Do Go On - 537 - Magic Alex, The Beatles' Electric Guru

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

In the mid 1960s, Alexis Mardas met John Lennon from The Beatles, and the self-professed inventor made an immediate impression. With outlandish ideas like an artificial Sun, paint that could change colour or a force field that surrounded the Beatles' homes for security, he soon found himself head of Apple Electronics. But just how many of these whacky ideas came to fruition? Recorded live at Oasis Comedy Club in Perth.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 4:46 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Alex# https://www.beatlesbible.com/people/alexis-mardas/2/https://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-spiritual-leader-who-introduced-millions-including-the-beatles-to-transcendental-meditation-779109.htmlhttps://www.tumblr.com/thecoleopterawithana/695157459703267328/so-ive-always-wondered-about-magic-alex-whohttps://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9015279/Apple-Electronics-Inside-Beatles-eccentric-technology-subsidiary.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Matt Jess and Dave here. Just to give you a little update on a few exciting things happening very soon. That's right. We're looking at the rest of the year thinking, let's go to some new places, but we can only go there if we know that an audience will turn up. So wherever you are in the world, you can sign up to our mailing list. There's a link in our link tree on the do go on Instagram. Basically, you feel out your email and where in the world you would see us

and we'll only email you once we're going there. No spam, nothing like that. It's just, for example, you live in Tokyo. We'll let you know when we're doing a show in Tokyo. Please tell us about that. We'd love to go to Tokyo. Man, it would be a dream to go to Tokyo. But we are doing some live shows in Melbourne and Adelaide coming up.

We're doing three shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2026. This is March 29. There's April 5. It's not on. Sorry, that's Easter. We're not doing that. April 12 and April 19. You can get a ticket to each of the shows or a season pass.

And it's very much discounted because you only have to pay the ticket fee once. I tell you what, this is not going to help the rumours that one of us is the Easter Bunny. We're going to have to delete that. Pretend you didn't hear that. I'm also doing it. Who knew with Matt Stewart live at the Adelaide Fringe on March the 7th. And Serenjiamana, a friend of the show, are doing a run of our new material show, which I think is called Seren Jiamana and Matt Stewart present Seren Jira and Matt Stewart. Something like that. And it's on at the right-no room in Adelaide, March 3rd to 9th and Melbourne International Comedy Festival, April 7th and 19th at the Cooper's Inn. Cannot wait, pumped up. But yeah, get onto the mailing list.

Get onto the mailing list. Or if you want to get tickets to any of the shows we just mentioned, And like I said, it's 2026. Go Onpod.com, click on live shows, and we will see you very soon. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dev Warnocki. Perth, how you doing out there? Oh my gosh. And of course, I'm on stage right now with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart, everyone.

Yay! Hello. So good to be here in Perth. The Oasis Comedy Club. What a great club. What a great time. What a great city. What a great day.

If you were to phrase that as a question, how would you say? Yeah, how would you... Oh, how good is it to be alive? But yeah, that would have been better. I was, in that list, I'm like, I need a big one to finish on, and I did, day. And Jess, you was happy to be in Perth as Matt? I'm fine. Yeah.

I know what you want me to say. And fuck you. That's what I wanted. Fuck you. Matt, you're checking the cricket scores? Yes. None for 61. I think Head just hit a six.

What a weird game. This may be over today. Crazy. Is that gibberish to anyone else? Yeah, we've lost a lot of you. I don't get it. And he keeps explaining it, which is very nice, and then it's just like, blip.

Yeah, and I've also been telling her about real cinema, like The Godfather, Godfather 2. To a lesser degree, Godfather 3. They lost it a little bit there, but really, when Scorsese... When Scorsese... When Scorsese... Castes he... ...cars his daughter in one of the key roles, I think, you know, the movie...

I'm really probably putting a woman in such a key role as well. Wait, do you want to start the show again? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I thought that the cricket chat would be ditched. Yeah, sorry about that. Well, I mean, I checked quietly and you asked you... Yeah.

You are on... stage in front of people. But we already realised they can't see us. Yes, that's right. Oh, we could do anything from sort of here down. Except for you. Don't look. Okay, but everyone

I'll say... No, you can look. All right, Dave, start the show. Start the show. In case this makes it, for the people at home, Matt has already picked out the hunkiest person in Perth. Yeah. And it's you, sir. Congratulations. What a hunk.

Well, I mean, I'd say Dave's really extrapolating I said beautiful eyes. I mean, it's just coincidence that those eyes are surrounded by a hunk with a smile to die for. So we always start these live shows by asking give us a cheer if you've ever heard the podcast before.

Beautiful, at the other end of the scale, we always say, don't be shy, be loud, be proud, give us a cheer if you've never heard the show before in your life. A couple? The hunk. The hunk. The hunk's a tag along.

Have you heard this before? Twice, okay. Well, now you're our biggest fan. Yeah. Yeah, and the feelings of mutual. We all get tattoos like I was face. So the hunk and a few people in the middle haven't heard the show before. Jess, how would you explain that?

Fuck you. Okay. So one of the three of us, research is a topic, usually suggested to us by our fantastic listeners. And I turned to Matt, but it's not Matt. It's Dave's turn this week. Yes. Yeah, you're allowed to openly celebrate.

It's okay. We get it. All right, everyone. Yeah, that's right. I'm not done. I'm so sorry about this, hunk. I'm sorry, hunk. I never want to know your name.

Do not ever tell me your name. Don't you dare tell me his name. Here's the hunk. And we always get onto the topic with a question. Dave, do you have a question for us? I do have a question for Matt and Jess, and if they can't get it after a couple, you can start yelling out.

But let's just see how we go. The following people have all been given what nickname, Brian Epstein, Pete Best, Stuart Sutcliffe. The fifth beetle. Nick Mason, and the answer is the fifth beetle. I swear I heard Jeffrey Epstein, but you didn't say Jeffrey, did you? No. Because I'm like, oh.

What is Dave doing? I felt that in the crowd. Brian Epstein, everyone went, oh, thank God. No. Brian Epstein, who was at some stage, their manager. The answer is the fifth beetle. Today's topic isn't a fifth beetle, but it is a man that John Lennon referred to as his personal guru, commonly known as Magic Alex. Yes.

Are you familiar with Magic Alex's work? No, but I'm already a fan. I think you're going to love him. He always travelled around with a close-up magician. Backstage, you know, in all the docos you'll see it just before he goes out, He's always like, come, do us a trick. Oh, he's like, God, do it's a trick. My car's an ace.

And he's also really bad because he tells the magician every time what card he's going. Do a trick, mine's an ace. Oh, shit. So let me tell you about magic. Has anyone heard of Magic Alex? I reckon you've got to be a pretty deep into the Beatles law to be aware of this guy.

But I came across him a few years ago and I was like, I have to do a report on this man. So let me tell you about Alex, who was born Alexis Mardis on the 5th of May, 1942 in Athens, Greece. Not much is known about his early life, but we do know he arrived in London as a 23-year-old student on a visa in 1965 where he befriended John Dunbar, owner of the trendy London Indica Art Gallery,

and whilst paying the bills as a TV repairman, through Dunbar and the gallery, Alex met Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones. Do TV repair men still exist? Because now we just kind of chuck them. Oh, yeah. And like the second it doesn't work, you're like, out the window and off to J.B.

Is that a profession that died out? Yeah, I knew through a TV out, and then it turned out that the H-TMI called wasn't quite plugged in. I was seriously like, I was on J-B website, being like, how much could it call? Oh, okay, I'll have another go. It's worked. Just plug it in.

Yeah, plug it in. So. Dave's a pretty die-hard environmentalist as well. Yeah. Yeah. Everything he wears, He sees it all as a one-wear t-shirt, off. There's no washing machine in his house, it's a big bin.

A really big bin. He refuses to donate to alpshops. Landfill only. Yeah, what's the point? I mean, I need to leave a legacy. So you met the Rolling Stones, and they commissioned him to design a way to link sound to lights for the group's live shows,

because he knew a bit about electronics. I read in a few places that the band weren't that impressed, but Alex soon met. and that is a bit of foreshadowing but he met John Lennon and started working for a different band

The Beatles heard of them they were massive at this time with both their fourth and fifth albums coming out in the UK in 1965 first help and then rubber soul and Lennon was immediately taken by Alex

Paul explained in the Beatles anthology actually Matt you do a fantastic McCartney impression would you be able to read Paul McCartney reflecting on Magic Alex. Yeah, I can, but I mean someone just very politely heckled something. That was maybe worth repeating. You said John was really taken by him and someone said, where?

They heckled almost to themselves, but I heard it. And do they do it in a Beatles accent? Were you? Yeah, I guess so. Were you spicing up the heckle a little? Yeah, I guess you could do that. All right, so this big bold, I appreciate you pre-doing.

Yeah, so the context of the thing. leading up to it was John was like this guy's this guy's great beefing him up a lot and this is how Paul actually remembers it I'll remember John come no is that yeah okay that's no no yeah that's more ring go do you need help getting into it yeah yeah yeah because you always start with a plinka plonka yeah yeah because my my person is really it's uh me trying to remember the um the guy who does an impression of him garth who's the guy played gath doesn't matter dana carvey dana carvey thank you Dana Carvey, right?

So Dana Carvey's like, I'm an American man. And then, so he's, oh, I mean, I'm a blink. I remember John coming to my house. That's good, that's good, that's good. Keep it going. Keep the momentum going.

I remember John coming to my house one day and saying, this is my new guru, Magic Alex. No, awful. And I said, oh, okay. Perfect, perfect. That's nice.

Sorry to any scowsers listening at home Or in the room, any Liverpoolians in? Great. No. No, because they just killed themselves. Due to how bad my impression was. That was clear, right? I wasn't saying, it wasn't because of the ashes or anything.

So basically, that's the vibe of the Beatles at the time. John's like just coming up with stuff. I've got a guru, and Paul's like, all right. Okay. Yeah. All right. So, Lennon had nicknamed him Magic Alex because of his impressive, technological, and scientific knowledge.

That's in John's eyes. Lennon was especially impressed with Magic Alex's invention called the Nothing Box, which was a small plastic box with randomly blinking lights that Lennon would stare at for hours whilst under the influence of LSD. And he was like, this guy knows science. This is fucking awesome.

So he basically, he's like, you're hired. a guru. That's so fun. Magic Alex soon became part of the Beatles entourage from Paul McCartney again. Because John had introduced him as a guru, there was perhaps a little pressure on him to try and behave as a guru. I didn't treat him that way. I thought he was just some guy with interesting ideas. But what is a guru if not some guy with interesting ideas? Do you think you have interesting ideas? No. If you found some though, you could be a guru. Yeah, yeah. Well, I found out I don't have interesting ideas when we came out on stage and you said that all that I was telling you out the back, you weren't listening to. Yeah.

And I went, oh. Oh. But I've never listened to you. It's been 10 years. Ten blissful years. Ten years of silence. It's so nice. It's just so nice we can just like sit quietly together. Yeah, my voice, some people just can't hear it. Yeah, sort of like...

We used to get like, in the early days of the podcast, iTunes reviews being like, I think there's a third person there. But it's just drowned out by the sound of the road in my car. So on September 1967, the Beatles set up a new company for Magic Galaxy called 50 Shapes Limited. For him to develop new and exciting, quote-unquote, inventions he'd promised the Beatles. Some of his proposed inventions apparently included

and these are just a few. We'll get to a few more later but some early ones included. A force field that would surround the Beatles homes surrounding them with coloured air so no one could see inside. Can't see through coloured air. Nice try. A force field of compressed air to go around the Beatles cars so no one could drive into them.

And see if you can see her pattern developing year. A force field around Ringo's drums. A force field around Ringo's drums, which would isolate the drum sound from the rest of the microphones in a studio. It sounds like he's being like, we don't want to hear from him. Paul can come back later. They're just trying to get rid of him.

Also, an x-ray that could see, x-ray camera that could see through walls, a little bit pervy. A paint that could make anything invisible. Again, could be used for pervy purposes. If he achieves one of these, it'll be like the biggest genius of all time. Just focus on one, mate. Great ideas. My personal early favourite is also a flying saucer for which Alex requested the V12 engines from both John's Rolls-Royce and George's Ferrari, Burlinetta Cars.

They didn't give him the engine. But if they did. What could he have done? What could he have done? Yeah. I love magic Alex. So he's inventing stuff, but he's also, he's just around every day. So according to beetlesbibble.com, love this website.

In 1967, the Beatles briefly considered buying a Greek island. to escape the pressure of fame, and then to have a place where they could take drugs understood. They were seemingly unaware that Greece had recently been taken over by a military junta. Marta promised to use his family connections

to help broker the deal with the Greek government. The idea was they'd build a series of houses built for the Beatles, and their close associates linked together by a series of tunnels. So they all went to Greece with their families and entourage. McCartney later said that while sailing around, the Greek islands everyone just sat around and took LSD sounds like a great holiday

apparently on a trip to a small village in the hills they got there and quote hundreds of photographers were waiting for them and apparently having been tipped off by magic galaxy trying to get a bit of press but the Beatles soon lost interest in buying the island and pulled out of any plans George Harrison later said to make the purchase we'd change the money into some international dollars or some currency. International dollars. Yeah. You know.

Okay? We've all traveled. Then when they changed the money back, it was the only time the Beatles ever made any money on a business venture. So the rate had changed and they went, oh, great. So they didn't get an island, but they made some money. Soon after this, the Beatles set up their own business, Apple Corps. On the founding of, oh my God, I've never said that out loud before.

That's really clever Do you get it? What? On the founding of Apple John commented Our accountant came up and said We got this amount of money Do you want to give it to the government

Or do something with it So we decided to play businessmen for a bit Because we've got to run our own affairs now I'd be giving it to the government Really? It's just easier Yeah And I love the government Take care of it

And I trust them to do good things with my money Yes Someone goes like I'm kidding too dickhead Jess you fucking idiot the government actually kind of sucks I think well I mean you know Jess they do a lot of good things as well

the roads you drive on the hospitals you go to I am frequently at hospitals just to meet new people you know I think I'm pro government I'm pro government which one for him

you can fuck right off Matt who's your favourite Perth politician favourite Perth politician Just put you on the spot Question without notice But you've got a few

Yeah well If it's do I need to know them by name Yeah Yeah of course Because the only two I know are Basil Zemplis Know by name And the chair sniffer

Not his name Oh, Kim Beasley. How about him? Great, well, there's your top. So your top three is Basil's Embellis. Cheers Nipper and Kim Beasley. Do you want to briefly... Oh, is Clam Palmer?

That's not his name. No. His name's Clive, not Clam. Queenslander. Oh, he's got a bit of a West Australian. You don't think he's got a bit of a Western Australian bar. I'm about him? Hey

You Yeah Yeah I like that You knew I was talking about When I said Clam Pam

Oh Clam Wow Wow Well black Betty Okay So you're more Cher sniffing

types Is the chest in for the best option there? Vote one That's grim You did You had a really

Kim Kim Beaz Bob Hawk, is he? Oh, you misheard the question. You thought Jess asked who my favourite politician with a surname that's a bird. Easy mistake to make. I'm a peacock man.

Can you believe I had a second one there at my same? Oh my God. That's so good. And Wayne Swan. Oh! Well, that question went better than I could ever have dreamed of. So they set up this business, they've got to spend money. They set up the Apple boutique, which is the shop at 94 Baker Street in London.

It was one of the first ventures. And for the grand opening in December 1967, Magic Alex, at great expense, was commissioned to create one of his ideas, an artificial sun, which would light up the nighttime sky. And when the time came for him to demonstrate his artificial son for the Beatles, he claimed there was not a strong enough energy supply on earth to power it. The Beatles accepted this explanation. I don't think the Beatles are good at business.

He's like, we need that sun up there to power this sun down here. And at night it's not there. When you said an artificial son, I reckon if people like me, they were thinking like a robot child. I'm like, this is the first one that's probably achievable. But also, honestly, don't call him an artificial son to his face. And everyone has to keep reminding John, you've already got a son. He's like, do I? Sorry, well, it's true.

Shit, Dad. You'd be surprised to know that the boutique folded after less than eight months. So the next year in 1968, what was it? The boutique folded, what was it? I'm just selling like Beatles themed stuff. That, okay. Like basically a pop-up shop. Yeah, sick.

But for some reason it needed an artificial sun. That makes sense. The next year in 1968... Is that what George Harrison's here comes to the sun is about? Any day now. Any day now. Son, sad, sad, here it comes. Okay, we'll go get it because I think it missed its cue.

Yeah, okay. Any... Come on. Here it comes. So in 1968, Magic Alex married, this is such a great name. Urofsine doxiatis. Oof, yes. Fantastic great name.

All of the Beatles attended the wedding. John Lennon was joint best man alongside Scottish singer Donovan. Wow. So they're all really tight. They hang out heaps. Magic Alex joined Lennon and Harrison in India, where they were studying meditation under the tutelage of Maharishi, Mahesh Yogi, the creator of Transniscay.

Dental Meditation. The visit followed the Beatles' denunciation of drugs in favour of meditation and received widespread media attention. This is another one of John's gurus. In the late 60s, the Maharashi achieved fame as a guru to the Beatles, the Beach Boys, actress Mia Farrow, and other celebrities. The Beatles' Bible writes, it has been claimed that Magic Alex, who remember it was Lenin's guru, saw his influence with the group waning in favour of this new man.

So according to the Independent, Martis was jealous. of the control, the Maharishi had over Lenin, and during one of their frequent walks through the woods, he asked Lenin, why? The Maharishi always seemed to have an accountant by his side. It's interesting you bring up Marnas, because Labashane's on 10 runs, so... Does that mean someone's down?

It's one for 86, yeah. Not bad. And the target for win is? One... Two hundred five. You've got it in the front row. That is a slap in the face. 118 to win from here. Okay, great.

Don't worry, guys, they could still stuff it up. Oh, 100%. So he's like, do you even notice this Maharishi guy? He's a bit money hungry, wouldn't you say, trying to sort of spread a bit of discord amongst the Beatles. Alcohol was not allowed in the Maharishi's ashram, but Alex smuggled some in anyway. Leonard and Harris left India, the others having already left,

when it was alleged that the Maharishi had made a sexual advance towards Mia Farrow. This was not supported in Farrow's autobiography What Falls Away, written in 1997, in which she wrote that she may have misinterpreted the supposed sexual advance. Allegedly, it was Magic Alex, who was the one who told Lenin and Harrison about the advance, and he may have done so to get the Beatles away from their new guru. He insisted that the Maharishi was not what he said he was, and that they should leave immediately to stop him from sending black magic down upon them. So I love that.

You can't trust this man also. I think he's a magic man. So they left India. And that was big news at the time. Lenin wrote the song on the white album, Sexy Sadie in response to the Maharishi's alleged advance on Pharaoh. Originally he wanted to title the song Maharishi, but changed the title to Seity at George Harrison's request.

And this song is considered an early example of a disc track. Yeah. Yeah. Following the return to England, Lennon's wife Cynthia went with Mardis. That's a magic alax. He's flatmate Jenny Boyd, a sister of Patty Boyd-slash-Harrison,

and the singer Donovan on holiday to Greece. Lenin said it would be a good idea if Cynthia went away whilst he recorded what would become the White album. When Cynthia returned to the Lennon's house in Weybridge, she found John having breakfast with Yoko Ono, the pair clearly having begun a relationship.

You said he was a bad dad, you forgot to mention also a bad husband. Oh. And bad person. Sorry. Wrote some great tunes, though. Paul did most of the writing. It's interesting.

Interesting. That's why London faded into obscurity after the Beatles broke up. Now, back in London, Magic Alex was appointed the head of Apple Electronics. Head, you say. He's just hit his 50. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

Travis Head 50 off 41, so, yep. Yeah, and it's good to make this impossible to edit out. When this comes out in many weeks' time. Yes. I mean, if it came out live, I think our American audience would get it. Oh, it's the shut the fuck up, Matt Alarm. It rarely has to come out, because normally I'm very wise with my words, but... So now back in London, Magic Alex was appointed.

the head of Apple Electronics. He was given his own workshop, the Boston Place in Mali Bone, in London, to develop devices that were to be patented and sold by Apple. He was paid £40 a week, plus 10% of profits of any of his inventions. These are some of the inventions

he was working on for Apple. He's moved on from... Force fields. He's obviously nailed those, so next. He's got the memory phone, which honestly is probably the most realistic. This is from The Daily Mail. He gave a tour of his prototypes to in 1968.

Just like today's smart speakers such as Amazon Echo on Google Home, the memory phone was voice activated and never required a single handset to be lifted to make a call. It could remember up to 100,000 phone numbers and ring any of them when asked, and it played musical or gave the call of the latest stock exchange figures. The memory phone was allegedly able to identify who was calling and respond to its owner's voice. I think this guy's watched the Jetsons.

You know what I mean? He's just watched a lot of sci-fi stuff and gone, yeah, great, force fields. That's so funny. Just a voice that I can just talk to. And remembering 10,000 phone numbers? Yeah. Like different variations of like nine digits. Uh-huh.

10. I'm counting zero over here, are we? But that feels like that, like, I mean, he doesn't back anything up anyway. Why not just say all numbers? It can memorize all numbers. It can memorize all numbers, variations. And why would you need 100,000 phone numbers? Well, the Beatles are pretty popular.

Yeah, okay, they were popular. Alex told the Daily Mail in 1968, it brings me up every morning from the office on its own. I tell it at night to ring me at a certain time and where I have to go. The next morning at home, the phone rings from the empty office and tells me to get up and where my first appointment is. Next up, colour-changing paint. Wait, so that's real?

Well, he said he was making it. Okay. Oh. That's an idea. Oh. So in his idea, he said, my idea is, that every night I said it and it calls me in the morning. Well, he says it's working, but I don't think anyone saw any evidence of it actually doing that.

I mean, you're the one telling the story, Dave. Is it a real thing or not? Because it sounded like it was real a moment ago. I was like, Magic Mike, that's actually sick. Magic Mike. Magic Mike, that's a great idea. That's a great idea, Mike. Okay, the problem with the phone was

there wasn't a power source on earth powerful enough. Unfortunately that was the problem. Our next up his idea was colour-changing paint. The paint, which was initially blank and looked like a thick enamel. Blank, imagine what blank is. You know, blank. Default. Plain. Regular, regular colour.

It covered a thin piece of metal with two wires coming out of it. When it was connected to a power source, if they could find one, it lit up a bright luminous green. Harrison wanted to coat his Ferrari and have it light up red when you press the brake down. No more need for brake lights. Harrison later said in the 1990s Beatles anthology book,

The back of the car would be read, but only when he stepped on the brake. The rest of the time, the whole car would be connected to the revs on the gearbox. So the car would start off quite dull, and as he shifted through the gears, it would become brighter.

You could go down the A3 and pass somebody, and it would look like a flying saucer. Honestly, the Beatles are coming across as the dumbest cunts in the world. They're believing, why they keep believing him. This guy's an idiot. What about electric paint?

Electrical paint that could be plugged into a wall and would light up a room. Ringo later said for anthology, you paint your living room, plug it in, and the walls light up. I think he's thinking of a lamp. You plug in the paint? Oh, shit, I've unplugged the paint.

He's thinking of a lamp. He's thinking of a lamp. You're thinking of a lamp. What about this one? This is also straight out of the Jetsons, the robotic housewife. Okay, he's going to fuck it. Well, this is how he makes a robotic son.

His artificial son. It all comes back. So this is from The Daily Mail again. The device was two feet tall and shaped like two huge tennis balls on top of each other. Sorry, Dave. You're giving me a boner.

The upper sphere had eyes, nose and a mouth, quote, just for fun. What? And the mouth was open. Just for fun. While the lower sphere could be affixed to a system of rubber tracks placed around the home. This would allow the robot, which would have been sold for 50 pounds, to zip around the house, cleaning, polishing and making tea.

It's like, it's on tracks. So your house is full of track. The house is full of tracks. Walking around your own house, like, oops, easy, oh, careful. And he's making it up with no way he's ever going to back it up. Fuck no. Why make tracks?

Yes. Why make this imaginary thing suck? You think you should aim higher with his fake ideas. Yes. You're just picturing a track. It's all rubber. The whole floor is tracks. That's bad.

What about wallpaper speakers? This is now. I'm listening. This is good. be actually part of the wallpaper. The wallpaper would plug into a stereo system and become a loud speaker. So he's thinking of speakers.

He's thinking of speakers. He's sitting in an empty room coming up with these ideas. And then we make the walls electric. The wallpaper, electric. The wall paint is electric, we plug it in. And you better believe he... You better believe he wears a white lab coat

everywhere. How about this one? A hovering house supported by an invisible beam. No further details. No, that one I'm on board with. Now, Matt and Jesse, you'll find out hard to believe that a lot of these inventions, unfortunately, were never completed. You see, tragically, the workshop fell victim to a mysterious fire

before any of his inventions could be properly realized, keeping them artists in the Beatles' favour for a little while longer. Oh, that's so disappointing. You're so close. I was about to finish the robotic housewife. I was about to finish every single one of those ideas at the same time. Oh, God. I could start from scratch.

I didn't even write down anything. One that the Beatles did see was the rotating guitar. This prototype was a combination rhythm guitar and a bass with a swivel neck that rotated 360 degrees. So you imagine a guitar, it strings on both sides of the neck. However, with strings on both sides, it was impossible to tune. and the proof of concept was completely unplayable. The guitar later featured briefly in the get-back documentary, you know, the one that was like six hours long

from a few years ago from Peter Jackson, where John and Lennon playfully mock it. John and Lennon do, bloody hell. Sorry, John. And George. Captain speaks perfectly over here. Can barely get his own fucking name out most of the time. John and Lennon.

Felt pretty good to get one back. Now, if you thought he was done changing the music game with a rotating guitar, you'd be wrong. Magic Alex had often said that the Abbey Road studio was, quote, no good. Much to producer George Martin's annoyance. George Martin later said, the trouble was that Alex was always coming to the studios to see what we were doing and to learn from it, whilst at the same time saying, these people are so out of date. But I found it very difficult to chuck him out because the boys liked him so much. Since it was very obvious that I didn't, a minor schism developed.

Magic Alex boasted that he could build a much better studio with a 72-track tape machine. Instead of the... He just thinks of the biggest number he can. What, you got a four-track? Oh, they're like, oh. 72! So, that's more than this piece of shit.

So, you're right, instead of the... So, Abby Road, at the time, only had a four-track. which was being updated to the cutting edge eight track. But he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can do 72 separate tracks. Man, he would have scoffed so hard at that eight tracks. I got excited for a second because I thought that was the hunk. But, um, no.

But honestly, yeah, yeah. We've got our maths guru and the hunk. I love this crowd. Brains and Bruhn. So they got a four track. They're updating to a cutting edge eight track. You know, it's Abby Rhodes, two years. It's one of the best in the whole world.

Yeah. And he's like, this is shit. And then he's also going, how does that work? What's that? What's a guitar? Okay. And the lesson he gets out of everything is it looks like that plugs in. Okay.

Okay, I'm going to use that. And how do you power that? Electricity. Okay. Writing that down. Yeah, writing that down. Electricity. So he was given the job of designing the new Apple studio

in the basement of Apple headquarters on Savile Row. level row. Imagine Alex gave the Beatles regular reports of his progress, but when they required the new studio in January 1969 during the Get Back project, nice, absolutely. During the Get Back project that later became Let It Be, they discovered an unusable studio. No 72 track tape deck. What? He had reduced it to 16. Okay. Which is still a lot more than they were going to have. There was no soundproofing. Who needs it? No talkback intercom system between the studio and the unconnected control room.

That's okay. Get your steps up. Go and have a chat to each other. Beautiful. In fact, nothing was connected to the control room. So nothing from the recording could reach the mixing desk. So it could have been 700 tracks. It's not recording.

I honestly don't blame this guy. They've been believing in his bullshit for what, four years now? Five years. And they haven't seen a single invention pulled off yet. And they're still following him. It's crazy. Yeah. You're right.

They are coming across this. They are coming across the most gullible. Yeah, but then John's being like, look at this box, it lights up. We've hit our quota, so they're just gullible. Sensoring myself there. I don't know what the man is. Oh, self-sensoring yourself? Yeah.

Oh, okay. John and Lenin. Trying to have some fun. So they've come in, they've been like, what's this? They tried a session using his setup, but it was all. hum and fuzz and the band just walked out. George Harrison later recalled, he didn't do anything except he did make a toilet with a radio in it or something.

Literally he would have dropped it right into the bowl. Yeah, he's like duct tape it to the side. Try not to piss on that bit. George and Harrison continues. When we finally got him to make a recording studio, we walked in and it was chaos. It was the biggest disaster of all time. Whoa. Okay.

Big call. I reckon. World War II ended like less than two decades earlier. Yeah. This is way worse. He was walking around with a white coat on like some sort of chemist, but he didn't have a clue what he was doing. It was a 16-track system and he had 16 little speakers all around the walls,

but you only need two speakers for stereo sound. It was awful. The whole thing was a disaster and had to be ripped out. Sorry Dave, I know people at home will be sharing their iPods. It was a little over two decades earlier that World War II ended. The maths guy was fuming. I just, I don't care. Fuming.

Could you hear the scoffing? That's a Perth fuming. People at home like, oh, didn't realize the decades had 12 years in them, two of those. Fucking hell. So Magic Galaxy's system was scrambling. and according to Jeff Emrick, the mixing desk was sold as scrap to a secondhand electronics shop on London's Edgeware Road for five pounds. It's a good deal. Yeah, that's a really good deal.

Producer George Martin had to end up building a makeshift recording studio with borrowed equipment. Apple Electronics was closed in 1969 and Magic Alex left the company. It was later estimated that his ideas and projects had cost the Beatles at least 30. 300,000 pounds, which in 2023 was equivalent to 6.5 million pounds. So like 13 million Aussie dollars. He did nothing in that time. He did nothing. It's so funny that Yoko wears so much of the breakup blame.

I think Magic Alex is the guy. The strain I would have put on a relationship? Bloody hell. Bloody hell. Fah. Sure. Sure. Come on.

Come on. Do you remember what Matt was doing? This might not have been on pod, but he was doing Michael Jackson's sounds. And then one of them, he just went, hoi. Ho! Ho! Have you heard that? Was that on the pod?

No. That was just for us. You were doing a bit of he-hee-hee. And then he went, Hoi. Well, in the scenario, he was walking, he was like, caught through glass, broken glass. He knew you, moonwalking through glass. He was, he-ah, oh.

God, he really got a gash. So back to Beatles Bible again It later emerged that every British patent Martis had applied for on Apple's behalf Was turned down on the grounds of unoriginality And that the designs that did reach production Were variants of already existing products Oops

So they never made any money out of it So the force fields already existed That's right None of the things you've mentioned No I've suggested his most atlantic ideas But other things apparently were Like you know A toilet radio that we all have

Right. How else will I drown out my piss? Oh, that's not bad. Yeah. Just really, but then like, then every time you go to the bathroom, people could hear music blasts, they're like, well, they're shitting.

What's the country where the splash zone is so huge in the toilet? It's America. Yeah. And it's just like, it's all water. You can't miss the splash. You know, when you, well, you probably can't, but you target that sort of flat bit at the back and you can do a pretty son, piss.

In America, not possible if the country I'm thinking of is correct. Something I'm going to bring up with Trump when I meet him. I assume that's pretty easy to do. Trump, I've got some ideas. I feel like he'd go for it. He's some version of magic mine. No, he would... He definitely has.

He has a magic galaxy. Oh, yeah. He's got multiple gurus. Yes. Yes. And they're all awful. Magic Alex got some great ideas Some of the greatest ideas

No For the people at home He started doing a Trump-style dance On the front row And no one else enjoyed it Maybe because you couldn't see it Do you need to stand up and do it? Oh

I've never tried it before But I assume it's sort of like this Yeah The same crowd that booed Basil Zemplis We're finding out where you stand in here. Basil is kind of Australia's Trump, isn't he? Between Basil and... Between Basil and Clam, I reckon. Basil across Clam. What do you get?

You get Trump. So after the Beatles, in the 1970s, Magic Alex took the logical next step and changed his focus to the security and anti-terrorism industries. Perfect. Specifically, the Bulletproof Car game. Yes, I would trust him to make my bulletproof car.

As did the Sultan of Oman. I think he's going to paint it with bulletproof paint. Bulletproof... That you can plug in. Yeah, that's the problem. It works only if it's plugged in, so you can't... You need a really long lead if you got on a big drive. The Sultan of Oman ordered six Mercedes-450 limousines in 1977,

but quickly discovered that they were not as safe as he had been led to believe. Oh, you find that out. the hard way, don't you? Fortunately, his ex-SAS bodyguards tested one of the cars in the desert in July 1977 by firing guns at it. But a bullet hit an emergency air cylinder

which caused the fuel tank to explode destroying the entire car. The entire bulletproof car. The remaining cars were immediately sent back with demands for a refund. King Hussein of Jordan had a fleet of cars that Alex customised.

but also carried out a safety test on them with live ammunition in November 1977. One eyewitness reported that the cars could be more life-threatening than ordinary vehicles. That's so funny. That's good. As bullets easily pierced the armour plating and the thick armoured glass broke into jagged splinters when struck. I invented the death car. So then he sort of disappears in history for a little bit. sadly, all good things must come to an end.

And magic, I know, I'm so sorry. Magic Alex died in Athens on the 13th of January, 2017, at the age of 74. And honestly, I couldn't have done this report before he died because he... This is going to blow your mind. Travis Head is on 74. That's spooky. Do you want to start that entire sentence again so we can edit it? All right, everyone.

Everyone, everyone be quiet. It might have been Connor, but it's not his fucking place. Love you, Connor. He was... Sorry, Connor. He was 74. And honestly, I couldn't have done this report before he died because he was quite litigious over the years,

suing multiple newspapers and denying that he tried to invent a lot of things attributed to him. In 2008, Alex won the right to sue the New York Times in England in relation to an online article that said he was a charlatan. But after the New York Times produced a witness, Sir Harold Evans, who gave evidence supporting the journalistic responsibility of the paper, Mardis said he would not pursue the case any further. On the condition that the paper would publicly explain that by labelling him as a charlatan,

it did not mean to imply he was a con man. So, on the 4th of March 2010, the New York Times published an editor's update to the 2008 article saying, while expressing skepticism about his work as an inventor during that period, the article did not accuse Mr. Mardis of engaging. in fraudulent dealings or criminality. The Times reporting on those events was attributed to Paul McCartney and based on widely published accounts from books and magazines, basically being like, yeah, but everyone else said you did this.

Yeah, yeah. And that's it, that's a report on Magic Galaxy, everyone. Get up for Dave Warnocky, everybody. Thanks so much. Good stuff. It made me think that we need a guru. Oh, yeah. Do you think we need a guru?

Of course. I feel like you got one right here, hiding in plain sight. I could come up with ideas. I thought you were talking about the hunk. I'd go with the hunk. I don't know. I think the hunk could probably follow through. I don't know.

Why would that have got that result? Did they think... I'll explain it to you later. So, all right. I think I meant like he... Matthew, I'll explain it to you later. So, Matt, if you were to be our guru, if you could think of...

Clear your mind. Clear your mind. Clear your mind. All right, one invention now go. Go. A hat that plugs in. And it tans you in a healthy way and you can't get cancer from it. And while it tans you it also sings a nice song.

The hat sings. Hat's got a mouth for fun. It's a million dollar idea, well done. He is very good. Well done. All right, I'll let you have one quick final score cricket score update before we wrap this up. How are we doing out there? Okay, so four has been hit.

Heads now on 84. It's one for 127, 78 to win. I imagine it'll be stumps today. So any ticket holders for tomorrow? I reckon you'll get a session in. But normally they'll often refund your tickets on those sort of days as well, weren't they? Or at least...

You reckon it's over tonight? I don't understand a word any of you are saying. I'm hearing. numbers and I don't care. Surely Zempless or someone with power will step in and say the Perth economy needs day three.

Like half of England's here. What are they going to be doing tomorrow? The rub and tugs are going to be overflowing. Don't look at me when you say rub and tug. We've had this conversation. Any of the English in? Any of the English in? Yeah. Why would they be here?

I think they're two kinds of English. think they all care about cricket. Uh-huh. So you think they came to Perth for this? Well, you know what? People come to Perth to escape awful crimes from the countries they're from. But mainly in the South Africans,

but, alright. Dave, you want me to keep talking off? Well, we've had some fun here today, Perth. Thank you so much for coming out. Can I... We really appreciate it. We've got to get everyone to get at... I know we're doing a second show after this, I think to, I know some of you are probably sticking out for the second show. We appreciate that, but we've got to clear the room to get you back in the room.

I know that's an annoying process, but we'll have to do that. But on the way out, we will be selling some of our beautiful merchandise. Yes. What have we got, Jess? We've got tote bags, posters, pins, magnets, stickers. That's, that is it. And you can buy them all together as one package. And a show bag.

A little show bag for a discounted price. Yep. And if you don't like standing in a queue, you can watch the end of the first test on a big screen downstairs, I'm pretty sure. But you're not... No one here gives a fuck about the cricket. You would be there. So I'll probably stop talking about it.

Oh. The brains. The maths man. The brains and the heart. No wonder Tin Man and the scarecrow are going begging. This guy's got two of each. We can two in cinemas now.

All right, we got it again. Thank you so much. Give us a round of applause coming out. Thank you so much. To Oasis Comedy for having us. Oh, one more thing. Sorry, we will wrap up probably. Matt and I are doing the stand-up show here tonight at Oasis at the Comedy Club.

It's at 8 o'clock. You can get half-priced tickets if you say you come from Dugo on, or I think the code is officially half-priced. Yeah, if you buy them online, the code's half-priced. Or do it at the door. That's right. MC'd buy the great Xavier Michaelity. It should be a great night.

But anyway, thank you so much. Give yourselves a round of horse coming out. Thank you to Awaiters' Comedy Club. We had John Wing on sound. Thank you so much. Pete Sharkey, running the show. Thank you, Pete Sharkey. What a legend.

We'll see you next time, Perth. Good night. Goodbye. And we're back in the room. Wow. That was so fun. It's so fun to learn that John Lennon is real, or like, was, I should say.

I don't know if there's a spoiler there, but was very silly, gullible, naive. Yeah. Imagine. Imagine that. But now, what are we going to do? We've got a thanks for our great Patreon supporters. Without these people, I'll tell you this, this show doesn't exist.

That's right. It's kept us going for now, you know, up into the 530 plus episodes. Crazy. As well as 300 plus bonus episodes, it blows the mind. The mind boggles. So this section of the show we spent a little bit of time thanking our great supporters. And if you want to be one of those great supporters, sign up at patreon.com slash do go on pod. And you get all sorts of extras including ad-free feed.

You get the video episodes now. This one wasn't recorded, but the ones that we do in studio, you get to see the video feed. And you also get to vote on topics. You get access to the Facebook group, which is the nicest corner of the internet. All sorts of things and more. And yeah, so we spend a bit of time now, thank you these people. The first thing we like to do is for the people on the Sydney-Shaunberg level of our Patreon, we do a segment called Fact Quote or Question, which actually I think has a jingle.

Go something like this. Fact quote or questions. He always remembers the ding. And she always remembers the sing. And the way this one works is our patrons on the Sydney-Shanberg level. We get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question. Or a bragger or a suggestion or really. whatever they like.

I'm reading two of them out today. They also get to give themselves a title, I should say. The first one. And this is a first timer as well in the fact quota questions section. Oh, welcome. Welcome in. And what a name. Kayla Dice.

Ooh. Roll the Kayla. And Kayla's title is fellow woman with multiple chronic illnesses. Yes. List them. Let's go one for one. Let's go, Queen. And isn't it great when they have competing comorbidities?

Woo! Woo! Yes! Yeah, is that like a triple world score? Yeah. Yeah. And Kayla get to give herself a title, which is, I've already said it. Yeah.

And... I just riffed on it. And that reset my brain somewhere. So shrill. Start again. I'm trapped in an infinite loop here. So, Kaylee. I was offering a brag.

Maybe it is going to be listing the... List them. No, I mean, obviously, don't have to. That's your medical history and your privacy. Kayla writes, hi, I recently joined the Patreon after a year of DoGo on becoming my favorite podcast. When I first got into the podcast, I was in a very tight place. So I had to listen to everyone's favorite section of the show with envy.

But now things in life are going much better and I want to support my favorite shows and jumped in at the Sydney-Shaunberg level so I could join Fat Quote or Question. That's so nice. That's awesome. I have a brag. My boyfriend and I are making a tabletop RPG. And on the day I'm sending this in, we've just passed our funding goal on Backer Kit. It's a game about London mice building tiny robots out of trash called Mechritter.

Jess, her mouth is a gay. That sounds so cute. I hope to see you all whenever you're next back in the UK and I can hopefully make it along to my first ever do-go on live show. Amazing, that's so exciting. So it's spelled, if anyone wants to look it up, M-E-C-H-R-I-T-E-R-M-C-R-T-E-R. Very cute. It is so cute.

Welcome to the club, Kayla. And yeah, we... With her name is Dice, too. Oh, my gosh, nominative to terms that nominous. That's wild. I think that's fantastic. And also, congratulations on your multiple chronic illnesses. Everything is, you know...

It's a joy. She's rolling sixes. Oh, yeah. Now, thank you, Kayla. And it's another first time in Georgie. And Georgie's got the title, Edinburgh Pub Recommender. Okay. Oh, hello.

This, uh, I wonder if this is out of date because, I mean, out of date as in, how long as it was sent in a while ago. Oh, no. Anyway. We're going to find that's a pub from the 18th century or something. No, I was just thinking, was I there last year? I thought maybe it was going to be a recommendation for me. Anyway. It's all about him.

Yes. The main character. Now, Georgie writes, hey guys, Georgie from Glasgow here. My brag is after listening to you and other Aussie podcast for years. My girlfriend and I are finally making the trip over for the comedy festival in 2026. Woo! Asking for us for recommendations. I get it now.

We've already bought tickets to the two Duguay shows we're in Oz four and are planning on going to the St. Kilda game the day before your first show. It's going to be a big year for the Saints. You mark my words. Cut this out, clip it and play it on repeat after our big success of the year. I don't know. The big success could be just, you know, having fun. Could be. Making friends. Yeah. Making finals. Now, Georgie says, if I can... Getting a goal. If I could also sneak in a question as well as a brag. Do you have any recommendations to have the most authentic Melbourne experience or just cool places to go?

Okay. If you want to have the most authentic Melbourne experience, what you're going to do is you're going to find yourself in a light and way, okay? Us Melbourneians, we don't drink coffee, we don't have no brunch unless it's in a line way, okay? I'll also say this. It's probably not in the CBD. Yeah, no, absolutely not. It's probably in a suburb, you know, well, Annie, pick a suburb and you'll find some nice coffee. My hot tips for places to go have a drink.

Bodrigi, friends of the show in Collingwood. It's a really cool brewery. Also, co-conspirators, which is quite local to our podcast studio here in Brunswick. And they do a great comedy night. And also catfish, which is another great craft beer place. I mean, these are all in a vaguely similar area. That's Fitzroy. Which is a cool area.

And very accessible from the city. Cool, right near the museum, too. You can actually walk it if you want to. Yeah, right across from the museum. Carlton, Fitzroy, those sort of spots that are very close. And they have rotating taps and they have a weekly comedy room on Tuesday nights. But you're going to be here for a comedy festival, so you won't need such a tip. But others traveling here might be.

I only had those fresh because someone asked me the other day where they should go for a beer, and that were the three that came to mind. Anyway, thank you so much Georgie and Kayla. Georgie, say hi when you're over and Kayla will say hi when we're over. The next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other great supporters. Jess normally comes up with a game. Maybe a weird. I've started doing this baby for the last three years.

I'll say Jess comes up with a game and then I suggest a game. Yeah. What do you reckon? You love to raise women up. Raise women up. So what did you think? I was thinking, you know, like a weird invention. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, a stupid magic galaxy invention. Yeah, that's good. You can come up with their invention. I'm going to give them a, because like magic Alex, I'm going to give them a word. Okay. What kind of word is that, Dave? Dave, you read out the name and place? What, like a descriptor?

Yeah. I'm going to give them a descriptor. Okay. So, yeah, I'll read out name and place. Jess will give the, you know, script. I'm just going to freeball it. Like a wacky invention that they are trying to get off the ground with the help of the Beatles. I'm going to see if there's a generator.

Descriptive word generator. Would you believe? There is. I think I would believe that. Random adjectives. Great. Here we go, Dave. Yeah, actually, this fucking rules.

Okay, great, go. Okay, from Northcott here in Victoria. Hello, and thank you to Julia. Outrageous Julia. That's good. Invented an electric egg. Don't ask questions. Northcgood Social Club, another great spot for a drink.

Northcuit in general. Yeah, and good stuff. I love music too. From a location that is unknown to us, but probably deep within the fortress of the moles right now. Thank you to Katie Megan or Katie Megan. sorry, dreary Katie. A fluoro handbag. Yeah, changes colour.

Love it. He was good with that. That's really good. From a location that's also unknown to us, or probably next to Katie in the Fortress, thank you to Nathan. Harkema. Charming Nathan. Vibrating drill.

It doesn't actually touch it. It just like, it sends out vibrations and that creates holes. Wow. Holes? Holes. It's a drill. Yeah, but could you put it on a lower setting? Maybe not create a hole, but...

Yeah. But maybe feel whole. Yeah. From Perth, E&W. Hello and thank you to Melanie Groth. Heartbreaking Meldy. Heartbreaking Mel. It's a fixed speed teleprompter.

Perfect. Fix speed. Yeah. It's stuck on faster. But it helps. It goes at the speed that you should be talking. Oh, okay. It doesn't pander.

That's excellent. From Bothel. Bothel, which I would have bet money is in the UK, but it's in W.A. It's so fair. No, it's in Washington, USA. Balthel. Bothel. Bothel.

Bothel. Bothel. Oh, Bothel. No, that's American. Bother. From Bother. It's a normal ghost. Okay.

Good luck. Making that something. Ratty normal ghost. Ratty or bratti? Ratty. Ratty. He did make it something. Ratty normal ghosts.

A hypodermic... I don't know what that means. Don't worry about it. A hypodermic syringe. What is there? Yep. He's done it again. He's done it again.

Well, Madgi-I-Hil, he was fake. Remember, at the end they were like... Like another kooky invention. Remember most of the things they found that he tried to invent a lot of them already existed. Yeah. I don't. I don't. So I don't know what it is, but it's not. Obviously a phrase I've heard.

What does that mean? It's a hypodemic needle, is what that means. Oh, okay. But he, oh, uh, electric. Oh, that's great. Perfect. Add power to it. Yeah, yeah.

That's what you want. Needles with power. Yeah. Tim Allen style. Oh? The risk of electric. Electrician. What the fuck?

Electrocution? Electricution. Thank you so much. Or elocution. Yeah, you're sorry. I don't think you quite nailed either. I don't have very good. elocution from new norfolk fuck the old norfolk in tasmania it's ian ludwig imaginary ian

imagine that's really good that's really good and he invented uh vibrating a vibrating everything is vibrating it needs to be that's a second vibrating thing isn't it hypodermic means vibrating does it really no hi so it's a vibrating mouthguard vibrating mouth that's awesome because often people People like wear them because... To stop them grond. Yeah, grinding. Your partner might be hearing that annoying noise, but don't worry.

Now they're just hearing... But it's consistent. Yeah, it'd be like a white noise. It doesn't pan. It's stuck on Monsford. From Goulburn in New South Wales. Hello and thank you to Kirilley Luxford. This one's brutal.

Nondescript Kirilley. Whoa. You can pull it off with a cool name like Kirillie. I agree. Kirillie is a sick name. I worked with a Kirillie Lachshund. back in the day when I worked at a bookstore, cool person. This might be my first ever Cureli.

I love it. It's nice. It's a great name. It's really pretty. I've seen Cura Billy House. Sure. But that's a different thing. It's a beautiful name for a house.

Boy, girl, or house. Invented a jugger margarita that never runs out. A jugger margarita that never runs out. A jugger margarita that never mad down. Oh, we've already got the ad. A jugger margarita that never write that. The Beatles would be like, how many million do you want? Yeah.

Love it, Kiralee. Now, Margs on you. Next up from Minneapolis, Minnesota in the United States. It's Vanessa. Tender Vanessa. Tender Vanessa invented a D, an electric de-fruster. Absolutely destroys ice. Destroyes ice.

It does, yeah. Which, because it's very snowy there. So it makes sense that you'd absolutely, like, pulver ice is gone. Uh-huh. Instantly, you got a machine, you flick a button, boom. Ice gone. Ice gone. Out.

Finally, from Colorado Springs in Colorado. Hello and thank you to Kirsten Garbers. Popular Kirsten. Oh, that's so good. Kirsten Garbers has a wearable, a wearable full-body hat. So like a coat. Initially, I was going to say a wearable hat. And I realized I'm like, I'll need, this needs more.

Full-body hat. It's a full-body hat. So it's like a Legion air's hat, but the flap goes all the way down. I kind of like that. And does it still have the bit on the bat where you can tighten it? Yeah, yeah. One size fits all. But for your body.

Full body flap. Yeah, I'm into that. It's a back flap. It's like a Cape Hat. Yeah. Good luck getting sunburnt now, Kirsten. Yeah, good luck. Thank you so much to Kirsten, Vanessa Kierli.

Ian, normal Melanie, Nathan, Katie and Julia. You're all fabulous. The next thing, second last thing, penultimate thing we need to. do is welcome some people into the triptage club. Now, the triptage club is for those people who have supported us for three straight years on the shoutout level or above. These people, I've got to tell you, they're my kind of people. They're the best.

Yep. These are the best of the best. And also, everyone who listens is as well. And, Dave, how does this work? What's going on? This is our clubhouse. Our Hall of Fame for people that have been supporting the show for nine, sorry, for three consecutive years, they've been on the shadow level. We've already shouted them out.

We've already given them a nickname of something a couple of years ago. But now, you get to run in to this Hall of Fame, this Clubhouse. Your name goes up on the wall. And, of course, which year you want. You run inside. Yep. There's games. There's magic.

Yes. Magic galaxy. There's food. There's drink. There's places to hang out, places to relax. And once you're in you can never leave. but why would you want to? Because we've got everything.

All your needs fulfilled. Your family, they're not here. Don't worry about them. Well, they have to support the show for three consecutive years and then they can join you here in the afterlife. Yeah. It's so good. So I'm on the door.

Yep. Theater of the Mind. I'm going to read out six names. Jess, did you come up with a drink? You're behind the bar? Yeah, well, so what I've done is it's less about the drinks. It's more about the drink wear. So I've actually got invisible glasses.

Oh, that's really cool. They are completely see-through. That's really great. Really cool. And I've also, the oven is still, like, way too hot, but I have covered it in many, many LED lights. Oh, that's really cool. So it looks sick.

That looks fantastic. Yeah, it's really cool. You've really learnt from the Magic Man. But it's far too hot still. So those lights are melting. Yeah, okay. John would still love it. That's exciting.

You have to keep John away. They try and touch it. John thinks you'll be the bees and ease. Now, Dave, you book a ban for the after party? Yes. You're never going to believe who I've got this one. week. Who is it's absolutely incredible.

I've got a rotating group of Beatles cover bands. Okay. But they are all going to play the one song. Right. One song, new band comes on and plays the same song. And that is in tribute to the great man, Magic Alex. I don't think I mentioned this in the episode because he ran out of time. This is the episode, Dave.

But in the, the, uh, the report in Perth? This is the episode. Oh my God. Perth, are you still there? They haven't laughed at a long time. Yeah. Um, because the song's called, What's the New Mary Jane? which was a, it's a white album offcut that later got released on an anthology.

It's so funny. If the songs that didn't make the white album, that's pretty brutal. There's some real nonsense on there. Yeah. Fantastic nonsense. It's like this is double, double. So there's so many songs on there. In a 1969 interview, Nice, with NME,

John Lennon credited friend and head of Apple Electronics Magic Alex with writing half of the song. Whoa. Though this credit was later revoked without explanation. So he never got his proper props. Okay. Sure. But now we're going to hear that song over and over for the next couple of hours. Looking forward to that.

Yep. Now, so we got six in. Dave, he's the emcee of the night. He'll really hype you up. I'll read out your name. Jog on in. Dave's on stage, hymn up with some wheat word play, which is fantastic that we all love. Jess is hopping up, Dave.

Are we ready? Yep. Welcome in to the Triptitch Club, you goddamn legend from Ashmore, Queensland. It's Damien Miller. Oh, Miller. No filler. All right. And from Showham in Illinois.

Welcome in, Omer. Omer. Omer. Omer. O'O-M-A-Herong. O'HR. Oh, yeah, big time. Oh, that's great.

That's good. Shereef don't like it. No. That's actually pretty good. Because Omar Sharif was an actor. From Manateek. I'll leave it to you, Dave. From Manitik.

Ontario in Canada, welcome in. Oh my God. Enrique Garcia. On Freke! Yeah! That is up there with one of the best names I've ever heard. I thought Hugo Garcia, the young Saints player, has got a great neighbor. Enrique, level above.

Very good. From Stroud in Ontario, Canada, and I've asked her about this. It's Marissa Stroud. Full coincidence. Really? Bought the place or moved into the place? place without realizing that the local area was... Was called Stroud.

Incredible. That's awesome. Why do I want to yell? Stroud! Anyway, Marissa, more like Marissa proud. Yeah. We're proud of you, Marissa. It makes me proud.

You aren't make me proud. From Columbus and God's country itself, Ohio. It's Dawn Stanley. Dawn. I'm a fan of you. I can't believe how great all of these names are. And finally, from Alexandria. I thought that was way better than I.

And you were both like... I thought that was fantastic. Thank you. From Alexandria in New South Wales here in Australia. Finally, it's Craig Ryan. Craig Ryan. With Adam, I'll be crying. Woo.

Welcome into the club. Make yourselves at home. Craig, Dawn, Marissa, Henrike, Omer and Damien. And the last thing we need to do, Dave alluded to it before, the Triple Triptage Club. Yes. We've got one inductee this week who's been in the club. For now nine straight years, well, being in the Triptage Club for six straight years, and is now getting to open that golden door. Oh, my gosh.

And walk in to the Triple Tripitj Club. One of the first 12. Amazing. And we, this Martin Drabic Hampshire, a great patron of ours, suggested we allocate each inducting of the Triple Tripitage Club an episode from the archives. And they're sort of the caretaker of that episode. Um, now, Dave, is there anything else we need to do? You, you say, you give him a salute and say something. Yeah, and Jess gives them a kiss.

That's right. Am I remembering that, right? Yep. Yep. Uh, so, and I then tell them what episode they get to be the custodian of. All right. Um, from, uh, botany in New South Wales up there in Sydney town. Welcome into the triptitch, triple triptage club, Jai,

Smith, you give me the strength to continue. Salute. And here I'm handing you an envelope that says the episode you are now the custodian of McDonald's. Oh, wow. You're the custodian of McDonald's. Yeah. Ray Kroc and all the... And the rest.

And the rest of the McDonald's brothers. I'll never forget their name. Grimmus. Grimmis. Hamburgler. Uh-huh. And the rest. Birdie.

Thank you so much, Joy. Met Jai on a few occasions, had a few beers with Joy after shows in Sydney. Fantastic fella. I reckon we met Jai the first time we ever came to Sydney, which is awesome. What a gun. Welcome in. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Oh, wow.

This is the first thing we've recorded in the year 2026, even though we've released quite a few episodes. That's not even true. We've done live ones in New Zealand. Anyway. Don't lie to them, Matt. Okay, I j-o later that out. Jess, anything we need to tell people before we go? That we love them, that if you want to suggest a topic,

there's a link in the show notes for you to do so. And you can also do that on our website, which is do-go-onpod.com. You can find us on social media at do-go-on or do-go-on podcast on TikTok. D-dub, bootless baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode, and that is a guarantee from me. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. He's trying something new.

I don't know if we like it. We love it. Let me know. Let me know. Until then, goodbye. Bye. That's a guarantee for me. I'll probably like have an accident now or something.

Yeah, exactly. Fuck. Don't guarantee. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, Oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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