French to his fingertips. Wee, we. The person tried to correct you. you tried to copy them, they went, I give up with this guy. But the fact that you knew how to correct me means that I wasn't that far off. If I was in France, I said, I cannot help you. What you're saying is not anything. I love the French.

I love everyone. I love everyone. they have a certain, I don't know, how do you say? Yeah, it's like a... Yeah, I wish there was a word for it. Sort of like a, oh. Yeah. A joie de vivre. Ooh, I don't know.

It's all in the shoulders, isn't it? French. I don't know. Geneseecois. Why are you doing it again? Somehow that was worse than before. So any, the ghouls just happen to be leaving town. Yeah.

At the same time. They probably didn't even know. No, ghouls love to travel. Yeah, they do. They've been travelling this whole time. They've been fleeing a lot. Travelling a lot. And it's a coincidence.

It sucks for them that they accidentally left behind their dagger, their butcher's knife and their saw. Yeah. And that old lady fell on them. Yeah. You know that feeling? Did I leave the oven on? Did I leave my bloody knives?

Yeah. Shit, actually, where did I leave my bloody daggers? But anyway, yeah, so they went to that French place via train. Macerre. That French place. Javerton. And yeah, from there they planned to sail back to the UK. Unfortunately for them, though, at the train station,

a porter became suspicious about their luggage. Oh, no. It had a smell and a trail of blood. No The porter thought something was a bit off Something smelled a little odd If you know what I mean And I mean literally

Their luggage stank It was putrid apparently Not only that Blood was oozing Oh my God The perfect crime They just would have zipped up the suitcase and gone Job done.

We'll take this with us. Yeah, but don't worry about this. The Gould's had a perfectly good explanation. They explained the suitcase was full of dead chickens. Sure. They just slaughtered the poultry and were taking it with them on their travels. No need to have a closer look. Just dead chickens.

The porter was a suspicious type. And he thought he'd better call the cops just in case. And after they arrived, the Goulds were taken to the police station. and the trunk was opened in their presence. When opened, the butchered body of Madame Levin was discovered. According to the Herald, the head and parts of the legs were missing. They were found in smaller pieces of luggage. The head was in a hat bag.

This report started with a reference to Waterford Crystal. This is where we're at. This is such a great journey. This guy almost won Wimbledon. Yeah. If he didn't get drunk and I'd before, he probably would have. And he was beaten by a reverend.

What the fuck? Is this really, are you just making this up? No. I can't remember who suggested it. Yeah. Did you dream this? What a dream. The woman's body had several wounds on the head

and she'd been stabbed several times in the chest. Mr. and Mrs. Gould, despite saying it it wasn't them. What the fuck happened to our chicken bag? Ah! I must have swapped it? Oh my God, you know what?

That means Greg's got our chickens. That is embarrassing. Greg's a vegetarian. Cannibal. Vegetarian cannibal. So yeah, they get arrested, the Goulds. And this may shock you, but the police alleged that when Levin visited the Goulds to ask for her money back,

they killed her and stole her jewelry, which was worth 125,000 francs. Oh my God, that's so much. Franks. Franks. And how good is this line from Shane Harrison running for the BBC in Ireland? There Thomas St. Ledger Gould would soon exchange the tennis courts for the courts of law. Law courts. It's right there.

I thought that was fantastic. The courts of tennis for the courts of law. The incident became known as the Monte Carlo trunk murder. And its trial lasted only three days. The Gould's had 30 witnesses appearing against them. People were pretty keen to put them away, to be honest. But despite all the witnesses and the evidence and being caught red-handed, basically,

the ghouls weren't ready to concede defeat just yet. Obviously they had to pivot from their original story. Despite forensic testing being fairly primitive back then, the police were confident the remains were human and not poultry. I don't think chickens have hands. But neither does these bodies. Neither does these bodies. Jess, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I've written down something really fun. Okay. So the murder was most foul, but clearly not most foul. Now that feels right. That one was deserved. That one was deserved. I bow down to the pun king over there. If I'm being honest, that one works better written down.

Anyway, according to the Herald, they admitted that they had cut up her body, but they didn't murder her. We just found her dead and thought, well, we'll chop her up. This is what the article said. So this article I've been quoting from 907 was reporting just after the event. And it writes, Mrs. Gould declares that when Madam Levin visited her home, a man rushed in with a knife in his hand and killed her.

He shouted, you wretch, you have ruined me. Now I'm going to kill you. Mr Gould stated that the woman was killed by a man during the absence of himself and his wife and that they decided to cut the body into pieces and put them in a trunk in order to avoid scandal. It makes perfect sense to me. I like it they're both saying she was killed by a man.

We weren't there, but it was a man who killed her. It was a man. I know that we weren't there, but I know it to be a man who killed her when we weren't home. So that convinced me, but unfortunately it did not convince the court. So the law court Thank you Marie then changed her story again

and suggested that it was actually her husband veer all along Hodgkinson writes Throughout the trial Marie veered between bravado and self-pity When she shrieked Howled sobbed and threatened to faint Oh faint

I'll do it You don't push me I can faint Harrison But imagine somebody's reaction to that thing like No please don't no Don't faint Harrison writes It was a prosecution case that

Mrs Gould had instigated the crime Like a Lady Macbeth figure And that Veer was easily manipulated And a contemptuous pity And a drunk and a debauched creature Wow So he doesn't come out of it great Honestly you'd rather be the murderer than that

That's so sad Remember historian Jay Robert Nash Who said her first two husbands Had died mysteriously He also added that there may have been more husbands who had met the same fate, meaning that Mrs. Gould seems to have been a serial killer, but that is still a mystery. Harrison continues.

After a quick three-day trial, justice was served, and both were found guilty. And it was super rare at the time, but she got a heavier sentence than him. Normally that would never happen. Yeah, feminist. Get it, Queen. I love the sentence. She was sentenced to death by a guirteen.

That's what you've been fighting for. According to Hodgkinson, it was the right of the condemned to choose where they wanted to die. So they could choose which jurisdiction or whatever. It's going to be by guillotine, but where do you want it to happen? And she chose near the casino. And unfortunately, the jurisdiction did not have a guillotine or an executioner. so her sentence was commuted to life imprisonment. What?

She's a genius. What a sweet loophole she found. I'd choose Atlantis. Yeah, things, you know, things in prison weren't super good. She died seven years later of typhwood fever. Veer, on the other hand, didn't even make it that long. He was sentenced to life in prison on the notorious Devil's Island in French, Giana.

Devil's Island was a French penal colony. Sort of, you know, like Van Demosland sort of only French. And it's located off the coast of French Guiana in South America. It ran as a penal colony for 100 years between 1852 and 1952. I like how they made it, let them make the tongue. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they wanted to wrap it up about four years earlier, but they said, let's just keep it.

Come on, we got to make it to a triple itge. It was notorious for a 75% death rate due to harsh conditions. including tropical diseases and the harsh treatment from wardens. Prisoners on the island were categorised either as political prisoners, habitual criminals, and also felons that were sentenced to hard labour like Vescent Ledger, Gould. Originally anyone with sentences over eight years were sent to live on Devil's Island permanently. So he was there for life, basically.

It was known for its dense jungles and dangerous oceans, so it was pretty much known as it being impossible to escape from. One of the island's most famous prisoners was a man named Alfred Dreyfus, who was a Jewish French army captain, who was wrongly convicted of being a German spy. He eventually had his conviction overturned, but returned a broken man and never recovered from it. He wrote a book about the conditions on Devil's Island,

and apparently his writings were one of the big reasons that contributed to it ultimately getting closed down. Wow. It was apparently, it was just fucked. If I could put it in terms, you understand. And while the island was said to be inescapable, some prisoners did manage to escape, like French anarchist Clement Duvard,

who tried 20 times to escape unsuccessfully, before succeeding. And he made it out and started a brand new life in New York City. Wow. New York City. The most famous escapee was a man named Henri Chaluri, nicknamed Papillon, which is French for Butterfly, is it? He was a safe cracker and thief turned murderer

and was sentenced to life in prison in 1931. He tried to escape a number of times, succeeding twice, once via boat, but was then caught and sent back, and finally in 1944, he escaped on a coconut raft and settled in Venezuela, opening a successful restaurant in Caracas. How big is the coconut? So there's a couple of fun slash grim slash dull facts there. Gould was one of the many, many victims of Devil's Island,

one of the 75% who didn't make it through. He actually died by suicide the following year at the age of 55, and he is still the only Wimbledon finalist to be convicted of murder. So far. I do have some, if you, I had some, in case of time, had some fun facts about Wimbledon if we wanted cheering up. Oh, wow. Jess, would you be up for telling me if these are fun or not?

Yeah. What have we got? I've got like five. Here we go. Maria Sharapova holds the record for the loudest on-court grunt. 101.2 decibels. Which, according to an audiology noise chart, is about the same volume as an MP3 player at full volume or a snowmobile.

Yeah, it's fun. But what made it fun is the snowmobile, to be honest. In 1949, there was an upset win when Wimbledon's shortest ever player, 4'9, Cynthia Gem Hohing, beat 6-foot American model Gussie Moran. Wow. So that's just that a short player played as a tall player.

and she won I'm going to hand that one over to Dave I find that fun which means it's dull in 1913 a number of suffragette women were arrested on the grounds of Wibberton attempting to carry out a politically motivated arson attack I was like yeah and then arson

I'm like yeah it's pretty fun arson's fun yeah all right two more All women and players have to wear white Because back in the day sweat stains were considered improper I never knew that was why Apparently Andre Agassi decided not to play from 88 to 90 Because he couldn't wear his colourful attire

And one year Fetterer got in trouble for orange shoes Nah This last one better be fun You can't sweat But like it does make it pretty bad if you shit yourself You know what I mean? Like, it's really risky. That's why you're in black pants?

Yeah, black pants, black socks, stops it all. And it's the reason why Prince Andrew was allowed to wear colours. Finally, a hawk known as Rufus. Yes, fun, fun. Yeah. Great. Well, he's let out during Wimbledon to keep pigeons away. he was stolen in 2012 but found three days later.

Fun. Where'd he go? I hope he had an adventure. Yeah, that's it. What the hell do we call this episode? Yeah. Because I liked not giving away where it was going. I was going to call it like, oh, we could call it Claire. We could call it Claire.

Because initially I was thinking about calling it Ireland's tennis champion murderer. But that really, that gives quite a lot of it away. Yeah. Yeah. Do Gould on. All right. The crowd is spoken. That's one of the wildest tales we've ever had

because it just was going all over the place the whole time. I thought you'd lost the plot for a bit. I was like, I don't know where this is going. I don't know what's happening. And I was a bit frightened. I'll be real. When it got to the bit where he quit tennis and I was like, is this it?

Yeah. We just talking. He's had a pretty quiet retirement. Apparently, I didn't mention this, but he had an interest in photography. See, that's retirement stuff, isn't it? Exciting stuff. Oh, man, one more time for Matt Stewart, everybody. That was great.

Well done. Thank you so much for coming out this afternoon. Our first time in Ireland, in Dublin, in five years. So an absolute pleasure to have you all here. We will be hanging out for a little bit. I know we saw some of you on the way into our Bison Merch. We appreciate that. the same spot on the way out, if you do want to come say hi,

we've got a limited time because there was another show in after us tonight. So we're here to what, 445 or something? Only a little bit of time. But we'd love to say hi to you. We've still got a bit of merch, but if you just want to say hi, that'd be absolutely fantastic. But no pressure, feel free to just keep heading up the stairs. Yeah, just do this.

And avoid all eye contact. That's also fun. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say something, I was going to say you can flip us off on the way past, but then they'll all do it. And it'll be funny once, and then I'll be funny once, and then after that I'd feel sad, you know, and we've got a long drive after this, so thank you.

I don't know if that deserved an applause. But yeah, we are very, very grateful. What's up? I don't think anyone suggested it. I just looked in the hat. I don't think it's been suggested. Where to come from? I have no idea where it came from.

I think it actually came. We've got a hand up. Have you suggested this? What's your name? Kiran-O-Sullivan. Kieran-O-Solven suggested. Thank you, Kieran. Good stuff.

Yeah, it's very possible that my quick find feature in our spreadsheet did not do the job there. Sorry about that, Kieran. Or you don't know how to spell, so either of the two. Either or. What are the odds, you don't know how to spell or I don't know how to spell? Tell me how you spell your name, mate, and I'll tell you who. Kieran, obviously K-I-E. It's honestly very easy sometimes.

Anyway, Dave, boot this home. Hey, thank you so much again for coming out. Give yourselves a round of applause for us. Coming out on a Saturday afternoon. And thank you to the venue. The Laster Lams are having us. We love this place. Great place.

Jackie up there. Thank you so much. Thank you, Jackie. Chloe's been looking after us as well. A great venue, very well, Ron. So thank you so much. That's the end of the episode. We'll say thank you so much for coming.

But until next time, it's goodbye. Later. Bye! Back in the room. Wow. Wow. We've been transported back into the podcast studio for the Patreon section of this show. And then I guess once we're done here, once we hit stop, we go back to Dublin?

Yeah, we have to and then pick up where we started. Okay. So it's great. We've actually just walked off stage. Yeah. Fantastic. Thank you to the laughter lounge. And everyone in Dublin for having us moments ago.

We got out there to sell some merch. Oh, hang on a sec. All right. Let's keep this quick. No, thank you very much. Everyone did come out to that show. It was a fantastic vibe in there. So fun.

Nice big. venue in my favorite city. Oh, I love that place so much. It was great. And we love all the crowds, of course, but there's something about Irish and Scottish crowds. They just seem funny in the crowd. Do you feel that? Yeah.

There's a couple of comments out there. You just like, you guys are funny. Yeah. Don't say that because I encourage us people to heckles. Yeah, sorry, no heckles. But unless you're Irish or Scottish. That's right. You've got it.

Zip the lip. Okay. Shut up. But now we had a great time. We have lost Matt. Matt didn't teleport here. The whoopsie. He's teleported.

He just said he was having trouble with his teleportation device. Okay. Well, I guess we can just do it just us. Just this time. He's probably like some sort of like, you know, Irish pub. Yeah. In Ireland. Yeah.

Dave, you're being ridiculous. They just call them pubs there, mate. Okay, so, well, this is where we like to spend a little bit of time and really sit in it, really bask in it. Really, yeah, really, yeah. How do you say? How do you say, would we say everyone's favorite section of the show? Yes, yes, that's how I'd say it.

This is kind of like our Patreon section where we thank people that are supporting the show on Patreon, and you can do so at any time at patreon.com slash do go on pod, and you keep us rocking and rolling. Yeah. We can't afford teleportation devices without you. Are you kidding me? And in exchange for the measly sum of supporting us teleporting, you get some rewards, including bonus episodes to do four every single month,

including 250-ish in the back catalogue that you can unlock instantly. So heaps of extra stuff if you're all caught up. You get to hear about live shows before everyone else, which happened on the entire Europe tour. You get discounts on those tickets. You can be part of the Facebook group. And you also, which is a very nice place. Some people say, oh, I don't want to be on that.

No, you do. You do. It's so nice in there. You do. No, trust me. Yeah. Look me in the eye. Trust me.

And you also get shoutouts and some people on the Sydney-Shyneberg level or above get to be part of a section called fact quote or question which I believe has a jingle there might go a little something like this fact quote or question yeah I can go pretty high who are you threatening you just looked over there in a threatening way there's no one there I miss Matt I'm here you're pretty good okay no thank you to everyone they just support us on the fact quote of question level and what you get to do is um write in your name and then also give yourself a title and then a fact quote a question,

a brag, suggestion, a joke, a recipe. A recipe. It could be anything you like. Yep, a comment. Do you want me to read them out this way? Yeah, go on. This is usually Matt's domain. And just like Matt, I haven't read ahead. He never reads them until he reads them, and I haven't done that,

just to pay tribute to the great man. And first up, we've got fantastic patron supporter, which they all are, of course. Michaela McRae, who I just saw in Sydney, early on the week at the time of recording, Matt and I were up there doing our stand-up shows. Michaela came along from Newcastles, a real effort. Yeah, huge.

And then hang around afterwards. We had a beer with a few people, including Michaela, who had to then take the train and bus home to Newcastle. So it was going to be late night, so we appreciate that. And it was a Monday as well, everyone. Oh, my God, Michaela. Michaela's title is Captain Nostalgia. Oh, yeah.

It's very nice. An important job. And I'm a Bacala's given a fact for us to read out. All right, here we go. Hey, gang, I recently saw The Whitlam's. Great Seminal Aussie band live as they are doing a nostalgia tour for the album, Love This City. Tim said at the show that they only ever had one song used on a commercial, the song, You Gotta Love This City, and it was used for Newcastle Holden.

It always struck me as a bit funny that they used the song that was written about Sydney and that the refrain, you got to love this city for its body and not its brain. was chopped off. It's a sad song about a man who has made redundant. His girlfriend breaks up with him basically. Everything falls apart. The part they used in the ad is the chorus of the words, you've got to love this city,

love this city, you got to love it, with backing vocals by Marsha Hines. Oh, wow. So there's some Whitlam's knowledge for you. Hope you're having a blast. Over in the UK. Yes, we are.

We are. Well, we're about to get back to the UK from Dublin. From right here. It's right. Huroo! Thanks, Michaela. I didn't know that. That's very cool.

And also very, very funny. If you know the song, you like, this is not the vibe that they were going for. But hey, I'm glad they took that dollar. Not the city they're talking about. Next up we have Kevin Ulysses Packrad, whose nickname is the King of Chicken Milanese Chickeries. Okay. Wondering if that will be explained. We'll find out.

It's a question. Okay. So let's see. Hey, gang. I'm not sure I've ever asked a question to you before, but I finally came up with one that I think will spark some interesting conversation. And my question is this. What's something you discovered later in life that you wish you had learned about earlier? I asked this because I recently started reading the book A Love Strange Trip, which is a history of the Grateful Dead, a band I've always been intimidated by, partly because I felt their material and law was impenetrable to me, someone who knew next to nothing about them.

That being said, I've always been interested, especially after the tale of two Dream Teams episode, going so far as to buy my own Lithuanian team shirt. Whoa. Something that I've been very keen to do, but the shipping from the guy who makes them, the artist, is crippling. Yeah, okay. You'd be looking at over 100, maybe it's over 100 US for a T-shirt or a lot. Oh, shit. It's a lot.

Yeah. So anyway, but it's great to support the guy. I love learning about the band and discovering all the music they have to offer from their studio stuff to the mountains. of live shows out there. I'm only 23, but I still wish I had started listening earlier. Anyway, looking forward to hearing what you have to say, cheers.

P.S., the history of the Grateful Dead would make an amazing report someday, but it would probably a monster episode to tackle. Wow. Wow. King of Chicken, Milanese, chickeries. Wow. Do you have something that comes to mind that you're like,

I wish I'd discover that earlier? I think there's lots of things of, like, I wish I knew how to do that earlier, or I wish, you know, but I think from Kevin's example, the thing that it came to mind for me is like finding the genre of video games I like. Oh yeah, that's right. Because I really do love getting lost in a video game. But I've probably really only, I've had a switch for a few years, but I've probably really only got stuck into a few games in the last couple of years. Yeah.

And like, really enjoy it. And I'm like, well, I wish I'd found this sooner or I wish games had been more accessible to me. hadn't felt like such a boys club or like, I felt like I was too late to video games to pick them up. Because now you're discovering this style of gaming. They have been out there for a long time. Yeah, I think so, yeah. But I guess there's a lot to discover then.

Yeah, exactly. It's really fun. But yeah. I've just finished it again. And now I'm looking for my next game. What's it going to, you've got anything on the short ones? I don't know. It's so exciting.

What a fun time to have. Yeah. The thing that came to me, this is going to sound a bit silly probably, is our baked beans. Okay. I love them. Yep. But I didn't try. I always thought the concept of a baked bean in a can,

disgusting. Sure. Until I was maybe 17 or 18 and my girlfriend at the time, her family ate them and I was like, oh, I better give this a try. And I was like, oh my God, I love this. I love this. Well, it's a mushy food. Yeah, I love it.

You'd love that. So that came to my... I feel like 1718 is a reasonable time. You know, you've still got so much of your life to enjoy baked beans. But, yeah, I understand. You're like, I would have loved this ages ago. Yeah, exactly. I could have loved this for years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's one that comes to mind. I guess there are other things where I'm like, I wish I'd gotten into this earlier, like... Bitcoin. Yes, exactly. Any kind of crypto, really, yeah. I was thinking more about like learning a language.

I wish I'd just dedicate it at the time to it all these years. Absolutely. But that's not something, I guess. You know, I'm still on the French duo lingo train, but... It's just not the same. I did do a couple of terms of lessons and helped with the very, very, very basics. But there's something that, yeah, I wish that it would have stuck. a lot earlier if I'd started when I was seven.

Yeah. If only your parents had thought ahead. Yeah. Oh, language for sure. It did anything. I wish I'd done anything, Kevin, to be honest with you. But it's a great question, Kevin. It's a really good question.

There's things, and it probably does make you realize that you need to try things. Absolutely. Just start. Exactly, because you give it a go. And if you don't like it, well, you don't have to do it. In 10 years time, you could be going, oh, yeah, I've been meaning to try that. Or it could be something that you've been doing for 10 years. You know?

Yep. Just start things. Just try it. You might love it. You might not. That's fine. Whatever. Do something else.

You know what I mean? That's good advice. Inspirational. I thank you to Kevin and good luck on your Grateful Dead journey. It was also excited when there's something. I'm a bit like that with I. The music one that comes to mind is Nick Cave. Always felt a bit inaccessible because he's got such an incredible discography by the time.

I'm even aware of him being a person. Yeah. And then it was only through Matt that I got into. to sort of exposed to anything that wasn't like sort of his top three for most famous songs. And now I love it. Yeah. And I am enjoying going back, listening to a different Bad Seeds album, listening to a different solo album. And yeah, I guess there are other artists out there that I feel intimidated by someone like Prince.

He's got like 50 albums. And I'm like, he's acclaimed as one of the most successful, best songwriters, fantastic guitarist, all this sort of stuff. But I find it a bit too intimidating to jump in. But I should just pick an album and just give it a go. It's a bit like, yeah. There's several TV shows I've never watched and won't watch because I'm like, oh, it's too many seasons. Oh, that's like, or 10 seasons, you're like, that's over 200 episodes, I can't do that. 25 seasons.

You're like, crazy anatomy, stop. Yes, please stop. We can't keep up. Oh, it's too much. I can never start. Who are all these secret siblings? TikTok fills me in on the majority of it, so that's all good. Great.

If they could do that for everything, that would be awesome. I would really appreciate that. For Prince. Yeah. Can you just summarize Prince for me? Summarize Prince. Thank you next up to Jesse Napa or Jesse Naper. Hopefully I'm saying one of those correctly, whose title is Jesse with an EY, which is true.

J EWS EY is on a reading here, but that's a good shout. Jesse EY has got another question, and that is, Hi, All, I just wanted to say how uplifting it was when Jess was hyping up the spelling of my name in the last fact quota question. From one just to another, I appreciate it. I was in Woolworth's at the time a supermarket that we might be talking up on an episode very, very soon. Oh my God. Or it already happened. Oh, it already happened. Okay.

That we talked up several weeks ago. Yes, oh my goodness. It was the Christmas special about Woolworth's bombing. Anyway, trying my best not to look like a weirder with a goofy smile on my face, but alas, I failed. Jesse's question is, my question to you all is

I am relatively new to performing stand-up. I've been at it on and off for a bit over a year now and it's something that brings lots of joy to my life. I was wondering if you had any advice outside of the obvious, write and perform as much as possible for a stand-up newbie. I generally get pretty good laughs at open mics when I perform in brackets not to brag. Hey, we love a brag here. Love a brag. Brags are allowed here. So I feel like I'm on the right track, but I just thought I'd see if I could get any tips from the pros. Thank you. Yes. We are very professional. As someone who hasn't done stand-up in over a year, let me tell you all that I have to give you.

I kind of wish Matt was here because he is the one that performs consistently the most of us. Yes. And he's never, he's been consistent for 10 years plus. Yeah. And does the most gigs. But that's, I guess, part of my advice. You can take breaks if you want to. I think.

I would agree with that completely. Certainly when I was growing up, when I was starting, it was really like, you got a hustle. You got a gig. You got a eight a week. Yeah, a real open mic culture. Hey, if you want to be a comedian, this is what you have. This is the only way. And if you're not doing this, you're not a comedian.

Exactly. It's like, no, you're a human being. So you're allowed to have a life outside of stand-up comedy to then talk about stand-up comedy. Exactly. That really helps. You've got to have a life. Especially if that's something that you're minding for your act, absolutely. And I think, and it may be too early to say this, Jesse, as well. But, like, what I wish I'd thought more about was, what do I want to get out of this?

Is it just to enjoy it? Fuck yeah. Do that. I think you can get a bit swept up in other people's goals and other people's ambitions or where they're heading to, and you can end up doing a podcast for 10 years that you never wanted to do. That's happened to some people we know, Aitchie? I've heard of people that's happened to.

No, no, no, no, no. That's a joke. But what I was saying is true. Think about what you want to get out of it. If you're like, I'd really like to write on a TV show, then work towards that. If you want to just do a festival show every year or something, fuck yeah, do that. If you want to be one of the biggest stand-ups of, uh, of Australian history, you got some work to do.

Yeah, I mean, you can give it a go. You can absolutely do it. But there's not only one way to get there. Yeah, exactly. As a piggybacking off your joke there, the opposite way I feel is that you can also, by doing stand-up comedy, get into things that you probably didn't consider that you would do and then be happy that it sort of happened along with like a podcast or often, like writing on a TV show, there are ways to get into that.

But there's also, you meet someone and they go, hey, you're very funny. Do you want to do this? Or I would say collaboration is an. other thing. Yeah, huge. Especially if you want to meet people, work with other people and work out how they think and maybe like this is a great way to learn about comedy from other's perspectives. Collaborate, maybe do a split show, maybe launch a podcast, do a quiz show, do all sorts of different, make some TikTok videos together, write some sketches. You learn together and then other people often will see that and then they start asking you to do things. And then you learn

from then and it just becomes this thing. And it's often is, and it's not what you know, who you know, that does help a lot. Yeah, absolutely. And it just, yeah, helps give you a different perspective. And be open to trying things. Trying things and going back to what you said at the start, there's not just one way to do things. A lot of people will tell you, hey, this is the only way to do it. And often, they're not even professional yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're telling you, hey, you have to do this. They've been doing for 15 years, but they're still at the same open mics you are every week. This is what you have to do. Yeah. This many open marks, then you have to try and do this thing with a comedy festival. Then you have to do your first solo show, but only when you're ready because you need to win an award. And if you don't win an award, then you'll never get to do the Comedy Festival Road Show. And then you'll never get to tour to Edinburgh.

And then you'll never win an award. It's like, there's so many. That was genuinely such a thing with like, don't, don't do your first solo too early. Because then you won't get nominated for Best Newcomer. And it's like, okay, who was nominated for Best Newcomer last year? I don't know. Yeah, I'm not sure. This year, I don't remember.

Yeah. And it's obviously, it's a lovely pat on the back. It's amazing. I'm not shitting on that, but it's just like, there's 500 shows in the festival. Yeah, and there's only one best new come every year. If you're ready and you want to do it, just do it. Exactly. And it'll be a great experience in other ways if you do, if you do a solar show or a split show or whatever it is.

Whatever you want to do. If that's what you want to do. So, yeah, basically, there's no set way and don't feel bad if you have to take breaks. Yeah, just be a person. It's great that you're enjoying it, so keep enjoying it. Yeah, that's awesome. And if you're not enjoying it, you can take a break. Absolutely.

Come back to it. Go do something slightly different. You'll meet some great people, but also it doesn't have to be your whole life. You'll meet some fucking terrible people. We'll make some absolute duds and you'll be stuck doing a podcast with them for 10 years. So we've heard. So we've heard. I've heard of that happening.

Maybe that's happening. Dumb. You know, definitely not us. Thank you, Jesse and good luck with all the gigs. Hopefully we might see you out there one day. And next up, finally we've got Nick Verde Rosa, who is giving themselves to the title, official Yankee Doodle Dandy of the Bond. Okay.

Well, we needed a Yankee Doodle Dandy. Remember just last week I was saying to you, Dave, we need to get a Yankee Doodle Dandy of the pod. Oh my goodness. We, that position has been open for too long. Too long. And now, glad to have you. And our official Yankee doodle dandy, which is hard to say, has given us a suggestion,

which we love. Okay. I hope it's constructive. Yeah, go fuck yourself. Just a suggestion. This is, this is great. When you make your way to the USA, I highly suggest you stopping by the pizza capital of the US.

Okay. Which is have a guess. Pizza town. That would be great. It's New Haven, Connecticut. it. Ah. Do not let New York, New Jersey, or even Chicago, try to trick you.

Pepe's or Peppies, Selleys, bar, and dozens of other pizza parlors located around New Haven have the best pizza, or as they call it, a pizza. The best a pizza. The best a pizza in the country. I don't know. I frequented Joe's pizza quite a lot in New York. They finished by saying, I'm partial to Sallies, but Pepe's white clam pizza is a fan favorite.

Seafood pizza. Nick, you're doing the opposite of a cell to me at this point. I'm not onto it either. A white clam pizza. Sure there's some others. How about just a cheese pizza, Nick? Have they got that? Or have they got a cheese and I've put a baby goat on it, pizza?

Have they drained the ocean to put it into my pizza, Nick? It's actually called Sally's A Pizza. That's incredible. That's awesome. I'm looking forward to. to give them that a try. In Connecticut, okay, hey, we'll have to put on the list, and we really appreciate any suggestion like that.

I love pizza, Nick. I love pizza. Again, the white clam thing, you put me off. But... Hey, don't worry, we'll give you a second chance. So thank you to Nick, Jesse, Kevin and Michaela. The next thing we'd like to do is thank a few of our Patreon supporters by name and often location.

They've told us where they are. And if we don't know, that's because they haven't told us. Yeah. And you can always check on patreon.com if you want to make you. make sure your address is up to date for the annual Christmas card, which we cut off at the 1st of November. And these people, we usually like to give them a bit of a nickname.

We play a bit of a game that you come up with Jess. Yeah. Keeping in mind, yeah. So this guy was a murderer, obviously, but also Wimbledon, like a 10th class. Finest. Finest. Pretty impressive. So I was thinking, obviously, they're all murderers,

but like what are their day jobs? Oh, what are they? They're slashes. Slash. Slash. They're slashes, slashes. Yes. Slash.

Yeah. Right. Perfect. Could be a day job, could be a passion. Okay, great. Love it. But yeah, it's like, it's what's their title? Obviously, they're all, we know they're killers.

What are they writing on a customs form? Yeah, that's right. You're not going to write murderer. No. That would be weird. That would probably flag you. Raise a few flags. Exactly.

Okay. Do you want to, we'll take turns. Yeah, perfect. Okay, great. Well, I'll kick things off. Firstly, we would love to thank from, oh, address unknown. Okay. So we can only assume.

deep within the fortress of the miles, please welcome, Ortree. Ortree. I don't know I said, please welcome, but, you know,

please welcome to the shoutouts. Playout to the shoutouts. Okay, Ortry. Ortry murderer slash botanist. Oh, really? That's good. Yeah.

And all people ever want to ask Orchry about is the murder. Yeah, hey. It's like, what about my botany? Yeah. Huh? You know?

I've got layers. I've got dimensions. I am, I can tell. multitudes. Yes. Hey, I might have killed several people. Sure, I've also killed a lot of plants.

Yes, yes. And I've learned a lot about succulents along the way. That was pretty good stuff. That's pretty good stuff. Thank you, Autry. Next up, I would like to thank from Markham in Illinois in the USA. It's Nick Rospapa. Oh, Nick Rosspapa.

Nick Rosspapa. Rosspapa. Is a murderer slash sea captain. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's how he did it. A lot of the time. Yeah, honestly, it's a really good way to dispose of the bodies. Yeah.

But also... Unfortunately, there was CCTV on the boat. Oops. Yeah. Live feed to the police. I think, yeah, you can't really throw the CCTV if it's live into the ocean. You can't. So that's how Nick got busted.

But Nick's also a great captain. Great captain. The people he's not killing. He's looking after really, really well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Making sure that everyone's safe. So, you know.

Safety standards are always absolutely seen to. That's right. So, Nick? And he cleans up really nicely after the murder. Exactly. He's probably killed. lots, but probably saved lives as well. Yeah, that's right. They don't ever factor that in. Next up, from Brisbane, here in Queensland, Ben. Ben is a murderer slash air conditioner repairman.

Oh, really? My goodness, Matt Stewart might have come across. Yeah, probably. Yeah, it's probably why Ben listens to the podcast. Probably Matt mentioned it. It's just on this pod, actually. That's why I'm leaving. You've got to go be a big podcast star. And Ben was like, all right. but and we're still trying to prove Ben wrong. Obviously, during summer, it's a busy time for an air conditioner repairment. But in winter, that's the off-season. That's when you get your murdering done. That's right.

Air conditioning and murdering, they're seasonal jobs, okay? And so it's just smart. Keep yourself busy the whole time. Definitely. Why are we defending all the murderers? It's an interesting thing that we've fallen into is sort of justifying. Because I think we just naturally like our Patreon supporters. Oh, speak for yourself.

Yeah, I testify for these people Yeah, yeah, yeah They've supported us for a long time I'll be on the stand there going Ben, great block Okay, I'm going to remember that When I commit the crime Hey, I would like to thank from

Strathalbin Strathalbine Surely Strathalbin Strathalbin Strathalbin It's in South Australia I actually haven't heard of it

But I have heard of Amber Budden Amber Budden What's Amber? Murderer slash? Murderer slash, and you're never going to believe this is the perfect cover for a murderer. A chainsaw sharpener. Chain saw sharpener.

So if you, like, you obviously have blunted your saw? Yeah, of course. I'm going to throw it out. I'll take it to Amber, get it back. Do you not just replace the saw bit? You sharpen them? You've got to sharpen the chain. Wow.

And Amber does that and obviously puts them to whatever use that they see fit. I'm not defending Amber's extracurricular activities but I will say I've had my chainsaw sharpened by Amber and it was very very sharp

Wow Yeah A little too sharp Yeah a little bit of blood Was on there actually Okay Very interesting But I assume that Amber

Just cut themselves You know I've looked up the town It's like an hour East South east of Adelaide Oh great So it looks like a gorgeous

gorgeous part of the world Beautiful, Amber. Near like Lake Alexandrina. I hope to see you at the Adelaide Fringe Festival. Myself and Sam Peterson doing our show. Dave Warnocky dates the entire audience coming up in March. Awesome. I didn't know you're going to do that in Adelaide.

That's great. Yes, I think where we're premiering it, which should be good fun. Yeah, four nights at the Rhino Room. Oh, great. Yeah, that'll be really fun. That would be really, really good. Well, thank you to Amber. I would like to also shout out and thank from Roderua.

In New Zealand, it's Lisa M. Lisa M. Okay. Now, obviously, headline, they'd call Lisa a murderer. Sure. But you know Lisa properly. Yes. What are they known for?

Lisa is obviously murder. But more importantly, a barista. Oh, great. Everyone needs a good barista. Oh, my God. And Lisa's one of the best, honestly. If the coffee's good enough, you are willing to forgive a lot. I would drive past eight other cafes.

to get to Lisa. Because I'm like, well, fuck, you know, I'm a, I'm a one coffee a day kind of gal most of the time. You don't want to waste your one shot. I'm pushing if I'm going to two. So I want it to be good. Yeah. I want to enjoy it.

It's one of few joys I have in my life. I just, I wish that was a joke. But I just, like, if a doctor ever said you've got to cut out coffee completely, I'd be like, Doc, let's discuss other options. What else you got? How do we end this? Yeah, surely there's something else for this. I'm okay.

I'm happy for you to amputate the leg. Let it go and they're like, this has nothing to do with your leg. And I'm like, take it anyway. Take the other arm. Take the other arm. What do you want? What do you need for me to satisfy you that I can keep drinking coffees? It's my only joy.

Lisa M. Thank you so much. Thank you, Lisa. I would like to thank from another location that is unknown to us. I can only assume it's deep within the fortress of the malls. And this is two letters, both capitals. C. C.S. Lewis, of course.

Oh, my goodness. From the dead to support us. Thank you, C.S. Or maybe it's like the, you know, the trust fund of. That would be huge. Obviously, still sell heaps. Massive. So thank you, C.S. C.S. is a murderer.

Crime suspect. C.S. Oh, my gosh. Yes. You're on fine. I'm actually doing really well today. That's really, really good. Well, fine then. What are they? They're a murderer slash?

Slash. I keep just looking around the roof. Oh, okay. I'll live you. No, they're just much. sky rider. Skyrider. One of the best in the viz.

Absolutely amazing. And again, great way to dispose bodies out the plane. Oh, great. Yeah. No one will ever look on the ground. Who's looking on the ground for bodies?

C.S. Hey. If I could write a message to you on the sky right now, would say, thank you. For the bodies? Oh, for the Patreon. Oh, that makes a way more sense.

Next up, I would love to thank from Chinchilla in Queensland. It's how you have to say it. The killer from Chinchilla. Fuck me dead. Sorry for my language, but that was worth a fuck me dead. From Chinchilla, I'd love to please thank Aaron sells the killer from Chinchilla. That is awesome. That is fun.

I'm jazz singer. Oh, that's nice. So it all really works. Yeah, that's great. And when Aaron gets out of prison, his next jazz album is going to be called Killer from Chinchilla. It's a bit like an OJ, a Simpson thing of like. Like, if I did it, I think, Aaron's just leaning in. And people love him for it.

Aaron, I can't wait to hear you sing. Yeah. And kidding. A beautiful voice, I'm sure. I would like to thank from Enfield in Great Britain. It's Talia Hassan or Talia Hassan. Talia is, of course, obviously, as the pattern goes, and as we know of Talia, murderer. A murderer.

But also... A deep sea fisherman. Whoa! deep sea. Deep sea. How deep? Like really deep. 20 feet?

Way deeper. The fuck? 20,000 feet. No, Dave. Okay, fine, not really. The water doesn't get that deep. Okay, not that deep, but 2,000 feet. Whoa!

Like off an oil rig with a big pole. Yeah, shit. With a really big pole. Just going on a fishing ride. Fishing road, one fish at a time. No, like, none of this net stuff or, wow. And also, being so deep, it is also, again, great for the of the bodies.

True. Sleeping with the fishes. But lots of fish have been caught by Tyler as well. Yeah. And those fish feed people and keep them alive. So I'm just saying... One out, meaning. Exactly.

The good could outweigh the do. The good do outweigh the bad. The could outweigh the dew. Your Honor, her else my kids. Your Honor, what do you say we break for lunch? I think we can all agree. I've nailed it. Talia.

luck out there, those rigs. Good luck with that fucking lawyer you've got. He's terrible. Finally, bringing it all home from Johnston in IA. What's IA? Indiana? Oh my God, let me look that for you. It's Iowa.

It's going to say, oh, God damn it. Johnston in Iowa, please thank Allie. Allie, of course, murderer. but on the side, she operates a ski lift at a chalet. Oh, hey, we all need. Which I'm sure Iowa is known for. Yes. Very chalet heavy.

Chalet heavy state. The chalet state, I think is what it says on their number plates. If I'm not mistaken, which I really am. So thank you to all of our favorite murderers. Allie, Talia, Aaron, C.S. Lisa, Amber, Ben, Nikki and Ortery. And Dave, there's one final thing we need to do. That is, see if we're going to induct anyone into the

Triptitch Club this week. This is our Theatre of the Mind, our Hall of Fame, where people who have been supporting the show on the shadow level or above are welcomed into the clubhouse. They're cheered on by the former members, which is like over a thousand or something at this stage. Yep. And you're treated to food, drink, music,

live entertainment, activities, yep. Social events. Yep, there's an air hockey table. Don't touch it. but anything else you can have. It's fun. It's got everything you need.

We've got toilets. We got them. And Dave. Toilets, multiple. Exciting news for you. There are five inductees. And I would like to take on the role of Matt Stewart, which is reading them off the clipboard, lifting the velvet rope. Love that.

Welcoming them in while you stand on stage, you hype them up, I hype you up. We don't have Matt this week being a real sad sack about. your weak wordplay. I could just really cruise here, couldn't you? You could have a great time. You also book a band, Dave. Have you booked a band? Yes, I have booked an Irish band.

You're never going to believe it. We were just there. We've teleported from Dublin. And we are being joined by the Dubliners. Oh my God. What a get. Irish folk band legends. Huge.

Absolutely huge. Oh my goodness. Every single past member has their own wiki page. That's, you know, they're big. They are big. Yeah. That's good stuff. I'm behind the bar as well.

Obviously, we've got Guinness on tap. I've got Irish whiskey. I have got Irish stew ready to go. Got some soda bread. Oh, my goodness. Got everything you could need. We had some great food in Dublin before we teleport it back here. We went out together.

I had a lovely pie. You had a stew. I had a veggie stew. It was fucking delicious. I had a mini Guinness because I was the designated driver that night. Yeah. I didn't think I even drove home. I think I drove there.

Yeah, I think Matt ended up driving home, which is pretty funny. I was the dancing, even though I had the half-pine and he had the full part. But anyway, it was over. I mean, I just had a soft drink. We should have got you driving. But there was no, it was the one drink. And then obviously, we ate and it was a long time. So don't want anyone to be worried about it.

It's just funny that I was like, oh, just in case I got to drive. I'll just have a half-punit. I always am very, very, very, very cautious in this. That's pretty funny. Okay, ready. Are we ready to welcome some people in? Let's get them in, baby! All right.

First up from Austin, but not the Texan one in California. Please welcome in Alex Hill. I've got to tell you, there's only one hill I'll die on, and that's Alex Hill. You're going to die on Alex Hill? I'll die for you. What were you doing to Alex Hill before you died on them? Stop asking questions. Woo!

That's right. That's the got to shit that Matt would be. Next up from Inverness in Great Britain, I'm going to guess that's probably Scotland, Jordan Taylor. Jordan Taylor. They'll never fail. Oh, from Brookline, Massachusetts. Is that Massachusetts? Yeah, let's assume so.

I'll double check. It is Eric Romo. I was getting Eric Fomo until I met Eric Romo. Because everyone else would met Eric was like, you've got to meet him. It was Massachusetts. Yes. From Hallie in, oh, B.E. Bear, bear.

This is Belgium, is it? Is it Belgian? Is this true? It's in Belgium. That's awesome. Well, please welcome in, Alison M. Alison M, the M stands for my favourite person from Belgium. Whoa!

I don't mean it. Poirot? Alison. Fuck. You like Alison more than Poirot. Yeah, Poirot, 2, tin, tin three. Alison, honestly, obviously welcome into the Tripitch Club and thank you so much, but you should be so flattered by what Dave just said.

And finally, bringing it home, I would love to thank from Menasha in Wisconsin. That is a guest. Sam. dem die mel demel die mel die male okay

I just need to know what you're going to say you're going to go Sam I um you make me never want to die Mel you know

you give me a reason to live I live for you Sam I'm not dying Mel stuff like that Who's Mel Who's Mel? Who knows?

Who the hell is Mel? Thank you so much Sam Allison Eric Jordan and Alex We love you and thank you. Go and enjoy the Dubliners.

Thank you to everybody for listening. We had a really fun time. There's going to be, if you enjoy the live episodes, there's another one coming out either next week or the week after. And then we still have a couple more from this European tour that will be coming out later on, you know, in the next few months probably. Yeah, that's right. Spread them out a little bit.

Spreading them a little. But I guess that brings us to the end of the show. I just want to say that I love you all, that you can find us on social media. Go GoOnPod. Do GoOnPod.com is our website and suggest a topic. If you come across something, you read a fun article, you see a YouTube video, you go, this could be a bit of fun. You end up in a Wikipedia rabbit hole and you go, this would be a fun topic.

Send it our way, baby. There's a link in the show notes and on our website, which again is dogoonpod.com. Now, Davey, your boy, boot this baby home. Thank you again for joining us for this section of the podcast. And until next time, also thank you so much. And goodbye. Bye. Ladies!

Bye! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree.

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