Two In The Think Tank - 512 - The Disappearance of Aimee Semple McPherson

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

In 1926, Aimee Semple McPherson was one of the most famous women in America. She was an evangelist and healer who attracted huge crowds, and her popularily was growing by the day. And then one day, she disappeared ... This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:13 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.vanityfair.com/style/story/american-grifter-sister-sinner?srsltid=AfmBOoohPbKTz8EwfLIXCEDCNdItCge9YIJ_GNuFPikt7KJllUBToByBhttps://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2025/04/21/sister-sinner-claire-hoffman-book-reviewhttps://medium.com/california-dreaming/aimee-semple-mcpherson-the-enigmatic-california-cult-leader-and-evangelist-59539854bbaahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Aimee_Semple_McPhersonhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aimee_Semple_McPherson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Big announcements, specials online available and tours to announce. Dave, what are some of these details? We are touring around Australia and New Zealand for the first ever time to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We're 10, baby. We're 10. And we are hitting up these places between now and the start of 2026. We are hitting up Hobart, Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney, Adelaide, Perth, Auckland, Wellington and Brisbane, all with live Do Go On shows on sale now at Do Go Onpod.com. So pumped.

Some of these cities we're getting to the first time ever, including Canberra and Hobart and Wellington and Auckland. And we haven't been to Perth and Adelaide in quite some time. So I really pumped for that. I'm also doing a Who Newark, Tour before that. It was starting as of now going to Brisbane, Sydney, Newcastle, Adelaide and Hobart, then over to the UK to Edinburgh, Cambridge, Birmingham, Manchester, Swansea and London. And also, Dave, you and I, we've got our specials out available now on Humdinger. That's right. If you're not able to see us in the flesh,

you can watch us online for free at any time at YouTube.com slash humdinger Studios, I believe it's the address. But just type in Humdinger Studios or my name or Matt Stewart's name and our specials, our stand-up specials are there right now. The one I'm touring, I should say, is a new show compared to that. So you can watch it and then comes to me. And that's a whole other hour. Wow.

What the heck? That's a lot of hours. What's going on here? Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Devornikey, and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins. Hi, Dave, you're my best friend, too. You know what? I've got two best friends this week.

What? And the second one is Seren Jiamond. Hello. Hi, David, you're also my best friend. Thank you, Jess. Hello, Seren. What a beautiful almost triangle of love we've got going on here By the end, Serene and I will be very much in love

Now, we're stoked to have you back You're always a fan favourite here In terms of us, we're a fan here My best friends Yeah, I don't know what our listeners think And I don't want to know Give it to yourselves, shut up, shut your trap You got thoughts, keep them

You can tell me, you can message me privately If they're positive Yeah, oh yeah, true If they're negative, shut up Yeah, please keep that to yourself. But if you feel positively about me, keep that to yourself. I don't want to know about it. You don't want to know?

No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Too much pressure. Oh, okay, you have to live up to being good. Exactly. I don't want that. I don't want that. Don't expect, you'll see me in the street that, like, we're going to have a nice time. It's probably going to be weird and a bit awkward, and you'll be like, oh, she's kind of rude.

Oh, it's too much pressure for them as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, here we are. Anyway, here we all are. Should I explain how the show works? for anyone who may have forgotten. We'll just say as well that Matt's fine. Matt's fine.

Saran, you'll agree that Matt's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All reports. Yeah, perfect. All reports. I mean, I haven't had any reports, but if there was one, it would be fine. No news is good news.

That's what we've always said. We haven't heard from him. We can only assume, fine. No replies in the group chat for weeks. Fine. I've not done anything to him. No. Just to be here.

Me either. It was so weird that you didn't even know that Matt wasn't going to be here. You just mess just saying, hey, if Matt's not there this week, I'll be there. Yeah. Oh, actually, he's not writing back, so... So that would be great, yeah. But now I think about it, it's a little suspicious that you knew. Anyway, great to have you.

Great to have you. Now, what we do here, we take it in terms to report on a topic, which is often suggested to us by one of the listeners. Go away, do a bit of research, bring it back, and basically report on what we've found. Jess, it is your turn to report on a topic this week. Yes. Now, Serena and I, we both don't know what the topic's going to be.

So we always start with a question to get us on to the topic. I think you're going to like this question. Okay. Okay. My question is, in season 11, episode 11 of The Simpsons, Bart pulls a bucket off Homer's head, and that leads to a career as a what. Is that a caropractor?

Oh, no, that's the bin. You remember that magic bit he falls onto the trash car. That's right. No, this is a bucket off his head. After they've... Is it after? But anyway, they come across a tent where something's happening, a big sort of show.

A religious healer. Yes, he becomes a faith healer. And because there's no way you would have heard of today's topic, which is an evangelist and healer by the name of Amy Semple McPherson. No, you're correct. I haven't. Yeah. Well, it's only been suggested by a couple of people,

Chris from South Wales and Bridget from Sydney. And I suspect, although I didn't check exactly when they made these suggestions, but a book came out in April of this year, 2025 and a couple of news articles were written about it and it sort of like brought this story a bit more, you know, to the forefront. Okay. So I suspect that might be where they've heard about her. But I'll give you a little bit of background and like let's just get stuck in.

It's exciting. I'd love to. Had you come across the story? Can I ask? No. You found it in the hat. I love that. Thanks for everyone who suggests topics.

It's a story that resonates with people in South Wales and New South Wales. Exactly. So it must be. Crossing borders. Old and new. And it is based in the US. So, interesting. Speaking of triangles of love.

But it starts in Canada. So Amy was born. She was born Amy Elizabeth Kennedy in 1890 in Salford, Ontario in Canada to James and Mildred Kennedy. Her father was a Methodist. Her mother worked in the Salvation Army soup kitchens. So Amy grew up with a lot of early exposure to religion. As a teen, though, she started to stray from her mother's teachings. Teen Amy read novels and went to movies and dances.

I'm sorry, what? These were very, these were not activities that the Salvation Army and the Methodists approved of, okay? I don't know that we were talking about a rebel without a cause here. This was huge acts of rebellion. Novels. She's reading novels. But movies as well. Oh, my, movies.

Movies and dancers. Yeah. What the heck? A boy might have seen her ankle. It's the devil's triangle. Ridiculous. So, from Wikipedia, in high school, she was taught the theory of evolution. She began to ask questions about faith and science, but was unsatisfied with the answers.

Never ask questions. Don't ask questions. That just really, that leads to trouble. Yeah. Okay. She wrote to... What do you think faith is? Yeah.

Yeah, it's not asking questions. It's fake. Even when you probably should. She wrote to a Canadian newspaper questioning the taxpayer-funded teaching of evolution. This was her first exposure to fame, as people. nationwide responded to her letter and the beginning of a lifelong anti-evolution crusade, which I find kind of funny that, like, she's taught about it in school, she questions it a little bit, she questions it sort of publicly and people really respond to that. So then she's like,

great, I don't believe in evolution there. It's like, no, you haven't, you're still not questioning it. You've just really liked the attention of people agreeing with you. Yeah. Okay. That's a great way to make your life choices. He's rallying against evolution, trying to get D, evolution going, like trying to get us to go back into the oceans and sliver around? I will not go back in the ocean. I'm far too seasick for that. And I don't like being wet. It's cold.

I don't want to. So while attending a revival meeting in 1907, McPherson met Robert James Semple, a Pentecostal missionary from Ireland. At the meeting, she became enraptured by Semple and his message. After a short court ship, they were married in August 1908. at a Salvation Army ceremony. She dedicated her life to Jesus and converted to Pentecostalism.

Semple supported them as a foundry worker and preached at the local Pentecostal mission. So even preaching, not full-time gig. You've got to work at the foundry as well. You've got to do open-mic preaching. Yeah, so do you work your way. Club. It's a tricky ladder, but, you know, it's all about who you know.

Jesus. Do you know him? Do you know Jesus? I actually don't. No, well, you're going to really struggle in this industry. You're going to need Jesus to give you a good word. The good word. If only he could put in the good word.

I'm really happy. I've got to laugh out of surrender. He's not a difficult laugh, but it just felt really good. I feel like I've been laughing all along. I'm glad. Just let me have it. There's another one. Oh, my gosh.

I'm crushing. Matt never laughs. He just nods and stares at me. Matt never laughs and then he gets them all out of one go, like every two or three years. He just lasts a four minutes straight. We just sit and wait. He nearly dies. It's beautiful.

I wish he'd just spread it out a little bit. Honestly, just have a two second laugh here. Two seconds laugh there, Matt. It's good for the soul. You don't have to bottle them up. So the couple moved to Chicago and they joined William Durham's full gospel assembly where Amy was taught the practice of interpretation of tongues. You know when people are speaking tongues? Yeah.

She now, she can understand tongues. Oh, wow. Is there a duo lingo for that? Must be. Back then, yes. Yeah, I've heard of speaking tongues, but I've never known of a tongue whisperer. Well, what's the point of speaking tongues if nobody's understanding? Like, you know.

I thought that was the point. The preacher's got to know what's going on. Yeah, true. Okay. I guess. So you can be taught in that? Apparently so. Yeah, right.

Yes. And she became quite good at it, apparently. So Amy and Robert, they went to church. China in 1910 on an evangelistic tour. Unfortunately, they both contracted malaria, and Robert also contracted dysentery, and he died while in Hong Kong. Oh, wow. Amy, who was about eight months pregnant, luckily recovered from malaria,

and gave birth to the couple's baby daughter a mere 29 days after Robert's death. So sad. In her husband's honor, she named the baby Roberta. Oh, she's nice. Yeah. You could have Serena. If you're... If I die.

And my partner has to name it, yeah, a baby in my honour. Yeah. I think that's a nice touch. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. Of course, she's given birth in Hong Kong. You know, because that's why she and Robert had gone there. Has she learned how to speak tongues or she's just learned Mandarin?

And back then, they're like, speak a tongue. It's just a different language. Yeah, they both of it. Maybe Latin and that was it. Yeah. You meet a Chinese person, you think that they're speaking in tongues all the time. Wow. This person's really connected to God. We got to get this person to a preacher, ASAP.

Asking for directions. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. This is terrifying. Very tonal. Very tonal. Very tonal.

I've been thinking that I think Australian is tonal. Okay. Yeah. So I was thinking about the phrase good on you. And I think that can. mean so many different things depending on the tone, because it can quite literally just mean, like, good for you. You're like, oh, good on you. Or it can mean, good on you. No, I mean, very different. Yeah. Oh, good on you. Yeah. I don't know what that means.

It can be quite aggressive, too. Like, yeah. So, I think Australian is a tonal language. That's a theory I'm working on. Australian is a tonal language. I love that. So anyway, she's thinking about staying in China, but her mom, Meldred, sent her the money for a return ticket to the US, so she decided to go home. Once back of the US, her mom got her a job at Salvation Army, and while in New York, she met an accountant named Harold Stuart McPherson. They married in 1912 and moved to Rhode Island and had a son named Rolf.

It's a great name. I said it weird just then. I went too hard on Rolf. Yeah, I vomited that word. Sorry, Rolf. That's better. You gave it a Ruffle. Yeah.

They named their son in touch. They name their son, Rolf. It's just a name. It's just his name. But she didn't want to name her son in honour of him. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the first husband got the honour. He got Roberta.

Well, he, because he died. Yeah, that's he said to his son. You have to die. Or I don't really care. Or it's Rolf. Or it's Rolfe. Or it can just give him another name. His name's Rolf.

I did name him after you. He disgust me. Rolf. And that's how I will be saying our son's name. Rolf. It does sound like a. Robert. Rolf.

Yeah, Rolf. Get him's ready. Yeah, Roberta gets the beautiful Roberta. Rob. Dinner's ready. This is my son, Rolf. Such an honour. So things are pretty good, but Amy felt like she'd sort of denied her calling to go preach.

It was an emotionally distressing time for her. It culminated in her falling quite ill with appendicitis in 1914 from Wikipedia. She later said that after a failed operation, she heard a voice asking her to go preach. After accepting the voice's challenge, she said she could turn over in bed without pain. So the voice says, she'd go preach and she goes, okay, and then no pain. Yeah. That's got to mean. Not much of a challenge. Hey. Okay. Would you mind? And it says asking her to go preach. Hey, if you've got, do you reckon, would you be up for that? Yeah. No pressure. No good if not. And she said, no, I could probably do that. No pain. No pain. Wow. You're still probably going to

get it looked at though. Pencilitis. A failed operation. Yeah, you should probably be monitored. But anyway, so, and she obviously did so, because that was in 1914. In 1915, her husband returned home and discovered that she'd left him and taken the children. A few weeks later, he received a note inviting him to join her in her evangelical work. So she really took this voice in the calling very seriously. Apparently, Harold did follow her, but with the intention of bringing her home. Oh, okay.

He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, this is ridiculous, let's go. But then he saw her preaching And he changed his tune She's that good He fell in love all over again Yeah She was glowing Gary Chris wrote in his book

The Mirage factory That Harold joined Amy Setting up tents for revival meetings And preachings The couple even sold their house And lived out of their gospel car Despite his gospel car Is that just a regular car

They've called the gospel car Go get the gospel car I mean I googled it Because I was like what the wrong is a gospel car. And it's like, it's a car, and they've written gospel car on the side of it. I think it would sort of be similar to having like a tour bus now maybe. Oh, okay, because I was picturing like a Pope-Mobile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glass windows, only two seats. I think kids are running out back. More of a buggy. Yeah, yeah, I think this is a car. And I suppose, yeah, if a family's living out of it, it's got a bit of space. Makes more sense. But it's slightly bigger than a Pope-Mobile.

How good a preacher is she that she can convince her family to live in this buggy? That's right. Imagine seeing someone so good you go, well, you're so good, we're going to sell everything. Let's sell the house. Like, she'd have to be very good. Yes. Yeah. Did you, the author of that book, was it Gary Christ? Gary Christ. It's not Gary Christ. Yeah. It's. Can you tell? Is that total between Christ and Christ? It's K-R-I-S-T.

Oh, I also thought, wow, this guy's really destined to write this book. Gary Christ. Or I've never seen the word Christ written down. What are you talking about? Jesus, Christ, I think. Jesus Christ. Christ? Jesus Christ. We've got it Christness? Oh, Jesus Christ.

Does it make sense? Jesus Christ. See, it's tonal. Yeah, and that's not blasphemous. No. Jesus Christ is. It's a little loophole. We just start saying, Gary Chris.

Carrie H. Chris. Oh, Gary Christ, who farted? Oh, Gary Chris, that's a bit blue. Anyway, so despite, his initial enthusiasm, Harold began leaving the crusade for long periods of time in the late 1910s. Initially, he was sort of attempting to launch his own career

as a travelling evangelist, which I don't think was going as well for him. That would be brutal. Yeah, imagine like your spouse being better at you than something. No thanks. Absolutely not. Marvelous Miss Maisel, right? Yeah. No wonder they got divorced.

Eventually, he returned to Rhode Island and he's normal accounting job and the couple divorced in 1921. Oh, he went back to accounting. Yeah. Well, that's everyone's a nightmare. It might just be mine. It is, yeah.

Think about it daily. The long walk back to KPMG. It's not something I think about. No. Having never been or studied to be an accountant. Yeah, I think, oh my God. Yeah. What if all this goes, tits up and I have to be an accountant again?

Yeah. Or for the first time. I go, I go retrain. Gee whiz, what if I'd have to go be a journalist? Because that's what I studied, but it's been so long. I don't think I know how to do it. I think it's okay. So, Amy's career as an evangelist was beginning to take off,

and she obviously had something about her that drew people in. I mean, her husband was against it until he saw her preaching, and then even he had a crack at preaching. You know, so she's obviously pretty good. So she's a charismatic leader, for sure, and I am not leading to a cult story. I just, as I wrote charismatic leader, I was like, oh, no, they're going to. Yeah, that's where I thought this was going to think cult. It's not, we're not going there.

Okay. Well, um... The cult of Gary Chris. Gary Chris. Carrie Chris. She was really inspired by evangelist and faith healer Maria Woodworth Etta, who had broken the glass ceiling for popular female preachers, drawing crowds of thousands,

and her style influenced the Pentecostal movement. In 1916, Amy embarked on a tour of the southern United States, and again in 1918, this time with her mother, Mildred. Standing on the backseat of their convertible, McPherson, preached sermons over a megaphone. Very Popemobile-like. Yeah.

A really pivotal moment in her career was a string of services that she held in Baltimore at the Lyric Opera House where her faith healing demonstrations attracted large crowds. Was it the Baltimore Opera House or the Baltimore Opera House car park?

She's standing on the bumper of her car. She's played all the prestigious car parks. Sydney Opera House. No, she's actually in the Lyric Opera House. Okay, she's made the big time. She's made a big time. And the crowds, this is a quote, their religious ecstasy were barely kept under control,

like it was a frenzy. The other pivotal move in her career came in 1918 when she and her daughter both became sick with the Spanish flu. Amy's case wasn't too bad, but Roberta was seriously ill. And according to McPherson, while praying over her daughter, she experienced a vision in which God told her he would give her a home in California. So far a lot of her visions or interactions with the higher power,

just in some sort of sick delirium. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy this story, at the turn of the century, how much of it is just like, oh, by the way, then she also got sick again. Yeah, yes, yeah. Yeah, with something awful. Yeah, with something at that time, life-threatening.

She's been through it. Yeah. So, God says, you'll be given a home in California. She's like, great. So in October, she and the family drove from New York to L.A. over two months, with McPherson preaching revivals along the way. From Wikipedia again, McPherson's first revival in Los Angeles was held at Victoria Hall,

a 1,000-seat auditorium downtown. She soon reached capacity there and had to relocate to the 3,500 capacity Temple Auditorium where people waited for hours to enter the crowded venue. Wow. Afterwards, attendees of her meetings built a home for her family. Oh, my God. In California.

Exactly. You were given a home. At this time, Los Angeles was a popular. vacation destination, rather than touring the United States, McPherson chose to stay in L.A. drawing audiences from both tourists and the city's burgeoning population. I mean, obviously, that's very nice that they build her home, but I'd love, like a free home is a free home, but would you, like our podcast listeners, if they band it together, to build you a house? Would you want the house? It's not going to be the best house.

Why not? You don't think we have any architects in there? You might have some architects. Yeah, okay. You want the people that know what they're doing. I want somebody who can, like, properly make a plan and then I'll give that plan to my brother. So you get a bit of say. He's a builder. He's a building.

You probably don't have any builders listening. They're listening to Triple M. Yeah. I don't think, yeah. I don't think. Can you imagine a work site? 7 a.m. This podcast blaring.

The neighbours, oh, it's just me going and then this happened. And then we make some fucking poop joke and we laugh. Oh, horrific. I don't think my brother's ever listened to a single episode because we need him on the team we really need it we need someone who knows what they're doing

but here's the thing the brand that I have very carefully created and fostered for myself with our listeners he's one of a bit of a bitch so I think I could easily be like no fix that hate that next

this is shit yeah who designed this bathroom fuck off yeah where's my dog's room start again So, that's obviously not what I'm like in real life. Serene can attest to that. I'm a delight.

You're a delightful. To take it back to The Simpsons, it does feel like when everyone bands together to build an Ed Flander's house. Yes. And it's terrible. And then it falls down. I just worry that's going to happen to this lady. But back then, 100 years of people did just build their own house, didn't they?

And I'm not sure if they came together and just built it. Well, yeah, true. Maybe they did. It's a one off line, which is so interesting. A lot of people just have like, yeah, my granddad built this house. You're like, how? How? How?

It's a teacher. Genuinely, my grandfather did build a house, like the holiday house we had for many, many years. And was your granddad a carpenter? He was an electrician. Close enough. So the power points were very good. But yeah, we were winging it a little bit. Yeah, but structurally.

The balcony just fall down in multiple. It was fine. A little tied together with cable. My dad helped. My dad helped. He was a salesman. So, you know, it's fine. Yeah.

you're right. I wonder how I'm not entirely sure exactly. I thought I assumed maybe like a fundraising type thing. Oh, I thought it was literally like, but it could well have been. She goes, hey, I've got a vacant block down the street. Get to work, everyone. Yeah, it could have been that. Who knows? So her early popularity came largely because of her faith healing presentations. According to Mildred Kennedy, the crowds at the revivals were easily twice as large as McPherson reported in her letters. So she's sort of like, oh, yeah, maybe a few thousand people. She's like, Double it. Wow.

She's the reverse Trump. Yeah. No one was there. I spoke for hours. No one came. Three people came but they were very nice. But her mom's like, there was easily six there.

And I'm very proud. She said, and the healings were not optimistic exaggerations. Kennedy said she witnessed visible cancers disappear. The deaf here. The blind sea and the disabled walk. Which I have probably like not every disabled person can't walk. But, you know, it's a different time.

There are plenty of disabilities where you can. Oh my gosh, they're walking. They're like, yeah, I walked here. Yeah, I'm blind. I can walk. Look at them walk. Wow! I did it again!

She began broadcasting on radio in the early 1920s as well. In April of 22, she became the first woman to preach a sermon wirelessly. And in 23, four square church was officially founded. That was the church that she sort of created. It's still around today. and they even had their own they owned a radio station KFSG in 1924

and she became the second woman granted a broadcast license by the Department of Commerce. So I've seen, and I don't remember if I have this quote in here somewhere, but she, they kind of, modern day they liken her to, I reckon I do have it somewhere, but it's like, she was really, she was very in touch with like the cutting edge,

the new stuff. So like radio, she was on it she she was like very good at marketing herself and really like broad appeal she was very savvy she'd be on TikTok today 100% she'll be preaching on TikTok TikTok live which I always watch someone's live I'm like bleh so her popularity in fame only grew and she began raising money for construction of a large domed church in Echo Park which she would name Angelus Temple the fundraising went better than and the plans were changed to make Angela's Temple even bigger. It ended up costing around $250,000 to construct.

This is in the early 1920s. That's millions now. And it's considered the first US megachurch. It opened in January of 1923 and according to church records, the temple received 40 million visitors within the first seven years. Gary Christ! Gary Christ! It had like a...

40 million. It had about 10,000 members enrolled. so it's got a very big sort of congregation anyway and then they just had all these people visiting as well. Lots of tourism coming for it too. Isn't that amazing? I will say as well that her church did a lot more good in the community than I expected from a mega church because megachurch just feel a little bit culty and full on. But Matthew Avery Sutton wrote that as McPherson did not distinguish between the deserving and the undeserving her commissary became known as an effective and inclusive aid institution,

assisting more families than other public or private institutions. Because her programs aided non-residents such as migrants from other states and Mexico, she ran afoul of California state regulations. So she would just help anyone and everyone. She didn't discriminate, like a lot of, especially back then, probably still a little bit now, like a church will help their people. Right, you have to be enrolled with us. Yes, yeah.

Be of our similar faith and then, okay. And then, of course, yeah, we'll help you and clothe you, but if you're not, but she was just helping anybody. Men released from prison were found jobs, a church commissary offered food, clothing and blankets to those in need. She became active in creating soup kitchens, free clinics and other charitable activities during the Great Depression, feeding an estimated 1.5 million people. Wow. That's really interesting. So doing a lot of, yeah, a lot of good stuff.

It feels like up to this point of the story, the only bad thing she's done is name her kid Rolfe. Yeah. Yeah Her only sin Yeah Rolf Rolf Imagine being

Your parents Only sin Ralph When the government Shut down The Free School Lunch Program McPherson took it over

Her giving alleviated suffering On an epic scale Is another quote So like We can't afford Free lunches She was like

I'll feed the kids Like She's doing a lot They're making A lot of money She's preaching She's obviously like very charismatic she's becoming very very famous so making disabled people walk she's making

disabled people walk even if they already could and it's amazing and on the flip side of all that good work her sermons sound wild um casey sep wrote for the new yorker her sermons featured elaborate sets and musical numbers borrowed from the nearby a nascent film industry including this is my favorite boxing rings in which she knocked out the devil what that's incredible and a motorcycle that she wheeled across a stage with sirens wailing while calling herself one of the Lord's Patrolman. What a show person. How good is that?

Oh my gosh. Charlie Chaplin once told her half your success is due to your magnetic appeal and half due to the props and lights. So she really puts on a show. I'd probably go to church if there was like guaranteed every week as a new three-act structure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. What's you going to do this week?

Oh, she's going to knock out the devil in a boxing ring. And even if it feels a bit like, you know, like, you know, you watch like WWE wrestling and you're like, I know this is choreographed. Yeah, staged, but that's part of the fun. I'm leaning in. It's a bit of fun. Yeah. Get on board.

Oh, she's in a boxing rig punching the devil. Yeah, I'm going to that. Well, she's got the devil in her headlock now. This is amazing. Oh, my gosh, she's bringing out a chair. I also read that camels and even lions made appearances in her services at times. So Claire Hoffman, she's the one who wrote the book that came out earlier this year. and this is an excerpt from what she had written.

She had an incredible sense of how to use her own image to connect to the public. She was on the cutting edge of the latest technology as she looked for every means to promote her gospel. Amy's influence can be seen today in many of our iconic public figures, both the infamous and the faithful, from Billy Graham and Oprah to Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian, larger than life personalities who have crafted spectacular personal narratives to influence and lecture us from their self-erected pulpits.

Amy was doing all of this a sentient. ago to create and sell the most riveting story her own. Wow. Really cool. Yeah. And here's the thing. That was over a thousand words of background on who this woman is so that you would understand the cultural and media sensation that was caused in 1926 when Amy McPherson disappeared.

What? I knew there had to be a twist coming. Because so far it was just like a lady who was ahead of her time and would be killing her on TikTok. And doing good shit, feeding people, helping people. Couldn't just be that. She has to go and disappear. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

She disappeared. Okay. I'm on the edge of my seat. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or growing your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain and showcase your offerings with a professional website. With Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools,

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Go to squarespace.com slash do go on. So, from Casey Sep again. More recognisable than the Pope, McPherson was often besieged by followers, but the ocean offered an escape from their attention and she liked going to the beach to read scripture and to write and then to take a break from both to swim. So it was a warm May day and Amy and her secretary had gone to Ocean Park Beach north of Venice Beach for a swim. Amy had been working on her sermon for the following Sunday. She set down her notes on a towel and made her way back to the water. She left behind her Bible and a purse containing $200 in neatly rolled bills, which is more than $3,000 and a half thousand

today. So she's just, that's too much money to leave at the beach. It doesn't matter how neatly rolled the bills are. That's too, why are you carrying that? Like a thief opening up your purse being like, oh, this is too neatly roll. I couldn't possibly steal this. Oh, no. This is obviously the money of a very respectable lady.

I couldn't possibly. I mean, and she didn't even do that thing where she, like, put it in a shoe or something to throw thieves off the set. No, it was too neatly rolled. I feel. You don't want to disturb the roll. I mean, I don't carry cash anymore because it's 2025. But if I ever.

had like even a 50 in my wallet, let alone 100? I was like, oh my God. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. I can tell. When I used to work in retail and you had to go and like take cash to the bank to deposit it or get change or whatever, you'd be walking through the shopping centre like, oh my God, oh my God, everyone can tell I have a few hundred dollars on me. Oh my God. She's carrying like three and a half grand. Yeah. Why do you need 200 bucks, babe? I'm thinking that that means that she's probably pretty rich. I think so. Considering that,

and it sounds like she's putting a lot of money back into the community. Yes. But lucky if you are getting the kind of cash, probably doing one. You're doing okay. So she went off for a swim and her secretary, Emma, ran a couple of errands fetching a drink and some candy for Amy and then returned to their things on the beach to just wait and chill out.

But as the sun lowered, Amy hadn't returned from her swim. Emma alerted lifeguards who began a search. Police were called. And the search continued into. the night. Amy McPherson was probably the most famous person in Southern California at this time. So the news spread pretty quickly and the search was taken very seriously. From Hoffman again in Vanity Fair. By dawn the next day, 5,000 people crowded the sands of Venice Beach. Two airplanes

flew overhead scanning the coast. A dozen rowboats bobbed in the waves with divers probing the depths. Farther out, motorboats used grappling hooks to rake the deeper reaches of the ocean. Ow! Having a swimmer in anybody grappling. You're pretty far out. I'm a good swimmer. I'm having fun.

I'm having a nice time. I'm trying to beat a PB. The chaos intensified. A 26-year-old diver died of hypothermia after his equipment failed in the cold ocean depths. A woman, a disciple, floundered into the ocean saying she wanted to meet the evangelist in death, and she quickly did. Oh.

The crowds grew during the week, and by the weekend, according to some newspaper counts, 20,000 people had amassed on the shoreline praying for a miracle. Wow. So, she's gone missing. Two people have died in the search for her. It's this huge search. And the search doesn't bring anything up. Over the following weeks, many sightings of the missing evangelists were reported. Could this have been because McPherson's mother was offering a reward of $25,000?

So, about 400K equivalent? it? Neatly rolled? It was very neatly rolled. Honestly, you'd struggle to unpack it. And take ages. You couldn't just take it into the bank and be like, one house, please. We're all about 18 houses, please. It couldn't.

So on June 5th, newspaper headlines announced McPherson had been found in Canada. Tracked by three detectives, a woman reported to have been the missing evangelist was found in Edmonton, Alberta. She'd arrived there in a studebaker, and the woman checked into the Corona Hotel and was positively identified by three operators as Amy McPherson. So, police go down, and this woman was picked up by authorities. She gave proof of identity as somebody else. It was not her.

And they were like, I'm sorry, ma'am, enjoy your night. Oh, my God. How confusing for everyone. It's full on. So three people were like, no, it's definitely her. That's 100% her. Has anyone asked her? Nah, no, no.

I know it's her. It's definitely her. Get the cops. She's clearly had work done. Yeah. She changed her hair. She's a disguised her identity, but it is her. She's lost a foot of height.

You can do that in the water. It's cold. And here's the thing. This happens a lot. And so it's worth noting that all of these people have only ever seen her in pictures. Oh, yeah. There isn't TV. So you don't sort of see someone dynamically.

So they might have heard her voice over the while. Yeah, quite possibly. That doesn't always help you identify. Yep. So they've seen pictures. and they know she's missing and there's a lot of money on it. Yeah. LAPD reiterated that they were sort of saying to her family like,

she drowned. Yeah. Okay, she's, I'm very sorry, but it happens, she drowned. And the media circus around her death was causing a lot of chaos. So they're kind of like, we need like, let's let this go. But her mother held out hope. Several ransom demands were received, but they were determined to be fraudulent as well. False sightings kept popping up all over the country.

On one particular day, she was seen in 16 different cities on one day. Wow. Those cities are all very close, but, like walkable. But anyway, no. I mean, she's got the gospel car, so. Yeah, you can zip around. 16 different places are like, I saw her. Eventually, even her mother believed that Amy McPherson had died.

Okay. Until. What? You've got to be kidding me. June 23rd, Amy McPherson stumbled out of the desert. The desert? In Agua Prieta, a Mexican town across the border from Douglas, Arizona. Okay, this is, I wish I had saved that big Gary Christ for this moment.

Yeah. This is the big moment. This is a Gary Christmove. Stumbles out of a desert. Yeah. In Mexico. In Mexico. How long after did you say so? That was June 23rd.

She went missing in May. I think it was something like 30 days. Wow. Gary. Chris. Gary fucking Chris. Gary fucking Chris. So she approached a Mexican couple for help and promptly collapsed in front of them.

They brought her inside and helped her as she recounted her story. So this was what she said. She was kidnapped, drugged, tortured and held for ransom in a shack by two men and a woman. Their names that she heard were Steve Rose and another unnamed man. Rolf. Rolf. A fourth person by the name of Filippe stopped by for a visit. She's just trying to like, go and another guy came.

She's trying to, you know, give as much information as possible. I think one of them was left-handed. I don't know. At one point, they drove me around to 16 different cities in the one day. It was honestly, it was too much for a day. I didn't really feel like we'd experience the city. I can say I've been there, but I haven't really done. I don't have any recommendations.

of restaurants, it was fly in, fly out. Sometimes we'd barely even stop. That's the two of life, baby. So Mexican authorities were notified and she was transported across the border to Douglas, first to the police station and then the hospital. As nurses tended to her blistered feet and removed cactus spines from her legs, McPherson went on and on about protecting her daughter Roberta. She claimed the kidnappers had mentioned plans to kidnap.

other celebrities, and she was worried they would go after her daughter as well, given that she had now escaped. But I do find it a little bit funny because at this point, the hospital staff did not know who she was. So they probably think she's just got a bit of sunstroke. She's a bit loopy. They're going to kidnap other celebrities. I'm not a hero.

They're like, yeah, no, I'm sure, yes. Oh, yes. I know. It's all scary. My daughter, yeah. Oh, Felipe. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is your daughter here in the room with us? Luckily, a reporter heard the claims and visited the hospital. Though she was emaciated and barely recognisable, the journalist said he knew her from covering past revival meetings she'd done. So once properly identified, her family and some LA authorities took a train to see her. So her statement taken in the Douglas Hospital explained that while on the beach near, while on the beach, a young couple approached and asked her to come, and pray for their sick child.

So they'd obviously, like, knew who she was. When she went with them and looked in on the bundle in the backseat of a car, they shoved her in. At the same time, a cloth was held over her face loaded with a sticky, sweet substance, later speculated to be chloroform. Treacle. Have that. Sorry about this.

You'll enjoy it. Delicious. My wife's a very good baker. We're thinking of opening a shop. After awakening, she was no longer clothed in her... I'm sorry, she wasn't in her bathing suit. They'd put a dress on her. Still weird.

Don't take her bathers off. Yeah, that's weird. You don't want to ever wake up and not be in the same thing. Yeah, because you're like, how did I get in this? Yeah. Did you see the scars? And the weird mold? Do you think it's weird?

Do you still like me? Anyway. Have you got more of that treacle? I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. A woman named Rose, who displayed professional nursing skills, looked after her. Held for a time in what was a boarded-up room in a house that appeared to be in an urban area.

She was later moved to a remote shack in Mexico. McPherson's statement gave details on how she escaped the desert shack while her assailants were out on errands. She cut her bonds on a metal can lid, a technique she later successfully demonstrated several times before skeptical reporters. Oh, that's pretty cool. And climbed out of the shack's back window. Using a mountain to navigate, she made her way north. I don't understand that. What do you mean you used a mountain to navigate?

It would mean that you know in the desert I guess you're walking in the same direction maybe I'll just keep the mountain on my left Hang on a second last night It was on my right I don't I don't I would die so quick Oh put me in the wilderness

I'd probably just lie down Maybe I don't know It does It's got to be that Yeah So you keep that as a landmark Yeah A similar spot

And then Where are the sun's setting you're like, okay. Or maybe that's it. It's like the sun, the shadow cast by the mountain. You can tell where the sun is. Yeah, people were way more practical back then. Oh, yeah, we're useless.

If I don't have an iPhone with me, I'm fucked. I'd be like, well, I can't look up on GPS where I am, so I guess I'm dead. That'd be so great of it to say. She used her iPhone to know where north was. Just turning around. No. I can't even see the mountain on this fucking mountain. Oh, probably the big green thing.

I was at a park. Hang on. Let me go to Earthview. Oh, God, reception here's shit. She told how she used her garments to shield herself from the afternoon sun. Because she's in the middle of the desert. At this time of year, it comes up a lot later. But it's like high 30s, you know, low 40s in direct sun.

Like, it'd be hot. Yep. And in the evening, lights from a nearby town led her towards civilization. So I'm not 100% sure how long she was. Oh, so when she sees lights from a nearby town, and she just ditches the mountain. I don't need you anymore. I was like, you're welcome, bitch.

I've been here longer than those lights. Let me tell you that. And I'll be here long after those lights are gone. Unless someone blows me up. That would be weird. But, you know, Pave Paradise put off a parking like that kind of thing. Who knows? I'm a mountain.

A mountain having an existential crisis. I'm probably imagining it more like a hill. It's not that big. Blow me up a mountain. mountain would take a lot, but a hill. Anyway, so she's told her story. She's been properly identified. She's been, you know, somewhat looked after and arrangements are made to escort her back to Los Angeles.

Travelling by train, a very strange thing happened that sort of sets the scene for the aftermath of this whole ordeal. Two men boarded the train, both of whom had claimed to have seen McPherson in different places during the time that she'd been missing. One man, realizing a mistake in identity, apologize and and excused himself after seeing her. He was like, oh, I saw her. Oh, no, that wasn't her.

My bad. I'm really sorry. See you later. And he leaves. But the other one doubles down and stated that he'd seen her in Tucson, Arizona on a street corner four weeks earlier in May.

This is an amazing quote. By his own admission, he had never seen McPherson in person, only by photograph. The woman he saw in the street wore a tight, low-fitting hat, shading her eyes and walking with a different gait

than McPherson used. Yet for him, it was those obscured eyes, that confirmed his identification. She's wearing a big hat that's covering most of his face and he's like, that's her. That's how I imagine she'd wear that hat. I don't know if I'd recognize you

in a really big hat. And these people just happen to be on the train and they're like... Because so many people have identified her. Yeah, I wonder. It made it seem like they very purposefully gone on the train to identify her. And he's like being like, Tucson Arizona, remember me?

Remember me? You're wearing that hat. She's like, you were walking with a different gate. You were walking differently and you looked quite different. You're a fantastic performer. But I look the same, which you would remember. From when you saw me, just a few weeks ago. And that kind of behaviour is going to happen a lot more.

Okay. Now, this is the 1920s and something we've learned on this show is back in the day, people love to turn up to look at a train. And about 30 to 50,000 people did just that when Amy McPherson's train arrived in Los Angeles. Just crowds. It was a greater turnout than President Woodrow Wilson's visit to L.A. in 1990. You had been pissed. Attesting to her popularity and the growing influence of mass media coverage.

And from Wiki, already incensed over McPherson's influential public stance on evolution and the Bible, most of the Chamber of Commerce and some other civic leaders, however, saw the event as a gaudy display, nationally embarrassing to the city. Many Los Angeles area churches were also annoyed. the divorcee McPherson had settled in their town and many of their parishioners were now attending her church with its elaborate sermons that in their view diminished the dignity of the gospel the Chamber of Commerce together with Reverend Robert P. Schuller

leading the Los Angeles Church Federation and assisted by the press and others became an informal alliance to determine if her disappearance was caused by something other than a kidnapping. So they just don't like her. She is very famous and she is doing the same job as them but better, and they don't like that.

So now they are just spreading doubt. Does this sort of thing a way to destroy it? Yeah. They're like, she wasn't even kidnapped. That's how they spoke. That's the 20s. So all of this doubt starts to spread about her story and her disappearance.

Leadership of her temple debated whether to let them at a drop, like do they just let it pass or do they sort of push for vindication McPherson herself welcome to the opportunity for more publicity since she saw it as a way to expose more people to her vision of Jesus Christ she's kind of like

all publicity is good publicity you know how people will like turn up to go look at that church that was part of this big scandal she's like then I could get them in yeah once they're here I mean that's half the problem which probably just makes those other people even more suspicious

because she's a marketing genie she's so good yeah that's right It does feel like the ultimate stunt disappear for 30 days. Well, that's right. Yeah, that was definitely something they accused her of. Her mum was against fighting the claims, worrying that things could get out of hand and really detract from their work.

Ultimately, though, an influential friend of the temple and McPherson, Judge Carlos Hardy, decided to go to court and present their complaint. What followed was several stages of grand jury inquiries, all conducted by L.A. Keyes. The first inquiry held in July of 1926 was about charging McPherson's kidnappers whose true identities remained unknown. However, it became immediately apparent McPherson was being interrogated

from a viewpoint of hostile skepticism. Prosecutor Asa Keyes insinuated she was a charlatan who was run out of various cities during her revivals. McPherson offered to show news clippings to the contrary, attesting to the success of her work and requests for return visits. Yeah, I'm popular everywhere I go. He's like, wow, you've been running out of town. She's like, here's a letter from 10 towns asking me to come back. Here's a letter from God. Annoyed, Keyes continued, focusing on the belief that the disappearance was a plot to elicit money for a memorial fund commemorating McPherson's death or for promotional purposes. Her sanity was also questioned. Perhaps she'd simply wandered off suffering from amnesia.

The first inquiry ended with a determination that there was not enough evidence to charge either alleged kidnappers or the McPherson group for fraud. So they're just, like, throwing everything they can of like, well, probably you want money or something, don't you? She's like, well, I've got plenty of money. Yeah. You're all neatly rolled at home. Yeah.

Do you need some? I can give you some. It must have been annesia. You probably, you must be crazy. Right? Are you on your period? It's probably that. You know how they are.

There's a bit of that kind of vibe. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Not necessarily period specifically, but it is a lot of. for a woman. There's a lot of that. Can you, could you ever really trust a woman? Personally, no. I've known heaps of them, and I am one.

You might have a gospel car, but you definitely can't drive it very well. Every time they're driving past a gospel car, they go, fucking woman driving. Well, that's why it's all over the road. I do feel, when somebody's driving really badly and I eventually pass them and it's a woman, I'm like, come on. Please be better You're letting us all down Don't fall into the stereotype That was shit

That was awful drivers you just did You cut across four lanes I want to support you But that was fucking awful And then I go I feel like on the roads I'm doing my fair share Of making it a bit more equal out there

People are being like You're a terrible driver I'm like yes and I'm a man I'm doing both A straight white man I said it couldn't be done Bad driver Yep I'm doing them all

I feel really smug When I see old people on their phones In the car And I'm like Oh yeah It's just young people Isn't it Just young people on their phones

And the old people They stop in the middle of a footpath Because something's on their phone Yeah And I have to take their glasses off I'm sorry I says here That's Jeremy's

Birthday on Facebook I'd better send him a text Now how do that 45 minutes later, they're still blocking the footpath. But young people are the problem. It's just a little tension I have to go on for a bit. You can't trust women.

They're terrible drivers and old people suck. You listen to money's your gold. Old women especially, my God. The second inquiry started in August and was based around a suggestion that rather than being held by kidnappers, McPherson, was cohabitating with her former employee Kenneth Ormiston in a resort town of Carmel by the Sea. Now, maybe I should have looked up.

It feels like maybe they Americans would say like Carmel by the sea. You know? I'm saying Carmel like my auntie Carmel. But they say caramel, caramel. I know. So it's tricky. I think they say every word caramel. Should we just say Carmel?

They just say Tracle. They say Carmel. I love caramel. I don't know why. what to call this town. Yeah, I've heard Cape Carmel before. Oh, yeah, Cape Carmel. Let's say Carmel then.

Okay. But no in my head, I'm saying Carmel. Carmel. And that's not wrong, Americans. It's a name. It's a name and it's tonal. We're tonal. It's a tonal language.

Are you saying, Are you saying, I don't know my own auntie's name? How dare you? Carmel. Carmel. The cottage was rented by Ormiston. So, yeah, a cottage was rented there. by Ormiston under an assumed name of George E. McIntyre.

And Ormiston had been seen driving up the coast with an unidentified woman on the day that McPherson had disappeared. And you say this is her employee or something? A former employee. He'd worked for her up until like the year before. I think he was working. It's kind of like a sound engineer job for a radio station. So some believe McPherson and Ormiston, who was also, who was married, she wasn't, had run off together. Scandalous affair. Now, keep in mind that when she first disappeared, there was multiple, maybe hundreds of sightings of her all over the country. None of those came from Carmel by the sea at that time.

Right. She was seen. It's probably the only place on earth she wasn't seen. She wasn't there. But now, oh, heaps are coming out. So, LA authorities realized that none of their witnesses had verifiably seen McPherson in person, again, only in photos. They'd seen pictures of her probably because of this huge news story. And then...

And they'd often see that picture weeks after they'd seen a person. And they'd go, well, that was probably her. Yeah, I walked past that person. She was standing in the middle of the footpath, sending a text. And I thought, get out of the fucking way. Now I've got to awkwardly get my dog and myself around you because you've just stopped. My dog wants to sniff you. So here's a couple of those witnesses.

The first one was Jeanette Parks, who lived next door to the cottage, caught passing glimpses of a woman wearing a camera. cap and goggles at no closer than about 25 feet. I saw, there was a woman there wearing cap and goggles. I saw her from quite a distance. I was her. Another one was Ernest Ranket, an incredible name, who delivered a load of wood to the cottage,

told a judge that the woman he saw, and he believed to be McPherson, was blonde and no older than 25. McPherson was over 35 and had Auburn hair. He's like, yeah, so a cute little blonde thing. No older than 25. McPherson's there in the court, like... All of this sounds like a boyfriend who's been caught purving.

And it's like, no, no, I thought it was... Maybe. This guy genuinely at one point says like, well, if I see a woman, I look. Yeah. He genuinely says that. And, like, McPherson and her mum laugh in court. Like, they're cooperating with everything and just sort of going along with it, like, Okay. You think I was there? Prove it. And it's very funny.

Another witness was a man named William McMichaels. Incredible. He was a stonemason who'd been working on a fence on the property while Ormiston and his female companion had been staying there. Can I just say, if you're having an affair, they've had too many people like trade tradies around their place. If you're trying to keep it under wraps, don't invite, Hey, Milkman, come on in for a beer. Yeah. Because this is my girlfriend. I'm like, well, I guess like, yeah, they're having an affair, but they've gone to like a cold play concert. They've gone to a cold play concert and you should be safe there. Safety in numbers.

I just think, I think if it is this woman that's faked her own disappearance for 30 days, you wouldn't be inviting the stone mason around or getting some wood delivered and have her waving from the at them from the kitchen. Yeah, isn't that the difference? Like if it's just, if it is just a just a secret affair, you've gone to a completely different town. nobody knows you, nobody knows to be suss of your relationship or to be really making a note of what you look like so you would sort of be like, oh, thanks for the firewood, bye-bye. But you're right. If you're like on the run hiding out, faking your own death, you'd probably be keeping a lot profile.

It's crazy. So you've got this guy who's working on a fence. He saw the woman more times than any of the other witnesses combined. He said at once he was within 10 feet, three metres of this woman on several occasions. And he said McPherson is not the woman. I saw. So he's slightly more credible than the woman who lives next

door and saw little glimpses of a person wearing a cap of goggles and went her. Some prosecution witnesses stated that when they saw McPherson in Carmel, she had short hair and furor ensued that she was currently wearing fake hair. Oh my God.

Like she cut all her hair off and now she's wearing a wig. It's the other explanation. She's got fake hair charged to her hair to trick us. Pull her hair off. So requested by her lawyer, McPherson stood up, unpinned her hair, which fell abundantly around her shoulders, shocking the witnesses and others into embarrassed silence. Oh my God.

It's even longer than we ever thought. It's so long and luxurious. What do you use on it? She's clearly had a hair transplant. It's so shiny and beautiful. Pull it. Pull it. Make sure it's real.

They're like she had short hair. So. It's so embarrassing and so funny. Kenneth Ormiston admitted to having rented the cottage, but claimed that the woman who had been there with him, known in the press as Mrs. X, was not McPherson, but another woman with whom he was having an extramarital affair. So, now, like, he's being dragged into it, too. The prosecution would not let up. They tried so many different angles. They found religious books in the cottage. She's

religious. There's barely any of those in the 1920s in houses in America. So, explain that. And it turns out they belonged to the wife of the owner of the cottage. They looked for fingerprints. McPherson's weren't there. She clearly covered... She was wearing gloves. Yeah. She's wearing gloves. At all times. We found cooking utensils. She's a woman. She was in the kitchen.

She's a woman. She's getting more and more... What other room do they go in? They found a grocery store receipt that had handwriting on it. She wracked? We got her. We got her! The original slip later mysteriously disappeared from the

courtroom, but there were, like, photocopies available. It wouldn't have been a photocopy, but it was that type of thing. The defence had a handwriting expert of their own and claimed to have a photograph of the well-publicized slip, which differed from the photocopy. Oh, gosh. So they contended the reproduction had been maliciously tampered with to resemble McPherson's handwriting. And the slip's origin was also questioned. The original, like, grocery slip would have had to have been in the yard for two months,

surviving dew, fog and lawn maintenance before anybody discovered it. It's amazing how the legal system has, like we put so much faith in it, where the origins of it, like, evidence was just people being like, this was clearly forged. What is this paper? It's crazy. Nothing's real. Nothing's real.

It's just throwing everything. It's absolute bullshit. Since not having enough evidence from Carmel by the sea was obtained to proceed to trial by mid-August the investigation appeared to be at an end. The following January, a jury trial was scheduled to charge McPherson, her mother and several other defendants with criminal conspiracy, as well as perjury and obstruction of justice. If convicted, the counts added up to a maximum prison time of 42 years.

What the hell? So they've never found any evidence of anything, and she's going to trial. We've got to find this Felipe, though. He knows. Felipe knows what's going on. And here's the thing. Here's the thing.

I cannot stress how long. You know when sometimes you look something up? Obviously, for these reports, a great jumping off point is Wikipedia. Obviously, it links you to a lot of other good resources and it summarizes the story for you. You know when sometimes you're on a Wikipedia page and you're like, this is the longest fucking Wikipedia page I've ever seen in my life. It just keeps going. Oh, wow. This is that.

And it's just the Wikipedia page of her disappearance. Then she has one of just her life as well. And it's also insanely long. So I, we're a comedy podcast. I've tried to just like grab the important bits, but there is so much going on in this whole trial and there's like, um, attempted bribery from Mexican officials and there's like, it's, and there's conspiracy of some of the people working on the, it's fucking insane. It could be a 10 part series. I'm going to do it in an hour and a bit. It's, it's insane.

So, yeah, like I said, trying to find the fun bits. Essentially, I guess she's just become such a big name, and this is such a high-profile case. So people are kind of keen to be involved if they can find an angle. So a woman named Lorraine Wiseman-Sealaf came forward and introduced herself to McPherson. She said she was in Carmel as a nurse for her, and her twin sister was there. Her twin sister was Ormiston's mistress, and the twins look a little bit like McPherson, so they're being misidentified as McPherson. So she's kind of gone to her and she's like, hey, babe, this is embarrassing, but I know what's

happened. If I put on goggles, I look exactly like you. If I put on goggles, we are twins. And McPherson's like, oh, this is great. Thank you for clearing that up. And I think she even sort of like has, she lets this woman, wiseman, C-Laf, sort of like stay at the temple, for the church for a little bit while all of this is being investigated. But later, Wiseman Silaf was caught for passing bad checks and blamed it on her twin sister.

When her story became untenable, she requested that the Anglis Temple post her bail, but they refuse because they're like, oh, you're actually insane. She then said that McPherson paid her to tell that story about what happened at Carmel by the sea. She ended up siding with the prosecution in exchange for immunity. And then she implicated one of McPherson's lawyers, Roland Rich Woolley, for inappropriate conduct when they lived in another. state where she said they went to school together. The accusation forced Woolley from the case. Eventually, it was proven that she had lied. They had never met before.

They didn't go to school together. She was like, he was really bad to me when I went to school with him. He's like, what? So she's not the most reliable, reliable witness. So then we have Acer Keys, the district attorney, whose case relied totally on this witness to prove the alleged conspiracy. realized Wiseman Sulaf was giving false testimony against Mrs. McPherson. Keyes briefly considered charging Lorraine Wiseman Sulaf with perjury

as her testimony kept the inquiry going for another six weeks costing $100,000 of yielding nothing. However, for all defendants, he submitted to the judge just dismissed the case. It's like at some point he was like, just forget it. This is wasting a lot of people's time. This is so embarrassing. And it really is. In her own writings about the time, McPherson said that in Los Angeles, ahead of any court date,

she noticed newspaper stories about her kidnapping becoming more and more sensationalized as the days passed. To maintain excited, continued public interest, she speculated the newspapers, let her original account give way to torrents of new spice and thrill, stories about her being elsewhere with that one or another. It didn't matter if the material was disproved or wildly contradictory. They're just like, they're just telling, they're just telling papers. No correction or apology was given for the previous story as another even more outrageous tale took its place. Oh gosh.

And the news stories of the time were wild. A newspaper editorial crossed the boundary of publication decency for U.S. postal inspectors when 75-year-old Abraham Sauer of the San Diego Herald wrote a lurid column about McPherson and her purported 10 days in a love shack. A grocery delivery boy, Ralph Swanson, stated the McPherson answer the... Ralph! He stated the McPherson answered the door when he delivered groceries to a home there. In the newspaper interview, he stated seeing three physicians leaving the Carmel Cottage at night. The news article created the impression and abortion had been carried out.

So they're just coming up with all sorts of stuff. She's off having an affair. She's off having an illegitimate abortion. but McPherson's near-death medical operation in 1914 which prevented her from having more children was already part of the public record. So that was not possible but that didn't stop them writing it

and didn't stop people believing it. There are three doctors and an alien. And we all know it takes three doctors and an alien, two. They're all working together. And it wasn't just the media, the police and the court system were fumbling things as well. There were multiple pieces of lost evidence. They just kept losing things.

Including a page-long handwritten ransom note demanding $500,000, signed revenges, and mailed on May 24th from San Francisco to the Angelus Temple. It was passed on to police and later discovered to be missing from their locked evidence files in October. The much-published grocery slip found at the Carmel by the Sea Cottage that disappeared, as I mentioned earlier. A big blue steamer trunk

purportedly belonging to Ormiston was confiscated in September from a New York hotel. Its contents were inventoried and the trunk was sealed and then when it arrived in LA they checked its contents against the inventory list and several things were missing. How? Why? Okay.

So it's just the whole thing completely fumbled and bizarre. Other theories in innuendo were rampant about what actually occurred and also without evidence that she'd run off with some other lover, had gone off to have an abortion, was taking time to heal from plastic surgery,

or had staged a publicity stunt. Two-inch headlines called her a tart, a conspirator, and a home wrecker. She had once enjoyed only favorable press, nicknamed Miracle Woman or Miracle Worker, up until the time of the 1926 Grand Jury Inquiry. Biographer Matthew Avery Sutton wrote that McPherson learned that in a celebrity-crazed culture fueled by mass media,

a leading lady could become a villainess in a blink of an eye. Wow, they've really turned on that. Through nothing that she's done. Yeah. Wild. It's a cautionary tale for anyone famous on TikTok today. This could have a bit at any moment.

Yeah. If you get kidnapped. Don't you dare think about rolling any notes. That's where she went wrong. Don't put on goggles. Don't put on goggles. They'll come for you. Yeah.

You go swimming in that ocean. You open your eyes and that salt water. You stare at that soft. You stare at it. You let your eyeballs burn if you want to keep your TikTok career. The 1926 grand jury case, the largest of its kind in California, had hundreds of reporters and agencies looking for discrediting evidence against McPherson. Almost $500,000, equivalent of over $8 million today, was spent,

mostly by newspapers assisting in the investigation, and 3,600 pages of transcript generated. It was huge. The record stated that McPherson were, The McPherson Sensation has sold millions of newspapers, generated fat fees for lawyers, stirred up religious antagonism, advertised Los Angeles in a ridiculous way.

A man named H.L. McKinnon said, McPherson was not responsible for the controversy and called it a dirty shame. Officials and others continued to investigate, even years later, but were unable to prove her kidnapping story false. It sounds like she kept her dignity through the whole thing. Like, she's just so calm in the whole of the...

It really read that. way. Yeah. It seemed like she was very cooperative. I think they, um, there's at one point when they're trying to prove that the handwriting on the grocery slip was hers. Um, she was very forthcoming with giving them handwriting samples. Whereas anybody else that they were sort of comparing it to kind of made a bit more of a fuss. Like she was very cooperative with everything. And it just, like even if she did, even if she did fake it or even if she was actually off with Ormiston or who knows, nobody can prove that that's false or true.

Yeah. Like there's no evidence to say that that is what happened. They also haven't. I think they sort of got so lost in proving one theory, right, that it feels like they didn't really investigate the kidnapping very much. No, yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

Oh, I was just going to say, that would be the worst part, wouldn't it? Like, if you're being accused of all this stuff and you're like, I was kidnapped and tortured. Totally. Yeah. It's like when we did the report on Denise Hoskins and the police spend so much time of the really important early hours

interrogating her husband because they've decided he did it when her story or what he said was actually true and that she was kidnapped and they weren't looking for her they were just trying to prove that he did it which he didn't so they weren't finding anything they should have been valuable time exactly it's kind of like all right well like

if he's telling you a story try to prove that story wrong then as well and maybe you'll actually end up proving it right. It's crazy. So the Court of Historical Review and Appeal in San Francisco, which is made up of members of the bench who examine and retry historical cases and controversies. In April of 1990, a decision was handed down

regarding the matter of McPherson's kidnapping story. George T. Cappellas. The names in this have been incredible. The then-presiding judge of the San Francisco Municipal Court found the issues involved both serious and fascinating. He concluded that there was never any substantial evidence to show that her story was untrue. She may not have been a saint, but she certainly was no sinner either, he said. Except for Rolf.

That was the one sin. You all get one. Except for Rolf. That was a big sin. Never have the second child. I say as a second child. So she was born in, what, 1890? So she would have been 100 when she got this?

Yeah. She's still around to be clear. Well, she continued to do her work long after the scandal was over, though her public image suffered a significant hit. She married for a third time to actor and musician David Hutton. And while she was in Europe, she was angered to learn that Hutton was billing himself as Amy's Man and his cabaret singing act.

Amy's Man. Everyone's going to see Amy's husband They're so excited about Oh my God, that's Amy's husband He knows Amy, that's crazy And la la la la la la la la la la She's not happy about that Yeah

And fair enough And well, it was mostly that he was Frequently photographed with scantily clad women Which It's okay, I'm Amy's husband His personal scandals were pretty damaging To the reputation of her church And her as an individual

So they separated in 33 and we're divorced in 34. Again, like, after the disappearance, her Wikipedia page goes for ages. Like, there's still so much more stuff that she's doing. But it does really, it does give the impression that she was viewed a bit differently, although, you know, the church still managed to have lots of members

and still raise a lot of money, do a lot of things. But it's crazy. She continued to travel around the US and the world, continued immense charity work and of course attracting more controversy but all good things must come to an end while in Oakland California for a series of revivals

her son Ralph found her unconscious in her hotel room on September 26 1944 an autopsy revealed a heart attack likely caused by an overdose of sleeping pills which she was taking following numerous health problems like she'd had the appendicitis she'd had

malaria Spanish flu she'd had, then there'd been more later in her life as well. Given the circumstances, there was speculation about suicide, but most sources generally agree that the overdose was accidental. She was 53 years old. 45,000 people waited in long lines, some until 2 a.m., to file past the evangelist whose body lay in a state for three days in the temple. It took 11 trucks to transport the $50,000 worth of flowers to the cemetery.

So 45,000 people have turned up to pay their respects. So she's still obviously quite influential, quite famous, but in a different sort of scale, which is kind of sad. A few of those people looking at her in the cast, they're like, I saw her in Tucson, Arizona. You know what? Yeah, that guy is there. He's like, I fucking reckon it was her.

Hang on, can we put her hat on it? Can we put these goggles on? Can we obscure most of her face? Yeah, that's her. That's how I remember her. Got her. Millions of dollars had passed through McPherson's hands during her life. Like you were saying, Dave,

she had 200 bucks in cash on the beach. She's obviously doing okay. But her personal estate amounted to only $10,000. So she wasn't keeping that money for herself. Her daughter Roberta received $2,000. The remainder went to her son, Rolf. What? Rolf got the majority?

I think Rolf ended up sort of following on and also leading the church for a long time. So maybe that was why, but who really knows? But the four square church at the time was around $2.8 million. So interesting that she was. wasn't pocketing a lot of that. McPherson challenged expectations for women. Her gender and divorces were of particular concern to many fundamentalist churches

with which she wanted to work. But the atheist Charles Lee Smith remarked that she had an extraordinary mind, particularly for a woman. Her legacy lives on in many ways. The Foursquare Church is still going. It claimed a worldwide membership of over 7.9 million a few years ago in 2019. She was a subject of inspiration for numerous books, films, plays, TV shows, a TV film about the events surrounding her disappearance,

which was called The Disappearance of Amy. Oh, The Disappearance of Amy. It came out in 1976. It starred Faye Dunaway as McPherson and Betty Davis as her mother. Wow, good cast. In April 2025, the book Sister Sinner by Claire Hoffman was published, an exploration of McPherson's life, which I drew on a bit in this report. and I reckon is possibly the reason why Chris and Bridget may have been aware of this story.

If you have like a week, go check out the two Wikipedia pages because, my God, they are dense. And there's so much, if you're really across this story, there's a lot that I have had to skip over just for time because I'm not Matt Stewart. I'm not doing a five-hour report. That was actually longer in terms of word count for me, and I did it in an hour 13. Wow. You're efficient. I'm efficient. I didn't let you guys speak.

What a cracking story, though. Isn't that wild? Yeah. Yeah, all the different, like, the, a lot of twists and turns. Yeah. I feel like, I, you always, I was always expecting it in some way she would become a villain. I did not expect this story to turn out that she's just like, this avalanche of, like, popular distrust and kind of conspiracy. And she's just like, she keeps doing what she's doing.

She's doing what she's doing. I mean, I highly doubt she's terrible driver, but she's bad driver. I highly doubt she was perfect and I'm sure she had like plenty of controversy and, you know, some views that we probably wouldn't agree with now. But, yeah, I don't know. She also seemed to do a lot of things that were quite revolutionary. She helped a lot of people. It seemed like maybe she was doing things in an unusual way, but she was, she, her intention behind it was good. Yeah.

It seems. So it's absolutely an insane story. But yeah, and I was expecting, like, she goes missing, she reappears, there's, you know, speculation that she's off having an affair or something. I was like, well, that's got to be it. And then the more you read about it or hear about some of the evidence, you're like, okay, so that's not her. So it's wild and bizarre. It's also so if you were going to, if you were having an affair when you decide it's time to reenter society to, like, cut up your feet and stumble out of a desert. It's a very extreme way to...

Be in a desert for a long time. Just come back from the ocean you went into. Yeah. A bit, yeah. Sort of wrinkly fingers. Rinkly fingers. Sorry, I was just going for a big swim. What?

Is anything been happening here? A PB? I just felt good and I just kept going. Yeah. It's a fun. Look for Harold. So yeah, there you go. That is the story of the disappearance of Amy Semple-McPherson.

Wow. Wild. It had everything. Twist, turns. drama, intrigue. Goggles. A gospel car. It had it all.

It had a gospel car. And a tonal language. Beautiful. Well, Serene, thank you for joining us for this tale this week. My pleasure. Have you got anything coming up? Anything you want to tell people about or ways to find you online? When is this out?

A fantastic question. In a matter of weeks, mid-August, by the looks of it. Yeah, just follow me online at Seren Comedy. on Instagram and TikTok and all that stuff and please join my cult Would you join Seren's cult? Absolutely, I would. Where do I sign?

Yeah, if you join it now, we'll get it going and then in, you know, 10 years it might be, you'll have a story for you. Yeah, actually think getting your first member in a cult must be the hardest part. Hey, join my thing. Great, who else is there? Will you be the first?

That's what they always say. It's just us for now. At pyramid schemes, it's like, oh, you tell three people, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah. If you start with one, it's very slow. Really slow. Yeah.

Do you know anyone? Can you tell them, please? I don't know anyone else. Just me. It starts because the first one, they're awkward about how no one else is in there. All right, I'm getting a small people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I don't really want to go off.

It's just me. Well, we'll spread the word. But yeah, and Serend comedy, the cult of me. If you could join it, please. Well, as we say goodbye to our dear friend, Sarenne, Jiamana. Goodbye, Saren. Goodbye, Sirend. See, you never.

We say hello to some more, dear friends, for everyone's favorite section of the podcast, the fact quote or question section, which is usually introduced with a jingle that sounds something. I like this. You've fucked that. That's not how Matt usually says it. I forgot, do I mention Patreon first or after that was my thing? A fact quote or question. She always remembers the sing, and he always remembers the ding.

Now, if you want to get involved on this section, that's how he does it. Beautiful. Yes. We are supported by people at Patreon. Patreon.com slash do go on Pod where you sign up for some rewards, some benefits. Yes. Some nice things for you. We can be your friends with benefits.

We love that. And in exchange, you give us some little bits of money. Just little bits. Just little bits. And in exchange for... Which is all relative, really, isn't it? And in this time, it's a cost of living crisis. So, you know, not to diminish.

Your hard-earned dollars Exactly, but also What's one more thing Well, it's cheaper than another streaming service And you get You know, and for less than a streaming service You can get four bonus episodes a month That's right, four bonus episodes of months

So basically one every single week We've got a new season of our D&D show That is just started Yeah Which is very, very exciting You can hear about live shows before anyone else You get ad-free listing as well So none of those pesky interruptions at the top

Or in the middle of the show You also get to be part of the fact Sorry, the Facebook group, the most lovely part of the internet. Really lovely corner of the internet. It's such a nice place. And on there, they've been giving out, organising their own hat swaps. Yeah, they've done a few swaps. Group mum, Sophie Schueter has facilitated a few swaps over the years.

Snacks. Magnets. Now hats. Now hat. T-shirts. T-shirts. It's a really nice little community. That's very, very nice.

You also get to hear about live shows, like I said, and discount codes are given out willy-nilly. We love giving you a discount. Can I tell you something? My partner has started listening to ToGo One. Really? Ten years in. Where, what, from the start? No, he just, so he's driving to work now.

Okay. It's like a good half-hour drive and he's been listening to a few episodes. And last night, he says to me, I've been with him for eight years. We've been doing this podcast for 10. He said, can anyone suggest a topic? Or is it just patrons? And I said, I explained that at the end of every single. single episode.

Yeah. And I go, you don't listen to the Patreon section, do you? He's never got to it. And he goes, no, I stopped listening to that. And I said, well, then you never hear me say, if you would like to suggest a topic, you could, and I did the whole spiel that I do at the end of every episode. Well done. And he was like, he was like, well, I should be listening.

And I said, yes, you should. Because the Patreon section is, of course, a time to celebrate our patrons, but it's also just a bit of bloody fun. It's just a bit of bloody fun. And also, do you think it was angling for a suggestion? Oh, probably. And you didn't, you didn't say, you could just tell me and I could do it. Uh, no, I said there's official channels.

You can submit it in the hat like everybody else. There's no nepotism here, okay? Anyway, so the first thing that we like to do is spend a little bit of time with some of the patrons, um, uh, who support us on what level, Dave? Is it the Sydney Shineberg? Yes. Yes. Rest in peace. So as well as the bonus episodes and all, everything else.

These people get to submit facts, quotes or questions to be part of the. actual show. And it's expanded well beyond that. We get jokes, we get suggestions, we get brags. Recipes. We do love a brag. I love a brag. I love hearing about you kicking gold. It's fun. We love any, all of it. So, um, uh, let's get stuck in. I've got three. As Madaway says, I have not read these before right now. So if I fumble, that's, you're a human. And our first one comes from our beautiful Tasmanian listener, Dave Loring. Thank you, Dave Loring. You get to give yourself a title.

Dave's giving himself the title, Soundtrack Connoisseur. Love that. Oh, is it Dave Loring? Loring. What did I say? Loring. Loring.

Oh, sorry, Dave. Just because it rhymes with boring, and that's his little, his explanation. I know how to say his name and I said it wrong anyway. Sorry, Dave. No, that's fine.

Because that's one of those ones like Sophie Schueter. Yes. Where I overthink it and I go back to the wrong pronunciation again. Yeah. Sorry, sorry, Dave says. It's good to just have a little spiral.

I'm panicking. Dave has given us a suggestion, writing, Hey pals, I'm a big fan of Italian horror movies from the 70s and 80s. And while I know that horror movies aren't everyone's cup of tea, I do think everyone should check out the soundtracks from time to time.

Lots of interesting experimentation with synths and prog rock. Of particular note are the theme songs to many of Dario Argento's movies. The main theme of Tenebrae is a jaunty tune suitable for all sorts of purposes, gym, housework, long drives,

as well as the theme from phenomena, which starts off very dramatic and operatic, but then becomes a campy frenzied delight. And while it's not an Argento film, also worth pointing out that for a movie is controversial and nastily named as Cannibal Holocaust, the theme music is spectacularly gentle and calming. No way. Is it a niche interest? Sure. But where in the rule books does it say these suggestions have to have broad,

appeal. Very true. Dave, I didn't know this about you, and I love it. That is a niche interest. Imagine having that in your dating profile of like, because Dave is a, he's, he's an incredibly strong man. Oh, yes. Does a lot of working out, confident he could just lift me up. I think you lift you up on one arm and me on the other. Easily. Probably do mad on his head. I love that he's also really into the soundtrack of Italian horror movies from the 70s and 80s. That rules. I love it. I love. I love. I I love that. I'd look up Cannibal Holocaust, and it just says in brackets main theme. Wow. I would never have thought that that could be a lovely piece of music to fall asleep too. What a fantastic suggestion. Thank you, Dave.

Look it up. Next up, another person we've had the pleasure of meeting, Paul Meller. Oh, Paul Meller. And Paul's given himself the title, A Very Good Boy Last Christmas. Hey. Which I think is nice. That's good. And instead of a suggestion, a fact, a quote, a brag, he's given us.

a missed fact quote of question answer and a little follow-up. Okay. Exciting. This is the first one of these. It says, Hi, guys. So at the live Chris Mish leads, leads, leads,

fact, quote or question show, you read out my question. I asked you if you'd been good boys and girls and what Father Christmas and what you wanted Father Christmas to bring you this year. I committed a cardinal sin and did not answer my own question. Thank you. We do always like people to answer the question if they ask us a question.

I did message afterwards and I answered, yes, I believe I have been a good boy and would like Father Christmas to bring me an Oldham, Athletic Promotion in 2025, please. Either that or some nice Christmas beers. Well, guess what? Not only did I get the beers, but my beloved Oldham Athletic

have just been promoted at Wembley Stadium in the first promotion final we have seen in 35 years. Oh, well done. I was there to witness this with 21,000 Oldham fans and it was magnificent. We had with us three generations of Mellers and I was in tears at the final whistle.

It was the end of 35 years of decline. We are back in the Football League. Matt, I will ask Santa, I will ask for a saint's flag next year. Yeah, you're good luck, Paul. Hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas. Maybe Matt will get world peace soon, hopefully. All the best, a very happy little boy from Oldham. P.S. Apologies and commiserations to any Southern United fans,

your team, did you proud? And Oldham play you when you are eventually promoted to. Paul, you are a class act. Yeah, that's really lovely. I don't remember what I said I wanted for Christmas. I'm going to guess you probably said a dash cam. I was thinking, I'm sure I said a dash cam. And Paul, did I get it?

a dash cam? No, I keep being ignored by my friends and family, even though I say, I'm serious. I really would like a dash cam. Well, we have birthdays coming up. No, no. It's actually been discussed in my household. I've actually said, it's not a joke. I am serious. Please get me a dash cam. In the last couple of years, two people have driven into me, and I had to get them to pay for the damage, and it would have been a lot easier if I'd had the dash cam footage, including one where I was parked at the traffic lights and the car behind me. That's a silly place to park, I don't know, I'm going to play parked there. But I do have my foot on the brake.

I'm waiting and the car behind me decides to go around, but there wasn't enough room. So they just scraped into the back right corner with their front left. And it went and then they just sped away. Why the fuck did they decide to go around? I think they were like, oh, they didn't want to turn anymore. Oh, I see. Go straight. So they just fully swiped me, sped off.

I wrote down their number plate. Nice. Thankfully, this does have a happy ending because I went to the police station and they called the person and said, were you in an accident this morning? They said, no, I don't think so. And then the cop said, can you check your car for damage? And they fully hammed it up and apparently said,

oh, my goodness, there is damage at the front of my car. I didn't even notice. Shut up. It was so loud. There's no way. They just panicked. So anyway, they gave up their insurance details. But if they hadn't have done that,

I would have needed the dash cam footage to prove who they were. So, in summary, Santa, I've been a good little boy. Can I please, please have a dash camp for Christmas? It's so funny. I know. I can be ignored. I'm going to have to, do you want me to have a word with your wife? I think that might be named.

That's really good. Thank you, Paul. Okay, next up, finally, for fact, quote, a question. This week, it's Jocelyn Cravitz. Jocelyn Kravitz. Jocelyn's giving themselves a title, President of the My Parents are Better Than Your Parents Society. my gosh. And honestly, I probably believe that to be true. You can see it instantly. Yeah,

fair enough. Mine are fine. I mean, you've got the confidence to say it. You've probably got some good ones. Like, imagine if your parents are like Michelle and Barack Obama. Yeah. You could probably be like, my parents are better than yours. And I'd be like, fair enough. Yeah, they are. No one's heard of John and Annie Perkins. Anyway, so this is a fact, apparently. Fact, my parents were the best parents, not just to me, but to everyone. And I have the evidence to prove it. Evidence number one, for the annual family

Hanukkah Party. So defensive a lot. It's so good. For the annual family Hanukkah party, in addition to buying every cousin a gift from their list, my mom bought extra presents in case any extra kids showed up. Oh, that's lovely. They wouldn't be left out.

That's very thoughtful. Number two, my aunt died when my cousins were seniors in college and high school. When the older one got engaged, my parents drove him and his fiancé all over Long Island to look at wedding venues. They made sure the younger one finished high school He ended up getting a GED But was allowed to go to graduation And took him to college

Number three, in college When I had an emergency oral surgery My mum stayed in my dorm room To take care of me for three days That's very nice Oh, there's more Number four They went to my high school friend's college graduation

To give his mum a ride And make sure she behaved Number five, when I was in my 30s And couldn't drive because I sprained my ankle My dad came down and drove me to work an hour each way, every day for a week. Wow. That's so nice.

Number six, I was recently talking to a couple of my cousins about my parents and one cousin, who grew up in California, said, my first parents weekend at college, they drove up to Rhode Island and took me to the mall to buy a winter coat. The other added, Aunt Elaine came to Florida for my PhD graduation, but Uncle Ira couldn't come, so he facetimed in and cried through the whole thing. That is so nice. There are hundreds more similar stories, but I think I've proved my point. that is so lovely.

I love you taking the time to dedicate this to your parents. That's so nice. They sound like really. They sound like lovely people. Great people, great family members. Is there any openings in the household? Yeah. Adoptions.

It sounds like they'd be the type that would just take us in. I think so. You know, like 35. Yeah. And I've got parents and a sibling and mother-in-law and, you know, I'm okay. I've got fucking a million aunties and uncles and cousins. But could I join? How about this?

I've got Southern. Hemisphere parents. Ooh. But I don't have any parents in the Northern Hemisphere. Me either. Fantastic call. That's really nice. And I really like Jocelyn that you may be just feeling grateful and sentimental and thought,

I'm just going to use this fact quarter question to have a brag about my fantastic parents. Yes. I would like to say if your parents don't hear this. And I'm sure you probably have the rights and shit where you tell them how much you love them. But you've got to acknowledge how much you appreciate this stuff. Yeah, that's really nice. I really hope you say this to them as well because it's really. If you're playing this to your parents, hello, parents, we are Dave and Jess.

We are your new Australian kids, and we're very well behaved. Dave is toilet trained, but he does have whoopsies. Yeah, like 95% there. Yeah, it's pretty good. I'm getting there. Pretty good. We can both drive. Yeah, that's right.

But, you know, if you want to drive me into work, that'd be nice. I'm okay with that. And I really like gingerbread if you want to make something. Oh, yum. That's very nice. Thank you to Jocelyn Paul. and Dave for your wonderful suggestions, missed fact, quote, or question, answers, and facts.

Facts about how good your parents are. So nice. A fact. What's the next thing we need to do, Dave? We like to shout out people that have been supporting the show that have signed up more recently over recent months, and we like to give them a little shoutout, a little nickname that often comes from the episode, Jess is the queen of coming out with ideas here.

We put that on you, so we don't have to do it, but you're very good at it. Well, at first I was thinking like scandal, Oh, okay. But then I thought, and the wording was pretty funny in my head. I was like, what have they faked? So, okay, because what was the, what was the, she didn't do anything scandalous. No.

So what have they been accused of, but that could go. That could go, what about like, she was accused of looking like someone with, with goggles on? What sort of, what if they've been seen wearing? Yes. But they've been mistaken for someone else. Yes, great, okay, let's do that So some sort of weird item of clothing or an accessory Perfect, yep, let's do it

Okay, we just go one for one? I reckon. All right, I'd like to thank, first of all, from Forest Hill in Maryland in the United States. Hello, and thank you to Ellie Longstreet. You know those like 1920s men's swimsuits that were like shorts and a single little in one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that.

Ellie was wearing those and someone took it with someone else. Yeah, someone was took over. for a circus strong man from the 1920s. And they're not budging that. I saw you. I saw you in the circus last week. And Ali's like, no. No, I just wear these swimmers sometimes.

These are just, they're comfy. A bit of fun. They've been in my family a long time. They're vintage. Next up from New Ulm in Minnesota. No, MN. I think that's Minnesota. Let's look it up because the M's are confusing for us

because it could be Montana as well. It is Minnesota. Minnesota. Or Mzura. No. And who is it from New Orm? It is April Ide. April Ide.

April Ide was mistaken for someone when they were wearing a university cap and gown. Oh, wow. Yeah. At a graduation. Someone was like, that's April. That's April. And April's like, I didn't even go to university. They're like, April, I saw you last week at your graduation.

April's like, no. No. No, that wasn't me. No, it was. I saw you. You were wearing the cap and the gown. I was sitting at the very back of the auditorium, but it was you. It was you.

I mean, you changed your hair in the last week. You went blonde and now you're back to the brunette. That's very clever of you. I yelled out, hello, April, and you didn't wave at me. I thought I've been very mad at you all week, actually. 4,000 people in the room, but also in the back row. I think I'd know. Good on you, April.

Good on, yeah. I would like to thank from a location that has not been provided to us, so we can only assume they are deep, deep within the fortress of the moles. Hello and thank you to Kylie Fox. Funnily enough, Kylie Fox, a neighbour saw a person walking down the street wearing a fox hat and thought, well, that's a bit full on. Well, I only know someone who wears a fox. Fox hat must be. Oh, it's Kylie.

Carly Fox. Yeah, they said, hey, Kylie, what's with the hat? And the person didn't turn around. And they thought, geez, Kylie's been a bit rude today. And again, they were mad at Kylie. No, it's not me. I'm not wearing a fox hat. That's silly.

Why would I do that? Next up from Gossport, Gospit in Hampshire in Great Britain. It's Jules. Jules. Jules was, well, this was a bit of swimming in this episode. Jules was, someone was seen wearing a full scuba diving outfit. Oh yeah. Which obviously obscures your face quite a lot.

A lot. And someone was like, Jules, you didn't tell me you that you're at the Great Barrier Reef last week. You've come all the way from Great Britain and you didn't even say hi to your long-lost uncle who lives in Port Douglas. I sure they'd be like Uncle That wasn't me I'm in England You came all the way to Port Douglas

You didn't even say hi to me What the hell You just went out You thought you could just get away With a quick scuba dive Well I saw you I saw you on the beach Being pulled up on that boat

You came in You were in the full outfit And I said Jules It's me Your uncle That's uncle It's Uncle Kev

And you didn't even wave You just stared at me I understand if you'd You'd come all the way Australia But you'd go to Melbourne That's far away, I understand. That's a lot of those thousands of kilometres.

You come all the way to Port Douglas, mate. You're on my local beach. Not even out live for your uncle kids. That's a little wave. That's all I ask. That's really funny. That's really funny. Okay, your turn.

Next up from another location unknown to us, but thank you to Catherine Crompton. Oh, Catherine Crompton. I like it. Casey. Casey was mistaken for a person who was seen wearing. a bucket hat and groucho masks glasses. People are all right, K, sir, you are obviously having a bit of fun, but you could have still said hi. Okay. Passing as I think I'd still know you. I know if you want a bucket hat and groucher much glasses or the mustache. I know everything.

The big nose and the mustache. You can't get away for that. It doesn't change your very distinct gate. I love that detail in the story of like she walked with a different gate. I think there's many people that I'd be like, I recognize the way you move. I reckon you recognize the way I move. I could tell it's you coming up the stairs when I'm in this office. I've got a very bouncy walk. Yes. Very bouncy. And I've never, I've been told that my whole life, a lot of people. My friend Rowan and Hustle said I have a jolly walk. You do. I mean, it's a compliment. And I never realized how funny it could be until I was walking behind someone who had such a bouncy walk. This is only last week that they had sort of a, it was a man with

combed over hair. And every time he walked a little bit. bit of a tuft went, poof, just like, poof his head, that's how much force he was bouncing with. And I came home, I told my wife that and she goes, that's how you walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll be you if you ever require a comb over. It's very fun. I'm hanging on for now. Who are we up to? You thanking. Oh, me, thank you. That's right. That was KC. Yes. Next up again, from Fortress of the Moles. Jake Swin. Jake Swin's a fun name.

That's a fun name is it? Jake Swin was wearing, was someone was seen wearing at a fancy dress party, they were wearing a costume of The Ridler from Batman. Yep. The Jim Carrey version from the 90s. And someone was furious that Jake.

Jake? Jake, great costume, mate. Great costume. I'm dressed as the Joker. We should do a photo together. And then the person did the photo, but never acknowledged that they were Jake. Right.

Like, he's so deep in the character. And they said, no, I'm Tristan. And he's like, this is weird for you to dress as the rhythm and then pretend to be Tristan. I know it's you, Joe. I know it was you. Look, I've got the photo, the selfie we did together. That's me as the joker.

And there's you. Huh? What do you have to say for that, Jake? Really? I love it. All the people are so upset. They're really annoyed. They're like,

so rude. Honestly, a smile. I'll cost you nothing, Jake. I thought we were friends. But they're always someone that, It's like a long-loss uncle An acquaintance And they're so upset

Saying a Facebook message All right Jack I know it was you I know you don't trust it It's losing their minds All right your turn I'd like to thank from Golbin in New South Wales

Hello and thank you to It's Kate Kate K-A-T-E Let's just say your email There's two words One starts with an L One starts with an R

Just so you know That this is you Your moment. We want to, you don't know. How many Cates could there be in Golden? I forgot that Kate had given their location. I thought we were doing it for a second. I thought everything was blanking except Kate.

But yes, Kate from Goldman. Thank you so much. K-A-T-E. There's bound to be more than one, Kate. Kate's quite a common name. That's true, but they've signed up in the last few months to a Patreon. True. Do you think, I often think if I have to come up with a fake name for myself,

I go with Kate. I think I'd look like a Kate. I reckon you're a Kate. Yeah, easy. And my friend Kate could be a Jess, I reckon. Yes, you two could swap names. Absolutely. What could my one be?

Steve. Steve? You could be a Steve. You could be a Jack. Oh, yeah, I could have for Jack. So if there's one syllable names, James. Yeah, maybe. No, you didn't, that didn't seem to me.

I was thinking because of my middle name, maybe it's easy for you. Yeah, yeah. But I don't think I'm an Annie, you know? Yeah, okay. My middle name's Anne. Yeah, okay. Maybe. Anyway.

All right, I'm a Steve or Jack. Sorry, Kate, we got distracted immediately. Kate was seen, was this my, is me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what was Kate seen? Well, Kate was... Well, that's right. Kate was mistaken for somebody who was dressed as Dolly Parton. At a Dolly Parton impersonator contest.

Someone stood up and said, hey, Kate. That's Kate. Yeah. And it's crazy, actually, because yes, again, they were very upset that Kate blanked to them. But the thing is, it was actually Dolly Parton. Oh, my gosh. How embarrassing. So embarrassing.

And you're like, that's my friend Kate. And then Dolly came third at her own... Oh, no. Lookalike contests. So embarrassing. Sorry, Kate. But right to hear that you look like a superstar. Amazing.

What an honor. What an honor. Next up from Frankston South in Victoria, Colin Denman Jones. Colin was seen wearing one of those paper hats that in Australia we get in Christmas crackers at Christmas time. Those little paper crayons. A little paper crayons. Love that. I'm just not sure if they get them.

I feel like we've had confusion in the past about this. Because we call them bonbons as well. Bonbons. So Christmas crackers. You get a little paper crown in there and they're always a different colour. And then you get the whole family to put them on for a photo

and someone always refuses to put it on. You know why? Because my head's too big for them. They don't fit on my big Irish head. Not on the big bonts. But so on was seen wearing a yellow one and so on was furious because they thought Colin was at their Christmas

and they blanked them at Christmas. Colin! Colin! They said, I'm not Colin. I'm Phil. I'm your uncle Phil. And they're like, no, Colin, I know you.

I know you, Colin, we went to school together. Again, lying like that person in the episode. Cole, Cole, Cole, over here, Cole, Cole, Cole. And this just happened when the hat went on. Because before that, they were like, that person looks kind of familiar, but I don't know. Maybe it's, I guess they just have one of those faces. Hat goes on, that's Colin. Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, pass the mashed potatoes, Colin, Colin, Colin.

Really ruining Christmas for a lot of people. And then Colin was like, that wasn't me. Yeah, Colin was on holidays. I was at my own family Christmas. I'm not related to you. I was at my own family Christmas in Port Douglas. My uncle Keth. He's a great guy.

On your Colin. And finally, I would like to thank from Chicago, the windy city, as we often say here, from Illinois. Thank you to Ivan Orovan. It's a perfect time for me to yawn. Ivan. Ivan was actually seen, it was another fancy dress, seen dressed up as Dracula. And someone was like, Ivan.

Ivan. Ivan. And then, I was okay, you can say, staying in character in front of the kids, but please just acknowledge me.

Yeah. Your primary school friend. Yeah. Your long lost friend. I haven't seen you 20 years. Ivan. But I'd recognise those teeth anyway. Those are real teeth.

You always had those vampire teeth. Ivan. Ivan. Ignolge me. And again, sent a Facebook message. And Ivan said, I haven't seen you in 25 years.

Dear Ivan, thanks for Blake. Dear Ivan, thanks for nothing. Thanks for nothing is a funny thing to say. Oh, thanks for nothing. So thank you to Ivan, Colin, Kate, Jake, Catherine, Jules, Kylie, April and Allie. What an absolute bunch of legends. The final thing we need to do before we get on out of here, we skedaddle. And I do the speech my husband's never heard.

is to welcome some people into the TripDitch Club. Now, these are people who have supported us on patreon.com for three consecutive years. They're welcomed into an exclusive club. I like to think about like an airport lounge still. I think what I picture to surround the TripDitch Club is just like a runway. But Dave, you see, we've got airport facilities. I've got people in an airport. out.

True. Well, once they're in, they can't leave. But why would they want to? We have everything they possibly need. We've got multiple air hockey tables. We've got Dave Books bands. I'm behind the bar. We've got a full kitchen.

You've got everything you possibly need. There's little sleep pods if you want to go have a kip. Exactly. Once you're in, you can never leave when you induct you. But why would you want to leave? I literally just said that. I literally just said that. Sorry, I was checking my email to confirm the musical artist that I've booked in.

I love working with men. They cannot multitask or listen. I cannot, I was like, can't believe she's missed that bit. I did that bit verbatim. I better say it. I do. I better say it. She's probably bleeding menstrually.

Genuinely, get a hold it. I'm like, email, email, email. And I was trying to pad because I knew you were trying to check the band. I was like, God, I've really zoned out for a second. So, okay, I do. So I just want to reiterate, once you're in, you can never leave. We need to put that on, honestly, it should. be part of the terms and conditions because

honestly, we can't have you coming in and leaving. Should we put it on a hat? That's pretty funny. While you're waiting the line before the velvet wrote, we hand you a hat, have a read of that, and if you consent, put it on. Yeah. That's how you sign for us. I like that. And then you run in with a hat. And everybody has hats on. That's cute. You're in a uniform. It's a cult. So this woman's name was Amy Semple-McPherson.

I've taken that. Instead of Shirley Temples, I'm making Shirley Semples. That's some of your best work, yeah. Can I check on the temperature of the Shirley Semples? Oh, they are scolding, God, yes. As intended. As God told me in a dream. So we've got really, really hot Shirley Temples.

Matt is usually the one lifting the rope. I'll do that this week. Dave, hype some up. But, yeah, Dave, you've checked your emails now. Oh, my God, you've never got to look, who just confirmed? You never believe who disconfirmed, considering that you just said the name of the person's about McPherson. Yeah.

Well, performing live in the club this week, we've got J.D. McPherson, American singer-songwriter, known for a retro sound rooted in the rock and roll rockabillion rhythm and blues music of the 1950s. J.D. McPherson. I'm familiar with their work. I really love Lucky Penny. No, that's not my favourite. Um, what's your favorite? Uh, probably their second most popular one. Oh, that would be Northside gal. Yes, Northside gal. That's my favorite. I'm really hanging out for crying is just a thing you do. That's so true. All caps. That's so true. I do cry. That's the thing you do. Sometimes.

But he's had 400,000 months of this one's on Spotify. So he's doing pretty well. Jayne McPherson won't be taking the stage and we appreciate him confirming tonight. Huge. Well, Dave, we have three inductees into the Triptitch Club this week. I'll read the names out and where they're from. You'll hype him up. I'll hype you up.

There'll be none of this Matt Stewart negativity and we'll be able to just have a nice day. Thank you. Just lovely. I'm going to go get some lunch after this, everyone. Oh, cute. Okay, first up, here we go. From Singleton, New South Wales, it's Melissa L.P. L.P.

That stands for, let's play. Woo! From West Beach in South Australia, it's Aiden Molloy. O'Polloy, it's Aidan Malloy. And from Boston, Massachusetts, it's Caleb Plummer. Did someone call an electrician? No, I called a plumber. Caleb Plummer.

That was good stuff. Thank you. Caleb, Aiden, Melissa, hey, kick off your shoes if you want, if that don't stink, and get comfy, chuck on your hat, come to the bar, get a scalding hot Shirley Temple, as the Lord intended, and get yourself ready for J.D. McPherson, taking the stage. Wow, Northside gal. I've requested. He opens with it, and closes. Look, thank you so much for listening. And if you've listened, and if you've listened to all this way. You're better than my spouse. Wow. That says a lot. If you've listened to

all, you're better than my spouse. So thank you. We're very supported and loved. And if you would like to suggest a topic, you can. Anybody can. You don't have to be a Patreon. There's a link in the show notes. And it's also on our website, which is do go onpod.com, where you can also find information about our other podcasts that we do. We've got a little network going. That's right. If you want a quiz, who knew it with that's Stuart. If you want to watch a movie or think about a movie with primates and popular culture, you got primates. That's right. If you want to hear about a classic book and you can't be bothered actually reading, reading it, you got book cheap. Okay, we've got you covered on

three things. Basically, I mean, that's everything. And we do, like, you know, we do a very broad range of topics. So really, we've got you covered for like general knowledge, make you more interesting at a dinner party. That's our vibe. That's the aim. Um, that you can follow us on social media do go on pod.com. Oh, sorry, that's our website. At dogo on board is social media, dogo on podcast on TikTok and Dave, boot this baby home.

I've actually joined TikTok recently. I'm embarrassed to say. I know. I followed you. Thank you so much. After you followed me. I followed you. Can I just say one of your TikToks,

it does include you with goggles on. And I thought, McPherson? He thought, oh my God. Amy McPherson? Amy McPherson, that missing woman. The thing that's so great about TikTok and social in general is that people will follow you because you're a comedian and then forget you're a comedian and then explain the jokes that you're making to you. So some people in the comments of that

were like, this was really funny when it cut to you wearing goggles. That's so good. And I'm like, that was my favorite bit too. That was the joke. That was really funny. Did you know that? I'm just, um, at the moment, just posting clips from my stand-up special that you can watch a whole thing on YouTube, but I, I realized you need a thousand follows before you're allowed to put a link on TikTok. Did you know that was like? I did not know. that. So I was like, I'll just link to my special, because that's all I want, just to direct people to watch my stand-up show. So if you want to follow me on there, get me to a thousand so I can have a link. That would be very kind. I don't even know if I have, I do have, I have

2,000. Yes, Jess, you're killing it. Wow. You're crushing you and your goggles. It's good stuff. That's good stuff. So anyway, we'll be back next week with another episode at The Great Man, Matt Stewart. We'll be back to join us. But until then, thank you so much for listening. And as we always say here, goodbye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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