Do Go On - 483 - The Kidnapping of Alfred The Gorilla

Starting point is 00:00:00 Do Go On's 500th episode is coming to Melbourne at the Capitol Theatre on Saturday, April 26 and here's a ticket update, we've now sold 80% of all tickets. So if you want to get involved, you might want to go to dogoonpod.com That's Saturday, April 26 episode of Do Go On. Bristol, how you doing out there? Oh my goodness, thank you so much. Man, it's good to be here in the city of the bridge. Yeah, we love that bridge.

Starting point is 00:00:49 Yeah, what a... We went over a different bridge today and we were, as we went over, we were like, fuck you. Boo, why do you even exist? There's a better bridge just over there. What's that bridge called? The one that we love? Yeah. Your favorite bridge, what's over there. What's that bridge called? The one that we love? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:06 Your favorite bridge, what's it called? What's it called? Your favorite bridge in the whole wide world? Obviously you know the name. It's one of my favorites. Where's it sit in the top five? I'd say two. Okay, and it's called?

Starting point is 00:01:20 Well, I, because I've become so close to it, I'd normally have a nickname for it. I don't know what the official name that others call it, but I call it... Bridgy. Is it the Bristol Bridge? Suspension Bridge? That's getting closer. Oh, it's the Suspension Bridge. Yeah, but it's also got another word in there.

Starting point is 00:01:44 Clifton oh is that right Clifton suspension bridge I know your bridge I love your bridge yeah that's so I call I just call him Cliff yeah we're not gonna talk about the bridge today I'm sorry sorry I do I do have a Bristol story coming up for you though so but before we get there, we always ask, give us a cheer if you've ever heard the podcast before. Woo! Brilliant, and we also follow up with this question

Starting point is 00:02:13 and feel free to shout your lungs out right now if you've never heard the show ever before in your life. Woo! A few, great. Right here in the front row? Every time, they're always in the fucking front row. I think that's eight shows in a row on the sewer. And you just said no, does that mean you haven't heard

Starting point is 00:02:29 the show or no, I have heard the show? Now you're speaking our language. Yeah, nah, that is actually. That's Australian. I reckon you have heard it before from that. You know what we're about. Sorry, for the people that haven't heard it, we take it in turns here to report on a topic which is often suggested to us by one of the listeners.

Starting point is 00:02:52 We go away, do a little bit of research, then bring it back to the group. Now, it is my turn to do the report this week. And we always start... They did not give a shit about that. Yeah, do you remember the first... Whenever it's me or Jess doing the report, people stand up, they cheer. But whenever it's David, it's sad actually. Everyone's like, fuck, why do we come to the duds night?

Starting point is 00:03:14 Because that's what you or you all call him the dud. I look them to one the curtain, it's usually the opposite. And I didn't pause there because I didn't want you to make them feel bad. So the question is, to get us on the topic. You're a piece of shit. I'll throw it to these guys and then I'll see if anyone in the crowd knows if they you know don't get to the right answer. The question is what kind of animal is 1930s Bristol local celebrity Alfred? Oh, well the local socket foot rugby team is called the Bears. So I'm going to go for Bear.

Starting point is 00:03:49 No. Is that right though, the Bears? OK, fuck, thank God. Rugby? Yep. There's one sports fan here. Big rugby fandom in here tonight. Big overlap, I think.

Starting point is 00:04:01 Is it going to be an animal that Matt will be annoyed at himself for not picking? Yes, it will be. So it's a primate? It is a primate. That's not the end of my guess. You were doing really well here. Thank you. Is it a... can I just see your iPad for a second? I'm gonna say orangutan. I was gonna say that chimpanzee. No, I was gonna say Mamacet I was gonna say gorilla My next guess was gonna be Elaine's brown titty But I don't think that's a real one. So the odds of it being that were pretty long. Pretty long. Now I say it's a 1930s Bristol local celebrity but are you

Starting point is 00:04:49 locals, the people that are local to Bristol, are you aware of Alfred? A few, okay. A few? And give us a cheer if you've never heard of Alfred. Okay, okay. And either of you heard of Alfred? Of course. Yeah, okay. Alfred the Gorilla? No, never. And yeah, it is, to be honest, a primate topic as well. So feel free to put this in the primates feed. I will, 100%. We won't be putting it in the Dugan feed. No.

Starting point is 00:05:18 That's the excuse. Welcome to Primates, everyone. So good to be back in the monkey house. Here we are. Where we explore primates and popular culture from Chimpanzee all the way down to Chimpanzee. I'm your host, Matt Stewart. I think we should edit this in later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:34 I think it's something like that. So I put up four Bristol topics for the vote and this one, and there were like nearly a thousand votes and it won by a single vote. While I was waiting, I was watching it for a couple of days go oh that's in front this in front. Like non-stop as well. You take it serious. Yeah. You didn't sleep for days. Let me just refresh it now. Oh no. I have to write another report about World War 2. Okay. Bristol has a long history with gorillas. The first gorilla bones ever bought to Britain were brought to Bristol.

Starting point is 00:06:13 I mean a long history with gorillas. The first bones were brought here. Yeah. Are you proud of that? Is that good? I don't know. What did you do with them? Yeah, come on, you've got the bridge, you've got gorilla bones, you've got a lot happening. Oh, what do they make the bridge out of? Oh. We don't talk about it.

Starting point is 00:06:38 So American naturalist Dr. Thomas Savage, Dr. Savage is incredible. That's amazing. Was sent to Liberia in Western Africa in 1836 and wrote of a discovery he'd made to Sir Richard Owen. Sir Richard Owen was a well-known paleontologist and is probably best remembered today for coining the word dinosauria, which became dinosaur, meaning terrible reptile or fearfully great reptile. So Dr Savage wrote to Sir Owen about some bones he'd found in Africa.

Starting point is 00:07:09 He said, I have found the existence of an animal of extraordinary character in this locality, and which I have reason to believe is unknown to the naturalist. As yet, I have been unable to obtain more than part of a skeleton. He got a bit more. Three skulls were sent to Bristol, and when they made their way to Richard Owen, the guy that coined the dinosaur phrase. Did he think it was all from the same animal? A triple headed. This thing's crazy. It's got one spine, three heads and nothing else. Can't picture a wriggling around. Probably

Starting point is 00:07:39 just begging to be put out of his misery. So he proposed, this is Richard Owen proposed to name animal after Dr. Savage as Troglodytes Savagie. However, by the time the paper was published, a guy called Dr. Jeffrey Wyman of Harvard had already published a description of the bones with the name Troglodytes Gorilla. I was hoping there was a Dr. Gorilla somewhere in here. I was really hoping for that. Where do you think the name comes from? The first living gorilla reached Europe in the 1880s,

Starting point is 00:08:10 however these animals all died within a couple of years often from lung disease. When a zoo in Poland had a gorilla reach the age of seven it was thought to be a miracle. Bristol Zoo got their first gorilla in the year 1900, however, it soon died. Sorry about that. Just for the people who've never heard this, this isn't technically a comedy show. Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. But they, I mean, the problem was they were smoking a pack a day. Well, they thought that's what they did in the wild.

Starting point is 00:08:41 Here we are at the tobacco factory tonight. in the wild. Here we are at the tobacco factory tonight. A few decades went by and Alfred the Gorilla was born around 1928 in what was then the Belgian Congo. He was initially found by an expedition from the North American Museum of Natural History. According to Wikipedia, which is a great gorilla website that I found. What does it stand for? Why wiki media? Yeah, what's that got to do with gorillas? Yeah. Look, they were either going to call them like savagely gorillas or wikis and they went

Starting point is 00:09:16 with gorillas, so sorry about that. That's boring, I regret asking. The expedition members were told that a pair of gorillas had been shot for raiding a farmers field for food. It does get more fun I swear. And afterwards a baby was discovered and suckled by a local woman. I told you it gets more fun. Can I double check what is what you like a bottle or And that was in that was in this city No, that was still in Africa. Okay. All right So in Africa, okay The baby gorilla was later sold to a Greek merchant and then taken to modern-day Cameroon where the expedition encountered him playing in the streets. He was described by the expedition as

Starting point is 00:10:07 the liveliest specimen of his kind we had ever seen. The others have been bones. Is this the first they've seen? Say again? Is this the first of his kind they've seen? Oh no, they've seen before. Wow, he is lively. I've never seen him before. I assume the others aren't as lively as this one.

Starting point is 00:10:24 In 1930 Bristol Zoo, already successful in raising chimpanzees, acquired Alfred for £350, which is about £20,000 today. The zoo's newest addition was in fact a silverback lowland gorilla and was named after Alfred Mosley, a benefactor of the zoo. A fitting tribute, I think we can all agree. After the gorilla arrived at the zoo on September 5th, which became the day his birthday was celebrated. Okay, that's nice. Did they have a party for him? Yeah, every year. Do they put a little hat on him? Yeah, well he actually does wear little outfits. little outfits. It's awesome. Is it? Nah, let's lean into awesome. It's awesome and he likes it. He loved it. A hundred years ago he loved it. His enclosure was positioned just inside one of the

Starting point is 00:11:21 entrances and this prominent position alongside his vibrant personality meant that he quickly became one of the zoo's main attractions. His keeper, a guy called Frank Guise, which sounds like a fake name. His middle name was Dis. If you see a written down that does work quite well. They still got it. They're not idiots. Yeah, I mean, you should have heard Birmingham last time, oh my god. Well, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:59 We had to spell it out for him. It was my report, there wasn't a lot of spelling out. It was a lot of single entendres in there. It was the single horniest episode we've ever done. Regrettably so. It was fucked. So we're going to talk about a wholesome gorilla today. His keeper, Frank Guise, would walk with Alfred around the zoo to see the other animals, all whilst the baby gorilla wore knitted woollen jumpers.

Starting point is 00:12:34 Matt, if you don't think that's cute, you're dead inside. I just, I find them really itchy and I can only imagine, as a fellow silverback, that just would have been uncomfortable. So yeah, I think that's fucked. By his third year he had grown a lot and had hit 50 kilos and had become very strong. He broke a photographer's tripod during his birthday party and after this he was no longer allowed to wander the zoo on his daily walks. Aww.

Starting point is 00:13:10 Oh he was out loose was he? He didn't let him go. With a keeper with him. Oh yeah. I imagine them holding hands. Yeah. And being like whoa look! Oh that keeper is gonna get ripped apart.

Starting point is 00:13:23 Is that where this is going? Oh we'll find out. That's a yes. Yeah they don't know yet. They just think this gorilla is my best friend. That gorilla is gonna kill you. He became the oldest gorilla to survive in captivity in 1938. His diet was completely vegetarian which was an innovation in the practice

Starting point is 00:13:46 of keeping captive gorillas. There's a little woo for that. Woo! So entirely vegetarian, woo! But that is, that's funny, they were all dying because they were being fed meat that they don't eat in the wild, is that right? Well they eat mostly, some bugs and stuff,

Starting point is 00:13:59 but I think they were literally giving them steak. Oh, okay. What's wrong with the gorilla? Eat up, eat your bacon, come on. To celebrate becoming the oldest gorilla in the world, visitors, well in zoos that is, visitors were invited to guess Alfred's weight. Oh man, that's gone from a celebration to like,

Starting point is 00:14:20 let's all have a laugh at this fat fuck. Brutal, that's rough. One minute you go, oh yeah thank you sir, oh okay I see. But anyway Dave, Jess is getting on, let's guess her weight. Hmm, hmm. Hmm. Do you like how we dress her in a woolen knit? Yes, the boys do dress me. So, people were invited to guess Alfred the Griller's weight and I don't know how many people guessed but the closest guess was 20 stone, a stone being about 6.3 kilos.

Starting point is 00:15:12 That was the closest guess to his weight of 26 stones. So the closest guess was 127 kilos and he weighed 165. What is wrong with Bristolians? They didn't get anywhere nearer. Wow So it was a great birthday party had a great time. Yeah, he got cake he got weighed They were just being nice. Oh, jeez he's looking slim How old do you think I am 12, you know Always under. How old do you think I am?

Starting point is 00:15:42 Twelve. You know so. Alfred was the face of the zoo and became extremely popular. His status as one of the zoo's main attractions is reflected by the fact that many of them recall, this is people that visited, that rather than going to the zoo they would often think of their visits as going to see Elphie. That's quite cute. That deserved more of an aw.

Starting point is 00:16:04 Thank you. I'm not sure he felt exactly the same way. That's quite cute. That deserved more of an aww. Thank you. I'm not sure he felt exactly the same way. He disliked airplanes, buses, specifically the double decker variety absolutely enraged him. Why they're awesome. Yeah, he's like, fuck that. He also hated bearded men. See how, isn't it interesting that we both looked at Matt? I mean, I think- So you don't even consider that a beard. I think I would have been fine.

Starting point is 00:16:41 Man, that hurts. Alfie, no. Odd shape for Alfie. You'd show for Alfie. Odd show for Alfie. Please don't. The problem was he'd see me be like, oh, actually. Put it back on. Geez, that's a tiny mouth. I understand what you were doing there.

Starting point is 00:16:58 That chin is not street ready. Weird way to put it, Alfie, but okay. Take your point. Harsh but fair. He was also offended by Rosie the elephant being allowed to walk past his enclosure which would cause him to sulk. So Rosie's walking past he's flipping her off. Fuck you Rosie.

Starting point is 00:17:19 What is going on in this zoo everyone? All the animals, elephants are huge, they shouldn't be roaming. He's gone for a wander, holding that guy's hand. Rosie's gonna rip him apart. This is gonna, I hope this ends badly. For the humans. Yes! Alfie seemed to like some of the zoo's visitors and people would come back many times to sit by his enclosure. But he wasn't a fan of every visitor to the zoo and he would often throw piles of his own shit at people.

Starting point is 00:17:54 One visitor recalled, quote, Alfred used to express his opinion of the human race by picking up large lumps of his droppings and hurling them accurately at the spectators in front of his cage. It was a delight for small schoolboys to be able to act as cheerleaders to this somewhat one-sided contest. I love that somewhat some people did throw their shit back. But it wasn't just limited to shit. According to the Bristol Museum, who wrote about this in the 90s, Alfred also had a habit of urinating on visitors after climbing the bars of his cage.

Starting point is 00:18:38 One child was beckoned over by the gorilla. Hey, hey, hey, come here. Oh, okay. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here,

Starting point is 00:18:55 come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come

Starting point is 00:19:03 here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, still remembered by her grandchildren today who often, this is again from the Bristol Museum, who often asked to see the gorilla who quote, did a wee on great grandma when they visit the museum. Like it's a beautiful um treasured family memory but it also sort of says not much else happened to her in her life. That's all they know about her. This is this reporter's son have a bit in common with last night's one actually. It'll never be out publicly but it was a lot about shitting. More human shitting. Anyway, it's alright. I regret bringing that up again. But normally this is not... Two in a row is weird.

Starting point is 00:19:46 Normally we only do scat every once a month maybe bi-monthly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the final sentence in this character. Oh my god, it's still going, alright. That is how we felt for a full hour with your report last night.

Starting point is 00:20:04 Oh my god, he's still going. Alfred had spent years perfecting the angle he climbed his cage to get the perfect shot of Pierce Dede's unsuspecting victim. I love that dedication. You have to respect that. Alfred was also fond of playing hide and seek with visitors. One visitor recalled how she once got her head stuck in the bars of Alfred's cage when she was 10. What the fuck is happening in these ears? How vulnerable are you? Oh my god. He doesn't even have to aim from a distance.

Starting point is 00:20:35 He could go point blank range. Alfred, no! She was later rescued by St John's ambulance worker. What a waste of their time. I know. I imagine it was a frequent call. Oh, another child stuck in Alfred's enclosure, okay. She recalled, how did Alfred react to my dilemma?

Starting point is 00:20:59 He just sat in the corner of his cage, clapping his hands loudly and laughing. She now tells the story to her grandchildren when they visit the zoo. Honestly, get a life. Do something else with your life. One time I got my head stuck in those bars. It was the most interesting day of my entire existence. Nah, good on those old ladies. They didn't like that I was mean to the old ladies. I'm trying to win them back. They're like, that's my great grandma you're talking about. Jess is a feminist, we should lift up women.

Starting point is 00:21:33 You know what I mean? It's not that hard, mate. Five minutes ago, he was trying to guess my weight. And you're all fucking on team Matt. Are you fucking serious? Jess, Jess, Jess. Don't even start me. I find women hot and I think they all are

Starting point is 00:21:58 and I think they should be weighed. And that's the main reason. You know when I always say we should lift women up? That's to main reason. You know when I always say we should lift women up? That's to weigh them. Still clapping it. What the fuck? Take it back one layer and it's like, it's fucking weird. But you're all like, I don't get you people. I've lost them again.

Starting point is 00:22:26 How good are these old ladies? Yeah! Probably heavy. I don't know what they want. Oh yeah, I've got a bit of tape on there. Hey, I was saving that for later. Thank you. Alfred's fame really took off during World War II.

Starting point is 00:22:47 Some of the animals were moved away from Bristol Zoo during the war, but Alfred remained. Sounds like they don't care about him. The presence of the US Army and their troops in Bristol allowed Alfred's popularity to spread further as soldiers sent images and stories featuring the guerrilla across the Atlantic. Thousands of postcards with his image were sent to the USA and articles concerning Alfred were reproduced in American newspapers and he retained his celebrity status throughout the war. So he's world famous. He thankfully survived the war but sadly all All good things must come to an end. And Alfred died after contracting tuberculosis. I didn't see that coming, did you?

Starting point is 00:23:32 On the 10th of March 1948, he was at the time the longest living gorilla in captivity anywhere in the world, being, they thought, about 20 years old. Wow. His death also led to better care of apes in captivity, when it was realised gorillas were susceptible to human diseases like tuberculosis. A user with the first name Debra commented this- Our research knows no bounds. We'll-

Starting point is 00:23:59 We will dive into the comments section. I will refer to Debra. I thought when he was referring to Wikipedia before that would be the shittest research He will dive into the comments section. I will refer to Deborah. I thought when he was referring to Wikipedia before, that would be the shittest research he's done. But... What's happening? I just love Deborah's trip down memory lane.

Starting point is 00:24:15 When she commented this on a... It is memory lame, to be honest. When she commented this on a BBC article about Alfred, which was published in 2010. Okay, so it was a BBC article, which which is a pretty that's a good resource. But let's hear from Deb. Honestly some of the previous stuff did come from that article but Debra you know I've got to include this you'll agree with me.

Starting point is 00:24:39 With this long paragraph from Debra. One of my earliest childhood memories. I was three years, five months. Yeah, these fucking rules. Sitting at the top of the stairs of our home with my sister in Bristol. How old is your sister? I can only assume. Two years, two months. My father came through the front door, bright April sunshine. And called through to my mother in the kitchen. I'm not coming home for lunch.

Starting point is 00:25:14 I'm going to the zoo. Alfred's died. My mother's laughter from the kitchen. Bitch! My sister and I chuckling. Why did we find it funny? Not sure. My father was Joseph Yoffie, professor of anatomy at Bristol.

Starting point is 00:25:49 The anatomy department had first claim on his body I think and hoped to dissect him. Not sure what happened next except they discovered he had TB. Every time I see Alfred's face, I remember our home ringing with laughter. And the April sunshine. This is the perfect setting for you to have just done that beautiful dramatic reading. It felt so good. I felt like I was holding Jorik's skull right here. It felt good. Deb's a psycho. So I had to include that. Three years, five months. No way. That was beautifully written. Yeah. April sunshine. Oh boy. Beautiful. Deborah, are you in tonight? Imagine. Imagine.

Starting point is 00:26:53 So Alfred's body was preserved. Not sure. Not sure. Not sure. Not sure. Why? Do we find it so funny? Not sure.

Starting point is 00:26:59 That's why that's everyone's conversation in the car tonight on the way home. That's where that's everyone's conversation in the car tonight on the way home. So Alfred's body was preserved and mounted for the museum by the famous taxidermist Roland Ward of London. Alfred. Big fan. Big taxidermy fan. Alfie was displayed in a pose representing him on all fours and... Okay, this isn't last night's report, okay? He's a fucking gorilla. Yeah, so that classic cross-legged... arms down sort of pose. Blank. What?

Starting point is 00:27:42 We got a good bit of floor here for you. Dave, use the space. Oh, God. That's not all fours. Oh, maybe he's like this. Yeah, that's... yeah. You've got options, whatever you want it to be. And he was displayed at the Bristol City Museum, occupying a coveted spot near the museum cafe.

Starting point is 00:28:18 Very exciting. At first there was only a few bits of information displayed with his body, but his popularity continued, many remembering him from his life at the zoo, and soon he became one of the most visited and celebrated exhibits. Alfred continued to hit the headlines even after his death. Wow, that's the dream. I hope they find my letters. I've said too much. In March 1956, the museum curator arrived at work to find Alfred had mysteriously disappeared from his case.

Starting point is 00:29:00 That's right, Alfred had been kidnapped. Whoa. Ape-napped? He'd been ape-napped. That was really good. That's right, Alfred had been kidnapped. Whoa! Ape-napped? He'd been ape-napped. That was really good. Thanks man. Thank you. Hey, you can have that one.

Starting point is 00:29:13 Yeah, with your permission we'll edit you out and I'll say that. Yeah, yeah, let's get you saying it clean and then a good reaction. That's right, Alfred had been... Ape-napped. Ape-napped! Whoa! We'll edit out that little silence as well. Laughter It was theorised that someone had used a connecting door between Bristol Museum, an art gallery, and the University of Bristol's Wills building to break into the museum.

Starting point is 00:29:40 But who would do such a heinous thing? And why? Deb. Debber. Yeah, she was laughing maniacally the whole way. Probably five years old at the time. That feels right. The police began an investigation into the shocking disappearance of the Bristol icon. 60 hours after his heartless abduction. They left his heart?

Starting point is 00:30:08 Ape-duction. Thank you so much. 60 hours after his heartless ape-duction, Alfred turned up in a doctor's surgery across the road from where he was taken. He wasn't dead? Can you believe it? Wow. And he knew to go to a doctor. He is. Jesus guys. He's full of life. I have written here, Alfred was a little shaken but made a full

Starting point is 00:30:40 recovery and was soon returned to his case at the Bristol Museum. Where he is still on display on the first floor where apparently you'll get a great view of Britain's first plane, the Bristol Box Kite from the balcony. Pretty exciting. Has anyone seen him? Wow. Cool. Can you confirm which position he's in? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:03 What's he doing? The second one. The second one. The second one. Thank you. The one, you know, the one of the two that was anything like the description. But what had happened to Alfred in those mysterious 60 hours? Yeah. Would the culprits be found and face justice? Well, it was almost a mystery episode as it remained a mystery for over five 60 hours. Would the culprits be found and face justice?

Starting point is 00:31:27 Well, it was almost a mystery episode as it remained a mystery for over five decades until it was finally solved in 2010. Whoa. Oh, and Deborah wrote a note. That's another paragraph. That's another comment. In 2010, the guardian revealed the culprits after 54 years. Wow. I thought, I think that was gonna be a longer wow.

Starting point is 00:31:51 Honestly, it didn't deserve anything. But I saw you getting your drink, but I was like, I'll give him something, but it can't be much. Wow. Thank you. Just time your sips better. The guardian revealed the culprits after 54 years.

Starting point is 00:32:09 Don't ignore me. Ah. What's wrong with you, Dave? What's this? Wow. Why, you get an applause for yours? Yeah. The bar is lower for women. We do anything people are like, bloody look at her go.

Starting point is 00:32:33 She left the house. She used the handle. So the Guardian revealed the culprits after 54 long years. But only after one of the kidnappers, Ron Morgan, a Bristol real estate agent had died. The article writes, Fred Hooper who was also involved with the theft together with a third person known only as DS. Deborah. Oh my god. It's a hundred percent Debra. It's Debra. Today lifted the lid on the mystery after Morgan's death, age 79. So they waited until Morgan had passed and they were like, we're going to come clean. When Morgan died, Debra's house was full of laughter.

Starting point is 00:33:19 Why? Not sure. Debs, she's sick. This is again from 2010. Hooper77, who now lives in Cheltenham Gloucestershire said, It was initially my idea. I was about 23 at the time and thought it would be a great jape. Ape jape. My god. This guy is a criminal genius.

Starting point is 00:33:48 We took Alfred because he was such a big Bristol personality and... he was close by. It took a bit of planning, we knew the porter, and so we were able to get a key cut to the door that linked the museum to the university. Then we hid in the belfry of the bell tower until 1am when everything was closed. It wasn't such a good idea in hindsight as the bells were still ringing

Starting point is 00:34:11 and incredibly loud. We got into the museum and then we used the side door to get him out. It was very early in the morning and we stuffed him into the boot of an old Vauxhall car and sped off to my bed-sit. That's where he stayed for the duration and we took pictures of him in different geysers. They fit a gorilla in the boot?

Starting point is 00:34:35 Wow! They made cars different back then. What a great ad for Vauxhall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Need a bigger boot? Call Voxel. So the friends kept Alfred hostage for 60 hours in their flat in Clifton. Near the bridge? Hooper added, there are all sorts of stories going around. People thought Cardiff students had kidnapped him. Yeah, blame Cardiff. And there was a rumour he was in a cave somewhere, but we never told anyone we had him. There was a rumour he was in a cave somewhere. Hey, do you know where the gorilla is? Probably in a cave. So they thought he's escaped and gone to find a cave. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:28 Sure. It was always our intention to return him and so the easiest thing was to take him to a doctor's waiting room which was just across the road. It was midday on a Saturday and we just carried him over and left him there. And no one saw anything or said anything. I love this city, none of you are grasses. Morgan saw his friends and family to secrecy because he feared he could be prosecuted.

Starting point is 00:35:57 But he kept a scrapbook with dozens of pictures of the stolen gorilla, as well as local newspaper cuttings from the time. Tim Coram, the deputy head of Bristol's museums, told the Guardian in 2010 that they would not be pursuing the surviving pranksters. But I think they should life sentences for a lot of them. It's a disgrace what they did. You loved when he was put in a little jacket.

Starting point is 00:36:22 I think you'd love this. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Apparently, the kidnapping had all been done as a part of Rag Week at Bristol University. Are you guys familiar with Rag Week here? Am I saying that right, Rag? We don't like Rag Week. There was a lot of like, me, and then I see you don't like it and so I went, oh. I don't get you. We don't talk about Rag Week. Okay, Roger that.

Starting point is 00:36:55 Well I'll be really quiet over here. Rag Week stands for raising and giving and the uni has been doing it for over 90 years. Oh, they don't like raising and giving and the uni has been doing it for over 90 years. Oh they don't like raising and giving. Oh charity. I assumed it was going to be like weird sort of induction things to like secret societies and weird stuff where they like spank things and stuff but I'm like yeah okay fair enough. Yeah we don't talk about it. It's a charity fundraiser. We don't talk about that. I found an article on Bristol Uni student newspaper called Epigram titled 10 weird and wonderful things

Starting point is 00:37:32 University of Bristol students have done to raise money for rag week. I thought I could go through a few of them now. Okay. Do we have any University of Bristol alumni or current students in tonight. A couple over there. I reckon there's more. You just cowards. Well let me tell you, these guys are wild. Okay. Oh my god. What have they done? They are wild. Dave, tell me about it. Dave!

Starting point is 00:37:58 I'm scared that you're in tonight because... Here we go. In 1960 a young female Bristol student sat on the end of a makeshift ducking stool over the moat in front of the city council house. On the other end of the plank were large stones, which were purchased by onlookers one by one. As the weight of the stones decreased, the girl began to outweigh them until eventually she was dipped into the water. Can you believe that?

Starting point is 00:38:25 And the last stones would have come after her. That's actually, that's fucked. She deserved everything she got. I mean money-wise. Not stones to the face. That was a really good recovery. Good save. In 1969... Nice. Thank you. Little pause there. More than a hundred pairs of pajama bottoms disappeared from male students in Churchill Hall. Just the bottoms?

Starting point is 00:38:57 The Raiders were 16 female students from Manor Hall. It was so skillfully done that no one even knew the Raider disappeared until the men of Churchill Hall got ready for bed. They're all wandering around the halls just tops on. Oh you too you too. That's not a good look is it? No. The adult man with the... The Winnie Pooh. Yeah, not a great look. Not a great look. One of the thieves explained, students make the public cough up a lot of cash for rag week.

Starting point is 00:39:33 We thought we would make some of the students pay their share. The male students got their trousers back the next day. At a price of course. You are crazy. Here's another one. A man is shot in the street and falls to the pavement. (*audience laughs*) Blood is everywhere. Except he hasn't been shot.

Starting point is 00:39:58 And it's actually just a rag-weak stunt organised by medical students. Oh, that's gone too far. That's gone too far, that has. Do you think it's gone too far? Don't trigger me. If you're gonna pretend to shoot him, shoot him. Shoot him.

Starting point is 00:40:09 So it's, they haven't actually been shot. It is real blood though. The students took a bag of real blood from a friend which would pop as the victim was shot. They took a bag of blood from a friend. Hey Steve, can we borrow some of your blood? Well, can we take some of your blood? Was Steve a vampire?

Starting point is 00:40:33 What's going on there? Why does Steve have a bag of his own blood? It's so weird. Well, they're medical students, so they're probably just like, we can take it. Oh, right, yeah, sorry. I didn't realize they were medical students. I can do whatever the fuck they like. Medical students.

Starting point is 00:40:49 Student Paul G was fined as a result and said, I will pay my fine if my loan comes through in April. All right, second last one, which is number seven on the list, the jailbreak. Can I just double it? So how did pretending to be shot in the street raise money for charity? I also don't know how kidnapping a dead gorilla raised money for charity either. Oh that was a rag? That was a rag break.

Starting point is 00:41:14 Yeah, I don't know if you've fully got your heads around the thing. Like you do a lap-a-thon where you every lap you get money. Something like that. Is that not what you call it? I reckon it is but we're in a different country. You have laps here don't you? What do you call a circuit around an oval or something? Cirque around an oval.

Starting point is 00:41:41 A very literal people the English. Yeah we'll shorten anything we can. Cirque around an oval. A very literal people, the English. Yeah, we'll shorten anything we can. Circle around an oval-a-thon. Nah, let's just call it a lap-a-thon. That'll be universally understood. I can't believe they don't have lap-a-thons here. The more I say it, it does sound pretty stupid. Yeah, no, yeah, kill a man in the street. A thought.

Starting point is 00:42:08 That makes sense. Makes sense. For every person we pretend to kill on the street, I promise to donate 10p. Alright, there's one. Alright, the second last one, number seven on the list, the jailbreak. For many years, a popular method of for RAG was the jailbreak. Thankfully the event was not much like its name suggests, but rather would involve a group of students attempting to get as far away from Bristol as possible with absolutely

Starting point is 00:42:35 no money. Again, I don't know how that raises any... Finally this one does, in 1991 a student named Stephen Joyce raised money by eating half a pound of live worms. That's your city. So you can still go and see Alfred at Bristol Museum. However you can't visit the Bristol Zoo as sadly it closed in 2022 after 186 years at the same site. What the hell? No and the animals were moved to an animal park at a much larger site in South Gloucestershire. But I did want to finish by talking about a world famous story from the Bristol Zoo. You might have come across it

Starting point is 00:43:18 before it's one of those stories that my dad would send around in an email chain being like can you believe this? The story is that for two decades, a man collected money from visitors parking outside. Is he your mayor or something? He collected money from visitors parking outside Bristol Zoo. One day he didn't turn up for work, and it turned out that

Starting point is 00:43:45 the Bristol City Council thought he was collecting for the zoo and the zoo thought he was collecting for the council. Meanwhile he collected the money for himself and disappeared with a fortune to retire to a tropical island paradise somewhere. Now he understands how to raise money. Get him for Ragwin. He gets it. So the zoo had always denied that there was any truth to the rumor. Like it's just made up, it's just an email chain, no truth to it.

Starting point is 00:44:16 But in 2021 as the zoo was closing down, a local committee known as the Downs for People, who tried to stop a large field called a Downs or a Down next to the zoo being used as an overflow car park, looked closer at the story than anyone had ever bothered to before. They went through all the minutes of the local council meetings where this big field for parking had been discussed. A lady named Susan Carter told the Bristol Post, it was found that for almost 30 years, from 1958 until the mid 1980s, and quite likely for 30 years before that, people were able to make their living as parking attendants, collecting voluntary donations from motorists parking on rough ground outside the zoo.

Starting point is 00:44:59 And whilst it's unlikely that anyone made an incredibly large fortune after they retired to an island, people were collecting voluntary tips for what essentially is completely free parking. One person even issued their own tickets that had the words unpaid attendant written on them. So there is some truth to it. I would have just left it at the first bit. left it at the first bit. Yeah. Well, you basically said this great, fun story and then they're like, it's not really true, but I can't have a dull, watered down version is, so I'll finish with that.

Starting point is 00:45:37 Good night. Well, thankfully I did have a little bit more here. Because you knew Matt would be a dick about it. Yeah I knew that this prick over here. What's the next thing going to be? It was really just a man in a suit gorilla? In a suit gorilla. Man in a suit.

Starting point is 00:45:57 Man in a suit. Brackets gorilla. Like I mean... I don't know how much clearer you have to make things. I just heard the end of someone saying something that ended with ow. Might have been slough. Might not have been? In 2011, to celebrate the 175th birthday of Bristol Zoo, a project called WOW! Gorillas!

Starting point is 00:46:30 Two exclamation marks there. Yes. Was organized in which 61 decorated life-size fiberglass gorilla sculptures were displayed on the streets of Bristol. Does anyone remember seeing these? Yes! On one clap. Love that. Many saw this as a tribute to Alfred himself. The sculptures were designed to raise awareness about the extinction crisis facing primates in the wild and after the display were sold at auction in

Starting point is 00:46:56 Bristol raising over 400,000 pounds with the proceeds going to charity. It feels like everyone except for Rag in your city knows how to raise money. The Wow Gorillas page hasn't been active since 2014 on Facebook when they did a post asking if people knew where the gorillas are now and someone commented, possibly Deborah. This is the only comment they got. I thought I saw the Elvis one this morning on the roof of Dent Magic at AVEN Heads. And that's the end of my report. Thank you. Give it up for Dave Wolinoky everybody. That makes sense. I want to see this Elvis gorilla.

Starting point is 00:47:56 Yeah. We know where it is. Anyone been to Dent Magic? He's still there. He's still there. It's on Peter Road. There's a gorilla on the roof. All right, we're checking that out tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:48:04 Yeah, thank you. We're going to be late for our London show. We could go see the real gorilla in the museum. We're like, we'll just go to Dent Magic. Yeah, that'll be fine. Well done, Dave. What a story. What a wild story.

Starting point is 00:48:16 What a wild town Bristol is. Yeah. We've learnt so much about you tonight. Yeah, what do you like? I feel like I've got a little bit closer to my friends here. They really backed you up there. I think it's a one way friendship. This is very one sided.

Starting point is 00:48:35 Cliff supports me. That kind of brings us, it does bring us to the end of the show. Yeah, sure. So thanks for coming out. Before we go, we will be out at the bar selling some merch or if you just want to say hi, if you just want to say hi on your way out or like we say every show we do, you can just leave without making any eye contact. Very happy for you to do that. Yeah that's fine. We do have some signed posters, some sticker packs with three stickers and some do-go-on magnets if you'd like to buy anything. But I think everything is five pounds. Yeah. Apart from that, anything else? Um, I love you. I love you too. Bit desperate, mate. Me or that guy? Oh.

Starting point is 00:49:22 Never that guy. That guy rules. I heard someone say Jesus. To be fair, this is show eight and you've elicited a Jesus at every one of those eight shows. That's eight from eight. Eight from eight. One time you got a Matthew. That was good. Anyway, yes, Dave, boot this baby home. Great, so that's the...

Starting point is 00:49:56 That's the ad been done. So we'd like to say thank you so much for coming out and supporting us in Bristol. Every time we come to Bristol we always have a great crowd. So give yourselves a round of applause. Thanks for coming out and supporting us in Bristol. Every time we come to Bristol we always have a great crowd so give yourselves a round of applause. Thanks for coming out and thank you to the Tobacco Factory for having us. We had time on sound. Thank you so much. Until next time, we'll say thank you so much and goodbye! Bye! And we're back in the room.

Starting point is 00:50:25 Wow. I can finally breathe in. Oh my goodness. The cheering, the whooping, the sheer, dare I say, adoration of that crowd towards us. You probably couldn't hear it on the recording, but the bouquets of flowers just started piling up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like hard to see the audience. I looked out into the audience at one point and where their eyes should be were just big

Starting point is 00:50:50 love hearts. It was incredible. It was amazing. You just turned into an emoji. Oh my goodness gracious. Somebody's I could see their heart thumping out of their chest. Yeah. Like a cartoon.

Starting point is 00:51:02 An ambulance was called. Yes, that was and we, you know, we wish him a speedy recovery. Yes. No, honestly, the Bristol audience, my God, Red Heart. So fun. So fun. Yeah, that was a really, really great venue. Great report, Dave. Thank you. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. And that's all we want. A local story.

Starting point is 00:51:19 I wanted a Bristol thing. Yeah. Bit of fun. What did you and Matt think before the pod you confessed to me that you guys had had a guess as to what I was going to report on? Do you remember? You said- I cannot remember. Well, you reckon we know what you're going to talk about tonight? I've no idea. You don't remember?

Starting point is 00:51:34 No. It was, and I had considered it Banksy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's apparently from Bristol. Right. Well. Apparently. Yeah. Whatever Banksy wants us to believe. Exactly. Yeah, that's right. That was mostly Matt, to be honest. Well, apparently. Yeah. Whatever Banksy wants us to believe. Exactly. Yeah, that's right.

Starting point is 00:51:47 That was mostly Matt, to be honest. Oh, I appreciate that he brought me in on that, but I don't care or think about you at all. That is, that was abundantly clear on the whole tour. And Matt has not made it back this week, I'm afraid. No, he's been a bit under the weather and that's okay. Hey, we all need a bit of time from time to time. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:09 But not all the time, Matt. Don't take the piss. Don't take the piss, okay? If you want out, just say so. Don't just, you know, just not turning up to work week after week. You don't have to pretend that you have a bad cold. Not on, mate. Not on.

Starting point is 00:52:23 And if you're, you know, if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, but I just saw Matt at such and such, we recorded this ages ago. Okay. We recorded this ages ago. All right. We're in the past for you. We're in the past. We're probably still on summer holidays right now.

Starting point is 00:52:36 Okay. Oh my gosh, I'm at the beach. Sorry, I keep pulling the curtain back, but I think that people deserve to know that we are actually human beings and we should be treated accordingly, but like, you know, Royals. So technically human. Well, we think nobody's seen their bits. Yeah. Um, I feel weird. So what we are here to do now is just take, take a bit of time, have a swim around the pool of everyone's favorite section of the show, which is where we get to spend some time thanking all the wonderful people who support us over at patreon.com slash do go on pod.

Starting point is 00:53:12 That's right. A little pause there. I'm very good at my job and I pay attention to things. So the first thing we like to do, or Dave, explain what some of the benefits are of joining at Patreon. Fantastic. There's a multiple different levels. You can even sign up for free these days. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:28 You might get a couple of shout out newslettery type things, but from $2 or above, you get a range of benefits. That's right. Including voting on topics, so deciding what we talk about. This was voted for. I gave out four Bristol based topics. This is the winner. And how could they go past the kidnapping of Alfred the Grilla? Yeah, huge. Then we also put out four bonus episodes a month at a certain tier.

Starting point is 00:53:50 You get to be part of the Facebook group, hear about live shows before everyone else get discount tickets. So sometimes they pay for themselves as members. Incredible. I just had to keep talking there while Jess was miming. I need to sneeze. I need to sneeze. I need to sneeze. It went away for a second. Yeah, yeah. I thought I'd defeated it. I had not and I apologize.

Starting point is 00:54:10 You've been brought sundown. I've been bested by a sneeze. And of course you get to know and live with the sense of satisfaction knowing that we only get to do this show because you support us on Patreon. That's right. Yeah. You think we would have kept this up? We're in our 10th year. Yeah. You think we would have kept this up this long? No. No.

Starting point is 00:54:29 Now. I'm afraid, yeah, we need to pay for the studio and such. We have to pay for the studio. We have to, you know, Dave's got a fucking mouth to feed now. Yeah. My own. His own. And if his baby's so lucky, they get sub 2. Get the scraps. And I've got a dog, okay? And he has hip issues. He probably does get the scraps.

Starting point is 00:54:50 Oh yeah, yeah. He gets whatever he wants. He is the light of my life. Anyway. So yeah, you're supporting us if you support the show and we appreciate that very much. That's not a pressure thing at all. Just by listening and telling people about the show, that helps us immensely as well. That's an awesome way to spread the word.

Starting point is 00:55:10 We appreciate that. But if you support us on the Sydney Schomburg Deluxe package. Memorial packages in peace. I'm really very good at my job. You get to participate in everyone's favorite section of the favorite section of the show. Uh, and I think it has a little jingle and I think it goes something like this. Fact quote or question.

Starting point is 00:55:34 Ding! Ding! Ah, he always remembers the ding. I always remember the sing. I see Matt makes this bit look easy. I know. It's crazy because most things he does, he makes easy things look really difficult. It's true.

Starting point is 00:55:48 But this, he actually, he just breezes through it. Yeah. I miss him. I hope he gets over that cold. So in this section, people give to, let people get to give themselves a title. They get to give us a fact, a quote, a question, a suggestion, a recipe, a brag, anything else. Anything else. Suggestion.

Starting point is 00:56:10 I already said suggestion. A joke. We've had jokes. A joke. It can be anything you like. A rap. We'd love to do a rap. You said we'd love to do a rap?

Starting point is 00:56:18 Yeah. Well, you write in the rap and then Matt will have to do it. I'd love to see that. That would be pretty good actually. So yeah, it's up to you. It's just your time to chat to us. So first one this week comes from Nathan Damon. Nathan's given himself the title group dad. Dave, it's your turn to do the dishes.

Starting point is 00:56:32 Oh no, Nathan. I mean, dad. No, have some respect. Oh, sorry. I called you Nathan dad. And dad has given us a fact. And that is, Hey guys, I thought I might go with another road train fact. Oh, I thought I might go with another road train fact. Oh, I love these. Our biggest road trains here, it's in Australia, the ones with the 98 wheels, so annoying, carry a payload of 335 ton, which is the equivalent of 145,652 blocks of government cheese.

Starting point is 00:57:01 Finally, a scale that I can get my head around. That is a fun. What's a ton get my head around. That is a fun. What's a ton? Oh, wow. That's several tons. I have always said ton, but some people say ton. Have you heard that? Do you notice that?

Starting point is 00:57:14 I think there are two words. Really? What do you mean? What's the difference between a ton and a ton? No way. A ton is an, I can't remember which is which now, an imperial unit of mass while a ton is a metric unit of mass. So, okay. So it's just metric or imperial.

Starting point is 00:57:33 So the term ton is used in American English. In the United States, the term short ton is used to distinguish the American ton from the imperial ton or ton. How are they spelt? Ton is T-O-N. Ah. And ton, I think this is, I think I've gone the best way here. Best way, T-O-N-E. T-O-N-E.

Starting point is 00:57:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yes, Nathan's written that as T-O-N-E-S, so tons. OK, that's great, because I... So this thing is telling me that they sound the same and both, or they sound the same, but is it the exact same? Anyway, I've always just said ton. So thank you. That is a fun fact. From nose to tail, they measure about 78 meters long.

Starting point is 00:58:19 This is still facts about road trains. Dave's still Googling tons. Yeah, I just wanted to say the right one. So it sounds like in Australia we would say tons though. Yeah, usually. I'm not changing. It's been 34 years. I can't change to tons now. Oh god, I sound like a boomer who can't get their head around they them pronouns. I know, I know, I know.

Starting point is 00:58:38 Oh, but it's plural. Just fucking say they them grandma. Okay, I'll say ton if that's correct. Let me just say this. Ton. Ton. They're the same. That's the same thing. That's from dictionary.cambridge.org. OK, back to the road trains. We've got derailed.

Starting point is 00:58:57 Sorry, this is way more interesting than I'm sure. So from nose to tail, they measure about 78 metres long. 78 metres? Yes. What the they measure about 78 meters long. 78 meters? Yes. What the hell? That's really long. That's longer than Barry Breen's wobbly punt that once killed her. They won an only VFL AFL premiership back in 1966.

Starting point is 00:59:16 I'm so glad he's not here for this. I know, otherwise Matt would be reminiscing. Wishing you all Merry Christmas and looking forward to your one day returning to Perth. Well, Nathan, this is, we're, okay, pulling back the curtain again, we're recording this part before Christmas and we say thank you so much, wishing you a Merry Krishmish, but this is going to come out after Krishmish. So we all sound like fools.

Starting point is 00:59:39 Dave is still Googling. I know. I've lost you completely. I can see that your face is glazed. Not just your eyes, your entire face is glazed. This is just saying that both words sound exactly the same. Okay, so it could just be that people pronounce it slightly differently. Okay, there you go.

Starting point is 00:59:52 But there are two different measurements, which is why. And I'm not wrong by saying tonne. So that's all I really care about. Ding ding ding. And thank you, Nathan. 78 meters is unbelievable. That's insane. I'd love to go to work for a day with Nathan.

Starting point is 01:00:06 That's the kind of work experience you want to do. Absolutely. And not the fucking op shop I went and did work experience in. Boring. Thank you, Nathan. Our next fake quota question comes from Lauren Joyner. Lauren has given themselves the title, quite possibly, the messiest person alive. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:00:23 Have you seen Dave's handwriting? Hey, it's pretty bad. It's pretty bad, but your house messiest person alive. I don't know, have you seen Dave's handwriting? Hey, it's pretty bad. It's pretty bad, but your house, immaculate. Exactly. I can't give you that. Thank you. Lauren's given us a question this week.

Starting point is 01:00:33 It says, what is your favorite cryptid? I'd also love to hear about some local lore or ghost stories. My eight-year-old daughter just checked out a book from the library called Atlas of Monsters and Ghosts. Yes, she is very cool. She gets it from me. And she was flipping through the Australian section. She was especially taken by the ghost of the opera in Melbourne and the yaoi.

Starting point is 01:00:53 I love a yaoi. Oh yeah. As we always say, answer your own question if you want to. Please. Lauren has done that. Yes, thank you. To answer my own question, you're welcome. My favourite cryptid is Mothman.

Starting point is 01:01:05 I don't have a good reason for it other than I like his vibes. I do find it interesting that he's linked to a few tragic events, just showing how humans will try to find comfort in anything. Also his statue is amazing with those buns of steel. I must also give a shout out to Nessie because she's a classic and you just can't go wrong with a dinosaur like creature in a lake. Great call. Yeah, I totally agree.

Starting point is 01:01:29 In Arizona, where I reside, we have the Mogollon monster. Mogollon? Very smelly, Bigfoot-esque monster. That's so good. Imagine being the cryptid and being like, oh, oh, you think I stink. I understand I'm big, but stinky, I'm smelly, I'm very smelly. Bigfoot-esque monster who resides in the Mogollon Rim, so well, so well named. A lot of Arizona cryptids come from indigenous culture and folklore, like Thunderbirds and Skinwalkers of Navajo legend. I recently went on a full moon tour around Sedona and our guide told us about all the various sightings of cryptids, ghosts, aliens, and more.

Starting point is 01:02:02 All very exfiles and pure delight, though very cold. For those listening, if you're visiting the Grand Canyon, take a detour to Sedona. Taking a detour to Sedona is well worth it. It's weird and beautiful and full of scenery, unlike anything else." Sounds amazing. Sounds very cool. So, fantastic. Not only have you answered the question, you've given some context there about your

Starting point is 01:02:23 eight-year-old reading this book. You've question, you've given some context there about your eight-year-old reading this book. You've given, you've answered, you've given tourist advice. You rule, Lauren. Yeah, that's great. Favorite cryptid. You did mention a yaoi. Yaois are fun.

Starting point is 01:02:36 Yeah, so that's an Australian one. But I am mostly thinking of the chocolate yaoi. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'm sure they wouldn't know this in America that we have a, and it's come back recently. It was the thing when we were kids and I think it went away and it's come back. It's kind of like if you have a Kinder Surprise, which is like, you know, it's a

Starting point is 01:02:50 chocolate coated little plastic capsule and inside that there's a toy that you build or whatever. And we had Yowies based on the Australian cryptid, the Yowie. And they came in different colours. And I'm pretty sure, was there a TV show or at least the ad they went YOWE POWER! Yeah, and I think there were different like little characters each of the different colors of YOWE's which is just the foil packaging Yeah, yeah, well like a different character. I think but I don't know if I have a favorite cryptid. Do you have a favorite cryptid? Well, it's another one we've talked about on the show before and it's one that's Matt introduced us to and I love him

Starting point is 01:03:22 And it's the the lizard man of scapegoat love him and it's the Lizard Man Escapel Swamp. Yeah. You have to remember, likes butter beans. Yes. That might be one that I have to go back and re-listen to because I remember having a lot of fun and I don't remember much of the details of that one at all. Sorry, I'm just getting emotional thinking about it. I think another good one to cover would be there's in Victoria, and I think also in New

Starting point is 01:03:45 South Wales, legends of like black panthers. Of course. Being out in the, you know, in the bush. Kersi Webeck and Cal Wilson really got very invested in the panther. The Otway panther. Oh, yes. Otway, that's the one, yes. Yep, yep.

Starting point is 01:03:59 The sightings of a panther in the Otways. And some people swear that they've seen like a giant panther living just in the Australian bush. Yeah. So I think that could be worth it. Yeah, that's fun. That could be worth an episode. Get Kirsty back on. Yes, we'd love to get Kirsty back on.

Starting point is 01:04:13 Thank you so much, Lauren. Yeah, love that. But yeah, there's so many great cryptids. We could, we're due for a good cryptid episode. Yeah, I feel like it's been a little while. We should do another one. I guess you, has that one come out that you did on tour? Would you say it's a tour out that you did on tour?

Starting point is 01:04:25 Would you say it was a tour, it was a cryptid? Oh yes, actually that hasn't come out yet. Okay, never mind. That's right, we recorded one in Manchester that is sort of cryptid at least adjacent. Yes, yeah, yeah. Definitely in that world of things. So, just keep your ears peeled for that. Next up, we have Jordan.

Starting point is 01:04:43 Jordan's title is Advocate for mental health, just not my own. And Jordan, oh man. Come on Jordan, you've got to look after yourself. You can't pull from an empty cup. You're after my own heart. I'm the same. I'm like, you've got to have boundaries. You've got to, you know, you've got to look after yourself.

Starting point is 01:04:57 Can't give from an empty cup, yada yada yada. Me? Push, push, push, push, push, push. Okay. And Jordan has given us, this this is a first hobby sharing. Oh, that's fun. Love this. Okay.

Starting point is 01:05:10 So I have some hobbies that are weird, that are a weird dichotomy thought I'd share. So I love motorcycles and riding. I'm the guy in the motorcycle club that wrote a thousand miles in 24 hours. That's crazy. But, but I also crochet. I collect knives and swords and I nude model for life drawing. And I do life drawing. Do any of you all have any hobbies that look weird next to each other?

Starting point is 01:05:33 P.S. Don't worry about the title. I couldn't think of anything else. Just saying I'm fine. I'm OK. This is an amazing collection of hobbies. Can we hear the list again? Absolutely. I would I would love to. Riding motorbikes. Yes.

Starting point is 01:05:47 Crochet. Collecting knives and swords. Love that one. Nude model for life drawing and also doing the life drawing. So just like the, it's not just that, it's like a weird collection of hobbies. Because of my image of you, I changed every single one. Yeah, absolutely. Which I love.

Starting point is 01:06:03 Yeah, true. Suddenly you were nude. Yeah. Suddenly I was nude love. Yeah, true. Suddenly you were nude. Yeah. Suddenly I was nude, you were drawing me. And you were still nude. Okay. However, you need to do your art. I think, and I've said this for a couple of years now, but I don't have many hobbies.

Starting point is 01:06:16 I don't really think I have any hobbies and that's something I wanted to get back into a bit more. I suppose like photography in a very gentle way is a bit of a hobby of mine. That's right. Yeah. I do. I bought myself, like, a good camera a little while ago and tried to get a bit more into photography. But it's just, yeah, it didn't capture me as much. I have, like, a little- I have a flashback camera now, which is like a disposable camera,

Starting point is 01:06:42 but it's digital. It's not disposable. It's reusable. And it's really fun. It's so fun. It sounds, I think, a little bit wild out of context like that. When you describe it, people go, what, what is it? But when you experience the thing, it's awesome. It's really fun. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:54 So you take the 24 or whatever photos per quote unquote, roll. Yeah. And then at the end it downloads to your phone. Yep. I think it's really fun. And they look old school and nostalgic and they're very fun. I had a lot of fun taking photos on tour. Yes.

Starting point is 01:07:10 That was the best photos we have from the whole trip from that. It looks awesome. Yeah. So I guess so. And like video games in a way go through phases with that, but it's, yeah, I want to take up more hobbies, but I don't think any of them seem strange next to each other, you know, I collect magnets and I take photos. That's not, you know, those are things that I think kind of match.

Starting point is 01:07:30 Yeah, they're in a similar realm. Yeah. What would you say your hobbies are, Dave? For a while I've been talking about trying to get back into tennis, and that was my request for a Christmas present was a new tennis racket. Love that. And I have a suspicion that I will have got it by now. Okay. I think that I'm getting it. I hope so. There was a tennis-shaped, tennis racket-shaped package arrived.

Starting point is 01:07:51 It is a thing. Because yeah, of course, if your wife's buying that, it's got to arrive to your house. My husband still gets all of my presents delivered to my parents' house, and then he'll just make an excuse to leave the house for a bit, drives over to my parents to pick them up. I'm like, just get them delivered here. It's a box. I don't know what's in it. Is it always a full surprise? No, this time I literally said, hey, I'd like these shoes.

Starting point is 01:08:19 They're on sale right now. You can pick the color. So there's an element of surprise, but I know I'm getting shoes, or I got shoes. Do you think they're still going to your Mom and Dad's place? Probably. That's so funny. Every time. Yeah, so tennis is something I'd like to just do very, very casually.

Starting point is 01:08:34 I'm not going pro, basically. I don't think I can win women, and I have accepted that now. It's fun to have like- At 34. Yeah, a sport or a game or something active as a hobby. And then I've also, at the end of last year, started playing music again for the first time in 10 years, playing in my friend Tom's band, Long Legs.

Starting point is 01:08:49 So yeah, a bit of music, bit of tennis, but I don't know if that's a weird combo. It's just a combo that I had when I was 14. And now 20 years later, I'm like, I really enjoyed those. I'm going to do them again. Yeah, I think it's hard to start a new hobby completely from scratch. Yes.

Starting point is 01:09:01 I have done a couple of paint by numbers and that's always very funny because I never, I'm not a good drawer or like I can't paint or anything. But I do find it quite relaxing to just sit there and just sort of paint for a little bit. That's always kind of nice. But yeah, I would love to pick up a few new hobbies because same, I sort of go, I haven't played basketball for a couple of years. Maybe I'll play that again. But it's like, I've done that since I was seven. Why not try a new sport? Yes. Try something a bit different. Love all those hobbies.

Starting point is 01:09:27 Jordan. Yeah. Good on you. That's awesome. You sound like you're having a really nice time. Absolutely rules. Yeah. It seems like you're like living your life and that's great.

Starting point is 01:09:35 Thank you, Jordan. And thank you for reminding me to fucking get a new hobby. And finally, for our fact, quote and question this week, Broderick Henry with title dog. Well, you come to the right place. We love that. Find out. And Broderick, okay, dog has a question. And the question is bark, bark, bark.

Starting point is 01:09:58 Hello to wonderful looking people and one extremely cream my jeans person. Well, there's only two of us here. So we're both just wonderful looking. Okay. I have maybe a very specific question, but here it goes. At this point in your life, what is something you haven't done that most people think you have only because you love the reactions you get? Okay. I might need that one more time. At this point in your life,

Starting point is 01:10:22 what is something you haven't done that most people think you have only because you love the reactions you get? It does go on, so let's- Okay, sorry, sorry, I thought that was it, so apologize. Me? So I'm into a lot of fandoms, video games, comics, movies, TV, anime, D&D, the works. When a friend has a question about a fandom, I'm the one they go to because I most likely will have the answer and then some about it.

Starting point is 01:10:43 But there are two sets of trilogies I haven't seen, the Lord of the Rings movies and the first six Star Wars movies. At this point, as a 29 year old man, I don't only because I don't only because when I tell people I haven't their reaction to it warms my heart. It's even better because I'm not even lying. Um, it's even better when I tell people that I've seen Star Wars, episode seven to nine and the Hobbit movies, which are mostly not well received, and that gets them even more

Starting point is 01:11:09 upset and confused. Maybe in 30 years, I'll finally get around to watching them. But right now, this is getting me through my life. If you're not able to answer that, here's a second question. What'd you have for dinner yesterday? Ooh, I can probably think of that. I had a pesto pasta with broccoli and... We had a homemade pizza. Oh, I can probably think of that. I had a pesto pasta with broccoli and we had a homemade pizza. Oh, yeah. What's a pesto?

Starting point is 01:11:30 Love a pizza. Love pesto. Mm hmm. Yes. It's kind of the question is what's something that you haven't done or you haven't seen or like you that people are surprised maybe that you haven't done or haven't. Yeah. Like I was surprised you haven't been to Tasmania. Yes, I've been to every capital city we have in this country except Hobart.

Starting point is 01:11:49 Yeah, I was like, wow. I've been to all the states and territories. But you've also traveled overseas extensively. So it is always a surprise when it's like, that's a 45 minute flight and you haven't been. I'd love to, there's nothing against it. Or New Zealand, you haven't been to New Zealand, right? That's right, no.

Starting point is 01:12:04 Again, I'd love to. You've nothing against it. Or New Zealand. You haven't been to New Zealand, right? That's right. Again, I'd love to. You've gone very far, but not close. Yes. I hate islands. Yes. We're on one. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 01:12:13 Except for Japan, Cuba, the Bahamas, Iceland. And again, the island we live on. And Australia. Yeah, co-means island. But okay. But I'd love to go there. I'm similar in a sense. People, I guess, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New

Starting point is 01:12:21 Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New Zealand, I've been to New We live on. Yeah, and Australia. Yeah, co means island, but okay. I'd love to go there. I'm similar in a sense. People I guess I'm not as into fandoms, it's probably the lesser degree. I've never seen the Lord of the Rings movies and people get very surprised by that.

Starting point is 01:12:37 Because you look like a nerd. I think, or just because it was a cultural touchstone that everyone's seen. Have you seen that? I have. But only because my friend Liv in high school was obsessed. So, and she had, you know how like there's one friend in every group that had the house that everybody went to? Liv's house was the house. So she often got say in what we watched. So I've seen Lord of the Rings. Yeah, that's a good one. I don't know. I can't think of examples for me.

Starting point is 01:13:04 A thing that you say you haven't seen, people people like, what the? I can't believe. Back to the Future was one for you recently. I had seen it. Okay. But I hadn't watched it probably for 30 years or something. So I was rewatching. You know, people are always surprised that I'm not a pro surfer. Yeah, cause you're so bodacious. Yeah. My hair's always sort of beach waves. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:26 That I'm not a black belt. They're like, what? And I'm like, yeah, red, but not black. Yeah, people say, how much do you power lift? And I say, I've actually never power lifted. Yeah. And they go, what? That's unbelievable.

Starting point is 01:13:37 That's crazy. I actually can't believe that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't know if I do have an answer for that one. I'm glad I thought of one for Dave, but I did not think of one for me, but I did have pesto pasta for dinner.

Starting point is 01:13:50 So, I answered your question, dog. Nice dog. Thank you, Broderick. Thank you, Broderick, Jordan, Lauren and Nathan. Now, Dave, next thing we need to do, take it away. Not need to, but it's our privilege. Get to. Get to. Shout out the people that have been supporting the show on Patreon. If you're on for a few months these days, I think it's, I think that's about the

Starting point is 01:14:12 way. Maybe up to six months. We will shout you out live on an episode, which we're going to do now to nine lucky souls. Lucky things. Lucky things. And we usually come up with a bit of a game connected to the episode in some way. Yeah. So remember Jess, because this was a few weeks ago that we recorded this in Bristol. It was about a body of a gorilla that had been stuffed, Alfred, and then kidnapped.

Starting point is 01:14:36 So I'm thinking what animal did they kidnap? Okay. And what was that animal's name? Yes. So format, Alfred the gorilla, name, an animal. Perfect. How about that? I love it. Do you want to take turns? I'd love to. Do you want me to kick it off?

Starting point is 01:14:50 Please. I would like to thank, first of all, from Mount Waverley. Where I grew up. Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Maybe you know this person from Victoria and Mount Waverley. Like we said, it is Sophie Byrne. Sophie Byrne. Is that ringing any bells? Uh, no. Okay.

Starting point is 01:15:07 I'm sorry, Sophie, if we did go to school together. What school did you go to? Or have you moved to Matt Waverly more recently? Wow. We'll never know. We'll never know. But Sophie- You can't answer me.

Starting point is 01:15:19 Has stolen a zebra named Gerald- So it's Gerald the Zebra. Gerald the Zebra. That's the format, Dave. Okay. Okay. Ah, so Sophie has taken, stolen a zebra called Gerald, comma Gerald the zebra. You're so annoying.

Starting point is 01:15:33 And that's a, that's how you do it. Thank you, Sophie. Uh, I would like to thank from Bagara in Queensland. I didn't hear that. Bagara? Bagara? Bagara. Barjara. of Bagara. Bagara? Bagara.

Starting point is 01:15:46 I would love to thank Dimity Commino. What a name. What a combo of names. What a combo of names. Dimity kidnapped Gregory the parakeet. Gregory the parakeet?

Starting point is 01:16:02 Yep. Wow. It was hard to kidnap a bird. You have to sort of lure it over. No, you just grab their legs. Oh. Pretty easy. Sure, they can flap their wings, but like I'm holding. Hey, I've got your legs now.

Starting point is 01:16:13 I've got your legs. Got your legs. Yeah, people. Say that to babies. Got your nose. No, I got your legs. Thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:16:21 From McLeod here in Victoria near La Trobe University where I went to university. We're going to try and tie ourselves to all this people. Of course. From McLeod it's Ashlyn Prendergast. Oh. I like that name. Ashlyn Prendergast. Who's that?

Starting point is 01:16:35 Who has stolen, they have stolen. They've kidnapped. Oh, kidnapped Jemima the rhinoceros. Whoa. Jemima is such a cute name for such a big animal. Yeah. Good combo. That's great.

Starting point is 01:16:50 And hard to kidnap. Yeah. You've got to be a pro kidnapper. You've got to have a truck for that. Yeah. Probably a pretty big one. Yeah. You know, not just like a little, you know, rental truck you do to move house on a weekend.

Starting point is 01:16:59 Possibly a road train. Yeah. Whoa. Thank you. And also from Dallas, Texas, Caitlin Everhart. Are you kidding me? What's happening with these names? Gorgeous stuff.

Starting point is 01:17:13 Caitlin obviously and famously kidnapped Henrietta the alligator. Oh, wow. Again, cutesy name for someone thinking with quite sharp teeth. Yes. Love Henrietta the alligator. The alligator's not as big as crocodiles, not as big as our crocs, okay? Not the salties. The problem is we went and did like a swamp tour in New Orleans and saw alligators, but

Starting point is 01:17:38 a year earlier we were up in Cairns in Far North Queensland and saw crocs that are very big. Yeah. Alligators look teeny tiny in comparison. You're kind of like, great, where are the big ones? These are the babies. I was like, I jump in for a swim. Yeah, this is nothing. What are you talking about?

Starting point is 01:17:53 Oh no, it's got my little toe. Like, whatever. Not my toe. That's not going to death roll me. I'll death roll it. Yeah. Show it to his boss. I'm king of the swamp.

Starting point is 01:18:04 That's why I kept yelling. Alright, from Washington DC, I would like to thank Alex. Alex. Alex. Thank you so much Alex. Who has stolen? Kidnapped. Just being pedantic for fun.

Starting point is 01:18:21 Philip. Philip. The butterfly. Whoa! That's kind of easy. Put it under your hat. Yeah, but it's a giant fun. Philip. Philip. The butterfly. Whoa. That's kind of easy. Put it under your hat. Yeah. But it's a giant butterfly.

Starting point is 01:18:29 Okay. Put it under a big hat. Yeah. Good one. Just cop that, Philip. You just don't think like a crook, Dave, like I do. No, I'm too straighty 180. You're a good boy.

Starting point is 01:18:39 From Washington, DC, we now go to Seattle, Washington. What? And thank Patrick. Patrick. Patrick, of course, has kidnapped Patrick. The. Sea. Sea snake. Do you want a little clue there?

Starting point is 01:19:06 Patrick the starfish. Patrick the starfish. Patrick the starfish. Spongebok. From SpongeBob SquarePants. He's cute. Patrick. Patrick star. Patrick the starfish. Love that. Huge. I would like to thank from location that is unknown to us.

Starting point is 01:19:24 Which only seems deeper than the fortress of the moles. And thank you to Ben Dobbs, Ben Dobbs, who has kidnapped, who has kidnapped Russell the crow. That's a good one. No, it's not. Right now, Russell the crow. What were you going to say? And we'll choose the best one.

Starting point is 01:19:41 I think I was going to say Russell the Jack Russell. That's pretty good too say Russell or Jack Russell. That's pretty good too. Go with Jack Russell. That's funny. Well, it could be both. Could be both. What if he's getting a collection of stolen or kidnapped Russells?

Starting point is 01:19:54 Yeah. There's a crow, there's Jack Russell. Yep. He's got the whole set. I would like to thank as well from the Blue Mountains in New South Wales, Zach Forbes. Zach Forbes. Zach Forbes kidnapped Felicia the Flamingo. Oh, great name for a flamingo.

Starting point is 01:20:16 Nice. Felicia. Felicia the Flamingo. Yeah, a bit of alliteration there. That's really, really nice. We love it. All right, finally from us this week, I would would like to thank from Newport in the greatest of Britain's it's Katrine or Katrine Williams

Starting point is 01:20:31 Who has stolen Name first of all. Yes is Christina, uh-huh the giant well Tortoise whoa Again, you need a truck for that. They are they're trying to like big they are big but they are slow Giant. Whoa. Tortoise. Whoa. Again, you need a truck for that.

Starting point is 01:20:46 They are quite big. They are big, but they are slow. Yes. Oh, you know, easy to get them. Yeah. But they're heavy and big. So, yeah, you need, you need a pro. You can't just put that in the back of your Corolla, you know?

Starting point is 01:20:57 No, you can't put Christine in the back of your Corolla. You gotta think about that. Yeah. Yeah. You still, you still parricate, chuck it in the back of your car. Whatever. Who cares? Giant tortoise, that takes some planning. That takes a lot of planning. Yeah. Yeah. You still, you still parakeet chuck it in the back of your car. Whatever. Who cares? Giant tortoise that takes some planning. That takes a lot of planning. Huge. Thank you so much again to Katrine, Zach, Ben, Patrick, Alex, Caitlin, Ashlyn,

Starting point is 01:21:13 Dimity and Sophie. And Dave, final thing we need to do is welcome people into the Triptych Club. Now this is for people who support us at dogoonpod.com. Nope, at patreon.com slash dogoonpod. That's right. For three consecutive years. They have been, they've been here for a long time and we appreciate them and we love them. And there's a few to welcome in this week, Dave. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Really? Oh my goodness. Eight that we're welcoming in. And so I- These people have all been supporting us for three years. Thank you so much this week.

Starting point is 01:21:48 I'm giving you that heads up because for people joining us for the first time, Dave, he's up on stage. He welcomes you in to the Tripditch Club, which is like a cool members only club. It's got everything you could ever want. Live entertainment, coolest people, games, activities, bathrooms, just mentioning that we've got. Yeah, we've got that. Do you have showers as well?

Starting point is 01:22:09 Yeah. Do we have tubs? Yeah. I mean, we have Matt Stewart. Of course we have a tub. Yeah, we need a tub. We probably actually have a spa section. I forgot about that.

Starting point is 01:22:17 Yeah, we've just opened the day spa. Yeah, it's lovely. Smells good. I haven't been in yet myself, but I can, every time I walk past someone I've got to go, this smells fantastic. Honestly, I think the part I like the most about, I had a voucher to go get a massage or facial. And so I went and did that earlier this week. As you can tell, I'm glowing.

Starting point is 01:22:33 And I think my favorite part of it is just lying in a quiet, dark room because it smells really nice. Like I don't really care what they're doing. That's going to sound really weird. I don't get what they're doing to my body. Hey. Whatever. Okay.

Starting point is 01:22:49 Yeah. You do a gentle massage, do a firm massage. I don't care what you're putting on my face. I'm just having a nice lie down in a nice smelling room. Love it. So yeah, you can do that. I'm behind the bar. So I've got gorilla meat.

Starting point is 01:23:05 Okay. I didn't know how to dance around it. I had ordered some just normal everyday meat. Yep. And the butcher, he did not come through with that. He did offer gorilla meat. I thought that is import taste given the topic, but I have a lot of people to feed. So there are gorilla tacos.

Starting point is 01:23:30 I mean, they would make a great taco. It'd make a great taco. I don't feel good about this ethically as a vegetarian, but it's what I have. But as a chef. As a chef. Hey, you just cook with what you've got. I got to feed people. What's in front of you?

Starting point is 01:23:42 Okay. Also everything else I've ever offered in the triptych club is available. Yeah, if you don't want the grilled taco. It's quite an extensive menu. Like I think it's honestly, if you came in not knowing what the triptych club was, A, you wouldn't be there because you can't get in. You can't get in. But B, you'd go, poor, it's one of those places that's trying to do too many things.

Starting point is 01:24:00 Yeah, that's right. Okay, you do curries, fish and chips and soup. Yeah, and you do them all well. Okay. Okay. Also, you do Asian fusion and also pub classics and pizzas. Okay. Interesting.

Starting point is 01:24:13 Yeah. Okay. But anyway, so, Dave, you also- And you do gorilla tacos. Hey, I book a band. You're never going to believe it this week. I've actually had a band pull out. What?

Starting point is 01:24:23 What are we doing? Yeah, I actually, I really wanted the classic, the classic English band, Blurr, to come along. Yeah. Uh, but unfortunately, one of the band members now makes cheese, I believe. They were together, but I think they split up again recently, or they're on I Hate Us. So, Damon Orban- They're on I Hate Us? Yeah, they're on I Hate Us.

Starting point is 01:24:41 And, um, singer of the band Damon Orban got, got in contact and said, look, I'm sorry, but I was going to have to pull out. But would you be interested in having my other band, Gorillaz, play? And I said, obviously it's not quite as good. I did not know that Gorillaz and Blur shared members. It's the same, same singer. So that's why I said- That's crazy.

Starting point is 01:25:04 All right, I'll take you but obviously We're gonna have to get a discount on this. Absolutely such short notice such short notice. You sign a contract when you come to play at the Trippridge Club. Absolutely. I've got several lawyers working with me. So please welcome to the Stages Gorillaz. Whoa Whoa I guess I guess I guess they've got some amazing songs. Just put up with it guys I guess they put on a famously good live show with many members. Whatever. We'll have someone better next week. Am I sorry about this? So what we'll do then, I will play the role of Matt.

Starting point is 01:25:30 I've got the clipboard here. I'll read the names. I'll lift the velvet rope. I'll welcome you in. Everybody will be cheering, whooping. Dave hypes you up with some incredible wordplay. Thank you. Finally is being said properly.

Starting point is 01:25:43 And I hype Dave up with love. Thank you. Because people say, God, Jess, she's a miserable bitch, isn't she? No. Only 10% of the population say that. That, I'd be okay with that actually. That's pretty good ratio. That's pretty good. 90% of people? If 90% are like, she seems nice. Well, I didn't say that. The 10% say miserable bitch. Yeah, I'm actually still okay with it. Anyway, but I love Dave with a passion and I love to hype him up. So here we go. From Carlisle in Illinois in the US, it's Nikita Pruitt.

Starting point is 01:26:17 Who knew it was Nikita Pruitt? We knew it and they ain't going to blow it. Okay, you ruined it? Oh, did I? Yeah. From Brunswick West here in you ruined it? Oh did I? Ah. From Brunswick West here in Victoria, it's Jessica Hewitzen. Who knew it's in with Jessica Hewitzen? Can I do it with all of them do you reckon?

Starting point is 01:26:32 Let's find out. From Manhattan, but in Kansas, it's Aubrey Gaunt. Who's behind the taunt with Aubrey Gaunt? Okay. From Falkenberg in... I think it's Sweden. Yeah, it's Sweden. It's Isaac Tja Dorsen.

Starting point is 01:26:51 Who's behind the attack with Isaac? Yes. Can we get something for Tja Dorsen? Sure. Can we? Whose favourite... Whose favourite... I'm here with you.

Starting point is 01:27:06 You're okay. We can edit out the silences. Well, we have to edit out 30 minutes there. We put it into a generator there to solve this. Whose favorite is Dawson? I adore. With Isaac to your Dawson. And they talk about who their favorite Dawson's Creek character is. Love it. Mine's Paisie.

Starting point is 01:27:24 From San Ramon in California, it's George Pasco. Who's been eating Tabasco with George Pasco? From Address Unknown, Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, it's James. Who's Lame's with James? It's just James's list of people that they think are lame. Who's on the lame list this week? It's a short podcast, but it is gripping. This week's lame list.

Starting point is 01:27:49 From Pensacola, Florida, it's Anthony Brown. Who's hometown with Anthony Brown? I take you back to your hometown. That's fantastic. And from Greenville, South Carolina, it's Edward Duffy. Who's nosistuffy with Edward Duffy? Edward has chronic sinus issues. But he's trying to find a cure.

Starting point is 01:28:08 Going through different remedies. Beautiful stuff. Ah, welcome in Edward, Anthony, James, George, Isaac, Aubrey, Jessica and Nikita. Please grab a drink or a taco if you want. No judgment. Use the bathrooms, book a massage and relax and mingle. You can't leave ever, but why would you want to? We have everything you need.

Starting point is 01:28:31 It's amazing in there. It's so great. We have like a co-working space for people who want to keep up their jobs. Yeah, if you want to get your shit done, you can do it. But I don't really see why because we feed you and there's a toilet and what more is there? Exactly. What is this, prison?

Starting point is 01:28:44 High-speed Wi-Fi if you want to talk to your family, I guess. Yeah, I guess. I don't know why you would. Well, they can wave at you through the fence. That's nice. Yeah. Whatever. But we're your family now. We're your family now.

Starting point is 01:28:55 So thank you so much for joining us for yet another fantastic episode of Do Go On. If I may say so myself, as one of the hosts of Do Go On. We'll be back next week. Look, what I will say is you can suggest a topic if you want to. You don't have to be a Patreon. You don't have to pay a cent to suggest a topic. No. There's a link in our show notes and it's also on our website, which is dogoonpod.com and you can find us on social media at dogoonpod or dogoonpodcast on TikTok. Dave, boot this baby home.

Starting point is 01:29:23 Until next week, we will say thank you so much for listening and until then, it's goodbye. Later, bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester.

Starting point is 01:29:42 We were just in Manchester. This way you'll never, you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree, very, very easy. It means we know to come to you, and you also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, you will come to you, you come to us. Very good.

Starting point is 01:29:57 And we give you a spam-free guarantee.

Do Go On - 483 - The Kidnapping of Alfred The Gorilla

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