Do Go On - 532 - Dashcon Failure
Episode Date: December 31, 2025In 2014, a group of Tumblr users decided to put on a Tumblr convention. Except they had no idea how to organise a convention ... This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 05...:28 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://fanlore.org/wiki/DashCon#cite_note-21https://dashcon2014b.sched.com/https://edition.cnn.com/2023/06/18/us/tumblr-dashcon-social-media-2010s-cechttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DashConhttps://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/dashconhttps://www.nerdandtie.com/2014/07/14/dashcon-a-perfect-storm-of-incompetence/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAqy-KDJAUMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZgxeX2dCnQ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you.
And we should also say this is 2026.
Jess, what year is it?
2026.
Thank God you're here.
Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun.
We'd love to see you there.
Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.
If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows.
That's going to be so much fun.
Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online.
And I'm here too.
Welcome to another episode of Do Go On.
Adelaide, how you doing out there?
Thank you so much.
My name is David Warnigke and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.
Oh, wow.
We live to Pod and here we are.
Well, don't make me look down. Jesus.
Let's keep talking.
Well, it's very good.
Quick question.
How good is it to be alive?
Okay.
I was clearly asking you, Dave, but he didn't want to.
answer, fair enough. We haven't been here for years.
Yeah. The three of us together.
Yeah. I think the last time we're at the
Wine Museum or something.
Yeah, does that still exist?
Okay. Okay. Great.
Great.
This feels more our speed, to be honest.
Yeah. Upstairs, Rhino,
thank you very much for having us at this fantastic
comedy venue. Now, we always start by asking, give us a round of
applause if you've ever heard the show before.
Fantastic.
Love that. And at the other end of the scale,
we always say, don't be show.
Be loud, be proud, give us an applause
if you've never heard the show before in your life.
That's quite a few, awesome.
Yeah, thank you.
That was too proud.
Thank you.
This is good.
We prefer an empty seat than someone
who hasn't listened before,
so that's ideal.
Remember this businessman here hasn't listened before?
How is the portfolio?
Go well, it's on the up.
We understand business.
We understand.
We see a man wearing a college shirt and no tie.
Honestly, that my brain came up with portfolio.
I was so stoked with that.
What are you saying?
We're in the blue chips.
That's all right.
You are allowed to ignore him.
Sorry, did you say, are you staying in the blue chips?
Isn't that?
That makes sense, doesn't it, to you?
No.
But he knew it didn't make sense.
That's impressive.
Yeah, that is impressive.
That's cool.
I'm sure that meant something.
So for the business people who have never heard the show before,
be here tonight to invest, please.
Stick with us.
We take it in terms to report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners.
We go away, do a bit of research, then bring it back to the group in the form of a report.
Now, Jess, it is your turn to do the report tonight.
And you often not always forget.
That got it.
It's Jess's turn to do the report.
Love that.
Now, you often, not always.
but often forget to write a question.
Where are we at tonight?
I wrote one.
Backstage.
Just now.
And I reckon it'll be fine.
Okay.
My question to get us onto the topic is,
in the mid-2000s,
if you wanted to find memes,
fan fiction and pop culture content,
what social media site would you go to?
4chan, Reddit,
MySpace, the internet.
You are in the right ballpark,
yes.
Anything else, Dave, that you can think of.
For Limewire.
No, LimeWire.
Winn, M.
Kazar.
No. Napster.
Think about...
Meme.
Know your meme?
I reference Know Your Meme later.
Wow, it's a great website.
What a great resource.
Oh, fantastic.
Do you use that much in business?
Yeah.
Okay, if you were to...
If you were going to be making yourself a drink
and you were choosing between a tall glass,
thank you.
Tumblr.
Tumblr.
I was thinking, Collins?
I just like to say what I'm thinking.
Okay, fair enough.
A Tumblr, of course.
Of course.
That makes complete sense.
Correct, yes.
So this is about a convention
that was put on to celebrate Tumblr
called DashCon.
Woo, woo, woo!
Wow, got a few people to know.
Specifically.
It's voted on by the Patreon.
Are you a Patreon if I'm as?
Yeah.
Because as soon as I started talking, you're like, yes!
I've never been on Tumblr.
I know it by name, but I have no idea what it's about.
But I love that they're having catch-ups about it.
Yeah.
Well, to see a couple of things about this topic,
it was like, oh, you'll need to log into Tumblr.
And I was like, oh, I guess I'll make an account.
And it was like, oh, no, you have an account.
And then I got to see my 2014 Tumblr.
And, oh, boy.
Wow, and you were an active poster?
Yeah, I loved Tumblr.
Will you be sharing some of that tonight?
No.
No, it's just a lot of reposting memes.
You know, cool stuff.
Anyway, it's been suggested by a few people.
Laura from the Gold Coast, Lucy from Brisbane,
Meg from Sydney,
Chenade from Dublin,
Tom WB Hill from the UK,
and Tyson from Colac.
And as I said, voted on by the patrons with...
It had about 50% of the vote.
It was an absolute landslide.
In a two horse race.
In a two horse race.
Yeah, to make it...
So then I just picked...
Yeah, captain's call.
Yeah, I just went,
oh, I'm just going to do whatever I want.
Okay, so I'll give you a bit of background here.
A.J. Willingham writes for CNN.
Though the blogging platform is still active,
Tumblr's unquestionable heyday passed in the mid-20s.
It was and still is hailed as the crucible of nerddom,
where young people gather to trade memes, pop culture observations, poems, musings,
fan fiction, art and absurdist jokes to satisfy even the most niche communities.
Years of Tumblr discourse have helped shape current structures of entertainment fandoms,
social justice language, queer subcultures,
and all manner of special interests one might see at a comic book convention or Marvel movie premiere.
So in its heyday, it was huge, very influential.
I didn't know it still existed until I logged in.
and went, ha, that is a pretty funny meme from George of the Jungle.
And I stand by it.
So in 2014, some Tumblr users thought it would be a good idea
to try and take that sense of community and creativity
and recreate it in real life.
Now, we've heard stories on this podcast before
about how things go when unexperienced people
try to put on big sort of festival-type things.
Like on a Caribbean island or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same vibe.
Yeah, okay, okay.
From Willingham again.
The result was DashCon,
an attempt to bring together Tumblr users
from different interests and fandoms for a single event.
The idea was similar to the already popular VidCon,
which focuses on YouTube celebrities,
or any number of fan conventions around the world
that have been going strong for decades.
So these, like, conventions exist.
They're like, let's just do another one.
How hard could it be?
How hard could it be?
Right off the back.
That, like, I think they've sort of tripped up.
The name is weird.
Is it about...
Yeah, I'll get to that.
Yeah.
Should it be like Tumcon or something?
They're like, dash or like the front of a car inside of it.
I don't understand it.
Or is it about just like a horizontal short line?
It's both.
And neither.
Yeah.
I thought so.
It's exciting.
I will explain that.
Wait, is it?
I'll literally explain that, I think, in the next couple of sentences.
Well, I'll only let you get there.
That's him.
He never lets me get there.
Hey!
But when you do, it's going to be so good.
Edging on a podcast.
Ten years.
Oh God.
So DashCon was originally announced in mid-2013 under the name TumbleCon USA.
Okay.
And it was touted as the largest gathering of Tumblr users to date.
The convention...
The previous record was three.
We're going to go for ten.
The convention aimed to have stalls and panels for various fandoms that were popular on Tumblr,
like Star Trek, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, T-Wrower.
Wolf, the list goes on.
Why did Teen Wolf get a laugh?
Why did Teen Wolf get a mention?
You'll understand why later.
Because of my love of one of the stars of Teen Wolf.
Michael J. Foxx.
Michael J. Fox.
According to the CNN article, the original idea can be traced back to a teenage girl
named Lachlan O'Neill, who was 17 at the time.
She'd been using Tumblr for a couple of years and it started to get into
cosplay, anime and the Avengers, all extremely
popular subjects among Tumblr users.
She was also
really into small animal husbandry.
I know we know that
it doesn't mean it, but you're still
picturing little animals
in a tuxedo.
100%. Animal husbandry to me
is like a wedding planner for animals.
I think, yeah. I imagine it with a headset.
She's like,
and go for the bride. That's what I'm
picturing.
I imagine like, you know, matchmaking,
like this cat and this dog.
And you have to get married.
You have to.
Oh, okay.
We're all pictured different things.
That's what I imagine.
To me, a husband is a guy in a tuxedo.
Yeah.
This is my husband.
You're like, he's going to be wearing a tuxedo.
I think maybe I've only ever seen a husband out of wedding.
Do they keep wearing him after that?
Are they still a husband half of the day?
What do you think I'm wearing underneath this?
What about brides?
What a bet? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, who gives a shit?
Who gives a shit?
That's Mr. the pod.
The brides get much attention.
I don't think they've got enough, mate.
What about husbands?
About time someone spoke up for husbands.
Dave, I've got your back, mate.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Anyway, so she's really into animal husbandry.
And she said, I started on Tumblr writing traditional blogs about mouse genetics.
My blog was called Mice are nice.
You can do anything on Tumblr.
And is this going to get it to install at the convention?
Maybe.
No, I just thought that was pretty funny to mention.
Is Tumblr the one with just lots of pictures,
like a theme boards or whatever?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I've definitely heard of it.
Yeah, that's great.
But is this the kind of thing like everyone did it but me?
And me?
Okay.
Give us a cheer, actually, if you were on Tumblr.
the back in the day.
Okay.
Give us a cheer if you'd never heard of Tumblr.
Okay.
So you're not the only one.
Chee now if you like animal husbandry?
Okay.
Mice are nice.
I saw you.
Nice.
This is very sweet.
She said over time,
she even met one of her best friends on the platform
after searching content about her hometown.
She said, I was always kind of an outsider.
I didn't really have the ability to connect with people
and I didn't know why.
Well, you're obsessed with mice.
You're the weirdo of your town.
Everyone's talking about you behind your back.
I've no idea.
No idea.
Why would it be anyway?
What to look at my boss?
That's how she meets people.
Have a look at my mice.
I think you...
But the town was big enough for a second mouse weirdo.
Beautiful.
So this is a lovely story.
Well, she met her best friend and then she was like,
well, there must be more people like me on Tumblr.
There must be more people like her on Tumblr.
oh my god she noticed this pattern lots of people forming strong bonds with virtual strangers online
over things that really mattered to them things they didn't have a network for in their everyday lives
and she saw these posts and she thought what if there was a tumbler convention what if i made it
and then all of you could also have friends oh it's very sweet that's beautiful quite sweet
it's very sweet and you would just absolutely ripping her a new one yeah i don't i mean i don't know
if she's thought it through because it's like everyone's got different
sub-genres and hobbies and such
she's going to bring the mouse people together
with like the dog people,
are they all animals?
No.
Well, I mean then, even more crazy,
there'll be like the tractor people
and the, some people who are like, you know, dusting.
It's going to be,
they're not all going to get along.
Yeah, that's chaos.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks for bringing up my hobby, dusting.
Well, we were talking about brides.
so I think as a feminist I can make
I think I can make
I don't think in your hands
I think a joke like that wouldn't come off
but I think in a feminist hands
the irony there is clear that joke
that joke is coming off
okay so she started a
Tumblr blog called TumbleCon
and it was sort of
it was like the launch pad for what would eventually become DashCon
named because
of their tumblers, like when you log on to Tumbly,
the main page was called the dashboard.
So they called it dashcon,
because it wasn't actually officially affiliated with Tumblr,
so they couldn't call it Tumblr.
So they changed the name.
Does that explain dashcon to you now?
It is crazy that your mind went to dashboard
and you weren't wrong.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Exactly.
You were so close.
Yeah, but we won't get there.
I'll stop you right there.
Enthusiasm for a Tumblr convention quickly grew,
and it wasn't long before people were offering to be on committees for different fandoms.
So they're like, oh, we'll put together something for this thing that we love.
It's great.
O'Neill, who, let's remember, was 17 years old,
later said it's important to note that before this,
I'd only been to two conventions.
One was a small anime convention.
The other was a rabbit breeders convention in Indiana.
Different kind of vibes.
but the intention is there
how hard can it be
I don't think I realise she was 17
I'm sorry I was a bit mean to her before
does it
do you feel okay about being mean to her
because she's a woman
does that make it better
no I don't feel good about it in either way
okay just want to check
I think only you know adult men
are strong enough to
take that kind of criticism
and I think science will back me up
says the most
sensitive of all of us.
Shut up.
So she goes on to say, that's what I was imagining
when I was imagining this event. Lots of booths
for different interests, fun activities, all
of that. I was a teenager.
Maybe I was stupid, but when people said
they were going to help out or attend, I trusted
them.
Don't pity her, it's all right.
It's fine. She's not 17
anymore.
You know?
When did this happen?
2014.
Oh, fuck her.
Yeah, get another one.
So a YouTuber called Strange Eons has done a two-hour video on DashCon
and interviews around 50 people who attended the convention.
They talk about how all of the different committees
were basically in charge of coming up with their own programming
for their fandom.
So it was just, you were left to your own devices.
One person they spoke to was part of the Avatar,
the last Airbender Committee.
And this is what they said in an email.
They said, let me be clear.
During this point where we were in charge of planning panels,
we had zero idea of what a convention panel was
slash we had never been to a convention.
We were trying to put on a whole stage play
of The Boy in the Iceberg,
which is the first episode of the first season.
No scripts were written, costumes made, or people cast.
Okay.
It's got a pretty sick live score.
Yeah.
Would you need to have seen something before
to know that those were really?
required.
Like, they're like, oh, I wouldn't have even known.
We'd never seen a panel.
Yeah.
So we just, we don't.
Well, they were just, they're like, well, easy.
We'll just put on a live performance of an episode.
Yes.
I guess you must need costumes for that, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But no people.
No, they haven't cast anyone, but, you know, it'll, it'll just happen.
That'll sort itself out.
It'll sort itself out.
On the day.
Oh, sorry, I didn't thought about that.
Yeah, yeah, you just got to think on the day.
And did it sort itself out on the day?
Okay.
So for a while it seemed like it was basically a bunch of excited teenagers
kind of think tanking about how cool it would be to do a convention
but maybe not actually like getting stuff done.
So lots of ideas being...
Heaps of ideas.
And as this idea gained traction,
the planning and admin kind of got taken over by others.
And while O'Neill was moving into state with her family
and just didn't have the internet for a bit,
she wasn't as active.
The whole convention ballooned into something massive.
a limited liability partnership called DashCon LLP
had been set up
owned by two women, Megan, Eli and Roxanne
Schweitzman. And based on what I've read,
neither of them had any experience or relevant qualifications either.
But they were like, sweet, we'll just make an LLP
and we'll get this ball rolling.
So regardless, a date was set and a location found.
The first ever dashcon was taking place July 11 to 13,
2014 at the Renaissance
Schaumburg Convention Centre Hotel in Illinois
I've got convention in the title that's pretty good
convention centre and hotel yeah like
that seems like the right place to have a convention
and very optimistic to call it the first ever dashcon
yes yeah the first of many
yeah I've got a good feeling about this
so they the convention announced an initial
$5,000 fundraising goal in March of 2013 so the year before
They're like, we need to raise some money to make this thing happen.
So they want to raise five grand, and they have plans to apply for a bunch of grants.
So posting on the conventions Tumblr page, they wrote,
hosting a convention is not something any of us saw in ourselves.
For a while, TumbleCon was just a half-shaped idea.
I caught a whiff of every once in a while when a stray post or two drifted onto my dash.
Are you following any of these words?
Breathing new life into this idea has been something all of our staff members have been working.
tirelessly for over the last month or so.
We hardly remember our lives before TumbleCon.
This has been my lifelong dream for the last 30 days.
We have been working tirelessly.
Part-time hours, probably not even, for a month now.
Working tirelessly whenever we got a whiff.
Yeah, just when there was a whiff across the dash.
Unfortunately...
The idea stank, obviously.
Catching a whiff.
Yeah.
They go on.
Unfortunately, there's only so much passion
you can put into starting a business.
Okay.
Before the real work comes crashing down on your shoulders.
Mainly, we have to deal with the government and money.
Oh, God, red tape, am I right?
They say, we can take care of the legal aspect.
However, money is not something
a group of 20-somethings really have in abundance.
But they have the legal aspect.
They got that covered.
you worry you pretty little mind about it.
Sorry, yeah, great, right, right.
We just need your cash.
This is where you, our followers, can help.
If we have just a hundred of our nearly 4,000 followers donate a mere $10,
we would have enough money to get us on our feet, pay for some software we need,
file additional forms, and pay fees for applying for more grants.
On top of a few for which we've already applied.
So they just need just give us money, give us your money.
Please, we'll do all the rest.
We'll handle the legal in the red tape and the yaddy, yada, yada.
You don't worry about that.
Just give us the cash.
There are so many different committees who plan to host events at the convention,
and they had to raise the necessary funds to do so.
So they would do that through selling commissions and fan art and fanfic,
all sorts of things.
For example, the Star Trek committee planned to split their funds 60-40,
60% of the amount raised going to the convention,
and the remaining 40 to help members of the committee to attend the convention.
So they're trying to like, there's fundraising happening everywhere, not just for the actual convention, but for all the committees as well.
Special guests were advertised, including Doug Jones, who's known for portraying non-human characters.
He's in Pans, Labyrinth and Hellboy in the Shape of Water.
A web comic artist called N.D. Stevenson and the cast of Welcome to Night Vale, which was a hugely popular, absurdist, supernatural fiction podcast, and it was a massive selling point for a lot of attendees.
Lots of people wanted to come and see this live show.
they did occasionally do live shows and they always sold out really quick so people were like we've got to go to the con to see this podcast and this guy who plays a non-human character yeah the guy who's in the
Dougie Dougie Dougie oh catch up with Doug I'd go for Doug yeah yeah but you'd go for Doug anyway just I'm just trying to say that welcome to Nightvale was a big selling point yeah great they were huge they were huge
Big selling point.
Numerous panels were planned for the duration of the convention
and the process for being selected as a panelist was surprisingly complex.
Panelists were vetted to determine their qualifications in several different areas,
including but not limited to subject knowledge, leadership abilities and public speaking skills.
They also needed to be willing and able to submit a Skype video interview before being selected.
Panelists who managed to attract more than 50 attendees across two panels,
were promised that their membership for the day would be comped.
Panelists who exceeded a headcount of more than 100
would receive their membership for that day for free.
So it was also, bring some friends.
Be on a panel, be able to speak, bring some friends.
I just want to say that that is not normal.
So I got that...
Okay, because I haven't been to any conventions.
I know, I know.
I've never been to a convention.
So on fanlaw.org,
for clarity they added
this policy was a departure
from most fan run conventions
where fans participated in programming
without regards to compensation
nor is the quality of fan panelists
typically measured by number of panel attendees
so that's not typically how it's done
you can do a panel if you can bring lots of people
is not typically
how convention might run but
who says we can't change the game
yeah that's right got to start somewhere
you know it's exciting
and it's fun and everything's going really well.
How would they normally would do panels
to not attract an audience?
Yeah.
Like it sounds like, to me it sounds kind of smart
to encourage audiences to come.
Huh.
But you think that's one of the big mistakes
they've made so far?
No.
Okay.
No, I don't think that's one of the big mistakes.
Matt, I'm thinking that's not even the top ten so far.
Yeah, and we haven't even got to it.
No, no, no, it's just that it's a, it was a way more strenuous process than ever normally, yeah.
I mean, one of the things you mentioned was that they had to be able to do a Skype.
Yep.
Pretty strenuous.
Do you remember Skype?
Yeah, that was an impossible.
That made no sense.
That made no sense.
So the month before the convention in June, a post was made asking for applications for volunteers of the convention with really fun
perks like if you worked from one to 11 hours you would receive undying gratitude that's pretty good
yeah well that's forever yeah never-ending gratitude i'll take that undying that sounds fantastic that's
beautiful if you wanted to add just an extra hour and go from 12 to 19 hours you'd receive a refund
of your badge cost and if you want to do 20 plus hours you would receive a refund of your badge cost
and your hotel room will be comped for friday and
Saturday nights.
Whoa, so you now don't have to pay to work.
Yeah.
So if you work 20 hours, you get to break even at work.
How good is that?
That's really good.
Yeah.
Do you also get the undying gratitude?
Or do you have to pick the hotel over that?
Because I'd pick the gratitude because that is forever, like you said.
That's a great point.
Yeah, I don't think it's like, oh, it's this package plus whatever's in the lower
ones.
I think you have to choose.
Yeah.
So you're going undying gratitude?
Yeah, unless the buffet breakfast is included.
It doesn't say.
No.
Undying gratitude for me.
Thank you.
He loves a buffet breakfast.
Oh my gosh.
He loves to pay too much for shit food.
Yeah, it's usually about $40 a head and I'm like, okay, how much do I have to eat to make this worth it?
The answer, $41.
I've just worked that out.
And I can't eat that much.
Are you doing that though?
You're going, all right, omelette, this is worth $12.
Yeah, I'm like, blue cheese.
Blue cheese, that's expensive.
That's expensive.
Like, I get food that I don't even.
one I put on my plate, I throw it on the floor,
$5 of ham
out the window.
I get my money's worth.
Okay. Yeah, I break a toaster.
You don't drink coffee, but you've got a tray of coffee.
Yeah, a tray full of coffee.
Plus, you getting your value, it's more
just costing there. You make sure they're...
It's about punishing a local business.
You're a bad person.
Yeah.
I found some of the original Tumblr posts from the
dashcon account
this is when I logged in
and went huh
someone asked
what the dress code
was for dashcon
there's so many
answers
yeah but this
one's so confusing
they replied
the dress code
is only this
only this
no t-shirts
no shorts
no sneakers
and no jeans
everything else is up to you
so fully nude
nude is fine
they'd prefer nude
than a t-shirt
at a
Con.
Whatever, like some...
I know.
Like, this is all sorts of fandums,
probably including T-shirt fandoms.
No T-shirts.
The Levi-Strauss group's going to be shattered by this dress code.
We'd be fucked.
No T-shirts, no shorts, no sneakers, no jeans.
Oh, no.
I'd be left wearing this jacket and that is it.
We'd be Winnie the Pooing of the show.
But Matt would just be in a jumper and hat.
Yeah.
More of a Donald duck.
Yeah.
And I'm fucked.
Yeah, it's not good.
I was so confused.
What the fuck can you wear?
I was so confused.
Our mate here would be okay.
Go all business.
He'd be in the blue chips.
Oh, come on.
There's no cons in business, am I right?
Yeah.
Can I ask what you do?
Ask the hackiest question of all comedy?
I'm a police officer.
A police officer.
And you do, you look fantastic.
Yeah, you look fantastic.
Very, very well turned out.
I'm pretty glad I haven't done my ACAP catchphrase tonight.
You are doing a great job of going undercover tonight.
It does make some sense.
If he was on a tram at home, you'd know he's about to check the ticket.
Yeah, big time.
I did get a vibe that he was kind of sick of our shit.
And it's like, yeah, that tracks.
It's like any other situation, you're on the fucking floor right now.
If you're not a cop, that was the funniest possible answer.
100%.
And we will not be speaking to you again?
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming, and I'm going to look in this section.
I'll look from here onwards, the rest of the night.
Okay, so from what I read online, a ticket for the whole weekend was about $65,75.
Okay.
Not bad.
It's like a whole convention.
Yeah.
I think that's pretty reasonable.
I think it was certainly at the time expensive for a convention,
particularly because this was a new one.
But looking at it at 2025 prices, I'm like, well, that's pretty good.
You know?
Yeah, that's...
I mean, okay, for example, Matt and I paid $75 last weekend
because our carry-on bags on Jet Star were one kilo over.
So, you know.
And they weren't carrying anything suspicious.
I need you know that.
Otherwise that $75 would have been really worth it
But it wasn't
That kilo brick of whatever it was
So you know
In terms of value
You could have a whole weekend for that
And we got one pretty shit flight
Anyway
There was also a limited number of daily tickets available
They limited it to 500 a day
And they range between like
$20 to $45
So attendees start arriving
On Thursday the 10th of July
the night before, and some attendees and vendors said,
in hindsight, they should have been sussed from the very beginning
because the convention centre hotel was too nice.
Several people were like, this is too fancy for a new convention.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Like it's, you know, this has been made by a bunch of teens and 20s fans
just making something else.
This is a bit too nice.
In hindsight, it was, yeah, very swanky hotel.
but with an estimated 3.5 to 7,000 people expected to come,
it just made sense to host a convention at a space
that is frequently used for big events like that.
You know, you're getting that many people in.
You need a convention centre, okay?
Yeah, but weren't they capping tickets at 500?
Yeah, that was for like daily tickets.
Okay.
But then most people would have pre-purchased tickets also.
Oh, okay.
Dave, you're correct to be confused.
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
But they're expecting thousands of people, okay.
Yes.
Okay, great.
Probably 5 to 7,000 is what they reckon.
So people have come from far and wide to Illinois.
This weekend's going to be amazing.
So day one rolls around, and attendance is estimated around 3 to 500.
Thousand.
Yes.
Three to 500.
Okay.
So they were right.
500 being like at its peak.
So they were right when they said.
somewhere between five and seven thousand, five individuals.
That's pretty good, really.
That's spot on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely right.
The numbers don't lie.
When they first arrived, attendees were directed to a large room for registration
to pick up their convention badges.
It was a massive, empty room with like polished concrete floors, like huge,
like probably triple the size of this room.
Hard to imagine a room that.
I know.
For listeners at home, this room is huge.
Yeah, there are between 5,000 and 7,000 people here tonight.
That is true.
So naturally they set the registration table up at the very far end.
So people are turning up having to walk through this empty room
to this little trestle table at the back.
They set up the things that have to walk around and around.
Do you? Do you?
Okay, it's, okay.
There's two situations where I feel like the dumbest fuck in the world.
One is when there's no one else in front of you and you have to snake your way around.
And the other is when a hat blows off in the wind.
And you sort of have to chase it.
Don't you chase it.
Imagine both happen on the same.
Oh, man.
That's a bad day.
No, I think it almost maybe would have made the room feel a bit fuller if it had the ropes.
But just empty and the table all the way over there.
So again, they're like, in hindsight,
maybe it wasn't going to be as smooth as we'd hoped.
So they get their IDs.
Panels and events that took place on day one,
I found the schedule for it,
and this is just a few that I found that I thought you might be interested in,
a day in the life at Hogwarts.
What's the deal with Beacon Hills?
I looked into that.
It's a group discussion of the writing, cinematography,
and general amazingness of Teen Wolf.
Ask an Avenger, which is good.
You can ask the Avengers questions at that one.
Right, who answers?
The Avengers.
Oh, that's good.
They got the Avengers.
They actually got an Avenger there?
Nope.
And then in the evening, you could go to an improv game called
Whose Line Is It Tumblr?
That is subtle but good writing.
Whose line is it Tumblr?
Whose line is it Tumblr?
just works.
That just works.
Wordplay,
normally you need a couple of different angles
to work at the same time
and they've done that.
Yeah.
That's,
I mean...
Who's line is it?
Tumblr.
I'm such a hack.
I would have gone for
whose Tumblr is it anyway,
but that's obviously
several times worse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're dumb.
Whose line is it Tumblr?
Whose line is it Tumblr?
Things took a bit of a turn when...
That's really funny.
Who's lying is it Tumblr?
Whose line is it Tumblr?
That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
So good.
Tonight was worth it after all.
Yeah.
Thank God.
So things took a bit of a turn when by late into the opening day of the con,
the organisers announced that the hotel was threatening to shut down the convention
unless they could pay $17,000 by 10pm.
They're being a hell of ransom.
Oh yeah, we will execute this convention unless you pay in unmarked bills.
Give me back my con.
That's something.
I didn't even realize how good is.
I've only changed the S to a C there.
Yeah.
Doesn't work that well out loud.
Yes, but written down.
Which unfortunately a podcast is, mate.
Yeah.
But when you're reading the transcript of this episode,
that's going to really hit.
Honestly, it's almost as good as whose line is it toffler.
Which obviously, that works written down and said out loud.
I felt quite inspired by that, so.
So they have to pay $17,000.
$17,000.
And they were, like, struggling to raise five.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is the venues hold.
The hotel, yeah.
The convention center slash hotel is like this thing is shut down unless you pay $17,000.
And it feels like at this point, they should be like, yeah, shut it down.
No worries.
If we can just sort of a seat.
What do you mean?
They have great shows.
Like, there's two more days of whose lines at Tumblr.
Oh, really? Oh, okay.
Now, we're all three to 500 people hanging around for all the panels?
No.
Oh.
Because I'm like, that could be a pretty nice time at a panel.
When they say 500, that was like at its absolute peak across the day.
But there was also 500 different fandoms.
Yes.
So there's one Star Trek guy.
There's a Pokemon fan.
Yeah.
In a quickly deleted Tumblr post, DashCon staff wrote,
The upper management of this hotel is threatening to shut down DashCon.
unless we give them $17,000 by 10pm.
Please go to dashcon.org and click the donate button
and give anything you can.
Unless we get this by tonight, everything is cancelled.
We suspect it's due to the fact that upper management
doesn't like the people at the con.
Yeah, that's right.
This is discrimination.
Oh, yeah, if we don't have the money to pay for the thing.
Yeah.
I bet.
Can you believe that?
I cannot believe it.
I've just had an idea
if our police businessman
was going to run a panel
It could be called...
Be called Boys and Blue Chip.
He's back, he's back on board.
Thank you.
That's smattering.
What about who's blue chip is it?
Oh!
Oh, whose line is a blue chip?
There is.
There it is.
Whoa.
There it is.
Tonight's going to rule, yes?
Well, before you continue,
I have to have an announcement to make.
We've just been told by the management here.
The show will be cancelled unless we have $17,000 in cash,
put on the stage in the next three minutes.
Please give everything you can.
You know what?
That's a lot of pressure.
Hello.
Jess's mic has actually been cut.
Honestly, we were not kidding.
We were not kidding.
What happened?
Did someone throw a coin?
Is your mic back, Jess?
Yes, I'm back.
Okay.
Yeah, someone just made a big donation to the bar.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
We can keep going.
That is so funny that they've gone.
We think it's because they don't like the type of people we've attracted.
Yeah.
Do you think that's why?
Or do you think there could be another reason?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
You're not going to tell us, like,
you've been hiding the fact that they are like a minority group or something.
Oh, just to make you guys look really bad?
Yeah.
Yeah.
In the hand of it, oh, I should have said they're all Protestant.
You know Illinois is a Catholic town?
This is one of my favourite parts.
Oh, I mean, nothing's beating.
Whose line is it Tumblr?
It's it Tumblr!
So a writer called Garvia Baker Whiteclaw wrote fordaily.com.
That's fun to say.
Daily dot.com.
Footage of the fundraiser announcement shows convention organizers soliciting donations from a crowded ballroom of tumbler users,
many of whom hand over cash and then break into song while performing the three-finger salute from the Hunger Games.
It actually does get even better.
You heard three-finger salute and you had something to say in the year.
I remember when Katna's 17 did two in the big one in the fifth.
Yeah.
Is that it?
Oh, there's multiple combinations.
Well, it all depends on, you know.
It's really dealers choice.
Length of Gooch?
I've become, I don't know if,
I'm starting to make our live episodes unreleased.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me know if you, you've never mentioned it,
but if you want me to rein it in, I can.
That's not true.
We've mentioned it.
In front of the crowd.
Yeah, yeah.
We're quite obvious when we want you to shut the phone.
fuck up. Today's not that day my friend. I've, so okay imagine imagine a room of 300 plus
people all doing this. I've seen some of the footage and they start singing. Firstly they go
for queens we are the champions. And then are there any musical theatre nerds in? And then
they go for Les Mise. Do you hear the people sing? They get it. Oh, it's not, it's not
That's like a real protest song or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's for the downtrodden.
Yeah, it's for the hard done by.
In the musical, it's like about prisoners of war or something, right?
Sure.
I don't know.
I've only seen Annie, you know this.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
Oh my God.
They're like handing over cash.
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men.
Shut up you.
nerds.
Organizers later posted an explanation for the situation
stating that they had an earlier agreement with the hotel
that they were going to pay in installments
over the course of the weekend.
Great.
The contract doesn't say that, but they,
in the conversation, the hotel said, sure, I guess.
The handshake deal seemed to imply
that that was what they were after.
We assumed, as pretty experienced business people.
Is this still the mouth?
woman?
No, she's around.
She's involved still a bit.
Essentially they're like, well, we don't necessarily have the cash up front, but with
those door sales, we'll have it, we'll just like give it to you in chunks.
Yeah, we're good for it.
Which obviously they have not done straight away.
So the hotel's like, okay, so we need payment.
Yeah.
Which is crazy.
And there's some manager who has okay at all this who's in a lot of shit right now.
Probably, yeah.
But it doesn't, it's pretty bold given.
that most ticket holders should have been pre-purchased.
So I think they're assuming that all 500-day tickets are going to be purchased,
which at its maximum is going to bring 15 grand,
which is still not enough.
So it's not good planning, but do you hear the people sing?
And they're refunding most of the people like a lot of...
Oh yeah, they said like donate.
It's just to like cover us for this one-off payment and then we'll refund you.
How do you refund everyone in cash?
Yeah, you don't.
So, attendees at the con and people following on Tumba were asked to donate.
Many people made donations via PayPal.
We have that available tonight as well, if you want.
Thank you.
And someone walked around with a paper bag collecting cash.
And they did promise to refund everyone who'd loaned them the $17,000,
including those who donated in cash,
but there was no written proof of anything.
And there's no evidence to say that anybody got their refunds.
I think that it later was in some small print that if you'd donate it on PayPal, you'd get it back.
But I don't know that that happened.
So that's fine.
A secondhand report from one of the attendees who talked to the staff says that the hotel requested the payment when the organizer could not fulfill the room block they'd agreed with the hotel management.
So they'd also said, like, we're having like 7,000 people come, put aside some rooms for us.
7,000 of your finest rooms, please.
And then like three people have booked.
Yeah, it was about 15% of what they were pretty confident they were going to get.
So the hotel were like, hey, you owe us some cash.
And I hate to side with hotels, but that's not unreasonable.
Hate to side with hotels.
Those dogs.
Everyone has evil hotels.
Those absolute dogs.
So the podcast I mentioned before, welcome to Night Vale.
They were obviously invited to the convention.
they were a big selling point for a lot of people attending.
They arrived, but they pulled out when organisers were unable to pay for their flights, hotel or performance fee.
They arrived.
Yeah, they got there.
And then their rooms were not paid for.
The performance fee was not possible.
Oh, man, I hope this goes the way that we would do it.
No one knows what they look like.
We're welcome to Nightvale all of a sudden.
I've never heard, to be honest, I've never heard it before
but I assume it's something like,
Welcome to Dive Bay.
Yes, I am the host of the show.
And I reckon we could play our way through it.
Should we do it now?
Have you ever heard it?
Yeah, ages ago, about that long ago.
Well, you could host then.
Okay.
But you were doing a great job though.
Was that basically it?
Basically it.
Oh, we've got to check what's happening in the local town.
tonight.
It's not vaguely on track there.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm off to do my shopping.
I've got a list.
Better not forget the milk.
Something like that?
Yeah.
Oh, it's spooky milk.
Is it stuff like that?
Spooky milk, that's about right.
It's like dull but spooky.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
That feels right.
Yeah, feels right.
Feels right to us, yeah.
Any welcome to Nightvelle.
fans in
Oh
big fans
I think that might have been a mouse husband
Yeah
I do
A ghost mouse husband
I do
Anyway
Jesus Christ
So they've said
We're not going on
Because you haven't given us
anything to be here
Yeah this is bullshit
And the organisers
responded on their official Tumblr
That they did have money
to pay the cast
but had technical difficulties
that prevented it from happening.
So they're being very unreasonable.
Yeah.
Of course we do.
There's just technical difficulties.
Yeah.
Like with the payment?
Technical difficulties, David.
A staff member posted on their personal tumbler
that the cast of Welcome to Night Vale lied
and that they actually were paid
but chose to leave anyway.
That's such a great way to do it.
That's awesome.
We should have done that.
This is fun, but if we could have just not
Been here.
How good without it?
That would have been great.
Yeah.
What would we be doing right now?
Four.
So many things.
So, yeah.
So many fun and interesting things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Hard to list them all.
Yeah, wow.
Oh, for Saturday night.
Me?
Yeah, you're wild.
Oh, just partying.
I'll say there's nothing illegal.
Never.
Never.
Should be illegal the way we do it, man.
Because we do it so badly?
Yeah.
It's an obstruction of justice.
Anyway, so apparently the cast just went and got themselves an Airbnb,
and other guests of the convention also left and went and crashed with them,
including the artist I mentioned before, N.D. Stevenson,
who I read had to moderate his own panel because the schedule moderator just didn't turn up.
So it's a panel interviewing you
and you have to do it yourself.
I'll take this one.
Great question, yes.
Oh, that's a good one.
I hadn't thought about that before.
Awful.
Organizers offered various prizes to attendees
who'd paid for tickets for the panel.
They probably wanted a refund,
but they're like, no, no, we'll give you a prize,
including, and this brings us to a very important part of the story,
one of the prizes was an extra hour with the ball pit.
with the ball pit is awesome
you can do whatever you want with it
we'll turn around
yeah
and that's an hour
yeah I don't know if you'd been picturing a ball pit
but there was one
okay
extra hour with the ball pit
oh I want to be very clear
the ballpret was free
an hour is a long time
to spend in a ball pit
but an extra hour that's you time
now are you picture
in quite a large ball pit.
Like, way bigger than this room.
Like huge.
Like Olympic-sized swimming pools, what I'm imagining.
Am I off?
Is it even bigger?
It's even bigger.
It's like a kitty pool.
It's a kiddie pool that they put some balls out.
An Olympic-sized kitty pool?
I think you could fit about six people.
Well, that's why you need an extra hour.
You have to wait your turn.
Exactly right.
It was also in another giant empty room.
That's art
I welcome you to pull your phones out
and Google dashcon kitty pool
because it's the grimest thing ever
and it's so funny
If you do Google it, show it around to people around you
I meant to have it up to show you guys
But it's very funny stuff
So yeah, you could win
If you didn't get to go to the show you paid money for
You could get in the ball pit
Yeah, but not complaining you win the chance
To get in the ball pit
Which you could do anyway.
You could absolutely have done at any time.
Because I'm imagining it's not a huge cue.
No, no line.
No line whatsoever.
Nobody wants to get in the ball pit.
There are rumours that someone pissed in the ball pit.
Oh yeah.
That's as you'd expect.
It's hard to describe how shit it is, though.
Pass your phone back.
So you'll get it back.
We promise you'll get it back.
It's really grim.
I'm loving seeing phones showed around.
See, this is community.
Honestly, if you haven't said it,
we could probably fit four of those on this stage.
That's how, yeah.
If it could hold six people, we're comfy in there, you know?
It's not even blown up.
No, it was blown up at the start of the day.
Yeah.
It deflated a little.
But for me, a winner's a win.
I'm using my full hour in that ball pit.
No, no, not in it.
With it, with it.
People come home and like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You just get to stand next to sort of padding it.
Ooh, easy girl, easy.
Ooh.
Easy girl.
So as you can imagine, the ball pit became an instant meme.
It took over the internet.
Within a couple of days, a video game developer had created DashCon Simulator 2014.
That's very good.
It was just a simulation of a big empty room with a ball pit in it.
I love the internet.
Oh, man.
So the convention wasn't exactly what the organisers or the attendees had hoped for.
Response to the convention was mainly critical,
with some speculating that it was a scam,
while others thought it wasn't malicious.
It was just the result of poor management or incompetence.
They were being ambitious, but maybe not quite pulling it off.
The organises' lack of experience has been criticised,
as it has led to questionable decisions
such as setting a comparatively high ticket price
for a fan-run convention
announcing a partnership with actor Misha Collins's
not-profit organisation random acts
despite that not being true.
They had not partnered with them.
Only releasing 500 daily tickets
which would have made it almost impossible
to achieve their projected
five to seven thousand dollar aim
attendant, sorry, not dollar.
So they were selling out basically
just they had captains
it way too low?
No, because a lot of the people that attended
had bought tickets ahead of time.
Then they were at 500 at the door.
Which they weren't selling anyway.
They weren't selling anyway.
But if they were hoping to have 7,000 people in attendance,
why are you capping the daily at 500?
You know, just the math ain't mathen.
And that's coming from me.
Okay.
You didn't have to laugh that.
I know what I'm about.
Anyway, a former committee member
had posted their personal experience
of the preparations
that went into the convention
claiming poor communication,
lack of transparency,
unrealistic goals such as trying to get
Dylan O'Brien from Teen Wolf.
Oh my God.
Now I know why you pick this topic, Jess.
Who's that?
No, don't worry about it.
She only talks about him all the time.
You don't listen.
This isn't the movie version, obviously.
No, it's the TV series
that was around that time.
Yeah, right.
Fair enough.
It had fans on Tumblr.
But they also, like, they had this goal of getting Tom Hiddleston from the Marvel movies.
Like, we could get Loki.
They could not get Loki.
Oh.
They could have at least aimed for someone in their country.
Why'd they go for an English guy?
You know what I mean?
It's probably an Illinois.
Illinois.
What the fuck would that be?
Illinois-I?
Illinoisian.
What was it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that really shortened it, so you can understand why I didn't realize.
You should have one of the local...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One of the Edmund.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
I reckon he was answering a different question.
You still with us?
Yeah.
He's a friend leading over.
Do you want to leave?
Yep.
Yeah.
Okay, so just to wrap it up, some attendees claim that the outside reaction is overblown and it's exaggerated and that even those who found the convention chaotic said they had a good time.
They had a bit of fun.
It's way better than some of the disasters we've talked about.
Oh, totally.
Fire festival?
We're like stuck on an island?
Woodstock 99.
Woodstock 69.
We did another woodstock, I reckon.
But pretty much all those ones were overcrowded.
That sounds luxurious.
Yeah, yeah.
And a lot of people are staying at this quite nice hotel.
Yeah.
Honestly, it seems like a victimless crime
because the only victim is a hotel
and they are obviously evil.
Obviously.
Any hoteliers?
Good.
Yeah, so they're like, the staff were nice.
They were doing their best.
We got to, you know, we had a bit of fun.
But it wasn't a convention convention.
You know what I mean?
They're like some of the outside reactions
a bit overblown.
So they got the 17 grand
and they're able to see out the whole weekend?
I'm not sure, actually, if the entire weekend went ahead.
There seemed to be a lot of...
There was a lot of footage on YouTube
of just, like, the organisers sitting at one of the panel tables,
like talking to microphones being like, yeah, you know, like,
we did our best.
We're trying.
So I don't think everything that was supposed to happen, happened.
At the end of the convention,
the organisers announced that they were still going to go ahead
with their plans for a 20.
2015 convention in Indiana.
And that did not go ahead.
That is surprising.
Yeah. But
earlier this year
in July,
dashcon 2
took place in Toronto.
Wow.
Yeah. Wow.
It's about all it it deserves.
But I watched a YouTube video about it.
And when they said the 550 tickets
they made available, I was like, oh, thank God.
It had been so really.
reasonable. They're not like 7,000 people. They sold out really quickly of the 550. I think in the end it ended up being more like a thousand people attending and it focused on celebrating a very specific era of fandom culture as well as the original dashcon event. So yes, there was a kiddie pool. They thought that was very important to include, although this one was much bigger. It could fit easily seven to ten people. Oh, okay. Great.
It's generally seen as having been very successful,
especially compared to the original dashcon.
And it also raised $7,000 for the Canadian Cancer Society.
Oh, that's great.
What a result.
So they're apparently keen to hold a third dashcon
to be held in 2026 or 2027.
I say we go.
Melbourne.
I forget where we are.
Adelaide.
Adelaide.
Wow, that'd be huge.
We're not going to take another one from you, guys.
Don't worry.
You can have this one.
I just wanted, like, I didn't entirely know the tone, like, how you guys would receive me just shitting on this convention that seemed to come from quite a nice place.
So that's why towards the end, I'm like, and they raise money for cancer cancer?
Yeah, great.
To be a bit more positive.
But I say, long may it rain.
Dashcon, come to Adelaide, please.
Yes.
Yes.
Dashcon Adelaide,
2027.
Yes.
Let's start the campaign now.
Let's do it.
We don't have enough time to organise it for next year.
That's all I'm too.
Oh yeah, it's November.
Yeah, no.
Like, honestly, I think...
2030.
A city that can put on things like a Christmas parade in November.
Yeah.
I think that's the kind of town with the kind of the foresight and the big thinking.
And what are you thinking?
Maybe you would put it around March when nothing else is going on in the city.
Yeah.
It is weird that you don't have your Christmas parade on then as well in March.
Spread it out a bit, Adelaide.
You got so many good things.
The year guy, I just said nah.
Oh, I heard one little...
I agree.
I liked that.
Anyway, that's fantastic.
Give it up a Jess Pokers and DashCon.
Thank you so much.
You guys really had to hang in there and you did.
Thank you so much.
I don't know about you, but I'm going to go home and sign up for Tumblr.
Oh, yeah.
It feels like it could be.
be big. Yeah. It's coming
back. It's coming back.
Actually, I logged on and one of my good
friends came up on
the dashboard, like he's still using it.
Regularly. I was like,
he just did this the other day. He's posted
like, hello, is anyone listening?
Hello? I'm so lonely. I'm trapped in the bathroom.
Hello? I'm trapped in the
ball pit.
I'm trapped
with the ball pit.
Oh, I love it. That's so good.
But I should call.
him.
Yeah.
Make sure he's like,
you're on Tumblr, dude.
Is everything okay?
Is everything all right?
There's other stuff now.
Yeah.
Get out there, man.
Get out of the bathroom, man.
Well, we've had some fun here tonight.
Now, honestly, thank you so much for coming out to the Rana Room here on our, on our Saturday night.
It's our Saturday night as well.
Your Saturday night, we're doing it together.
We will be hanging out up the back of the room as you leave.
You can either say hello.
Yep.
Or, as we always say, awkwardly avoid eye contact.
That's totally fine.
She's very welcome.
That's allowed.
We've brought over some merchandise that we had to pay...
Legal.
Legal?
It's all legal stuff.
We did have to pay Jetstar some money to bring it over, though.
We've got some tote bags, tour posters, pins.
We've got some stickers and some magnets.
And you can get one of each in the Dugawan show bag.
It's very, very exciting.
But you could also just come along and say hello if you like.
Or, like we said, we can leave.
You can leave it at some stage.
But we like to think...
Luckily raise the 17.
Yeah, that's right.
We need to sell 17K of merch tonight.
But before you go, can we please give a big round of applause
to Craig and everyone at the Rhino room?
Thank you so much.
To Rod on sound.
Rod.
Good to see you again.
And I believe Matt has an announcement.
Yeah, what was the venue called Ian Craig
that the show's on tonight that I'm doing soon?
How long are neat freak?
It's like the second week
they've been running this new comedy night
there. I'm going to be over there doing
10 minutes of new material
and maybe some old material because I'm a coward.
But I've been told
that anyone here tonight can get $5
tickets on the door if you say that you're
coming from the Duguayan show. So
love to see you over there. It should be a lot of fun.
It starts at 8 o'clock.
Start at 8 o'clock.
And it says.com.com.a.u's on as well.
and a bunch of locals.
It's going to be so much fun.
Should be fantastic.
That's guaranteed, Craig.
Is that right?
Is fun guaranteed?
You did seem to dodge the guarantee.
Yeah.
We've got a guarantee, though.
That's on record.
I am wearing a wire.
Oh, flies at the door.
So you'll have all the info at the door.
But please be there.
He needs this.
We can all walk over and single file, if you like.
That's nice.
All right, that's the end of the show.
Thank you again for coming out, Adelaide.
We love you, and we'll see you next time.
Good night.
And we're back in the room, and by room, I mean studio.
That's right.
This room is a studio.
This room is a studio.
We're back in Melbourne.
Thank you so much to the wonderful, oh, that sounded sarcastic,
but genuinely, the wonderful audience we had in Adelaide.
Yeah, so much fun.
Afterwards, we met a bunch of you on the way out,
which is lovely.
So nice.
And it's great to have to be there at the Rhino Room, which is an iconic comedy venue in Adelaide.
I'd never done The Rino Room.
Well, now you have, you can tick it off.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Because it does feel iconic.
And a lot of my, when I was doing more stand-up, a lot of my closest friends were Adelaide
and the Rino Room was like a, yeah, it was a sacred ground.
So when I was setting up the tech of the gig, Craig, who runs Adelaide Comedy, was helping
out, of course, and he's got a projector going.
and he's got 15 or 20 years.
No, they celebrated 20 years last, last Adelaide French.
Anyway, two decades worth of photos that it just randomly plays on the projector
for like hundreds of hours.
And it's amazing how the people that have been there.
The big names.
Yeah.
And also just other people that grew up in Adelaide have since gone on to do really massive things.
Yeah, so nice.
It's a really a great place that nurtures a lot of local talent as well.
So it was an honour to be there.
and what a hot crowd.
It was so nice.
It was a really fun, very receptive crowd.
We loved your vibe.
Loved seeing there's a point where I was like,
show other people around you if you're going to Google the kitty pool,
show the others.
And I could just see phones being like shown around and passed around.
And I was like, this is a nice.
A little ripples of laugh.
Nice sense of community.
See how crappy the trampoline was.
So funny.
And then afterwards, you and I, of course, went back to our hotel room.
Yep.
We had these little single bed side by side,
but it was so close we could reach out.
It was weird, yeah.
I feel like we, yeah, yep.
But we enjoyed some fantastic pizza.
Yes.
And couldn't get the built-in crime cast to the hotel TV to work.
So instead of watching the movie we planned to watch,
we just watched four episodes back-to-back of House Hunters International.
And it was honestly a perfect night.
It was so great.
Then you got the pods out, the Mars bar pods.
Yes, for dessert.
That was delicious.
And then...
Got up early the next morning to fly home.
That's right.
What a joy.
Thank you for having us, Adelaide.
What a beautiful city.
Yeah, a very nice place.
But that brings us to the section of the show where we like to spend a bit of time
thanking the wonderful people who support us on Patreon.com slash do go on pod.
There's a bunch of different levels on there, a bunch of different rewards.
Like what, Davy Boy?
You can get four bonus episodes every single month as well as access to the back catalog
of nearly 300 bonus episodes and they'll go for at least an hour each, really on average.
So there's hundreds of hours of bonus stuff there.
You can also be in the Facebook group, which is a beautiful place to be.
Believe us, it's the only thing keeping us on Facebook.
100%.
You can also hear about live shows before anyone else, get discount tickets, vote on topics.
Yeah.
This one was voted for on Patreon.
That's right.
And it won an absolute landslide.
And also, more recently, videos.
That's right.
You haven't mentioned the videos or ad free and or ad free.
Because the videos are ad free.
And also, we put out an audio version ad free of the ad free.
of the episodes. We haven't been doing the audio for about a year now.
But you can watch us now. Watch this whole thing.
That's right. Well, actually...
Not this one.
Sorry, not this one. Not the live ones, because traveling to state,
we're already bringing a full suitcase full of audio tech, a full suitcase full of merch.
We can't do cameras and stuff as well. Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry about that.
But it's... Trust us. It's not worth it.
So what we're going to do now is a little section of the show that is affectionately
a called fact quota question and I think it has a little jingle that goes a little something like this
fact quote or question
you were about to sing it yes I nearly I nearly went to autopilot and decided seeing
what how would that be autopilot for you you never sing it I have always sung it
yeah but at home I sing it now go for it fact quote a question
yeah I should let you do it damn it yes it would have sucked I would have
voice of an angel thank you so a dying angel thank you so much
And this is where people on the arsprud, no, no, Shineberg level or above, correct?
That's right.
Get to give us a fact, a quote, a question, a brag, a suggestion, some gossip, a recipe, a joke.
It can be literally anything.
And I've got a couple of people giving us fact quotes or questions this week.
Dave, are you ready?
I am so ready for these facts, quotes.
End of questions.
Okay, our first one comes from Katie Stackow.
who has given,
oh,
you get to give yourself a title as well.
Katie's title is
Superior Sniffer of Grape-derived
fermented liquid.
Okay.
I can't for the life of me
figure out what she's talking about,
but...
But keep sniffing.
Keep sniffing.
And Katie's giving us a fact.
And the fact is,
this might be a fact,
depending on your strict criteria
of a fact.
Okay, very strict over here.
Very interesting.
I'm looking ahead.
I haven't read any of this,
but it's a bit long.
Let's see if there's a fact in here.
Somewhere in here,
That might be a fact.
I once had an old Alaska native traditional chief of the Gwichan Nation living eight miles north of the Arctic Circle.
Tell me a story of how he was cured from a stomach ulcer he suffered from by adding porcupine shit to a hot stew.
Oh my gosh.
He claimed that after tripping out for a few hours and a solid night's rest, he was completely healed of his ailment.
You can imagine my disbelief.
However could animal waste possibly have medicinal qualities?
Here is where the fact comes in.
A staple of the porcupine's diet is bark from the birch tree.
The birch tree generates a pitch that has antiseptic and anti-microbriol.
I've always struggled with that.
Anti-microbial characteristics.
You might call it nature's neosporan.
The healing qualities are attributed to its active compounds,
particularly the tritapines, butylene and butelonic acid.
Back to maybe this is.
the fact, the chief told me that the healing properties of the birch pitch ingested by
porcupine were concentrated in the animal's turds, making it a perfect medicine. Now, I'm not
sure why he didn't just ingest the pitch directly as they make syrup out of the stuff,
so it's got to taste a heck of a lot better than dung. Porkupine shit, it's a hell of a drug,
folks. This should not be considered medical advice in any way, shape or form, you know,
disclosure. So that's important. There you go. Do you think there's a fact in there?
Yeah, that Pokemon
shit can be medicinal.
Can be medicinal.
And we are doctor so we can say.
Yeah, I agree with that.
And also, like, not saying that it would taste better than Pokemon shit,
unless you've eaten it.
Yeah, how do you know?
We don't know.
Let's not knock at a toy toy.
Try it.
Never know.
Maybe add it to a stew for flavor as well.
There's that, you know, very highly sought after coffee that is made from beans that
animals shit out.
Yeah.
So, you know?
Only coffee I'll drink.
Poor coffee.
No, poo coffee.
Every time we go out for coffee, and it's often, and it's the same cafe most weeks.
But Dave's always like, you guys got poo coffee?
I'll just go through the minute.
Has an animal pooed this?
Oh, no?
No, I'll have a matcher then.
Animal pooed?
Pancake, animal pooed this?
Has an animal pooed this?
Oh.
So do you like eggs then?
Yeah, I guess so.
It feels like animals.
It's close to a pulling.
Animals has cloacked this.
An animal has clotched this.
Has an animal poo to collect to this?
Thank you so much.
Extend the definition.
Thank you, Katie.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Hey, I've got to tell you, if it works, it works.
Yes.
It works.
If it works, it works.
I'm fine with, with, what's the word I'm looking for?
Plessibos.
Oh, okay, sorry.
I'm fine with poo.
I'm fine with placebos.
Yeah.
If they work.
Next up, if they work, is Matt number one.
Matt number one is giving themselves a title Tinder profile manager for sexually active popes.
I like that a lot.
That's really good.
And Matt number one is given us a question.
The question is, what is something you misunderstood for way too long?
As always, as we always ask people who ask questions to answer it themselves if they want to.
Matt has done that.
Examples for me, I always thought the phrase was for all intensive purposes.
That's a common run, I reckon.
Not all intents and purposes.
Probably because I first heard it in a cleaning product, in a cleaning products as a kid.
Hmm.
Oh, like in an ad or something?
Maybe.
As someone who has lived in Brisbane all their lives, I always thought...
Or maybe is, or do they do, like that's their joke tagline for all intensive purposes.
Yes, probably.
Yeah, okay.
Probably.
Matt goes on.
As someone who's lived in Brisbane all their lives, I always thought there was a music stadium in Sydney,
branded by the Maya department store, the Sydney Mya Music Bowl.
One day while working in Melbourne, a colleague said, let's go to a concert at the Sydney Mya Music Bowl.
I commented that they must be a keen fan to go to Sydney on a work night and be back on the job at six the next morning.
very confused looks.
Yeah, Sydney Mya Music Ball is named after Sydney Meyer.
That's right.
It's an S-I.
And is in Melbourne.
And is in Melbourne.
That's the confusion.
You're telling a Melbourne person,
oh, they're going to Sydney for that when it's like, no, there.
Tonight, you're going to go to the gig tonight of Sydney.
Right next to the city.
Easily accessible.
Very accessible, yes.
Yeah.
Yep.
I think I've walked home from there once.
That's cool.
I've walked home from there too.
It's a long walk.
On New Year's Eve.
Yeah.
Went to that, when the Falls Festival fell over and they had to do it at the, which
is usually like out camping.
Yes.
For maybe fire reasons or something.
Yeah.
They had to do it in the city, so I saw the Arctic Monkeys headline at midnight.
Was it COVID reasons maybe?
Oh, maybe it was.
Maybe.
Fireworks went off over the city, which is great because you're right there.
Beautiful.
They come back on and play another few songs and then I'm walking home.
Walking home.
Beautiful.
Gorgeous.
Something you misunderstood for way too long.
I just remembered one for a long time.
Like, embarrassingly long.
New South Wales.
Yes.
I spelled that with an H.
Wales, not as in it's named after the country, Wales.
How long?
Like into Adel.
Wales, New South Wales.
Yeah, whatever.
And I never even thought about it.
I'm like, hang on a second.
Wales.
Wales.
Yeah.
I'm only laughing because it's you and your...
And geography.
You're very good at geography and you're very smart.
Yeah, stupid stuff.
But that's the thing.
There are just like gaps in all of our knowledge.
Yeah.
When you just like, because one of those things you just don't think about again.
Yes.
And let me ask you what came first.
Wales or Wales?
Country.
No, the animal.
The animal.
Oh, pause.
Animal.
It's not a riddle.
I agree.
They're really old and really big.
They're really old and really big.
Yeah.
And Wales is the country really old.
Yeah, but not very big.
Not very big.
Compared to other countries.
Correct.
I think for me, the one that pops into my head is,
You know if you go to like a fancy restaurant and you get a digger station menu?
It's like a tasting menu.
You know, they sort of bring stuff out for you.
There might even be like paired wines and stuff like that.
I thought until I saw it written down, that was Digger Station.
Digger station.
Yeah, I thought it was Digger.
D I-W-G-E-R kind of like.
Station.
That's great.
For a while.
Then I saw it written down at a restaurant and was like, oh.
I went so.
It's not Digger Station.
But if I was just saying, I'll have the digger station.
Yeah, you'd get away with that.
But in your mind, what was it conjuring up the image?
Diggers.
Okay.
Yeah.
The Anzax.
Digging out of station?
Our boss.
Yeah, I've no idea.
I don't know why I thought it was called that.
I never looked into the backstory.
And if I had, I would have figured out it's not called a digger station.
That's so good.
There's lots of things.
Yeah, I'm sure I'll be thinking of some of the drive home today and be like, oh, yeah.
Remember when you didn't know that?
Yeah.
You're an idiot.
Same with like the honk if you're horny or those sort of bumper stickers.
Like the point of those is that if someone's honking at you, it's sort of a joke on them.
You know?
You're like, oh, I guess you're horny.
I was like, that's pretty funny.
Then people could walk along and go, you know, because they're horny.
That's not quite how it's supposed to work.
Anyway, thank you to Matt No. 1 and Katie Stacow for those wonderful facts, quotes or questions.
Thank you so much.
next thing we need to do
what episode are we doing here
yes I figured it out
so the next thing we like to do is
we usually do a bit of a shoutout
and we make a bit of a game of it Dave
that is correct and this week
we were talking about dashcon
fantastic conference around
Tumblr do you have any ideas
maybe we could do like what convention
they're attending
or like starting
they're on the planning committee
for a particular convention of something
Okay.
Do it take turns?
Oh, take turns.
Sorry, I just got really emotional.
I don't take turns.
I just love conventions.
Or do you want to go like half and half?
Oh, we can take it in turns, do you reckon?
Let's do it.
It's just every time we try to take it in turns, we forget where we're up to,
but I think we can do this.
Right, because there's only two of us.
You kick it off.
From Pasco Vale here in Victoria.
Hello and thank you to Craig.
Baked potatoes.
Really?
He's on the convention on the board.
The baked potato convention.
Wow, do you reckon there's sort of like.
Like the spudfest cheese section over here, sour cream section here.
Yes.
Whether you want meats.
Yep.
Beans.
Wow.
Whether you're a sweet potato kind of person.
Yeah.
White potato.
Yep.
Yams.
Yams.
Wow.
Could be anything.
Love it.
Yeah, it's going to be big.
And I can ask Jess, how did you come up with that one?
I'd rather you not ask, Dave.
I'm still full from lunch.
Okay.
Next I would like to thank.
Oh, actually, I've already done it.
See?
See?
We fuck it immediately.
Oh, no.
I feel like it.
Next, I would like to thank...
I'd like to thank them as well, to be clear.
From address unknown, we can only assume deep within the fortress and the malls.
Naomi.
Naomi is a convention for stapler.
Oh, the stapler car.
Yes, they're stapler a car.
Oh, would they also have stuff like staple removers?
Oh, no, that's anti.
Right.
What about hole punches?
Yeah, whole punch.
I feel like anything that, they want something that puts a hole in.
But not takes a hole out.
Not takes a hole out.
Sounds weird, doesn't it?
Does.
Takes a hole out?
Yeah, they feel weird about the tagline, but they've printed a thousand posters.
Wow.
What kind of size venue are they?
10,000.
It's quite big.
Stapler Khan.
Stapler Khan, 2025.
Go to our new year.
They tour as well.
Oh, they're full time.
Yeah, it's pretty massive.
Yeah, they got the big names of staplers.
Oh, yeah, who have you got?
You got Hover's Works.
Yep.
She's a blue one.
Anko.
Anko, that's a good one.
There's got to be an Anko stapler.
Yeah.
Thank you, Naomi.
Next up, I would like to thank from Brisbane in Queensland.
Thank you to Pete Moffat.
Dream Catchers.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Did you have a dream catcher at all growing up?
Yeah, we made them in primary school, but I was sick that day.
So then my mum bought me one, and the bought one was way better than anything I could have made.
So much better.
It was so good.
It was like purple, beautiful.
Loved it.
And caught all my dreams.
Yeah, everyone else's dreams was shit.
I haven't dream since.
Yeah.
Because you threw it away.
I don't have dreams.
Can you get a dream catch?
I don't have goals, sort of aspirations.
Or because you threw it away.
Yeah.
Foolish.
I would like to thank from Katie in Texas.
Shikata Kida, is that something?
Not for me.
You got to go watch Blues Brothers, my friend.
Anna Oaks.
Anna Oaks, convention of seashells.
Whoa.
Yeah, like really big.
ones, really small ones, really rare ones. Okay. What about like kind of broken ones, but still
mostly in part. I feel bad about this, but one of my great guilty pleasures is walking along
the beach if there's a lot of seashells washed up and just crunching them. Is that bad? I think
I'm just making more sand. True, but then what about homes for crabs? Or what about shells for
people who collect shells? I feel bad for the people that collect shells. Do you also just walk along
and stomp on snails? You psycho? No, but I like a crunchy leaf. Sure. And a stick. Love a crunch.
you love to step on a snail.
No, because...
You don't do it on purpose.
No, actually, I feel so bad, but I'm...
If it's dark and it's been raining,
you hear the crunch and you go, oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
I can't look back.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, you feel nothing about the shells?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, if I looked down and there was a hermit crab inside, yes, I would feel bad.
So you're walking along the beach in shoes?
Yeah, it's like a winter, a winter activity.
I will say, I'm not doing it anymore because I feel bad about it,
but it's like, I still love the crunch.
I miss the crunch.
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
It's a childlike thing.
I can't quite look at you, but...
Am I a monster, everyone?
Am I a monster? I think I was making more sand.
Let's move on and thank someone, Dave.
The world needs sand.
I can't look at you anymore.
Oh my gosh, we need for sand pits.
That's just for children and dogs to piss in.
Next up I'll like to think.
From Modesto in California, it's William Ramesburg.
William Ramesberg.
The sunglasses convention.
Oh, so cool.
Yeah.
We've both got sunglasses on the table.
You'd never...
Well, yeah, because we went to the convention.
Yeah.
Oh, wow, I've got these sort of sleek number.
Yeah.
Make me look like I ride a motorcycle in 1960s.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Every time you put that on, I go, is James Dean here?
Oh, my God, I say.
And then I go, oh, it's Dave.
It's just...
Dave getting out of his very sensible car.
Yeah, a very sensible family car.
Oh, oh.
Oh.
Politely.
It's a station wagging.
Politely crossing the road.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, my friend Dave waving at me.
Hello.
Why is he waving?
So disappointed.
Oh my God.
Oh.
Oh, I see.
It's just my colleague who I expected to see here.
Thank you, William.
I would love to thank from El Paso, Texas.
Autumn.
Autumn.
Love the name autumn, can I just say.
Autumn.
Beautiful.
Beautiful name.
But Australians shorten everything.
We'd probably call them like, like, Audi.
Like, we'd kind of, we ruin everything.
I quite like Aorty.
Me too, actually.
Yeah.
I just, I rift it and I like it.
Yeah.
Tum, Tummy.
Tumny.
Tumny.
But Autumn's a lovely name.
And Autumn is the convention for, and this is good for tonight, big New Year's Eve, Fireworks.
Oh.
When the episode comes out as New Year's Eve.
That fucking rules.
Firewarks convention.
I'd love to go to that.
Yeah, that'd be so far.
I love fireworks.
Yeah.
Like I have a, I turn into a child when fireworks,
on because we can see the city fireworks from our house so anytime there's an event that has fireworks
moonbar new year's a big concert at the mcg i can see them and i'll be sitting on the couch just
watching tv and i can see them just oh my eyes will dart over and there's and i'm straight to the
window going oh oh oh fireworks fireworks fireworks i love them that's great i used to dream about
being proposed to during fireworks i love fireworks really did that happen i never got proposed to so
There's still time.
There's still time.
Notice.
Woo!
I've just realized that tonight's the anniversary of me
seeing the Arctic Monkeys at the music as well
because it was a new Zee from the fireworks.
Oh my God.
Did you propose?
I did.
To Alex, the singer of the Arctic Monkeys.
He couldn't see me.
I was so far away.
Oh, it's so disappointing.
Next up, I'd like to thank
from a location that is unknown to us
probably deep within the fortress of the malls as we speak.
Nick Livermore.
Nick Livermore.
The Harmony
convention. Oh, that's good. I would love that.
To sing your way in? Oh, gorgeous. Well, no, you have to, you have to harmonize your way in.
They'll give you a note and you have to, yeah, that's nice. That's beautiful.
And they say, come on in. Come on in. That'll be $50.
You have to pay as well. Of course you do. Unless you sound really good.
Yeah, unless you, yeah. There's a few people that. And they go, come right in.
Yeah. Please, it's an honor to have you. Yeah. I would, is it me? Yes. I would also love to
thank also from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles. Paul van der Malen.
Paul Van der Melan is the chair of the maps convention.
Maps convention.
You'd love that.
I would.
Oh, you'd see some old maps.
Yes.
I used to sometimes go to a map shop with my dad because he was into car rallying as a navigator.
You have to get specific maps for the rallies that they do.
And you go and then there'd be like dozens of globes and all the different kinds.
Yeah.
Does that map shop still exist?
Was it in Chadston?
There was a map shop.
Oh, no, it wasn't inside a shopping center.
No, no.
Oh, there was a map shop.
It wasn't at Chadston Shopping Center.
It was in, it was on like Waverley Road.
Oh my God, I reckon that's it.
Yeah.
Used to drive past it all the time.
Let me look it up.
Waverly Road.
I think it was Waverly Road.
Yeah.
Waverly Road and Warrigal.
Melbourne Map Center?
Possibly.
Established 1981.
Shopfront closed 2017.
Yeah.
So I worked at Chadson Fashion Capital and lived in that area.
I would drive past that map shop all the time.
Oh, damn.
Oh, look at this.
There's a blog.
with all the folks. Like, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, wow.
Full of maps. Obviously, the people running it were very into maps.
Of course. I was fascinated as a child. It actually tracks so beautifully that your dad would be into
like rally car driving as a navigator. Yes, well, that's because before we were born or whatever,
he had the car and all that sort of stuff. Sick. Yeah, he, oh man, historic rallying. He's very
into that. For old cars, but then, um, sold the car once the kids came along and there's been,
And kids came and ruined everything.
Sorry, Dad.
Took away his passion.
But he's also won a bunch of rallies as a navigator.
That's cool.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
So he likes to go fast.
Yes, he does.
I think I could, yeah, I don't know if, oh, would I be the driver or the navigator?
I'm not very good at navigating.
I'd have to be the driver.
Damn.
Yeah, I imagine you'd be getting quite carcic looking down at the map telling it.
True.
What's coming up next?
I prefer to drive.
You need to be in charge.
Do you want to be my navigator?
Yes.
Would you trust me?
Yes.
Would you actually?
I would trust you with the map.
Yeah. Would you trust me to drive?
Yeah.
Oh, I'd probably have to learn manual.
I give up on this new dream already.
I told you I don't have dreams.
Fair enough.
All right, one last one I think.
To bring this home, am I correct?
Yes, from a location that is unknown to us as well.
Probably listening right now in the fortress.
Cabin Lab or in the cabin.
Cabin Lab.
Oh, that's nice.
Surfing convention.
Surfing.
It's a coastal cabin.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah.
Like within walking distance of the beach?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Just across the road.
That's so good.
Nice little part.
into a gorgeous beach.
Take your board.
Sunny day.
And do they have that sort of wave pool that you can surf?
Yeah.
Urban surf.
It's called the ocean.
But at the convention.
Or is that at the beach too?
Oh, at the convention, definitely.
That's where the convention is being held.
Is it an urban surf.
Beautiful.
Chris Hemsworth's there.
Of course he is.
Liam, maybe if he's a free.
Really?
And the other one?
Luke's invited.
Great.
But he's too busy.
Has an RSVP.
That's huge.
Thank you to Cabin Lab.
Paul, Nick, Autumn, William, Anna, Pete, Naomi and Craig.
And the final thing we need to do, Davy, see if there's anybody to induct into the
Trip Ditch Club. It looks like we do have a few, actually.
This is our Hall of Fame or our Clubhouse for people who've been supporting the show
on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years.
They've never dropped off. They've stayed true. They've already had a shout-out a couple
years back. But now, to enshrine them forever, their name goes up on the wall.
We welcome them into the club. It's a bit of a theatre to the mind.
But once you're in, you can never leave.
Yeah. Why would you want to? Why would you want to? It's got everything you need. The toilets are fixed.
They're fixed? Yes. Thank goodness because New Year's Eve, they're going to be busy.
Yeah, and I've had a lot of dairy. Yeah. Which is good.
Well, it doesn't typically impact me too much. Yes. But I've had a lot.
Oh, okay. Right. Enough that would make anyone quite ill.
Yes. Yeah, yeah. In fact, it might not even be about the dairy. Yeah. It's just the quantity of anything.
It's liquid intake. Yeah. I assume it's milk.
Mm-mm. Just lead. Oh, okay. Sour cream.
Oh, great.
I've had a lot of sour cream just as is.
Sounds like warm?
Yeah.
And you always organise a food, food or a drink.
Wow.
Why do you think there's so much sour cream?
No, it's New Year's.
So we're having, we've got champagne.
Oh, cheers.
Got cocktails.
Beautiful.
We've got sex on the beach.
Oh, fun me.
And a drink.
Bit of fun.
I love my drink at first.
I got sparklers.
They're too hot.
They are.
Those things are hotter than the sun are.
Yeah, they are.
fact.
They are very dangerous.
Is that a fact?
Hotter than the sun?
That can't be, David.
Well, I'm thinking of, I think that's lightning.
Lightning is hotter than the sun.
But people have been struck by lightning.
There's a website called Wedding Day Sparklers.
Sparklers versus Sun discover the heat differences.
Are sparklers hotter than the sun, or is this a myth?
It is a myth.
At the end of the day, it's unequivocally true that the sparklers are not high temperature
than the sun.
I have heard that before.
But you thought people were putting something
in their child's birthday cake
that was hotter than the sun, David.
Someone else has written.
The sparklers burn at high temperatures
as hot as 1,800 to 3,000 degrees Fahrenheit,
which is 1,000 to 1,600 degrees Celsius,
responsible for 16% of legal fire-related injuries in the US.
They are really hot.
I'm not saying they aren't hot.
Are you hearing me?
You would not put something in your child's birthday cake
that is as hot as the sun.
But would you put something in child's birthday cake?
It is 1,500 degrees.
Even that's insane.
Oh, yeah, that's crazy.
What are we doing?
That's crazy.
But we're all adults, so we've got them for New Year's.
Woo!
Happy news, everyone.
I'm going to play Old Langsign.
Oh, and you know who's going to be taking the stage at midnight after Old Langsign?
Who?
You're never going to believe it.
What?
This is, of course, after a money was about DashCon.
Yes.
And I've booked.
You're never going to believe it.
Dashboard Confessional.
No fucking way.
Didn't you believe it.
Can we?
Can we?
Can for one night.
We rename them dashboard convention.
Yes, we can.
Conventional if they want.
Conventional if they want that.
Please.
Wow.
That's good stuff.
Please welcome to the stage.
Dashboard conventional.
That's great.
What an absolute get.
Now, I'll play the role of Matt this week then.
We'd never mention that Matt's not here.
Oh, yes.
Imagine if he was here this whole time and he'd just been quiet.
We turned his mind.
Finally, it was quiet.
That's so funny.
He didn't have a coffee and this is what happens.
I know Matt's not here.
So what I will be doing.
is playing the role of Matt, which is lifting the velvet rope, welcoming people in.
You'll hype them up.
I'll then hype you up.
We'll just get a nice flow going without Matt here going,
I think I could do better than that, actually.
And then he doesn't.
And then he doesn't.
He does something that's a bit shit.
And we go, okay, yeah.
Oh, go for the most obvious joke.
Fantastic.
Yeah.
Dave's going for something creative and original.
Yeah, like maybe the fourth or fifth most obvious joke.
Okay.
Pretty good.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Let's do this.
So, welcome into the Triptitch Club, the following people.
Well, first up from Bradford in Great Britain, it's Kaylean.
Oh, I've really thought you're going to go with Kaleen.
It's not Kailene.
Fine.
Kaly Ann, Kaly Ann, Kalyann, Kalyann, Kalyann, I'm a fan.
I'm begging of you, please don't take my man.
I really, like, I want to support you.
I thought, I'm almost, why would that be Kaleen?
I don't know, but if it was Kailene, can you see how good Jane, Jolene would be?
I was thinking about James Dean, that was my backup.
You should have just sung.
Kaleen anyway.
I thought Kalyann was funny because it doesn't work.
Okay, next up from...
But Kaley-Anne, I'm your number one fan.
That's great stuff.
Woo!
From Camberwell in Victoria, it's Caitlin Hodder.
This ain't no fodder.
You're my favourite, Caitlin Hodder.
Woo!
From Maidstone in Great Britain, it's Fay Diamond.
I'm down on one knee and I've got a Fay diamond.
A fake diamond?
No, a Fay diamond.
Oh.
Which is one of the most expensive diamonds there is.
One of the most valuable items on earth.
And from Ramsgate, also including...
Great Britain, it's Daniel Faulkner.
Daniel Faulkner loves to talkna.
Oh, and I love to listen.
Woo!
Happy New Year, everyone.
Thank you, Daniel Fay, Caitlin and Kay.
That's fun, Daniel Fay, Caitlin Kay.
Oh my gosh, that was so fun.
That was really nice.
Caitlin, the only Australian in there, everybody else, a Brit.
And we love it and we welcome you.
So thank you so much.
That's everything then for this week.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you again to Adelaide.
what a fantastic audience.
You were so wonderful and we had a great time.
And hopefully it won't be like six years before we come back again.
But I make no promises.
We know no promises.
But you made a great impression.
Yeah, they were like, oh, she's welcome back.
Yeah.
She can come.
Oh, you're talking to me or to Adelaide?
No, Adelaide.
Oh, I see him.
I, Jess Perkins, had made a good impression.
I finally won the MOVA.
Finally.
Because the thing is on the pod, rude dude.
You know what I mean?
Cool but rude.
Sassy.
Yeah.
In person, sweetie, patiti,
yes.
Okay?
Yes.
Couty, pituti, sweetie.
Definitely.
Why aren't you looking at me?
Because if I do, you'll hurt me.
That's right.
So, we've got to get out of here.
If you'd like to suggest a topic, you can.
There's a link in the show notes.
And you can find us on socials.
Do Go On Pod or do go on podcast on TikTok.
That's right.
We will see you next year.
What?
There's a good chance you're listening to this next.
year.
Uh-huh.
Isn't that so crazy?
Oh my gosh.
Dave,
just that noise you made.
Can I just play them the sound that you made on an episode of,
nah?
No,
you can play,
yeah.
Dave made this sound on an episode of Just Right's a rom-com and I...
Check it out.
I was on with Matt and we were talking about the movie Ghost or Ghosts.
What's it?
No, it's ghost.
Oh, yeah, we're talking about ghost.
Again.
Oh.
It was too sexual.
And I was not even.
doing a bit.
No, while anything and I went,
Jesus.
I was literally trying to just engage in a conversation.
Oh.
So, yeah, enjoy that from the future.
Woo!
Thank you again.
Did you mention our website and all that sort of stuff?
Yeah, if it's fine, they'll figure it out.
Do you go onpod.com.
We'll be there.
And we'll be in...
We'll be in New Zealand very soon.
New Zealand, that's right, and Brisbane.
New Zealand, in January, Brisbane in February.
Head to dogoonpod.com.
Although they're all sold out.
So I was going to say if you want to come, but you can't.
Sold out.
But we added extra shows.
Have they not sold out?
No, not quite.
Well, at the time recording, not quite.
Which is months early.
Yeah, okay.
Try your luck.
Try your luck.
You never know.
I hope to see you there.
Love you.
And we'll be back next year with some more do-go-on podcast goodness.
Goodbye.
Good.
But until then, thank you.
Goodbye.
And happy new year.
Goodbye.
Dave, try and say something.
Come on.
Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are
and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.
Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,
oh, you should come to Manchester.
We were just in Manchester.
But this way you'll never miss out.
And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram,
click our link tree, very, very easy.
It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you.
Yeah, we'll come to you, you come to us.
Very good.
And we give you a spam-free guarantee.
Thank you.
