Do Go On - 507 - The Mysterious Kaspar Hauser

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

In 1828, a teenage boy was found wandering the streets of Nuremberg, Germany. No one knew who he was or where he had come from. What followed was a dramatic few years filled with drama, intrigue, and a lot of unanswered questions... This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 05:30 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.cell.com/iscience/fulltext/S2589-0042(24)01764-4?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS2589004224017644%3Fshowall%3Dtruehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaspar_Hauserhttps://allthatsinteresting.com/kaspar-hauserhttps://www.kaspar-hauser.net/en/texts/Kaspar_Hauser_the_Child_of_Europe.pdfhttps://medium.com/@karen.liebreich/kasper-hauser-the-forgotten-wild-child-a5ba73c8cbd8 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky, and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Hello, my name is Dave Warnocky. Wait, that's very confusing for new listeners. She's joking, that's Jess Perkins and I'm Matt Stewart. You're Dave Warnocky. Now, you talk, Dave. So you've done two levels of improv, and you just know-butted me. Dave, shut up. I'm trying to get Jess to talk.

Okay, sorry. Hi, everyone. Hi, Jess. You look beautiful today. Thank you. I feel really good. Jess, I've lived my whole life no butt. And now I'm spreading that joy to you. I've got no butt. A little bit of fun there. Improv.

Is that improv? Level two. It was about 10 years ago. So, you know, I'm a little rusty. Welcome to new listeners. It is like this for an hour and a half a minimum. But one of us will take it in turns to report on a topic. Yes.

I'm trying to segue into it. I'm not sure to us. Austin suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research. bring it back to the group in report form. And Jess, it is your form. Your form? Your turn.

Yes. But your form looks fantastic. Thank you so much. To regale us with a tale from history. Matt and I don't know what it's going to be. So you always start with a question to get us onto topic. Regal us with a tail. Bloody hell, that was good, Dave.

Yes, we write that down for next time. Write that down, I reckon. Put that on the website. That's good copy. That's good copy, if I've ever heard. And print. My question is, what is the name of the friendly ghost? Oh, Casper.

Correct. Sipping at the wrong time then. Yeah, why did you shoot? What a terrible time to sip. Well, normally the questions take longer and I was waiting for Dave to say some nonsense. Yeah, yeah. No, the answer is Casper. This is a story about a boy named Casper.

A ghost? Well, he doesn't start that way, Dave. He doesn't, not have a start that way. Is it, whoa, would it be a spoiler to say if he's a ghost now? Well, it's set in the 1800s, so most definitely be a ghost. Ghost confirmed. Yes. Friendly? Who knows? Okay. But there's a Caspic. There's a Casp. There's a Casp. I just knew you probably wouldn't have heard of this topic. Cool. I'm excited. Firstly, I'll tell you who suggested it. It's been suggested by a few people. Talia M. from Duned in New Zealand. Drew Paisner from L.A. Travis Alexander from Gulfport, Mississippi. Mississippi. I was going to say. How did you say Mississippi?

Travis from Mississippi. And Claire Norris from Sacramento, California. And this is a story about Casper House. Is that name ring any bells at all? No. You don't keep up with random boys from the 1820s? No, but I do think Hauser means house in German. Whoa. It was like, Schazenhausen means shit-house, doesn't it? Or is that just like a nonsense thing?

You didn't realize you just said two different words, though. Oh, did I? Hausen. Oh, what is this? Hauser. Oh, don't worry about it then. You're German and Shaizen Hauser. Shaisen Hauser.

Is that shit out? Do you remember Matt trying to speak German in Berlin where their English is incredible? Yeah. They'd approach you and be like, hi, how are you? What can I interest you today? And you'd be like, ah, ah, ah, ma, ma'am, ma'am. Good tongue. No, he'd Google translated like oat milk latte or something and then tried to order that.

And the guy just looked at him. And Matt was like, Google says that's what oatmeal is. And then Matt was like, uh, we should not be trusting Google translate. We should not be trusting Google. Yeah, he's the Swedish chef. And then you ordered a vegan sausage. And that lady's like, Vagon!

Vag on! When your food was ready. Vag on! Oh, yeah, that's right. So angry. That was that little, yeah, that little tiny sausage shop. Yeah, like a hole in the wall sort of place. Near Checkpoint Charlie.

Yep. Full tourist area. So that's, I mean, if you're in a tourist area, there's no point doing good customer service. No, agree. They're here for a day or a week. There's no repeat business. It's never coming back.

They're never coming back. To be fair, we've never went back. So, you know, if you are a German or a German speaker, good luck with this episode because there's a lot of German names, and I'm doing my best. And I will say anyone who all of a sudden is going, oh, hang on, is this some sort of soy boy cuck podcast where Matt orders a vegan sausage? Don't worry.

They've had full meat sausage. He went, one, I'll get the meatiest boy you've got. She came out and did you a four. meat. Fun meat. For meat. So over here. Not this guy, this guy's a vagan.

So yeah, he, uh, don't worry. He undid anything that I did. Oh, don't you worry about that. Dave eats meat for three when we tour because Matt and I don't eat meat. So Dave. I have to step up. He has to step up for the rest of us. But don't worry, I drink normal milk.

She's normal. She's normal. She's in the middle. I'm in the middle. I don't remember that really, but it sounds like a lot of fun. Vag up! Yeah, I did, yeah. Or the, I don't think I remember the cafe go either.

I was busy in the shop next door looking for magnets. That's true, you went there. As is my tradition. Anyway, let me tell you about Casper Hauser. So, on May 26, 1828, you can't already have a thought. Why, do have a thought? Casper Hauser, is that like German for White House, maybe? No.

Okay. I just was wondering. I thought I might have cracked a big twist. How did you get that from Casper? Why is Casper white to you? Why is Casper white? Because he's a ghost. Yeah. This is a different Casper. Okay.

That is a classic nickname for pale people. Like I've been called Casper in the past because I'm a pale man. This is just a boy named Casper. It's with a cave. That helps you differentiate in your brain. But that could just be the German. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Do you want a minute. Do you know what, I will... No, but what did I say? What did I ask before we started recording? Just let you finish some sentences. Just some. Okay. The first one is a great place to start.

If I could get through the first sentence? I will try. I got to, on May, and it was... Yeah. You had thought of something. Yeah, I was like, he's going to say something about May. But I just think AJ, our editor, he can trim around this and make it less annoying. Yeah.

For me right now in the moment? No, no, not for you. Okay. to deal with it. But for the listeners, we'll fix it for them. So it's May 26, 1828, and a teenage boy is found wandering the streets of Nuremberg in Germany. From all that's interesting, the young boy of about 16 was wearing pantaloons, a silk necktie, a waistcoat, a grey jacket, and a handkerchief with the initials K-H embroidered onto it. His boots were so torn up that his feet were bursting through them and mangled from the road. He was carrying two letters with him. The first letter was

address to a Captain von Wessonig, commander of the fourth squadron of the sixth cavalry regiment in Nuremberg, and it says this. From the Bavarian border, the place is unnamed, 1828. Very cryptic.

Doesn't actually give a lot of information, yeah. And it's in English? Or is that, you've translated? I've personally translated that. Well done. So I'm not, I could be wrong. Oh, okay. It might have said quite a lot of information. It could have said, yeah, milk, eggs. Yeah. Is there a chance just that you've just translated all the words that you know in German and those are, that's all you know.

Thank you so much for thinking I would know that many words in German. Well, we know what white is. Casper. Casper. Casper, Scha. Oh, going all the way to. White shit. Oh, no.

Casper Shazen. Casper Shazen. Go shit. Who did this? No one went to this toilet. Who did this? Who did this? Wow.

That's someone who's done a shit somewhere and is trying to. pin it on someone else. Who did this? What's that? It must be a ghost. Let's all agree. No one's been in here. What kind of barbarian would shit on the floor like that? That's crazy. Whoa, must be a ghost. I was the only one in here. I didn't see anyone doing it.

It must have been a ghost. But then, yeah, obviously, you know, Barack Obama and whatever, they work at Kasper Hauser. Correct. Hauser. Now that I say, the letter must have said, more because the note then says, the resource says,

the letter did not say who it was from, but gave details of this mysterious boy. His name was Caspar Hauser. The anonymous letter writer said that he had taken Hauser in as an infant in October of 1812. The author said he had taught him reading, writing and the Christian religion, but never let him, quote,

take a single step out of my house. Whoa, he took housing to his housing. your German is almost as good as your French Thank you so much He's a linguist He's a linguist Those two countries share a border So I think a lot of what I know

About the French language translates across Yeah It's so beautiful how languages do that They borrow from each other And they're you know Yeah It's gorgeous So it's an absolute pleasure to have you on

And with your linguistic skills I'm sure it's going to come in handy For the next hour and a bit Yeah Dunker, dunker, dunker. That's interesting in their letter that they're coming out and be like, yep, I kidnapped this boy. Yeah, I took this boy in and I did not let him leave the house.

Six years inside. Oh, I kept this boy a prisoner I did. Told him Christianity, though. The Christian religion. So, you know. So, you know. Pretty good. Something's right over on there.

Hey? The letter stated that Hauser would like to become a cavalry man as his father was. This next sentence is so brutal and blunt. and probably a bit lost in translation, but it really made me laugh. The letter invited von Wisenig to either take in Hauser or hang him. Oh, wow. Your choice is yours. Bit full on.

I found a more direct quote that says, he writes that if the cavalry captain cannot keep the boy, he should drive him away or hang him in the chimney. Not better. Hang him in the chimney. Gosh, that's not where you want to be hung. Yeah. Or hanged.

Don't confusing. Like, why keep him captive or keep him for, deck for you know 16 years ish and then and then go all right well is your problem now or kill him I don't care maybe hopefully they're just they're trying to be dramatic to be like take him in or kill him I guess I got to take him I guess I got to take him in guess I got to look after him are you sure that's not a mistranslation is like take him in or just hang with him for a bit yeah probably see if you get on and maybe it's like a because this is the 1800s and in Germany so we've got language and time cultural differences. So that could have been, it could have been like slang at the time of like,

or, you know, help a brother out, send, you know, give him a bit of cash send him on his way. Maybe it didn't mean hang him to death. So this guy is, he's kidnapped a kid and he's released him after 16 years? Well, I don't know. Well, actually, the second letter, because you remember he's got two letters with him. So that was all in the first. That's the first letter. Great. And we don't know who wrote that. The second letter was written by House's mother to his former caretaker. Basically, she could not feed the baby and kind of like left it on this doorstep of like, can you look after this kid?

So it wasn't kidnapped. She stated that the boy's name was Casper. He was born on the 30th of April 1812 and that his father had been a cavalry man of the 6th regiment before he died. So Hauser was taken to the house of Captain von Wessonig, Wessonig, in the hopes that maybe the captain knew the boy, but the captain did not. And attempts to get information out of Casper proved feeble. Haser only repeated the words, I want to be a cavalry man as my father was, and

horse, horse, because he was so young, that's all he could say. Well, he was 16 or like roughly, but, yeah, has not, I mean, has been kept inside and not really educated or. Right. They're like, yeah, I told him all it is to know how to say horse, horse, horse, horse, Hoss or horse? That's how he communicates. Two horses for yes, one horse for no. Any attempt at gaining more information caused Houser to cry or simply repeat, don't know. So he's very limited vocabulary. Still perplexed by this odd teenage boy, Von Wessonig sent Houser to the police station where he was further questioned.

They noted a few things about him. He had, like I said, very limited vocab. But he could recite a few prayers and he had some reading ability. His behavior was very childlike, despite appearing to be sort of mid-teens from all that's interesting. When he was brought a lighted candle, he stared at it in amazement and tried to grab it only to burn his hand. So it's like he'd never seen a candle before. Oh, wow. He was equally fascinated by his own reflection in a mirror, which he also tried to grab in vain. Some speculated that he was perhaps a feral child who raised himself in the forests. So they're like, where the fuck is this kid come from?

Right. They're thinking the mum's lying. Or the mom is lying. Yeah. He's a feral kid and some woman's written a story about him. Well, all the mum had said, the mum's letter was from when he was an infant. Oh. She had, like, dumped him with the...

Oh, he did say that. Yeah. Matt, really just want to trust this mother. Matt famously thinks women are very hot, but does not trust mothers. Women are. Have you noticed that? Yeah. Women are hot.

I actually never noticed it until you started pointing it out. And then I, everywhere I go, I see hot women. Well, show me a woman. I'll show you a hot woman. That's right. No two ways about it. Yep. Try and show me a woman at hot.

Yeah. There you go. It's crazy. Point proven. But mothers? Well, is they women? Yeah. But can you trust him?

Oh, I rarely trust hot people. Okay. At gay women. Okay. So ultimately it was decided that he was a vagrant and Housel was sent to prison. Oh. Very normal, very cool response.

That's option three. Option three. Look after him hanging in a chimney or set him to prison. Chuck him in prison. I think they're kind of like, we don't know what to do with this kid. We don't know what's going on here. So they're like, well, where could we house him in a prison? Do they try and have a chat to his former carer?

The gone. There's nobody there. He's by himself. But like the letter that he's carrying, that doesn't go back to. It was anonymous. Oh, yeah, crazy. This is so wild. I'm very intrigued.

So there's no. sort of like they can't go find somebody that he lived with to go talk to them. They, the mother, they have no idea where she is if she's alive or I don't even know if she's signed a name or anything to the letter. It's just... Is Howler a common name? I actually don't think it was. I could be wrong, but I do remember reading something that it was like, both Casper and I think Hauser were not super common of the time.

So he spent the following two months in the Lugansland. tower in Nuremberg Castle. That sounds nice. That sounds lovely. Like a beautiful room service. Contrary to many later accounts, observers described Hauser as being in good physical condition and able to walk well, had a healthy complexion and seemed to physically match his purported age of 16,

although mentally he appeared to be quite immature. He was quite childlike. The mayor of Nuremberg, Mayor Binder, said that from his interactions with the boy, Hauser had an excellent memory and was a quick learner. During the course of many conversations with Mare Binder, Hauser told a different version of his past, which he later wrote down in more detail. This is from Wikipedia.org,

a beautiful German history website. Right. And he's speaking to Marebinder. Meir Binder, yes. According to Hauser's account, he had spent his youth living in solitary confinement in a dark cell. He claimed that he found rye bread and water

next to his bed each morning. At times, the water would taste bitter, and drinking it would cause him to sleep more deeply than usual. Quite bitter, of course. meaning thank you in German. Bita, bitter. So sometimes his water was more thank you. And other times, not so thank you.

Also, rye bread. That's one of my favorites. Yeah, dark rye. Ooh, mum. Are you talking? So you're saying you wouldn't mind this life. I love it. And you wake up and it's there?

Yeah, that's nice. Solitary confinement. No fucking dull conversations of co-workers or family. Loved ones. Ugh. So sometimes the, the water was more, thank you. And it would cause him to sleep more deeply.

On such occasions, upon awakening, Hauser noticed that someone had changed his straw and cut his hair and nails. So he's obviously, I never thought about that. I was imagining a drinking straw. I think probably straw he's sleeping on, like a stable. So it had changed his straw. I was like, a new straw. Stop over his straw.

That's not. That's why your water's tasting bitter, mate. You've been using the same straw for months now. Yeah, time for a new one. That's weird. No, it's probably straw. And he's got, yeah, so maybe his bed's changed. And they've cut his nails and his hair.

Wow. He got a little trims. This is like the vet came around. Yeah, you've got to sedate a dog to clip their nails. Just a little brag. Don't have to sedate my dog. Really? Do you have to put him in a sling?

No. He just hands pour over. Well done. He's a good boy. Sling. I mean, he did throw up today, but he's a good boy. There are, Matt, as a non-dog owner, there are some dogs, like, there's devices to trim your dogs nails and one of them is like a sling where you put them in and their foot hangs out.

I'm picturing like a... Yeah. A slingshot, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you slingshot the nail. Away. Boink! Anyway. Boink is the sound?

Yeah, boink. Okay. So they've changed his straw. Pretty silly sound that that would be. Houser claimed that the person he met was a masked man who visited him shortly before his release. The visitor taught him to write his own name, stand and walk. The visitor then brought him. Hauser to Nuremberg, where he was, where he taught him to say the phrase, I want to be a cavalry man as my father was.

Hauser claimed not to understand its meaning at the time. That is incredible. So this like stranger visited him, taught him a few things, then took him to Nuremberg, but he doesn't know who they are or what they look like because he was made to, I don't know if I include this later, but he was made to like just look at the ground and not look at him. So he doesn't know what he looks like. Right. He said he was taught to stand, though, so he was on all fours before that?

I don't know. Standing on his hind legs? Or, like, stand like an army guy, you know, like, I don't know. Not sure. Hmm. Strange. Matt, you are thinking of this. He's some sort of horse boy.

No, I'm just, like, being taught to stand. Very different if it is, he doesn't know how to get up and stand on his legs, or is it, like, teaching him to stand at attention or something. Yeah, I don't know. Again, a lot of it, sort of. lost in translation and lost to history a little bit. So I don't really know. But fascinating to be taught, like, if you don't really know how to say any words

and your first thing is like, you must say, my father, I want to be a covering, man, just like my father. But you don't actually understand what that means. Yes. Yeah. It's like in Curly Sue, when they teach Curly Sue how to spell a certain tricky word. So it looks like she's going to school and stuff. Oh, yeah.

And Jim Ballush, she's doing his job as a dad rather than just going around and doing scams to get money out of people. And then someone asks her a simple word and she can't spell cat. And they say, oh, games up, mate. It's like that. It's just like Curly Sue. Maybe is Curly Sue a retelling of this story? I think so. Yeah. Let's see if there's more, because I haven't seen Curly Sue. You haven't seen Curly Sue. So let's see if there's more, uh, there's more comparisons. Jeez, you are not very cultured. I'm really not. I, but to be fair, the first 20 years of my life was in solitary confinement. Fair enough.

So I'm catching up. Was someone cutting your hair into your nails? Well, I don't know, but sometimes I'd sleep for, I'd feel very sleepy, and I'd wake up on fresh hay. And you, thank you order. The DVD collection you had there didn't include Kelly Sue? No. No, no, I just had friends.

The box had friends. Oh, God. Sad. Anyway, so they're getting a bit more of his story. The authorities, they couldn't really justify houses stay in prison. multiple visitors that he'd had viewed him as a bit of a lost youth. He wasn't a dangerous vagrant as they initially thought he might be. So Hauser was placed into the care of 28-year-old teacher Friedrich Dauma.

The city of Nuremberg basically adopted him. Citizens donated money to help with his care and education. And under Dalma's care and tutelage, Casper Hauser began to thrive. The mayor had been correct. He was a very fast learner. Rapidly he improved in speaking, reading, writing, arithmetic, chess, piano, drawing and watercolour painting. Oh my God, this guy's good at everything.

He's really like, well, you know, I'm saying he's improved. When you're starting from nothing, improving doesn't mean you're a master. Right. His first go at chess, he flipped the board over. And the second time, the second time he only ate some of the pawns. Yeah, he's getting a lot better. He's getting a lot better. Probably because he learnt the hard way that pooping their mouth is very painful.

Poopin of porn is hard. Pooke in a porn. Yeah, pooping of porn is not as bad as bad. Pooping the king and queen, though. Oh, no. Poopin of bishop. Too many edges on that thing. Oh, the rook.

The rook might be the worst one to poop at all. No, it's the knife. It's got to be the one. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's stuck that horse head. He's stuck in there. That's hooked around.

Oh, God. What do we buy a metal set? Oh, God. Why did we buy such a big set? Oversized and metal. What were we thinking? I thought it looked at a metal. nice decoratively. I didn't think about this.

They look good in the garden. It's a garden size one. I had to move it with both my arms. I got hungry. Now I've got a puppet. I forgot to chew. It's my whole insides now. It's said my throat and in my butt.

It's somehow, it's the whole way down. My whole digestive system is porn. It's poking out of my mouth. It's also poking out at the other side. I'm a porn shish kebab. Really? Sometimes, do you ever have moments where you're like, look, I'm having fun, but who's listening to this? Who's this for? Imagine this is somebody's first episode. It will be.

It must be. Will they still be listening? Let us know. Yeah. Are they like, are they always this insufferable? Yes, but you get used to us. And you'll find us somewhat endearing in time. Yes. Normal takes three to four episodes. Yeah. Please. At a minimum. I say some want to.

told. Anecdotly. I hated you the first two and a half of it was, but then something clicked. I got Stockholm syndrome and now I'm here for life. Now I'm a Patreon. Anyway, okay, so yeah, he's learning, he's thriving. Eckhart Balmer has written a big sort of piece about Casper, so I'm going to refer to him a little bit.

And I reckon maybe it was written in German first and then translated. I'm not 100% sure because sometimes the phrasing, I'm like, what? But you'll see. So Eckhart writes, this fact leads to difficult questions. Can a person who has been robbed of all socialisation for a long period of time learn all of this at such a tempo? If yes, is one dealing with a highly gifted individual?

Or is something like this not possible? So that, consequently, there must be something fraudulent or deceptive at hand. Maybe you're pretending you don't know or anything. Exactly. Like if you have really lived 15, 16 years, in a dark cell with no other. socialisation, of course you'd be capable of like learning new things, but at this rate. And at this stage of your brain's already like, you know, pretty developed. Yeah, that's right.

So we're starting to think he's younger than, he's just big for his age. I don't know. Or lying for his age. Lying for his age. Some kids, they lie at a, you know, some five-year-olds lie at a grade six level. Yes. You know? And it's just, you know, it's down to the.

individual. Yeah. And that's why we do standardised testing. Yeah. To see where kids are lying. The bigger of the liar, you know, you'll send them off to drama. Correct. Yeah.

Where they can utilize these skills. Professional liars. Or politics. Boom! Woo! That's the bad boy, uh, siren go again. Sorry. Go again, sorry.

Nothing badder. Yeah. The bad boy siren going off. He's got him. He's got him. Because you do your own siren? Wait, no one have to know that. I found this very interesting from Eckhart-Bomer again,

which I didn't really see much about in other resources. So it says, Dorma, Doma, the teacher, studied additional unusual phenomena, such as Casperhaus's sense perceptions. Sense perceptions. In the case of all his senses, his perception is heightened to such a degree

that he is soon seen as a miracle child. He's able to read in the dark, can even distinguish colors in the dark. Oh. From a distance of a hundred steps, he can distinguish a raspberry from a blackberry. Okay. Whereas one's usual sight would just be able to see the bush. So what kind of animals can see things like that?

Oh, you're thinking animal. A cat's good? It's got to be someone who's nocturnal or whatever. He's... Fox, can foxes do that? Fox, yeah. Good eyes in the dark. I'm cunning too.

Yeah, because dogs don't have good eyes. Is that right? No, they're pretty good eyes. Not for colours. Not for colours. Probably see better at night than we can, but then again, my dog is a bit of an idiot, though. Right. Maybe he's an hour?

They rely on, like, hearing and smell a lot more. Maybe it's an hour. Well, maybe he's just smelling the difference between the berries. Oh, and saying it's time. Yeah. All right, well, there's more, actually, and it's about smell. Okay. Is olfactory smell?

Yes. No? Yes. His olfactory perception is also so sensitive that he can barely walk. through a cemetery because of the odour of corpses. Gross. In addition, he can feel metals, as in feel as in quotations there. And without seeing them, can distinguish gold, brass, copper, silver and lead based on what they emit.

He also was once even able to feel, from a few steps away, a diamond that was wrapped in paper. None of that makes much sense. And I, again, didn't see many other people writing about that. But that's not an earthly being. That's not an animal. That's an alien. Yeah. Right.

There's some sort of interdimensional space traveler. Yeah. Yeah. I think that might be right. No spoilers. Okay. But we're on the right track. I think you're out on the right track.

We're sniffing it out, aren't we? Yeah. Like a course. There's a diamond in this room. Yeah, I love being able to distinguish metal without seeing it. If you just go cover up and you go, I reckon you're wearing gold. Oh my God, I am. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe. But if, or maybe. Maybe he's just like one of those great readers of people. He's like, yeah, that's a, she's a rose gold top. Yeah, he's a white gold top. How'd you know? Yeah. And you say, felt it.

Felt it. But really, it's just doing colour analysis of like your palate. Yes. What's going to look best on you? Oh, you're not rose gold? You should be. Yeah. Yeah.

Time to change, babe. Time to change. So there's something interesting and special about this kid, but where the hell did he come from? What the heck? And being able to see colors in the dark is. wild yeah a bit strange huh but then

something really bizarre and quite frankly frightening happened on the 17th of October 1829 Hauser was found in the cellar of Dahmer's house bleeding from a wound to his forehead

oh he was alive and conscious and when asked what happened he explained that he'd been sitting in the outhouse it's pretty funny when a hooded man attacked him the man had said you still have to die before you leave the city of Nuremberg

You still have to die Before you leave Yeah Well I won't leave mate I'm fine Houser ran into the house Then downstairs And climbed through a trap door

To the cellar Casper said that he recognised The voice of his attacker He said it was the same man Who had brought him to Nuremberg The year prior What the heck is going on? What is this

Isn't that strange And the wound is from the man too Yeah he's like he cut him Oh my gosh So alarmed Sorry, AJ. Alarmed officials called for a police escort and transferred Hauser to the care of Johann Beberbach,

a municipal authority. Give Ma Biberback, Biberback, Biber back, Biber back. Give Mar Justin Biber back, Biber back. News of the attack spread quickly around the town with polarising views. Houser had recently quarreled with Dalma who had accused him of lying. So skeptics believed that Hauser had deliberately cut himself with a razor

left it in his room on the first floor before hiding it in the cellar to avoid further reprimand from Dalma. Oh, he wanted to get out of the house or the guy looking after, the teacher looking after him. I don't know if he wanted to get out of the house or if he just wanted, yeah, I'm not sure. I love house. This is what skeptics are saying.

I do love when skeptics have a wild theory. Yeah. It's like, wait, that doesn't sound that skeptical. Yeah. It sounds like you've got the crazier theory here. Yeah, yeah. You're like, you jump into conclusions. Now allow me to jump to my even wild.

A lot of conclusion. Okay, Mulder. But others kind of felt like this attack supported other rumors that had been floating around in recent months. Oh? So, rumors had started circling in the months prior that Casper Houser was, in fact, royalty. What? Yeah, we could have had a multiple choice out and I wouldn't have picked royalty. No.

That's incredible. Unless you're saying, like, a Martian royalty. Yeah, I think it's going to be like, there's rumors that he's undead or something. Yeah. Loyalty. Okay. So a bit of backstory, and there's a lot of names here. Charles, Grand Duke of Baden and Stephanie de Boisne, the adopted daughter of Napoleon Bonaparte.

I really think you're making my German sound pretty good all of the sun. That was French. Oh, there you go. There you go. Exactly. Proving my point. Yeah, no, that was clearly French now as I think back to it. But you understand what I'm saying, if you thought. If he thought that was German, that would sound like bad German. But that was really good friend.

I thought I had you. I thought I had you. She was the adopted daughter of Napoleon. They had a baby on the 29th of September 1812. Sadly, the baby prince passed away only a few weeks later. And when Charles died in 1818, he had no sons to succeed him. Oh, and he wanted to bring my baby back, baby. I don't know what is that?

I think of Mike Myers does it in an... And it's like a reference to something. Baby back ribs. Yeah. Right. They had an ad? I don't know. Ribs had an ad?

Imagine that. What an economy they've got over there. Everything can have an ad. Even ribs. It's crazy. Right. Sometimes we'll just have an ad that's like, hey, everyone, eat avocado. Oh, that is true.

Who paid for that? Yeah, big avocado. Have an avidavar. Have an avocado. Today. Have an avocado today. Mm-hmm. And they'll be like, everyone.

Eat an avocado today. An entire one? Yeah. That's quite a bit of avocado. What paid for this ad? Banana na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. Yeah, that's what. Make those bodies sing.

Make those bodies sing. That's nice. Banana ad. For people that don't know. Then, of course, there's huge lamb industry ads every year. Yeah, there's lamb. Get some pork on your fork. Get some pork on your fork.

A classic. Imagine if Mike Myers was Australian. Oh, God. The reference is Austin Pals would have had. That bass. We'll be singing. . Bada, na, na, nah, nah.

You have a lot of fun. So what was happening? What was happening? Oh, you want us to recap? Yeah. So, we're now starting to think that this kid might be French royalty, a missing son, because the king lost all his sons, they all died, but maybe one of them slipped away in the night. It was kidnapped.

So is Napoleon's grandson, potentially. Yeah, and so, like, there's a grand duke of, of, uh, of Baden, that's German. Oh, okay. I could have told you the French of it. Rensuke of a badduna. Pretty sure. Grange J.

But if it's German, it's more like, Grand juke of Bada. More like that. Because this is the time where like Germany's not unified, there's all these different kingdoms of. Exactly. It's kings up the wazoo over there. And Napoleon had adopted Stephanie,

I think as an adult, basically as like a land grab. As in if she's going to marry this German guy, well then if she's my daughter, then that also means that's kind of a unity of that family, of that land. I've got a dad. I'm good. I've got a mom. They're great.

You're my daughter now. You're my daughter. My little baby girl. Oh, my daughter. I'm so fast little baby girl. So I'll give you away the wedding thing. I just met you last week, my little baby girl. Dad's like, what the fuck?

This is crazy. I'm her dad. I'm a dad. So Charles and Stephanie had a baby. The baby passed away. When Charles died, he had no sons. So his successor was his uncle, Louis I, who was then succeeded in 1830 by Louis' half-brother, Leopold. It's very confusing.

Pass it up. The rumour was that Leopold's mother, Louise Caroline of Hoshberg, had been scheming to put her son on the throne in Baden, disguising herself as a ghost. The so-called white lady. Oh, or Caspalada. Caspalada. She snuck into the nursery of the infant prince, kidnapped him and replaced him with a dying baby. Oh, wow.

The infant prince was then incarcerated for 16 years until he emerged as Hauser in Nuremberg in 1828. And this is what the skeptics are suggesting. Yeah. This is like sort of man in the iron mask stuff. Yeah. Yeah, could it be that this mysterious and perplexing young man is in fact a prince?

Whoa. And the right air to the throne. Exactly. Not his evil, potentially evil uncles. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it feels weird. Don't you reckon it feels weird to pass a throne upwards to an uncle?

Although then, again, air is normally, you know, air's above you. Ah. So maybe it makes more sense to pass the air should be above. Let's think about this now as well. There is air above us, but there's air down here too. Oh my God. That is. And there's also air across from us.

Yeah. You could part, your air could be anywhere. Yep. Oh my God. I probably left some air at the house where I left today. Oh my gosh. Could Goose be your air? Your dog?

You have a dog air? Probably. Pretty thick air that dog creates. Jesus Christ. I don't want, Jesus always. He's got a musk. Hey, can clear a room, that's for sure. Gets that from his mother, but I do it with my personality.

He does it with farts. So, yeah, that's one. theory that's been going around a little bit and people are starting to like try and do a bit of research trying to figure out if this kid could in fact be a prince. Oh wow, I love this. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. I mean, it's very confusing. So the three options at this moment are he's being stalked by that man that sort of let him out on the street instead of going to kill you. But why? Why let him loose if you're then going to kill him? Yeah, he's cut himself potentially to get away or to get some sort of attention or

something. Or he's the long loss royal heir. And that would have always. Two of those could be true at the same time. Oh my gosh. And he's, if he is, and yeah, long-lost French air, makes sense that he doesn't know a lot of German. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? You're looking at him really like that doesn't make any sense.

But he's also long-lost French air, but also a long-lost German air. He's got blood on both kingdoms. Right. But is it the same German air as Nuremberg? Answer me of that. Different air. Different air. Different air.

Different air, different dialect. I think what I'm saying makes a lot of sense. Yep. There is a first time for everything. Age, I edited it out if he doesn't. So they've sent him off to somebody else's home for safety because he was obviously attacked at this. Yeah.

Just outside this other house. Just cut on the head. At the outhouse, quite literally. He's just sitting there, having a good time. Honestly, there should be some sort of courage if you're going to attack. So when you can't have it on the toilet. No. Come on.

If you've gone to the toilet, that's Bali. That is out of balance. That's the safe zone. Is Bali a universal thing? Yeah. So when you're playing Chacey, you're TIGI. Yep. You could declare something.

Oh, no, the library steps Bali. Can't tag me here. Can't tag me there. Yeah. Which comes from Palais. Did you know that? Barley comes from Palais. Yeah.

I did not know that. And which, obviously, we all learnt its origins in Pirates of the Caribbean. Whoa. And is, um... Can't get me. Calais. Can't tick the butcher back? Is that relevant here?

Yeah. Or can't tag the ball back. Yeah. Can't tick the butcher back doesn't make any sense to me. Who's the butcher? The one who, if I tag you? Yes, you're the butcher. Yeah, and you can't get you. You can't take the butcher back.

Yeah, that does make sense, but I don't know why you're the butcher. No, neither. What about the ball back? The Pirates of the Carabane didn't cover that. Can't take the ball back. No, I don't know what that means. Was that in, but that's when you were playing, what was the ball version of Tiggie? Oh, yeah.

Is it, I don't know, does it have a name? It had a name. Brandy. Brandy. Brandy. Thank you. Well done. I miss playing games.

You're making that up to, I know the answer to that. You know what I miss? Four square. Four square's a great game. Fuck, I miss four square. Should we paying a few squares at the front? Yes. Yeah, but...

No one has to be done. I'm so sure Auntie Donny did a sketch battle. I'm sure they'd be up for playing four square with us. Great. Oh, I can just call up Kevin Rudd. Okay. Prime Minister? Ex-prime minister.

G'day. Dave Warnock here. We got a ball, we got a court. You're ready to go? He's just been there in five. Yeah. I feel like everything we'd have said for any, a lot of overseas people, what are you talking? Oh, baffling.

Completely baffling, yes, absolutely. But also, there's a band playing downstairs if that's bleeding through these New South Wales, which would also sound like gibberish, probably to a lot of international listeners. Yeah, they're like, what is a band? If they're recording a video, they're downstairs. These New South Wales is a confusing name. What does that mean? Well, get this.

The whales are spelled like the bloody mammal. I mean, you know what I mean? It's crazy. Can't make head nor tail of it. So he's off staying with Johann Bieberbach. Don't do it again. And he's there for about six months. Before the next incident occurred.

Oh my gosh. He had once again been reprimanded for lying. And Mrs. Bieberback commented on houses horrendous mendacity lying. Oh, lying. Great word. An art of dissimulation deceit and called him full of vanity and spite. But on the 3rd of April 18th... She's speaking to a boy who's just started recently learning to speak.

I don't know. What are you telling to me? I don't understand. I have to Google these words. I don't have dissimulation. It's incredible. No idea. But also funny because they've been translated already.

Why are they translating him into words that then you have to translate for English speakers? Yeah. I'm not sure if she's saying that directly to him or if that's been like, if she's written that something. somewhere, but anyway, she's not a fan. And on April 3, 1830, a pistol shot went off in Houses' room in the Beberback House. Oh, no. The family hurriedly went to his room to find him unconscious and bleeding from a head wound.

When he quickly came to, he explained that he'd climbed on a chair to get some books from a shelf. The chair had fallen and he'd reached to grab something to stop his fall. By mistake, he grabbed a pistol hanging on the wall, which then discharged and wounded him. And again, people were skeptical about this. That's a wild tale, but it's also funny to describe it as by mistake. Like, he's flailing around trying to grow up, no, not that one. Like, come on, man, give yourself a break. Also, put the blow safety on.

Yeah. You know what I mean? A loaded weapon on the wall. A loaded weapon on the wall. Silly. He grabbed it, figure on the trigger, I guess. Pointed at himself. Jeez, what a mistake.

That's really unlucky. Very unlucky, yeah, very unfortunate. But, you know, accidents happen. Yeah. Hey, and we all make mistakes. Some mistakes that make us. Wow. Is that an idiom?

I didn't thought of that. It's not. It's true, though. So, again, people were skeptical about his story, not you two, obviously. But others were. Yeah, so you just grabs the first thing. When you're falling off a ladder or something, you're panicking, you grab whatever. Yeah.

The gun goes off. You don't have time to think, do I steady myself on that wall or on that gun? You don't have time to think. Things ricochet. Do we think this guy's like, you know, one of those superheroes that can slow everything down and make decisions in a split second? Like, grow up. Grow up. It's instinct.

Yes. The boy is like possibly an alien. Yeah. He doesn't know what's what. He doesn't know what's what. He maybe never saw a wall before this week or however long he's been there. A year. A year.

18 months. 18 months. He's never seen a wall in that time. I mean, we do know that he probably lived in a small cell, which was all wall. Yeah. For all intents and purposes. But that wasn't lit up though. There was a blank walls.

Yeah, that's right. I know what you had blank walls. Yeah. They went full of loaded walls. weapons, we assume. Gosh. Gosh. That'd be dangerous.

Yeah. Jeez, Louise. But skeptics, you know, for instance, they're saying like the wound seemed quite super, it was too superficial to have been from a gunshot. Oh. As Eckhart Bomber writes. And on the other hand, Caspar Hauser received such attentiveness and compassion during this time that he is called the child of Europe.

And this title stays with him. He's basically like, he's made news as well around Germany, but also that news has spread to, you know, the UK and even apparently to the US. Oh, just like, who is this a serious boy? Exactly. So this garners him more attention again. So Hauser has outstayed his welcome once again and was transferred to the home of Baron von Tucker in May of 1830.

I believe he stayed there for a little over a year, and the Baron, like every other host, later complained of Hauser's exorbitant vanity and lies. This is a kid who, like, I imagine being called Vane, when you've only just known mirrors for a year and a half. Of course you're going to be looking at it. Yeah, you'd be obsessed. If you saw yourself for the first time ever,

you'd be like, what the hell is that? Oh, this kid is so vain. Always look at himself in the mirror. It's a new technology to him. It's blown his mind. That's like, Jess, imagine you'd never seen one before, and then I went, check out this switch. Oh, switch.

I thought it was a mirror. There's little farm games on it. What would you do? Would you like just never look at it again? These kids are obsessed with this switch. I'd probably be like, ugh. I'd probably be like, ugh. I'd probably bury it in the backyard and say, no thanks.

Yeah, piss on it. Get that out of here. Because you're not vain. I'm not vain like that. Okay, well... That was a bad example on your part, Matt. You've won me over. I think this kid's vain.

In late 1831, a British nobleman named Lord Stanhope took an interest in Hauser and asks Mayor Binder if he can meet the child of Europe, the child of Europe. That's a great name. The town is overjoyed to have possibly found in him a deep-pocketed benefactor for how Everyone hates this kid so much. They want someone to take them off their hands. And also, like, this is a wealthy lord. They're like, great, because we've been, like, raising funds for this kid.

Yeah. And we're not wealthy people. Yeah, it's boring now. If you would like to fund, you know, his vanity, that would be great. So Stanhope and Howser met and Stanhope won Casper over with gifts. Silk, money and a clock. Pretty cool. That's great.

As well as many promises. he had his portrait painted and sort of plants the idea in Casper's head that there's this expectation of potentially being of noble birth Why does he need to win him over? Yeah, I don't know He's been kicked out He's the only one who wants that anything to do with him

Yeah He's like, oh, what's in it for me? Yeah, oh, clock. A clock, okay, I'm listening, TikTok, what else we got? Now he's like, all right, now I know that time's passing. You better hurry up, mate. What else are you going? Make me not.

Fuck, shouldn't have taught him about the concept of time. They talk extensively, the Lord trying to figure out where this boy's come from. Hauser seems to recall a few words in Hungarian, and Stanhope takes this and runs with it. He takes Hauser on two separate trips to Hungary, but was deflated when Hauser didn't recognize any buildings or monuments, which is absurd because he said he was kept in a dungeon his whole life. Yeah. You could drop me in parts of Melbourne and I'd be like, where am I? I don't know. But in a dungeon in Melbourne, you're like, oh, this is my dungeon. It's home.

I find that so strange to be like, oh, okay, you might know a Hungarian word or two. Well, let's go. Oh, you don't recognize any of these monuments? What about this salami? Yeah. Have it never been able on that? You must be. You must be lying.

Ringing over those is slabby. We'll try it with a mild. Then we'll try it with the hot. Whatever about. And then? Have it over. I love to travel with you. Yeah.

Stabber is Slavic. Travel to Slavic. Obviously, I was going to say, I just called Dave Dad. Yeah. Obviously, Dave's eating salami for three. You're having the vagan. Salami. I'm having the proper stuff. And I'm next door getting a magnet. Yeah, that's true. I mean, if we're ever in Hungary, you know, and a piece of Hungarian salami fell on my mouth. They'll have to slap you across the face. I'd have a lick. And then I'd let Dave finish you.

I'd slap you across the face with a Hungarian salami. Oh, thank you. And everyone knows, that's not cheating. That's not cheating vegetarianism if you get a If you take a little nibble As you're being slapped with the salami That's fine Yeah if you buy the air Soft for France The vegan cops come

So these two failed trips to Hungary Had left Stanhope feeling a little bit doubtful of Haasers' credibility Which is not entirely fair Lord Stanhope manages to drive More and more of a wedge between Caspar Hauser And his important Nuremberg benefactors Especially von Tucker, Mayor Binder

And the teacher Dalma In November of 1831, Von Tucker dares to confront Stanhope. He demands that the Lord either cease his influence or take over total responsibility for the foundling. All right. If you're going to hang out with him a lot, is your problem. Yeah, because we're still raising funds over here. If you're giving him all these promises and you're taking financial responsibility for his care, then take full financial responsibility. If you're going to take him on overseas trip, trips, you also got to have him during the week.

It's not fair that you get to do all the fun stuff and we're doing all the parenting during the week. It's not fair. Okay? Okay. You come in, you swan in, he thinks, oh, Disneyland, great. And then it's back to us and we're telling him we go to school. And we're making him eat broccoli. I'm the bad guy. Yeah, suddenly we're the bad guy. Okay. I'm not a bad guy, I'm his mother. I'm a mere binder. I'm mer binder. And I love that little more.

So the Lord, he does the latter. He is officially designated as Casper's foster father, and he immediately takes him away from Nuremberg to Anzbach. Oh, good. This was a strategic move because a man in Arnsbuck by the name of Furious, had been doing some research into Haasers' origin, and Stanhope wanted to be close by to see if he could find out any info, sort of as Furibach continued researching. So he's kind of like, let's go there.

This guy's looking into the origins. Oh, okay, right. He might figure it out. Hauser was placed under the tutelage of another teacher, this one called Johann Meyer. Maya is a very strict teacher and was described as a pedantic man who disliked Hauser's excuses and apparent lies. But Casper's changing, having spent so much time learning from his German teachers, Um, this is a quote.

This Casper, now living in Ansbach, is by far no longer the wolf child that he was once taken for. Many of his extraordinary capacities have diminished over time. Step by step, he is being assimilated into society. Oh, no, he can't see the raspberry from 100 feet or whatever anymore. No. And he can't sense metal. He can't sense metal anymore.

Oh. And he can even spend time in a cemetery. It's disgusting. So sad. During the daytime, he works for the court as a copy of a. records and documents. In the evenings, he's often guest of the district president von Stikina, who invites him to go dancing, and Caspar Hauser likes to dance. Oh, wow. He gets religious lessons from a local pastor, and von Furibach continues to study Hauser and

research his origins, even writing a book about him, which is published in 1832, called Caspar Hauser, an example of a crime against the soul. That translation is according to Google Translate, so. Right. If someone write a book about me and it was called that, I'd probably be offended. Crime against the soul? I'm a crime against the soul. What did that Berliner barista say about Google Translate?

You know, we cannot be trusting Google Translate as I speak impeccable English to you. But I'm very apologetic about it and I'm embarrassed by my poor English skills. That's good. That's good German. Thank you. Guy speaking English stuff from you. I always do that. They're like, oh, my English is not as sufficient.

as I would like it to be. I've only been speaking it my entire life, and I speak eight other languages, and English is maybe not the one I am the most confident in. You're just like, I can barely say hello in any other language. You're incredible. But we are also assuming that they're the words they're trying to say. Maybe they're trying to say something totally different.

Yeah. You know, we don't know. Right. True. Could be asking for directions to see friends around that night. I will do my best to give you adequate directions to the destination of your train. choosing soul.

Very good stuff from you, Papa. If you headed northwards along this street here, they're incredible. This strausser. This strouser. My apologies. My apologies. My apologies. I mean a road or straight or a boulevard.

A carriageware for your motor vehicle. I'm sorry, a car. I'm like, yeah, so I'm, you know, I will do my best to communicate with you in this language that I'm not proficient in. And you're like, shut, that's so good. Anyway, so, yeah, von von Furibach has written, give me Bonn, Furibach, Furibach, Furibac, Fearabek. You know what? He resisted for a long time. So, yeah, you can have a, you can have a funeral back.

There's a lot of Bach. And I'm like, hmm. You've done really well and I'm very proud of you. So von Furibuck, the one who wrote the book, he died in May of 1833, and Hauser mourned the loss of this man who'd been researching his origin. All right. However, some authors point out that von Furibuck had lost faith in Hauser by the end of his life. He wrote a note saying, Casper Hauser is a smart scheming codger, a rogue, a good for nothing that ought to be killed.

Oh, wow. That really got going. Big escalations. Yeah, he's a rogue. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a bit of trouble. Kill him. Full on.

Is there any suspicion in his own death? The guy researching him saying he's a bit of a fraudster suddenly dies, not long after the book is published. I feel like actually I did read something about his death being iffy. Bit suss. But it wasn't brought up a lot in many resources. There were some people who were skeptical about it. There were people that were skeptical. But also, Von Furibach was likely already quite ill when he wrote that.

And most authors are fairly sure he never shared that opinion with how. Hauser. So I don't think Howser knew that von Furback was like, this guy's a fucking rogue. Let's kill him. Let's kill him. It's amazing. If he is a rogue, like, he's a chancer and all that sort of stuff. He was onto that from a very young age, unless this old guy is, like, still coaching him somehow.

Yeah, I don't know what the hell's going on. The old fella. Remember the old fella, Dave? The one who said, he needs to die before he leaves the city, which is so hard to do. That's very confusing. Yeah. Before. Before. Before I leave the city. city. So I'll die and then leave. I guess that's when he becomes cast with the ghost and then he can

leave and go to, you know, a house in Midwest. I think it's in San Francisco. I think so. Well, I'm just imagining the house and it gives me San Francisco lives. I'm going to Google. But I'm picturing them driving through the country in the movie with, um, what's her name? And the guy. And Bill Pullman, but also. Okay, they're in Maine. Maine. Oh, that's the opposite side. But, But it's also, it's, you know, it's the same and opposite. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Sort of probably around the same line of latitude.

I think I just, you know, just because we have brought up Casper the ghost so many times, I do just want to also say that for many millennials, we all had a pretty big crush on Casper. Okay, just want to say that, Devin Sawyer. Devin Sawyer, that's right. Really hot. And who was the girl? Christina Richie. Christina Richie.

Babe. Babe. Dave and Sawyer, holy shit. Like when Casper becomes real, spoilers. Wouldn't mind sharing a dance and a little smooch with that boy, let me tell you. Yeah, at the time. At the time when I was age appropriate. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't remember that he became a real boy. Oh, that might be a spoiler then. Sorry about that. I know. It's a 30-year-old movie, Dave. Pull your head out of your ass, Dave. I think I saw it at the time, but not since and I've forgotten. Yeah, it becomes Devin Sawyer.

Look forward to revisiting. Just like a temporary thing. All the other ghosts have like some physical qualities of who they are as real people. Like when Bill Pullman becomes a ghost for a bit. Oh, it looks like Bill Pullman. But Casper's a blobhead. Should we redo Casper? A little far-fitched.

Fitched. Far-fitched. But, and put in Lewis Pullman. Oh, yeah, great. Bill Pullman's son. I think that's also a mega bay. Yeah. I wonder if he's going to get a crack on Space Balls too.

Well. Well, imagine. Imagine. This sounds personal. Just loves nepotism sometimes. I love nepotism. Anyway, okay. So, Von Furibach, everybody who meets this kid spends quite a bit of time with him ends up kind of hating him.

And thinking that he's full of shit. Like, it sounds like he lies all the time. Yeah, yeah. They're all like, this, he, something's not right here. This is a lying little vain piece of shit. But you would be like, something's not right. I love him. I love, I love whoever called him a chancer.

I think that's a fun. He's an absolute chancer. I don't know if anyone did. I think someone did. That was you, Matt. And I loved, I thought whoever did it was fantastic. I thought that was very clever and witty and interesting. And sorry, I don't, I'm not that proficient.

Your German person says proficient. I just like, I just can't think of like, I'm trying to think of big words because they always end up using bigger words than I can in my vocabulary. So I just use proficient a few times. So if it sounds like I'm being mandatious, but I... You sound like Ellen Rickman trying to speak German. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've got a... It's in a throat for you, German, yeah. Thank you.

And so... Sorry, sorry, but my... My comprehension of English is, you know, pretty good, but I do not get much opportunity to practice. So I can understand what our... what you're saying to me, but it is not, not hard to say, one of my main strengths and foretales to be able to discuss things with you on a, how do you say? Yeah, that's her of that noise.

Wah. So, still hoping that Stanhope would take him to England, because there was sort of this promise of like, I'll take it a big smoke. Oh, okay. but we'll just do a bit of research about who you are first of all. Yeah, we'll go to England. So he's still hoping that will happen. Hauser was,

he was dissatisfied with his life in Arnsbach. And while Stanhope was still providing funds for Hauser's care and education, he'd left Arnsbach and was planning to visit for Christmas of 1833. And just before Christmas on the 9th of December, Hauser and his teacher slash caregiver, Maya, had a pretty serious argument. They had a big fight. Stanhope's upcoming visit was stressing Meyer out

because he too was losing faith in Hauser and his credibility, and he didn't know how he was going to face Stanhope. Oh, I'm supposed to be teaching this boy. I'm supposed to be teaching this boy, and you're funding him, but we're not sure about him. And what credibility exactly? Because he's never claimed to be anything, has he? Well, he's whole story. Right.

Yeah, okay. But being locked up for all those years. Like, okay. I'm being attacked on the head of the razor. Right. We're not sure about your credibility, whether or not you are locked in a room. Yeah. But it's not like, we're not sure if you're actually a royal, because he never said that.

No, I don't think. I don't think that's something he's sort of, how you say? Sorry. He wants to escape me. I do apologize. Yeah, I don't think he's claiming to be royalty or, like, being asked to be considered royalty or anything. So, no, it's not that. I think it's just maybe that sort of that thing before of like, well, if he's learning so quickly, is it how?

And if he's lying so much and so well, it's like, well, what are you hiding? I'm not sure. They're just not sure about him. Maybe they're just, he gives people the creeps. Okay. So, five days later, after this argument, on the 14th of December, Hauser came back to Meyer's house with a deep chest wound. Oh. He said that he'd been walking in Ansbach court garden when he was lured over by a stranger who was handing him a small violet-colored purse. As he reached for it, the stranger stabbed him. This is Casper being stabbed? Yes.

He does seem to get a lot of... Random attacks? Random attacks. Hmm. So what their son I think is that he's just attacking himself a bit. Which is... Yeah, interesting. Interesting.

Well, I think he's probably telling the truth, though. Yeah, I don't really understand why he would need to. He's taking it. Strangers just gone, stabby, stabby. Yes. Did he get the purple purse? No. Okay.

So he runs to escape, drops the purse, leaves the purse behind. Yep, yep, yep. Which he was very eager for authorities to find. He was like, go, you've got to find the purse. It's the one on man. And he's kind of, like, he's deteriorating a little bit. He's fading. He's like, go find the purse.

So, uh, when a policeman searched the court garden, he found a small violet purse containing a penciled note in mirrored writing. And it said, mirroring. Is it like, you hold up to mirror. You can. Yeah, it's like backwards. Oh, my God. And he, we know he likes mirrors. Yeah.

This kid is vain. Yes. So. And what does it say? What does it say? It says, Hauser will be able to tell you quite precisely how I look and from where I am. To save Hauser the effort,

I want to tell you myself from where I come. I come from the Bavarian border on the river. I will even tell you my name, M-L-O. It's not a name, those are initials. All right, not below. So it's still quite a cryptic note. Why are all these notes so cryptic? Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. The other one had mentioned the Bavarian border at the start of the episode. Yes. Gosh, who is this guy? Who is this? Who is it? Who's just randomly lured him over and attacked him? Yeah, and he didn't recognise the person as he's initial captor or anything. He sort of as a stranger had lured him over. Remember, he doesn't know what the captor looks like, but in the outhouse attack,

with the razor on the head or whatever, he recognised the voice. This time he didn't say he knew who it was. But the cap MLO said that he would. in the note. True, yeah. So. So he was going to save him the trouble. By cryptically.

I'll tell you who I am cryptically. MLO. MLO. I come from the Bavarian border. That'll narrow it down. On the river. How many people live there? Can't be many.

Who lives near a water source? Come on. Not many humans, that's for sure. Not what we're attracted to. That's not what we do to survive. Inconsistencies in houses account led to Anzbach Court of Inquiry. to suspect that he had stabbed himself and then invented a tale about being attacked.

Remember, the first attack when he was in the outhouse came after he'd had an argument with his then sort of caregiver. Yeah. Then, again, he's getting in trouble at the second household and the gun goes off. Yeah, because he grabbed him to him by accident. Now he's had a fight with the next caregiver and he's been stabbed while out in a walk.

You suggesting a pattern is emerging? No, I'm just pointing stuff out for you because I know you don't listen super well. Yeah, I understand. I understand your comprehension is not at the standard of an adult of your age. Yeah, which is such a shame as I, English is my first and ordinary language. What were you taught by someone, Jimmy? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was taught by the Sasser Baron-Cohen film Bruno, which I haven't seen but just the previews. So you were locked in a day. Dungeon for 16 years and the only video you had was the trailer for Bruna. Oh, yeah. So they're thinking he's stabbed himself. The note in the purse contained a spelling error and grammatical error, both of which were quite typical of Casper.

Oh, MLO's actually spelled MLP. It was difficult to write mirror writing. I'd find that hard to nail on the first go. That'd be hard. The note itself was also folded. into a specific sort of triangular form. Classic Casper. Yeah.

Really? Lutzerreling. Mrs. Meyer was like, that's how he always folded his letters. He's not sounding like a mastermind kind of kid, is he? No. Sounds like he's being framed up to me. Yep.

Forensic examiners agreed that Houser's chest wound might have been self-inflicted. Many authors believe that he had wounded himself again to revive public interest in his story and persuades Stanhope to take him to England. However, this time Houser, fatally injured himself by mistake. No, he stabbed himself.

That's right. Three days after the stabbing, Casper Hauser died from his injuries. Oh. Casper, of course, no. Is it kind of... It's getting worse. You've gone to Swedish chef.

Is it kind of like an infection type? It's like... Or the wound was too bad. Yeah. I'm not 100% sure. Because obviously back then, you can't muck around with stabbing yourself. No, he had three cracks at it too.

Dare I say, probably don't do it now. No, but like, you know, obviously back then, The smallest of scratches could get infected. Exactly. I don't think they had antibiotics. New. Yes. Yeah, Maricuri wasn't around yet.

No. Yeah. And they didn't know to just put pressure on the wound. They just, they're like, oh, let it bleed. That's right. They put leeches on it. Suck more air. More blood.

Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. It's bad blood. Get it out. All of it. We'll start again. Start again.

Oh, there's more. No, that's from the original one. I can tell. Don't worry about it. Oh, bugger. So he's dead. He's dead. three days later.

Did he die before leaving the city? Like that strange man said? Well, no, because he was buried in the city cemetery in Arnsbach. Oh, but then I said you've got to die before you leave Nuremberg, but he didn't, he left Nuremberg. Oh, maybe that's why he was killed. So he didn't die before he left. Yeah. Just like killed him as punishment.

Sorry, we forgot. It's a bit late. It's a bit too late, mate. Hang out, I've just got to do some maths. Yeah, so he was about. about 21. Oh, shit. When he died.

So this is from Wikipedia, that beautiful German website, Wikipedia. Wikipedia. Sorry, my reading is not so good of the, how to say, Wikipedia. Houser was buried in the city cemetery in Arnsbach. His headstone reads in Latin. Here lies Casper Hauser, riddle of his time. His birth was unknown, his death mysterious, 1833. Oh, my gosh.

Imagine that on a headstone. Isn't that kind of? Unknown and mysterious. Haunting and beautiful. Yeah, if you saw that walking, he'd be like, who is this guy? Many years later, a monument to Hauser was later erected in the court garden, which reads, Here Lies a Mysterious One who was killed in a mysterious manner. Wow.

Jess, is this a mystery episode? Yeah. Oh, my God. In a way, yes, yes. But you think that he was just full of shit kid? Do we know what was his story? It's almost like, that's the point of what we're doing. is to find out.

You can't end it there. Just please keep reading. Just please. Well, I guess it's time for everyone's favorite section of the show. So after Hauser's death, Stanhope published a book in which he presented all known evidence against Hauser, taking it as his duty openly to confess that I have been deceived. So he turned on his story as well and was like, he was full of shit. Or one of his many, many adoptees. Some of Hauser's followers believed that Stanhope had ulterior motives.

befriending him and had connections to the house of Baden, this family that they think maybe he was from. However, historians defend Stanhope as a philanthropist, a pious man and a seeker of truth. Right. But I don't think that's why. He thought heard the rumor this kid could be royalty. I'll adopt him so. So I can get in with this family. Oh, I don't think so. Or I represent this family in some way. Yeah. That's what people were possibly saying about historians are now saying. They're like, no, I don't think so. He's just a good guy who wanted to look after a kid. And he was sort of like, that's an interesting kind of story. This kid's just appeared out and over. what's going on here?

Yeah. He was probably rich and bored and was like, I'll see. So the case of Casper Hauser continues to be researched and argued. Conflicting information and opinions still get thrown around today. A physician present at Hauser's autopsy, Dr. Friedrich Wilhelm Heidenrich, claimed that his brain was notable for its small cortical size and its few non-distinct cortical giery. All of this makes complete sense to all of us. Indicative to some that he suffered from cordial size.

portical atrophy, so loss of brain tissue. But Hydenrick may have been influenced by his phrenological ideas. Phrenology is a pseudoscience that involves the measurement of bumps on the skull to predict mental traits. Right. A different doctor, Dr. Albert, who actually conducted the autopsy and wrote the official report, found no anomalies in Hauser's brain. It was like, nope, normal brain. Okay.

And remember how he turned up in Yuremberg with two letters? Yes. Writing analysts in later years concluded that the same. person wrote both letters. His mother. The line from the letter, he writes my handwriting exactly as I do, led them to assume that Hauser wrote both letters. I don't know where that line would have come from because the first, the letter from

the mother was when he was a baby. So how could he write? It's very confusing. But maybe the second letter. Maybe, yeah. From his supposed captor slash, you know, adopted father or whatever who was mysterious. That is a good way of saying why the handwriting that he's handing over is the exact same as his. Oh, he flames.

The reason we have the same handwriting is I taught him to write exactly like me. So I've explained that. Nothing weird about that? No question. It's great. He didn't write it. I did. Eckhart Bowmer writes,

for it is seen that the handwriting on the two missives is that of one and the same person. And the ink of the two does not evidence a different of 16 years. So it's not like one's faded. They're written on the same day. They're written the same day. Indeed, the paper of the presumed older writing sample had a watermark of a paper mill that did not yet exist in 1812. And the cavalry school in Nuremberg, to which the labourer was to bring the 16-year-old, was not yet stationed there in 1812. Thus, the mother could not have written about it.

Okay, there's a few clues here. So those letters were not written in the past. Yeah. Well, I guess they were. Just, you know, recent history. It's not quite that. Yeah. I don't really. Who gives a shit this kid. He's doing what he could to get by.

Yeah. Is that kind of the idea? He sort of made up some stories because he had no one else. And that's how he got around. Who knows? Who knows? A 2023 study indicated that Hauser had the markings of a cowpox vaccination to prevent smallpox when he showed up in Nuremberg. And these vaccinations had been mandatory in Bavaria since 1807. So he would have had to visit a vaccination site to get this shot.

like an adult would have had to take him, and this sort of discredits his claim to have grown up without any human contact. Right, but maybe whoever's looking after him just took the remedy, the vaccine to him in the dungeon. Yeah, they're like, well, it would have had to have been taken to it, but who knows? Yeah, that's right. But the letter thing is pretty hard to argue. And also, if that's been done to you when you're really little,

there's a chance you don't remember it, especially when it seems they were drugging him a bit by his story. Yeah. In 1970 a psychiatrist named Carl Leonhard stated that If he had been living since childhood under the conditions he describes He would not have developed beyond the condition of an idiot Indeed he would have not remained alive long His tale is so full of absurdities that it is astonishing

That it was ever believed and is even today still believed by many people Carl Carl That's really hard on it. That's really hard. So down, Carl. Yeah, chill out Carl. He goes on to Callhouser a pathological swindler

and suggest his behaviour indicated paranoid personality disorder. As for theories that Casper was actually the royal baby, many have written about the theories and presented evidence one way or the other. In his historical mysteries, Andrew Lang summarised the results. It is true that the Grand Duchess was too ill

to be permitted to see her dead baby in 1812, but the baby's father, grandmother and aunt, with the 10 court physicians and nurses and others, must have seen it in death, And it is too absurd to suppose on no authority that they were all parties to the white ladies plot. So it's sort of like, yeah, okay, the mum didn't see her dead baby, but lots of people did and probably would have known if it was swapped. Yeah. Thank you for saying it.

People show me pictures of their baby, and I'm like, cool. That's a baby. That's a baby. That right there, that's a baby. Definitely. Oh, it looks like you. It's got your eyes. Yeah.

You sound I look like a baby? I got baby eyes. Beautiful baby eyes. So DNA analysis has also been undertaken. In November of 96, the German magazine Der Spiegel reported an attempt to genetically match a blood sample from underwear thought to have been houses. Comparisons with descendants of the royal family proved that the blood examined could not have come from the hereditary prince of Baden.

Whoa, these underpants that might have been the skies didn't. It's 1996. So it's pretty early days for D.D.E. It's pretty early days for D.N. DNA science. Can we say that it's not a good sign if you've got blood in your underpants? I thought that too. And then one of the sources was like from, it was like blood from when he was stabbed and died. Like the blood got, because I was also like, you probably shouldn't be bleeding in your jocks. That's not good. You should see a doctor about that. In any way. But so DNA DNA science in 96 not amazing. But in 2024, a new study corroborated previous analysis,

once again ruling out the prince theory. So he was not a prince. Okay. Assuming those were his underpants and that was his blood on those underpants if they wear his underpants. And if they were, he's not a prince. Can they get it, can't they dig him up and figure it out though? That's, they've thought of that.

They haven't done it, but there's kind of like the, yeah, they've, I don't think they've done it. No. But they have said that's, that's the only other way to like get proper DNA. Dig him up. This was a reveal. but something Matt has realized is this is in fact a mystery episode because we don't know who he is or where he's actually come from.

There's a lot of cultural references. Casper Hauser may have only lived for 21 years, nearly 200 years ago, yet his name and story have continued to pop up in film, literature, music ever since. There's several non-fiction books that have been written about him. He's inspired fiction novels, graphic novels, plays, films. Werner Herzog had a film in 1974 called The Eustra. enigma of Caspar Hauser and a boy called Bruno played the part of Hauser was an untrained actor whose childhood was marked by physical abuse and stays in mental institutions and Herzog

remarked that he considers him similar to Hauser. Which is kind of a little interesting tidbit there. But that unsatisfying ending in so many ways is the mystery of who the bloody hell was Casper Hauser. We don't know. We don't know where he actually came from. I'd never heard of that. Do you get the feeling that that is a big, like a still famous story in Germany in particular? They would know this. Although the people who suggested it were mostly American and a New Zealander, so I don't really know. That's the tricky thing, too, is that most things that were written about him, because like you look at his, the Wikipedia page about it, for example, and nearly all of the resources are in German. Yes. So it was trickier to find

English sources because although I do an okay German accent I do not actually I've lost the accent I don't for you really channeling a bit of a good talk I thought thank you he features in an episode of Parks and Rec and he's very funny in it but yeah that's the story of Caspar Hauser Caspar Hauser isn't that wild wild tale wild tale Casper the Chance a ghost He's a chancellor I love the person who described him that way I'm just going to do a quick

Did you ever see a Cancer Chance No No Really At no stage Absolute chance

That was you And it was a great observation Yeah well yeah I can see how you'll say that It's a good observation but I humbly much disagree.

So I think that brings us everyone's favorite section of the show. Yeah. Maybe I'll even give that a beat for editing purposes. And that brings us everyone's favorite section in the show where we thank some of our fantastic supporters. If you want to be one of these supporters, go to pageon.com.com slash do you want pod. A bunch of different things you get involved in there.

There's four bonus episodes a month exclusive to the certain level and above. I think it might even be the Dreamboat Cooper level and above. You also get ad-free feed of these shows. You get to submit questions for Who Knewit Matt Stewart. You get to join the Facebook group. You get to be in things like the Hat Swap, which Sophie Tudor. I've so gunshot and saying her name because of Dave saying it wrong all the time. But I think that's right, isn't it, Dave?

That feels wrong to me, so yeah. That's how I have to think about it. Right. But yeah, I'm double bluffing myself now. And yeah, so I've sent a hat off over to someone in America. Wow. I don't know if they've got it yet or not. Exciting.

Wow. I'll just catch me up on just saying that. Anything else? Sounded sarcastic. It was genuine. Oh, and people get to vote on the topics. Yeah. All sorts of things.

A lot of good stuff. Beautiful place to be. Do go on pod.com is our website. But our Patreon side is patreon.com slash tigone pod. And the first thing we like to do is for people on the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above, get to go into a section of the show we call Fat Quote or Question, which actually has a jingle, go something like this. Fact quote or question!

Oh, he always remembers the shing. Yes, I shing. And she always remembers the shing. And in this section of the show, we take a couple of our great, But patrons from that level, they get to give us a factor, credit, question, or a brager or a suggestion, really, whatever they like. And this week, first one comes from James Edwards. They also give themselves a title. And James's title is Cool Gay Uncle of the Pod, open brackets, happy Pride Month, everybody, closed brackets.

Open brackets, open brackets, yes, I wrote this in June, closed bracket, close bracket, close bracket. Well, we recorded it in June. Yeah. Just so you know. So happy Pride month to you. Yeah. But it will come out in July. And James has a question writing.

I just started a new job and was asked several getting to know you questions. Getting to know you. What's that from? It's a musical, I think, so Dave would love it. And thought I'd oppose one to you all. If you had to have a walk on tune every time you ended a room, what would have been? Why? It's from The King and I, that song.

Okay. And James writes, that's something I've never. seen, but I reckon I've probably seen parts of it used to be played like on Saturday afternoons. Definitely, yeah. James, I always, if you ask a question, we always suggest you give us an answer if you can. James says, I chose this is me from the greatest showman because it's the song I play when I'm feeling low or need a confidence boost.

Hope you're all well. Looking forward to seeing Matt in London in September. And my husband, Bob, will be bringing a gorgeous pup lady along for a drink. afterwards too, close bracket. Love you all, X, X, X, X.X. I met James's dog. Last time we're in the UK. Lady is such a good name for the dog, too. And it's such a cool dog, such a cute dog. Oh, so jealous. It meets the name. You know what I mean? Lady Life. It's as good as the name. Lady in red. Was the dog wearing red? Give my lady back, lady back. That's either the soundtrack, that's playing when that dog walks into a

Oh, that's awesome. What, what song do you want, Dave? I'm probably thinking the start of chaos. whisper. Yeah. The Ch, Ch, sh, do, do,

do, that's pretty good, love that, I walk in. Hi, everyone, I'm here. That's good stuff.

What about you, Boppa? You know I'm going, baby I'm burning. Oh, yeah, that's fantastic. Dolly, a classic.

That's a great. The vibes are high. Yeah. It's a great track. On Road Show, recently, they asked us what our walk-on song

was, and I guess the one I chose then remains, hurts by Amal and the Sniffers. I want to go to the country. Yeah. I want the breeze in my air, in my hair.

Yep. I love that. Oh, my other one is, of course, which I use for the do-go on the quiz show. Tom Jones, it's not unusual. That's what I thought you were going to go for. And what do you use for me on that one? Pantara, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, Catweds from hell. Yeah, Catweds from hell. I'll accept either. And thanks so much to answer that question. That's a great question, James. I love that question. When you said like an icebreaker question, I kind of like, I remembered starting new jobs and having those get to know your icebreaker and being like, oh, these are so tedious.

But that's a pretty good one, I reckon. That's a good one. There's an actual bit of personality. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Because some people just like, you know, they'll, their question answer to do you like, what music do you like they say? Oh, whatever's on.

So that would be a nightmare question for them, I suppose. Yeah. But I guess they, in that instance, you have to name a specific song. Yeah, true. It's a bit more than what's your favorite genre of music? I know, like a bit of everything. Yeah. All right.

Name a song. And it's not just like what's your favorite song. It's like, okay, you're entering a room. What sort of vibe do you want to curate? It says a lot about a person, I think. I think we've given a lot of ourselves to that. We have. I thought it was a really brave thing we just did.

Yes, I agree. And James was very brave also. Thank you so much, James. For suggest it for saying that his song would be quite a popular, very good song. And brave. Our next one His one was a popular song Yeah, from Greatest Showman

You would, I reckon if you heard it Right, even if I haven't seen the movie Yeah, there you go It's a round of fair bit I'll play it for you after Look forward to it Our next one comes from Isabel McTeer, aka Captain Coffee

America Division Offering a brag Okay We love a brag We love all of them But it is nice when people Take the opportunity to brag writing, hey guys, thank you for giving us a space to celebrate important moments in our lives with a bunch of awesome people.

I love getting a share in the joy of strangers. It makes the world feel less big and sad. I'm bragging about getting accepted into art school. Woo! Growing up, I never thought of myself as an artist because I couldn't draw very well, so I didn't take any art classes. But a few years ago, I started creating just for the joy of it and recently decided to go back to school for art with the hope of someday having a career as an artist. I was nervous. I wouldn't get accepted.

And the Fuddy Dutty Arts teachers wouldn't think my art was good enough. But I did it. Sorry, Dave. Sorry, I'd just say those bloody fuddy duttys. Oh, those Fruci old dins. There's Fuddy old dins. There's Fuddy Dotties. Oh, I'd tell you all about those fruity dotties up on Capitol Hill at the art school,

which I assume is where it is. They don't know art if it ate them in the face. Piss Christ, that's art. That's art. Like the Pope getting hit by a comet, that's art. That's art. A banana with duct tape, that's art. That's art.

These are things we spoke about on a recent bonus episode. Anyway, Isabel continues. But I did it. I'm so excited to start this next part of my journey and I'll definitely have an updated brag when I graduate. I listen to the pod while working on projects. So this feels like we did this together. That feels even better for me now,

knowing that I got into art school. So thank you guys for writing laughs to my art studio. To celebrate, I drew a where's popy snow scene and I'll post it, post it to the nicest corner of the internet when this gets read out. Great. I was just opening up the Patreon group to be like, put your heart in there. Get your art in there. Show us your art.

I want to see it. That's so cool. I think that's awesome. And maybe even people can be inspired by that to, you know, reply with their own bits of art. Yeah. Get a thread going. Yeah.

Keep being your perfect selves. Isabel, hey. Hey, oof. Don't put that pressure on us. Yeah. We're not perfect. We're human, hey? We put our pants on one leg at a time.

Well, Dave doesn't. He jumps in his. Hold it, hold it, hold it. He does have won't. He makes us do that every morning. We have to go to his house before we go to work. Help Dave put on pants. You know what?

I just remembered, do you want to throw that ox over to me? I got a message. Remember when we used to, I haven't screened this. Oh, is it a jingle? Yeah, someone, I believe, did I see that I got a DM? Yes, there is one. So I got a message. Do you want to hear the message first?

Sure. Hey, I'm not sure if you're still accepting theme song submissions, but I took a shot at it. If not interested, no worries. Love the shows. Right. I didn't give as much context as I thought, right? All right, you all ready for this?

Yes. funny, weird and odd From DB Cooper to the Arctic Pooper King Tops to cremation and worse Volcanoes erupt In high sun 1960s

Let's get Hondu go on How Oh my God What? That was fucking awesome Uh The only name I've got for them

Is Smelly Goat Soup Oh my God Smelly Goat Soup That sounded like something Dave Warnocki absolutely would have listened to on repeat at 14 years old. You better believe it. Oh my god, does that? That's a compliment. I meant that as an absolute compliment. Did I see them opening for Blink in 2004? Oh, that's awesome. What a voice too, by the way. Holy shit. That's so good. I'll have to try and remember to play it at the start of an episode

covered up. Yeah. That was so good. I got to bring that back next week. That's so fucking great. Thank you so much. Smelly Goat soup. Yeah, there is it. I haven't checked the email in a long time. and that came through, that was a Patreon DM but I wonder, yeah, do any of you remember what the email address was? Wasn't it like do jingle on or something? Do jingle on, that's right. And do you remember what the password is?

Did you end up making it though? I feel like this is our, I think he did. This is our method, you said the name of the email before having created it and he said, but by the time this comes out, I'll have created the email, but I don't know if you have actually made it. So people have been emailing fake email.

No, I definitely. He did it. He did it, but he doesn't remember the password now. Yeah, because my computer got blanked, so I lost the... His computer got blanked. I don't know what I to tell you. His computer got blanked. But I'll be out of find it again.

That was amazing. Thanks so much. I loved that. That gave me chills. Smelly goat soup. Smelly goat soup. And I like, you got cobra. You got Bop on Big Set Todd.

Six set Todd. Sixet Todd. That's what you are in the group chat. Is it really? Yeah. Your thick set Todd, pal. Fantastic. What am I?

Oh, you right now you are... I've forgotten. It's funny how it's just because. I'm so... I know. You're dry hole slick, Dave. Am I? Yeah.

You're Penny Dreadful. Oh, that's right. And that's actually Bonato Bongo now. Yeah, that's your Bono bongo. What are you again? Dry hole slick. I like the salmon. And Penny Dreadful is the best.

So good. Well, that was amazing. Holy shit. Thanks so much. Hey, the next thing we normally do is thank a few of our other great supporters. Yeah. Just you normally come up with a game based on the topic? What about a rumor about them?

Rumor about them. I feel like I can do the rumors. Okay. If you too, I want to do the... I love any volunteers. Yeah, okay, we can absolutely... We'll do names. I haven't...

Look, I don't. I'm just going to... Yeah, just blank your mind. I feel like I'm feeling... Do you want to go one for one day? Delirious enough. All right, I'll kick us off. Also, I'll explain firstly what we do here.

We thank some listeners. You already said this, didn't you? We come up with a game. And we read out their names. You did already say this. I think something like that. Sorry, I don't listen when men talk. So first up, I would like to kick things off with, from Address Unknown, we can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles.

Emma B. Pst, Emma's Aggie dresses. I have to keep paying for dinner. She's basically a class tourist. Wow, okay. I don't think she dresses bad, but she doesn't. She dresses down. She dresses down.

She's a multi, multi-billionaire. What? Yeah. I have picked up the check for dinner the last three times. Yeah, sorry. Wow. I lent her like $3 billion. Oh, God.

She did not need it. I feel foolish. I feel foolish. Let me tell you that. Dave, I feel a fool. Oh, I think you sound like a fool. The boy is tweet. I would like to think now from Glenshaw in, I believe, is Pennsylvania in the United States.

It's Zach the blind tennis player. P. Yeah. has a really weak second serve. If you can put Zach off on the first serve, the second server is a real lollipop. Have you seen this IRL or is this just a rumour? I've seen it. Okay.

Not many else have. Okay, yes. Because nearly never misses that first serve. Right. But if you hear second service, oh my God. Just basically walk to the other side of the court, the place's yours. If anything, the only way will get an ace on that one is it you're not making it up. to it. It's so soft.

Right. Okay. That, that rum is also true about me. What a saucy rumor. Next up, I would like to thank from Newark in Great Britain. Dominic J. Beeling. Dominic J. Beeling. Oh my God. You know, that horse that he supposedly used to ride as a kid? Yeah.

Never existed. What? He never had a horse. What did he ride to school then? A BMX bike He never had a horse Prinkles He made it up

The horse never existed I wish you could see the face acting That's going to this It's beautiful stuff Acting I would like to thank now From Oxted in Great Britain Thank you to Alex

Her name Our surname probably starts at the W Looking at your email The poo What That we all thought was a ghost Yeah. That was Alex.

No. Alex did the poo. What? Are you sure? Yes. I have a nanny cam. In the toilet? In the toilet?

No, not in the toilet. This is on the land room. This is the middle of the room. In the middle of the room. I was just checking. There's no other nanny cam. Because I go to the toilet for some private time. That's a really unique trade of yours.

Most people do it to put on a little show. Wow, that's a hot bit of gossip. Sorry, Alex, I know you were trying to hold no one back. You're dumb. Next up, I would love to thank from, oh, address unknown. We can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles. Joseph Upham. Joseph Upham.

It's a great name. Actually, taller than he lets on. What? He hunches. He squats. He's actually 6'4. I've never noticed. Yeah, I don't know.

I thought he was like my high. He doesn't like people to know. You're not, he's not a height tourist. He could reach anything. What? He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to be grabbing stuff off the top shelf for you. Joseph, I got the ladder out.

You could have just got it. At Dave's age, that's a full risk. Yeah. I don't have a ladder license. I'd like to thank from Townsville up in Queensland. Thank you to Jesse Weymaru. Wow. Am I reckon I'm saying that, what?

Wymeroo. Wiramoo. Wiramoo. Oh, Wiramoooooooooooo is pretty good too. Jesse Wiramoo, Jesse Warramu. Jesse's great, great granddad, Casper. Casper had a kid. What?

Casper had a secret kid. Whoa. A secret kid. Wow, with who? With a secret mum. Oh, okay. And then they had a secret kid who had a secret kid. Oh my gosh, it comes from a long line of secret kids.

Who had a kid called Jesse Wiramaru. Whoa. Oh. Which, and I know that's not the name he's given us here. No, but. But that's his real name. Whoa. Yeah.

Whatever you said, Dave, that's his secret name. Jesse's a secret kid. Yeah. Not much longer. Yeah. Well. Jesse, we're on Maru's the actual name. Wow.

Sorry to docks you there, Jesse. Huge. Yeah, I struggle to recover from that one. Next up from, what is this? Shamokin. Oh, my God. Shamokin. Also in.

would you say Where'd you say that was Back to Pennsylvania Pennsylvania, yeah Please thank Josh Josh Josh

Abducted Harold Holt What? Yes He didn't drive No! Give him back! Give him back! He still has him

We need him! He's still got him In Shamokin? Yeah Harold Holt's in Shamokin? He keeps him in a shallow pool That's actually poor taste That's cruel

That's how he's a warden That's how he He abducted him after he was living in the water for quite a while Oh okay so he's keeping in there Humanely Like you'd have a dolphin Yeah I gotta rescue him

Rescue him put him in an octopus Like you'd have a dolphin in a shallow pool Yeah They love it Yeah Wow there you go This is some hot goss I don't think these rumours would be so spicy

Yeah I would like to thank now from Location Unknown to us Hmm I'm seeing there also In The Fortress with Joseph Thank you to Greg Bannister Oh,

Greg Banniser, the curtains don't match the drapes. No. What? Tell me everything. You've got to be kidding me. I think they're both up top, aren't they? The carpet also doesn't match the curtain or the drapes. I'm imagining someone whose hair has died, brown on one side and blonde on the other.

The curtains, they don't match the drapes. Yeah. Well, maybe the eyebrows are the... Yeah, curtains of the face. Yeah, the curtains of the face and the hair. And they don't match. Yeah. Embarrassing.

The carpet does match. Oh, which one? Two-toned. Oh, I see. It matches both. Yeah, yeah. That's impressive. Yeah.

Thank you so much. But pretty scandalous. Very scandalous. I'm scandalized. Thank you, Greg. And, uh, geez, always, man. Put a hat on. Yeah.

And finally, I would love to thank from Nixon, Missouri. Mia. Never got their pen license. What? Are they using a pen, though? They're using a pen. Fuck. Are you serious?

Yeah. Yep. You can't do that. I know. That's really full on. I know. Yeah. Matt, if you know this, you should have said something to the authorities,

not just like telling us. Like, what do you want us to do? This is really serious. Jess, can I tell you this? Only recently has truth become my life's purpose. So, you know, you can understand. I love being on this journey with you, this truth journey. Yeah.

I think in America, they, and maybe outside of Australia, they don't have been licenses, that might sound like, sounds absolutely nonsense. Yeah. For some reason, you wrote with a grey lead and then when your, when your cursive was up to scratch, you'd be allowed to start using a pen. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, you got to get your joining license.

Oh, what's that? When you can write sort of with, yeah, cursive or joined letters. Then if you got that, then you can go for your pen license. I'll let me tell you, but they're not teaching the kids this this day, so. Right, right, oh, get off to your iPads, kids. Oh, I got my kids. Kids these days don't know how to write cursive. I got the keyboard license.

Yeah, good on you. I can't, like, they say like, oh, kids these days, they're not going to be able to read cursive. I find, like, old letters from family members, and I'm like, I can't read a word of this. Yeah. Why, and, like, why do you need to? Why can't we just write properly? Luckily, luckily. Right clearly.

You know, you just scan it and then the computer will convert it into. Yeah, exactly. Shut up. Oh, and I also don't know how to change the wheel on a penny farthing. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. It's obsolete. That's not going to come up.

I don't have it. I can't change a wheel on a car, but I could call a man who can. Who cares? There's a man for everything. Yeah. Just get a man to do it. I was going to do it. Or a YouTube tutorial. Yeah. No, I'll get the man. I won't do it myself. Tried to change a dishwasher hose this week. Did you? Do you believe that from a YouTube tutorial? I failed, but still I tried. I fully got the thing out. I took the side off. I opened the whole thing up.

Well done. Couldn't believe myself. It's broken now. Yeah. It's fixed beyond repair now. Before it's just a hose, but I was cutting them all. I threw the whole thing off the balcony. Yeah, so that'll get it open. Thank you to me, Greg, Josh, Jesse, Joseph, Alex, Dominic, Zach and Emma. I thought we were done, but I forgot we got the Triptych section to do.

One inductee this week. Dave, what is this all about? This is our Hall of Fame, our clubhouse where we have a roll call everywhere to see there's anyone new to be inducted into the Triptich Club, which is people who have been supporting the show for three consecutive years or above. They've already had a shout out like we just did, but a couple of years later. We're now enshrining them forever because they haven't fallen off. They've been supporting us strong and true now.

They're going up on the wall. They're running into the club. And inside you find the thousand other people we've inducted. Plus also live music, food, entertainment, a place to sleep, a place to shit. Let's be honest. We've got great toilet facilities. Great. Are we got a spa bath?

Yeah. We got... It's not. The water is too hot. Oh my gosh. But some people like that. But yeah, you will probably get burns. Yeah.

But, Jess, you're behind the bar. You normally come up with a cocktail. What's the Casper house a cocktail? It's white, obviously. Uh-huh. So it's milk. Uh-huh. Kind of whatever spirit you want with it, I suppose.

Uh-huh. Except if it's like a, maybe like a clear spirit. It's appropriate. Oh, yeah. Because it can't be anything that's going to make it not white because then it doesn't look like a little ghost. I've also put like, I put a little, I've made little like cloth, um, uh, ghost costumes.

and I put it over your drink. It's really cute. That's darling, darling. And your dive. Well, you're never going to believe. We'll love to do this. I think I was doing the Incredibles costume makeup, of us.

Oh, yes. So I've seen that second one, but. You'll get there. You're never going to believe who I've booked this week. when the name of this topic came up, my draw hit the floor. Yeah.

Because I have booked Children's Act Casper Baby Pants. Whoa! You got Casper Baby Pants? That is the pseudonym of Christopher Balliou, who was the singer of presidents of the United States of America, who made children's music under the name Casper Baby Pants. Wow. What a career they've had?

Have they done versions of, like, Kitty and stuff? It doesn't look like it's, number one track is Run, Baby Run. Then we've got all the fish, barba black sheep, stompy the bear, chicken in the cornbread. Okay. It's a lot going on. But they've all that millions of place. I'm very excited.

So that's something to look forward to. So that's the after party. Kid friendly by the sounds of it, if anyone has their kids in there. But remember, if you bring your kids in, the kids can never leave. Yes. So the kids will then be raised in the Tribes Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe leave them at home.

Yeah. But that's entirely your call. Yeah, of course. And maybe we can get Casper baby pants to maybe play some present songs instead and scrub. Yeah, but it'll be in the kid style. They'll be in lump, but like, you know, like a nursery room star. Okay. Okay.

All right. That sounds good. I feel that. So, just one inductee this week. So if you hear your name, run on in. Dave's going to be up on stage. I'm seeing the show. Thank you.

Every other inductee is already in chanting your name. And then, yeah, hang around for the after party with a great band and grab yourself for Casper Cocktail. So, the inductee this week from Brunswick right here in Melbourne. Short commute. Welcome, Francis Batchelah. What a catcher. Francis Bachelor!

Will you accept this rose? That's the alternative. Good stuff. Come on in, Francis. Francis makes up a home. Okay. That's good too. That brings to the end of the episode.

Jess, anything we need to tell people before we go? We're so sorry. about everything. About everything, about what's going on with you, in your personal lives. Things will get better. It's okay. We love you.

And, you know, this is episode 507. So if this was your first episode, bloody, what a journey you have to go on now, my friend. What a back catalogue you have to enjoy. You can go back and listen to us when two of us were 25 years old and thought we knew stuff. We did not. Yeah.

We did not. I was already old. I was wise back then. I'd been wise the whole time. Yeah, he knew. He knew he didn't know. And it's honestly daunting. Yeah.

I feel like we're catching up slightly. Yeah. Must be funny to think back at all the, how silly you must realize you seem to me. Yes. I go, oh, he was so patient with us. Yeah, it was very patient. Yeah. You can suggest a topic if you'd like to.

There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website. Just do go on pod.com. And you can find us on social media. We are blowing up on TikTok, baby. Blowing up. up. TikTok.

Do go on podcast on TikTok at Dogo on Pod on everything else. Find us. Follow us on social media, not in real life. Dave, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. And don't forget the Count Dan is on. Matt and my stand-up specials are coming to YouTube.com on the Humdinger channel in just a couple of weeks premiering on Saturday, July 26. Oh, my God.

Put in the calendar now. It's going to be real good. I'm happy enough with it. So I think. He's got, and he's, you know. He's his own worst critic. Exactly. Aren't we all?

So if you think it's pretty good, everyone else is going to lie up to say pretty good. And I'm that second harshest critic. And I also think it's pretty good. So. Well, I'm really nice and I think it's fucking great. So, yeah, check that out. We'll be right next week, like I said, with another episode. Until then, thank you so much for listening and goodbye.

Later. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never, will never miss out.

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