Do Go On - 483 - The Kidnapping of Alfred The Gorilla

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Alfred the gorilla was an icon of Bristol Zoo, known and loved around the world, when he died his body was put on display at the Bristol City Museum. One morning in 1956, staff arrived at the museum to find his body had been stolen! Who would do such a thing? Find out on this episode recorded live at The Tobacco Factory Theatre in Bristol.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 05:49 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.theguardian.com/education/2010/mar/04/bristol-alfred-gorilla-theft-mysteryhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_the_Gorillahttps://www.bbc.co.uk/ahistoryoftheworld/objects/acBlyEkETBKkpOIII5QdvQhttps://collections.bristolmuseums.org.uk/stories/alfred-the-gorilla/#:~:text=A%20mysterious%20disappearance&text=In%20March%201956%20the%20curator,caretaker%2C%20and%20was%20later%20returned.http://www.factfiend.com/alfred-turd-throwing-hero-gorilla-bristolhttps://epigram.org.uk/10-weird-and-wonderful-things-bristol-university-students-did-to-raise-money-for-rag-week/ https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/is-there-truth-behind-the-bristol-zoo-parking-attendant-myth/https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/there-truth-behind-urban-myth-4941098 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. Bristol, how you doing out there? Oh my goodness, thank you so much. Man, it's good to be here in the city of the bridge.

Yeah. We love that bridge. Yeah, what a... We went over a different bridge today, and as we went over, we were like, fuck you. Boo, why do you even exist? There's a better bridge just over there. What's that bridge called? The one that we love?

Yeah. Your favourite bridge, what's it called? What's it called? Your favourite bridge in the whole wide world? Obviously, you know the name. It's one of my favourites. Where's it sit in the top five? I'd say two.

Okay. And it's called... Well, I... Because I've become so close to it. I normally have a nickname for it. Yeah. I don't know what the official name that others call it, but I call it...

Bridgy. Pretty good. Is it the Bristol Bridge? No. Suspension Bridge. That's getting closer. Oh, it's the suspension bridge. Yeah, but it's also got another word in there.

Oh, well, they don't think so. Is that right? Clifton suspension bridge. I know your bridge. I love your bridge. Yeah, that's, I call, I just call him Cliff. Yeah. This is a good guy.

It feels sturdy life. We're not going to talk about the bridge today. I'm sorry, sorry to say. I do have a Bristol story coming up for you, though. But before we get there, we always ask, give us a cheer if you've ever heard the podcast before. Brilliant. And we also follow up with this question

and feel free to shout your lungs out right now if you've never heard the show ever before in your life. A few, great. Here in the front row. Every time, they're always in the fucking front row. I think that's eight shows in a row on the sewer. And you just said no. Does that mean you haven't heard the show?

Or no, I have heard the show. Now you're speaking our language. Yeah. That is actually... That's Australian. I reckon you have heard it before from that. You know what we're about. Sorry, for the people that haven't heard it,

we take it in terms here to report on a topic which is often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a little bit of research, then bring it back to the group. Now, it is my turn to do the report this week, and we always start... They did not give a shit about that. Yeah.

Whenever... Whenever it's me or Jester and the report, people stand up, they cheer. Yeah, yeah. But whenever it's Dave, it's... sad actually. Yeah. Everyone's like,

why do we come to the duds night? Yeah. Because that's what you all call him the dud. I look at them to find the curtain. It's usually the opposite

and I didn't let pause there because I didn't want you to make them feel bad. So the question is, to get us on the topic. You're a piece of shit. I'll throw it to these guys and then I'll see if anyone

in the crowd knows if they don't get to the right answer. But the question is, what kind of animal is 1930's Bristol local celebrity Alfred? It.

Oh, what kind of happen? Well, the local soccer, rugby team is called the Bears. So I'm going to go for Bear. No. Is that right, though, the Bears? Okay, fuck, thank God. Rugby?

Yep. There's one sports fan here. Big rugby fandom in here to not. Big overlap, I think. Is it going to be an animal that Matt will be annoyed at himself for not picking? Yes, it will be. So it's a primate? It is a primate, yeah.

That's not the end of my guess. You were doing really well here. Thank you. Is it a... Can I just see your iPad for a second? I'm going to say orangutan. You're correct? I was going to say that.

Chimpanzee. No. I was going to say mama set. I was going to say Gorilla. It is Alfred the Gorilla. You are correct. My next guest was going to be Elaine's brown titty. But I don't think that's a real one.

So the odds of it being that were pretty long. Pretty long. Now I say it's a 1930s Bristol local celebrity, but are you locals, the people that are local to Bristol, are you aware of Alfred? A few, okay. Few?

And give us the chief you've never heard of Alfred. Okay, because of the majority. And either have you heard of Alfred? Of course. Yeah, okay. Alfred the gorilla, no, never. And yeah, it is, to be honest, a primate topic as well.

so feel free to put this in the primates feed. I will 100%. We won't be putting in the Dugan feed. No. Welcome to primates, everyone. So good to be back in the monkey house. Here we are. Where we explore primates in popular culture from Chimpan A

all the way down to Chimpan Z. I'm your host, Matt Stewart. We'll just edit this in later, yeah. I think it's something like that, don't you? So I put up four Bristol topics for the vote, and this won, there were like nearly a thousand votes and it won by a single vote. While I was waiting, I was watching it for a couple of days,

go, oh, that's in front, this is in front. Like non-stop as well. You take it serious. You didn't sleep for days. Let me just refresh it now. Oh no. Oh no. I have to write another report about World War II.

Okay. Bristol has a long history with gorillas. The first gorilla bones. ever bought to Britain were brought to Bristol. I mean, a long history with guerrillas. The first bones were brought here. Yeah. Are you proud of that?

You are. Is that good? What did you do with them? Yeah. Come on, you've got the bridge, you've got gorilla bones. You've got a lot happening. Oh. What do they make the bridge out of?

Oh. We don't talk about it. So American naturalist, Dr. Thomas Savage, Dr. Savage is incredible. That's amazing. Was sent to Liberia in Western Africa in 1836 and wrote of a discovery he'd made to Sir Richard Owen. Sir Richard Owen was a well-known paleontologist

and is probably best remembered today for coining the word dinosauria, which became dinosaur, meaning terrible reptile or fearfully great reptile. So Dr. Savage wrote to Sir Owen about some bones he'd found in Africa. He said,

I have found the existence of an animal of extraordinary character in this locality and which I have reason to believe is unknown to the naturalist as yet I have been unable to obtain more than part of a skeleton he got a bit more three skulls were sent to Bristol and when they made their way to Richard Owen

the guy that coined the dinosaur phrase Did he think it was all from the same animal A triple-headed This thing's crazy It's got one spine, three heads and nothing else Can't picture wriggling around Probably just begging to be put out of his misery So he proposed, this is Richard Olin proposed, to name the animal after Dr. Savage as troglodytes savagy.

However, by the time the paper was published, a guy called Dr. Jeffrey Wyman of Harvard, had already published a description of the bones with the name troglodytes gorilla. I was hoping there was a doctor gorilla somewhere in here. I was really hoping for that. Well, when do you think the name comes from? The first living gorilla reached Europe in the 1880s. However, these animals all died within a couple of years, often from lung disease. When a zoo in Poland had a gorilla reached the age of seven, it was thought to be a miracle.

Bristol Zoo got their first gorilla in the year 1900, however, it soon died. Sorry about that. Just for the people who've never heard this, this is technically a comedy show. Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. But they, I mean, the problem was they were smoking a pack of day. Well, they thought that's what they did. the wild. Here we are at the tobacco factory tonight. A few decades went by and Alfred the gorilla was born around 1928 in what was then the Belgian Congo. He was initially

found by an expedition from the North American Museum of Natural History. According to Wikipedia, which is a great gorilla website that I found. What does it stand for? What WikiPedia? Yeah. What's that good to do with gorillas? Yeah. Look they're either going to call them like savagy gorillas or wikis. And they went with gorillas, so sorry about that. That's boring, I regret asking. The expedition members were told that a pair of gorillas had been shot for raiding a farmer's field for food. It does get more fun, I swear.

And afterwards, a baby was discovered and suckled by a local woman. I told you it gets more fun. Hey, can I double check what is, like a bottle or? And that was in this city? No, that was still in Africa. Okay, all right. Still in Africa? Okay.

The baby gorilla was later sold to a Greek merchant and then taken to modern day Cameroon where the expedition encountered him playing in the streets. He was described by the expedition as the liveliest specimen of his kind we had ever seen. The others have been bones. Is this the first they've seen? Say again.

Is this the first of his kind they've seen? The way that he is lively. I've never seen them before. I assume the other side is lively as this one. In 1930, Bristol Zoo, already successful in raising chimpanzees, acquired Alfred for 350 pounds, which is about 20,000 pounds today. Whoa. The zoo's newest edition was in fact a silverback lowland gorilla

and was named after Alfred Mosley, a benefactor of the zoo. A fitting tribute, I think we can all agree. After the gorilla arrived at the zoo on September 5th, which became the day. his birthday was celebrated. Okay, that's nice. Did they have a party for him? Yeah, every year.

Do they put a little hat on him? Yeah. Well, he actually does wear little outfits. It's awesome. Is it? No, let's lean into awesome. It's awesome, and he likes it. He loved it.

100 years ago, he loved it. His enclosure was positioned just inside one of the entrances, and this prominent position, alongside his vibrant personality, meant that he quickly became one of the zoo's main attractions. His keeper, a guy called Frank Guys, which sounds like a fake name. His middle name was dis.

If you see it written down, that does work quite well. They still got it. They're not idiots. Yeah, you should have heard Birmingham last time. Oh my God. well yeah we had to spell it out for them it was my report

there wasn't a lot of spelling out though it was a lot of single entendres in there yeah it was the single horniest episode we've ever done regrettably so it was fucked

so we're going to talk about a wholesome griller today His keeper Frank guys would walk with Alfred around the zoo to see the other animals or whilst the baby gorilla wore knitted woolen jumpers. Matt, if you don't think that's cute, you're dead inside. I just find them really itchy and I can only imagine as a fellow silverback, that just would have been uncomfortable.

So, yeah, I think that's fucked. By his third year he had grown a lot and had hit 50 kilos and had become very strong. He broke a photographer's tripod during his birthday party. Yes. And after this, he was no longer allowed to wander the zoo on his daily walks.

Aw. Oh, he was out loose, was he? Yeah, just let him go. With a keeper with him. Oh, yeah, yeah. I imagine them holding hands. Yeah. And being like, whoa, look.

Oh, that keeper is going to get ripped apart. Is that where this is going? Well, we'll find out. That's a yes. Yeah, they don't know yet. They just think, this gorilla's my best friend. That gorilla's going to kill you. He became the oldest gorilla to survive in captivity in 1938.

His diet was completely vegetarian, which was an innovation in the practice of keeping captive guerrillas. There was a little woo for that. It's entirely vegetarian. Woo! But that is, that's funny. They were all dying because they were being fed meat that they don't. eat in the wild is that right well they eat mostly pants some bugs and stuff but i think they were

literally giving them steak oh okay what's wrong with this gorilla eat up eat your bacon come on to celebrate becoming the oldest gorilla in the world visitors what in zoos that is visitors were invited to guess alfred's weight oh man let's go from a celebration to like let's all have a laugh at this fat fuck brutal That's rough. One minute you're going, oh yeah, thank you. Oh, okay, I see. But anyway, Dave, Jess is getting on.

Let's guess her weight. Hmm, hmm. Hmm. Do you like how we dress her in a woolen knit? Yes, the boys do dress me. So people are invited to guess Alfred the gorilla's weight, and I don't know how many. people guessed, but the closest guess was 20 stone, a stone being about 6.3 kilos.

That was the closest guess to his weight of 26 stones. So the closest guest was 127 kilos and he weighed 165. What is wrong with Bristolians? They didn't get anywhere near it. Wow. So it was a great birthday party. He had a great time. Yeah.

He got cake. He got weighed. They were just being nice. Oh, geez, he's looking. slim. Under, under. Always under. How old do you think I am?

Twelve. You know, so. Alfred was the face of the zoo and became extremely popular. His status is one of the zoo's main attractions is reflected by the fact that many of them recall, this is people that visited, that rather than going to the zoo, they would often think of their visits as going to see Alfie. That's quite cute. That deserved more of an awe.

Oh. Thank you. I'm not sure he felt exactly the same way. He disliked aeroplanes, buses, specifically the double-decker variety absolutely enraged him. Why, they're awesome. Yeah, he's, fuck that. He also hated bearded men. See, isn't it interesting that we both looked at Matt?

I mean, I think... You don't even consider that a beard. I think I would have been fine. Man, that hurts. Alfie, no. I'd show for Alfie. I'd show for Alfie. Please don't.

The problem was, it'd see me be like, oh, actually. Put it back on. Jeez, that's a tiny mouth. I understand what you were doing. That chin is not street-ready. Weird way to put it, Alfie, but okay. Take your point. Harsh but fair.

He was also offended by Rosie the elephant being allowed to walk past his enclosure which would cause him to sulk. So Rosie's walking past he's flipping her off. Fuck you, fuck you Rosie.

What is going on in this zoo? All the animals, elephants are huge, they shouldn't be roaming. He's gone for a wander, holding that guy's hand. Rosie's going to rip him apart. I hope this is

badly. For the humans. Yes. Alfie seemed to like some of the zoo's visitors and people would come back many times to sit by his enclosure

but he wasn't a fan of every visitor to the zoo and he would often throw piles of his own shit at people. One visitor recalled quote, Alfred used to express his opinion of the human race by picking up large lumps of his droppings

and hurling them accurately at the spectators in front of his cage. Okay. It was a delight for small schoolboys to be able to act as cheerleaders to this somewhat one-sided contest. I love that. Somewhat, some people did throw their shit back.

But it wasn't just limited to shit. According to the Bristol Museum, who wrote about this in the 90s, Alfred also had a habit of urinating on visitors after climbing the bars of his cage. One child was born. beckoned over by the gorilla. Hey.

Hi. Hey. Come here. Oh, okay. Come in a little closer. I guess I'm going to show you. And then when she approached, he urinated on her head. Accurately.

Accurately. The story is still remembered by her grandchildren today. Who often, this is again from the Bristol Museum, who often asked to see the gorilla who, quote, did a wee on great grandma. when they visit the museum. Like it's a beautiful treasured family memory, but it also sort of says

not much else happened to her in her life. That's all they know about her. This reporter's son have a bit in common with last night's one, actually. It'll never be out publicly, but it was a lot about shitting. More human shit. Anyway, it's all right.

I regret bringing that up again. But normally this is not. two in a row is weird normally we only do scat every once a month maybe bi-monthly yeah yeah yeah yeah we're normally we're pretty cool

this is the final sentence in this this chapter oh my god it's still going all right that is how we felt for a full hour with your report last night oh my god he's still going Alfred had spent years perfecting the angle he climbed his cage to get the perfect

shot of piss to hit his unsuspecting victim I love that dedication You have to respect that Alfred was also fond of playing Hide and Seek with visitors One of a visitor recalled how she once got a head stuck in the bars of Alfred's cage when she was 10 What the fuck is happening in these suits?

How vulnerable are you? Oh my God He doesn't even have to aim from a distance He could go point blank range Alfred no She was later rescued by a St John's ambulance worker. What a waste of their time. I know.

I imagine it was a frequent call. Oh, another child stuck in Alfred's enclosure, okay. She recalled, how did Alfred react to my dilemma? He just sat in the corner of his cage, clapping his hands loudly and laughing. She now tells the story to her grandchildren when they visit the zoo. Honestly, get a life. Do something else with your life.

One time I got my head stuck in those bars. It was the most interesting day of my entire existence. Nah, good on those old ladies. They didn't like that I was mean to the old ladies. I'm trying to win them back. They're like, that's my great-grandma you're talking about. Jess, as a feminist, we should lift up women. You know what I mean?

It's not that hard, mate. Five minutes ago, he was trying to guess my weight. And you're all fucking on team Matt. Are you fucking serious? Jess, Jess, Jess. Don't even start me. I find women hot. And I think they all are and I think they should be weighed.

And that's the main reason. You know when I always say we should lift women up? That's to weigh them. Full clapping it. What the fuck? Take it back one layer. And it's like, it's fucking weird. But you're all like,

I don't get you, people. I've lost them again. How good are these old ladies? Yeah. Probably heavy. I don't know what they want. I've got a bit of tape on that. Hey, I was saving that for later.

Thank you. Alfred's fame really took off during World War II. Some of the animals were moved away from Bristol Zoo during the war, but Alfred remained. Okay. Sounds like they don't care about him. The presence of the US Army and their troops in Bristol allowed Alfred's popularity to spread further

as soldiers sent images and stories featuring the gorilla across the Atlantic. Thousands of postcards with his image were sent to the USA and articles concerning Alfred were reproduced in American newspapers and he retained his celebrity status throughout the war. Wow. So he's world famous.

He thankfully survived the war, but sadly, All good things must come to an end. And Alfred died after contracting tuberculosis. I didn't see that coming, did you? On the 10th of March, 1948, he was at the time the longest living gorilla in captivity anywhere in the world, being they thought, about 20 years old.

Wow. His death also led to better care of apes in captivity when it was realised guerrillas were susceptible to human diseases like tuberculosis. A user with the first name Deborah commented this. Our research knows no bounds. We will dive into the comments section. I will refer to Deborah. I thought when he was referring to Wikipedia before,

that would be the shittest research he's done. I just love Deborah's trip down memory lane. Okay. When she commented this on a, it is memory lame, to be honest. When she commented this on a BBC article about Alfred, which was published in 2010. Okay, so it was a BBC article, which is a pretty, that's a good resource.

But let's hear from Deb. Honestly, some of the previous stuff did come from that article, but Deborah, you know, I've got to include this. You'll agree with me. Okay. With this long paragraph from Deborah. One of my earliest childhood memories, I was three years, five months.

Yeah, these fucking rules. Yes. Sitting at the top of the stairs. of our home with my sister in Bristol. How old was your sister? I can only assume two years, two months. My father came through the front door,

bright April sunshine. And called through to my mother in the kitchen. I'm not coming home for lunch. I'm going to the zoo. Alfred's died. My mother's laughter from the kitchen. Bitch. My sister and I,

chuckling. Why did we find it funny? Not sure. My father was Joseph Yoffie. Professor of Anatomy at Bristol. The anatomy department had first claim on his body, I think, and hoped to dissect him. Not sure what happened next except the discovery had TB. Every time I see Alfred's face, I remember our home ringing with laughter. and the April Sunshine this is the perfect setting for you to have just done that beautiful dramatic reading it felt so good

that was very nice I felt like I was holding Jorick's skull right here it felt good Deb's a psycho three years five months no way that was beautifully written April sunshine

oh boy beautiful tonight? Imagine. Imagine. So Alfred's body was... Not sure. Not sure.

Not sure. Why do we find it so funny? Not sure. That's why that's everyone's conversation in the car tonight on the way home. So Alfred's body was preserved and mounted for the museum by the famous taxidermist

Roland Ward of London. Alfred... A big fan. Big taxidermy fan. Alfie was displayed in a pose representing him on all fours and... Okay, this isn't last night's report, okay? Yeah. So that classic cross-legged arms down sort of pose.

Like, what? We got a good bit of floor here for you to... Dave, use the space. That's not all fours. Oh, maybe he's like this. You've got options, whatever you want it to be. And he was displayed at the... Bristol City Museum

occupying a coveted spot near the museum cafe. Very exciting. At first there was only a few bits of information displayed with his body

but his popularity continued many remembering him from his life at the zoo and soon he became one of the most visited and celebrated exhibits. Alfred continued to hit the headlines even after his death.

Wow, that's the dream. I hope they find my letters. I've said too much. In March 1956, the museum curator arrived at work to find Alfred had mysteriously disappeared

from his case. That's right. Alfred had been kidnapped. Whoa. Ape-napped? He'd been ape-napped. That was really good. Thanks, man. Thank you.

Yeah. Hey, you can have that one. Yeah, with your permission, we'll edit you out and I'll say that. Yeah, yeah, let's get you saying it. clean and then a good reaction. That's right. Alfred had been ape-naves. We'll edit out that little silence as well.

It was theorised that someone had used a connecting door between Bristol Museum and Art Gallery and the University of Bristol's Will's building to break into the museum. But who would do such a heinous thing? And why? Deb. Deborah.

Yep. And yeah, she was laughing maniacally the whole lot. Probably five years old at the time. That feels right. The police began an investigation into the shocking disappearance of the Bristol icon. 60 hours after his heartless abduction. They left his heart.

Apeduction. Thank you so much. 60 hours after his heartless apeduction. Alfred turned up in a doctor's surgery. across the road from where he was taken. He wasn't dead? Wow. And he knew to go to a doctor.

He is. Jesus, guy. He's full of life. Yeah. I have written here. Alfred was a little shaken but made a full recovery. And we soon returned to his case at the Bristol Museum. Where he is still on display on the first floor where apparently you'll get a great

view of Britain's first plane the Bristol box kite from the balcony pretty exciting has anyone seen him cool can you confirm which position he's in yeah what's he doing the second one thank you the one you know the one of the two

that was anything like the description but what had happened to Alfred in those mysterious 60 hours would the culprits be found and face justice Well, it was almost a mystery episode As it remained a mystery for over five decades Until it was finally solved in 2010

Whoa Oh, and Deborah wrote it no That's another paragraph There's another comment In 2010, The Guardian revealed the culprits After 54 years Wow I thought, I think that was going to be a longer wow

Honestly, it didn't deserve anything But I saw you getting your drink bottle And so I was like, I'll give him something, but it can't be much. Wow. Thank you. Just time your sips better. The Guardian revealed the culprits after 54 years. What's wrong with you, Dave?

What's this? Wow. An applause for yours. Yeah. The bar is lower for women. We do anything. People are like, bloody, look at her guy.

She left the house. She used the handle. So the Guardian revealed the culprits after 54 long years, but only after one of the kidnappers, Ron Morgan, a Bristol real estate agent, had died. The article writes, Fred Hooper, who was also involved for the theft, together with a third person,

known only as DS. Deborah. Oh my God. It's 100% Deborah. It's Deborah. Today, he lifted the lid on the mystery after Morgan's death, age 79. So they waited until Morgan had passed, and they were like, we're going to come clean. When Morgan died, Deborah's house was full of laughter.

Why? Not sure. Deb's, she's sick. This is again from 2010. Hooper 77, who now lives in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire said, it was initially my idea. I was about 23 at the time and thought it would be a great jape. Ape.

Ape. My God. This guy is a criminal genius. We took Alfred because he was such a big Bristol personality and he was close by. Okay. It took a bit of planning. We knew the porter and so we were able to get a key cut to the door

that linked the museum to the university. Then we hid in the bell free of the bell tower until 1 a.m. when everything was closed. It wasn't such a good idea in hindsight as the bells were still ringing and incredibly loud. We got into the museum and then we used the side door to get him out. It was very early in the morning and we stuffed him into the boot of an old voxel car and sped off to my bed sit. That's where he stayed for the duration and we took pictures of him in different guises. They fit a gorilla in the boot? Yeah, that's crazy.

Wow. They made cars different back then. What a great ad for Vauxhall. Yeah. Yeah. Need a bigger boot? Call Vauxhall. So the friends kept Alfred hostage for 60 hours in their flat in Clifton.

Near the bridge? Hooper added, there are all sorts of stories going around. People thought Cardiff students had kidnapped him. Yeah, blame Cardiff. And there was a rumour he. was in a cave somewhere, but we never told anyone we had him. There was a rumor. He was in a cave somewhere.

Hey, do you know where the gorilla is? In a cave. Probably in a cave. So they thought he's escaped. Yeah. And gone to find a cave. Yeah. Sure.

It was always our intention to return him. And so the easiest thing was to take him to a doctor's waiting room, which was just across the road. It was midday on a Saturday, and we just carried him. over and left him there. And no one saw anything or said anything. I love the city. None of you are grasses. Morgan saw his friends and family to secrecy because he feared he could be prosecuted. But he kept a scrapbook with dozens of pictures of the stolen gorilla, as well as local newspaper cuttings from the time. Tim Corum, the deputy head of Bristol's museums,

told The Guardian in 2010 that they would not be pursuing the surviving pranksters. But I think they should should life sentences for a lot of them. It's a disgrace what they did. You loved when he was put in a little jacket. I think you'd love this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Apparently, the kidnapping had all been done as a part of Rag Week at Bristol University. Are you guys familiar with Ragweek here? Am I saying that right, Rag? We don't like Ragweek. There was a lot of like, yeah. And then I say you don't like it. someone went, oh.

I don't get you. We don't talk about it. Okay, Roger that. Well, I'll be really quiet over here. Ragweek stands for raising and giving and the uni has been doing it for over 90 years. Oh, they don't like raising and giving. Oh, charity.

I assumed it was going to be like weird sort of induction things to like secret societies and weird stuff where they like spank things and stuff. but I'm like, yeah, okay, fair enough. Yeah, we don't talk about it, yeah. It's a charity fundraiser? We don't talk about that. I found an article on Bristol Uni student newspaper called Epigram,

titled 10 Weird and Wonderful Things University of Bristol students have done to raise money for Rag Week. I thought I could go through a few of them now. Okay. Do we have any University of Bristol alumni or current students in tonight? Is you? A couple over there. I reckon there's more. you're just cowards

well let me tell you these guys are wild okay oh my god what are they done they are wild Dave tell me about it oh my god

Dave I'm scared that you're in tonight because here we go in 1960 a young female Bristol students sat on the end of a makeshift ducking stool

over the moat in front of the city council house on the other end of the plank were large stones which were purchased by onlookers one by one. As the weight of the stones decreased, the girl began to outweigh them

until eventually she was tipped into the water. Can you believe that? And the last stones would have come after her. That's actually, that's fucked. She deserved everything she got. I mean, money was. Not stones to the face. That was a really good recovery.

Good save. In 1969. Nice. Thank you. Little pause there. More than 100 pairs of pyjama bottoms disappeared from male students in Churchill Hall. Just the bottoms.

The Raiders were 16 female students from Manor Hall. It was so skillfully done that no one even knew the Raider disappeared until the men of Churchill Hall got ready for bed. They're all wandering around the halls, just tops on. What's going on in flipping and flipping and flipping around? Oh, you too! You too!

That's not a good look, is it? No. The adult man. The winnie-poo? Yeah, not a great look. Not a great look. One of the thieves explained, students make the public cough up a lot of cash for rag week.

We thought we would make some of the students pay their share. The male students got their trousers back the next day. At a price, of course. You are crazy. Here's another one. A man is shot in the street and falls to the pavement. Blood is everywhere. He hasn't been shot.

And it's actually just a rag week stunt organised by medical students. That's gone too far. That's gone too far that has. Do you think it's... Don't trick them. If you're going to pretend to shoot them. Shoot them.

So they haven't actually been shot. It is real blood though. The students took a bag of real blood from a friend which would pop as the victim was shot. They took a bag of blood from a friend. Hey Steve. Can we borrow some of your blood?

Well, can we take some of your blood? Was Steve a vampire? What's going on there? Why does Steve have a bag of his own blood? It's so weird. Well, they're medical students, so they're probably just like, we can take it.

Oh, right, yeah. Sorry, I didn't realize they were medical students. They can do whatever the fuck they like. Medical students Student Paul G was fined as a result and said I will pay my fine

if my loan comes through in April All right Second last one Which is number seven on the list The jail break Can I just double So how did

Pretending to be shot In the street Raise money for charity I also don't know How kidnapping A dead gorilla Raise money for charity Oh that was a rag

That's a rag Right Yeah Huh I don't know If you've fully Got your heads Around the thing

Like you do a lap-a-thon where you... Every lap-thon. Something like that. Is that not what you call it? I reckon it is, but we're in a different country. You have laps here, don't you? What do you call a circuit around an oval or something? Cirque around an oval.

A very literal people, the English. Yeah, we'll shorten anything we can. circle around an oval athon. Nah, let's just call it a lapathon. That'll be universally understood. I can't live that I don't have lapathons here. And the more I say, it does sound pretty stupid. Yeah, no, yeah, kill a man in the street.

Athon. That makes sense. Makes sense. For every person we pretend to kill on the street, I promise to donate 10p. All right, there's one. All right, the second last one, number seven on the list, the jail break. For many years, a popular method of fundraising for RAG was the jail break. Thankfully, the event was not much like its name suggests,

but rather would involve a group of students attempting to get as far away from Bristol as possible with absolutely no money. Again, I don't know how that raises any. Finally, this one does. In 1981, a student named Stephen Joyce raised money by eating half a pound of line. Worms. That's your city. So you can still go and see Alfred at Bristol Museum.

However, you can't visit the Bristol Zoo as sadly it closed in 2022 after 186 years at the same site. What the hell? And the animals were moved to an animal park at a much larger site in South Gloucestershire. But I did want to finish by talking about a world famous story from the Bristol Zoo. You might have come across it before. it's one of those stories that my dad would send around in an email chain being like,

can you believe this? The story is that for two decades, a man collected money from visitors parking outside. Is he your mayor or something? He collected money from visitors parking outside Bristol Zoo. One day he didn't turn up for work, and it turned out that the Bristol City Council thought he was collecting for the zoo,

and the zoo thought he was collecting for the council. Meanwhile, he'd collected the money for himself and disappeared with a fortune to retire to a tropical island paradise somewhere. He understands how to raise money. Get him for Ray. He gets it. So the zoo had always denied that there was any truth to the rum. They're like, it's just made up, it's just an email chain, no truth to it. But in 2021, as the zoo was closing down, a local committee known as the Downs for people who tried to stop a large field called a Downs or a Downs next to the zoo being used as an...

an overflow car park looked closer at the story than anyone had ever bothered to before. They went through all the minutes of the local council meetings where this big field for parking had been discussed. A lady named Susan Carter told the Bristol Post, it was found that for almost 30 years from 1958 until the mid-1980s, and quite likely for 30 years before that, people were able to make their living as parking attendants, collecting voluntary donations from motorists parking on rough ground outside the zoo.

And whilst it's unlikely that anyone made an incredibly large fortune enough to retire to an island, people were collecting voluntary tips for what essentially is completely free parking. One person even issued their own tickets that had the words unpaid attendant written on them.

So there is some truth to it. I would have just left it at the first bit. Well, you basically said this great fun story And they were like, it's not really true But I can't have a dull watered down version is So I'll finish with that, good night Well, thankfully I do have a little bit more here

Because you knew Matt would be a dick about it Yeah, I knew that this prick over here What's the next thing going to be? It was really just a man in a suit gorilla Yeah In a suit gorilla Man in a suit. Man in a suit.

Brackets, guerrilla. Like, I mean, I don't know how much clearer you have to make things. I just heard the end of someone saying something that ended with, ow. Might have been slough. Might not have been. In 2011, to celebrate the 170. fifth birthday of Bristol Zoo, a project called Wow! Gorillas!

Two exclamation marks there. Yes. Was organised in which 61 decorated life-sized fibre-glass gorillas sculptures were displayed on the streets of Bristol. Does anyone remember seeing these? One clap. Love that. Many saw this as a tribute to Alfred himself. The sculptures were designed to raise awareness

about the extinction crisis facing primates in the wild, and after their display was sold at auction in Bristol, raising over 400,000 pounds with the proceeds going to charity. It feels like everyone except for rag and your city knows how to raise money. The wow gorillas page hasn't been active since 2014

on Facebook when they did a post asking if people knew where the guerrillas are now. And so uncommented, possibly Deborah. This is the only comment they got. I thought I saw the Elvis one this morning on the roof of dent magic at Aven Heads. And that's the end of my report.

I want to see this Elvis gorilla. Yeah. Don't we know where it is? Anyone be to Dent Magic? He's still there. He's still there. All right, we're checking that out tomorrow. Yeah, thank you.

We're going to be late for our London show. We could go see the real gorilla in the museum. We're like, we'll just go to Dent Magic. Yeah, that would be fine. Well done, Dave. What a story. What a wild story. What a wild town, Bristol is.

Yeah. We've learned so much about you tonight. Yeah, what are you like? I've got a little bit closer to my friends here. They really backed you up there. I think it's the one way friendship doesn't it. This is very one-sided. Cliff supports me.

It does bring us to the end of that show. Yeah, that does bring us the end of the show. So thanks for coming out. Before we go, we will be out at the bar selling some merch. Or if you just want to say hi, if you just want to say hi on your way out, or like we say every show we do, you can just leave without making any eye contact. Very happy for you to do that. Yeah, that's fine.

We do have some signposted. some sticker packs with three stickers and some do go on magnets if you'd like to. I think everything is five pounds. Apart from that, anything else? I love you. I love you too.

Bit desperate, mate. Me or that guy? Never that guy. That guy rules. I heard someone say Jesus. To be fair, this is show eight, and you've elicited a Jesus. And every one of those eight shows. That's eight from eight.

Eight from eight. One time you got a, Matthew. That was good. Anyway, yes, Dave, boot this baby home. Great. So that's the end of the end. That's the end of it. So we'd like to say, thank you so much for coming out and support X in Bristol.

Every time we come to Bristol, we always have a great crowd. So give yourselves a round of applause. Thanks for coming out. Thank you to the tobacco factory for having us. We had time on sound. Thank you so much. Until next time we'll say thank you so much and goodbye. And we're back in the room.

Wow. I can finally breathe in. Oh my goodness. The cheering, the whooping, the sheer, dare I say, adoration of that crowd towards us. You probably couldn't hear it on the recording, but the bouquets of flowers just started piling up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like hard to see the audience. I looked out into the audience at one point and where their eyes should be were just big love hearts.

It was incredible. It was amazing. You just turned into an emoji. Oh my goodness gracious. Somebody's, I could see their heart for thumping out of their chest. Yeah. Like a cartoon. An ambulance was called.

Yes. That was and we, you know, we wish him a speedy recovery. Yes. No, honestly, the Bristol audience, my God, red hot. So fun. So fun. Yeah, that was a really, really great venue. Great report, Dave.

Thank you. A bit of fun. Bit of fun. A local story. I wanted a Bristol thing. Yeah. A bit of fun. What did you and Matt think before the pod, you confessed to me that you guys had had a guess as to what I was going to report on?

Do you remember? I cannot remember. We reckon we know what you're going to talk about tonight. I've no idea. You don't remember? No. It was, and I had considered it, Banksy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was apparently from Bristol. Right. Well. Apparently. Yeah. Whatever Banksy wants us to believe. Exactly. Yeah, that's right.

That was mostly Matt, to be honest. I appreciate that he brought me in on that, but I don't care or think about you at all. That is... That was abundantly clear on the whole tour. And Matt has not made it back this week, I'm afraid. No. He's been a bit under the weather. And that's okay.

Hey, we all need a bit of time from time to time. Yeah. But not all the time, Matt, don't take the piss. Don't take the piss, okay? If you want out... Just say so. Don't, just, you know, just not turning up to work week after week. You don't have to pretend that you have a bad cold.

Not on, mate. Not on. And if you're, you know, if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, but I just saw Matt at such and such, we recorded this ages ago. Okay. We recorded this ages ago. All right. We're in the past for you.

We're probably still on summer holidays right now. Okay. Oh my gosh. I'm at the beach. Sorry, I keep pulling the curtain back, but I think the people deserve to know that we are actually human beings and we should be treated accordingly but like you know royals so technically we think we think nobody's seen their bits yeah um oh feeling weird so what we are here to do now is just take take a bit of time have a swim around the pool of everyone's favorite section of

the show which is where we get to spend some time thanking all the wonderful people who support us over at patreon.com slash do go on pod that's right A little pause there. I'm very good at my job and I pay attention to things. So the first thing we like to do, well, Dave, explain what some of the benefits are of joining Patreon. Fantastic. There's a multiple different levels. You can even sign on for free these days.

Yeah. You might get a couple of shout-out newslettery type things. But from $2 or above, you get a range of benefits. That's right. Including voting on topics, so deciding what we talk about. This was voted for. I gave out four Bristol-based topics. This is the winner.

And how could they go past the kidnapping of Alfred the Carillon? Yeah, huge. Then we also put out four bonus episodes a month at a certain tier. You get to be part of the Facebook group, hear about live shows before everyone else get discount tickets. So sometimes they pay for themselves as membership. Incredible. I just had to keep talking there while Jess wasn't miming. I need to sneeze.

I need to sneeze. It went away for a second. Yeah, yeah. I thought I'd defeated it. And I had not. And I apologize. You've been rough undone. Yes.

And of course you get to know and live with the sense of satisfaction knowing that we only get to do the show because you support us on Patreon. That's right. Yeah. You think we would have kept this up? We're in our 10th year. Yeah. You think we would have kept this up this long? No.

No. Now. I'm afraid, yeah, we need to pay for the studio and such. We have to pay for the studio. We have to, you know, Dave's got a fucking mouth to feed now. Yeah. My own. His own.

And if his baby's so lucky, they get some too. the scraps. And I've got a dog, okay? And he has hip issues. He probably does get the scraps. Oh, yeah, yeah. He gets whatever he wants. He is the light of my life.

Anyway. So yeah, you're supporting us if you will support the show, and we appreciate that very much. That's not a pressure thing at all. Just by listening and telling people about the show, that helps us immensely as well. That's an awesome way to spread the word. We appreciate that. But if you support us on the Sydney Shine

Deluxe package. Memorial package. I'm really very good at my job. You get to participate in everyone's favorite section of the favorite section of the show. And I think it has a little jingle and I think it goes something like this. Fact quote or question. He always remembers the dig. I always remember the sing.

I'm saying Matt makes this bit look easy. I know. It's crazy because most things he does, he makes easy things look really difficult. It's true. But this, he actually, he just breathes us through it. Yeah. Oh, I miss him. I hope he gets over that cold.

So in this section, people get to let to, people get to give themselves a title. They get to give us a fact, a quote, a question, a suggestion, a recipe, a brag, a, anything else. Anything else. Suggest, so I already said suggestion. A joke? We've had jokes. A joke. It can be anything you like.

A rap. We'd love to do a rap. We'd love to do a rap. You said we'd love to do a rap? Yeah. Well, you write in the wrap and then Matt will have to do it. I'd like to see that. That would be pretty good, actually.

So, yeah, it's up to you. It's just your time to chat to us. So, first one, this week comes from Nathan Damon. Nathan's giving himself the title. Group, Dad, Dave, it's your turn to do the dishes. Oh, no, Nathan. I mean, Dad. No, have some respect.

Oh, sorry I called you Nathan, Dad. And Dad has given us a fact. And that is, hey, guys, I thought I might go with another road train fact. Oh, I love these. Our biggest road trains here, it's in Australia, the ones with the 98 wheels, so annoying, carry a payload of 335 ton, which is the equivalent of 145,652 blocks of government cheese. Finally, a scale that I can get my head around. That is a fun.

What's a ton? Oh, wow, that's several ton. I have always said ton, but some people say ton. Have you heard that? Do you notice that? I think there are two words. Really? Really? What do you mean? What's the difference between a ton and a ton? No way.

A ton is an imperial unit of mass while a ton is a metric unit of mass. So, okay. So it's just metric or imperial. So the term ton is used in American English in the United States, the term short ton is used to distinguish the American ton from the imperial ton or ton. How are they spelled? A ton is T-O-N And T-O-N I think I've gone the best way here Best way T-O-O-N-E

T-O-N-E Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yes, Nathan's written that as T-O-N-E, so T-O-N-E, so tons. Okay, that's great. So this thing is telling me that they sound the same and both, they sound the same, but is it the exact same? Anyway, I've always just said ton, so thank you. That is a fun fact.

From nose to tail, they measure about 78 meters long. There's still facts about road trains. Dave's still Googling tons. Yeah, I just want to say the right one. So it sounds like in Australia we would say tons, though. Yeah, usually. I'm not changing. It's been 34 years.

I can't change to tons now. Oh, God, I sound like a boomer who can't get the head around they-them pronouns. Oh, but it's plural. Just fucking say they-them grandma. Okay, I'll say ton if that's correct. Let me just say this. Ton. Ton.

They're the same. That's the same thing. That's from dictionary.combridge.org. Okay, back to the road trains. We've got derailed. Sorry, this is way more interesting than I'm sure. So from nose to tell, they measure about 78 metres long. 78 meters?

Yes. What the hell? That's really long. That's longer than Barry Breen's wobbly punt that one. Sir Kilda, they're one and only VFL, AFL-AFL, a NFL premiership back in 1966. I'm so glad he's not here for this.

I know, otherwise Matt would be reminiscing. Wishing you all Merry Christmas and looking forward to your one day returning to Perth. Well, Nathan, this is, we're okay, pulling back the curtain again, we're recording this part before Christmas and we say thank you so much,

wishing you are Merry Christmas. But this is going to come out after Christmas. So we all sound like fools. Dave is still Googling times. I've lost you completely. I can see that your face has glazed. Not just your eyes, your entire face is glazed. This is how saying that both words are sound exactly the same.

Okay, so it could just be that people pronounce it slightly differently. Okay, there you go. But there are two different measurements, which is why. And I'm not wrong by saying ton. So that's all I really care about. Ding, ding, ding. And thank you, Nathan. 78 metres is unbelievable.

That's insane. I'd love to go to work for a day with Nathan. That's the kind of a work experience you want to do. Absolutely. And not the fucking op shop I went and did work experience. experience in. Boring. Thank you, Nathan. Our next fake quote of question comes from Lauren Joyner. Lauren has given themselves a title quite possibly the messiest person alive. I don't know. Have you seen Dave's handwriting? Hey, it's pretty bad. It's pretty bad, but your house immaculate. So,

exactly. I can't give you that. Lauren's given us a question this week says, what is your favorite cryptid? I'd also love to hear about some local law or ghost stories. My eight-year-old daughter just checked out a book from the library called Atlas of Monsters and Ghosts. Yes, she is very cool. She gets it from me. And she was flipping through the Australian section. She was especially taken by the ghost of the opera in Melbourne and the Yowie. I love a Yowie.

Oh, yeah. As we always say, answer your own question. If you want to. Please, Lauren has done that. Yes, thank you. To answer my own question, you're welcome. My favorite cryptid is Mothman. I don't have a good reason for it other than I like his vibes.

I do find it interesting that he's linked to a few tragic. events, just showing how humans will try to find comfort in anything. Also, his statue is amazing with those buns of steel. I must also give a shout out to Nessie because she's a classic and you just can't go wrong with a dinosaur-like creature in a lake. Great call. Yeah, I totally agree. In Arizona, where I reside, we have the Mogulon monster. Mogulon? Very smelly, bigfoot-esque monster. That's so good. Imagine being the cryptic and being like, oh, you think I stink. I understand I'm big, but stinky. I'm smelly.

A very smelly. A bigfoot-esque monster who resides in the Mogulon Rim, so well, so well named. A lot of Arizona cryptids come from indigenous culture and folklore like thunderbirds and skinwalkers of Navajo legend. I recently went on a full moon tour around Sedona and our guide told us about all the various sightings of cryptids, ghosts, aliens and more. All very X-Files and pure delight, though very cold. For those listening, if you're visiting the Grand Canyon, take a detour to Sedona. Taking a detour to Sedona is well worth it. It's weird and beautiful and full of scenery, unlike anything else.

Sounds amazing. Sounds very cool. So, fantastic. Not only have you answered the question, you've given some context there about your 8-year-old reading this book. You've answered, you've given tourist advice, you rule, Lauren. Yeah, that's great. Favorite cryptid. You did mention a yowie.

Yowie's a fun. Yeah, so that's a... But I'm mostly thinking of the chocolate yowie. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm sure they would know this in America that we have a, and it's come back recently. It was the thing when we were kids and I think it went away and that's come back. It's kind of like if you have a kind of surprise.

Yep. Which is like, you know, it's a chocolate coated little plastic capsule and inside that there's a toy that you build or whatever. And we had YOWIs based on the Australian crypted. Yeah. The Yowie. And they came in different colors. And I'm pretty sure, was there a TV show or at least the ad they went, Yowie power.

Yeah. And I think they were. different like little characters, each of the different colors of yowies, which is just the foil packaging. Yeah, yeah. Well, like a different character, I think. But I don't know if I have a favorite cryptid. Do you have a favorite cryptid? Well, it's another one we've talked about on the show before. And it's one that's Matt introduces us to, and I love him. And it's the the lizard man of scape or swamp. Yeah. You have to remember likes butterbeams. Yes. That might be one that I have to go back and relisten to it. I remember having a lot of fun. And I

don't remember much of the details of that one at all. Sorry, I'm just getting emotional with you about it. I think another good one to cover would be there's in Victoria, and I think also in New South Wales, legends of like black panthers. Of course. Being out in the, you know, in the bush. Kirsty Wubeck and Cal Wilson really got very invested in the, in the Antway Panther. That's the one. Yep. Yep. Yep. The sightings of a panther in the otways. And some people swear that they've seen, like a giant panther. Yeah. Living, just in the Australian bush. Yeah.

So I think that could be worth it. Yeah, that's fun. Get Kirstie back on. Yes, we'd love to get KSty back on. Thank you so much, Lauren. Yeah, I love that. But yeah, there's so many great cryptids. We could, we're due for a good cryptid episode, I think.

Yeah, I feel like it's been a little while. We should do another one. I guess you, has that one come out that you did on tour? Did you, would you say it's a tour, it was a cryptid? Oh, yes, that actually that hasn't come out yet. Okay, never mind. That's right. We recorded one in Manchester that is sort of crypted at least adjacent.

Yes, yeah, yeah. Definitely in that world of things. So just keep your ears peeled for that. Next up, we have Jordan. Jordan's title is, Advocate for Mental Health, just not my own. And Jordan, oh man.

You've got to look after yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup. You're after my own heart. I'm the same. I'm like, you've got to have boundaries. You've got to look after yourself. Can't give from an empty cup, yada, yada, yada. Me?

Push, push, push. Push, push. Okay. And Jordan has given us, this is the first, hobby sharing. Oh, that's fun. Love this. Okay. So I have some hobbies that are a weird dichotomy thought I'd share.

So I love motorcycles and riding. I'm the guy in the motorcycle club that rode a thousand miles in 24 hours. That's crazy. But I also crochet. I collect knives and swords and I nude model for life drawing. And I do life drawing. Do any of you all have any hobbies that look weird next? to each other. P.S. don't worry about the title. I couldn't think of anything else. Just saying,

I'm fine. I'm okay. This is an amazing collection of hobbies. Can we hear the list again? Absolutely. I would love to. Riding motorbikes. Yes. Crochet. Collecting knives and swords. Love that one. Nude model for life drawing and also doing the life drawing. So just like the, it's not just that, it's like a weird collection of hobbies. Because of my image of you changed every single one. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, true. Suddenly you were nude. Yeah.

Suddenly I was nude. You were drawing me. And you were still nude. Okay. However, you need to do your art. I think, and I've said this for a couple of years now, but I don't have many hobbies. I don't really think I have any hobbies, and that's something I wanted to get back into a bit more. I suppose, like, photography in a very gentle way is a bit of a hobby of mine.

That's right, yeah. I bought myself like a good camera a little while ago and tried to get a bit more into photography. but it's just, yeah, it didn't capture me as much. I have like a little, I have a flashback camera now, which is like a disposable camera, but it's digital, it's not disposable. It's reusable. And it's really fun.

It sounds, I think, a little bit wild out of context like that. When you describe it, people go, what? What is it? But when you experience the thing, it's awesome. It's really fun, yeah, yeah. So you take the 24 or whatever photos per quote unquote roll, and then at the end it downloads to your phone. Yep.

I think it's really fun. And they look old school and nostalgic. And they were very fun. I had a lot of fun taking photos on tour. Yeah, some of the best photos we have from the whole trip are from that. It looks awesome. Yeah. So I guess so.

And like video games in a way go through phases with that. But it's, yeah, I want to take up more hobbies. But I don't think any of them seem strange next to each other, you know? I collect magnets. And I take photos. That's not, you know. Those are things that I think kind of match. Yeah, they're in a similar realm.

Yeah. What would you say your hobbies are, Dave? For a while, I've been talking about trying to get back into tennis, and that was my request for a Christmas present, was a new tennis racket. Love that. And I have a suspicion that I will have got it by now. I think that I'm getting it. I hope so.

There was a tennis-shaped, oh, tennis racket-shaped package arrived. Here's the thing. Because, yeah, of course, like, if your wife's buying that, it's got to arrive to your house. My husband still gets all of my presents delivered to my parents. parents' house and then he'll just make an excuse to leave the house for a bit, drives over to my parents to pick him. I'm like, just get them delivered here. It's a box. I don't know what's in it. Is it always a full surprise? No, this time I literally said, hey, I'd like these shoes. They're on sale right now. You can pick the color. So there's

an element of surprise, but I know I'm getting shoes or I got shoes. Do you think they're still going to your mom and dad's place? Probably. That's so pretty time. Yeah, so tennis is something I'd like to just do very, very casually. I'm not going pro, basically. I don't think I can win win more than. I've accepted that now. It's fun to have like a 34. A sport or a game or something active as a hobby. And then I've also, at the end of last year, started playing music again for the first time in 10 years playing in my friend Tom's band, long legs. So yeah, a bit of music, a bit of tennis, but I don't know if that's a weird combo. It's just a combo that I had when I was 14 and now 20 years later, I'm like, I really enjoyed those. I'm going to do them again.

Yeah, I think it's hard to start a new hobby completely from scratch. Yes. I have done a couple of paint by numbers and that's always very fine because I never I'm not a good drawer or like I can't paint or anything yeah but I do find it quite relaxing to just sit there and just sort of paint for a little bit that's always kind of nice but yeah I would love to love to pick up a few new hobbies because same I sort of go I haven't played basketball for a couple of years maybe I'll play that again but it's like I've done that since I was seven why not try a new sport yes try something a bit different love all those hobbies Jordan yeah good on you that's awesome you sound like having a really nice time.

Yeah, it seems like you're like living your life and that's great. Thank you, Jordan, and thank you for reminding me if I can get a new hobby. And finally, for our fact, quote and question this week, Broderick Henry with title, Dogg. Well, you come to the right place. We love them. Find out. And Broderick, okay, a dog, has a question.

And the question is, bark, bark, bark. Hello, two wonderful looking people And one extremely Cream My Jeans person Well, there's only two of us here So we're both just wonderful looking Okay I have maybe a very specific question

But here it goes At this point in your life What is something you haven't done That most people think you have Only because you love the reactions you get Okay, I might need that one more time At this point in your life What is something you haven't done

That most people think you have only because you love the reactions you get. It does go on, so let's... Okay, sorry, so I thought that was it, so I apologize. Me? So I'm into a lot of fandoms, video games, comics, movies, TV, anime, D&D, The Works. When a friend has a question about a fandom, I'm the one they go to because I'm most likely will have the answer and then some about it. But there are two sets of trilogies I haven't seen, the Lord of the Rings movies and the first six Star Wars movies. At this point, as a 29-year-old man, I don't only because I don't, only because when I tell people I have,

their reaction to it warms my heart. And it's even better because I'm not even lying. It's even better when I tell people that I've seen Star Wars episode 7 to 9 and The Hobbit movies, which are mostly not well received, and that gets them even more upset and confused. Maybe in 30 years I'll finally get around to watching them. But right now, this is getting me through my life. If you're not able to answer that, here's a second question.

What'd you have for dinner yesterday? Oh, I can probably think of that. I had a pesto pasta with broccoli. And... We had a homemade pizza. Oh, yum. Also a pesto. Love a pizza.

Love pesto. Hmm. Yeah. So it's kind of the question is what's something that... You haven't done or you haven't seen or like you... That people are surprised maybe that you haven't down or haven't... Yeah. Like I was surprised you haven't been to Tasmania.

Yes. I've been to every capital city we have in this country except Hobart. Yeah. I was like, wow. But you've also travelled overseas extensively. So it is always a surprising one. It's like, that's a 45-minute flight and you haven't been. I'd love to.

There's nothing against it. Or New Zealand. You haven't been to New Zealand, right? That's right. No, again, I'd love to. You've gone very far, but not close. Yes, I hate islands. Yes.

We're on one. Yeah, I know, except for Japan, Cuba, the Bahamas, Iceland. And again, the island we live on. Yeah, and Australia. Yeah, Coe means island. But okay. But I'd love Yeah, I'd love to go to this thing

I'm similar in a sense People, I guess I'm not as into fandom Some of it's probably the lesser degree I've never seen the Lord of the Rings movies And that people do get very surprised by that Because you look like a nerd I think or just because it was a cultural touchstone That everyone's seen, have you seen?

I have Yeah But only because my friend Liv in high school was obsessed So, and she had You know how like there's one friend in every group That had the house that everybody went to? Liv's house was the house So she often got saying what we watched

So I've seen Law the Rings Yeah, that's a good one I don't know I can't think of examples for me A thing that you say You haven't seen and people are like What the hell? I can't believe Back to the Future was one for you recently

I had seen it But I hadn't watched it Probably for 30 years or something So I was re-watching You know people are always surprised That I'm not a pro surfer Yeah because it's so bodacious Yeah, my hair's always sort of beach waves

That I'm not a black belt They're like, what? And I'm like, yeah, red, but not black Yeah, people say, how much do you powerlift? And I say, I've actually never powerlifted. Yeah, what? That's unbelievable. That's crazy. They actually can't believe that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm so, yeah, I don't know if I do have an answer for that one. I'm glad I thought of one for Dave. But I did not think of one for me, but I did have Pesto pasta for dinner. So I answered your question, dog. Nice dog. Thank you, Broderick.

Thank you, Broderick, Jordan, and Nathan. Now, Dave, next thing we need to do. Take it away. Not need to, but it's our privilege. Get to. Get to. Shout out the people that have been supporting the show on Patreon. If you're on for a few months these days, I think that's about the wait.

Maybe up to six months. We will shout you out live on an episode, which we're going to do now to nine lucky souls. You lucky things. lucky things. And we usually come up with a bit of a game connected to the episode in some way. Yeah. So I remember Jess, because this was a few weeks ago that we recorded this in Bristol. It was about a body of a gorilla that had been stuffed, Alfred, and then kidnapped. So I'm thinking what animal did they kidnap? Okay. And what was that animal's name?

Yes. Good one. So format Alfred the gorilla, name an animal. Perfect. How about that? I love it. Do you want to take turns? I'd love to. Do I'm going to kick it off? Please. I would like to thank, first of all, from Mount Waverly. Where I grew up.

Whoa. Oh my goodness. Huge. Maybe you know this person. From Victoria and Mount Waverly, like we said, it is Sophie Byrne. Sophie Byrne. Is that ringing any bells? No.

Okay. I'm sorry, Sophie, if we did go to school together. What school did you go to? Or have you moved to Mount Waverly more recently? Wow. We'll never know. But Sophie. You can't answer me.

Has stolen a zebra name. named Gerald. So it's Gerald the zebra. Gerald the zebra. That's the format, Dave. Okay. Okay. Name first.

So Sophie has stolen a zebra called Gerald, comma, Gerald the zebra. You're so annoying. And that's, uh, that's how you do it. Thank you, Sophie. I would like to thank from Bagara in Queensland. I've never heard of Bagara.

Barjara. Barjara. Barjara. Barjara. Barjara. I would love to thank Dimity Comino. What a name. What a combo of names.

What a commono of names. Dimity kidnapped Gregory the parakeet. Gregory the parakeet. Yep. Wow, it's hard to kidnap a bird. You have to sort of lure it over. You know, just grab their legs. Oh.

Pretty easy. Sure, they can flap their wings, but like, I'm holding. Hey, I've got your legs now. I've got your legs. Got your legs. people say that to babies got your nose n'uh, I got your legs. Thank you.

Thank you. From McLeod here in Victoria, near La Trobe University, where I went to university. We're going to try ourselves to all these people. Of course. From McLeod, it's Ashlyn Prendergast. Ooh.

What a name? Ashlyn Prendergast. Who has stolen, they have stolen. They have kidnapped. Oh, kidnapped Jemima, the rhinoceros. Whoa!

Jemima is such a cute name for such a big animal. Yeah, a good combo. That's great. And hard to kidnap. Yeah, you've got to be a pro-kidnapper. You've got to have a truck for that. Yeah. Probably a pretty big one.

Yeah. You know, not just like a little, you know, rental truck you do to move house on a weekend. Possibly a road train. Yeah. Whoa. Thank you. And also from Dallas, Texas, Caitlin Everhart. Are you kidding me?

What's happening with these names? Gorgeous stuff. Caitlin, obviously, and famously kidnapped Henrietta the alligator. Oh, wow. Again, cutesy name for someone I think it was quite sharp teeth. Yes. Love Henrietta the alligator. But alligators, not as big as crocodiles, not as big as our crocs, okay?

Not the salties. The problem is we went and did like a swamp tour in New Orleans and saw alligators, but a year earlier, we were up in Cairns in far north Queensland and saw crocs that are very big Alligators look teeny tiny in comparison You're going to like Great, where are the big ones These are the babies

I was like I jump in for a swim Yeah What are you talking about? Oh no, it's got my little toe Like whatever Not my toe I'm not going to death roll me

I'll death roll it Yeah Showed his boss I'm king of the swamp That's what I get me yelling All right From Washington DC I would like to thank

Alex Alex Alex Alex. Thank you so much, Alex. Who has stolen? Kidnapped. I have to be. Just being pedantic for fun. Philip? Philip. The butterfly. Whoa! That's kind of easy. Put it under your hat. Yeah. But it's a giant butterfly.

Okay. Put under a big hat. Yeah, good one. Just cop that, Philip. You just don't think like a crook, Dave, like I do. No, I'm too straight a 180. You're a good boy. From Washington, D.C. We now go to Seattle, Washington. What? thank Patrick.

Patrick. Patrick, of course, has kidnapped Patrick the C. Do you want to click a little clue there? Patrick the Starfish. Patrick the Starfish. SpongeBob. From SpongeBob Square Pets. He's kidnapped Patrick. Patrick. Patrick Star.

Patrick the Star. Love that. Huge. I would like to thank from location that is unknown to us. can only assume it's deeper in the fortress of the moles and thank you to Ben Dobbs Ben Dobbs who has kidnapped who has kidnapped

Russell the crow that's a good one No it's not Rodner Russell the crow What were you going to say And we'll choose the best one I think I was going to say

Russell the Jack Russell That's pretty good too Go with Jack Russell Russell that's funny Well it could be both Could be both What if he's getting a collection of stolen or kidnapped Russell's.

Yeah. There's a crow. There's Jack Russell. Yep. He's got the whole set. I would like to thank as well from the Blue Mountains in New South Wales. Zach Forbes. Zach Forbes.

Zach Forbes. Kidnapped Felicia the Flamingo. Oh, great name for a flamingo. Nice. Felicia. Felicia the Flamingo. Yeah, a bit of alliteration there. That's really, really nice.

We love it. Right, finally from us this week, I would like to think, from Newport in the greatest of Britons, it's Katrina or Katrin Williams, who has stolen. Name first of all is Christina. The giant tortoise. Whoa, again, you need a truck for that. They are quite big. They are big, but they are slow. Yes.

Oh, you know, easy to get them. Yeah. But they're heavy and big. So, yeah, you need, you need a pro. You can't just put that in the back of your corolla, you know? No, you can't put Christine in the back of your collar. You got to think about that. Yeah.

Yeah. You still parakeet, chuck it in the back of your car. Whatever. Who cares? Giant tortoise, that takes some planning. That takes a lot of planning. Huge. Thank you so much again to Katrina, Zach, Ben, Patrick, Alex, Caitlin, Ashland, Dimmody, and Sophie.

And Dave, final thing we need to do is welcome people into the Triptitch Club. Now, this is for people who support. us at do go onpod.com. Nope, at patreon.com slash do go on pod. That's right. For three consecutive years. They have been here for a long time and we appreciate them and we love them. And there's a few to welcome in this week, Dave.

One, two, two, four, five, six, seven, eight. Oh, my goodness. Eight that we're welcoming in. And so I... These people have all been supporting us for three years. Thank you so much this week. I'm giving you that heads up because for people of joining you. us for the first time. Dave, he's up on stage. He welcomes you in to the trip ditch club,

which is like a cool members-only club. It's got everything you could ever want, live entertainment, coolest people, games, activities, bathrooms. Just mentioning they've got... Yeah, we've got that. Would you have showers as well? Yeah. Do we have tubs? Uh, yeah. I mean, we have Matt Stewart. Of course we have a tub. We probably have a spa section. I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah. We've just opened the day spa. Yeah, it's lovely. Smells you. I mean, I haven't been in, yeah, myself, but I've ever done a orgasm, I've got to go, this smells fantastic. Honestly, I think the part I like the most about, I had a voucher to go get a massage or facial, and so I went and did that earlier this week, as you can tell, I'm glowing.

But I think my favourite part of it is just lying in a quiet, dark room that smells really nice. Like, I don't really care what they're doing. That's going to sound really weird. I don't get what they're doing to my body. Hey, whatever. I'm like, yeah, you do it, do a gentle massage, do a, a, a, a, a fairer, MASSage, I don't care what you're putting it on my face. I'm just having a nice lie down in a smelly, a nice smelling room.

Love it. So yeah, you can, you can do that. I'm behind the bar. So I'm, I've got, I've got gorilla mate. Okay. I didn't know how to dance around it. I had ordered some, some just normal everyday mate. Yep.

And the butcher, he did not come through with that. He did offer. I thought that is in poor taste given the topic, but I have a lot of people to feed. So there are gorilla tacos. I mean, they would make a great taco. It'd make a great taco. I don't feel good about this ethically as a vegetarian. But it's what I have.

But as a chef. As a chef. Hey, you just cook with what you've got. I got to feed people. What's in funny? Okay. Also, everything else I've ever offered in the Tripit's Club is available. Yeah.

If you don't want the gorilla taco. It's quite an extensive menu. Like, I think it's honestly, if you. came in not knowing what the Triptus Club was A, you wouldn't be there because you can't get in. But B, you'd go, poor, it's one of those places that's trying to do too many things. Yeah, that's right. Okay,

you do curry's, fish and chips and soup. Yeah, and you do them all well? Okay. Okay. Also, you do Asian fusion and also pub classics and pizzas. Okay. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. But anyway, so Dave, you also...

And you do gorilla tacos. Hey, I'll book a band. You're never going to believe it this week. I've actually had a band pull out. What? What do we do? Actually, I really wanted the classic English band, Blur, to come along. Yeah. But unfortunately, one of the band members now makes cheese, I believe.

They were together, but they've split up again recently. They're on I-Hadis. They're on I-Hadis. They're on I-Hadis. Yeah, they're on I-Hadis. Singer of the band, Damon All-Ban got in contact and sent them. Look, I'm sorry, Bluer's going to have to pull out. But would you be interested in having my other band Gorillas play?

And I said, obviously, it's not quite as good. I did not know that gorillas and blur shared members. It's the same, same singer. So that's why I said, that's crazy. All right, I'll take you. But obviously, we're going to have to get a discount on this. Absolutely. Such short notice.

Such short notice. You sign a contract when you come to play at the Trip Ridge Club. Absolutely. I've got several lawyers working with me. So please welcome to stage this guerrillas. Whoa. Well. I guess.

I guess they've got some amazing songs. Just put up with it, guys. I guess they put on a famously good life show with many members, whatever. We'll have someone better next week. Am I sorry about this? So what we'll do then? I will play the role of Matt. I've got the clipboard here.

I'll read the names. I'll lift the velvet rope. I'll welcome you in. Everybody will be cheering, whooping. Dave hipes you up with some incredible wordplay. Thank you. Finally is being said properly. And I hype Dave up with love.

Thank you. Because people say, God, Jess, she's a miserable bitch, isn't she? No. Only 10% of the population say that. I'd be okay with that, actually. That's pretty good ratio. That's pretty good. If 90% are like, she seems nice.

Well, I didn't say that. But 10% say miserable bitch. Yeah, I'm actually still okay with it. Anyway, but I love Dave with a passion and I love to hype him up. So here we go. From Carlisle in Illinois in the US, it's Nikita Pruitt. Who knew it with Nikita Pruitt? We knew it.

it and they ain't gonna blow it. Okay, you ruined it? Oh, did I? Yeah. From Brunswick West here in Victoria, it's Jessica Hewitson. Who knew it soon with Jessica Hewitzen? Can I do it with all? Let's find out.

From Manhattan, but in Kansas, it's Aubrey Gort. Who's behind the taunt with Aubrey Gort? Okay. From Falkenberg in... I think it's Sweden. Yeah, in Sweden. Okay. It's Isaac Tiodorson.

Who's behind the attack with Isaac? Yes. Can we get something for Tia Dawson? Sure. Can we? Whose favorite? Who's favorite? Yep.

I'm here with you. You're okay. We can edit out the silence. Well, we have to edit out 30 minutes there. We put it into a generator there to solve this. Whose favorite is Dawson? I adore. I adore.

With Isaac Tadour, to your Dawson. And they talk about who they're favorite Dawson's great characters. Love it. Mine's Percy. From San Ramon in California. It's George Pasco.

Who's been eating Tabasco with George Pasco? From Address Unknown Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles. It's James. Who's Lames with James? And it's just James's list of people that they think are lame. Who's on the lame list this week? It's a short podcast, but it is gripping. This week's lame list.

From Pensacola, Florida, it's Anthony Brown. Who's hometown with Anthony Brown? I take you back to your hometown. That's fantastic. And from Greenville, South Carolina, it's Edward Duffy. Whose nose is stuffy with Edward Duffy? Edward has chronic sinus issues. But he's trying to find a cure.

Going through different remedies. Beautiful stuff. Oh, welcome in. Edward, Anthony, James, George, Isaac, Aubrey, Jessica and Nikita, please. grab a drink or a taco if you want, no judgment, use the bathrooms, book a massage, and relax and mingle. You can't leave ever. But why would you want to?

We have everything you need. It's amazing in there. It's so great. We have like a working, like a co-working space for people who want to keep up their jobs. Yeah, if you want to get your shit done, you can do it. But I don't really see why, because we feed you and there's a toilet and what more is there. Exactly. What is this prison?

High-speed Wi-Fi if you want to talk to your family, I guess. Yeah, I guess. I don't know why you would. Well, they can wave at you through the fence. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Whatever.

But we're your family now. Where are your family now? So thank you so much for joining us for yet another fantastic episode of Do Go On. If I may say so myself as one of the hosts of Do Go On. We'll be back next week. Look, what I will say is you can suggest a topic if you want to. You don't have to be a Patreon. You don't have to pay a cent to suggest a topic.

No. There's a link in our show notes. And it's also on our website, which is DoGoOnpod.com. and you can find us on social media at Do Go On Pod or Do Go On Podcast on TikTok. Dave, boot this baby home. Until next week, we will say thank you so much for listening and until then it's goodbye.

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