Do Go On - 495 - The Sankebetsu Brown Bear Incident

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Japan, 1915 - a brown bear attacks and kills multiple villagers*. The people attempt to defend themselves but it seems the bear is stalking them and outsmarts them at every turn. Enter, the bear specialist Miyouke Yasutarō... Joining us this week is the master of Confessions, Sammy Petersen.*Content warning: this episode contains multiple people (including children) being attacked by a bear.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 12:47 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Bear identification test:https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testStart.action?testid=559639 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankebetsu_brown_bear_incident# https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamamoto_Heikichi#Later_life https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-06-15/japan-record-number-of-bear-attacks/103950682 Onikuma: The Sankebetsu Brown Bear Incident and Japanese Modernity by David Laichtman, May 2020 https://www.news.com.au/world/asia/when-a-bear-went-on-a-rampage-in-rural-japan-killing-seven-people/news-story/aab41761845ebf5015bfce6bd1599a02 https://www.nps.gov/articles/bearattacks.htm#:~:text=Cover%20your%20head%20and%20neck,to%20it%20or%20its%20cubs. https://soranews24.com/2022/06/24/site-of-the-worst-bear-attack-in-japanese-history-is-a-chilling-place-to-visit/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of DoGo On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart. Hello, Matt. Hey, Dave, what a pleasure to be here with you.

What are we doing today? We're doing on a pot? We're doing a pod. Oh, great. We usually start with a question, but you often pose your own question. Yeah. Can I ask you this, Sammy P? Is this your third time on?

It's actually my first time on. Thank you for having me. Oh, welcome. Yeah, I want to know about you. That's right. That's right. Oh, we haven't said that yet. No, we haven't said that bit, yeah.

Do you want to go from the top? No, I'm happy to... Yeah, happy to leave it. Sorry, sorry about that, Sammy P. Quick question for you. Dave, could you introduce him? Please welcome to the podcast. A very special guest, dear friend of all of ours.

It's Sammy P. Sammy Peterson. You wouldn't know that you've been doing this podcast for a long time with those sorts of Scala and Shadam. That was incredible stuff. Nailed it. Sammy P, quick question. How good is it to be alive?

God, can I tell you right now? I'm not living my life on snooze control. I am having the best God. damn time I've ever had. I stopped today and I smelled the roses. Yeah. The rosé is more like it. A couple of drinks. Okay. And snooze control, what does that mean? Snooze control basically means when you're driving. Yeah. But, you know, you're not really focused on everything. You're not really focused on the road. You're snoozed out and you're not looking at how beautiful buildings are. Oh, okay. You are. You are beautiful buildings. Oh, my God. I'm looking

how beautiful buildings are. It's where a skyscraper take. I can believe it. Which on? It's a beautiful reality. Yep. Oh, the jewel in Melbourne Skylar. What a beautiful water. Beautiful. Yeah. One of the main characters actually at Melbourne. I think built by Grocon, I'm all right in saying that? Oh, you're probably right. Groko. Grolo, one of the ones.

Yeah. I think Grocon was a Grolo company. Wow. I think that's where the Groh from Grokone came from. Or do you mean the Gruffalo? It was Grolo construction. Don't come at me on this. Don't come at me on Realto.

Have you done that? Have you done a realto episode? No, really should. You really should. It's a bit too interesting. It's pretty interesting to talk about what is now, maybe the fifth tallest building in Melbourne. Top five is pretty good. Yeah, I think so.

I'm still pretty good. When you do enough episodes of the podcast and you have done a lot already. We have done the top four already. This is huge. I mean, the big four caravan park. When I was in primrose school,

it was the biggest in the southern hemisphere. That's how old this guy is. You are old, man. We all look back on that, though. They were great memories of the real great. I felt when you were growing up, the pyramids of Giza

with the tallest buildings on it. Whoa, he got you. But that's northern hemisphere. So Rialto didn't, wasn't in the same conference. Didn't have to compete. Not until the big, the Super Bowl. Can I throw a question back at you?

Yeah, sure. How good is love? Yeah, I think it's pretty good. Yeah. Dave, same question. Hey, I'm feeling pretty good because, you know, the pressure's off me right now because we're recording during Melbourne Comedy Festival time. The moment international comedy festival.

That's right, but I don't respect the internationals. I like the locals. Yeah. Dave's more of a Rialto man than a period. Yeah, that's right. To put it into context that we all understand. Yeah. So, but I'm done.

I did a show with you, Sammy P. We did dating the entire audience. It's great fun. Every night. We had the best time, but we did the first half, but the second half of the festival, that's when Matt Stewart and Sammy Peterson solo, time to shine. Yeah. Matt, and you can check out both of us.

If you go and check out the first 15 minutes of Matt show and then come and see me, it works perfect. Well, why don't see the first 20 of mine? That's interesting, but you've been mine five minutes late and I do not, I'm not kind to like. Can I get the back 45 of Sammy? I go, hey, you want snooze control? Bang, that sort of stuff, that sort of gear. Yeah, yeah.

But Matt is at 845 at Spleen bar. Do you know that? That's right. I'm at 9 p.m. So they can't see us on the same night, but they can see us back-to-back nights, you know, like a Friday Saturday. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, and we call each other during our shows as well.

We talked about that off mic. We're going. We're going to start calling to our show. If you come to our show and you say, either mine or Sammy's, you say, oh, you're going to call, man or Sammy's, depending on who you're going to call Sammy. Yeah. Depending on who you're at Sammy show. Whatever name you want to say in the moment, that's on you. That's improvisation.

So you're at Sammy show and you say, hey, you're going to call Sammy? You reckon that? Yeah. Yeah. So you're going to call Sammy? And then in my crowd, you can say, hey, you want to call Matt or Dave. Oh.

Dave might be just at home. Just have it. You'll always answer. Yeah, no matter what. I've got nothing on. Even though I'm in the crowd of either of the shows. Sorry, I'm just at Matt's show. But you go, I can talk.

I don't tell you that that I was at a show a little while ago. A guy did answer his phone during the show and goes, I can talk. I was like, no, this is the, this is the opportunity. No big deal. This is the time when you can't talk. I can talk. talk. It's the humblest of brags, isn't it? I can talk. I can always talk. Hey, I can feel like you're rushing this call. Slow it down. I got time. I can talk about 50 minutes. This guy sucks.

Oh, that is brutal. So, yeah, the last week of the comedy festival is happening currently at the time of release. So check out Sammy and Matt. And also, what, the long face for Sammy Peterson and bad for Matt Stewart. You're both doing a couple more interstate versions of the show, too. Yeah, and you know what? Can I say this as well? My good friend Matt Stewart and I, a same friend, We've had a bit of beef recently, but Matt and I are doing Perth on the same night. And you can actually see us back to back in the same room. Matt Stewart, do you even know about this? Yeah, well, I do.

I mean, I'm really there on your invitation. Yeah. By request. Isn't invitation only? It's invitation only. I'm kind of there on your invitation, but also on Dave's lack of availability. Yeah, that's right. Dave declined.

Did I say Matt Stewart right in? I couldn't make it. You couldn't make it. But I said, have I got the bad boy for you? If I got the bad boy? No, you're looking for a bad boy. And I was, I was going to, I was probably going to go try and organise it like a little indie run over there.

So, um, even better this is. Even better. We're doing the regal chorus room in Perth for two nights. For the, Perth Comedy Festival. Yeah, it's early May. I don't know when. I think I think it's a second and third of May. Yeah.

And by invitation, we'll be on the same flight. By invitation. I've invited you to the flight. Yeah, I'll be on your lap. We bought one ticket. Yeah. That's all we need. He's come down the oddbeds.

Long flight over there. But you don't sit on my lap backwards. So we face each other these dying time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I straddle you. You straddle me the inside. You'd be sharing the in flight meal. Yeah.

Absolutely. You know, beauty and the hound or whatever. That's exactly what it is. Beauty and the hound. Is that right? Yeah. I'll be in the beast. Fox and a hound.

Boat in the beast. Fox in the hand. Do you mean lady in the tramp? Lady in the trim. Yeah. Option three, please. Fox and the house. Could I look in?

Option three. Feels like who wants to be a millionaire. all of a sudden. I want to find a friend during the show. Sure. During the show. Well, that's what we're doing. If you come and see us live,

I'll be phoned at show. And if you want to date me and send me Pete at the same time, we got one final show that we are doing in Sydney on Saturday, May 24. We're pretty damn excited about it. And you can come see me, possibly. I haven't locked it in yet on May 25. Sunday afternoon. Next day.

Sunday afternoon. Come and check me out if you want. That's really exciting. That's up to you if you want to. I'd love to see you there. I think they should. I think they should. Hey, Dave, do you want to explain out of the show works or maybe Sammy P could.

I would love to. Please. So Dave has a podcast called Book Cheat, very popular. Scott, he reads a book and book. That's not the podcast I'm here to talk about today. He's taking the long way around. I'm here to talk about another podcast called Who Knewil with Matt Stewart? Yeah, I wanted to do that as well.

If you don't mention listen now, then I'll be really disappointed. Another podcast called Prime Mates as well. No, but basically every single goddamn week a question is posed. We have to guess what the answer to the question is. and then Dave Warnackie, Matt Stewart or Jess Perkins, and I have no idea if it's going to be Jess. It's going to be Matt. It's going to be Dave.

We're reading the story today. Jess, how are you? By the way. She's fine. She's fine. Yeah. Good. And they go and they read a book report that they have written themselves.

Not always a book report, but a report. It's nearly never a book report. That's Dave's pocket. Exactly. I sort of corner the market on that one. It really cornered the market. But it is, yeah, you read a beautiful report, a 10th grade level report. I think New York.

listeners are going to just be like, oh, I get it. You understand? That was really succinct. I thought it was really succinct. Thank you. What a pleasure. If you want to just clip that up and play that every time, I think we will. Easy.

Yeah. That will make things a lot easier. And we'll pay your royalty. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. One tart. You always promised a tart. We've gone tart mad.

Yeah. Portuguese tarts, but they call them. Nadas? Or that's the name of the shop. What is it? I think that's the, called sweet Nata. Sweet Nata. I think that might be the local term for it.

Does it? I think it's the, I think it might be a, pun that I only am just getting now. And you know what? I really enjoy it and I really love that. Because a... A pastel denata is a Portuguese egg custard tart. Beautiful stuff.

Do you have one every day? Yes. Keeps the doctor away. Because I... One tart a day keeps a delicious. Yeah. That's as I remember it. The old adage.

What a great saying. Now, Sammy mentioned asking you a beautiful question to get onto topic. And here it is my question to you both. What type of animal are you told if it's black. fight back. Bear. Let me finish the question. Okay.

If it's brown, I'm not going to look in bear right away. I'm not looking in a year. Lie down. Oh. And you say animal? Yeah, he's an animal. This isn't like an excretion. So I should also mention if it's tangy and brown. You're inside of town.

Okay, yes. It's brown, flash it down at the yellow letter meller. The old adage. I am looking for the answer of bear. Oh my God. Are you talking about the history of bears? Yes. And it goes back a long time.

They've been around for ages. Really? When you're really looking into it, they've been around for ages. Care Bears, Teddy Ruckspin, he's of them. Teddy Ruxbin. Is that what you said? I haven't heard of him for ages. That's his name.

Bear. Bear. Oh, my God. That's so true. What about in the big blue house? Oh, yeah. Is that a bear? He's great.

Humphrey B. Oh, yeah. Flow. Yep. Paddington. Baddington, yeah. Yogi. Did you say Baddington?

Yeah. Battington the bear. Paddington's brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we weren't able to afford. Proper Paddington. Timu.

Timu Paddington. Now, these are all beautiful cuddly bears that we're talking about. But that's not what we're talking about today. We're talking about an extremely vicious bear. Oh, my God. But I'll get to it. Not the care bear. Not the care bear.

And not the cocaine bear. You know, remember we have covered that? No, it's, uh, but... Have you ever done that before? Have you ever started reading something and then gone, you know who've covered this? No. It is something we dread because we keep it a secret from each other. Yeah, yeah.

So it is something we dread. And Jess has known that. memory. Yes. She's fine, by the way. She's gone, because we have the hat where people suggest topics and we mark it red when we've done it to try and avoid this. She messaged one recently and said, hey, this is red, but I have no, have we actually done this?

And I had done it. She just had no memory for. Oh, no. Well, yeah, that's, um. Hope none of you go colour blunt. Yeah, that would be really bad. We, the one time we were really close to it. Me and Jess were both going to do Bowie.

and we're asking questions. We're like, just so we don't, you know, we both started researching, we're like, just so we don't double up. I'm doing a biography. And she's like, so am I. I'm like, oh, mine's an English guy. She's like, so is mine. And I'm like, mine was born before 2000.

And she's like, oh, I think we're all right. I'm like, a while before. Oh, so is mine. What's that they get before 2000? I'm like, I was trying to keep in. Yeah, he beat a loop about it. Yeah, and this was like eight years ago. I'm not doing a 17-year-old.

Does that help? I'm not doing 17-year-old pop a single week. Maybe it wasn't 2000, right? It doesn't matter. He had black hair. Hey, I'm not the butt of this joke. You refuse to be the butt of the joke. Just out of describing his many, many styles

and he's had over the years. He can't even. He had black hair in 2001. Oh, no, I think we're fine. Okay. Anyway, Dave, you're talking about a bear. A bear. A bear.

Closer to cocaine beer than K. hair bear on the scale. Let's talk about that. This topic has been suggested by two people, Tim Randall from Brisbane and Queensland. I've been calling her Krabopper. I also thought of Krandall. And thank you to Ethan Lee from Brighton in the UK who suggested it not once, but twice. Okay. That's how you know it's good. He really wants this one. And then it was voted for by our Patreon supporters at patreon.com slash do go on pod. So you know it's really good. You know, it's really good. Because there were four great topics and this is this one by two votes. Okay. So, both of those were Randall.

No, the other guy who... I could have been Tim Randall and Ethan Lee. So I am going to give a bit of a background on bears. I know it sounds wild to give a history of bears. You were kind of right. Humans have been hunting brown bears for over 10,000 years. Oh my God. Bears were hunted throughout their range in Europe, Asia and North America

by both the Native Americans and Europeans alike. The former usually killed bears for survival needs, whilst the latter, in Europe, they killed for sport or population control. In Europe, between the 17th and 18th centuries, humans sought to control brown bear numbers by awarding those who managed to kill one. This bounty scheme pushed the brown bear population to the brink of extinction before comprehensive protection was offered in the 1900. So they kind of overcorrected.

Being like, hey, we'll give you like heaps of cash if you kill a bear. And everyone was like, well, we'll all kill one. Yeah. It's terrifying. It's like the government will do like they did. baby bonuses and stuff. It's like, we need more people so they pay people to have kids. Yeah.

And then like it booms, right? Yeah. I was like, oh, not that many. Oh, whoa, whoa. Now we're taking money off you. You weren't meant to have 50. Baby bonus was wild as well. What a strange thing.

Yeah. To have a money. But it's also like it was money that would not cover the baby completely. Yeah. You're still running at a loss. You're still running at a loss. You're in the red massively. A couple of grand up front, but like the rest, that's on you.

That's on you. So we've been killing bear's three ages, but sometimes the bear fights back. Oh my God. Which is absolutely putting like anthropomorphic ideas on today's story, which warning up top is at times very violent. Today we are talking about the Sanky Betzu Brown Bear Incident. Oh, my God. I like how vague incident is. So I love anything that's deemed an incident.

Yeah. An incident is always going to be good. I'm in. I'm in. I'm looked. I'm in. I'm looked. Sident.

That was good. Is that really good? Good. Siri write that down for me, not for man. Yeah. Okay, so we'll see that in. I'll put that in my show. You'll see that coming up in my show this week. I'm in, sir, out of nowhere.

I'm in context. It was no good. I've actually leaned into it. I really lean into it every night as if I'm going, they're going to love this and stuff. No, there they have. So let me take you back to the Tai Shoe era in Japan, coinciding coincidentally with the reign of Emperor Taisho from 1912 to 1925.

And our story takes place in 1915. World War I is raging. Japan is a member of the Allies, and politically, the Japanese Empire seized the opportunity to expand its sphere of influence in China and to gain recognition as a great power in post-war geopolitics. But in the small village of Sankey Betu, they are more focused on the events in their own literal backyard. Okay. So you should be, always focus local, as you deal with the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. So the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Thank you.

Always focus on your own backyard. Tend to your own garden first. That's what I always say. Is that right? Yes, right. Tend to your own garden before, before gardening other people. Sort of ignore world events. Yep.

And I believe in that so strongly. And you live in our apartment. That's right. I don't even have a backyard. Jesus. You're lazy, man. That's lazy. Tend to your pop plant.

Tend to one pop plant. But it's beautiful. Oh, thank you for saying. For my turn. So this village or this area is about 11 kilometres or 6.8 miles inland from the west coast of Hokkaido, Japan's second largest island by area. But at the time, it's pretty sparsely populated. Not many people are living there. In mid-November, at the family home of the Akita household, a bear

appeared and spooked one of the family's horses. Was that normal? No, this isn't super unusual. It's a new settlement surrounded by like a really rugged forest and bears are expected in the area. Just hanging out. Just hanging out. Just hanging out. Just hanging out. Having a good. time. When you say spooked, was it dressed up Halloween? Yeah. And the ghost killer face mask on. It was like, oh. Big screen fan way before the screen happened. It's actually based on this story. Oh, is that true? Yeah. That's huge. Well, the, the series, write that down as well. I like that one. Neve Campbell's playing the horse. Well, the horse wasn't the only one spooked because the bear soon fled after eating some corn. Oh, grab a bit of corn. Didn't like it? And then went, I liked it too much and ran often if I want the corn. Was it raw corn or is he?

It popped. Cracking up in some cans. It has some popcorn. Oh, popcorn. Yeah, popcorn. He was in a movie. Sitting by the microwave. Not very nutritionally dense, but, you know.

Very moorish. Really hits the spot. Very moorish. So, the bear's gone. But that's not the end of the story. Oh, I thought that's the end of the story. I really like that story. Because it returned to the village on November 20 and one of the men of the Kamatero household

and two, Matagi, which are special hunters, decided to scare the bear off. Matagi and. known for using Akita dogs to hunt and guard bears. You know, do you know the, an Akita? No. Quite a cool, fashionable dog now. Okay. No, Makita's.

Nikita, you're thinking Nikita, the young Alton Johnson. Oh, I was thinking of Nikita La Femniquita. Oh, my favorite Nikita. Played by an Australian, think local. Think local. And can I get my Makita back? Mac? So they wanted to spook the bear after the bear spook them.

Yeah, because it's like, this bear's becoming a bit too familiar. It's rocking up. It's rocking up. It's like stealing. our food, let's, you know, take care of it before it takes care of us. This bear is cocksure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not said enough about bears.

No. Yeah. So they called in the Matagi, the big guns. You see, they had reason to be frightened, and that is that the bear that was hanging around was an etso brown bear, aka an Azuri brown bear, aka Russian grizzly bear, aka the black grizzly bear. AKA, what you've got to be scared of the most. Well, so it's known by many names.

Yeah, because it's native to a... It's like across Asia and parts of Russia. Right. From different parts, they call it different things. What does it you prefer? Just bear. Just bear. And it's, this is an island, right?

Is that what you said? Yeah, well, Japan is, yep. And this is one of the, it's not even the biggest island in Japan. Second biggest. Second biggest island. I thought you said this is in Ireland, isn't it? It's an island, yeah? So, I've been following.

And then my response was, yeah, Japan is. Yeah, Japan is. Yeah, Japan is. Yeah, Japan is. Yeah, roughly. I'm not good at geography, but, roughly. So these bears migrated when there was a land bridge or something? Yeah, ages, like, you know, obviously millennia ago.

Yeah, right. So that, and they're, but they're still the same genus as these other bears. They haven't evolved differently at all. I think that they come in different sizes, I believe. Some people say the Russian ones are the biggest. Yeah, Russian dolls, yeah. Yeah. Russian dolls are the beers.

Because they fit the smaller ones inside them. Yes. They've got to be bigger. You've got a bit. It just makes sense. It makes perfect sense to me. So yeah, they're bigger. Is that because they've got more...

Do animals get bigger or smaller when they get stuck on an island to evolve? Well, I actually can't answer this question myself. I guess they don't need to evolve to get bigger, do they? Because they're already the top dog. Yeah. I love the fascination for a while with teacup pigs. It was like really obsessed with teacup pigs and they didn't know that they were just baby pigs. Oh, yes, it turned out they didn't exist.

There's no such thing. They just grew bigger. Tea cup pigs anymore. It's something about like an 180 kilo pig. In your lounge room This is a dumpster pig Love them Dumpeter pigs

And then the breeders like Oh I don't know what happened Oh sorry about that Oh god Whoops Didn't you follow the instructions Yeah Did you water it too much

It's like I got my My massive dog Missy Diggins 55 kilo dog From a place called Minnie's bulldog rescue I was like That is false overtass

That is absolutely I got stitched up Hey And thank you for saying that No That's a big dog Size matters You are a big dog

Size always Thanks a lot You've got a big dog But these bears Are even bigger Bigger than that That's huge. Because they are a subspecies of brown bear, and they're real big.

Some of them approach the size of kodiak bears, which are up there with polar bears as the biggest on earth. Oh, Kodiak bears. Can I have a kodiak moment? Is that anything? Yeah, I think so. We write that down. Yeah. I'll put that in the show.

Yeah, yeah. You can use it if you want. Okay. Let's both do it tonight. Let's have a kodiak moment. Is that anything? It's everything. That's not anything.

That's everything. Yeah, that means so much to me. I'm so sorry, but you've got a talent scatting tonight, and he's very impressed. In the podcast? In the podcast? In the corner? You just see the corner going, I like this stuff. I don't think I understand bears at all.

Last week, I first heard of a blue bear. Did you heard of? No, it's a blue bear. They're from... The bear in the big blue house. That's what you're thinking of. Oh. Yeah, the blue bear.

I hadn't thought of a blue bear either. They're from Nepal, maybe, or something like that? But they're all subspecies of eight different types of bear. I've discovered this week. There's brown bears, black bears, but there's also like a North American and a... And maybe a South American type of those. But there's Sun Bear, there's the Panda Bear. Polar?

Polar. Yeah. So there's eight like genuses and there are subspecies of those eight. Is it actually blue, the bear? It was pretty blue. It was pretty blue. It was not completely blue, but pretty blue. No, I wouldn't say particularly blue.

Not primary. Blue for a bear. Oh, yeah, I do not. I actually do know what you mean. Yeah, Tibetan Blue Bear. One of the rarest subspecies of brown bear. So that's a type of brown bear. well. Right. Yes, it's brown.

It's brown, but it looks a little bit more blue than a cue. A hue. Yeah, a blue hue. Blue cue. On the brown bear. But like, because some of them, I've definitely heard of obviously polar, panda, brown, black bear, but then there's also... I've heard of beats of them. Yeah, the sun bear. There's, my favorite,

the spectacled bear. That's one of the big eight. A beer with glasses. That's Pattingson's adopted mother. Yeah. He's always wearing glasses. Also known as the South American bear, where Paddy is from. Deepest. The Arcus Peru.

The Andean bear, part of Peru has the Andes. Oh my God. I was good pointing at that. That's quite nice. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Any other bits? They're all subspecies of those eight.

So that's something I didn't know. Maybe other people did. No, I didn't know. So what, Codiak is a subspecies of brown? That's a big brown one. Big brown bear. Big brown bear. Big, big.

Like the biggest, the biggest. I think. What's that grizzly? That's a brown bear? Yes. It's actually called grizzly. Grizzly is probably the most famous bear, is it? Do you think?

I don't know the species were actually called grizzly. Yeah. Yeah, grizzlies are also a brown bear type of brown bear in North America. It's very interesting. But they're the big, the cardiac and the polar bear are the biggest ones. I'm happy for you to just ditch the story and talk, talk to us about all the bears. All the bears, if you want. You can just name the bears.

I've got a few bit of some bear stuff at the end. Okay. At the end. Well, let's answer. So spoiler. We're going to get through this crap first. That's a great ford, Sal. The stuff coming up about bears, don't worry about that.

So we're talking about the, the Ezzo bear. Yeah. Okay, the Russian grizzly. Another one I've not heard of before. It's an ETSA bear. Yeah. Sort of line. So there are...

That's a crocheted bear. It's a crochet bear. It's a crochet bear. But like the Tibetan bear, this is a type of brown bear. So that it's big and they're known to be deadly to humans. In Hokkaido, the island that we're talking about today. Ireland. During the first...

Ireland. During the first... 57 years of the 20th century, 141 people died from bear attacks. Oh, wow. And another 300 were injured. Shit. And that's on a pretty non-populated island. Right.

Wow. And teacup pigs were running rough. Yeah. That was so small. It was so small. Killing everyone. Least expect it. Yeah.

So this particular Ezzo bear was spooked off again, but it reappeared on November 30. The men were waiting and they shot at the bear and wounded it, but it escaped. They pursued it on foot following the, the bear's footprints towards Mount On Ishika, they found blood stains on the trail, but when the weather turned, they were forced to retreat. But seeing the blood, they assumed that it was injured, probably dying, it would no longer be a problem. Well, they were wrong.

Yeah, that's how I would catch someone. I'd put blood around me and lie down. Yeah. And then spring up. Don't, they say don't. And I'm always trying to catch people. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Gotcha. I made you think I've been horribly murdered. That's how I start my stand up show I'm lying there covered in blood. Oh. Gotcha. Got you got to get a crowd. Yeah, shut the doors. Got him a beauty.

Now sit down, I've got a story to tell. Nothing to do with the blood. Nothing to do with the blood. They say don't poke a bear. They've done worse than that. Takes shot a bear. Yeah, that's scary. And that bear's pissed, and that bear would make them live to regret not finishing off the job.

Oh, God. This is a Jason Stathen bear. It just won't stop. You can't stop. So, fast forward just over a week to December 9, 1915, and that same bear appeared at another family's house, this time the otters. Abe Mayu was the wife of a farmer. She was there with a baby.

She was babysitting named Hesumi Mikayo. This time, the bear came inside the property, which you can see recreations of online, and it's a basic timber home with straw-lined walls. So pretty easy for a bear to get inside. Yeah. You can't just lock the big front door. Right. It's a big bear.

It's going to get in the big front door. I found a website that documents bear attacks. I'm not sure if you've heard of this one, Wikipedia.org. Oh. Okay. More of a dot-gov.a.u kind of going. Oh, okay, right, yeah, fantastic. Yeah, you can trust those ones.

You can always trust them. Why is it called Wikipedia? I think it's Japanese. Oh, yeah, right. That makes a huge sense, actually. Is that Japanese for Bear? Could be. Yeah, that would make sense.

Wikies, yeah, Japanese for Bear, I believe. In Ireland. Bearpedia. Beerpedia. It's a great website as this story is really famous in Japan, so I couldn't find that many English resources, and nearly every news article on this is very similar to the Wiki article. Right.

So it seems to be the number one English source. Okay. I did Japanese in primary school. Oh, me too. Yeah. So maybe you just sent it to me. Oh. Translate?

Selma Puggy. That's Indonesian. Yeah. Which I did in high school. That's why you got me. Yeah. Otherwise, yeah, you messed with the wrong guy. I would have got you.

Yeah. I got you got my face. Yeah. So this is from the wiki article and a warning. This quote is brutal. So here it is. The bear is inside the farmhouse. Makayo, the baby was bitten on the head and killed.

Sorry to say. Mayu, the farmer's wife, fought back apparently by throwing firewood and tried to escape, but she was overtaken, knocked down and dragged into the imperial forest of Sankeepsu. According to contemporary descriptions, the scene that was left behind resembled a slaughterhouse with blood puddled on the farmhouse floor. Oh, God. And then Sammy pops up says, gotcha. Gotcha.

Gotcha a beauty. She's Sammy. That's in bad taste, mate. Yeah. That's bad. Too soon. All right. So pretty.

So I'll write that down. Yeah. So genuinely harrowing stuff there. This bear has killed two people. That might be the worst thing that's ever been said on this podcast. Yeah. I don't know about that. You said some pretty bad stuff.

My memory is like that. We block out the really, really grim stuff. The early serial killer episodes. Now, the next day, a 30-person search party was assembled to go after the bear and to recover the remains of Maya, whose body was still missing. How many people in the search party? 30 people. Okay. Yeah.

Not enough. Not enough. Not to get a bear. That's not a big town. That's true. That might be everyone. That's everyone in the town. Yeah, I didn't think about that.

Sam, you're still like, this is not enough. This is not enough for a town. It's not enough for a town. What are we doing? Yeah, what are we doing? We don't even have a bag. Sam, can you, are we thinking local or not, right?

Sometimes you're supporting local. Yeah, I know. You're shitting on local. I know. For a guy with no backyard, I talk big. The group didn't have to go far, only wandering about 150 meters into the forest before it was found. That's the body,

along with the murderous bear. Five men fired the guns at the bear, but only one hit the target, which remember is very big. We got bloody Star Troopers here. Is that something that makes sense? Yeah. Storm Troopers. Damn it.

But Star Troopers is fun too. Oh, we've got bloody Starship Troopers here. You've got Star Shoeopers here. You've got a spaceship troopers. Because they can't shoot guns very well. Don't hit targets. Yeah. You got it.

Storm troopers. You're working with it well, though. But isn't technically Storms a star? You know, the Sun's a star. Is storms a star? That's a great question. Is a storm a star? Is a storm?

Yeah. Like if you go on technical. Ask the big questions you get. Storm is a star. Aren't we all made a stars technically? At the end of the day. Exactly. So what is a storm apart from just star?

Yeah. Yeah, that's actually true. So we can just call anything a star from now and it would be technically correct. Actually fine. Can't wait to go on. Who wants to be a millionaire again? Lock it in star. But yeah, but every time you're correct.

After you get the answer wrong, you go, well, I guess we all are technically. Stars, aren't we? What? Eddie has to keep going. going upstairs to the gym. No, no, he has got us again. I know you'd have to lock in ABC or D, but he said star. You know what?

This loophole's always been here. He's all over his eyes. Now we got it. 25 year loophole. He's finally got us. So only one person hit the bear. Enraged by the bullet, the bear fled and the party searched the area. And unfortunately, they found the partially eaten body of Maiu.

It had been buried in the snows of the bear could come back and eat more of it later. So this is a bloodthirsty bear. Or just a hungry bear. Just a hungry bear. Yeah. And it's not killing, killing to eat. Killing to eat, yeah, that's right. Which is interesting, it's interesting to know that.

Oh, you think he was out for revenge. Yeah. Oh, right. No, it is. So the village's biggest fear was that the bear had a taste for human flesh now and it would return. And it's interesting to note that most of the diet of an etso bear is actually vegetarian. Oh, really? They do eat meat like fish and small mammals and sometimes even insects from time to time,

but they're also happy eating berries and grass shoots, scummy bears. That's one we didn't mention. before. Bouncing here and there and everywhere. There, then I'm a busy, I don't compare. They are the gum. You don't know, never watch gummy bears? No, I never watched gummy bears.

It sounds like a hot track, though. Classic Disney cartoon. Is a gummy bear a type of grizzly bear? Yes. That's the big three. The big three. The big three. The podiac. The polar bear and the gummy.

The three biggest. Honestly, I'm sure the biggest gummy bear would be bigger than the biggest polar bear. Yeah, I think so. I'd say polar bears are famously white, gummy bears are famously sort of rubbery. Put on a rubbery. Yeah, you can eat them. Juby?

They're very juby. I think they might be the jubious bear. Softest, they're very softest, aren't they? I'm jubious about that fact. That's a jubious fact. So, because of their size, they can kill any other animal in their habitat. Wow. But often they will eat a lot of vegetarian diet.

The only thing that gives them a run for their money in this part of the world, is the Siberian tiger. There are reports of both species fighting and killing each other, which is pretty wild to imagine. Big bear versus big tiger. It's our brand bears that exceed 300 kilos are reported to be invulnerable to attack spy Siberian tigers because they're just so big. And this bear that just attacked and killed two people is very much in that category.

It's a big one, 380 kilos or 840 pounds. Holy how. And when it stands on its hind legs, it's 2.7 meters tall. Oh my God. It's a nine footer. Yeah. 30 people don't enough. That's what I said.

It could dunk. Sign up for Memphis. Oh my gosh. They're the Grizzlies. Oh, they're the Grizzlies. That's actually great stuff. I didn't know that. But the Grizzlies used to be.

Where they used to be? One of the Canadian cities. Vancouver? Yeah, because I had the basketball growing up and then they moved. You had the basketball. Like, sorry, you know, the teams themed. My sister got the Lakers ball. I got the, the Grizzlies.

Okay. How cool. You still dunk it? So I'm still an OG. Grizzler, even though I can't remember the name of the old city. My boys were robbed at some point in their career. Not sure when, but my boys were robbed. My boys.

My boys. So the humans thought the bear would come back to the Oter Farm, so men gathered with guns and they waited. And their hunch was correct because at 8pm, the bear returned. Oh my God. Dave's just told us that this bear wouldn't... What did you call it? Insusceptible to tiger attacks?

Yeah, that's right. And they, I don't know if men with guns are going to do it. No, they need tigers with guns. Yeah. Tigers with guns. And over 30 as well. That's a number over 30, but they've all guns. Many tigers with guns.

Yeah. Well, I think we're fine. We're fine now. Like, tigers in a Voltron formation. Yes, that's good. Tigers for arms and legs. Hey, yep. That's good.

Is that, would it be able to survive that? I don't think so. A man. So one of the townspeople put his arms and legs up. Up the jacksies. Of the jacksies of four tigers. And so their mouths are out. Yeah.

Mouths for hands. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And he's just, he can't, would he, would the bear be able to survive that? Surely the bear would run away if you saw that. Yeah. Yeah. If he saw it.

He'd be embarrassed for them. Yeah. Getting the first arm, like probably your preferred hand in the first target. Yeah. That'd be hard. But imagine when you're non-preferred and then without hands doing your legs. Not your non-preferred.

I've probably done it in the wrong order. And then you've got to walk on the leg tug because you're walking on their heads. No, on their necks. You're sort of like, yeah. Walking on their necks. Well, because their teeth are like your toes. Oh, got it, got it. They've got to bend a bit.

Teeth are toes. You get it. Do you get it? Yeah, I get it. Yeah, I think. It's easy. Let's find out how this bear responds to Voltron. So despite being prepared for the bear to come back, It's done exactly what they predicted.

There was panic in the armed humans and only one was able to shoot at the bear before it again fled into the woods. They're like super prepared and also when the bear came. Yeah. Which is technically correct. So the armed mob gathered their courage, regrouped and went after into the forest. Meanwhile, at the nearby Mauki household, people of the village sheltered indoors with armed guards outside in case of the bear.

The guard heard that the bear had reappeared of the Ota house and they rushed off to join the hunt, leaving the house unprotected except for one bodyguard, a guy called Odo. Okay. Odo, oh no. Oh no. It sounds like this bear has like created a diversion. Yeah. It's like outsmarting them.

The lady of the house, Yayo, was preparing dinner whilst her son, Umikichi, was on her back, which is incredible multitasking. Yeah. Again from... That kid's cooking dinner and on her back. Leaning over. Really long spoon in the pot. Really tossing.

This is a human ratatooie. This is again from the wiki article. She heard a rumbling noise outside. This is the mum yo-yo. But before she could investigate, the bear broke through a window and entered the house. Oh, my God. Terrifying.

The cooking pot on the hearth overturned, dousing the flames, and in the ensuing panic, the oil lamp was extinguished, plunging the house into darkness. Oh my God. You're in a house with a killer bear and it's gone completely dark. How scary with that bit? That's really scary, but are you, are you, is that an advantage? You know, like how sometimes taking out the lights is like a tactical advantage.

Oh. Who sees better in the dark bears of human-marked bear? Unfortunately, this bear was prepared and had night vision goggles. Yeah. They always carried them. Just in touch. That makes me think that the bear's bad. The bear's probably the one that turned out the lights.

Yeah. Yeah, if it's got nine-ditching goggles. He didn't think of that, did you? No, I didn't think of that. Terrifying situation. That's how they get, yeah, yeah. Back to Wiki. But there is a bodyguard or there's an armed man just outside.

Owner? Odo. Odo. Odo's there. Yeah. Owner's the old coffee shop that used to be in here. She was a studio. Yeah, that's a good reference.

Thanks. Yeah, that's a good reference. I've chosen that one to draw a liner. Yeah, normal get. that reference. Sorry, man, I'm on the snoo's control over here. You're in as soon as control. Wake up, wake up. That's a good reference. No, with the third week of the comedy, we'll wake up.

Can't you half an hour ago when you were talking about, uh, Makita. Yeah, do we, do we, we edit that out? No, that was a good bit. I like that one. 15 minutes of Macita. Keep that one in age. So back to Wiki. Yayo, is the mother, tried to flee the house. But her second son, Eihiro clung to her legs, tripping her as she ran.

Oh, God. The bear attacked her and bit Umakichi, the boy on her back. No. Her son. Odo, the bodyguard on duty, ran for the front door. And this distracted the bear who went after him. The first half of the sentence, I'm like, Odo just ran away, but he's actually creating a diversion.

Clever. So the bear went after him releasing Yago and her son who were able to escape. The bodyguard, Odo, attempted to hide behind furniture, but was clawed in the back. Oh, no. He was severely injured, but survived. Whoa. Is it huge.

Do you get any shots off? No shots, but he did get to hide behind the furniture. Okay. That's pretty, that's still good. And he had a gun. He had a gun. I reckon I would have just, I mean, it's so funny to be like, this is what I would have done. You would have shot it.

In the pitch black with a bear running at you. Oh, pitch black, yeah, I'd forgotten about the pitch back. A bear running at you. I'll just find shots. Because I remember before they had like 30 guards and only one of them was able to shoot it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like super, super fast bear. Super fast. One of the fasts.

Super big. And this is a gummy bear? Is that what you said? Yeah. It's a gummy bear. It's a gummy. So the bear then went on a rampage. And because remember, the house is full of people who are hiding from this bear.

And unfortunately, the bear has found them. It started attacking others inside the house, killing two more children and a woman. Oh, God. And injuring many other people. It's gone wild. Geez, it sounds like bloody Billy Zane, this guy in Titanic. Oh, in Titanic, sorry. Billy Zane.

The Phantom. The actor. No, yeah, I just, yeah, I probably need to give more context there. But he just doesn't, he's going on to leave it. I think he's going on to leave it. Sounds like Billy Zane. Like when Billy Zane went out of a round. rampage and killed multiple people.

It's not just saying. It's like Tom Hanks. What? I don't like reference. It's like Tom Hanks and big because it's got a big bear. It's exactly like Tom Hanks. That's a good reference. It's one of the greats.

So the mob of guards who thought they were on the trail of the bear realized that it had alluded them. They'd race back to the settlement and a seriously injured, but surviving Yaiyo met them and related news of the attack at the Miyuki family's house. The mob ran for the house and found it dark. but could hear the bear still inside. Making dinner. He's finishing off the dinner.

He's like, I don't want to go to waste. Putting the pot back on. Yeah. Light and a fire. They assumed everybody else was dead. So one person floated the idea of, let's just set fire to the house. Oh, wow.

Yago, the mother, had more sense and reasoned that it was very possible that children were still alive in there in hiding and forbade the arson. So it was decided that the armed men would split into two groups and try to drive out the bear. Holy hell. Half went out at the back door, half stayed out the front with their guns. Who was on the roof?

No one's covering the roof. That would be my first thing. I'll be on the roof. Also, no one's on the basement. No one's underneath the house. What year was this again? 1915. Okay, yeah, that's right.

You did say that. In Ireland. I just, yeah. I'm just trying to, you know, a bit of separation always makes you feel. I prefer more than 110 years, but that's pretty good. Yeah. 110. I prefer more than that.

You know, if you were telling the story, this was, yeah, this happened three and a half thousand years ago. I'd be like, all right. What, you're connected? You're more connected to it or less connected to it? Less. All right. I feel, I'm like, okay, these people would probably be dead now anyway. Yeah, probably.

That's good. But 915, who knows? Actually, who knows? I think some of the oldest people ever are Japanese. Oh, yeah. Yeah, famously. They survived this. They could survive anything.

Thank you for saying then. Let's find out. So, beautiful. Half out front, half out. half out back. Guns locked and loaded, trained on the front door, train on the back door. One bear. One bear. That almost doesn't sound like a fair fight. Yeah, it doesn't, does not. Now I'm nervous. Now I'm nervous. Let's get 30 men. So the group out back made a lot of noise in the rear, hoping to frighten the bear out the front. They were farting. Hey, that's some good stuff.

Great reference. Do you guys have had break? Put one in there. Great reference to farting. Yeah. Hey, we've hold on that. I don't know you'd reference farting in this show. That's great stuff, man. So a bit of noise from the rear. That's... That's some good stuff. And AJ, please, I don't know that. That's podcasting.

And you click that up and send it to me. I'm overruling. We love that. Love that stuff. So they made a bunch of noise. It worked and the bear soon appeared out front. But in a comedy of errors, the men who were set up in a position

where they risked killing each other with crossfire and in the confusion, not a single shot was fired as the bear walked out the front door and just fled into the night. Oh my God. What is. going on. They had him. But he could have got him. What was it going on the roof to him? Not a goddamn thing.

Not enough on the roof. Snapper on the roof could have got him. Some of the roof fell asleep. Holy hell. God damn it. So, Miyuki Yasutaro was the husband of Yago, the woman who was cooking whilst attacked. He had heard of a local man named Yamamoto Haikichi, who was an expert bear hunter. Of course. Whoa. Okay. All right, maybe this is Jason save them. Yeah. On the bear catcher. That's a really good impression. Thank you so much. Hi Kitchie was reported to have killed over 300 bears in his lifetime. He was considered the best shot in the whole Sawyer province and was nicknamed the Sword of Sawyer. Oh, Tom Sawyer.

Tom Sawyer. That's a good reference. I'm the sword of Tom Sawyer. By the sword of Tom Sawyer. Before you go and stab a bear air. And you know what? I didn't laugh about that. No.

I'm not laughing about this sort of stuff. I'm just saying that if you're going to stab a bear, it better be by the sword, sword, by the sword or torn swale. That's my New York City accent. Yeah, yeah. Accent. Just trying to cater for everybody. Yeah, I think that's great.

Yeah. It's been said that he was such a good shot. He could kill a Japanese woodpecker and a Japanese squirrel with a single bullet. Well, okay. I can, I could too, depending on where they were. I think we could all kill a squirrel, mate. Yeah. And we all had.

We hired you to kill a bear. I can. I can't. I can't. I can't have a bear to start on a name. I've killed dozens of squirrels. Killed a bee yesterday. Didn't ever think about it.

Not big little than me. If you taped all the squirrels I'd killed together, that would equal two bears. Okay. Okay. But a very accurate shot. He's like the anti-star spaceship trooper. Yeah. That's right.

That's true. Aren't they all technically? Yeah. When the Russo-Japanese war broke out, he was 46 years old, joined the army, and after the war, he carried a Russian maid, bolt action rifle on a daily basis, and also kept his trademark military cap that he wore everywhere. That was the war that Japanese fought with René Russo for anyone who wasn't sure, the historical context. Who won? I'm afraid Russo came out on top.

Every time. Yeah, that's why Japan made some bad decisions going in the Second World War. They were still hurting. You're pretty learned. Yeah, yeah. It's actually pronounced learned. Thank you for saying that. I'm learning too.

So just before being called up to help with the Sanctubetsu bear, this is Hakichi. He had had another bear-related incident. In the spring of that year, 1915, he had found a brown bear's hibernation hole entering the National Forest in Contabetsu. In an attempt to drive a stake through the top to break into the enclosure,

he slipped inside and the bear attacked him. He hugged its chest and yet, yelled to his comrades at the entrance to shoot, but they ran away, and then the bear also ran. It was reportedly... He just wanted to be one of the guys. Yeah. Let's run, boys. Where we're going?

Where we're going to? We're going to the pub? Fun run, let's go. Fresh hands on me. See, guys. Hikichi was reportedly most upset and disappointed by this moment. Yeah, I think so. Of course.

Didn't talk to them over again. Yeah. Or the bear. I also read somewhere there was a rumor that he killed a bear with a sword. A Tom Sawyer Sword Say it properly Tom Sawyer

Tom Sawyer Swat Yeah yeah That's really good Thank you So with all the trouble and violence That the bear in Sanctu Was causing

A visit was paid to Yamamoto Hakiichi Sawyer sword What a reason? The Jason Statham The Jason Statham When he heard the news Hakichi was certain That the bear

That was terrorising them Was the dreaded man eater That he nicknamed Kessoneman or the diagonal slash from the shoulder, named because of a white pattern that he possessed from the back to the chest. He had a nickname for this bear. Wow, he knew this bear.

He knew this bear. He already wanted to bring this one down. So he goes, I'll do it for free. Don't worry about it. Unfortunately, as well as a bear slaying badass, Yamamoto Haikichi was a big drinker and he had just pawned his gun to pay his debts and he was unable to help. Oh, no. We'll give you a gun. No, no, no.

No, no. I'm good. So they were like, okay. But this feels like if this is a movie, this is classic. You know, it's like Sean Connery at the start of a league of extraordinary gentlemen, a reference we would all understand. We all understand that. You know, the grizzled, you've got to go find this legend, he's grizzled, he's retired.

He doesn't do that shit anymore. Yeah, like John Connery at the start of the rock. Yeah, yeah. Sean Connery probably in the last of his old man Bond. Did he do that? Never say never again. Well, he's back. Just killing squirrels in a park.

You are exactly right. That is this guy's path as well. I'd love to help, man, but I'm, you know, I'm hung over. Go find someone else. Yeah. You can imagine like Nicholas Cage is playing these roles now. Yeah. That is like such a movie cliche.

I love that it's actually happened once in real life. Yeah, like someone finds it. Just one time. Yeah, the least once. A kid finds him drinking in a bar. Come on, mystery, you're the only one can help us. Hey, kid. That's not me anymore.

Yeah, I'm not that guy. Yeah, I'm not that guy. I don't even got my Tom Suisse. What? I sold it for this bottle of bourbon And you know, the bourbon It's just finished And he's just throw the bottle on the ground

Yeah, yeah Something about the bourbon is It never lets me down Now beat it Be it! Be it! He's screaming So without their main man On the following day,

December 11, a group of men Was formed to kill the bear They decided to wait for it At the Miyuki farm Believing it would reappear Possibly to retrieve the bodies to eat The men waited But the bear did not show

The next day That's disrespectful Come on We had a day Come on Yeah I mean you never agreed to it But you never said no

The next day The news of the attacks It spread to the Hokkaido Government office And a crack team Was put together To deal with the bear Consisting of police officers

Snipers And volunteers Most dreaded of all Hey yeah If it was a A team of ducks They'd call it a quack team That's really good

We're at We're the volunteers' ducks Dave, answer the question. I actually didn't come across any information saying yes or no. I also said, I could shoot a duck. Yeah? Yeah. Bloody hell.

Just I'm impressed you guys. They're impressed or not really. After this, you're just going to run out and I'll run with you. That's how you finish every podcast now. Run with a bear. Let's Google it. Now, was anyone a duck? Was anyone a duck?

Because then you can use the jug. No. Okay. And we'll let it in. We'll let it in. In post. Yeah. Put that in post.

Okay. Don't put it in now, we put in place. Quack team, yeah. Not quack. Yeah. If, uh, if, uh, if, if, uh, if, uh, the volunteers, uh, big buffalo could call it a yak team. I liked mine better, but I like that as well. Write both down, Siri.

And we'll, we'll work out the best one after. Let chat to anybody. Work out the best one. Uh, if, uh, what else you got? If, uh, if, uh, they were made up of boxes of barbecue shapes, it could be a snack team. I really like mine the best. I'm going to be honest. I really like mine the best.

Another type of biscuit, it was a Jets team. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good. That's good. A crack, crack a cracker team. Oh, that's good. If they all were turned around, there would be a back team. And if they drop the pants, it would be a crack team. Another crack, but different type of crack.

Okay. That's a good one too. Yeah, no, I think we'll add it all. Let's stick with mine. No, no, we'll edit out. Samuys as well. No. Because there was no, there was no reference to duck.

So, you were cheating. You cheated in your, you're gay. Yeah. You bet to me. You can't do that. You can't do that. Rules of rules. You can't just say, oh, if they were ducks, geez.

You can't say that. We don't do that on this show. I don't know what you do on your show, but we don't do that here. We don't do that here. So the crack slash quack slash yak team was given permission from the authorities to undertake the mission. And they're basically, they're given like, shoot to kill orders. Go after this thing.

Sort it out. Save the people. They were, the volunteers were pairs of trains. brows as they'd be the slack team. Let's just stick with mine. Let's just stick with mine. You start at perfection and then you just can't come back.

Sometimes you don't know what's perfect until you try a bunch out. You try and go no- He nailed it to first go. What are the odds of that? Anything else is awful. News.com.com. It was decided that the bear would most

probably try to retrieve the bodies of those that had killed, but there were no remains in the Miyuko family house. Therefore, a new plan was proposed. To attempt to lure out of the bear with a corpse of a victim. The plan was widely condemned, but it was decided that for the future of the village, it was the best plan.

So they got one of the savage bodies and we're just sort of leaving it there. How awful. Awful stuff. The survivors were like, this is pretty gross. But then everyone decided, I guess, for our future safety, we've got to do what we need to. So they put the plan into action with the six-man sniper team waiting inside the house for the return of the bear. Should have someone on the room.

Always had someone on the roof. Always. Always. I'd almost have everyone on the roof. Yeah. Yeah. to mock the people he was tormenting, it was discovered. He stuck your tongue out.

Yeah. Ah. Up yours. Up yours. Jog on. Jog on. If someone was on the roof, a sniper. Could have got it. Would have got it.

You're right. It stopped, propped. It was there. Yeah. It did a little look like, huh? Huh? The bear was like, something doesn't feel right. Although this house has made a straw, could it not support a, like a, like a...

Oh, maybe you're someone on top with their gun. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. So it's gone back into the forest. Then as if to mock the people he was tormenting, it was discovered that the Ota family home, where the bear had first attacked and killed two people,

had again been raided by the bear. It's a smart bear. Yeah. Not your average bear. Not your average bear. Because it knew, the hunters were like waiting for it in another place. So the bear had gone back there and eaten the people's winter food stockpile, ransacked the house.

Fortunately, no one was home. In fact, the bear had damaged at least eight houses. But so far, no one could find it. Matt, knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum.

Sammy, you can't say that. You can't say that? I'm a lot of edge lord. Yeah, okay. You say you're the bad boy of comedy, but I'm an edge lord myself. I've all got stuff going on, Matt. So they can't find the bear. Oh, why don't we nickname it the clip?

That's probably what Sam had called it. Can't find it. Yeah, that's the G-spot. That's edge. Now that's the edge. Now that's edge. That's like the edge of a sword of the swiss ward. Swet swore.

I think when AJ's finished editing this episode, there will be very little left. We've been recording for six hours, so check your pot app. Oh dear. We've cut out a bit. Dave rarely looks annoyed by bad riffs, but we're getting at that point today. I'm loving it. He's loving. He's having a great thumb. He's always having a good tongue.

Look at his face, Sammy. Come on. Is he selling this? We had quack team. We had jog on. I repeated that. I like this. That was a callback.

I got both Sammies. Yeah. Well, I don't want to edit anything. The bear bum's pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty offensive. Then what you came back with Matt?

That was full on. The clitoris thing. Take a good look at yourself. That was full on. Yeah, it was full on. So no one can find this bear. Love this line from Wiki. The police captain, Suga, motivated the men by cheering from the village outside.

Yeah, go find. That's... I'm feeling motivated from here. Yeah, absolutely. The militia vying for the destruction of the killer bear now numbered 60 armed men. Is that enough? That's great.

Yeah, yeah, double it. Double it. Always double it. Think of a number, double it. No, double it. Add six. Always. So 60.

60. You not do that? Was this your card? Was this your card? No. Think of a number. 27. I didn't choose a card.

Damn, I'd always get that wrong. Yet, they couldn't get to him. They couldn't find him. That night, a sniper thought he saw something in the shadows of the tree stumps on the opposite shore. It's a squirrel. Shot in the head. Receiving this information,

police captain Suga thought it might be a man's shadow. When he spoke to it, however, he received no reply. Not sure if shadows usually reply to this guy. What's going on here? It's hard for shadows to reply. Hey, what are you up to?

No response. You there, shadow. I'm talking to you. This shadow's a prick. Nah, come on. Come on, Shadow. So he was surprised when he got no response. and he ordered the snipers to open fire.

At that moment, the shadow, apparently that of the bear, disappeared into the forest. That's why I didn't reply as well because it's a bear. Good talk. No, it doesn't speak Japanese. Not that evolved.

It seemed that they were dealing with a cunning bear. These men knew they were in way over their heads. They knew they had only one hope. They had to get someone to come out of retirement. Oh, my God. The old sort of soire himself,

bear hunter extraordinaire. Sort of soya. He doesn't do that anymore. Yamamoto. Hikichi. Oh my God. He doesn't do that anymore. I'm not that guy anymore.

No, I'm not that guy. I've changed. I can't be the guy you need me to be. He decided to accept the challenge. His wife left him because he was so obsessed with catching his bear. This is one bear. This bear cost me everything. He's changing it.

I can't go back. He stepped up for his most dangerous mission yet. I'm not sure if they bought him his gun back after he sold off a booze. I don't know how he got a gun. He doesn't need one because I've got my bare hands. I have not bear hands. Matt, do you like that? That's really good.

Yeah, I thought that was really good. David Leichmann, who wrote a thesis on these attacks in 2020, describes Hikichi and what made him different to the other bear hunters. This is a quote. His use of an ancient canine breed, his adherence to an elder cursorial tracking methodology, his clothing and tools connected him to centuries of what had been. So he was old school, but he's good, he's good, God damn it.

He's got results. Some people never did. change their ways. Like Grubsy. It's a reference from before the podcast. Yeah, that's right. But sometimes you don't need to change your ways. Sometimes you don't need to change your ways.

Just do the same thing every time. Don't break it if it ain't fixed. Don't broke it if it ain't fixed. That's what we always say. No, I like that one. Don't broke it if it ain't fixed. Hey, don't broke it if it ain't fixed. Yeah.

Something Dave said for a one side. That's why. Enough said. That's why. That's why she's the best. You don't need a double break it. Don't broke it. Don't break it.

Come on, God. It's already broken. Yeah. It's already broken. Don't bother fixing it. Don't waste him out by his down. Don't wasting your energy on it. It's already broken.

We already busted it. Don't fix. Yeah. So, he's in. Hakechi's in. They've got their main man. He was discovered that the last place where the bear had been spotted before disappearing into the forest, there was some blood.

The snipers had evidently done better than expected. One of them had hit the bear. Keseigake, which is the nickname of the bear, was wounded. And with a snowstorm threatening to erupt at any moment, and obscure the tracks he'd left, it was decided that now was the perfect time to close in. Just like that,

what's that film, the Leonardo Caprae one where he's fighting a bear? Titanic? Yeah, it's like Revenant. Yeah, it's like Revenant. Yeah. It's one man, it's one bear.

Versus bear. Man versus bear. Bear grills. He's out there, he's looking for things. He's drinking his own piss. Yeah. That's why they can't catch up with him. It was Bear Grills.

Never fight Bear Grills. It's a show was called Man versus Bear. Yeah. And that's where... Oh, man versus wild, wasn't it? It's man versus war. Yeah. Man versus bear.

It's so good, but it's a man fighting bear grills. Man versus food. That's a man fighting food. That's a man fighting food. Yeah, man versus bear. That's a man trying to eat bear grills. Man versus bear. It was Hannibal Lecter versus bed grills.

That's, that'd be. No, that's a show. Now that's a show. Now that's a show. Now, that's a show. Now that's a show. That's a show. That's a podcast.

Right down. Right down. Run and tell it. Run and tell it. Hi Kitchy chose not to work with a big group of hunters who had failed to find the bear. And instead, and instead worked, I wish I could say a line because that sounds even more badass, but with only one of the guy.

That'll be a whole scene in the film. I don't need a partner. I don't need a partner. I'm not here to babysit. Yeah. He worked with a guide called Akita Camahiro. Oh, hero by name. He said,

Camar hero. And with only two, they were able to move and track much more nimbly than with the group, but the bumbling group of 60 that couldn't find it. I want to go back to 30. Yeah. I changed my life. I'm bringing down the two. I'm taking these two.

You can have 30 of any 30 you like of the 60. We're gone for a roof. I'm taking these two. So Yamamoto Hakichi was familiar with this bear's behavior and was able to track him, spotting the bear, resting near a Japanese oak tree. Approaching to within 20 metres of the bear, he opened twice. You know, in Japan, they just called an oak tree. Huh.

I should have said he opened fire twice. He opens twice. I was like, I missed it. Was he carrying a couple of jails? Yeah. He opened fire twice in the bear. And sadly, all good things. And yes, also some terrible things must come to an end.

Whoa, he just did it straight away. And his first shot hit the bear's heart, the second hit its head. That is ridiculous. And he just shot a squirrel in the back for fun. 60 people couldn't do it. And he goes, there it is. It's over. Fatally wounded the animal.

Wow. I'm afraid to say, for the bear's sake. Yeah. I mean, there's no, like, it's not the bear's fault. It's one of those sad things. Sad things, beautiful big animals. Beautiful big animal.

You know, if it was a squirrel creating habit, happy for him to be killed. But a big beautiful animal now. Sexy. Matt's obsessed with this bear. Yeah. That's sexy.

What a grim story, but that is quite an amazing, just so efficient. It's so wild that took that many attempts as well and so many injured people. And it kept coming back. It killed somebody else. It was taunting them.

And they, yeah, they just had to give him a gun the first time they spoke to him. Yeah. Yeah. but he said, Let me alone.

Yeah. Leave me alone. Oh, the bear. Got my tom, swat, so, I thought. So, so, so, so, so. So, so. And then, like, in that first scene, there would have been, like,

two kids and one would have said to the other. Come along, Joey. This guy ain't who I thought he was. Yeah. Yeah. It ain't him. It ain't him anymore. So the bear now killed was measured,

found to be massive. According to the Guardian, it was 8.85 feet, 270 centimeters tall, weighed in. 750 pounds or 340 kilos. An autopsy was performed, and parts of his human and victims were found in his stomach, proving that this was definitely the bear that had terrorized the village and just killed a bear.

I don't have they just did an autopsy or if they had to do an oobotomy as well. Yeah, I think, yeah, they really abbreviate it, don't they? Yeah, in this autopsy, turvy world. Sorry, that was a bad, high five. Thank you. I don't know if you usually high five. We always do. It's a fun thing to do.

I'm glad we finally got to one there. Yeah. Well, yeah, I had to get before the end. Yeah, yeah. In total, seven people were killed making it the most deadly animal attack in the history of Japan. Oh, my God. Some people started to think that the bear was a yokai, which are a class of supernatural entities and spirits in Japanese folklore. Because there are bear attacks, but they don't usually keep coming back and keep terrorizing and outsmarting humans.

Yeah. So they're like, this bears, you know, on another level. It's rumored that as retribution, the village is dismantled boy. and ate the body of the bear as revenge for the victims who had been devoured. Soon after the bear was killed, a huge storm hit the area, which the locals called the Brown Bear Storm. My God. I had revenge with a hungry jacksburger the other night.

Yeah, severe revenge. Took it out? Yeah, took it out. No survivors? No survivors. I took no prisoners. And what about our sword of Sawyer, the hero of the piece, Hikichi. Well, the mayor of Sankey Betzu, a guy called Yosekichi Okawa,

tried to hand him money collected from the villagers. He got angry and fired his gun into the roof saying, I don't want your money. That's a weird response. Yeah. It's very strange. I think you could say those words without shooting a gun. Yeah.

Also, think about how much alcohol he could have bought with that. Yeah, that's right. I wonder if he accidentally shot the gun and then he had to cover it up by saying, I don't want your money. And he's like, shit, I really wanted that money. I really wanted that money. I needed that cash. I can't get away with this anymore.

Yeah. That was a bad instinct. You should have, he could have covered up by going, yeah, that makes me so excited. That's how I celebrate. Yeah, I'd love that money. Just firing off like six times. Yeah, you got to just keep firing. Keep firing.

Yeah. I guess we've got to do more. Six gun shot salute for the victims. Oh, there was seven. Okay, give me a gun. Give me a gun. Give me seven. Soon after the tragedy of the attacks, many locals abandoned the village in the area and it

became somewhat of ghost town for a long time. I do have some good news, however. Yario, who was cooking at the time of the attack and received head wound. made a full recovery. Oh, good. Awesome. So there were many survivors. But it wasn't over.

Not for everyone. At the time of the attacks, a man called Okawa Harrioshi was six years old. And he was the son of the village mayor that I mentioned before. And as a six-year-old, he swore an oath to kill 10 bears for every victim of the attack. It's a weird oath. That is, yeah. So all the bears that had nothing to do with it? he's going to get him.

He's going to get him. Don't worry about it. I'll get him. Eye for an eye. Yeah, you know what that bear did. And they're like, I don't even know. Yeah, I don't think you should do that. We are pretty solitary animals.

Yeah. We come together to mate and then we go our separate ways. I don't know who you're talking about. He actually received mentoring by the, uh, Jason Satham guy. Hi Kitchie. And by the time he reached the age of 62. He'd killed 102 bears. Holy how?

So he killed way more than. You've overshot it, mate. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't need to do that. He killed too many. He killed too many. Is that when you get too many laughs in the show?

Yeah, I'm like, whoa. Oh, we do that. Whoa, well, go and settle down for a second. Sometimes I get to finish the show half an hour early because I've hit the laugh quota. Keep my quota. I got 10. I got 10 laughs in an hour. Got my 10.

Yeah, got my 10. Sometimes, yeah, if I get 10 in the first 45, first half a. First half a half. Have you ever, even got nine in the first five minutes and then you're just like, well, I'm going to drag this out. I got too many. Yeah, one laugh every six minutes. I think it's about right. He wanted to say laugh for a minute and you're like,

that is such a long time for one laugh. Like one laugh per minute. For sure. I laugh 60 times. In the Rockuz and Sawa district where the attack occurred, there is now a shrine, which has the incredibly catchy English translation as Sankeh Betzu Brown Bear Incident Reconstruction location.

Oh, that is good. The shrine located in a small clearing near the Sankewetzu River includes a restored house typical of the area and a signboard explaining the incident. There's also a large statue of a brown bear outside the house. I found a few articles and blog posts of people documenting their visit to the shrine. One titled, site of the worst bear attack in Japanese history is a chilling place to visit.

And online reviews for the reconstructed site include comments like, I couldn't visit it alone. It's too creepy and I was too scared to leave the car. So if you want to get a spooky place, this is... Yeah, didn't even go here. Sauru News 24 News website writes, These comments aren't exaggerating things, as the official website for the town even warns visitors that it's not well lit, even in the daytime. There's no mobile phone service in the area, and brown bears may appear.

It says, please refrain from visiting at night because it's dangerous. That scares you, that spooks here. And the photos I've seen, it does look like a fairly bad badbathed sword's exhibit of a bear breaking through a straw wall and figures of some people looking freaked out. But I guess if you're thinking that a real bear could appear at any moment in a remote location. Even in Madame Tissor's, I'd be very scared. Yeah, oh my gosh, that's the scariest place on earth. You're in London, Madame Tisors. Oh, my gosh, you've got Prince William standing next to Mother Teresa.

What's going on here? I think it's weird. I think it's like an uncanny valley, like, bad Madame Tissors is why spooky as an accurate an accurate looking. Not than the real thing. I think a real bear would be scary. Sorry, I was thinking of the real Mother Teresa. Then a wax figure.

A wax figure is scary than the real Mother Tresorzer. Yeah. Agreed. But did I mention you have to get there by driving on Bear Road? No, not a Bear Road. As in Unsealed or as in that's the name of it? No, that's the name of it. But it might be unsealed as well.

Jesus. Jesus. So maybe you would freak out. Jesus. Jesus. The story of the Sankewetsu Brand Bear attacks is still famous and fascinates people, especially in Japan as the incident went on to inspire novels, manga, documentaries, plays, and the 1990 film Yellow Fangs.

directed by Sonny Chiba. Real bears were used in many scenes. In order to create a tent scene where they confront the bear, the actors were filmed inside of a cage made of two layers of 20mm thick bulletproof glass that could get right up close to the bear. Oh, hell, yeah. Oh, my God.

And this film currently sits 6.2 on IMDB, so not bad. Not bad, 6.2, that's a pass. It's pretty good. How's the interview artist tracking on there? It's got a 6.3. Oh, right. Even better. So don't waste your time with yellow fangs.

Yeah. Watch an old channel 31 show. That's not available on anything anymore. But make sure you watch it. Always subscribe. Like, comment, subscribe. I think the underground scene probably... They know.

Yeah. The underground community TV scene. It's huge. And despite this story taking place over a century ago, it is still frequently referenced in the Japanese media as bear attacks appear to be on the rise in Japan. In 2016, bear sightings increased and people in the northern part of the country

were warned to stay away from mountain forest after four people were killed in a spade of bear attacks. And it was back in the news in mid-2020 bear attacks on people in the 12 months leading up to March of that year, including six fatalities. Oh my God. So they still have to be very careful out there. That's the highest number of incidents and records since,

sorry, and sightings since records began in 2006. It's like all these stories make me think, you know, people, Australia has this reputation for some reason of being really dangerous. Really dangerous place, yeah. I never feel unsafe camping anyway. No, no. I never think about man-eaters coming to get you at any point.

Spiders and snakes and stuff, but you're bigger than them. Yeah, you're bigger, you can get them. But not a bear. It's terrifying. Yeah, they're, oh my God, arseys, you got so many little creepy, cry of spiders. Yeah. They're not going to get in. They're not going to get in.

I'd shoot him if it is. And, like, like, saltwater crocodiles are pretty scary, but I'm not camping. I'm not camping. Yeah, not camping on the, you know, on the Northern Territory. rivers. Yeah. I wouldn't. Yeah, and you shouldn't.

No, actually. That's a note. That goes for everyone. Just to finish, because we don't have bears in Australia, I often wondered if the rhyme, I said at the start of the report, if it's brown lie down, if it's black fireback. Have you heard that before? No, I haven't.

I like it. Yellow. It's yellow, let it mellow. It was tangy and brown. You're inside of town. Now, clear in yellow. You got juice there, fella. So to finish, I looked it up, and according to the US National Park Service,

here's what to do in the event of a bear attack, which is very useful information for us. Yep. Of course. It says you've got to be careful to make sure if a bear's coming at you. Whether it's a bluff charge or an aggressive charge. Now, a bluff charge, that's meant to scare or intimidate and are more common than aggressive charges. The bear will pull itself up to look bigger and it will bound on its paws towards you, but then stop short or veer off to one side.

Often bears retreat after a bluff charge or they may vocalize loudly. So if that's happening, you sort of let it go. You what do you mean by let it go? You just do you run or do you walk? I should run or walk away? I'll read the point. I shouldn't be riffing this bit. If you see a bluff charge is about to happen,

slowly back away or waving your arms above your head and speak to the bear in a calm voice. When the bear charges you. Hey there, fellow. Hey. Hey, brother. Hey, brother. What's good on, brother?

Hey, good. See you. Brother. I'm going to back off for me, brother. I'm going to back off now, brother. When the bear charges you, hold your ground and stay calm. After the bear charges, slowly retreat while keeping an eye on the bear. Let the bear know that you're human and that you aren't a threat.

And they understand that? Yeah. You say, hey, I'm only human. We all make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Sorry, bear. I didn't need to cross you like this. And now here's a song from the Human League.

Continuing to speak in a calm voice and make it clear that you are a human. That's what it says you. Make it clear. You're not a threat. Do not run during a bluff charge. It may trigger the bear to attack. Stand your ground. Be ready for the bear to make contact in case the,

the charge is not a bluff charge in case they're bluffing about the bluff. And how do you ready yourself for something like that? You got to really understand the bear. You have to know the bear. It does say, know how to protect and defend yourself in case the bear turns aggressive. Brilliant. Punch of the guts? Yeah.

One swift punch of the guts. Here's what to do if it's an aggressive charge. It says, aggressive charges are very dangerous. Bears may yawn or clack their teeth and pound their front paws on the ground whilst huffing. These are warning signs. These behaviours indicate that a bear is stressed and it may be getting ready to charge. It will have its head down and ears pointed back and the bear will come at you like a freight train.

Be prepared to protect and defend yourself. And this is the difference. Here we get to the rhyme bit. If a black bear charges and attacks you, this is in capital letters. Fight back with everything you have. Okay. It says, do not play dead. Direct punches and kicks at the bear's face and use any weapons like rocks, branches or bear spray to defend.

yourself. Bear spray. It's like a bat spray? Yeah, I think so. From your Batman tool belt. It's a colone. Your utility belt. Yeah.

It's a nice one. Yeah, yeah. If it's, yeah, you've got to get the right one. So you're going to have a lynx Africa bear spray. I always do. You know that. If it's a lady bear, that'll really settle them down. Rave them up in different ways.

No, it'll rev them up. And, yeah, the other way, I can't think of a single perfume that is a cliched one. for women. Probably like a... Is everyone like a girlfriend or something? Yeah, probably like a girlfriend. Or something like a fearless by Geneleiano. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, geez. That's good stuff. You were good. I added out the video in between. If you want to get good gift ideas, let me know. Always fearless by Gina Leano. One of the real housewives of Melbourne. Yeah.

Shadow chemist warehouse discount. Bloody hell. Yeah, that's really good. So that's the black bear. Fight back with everything you have. Always. If a grizzly or a brown. bear charges and attacks you. This is in capitals.

Play dead. Oh. Do not fight back. Cover your neck and head with your hands and arms. Lay flat on your stomach and spread your legs apart. Keep your pack on. It will help protect you during an attack. If you don't have a pack, I don't know what you do. Stay still and don't make any noise. You're trying to convince the bear that you aren't a threat to it or it's cubs. Do not get up right away because the bear may still be in the area. Wait several minutes until you are sure the bear is gone. Oh my God. Fighting back. during an attack from a grizzly or brown bear were usually worse than the attack.

But if the attack persists, then fight back with everything you have. I'm not sure at what moment you call that. Yeah, just fight back. I imagine it's got to be around the time that your injuries are fatal. Yeah, I'm about to die. How long would that even take?

It feels like they would... Possibly seconds. Yeah. Probably seconds. Probably seconds. Just to say that. This is scary. They add on the website.

Do not try to climb a tree. You cannot outrun or out climb a bear. Of any color. Not even a gummy. Okay. Oh, no, a gummy. Maybe a gummy. Okay, that's good to know.

So I was really... Instinctively, I think that I can understand why people might do that. Just run away. Run up and try and climb a tree. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

You think a bear couldn't go. Yeah. I don't think of them as big tree. I think you're squirrel. Yeah, they're way quicker than you and that will just pull you down. And I was thinking, okay, that's good information. Yeah. It's great information.

It was brown and it's black. Yeah. But to add another spanner in the word. Telling the difference between a black and a brown bear is way more complicated than it sounds because they're not always exclusively brown or exclusively. Yeah, quite hard in the moment as well to get your color palette. Yeah, when you're panicking, yeah, hang on. Grizzly or brown bears often have a shoulder hump, whereas black bears do not.

That's a big giveaway. Oh, okay. They also have a slightly different, different face profiles and ear shapes. And grizzlies also have way longer claws, but I guess by the time you've seen that, it could be too late to make the choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, bear, could I just get you in profile for a second? Can I measure your ears?

Quick spin for me. Is there, are there many areas where black bears and brown bears like exist? Yeah, in North America apparently. Oh, right. So don't hike in North America. Which is why? No, yeah, never do that. Which is why I decided to take the Montana Fish Wildlife and Parks Bear Identification Test.

Of course you do. Because it's illegal in Montana to harm, harass or kill grizzly bears, except in the case of self-defense or the defense of others. Harass them. What about you're saying so he nasty to them? I think I learned that from Yellowstone. That happened in Yellowstone. They harassed a bear?

Well, they killed a bear. Oh. And then the, like, the animal cops came and they... Not the animal cops. Yeah. So, like, hang on. They're cops of actual animals. Was this self-defense?

And yeah. He had a gun. He had a gun. Had to shoot. Had to pull the trigger. I'm sorry. It was him or me. I had no choice.

It was him or me. So there's a genuine test, the Montana Fish Wildlife and Parks Bear Identification test. They show you photos of bears, and you have to say if it's a black bear or a grizzly. Yep. It says stuff like, this is a large Montana bear. Take your time to identify this bear, and remember, don't shoot unless you are absolutely sure it's not a grizzly bear. Is this a black bear?

And they show you about 20 of them. You need an 80% success rate to pass. And I'm happy to say, congratulations. It said you passed the bear identification test, received a score of 93.3%. They even sent me a certificate, which I would print and post this week. And I'll link to it in the show notes if you want to have a go. Oh, I want to have to go. Does that mean...

Here it is. This is my proof. This is great. Congratulations, Tate. That's huge. What does that get you? Did that get you a gun license? Yeah.

I think this will help you if you were going to go hunting in the area. It did ask me to type in some sort of number that I don't have. Okay. Because I am not in the area or going hunting. And you don't want to go hunting for a bear. But, um, but, um, I did have to put in a U.S. Postal Code, so of course I put in 902 or no. Yeah, always.

Always. But 93.3. The data would be so skewed from internationals. Just so many. 9.2.0. Just, I don't know how many people live in this. A lot of people doing bed tests. Yeah, 93.3.3.3. I was.

That's huge. I was really staked with that. Because at first, they're quite difficult to tell apart, but then you get the... You get the idea. You understand the face profile. Yeah, you get it. The hump. The ears. Do any of the photos, are any of them videos where it's rushing at you?

Like, where it would actually... Yeah, they're actually good to know if it was rushing at you and you can take a 4D experience. Yeah. You can feel the claws coming at you. Like, your seconds away from being slashed. Yeah. Or it should just flash on the screen for three seconds or something. Yeah.

No, it's, it's like this. Oh, yeah, that's easier. That's so brand. Yeah, that's a brand. But it's sometimes... One of the hump. It's a codier. Look at that hump.

Yeah, the hump. That's, see, he gets it. He was listening. Yeah. But you can see the cub there. It's got a black cub. Oh, what that. Adopted.

Maybe adopted. But, yeah. Mixed bear family. And it says, are these black bears? And I would say, no. Got to get pretty early to catch me out. So basically, that's the end of the report. I love that, David.

I thought that was wonderful. I loved it, David as well. So obviously, a pretty, a harrowing tale. Very violent. A lot of innocent people were killed by the bear. And then the bear itself was killed. So I'm afraid there's no real. really nice happy ending, except the fact that I got 93.3%.

Yeah, that's awesome. That's actually really cool. Do you think of the bear is innocent? Too proven guilty, yeah. I think that they had to take care of the bear because it was just going to keep coming back. Unfortunately, as society spread into that part of the world, the bears were probably there first. But was it guilty. Yes, it was guilty. It killed seven people.

It killed before and it would kill again. They had a full trial. Oh, yeah, I think, no, I agree. probably especially back then maybe now they'd be able to do someone else i don't know but like trap it and yeah i think they it's still a problem like i said in japan but they do have things like electric fences are put up yeah sure sure sure to keep them out of certain areas but i think there are still people who um i don't i think they're volunteers i don't think they get paid i saw an article of one guy who had been attacked in the 90s he lost an eye he's got this

scarring on his face that you can still clearly see and he's dedicated his life to culling bears that are too close to society. And he says, look, I've got no problem with the bears living where they are. But I know firsthand that they can be quite dangerous. And he's called for like we have in Australia because this is an ABC Australia article. Like we've got National Park Rangers. Yeah, yeah. In his part of the world in Japan, they don't have those.

And he was saying, I think this should be more of a professional thing. It shouldn't be up to me to volunteer. So. I don't want to protect people for the good. But also, I will say climate change is also leading to bears, needing to have less food, natural food sources. That's why they're coming into contact with society as well. So we are also to blame, as we always are.

Partly. Partly to blame. You're not talking. Are you going to talk about that? Are you part of the mind virus? Sorry, the mind virus. Mind virus is to blame. Wow.

Amazing story. Knew nothing of it, Dave. Thanks so much for bringing that. us today. And congratulations again about that huge score. That was actually incredible. Thank you so much, honestly. Because it doesn't tell you how you're going at the time. It's only at the end that you find out out of your past, you know? Dave, be honest, if you did badly, would you have brought the results into the podcast? I reckon it would have to be humorously badly. Yeah. But it was like 78. Just me in the middle. No way. Yeah. It's a bit of fun. And also the fact that it like it's,

you know, it's got the Montana bear logo on there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, this is going on my LinkedIn. When I get, when I get, when I get a LinkedIn, the big. Sky State. The Big Sky State. Which I think is one of the great. That's awesome. State mottoes or whatever that is. Yeah, that's just my opinion.

That's my opinion. Don't hold me to it. That's just my opinion. Great work, Dave. Should we... Oh, the official state animal of Montana is a grizzly bear. That's fitting. Oh, that is fitting.

I love that. Yeah, and you've got to respect that. Your official emblems, you don't kill them. Melbourne is the real hotel. Yes. Victoria has two final emblems, the helmeted honey eater and the lead beaters possum. Is that right? Yeah, learnt that in primary school.

You're a lot in Japanese. Hopefully it's still true. And Montana's unofficial nickname and its unofficial slogan is the last best place. The last best place. Oh, brilliant stuff. Victoria's on the road for the garden state. Huey Lewis has a property there, I believe. Really?

Let's visit. Yeah. I was gone to see Huey Lewis. And his man, Tanna Ranch, Reagan? Yeah, we'll drop him alone. Yeah, we'll drop him in line. Hey, Huey, we've got the news. We're coming over.

Did they think you'd love that? Did he'd never heard that before. He'd love that. Love that. All right. We're going to let everyone in on a little secret here. We're going to have a quick break for a tart. We'll be back after these tarts.

All right, we're back. We're back from the tarts. We are full of tart. We are full of tart. And Sammy, he loved his tart so much, he lives there now. Yeah, he decided to marry his tarts. Yeah.

No, he had to go. He had to go. He said we weren't meant to say, but he is still eating tarts. He's still eating tarts. We had to sit down. That was the problem. And they just kept bringing him over. And we have, yeah, we got another booking in after us.

So we had to get back here and finish this episode. We might go and pick him up on the way back. Dave, what were your tarts? Well, I had a regular Portuguese tart. Yes, I had one of those. Straight up. Then I had a pistast. Oh.

But my savory to start with was the chorizo. Three course of tarts. Absolutely. And you had? I had a mushroom tart, savory, had the classic. And I had an apple bisk off and walnut. Oh my gosh, what a combo. I feel like it's wild that we're allowed into an establishment that creates such dishes.

Yes. Really feels very fancy. Love it. All while hearing trams rattling down Sydney Road. My gosh. Yeah, is there anything better than that? There's nothing better, and it was so, so great. A rattle and a tart.

Oh, a rattle tat tart. A triptych of tart. And thank you again to the great man, Sammy Peterson for joining us. If you want to go see him live at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, we've only got a few nights left. I've seen his show last year, and by the time you've heard this,

I've seen it again, because I love that show so much, called Why the Long Face, his first solo show ever. Yes. And, yeah, go see him in Sydney, and, of course, in Perth. that we can do the double with Matt or Matt, bad boy.

Got a few nights to go. Yeah, come see me, bad boy. And by the time you're hearing this, I will have also seen that show because I'm seeing it tonight. Oh, my God. And I loved it, I think. I've heard from other people that have seen all your shows, which I have as well. That's your best one yet. So I'll be bringing that baggage in with me tonight.

Yeah, bring that baggage. Bring that high pass mark in with you. Really? His best one. Yeah. Really? I don't know if I trust their taste anymore. I thought it was dog shit. Which isn't to say that much worse than his others.

So this part of the show, we like to shout out some of our great supporters who support us at patreon.com slash dogo on pod. We love these people. Some of these people have been coming to see us live at the Comedy Festival as well. Thank you to those people. I've met a chunk of patrons that's been so nice. Yeah, I've had a few British people come through. Oh, yes. A lovely couple who were just here in Sydney, was it for a wedding or something?

They were here. And then they were just travelling around Australia a little bit. They just happened to be here in the first week of my show. So that was so nice to have them along. I wonder if they had a tart. I hope they treated. They would love it at tart. English accent, whatever one that is, so fun.

Is that Londonish? Yeah. It's pretty much Statham-y, isn't it? Yeah. Imagine Jason Statham, eating. A tart. Jason Statham is the tart. The tart master.

The tart master. I just wanted to sell my tarts on the street, but a man kept pushing him over. So then I got mad, and then I got even. That's right. It's like they didn't realize that he was like the biggest badass in the world. Yeah. Picked a fight with like a military veteran. I'm just retired, trying to live into quiet tart life.

Yeah. Which is pretty much the, that's all the movies. does now maybe. I love him. Beekeeper, where he was... I'm just, I'm just keeping the bees. And the working man, I'm just trying to work in construction. Just try to be a working man.

Just trying to be a working man nine to five. I don't know how they called it working man. Like, we'll give a job for him. He'll do something. Working title, working man. Working title, employed somehow. Yeah. Current employee.

I can't do that anymore. I'm currently employed. Oh, I'm up for an employee of the month. So anyway, yeah, great patron supporters. Thank you so much. Including that English couple who set us off on an absolute tear there. What are you talking about? I'm high on tart.

Oh, and if you do ever go into the tart shop, sweet Nata, you got to check. The main tart man, the chef, I don't know what they call, but like specifically, he's like a pastry chef, I guess, who like, you know, in medicine, they go. Oh, he's telling he's a specialist. Yeah, absolutely. I've got a special set of skills. And he's got a fantastic mustache as well. But anyway, um...

And he wears an apron. It's very professional. It's so good. Love his work. I wonder if I, I have no idea if this tart obsession will be a life long thing. Or if I look back and remember that? Remember 20, 25, the year of the tart? What great year.

You call it 2025. call it 2020 tart. What's that mean? What's that mean? What's that mean? What's that mean? So, yeah, Patreon.com slash 2Gon pod. You can sign up on a bunch of different levels.

There's all sorts of different things. Dave, you know some of these things. Absolutely. You can get four bonus episodes a month, and that's end counting. There's over 250 in the back catalog to listen to straight away. Hear about live shows before anyone else. You get discounts to live shows. You get to be part of the beautiful Facebook group.

You get to write into the show in the bit we're about to do. and also very importantly, you get ad-free listening if you're on the bonus episode level or above. That's right. So if you don't like, you know, having to hit that skip button, you'll never have to do it again unless you don't like the riffs about Jason's date of them because everyone gets those and you'll have to skip those anyway. But some people, of course, like to hit the skip back button to hear the ads again, especially the ones that we read. What was that sweet deal? What was that code? Rewind, rewind, rewind. Yeah, yeah. That's how I do it. Yeah. So the first thing we like to do in this section of the show, we spend like half an hour or so.

I'm shouting out and appreciating our great supporters who, without them, this show would not exist. Absolutely. So the first thing is for people in the Sydney-Shaunberg Deluxe Memorial Edition level or above, they get to give us a fact-quoted question in a section of the show we call fact-quoted question, which actually, I think now that I'm thinking about it, it has a jingle. I think it goes something like, fact-quit-all-question. Ding. He always remembers the ding.

He stoned his last ding. Jason Stapham is the ding-dong man. They've stolen Big Ben. I was just trying to live a quiet life, keeping Big Ben clean and tidy. And then you had to go and steal Big Ben. Now they're in for big pain. And his name's Ben as well.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you still, big Ben, now you have to deal with little Ben. So, yeah, the Sydney-Shaunberg level, give us a fat-quita question. I'll read out your name, then I'll read out the title you've given yourself, and then your fat-quoted question, et cetera. Here we go. I don't read until I read, and we get done four this week. We've got one from Sophie Skilling, whose title is ashamed.

And Sophie isn't going on a fat-quarter question because you can do whatever you like, now. Sophie's offering a joke. Are you ready for this? Hit me. Hit me out. John me to do it? Yeah, perform it.

Maybe a Statham, it? Jason Statham is a stand-up comedian. Hey, what else been going on? Thanks for coming, everybody. All right, all right. When is Andy Murray's bedtime? I don't know. When is Andy Murray's bedtime?

Ten-ish. That's great. Jason, you've killed. Sophie skill. God thank my right. Sophie Schilling. She's got a specific set of skillings. That's excellent.

Different actor, but still. It's something. Thank you so much, Sophie. That was really good. That's funny. I believe Dave really did enjoy that. I really did. No shame required.

Next one comes from Jordan, aka the Dave, in brackets, like in the do go on D&D podcast available now on. to do go on patrons, close bracket. That's right, in the latest season of do go D&D or whatever we call that show, which is monthly on Patreon.

I got a little familiar little guy that runs around with me called The Dave, who looks exactly like me, but with a much better beard and a six-pack. And yeah, you in that show aren't you? I'm not me. You're a goblin or something. Yeah. I can't remember. I'm Terry Sharpe.

I'm Terry Sharpe. Yeah, he was thinking of Jason when I named him. I work in the sharpening factory. Looks like your pencils just gone blunt. As he puts it through his eye. So Jordan is offering a something. I don't think we've had just a something before writing. So I give people weird nicknames pretty often

because I think the usual shortening of them of the name is boring. There's four main ones. my little brother is called Joel. I call him Jim. I have a co-worker named Jacob, whom I call Cobb. That's really good. Cobb, yeah, you hear a lot of Jake's, but Cobb is.

Cobb's great. Cob's sick. I love that. My girlfriend's name is Destiny. I call her Tony. Destoni. My friend Tiff has become Tim. Do y'all ever give weird nicknames to people?

Or is it just me, George. and what a beautiful question. A beautiful question. A beautiful question. Dave gave himself the nickname Cobra. Yeah, that's right. And it's actually taking off. I got a friend called Edith.

They call her death. That's sort of in a similar life. And sometimes call her life, as you know, like an ironic twist on it. That's really good. You got to take their second step sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People with nicknames. I think there was it on this show.

I was talking about it recently. it's not a nickname I gave, but he goes by, its name's Adam, but he goes by Big Deal because he ordered the KFC Big Deal one time. The Big Deal! Or maybe I've ordered a few times.

That is so good. Big deal. I'm the big deal. And he pushed for that? I can't remember. So good. It definitely took off. I'm the Big Deal.

How's it going? Big deal? I'm drawing a blank right now on people with nicknames. What about Bob? Of course, Bob. and that she chose that herself as well. Yes, she did. She forced us.

But somehow that works. It just really works though. Bop. Yeah, I like taking the second half like if I was vid instead of Dave from David. Yeah, yeah, that is fun. Vid, video, video, beta max, Max, Max, Max Powers, Power, Dr. The Doc, syringe. The doc's good.

The job. Okay, yeah, point. The jab. Jabba the Hut Pizza Hut Pizza Hut Pizza pepperoni Pepper

This is amazing to watch Pepper Pepper Grindrinder Grindr Man Nick Cave Nick Cave Warren Alice Warren Alice

Violinus The Dirty 3 Tripper Trippitch Tripper Trippster Trippy He just doesn't know

where to stop Oh am I tripper Tripper I think Yeah maybe Tripper And why do they call you a tripper Well it's a long story actually What about, okay, and your one would be Thu instead of Matt?

Yeah, actually, when I was a kid, I used to get, for a little while I had tennis coaching on a Saturday morning. And the guy called me Huey, took the back end of Matthew. That's great. More people didn't do that. Yeah, I liked Huey. It's the unused letters from Matt as well. Yeah. Matt and Hugh.

So I'm happy to go by Huey. Oh, please have. Huey, Huey Shoey. He used you. Bring it back. Huey. I think that's good stuff. Yes.

Anyway, Gjordan, so I guess we call Jordan. Dan. Jordan's such a more fun name than Dan. No, I think Dan. Daniel, Yul, Yul Tide, Christmas, Chrissy. Christmas roast, family lunch, lunche, lunchy, lunche, luncheon, chony. Tron. Tron.

Yeah, Trono. Trano. Toronto. Jordan's Trano. Got any Trano. I wonder if we've just come across an idea for our game today. The next one comes from Matthew Whittingham, okay, bookchetechip Blue Ranger. I met Matthew at my Brisbane run.

Ah. He wore a shirt that said, I'm single because of Matt Stewart. And it was because he got tickets to my show instead of going to a Valentine's Day speed dating that he was meant to be on to. Oops. God, you could have met the love of your life there. But I think he ended up meeting someone the night of my show. So I feel like he needs to put a text of Mark through it. So, yeah.

I'm, you know, I'm dating because of Matt Stewart. That's beautiful. And then if you do that, I think I could start selling that merch. Yeah. I mean, you could have both varieties, both in blue. everyone in red. Yes, that's true. Are you single or are you dating because of my podcast? Two options. And only two. Yeah. So Matthews called himself Book Cheap Blue Ranger and offering a fact. Writing the first episode of Mighty Morphan Power Rangers premiered on August the 28th, 993, about two and

half months after the release of Jurassic Park in the United States. This undoubtedly contributed to the series' success as kids everywhere were hooked by dinosaur fever. And all the Mighty Morph and Power Rangers were based on dinosaurs, except with the Green Ranger who was based on a dragon, but he came later. I didn't know that. My favourite was the green one. They're all based on dinosaurs.

Well, they all had like on their chest a little symbol, like a T-Rex. Yeah, that's right. There was like a terodactyl. I'm not sure that's technically a dinosaur. Like one was a stegosaurus. I think we thought they were back then. Yeah. Back in 93.

We didn't know. Now, yeah, it's so weird that they're not dinosaurs. What the heck? Because dinosaur in itself doesn't mean what they are, really. It's like a bad name. isn't it? It's like terrifying lizard or something. Yeah. And they're not lizards.

Anyway, he goes on to say, the initial team are all based on dinosaurs. Well, the yellow and black rangers used to be saber-tooth, tiger, and a mastodon respectively. Oh, that's right. I remember that, yes. Which were prehistoric mammals and the pink ranger was a teradactyl, which falls under the genus of... Oh, sorry. Seresore. P.T.

Does that make an S? No, T. It's like teradactyl. Fricking hell, how good am I going? Terosaur. But apart from those four, all six of the original Power Rangers were based on dinosaurs. That is a fun little rollercoast. You've taken to some there, Matthew, I appreciate that very much.

Nice one. Apart from those four, the original six were all based on dinosaurs. Thank you so much, Math. You do you have anything out there, Dave? You don't want a bit of search? Oh, I just hadn't thought about the symbols. for a long time and I was definitely very big into Power Rangers. So that's really cool.

And finally for the fact quarter question this week, we've got one from Adam Tripinski, whose title is King Sex. Nice. That is nice. And King Sex is offering an objection writing, Where do you get off? I mean, this might need to be stathomed as well, I think.

Where do you get off? No, really. you get off. I'm speaking directly to Matt and Jess. I'm sick and tired and I mean sick to my stomach with the constant joking around about Dave's virginity and I'm not standing for it anymore. Thank you. As someone who's had the sex at least one time with proof being, do go on's cutest baby. I'm somewhat of an expert and can say that Dave is truly the only pod member that has had the sex. So Matt and Jess, where's your proof, huh? Where is it? I'd know any better you guys.

I've had sex and you just make fun of Dave to cover up your own virginities. I'm appalled. Do better or better yet. Do any at all. Do any at all. No, I mean, Jess have had sex. Yeah, here we go. Here we go.

I don't know. We're not covering anything up. We bone all the time. You've never boned, mate, man, man. We burn all the time. You're embarrassing yourself. Mate, we do it all the time. It's so good

And it's fine It's easy to me It's one of the easiest things I can do Okay I think I think he's making No no no no no Thank you so much to Adam Matthew Jordan and Sophie

The next thing we like to do Is shout out to a few of other great supporters We do nine each week Normally because we split up Three by three by three Dave how do we want to do this Do you think we'll go with Jordan's Nicknaming Convention

And you're going to try I'll read out the names and you try and find an unusual. I think we've got to limit it to like five. Oh, yeah, I mean, no, you could even just do the first one, I reckon. More like in the Jordan style of just taking an unusual part of the name. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, otherwise, you know, we'd be here a long time because it takes up, you know, you do about 50.

Yeah, hopefully AJ added it down. Removed from Kevin Bacon. Yeah, the ones we did before were, I think they went for about 45 minutes each. That was exactly. So I'll read out the names. I'll be thanking them and Dave's going to give you. your brand new nickname. Okay.

All right. Here we go. Firstly, thank you so much for your support from Durham in North Carolina. Isn't that in the United States? Where Michael John went to high school or uni or something like that? I can't ever remember my own fact anymore. Who's college? College.

Thank you so much. John Xiao. I've just had an absolute stab of that. John Zow. John, what about, I mean, the J gets a lot of lot of, lot of love. love there but what about just you take the oh the h in the end you get own oh my god our man does a video on this oh really you've got a guy for for john surname for zhao well that's what that was my guess but i doubt that's right here we go hello no that was me fake out we are looking at

how to pronounce this name let's break down the pronunciation a name of Chinese Chinese origin in Mandarin, it's pronounced as chow, chow. Chow. In English, it's often said as chow or chow. Am I? They were similar. I was not the same pronunciation in English as in, as in he was thinking he was Chinese. I think that was slightly different maybe.

But so John Xiao, chow. Are you happy with that? Yes, and I'm going to call John own. O-H-N. Oh, yeah. But own. Own. Own.

You got owned. Yeah, by. By Zhao. John Jow. It's a great name, by the way. Thank you so much. John, next up from, oh, address unknown could only shoot from

Deep within the Fortress of the Moles. Not giving us a lot to go on. I just saw the name. It looks like we got full name in the email address, but I'm guessing there's a reason they haven't given it to us. Yeah. So, thank you from a, wait, unknown spot. Thank you, KJ.

Okay, I think we need to do a bit more. I can't just call you Jay. I can't just call you Kay. Yeah. You can call me Kay. What about KJ, flip around? You've got JK, that's Jokes, the Joker, who played the Joker, Heath Ledger, Heath. Heath is pretty good.

Or what about... Heathcliff, Cliffie. Caesar Romero is one of the great names. He played the joke on the TV. Yes, that's great. So you can take... You can take Caesar, you can take Romero, you can take Heath, you can take Heathcliff, you can take Cliff.

We did say we weren't going to do that. I know, but that's just because we've only got two letters to work with there. So I think you've got great options there. Thank you so much. I reckon Caesar Romero is one of the great names. That's an incredible name. And I love how his mustache was iconic and he refused to shave it off to play the joker.

So they just paint it over the mustache. His face paint over it. That's really funny. It makes quite a jokey look, I reckon. Next up, I'd love to thank from Marietta. Georgia, I reckon in the United States. It's Ben. Ben. Okay. Ben. What about you flip that? Neb. Nebby. Neb. Neb. Neb. On your, Nebby. Um, um, from, uh, Kappa or Cooper. Kappa in, uh, Great Britain. Uh, love to thank invasive squirrel. Okay, invasive squirrel. Where to go

with this? What about... Siv? Siv. Siv. Siv's good. Good. Sib or Squire? Or squire, yes. I think that's so fun. When Jess's dad calls me Squire. It feels a lot. I call him Squire as well. And it's just a really great moment.

Shake the hand. Squire. Yeah, Squire. Honestly, invasive squirrel, just go with it. Yeah. Invasive squire now. From To Womba in Queensland, Australia. Thank you so much to Zoe and Joel.

What I'm thinking here is two names with a similar theme. Oh, they both got... Owee. O-O-O-O. O-O-O. O-O-O-O-O. O-O-O-O-O-O-O. O-E-O-O-O-O-O-O.

Oh, O-E. Oh, O-2. Oh, no-2-1-O-2. 9-2-O-2 Arena. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. O-y-O-O-O-O. Zoe and Joel.

Yeah, they're made for each other. You'd want, Joel, do you reckon they ever called Zoe and Joey? Yeah, I think Zoe and Joey should be. They must. Zoe and Joelle? Please consider it. Zoel and Joelle.

Zohel and Joelle. The first Joelle. Yeah. The first, Zohel. Thank you so much to you two, power couple. Next up, thank you from Cambridge in Ontario, I reckon, in Canada. It's Kay Castle. Oh, my God.

I say this every week, but our listeners and our Patreon supporters in particular have the best names. Kay Castle. Hey, K Castle. It's Kay Castle here. You're listening to Kay Castle in the morning. What about, I'm seeing ass with an E there, assy. Assy. Asy. Like fluky, Lucky.

Yeah, I want to get assy. Because Lucky's a classic nickname. Yeah, that's good. But assy is, means the same thing, but it's got a bit more edge. Yeah, assy. Assy. I think that's fantastic. On your assy.

Another Fortress of the Moles entry, we can't see where they're from. So we are assuming Fortress of the Moles. and it's another single name up, but I reckon Dave's proven that he can do anything with less. Yeah. That's not quite a sentence that made sense, but you know what I mean.

Yes. Please and thank you, Liz. And if you don't know, your email address suggests you have a pretty common name starting with, a common surname starting with S. Okay, Liz, L-I-Z.

I'm looking at that. I'm flipping it again. I'm going to Zill. I'm thinking Zilla. Priscilla. Prazilla. Yeah. Yeah. Could also just be queen.

Could be the queen. The queen. That's pretty good. And Liz. Liz! Oh my God. But people would say, is that after Queen Elizabeth the same? No.

No. Priscilla. Priscilla. Yeah. Godzilla, queen of the, you know, Tokyo. Oh, yeah. Godzilla's good too. God.

God. They never miss. Flip it back. Dog. Dog. Beautiful. Everyone likes dogs. This is us doing it without going for long walk.

So you can only imagine how bad it could have been. Uh, two, only two left from, oh my God, how's this for a place name from El Cajon in, uh, California in the United States? Slurpy. Slurpy? So you've got slurpy? And you got P. Or you got Earp.

Earp. Wyatt Earp. Wyatt Earp. Wyatt. Oh, it's Wyatt. Wyatt. Yeah, yeah. Wyatt.

Why it? Why it with Matt Stewart. Good on your Earp. On your Earpie. And finally, again from Address Unknown, assuming once again from deep within the fortress of the miles, but we've got a little bit more to work with here, Dave. Please and thank you for your support, Anthony Harris.

It's got to be Thon. Oh, Thon. Like Thor's brother. Thor's brother, Thon. It's like a mix between Thor and Tron. And I don't know what Tron is, apart from it's like a movie from the 80s in the future. Has anyone seen that movie Tron?

No, no, no, no, no. Yes, I mean no. Is that one of those? When Homer goes into the 3D. Thon. Thon is great. Because yeah, Tony's been done and aunt. So that's all done.

Ant even, you hear occasionally. Yeah, Thon. Thon. You don't hear it. I think that's the most powerful of all. That's great. Imagine it was Thon Soprano. I reckon he could have probably made it all the way to the top of his field of work,

which of course was waste management. Thon. We're taking the Tofa Grace like way to name here, aren't we? I know, yeah, I think Tofa's fantastic. Fantastic. Yeah. It makes me think gopher. And I think, I don't know, I don't think I've ever seen a gopher, but I think I like the idea of a gopher.

Yes. Thank you so much too. Let's see if I can remember him now. Thon, Earp, the queen. What was Kay Castle? A assy. Oh, assy. O-e-o-e.

Uh-oh, yep. O-oh. Squire, Neb. Neb. Heath or the Joker. Heath or Caesar Romero. Yeah, or Caesar, Scars. And on?

Own. Own. O-H-N. Oh, H-N. Thank you to all of you. We appreciate everything you do. I think that they're all keepers. Yeah, I think they're all keepers.

I can see everyone going to the business card shop. Hang on, I've never had a business card before. That feels like a very old-school thing to do, but I'm getting one printed up with my new nickname on it. And the last thing we need to do is welcome just the one this week into the Triptitch Club. Someone who's been on the shoutout level or above for three straight years, they get invited in a bit of the theory of the mind into our Triptage Club. Dave. Dave is my new nickname for you. Oh, I like Dave. I like it.

Dave, can you explain to the listeners you don't know what the Triplitch Club is? This is our clubhouse, our Theatre of the Mine, honor roll, where people get invited into the clubhouse. And once you're in, you can never leave it. Why would you want to? Because you've waited three consecutive years on the shoutout level or above. You've already had a shoutout a couple of years ago. Now you get to be enthrined to name up on the wall. You get to come on in.

We cheer you on. And then there's live music. There's fun. There's games. There's party favors. Table ice hockey. There's all sorts of cool. So I think we're up to like a dozen ice hockey table games.

I keep getting iced over. Yeah, I go ice them. Yeah. What do you mean? They keep getting eyes. It had a negative connotation there. This guy can't stop icing. I love to ice things.

Call me Dr. Freeze or Mr. Freeze, depending on which one is correct. Or which one isn't copyrighted yet. I'll take the other one. And yeah, you normally book a band. Jess normally is behind the bar and she is. She's fine. She's behind the bar. She's fine.

She's asked me to pass on that her cocktail this. week is called, what was the name of the bear? The Sanky, oh, sorry. Or the breeder bear or give me something to work with you. The Ezzo Brown Bear. The Ezzo Brown Bear cocktail is, of course it's brown. It's like, it's a twist on a classic, the Long Island iced tea. A bit of everything.

Only, yeah, we put in Sarky as well. Oh, nice one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we warm it up. It's actually, it's even nicer than it sounds. And Dave, you book a band for the after party? Yes, you're never going to believe this. I've been trying to get these guys to reform for quite a few years now.

And they finally said yes after I threw a truckload of cash out of cash out, let's be honest. But they couldn't say no. And you're never going to believe it after this week's report. We've got Grizzly Bear. Whoa. They broke up. Yeah, probably been on hiatus since 2020. But I like the stuff of theirs, I know.

What is it, like two weeks? Two weeks? That's their most played song on the spot. by far here. Yeah. And there, but there was a song, I mean, oh, you, I haven't thought about them ages. Yeah, I think I had two of their albums, the one with two weeks on it, which, uh, now I don't know how to say it, and Shields, which had the spade in the club on the, yet again. Yes, that's not yet again's off that, which I really love. Yeah. I'm going to play that as soon as we stop by our recording. You don't mind, Dave. Love that. So we go, so just one name. Everyone is already in, which is hundreds of people are already

lifetime members in the Triptitch Club. But we've got one new inductee tonight. I'm going to read out their name. Dave's going to hype him up. He's on stage. He's going to get you all, all the current members, whipped into a frenzy.

Of course. So here we go. Dave does a bit of a weak wordplay if you haven't ever heard before. Just go with it. I think he thinks it's good. And all right. Dave, you're ready?

I'm ready. From London in, I reckon Ontario in Canada. Welcome in Brendan Charles. Ten out of tendon, Charles. Tendin? 10 out of 10. Den Charles. That's so good, Dave.

Superbrendendin Charles, Murs. How is that even better? I feel like you can't keep topping it, but maybe one more. Rule of three. Oh, yeah. Charlie and the Brendan Factory. Oh, my God. We've got to stop there because that's perfection.

Welcome in. Brandon, make yourself at home. Grab yourself one of those bear cocktails. Kick back, maybe play a bit of ice hockey. You're a Canadian. I'm probably sure you're loving that. I'm probably sure. I'm probably sure to love it.

We're running out of legs here. That brings us to the end of the episode. Yeah, but please follow us. We're putting up clips pretty regularly on TikTok and Instagram on our YouTube. But yeah, follow us on the Instagram, if anywhere. Do go on pod. It definitely helps us with touring and stuff. For some reason, people look at the amount of followers before they let you book rooms and tours.

So if you can follow us, that'd be great and like, you know, like our posts and stuff. Because it looks weird. It doesn't look like it's real if you have a lot of followers and, like, posts get like three likes. Yep And yeah Sorry to get technical But just like it Fuck

Fuck The people listening this deep into the episode They're a true supporters They already like us They're like us and followers Dave You want to boot this baby home We'll be back next week

With another episode And until then I'll say thank you so much for listening And goodbye Later Woo Don't forget to sign up To our two of

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