Do Go On - 531 - The eBay Stalking Scandal

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

This is the frankly unbelievable story of how far eBay employees went in 2019 to deal with both a small company and a Twitter user being critical of their CEO and company. Harassment, intimidation, doxing, cockroaches and a dead pig... welcome to the eBay stalking scandal, featuring special guest Kirsty Webeck!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 10:14 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/26/technology/ebay-cockroaches-stalking-scandal.htmlhttps://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2021/12/02/ebay-ecommercebytes-stalking/https://www.ebayinc.com/company/our-history/https://www.britannica.com/money/eBayhttps://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/sep/29/ebay-executive-sentenced-couple-harassment-newsletterhttps://www.ebayinc.com/company/our-purpose-in-action/https://www.valueaddedresource.net/ebay-cyberstalking-security-staff-settle-execs-face-trial/https://www.justice.gov/usao-ma/pr/ebay-inc-pay-3-million-connection-corporate-cyberstalking-campaign-targeting Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Block. Happy Block. And what better way to celebrate Block? And 10 years of Dugawan than hitting the road, we are doing some shows around Australia and New Zealand. All the shows have sold out. So we've added extra shows in Perth, Brisbane, Auckland and Wellington. Yeah, it's so exciting.

So exciting. You know, you never know. You never know people are going to want to come. And people are coming all over Australia and New Zealand for us. That's right. And if you want to come to go to dogoonpod. com. We'll see you there.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky, and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart. Hello, Dave Warnocky. Hi, Matt Stewart. So good to be back with you, Cobra. Great to be here with you. And this week, we are joined by a very special friend of the show, Kirstie Weaver. It's back.

Yeah, hello. Hi, Kirsty. So good to have you in Kirstie. I know you're busy leading up to the big festival season. It's also Christmas Eve. Can you believe that? Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you.

I can't believe it. It is Christmas Eve and it's my favourite day of the year because each year I send a message in the family group chat that says Merry Christmas, Comma, Eve and to all of you as well. And Eve is a family member. Nope. But I've done it. I've done it for about 15 years. So it doesn't get any response?

Standard response? Yeah. I mean, it used to kill in the family group chat. So it gets a few love hearts. It still gets love hearts. Yeah. That's true.

It's nostalgia. Yeah. Yeah. They love it. Like that would be my, like, if you don't get that message from Kirstie, she's been kidnapped thing. That's right. Christmas kidnapped

Oh, that sounds like a rom-com or something You know, Netflix presents Or an action movie? Oh, yeah, it's a romance. Hugh Grant saves me. Oh, yeah. That would be awesome. Can I just say if people, if you don't mind,

would people at home be able to try that message in their family group chat and just let us know how it goes? I'd love to hear the responses. Don't forget the comma, make it grammatically great. You should have to do that. Merry Christmas, comma, Eve. And is it a same? A whole of you as well.

That's all of you as well. As second message or is that all in one message? You actually, you can try both. I've definitely dabbled in both. Yeah, I like the idea of working. Yeah, I like to do an ellipsies as well and then leave like a few lines. That's great. And then and to all of you as well.

That's beautiful stuff. I guess you should wish a Merry Christmas everyone around the world. You know, people will be listening to this driving to their family things probably, you know, in places like Saskatchewan. in places like Uzbekistan Tokyo Tokyo On the way to get some KFC

That's a big tradition That's true Dandy Nong I reckon Los Angeles Oh yes La La Land La Land Tinsletown

I reckon I reckon this will be Yeah Hot to go in Tinsletown This could be huge Yeah And then of course The majority of people

Will be listed to this after that And so yeah Just disregard everything We've said Don't worry about this But Kirstie This is a busy time

for comedians in Australia, working up to the comedy festival season. Got all the big festivals coming up early 2026. Are you dabbling in those? I am, yeah, it is usually... I'm only asking you because I am. And what's your show called this year? So it's called Lost for Words and you did just say that it's a busy time of year for comedians in Australia, which is true usually.

But this year it's quite unique because it's actually only a busy time for me. me because all of the other comedians have cancelled their tours inexplicably. So if anyone wants to see any stand-up next year, unfortunately, I'm the only one touring. Fantastic. Sorry, how to find out this way, Matt. Well, no, I think, uh, Kirsty doesn't think of me and Serena's comedians. So we haven't cancelled. Me and Serena's still doing our spoken word.

Yeah, I mean, I look at that more as slam poetry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have been slammed in the press. people don't rarely laugh but they often click they do click and you've also been slammed on my Instagram so um the Instagram slam yeah

so I yes I'm touring loss for words I'm touring it all around Australia in New Zealand and who knows where else was Beckastain was mentioned before yeah it could be it could be yeah there's an ellipsies after that I mean we don't know maybe I'll go further a foot next year You've got to check Kirstiewebeck.com, probably.

You've got to check Kirstiewebeck. For up-to-date details. That's correct. Yeah. Yeah, all the info is there. Shows going to be a belter because I'm very good at what I do. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

That's why they call you the only still working comedian in Australia. That's exactly right. Yeah. I never got that before. No. Now, oh, that's why. Because she's literally the only one still working. And that's, yeah.

Yeah, please. Go along. Also, it's Christmas Eve, if you're in Australia or New Zealand and you've got that one person who's got to make a purchase for. Last minute present. Last minute present. And what a beautiful present that is as well, to give them tickets to Serrano and Matt Stewart's Flam Poetry Night.

Man, I hope we can do a late change on the title. What's the working title? The working title is Seren Jiamana and Matt Stewart in Matt Stewart and Surin Jiamana or or vice versa. That's pretty good. It is pretty good But have you accidentally entered it in comedy festivals? Yes

Okay They did Well, none of them asked any questions Right They weren't like what's your slam poetry show Yeah, because comedy The comedy festival, comedy's kind of in the name Yeah, yeah, yeah

No one brought that up I'll get in touch with them Okay, let them know I'll get your show withdrawn, don't worry You let them know Your only competing show We're not even on at the same time Kirstie, they come to both

No, there's no space for both of us. No, come on. You'd rather just have dinner in that spot. You can't get wrong with smooth. You can't. Now, Kirstie, do you need Dave to explain to you what the show Do Go On is all about? And if not, Dave, do you want to do it anyway for the new listeners?

Yeah, refresh my memory. I would love to. Yeah. So what we do here is we take it in terms to report on a topic, often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research. Bring it back to the group in the form of a report. It is my turn this week to do a report on a topic that has been voted for. by our beautiful Patreon supporters at patreon.com

slash do go on pod and we always start Kirstie with a question to get us on to topic. So that's your question and the answer may shock you. Well, I don't know. If you don't know.

And that question is, let's find out. When I host Pub Trivia, I'd be handing out Pub trivia sheets and they'd say, well, how hard is it? And the answer is, well, it's easy if you know the answer. It's hard for, I don't know what you know. Yeah.

Yeah, like the answer is obvious if you know the answer. So it's difficult for me to say unless you tell me everything you know, and then I say, you don't know, it's going to be hard for you. And that's going to take some time for you to go around the room at the trivia night. What do you ask every person? What do you expect? Well, what you could have done is showing them all the questions. Do you know these?

Yeah. And then they say, this is how hard it is. Oh, you know these. Yeah, great. Great. Well, this shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they're like, well, I guess there's no point you're saying there. Well, okay. Well, but if you do know them or you could win the voucher. That's a really good idea for pub trivia. Why don't you just send out the questions to people before and they can just do them at home? Do them home. That's a great idea. The pub, just go trivia.

Yeah. If they wanted, they can still come and have a drinking a meal. Yeah. That's actually a really good idea. And it's something I think the hospitality industry would really appreciate as well. It's flourishing at the moment and it's got too many people beating down the doors. That's the thing. It's too busy in pubs.

Yeah. You found that? Oh, yeah. Get the people out. Like all of the ones in my neighbourhood are closing. Because too much demand. It's a danger to the community. Yeah, they can't keep up with the demand,

so they're like, we're going to have to close the doors. If we can't look after everyone, we'll look after no one. It's only fair. All right, question one of one. Here it is. This is going to shock us. Which multi-billion dollar website was founded by Pierre Omidya in September 1995. And it is a big one.

eBay? It is eBay. Well done, Matt. I would say to you, this quiz is not hard for you, because you know the answer. Also, I will say that I was surprised because I didn't know that, and I'd hazard to guess that Matt was not surprised because he did know that. Well, I was pretty surprised that was correct, to be honest. My clue was going to be, its original name, was auction web.

Okay. That would have gotten me. That would have gotten a several, I reckon. Big time. You know, but if we were playing pub trivia, what would have happened is I would have said, I think maybe eBay, and then I would have been talked out of it by the other people. Yeah, I would go and say, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no, my space is way older than you think. Way older than you think.

Yeah, I would have gone, stop it, Matt, can you take this seriously? We lose every single week because of you. Ebo? Yeah, oh, yeah, it was, it's MySpace, obviously. Obviously, oh. I went to a trivia recently where the guy's only rule was, if someone overrules you on an answer or ignores you, at the end, when I read out the answers, you have to yell. That's suck it. So, suck it.

And then when people around the bar yell that suck it, he would hand out chopper chops to that person. That is awesome. That is good fun. But that's so true, isn't it? Like, that's the smuggest that you ever feel in day to day life. When everyone's like, no, that's not the answer. Oh, my God, you don't know anything.

And then you find out you are correct. You're just like, this is how I react. I'm always like, yeah. Anyone want to say anything? Yeah. I just avoid eye on tape. Yeah, yeah. That's what I was Dave.

This is how I do. I don't even say anything. They just go. Yeah, just a little, yeah. Well. Which is good on podcasts. You watch the video on Patreon right now. Yeah, yeah.

I'm always like, oh, sorry, is there something in my ear? Because I can't hear all the apologies. Maybe they're canceling each other out or something. That and your Christmas Eve bit. I mean, this is why you're the only working comedian in Australia. Thanks, Matt. Thank you for saying that. So you're going to tell us the story about.

eBay? Yeah, well, today we are talking about a truly wild scandal that rocked the company in 2019. Oh. So, have you heard of an eBay scandal from 2019? I don't want to say too much more to give anything away. No, no. That's great. What about eBay?

Have you used it much? Have you ever bought or sold anything on eBay? Not for a while. Yeah, not for a while as well. I think many years ago, I did. I definitely bought some stuff on there. I tried to sell some stuff on there. Oh, no takers?

I don't think it was no takers. I think I just didn't have my head around it properly. Yeah, right. But I have, I've bought some items on there for sure. I was reflecting on this. I've bought a couple of musical instruments back in the day. I've got a guitar and a keyboard and stuff in there, which was great for that. And they arrived and went damaged.

Looking back, I'm like, well, that was a bit of a risk with the guitar. But anyway, but the weirdest thing I bought was when my dad turned 50 many years ago. At the time, we both loved watching the Roger Moore 1960s show The Saint. And I found on there you could buy a piece, they claimed it was a piece of a suit. worn by Roger Moore on the saint and it came with like a little certificate and it was framed. So I don't know of my dad

who sometimes listens to the podcast. Dad, do you still have a piece of Roger Moore's suit from the saint? I do. If not, I hope to pay my creepy dad there. Yeah, why is he so creepy? And why is he here in the studio?

He's got his own mic and he just doesn't usually speak. So, yeah, that is an interesting way to use that suit. Obviously they thought they'd get more money out of little chunks of it. chopped up the suit. Rather than selling this whole suit. Just bit by bit. But also, like, I just imagine heaps of people would be suss on it and wouldn't buy it. Yeah, I think most people would be. But not this guy. Not that guy. I'm going to go home now and I'm going to chop up like some clothes of mine and I'm going to be like, oh, this is what Claire Daines wore in

Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet. And Dave's going to buy it piece by piece for my dad's 70th birthday. Huge fan of Claire Dane. That's a great idea. You should have bought them all, Dave, and put it back together. That's a good idea. Rebuilt Roger Moore's suit. What a cute puzzle, like a cute father and son puzzle project. That'd be great.

All right, I'm going to have to try and find the rest of it now. I reckon it'll still be on there. That person is still selling pieces that they claim is Roger Moore's suit. Yeah, they've sold tons on it. No, they've sold one piece of the suit. And luckily, you have it. I'm going to Google it right now. There's lots of DVDs coming up, but none of his pieces of his suit.

It's even rarer than I ever thought. The pieces of the, so, okay, so now we have to pivot. You have to put, you've got to steal it back off your dad and you've got on eBay. Oh no, he's onto a stuff. No, he's in a studio. Turned out the mic off. Quick, too little. So that's what you have to do.

to put your piece of the suit up for like $250,000? I think that's a great idea. I will do it. Okay. I'll do that. Dad, have you still got it? Which he said you did. Turn my mother.

Sorry, change my gosh. Now, people suggest we do these topics. I hadn't heard of it personally, but I found it in our hat. So thank you to, which is the name of the suggestion hat where people suggest topics. I thank you to Jackie Bowcage from Worcester in Massachusetts for suggesting that I come with this scandal. Wow. Back to imagine living there.

city and state, impossible to pronounce. Although Dave just nailed it, admittedly. Yeah. But they might say, in America, I don't know, do they say Worcester? Yeah, they often do pronounce it like it's meant to, or like how it's written. Yeah. Notardine. The weird English pronunciation, they're like, I'm just going to read as it's written, guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they would say, I'm just going to read it as it's written, guys, okay? I'm going to go with the laws of phonics. Yeah, I'm a phonic. I'm a strict hearing of funnex. One of my favourite ever Simpsons jokes, that Carl, he's written out his list for Homer. He had to go and he goes,

all the long words are written phononetically. Great joke! That's a great joke, great joke alarm. So let me tell you about the background to eBay was founded as auction web in California on September 3, 1995 by French-porn Iranian-American computer programmer Pierre Omidyar as a hobby to make some extra money. Britannica writes, eBay was one of the first companies to create and market an internet website to match buyers and sellers of goods and services. He got in on the ground floor.

And it had a hot start. The first item sold on the website was listed by Pierre, who sold a broken laser pointer to Canadian Mark Fraser for $14. $10 and 83 cents, a broken laser pointer. Why did someone buy it? The guy, well, he's got, the Fraser, he's been interviewed because he's, you know, still holds this record for the first ever purchase. He's gone on to make over 2,000 purchases. And he claims that he couldn't afford a brand new laser pointer, which at the time

were over $100. But he thought, I can fix this. Yeah. So I'll buy this bargain broken laser pointer. I can fix this. He's still got it. He proudly showed it off in a video on the eBay website, the history of eBay. and he is, quote, quite proud of his 100% positive feedback.

He should be as well. Did he fix it? I don't know if you actually fixed it. I don't think he did. I reckon he didn't. Yeah. One of the things that you think you're going to get around to. I think it's so good that, like, has he ever made money out of being the first?

Like, does he do the speaking to circuits? He's a keynote speaker. He's like, well, I went on the website. How to be number one. By now. He's like Comic Con and it says, the first ever eBay guy. I think he could,

he should be selling like signed broken laser pointers on eBay first, but like add a zero to that 1499 or whatever. What about signed bits of broken laser pointer? The zero I mean put it at the end before the dot. I don't mean put it at the start, you know, when you say add a zero to that, you're really got to be pretty specific.

I don't know. Some places, some plays out of zero, it's not going to do much of a difference at all. Yeah, I reckon Dave and I thought you meant at the end. Before or after the decimal point. Of course, it's important. In the first year, auction web as it was first called, facilitated over $7.2 million worth of sales,

and Pierre quit his day job to focus on the new venture. After making its millionth sale, the website changed its name to eBay in September 1997. the name eBay comes from Echo Bay, which was the name of the founder Pierre's consulting firm. When he tried to register the domain, Echo Bay.com, he found it was already taken by a gold mining company. So he was like, I guess I'll just shorten it, and he called it eBay.

Yeah, right. Okay, that's less satisfying. That's the bit that I was desperate to come up. And I knew you'd do it at the beginning because that makes sense. But I really wanted to know where the eBay name had come from. Yeah, I was thinking about it. What does that mean? I thought the E was, you know, like everything was like electronic.

Yeah. But then I was like Bay. Like when I want to buy stuff, I don't go to the Bay. That's when you want to go to, you get like get some driftwood or something. It's like to watch up trash. Yeah, I'm not buying stuff at the bay. I'm taking it for free. Yeah.

Or throwing stuff in. Yeah. Well, much like Epo. So you pick up trash? You throw away trash. Yeah, pick up Roger Moore's suit. This is a massive tangent, but I never get an opportunity to bring it up. It's so flimsy, but please just go with me.

So I do actually live near the bay in Melbourne. I appreciate that, Dave. And I also know it's not a huge flex for you. I'm not fond of that. Neighbriino. But I don't know if you've ever noticed this at your end, but down my end, there are frequently lemons on the shore. Oh, where they come from?

So speaking of going down to pick things up from the bay for free, for me it would be lemons. Perfect for tequila. already salted. Yeah. Already salted. Do they feel a little salty because have they presumably washed up? Yeah, they've soaked some of it in. And someone told me recently, which I thought was, I thought this wasn't true.

And my theory was that they were falling off like a lemon ship. I mean, we were all thinking lemon sheep. Yeah. Surely. Yeah. So the fact that I thought, no scurvy there. No, no, no scurvy to be seen, none to be seen. That's why it's a lemon chip.

And so. The fact that I thought their idea was ludicrous is so funny since I thought they were coming from a lemon ship. But someone told me that in storms and whatever, they're falling off people's lemon trees. And then they're falling like, so into the Elwood Canal. Right. And then they're coming out into the bay. And I was like, that, I was like, stop it. I was suddenly like at the trivia night.

And I was like, Matt, shush, you don't know anything. Write down lemon ship. Write down lemon ship. Write it down, Matt. H-M-A-S. The good ship, lemon ship. And sure enough, I was walking up the canal the other day, and I saw lemons floating down the canal,

and I was like, it's not a lemon ship. Oh, no. What the hell? Here's a chupp-a-chup for you see, mate. Suck it. Suck it. Laman flavor, too. Yes.

My favorite. Yeah, suck the lemon. The other one slap. Anyway, thanks for letting me shoehorn that at you. Well, But this thing that I've read online before, I can't remember whereabouts in the world it is, but there's a place where, for years, Garfield-themed telephones were washing up on the beach. Do you remember that?

I've read this as well. And then they found out, and people wanted, like hundreds of them. And then they figured out that a container ship, a container that either fallen off or a ship had sunk, like out to sea near a cave or whatever, where heaps of these things were found. And they were just washing up on the shore. So it could have been a lemon ship. saying so that was a Garfield ship and a Garfield phone ship and exactly my lemon ship H-M-A-S lemon ship.

That's so great. Are you looking at up at, Matt, where in the world was it? It was in France, in Brittany. Oh, there you go. You'll be able to tell me how to pronounce this, but it looks like, if I was an American, I'd say, Iroys, Iroys coast. If I was an American with an Australian accent, I would say, Irois. No, that, yeah.

How do you spell it? I-R-O-I-S-E. Dave does French. But it is. He doesn't speak French. He does it. He does it. As in he used one of those apps to learn three words a day or something.

Three? Come on. One. He also says that he did a country when he goes on holidays. Yeah, where did you guys go this year, Dave? We did Indonesia. It's so funny to talk about a whole. and a whole country, like it's a thing just you've achieved.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Completed. Yeah, we went all the way through to the hard level. Yeah. We finished that as well with ease. Actually, clocked grease. Or even worse. Yeah.

When I lived in Indonesia. Okay. Oh, how long were you there for? Five days in a place of Villa in Bali. And just really experienced the country. Yeah. Well, I'm basically Indonesian. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I toured Europe last year, sorry, when I walked past a comedy club in Berlin. When I said something really funny in a cafe in Paris. When I crashed in a cafe. Yeah, gosh. Oh, my gosh. You were headlining in Paris. I'm the only comedian in Paris at certain times of the year.

I watch, Dave. I bought things on eBay as recent as last year. What did you get? I bought a Kubra Stockman hat. Oh my gosh Have not worn I mean it's funny Because it's described

On the ad As never worn And that is still true What was Okay You could put it back up Under the original ad I think I put it on

It was just It was a little too big And it's like Oh what I'm going to have to I don't know What I'd do about that Because they're the kind of hats You'd wear

When the wind is probably going to be blowing I mean if it were a pair of pants You'd put socks down I'm Put a belt on You'd put socks back.

Maybe should I put a socks up it? Put socks up your hat. I was thinking I could get one of those like 80s style sports sweat bands, you know? Put it around the outside of the Yucra. Well, put it in the inside on your head and then your head's a little bigger. Oh my gosh, that makes way more sense. I was like, that would look so bad on the outside of the aircraft. Are you trying to wear it like a rubber band?

Like a belt. Like a belt. It's a head belt. I've also bought a second-hand trivia pursuit, classic edition. from 1981. But you don't know if it's got all the cards. Well, I think it had the cards, but they were old cards. I'm like, you know, when there's a history category, but it may as well be all history

because everything that, every question is about something that happened before 981. Yeah, yeah. They're like, who is currently not allowed to vote? Yeah. Women! There are questions where the answers are countries that don't even exist anymore. And then finally enough, my next purchases after that were decks of more recent trivia pursuit cards. That is so smart.

It wouldn't occur to me to do that. But then I do remember this now. I was assuming they'd be the full decks. But they're doing what the Roger Moore suit guy did. And they're just taken little parts of the deck of cards and selling them individually for. Oh my gosh. You shouldn't be allowed to do that. 7.95.

It should be like how, you know, like Cadbury's favourites or whatever, like the chocolates are like not for individual sale. And then every now and then you go to like a really dodgy like neighborhood supermarket. And they've got them all up there for like 15 cents or a motel or something. This is on a sell magnums. We're raising a gas machine. You're like, hey, it says not for individual sale. And they're like, we're a motel.

Buy it. And then I bought bike lots. So, I mean, I've, you. I'm all over the eBay. You've done it all. I actually, I bought my Yamaha guitar on there, apparently. And I'm just looking at it. I did notice at the time, they misspelled bass.

How? Why did I trust it? They spelled it with an E. Oh. Bass guitar, as in just like the bottom quality, I guess. You're like, oh, I wanted a bass guitar. Not a bass guitar. Anyway, sorry about that.

You bought, no, that's great. That's riveting. You've bought loads of stuff on there. And. And when do you get the opportunity to go, here's a list of things I've bought on eBay? Well, I was about to tell you about the coffee scoop that I ordered in September last year, but we've just run out of time. So let me tell you, so in also 1997, things really took off for eBay. Part of it, it's all chance that he, you know, he started this website at the right time.

It's all the things in the dot com, dot com, dot com bubble. Matt and I, the horny one. Stop treading on our toes there, don't. Things are I'm in horny, and I'm trying to get something going in. Me and boop. Before we started, Kirstie, I was trying to refer to Jess Bop Perkins, but misremember the nickname is Boop.

So I think Kirstie is now Boob. Kirstie's Boop. I'm Boop. Everyone, stop asking where Jess is. She's fine. She's fine. As far as we know. As far as we know.

Yeah, you won't hear from her for a very long time. And that's fine. Hey, we've gone from Bob to Boop and we're happy. Yeah. And she'll be about next week. So things really took off in part to the Beanie Babes craze because $500 million worth were sold on eBay alone representing more than 6% of the whole company.

So things just got massive because people wanted a way to sell beanie babies because it was such a massive craze. More like Beanie E babies, am I right? Oh yeah, good job. They should have changed the name again. So they're the ancient Laboobos. Curse if you could.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah. God, he's slamming over there. Yeah, get it, boy. One year later in September 9th, 1998, during the height of the dot-com slash dot-com bubble, eBay became a cum bubble. That's no good, Dan. Don't. Can you retract that, please.

No. Take that off the record. You withdraw the cum bubble. I don't. Wait, no, it's getting worse. Oh, no. I think you, like, Matt and I will never be able to be horny. You've cured me.

I'd put myself on a timeout, but I have to do the rest of the reports. Sorry. Okay. Well, we won't look at it. you, but you kept up. Yeah, I feel so much shame right now. eBay became a public company via an initial public offering, opening on the NASDAQ at a price of $18 a share,

and it closed its first day at $53 a share. So everything went up massively. And on that day, founder Pierre Omidja, who had founded the company three years earlier, and its first company president, Jeffrey Skull, both became instant billionaires. Billionaires. Billionaires.

Three years after this hobby company that he started. Wow, he went from, you know, just an average god, bad person in one day I don't think you can you're not a bad I don't think you because they say

there's no good billionaires but I reckon I reckon if you just become an instant billionaire out of nowhere you're in that sort of Schrodinger's cat

are they a bad person or not it's the next day they've still got a billion dollars the second day that's when it's confirmed you can be an instant

billionaire and not an instant bad guy but when you maintain the status it's like If you haven't fixed all the world's problems by the next day, you're permanently a bad. You've got 24 hours, of Christ.

Well, I've just looked it up, and he didn't fix any of the world's problems. And he is still a billionaire. But he had the, so he had the means to do, and he didn't? No. Oh, no, bad guy. Bad guy. Did sell a few beanie babies? Okay, okay.

Imagine, at least he was moving those around the world. Imagine how you'd feel if you became an instant billionaire, though. Like, just think about that feeling you get when you reach into the winter coat popper. Yes. Oh, my God. You pull out a billion dollars cash. Imagine that. Like, I almost thought I was going to do it, but it was a receipt.

Yeah, a reminder of why you don't have $20. So, yeah, it's just a receipt that says, you're poor. Insufficient funds. And you kept that piece of paper for some reason. Well, I needed to remember. To stop trying to withdraw money. Yeah. So then the bubble.

Burst, the dot-com bubble. Great. Full stop. Very happy. But Britannica points out that eBay weathered the dot-com bust in part because it relied on transaction fees rather than advertising revenue. So a bunch of other websites won't bust or lost heaps of money. But eBay continued to grow.

And it really grew. eBay acquired PayPal on October 3rd, 2002 for $1.4 billion. It also bought Skype at one point. They had a large percentage of Craigslist, Craigslist, Stubhub, an online marketplace for ticket resale. They bought Rent.com. So all these different websites, they just bought them up. Yeah, right.

It became this massive company, and it peaked with over 34,000 employees. Just absolutely colonizing the internet. Yeah. And then it's since sold off, like it's sold off PayPal. It's sold off Skype to Microsoft for billions of profit. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Wow.

So I was thinking, oh, that Skype deal wasn't so good, but that was probably awesome for them. Yeah, at the time. And then now Microsoft shut it down years later. This isn't strictly related, but I got locked out of my Skype account and simply could never get it back. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you. Of Skype. Yeah.

Thank you. You'll never get to hear this sound. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. See, that doesn't even mean anything to make it. It's that long. Sorry to rub it in. Wow. But I love that sound.

Yeah, so the dot-com, I don't, I never understood that. Could you do a report on the dot-com bubble and crash or whatever? Do one on the dot-com bubble and crash and then do one on the dot-com bubble and crash. Crash? I don't think so. It's still growing. Still growing. The dot-com bubble is still growing.

Yeah, I don't know anything about it. I do know, when was it? Because I know I got into computing in the, earlier in this century, and I reckon that timing, at the time, they were like, this is going to be booming. What do you mean by you got into computing? Like making Word documents? I got into a university course in computing.

Really? Out of high school. But I... With majors in Microsoft Word Art. I went, I went. I went to the information day and I was sitting in the lecture theatre there at Monash and just had a cold sweat as there. I'm like, I don't want to be doing this.

Everything they said are like, this fucking, I'm so bored. And they're just doing the, like, the pitch of it of what we're going to be doing. I'm sweating going, what about it? And I didn't know the rules. So I'm like, three years I'm doing this for. I've committed to three years. And then your life after that. And on the walk.

You thought is everything. On the walk out of, yeah. I've always, you know, I'd commit to things and I'd just stick out of it. Ten years of the podcast, baby. I can't get rid of him. At that a supermarket for nine years, you know, like I just, I didn't know how to quit things.

So I'm leaving the lecture theatre and there was like an adult there, you know, like a real adult. And I was like, do I have to do this? And he goes, no, what, sorry, what? I'm like, I've applied for this course to get into, do I have to do it? He's like, no, no, no, no, you don't. don't have to do it. He's like, and he goes, talk to this person. And then I found

it, and I changed into something else. Wow. And he told his family that story at dinner that night. This guy was almost caught up in the cum bubble. But I don't know if the cum bubble had burst by then or not. Apparently the boom peaked in March 2000 and then quickly unraveled after that. Well, this was in 2002. Oh, my gosh. So you must have had a feeling in your waters. Yeah, maybe. Wow.

Wow. So, let's talk a little bit more about eBay before we get to the story. So in their own words, eBay was founded in 1995 on the simple premise that people are basically good and fueled by the belief that commerce should be accessible to all. With this in mind, this is eBay's words again. Which is interesting because commerce was my first preference. and I did not get into it. Well, it's not accessible to all. I mean, you're wrong.

Computing was my second preference and I got in that. I did not get into commerce. You're wrong in my regard that is not interesting. I'm just thinking now, though, did I? Was I just going through the courses alphabetically? Commerce. Computing. Computing.

Because you didn't get into communication after commerce. Yeah. Come by. So ebeck continues with this in mind being accessible to all. We've built a model of universal inclusive entrepreneurship where anyone anywhere in the world can sell by and succeed online. Capitalism for everyone. However, they have faced some criticism over the years. For example, for the distribution of counterfeit goods.

Britannica writes several European manufacturers have sued eBay, luxury fashion houses in France, sued eBay, For damages, with the first judgment of 20,000 euros being levied against the company in 2008. You know, people selling, like, handbags that they say are by these designers, but actually knockoffs. How much? 20 grand. That would have hurt this multi-billion dollar company. And people selling little squares of Roger Moore's seats. That was real, though.

Yeah. That was real. Roger Moore's suits. It came with a certificate. Yeah, I mean, which had been knocked up by Matt Stewart in Word Art. Oh, really? I mean, what was? There's a thread count on the seat.

I'm almost sure it's going to be just cut up pillowcases. Yeah. I mean, I don't know that Roger Moore wore linen. It honestly looks like a square of brown carpet. Oh, okay. If it looks like a square of brown carpet and it smells like a square of brown carpet. I was thinking, Roger, I don't remember the episode where you wore a carpet. But I haven't seen him all.

He was the bond in the swing in 60s, wasn't he? Yeah, he was a Bond. More of a 70s bond. Seventy, that's, I think that's when Swadey, sort of brown suits were in. The saint, the TV show, was exclusively filmed in black and white. Oh, yes. So it's difficult to tell which suit was rich. Oh, that perfect crime.

That's why they didn't say Bond. Yeah. Yeah, Bond, because you go, hang on a second. I can check this for sure. But in The Saint, which is, you know, had a couple hundred episodes. Really smart. A couple hundred suits. Wow.

This is part of the suit that was worn by Walt Disney voicing Mickey Mouse. Steamboat, whatever that one was called. Willie? Willie. It's always confusing because it's Mickey. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

That's right. Weird name. Steamboat Willie. Who is he trying to fool? Yeah, I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

It sounds like a porn star's name. It does. That should be the parody name. Yeah. He's not wearing pants. I guess that's... Dave, I'm going to let you get a bit of this story out. Yeah, let's do it, Dave.

So there was more of eBay's criticisms. There was a big data breach in 2014 where hackers rated its infrastructure to access records of approximately 145 million users. So, Matt, if you were eBaying back then, you probably hacked. Oh, no, the hackers are going to know

that you got in a Kubra. Oh, no. You've never worn it. They're going to know that now if they're listening to this. Oh, no. eBay has also struggled to combat fraudulent practices like shill bidding, the practice of bidding on your own items to raise the auction price,

which I'm sure happened with the Roger Moore suit, because I was going toe-to-toe with someone else. Surely no one else on planet Earth wanted one of those as a joke gift for their death's 50th birthday. Dave, is it, I mean, it is rude to ask this, but can we have like a ballpark kind of figure that you might have paid for this square of brown carpet? It was definitely more than $50.

Oh, that's fine. I think it was about 50 bucks. So it was the same as 50. But it was so long ago that I've actually logged into money to try and find it, but it was so long ago they didn't even have it in my history anymore, so it will never know. Wow. Yeah, I'm just looking.

My history only goes back to 2017, where I bought a Gary Steelheads basketball jumper. That's cool. A defunct basketball team. That's cool. It's probably worth money now. Oh, well, the problem. is, I love the jumper so much, but I'd hardly ever wear it because it's like basically one of a kind. It's basically like Roger Moore's. Why don't you chop it up? Yeah. Oh my God.

Chop it up into 2,000 pieces and go 50 bucks a pot. You know when you love something. Chop it up. Chop it up. If you love it, set it free. Yeah. Chop it up. Chop it up. Chop it. All right, Dave, as I was saying, I'm going to let you tell some of the story now. Because we are getting to the main event here by far. The biggest scandal that Rock to the company occurred not that long ago in 2019 and 2020, which might have you asking, are people basically good? I remember, was one of their... I was just thinking, are people basically good?

Yeah, I remember eBay says people are basically good, but... Are they? Are they? Is that their motto? Yeah, it's one of their sort of... That's so funny. Like when eBay, not eBay, Google used to be, don't be evil, and then they took that out of their mission statement or whatever.

Pretty quietly took it out. Yeah, yeah, because they're like, whoops, we went ahead and did it. Yeah. Do as we say, not as we do. That's going to be embarrassing. So crook. So when eBay was taking off in the late 90s, so too was Ina and David Steiner, albeit on a much smaller scale. Are you saying her name is Einer Steiner?

Yeah, what's I and A? Yeah. Do you say Ina? I think it's Eina. Is that Ena? I think it's Ena. But it could be Steiner. But is Ena Steiner?

I'm pretty sure it's Ena Steiner. I'm pretty sure it's Ena. So we're going to go, Ena. Ina, Steena, and her husband, David Steiner? Yeah, Inna Stina. Ina Stina. So they were taking off, albeit, on a much smaller scale. Living in Boston, Eina.

Inestina. Inna. Full name, please. Otherwise, which, Inna? Which, Enna? Is it Iner Steena or Inestana? This one's Enestina. Inestina.

She was working in a publishing company and was a book collector. David, Steiner. Ena, Mina, Mina. That's how... Dip, dip, dip, dog shit, you are not it. For this game, do that, mate. David, Steenstah Steyner, was a video producer, loved going to garage sales and enjoyed buying and selling collectibles and antique tools.

They were, in the late 90s, in the late 30s, early 40s, a very wholesome sounding couple. According to Boston Magazine, the first meeting was something like that out of a Hollywood rom-com. Now, our rom-com expert, Jess, isn't here this week, but Kirstie slash boop, do you think that this sounds like a rom-com to you? Yeah. It was the...

I don't need it here anymore. It's a yes from me. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, Dave. You can say it and then I'll comment again. Does this sound like a wrong girl? Yes.

Okay. Oh, sorry about it. I guess that's a wrap. I'm going to hear that's the story? No. We loved it. Great story though. We did read that and that's eBay history

and I think that's what we came here for. Thank you so much for joining us today. I've been poop. Anyway, you've got it's Christmas. Dave, you've all got stuff to do it. Let's wrap it up. You've got stuff to put in the oven. Yeah, make a cake or something.

Much like your Christmas presents, let's wrap it up. Okay. Sorry, Dave, you go ahead and then I'll comment. This is Ena. This is David. Sorry, Kirst, that was clickable. This is Ena and David's Dena. It was the 1980s, and Ena was a senior at North Adams State College.

Ena Senior. Inna Senior was a senior. Inna Senior, the Senior. Inisina was a senior. At North Adams State College, when she walked into a party and saw David from across the room. He was a member of the band hosting the party, and she immediately thought he was handsome. They spent most of the night talking and went on several dates together later. Sorry, Dave, sorry to interrupt.

Is this a Hollywood wrongful? Dave, are you all of a sudden writing a synopsis to a classic Hollywood wrongcom? They've been together ever since. I'm sorry, are you just saying that they met and went on a few dates? Yeah, that is. It sounds like something out of a 1980s rom-com. Yeah, sorry. Am I on Jess writes a rom-com?

So thank you to Boston Magazine for painting that picture for us there. So they manned at a party. She was attracted to him. And they went on a few dates. They went on a few dates and remained together. Yeah. For. Rom-com.

Who's written this? That guy who writes rom-coms? I think it must be that guy that writes rom-coms. Yeah, that's a Richard Curtis. Richard Curtis. I'll tell you something. In their household, the dot-com bubble has not perched. Took a three of my drink at the wrong time there?

It continues to, yeah, it continues to blow. Like I said, they loved browsing, yard or garage sales, trying to find rare items. And when eBay was launched in 19- Probably trying to find pineapples, if you know what I mean. That's what it sounds like. When eBay was launched in 1995, they were fascinated. Now they could get their fix online anytime they want to buying and selling,

crap. Put it in my veins. It's a yard sale, 24-7 on my laptop. By 1999, eBay was a huge hit, but like a lot of the internet, it was still a bit of a mystery to many people. So they founded a website called Auction Bytes, which like eBay, changed its name and later became e-commerce bytes. And this is how the New York Times describes the website.

By tracking trends and policy updates across the industry, it became a resource for sellers on a number of platforms, from Etsy to Amazon, a kind of trade publication for anyone whose business is auctioning items out of a garage or storage unit. So it's basically a small blog with updates and guides on what's going on with eBay and other sites where you sell stuff online. Can I just quickly say that I thought the Bites was the problem in the briefing title? I thought the Bites was a problem and then to find out that it stayed was so infuriating. Now it's underlined somehow.

You know, like, okay, auctionadvice.com. Like, this is 1999. Everything was available back then. Are they secret vampires or something? What's going on? E-commerce bytes. Bites, why? Yeah, I don't.

Like megabytes. That's kind of B-Y. Oh, with the Y. B-Y. But still not that. Still not great. Still not great. And not required.

You assume bite-type stuff, it's online. You know, that's all bytes. Yeah. The bytes is implied. Yeah. It's implied. That's implied, Ira, Sara. Yeah.

Her and Styra. Iris Styrrhyra. Amnestina. Inestina. Inestina, the senior, eating a wiener. It's a rom-com. That's a rom-com, for sure. That's from the montage.

Oh, then she starts choking on it, and he comes and saves her a lot. Harm-wink. He harm-links it. He harm-linked. He hym-linked it. He hemlinked chain. Harmlinked together. Harmlinkbytes.com.

Okay, now I think we're getting close. Sadly, it wasn't about. They had to go with e-commerce, but so since its inception in 1999, it's had a dedicated following amongst industry people. So it's not a super mainstream website, but in 2021, they had 600,000 monthly visitors. The vast majority of their subscribers being people who make their living, selling stuff on eBay. So it's like a trade publication. It's still online and updated today, but does look like a website from the early 2000. I love that.

Inich and David are the only staff members operating out of their home, and they have this little intercom system. to communicate between their rooms, which is very cute. That is cute. That's a modern tin can, isn't it? Yes. Real rom-com stuff, though, as well, just refusing to share in a workplace. Or refusing to get up and wander around the wall and talk to each other. Look at each other.

Yeah, we're going to make a sandwich would you like one? No, I'm good, thanks, David. No worries. Yeah. Ena and David, don't you know that sitting is a new smoking? Like, get up and have that conversation by the kitchen end. Come on. the water cooler gossip in their own house.

So over at eBay, their corporate headquarters is in the Silicon Valley City of San Jose, California. Part of the security team there is a division called Global Security and Resiliency. And part of their job was to track, quote, persons of interest. Individuals who might pose a danger to eBay and then rank them in a threat matrix. Oh, a threat matrix. Is that crazy language? And a better website name, Threatmatrix.com. It is good.

Threat Matrix. Threat Matrix. Yeah. Could be a good metal band name as well. Oh, that's good. I like a Threat Matrix. It's part of the big five. Could be one of the names of one of your slam poems.

Oh, great. Threat Matrix. Threat Matrix. Stein Fatrix. That's honestly better than I thought it was going to be. Dyn Patrix. Patriarchy. Shame triarchy.

Actually, not bad. Honestly, and like if you could see the way he was sort of, like, riffing with it, like, that really sold it for me. Yeah. I need to have another go of that later. Give me another thing later, but that didn't feel like my best. I'm actually really good at it normally. Yeah, I know.

I know. For a riff on the spot, like I actually thought he did really work. Riff on the spot. Jiff on the cot. Keep it clean. Little Bean. sweet dreams and tomorrow you make the team.

Wow. Wow. I especially love Jiff on the clock. Jiff on, I got nervous and but it came good. It did come clean. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, it was about what's going on here? Oh, that's actually very wholesome. Yeah, yeah. Just keeping things clean. I like to clean. And then, you know, they made the bar. It was, it wasn't implicit,

but in my mind it was they made a basketball team at school or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's, I think that one is called Threat Lullaby. Yes. Threat is in every, every, every film title. Every single part of it starts with Fred. It's all, you know, you write what you know.

You are what you know. Here comes the snow. Santa in town. Uh, wearing my best dressing gown. Carpet in brown. Oh, no. Roger Moore? Oh, oh, no, I sharded.

So, global security and resiliency. It's the team, basically their job is to protect the company and its staff. But just how far would they go to do that? How far? Further than you could ever imagine. Oh, I imagine something very far as well. Yeah, I know. This is even further than that.

Yeah. So the best resource on this story online is a David Stritefeld article in the New York Times, published in September 2020 that I will, of course, link to on the show notes. Because there are a few legal implications in this story, I'm going to quote more than I usually would. I just didn't want to put too much into my own words and end up slandering someone.

Yeah, well, you're in safe hands with Matt and I. I don't know if it's, well, it's nothing could possibly go wrong. Stick to the script, okay? Everything we're saying is alleged, and we don't know what we're talking about, so I don't think, I think that's inadmissible. Yeah, yeah. Do you say indefensible?

Inadmissible. I'm sorry, Inadmissible, yeah, yeah. What you're saying is indefensible. Before you move towards litigation, just remember that you're dealing with Matt and Kirstie, and we're doing our best. Yeah, Matt and Kirstie, lawyers.

Objection, Your Honor, leading the witness. Leading the witness, straight into fitness. Throw the gavel down, lift the dumbbell up. Soon you will be firm. and ready for the cup. God, you're good. The cup was a trophy for being really fit. Yes, yes.

That wasn't clear. No, I, that's what I thought you were doing. I know some artists like to leave interpretations up to the, you know, the audience. Not me. No, no, no, no, that's wrong. Yeah. What this poem means is. Your perception of what I said is incorrect.

Yes. So, Dave Stryffield wrote this great article with way more than I'll refer to, and I recommend checking it out, so it's in the show notes. So Stryffeld describes global security and resiliency at eBay. The division consisted of dozens of people, including retired police captains and former security consultants, but it was surprisingly intimate. We're a family, James Bohr, the boss and Stephanie Pop, one of the supervisors would say to the analysts, where mom and dad. Oh Do Americans actually say mom Or do they just write at mom

No they say mom They say mom So to them mom is a different word It's a different word, yeah Because I think That means to like not say anything Right to stay mum But I think that in America

The word mum means just to not say anything Mum's the word Mum's the word Which is weird Yeah I guess But it's even weird Because it means both things to us

Mum's the word What? Yeah, well, we've said it so many times now that it's lost all me. It has, yeah. Mum, mum, mom, mum, mum. The dot mum bubble. And we're back. The meeting is back.

I found it again. Dot mum bubble. I guess that could be the worm. Worm. No. No. Absolutely not. This next one is called Mum's the Worm.

No. Any room at the womb. No. A Christmas. A Christmas poem. Happy Christmas, everyone. Have you ever really just, like, wish that you could summon to black out? I think I'm in the middle or one.

I wish I was in the middle of one. Let me start with James Bohr. Stryfeld in the New York Times describes him as a stocky, middle-aged guy with thinning hair who loved to talk and did not like to be questioned. He would often say he used to work for the CIA. Sometimes he said his wife was working for the CIA right now. Once he found a knife on a barbecue grill on campus, where they worked,

a deranged person, he said, could have used it to hurt someone. And then he proceeded to stab a chair. It was never removed a warning for the timid. Well, I reckon he might be the disturbed person he was warning. I'm glad he did a demo. Yes. Anyone could have done something crazy like this stabs a chair. Yeah, because if I saw a knife and so on said that, I'd be like,

what crazy thing would they have done with the knife? What could you do with a knife? Chop up onions? Yeah, chop up Roger Moore's suit. Yeah. That is crazy. That is actually a pretty weird thing to do With a knife as opposed to scissors

But people who don't like to be questions After saying outlandish things Do you reckon it's because he's full of shit? He would often say I would often say My life's to the CIA right now Oh could you tell us about it I do not like what you're doing right now

What I'm just asking a pretty Soft follow-up question Oh well yes It's just an inquiry. I've got a feeling you're going to love this guy. Oh, okay. Well, I agree. Move on to the next bit.

Let me keep telling you more about him. Ball would often show scenes from movies to his team to inspire and remind them of their security jobs. I hope it's like bring it on. Well, there's a range of them. Again from Strypefeld, Mr. Boar would often bring the analyst into a conference room and show the scene from American Gangster where Denzo Washington coolly executes a man, by Idraselba, in front of a crowd to make a point. Or he'd play a clip

from the Wolf of Wall Street where the feds are investigating shady deeds, but none of the perpetrators can seem to recall a thing. Or the bit from Meet the Fokkers were about a retired CIA agent played by Robert De Niro and his Circle of Trust. Apparently he would often reference that scene saying

no one is supposed to know this when telling the analysts about some piece of gossip, but they'd say but we'll keep it in, the circle of trust. Or the bit from there's something about Mary where she's got the stuff in her hair. Yes. And no one ever knew why you were showing that clip.

They'd say, no context required. Yeah. Okay. So it can be used for toothing. Sometimes I'm just trying to, you know, you might walk in on me trying to, you know, produce some new hair gel. That's all. That's fine.

There's no need to get HR involved. We'll keep that in the circle of trust. Okay. In the circle of troth. It's not something pervy. Yeah. It's hair producty. Nothing weird.

Nothing weird. Let us make my own gel. Yeah. Don't question me. Please. So James Bohr expected absolute loyalty from his analysts. He would also frequently screen a scene from the TV show Billions, in which a billionaire toys with the subordinate he has caught considering a job with a competitor.

He'd say, or the billionaire says in the show, you don't try to be loyal, you just are. Is that an ethical billionaire? Always. Is there any other car? Yeah, well, it's easy to point out the ones that are unethical because, you know. Yeah. Sorry, how long is this billionaire in this show held onto their wealth for?

Oh, 22 hours. Okay. So they're okay. They're fine. They're okay. They've got two hours to get rid of fun. Oh, my gosh. I've got to get rid of $1 million.

Billionaire. They only have $199 million. That's it. I don't know. The show billionaire, but I assume it takes place over 24 hours in real time. Yes. There's a guy called Jack. Jack billionaire.

Billionaire. Ballyionaire. Perfect. Yeah. The show writes itself. So he would say, like, I expect loyalty, but the team usually consisted of six analysts who were all contract workers

who could easily lose their jobs. Yeah. And turnover was high. Overtime, one of the workers interviewed by the New York Times, Veronica Zay, says that over time, she noticed that men were becoming scarce, and by May 2018, the group was entirely female.

Except, of course, for their boss, James Ball. Right. Now he's shown him clips of Charlie's Angels. Well, the group's nickname in the office was Charlie's Angels or Jim's Angels. He called them Jim's Angels. Matt, you think the same as him, you sicko. Oh, I take it as a compliment. You're like the weird guy in the story.

Yeah. This is why you hate it when we ask you questions. I do about my hair gel, where I got it from. And how do I get such hot in my hair? Stripe fellow for the New York Times writes, women got fired too and afterwards the survivors would whisper about why one departed analyst had been reprimanded for not smiling in front of executives another was let go because she sang to keep herself awake during the night shift a third because she chewed on her pen okay I wouldn't have lasted long in that office no I'd do all those things yeah especially side man I sing a lot I literally walked back into the room before and Matt was in here on his own singing into the microphone to keep himself awake yeah What was I singing? I don't know what you were singing, but you were on your own in this room

singing into the microphone. Is that true? The problem is true. We never know what he's singing. Yeah, well, I, yeah. Well, that's the cool thing about it because I'm singing song, like quite popular songs, but they come out like brand new songs. Yeah, that's true.

So I can. Completely unrecognizable. Exactly. Yeah. So I could, you know, I could, I could, I'm basically living in a yesterday movie scenario, only it's the whole back catalogue of all music of all time. That's wonderful. You just rewrite all songs for your history.

Bollari. Whoa, whoa. Cantadee. Wow. Is that a pet food brand? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I used to love songs. And dedication.

He ruined all music for you. Every single song was ruined for me by Matt. Yeah. Name a song you love. I'll ruin it for you. No, don't say a good one. I would never. That's my second.

skill well it's not that secret i'll tell everyone about it want me to ruin a song for you so this division of ebay sounds like a pretty awful place to work people can frequently fire for for no reason the boss is stabbing chairs or like playing weird clips from movies to inspire you yeah i think's got worse in january 2019 when a notoriously brutal hedge fund called elliot management bought part of ebay and asked for changes uh feeling the pressure from the new hedge fund was ebay CEO, Devin Wenig, who had been at the head of the company since July 2015. That's a great name. Devin Wenig.

Devin Wenig. I love it. I love it, even though Dave just made it up. I still love it. Wenig. Wenig. It sounds like you're doing to names what I do to songs. Like...

Ruin them. Yeah. You take, like, that probably sounds like a real name in your head, but when you say it out loud, it does not. It sounds like the middle step in the evolution. from Warnakey to Webeck. Oh, yeah. A Warnik, Webeck. David, Devin, Kirstie.

Perfect. I love it. So this new hedge fund sent a letter to its board of directors, the eBay's board of directors, requesting changes such as replacing the CEO, saying that eBay, quote, as a public company, investments has underperformed both its peers and the market for a prolonged period of time. Oh, easy to say it from the outside looking in, but if you knew how many pen chewers we got rid of,

the company would be in a lot worse state otherwise. We have saved millions on pens. This was interpreted as placing additional demands on eBay management to produce results, leading to an atmosphere of heightened stress throughout the company. Everyone was under pressure for profit and for the image of the company, particularly they did not want to receive any public criticism. and the CEO who was already perhaps on thin ice really didn't want any negative press

because they've already said like maybe we should get rid of that guy and he's like all right i need to look good here i need to look i'm doing a good job so this is going to this is a stupid question what are hedge funds is it like the is it like the tree fences or is it like hedging your bets or is it like benson and hedges the cigarettes yeah no it's It's more of a pool of... Or none of the above. None of the above.

Okay. But you can spend the money you make from the hedge fund on all of the above. Okay. It's basically, it's a pool of investors. Yeah. And they've pulled... The fund is a bunch of people investing together, and they've used that money to buy 4% of eBay.

Right. But of course, when you invest in something like that, you want the stock to go up... Yes. To get profit. Right. And if the company's not profiting, you're like, well, why did our head... hedge fund invest in this. And they are some of them brutal.

This one apparently is notoriously brutal, even by Wall Street's very brutal standards. And 4% that's enough for them to come in and say, oh, you've got to make changes or what, we'll sell? Yeah. Because 4% obviously, that's not a... It's not huge. But I think, like, when things are divided up into shares, 4% actually is a big, big piece of the pie.

Gotcha. Yeah. I must say I'm not a billionaire. Yeah. Yet. Dave, can you put in terms... You can just put in a terms of understand. What's 4% of eBay?

What's that in, say, like, a Roger Moore suit? That's like getting... A sleeve? Yeah, a sleeve. Like the top of both sleeves. Oh, okay. Very important, otherwise, you've just got a vest. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's very important to the suit. And a vest is no good in a Melbourne winter. Hedging your vests. Is that anything? Hedging your vest. No. Well, so, you know, sometimes I've just got to ask the question. AJ, I let it out, so that's good.

But this is... I just remember that people listen to this and how embarrassing. AJ, leave it in. I'll occasionally, like, I normally just forget that anyone's listening to this and it's just a few friends talking absolute fucking nonsense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then occasionally I'm like, oh, people listen to this. Yeah.

How embarrassing. Everything I've said, I regret. Yeah, like, can we start again? Yeah, please. Oh, my God. How embarrassing. I'm being ironic. Yep.

That's what people don't understand. Yeah. I'm actually spoofing comedy and podcasts. Where's that cum bubble? Spoofing. I'm spoofing podcast comedy. Spoofing. People don't even get...

Oh, okay, mate. You have a good time over there, obviously. You're doing the opposite. Are you putting that in your hair later? You're doing it the wrong way around. No. Spoof. Yes?

No, you're doing it at the wrong way around. Like spoof is jizz. Spoof is like a parody, like a send-up. You're doing it the wrong way around. You're saying you're spoofing comedy, which is horrible. What would you say, Kirstie, if I was to say this is one of the few times where Matt is in control of the words you're saying. Do you think he's got it the right way around? I think he's like a hedge fund, right?

Put it in terms of Curse the Understance. I can't believe in argument over Spoof or Spoof. No, I think, well, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree. Maybe it was because we came from different places. You know, I was born in country, Victoria. Wee spoof there. Yes, you do. Up in Canberra, you obviously spoof.

Yeah, that's right. A bit of very hoity-toity camera. Ooh, spoof. Oh, we spoofed. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, we're going to have scones and spoof. Spoofing with the pinky up.

Yeah. Ooh. Oh, you've been spoofed. The dot-com bubble has willingfully burst. Oh, my here it is. So, eBay, they're on edge. They're edging. Because they're worried.

An edge fund. Now I've described to an edge fund. Okay, I'm here. Sting. I'm all in. Sting. Et cetera. Yeah, you know.

He did that sort of stuff. Capposition, that sort of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're not. Messaging a bottle. Whatever.

I know Edge is also that I'm of an Irish guitarist, but that doesn't matter. Don't worry. I was talking more about his, you know, how he has sex for ages. More that edgy. For too long. A painful amount of time, surely. Yeah. AJ, please look after me in this edit, please. So eBay.

Will Anderson listen sometimes. I really don't need him to hear me like this. I'm battling for any respect as it is in the business. Will, if you are listening, you were in my dream last night and we drove a tractor together. And I'm not joking. Wow. He grew up on a farm. It was a beautiful dream. It was a beautiful dream. That's great. We drove to a gig. Anyway. So the set. Yeah. And we were so late, we got there at midnight. Anyway, the CEO and the company are on edge.

We now return to the Steiner's or the Steeners. The people who ran that, that website that the New York Times described as almost comically obscure e-commerce bites. because it's so small in comparison, especially to a conglomerate like eBay. Enistina would write news about eBay, including new policies and updates on the corporate team, and it wasn't always super flattering. Ena included the news of the Elliott hedge fund, sending a letter to the board of directors in a blog post titled, activist investor eviscerates eBay management. Ooh, that's not what they wanted at all. And remember, they're like, we don't want any bad coverage.

That's almost word for word what they didn't want. Hey, don't write this. Well, they wrote it. At a similar time in early 2019, Enistina shared on the eCommerce by its website the news that eBay had hired a new communications chief, Steve Weimer, which is almost in the chain of Warnocky to Webeck.

You'd go Warnock, Weimer, Wenig, Webeck. David, Devin, Steve. Steve, Kirsty. We are getting closer. We are getting closer. So she shared the news that eBay hired a new communications chief called Steve Weimer, who would report directly to the CEO, Devin Wenig. Steve Weimer is another important person in the story.

This is how Strytfeld describes the two men very high up at the company. The two men shared an aggressive streak. Mr. Wenick had spent most of his career in East Coast Financial Media as a lawyer and an executive at Thompson Reuters, and he maintained a certain New York alpha quality. We all know it. Oh, that's so funny. I think Matt's got that as well. Oh, yeah.

Especially the New York part. Especially the Alpha part. Oh, yeah. I think, I think, I just know that this person is really cool. Say no more. New York Alpha type. Fucking Mad Dog. This is a cool guy.

Mad Dog McGee. And then, so he's reporting to Devin Wenig, the CEO, which Stratfeld describes as publicly. Mr. Wenig celebrated eBay's five community values. Among them, people are. are basically good, and we encourage you to treat others the way you want to be treated. But together, he and his communications chief, Mr. Weimer, worked to forge a more combative eBay, one that drew less inspiration from those golden rules and more from The Sopranos. There's more New Jersey alpha.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the New York Times adds that the two men did not respond to multiple requests for comment when Stryfeld wrote the article in 2020. Well, they probably also don't like answering questions. Yes, they do not. deny any involvement in what I'm about to tell you about. Despite this, both men clearly loathed Enastina writing about eBay on her tiny website e-commerce bytes.

In April 2019, she wrote an article about the chief executives' compensation, noting that Devin-winning salary of $18 million US dollars per year was 152 times what the average worker at the company got and mildly suggested it was coming at the expense of eBay sellers. basically saying this guy's paid a lot of money and maybe that could be spent elsewhere on eBay No wonder he's like Please don't get me fired Just a couple more years of this

This is crazy I'm going to retire forever Yeah After her post was published Communications Chief Steve Weimer texted a link to the CEO Devin Wenig adding quote We are going to crush this lady

Oh I'm worried these talking literally That's real soprano sort of stuff Put him in one of those trash compactors. Oh, that would crush you. Yeah. Oh, no. It's falling in. Oh, no.

Enistina's in the trash compactor. Oh, no. I mean, it would be very hard to bounce back from it. It would be hard to get out. But those trash compactors, they mean business. Oh, they compact. They compact. The New York Times writes again, whether Miss Steena was breaking news about questionable expenditures, such as, uh,

a pub eBay built on its campus, or making more innocuous developments, Mr. Wenig, says the CEO paid $18 million per year, seemed to find her existence infuriating. This is like comedians with reviewers during the festival, isn't it? Don't worry about it.

It really is a lot of business, isn't it? I'm going to crush the Harold's son transport reporter for what he wrote about my show. On the 31st of May 2019, she wrote that he had promised to give sellers greater protection from fraudulent buyers. Mr. Weimer sent the link to CEO, Devin Wenig, saying, well, shockingly reasonable. The CEO responded, I couldn't care less what she says. Take her down.

Wow. I was like, I think you do care what she says. Yeah, I think you care a lot what she says. A little too much there. Yeah, to the point where it's like, like you're like, you know, like you say, say it's a very small website in comparison. It's like a, you know, like a lion being pissed off at a tick on his back. That would actually be pretty annoying.

That would tick me off. Fair enough. Oh no, I think I'm with them now. I get it. Great. Crush her. I just had to put it into like the Animal Kingdom context to understand. Yes.

I'm on board now. Into the trash compact. With the tick or the lion. Or both, best to be safe. Yes. Both. Everyone. eBay.

The platform. Chuck it in. So if there was one person, the CEO, Devin Wenig, detested as much as the Steeners. It was a male Twitter user by the name of Fido Master. You know, you're talking about reviewers? The other thing is someone tweeting about your show. Yeah. Oh, okay.

You know a bit about comedy, do you? Know a bit about eBay, do you? Oh, this is feeling pretty real from Warnocky here, Kirstie. This is feeling. This is feeling very close to the bone. So this is Fido Master. They used his wife sold items on eBay and thought the site was often unfair on sellers and would tweet his frustration. Often going viral, aka getting up to a dozen likes.

Okay. What when was that viral? You're a very literal person, I think, Kirstie. I think Dave, I think. Dave was making a joke. I was going to be wrong. I was spoofing you. We used to just spoofing.

Oh, you were spoofing. You got spoofed. Not again. Because I'm trying to set up the world here of who gives the shit. How does the CEO of an 18, with an 18 million dollar sell you even know about this guy? I don't think, sorry, can I just say it quickly in my defence? I don't think I'm too literal. I think Dave is too dry.

Yeah, no, he is. It is funny. I think he's treating you like Bob, not like boo. You're treating. Cursey, like, has been here for, what, 520 episodes. But you're forgetting. It's only been here for about, what, 14 hours now? Oh, right.

So, yeah, I've only been here for this episode for 17 and a half hours, and I've only done, like, one episode or two episodes prior to this. So what you're saying is I'm bopping when I should have been booping. Yeah, maybe it's a bit on me for wearing my Jess Perkins mask today. Dave, if you could maybe just moisten it up a little bit. don't moisten anything are you spoofing again sorry sorry so sorry you don't want to dry spoof

if you're on a spoof lubricate okay that's good advice so phytomaster AJ again please please look after us in this edit I feel like I've lost control of it Fadomaster is tweeting getting a dozen likes

it's like a very obscure Twitter account who gives a shit well the global security and resiliency analysts kept a file on him, and the file quickly grew. How embarrassing. It became a fat file. James Bohr, the Mr. Fokker guy, was convinced that there was a sinister relationship

between the Steeners, or the Steiner's, and Fadomaster, and he thought they were actively conspiring to damage eBay. It is so embarrassing. It's really embarrassing. Up to 12 likes. I know. A website, no one's heard of outside of, like,

It's a community hub for eBay. Yeah, who cares? Yeah, it's fine. They could definitely, I'm imagining whatever they do or whatever they're about to do is less good than nothing at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. By a long way. Like, imagine just genuinely not caring.

Yes. Rather than saying, I don't care, but let's kill their whole family. Maybe live by what you're saying. Poor. Could you get the family out of the train? Ashkenbacker. Ball even considered that Fidomaster, tweeting, might even be the Steiner couple using an alias. I knew it was hitting on that part.

Absolutely. Eight days after the CEO, Devin Wenig, sent a message saying, take her down. The first crazy thing happened. A member of the security team flew across the country from California to Boston and then drove to the Steiner's home. And according to prosecutors, on their feet. he scrawled the word Fido Master

He just graffiti tagged Did he do the app I don't think he used the ad Which is confusing It's so confused Is that an app? That is so weird Why fly to do it

You don't You work for a big company Make a call More like flydo master Amory He flew across the country To tag someone whilst at work.

That's so... He thought that was his job. Oh, my God. I've got the worst second-hand embarrassment. I'm really cringing hard for these. He was trying to say, hey, we know you, we know you're a Fido Master. You couple on your website, we know you're also Fido Master. Yeah, getting up to 12 likes.

Is that true? Like, are you taking the piss? Is it actually hundreds or thousands of likes? No, they're... Or genuinely... Genuinely... What I read about it, they said a dozen likes. Yeah, that's not worth a flight.

I mean, even if it, like... I looked it up. From San Jose to Boston, there's no direct flights. You have to go to San Francisco, which you have to drive an hour to San Francisco, and then it is a six-hour flight to Boston. Oh, imagine this. And as you're going to, like...

The hedge fund is going to be livid. And then you have to drive from Boston out to their little... Makes no sense. And then you've got to get to Fitomaster's house. Exactly. And then you've got a group of graffiti. their fence. And I think I'm, I think I'm probably misrepresenting myself anyway,

because even if it was like a million likes, it's still not worth a flight over to graffiti fence. No, the actual, like, what they did, like graffeting the fence is so embarrassing. And, spoiler, the Steiner's were not tweeting under Fidomaster. That's a completely separate person they've never heard of and were presumably confused why someone has just tagged their fence with the word Fidomaster.

I would have just assumed, oh, the local... Yeah, full Fidomaster's been tagging. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you would have been like, oh, tagging is so boring. Yeah. So there's no link, but this did not stop the eBay analysts trying to prove that there was a link between Fadomaster and the Steiner's. And if there was, of course, like, there's, what's the big deal? Like, what would it even matter?

Yeah, well, yeah, of course. Oh, it's like, a busted. It's like, oh, yeah, that's my username. name on Twitter. Yeah, and I'm reiterating the points that we're making in the blog. It's exactly right. It's like, who cares even if they were Fido Master? It is like, the word you use was perfect, embarrassing.

This is so embarrassing. It's embarrassing. It's justice for Fido Master. Well, they were convinced that it was the same person and they tried some spy thriller level stuff to prove that there was a link between Fidomaster and the Steen slash Diners. They run one of the biggest websites in the world. You think they'd be able to get to the bottom of this pretty quickly? Well, this is the way they thought they'd get to the bottom of it.

In mid-2019, Fidomaster, the Twitter user, received an unsolicited Twitter message from a new user calling herself Marissa. Oh, honey trap. Her picture showed her to be about 25 years old. Claiming to be a former eBay employee, she said she possessed, quote, extremely damaging videos of executives misbehaving and wanted help passing them to the Steiner's. They hoped that Fidomaster would reveal that yes, he knew the Steiner's, but he didn't. So he was like, I don't know who that is, but he did a quick Google search and found that Ina Steiner's email was public and on the website. So he's like, I don't know who that is, but this looks like who you want to contact. Here's her email. Oh, got him. Yeah, got

him. Nice try, mate. We're not falling for that Fido Master. So the other user, Marissa kept pushing and then Fidomaster kept advising her to, I think you need to talk to a lawyer. The New York Times writes, Marissa suggested leaving the videos on a thumb drive at a hotel in a city of your choice. The wilder her suggestions got, the more Fidomaster resisted.

He kept saying, I think you need to talk to a lawyer. And she'd be like, no, no, no, I've got these videos. I could leave them in a hotel for you. And then you could pass them onto your friends, the Steiner's. And he kept saying, I don't know who that is. Yeah. And stop smoking. smoking weed.

Yeah. So what? This is all very strange. You are high as a car. You're being a bit weird. That's so funny. Phytomaster. Like, you may, my name's Fidomaster, and you're making me feel uncomfortable.

I feel uncomfortable. According to former eBay employee Veronica Zay, Marissa, the Twitter profile, was two of her fellow analysts to sending messages. Fideromaster's reluctance to take the hotel bait could have suggested to eBay that perhaps their paranoia was out of control. control. Instead, leaders of the security team concluded that they needed to redouble their efforts. Yeah, truth's at that for sure. Hey, can I just double-check? Did I use the word honey pot right before? Felt good. Yeah, that's just that's true. We got to get a bit of feedback.

Yeah. I've never used it. I've never used it either. That's why I'm so... Honey pot or honey trap? Honey trap, sorry. Yeah, but I mean, for the trap, you've got to have some honey. Oh, that's true. Where do you put honey? In a pot. I've never, I've never actually heard anyone use, use it. But it sounded right if you know what I mean. I think I saw it in a TV show or a movie recently. Okay. Honeypot.

Honey pot. Maybe it was honey trap. But it's sort of like a catfish, but it's someone who's... Oh, yeah. A honeypot scheme is a cyber security tactic that uses decoy systems called honeypots to attract and trap cyber attackers. Congratulations. That's almost right to what I was saying, right?

Yeah. Basically. Sorry. Sorry, I was Googling at the same time. You're correct. Thank you for the fact. I wasn't trying to validate what you were doing, but it turned out that way because you beat me to the race.

Sorry. And then I felt silly. Like, I felt like one of the security team at eBay, so I had to make it look like how they should feel. How they should feel. They do not feel that way, but they should feel that way. But they're just subbing down. They're like, yeah.

No shame. Too perfect. Fidomaster thinks that he's got the upper hand, but... No, no, no, we're about to invest more muddy than this. We're always three steps ahead of Fidomaster. We're throwing away our lives on this. Fottomaster cannot fathom how large our honeypot is. My wife just left me.

And I think she's in go-hoots with Fitomaster, and that's how I know I'm on the right track. I'm not allowed to see the children ever again. I'm this close to getting Fido-Mast. This close. My white whale A guy with Tens of followers on Twitter Tens

So Enist Steiner Enistina Has no idea that people Are losing their minds over her posts And on August 1st, 2019 She wrote a post about a lawsuit eBay had filed against Amazon

Although it was only fairly innocuous And consisted of only a couple of paragraphs It contained a light note of skepticism about CEO Devin Wenig strategy, and the CEO was irate. 33 minutes after the e-commerce article went up, he texted. This is the CEO texted Wymer, his communications chief. Quote, if you are ever going to take her down, dot, dot, dot, now is the time.

Whoa. Wymer responded on it, and then he texted James Bohr, the head of global security and resilience. Quote, hatred is a sin, and I am very sinful. How are they, how's it getting more embarrassing? They're not doing little poems. I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought they peaked with the graffiti on the fence, but. Oh, it gets so much more embarrassing. When Bohr signaled that he was ready to escalate, Wimer replied, amen, I want her done, couple of letters.

They are, they really do think they're Tony Soprano, but they're not doing it right. Well, he, then he continued, she is a biased troll who never. needs to get caps, burned down. Also a phrase that is never used in relation to, like, taking someone down. Burn them down. What are you talking? Then Boston Magazine writes that Wymer then added, quote, I'll embrace managing any bad fallout.

We need to, quote, sorry, capitals, stop her. It's, yeah, it's very far. Like, you think Tony Soprano would just be like, he'd probably just nod and go, yeah. Yeah, Tony Supano would make it sound cool at least, like, and definitely wouldn't misplace capital letters. I don't think you'd be leaving such a record of it as well. On his written record. His work phone. Yeah, he's on the text messages.

He's on Facebook Messenger. I just need to make this clear, what I'm saying? In all caps. I just executed the job, and by job I mean, that person you wanted me to kill. Wink emoji, if you know what I mean. He's like, let me get one thing straight. we will not be using code words. I get confused when you use code words.

Code words are a sin. I'm not very simple. In this case. But in other case. In other cases, very sinful. In terms of crimes, I'm very happy to commit them. And I have, here's a list of crimes I have committed already. I have and I'll do it again.

Just to prove that I am what I say, what I am. A criminal. So the CEO, Devin Wenning, was about to go on a trip to Italy and Strypefeld for the New York Times rights, e-commerce bites needed to be taken care of before he returned oh yeah oh that's quite that's quite vague he's taking care of yeah that's good that's good well and he's gone to Italy I think this guy's starting to get it oh yeah that threw me off the centre I was like these guys aren't bad after all yeah he's in Italy so James Bohr and the analysts got planning how are they going to

handle the super threat that was this wholesome couple and their small online blog well I'm The Threat Matrix. Yeah, the Three Matrix, they are definitely at the bottom of the Threat Matrix. You know, you were saying Rom-com, Dave was saying maybe it could be an action movie. I think this story could be both. They're living a rom-com absolutely oblivious to this, like, this bumbling action plot going on beside and around them. It's like a Mr. and Mrs. Smith spoof. Oh, yes.

We love a spoof. I think that's an A-grade spoof right there. I think I've got an idea about what they can do, like, to up the ante, to deal with them, to handle them, if you will. I think they should scrawl some extra stuff on the fence. Oh, that's great. Oh, yes. What about different colours? Yeah.

Different colours and also capitalise some words. Capitalise some words and not others and write something to the effect of like, stop writing about eBay. Yeah. Oh, that's really good. That's cryptics. From Anonymous. From Anonymous, Capitals. You know who we are.

Yeah. But also, Wink emoji. Don't tell anyone who we are, please. But we don't mind if you do. And this fence is now covered in our fingerprints. But there's so much paint on the fence you can't read it anymore. What does that say?

That's actually, they've done a great job here. Did people just come in and paint our fence? It actually looks great. It looks. It's really interesting. It takes ages to paint a pika fence. Thanks so much. This looks so nice.

Complements the awnings. So in preparation, Mr. Bore, of course. Ornings is obviously another name. It's just a little bit between Warnocky and... Oh, that's good. And Bore, Bornings, born identity, which is what they think they're in. Yes.

They actually refer to it as an op. Like Black Ops, they refer to the op. Oh. Which is also embarrassing. So in preparation, Mr. Bore, the head of the analysts, of course, put on a clip from a movie to inspire them. They watched the scene from Johnny Be Good and 1988. teen comedy in which a villainous football coach must deal with a host of pests arriving in his house simultaneously, a delivery guy with hundreds of dollars of unwanted pizza,

singing and dancing Harry Krishna's and their elephant, a rodent exterminator, a male stripper. Boar asked his team for inspiration and someone suggested, hey, why don't we send a coffin? Oh, that's good. Again, Stripe fell for the New York Times writes, The security chief made it clear that eBay's leadership supported taking action. boarding a message from communications chief, Mr. Weimer, in which he declared that Mrs. Steiner and Fadomaster, the Twitter account, quote, have seemingly dedicated their lives to erroneously trashing us.

They just live in such an... At that exact moment, they're having ice cream together. Yeah. Going, want a lick of my flame? Yeah, what are we going to do later? We should watch a movie or something. Oh, that'd be lovely. That'd be so nice.

They've dedicated their lives. Are you going to... It's starting to feel to me, Kirstie, that Dave's going to reveal that all these people, Wymer and all them, are like angsty goth teens. We're going to send them a coffin. Yeah. That'll show them. Yeah, and if that doesn't show them, we're going to lure them into the woods.

Yeah. We're going to dack them at prom. Dack them and prom. So, Wymer continued in the message that Bo, Bo, Bo, showing the crew saying, look, the executive support this. This is what he's written to me. And the message that he showed continued from Wymer. I genuinely believe these people are acting out of malice and caps.

Anything we can do to solve it must be explored. And he signed off with whatever, full stop. It full stop takes full stop. With text was in capital's, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. I actually think that those three were sent as separate text messages. Whatever, full stop. Full stop, takes full stop.

That is badass. This is so funny as well because this is like, this is at the beginning of like when people started becoming actual menaces online. Yeah. Like, can you imagine anyone from this company trying to endure like being a comedian now? It's like if this is winding them up, it's like every time any of us supposed to stand up pep, when's the funny thing again?

Oh, anyone can be a comedian these days. Like, we would spend all day painting people's fences. Oh, man, I'd love to paint the fence. When I put the clip up within 30 seconds on TikTok, four people had seen it. Quote, someone commented, this did not happen. I'd love to paint that person's at Winchester, X, Y, Z, 449, just on someone's fenced in Brunswick. Graffiti, yes, it did. But, like, literally right.

Like, this, companies would have, like, millions of these people now. That's crazy. And it sounds like all they're doing is saying, hey, maybe should treat, you know, the sellers better. Yeah, like, they're not even doing anything bad, right, but it says, like, literally. That sounds like pretty gentle suggestions. Yeah. Dedicating their lives to trashing us. Yeah, to trashing them.

And you know what happened to them. If they want to trash us, we're going to make them trash. We're going to put them in the trash compact. Oh, no, not the trash compactor. Dedicating their lives to trashing us. Okay. in their lives. If anyone's being trashed, it's the CEO who's being paid 152 times more than you're being paid. And you're a contract worker who could be fired at any second.

Big time being trashed. Yeah. Well, don't worry. I don't chew pens anymore, mate. I'm certainly not singing to myself to get myself awake when I'm working crazy hours. That's a fireable offence. So eventually, they came up with, this is the analyst, what I like to call a full proof plan. They were going to launch a series of harassments on the Steiner's to really shake them up and distract them from being able to write any negative blog posts. Then, stage two, eBay would come in and offer assistance to stop the attacks, making the company look good, and therefore start to get favorable coverage on their website. They called it the White Knight Strategy, which makes me think of diehard.

Hans, Boobie, I'll be your white knight. Yes. So that's what they thought they would do. They'd harass them to the point that they couldn't write anything, and then they'd call up and say, oh, you're being harassed. Well, we can help with that. We're eBay. We're the good guys.

And then their new post would say, eBay helped me. eBay helps people. Somehow, eBay knew about the harassment. Yeah, that's great. It was a bit weird. It trickled back to them. Yeah. Somehow trickled back, which I guess can happen.

All paths lead to eBay. Yeah. Exactly. I cannot believe eBay survived this. I've used eBay since this. Like a few times. Never again. Never again.

No more of Kuba's for me. No, right. They didn't watch Die Hard. but they did watch the 2008 Ridley Scott film Body of Lies where a fake plot draws out a real terrorist and they thought that's what we've got to do. So the team began sending Twitter messages

to Ina Steiner via... Dave. Inestina. Thank you. Enastana. Why are you introducing a new character? Who's Enastana?

What? Enistina. And of course they sent messages via a fake account, which they're very good at. This one was called at 2E underscore Eli. The account purported to be

from Samoa, it had a skull as a profile picture and claimed to be an eBay user who had his sales affected by the e-commerce by its website. Ina ignored the messages, and they just got angrier and more abusive. So she's doing exactly what eBay should have done. What they should have done? Inna genuinely doesn't care. She's like, whatever. She's so funny.

She's doing what they should have done. Ignore. And the dog patter Twitter guy, whatever he was called, master. Phidomaster. Photomaster. Dog patter. He's like going, you really should talk to a lawyer.

Like, he's giving great advice. Yeah, you should talk to a lawyer of anything. These two, like, amateur sort of hobbyists are being way more professional than the huge... Than this company that has tens of thousands of employees. So, but she ignored the messages. They got angrier and more abusive. Culminating in one that read,

I guess I'm going, I'm going with NG, to have to get your attention another way, bitch. This is a message they sent. And this is when the 1980s, Johnny Be Good Strategy started. And at 4pm on August 10, a package arrived at the Steiner's house. And this is truly unbelievable. It contained a blood-covered pig carcass. What?

I thought, can I say what I thought it was going to be? Yeah. A poo. And I thought I was being, I thought that was like out of control, me thinking that they sent them a poo. I would say that is out of control, Chrissy. Yeah, don't you think? Wouldn't you rather receive a poo than a blood type of pig in carcass?

Are they meat eaters? Well, and it certainly wasn't a pig to be eaten. It was like one that you would conduct like a... Yeah, like you don't say carcass in terms of like a... Like you would dissect if you're a scientific company. So you can buy things like this online, which they've done and they've got their address and shipped it to them. Do you think they would have gotten it through eBay and obtained a staff discount?

Making sure the trail can lead right back to them as well. Yeah, totally. It arrived with a receipt with all the billing information. The company credit card. A pig carcass. A blood-covered pig carcass was delivered to the Steiner's, and 14 minutes later, the fake account from Samoa on Twitter, messaged again and said in all caps,

do I have your attention now for question marks? Did they just go to the lawyers? We're going to get a lawyer in here. Yeah, there's a pig carpet that's on the doorstep. Do you want it? Yeah. No, they should have got the scientists involved. Do you need any need to do any sort of pig experiments?

Well, that's what I was going to say. Little did they know that David and Enosthena were actually backyard biologists. Oh, that was so stoked. We're working on a cure for cancer. This is great. This is great. We were going to watch a movie tonight. This is even better.

Such a wholesome couple. The Steena's emails were then signed up for irritable bowel syndrome news. Satanic Temple Membership and Sin City Fetish Night Newsletters In one day they were signed up to over 50 strange email newsletters like this Wow They were understandably freaked out And called the local police saying they weren't sure

Who was behind it But we're convinced it was related to the graffiti on their fence And because someone who graffered their fence And because someone who graffited their fence and sent them something They obviously knew where they lived So they were really freaked out Then more deliveries arrived Including a funeral wreath

A Book titled grief diaries surviving the loss of a spouse. It's actually quite thoughtful. Like, if you're insinuating that you're going to bump off someone's partner, like sending them a general to track their emotions. Maybe you can pregame this. It's actually quite moving. You might as well start the morning now.

We're so sorry, but this could help. We're about to kill your partner, but this will help you get through the aftermath. And this is all official eBay policy, basically. This is coming from the higher-ops. Remember, they've said that they've okayed it. They've said that whatever it takes. And make sure after we kill your spouse that you contact the employee assistance program because they'll help you navigate the loss of your partner.

That's quite helpful. They're also sent live fly larvae, a box of live spiders. Fly larvae is so funny. That's really funny. But great for these backyard biologists. They're like, wow, this is fantastic. They'll love it. And then a box of live spiders.

I mean, what do you feed the spiders? It's perfect. Yeah. The fly larvae. That's great. Well, you could, and you could put the fly larvae into the rotting pig carcass. They'll feed on there. You'll be able to, you'll create flies for years.

Based on that, they feed the spiders. You've got a spider farm. Oh, my gosh. It's a cell sourging admission to your spider house. What they've done is they've created some sort of like natural living museum at the Siener's house. This is, it's beautiful. So beautiful. Also a box of live cockroaches?

There you go. Great. We've got a second exhibit. More feed. And luckily, a gecko. Just a gecko off three days later. Wait, actually, a male and female mating pair of geckos. With one on the way.

They hadn't eaten for weeks and they were delighted to see the box of cockroaches. Oh, this is all this time to feast. Then the next day on August 11, Steve. This is the craziest thing of everything. ever heard, I think. Honestly, this is, what is this episode 5 or 20 or something? This is the wildest story I think that's ever been on the show. Reading it, I was like, holy-ish.

What that? Holy shit. Are you sure this is real? This is real. This feels like you're like you have fallen for an April Fool's Day prank or something. You're like, I'm dissociated from it. Like, it's so insane. You're like, you don't even think of it being real, do you?

Like, it's like what's, it's a plot from an insane movie. Yeah. Because they have watched a bunch of movies and gone, let's do the most insane bits from this movie and this movie and this movie. And I think it would be, if it was just some sort of weird community beef, that would be crazy in itself. Yeah. But the fact that this is coming basically with the OK of the CEO of eBay.

Yeah, like a massive, massive corporation. This is the wildest thing I've ever heard. It's so good. It's really good. Well, it gets wilder because on August 11th, Steve Wymer, the communications Chief sent bow or bore a text that said quote i want to see ashes as long as it takes whatever it takes wait so he's saying killer he's obsessed with the burning well i'm certainly not saying that or burn the house but he's saying i want to see ashes i think he's sort of being a bit

metaphorical like cricket fan yeah i want to see the ashes can you get me tickets can you get me tickets i'm in italy uh i think it's coming up in the english summer huge fan of cricket love to be at lords can you get me tickets to boxing day obviously day one or two because it probably won't go the distance. Bazball. That's just how it is. I know that as an American eBay executive. He knows Basball.

I know Basball. Then the Steiner's neighbours received packages that had David Steiner's name on them, including copies of that month's Hustler magazine called Hustler Barely Legal that touted, quote, eye-popping 18-year-olds. So they tried to make him look like a super-perve to his neighbours.

Oh. And he had to go around and be like, that's not for me. Someone is sending weird shit, okay? Yeah. I don't know. Like, would they believe that? Because that sounds insane.

He had to go around and prove that the dot-com bubble had nursed. He had to go around with the box of spiders and saying, I also got sent this, okay? Barely legal is such a hectic thing that is a term. Like, that is a term that is used on magazines. As like a sales device. Yeah. It's hideous. Like, it's in the press at the moment, right?

Because Bonnie Blue was coming back over for the barely legal. schoolies you know oh so it's still out there it's still kicking around but barely illegal because schoolies for people at this end of year school leave as celebrations where people are what 17 18 years old yeah yeah yeah and so she's like you know she's got that Netflix documentary and stuff now at the moment and she makes adult videos oh I think yeah yep yep yep the whole the whole the barely legal premise of like going to schoolies and like I think she had her visa rescinded in Australia Oh, what, I can't come into your country.

Yeah. And root people who I think are barely legal. Oh, check on ease. So it's still there. But the term is, it's current. Yeah. But you're right, it's horrible. It's like, let's get rid of it.

Yeah. It is, like, I'm probably when I was barely legal, I didn't think of it as being so crook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like now, it's like, oh, that's, uh, that's no good. Yeah, I think we should emphasize aggressively legal. Yeah, yeah. So legal, it's not funny.

Mulfs all the way. So he's had to go around. Or maybe they've gone around and said, oh, David, we actually got a delivery for you. And he's had to be like, that's not. I swear, I didn't bother that. Anyway, the Steen has also got a phone call from a sex shop chain who had been given their number and told the couple

had been interested in opening a franchise, which, to be clear they were not. then more messages from the fake Twitter account that was supposedly from Samoa came through also escalating and became more threatening one said written in like terrible terrible grammatical stuff when like W-E-N

when you hurt our business you hurt our families people will do caps anything to protect family five exclamation marks yeah la familiar just been watching Fasten Fury just is a really quick aside as well like of all the places that they could have chosen that Twitter account to have been from.

Like, Samoa is so specific. It is. And like, isn't it like a, it's like an idyllic island nation, isn't it? Beautiful place. I'm thinking of the right. Yeah. That's Samoa. Samoa.

Yeah. And there's American Samoa, but I don't know. No one's, no one's conducting these sort of bizarre pig sending campaigns from Samoa. Box of spider sending, gecko sending antics. That is, the amount of hours this company is spending now on shutting down in this blog that no one's heard of. Yeah, that no one's read.

It's strife and affecting. They're, I mean, I'd never heard of them now. I'm talking about them. Yeah. So, Ena and David were well and truly freaked out, but still had no idea who was behind the harassment. They stayed home and barely went out too afraid of some bizarre attack. And they also had to take care of all of their animals.

Yeah, the growing menagerie. They had a zoo. to run. Fucking hell. Have you had the iguana? Oh, no, I forgot. Where are the fly larvae? The iguana's hungry.

And this is actually like terrible for them. For the first time in their marriage, they slept in separate rooms in case there was an intruder, hoping whoever was attacked first meant the person in the other room could fight back or escape and call for help. And then use the grief book. Yeah. First thing you do, grab the grief book, then call for help. One of us has to survive because we've got that journal on losing a partner.

We've got to fill this out. We've got to fill it out. Otherwise, it's a waste. Well, I mean, I don't know how long do geckos live? Who's going to care for the gecko? And if one of the gecko's passes, you could read it to the other gecko, the remaining gecko. That's true. We have multiple geckos now.

That's right. We're getting a new one to live it every day. They were breeding pairs, so there's geckos for days now. Yeah. I mean, a quickly shallowing gene pool, but still, you know, maybe there'll be an out-of-town gecko dropping in every time. Who knows what these weirdos are going to sit next? Hey, we've sent some... Here are some exotic geckos.

He's a porpoist. Oh, man! The bathtub's already got a dugong in it. They're like, oh, luckily they also sent us this above-ground pool. It's actually been awesome. Comes this got a little filter. So Boston Magazine writes, Then, in a move that seemed to be plucked from home alone,

Ena rolled a laundry cart in front of their back door and piled it high with baking pans so that if someone tried to enter, the cookware would crash to the floor, letting them know someone was breaking in. McCulley Culkin, is that you? That's classic Culkin. Ena stashed a baseball bat in her bedroom

and a golf club in her office. David All but stopped sleeping, waking every two hours to turn on his iPad and watch the feed from his surveillance camera that monitored the next door. Sorry, that monitored the front door, I should say. That sounds great, but honestly, David, just put an alert on for any movement, and then you get a sleep sound, it will wake you.

Yeah. Just saying. And, like, what happens if they arrive in your two-hour sleeps? Yeah. Just put the alert on. And the iPad's off? Because instead of wake up and to anyone. Keep it on charge, mate.

Things are only- They're starting to drop the ball. I think they're starting to get to them. I think the lack of sleep is really getting to them. Yeah, and they're actually, I mean, they are now in charge of a menagerie. Yeah. Exactly train the spot. It's for attack.

Every two hours, someone else's feeding time. It's genuinely a better plan to distract them from their work by making them part-time zookeepers. That is genuinely a better plan than what they're doing. Oh, no, they've sent us some nocturnal animals. Oh, God. They're feeding in the early a.m. I'm a night shift now. I've got to stay up and care for the bat quality.

Well, I stayed up last night. David, it's your turn. It's your turn to tend to the bats. I need to sleep. Please. And would you believe things only got crazier because the next part of the plan

was more harassment but this time in person in mid-August employee Veronica Bay and her boss Mr. Bauer Mr. Baw

flew first class across the country to the Steiner's house in Natick, Massachusetts. Sorry, was that Veronica Bay? It's Veronica Zay.

Oh, Zay. I thought it was Bay. I thought it was Bay. The titular Bay. V-Bay. V-Bay acting on behalf of V-Bay. Z-B-B-Z-B-V-V-A working on the behalf of eBay works just as well. It's good.

And if you call Mr. Bough, Mr. Bay. Oh, my God. Because I've said his name every other way. Throw it in the mix. You spelled it as B-A-U-G-H. Yeah, that could be. I think I've been trying to go with Boar. But anyway, her, Veronica and the boss, Boar, who's the Mr. Fokker's guy.

Oh, not Bruce Springsteen. No. They flew first class across the country. So, remember, it's costing them thousands of fortune. To the Steenna's house in Natick, Massachusetts on the outskirts of Boston, Zay later reported to the New York Times that she was told she had to go. She felt really pressured to go, and she's on a contract. She wants to keep her job.

And they stayed at the Ritz Carlton, very nice hotel. They needed an extra set of hands to deliver the baby Rhino. It's a handful. It's a real handful. Like, deliver it or deliver it? Both. Gloves on it. They deliver the mother, and then they deliver the baby once.

that they arrive. Hey, we'll stick around until she gives birth. Then they met out with another guy called Mr Harville. And is he Samoan? Because otherwise, I don't think this in-person thing really works, does it? No, there is no Samoan person. Okay. Their plan was to install a GPS tracking device on the Steiner's Toyota,

but were foiled when they discovered that they kept it behind a locked garage. They were hoping it was on the street. They are so good. You can see them just going, oh, damn it. Oh, there's one step ahead, the Steiner's. But why would you want to track them? They work, they work from home. It's a website that they publish from their home office.

Yeah, what info are you getting? Where are they going? Oh, we got them just where we wanted. They're down at Walmart. They're coming back from Walmart again. Well, they've got popcorn for the movie night. I was at a local cafe yesterday having some lunch, and going up to pay, a little old lady was taking a while to figure out what she was doing.

and the staff were helping her out through her handbag, trying to find a wallet or whatever. And they found a tracking device. What? Which they realised that her, the older lady's kids had put in there to make sure, just to keep watch on her. Yeah, right. And she was like, she had no idea it was in there.

Oh, and then they... They were secretly tracking their mum. Well, she might get the wanders, right? Maybe, I guess so. She seemed like she was kind of, with it, apart from the fact that she couldn't find the money in a handbag. There might have been an incident. Yeah, maybe.

You know, where she slipped off the radar for me. They're tracking you. They were really, your kids are tracking you with this. Because the mum probably wouldn't have known what it was, I was I guess. Wow, that's roused up by the Kathleen's craft. And she put on the counter, took off her heel, crushed it. She swallowed it. Yeah.

The shattered remains. She was like down the hatch. That would have been a fun, fair. dinner last night. Yeah, yeah. They found a tracking device. You'd have to be like, who put that there? Who put that there?

Just making your mum so paranoid. Was it eBay? Yeah, I just went down to get some banana bread and a latte from the peacock and Wren, and the staff there allured me to the fact, you've been tracking me. And then my mom must have to be like, you're wearing a wire, are you a cop, you legally have to tell me. They're the rules. So they get there and they discover, they want to put a tracking device on the car, but it's

locked. So they reportedly then went to a shop I know what they're going to do They're going to They're going to buy and send them a new car Pre-tracking it That's brilliant Like a Rolls-Royce or something

A car that you can't refuse Yeah But it's not a car you a car you can't refuse But it's got another pig carcass on the back See? Oh yeah Just to know Wait one But it's leather seat so it's fine

It'll wipe that plane It'll wipe off No they reportedly bought a crowbar And gloves to break into the car But never ended up following through and that. Instead, just followed the couple as they drove around. It was easier. Oh, sort of a manual tracking device. Yeah. Their eyes. Their eyes. And the, the seniors were worried that would be followed after the threats and weird stuff that had been

going on, and they reached out to local police. Bore and Co. had brought a radio to listen to local police reports and bailed on the surveillance when they heard they'd been spotted and reported to the police. But did they stop? Absolutely not. They just kept delivering weird stuff and harassing the couple in other ways. Pizza deliveries at 4.30 a.m. where payment was demanded. Craig's list ads that announced the couple were selling everything and their address was listed. Another one advertised their address as holding nightly swingers parties and wrote, quote, come knock on the door or ring the bell any time, day or night. Knew it. That one was real. Yeah. So, uh, the, the contact of the cops a while

ago, that's not gone anywhere. Are they like, sorry, nothing we can do? Oh, the cops have said a bit like, oh, we'll do some drive-bys past your house. Keep, you know, we'll investigate. But there's no evidence as to who's doing it so far but they are in they are sort of trying to work out who it is and then they have spotted like the steener's called the police and said i think i'm being followed right that's turned up that's when they just and it was like a full ebay decaled van yeah they're like um yeah the ebay mobiles three meters behind us the last seven hours it's driven by like the guys in a full eBay mascot attire.

Do they eBay have a clown or something like? Yeah, probably. So the security team ended up making four separate visits from California to Natick to stalk the couple. Remember, it's a six-hour flight each way. First class. First class.

So they're spending tens of thousands. Tens of thousands. On the third visit, David Steiner photographed the rental car following him. He noticed he was being tailed and called the police. He drove to the police station and absolutely shitting himself. He steadied his hand against the hearing wheel, took more than a dozen photos to make sure he got the license plate nice

and clear. And then he got out of his car once they drove away because he was at the police station. And he collapsed from fear. A police officer found him sitting on a retaining wall, unable to stand up because the poor man was having a panic attack. Because he's being followed by... Yeah. By people, and he's getting threats on his life.

People are sending weird shit, including, like, yeah. Like he's getting a great thing, sense. Yeah, and he's not... But he's also getting some bad things. Yeah. And he's not sleeping because he's having to take care of the things that have been. He's having to turn the iPad on. The gecko's not eating.

He's having to feed it with a little baster. On the hour every hour. Back calling he's up to all hours. The swingers are coming through. It's absolute pandemonium. He'd be getting calls all the time. So he was incredibly relieved to see that his photo was clear. He's got the license plate.

On their fourth visit, the eBay team arrived to find an undercover cop car out the front of the Steens' house. a boar wrote on WhatsApp They are seeing ghosts now, loll So he's thinking We're really getting in these people's head That's so funny, it's like, no no, you're about to be busted for this Yeah, he was really He was really underestimating local native

Natick police who had figured out That a payment had been made on some of the pizzas With a gift card bought in Silicon Valley Just a few miles from eBay headquarters And the license plate of the car that David had photographed, was traced to Ms. Zay, Veronica Zay, who they found out... V-Zay for eBay. Z-Zay, are they the pronouns, or is that your name, sorry?

They found out she'd worked at eBay because she'd used her own personal credit card to hire it. I reckon that's a mistake, but I don't think that's the mistake. It feels like they were making so many, like, paper trail errors. Yeah. That if it wasn't that, it would have been something else. Oh, yeah. I mean, no one was crossing a T or dotting an I anywhere. No, absolutely not.

So it was all coming together or falling apart if you're Bohr and the eBay crew. A detective arrived at the Ritz Carton to talk to Veronica Zay, but she slipped away. They're also rhymed. And headed. And they headed to the airport. The cops called her phone and her boss, Boar, answered and played dumb pretending. to be her husband. What a weird lie?

He's just creating characters. Yeah, I don't know where she is. Yeah, no, no, I haven't seen her in a while. You know, she went to the shops. You know what they're like? We've actually been arguing. There's a bit of trouble in paradise at the moment, actually. That would be just creating weird stories.

Anyway, the dog's sick. What? They'll be able to figure that she's unmarried or whatever, and it's just going to seem weird. But he's creating a lot. They got a hotel room at the airport whilst they waited. for their flight and uh ball played a clip from the will feral movie old school where a husband answers the door to a fellow who says i'm here for the gang bang and the new york times

writes he kept watching it over and over and laughing telling miss say to quote lighten up so he's just a really weird guy he's like i don't know if you get it watch it again watch this is a really funny bit you're missing the joke it's a spoof it's a spoof it's a Great spoof. Come on. Again. Again. You'll get it.

You're going to get it. Try. One more time. Why you won't? So I'll do it at three quarter speed. Even though they knew the police were investigating and knew who at least one of them was and had their phone number, they didn't stop the harassment. Stina soon found their address on our garage sale website stating, everything must go. So people just keep turning up to their house.

So, like, maybe even to the point that if they just stopped, then, they would have gone, oh, that they might have just forgotten about it or, you know. Yeah, but they kept going. But the fact they kept going is like, oh, they're going to keep chasing down this trail they're on. Yeah, like, but if you just stop going, oh, shit, the cops are probably like, oh, if they haven't done anything for a while, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's over. It got a bit out of hand when the FBI got involved,

as police suspected that what was happening to the Steen has potentially involved into state crime, and cybercrime. So it's now the FBI's jurisdiction. Oh, and well, but if the CIA get involved, then that fellow from earlier, he could get his wife. Yeah, get the wife to help out. Get the wife to help out. She can probably make you go away.

Yeah, it's sort of like, yeah. She's sort of a FIFA CIA. Yeah. She's actually there right now. Yeah, and she's real. Yeah, she's very real. She just goes to a different CIA. You wouldn't know her.

She goes to a different CIA. So at the same time, eBay's lawyers began their own internal investigation. Because even though Boar was getting texts from higher-ups who were talking directly to the CEO, it was still basically a black-op sort of mission, even within the company. And then they had to start their own investigation. Their own HR were like, what? What is this? So then looking to it, according to prosecutors, Mr. Boar's security team began a cover-up and tried to think of who they could blame for purchasing the gift card used near Boston.

They went through their database of known threats, their threat matrix to eBay. And they looked for someone local to be like, who can we say probably bought this? They also tried to make dossiers on the Steeners for the purpose of sharing them with police to, quote, make them look crazy, as one of them put it, and discredit the harassment complaints against eBay. They wrote fake emails back and forth to create a chain to make it look like they just discovered the threatening tweets and messages from Tui underscore Eli. and considering trying to frame a real-life Samoan person for the threats. Oh, now they're getting, I think they're getting to it now. We've got to find a salon.

Now the plan. Like, let's make this plan more elaborate. I think if we make it big enough, that it involves sort of everyone in the world. Yeah, we've got to bring, it was hiding in plain thought, we've got to bring an actual Samoan person into this. It's the only way.

Aren't we glad that we didn't create a fake country? And we actually, I mean, And we thought we did, but we just happened to... Yeah, Samoa's a real place. We've got the Scrabble letters out. Would you believe it? Samoa's real. It's real.

And so now we can pin this on one of the local. Fantastic. And there's like a couple of million of them. Easy. It's good. It's fail-proof. Beautiful. So prosecutors would later all led to that they spent hours coming up with cover-up strategies.

One of the eBay security team, Brian Gilbert, phoned the Steeners to offer eBay support, which remember was part of the White Knight strategy. I'll come and ask, hey, here, here, you're having a rough time, I'll help you out. Just made phone contact, Mr. Gilbert soon told the team. They are totally rattled and immediately referred me to local Natick police. They even tried to trick eBay's own legal department when they called Veronica Z, but she lied and said she'd been in Boston to attend a conference. Which, of course, they could probably look into and find out this isn't true.

During the interview, she was on speakerphone and said, Stephanie Pop, her immediate supervisor, remember who called herself Mom, was coaching her on what to say whilst the eBay investigation. Pop? Is that the nickname Mom, like Mom and Pop? Is that the idea? Oh. You know, but Pop was...

The sound that the dot-com bubble message went to finally first. It was more like quite an explosion. It got up a lot of pressure. Pop was also the nickname of Jim Boar from Jim's Angels Oh He said he was the pop Stephanie Pop Sorry he was the mom

He was the pop yeah And pop was the mom Oh my God It's so confusing And pop was also the sound of the bubble Oh my God This goes all the way to the top This for really does

The top of the pop Top of the Pop You can see how If you spend enough time with this story You also lose your mind I'm feeling like I've absolutely lost this I lost one 45 minutes ago, and that's probably being kind. I think it was long before that.

We came in and not a great state. Fortunately, my next paragraph is titled, Aftermath, because it wasn't enough to stop the internal investigation. Veronica was lying, saying, no, I was at a conference. I don't know what you're talking about. And a couple of weeks later, members of global security and resiliency, including Jim Boar, were put on administrative leave. I have full pay.

Double pay. Double pay. You've done a great job. E-pay. Double E-Pay. Double E-Pay-Pel. A few weeks later, on September 18, Veronica Zay got a message from her job agency.

Remember, she was on a contract or a temporary contract that said, we find it necessary to terminate your employment effective today. And she received no severance. So she was just immediately fired. The criminal investigation continued and on or in June 2020, the US Department of Justice charged six former eBay employees and contractors with conspiracy to commit cyber stalking

and conspiracy to tamper with witnesses and a seventh former employee was charged in July. Massachusetts US Attorney Andrew Lelling said this was a determined systematic effort by a senior employee and employees of a major company to destroy the lives of a couple in Natick or because they published content the company executives didn't like. For a while, they succeeded, psychologically devastating these victims for weak

as they desperately tried to figure out what was going on and to stop it. James Bohr, who was Mr. Fokker, he pleaded guilty in April 22 and got the harshest sentence of 57 months in prison, which is a weird way to say, what is that, four years and nine months? Five years and seven months Yeah No, four years and nine months I guess

Don't point at me I'm off my mind Four years and seven months That was right at nine months It was right the first time His cell becomes his circle of trust Can picture him in there Just try

It's like Anane chat like that To the other inmates And the cell man's like Get me out of here, please A shiv I found a shiv Is he the one who stabbed the chair

How does it feel to be scratched entirely from the threat matrix. David Harville, who I did mention once, eBay's former director of global resiliency, pleaded guilty to his participation in the harassment, and he was sentenced to 24 months or two years in prison. Stephanie Pop, the mom. Who was coaching, down at the end,

coaching to say, the conference. You're at a conference. She was eBay senior manager of global intelligence. She pleaded guilty herself in October 2020, sentenced to 13 months in prison, Veronica Z. One year and one month. Thank you so much.

That was so quick. For someone who's lost their mind, that was amazing. That's a baker's year, isn't it? I can start. Yes. Just carried the one? Yes, I guess it is. We have lost it.

That really got me. It's really good. I'm crying. I've never heard of 13 months be referred to as a baker's year. year, but that's good. I don't think anyone's ever referred to as that. Veronica Zay, who was being encouraged about attending the conference, but it has spent a lot of time in Boston on these weird little missions.

He pleaded guilty in October 2020 and was sentenced to two years probation, including one year of home confinement, which I only just made the connection. That was October 2020, and we're about to head into a bunch of lockdown. So that's perfect. That's great timing. Yeah, I got home detention as well. And I didn't do shit. Yeah, I didn't do anything.

Andrew Hamilton, the comic who he was in jail during that time as well, he's like, it was a pretty good time to go to prison, really? Oh, yeah. That's great. No FOMO. Yeah. You're like, everyone's in the same boat. Oh, no, I've lost my liberty.

Three others pleaded guilty and when also sentenced, eBay agreed to pay a $3 million criminal penalty as part of a deferred prosecution. agreement, related to six criminal charges in the matter. But that $3 million was paid to the US Treasury, not the victims, leaving the Steeners to pursue compensation through the civil court system, which they have. In July 2021, Ina and David filed a suit against eBay Inc., including former CEO David Wenig, former Chief Communications Officer Steve Weimer. Oh, man, they're going to make so much cash out of this.

That's got to be a crazy number. Unfortunately, all the money is going to go on animal feed. They're such great people for like Kiskeeping the hour But they're breathing out of control The civil trial was due to begin in March 2025 But it has been moved to March 2026

So watch this space It's still ongoing They are going to be Billionaires And they've got 24 hours starting now Prove your good people Prove your good people I reckon they will

They might be the first billionaires He'd do it Communications Chief, Steve Weimer was also fired by eBay but didn't face any criminal allegations, even though he was sending a lot of texts being like, I want to say ashes. According to Boston Magazine,

did he end up getting to see any cricket? No, but he was, according to Boston Magazine, hired the next year as the president and CEO of a local branch of the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. That feels right. A children's charity. Yeah, that feels good. Yeah, that seems right.

So, yeah, we obviously faced consequences. Yeah. Was it, how long was he out of a job? Weeks? A matter of months, maybe. Months. Maybe they could have even, it could have been a media. I think a children's charity is the right place.

I reckon a few months enough time to reflect on that psycho behavior. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, all right, everyone, I want Ronald McDonald House to burn the ground. I want to see Ashes. They're competing for funds with us. I want to see Ashes. Send them a pig carcass right now. But, like, he could have put an end to it, it's all right.

He's the boss. He's like, don't do this. And it wouldn't happen, I imagine. Well, he was reporting, he was, like, very high up. And then he was reporting directly to the CEO who didn't want people knowing he was paid 152 times more than his employees. Well, what happened to him? Well, he was not criminally charged.

And whilst the CEO winning's messages were deemed, quote, inappropriate by eBay, eBay's internal investigation concluded that the CEO did not know about the stalking in harassment activities. Yeah. Yeah, he would have had no idea. He was just sending messages, like, cryptic messages about, like, he wants them, you know, like he wants them punished. Yeah, he wants them dead.

So he has since received a knighthood. White knighthood. He very quickly left eBay in September 2019, like, you know, a month after this came out. The company said that, quote, there were a number of considerations leading to his departure. He left with a severance exit package. guess how much they paid him. I want you to have a guess. The golden parachute, guess how much it was?

Remember, celery was US $18 million per year? I mean, when you ask a question like this, it's either going to be funnily low or funnally high. It's $100 million. It is, well, it would be... I'm going to go the other way. I'm going to say $2.00. It would be close to $100 million in Australian dollars.

They paid him $57 million US dollars to leave. Sorry, I was doing it in Australian dollars. So I was correct. I was doing it in New Zealand. $2, New Zealand dollars. It's a great economy. So $2.85. So he left with like an unbelievable amount of money.

And then after the harassment scandal became news, Wenig was re-elected to the board of General Motors. Great. So all as well that ends well for the rich. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think, well, I think, you know, the people who needed to learn a lesson necessarily did, the victims.

Yeah. Unfortunately for them, they still feel... Their lesson being, don't blog about the big boys. You blog at the big boys. Get ready to get... Yeah. Hogged.

Burned. Hogged. Yeah, hog. Yeah. It works on two levels. That's good stuff. We're one and a half. Yeah, one point five.

I round up. One point five U.S. levels. So, the Stein is... Or Steeners still feel the ordeal that they went through. Boston Magazine wrote in 2021. Back in Natick at their beloved home, the Steeners are still living on tenter hooks. Anytime an important court date approaches,

because it's still going for years. David finds himself tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. Home deliveries of any kind are as nerve-wracking as ever. Ina and David are not sure they'll ever shake the sense of dread they feel any time soon. Anyone appears at their front door. Oh, man.

The freaks them out. And the bat colony just keeps growing. Oh my God, these little fuckers went stop breeding. And their shit is really thick. But they're so cute. It's like a gack. I can't get rid of any. It's less of a,

it's less of a shit, it's more of a gack. I call it the Gack cave. One area. Yeah, so they're being, they're traumatized. It changed their life. It was, it was weeks, but it was still, it's like, and it's going over now. Like, they, like, on a logical level, they know that the people,

They know who did it. They know it weren't, well, it shouldn't happen again, but... At the level of trauma is deeper than that, that they... Oh, it'd be horrible. Imagine wigging out every time the doorbell goes. Oh, my gosh. I mean, it's already annoying. I mean, what could that be?

But if you think it's like some sort of weird delivery or someone that could attack you would be even more confronting. You're right. I already hate it going off on for the end-com. I'm like, oh, not that again. But then, exactly, if you add a little bit of trauma into it, like, because I'm just like, oh, my gosh, I've got to run. the intercom before they do a runner.

I've got to put pants on. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not like I've got to put pants on and then receive delivery of a pig carcass. Yeah. Unless it is, you know, Thanksgiving or whatever. Unless I've ordered one. Which we know I only do twice a year. Yes, that's a big occasions.

Big occasions. Summer went to the solstice. Yeah, beautiful. You have a big spit. We all get invited around. Yeah, there's a big vegetarian house hog. It's a tofu. It's a tofu.

Oh, it's a tofu hog. Tofu. That's what I call my anyway. No. I've got one paragraph to go here, everyone. Okay. I reckon when they're billionaires, though, they'll hire a butler. They won't have to worry about their door anymore.

That's beautiful. It's true. So, again from Boston Magazine, because it does sum it up very nicely, one area of the Steener's life that doesn't seem to have been affected is their commitment to covering the e-commerce beat. each day as she has for almost a quarter of a century, which would be now, this is a few years ago.

Ena retreats to her office and bangs out as many as four posts, delivering to her readers valuable news, both good and bad, about the companies she covers. She has no plans to stop. I love that. This civil case is suing multiple people for several hundred million dollars is what they've asked for.

They've gone big with how much they've asked for. Fair enough. It's just a couple of severance. packages. Yeah. They're like, they're saying what everyone's getting paid. They're like, oh, we did not go big enough. Yeah, they're like, oh, the CEO, can we have 152 times what he got paid?

Yes. So it will be interesting to see what compensation they receive. Like I said, it's in a few months time at the time of recording or the time of release that it's back in court, but it keeps getting sort of punted down the road. Is it because eBay's doing that? Who knows? Sometimes the big boys. They probably have the best lawyers money can buy.

And they're going to absolutely flood you with injunctions. And I've seen a few of those court shows, good wife and stuff like that. So I know injunctions and objection, Your Honor, leading the witness, that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah. But that is my... Objection, you're right, ask and answered. Sustained. That's one of my favourite.

Sustained. Relevance. Oh, I'm going to allow it. Sustained. I'm going to allow it. Let's see where this goes. I'm not going to let this be a... I'm not going to let this be a...

A hunting incident or something. A precedent. Mm. Your Honor. Jury should disregard that. So how could they possibly? Anyway, that is... That is my report on the truly wild eBay stalking scandal of 2019.

Isn't that just... I hadn't heard of it. I saw it in the hat and I was like, eBay stalking scandal. That sounds crazy. It's wild. Good job putting that in the hat. Yeah, thank you so much again to Jackie Bowcage.

Or is it Bowcage? Oh, you know who that. I think we finally figured out the real identity of the mutt lover. The mutt lover? Fidomaster. Fidomaster. It's usually Jess's role to interpret his brain, so thank you so much. Boop and boop and boop.

We're on the cave. Well, honestly, yeah, because I thought it was going to be a pretty short report, but then I found a couple of great articles, and I was like, this is even more wild than I could ever possibly imagine. So remember that, I will remember that next time I'm buying Roger Moore suit for my dad for his 70th. That feels like months ago that you brought another. It's a real journey, isn't it?

Yeah, the dot-com bubble has finally burst. Finally burst. I mean, the dot-com boom was genuinely still going when we started this report. Yeah, and the internet has died entirely. It's finished. And we've got to keep doing, Matt and I are going to do everyone's favorite section of the show coming up.

But before you head off, Kirstie, we will put you out of your business. and let you go. Thank you so much for sticking around for so long on this Christmas Eve special. Yeah, just before you go one more time, it's Saran, Jiamana and Matt Stewart at Adelaide Fringe Melbourne Comedy Festival or the festival. That's for anyone listening who's into slam poetry, but if you enjoy very good stand-up comedy, or comedy, the only comedy show, touring Australia and New Zealand and potentially beyond next year is Lost for Words. It's Kirstiewebeck.com.

I'm coming all over the place. Please come. Please. Please.com. To my show. And please talk to Kirstie about the dot-com bubble afterwards and she'd be like, what are you talking about? No.

Then you're a reminder. No. I was unconscious for that whole episode. Thanks for having me. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you. You're the absolute best. We really appreciate you coming in.

And can I just say, Merry Christmas. And Merry Christmas to you too. Oh, Merry Christmas to you too. Wait, you there, boy. What day is it? Merry Christmas, comma, Eve. And to all of you also. So good.

She's done it again. And as we say goodbye to Kirsty, we also say goodbye to Matthew and say hello to Jess Perkins. You could just essentially do this yourself. I probably could have. Because I was not here for this episode. No, you missed it. Did you explain my absence at all? We said you were fine and here you are.

And I am. So what follow-up questions could you possibly have? Exactly. Why are we in the video of you watching on Patreon suddenly wearing different outfits? I mean, I assume you were in a different outfit last week. Nope. Okay. This is my Thursday outfit. We are recording this slightly out of order before the old Christmas period.

And, yeah, Matt, you were sick last week. Yes. Now, Matt has taken ill this week. Yeah, and they're not connected. And the only trooper carrying the torch is this guy right here. And yes, I am pointing it myself. Yep. We better touch wood, buddy.

Yeah, because these things pass, no, I had a horrific migraine. So that's not contagious. That's right. So that's good. But Matt is contagious. So we've sent him away. He's in quarantine. So I'm here for the most important and the most fun part of the show.

Exactly. But I don't have any context of the show because I haven't listened to it because it's not out yet at the time of recording this. Exactly. Well, don't worry because a lot of people just skip the whole episode, or the report part of the episode, and skip here to what a lot of people refer to as everyone's favorite section of the show. The part of the show where we get to thank and praise and I guess just talk about some of our most beloved listeners. People on our Patreon, they have gone to patreon.com slash do go on pod. Chucked in upwards of a couple of bucks per month, which we really appreciate it.

Thank you so much. And in exchange for your monetary contributions, you keep the show going and also get some rewards. That's how we describe them. Sometimes rewards. Because I do mispronounce that word. Now, what kind of things can people get, Jess, if they go on our Patreon? Well, we have four bonus episodes a month. We have full videos of the episodes as well.

So some people could be watching right now. That's right. So if you are on the bonus episode level or above, which also includes ad free listening and the video. Yes. This month, you will have had a Christmas extravaganza. We've done a Christmas quiz on the bonus episode. We watched Muppet Christmas Carol for the movie club, which was voted for by the Patreon.

We've got a final episode of this season of Dugo D&D, our Dungeons and Dragons show coming out. And a new season starting next month, so we don't skip a beat here. And also an episode that we recorded live in Tasmania that we deemed too salacious to go in the public feed. I listened back to a little bit of that last night. After seeing people in the Patreon group, the Facebook group, which is also one of the perks of being on Patreon is a friendliest corner of the internet. Some people were talking about it. And so I went back and listened and it's very funny. It's very, we had a lot of fun with the crowd there.

Yeah, it was, it was, Matt was in absolute peak form. Yes, it was P, imagine Matthew Stewart peaking. Yeah. And it happened live in Tasmania. And there was a point where some motorbikes went past and it was really loud, loud enough that we kind of paused to the show for a bit. And I did have the thought of, we'll probably have to edit that out because I doubt the the mics would have picked it up.

Oh, did you hear it? Oh, they picked it up all right. I didn't have to boost at all. It was so loud. It was so loud. Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Yes.

And the story, which was. we eventually got to was about the Beaconsfield Bank Robbery. Yes. Tasmania's most controversial gold heist ever.

That's right. A lot of fun. So yeah, anyway, if you look on the Patreon, it's also about, we're approaching 300 bonus episodes there. If you're on the, if you're looking for something

to binge over your Christmas break, if you're having one or a summer holidays or winter holidays. Honestly, I'd be concerned if you're binging 300 bonus episodes. They're not typically as long as our regular episodes,

but still. They definitely average it over an hour. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot. And we also, this section of the show is called the fact, quote, or question, where we get to hear from some of the supporters, and I believe, Jess, it has a jingle that goes something like this. Fact quote or question!

Who says this now? He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the sing. Perfect. I'm happy to read some out. We've got three fact-quarter questions this week. Oh, great. I should give you the context, Jess.

This is a Christmas Eve special this ever. So, just so you know when this is coming out. Okay, great. Just in case we can work that in anyway. Okay, it feels like you're telling me to work it in. Yeah, I'm also just reminding you to please buy my present soon. You've only got one day. I'm going to Chadston the Fashion Capital straight after this.

For their midnight shopping? Yes. Or is it 24-7 shopping? No, it actually, well, it used to be 36 hours. Yeah. But I don't think they even do it anymore because obviously, like, retail's dying because people are buying online. But back in the day when I worked there Yeah

Yeah you were open from the 23rd You would stay open overnight And close at like 6pm on Christmas Eve Wow And one year, I've said this before But it still blows my mind I had to count the cash And I was holding enough for

Maybe it was a boxing day actually But I was holding my entire hex debt In cash in my hand Which is your student loan Which is tens of thousands of dollars Like 2530K I was like And then you gave that to a big conglomerase.

Yeah, I put it in the safe. Where it belongs. Okay. Anyway. Your boot. Drove away. My ass. Haven't worked there a long time.

And they can't find me. Yeah, so the fact about a question second, this is the part of the show where people are right in, a fact, a quote, a question, a suggestion. A brag. A brag. A brag. A brag. Yes. We've had all sorts of things.

It's really, it's your time to shine. Yeah, some people also give themselves a little nickname. They give themselves a title? A title, I should say. It's a bit more formal. First fact-quoted question for this week comes from Andy Swibs. Swibsy has given himself the title, line manager of sick of all this shit! Which I appreciate.

Oh, and Swipes is gone for a bit of a rant. Great. Love a rant. And, you know, I'm just having a look. It's not, it's long. Sizable and in caps. It's not all in caps. Okay.

But it's, you know, just preemptively, I haven't read this, but I'm just thinking to myself, I'm glad we put a bit of a word limit on this. Okay. Yeah, that's why we had to start putting a small, a still size of a word limit on these. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can still talk for a while, but, you know, not a do-go-on-length report. Yeah, which we were receiving. That's right.

All right, let's hear Swibsy's rant. I'm just sick of all the negative shit we've been seeing here in the States this year. The insanity of partisan politics, healthcare costs skyrocketing for the people already struggling, the most to afford insurance, somehow justifying treating people in this country like second and third class humans. I'm mad! But, as usual, hearing this pod and chatting

with amazing friends in the Patreon group and hearing you three just be good people is really, really nice. And I'm happy to have this as we head into the rest of the holiday season. Early December at the time of writing, lull. Early December at the time of recording, my friend. True. You all are the best. We celebrate,

he puts that in quotation marks, The solstice in our house and try to focus on keeping thoughts positive and hanging lights in the darkest time of the year and that after the solstice the days only get brighter. So I would love to say, happy, insert the holiday you celebrate and I hope it brings you some happiness and light in the darkest time of the year for us Northern Hemisphere people at least and that you southern peeps enjoy the rest of the warm weather and the long days.

Also, go Chicago Bears and Buffalo Bills. Swipesie, I should have known not to worry when you said, a bit of a rant and you started angry? Yeah. I should have known that you'd turn it around. Absolutely. You landed that plane. You landed that plane and you brought it back to what it's all about,

which is just fucking hanging in there, really, isn't it? Yeah, that's right. Hanging in there through the darkest times. And yeah, sorry to rub it in your face, but it is like, it's quite warm and sunny and beautiful. It's the best time you hit you here. The jaccaranders are out. I'm loving it. You are loving this, Jacarandas.

I fucking love a jackaranda. Oh, I love him! Thank you for that Swibsy. I love it. Good to get it off your chest. Yes. Next up, Stephen Edmonds, who's giving himself the title this week of continuing to be a sufferer of factoids. You've got to get it off your chest. I got her, and he's, would you be surprised, giving us a fact?

I'm here for it. Oh, well, it's a question, I suppose, but then I suppose he answers it, and that's the fact. How many times have people moved the Yarra River? Oh. The Yarra River is the big river. that runs through Melbourne. That's right. I'm from the hills down and then to the city.

What do we... Jeez, how many times have they moved it? I know. Let's see. Oh, God, I accidentally scrolled down to like the bottom of it. Okay. It depends on how and what you count, but here are a few. In 1846, the Melbourne gardens were founded on the south side of the Ere River.

The river was straightened with the original course now forming part of the ornamental lake. That's interesting. Like the botanical gardens? The area where the Yarra joins the Maribonong started to be modified in the late 19th century, completed in 1886, the Cood Canal, straightened out the river, allowing for larger ships. This created Cood Island. I don't know what that is. That's cool. C-O-O-D-E, I can see you're Googling it.

Yeah, sorry, I'm interested in that. In front of Customs House was a set of cascades known as Yarra Falls that marked the separation. between salt and fresh water. This was demolished in 1883. The apartment building Freshwater Place takes its name from this location. Huh. That's interesting. Various docks were constructed with West Melbourne dock excavating 3 million cubic yards

of material to open in 1892. It took six days to fill with water. Wow. In 1928, a channel was cut through an old quarry in Burnie, maybe Burnley, to help control flooding forming, oh no, Herring Island. I know where Herring Island is. Do you look that up too? There's a few more.

Harry Island, Richmond, so I guess it's... Oh, it probably is Burnley, I guess. Oh, yeah, that's the... Yeah, I do know that one. It's now a sculpture park. And there's like a little... There's a little boat that goes across to it. Huh.

From the main... It's like a very small part of the river to cross, but then you can only get it. And some people nickname it Snake Island, I believe. Oh. By 1950s, the old course around Kud Island had been filled in, making it no longer an island. That's why we don't know it.

Okay, when the South Eastern Freeway was extended to Turac Road in the 1970s, a section of the river was straightened. This section of the river is lined with blue stone blocks. Now you're talking my kind of, my area. Oh, I love it. Construction of the Eastern Freeway, also in the 1970s, truncated another bend in the river, just upstream of Dites Falls. Lovey Dites. It's a pretty underwhelming fall. If you're going looking for a proper waterfall, it might be underwhelming.

Right, but it's a good place for it. little dip. Gorgeous place for a walk, people do some kayaking there, can go to Abbotsford convent for a beautiful bakery, get a nice coffee. Okay. These are some of the main alterations made to the Yarra in the lowest section close to Melbourne CBD. Wow, there you go. Yeah, I don't think I knew about any of the, the alterations at all. No, me either. To be fair, the most recent of the ones he's given us there was like the 70s. Okay. So, So we are just far too young, I think. Too young.

Yeah, too young. Yeah, just so young and by every metric. That's fun, Stephen. Thank you for that. Yeah, awesome. I'll hear about the beautiful brown jewel. Love the brown jewel of Melbourne. Our gorgeous Yarra River.

And finally, this week for our fact quota questions, it's Tamara Potts. Tamara's title is Senior Associate of Doing Stuff that, in brackets, contracts division. Love that. And Tamara is giving us a brand, and thank you. Oh, I like this.

Love that. Hopefully this has been announced by the time you read this, but I've sold two more books. Woohoo! Huge. They're set in Australia and the first is a murder mystery featuring podcasters. Matt actually helped me by answering some podcasting questions a few years ago. So he'll be in the acknowledgements for sure. Oh, fantastic.

I think we recently caught up with Tamara in Perth. And she's telling me about the podcast part of the new book. Which is very exciting. So cool. The second one was inspired by a do-go on topic, but I can't say anything else because of spoilers. And for the second one, I've been using a lot of great names you've mentioned in your episodes over the years. Thanks for all the inspiration. I can't wait to see you in Perth in November.

Well, we've seen you. Yes, that's right. We caught up for a drink with tomorrow and a few other patrons after the show. Awesome. Matt and I did because we stuck around to do a stand-up show as well. Yes. Because you guys are gluttons for punishment. I did two back-to-back pods and then a stand-up show and then Connor.

the editor of Who Knewit with Matt Stewart and just what rides a rom-com was there. Yes. We got up with a few other people and it was just very nice. Yeah, so lovely. And then Matt and I got a McDonald's meal on the way home. Oh, my God, bliss. Midnight, Perth time, which 3 a.m. Melbourne time, which we were still basically feeling because we'd flown in that morning.

And then we flew out the next morning. Yes, and I had another hungry Jack's meal. And I had McDonald's breakfast. So basically I had three fast food meals in 24 hours and... That feels right. At our age, our bodies handled that really well. I felt that the whole flight home. But congratulations, Tamara. That's absolutely fantastic news. Very cool stuff, Tamara.

Congrats. Thank you so much, Tamara. Stephen and Swibsy. Really appreciate your facts, quotes and questions. The next thing we like to do, Dave, is we shout out to some people who support the pod on the shout-out level or above. That makes sense, doesn't it? Yes, that's right. Ten years and I'm finally starting to figure it out. Hey, the patrons are going for nine. Yeah, nine years. Come on. Give me a chance. So I wasn't here for this one where we usually come up with a bit of a game, but maybe you have something and I can read the names out. Yeah, so just to get you out to speed, Jess, I think off air I told you briefly about how outrageous this story. So it was about the eBay stalking scandal where a comically small business was targeted by eBay, a multi-billion dollar business.

And harassment campaign was launched against them. And eventually a lot of people went to jail because it was so full on. I cannot wait to listen to this episode that you've just finished these listeners, but I haven't heard it yet. But I was thinking, I don't want to steal your thunder, usually do a game. Usually it's your job to come up with it, but I was thinking... And I'm incredibly good at it. Yeah, you're fantastic. That's why we rely on you.

I was racking my brain. I was thinking, what if we gave them an object that they've sold or bought on eBay? Yes, love that, because eBay, you can find all sorts of weird shit. All sorts of weird shit. And I found a website. You're never going to believe it. That is a random object generator. Okay.

Honestly, Dave, I've actually never been prouder. And I thought that maybe... Would you like to read them out? The people, name them. Don't shame them. Praise them. I'll praise them. And then I'll give them an object that they've purchased.

For context, the weirdest thing I've bought on eBay was a piece of a suit worn by Roger Moore whilst filming the TV show The Saint in the 1960s. And then it came in like a framed little certificate and I gave it to my dad for a milestone birthday. Okay. And my dad often listens to the show and I'm wondering, Dad, do you still have that? There's no way you still have that. You've moved to us maybe four times since, three times since? It can't be.

Do you still have that? Did mum let you keep that? I'm trying to log in. I'm logging into my eBay right now. It's not something I use a lot, but I definitely know I've bought like Wii, Nintendo Wii games and extra controllers and stuff like that. You've bought a couple of odd things on eBay for our quiz show that we did. Yeah, we're going back through, I actually didn't talk about those, but yeah, the prizes that we gave out for Dugo on the quiz show that you can watch on the Humdinger YouTube channel.

We're always themed to the topic. For example, the episode that I was asking you all about the history of the periodic table, the t-shirt, it was a t-shirt, it was the price. And it said bacon on it, but it was spelled out in periodic tiles. That's just fun. That's just fun. I can't log into eBay, so I guess we'll just say I've never bought anything weird. Oh, good for you. Thank you so much.

Okay, I've actually upgraded to a different object generator through the same website. But this time it's called odd object generator. Perfect. That feels more. Because the last one I generated was deodorant. And that's pretty boring. That's pretty boring. You can just buy that at the supermarket.

Yeah. I want stuff that you can't buy on the supermarket. Yeah. On the supermarket. Jesus Christ. Okay. So, first up, I would love to thank. Hopefully, someone will be seeing in a few weeks in New Zealand from Wellington.

It's Anna Tribe. Anna Tribe, who has bought. A joy buzzer A joy buzzer That's a vibrator Come on A joy buzzer Let me look up with that song

A joy buzzer Yeah the joy buzzer 5,000 mate That'll be Come on Also called a hand buzzer Is a practical joke device Yeah sure

Yeah yeah Yeah that's what it is Got a few Yeah yeah that's what it is It says see also fake vomit Snake in a nut can Okay don't waste these These are good stuff

Oh no that is good actually That's good But, you know, I'd be buying a joy buzzer. Yeah, I bet you would, mate. Merry Christmas me. Anna, enjoy that joy buzzer, my friend. Next up from Phoenix in California. There's a Phoenix in California?

Yeah. I guess so. Cool. Fritz Sullivan. Frit Sullivan has bought a rubber duck. Great. Can't get that at the supermarket. Can't get that.

And every household needs one. Minimum. At least one. Yeah, I have a backup rubber duck. Of course, just in case. Rubber ducky. But I also like to give the rubber duck. four weeks of annual leave.

So that's where the other one comes in. For a bit of Christmas casual summer work. That's exactly right. Next up from, oh, what is this fun place? Cordellane in, I'm guessing, Idaho. It's Katie Beck McKenna. Katie has bought a mood ring. A mood ring.

Did you ever have one of those? Of course. I was a child in the 90s. Yeah, my sister had one and then I liked. I was pretty obsessed with looking at it. Yeah. And then trying to work at what color? What does it mean?

And then if you put it in your mouth, it changes color from the heat, I guess. Yeah, it's just a, it just is a heat sensitive thing, really. But, you know, you'd be like, oh, you're jealous or oh, my God, you're in love. Yeah, yeah. It's like, no, I'm just cold. Loved him. Bring him back, I say. Bring him back.

Next up from Los Angeles. It's Gigi. Gigi has, is selling fake coins. Oh. So fake currency or chocolate coins or. Yeah. Either all. Either all.

We'll accept it all. Yeah. One time when I was a kid, my mum played tennis and we would hang out at the tennis club. And there was another little girl, same age as me. And we were friends. And mom gave us both chocolate coins one time. And she ran straight over to the vending machine to buy herself a treat because she thought it was a real coin. That is so great to be like, well, I could eat this or I could get even more chocolate.

Yeah, yeah. I don't think she didn't know it was chocolate. And mom's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to ruin the machine as well. That's already the treat. Very cute. Next up from Rosebud in Victoria down the beautiful morning. Oh my gosh, it's a beautiful time to be in summer.

Gorgeous place to be in summer. It's Kim. Kim. Kim is buying worm on a string. You got to get a worm on a string this time of year. You've got to get one. Yeah. One for the family.

Again, minimum one in a house. Minimum, that's right. Yeah. Worm on a string. So many uses. Don't even have time to list them all. Yeah. Honestly, we've only got one podcast here.

But that's a really good, really good purchase there, Kim. Hope they have fast delivery for you. Next up from Millicent in South Australia, it's Tyler Doick. I don't know if that's how you say your name, Tyler, but it's a cool name. Tyler Doick. He's selling a bottle of pills. A bottle of pills? And again, no further questions.

Who knows what's in there? It doesn't matter. Are they penis pills? Could be. Are they melatonin, which you can't buy here anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. Can't buy them from I-Hurb, which was the only place that had the good.

10 milligrams shit. I herb. Stuff to really knock you out, man. That's the good stuff. Damn. Can't get it. So, Tyler, no further questions, my friend. Enjoy buying or selling?

That was buying. Buying. Enjoy your pills. Unless this is telling. I can't. And then it was enjoy your pills. Enjoy the money from the pills. Next up from Ashfield in New South Wales.

It's Mark Scarcella. Mark is selling a curly straw. Ooh. Do you have one of those fun straws? Yeah. When I was maybe about nine, one of Christmas we got the milkshake maker. Yes. And my sister and I, it's got a funny straw.

And they're so fun. They're so fun. Until you need to, like, really drink a lot of milk and then you're sucking for hours. Yeah, yeah. Not good for the face muscles. Yeah. But still enjoy it because it's a bit of fun. Bit of fun.

We had them, like, recently. Like there's a photo, I think it's still, it was for a long time. It was the lock screen of my mom's phone. It was me, my brother and my sister-in-law. As fully grown adults, we're only going back, say, five, six years. And every Christmas mum pulls out the good crystal glassware that she wants to use. It's the good stuff. But we were putting, like, pre-mixed shit drinks in it.

We're like, I don't think this deserves the crystal mum. She's like, no, use it. So then we put funny straws in it as well. But the funny straws all had, like, different animals on it. So we're all drinking shitty little, like, They were drinking like Bundy and Coke And I was, I don't know, drinking cider or something out of a crystal glass with a funny straw That's great

A bit of fun Yes, my family's adorable Okay So zany I get it Next up, penultimately, from Chiffley in the ACT It's Louise Bartholomew Louise is selling a can of whipped cream

Yummy Very important this time of year I love that stuff For desserts I love it's going Just straight to the mouth Straight to the mouth. Fill it up.

Oh, my God. Can't get enough. Yeah, you're a disgusting little grot. Yeah, so I am horrific to live with. And finally, for this week, from Address Unknown, so we can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles, Polly Miller. A Polly Miller is buying...

Do you think Polly Miller sounds like something you'd buy at Bunnings? Yeah. Like a poly filler or something? What else Polly Miller in? Yeah. That's probably about a nine, about halfway down on the right, man. Yeah, there you go. Thanks, mate.

How do they know it all? They know it. It's crazy. I recently ran into a podcast listener at Bunnings. Wow. Second time, who works there? And hello to Narajj, if you're listening. Naraj, good-a.

G'day. It's great to run into you again. He saw me and said, oh, run into you again. He goes, happy block. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. That job, being a greeter, an important one. That's very important.

You know, Aidan did that for many years. At Bunnings. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, he worked at Bunnings. in his uni days. So he knew the map of the store. Yeah.

And do you know how insufferably is when we go to Bunnings now? Oh, he remembers it? Well. Or is he like, oh, we didn't do that back in mind? Because for people overseas, it's like a... It's a hardware store. It's a hardware store. There's 52 different aisles.

You might know it from Bluey. From Bluey. It's called Hammer Barn. Ah. Or know it from Zevia Michaelity's FaceWop videos. That's right. But yeah, so no, it's a completely different store, completely different layout, obviously.

That's right, because they're not all the same size. And he worked at one in Sydney, but he's still, I'll go, now, what are we wanting us? Ah, this way. He, like, his voice gets deeper when we get to bunnies. That is excellent. It's pathetic. No, no, no, no.

Well, it should be here. They're wrong. Not me. Yeah. So you want, oh, you want a little hook for it. Well, we'll have to go down to have a look at that then here. But no, we can make that work. I'm like, I know.

Just sort of tapping it. Yeah, yeah. That should hold this thing that's been holding objects. I don't think we need to look at plants. Oh, she's off at the plants. She's off looking at plants. You can't, you can only have one plant. Okay, she's got three plants.

And, have we said the last? Polymiller. Polymiller, that's right. Polymilla, polymilla, that's right. Polymilla, is selling and buying, trading up a pet rock. Oh, that's good. I never had a pet rock, but I did have like a... I had a pet rock.

One of those... You guess the rock's name. Oh, Jess. Tell me I'm wrong. You are wrong? It's arguably worse than that. that. Oh, my God.

It's a rock. Oh, my God. Rocky. Oh, that's really good. It's not, though, Dave. Rocky. I just needed a friend. Oh.

And Rocky. Just, Rocky didn't like me very much. Died young. He killed a pet rock. I didn't have a pet rock. I had one of these little grass heads that comes in like a little stocking. And there's like grass seeds inside and it's got little goggly eyes and then the hair grows out. And then we put blue hair.

dye or blue dye in the seed so when the hair came out the grass it was blue that's fun yeah so that was cool it's not about doing that with your lawn i should do that yeah just got to get a lawn okay first get some lawn and then oh that's sick yes that was very exciting and then i cut the middle out so it had sparky hair like keith flint the punk guy from the prodigy also had multicolored hair kids are so easy to date strange thing every morning oh how's the grass head going and it was called Keith. Of course. Not naturally. All right. Thank you so much to Polly, Louise, Mark, Tyler, Kim, Gigi, Katie, Fritz and Anna. And the final thing we'd like to do, Dave, is welcome some people into the Trip Ditch Club. How do you explain the Trip Ditch Club? This is our Hall of Fame for people

who have been on the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years. We've already thank them. They've already given them an object or something years ago, but now they've never, They've never fallen off to sort of thank them. We welcome them in to this clubhouse, to this theatre of the mind hangout zone. Once you're in, you can never leave. Why would you want to? You have established that you have to be dead to come in. Yep.

But that's okay. It's worth it. We've looked after everything you need. There's food. There's entertainment. There's music. There's a slushy machine. Yep.

And like 7-11 date. I just got a ninja creamy. Oh, what the heck is that? Oh, yeah, that's the thing you told me about. Yeah. You can make your own ice cream. That's so good. Yeah.

And can you make creamies? Yep. Do you just have to up the cream? Yep. And, yeah, once you're in, you can ever live, while would you want to? Because this is the best place on Earth. Yeah, you don't need anything else.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm behind the bar. So this one was about an eBay scandal, right? Oh, yeah, the eBay scandal, yeah. So I have purchased some new cocktail making kits from eBay. Fantastic. And one of them turned up with like a,

I don't know how to describe it other than like a, brick of like a white powder. Oh, okay. So... Great, what's that like a bike up soda or something? Probably, yeah, it's not labelled, but I assume so. So I might just sort of, I'll sprinkle some of that into all the cocktails just to make them a little special.

Okay, let's have a little, I'll have a little sip-y. A little tingly. Feeling good. Oh, ready to dance. Well, that's great, because you often book a band as well. You're never going to leave it. You always do. You never going to believe it, Jess.

What? Riff. I've got a band. reforming for us, especially on this Christmas Eve. Some people might remember them, and you're never going to believe that they've booked on this episode, because I've been booking there for a long time. This is, of course, the Air Base scandal. And I've booked the winners of Series 2 of Pop Stars, scandalous.

Whoa. If you remember. Series 2 of Pop Stars. Yes, which was... Series 1 gave us Bardot. Yeah. Huge. Pop Stars 2, 2001.

Scandalous. Wow. And they won an ARIA chart award for the number one debut single, me, myself, and uh-uh-uh-uh-I. So. Absolutely massive. That's huge. Great to get them back.

They're the whole gang together, who I can definitely name. Yes, of course. We all know Jason Bird. Yes. Danielle Scala. Tomorrow, Jaiba. Simon Deshaam. Annabel Piro.

Is Scandalous spelled like scandalous? It's not, isn't it? It's a scandal like, uh, apostrophe us scandal us I don't even really get it that's fucking terrible yeah that's right

I'm looking at the album cover yep yeah I remember one guy had a like a lot of wool gel in his hair and then the eyebrow ring yeah yeah that's some good stuff thin little goate sort of thing going on

oh yeah it was very 2001 that was unfortunately they broke up in 2002 but they are back now hitting the stage tonight fantastic I can't wait here well um we got quite a few people to induct into the uh the trip ditch club normally matt

is uh the one to sort of lift the velvet rope tick people off the list welcome them in um i'll do it this week and you hype them up i hype you up so it's just going to be this nice little hype train we've got going now that's beautiful obviously hear your name you run on in yep please here we go are you ready dave absolutely clear the mind palace okay and done that's actually suspiciously easy yeah is the mind palace a bit empty. It's always empty. This time of you.

Oh, the mind pals has been empty for a while. Okay. First up from St. Ostell in Great Britain, it's Bailey Sage. Bailey Sage. Bailey Sage hit the stage. Woo! From Encino, California.

It's Eugene Flewellynne Williams the 5th. Encino man! Eugene Jeannie! Do you do, do, do, Eugene, Jeannie. David Bobby there. Pretty good.

That was beautiful. From Levitown in Pennsylvania, I think it's Jessica Story. Who's going to write your Jessica Story? It's Jessica Story. Wow. From Lexington in K.Y. Kentucky? It's Bingus.

Bingus. Ain't no dingus. Ain't no dingus. Next up from Lannan in Great Britain. It's Rianneth Owen. Riannath Owen, you don't owe me shit. Oh. We are square.

We're good, baby. Yeah, we're cool. Put that one. wallet away. Hey, you don't need to pay for anything in there. We're good. And from McDowell in Queensland, it's Courtney Land. Some people are on the Lamb.

Some people are on the Courtney. That sounds like. It doesn't sound great. But we're going to, no, no, that's fine. No, no, no. Okay. I wanted, someone tried, oh, no. A land's a baby sheep, but you're my baby, Courtney.

That's bad too. It's a bit better than fucking people are on the Courtney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Oh, what about like on the basketball, court or something like on the lamb you're on the court yeah i see you on the court knee shooting three shot at first i was thinking trying to think of uh um uh courtney i don't need a fortney fort thee go on in you caught me staring at your beautiful face in an unweed way in a weird way just excited that you hear yeah that's right a lamb of god how about courtney of god okay yeah yeah we've

got it and finally from san francisco so sorry Courtney it's Ian Knight Ian Knight Ian Knight of our lives. That's what this is going to be. Absolutely huge stuff. Thank you. Ian, Courtney, Rianeth, sorry if that's wrong. Bingus, Jessica, Eugene and Bailey. Nobody for the Triple Trip Ditch this week?

No worries. That's okay. We don't hold that against any of you. So I guess that brings us to the end of the show. Thank you again, everyone, for listening to our second last episode of the year. We will have a new episode next week on New Year's Eve. You're listening to it as it comes out. Huge.

um if you're listening on christmas eve hey have a lovely christmas hey have a lovely christmas if you celebrate christmas hope it's a nice one yeah what more can we ask for yeah hope you have some nice food hope you get a fun gift have a bit of a rest yeah get at least a day off yeah that'd be good that'd be nice and then uh yeah and then and then it's just sort of the slow slow kind of decline to the end of the year yeah that sort of time that doesn't really exist it doesn't exist you don't know what day it is. You don't know when you last eight, but you probably constantly eating. And you probably should have a glass of water. And have a nap. Have a nap. Have a nap. Have a nap on us. Great. If people want to get in contact in the new

year, Jess, how do they get in contact with this? Well, they don't have to wait until the new year, but they can. Yeah, I should have said, it's okay. Kitty caught at any time. Anytime. We love you. You can find us on socials. Do you go on pod on Instagram, do on podcast, on TikTok. We're on Facebook as well. Our website is do go on pod.com. Oh, yeah, get tickets to live shows, all sorts of stuff there. All sorts of good shit. And you can find out all the other podcasts that we do as well. But that's about it, Davey Boy, boot this baby home.

He will be back next week, like I said, with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. And until then, goodbye. Bye! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear. six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester.

We were just in Manchester. But this way, you'll never, will never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you, and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you, you come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.