Do Go On - 489 - Julie d'Aubigny: History's Greatest Rascal

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

Julie d’Aubigny was a French opera-singing sword fighter from 17th-century France who lived a wild life and I can't wait for you to hear all about it!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 12.19 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://theculturetrip.com/europe/france/articles/the-story-of-julie-daubigny-the-french-opera-singing-sword-fighterhttps://kellygardiner.com/fiction/books/goddess/the-real-life-of-julie-daubigny/https://www.lapl.org/collections-resources/blogs/lapl/julie-daubigny-la-maupin-and-early-french-opera Alan Westby writing for the LA Public Libraryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QaBYLAOaSY written by Jac Amari Mindelan for Extra Historyhttps://thepursuit.acitech.org/2225/features/the-life-of-julie-daubigny/ https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20191001-a-hidden-side-to-royal-versailleshttps://www.historicmysteries.com/history/julie-daubigny/26646/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's just Matt checking in quickly before we start this episode in the year 2025 to let you know that me and Dave Individually are coming to Adelaide for the Adelaide Fringe. Dave is doing his show Dave Warnocki dates the entire audience I'm doing my show bad boy. We're also both doing our podcast I'm doing a who knew what Matt should Dave is doing a book cheat all these shows are at the Rhino room apart from Dave's Book cheat that is at a separate venue For the writers festival, I believe but you can find out information on all this at duguanpod.com. And of course, don't forget about our live 500th episode. There are very few tickets left. So if you were thinking about coming along to that, get on it.

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and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dev Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hi. Hello. So good to be alive, is it not? Isn't it? I mean, that's all I'm asking.

And what you refuse to answer. Immediately defensive. Yeah, no comment from me. No comment from me. Personally, I wish I was never born, but that's just me. Dave, you just started your Adelaide Fringe run last night. How's it going? Oh my gosh, fantastic.

I mean, we're recording this ahead of time, but I assume you smashed it. We nailed it. Yeah. Absolutely nailed it. You had Sammy P, Rhino Room. We tried Sammy Peterson. We are, I call him Sammy Peterson, I think Sammy Peterson. You did say Sammy Peterson.

I know. And you were going to let it go and I appreciate both of you so much. I thought you said that, but I was going to let it go. We're early in the episode. We are at the Rhino Room for the next few nights at 8.45pm doing Dave Warnocki Dates the Entire Audience. I will date you. Sammy P is on stage playing my manager. Will he date the audience at all? No, but he will network with the audience. Oh, that's good.

He's trying to promote my career. I'm trying to promote- Love. Love. And using your phone, you get to tell us what you'd like to do next. We've got the perfect simulation of early part of a relationship. Does anyone ever just go, bone, next, what do you want to do next? Get freaky, I want to get freaky. I want to get my freaky on. I wanna get my freaker on. I wanna get naked right now. Hey Dave, I'm in the Rhino Room next week.

Oh, same room I think. Same room, same time? Well I thought it was the same room. But I'm just looking at your Hell's Kitchen. Oh, I thought it was the same. What are you in? Drama Llama. Oh nice! Who's the bigger deal? I think the Drama Llama is the bigger deal. Oh. I would have said Hell's Kitchen. Well, I don't like that pressure.

Yeah. I was really hoping it was going to be the other way around. I mean, Hell's Kitchen, you know, how big's Hell? How big is the kitchen? Hell's pretty big. Yeah. But the kitchen. But the llama.

Alama. But you think about the population of Hell, right? Oh. It's going to need a pretty big kitchen. Yeah. Probably multiple. But maybe that's one of the things about Hell. One of the punishments is not a lot of food.

What? Yeah, this is for the staff. It's a staff kitchen. I tell you what, I'm not looking forward to help. I'll put a good word for you. Hey Dave, after your show tonight, can you plug my show for next week? Yeah, I'm gonna get on the mic and say, I've got my friend coming next week and the drama llama is a big deal.

Bigger room than this one. Or smaller depending on- Wait, we're not 100% sure. We're not 100% Bigger room than this one. Or smaller, depending on. We're not 100% sure. We're not sure. But we'll find out. But yes, you can get tickets to both those shows. Thank you. With Adelaide, we'd love to see you there.

And honestly, tomorrow night, I'm doing a live book cheat in Adelaide. Oh my God. At the time of recording. What? At the time this comes out. March the 6th, as part of the Adelaide Festival of Writers Week have invited me, which is very, very, very fun. David, would you believe this? I'm doing a live Who Knew It with Matt Shuett on March the 15th in Adelaide. Oh my gosh. Isn't that wild? This is wild. How

about I put this pressure out? We haven't been to Adelaide with Do Go On for about six years, but if you come to both Booktet and Who Knew It, we'll know that there's an appetite and then we'll bring Jess, we'll make Jess come. Yeah, Jess makes us, well firstly Dave made me go last year and he said, if there's an appetite I'll come and then if there's an appetite for both of us then we'll bring Jess. Yeah. Jess doesn't leave the state for less than, you know, three years of adequate prep. I agree, yep. I stand by that.

So please come along. That's why I have the profile I have, boys. Diminishing every day. Just how I like it. But yeah, biotech is in advance, Adelaide. You got a reputation for not doing that. So, you know, maybe a good chance at- Prove us wrong.

Maybe. Can't wait to be in your beautiful city. Anyway, I'm doing the topic this week. Dave, do you want to explain how the show works? Yes, we take it in turn to report on a topic which is often, but not always, suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research on it, then bring it back to the group in the form of a report.

And the people not reporting don't know what the topic is going to be. And they also sit lovely. They sit pretty. They sit lovely. I was going to say lovelily. I don't know. That's never been said before. They sit lovely.

I don't think anyone's ever said that. They've said it. They've said it when they looked at Justin never been said before. They sit lovely. I don't think anyone's ever said that. They've said it. They've said it when they looked at Jess and I. About my tits! They sit lovely. A perfect height.

Oh my god. No wonder they call you Jess Perkins. They sit lovely. Because my name is Perkins. Yeah. And then. My name is Jess Perkins. That's why they call you that.

Because it was given to me at birth. Yeah. Like my family, it's a name that goes a long way back actually. My parents are Perkins and I think grandparents. How do they know? Yeah. Are you like the one they foretold? She will have a pair that sits lovely. Nominative determinism. Yeah. Yeah. At its finest.

And then anyway, it's your turn Matt this week to do a report. Lovely. Nominative determinism. Yeah. Yeah. At its finest. And then anyway, it's your turn Matt, this week to do a report. Like I said, Jess and I will sit lovely, but we also don't know what the topic is going to be about. And you always start with a question to get us on the topic. Do you have a question? I do have a question. The question is, what am I?

A dickhead. Incorrect. A beautiful man. Intolerable. I've got more- Incompetent. Yeah, it's more like the classic, who. I've got more. Incompetent. Yeah, it's more like the classic, who am I? What are my clues?

And I'll give you more clues as we go. Oh, there's more. I haven't given you any yet. Oh, I'm sorry. Was I close? I don't think so. Okay. I am one of-

Poor! Okay, just locked out from this first clue. Dave, we go to you. So excited for this. Here we go. I am one of- Paul! All right, you're both back in. I am one of five sports which have been permanent fixtures

at the Olympic Games since the first modern games were held in 1896. Swimming. Wrestling. No? Swim wrestling. No. It's our joint answer. But do you know, are these one of the five at least? Can we get- Oh, I thought you had that too. Okay, I thought you had the answer. But do you know, are these one of the five at least? Can we get?

I thought you had that. I thought you'd have the five. All right, no, keep going. It's not those. It's not those. No, we're loving it. I love it. So it's one of the five.

What else were we thinking? You said wrestling. Weightlifting. Have they done running the whole time? They haven't, have they? Yeah, no, there would have been marathon. He's now Googling it. Archery.

Oh, good one. That feels old. Like, synchronised swimming's not in there, is it? Yeah, break dancing wasn't in there. Swimming is in there. Okay, fuck you, Dave. Did you hear the other ones we said? No.

Oh, you said swimming. I've got more clues if you like. Swimming, weightlifting. No. Okay, we did art tree. You can keep going, you can keep going. No. Marathon.

No. Any kind of running? I mean, it's got track and field. Yeah, track and field is all, okay. Yeah, it's very broad athletics. And it's not track and field? No. Any kind of running? I mean, it's got track and field. Yeah, track and field is all... Yeah, it's very broad athletics. And it's not track and field? No, it's not cycling. It's not gymnastics. They're the four. It's the fifth one. Here's your next clue.

Okay. I demand speed, anticipation, reflexes, and great mental strength. Shooting. No. Equestrian. I was originally a form of military training and started to evolve into a sport in the 14th or 15th century in both Germany and Italy. Military training?

Finally. Speed. I am a homophone for the material such as wire, stakes, and rails used in building barriers. Fencing. Correct. I am fencing. Correct. I am fencing. This week's topic is the fencing slash opera singing badass, Julie Dobainier. That was like they're walking out on court for an NBA game. Julie Dobainier.

I said Dobainier. I did not intend it to come out like that. Let's just confirm as well. This is the subject of the topic and you're going to say her name like that the whole time? Oh, well, not like that. Was that the kind of the person you looked up to say her name for you? Julie Dobainier. I'm, I am-

It is a French topic, so- Oh, there's going to be a lot of that. I am 99.9% sure that I've put Julie up to the vote at some point. I haven't read much other than like, wow, this person's fit a lot into a life. I'm going to just, I'm checking my, I've got a little list. I keep of potential topics. Yes. We'll take this one off.

Yep. Taking it off. Take it off. It's been done. Get it off. Awesome. But yeah, like so many people suggested this. All I, all I remember is one of those lives where they fit a lot in.

Oh yeah. Big time. Love that. Love those lives. I mean, just the fact that she, she is, was top of her game as an opera singer and a fencer. Yeah. Is something. Just to be good at anything, I think it's very impressive to me.

Being good at two things like, all right, pump the brakes. If you're adding a third and fourth thing, I'm like, okay, you're an alien and you're not being very subtle about blending in on earth. So this has been suggested by a bunch of people including Darian Sablon from Pembroke Pines in Florida, Bob from Prague in the Czech Republic, Gregory Gritman from Nyack, New York. Andre from Brazilica in Brazil. Hannah White from Canberra. Kylie Richards from Bunyip in Victoria. Jason W from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Hannah Scholar from Launceston in Tassie. Nick Malthouse from Mount Gambier. Nick Malthouse? Nick Malthouse. Nick Malthouse. Jamie Alcantara from London in the UK. Sushmi Thar S from India. Georgia Reynolds from Norwich in the United Kingdom. Brandy Broyhill from Greensboro, North Carolina.

Zoe Beckeran from Mephreesboro in Tennessee. Connor Smith from Medford, Oregon. Chris Lever from Mexico, Maine. Tom Staley in brackets street with an alley. Tom Staley from Dyer, Indiana. He says, unfortunately. That sounds great. Uh, he says, unfortunately, that sounds great. So from Melbourne, Ruben Fala from Guernsey in the Channel Islands, Darcy Williamson from Vancouver in Canada, Milly Bailey from Brisbane in Queensland. Jamie Alcantara. You've said twice. And I want to shout out to Jamie because Jamie suggested last week's topic as well.

Whoa. Back to back for Jamie. On a heater. Whoa. Oh my gosh. I've got to look up to see whether next week's topic is going to be Jamie as well. That'd be amazing, wouldn't it? Imagine. Anya Koyas or Kodjas from Brunswick in Wanganui, New Zealand. Megan Castle from Oklahoma. Millie B from London. Daniel English from Sydney. Lindsay Marriott from Glasgow in Scotland, Dom Greenwood from Ilkley, Keiridh Wann from Mount Barker, Western Australia. I should have said and at the end there.

That is- What a list. I can't believe, I'm going completely blind, I've never heard of this lady and we've got what three dozen suggestors for this? Doesn't that bode well? That many people have seen this and gone, oh, that's a good story. I can't believe I've never come across it. Yeah.

It's that well known, that popular, it's awesome. I'm really excited. So cool. It's so funny, only recently, cause I was talking about it to someone and I'm like, yeah, I think Kat Stevens wrote a song about it and it was not. My lady. Yeah. It's not her.

Completely different. But it is like, it's Dal something else. But I just assumed, I'm like, yeah, yeah, like the- So often you make references to things and I can't help you because I have no idea what you're talking about. And I just wanted to acknowledge that I knew that song straight away. Lady Dal Bunville. Yeah.

And the person we're talking about is- Good guitar riff in that song. Anyway. Julie. Is Julie Dobonyi? Dobinyi. Now Dave, you're on a 608 day streak of Julie. Maybe I have heard of this person just mad as to saying it's such a weird one.

What about Lamoppin? That's also known as? Ah, Lam mopping. Oui oui. Très bien. I don't think, I don't think Duolingo's working. So yeah, this is not a good outfit, Duolingo, which is good because they're not paying for them.

Yeah, if they pay for it, he'll speak fluent French, thank you very much. Oui oui. So this is a wild tale. And it seems there are some blurry spots between fact and fiction. Love that. Lean in. Let's lean in.

That's always the case to some degree. Absolutely. Thanks for flagging that. I'm going to just fully lean in. Okay. Yeah, whatever. I believe it. It happened.

I really like how journalist Jade Cuddle describes her as quote, one of history's greatest rascals. Oh, that's that's promising. I think maybe that could be the title of the show. Julie de Boni, history's greatest rascal. Like just take out the one of. Yeah. Yeah. Well, how about by the end of the episode, you can decide where she sits.

Yeah. OK. On the ladder. Who would be your current leader as history's greatest rascal? No, present company excluded. Oh, then I've really got to think. Dennis the Menace comes to mind. Yeah, someone cheeky. Dizzy? Dizzy rascal? Dizzy rascal, yeah. Some people think he's bonkers. I just think he's free. Is that what he says? Bonkers, yes. Anyway, well, you can have a think. Iongo's yes. Anyway, well you can have a think about that. I'll have a think.

Yeah, I'll have a think about my favorite rascals. I'm going to quote- I mean there's a lot of little ones out there. That's true. Oh, that's true. That one with the alfalfa. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to, yeah.

I'll quote from Jade Cutter a little bit, but also from Alan Westby, who wrote a great article about her for the LA Public Library. And Westby writes, "'Many facts of Lamorpin,' he likes to call her Lamorpin. Okay. "'Many facts of Lamorpin's life are not known with much certainty. Her name is found under several variations.'" So there, a lot of her life has been pieced together based on a few letters and a few

court documents and a few bits and pieces like that. But her name is written in various different ways, including Julie Emily, Julie Emily, Mademoiselle Morpin, because as we'll see as soon as she marries a Morpin. And she's known by all these names, but most often now she's known and called by a maiden name Julie de Bonny or La Moupin. I've said that differently. I'm just gonna stick with Julie to be honest. Jules. Jules. Baby. Jules, baby. Let's take it back to the start. According to Westby, she was born in Paris or nearby. Like even this isn't known for sure. She was born somewhere on

planet Earth. Either in... Well, I think they've been a little more specific than that, Dave. I was saying Bali or nearby. Yeah, I'm saying... He's saying she's an alien. Early theory, early theory. They think either in 1970 or 1973, perhaps in between. Her dad was... Sorry, 1970? 19? 1670 or 1673. It's quite different, isn't it?

Yeah. That's the millennium bug that struck me again. Yeah. I was thinking, is she a Gen X? Yeah. Nothing's known. You know what Paris was like in the 1970s? No records.

No records. Oh my god. And she could possibly be around to tell us about it. I can't like it says 1670. Yeah, no I can't do it. But my brain can't. Um, her dad was Gaston. Oh.

Uh, okay. Cier de Bonny. Cier is like sir, I think in French. Uh, and he was a master swordsman as well. Whoa, that de Boni. Sierra is like sir, I think in French. And he was a master swordsman as well. That's so cool. Yeah, yeah. As well as a habitual gambler, drinker, and participant in other aspects of the nightlife. Is that cool too, Dave?

No, because gambling and drugs and alcohol is never okay or cool. Dave. But fighting with swords is fucking sick. To the death. Dave, remind me of a classic Simpsons quote. Can I, if I say the first bit, do you reckon you'll remember the next bit? Let's see. For your information, I'm Julie's father. And then you say-

The drunk is gambler. That's right. And who might you be? For such a classic fit. That's so good. who might you be? Such a classic. That's so good. With Tom. With Tom. Big brother. Westby continues.

Debordnier passed on his skills as well as his vices to his daughter. He also saw that she, his only child, received an education usually reserved for boys, and she excelled at fencing, which she took up around the age of 12. According to Cuddle, after first living in the writing school at the two years' Pellucine Bowie, she moved with the court to the opulent Pellucerve Versailles

in 1682. Part of her dad's job was teaching fencing to court pages at Versailles and he trained his daughter alongside the boys. It sounds like it wasn't especially noteworthy that a girl would take up fencing back then, but what was exceptional was that she competed against the boys and bested them, even though it was older than her. She was like a natural. I guess her dad was the teacher and you know, was in the blood a little bit as well, maybe.

Leopardism. Yes. He's tutoring her outside. He's tripping the boys over while she's... Yeah, yeah. Oh, she wins again. He's giving her like an actual sword and them sticks. Yeah, yeah.

There's her whole cork. She has a machete. She's hacking off limbs. She's got a machine gun. Huh? Can't keep up with the girl, eh? This is also the time that she took up dressing in male attire, which is something she's kind of famous for as well.

What, like? Pants? Pendulums? Pendulums? Pendulums? What the fuck? Oui, oui, oui, oui. Yeah, mhm, mhm, mhm.

That's not okay. That's not okay. Sorry. That's not okay. What the fuck? We, we, we, yeah. Oh, controversy. That's not OK. That's not OK. That's not OK. Uh, but yeah, she grew up in comfortable circumstances. Pants. But also, you know.

Oh, gosh. Her dad was doing pretty well. Gaston was working as the secretary of the Comte de Magnac. De Maniac. De Comte de Maniac. I can see you are the patron voter for this one. I am just realizing that too. Yeah.

Did you write in the description, this is a French topic and it will make me say a lot of French words? I don't think so. I swear I've put this up before and they have not voted for it. We want to save this one for Matt's voice. Yeah, save this for Matt's French. So that, his boss was the Comte de Maniac, okay, the Count of Armaniac. So just say that.

Louis de Lorraine Guise. Guise? Guise. Guise. I don't know. Guise? Guise? I've been quizzing all over the place.

Guizy. Guiz in the juice. Maybe. Might have been a polysure type. So yeah, this guy I was working for was a big deal. He was the Grand Acquire de France. Okay, Grand Squire of France. Shit, that sounds huge.

Ah, the equivalent of, if in England, the Master of the Horse, which I think is such a great title. And really, it actually, it gives me the perspective I needed because I wasn't quite sure of his position and power. But you say, oh, Master of the Horse. I go, got it. You got it. Salless King. I get it. I get it. master of the horse. I go, got it, say less king. I get it. I get it, master of the horse. But you know, for the king, he just looks after all the horses. According to Adrian and Bernard writing for the BBC, the grand, the grand equity was an

important royal officer in charge of all the king's horses. And all the king's men? And equestrian academies. Yeah, we've been led astray by whatever that jingle? Nethruon? Nethruon. He would have overseen both the Grand Equail as well as several smaller stables like Le Petit Equail.

Ah, so we have the Grand and the Petit. Yes, oui, oui, oui. Basically, he was the king's horse boss. Yep. Was he the king's horse boss or the boss of the horse's kings? The boss. I think both. Because he was master of the horse.

It sounds like there's only one horse. It's the king horse. So he looks after the king of horses. And then the king horse looks after its people, aka horses. That's right. I make the king comfortable and he makes his people comfortable. Yeah. It's a complex system, but it works. But it works. And who are we to judge? It's the 1600s. It's been like that for centuries. Exactly. Do you know who the king would have

been at the time, Dave? Was this 16? Yes. 1670s. It was the same one for the whole 16. It's one of the big ones. It's gotta be Louis. It is Louis. For fifteen. The fourteenth. Fourteenth. The sun king. That's right. So she was the daughter of the guy who worked under the horse boss for the sun king. Pretty impressive.

Wow. Yeah, he was king for ages. Yeah. Oui. According to Lauren Dillon, writing for Historic Mysteries, the start of her scandalous personal life began when she was either fourteen or sixteen and she became the start of her scandalous personal life began when she was either 14 or 16 and she became the mistress of her father's employee, ployer sorry, aka the horse boss, Domignac. And you might be like, oh, is that creepy?

Dad's boss, is there an age gap? Yes, it is creepy. Very gross. Thank you for getting in there because I was about to be like, that's hot. But you're right, I forgot she was a teenager. At least 29 years age gap. Yuck. Maybe more.

Yuck, yuck, yuck. And she's a teen, did you say? She's 14 or 16. So basically the age gap is double her age. Yeah, that's no, that's gross. I think even for Leah, that would be too much. The horse. If I was to do that now, I'd be with a 92 year old. Just saying. What age would I be with?

You'd be with a 92 year old. Just saying. What age would I be with? You'd be with a 92 year old. Matt, the calculator doesn't go as high for you. Matt would be with at least a 1000 year old. You're off. Okay. Have you been kind? Yeah, I'm being very kind. Yeah, so the horse boss was a bit of a posse piece of shit.

Certainly by today's standards anyway. I just want to on the point. He had six kids older than her at the time. Yeah, gross. Dylan continues. That would mean that a 92 year old would have. That's disgusting. Dave's always got to put in a term to understand.

Wait, a 92 year old could have kids older than me. Whoa. I mean, if she'd started young, I guess. Dylan continues. Oh, can I be a stepdad to people as old as my parents? Oh, I'll give it a try. I'll do my best. They don't have to call me dad. Yet.

That will take time. I will earn that title. Till then, I'm just Gav. I'm assuming we were playing a character there. Yeah. The character. No, you forgot Dad's name for a minute. Dav, sorry Dav. You can call me Dav.

Hello, I'm Dav. Eventually we'll swap the V for a D. It's an easier transition. They're calling you deaded. Dylan continues. He later arranged a marriage. This is the horse boss for her to cover up their affair. So she married Sire Des Maupines of Saint-Germain-on-Laye.

And this is why she is sometimes referred to as la mopin or Madame de Mopin. Oh, okay. Right. Because the old guy married her off. Yes. To cover up their affair. The old guy did what her dad did. The old guy.

Oh, gross. So why did he get to arrange a marriage for her? He was her dad's boss? I don't know. It was a weird time. That's bizarre. He was like a real powerful guy. He's like top nobility in France at the time.

Yuck. I mean, of course we're putting on a modern lens onto this distant historical epoch. Am I using that word right? I don't know. But yeah, you're absolutely right. But also- I haven't used many words right today. Why start now? It's almost impossible not to look at it through a modern lens. And if we were sitting here going, yeah, cool, sick, that would be so much worse. So I'd to look at it through a modern lens and if we were sitting here going yeah cool Yeah, sick that would be so much worse. Yeah, so I'd rather look at it through a modern lens and go gross Yeah, what a disgusting old man Yes, I mean definitely was yeah

I mean even surely even in that way the fact that he's covering it up with a marriage means yeah So what she's like 16 getting married. Mmm. Yuck. Not long after their wedding. I was a child bride at 33. Yeah, I was disgusted by it. And I still say to my husband, who's younger than me, you sick fuck. What's wrong with you? What did you do? You married a young 33 year old. You monster.

Not long after the wedding, her husband was sent to work in the south of France and Julier de Bonnier stayed behind. It seems that the horse boss did this. He sent the new husband away. So basically like you get married. So you're, it's all cool. Yeah. But I'm obviously I'm shipping off the new husband. Otherwise he'd be getting in the way. He's in the way of my affair. So he sent him off to be a tax collector. And yeah, we don't really hear from him again. Author Kelly Gardner, who wrote a book based on Dobonier's life called Goddess, writes, some accounts claim he was sent off the morning after the wedding.

Wow. Yeah, it was really just for show. Which is funny because the show doesn't really work if you are immediately gonna send him off. Yeah, totally. Like it must be so transparent of what he was doing. If somebody was out of town and missed the wedding, they wouldn't know. You gotta, they've gotta appear publicly together

a few times. Yeah. And then send him off. Yeah, yeah. Continue your disgusting affair, you absolute grot. Yeah. Okay? Come on, do I have to explain everything to these grots? So many grots? So many grots How did he become the boss of the horses the boss of the grots that's who we should have the grot boss

Westby rights accounts varies to whether dumb on yak the horse boss became fed up with love moppins wild ways or whether lab more bin Herself became bored with dumb and yak But he was a hundred and two years old. I'm sure she was bored with him. and Yak. He was 102 years old. I'm sure she was bored with him. That's right. He's so old. Did he just die from being old? He did it. He lived a while. Right, because if he lives long enough,

something's going to happen to his head. Just got to wait a couple of decades. So, yeah, either way, they sort of drifted and she became involved with another fencing master named Suran. Things were serious enough that when Suran killed a man in an illegal duel, dueling was illegal at the time. Dave did a whole episode about silly jewels at one point. Yeah, the silliest jewels.

Did you, do you remember any from this era? I wonder if any of this came up. I don't remember the episode, so don't feel bad if you don't. You don't remember the episode at all? Vaguely. Do you remember there was one where there were two guys in hot air balloons shooting at the other hot air balloon to try and kill the other one, which is insane. That's pretty good.

Jewels in general are quite silly, I think. Yes. What a funny way to solve problems. It's so funny. How about we have a chat, boys? But I think if it is, I mean, with some of the logic, we'll let God decide, so whoever dies, that's who God disagreed with.

Is that, was that some of the logic maybe? But then, yeah, maybe. But then you could just turn early and be a better shot. That's what God, God wanted me to do that. So. Yeah, so they, so her new sort of bow kills this guy. It's an illegal jewel. He'll get done for it.

So they flee together before charges could be brought. In Pursuit, and this is just a little aside, we don't hear from him again, but in Pursuit was a guy called Nicola Gabriel Della Rani, Lieutenant Jean-Ruel en police. He was the founder of the first modern police force. Was he the lieutenant general of the police? How'd you get that?

Do you speak a little French? A little. You know, just do it, we can go level. And yeah, from there, they lived a life on the run. For the pursuit, Cici Perez writes, in order to cover for their expenses while traveling together, the two would give fencing demonstrations at local taverns and fairs where she could perform, where she could publicly adorn herself in men's clothing during

performances. Oh, it was allowed to be a costume. Well, I obviously dress in a costume to come to work. Yeah, you wouldn't wear that on the street. Oh my God. You look ridiculous. All those feathers. All those... These pants. These feather pants. I quite enjoyed this next paragraph that Gardner writes.

At one demonstration, a man refused to believe she was really a woman because she was simply too good. So she took off her blouse and the crowd fell silent. Wow, look at these. Silent is such a fun reaction. Yeah. I can't even, my God, it is a woman. My reaction to just free titties would be, woo! Just silence. And that's a different time, you know? Yes. Now you're allowed to cheer for boobs. Yeah. And that's nice. That's a different time, you know? Yes. Now you're allowed to cheer for boobs. Yeah.

And that's nice. That's a beautiful time. Yeah. I mean, how do you think if somebody first said I was sitting lovely? Such a funny phrase. Sitting lovely. I know it was. That's real good. If no one had said it before, we've certainly made up for that in the last half hour.

According to Wesby, since they both had good voices, they also added singing to their performances. So they're doing a bit of swordsmanship. Love it. And then just a bit of singing at the same time. In the Navy. During this period of travel with Sauron, she had her first experience with professional opera singing, as Westby continues. Though she had no formal musical training, her pleasing voice, natural gift for music

and physical attractiveness enabled her to take some roles at the recently founded Opera de Marseille. A lack of formal music education was not a hindrance for an opera career at the time and her natural singing and acting talent and prodigious memory compensated for her own experience. That comes up a bit in different sources. They all talk about how she just could really remember words to songs and that was like, she was particularly good at that.

She's like, don't worry, I sound terrible, but I know the words to like 50,000 songs. Yeah. Here they are. Lock the doors. Here they are. Here they are. Strap in. According to Cuddle, the love affair with Souran quickly fizzled out.

The de Bonnier's love of fencing was a passion that would run throughout her whole life. She loved nothing better than a jewel as well and she killed or at least wounded more than ten men in doing so. The anti-jeweling laws in France were becoming much more strict at the time though and this would end up causing more trouble for her down the line which we'll get to in a bit. She is remembered for her talent with the sword of course but has an equally impressive career on the stage in opera, which is often overshadowed because of like the shenanigans she got up to, which I'll talk about, but I figure I'll talk a bit about her opera career

as well. But before we get to that- I guess I'll have to touch on her career as an opera singer. That's amazing. Yeah, at the Paris Opera. And just to be naturally good at it is crazy. Like someone goes, oh, you're pretty good at singing. And she's like, oh, was I singing?

I was meant to be doing a sword demonstration. I thought I was just doing fencing. Yeah. I was actually doing two things brilliantly. Oh, that's weird. I wonder how many other things I could be brilliant at. I'm also wearing pants. Brilliantly. Brilliantly. Yeah. Off the shelf, off the rack, these are. Oh, that's weird. I wonder how many other things I could be brilliant at. I'm also wearing pants. I didn't notice that.

Brilliantly. Yeah, off the shelf, off the rack these are. No tailoring required. Perfect legs. Um, yeah, so she was a real double threat, I guess you could say. Uh, but I, this is, of all the stories, this is maybe my favorite, one of my favourites and this is one of the ones that I reckon led to a lot of people suggesting the topic. So as the story goes, while she was singing with the Marseille opera, she struck up a relationship with a local merchant's daughter

that the daughter had come and seen the opera performance and they got on, A romance blossomed. The daughter's name has lost her history. So I figured, let's call her Celine. I looked up common French names. Love that. Okay. Yep. Celine. I wrote the next couple of paragraphs referring to her. It was annoying. So I just added her name. Apparently, yeah, she met Dominique while performing at the Opera de Marseille. When Celine's parents found out, they put an immediate stop to the affair, sending Celine, their daughter, to a convent

in Avignon. Get thee to an honour, as they said. Put her with heaps more women. Oh yeah. People are dumb. Oh no, you can't like women like that. We're sending you to a lot more women. Oh yeah. People are dumb. Oh no, you can't, you can't like women like that. We're sending you to a lot of women. Like, dumb. Yeah. Send her to like a gentleman's club or something. I don't know.

Where did lots of boys go? Or a gentleman's club. Send her to a job site. That'll, that'll put you off, man. Get on the tools. You got a lot of trade young lady. Um, yeah. That'll put you off. Get on the tools. You got a lot of trade young lady. Yeah, Dabonyi was underturred, Hatchinot cunning plan. And yeah, the details of the story vary a little based on the source.

The crux of it is, well, they all tell this story, they're just the slight detailed changes. The crux is that Dab followed her lover Celine to the convent in Avignon with the intention of breaking her out. Some stories say she became a nun, which is the best. Fuck yeah. But others are like she went through rigorous training. I reckon others she knocked on the front door. The next step in their plan, and I don't know if this plan was improvised, it probably was, but I like to think that she thought of this ahead of time. The next step, so she's found

Celine. Next step, finding a body. Okay. A body to use as a decoy. This is awesome. Babe, just put pillows under the blankets and off you go. Well, that wouldn't work in this case because they needed remains to be found. So, this is awesome. Surely there's a cemetery nearby, right? Luckily, there was a recently deceased nun at the convent. Perfect.

Perfect. It seems like the nun was already dead, but you know. Yeah, Julie's pretty good with a sword, let's just say. How recent? Pretty recent. She says standing over the body of a nun with a sword, let's just say. How recent? Pretty recent, she says standing over the body of a nun holding a sword. Pretty recent actually, yeah. So then the pair took the body and placed it in Celine's bed. Next they set the bed on fire.

Oh my god, this is exactly like the opening of the Arnold Schwarzenegger 90s film Eraser. You've been erased. You've been erased. Fucking sick. Sorry, again? You've been erased. First time was erased. Fucking sick. Sorry, again? You've been erased. First time was better. First time was better. Really?

Better than that? Yeah, sorry, was it Artie? First time erased. Now it's Christopher Walken. That's interesting, I didn't realise how similar they were. First time erased. Wait, first time erased? I've just taken in, you say first time I've added it in.

Oh yeah. I got a very mushy brain. Me too. Translating in different ways and translating back to English. Wait, first time erased? I've just taken in, you say first time I've added it in. Oh yeah. I got a very mushy brain. Me too. Translating in different ways and translating back to English. First time erased.

You've been erased. I like the erase. That's good. So the idea was that the authorities would assume Celine died in the fire and that they would be able to live laugh love without being bothered. Perfect. Depending on the source, either just the room or the entire convent ended up burning down. But the plan worked. The lovers were on the run for the next three months. They got away with it.

Because no one looks for a dead woman. No, why would you bother? She's dead. Double jeopardy. Double jeopardy. Can't get killed again. Double and dead. Can't get in trouble for making out with this dead woman. bother? She's dead. Double deputy. Double deputy. Can't get killed again. Double and dead. We're kind of getting in trouble for making out with this dead woman.

Yeah. She's dead. Yeah. I'm sorry. Is there a crime to make out with a dead woman? Am I not allowed to tongue a ghost? What kind of country nanny state is this? Hey baby, come over for some tonguing.

I'm just ghost tonguing. That's alright. So yeah over for some tongue-in. I'm just ghost tongue-in. That's alright. So yeah, they're on the run, but again, it sounds like the affair fizzled out. Her passion burns hot, but it- Doesn't it? And then she's like, I'm over it. It would be annoying to go through all that effort then to realize that, I'm bored of this. Yeah, you're actually kind of dull.

I have faked your death, but I'm a bit bored. Yeah. So apparently- You want to really be committed to someone if you're going kind of dull. I have faked your death, but I'm a bit bored. Yeah. So apparently- You want to really be committed to someone if you're going to fake their death. Yes. To make sure that this is for at least a couple of years. I'm not even sure I'd fake my husband's death, to be honest. Yeah, you're not that committed.

Plenty of efficiency. Yeah. A bit of paper, I could burn that too. This is way easier, and I get to keep my stuff. Yeah. Burn that too. This is way easier and I get to keep my stuff. So they're on the run but the fair fizzles out and Celine ends up returning to her parents which was quite a surprise for the Deons as they believed their daughter had died in a nunnery fire months earlier.

So aren't they grateful she's back and how about we put the whole the whole girl on girl stuff behind us? I'm saying for the parents, not that Celine can fuck her over if she wants to fuck. Good for you. Yeah. You know, you get a girlfriend. I don't give a shit. Yeah.

I'm saying the parents who obviously have a problem with it because the 1600. Yeah, come on. I hope they, I hope they. So how about you just be grateful your daughter's alive. Yes. And don't worry about who she was tonguing. Yeah. Or do you reckon they took her word for it?

Cause last week's episode, you talked about a French guy came back. I wonder if she could still speak French. Imagine that. Cause last week- Well, the nunnery was in France. Oh my God. So probably.

And she's French. Yeah. So I don't think she ever stopped speaking French. That's my guess. That's my guess. I reckon she got away with French. Yeah. So I don't think she ever stopped speaking French. That's my guess. That's my guess. I reckon she got away with it. Yeah. While she was speaking in French.

French kisses. Oh! Is that how you do them? With closed pursed lips? And just in quick succession. Oh, kiss me French style. Dave, please. So Celine's re-emergence led to the full story coming out,

which in turn led the Parliament of Eau-en-Provence casting its judgment on her. De Bonjie, that is. Caught in a cuddle, De Bonjie was later charged with kidnapping, body snatching, and arson, and was sentenced to death by fire. That is full on. That is full on. But also, Celine, I guess I understand you guys are fizzled.

You don't have to go, Gavin. Okay? Still a very romantic gesture. Yeah. To kill a nun. Yes. Use her body. Set fire to the body.

Allegedly kill a nun. Probably. We're alleging that. We're alleging that that No one else did Okay Relationship fizzled bit of fun though. Yeah, sometimes you have to do stuff for the plot. Mm-hmm That's what young people are saying these days do it for the plot. Yeah, you know Fuck and else you'd have to go

But I think just her reemerging must have made them go, well, who's that body in the fire? And they, you know, maybe she didn't necessarily squeal. If you know what I mean? Maybe. Well, that's why it fizzled out. There was no squeal. You gotta have that. So she's been sentenced to death by fire. That's full on. But they don't mean firing squad, do they? No.

Just a bit of fire. Yes. Burning it. At the stake. Have this until you die. Have it. Yeah. That's an awful way to go.

This verdict was brought down without having her in custody, though. They hadn't caught her. Yeah. So the sentencing was done in absentia. And according to Gardner, this was done under the name Sierre de Melbin, as in sir, as in, you know, she was charged as a man. Why? Well, according to Gardner, the judges couldn't quite admit the possibility of one woman abducting

another, let alone from a convent. Yeah. So it must have been a man. Yeah. This was quite a big crime. A man must have done that. We think a woman did a crime like this. Come on. You sound stupid.

You sound stupid. Just listen to yourself. Listen to yourself. While a fugitive, she moved to Paris, where she bumped into a man named Grand Dalby. Sorry? Count Dalby. Sorry? Count of Albert. Count of, Count of. So Count Albert in Paris, got it.

Count of Dalby. In. In Paris. Uh-huh. Paris, yeah. Paris, Paris. Do you imagine, it's like D. Albert. Yeah.

Would that Albert become Albert or something like that? Well, they would say Albert. Yeah. Comme d'Albert. So d'Albert challenged her to a duel. They bumped, like, I think they literally bumped into each other walking past. Oh, like. And he goes, I challenged thee to a duel. And he doesn't realize that she's a woman. She's wearing pants. And she easily defeated him and then helped him treat his wounds and nurse him back to health. Then the two became lovers briefly before becoming lifelong friends.

Oh, that's nice. What a meet cute. Is that what that is? That's a meet cute. She sounds like she must be so charismatic. Everybody who meets her and wants to kill her then wants to fuck her. Yeah, they're confused. Like, I don't know what I want to do.

I want to do something to you. I want to do something. God, you're so sexy. Yeah, she sounds so... Is there a TV show just episodic, like, Xena style, following this character just traveling around? But it's got to be like an after 9pm kind of show. Probably after midnight kind of show because it gets...

It's sexy. But like, each week there's like a new adventure slash a new lover. Like, that's fun. Imagine this, but like, Bridgerton. What sort of time period is Bridgerton? Regency, sort of 1800s. Yeah, this is even earlier. Yeah.

But imagine that, she's off on her adventures. And then? So Regency's 1800s. What are 1600s that have a word like that? What's this, French aristocracy? but that's a lot of big... But the Sun King, he's very famous, he's on the throne for like 60 years or something. Wow. Bloody hell.

Wow. Wow. Owen Wilson thinks that's cool. And I did say earlier that the French Revolution was only a couple of decades away, but that's actually the next century. So this guy that we had at the start will have to live over a hundred years to make it, to have his head cut off I really like that you waited long enough to get tweets. Yeah. Yeah. I know well

I wasn't gonna mention it, but now we're talking about the Sun King again because he was key. You've changed you've grown years ago You'd have been like can you I need you to add out that bit where I said a date a bit wrong I don't want to look like a fool. Yeah. Well, I did wrong. I don't want to look like a fool. Yeah. Well, I did. Come at me, tweet me. I don't even read it anymore. Paris in Paris in Paris. She also started a relationship with opera singer, Gabrielle Vincent. Gabrielle Vincent, Fever Nard.

How would you say Fever Nard with a French? Gabrielle Gabrielle Gabrielle. Gabrielle. Gabrielle. Vincent. Fevignard. Oi Fevers. Fevignard. Anyway. Okay. GVT.

Is this a Gabriel or a Gabrielle? Do you know what I mean? Oh my god. Male or female? Male. Okay. Thank you. And then answer your own female? Male. Okay, thank you.

And then answer your own question. Gabriel. Okay, it's Gabriel. What was I saying, Gabriel? I was just checking. So according to Cuddle, GVT auditioned for the Paris Opera and was hired right away.

This is that guy, Gabriel. Yeah. I'll just say Gabriel. Infatuated with his new love, of course, as everyone is. Everyone is obsessed with her. God. Must be nice. He also, he heard her sing. Can you imagine being that enigmatic? Imagine. It sounds, doesn't it sound a bit like it'd be a nightmare? You're like, I really just want a little- It seems like she wants to fuck too though. Oh, that's true. Yes, but-

I made a bit of a vow to myself. Just this week I said, I'm going to try and say fuck less on the podcast. And I'm really letting them fly today. So far you're sticking to that vow. You have sworn a lot less today than usual. Yeah, that's true. Just kidding. Just kidding. Because your math is filth.

Yeah. It's not very ladylike, is it? Very unbecoming of the lady. I'm glad you're only using that F slur this time, Brando. Um, according to Cuddle, wait, I've said this- Every time you say it, it makes me think of Cuddle. Cuddle, that's nice. Like it's not cuddle, it's cuddle. Yeah, cause reading it, I think Cuddle fish, but Cuddle's way nicer.

Yeah. Um, so yeah, he's infatuated. He, he realizes she's got a bit of a singing voice as well, like he does. Cuddles made nice. Yeah. So he's infatuated. He realizes she's got a bit of a singing voice as well, like he does. So, when he goes to audition for the Paris Opera, he's hired right away and he says, I'll join as long as my girlfriend gets to audition as well. Here's the thing though, based on how her relationships go and they fizzle. Now you're working together.

That's right. You're both on a contract. Yeah. And you've you've just split up. It's fresh. It's raw. And she's probably straight onto the next person. Yes. And that's not a judgment. I'm saying like you you go girl. Because people are in love with her. And she's also pretty happy to give that love out, you

know? She's got an appetite. Oh yeah. Okay. I'm just saying, Gabriel, be careful here. Yeah, mate. Come on. The opera reluctantly obliged and gave her an audition as well.

And Cuddle writes, after realising talented she was, because remember, she's still on the run from the laws. She's meant to be dying by fire. If she's caught. Oh yeah. Um, but they realized how talented she was. Cuddle writes the opera helped persuade the king to lift the death sentence so that she could join them.

Cause the director of the opera just fell in love. That's absurd. Please, sir, you have to. She's so pretty. Let her go. Please. She's so pretty. I want to smooch her. Please.

It would be a crime to take this talent. I want a French kisser. Away. Plus, yeah, who you put to death, that was a man. This is not a man. This clearly not a man. Not a man. Must have been some voice, right? Wow.

Do you imagine how good she sounds? Some voice, some voice, yeah. She became a star of the opera from 1690 to 1694. She wasn't like the lead, but she was, she was a great character actor. Oh yeah, of course, yeah. That's what I, that's what I'd want. Does a really good trade, whatever.

No, you know, she played a bunch of great characters. I don't wanna be the star. I wanna be, you know, backing out the star. Funny friend. Here's your name, kind know, she played a bunch of great characters. I don't want to be the star. I want to be, you know, backing up the star. Funny friend. Here's your name. Yeah. And this is when she took the stage name La Morpheine, which is why history often refers to her as that name, because that was, that was why she was really a big star is because of her opera career.

Wow. And yeah, there she performed for high society to much acclaim. Interestingly, opera as an art form was at that stage less than a century old. It feels like the kind of thing, oh, it's been around forever, but yeah, obviously everything starts at some point. Supposedly- Podcasting, less than a century. Isn't that, that's hard to get your head around.

I know, in 400 years people will be like, back in the time when... Do go on, we're actually early podcasters. Yeah, and now everyone. I mean, it feels like we've done some episodes and went for a century. History of snakier of a football club. But in 400 years time, like opera, this will be considered high art that you have to pay a large ticket price for. And young people go, oh no. The name Warnocky would be like what we think of the word Shakespeare now.

Yeah. Yep. And what do you think of the word Shakespeare? I think, oh, boring. Boring. Can't understand a word they're saying. Get to the point. Oh, can't we put on a hologram?

Out damn spot, shut up. Oh, can we put on a hologram? Out damn spot, shut up. So yeah, it was apparently it's generally accepted that the first opera was the Italian Giacopo Peri Daphne, Giacopo Peri's Daphne, which was written in the 1590s. And it was even newer to France as Westby writes, after the introduction of Italian opera to France in 1645, the Italian born Jean-Baptiste Lully set about creating a distinct French national opera.

Louis XIV, Sun King, founded the Académie d'opera in 1669 and Lully was in charge of the opera from 1679 until his death, during which time only his own operas were performed. You liking how boring that is or the name Lully? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, For decades? For quite a while, yeah. Shit. But yeah, as a quirkier side, and Dave, I don't know if you remember this, you recognize his name, Lally, the opera conductor? Yeah, the name John Baptiste Lally does make- But, yeah.

Me. Do I know that name? Do I know that name? Hornie? Episode of- Does make me horny. Does make me horny. Episode 115 of Who Knew With Matt Stewart, we talked about this over at Live in London with, who was on that episode?

The Lawman. Oh yes, the most recent Live, I think you meant when we first went, yes. Yeah, according to Maddie Shaw Roberts, so yeah, this is just an aside about Lully. Oh yes, the death. Yes, according to ClassicFM.com, Lully loved to compose music that could be danced to. As many conductors did at the time, the Italian board and maestro would conduct his work using a large wooden conducting staff

in lieu of today's lighter one like baton. One evening, he was conducting a performance of tedium, a work. Tedium? Tedium, yeah. We probably- That seems about right, for classical music, am I right? This was a work he had composed to celebrate Louis XIV's recovery from surgery.

Rather ironically though, this was the night Lully accidentally struck his own foot with the staff. As Westby continues, his leg became infected with gangrene, but he refused the doctor's wish to amputate as this would prevent him from dancing and the infection spread and Lully died in 1687 at the age of 54. So he died because he, you know, death before dishonor or death before not being able to dance. And 54 back then is probably a pretty good innings. Yeah, not bad.

Whatever. But yes, that's how I know that name. Wow. See a doctor people's how I know that name. That's right. That's so funny. Wow. See a doctor, people. When you get an infection. He saw the doctor, he's like, nah. What do you know?

Yeah. I'll die painfully instead, thank you. Antibiotics, no thank you. You know what else stops you from dancing? Being dead. Yeah, definitely can't dance. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform to help you stand out and succeed online.

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the facts. I'm Susan Bonner. I'm Tom Harrington. And I'm Stephanie Scanderis. Together, we bring you the day's news and help you understand it with a process you can trust. So yeah, it was three years after Lully's untimely death that Dobon Yee, mate Lamor Pinn, made her debut in the December 1690 revival of Lully's first opera, Cadmus et Hermione. So they're still doing his opera even after he died.

I thought that after that guy's out there, I think I can finally get some new, get some fresh stuff in. According to Westby, her notoriety had preceded her and this is much as her singing talent caused a sensation at her debut. After finishing her part, LaMorphe acknowledged the audience approval by doffing her helmet and bowing, allowing her long blonde hair to flow over her shoulders, thereby inspiring even more frenzied applause. Look at her hair! Wow! She's taking off her helmet! I think this is mid-show as well, which is pretty funny.

Thank you. He's just losing that mind. Had they thought she was a man? Or is it just that they were excited to see her hair? Oh my God, naked hair. It's so beautiful. Wow. What shape hair do you use?

Her star quickly rose and she appeared regularly for the Paris Opera over the next few years. But as often happened with her career, she didn't get a clear on it anything. There was always some, she was, you know, she never did anything for too long before being on the run from the law again. And yeah, as her career was really taking off at ground to a halt with more offstage controversy. So she attended a court ball, real fancy soiree, and she attended dressed in men's clothing, which is, you know, a little scandalous. Unacceptable. And she was chatting to this society lady, you know,

a very in demand society lady. This particular lady had three noblemen trying to court her that night. In the end though, de Bonnier was the one who ended up hooking up with her. And this left the three noblemen fuming. They were PO'd. She is so charismatic. It's incredible. She's so smooth. She's rocked up.

I thought you were going to say, cause she's talking to this like, um, in demand, like high society woman. I thought she's going to be like, not, doesn't want to be seen talking to it. Cause they were all about status and all about being seen doing the right things. And I thought she was going to be like, I can't be seen talking to a woman in men's clothes. She's like, I'm a fucker. These noble men boring. You seem way more fun. So because of that- I love her!

She's, yeah, I think it's just, I've really enjoyed learning about it a lot. So each of the men, individually, the nobleman, challenged the Bonnier to a duel. She's gonna kill all three of them. She, because it was still a big no-no dueling, outlawed by the king, but she was never one to back down from a fight and Gardiner writes, she told each of them she would meet him outside, fought them all at once and beat them all. That's awesome. All at once.

And it's funny because like you can imagine it would have been completely unacceptable to challenge a woman to a duel as well, but that all three of, and then she just beats them all at once. It's so good. Like I'm fighting, hey, you've made me look foolish at this soiree. I challenge you to a duel. This is, you know, protect my image. Oh no. I've gone all in and lost. I actually think this would be a really fun video game too. Yeah. If they didn't die, you reckon they'd be like, we have to leave town. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd be hoping for death. Unfortunately for our hero, this meant she was once again on the run from the law. So Westby writes, Escaping of Brussels, she resumed her singing career appearing in the opera over there between late 1697 and mid 1698. During her stay in Brussels, she was the mistress of the Elector of Bavaria, which is another like big time position. Her wild behaviour showed no sign of abating though during a suicide scene in a Johann Wolfgang Frank

opera and possibly due to some sort of fight with her elect a lover, she intentionally stabbed herself with a dagger. Like it's sort of making a scene. Oh, I mean, I think it's been clear this entire time that she's crazy. Right? But like she's like, she's chaos. Yeah. So she's a rascal. She's a better rascal. She's the greatest rascal But like, she's like, she's chaos. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.

She's a rascal. She's a bit of a rascal. She's the greatest rascal. She is a rascal, yeah. So apparently, this elector of Bavaria is like, holy shit, she's a lot. And so, he offered her 40,000 francs to leave. It's like, I can't handle this. I love you, but it's too much.

Please have a heap of money. Just go away. I love you, but I can't be near you. Why won't anyone pay me to leave? I would go in a heartbeat. But apparently she threw the money at his feet. She didn't take it. No.

Pitch, take the money. Take it and then go to the next town. You deserve it didn't take it. No. Take the money. Take it and go to the next town. You deserved it. You stabbed yourself. Go to the next town and cause some more chaos there. Yes. You rascal. She did.

She did go onto another town called Nagardna. She stomped off to Madrid in a huff. She found herself working as a maid to a countess named Marino. Oh, they're gonna fuck. And she, no, she really didn't like her. So much so that one night when she was getting her countess ready for a ball, unbeknownst to the countess, she did a- Put kick me on the back of her dress. She threaded into her like extravagant hairdo radishes.

So it was just full of radishes. But the countess couldn't tell. She didn't know until she went to the ball. She's like, how do I look back there? Fantastic. Fantastic. Radishing. You're absolutely radishing. That almost makes sense.

That was very good. But yeah, apparently she's like, she's basically going, I'm leaving. Yeah. But there's a final up yours before I go. I want to do this. And she wasn't there when the Countess was furiously returned home. She wasn't there anymore.

That's so funny. Sorry, Countess. There appears to be some radishes in your hair. Who's going to tell the Countess that, you know? That's so funny because it's also quite harmless. Yeah, that's right. Those are the best sort of pranks where it's like, okay, so take the radishes out of your hair.

You're good. I'd like to think that the countess, you know, there'd be certain personality types and I think maybe Lamuopin might have been one who would have been like, yeah, I know. Everyone will be doing this soon and then everyone would be doing it. That's how we have radishes in our hair. Yep. You know, if this countess was more confident about it, that'd just be a common thing now.

She's a countess, she's powerful. People would copy her. Yeah. Idiot. So all of this, of course, is happening while she's still essentially a fugitive. Uh, to in France, she's still essentially a fugitive in France. She's wanted for, um, for triple dueling, triple double. Um, but are people like a woman couldn't have done that?

Yeah, yeah. At least three men. It must be a man that we, we just can't see. But she must have had the ear of the Sun King's brother. I think his name was Philippe because apparently he, I think he was, I think he was a cross-dressing guy himself. So I think in certain ways, the Sun King maybe was softer

than he might've been on such things. Because he's like, no, I love my brother. Otherwise, if it wasn't for someone I know, which is always a fun way to, you know, be a bigger. Now that I have a daughter, I finally understand that women are people. Yeah, yeah. But apparently his brother did convince the king to once again pardon her.

So she was able to return back and she started working for the Paris Opera again. And the woman who did take most of the lead roles at the time had since retired. So she was now taking on leading roles. So that period where she was on the rise wasn't the peak. She's come back and now she's become a legit star, hitting the peak of her career between the years of 1698 and 1705. But of course, you know, I've skipped through seven years of success there. It's not as interesting, even though, but very good. But anyway, more controversy came, was always nearby, which led to her being a household name, even famous beyond opera, the opera scene.

People knew her, oh, she's that wild cat. That's the kind of term the French would use. Doesn't make any sense to me. No, but it's a different language. You can call it. Well, good. How do you say cat in French? That's a shot shot.

Is it shot? I don't think it's shot. A wild shot is something very different, though. He'll show us. Here we go. It will be shat. Shat. Oh, cat, huh?

It's shat. It is shat. Shat. Shat. But no, you'd say shat and then a French person would go, Uh, I do not know who it is. You are pointing at the picture of a cat and you are saying shat. I do not understand.

Je ne sais pas. Uh, uh, stupid Australian. I don't understand. A Genesis Pearl. A stupid Australian. You mean shit. So yeah, so she's still, she's still famous, infamous. Wesby writes that she became the subject of gossip as well as popular songs of the time and her old lover, Gabrielle. Which one's this? Who, he's the one who helped her get hired.

Oh yes. By a Paris opera, he said, I'll only join if you let my girlfriend audition. Of course. He was still there at the company. So she's come back and they're kind of reacquainted. And the couple resumed their tempestuous relationship on and off stage.

During one of their spats, she bit his ear during a performance drawing blood. During one of their spats she bit his ear during a performance drawing blood during one of their shats right yeah so she's crazy yeah yeah that's a spectacle for the audience you're like whoa yeah she's probably just giving them what they want she is just their generations what's that boxer Mike Tyson the audience of the opera yelling at. Bite, bite his ear. Give him the chair.

Oh, give him, give him what? What they want. That's what they want. She is wild. Yeah. Yeah. During these years, Gardner writes, she defended chorus girls against lecherous barons and pompous tenors, became infatuated with the soprano, Fanchon Moreau, tried to kill herself, threatened

to blow the Duchess of Luxembourg's brains out, and ended up in court for attacking her landlord. Okay. So she was like... She is hot-headed. She's someone I would not want to be friends with. It would just be like you'd catch up for brunch and you're like, oh, the fuck now? Yeah, sorry. I'm like, I'm on the run. Yeah God, my mouth still filled with blood from the show last night. I bit his ear

Two options the waiters coming over two things gonna happen between her and the waiter She's either gonna order. Yes, or she's gonna or orgasm Yes. Or she's gonna or-ga. Orgasm. Orga. Thank you for your respect. I did not get it. That's what we all call it though. Orga. Yeah.

This is my orga face. Sorry, I'm late. I had to orga. It's natural. Let me, let me talk up a bit of her on stage stuff though. Uh, Wesby writes, I, let Wesby do it even. She appeared in over two dozen different stage productions, including operas, opera ballets, and concerts. She performed for the king like at little soirees

at the adversaire and stuff as well. She originated 25 roles for the opera, and existing roles were sometimes rewritten to better suit her lower vocal range. Though a soprano, her lower range and assertive character made her unfit for the gentle and naive qualities then associated with soprano roles. Instead, she excelled in roles of goddesses and strong fighting women, perhaps taking a cue from her habit of cross-dressing offstage. Some later biographers claim that she specialized

in trouser roles, i.e. male characters, but in fact all the roles she is known to have sung are female characters. Westby also writes, the famous diarist Philippe de Gaussion, Marquis de Dengue, saw La Morphe in a performance around this time and the writer declared that La Morphe had the quote, most beautiful voice in the world. Whoa. That's bad, Rose. I mean, he hadn't heard Beyonce, had he? Yeah.

Yeah, first singer I thought of. Haven't heard of Beyonce, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Who's what, Beyonce, Chop Lever? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Something I had fully forgotten about by this stage was that La Morphe was still married to Mr. Morphean And in these years, he hasn't seen her since the wedding night. Yeah. Well he returns at this time and

Wesby notes that quote this appears not to have hindered her extramarital relationships at all her bisexual affairs cross-dressing swordfighting all continued unabated I'll finish up with a bit of a bittersweet love story, a bit of love and loss for Lamorpin. But yeah, this is sort of towards the end of her life. Westby writes, in 7-Eleven-03, Chibi Cannon, an affair with the famous and wealthy Madame Le Macque de Florence-Sac.

Florence-Sac? Florence-Sac. I mean, it's in, like I would pronounce that if I wasn't doing a spot on French accent. Florence sac, yeah. Okay. But yeah, we call her Madame La Magie de Florence sac. Okay, yep, I'm gonna call her that.

But she was considered one of the greatest beauties in France, although she was also scandalously promiscuous. Until this point, she was only involved with men seemingly. But this was until she encountered Lamopin. The two lived together relatively quietly for the next two years, which is, Westby says is the longest continuous romantic relationship of her life. She's finally settling down, huh?

Yes. But yeah, this is why it's the bitter part of it. That's the sweet part. But then in May of 1705, La Maupin debuted what was to be her last role as Isabelle in La Venetienne by the famous flautist Michel de Lebert. During the run of Lebert's opera, De Vlo and Sag became ill with fever and died two days later on July the 2nd.

So she, two years into this, she's just settling down. Career's going great on stage. Then the love of her life just dies sort of almost overnight. Yeah, very suddenly. Devastated by the loss, she retired from the stage. Oh, wow. According to some accounts, she lived quietly with her husband for the remainder of her life. Other accounts have her spending the rest of her life in a monastery. Wow. Possibly, you know, a nunnery sort of thing. But would you prefer living with your husband? It's weird that, it's not weird.

It's just interesting again, that her charisma that after all that time, her husband's like, yeah, of course, move in. Yeah, no worries. Yeah. Amazing and bizarre. It's unknown how she died, but what was unbelievably to me, even though I knew it at the start of reading about her, I'd forgotten, but she died in 1707, meaning she was only in her mid-30s, somewhere between 33 and 37.

Wow. Whoa! Yeah. I was picturing how much older by this point. Same, yeah. Done so much. That's why I was like, okay, she's settling down a little, you know? Yeah. But you know what you said before we started, that she packed a lot into her life? I'm like, yeah,

did she? Wow. Like when you know she possibly only lived till 33. Yeah. It's just kind of hard to get your head around. Wow. Packed so much into her short life. Finally, Kelly Gardner wrote about the legend of Julie de Bernier after death and how her name has lived on writing. She's been the subject of many books and biographical works, at least one film, several plays, a ballet, numerous memes, and a French TV series. She was most famously- There is a series. Yes.

Probably not as horn as we want it to be. Oh, that's French. It's true. She was most famously reimagined in the 19th century by Theophile Gaultier in his novel Mademoiselle des Maupins, in which the essence of her life, although not her real life, became an enduring symbol of beauty, the romantic ideal, and decadence. So that is the story of Julie de Bonnier, a.k.a. Le Mopin. What a life.

History's greatest rascal. What a rascal. What do you reckon? I think she earns that title. That's awesome. She's so chaotic. Yeah. But you're also still rooting for her a little bit.

But she seems like she'd be so full on to be around you. You're 100% right. You're like, I couldn't handle that. You're too much. You'd want to have sex with her. you're like, I couldn't handle that. You're too much. You want to have sex with her. Exactly. And I just can't handle that. You can also understand why that why that Bavarian elector was that who it was?

Yeah, just paid him money. It was like, please leave. You're like, I just can't. You're trouble. Yeah. You're being trouble for me, everyone around. Just go somewhere else. It'd be the best night of your life with her.

Yeah, that was awesome. But I can't do that ever again. That's a good time. I'm exhausted. Yeah. He's like he's aged a decade in and out. I need a rest. Wow. What a story.

Thank, well no wonder so many people suggested that topic. Like I can't believe how many people suggested it, but that goes to show it was an awesome story. They were absolutely right too. I closed it. I was going to see what I'd, what I'd written down. Cause yeah, I reckon I have put that up for a vote before and I just had a little thing written 17th century, bad ass French opera singer and swordswoman from a wealthy and prestigious family had many love affairs with men and women, despite being married, jeweled

people who crossed her, went on the lamb. Like it just keeps going. You're like, and now that you realize 33, 34, that is insane. What a great story. I loved that. Like, cause you're like, she had two separate runs of being a star in the opera in, in Paris and in between she, she was working elsewhere in Belgium and Spain. Yeah. Wild. Amazing. Saw a lot of the world.

Yeah. What a life. But yeah, just a wild story. Yeah, it feels like maybe, maybe could be a new movie, surely. Surely it's time. Like they do a new Robin Hood every- Yes. Every four years. Yeah. Make it a Netflix series. Give it to, who does it, Bridget and Isn't That Shonda

Rimes? Yeah. Give it to them and make it horny. If I could just have one request. Am I sounding too desperate for horny? I don't know if you could tell a story without it being a bit horny. You can't because she's so charismatic. Everybody's, everyone's really drawn to her.

It's fascinating. I just think it's obviously very interesting to me as somebody who repels people. It's very interesting to be like, oh, there are people out there who people are like drawn to, not people going, oh, my phone's ringing. I have to go. It's fascinating. Yeah. So you're agreeing, world's greatest rascal?

Oh yeah. Dizzy's number two now. He's moved down. Sorry Dizzy. He seems a bit too straight-laced, I think. Yeah, well- He's not bonkers enough for me. This bitch is bonkers. Bonkers.

That was very good. Well, I think that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show. Oh, hang on. Let me just check my... Oh, yeah, it does. You're really good at explaining what this section is all about, actually. Thank you so much. I'm sorry, Dave, he was talking to you. Oh, well, this is time to shine a light on our Patreon supporters. Sheesh, throwing you on the bus. I was talking to Jess. I know you were

You're also gonna get me to explain the trip to club in a minute as well as this you throw a bat Well, you should just pass the ball around Basically people support this show on patreon at patreon.com slash do go on pod and without them We simply could not do the show. We'd cease to exist. Yes, we'd be nothing. We'd fade away. You think I'd still be here? I don't think so. As in on this mortal coil? No. You keep us going.

So the way you support the show is go to patreon.com slash check out on pod and in exchange you get rewards. As well as knowing you support the show, we give you four bonus episodes per month plus 250 in the back catalog that grows every single week. You can be in the Facebook group, which is the lovely part of the internet, the nicest place someone say. You get to hear about live shows before anyone else, get discount tickets, vote for topics. This one was voted format.

I think you said you put up seven or eight topics. I put up eight topics. I'll tell you that, and cause this was to the Sydney Schomburg level or above. All right. So every vote counts at that level. I think there was maybe half the people, like, I think there was maybe 60-ish votes. I'm not sure exactly, but there were three votes separating first and fifth. Three votes. Wow.

The only one that was clear to me that I, and I won't put up with the vote again for a while, was Stonehenge. One vote. Nobody's interested. I'm like that, to me, I'm like, I'd love to know more about Stonehenge. One vote. People are like, no. The people have spoken. They said, a horny sword fighter or Stonehenge.

Or some stones in a circle. What will I choose? So yeah, go to patreon.com slash to go on pod. We also have this section of the show where people submit a fact, a quote or a question, which I believe may have a jingle that sounds something like this. Fact, quote or question. She always remembers the thing and he always remembers the dog. So in this section of the show, people on the Sydney Schomburg level or above get to give us a fact credit question or a barrack of suggestion or really whatever they like.

They also get to give themselves a title. I don't read them out until I read them out on the show. First up this week, we have Kevin West, aka Brad Piss's stunt double, Bruce Tinkle. Just the mention of Brad Piss set him off again. And then he landed it with Tinkle. That's such a good stunt man name. You laughed so hard at Brad Piss, you thought you were going to throw up. Yeah, I did. And then it got even better.

Bruce, that's such a good character name. Very good. Hi, I'm stuntman Bruce Tinkle. And Kevin West, okay, Bruce Tinkle is offering us a fact this week writing, the town of Helzberg, California where I live is in the beautiful wine country north of San Francisco. But grapes were not always the main agricultural crop here. In fact, after prohibition, the biggest crop in our area was prunes. The prune industry had such an impact on my little town that Heraldsburg still has a collegiate level

summer league baseball team called the Prune Packers. That's so good. The Prune Packers. This town is also flush with cougars and I don't mean the cats. What I'm referring to here cougars and I don't mean the cats. What I'm referring to here is an affluent divorced or maybe not woman over 50 who loves Chardonnay and younger men.

Even behind her large designer sunglasses a cougar's laser gaze can burn through the pants of the pool boy. Ooh la la, Jess are you loving this? I need a moment. So how do these two demographics collide? Well, the Prune Packer players come from colleges all over the United States, and when they arrive to Haraldsburg for a glorious summer of baseball, they are assigned a host family. Oh my God. Many of these families are baseball fans or have an extra room that just and just want to help. But the Cougars also love to host a muscle bodied 18 to 22 year old.

What happens next is up to your imagination. Is this official stuff? This is... This sounds like fan fiction for the town. Are these... Bruce Tinkle, you're writing fan fiction for the town. Are they college people? They're not high school kids are they?

Yeah, yeah, college. 18 to 20. So it's not, yeah, sorry. Yeah. It's still a little weird, but it's less, you know, less so. Thank you for listening to my pitch for a new reality TV show. Okay. And thank you for Do Go On.

I listen so much that I've started saying things like, I reckon, and my friends laugh at me because we don't say this in the US. But boy, do they stop laughing when I call them a cunt. Love you girls. I reckon. Yeah. Thank you for taking our culture overseas. That's so beautiful. And I think that show could be a big hit. The prune packet. So is that all nonsense? That sounded really sexy. All right. Look, I was heating up over here under the collar.

I'm not even wearing a collar. Color of the pants. Dave, is the prune packers real? Yeah, I'm looking them up. Their official hashtag is go pack. Okay. Go pack your bags. I don't know his name or their name, but the mascot seems to be a guy with a big mustache.

I was trying to work out if that's pruney or something. Oh, that's great. Wow. That's a great mo. Prune packers.ers go pack come from mustache ride with the prune package Is there anything official about cougars in the town I've only looked at prune packers Not talking about Cougars While you're looking that up no nothing coming up, I'm afraid. Nothing official anyway.

Interesting. On the down low. Next one comes from Kate Elliot, aka Missing Mole Person Junior Detective Chief Inspector HMAS Squirrel Squadron 10 Fifth Battalion. Whoa. There's a lot going on there. There is a lot going on there. Oh my God.

We're getting a rare joke. Oh, don't mind a joke. Fact, credit, question, brag, suggestion. You can do anything, including joke. Or fan fiction. Milk fan fiction. All right. Dave, Jess, you ready? Ready. To laugh? Yes. I said, are you ready to laugh? Yes. Two snowmen are standing in a field. One snowman says to the other, do you smell carrots? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Their noses are carrots. That's like me saying to Dave, do you smell nose?

That's good stuff. That is good stuff. That's great. This is Kate's introduction to the fact quota question section. And Kate, what a debut. You have nailed that. Big fan of that.

Uh, Kate says, I love this joke. And when my work does get to know you activities, I ripped this one out and sit back and wait for the I rolls. No one likes icebreakers. Ban them. Yeah. Save the ice. Dave makes us do icebreakers every week.

And we're like, mate, the ice is broken. We are friends. Turn to the person next to you and say one fact about yourself. Yeah, two truths and a lie. I hate icebreakers. That's what Jess and I say it every time. Every time. And he never gets it.

That's so funny. I love that catch. She's like, I tell this joke to make people- As a protest. Then they'll be like, all right, we're never doing this again. Yeah, correct. Next one comes from Gary J from the UK in brackets, in a perfect Brahmi accent. Oh, I didn't read that bit in time, unfortunately. So I did not, wasn't able to do it.

Gary J writes stand in lighting lamp. That's his title. Brackets when Siraj is at the bar. Stand in lighting lamp when Siraj is at the bar. Stand in lighting lamp when Siraj is at the bar. Does that make any sense? Maybe. Is it at our live shows? At our live shows, Siraj was standing at the back.

No, Siraj was holding a light while people were taking photos. Oh yes, that's right. We had a very dark spot, especially in Birmingham, where we were getting the photos taken with some people after the show and we needed some extra lighting. Yeah, Siraj was holding his torch as was Sophie, but if Saraj was at the bar, Gary J is in there. Yeah, got any good remembering. Got any? Thanks. Gary J writes, a question.

Just checking to see if Matt has done that favour I asked for and paid for. Oh my God, I have not. No. Good reminder. Plus, great tour. Thanks for the upgrade in London. I'm also sorry to bother you for a picture at every show. I tried to wait till the end not to hold up the others who hadn't had pictures. Gary, Gary J. What a guy. You don't owe us any apologies, Gary. You don't ever owe us an apology.

Shut up, Gary. You shut your fricking mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut your beautiful, brummy mouth. Shut your beautiful, brummy. I've had enough. You brumhole. You know what you need to apologize for? Apologizing. mouth, Gary J. Shut your mouth, shut your beautiful, beautiful, I've had enough. You brumhole. You know what you need to apologize for? Apologizing. Yeah, or nothing. So politely saying, do you mind if I get a photo, guys?

Like, shut up. Of course you delight. No problem at all. Anything for you, Gary. And I'll get on to that favor. I'm winking at you, Gary. Is he, are you giving him an organ or something? No, I'm going to, I'm'm gonna smuggle him into the country. Oh good.

Which I don't even think you need to do like. No, I think you could just come over. Yeah but. It's probably a visa or something, I'm not actually even really sure. Because when I enter Australia, I'm a citizen. So I don't have a visa or anything, I'm from here. I think the British passport will get you into the country for a bit. Definitely, definitely, definitely.

But don't tell him that because he's paid me. Oh yeah, we'll hook you up. Quite a sum of money. In pounds? In pounds. Fuck yes. He took me to pound town and loaded me up, so to speak. Thank you so much Katie J. Finally we got one from Jeremy Gleason, aka the drover of

the podcast. Ooh. Jeremy Gleason, aka the drover of the podcast. Ooh. Jeremy Gleason is trouble. Dave, look out for me in Adelaide if he comes to your show. Uh-oh. What's going to happen? Did I tell you about a guy at Adelaide Fringe last year who didn't let... I mean, you're much stronger than me, but he would like... You were just about to finish your beer.

He's putting another one in your hand. Dangerous. And another and another. Taking out the empty and being like to have that yeah Jeremy had a great laugh saran Saran and saran really mastered his laugh I'll try and do it that wasn't right but yeah if I hear that on my show, I'll just go, Jeremy, that kind of exuberance. I love that. It's a great laugh. Anyway, Michael Jackson laugh.

Oh, sorry. I was. Yes. I was confusing the two. Michael Jackson's the one who would keep loading me up with cans. Oh, that's not good. That isn't good. Geez.

I didn't even think of the implications of that. Anyway, Jeremy has an invitation writing, yeah, I finally upgraded my membership. I hope this reaches you in time. Here's an invite to a patron catch up in Adelaide while Dave and Matt are in town for the Fringe. True to my usual style, I'll send out the invite and leave the hard organizing to someone else. Can't wait to see everyone. Oh, everyone oh and Jess yes you're welcome to join if you like love you guys can't wait to party if you want oh Jess you can come if you want you don't invite me you can come if you want. You can come if you want, Jess. Oh, yeah. If you want to fly over.

Yeah, if you want to get all that hassle. Well, Dave, as we're speaking right now, you're there. I'm probably at the after party right now. So, yeah, if you are in Adelaide and you're keen to catch up, send Jeremy Gleeson a message. I'm going to go to the O'Connell bakery. Oh, yeah. 24 hours a day. Oh, my gosh. What a thrill to have a bakery every 24 hours a day. Oh my gosh, what a thrill to have a bakery open 24 hours a day.

Yeah, I don't understand why we can't have that here. What did we do wrong? Why not? What did we do? Is it a law that it's not allowed? Because otherwise I don't understand why a business wouldn't make that great decision. Why wouldn't we? Why not?

What's going on? Anyway, thank you so much to Jeremy, Gary, Kate and Kevin. And that brings us to the next part of the, if everyone's over section of the show where we thank a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally have a bit of a game based on the topic. Gunum there, two jobs. Oh yeah. Instead of Opera Singer and Spencer.

Opera Singer and Spencer, Two jobs. Love it. All right. Last week, I think, we put all the work on you. You want to do the... Yeah. You do the names and Dave and I will say a job each. One job each. Fantastic.

I can do that. First up, I would like to thank from Montreal in Canada, Mark Schmidt. Dog trainer. Sl slash video shop owner. Oh yeah. Yeah, you could do both of those. Yeah. One is booming more than others these days, but. Yeah, but the nostalgia.

I mean, Vitals are very back, aren't they? Yeah. Very back. They're very back. Oh my God. That is very back. That's so back right now. You guys gave me a collection of Vitals for my 30th birthday.

Yeah. You know, VHS is around vitals for my 30th birthday. Yeah. You know, VHS is around the corner. Yes. Because for your 30th, 50th, you're getting a VHS. Yes. I want Fern Gully, please. VHSs. That's a VHS from me.

That's really cute. I like that a lot. I like anytime my name goes in something. Or Australia's Mansion, because you live there. Next up, I would like to thank from County Carven in Ireland, Stephen McLaughlin. Oh, Stephen McLaughlin, eh? What does he do? Uh, makes hats. And eats hats. No matter what I said, was it going to be Eats Hats or?

Well, I was going to say Eats Fish. I'm like, that's not a job. But eating a hat is, and that's okay. Luckily my mind looked after me there. Thank you Brain for coming through again. It's amazing to see you at work Who are you gonna pay to say a guy eating fish or a man eating a hat? That was an old timey saying I'll eat my hat. Yeah, if you do that, I'll eat my hat Yeah, that's a girl. Eat my hat. Well, first of all I'll eat my hat. Yeah, I'll eat it. Oh, if you do that, I'll eat my hat. Yeah, oh, if that's okay, I'll eat my hat.

Well, first of all, I make my hat, then I'll eat it. His hat is made of nachos. Oh, the nachos. That's awesome. Delicious. Next up. I got instantly hungry for nachos. Yeah.

Oh, God, love that. Please, can we thank, I'd love to shout out from Beach Haven in Auckland, New Zealand, Steve Van Beekhizen. Crocodile Wrangler. Slash Caravan Repairman. Oh yeah, again. Again, could do both. Could do both.

Yeah, absolutely. I feel like, I know these aren't technically his jobs, but I feel like your brother could be living that life. Yeah. He could repair a caravan. Yeah. He could catch a croc. Could he wrangle a croc?

I wouldn't be surprised. He has that vibe about him. He'd probably give it a croc. Wrangle a croc. I wouldn't be surprised. He has that vibe about it. Probably give it a go. But you also, you wouldn't hear about it. Yeah. It'd be like somebody else would mention it 10 years later and you go, what the fuck? He goes, whoa. It'd be that.

Whereas I take a shit and I'm like, hey everybody, you know, that's how we differ, my brother and I. Yeah. Is it, I have been meaning to bring that up. What? Uh, it's getting a bit out of hand all this shit talking. Do you reckon you could maybe pull it back a little? Just the pictures then?

Picture tells a thousand words. We don't need the description of that. So you don't need the picture and the voice note describing it. One or the other. Okay. That's fair. I have nothing if not fair. Next up, I'd like to shout out from Charlotte in NC, North Carolina, correct? Oh my god, that's where, yeah, where some of the fire trucks are blue.

And that's where Sarah Walker is from. And Sarah Walker is a psychologist slash... Oh wow. Die maker. Die maker. Die maker. Makes dyes. Makes dyes.

That's nice. Colors, you know, colour dyes. Oh, I understand what dyes are, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a weird way of phrasing kills maker. Makes dyes. Makes dyes. Colors, you know, colour dyes. Oh, I understand what dyes are, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a weird way of phrasing kills people. Makes dyes. Although that would be good for psychologists as well, actually. Yes.

Everyone needs to have a side hustle. And Sarah Walker is psychology. That's right. Next up from Melbourne in Victoria, I think Australia. Oh my goodness. Wow. I would like to shout out to Ben. A fixer. A fixer. He's a fixer. OK, he's also a professional gambler.

Oh my gosh. Oh. Loves Blackjack. I think, yeah, those two things go hand in hand. He's fixing problems for unsavory tops because he owes them a lot of money. Hey, I can do you a favor. How about I do that instead of pay you back? Yeah. From Canuck in Great Britain, it's Fee White. Fee White, who is a hypnotherapist. Oh, good one.

And a wedding crasher. A professional. Like for hire. Yeah, yeah. People say, I need this wedding to go badly. Can you crash my cousin's wedding? I don't think that they should be together. Yeah. Just crash it.

I need you to, I need you to object. Yeah. Yeah. With your car. Crash. I need you to object with your car. Like don't kill anyone, but if you like take out the marquee, we'll have to run away before the vows are done.

It buys me a bit more time to break them up. Yeah. Thank you, Fee. Thank you so much, Fee. But if one of them is going to die, make it not my cousin. Yeah. Make it the Grime. I won't tell you which is which.

Yeah, you figure it out. Next up from address unknown so we can only assume deeper than the fortress of the moles. Bailey Swainson. A jelly, uh, Wobbler. Jelly Wobbler. Jelly Wobbler. Wow. And I was going to say professional BMX rider.

Okay. Well, you've got to have downtime. That's a very, BMX riding is very physically demanding job. You need something to just like. Wobble. Oh yeah. Well, you've got to have downtime. That's a very, BMX writing is a very physically demanding job. You need something to just like. Wobble. Switch off. We all have some of the wobble. Next up from New Hope, Pennsylvania, it's Jax Z.

Jax Z. Jax Z. Oh, we'd say Jax Zed. Jax Zed. Uh, a sommelier. Oh, we'd say Jack's Zed. Jack's Zed. Uh, a Smellier. Oh, Smellier slash um, fish and chip shop owner. I just want to shout out that Matt did finally say an actual job. So that's pretty impressive.

That was good. Yeah. Did I say it right? Close-ish. I have no idea how to say that word. But like, if you'd like your fried flake paired with a wine, you've got to go to this fish and chip shop. Oh yeah. It's like a you've got to go to this fish and chips shop. Oh yeah.

It's like a fancy, it's an upscale fish and chips shop. Yeah, really nice stuff. Gorgeous. Going there you get a bit of barramundi. You can't go back honestly. Like pair it with a dry white. Yeah. Really?

Gorgeous. Is that what you would do? That's what I would do, but I'm not a smelly air. Yeah. Like Jack's Z. Yes, yes, yes. And finally, from Pocono in New Zealand or Pekino, it's Matthew Husband. Matthew Husband is a pasta master chef.

Pasta master chef. So like makes everything from scratch, but has three Michelin stars for it. Whoa! And an animal juggler. Wow! What kind of animals does Matthew juggle? Well, normally starts off with ferrets, little sort of... Small things, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Marmosets. Yep. And he'll build up to, you know, quite hefty beasts of bird and even like, you know, like donkeys. Wow. North American bison. I'd pay to see this.

Yeah. Moose. Wow. And you go, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hupup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup Ben, Sarah, Steve, Stephen and Mark. Thank you so much. And the last thing we need to do is shout out and actually welcome a few new inductees into the Triptych Club, which Jess is really good at explaining. Thank you so much.

I am. This is an exclusive, all-inclusive, fancy cool club for people who have supported us for three consecutive years on the shout out level or above. Correct? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's once you're in, you can't leave, but why would you ever want to?

We have everything you could possibly need. We've got multiple air hockey tables and one ice hockey table, which I don't want to talk about. I'm so sorry that they're all ice hockey tables. No, Matt! Yeah, we've got 17 ice hockey tables. I keep forgetting. Every time a new one comes in, I go, I want to make sure Jess is happy.

I better get it iced up before she comes in. Well, let's say like, even if half were iced and half weren't, then I'm definitely happy either way, right? Well, that's what I'm remembering now. But I'm like, I was so sure that you love ice hockey tables and hate air hockey tables. No, it's the opposite of that. I've got to write this on my hand or something. Please. That could be your your do go on tattoo. Air hockey and then ice hockey. So how it works is Matt's behind the velvet rope. He's ticking your name off a checklist.

We welcome you in. I'm behind the bar. I've got everything you could possibly need. It's all French fair this week in honor of the theme. Oh, lovely snails. Um, delicious champagne. Yeah, that's the same thing. And French fries.

Oh yeah. Got that. You know, we've got everything. I think they call them freedom fries over there. Is that right? That feels right. And Dave, you book a band as well. Yes, you're never going to believe it.

What? I could not believe when you brought up her at the start of the show. Who have you booked? And you were saying her nickname. I've actually booked the 1960s American band The Rascals. Oh! Whoa! Originally known as The Young Rascals.

They aged out. That's fair. It's like Little Bow Wow had to at some point go, it's just Bow Wow. I'm just Bow Wow now. But they're going to be performing such hits as A Beautiful Morning, People Got to Be Free, and I've Been Lonely Too Long. Ugh, Preach. Yeah.

And one of their other hits, baby, let's wait. Oh, that's nice. Okay. I just want to say we have French martinis at the bar as well. Oh, French martini. Delightful. What does that mean? Um.

So, martini and more French? Yeah. It gives you a bit of attitude. Oh, we. So. Shout out to our French listeners, of course. Yeah, we love you. So Matt's going to read out the names. Dave, you're going to hype them up.

I hype you up. Thank you. And we welcome people in and we celebrate them. We give them a moment in the spotlight. Yes. Dave does that with a little weak wordplay. That's why Jess has to hype Dave up. No, no, no, no.

And then hang around for the after party and a French martini. Can't wait. And the young rascals. Oh yeah. Well, the rascals. The old rasc And the young rascals. Oh yeah. Well, the rascals. The old rascals. The rascals. They're quite old.

Oh. First up, I'd love to welcome into the club from out Gambia. Oh my God, home of Dave Groene. In South Australia, it's Catherine Jane. Insane in the Cath Jane. Oh, that's good stuff. Welcome in from Bligh Park, New South Wales, also here in Australia, it's Rachel R.

Rachel R for really amazing. Yes. From Glasgow in Scotland, welcome Alan Kerr. Some people are Conker, but I Alan Kerr when I agree. From Sacramento in California, yay, it's Kirsten Kurtz. I love you so much Kirsten at Kirsten Hertz Finally from a Chuka here in Victoria, Australia Welcome John Ebert. I'm gonna give you four stars of the Cisco and Ebert scale John Obert

That's very good. You can't you call that weak wordplay? Well, I used to Not anymore Welcome in that honestly was some of your best work. Welcome in John, Kirsten, Alan, Rachel and Catherine. Yeah, you're welcome in, but you may never leave, but why would you want to? Yeah, we've got everything you need. You can work from home, from here. Yeah.

We've got really good internet. I think canonically, maybe we established recently that it means you're dead. I can't remember. Yeah, we did say that this is the afterlife. Yeah. And again, pretty freaking good. Yeah, come on. This is worth dying for. And either way, Jess, what do we need to tell people before we go? That we love them. That if they want to suggest a topic, they can do so at do go on pod.com or there's a link in our show notes and we can check out all our other podcasts as well. They're on our website or also in the show notes.

And we'll get like a, we made a quiz show. Yeah. Full production, TV production at Stubbio. Yeah, that's right. And that's available to watch online. Yeah. Which was so much fun to make. It's very good.

People like it. And you can find us on social media. Do go on pod on Instagram, do go on podcast on TikTok. We'd love you to engage. Actually, we mentioned the live shows one more time. Matt and I in Adelaide, me this week, Matt next week. And then I'm bringing my show to Sydney for one afternoon only.

And then the first two weeks of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the 27th of March to Sunday, the April, April the 6th. And we're, yeah, we're doing a festival club do go on show. Oh, that's right. We're doing do go on the quiz show. Late night, one night only 11pm. It's a Wednesday night. I'm just going to look at my calendar to make sure I'm saying the right one. Wednesday, April the 2nd at 11pm. Tickets are just 20 bucks.

And we're going to have some hot guests from across the festival. Yeah, physically attractive. Physically attractive. They'll be not very funny, but they'll be very hot. Yes. 11pm, tickets are just 20 bucks and we're going to have some hot guests from across the festival. Yeah, physically attractive guests. Physically attractive. They'll be not very funny, but they'll be very hot. Yes. We've done the quiz show live a few times and it works really well. It's a really fun format.

If you haven't seen it live, definitely come check it out. And also the festival club, those late night shows have a really fun chaotic energy. They're definitely worth experiencing. Max Watts was just like an awesome venue. Yeah. I saw Coheed and Cambry there. Maybe you were there too? I was there too, back in 2005. Yeah. Wow. What was it called before it was Max Watts? Hi-Fi.

Hi-Fi bar. I still call it the Hi-Fi sometimes. Yeah, I do too. Except right now when I feel like. And people are always looking to be like, old man, what? And yeah, my show Bad Boy is going gonna also be in Melbourne at Spleen. But yeah, you can find out details for all that stuff on dugongpod.com I'd say.

That's right. Because even if you're in the future, you're like, oh, I don't care about that anymore. We'll be doing new stuff. We'll be doing new stuff. We can't be stopped. We won't be stopped. Dave and my, we would have our standup specials online

as well by now, maybe. Well, we probably not, but if you're listening in the future, in the future, yeah, future, check your websites, check your local websites, check your local website for details. All right. Until next time. I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform to help you stand out and succeed online.

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