Do Go On - 490 - The Acali, AKA The Sex Raft

Episode Date: March 12, 2025

In 1973, eleven brave souls from around the world set out on a small raft for a completely isolated 101 day journey across the Atlantic Ocean - all in the name of science! But when the experiment wasn't yielding the predicted results, the organiser resorted to some pretty questionable practices. Sex, hot people, murder plots and more... this story has it all. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 11:04 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:The Raft (2018) directed by Marcus Lindeen:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8116574/ https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/jan/14/mutiny-on-the-sex-raft-70s-experiment-santiago-genoves https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-raft-chronicles-an-extreme-experiment-with-human-nature https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/love-island-the-raft-film-documentary-sex-experiment-santiago-genoves-a8591746.html https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2314372.The_Acali_Experiment https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acalihttps://www.pressreader.com/uk/the-sunday-telegraph/20190602/282033328683553?srsltid=AfmBOopPRoBMzuiWYuT_KLdrW3mz5vSG-vriz3z_ZmeLmMOssE9Ih1Gb Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, Dave here to let you know that we are doing some live shows in March and April 2025. Matt is doing his show Bad Boy at the Adelaide Fringe at the Rhino Room where he's also doing a live Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Then we're both doing our stand-up shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Matt is on at Spleen and I'm at the Improv Conspiracy with Sammy Peterson in our show Dave Warnocky Dates the Entire Audience. And this is a new announcement, we are also doing a Do Go On The Quiz Show live at the Festival Club one night only, Wednesday April 2nd at 11pm. It's going to be huge with great guests from across the festival.

Come out late and hang out with us even though it's a school night, it's going to be so much fun. You can get tickets to all these shows right now at dogoonpod.com. BetterHelp Online Therapy bought this 30 second ad to remind you right now wherever you are to unclench your jaw, Relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath in and out. Feels better, right? That's 15 seconds of self-care. Imagine what you could do with more. For a limited time, visit betterhelp.com slash random pod for one free week of online therapy. No pressure, just help. But for now, just relax.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly. I host a fun podcast called Under the Influence, where I analyze how advertising affects your life. Like, why does that ad you hate so much sell the most products? And what's the story behind the most famous Super Bowl ads? Apple chose our show as one of the best listens of the year.

Under the Influence. Guess listens of the year under the influence. Listen ad free on Amazon music included with prime at amazon.com slash under the influence pod. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On, my name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello. Hello.

So good to be here. Bit of vibrato there for you. Oh. I like that a lot. Thank you. Vibrato, vibrago. Cause you were bragging about your vibrato. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter,

but that was actually really clever. Matt's been singing a lot this morning. Um, and it's obviously rubbed off to me. He can't be stopped. If there's a slight silence, he is filling it with song. And it's, it's really fun. And Dave. No, you've inspired another song.

Dave. So unfortunately for you, you are not here in the room to be experiencing that beautiful, beautiful sound of Matt's voice because you are zooming in from Adelaide. I'm currently at the Adelaide Fringe Festival, but it sounds like the art, the real art is happening in the room with you right now, Jess. Correct. Correct. Unfortunately, by the time this episode comes out, you'll be back in Melbourne. But I'll be in Adelaide, Dave. Yes, we're swapping over.

Like we're having the same time slot, same room, just I'm there one week, you're there the next. You keep it warm for me, will you please? You keep it warm for me, will you please? You keep it warm for me. You guys, you won't be in the same city, will you? Like this isn't just like, oh, we just miss each other. It's like a scheduling, it was a decision.

Yes. Yes. Since the incident. They wanted us to go back to back and we said absolutely never. Yeah. No. Never go butts to butts.

Never go butts to butts, that's the do go on rule. Back to back, butts to butts, never. Never. We never will. We go dick to dick on nothing. Yeah, not since the incident. So yeah, Dave's coming from Adelaide, he's half an hour behind. Yeah, I'm bloody a decade behind.

Oh, hang on. They got Internet Explorer over there. Yeah, good on ya. They got 24 hour bakeries. They're in the future. Also, they have a KFC that's open till 1am. We don't have that in Melbourne. They're all closed. Do they all close? There's no late a KFC that's open till 1am. We don't have that in Melbourne. They're all

closed. Do they all close? There's no late night KFC. You never come across a late night KFC in Melbourne. It always closes at 9 o'clock and you go, huh. 9 o'clock? I don't know if that's true. That's not true. 9 o'clock, maybe 10 o'clock.

I'm glad you're excited to find a KFC open till 1. How much are you partying at the moment? It's gone from KFC to KFC. When we landed, when the plane landed a couple of days ago when I got here, the person announced the time difference and he gets on the mic and he was an actual mistake. He goes, and don't forget Adelaide is 30 years behind. I mean 30 minutes behind. And he sounded so embarrassed and everyone was laughing.

It was the best. It was so good. It's a good burn. Dave, there are so many KFCs open till midnight in Melbourne. Well, what about 1am? The one at Crown is open till 5am. Ah, okay. What a weird, like you're trying so hard to big up Adelaide and you picked a nonsense. Yeah, you picked a nonsense.

They've got real things. They have so many good things. So many great real things. Adelaide's great. Name one. 24 hour bakeries. Yeah, it's probably got a garden of some kind. Most cities have got a botanical garden or something.

They're surrounded by gardens in Adelaide. The whole group is surrounded by it. It's awesome. It's beautiful. Heaps of churches, that's for sure. The Adelaide Oval is one of the best cricket and footy grounds probably in the world. And let's not forget their wine region. Oh my gosh. The Big Reds. They are famous for those big, big reds. I'll tell you what pairs well with the Big Red and that is a bit of late night KFC.

KFC, you can get there. Oh Dave. Anytime. You can go anytime until 1am. Dave, is it true that, because you're a big pie man, is it true that you try to get a pie floater unsuccessfully? Yes. I went to, speaking of 24 or 7 bakeries, I walked a couple of K to Cafe de Villiers,

a beautiful French bakery that they have here. And I got a pie, I asked, are you doing the peas today? Because they famously do a pie floating in pea soup. And the lady said, peas? No, we don't do that here. What do you mean? Is there peas in the pies that you're asking? I was like, oh no, no, are you doing like a pie served with peas?

No, we don't do that here. Oh, okay. So I got my pie and then I look at the menu on the wall that says pie floater, pie floating in pea soup. And I was like, oh, that's what I want. So I went back and I asked for that and she goes, oh yeah, yeah, we do those. You got to be so specific. And I was like, I forgot the lingo and I apologize.

And I went back, I got a second pie. So I was happy. I got two pies in one day. But anyway, I'm very happy because I got not one, but two pies back to back. So happy for them to make a mistake. Maybe it's just a sales pitch from Adelaide. They just pretend they don't know what you want. What are you talking about?

I've never even heard of that. That's so interesting. I think it's because you said with peas. So she's just expecting, she's thinking of like, just a serve of peas on the side. And she's like, I don't have peas. I only have pea soup. This guy's an idiot. But also like, if you're, if you're known for the pie floater, which is pea soup

with the pie in it, I would think you would say, do you mean, oh, we do the pea soup, is that what you mean? You know, just to clarify anyway. soup is that what you mean? You know just to clarify anyway. I wonder if she was being annoying on purpose or just oblivious. Just like, you asked in such a bizarre way to her that she's like obviously that's not what he means. Yeah I think you're probably telling the story a little differently. I reckon you walked in and said, Peas! Can I have some peas? Give me a can of peas please? And she said, we, we... But he was pronouncing peas piss.

Peas! I need a can of peas! Can I have a can of peas? And we don't do that here. We don't do that here. Please madam, can I have your finest can of piss? No, we've only got fresh piss here. Okay. That's what I reckon happened.

I reckon that's what happened as well. I think we've cracked the case. Dave comes in making himself sound like he wasn't there asking for piss. He's taking it out like this woman's insane and bad at her job. But really, I think she handled it really well. She upsold a man who was asking for a can of piss. She sold him a pie. She's good.

They're great at Cafe de Villiers. They're great. But how's their piss? Anyway, today we are here to do a report. Shall I explain how this show works? That would be so good if you could. You'd actually started speaking before I even said what I was going to do. That would be so great.

Shall I steal all of Matt's money and car and everything he owns? That sounds stupendous. Perfect. Well, how this show works is we never interrupt each other, especially when there's a technical delays. And one of the three of us researches a topic usually suggested to us by our fantastic listeners. We go away, we live in this topic. We absorb it. We bathe in it. Live, laugh, love the topic.

We bring it back to the others. We tell them all about it, then they live, laugh, love the topic until we leave the room and they forget it immediately. And it's Dave's turn. Dave, we always start with a question. Have you got a question to get us onto the topic? Yes, I do. My question for both of you is which 1970 slash 80s US sitcom was set on the MS Pacific Princess. Oh, castaway.

No, Gilligan's Island. Oh, no. No, because that wasn't set on a ship. Oh, on a ship. The love boat. It's the love boat. We're sink today, Bob, in both stupidity and timing. Why do we both think Gilligan's Island? Because he loves Gilligan's Island is he loves Gilligan's Island? He loves good and the rest

Yeah, I don't know many 70s and 80s Hanging out on the boat Matt had an unfair advantage there because he was alive in that time He was in his like late 400s at that time. Well, that's right. And that was, yeah. I imagine that is a show for retirees. And I was one back then. That was there. Yeah.

You come out of retirement to do this. Yeah. The love boat. We are all on a love boat. It's a love boat of sorts we're talking about today, but not that love boat. We're actually talking about the Akali, which is commonly known as the sex raft. Which was voted for by our Patreon supporters at patreon.com slash do go on pod. I put four great topics up and let's be honest, the other three didn't have a hope.

They didn't stand a chance. They saw the word sex raft and went went I'm voting for that one. Of course they did because our listeners, we love them. They're a bunch of pervs. Yeah they're pervs. They're a few prudes voting for the other topics but not many. Nah. Yeah, they're also virgins. We know that. All of our listeners are virgins and they're like, if they talk about it maybe I can finally understand what that means.

What is it? What is sex? Dave, tell us what is sex? Yeah. King of the pervs. King of the pervs. King of the pervs, that's right. I'm the Pied Piper of the pervs and let me play you a song.

This one's been suggested by a few people. Thank you so much to Arianne. This song, huh? Yeah, the sex song, the pervs song, but also the topic of the Akali, the sex rough suggested by Ariana Key from Melbourne, McKenna, Middlebrook from New York, New York, Tash Morey, also from Melbourne, Zach Huntley from Brighton and Henry, Henry Wilhawit from Yamil, Oregon, United States from Yamil. That's fun.

Yeah. Or Yam Hill. Maybe they say I'm, United States. From Yamiel? That's fun. Yeah or Yam Hill maybe they say. I've, this is incredibly vaguely familiar somewhere deep in the back of my brain but absolutely no details are coming to me so I'm very excited about this. I imagine it feels like it's the topic that jumps out to you in the hat. Yeah it's probably that it's probably just that I've seen this do the sex rough and I've probably gone, not for me. Thanks. I've never heard of it. I probably saw that in the hat and went, Ooh, very un-ladylike. I couldn't,

possibly. I saw it and I went, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Fellas love this. Can't wait to tell the fellas about this. Well fellas get ready. Here's my report. The man behind the Akali is a guy called Santiago Henevez. Oh my God. I love him.

Yep. Great name and quite the character. He was born in Spain on New Year's Eve, 1923, but he grew up in Mexico where he became an anthropologist working out of the National Autonomous University of Mexico. In the 1970s, Heneves teamed up with a well-known Norwegian adventurer and ethnographer called Thor Heyerdahl. Or Thor Heyerdahl.

Heyerdahl was already famous because in 1947 he led the Contiki expedition, which could also be its own report, but I'll give you a couple of paragraphs summary. He sailed a very basic wooden raft from Peru across the Pacific to the Polynesian islands to prove that it was possible and that maybe a sun worshipping blonde or red-haired and blue-eyed Caucasian people, who he called the Tiki people from South America, could have reached Polynesia during pre-Columbian times by just drifting in a raft with the wind.

Hyadar's full hypothesis that a white race reached Polynesia before the Polynesian people is overwhelmingly rejected by research and it was so even before the expedition, but he decided to do it anyway. So he was arguing that white people had gotten there first. And then what? Disappeared? Is there anywhere we've gotten first? And I think he was trying to say, well look, it's possible, let's have a go. Well, there's probably some blondes and white blondes over there.

Blue eyes? Yeah, they got there first. What are you talking about? Shut up. That's an odd one. That is an odd one. Yep. Like, what is he? What's he? What? Yeah. I don't understand. He braises a lot of whys, doesn't it? Yeah. Why?

Why has he come up with that as a theory? They could have just floated there, just drifted with the wind. But then what happened? Yeah, then who cares? But is it like, is there an island around there with a lot of blue-eyed redheads? Well, not anymore. Right. I don't understand. Well, they made it after 101 days and it became a bestselling book and an academy award winning

documentary was made about it. So it was very famous. It was very famous in the 1940s and 50s. And then in 1969, Hyadal was back at it trying to use boats to prove stuff. And this time our main man Santiago Heneves was also on board. This time they built a boat out of papyrus to try and prove that ancient Egyptians could have traveled over the Atlantic Ocean to the Caribbean islands thousands of miles away. Again, I don't think anyone was saying that they did this, but he's saying, well, they

could have. They could have. Let's have a go. Would have been pretty easy. They built a boat called Ra named after the Egyptian sun god and creator of all humans and they set off from Morocco on the perilous open water ocean journey with a small crew of seven of whom only two had any sailing and navigation experience. So I don't know why you'd get the other five people

involved in the first place but they did. After a number of weeks Ra took on water, the crew discovered that a key element of the Egyptian boat building method had been neglected, a tether that acted like a spring to keep the stern high in the water while allowing for flexibility. They just didn't put that bit on there. Okay. And they also had a hole in the hull, which turned out to be a mistake. They also put wheels on it and then later went, I didn't do that. Yeah.

But it looked pretty cool though. They look really sick. Yeah, mag wheels. Mag wheels had a racing stripe. Yeah. Put a spoiler. 16 inches. Is that how big they have them?

That seems pretty big to me. Oh 18 inches, is that all? Alloy rims, 18 inches of steel. I hate that. Oh, I love it. So they neglected to build this thing properly. So water and storms eventually caused it to sag and break apart after sailing 4,000 miles or 6,400 K. So they were forced to abandon it just a hundred miles away from the Caribbean islands.

So that was so close. And that was without a bit of it. So they pretty much proved it. So the next year they had another go and they built the Ra-2. This time it's personal. It's personal. Ra-2 the streets. Ra-2, back of the habit.

Ra-2, secret of the ooze. Well they wanted less ooze this time. They wanted a less wet journey. More Ra's less ooze. Likewise it set sail across the Atlantic from Morocco, this time with great success, until it became lost and was the subject of the United Nations Search and Rescue International Mission. Wow.

Eventually the boat reached Barbados, or Babados, sorry I mispronounced that word, thus demonstrating that mariners could have dealt with transatlantic voyages by sailing with the Canary Current. So they were like, it is possible. And people were like, okay. Yeah, nobody was arguing it wasn't possible. That's so that's really fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah It is. Yeah. Yeah That's uh, that's cool. What the things are possible. Yeah. Anyway, I have to go we got planes now. Yeah, exactly Well speaking of planes so our main man that I'm gonna talk a a lot about today, Santiago Heneves, he was on the RA 1 and 2, so he's got a bit of sailing experience than

that. A couple of years later, 1972, whilst returning from a conference on violence in humans, which is his area of study. In humans. So like people who have fights inside of humans. So what are you saying? Well, he's trying to prove that that's possible. Hey, it could be done.

They built a really big human and they have some sort of MMA fight inside of it. So, see? Told you. It is possible. It is possible. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's getting a lot of lukewarm thumbs ups. Oh yeah.

Oh, yep. Hey, that's great, mate. Yeah, cool. Good on you. He's getting a lot of lukewarm thumbs ups. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, hey. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha's flying back from a conference in 1972 and it's on a, it's a violence and humans conference like I say. He's flying back to Mexico City when his plane was hijacked by terrorists. In his own words, quote, it was too good to be true. Imagine the irony. He was a man wanting to study violence in humans and he was being hijacked.

Violently? Or were they being quite nice about it? Well, I think they had weapons. Were they? Yeah, okay. It's more like the threat of violence. I've got a couple of weapons right here, mate. I don't think it was ironic though.

I don't think he's quite nailed that. Look at this. Funny coincidence. You could karate chop man at any moment. With these weapons. You got a license for those? Look at my boobs for the listeners. Ka-pow! Ka-pow! Whoa! Whoa!

Couple of numb chucks there. So he was being hijacked and he was pretty stoked about it. The plane was taken to Cuba and when the hijacking was over, I thought he didn't go into details about what happened, but he thought if only he could recreate those conditions in a scientific setting where he could safely observe, then he might be one step closer to answering a question that had plagued him his entire life. And that is, why do people fight? That's not, what's it like having a friend? God, he's a child to divorce, isn't he? Why do people fight?

Why can't we all get along? Mummy, daddy, please. Ah, two Christmases, two Christmases, two lots of presents. He's doing just fine. And hopefully happier parents, you know. Yeah. They weren't good together, mate. Yeah, that's okay. You know, staying together for the kids, I'm just not so sure.

He later described himself to the press as the only scientist studying aggression, violence and friction who's actually been kidnapped. He's asked around, has he? That's his icebreaker question at these conferences. So, Heneviz wanted to ask the question, can we live without war? And it's probably a good point to note that the Vietnam War was raging on at this point. So that's the geopolitical context of this time.

And he's only got one way of studying stuff. And that is to build a boat. That's his experience. So he decided to build a... To a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. To this guy, every problem looks like a boat. Yeah, we just need to get people on a boat and then we'll work it out. If we just get people on a boat, I think this could be fine.

How do we stop all go get people on a boat? There's never been a war involving boats. Yeah. So he wanted to build a small boat, fill it with people from around the world and just see what happened. So it wasn't, he wasn't, the sex boat wasn't built for a sex boat. He's built a boat to see what happens and then the sex just happens. Well that's fine, well we'll get to it. All right. Sorry. I'm getting to a bit quick. That's that's classic me getting there. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, uh, David Boone, Murphy.

You can work my way through the 90s cricket lineup. That's a trick people use on it. Yeah. Alan Border. Mark Tubby Taylor. Come on Big gloves What's gone through to the Cape? His whole theory was put him on a boat

They'd be fully isolated and exposed to real danger and he could observe the whole thing the conditions would be stressful and more importantly real danger and he could observe the whole thing, the conditions would be stressful and more importantly, inescapable. And he wanted to see how people would cope. And he said before they took off, in a crisis or a difficult situation, humans show their true behaviour. And I want you to remember that quote. Okay, so in a crisis, humans show their true behaviour. They're on a boat.

So I guess my true behaviour would be vomiting off the side of a boat. That's my truest form, according to Santiago. Well, yeah, no, I think according to everybody, I think that's better. That's the vibe I give. Just I go about my day and people are like, oh, she has hurled off a boat. She's fed the fish. That's right. When you're not vomiting people, like I Oh, she has hurled off a boat. She's fed the fish. That's right. When you're not vomiting people, like I reckon she's holding it in right now.

That's cause I'm always looking like, you're a chum machine. Yeah. Yeah. Fish love me. Fellow snorkelers hate me. Yeah, but just, you don't want to be downstream. Because of this one trick.

So, Hennivers later wrote once they'd set sail, is violence something that's built into our genes, or is it something that we learn? Will an isolated group of people on a raft cooperate to survive? So that's what he's wondering. I'm picturing like just a flat rectangle of timber, you know? Same. It's honestly, you know? Same. It's honestly, it's very small.

So he built a raft of steel called the Akali, named after the Nahutal word for the house on the water. Nahutal is an indigenous language of peoples native to Southern Mexico and Central America, including the Aztecs. Oh, cool. So that's why it's called the Akali, because he's a Mexican guy, of course. The raft was pretty small. It's only 12 metres or 40 feet in length. the Aztecs. Oh cool. So that's why it's called the Acali because he's a Mexican guy of course. The raft was pretty small. It's only 12 metres or 40 feet in length, 12 feet wide, weighing 22 tonnes. There was one tiny cabin between them which was the size of a small bedroom.

It had no motor making it pretty impossible to manoeuvre in the water. They just had to rely on a sail and the current. It's been described as like a tin can of sardines. That sounds terrible. How many sardines are squeezing in? Two. That's a small tin can. Yeah, it's not very big.

So there's two passengers on this boat. I don't know if you can go a sex raft when a couple has sex a bit on a boat. No, there's going to be more. There's going to be more people than two. It's also, you got to note, they had no support boats. They were literally completely isolated from the world and they had to carry all of their own supplies.

Henevez was stoked about this because he said that even in a remote desert, you can escape each other, but on a raft in the middle of the Atlantic, that just isn't possible. This guy, he is chaos. Um. Yeah, he wanted shit to kick off. Yeah. Because he acknowledged it was dangerous, but that in dangerous situations, people show their natural instincts.

So he's like, good, this is genuinely dangerous. So we're going to see real human behavior. Vomit. Yeah. A lot of vomit. Is he, how has he seen in the scientific community? Meeting the normal standards of scientific experiments? Well, yeah, before this, he's got like funding from his Mexican university.

He's sort of a, sort of a famous teacher there before this expedition. I say before this expedition, so let's check in on that later. Over about three months, they'd set off in their tiny raft from the Canary Islands off the coast of northwestern Africa, and they'd go all the way across the ocean to Mexico, approximately, if you're doing a straight line, which is not necessarily possible when you're going with the current, 7,000 kilometres or 4,000 miles. So it's a huge journey. Yeah, wow.

And more than one sociologist remarked that three months at sea would be equivalent to about 12 to 15 years on land. So we sort of condensing an extremely long time and life experience into a short amount of time. Is that a scientific, like what a weird, how can you make that as a... That's a universally agreed upon measure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like dog years. There's land time and sea time. Yeah.

We'll be arriving on the third. Is that sea time or land time? Oh, sea time. See you in 15 years, sea time. That's right. So maybe that's what your pilot was meaning when he said Adelaide was 30 years behind. Yes. Was that sea time?

Maybe he's a former Navy man. Yeah, you know how they've got Nordic miles and miles, that's different. Yeah, different. Yeah, same. Same thing. Okay, I think that's cleared that up. We all agree. We're all on the same page.

So he needed to get a crew together for the experiment. So Heneves conducted a worldwide search to find 10 participants of varying ethnic backgrounds, people from different religious and social backgrounds to create what he thought of as a microcosm representing the entire world. Oh yeah. And also, he wanted them to be hot, hoping that that would cause more sexual tension on board if they were young and beautiful people. And if he doesn't end up in a career in reality TV production, he's been wasted.

That feels more where his skillsets are. It's been referred to as like the original Love Island, the original reality show. Yeah. Because this is like the 70s, this is over 50 years ago. But he wants to put people in dangerous situations to see how humans really behave. But he, it's, it seems like he wants them to fuck. Excuse my French. Yes, because that could cause tension.

I see. Yes, he's hoping it causes tension. Yeah. Settled tension. Right. Okay. So they all have to be hot because only, as we all know, only hot people have sex. Exactly.

Yeah, I've never seen Uggos with kids. Never, never, never. So yeah, why not just have everyone who's like equal, you know, the whole boat full of fives. Yeah. It's like, you just gotta have the same scale. That's what you need. It's also quite subjective, don't you think? There are people that we all go yeah, okay, I see that.

Dave, you know your dream of doing a live podcast on International Waters? That'll be a boat full of fives. I know, unless it's our listeners. I meant the three of us. Oh, I thought you were saying listeners included. They're doing a lot of the heavy lifting, lifting us up to five. Yeah, that's true. We must be getting some mega hotties in the crowd.

Geez. Well, you know all of our listeners are hot. That's true. But we are, across the board, threes. If we're going to say we're a one and they're a ten, we get an average of five and a half. It's pretty good. Yeah.

It is pretty good. I just wouldn't say we're ones. Well, one of us is. Thank you so much. I always thought of myself as the one. People often ask me. I'm the one of the podcast. People ask me all the time, have you met The One?

And I say, absolutely, I work with him. He's hard to look at. But he is a lot of fun. He's a lot of fun, The One. Made for audio mediums. Media is the word. He's a lovely guy. I could call him right now.

I say, they... Not video call. Certainly not video call. I wouldn't put you through that Voice of an angel though. Yes face of a demon one of the ugly ones Demons. Oh God, Hot Demons, sign me up. Hotdemon.com. Forward slash log in. Dot demon. I don't know why I find that so funny.

Cause Dave said, sign me up. So now I'm imagining he has signed up and now he's logging in. It's a hot daemon! What does this website do? I'm crying! Yeah, I've added a subscription to Hot Daemon. What do you get for it? What's the service?

You get a hot daemon! I mean, it's not a place for hot daemons to meet other daemons. It's you get a hot daemon. Yeah, yeah. I'm really lost. Sorry for what I've done here. I feel lost. Lost at sea.

Oh, I feel like I'm going to throw up. That was good stuff. Me and me alone. Lost at sea. So, he wants this hot... He wants 10 people from around the world and he places advertisements in several places and he's like, oh, I'm going to throw up. That was good stuff. Me and me alone. That is lost at sea. So, he wants this hop.

He wants 10 people from around the world and he posted advertisements in several newspapers around the world and this is what he wrote. Expedition leader looking for volunteers to sail on a raft across the Atlantic. Duration, three months. Males and females. Preferably married, but participation without spouse. Age 25 to 40. Write letter and curriculum vitae to this PO box.

Applications will be kept confidential. If I saw an ad that said, preferably married, but your spouse isn't coming, I'd be like, that seems weird. Oh, I miss that. So, preferably married. You're travelling without your spouse, but preferably you are married. Yeah, that's weird. That's weird. Yeah. So he wanted them to be married and even have children if possible to make it even more difficult for them to be away.

So you'd be missing your family. So, true, because an unmarried person couldn't possibly have anybody that they value or that they might miss. body that they value or that they might miss. And what's the idea of like, you know, like a blind test or AB testing, like it feels so manufactured. Every element of it. Shouldn't it be more randomised than this to get any sort of proper results? Yeah, we think so, but no, he wants to guarantee some fireworks.

But also I dropped out of science as early as I possibly could. So I'm not saying I'm, I have any idea what I'm talking about. Science repulses me. Much like you repulse science. Yeah. Science can't, where, where, where? Yeah. Diametrically opposed.

That is the word. It is a word. Yep. Well, and then That is the word. It is a word. Yep. Well, and then it is the word. So despite that pretty vague and like we are saying, weird advertisement, he received hundreds of applications around the world. Did it say hot?

Did it say we want you to be attractive or? No, but then I'm, you know, he's like send a photo. Send a photo on your measurements. Yeah. Amazingly. 32, 42, 83. Ooh, hubba hubba. I never know what those numbers are meant to be. Yeah, they're the sexiest. My measurements are 69, 69 and four. Oh, you're really tapered down, aren't you? Yeah. The hourglass. Ooh, very top heavy. Real triangle. Actually Actually it makes no sense how you can walk. I can't stand. I'm a dreidel. They're the spinning tops. Ah got it thank you. Of Jewish culture. Yes.

I believe. Oh I hope so. Should have just said I'm a spinning top, but they don't quite have the same sort of blocky top half Someone out there would have really appreciated You're a spinning top I'm more of a spinning bottom bit of fun So these are the ten people he picked these are the ten people and There's some more information on some of them than others. So some of them I'll just really vaguely skip over, but these are the people. So on board we've got of course our main man Santiago Heneves. He's 49 years old at this time. So he's the oldest on board.

Okay, of course. The guy in charge. Then we've got Maria Bjornstam who was a Swedish 30 year old lady. She was captain of the expedition. Heneves said she was the first woman in the world with a professional sea captain's degree and she was also Sweden's first ever female captain. And out of all the people, Heneves actually sought her out specifically traveling to Sweden to ask if she would captain the expedition.

She said, okay, that sounds pretty fun. And she signed up. So she's in charge of the expedition. She's the first female captain. Yes. And is that what year? 1972. Well, that's in Sweden's Navy and the first one with the professional sea

captain's degree, I think anywhere in the world, according to Heneves in his writing. And this is 1972. Wow. And that was why he went out after her specifically because she was a woman captain. Yeah, that's right. Yes. And I'll talk about that in a minute with what tasks every- Sexism goes back a long way.

Women getting jobs just for being women. It's just, don't you think? I don't know. It's just really disheartening to hear that it's been going on for so long. Yeah, oh, no comment on this, Jess. I bet you wouldn't. I bet you wouldn't. I bet you wouldn't.

That's that is privilege. Your privilege is deafening. I only have this job because I'm a woman. Yeah. And I'm not good at it. Yeah. But you are also the captain. So yeah.

First female podcast captain. So that's Maria. Then we've also got Jose Maria Montero Perez, who was a 34 year old Uruguayan man. He's an anthropologist himself. He was a former student of Heneves, long hair and a beard on a questionnaire. He was voted the most attractive man on the raft. Okay. Who's filling out that questionnaire? That's full on weird. Everyone on the raft had to fill out this question. Who's the hottest? That's weird. You'd be having second thoughts about what you're up to wouldn't you? Totally. I'd be like oh for a second I thought I was here because of a set of skills I have, but I think it's a different set. If you know what I mean.

Mbapps. Mbapps, yes. Mbapps. Who's a, yeah, isn't the top footballer in the world, Mbapps? Mbapps. Mbappé? Well, speaking of French people, the next person is from France, Savan Zanotti. She was an experienced lady, 32 years old.

She was an experienced scuba diver responsible for conducting a study on pollution on boards. There's also these other sort of side quests that they've been given, these side scientific studies because they're going on this epic journey, but she's chosen because she's an awesome scuba diver. Then we have a Greek Cypriot man, 37 years old, called Charles Antoni. He operated the radio on the raft. There's two radio operators. He's one of them.

But in life, he owned a Greek restaurant in Cambridge in the UK and he was leaving a fiancé back at home. Very strange stuff. Yeah. Super weird. I'm very excited. Then a 23 year old Algerian woman called Rashida Mazani. She was also responsible for the pollution study. She was an Algerian living in Paris.

She was the youngest in the group. Heneves said she was the most popular among the men. Oh, yep. Okay, okay. Here's my thought process. That entire time I was like, I've heard 30, 34, 37 and now like 23. As a 34 year old, I have very little to talk to 23 year olds about. They make me feel incredibly old. You know, and I'm brushing with a broad brush here.

You know what I mean? Like that's, but I'm just saying- You're brushing with a broad brush. I'm brushing with a broad brush. But so I'm thinking like, wow, I mean like that's but I'm just saying with a broad brush brush with a broad brush but so I'm thinking like wow I wonder if she's having a tough time sort of connecting with people or you know and but then I hear she's the most popular I was like oh good on it with the man okay okay the women hate her because they don't lift each other up. We can't, we're very weak. Yeah, that does sound gross. Yeah, yuck.

Next up we've got Mary Gidley, 36-year-old American woman. She had some knowledge of navigation. She just started working as a waitress and felt like a dead-end job to her, so she was looking forward to a break from work, but also she later revealed from her abusive husband, she was very happy to get away from him. Okay, so she was married, which is what Santiago had wanted, but he was hoping that would mean people would be sad

to be away from their spouses, but she was like, great, an escape. Yes, apparently he was awful. Being on a raft in the middle of the ocean is better than being with your spouse. Yeah, that's a wake-up call, isn't it? Yeah. We've got 23-year-old American Faye Evangelina Seymour.

She's also another one of the younger people operating the radio. Second most popular with the men. She was already married and had two children. She was very into science and described herself as intellectually hungry. So she was on this journey because she thought, oh, what a great thing for science. She would have loved that questionnaire then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would have felt right. So who do you reckon is fuckable?

Who do you want to see naked? Rank everyone from fuckability? 1 to 12. He's got the best abs Another brilliant name though. Everyone's got amazing names. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're great. Aren't they then we've got Edna Jonas Edna 30 Edna Jonas 32 year old lady. She was a Czechoslovakian woman Residing in Israel. She was the doctor on board in charge of medical supplies. Before the trip she'd worked as an Anecetist in the army and she was looking forward to testing her own boundaries. Wow.

I mean, what do you mean? It's sort of, okay. Sounds like she has some pretty cool experience in tricky situations. She's a very highly skilled doctor. I'm interested what she felt like her boundaries were, you know what I mean? It seems like you're already pretty freaking cool. Yeah, I imagine it's fucking lots of people. Yeah, that's probably her boundaries.

Sexual boundaries, I think, is what she's looking to push. It would be amazing if that is the case because they have an advertiser that way. She's like, I just hopefully there'll be someone there who's looking to... Yeah, I'd love to experiment sexually. This probably isn't the place for that. Because it was quite a long process to interview the people. So imagine he's asking them questions like that and they go, if they're up for it, he's like, oh, you're in. Yeah, if you're up, you're in. That's what my religious slash sex ed teacher said

to our class about how women can't procreate after a certain age, but men, if you're up, you're in, is what he said to us. That's gross. And not quite accurate. Yeah, it's not just being up, is it? Yeah. It's more about what the little fellas are doing inside.

That's right, there's a few things a bit weird about that. But it's really stuck with me over the years. Women, they get worse with age, so just disregard them. But you, you could be 80 and still going strong you bloody boy. In terms of you know creating babies which is all that sex is for if you're up you're in. He was the same guy who said there are any holes and there are outy holes. Yeah I always think about that. His name was Mr. Shaftan. That good. That rules. That's really funny. All right, we've got two more of these people to go.

Next up, 29 year old Angolan Bernardo Bongo. Love that. Bernardo Bongo. How have you held that back? I'm like, this has been maybe the episode with the best names ever and we're just beginning. Bernardo Bongo. Bernardo Bongo. Holy shit That's so good

That's got to be the top. You don't have anywhere to go from there. Do you Dave? Who wants that in the group chat? I'll have it. Yeah, I feel like you're due a you're due a rebrand Matt. You're Bernardo Bongo now, Bernardo Bongo There was one more good. There's another good one coming, but it's not it can't top Bernardo Bongo No, I don't think anything is going to be able to top Bonato Bongo. It's one of those ones that I've seen a lot. I just haven't said it out loud yet. And the first time I said it, I was like, wow, my mouth feels amazing. Yeah, Bonato Bongo.

What a journey from start to finish. So Bonato Bongo, he was from Angola. He was, and he's a priest. Okay. And he was purposefully chosen again to go. Father Bongo! Papa Bongo. Papa Bongo.

Please bless me for I've sinned, Papa Bongo. I hope he went around with a bongo too. That's got to be a thing. Yeah, I'm a hip- You got to lean in. I'm a hip priest. Papa Bongo with a bongo too. That's got to be a thing. I'm a hip- You gotta lean in. I'm a hip priest. Pop a bongo with the bongos. The reason he picked a priest was again to create a bit more tension because he wants

some people to be promiscuous but also to feel judged by the priest. That was what he was thinking there. And he thought that would create tension between different backgrounds, different religions. The priest is going to do the most fucking- A banana bongo. With a name like that. tension between different backgrounds, different religions. The priest is going to do the most fucking. Banana Mongo. With a name like that. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether it's your first ever website or your business is expanding,

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and out. Feels better, right? That's 15 seconds of self-care. Imagine what you could do with more. For a limited time, visit betterhelp.com slash random pod for one free week of online therapy. No pressure, just help. But for now, just relax. The final member of the crew, 29 year old Japanese man, great name, Esuka Yamaki. Ooh, that is good. Now he joined as photographer and cameraman, thinking that he was just there to document the trip. Once on board, he realized that he too was being observed as part of the experiment.

But then it was too late to turn back. He was like, hey, I'm just the hired help to be a camera guy, aren't I? And then he found out, oh no, he's watching me. I've been picked for a reason. Whoa. And he figured that out before everyone else did? Well, everyone else, like they know they're there for a scientific study. Right.

They know what's going on, but he thinks, I'm here to film the study. And then he's like, oh, I am the study. That's weird. Do they know what the study is? They all know that he's studying violence and stuff? Yeah, they all think it's violence and humans. And they think, oh, that's quite interesting. Yeah, I'm happy to be a part of that. I wouldn't be happy to be a part of that. Hey, would you like to come be on a boat? Not a good one, just a raft.

We get quite seasick and we're just going to see what violence kicks off. Yeah. And you'd be assuming now, well, pick me. I'm not a violent person. Have they, are the other people they've picked? Are they just going to be a bunch of hardened criminals? Yeah. I mean, there's no way I would ever agree to do this. No. It sounds insane. Am I getting shanked?

Three months at sea, you can't steer a boat. What are you doing? Absolutely not. No way. There's no like support boat in case you start sinking, like you have to put up the distress signal and hope that someone saves you. Like it's... No.

Scary stuff. Absolutely not. And there was a reason he chose who he chose. This is what Heneves wrote in his diary. He said, scientific studies of monkeys show there is a link between violence and sexuality, where most of the conflict amongst male monkeys is access to ovulating females. To verify if it is the same for humans, I have selected participants who are sexually attractive and because sexuality is linked to guilt and shame I have placed amongst them Bernardo Bongo a

Catholic priest from Angola to see what would happen. Wow. This is yeah, this is a reality. This is like faux science reality TV show stuff But yeah, it's a bit like when we did the episode on space cadets and yeah, and in the recruitment process There was a lot of psychological testing to make sure that the people were the right kind of people in terms of susceptibility But also that they could take a joke and if you know that they're a bit of a punchline They're gonna be okay with that and then you're like, no, you're just getting idiots You're saying all that but you're just getting idiots, right? And this guy saying he's made sure

they're all attractive but what just to him though right? Yeah that's what I mean like yeah. Yeah true, pretty true. Is this gonna be about just him fucking around? Probably. It's gonna be fucking and sucking on the high seas for this scientist. Scientific sucking. Is that what the report ended up being called? Yeah, is that what we call this episode? Sucking for science. So the main purpose of the study was violence in humans, like I've been saying. It also had a slight examination of sexual behaviour as a minor part. But of course, the press grabbed onto this part alone and instantly dubbed it the sex raft.

It was also referred to variously as the Raft of Love, the Raft of Passion. One headline read, the captain who wears a bikini and another one love raft orgies. Because she's a woman. Yeah. I guess she's also wearing a bikini. Does she wear a bikini? I mean, as bathers. Otherwise that's bad journalism. If she wants to go swimming bikini. Does she wear a bikini? Well, I mean, as bathers, yeah. Because otherwise that's bad journalism. If she wants to go swimming, yeah. Oh my God.

Is that, I don't think, does the Swedish Navy, is that the, is that what they give the, the army people? That's their uniform. Is that what they give the army people? The Swedish Navy, is that what they give the army people? Oh yeah, that is what they give the army people? Oh yeah, that is what they give the army people. To sound like you were trying to do an impression of how someone speaks. Yeah so it is official Swedish Navy bikini.

Yeah like it was yellow and blue. Sick. So the media having a field day, Heneves himself was referred to as the sex professor. Oh yeah. Professor sex? Oh yes. Professor sex savior. Nice. But all this sex stuff only happened after they left, like all the stuff in the press. So it was only after they were on board. They didn't know that the press were reporting on them in this way. They left with noble intentions thinking that they were part of this big scientific study. But they're now at sea, they all met at the Canary Islands for the first time on May 11, 1973, and then took off the following day. The articles start

getting written, but they don't know that they're being betrayed. Oh man, this is going to ruin some lives. Feel it, I can feel it coming. So what was it like on board? Well, in order to make the journey even more isolating and potentially fractious, no distractions were allowed on board. They weren't allowed to read, they weren't allowed to bring any sort of activities. The only entertainment and distraction they had was with each other and they told stories and sang songs because yes, they were allowed a guitar and

if there's only one thing that would make V violent is if someone brings a guitar and they can't play it very well. That's where you and I are different Dave, that makes me horny. Surely they can bring their Nintendo Switch. Sorry, and their Nintendo Switch, they're allowed to play their funny little games where a bear inherits a castle from his uncle. Stop it, you're so good at coming up little games where a bear inherits a castle from his uncle. Stop it! You're so good at coming up with games I would 100% play!

I know! I need you to start making these games. That frickin' rules. What's his uncle's secret? What's his uncle's secret? There's gotta be an uncle's secret. That's not gonna go away now. And you also get to marry the town psychologist.

Yes! Did I mention the farming elements? Farming and foraging? How exciting. Can I fish? You can always fish in the games too. You can always fish, yeah. And bears love fishing, don't they?

Yeah, and then you sell it all and that's how you make some money to buy other stuff. It's exciting. That sounds like a great game. Is that the genre of gaming called cosy gaming? Yeah, basically, yeah. Basically? Dave's very good at coming up with fake cosy games. That could be a good question on who knew it.

Which of these are real cosy game? Oh, good one. who knew it. Which is, which of these are real cozy game? Oh, good one. Yeah, that'd be great. Well, come up with one like a hedgehog opens a magic shop. Look at how good he is. I'm going to have Dave on that episode. He just rips them. He's so good and I'd play the shit out of that.

You'd love it. You just like, you try to, you get, you're upgrading your shop so you have more stuff in it. Oh, that's good. And then you like, you get to learn like tricks. Yeah. New magic tricks. Meet the people in the town, decorate your house. So cute.

Marry the town doctor. Marry the town doctor. I've done that. I've married the town doctor. No, I know you have. One time I married a werewolf. Wow. Who runs a bookshop. Pretty exciting stuff.

What the heck? So what he's saying isn't even ridiculous. No, it's not. That's what I mean. He's actually, he understands. Right. He's very good at it. So back to the wrath. They got no distractions and in order to have them lose their inhibitions and be open about everything, everyone had to go to the toilet in the open. It was a little seat with nets all around it just hanging over the edge of the ocean below. Wait, just shitting into the sea?

According to camera guy Esuka, when the waves were big, they would wash your bottom directly. It felt so cool and nice, but at night it could be really cold. So you're just, everyone's sitting around having a conversation. You say, sorry, excuse me for just one moment. You go over a couple of feet away from them, sit on a toilet seat and what? Maintain a conversation while going, hey. Yeah. Do you just hang your ass over the side?

Jess, if you're heaving like that, I think there needs to be something looked into. Your technique or maybe your diet. You're Al Pacino-ing up there. Well, sorry, I've got to go for an Al Pacino. Got to see a man about an Al Pacino if you don't want to be. Do you think, is that, you know, that regurgitate a song? Do you think that's about this experience? It starts again.

Every day I shit into the sea. That's what it's about. Seems strange, but it doesn't mean much to me. Is that about this? Yeah. Cause at first it seems strange, but then now they all just got used to it. And so that was to then, what was the purpose of that again? To like lose all inhibitions in front of each other, just be completely open.

Okay, got it. According to the Dr. Edna, it just made for the first couple of weeks, people extremely constipated because no one wanted to go. So she had to give out lots of medicine. That's why they're making those sounds. Heeey! They were going, I don't want to! This is sounding more like, what was that bonus episode you did ages ago? That college experiment about prisoners?

It's a bit like that. Oh yeah, Jess did the Stanford Prison Experiment. Stanford Prison. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's very pseudo sciency. Yeah, a bit of a morally questionable in some ways. Are they also bathed in a little netted area that meant they could get into the ocean without fear of being left behind by the raft?

So I guess- You just get dragged along for a bit. I guess the raft probably isn't going that fast, is it? But the net would be shark proof, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, shark proof, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, shark proof net. It doesn't... Shark can't get through.

It's not like you're just hanging out there like a fish lure. Yeah. Yeah. Just spewing up, chumming it up. So they set sail or were towed out with a large group of people in media watching as a big event when they're leaving the Canary Islands. As they were being towed, Captain Maria, so the Swedish captain's boyfriend, Olaf, radioed and demanded to speak to her from a nearby ship that was following them.

A recording exists of this exchange and he said, Maria, no one has read the contract. It says that you have to give up your mind and your body to Heneves. Does that sound like a scientist to you? Yeah, Jesus. Wow. No one read the contract. Well, she said, don't worry, I didn't sign the contract. And they had this long back and forth where he asked her not to go. He's like, I've got a bad feeling about this. I don't think you should go. And he even said, it's the raft or it's me. And she chose to stay on the raft. Well, she's already, they've already taken off. Bit late.

Yeah. But he's following in her boat. Yeah, that's, that is weird. It sounds like, well, we don't know how this is going to end up, but it sounds like he was probably right, but a bit weird to make a, make an ultimatum on that. Sometimes you're not, it's not that she was picking the raft over you. She was just picking the thing that wasn't giving her an ultimatum. Yeah it's easier just to stay here so it's a bit of last-minute drama but they made it

out to the current they were dropped off by the towboat left alone and found that the waves were much choppier than expected and people suffered horrific seasickness awesome and they took it in turns, 24-7-2 people were in charge of keeping watch and quite on quite steering you can't really steer very much but they're just in the little viewing cabin so they can watch out for any approaching ships or anything like that. On the raft, Hennivest decided to give the key roles and the power to the women on board, for example, the captaincy to Maria, and he said what he called the menial jobs to the men. He said to reflect society's changing attitude to women and how they were becoming more and more equal. But really,

it was probably in the hope of creating more tension. And also so funny to be like, they're becoming more equal, so we're going to make them the superiors. Yeah. Doesn't that reflect equality nicely by just flipping it the other way? Very weird. He pondered in his diary, I wonder if having women in power will lead to less violence, or will there be more? Will the men become frustrated and try to take over the power? That's the patriarchy talking to him man women can be violent too women can be whatever they want. Such a nonsense. Sorry Jess I'm talking and I'm sitting here quietly having a sip of water sorry Jess shut the fuck up. Jess please you're getting a little flustered a little irate. Yeah, this guy sounds like a nightmare.

Yeah, imagine working with one of those. Yeah, Jess, I'm dealing with it as best I can. If you could please calm down. Sorry. You're getting hysterical. I must be on my period. Are you? Yeah. Are you?

Are you? Wait, are you? Wait, are you? Sometimes I'm like, are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? I, yeah. Are you? Are you? Wait, are you? Wait, are you? Sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct one. So they're completely alone out there now. They're floated away from all civilised society. They're just out on the waves.

The only outside contact in or out was every two days they got a weather report radioed to them and Henavers sent out an update about the situation on board once a week but apart from that they're completely alone it's just the 11 of them. He also gave out these onboard confidential questionnaires to fill out giving them to all the participants once a week. He asked them things like, who annoys you most on the raft? Or who do you feel the closest to and why? If you could get rid of one of the others, who would it be?

Oh, get rid of in what, how so? They just leave the boat or they're dead? Yeah, what do we do? Do we evict them? It's kind of like Big Brother Diary Room stuff. Yeah, but on paper. And as they went on, the questions became sexual. Who have you had sexual contact with on board?

Or, how many times do you masturbate per month? Maria, the captain who said she didn't sign the contract didn't fill out any of the questions. Tension was already building between the scientific leader and the actual captain of the raft. She was like, I'm not interested in this crap. And he didn't like that. Each week he also got them to draw a tree, which he said was a graphological test that would show the inner changes to their lives. Apparently he could look at the drawing and see how their psychological state of mind was going big and steady roots signaled

harmony but multiple branches going into different directions to him that's a clear sign of aggression building. Okay no he is a scientist sorry. Yeah. Sorry. It's not that that's the only way I know how to draw a tree. Big steady roots. He's all about it. Speaking of big steady roots, it took a little while, but by week four, several people were having sex on board. By week four?

Week four. Wow. This is on board the raft that unbeknownst to them had been dubbed the sex raft. So they didn't know that at home everyone's writing about them, calling them the sex raft and writing scandalous stories about them. But some of them were having sex. The Guardian writes, sex was logistically tricky. Either you would have to do it in full view of the others or wait until the opportunity offered by night time.

Even then, two people were on duty, one keeping lookout and the other one steering. If you were quick about it, crew members related, you could have it off. But coordination and dexterity were key. One of them said, you had to use one of your hands for steering. But the other hand was available. One hand on the wheel, one hand somewhere else. I mean, you need two hands you're doing it wrong aren't you? Yeah, yeah that's what I've always said. You need a whole hand. Come on.

You should be able to play an instrument while you're doing it. If you can't you're doing it wrong. Yeah, you should be able to do your taxes, play an instrument, steer a ship. And then you should have one limb left to get it done. Get her done. It's so funny. You get in close and you go and you speak really deep and then follow it with eeheehee side by side on the floor of the cabin packed in like sardines with a little sleeping bag each asked how many people they slept with while at sea. Dr. Edna. Dr. De Jones later recalled with a laugh.

Ha! Many, many, everybody. But it wasn't an open 24-7 orgy like the media were writing about it being. Just that some people were doing it. Okay. But Edna in particular had sex with everybody. Or was her joke that they all slept in one room and so therefore she's saying I slept with everyone? Or has she fucked around? She definitely banged at least a couple of people.

Nice, good for you Edna. Good for you Edna. But it wasn't until day 84, once they had made it to the Caribbean Sea that they heard over the radio that the newspapers were reporting on the quote unquote sex raft. And it was at this time that because of this, Henevez's home institution, the National Autonomous University of Mexico, where he'd been working for over 20 years, came to distance itself from him. Oh.

A fact that he learned over the radio broadcast and it was like a statement was put out distancing themselves from his science and it was signed by all his colleagues and he was absolutely gutted and devastated that they were saying, nah, this science is wrong. Oh. Well, I mean, he didn't know? Mate, you're just a, you're on a, you're a perv on a boat. Yeah. And you're using like university funds.

And he's like, To fund your, fund your perv boat. They don't back my perv boat? What? Just- What? Come on. What's the point of being an academic if you can't be a perv?

What? Just because I got all these people who I've tried to make more fuck in a place that they can't do it privately so I could always look if I wanted to. That's not science? Oh, I didn't even let them have a toilet. They just have to shit off the side of the boat so I can look at them. Which I like to watch as well. Oh, okay. I'm the perv. Oh, great. Yeah. Geez. That is basically how he felt. He was pissed off. He was upset.

He was upset that the world was no longer focusing on what he thought was his extremely important focus on scientific, on the scientific study of violence, which wasn't going that well by the way. But one day something did happen when fishing, they caught and reeled in a live shark. Okay. Not huge, probably a meter long, I'd guess. Some called for them to throw it back, but Heneves was watching for violence, which he always is.

He was fascinated when Jose Maria, his hot former student from Uruguay, ran and grabbed an axe and started hitting and chopping the shark. Heneves described his actions like, Jose Maria then cut through the shark's chest and ripped out its heart whilst it was still beating and showed everyone. What the actual fuck, Jose? That's a bit weird. Yeah, that's a bit weird, Jose. That's a bit weird. Yeah, that's a bit weird, Jose. There's a difference between like, great, we could have a nice bit of flake for dinner.

That'd be good. Have we still got any chips left in the kitchen? Oh, beautiful, fish and chips for that. Have we got a tartare? Have we got a tartare we could have? Oh, love a bit of tartare. Have we got a little slice of lemon? Gorgeous.

He wasn't thinking that, he was like, I'm gonna cut this fucking heart out. I've been saving a bottle of Portelli for this. That's insane. What is, what? They've got food, I'm guessing. They don't need it for food. They're not fishing as they go. Yeah, they got most of their supplies, but they do a bit of fishing just to sort of supplement with a bit of seafood. But yeah, it's nearly all on board.

Oh, yep. That's just going to make it confusing. And they did eat the shark, but Henneves dramatically described it as, quote, like turning on a switch. Everyone wanted to touch the flesh, still warm with life. But I think Jess is right. I think there's more people who are like, oh, great. A bit of flake. This is nice. Yeah. But of course, everything he sees is that's violent. That's violent.

And it's so funny, like trying to manufacture violence, he's like, well this, this isn't going well at all in my experiment, there's not been a lot of violence. Well isn't that, isn't that a result in itself? Yeah, that, yeah exactly, that's a result to the question you're posing. Yeah, but that's not good enough for him, because he was frothing that violence that he'd been waiting for, he'd finally arrived with the shark, but he was also surprised that it didn't come from sexual jealousy or even conflict between participants. He thought he'd had a breakthrough in the experiment and hid the axe out of an abundance

of court and he's like, okay, it's all going to kick off now. The first bit of violence has happened, now everyone's going to get violent. And of course, that did not happen. In reality, the crew got on super well. The independent writes, the participant's sexual interactions proved to be innocuous. The instances of aggression isolated and small, and they generally functioned quite well as a micro society. How disappointing for him.

He was so disappointed. This is a result man. This is interesting. They're getting matching tattoos once they're back on land and like they're vowing to catch up every year they're going to meet back at the Canary Islands for a reunion. He's like, oh! I really don't think scientists should go into a study like how do we get this result I want. Yeah, yep. Yes, but I don't know, I'm not a scientist. I've got to make that clear.

I've got to put that on the record. Anybody who's listened to this podcast for five minutes or more knows that. Well, yeah, cause I do say it a lot, but people who haven't been listening for five minutes wouldn't have heard since five minutes here when I said it last. I will say it every five minutes and I'll always say that every five minutes. So there was of course some drama on board because they're there for months. For example, the rudder one day broke and everyone thought that Sylvain or Syvane, the French woman picked because she was a very experienced scuba diver, would just jump in and fix it. But Heneves insisted that he himself, without any scuba experience, would do it.

Okay. So, Svane showed him how to use the scuba equipment, but when he jumped in, he instantly struggled and because of his big beard, water leaked into his mask and he had to embarrassingly give up and said he would try again the next morning But when he went to bed, Savaigne at night just jumped in herself and fixed it really really easily. At night, it would have been even easier in the day if she'd just jumped in and fixed it. What's... Wait, when you said Heneves, that is Santiago. That's the main guy?

Yeah, that's the main guy. That's Santiago. What is he doing? That's weird, it feels like no one's been affected by his study apart from him. He's losing his mind. He's losing it. And when he found out the next morning that they'd done it without him, he was furious. Did you get violent? So ironically, amongst the participants, he seems to be the only one struggling with women

being given jobs to do. That's so funny. And being trusted to get the job done. And he's like, oh no, I'll do it. And then when a lady does it, he's like, oh, I was going to do it. Where everyone else is like, obviously the person who has this specific skill should do it. Yeah.

She's a very experienced scuba diver. Let's let her do it. It's one of the reasons why surely you picked her to be here very strange man He's oh, I think we really should I'm worried that Dave is giving us a skewed version of events I reckon if he was here, he'd tell us it it was all really good and very sciencey. Yeah, and and very violent. Yeah Very sound. Yeah, most of this is based on his own diary. He's sounding, his own words are sort of... It's making him sound insane.

Is he being hoisted on his own petard? Whatever that saying means. Let's say yes. Okay great. Whatever that saying means. Let's say yes. Okay, great. So he noted down everything, taking copious notes and plotting complicated graphs of every participant's moods and feelings. He noted when the women had their periods. Why? Their anxieties, their dreams, any sexual tension or jealousy between the crew and the

members. And then he cross referenced all those with the daily fluctuation in temperature, the size of the waves, the cycle of the moon, so he's got these crazy complicated graphs with all this stuff, like hand drawn out. But it sounds like he got a bit bored of waiting for things to naturally kick off, so he started asking, what if this doesn't lead to anything and I've risked all of our lives for nothing? He'd already been disowned by his university and he needed this study to mean something and he felt like he needed to take matters into his own hands. By day 51, he felt the group had lost interest in the experiment.

Everyone was getting along too well and disappointed by the lack of sexual jealousy. Santiago Heneves told them they had become too comfortable and began to play what he called the game of truth, where he would read aloud the crew's sexual appetites as a means to inspire an emotional response. So he read out the answers they'd given to what they thought were the secret questionnaires. Yeah, that's no good. Stuff like, who would you most want to have sex with?

Or who would you want to kick off the raft to try and create fake tension? Oh, man, please tell me they'll just elders have a really nice mature conversation about stuff. That'd be so good. Well this is really inappropriate Santiago, but it is true. I did have a tough time with you and that's why I said that you would be the person I want to kick off, but I wasn't in a reasonable frame of mind at that point. And I'm really sorry.

I had no idea that you would ever hear about this. And upon reflecting on it, I think what it really comes down to is just a difference in communication styles. And I think I've actually since been sort of working on being more in tune with how you communicate, how I need to communicate. And personally, I think we've been getting along even better since. I'd love to hear your thoughts as well on that.

Oh, I am totally with you. And please, I understand. I had to answer the same question. We were put in this strange situation and we're dealing with it as best as we can. But I respect you and I really appreciate how you're going about things. I actually think it's interesting too, because yes, on that questionnaire, I said you're the really appreciate how you're going about things. I actually think it's interesting too because yes on that questionnaire I said you're the

person I'd kicked off but Santiago if you could read my most recent one I think you'll find this quite interesting, the person I'd most like to have sex with is now you. And isn't that such an interesting way that we've evolved? Well Santiago if you could jump ahead to my one and if I could just say Mr. Bongos, can we retreat to the net? I'll meet you in the net in five. So something like this? Is that how it's going to go?

Is that what happens Dave? Kind of. He revealed that Dr. Edna wrote that she would most like to have sex with Jose Maria. Who wouldn't? He's the stud on the ship. But he also revealed that Jose Maria had written that Edna was the most annoying woman he'd ever met because she talks all the time to try and create the tension. Yeah. And this didn't really work so he started taking people aside and saying stuff like,

hey, this person said this about you. How do you feel about that? Maybe you should take some action, like literally encouraging them to confront each other. Hey, I'll show you where I hid the axe. Like what do you think he'd be happy if somebody died on this expedition? He's like now again somewhere. Yeah. Remember he was happy when a hijacker pulled a gun on his plane.

Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Because he like, yeah, it's just, it's very bizarre that like, if the violence does happen now, what does that prove? Exactly. It proves that he can start a fight if he manipulates people enough. I don't know what is that proving? If you punch someone in the face, they might punch you back. What does that mean? Yeah. It's, the less they, they take the bait, the more interesting it is. It's like, there's something about being on a raft that just makes people really placid if they're hot.

Yeah. A bunch of hotties on a raft. They have a great time. Only if they have to shoot in public. American lady Mary Gidley claims that Henevers unprovoked one day just threw a bucket of water in her face. She said it was like a shock treatment. Like he was just

trying to get a reaction out of it. This guy's weird. He abused the other American lady, Faye, raciously calling the African American woman a primitive, a thief and lazy, just trying to get her to react. Oh my fucking good. Dr. Ender described his behavior like a dictator. For example, one day he decided that everyone had to spend the day naked. Why is anyone taking his... Why are they still doing what he says? Or maybe they're not. Feels like this is ending with him being thrown overboard. The way he's going, right? In the end, the only person that these mini experiments provoked anger towards was Henevez himself. Everyone had had enough. One day on the roof of the Akali, a small group of the crew secretly met up

and realized that Henevez was a threat to their personal safety. And they conspired to kill him. Oh, shit. Yeah, fair enough. Well, so yeah. And he's getting like stabbed over. He's like, I He's like I knew it

I knew they'd get violent humans hot humans on a raft That is classic humans, classic hot humans on a raft for their shit in public I'm just gonna make notes on this, I'm just gonna have to go to the red zone Let me write it down, let me write it down Oh my god They started saying could one of them possibly Esuka the Japanese cameraman Confront Heneves during rough weather and quote-unquote an accident could befall their tormentor who may fall overboard mysteriously. But it's a raft that's not moving super fast.

But he struggled with scuba gear. Yeah true. So probably without a beer voice. He's not going to last long. But also I'm like as the Japanese cameraman is there a way that we can do it so that I'm not the only one committing the murder? Well, how about this for a plan, Matt. Faye, the American thought that they could steal some drugs from Dr. Edna and give Henevez

an injection that could stop his heart. But she wanted everyone involved to do it together so they could all. Yes. Her plan was to lay their hands on top of the syringe and all plunge it in together at the same time so they're all guilty. Yes, Agatha was to lay their hands on top of the sriracha and all plunge it in together at the same time So they're all guilty. Yes, I get the Christy. Yeah good stuff. Is that what Agnes was short for I guess a Christy Who's Agnes? Is there not an Agnes? Edna? Oh Edna

Agnes and Edna is the same name in my head. Agreed, yeah I actually agree with you on that one. Okay, alright. Who's Agnes? See, like you know you've gone too far when even Dave's just like, what the fuck are you talking about? I think it's Principal Skinner's mum and wife or something, right? That's why I'm confusing him maybe. Ah, that's Edna Kay.

Edna, yep. So Santiago didn't know any of this, but in a way his provocations for violence were working, but just not against each other, just against him, which is so funny. So good. And deserved. In the end, they decided not to act and no violence was committed against him. They decided to not kill the man, but they openly talked about it. That's disappointing in a way that he was not killed. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.

But even funnier that no matter what he did, he could not get them to show any signs of violence at all. Yeah, he could have pulled a gun and they would have been like, oh yeah. Really Santiago, you're a bit much, mate. Let's sit down and talk about this. Can we tone this down? All right, bud. Are you constipated?

Do you need to poo? What's going on in the mind of Santiago? Yeah. What was your dad like, Santiago? You know, they get really deep. Unfortunately for the crew, Captain Maria realized that they had probably left too late in the year and calculated that their journey was taking longer than expected, meaning they would be arriving in the Caribbean Sea during hurricane season.

Perfect. The tension between Captain Maria and Santiago continued to boil over and one day at dinner, she openly confronted him about what he wanted to achieve with the experiment. Everyone went silent and he said to find a way to create peace on earth to which she just openly rolled her eyes. It's pretty hard to subtly roll your eyes to be honest. That's funny, it's so funny they're still meeting for dinner but I guess it's such a small place that you'd... You can't get away. You can't get away.

Anyway, I guess I'll see this psycho at dinner again. But you'd be seeing him almost nonstop because he would always be in... He's always there. Are they like... Is there like shade on this boat? Or is they just getting sunburnt as well? That's all I'm thinking about. I'm seasick and I'm burnt to a crisp. By day two, I'm dead.

I don't think they're getting much shade, no. I would have vomited my guts out. I'd have no more guts. Gee, so you feel pretty good then. You don't get rid of the guts. Yeah, pretty good then. You don't get rid of the guts. Yeah, who needs them? Once you get rid of your guts, I don't think you can get sick in your guts anymore. True, you can't drop your guts either.

You can't drop your guts. No guts to drop. I would just be farting up a storm on this raft and blaming other people. That's how I'd get the violence started. Well, I don't think there's nowhere for it. out in the sea air. I don't think it would linger long. Dave's very good. Oh yeah. But I'd do it in the cabin and I'd say, oh, Jose Maria farted. How do you feel about that? Maybe you should take some action.

You're a diabolical, Dave. You should be a psychologist, Dave. So Captain Maria was right because when they met it to the Caribbean they were warned that they were veering into the path of Tropical Storm Brenda which was expected to become a hurricane. The crew were scared upon hearing the news but Heneves quietly confessed in his diary that he was excited because some real tension might be about to finally kick off. For fuck's sake. He wrote, a dangerous hurricane might be exactly what we need to let the experiment evolve.

He genuinely wishes for death for everybody. He wants, yeah, he's insane. They all just, they work together to avoid catastrophe. They actually find a cure for hurricanes. And he's disappointed. We're not achieving anything. We haven't had a hurricane since. Well, Maria, the captain of the raft,

said that they needed to stop the expedition and take shelter from the hurricane in a nearby Caribbean island. But feeling that coming into contact with civilization would contaminate the experiment, Santiago refused. He said, for the sake of science, we must continue no matter what. Yeah, it's really important to him that there's no interference with this.

It's pure. It has to be pure. We set up the experiment and we just let it run its course. Yes, yes. Yes. You know, we can't stop and introduce new people in a new setting, then the experiment, we'll never know how people react when you just put them on a raft together. We'll never know. So Maria refused to take responsibility for the, like put the crew in danger and she said,

I need to stop if I'm the captain. So in response, Santiago stripped her of her title and took control of the raft in itself and said, now I'm the captain and we're going. Is that a mutiny? Is that what that is? Yeah, he mutinied. Oh my God.

They're gonna mutiny back, shall we? Yep, yep, yep. But also he doesn't know what he's, oh no, he does have a boating experience, unfortunately. I was gonna be like, if I was Maria, I'd just be like, okay, yep, no worries. And then I'd just be steering for that little island anyway. Yeah, because yeah, she has a lot more experience than him, that's for sure.

As the weather worsened, he of course ordered they take care of all of the essentials by wrapping up the film and his notes in plastic so they didn't get destroyed. That's all he cares about. The essentials, the food is just falling into the sea. Yeah, that's right. He's losing crew members. Where are my notes? Who's got my notes?

Who's got my notes? Who's got my graphs? The integrity of this scientific experiment is on the line here. People are just drowning around him. Where are the nodes? So they all bunkered down inside the cabin, staring at each other in silence, just hoping that they weren't about to drown. Thankfully, they made it through the storm, and fortunately they were only brushed by the hurricane and didn't feel its full force. Meanwhile, Maria

was very upset and felt that she'd had a mutiny against her. She was honestly seething. Oh now we're getting somewhere. This is science. Finally. Then one morning when everyone was asleep, the person on deck on lookout ran into the cabinet and screamed, there's a ship coming down on us! And everyone ran to the deck and a massive shipping freighter was dangerously close to the raft and heading straight for them. And without a motor, they were absolutely sitting

ducks. Faye jumped on the radio and tried to contact them, but there was no response. She was just paging them over and over and over again. And remember Santiago said, in dangerous situations, people show their natural instincts? Mmm. Well, he's the captain of the ship now, remember? And he absolutely panicked. You don't say. He was running around the deck, he had no idea what to do. This ship hasn't seen them, it's about to run into them.

Can I guess what he does? He's freaking out, screaming. Does he abandon ship? Almost, he's so close to doing that. Meanwhile, Maria, who had the captaincy stripped from her, was very calm and started giving everyone orders. They sounded the raft's horn, they lit flares, they were waving the flares back and forth, and at the last second, the huge ship saw them and changed course, avoiding what would have been for them a fatal collision. Wow. After this incident, Maria resumed the captaincy and Henevers retreated to his bunk where he

remained basically for the rest of the journey. He sulked the rest of the time. Man, this guy sucks. So again, he wants to know what people will do in dangerous situations and what they did was worked together and stayed calm and did really well. That's a result. You've got a result. Yeah for your experiment a really interesting result Yes, surprising stuff. He can't say it in front of him, but he has this really interesting story There's really interesting study like yes Like what you're saying and he just can't say that because it's not what he wanted it to be and if he wants people to panic

He shouldn't have he shouldn't have recruited highly skilled people. Yeah. Like you've got a really good captain on board. So yeah, she thought, she thought of other things to do to alert them and to gain attention, like put me on if you want absolute chaos. If you want us to die. But I'm sorry, I'm only, what did we say? Three maybe?

Sorry, I'm not a stone cold hottie. Yeah, that's your problem. Like it's starting to feel like it's the Joe Blow show or whatever, where the, everyone was actually a paid actor apart from him. And the experiment was really on him. He thought he was observing them, but it's really, Hey, we're watching you, dude. Yeah. And you're not doing well.

You're not doing great, if we're being honest. He was actually he was super embarrassed about sort of panicking and he wrote in his diary after sort of slunking back to his cabin, the only one who has shown any kind of aggression is me, a man trying to control everyone else, including himself. That's the first bit of self-awareness he's ever shown. Yes. He also claims that at this moment he cried for the first time since he was a child. What? Honestly, it sounds like he had a full-on breakdown from this point on because he lost

heaps of weight. He became unkempt and eventually got quite sick with a fever and the doctor thought that he might have appendicitis. Although some of the other crew thought that he was faking his illness and just sulking and he lost track of the day, stopped giving out questionnaires and basically from his perspective the experiment was over. Wow, what a loser. Yeah, the rest of the crew they just stopped believing in him altogether and they just became tighter with each other, sort of cutting him out, they don't need him anymore, they work together and over the last few weeks of the trip they just had a nice time together.

Wow. That's nice. Still fucking and sucking though? few weeks of the trip they just had a nice time together. Wow. That's not. Still fucking and sucking though? Oh, of course. Yeah, great. In moderation. Everything they do is just the right amount. Yeah, just right.

So the Akali and its crew finally made it to Cozumel in Mexico after 101 days at sea. So about 11 days longer than they thought it was going to take. Their arrival was of course sexualised in the media and not surprisingly Santiago Henevez hated that. The New Yorker writes, A UPI cable announcing the Akali's arrival in Mexico leeringly described its crew as quote, bare chested men and bikini clad women on a craft quote, skippered by a buxom Swedish blonde.

When the women especially returned to shore, they were especially shocked by the media coverage. They were like, what the fuck? We've been on this scientific journey and you've been writing about us like this, we had no idea. In a paper published a few years later in 1977, Santiago estimated that 80% of the questions he received about the experiment were sexually orientated,

which is I, kind of ironic as he was also asking them constantly about sex. Yeah. He was being asked about it and being like, oh, why are you obsessed with sex? He can't be that upset, can he? Yeah. So he wanted to ask the question, can we live without war? Can people get along?

And it turns out the answer is yes, people can because everyone got on really well. And despite his attempts at making it difficult, despite their different backgrounds and first languages and the obvious challenges of spending 101 days together confined at sea, but he seemed to miss all of that in his experiment. He didn't see that that was interesting and that that was a result in itself. So funny. He wrote about the voyage in a 1975 best-selling book called the Akali experiment five men and six women on a raft across the Atlantic for a hundred and one days, which is a catchy title. It's pretty

Too long and quite boring and not even the right wasn't a hundred and eleven days. You can't even get it, right? No, it was a hundred one was hundred one. Okay. Well eleven days longer than they'd thought it was gonna be Okay, that's where you had 11 from. I look pretty silly now and I apologize. And that's why Dave doesn't want to have sex with you on this boat. What Dave? Just because I got a number wrong. Yeah, that's a big turn off for Dave. I said, do you want a 58? I said, I don't think I can get into that position. That's hard. Am I the five or the eight? Regardless, impossible.

You look like a snowman and I'll do this. Look like a five to listeners. I look like a perfect five. That was a very good five. Yes. You wish you were a five. As for his book, the Sunday Telegraph described it as a repositioning of his very experiment Yes. You wish you were a five. Yeah. As for his book, The Sunday Telegraph described it as a repositioning of his very experiment

as the historically significant discovery of a new man. So he tried to be like, I've discovered a lot about people in this book, but really it was pretty bullshit what he was writing. Quite a bestseller. But yeah, it sold well, sold well. Eight hours of 16 millimeter camera footage was taken on board by Esucar because he actually had a deal with a Mexican TV station and they were going to make something out of it, but they didn't in the end.

So it could have been like the first reality show. They still have the footage? Yes, because that footage and his writing was the basis of a 2019 documentary called The Raft, directed by Swedish filmmaker Marcus Lindeen. Lindeen reunited the seven surviving members of the experiment who regrouped 43 years later. Wow. Sadly, Heneves himself was no longer around to be interviewed.

I'll say more on him in a second. But getting the crew together over four decades later was quite difficult as their names had been lost to history as Heneves had written about them using pseudonyms. But they were eventually tracked down. And for the doco, a full-size wooden replica of the raft was built so that the survivors could go on it again and reminisce and point to like, I used to sleep there. That's where the toilet was and just sort of have memories come back to them. How would it take in a while to get that replica going?

Or like two, three hours? We'll whack it together. Yeah. So sort of like a big flat thing and then yeah. Bit of effort there for a docker. Small room in the middle. Yeah. I really enjoyed it.

It's if you want to, if you can track it down online, which I, I did it slow and beautifully shot and not surprisingly a lot of info from this report comes from especially the stuff about the memories that they have. Well Dave you can tell us how hot were they? Still absolutely smoking 43 years later. Oh my god. No surprise there. No surprises. No surprise there. Especially those two sexy 23 year olds. Oh my gosh, yeah now they're on 66. Still spring chickens. Yes, please. It's the best resource I could find for hearing his diary on the experiment. It was also interesting to see the crew reunited decades later. At one stage for some reason the people all now in their 60s and 70s stand together and

stare at the camera whilst a fan blows their faces. It's so funny. I don't know why they did that. But then did they start having sex? Because that's all we and anybody else cares about with this experiment. So they still suck it and fuck it? Look, they didn't show any of that, but that was... Was it implied? Heavily? Reading between the lines.

Yeah, okay, good. As for Santiago himself, he was the central author of the Seville Statement on Violence, which was a 1986 paper signed by 20 scientists from around the world in what was the first global pronouncement to reject biological pessimism. He stayed in the scientific community. He won the Pope John the 23rd Memorial International Peace Prize in the 80s. And I'm unhappy to report that that was a non sexually active pope. So don't know how. If that means anything.

Would have meant nothing to him. Yeah. And the New Yorker actually writes that in the 80s he was also nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. So what was he doing in the 80s? It's still the violent stuff. Sucking and fucking. It's like I violent stuff. Sucking and fucking. Sucking on fucking the world of peace. Sadly all good things must come to an end and Santiago Henaveres died himself in 2013 at the age of 89. Well that's a pretty good innings especially because on the raft

they did plot to kill him. So I think you know, I think making it to 89 is a blessing in a few different ways for him. He did a right. He did a right in the end. Wow. Wow. You almost did that. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

You do it better. Do that one you do. Wow. So that's my report on the Akali aka the sex raft. Well done Dave. what a story. And it makes sense that you were telling that story from Adelaide, the sex raft of Australia. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. I actually wondered why we've always called it that, but now it makes complete sense.

Oh yeah, a lot of SNNFing going on in these streets, I tell you. I bet. A lot of. But not much violence, if any. And not much KFC after 1am. But before that, so much. But after it, as many pie floaters as you like. 24 hours a day.

Have you been to a 24 hour yet? Well, the one I went was 24 or 7, but I did just go at 1 in the afternoon at quite an appropriate time. Yeah, reasonable time to have a pie. Lunch. An inappropriate time. For a, what a waste. This is normal bakery hours. It did feel like a waste.

What's the other one though? O'Connell Street. O'Connell Street Bakery in North Adelaide, also 24-7. I love that culture here Adelaide, I love it. I love it so much too. It's so weird that it hasn't caught on elsewhere. Yeah, we needed Cafe de Villiers and O'Connell Bakery. Yeah, why aren't they franchising it out here?

Hey, Dave, do you have time to do everyone's favourite section of the show? I don't think I quite do, sorry. You son of a bitch. Anything you want to tell us before you go? You don't want to show up at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, do you? Yes, I'm doing a show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival at the Improv Conspiracy, the first two weekends, Thursday to Sunday. And now Sam Peterson and I have dated the entire audience in Adelaide. It's time to bring this show home and date people in Melbourne.

That's so good. And are you going to use any of Santiago's teachings? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You're going to try and make the audience. An S or an F. Well, that's exciting. I cannot wait to see that. It is like, like I do get you like you to fill out a survey on your phone. You get to vote for what we do, but I don't say of the two people on stage right now, who would you most like to have sex with? There's time to add that question in.

Yeah, that's true. I reckon that's a good one actually. Yeah. And that would create violence between Sammy and I. So that's good. And that's what I've always wanted to see in a show, is you two just beating the shit out of each other. Dave, is it true that we're doing a show at the Festival Club as well now? Oh my gosh, yes, this is very, very exciting. We are doing Do Go On, the quiz show, live late night at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Club.

What an honour to be asked to do that. It's an iconic gig. So cool. And we are doing, it's a late night on a Wednesday, it's Wednesday April the 2nd, I believe it's about 10.30 at night, but come out with us. Late on a Wednesday we're going to have some great guests from the festival and I'll be quizzing Matt and Jess about a brand new topic and we're going to have a few laughs. That's at Max Watts' house of sound.

Where Dave and I saw Coheed and Cambria. That's right. Almost 20 years ago now. Finally. Coming full circle. I saw Tism there. I've seen so many great shows at that venue. And yes, so people come along that and then it turns into a club afterwards.

So you can come watch a quiz and then dance the night away. That's right. You've already paid for the club. So you may as well. It costs you money not to dance. Come watch a quiz and then dance the night away. If I understand you. That's right, you've already paid for the club. So you may as well. Cost you money not to dance. Thanks so much, Dave. Now piss off.

Sorry. Love you guys. Do you have peas? Off. Oh, can I have a can of peas, please? Can I have a can of peas, please? Come on. I'm off to down my canapes, bye. All right, now we've said goodbye to that.

I was going to say loser, but it doesn't feel right joking when he's not here. That lovely little man. That gorgeous boy. That apple of my eye. We simply adore. But we've said goodbye to him and now we're saying hello to everyone's favorite section of the show where we We thank the people who make this show possible our supporters who get involved at patreon.com slash to go on pod Bunch of different things you can get involved in if you sign up there you get four bonus episodes a month

putting a D&D campaign bonus report the movie club other bits and. You also get access to the Facebook group, nicest corner of the internet. You get the ad free feed and heaps of other things. You can vote on topics like Dave's topic today was voted on by the Patreons. Patreon.com slash jingling pod.

Another thing we do is a sections show called the Fat Quote or Question section, which actually has a jingle, goes something like this. Fat quote or question section, which actually has a jingle, go something like this. Fact, quote or question. Dong. He always remembers the Dong show, remembers the song. And in this section, people on the Sydney Schomburg level or above, I get to give the fact, a quote or a question or a braggart suggestion

or really whatever they like. They also get to give themselves a title on. Normally read one, two, three, something like that out. Let's see how we go today. First one comes from Siraj. And Siraj has given himself the title of junior intern at totally legit and fully approved imports and exports.com. Oh, great. And Siraj is asking a question writing, any wrecks for Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Obviously we will all go see everyone that's ever been on any Do Go On universe show.

Yeah, Dave's doing his show like you're saying, Dave Dotes the audience. I'm doing my show, Bad Boy at Spleen. So I think he's doing the first half, I'm doing the second half, we're tagging in. And we're doing that show at the high five, uh, the max Watts. Well, um, but anyway, as we always ask the question askers to answer their own questions, so I just done that while Jess is thinking of any tips she's got.

Siraj's are Furioso, man looking for trouble. Gary star classic penguins. garages are Furioso, man looking for trouble. Gary Starr, classic penguins. Two Hearts, don't stop throbbing. Mel and Sam, no hat, no play. The Cabaret. Oh, that's good. These are all great names, if real. Two Hearts are really great.

Don't Stop Throbbing is such a fun name. That's very good. And I think Furioso, what festival was it? Maybe it was Comedy Festival last year. Am I thinking of the right one? I don't know. Heard a lot of good buzz, I think. And I think Siraj sees a lot of comedy. Yeah. So I think he, I mean, obviously everyone's taste in comedy is different. But Siraj's is correct. So you can take his advice. But also when you watch a lot of comedy you end up probably starting to like weirder stuff. Yeah, I always love to watch Hot Department for that.

They're very sketch comedy and they're very funny. Any other tips from you, Poppa? Cameron James obviously is coming to do his show. Is Michelle doing a show? No, she's not doing a show this year. Miss, well, which Big Wet is? I'm excited for Zach and Alexi's show. Oh yeah.

Which I think will be really great. Directed by Michelle Brazier, but she's not doing the festival this year. Yeah, Broden Kelly, just, I saw a trial of his show this week and it was really fun. Just doing a solo show, so. Serenjai Maner's turn show. There's a world where my head ought to be.

Very good stuff. Jordan Barr. Love Jordan Barr. There's lots of good ones. So many good shows. Um, but yeah, so, uh, the main one is to see me. Yep. Obviously.

Adwoa, that's the big one. Yes. Was that on Siraj's list or? I think it was implied. Implied. It was implied. Really, obviously. Adwoa, that's the big one. Yes. Is that on Siraj's list or? I think it was implied. Implied, yes. It was implied, really, really between the lines. He said anyone who's ever been on a Dooku or on a Universe show. And I suppose that technically includes you.

Technically that includes me, yeah. Technically, if we're really splitting hairs. And we are. We will be, yes. If it helps, me. Thank you, Siraj. Next one comes from Lum, aka Chancellor of Admiration and Adoration. And this might be the first time I've had this.

It's a butter up slash brag. Oh. And Lum writes, hello Matt, Jess and Dave. I've been listening to the pod for a while now. And while I'm halfway through my third time running the gauntlet of the free pods I've finally become able to contribute and get involved in everyone's favorite section of the show. I wanted to use my first FAQ question to let you all know how much I love the pod, how much I'm looking forward to being involved in the patreon and how excited I am to finally be able to back you guys

for how much you've given me and to the wider podcasting world ofs. I'm a die hard DIY guy and admire the shit out of how you guys have built a community out of a love for facts, silliness and laughs all on your own dime, time and passion. That's the buttering up bit I reckon. I also have a tiny little itty bitty brag to tack onto the end here about my wonderful, intelligent, talented and hard working girlfriend. If you guys don't mind indulging me, please do. The brag is simple. In mid-Feb, she's releasing her first ever album.

Her artist name is Losty. L-O-S-T-I-L-O-S-T-I. Pronounced Lost-E. Her sound is dreamy, ethereal, radio head inspired trip hop with floaty female vocals. Well that sounds good. Not setting a high expectation there, bloody hell. She's been a working musician and a music teacher in tertiary ed for a long time and

I'm so proud of her for achieving this and for working so hard over the past 12 months to record make posters tote bags Press kits etc to make it happen That's losty. I'm definitely Look up the losty album after this. She has an Instagram losty music at losty music more details about album stuff and gigs But totally understand if it's not appropriate thing to share it's okay if you leave this bit out well we'll leave that up to AJ we've said it now if AJ cuts it out it'll look like I decided to sit it was inappropriate and I trust AJ with my life anyway so cheers to you guys Losty

and this community of build thank you for indulging. And I'm looking forward to getting involved. Hey, it's so good to have you involved Lum. Welcome aboard Lum. Welcome. Get involved. That's very nice of you. And in the, in the Facebook group, you should definitely do a post about Losty's album. All right.

Next one comes from Craig Delgano. Okay. Goodest dog patter of the podcast. Ooh, an important role. And Craig, or Craig, is asking a question. Are there any plans to come to Perth? If so, can we have a beer at the new driving range that does food, go to Scarborough for an ice cream,

pad some dogs there, watch the sunset on the hill, then head over to the Indie Bar to see a gig? Are we dating? Craig? That is, uh, that is a beautiful date. Yeah. I mean, it sounds fantastic. Uh, Craig does say, I'm realizing this is sounding like I'm

asking you all what a date. And you know what? I'm going to roll with it. Is it too soon to say I love you? Yes, Craig. I'm going to say it anyway. Love you three. Rock on. Craig, you're crazy.

Diggsie. Cheers, Diggsie. We don't have plans to come. You know, and I've said this to people as I've been travelling around who've asked, we were planning a full Australian tour for the first half of this year, but a few things in life have gotten away and it's been delayed, unfortunately. We were a ways down the path booking venues in a bunch of different places. It will happen.

We're going to do it. And Perth is right up there on the list. Yeah, we haven't been for a long time. So unfortunately so unfortunately there's no immediate plans, but it is definitely, it's an ongoing discussion that we're having. Yeah. Personally, I am coming to Perth. I'm coming for the Perth Comedy Festival, uh, May 2nd and May 3rd at the Regal Theatre. I didn't know that.

That sounds too good for me. Fit for a king. The king of puns. Hang on. The king of sting. I'm the bad boy of comedy. You're not. You're very nice. Oh, yeah. That's what you would say, you bitch. Do you have any plans to come to Perth? No, no plans. But we will. we'll be there.

Brisbane, we also haven't been to Brisbane in so long. Yeah, it's been a long time. So we are, we're definitely intending to get back to all these places. Yeah, and we will. But nothing in concrete yet, but you will be the first to know as soon as we know. Yes, the Patreon's always here first. Yep. And the last one this week comes from, oh man, Murray Summerville, who I met.

I believe, maybe it was for the first time. Met very briefly when I was in Brisbane last month. So lovely. I was minutes away from the show starting and I was walking to the bar to try to order a burger quickly before going on. And so I had to be, I'm like, I'm so sorry, it's so nice to meet you, but I'm so hungry, I'm about to an hour on stage, I just need to quickly eat a burger. And so I ended up being, hopefully not too rude to you, Murray. But anyway Murray. You were minutes from going on stage

and you thought they'll have a burger just ready to go. No, I mean, I thought I was pushing my luck, luck but I did, I gotta eat about half of one. Okay. Anyway, Murray's got the title of Head of Department of This Looked Better in My Head and it's a fact. The fact is, heard a fact recently that actually blew my mind. I used to think moths were just a bit dim, mindlessly flying towards lights like tiny fuzzy idiots. But it turns out it's not stupidity, it's

a tragic glitch in their navigation system. Moths naturally keep their backs to the brightest light, like the moon, to fly straight. But when artificial lights show up, their brains panic making them keep their backs to the light and spiral in a desperate attempt to escape that never works. Oh my God, poor little guys, they're not dumb, just victims of us humans switching our lights on. Oh, that is brutal. That is awful.

That is a grim fact. Dave's not here, but that is grim. Oh my God. No, I'm grim facts, I know, Dave's facts. Oh, yeah, you're grim. I apologize. You need to respect me more. I don't Don't and I won't please what you need to respect me more. No Thank you, sir That's a wild factor. Yeah, Murray. But yeah, so sad. I will be turning off the front light off as soon as possible.

I normally turn it on all the time, standing out there pointing at Moscow. Look at this idiot. Silly fools. Look at this stupid little moth. Thank you so much Murray, Craig, Lum and Siraj. The next thing we like to do is thank a few of our great Patreon supporters. We're on the sign out level or above. Jess, you know when we come up with a game to play with each name based on the topic

at hand? What about their job on the raft? Oh, great. We're making our own raft and we're assigning them jobs. Do you want to read the names or do the jobs? I want to read the names. Okay, I'm though, okay. I don't know why you did that to yourself, you idiot.

I don't know, I thought you would go the other way, but that's alright. I'll help you. I'm really read the names. Okay. I don't know why you did that to yourself. You idiot. I don't know. I thought you would go the other way, but that's all right. I'll help you. I'm really good at this. Yes, you are. So it's fine. So first up from Croydon Park in New South Wales, welcome onto the boat.

Dolly Parton stunt double. Well, I mean, that is a job. It's hard when the name is a job. Yeah. Must, they've got to be Dolly Parton stunt double, right? Yeah, I mean, that is a job. It's hard when the name is a job. Yeah. Must, they've got to be Dolly Parton's stunt double, right? Yeah, I guess so. Yep. Yeah. Cause I mean, imagine if we made the next person, Dolly Parton's stunt double

and you're like, well, that's silly. Yeah. Cause that is so, I mean, I don't know if you've mentioned it, but, uh, you've already hired our captain, right? It's Dolly Parton. Yeah. So yeah, of course we need a stunt double. You're not getting on a raft with any other captain other than Dolly Parton.

And Dolly was, she was like, I'm really keen, but I don't do my own stunts anymore. We said, that's, that's fine. That's absolutely fair, Dolly. We'll make, uh, yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll do what we can and we'll hire someone. Aye, aye, captain, we said. Yeah. And so first up, our first role is Dolly Parton stunt double. So welcome aboard. Next from Hutchinson in Kansas, I would like to welcome aboard Lucas. Dog sitter. Lucas is a dog sitter on board. Obviously I've traveled with Goose because I'm one of those people who can never be away from my dog at all. And so Lucas is in charge of looking after Goose, because I'm one of those people who can never be away from my dog at all. And so Lucas is in charge of looking after Goose and any other crew dogs. Yeah.

While you're, cause I think Humphrey will be there, Dave's dog. So yeah, while you're on deck, steering the boat, which we'll have to do at times, Goose will need to be sat by Lucas. Exactly right. We've got a little, a little pen. It's like a little doggy daycare. It's quite cute. Yeah.

Uh, next up from, oh, address unknown. We can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles, William Moy. Ooh, night watchman. Night watchman, yeah, sleeps through the day. Yeah. And then, well, no, more of the cricket. We'll send him out if, uh, if it's getting late in the day and, uh, we lose a top order wicket, uh, we'll send William in.

Mm-hmm. That made complete sense to me. And I have no follow-up questions. You know, for the cricket we're playing on board, I think it was cause the mole I'm thinking like, but it doesn't, the can't see very well, right? Moles or at all, maybe not watch. When it's the perfect role for a mole. Or is it, yeah, I think used to playing in darkness.

Yes, there is a logic there. There's something there. I think Kansas also linked me to Toto, uh, the dog. I think that's how my brain got there. I like how your brain works. Do you want it. Do you want me to give you workings out? Nah, just let me get lost in the mystery of it. The listeners at home can, they'll figure it out for themselves. It's pretty clear links.

Yeah, straightforward. It's opposite of tenuous. Yeah. Next up from Verwood in Dorset, it's Katie and Jacob Rowe. Dorset. Katie and Jacob R. Dorset. Dorset. Katie and Jacob Row. Okay. We've got a couple here, brother and sister or couple. Either way, they're two people. That's a couple. That's true.

That's all I'm saying. Katie and Jacob, okay. I'm just saying you're a couple of people and you're also a couple of oil riggers. Yes. Yep. Every raft needs oil riggers and we were very happy to score the Rose. They're the best, best in the biz. Yeah. Even I don't know how I made a connection there. So, but I'm sure the listeners will find it.

They'll figure it out. Someone in the Facebook group will be, they'll have a photo with red strings on a cork board. Figuring out. The Charlie Day meme. Yes. Yep. Next up from, it's Albany in Western Australia, isn't it? It's not Albany. I believe it's Albany.

Albany in Western Australia. Kelly Ridley. Oh, Kelly Ridley, of course. The, the comic, comical villain. Yeah. Of the boat. Yes.

Every, every raft needs a villain, comical. Yes. And Kelly fills that role perfectly actually. Yes. Really toes the line of like, whoa, evil, but also pretty funny. Pretty funny and also like always explaining the plan so we can foil it. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Very cartoonish. And it's perfect. From Western Supermare. That's where John Cleese is from. Ah, it's Alex W. Alex W. Alex W is, you know, the, the sketch performer.

I wonder if you can figure out how I made that connection. They do. Alex does a nightly improv show. Yeah. Because again, we've also banned books or video games or phones or anything. So, um, it was important to obviously, and, you know, a, a, a raft. Captained by Dolly Parton. There's going to be some entertainment, you know, but we wanted some variety. So yeah, Dolly, yeah, on a, on board a Dolly boat, you know, you will work nine to five,

but after hours there is room for fun. And yeah, Dave, being our version of Santiago, is insisting that Alex W does the show nude. Yeah, and Alex, I just want you to know Matt and I are fighting Dave on that. Yeah, we think that's not okay. We don't think that's okay, unless it's something you want to do.

We're not prudes. If that's a part of your creative process, we support it. Yes. But you are certainly not gonna be forced to do that. I think so. Don't worry, but try to avoid Dave if you can. Next up from Campsie in New South Wales, Neva Tilly. Neva Tilly, uh, the, uh, doctor of, um, double doctor, actually Neva medical

doctor, but also doctor of ships. Ship doctor. So really actually super important player in the team. Neva Tilly. God, I hope nothing happens to Neva Tilly. No, all of our eggs are in Neva's basket. Should we get Neva an assistant or something? Well, I don't know.

Like a vice maybe? Do we? Yeah, I don't know. Do we have any? I don't know. We'll find out. All right, let's see. Next up from London in Great Britain, it's Bertie White.

OK, well, Bertie's actually going to play the role of Neva's assistant bookkeeper. OK. Yeah, because Neva's got... Neva's hands are full. Hands are full. Need someone to just cook the books, as Neva says, but always winks when saying that. Cook the books, you know what I mean? Which is weird, because you normally would say like, look after the books and wink. Yeah.

You're sort of saying the quiet part out loud there, Neva. But anyway, we're not going to, you're a double doctor. I'm not going to tell you. Yeah, you do, you. I'm not going to tell you. We're just fucking podcasters. You're a double doctor, okay? We have a bit of respect.

I'm not going to tell you. You're the double doctor. And finally from Edinburgh, also Great Britain, the most beautiful city I've ever seen in my life, Katie Deck. Katie Deck is on board as the shipbuilder. So important to have one of these. Yeah. I mean, obviously the ship's been built, but it's not a good ship.

And as we go, Katie, we start out with this shitty little row. Yeah. But we get to the other end in, you know, Luxra. Yeah. It's like a palatial houseboat. Oh, it's, and- We've all got our own areas, like, you know, we've got really nice king-sized rooms,

en suites, little balconies so we can watch the water. It's lovely. I don't think I did this on purpose, but I'm guessing deck played into that. Probably. Build the deck. Oh, you know, and then, sky's the limit from there. Thank you so much to Katie, Birdie.

Neva. Alex. Kelly. Katie and Jacob. William. Lucas. And Dolly Parton's stunt double. Oh my god, you're all so beautiful.

That's why you're allowed on our ship. That's why. To bring our average up to five. The last thing we need to do is welcome in. Oh, a few, we've got a triptych of triptych inductees this week, just the three. Yep. I mean, just the three. Three is a beautiful number for this segment.

Jess, what is the Triptych Club? Triptych Club is for people who have supported us at patreon.com slash do go on for three consecutive years on the shout out level or above or no. Yes. Yes. I always forget that. And basically it's an exclusive club. Once you're in, you can't leave, but why would you ever want to?

Recent law has suggested that you are all dead and this is like a purgatory type thing. That's law L-O-R-E. Yes. But hopefully soon L-A-W. We will legally be able to kill everyone. Is that what you're saying? No. Yes. Um, but yeah, basically we have a bar.

Dave books a band normally. Um, I'm not sure who's going to take that job. I guess I'll take that job. I'll keep explaining while you take that job. Obviously Dave's already booked it. You just see. Yeah. No, I, yeah. When I say take that job.

And see who's booked, but, um, we have like anything you could sort of imagine or need, we've got it in this very cool exclusive club. I think of it as an airport lounge, but like a nice one. You can think of it however you'd like to. I'm behind the bar. Now I was initially because our man Santiago was from Mexico. I thought, beautiful. I love Mexican food.

Let's have a Mexican feast. But then I remembered as well that the crew, quite beautifully and symbolically, were from all over the world. So instead of doing one thing, Mexican food, really well, I've spread myself a bit thin and I've got a bit of a hodgepodge of all sorts of stuff from all over the world and I haven't done it very well. So you got a lot of variety, but poor quality food. Okay.

Yep. Um, well, I've just, uh, just trying to search in Dave's database here. Yeah. Uh, I think he's booked ninja sex party. Ah, not sure why. That's interesting because it's, it's, it feels almost apt for the topic. Oh yeah, the sex party.

Sounds like a sex raft. Oh yeah, no yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that interesting? Oh yeah. I don't really put that together. Yeah. Apparently they're an American duo, formed in 2009 in New York City, currently based

in LA. There you go. So normally, obviously Dave books a band, I'm behind the bar, Matt is at the door, he's got the clipboard, he welcomes you in, he lifts the velvet rope and Dave normally hypes you up. But Matt will absolutely be the one to hype you up this week. I'll read the names if I could borrow that clipboard. You can hype them up.

What did you say? What drink is it this week? What are they having? Um, a Moscow Mule. Oh, Moscow. Yeah. That's sick. Pretty nice.

Pretty nice. So we've got three people, uh, to welcome into the triptych club. Matt, are you ready? I'm ready. Okay. Well, am I ready? I don't know. Dave does a, he makes it look hard, but I think it's an easy job.

Okay. Well, we'll find out. First up from Elijah in, I'm guessing, Georgia? I'll double check. There's only one G state in America. So that's going to be Georgia. Please welcome in Caroline. Sweet, Caroline.

I'm so sorry. This is harder. This is hard. Welcome in, Caroline. Caroline, you can cut the line and come straight on in. Caroline. All right, that was pretty good. From address unknown, we can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Erin

Fast. Erin Fast, you come in at any pace you like, but just don't make us wait any longer. We can't wait to see Erin Fast. And finally from Kingswood, New South Wales, it's Adam Van Eyck. Adam Van Eyck is your name and you're from Kingswood. You are a king amongst men. Adam Van Ike. Uh, Adam Van Ike, you an angel?

Adam, ah, the King thing that I said. Yeah. Adam Van, hey, hey, hey, get over here quick. Jump in that van. Ike! here quick. Jump in that van. Adam get jump in that van. Hey, you can come over here. Yeah. It's not that easy.

Is it? Did that, did I make it seem too easy? Yeah. Dave's, Dave's gonna really struggle. I've really burst a balloon. Welcome in Adam, Aaron and Caroline. Adam, do you have an uncle called Theo? If so, he might have been my science teacher.

Whoa. I don't know how common Van Icke is. Probably more common than that. But if you've got an uncle Theo, let us know. Let us know. Please. And stick around for Ninja Sex Party about to hit the stage. Grab a Mos Cow mule.

And an array of food from around the world. That's not very good. And I apologize. But hey, you got an array. Okay. Okay. Okay. So before you go, oh, oh, it's not very good.

Well, there's a lot of it. The quality's not there. Well, the quantity is. The quantity is you will not be hungry. You could try a different bad food every meal for the rest of your life. You won't enjoy a single one. No, it'll all be quite bad.

But it'll be different. It's not like bad, like it'll make you feel like, but it's not inedible, but it's just not really good. It's got all the nutrients you need. Yeah, you'll be fine. Some of it is, I would say, right on the edge of too hot. Right on the edge. But avoid soups and you should be fine.

Yeah, avoid soups. The soups are probably the only ones that taste any good, but they are hot. They are way too hot. But if anybody in the triptych club is a stove mechanic, Oh my God, please. could you let us know? Um, uh, Matt, you usually ask me if there's anything else we want to tell people. Oh, is there anything else we want to tell people before we go? Well, it's interesting you say that Matt, um, before we get out of here, uh, thank

you again to the people who suggested this topic. If you want to suggest a topic, you can do so. There's a link in our show notes. It's also on our website, which is do go on pod.com and you can find us at to go on pod across social media or do on podcasts on tick tock. Please find us there. If you, if you listen to this and you're like, I wonder what they look like, boy, oh boy, are there so many ways to find out.

Yeah. And it, uh, it helps us people. Apparently the follow accounts on things like Instagram matter for certain opportunities. So if you want to help us out, give us a follow. And just like everything you ever see us do. That's right. You don't have to be. How hard is it to do that? What's wrong with you?

Oh my God. I was about to be really nice to them. I know. I was trying to be comically mean. I love it. There's never any pressure to support us on Patreon or anything like that. If you don't have the funds, that's A-okay, but there are lots of ways to support us. Like Matt says, follow us on social media, tell some friends about it. Yeah, like and subscribe to our stuff. Now normally, we get... We like you.

We like you. We do a lot for you. Hey, if anything, we love you. We like you a bit too much. We're a bit full on. And what are you doing later? Let's hang out. Let's go to a golf.

Let's go to a golf. Let's go to a golf. Let's go to a golf. So normally I say, Dave, boot this baby home. Do you want the honors of booting it? Yeah, I can't remember what he says or say. And we will say, thank you so much for joining us here on Do Go On.

We'll be back next week with another big topic. I think maybe Jess, I can't remember, but until then, as we always say, no, that's not here. Oh, as we always say. No, no, just say goodbye. No, that's the Patreon episode. Yeah. Anyway, goodbye.

Ladies. See ya. That's you. Ladies. Ladies. Bye. Goodbye ladies! See ya! Ladies! Ladies! Bye! This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform to help you stand out and succeed online.

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