Do Go On - 488 - The Tichborne Case

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

In the mid 1800s, a young heir tragically disappeared at sea. But then, miraculously, he turned up in regional Australia! (But he no longer had a French accent... or spoke any French... and he looked a bit different)This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07.29 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.sl.nsw.gov.au/stories/tichborne-case-victorian-melodramahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tichborne_casehttps://www.cantab.net/users/michael.behrend/repubs/cornhill_tichborne/pages/index.htmlThe Tichborne Claimant: A Victorian Mystery, 1957McWilliam, Rohan (2007). The Tichborne Claimant: A Victorian Sensation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dev Warnikey and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. That's right. We're here.

It's so good to be here. It's so good to be alive. Look, I shouldn't say that. I'll pose it as a question. How good is it to be alive? Well, you just said yourself so good to be alive. Yeah. No, I was doing it like a Jeopardy style.

Oh, great. Sorry. I don't understand that show. I haven't seen it. You've never seen Jeopardy. No, but I hope Alex Trebek is. doing well. Yep, Alex and Queen Lizzie.

And who hosted the Australian Jeopardy? Probably Terps. Probably Terps. Terps's Burjo? Oh, it could have been Burjo. Yeah. Baby John. Now, Jess, we're not here to talk about retired game show hosts.

We're here to talk about, well, maybe we are. Retired is a kind term. We don't know what you're going to be talking about. But please explain what the show is. So I have to explain the show and then do the show. Yeah, well, because I didn't want him to do it. I just do it. No, I've got it.

So one of the three of us, research is a topic, often suggested by our listeners. We bring it to the other two who don't know what we're going to talk about. And they politely listen and every now and then go, wow, that's very interesting and well researched. And that's about the only interruption you get. We should just have a button that you press for our voices. Yeah. Wow, incredibly well researched. Wow, that was very interesting.

Then we wouldn't have to all get together to record a podcast. Yeah, we just do a solo once every three weeks. Yeah. I imagine some listeners assume that's how we do it. Like, you only interject with, wow, that's really interesting and well research. Or what about, ha ha, what a funny name. Yeah, that's a good one. A good year.

Like, just get that clean and it can, you can check that in wherever you like. Yeah, okay. And yeah, you could get that from Matt. Oh, oh, what? Oh, what? Sorry, what I missed this. What year is this? What's going on?

Sorry. Wait, is this the guy from before? No, different guy. Oh, you can get that. There's a second guy? Yeah. Yeah, shit, we should probably look into that, just in terms of efficiency.

Anyway, we always get onto the topic with a question. I have a two-parter for you today. Well, is it two points off of grabs me thing? Sure. Great. Number one. Holy fantastic game show host, Jess Bill comes. I guess.

Alex Trebek never said that. That's why you're the host whenever we do game show type things, okay? Thank you for letting me live out my little childhood dream. And I sit there and I bully you. And that's my childhood dream. All right, two-part. This is to put these two together. We get the name of today's subject, okay?

Okay. Number one, something you might find on a dog, not fleas. Leash. No. Collar. No. In the same world as fleas, but it's not fleas. Or you might find it on its skin.

Tick! Very good. One point to Matt. Ringworm. No, I've already given about the point. Is this about ringworm, John? And part two. Tick, tick.

Any guesses early on, Matt? Tick. Is it Tick, the TV show slash comic? No. The Nike Tick slash swoosh. The swoosh. Have we done that? Have I watched the documentary about it?

TikTok, the history of it? It's not the history of TikTok. Oh, it's the history of clocks. Yes. Wow. Okay, sorry. Second question. Part two.

Surname of Matt Damon's character in an action thriller franchise. Born. Two points for Matt Stewart. Tick-Born is the name. The tick-borne case? The tick-borne case. I've seen this in the hat. I wasn't sure if it was tick-borne or tich-born or tich-born.

I'm not really sure either, but I'm going to say Tick-Born. I thought that you might have gone to the... Welcome. You know what, I didn't. Hey, that's fine. Should I... I'm just going to have a little look. See if he's got it.

Was he Manuel? Manuel? I'll just pull up any kind of... Welcome. Titchborn. Yeah, I trust this guy. Okay. So...

Softly spoken English. So I'm not sure what people at home have heard there, but we did spend an hour and a half watching different YouTube videos to find out how to say it. And Jess, the verdict is... It's probably Titchborn, but how could I have given you a clue on Titch, you know? Yeah, that's good. Titch, there's a little kid with a kite.

That's that book, Titch, do you remember? Or spinning wheel? Is that Titch or Tish? Let's go to the YouTube video. All right, an hour and a half later, we couldn't find it. Dave, misremembered. Sorry, but I'm excited about this. So it's probably Tishbourne.

Titchbourne. I might say Tick-Born at various points because that's what I've been saying in my head as I've been writing this. But you'll know who I'm talking about. Plus, the main character today is going to be referred to by a bunch of different names. You're covered there. It's fine. So this has been suggested by a lot of people. Hence, Dave has seen it in our suggestion hat, which, by the way, you don't have to be a Patreon or like pay anything to suggest a topic.

If you've come across a YouTube video that you think, that's interesting. or an article or just a story you know from your area or not from your area, whatever, you can put it in the hat and we might get to it. One of these people, and I forgot to point them out, cheated, and I'd already put this up for the vote and they then said, I'm putting this in because I've meant to for a while, but Jess just put it up for the vote. And they said, I'm cheating here, but I say it's fair game. They didn't know it won. That's cheating.

That's cheating. Anyway, so it's been suggested by Kim Hill from Wollongong. Is that the cheat? No. Okay. I'll give you a wink. We won't say it on Popper. Okay.

I'll give you a wink. Okay. Not Kim. Grant Cheese Wright from Aberdeen Shire. Cheat? Not cheat. Okay. Nick from Kent, not the cheat.

Tim Randall from Brisbane. Sam Holmes from London. Josh from Newark in the UK. Marissa Stroud from Canada. Oh my God. Oh, not Stroud. You know where she's from? Canada.

She's from Stroud. Yeah. And that was a coincidence. I asked her. because she's sent in a few questions for who knew it with Mert Stewart. And I said, oh, is it named after a family member? She's like, I didn't even know that was what the area was called until after I moved in. Wow.

Amazing. Wow. Amazing stuff. Amazing. I told that story on ABC Radio. Wow. But I forgot her name was Stroud. I said a different name.

You know, the story still played. Marissa London. And she moves her to live in all it was called. She never. Shit. So hang on, it's also been suggested by Pete Holbleton from Melbourne and Jamie Alcantara from London. You know Pete's nickname is the silly odd missile man because he works at Naysa? Wow.

Is that right? Mesa. You are saying that correctly. Yep. Incredible. And thank you so much for those people suggesting it. Yeah. It's a fun story.

So have you ever, do you know anything about it at all? I can't remember if I know. Yeah. Because there's a couple of these, I don't want to say anything because I'll give it away. There's two things that I'm thinking of that maybe I've looked into briefly for a vote or something. Yeah, it's just one of those quick cursory looks here. So, is there enough information on this? Yeah, I probably looked at the pitch and went, geez, that's all right.

Yeah. Because people describe the topic to us. The titch pitch. The titch pitch, yes. So, a bit of background, firstly, on the Titchborns of Titchbourne Park. Wait, they're named Titchbourne and they live in Titchbourne Park? Yeah. Did they know?

Crazy. That's an unheard of anecdote. Call up the ABC right now. They were an old English Catholic family who'd been prominent in the area for centuries. They gained the baronet title in 1621 with Benjamin Titchbourne, who was given the title for services to King James I. So several generations later, we have James Titchbourne. So James and his father Henry had been detained together in France in the early 1811. as they happened to be traveling through France when the Napoleonic wars were reignited

and they were now enemy citizens. That's unlucky. That's unlucky. Bad timing. Yeah, if you're just like basically on a holiday. Yeah. And then like your country is declared war upon. Yeah.

Oh, why? Come on. Just let me. I'll just go home. I'll leave. I understand you don't want me here. Yeah. I'll just go back.

I'll go back and I'll tell him to knock it off. I'll say, oy. Aye. Hey, Napoleon's all right. Cut it out. He's pretty good. That's enough. I'll say.

Yeah. And they'll listen. They will listen to me. I've been a baronet for centuries. I'm a titch born. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so they became, while they're in prison,

they became chummy with another English nobleman, Henry Seymour of Noil. That's good stuff. Seymour somehow managed to conduct an affair while imprisoned, and that affair resulted in his daughter, Henriette, being born in 1807. I'm bringing in a lot of names, but this family has a lot of,

like messy drama and it's fun. Okay. I'll let you know when you really need to remember someone. An affair in prison is pretty impressive. Yeah, I know. How do you do that? Through the bars or something? Yeah, must do.

That's hard. Yeah. That's kind of hard. I was like, at first time, how hard could it be? You know, they share people share cells. But yeah, to have a child, it's normally, they normally split up the sexes. That's right. I'm not sure why you said it like that.

Splitting up the sexes. If you know what I mean. You can't say the word sexes. in any context without that voice. Matt, just say the word sex. It's disturbing. Sex. Okay.

We'll work on this off pod. Actually, I won't. Yeah, let's never bring it up again. Nah, that's good. That's for a therapist, not for me. So 20 years later, Henriette was embarrassingly unmarried. At 20, disgusting. It's over.

And so her father, Henry, thought his old prison pal, James, might make for a good husband for his daughter. This is from Wikipedia. Although James was close to his own age and was physically. un-pre-possessing. He, ugly. Wow, an ugly old man. So you're thinking, fuck, my daughter's unmarried, yuck, embarrassing. And even more embarrassing.

Who do I know? Who do I know? Oh, that guy that was a little bit younger than me, but close to my age, from prison when Henriette was born. Oh, ugly, Phil. Yeah. And also, it's your unmarried daughter named after yourself. Is that right, Henriette named after Henry?

Yeah. I mean, come on, that's a woman. blood on the family's reputation. I've staked everything on this girl and she can't even get married. Okay. Well, we all know you've named your daughter, Davina. It's a beautiful name. It was a coincidence. I didn't even make the connection until just now, actually. Hang on, that's quite similar to my name. So yeah, he's 23 years her senior and an Argo. Nevertheless, the couple were married in August 1827 and had their first son, Roger, a couple of years later in 1829. Rodgers who you need to remember. Okay, well, it makes sense. That's how he was created

as well. So it's weird that more kids aren't named Roger. Yeah. We've named you after how we major. Well, because a lot of people, a lot of people, we'll name their kids after where the kid was conceived. Yes. But yeah, not enough about how. That's why I called my daughter, Davina. Doggy. Middle name penetration. She was Davina because she was conceived in my house.

Yeah, by divine intervention. But it's a middle name, just a tribute there. Nobody uses a middle name. But if she wants to go buy penny or something that she's older, she can. That's funny stuff. So she never listens to this. So she's married, she's got Roger, and Roger's not a Titchbourne. Is that right?

He is a Titchborn. He is a Titchborn. Yes, this is James Titchbourne. Oh, okay. Who has married Henriette. Okay. And they've had Roger Titchbourne. All right.

And the father was of Noil. Is that right? Why is Noil so funny? The grandfather, yeah. I don't know why, but Noil's very funny. Noil. Noil, and it's like, K-N-O-Y-L-E. Noil.

I'm heir to the Noil fortune. Sorry, and the oil fortune? Oh, no. Noil. Well, he's named Seymour. Seymour of Noil, so noil must be a place. Seymour Noel. I've seen enough.

Anyway, so yes, Roger Titchbourne is the main subject of today's report, but I just liked a little bit of that family background. After Roger's birth, James and Henriette had three more children, two daughters who died in infancy, and a second son, Alfred, born in 1839. The marriage was unhappy and the couple spent much of their time apart. Because he's so ugly. He in England and she in Paris. You've got to get to a beautiful place. She has to look at him via a telescope. Yeah, to avoid that, I'll go.

So she had Roger with her in Paris. As a consequence of his upbringing, Roger spoke mainly French and his English was heavily accented. Now, that seems like a weird thing for me to mention, but maybe keep it in mind. In 1845, James decided that Roger should complete his education in England and placed him in the Jesuit boarding school, Stonyhurst College, where he remained until 1848. In 1849, he sat the British Army entrance exam and then took a commission in the sixth dragoon guards. Love a dragoon guards. Now, that's probably what we should have called our Dungeons. Oh, on, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. On. Yes, that's it. Now, I think I got it now. We got it. He served in that battalion for three years, mainly in Ireland. You would have loved that.

Being three years in Ireland. What a posting. Yeah. And being in their military. Yeah, you love that. Perfect for me. I won't go. There's a bit of like complicated family history here.

basically because some men in the family only had daughters, James was next in line for the baronetcy, and after him, Roger. So from Wikipedia, when on leave, Roger often stayed with his uncle Edward at Titchbourne Park and became attracted to his cousin Catherine Doherty, four years his junior. So Edward and his wife, though they were fond of their nephew,

did not consider marriage between first cousins desirable. At one point, the young couple were forbidden to meet, though they continued to do so, clandestinely. Oh my God, if they meet, we know what will happen. Don't let them meet. They will definitely fall in love. Feeling harassed and frustrated, Roger hoped to escape from the situation through a spell of overseas military duty. When it became clear that the regiment would remain in the British Isles, he resigned his commission. So, Catherine Doherty will come up again later as well. But I do like that, because back then it feels like marrying your cousin,

normal. But they were like, no, dude, that's weird. Right. Leave her alone. Yeah. Please. Stop it. So he won't get to trouble for work. He decides to just have a gap year and do it privately. So on the 21st of March, 1853, 24-year-old Roger Titchbourne set sail on board La Pauline bound for South America.

Three months later, they reached Chile. He spent a little less than a year in South America, I think around 10 months. He took a hunting trip in Peru. He crossed the Andes. By the end of January 1854, he had reached Buonisaries. He wrote to his aunt, Lady Doherty, who I think he also wished was his mother-in-law if they weren't such prudes. And he told her he planned to head for Brazil, then Jamaica, and finally Mexico. That's an incredible gap year.

What a trip, right? Wow. In April, he left Rio on board the Bella and set sail for Jamaica. But... Yes. Whoa. Only a few days later, a capsized ship. bearing the name Bella was discovered off the Brazilian coast.

No survivors were found, nor were there any remains. The Titchbourne family were told in June that Roger must be presumed dead. Whoa. Sir James Titchbourne died in June of 1862, at which point if he was alive, Roger would have become the 11th Baronet. The title instead passed to his younger brother Alfred, whose financial recklessness rapidly brought about his near bankruptcy. The family had to move out.

of Titchbourne Park and rent it out to tenants. Oh no. Alfred. Is this the origin of Batman's butler? Yes. Oh my God. But we'll have to edit that out because that's a huge spoiler. Okay, I'm sorry about that.

So he started out being wealthy himself and had to work his way up. Yes. As a butler. As a butler. It's like an 85 year old butler. He had to work his way up as an 85 year old butler. It's a classic way. He started that job at 50.

Yeah. He got the job of an 85 year old butler. Pull you stuff up by your bootstrap. That's classic stuff. Start as a butler. Yeah. End up a billion. That's right. Exactly. Work hard. Billionaires are the hardest work as we all know that. We all know that. Okay, I won't hear another word about it. Yes. We don't think we should be killing them. No way. Just because we just mentioned France and lopping off heads. Did you mention that? Well, that's always implied.

Yeah, yeah. When you mentioned Paris, you think lopping off heads. Yeah. But I don't think we should be doing that. No. In fact, I would go as far as saying, don't do that. If you're about, to don't do it. Stop it. I was going to say cut it out and that's, that's misleading. Yeah. No, I think that's good. Yeah, cut it out. Yeah, there's plausible deniability there. Cut it out. Every time there's a pause, it's a wink. Oh, Dave. So I'm just saying what I'm saying what I'm seeing. Okay, well. Well, we were doing very, very subtle winks that the camera will barely even perceive. Did you want to have a go? Oh, that's a double wink. They call that a blink That's a plausible deniability

Dave, can you wink? Yeah, what's this? Yeah, probably the third best winker in the room right now. Really? Top three. The top three, I'd say that's about right. That's actually really impressive.

You know who does a great, subtle wink? Sir Ian McKellen. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch one of the Lord of the Rings the other day. I was like, bloody hell, that was a nice subtle wink. I reckon I've got to have 10,000 guesses and I wouldn't have guessed that.

That's a you're about to say. My first guess was, your dog goose? Oh, no, he's not subtle little all. Jess is always bringing up that dog. I love my dog. That dog Ian McKellen. Oh, that would have been a better name. Sir Ian McKellon.

Yeah. This is Sir Ian. One of my favourite ever TikToks is about a small dog whose name is stuntman Mike. Oh, that's really good. And he's the best. Wouldn't you, you'd call him Sir Ian McWoffens or something, wouldn't you? No. Sir Ian McKellen.

That's the kind of thing you would do. Yeah. Dog people. Dog people. One of they. I was trying to, I was trying to build a little. little bit of tension. Oh yeah. Yeah, so Alfred's gambled it all the way.

Alfred's gambled it away. Roger's dead. But if Roger was alive, Alfred would be usurped, is that correct? Yes. Oh my God. Because the family held on to a slither of hope, having heard rumors that another ship had picked up survivors of the Bella. And that ship was heading

for Australia. What? That's where we are. That's us! Oh my gosh! Did you pick this topic because it mentions Australia and we know you love being mentioned. I love being mentioned. You'll never guess where the Bella specifically was going. Oh my gosh.

But let's just say, Laneways. Oh my gosh. Art capital. Whoa. Sydney. Sydney. That's amazing.

Sydney's the Art. Sydney is not the Art Capital. How? Have they got NGV? They've got an opera house. What's artier than opera? That's one type of art. And they've got like the Sydney gallery probably.

Well, why don't even fucking marry Sydney then? Yeah. Why do you live? It's too expensive. I can't afford a dairy. You wouldn't believe how many cows they want. Sydney's dad wants. Sidney's dad.

Who would Sydney's dad be? Brisbane? Yeah. Just in terms of further north, but that doesn't make sense. Is that what dads are? Just further north to you? I was assuming England. Ah, yeah.

So that's the mother country. Who did? England married to make Sydney. And that's how you make babies by marriage. Yeah. You sound the way. Anyway, so after her husband's death and nine years after her son's disappearance and presumed death, Roger's mother, Henriette, who was now Lady Titchbourne, felt encouraged by a clairvoyance

assurance that her elder son was alive and well. Whoa. She'd always, like they'd heard that a ship had picked up survivors and taken them to Australia, and they'd kind of held on to hope that maybe Roger was amongst them, but then this clairvoyant was like, yeah, he's alive. He's doing really well. Wow, clairvoyants are powerful as well. That's right.

Is this back in the time, there was a period where spiritualism and stuff was so big and like proper people, like not, now you'd be like, oh, yeah, they believe in that sort of stuff, but then they were like, you know, kind of mainstream. Maybe it'll just come back around in a circle. Yeah. For a little while we go like, oh, yeah, these. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you went and saw your psychic, did you? Okay. But that'll come back around.

I hope it does. We'll be like, the Pope, whatever. What does Gertrude say is going to happen? Yes. Gertrude's the best name I could think of. Because currently we all go, if the Pope says it, we are on board. Correct. Yeah. So she began placing regular newspaper ads in the Times, offering a reward for information about Roger Titchbourne and the fate of the Bella. Unfortunately, these weren't very successful. But in 1865, of Lady Titchbourne saw an ad placed by Arthur Cubbit of Sydney, Australia,

on behalf of his Missing Friends Agency. She wrote to him and he agreed to place a series of notices in Australia newspapers. So I guess she's putting them in English newspapers, but you think he's in Australia. Oh, of course. So I'm not sure how they're going to get that information. And then in Australia, there's someone running something called the Missing Friends Agency. Yeah.

Wow. So it's obviously because it's harder back then to contact people. Well, that's right. Yeah, you just put a photo out and be like, hey, do you know this person? Yeah, I don't. Yeah, exactly. You know how I... Here we go.

We've lost him for the last few minutes, but I'm sure he's found something fun. When you said The Bella and I'm like, this is starting to sound vaguely familiar, I did, you know, I used to do, or I do sleep shows for Hatch. Yeah, I did this story. I don't remember anything about it. Apart from The Bella. I'm like, The Bella, I just looked it up. I did it. I don't remember how this goes.

I didn't recognise the name. Looking it up, I'm like, I must have called it something different. No, I called the episode The Titchmorn case. That's incredible. I have no, because I was doing like four episodes of that show a week. So, it's a bit of a blur. But I just want to put this on the record for the people who email me and say, I think you might actually have something wrong with your memory.

You know, it's actually when you're consuming a lot of this stuff, you have to make room. Yeah. I'm like, I was like, I must have focused on a different character and this was a side story. Yeah, this was the whole story. But I still don't remember it. Yeah, the Bella is what. The Bella is not, and that's not even the most amazing or like really noteworthy. I don't know why, yeah.

I wonder if you said tick-borne or titch-borne. I almost definitely said whatever it is phonetically. Yeah, it's titch. There's, um, obviously it's a sleep podcast, but were you recording it whilst you're asleep as well? I go full method, yeah He's very good This is how I want you to feel Bella

Shit or something The guy goes Australia That's okay That was worth it That was worth it I was worth it I'm like I'm like

I'm really glad I'm very glad it was for your Sleep podcast And not this podcast Yeah I don't know Oh my God We're all sitting you going

Because let's not forget That I think it was While I was putting this up For the vote I had to message you guys and be like, this story's vaguely familiar. Have we done this topic? Not this specific one, a different one I was about to put up for the vote.

And Dave's like, yes, I've done that. Yeah, right. It was a bonus about nine years ago or something. Like, it was a long time ago. An early on bonus, but it was a, online story. A similar thing on who knew it, I've reused the question without knowing. And someone's like, oh, you did this episode on another episode. I'm like, oh, no, that might start to happen.

I'm going to really search my documents for every question. Yeah. Anyway, so she's placing ads, well, he's placing ads in Australian newspapers on her behalf. I have one of them here. It's from the Sydney Morning Herald in July of 1865. So it says, A handsome reward shall be given to any person who can furnish such information as will discover the fate of Roger Charles Titchbourne. He sailed from the port of Rio, Rio Ginoero. No D back then. On the 20th of April, 1854 in the ship La Bella and has never been heard of since. But a report reached in New York, Rio Gino, no, D back then. Oh. On the 20th of April, 1854 in the ship La Bella and has never been heard of since. But a report reached England to the effect that a portion of the crew and passengers of a vessel of that name were picked up by a vessel bound to Australia. Melbourne, it is believed.

That's where we are! The art capital? Sydney's little brother. Two-thirds of us were born here. Whoa. And Matt just outside. Just outside. Pretty close, actually.

Arrow and a half outside. Yeah, very close. But it doesn't take the account. No. So, sucked the fuck in. Yeah, I'm more unique, I guess. I was one, like, in the suburbs, it would be 40-minute drive from the CVDIS.

Yeah, same. Same. Absolutely. It is not known whether the said Roger Charles Titchborn was amongst the drowned or saved. He would, at the present time, be about 32 years of age. I've been that age. Well, what about this? Is of a delicate constitution?

That's Mickey. Rather tall. Oh. I used to be. For back then. For back then. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They were short back then.

You were probably quite tall. You would have been a giant. Yeah, so I was tearing over those. With very light brown hair and blue eyes. So light it's greying? It was light at one point. When you were 32. Yeah, that's right.

When you were 28. Yeah. But light blue eyes? Yeah, blue eyes. Yes. You got blue eyes. Oh my gosh. Sorry to doxy like that.

People have been asking for years. What colour his eyes. Could you? you be the missing Roger Tickbourne? Oh my gosh. Did you like how I said both Tickbourne and Titchbourne at the same time? It was actually very impressive. That was hard to do.

Maybe that's why this sounded familiar to me because I am part of the case. Yes. Well, let's save that for the end, you know, as a reveal. Yeah. That you are Roger. I'm a Roger. Mr. Titchbourne is the son of Sir James Titchbourne, now deceased, and is heir to all his estates. The advertiser is instructed to state that a most...

Liberal reward. What happened? I said reward, right? We're liberal. War. That was great fun. I was liberal reward. Oh, man.

I dish it out a lot, so it is kind of nice for it to come back. But it's just fun. Liberal award. I stand by it, actually. Yeah. And that will be given for any information that may definitely point out his fate. So they've kind of said, there, this is a nobleman and the family has lots of money.

Is that smart? Is that you? Let us know if that's you. Yeah. No, actually. Here's a vague description as well. If you can pretend to be this person, you could be in some cash. Oh, I don't know what you're implying there. Or be the person. Thank you. If you look at this person, it might be you and you've just forgotten. Yeah. Well, that can happen when you have a shipwreck. Yeah, you get a bonk on the head. Or like, he moved to a new place. Like, he was only, what, 30 when he moved. Yeah. So like, you know, the first, 30 years. My first memory comes at about 30. I don't remember anything before. Yeah. Your brain, I don't think it's fully developed until 30. Oh. That's probably true, actually.

Thinking back through my life, pretty 30. It was it. I didn't do a lot of... I'm, I'm, you know, my reaction is just like, am I done? Like, I think, I think maybe there's more time. Yeah. You'll have a growth spurt in the brain. That's what I used to tell myself, because I have been this height since I was about 14. But, you know, some people were like, oh, sometimes girls will have a little growth spurt at around 18. That didn't happen, but I held on hope. Yeah, in their 40s? You might.

40s, 50s. A little bit taller? Yeah, more likely a shrink spurt, but still. Shrings spurt. So some family members held hope that Roger had survived and was picked up by another ship, while others felt pity for Henriette and her inability to properly mourn her son. They wish she wouldn't waste her time and effort on posting these ads and newspapers, because what did she really expect to come from them?

No one was going to respond because Roger had died at sea. They don't know that. Yeah. Isn't that a wild way to think about it? It's like, they're probably dead. Forget about them. Forget about your son. They're probably dead.

Move on. And she obviously misses her son, but is there an element of, I want to get my other shit son out of the way because he's ruining the family by spending all our money? Oh, right. Do you reckon there's any of that or is that I just missed my son? I think she probably liked Roger Moore.

Roger Moore Who doesn't? Again, I was building suspense. Oh, sorry. It wasn't my favourite, the saint. I've got a capitalised. Sorry. Okay, ready.

So, Roger had died at sea. But then... What? A few months later, in October 1865, Arthur Cubbett wrote to Lady Titchbourne informing her that a lawyer from Wogga Wagga, William Gibbs, had found Roger Titchbourne.

Wow. In Wogger. He must have bumped his head pretty hard. But a lot of famous people come from Wogger, like sports people especially. Yeah, it's a big, big sports town. And Dane Simpson. Oh, he doesn't. He lives there.

And Michelle Brasier. She comes from Wauke Wogga. Bloody hell. Can you believe that? So, William Gibbs. He's a lawyer in Wogga Wogga, which for international listeners is the teen pregnancy capital of Australia. Is that true? That's something Michelle Brosey says all the time.

Okay. Her mom was a teen? No. It's a regional town in New South Wales. It's a few hours west of Canberra. It's about five hours northeast of Melbourne. So he obviously arrived on that ship, didn't like our laneway in coffee culture, decided, I'm going to try somewhere else. We're just bullshit.

Give us a chance. Give us a fucking chance. Go on. On a nice spring day, there's no better city. Do they have the G? And we have like two of those a year. Nice day. It's worth it. It's worth it.

So William Gibbs, he's a lawyer there. He is dealing with a bankruptcy for a client named Thomas Castro, who's a local butcher. During their conversation, Thomas mentioned he had entitlement to some property back in England. And Gibbs noticed that he was smoking a pipe that had the initials R-C-T on the side. Could it be? R-C-C-T, R-C-C-T. Gibbs questioned Castro, who denied having any other identity, past or present, other than Thomas Castro. What an absurd question.

And that was the end of that. Okay, okay. Now, Gibbs pushed a little more. Okay. And eventually Thomas Castro caved and admitted he was, in fact, the missing Roger Titchborn. Whoa, why was he keeping it a secret? Yeah, great question. So Gibbs wrote to Arthur Cubbet, who offered to accompany Thomas back to England and wrote to Lady Titchbourne requesting funds for their travels.

Gibbs also suggested that Thomas write a letter to his mother and also write a will before he leaves. I'm not entirely sure why. And did he say, and, you know, if you were looking for someone to leave stuff too. Yeah, if you like, if anybody's like helped you with this kind of stuff recently and you're like, yeah, I could take care of it. But, you know, I'm a lawyer. I don't make a lot of money, so any help would be nice, my lord. Anyway, so the will incorrectly gave Lady Titchbourne's name as Hannah Francis.

Okay. And disposed of numerous non-existent parcels of supposed Titchbourne property. Oh, you can have Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, enjoy it, the London... Edinburgh Castle, that's yours. If I does. Just give you away stuff, Iffel Tower out of it. That's weird. He's just having a stab.

He's just having a stab, but, you know, like... But he misspelled his mum's name or... Oh, go complete wrong. Her name's Henriette. He wrote Hannah Francis. Just had a stab at it. I think, I know, I think what's happened. I mean, you have to remember...

Oh, he hid his head. He hid his head. He had a bunk on the head. Yeah, he had a bonk on the head. And he has probably a bit waterlogged, too, from being in the water. He's got swimmer's ear. He's got swimmers here, and that can do all sorts of things. Yeah, it makes Henrietta sound like.

Hannah Francis. And if you hadn't seen your mum in a couple of years, you'd forget her name as well. Yeah, I haven't seen, yeah, I'm just trying to think. So my mum on Sunday, it was her birthday. But what's her name? What? Did she say, when we were singing happy birthday, I think I yelled mum, so. I was at a birthday recently.

Actually, you were both there. And I, um, during the song, realize I'd forgotten how to sing the song. Yep. Yeah, you started giggling. I was sitting right next to you. You said a giggling. I forgot the deer part.

I just went straight for the name. And, uh, yeah, that stood out in a crowd. Yeah. Where one person said a different word to everyone else. You honestly probably would have gotten away with it had you not started laughing. Yeah. And then lent over to me and said, I forgot the words. Don't worry.

I think I've got it on video for it. Anyway, so. the letter to his mother, because he did the will, and he wrote a letter to his mum. Did it say, dear Hannah? It said, hey, mummy. That's good. I only know her as mommy. I only call her mummy.

It gave vague references to his former life. Pretty vague. But that was enough for Lady Titchbourne. Do you remember when I was a boy? Now I'm a man. Yeah. Back when I was, in a lot of ways, shorter than this. My Roger was a boy, and now he's a man.

She was convinced. She was like, my eldest son is alive, definitely wasn't made worse by the fact that her younger son, Alfred, had died in February. So she's a grieving woman. She's vulnerable. But she is convinced and she's happy. Well, and she would know what her son looks like. It wasn't like you left. I could understand.

They're not FaceTiming. I just want to make that clear. It is a letter. Oh, okay. Wouldn't that right? But you're thinking about like if he disappeared as a two-year-old and that 32-year-old. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, that's, you know, that could be them. But if you, so she's going to see him and either know one way better. Yeah, it's been nine years. You're not going to change that dramatically in nine years that your immediate family aren't going to recognise you, totally. I saw, I thought he'd already arrived. No, no, no, he's still back in Australia. He's written a letter.

And he's forgotten her name because of the bong on the head. The only thing that might look different is he might have a bump. Yeah. He's got a large edge. But if you just, if you just put your hand over it and sort of close one eye, you're like, oh, no, that's Roger. Cover the egg. Cover the egg.

And you'll get used to the egg. In time, you'll learn to love the egg. You could dress the egg up. Put a little hat on the egg. See if there's a hat for you, hat for the egg. All these Christmas presents now are hats and then a small version of the same hat. Like when you dress twins the same. You dress the egg the same.

The egg's wearing a little three-faced. A little bow tie for the egg. The mum gets too into the egg. He's like, Mum, I'm in my 30s. He's like, mum, honestly, my hair covers it. It's a slight bump. You're really drawing attention to the egg. You might be in your 30s, but the egg is still young.

The egg's my little baby. Yeah, the eggs are closest to the guy to a grandchild at this point. That's not true. He has children. Anyway, I'll get to that in just a second. Oh my God. So all of this happened around October of 1865. Things moved a little slower back then, so it took a few months to get all of their ducks lined up.

In June of the following year, Thomas, slash Roger, I'm just going to keep calling him Thomas through the whole thing. A lot of sources call him the claimant. Oh. Oh, okay. I mean, in my mind, I'm going to call him Roger because I know that's who he is. But I'm just going to say Thomas. But I know you mean, Roger.

Well, if he's chosen to change his name, I think which you respect that. That's right. His new identity, which he chose. Is Thomas? Yep. So, yeah, he was discovered in October. June of the next year, he moved from Wogger to Sydney, where he was able to secure loans from banks for his travel.

based on a statutory declaration that he was Roger Titchbourne. So he's a wealthy heir, he's heading back to England where all his money is. That's a slam dunk for a bank. They're like, take this money. But he's done a stat deck. You can't lie. You can't lie on a stat deck. You cannot lie.

You can't. So like that should be proof enough. If there are any doubters, it's like he's done a stat deck. Yeah. I don't know. He did it in front of a chemist or whatever. You can't lie in front of a chemist. If you lie in front of a chemist, like, you lie in front of a chemist.

Like, you'll disappear. Have either of you ever had to do a stat deck? Oh, yeah. I don't think I have. Oh, yeah. Sorry, he's very old. Of course he has. I only had to do it once when I got a new car and gave my old car to my partner and we

weren't married and that you don't pay a transfer fee if you're just giving it, the car's staying within the same relationship or household or like, so just give to give your car to your spouse is fine. You don't pay a fee for that. Right. So we had to go get a stat deck. we were in a relationship. It felt really weird in front of the chemists. We're like, do you need us to kiss or something?

He's like, look at me in the eye. Do you want to see our Facebook status? Are you in love? Well, yeah, I suppose. Bit of fun. Anyway, so the banks, they're like, oh, he's good for it. They give him some money for his travels. The stat deck was later found to contain many errors,

although the birth date and parentage details were given correctly. Always remember your own birthday. Mm. Okay. And the parents, he's now getting their names right. He's getting them right. But other, like, mistakes? Well, it included a brief account of how he arrived in Australia.

Oh my God, I've just realized, though. If he's starting to remember his mom's real name, I think the egg might be dying. No. No, not the egg. I think the egg might be. What? So it's the egg or his memory? Yeah, I'm afraid so.

Gosh. No, I want to watch this movie. The egg or the memory. It's up to you. Make the choice. It's so sad Because the egg has funny little outfits I'm what you can do with those clothes

I know Oh But memory's important You know Yeah but the egg Yeah And I don't even like eggs I know but

I like this egg I don't like eggs But I like this egg That's sad Yeah sorry So the stat deck Included a brief account Of how he arrived in Australia

He and others from the Sinking Bella He said had been picked up By the Osprey Bound for Melbourne on arrival he'd taken the name Thomas Castro from an acquaintance from Chile and had wandered for some years before settling in Wagga Wagga. It's so funny the idea that you have to take, like you can't just make up a name. I took it from a man.

Yeah. And somebody I met. Yeah. And then he wandered for years. Don't worry, this isn't a made-up name. I took it from another man. This person exists. It's just not me.

Yeah. Yeah, he didn't like Melbourne, so he went to Wagga. Fuck this guy. What is this? Probably doesn't like Laneway culture? Coffee culture? It's like some of the best coffee in the world? Yeah.

Oh, I'm scared of trams. Ding, ding! Don't worry. I'm the city with has them. The only city that has trams. So avoid us at all cost. Oh, maybe he didn't like weather. That's something we have as well.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Maybe he didn't like the Royal Botanic Gardens. Oh, yeah. Good luck. I challenge anybody to go in there and not be just... Mesmerized? Yes, enchanted. Enchanted.

It's astonished. Yeah. Horny. Horny. Yeah. Rock hard. Yeah. I love that grass.

I challenge you to go into the botanic gardens and not get a stiffy. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck. But I love the idea of him wandering for years despite knowing that he's a baron. Or has he forgotten this for a while? Do we? Yeah, I have no idea. He doesn't sort of explain why he wasn't like, I'll just write to the family and let him know I'm okay.

I'm assuming it's like a Harold Bishop or Neighbours type arc. Oh, okay. He fell off into Port Phillip Bay in Melbourne. He washed up ashore in Tasmania. Obviously, bobbed his way across the Bastray. Treacherous piece of ocean, hundreds of columns along. And, you know... Very close on the map, though.

You'd think you could swim it. He had a big egg. And he, yeah, he forgot who he was. Took up the tuba, I think. Right. You know, you'd never know what that kind of trauma will do to you. Yeah. You take up the tuber.

No. No, I don't want to do it. You know, the water is probably quite cold. Yes. And that sort of, I mean, I've heard people talk about cold therapy and plunge pools and stuff like that. But at some point, yes. It's very dangerous. Even Wynhoff wouldn't like that one.

Have you been listening to Joe Rogan again? Yeah. Yeah. I just think he has really great opinions. I think he loves. He loves the plunge. And great guests. Or does he?

I don't know. It feels right. He feels like a plunger. He feels like a plunger. Back to Thomas. Sorry, he's wondering. He wandered. He had married a pregnant housemaid called Mary Ann Bryant and taken her child, a daughter as his own.

And the couple had a second daughter that same year as in the year that he's discovered. So while in Sydney, Thomas met two former servants of the Titchbourne family. Oh, great. Old pals. So, like, they're going to know him. Yeah. Yes. We'll find out now if this is the real deal.

Oh, yeah, okay, I'll build some suspense. One was the gardener. Okay. Now, there's no closer relationship. Than a lord and his gardener. Oh, my goodness. We all know that to be true. That's where the saying comes from.

Yes. The gardener's name was Michael Guilfoil. Tighter than a baronet and his gardener. Yeah. Is that the saying you're referring to? That's what I say about us. You and I specifically. Yeah.

Not Dave. Let me in. Let me in. No. They could be too gardener. There's not a lot of room between a baronet and a gardener for you to squeeze in between. Yeah, we're very close. I've tried to wedge my way in there, but I cannot get in.

We're mushed together right now. I will break you up. I will break you up. I'll mark my wife. So Michael the gardener, first, he acknowledged the identity of Roger Titchbourne. He's like, yep. Okay. That's you.

So it's him. Okay. Hey, that's good. But he later changed his mind when asked to provide money to facilitate the return to England. Okay. So maybe it's just that he just didn't have the cab. And he was like, all right. Why is he asking the gardener for cash?

Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't understand. And how did the gardener say him if he wasn't already in England? What's this guy's deal? The gardener is in Sydney. He moved to Sydney. Mm-hmm. Probably to work on the lovely Sydney.

Seems like you've got an answer for everything. It's so funny because the sentence before that started with while in Sydney. Yeah. He met two servants. I thought that was the name of an English woman. So I do apologize. Josh. The second person that he met up with was a little bit more removed.

His name was Andrew Boggle. It's one G, but I'm going to call him Boggle. Yeah. What's he saying, Bogell? Yeah, that's he's going, it's Bechelle. It's Boggall. Who had worked for Roger's uncle, Sir Edward. The elderly Boggle did not immediately recognise Thomas,

whose 189 pound or 86 kilo weight, contrasted sharply with Rogers' remembered slender build. Slender build. People can put on weight. Especially over nine years. You haven't seen some of the early 20s. Early 20s to early 30s is a big change there, okay? Your body does some changes.

Yeah, your libido, not libido. What's the thing? What's the thing? Metabolism. And libido is gone slow down. They both slow down. They both slow down. Okay, that's fine.

Nothing wrong. There's pills for both. If you want them. But no pressure. No pressure. You're welcome to have slow both. If you want. That's totally normal.

You bowels. They get quicker. It doesn't make sense. So he didn't recognize his thought of good. However, yeah, he quickly accepted that this was Roger. Wow. And remained convinced the rest of his life. So it feels like both of them.

No, you're heavier. Oh, wait. I just remembered people can gain weight over a nine-year period. Oh, yeah, you're probably. Hang on a second. You don't look like you're in your early 20s. 86 kilos for a man isn't that big either. Unless he's quite short, but it says he's reasonably tall.

He'd be the biggest man. in this room. That's true. In probably in all sorts of ways, but, um, oh. Oh, no. But you say he's not like, I'm, maybe he was quite very slim. Are you purposely yo-yoing here? Because I, one paragraph, I'm like, it's not him.

The next I'm like, oh, it is him. And then I'm like, wait, no, it's not him. And now again, I'm like, oh, it is him. Two people have IDed him. Yeah, two people that worked with a family. Yeah. Like, one of them sort of reneged on it because he didn't want to. But what?

I mean. But see, so Andrew Bogle, the one who did confirm, like who said, yes, that's him, even though at first he was like, no. Oh, wait, yes. He worked for the uncle and Roger would go and stay with them all the time and was in love with the daughter, his cousin. So, you know, he was around a lot. Yeah.

No, I'm just saying, like, because there are people that are. that doubt it, and I'm saying that's ridiculous because... We've got two eyewitnesses to say... It is pretty funny, though, the situation. Hey, Gardner, do you know me? Yeah, yeah, that's you. Okay, can I have $5,000, please? No.

No? It's not you. Yeah, we don't know the details there. Not just like, no, I was your uncle's gardener or whatever. I can't afford to send you to England. Surely you, a baronet, can sort that at yourself. You'd think so. So in September,

Thomas and his young family set sail for England in first class. Thank you very much. That was the problem. We need to save up for first class. Good living in Sydney had raised his weight on departure to 2 10 pounds or 95 kilos, so he'd put on a bit. And during the long voyage, he added another 40 pounds or 18 kilos. Bloody hell.

Now, I want to be clear that I'm only mentioning his weight because, one, Thomas is a lot heavier than Roger was remembered, which doesn't, like we've said, doesn't mean anything because bodies change, but it is sort of like one of the main things people talk about when they're they're skeptical. But two, I'm just incredibly impressed with adding 18 kilos in a three-month journey. Yeah. That is impressive. But I reckon if I was in first class, I'd be like, just keep it coming.

It's difficult to exercise on the boat. Yeah, yeah. That's a weightlifter. Yeah. What do you call that, period? As weightlifter, you? Gaining. Gaining.

He's just gaining. Maybe he's going to shred later. Yeah. Or shed. Shred. Shred. But also, if it isn't the real him, maybe this is a tactic to be like, you know, I'm giving, I'm giving a reason for not looking

not looking quite the same. So like, it sounds like to put on that kind of way, it would probably possibly be on purpose. I don't know. Yeah, like is this like someone. It's honestly just very impressive. It sounds like someone like Jared Leder or something like only eating like microwave ice cream for three months because they're gaining for a role or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like it's hard to do. It's hard for you to do. Yeah, actually would be. That would be the only way you could do it. You could do microwave ice cream. Oh, God. Yeah, you'd have to, you'd be mushing a lot of stuff. Now, that's good eating.

So they arrived in England on Christmas Day, 1866. They travelled to London and checked into a hotel. And then Thomas popped over to Lady Titchforn's place, only to be told she was in Paris. So then he did something that would later be seen as a little peculiar. He then went. He went around the room. I'm going, Oh,

wow, Oh, Oh, La Blah Blah-Bah Up-Bah Upon reflection years later,

people said, that was a bit peculiar. Only, only upon reflection, they went, you know what, that was a little odd.

At the time, I thought nothing of it. I don't remember him doing that when he was younger. But people change. It could be an Australian thing.

I don't know what they're like down there. New culture. New culture. Yeah. You're just trying to assimilate. Could be some sort of wogga-wogger thing. Yes, yes, yes.

Teen pregnancy and flippity bip-pub. Yeah. It's the two big things. So. Kind of a high-pitched scat. Yeah. Skibbibbub. But it was really the facial expressions and the hand gestures that made it.

That made it peculiar. Yes. Before that, I was like, uh-huh, uh-huh, yes. He's high, I'm doing a bit of high-pitched scar. I understand. Yeah. No, what he did was he went to a whapping in East London. Wet ass.

Wapping. Pussying. Because he went a whopping. He went a whopping. He went a whopping. Wow. That's what I think the 12 geese do in that Christmas song. Twelve geese are whopping?

I think that's right. Yeah, is that right? He inquired after a local family named Orton, finding that they'd left the area. He identified himself to a neighbour as a friend of Arthur Orton, who he said was now one of the wealthiest men in Australia. Just keep this odd little visit in the back of your mind for now. We'll come back to it later. I'm now a, I'm a, who's... No, he said, oh, I'm a friend of Arthur. I met him in Australia. He's doing very well now. He's very wealthy there. If you could pass that on, if you see the family. But he's just visiting the family of a friend, Arthur, Orton.

And he's saying Arthur is wealthy or he's now wealthy? Arthur's wealthy. Okay. That's confusing. So what was a whapping? A place. Okay. I was like, I can't get through a fucking sentence. He went to a whopping. He went to whapping. I went to whapping. I never said a whopping. I think you might have said a whopping.

He went to whapping. I am sorry. Had a coffee. I'll shut the fuck up for a bit. You won't, though. I will. Okay. I'm going to look at the clock.

Yep. I'm going to go five minutes. Five minutes. Five minutes. zipped. That's too long. That's too long. Two. Okay, two minutes. I mean, it's up to you. Well, it's just a bit boring if like one person on the podcast just goes completely silent.

Okay. Doing for two. Utah. Give me two. A few days later, he visited the Swan Hotel in Altsford, sorry, where the landlord commented that he had a resemblance to the Titchbourne family. Thomas confided that he was in fact Roger. presumed dead but very much alive

let's keep this between ourselves but also tell me everything you know about the Titchford family Did he say Titchford family? Titchballs These Titchfids What do you know about them? I'm them

I'm doing well It would be such a great Titchfewborn, yes Titchforn yes in the wrong name Yeah yeah that one that one that one It is impressive though That a stranger has said

You look like the family Gosh you look just You've got such a strong resemblance to a famous family. Yeah. Bizarre. So, Thomas hired a solicitor, John Holmes, who agreed to travel with him to Paris. There they met with Lady Titchbourne. Here we go.

The moment she saw him, she knew that was her son. Oh, wow. Great news. At Holmes behest, she lodged with the British Embassy, assigned declaration formally testifying that this claimant was her son. She allowed Holmes to inform the times in London that she had recognised Roger because it's making a bit of news.

She travelled back to England with them, with Roger, with Thomas, to declare her support and belief to the more sceptical members of the Titchbourne family. So back in England, he's mingling with his long-loss family, Thomas quickly won a few significant supporters. The Titchbourne family solicitor, Edward Hopkins, and the family doctor, J.P. Lipscomb,

both accepted that Thomas was Roger. You will love this. Lipscomb, after a detailed medical examination, reported that Thomas possessed a distinctive genital malformation. Which Roger had. Oh my gosh, really? Yep. Was it?

What was it? I don't know. Wow. The testicle or something? Matt's looking at the clock. You could speak if you want to talk about the genitals. No, I just made it. Two minutes.

Well done. That is. I mean, what are the odds? Exactly. Yeah. And like a doctor never forgets a cock. No. Never forgets a cock. It's the family doctor. Yeah.

He knows every penis in that family. Yes. Yes. And he knows. As is his job. Yeah. Nothing weird. Like we're saying that like it's special about this doctor, but like all doctors should just remember. Yeah. Have a photographic memory. Yeah. My doctor I walk in. He says, who are you? I drop my pants. He says, oh, Mr. Warnocky. Great to see you again.

Good to see you. Good to see you. And he's shaking your dick. As he says it. And he says, this is a new mole. We should keep an eye on this. Incredible. Very thorough doctor. Really thorough. Face blind, but penis.

Rich. Penis rich. The opposite of blind. Petus rich. It's really hard because I'm not doing well today. And I'm doing a lot of the talking. It's tricky. It's tricky, but you have to try.

Sometimes you say, penis rich. Penis rich. I wasn't sure. I was also not sure what does it. Penis sightful. Yeah. What is the opposite? Got 20-20 penis vision?

Oh, that, there it is, yeah. That's good. That's good. Yeah, 20-20 penis. Let's edit that together. Yeah. 2020 penis. 2020.

That's a bit bigger than that. What does that mean? What is that mean? 20 mil? Yeah. What are we talking? Exactly. Oh, well, like, 50 by 50.

Mill? Mill? Mill. Mill. Mill. Yes, mill. 50 by 50. Okay.

That's why it's very distinct. It's a little cube. It's a little... It looks like a wombat shit. What? What are Americans do for Mill? They're going to be confused by that. Put it in terms they'd understand.

Like a quarter inch or something. Their equivalent of a millimeter is a quarter inch. I'm sorry, 50. I'm sorry, 50. 50. We're awful. We're having a... We're having a...

We're having a... Did you say we're awful? We're awful. We're awful. Well, so he's got, he's got a distinctive dick. Yes. It's Roger. Yes.

It's Roger. Someone at the pub recognized him without ever knowing him. He's got a weird dick just like the real guy. It's definitely him. Yeah. I wonder if it's just like his dick has like a specific mustache or something, you know? Like a twirly sort of thing. Or do you think it's possible when he was talking to the public and he said,

tell me everything you know about the Titchford family. He said, Titchball. There's a scar. Well, they always have these strange mark on their left testicle. He's gone out, got a permanent marker. Right. A couple of circles on there. Dropped his pants.

He didn't even commit to a tattoo. No, a tattoo. Just like, you have one exam. The doctor's not going back in there. And then you go, check it out, Doc. There it is. Yep. And the doctor says, this is it.

This is a Titchford penis. I never forget a Cod. Titchfond. Titchbom. The doctor is also. Are you getting confused with Tickford The old high performance Ford manufacturer?

Yes. That's it. That's why. That's what I was thinking too. Yep. So Thomas impressed people with his ability to recall small details of Roger Titchbourne's early life,

such as the specific fly fishing tackle he'd used. He's obsessed with tackle this guy. Several soldiers who had served with Roger recognized Thomas as Roger. They're like, yep, that's him. Okay. And you're in pretty close proximity with your fellow soldiers. That's right.

I mean, you're with them so often. He'd probably drop his pants and they'd recognise it. Yeah. I don't see how anyone... There can't be any doubt on this. Everyone agrees. Yeah. From Wikipedia, Rowan McWindle...

McWilliam, in his account of the case, calls this wide degree of recognition remarkable, particularly given the claimant's increasing physical differences from the Slim Roger. By mid-June 1867, the claimant's weight had recognised. reached almost 300 pounds or 140 kilos. Oh, right. It's honestly incredible. The rate that this man can gain weight.

He was 86 when you first read out of this guy's weight. Yeah, and that was bigger than Roger. But you know where you don't put on weight. You're a cock. You did. Have you tried that, though? Tried to, yeah. Putting on weight.

I've tried to, what did you call it? Gain. Yeah. I've tried to gain down there. And, yeah, pumps, all sorts of stuff. You forgot to shred. Just, yeah. So fun, not so good.

Well, keep us updated. Okay, we'll do it. It's good to check in. I don't want to pry, so you just share with us whatever you feel comfortable. But it's important we all know. I've tried everything. You're trying to. I'm running out of ideas.

Let us know if you've got any. So we've heard from the family doctor, the family solicitor, Roger's former fellow soldiers, people who knew him socially. But what does the extended Titchbourne family think? Titchford, Titchford, please. Like the mum's surely final say. Totally. And she instantly said, that's my boy.

Well, the extended family almost unanimously declared him a fraud. Oh, the family who would otherwise get the estate? Yeah. Well, I wonder if they have any motivation to do that. Okay. They recognized Alfred Titchbourne's infant son, Henry Alfred, as the 12th baronet and wanted this imposter to stay away from the title. They're like, that is not Roger.

Right. Yeah, baby's a lot easier to get to sign your checks and stuff to keep you in. Yeah, that's right. In the life that you've grown accustomed, that's, you know, something that they might say. And working is deeply shameful to have a job. Yes. Oh, my God.

I like that from Bridgeton. So, okay, I'll say again. Between what? Yeah. What? Dancing. Bridgeton. Dancing to like...

Bit of horizontal dancing, you know what I mean? What? Isn't that what I've been saying it, but I've heard Bridgeton's pretty saucy. Jess watches Netflix with the parental lock-on, so it skips all this in. So each episode only goes for four and a half minutes. Is that a thing that you can do? Because I would honestly... Sure.

Sure. Genuinely, I'm like, some shows, I'm like, all right, we get it. Yeah. This loves... making scene is going for minutes. All right, guys. I got it. It's going for minutes.

That's unrealistic. It's taken me out of the scene. Stop rubbing it in, okay? I get they're allowed to have sex. Do I have to watch it? It's out in space. I'm like, well, this is a bit far-fetched. I will say it.

So I've mentioned his size a couple of times, and that feels like a bit of a gross detail to mention so much. But it is one of the main arguments made against him is that like, that he is sort of a different body shape and he's quite a lot heavier than Roger was. That is, that's not a good argument. I know, but this one, this other main argument, is slightly more important.

Okay. So Lady Titchbourne's brother denounced Thomas as a fraud when he found that he neither spoke nor understood French, which was Roger's first language as a child. Oh, yes. As a child, you forget that stuff. And he lacked any trace of a French accent. So I did mention before that Roger spoke with.

the French accent. You totally, but he lived in Wogger. Yeah. That's a specific accent. He picked that up. They'll beat that out of you, Dan, and Wogger. Absolutely. If you don't change in Wogga, they'll, like, they will, they'll run out of town.

They don't like French is there. No, no. Famously. He's done that to survive. And I'm glad you guys are saying this, because I've written down, the argument could be made. Language is one of those things. If you don't use it, you'll lose it.

Yes. And that's definitely true of your first language. And you can certainly lose your first language and accent in a 13-year period. Of course you can. If you have a bonk on the head. Yeah, we've got a bonk on the head. All the language went to the egg. Oh, and the egg.

If you asked the egg, the eggs said, ooh, mona me. Yeah. Honestly. Chimapel le, oof. Have you ever got a few days without speaking to another person? And then you try to form a sentence and you're like, uh, there, uh, uh, yeah. You know? Yeah.

Now try that for 13 years. 13 years. No French. Mm. Okay? First language, gone. I think that's pretty unreasonable of his uncle to be like, that's not him. He doesn't have a French accent.

Okay. No, so, yeah, I think the uncle's got a point there. The white thing is ridiculous. Your bodies can change. But accents and... Language. Your first language. You regress to your first language.

That's what happens, if anything. If you're going to forget anything, it's the second language. And maybe, let's say, you're not instantly completely fluent. But you're going to have a bit of that left, right? You're going to understand the basics at the very least. And then hopefully, usually people will pick it up as they are exposed to it again. is yes. You'd think, but this guy's dick, let's not forget.

Yeah, he's got the dick malformation. He's got a very specific dick. The specific dick, I did forget about that. This is tricky. Uh-huh. This is a tricky one. It's hard. I once got knocked back from Wild Bill's Club in Southland.

Was that the lowest point of your life? Oh, no, there's been another son. I can't come in there. Really? The bouncer, because the bouncer said that my hair colour was different on the ID, saying it was a fake ID. I'm like, it's not, firstly. Secondly, you can change your hair colour. That can't be the reason for not letting me in.

I do it every six to eight weeks. That's absurd. Yeah. It's like the light, it just looks different in that photo, that's all. But if the security guard got you to drop trail, yes. You would have been straight in there. Yeah, because, well, internationalists won't know on the back of our IDs is a, A very graphic photo.

Tasteful. Yeah. Tastfully. Details. Yes. Yes. High deaf. Yes.

Holographic. Yeah. What's it on the back of women's? What's the same area? Mm. Yeah. Yeah. The crotch.

Yeah. All graphic. Like snowflakes. All different. Mm. No two are the same. Yeah. Wow.

The Labia menorah. Um. Do you want me to keep going? Yeah. If you want to keep naming. other. So, yeah, that one is a, that's a big one. He's lost his language and accent.

That swung me back. This pendulum keeps swinging. Yeah, it's exciting, isn't it? Much like a mouth formed. So Thomas also struggled to identify several family members, and he complained about attempts to catch him out by presenting him with impostors. They were not impostors. He was like, oh, you're trying to trick me.

Nice, try. Trying to trick me, bringing in strangers. I haven't seen them before. life. It's like, that's your cousin. That's the cousin you're in love with. Yeah. That's your hot cousin. That's your sexy cousin. We've all got a sexy cousin. Don't worry about it. Well, if you don't, maybe you are. You are the sexy cousin. It's not me. It's not me. You're thinking of a specific hot cousin. Well. I have like 40 cousins. Yeah. Chances are for you actually. There's a lot of hoties.

Yeah. Yeah. Same here. Yeah. Yeah. They're all pretty much, you know, they've got my genes. Yeah, that's right. If they're related to you, they've got to be out. They're me times 10. Smoke shows. I'm actually, we're probably like, dead last hottest in our extended family. Really? Yeah, yeah.

You're the lowest. Yeah. And you're already this hot. Yeah, I know. Holy. Can you imagine number one. My gosh. I think that's too much, actually.

I couldn't handle that. Probably got no personality, right? Too beautiful. Yeah, I think so. All dull. Cruise through life. Yeah, yeah. All very dull people, but very attractive.

Yeah, yeah. So, okay, he's, he's, he's, He can't identify family members. He had given Vincent Gossford, a former steward of the family, a sealed package before he'd left back in 1853. Thomas could not remember the contents. Now, that I'm sort of like, I mean, just reading about the stat deck before, I'm like, where is the stat deck?

Where did I put that? I can't, I don't know where anything is. That's not true. But you know what I mean? Something that I put away 14 years ago, I'm not like, oh, I know exactly what was in there. Before he left. Before he left, the real guy, if this is not the real guy, gave the, and they were like, what's in here?

Yeah. Oh, gotcha. And he's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't remember. Can you remember the mail you brought in last week and where you put it? Fuck no. No.

Probably the bin. Yeah. So I don't know if I necessarily trust that one. The extended family believed that Thomas had acquired pieces of information from sources like Boggle and other people in close proximity to the family. And it used these small pieces of information to convince them he was Roger. So he's just sort of like doing his research, remembering as much as he can. Playing Boggle, getting a small.

separate words coming up. Okay, yes, mustache. He boggled his own mind. Bookshelf. Lady Titchbourne, throughout all of this, never changed her mind. She was unmoved when Father Chathilun, Roger's childhood tutor, declared that he was an imposter. Oh. Even then she's like, no.

But childhood, I don't know about childhood ones. Yeah. You're going to change the most from childhood. Yeah. The only other person in the extended family that believed Thomas was a distant cousin. called Anthony John Wright Bidolf. Sorry, what's the last name? Bidolf.

Bidolf. Beautiful name, boy, girl. However, as long as Lady Titchbom was alive and maintaining her support, Thomas's position remained strong. She set him up with an income of £1,000 a year, which was a considerable sum at the time. Wow. And he was just living his best life.

He underwent a judicial examination in July of 1867. This is the story he gave. after his arrival in Melbourne in July 1954, just a couple of years before the Olympics if he'd just stuck around. Oh my gosh. He had worked. Surely it was 1854.

Oh, yeah. Just a hundred and two years before he was. So close. I was going to say he lived a life. But you do that too every time of it. It's 18, I think 19. It's my millennial bug. Yeah.

He'd worked. Millennial bug? What's the actual thing? Millennium. But I thought that you were doing it. very clever joke. I was doing a very clever joke. That's what that was. That was a very clever joke. Very clever. Anytime you're confused or I sound confused, I'm being clever. I'm being very clever. And if you don't quite get it, that's on you. Yeah. So he arrived in July of 1854,

102 years before the Olympics. And he worked for William Foster at a cattle station in Gippsland under the name Thomas Castro. While there, he'd met Arthur Orton, a fellow Englishman. After leaving Foster's employment, Thomas had subsequently wandered the country, sometimes with Orton, working in various capacities before setting up a butcher in Wagga Wagga in 1865. So that's quite a long time there, they're there. On the basis of this information, the Titchbourne family sent an agent, John McKenzie, to Australia to make further inquiries. McKenzie located Foster's widow, who produced the old station records.

These showed no reference to Thomas Castro, although the employer, employment of an Arthur Orton was recorded. Okay. Foster's widow also identified a photograph of the claimant and said, yeah, that's Arthur Orton. Okay. And that's the same name he went to the Orton's house and said, tell them their son's very rich now.

So he went to the Orton's place and they didn't recognize him. They weren't there. Oh. He said it to a neighbour. He said, hey, when they get back, tell the family, they've got a rich son now. Anyway. He's fine. He's in Australia.

He's fine. He's rich. Interesting. In Wagga Wagga, one local resident recalled the butcher Castro saying that he'd learnt his trade in Wapping. In a whopping? Is that a different place? Which is where Thomas had visited the Orton family. Yes, okay, okay.

During my silent period, just after I'd said 12 Swans are Wapping, they went to the Swan Hotel. I'm like... And that's why. You should do a little bit more of that because... Another two? Oh, like Swan! Like a Swan! Like a Swan!

You know, like, it wouldn't have been that funny. We'll go for another two. No, no, no, I'm just saying. You don't know what I would have done with it. I would have weaved something quite beautiful there. And Dave would have said, that was really clever. And I said, what was? Yeah.

What was? What happened? This is very interesting. It's quite interesting. So they send this information back. And then a private detective, ex-police inspector Jack Witcher, he does a bit of looking around as well. And he discovered that Thomas had visited the area

shortly upon his arrival in England. Hmm. Suss. What, I visited Wapping, you mean? Yeah. Oh, okay. So that's very interesting because this Thomas Castro said he learnt

to be a butcher in Wapping. And, oh, he visited Wapping and asked about the Oortons. And there is an Oorton on the records of that farm, but not Thomas Castro. How very peculiar. Unfortunately for Thomas, Lady Titchbourne died. in March of 1868

And as she was his only source of income And the main advocate for him being Roger He was a little bit screwed He outraged the family By insisting on taking the position of Chief Mourner At her funeral Now, I didn't know that was a position Wow

Would you just get to cry a little louder? You just sort of lead the morning Okay Yeah He insisted and did he, was he allowed? He insisted and he did take position of Chief Mourner His lost income was rapidly replaced by a fund

set up by supporters that provided a house and an income of 1,400 pound a year equivalent of about 160,000 pound. Wow, and so that's actually a raise now. Yeah, he's got an raise from mum's death. And is that family that do believe him putting supporters, you say?

It's more like, I think it's more family friends. There's really only the one cousin in the family who believes that he is Roger. Everybody else doesn't. So it's not family, but I think it's kind of, It's caused a bit of a stir, and later on he has quite a lot of public support. So I think it's probably a bit of public support and also just like wealthy people around. Yeah, wow.

And, yeah. In September of 1868, together with his legal team, Thomas went to South America to meet face-to-face with potential witnesses in Chile who might confirm his identity. He disembarked at Buenos Aires, sensibly to travel overland, and then he would rejoin his advisors who were continued. continuing by sea. So they let him off. He was like, I'm going to go fly land. I'll meet you. And they keep sailing. Don't know why. He's... And he did that ostensibly. Yep. What does that mean? I don't know. I'm quoting. Okay. It's kind of like practically, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm doing ostensibly. It did ostensibly. Oh, ostensibly. Yeah. Okay. I thought you said ostensibly.

Oh, sensibly. Yeah. I'm like, ostensibly. I'm like, I don't know what. It's a beautiful word. if it exists. After waiting two months in Buenos Aires, he caught a ship home. His explanation for this sudden retreat was poor health and the danger from highway robbers. And that did not convince his backers,

many of whom withdrew their support. And Holmes, the solicitor, resigned. Furthermore, on their return, his advisors reported that no one in Chile had heard of Titchbourne, although they remembered a young English sailor called Arturo. Arturo like Arthur?

Oh. Oh. So let's hear a little bit about Arthur and see if any of it fits with the story that we've heard so far. Wild to, if he is a fake, to go there. Yeah. Like, you'll be like, oh, hopefully, hopefully somehow I can. And if he is a fake and if he is Arthur Orton, why did you ever bring up the name Arthur Orden, you fucking idiot? Yeah.

Shut up. So let's hear about it. Arthur. See if any of this lines up. Because maybe it doesn't. Maybe it sounds like complete bullshit. So Arthur Orton was a butcher's son, born on March 1834, in Wapping, had gone to see as a boy and had been in Chile in the early 1850s. Sometime in 1852, he arrived in Hobart, Tasmania, in the transport ship Middleton and later moved to mainland Australia. His employment by Foster at Gippsland terminated around 1857 with a dispute over wages. Thereafter, he disappeared. Thomas hinted that some of his activities with

Orton were of a criminal nature and that to confound to the authorities they had sometimes exchanged names. Oh, okay. Interestingly, a former sweetheart of Orton's, Mary Ann Loder, did identify a photo of Thomas as Arthur Orton. Huh. So that's two different people that knew Arthur have seen a picture now of Thomas and said, well, yeah, that's Arthur. Wow. Yeah, but even more I have I deed him as Roger. Roger. So, you know, what does that even mean? I'm starting to wonder if people know what people look like back then.

I know. How is this happening? And what's very funny is there was a little note that said, like, some of the photographic evidence they had was dismissed in court cases because people were worried about how photos could be manipulated in the 1800s. I'm like, they're going to lose their fucking minds. So now Thomas is bankrupt because of people. people who were funding him are now pretty sure he's full of shit.

Oh. So his new legal advisors launched a cute little fundraising scheme. Titch-born bonds. The holders of which would be repaid with interest when the claimant obtained his inheritance. That's brilliant. Somehow, around 40,000 pounds were raised. Wow. Allowing Thomas to keep up his living and legal expenses for quite some time.

40,000. His mom was giving him a thousand a year. He's just made 40 years salary. Yes. I hope he doesn't spend it call at once. How could you? Back that sounds crazy. The case ends up going to trial,

and Thomas's team are obviously wanting to establish that he is in fact Sir Roger Titchbourne. Because in addition to Titchbourne Park, which is like a 2,300-acre estate, the estate also included manors, land and farm. in Hampshire, a considerable property, considerable properties in London and elsewhere, which altogether produce an annual income of over 20,000 pounds, which is equivalent to about 2.3 million now.

So it's like it's quite a big estate. Wow. So they really want to win and they want to prove that he is Roger Titchbourne, because all of this, like it's sort of high stakes. In his opening speech, William Ballantyne made much of Roger Titchbourne's unhappy childhood, his overbearing father, his poor education, and his frequently unwise choices of companions. The claimant's experience in an open boat following the wreck of the Bella had, said Valentine, impaired his memories of his earlier years, which explained his uncertain recall.

So they're saying exactly what we were saying. Egg. Egg. It's the egg. It's the egg. It's the French-speaking egg. He's had a bonged on the head. That's right. What's the French word for bonk? Probably bonk. Ed bonke. Yeah, thank you. Are they going to put the egg on the stand? I hope so, but hopefully it's well dressed.

The problem is if you put the egg on the stand. You put a little judge's wig on it. And then it can get cross-examined. And you don't, you just, I don't know if it would stand up, you know? Don't you reckon under like that kind of pressure? Yeah, you put an egg under heat. Yeah. See what happens.

They might crack. Yeah. Don't crack the egg. Yeah. We'll need a translator. It's a French-speaking egg. You do a bit of French A bonjour

A 600 day streak Oh yes Did you know I got the notification It came up on my watch before Dave He had a Dave and I are friends on Duolingo

And he's got a 600 day streak today Can I just say It always asked me to Send you a high five For doing something Yeah Have you ever sent me a high five No one

It's never told me that I've got a high five I congratulated you today For that streak Oh my gosh I'm gonna open up right now Come on But I don't think I've sent you

high-fives, no. 600 days, let's see. Maybe it's because I've just started. I'm at like day 16 or 17 or something. Day 600. This is duolingo we're talking about. I'm not sure if we mentioned that. Yeah.

Where does it start? I don't know. 600 days streak. I've got three freezes for that. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Friends, anything? Nothing from you.

Brutal. No congratulations whatsoever. That's bizarre. Because look, I pressed celebrated. Oh, well, thank you so much. Add a comment here. add a comment. Thank you very much.

I look forward to receiving your praise tonight when I'm back on there and I'm doing it at 1155pm being shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, I've got to get the string going, shit, shit, shit, shit. This is definitely the best way to learn, shit, shit, shit, shit. It's always right as we're getting into bed.

And I'm like, sorry, are you trying to get some sleep? Yeah, no worries. Um, Vodai. I'm talking loudly into my phone. And then, do-da, yeah, do-da. Beautiful noise. That's good stuff.

Okay. So attempts to identify his client as Arthur Orton were, Ballantine argued, the concoctions of irresponsible private investigators acting for the Titchbourne family. He's like, they're just, they're lying.

They're lying. They're lying. For him to not be the guy. Thomas was called to the stand and answered questions about Arthur Orden. He described him as a large, boned man with sharp features and a lengthy face slightly marked with smallpox. He's lost sight of Orton between.

between 1862 and 65, but they'd met again in Wogga Wogger. After questioning him on his visit to Wapping, Hawkins asked him directly, are you Arthur Orton? To which he replied, I am not. So, there you have it. I don't understand why this is like so drawn out. Case close. He's done the stat deck.

Yes, and now he's on the stand in front of the judge. He's like, no, I'm not Arthur Orton. She's probably swearing on a Bible. What more do you want? Yeah. Honestly, bizarre. From Wikipedia again, the claimant, so that's Thomas, displayed, considerable ignorance when questioned about his time at Stonyhurst, the boarding school.

He confused Latin with Greek, did not understand what chemistry was. He caused a sensation when he declared that he had seduced Catherine Doherty and that the sealed package given to Gosford, the contents of which he earlier claimed to not recall, contained instructions to be followed in the event of her pregnancy. Oh. Scandalous. That's very scandalous. So he's remembering this stuff now?

Yeah, before he was like, I don't know what's in there. Oh, I wonder how he found out then. Well, but maybe... Or just came back to him. If it was something like that, maybe he's like, well, I won't say in polite country. You don't want to say in front of your mum. Yes. You know, you've got...

You fucked your cousin. Prednessy plans. That makes sense. Yeah. Whoa. That's scandalous. The pendulum's just swung back. Yeah.

So, um, Rowan McWilliam, who's written a lot about this, says in his chronicle of the affair, comments that from the point, from that point on that the Titchbourne family were fighting not only for their estates, but for Catherine Doherty's honour. Oh, okay. Unbelievable. In early July, the court adjourned for four months. When it resumed, the prosecution had over 200 witnesses ready to be called, and their intention was to prove that the claimant was Arthur Orton.

Turns out, they didn't need to call 200 witnesses. On the 4th of March, the jury notified the judge, they'd heard enough. They were just like, I believe, make it stop. We get it. So they were ready to reject this. this suit. So Thomas was arrested on charges of perjury and was sent to Newgate prison.

Oh no. From his cell in Newgate, he vowed to resume the fight as soon as he was acquitted. In March 1872, he published in the evening standard an appeal to the public requesting financial help

to meet his legal and living costs. And he wrote, I appeal to every British soul who is inspired by a love of justice and fair play and is willing to defend the weak against the strong. I mean, he's a baronet. I think he's in the strong category.

But anyway, he gained considerable popular support during the civil trial. His fight was perceived by many as symbolising the problems faced by the working class when seeking justice in the courts. When he was bailed in early April, a large crowd gathered and cheered as he was released. So it's big news now. It's a big story. The front page after that with all the cheering would have been. Orton, here's a woo.

Could have been. Could have been. Wow. Print that right now. Print that. Front page. Carol's on. That's huge.

Please keep going. We can't wallow in this. You've got to keep moving. I'm sorry, but that was really good. Okay. I wanted to wallow a little. Please listen.

I was looking at you with love and adoration. I appreciate that. And I know you were misinterpreting that as I was about to be mean to you. That was. You would have rightfully done. That was pure love. You were like silence with astonishment. And that takes a bit.

Because normally when I'm astonished, I started yelling like that playing a video game last night because a baddie was chasing me. Oh no! Anyway, the criminal case went to trial in 1873 and given its expected length, the case was scheduled as a trial at bar, a device that allowed a panel rather than one judge to hear it. You know that's the other St. Cirtle Football Club was formed? 1873? Yeah. Wow.

How about that? You believe it. And one premiership in that whole time. Yeah, that's right. Wow. They suck? Yeah. I've never actually put that together, but yeah, now that I think about that length of time.

Well, they're sucked, you know, for 152 of the 153 season, whatever it is. But how are the boys looking this year? How are the boys looking this year? Hey, we're building something. We're building something. I don't think you'll cope if they win. The boys and the girls. I think, yeah.

I think your heart might stop. I think they're both going to win. Have the women won a premiership either? No. Have they been close? You would have heard about that. Yeah, yeah. No, they haven't been close.

Okay. Because they've, they've held up their end of the bargain. They know what they were signing up for. They get it. They get it. They haven't played finals. I don't think the women could come in. In the first few years, win a premiership.

Like it would, you know, people, they'd be. The men did play finals two seasons ago. Yeah. And you've been in the grand final. Yeah. A few times in your lifetime. Only 15 years ago. Just losing it.

Yeah. Yeah, it was a, they drew it. Yeah, that's right. Let's not talk about it. I agree. Because, yes, that was the year the St. Kilda Football Club was formed. Oh, Jess, if you do want to hear more, I think we did a five-hour episode about it. Still haven't listened to that one. Really?

Likely won't. That's weird. Really? No offence. Love you all very much. Yeah. I was there. Too long.

I've heard people say it's a really good episode. I'm feeling bored if this report I'm doing right now. Me too. That's a lie. I'm only joking. I'm loving it. Let's move it along. What's happening? I know, it's a bit wild, isn't it? Is it him or is it not? That's exciting. I'm unsure. Yeah.

But he's still in prison. He's in front of the bar now. I think I'm leaning more towards it not being him, but yeah, I really, you're going to say something in a minute. I'm going to go, oh, no, that is him. Exactly. So, panel of judges. So his legal team was significantly weak at this time. His previous team would not re-engage with him. Others declined as well, possibly because they knew they would have to present evidence concerning the seduction of Catherine Doherty and that would be sort of like

the Titchbourne family are powerful and also that's just like pretty gross. His backers eventually engaged Edward Conelli who Rowan McWilliams described as an Irish lawyer of acknowledged gifts but known eccentricity. Okay.

He's a little bit of a cook. The trial, one of the lengthiest cases heard in English court, began on the 21st of April 1873 and lasted in until the 28th of Feb, 1874, occupying 188 court days. Wow. The tone was dominated by Kenealy's confrontational style. His personal attacks extended not only to witnesses, but also to the bench.

Wow. Fuck you. Fuck you. That's eccentric. I'm imagining Brendan Fraser's character in Killers of the Flower Moon. Remember me was just as an old guy? Yeah. It came on about two and a half hours in, went for 10 minutes and was just doing a funny voice

of yelling at people. I was imagining like crazier hair, almost Einstein-ish type hair too. Oh, yeah, that's great. I don't know why. Anyway, so he's just dominating the courtroom, but not in a good way. Altogether, 215 witnesses were called, including people from France, Chile, Australia, and Wapping, who testified either that the claimant was not Roger Titchbourne or that he was Arthur Orton. It's kind of the same thing, I guess, there.

Regardless, they're saying, definitely not Roger. A handwriting expert stated that Thomas's writing resembled that of Arthur Orton, but had no resemblance to Roger Titchbourne's. The entire story of the rescue by the Osprey was a fraud. A ship of that name had arrived in Melbourne in July of 1854, but it did not correspond to the claimant's description. Furthermore, he'd provided the wrong name for the captain of that ship, and the names he gave for two crew members were found to belong to crew. crew of the Middleton, the ship that he had taken to Hobart. Right. So, like, he's sort of forgetting that all this shit's written down.

Yeah, okay. Given evidence on the contents of the sealed packet. So, Gossford originally was like, all right, you gave me a packet before you left, what was in it. And he said, I don't remember. And now, in a scandalous way, he said, it was what to do if Catherine's pregnant. And everyone went, ooh! Wow. But Gossford takes the stand now and revealed that it contained information regarding

the disposition of certain properties and nothing related to Catherine Doherty's seduction or pregnancy or anything to do with her. But does he have the package still? Because he could have been paid off by the family. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

He opened it. Oh, that's cool. Wow. That's cool. What a wild guess for him to have gone. So, all right, I'm swinging hard, hard doubt now. If it is, man, it feels like he just keeps trying to buy himself more time to try to write.

I'm panting myself into a corner. I'll work it out. It could be right. It says giving evidence on the contents of the sealed packet. Maybe Gossford is being like, no, it was about property. Yeah. Maybe. And the family of slipped in, you know.

But there's still not enough. I don't know. There's still not quite enough. Yeah. More sensational testimony came from a sailor called Jean-Louis, who claimed that he'd been on the Osprey during the rescue mission. Louis identified the claimant as Mr. Rogers. Which his first name was Roger.

one of six survivors picked up and taken to Melbourne. On investigation, Louis was found to be an imposter, a former prisoner who had been in England at the time of the bell is sinking. He was convicted of perjury and sentenced to seven years in prison. Oh, that's a big sentence. It's a bit tricky because the team with cash, as in the family, they're shipping people in from all over the world. They're obviously only shipping in people who are going to back them up,

You know? There might be people in Wagga, walker and wherever who we're like, no, we'd agree that he's really him. They're like, oh, we don't want to talk to you then. Yeah, don't pay for their ticket. Yeah. Because otherwise, I mean, it feels like they're bringing people from all around the world. This would be expensive. Yeah.

You know, just saying. But. But. Money. Money talks. Thomas has backers who have put a lot of money in. He's got Macas. He's got Macas.

He's got financial backers. So they could also be bringing people in who, who are. are defending him and saying he is Roger Titchbourne. Yeah, okay. And that's what he did, I guess, with that prisoner. Yeah, with that prisoner that they paid to lie. Yes. And was he even French?

I don't think so. He's like, I lost my accent. I've been in England for three days. Check out me egg. The jury retired at noon on Saturday the 28th of February and returned to court within 30 minutes. Their verdict declared that the claimant was not Roger Titchbourne, that he had not seduced Catherine Doherty and that he was indeed, Arthur Orton.

He was thus convicted of perjury. He was sentenced to 14 years imprisonment. Oh dear. The lawyer, Kenile... Yeah, it's not gone well. But so, Keneally, for his behaviour in court, ended his legal career. Whoa.

Because of his behaviour. Yes. They like, they disbarred him, basically. Because he was such a... He was so full on and threatening in the... Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. But don't worry. You can't say that to their judge.

Don't worry, in February of 1875, he fought a parliamentary by-election for Stokes upon Trent as the people's candidate and won with a resounding majority. So he went on to be a politician. Perfect. You'd be pretty annoyed getting seven years for lying when the guy who actually did the crime, only got double that. Yeah. In the years of the Titchbourne movement's popularity, a considerable market was created for souvenirs in the forms of medallions, china figurines, tea cloths and other. merch. But by 1880, interest in the case had declined and in the general election of that year, Conelli was heavily defeated. So he was kind of riding that way for a little while as well.

So Thomas, or more probably Arthur, ended up serving 10 years and was released in October of 1884. Throughout his imprisonment, he maintained that he was Roger Titchbourne. Upon release, he signed a contract to tour with music halls and circuses, but the British public's enthusiasm had waned. He went to New York in 1886, but no one there really cared about his story. And he ended up just bartending for a while. I mean, he's got a wife and kids back in London. It's so funny the people they got touring back then. Remember this guy?

He said he was someone. Cod said he wasn't. Well, here he is. Have a look at him. Here he is with a band. Isn't that bizarre? So strange. He returned in 1887 to England where, although not officially divorced from

Mary Ann Bryant, he married a musical singer, Lily Enver. Scandalously, in 1895, for a fee of a few hundred pounds, he confessed in the people newspaper that he was, after all, Arthur Orton. Oh my God, for a few hundred pounds. With the proceeds, he opened a small tobacconist shop. He quickly retracted the confession and insisted again that he was Roger Titchball. He just wanted the cash. Come on, mate.

He just wanted the money to open a shop. The shop failed, as did many other business attempts. and all good things must come to an end, and he died destitute of heart disease in April 1898. Didn't even get to see Australia Federate. And he loved Australia. He loved Australia. So, commenters have generally accepted that Thomas was Arthur Orden all along. He was not Roger Titchbourne.

But there are theories and questions still floating around. A lot of today's report has come from the writings of Douglas Woodruff, who published a massive study on this case in 1957. He posits that Thomas very well may have been Roger Titchbourne. Woodruff's principal argument is the sheer improbability that anyone could conceive such an imposture from scratch at such a distance and then implement it. Really? Yeah, I know.

Another theory was brief. To me, it just sounded like he heard the singer, you vaguely look like this guy. And then bit by bit, he built the lie up. Yeah, it didn't sound like having a full ingenious plan. No. No. Seems like it kind of maybe shared a vague resemblance and tried to capitalize on it.

I reckon if he, yeah, if it was a genius plan, he would have had a French tutor on that long voyage over. Yeah, he got three months. Yeah. Just go full immersion, learn some French. Another theory was briefly explored while Thomas was in prison. A man named William Cresswell, who was an inmate of a Sydney mental asylum, claimed that he was Arthur Orton. Oh. There were circumstantial evidence that indicated some can.

connection with Orton, but nothing came of this claim. There were obviously some uncertainties and inconsistencies with the entire story. To explain the degree of facial resemblance between Thomas and the Titchbourne family, some people speculated that Orton's mother, a woman named Mary Kent, was an illegitimate daughter of Sir Henry Titchbourne, Roger Titchbourne's grandfather. So they're saying maybe he was like an illegitimate family member. Which is why there was some resemblance. Yeah.

And while he had the weird, weird wang. Oh. Not running the family. Yeah. And I'll... Forget about the weird wang. An alternative story was that Mary Kent was seduced by James Titchbourne, making Orton and Roger half-brothers.

So maybe he was somehow a half-brother of... Gosh, that would be so wild. And then he just finds out about the whole case whilst living in Australia, he goes, all right, I'll pretend to be, pretend to be this, even though he might actually be a half-brother. That would be so wild. Other versions have Orton and Roger as companions in crime in Australia, with Orton killing Roger and assuming his identity. That doesn't sound like he knew enough.

No. To have, like, learnt everything and then hung out with this guy. That sounds like the novelised version of this. Yeah. Well... What point do you think he learned about the cousin affair for him to make that guess at the package? Who knows? Hmm.

But the claimant's daughter, Teresa Mary Agnes. So remember he had two daughters with his wife? Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask earlier on, were they allowed to live with him the whole time when he was pretending to be fish born? So they did live this life of luxury for a while. Yeah. And then rode the wave with him.

Yes. And his daughter, Teresa, maintained that her father confessed to her that he had killed Arthur Orton. Oh. There's no direct evidence of any of these series. Teresa continued to proclaim her identity as a titch-born daughter and in 1924 was imprisoned for making threats and demands for money to the family. So it seems like it runs in the blood.

With theories and doubts hanging over the case, Woodruff wrote in 1957, probably forever now, its key long since lost, a mystery remains. Mystery episode? It's a mystery episode. It's a mystery episode.

But it's widely believed it was Arthur Aughton. But it's a mystery episode. Wow. So the daughter is saying that he killed Arthur Orton. Yeah, he was Roger Titchbourne. Right. They knew each other in Australia. Dad killed Arthur Aughton.

Where Titchborns. I think in the end. And then she went to prison because she kept harassing the family to give her money. What do you think? In the end, it feels like he was a fraud. Yeah. It seems, is that relatively clear? I think my favourite detail is that he didn't speak any French.

Yeah. But the dick. But the dick But the dick If I read a book about this I'd call it but the dick But the dick How he's spelling but

Oh good That confused readership Oh this sounds good That's probably what you want I guess yeah Yeah Because you get their money Yeah

No refunds No refunds Oh okay That's on the front cover What a story What a tale And I It's amazing how little of that

I recall Yeah But That brings us everyone's favorite section on the show, I believe. This is where we thank the people who make this show possible our beautiful Patreon supporters. If you want to be one of them, sign up at patreon.com slash sugar on pod, a bunch of different levels

depending on what you're into. You know, you get bonus episodes. We do four a month, including a bonus report, a D&D campaign. We do like a game or something like that. And we do a movie club. The most recent movie club was about Paddington, the first of the films. It was really wholesome. And I think Michelle Brazier was a guest.

That's right. And, yeah, you also get access to the Facebook group, which is generally the nicest corner of the internet. You get shoutouts and all sorts of stuff. You get to vote on topics. Like, was today's topic of vote? Yes, it was. There you go. It was one of four put up, and it had, I think, about 50% of the vote.

Wow. And I swear I've put it out. up before too. It's so funny how that happens sometimes. The Titchbourne case had the popularity of a runaway train. They're very popular, runaway trains. One of the things people can get involved with on the Patreon is on the Sydney Schaumburg level or above, you get to be in the fact quote or question section, which has a jingle, I think goes something like this. Fact quote or question always remembers the ding. She always remembers the thing. The first one this week comes from Piper Galaher,

aka Prince of the Halflings. I don't read these out till I read them out. I should say that. And Piper offering us a suggestion writing, Howdy, Howdy, David, David, David. I know you've said you intend on reading the Lord of the Rings book at some point in the future. Just watch the movie.

They're pretty good. One of the reasons, yeah, sorry, I'll let this finish. Let this finish. We'll get this over done this. I'm speaking about Matt, not the. I think I remember you saying that for bookcheat, you often read a hard copy and listen to an audio book of the same text. My recommendation is that when slash if you do listen to these books, you listen to the versions narrated by the monkey house's household god Andy Circus. Oh, wow, they got the guy in.

They got the cirque. That's good stuff. Is it a Gollum the whole time? The gollum voice? The whole thing is gone, hmm, and my axe precious. Except for that. Is that kind of something? Yeah, that's a good reference.

He ignorated all three books as well as the Hobbit, the Silmarillion during the height of the COVID pandemic, and they're the single most delightful audio books I've ever heard. And that's a large pull I'm drawing from, just to be clear. A story has never sounded more alive or engaging than hearing his voices and inflections throughout the saga. That sounds great, actually. It also causes me to laugh at times,

because some of his voices sound like Matt's when he says, What, you toilet? I depart with, man, how formal is that? I depart. I depart with one of my favorite quotes from The Hobbit. Matt, do this in the funny toilet voice. I bet it would be funny, ha, ha, ha, ha. The funny toilet voice.

All right, do it in the toilet voice. All right, here we go. If more of us value food and cheer and song above ordered gold, it would be a merrier world, you toilet. Yeah, the Utah bits outside the quote, but it still counts. Yeah. Much love and remember to pack your pocket handkerchiefs. I'm guessing that's a reference to a Hobbit.

Oh, thank you. Now, one of the things is I do feel like I'm like, I have enough. Does everyone know the story already because everyone's seen the movies? But a lot of people do request it, so maybe. Yeah. Maybe people want the book on book cheat anyway. Yeah. But yeah.

Why don't you do that third? That one that I've not. heard of before the Similian or whatever. I think that's kind of like the Bible kind of thing of. Oh. Yeah, right. For wine, right? Even if you, I think it's actually, even if you've seen the movies, the books are obviously

so different. And even if you've read the books before, you can forget. Simerrelian is a book consisting of a collection of myths and stories, I think, about the world. So, yeah, I could do that. Big fan of Stephen Fry. Awesome. Love is work. Great.

He does a good job. It's delightful. He's like a king of the audiobook, isn't he? He was in the recent Star Wars TV show as well. Really? Yeah, as a voice of a robot, something. Bit of fun. Bit of fun.

Next one comes from Kevin Packrad, aka Lea Apollodo the Blue Blumo Po. I both said that right. I think you've nailed that, yeah. That feels right. That's music to my ears. And Kevin's offering a fact. fact writing, hey mates, fair warning. This will probably be the longest fact quote or question I will ever do. I hope that it is all right. And I'll just, just to warn everybody, Kevin has not

to put this into paragraphs. We'll look over. Okay. I hope that it is all right as I'm going to talk about something I'm very passionate about. What I'm referring to, of course, is James Joyce in the recent episode you did. Not just his horny letters, although I was aware, but I'm a passionate lover of his other writings, so much so that I've read maybe four or five separate books about the man and his works. But never his work. No. No.

No. Certainly not. I think my first fact quota question back in 2018 was actually a fact about Bloom's Day, the holiday dedicated to Joyce, and the day his novel Ulysses takes place on 16th of June, 9-104. Maybe Matt remembers that this is also the date when James and his lifelong partner, Nora's first rendezvous, took place where she pulled him on. I do remember that. I think for a long time, though,

Ulysses was something that called to my literary sense since before the time I was in high school. After many failed attempts, I've since managed to finally read the book all the way through starting in the second half of my last year in college when I bought the Cambridge Centenary edition, which is a giant copy of the book, that I decided to lug around campus like I was Sisyphus or something

and I like attention. It has earned the status of... Excuse me, coming through, coming through. Sorry, I've got a huge book here. Sorry, everybody. It has earned the status as one of my favorite books next to a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and a confederacy of Dunsts

both are available in the bookcheek feed. Geez, very book cheap. That's true. Heavy, fat quota questions. Appreciate that after one. There's a new episode out right now, Sherlock Holmes, sign of the four. A portrait of the artist as a young man

is the most blatantly obvious, but throughout Dubliners and Ulysses, most of the characters are either A, based on Joyce and the members of his family, or B, based on real people that lived in Dublin that he knew. I've missed a bit here. This is referencing how a lot of his work is autobiographical. All right, gotcha, yes.

I won't go into all of that background, because there is a lot of it, but I think you saw with the dead that Joyce used his literature, almost like a therapy session, but I don't think he ever really got over anything. Joyce had this problem that was very insecure, very idea that another man could have been in love with or been loved by his wife Nora. In 1909 when visiting Dublin and away from Nora, he was staying with his former school friend

Brian Cosgrove, who appears as the character Lynch in his various works. Cosgrove told Joyce that she had cheated on Joyce with him when they were young. younger, which was a lie, and Joyce ostensibly had a mental breakdown. Cosgrove made this accusation of jealousy over Joyce's success with Nora, but Joyce took it very seriously and very nearly ending their relationship and writing a series of depressed letters to her over the course of a day. Oh my God, we are, I think we're over halfway here. James Joyce would be proud.

But it's still this one paragraph. I've lost myself again. It's a real stream of consciousness coming out. That's right. He eventually gets over it, but it is funny because the idea of being a cuckold, weirdly enough, is a big part of his work. Ulysses follows Leopold Bloom, a middle-aged ad canvasser who avoids going home because he knows his wife has plans to cheat on him, and he does nothing about it. There are various reasons why he does this, and talking about Ulysses can get very complicated, very fast. So I will just say that Bloom is supposed to be Joyce, albeit an older version. Stephen Day Dulles, Joyce's literary alter ego from a portrait, is also a main character in Ulysses.

Bloom takes sense of stage throughout the majority of the book, but in this sort of way, the book acts as an opportunity for those two characters to meet. The book takes place over a single day, so you watch this the whole time, as these characters pass each other by and wait until they actually meet. The meeting is also based on something that happened to Joyce, but the whole point is that Joyce is writing about who he was and the person he wants to be. At the time, Joyce said that if he was tired of Stephen and was much more interested in Bloom as a character, and I will agree that Bloom is the best part of the book,

partially because he is funny and has weird thoughts, but also because he is kind and flawed protagonist. The focal point between the two characters is Molly, Bloom's wife, who is very obviously Nora, and it turns out that the book is just one long and complicated love letter to her. I don't think I've ever seen someone so in love or so insecure, but I love the book anyways. It would be a challenge, but it would make for a great few episodes on book cheat one day.

I don't know. I've done most of it here today. I don't know how Dave would do it, but there are several resources out there that you can use to help you through it. Cheers and thank you for indulging in this madness. Hey, thank you, Kevin Packrad. Two bookshade requests. They're both long ones, the Lord of the Rings and Nacusies.

Yes, I reckon maybe due to the length of that one, maybe we'll just do the two of the fact quotes questions today. And move on to the next section of the two. Thanks so much to Kevin and Piper for their Sydney-Schenberg support and their facts, quotes and questions. Next thing we like to do, it was shout out to a few of great supporters. Jess normally comes up with a bit of a game based on the topic at hand. Yeah, I thought, what about the people that they are impersonating? Yes. Okay, great, yes.

So a baron or it could be, I mean, it could be a non-baron. Yeah, it could be a non-baron. The two kinds of people. Someone very specific. Non-baron. How about I read out the names? Dave says the real identity, which is just them, I guess. again. I'll say the address. You say the real identity.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. And Jess, you give us who they're impersonating. Got it. All right, from Dunfermeline in Fifth in Great Britain. Maybe five. It's Beth. Beth is trying to assume the identity of John Hamm. Really? Oh, my God. I mean. Do you want some madman money? If you can pull it off. Good luck to you. Yeah, there is a resemblance.

Yeah, okay. Nice. So you're saying Beth is hot. Yeah. Classically handsome. Classically handsome. Probably a bit of a douchebag. Not your value.

Oh, really? Not Ben. John Hamm. Is he? I reckon. What a shame. He seems like fun. We've heard that opinion from just before.

Oh, okay. He was in a phrasing. We talked about in phrasing the bars in a Brendan Fraser movie. Oh, I think we've also had friends who have been at a party with him and have given me that impression. Yeah, I've parted with a ham. Yeah. A little slice.

Yeah, I don't know. Just based on that story, whoever the friend is, I think they might sound like a wanker. And you know what? Yeah, thinking back, yeah. All right, I'm a wanker. So I don't know if I judge you. I don't know how well I take that person's opinions. Can I wait to find out about this.

Next up from Lexington in Kentucky. Oh, a city that we've talked about in a few previous episodes, I think maybe including the the cocaine bear. Oh, right, yes. And the, uh, that, that story about the art thieves, no, the book. They, they stole that book of animal art. I can't remember what that episode was called. I did it.

That was a good one. Anyway, I think that was, there was time in Lexington there. And now we're talking about the resident Brett F. Oh, there's something about someone who won't give the full surname that makes me think, we're involved in one of those crimes. Yeah. Let us know, Brett. And the next crime.

We won't snitch. Yay. Come on, Brett. And the next crime is stealing the identity of Robert Danny Jr. Oh, okay. Okay. Cocaine bear himself. Yeah.

Not anymore. Not anymore. Betty Ford sort of that. Former cocaine bear. Yes. Maybe the F is Ford and it's Brady Ford. Brady Ford. Thank you so much, Brett.

From Powell. Pell! In Tennessee. It's Brad. Brad. Brad's actually trying to go undercover as Glenn Powell. Oh, all these people, my goodness, not their value, but very good looking. Is he pulling it off?

He could pull it off. He's bloody, I should just let me tell you, Glenn Powell can pull it off. What's like that? Nice on Brad. Thank you so much. Brad, from My land in South Australia. It's Rory Marchant. Queen Elizabeth.

Oh, yeah. First or second? Second. Oh, okay. Yeah. The current queen. Current queen. Yeah, that's honestly.

You'd get more respect to you, the current queen than one from a few hundred years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Come back. Wait, why is, who's this on my throne? Who the hell is that? I'm still the queen.

A few hundred years later. When was the first Elizabeth? Yeah, a few hundred years ago. My God. She still looks good. Rory Marchant. From Toronto in Ontario. Canada.

Eva with an E, E-V-A, Eva. Actually, an impersonator, an imposter of one of our favorite Canadian Americans, Brendan Fraser. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Yeah.

Once again, hot. Hot man. Not the value. What's going on in my brain at the moment? Hot man? I think they're... Oh, yeah. I'm picturing a conga line of all these men.

Yeah, yeah. I'm at the front of the conga line. And in the middle, coin Elizabeth the second. And she's having to go down. She's grabbing onto Glenn Powell's ass. Can you blame her? No. Next up I'd love to thank from burn in burn in where's that?

That's Switzerland. Ch is Switzerland. You don't think it's the capital. That is, would have put money on China. C.H. Oh, country code C.H, yeah. That is, and the person is, Anonymous Octopus. Octopus with a K.

Anonymous octopus That's the sick name That sounds like somebody Who's trying to Keep an identity kind of secret James Bond Oh big time Wait

Which Bond A hot one? Craig Oh yeah A hot one Not one of the Ugoes Not one of the other

So many Uggos Are there Oh Sean Connery Famously Not his value Not his value And nonetheless

Anonymous Octopus Well done I'd also love to thank From Hamilton Also in Ontario, Canada. This is Jeffen. Jeffen. Evan.

Evan. It's J-E-F-A-N. Jeffen. An imposter for Taylor Swift. Oh, my gosh. I mean, can you blame them? Yeah. You know, because T-Swift, I don't know if you've heard.

Pretty big. Yes. Quite famous. Gosh. Sold out the G twice. Yeah. Harder to probably impersonate the real famous people, but all of these are having to go all the same.

Pretty well-documented people. Yeah, so you've got lots of resources. Yeah, true. Yeah, you've got an impersonator recourse. You know if they can speak French or not. That's right. Before you pretend to be it. Yeah, you jumped on the wiki page and not really read it twice.

I don't think Glenn Powell can speak French. So, you know, you're lucky Brad. I'd love to go that way. Me too. Would you mind if I thanked from Leatherhead in maybe Surrey in Great Britain? I'd love to. And I think, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Shout out to Tim S. Green.

Yes, I'm thinking that. Who's the actor, Green, Tom Green. Oh, Tom Green. Because it's just an easy, like, it's changing an eye to a... Yeah, you'd never forget that. And if you say Tim and Green, people say, did you say Tim?

No, I said Tom. Tom Green. Check your ears. And, you know, like, he was famous for a time, but less so now. So that's probably a good one to sort of impersonate. There's a little less eyes on you. I remember you? Yeah.

Austin, Massachusetts. That's what I said. That's one of his famous misunderstandings from a movie. Maybe road trip. Wow. Yeah, it's probably a road trip. And finally from, oh, that dress unknown. Can I only assume from deep within the fortress of the moles.

It's Rachel Plowman, aka Jeff Bezos. That's a good one. You just got to shave your head and you're good to go. Easy. Nobody really knows what he looks like No, they just know he's got a dome I actually picture him like Pitbull Yeah

I picture him like Pitbull Have you seen Pitbull with hair though? Did he ever have hair? Yeah, it changes your life Oh my God Google Pit bull I'm picturing him Howie Mandel Yeah, yeah yeah

Pitbull Or the friend from Californication David Ocobony's friend Oh, I never saw it That might be Howie Mandel Oh my, is this actually him Or is this AI? Is that him?

That's him, babe. Oh, my God. What was that? People was so hot. People with hair. Wait, is he not hot now? Is that what you mean? Mr. Worldwide.

Mr. Worldwide. But he looks like a different man. Like, it's a different type of handsome. When was that, when was that shot from? Let's not get lost in. Okay. Yeah. Well, easy to do.

Oh, my gosh. Good for you, Pipple. Good for you. I used to not get it. Now I do. Mr. World. light. Thank you so much to Rachel, Tim, Jeff and Anonymous, Eva, Rory, Brad, Brett and Beth. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptitch Club, which Dave will explain

so well. This is our Hall of Fame, our theatre of the mind, where we welcome people in to a clubhouse, a sort of hangout zone with food, drinks, games, stories to tell, all sorts of nice things. We also, we shout out new people every single week. If we have anyone who's been on the shout-out level or above for three. consecutive years. They already had a shout out, already gave him a Mr. Worldwide type nickname or something years ago. Equally very funny at the time. Exactly. Now we get to put you in the Hall of Fame and you can't leave, but why would you want to? You don't need to. We've got five inductees this week. The way it works is I'm on the door, I got the clipboard. If I read out your name, you jog on in.

Everyone else has been inducted, which I believe is maybe it's hundreds. We're pushing up over 800, I think. Yeah, it's quite, but it's spacious in here. And we are extending. Yeah, always extending. It feels like, you know, when the band is playing, which Matt's about to explain is usually a band, when they're playing, it's like the perfect amount of people that it feels like a good vibe, but not like really crowded. If you want to stand at the back, there is space and air there.

Absolutely space at the back. But if you want to get up and be mushing against each other, mushing in the mosh. We've got a motion room. And if you, and for the times of a band isn't playing ample space. Oh, yeah. You can socialize, you can have some you time. We've got it all. Yes.

Sort of make that clear of people like, I don't want to go on the trip to talk. Club. Because this is how it works. There is a bar and Jess is behind the bar. Yeah. Grab yourself a drink. Cocktails Jess and has one going at the after party. Dave's the MC of the event.

We've got high tea this week. Oh my God. That's fantastic. Dave books a band. So high tea. Yeah. So like little sandwiches and cucumber sandwiches and scons and cakes and tea. I can't wait for that.

Just a nice cup of tea. Yeah, lovely. Great. And the temperature of the tea. It's really, really fucking hot. What the fuck? But you can add milk. Good one.

Or just wait a few minutes. Yeah. And that's the good thing about tea. And Dave, you've booked a band. Is that true for the... Oh my gosh. You're never going to believe it. What?

You know, I booked these bands obviously years in advance because of their schedules. And at the start of the episode, Jess, that's why I was so obsessed with how to pronounce the name of this topic. Because I thought ahead and was like, oh my gosh. We've got the... We've got Tickbourne. Well, tonight, please welcome to the rock and roll stylings of Airborne. Oh, my God. Airborne are here.

At least the born part was accurate. Yeah, I wanted to confirm that that was right. Just to see if it was, obviously, the Airborne were going to play regardless of whatever the topic was. Wow. Amazing. Huge. So a bit of classic Aussie rock and roll. A bit of rock and roll.

A few martial stacks on the stage tonight, let me tell you that. All right, so before we get to the after party, let's have the party. Dave, you're on stage. You're ready to hype these guys up as I bring him in? Absolutely. So hype, so ready. Jess, you're going to hype Dave up? Yeah.

Because, you know, he does sort of pretty weak wordplay. You are talking to a microphone, plug to my head. headphones, I can hear you. Oh, I'm so sorry. My confidence is already low. Come on. This is why I have to put my hand on Dave's butt for this. Okay, we'll get it on there.

And then I'll put mine on Queen Elizabeth, and she'll put hers on Glenn Powell. Oh, could I skip a couple of Showshirti with her pale? You've got long arms, I reckon you can do it. Yes. It does mean you're going to have to be pretty close to the queen. All right, first up, I'd like to welcome in to the club. Thanks for all your support for the last three years from Endeavour Hills here in Victoria. It's David Gloo.

You glue here. But you flew here, David, glue. Also, you're the glue that holds us together, David. I thought that was a bit of fun. A bit fun. Glue here. I looked at Dave. Jess's anticipation there.

It was fantastic. Yeah, I looked at Dave and I, and we shared a nod because I was like, you got yourself a home run here, my friend. This guy's name is glorious. How did he fumbled that? Did he fumbled? Because Jess gave me the look, I thought, I have to do something. She's not expecting.

You were right. And you did. But you are the glue that holds this society to get the David. David Glue. From Denver, Colorado. Please and thank you and welcome Alicia Beaton. I felt beaten. And Tilla met Alicia.

From Sutton Coldfield and maybe Birmingham, Great Britain at Sophie Rodriguez. Like from Sutton Hotfield. I'm feeling warmed up tonight after the energy that I'm getting from you, Sophie Rodriguez. From Jefferson in Ma in the United States, it's Elizabeth McNulty. You know, some people, they like, um, geez, what's the guy's name? Nick Nolty, but I prefer my Nolty's a bit McNolty. Elizabeth McNolty. Yes.

Massachusetts, this is where M.A. is. And finally, from Wapital in, Deutschland, I reckon it's Bastion Heckel. I've got a heckle for you. I don't come to where you work and say, welcome to my house. We're going in, Bastion Heckel. Yeah. God, he's good. That really long pause, I'm like, geez, he's put pressure on.

How is he going to make it feel worth it? But he did. Let me just tell you that a video just went viral of a podcaster welcomes heckler, not destroy his heckler. Jeez, he's nailed it again, back to back. Fantastic. If you have a little time to think, if you have a little time to think you come up with a goal. Yep, that's right.

I did it. In Brisbane, the other week, I did this. It's a quizmeister's sheeple show, and Ben Hunter hosted it, and Emma Zammett said something. He just welcomed her to stage, and she sort of did something like what you did there, and Ben looked at her and went, now, how do you think that sentence went? Oh, but moments later, he fumbled one, and we got to turn back back. It ruined him. Anyway, welcome in Bastion, Elizabeth, Sophie, Alicia and David.

That brings in an episode What is that? What is that? Jess, is everything there in a salad episode? That's the end episode? Yeah. Everyone panic. Look, I mentioned at the start of the show that you can suggest a topic

and anybody's welcome to do that at any time. There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website. It's also on our website. It's do go on pod.com. I like how you said it like a question. Do you go on pod.com? I always forget.

You can find us that do go on on Instagram. Do go on podcast. on TikTok and just remember that we bloody love you. Okay. That's from both of us. I'm sick of having to tell you all the time because you keep bloody forgetting. Okay? Make sure you got your keys, your phone, your shoes on and I love you.

Okay? Dave, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Later. Bye! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

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