Two In The Think Tank - 505 - Mexican President Santa Anna and His Crazy Antics

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

This week we look at the wild and colourful life of Antonio López de Santa Anna, president of Mexico no less than 11 times!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:52 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Antonio_L%C3%B3pez_de_Santa_Annahttps://www.britannica.com/biography/Antonio-Lopez-de-Santa-Annahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_L%C3%B3pez_de_Santa_Anna#https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/who-invented-gum https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_heads_of_state_of_Mexico https://www.thealamo.org/remember/military-occupation/independence-and-annexation#:~:text=On%20December%2027%2C%201845%2C%20U.S.,28th%20state%20of%20the%20Union. https://www.britannica.com/event/Battle-of-the-Alamo-San-Antonio-Texas-United-States-1836https://www.britannica.com/event/Pastry-Warhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican%E2%80%93American_Warhttps://www.britannica.com/event/Mexican-American-War/Invasion-and-war Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello there do go on friends It is me Matt Stewart letting you know that I've got a couple of big tours coming up in Australia and the UK The Australian tour is happening this August 2025 going to Brisbane Sydney Newcastle Adelaide and Hobart and then over to the UK in September for Edinburgh Cambridge Birmingham Manchester Swansea and London. Holy moly, I'm so pumped up. Our tickets are all on sale. Get them via matstew at comedy.com and I'll see you there. Hello and welcome to another episode of To Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Hi. Hey, Dave. So good to be alive. So good to be here. A lot. You know what? I love doing this. Great. This is my- I look forward to it every week apart from when I'm doing the report and I love.

Two thirds of your weeks are great. No, I do. I look forward to it even when I'm doing the report. Actually often, especially when I'm doing the report. Hi, Matt. Hey Jess, how's it going? Jesus Christ. Do you look forward to this, Jess, every week?

No, I just, you know, he just goes, oh, hi Dave, and starts talking to you. And I'm like, am I invisible? I got distracted. But Justin, I really love, well, you're a big part of the reason I love doing this. I reckon you're 50% of it. Dave's the other 50. Yeah, that's nice. That's fair actually. Fuck, that's interesting.

Cause I would actually say you, Matt, are 50% of why I like doing this. And the other 50 is that we put lunch on the company card. Oh, yeah. I'm already thinking about it. I really love free lunch. Actually, I brought my lunch today. But anyway. There's a bit of a technicality there where it's actually still our money, but

it's not really free. The only way for it to be free lunch would be for you just to give me your lunch for free. Can I have it? You can have double lunch for sure. Yes. That sounds like a really good deal. You guys can split it and have like time and a half lunch. What am I having?

Whatever you want. Oh, you're saying I have to give you the lunch I brought? Yeah. Oh, okay. Bit of pesto pasta. I'm in. Pesto pasta. That sounds fantastic.

Jess, while you're on such a tear this morning. Yes. Feels like you're really here. I'm raring. You're present, you're raring to go. Do you want to explain how this show works? I don't. Okay, Dave, how about you?

No, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay. So, how this show works, if you're joining us for the first time, this is just our vibe. We're having a bit of fun. Nobody's angry at each other. I just want to reassure you. I'm not going to steal Jess' lunch. No, I'm going to eat my lunch.

And Matt and I are very much in love. Um, how this show works is one of the three of us research as a topic often suggested to us by our fantastic listeners. Um, they go away, they research it, they live it. They write up a little year nine, year 10 ish level report and tell the other two about it who listened very politely, who never interrupt, who never go on dogshit riffs and certainly never point out when the report giver says something a bit incorrect. And this week it is Dave's turn, aka everyone's favourite report giver. In fact, we've had

to stop putting that in the votes on the Patreon Awards each year because it hurts our feelings too much. Sorry Jess, just to pull you up, point of order of order. Um, he's not everyone's favorite. He doesn't win a hundred percent of the vote. Yeah. I certainly wouldn't vote for me cause I also prefer it when I don't have to do the homework. Okay. Thank you. That did make me feel better. Most people's favorite. Uh, yeah, I don't even know if he's the majority. I can't remember. Well, if he's winning, he has to have the majority, you know?

Well, not the majority. No, I think you and I together might be bigger than his share. Shit, we're coming for you, Waterkey. Key word there is might. Might. Yeah, Dave, I'm confident Dave knows the numbers from years ago. He's playing it cool, but he knows. This is all I have.

But anyway, we get onto the topic with a question. Dave, do you have a question for us? Yes. Might be a good report writer, but not a great question writer. So just go with me on this. It is a few clues here. You can buzz in, each have a question for us? Yes. Maybe a good report writer, but not a great question writer. So just go with me on this. Um, it is, um, a few clues here. You can buzz in each have a go after each clue. Who am I or what am I?

I am a country. Australia. Argentina. I have 31 States. Poor. Canada doesn't have States. Uh, and it doesn't. Well, America has more than that. Yeah, that's true. They say like how many, how many months of the year have states. And it doesn't have many. Well, America has more than that.

Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? When they say like how many months of the year have 28 days and it's actually all of them? It could be a trick question. It's great. I have a total of 31. A total of 31, okay.

Maybe it's the United States in like 1896 or something. Yeah. We will be discussing that actually. Oh. Oh my God. Is it the United States? Okay, I don't know. It's a big country, I'm guessing.

I have a population of approximately 130 million people, making me... Brazil? The third largest country in Latin America. Ooh. Third largest in Latin America. Chile. Colombia. Getting closer.

Peru. Getting further away. I share borders with Guatemala and Belize in the southeast and the United States of America in the north. Oh, okay, Mexico. Yes, my next one was, my capital is Mexico City. I am Mexico. And today we are talking about Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana, one of Mexico's most famous

presidents, and his crazy antics. Yes, we love a president with crazy antics. Oh my goodness. We love anyone with crazy antics. But it is fun when they're in like an insane position of power. Yes, and more fun usually in the rearview mirror. Yes, yes, yes. That was a long time ago.

From the history books. Yes. When it's happening at the moment, I don't know, I'm not suggesting it is. No. But if it was happening at the moment, that's less fun. Not funny, not funny. Certainly not for the constituents. Yeah, true.

Of El Presidente. Yes. Et cetera. So I put up the lives of eight world leaders from across the globe. All the continents, except Antarctica, were covered. I found them all suggested in our hat and the Patreon supporters voted to hear about Santa Anna. Cool.

Thank you to only one person suggested this topic, but they had a really great pitch, which also I think helped the Patreon supporters gravitate towards this suggestion. And thank you to Henry Smith from Cumbria in the UK. Well done Henry. This one goes out to you Henry. Love you Henry. Sorry, too soon.

Henry, we really like you and we're interested to see where this goes. Yeah, you know, we've had a really great time. Yeah. And I feel a spark. I would like to see you again. Yeah, I want to piss you this. I'm not seeing anybody else. Yeah, from now on. From now on. I've already sent a couple of texts. I'm making some phone calls, yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah not seeing anybody else. Yeah. From now on. From now on. I'm making some phone

calls. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, text probably better. Henry's left you on read. I'm sending some different texts. Henry, just following up. Lol jokes. Henry has left the chat. Henry, sorry, I think you accidentally might have but left the chat. I'm just bringing you back into the chat to see what are you thinking? You know, I'm available Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Yeah. Morning or night. Could also be, you know, could move some stuff around, be available Monday, Tuesday,

Wednesday also. Yes. Don't have a lot going on. I know Noel got a lot going on. Yes, but I could move it for you. Could move it for you, Henry. So just as an all too brief background here, previously on Mexico. I'll fucking love a previously on. Me too.

It just spoils everything that this episode's about to be about. You know what I mean? Why would we need to know that? When you're watching a show and they're like previously on and they're bringing up something that happened a season ago and you're like, okay, so that's going to come back. Yeah, of course. That doctor is back. Yeah, I've never, I hadn't thought of that lady for like six months.

Yeah. Oh, okay. So now I know exactly what's going to happen in this episode that I'm about to watch. I watched the previous one when I've just watched the episode. Yeah. And they're recapping something that I just watched in the last hundred seconds of my life. Exactly right. Yeah.

That's always, cause- Your shows are pretty short, aren't they? Pretty short. Back in the day, TV wasn't for binging. And now you're like, I don't need a previously on. OK, these episodes just rolled into each other. OK, this is one big movie. Yeah, thank you. So in the late 1700s, Mexico was ruled by Spain, as Matt previously

reported on mentioned in the El Dorado episode. The Spanish arrived in the 16th century and declared the area that included what is now Mexico, the southwestern United States, California, Florida and Louisiana and the northern part of Columbia to be New Spain. Love it. Another original name. I like it. Actually.

It's fresh. It's hip. It's different. It's not your papa's Spain. Yeah. Ugh. The Spain my parents grew up in? No thanks.

Yuck. This is new Spain. This is a new one. Our hats are backwards and we're all getting around on skateboards. Yep. That would be awesome. Yeah. They established the new capital, Mexico City, on the site of Tenochtitlan, the capital of the Aztec Empire.

Central Mexico became the base of expeditions of exploration and conquest, expanding the territory claimed by the Spanish Empire. As well as subduing the local indigenous to the area, they were also challenged by rival European powers. From Britannica here, when France established colonies in Louisiana, the Spanish crown countered with settlements in Texas. Similarly, when motivated by the possibility

of a Russian threat on the Pacific coast, the Spaniards began colonies in Louisiana, Texas, and Upper California. Throughout the 18th century, there were incessant boundary disputes between Spain, Britain, and France, and subsequently the United States and some territories changed hands several times. Right. So this is the world the person at the center of our story was born into. The year was 1794, and that man was named, gotta clear my throat and take

a deep breath here, Antonio de Padua Maria Severino Lopez de Santa Ana y Perez de Lebron. Oh yeah. Got it, locked and loaded. Whoa. Beautiful. Fortunately known to history as Santa Ana. Okay, great. Beautiful name for a boy or a girl.

Yeah. And yeah, love that. I also love how childish they all sound like, the European powers there. Oh, you want that? Well, I want it too. Yeah. Oh, you're moving over there? Yeah, we already were. Oh, you're in Louisiana.

I didn't even want to go to Louisiana, so I'm going to Texas because that's way cooler. Shut up. Mom! Yeah. Spain's trying to take Texas, but I already was there. I had it first. Play fair. Can you?

Settle down, you lot. He didn't even ask if he could borrow it. It's mine. France, give it back. He was born in Zalapa, the capital city of the Mexican state of Veracruz on the east coast of Mexico. Santa Ana's family belonged to the Criollo middle class. His family was a respected Spanish family and the family prospered in Veracruz where

their merchant class dominated politics. He was one of seven children. Which leads to a question. Well, do they know what's causing it? Apparently not. OK. Too many. Is this before, because this is a while ago, is this before what's causing it? Apparently not. Okay. Too many. Is this before, cause this is a while ago, is this before science realized what happened?

What was causing it? Yeah. I'd say lose one or have another. Seven's a weird number. Seven's a lucky number to some. Is it? Yeah. Unlucky for others.

Lucky seven. You don't know the phrase lucky seven? No. It's a phrase that's always dripping from my lips. Swallow. It's always dripping from my lips. Yes. If I've had some sort of dental work done.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mouth's still a bit numb. Yeah. Like a seven. As the dentist has taken out the seven too, that's my lucky number. Lucky seven. He's taking out all of them. He demanded them take seven out.

They're like, only one needs to come out. No, seven. Just said nine more. Yeah. Round it up to ten. The young Santa Anna, Santa Anna, Santa Anna. I'm not sure how I'm going to say this. I'll just say a bit of both.

The young Santa Santa Anna wanted to join the military and in June 1810 at the age of 16, he joined the Fille de Veracruz Infantry Regiment under the command of Jose Joaquin de Arredondo. Oh my God, that's a great name. There are some amazing names in this report. Joaquin is always great. But if you end it with Dondo? Yeah, Arredondo.

Arredondo. Oh, hello. So that was that was his boss. I can see that. That's the kind of name that I could see dripping from my mouth. Arradondo. So that's his boss. This is a time when Spain was still in charge. So he was working for Spain.

Being an officer in a time of war was a way that a provincial middle class man could vault from relative obscurity to a position of leadership, and Santa Anna distinguished himself in battle, a path that led him to a national political career. According to the New World Encyclopedia, which is a great article that I'll of course link to, they write, Santa Anna spent the next year's battling insurgents and policing the Indian tribes of the internal provinces. Like most Creole officers in the Royalist Army, he remained loyal to Spain for a number of years and fought against the movement for Mexican independence.

So there were these rebellions cropping up and he's in the army that would say, no, Spain is in charge. Oh, that yeah. The army just go around saying no. No. Drop it. What did I say? Drop it. I'll just go around saying no. No. Drop it. What did I say? Drop it.

I'm going to count to three. Talking to the rebellions like they're dogs. Yeah. That's how I talk to children. I'm much nicer to dogs. Sit. Off it. Off the couch.

Get off the couch. On your bed. On your bed. I've seen dog people. I always tell them to go on their beds? Yeah. On your bed. On your bed.

On your bed. So we've just arrived at the Mexican War for Independence, which was not a single war, but actually a series of local and regional struggles that occurred across an 11 year period. And like I said, during much of this time, Santa Ana was on the side crushing rebellion and his commanding officer taught him about dealing with Mexican nationalist rebels. In 1811, Santa Ana was wounded in the arm by an arrow whilst on a campaign against northern Indian tribes.

And then in a bit of foreshadowing of his future career, Santa Ana in 1821, after fighting against the rebels for over a decade, switched sides and joined the fight for independence. Huh. This would become a pattern of his life. Britannica writes, he fought on both sides of nearly every issue of the day. Great. Arguing with themselves sometimes.

Well, I'm just gonna have to disagree there, man. Do you think it's just very easily swayed? Yeah, I think he just goes, whichever way the wind's blowing. I'm happy to go with you. Yeah, OK. He declared his loyalty to the insurgent leader El Libertador, the future emperor of Mexico, Agustín I. Santana rose to prominence by quickly driving the Spanish forces out of the vital port city of Veracruz in 1821.

These are the people he'd previously been fighting for. Mexico declared independence in that year on September the 28thth and Augustine was declared emperor early the next year. So you've kicked out one emperor, put in another. After Santa Ana declared his loyalty to the emperor, the monarch rewarded him with the rank of general. Yet in 1823, Santa Ana was among the military leaders supporting the Plan de Casa Mata to overthrow the emperor and declare Mexico a republic. I did read that Santa Anna would later admit in his recollections that at that time he did not know what a republic was.

Good. Good to fight with. Yeah, good to really get involved in the fight then. You guys have a plan? That actually sounds like a good plan. Can I get involved there? He just said the word pub? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, you're sure you're sure I don't care as long as the drinks wet

That seems like that's a dripping from my lips As long as the drinks Long the drinks wet? I don't mind where we go mate, as long as the drinks wet. Do you reckon it sounds like something that they would say? They being people very different from me? Yeah, definitely not you obviously. I don't think you could pull that off, but I think other people definitely could and do. Mate, as long as the beer's wet, I'm in. That's slightly better, yes.

That's slightly better. I don't care what the drink is as long as it's wet is not quite as good. That makes us, that makes a bit more sense. Okay. Still strange. Cause it could be like a hot wet beer and that'd be yuck. Oh yeah. As long as it's cold and wet, mate. No, it's gotta be cold. Okay. As long as it's cold and wet, mate. Yeah, that's better. Yeah. That's better. Good to workshop these things. So for the second time in less than two years, he's changed sides.

And Agustin, the first, soon abdicated as the emperor and was later executed. Okay. I guess to make sure he wasn't coming back. It's like a vampire. Separate the head. Exactly. Because otherwise they'll come back. I think they thought he was a vampire. Separate the head. Exactly. Because otherwise they'll come back. I think they thought he was a vampire.

Do you just like, do you just have to cut the head off and then you can still bury the two bits together or do you have to like put the, hide the head? I think you play, you play hide the head. Yeah. Vampires hate games. Yeah, that's true. They're very, they're very straight and true types, you know. Hey, I'm a sharp shooter.

I'm a straight shooter. I'm a vampire. All right. But you don't play games? I don't want to play games. As long as the blood's wet. I don't care where we are. As long as the blood's wet and cold. I'm over to sup on it.

OK. Doesn't have to be cold. I actually prefer warm blood. I'll sup on it. Yeah, I'll sup on the cold. I actually prefer warm blood. I'll sup on it. Yeah. I'll sup on the blood. As long as it's warm and wet. I'm sup on the blood. I've had enough of this bit now. The warm wet blood. I don't play games.

That grossed me out. All right. Now where's my head? Now where's, where's my body? Where's my head? All right. Not mucking around here. Return my head to the body, please. So they killed their vampire emperor.

Sure. Got to set up for whatever. A federal republic was declared and a provisional government with six leaders was in charge, one of whom was called Nicholas Bravo. My new favourite name. That's very good. If we for the next series of D&D have new character names, I would like to put forward early for me, Nicholas Bravo. Make a note. but I think-

I won't remember, but yes. Yeah, I'll forget. But unfortunately, I do think our characters will be continuing. And I say, unfortunately, because obviously you are desperate to not be married to me anymore. Actually, I forgot we were married. What happens in D&D? Can you- That's a bit of a spoiler for people who aren't up that far, but which is a real no-no indeed. But this guy knows. I know. I know.

He knows. I like no-no. But yeah, what if we die? Do we just stop playing? Yeah. Or do you come back as a new character? You have to come to the recording to sit this home. Ah, ah, remember you're dead.

Don't influence the game, please. No input from you, thanks. You're not there. Did I have to come to work? Shut up. Shut up. And yes. Go get me a coffee. Quietly.

So there's a new government in charge, including Nicholas Brava, the six leaders. In this period, which is 1824, our guy Santa Anna was appointed governor of the state of Yucatan. Again, from the New World Encyclopedia, or I like to call it the New. On his own initiative, I couldn't just couldn't be bothered saying heaps of times. On his own initiative, Santa Anna prepared to invade Cuba, which remained under Spanish rule, but he possessed neither the funds nor sufficient support for such an adventure.

OK. But if he had that, that's what he'd be doing. He'd be off doing that. It's on his wish board. Yeah. Yeah. His wish board. What do you call those things? Wish boards. A vision board. Vision board. It's on his vision board.

He's got a little army there. Well, actually, 1000 Mexicans were already on ships to sail to Cuba, so he was drastically underprepared. He's like, we're going to do this anyway. When word came that Spain were reinforcing their colony with even more people. So the invasion was called off. They do a U-turn? Yeah, they just turn back. Oh, what's that? They've got even more people.

Ah, back it up, guys. Sorry, I think I left something at home. Very important. We should go back for it. I think that's one of the funniest things, pretending that you were always U-turning, you know, not just the, oh, shit. Yeah, here we go. In 1829, Spain made its final attempt to retake Mexico in Tampa with an invading force of 2600 soldiers.

Santa Ana marched against the Barraadas expedition with a much smaller force and defeated the Spaniards, many of whom were suffering from yellow fever. So not from that part of the world they came and got very, very sick. Santa Anna was declared a hero, which he relished. And from then on, he styled himself as the victor of Tampico or the savior of the motherland. What's yellow fever again? It's kind of a tropical disease. Right.

Nasty, but he was apparently pretty immune to it because he grew up in that area. Gotcha. On the East Coast. There you go. Santa Ana is so familiar. Is things named after him? There's a city in California, I looked it up, it's not named after him. Okay.

I also thought so. Yeah. Is there a car? The Hyundai Santa Ana? Oh yeah, Santa Fe. Santa Fe. Is that Ana's, probably Ana's sister, Fe. Yeah.

Younger sister Fe. Younger sister Fe. Sorry, no, that's my younger sister, Hyundai fae. So he's the victor of Tamago, the saviour of the motherland. This was one of many nicknames he gave himself or pushed to be called. He gave himself. And you could hear, you just said that like he pushed to be called this and you are understanding it's a bit lame to try and push your own nickname.

No, who would do that? Who would do that? Who would do that? What a lame thing to do. It's so uncool. It's a bit desperate, try and push your own nickname. No, who would do that? Who would do that? Who would do that? What a lame thing to do. So desperate, isn't it? That's right. That's why. And I tell people, don't call me Cobra. Yeah. Oh, Cobra.

You say Cobra. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm off it again. I was warming to Cobra. Cobra. I don't know about Cobra. You're no Cobra. You're a Cobra. I'm a Cobra. Yeah. How dare you? I'm not a Cobra. You're no Cobra. You're a Cobra. I'm a Cobra. Yeah. How dare you? I'm not a Cobra. I'm a Cobra. Another one he definitely coined was the Napoleon of the West.

Oh. Napoleon was big in Europe just before this. He's like, I'm Napoleon from here. He thinks of Mexico as west of Europe? West of somewhere. Yeah, I guess we're all west of somewhere. I would have thought he'd be the, wouldn't he be the Napoleon of the South or something compared to France? I don't know.

It is southern from France, yeah. But is it also west of France? If you go far enough, I guess. Yeah, that's right. So he's got these nicknames. Hyperbole aside, this really was a significant victory as it really put an end to Spain attempting to retake the territory and consolidate the independence of the new Mexican Republic. Okay.

Santa Ana then declared himself retired, quote, unless my country needs me. Unless? He's asking for an encore. Mate, we know you haven't played your hit yet. Yeah, come on. We know you're covered back. Come on. Don't make us go through all this.

You've only got one number one hit. Come on. You're going to play it. Come on. Nice, nice baby. We know you're playing it. So, Christopher, you haven't played Lady in Red yet. Come on.

And I don't even, have you even played the Ferryman? I don't think so. Come on, mate. Come on. We know what's coming. Honestly, he's just wasted the last 90 minutes of my life. It's been fantastic. It's been great.

Just checking out those beautiful brows, world-class brows. Great work, Christenburg. He was actually retired for a very short time as even though they'd got the Spanish monkey off their backs, it was hardly instant smooth sailing for the new Mexican government. Just three months after the final victory over Spain, President Vicente Guerrero was challenged in a coup d'etat by his conservative vice president, Anastacio Bostamante. Some great names and we love a coup d'etat. Yes.

I'm not sure if it was a two day coup d'etat, but it was pretty quick, I think. The challenge was successful and President Guerrero was captured and executed after a summary trial. And this shocked many across the nation because he'd gone from being the president to being a headless vampire. Yeah. A little too quick for a lot of people. OK. I got to tell you, looking at the map, it's very much just straight west. It's a little southwest.

It's funny how I picture the map with Australia in the center. Yeah. Because I'm such an egomaniac. That's funny how I picture the map with Australia in the centre. Yeah. Because I'm such an egomaniac. That's right. And in that case, it's East. But I think probably if you were in Mexico, you would see that as West of France. Okay. So I know that people will be screaming at their iPods right now. Where you can suck those screams back in. Yeah. And bottle them up.

Bottle them up. Push them down. Push them right down. Push those screams down because they're not wanted here. Okay. And they're not warranted. They're not warranted here either. But no, it is.

Yeah, it is pretty much just a little southwest, but pretty west. So apologies to Santa Ana there. I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously he knew. You don't go off half cocked and come up with a nickname like that without checking out a map. Exactly right. You look at the map. You'd be foolish not to.

Yeah. Dave, what about Cobra of the South? Happy with that. Okay. Cobra of the South. I was going to say trick just but. Got him. Got him a beauty.

So President Guerrero was challenged by his Vice President Bustamante. Bustamante. Bustamante. I know, it's so good. And he comes back. All these people come back. Bustamante is so great. He was the new president because he killed the old president.

Santa Anna declared himself to be in rebellion against the new president Bustamante. And there was a bloody conflict that ended in 1833 with Santa Anna forcing the resignation of Bustamante's cabinet and an agreement to new elections. Santa Anna put his name up for election. Remember, he said, if my country needs me. If you need me. Yeah, I mean, happy to just retire in peace, but yell if you need anything. They keep drawing me back in. If you need me, if you need me. It's a real wing attack in that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. if you need me, it's a real wing attack Yeah, and he won on April the first 1833

That means they needed him He's like I'll put my name in if you don't need me don't vote for me. Yeah, no worries. No harm done. No harm No, fail. I'm happy to just go back to my yeah hot tub I'm the kind of person that won't take any offense. That won't. I've gotten really into gardening in my retirement and I, you know, I've got a beautiful crop of strawberries coming. So if you don't need me, happy to. I'll just be, if you know, if you do need me, I'll be munching on some strawberries.

Yeah. If you need some strawberries, bloody pop on by. But. Oh, you voted for me. Well, I guess they needed me. I was going to be the president of strawberries, but I guess. Okay. I don't know why strawberries is the first, but I guess. OK, be the president. I don't know why strawberries is the first thing I thought of.

That's luxury. Beautiful fruit. It's a beautiful fruit. That's true. Is it a Mexican fruit? Hmm. I don't know. They have some great fruits there. They do. I don't know if strawberries is one of them. I'll get back to you. I'm sure they have them. I'm saying like, you know, is that the right sort of temperament?

Yeah. Temperament? The, you know, you know what I mean. Yeah, get what you mean. So he was elected as April 1st, which is April Fool's Day, quite appropriate as whilst Santa Anna desired the title of El Presidente, he was not really interested in governing. No. According to Mexican historian, Enrique Krautz, it annoyed him and bored him and perhaps frightened him. OK. So he wants to be called president, but he's like, it annoyed him and bored him and perhaps frightened him. Okay.

So he wants to be called president, but he's like, I can't do work. Don't make me actually like do stuff. Oh my God. During this period, he became known as the absentee president as his vice president, Valentin Gomez-Ferayes had to frequently take over governing whilst he went away, sometimes retiring to Manga de Clavo, his beautiful hacienda in Veracruz. Oh my god.

Literally going to the hot tub. Love that. Manga tiaro. Manga de Clavo. There was no end to it. No. Manga de Clavo. So good.

It's very nice. Love it very much. They had this beautiful property that he would often just retreat to and go, I'm good. You keep going at me. Yep. Jess, can I say this? That you were, you're in the real ballpark here. So apparently the modern strawberry is actually a cross-bred strawberry,

which initially occurred in France in the 1750s. Oh, the strawberries of the East. The two strawberries that they brought together, one was from Eastern North America, the Fragaria Virginiana. That's probably not how they would say it. And I don't know what to do with the sort of Italian accent. And the other one from Chile, the Fragaria Cielonesis. Great. So I was-

Chile, yeah, you were spot on. Spot on. He was at the forefront of strawberries. Yeah, where's Chile compared to Mexico? Close, sort of. Well, if it's- Is that the long skinny one? Are you saying the northeast of North America?

And Chile's in the south. You know, it's halfway in between. Mexico. There you go. Now it just- Hey, the meeting point. Mexico, I think, is actually Spanish for meeting point of strawberries. Wow, I didn't come across that.

Yeah. Love it though. Well, I just made it up, Dave. Oh. Very unlikely if you'd have come across. How could you have come across it before I made it up? That's how good I am. And you're the one telling the story? Jess, I've lost all confidence in this guy. What's he even talking about? Does he know?

Not that we're letting him get much in. I'm talking about- Yeah, say a word, mate. I dare you. Our Presidente Santa Ana, who- He's in the hot tub instead of Presidente. He frequently just walked away from the job and said to the Vice President, you're in charge now.

The Wiki page of List of Mexican Heads of State is truly wild. This is how it goes. And it says how long they were president for. Santa Ana, this is when he first took over, 18 days. His deputy then takes over 15 days. Back to Santa Ana, 17 days. Then Gomez, he's a vice president, 114 days. Okay. Then Santa Ana is back for 49 days.

Okay. As long as stretch yet. Yeah. Then Gomez Farias is back for 129 days. Okay. This guy's got some real stick-to-it-iveness. And during this time, Gomez-Ferayes promoted several liberal reforms that led to the discontent of conservatives and the church who did not like that he was rooting out corruption and

stepping on the toes of the wealthy and powerful. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, we've had that corruption for a long time. The system works for us. If it ain't broke, don't fix it for us. So Santa Ana is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're pissing off the rich people. He took over again and he aligned with the conservatives. Gomez Farias, the vice president, went into exile and Santa Ana returned to the presidency

this time for 278 days. Whoa. So he did like nine months where he declared the constitution suspended, disbanded the Congress and worked to concentrate power in the central government. Several Mexican states went into open rebellion against this, including what is present day Texas and the well-armed state of Zacatecas. Santa Ana handballed the presidency to another guy called Miguel Barragan. And with this, Santa Ana took his army and first shut down the rebellion in

Zacatecas and then marched into present day Texas. He saw rebellion. You know, he's good at crushing rebellion. He's got experience back when he was on the other side. Yeah. And now he's going up into Texas to stop these rebellions. At the time, the state that he was going into was Coahuila Iteas. And together with colonists from America, they went into rebellion in 1935

and declared themselves to be independent in 1836. This is known as the Texas Revolution. And at first, the Texians had a string of victories that drove the Mexican federal forces south of the Rio Grande. This is when Santana was like, oh, I, I've got to do something about these rebellions. So he marched north to bring Texas back under Mexican control and most of the victorious Texas volunteer rebel army went home. I think they were like, oh, I don't think we're going to win anymore.

So they left. Small garrisons were left at several towns, including what is now San Antonio, where the Texans occupied a former Spanish mission called the Alamo, named for the tall cottonwood trees that surrounded it. And this would become known as the Battle of the Alamo, a very famous battle. I've heard of it. Yeah, Willie Nelson pissed on it. No, Ozzy Osbourne pissed on it.

Pissed on the Alamo. Pissed on the Alamo. Is that right? Why'd he piss on it? He just needed a piss. It was just wrong place, wrong time. Just what are the chances? Pissed on the Alamo. Pissed on the Alamo. Is that right? Why did he piss on it? I just needed a piss. It was just wrong place, wrong time. Just what are the chances?

But he got done for it. Oh gosh, Ozzy. I mean, he got up to a lot of things. Sharon. I need a piss. I heard a clip of him and Sharon being interviewed. Oh. And he go.

Somebody started talking. I thought you were going to say him and Sharon being interviewed. Oh, and he goes. So when we started talking, I thought you were going to say him and Sharon being intimate. Oh, no, I heard a clip. Fascinating stuff. Really romantic stuff. And it went a little something like this. No, but he was talking about. He went away on a holiday with Sharon to Japan and he forgot, he went out and he forgot that they went over there together and he brought a woman home and she like smashed him over the head with

a picture frame. And he's like, I could remember it was a long flight. We went to get on the flight. And Sharon's like, yes, I did. Yes, I did. I hit him over the head. What a couple. What a couple.

Hey, marriage goals, you know. I forgot. But that's not the problem, Ozzy. It's not like I went out to get a snack and forgot that Sharon was there and I came back with only a snack for me. Well in so many ways you did but that's not the problem is that you forgot you were there to- yeah okay. Yep.

In my defense I didn't think you were going to be there. Yeah. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known you were going to be there. I wouldn't have done it if I knew I was going to get caught. I would have got a hotel room, not a fucking idiot. I'm not a moron, Sharon. Well, it's just funny that that's them telling this funny little anecdote in an interview. And they're both like, yeah, that is how it happened.

It is funny, well, not to the same degree at all, but when you had a fight so long ago that now you can laugh about it, that's just where they're at. They've been married for 400 years and they're like, ha ha, remember that time? Yeah, so much other wild stuff has happened. They're like, oh yeah, that's probably not even the top thousand. Yeah, yeah. Remember that time he couldn't work a universal remote?

Shut up! And the dog kept shitting inside. I wonder if that's available anywhere. Worth rewatching Osborns from 2002. Should we rewatch it? Yeah. Let's set up the big screens downstairs and just have a binge of the Osborns. Eight hours. So in 1982, he pissed on the Alamo Sanitaph and was arrested.

I didn't know this well. And he was banned from the Alamo until he ended up apologising and made a donation. And I think he's now allowed back to the Alamo. Right. Has he gone back for a piss since? He's talking shit. Fairly went there in 2015. But I believe he went before.

They made sure. Sharon made sure. Ozzy, have you been? Yeah. Maybe you should go just in case. Just the safety one. One for safety, Ozzy. So, at the Battle of the Alamo.

According to Britannica, Sam Houston, the commanding general of the revolutionary army, had earlier left the mission with the main body of his troops, believing it could not be easily defended. And what's a great way to defend a place? Have even less troops. Yeah, yeah. Only a small militia force remained. The co-commanders William Travis and James Bowie did not credit warnings that Santa Anna was coming and did little to lay food supplies or ammunition.

Mm hmm. They've heard rumours that a big army's coming. They're like, nah. Wait, yeah, this is the thing. What are they going to expect you to do? Probably get more people be prepared, have food and ammunition. Yep. So what do you do if you're clever?

The opposite. Underprepared have not enough people. Yeah. They'll want, I imagine what's going to happen is Santa Anna is going to rock on and go, I don't know what to do with this. I never saw this coming. I was preparing a big battle. What the hell?

Well, just be able to walk in there. There's like one family in there. He does a U-turn. Yeah was preparing a big battle. What the hell? Well, I'd just be able to walk in there. There's like one family in there. He does a U-turn. Yeah. That's what happens. Santa Anna and his army arrived on February 23. Estimates vary for the size of the army, possibly all the way from 1800 men to 6000 men. OK.

What is certain is they greatly outnumbered the revolutionists who numbered 257 fighting men. So it's either 257 between 1800. That's still bad. Or up to 6000, which is really, really bad. I like when you get numbers like that, it is hard to tell. Yes. Like 2000 and 6000, I don't know if I'd be able to tell you the difference. Yeah.

I mean, if they were next to each other, I probably could. You know, there's 600, 6000 people here, 2000 people here. Which one's which? I think I could tell you. But if you just showed me one of the two groups and said, is this 6000 or 2000? I'd say, you turn and I'm out. I'd say I will answer that. I my phone is ringing.

Yes. And I it's an I have to take it to an emergency. BRB. I answer the phone. I say, what? Oh, my God. An emergency. Oh, my God. take it's an emergency. BRB. And I answer the phone and I say, what? Oh my God. What? An emergency. Oh my God. Ozzy's pissed on the.

I have to go, I'm so sorry. Sorry, Ozzy's just pissed on something again. I told him to have a safety way. I have to go. Yeah, well so did Ozzy. Please Dave, do go on. So the 257 fighting men holed up inside and bravely fought off the Mexican army over a 13 day siege.

They're greatly outnumbered. After repelling two attacks, the Texians were unable to fend off a third attack. The Texians. Yeah. They should have kept that. Texian. Yeah, probably that was the name they were using at the time. As Mexican soldiers scaled the walls, most of the Texian fighters withdrew into interior

buildings. Those who were unable to reach these points were slain by the Mexican cavalry as they attempted to escape. Almost all of the Texian inhabitants were killed. Wow. Santa Ana's execution of surrendering soldiers during the battle actually inspired many more Texians and Tejanas to join the Texian army. That part backfired.

Yeah. Because people were like, wow, this guy is so brutal, we need to rise up against him. Is there any chance that people could just, you know, sit tight, enjoy the spot they're in? What's the deal with this? We haven't really thought about it. Why can't he just send her out of place? Yeah. Yeah, this strawberry patch.

Just enjoy. Get a spa. Why is he... Why are you going to take somebody else's as well? Come on. I know. Oh, dear. Mate, wait till you hear what the English did.

Honestly. I don't want to. It'll blow your mind. I don't want to hear about it. We don't have enough time. Famous frontiersman and former US congressman Davy Crockett was one of the revolutionaries killed at the Alamo. And one of the reasons this battle is still in the popular consciousness, particularly in the USA, is the depictions of it in popular culture, including the 1950s Disney mini-series, Davy Crockett, and John Wayne's

1960 film, The Alamo, which John Wayne directed and starred in as Davy Crockett. Oh, right. I didn't, I did not, I knew we had to remember the Alamo. I had no idea why, but it was because of the thing you just talked about? Yeah. Oh, that's the battle. Yeah, yeah, that's right. There you go.

Battle which turned into, you know, a full bit of a massacre really. Yeah. Yeah. The following month, Santa Anna and his forces executed 342 Texan prisoners at the Goliad Massacre. And actually this is a referred to as a massacre. But a few weeks later, he had the tables turned on him when Sam Houston, who was commanding the revolutionary army, soundly defeated Santa Anna and his forces.

Santa Anna himself was captured. Now can I, can I guess Houston's named after Houston? That's gotta be. Gotta be, Houston? That's gotta be. Gotta be, right? That's gotta be. Otherwise, I'll tell you what, we've got a problem. Um, but... It's named after General Sam Houston. Woohoo!

Jess is right to shake her head very slowly at me there. Now she's nodding that the shake was correct. Yes. But, but yeah, I, I find that all very interesting. So the Texians, aka Texans, who were they? Were they at that point an independent state? So a big part of the area was part of Mexico. Yeah. And then in 1836, they declared themselves to be independent. So, a big part of the area was part of Mexico. Yep.

And then in 1836, they declared themselves to be independent. And then America, which had pretty recently been formed, they started claiming a bunch of Mexico. And that's why Mexico and the USA started the war of Texas. And that's what's going on here. Because basically they were saying, we want to be independent from Mexico, a large, large portion and started to revolt and Mexico, including Santa Ana, were like, no, you're part of our country.

And so it was, so particularly a special place for Texans. Is that right? Yeah, it would be because it does, this whole period does lead to Texas becoming part of the United States of America. Yeah. And that's why Willie Nelson would never piss on the Alamo as a proud Texan man. Stay weird, Austin. Stay weird. Hey, Austin, whatever you do, continue to be weird. That's number one. Number one.

Number two. Refer to number one. So he's been captured and his army has been defeated. This led to acting Texas president David G. Burnett and Santa Anna signing the treaties of Alaska because they're like, we've got the president of Mexico here. We'll get him to sign a treaty where in exchange for his life and safe passage back to Mexico, Santa Anna acknowledged the full entire and perfect independence of the Republic of Texas. Wow, perfect independence.

That's nice. Imagine getting your enemy to say that and put down that we're perfect. Yeah. Perfect. And we got real tight buns. So, I've got really, really beautiful eyes. Yeah. Write it down. Write down, I've got rock hard abs.

Write it down. Initial there. Initial on the abs, please. Write down that my dad could beat up your dad. Write down that my girlfriend is from another school and that you know that that's true. You've met her. Yeah. She's really beautiful. And she's really beautiful and great. She's really cool. And has great abs. Initial there, please. met her. Yeah, she's really beautiful and great. She's really cool. And has great abs.

So he signed this treaty and the people of Texas are like, we got what we wanted. Great. So they said to Santa Ana, all right, El Presidente, you can go home now. We'll safely take you home because we've got this agreement. Then he got home. He went back to Mexico City, and a new government declared that Santa Ana was no longer president and that the treaty was thus null and void. Oh, that's clever. That's clever by them, but jeez, I imagine that's going to annoy the people of Texas. That's really pissed off the people of Texas.

That's not the last we'll hear from them. Texas was eventually annexed by the USA in 1845, but there is a- Real dirty pool there. Yeah, that's real dodgy, isn't it? And annoying for Santa Anna too, because he's like, well, I left to fight for the country. Now I'm back. I'm not the president anymore. Yeah. So he wasn't in on it. No.

He wasn't winking at you. No, he was being like- That's right, I'm not the president anymore. Yeah, I signed the treaty. That's all good. But I'm still the president, right? And they're like, no, you are not. Just a brief detour. Santa Anna's personal life was also pretty wild. He was married twice. Whoa, Dave, what the heck? What? You can't do that. That's crazy. At the same time? Jesus.

My goodness me. Both times to wealthy young women. What? Women? Dave. Oh. wealthy young women. What? Women? Dave. Oh. And both times he did not turn up to the ceremony. Okay, that's pretty wild. That one is no wedding, yes.

So how was he married? He legally empowered his future father-in-law to serve as his proxy at his first wedding. Eww. And then at a second wedding, he got a friend to stand in for him. Do not kiss the bride. Yeah. Uh, were these weddings consummated? I believe they were often wedding- people saw them as weddings of convenience, especially

because these ladies came from very wealthy, powerful families. But with his first wife, Ines Garcia, he had four children. And did he father them? Or was that a proxy as well? He got his father-in-law and stand in. Grandpa slash dad. Two months after the death of his wife Ines in 1844, the 50-year-old Santa Anna married 16-year-old Maria de los Dolores de Tosta. You said women.

Well, the couple rarely lived together. De Tosta resided primarily in Mexico City. And she was in year 10. Did he help her with her homework? He dropped off at school. And Santa Anna his political and military activities took him around the country. Again, it was just a marriage of convenience. Yeah, right. And he didn't even I mean, he didn't even bother turning up to the ceremony. Yeah. No kids in that one.

No kids in that one. Happy with that. Yeah, okay. We can tell ourselves whatever we need to think to get through this. Sounds like he rarely saw her. Yeah, I don't think they ever met. No. Yeah, they may never have been in the same room. Great.

That's the story we're going with. Yes. So he lost in Texas and came back to find a new president in charge of Mexico. Now out of a job, Santa Ana spent some time in exile in the USA where he met with the US President Andrew Jackson. He was allowed back to Mexico as he again promised he was retired and went to live at his beautiful hacienda in Veracruz again. He said, don't worry, I'm retired.

I'm just going to go live on my beautiful farm. All good. That's good. Strawberries. Geez, Andrew Jackson's meant to be one of the worst. He's a bad guy. But he's on the $20 bill or 10. Up to you. You get to choose. Depends on how you view money. I probably picked 20 of them.

I had to pick for the two. Okay. Yeah, okay. Well, he's on that then. Great. So he was living a quiet life, writing a manifesto that reflected on and justified his decisions in Texas. Obviously didn't go well.

When in 1838, he saw his shot at redemption. A war kicked off with France right in his home state of Veracruz, known to history under the delicious title of the Pastry War. Oh, my gosh. My god. Yeah, I'm in. I'm going to fight for a croissant. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, that's what I'm picturing. I'm picturing a food fight. Yeah, sounds fantastic.

Danishes. Oh, yeah. Tarts. Tishes. Oh, yeah. Tarts. Tarts. Frisbee. Tarts frisbeed. Oh, I've been frisbeed by a tart. Have you had a coffee today? This war is delicious. I haven't.

I've been thinking about having one. Should I have one? I'm not sure. That's such a polite way to say you're being a nightmare. No, there's just, there is a certain, I don't necessarily think when I have a coffee, there's a noticeable change in behaviour. I probably maybe feel a little more awake, but there is a noticeable change. I was listening back to an episode recently where Dave mid-sentence says,

stop drinking that coffee. I'm being a bit too harsh here. Seriously, put it down. It was like a large, just straight black coffee. It'm being a bit too harsh here, but seriously, put it down. It was like a large, just striped black coffee. It was full on. Oh yeah. They'd ordered by accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They'd sent you the wrong thing, I remember. In the tour van the other week, Billy Joel was on and I'd had a coffee and I turned around, Marcel was in the back seat, Marcel blanched the wheel, and I was I was saying how much he chose the song and I'm like, man, this song really takes me back to certain times. And I'm like, oh, the coffee's kicking in. Sorry, the coffee's kicking in. Oh no, oh no.

I'm like, oh, I'm yeah. When you realise the song had ended and no one has had a single bar because you were talking over the entire time. No today, no coffee. I just chose fun. That's okay. Yeah, no, I'm happy with that. I was just asking a question of a friend. But I'll turn it down.

I can't take him. The phrase frisbee by pastry. I was frisbee by pastry. I'm doing it. Frisbee by a tart. You're doing it. He wasn't even a person. I got frisbee by a tart.

I mentioned tarts because you love tarts. And then you imagine being frisbee by one. Frisbee by Tart. I mentioned Tart because you love Tarts. And then you imagine being frisbee by one. Frisbee by Tart. Oh no, Darren, I've been frisbee by Tart again. Oh no. I don't know what the voice is, but it's definitely one I got from Dave. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been frisbee by Tart. And it's Dave got it from me. I'll jump into that. All right. Is that true? I think so. How did I get it? There was a British accent I used to do that used to make you laugh a lot.

That's so funny that I got it off, like I didn't get it direct from the source. I've got a diluted Dave Down version. Yeah, and me being the source, I made that up, that British accent, so anybody doing it? No one actually sounds like that. That would be ridiculous. Imagine if a certain section of a whole country sounded like that. Oh, Bainfriesby by a tart.

Oh no. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh don't mind. Oh no, double dipping that one. That would be nice with my tart. Red Brie on my tart.

Maybe on my croissant. The room temperature. Oh, it's too cold. Oh, wait a minute. So it's the pastry war, crystal. Oh. The room temperature. Oh, it's too cold. Oh, wait a minute. So it's the pastry war, everyone. Jesus Christ. Mexico had obviously been a pretty tumultuous place at times over the preceding years, with

presidents changing every six or seven days. And when people's property was damaged in the fighting, they had very little ways to get compensation, particularly if they were foreign citizens. In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef known only as Monsieur Remontel said that in 1832, Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacobaya, then a town on the outskirts of Mexico City. Mexican sources said that the officers from Santa Ana's government simply refused to pay the bills. Dave, was that town named after me?

Because I'm also a taco buyer. Don't you dare wink at me. Stop it. What a sensual wink. It's a very intimate wink. I don't like it. I don't like it. Was that the town was called Taco Bayer?

Taco Bayer. Close enough. So they ransacked this guy's shop, smashed it up and then he went, well, I need compensation. And the government said, nah, you're a French guy. We don't care about you. So France, which was Mexico's third largest trading partner, heard about this and demanded that the government compensate their countrymen.

Now, by this time, the president of Mexico was again, Anastacio Bostamante, whom I mentioned earlier as the vice president who killed his president in the coup d'etat. Honestly, we think we had a wild time in Australian politics in the 2010s when it was like a revolving door of prime ministers. Yeah, it was like four and five years or something. This is next level. Everyone who gets kicked out comes back, except for the guy who they executed. He doesn't come back. He doesn't come back.

He's not a vampire, it turns out. Thought we were about to go paranormal and that was going to get really fun. That would have been sick. This episode had pastry fights and ghosts. This is sick. Anyway, France was pissed and when President Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the French king ordered a fleet under rear admiral, pause for laughter, Charles- The dreaded. The dreaded rear admiral.

The dreaded rear admiral Charles Boudin to declare and carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico, as well as capture by force the city of Veracruz. This is of course where Santa Anna retired to and he volunteered to the government to come out of retirement and lead a revolt. If you need. The Mexican government gave Santa Anna control of the entire army and ordered him to defend the nation by any means necessary. the entire army and ordered him to defend the nation by any means necessary. Santa Anna engaged the French at Veracruz and as the Mexican resistance retreat. You know what'll happen? He won't turn up though, once he's engaged them.

Well, he kind of did a U-turn because they retreated after a failed assault. And he was hit in the leg and the hand by cannon fire. His ankle was shattered and he had to have his leg amputated. He ordered- From a shattered ankle. Yeah. I think back then it was like, well, there's no, no coming back from this. You got a lot of the thing off.

From the waist down. He ordered that his amputated leg be buried with full military on him. So they got a full ceremony for his They had a full ceremony. Fru's leg. Fru's leg. It's so good. So, he didn't really get rid of the French, but they withdrew on March the 9th, 1839, after a peace treaty was signed.

Mexico backed down and agreed to pay restitution to France's citizens. So they withdrew after Mexico said, all right, you can have what you want, please leave. It should be noted that Mexico never paid the money, and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861, Cinco de Mayo celebrates a victory over France during this war. But that is a story for another time. Oh. What does Cinco de Mayo mean? Something of May?

Was it the 5th of May? 5th of May. And it is, they had a victory and that's what they celebrate there. 1862, like I said, sorry. And you're going to do that as another episode? Honestly, it could be. And there's so much going on in this period. Whenever Dave, listeners coming close, whenever Dave-

Little closer. Little closer. Whenever Dave does this sort of bit of sizzle about a future topic, this really opens you up to, if you want to shout out on the show, you suggest it into the hat. And then when Dave gets around to doing it, he'll read your name out. I have to read out 300 things. Because he's already, he's like telling, he's basically inviting you to put this as a suggestion into the hat.

What are you saying Cinco de Mayo? No, you have to say the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. Yeah, okay. And I'll search for that phrasing exactly. And if you get it slightly wrong, you're not getting a shout out. That's reasonable. I think that's fair.

That's very fair. Laying down it, laying it down. Laying down it. Laying down it. That's Dave Warnocky, laying down it. Okay. I drop in the mic, and I'm gonna grab the mic and say,

sorry, I misspoke there. Let me do that again. We're getting a real insight into Dave as a dad. I'm laying down it. That's it. Laying down it. Laying down it. What are you laying down?

Sorry, the law. I meant to say the law. The law. Oh, fuck. Let me come back. So Santa Anna, now with a cork leg, used his return to relevance and his injury to reenter Mexican politics as a hero. Despite the fact he didn't drive the French away, but he was like, I was there and I lost

a leg for this country Yeah, I'm back baby. Cork feels like an odd choice. I don't know yeah. I think it holds water or whatever. Lightweight? Yeah, but do you want that? I mean you don't want it heavy but you're swimming. You also you want to know it can weight bear confidently Yeah, and yeah, what about? What does cork do in water? I know it floats. Yeah. So that's handy, I guess. So your leg's floating. That's probably.

So you can't dive anymore? Probably not. Great. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, he's got, we're going to talk more about that cork leg, believe it or not. Cork leg. Cork leg.

See? Matt's Googled something again. Yeah, just the way I saw it. I thought it was lay down. No, that's a... Actually, Dave, technically what you said was correct. Thank you. It was. I just saw an equally fun butchering of language recently, which I know is rich coming from me.

One of the biggest butchers out there. Yes. But a senator in America, Senator Mullen, asked the Education Secretary Linda McMahon, who I think is from the the wrestling family, one of Trump's appointees is the Education Secretary. Linda McMahon, yeah. And he asked her, what was we ranked in reading and math in 1979? And she said, I'm sorry, what? And he said, what was we ranked nationally in math and reading in 1979? And she said, very, very low on the totem pole.

And he said, we were number one. The whole start to finish that little- What was we? What was we ranked? What was we ranked? And the fact that he, that she asked what, and he said it the same. Exactly the same, yeah. What was we ranked?

I said, what was we ranked? I said what was we ranked. What was we? I'm sorry, did you miss here? In reading. And then just the fact that, did she confidently answer the question? He was like, no, that's the opposite actually. Great. And they're both, you know, they're on the same team.

Yeah, they're leaders. What was we ranked? What was we ranked? Sorry Dave. What was we ranked? What was we ranked? Sorry, Dave, what was we ranked? This is what, so that was like one of those Dorothy Dixit questions. Yeah. We were supposed to be like, here you go. We were number one.

A handball. I'll just read from the script. What was we ranked? That's beautiful. That is beautiful. That's beautiful. Oh no. So once again, what was we writing? After that, you'd say, arrest by case.

Lay down it. So he's back in politics. He's like, remember me? Remember me? I lost a leg for you guys. You should get behind me. He was then asked to take control of the provisional government as Anastacio Bustamante's president turned chaotic. Like every presidency of this period.

Santa Anna accepted and became president for the fifth time. Yes. A rebel army marched towards the capital to depose Santa Ana, but he quickly crushed the rebellion because that's what he's quite good at doing. The N.E.W. writes, Santa Ana's rule was even more dictatorial than his first administration. He jailed anyone who disagreed with him and also banned newspapers that didn't align with his policies. His increase in taxes was not popular and several Mexican states simply stopped

dealing with the central government. Yucatan and Laredo going so far as to declare themselves independent republics. As resentment grew, he saw the writing on the wall and stepped down from power and hoped to quietly slip away from his enemies. However, he was captured, turned over to authorities and imprisoned. His life was ultimately spared, but he was exiled to Cuba. Wow. And like I said earlier, Texas was annexed by the US in 1845 and was admitted to the union as the 28th state on December 29, 1845. It had declared independence from Mexico in 1836,

like I said, and the vast majority of the population supported joining the USA. Mexico still did not recognize this and they disagreed about the Texas border. They're like, OK, you're not a state, but if you were a state, that's not where the border is. So the United States invaded Mexico in 1846, triggering what is known as the Mexican-American War. Our man, Santa Anna, who remember was in exile in Cuba, wrote to Mexico City saying that he no longer had aspirations to the presidency.

But. But. He would eagerly use his military experience to fight off the foreign invasion of Mexico as he had in the past. You know. Here if you need. And if you wanted to give me a title. Yeah, I'd accept that. I'll get rid of them and then I'll go back into exile.

I don't want to be president anymore. Yeah, definitely don't want that. Please don't ask me to be. Mexico, we're desperate and accepted. Meanwhile, Santa Anna had also been in contact with the Americans, contacting US President James K. Polk, who arranged for a ship to take Santa Ana from Cuba through naval blockades to Mexico,

where he promised America he would work for peace and work to get Mexico to sell land to the USA for a reasonable price. So he's saying to the Mexican government, I'll get rid of those Americans. And he's saying to the American government, I'll work out a treaty for you, don't worry. In a move that would surprise absolutely no one except the people he duped, he duped them both.

Once in control of the army. Double juke. He declared himself to be the president of Mexico once again, now for the seventh time. What? And he took up arms against the USA. OK. And he, I mean, it sounds like they're probably just basically forcing him to do it. This isn't the kind of thing he wants.

No, he just wants to retire. He's retired. He wants to just tend to his veggie patch. Is it? I holding a gun to his head? Catch up on a bit of TV. Read a few books. Could they just, please let the man retire in peace.

Let the man rest. Good heavens. I'm furious for him. I know. God, some people really have greatness thrust upon them, don't they? The Mexican army was much larger than the invading forces and on paper looked like, we'll get rid of these guys easy, but Santa Anna's troops were exhausted, ill clothed, hungry and equipped with inferior weapons. The US Army however, was led by soon to be president, Zachary Taylor.

Against the odds- Zachary Taylor, that feels like a name from today. Zach Taylor. Wow, that sounds like a Hollywood heartthrob. That's a Hollywood heartthrob, not some olden days guy. You guys seen the latest Zach Taylor movie? Yeah, it was fantastic. Oh man, I'm a big fan of the Zachy T.

The way he smizes. Oh, he was, he's always ripped, but he was particularly ripped in this one. You can tell, he lost all water weight. Yeah. Well, he'd been working with a trainer for years. Can't wait for Men's Health to do an article about his regime. Yes.

He would have not been comfortable at all. Yes. He would have been very dehydrated in those scenes and I'm grateful for that. He was having trouble shitting. I don't think I've heard of Zachary Taylor, but yeah, that does not sound like an olden days name. Have you heard of James K. Polk? No, that's pretty fun. The? No, that's a great one.

The poker. It's a great one. So against the odds, the US won a series of battles against Ana and the Mexican army to quote from Wiki here, perhaps Santa Ana's most personal and ignominious incident in the war was the capture during the battle of Cerro Gordo of his prosthetic cork leg, which remains as a war trophy in the US held by the Illinois State Military Museum, but no longer on display. They've got his leg.

They've got his leg. Does cork go bad? Asking for a friend. A second leg, which I've seen referred to as a peg, was also captured by the 4th Illinois division and was reportedly used by the soldiers as a baseball bat. Stop taking his leg. You know what? It would be a real fun bit of sub-diffusion or whatever.

Here we go. If I'm using that right. Here we go. Plant a bomb in your leg. Oh, right. Oh no, I've left my leg behind. Yeah. Gosh, that really, oh no, not my good one.

Demoralizing. Yeah. The Americans have taken my leg again. My sworn enemies. Detonate the pig, detonate the pig. It is still displayed at the home of Illinois Governor Richard J. Oglesby, who served in that regiment, which is now a museum, and you can see the pig. I was going to say, that guy's definitely dead.

Yeah, yeah, sorry. The way he was phrased it was like, he was like, no. It's still in his house. Like, the fuck? Yeah. He's dead. He's well dead. It's a museum now, okay.

He's 100 years plus dead. Santa Ana had a replacement leg made, which is displayed at the Museo Nacional de Historia in Mexico City. Stop putting his leg on display. There are three separate legs you can go on display. I feel weird about it. You can go and see. I feel weird about it. And the buried leg, still buried?

And that's buried as well. Apparently he had multiple legs, one for walking, one for riding a horse, one for battle, one for formal occasions. Sure, he's got his good leg. His good leg. His formal leg. I'm a good leg.

Where's my tux leg? That's so great. Yeah. Do you ever, there was a show way back in the early 90s, 80s maybe, where there was like a scarecrow could choose different heads? No. And he, you know, just based on his mood and stuff? No, that wasn't in the cartoon or anything.

I can't remember anything else about it. No, I think it was real life. Real life scarecrow, they could choose his head. There you go. Sounds awful now that I say it out loud. Yeah, no, that was way before our time because we're incredibly young. That's another episode of Matt almost remembers. The mists of time.

I'm sure there's people yelling at their iPods right now being like, I love that show. Yeah. No, I don't remember it. No, I don't. I just remember seeing a couple of times thinking, wow, how fun's that? He can choose his own head.

But I think a leg like is a more realistic version of it. And we have different like shoes for different occasions, makes sense. He has a whole different leg for different occasions. I support that. I don't like just taking his leg and putting it on display. I find that strange for some reason. No, and yeah, that's how time goes by, you're still displaying it as a bit. Yeah, it's like- Apparently there has been negotiations between Mexico and the USA to get the one in Illinois back, but they've- What would the negotiation be?

Just give them back the leg if they want it, if his family or whatever wants the leg. Yeah, I think that's why they've taken it off display because they're like, this is a bit bad tasting. Yes, it is. But we're not giving it back. Go! display because they're like, this is a bit bad tasting. Yes, it is. But we're not giving it back.

Go. So after their multiple victories, the US army marched into Mexico City in September, 1847 and won a final battle. The fall of the Mexican capital ended the military phase of the conflict. By February, 1848, a treaty had been signed and Mexico ceded a lot of their land to the United States. In fact, they had to cede 55% of their territory, including the present day states of California, Nevada, Utah, give me two, most of Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona, as well as a small

portion of Wyoming. Whoa. They had to give up a lot of land. In turn, the US government paid Mexico $15 million, which is about half a billion today, 550 million, quote, in consideration of the extension acquired by the boundaries of the United States. They're like, oh, we're not getting it for free. We're paying you for it.

Not much for that amount of land. Wow. They agreed to pay debts owed to American citizens by the Mexican government as well. Mexicans in the areas annexed by the US could relocate within Mexico's new boundaries or receive American citizenship and full civil rights. So people got to choose if you became American or you left and went to Mexico. So America sort of near doubled in size overnight? Yeah, got way bigger.

Wow. And did they, those places weren't, were they already states? You know, did they just go from Mexican States to American States or were they- I was in like the boundaries. Yeah. I think that I don't know if that was- That was just-

I don't think I was properly drawn. It was just one big chunk of- Yeah. I think they were divided into Mexican States, but I don't think that it was necessarily kept on those lines. I think a lot of stuff was redrawn. That's kind of tough because if you've like, you know, lived in a place a long time, maybe been born there and then it's like, all right, well, you're going to be American or you have to move.

Yeah. It's a bit strange. Yeah. I think a lot of the people that were fighting for Mexico were pretty unhappy. Yeah, fair enough. You know, they lost this big, big, big war. With this massive loss, also Santa Anna's pretty upset himself. With this massive loss, Santa Anna again went into exile, this time to another Caribbean island, Jamaica.

Oh, that's tough. Two years later, he then moved to Columbia. But was he done? Absolutely not. You're kidding. It's unbelievable. How old is he at this point? 1853.

When did I say he was born? I don't remember. 17 something. He is now almost 60 years old. Wow. In April 1853, he was invited back by rebellious conservatives who did not like now president Mariana Arista's sweeping budget cuts. Santa Anna came back and was elected president again on the 17th of March, 1853.

This time he called himself dictator for life and gave himself the title of Serene Highness or Sue Altezza Serenissima. Well, what he's done there is said next time don't exile me, you're going to have to kill me because it's for my life. And I don't want to guess what's going to happen, but I think he's probably still alive today. I don't want to guess what's going to happen, but I think he's probably still alive today. Well his full title in the final period of his power translates as Hero of the Nation, General of Division, Grand Master of the National and Distinguished Order of Guadalupe, Grand

Cross of the Royal and Distinguished Spanish Order of Carlos III and President of the Mexican Republic. Imagine if he insisted on you using that entire title. I feel like, God, I'd avoid him like the plague. The word distinguished is in there not once, but twice. It's too much. Despite this new, wild title, the NEW writes, this reign was no better than his earlier ones.

He funneled government funds into his own pockets and sold more territory to the United States in what is known as the Gadsden Purchase. In present day's southern Arizona and southwestern New Mexico, the US wanted the land to build the transcontinental railway. But Santa Ana botched the deal and pushed to get cash upfront rather than wait and ended up costing his country lots and lots of money in a time when they were desperate. I think it was something like, we'll pay you this much now, or if you wait, we'll give

you three times that amount. And he ended up taking the money quickly. And obviously would have benefited his government and the nation if they had got more money for selling off this land. So Mexico's getting smaller and smaller. It used to be so big, it's still big now. One positive thing is the Mexican national anthem was composed during this presidency of him.

And they still use that anthem too today. But people didn't like all of the corruption and how he was handling things. And a group of liberals, including Juan Alvarez, Benito Juarez, and Ignacio Cominfort overthrew Santa Anna under the plan of Ayulta. The plan called for his removal from office. And he again went into exile in 1855. Spending a lot of time in exile. Like a lot.

It must be nice. Because he keeps going back to exile. I'm loving the idea of it. Yeah. Like- It's a rest. Yeah. Start again.

Sounds pretty good to me. It's going on holiday. Go to Cuba, go to Jamaica. Awesome. Great. With Santa Ana gone, Mexico entered a complex civil conflict called the Reform War between Mexican liberals and conservatives. One of the guys that kicked him out, Benito Juarez, ended up being president for over

14 years, winning elections, but at the same time, with the backing of France, an Austrian Archduke, Archduke Maximilian I was installed as emperor of Mexico. So they had a president on one side and also an emperor, and they were not working together. They were different people, recognised different. Sort of like, you know, not unified boxing champions. Exactly. They need a unifier. They need to get the president in the ring with the emperor. Heavyweight battle. Come on, battle it out.

The backing from France was seen as a way to counteract growing US power in the region, so they were like, let's install an archduke, make him emperor, I guess. Wow. Our man, Santa Anna, saw his chance, and ten years after going into exile, he sought US support in an attempt to oust the Emperor, Maximilian. At the same time, he offered his services to Maximilian. Both proposals were refused and he remained in exile. Okay.

Despite this, Maximilian I was eventually himself executed, and Benito Juarez was president for many years after that. Maximilian is fantastic. So good. I love it. During his many years in exile, Santa Anna was a passionate fan of the sport of cock fighting. He had many roosters that he entered into competitions and he would have his roosters compete with cocks from all over the world.

Jess is enjoying cocks. I'm still thinking in my head, I'm having this conversation. Hey, Dave, how much have you got in your wallet? You know, a max of a million. You're still back there. Yeah. Whereas, as you know, oh, Max a million. You're still back there. Yeah. Whereas as you said, Jess is enjoying cocks. Yeah.

Jess is having so much fun with cocks. Yeah. And cocks from all over the world competing. Who is the world's best cock? Are you picturing the cocks with like feathery wings or just cocks? You know, like a mashup of cocks and cocks or just- I was just imagining that. Just one kind of cock. Yeah. Cock free cock.

Cock free cock. It's a sword fight. He also had, I'm pleased to say, some. God in the chickens had swords. Yeah. In the cartoon in my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How else do they fight? What, you got to peck at each other? Yeah. Come on. There's a peck off. Come on.

Where to fight? Hey, we got cash on the table. Let's take this seriously, you little cocks. We each other? Yeah. That's a peck off. Come on. Where the fuck? Hey, we got cash on the table. Let's take this seriously, you little cocks. We got max a million on the table. Max! We got min a million. Min a million.

I'm pleased to say he also had some get rich quick schemes going. Yes. One of which involved chicle, which is the natural latex harvested from trees in the same fashion as rubber. Like many people from his part of Mexico, he chewed on Chicle. It's a rubbery thing. It's a Chicle chew. Put in your mouth, have a chew. Sure.

Whilst in exile in America, he brought a supply of Chicle with him and befriended a local glass merchant and an inventor called Thomas Adams. He asked Adams to help him develop a product made from chickle that could be used as an alternative to the expensive rubber used in carriage tires. He said if it worked out, they'd both get super rich. Adams and his son tried to create a product over many years, but it failed. He had invested a small fortune over $30,000 of his own money into the scheme and pivoted one day when he noticed a girl buying some chewing gum from a chemist

According to Atlas Obscura at the time chewing gum was nothing like it is today. It was made with a paraffin base It was brittle after chewing and often contained in purities in comparison as Thomas Adams noted in his patent application Chickle gum contained nothing of an unwholesome character. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. And it could be, quote, stretched, molded into form or broken and instantly reunited. So using the chickle, Adams created a new type of gum that instantly sold out and he went into business. All right.

Under Adams Directions, pharmacies received chewing gum machines and New York subway platforms saw the installation of America's first vending machines, which sold Adam's popular Tooty Fruity flavour. He came up with Tooty Fruity? He came up with Tooty Fruity! And then he opened the largest chewing gum plant in the world and made a fortune. And Santa Anna, like, because it's obviously it's not the thing they made a deal on, but it's he's still like, well, this kind of came out of my deal. I still want half.

Sadly for him, despite basically kicking off chewing gum, Santa Anna missed out on this boom as he had moved back to Mexico under an amnesty. OK. They were allowing exiled citizens home. By this time, he was blind from cataracts and completely broke. So he really could have done with that chickle chewing gum money. And sadly, all good things- Little of that chickle cheddar.

Just didn't like that. I imagined cheddar, like almost cheddar flavoured chewing gum, I guess, is what I imagined. They're like really, really chewed cheddar. They tried that and it did not take off. Yuck. No, I don't want savoury gum. No. No, thank you. Yuck. No, I don't want savoury gum. No. No, thank you. Yuck.

So he's back in Mexico finally after all these years away, but he's blind, he's broke and sadly all good things must come to an end and Santa Anna died on the 21st of June 1876, aged 82. Whoa. Not a bad ending. He had led a wild life. Yeah, he got up to a lot. And he lived long enough to see the St. Kilda football club form. Thank goodness. Just? Yeah, three years.

So he caught, you know, the early days. And I think probably once he was sure that we were on the right track, he was ready to drift off onto another realm. That's right. He could still watch the games. From heaven. That's right, they could still watch the games. Yeah, that's right. They're the saints. Got no false description.

Britannica has a great article on him that ends with this. Santa Anna possessed a magnetic personality and real qualities of leadership, but his lack of principles, his pride and his love of military glory and extravagance, coupled with a disregard for and an incompetence in civil affairs, led Mexico into a series of disasters and himself into ill repute and tragedy." Yeah, it really feels like so much of America and Mexico would be different if it wasn't for him. Yeah, he was very influential.

Or if he had different skills. Yeah. All told, it's debated, but a lot of people say he was president of Mexico 11 separate times over 20 years. He's still a controversial figure, but obviously influential as historians often refer to the three decades after Mexican independence as, quote, the age of Santa Anna, because he just kept coming back, kept coming back. Right.

Wow. What an interesting fella. Yeah, I'd never heard of him until our main man, Henry Smith from Cumbria in the UK, who we're all very friendly with. We love you, I mean. Oh, sorry, that wasn't a Henry. No, yeah, Jess was talking to her butt.

Yeah, I was talking to my butt. And it's important to have a nice relationship with your butt. Yeah. Yeah was talking to my butt. And it's important. It's important to have a nice relationship with your butt. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta get along. I love you. That was to his dick. Well, I'm saying it to my butt through my dick.

Oh dear. We are too old for these jokes. No, we are not. We are. We're aging in. We're too old to have found cocks so funny. It's funny. And yeah, I never heard of this very colorful, to say the least, character from history.

Maybe you too know a story from a different part of the world. Honestly, I knew nothing about the history of Mexico. No, or America. And like, it's just the tip of the iceberg. Yeah. Because after that, there was more, like there's multiple civil wars after this. It's very interesting and in a way hard to get your head around. So I hope that I did explain what I understand of it.

In a proper way. But yeah, the president changed so many times. It's wild. Actually unbelievable. Yeah, this is that was why it was called the Gulf of Mexico back then. That's why it's not anymore. Because Mexico used to fully surround that Gulf. And they really don't.

They don't at all now. Which is why we don't call it that anymore. It's called the Gulf of goddamn blesser. Goddamn boys. Goddamn it America. Goddamn it. It's called the Gulf of Red, White and Blue. It's called the Gulf of Sorry I'm Late Mr. President.

Perfect film. Great story well told. Well, Dave, what a topic. A wild ride emotionally and cerebrally. Oh, really? Yeah. I got right in there. Yeah, I think I fell asleep for a bit and I had a pretty wild dream. Yeah, I imagine.

I'll tell you about it some day. It really got me. I want to tell you about it. It really got me. Yeah, you've got boring reports that I have. Well, Jess, you've woken up just at the right time because this is everyone's favourite section of the show. I think a lot of listeners are probably just waking up or have just skipped to this point.

That's right. Where we thank some of our great supporters. If you want to be one of these supporters, go to patreon.com slash dogo on pod. It's a bunch of levels you can join. All sorts of things can be accessed. Ad free listening. Yes. Four bonus episodes a month on a certain level.

Discounted live tickets. You hear about them first. Yeah, that's right. My UK tour, the first to hear about that and with a discount code were the Patreons. And yeah, that's the case. We're already talking about our next tour for Do Go On. And that'll be the first to know about it when it's all locked in But oh the Facebook group, I mean talk about it. It's everyone's favorite

place Friendly is cornered He's gonna use it so friendly that sometimes I think they forget that we're in there and they'll have They'll have threads discussing things. I don't like about the show. Yeah, and I'll be like, oh, that's made me sad Yeah, and then I'll leave it for a little bit. Yeah. But apart from that. Yeah, yeah, apart from that.

Yeah. The threads where they discuss what they change about us. Yeah. You know. They said they give me bigger pecs. Yeah, me too. They said they give me smaller pecs. Which was offensive.

Yours are heaving. I don't think I could get them any smaller. You've got a heaving breast. They said they'd give me better hair. And I'm like, what? It can't get any better. Yeah, what is that? don't think I could get him. You got a heaving breast. I said they'd give me better hair and I'm like, what? It can't get any better. Yeah. What is that? You have some sort of supernatural discussion now? Your hair's peeking. Better hair? Good luck.

Jinx. Jinx. Oh. You both wrote the same comment on that thread. Good luck. But anyway, no, little joke there. But yeah, so much fun. I do remember that we are in there. But it's a little joke, but we can read it. So, Toothy, writing something, just think, would I want to read this about myself? And then decide. Would you want to hear here that you need better hair?

Would you hear hair? Would you want to hear hair? So, but one of the other things you get by being on the Patreon is entry into the fact quote or question section. This is if you're on the Sydney Schoenberg level or above, occasionally I'll get a message going, where do I enter my fact quote question? But there are people not on the Sydney Schoenberg level or above. So I'm telling you now, so you don't even, you can save that message.

Yeah. But I'm also happy for you to message and ask me anything at any time. Of Course. My door is always open. Yes. And I will reply within a few weeks. Yeah. Minimum. Minimum. Or maximum. Could be either side of that. It's exciting. AJ, can you edit this down? This is Waffle Eat. But if you're on the Sydney Schomburg level, you have to give us a fake quota question and we cover those in this section of the show. Actually, this section of the show actually has a jingle, actually. And there you go, it's actually something like this, actually. Fact, quote or question. Actually.

He always remembers the actually, she always remembers the sing-chilly. And in this section of the show, people on the Sydney Schomburg level or above get to give us a fact, quote or question or a braggart suggestion or really whatever they like. The first one comes from Lego man himself, Steven Edmonds, whose title is Regretter of Procrastination offering as a fact. It's a very relatable title. If I had submitted this fact, quote or question much earlier, this might've been able to be timed with the 500th episode, but no, the location of the 500th

episode was built over a hundred years ago in 1924. Known then as the Capitol Theatre, it was the first extravagant picture palace in Victoria. I didn't know that. That's cool. Love the phrase picture palace. And it was known then as the Capitol Theatre. Yes. I wonder what it becomes. Fascinating. It is a Chicago Gothic style theatre with an original capacity over 21,374, 21,037. What? Bracket, sorry, Jess. 21, the capacity.

Yes. Was 21,000. Yeah, we got that many in, didn't we? It's not a stadium. That's insane. Yeah, they obviously really squeezed them in back then. What the f- Did you have to stand like Sidemen to watch a movie? Oh, I might have must have been a fair bit of standing room.

It's a 2037, you can't get 2100. Yeah, 2100 or something. What the fuck? Stephen goes on to say, in its current state, it holds an impressive 574, again, sorry Jess. No. In its current state, it holds an impressive 574, again, sorry Jess. No! The spectacular crystalline ceiling was originally lit by incandescent globes in red, yellow, blue and green, which often, which could often be choreographed to the live orchestral score of the silent films being played.

Since the restoration, it is now lit by thousands of digitally controlled LEDs. The theatre was designed by American husband and wife architects Walter Burley Griffin and Marion Marnie Griffin. Like Lake Burley Griffin? Like Lake Burley Griffin himself and herself. The Lakers. Themselves. Themself. I don't think the Lakers gendered actually. Most Australian listeners would have learned at school that Walter designed Canberra, but

a better understanding is that Marion and Walter worked as a team. Across 28 years they designed over 350 buildings, landscape and urban design projects, as well as designing construction materials, interiors, furniture and other household items. Just a power couple. But it held 21,000. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to fact check the Lego man. Don't want to fact check the fact checker. I think the number is 2137. What did I say? I don't know if you're reading it wrong. You said 21,000. Oh yeah, sorry, I'm reading it wrong. Okay.

We're fact checking Matt, and that's okay. What have I been saying? 21,000 it was told. Oh no, that's why we're like- 2100. That's like- 2100. That's a stadium.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, 2100 is impressive. Which is four times the amount of people it fits now, obviously, but still- That's crazy. Okay, sorry. That's just not like- The original accuracy is two million? I'm reading it in my head.

2 million? I was wrong. In my head, I was saying like it was 2137 in my head, but the words I repeatedly said wrong. Yeah. And then I clarified and you confirmed the clarification. That's so funny. That's okay.

Do you think I'm okay? No. That's okay, but am I okay? No, you're not okay, but we'll deal with that after this. I'm so sorry, Stephen. Wow. That's still very impressive. At 21,000, I was like, Stephen, you're lying to me. Yeah, the roof was. The roof is absolutely beautiful.

Oh, it's so cool. It was a great theatre. We had a great time. To me, it just looks more modern than that. It doesn't look like a 1920s building. Thanks so much, Stephen. And sorry for butchering your fact. Second and final fact quota question today comes from Mick McCray, whose title is, Change My Name to Save Time and Change My Hair to Save on Brill Cream.

Because Mick used to be known as Mikaela in these fact quotes and questions. So there's a little time saving there. Okay, great. Mick writes, a question. I love finding songs that fit a theme and then putting them into playlists. So my question is, do you have a favourite or just a song you like titled A Person's Name? Oh, yeah.

My absolute favourite would be Goff by the Whitlems. Oh, okay. Okay. Um, that is a fantastic question. I mean, Dolly Parton has a song called Joshua. Oh yeah. That's a pretty good song. I like Willie Nelson by the wagons. Oh yeah. Willie. Willie. That's a really great question. I do like, you love a themed playlist. Will-eh, yeah, I don't think I've done that as a theme before. No, Names is a good one. Boy, Boy Names Who?

I'm having a look just through my liked songs to see. What about a Paul Kelly? He must, Bradman? Bradman. Shane Warne? Yep. Yeah, first one I thought of was Dolly. So Long Mary Anne by Leonard Cohen. Any come to mind for you, D-dub?

No, I'm panicking. It's tricky, isn't it? I know. On the spot is always hard. Hey, Mickey, you're so fine. You're so fine. You blow my mind, hey, Mickey. Hey, Mickey. Wait, that's not the right clap. Don't worry about it. No, it's not. You fucked it. AJ fixed the clap in post. You absolutely fucked it.

This is one of those ones that I'll be driving home and I'll be like, oh, I love that one. 100%. I reckon there's got to be, I'm going to search on Spotify because there's going to be a playlist of. Bruce Springsteen's Rosalita. Rosalita, jump a little higher. Matt's got lots. Songs with names in the title. There's lots of these. Oh, OK. Great.

Adam's Song by Blink-102. Hmm. Lots of lots of these. Oh, okay. Great. Adam's Song by Blink-102. Hmm. Lots of, there's several Alice songs. Cecilia Simon Garfunkel. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, good one. Yeah, that's a good one.

It's gonna break my heart. What about, what about? Annie's Song, John Denver. Oh yeah. What about Daniel by Elton? Oh yes. Daniel's my brother. Taylor Swift has a song called Betty. Oh, Betty's great. I like Betty. And you're my brother. Taylor Swift has a song called Betty.

Oh, Betty's great. Like Betty. Betty's a good one. That was in our countdown a few years ago. Whoa, Black Betty. Oh, there's several Carolines. Oh, yeah. Sweet Caroline. Not even. Oh, Carolina was a girl. Yeah, Cecilia. So that's a great question and a great a great category. Yeah. So good.. Um, yeah.

So good. Great question, Mick. Thanks Mick. Thanks Mick. On you Mick. Hey Mick, do you want to start that as some sort of a playlist on some sort of a thing and put it in the Facebook group so people can add songs to it? Great idea.

That'd be very fun. Hey Mick, if you don't, we'll know you're not listening. Mick. Come on. Mick, go on, bastard. Mick. Bastard. Thanks so much, Mick.

Thanks so much, Stephen. Both attendees at the 500th, I'm pretty sure. And I know Mick was there, and I also know that Stephen was there. Okay. So that makes me pretty sure. I'm sure. I think we were both, Dave, am I wrong?

We're all at the Comedy Republic afterwards after having a Rossies. We had a Rossies. We had a slice of Rossies. Lovely takeaway pizza shop open very late on Swanston Street and we enjoyed our Rossies. Love a slice of Rossies. The next thing we like to do. Jesus Christ. Next thing we like to do, I have had a coffee since Jess asked before.

Another thing we like to do is thank a few of our other great supporters. Jess only comes up with the game for this part of the show. That's true. Jess does. Can you find a song name for their names? Oh, good one. I can do that. All right.

Uh, I'm going to go for a song name generator and I'm going to put their name in it. Oh, great. Love that. Dave, do you want to do place or name? I can do place. I don't mind doing the place. All right. First up, I'd like to thank from Annapolis in Maryland. Hello and thank you too.

Oh, John Park. I almost forgot. Oh, what about, is Johnny Park the name of a- that's the name of a Foo Fighters song, isn't it? Hey Joe Park? Hey John Park? Hey something Park. But anyway, just as generating a brand new song.

I've got it. Forever John Park. Forever John Park. That is- that's great. There is a track called Hey Johnny Park, but there's a new one. New one. John Park, you got two there. Two for you. Yeah, I reckon I think John would be happy to have a new one.

I reckon John might have heard of the Foo Fighters one a few times. Good song, though. From Curry Curry in New South Wales, thank you to. Jacob Sweeks. Sweeksy. Or is it Swilks? Swilksy. I think Jacob Swilks also came to the 500th and I think I did that exact same to his face. Swixie.

I said Swixie. And he went Swilks as a Swixie. Swixie. And now you remember. And obviously you remember by the song, Always Swilksie. Always Swilksie. Always Swilksie. Yeah.

You are always Swilxy. I've got a really creepy one coming up. Oh, OK. Well, let's give that to someone who's from a location unknown to us. We can only assume they're deeper than the forges of the moles. It's Finn the Human. Hmm. I don't know. Do they protest too much there?

I think maybe. The Human. And the song is Soft Teenage Finn. Yeah, that's how would that end? Good. Soft Teenage Jacob, Soft Teenage Finn. Oh yeah, that's, how would that end good? Soft Teenage Jacob, Soft Teenage John, like that's, it doesn't end well. Apart from Finn. Ended very well, that's perfect. What a beautiful sounding song that is.

Finn the Human. Who else we got Dave? This person is also from a location unknown to us. Oh my God, very musical name. Thank you Melody Cook. Melody, feel good with your passion. Is that a comma? Melody, feel good with your passion.

It's like an instruction. That is a real... Melody, baby, feel good with your passion. Thanks for permission. What was the question the American politician asked? Who were we? Where was we? Where was we where was we where was we placed That sounds like it was written by that guy

We're in line. He's a songwriter I'd also like to thank another person hanging out in the forties of the malls probably it's a Leo a man Leo a man. Yes, it sounds a bit like Finn the Human, but this is like a surname. A man. A man or a man. Leo a man. Leo into snooze. Oh, the lion sleeps tonight. Yeah. Isn't that nice? That is really nice. It's a sequel to the lion sleeps tonight. Leo in a snooze. It's cute. Next up, I'd like to think from Liverpool in's cute. Oh, wee. Yeah. Next up, I'd like to thank from Liverpool in Great Britain. Oh, a lucky lad. It's Paul Charnock.

Oh, the golden dreamer, Charnock. Wow. Yeah, we're just sort of playing on the base there, Pinky Plonk. And yeah, was there was an undertune again there? The golden dreamer. The golden dreamer. Yeah. Big hit.

Yeah. See, like that is very, very good. Genuinely. Your Trump is horrific. My Trump is the best. It's one of the best. It's one of the best in the business. It's kind of gotten better.

It was the worst thing I've ever heard about. I didn't feel, I keep seeing me. I feel like it's going to sound best in the business. It's kind of gotten better. It was the worst thing I've ever heard about. No, that didn't feel, it keeps seeing me. I feel like it's going to sound, but it is, it is awful. It is one of the worst. Yeah, it's getting, a lot worse. Okay. It's halfway between, I regret even bringing it up. It's halfway between the Joker and like a new weird Star Wars character.

Yeah. Like he's in a junkyard or something. Okay. Well, this is a, that is a pitch to either the guy does Star Wars or the guy who does Batman. I'll play either of those roles. I'm the Joker. I'm selling things in a junkyard.

Yeah. I made it to in your voice. I'm selling things in a junkyard. What do you want? What do you got? I'm a Joker. Hey, having a bit of fun. All right. God, he is good. Name the Riddle. Name the Riddle. The joker famous for his riddles. Name the Riddle. Name the Riddle.

Wait, if you don't name the Riddle, you don't name the Riddle. And it's just like, give it a name, Greg. All right. You got lucky. I like that name. That's a beautiful man for a bum or a girl. For a bum? Bum. Because I think I'm going to name the bum. Gotcha. I wasn't listening. Oh, but I think there's another person probably deeper than the Fortress of the Moles.

We don't know where you're from, but thank you so much to Katie. Surname. I don't know if it's been left off on purpose, but on the email, it's a UK name and it ends with C. It starts with C. Okay. It's a UK name. Well the emails are UK. It's an email. It's a UK. I regret asking. The song is Katie Kiss Night.

So we're in there in the studio though and Katie started playing this lick on the guitar. It's very good. It's I mean, it's me doing Dana Carvey doing. Sure, but it's it's really very soothing to listen to. I would listen to this podcast if that's what your voice sounded like. But it doesn't. It doesn't. And so I don't. What's Katie's song? That sounds like a hit.

Katie Kiss Night. Katie Kiss Night. Katie Kiss Night. It's Kiss Night. Is there a comma in there? Oh, like movie night. This is Kiss Night. Yeah, exactly.

You got to spice things up in a relationship. It's going to be a soft rock. Thursday night's a kiss night in my house. He gets one kiss. Monday nights for washing. Tuesday night's fish and chips. Fish and chips on Tuesday. Wednesday night.

Why save it for Friday? Is bingo. Oh wow. But don't you worry for a minute. Cause Thursday's the one we've been waiting for. Get your lips after ready. Cause Thursday night is the night we want. Thursday night we never miss.

Thursday night. Jesus Christ. That's time we kiss. Oh, that's great. Got it back there. Then what? Yes, Thursday night said about 14 times. And then what do you do on Fridays?

Friday night. Is for full penetration. Kiss on Thursday. Friday night for making babies. Thursday nights. That is a full play. Yes. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Wash those clothes again on Monday. Tuesdays, fish and chips.

Sunday night, we recover. Is for full penetration. Friday night for making babies. Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover.

Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Is for full penetration. Saturday, Sunday, we recover. Wash those clothes again on Monday. Tuesday's fish and chips. Something about Friday, I really like Tuesday. Tuesday fish and chips.

I like fish and chips. I look forward to Tuesday. I tolerate Friday. It's not for me. It's not for me. Hey, you're a generous lover. That's right. I do it.

Not everyone likes fish, but we still go on Tuesday for me. Hey, hey, you're a generous lover. That's right. You know, not everyone likes fish. But we still go on Tuesday for me. Yeah. Friday. That's for them. I'd like to thank now from Anglesey, beautiful seaside town in Victoria. It's Tim Tronk. Ooh la la. That's such a great name. Tim Tronk. Tim Tronk. Tim Tronk.

It's Tim Tronk colon Mystic Bard.. Tim Tronk. Colin Mystic Bard. Oh my God. That is so good. I think that's an instrumental. Oh yeah. But it's like it was written specifically for a soundtrack for a film. And like it does really well off that. Yes. Yeah. The soundtrack sells well.

Mike Oldfield played it. It's a tubular bells ish. Right. Tubular bells ish. Right? I was on the look I'm thinking how like a couple of um Kevin Parker's Tame Impala songs have been oh, you know, it's for Dungeons and Dragons and stuff. Yes And you go really you listen to it you go that fucking slaps Kevin Parker. Yes collab with Mark Oldfield Kevin on the loop Mark on the tubular bells.

Yep. He only knows one thing. He does it well. He actually plays a lot of instruments Dave, if you really want to know. And I get the feeling you don't. He only does one thing well. Oh yeah. He does tubular bells.

And finally, I don't think from Stroud. Stroud. From Stroud. In Great Britain, it's. Tracy Beddowes. Um, uh, it is Cuba. Tracy Beddow's. It is Cuba Piano Beddow's. Cuba Piano, oh well, I mean, I can feel that humidity just sweeping in.

You know we're in Havana. Yes, playing the piano. Playing the piano, tinkling on the old. Yeah. And then once we've cleaned the piss off, tinkling on the old. Yeah. And then once we clean the piss off, we someone starts playing on them as well. Who piss on the piano? Hey, well, it's just doesn't this smell of,

you know, heart and soul, talent, music, passion, passion and piss and piss, a bit of piss. Yes, it's undeniably in there. Yes. On the way home, I'm going to have some rosies. Oh, which I could have some Rossies. Oh, wish I could have a Rossie for dinner. Big slus of Rossies. See, I wouldn't listen if that's what your voice sounded like.

Unfortunately, it does. Yeah. I love a Rossie. That's disgusting. And Donald Trump eating a Rossie. I'm having a Rossie. I'm enjoying this Rossie. It's gone, it's gone.

It's the greatest Rossie. I'm having one of the best Rossies in the world. This is gone. It's the greatest, it's the greatest, Rousy. I'm having one of the best Rousies in the world. This is a, hey, buy the slice. Yes, Rousy. That was really Star Wars at the end. I tell you what, I tell you what, I tell you what, I'm loving this, Rousy. Mm, Rousy's special.

Mm, how do they do it? Green olives, mm. It's like when a voice actor does multiple voices back to back for their audition tape, you just do one character and they're like, yeah, the way you said that one word was like different. Yeah. It's so interesting. He's, he's playing so many characters at once.

It's very talented. It covers so much ground. Thank you so much to Tracy, Tim, Katie, Paul, Leo, Melody, Finn, Jacob, and Jean. And the last thing we do is welcome some people into the Trippish Club. These are some of our greatest supporters. They have been on there for three years straight on the shout out level or above. Jesus Christ. And now they get welcomed in to the Triptych Club, it's the theater of the mind.

It's one of the greatest, it's one of the greatest, it's one of the greatest theaters, and it's in your mind. Dave, do you want to explain any further? Basically, this is a hall of fame, it's a clubhouse where, like Matt said, you've been on the shout out level for three consecutive years, you get welcomed in, you get to hang out with us,

you get to hang out with the other people in here, there's about a thousand of you now, which is fantastic. There's music, there's food, there's drink, there's entertainment, there's chill out zones, there's a little art class once a week, a little arts and crafts, so look forward to that. A little arts and crafts. Matt's gonna do a character masterclass going to teach you how to do some great

voiceover work, which is fantastic. Yeah, my mom's coming in this week to teach cross stitch. Thank you. My masterclass still has plenty of room. But unfortunately the cross stitch class with my mom is fully booked. She's having to add extra. That's what I'm trying to wait for. Yeah.

You can see there's a list on the cock board. Add no names on it yet. When I said noms, yes, I meant names. Okay. But yeah, mummy's now here for the week. She's got a week long residency. Residency. Yeah.

Really, it would be great to see you there. It'd be fantastic. Jess, you always organize some sort of food or drink. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, we've got, I've got a lot of tequila. Love it. Um, and it's funny cause this was like Mexican themed.

I got a good deal on tequila. So I was like, fuck you. I'll make Marg's my favorite. Um, and then I thought what goes well with Marg's, uh, margarita pizza. I wish I'd known, uh, and then I would have made Mexican food, but unfortunately we just have Marg's and Marg's. Where do we order it from? Heros? Oh, Rossi do order it from? Her Aussie.

Oh, Rossi do a fantastic Margarita. Yes. Have you tried for a whole lot? Yes, I've had Rossi's. Um, Jess told us that Rossi's is at Chadston. I didn't know that. Yeah. And I used to work at Chadston.

Did you ever get a Rossi's on a lunch break? Of course. Oh, it's lunchtime. It's time for a Rossi's. I thought, I thought Swanson Street was the only Rossi's. Me too, but I've seen one in Melbourne Central. I thought it was a little family owned business. No, no, no, no, no.

Rossi's been around for a long time. I mean I haven't worked at Chad's for a very long time. Right. Oh my god, Rossi's. I know. Uh, alright so, Jay always booked a band. Dave booked a band. For the after party.

For the after party, and you're never gonna believe it. I've obviously organised the topic this week. I did the report, so I knew this was happening, but they hadn't written back until just now. And I've just confirmed them. Hitness tonight, we've got the Electronic Music Sensation Mexican Institute of Sound. Whoa! All the way from- MIT. From Mexico City.

Bloody hell. Massive. That's fantastic. So I can't wait for that. I would love to go to Mexico City. Bloody hell. That's fantastic. So I can't wait for that. I would love to go to Mexico City. Yeah. I was just talking to my hairdresser yesterday, thanks for noticing. And she had just come back and said- You should have, while you stopped in to chat, you should have got a haircut. I just thought I'd stop in.

Sat there for about a good three hours. And we just chatted. She's a good chat up there. Professional chatters. And had she just been to Mexico City? Yes. And said she had a wonderful time. I went there on that trip with Taco Bill where I won a trip.

And he went over on taco money. It was good. Dave's also a taco buyer. I did a taco tasting tour. Fuck yeah. They take you to some sort of backstreet places you wouldn't necessarily find if you're a tourist there for the first time. We had maybe six or seven tacos.

It was, oh, did I? That's a great day. And was that a tourist thing? Yeah, it was a run. Matt can be such a diabolical bitch sometimes. It's a place that I wouldn't necessarily have found myself. You'd never find it as a tourist on this tourist trip. You're going to dive with the inside word on Mexico City.

And the guy who was running it, he was a Mexican chef who'd just come back from living in Australia for seven years where he was the head chef at the Penny Black right here on Sydney Road. Wow. That's wild. He found it from Melbourne and he was like, this is awesome. That's so cool. In the olden days, they used to have birthday parties there. Back when you had friends. You were a twinkle in your

popper's eye back then yeah um Penny Black is a very old institution the I've got three names to induct in here okay tell people anything else uh no all right here we go I'm on the door got the clipboard out if you hear your name jog on in I'll lift up the velvet rope uh Dave's on the stage he's gonna hop up the crowd, getting them to chant your name with a bit of weak wordplay. Jess is going to hop up Dave. And then hang around for the after party, we've got MIT playing some of their classic hits.

Dave, what are some of their classics? Some of their classics, look, I've, there's Jalalay, Instrumental, Mexico, Solidad, featuring Damon Albarn, it's pretty cool. That's cool. That's good. Maybe we can request some of these new songs we came up with today as well. Even though none of those people will be in there to hear them. No.

All right. Here we go. All from the United States of America, which you talked about in today's report, Dave. Yes. I wonder if any of these places were taken over in this war. First up from Ohio, Pickerington, to be precise. Welcome, Dan Fox. Dan Fox, you rocks.

My socks. Oh, that's good stuff. That's good stuff. And my jocks. Dan's sick of getting Dan the man. Yeah. So that's nice. Sly as a fox. Yeah. Dan, welcome. Welcome, Dan. From Ohio, God's country itself. Very jealous as a fox. Yeah. Dan, welcome. Welcome, Dan. From Ohio, God's country itself.

Very jealous you get to live there. Next up from Washington state, Seattle, if I'm being more specific. Hey, baby, they hear the blues are calling. And thank you so much and welcome Tess Mussolino. They've passed the test. It's Tess Mussolino. Welcome in, Tess. Pew, pew, pew, pew. I wonder if I used to have an eye on the end. They've passed the test! It's Test Mussolino! Welcome in, Test! I wonder if I used to have an eye on the end.

It feels like that name was ruined a little bit a century or so ago. And finally from Collingswood in New Joise! Mussolini. I've never had to explain something to Dave. That felt good. My time frame might have been off. He's like. Century. That's not quite right.

Oh, OK. Muscle. 1925. OK. Maybe his father. I was in office from 1922 to 1943, Dave, but whatever. His father was. I hate it when my dad's fight. from 1922 to 1943, Dave, but whatever. His father was.

I hate it when my dad's fight. I for some reason did think you were talking about Tessie. When he said, I probably used to have an eye on the envelope of Bruin. You're like, maybe Matt just prefers the name Tessie to Tess, OK? Little hint there to Tess. And finally. Caroline Rock. I want a Caroline all night. And instead of Rock. Instead of Rock, that's the joke there.

OK. I could have said Rock and Roll. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to? Do you want to? Sweet Rock. Rock, Rock, Rock. Do you want to give a quick Rock yeah?

This is a this is a hundred percent a Rock yeah. Any relation I wonder. Do you want to give a quick rock yeah? This is a, this is a hundred percent a rock yeah. Any relation I wonder. Are you related to Ellen Rock? Caroline please tell us. Caroline please. Caroline please. Caroline please. Are you related to my third favourite actor? Caroline. It's funny that there's like an inner city suburb in Melbourne called

Collingwood. And that's Collingswood. Collingswood. That's crazy. Where are we living? That's crazy. What a world we live in. That's crazy. Welcome in Caroline, Tess and Dan, please make yourselves at home. It's so good to have you here. Couple of spots left for Mum's Friday Cross Stitch Class. Oh yeah, and you won't have heard about it because you just come in, but a really in-demand

course I'm putting on doing voices, doing a lot of fun voices, a lot of different kinds of voices. And yeah, sign up. I think we got maybe three spots left. It's an intensive. Yeah. One on three. Yeah. That's great.

Good luck to you. That brings us to the, I'm gonna unpack my Trump and repack it again and you can see how I do it step by step. Yeah, it's exciting. Mainly emptying them on and putting my fingers up and together and out again. Like little windscreen wipers. Putting them out, putting them back together.

Anything we need to tell people before we go, Boppa? Well, nah. Nah, you can find us on social media, dogoonpod.com is our website where you can suggest a topic, you can find information about our other wonderful podcasts and everything else that we do. And apart from that, we love you. Dave, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be ban- We'll be bananito. Oh God, Dave, you've got this guy on your mind now.

My problem is I'm on Rozzy's.com.au trying to find a place. Dave, say it right. Rozzy.com.au. And you can go on to find a store and very optimistically they have, are you searching in Australia or internationally? Oh. This could be, I don't know. Bring this baby home, Dave.

We will. Then you can look at Rozzy's. We will be back next week with another fantastic slice of Rozzy's and an episode to boot. But until then, also thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Goodbye, laters, Rozzy's. Bye. I won't say it. Born in Melbourne.

I won't say it. Born in Melbourne, Rosy's is the collaborative outcome of seasoned food and business operators who have combined their past 30 plus years of industry experience to create a truly exciting offer. Bloody hell, we're still rolling. Okay. Vibrant energy, eclectic style, fade me down style. And the perfect mix of tradition and innovation is in our rosy blood. Qualities. Oh, I think I've been turned off.

Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way, you'll never, never miss out. there.