Do Go On - 510 - The Pez Bandit

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

This is a special episode - it was recorded live in London in November 2024, in front of our largest audience EVER. The crowd were red hot, and we told the story of a kooky character who went on quite the adventure and made a lot of money, all in the pursuit of Pez.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:33 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.ecurrent.com/film/the-story-behind-netflixs-the-pez-outlaw/https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/collecting/2015-03-20-jeffmaysh-howamichiganfarmermade4millionsmugglingrarepezcontainersintotheus.html - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pezhttps://us.pez.com/pages/history?srsltid=AfmBOooCzOCesmZRsgFHAuZBBHsDlyhmfrjdO_yuFS8Z7W-nI02kMXOK Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Another episode of Do Go On, London. How are you doing out there?

That is beautiful. Hello. I heard Dave. It could have been to fuck you, Dave. I don't know. But thanks so much for coming out. Now, we always start these live shows by asking, give us a round of applause if you've ever heard Do Go On before.

That is always a genuine relief. I will be honest. And then we always back it up by asking, give us a round of applause and no pressure here. Just be honest, give us a round of applause. never heard the show ever before in your life. Okay. And thank you respectfully for staying towards the back.

Nearly every other show we've had, it's been front row. I don't fucking know who you are. That would be tough to take for the person who's literally three kilometres up there. Brutal. Well, welcome. Thank you for, you know, I assume being dragged along by a friend. We appreciate you giving us a go. The last thing we were told, you were still talking.

Sorry about that. Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's been nearly 10 years. Don't start now. I respect you as a feminist, but I would say this, before you go on, I had a thought. The last thing we were told before we came out here is apparently two of the biggest names

have performed here, apart from us, Magic Mike. That was the first one that was mentioned. And then as an afterthought, also Charlie Chaplin. Yeah. Feels like the right order, I think. The big two.

The big two. Magic Mike. Well, the big three. I don't know. Anyway, I was talking about these balls. Nine shows, 12 days. Yeah, okay. So, if you haven't heard the show before,

what we do here is we take it in terms of a report on a topic, often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a little bit of research, then bring it back. Now, Jess, it is your turn to do the report tonight. Thank you, yes. No, that's about all it deserves. The first show. It was brutal.

The first show we did on this tour, we said, it's Dave's turn, and it was like a five-minute standing ovation. And Matt and I were like, okay. But then every single time it's been us, it's there, woo, and we're like, yeah, all right. But you got to remember, that was in a cool city. So, oh, I didn't realize,

I didn't realize how our ego is in London. Just trying to be honest with you. Fucking hell. Edinburgh's a better city than this. I said that, them as well that they were better than you and they loved it. That's true. Yes, it is my turn.

Yes. And I have a tale to share with you. Oh, that's a great relief. I say that. I haven't read it. I mean, I wrote it weeks ago and we'll see. We'll learn together. It'll be fun.

For our newcomers, we always start with a question to get us on to the topic. And do you actually have a question? I wrote it two minutes ago. And I think it shows, because my goodness. The question is, which confectionery takes its name from the German word for peppermint. Oh, Marsbar. It's not Mars bar, unfortunately. My mind just went to pepperminten.

Oh, yeah, is it something like that? Shmabman-shmum. Is it something like that? Is it something we've heard of? Yeah, remember, well, absolutely, yes. Minties. Not minties. Okay.

Do you have them here? You must have minties? You don't have minties? Fucking out. What is that? Polo mince? No, no, no. Anybody in the audience have a guess?

Or know the German word? This makes me feel so much better that 500 people also don't know. Ahton. Pez? Correct. No! It's Pez? Yeah, but I'm not just talking about Pez for an hour.

Although... No, this is a story that we will call the Pez Bandit. Whoa. That's cool. They love pantomime over here. Ooh. Oh, it's behind me right now.

Oh my God, is there someone from East End is about to walk onto the stage. You love it here. I love it. You couldn't think of a single English actor, could you? Yeah. No, but that's the thing. It's always someone on a poster we drive past.

It's like, come see the Christmas pantomime starring Bill Moom. Oh, I love Bill Moom's work. Bill Moom is great. We never recognise them. Do you say Moon? Yeah, Bill Moom. M-O-M-O-M. Okay.

Do you remember? Remember it was in Holby City for a while. Is that also made up? We're big Moomheads that do go on. Yeah, we love Moom. Bring back the Moom. Okay, please. Tell me about this. Wait, before we, do you reckon everyone's, can you ask if they're all from London?

Whatever? You did that in Berlin and it got interesting results. Okay. I will absolutely ask. Give us a round of applause. Dave is taking requests. Yeah. You're now talking to them through me.

It's really weird. That isn't talking to the audience. Tell them to go fuck themselves. Round of applause if you're from London. Oh, that's not that many of you. Okay. Random applause if you are from overseas. Maybe more.

Nice. What about Australia? Great. That's nice. Now we alphabetically will go through every country. Angola. Is Andorra a place? Because I think it's before Angola in the alphabet, mate.

I thought Angola was funnier. Round of applause. No, yell out where you're from. Where are you from overseas? America, South Africa. Costa Rica, Bulgaria. New Zealand. Iceland.

Very cool. Someone did yell out, darling. Right? That was your mum. Yeah. Thanks, Mum. Can I start? Yeah, yeah, sorry about it.

Thanks so much. We'll edit that all out. No, we won't. So, a little bit of background on Pez, firstly. So it was first marketed as a compressed peppermint suite in Austria in 1927 by a man named Edward Haas III. The name Pez is an abbreviation of Feveremints, which is German for peppermint. Oh, okay, yes. I thought maybe because you'd bought some peppermint tea in Germany, maybe Fevibor.

maybe Fevermans might be front of mind, but I forgot who I was talking about. Well, I said before that, I said, I don't spreckin the Deutsch. So, yeah, I didn't have to learn Pfeffafif. But now I have. What have you learned? FFFF. So they were originally these round peppermint lozenges, and they were called Pez Drops. The mints did okay, but then in the 1950s the Pez company put Mickey Mouse and Poppice

and Popeye heads on the dispensers and they retargeted them to children and then it really took off. So at first they were just like cool mints for grownups and then they're like, well this grownups don't want this give it to the kids.

Yeah. And it really took off. By the 90s, baby boomers who'd grown up with Pez had turned the dispensers into collectors' items. What else are they collecting bloody investment properties? Yeah.

Any boomers in. Any boomers in. Well, actually, if you stopped eating avocado, fuck off. So there's an article written by Jeff Mesh, and I reference Mesh a lot. He writes, boosted by a 1992 Seinfeld episode featuring a Tweetybird dispenser, Pezp sales spiked to a record $18 million. That's US.

And the company made the cover of Forbes magazine. It's on the front of Forbes. Auctioneers at Christie's in New York put aside Picasso's to sell plastic candy pushers to Pezheads. Collectors scrambled for rejects and prototypes such as the failed make-a-face dispenser worth $3,000. So they're like, these are big, big collector items. People are paying a lot of money for these. Prices climbed 400% according to Michael Edelman, co-author of the original collector's price guide to Pez. Michael.

get a life. But then big things like conventions popped up, websites, black market dealers. It became this whole big thing. It was a big collector's item. Black market Pez. Oh yeah. If you're not on board, this is going to be a long report. Because another important figure appeared, a man who would go on to be known as the Pez Bandit.

I think it's a title he gave himself, but... Oh no, Jess. The Pez Bannet is behind you. You kind of look like a Pez dispenser then. So it's coming out here. Yeah, if you start opening up. Matt, you do an impression of a Pez dispenser. The sound or the... Yeah, I'd love to hear the...

Deal's choice. I've never experienced one, but I assume it sounds like... Is that kind of it? Yeah. Thank you. The Man of a Thousand Noises. So yeah, people who haven't seen the show before, we don't understand why they applaud sometimes either. It baffles us too.

Can you say something so I can have a sip? I had a Pez dispenser. That's a baddop. Thank you. Next time you want to sip, I'll reveal what it was. We're a really good team. It just flows nicely. So the Pez Bandit.

His name was Steve Gloo. That's fantastic. Very good. He worked as a machinist in a factory in Michigan and lived on a farm that he and his wife, Kathy, had purchased for $20,000. Was he like a dead horse? No, that would have been one of his ancestors

would have been a dead horse, I guess. Right, that's how you get names. So your ancestors are the job they used to do. And Steve's family, they used to be dead horses. That's just a fact. That's a fact. You know, Stuart, my people in Scotland, who are in so many ways superior to you, they, the stewards, they were stywardens.

So I think they looked after pigs. And we really looked up to the dead horses. One day we climb the social ladder. We might get there one day. If we could turn his mic down, that would... Have they not done that? So Steve Glew, he's a very fun character. There's a documentary called The Pez Bandit.

He plays his younger self in reenactments throughout the documentary, which is really fun. He's got long white hair and like a very long beard, like a Gandalf-type beard. But in the reenactments, they must have like dyed it black again to make him look younger. Does he also play himself as a baby? How far back does he go? He goes back to baby, yes. And it's uncomfortable to watch a... 60, 70 year old man in a diaper.

But it... He demanded it. It works. So he's short and he's stocky. He's got this big beard and he's always wearing a bucket hat and he's great. So for 18 years, he and his family lived in a rundown farmhouse and kept horses. Not, no, shut up, Matt. Yeah.

Can we just get a quick check? They kept alive horses. Well, you know, a live horse is a horse that hasn't died yet. as they say as they say a living horse is just a glue that hasn't there's something in there

something in and around that you workshop it no I won't think about it again they kept horses goats and cows on their property Steve says for my whole life I'd been poor poor is in you don't have enough money

even when your house payment is only $125 a month I'm glad he kept talking because I was like, no, we got it. Their farmhouse was so run down that snow got in through holes in the roof and walls, and in winter they would wrap the house in plastic to keep the snow out. It also stops people hiding drugs in there when you're getting onto a plane. That's Dave's equivalent of a regret face. Just quietly chuckling to himself.

I thought that was quite funny. Here's the thing, Dave. They didn't. Yeah, you made that clear. Thank you so much. This is obviously for us, but more for them, I think. So if they don't laugh, that's when inside you go, oh, God. Yeah, I'm feeling that right now. Have I made it better or worse?

A little better. Okay, great. What does that feel like, Dave? What, saying something and then wishing you hadn't said it? Yeah. It'll happen to you one day. You have to have a bit of self-awareness for that. So the family, they're struggling a little bit.

Steve and Kathy's son, Josh, said at that point in our life, we didn't have two pennies. And if you did have two pennies, it was because you weren't paying someone. So it was a rough time. So Steve, he worked long hours at the factory, making $11 an hour, 80-something hours a week. The work was mind-numbingly boring. And while Steve felt that other people never really expected him to amount to much,

he felt like there was always another version of him stuck inside, who had the potential to do something big. That lack of satisfaction in his work, along with struggles with mental health and OCD, meant that Steve would often fall into depressions. Kathy says it was hard for him to leave the house sometimes, until he found a passion, collecting cereal boxes. Oh, okay. Don't assume.

To Steve, cereal boxes were nostalgic, right? and he also just loved cereal. I think it really just comes down to, I like this. So he enjoyed sort of making collections. He would go to the recycling plant in Grand Ledge, Michigan, where he spent his days hunting through trash containers for cereal boxes. Now, this is in 1991, and several companies would offer all sorts of promotions and prizes to their loyal customers.

So you would send in a specified number of box tops in order to receive, like, a radio or cassette tapes, watches, sports items, bubbleheads, toys, all sorts of prizes. And luckily, he had quite a few cereal boxes. So he collected him for nostalgia. Yeah. But I imagine the ones that are in the bin aren't that old. You know, like... True, but they will be.

Oh, okay. It's pre-nostalgia. Yeah, yeah, that's clever. He's thinking of future, Steve. Yeah. Jeff Mesh writes, The Bizarre Hobie filled the void left by the raging drug addiction that had stolen his teenage years.

is that the first you've mentioned that? Yeah. And that's funny to these people. Unbelievable. Sorry, where where from? We have sensitivity. And really poor quality drugs. Honestly.

Yeah, really bad. Yeah. I'd love to, you know. You'd love to. Yeah. Find out what the difference is. You have opened a really, dangerous kettle or worms there. Anyway, this should have been Berlin discussions.

Yeah. So fresh out of rehab at 19, he met Kathy, a pretty horse whisperer. And after Jess, sorry, I've got to. There's simply no time. After their third child, he promised to never drink again. So the family were living without heating or electricity and times were tough. So Steve would redeem these cereal box prizes, then take those items and sell them. In a world where the family was barely able to scrape by, this plan was bringing in extra money and really relieving the financial pressure. He redeemed thousands and thousands of prizes, selling the items of making a profit, before corporate policy was changed to include limit of one item per household.

So if you've ever seen that, that's because of Steve Glue. And he's very proud of that. In the documentary he's like, that was me! So with all the toys and collectibles he was amassing, he started taking the products to toy shows, big conventions. And remember I said a house payment was $125 a month. He was easily taking home $300 each toy show. So it's like, it's big money for them. How frequent are toy shows?

It would be one a year? I think he's still in the red. Or the black, depending on which one means which. See, that's self-awareness. Once they changed the corporate policy, because of him, That obviously put a stop to this side hustle, and he had just enough product to do one last toy show, and this 1993 toy convention changed Steve's life forever. If you pause long enough, they do something. Yeah.

As he tells it, a mysterious woman opened her jacket. Okay. And showed him a silver glow pez. A holy grail for pez collectors. We're all picturing it somewhere very particular, aren't we? Where was it? Where was it? Wherever your imagination takes it.

She whispered to him in broken English, there are many more where I come from. Where did you get it? Steve asked, hypnotised. Direct from factory in Slovenia, she whispered. Oh, she whispered, direct from factory in Slovenia. Where? She said, all you need to know.

know is Kalinska. Very mysterious. So he'd never left North America. He says, I don't go places. Europe is this thing that only rich people do. And we are delighted to be here. Sorry, Bob. Brexit means this is no longer a part of that.

Isn't that, I thought that was what you voted for. Don't indulge him. You'll have a time out. It feels a bit like they're a bit split on this one. So he hadn't left North America. Not to mention he had an intense fear of flying. And it was very difficult for him to step out of his comfort zone and out of his routine. So his son Joshua, who was 20 at the time, knew what the Pez collecting world was like

and how sought after European Pez dispensers were. Isn't this thrilling? So here's a bit of backstory on how it kind of worked, because back in the 90s, there was Pez USA and Pez International. Pez International was the parent company, and they were sort of in charge of distribution everywhere in the world except the USA. USA got to have their own say of what did and didn't get distributed around the country.

It is hilarious. You were right to laugh them. They were all wrong. They were all wrong. That was you. You have great instincts. 99% of this crowd is slow. This guy gets it.

He's ahead of your time. That guy's just, he's very business-minded, you know? He's like, oh, that's a terrible system. And it was. So basically, the president and CEO at the time of Pez USA was a man named Scott McWinney. And he was also fondly known as the Pezident. That's really good. It's also...

No, that was right. There was a laugh and then an underlying, oh. That was correct. His surname's also the last thing a Scottish horse will say. Before it dies. I've got to say something every now and then. I've travelled a long way to be here. And if I just sit quietly like Jess really wishes I would,

it would feel like, you know, I'm not earning my keep. So, Pesident. I feel like it's something that Jess Beckham's would either love or hate the nickname Pessenden. Yeah. I'm not really not sure about it. Yeah. And is there a vice president?

For some reason I like vice president more. I don't know why. I think it's hard for me to decide because I think president's funny, but this guy sounds like a dickhead. Oh, this is McWenny. McWenny, Scott McGueney. Jeff Mace writes, a Harvard MBA and former head of children's cereal at General Mills,

the heavyset executive wrote a Harley to the candy factory in Orange, Connecticut. He said, people imagine it's little green people running around here and machines going toot, toot, but it's not. Destroying all the fun. People like, oh, candy factory must be nice. It's not, okay? It's shit. It's very serious. Now let me get on my Harley.

Yeah. He also said there are thousands of collectors and they all want to talk to me. I have to be very careful. He hated collectors. He despised all unofficial books, websites, conventions. He despised people who really loved their product. He says, Chris Jordan, who wrote of Pezcollectors.com. Well, he'd hate Chris Jordan.

Yeah, and Chris said, collectors didn't even put a dent in his sales. We were just a pain in the ass. He just hates them, but they love, they're the main consumer, and he's like, fuck these guys. So McWinney ran a tight ship and held total control over what did and didn't make it for American consumers. So Pez International would come up with some really fun ideas, or they'd secure licenses for fun characters or brands,

and USA would reject them. So there were heaps and heaps of products that never made it to American Shores that collectors sure would love to get their hands on if only someone would go get them and bring them to America. That sounds hard, no one's going to do that. I love these people.

In Australia, they just sit there like this. That's not true, they're nice. Love you, Aussies. No. I just had a thought, because we were talking about Scotland. They actually voted in favour of remaining. So did London apparently. All right, I'm back on board.

Okay, so the son, Josh, took the reins in really pushing his dad to take the next step in their latest wild dream. So the 20-year-old called a travel agent, ordered express passports for himself and his father, and very quickly they were soaring over the Swiss Alps in a small twin prop plane. Someone who doesn't like flying. Yeah, that's a nightmare. Apparently, Josh recalls, the pilot left the controls to serve drinks. Put on a little apron, gets the tray out. And the turbulence was unreal.

His terrified father turned green. So they took out a loan in order to go on this trip. So in their minds, failure was not an option. They had to find this factory. So they get to Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia, but they need to figure out where the factory is. They're not entirely sure where it is. And they happen to have a Pez dispenser with them still in its packet. And while they're just sort of trying to figure things out, look at maps, they turn it over.

It has the address on the back. So they go. I did think they were just going to start showing it to locals going, huh? Where can I get this? So Kalinska turned out to be the name. not of a town, but of a nondescript packaging facility. So off they go, they arrive at the factory. Josh says, we really got a long way by playing up the dumb American.

They're just like, oh, we said, oh, we're here for Pez, and they just let them in. Did anyone try and use that tonight? We're here for Pez. I'm here for Pez. Steve thinks his appearance likely helped them. He says, looking dishevelled and crazy has always worked for me. Everybody underestimates you. and that's why it works for Matt.

Well, if you unpacked that, it was sort of a compliment. Yeah. So whoever went, ah, take a back. Undermestimates. She's saying that I'm better than this, but, you know, thank you. It was probably also that, yeah, he's like, oh, you know, people, we played up that we're dumb Americans,

and I look really, like, cool and un-intimidating. it probably also helped that they bribed them, but it's mostly, I think, just the goodness of people's hearts. Jeff writes, but Kalinska was not the Pez jackpot the Americans had envisioned. The warehouse owners explained

that they had a few pieces for sale, but the real Pez Nirvana was the plastics plant in Ormoz, Slovenia, where the dispenses were manufactured. The factory bordered Croatia, however, where a war for independence was raging. You should not go there, they warned. Which way is it? said Steve. So they drive to

or Moz. It's hard to tell the order of events in the documentary. And I don't necessarily think Steve is the most reliable narrator, but I think it's at this point and on this part of the journey that they take a wrong turn and they end up in a back road in the middle of nowhere. And they come across a road that just sort of has a chain across it and a sign in a different language and they're not really sure. And they get out of the car to sort of have a look around and then all these flashlights appear up ahead of them and it's a bunch of soldiers and they just get in the car and go their back the other way. So they're having a really good safe time.

A beautiful father-son bonding experience. Can you quickly explain to me the conflict in Christa at the time? Absolutely not. They do make it to almost and they find the factory. Once again they're welcome to the factory with very little interrogation as to who they are or why. they're there, bribes. And I believe it's here where they meet Marco, who Steve speaks very fondly of in the documentary.

Steve says Marco is a designer who comes up with incredible designs. You've got to see Marco's latest Pez. He comes up with all these designs for Pez dispensers. But of course, those designs are rejected time and time again by that pesky Pez USA. Marco just can't get these over the line. So Steve ordered Joshua to fetch the cash from their car saying, bring it all, bring it all in. So they end up, they buy a whole bunch of stock.

Steve was shown a Santa Claus dispenser with a black face and he says, I nearly fell over. Pez bosses had scrapped the idea, but Steve knew that a black Santa was the Pez de resistance. Oh, wow. Is that you or him? Him. Okay. You're applauding glue. He bought as many as he could carry, filling a military sack with them, and a trove of other plastic treasures.

So they got the product. Now they have to figure out how to get it back into the US. What, in their bags? Like, no, just keep it in the military sack. Yeah, it's just in a sack. Is there, like, is it illegal to bring Pez? What a fantastic question. Thank you.

And I will get to that right now. It's so funny that that really got through and made me feel good. You're giving me that small compliment there. Really good question. A compliment where I say good question. Thank you so much. Maybe I'll ask some more. No.

Oh no, you had a sip. I missed my opportunity to tell you about my pairs. Yeah, too late. Dave, can I ask you a question? Yeah. What was your pairs? It was Snoopy. Thank you.

My favourite flavour was strawberry. It's a bit tricky because the more beloved the character, wouldn't it be harder to snap its neck every time you want to have a little pears? No, that's the thing I hated Snoopy. Oh, right, yeah. I wanted Snoopy to die. So, Steve's plan, the thing that always works really well for him, play the fool.

Fain ignorance, if questioned about the legality of what? he'd done, he'd be coy and aloof and act like he had no idea there was anything suss about bringing multiple duffel bags filled with Pez into the country. So he was like, I want to look a bit dishevelled. So he purposely didn't sleep for 24 hours. And in the documentary, a guy from Homeland Security says, that's the opposite of what you should do. If you're wanting to, like the border security to give you a bit of grace, don't look fucked.

carrying multiple duffel bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you haven't slept and you can't form sentences. You are immediately suss. But anyway, the question is, as Matt beautifully asked before, what a fantastic question. Thank you so much. Was this illegal? And if so, how illegal?

Because, you know, there's like, there's tears of illegal. The items that Steve Glu was bringing over were grey market items. So that means items that are not manufactured. for US market. So it's basically an unofficial market in goods that have not been obtained from an official supplier. But these aren't knockoffs, these are the real deal, but Steve doesn't have the licensing to bring them in.

So PEZ USA is the only licensed entity to sell them, but PEZ USA had made a bit of a whoopsie daisy, and that whoopsie daisy would cost them, because manufacturers are required to contact US Customs and Border Protection, and register that they are the sole importers of a specific product. And Pez USA had not done that. So the customs officer who knows this rule is checking the books,

but Pez haven't registered anything, so he lets Steve go. He's like, you can't do that, but I'm going to let you do it. Would it be illegal to bring home products from another country, like magnets or whatever, for instance, if you were just about to go home with a bunch of magnets? Would that be a problem? Oh, man. Please buy all our magnets.

I think it's probably okay if the magnets have your face on it. Okay, okay. You know? And please no one register the fact that you're the only person allowed to make those magnets because then we'll be in trouble. Don't say that. Now we have to do it backstage. No.

Anyway, so Steve, he gets in. He gets away with it. No, you guys are too sensible. Yeah. You're like, well, actually, that's a crime, in it? Fuck you guys. You know what they do to criminals over here? They make us the us.

They make them the us? They make them the us. Can't put it any clearer than that. I should let everyone know that just to really fool them, I haven't slept for 24 hours. You wanted to seem really dishevelled at this show. And it is working, babe. Anyway, so very, very quickly, the stock that Steve brought back from Europe was being snapped up.

It's being bought by collectors. Stuff he bought for 27 cents was selling for $300. After that first overseas trip, Steve was able to quit his job in the factory. He had a new job now. He's a pez smuggler. If you heard someone say I'm a Pezmule, you'd be picturing it differently, wouldn't you? Yeah. How many do you get at a time?

Couldn't be many. Yeah. Did you say 20? I said two, and even that felt excessive. Yeah. I think I could do two. Well, let's find out. Bring out the pears.

I don't know if their resale value would be 300 bucks anymore, but... Someone here would pay 300 bucks for something that had been up Matt's butt. There you go. Wait, wait, wait. That's not what I was thinking at all. My butt? Oh, Jess. No, no, no.

Distasteful. I was talking my urethra. You can do it too. Well, I think I could do two. I think I could do two. Well, I regret saying that. So two weeks later, Steve and Josh, they're on another trip. They go to Hungary where they met a man named Gunther.

Gunther was high up the chain for Peas International, but yeah, it was quite happy to assist Steve for cash. He is in the documentary, and he's like, Steve, Steve, no, I don't. Oh, I think I met him, yeah, yeah. And they're like, did he get product from you? He was like, no, no, no. So he, Gunther wrote a note on a post-it and handed it to Steve, and he said, you will drive your car straight to the factory,

go to the front gate, you will say nothing, and present them with this. note, do not tell anyone about this. And they did exactly that. Steve said the post-it note was like a key to the city. Every time he presented it, people would just like drop what they're doing and help. So Jeff Mesh writes, they paid less than a quarter for each rare thump of the rabbit and wily coyote dispenser worth up to $75 a piece in the US. They learned how to smuggle the dispensers across borders as plastic piping instead of toys. So they would show up on airport x-ray machines as a bunch of springs. One trip soon turned into 10, each yielding up to $20,000 in profit. We're making some good cash. Are you going to reveal what the note said or no? It was in, it was in like

Hungarian. So yes. Yeah, it was in Hungarian. I guess no one could ever figure out what it was. We don't have the means to crack a code like that. We need Rosetta Sone 2. It's one of those lost language is Hungarian. What do you reckon? I said, Dave. Help me or I'll kill you or something. I was thinking I was going to say something like, you have beautiful eyes. That's the first note.

And if that didn't work, you turn it over and it says, help me or I'll kill you. That's nice. In 1995, a special run of Silverglow Pez dispensers was made to celebrate a factory opening, Pez workers in the Hungary factory secretly produced extras, which Steve bought for 28 cents each, and then sold for $200. A delivery driver was paid to pull over, and a deal was done in the street from Jeff again. On every trip, they learned more, and the more visits and the bigger the bribes, the better the pez dispensers that came their way. In December of 1995, an employee gave them a

prototype dispenser made for Hungarian bubble gum company at a roadside catholic. in or Moles, Steve made a long-distance phone call to a Pez broker in New York. A Pez broker? Imagine putting that on your hinge profile or something. People would do that. I'm a Pez broker. And the Pez broker said, what have you got? He says, I've got a guy called Bubble Boy.

He's a one-off. Bubble boy? Yeah, that's right. It's a kid blowing a bubble. He's never been seen. By the time Steve landed in America, offers for Bubble Boy had already reached $1,000. dollars. It's insane. In the documentary, Steve says they never intended to sell Bubble Boy

because he was a gift, but in his own words, money talks. And Josh was a college student paying his own tuition and somebody had offered about $1,200 and he was like, I'm going to take that. So they sold Bubble Boy. At this point, this is Steve's full-time geek and he's gained a reputation in the collector's community. This is a, uh, Somebody says, Steve wore fluffy pink slippers and a colorful robe to every event and threw free dispensers into the crowds. Pezhead screamed and fought one another to buy his stuff. A team of security guards protected his stall. That's how we're going to finish the show tonight. I'll throw the do-go-one Pez dispensers in and watch you kill each other. Dave, that is such a good idea. That's a great idea.

All right, idea. All right, get the golden one. Have we got Pez dispensers? Yeah. Fucking out. We're going to have people killed tonight. Have you seen these guys? They're ravenous. Yeah, they're pumped up.

Listen to them. It's like a jungle out there. Yeah, I don't feel safe. No. It's like wild animals who've been electrocuted and are also really horny. Listen to it. I'm just going to keep moving.

I'm going to keep going because I can see the time. Collector Chris Jordan said Steve became a celebrity at conventions. He once wore a gorilla costume to host Pez Bingo while dancing to Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run. It's a weird combination of things. Yeah, I would say guerrillas are not born to run. And they've quite awkward at walking. Weird choice of song.

Weird choice of song. On another occasion, he tipped a huge bucket of Pez dispensers over a balcony on top of a crowd of people. Very rock and roll. They were happy times. Oh no, Jess is getting emotional. Sorry. I'm quoting his son, Joshua, here.

They were happy times. Pez money was crazy good money. Josh, I really impressed his friends at college, running an international business on the side. He even took a girlfriend on a Pez mission, wowing her with dinners in countries she never knew existed. The American education system, am I right? I wrote that down.

It was like Italy. Yeah, what? By 1996, the glues, Michigan office boasted five full-time staff. They're running like a full business now. Anything we wanted, we bought. The glues drove to conventions in high-powered jeeps, pulling shiny new horse trailers full of Pez. Horse trailers.

Something about glue. You can put it together, but yeah. They built a new house on their property and a new barn for the horses. But collectors say Steve became arrogant, fiercely controlling the market and freezing out rivals. One of those rivals was an Austrian collector named Johann Patech.

A quiet man, Patek had spent years grooming Pez factory workers. Not like that. Not my words. Not like that as in not sex pasties. I'm then picturing he's doing their hair and making them. Hair, nails. Yeah.

Yeah. He's buttering up their pez. Or he's picking the bugs out of their fur. Yeah. Which is just nice. And he resented the noisy American with a Charles Manson beard who Patech felt was ruining everything. Steve in return resented Potech because the Austrian. and got to the factories before Steve did and bought all the super rare pez dispensers.

Steve once arrived at Johan's door unannounced. It's not crazy at all. He demanded that Patek sell him Pes dispensers and refused to leave. Steve was undeterred. He also says, I pursued Patek across Austria in a car chase once. Give me the Pes. That's so stupid. We were driving on sidewalks on the wrong side of the road trying to catch him.

It's become a James Bond movie of a Pez. The Pez-related chaos in Eastern Europe did not go unnoticed by the Pezident. Scott McWinney was a classic cartoon villain. He's described in the documentary as pompous and full of himself and was said to have had spies in the Pez community and collector markets, so he was aware of everything that was going on. Anything said always got back to the president. This is the guy that didn't even have the paperwork in.

into the airport. Yeah. He doesn't have his eyes on anything. He didn't have the paperwork into the airport. That's so true. You know what I meant. Thank you, the one person in this huge crowd. I can see nodding.

And fuck the rest of you. I didn't mean that last bit. I love each and every one of you. He meant to. And I love you. And I love you. Oh, no. And I love you.

but most of all I love you all I love you all right do a couple more and I love you and I love you how's it going it's good to see you I've done your podcast before how you going okay that'll do I have 12 minutes I'm so sorry

no no no not you it's him I'm apologising to you he can go fuck himself so Scott McWinney he takes his job very seriously and was willing to get a little creative and vindictive to protect their brand. So Steve had been selling the infamous bubble boy Pez, which had never been released in the US.

It was highly sought after. During an interview with Richie Beliski, editor of Pez collector's news. Is this another Pez magazine? Yeah, and Richie was a former cop as well, and it's like, oh boy. So during an interview, the president pulled out a $1,000 bubble boy from his pocket.

Beliskey's jaw hit the floor. I'm going to release Bubble Man into the U.S. the President announced, effectively squashing the market for glue's black market bubble boys. So now they're not worth anything. He can get them at the shop. Yarn. And that was just the beginning. Steve walked around the Austrian factory as if he owned the place until one visit changed everything. A worker told him, Austrian PEZ management have bought the factory. We can't sell to you anymore. Do not come here again. McWinney ordered factories to destroy all moulds after use to prevent workers from producing extras.

So he's saying like, oh, I hate collectors, they're so annoying, and he's really going after them. So Steve and Josh took a step back in 1997 and used middlemen to fulfill their growing orders. Steve focused on strip mining Europe of every relic dispenser, becoming the Indiana Jones of Pez. Would you watch that movie? Very cool. He and Joshua journeyed to Spain, South Africa, and a store. Australia. That's where we're from.

Did they get the Snoopy? They bought it from a little boy. During their travels, they met a toy broker who handled wholesale Pez orders for Japan, who boasted he could manufacture whatever they wanted. Whatever we want, Ponded Steve. So basically, Steve planned a cookie little range of dispensers that he hoped would drive collectors wild and make him millions. He designed an army of orange snowmen, yellow witches, and black skeleton dispensers.

He ordered psychedelic eye dispenses in funky neon colors, glow-in-the-dark ghosts, and a gang of weird Santas. The order involved more than 134,000 pez dispensers and some two tons of plastic at a cost of nearly half a million dollars. This is really clever, because everyone knows collectibles, the more you flood the market, the more expensive they become. So I think he's clever. Yeah.

He's just making Pez now. Yes. Oh, yellow witches. That's what people want. So he's just trying to make like something that's different. So it'll be a collector's item, but it's different to what Pez sell. So he's just, yeah, he's just trying to make his own now. I mean, you need to make one of each.

This is going to cost half a million dollars. Okay. He has 250K. So he borrows 250K. Right. I'm starting to want to. Who is that smart? Yeah, I just picked up on a,

in the crowd, and that might be a good instinct. His first 40-foot shipping container arrived in Michigan in April of 1998. The semi-truck driver waited two days while the glue family formed a human chain to unload the cargo into the barn. I think much like a pezzas dispenser,

glue doesn't have his head on right. Have you retired on top? It does not get better than that. Good night, London. Maddie boy, clocking out. So Steve's funky colour dispensers first appeared at the July Pez Convention in Cleveland. Their arrival caused a meltdown amongst collectors.

And the cover of Pez collector's news screamed, Strange dispenser colours. Get a life, you beautiful nerds. Selling for $25 a piece, Steve's knock-off Pez were doing really well. Oh, great. So that's July. Until one day

in September, when Steve went to Pez.com, obviously his favorite website, and saw something awful. There was a new button labeled Misfit Dispensers that popped out. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, Steve says. Pez got hold of my designs

and copied every single one of them and they were selling them cheap. The website openly mocked him. Oops, it read. Someone's put the wrong colors into the Pez dispenser machine. We need to find loving homes for these poor misfit dispensers, or

they'll end up in the grinder. So then sales of glue's Pez dispensers stopped dead. He reduced the price from $25 to 15, but then Pez.com dropped its price to $4.95. So they've totally

undercut him, but also they absolutely can't. because he's stolen Pez designs, so they've just fucked him over. In essence, Pez ordered his economic assassination, says Pez collected David Welch. They're a dramatic bunch. So, sadly, the dream was over. Josh fired the staff as one by one, and when the office was empty, he fired himself. Straight in the mirror.

Well, Josh, it's been a great journey here, but you're fired. What? No, fuck you. You can't quit me? I built this place. You're nothing without me, Josh. So they had to sell their jeeps, their horse trailers, all the flashy purchases they'd made. The bank took Josh's home and left Steve $250,000 in debt.

So it's like, he should have just quit while he was a head. head. He says, I should have known that Pez would destroy me. Should you have known? I just couldn't get out of my own way. Kathy is more philosophical. She says that the Pez years gave a father and son an adventure. Kathy's so sweet. She's really nice. They're probably in like their 70s now. In the documentary she's talking about meeting Steve and she was like, it was, it wasn't loving. It wasn't at first sight. It was lust at first sight. She's like this, like, she looks like the sweetest, gentlest,

grandma-type lady, and she's like, yeah, it was lust at first sight. Yeah, I don't know, the sex was really good. Still is. And I'm like, Kathy! Oh, wow. You're in front of a camera. What are you doing? Anyway, she says, Josh's eyes still light up when he recalls racing

at 100 miles an hour across Europe's automans. Kathy says it brought them together to fight a common enemy. Pez? Yeah. Today, Pez Price guides refer to glue variations when describing Steve's bootleg dispensers.

So he's really made a mark. Jeff Mesh ends his article with this. Before I leave Michigan, Steve tells me he has a secret in the basement. Turns out this is a murder episode. Strap in, guys, we're only just beginning. a cereal box museum. Ten years of work. Cap and crunch eyes peek out from behind

endless count chocular boxes. We love your culture. I'm collecting the rarest serial boxes known to man, he boasts. He tells me about a 1981 Kellogg's Banana Frosted Flakes box. The flavor bombed, he says, and consumers felt Tony the Tiger

wearing a straw hat was wrong. That's just wrong. The box is priceless, Steve says. A wild look in his eyes. He flips off the light. I'll do anything to get it. Did he have to say that in pure darkness? The light off, I'll do anything to get it. What spooky is it? And I'll lie back on. Anyway, thanks to the interview. Anyway, I'll walk you out. Did you have a jacket? I'll get your coat for you. So yeah, Steve's learnt, I was going to say he's learnt nothing. That's not true. He is a very lovable character. I recommend the documentary because it is very wholesome and fun. But that is the really bizarre and very

fun tale of Steve Glu, the Pez Bandit. A fantastic report. What a guy. And let me just check, do you have Pez in England? Imagine if this politely had gone, yeah. And I'm like, you look like a pez dispenser. They've got no idea what I'm talking about. Did you get an answer, though? Yeah. You do. Okay, great. Oh, thank goodness. I should have asked. I should have asked earlier. I should have. That's on me.

Thank God. But you are a polite people, so. Yeah, that's right. Thank you for just, yeah. We have no idea what she's talking about, but she looks like she's having fun. That's very sweet. That not only brings us to the end of this show,

but the end of our 2024 tour. We did it, everyone. Not me, though. Yeah, true. Doing a show tomorrow, who knew, with Matt Stewart? Just up the road. A few of you're coming. Dave's going to be on.

I'll be there. Jess is having a sleep in. Fair enough, too. She was invited. Whatever. Yeah, I think there's still some tickets available. And then doing Lester for the first time. I've never been in that city.

A few Lestrians in. Fantastic. And then back to Edinburgh, which obviously is pretty good place. So, yeah, you can get tickets fired. Do you go on pod.com. Dot what? I didn't say that a bit funny.

C-O-W. You didn't say it funny, mate. You said dot-com. We should get that. We should get that. Do you go on pod.com? Before one of you freaks gets in. But what else?

Unfortunately, we do not have a lot of time here. And this is our biggest crowd of not only the tour, I think of all time. Ever. This is our biggest crowd ever. So give yourself a round of... Thank you. Absolutely amazing. Can't believe it.

Which we appreciate so much. It's been a total thrill, but unfortunately they do have another show coming in. We've only got the place till four. So we've really, if you want to get some merch and maybe a quick photo, we'll have to be rude, like probably Australians and English people aren't used to. We'll do the sort of American style, maybe German-ish kind of, thank you. Thank you. Keep moving, come.

That sort of stuff. Wait, no, that is pretty English, actually. Yeah. That bit, there's two types of English, isn't there? There's the, hello, sorry. And then there's, all right, you fucking can't. Let's go. We're going for option two tonight.

So we'll be, the merch is in the back corner if you want to buy. We've got magnets, posters, and three sticker packs left, or there's three stickers in a pack. And they're all five pounds each. And then in about, we're going to go. backstage freshen up a little bit and then in about five minutes we'll be also Matt's going to have a shower

we'll go up the back if you want to say hi quickly on your way out that would be absolutely lovely but if I know it's a little bit self-indulgent would you mind if we took a photo with all of you in this lovely venue it'd be very cool it'll be possible we've got a fantastic for Liam here we've got we got Liam here and Liam up it's just such a beautiful venue

oh my god I'm so sorry to do that oh my god it comes up and no one's there That is interesting I was told you were hot But I didn't know how hot Oh beautiful I should stand up What is wrong with you

Yeah we're holding these What is wrong with me Just just give us a sec Look hot If you want Maybe one with the mic What's the Liam Thank you so much

Mike and Paul for looking after We sent Giles Who organised this whole tour Thank you too Giles up there Yeah, we also have to wrap up the episode a little bit, so we'll do that. Quickly, can I also thank, one of these boxes, I can't see, is where, one of these boxes has Saraj has come to all nine shows. All nine shows.

Which is incredible. I think, oh, there, Saraj up there. That's amazing. He's with some other people who've been to seven and eight shows, and they're not worth mentioning, but. Oh, yeah, finish the show days. We'll finish the show, and then, yeah, we'll be up the back if you want to say hi or buy some merch. Thank you so much.

But one more time for Jess Perkins, everyone. Fantastic. That's the end of the show. Thank you so much London. We'll see you next time. And we're back in Melbourne. We got on a plane. We flew across the world.

We're back here and have been for ages. Yeah, for like more than half a year. We're back in Melbourne. That was obviously live in London at the Clapham Grand, the biggest and most beautiful, I don't want to spit on any other venue we've performed. Probably a most beautiful venue we've ever played in. I don't think any other venues that we have played in would be offended by that if they looked at pictures of the Clapham Grand.

Yes. You know, they'd be like, oh, come on. Oh, no, that's stunning. It was so cool. It was such a great venue. Great audience. Perfect way to end a tour. So what was it, November, 2024?

Yeah, November, almost maybe early December by that time because it was the last show. So thank you for everyone who came out and said hello after the show, which was beautiful. We had to get out quite quickly because they had another show coming on. but obviously wanted to say hi to anyone we wanted to. So we stood there and had like really quick photos. Yeah, a little speed round. Yeah, which we love to stop and chat. But, you know, at least we got to say hello to everyone.

Which is great. We also got some great photos taken that day by a dear friend Liam was taking photos of the last couple of tours. And also another fantastic photographer, Paul Gilby. Yeah. And, well, we've got so many great photos of those guys. We haven't had that many excuses to share them. So we're going to keep an eye on the socials.

We'll be putting out a few more this week. Honestly, we'll be insufferable this week. Yeah, honestly. Because those photos are so beautiful and we all look really hot. Yeah, they really got our best side. I didn't know I had a good side. They found it. Mine's front home.

Mine's ever so slightly to the left. So yes, thank you very much again to everyone who came to that show or the tour, which was an awesome way to finish, like just said. And we should say that Matt isn't here currently. No, he's fine. He's fine. He's fine. I mean, you just heard him on the episode.

He's fine. He's fine. He was great. But he's not here right now and that's okay. Because what we need to do now and what we have the privilege of doing. That's right. Is spending a little bit of time celebrating you, the dear listeners. That's right.

This is your time. This is your time. Baskin it. Particularly people who support us at patreon.com slash do go on pod, where there's a whole range of levels and rewards you can get for various amounts. of dollars. Dave, do you want to explain some of the rewards? You can get four bonus episodes per month, including some we've already put up, include a couple that were live on that tour that we put out as Patreon bonus episodes. Matt did a fantastic one in Berlin that kicked off

the whole tour. There's another one. I can't remember what I was. But it was a lot of fun. And there's over 260 now in the back catalogue of bonus episodes that you get immediately if you are on the bonus episode level or above. So hundreds of hours of extra us in your ears. You can also get ad-free listening. You get to vote on topics. You get to be part of the Facebook group, which is a lovely corner of the internet. And now every time we do these shows, these tours around often we organise little chats for people to organise catch-ups before and after the shows. Yeah, people will go out and grab a drink together, meet each other for the first time or catch-up with people.

They've met at previous tours and stuff. It's really lovely. It's a nice community. It's like a whole group of people who came to, you know, five plus of those shows in the UK, which is awesome. and they all know each other quite well now, which is great, and we know them too. And also you get to hear about the shows before anyone else and get discount codes. Yeah. So there's a lot of good rewards there, if that's something that interests you if you would like some extra content

or to meet more lovely people in the Facebook group. And one of the other things we do is we spend a little bit of time with people on the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe package level where they get to submit a fact quota or question. And that has a little jingle that goes a little something like this. this. Fact quote or question. I never quite know how I'm going to do it. That's great.

That's the best way to be. Because it's a surprise for us too. She always remembers the ding and the sing, you know, other way around. Whatever. This is everyone's favorite section of the show. That's not here. We don't know what we're doing. But I'm going to do the honours, which Matt Stewart usually does,

of reading out the people who are submitted facts, quotes, questions, brag, suggestions, recipes, life advice. Yep. It can be anything. Oh, some life advice would go well. actually. I wouldn't mind a bit of that. Hey, I heard you talking about this. I reckon you probably needed a cream. Thank you. If you're a doctor, that'd be pretty good. Even if you're not a doctor, have a go. Have a go. I reckon it's fine because I have recently had some skin issues and a friend of

mine said, oh, just use glycolic acid, babe. And then I went to see a skincare doctor, a dermatologist. And he said, stop using that glycolic acid. So definitely listen to friends and unqualified people. I really thought it was going to go the other way where he was going to say, you should use the glycolic acid and you'd say, I'm already doing that, and then you'd think I could have saved hundreds of dollars. It's so much. I should just listen, but it's the opposite. It's the opposite.

He was like, no, don't use that. That's damaging your skin. He's like, I went to eating for 10 years. I know what I'm talking about. I think I know what I'm talking about, about your weird little skin. So people give themselves a nickname. Yes, a title. A title, which is always very, very fun.

And our first one comes from, and I should say, like Matt, I haven't read these until I'm reading these for the first time. But you're a fantastic reader. Well, I can't foresee any fumbles. Pressure is on. Correct. Our first up comes from Andy Swibes, okay, Swibsy. Swibsy.

But, aka, nickname from Andy Swipes this week, is Loon. Loon. A bit of a loon. L-O-N? L-O-N. Love it, okay. And L-DUN is giving us a brag. Ooh, we love a brag.

We love. Okay, here we go. And Swabsie writes, Hello! Multiple E's, L's and O's. Don't have much to report on. Okay. My last few FQQs have been tedious in brackets, probably.

Hey, your word's not ours. We love them. We never find you tedious. So I just thought that I'd share that I found a cool common loon shirt that glows in the dark. What? Pretty sick. Okay. Bye.

That is a good brag. They don't make glow in the dark stuff enough anymore. Yeah, everything used to glow in the dark in the 90s, didn't it? Or maybe it's just because I was a child. Maybe kids stuff still does. A common loon is a bird. Are you also Googling it? I'm also looking at it up

because I was like, is this a cool band I haven't heard of? Yeah, or a brand, I don't know. But it's a bird. Glow in the dark. My God, that's so good. Glow in the dark bird. That's awesome.

Do you think I'm too old to cover my ceiling with glow in the dark stars? No, I reckon you've hit the age again where it's fun again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you were like 19, what are you doing? I have like a galaxy lamp that I put on mostly when I'm sad or sick.

Now, I know what a galaxy lamp is. I don't tell you what it is. It like shoots like, I probably have pictures. It makes like, it's a, oh no. Is it like a projection sort of thing? Yes. And it makes the ceiling look like a sort of galaxy and it moves a little bit and you can

change the colours of it. And you can also put like stars on. So I put that on and then just like a, I've got smart lights in my room so I can change the colour and stuff of that. So often when I'm sick, I'll put on the galaxy lamp and that and I call it my cosy lights. Can I have a sleep over at your house? No, I can just get you a galaxy lamp. Oh my gosh.

It sounds so awesome. at your house. Why would you sleep over in my house? That sounds like someone who doesn't want to have a sleepover. Okay. I won't be asking you again. I said no. Oh, that sounds like someone who doesn't want to.

Oh, that's awesome. Thank you to Swabsie. Thanks, Swibsy. Congrats on the sick shirt. Yeah, that's awesome. Send us a photo. Put in the Facebook group. We'd love to see it.

Maybe before and after it glow in the dark. Before and during. Lights on, lots off situation. Yep. Next up, we have a fantastic contributor to the show, Murray Somerville. Murray. Some of you might know as one of the greatest artists the world has ever known.

Yes, yep. I see, I was about to say DiCaprio, Da Vinci, I see Van Gogh. I see Somerville. Somerville, the three greats. Murray, of course, has done some fantastic drawings of the pod over the years that we've used as both merchandise and fun stuff we put on the Instagram. He's also done the Who knew it with Matt Stewart logo. Yeah.

We absolutely love your stuff. And let me just tell you that Murray is maybe putting together a poster right now. for another upcoming tour. Exciting. So he did the one that was the, that this show was a part of, the UK Europe tour. Yeah.

And he's doing a matching one. Exciting. I don't want to give away too much, but let me just say, it's his best work yet. And Murray Somerville's nickname this week is Triptych Club, or Triptitch Club carpet cleaner.

Oh, thank God. Has it ever been cleaned? No, but I do my best with like a bit of a spot clean, but we would, A deep clean would be good, actually. Because I think it used to be like a red carpet. It's looking quite brown now. Oh my gosh.

I forgot that it was ever red. Yeah, it was red. That's terrifying. We're going to start taking our shoes off. Yeah, shoes off policy? I think we should wipe our feet at the door. Yeah, let's get a couple of mats. Yeah, get some door mats for sure.

Muzz, thank you so much for keeping the carpet clean. Thank you, ma'am. And Murray's giving us a question, which is, do you have a fact or a story about yourself? You enjoy bringing up because you know that it will get, some sort of reaction. Oh. And I'll give you a bit of thinking time because Murray's done what everyone that we love them to do is answer your own question.

He says, for me, I love it when sharks come up in conversation. Okay. Because I can pipe up and say, once when I was diving in botany bay, I was bitten on the leg by a shark. My winter thick wetsuit took most of the damage. As I rose to the surface in a state of panic, all I could think about was, hmm, I think I just pissed in my wetsuit. So you were warm. That's good. That's good.

You look down, you're like, am I bleeding? Is that warm blood? Oh, it's just piss. Oh, it's just pissed. Thank God. I mean, you've got to be in the 1% of the 1% to see you've been bitten by a shark. So that's awesome. And I know the feeling when you're like, oh my God, I get to bring up my story.

But I'm trying to think of anything that fits that. Because I don't do anything interesting because I'm a homebody. So I don't leave the house a lot to have life experiences. Do you know what I mean? Where people go, really? That doesn't really happen very much. That's such a good question, and I'm going to be thinking of things as I drive home, and I cannot think of anything right now.

What about, like, can you even think of one when you're a kid in prime school, and you're like, I want to tell people this story? My one, that I, if belly buttons ever came up, I used to be like, Oh, God. Well, when I was born, I had, like, the outy of all outies, because I was born with a hernia and I had to have an operation when I was 11 days old to put it back in. And when you look at the photos, it looks, I've got a really, really weird.

Bolly button. When you're a kid, you're like, I love saying this. You really enjoyed telling people? Yeah. Like, because I thought it made me interesting. You know, when you're seven or eight, you're like, I've got something that makes me different. Yeah, because you've only been on the planet for seven years. You haven't really, you haven't climbed Kilimanjara, have you?

Yeah, I suppose like I broke my collarbone at 18 months old and my also, because it's always injuries or body stuff at that sort of age. My elbow used to pop out of its socket a lot. Couldn't do whizzy-dizzies. Devastating because wizzy-dizzies are so fun. And I still wish that someone was like a giant and could wizzy-dizzy me. And if you're not sure what a wizzy-dizzy is, figure it out by context. See, that's something that you could, you know, you're itching to bring up.

Yeah. But, yeah, elbow used to pop out of its socket. And they used to have to put my arm in a little sling. Just this tiny little four-year-old walking around. Look at all sad. And I just want a whizzy-dizzy. The other thing I'll say is, like, for any of the adult versions of this, because I think Murray has one that is still impressive when you're an adult.

So good. Like, forever. I mean, I have so many follow-up questions, like, what kind of shark? Yes. Because if, you know, I don't care. Like, even if it was a tiny little shark and it just kind of nibbled you, I'm still impressed. But if it was like a great white and you live to tell the tale, that's insane. Murray, more information.

Please. And were there any, you have any scars or anything from? Yeah. Can I see? That's awesome. I feel like anything else on that level. I would have definitely brought up over the last 10 years on this podcast. I don't think there's anything else I can. I'm not sitting on a shark level story.

Yep. But that's got to be one of the coolest submissions to the hat in the long time. Yeah, that's so good. Thank you to muzz on that one. And finally, I'd like to thank this week Tamara Potts. Pottsy. Pottsy. And Pottsy's given themselves the nickname, Queen of Winter Sniffles.

Oh, that's, yep, somebody's got to be the queen. That's right. A bit going around at the moment. And the queen of Winter Sniffles Tamara Potts has given us a question. Okay. That was, if you were to open a shop together, what would it sell and what would you name it? Okay. Obviously, we're selling books. You want a bookshop? Yeah, I fucking love bookshops.

Yeah, I'd love to open a quaint little bookshop. Quite little bookshop. Are you kidding me? Dave, can we have, because Matt's not here, so I'm guessing if Matt was here, we would also, because I'm... Oh! Okay. This is so exciting. Okay, so like borders back in the day, but going to be way more cozy books and coffee. Oh, do you reckon that I could have a little pie warmer?

Like, only a dozen on the boil, quite on quite at the time. Yeah. Any one time. Yeah. We don't have a full kitchen, but we could do pies and like some, we've got some really cute little pastries and cakes and stuff. Yeah, that's right. Anything in a cabinet, we don't, yeah, like you say, we don't need actual cooking utensils. But they're very nice and you can come in, you have a coffee and a little bit of cake and you read a book.

Yeah. But then maybe at night, um, you know, It's like a bar slash bookstore. So we're open like Thursday and Friday night, maybe Saturday nights as well. I would have a little stage for like a podcasty like on a live poetry or something. Or yeah, somebody like just with an acoustic guitar. Yeah. Yeah, a bit of music.

So we do small shows. Yes, a little bookshop. And it's got like really comfy chairs everywhere. And plants. Lots of plants. And you can buy some of the plants too. Yes, and cute little pots. And they're not too expensive.

Sometimes pots that are really cute are really expensive. I can't justify that, but that's so cute. Yeah, now we keep it reasonable. We're reasonable. And what about for a name? Do read on. That's actually really good. Do read on is actually a really nice name for a bookshop.

Is it? I think so. It was just first idea, you know, I'm open to suggestions. Because, well, here's one from Tamara, who's also answered the question, which I love. Tomorrow's suggestion is, my suggestion for you is a brewery called Brewgo on. Okay, that's better. Yeah, that's better.

That's really good. Oh my God, Bruggo On works for coffee and tea as well. It's called Bruggo On. And we still do books, though? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, that's actually awesome. That's really cute. But does it do beers as well?

Because Matt would love that. At night, when it's a bar. Oh, yeah, Matt's in charge of all the beers. Yeah, and I'll do coffee because I love coffee. Well, maybe we have like... I'll make you a matcher. We only need, like, two beer taps at any one time, I reckon. It's not huge, but Matt's in charge of like, there'll be one regular one and then, like, you know,

some sort of obscure American beer or something. Yeah, but it's just a cool vibe. and people come in for like a drink or, you know, coffee and read a book and... Should we do this? Yeah, bookstores, they do really well. But it's not just a bookstore. It's a coffee shop. It's a pie hut.

And you make a lot of money on coffee as well. Pies... We might need more pies. All right, more than 12. I need one time. So cute. Man, this would be so great. I got really excited about that bookstore.

I love bookstores. Me too. Where should we open it? Somewhere cool, I reckon. Fitzroy. Yeah. Yeah, you want it to be somewhere where, like, people could stop in for a drink and it's just a nice chill vibe. Sure vibe.

Do we need to go further north as everything's expanding up high street, up north could all... Thornbury, Preston sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we could do that. Rent would probably be a little bit cheaper than Fitzroy. And we should live above the shop. My dream. Oh, my God. All of us, though?

Yes. Oh, my God. But I, typically those apartments, it's like a small apartment, maybe a one better. We just... That would have worked. 10 years ago, but unfortunately our lives have moved on. No, but oh man, I've just realized that we're just doing black books. I'm Bernard Black.

I'm friend. Matt's Maddie. Matt's Manny. The mysterious aloof, very funny. Long hair, beard. Oh my gosh. Wow. My dream.

And I'm the cantankerous owner. Okay, you can live above the bookshop? Yes. Or maybe we just have like a cute little office slash podcast studio up there. Oh my gosh. So we're always around. Yeah. Because I go to a, I go to a, I don't want to docks myself actually where I go.

Never mind. Can you be vague about it? No, I go to a nail salon that's also a bar. Oh, okay. So you can have a cocktail while you get your nails done. And it's just a very nice experience. I don't have a cocktail. But you could.

You love the idea you could. I usually go at 10 a.m. and I have a coffee. Oh, that's good. They do that too. Oh, no. I've told the time as well. Oh, no.

How many of these places are open at 10 a.m.? A few. you. Anyway, so, you know, that's the kind of vibe we go with the bar of like, yeah, other bookstores exist. Yes, other bars exist. Yes, other coffee shops exist. We've just curated a nice vibe, a nice experience. All right, that's it. I'm getting a kick starter going. We're going to open this. Brew go on. Brew go on. Tamara Potts, you really are the queen of winter sniffles. Yeah, you can tell you about sniffles. This is something, you want to talk about something fun and

enjoy us. You've really inspired us. I got so excited. Me too. I actually think there's a great idea. Should there be a cat that lives at the shop too? I don't even like cats. I love prefer I'm more of a dog person in Midley, but I love it. Well, it couldn't be my dog. No. He's too excited. You need a dog that's just like old and is so used to the shop that it just sleeps in a corner. Yeah, it looks up and goes, oh yeah.

Yeah. So like a cat's probably a better idea. Yeah. A little black cat. With big green eyes. Oh, yeah. So cute. We put a little like, you know how you can get like cat beds that sort of stick to windows and stuff?

We put one of those in the window and the cat just sleeps in the window. And then we do merch and the t-shirts with the pick. with the picture of the cat. So Brugel on. Tote bags. Tote bags with a cat. Little stickers, pins. Little stickers you can put on your Kindle.

And what do we call the cat? Bruno. You are so good. Let's do this. I'm actually so excited by this. Is that insane? Yes. It's a bad business move.

Is it? I feel like it could be huge. All right. Start doing some research into bookshops and cafes and we'll see what you think. Yeah, so funny because I've never worked at retail or in a cafe environment. It's so good. I'm like, how hard could it be? I mean, a bookstore that has been in the Melbourne CBD for over 100 years just had to close the other week.

Really? Should we take it over? They're probably just retired. CBD's pretty good. Maybe they thought, you know, we're making too much money. Everyone's buying books full price, they said. I said Amazon Schmammazon. Oh, man, it's just so exciting.

If Thursday night's open mic night, Friday night, we do a live pod. No. We have a rotating thing. No one's going to that. Who goes to live podcasts? Yeah, you're right. Certainly not 700 people in London. That would be insane.

Well, thank you for the inspiration there to Mara Pott. And thank you to Mara Somerville and Andy Swives. The next thing we like to do is shout out a few people. And in doing so, we give a little, not a little reference to the episode, which casting our minds back was about Pez. Yes, it was about a man smuggling Pez dispensers into the US. So I was thinking, what are they smuggling? Okay. But let's keep it away from drugs and, you know.

Right, yes. Properly illegal things. Okay, nothing that actually legal. Okay, I love it. So we're going to go one for one here. I reckon. So we usually like to shout out about nine people in episode. These people have signed up on the shoutout level of above over the last sort of six months-ish.

And first of all, I would like to thank from Ithaca in New York State. Thank you to Groovtastic. Oh, groove-tastic. Well, they have allegedly been smuggling in coffee beans. Coffee beans. Yeah, but like... Really? It's not so much the beans that's a problem.

It's the quantity. Are you talking like three? Three beans. Yeah. Like, what's the point? Why are smuggling in three beans? Like, customs would have questions that say, what are you going to do with this? What's going on here?

I've got questions. Yeah. You've only got three beans. Why? They're like, oh, I just felt like three cups of coffee. Yeah, no, you need way more beans than that. I've never had coffee before. I thought I'd try it, but I thought start small.

I don't overcommit. Well, if I don't like it, and I've got a whole bag. I go, okay, you're hiding something else. So thank you, Groovtastic. Thank you, Groovtastic. Next up, from Tacoma, Washington, Dan Boer. Dan Boer. I was saying Boer.

Dan Boer has been busted trying to smuggle in a really nice butter chicken. Oh. A lovely curry, but you're not allowed to. You're not allowed to bring meat in. No, true. But Dan's there going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is like my mum's... It's a really nice butter chicken.

This is my mum's specialty. I wanted to have this on my holiday, bring it into Australia, but the customs have said, absolutely not. Can I tell you a quick story? I'd love to. Every time we... So there was an Indian takeaway place fairly close to my in-laws, and every time he was in Sydney, my partner would go and get a butter chicken

because he loved their butter chicken specifically. And to the point where sometimes he would call to place an order and he'd say the order and they'd go, Aiden? Really? And he didn't even live there anymore. No. He visited every few months. And they're like, Aiden, is that you?

And he's like, yes, it's me! Like, they delighted in seeing him. And the best part about that is butter chicken, that's got to be the most common order in many Indian restaurants. How did they know it was Aiden? It's not super specific. Aiden? Aiden?

Is that you? And so he would always go and get butter chicken to the point where one time they said we can like give you some frozen ones and like and package it all up so you could take it back to Melbourne with you. And he was really tempted by that. And I was like, no, don't do that. And then a couple of years ago they suddenly closed. And he was like, surely they've just moved. Surely. No.

He goes on their website and there's a thing saying they're closing. Dan, thanks so much for, and you could leave a little, like, a comment or something. Or, like, contact them. Any contact them was like, I'm so sad. This was the highlight of my visiting Sydney. Honestly, it was so funny. Oh, no, but that's devastating that you can no longer. Can't get his favorite butter chicken.

That happened to my favorite fish and chip shop. They disappeared until the night one day. Oh, devastating. The best batter. Oh, gosh. But I love that Dan Bueh has tried to pull an Aden in real life. Yeah. Just the fact they're like, oh, we sell frozen ones so people can take them home and put it in their freezer and whatever.

You could take those on the plane or something. I'm like, you're not putting that in the suitcase. We're sharing on this particular trip because we didn't need much. So we just, no. Not having all of my undies smell like butter chicken. That would need to be like in a lead seal container. It was not going to end well. Anyway, sorry for derailing, but a bit of fun.

Love that. I would like to think from Edinburgh and Scott. a beautiful city that we know and love. Love it. I'm going to have a great go at your name here. Ruadri Primrose. That cannot be. Riadri?

That can't be right. Ruidri. I'm so sorry that I'm not giving this the justice it deserves. It's a beautiful looking name. Yeah. R-U-A-I-H-D-R-I. We've got our friend Julian. It's an ad first.

Okay, no eyes. And the eyes got a little accent on it. I think it could. could be. Oh, it's a Gaelic origin name. Google comes up. Rory is a given name of Gaelic origin. It's the Anglianization.

We're looking at how to pronounce these names as well as have to say more interesting, but often confusing Irish names that many get wrong. So it makes you to stay tuned to the channel if you enjoy learning about those. Now, in certain parts of Ireland, it's said as... Get to the point, Julian. Hang on. Ruri. Ruri.

In English, this is generally said as Ruri. Ruee. You've said the same thing there twice. Ruri. Rurie. Love it. Beautiful. Rory Primrose.

Yeah. From Edinburgh, Scotland. Rory was found, I hope we're saying that correctly. Please let us know if we're not. Rory was found trying to smuggle in little Scotty dogs. Eaps of them. Truckload. A truckload of Scotty.

That would be the cutest thing. Lost count at about 400. I was the best day ever. I mean, hopefully they're only in there for, you know, under an hour. Oh, they all had a bed. Okay, good. It's full four-star, five-star. Five-star, they were having a fantastic time.

Yapping away, having a beautiful time, those little Scotty dogs. That's great. I love those dogs so much. So cute. Next up from Annapolis in Maryland in the US. It's John. John. I'll say an impossibly starting with an M if we're looking at your email.

Or maybe a P. That's true, actually. Oh, I can see it's a dot and then another couple letters, which indicates maybe that, you know, you're doing, oh, actually, it's for, Jesus Christ. I can't say what I was going to say without giving it away. Exactly. But John, know that we love you.

Even though you've been caught smuggling in pineapples. What for? What for? You want to make a peanut collada. Delicious. But it was like dozens of pineapples. Right, dozens. John was thirsty.

This is what he's telling people who's busted him. He must have been in Thailand and been like this pineapple just hits different. The pineapple, they frothed up so well, don't they? So good. The way they blend it? Yeah. It's just, it's beautiful. Delicious.

Ice cold. Yeah. You can't get that anyways. He's trying to make doll whip. Yeah. Delicious. The way you've described that, I really want to try it. It's like one of my life's goals is to eat doll whip again.

Let's make it happen. I don't have a lot going on. So thanks, John. Thank you, John. that was me so now it's your turn I would like to think from Edge Hill Queensland it's Teigen Teigen

Also a certain name possibly with P Teigen has been Jukuzed Oh no Jukes smuggling in thousands

of misprinted key rings What are they meant to say and what do they say? They're meant to say Chanel They say channel But Teigen is hoping that enough people

don't look close enough And people go, oh my God, five bucks? Yeah. Yeah, for a key ring. For a Chanel. I love a Chanel key ring. You actually can buy a Chanel key ring because my wife was joking about buying a Chanel handbag. Like, say that I should buy that for a birthday, even though I start at $10,000 or something.

And what? Your wife isn't worth that to you? You're a real piece of work. Absolutely not. I know I'm still saving up day by day. I'm going to get there by the time she hits 80. But I jokingly said, I can afford to buy you a Chanel key ring. And then I looked it up and they are actually for sale.

And they're like, but they're still like $300. For a key ring. Yes. Well, that's why five bucks is a good deal. Yeah, absolutely. How closely is your wife going to look at it? I'm going to look at it. And she was like, I know you think it's funny, but don't buy me Chanel Kearing.

Like, it's not worth the joke. I'm like, I'm going to get your Chanel keyring. Just like she's going to get you a dash cam. Yeah, any day now. Any day now. So good. Thank you, Tegan. Hey, good luck.

Next up, I'd love to thank from Kilmore in Victoria, Sean McCauley. Oh, Kilmore out in the country there. Sean has been busted trying to smuggle in. What about this? Oh, moths. Oh, no. Bags of moths. I hate moths so much.

Yeah, people hate moths. I'm scared of them. But, you know, like animals love eating them. They're just so like... Yeah, yeah, they're really not very nice. I don't like them. They're unpredictable. It's going that way.

Suddenly it's in my face. They're just a bit dusty looking, like a dusty butterfly. I don't like them. Yeah, Sean's been smuggling in bag after bag of moth. Wow. Okay. Sean, that's weird. It's weird, Sean.

But, hey, everyone's got to have a hobby. You're going to Sean's house. It's full of moths. Are they alive moths? Yeah, they're flying around. It's all very humane. No, I don't like that. Having a good time.

I don't like that. Sean's like, yeah, I've got some housemates. About 2,000 of them. And they're all moths. I'm never lonely. Thank you, Sean. Next up. You're sick on.

You're sick on here. From Calgary over in Canada, thank you to Nick, Dick. Nick Dick. Or as a Kiwi would say, nook, dick. Nook, duck. And I'm sure everyone from New Zealand loved that. Everyone from Canada, equally loved it. Also enjoyed it.

Nick was actually found, I mean, it's funny that he's Canadian because Nick was found smuggling in maple syrup. Really? Yeah, because Nick visited Australia and maple syrup is just not the same as home. You know, it's not authentic stuff. So then Nick was like, I've got to get the people of Australia decent maple syrup. They need to taste the difference and then they'll never go back. And this is going to be good for my country because then people are going to, like the export of maple syrup will only grow. Yeah.

So yeah, Nick was sort of single-handedly trying to. to change Australia. Slightly smaller than last time's a maple syrup high-heist sort of style. Yeah, slightly smaller than that, but not far off. Yeah, not far off. Pretty good. Hey, second's pretty good, no. Nock.

Nock. Sorry about that. From Springfield in MO. Don't tell me it's Missouri. Montana. No, Missouri. It's Missouri. Springfield, it's Cynthia Mixer.

Cynthia Mixer. What a fantastic name. Yeah, that works really well together, doesn't it? Cynthia Mixer. I like that a lot. has been busted trying to smuggle in hundreds of lipsticks. Oh, what kind of, what brand of lipstick? L'Oreal.

L'Oriol lipstick? Yeah, deep red. Whoa, just one shade. Yeah. Okay. Cynthia was like, oh, I'll open a shop, lipstick shop. People walk in and go, all right, what shades you got? Red.

Deep red. What else do you need? What other lipstick would you need? Cynthia's like, looks good on me. This is my preferred color. What do you mean you want a pink? I want a lighter one. A corally red.

Why? What? Just get deep red. It just goes more with my season, my coloring. No, you'll have this. Makes my eyes pop. You get what you get. That deep red really washes me out.

So Cynthia's really good. Now, Cynthia's like, I've got to break back into Luriel and smuggling a few different colors. Yeah, you need a few more shades, babe, I think, yeah. But, you know, we're all learning in business, as Dave will learn that our bookshop slash cafe is not doing well. I don't know about that. Okay. I mean, you know, making a bill. billion dollars in the first year.

Is that pretty good? That's my aim. And how did you get on the Forbes rich list? I opened there, a bookshop slash cafe. We do podcasting as well. Does it sound tedious? Oh no. Somehow people come.

Yeah, I'll do it because I do it for their money. Do it for the money. You're dead British. No way. I'd like to think. From South Melbourne, closer to home, Thank you to Phil Buick. Phil Buick.

What a name. And Phil was found to be smuggling overseas. Dim Sims. Wow. Is this from the South Melbourne market? Yeah. I mean, they're famously good. They're famously very good.

And it's sort of similar to Nick and wanting to bring better maple syrup to the world. Phil was kind of like, I've had dim sims elsewhere. And they fucking sucked. Compared to these. Other people, they're eating dim sims going, ooh, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. And they don't know what they're missing out on. They know what they're doing. And I must say, if you're not familiar with a dim sim, that's popular in Australia.

Yes. Lovely, either steamed or fried snack that you might get at a fish and chip shop. I don't think I've ever eaten a dim sim. Oh, I think every time I think I'm going to like it. And then it's disappointing. But people love them. Yeah. My dad always loved a couple of dimies.

What's in them? One of those kind of. Yeah. Yeah, it's like sort of, I mean, for people who it's kind of like a spring roll sort of filling kind of thing. Is it? Okay. I'm looking at up. There's a wiki page.

Dim, of course. Chinese inspired meat and vegetable dumpling style snack food, popular in Australia, less than a extent, New Zealand. Popularized in the 19th, what is he didn't know this, by William Chen and Wing Young, a Chinese, sorry, that's his full name. It's on two separate lines. William Chen Wing Young, a Chinese immigrant in Melbourne who originally came from Guangdong, father of celebrity chef, author and TV personality, Elizabeth Chong. Okay, we've lost Dave to a Wikipedia rabbit hole.

Well, Elizabeth Chong, who's 94 years old. And that's what Phil was trying to take to the world. And Phil, it does say here, main ingredients, meat and cabbage. Delicious. I think you should just swap it with Canada for a bit of maple syrup. Oh, yeah. A bit of a trade. Just do a trade.

That's nice. Yeah. We try each other's delicacies. Love it. Thank you so much to Phil, Cynthia, Nick, Sean, Tegan, John Roury. Did we decide on that? Yes. Dan and Groovtastic.

And, oh, well, I guess that's kind of all we have to do because this week we do not have any inductees into the Triptitch Club. Oh, we can all take five, relax. The people that are already in there, this is a hall of fame for people that have been supporting the show for three consecutive years or above, or a longer, I should say. And, yeah, I mean, they're already in there. They're enjoying music, food.

Yeah, plenty of really, really hot drinks. You're never going to believe the musical artist I booked this week. What? I mean, You know, it's actually unbelievable because I've booked. I'm just checking out of the email. Yep, they've confirmed Australian hip-hop artist Pez. No way.

Pez is here. We got Pez? We got Pez. Oh, that rules. We were trying to get Pez for ages. I know. And then they're going to, Pez said, I'll be there on the Pez episode. And I said, no, you won't.

He called my bluff. You see. Good for you, Pez. Thanks, Peas. So that's exciting. But that, I guess, then, brings us to the end of the show. What do I want to tell you? What do I want to tell you?

tell you. Oh yeah, I love you. Hey, I love you too. Thank you. No, I was talking to the audience. Oh, damn it. Thank you once again to everybody who came not only to the London show, but, you know, especially to the London show because we've just reheard that relived that magic, but who came to that whole UK, Ireland and Berlin tour? We had such an amazing time. If you would like to suggest a topic, you can. There's a link in the show notes, and it's also on our website, which is do go onpod.com. And you can follow us on socials. Do go on pod or do go on podcast on TikTok. DW, boo this baby home.

Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. Can you believe it? But until then, thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Loos. Bye! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester.

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