Do Go On - 500 (Part 1) - The Fouke Monster with Nick Mason and Cass Paige

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

We've made to 500 episodes! To celebrate we are releasing three episodes over three days, all recorded live at The Capitol Theatre in Melbourne. First up we have a mysterious cryptid called The Fouke Monster, AKA The Legend of Boggy Creek. Joining us to hear about this terrifying creature haunting the USA in the 1970s is Nick Mason and Cass Paige.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 13:38 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://web.archive.org/web/20030803215531/http://texarkanagazette.com/articles/2001/06/24/export15709.txthttps://www.texarkanagazette.com/news/2019/jun/14/hairy-monster-hunted-fouke-sector/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fouke_Monster#https://encyclopediaofarkansas.net/entries/fouke-monster-2212/http://www.foukemonster.net/festival/ https://americanprimate.org/beachfoot/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we've got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to another episode of Dugawa. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, Dave. And we're here for the 500th time.

Let's all hold hands. Let's all hold hands. Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. Yes. Can't quite reach out. I'm really stretching. That's probably for the best.

We don't know where that hand's been. Well, I do and it's awful. What an absolute treat and, dare I say, a milestone. It is well done, everyone. So many people said we'd never get here, us included. Yep. And don't we look like fools now? Yeah.

Yeah, we feel so full. We proved ourselves wrong. Yeah. Basically, what you're about to hear is we recorded our 500th episode a few weeks ago, live at the Capitol Theatre in Melbourne, our biggest Australian show ever. We packed it out. Thank you so much everyone who came along. It was a really nice, fun night.

It was so nice. It was very cool walking out on the stage and seeing all of those people in this nice, beautiful, fancy-feeling theatre. That's right. The staff were amazing. We had a great time. We were very, very lucky. We had some very special guests who you're going to hear from.

No spoilers. Unless it's in the name of the episode. No spoilers. Don't look. Now, here's a little spoiler about what's happening this week. And you might have noticed that it says something like part one in this title. And that is because we each did a mini report. We all wanted to be part of our episode 500 with our different reports.

Of course. Different topics. different types of favorite, you know. Like genre almost. Favorite genre. That's absolutely right. Yes. And so what we're doing is today, Wednesday, part one's going out.

It's going to be My Report. Part 2 is tomorrow with Matt's Report. And then on Friday, we're having part three. Big finale, Jess Perkins, doing her report. It's a big week. We're making it an extravaganza. That's right. And each episode has two special guests, beloved guests,

from across the history of the podcast. Yeah. I'm so excited for people to hear this. I think this might change everything. Sorry, can you say that with a bit more excitement? I'm so excited for people to hear this. I think it's going to change everything. Is that too much?

Yeah, that made me a bit uncomfortable. That was a lot. Split the difference? Yeah, split the difference. I'm so excited for people to hear this. I think it's going to change everything. Matt, that was beautiful. Thank you.

We use that one? Yeah, I think we'll use that one. Let's use it that one. All right. Print, cut, print. We also filmed these, and they're going to come out on the Do Go On YouTube channel in a couple of weeks, if you want to watch the videos in full. But without further delay, here it is part one of episode 500. You!

Goodness! Welcome to the 500th episode of Doogon. How you doing out there? Okay, I got to say, just before coming out, one of our guests who's performed here before told us, you won't really hear much of a noise out there so don't worry, it feels like you're going to be bombing, but don't worry, and he's 100% right. The atmosphere hits sucks here.

Yeah, that was embarrassing. Yeah. I was about to say, we can't see him very well. I don't know if there's house lights, but if there are, yeah, keep them down. So thank you so much for coming out. We're so stoked that you're here. By the way, my name is Dev Warnocky,

and I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins, everyone. I feel you just introduce us. I was wondering what we were waiting for then. It was for me to... Yeah, thanks so much for having us. Hey, oh, Jess, quick question. How good is it to be alive? It's fine.

This is one of those moments where I am trying to like... Because I'm pretty numb. Most of the time. We've been tranquilising her backstage. How else do you control women? We've tried everything. I'm at my wit's end I was just to say

This is one of those moments I was trying to soak in how lovely it is To have all of these people here So I've gone too sincere That's gross Um Fuck you

Fuck you Fuck you No Well I'm indifferent to you Wow We got a lot to get through Dave Should we get it crackin Yes

Well let's Should we sit down Okay All right Oh my gosh That's uh Yeah we really sink into that Oh yeah, that's right. This is an audio medium.

Yeah, we've worked that out now. So thank you so much for coming out. Give us a round of applause if you've come from interstate or possibly some people... Oh, I'm glad you kept going there. I really appreciate that. Can I ask, give us a round of applause if you've come. The virgins are at the back. Very still back there.

I did not club. Oh. Totally. Totally have, totally have. Know what it means and all. All right, have anyone come from overseas? Thank you so much. We had a guy, which we really appreciate.

Where have you come from? New Zealand. New Zealand. We know accents. That's American for sure. New Zealand. What a weird lie? I love our optimistic.

Some people were when the tickets went on the sale. We had a guy posted our Patreon group today saying, hey, I bought four tickets, but I'm not going to make it. things have come up, I'm from Alaska and he only figured out today he wasn't going to make it so I appreciate you thank you so much

so we always start the show by asking who has heard the show before so give us a round of applause if you've ever heard, do go on bastard that is always a relief genuinely it would have been so weird if none of them had heard it a lot of explaining we'd have to do

but we always ask other end of the sky there's always people who've never heard it before give us a round of applause if you've waited 500 episodes to hear. Do go on! Yes. Yes. Front and centre.

Could not be any more... They're always in the front row. That seat could have been taken by one of the virgins up the back, mate. This guy fucks for coming. Doesn't even know what a podcast is. So thank you so much for coming out. Maybe for your benefit, just you don't explain how this show works? Get fucked.

Okay, so... Here's how... works for the 500th time. One of the three of us, Dave, Matt and Jess, by the way, I genuinely, for a second, was like, what is his name? Dave.

Dave, Matt and Jess. I'm up there. There's no beard, so I don't know. True. We take turns, researching topics, and telling the others about it. And the others listen very politely and never interrupt with dog shit riffs

and never sass each other. We're all very polite. That's how it works. and has always worked. Absolutely. Now, usually it's just one of us doing the report for the whole time, but for the 500 episode,

we couldn't decide who was going to do the report. So we're all doing mini-topics. I really appreciate you going with that. I really feel like I could put that inflection on anything and you would cheer for it. Try it, try it. And we're sold out of beer. No, because I think you went beer.

You got to go, no-da. So try, you all have chlamydia. Okay. And the news is, you all have chlamydia! It's actually a relief to know what that burning sensation is from. That's what it is. I just thought out a really hot dick. That's why we're sold out of beer.

Sorry, just so that I'm up to date, the implication being there that Matt has been putting his dick in beer. Great. That's why this tastes really weird. So we're doing many topics, and because we've had so... It's a cream male. I don't know Why do they sit me in the middle

If I'm on the side I feel like I can be quiet for a while But now I feel like I'm going to have to talk nonstop For the audience at home matters muted his microphone Long enough for me to say that we have had so many Fantastic guests over the last 499 episodes And we wanted to bring a few of them out on the show tonight

So for each mini report We're going to bring out two fantastic guests And I have a feeling You're going to love our first guests Because they are known as the fourth and fifth Beatles Am I correct? I believe so Possibly fifth and six

Would you please welcome to the stage is Nick Mason and Cass Page Playing how they'd get to their seats We didn't think that through Welcome to this professional show and podcast Thank you for being here Thank you so much Thank you so much

This feels like we're on a very serious panel You know Like we're going to be talking about something important But I guarantee that's not the case No Well you wait for my report I did not have sex with that woman The Dugo on podcast

it's a little there's a little Bill Clinton roof that's a little yeah it hasn't been relevant for like 30, 40 years it might be relevant

it might be relevant next Wednesday but it might be relevant if people are checking their podcast feeds next Wednesday that will be very topical I thought

maybe you're flagging that you're going to have sex with a woman on Wednesday yeah is that not was that not clear I'll be having sex with a woman on Wednesday and we'll be dropping that

podcast feeds now for those who don't know the show we always get on a topic with a question Dave's on the first report tonight Dave do you have a question for us I do have a question and it actually goes out to the audience you can yell out if you know the answer to this

the following are all examples of what we've got Mothman Bigfoot Yeah it's cryptid It is cryptids You are, right? Once we've done before, The Loch Ness Monster, the Mongolian Death Worm,

The Lizard Man Escape Or Swamp, who loves butterbeams? Oh my God, something got to know about him. I found that so funny and no one else ever has. I humor you. We are, I've picked a cryptid. So good. Have you?

Yes, I have, Cass. Mesa was on one of the first ever. He was here for Mothman. Moth Man. Mockness. Yes, and one of the reasons I picked the cryptid. We're all doing our... topics that, you know, our favorite types of topic, and I've picked a cryptid

because when I went through our suggestion, our Jack the Hadmic video where people suggest topics, I typed in your name, Nick Mason. Oh, yes? Not one but two people suggested that we do a cryptid, but we have to have you on as well. Okay. Do I look like this cryptic? Because I do look like some cryptids. Some sort of goblin? Is that what it is? I live at the bottom of a garden.

Thank you to the people that suggested this, and that is Aaron Wolf from Daytona Beach. Oh. Are you in? No. And Michael Lucci from Moore in Oklahoma. Not in tonight. Cass, how do you feel about it cryptid?

Oh, I love how much hair they have. Or how wet they are. And it's always one. Tonight we've gone with hair. We are talking about the Google how to say this. The topic? You don't know how to pronounce the topic.

Oh, this is going to be a long one. You'll do it on the night. The Falk Monster. Oh. Falk. Do you know, give us a shout if you like to Falk. Any Falk heads out there? It's spelled Fook, F-O-U-K, but apparently it's Falk.

No, let's call it Fug. Yeah. Can we? Yeah. Okay. It's the Fook Monster, aka the Boggy, the Boggy, monster. Oh it's wet too! It is wet! Oh yes! And for a bonus point it's boggy. Okay so let me take you back. It's May 1971. We're at the Ford household south of Texarkana

in Arkansas near the town of Fook. Fook Monster is what Matt calls himself in private. Well public now. Oh she's I I wasn't expected to be outed tonight, but yes, I'm the Fook Monster. Mystery's old folks, we've done it, and we couldn't do it without you. Who's Fooking tonight? Monster style. Yeah, that's something I, that's what I say, but I'm normally wearing a mask. He thought that was sad.

Somehow. So, 1971, we're at the Ford household. At the time, Bobby and Elizabeth Ford had just moved into their home a week previously, and throughout the week, that heard movement outside their property night, but they'd really thought nothing of it. That was until a few nights later, Elizabeth Ford was sleeping in the front room on the couch, trouble in paradise, when she said, quote, I saw the curtain moving on the front window and a hand sticking through it.

At first I thought it was a bear's paw, but it didn't look like that. You know, I think that about anything. Is that a bear's... Does that microphone a bear's paw? It had heavy... You're excited for this cast. heavy hair all over it and it had claws. I'm listening.

I could see its eyes. They looked like coals of fire, real red. She added, it didn't make any noise, except you could hear it breathing. So it did make noise. Yeah, it's making noise. And it looked like a bear, but then it did not look like a bear. Good.

So her husband, Bobby and his brother Don, ran in and chased the creature away, firing several shots from their shotguns. that they swear hit, but no traces of blood were ever found. I didn't think they hit. Yeah, they definitely missed. They missed for sure. Yeah. I mean, what's more likely, though, that they missed, or that it's bulletproof?

It's bulletproof, obviously. Bulletproof, yes. Oh, my first thought was no blood. Oh. Okay, so we've got a few theories going early. Uh-uh, uh-uh. It's the Fook Monster. That's my theory.

It's my working theory. Okay, we'll find out. I'm heard of a bloodless coup, not a bloodless fook. No, that almost... I thought there might have been something there and when I said it out loud, I realised it wasn't. I'm really glad you've got the no dog shit riff wrong in place for tonight.

Sorry, everyone. This is just for later. AJ, can you edit that out? Not actually, that is AJ. He just sculled his drink up to Santa 2. No, they took a big drink. AJ's crazy, man. That guy's wild.

AJ, honestly, please cut out the bombs. My ones, obviously leave Jess and Dave's in. If they do any. So far, 100% accuracy. Unlike these people shooting in that hair. So, the creature was described by Ford as being about seven feet tall and about three feet wide across the chest. Bobby also said at first I thought it was a bear,

but it runs upright and it moves real fast. An extensive search of the area failed to locate the creature So they called the Fook town constable Ernest Wohlraven Which is an incredible name Who arrived on the scene with another shotgun And a stronger light

Waiting on the porch the creature reappeared And they shot it again It's not the light that's the problem They should have brought a stronger shotgun Right? Sure Yeah Bazooka It appeared to fall but when they ran out to it

It had disappeared Bobby was climbing a ladder to get back onto the side of the porch when it quickly reappeared and he felt a hairy arm grab him and bring him to the ground. He said, after the thing grabbed me and I broke free, I was moving so fast, I didn't stop to open the door.

I just ran through it. He ran through a door like a cartoon. Was he running into a tent? Yeah. What do you mean? There's a flash screen and a wooden door. You can't run through a door. Bobby Fisher can.

If that is indeed his name. Bobby Ford, Bobby Fisher plays chess. And he can also run through a door. I stand by it. Compromises the entry, though. Yeah, that's right. He can never as waltz in. Oh, but he is seven foot tall and three foot wide. Right. Bobby's only six foot tall and two feet wide.

His brother Dan said, Don, rather. His brother Don said... Jesus Christ, Dave. Honestly, for our 500th episode, your sloppiest work. I can't put out to any other names, and I don't know who the people are. No refunds. A little glimpse one, though, Kerr and Jess, I think all of this story is bullshit. So his brother Don said, we heard Bobby shouting, and by the time we got there, everything was over, we didn't see a thing.

So it sounds to me like Don had his doubts that the creature had even. grabbed him. They'd used all their ammunition, so constable Ernest Walraven loaned them a gun and ammunition in case the creature came back before the morning. You know when cops do that? Here, take my gun. That thing sounds scary. Do you reckon you can do it? How many guns have these people been given at the moment? Because they don't keep getting more bullets, they keep getting more guns. I think there are more guns per capita in that Yeah, they're doing that thing in an action movie where rather than reload, they just go,

and then they just throw it. All that remained Sunday morning at the Ford House was several strange tracks that appeared to be left by something with three toes and several scratch marks on the front porch that appeared to have been made by something with three claws. Elizabeth Ford said, I'm not staying here anymore unless they kill that thing. Sounds like more trouble in paradise to me. The family did in fact move away. They were so freaked out.

They've been in the house for just over a week. Then an article was published in the Texarkana Gazette by a guy called Jim Powell, and the story kind of blew up overnight. More historical sightings of the so-called Fook Monster came to light, dating back as far as 1946, when a resident reported to Miller County Sheriff Leslie Greer that she had seen a strange creature near her home.

Some accounts described the Fook Monster as running swiftly with a galloping gate, swinging its arms in a fashion similar to a monkey. it's a primate. Like tree or... Like a knuckle or... Oh, like a knuckle or... Oh.

Somehow! What about... Can you do one of each? Yeah, that's... That's Fook. It was that one. That's the food. Is that Fook? That's Fooky.

Did I just Fook? Yeah. A variety of tracks and claw marks have been discovered in the area which are claimed to belong to the creature. one set of footprints measured 17 inches or 43 centimetres in length, which is quite long, but I looked it up, that's only three centimetres longer than the feet of Ian Thorpe.

So it's Ian Thorpe in big funny shoes. Yes. Also, the footprint only had three toes, so I'm not sure how many toes Ian has, but could be him. I mean, probably fewer than normal for aerodynamics in order. Yeah. He removed two. Of these earlier sightings,

Constable Ernest Walraven told the Texana Gazette, several persons saw the thing and shot at it, some from close range. They said nothing seemed to stop it. They described it as being about seven feet tall and it looked just like a naked man covered with brown hair. Okay. I think we're getting closer to a believable story now. There's a weirdo in the community.

Do you know who else has brown hair? Ian Thorpe. But also, at what point does this become relevant to Mesao? Is this a story you're familiar with or anything? That's my dad. That's the big reveal. I didn't want to spoil it earlier on. We were going to finish with that. Who wants to see my toes? That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's patron only.

There is a market for that. Yeah, Mesa had two of his toes removed so he could take his own piggy to market. Oh, things are heating up. That's really hot. Take his own piggy to market. Wee. After the original article, the next day, both the Texarkana Gazette and the Texarkana Daily published follow-up stories

and the Associated Press and United Press International picked them up and transmitted it to member newspapers across the nation and the nation caught Fook Fever. Haven't we all? No. Would you believe it? From here, sightings increased. The Little Rock, Arkansas radio station, K-A-Y, posted a $1,090-bounty on the cruise.

creature. Not sure why the 90. And then according to the... 109.0. Yeah. KL something something. 100%. That's a promo for a local FM radio station. Yeah, that's got to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Secret sound, secret. Fook. Secret fuk. You know how many that is in today, Do you know how many that is in today, Dolly?

Six thousand nine hundred and sixty-nine. According to the Texarkana Gazette, a local man by the name of Skoggins, also offered a $200 reward. Okay, now we're starting to get somewhere. Why? Just a local pervert who wants to get his own piece of the action and why not? And his name is Scoggins.

Scoggins is like, I just want to see photos of its feet, okay? If you can prove to me it's got real feet and they need to be nude, you get $200 from me. So we're up to 1,290 big ones. And what year is this? 1971. Oh, that's a lot of cash. That's a lot of cash.

cash. Are you looking at Mesa trying to get him to offer up his dad for money? May so, I don't know. That's a pretty sweet deal. Where's your daddy? It's the new who's your daddy? Where's your daddy? That's another radio promo.

Soon, teams of monster hunters descended on the city and calls and letters from interested parties flooded local officials, lines and desks wasting lots of valuable police time. Several attempts were made to track down the creature with dogs, but they were unable to follow it. Sent.

It was chaos in the small town. Heavily armed people were trespassing on private property and cutting down people's fences all trying to get a glimpse of the creature. Again, like, is this town just not able to go through a door or a gate? Yeah. Why are you cutting down the fence?

Jesus. It sounds... Please. Please. Please. Oh, please. Please. Yes, please.

Please. Oh, my God, please. I was going to say, it sounds like the purge. It's just an excuse to just go nuts and rezone. own your neighbour's, you know, your property or whatever. Like, I'm going to cutting your fence down, actually, because of the Fook Monster. That's why. Not because I want to have your pool, but the Fook Monster.

That'd be brutal. Summertime comes, and what was your pool a year ago has now just been reason I'm brutal. Yeah. But you still have to clean it. Oh. Yeah. That's actually the best. You still get to use the pool.

Don't have to clean the pool. Yeah. can take my pool. So monster hunters descended on the town but not everyone was convinced in the Fook Monster. One month after the

Ford siding, Southern State College archaeologist named Frank. Can we going to count? Jess, is that three names just fucked up? Minimum. At least, yeah. You know that this happens every two minutes in the studio but we just get AJ

thank you to edit it out. Yeah, he actually edits yours out. Well, we're actually all equally incompetent. But he's got a vendetta, this prick. Love you, AJ. He's even got technology to make it sound like my fuck-up. You said it. No one, he said, Frake?

What a weirdo. Frank, and he's an archaeologist. His name is Freak. It's just Freak now. Just go with it. There's a man in the second row with his head in his hands. And this isn't even his

job. This is your job. That was the man in the second and the man the front row has never heard before and clearly fucks his book got his hand in a lap next to him. Yeah, I can see the front row. Are there any Franks or Franks in? Where my Franks at?

All right. The man previously known as Frank. his last name is sham bark sham bark sham bark sham bark and he's convinced that there's a 99% chance that tracks are a hoax so his name is sham which is nominative determinism

he hates this idea according to frank sham bark the tracks could not be from a species of ape as claimed by witnesses because they were from a three-toed creature whereas all primates including hominids have five toes explain that.

Well, I mean, this is the classic thing, isn't it? It's like, as far as we know so far, maybe this is a fucking new one. This goes, what's that? Hey, hey, hey, hey. That's anti-science, man. Oh, we haven't discovered it, yes, so it doesn't exist. Take some big day breaths, brother.

No, I just, I think Frank's a prick. Fuck you, Frank. I hate you, Frank. I hate you, Frank. You're right, though, because, like, Mesa's only got three toes. Yeah. It's an evolution or possibly a devolution. Yeah, maybe this guy's ahead of it.

Frake. No, no, no, no, no, the Fook. Not Frank Fook. Cass, I'm pretty sure you taught me this, but horses used to have horses. Horses used to have like multiple toes, and now they have like one, and the hoof is like just a nail and their feet became a hoof. I think the legs are fingers and the nail is a... The hoof is a nail.

I don't think I taught you this. Okay. But this is like the biggest compliment of my life. Jess, have you considered that maybe there was a gas lake backstage or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a horse. Yeah, and I think the upper bit is the, like a horse.

So that, wait, you're saying the legs of the fingers, so the torso of the horse is the hand? I'm wondering if we went to, like, tamar or something. And then the head is the wrist. Like, test the, oh my God. Are these like just, just, miss the torso. Mr. Hands. Is this Mr. Hands?

That's a funny little call forward to my report, actually. I don't like the sound of that. Okay. So there's freaks in this world, and there's people that believe us. People were adamant. They'd seen something, and there were theories about what people had been spotting. Rumors circulated that a circus train had derailed along the Sulphur River years before, and the sightings were merely animals that had escaped and gone wild.

But we know about those animals. those are known animals if they're like oh the circus train broke down they're like well we're missing one ape it is seven foot that's that's an accounted for

beast I would say yeah I don't know that sounds like a pretty sad circus just one ape oh but you're so big he's reefing why okay you've won me back yeah let's go to the circus

The sightings really slowed after the arrest of three hoaxers who claimed they were attacked by the monster and they were fined $59 each for filing a fraudulent monster report. Is that still a, can I, is that still illegal or? Is it a fine still 59 bucks? I've got $59. I've got $59 in a Sunday afternoon. I'll report it on a Tuesday. No one's doing a crime on a Tuesday.

Yeah. And you've got a friend with three toes. We could make some little footprints of sand. Join me back here. Join me back here. What I guess? Okay, so what I reckon. Yeah.

Okay, while they're talking. Your six toes, I think my huge brain. Oh, yes. Like an estager robbery. Oh, I should be clear, though, I have three toes total. Like one, one really big one on the left and then two on the right. We can't do this. Bail.

Bail. Okay, well, bail. All right. Mason, did you hear the subtle thing? No, Cass, did you hear that? One of you called each other a friend, and I thought that was really sweet. That was nice, yeah.

But did the other? Yes. A thousand times, yes. Yes, please. Just finally, the story found a whole new audience when in 1972 the incident was made into a low-budget movie called The Legend of Boggy Creek,

directed by Charles B. Pierce in his directorial debut. Pierce also sang the theme song featured in the film, which is the best. It was a huge hit despite its very limited budget and became the 11th highest-grossing film of 1972. Top 11's pretty good. Its success inspired several sequels, including Return to Boggy Creek, 1977. Why would you go back? Boggy Creek 2, and the legend continues.

Wait, that's the third one? That's the third one. It's number 2. Then the increasingly desperate Boggy Creek, the legend is true. And most recently, 2016... In brackets, honest. Yeah, I swear. I swear to God, just watch the movie.

And most recently, Boggy Creek Monster, 2016. Which streaming service? How do I watch it? It's one of those movies that's on all of them. It's that good. Since 2013, Fouke has hosted the Fook Monster Festival, previously called the Boggy Creek Festival,

an annual event dedicated to discussions, presentations, and law related to the crew. and other similar monsters, and unbelievably, it's on this weekend right now. Wow. What the fuck are we doing, you all fucked up. I reckon that's where that guy from Alaska is right now. And honestly, that was a good decision on this part. This year confirmed speakers include paranormal researcher Mitchell Whittington and Todd Neese,

who was a Bigfoot investigator and also producer of the film's Cascade Bigfoot Blood Mystery 3, remote viewed and Cascade Bigfoot Blood Mystery 4 Blood Trails Nice co-founded the American primate

conservates What the fuck's this word? Does Franks work there? Does Franks work at the conservatory? The American primate Well yeah we get it. He started something.

Yeah yeah yeah with his wife Diane and their primary mission is the discovery No, the other the other Diane, the discovery, knowledge, research, recognition and protection of the Sasquatch. And I went on the website and there's a gallery of images from Beachfoot, which is, they describe as an annual invitation only, private gathering of international Bigfoot researchers.

And there's a photo of a previous Beachfoot showing someone wearing a t-shirt with Bigfoot underneath it just says, bilf. So if they want to protect or fuck Bigfoot, or sorry, should I say fuk bigfoot? That's my report. Thank you so much. Maso, Cass. What do you think? Do you believe?

Yeah, absolutely. The toes, the eyes. Do you believe in your dad? Yeah. He's all right, that guy. Lives in Geelong. That's the big reveal. That's where it is now.

But I do see the spot we save from is still empty in the theatre tonight. Yeah, but the doors are only two foot wide, so that... How do you expect? Love your dad. Well, that's the end of the first report. Would you please give a massive round of applause for the fourth and fifth beetle?

It's Caspage. It's email. Oh my God. How good was that? Wow. Just I'm asking you. I can't remember it was a few weeks ago. I was drunk.

Okay. Dave? I was also drunk, but I have a good memory. And it was so good. You were sober as a judge. A judge who has a drinking problem. Thank you. Because there were a few times I stuffed up words.

I'm not sure if you remember. I think, AJ, probably. tidied that up in the edit. I think listening back, there was no way of doing that. We had to keep in me saying frake instead of frank. Of course. Frank. Shout out to all the freaks at home. Frakes. Or the freaks at home. Freaks. And the freaks who came. Yeah. Thank you so much. And that's only part one. Can you believe it this week? Part two is going to come out tomorrow, part three on Friday. And,

you know, we're so excited for that. But yes, yes, this is, of course, 500th week wouldn't be the same if we, uh, neglected to do everyone's favorite section of the show. A lot of people skip past. Imagine they skipped to the end and they're, that was it. Yeah, they skipped to nothing. It's all sizzle no steak. Yeah. If that's the saying. No, we're not doing that. We are doing everyone's favorite section. We're going to do a mini version of it on each episode. Uh, and to get involved in this, uh, you can go to patreon.com slash ducon pod and oh my gosh, you can jump on all sorts of levels for all sorts of things. Bonus. episodes, voting on topics, being in the Facebook group where everyone's very kind and it's

the genuinely nice supportive community, not a cult, and all sorts of other things as well. And if you're on the Sydney-Schomburg level or above, though, you get to be in the fact quota question section of the show, which is this very section. Huge. And now, Jess, I believe this section actually has a jingle. Some of those. Fact-quote or question. I always remember the thing. I always remember the sing.

I actually puffed myself with that one. Well, it was worth it. I'll tell you that. And the fact-quered a question for this part one, episode 500, comes from Jocelyn Kravitz. And they also get to give themselves a title. And Jocelyn's title is Angry Person on the Internet, open bracket, but a nice one closed bracket, full stop. A nice angry person on the Internet. Fantastic. Interesting.

Best of both worlds. Yes. And Jocelyn is asking a question, writing, is there ever a scene in a movie or TV show where a character does or says something that is so egregiously wrong that you get angry at the laziness of the writers? Oh my God, all the time. I can't think of any examples, but show me any show. One happened just two weeks ago.

I was watching the TV show, Reacher. Jack Reacher, the characters created by Lee Chard. It's like an action show. that actor at the airport. Was he the biggest man in the world? He was on my flight home from the US. Really? Was he an economy? I doubt it.

Because he's such a big dude. But he was waiting for his own bags. Really good. With wife and kids. Pretty cool. Yeah, that was a weird thing to mention, wasn't it? That's really cool. But he was waiting for his own bags.

Yeah. No, I know. That's sick. I don't think Tom Cruise waits for his own fucking bags. You know what I mean? Honestly, if you think that's cool, I can't wait to introduce you. to some cool people. Wow.

Anyway, what did you see? What did you see on this show? In season two, they are listening to, I think it's a jukebox and talking heads comes on. And they have this big exposition about the band. Did you say, do you know this? No, but I know exactly. Any of those exposition bits are quingy.

Of course you'd say that. You're my brother. I've known you my whole life. We shared a bedroom for crying out loud. Then they're talking about how much they're up. Remember the sheets we use? They love the band. And then one of them goes, yeah, this is great.

This is the talking heads. And they kept talking about the talking heads to the point that I was like, that's not the name of the band. It's just talking heads, isn't it? And I looked it up. And they even have a live album called the name of this band is talking heads. And I was thinking, that's got to come back later. Yeah.

It did not. They just wrote that in for some reason. And I was sitting yelling at my iPod. Yeah. I'm furious. I don't even the biggest talking heads fan. Even I know that's not what's so cool. Yeah, you were like, have some respect.

Yes, that sounds confusing and frustrating. But yeah, I can't think of any specific examples. Oh, it happens all the time, yeah. But anyway, Justin goes on. Because I'm not on social media, I'm using this platform to make total strangers on the internet, listen to Matt rant on my behalf about things that have been annoying me for years. All right, here we go. On Gilmore girls, Luke tells a horny Chilton mum to take, quote,

the I-5 South, back to Hartford. Every part of this is wrong. Oh, okay, I do now have an example, yes. I love that. Because especially when it's like, I mean, that's a fictional town. But if it's in an area, you know, it's like, yeah, that does get infuriating. That's why I do have one. Mission Impossible to the Australian one where I vaguely remember them getting so quickly from the harbour bridge to Uluru.

Oh, right. You know, like, oh. Maybe in the same fight, same or something? But see, this is why. In the same fight scene. This is why people in America consistently told me that Australia is smaller than Texas. You know, like the movies have lied. It's a very big place.

Yeah. All right. So don't worry. Jocelyn is going to break down why this is wrong. Great. I don't know. It's either capital I or L5 South. I'm going to say capital I, I5 South.

Yeah. Okay. Stars Hollow is in Southeast, so she should go north, not south. I-5 runs through L.A. US-5 runs through Hartford. Worst of all, we don't say the in front of the highways in the northeast. That is 100% a Californian thing.

We just say the number. So take the 5-north, not US-5-North. I can forgive the magical metabolisms and the wardrobes that are wrong for the weather, but the I-5 South kills me every time. On West Wing, oh, here's another one. On West Wing, the president asked Toby and Josh about a prayer that is said the night before at the Jewish Day of Atonement. They say, Erev, yeah? So wrong.

Jewish holidays run from sunset to sunset and the night part is called a rev. The president is revering to Cole Nidri. Oh man, I think there might be... But my pronunciation's being wrong here might lead to Justin's next. Anyway, I hope it does. Feel free, but if you want me to get it right, you're going to have to give me a little phonetics, yeah. Because I don't read this, so I read them. I think I've made that pretty clear. The president is referring to Colnidri, a declaration that annuls all vows taken in the past year.

Jews started saying it during a period of extreme persecution when they were often forced to convert to Christianity or Islam to restore their Jewish identity by nullifying the conversion. The writer and actor who plays Toby a Jewish and should have known better. So it makes you guys mad! Oh my God. This should be a spin-off podcast where people just write in stuff and he does yell like that. That's awesome. That was really fun.

That was awesome. That was fun to rant. That was good? It felt really good. It felt like a nice release. Yeah. Yeah. Was it this episode?

Will we just doing me doing a bit of trying to do different tones? And was that just now? Yeah. It was, yeah. That's funny. He's a bit of fun. He's got range. Yeah, it's range.

Yeah, I can go louder. There's a Sydney-Sweeney-Glen-Powel movie called Anyone But You, and it's set in Sydney. And I am married to a man from Sydney. And they are clearly like staying at a house that would be in like somewhere beautiful and coastal, but not in the city. And then they go to pick up flowers for the wedding and they're in the middle of town. Like they're in the middle of the Sydney Seabody and we're like, there's no florist. closer, you've just driven an hour and a half to pick up the flowers on the day of? Through Sydney traffic?

Yeah, are you nuts? And then he gets picked up by Coast Guard. Oh, yeah. Was this an episode of Water Rats? The Sydney Harbour Bridge is in the background of every shot. Of course. I, what about, I just had one and I've lost it? Sorry.

Does it matter? Nah. Oh, I was about to get fired up, though. I bet. I bet. I hate when Matt gets fired up like that Oh no Matt, calm down, it's okay I was watching about time on your recommendation

which I loved and I messaged you saying it was I think I was a little fragile anyway but the last third of it I was like weeping I was weeping the stuff about him and his dad holy shit. So nice and so brutal. Yeah and Bill Nye is just so fatherly anyway. He's so great

But there were so many bits in that, which I forgive them all. But like he goes, there was a rule on the time travel where he's like once you've had a kid, if you go back before then, it'll change the kid. Because it's very specific. It's the exact sperm and the exact moment, that sort of stuff. And he goes, okay, I understand that rule. So he's like, that means, you know, his dad was going to die and he was never going to be able to go back in time. visit him again because if he did it would change who his kids were.

But so I'm like, oh, he'll, he's made that decision to have another kid that night. And he's like, I can't, I can't go back because dad died after my first two kids, but not after the third one will be born. And then during the pregnancy, he goes back and forth all the way up until the kid is born. But that would be changing the baby in her stomach every time. What? Not stomach. I understand it's not.

Just proving I know that. I know it's not in her stomach, but you know, in a womb. It would change it every time, every time he goes, does that not wrong? I don't know. If it was already this set, that sperm and that. He hasn't, he hasn't met the kid, so maybe he doesn't worry him. But it would also change maybe that she doesn't get pregnant sometimes because he's changed. He keeps changing things.

Okay, that wasn't a good example. But anyway, I like that movie and fuck, that was the emotional stuff of, oh my God. Also, a bit strange that they never told their spouses what they were doing. Yeah. They were sort of like they were manipulating their partners their whole lives. Anyway, a bit of fun. Don't think too much about it, you know? Yes.

I really liked it. But yeah, those sort of time travel movies are important. You can't nail them. Nobody's perfecting the theory. Yes. The next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our great supporters. just normally comes up with a game based on the topic. The topic this time was a cryptid.

That's right. The Fook or Falk Monster or the Legend of Boggy Creek. Fook Monster, of course. So are we... We're going to read out three today. So what do you want to do? You want to come up with some monsters, Bob? Monsters of the place there.

All right. So, I mean, Dave, I'll do the place. You do the name. Jess, you do the monster. Okay, hang on. I'm going to see if there's a cryptid generator. Fantastic. Oh, I reckon you should freeball it.

No, no. Well, you load that up. So I'm saying the place name, is that right? Sure. From Brisbane in Queensland, hello, and thank you to. Chloe Yates. Chloe Yates has the mist whisperer of Brisbane. The mist whisper.

That's spooky out. Mist whisper. Yeah. It's like a misty morning. Yeah, and you just hear this creepy whisper. That's scary a shit. It's not like a horse whisperer, someone who can communicate with mist. No.

It's a whisperer coming from the mist. Yes. Oi, mist, piss off. You're ruining my view. Hey, come on. Hey, get out of here. O'ie, shoe. Can't see it.

Normally can see the city from here. Fuck off. Fuck off. Uh, Chloe Yates, the mist whisperer of Brisbane. Who else are we got here, Davey boy? I would like to thank from Mayan Yupp in Western Australia. It's Carmel Page. The void soarer of Mayan Yip.

That sounds really good, doesn't it? The void Sora. Sora. Sora. That's really better. Mayanup. Is it Mayanup?

Oh yes. I might have said mine. Yupp. Well, no. I do. The way you said it sounded so confident

I thought you must have known in the place. I just have never heard it. I'm afraid. And finally, for this episode, Dave. I would like to thank from Nuna Wadding

here in Victoria. It's John Sicker Dennis Walsdenholm. Oh, the fan. Oh, the fankeeper of Nana Wadding. That's so good. That's pretty cool. None of Wadding, if you don't know it, very dangerous place. Very, a lot of bushland. Definitely no big shops like J.B. High Fires and none of those. Thank you so much to John Carmel and Chloe. I mean, what a thrill it must be for you to be shouted out on this day of days. What a thrill for you. Congratulations.

What a thrill. That's a high honor. massive. And the last thing that we need to do, Dave, is welcome someone into the Tripitch Club. We've actually just got the one inductee today. One new name going up on our Hall of Fame. One new name, one new person running into the clubhouse where we honor them and want to. And you can never leave. But why would you want to?

Because these people have been the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years. You go on in, which year you want, and then you enjoy food, drinks, buffet-style service. It's incredible. You can get whatever you want. There's games, there's entertainment, there's rest zones. This is Theorem of the Mind, by the way. Yeah, that's right. Legally speaking, they can't just have everything they want.

No, not. We are trying to get funding across, but the government has been ignoring all my calls. Yeah. He is just typing in government into his phone and then yelling at it. Yeah, and they're ignoring for years. Very rude. Have you know a better way to get in contact with the government?

I'd feel like that. But God, they find a way to get contact with you and they want their tax money, don't they? Yeah. And Jess, you're all behind the bar in the club. What have you got cooking? Frog in a pond. Oh, so good.

Wow. That's so good. Yeah, I got frog on a pond. So spooky. Jelly or jello, maybe to Americans. Chocolate frog. Yep. What more do you need?

What more do you need? Enjoy. A scoop of ice cream or no? Bon Appet. You can ask for one. Yep. I want that on the side if I was allowed to. Okay.

Keep that free from my jelly, please. Alamode. All right, so we win. We've got the one inductee this week. I'm on the door. I've got the clipboard. I've got the guest list with one name on it. I'm going to read it out.

Dave's going to do a bit of weak wordplay to celebrate their induction based on their name or their place of address. That's right. I've also booked a band. Oh, and Dave's also booked a band. Holy shit. You're not going to believe it. We're talking about the Fouk Monster.

And to perform their hit Fook Monster, please welcome after this Billy Cole and the Fook Monsters Whoa! What are the chances? They've really lent in. Yes, that's their only song. Okay, are they going to play that a few times? I think they only get it for two and a half minutes as well.

Okay. We'll have to loop that a few times. It'll be worth it. Maybe they can do some covers as well. Yeah, and they do that thing where they go introduce the band. They'll do a solo. Yeah, that's right. That always takes up some time.

Do an encore, you know, they go off for five minutes. We've got Tina on Banja. We love to be. Tina. Yeah, luckily they've got 17 members. Yeah, that bit takes up 90% of the set. All right. So Dave's going to hype them up.

Jess will hop up Dave because he's in this, at least. We pretend that he's doing a fantastic job. Thank you. We pretend both of those things. Neither are true. He's doing a bad job and he loves himself. He has no idea. Theatre of the mind.

Put that curtain back down. All right. So you ready, Dave? Yes. All right, from Norwich. Please welcome. In Norfolk. Norfolk.

Norfolk home of the Great Alan Partridge in Great Britain. North Norfolk Digital. It is, I hope his mid-morning matters are assorted. It's Chris. Some people are packing heat, but I'm Zach in heat. What does that mean? It's my, Zach's my secret little weapon

Say a little to my little friend Is he in your pants? I think it means I've got a gun Something you can say Pack and heat But also it can mean a wang But you know In this case you mean a weapon

Yeah, Zach is my weapon Got it Right That was awesome That was so good That was actually so awesome Normally Jess has to fake it And I'm the only one allowed to be honest

But now I can be honest As normal and say Yeah That was sick Yeah As Cam James would say Red Hot. That was red hot. Thank you, Cam.

That brings us to the end of this part one of our 500th extravaganza. But don't worry, you don't have to wait another week for a new episode this time. Yeah. You just have to wait 24 hours. Whoa. Not even. By the time you've heard this. Probably 23 hours.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Good luck getting some sleep tonight. Yeah. It's like Santa Claus is coming. to drop off a third of a present. He's coming to drop off the batteries he forgot. Tomorrow's episode is probably the one that will divide audiences the most.

Can't wait to hear which side you fall on. Anything else we need to tell people, Jess? No, just that we love them so much. Thank you so much for, I don't know, being a part of 500 episodes. That's absolutely bonkers to us. And we're so grateful to everybody who came out to see the live show. hopefully you've been able to hear your own laugh on the recording. If you want to see photos from it and maybe and some clips,

follow us at Doogon Pod on Instagram, probably on TikTok, YouTube and other places as well. See them there. Dave Birdie's Baby home. All right, everyone. See you tomorrow. Goodbye. Bye.

Later. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months. later. Oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam free guarantee.