Do Go On - 506 - Mr. Democracy Manifest and his Succulent Life

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

On 11 October 1991, a man was arrested at a Chinese Restaurant in Brisbane. The charge? Enjoying a meal? A Succulent Chinese Meal?? No… actually it was credit card fraud. Now I was assured that I could speak, so this week I will tell the story of the man, the myth, the legend himself and his wild life!CW: institutional abuse is briefly mentionedThis is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:50 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Carnage by Mark DapinABC's Earshot: A Succulent Chinese Mealhttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-11/succulent-chinese-meal-rant-jack-karlson/100798094https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-08-08/jack-karlson-succulent-chinese-meal-arrest-video-dies/104198912https://www.smh.com.au/national/this-is-democracy-manifest-mystery-star-of-viral-video-found-at-last-20200307-p547vr.htmlhttps://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/dec/31/from-isnack20-to-tony-abbotts-onions-the-best-australian-memes-of-the-decadehttps://www.pedestrian.tv/entertainment/succulent-chinese-meal-guy-investigation/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodgies_and_widgieshttps://www.newspapers.com/article/the-sydney-morning-herald/5383931/?locale=en-AUhttps://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/theatre/the-prose-of-a-con-20120629-217dg.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello there do go on friends It is me Matt Stewart letting you know that I've got a couple of big tours coming up in Australia and the UK The Australian tour is happening this August 2025 going to Brisbane Sydney Newcastle Adelaide and Hobart and then over to the UK in September for Edinburgh Cambridge Birmingham Manchester Swansea and London. Holy moly, I'm so pumped up. Our tickets are all on sale. Get them via matstew at comedy.com and I'll see you there.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello. Hey Dave, jeez it's good to be here with you and you. I'm talking to Jess there for the listeners and also Dave. What about the listeners? Oh them as well. Yeah. Yes. So good to be with them. I love being inside of your ear holes.

Poor thing. I mean, it was already, it was a bit crook, but it was about to be way crook. I'm getting it. Just picture it. I'm in there tickling away. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mum. Is that the sound you make when you tickle? Yeah. OK. I like it. Yeah, perfect. No, no, it's.

Oh, Jess, you should explain for new listeners how the show works. Oh, my God. Firstly, hi. Welcome. And you're welcome for that ear tickle we just gave you. Sorry about that. First one's free. So how that works. Just a little taste.

How this show works is one of the three of us, Dave, Jess and Matt. Hello. We go away, we research a topic, we tell the others all about it. The topics are often suggested to us by our fantastic listeners. We research it, we bring it back to the other two who listened very politely, who never interrupt. Um, and sometimes they know it's quite a long report. And so they they're going to kind of purposely hold back a little just so we can get it done.

No, well don't. I mean, I told you this one is one of the longest songs I've ever written, but don't let that affect your enjoyment. Oh, I've already switched off. And the process. And we always get onto the topic with a question. Matt, do you have a question for us? That's true. I have a question and it goes to Dave.

Dave, how are you going with your editing process for your comedy? This is, I'm just working in a plug here. This is actually, I was nothing to report. Oh, how am I going with editing my standup special? Yes, yes. It's going great. I'm watching it back. I'm not cringing at myself at all.

I'm loving it. I'm loving watching 60 minutes of myself speaking into a microphone. Yeah, and I think other people will like it as it's going to be released on the Humdinger channel at the end of this month. As it's yours I believe coincidentally. That's right. Yeah, it's called Best Man. Mm-hmm. It's a show about, you know, just sort of taking the piss out of weddings. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. I went to some weddings and they were, I thought weddings. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. I went to some weddings and they were, I thought they were bit of fun. I got married in that period you're talking about. Yes. So I think if you watch it, you know, you can kind of picture. Picture. The

source material. Yeah. But yeah, no, so yeah, the Humdinger channel, which is the new name of the stupid old channel. That's right. They've had a rebrand and we are honored to be part of the first few shows going out on the YouTube channel there. Yes, the microphone did just hit me in the face and just laugh. But the microphone doesn't hit me in the face on my special because we edited those bits out.

But yeah, so my show is called Even Hotter in Real Life and it's just about having a really hot life. Yeah, so if you haven't already, subscribe to the stupid old channel slash the Humdinger channel on YouTube. And yeah, we're going to have a little watch party. Yeah, we're going to have a premiere. It's a Saturday night, Saturday, July 26th, and you can watch both our specials back to back there as they go

out and it'll be like you're in the room. Yeah. Exciting. So exciting. All right, but here's my question to get us on the topic. I answered the question, so I feel like I should get a point for that. I think, yeah, Bob's listening, Bob keeps scores. Yeah.

That'll be up to him. It's up to Bob. We, I think Bob is entirely unimpeded, uninfluenced. What's the word I'm actually trying to say? Unimpressed. Unimpressed. Neutral. Neutral.

He's unbiased. Unbiased. So he'll make that decision, Dave. I'm pretty sure Bob, though, you won't give him a point. No, I don't think so. Fair enough, Bob. So here is the actual question. Can you finish this famous Australian quote?

No. Okay, Jess, I'll throw it up to you. Here's how it begins. Probably not is the answer, is my answer. Okay. So it leaves you to have a little window. Now we're both back in. Okay, back in.

What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal? Correct! That is correct. Today we're going to be telling the story of the succulent Chinese meal man. No way! It finally happened? Yes. We're here? To be honest, I've put this up for the vote three times and it's won every time. The first time was about three years ago. I can't, something happened happened and wasn't able to be done.

And then I'm like, oh, but I'm collect more info was coming out at the time. They thought it was a different guy that first time. Oh, so I was probably lucky that I waited. And then the next time Jess was away and I then messaged all the patrons and I said, I kind of feel like this one just should be there for and they agreed. It was the, and I ended up instead doing Hepsetsut. Which probably, yeah, because you did that with two American podcasters who would not have had, oh, maybe because that video is global.

Yeah, it's hard to know, but yeah. But feels like it's particularly strong here. An Australian icon. Yes. That's right. Wow. I've heard it's particularly strong here. An Australian icon. Yes. That's right. Wow. I don't really know. I've heard lots of different potential stories.

So this is very exciting. Well, that's it. Yeah. Cause I think I remember that, you know, it was, we weren't sure who it was for a while. Yeah. Or even if the video was real. Yeah. I remember at one point reading a blog, someone saying this is, it's not a, this was actors and stuff.

Right. I'm like, I like really. Wow. Give them a, give them the gold logo. Right. I'm like, really? Wow, give them the gold logo. It's an incredible performance. So this was suggested by Fee Leslie from Running Stream New South Wales, Libby Mason from Winston Salem, North Carolina, Kelly Clark from Malgam Ongap, mainland on Wadak Noongar, Daniel Vickers from Orlando, Florida, Greta Pigott from Sydney, Australia, Sheehan from Perth, but lives in London, Bec Taylor from Kingsville, Victoria, and finally from LOL radio and Colac, Joff.

Love you Joff. All right. Wow. So yeah, obviously quite a few people suggested it in different, different times. And like some of those people also suggested a long time ago before a lot, you know, he really came out out at himself as himself. But I'll get to that later. Anyway, so let's go back to what made him famous. It was the 11th of October 1991 when a man was arrested at a Chinese restaurant in Brisbane.

The charge? Enjoying a meal. A succulent Chinese meal. No, it was actually credit card fraud. They can't put that down for the charge. Luckily for us, the arrest was captured on film and the video was uploaded to the internet. In 2019, Naaman Zao wrote for The Guardian that it was perhaps the preeminent Australian meme of the past 10 years.

High praise indeed when you consider that his listicle on The Guardian also included Vegemite Ice Snack 2.0, The Just Waiting for a Mate Guy, Johnny Depp's Dogs, Pistol and Boo, and of course, Tony Abbott Eating a Raw Onion. Prime Minister Tony Abbott, if you don't, international listeners. He just bit it like an apple. Yeah, it was psycho. At a press conference. He knew there were cameras there.

He was proud to do it. It was all, it was, and it was not even necessarily his oddest moment on camera. No, it was it was one of them. Yeah. But that's the thing. It was one of his weird moments. It was that one where he winked at John Fane and another one where he just didn't talk at all. And Tony, Tony, you're not saying anything.

And then he just says nods a lot more and then says, I gave you the answer. He's like, he's made a great point, but he just looked like a weird, because the whole time he's just nodding in silence. I think he was thinking, like to me, he hadn't, that wasn't where he was always going. He's going, oh fuck, this is weird now. What do I say? Um, I need to, how do I salvage this? Tony.

I've got it. You aren't saying anything. Is that the great thing about journalists and scientists? Well, especially because it was a radio interview, right? So I'd be aware as a radio presenter that after six seconds of silence, we're going to dead air. I think so. And emergency tapes kicking in. So you'd have to be like, Tony, you're not saying anything.

I picture that one being on TV, but maybe it wasn't. The wink one was definitely on radio because he thought there was no camera. What a moron. Because he was winking. There was something. Pretty crook. Something crook, was it? Yeah. Anyway, he gave a wink like old school.

A real, you know, locker room sort of wink. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I mean. I don't. I've never been in a locker room. You've never been in a room? They won't let me in. Let me in. You're really I mean. I don't. I've never been in a locker room. You've never been in a room?

They won't let me in. Let me in. You're really missing out. Locked out. I want to see. What's happening in there? What are you doing in there? What's going on in there?

Tell me, show me. Tony, you're not saying anything. All right, let's get into it. So in his book Carnage, crime writer Mark Dappen does a great job describing the viral video writing. crime writer Mark Dappen does a great job describing the viral video writing, Democracy Manifest is a brief but memorable news clip of an indignant bear of a man in a striped short-sleeved shirt being manhandled into a Ford Falcon by three uniformed police officers and two detectives. They are outside the China Sea restaurant in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley. You're under arrest, said the detective.

I'm under what? Demands the man as if he has never heard anything so ridiculous. The police officers grab him by the arm and push him from behind as he roots himself to the pavement and addresses an unseen audience of TV news people. Gentlemen, he proclaims magnificently. This is democracy manifest He will not be carried by the men trying to force him in through the car door Have a look at that headlock here. He says to the TV camera see that chap over there He suddenly he explodes get your hand off my penis

He points to the detective behind him. This is the book who got me on the penis before he says Why did you do this to me? For what reason? What is the charge? Eating a meal? A suck of a Chinese meal? Then to an officer who can barely keep a grip on him. Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. Ah, yes. I see that you know your judo well. He turns his attention to another officer. Adieu sir, he asks. Are you waiting to receive my limp penis? An officer grabs his legs. How dare?

The others lift him up and feed him feet first into the car. Get your hands off me, comes the demand. Finally he allows himself to be apprehended, but not without a parting ta-ta and farewell to the camera. Dappen continues. You have to watch the video for yourself to fully appreciate the theatrics. A generation of Australian millennials know the script by heart. He is a masterful, indomitable, bombastic, aggrieved and funny.

You can hear a TV news reporter sniggering in the background and you get the sense that the police wished desperately they had not invited the media to witness this particular arrest. I wonder why there was media there. It's really interesting because it's kind of disputed as to why. But yeah, the Channel 7 report, I'm going to quote from him in a second. He tells his version of it, how he came to be there. And yeah, I will be quoting a bit from Dappen's book. He's probably done by far the most research that I could find on his life.

And is it just a part of Carnage the book or is the whole book about him? Well, it really, he is like the, his entryway into some pretty grisly stuff. Like I didn't, I haven't even read through the whole book because a lot of the center chapters are about grisly murders, like quite grisly murders that he was sort of tangentially involved with because he'd been in prisons and he knew the person who knew the person or he spent time. So he uses that as a window into these stories. But yeah, I'm only only I'm quoting certain chapters that are appropriate to this episode, of course. Yeah, like, for

instance, our man, the succulent Chinese man, meal man, he The succulent Chinese man. There's a couple of distinctions there, isn't there? Yeah. But he, like his, he was married a couple of times, but one of his wives was killed by an infamous serial killer. Oh wow. Probably, but I haven't gone through those chapters.

The succulent Chinese meal man's wife was killed by a serial killer. Or yeah, some sort of, yeah, in a real grisly sort of way as well. Oh my god. One of his kids died in quite a rough way. And so I'm not going to go into those sort of things too much. It's probably just not really the appropriate. Yeah. I mean, I know we've done it in the past.

Yeah, but we've grown. We've grown and changed. I mean, I think it was two months ago I did a story about a syracuse. And we've grown. We've grown in those two months. But for some reason, this, I don't know why, but this particular story, it feels like it's such a gear change. And I mean, there are, there'll be some grim stuff, but I won't dwell on it too much.

So yes, why did the police invite the media to film the arrest? Well, apparently they received a call saying that one of Australia's most wanted criminals was at the restaurant and they called the media to make sure it was caught on camera. They're like, we're going to have this big arrest. There's a lot of inconsistencies in the story. Everyone's telling it slightly differently. Even that line itself, I've seen written three different ways. Australia's most wanted criminal, Queensland's most wanted criminal, and Victoria's most

wanted criminal. But yeah, about the incident, the ABC's Lawrence Bull writes, he was treating at this is the succulent Chinese meal man. He was treating a friend to lunch at one of his favourite local restaurants. He'd been there so many times that he'd been, he'd often be offered a complimentary drink. A fraud investigator working for American Express. Glass of water. For free.

For free, yeah. Sparkling. They love me here. Yeah, that's the kind of cloud I have in this establishment. Yeah, sparkling? No. Absolutely not. I hate that shit.

Can you leave the jug? No. No, no. Well, top it off once. We need to give that to other customers. A fraud investigator working for American Express was tracking someone who had been paying the restaurant using stolen credit cards. Bull continues.

The investigator called Triple O, which is our- Our 9-9-1. Yeah, or what's the English one? 9-9-9. 9-9-9. And some international is a 1-1-2. Well, there, no. And something tells us a 112. There you go. Then perhaps pushing for a quick capture, he reported this is the American Express

Investigator. He reported him as one of Queensland's most wanted. Police surrounded the restaurant, corralled the waiting media and interrupted the lunch. He was as calm as anything. Former police detective Adam Furman says of the arrest. Furman we'll talk about later. He's one of the plainclothes cops. So watching on as the others wrestle him or is he? He's there. He him and his plainclothes, or, you know, plainclothes as in suit and tie detective cops.

They were the two that had the he touched my penis, which I'll talk about towards the end, how they dealt with all of that. Because apparently one of them wrote an article eventually saying, I did not. I had to come out and- But there's footage of it, and when he clearly hasn't- To make a statement. Yeah, yeah.

I'm sure it was a little bit tongue in cheek. But Furman says, he was happy to go with us. Well, as happy as you can be as you're being arrested, until he saw all the media. And that's when he just went berserk. And apparently the dramatic performance ended as soon as they were out of sight of the cameras. Uh, Furman says, as soon as we drove away, he stopped and he said, that was fun. That's really good. At the other end, there was no fight getting him out of the car. Nothing.

It was all put on for the cameras. Which is their fault that the cameras were there. Exactly. Yeah. Dappen spoke to the Channel 7 reporter who covered the story, Chris Reason, who I think you'd recognise him if you saw him. I'll show you a quick picture. He's like-

He's a good name for a TV journalist. Yeah, really good. Chris Rees. Very trustworthy. You know him from? Maybe not? No, I don't. No, I don't think I recognise him, but I- Very vaguely familiar, but he just sort of looks like most middle-aged white men.

Well, yeah, probably YouTube, maybe, I know, probably not as engaged with journalism and that sort of stuff. I know you having done a journalism degree probably discounts what I've just said. Worked at the ABC for six years. Yeah, well, he's a commercial guy. Yeah, I wouldn't know him. I wouldn't know him. You call that lame stream pap. Correct.

Anyway, he's a multi-Walkley award-winning journalist, also multi-Logie award-winning. Okay. Really? For this reason, my gosh. He's a multi Walkley award winning journalist also multi Logie award winning. Okay. Really? For this reason? My gosh. And he was just a 20 something year old rookie reporter at the time of the democracy manifest arrest.

He, yeah. Democracy man arrest? Man. That's good. Democracy man arrest. You know, I'm just trying. That's actually really good. Thanks man. Yeah, my patience.

That, for those of you that are high-fiving. The air. The air, because neither of them took me up on it. And they're both, if you don't know, they're out of arms reach in the studio. Yeah, but we're within arms reach of each other. I'm gonna high-five you, Jess, for your fantastic pun. Democracy man-arrest. Yeah, fantastic pun. The democracy man arrest.

Yeah, well. What democracy man arrest? Yeah. Was that what you were implying that a little bit? No, just like manifest man arrest. It was more of a pun man toe. Yeah. It was a pun man toe.

Yeah, I love that. So this is back to Dappen. When I rang Reason to ask him about the arrest, he told me that he had been working as a rookie TV reporter in Queensland in 1991 when when he received information that the Fraud Squad were going to arrest the suspect. Those were the days, he said, this is so funny, the way he, still working journalist talks about the heyday of them being cops and journalists working. Those were the days when police used to tip you off prior to raids and didn't go off and shoot at themselves and hand you the video. The great old days when you had contacts and you wined them and dined them, the cops, and you lived in their pockets and they lived in yours. And there was this great symbiotic relationship between crime reporters and police.

So funny, the great days when we wind and dine cops. Yeah. And famously, Queensland had quite a problem with their police department in the 1980s. Yeah, super corrupt. Anyway. Ah, the good old days. The good old days. When I used to manipulate people into doing what I wanted to benefit me and only me. Yeah, you know, you know what journalists do? We make the news and then report on it. Yeah.

We organize it with the cops, you know, journalism. Anyway, he said they thought it was a far bigger, it was far bigger in the crime world than the man actually turned out to be saying, this is the call he reckons he got. We're going to be hitting him at this restaurant. Get down in now. We're going to make an arrest. And the Channel Seven officers were close by to the restaurant. So he was able to arrive with a cameraman really quickly. As reason recounts, we raced up and there was this larger than life physically strong guy coming out. There were three or four cops on top of him and he was holding them at bay. They just couldn't get him into the back of this old police Falcon.

It is genuinely incredible to watch how hard it is for them to get him to do anything. He is giving a Shakespearean soliloquy. Yeah, like it is incredible the strength he must have. They're really struggling. He not only refused to go quietly, he wanted to go very noisily. He just had this stream of consciousness of brilliant one-liners and a very serious story was suddenly very comical. The team took the tape back to the newsroom and when the footage was shown, reason continues,

the news editor fell about laughing. Everybody came into the edit booth to have a look. The next day, someone rang up and said they stuffed it up. It wasn't the guy they thought it was. This guy was just a petty criminal. It was a case of mistaken identity, apparently. Before it went viral online, the arrest went viral around the Channel 7 news offices

as Reason remembers. For years afterwards, people would randomly shout in the newsroom, get your hand off my penis. Let's go out for a succulent Chinese meal. It became a part of the lexicon, part of the culture. It was a full 18 years after the arrest though, that the footage was uploaded to YouTube. And while the footage was from the channel seven report, it wasn't of the story that aired back in 91. Reason said the type that went up on YouTube hasn't got my voice on.

It's the original raw type. A bit filthy about that. Well, he's like, that could have, that could have been me. I was, I was given some fantastic. I was also being very quippy. But he's also like, obviously they got the raw footage, whoever put it up. It's probably, it was passed around around inside the industry before being uploaded. For years after the video was uploaded, no one was sure who the man being arrested was

as the video didn't have his reporting of the incident. Even if it had, the man was going by a different alias at the time, so may not have helped anyway. Even in 2019, when The Guardian was calling it the Aussie meme of the decade, they weren't sure of his identity, calling him simply an incredibly dramatic man. The article says, this is back in 2019, the original video identifies the man as Paul Charles Dozer, a Hungarian-Australian chess master who was recorded by numerous newspapers in the 1980s as a prolific dine and dasher. But the article concedes, it's a good story, but there is no actual evidence that this video is of Dozer. And people who knew him say the man in the clip does not look or sound like him. Okay. Well, that's a pretty good clue, I think.

That's the story I always read years and years and years ago. The chess, yeah. Chess man who was famous for dining and dashing years ago. The chess. Yeah. Chess man. Chess master. Who was famous for dining and dashing. And they've finally gotten him. Yes. And I think they took one on one and got four sort of thing. You know, like that old saying goes. And, and yeah, I reckon he does look a bit like him, but yeah.

I even looked up the Hungarian guy. Yeah. But those spoke with a Hungarian accent. Yeah. And clearly are, uh, spoke with a Hungarian accent. Yeah. And clearly our man did not. I love that it was like quoted around the channel seven office for ages. Cause I think when I first saw it was probably right before one of our UK tours. So 2018 maybe. And you in particular, Dave, were quoting it a lot on that tour.

Every time I walk into a room. Ah, yes. Yeah, but it was also every time you just wanted to say yes to a question. You'd be like, should we go get some food? Ah yes. Like it was, and I'm not saying that as a criticism, I loved every second of it. It was a lot of fun. The ah yes in particular makes me think of you now.

Ah yes. That's an underrated line, because every element of the speech is brilliant. Yes. But that ah yes bit is probably the least quoted one. Yeah, and then I see you know your judo well. My favorite bit, I'm not sure even sure it was part of the recap, but my absolute favorite bit is, but you just assured me that I could speak. Oh yes, that's right.

And then I go and reply something like, look, no one's assured you of anything. No one's assured you of anything, sir. You just assured me. I could speak. No, he didn't. Just like in this, cause he's got this beautiful big voice, tiny little Queenslander voice. No one's assured you of anything. No, I didn't say nothing. Yeah, so it says, um, just a minute.

You just assured me that I could speak. Sit down inside the car. When we're not as sure assuring anything, you're under arrest. Look, I'm under what? I'm under what? Yeah, that was it. I'm under what? Yeah, that's it.

It's just every single line of it is so iconic. It's brilliant. It's so funny that even if like it did come out that it was just a sketch, I'd be like, well, that's the best thing that's ever been written. Hats off that's way funnier than how you come up with it. Who thought of that? What kind of fucking amazing genius thought of that? It's so funny. Get them a TV show.

Even better that's just straight off the top of a dome of a guy who's just like I'm just gonna fuck around because there's cameras here. And then gets in the car and behaves perfectly. It's just so funny. And he goes alright on to the station boys. Yeah, no let's yeah let's get this paperwork sorted out. No problem. Very funny stuff.

Yeah. And yeah, that Guardian article back in just 2019. So after we were already like over quoting it, the article said it could be Dozer, it could be someone else or a scripted skit even, we're not sure. Yeah, I think that's so funny. The Times wrote of another theory. Apparently it was thought he was John Bartlett, a former New South Wales politician, which in turn inspired a tribute pop song by the satirist Brian Pern with the lyrics,

John Bartlett ate a Chinese meal, a succulent Chinese meal. That's beautiful. Have you looked up, does John Bartlett look any more like him or like a Hungarian chest grandmaster? They look slightly alike. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I reckon a little bit. Yeah. The Moe was doing a bit of the heavy lifting, but yes. Yeah, it was similar.

I see it. Oh, and then I guess I should show you Paul Dozer. It's funny, like, some of the photos that come up are of the succulent Chinese meal guy. That's really funny. It's clearly not him, but you can see that there could be a resemblance. If you had like one of those old school police lineups, which one of these men was the man? That guy could be in the line up. Yeah, it's like you could describe, the words of the description would be similar, sort

of roundish face, reddish cheeks, silver, you know, but do you look at them side by side? I go, it's not the same guy. Yeah. That guy kind of looks like he looks like a Norm Macdonald character or something, which will help put the picture in people's minds. It looks like Norm Macdonald who was playing a professional ten-pin bowler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we got it.

I think we got it. I think that if this becomes a series. Is that anything? I don't know. Is that what everyone else is thinking? Yeah, we're all thinking that. We're all thinking not McDonald's character, Tempio and Bully, yes? Sometimes I'll get stuck into like a into doing a certain genre. We all do like a certain genre of topics for a while.

Maybe this will be my thing and I'll do the background of different memes and I can do the Who do you think you are? I am. I'd love to know his story, but I doubt it's as wild as this guy's that I'm telling you about. Weeba? Is that his name? I... No idea. But let's find out. Next week, come to Ron. That is why I did it.

Equally, just another great spurt of sort of nonsense, but sort of like poetry. Who do you think you are? I love that. That's great too. So of Doza, the Hungarian chessman, Dapin writes, from Hungary, he arrived in Australia in 1965. He was a creative, if not brilliant chess player who won the New South Wales chess championship in 1977. He credited his, this is not where I saw this going. He credited his chess skill to an implant placed into his body by what he called Hungarian military research during his time as an Eastern Bloc secret agent. Okay.

Wild stuff. Yeah. They like sort of Morse coding him. King to E5. I don't think he was really sure about it. He wrote about it in his own words on his website though, saying, quote, the knowledge of the Hungarian research is extremely advanced. Since 1958, I did not have taken any medicine, painkiller or sleeping pill.

They have been replaced with harmonising electromagnetic waves and hypnotic suggestions. The way of the communication is Budapest Research Centre satellite and my implant. The researchers can dominate the implanted subject's mind and control their body. They can kill any of us who has the implant or can make us mentally or physically ill or good at chess. or go to sleep. So I wouldn't mind a chip that I could then like connect to my phone and I could be like, okay, not time off to sleep. Oh, you and you turn the phone off and you turn off. No, I just set your alarm and you're like, it's an app. I've got an app on my phone.

Oh, that you can turn your own chip off. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely trust. I can go to sleep. I trust that. Get a decent sleep, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you wanted to watch TikToks in your sleep.

Okay. Now that's good. Just as ideas just flash in front of our eyes. I could get so much more TikToking done. So much, you could be TikToking like 18 hours a day. Perfect. Instead of the 17 you're doing right now. I could be doing it right now in my head. We wouldn't know. And you guys wouldn't know. You could be tick tocking like 18 hours a day. Perfect. Instead of the 17 you're doing right now. I could be doing it right now in my head.

We wouldn't know. You'd just start laughing. That I'd be having a much better time. Yeah. Have you watched any Murderbot? No. He's like the Murderbot played by Skarsgård or whatever. He's doing that a lot.

Other, the people he works with are talking, but he's watching, he's downloaded like all sorts of weird space dramas and stuff that he's watching in his mind's eye? Does he do a bit of nodding to make it look like he's in part of the conversation, but really it's learning about black holes? So yeah, not sure how true this implant story is. Yeah. Really?

I get the feeling maybe it's not, not fully true. I believe it. But if it is true, perhaps, uh, one of their secret goals was to make him a world-class Dine and Dasha. Yeah. Because he was the best of the best. Wow. Really?

That's pure profit for the Hungarian government. They haven't paid for a million years. Did anybody else's dads when you'd go out for dinner at a restaurant make a joke every single time about doing a runner? No, I don't. Just my dad? I don't think so. No, in what way?

Like at the end when the bill comes, be like, oh, sorry. And then just pretend to run away? No, no, no. He would just sort of like, he would be like, have you got good shoes on? Oh, yeah. We're doing alright. You know? That's fun. Every time.

Yeah. It's like you had your own succulent Chinese man at home. Don't you dare. Do you think your dad had a chip? And was he good at chess? Uh, I think okay at chess. Okay. But maybe a chip. Yeah, that makes sense.

I love the chip just makes them a massive tired ass. Yeah, yeah. Do I want to pay for a meal? Really good at chess and bad at paying my bill. Seagulls love chips. Is there anything there? Because they're sort of scavengery and... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, something. Oh, is there something there? Yes, there is. Worth exploring, I think. Yeah. Maybe on your own time, yeah. Yeah, it's sick. You come back in, I got the red, the red wool.

Yeah, the string. The string. No, I've gone for wool. Fuck. I stuffed it out. Oh, yeah, think again. It's so thick. And warm.

Can't see anything on there. The board's just knitted. I like to knit. I'm so deep anything on there. The board's just knitted. I learnt to knit. I'm so deep into this now. I can't stop. I'm cross stitching, I'm back stitching. Three, two, one, six, six. My wife left me for this.

I'm not, I'm needle nodding. Yep, no, that's definitely a thing. Yeah, that one's a thing. Dappen writes, by March 1990, Dozer was facing his 79th charge of refusing to pay for a restaurant meal. So what was the charge? Refusing to pay for a meal. There you go.

He was then 50 years old and he had enjoyed soup, oysters, fillet steak and salad, wine, dessert, cognac and Campari at the Gourmet Manor House restaurant in Belle Main. That's a lot. That's too much. I thought it was a soup at first. I was like, who cares? Let him go. Yeah, the first couple of things I was like, what a dull lunch. Or like, not for me. But he just said yes to everything. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, any digestives? Yeah, three cognacs. Okay. To help me digest. No one ever, we don't even have the cognac. No one ever says yes ever. I've never had someone say yes.

Nobody's ever accepted a dessert wine. It's pretty, it's crazy to think that this is a highfalutin dinner. Back in 1990, the bill was $119. 1990, what a year. What a year. He called the police on himself, apparently. What? He was called an adapting, alleging that he had held up the restaurant staff.

This is what he said to the cops on the phone. He was drunk. He had too many free cognos. And then the manor house was stormed by armed officers who were coming to respond to what they thought was an armed robbery, but it wasn't. So yeah, armed officers from the tactical response group found him sitting at his table, digesting his lunch. He said, quote, my name is Paul Dozer.

I pay for no meals. Take me away. Was he hoping you would create some sort of distraction that he can run out of? I don't know. Paul, what's your plan here, buddy? Paul, babe. Did the government tell you to do this for the chip? It's got a, have you guys seen The Princess Bride?

It's got a bit of that. Oh, Nigger Montoya. I have, my name is Nigger Montoya. Did you just ask me if I have seen The Princess Bride? Yeah, have you? Never seen it. No, I've heard good things. I think you've heard it.

Yeah, do you reckon? It's a great flick. Oh, give it a go. I'm kidding, I fucking love The Princess Bride.? It's a great flick. Give it a go. I'm kidding. I fucking love the Princess Bride. Because what's his line? Say the line again.

What did he say? My name is Bulldozer. I pay for no meals. Take me away. I prepare to take me away. Dozer subsequently informed a court that he had hoped to get his name in the Guinness Book of Records for criminal lunching. Oh, wow.

Okay. Because you got to, with the Guinness, you got to document everything really well. Yeah. So if you've got, if you've been arrested. But you have different seats. I know, but it's so true. So true. I was so proud of that. Did you see?

That's really good. How's he? You led with your lead. Dave, love me. But if he's got 79 arrests, confirmed. Right. According to Courtney Frye writing for Pedestrian, by 1995, the renowned meal thief had achieved a self-proclaimed world record of 111 Dine and Dash convictions.

I know Courtney Frye. Sorry, just got excited. She works at Triple J. Courtney, you listening right now? Courtney. Courtney. Probably not. No.

Why would you know? Sorry, I got confused. I just said your name. She didn't just say my name. No, Courtney. Sorry, the Hungarian chip in my brain is playing up. But all good things must come to an end. And Jess's friend Courtney says it was reported in the chess section

of The Weekend Australian in 2003 that Mr. Dozer had passed away at age 63. While Dozer had a passing resemblance to the Democracy Manifesto SD, it was not him. The lack of Hungarian accent in the viral video being the greatest clue. Also that he, you know, he wasn't the same person. You can tell that by with your eyes as well as your ears.

That's the second greatest clue. That's the second greatest clue. And that's why detectives go through rigorous training to detect. They're the best.ives go through rigorous training to detect. They're the best. They're the best of the best. It's perhaps possible that he was still connected to the arrest though. Maybe the case of mistaken identity wasn't just about the viral video, but it's possible

it also occurred on the day of the arrest. It's possible that the man, the American Express fraud investigator was after was Dozer and just happened to finger another man. A man we now know as Jack Carlson. Was there footage of that in the fingering? Touch me with your finger. Did you see that man? This is the man who touched me on the penis. So who was Jack Carlson?

Well, he's gone by a few different names over the years, and we'll hear a bunch of them throughout this episode, but he was born Cecil George Edwards in Queensland in 1942. Great name. Cecil George Edwards. And yeah, he went by a bunch of great names. His childhood was rough, very, very grim childhood. He didn't have much of a relationship with his parents and he was abused and mistreated in state run boarding schools. I caught on a dappin in February 1956.

He was convicted of nine charges. I've skipped over that, but it was, you know, grim stuff in his childhood. Skipping past that, the system was bad. Yeah. I caught on a dappin in February of 1956. He was convicted of nine charges of stealing and two charges of willful destruction of property. So this point is 1314. Less than a fortnight later, he was ordered to pay restitution on two more charges of destruction of property. And in November, he was convicted of destruction of property and stealing a car and was sent to Westbrook Farmhouse for boys near Toowoomba, which was also not very nice.

Sadly, the abuse continued here. Physical, maybe sexual as well. Things were so bad he decided to escape. He said that's the only option and this is something he does a bit over his life, bit of an escape artist. Dappen writes, Carlson and his friends fled west at sunset. They believed they would not be caught as they could not be seen because they were running into the sun. But no, they captured me, said Carlson, took me back. I didn't want to stay there. It was terrible. His punishment for escaping was being stripped naked and flogged with a leather strap. Real horrific stuff. Apparently you couldn't make any if you made a sound you had to say,

Sir, Sir. Just like everything about is really awful. Yeah. Like some of the stuff from there and the place he was earlier as a child, like he was he wet the bed a bit and their way of dealing with that was humiliation. And I think they even made him sleep under the floor. Because kids who suffer a lot of trauma wet the bed.

So traumatizing them more. So his whole childhood was pretty, pretty, pretty grim. Yeah, sounds awful. At the age of 16, he was released. In Dappin's words, he was full of fury. On the outside, Carlson hung around with adult criminals. He became a bodgie. You familiar with that term?

No, it's a bodgie. No. I'd heard it before. This is according to Wiki. It was a youth subculture that existed in Australia and New Zealand in the 1950s, similar to the rocker culture in the UK or the greaser culture in the United States. Most bodgies rode motorbikes, but some had cars, many of which were embellished with accessories such as mag wheels and hot dog mufflers. Bodgies engage in violence, but there was never any motive behind these acts.

Males were called bodgies and females were called widgets. Bodgies and widgets. So you spoke like you're trying to look tough, but you call yourself a bodgie and a widget. Yeah. So because the overseas people had greases and rockers and Australia had bodgies. Bodgies. That's not as cool as it. No.

And I think like with Teddy Boys in England, similarish as well, maybe. Which again doesn't sound- Teddy Boys. Teddy Boys. I'm like, great. Oh no. In May of 1959, so yeah, apparently in the book, Dappen says that he had- I can't remember the phrase-

He has a lot of great phrasing in the book, but he said something like- Something about a magnificent queef. Queef? Queef? Quaff? Queef. Quaff. Queef.

Which I describe what you were trying to say, is that the hair queef? The high hair, yeah. That's queef. I mean, I say, as a person with a magnificent queef. You have a beautiful queef. You're very, very, I think it was bouffant even. Oh, bouffant. I can't wait for the um, actually.

Yes, I've got a big quiff, OK? It's beautiful. I don't have to argue about it. I've got to know Barbara, I say, short back and sides, leave the quiff. When he says my Barbara, that's the name of the auntie who gives him a quiff. There's one for you. Thanks, Auntie Barbara., Aunty Barbara. We call her Barbara.

One of those cute little child things. My cousin couldn't say Barbara. I got my Barbara. Which is Aunty Barbara. And I get a quiff. I mean, I have an auntie that we call Toe, so it is possible. Because you can say Toed. Thanks, Aunty Toad.

So in May 1959, he was done for stealing another car and again for theft later in the year. He and his mates then went on a crime spree with a slew of break-ins in small shops in South Queensland. Then, according to Dappen, they fled across the border to New South Wales, where they adopted pseudonyms. Carlson, who had been gone by the name of Chick Edwards, now called himself Mason. But their names could not hide their faces. And the Queensland coppers just came across the border, grabbed us in tweed heads and

took us back, said Carlson. Carlson was remanded in Brisbane Jail, which is better known as Boggo Road. It's like they're- Oh my God. I love Australia. It was there so much. It's like they're Pentridge, basically. So the bodgie's been remanded at Boggo.

In Boggo. Honestly, how do other countries take us seriously at all? I think bodgie is like dodgy bodgie. That's like it would start like they didn't. I don't think it started them going, we're bodgie. No, it's like, yeah. And there was like a group of apparently brutal cops, a task force that just stamped out the bodgie subculture with brutality.

Wow. Because, you know, like pearl clutches blame bodgies for everything, you know, because they're the youth. Yeah. It's weird. That's that has happened before. It's so funny how that happens every generation, every generation then still does it to the next generation. I know it's funny because we say that, but Gen X, man, they're...

The problem is that every generation is worse than last. The alphas. Oh, those alphas. It's just getting worse out there. Geez, you're sending it up and down. Oh, 100% but millennials are fine. Peak of culture. Oh, yeah. Peak of society. Future leaders. Gen alpha? No hope.

Back to Dappen. So, yeah, he's in Boga Road. Which is a pretty grim place, sounds like. Yes. He says that the red brick walls cheerfully tuck pointed like a monstrous lolly shop were infused with the pain of the prison's past as a place of execution. Wow, that's quite poetic. I like how Dappen describes the prison quite poetically again, writing, Boggo Road was a shithole.

It smelled of shit and the prisoners were treated like shit, shat on by the waters as they had been shat on by the courts. There was no plumbing in the cells of the decayed and overcrowded Edwardian remand wing, just shit tubs to be shared between shit men, then emptied at the Dunny parade each morning. So no plumbing. Just a bucket. And he was in a three to a cell sharing one bucket. And the food wasn't good.

And pretty quickly, they did. They were so hungry, but they're like, this food is not right. But they're so hungry that to eat got food poisoning. And yet. Are you shooting in a bucket? Yeah, they're spewing shooting in a bucket. It got to the brim. But they're told you only get one bucket a day.

You can't clean it out to the Dunny Parade in the morning, which I imagine is a lot of pomp and ceremony. The Dunny Parade. Yeah. Who's the king of the. The marching band I think, yeah. The monarchs of the Dunny Parade. Well I think it's sort of like a good behaviour thing.

So if you, it's like getting employee of the week. Yeah. So you get to be the king of the Dunny Parade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually very exciting. Get a crown and scepter. That's right. Sceptic.

Sceptic. Scepta. Baa. That's actually very exciting. Get a crown and scepter. That's right. Sceptic. Sceptic. Scepter. That's horrific and very unhygienic. So gross, but I mean. Rife for infection. Yeah. Do you, I don't know, do you want, there's a bit more to the story?

Skip it? Probably. Okay. Do they just throw it through the window? Yeah. Carlson was like, go on, please get us another bucket. We, we desperately need somewhere another bucket. And they, they said, no, it's one tub per cell. Why'd you ask? I'm fascinated. Carlson called him a filthy dog. So the water got his senior officer to

come down also said, no, you can't have a clean bucket. So then Carlson threw the bucket at the cop. Fair cop. Yeah. And then he said, can you imagine what they'd done to me? And Daphn says, says, wow, he said, as if remembering something he had seen happen to someone else. After he was beaten, Carlson was taken to solitary confinement

in the Black Peter, a dungeon at the foot of a flight of stone steps sealed by a trapdoor. His cell was a narrow space between two thick walls flanked by steel doors. There was no interior light. It was as dark as fear. Another good line from Dappen. That is good. He's a very good writer. Dappen continues, Carlson slept on a mat and shat into a small bowl. Each day he was given only half a loaf of bread and a panicking of water. So he soon could not shit at all. He was just a 17 year old boy alone. Oh, my God. I forgot that he's a teenager.

Yeah. Crazy. Says he's alone and helpless, turning in on himself, buried alive, screaming. It's just like pitch black darkness. And at this point, he was still being held on remand. He hadn't even faced court yet for his charges, you know, hadn't been found guilty. Lawrence Bull interviewed Carlson for ABC's Earshot in 2022. And according to Bull, the Black Peter was the worst thing Jack had ever experienced. He'd bang on the doors and fight with the guards, just so he could see the light for

a few minutes while they bashed him. The man in the cell next to him had been there for months. He finally lost his mind and was hauled off to an asylum. Jack still has nightmares about the Black Peter. He still sleeps with the light on. Oh, that's horrific. What a way to treat a troubled kid. Yeah. Yeah. Or just a human being in general, obviously. But yeah, when it's a kid, you're like, this is fucked.

This will rehabilitate, I reckon. Yeah, this will sort him out. Will knock it out of him. Yeah, that's awful. Back to Dappen. He was eventually allowed out to face his charges in court, but the prisoner who climbed up the stairs and through the jaws of the trapdoor was a changed person. He pleaded

not guilty. I defended myself, he said. I kept making a swine of myself, cross-examining coppers and saying to the judge, Yeah, go on, you're going to sentence me to jail. You've never been there. You don't know what you're sending me. You don't know where you're sending me. He was sentenced to five years hard labor. Wow. After being released, he married a woman named Monica. And in 1965, they had a child named Barbara. My auntie. Could have been your auntie. In Melbourne. Soon after he was convicted of petty larceny and charged with housebreaking and possession of explosives. So the young family fled to Mackay, then Maryborough in Queensland. There

he ran his own pest control business by day and burgled by night. When drinking heavily one day, he was picked up by the cops for drunken disorderly conduct and charged with using obscene language and resisting arrest. Unfortunately, that one wasn't caught on camera, but I imagine it would have been pretty good as well. I bet it was also a bit of fun. They took his fingerprints and then realized he was also wanted in Melbourne for his burglary, as well as for some burglaries in Maryborough. After a three month stint at Boggo Road, he was set to face court in Maryborough.

So he sort of wanted in different jurisdictions for his crimes and then you've done your time there, now you're going to have to go face the court in Maryborough. So he's sort of wanted in different jurisdictions for his crimes and then you've done your time there, now you're going to have to go face the court in Maryborough. And according to Dapin, police plan to transport him by rail from Brisbane to face court in Maryborough, handcuffed to another prisoner who was going north on a separate charge. And this is his second, I guess, and slightly more successful escape. The first one he ran into the sun and that didn't really work. This one, he says, run away from the sun. He told Bull, I was pretending to be asleep and the cop is opposite me. He's nodding off a bit as well.

So I've just undone the handcuff with the prong of my belt, tippy-toed down the corridor and leapt out of the bloody train. Apparently the handcuffs were a lot easier to pick back then. You just jumped off a moving train? Jumped off a moving train. Wow. Just like that, he'd escaped. And freedom felt good.

From there, Carlson said, I was careful. I'd just stay in the bush for a day and have a night. It was so beautiful. The breeze, that air. Just have a night. I don't get it. Stay in the bush for a day and have a night Yeah, okay. I make a night of it. Yes. Have a night

In the bush. Yeah, okay for a day I'd have a night It is like talking to a brick wall sometimes Beautiful and poetic like a lolly shop Yeah Really cute brick roll or brick wall sometimes. Beautiful and poetic like a lolly shop. I don't know if that quote was before. Yeah. I'm a really cute brick roll. Brick roll. Brick roll.

You just got brick rolled. I know, yeah, I don't really know what he means. Okay, yeah, okay. But I think he just, yeah. He's talking. Yeah, he's talking while listening. Yeah, sure thing, whatever. No, but he like, he is just, these are just quotes from an interview.

There's like, I heard all this, the audio of this. Yeah. So, you know, we don't all nail. Or that is just like old timey Aussie speak, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, yeah, not everybody speaks perfectly every single time they open their mouths. No, not back then. That would be crazy. Back, I mean, yeah, not everybody speaks perfectly every single time they open their mouths. No, not back then. That would be crazy. Back, I mean, we do. What?

Oh my God, actually, yeah, now that I think about it, we've never fumbled. I'm on the hottest streak of all time. Yeah, yeah. Thousands of years never mucked up. How about his line? It was so beautiful. The breeze, that air, freedom. That's nice.

Dappen writes, according to a press report at the time, the escaped prisoner was Helmut Marksen, aka Cecil George Edwards. It's not a bad, Helmut Marksen. That's quite like an interesting like memorable. Yeah, if I'm meeting a guy called Helmut, I'm remembering that. And then when I, when there's a prisoner on the loose named Helmut in the news, I'd be like, hey, I met a Helmut. You know, go for Max.

Yeah. Well, maybe once he's out, I think he probably changes it again. Yeah. Boring names. Timothy Johnson. Yes. Dime a dozen names. Dime a dozen. Great name. Dime a. Hello, I'm Dime a dozen. Is that a good drag name, maybe? I think so. Dime a dozen. Dime a'm Dime. Dime a dozen. Is that a good drag name maybe? I think so. Dime a dozen? Dime a dozen.

Dime. Yeah. First name just cause that's cute. Yeah. A dozen. I think, I think normally one element is like a real name. Yeah, Dime. Dime.

Dime. I've never heard of a dime. Beautiful. Love the name. There you go. Boy or girl. Dapping continues. The Brisbane Criminal Investigation Bureau, CIOB warned the public that the fugitive was violent and could use a firearm, even though he wasn't and he didn't have one. But he could use one if he had one and knew how to use it.

Yeah, that's like, it's just everything about it just seems like bullshit. If he had one and in the days he's been missing, has met with someone who is qualified to train others in using firearms and has done so. So, you know, be wary. And even though he's had no history at all of violence, even in his arrests or when he's being held in prison. Yep. He is very dangerous. We know, we know we can tell very violent this one we tell he's ready to go yeah yeah imagine someone who hasn't been violent all this time poor they must be about to be really violent yeah they've got violent it's pent up inside that's right they've been letting it out oh my goodness and we've treated him we've been bashing the shit out of him. So he knows what it looks like to be violent.

He's been bottling up a lot. We've been saying let it out mate, let out your violence. Yeah, and he won't, but he will soon. He's ready to explode. Yeah, we've been saying things, singing off key, me me me me me me me me me. Roadblocks were set up on the highway in and out of town and every vehicle was checked. The suspect was described as having a fair complexion, green eyes, mole on the left side of his face and a mop of fair brown hair.

Jess, do you have a mole on the left side of your face? No. Okay. He was also still wanted in Melbourne for possession of explosives. In Sydney, he was met by his young family and scored work as a sales manager, saving enough money to co-found a photographic studio in Newtown. Right. This is taking a real turn. So he's made it past the checkpoints.

Obviously. Yeah. He got out and he just had a night under a new name. Enjoyed the day. Had a night. Now would you post for the photo, please? I think he just means he had a night. Like he just chilled for the night.

That's what that means. Right? Yeah, probably. That's how I read it. Also like based on that, I do that every day. You had a night. I have a day and then I have a night. Yeah. Wow. That's how I read it. But also like based on that, I do that every day. You had a night? I have a day and then I have a night. Yeah.

Wow. But that's the thing to you. You're taking it for granted. He, a newly free man. He's enjoying having a night. Yeah. It's nice just to have a night. Whereas for me, it's like it's default.

Yeah. I'm so privileged. Man, I just realised I'm having a night tonight. What? Often on record days, I've got a gig after. Yeah. gig after and I was like, oh I can't be fucked. Yeah, and I'm always glad when I'm there, but that bit in between You might see me just pick up in pace a bit now now that I'm like, oh I can go to bed straight after this. Yeah, you're like, let's get out of here.

ASAP. And then, um, I don't know about that. And then basically, you get the gist. And then, and then. All right, patron section. And then these three people end taking goodbye. And then. And then. So, yeah, he started a photographic studio in Newtown.

But his life of crime also continued and he was soon charged with obtaining credit by fraud. In September of 1966, he was sentenced to spend nine months doing hard labor at Long Bay, meaning he would have missed seeing the Saints won and only the AFL, AFL Premiership. I thought he'd missed it. I had 56 and thought he's so engrossed in the story. September 66 as well. He's missed the whole finals campaign probably. Really? Yeah. Oh my gosh, that poor guy. And just to rub salt on the wounds, at the end of his sentence, he was sent to Melbourne. You know, like this is where you could have seen it.

Yeah, at least he could have like absorbed some of the feeling in the city. Yeah, because the city comes alive. Yeah. Oh my gosh, we love it. And when he was sent to Melbourne, he was held just up the road at Pentridge Prison on remand for earlier charges relating to safe cracking and burglary. That's where you go to get your haircut or a massage or see a movie. Yeah. Do you think about who was here?

Who sat in this chair? Well, I think, well, the list of previous episodes were held at Pentridge Grows because now we've got Carlson, but Ned Kelly was held there for a bit. Chopper Reed was the greatest. What was her name? Australia's greatest imposter or whatever. Oh, I have forgotten her name. I remember the story.

She was held there. She was there too. Wow. Yes. Should we buy Pentridge? I think we should. Yeah. I really think we should. Should we just buy it? Should we just buy it? Should we just buy it? Should we just buy it?

We can make an offer. Yeah. Like we can't make them or can we? You know what I mean? We've learned a bit about heavies. Yeah, we're little bodgies over here. Yeah, three bodgies. Three bodgies in a row.

You could be the bodgie smugglers. Is that anything? That's good stuff. We should do a live podcast. It's the history of Pentridge. Live from the cinema or something. I would love to do a live episode. It is a beautiful building and it is a very strange place to be.

A place you go and shop. It's like a shopping centre now. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's a lot of like all that nastiness at Boggo road, similar stuff was happening at Pentridge. Oh yeah. That was Melbourne's Boggo. Yeah. To put it into context, you might understand that sort of Pentridge was Melbourne's Boggo. Boggo.

They were at one point and they've got like, they do have like a little museum of the history there at Pentrestil and you know, they had this theory that you'd reform them by not letting them talk or see. So when they were let out only one hour a day, 23 hours locked up solitary everyone. And if they were out, they had hoods over their heads so they couldn't see or speak. Just So what's the point of being out? Just a bit of fresh air. Yeah, I guess a walk around.

I think, I mean, that's how I understood it anyway. I'll figure it out better before I do the report. Yeah. This one? Yeah. Of his victims, Carlson told Bull, we didn't rob the poor. We only robbed the scum that were robbing us, the banks and the other vermin. Oh yeah, those vermin.

Those absolute dogs. Hmm. Some of it did sound like some of them was just small business owners. But anyway. Yeah, but they were scum, those ones. We only targeted the scum. At Pentridge, he met an American prisoner telling Dap... Telling...

I've written it as Dalpin. Telling Dapin, I met a yank who was up for forgeries and I befriended him. We used to pace up and down the remand yard together and I'd protect him. He ended up in the office. They often put crims who could type in the office and all my records of escape he put aside somehow. So all the... Which was a big favour to Carlson.

Really? Because. So he altered his record. Yeah, if you are known as a serial escapist, you're put in much worse conditions in prison. Two hoods. Double hood, yeah, double bag. Oh my god. So yeah, this was very fortunate for Carlson because if they knew he was a serial bail

jumper and escape artist, he would have ended up in a very tough prison division as Dappen writes. Carlson would have expected to be transferred to H division at Pentridge where the discipline was barbaric and men with a history of escaping were shown a place they really needed to get away from. But instead he was sent to McLeod Prison Farm, a penal complex on scrubby, insect-infested French Island, some 60 kilometres south-east of Melbourne. The thinly populated island was a natural prison, the sea making for a more effective barrier than any wall. Over the years, luckless prisoners had tried to

escape by swimming the waters of Western Port Bay to the far shore. Carlson told Bull. The governor called me in. This is when he arrived at the beach side penal colony farm. He showed me all these photos of prisoners who tried to escape eaten by sharks or drowned. You can't get away from here, he said. Oh, well, I don't want to get away from here, I said. It looks like a wonderful wonderful paradise But as soon as I got there, there's me mate Pete working the vegetable garden two days later me and Pete we took off Thanks so much for having is gorgeous Hey, baby, let's go That Daven continues Carlson and his mate absconded late in the afternoon on the 12th of October, 1967. They trekked through mangrove swamps, mudflats and marshland and camped out at night amid

bushes by the beach at a night. Do you think they're hoping to not miss the grand final again? Yeah, I think that's probably part of it. They're like, why don't they go back to back? Sadly, still waiting to go back to anything. Patrols were sent out after them. They had this two winged aeroplane flying along the beach every morning, looking for footprints. We'd make sure.

Thank God they didn't use a three winged aeroplane. That really got him for some reason. Is it such a funny thing? A two winged aeroplane. Him being specific. Yeah, thank God they funny thing. A two winged aeroplane. Him being specific. Yeah, think of it as the one winged aeroplane. Just went round in circles. Just went...

I see. You're thinking... You're not thinking of the two on each side. Yeah, I think there's two on one side and one on the other. Just give me Deja Vu to the Wright Brothers episode or something. I think we were. Think we got stuck on that.

I think it was similarly stupid. Yeah, yeah. A bike plan and a truck. So so, yeah, they were pretty smart about it. They they knew that that people were looking for footprints from above. So they'd walk while the tide was out at night, because in the morning the tide would come in before the plane came over and wash away their footprints. On the beach, the fugitives found fugitives found drums,

which had once been used as boys. We just laid down a couple of sick four four beats. That killed a couple of hours in the bush. Dave, I mean this is the first that the listeners will have heard it, but today we've been hanging out for like five hours. Yeah, I've been warming up for that. That's your third beatbox break. Yeah, it's true.

I can't look at him right now. I'm going to warm me up to it. I'm actually so mad at him. Oh, come on. You literally asked before we started recording, you asked Jess, do you think I could be a beatboxer? And Jess said please don't or something like that. No, I'm sure I, in my mind, I'm a lot kinder than when you directly quote me.

So it's interesting to see, you know, how I'm perceived. I think I was probably saying like, oh, not right now. Maybe, yeah. Maybe practice at home. So how was it? You didn't say anything when I started crying. I think you should have. I think what you were saying was leave something for the others. You know, you already do so much so well. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what I was saying.

What do you get a man who can just got everything. Yeah. Beatbox. Come on. Ra'sel needs this. And that Australian guy from. Oh, Joel Turner. And Joel Turner, he needs it. He needs it. You don't need it. So they're still just on French Island. Sorry. And they found a drum.

Obviously not a drum kit. I was having a bit of fun there. You know where French Island is though, right? No, I need to look it up. Yeah, because it rang a bell. So it's sort of in this little gap in Western Port Bay. So you've got, like, Balnarang and Dromana, like the Mornington Peninsula on this side.

And then this is Phillip Island around here. Oh, yes, I do know, yes. So almost any direction you go, you'd you'd be hitting mainland. It's not it's only accessible, I think, by ferry. But I mean, I don't I'm not going to say they could swim for it, but like there it's it's surrounded by other land. It sort of feels like a funny place to imprison people. It is, but it's not like a short swim.

It's no God. No, no, no. And they're like, I guess that's why they people didn't try it a lot. And that's why they were like, check these photos. People die trying to escape. Don't be silly. Don't try and spin. Why would I be silly? I love it here.

Laters. Back to Dappen. So yeah, they found these drums that have been used as boys or buoys and other bits and pieces. They could have made up a makeshift- makeshift raft. But instead they were like, I just want to rock out. Yeah.

Turn that one to a snare drum. This is a tom. Let's rock. Let's do it. His mates like, but shouldn't one of us play a different instrument? He's like, no, we're going to be the first all drum band. Yeah. That's what- there's a gap in the market.

Yeah. And his mates are like, there's- they're already drumming bands that are all the time. All drum all the time. We're a gap in the market. Yeah. And, and it's like, there's, there are already drumming bands that are all drums all the time. We're going to be the first. We're going to be great at it. Um, on French Island, maybe then how about that? He's like looking for it. What about then? What if it's a first drum band or drum band in French Island? Um, so yeah, they, they try to make up a makeshift raft. Uhson said, we lashed them together and away we went. We got a couple of hundred yards and it imploded. Luckily, it got back because I can't even swim.

Oh, my gosh. He was stuffed if they couldn't just hold it together enough to get back onto land again, as in back to French Isle and they did not roll the way across. Carlson knew that the pilot of the plane would spot their wrecked raft and track their footprints leading to them from the debris. And then he said, so he's like, we're stuffed. But then we heard this boat putt-putt-putting. It seemed like it was going in circles, he said. The boat stopped a short distance from the coast.

So it's a one-winged boat. One ruddered. One old boat. Someone about an indigo Mandoire and the six-winged man. The one-winged boat. Prepare to die. At low tide. Yeah, so they find this boat and it just seems to be sat there, you know, rocking in the waves at low tide the next morning. So they were able to get out to it by walking across the flats, assuming that the boat had just run out of fuel. Carlson says, I've gone out and leapt on and there's this bloke asleep, a fisherman, a Scotsman. He said, what do you lads want?

That's no good. Can you do it? What do you lads want? No, no, you actually do that perfectly. I feel like- I think it's just about confidence, because- What do you lads want? Yeah, absolutely no notes. That's good, because we do have quite a few Scottish listeners and I think they're going to have enjoyed that. They love being represented on this book.

That's right. Yeah. So accurately and so respectfully. Well, because it's in my blood. That's right. Stuart, if you don't know, is a Scottish name. Yeah. Yeah.

So it would be inappropriate for me to try. I also know that Perkins is an English name. I also know that Scottish people hate being called Scotch because it's not right. I see. So they'll enjoy this next line. But yeah, so Carlson replies, we just want to go to the mainland. Can you take us over? And this is what Carlson told Bull.

He took us across to the mainland. What a good man. What a good man. A Scotch man. He was a Scotch man. It's repeating it there. the mainland. What a good man. What a good man. A Scotch man. He was a Scotch man. It's repeating it there. A Scotch man. The reason I'm calling him a Scotch man, he was a Scotch man.

He loved Scotch, I think, is what I'm hearing. Yeah, yeah, that's probably all it was. There's such a beautiful thing. This is what he said. There's such a beautiful thing when you can escape from tyranny. God, I felt so good. His time on the outside didn't last too long, though. He stole a series of cars that took him from the Mornington Peninsula to Queenbyen and then to Sydney. In Sydney, he continued his life of crime. Then, according to Bull, Jack and his mate got caught cruising paramatter late at night with safe cracking tools, or

safe breaking tools. On the 10th of January, Carlson and the other man, Peter Mound, who in Dappen's book, sounds like he might have been a neo-Nazi, anyway, appeared at that court. He was, and he like, he described he was in part, like he was, you know, like 22 and in this like saddest little breakaway Nazi group that had like 30 nationwide members. And he made it sound like it was, I mean, cause it was pretty sad stuff. Yeah. It was pathetic as it gets. Yeah.

Like it was like, it was, you know, even when it's good, it's bad, but this was a bad version of it. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Doesn't get much better than that. You can't even like, you know, looking for a silver lining, you can't even be like, well, they're very organized.

And apparently the leader of that chapter was real short. He's like, well, you know, what's wrong with that? He was real defensive about it. Very defensive. Yeah. He's like, Hitler wasn't that tall either. That's not the time. Yeah. That's not the example you want to use. Why do you? Well, they probably do, but I certainly don't. If I was on a date with someone and hadn't said anything about their height and they

were going, well, you know, Hitler wasn't very tall. I'd be like, I have diarrhea and I must depart. Yeah. Well, Hitler once had diarrhea. Have you read his book? That's fascinating. I would, I'll look into that. Mine shot.

Mine shot. Mine shot. That is mine shot. Oh gosh. Anyway, yeah, so that guy was a cunt, but. And then why that I enjoyed that. So but this is this leads to his next escape. As Daphan tells it.

Heading to to court, Carlson delayed his entry a bit behind another prisoner. He took off his tide, unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and hung his coat over his arm. And he'd lined the coat with some cash apparently. So he gets he was ready to go on the run. And he looked relaxed and casual as if he was at home in the court, as if in fact, he was a detective. He told the other prisoners in the cell, I'm going to go in and when you see me walk back through, yell at you copper dog, you loaded me up. He was going to fake being a detective. Oh my god, you copper dog. When police constable Kenneth Maker called for the next defendant, Carlson stepped in and asked, which court is Carlson meant to appear?

And the constable said, court four. And Carlson then introduced himself as Detective Rogers from CIB. He then pretended one of the other prisoners was his prisoner and said, I've got to get him. I've got to take him out. While the cellmates cried, Detective scum. The copper said, where's the warrant? And Carlson said he became impatient with maker's imprudence, the constable. I said, the warrants have gone round.

Now come on. And the hapless constable opened the door. Of course he would. We know all know how full on he can be when he starts yelling this guy. Yeah. And then they left. He just walked out. Walked out.

Yeah. The guy was a Nazi, but he got out as well. Um, obviously, cause he's leading. This is my prisoner. I've got to take him over there. And then they just like that. Um, that is pretty bad. Yeah.

Bull. Yeah. That apparently in interviews later in life, that was the one, like when he sort of resurfaced and his story started being told, that was the one he was most proud of. Because the whole reason Dappen's written this book about him was he was writing a book about prison escapes, and Carlson got onto him and said, I got to tell you my stories, I got some great stories about prison escapes. Nice.

And Dappen hadn't seen the video at the time. Oh, wow. And then someone else said to him, another criminal who spent time in jail with Carlson said, this guy's the most interesting criminal you'll ever talk to. You got to check him out. Then he watched the video and he's like, oh, real fascinating. And then one step led to another and now it's like murderers and stuff. He's like, I was not expecting it to go here.

Yeah, Interesting. Which means the book is a little, you know, feels a little uneven or something. He followed the story where the story went. Hmm. Journalist. That's what I do. Bull says Jack put on a real performance, a bit like the one outside the restaurant. He pretended to be a cop. Dappen continues, at the morning tea adjornment of the courts, I went around to check the two accused, said the arresting officer,

and they were not there. Carlson stole a Morris Minor from Manly and drove it south to Heathcote, where they burgled a house. The car later ran out of petrol, so they abandoned it and walked until they stole a Holden. By the weekend, police had reported that the fugitives were believed to have armed themselves with a number of stolen guns from underworld

friends, which wasn't true. Carlson and Mound were described as desperate men who would stop at nothing to ensure their freedom. This was a lightly coded message that the escapees would probably be shot if they resisted arrest. Wow. The initial plan was to hide in the bushland of the Royal National Park, south of Sydney, but they found the weather to be uncomfortably cold and wet. And after a day or two, Mound decided to break from the plan

and head to a friend's place in suburban Sydney to hide out. Unfortunately for Carlson, Mound's friend was a low-level criminal and heroin addict himself. And the very next day he was arrested and then to make a deal with the cops, he sold out. Oh, you dog. So it's back in custody again.

All of this is only 25. Wow. Caught in a DAP and he was he was badly beaten at the police station. They said, go and clean up. Watch that blood off your face in the bathroom. I Turned around this Carlson. I turned around and one of the detectives was pointing a gun at me and he fired it I thought Jesus Christ. He actually fired it, but it had a blank in it and the cops all laughed Carlson was often battered by police. You have to expect it

He said especially when you tell them to go and get fucked you dirty low dogs I always yelled that sort of stuff at them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yep. At the insuring trial, Carlson again represented himself. The police presented a transcript of a supposed confession by Carlson, which he had not signed.

According to Dappen, cops at the time would habitually fabricate such confessions that for some reason or another, the time would habitually fabricate such confessions that for some reason or another, the accused would refuse to sign. This was their way around the criminal world's code of silence. This was just real, apparently it was just very common. They'd go, they're not gonna, they're not talking. We'll write up a confession and then we'll have some, they go, oh yeah, he said he wouldn't sign it in the end for some reason.

Fuck. And then they could use that? Yeah. We've written it down, whatever we want. Yeah. He's wouldn't sign it in the end for some reason. Fuck. And then they could use that? Yeah. We've written it down, whatever we want. Yeah. He's refused to sign it. So now we're going to take it as evidence. Because this is all on record and Dapin was able to go through it and he's, you know,

reading Judge's transcript, who's just basically accepting it and telling the jury, who are you going to believe? These criminal scum or? These beautiful boys. Yeah, my beautiful cop is here. Look at how beautiful blue they are. boys. Yeah. My beautiful blue. Look how beautiful blue they are. Oh my God, they're blue. I love their beautiful blue boys.

During the trial, the prosecutor asked if he'd ever use false names and Carlson admitted to a few including Jack Edward Menchow, his real name assessor George Edwards, Helmut Marksen, Peter Allen Marsh and George A. Reiss. Carlson implored the judge to employ common sense and reason. The police claim I have a bad record, he said. I'm experienced with police interrogation, that I've given false names and that I'm a liar. And they also come up and say that I willingly told the police and confessed as to all these things that I did not do. Why would I confess? Having had all this experience with the police,

they cannot have it both ways, can they? Carlson offered to prove to the judge in 10 minutes that it was usual for CIB records of interview to be fabricated. Unfortunately for Carlson, the judge was having none of it saying, I'm not interested. I accept the police evidence. It is a sheer waste of time and I will not allow you

to do it." It is interesting, he's like, what's the point of them signing it if the signature, like the records typed up and they just say he wrote it. This is what he said. Why didn't he sign it? Oh, yeah, I don't know. Why didn't he sign it? You know what they're like. You know what they're like. These crooks. Yeah. Dap and continued throughout the trial. He raised logistical questions to discredit the idea that their interviews could have been conducted, transcribed and read in the time claimed by the police. Carlson demanded to hear Boyd to spell the word written. He also tried to have him take a typing test, but the judges aren't not allowing any of

these things. And another real seemingly obviously dodgy thing happens. Carlson asked to call another prisoner as a witness, but somehow that witness was injured on his way to court and was unable to appear, supposedly having injured himself. Yes. Which the judge bought this story, but clearly it was just the cops. He ran into my knife. Yeah. I can't believe it. He did it three times.

I just quoted a musical at you. Really. Yeah. I can't believe it. Did it three times. I just quoted a musical at you. Really? Yeah. What musical? That's how it feels. Chicago. West Side Charger.

West Side Charger. That's not- What? West Side Story. Yeah. What's more, why did I say West Side Charger? That was weird. I don't know.

Oh no. That's really strange. Yeah. But you were indeed quoting Chicago. Yes. You now Googling West side charger just to try and justify your own little blip. Hmm. Hmm. OK. Yeah, it's not.

It's not a thing. Not a thing. Nah. Yeah, it was weird. It was weird. Yeah. Very. Got talent. Yeah. Thanks for letting me know. But I was aware. Yeah. That was weird.

That was a bit strange. But yeah, apparently the cop was there. Yeah. When it happened and they were sort of entangled, but he had nothing to do with it when the witness fell back and smashed his head. Fully grown adults are prone to just out of nowhere, just whoop. So that, yeah, that that's unfortunate because that would have been really good for Carlson.

Yes. Dabbing quotes his final address to the judge saying, I do not consider myself a criminal in the normal sense of the word. I was a criminal in the past and I possessed all the weird quirks of character that go to make up such a person. During this unfortunate phase of my life, I never committed any act which I considered evil, nor am I a wild or vicious person.

Carlson insisted that his criminal phase had ended with the birth of Barbara, Dave's auntie, which he said had brought about my complete awakening and my determination to stay out of trouble in the future. And he still says, like he says, he never committed another crime, um, beyond the age of his early twenties. Carlson, others say he continued to commit crimes, but Carlson, who do you believe? Carlson was found guilty of all charges and was sentenced to eight years.

Wow. Back in prison, now at Parramatta Jail, Carlson became friends with another inmate. I'm interested to know if you know this guy, Dave, Jim McNeil. Jim McNeil. So at this stage, he was in jail for a jail for armed robbery, but he went on to be an award winning playwright and seen as like a quite an important Australian writer. Oh, I do know the story of someone who whilst convicted wrote and then some well-known writers on the outside took interest in his work. That's right.

And this is, they were, that's Carlson's, they were best mates and cellmates. Wow. Really? And then possibly? I'll tell you a bit about him now. Oh, you're going to tell her? Yeah. So, um. Did he marry someone famous? He did, yes.

And was very violent to her and it ended pretty quickly. But well, so much goodness in this story. Oh, really? Did he marry Robin Nevin? Yeah, Robin Nevin, that's right. Oh, yeah, great. Who's like been the director of the MTC and is a great Australian actress or actor. And I've got to say that I was in a scene with the librarians with.

Amazing. So let me say that. Okay. She never apparently never talks about the short lived marriage with McNevin. Yeah. Oh, McNeil. But anyway. Wow. McNev and McNeil. But anyway, yeah, like Carlson, McNeil had a brutal childhood filled with abuse and crime,

sexual and physical abuse. According to Dappen in 1957, then 22, McNeil married Valerie Fields and the couple went on to have six children. According to McNeil, he was in prison every time a son or daughter was born. So he was he was in and out and in and out. He served sentences in Bendigo Jail, Pentridge and on French Island. Here, another guy who was held at Pentridge, he spent time at prison with Ronald Ryan, the last man, hanged in Australia. On Christmas Day, 1966, the Saints, just a couple months after the Saints won that Premiership.

A couple of months after. Oh, yeah. He and Valerie met another couple in the George Hotel in St. Kilda to plan the robbery of the Olympic Hotel in Preston. And this would be the robbery or this series of events would lead to be for him to be back in Jalot Parramatta and for Carlson to meet him, which led to these plays being read. But anyway, so on the 14th of January, 1967, McNeil and his mate Michael Jordan raided the pub.

McNeil was arrested but jumped bail and fled with his family, first to Queensland, then to New South Wales. At the Royal Hotel in Springwood in the Blue Mountains, he and accomplice took $130 at gunpoint from the public end. Then McNeil stole a car and robbed a service station in Richmond. He was bailed up by a police constable who drew his service pistol. McNeil took a.22 rifle from under his coat and shot the officer in the left leg. When the man begged for his life, McNeil offered him an unsporting chance. He allowed the officer to run with a bullet in one leg while McNeil shot at him.

He caught him again in the right buttock, but the constable escaped to testify at McNeil's trial. Wow. McNeil later said that it was this was just his sense of humor. Shot a cop in the butt. So I go, how accurate are you shooting though? Like, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what you aiming exactly to the butt. He's running away.

I don't know. I only meant to get the but and I got the but. Hmm. I was a crack shot. So, yeah, it was serving the insuring sentence that Carlson met him. Dappen writes in Parramatta Jail, however, McNeil wasn't a gangster type bloke, according to Carlson, even though he knew the gangsters and got on with them. He was too intelligent for that, Carlson said.

On the other hand, said Carlson, he did shoot a copper in the ass. Yeah, you got the. Yeah. We all contain multitudes. Yeah. That's right. Two wolves. Yeah. Only one of those wolves would shoot a copper in the ass. Yeah. Carlson told Bull about the origin of his friendship with McNeil saying, When I got the eight years, I went down to the wing and there was McNeil. He said, Hey, wait, I've heard about you.

He heard about my escape, pretending to be a detective and all that sort of stuff. And he said, Come on, you can stay in my cell with me. And we've been best mates ever since. I did. Is that how it works? You can choose your cellmates. Yeah, I assume. Yeah. Yeah, I think like there's like an orientation where you get to like, you do like a speed dating type thing.

Oh, a bit of a like you buddy up a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Having a trial period. And then you go like, yeah, OK. I could share. And you put in your preferences. Right. Yeah. I couldn't share a bucket with this guy, but this guy, I'd love to share. I'd love to watch this guy shit.

Yeah, I'd love that. They in jail, Carlson had the nickname The Hun, the beastly hun. It's the big boy. Which is interesting, what's the hun? Attila the Hun, who was he? What are the huns? They're just like a... What are the other?

Attila is a hun, what is a hun? They're like a... What are the huns? Attila, what's he? What's a hun? Because I think my brain like took the shortest route to an answer. I always just kind of assumed Hungarian, but that's not right, I'm sure. No, they're like, they're like, they live out on the steppe. Ah, yeah.

Like, you know, like... Out front. Yeah, there's the Mongolian people. Yes, the Huns are about, they're about there. The Huns and the Mongolians. It's a very wide plain, but yeah. Attila and that other, that guy that we talked about that time. Yeah, that guy that we talked about that time.

The big Mongolian guy. Yep. Someone, someone, someone, someone. What did you, can none of us remember this guy's name? No. The Mongolian guy. Yeah. Yeah. Dave, you did the report. Yeah, I remember. I was part of Block. Genghis.

There we go. Genghis, thanks. We wanted to see how long we had. Thanks, friends. Yeah, you wanted to see. Listeners know your game. You're not saying anything, Dave. That's what happened.

I'll give you the answer, you serve. Bull writes, so this is about McNeil and the Hun, as in McNeil and Carlson. Bull writes, the this is about McNeil and the Hun, as in McNeil and Carlson. Bull writes, the two men bonded over making foul tasting alcohol in the cell's wash basin and also their shared histories. They had both grown up poor, even by the standards of their rough and tumble neighborhoods. Adults had abused them physically and sexually, and they'd both stolen and scammed a few shillings for their families when they saw the chance. Carlson was known as a bit of a prison brewmaster, secretly making homebrew in his cell, telling Bull, Jim and I, we used to make a brew.

We'd get some raisins and stuff from the cookhouse and some yeast from the bakehouse and make a quick two-day brew. There's a record- Two-day brew, that can't be good. No, bad. Well, he says he was pretty rankin'. He's like, sometimes it didn't really work and he just have chronic cramps after drinking it. But anyway, there's a recording of Jim McNeil talking about it in an interview where he says, every night when he went to

bed he'd put the yeast and sugar in and the jam and the plug in the sink. Hope he did the plug first. And then he just turned the tap on and put the water in and go to sleep. And in the morning, this terrific brew would have fermented and we'd both put our head in it like two horses in a trough. Lovely. That's beautiful. And the doors had opened before breakfast right in the early morning, all out in the yard and we'd both be blind as bats.

That was the marvelousvellous Hun. And they used to keep falling on the Hun, raiding him. And if they did, he'd pull out the plug and all the evidence had run down the drain. The perfect crime. It seems like this whole setup was at least in part the inspiration for McNeil's classic Australian play, The Old Familiar Juice. Now, depending on who you ask, Carlson was very involved in the writing of this, or at the very least he was there in the two. Really? He claims like when you say-

He doesn't claim it. Oh, he does? He's not the- Others claim it, but he did end up playing the main role in the initial versions of the play. He does seem like an actor in the video we all know and love. Bull Rides, they put it on in prison and Carlson played a leading role. In jail, McNeil and Carlson were key members of the Resurgence Debating Society, a small group of prisoners who, as well as holding debates with uni students, would meet, write and paint.

There's someone I don't really talk about, but he did a lot of painting in prison. Like prison guards would make deals with him, ask him to paint a presence for their partners in return for leniency or different benefits around the jail. Carlson told Bull, university debating teams would come out and we'd flog them. I'd say to the organiser, put a topic up there. Adolf Hitler's not a bad bloke, that sort of thing. And these make the near nuts. He's coming to be like, I've got a few things to say about this.

He wasn't actually that short. And he's telling the story he's like, and you'd have these university students arguing and saying, well, he killed like six million people, and he'd done this and that. And then I'd go up there and say, well, wait that's all bull-assed why did you want to do that and Carlson replied just to stare him up just to stare him up bit weird but yeah he's bored it sounds like he's argument was a wait a minute

yep just wait a minute you better believe it. I rest my case. The uni students were so shit scared that they were in the prison. The prisoners are like, are you in? Apparently they did win a lot. David Ma, you know, the journalist was one of the uni students who debated them sometimes. Yeah, in Dappen's book, you don't see it written anywhere else, but in Dappen's book, there's a few of these weird Hitler references. Like when Dappen asked him about his parents, he didn't want to talk about it. He said, I'll tell you their names, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun.

Which I think he was saying that word not very nice to him. Yeah. His dad was Adolf Hitler. How did he get to Australia? Dave's very literal. So yeah, like Dave suggested before, McNeil became a hit amongst the Australian art scene. This for the age in 2012, Raymond Gill wrote, it was McNeil's status as an uneducated violent criminal with a talent for vividly capturing male behaviour, the Aussie vernacular

and dramatic structure in his first prison play, The Chocolate Frog, which I think was rhyming slag for dirty dog or something like prison guards, written in Parramatta jail in 1970 that led to his discovery by a young theatre set who championed his early release from prison. They included the directors Malcolm Robertson and Carillo Gantzner, who apparently he was one of the driving forces or the main driving force for the setup of the Malthouse Theatre in Melbourne. Actor Graham Blundell and playwright David Williamson, who described McNeil as a one in a million born writer. David Williamson is like one of Australia's most famous.

Still going. In a letter of support for his early parole, Williamson wrote, quote, Not only is he a playwright of extraordinary talent, he is a man who has a first class mind, which is obviously focused and matured during his years of incarceration to make him a considerable human being. Interestingly, the article briefly mentions Carlson not by name, but as a henchman known as the Hun. Which is funny because this is 2012. So he's been mentioned like in these tiny little snippets, but no one's connecting the two things.

That's the famous guy from the meme. Yeah, exactly. I wonder if that like, is that just a coincidence that his nickname was the Han and people also thought he was Hungarian chess master? Is that just me connecting dots and all that? It's probably just a small coincidence that could be explained as a coincidence. The support of the arts community helped get him out of on parole 10 years early in October of 1974. When he was released, his plays were already being put on

in every state in Australia. Like he'd become a big hit. He was awarded a literary grant by the Australian Council for the Arts. And in 1975, he won the Australian Writers Guild, the Orgy Award for the most outstanding script for his play, How Does Your Garden Grow? Which I think was a bit of an autobiographical

one. Bull writes, McNeil's plays weren't subtle. They were screeds aimed at a society that arrested and tormented unfortunate men for petty crimes. The message is, look what you're doing to people, he told one interviewer. On radio and in the press, he would give didactic rants about the brutality of the justice system. But life on the outside was difficult for McNeil and even more so for those close to him. He didn't handle the outside world well and now having access to proper booze, he didn't have to have it made in a sink. He was constantly drunk, violent, and this included with his family and friends, like including those artists who, they've all got anecdotes of him like, one of the women who ended up publishing his plays, she let him stay at their

family home and apparently one night she found him in the kitchen threatening people with a decanter and she's like, well, apparently she was just very nonchalant about it, though. She's like, all right, whatever you do, can you just not use that 200 year old decanter? Please take this sword. Yeah. Put the decanter down. Yeah. The decanter, that that's important to me. Take my boy, though.

Take the boy. Means nothing. So it was it was basically it was very quickly an outcast because he just burnt all his bridges by treating everyone horribly. Right, but that stood up for him being like someone who's so, he must be refined. He's not a beast. And he's an artist. Let him out. Let him free.

Yeah, he never, because he never wrote another play, I don't think. Um, yeah. And he died at 47 of alcohol related illness in 1982 living in a house for homeless men in Melbourne. So it was like, basically you died destitute, you know, relatively young, 47. Yeah. He's just basically just a boy. Yeah. Whole life ahead of you.

Yeah. Um, anyway, let's go. So yeah, just, I hadn't, I hadn't heard of him or those plays, but I just Yeah. Whole life ahead of you. Yeah. Anyway, let's go. So yeah, just so I hadn't, I hadn't heard of him all those plays, but I just saw what a, it's kind of fascinating story. And that our man was there next to him. Yeah. Well, like right in sharing a cell with him.

Sharing the cell, sharing the trough. And then, you know, being the first actor, like in these famous plays, which is so interesting that why don't we all know that? I don't know. But yeah, so much of this story is tragic, like just top to bottom really. Back to Carlson, after his stint at Parramatta, he was sent back to Pentridge to do the time he owed for the Melbourne crimes. And there he met another inmate named Ray Mooney. Dappen spoke to Mooney who, and this is one of the guys who suggests he was even more involved, Mooney believed that Carlson had actually co-authored The Old Familiar Juice. He definitely did, he insisted, because Jack told me. This was before Jimmy became famous and it was all a big deal. If you read The Old Familiar Juice, it's Jack through and through.

And I think he actually helped him in a few other things too. Jack had a genuine big hand in McNeil's writing. But all that Carlson would say to Daphn when he was asked about it was that he shared a cell with McNeil while McNeil wrote the play. He didn't take any credit for it. But it seems like he did tell this story. Dapin talks about how when he was a boy and still living with his parents, they visited a family, friends farm, and his cousin was a few years old and Carlson's quite young.

And Carlson's cousin set up the shed so that a piece of iron would fall from the door and he goes Carlson. Oh man. Go in there and he got knocked out and this big chunk of metal fell on him, woke up in hospital and the doctors asked what happened and he told the story and his dad got angry at him for ratting out his cousin and he's like, so I never ratted out anyone again. Fire out. Wow, but that's obviously, so I never ratted out anyone again. Fire out. Wow, but that's obviously, that's a classic prank.

Yeah. Set up a big chunk of metal on the door. Oh, it's a fantastic bit. Hey, hey, hey, there's a president in there for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got him. Watch this, watch this. This could give him serious damage.

So like that, that just makes you think, I'm like, is that even to the point where you're like, I'm not gonna take any credit even though I, I don't know. In 1975, after spending most of his life in boys homes, in jails or on the run at the age of 33, he was released from prison after doing his time. One of the few times he actually, you know, did his full chunk and was out. Thinking back to that moment, he told Bull, that was beautiful to have that freedom again, to get parole.

You have to have a job. And they got me a job on the TV doing things like pretending to be a police informer and all the things like that, that I'm not. Division 4. Yeah. Division 4, cop shop, Matlock police, homicide. These are things that were on the TV every week. So we had bit parts in all these TV shows.

You've got to get him a job. What can you be? Actor. I mean, he had been acting in these plays in prison for a few years. So you've got a good look. Get in there. Yeah. I reckon you could play criminal.

Yeah. You're a big man. Yeah. So yeah, Jim McNeil helped him get these acting gigs, mainly bit parts in TV crime dramas. And yeah, I couldn't find any video clips, but Bull found clips and plays them on Earshot. You can hear a few clips of him acting in that episode of Earshot, which is pretty cool. Bull writes, on the outside, McNeil and Carlson remain close. The lovely bloke, I love him, McNeil told an interview around the same time. Carlson named his son Jim McNeil Carl an interview around the same time. Carlson named

his son Jim McNeil Carlson and Carlson described them as best friends. What did he name his son? Jim McNeil Carlson. Okay. Just gave him the first and second spots there. Yeah. Probably better than McNeil Jim. What about Neil McJim? Oh, yeah, there it is. Carl, Carl Neil Jim Mc... Son. Yep. Yeah, I think we got to actually an end there. You are very good. Thank you so much. Good enough for a boy or girl.

Beautiful name, in fact. Beautiful. Carlson lost at least one of his acting jobs after being fired for drinking real booze in a pub scene and ending up quite drunk and making sure that all the other actors that were told not to and he's like, don't be ridiculous. You don't, don't you dare pour out that alcohol. It's quietly topping him up. Yeah. So he's like, so we were having a play a bit slanted in this pub scene, but we were really,

we were. Yeah. And sadly, that's a bit of a through line in his life. He was an alcoholic and it really just led to problems. You can, it's like self-medicating is what I assume it is in part. And yeah, it just meant that he was, he basically never, he could never get things together.

Even when he found his fame, it was, you can see in the videos as he comes out, like his teeth go, like he's got less teeth with every appearance sort of thing. And it's all a bit sad. Um, but I won't, yeah, I should probably get bogged down. This is a comedy podcast after all. Um, but yeah, if you want to, you can't hear more about all sorts of grim stuff. Dabham's book and I love his writing and I think it's good stuff.

We're here to talk about the penis. Yes, and I will I will take us back to the video. I mean, as as tragic as a lot of his life was, everyone who were close to him loved him and just think they said they never saw him angry. He was always happy. You know, people loved him. So, you know, I'm maybe taking a bit of a negative spin on him because he went through so much.

Yeah. Yeah, it sounds full on, but he's only his mid thirties. Yeah, exactly. He's lived an incredibly tough life, but interesting as well. Totally. So yeah, let's go back and sort of finish it where we began with the China Sea restaurant arrest. That's what we're all here for.

Yes, we love that. We're here for democracy. And I love it when he like people, he do it for people. Basically, they're like do the line and there's videos of him, you know, his last few years of life doing it a bit. And he rolled the ass so good. Democracy. good democracy. So Dean Byron, who was one of the plainclothes cops who was in the video at the time, he was a member of the Queensland Ford squad and he got the reputation around

his office that he was the one accused of touching Carlson on the penis, which led to him later writing a piece for the monthly, strenuously denying the allegation. He told Dappen that at the time of the arrest, his boss started calling him Handcrank Harry, saying it was his little joke. And that sort of caught on. He would always say, hey, you going Handcrank? Oh my gosh.

Byron's fraud squad partner, Adam Furman, found the nickname unfair, telling Dappin, I'm the one he says it to. If you look at the footage, he's looking at me. I'm hand cranked. I should be hand cranked. Why aren't I getting called hand cranked? He's taking my credit. I think he was saying-

I was the one who touched him. I sexually harassed that man. Yeah, that's right. Where's my article? I was the one being accused of, also I didn't do it. I also ran into a sling on him. I should be the one denying him. I deserve that nickname. I'm't do it. I'll strangely say I'm the one denying it. I deserve that nickname.

I'm hand crank. That's funny. Did you read it? Him saying it was unfair. You read it as Heath saying unfair to him. I read it as him saying it was unfair to his mate. I read it as unfair to him. I want that nickname.

You call it him hand crank? He wasn't. He went and ate his penis. He couldn't have touched it if he wanted to. Who wasn't? I was like, Rach. But I was right there. If I wanted to. He wasn't in Albslake's reach! But I was right there if I wanted to!

If I wanted to, which I did admire, but if I wanted to I could have got my hand all over that penis! But I should be the one being accused of it, so I can be the one! Especially Denier! Get my article out there! Sign it hand-cranking! Because I've so much people who have been calling me! Me! This is the bloke who got me on the pens before.

That's me. You pointed to the wrong man. The next chunk I'm going to read is from Carnage and it paints a different picture of the arrest. This is from the perspective of a hand cranking his mate, Herman. The hand cranking the real hand cranking his mate, Herman. The hand cranking brothers. The real hand cranking. Yeah, hand cranking the real hand cranking. Because I mean, especially they tell the story very differently as to the official story that you'll see mostly is that they called the media, but they're like, that is not what

happened. So this is from Carnage. Byron told me, obviously from the point of view of Dappen, Byron told me that most things that I thought I knew about the democracy manifest video were untrue. On the day that Byron was called out to the China Sea, he had been in the Queensland police for five years and the fraud squad for almost two years.

He was dispatched with Furman, who remembered that an American Express investigator had followed Carlson into the restaurant in the belief that he was using a stolen card. I think that was the potential impetus for it getting to the media, said Byron, because it clearly wasn't from us. I mentioned that Chris Reason, the Walkley Award winning journalist at 7 News, thought that the fraud squad had contacted the TV station.

Nah, said Byron, no chance in a million years. That's utter utter boulder dash, said Byron. It's rubbish. It's just so untrue. It's not funny. It's hard to even describe how crazy that idea is. He doth protest too much. Yeah. We were at the office.

Somebody rang and said, look, there's a problem down at the valley. We need someone down there from the Fraud Squad. Me and my partner were the two youngest guys there, so that's probably why we were told to go down and deal with this. Because no one ever wants to go to a job in the fraud squad. You don't see that sort of action. You're always just sitting there chasing up checks and evidence. You don't go to some big thing that's happening like you might in the armed robbery squad

or something. So we got the information. It's so boring. Fraud sucks. All I'm doing is looking at checks. Which is it like that does like, does feel like that doesn't support his point. This wasn't one of those boring things. So maybe this is exactly why you would call the media.

You get excited. Oh my God. I'm about to actually do something exciting. A big criminal. Call the media. Mum. Mum, mum, mum. Watch the telly tonight.

Handcrakes getting on TV. Mum, call the mom. Mom, what's the telly tonight? Handcrakes getting on TV. Mom, call the media. Yeah, that's what it turned out. So we got the information, jumped in the car and went down there. The idea that we were planning something is just so crazy. Oh, you really do. Like a dog with a bone. I do Doth protest a little too much. I should say Daphn is interviewing him at a bar. He'd bought him a beer. So he's saying all this over a beer as well. Okay.

Yeah. Bit of the old liquid truth syrup. Syrup. Liquid truth syrup. I don't know. Is that near like something people say? No. No.

Okay. But they will in the future. Did I just coin a term? Yes. Liquid truth syrup. Truth serum? Probably. And doesn't need liquid. No, you might have been. Because the serum.

I think you were conflating liquid luck. Yeah. And truth serum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To make a new better thing. Liquid truth syrup. Yeah, better than the sum of its parts. Agreed. Yeah. But he said, he asked Byron, oh, do you think the American Express inspector may be called the TV station?

He said, I don't know why they'd particularly want that either. And he's like, and I can't imagine the restaurant guy rang him. Furman said that the American Express investigator had gone into the restaurant looking for a particular suspect with a particular card and the owner had pointed at Carlson. Okay. So this is also where it goes from Carlson's always said, it's just mistaken identity. Furman and hand crank Harry, they're both like, nah, he was the guy we were after. And it all just fell apart. Which is just entirely different from how the story is mainly known. He says, Furman guessed that the investigator wanted an acute response and had therefore

called triple zero to tell them he'd come upon one of Victoria's 10 most wanted. So of course, all the uniformed coppers in the area swarmed on the place and channel seven and Chris Reason turned up as well But before the fraud squad detectives arrived, they'd let him go to the toilet and he'd gotten rid of the credit card We couldn't find it, but we arrested him his jaw dropped. He went what he calmly walked out to the car Then as soon as he saw the media that was when all hell broke loose It was like Jacqueline Hyde said Furmanman. When we got him into the car, he said, well, that was fun. We went over the watch house with him, said Byron. Our two superintendent inspectors in the fraud squad were there.

They didn't bother coming down to the watch house when you were arresting someone unless it was some kind of big deal. This is more of him saying, we got the right guy and this is why. But remember the media the next day reason said, oh, we got a call saying it was mistaken identity. Yeah. Entirely different stories. Byron used to record the details of his cases in a journal of Carlson. He wrote in his article in the monthly, which he referred to his journal notes that there

was not much in there. A name, Cecil George Edwards, the date, what he was ultimately charged with, 19 counts of fraud and receiving stolen goods, and the amounts involved totaling some $70,000. Oh wow. We had the complainants, we had the evidence, we had him cold up until we turned up for court

the next day to find some dolt of a watch housekeeper had released him on overnight bail, which he then ran from. Carlson never showed up for his court appearance. Maybe he did talk his way out of the watch house. They're not sure how he even got out. Either he talked his way out. Pretended he was a cop. I've been locked up in here with all these criminals.

Let me out, young man. Absolutely absurd. And this story also makes me go, no, like he he'd been viral for years before he came out and he sort of said he just didn't know he was viral. But that seems kind of unlikely. But no one's ever gone. If he was like, I don't know, I'm still could be on the hook for this. Yeah, that's right. Had to lay low for years.

But yeah, they sort of suggest they don't know if he talked his way out or maybe got help from other police. Dappen says, after all, the Czech frauds had always relied on corrupt cops. So maybe he was, you know, like he's just throwing shit or he doesn't know. Meanwhile, the clean skins at the fraud Squad discovered Carlson was wanted for other alleged offences. I think it was maybe counterfeiting, said Byron. For two or three weeks afterwards, we had to down tools and focus on him. Someone from the Drug Squad said that they had him trying to sell some stolen property

to a bloke who was an agent. We wanted to set something up there, but we weren't allowed to because it broached the ongoing drug investigation, which was considered to be a lot more important than our shitty fraud. These guys, I don't think they were real happy with their work. Really putting fraud down, isn't he? So we were stormy there, and then I got a much bigger job given to me and that pretty much took over my life. I didn't think about it much after that, other than to keep wondering why this guy had never been caught. He ended up being a university lecturer and he at one class showed the videos. That's me. And and then under one of the videos, someone commented, hey, my lecturer was one of those cops. And that sounds like Daphn, I think, got onto him.

Ah, interesting. I always read the comments. Yes. So it's productive. Yeah. That's what we always say. Uh, incredibly. And sometimes I tire of using that word in relation to Carlson.

It seemed that Carlson was still technically on the run. Uh, although of course his only crime may have been to have eaten a succulent Chinese meal. From the day we arrested him and he didn't show up court, he would have had a bench worn out for him. That would be sitting on your head for life until you came to light. And then you'd have to deal with it. He's never had to deal with it. He never would have been actually prosecuted for those offences. So they're like, he should have still been on prosecuted for those offenses. So they're like, he should, he shouldn't have still been on the hook for, for these charters that he's denying were even there. And most of the meter reports also said it was a mistaken identity.

So really hard to pin down what's happened. Yeah. Um, but yeah, very different account of the story than most versions you'll find online. Anyway, after the video went viral in the 2010s, he first resurfaced publicly on a short Brown Cardigan video in June of 2019. Cardigan? Brown Cardigan, what did I say? Cardigan.

Oh, good. I was just double checking it was Brown Cardigan. In that case, for once, I wasn't mocking you, but if you'd like me to, I will. Yeah, no, please. It's just a really short video where some guys recognise him in a pub. Yeah, I think I remember that. And he's like, oh, you're rolling now. And he goes, yeah, what do you want me to say? And he says a couple lines, democracy or manifest and don't touch me on the penis, that sort

of thing. And he says, oh, that's great. And that's the video. And people are like, holy shit. Like everyone was like at that point, like who was it? They said no one really knew who he was. Assumed he was probably dead. Like did just didn't know. Yep.

Um, should we say that Brown cardigan is like an Australian Instagram channel? Yeah, we should say that. That's true. Cause otherwise they'd be like, what the hell is that? Yes. So he just popped up. I remember the video, the video too, and people are debating, is that actually him? And some people were like, he looks a bit different now, but that is definitely the voice. Clearly just doing a really good impersonation. But yeah, I remember at the time. And then in March of 2020 sports bet,

a gambling company got him to appear in a promotional video where he says, I am Mr. Democracy Manifest, not some Hungarian chess player. And he shows him his paintings and stuff. And he's like, he really was like a, I think he got a payout for some of his abuses early in his life. And that, when that cash ran out, maybe that was part of the reason he's like, I need some cash. So he, um, yeah, selling paintings and doing other bits and pieces that same day as the sports bed

ad, uh, the Aussie band, the chats, release a video clip, which he was featured in for their song, Don and dash. Um, this all seemed to be to help, uh, this all seemed to be set up to help publicize the launch of the website, mrdemocracymanifest.com.au which sold his official wine, get your hands off my pinot, as well as some t-shirts. But maybe let's give the final word on the arrest to Carlson himself as Dappen writes, I asked him what he'd been doing in the restaurant when the police came to arrest him.

Nothing, he said. They thought I was someone else Was he really just eating a Chinese meal? I asked. Yeah, he said I was sitting in the restaurant I've been there a dozen times. It was my favorite restaurant. He would not admit to using a stolen credit card Nevertheless, he explained that he had played it up for the TV cameras in the hope that the police would think that he was mentally ill because He would then be sent to a hospital rather than a jail and it would have been easier to escape from a hospital, he said. And if anyone knew that it would be Jack Carlson.

I don't know. Sometimes you got to have swipes to get out. Yeah, that's true. Oh man, jeez. Your butt's hanging out the back. Your butt's hanging out and you're like, where are my pants? Yeah. His obituary in the Times says he did did pass away if you didn't know, last year. His obituary in the Times says, in later years, Carlson lived off the grid with a big energetic dog in a rundown shell of a building off a dirt track not far from Lake Wivenhoe in southeast Queensland.

Don't know if that's how you pronounce Wivenhoe, but I'd like to think it is. But of course, all good things must come to an end. And Jack Carlson, criminal and internet sensation, died from systemic inflammatory response syndrome on the 7th of August, 2024, aged 82. Two months prior to his death, he went through chemo and a lot of different things, but his health really did decline over the last few years. Two months prior to his death, he was reunited with another one of the cops from the famous arrest, a guy called Stole What. Stole What? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I didn't steal anything. I'm a cop. Stole What? Stole What? That's incredible. I did not put that together until. It happens all the time when you're writing. Yeah, because it's spelled S-T-O-W-L-W-A-T-T. When you say it out loud, that happens all the time. I'm reading a name and I go, I didn't realize that was an incredible name.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where then you're like, all right, well, we're going to spend a bit of time on this. Yeah. No, here we go. But yeah, Stole What? Stole What? Stole What? He was he was there at the arrest and they they reunited a couple of months before his death for for a media spot to announce the making of a television documentary directed by a guy called Heath Davis

about his troubled life, which I don't believe has come out yet, but it's meant to be coming out this year. And it's called The Man Who Ate A Succulent Chinese Meal. They returned to the Chinese Sea Restaurant, which unfortunately has moved locations, but apparently the business still exists. And yeah, they reenacted the events of that day. But he was getting pretty frail, so he wasn't able to put up quite as big of a performance. But he continued to maintain his innocence, insisting to ABC News Breakfast.

It was a case of mistaken identity. That was his consistent line. He literally said, Mr. What? The ex-coppa. Mr. What? Sorry, Mr. What? The ex-copper. Mr. What? Sorry, Mr. Dad. Mr. What? Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, Mr. Dad. Mr. Sir Dad. Mr. Sir.

Ugh. Ugh. I'm frightened. So after he died, Mr. What? That cop. Mr. What? As in stole what? Paid tribute to the man he came to regard as a mate describing Mr. Carlson as larger than life with a big heart. It's a sad day for Australia as we've just lost a true colourful character. He had a very tough upbringing and life and was a product of his environment. And finally, this is from nine news after he died. The Carlson family confirmed the death, saying he was surrounded by family. In a statement, the family said,

he walked a full and colorful path and despite the troubles thrown at him, he lived by his motto, to keep on laughing. Jack leaves daughter Heidi, his son Eric, his nieces, Kim, Kelly and Kerry, and nephew Carl, grandchildren, Terry, Lace and Ne Neck and many grand nieces and nephews behind. Sorry. What about Barbara? Yeah, Barbara died of cancer, unfortunately. Oh, it's sad. And Jim also, Jim died.

I think Jim died in a fire. Oh, wow. Yeah, just so much tragedy. Was someone's name Neck? Yeah, someone's name was Neck. N-E-C, did you pronounce that Neck or Nech? Sure, Lace and Neck. Terry Lace.

Grandchildren Terry Lace, which I guess is like a Terry Towling soul lace. Yeah. Which I think would be beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Very soft. Terry Lace, beautiful name for a boy or girl. He will be sorely missed, the family said.

His niece, Kim Edwards, revealed Mr. Carlson had just turned 82 last week and had spent the last few weeks of his life in hospital. He had a few attempts to escape and pulled his cords out a couple of times and asked us many times to sneak in his pipe. As a final send off, we gave uncle a taste of red wine through his drip just before it was removed. The documentary director, Heath Davis, said the doco team are heartbroken with the news of his death, calling him an icon.

Jack lived a life unlike any other. In fact, he's such a larger than life figure who survived such adversity, it's hard to believe he's left us. Jack's inherent ability to always see the bright side of life despite the insurmountable hardship is something I'll carry forward with me in my own life. There really is only one Jack Carlson and he truly was Australia's last larrikin. So that is my report on Mr. Democracy Manifest. Wow. And now we know the story. Yeah.

And I mean, like I said, there's a lot more to it. Skipped over most of the grimish stuff, but I mean, there's still a lot of grim stuff in there. Yeah, that's saying something. Yeah, totally. What a life. Pretty full on life. Mm.

Yeah, but yeah, the full title of Dappin's book gives you a bit more of an idea of what it's about. It's called Carnage, A Succulent Chinese Meal, Mr Rent-A-Kill and the Australian Manson Murders. Okay. Yeah. So I think I think and a lot of the the reviews of people going, you know, the cover, thought it was going to be when the cover features a still from that famous video. And you think it's going to be maybe a bit lighter than it is. Yeah, like a sort of fun romp through Australia's underworld. You go, oh, which is what I thought it was going to be more like, you know,

actually prison escapes and these sort of fun things. But yeah. Yeah. Wow. But yeah, what? Anyway, fascinating and. It sounds like it's still debated as to why the cameras were there, but we're thankful. Oh my god.

They were there. 100%. What a legacy to leave. It must have been so surprising to him that it's 1991 it's being filmed and then 20 years later it's on the internet. People are probably telling him his kids and grandkids probably like, holy shit is this huge? Yeah.

You'd be like, oh yeah, that was a funny thing like in the life that he led. Yeah, you might forget about that. Oh yeah, I guess I did that. And it just changes your life two decades later. It's such a wild turn of events. Yeah, like there's an ultra, I'll post some photos during the week, photos that I never saw that were featured in Tappan's book of Carlson on stage earlier in his life.

And it's, yeah, I just don't understand why, why haven't we seen more of it? Yeah. I don't know. And also we should say- The fact that he's on TV, why aren't these chill? If there are clips. Yeah, get that. Yeah, if you've got that archival footage. But we should say if you somehow have never seen the video, if you're overseas perhaps

or who knows, you've somehow never come across it, do yourself a favor. Go to YouTube. I'm sure you'll probably link to it in the show notes as well, the original, but type in Democracy Manifest or Succulent Chinese Meal and you will enjoy. the original, but type in democracy manifest or succulent Chinese meal. You will enjoy. It's one of the greats. You assured me that I could. I assured you of nothing. You haven't been assured of anything.

You haven't been assured of anything. So funny. Please get in the car. Yeah, it's this little man. Please. Wow. Good stuff, Matty. What a story. So good to learn more about the man behind the video. Please. Wow. Good stuff, Matty. What a story. So good to learn more about

the man behind the video. Yeah. I'm glad you're here for it, Poppa. Yeah. Thanks for saving it for me. I don't, I don't know what the Subradi Memoir Book Club would have made of it. Yes. And I would have been a bit salty to have missed that one. Whereas missing Hapchepsoot, whatever. Whatever. I'm kidding. I've listened to that episode. It's great. Yeah. And you're spot on, Jess. It was a great story and well told. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show.

And I want to say everyone, I mean everyone. That includes Jess, Dave and I. Hello. I'm still here. Dave, do you want to explain what happens here? What we do here is we take a little bit of time to sort of shout out some of the people that support the show on patreon.com slash do go on pod, but also get them to contribute to the show by suggesting some things, giving some facts and quotes or questions, which we'll get to in a second. But there's also a bunch of other reasons you would want to sign up to the Patreon.

Like we have four bonus episodes a month. Nearly every Sunday we'll put out a bonus episode, including a Dungeons and Dragons. Uh, we're about to start the new campaign this month. Yeah. Last, I mean, last season finished in June. New ones kicking off straightaway this month in July Which is we've already recorded it was so much fun And we also put out bonus episodes mini reports

I say mini they're basically full length reports just without this section on the end of it You can also get ad free listening So you don't get any of the ads hear about live shows before anyone else get discount tickets be part of the Facebook group We're it's a lovely corner of the internet. But first of all, we have the fact quote or question map where people submit a fact, quote or a question or something like that. And I think it often has a jingle that sounds a little something like this. Fact, quote or question.

Hang on, that wasn't right, was it? Ding. That kind of works though, cause it could be like, he always remembers the bong, she always remembers the song. Oh, okay, great. That's actually great. And especially if you're doing it in the style of the Sucking At Chinese Meal, man, that's perfect.

Bong. But you just assured me that I could bong. He's got a great vibrato on the bong. It's beautiful, isn't it? You assured me I could bong on. Yeah, so the way this works is, if you're on the Sydney Schomburg level or above, you have to give us a fact or a question or a brag or a suggestion or really whatever you like and I'll read them out.

But I read them out for the first time on the show. That is just to excuse me for the fact that I might stumble, I might fumble, and also they might have written something crook, but I won't know until the words are out of my mouth. That's actually true. The first one comes and if it's left in AJ, the editor, he made that choice. Yeah. It's taken full legal responsibility.

Correct. So the first one comes from Chloe Morris. You also get to give yourself a title and Chloe's title is, I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son. And Chloe's offering a brag. Well done there. Writing, Hey mates, Chloe here. Longtime listener, medium time Patreon, and first time fat quota question.

Ah, welcome Chloe. How exciting. And I'm here with a brag. Thank you brackets. Sorry in advance, it's long. I'm a midwife and I've been qualified just over a year. Woo. Woo.

When I qualified, I signed up to Patreon as a way to celebrate for myself and to say thank you to you guys for the pod. But I'm only just finding the right time now to submit this, though. I've now just progressed at work to being a fully-fledged rather than newly qualified midwife so it seemed like a good time to get my butt in gear

and finally submit this brag to you guys about qualifying. But also as a thanks so much for all that you do. I started listening to the pod a couple of months before lockdown. This was excellent timing as I had the whole back catalog to keep me entertained. Ah, nice. However, it also meant you guys quickly became my firm favorite.

And from then on, I have had the pod with me on the journey they call life, navigating challenges and successes alike. In short, I just want to say thank you so much for Duguon. Really appreciate the effort you guys put in and all the behind the scenes stuff to create the wonderful end product. Keep going and being your amazing selves. Lots of love Chloe. P.S. Shout out to my friend Esther who introduced me to the pod and my boyfriend Ben who I have also indoctrinated to the Do Go On cult and who is my other stalwart second only to the pod.

Whoa. Nice. It's us and Ben. Congrats, Ben. Congrats, Ben. That's very nice. I mean, yeah, it's a little bit of a brag, but mostly you just spent most of the time being nice to us.

Yeah. That's a compliment masquerading as a brat. Oh, bragging. You should be very proud of yourself. That's very cool. Being a midwife is a really great job. Yeah, midwives do fantastic work. I experienced them in my babies pool last year.

Don't make this about you, Dave. Let's not make this about you, mate. Okay, Chloe, fantastic midwife. Can I say, Ben sounds fantastic. And Chloe, say hi to your pheasant plucker dad. Yeah. Thank you so much to Chloe. And the second final one this way comes from CJ tour

Okay, it's that jackbox slash improv guy. You would have remembered me telling you about him. Yeah, seeing is showing Chicago the Drunken Hitchcock aka hitch cocktails Anyway CJ has a question writing, first, congratulations. I'm catching up with the pod as a father myself, and I want to congratulate Matt and Jess because I'm very proud of them. As a dad, it means more coming from me. That's true.

CJ, it's so true. Dave's compliments in the last year have really started to mean something. Yeah, because before I was like, shut up. You're just wasting words. Yeah, and now I'm like, hang on a second. Feels good for me too. I've been listened to sometimes.

So here is the question for us. What type of dad are we? Spiritual, I mean. A sports dad, a barbecue dad, a nap dad, a daddy. Happy to be getting back into the pod. Cheers. Well, I like the sound of nap dad. Can I be a nap dad on the couch? Yeah, absolutely. Or dad you talk about will fall asleep at family things on the armchair? Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All the time.

That was before he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Right. He was just tired all the time. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he still falls asleep everywhere. Man, I think- It's very impressive. The man can sleep. That's a like, yeah, like an old pop with a blanket over my legs.

Yeah. And there's like chaos going around. But you're just asleep. But I'm nodding off under like an old knitted blanket. Yeah, that's good. Nap dad. Nap dad. I think I'd be the kind of dad where people would say really patronising things to me in cafes. Like, oh, are you babysitting? Or like stuff like that. That's my dream. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you look at- Doing the bare minimum. I'd be a bare minimum dad. You look uncomfortable doing it. Yes. Yeah.

Oh, definitely. No birthdays and barely middle names. Absolutely. I saw a dad at a shopping center the other day. Three little girls and an and a baby that mum was breastfeeding. And he was sitting at the table of the food court on his phone, not engaging once. Were you was probably looking for some tips? No. Some fun games to play.

Potentially, it was his first break because he'd been doing all the work up until that point. And he's finally got a minute to himself. Yeah. And yeah, here comes Judgemental Jess. No, I'm saying I'm aspirational. I'm saying that's the kind of dad I want to be. I'm praising him. Oh, like you should. He's living the dream. It's a Fatboy Slim reference.

Dave, what about you? I think there were, I'm already that dad that Jess just described, so. Love getting on my phone. Deadbeat dad. No, I'm more a. Disinterested dad. No, maybe overly interested dad. Oh yeah.

Right. Too much. Yeah. Give us a bit of space dad. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa dad. I think I can put the doll's jacket on. Okay.

I'm good. I got this. I got this. As in you're just not letting him do it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You might hurt yourself. Let me do it. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That jacket doesn't go with her skirt. Yeah. What are we thinking? Let's think about the palette. Yeah. Purple and, and Purple and blue. Does daddy need to get the color wheel out again? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's start with the outside of the puzzle. You know what? Let me do it. Yeah, let me do it. You hold back. You hold back. I think I'd be one of the dads. What are those dads who cries at everything?

Really sentimental dad. Yeah. Best dads. I've become a big fan of those dads. Yeah, just burst into tears. I remember seeing my dad cry once and it felt weird. Yeah. It was at a funeral.

You walk up to him and say... And I'm like, what's happening? You walk up and say, stop that. You went, what the fuck, dad? Yeah, no. Cringe dad. I think cry early, cry frequently. Yeah.

Make you crying just something that your kids are like, oh, here he goes again. Just started saying, like, we just never would say say love you, even though clearly we love each other. Yeah. But started saying to the immediate family now that we're all well and truly adults. And it is it we're working through it. So like, what do you call that therapy where you. Yeah. Immersion. Immersion therapy. Yeah. You're immersing yourself in love. Yeah.

And it was awkward at first, but now, you know. immersion. Immersion therapy. Yeah. You're immersing yourself in love. Yeah. And it was awkward at first, but now, you know. My brother and I are one and done. His wedding day, I said, I love you. He said, love you too. Then we laughed and I, and that was it. That's great. I think that was nice.

Was that a love at the last, last time? Yeah. He didn't say that your wedding. No. I said it to him and he didn't respond. Oh. He walked away. I kissed him on his head. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you hear, I said it to him and he didn't respond. Oh, he walked away. I kissed him on his head. Did you hear what I said? I grabbed him by his head.

And I thought I thought we're at that stage. I misread the situation. The bride's brother. You could kiss him on the head. We thought it was disrespectful. It's disrespectful. You must kiss the bride's brother. Yeah, and a real patronizing way, even though he's slightly older than me. Hey, oh, hey, hey.

He is months older than you. It's time for the kissy. Slightly older. Look at him clutching. Wait, what would you call months? Slightly older than me. Same age, I'd call that. Okay.

Yeah, we came out at the same time. Then again, I am slightly older than Dave. Slightly. What are we talking about? Oh, yes. What kind of dads we'd be. I wish. But CJ, you forgot to do your own. Yeah. Well, CJ's a proud dad. Proud dad. Proud boy.

Dad is a proud dad. Proud dad. Proud boy. Proud boy. Not a proud boy. Not yet a proud dad. Thank you so much to CJ and Chloe. Next thing we do, shout out to a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the title of the episode. Obviously, Jack was, I was going to say diagnosed, arrested at a Chinese restaurant. Yeah.

Where were these people arrested? Oh, good one. Yes. And what is the charge? Should I look up location generator? Or do you think we could just think of places ourselves? I think location generator sounds good. Then we come up with the charge.

Yes. Unless there's a charge generator. Location generator. All right, Dave, do you want to do the charge? But he answered his own charge. What is the charge enjoying a meal? So I'll say the name, Jess does the place, and then you say, what is the charge enjoying it? And you riff off the place.

Do you reckon you're up to that? Yep. Because I know I've done two levels of improv classes about 10 years ago. Yeah. Mate, that's paid for itself. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I could do it easy. But what I need to tell you is that this year at the Comedy Festival, Sammy P and I did our

show at the Improv Conspiracy. Which is where I did my classes. And there was an improv show after us every night. And I think that the magic sort of rubbed off on us. Just being in the room. Yeah. That's all it takes, osmosis. He's the only improv, the improv didn't rub off on you, did they?

Is that what you mean? Dave. Dave, do you need to talk about something? Dave, are you okay? We should do this off and on. No, I had a fantastic experience at that venue. It was really cool. It was really well run.

It was great. So please, you're doing the location and the name? Yeah, so I'll do location and the name. Yep. Jess is gonna do the place that the arrest is happening. And you're doing the location and the name? Yes, I'll do location and the name. Jess is going to do the place that the arrest is happening and your... So what's the location then? Oh, sorry. I'm saying location. Oh, their location. Because you suddenly split that up.

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yes, and you're doing criminal charges. Yeah, I say what's the charge in some context? Yes. Okay, got it. All right. Here we go. First up from Carrie or Carrie in North Carolina,

where Michael Jackson wore shorts under shorts. No, that's not quite. Michael Jackson. Where Michael Jordan. I mean, Michael Jackson might have worn shorts under shorts in North Carolina. We don't know for sure. We don't know for sure. From Carrie in North Carolina. Thank you, Shay. Shay arrested at Baseball Park. Baseball Park. Thank you. Shay. Shay arrested at Baseball Park.

Baseball Park. Maybe Stadium. What's the charge? Stealing a foul ball? A beautiful foul ball? Is that what you were imagining? Man. Honestly, my imagination wouldn't

have been that good. No. Yeah. That is special. How has he done that? I don't know. He took Baseball Park and he found foul ball in that. He. Yeah. That is special. How has he done that? I don't know. He took baseball park and he found foul ball. He actually transformed. That was really great. Here's what you forget. While you've done two levels of improv, which again, paid for itself, it shows every day. Yep. 100% of great investment.

Dave did a drama degree. So he can also channel. Pet for self. I would argue that I spent many tens of thousands of dollars more than you might. Yes. And I think we can agree that sometimes Dave goes into a character on this show and we lose Dave. And I think a little bit of that just happened.

It was magic. It was beautiful to watch. Thank you for sharing that with us. Thank you for being vulnerable and using the space. Next up, and thank you Shay. Thank you Shay. Hopefully you're enjoying that foul ball. Next up, I'd love to thank from Berkeley, California, JD.

Arrested in a candy store. What's the charge? Eating a red licorice strap, a sugary, sweet, red licorice strap. Oh my God. He's incredible. He's actually incredible. I thought the baseball, how's he going to top it? I know. And he has done that.

Sugary red strap. Red strap. Let's keep it. Let's keep the balance. He's incredible. Next up from address unknown. Can only assume from deep within the fortress of the mold. Please, mold.

You don't want to be the fortress of the mold. That's an awful place to be. I didn't think fortress of the molds was good, but mold is worse. Oh my God. Just calling someone for that. Um, please and thank you Aiden. Uh, surname starts with R, but hasn't written that in the thing, so. Aiden has been arrested at the movie theater.

At the movie theater. What's the charge? Stealing a Star Wars themed novelty soft drink cup? A succulent... No, drink cup? A succulent... No, I shouldn't say succulent, I should say... Succulent cup. A grossly overpriced Star Wars themed novelty soft drink cup? I like it, because this one, that is a crime.

Stealing. Yeah. You said, what's the crime? Stealing. Yeah, that is. Yes. Yeah, correct. Aiden was with a Y as well. That helps make you understand who you are.

Mole man. Next up from Chicago. The Windy City, Illinois. Please and thank you, Katie Carney. Katie, this is very appropriate for Chicago. Arrested in the desert. Oh my God. What's the charge? Eating some sand? very appropriate for Chicago, arrested in the desert. What's the charge?

Eating some sand? Some nitty gritty, very dry sand. Listeners, it's the end of our day and we're losing our minds. This could be the end of our day. Yeah, that was good. That was good. That was good. That was good. Still topping it once after another from Columbus, Ohio, God's country.

So please and thank you, Paige Kajioli. Arrested in the lunchroom. The lunchroom. You know what? Given him heaps to work with. The generator isn't giving him heaps to work with. What's the charge? Eating a sec, stealing a second bonus slice of salami. A dried out bonus slice of salami. A dried out disgusting slice of salami. You've got a specific lunch room in your mind, I'm guessing.

I think you're really shitty cafeteria where you've gone, fuck it. I'm getting an extra slice. Gotcha. From Canberra in the Australian capital territory, a please and thank you. Alan Cashin and Brianna Gordon. Both arrested in a barn. In a barn? Mm-hmm. What's the charge?

Stealing a cow? A beautiful, big cow? Stop saying stealing. I think the problem is you keep admitting to the crime. Big cow, no, money. The cops are like, yes, that's it. You say riding a cow or something. Oh, OK. Loving a cow.

Looking at a cow. Enjoying the sight of a cow. What's the charge? Milking a cow. Yeah, that's good. A delicious big, beefy cow. I mean, if you're on someone's property milking their cow, then I think that probably is a crime. But yeah.

Trespassing. Murdering a woman? Stop admitting to the crime. From Bournemouth in maybe Dorchester. Dorchester. In Great Britain. It's Leah Hutton. Arrested in a coffee shop.

What's the charge? Eating a latte? Using a spoon to eat a latte? Just spooning it in. It's really slow and it's gotten very cold. From Leeds, Leeds, Leeds in Leeds, Great Britain, please and thank you, Janice Leung. Janice was arrested at the unemployment office. What's the charge? Eating one of those tiny little pencils? Those little pencils you fill out forms with?

Why did you eat a pencil? Got hungry in the queue. You're there a long time, that's fair. I didn't bring fucking lunch. From Lawrence, in maybe Kansas, in the United States, it's Aaron Gillespie. Arrested on a college campus. On a college campus. What's the charge?

He's got a steeling gun. Eating a letterman jacket. Oh, but it could be anything else. If this guy was eating because he was at a restaurant, this could just be anything you're doing on a college campus. Okay, fine. Playing frisbee. Dreaming big. Getting an education. Teaching a class.

You could be doing all of those things. No, I like eating a letterman jacket. Yeah, he's a moth. We get it. No, you're right. From address unknown, Grannies Shum, deep within the fortress of the moles, please and thank. That'd be right. Oh, finally. From address unknown, can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles. Please and thank you to Hayley A.

Hayley A. Arrested on a yacht. On a yacht. Eating a bass? What's the chart? Eating a sangria? A delicious bottomless jug of sangria. Two eating drink ones.

Fantastic. Where does he get his ideas from? He's very good. I couldn't think of a word I should have said. Eating ceviche, a delicious uncooked cup of ceviche. Ceviche? Dave, we were joking a few times in there throwing things at you, but you nailed that.

That was incredible. It's beautiful to watch you work. And I've just realized I've somehow I've accidentally done. I think I've given 10 names, so you did one more than me. Oh, my God. So for the listener at home going, this feels like it's going longer than that. Well, it really felt like it took a long time for me to. I think maybe Haley has been thanked in a previous episode.

But anyway, thanks again, Hayley. Hey, enjoy your sangria and your ceviche. And that means we've only got one last thing to do, and that is to welcome some people into the triptych club. We've got three inductees this week. Dave, do you want to explain? While you're on a creative roll, do you want to explain what's going on in here? These people have been on the Shadow level or above for three consecutive years

So they've already had a shout-out like the one we just gave then but We want to enshrine them forever. We want to welcome them into our Hall of Fame, our clubhouse This is real theater of the monster. Did you say Hall of Fame? Our Hall of Fame. Yeah, well once you're in you can't get out But people love our Hall of Fame I haven't, I haven't once. I've had no complaints about the hole of fame. I haven't had any complaints about my hole. No. People say, get me in the hole. And I say, all right, if you've got consecutive years, you're in.

Come on in. So what we do is we lift the velvet rope, you jump into the hole and inside there's food, there's drink, there's fun things. There's sometimes film festivals. It's fun to be out in the hole. Yes. And there's music. There's bands.

Somebody in the Patreon group was talking about how there's air hockey and ice hockey available and how there should be fire hockey. And I said that sounds great. But yes, but I can only assume the fire will be too hot. Oh, no. Great. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like field hockey is like earth hockey. So we do. And these are all on tables.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's hockey is like earth hockey. That's earth hockey. So we do. And these are all on tables. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's very true. Good point. Yeah. Whoever said that fire hockey, I think that's going to be. I think that's next.

It's going to be real big. But we are still completing some Renaults. So yeah, fire hockey. We'll see if we can upgrade the arcade. And Jess, you, you, did you suggest a drink or is that, is there firehockeys? Probably taken most of your time this week. It's the name of a cocktail. Oh, fantastic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just set most drinks on fire. Great. It can be anything you want, but I am gonna set it on fire. What would your succulent Chinese cocktail be? Well, I've got Chinese food. Oh, great. I've ordered in though. Mm-hmm.

So we've got a bit of, you know, sweet and sour. We've got some egg rolls. We've got some fried rice. We've got some Kung Pao chicken. Kung Pao. Yeah. We've got the works. It's going to be pretty good.

I'm pumped. And Dave, have you booked a band? Is that- Yeah, never going to believe it. You'll never believe it. You mentioned them earlier. I couldn't believe it. I've been speaking to the manager for a long time, long time, because they're

often out on the road. They do a lot of shows these guys, but the chats are here. Oh, fantastic. They have promised to play their song Dine and Dash at least twice. Maybe Smoko? Yeah, Smoko and also Pubfeed. Yeah, great. All I want, all I need.

Yep. Yeah, so. Good Pubfeed. Look forward to that. Yeah, they're just about to head out the road to to Europe, but we got them just in time. Yeah, the Walmart show. But like, obviously, it's intimate, so it's fine. I love it. The Walmart show is the best.

They're loose, they're having fun. They're figuring it out. Big fan. All right. I'm just having a look. We are still doing renovations on our Triple Triptych Club, which our first guest is still scheduled to be Adam Stoltz in November. Because you know you're the first one in, Adam. Are you still standing waiting in line or are you still just enjoying the facilities

knowing you're going to be called upon? What do you reckon? Yeah, I reckon chill out. Stop hovering by the- Hey, hey. Because it's also getting in the way of the tradies. They're finding it weird. They've made a couple of comments of like, could you get that guy to stop just hovering at the fence?

Big time, yeah. Just relax. We'll let you know when it's ready. They don't work faster when they're being watched. No, no. People rarely do. So, are we ready to read out some names? Yep. All right. Here we go.

Three inductees this week. If you hear your name, I'll lift up the velvet rope. You run on in. Dave's on the stage. He's hyping up the thousand odd people already there. That's right, but you gotta jump into the hole when you hear your name.

Of course. And yeah, he'll hype you up with a bit of, bit of softish word play, punnery and whatnot. And Jess will then hop up Dave, because you know, he's in this theater of the mind somehow. He's playing a guy with low confidence, which is really against type. And again, shows what a great actor he is. So three names. are you ready Dave? I'm so ready. Please, and thank you and welcome into the Triptage Club from Ottawa in the United States in Illinois. I think it's Nate B.

Nate B, he's my matey. Woo! So open on Nate B welcome here or something like that, but if you wanna have another go, but you don't have to. His was perfect. He's my matey. That's good stuff. I thought the rhyme was one. He's my matey. That's pretty good. I thought Ryan was one of my favorites.

Like pirates. Yeah. Matey. Yarr. Shut up. Oh, I didn't get it. Well, yeah, that's actually really clever. That's fucking very apparent.

Sorry, Dave, I didn't get it. That's incredibly apparent you didn't get it. It's too highbrow a joke for you. Sorry about him, Dave. I'm so sorry about me, Dave. Next up from address unknown, Glently Shoon from deep within the fortress of the moles, Dave. I'm so sorry about me, Dave. Next up from address unknown, Glendale Shun from Deep Within the Fortress of the Mahals, please. And thank you and welcome Jason Armitage.

I wish you knew Harmitage. Jason Armitage. Oh, that's good stuff. Shanks you very much. Armitage Shanks. Armitage Shanks. The toilet brand. Yeah, that was my first thought. And I thought that's rubbish.

Why do you keep ruining the flow? And finally from Dundee in, I believe in Scotland, maybe home of the Stuart's Dundee decanter scotch. Please. And thank you and welcome Robbie Proctor. Smarter than a doctor, he's Robbie Proctor. What do you got for that smart ass? I was thinking something about Goody Proctor or something, but I think doctor's really good.

Yeah, Goody Proctor's good. Yeah, I would have said something like, he's a real goody. Robbie's a real Goody Proctor or something, but I think Doctor's really good. Yeah, Goody Proctor's good. Yeah, I would have said something like, he's a real goody. Robbie's a real goody proctor. Thank you and welcome in Robbie, Jason and Nate. There's a reason why I've never been asked to do it. You know, I try to pull my hand up. I say, look, here if you need. Yeah, because you're a real flow killer.

Yeah, it's true. It's so true. That's my Flowrider tribute nickname. Just that we love them. And if you want to suggest a topic, there's a link in the show notes, or you can go to our website, which is dougalompod.com, where you can also find information about live shows we have coming up and the other podcasts that we do. And you can find us on social media, DougonPod or DougonPodcast on TikTok. Yes.

Like and subscribe. We love you. Boot this baby home, Dave. Until next week, thank you so much for listening. And until then, it's goodbye. Later! Bye! What is the charge?

Eating a meal? Sucking a Chinese meal? Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest. That was beautiful. Have a look at the headlock here. See that tab over here? He gets all hands on my penis. This is the boy who got me in the penis before. Hop in the car. Why did you do this to me?

Hop in the car. For what reason? What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese beer? Just his, yeah man it's very good stuff. Everything about it is so fucking good. Yeah, 10 out of 10. Yeah. God, I love it. I love it so much. I know the whole story, I was worried at times. I'm like, am I gonna ruin people's enjoyment of this story

with all the sadness surrounding it? No, because I just watched it and it's still good. Still enjoying it, okay. It's still really good. Still enjoying it. Yeah, it's still really good. Still got it. Still got it. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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