Do Go On - 491 - Rube Waddell: Baseball's Zaniest Pitcher

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Whether you are a baseball fan or not, you will definitely enjoy the story of the life and career of 'The Rube' Waddell. Famous for his pitching skills AND off the field antics.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 4.07 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://sabr.org/bioproj/person/Rube-Waddell/https://www.amazon.com.au/Rube-Waddell-Brilliant-Strikeout-Artist/dp/0786407867?asin=B009TB1AXW&revisionId=c65b96b1&format=1&depth=1 https://pabook.libraries.psu.edu/literary-cultural-heritage-map-pa/bios/waddell__rube#:~:text=Waddell%20was%20born%20to%20his,the%20rest%20of%20their%20lives. https://oddsportsstories.com/2021/10/11/the-eccentric-life-of-rube-waddell/https://ourgame.mlblogs.com/rube-waddell-baseballs-peter-pan-3dc1a0bacf9c https://theinternetsaysitstrue.com/2024/06/17/rube-waddell-strange-pitcher/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dev Warnocky and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Hello. Hello. So good to be here. Keeping the pleasantries brief this week, I see. Good to see you. And you. Well, great to have you here, I guess. Some people early on said one of the strengths of Do Go On is our obvious friendship.

And to them I say, how dare you? We are cordial and that is it. We are fantastic actors. That's right. We are Australia's best actors. Step aside, Hugo Weaving. Step aside, Miranda Otto. I'm thinking of Lord of the Rings.

Nice. Step aside. David Wenham. Oh, my God, there's quite a few in that. There's got some. Kate Blanchette. Cape Blanchette. With Tyler.

We'll take her. Are we claiming Liverpool to Ireland now? That's pretty good. Oliver Bloom? He's basically one of us. Oliver Bloom? All of a bloom. We'll take all of him.

We'll take all of Orlando Bloom. Orlando. Well, he was married to Miranda Kerr, who is Australian. Oh, Miranda. He's basically one of ours. My best connection was he's now married to Katie Perry and she performed at the AFL grand final. He was also married to an Australian person. We're connected to this guy all over the place.

Yeah, we'll take Katie Perry. I love this guy. Wow, what an absolute treat to be here. We'll take Katie Perry and we'll put her in a bin. Oh, sassy. Dude, what the fuck? I'm sorry about that. This is a pro Katie Perry podcast.

I'm sorry. Do we? We do, do we? Okay, sorry. I thought that would be a funny thing to say, but it wasn't. It was particularly funny on a big delay. I apologize. I think factoring in the delay plus your brain,

it was about six months after we'd stop talking about Katie Perry. As a world, it's more than six months, mate. She'll be back. She'll be back. There's no greater sign of someone climbing up the zeitgeist than doing the AFL grand final. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a peak.

You know that they're choosing between the Super Bowl and the AFL grand final. going to have to go AFL. The G just holds more. The G probably, the AFL grandfinal probably pays. Yeah, that's right. You don't get paid, do you? No, you don't.

That's true. Yeah, you do get paid by the AFL. Pretty well, I think. So I think actually she's just a savvy businesswoman. She's a boss bitch. If I could put it in terms that I understand. She's a girl boss, that's for sure. That is for sure.

Girl boss is what I meant. Yeah, boss bitch. also works but feels weird from you. What I was trying to do was segue into explaining the show. Do you want me to do that? Because you're going to do the report. Oh yeah. I thought you were doing the report. My laptop is open in front of me.

Yes, you please explain. What we do here is we take it in terms of the report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research, bring it back to the group in the form of a high school style report. The other two people listen cordially. This could be primary school. This one.

I wrote this. with a migraine. On the weekend, I... So it's hard to say what's in this and if it's English. Oh. Oh, wow. We'll see. It's a primary school report on the culture of Japan.

That's right. studying Japanese currently. Yeah, do you have migrants and Japanese? Not Japanese. Italiano. Thank you very much. Oh, mama me. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Now, it is Jessus turned to report, and she's going to start by asking us a question to get us on to topic. Now, a little peek behind the curtain here. Just did say off mic, which is very proud of this question. Could be her best ever. Yeah. You'll probably hate it.

I don't like, but I enjoy it. Here we go. It's a two-parter. Part one. What is the name of a cube toy, the aim of which is to end up with all the same color? I hear Rubik's from Matt. Rubik's Cube? Rubics is what I needed, but correct.

Part two. Technically the toy is called the Rubik's Cube. Sure. Rubik's Cube. It is correct. This is what I mean. I'm enjoying this. Sorry,

this is fun. Sorry, I forget this is fun. Hey, Dave, I'm on delay. How am I jumping in early than you? I think we should let the audience know that I'm in Adelaide and that's how much quicker than Dave I was just then.

We're half a half an hour behind here. I let you jump in and sort of fuck yourself up, which you did by not saying Q. Then I come in, I'd take the glory. I knew, I knew she was looking for Rubik's, okay? Just because I'm ahead of the game. Doesn't mean I'm behind the game. Okay, for this attitude, I think Bob, who keeps track of all this, Dave got the correct answer.

Thanks, Robes Cube. That was part one, part two, a duck doesn't walk it. Waddles. Okay, very good. Two points there for Dave. Ruby's Cube bottles. And today's report is about baseball star, Rube Waddell. See what you've done there.

Okay. Bit of fun. Rubik's Cube Waddles. That's his full. name. That's right, as we'll get to. This is a topic that's been suggested by a lot of people, including Moritz from Germany, Sam Sutherland from Montreal, Sam Long from Seymour, Wisconsin, Dan Copeland from Indianapolis, Alan Cameron from Memphis, Robert Gibbons from Dublin, Benjamin Whittingham from Liverpool, Cammy Jamison from Houston, Jacob Thompson from

Perth, and Rubio Day from Richmond, Victoria. So lots of people suggested this topic. have you heard of Rube Waddell? Yes, I've done him on that sleep podcast. Ah, do you remember any of it? No. Because recently we did a report and you had done the entire story and had no recollection of it.

I have no recollection of this guy at all. It's so funny because I saw a post about him the other day. Someone's saying, this is such a wild story. And I'm like, I've recognized this name. And then, yeah, I searched through my hatch folder. and I'm like, oh, I did this story. I don't remember a thing about it. I'm like, how wild could this story be?

Not memorable at all, I'd say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I mean, your voice is so powerful in that podcast. You put yourself to sleep and then you just sleptwalk through your whole report. Honestly, it's incredible. I'm actually not sure Matt's woken up from that podcast. You still asleep, buddy?

What? Huh? What? Chaze the channel. much. I think this is also one of those ones that, because it's been suggested a few times, I've seen it in the hat, but I just know it's a crazy baseballer is kind of the, the feeling I've got from the pitch maybe.

Yeah. Yeah. Pitch. Oh my God. Oh, my God. I thought you were doing that on purpose. He is a pitcher. Oh, no, I didn't do that.

And Dave is the pun master. As proven, once again. He can't be stopped. That's right, but a master works for a king. Is that true? Behind every master is an even greater king. I don't know if that's anything. So I'm excited because it sounds like it's going to be a bit of fun.

It is a fun one. And like there's a lot of, there's quite a few resources on him. And if you're a big sort of baseball nut, A, you probably already know this name or know his story. But like, there's a lot of juicy stuff you could go and really explore. I don't know heaps about baseball. So I haven't exactly gone a game for game. breakdown of a bunch of terms I don't understand.

This is more like, here's his early life and how he started in baseball and here's some crazy antics. I want to know what was happening when there were four down in the second. I don't understand any of it. What does that mean? I think if there's three down, you're out. So four down. It's gone really badly.

I think the down's actually, you might be talking about American football. So just, we're a sports podcast. When they get a touchdown in baseball, how many points are you go? Okay, so George Edward Waddell, mostly growing up, referred to as Eddie, was born on October 13, 1876, one source noting that it was Friday the 13. Oh, dear. Is he going to be spooky? Yeah, he's pretty spooky. Spooky talented.

He's born just outside the small farming town of Bradford, Pennsylvania. His parents were John Waddell and Mary Ford Wadale, who had four other children. other sources say five other children. So four or five siblings. So that his mum's name had Ford in it and the town had Ford in it, which were they like a big, big in the town or something? Bradford, Pennsylvania and Mary Ford, I reckon, her dad, no, I'm with you. Okay, great.

Her dad, Ford, yeah. Founded the town with his mate Brad. Yes. Oh, great. I'm with you there. I call it Ford Brad. That sounds silly. What about Bradford?

I don't like your name going first, but it does sound better. It does sound better. Yeah. What are we naming our town? Jess, Dave. Yes, Dave. You can't call it Dave. Jess.

It's crazy. What about Matt? Matt. Matt's not in the town? Oh, the Matt's silent. Yeah. Silent Matt. The Matt is in brackets.

You wish the Matt was silent. God. Most days, yeah. His father John worked for the oil industry in Bradford. and moving to find better work led the Waddell family to prospect Pennsylvania where they lived most of their lives

I mean it sounds like a good place to move if you're trying to strike it prospect So he wanted to get a better job He was working in the oil industry mate that's about to boom Stick it out I think he was still in the oil industry

Well he listened to my advice And good on him Good on you That's how he supported his family Biographer Alan Levy wrote that Waddell was a decidedly different sort of child. At the age of three, he wandered over to a local fire station and stayed there for several days.

Sorry, what? Okay. No one called his parents. When questioned by Mr. Waddell, the Bradford fireman shrugged, well, Mr. Waddell, he just wanded in a few days ago and seemed to like it here. He's a three-year-old. Can't argue that. Like, surely they'd be a bit worried.

So he's three years old. He's three years old. He's wandered off. The parents are probably a bit distressed. and the firefighter's like, but he's happy, he's right? Are they serving him food? Yeah, I'm sure. He's just curled up under a table or something.

He loves it. He's not a fucking stray cat. It's a toddler. What are you doing? People would be worried. Are they like, they're squirting the hose into his mouth at huge pressure? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. My dog's favorite summer activity.

I'm sure three-year-olds like it too. Honestly, yeah. I mean, Goose is four, but I'm sure he enjoyed it at three. Yeah, boy, he's a human three. I think dogs four as a human three, is that about right? Intelligence-wise. Intelligence-wise, yeah. So as a child, he did okay in school despite hardly ever attending.

He was at the fire station. His sister was quoted as saying, you're not wrong. His sister was quoted as saying he often missed school, but I could always find him playing ball, fishing or following a fire engine. He is a dog. It's on foot. Yeah, fire trucks were one of Waddell's obsessions, and he would hear sirens and run. run after the trucks all the way to the fire to help put it out. That isn't that a dog thing?

Don't dogs chase after the, after fire engines? I think cartoon dogs do, yeah. Cartoon dogs. Well, they're the ones I'm most familiar with. Yeah. Yeah. So is, is the big reveal that he is actually a dog? Oh, my God, he's a little dog.

Well, there's nothing in the rule book that says. I was really hoping for it to be a fun twist and like a, oh, and did I forget to mention? He's actually a border collar. Imagine I'd done a whole recording about it And I forgot that twist He's actually a dog And it sounds like these firefighters Are the kind of people that would let him put out the fire

I don't care he's something six years old Yeah, that's fine He seemed happy to be going into the burning building And pulling out the other survivors He was doing a good job I didn't give him a mask to wear anything But he's all right He's fine

We didn't have one that fit him He's too small He's too tiny, he's a child We don't have child firefighters, that's crazy It would be crazy. That'd be dangerous. Anyway. He might suffocate in the mask.

We can't have that. I can't be liable for that. So this longstanding fascination with fire trucks would be a recurring theme throughout his adult life. So keep that in the back of your brain somewhere. He didn't have much baseball training throughout his life, but he had a very strong muscular body from farming, mining and drilling and helping out in the family farm.

And running after fire. And running after fire. He had great cardio. Incredible car. All this physical work led to him developing a huge physique. Levy writes that by the time he was 13, he could plough with two mules, a measurement we are all supposed to understand. Oh, he could plough with two mules.

Bloody hell. Don't the mules do the work for you? Maybe you're supposed to have more mules, and he only had needed two. Is he like one of those strong men that sort of straps two mules to his back and plow with them on his back? Yeah, I think if you're trying to like talk up how someone is physically very fit and very strong. Just say that. Just say he was really strong. Even by the age of 13,

he had the strength of two men, not like he could plow with two mules. What the fuck does that mean? I'm a city girl. No, I like that. I think the, yeah. I think that, tell it to me in terms I can understand, mule terms. Ideally. I'm picturing it like, you know, you normally

you're like the mules going along, right? And it's dragging the plow behind it. I'm picturing he's able to control two of those at once. You know, like a guy. driving two cars somehow. Doing the splits in between them. I'm picturing it.

Yeah. That's how I'm picturing it. And I guess that would be, you know, take mental strength as much as anything. Yeah. Yeah. So that doesn't explain his physical strength. I mean, you've got horse power. Famous, we know that. Yes.

Mule power. He's got two mule power. He's got two MPH. So I'm glad we're all on board. Two mules per hour. That this 13 year old is freakishly strong, two mules per hour. What's he doing on those two mules in an hour, though? Whatever he wants.

They've got no say he is so strong. That is strong. Now I understand how strong he is. Yeah, stubborn as a mule. Not when this guy's around. That's how strong he is. I think we've gotten lost. I think we've gotten lost to this.

You can take a mule to water but you can't make a drink. Well, root can. He can make him get in. He can make him go for a bloody dip. We don't like to. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Get in there.

You stink. Okay, Rube Strowing bars of soap at him Oh, so he's a strong boy Very strong and more importantly It was during his farming That he truly honed his throwing ability Throwing bars of soap

During spring ploughing Crows would pick at the seeds planted by farmers And young Waddell took to Doing his farming With rocks in his pockets To pelt at the birds You just have a piff

Yeah, he'd have a piff Say get out of it Get out of it That's the Australian version I don't know what they would have said in their early 19 or late 1800s in the US, but in Australia it would be get out of it. Ooi. Ooi, hey, ooi.

Yeah, of it. No. Cut it out. No, no. No, cut it out. Get out of it. No. Beautiful language, beautiful culture.

It's beautiful. So he grew quite adept at throwing stones and shooting guns at the crows. He was an oddity in that he could throw. well with either hand. He shot a gun right-handed but threw with his left-hand. And later in in baseball, he would pitch left-handed and bat right-handed. Ah, with a gun? With a gun. He would bat. Yeah, they tried to hand a baseball bat. He said, I'm good. I'm okay. So when the Waddell family moved to Prospect, they had easy access to Butler. It was the largest city in the area. They were a bit closer to the big city. Wadell's early days saw him struggle socially. Other kids didn't want to

play ball with him as he threw so hard it stung their hand. Oh, wow. He's very strong. he throws very fast. And he also throws bees. And I didn't like that. I'm allergic to bees. And I just, I am burning through epipens with this guy. He keeps us yelling, go long. Throws a bee.

He calls it the stinger. He throws a bee 40 feet. It's insane. It would be really hard to piff him. Yes. Yeah, yeah. If they weren't on board, you were. Like if you're working with them

They could do a lot of the work Just flapping along But if you were like But that's again He can convince a mule He can convince a bee Yeah He's one with the creatures

Yeah next time you see a bee flying I threw that That was because of me I did that It's going where I told it too Bees kind of need like a They need help They can't just take off by themselves

They need They need a launch But once they're going Oh they're fine Yeah, but they can't, they can't launch. They're like a kid learning to ride a bike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we are bee training wheels.

Yeah, most bees, they have, you know, rube's running after them going, no, I've still got you. I've still got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing it. You're doing it. That's all you. That's all you.

Keep going. That's all you. That's all you. I distinctly remember taking the training wheels off my bike and riding straight into a hedge. Where was dad? Well, my parents got me a secondhand bike that was too big for me to get on and off. But they were like, he'll grow into it. So to get off the bike for like the first year of having the BMX,

I had to find a bush or something, pull up next to it and then just fall into it. That's how I got off. That's how I got off. I can't say. It felt awesome. And how did you dismount to the bike? No seat on that bike. It felt so good.

Anyway, so the other kids don't want to play with him Because he's throwing bees at them And the bees are stinging him. Nevertheless, his raw skill landed him a spot on the butler team. So he's playing baseball now. Often he would be absent from games without notice. Once a friend pulled up near first base in a buggy And held out a fishing line asking if Waddell wanted to join.

Waddell happily obliged and walked off the mound leaving midgame. He's quite cute, this guy. He's kind of like, I'm almost imagining like a friendly ogre type, just kind of like. Friendly ogre. And he's so easily distract him and he's like, oh, he's very tall. Oh, yeah. Shiny thing. Oh, yeah.

That, yep, you're not wrong. Oafish sort of. Oafish, yes. Harmless oaf. Yes. Isn't it there's, didn't you tell a story of one? Like, is mice and men, Dave, one of your book sheet episodes. Is that?

have like a, the big guy and that was like a big friendly guy, right? Oh yes, Lenny. Lenny. It's got a Lenny Bob. Yeah, it doesn't know his own strength. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's very well meaning. Yes.

I would say that that feels, in reading about this guy, it feels that sort of vibe. But also, it's interesting because obviously a lot of the writing about him, there was a lot of writing at the time, but more people reflecting on it now, people just kind of think quite fondly of him because he's this sort of like... Not hapless, but he's just sort of like, he gets up to all sorts of things while being a professional baseball player. And people are kind of like, oh, I just love this guy. Like, he's very good at baseball, but he's also just like, he just gets into some crazy stuff. And I talk about this later, but maybe it's worth mentioning early that through like modern writers and through a modern lens, people kind of go, okay, he probably, it seems like some sort of intellectual disability or autism or. or ADHD or a combination of the three, but none of that kind of existed or was diagnosed or anything back then.

So through a modern lens, you kind of go, I can see where he's sort of being pulled into different things and he's like, he is easily distracted and off he goes and does something. But it certainly seems like, people call him like a, they liken him to Forrest Gump a little bit. You know, of just kind of like he's doing a lot of things. He's quite good at things. He's pretty well-meaning and he just wants to help people.

and he gets up to all sorts of antics. Love it. It's that sort of character. It runs from one adventure to another. Yeah, totally. And it's a bit of fun. Oh, great. So, yeah, he left to go fishing.

That happened, I think, on multiple occasions. Again, we don't know much about baseball, but I do think first base, that seems like a particularly, that's an important position. I've heard of that one. Okay. Hmm.

And he's just gone, see ya. Ah, and off he wanders. And they're like, no, come back. He's off. Eddie? Rob. Eddie? Eddie.

Eddie. So in 1896, this is a great sentence. A travelling salesman noticed Waddell's talent and signed him up to join the local iron and oil league. And I was like, what's a travelling salesman got to do with it? But back in the day, because travelling salesmen were already on the road so much. And this is like, we're talking minor leagues or like just like community team type things. It was just sort of like, if you spot any good talent, let us know. Right.

If you're near a baseball field, see anyone good. Yeah, yeah. Sign them up. Sign them up. Let us know. Because they're already on the road. So rather than sending out scouts, you're just using people who are already traveling anyway. It feels like... It feels like... This makes no sense. You'd assume that doesn't really happen anymore in sport. You don't think like they're pretty well organized. But you still hear about it with like models and actors.

I was discovered... And it's in America, so I never know what the things mean. But yeah, I was discovered in a J.C. Pennies. Yes. They're always at a mall. Yeah. I was just having lunch and, yeah, got a business card. And it's always like a teenager, often teenage girls, and it's a middle-aged person coming up to them and going,

it's such a bizarre thing to be acceptable. Wouldn't you, if you're there with your parents, your parents are like, oh, boy, mate, what the hell are you think you doing? A middle-aged person coming over to my teenager and being like, you are so weird. It's so weird. So pretty. Look how long and thin you are.

I'd like to take pictures of you. So pretty. I can imagine you walking up and back and looking fantastic. Do you like to put on nice clothes? What are you talking about? Leave my child alone. What, do you like to come with me? You could be a star.

That's so weird. But then you're right. You do hear about actual superstar people I discover that way. So, you know, obviously it has worked out for some. That's why I go to shopping centres so much. Yeah, you're always there. Just cruising up and now. Just waiting.

in my Sunday best And you're And you strut as well Don't you Oh of course Or sometimes Because you hear it for actors Not just model

So sometimes I just do a little scene You know Monologue of the food court Just to show my range Yeah You're getting your reputation Is a real Karen But they're all

Pieces that you're doing To the manager Yes It's a character This is a character To the manager May I speak to the manager And scene

Yeah You're always doing that Yeah Yeah, yeah. So any day now. Any day now. Just waiting for a travelling salesman to spot me. Does George Lucas is hanging out in food court slot if I believe a photo I've seen a bunch of times. Was he having a soup or something? Have you seen a son?

Have you seen a cop? Well, you've got to get to that food court, bopper. I've got to find that fucking food court. Yeah, that's how he cast Jar Jha Binks, wasn't this? or Chahua walking through. And thought, Oh, my God. That's interesting.

I think Jada binks, he saw him ordering miso soup. And he said, I've got an idea. That might be one of the worst things you've ever done. Matt, you're recording this from like an Airbnb or something, I assume. Is there? Like, do you have a housemate?

Is anybody else there? Which is he? They can't. He would have hoarded. I missed off. Maggie Luke is in the next room and the walls are thin. So, yeah, she'll probably be a little worried about me right now. I can't wait to message Maggie after this.

It's very funny. I'd be like, hey, anything you had, anything stand down in what you had? Is that even, like, how he talked? Yeah, no, it was very good. Okay, but very bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, the worst thing I've ever heard. Also, horrific.

That's, well, 100%. put that on TikTok. Harder percent. No question. Yeah, just hanging me out of dry. I get you. It's so funny and so bad. And that's where Dugoz sits.

Yeah. In the Venn diagram. That's where we are. That's the Venn diagram. Anyways, he's spotted by a traveling salesman. And he's brought into play for the local team, I think in, yeah, in Franklin, 50 miles north of Butler. players received a few dollars a game

so Waddell was interested He's like, okay It was here in Franklin That Waddell earned the nickname Rube As his teammates teased him for his lack of intelligence Right? A Rube is like a fool or like a, yeah That's mean It is a bit mean

But the nickname would stick for the rest of his life And it seems like it was embraced by Wadale He's referred to in a lot of articles and stuff As the Rube The Rube But I call him Wadale through most of this The team in Franklin folded soon after, but word had spread about Waddell's talent. Volant College, a local school in Pennsylvania, made Waddell an offer to come and pitch for them.

They offered him free tuition, which wasn't much used to a man with very little interest in further education. But they also said they'd pay him $1 per game, he'd have free room and board and free tobacco. So he was like, ah, hell yeah. That seems cool. You said he didn't have any interest in learning, but you said earlier that he was naturally very, good at school? Was that right? He was all right in like elementary school. I think he did pretty well, but he didn't attend very much. Right, gotcha. But then other sources have said he didn't really have much formal education at all. So, um, some people, I think at the time, thought he was

illiterate people since have been like, no, no, he could definitely read. He just, I don't think he was interested in going to college. Right. There were too many adventures he could go on instead. Yeah, especially when you got unlimited tobacco. Yeah. Imagine that now. That would be worth an absolute fortune these. Oh my God. Yeah, I'd be selling everything I get. Oh, yeah, yeah.

While playing for the college, he dominated the field. He averaged 15 strikeouts per game. Per game. 15 per game. And these are slightly shorter games too. They played seven innings instead of nine. And he's striking out 15 players a game. That's an average.

It's funny because I think that's impressive. It's got to be, right? Yeah, it is. I checked, it is impressive. Yeah, I'm like, that feels crazy. Is it? They seem to have a lot of batters, but yeah, every innings is only three. So that's like he wipes out five full innings himself.

Oh, yeah, five of seven. Yeah. Yeah, wow. And that's an average. Yeah. Sometimes it could have been more. So maybe that's why there were four down in the second. He's just got to run out.

I'm still thinking, Bob, that unlimited tobacco, he could just, he could open a stall selling it. And they just have to keep restocking for him. And it's just pure profit. Fuck, that's good. And then, like, when they bring it over, he could just say, yep, just put it on the shelf over there. Stack it up nicely for me. Beautiful. Thank you.

That's good stuff. I wonder if he did that. He should have taken some business classes with his free tuition. And then he'd be absolutely rolling in it. Rolling in it. Good one. Pun King right there. Thank you.

Thank you. Pun Queen. On more than one occasion, Waddell instructed his teammates to leave the field while he pitched to the next batter because he wasn't going to need their help. Oh, wow. And then he'd strike out the batter.

It was diabolical and pretty badass. That is. Guys, take five. Yeah, I got this, guys. I don't need anyone to catch this. But then it's also widely reported. that after he'd end innings with strikeouts, he would cartwheel or somersault to cross the pitch to the dugout.

Holy shit. So less badass, more kind of cute and holster. Wee! Yeah, he's just having fun playing ball and then he's like, la la la la, la, la. Off he goes. The crowds must have loved that.

Yes. That's razzle dazzle. Yeah, he's got the razzle dazzle dazzle. But your opponents would be so pissed though. He's just struck you out and then he's now cartwheeling. Yeah. Like you're taking this game so seriously and he's just. just having fun.

Yeah. Must be like, shut the fuck. He's so fucking good and he's having, he's just playing. He's just having fun. He's chasing a fucking butterfly at the moment. What's going on?

Now he's piffing it. He's piffing that butterfly. Whoa. That butterfly's on Mars now. What's crazy? So Major League scouts caught wind of this eccentric and impressive pitcher out of Pennsylvania and it wasn't long before he was signed to the Louisville colonels in 1897.

I did read in one source that two days into his time with Louisville, he got a $50 fine for going out and getting hammered, and he didn't like the fine or the fact that he wasn't allowed to get drunk whenever he wanted, so he quit the team. Yeah. He's a fun energy. Waddell's career spanned 13 years across five teams. This is the major league teams.

Here they are in both chronological order and also ranked best to worst name. Oh, wow, okay. Here we go. So it gets worse. It gets worse. Okay. The Louisville Colonels, the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Chicago Orphans

It's going to get worse than that The Philadelphia Athletics And the St. Louis Browns Yeah, you're right I mean, orphans is fantastic But yeah, Browns Chicago Orphans Why are you calling your team the orphans?

That's weird. Yeah. And then what's your mascot? Yeah, do you go to an orphanage or something? Yeah, do you go to an orphanage and just like take the kids out for a day and they're your little mascots. And when they're all like, are we going to your home? No, no, no, God, no.

Back to the orphanage, yuck. Put on the suit and shut up. And when they're sign a new player, they're like, great, your parents are still alive? Well, okay. About that. Yeah. We have some rules. It must be a team of orphans.

Say goodbye. Our billionaire owner is sick. But he pays really well. He pays really well. And we're a pretty good team. Mostly because of grief. Throughout his career, especially in the early years, he ping ponged between the major and minor leagues,

sometimes because the major league season was over, sometimes because he was in trouble with the major league team he was signed to, sometimes for shits and giggles. He was just kind of doing his own thing. Alan Levy writes, Rube was an absolute terror to hitters. He was a very large man, about six foot two, and he usually weighed around 225 pounds or 102 kilos.

He could throw with the velocity of any man who had, ever played the game. He had unusually large hands, even for his size. His shoe size was 13. As for his hands, John McGraw noted that Waddell could encircle a baseball with his fingers as the ordinary man could a billiard ball. Wadell could nearly touch his middle finger and thumb around the ball, around the ball diameter. Middle finger and thumb. That's crazy. That's hard. I've got about the size of a billiard ball going on. Yeah, I'm not even that. Maybe ping pong. That's a trick just to make you do that That secret racist symbol, isn't it?

Oh, I thought it was one where you get punched. Oh, yeah. Wow, both, I mean, it should be. Yeah, it works for both. Secret racist symbol. That deserves a punch as well. Anyway, so he's got, he's very tall, he's very strong, he's got huge hands. What a dream boat.

Not his value, but the hands, my goodness. What's sexy about big hands, Dave? Oh my gosh. Think what you can do with them. I pick up a can, encircle the can, put the can back down. That's hot. Oh, my God. That is hot.

Like, the cool thing about big hands in the bedroom is it makes everything seem small. That's why you want me in there. Oh, my God. Everything looks huge. I don't want to look huge. Everything looks huge. I don't want to look huge. Oh, look at the size of this.

No, I don't know. Wow. That's why you two never made sense. But yet we make it work. Despite, we love despite. That's the thing. That's right. So his career peaked, his baseball career peaked,

sort of between the years of 1901 and 1908, mostly under the management of Hall of Fame baseball manager, Connie Mack, who was the first to win the World Series three times. Connie Mac is a contender for all-time great names. I mean, Connie Mac is good, but his real name is Cornelius McGillicuddy. Oh my God. That sounds like a made-up old-timey name. McGillacutty.

It sounds like a Harry Potter character. He could have given me a hundred ways that name dismounts, and I would never have used that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I know... Cornelius McGillacutty. The Wikipedia kind of breaks it down. They're like, okay, so his parents were Irish immigrants, and at that time, especially any name that started with muck was they were all called mac right so a lot of irish

immigrants had the nickname mac and connie is actually quite a common shortening of cornelius so he was called connie mac his whole life but his name's cornelius mcgillicuddy incredible so good both versions of it are fantastic and really good totally different ways um mac is a very interesting character he holds records for the most wins uh 3,731 losses 3,948 Ties 76 and games managed 7,755 in Major League Baseball history. Still, he holds those titles. His victory, so his wins, is 847 more than the second highest, which is Tony La Rousseau with 2884. Though, to be fair, I don't know much about baseball, as I said, but I think they do play about 6,000 games a year.

That's wild, isn't it? It's insane. And this is back in the 1900s as well. Wow, so the record, you know, may never be broken. Mack managed the Philadelphia Athletics for its first 50 seasons of play starting in 1901. Did you say 50? Correct. He was a manager for 50 years.

Yes. He was at least part owner from 1901 to 1954 and retired after the 1950 season at aged 87. Okay, I will wage that. Probably will never be broken. That's crazy. Isn't that insane? He was just part of this team for 50 years. That's, that is.

is ridiculous. I've just found out why they were called the orphans, if you're interested. It's kind of fun. So they work. Can it be fun? They were known as the cults for a while. But Anson... Then they killed all the cult's parents.

The team's manager in first baseman was named Cap Anson, who was nicknamed Pop. And he was fired from the team. Like, he was like the team's dad pop. So once he, he was fired, they started being called the orphans. And that became official for a while. Wow. Wait, it wasn't interesting. I'm sorry.

I was wrong. I was wrong. It is interesting to think that they're like, we love that guy so much. We fired him. Yeah, we're going to change our name based on the lack of him. Yeah. He's no longer here because we fired him. It's not dead.

But we love him. There you guys here. So yeah, Mac was a legendary manager. In reading a bit about him, I think he has a little bit of a Ted Lasso about him. He seemed to have a real knack for knowing how to get the best out of his players, especially Waddell. Waddell kind of stayed with him the longest. Other managers just couldn't handle him. Mac seemed to sort of figure it out.

He wanted his players to strive to be better, not just better players, but also better people. He had this code of conduct that focused on sportsmanship. teamwork, humility and fairness. And the last one on the list is, I will always judge a teammate or an opponent as an individual and never on the basis of race or religion, which is impressive to me given this was the early 1900s. Yeah, wow.

That's kind of nice. So yeah, Mack seems like a very, he's a really interesting character. He judged him on height and width. That's right. And so he was like, this Waddell guy, he might be number one. He is high and width.

He's a girthy lad. He's a girthy boy. So anyway, it's 1901. Mack becomes manager of the new Philadelphia Athletics. Prior to managing Philadelphia, Connie Mack had managed the Milwaukee Brewers where he signed Roob for a brief stint. It was here that Mac learned how to get the best out of Roob. Basically, lean into his outside interests.

So Widdell pitched the first game of a doubleheader for Milwaukee. And they won. And Mack offered Waddell a three-day fishing vacation if he agreed to pitch the second game. So he did. He pitched and he threw a complete game shutout for the victory. A shutout is when a single pitcher pitches a complete game and does not allow the opposing team to score or run. Wow. And then he headed to Pure Key Lake to go fishing.

That's so nice. This is how they should do it. It's like dangling keys in front of him. I'm like, hey, hey, hey, what's this? You want this? Hey, you pitch a good game. You go fishing. He's like, okay.

Yeah, it would be keys though. It'd be a lure. You like that actually be. A little worm on a hook. That's a good system. They should do it. All work should be done like that. Hey, do a work today, three day trip.

I like that. That'd be nice. That'd be nice. We should start doing that. Yeah. Yeah, do a good report and, you know, you get to go wherever you want. Skiing. Home?

Could be fun? Could I go home? Oh, yeah. Ooh. I think that's our current system. Yeah, and it's a perfect system. It is a good system, yeah. What's this?

491 great reports in a row. And we have little holidays every week. We are bankrupt. So, yeah, that's how they worked together at the Brewers. They were reunited a year later in 1902 when Connie Mack, now in Philadelphia, was desperate for a pitcher. And when he learned that Waddell was pitching in California, he dispatched two Pinkerton agents to sneak Waddell

back into Philadelphia where he led the Philadelphia Athletics to the 1902 American League crown. Now, I don't know why it required Pinkerton agents to go get him, why he couldn't just say, like write him a letter and say, come to Philadelphia.

I couldn't find much information on why that was the case, why he had to sneak out of California, but I thought it was so funny that he got two detectives to go get him. He doesn't need an escort. I just think that's kind of funny. And previous topic as well. That was your previous topic as well,

wasn't it, Papa? Yeah. Much later Mac described Waddell as the atom bomb of baseball long before the atom bomb was discovered. So what did that mean to him? Not sure. This is later he described this. So the atom bomb did exist by then. This won't mean anything to you, but I think he's more like an atom bomb.

What are you talking about? It'll make sense. That's a time traveler. That was right in sync to me, Dave. It probably sounded like three weeks later to you. Yeah, that's right. you are a time traveller and you're very behind. I've time travelled backwards slightly.

Half an hour. And so began the Rube's most successful era. From Wikipedia in his prime, Waddell was the game's premier power pitcher with 302 strikeouts in 1903, 115 more than runner-up Bill Donovan. Whoa! So he's like, he's very good.

Geez, Bill Donovan's lucky to get a mention even. Can we edit that out actually? AJ, edited out that guy's name. Yeah, can we? I've just deleted him from my brain. That's wasted space. Let's not bring the podcast down. We're losers.

Waddell followed that season with 349 strikeouts in 1904, 110 more than runner-up, Jack Chesbrough. Oh, delete. No other picture compiled consecutive 300 strike seasons until Sandy Kofax in 1965 and 66. All right, that's the name worth remendering. Remendering.

That's a name worth memorandering. Honestly, I'm going to remender that name forever. Yeah, yeah. Sandy Kofax. I have heard of Sandy Kofax. I always assumed that was like the name of a TV detective or something. It does sound more like a detective than a baseball pitcher. Yeah.

And Kofax is K-O-U-F-A-X. I did not realize that. Me either. His 1905 season with the athletics was his best season in which he had 26 wins. 287 strikeouts. And this was his only season where he would have had the chance to play in the World Series.

But unfortunately, he injured his shoulder while roughhousing with a teammate and had to sit out the rest of the season. Apparently, because they're on the road a lot. They were like, they'd caught the train,

they were waiting at a train station for a new train. They were roughhousing over this straw hat. Rough housing over his straw hat. Hey, give it me. No, it's mine. Just the phrase rough housing is so funny. It's very funny.

But... I'll wrestle you for it. This injury later led to speculation over many years since that Waddell was actually bribed or paid off to fake the injury and thus not play in the series. That would make more sense. Well, that swelled for quite some time. But Connie Mack refused to believe this theory. He said, that's ridiculous.

From John Thorn's Our Game blog, more than 100 years later, Waddell's mark is still the best by any American League left-hander. In 1955 at age 93, Connie Mack called Rube the greatest pitcher in terms of pure talent he had ever seen. And Connie had seen them all. Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah. And it sounds like the result would have been different if he played, right?

He was a freak. If he plays, they win sort of thing. Yeah, I reckon, yeah. Like, he's, yeah, he does seem like a real freak of nature with his talent. And just the power and speed of his pitches, it's like, it's so hard to return them. And I think it's just nice because he gets up to so many antics which I'm about to talk about. But it's nice that it wasn't like he was a hopeless player or anything or he was just average.

He was freakishly good at baseball and he did some of this wild shit I'm about to mention. Yeah, that's awesome. Because just the name by itself you think, oh, he's probably hopeless at all aspects. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like he can hit a curveball really well but nothing else. So you know what I mean? but he's just, yeah, he is actually a very good player. The pitchers, why do they keep throwing curveballs at him?

We know that's all he can hit. Just lob it up. Just, yeah, do anything else. So it's undeniable that he was a very impressive baseball player, but he's also famous for many of his off-field antics. So in 1903, that was a big year for him. He managed to cram a lot in, including an appearance in a touring melodrama.

What? spotted in a shopping centre? The show was called the stain of guilt. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't want to look at that stain. We've all been there. No matter what colour it is, it's awful.

Well, yeah, you use a black light to find it. That was a big part of the... One source said it was critically acclaimed. Others say that the audience loved it, but critics fucking hated it. But regardless, it was well attended. Yeah. His performance was very notable in that his co-stars realized he was incapable of memorizing his lines. And so they just let him improvise his lines for every show.

Every show is different. Fantastic. Again, he could read, but like he just couldn't remember the lines. So they're like, just make it up. Say whatever you want. Say whatever you want. But then they stick to the scripts and it just doesn't make any sense. Yeah.

And they just have it. That would then essentially mean they have to improv as well. Yeah. But if you don't improv, it's even better. Yeah. Hi, how are you today? I'm a sea hawk. Oh, good to hear. I'm well, thank you.

Uh-huh. Your mother did what? A huge discussion point amongst punters was the scene in which Waddell's character lifted the actor playing the villain and threw him across the stage with ease. The audience, fuck him up. Give him the chair!

I'm imagining like overhead, just like fully picking up another fully grown man and throwing him. The villain was a caterpillar. I assume this was a written scene or maybe it was just one of his classic improvs. I hope it was written and the actor knew was about to be thrown. Otherwise, that would be terrifying. Just go with it.

Just go with it. Now, we're about to talk about it on our Patreon-only podcast, phrasing the bar, because it's back for one special episode because the phrase was in one movie last year. Yeah. And Peter Dinklage is also in the movie and he just gets absolutely thrown across the room into a bath and it just shatters the tiles. That's exactly what I'm imagining him doing to an actor. Yeah.

Thrown by Fraser's character as well. Yeah, that's right. Maybe phrase could play the Rube. Oh my God. Oh, I mean, Frazier's a tall man. He's a, he's a strong man. I reckon he could. Yeah.

Get him in there. I don't know if the Rube had quite the same hotness level of the phrase. Yeah. But, you know, I believe in the Fraser's performance. He can, he can like, through his performance, he can make himself uglier. He's performance or prosthetics if it has to be. No, no, no, purely through his performance. I don't know.

I don't know if he can act that good to make himself rub repulsive. I never said rub was repulsive. Oh, okay, great. Just so he's not as hot as like Georgia of the jungle, Brendan Fraser, because who the fuck is? Yeah, that's fair. But I mean, Hollywood, they always, you know, they cast a hottie in every role.

That's true. So I think people would accept it. I'll probably be played by Emma Watson or something. I'm looking at him now. He's a pretty, he's not a bad match for Frays. I reckon Fray's could play him for sure. Obviously, I have to age him down a little bit for the three-year-old scenes. No, I could do it.

They're getting really good with the aging down stuff. And we know that the phrase can play a baseballer with freakish talent because he's already done that in the movie. Yeah, and I definitely remember that movie. movie. Yes. And that was called the scout. The Scout, also starring.

The club famous comedian. Yes. And he was kind of. The Hammock District. Is that based on the Rube? I don't know. Remember he was kind of, he was not a super intelligent dude, but he was like this discovered maybe in, I know, playing in South America or something.

I'm starting to think I didn't watch this movie at all. I can remember one scene of it. Anyway, don't get distracted on a thing We've already talked about many years ago Because I'm sorry Rubish, aren't we? I can see both of you are on your computers Looking up this film

I've got more to talk about this play And more antics he gets up to But no, you let me know when you're ready Sorry, someone just asked if I wanted to go fishing I'm closing the laptop I'm sorry, but I just heard a siren Go fast So during the run of the stain of guilt

Another classic Waddell antic happened So on the night of Tuesday, October 26, Waddell missed that night's performance in Chicago to go see a rivaling show that featured lions. At some point during the show, Wadell became mad at one of the lions and punched it. In retaliation, the lion bit Waddell on his left hand, his pitching hand. Oh no. Luckily, it wasn't too significant and it fully healed. But he went to a play, he went to a show that had lions in it. He got mad at a lion.

He punched a lion, the lion bit him. Jesus. And this is while he should have been on stage at a rival show. Yeah, I'm not sure there was an understudy for his character. He just wasn't there. And the next day they're like, Roob, where were you? I got bit by a lion. And they're like, okay, Roeb, fuck me.

It'd be the same as during a game, him going to watch, you know, he's meant to be playing for the New York Mets. He goes and watches the Yankees play. Yeah, yeah. And gets bitten by a New York cop or something. Same thing. Yeah, same. He wasn't just good at baseball either.

He had a crack at some other sports as well from Wikipedia. It says shortly after the 1902 baseball season, reports indicated Waddell would play for Connie Mack's athletics football team. However, it wasn't quite meant to be. Mac later said there was a little fellow from Wanamakers who asked for a job of quarterback. I don't think he weighed more than 140 pounds. Well, the first practice, Waddell tackled him and broke his leg. It was the first inkling John and I had that players could be badly hurt in football. We got Rube out of there without delay.

He was supposed to be pretty good, but we never found out. He's just too big and strong. I mean, I think that would be really good when playing oppositions. Just not, don't get him to do it to your own players. Exactly. So Waddell returned to his family home in Pennsylvania and played with local football clubs there. He played with various football teams in his later years and also had a brief st. As a goalkeeper in the St. Louis Soccer League.

So he also had a crack at soccer for a bit too. Wow. That's like the. opposite being a goalie of a pitcher. I know, there's a lot going on. He can do it all. I think he just likes to play. And he could probably, he could catch the, his huge hands would be pretty, pretty hand,

and he's tall and he's broad. So it's sort of like, yeah, he can cover a lot of space. Stand there with, you're doing jumping jacks. You wouldn't go get it past him. Easy. There's also just a lot of stories that go around about Rube that don't have much information on them, but they come up in multiple sources and they're often used to sort of bolster this image of a strange and funny character.

Some are kind of cute and silly. Some are genuinely very impressive. Some are a bit baffling. So I've given these the title of one sentence antics, and I have a few of them here. I think this happened mostly in minor leagues, but fans began to notice that Waddell could be easily distracted, so they would bring puppies to the game,

hold them up for him to see, and he'd wander off the field to go play with puppies. He also, as Dave alluded to before, sometimes they would just bring shiny things and they'd get the light, on, get the sunlight on it and he'd be distracted and go off to look at the shiny thing. Actually happened.

Yes. So like crowds are noticing that he's easily distracted so they're bringing stuff to distract him. So there's just hundreds of puppies in the crowd. But how cute is that that they're like, look, I'm a puppy and he's like, ooh, he wants to go play with a puppy. It's very sweet. Yeah.

And also it's a great promotional tool, right? Even even his rich and weird boss who orphans all these players, they must still be like, This is great. This is getting punters in. We can charge the puppies for tickets. You know, like you could make a fortune. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

An extra dollar for a puppy ticket. As we mentioned, he also had a longstanding fascination with fire trucks and ran off the field to chase after them during games on multiple occasions. His interests, like we said before, it seemed to be less about fire trucks themselves and more about wanting to help, which is quite nice. But yeah, he would be mid-game, hear a fire truck and off he'd run. They need me.

While on the road playing baseball, he was sharing a room with teammate Ossey Shrekngost my God that's incredible Ossey Shrekendgost as

you know so they're sharing rooms as was customary Shrek and Goss later refused to share the room until a contract clause was created

which would bar Waddell from eating crackers in bed it's too crummy in here I can't sleep he's eating crackers in my bed

that has been put in his contract you can't eat crackers in bed anymore rude and this this feels like a guy who reads the fine print of a contract too.

Yeah, definitely. He's like, well, if it says it in the contract, why don't they put in the contract, you can't be distracted by shiny things as well. Yeah, and then we're fine. He gained more fame as well for saving the lives of people inside a department store when he picked up a burning oil stove that had overturned and carried it out of the building before it could start a fire. In a department store?

Yep. Again, one sentence antics. Nobody gives any fucking information on that, but just that it was almost a fire, but then there wasn't a fire because of him. I reckon that's probably what he did to be discovered for comstein, the musical or whatever. No, the stain of regret.

Stain of guilt? Stain of guilt. Wow. The first thing I said was clearly not right. Cum stain. No, I don't think the play was called cum stain. The musical. Oh, there's a melodrama coming to town.

Do you want to go see it? Yeah, get tickets to cum stain, would you? I'd shorten it in my mind, and I forgot to retranslate it to the real one before saying it out loud. And that's on me. He would also disappear for months at a time during the off season, and it was not known where he went until it was discovered that he was wrestling alligators in a circus.

What the fuck? Yeah. Again, nobody gives any information about the circus, about when this was, but that's what he was doing. Wrestling alligators is wild enough. Yeah, but down a circus. In a circus is such a funny way to end that sentence. I guess it would be weird if he just did it.

He just went to swamps by himself. Yeah. I guess that's how Steve Irwin made a career, but. Look how that turned out. Oh, that's such a good point. Very successful career. Yeah, really well. Iconic.

Dan O'Brien writes, The Rube also demonstrated his more compassion. side when athletic centre fielder Danny Hoffman was knocked unconscious by a fastball to the temple. Someone went for an ambulance and the players crowded around in aimless bewilderment, wrote Connie Mack. Somebody said that Danny might not live until the doctor got there. Then the man they called the playboy and clown went into action. Pushing everybody to one side, he gently placed Danny over his shoulder and actually ran across the field. Rube flagged down a carriage which carted the pair to the nearest hospital and Rube, still in

uniform, sat at Hoffman's bedside for most of the night and held ice to Hoffman's head. Oh. So he's like, ambulance isn't going to get there in time. I'm big. I'll just carry him. Very nice. He can use his two meal powers. That's, that's, uh, my God, I love this guy.

Yeah, he's quite lovable. This just feels all very memorable. How have I forgotten all of this? I don't remember any of this. Yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. We've already established you were asleep during the sleep podcast. That's probably it, yep.

Speaking of being lovable, he was married at least three times, although made remarks along the lines of losing track of how many wives he had. There were definitely three that we know of. Following the 1899 season, Rube made a brief return to Columbus where he married Florence Dunning. Florence received a divorce from Rubin 1901 on the grounds of gross neglect of duty. I don't know who was neglecting who there, but they divorced. Dan O'Brien again writes,

in June of 1903, he was married for the second time, this time to a Massachusetts girl named May Wynne Skinner, who he had met three days earlier. May win. May win. Wow. She may win. It was the beginning of a very stormy relationship.

The marriage lasted nearly seven years, but the couple only infrequently lived together, and Mrs. Waddell often had her husband jailed for non-support. Oh. How's he going to support you if he's in jail? It's true. It's tricky. I mean, he's got to get out there to wrestle some alligators.

He's got a restless some alligators. The tumultuous marriage to May Winskinner only exacerbated his drinking problem. They divorced in 1908. And in 1910, he married wife number three, 19-year-old Madge McGuire. Not much is written about his marriage to Madge other than it was also pretty tumultuous. And his issues at home plagued him on the field as well. Apparently, he passed out in the middle of a game against New York in 1909. So three marriages that we know of, possibly more.

Yep. but all pretty stormy, a bit tumultuous. By the 1908 season, not quite the dominant force he once was. Rube was still a box off bonanza. As Matt was saying before, like this guy is filling stadiums. He paid for himself in three games after he was bought, wrote St. Louis Post-Dispatched columnist John L. Ray. He'd added many thousands since that time,

paid admissions that would never have arrived at the gate but for the fact that Rube was scheduled to work. When he was playing for the Browns, they enjoyed a 48% boost in home attendance, to more than 618,000. Wow. So people are turning up to see this guy. And if you're getting paid okay?

I think so, yeah, yeah. He's not on a right contract now. Yeah, I think so, yeah. You know, back in the day, it was like free smoke and a dollar a game and he was like, oh, this is the best ever. That's sick. Yeah, that was when he was like playing at a college level. This is like major league baseball.

So I'm sure he's doing okay. A man that you can distract with a shiny object, maybe they are taking advantage of. Yeah, you're right. It'd be rife for exploitation. I could give you 50 grand the game. Gold pieces. Yeah. Yeah.

I could give you 50 grand a game or I could give you this little plastic jewel I've got. Ooh. Oh, what do you think? It's pretty shiny, isn't it? I mean, that's how my husband got me. Shiny jewel. What's that? He offered you a lot of cash.

And you took the jewel. I took the jewel like a fucking idiot. Never take the jewel. So shiny. Oh my God. So he's, he was quite a big drinker throughout his whole life as well. as we kind of alluded to before with like getting getting in trouble for being out on the piss. But his alcohol use began to erode his relationships with his athletics teammates.

Shrek and Gost, his one-time friend who regularly went drinking with him and went fishing, squabbled with both Waddell and Mack for being treated differently for the same offenses. So Wadale would sort of get away with stuff that others wouldn't. I'm not allowed to eat crackers in bed. Look at him go. It's unbelievable. He's had two boxes. I can't go.

fishing and go out on the piss, but he can. This and other incidents led to Waddell's release from the team in 1910. So it was kind of, it was a slow thing. And I'll explain as well that he wasn't super well, but there's kind of a bittersweet reason as to why. So after his major league career was over, Wadell pitched for parts of three or more years in minor leagues, including a 20-win season for the Minneapolis-Millars in 1911 and pitching for the Minneapolis Rough Riders and the Virginia ore diggers in 1913.

So many great names. So good. Rough riders. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right. But by that 1913 season, his health was declining and he'd lost a lot of muscle and he was no longer that muscular long-limbed hero of the prior decade.

And that's because while training with the Millers in, in the years before, Waddell helped save the city of Hickman, Kentucky from a devastating flood in the spring of 1912. He held back a flood. Basically, wow. He was a dark. He just stood there and damned the river.

Yeah. He was a levy himself. River be damned, he said. Yeah, and that'll take away a lot of your muscle mass. Yeah, it's pretty draining. No, basically he got pneumonia from standing for hours in icy waters up to his armpits, placing sandbags in advance of rising waters. Oh, legend.

The pneumonia drained him quite badly, and when a second flood hit the town, he was once again out there in the cold water to help. So by 1913, he was thinner, less musly, generally not very well. Soon after, he was diagnosed with tuberculosis and moved to live closer to his sister in San Antonio, Texas. His health never really recovered,

and he was placed in a sanitarium in nearby Elmendorf, until he died at the age of 37, No. On the 1st of April 1914. So some people do mention that he was born on Friday the 13th and he died on April Fool's Day. Oh my gosh. What does it all mean? But so like he packed all of that into quite a short life.

Yes. 37 years. And yeah, he died from an illness he sustained helping people. Oh my God. Wow. Pretty amazing. What a legend. Pretty cool. Yeah, I don't know.

I'd heard like I think this. This is a story that gets told a bit on different podcasts and stuff. Mm-hmm. And I just seen the name, I've even told the story. I always thought, I didn't realize it was like this noble sort of beautiful soul. Yeah. But he, yeah, it seems like his nickname undersells him. Yeah, totally.

And it's so of the time, isn't it, that people are just focusing on that he's a bit of an idiot. But like I was saying before, through a more modern lens or we. the information we have now, people like, I don't think he wasn't stupid. He might have had other, yeah, either intellectual disabilities or he was on an autism spectrum or he had ADHD or like something that meant that he was, you know, easily distracted or off just doing next things or was on to the next adventure and wasn't like super focused. But I think there's also that sort of forest gum comparison that he's like quite, he seems like quite a sweet, well-meaning person. And I think that's really cool.

I don't think you would have any of those things. Well, they didn't happen back in my day. No, no, no, no, you're right. That's a, that's a modern thing. Every second person's got something now, don't they? It's all a scam. Yeah. It's all the, big medicine.

It's made it all up. It's like we saw a big spike in, big spike in left-handedness, you know? Once we stopped hitting kids for being left-handed. Yeah. Ridiculous. So, well, did you take the same lesson out of that? as me. Keep hitting kids. Keep hitting kids. Keep forcing the right hand. With your right hand.

Any parents who hit with their left hand should be hit. Yeah. Because that's the devil's hand. Yeah. Hit them with God's hand. The Jesus hand. Jesus was right handed, right? Yeah. Jess, that is. How do you even ask that question? Of course you was. Sorry. It's been a while since I left my Catholic high school. So yeah, sadly all good things must come to an end and he died at 37. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1946 by the Veterans Committee that looked to enshrine a number of players from his era and the previous century

who had contributed to the growth of the game. One of Waddell's contributions was that he was perhaps the greatest drawing card in the first decade of the century, a man whose unique talent and personality drew baseball fans around the country to ballparks. Nice. So people came out in flocks to see him play. and yeah he he packed a lot into a short life and we love to tell those stories here because it's always very interesting but there you go that is the story of rube waddell what a guy

what a life i mean i've never been to a baseball like a professional baseball game but if he like that's the kind of guy that would bring out even sort of semi-interested fans of baseball right totally oh like if there was a chance of me seeing a player and also a chance of me seeing other people distract that player with a bunch of puppies? I'm going. I'm going to that game. I'm going for the puppies. I'm taking a puppy.

Yeah. They need to bring that back. I mean, even just have it as, as, you know, like even if they don't have that naturally, like an easily distracted nature,

get them just, you know, get them to play the part. Like, you have to be a bit distracted by, you know, make it more like WWE or whatever. Yeah.

Make it more like the Harlem Globetrotters. Yes. That's right. A bit of razzled down. Copy rule. Do some tricks. There is a league over there called like the banana league or something that I think is a bit like that. Banana ball, banana baseball.

And it's all just like fireworks and real hectic baseball stuff. Because I think it is quite a boring game if left to its own devices. I enjoyed it. I went to a baseball game and enjoyed it. I had a great time. Where did you go? Great question. Yankee Stadium.

Oh. Fair to that. A lot of fun. But we got in the lift at our hotel afterwards, and a couple got in, and they were American, and they said, you know, what have been up to? And we said, we just went to a baseball game. And the guy of this couple was like, oh, yeah, they've changed the rules. I think Aidan said, like, I expected it to be kind of a bit slower and a bit more boring.

The guy was like, oh, they've changed the rules, so it moves a bit quicker now. And then I've just repeated that back to people every time people talk about baseball. I said, wow, they changed the rules. And they, it moves pretty quick. It's got a good flow now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it flows pretty well. So it was actually, I loved it.

It was really fun. It was more fun than going to a football game there, dare I say. Okay, cool. I should really, you know, the Melbourne team played just out of town. And then you can, there's like a party level where you can go up on the stand. And I think your ticket is open bar and stuff like that. I remember we should go, I'd love to go see a game there. That's, go the aces.

Wild. Wow, the party bar. Or party level I think it's something like that Yeah That's fun But I know you two love to party So maybe we could

Big partiers Big partiers Is there a puppy level Yeah I'd pay for that I'd pay for the puppy level They should do a puppy day Is wasted on me

But if there's a puppy day I'd be into that For sure Puppies would never be wasted on me Yeah We should We should pitch that to them As an idea

The puppy bar Open puppy bar You can go in and just pet as many puppies as you want. You see those celebrity interviews where they're just like, they're answering questions while surrounded by a whole litter of puppies? Fuck, that's a dream. I also have somehow never seen this.

Really? That sounds like something that was made by AI or something. You haven't been fooled, have you? But then I wonder what do with the puppies. Why is that happening? No, you know, they're just like, you can't just have an interview anymore. It's got to have an element of difference and it's got to be interesting. So it's like there's a guy who,

interviews people on roller coasters and they're answering questions about their new TV show while on a roller coaster. This is just their answering questions while they're holding puppies. Does your algorithm have you on that guy doing hot takes on trains? Oh yeah, 100% love that guy. He says stuff like that as well. Everything is like 100% agree or no, 100% disagree. That's just how young people speak, Matt. I know that's confusing for you, but He's not a young, is he a young person? Younger than you. Is he?

What a hell? Canonically or IRL? Either. Yeah, to both. Well, Jess, what a tale and what a tale well told. But that brings us to everyone's favorite section in the show where we thank and appreciate some of our fantastic supporters who get involved. by Patreon.com slash dogo on pot. And you can do that too.

You might be sitting there going, oh, no, is there like some sort of a cool gatekeeper person there waiting to stop me from entering? No. If you're interested, you're cool enough. That's the rule. You're also hot, by the way. Yeah, there's no cool or hot test.

If you're interested, you're automatically cool enough and hot enough. It's like magic. If you're hearing this and going, I'm not interested, well, we've got some bad news for you. You're cool and hot. Wait, no, if they're not interested. If you're not interested, you're an ugly and a loser. You're an ugly loser. And that doesn't get.

And I don't know why have you listened to this fucking long if you're just an ugly loser? And that that's different from being interested but not in a position to afford it. That's a different thing entirely. Yeah, you're mega cool and super hot. Yes, that's right. It's the interest. If you're sitting here going, whatever, I knew all of that. Oh, this, you know what?

I don't like it when they go on tangents. I don't like the girl one. You're a fucking fugly loser. Yeah. Yeah, if you ever think about commenting on a clip or something saying, oh, the girl, could she just stop talking for a minute? Then you are repulsively ugly. You make me want to see you.

Yeah, I will stop talking to throw up at the mere side of you, you fugly loser. How about that? Yeah. Fuck off, you misogynistic fugly fuck. At the thought of you, you're disgusting. Dave gave me a look before that either implied I'd gone too far or he was a bit worried about me. No, maybe both. Sorry, I zoned out for a second there.

I was just on our YouTube sending out some comments. What were you saying? No, two thumbs up from me. I was definitely thinking that was Dave sort of zoning out and zoning. zone back in going, wait, where are we? What's happening? I've zoned out for one second. Jess is yelling, you fugly loser.

I don't know what's happening. I'm like, is she looking at me? Is she looking at me? Or is this, is this hypothetical or is she actually having to go with me? I'm not sure. Try to defend myself. So anyway, yeah, those people to one side, this is all about the hot, cool people who are involved at Patreon.com slash Stigawon pod.

There's a bunch of different levels. You can get different things depending on where you are, including heaps of bonus. episodes. I think that what is there over 250 now Dave? Yeah, 250 plus there's D&D campaigns, there's bonus episodes, there's quizzes, there's am I a dead woman, there's so many fun things to unlock. There's also am I a dead woman? That's on there too. Yeah, that was a mistake. There's also Matt remembers some of his more than that. And yeah, there was the original Who Knew it with Matt Stewart and a bunch of fun stuff there. there's also like you can vote for the topics something like two out of three topics

uh block makes that a bit more confusing but it's something like two out of three topics uh voted on by the listeners was rube voted on by the listeners papa absolutely was yeah and uh i put up four topics rub had over 50 percent of the votes okay that's a landslide it was a landslide yeah you're not having to go to second preferences there if we did have a system that included second preferences yeah sometimes i just i put it up for the vote and then i just choose what I want. That's the second preference. Yeah, mine.

And that's the powerful one. In this case, I did do the report on what the people wanted and they voted very well. Don't say. They're just. People believe that. That's a joke. That is a joke. But yeah, there's so much so.

And if you thought that was serious. Oh, no. Oh, no. Guess what? You are a fugly loser and nobody ever wants to touch you with a 10-foot pole. You fugly loser. the time person who goes, this podcast, which very clearly markets itself

is a comedy podcast hosted by three, well, two comedians and one former comedian. And, oh, but I don't, but I'm, the, I don't think they take this very seriously. Fuck off, you fugly loser. What a way to find out that Jess no longer considers me a comedian? That's rude. And to that, they'd say something like, uh, comedy podcasts are meant to be funny, Jess. What do you say to that?

I'll say, well, I'm confused by this now and I've got myself all rolled up and I'm needing a break So this section of the show is like There's also the nicest corner of the internet Which genuinely it's the only reason I think we're keeping matter afloat basically

It's the only reason so many people still have Facebook accounts Including me probably But that's a really fun thing as well You get access to all that And the other thing, if you're in the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above, you get to be involved in the fact-quote or question section, which is a section of the show we're about to do that has a jingle go, something like this.

Fact quote or question. She always remembers the... She always remembers the... I have to get that bell service. I was fine getting some WD-40 on this. Jesus. No, let's know. I have had a cold over the last couple of weeks,

and it's really hit my false set at high register. Well, if you're coming out with... excuses like that let me tell you one thing you're a fungly loser so on for this section people on the level of Sydney Schoenberg Memorial level or above get to give us fact quote or question or brag or suggestion or really whatever they like and then I read out a few of them on the show I read them out for the first time well I will do that right now and they also get to give themselves a title first one this week comes from the silly I'd missile man himself Pete Holburton, and I hadn't read ahead, who's given himself the title of wannabe,

Steely Odd Missile Man. I'd take that wannabe away. You are, to me. You're our Steely Eyeed Missile Man. Big time. Pete writes, Hi Legends, quick space-related fact for you. He said, I've got a reputation to keep after all. The first satellite that the French launched was called Asterix after the comic book character.

Guess it makes sense as Asterix comes from Asterisks. to risk, which comes from the Greek for Little Star. Hope you're all well, and as usual, thanks for all the loss and learning. Cheers, Pete. Pete. Love that. I mean, I love if that's one of those things where you'd say that to the French people, they'd go, yeah, yeah, I guess that's why we did it.

Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. Yeah, we knew that we looked into the Greek, or if they were like, Asterix is famous. I like cartoon Vikings, whatever he is. He's a goal. Jess, you're calling that fun fact? Yeah, it's pretty fun. Dave, you're calling out a dull fact? No, I mean, I'd like to just defer to Jess and say, yeah.

I find it funny if she's approving it, I'm allowed to say it aloud. And I will say if you're listening and you do think that's a dull fact. Yes? Let me tell you one thing. Look in the mirror and repulse yourself because you're fugly. And then turn to your no friends, because you don't have any, because you're a fucking loser. I'll say you as well Pete is in the nicest corner of the internet and he said he's coming to see my show Bad Boy at the Melbourne Comedy Festival

on the 11th so if you want to meet the Gileard Missilead Missal Man Jesus Sorry I'll just bring up the ticket list for who's coming to my show And I'll give out their details as well Yeah I'm just going to docks everyone I'm not really he said it publicly in that group I guess it's not publicly then is it But anyway me and Peter are going to have a drink after if you want to join us

the 11th of April. He's just opening it up to everyone. Pete wanted a private drink with that. And we're going back to Pete's house. His address is, of course. Pete's going to drive me in his car. His registration number is. That's right.

Just tap on the back window. We'll let you in. We've got three extra spots in the back. If you're running late, his mobile number is, send him a text. Thank you, Pete. That was great. Love that fact. That's the kind of fact that I think I could even remember, which I like as well.

next one comes from Paul Meller whose title is Old Man from Oldham with an old quote I'm looking for to this I haven't had a quote for a little while Yeah I don't mind a quote

Paul if you want his details So Paul has written I mean Paul's doxes himself all the time If you follow him on social media This is going to sound like

I know all these people personally But that's kind of happens With the patrons a little bit But he posts photos on his daily walks. I'm like, I reckon I could figure out exactly where you live. In the middle of paradise. It's near a forest anyway. I'm on your, Paul.

I'm on your scent. Paul has a quote writing. This quote is engraved on the floor outside of Oldham's Historic Town Hall. It reads, We shape our buildings thereafter they shape us, and was said by Sir Winston Churchill in the House of Lords in 1943. Churchill was arguing that the shape of the original House of Commons Chamber in the UK Parliament was a key factor in the development of the country's democratic process. It was being rebuilt after the Blitz in World War II.

He believed that the chamber's rectangular pattern was responsible for the two-party system that is the foundation of British parliamentary democracy, so they went with, that in the rebuild. However, I'd like to think it literally is about how they shape us as people, as many who work in the House of Commons couldn't run a path, never mind a country. Maybe that shape hasn't been very successful. I thought it was being really patriotic. I'm like, this is very sincere.

Oh, he's leading up to laying the slippers in to the political class. I like that we couldn't run a bath. Perhaps we should knock it down and go with something wild to mix it up a bit. Maybe a pyramid? What do you reckon? Anyway, go saints. Cheers, Paul. Thank you, Paul.

Have you seen footage of the lower house in the UK? Because it's obviously big. They pack them in. They sit side by side like sardines and then they yell at each other, which is incredible. And then they used to have the, I think he's retired now, the old speaker who was trying to keep, you know, everyone in check. And he, John Burkow, I think he's name was. He can speak like this. Order.

Order. Order. Order. That's a nightmare job. Order. Just mediating fucking fully grown toddlers. Yeah, it's awesome. But yeah, I reckon if we stacked them up like a pyramid, that'd be great.

It becomes its own echo chamber. Yeah. Thank you, Paul. I like that very much. Next one comes from Tamara Potts, whose title is. beer and Tamara's got a fact writing the beer pioneer is freaking awesome oh I like this fact I told my husband it's like Stanley Tucci is searching for Italy and he laughed at me then got really serious and said that it was exactly like that we're having that's the kind of

dynamic my husband and I have where I say something he laughs at me I give him a death stare and he goes No, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So funny. I was going to say the exact same thing. Please don't be mad at me. That's so funny. It's kind of like this. It's not kind of like it at all. It's exactly like it.

And she finishes saying, we're having beers and watching the first episode now. Love, love, love it. Oh, thank you so much, Tamara. Yeah, that's now, that's available worldwide on the YouTube channel, the beer pioneer YouTube channel. And, I mean, I feel so removed from it. I mean, obviously I host it and stuff, but I think so much of why it's good has nothing to do with me. The crew was just so great.

And Shane, who's show it, you know, his idea, is just put together a really fun thing, I think. So, yeah, thanks so much for watching tomorrow. That's very nice. He laughed at me. Then got really serious and said it was exactly like that. It's exactly like that. Matt, what about pitching season three? The beer pie ania and we co-host it.

We have beers and pie. Dave, let Matt have his thing. Just let Matt have his thing. I just want to eat pies. I know, but Matt's doing a really good job on the beer pioneer. You put yourself, he said it's up to everyone else. You're a fantastic host on that show. Very funny.

Look at him backpedaling, Matt. Look at him. Unbelievable. Minutes ago, he's like, you know, it needs more Dave. You know what it needs? It just needs, oh, it needs a little. I could come and do it. Shut the fuck up.

Get your own TV show. I don't mind it though, Dave, we should do a pie special. Oh, great. Yeah, well, I'm trying to fucking stand up for you. That's right. And if you don't agree with that, then I'll tell you what's what wrong with you. Thank you tomorrow. The final one comes from Braden Burke, aka guy who fires the golden gun to start a race

when the guy who is supposed to shoot the gun is late. That rings a bell, but I can't remember what that's referring to. Maybe we'll find out. I mean, it'd be great of it if you never explained and it's just turning up, hey, I've got my own gun. I can do it. Great. Oh, perfect. I think it might have been from one of my reports, the New York to Paris car race, which I think one of you wasn't there for.

So you wouldn't. One of you's got an excuse for not remembering that. I think it might have been me, but I also, I'm never going to remember anything anyway. I think we might have missed one each. Did you do a part two? And then maybe I missed the second one. Yes. Yes.

So we're off the hook. One of us is. One of us. We're both off the hook. I assume it's me. So, Braden's offering a brag slash fact slash suggestion slash deal question. Oh. Writing, I'm a PhD student at the University of Connecticut studying maritime archaeology.

Whoa, that sounds fun. I've been listening for years and subscribe for three reasons. One to tell you all that you have. had such an influence on me and my studies, and I can't thank you enough for that. Two, to give you all some money, and three, to make you an offer. Oh, my gosh. This could be interesting. First, I should say, when I started listening to your podcast, I live very close to an island called Charles, Charles Island in Long Island Sound.

I was kayaking near the island while listening to your episode on Captain Kidd. It's so funny that we've sort of, in a way, been kayaking. You know what I mean? We were there, at least in voice. Do you think I'd get seasick in a kayak? Yes. I don't know.

But it feels like if you get seasick snorkeling, it feels like you'd get seasick in a bath. Yeah, I get seasick just from wearing a life jacket. Yeah. So he says, funnily enough, there have been legends for 300 years that kid buried, kid buried some of his treasure on Charles Island.

This was right around the time I was deciding if I should focus on maritime archaeology or other areas of interest. And this experience helped solidify my choice. Isn't that amazing? Now on to the important stuff. Oh yeah, the importance. Not where you're dedicating your life's attention to.

Now to the important stuff. In the 1908 Peking to Paris Motor Race episode, Matt briefly mentioned that one of the organizers had previously set up a disastrous motorboat race in the Mediterranean in 1905 where almost every ship sank. That brief comment sent me on a deep dive. Man, I really, I forgot about that,

but I should really do an episode on it. That race is known as the 1905 Algiers to Toulon Motorboat Race and is actually quite a story. This is a longer one and I'm losing my spot, sorry. Um, there is very little written about the event. Okay, maybe that's why I haven't done it. Uh, oh no, I should finish the sentence before making comment. There's very little written about the event that doesn't come from French newspapers at the time. I'm, I'm the podcast version of Rubona. Um, very easily distracted. However, a website called a hydropine history and a book called Powerboat, Quest for Speed by Kevin Desmond, both discussing. in slightly more detail. I've translated some French documents that have provided more context as well,

adding to the story. Camille de Gast was a participant in the race, one of only three women motor races in the early 20th century. So here's the offer. I want you guys to do an episode covering Camille de Gaston and the 905 Algiers de Toul on motorboat race. She is the sound character of the event and it is honestly quite thrilling. Discussing her life and or the origin of motorboating would add excellent context. In exchange, I will email you copies of the parts of the book mentioned above with the story, send you links to any websites with information and translated newspaper pages. I'll also send you the origin of motorboat racing of which this is one of the earliest races and certainly one of the most infamous and exciting. Yeah, I'm in. Send me, send me this. Don't send to the

others because I'll keep, obviously don't want them to see it. And I'll definitely do an episode on this. Have you been thinking of motorboat racing and giggling every time? Every time. We will have to dedicate 10 minutes at the top of the episode, probably 5 in the middle and then 10 at the end for motorboat related gags. Who can motorboat the fastest? That's what I'm imagining with motorboaters. Early 20th century motorboaters. It's good stuff.

Featjust as I say, not only do I think we all deserve another epic early 20th century race story from you guys. I really, because I did also did the Dole Air Race. I was right into these sort of big and disastrous-ish races back then. Yeah, Keen to do more of those. I've forgotten about that as a genre. Says, I generally intend to search for the sunken boats at some point after finishing my PhD. Hunting for them would be too expensive to do as my PhD dissertation,

but perhaps with the help of Doogle, and the story can get more attention and maybe, just maybe, I can get someone to fund my research. Wow. Love you guys. Keep doing this forever, please. Like, actually till you die. Or till I die.

Well, all good things must come to an end, I suppose. One or the other. We're around the same age, except for Matt. He's old. But man, is he hot? Ooh, big finish. I appreciate that. My God.

Wow. Buy. And also says, please come to New Haven, Connecticut. He'll buy an entire row of seats. I don't know if New Haven, Connecticut, Dave, was on any of the American plans. but... I've had it previously, but if we've sold one row,

that's pretty good. That's pretty good. We should book a venue that's just really wide. So it's like three rows and they've all got 200. We've got it in writing. You said a whole row.

So, his invoice champ. If you don't buy that full row, what would you be? A tight ass probably, yeah. Thank you so much to Braden Tamara, Paul and Pete. The next thing we do is

shout out to a few of where other great supporters. Jess only comes up with a game based on the topic. You'll never believe it. I've found a baseball team name generator. No way. But firstly, I need to ask you two things because you have to choose a category from each column

and then it's going to do names from there. So the first one is agitated adjectives, fancy adjectives, goofy adjectives or non-pro city names. So do you want it to start with a city name or a goofy adjective. Because those are my favourites. Yeah.

What do you? I reckon go with your heart, Bob. I kind of think maybe it would be good to have a name, like a city name. Yes. And our other option is 80s, 90s players last names. Sounds dirty but isn't. Oh, it's hard to go past. I know I've already selected that one, but I'll see if you guys change your mind.

Yeah, that sounds good. All right, great. Okay, submit. I mean, we could use the cities of what their cities there are already from. True. And then you can also use one of those other ones. Nah, it's come up with some good stuff. Okay.

Great. Dave, how about I do the place you do the name, just as the team? Love it. All right. First up, I'd love to thank, oh my gosh, from Address Unknown, can only assume that they're from deep within the fortress of the malls. It's Rahul Cleven or Rahul Cleveland. Holy shit, that's a good name.

Pitcher for the Fort Wayne Beaver Traps. Oh my God, yes. I also have to select one from each category every time. So we can mix it up. Okay. But it did start strong with Fort Wayne Beaver Traves. I think you should just go with your heart each time. I'm going to.

Let the name guide you. Yeah. I'd also love to thank from Nashville, Tennessee. It's Rebecca. And this is a few options here, Rebecca, Rebecca Gwilin. Rebecca Gwelin. Rebecca Jewelin. Oh, do a really soft G one like, Eiglin.

Rebecca Eichlum. Yeah, I think that could be it. And Rebecca's from Nashville, right? From Nashville. It's the Nashville Pickled Adams Apples. Oh, I hate it. That one was goofy adjectives and non-sexual anatomy and medical conditions. Yeah, wow.

I don't think I like that one. No. He doesn't make them Ajar of them Pickled Adam's apples Oh wow That's truly horrific Jess

Sorry Next up I love to thank from Grafton in New South Wales Australia Thank you Matthew Whittingham Matthew Whittingham plays for the

This I don't know that one Neverbide The The The Grafton Dictophones Oh, yeah, that's good.

I met Matthew at, he came to a few shows I did in Brisbane recently, and we had a drink after. And he plays like the leading roles in musicals. Oh, cool. So maybe he's using the dictaphone for ideas. Oh, ooh, a really big song to finish, stuff like that. Idea. Idea for the musical.

Oh, finish with a bang. Yeah, okay. That's good stuff. Next up, I'd love to thank from Kelvin Grove in Queensland, Australia. It's Grace. Who plays for the Boynton Beach Trombones. Bointon is so good. I love Bointon Beach.

Boonton Beach. And Bointon and trombone. It feels like a trombone. It kind of bointon. From bointon. Bointon. Bointon. Bointon.

Boint. then wait. Grace, thank you so much. Next up from Olympia in Washington in the United States. Thank you to Lisa Jackson. Lisa Jackson plays for the Rowanoke drill bits. Oh, that's really good. Roanoke's a previous topic, wasn't it?

That's true. Mascot, drillie. Yeah, it's the little drillie. Very cute. Big eyes. That's his catchphrase. Zsou-s-hoo! I'd love to thank from Conroe in Texas in the United States.

It's Chris Taylor, who plays for the belligerent paluicas. What is a poloca? Who knows? I really like it. I love it. And its mascots catchphrases, Zoo-Zo! Thank you, Chris.

from berserker in Queensland Australia Wow, berserk, I've never heard of that I love it Emma McPherson Who plays for the berserker barnacles Oh yeah That's really good The BBs

And Matt was their mascots Mascots slogan I'm in pain Ah Ah That's Barry the Barnacle He's in a lot of pain He's just trying to get a bit of work combo going

From next up from I just unknown could only shun from deep within the fortress of the malls It's Neve O'Connell Fantastic name And a player from the Pensacola Axeielders And their mascots catchphrases You're in pain I'm going to kill you

You're dead You're dead Thank you Last week they played They played Barry the Barnacle And beat them up That's why he's in a lot Normally he's actually quite chipper

And no one's helping him And he does need medical attention Yeah he does need help They all think it's part of your schick But no And finally this week I'd love to thank from Leeds Leeds

In Great Britain Johnny Guckian I'm giving a few options this week Johnny Gukian Who plays for the lead cockles. Oh, yeah. Leave the little leeds, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock.

Oh, wow. That's what they're, there's a chant they do. He goes, leave, these, leaves, leaves. And they go, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. It's good stuff. I love sport. And I love. We get sport, don't we?

We're a sporty pod. Yeah. Big time. Thank you so much to Johnny, Neve, Emma, Chris, Lisa, Grace, Matthew, Rebecca, and Raoul. And finally, we've just got, before we head off. to induct three, a triptych of fantastic supporters into our triptitch club, which Dave will explain so well. Oh my goodness, this is our Theatre of the Mind slash Hall of Fame

where people who have been on the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years. We welcome them in with a big ceremony every week, and they join the people who are already in the club because you can't leave, but why would you want to? Because inside there's entertainment, there's food, there's distractions from all the chaos of life because this is just a fun hangout zone. Yeah. You can see Jess in there in the food court, you know, being quite dramatic.

Yeah. And you could say, wow, I'm going to cast her in my next feature film. Yeah. And I'll say, you wish you could afford me because I'm playing hardball. Yeah. You can't, yeah, people just come by and all day long are going, geez, you've got a certain X factor. And I say, yeah, no shit. Come to me when you got a big novelty size check and then we'll fucking talk.

But if you just here to compliment me, keep walking, you fugly loser. And you're saying to this people in the triptych club. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying it with my eyes. Yes, in character. And then I say, and seen. Can I get you anything from the bar, I say? You know, I'm very nice.

Because there is a bar and you're behind it. Yeah. Don't you normally have like a special drink, a cocktail? on theme? What's the Rube Waddell cocktail? Beer. Oh, yeah. And food-wise, let me tell you, let me ask you a question.

Let me just say, hot dogs, get your hot dogs. Really? Yeah, I'm walking around. I've got hot dogs. And I need you to take them off me because they are incredibly hot. Wow.

And that is a question. They're actually hot dogs. They're burning. Let me ask you a question. Hot dogs, get your hot dogs. How about you, Shut up. How about that?

You shut up, you fungly loser. I've had enough of you. Can we turn the screen off? I can't look at him anymore. He's repulsive. And I've got the pretty filter on. It's not helping. Yeah.

I've got to turn it up to maximum. How about now? Oh, wow. Is that it is? Is this okay? You look beautiful. Dave, do you normally book a band? Am I remembering this right?

the after party. Yes, I always book a band and I book these months, weeks, sometimes years in advance. These are big international acts that tour all over the world. And this week, you're never going to believe who I've booked. It's the Rubens. Whoa. What are the chances. Hoops and everything.

Get back. Never get back too soon. That's right. Their number one triple J hottest 100 song. Wow. They'll be playing it over and over and over again. I welcome it. And then a great hit set.

Hoops, but they change that Because I assume hoops is about basketball They change it to They do a baseball version of it It's about earrings, you idiot What? All right So I'm on the door

You can't you fucking idiot What do you think about? Oh, I think that's about basketball Shut up Do you hear yourself Through those headphones? I told you I've had enough of you Shut up

I mean, I hear the message. It's just somehow not getting through. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. All right. So I'm so sorry, Jess. I do have to just talk a little bit longer. So I'm on the door.

Makes me sick. This is theater of the bottom. I got the clipboard. I got three names on it. You hear your name. Come on in. Dave's up on stage. He's going to hype you up with some weak word play.

He's emceeing the night. Obviously hang around to see the Rubens afterwards. Jess is also hyping up Dave. If you haven't listened to this section of the show before, Dave's, you know, he's not the most confident man. That's ironic. He's the most confident. So Jess has to hype him up a little bit.

And, yeah, so Dave, you're ready to go? Let's rock. All right. That's an unconfident man. Let's welcome in from Bell Gowler in New South Wales Australia. It's Courtney. Recently the person who's taught me the most about myself. It's Courtney.

Oh, a bit of introspection from Courtney. Nice, thank you. Zoo! Oh, drillies here. Next up, thank you so much, Courtney. Next up from address on own can only shoot from deep within the fortress of the moles. it's Josh Hillman. There's only one hill that this man will die on,

and that's defending Josh Hillman. I want to die on you, Josh. I'm in pain, I'm in pain, oh my God. Like barnacle bills here too. We're actually doing fine by ourselves. That's the thing. We're actually doing okay, and you're ruining the flow.

And finally from Palatine in Illinois in the United States, it's Emily Austria. My favorite Austrian. They're not even from Austria. It's Emily Austria. Who's your least favorite Austrian? Oh gosh, there's so many bad ones.

Well, I think there's one pretty famous bad one I go with. There's some really bad ones, though. They know what they did. You're not going to put one out in front? Okay. Oh, yeah, I'll leave it at that. Thanks so much. Josh and Courtney.

Welcome to the Trip Ditch Club. Make yourselves at home. Hang around for the Rubens afterwards, and let's party all night long, and also get your. hot dogs. Jess, is there anything we need to tell people for you? I'm just like, I just want you to shut the fuck up.

I don't, he keeps talking to me. He just keeps talking. I don't understand. I don't know how to throw to you without words. I'm just on an audio medium. I'm sorry. Shosh. Just shush.

All I want to say is that if people want to suggest a topic they can, there's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website. which is do go on pod.com. And please find us on social media. Do go on pod across Instagram, a Facebook. You can find us a do go on podcast on TikTok. You can see probably that clip of me yelling at Matt,

realistically, is going to be on there. And also to note that we love you. That's all I have to say. Now, Dave, boot this baby home. Can I be so forward to say that the Melbourne International Comedy Festival kicks off next week. Matt and I are both doing our shows. We'd love to see there.

and we're all doing one not only do go on the quiz show live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Festival Club Wednesday, April 2nd at 11pm and man. Are we planning on having a good time? Oh man, it's so pumped. So pumped. I'd love to see you there if you're in and around Melbourne. But apart from that, thank you so much for listening. And until next week, it's goodbye. Later.

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