Do Go On - 540 - The Ni'ihau Incident

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

After Japan's 1941 attack on Pearl Harbour, Japanese Pilot Shigenori Nishikaichi needed a place to conduct an emergency landing. He had been told that the nearby Hawaiian island of Ni'ihau was uninhabited, but that intel was wrong. People did live there, and what's more - the island known as "The Forbidden Isle" has a very interesting history...This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07:20 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-hawaii-rent-free-forbidden-island-strict-rules-niihau-robinson-2025-8https://www.historynet.com/niihau-incident/https://www.messynessychic.com/2021/08/25/hawaiis-forbidden-island-and-the-real-life-swiss-family-robinson-who-controls-it/https://prologue.blogs.archives.gov/2018/12/06/remembering-pearl-harbor-the-niihau-incident/https://www.loc.gov/classroom-materials/immigration/japanese/hawaii-life-in-a-plantation-society/https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/japanese-american-incarcerationhttps://www.britannica.com/place/Niihauhttps://prologue.blogs.archives.gov/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2018/11/OF-10b-2054.pdf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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And welcome to another episode of Dugo On. My name is Dave Wornikey and as always. always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello, how are you doing? Bloody good to see you. Oh, thank you put it there, pal. Thank you very much. We're all shaking hands.

We're doing a bit of a rigid ditch. Rigididge. Fist bump. Fis bump. Air bump. Good to air. Well, I mean, in this world, people don't know. Maybe we're sitting right on top of each other.

They don't know who we're sitting at either end of a long, stately desk. Yeah, you guys are like my really wealthy but miserable in your marriage, dads. Yes. And I'm stuck in the middle. of the really long dining table, like, oh, I wish we could just get along. Dining table is what I meant. I don't know why I said desk. There's a dining table.

You know, it's the same scene. Only the two dads are either side of a long desk. Yeah. Both with a typewriter. Yeah, they're just doing their work. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually really nice.

It's quite nice. They love to just, they do their own thing, but in the same space. Yeah, exactly. They can still see each other. They can still, every now and then show a loving glance. Yes. Check in. Yeah.

I'm going to go grab a cup of tea. Would you like one? Stuff like that. Yeah. I'm so close to being done with the Pitsky report. Uh-huh. Oh, that's great to hear. It's been really troubling you stuff like that.

It really has. And I'm in the middle going, God, I wish I'd just get along. And we've probably got a butler. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd just say Jeeves will tuck you in. Right along.

Little girl, forget your name. They love each other. They don't love me. No. Because you keep trying to create drama. There's trouble. There's no trouble. We just like to work.

These Pitsky reports are on themselves. Oh, my dad's. Hey, Jess, what is this show that we're doing right now? Can you remind me in the audience? This show is like a family, a slightly dysfunctional one. So you keep saying. We all love each other. It's fine.

We're fine. Well, one of the three of us, research is a topic, usually suggested to us by our fabulous listeners. They go away, they research it. They live in it. They bask in it. And they bring it back to the other two. Tell us all about it with about a year-nine.

maybe year 10 level report. That's right. It's Dave's turn this week. So you're Matt's usually trying to report on Pitsky. We're like, we've heard it, mate. We've heard it. Stop right at the Pitsky report. It's Dave's turn this week and we always get on to the topic with a question.

David, do you have a question? Yes, I do. That question is on the 21st of August, 1959. What became the 50th state of the United States of America? Missouri, Hawaii. Which one you like? Hawaii. It is Hawaii.

Which one was Missouri? Because that's the one that came in later. Is that the one that came in? I think it came in as a slave state at the same time as one of the northern states came in as a free state. Here we go. I'm detecting a tone of Bill Bryson here. Is this, will that be correct?

No, it was a question of trivia, I think I did like a few days ago. You see how much of that info? It stays in. Yeah. Some of it. At your age, they say doing those kind of puzzles and things is really good for you. Yeah. I read that in a trivia thing. Something like that. Oh, okay. I'm looking out a list of U.S. States in order of statehood.

Hawaii 50, Alaska, 49. Arizona, 48. We've got to keep going quite a bit back. What were you saying? Missouri. Of course. 24. Who did it come in with? It's so fun if it's just a full nonsense fact. Yeah. It was a dream I was having. Yeah. I kept getting the answers right. But it turned out, yeah, there was all nonsense that I'd made up in my brain. And you're still getting it wrong. No, no, I was nailing.

Oh, okay, that's good. Well, yeah, 80%. Yeah, that's nailing it. Yeah, it just says admitted 1821. Maine was 1820 and Arkansas 1836. Okay, so there was a nonsense fact. You don't have to Google it to now in 20 minutes time, say, Nebraska is what I was thinking of.

Yeah, or AJ can edit that out and then it will not be annoyed. Because I fear for the annoyed, the annoyed, the listeners who are the annoyed. I'll speak for them. They don't care. There's a show that keeps getting advertised on, I think it's an SBS on demand called The Gone. I'm like, I'm never watching a show called The Gone. It could be really good.

That name. The Gone. I don't know what it is about it, but it just feels like they've run out of names. The Gone, yeah. Let me guess. one of those ones where people wake up and, oh, a bunch of the people at you, you know what, are gone. And we refer to them as the gone. I guess so, I know.

Where's mum? She's the gone. She's one of the gone. All right, well, you can take off over there because we are... We'll see you in half now. Yeah, see you half an hour. The answer is Hawaii. Today we are talking about an event that happened in Hawaii before they became a state known to history as the Nihihau incident.

Oh. This one's been suggested. by Henry Will Hoyt or Wilhoi from Portland in Oregon, both directly to the hat and on Patreon because we're doing a new thing where people on the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe Memorial, rest in peace package get to directly suggest topics, and then we get all of Patreon to vote for them. So it's a way to make your topic stand out. And Henry really did that with a great pitch, and it narrowly won the vote, because there were some really good pitches from other Patreon people. but Henry's topic on the Nehihau incident one, Matt's put his hand up.

I'm just relieved to see that it is a real thing. The Missouri compromised of 1820. Missouri was admitted to the Union as a slave state while Maine, which was part of Massachusetts, was admitted as a free state to maintain the balance of power in the Senate. Gotcha. I rest my case, Your Honor. There you go. And the Pisckey file is.

Can we go play catch now, Dad? Jess, I think of the three of us, you've been to Hawaii. Yeah. Matt, no Hawaii? No Hawaii. No, but I've watched a Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii. Maybe the sit, was it the Brady Bunch movie two? Probably, yeah.

That feels vaguely, yeah. So I'm just going to have to Google. Do they call it the Brady Bunch movie two? Probably not. That's such a good title. You had a lovely time in Hawaii, didn't you? A beautiful time. A beautiful place.

You did a bit of vomiting in the water? I did. That helped me see sea turtles. Oh, they ate the chum. They love the chum. That's so gross. But then the next day I just went swimming at the beach and swam a bit further out and saw turtles. I was like, well, I paid quite a lot to go snorkely yesterday and I threw up everywhere.

I imagine that seeing your own ones on your own little swim would have been more satisfied. Yeah, it was very cool. And less vomiting. Yeah, you would have been like, I am from the same country as Steve Ewan. Look at me go. Look at me go. The animals, they respect me. Yeah.

I'm one with them. They know I have sad. And then you see a Stingray rear up. And I go, oh no. Oh no. I'm not one of those. Now, our story today takes place in Hawaii and archipelago of eight major volcanic islands, the seventh largest of which is Nihihau.

Now, I had to trust our man Julian who pronounces words on YouTube. And I've often wondered how he does so many words. He's got hundreds of thousands. So I have discovered his secret because this is his pronunciation for this word. Sorry, here it is. is pronounced as locally nihiau ni'i how

sorry ni'i how so you have to break up the e sound right is it you mean he doesn't do second takes he does not do second takes and then Jesse you want to put the

the headphones back on there because I've got a little bit more from this video because there's obviously a thing where him and other people that pronounce words on YouTube but they'll have to try and get to a minute or something for maybe an ad purpose or something

so there's always a bit of preamble. Oh, yeah. This is a bit more of him, and I've got to say, you lose faith a little bit with this. Here in the middle. Ni'i how. Ni'i how is how it's pronounced. So here we go.

Coming back for the bit more. The name of this, Hawaiian. Hawaiian. Oh, yeah. The number one comment is, who are you to teach the pronunciation of that island's name when you can't even pronounce Hawaii correctly? So I did lose a bit of faith. Yeah.

But then when you were trying to zing him there, you mispronounce, pronounce. So that's pretty good, too. Who are you to zing? Well, I've actually got that word from how he pronounces pronounced. So, but I sort of cross-checked it. This is how a lot of people are saying it. Nihihau is the seventh largest Hawaiian island. It would be hard to say that wrong like you just did.

I know, that was actually impressive. Well done. I had to type out, Hawaii. Yeah, you got to do that phonetically. It is. Saman's younger brother. Hawaii. So it's smaller than a lot of the other islands, obviously it's number seven,

but it is still 69.9.5 square miles or 180 square kilometres big, which for scale is about the size of Canberra, the capital of Australia. If you're not from Australia and struggling to know how big it is, that's approximately 9,000 MCGs. Okay, that's big. Because each of them hold 100,000. You could fit 9,000 MCGs in Canberra. Yeah, pretty good.

Or if you're not into sport, that's about 180,000 Olympic-sized swimming pools. Okay. Wow. That's quite big. That's really big. And for American people, it's about three times the size of Manhattan. Okay. So it's big.

It's quite big. You don't have to tell American people. This is in the 50th state of America. Yeah, that's right. This is like... Top 50. I imagine just off mainland USA. Yeah.

And they're good at geography. It makes geographical sense. Yeah, they know. Now, all the islands have nicknames. Hawaii is the big island. Maui is the valley isle, Molokai is the friendly isle, and Nihihau is the forbidden aisle. Do you think that you could associate those sort of nicknames for the three of us? Okay.

Which, who's which? The big island, the friendly island, the forbidden aisle. Yeah. Well, I think we all know. It's a fun game sort of like Fuck Marry Kill. Yeah, but unfortunately I'm both big and forbidden. so you guys have to kind of fight over friendly. There's also the Valley Isle.

One of them is also the pineapple aisle. I quite like a pinnacle island. Oh my God, yeah, delicious. Yeah, no, it didn't work as well as it was hoping. Scrap that bit. Just because, like, I have to be forbidden, right? Yeah. But then, like, one of you would have, okay, I guess Dave could be big,

but it's like an ironic name. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that works. I'm the tall. I would be the heaviest of the three of us. We're going to have a whale. Let's have a way off. Oh, we should live stream it.

Damon's other brother Way off That doesn't work I don't think he got the joke the first time Is it Damon way in Yeah Way in, way off Yeah

But your brother's First name change It's not their surname Yeah I mean it's so dumb That's what I'm going to I didn't need to I didn't think I had to explain it

But I had to prove That I did understand the joke Dave I still don't know If you did, man Way and way off It turns out that joke was way off I thought it was fantastic

Thank you very much And Matt would ask AJ to edit it But I stand by my work I stand by my work Nah AJ Look after him please You'll be good

AJ be kind He started jumping out of look after us That's so brutal Dave will So that should we start doing that for him Because we tend to just let him go hoping AJ will, but now we'll let him know, AJ. Yeah, AJ letter.

That was a crook. Well, Matt just said it was fucked. And factually inaccurate. So like the other islands, it was part of the Hawaiian kingdom first established in 1795, when the incredibly named Kamea Mea the first, who was then the Ali i. Ali i. Nui, which meaning ruler or king of Hawaii, he conquered the islands of Wahoo, Maui, Molokai, and and unify them under one government.

Then in 1810, the Hawaiian islands were fully unified when the final two islands, including Nihihau, voluntarily joined the Hawaiian Kingdom. So they're all unified for a while. Then in a move I did not see coming in 1864, Scottish homemaker, farmer and plantation owner, Elizabeth Sinclair, bought the island of Nihihau from King Kamehamea the 5th

for US $10,000 worth of gold back then, which is roughly, I've seen two figures, either $1.75 million now or somewhere else wrote about $600,000. So not that much for a giant island. A farmer from Scotland? Yeah. Just what? She apparently, she first tried to settle in Canada and America and then decided to have...

I'll buy an island. It's wild to me that anyone can do that. Yes. Yeah, I think there's like Bezos and like the Google guys. I think they own small Hawaiian islands. Yeah, it doesn't the finance year Jeffrey Epstein own one? I don't know that's in Hawaii. Yeah.

But, you know, I mean... Of people who own islands. Yeah. Oh, okay. Richard Branson, I think a friend of the financier, I think it might own an island. Really? Yeah. She also reportedly threw in a grand piano that she had sailed around the world

to seal the deal. Okay. Was the fact that it had the piano had travelled, was that part of its attraction? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. This scene of stuff. Yeah, this one.

It's cultured. It speaks multiple languages. It is waterlogged. It's honestly, the timber is warped, quite badly. You cannot play. Yeah, it sounds fucking terrible. It's awful. Blink, blon, blon.

Blank, blank. But it has. Has seen the world. I mean, you know, and that's beautiful in its way. Yeah. No, there's no other piano that sounds like it. Nobody's got a piano like that. No.

No. You go to somebody else's house, they've got a piano that sounds like this. But nobody's got one that sounds like this. Blanc, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. So I'll chuck that in for free. So what do we do? Are we done here? King was like, all right.

I'll just go go get it off my nature strip. Just where I was story it for a bit Yeah, not hard rubbish coming up Hard rubbish, I don't even know when it is Doing hard rubbish they pull up And there's a piano there, they go, oh fuck off I'm not picking that on My parents recently got rid of the piano

And I don't remember how Was it hard rubbish? No, surely not How did they get the piano? It would have been given to them by someone else, I imagine Yeah, pianos are really hard to sell Secondhand My grandparents bought it when my mum was a kid

So the kids could all learn piano And then mum inherited it when I was little They seemed like they were more common Like a couple of generations back And you just, they're around somewhere Because people are like, you want this? Yeah, please. I think people are like, yeah, I can have a piano

That's crazy! And then they have it and it's like the trampoline The trampoline episode of The Simpsons. It's a curse. Yeah. Like, oh, this is just a huge. huge thing that I don't know how to play. Yep.

Takes up a lot of space, but photos look good sitting on top of it. It's just a photo stamp. Yeah. Because it's also, they're also really loud. Right. You can't discreetly practice, like with a keyboard or something with headphones. Yeah, yeah. You can't plug into a hundred-year-old piano?

We can try. But it sounds like, bling, plon. That is funny. My parents inherited one in their later life, like, you know, 10 years ago or something. from neighbours down the road we're trying to get rid of water. And then I think they had it, we're like,

oh yeah, what were we thinking? What a rush of blood to the head that was. And it's still there? They got it? No, I've got it now. You've got a piano? Yeah.

You idiot. I know. Why do you think I know so intimately what's going on? Anyway, point is, either of you interested in a piano? I don't know. I've never been,

I can't play a piano. Yeah. Yeah, well, I thought I was going to inherit that piano. I also love the idea of having one. Great. I do not have anywhere to put it. I have the smallest house on earth, no way.

Smallest house on earth, he reckons. Yeah. Haven't you seen it? No, I don't fit. He's going to leave. I've seen the outside. It looks very cute, but I can't get in there. And the thing is you think, you come out, David, I'll go have a look, but it can't, it's

big enough for him alone. It's not big enough for the big island. It's not. I'm not changing my name in the group chat. the big island. No, you won't because I already have. Thank you for a bit of an aisle.

But honestly, the piano's not tuned. It sounds like I was impersonating it then. And that's mainly because I don't know how to play it. And I've tried one time. And I'm like, it's so funny to be betrayed like that by your parents. Yeah,

yeah, they knew what they were doing. Because they just happened to them. Your dad was driving away laughing like a maniac. I can't even remember how it came over. Maybe it was when I started a Ute. otherwise how yeah because it has a lot of time to think about it you're like oh this is a pain in the ass

hang on a second yeah you had a use but it just felt like I'm like early days of pod how can I don't you reckon it feels like the kind of thing you're like I can have a piano yeah absolutely oh yeah absolutely someone's crazy yeah yeah anyway this lady said can I have an island I feel like yes please I would think

I think AJ, a chunk of that piano check could probably be trimmed down. I honestly want to keep talking about pianos. I've got more to say, but you're right. We should move on. All right. So, this lady, this Scottish lady, Elizabeth Sinclair, bought the island. Are you thinking, well, it's probably an empty island?

No, a community of about 1,000 native Hawaiians were living, so Hawaiians, we're living on Niki Howe when Elizabeth Sinclair bought it. The sale included an agreement that the residents could remain, and they continued to live there, maintaining a traditional lifestyle, while the island became privately owned. But reportedly, within a few years, more than two-thirds of the population had moved away. Because what's the point of her owning the island then?

I think she can also do what she wants on the island. Yeah. But she just can't really move these people on. But then they voluntarily moved away for these reasons because the incredibly named Guthrie Skrimgawa... What? ...wrote for Business Insider in 2025. That's a purse?

A guy who wrote... A modern person. In 2020... Last year he wrote an article about this island because it got a very interesting history. Give it again. First name, Guthrie. Guthrie.

Ghrie Skrimgower. No. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't come up with anything that good on. Like, name generator. Guthry Scrimgown. You can't be named that in 2025. What are you talking about?

Right of a business insider. Guthrie. Yeah, no. That man has multiple pianos at his house. Oh my God, yes. And they're in tune. Yes. Juelling pianos himself.

Yeah. Guthrie Guthrie. Guthry, so good. Guthrie Scrimgower. Scrimgower! I'm going to quote from Guth quite a bit. So he wrote in 2025,

most Nicky Howans of the 1860s who had hoped to purchase the island for themselves, didn't appreciate the new arrangement and fled east to neighbouring islands. So a lot of people left. 160 years later, Elizabeth Sinclair's descendants, the Robinson family, continue to live on the island. So they still own this island.

Oh, wow. Today. Today. I was expecting that to not be true. That's wild. Wow. A Scottish family owns an island... The seventh largest island.

In the 50th state of America. Yeah. Probably own it. That makes sense to me. I have no follow-up questions. I don't... Yeah, I don't think that would create any sort of legal vagaries. Yeah.

Any inconsistence... Vageries. Vageries. I liked it. Wikipedia.org, which is like a history of Hawaii sort of website I found, has a family tree. It's probably like wiki-e, Pat. Oh, I see.

Thank you. I'll have to ask Julian about that. I really thought everyone was going to join him. Me too. I thought it deserved that. Yeah. I thought we were all going to build up so big. I thought I was going to get carried out of here.

I'm done for the day. That's how it was going to end. So it has the family tree, and this is how it passed down over the generation. So first it was Elizabeth. Then in 1915, Sinclair's grandson, Aubrey Robinson, closed the island to most visitors. Right, okay. Made it very, very private. Even relatives of the inhabitants could visit only by special permission.

She had to get Aubrey's permission to go see your relatives. Upon Aubrey's death in 1939, the island passed to his son, Elmer. And in 1968, to Elma's youngest brother, Lester, this is a great name. I was not allowed to have a normal, not normal, sorry. You can say. Poor use of word there. These are weird billionaires. You're allowed to criticise them.

Yeah, exactly. They own a private island. Yeah, they're fine. Every name is a little eccentric. Yeah. It was Aubrey, then it's Alma, then it's Lester. Upon Lester's wife, Helen's death, the island passed to his sons, Bruce and Keith Robinson. Now we're talking.

The Aussies are moving. Yeah, yeah. Hey, young. Hey, got some great surf here. Let's go hang ten. mate i'll tell you what where's the local pisser does i need a i don't have a piss so are you asking where the local pisser is on the island you own and then i'm going to drink piss different kinds of piss yeah i'm going to drink piss i'm going to do piss and i drink some more

beer and yeah i really hope you know uh i know there's some vagaries in language but i hope you know that i'm talking about two different kinds of piss the what i drink is the one of the beery call And the one I'm pissing is more of the classic piss. That depends how much beer you're drinking. Oh, broke the seal. Keith broke the seal again. Am I Keith or Bruce? You can be wherever you want to be.

Yeah, I am. I'm living my best life. Thanks, but I appreciate that vindication. Bruce out. Okay, he's Bruce. So, Bruce. Bruce. Bruce and Keith.

And Keith. Bruce. And Keith. And Keith. Bruce. Bruce. They are still the current co-owners. Wow.

And they're in their 80s now. They had two of the great names. So good. Are they coming back? I think they're due to be back. We've got to bring Keith back for sure. My go-to comedy. Baby Bruce.

That's pretty fun. Baby Bruce is so nice. Keith, there's a town called Keith near the Victorian-South Australian border. Stop to get a photo by that sign. I don't tell you that much. You'd be a big criminal not to. Town called Keith. There's got to be a town called Bruce.

You've got to be sister city of Gary and you. I'm going out. I'm going to look up if there's a town called Bruce. Yeah, that's ringing a bell. Is that just because it should? It should. Bruce. Bruce McAvaney.

Special. There's Bruce in South Australia. A tiny, almost abandoned ghost town. Almost abandoned. Located 278 kilometres north of Adelaide. And then there's a Bruce rock in Western Australia. Imagine if the ghost town's ghost was named Bruce, it'd say like, Bruce. Bruce, Bruce.

He's saying his own name for some reason. So I googled Bruce Town, Australia, and it came up with North Fremantle, there's a cafe called Bruce Town Cafe. Okay. Bruce town, Bruce. There's also the suburb of Bruce in Canberra. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Whereas not too far from here, there's the train station, Dennis.

Dennis. That's my favourite train station. It tells you everything you need to know about the differences between Camber and Melbourne. Yeah. They've got Bruce. Danbury's got Bruce. We can only afford Dennis. Dennis.

Dennis. Hello, I love Dennis. Hello, I love Dennis. Oh, it's the train on Todd. Oh, would you like to catch me? I'm Dennis. Shut the fuck up, Dennis. You little dweeb.

I want to fucking give that guy a wedgy. Yeah. I'm going to go up a camp with the boys. Yeah, but I go with Bruce. I'm going to go with Bruce. You know who's not invited? Dennis. Dennis.

Dave isn't participating because he's a real. Dennis. Yeah. I love Dennis. I love Dennis. Yeah. I am. Dan Ann.

I'll die for Dennis. The station. Yes. So it's still owned by the Keith and Bruce Robinson family. Britannica is more favourable rights that the family quote have attempted to preserve Hawaiian culture there. Residency on Nihihau is restricted to Hawaiians and tourism is prohibited, although English is taught Hawaiian is the preferred language. And I read somewhere that's like it's the only. place in the world where Hawaiian's language is the designated first language of the whole place.

Right. That's interesting. Yeah, well, that's something. But at the same time, the ethics of owning an island, do we? It's like, it's great to be like, yeah, no, we preserve the culture and we try and keep tourists out, and give the island back. You know what I mean? You know, in a way, it's similar to owning anything. Whoa. You know what I mean? Whoa. Well, as someone who owns very little, I feel like... You're full ethical. Yeah, I'm very ethical. Pure ethics.

And that's the reason you are. Now, I own a piano that I would love to... Pass on. You'd love to... You'd love to give back. Yeah. To your mum and dad. And then they can pass it on.

Yeah. To the neighbours who probably pass it on to their neighbours. Yeah. Where did this come from? It's a travelling piano. The Robinsons have been credited with helping keep the Hawaiian language alive, and people believe that many other traditional customs might have been lost of the island had been opened up to development.

These days, just 84 people live on the island. Wow. According to Guthrie Scrimgower again, or Scrimgower, the island has no Wi-Fi running water or electricity outside of solar panels, which are a relatively new import. Locals wash their clothes in streams and light their homes with kerosene lamps. There are no cars or paved roads and just one truck. Most travel is done by horse or bicycle.

Wow. There are several dozen native residents on Hihau are considered invited guests of the Robinsons and are allowed to live their rent-free as they have a generation. but in exchange there's always a catch. They must follow a strict set of rules that align with the owner's Calvinist beliefs. Okay, what does that mean? Vice is like a...

Who's Calvin named after? Pretty conservative type of Christianity. Calvin Coolellan. Yes. Calvin are Hobbs. Calvinite. Fridge. Should we make out?

Yes. It's happening. Calvinism or reforming. theology is a major 16th century Protestant tradition based on John Calvin's teaching. Ah, John. John. I mean, you could have guessed that. So, vice is like drinking and drug use are punishable by permanent exile, as are long hair and beards on men.

What the heck? This is a Christianity thing? Famously Christ did both of those things. All of them. He made wine. What are they doing? I just want to... Live more like Jesus.

Yeah. Grow your hair long. Have a beard. Drink wine. What about... Or even turn water in a wine if you really want to get into it. Yeah. Tattoos.

Jesus had some full sleeves? Yeah. Band. Have you not seen a crucifix tattoo? I'm sure he would add one of them. You know, he's like, I'm not scared of death. Look. Yeah.

When he came back, he had one. Well, not tattoos, but he did have, you know, like these sort of permanent markings. Yeah. Owning firearms is also banned, possibly because of today's story, foreshadowing. Okay. Visitors, even family members of those living there, are allowed only at the Robinson's permission. And people have been, yeah, exiled from their communities. And the people that live there, like have been born there.

Yes. Generations have lived there. But they are invited guests of the family. Yeah, and a lot of them would probably have ancestry that goes back way before their great, great, great grandmother bought the island. Absolutely. but they are invited guests and follow these strict rules. And this is still part of Hawaii? Yeah, still part of Hawaii.

Yeah, and they're all American citizens and they all vote. Yeah, okay. And they're allowed to have these different rules like laws outside of the... It feels like some of these are unconstitutional, perhaps. We have to follow the... There's a thing we have to follow the island owners rules. Or is it because of the private property? different rules apply.

Yeah, I guess I don't think you could do anything that would make them, though I guess, you know, they do have the right to bear arms, certainly. I don't know, I thought there would be a thing where you can't, like, obviously just write your own laws. Yes. But I guess you would just say... Private property, you're Americans have the right to bear arms, but not, probably not in a hospital or something, isn't it similar?

Yeah, not everywhere. I guess if you came to my house, I could say, I don't like what you're doing. I don't like you drinking that alcohol. Please leave my property. They're treating it like that, but it's just an island the size of three Manhattan's. Yeah. One former resident that Guthrie Scringo... That's why I can't get back into Dave's house.

I keep turning up with a six-pack. Yeah, and a beard. Get that beard out of here. Her husband. You're like, he has a name. I don't know what it is. Could you find out, please? One former resident that Guthrie Skrimgower interviewed for the business insider piece is

Polani Kahulah I've had a real crack there Julian doesn't extend to pronouncing individual people's names He's an Nihua Howen who says he's not allowed to return due to restrictions imposed by the Robinsons He said he was banned from returning

To his home due to his long hair Scrimgawa writes The hairband particularly bothers Polani Because it doesn't align with the way He's Kanaka or native Hawaiian ancestors Would have done things Polani said in the interview, quote, we never had scissors.

Right. So traditionally, we had very long hair. On the issue of hair, Keith Robinson, one of the island's modern owners, who's in his 80s, said to Scrim Girl,

when giving him a rare interview, which he had to get by sending post to him. He apparently tried calling and emailing dozens of times, never got anything. Someone said, now the key is send him a letter. Right. And then he called him back that day. He said, when asked about the hair,

he said, quote, we're not going to turn the place into a hippie colony. Okay. So that's why he doesn't want long hair. That's funny because it's a very culty colony that doesn't sound miles from a hippie sort of thing. Now in his 80s, like I said, he has some pretty out there views. He recently published a book called Approach to Armageddon,

detailing these beliefs and interpreting Bible prophecies to foretell a coming doomsday, writing, quote, The United States and Great Britain have made disastrous national mistakes, which may ultimately lead to the rise. of the Antichrist Whoa, what does that mean? Someone who's like really against Christ, I guess. Yeah.

Someone like... Ricky Jervais. Ricky Javis. Yes. He keeps coming back. He does and he... Wait, is that true? I don't know if I've heard him mention.

Does he not believe in Jesus? I don't think, yeah, I don't think he does. He keeps his opinions to himself. Yeah. I just get the vibe. It makes sense. The Antichrist will be someone. who has short hair.

Yes. Because the real Christ has long hair. Based on the photos I saw as a child. Uh-huh. He won't have a beard. No. Oh my God. Is it Ricky Jules?

No, he drinks. He drinks booze. Does he? Like Jesus did, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. Hang on. Bruce and Keith fit these descriptions.

Short hair. Short hair. Don't drink booze. Oh, my God. Well, he just... The calls coming from in the... inside the island. And then when he comes, he's like, well, I want you. You can say that anytime anybody calls you here.

Yeah, calls coming from because we live on a big island. Australia's an island. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? It is. It's confusing as well because it, like, you'll see it like the biggest island in the world. You used to always say Australia, now it doesn't. What happened there? I don't know. Too big to be an island? Too big. People don't like it if we say we're a continent either. Sorry, incontinent. Yeah. He's like, shut up, shut up. Keep that to yourself.

Yeah. I'm like, okay, I'm trying to raise awareness. Yeah. Okay. If this saves one person, some embarrassment. I lost my sphincter in an accident. Okay. Okay.

I won't go into it. No, unless you want me to. Please do go on. Some outsiders began coming to the island via helicopter tours that allow hunters to shoot wild invasive sheep for a hefty feet. Invasive sheep? What the heck is that? You can come in via helicopter to go hunting. hunting. Yeah.

You know shit, it's a hefty fee. These are like crook, weirdo, um, billionaires doing this. Yeah, it's like $3,000 or something to go for the day. To go shit. Who can afford that? That way, I imagine there would be people who'd be like, yeah, I'd love to just pick off some docile animals. Hunting big buck is tricky. Yeah. They're like, you know. They follow each other.

They're scoops of them. Yeah. It's like shooting, you know, sheep on an island. It's a coin a phrase. According to another great source here, Messy-Nessie-Sheik.net. Okay. In 1987, the Robbins began reluctantly offering half-day helicopter tours of the island back then for $440 a pop has gone up.

Coincidentally, in the same helicopter that was featured in the original Jurassic Park. Great, yep. Which was loaned to the film crew in 1993. Initially, the helicopter was purchased by the family for medical emergencies, but the tours were introduced as a means to help pay for it. So they've got a helicopter there now. So they're struggling for cash a little? Well, no, not anymore because of what I'm about to say.

When you're hunting on the island, you're kept away from the inhabitants, I just want to say. So they try and keep you fully separate from the people living there. They also get money from the US government, again from Guthrie Scramgoer. Since the 1980s, the US Navy has operated on Nihihau and has steadily replaced ranching as the island's primary economic engine, paying the Robinson's about $25 million in contracts since the turn of the century. So that's how they... And they also have a deal with the government where they pay very little tax.

Wow. God. Land tax, I read. Feeling a lot of sympathy for them. So how did the sheep get there? They were farming sheep at some point and now there's just a feral population. Yeah, I guess it got out of hand. Because the sheep, like, have been bred over a long period of time to grow...

big wool. Big wool, which they need Sean. You never see that sheep years back? Oh, that ran away and got found. It was, it looked like that kid who won't cut his hair until Manchester United win five games in a row. It was like a sheep version of that guy. It was just a puffball.

Yeah. Looked awesome, but it would have been awful to be inside of it. Was he like on the run for like a decade or something? the sheep. Is that what we're assuming these sheep are? Or are they started to de-evolve or pre-evolve or re-evolve? Or they can handle shears. Oh, now there's scissors.

Their assizes on the island now. I forgot so. And most of this story is set in a time when Manchester United were good. Oh, okay. So every time they won five games in a row, shear the sheep. These days, it's always out of control. They've got to pull their shit together. Yeah.

All right, shoot. There's also an amazing nature on the island And apparently it was barren of trees for centuries Just because of the way the weather is there But decades of planting and conservation has meant there There are now lots of trees And many Hawaiian native animals call it home So apparently it's beautiful

It's a beautiful place Cool The inhabitants are very isolated from the outside world A World War II barge Deliver supplies But the Nihihihahuans generally forage for food And grow their own crops while meat from Nihihau's livestock is free

and any meat that safari guests do not take with them is given to the village. So if you take out a bunch of sheep, you can't take it all with you, I guess. Just hanging from a helicopter as you fly back. When laying out the deal with residents in a 1997 letter to the Honolulu star, Keith Robinson, the owner of the island,

wrote out the rules in a letter to a newspaper. He said, Residents are not permitted to, quote, do or say anything that adversely affects the Robinson's constitutional rights to enjoy the security and privacy of our property and business affairs. So most of the inhabitants that live there and want to stay living there do not talk freely to the press. Guthrie Skramgawa writes, living on Nihihau means that you are functionally under an informal non-disclosure agreement, which is pretty weird.

So weird. So that's the island today, but what I want to tell you about is something that happened in December 1941 when an unwelcome stranger came to the island. Ooh, sheep. Okay, so we have to briefly talk about one of the most significant events of the 20th century, and that is the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. What? I'm kidding.

I've been to Pearl Harbor. Twice. Have you been that? Why did you go twice? Because we went to Hawaii when I was a kid as well. Oh, right. My God. Yeah.

On the way back from Disneyland. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, a couple of family members died. We had some of it. Now, we did the right thing. Where about, where is Pearl Harbor in terms of, is it the big island, forbidden island? It's on Wahoo. Wahoo, which is the fun island.

Sounds like it. Wahoo. And the one we're talking about today, is that the forbidden one? I forgot. We're talking about Nihihau is the forbidden island. That makes sense. So Pearl Harbor, what was it like going there? Is a big memorial, I imagine?

Yeah, sort of museum type setup, and then you get on a little. barge type thing and you go over to another kind of barge type thing that's permanent there and you're over the top of the Arizona, which is one of the ships that say. All right. And can you see it? Wow. Amazing. So of course, I'm going to be super brief because this should be its own topic one day. It's super intricate. But just to get everyone up to speed on December the 7th, 1941, a day which will live in infamy, which is always at the start of the quote from hardcore history. That's how I remember. The Empire of Japan launched a surprise military strike on the United States

Pacific Fleet at its naval base at Pearl Harbor on Wahu, Hawaii. At the time, the US was a neutral country in World War II, and this brought them into the war. The base was attacked by 353 fighters, level and dive bombers, and torpedo bombers in two waves launched from

six aircraft carriers. And one of those Japanese pilots was 22-year-old airman, first class Shiginori Nishikaichi. And that's who we're going to talk about today. Shiganoi Nisikaichi. Nisichikachi was flying a Mitsubishi A6 M2-Zero Fighter,

which is this badass-looking plane with red circles on the wings and the fuselage. Did it still have the three diamond logo that the... That the air conditions do today. The sedans and air conditions are stuff. I wonder how old that logo is. Did it come with a diamond guarantee? Which I think is what they... Is that what they advertise of their products?

If not, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I try to think of Mitsubishi's tagline. I kind of think of it. According to History Net, which has a great article on this by William Hallstead, Nishikaichi and seven other fighter pilots from the carrier, Heru, had attacked targets in southeastern Wahoo. After the raids, the Zeros reassembled and began the return flight to the carriers. The plan was to rendezvous with returning bombers just north of Wahoo's northern tip. The bombers would then lead the fighters, which had few navigational aids, back to the

carriers, waiting nearly 200 miles away. After the raids, as Nishikachi and his fellow airmen began to make their way back to the aircraft carriers, a squadron of American P-36 Hawks became airborne and challenged the Japanese Zeros. There's a bit of a dog fight going on the air here. Horset continues, the lightly armed P-36A's looked fierce as the Americans, but they were already obsolete. The Zeros, the Mitsubishi's, outclimed, out-turned, and turned. and outran the slower, less maneuverable.

Planes, the American pilots went down one after the other, victims of the Japanese Zero's superior maneuverability. Great ad for Mitsubishi's. You know, the Lancer. Oh, of course. Mitsubishi Magna. Yep. The Pajero?

No, the Pajero. Oh, yeah, my goodness. Yeah, to a, what a tight turning circle. You know, add with towing powder boot. Yeah. Yeah. It just out maneuvers. It does.

Why can't I think of more Mitsubishi's? I can't think of any. Are they still? Are they sort of a... Are they a thing? Yeah. They're some Mitsubishi. What are they got?

I mean, how can we not move? What's their little car? Like, I keep going to say Swift. Yeah, Suzuki Swift. That's why I keep thinking as well. It's Suzuki. The Magna's gone. They don't make Magnas anymore.

They make Magnas like they used to. They make Lancers anymore? I don't know. I don't know if they do. Let me go. Hatchbacks on the website. All right, what are you got? We're on the Mitsubishi website.

Dot.A.U? This is dot AU. This is what we got here. We've got, um, oh, what the fuck? The Kia Soul. Oh. Oh, this is sorry, I'm on the Essendon North Dealers website because that was the first app they came up.

So have been on. Triton, Missibisi Triton. Oh, the Triton. Yeah. The Outlander. Outlander. Of course. What about hatchbacks?

There's so many... Maybe they just don't make them anymore. Maybe Kay is definitely grown since the heyday of Mitsubishi. What are you got? The Mitsubishi. How do we forget this? Mirage. Oh, the Mirage.

Yes, that's the hatchback that's coming up. The Mitsubishi Mirage. Oh, that's a bit of... That's why we forget it. Yeah. Isn't even there. I thought I saw it. It.

I'm so thirsty. They should have a Mitsubishi Oasis. Oh, yeah. That'd be nice. Should I look up if they've got one on Essendant north? Let's get a company car. Drive away, no more to pay. It's like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, no shit. What do you mean? Why would they be paying more? You can only be saying that because it rhymes because it would be weird to buy any product and then for them to let you know later. Whoa, whoa. You got to keep paying us for this. You spend 50 grand and then you get in the car and go, hey, what about the other 30 grand?

Yeah. What, but I just paid you for this. Hey, it costs more to get in it. So there's more to pay. Drive away, more to pay. Yeah. If we don't say on the ad drive away, no more to pay, we didn't say that. That means there's more to pay.

Drive away, no, more to pay. That's what I mean. Yeah. Drive away question mark. You really thought you'd get the car for $30? Yeah, come on. This is clearly a deposit, okay? And honestly, a really small deposit.

We should have asked for more. It was a risk you didn't come back today. And I'm not going to leave another message. Please come back. Please. By the way, it's Gavin from Essendon. Sorry, yes, it's Dennis here. We would really appreciate it if you could pay the rest for this car

because my boss is really handing me, Keith. And he actually is, you know, he's a real man. He owns an island. So, with the American enemies taking care of Nishikachi flew on, he knew he had been hit in the firefight, but at first he thought the damage was something superficial. But his fuel seemed to be dropping rapidly because, in fact, he had been hit a dozen times in his planes, petrol tank. Okay. Not a great place to be hit.

No. His engine began to give out and his comrades flew away, leaving him alone in the skies. I was there with the Russians. Can't keep up with them. He remembered his morning briefing, which stated that pilots who are in trouble were to attempt to land on the Hawaiian island of Nihihau, where they should wait for a rescue by a submarine. The Japanese thought the island was uninhabited, which of course was wrong. He calculated he was 130 miles west of the island and dropped altitude to aid the spluttering engine in the hopes of making it. He soon saw another Japanese zero that was also clearly struggling after being hit, and the plane,

Plain followed him as they limped towards what they hoped was the safety of this uninhabited island. After half an hour of his engine spluttering, the island came into view. Whoa, that's a long time to be spluttering. Half an hour? Yeah. Come on. Go on. Go on, please.

Nearly empty on the gauge. A little bit more. A little bit more. Tap in the gauge. You're on the Hume Highway. You're like, I've not judged this well. Come on, Shell. You think half an hour is a long time, do you?

Okay. I think it is. Says a lot about what Matt was the one Matt's spluttering. Oh, you're talking about sex. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? I never splutter. Did I splutter?

I don't know why that's so funny. I'm not like a good chance of laughing at all that. That's good. It is stupid, but it's funny. Did I splutter? All right, see you later, Toots. Blatter? Hey, what?

Just what? I'll see you next week. And people are like, who was that? Half an hour of entrance bluttering, the island came to view, as did the structures and clear signs of life on the island. Oops, the intelligence was wrong. People do live here. Oh dear. Nishikachi realized he had two options.

Try and crash land onto the island, which was enemy territory, or crash into the sea. Also, to be honest, enemy territory. An enemy territory. Yeah! That was so, if you didn't splutter, that would have been perfect. Did I splutter? Did I splutter? So, he's like, two options.

Crash land here, crash land there into the ocean. Yeah. I know what I'd be picking. But the other plane was still with him. Remember, there's another plane that's also struggling and was trying to land here as well. He signalled after going around that he was going to land. HistoryNet picks up the story again. The pilot of the other stricken zero,

Amman's second class, Suburu Ishi, waved away that suggestion. He had just radioed his carrier, the Shokaku, that he had intended to return to Wahoo and crash dive into some worthwhile target. Basically do a bit of kamikaze. He's like, I'm going to try and take someone with me. A few minutes later, Nishikachi watched Ishi, the other guy, climbed steeply, then inexplicably dive straight into the sea. So he didn't quite make it too.

He might have seen a submarine. He might have. Enemy submarine. An enemy submarine. submarine. They have the technology. Maybe saw Harold Holt down there. I don't know if the timelines line up. So now it was just Nishikachi, who attempted a landing on a piece of pasture next to an isolated house. He prepared for a hard landing but didn't intend to clip a fence. His nose crashed into the ground, nose of the plane, and he was slammed into his instrument panel.

Nose of his face, probably. Amazingly, he was alive. Wow. Watching this whole crash landing was Hawaiian Howard Kaleo Hano, born and educated on the big island of Hawaii. He had been permitted by island manager and then owner Elma Robinson to visit his sister on Nihihau in 1930. He'd gotten married and stayed on and was now one of the few inhabitants fluent in English. Because he'd come from the outside. Imagine like everyone else is so wait for her. They're like, wait, you were just popping over to see your sister. He's just visiting.

Oh yeah, I got married. I found a laugh here. You were just going to go for a couple of nights. You got a laugh from the family of a year. You already married. So Kalei Yano saw the plane crash and ran over to help, according to the National Archives. Although he was unaware of what it just unfolded in Pearl Harbor,

Kalei Hano recognized the markings on the plane as Japanese and was familiar with these strange relations between Japan and the United States. So there had been a bit of beef leading up to it. weren't officially at war, but they had been a bit of back and forth between the two countries. Yeah, because at this point, America was still like, you know, people are saying bad things about Hitler, but we're going to see how it happens. Let's see what goes on here. We're not getting involved in this. You want us to pick a side between literal Nazis and the other team who were calling themselves the good guys?

To be fair, Nazis were also calling themselves the good guys. True. That's confusing. Yeah. No way of the good guys. Yeah, I think the Nazis should have been clearer. Yeah. If you're going to be evil Just say we're the evil team

Just own up to it Yeah Be like, we're the baddies Okay Okay And we're proud of it You don't lean in That's right

It's not just ladies that need to Ladies, Lean in Ladies, of course lean in Evil people too Evil ladies All the evil ladies Put your hands up

I feel like I lost the thread at some point You lost the thread Me didn't lose us Okay Most of her for you man me. Did I splutter? So, Kaleihano, he saw the day's Japanese pilot trying to get out of the plane, gun in hand, and he quickly grabbed the pistol.

He searched the plane and collected the papers on board, which included multiple maps of Hawaii. But remember, he doesn't know about Pearl Harbor yet. Right. The pilot appeared friendly, so Kaleihano took the man into his house where his wife served the visit of breakfast. Oh, no, he's about to get married as well. This place, you just fall in love there. You can never leave. Why would you want to?

Unless you want to grow your hair. Damn, I'm going to choose between love and my love of locks. Luscious locks. You change your hair all the time. But I feel like as soon as you got to a place, even if you liked it, if they're like, you can't grow your hair. You'd be like, I just want that long hair. I feel like a rat in a cage. But like, you know.

I do get very restless with hair, hair and beard. Yeah, fair enough. And like Dave, Dave, Dave's locked it in. I mean, you did perfect it. He's nailed. Exactly. He's perfected it. I never have. You're trying to find it.

Exactly. And you will one day and then you'll keep it. Because Dave, he used to be searching. Yeah. And he looked in the wrong places for a little while. That's right. You've looked in a lot of good places. But I think it about 10 years ago, was it?

Oh, yeah. Seven years ago, Dave found it. And my God. Once you've got it, you don't give it up. I imagine you, now you just go to the hairdress and they've got a mold. Yeah. Like, let's put it on. I go on and ask for the Dave.

And they say, well, yeah, obviously. I hear a bunch of other men asking for the Dave too. And I was like, that's one of mine. Like, yeah, sure, you're the dove. No, seriously, I'm the dove. No, I am on the Dave. I'm the first minute in history to get a short back in size, a little off the top. But it's sort of like to the quiff is slightly to the side.

It's almost, I don't know. Some of the back. With the Sheffield, you've added the Sheffield. That's right. I've added the Sheffield. So there's still more Sheffield to come, I fear. So it will change. How Sheffield can you go?

Can you go full Sheffield? I can go full Sheffield. Did Sheffield? What about it? Inverted Maxwell. You know, with a shock of black. Oh, I get black tips. Yeah, get black tips.

Once you go full silver. Full silver and then bring the black tips in. Yeah. Just one shock. That's fantastic. Yeah. Am I using the same shock problem? Your hair wasn't black to begin with.

No. And I did have black when I was about 14 and I looked odd. Yeah. It looks so. It was vampire chic. Too high contrast. Which is funny because they famously say once you go black, you never go back.

But Dave did almost instantly. Dave's the exception. Yeah. It's true. So they've given him breakfast. They've given him breakfast, but he discovered the pilot did not speak English. Koli Yano does not speak Japanese.

They didn't have a real way to communicate. So Kalei Yohano then summoned 61-year-old Japanese-born beekeeper, Ishimatsu Shintani, who briefly spoke with the pilot. He spoke with a pilot, then became viscous. physically shocked and walked away without divulging to Kaleiyano what he'd just been told. Turns out, Nishikachi had told him that Japan had attacked Pearl Harbor and declared war on the USA. Oh, I would have kept that on the map.

Yeah, I probably would have kept that to myself. And Ishimatsu Shintani, he'd lived in Hawaii for 41 years. His children were U.S. citizens, but he was not, and he was wary of getting involved. So he was like, I'm out. He just left. But he didn't tell anyone about Pearl Harbor. He just went. I don't want any thing to do with this.

Left the island or just left the conversation? Just left the conversation. Just like walked out of the house. I have to go. And Glejani is like, what was that about? They probably like, he must have shied himself. Yeah. Like he just left really quickly.

His facial expression changed, I think, mid-sentence. Yeah. He might have. He might have shut himself. He sharded. Yeah. He shud. So Kaleihana reached out to the only other Japanese speakers on the island, the Haradas.

A couple who spoke English and Japanese, who would be the perfect translators. And I did not realize this, but people of Japanese descent are the second largest ethnic group in Hawaii, many having come over at the turn of the 20th century to work on sugar cane plantations. At their height in 1920, they constituted 43% of Hawaii's population. Right. Wow, 43. Yeah, because I was thinking this island's got 80 people on it. What are the chances three of them speak Japanese? Yeah, I was surprised by that, yeah, especially with how, like, restrictive they are, with who's allowed to be there. But like, it's just a lot of Hawaiian people are, of Japanese descent. So back to Nihau. Thirty-eight-year-old, Yoshio Harada had been born to Japanese

parents in Hawaii. He had three brothers in Japan, and his wife, Irene, was also the daughter of Japanese parents. So they were summoned. They spoke to Nisikachi, who again told them of Pearl Harbor and demanded that his pistol and papers be returned to him. The Hiradas were wary that others on the island viewed them more as Japanese than Hawaiian, even though they'd lived there for a long time. So they also decided to keep this information to themselves. Yeah. I don't want to be paired with that.

Yeah. We didn't do that. Yeah, it's interesting. I mean, I don't know what I'd be doing, but if it does come out, you're going to look like you were working together. Yeah, collaborating. Yeah. So rather than coming out, yeah, it's a very tight spot to be in.

Like, oh, I kind of wish I did not hear that. Yes. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Don't say that out loud. But with the rest of the island, not knowing they were technically at war with Japan, they treated the Japanese pilot to a luau. Where, according to the National Archives, Nishikachi even sang a Japanese song while playing on a borrowed guitar.

So everyone's getting along pretty darn well. He's having a great time. Yeah. He's just told them all what's happened, what he was a part of. Yeah, he's like not ashamed at all. Yeah. And he's not fearful for his own. He's like, yeah, so you guys, part of the US, we just attacked you.

Yeah. So if you can just go get my gun. And I'm just going to wait here to be picked up. And in the meantime, I'd love to party. Yeah, in the meantime, they're getting a bit of traditional Hawaiian hospitality. Everyone's being really friendly and nice. Yeah. So, yeah, does he think he's like, I obviously don't give a shit?

Or is he aware that they're not telling the others what's going on? I think he, yeah, I think he would presume that they're not telling anything. Right. And it's just going along with the good vibes for a bit? I don't know that much about it, but Japan at the time. time was pretty cultish in itself, right? As a nation, they were fully believing in their superiority in the world and stuff, right? And that's why they were going for a bit of domination.

In the story, he's, like, Nishikachi has no doubt that Japan is going to win the war. Yeah. No doubt. He's thinking, like, he's feeling that confidence. I mean, his mate just went, my plane's going out, so I'm going to sacrifice myself for the cause. Like, it's a big sort of. Yeah, culturally, there's a lot of sacrifice for the cause. Absolutely.

Yeah. And you expected to do that. However, the truth came crashing in when that night news reached the islanders by radio, and the true nature of the pilot's appearance on Nihihau became clear. So they were like, okay, what do we do here? Now it feels like they're like, this is when they might be like, yes, now we just didn't really know how to tell you. The Japanese couple, the Haradhas, told everyone else what Nishikachi had revealed to them, and I'm guessing everyone was pretty happy that they'd taken them,

gun away just for safety. So the residents of Nehia discussed what to do with their unfortunate visitor, and this came at a time when their landlord, the owner of the island, Elmer Robinson was away. Turns out he only made a weekly visit to check on his island. Oh, that's weird. Weird. So they lived there all the time, but they're a bit like,

I guess we'll wait for the boss to come back, kind of. That's the vibe. Where's he living? Somewhere else in Hawaii. Right. But with naval restrictions in place following the Pearl Harbor attack, he couldn't make it over. They weren't letting boats travel.

On the island, they didn't know this and was surprised that Robinson didn't arrive as scheduled on December 8th, the day after the Pearl Harbor attacks and Nishikachi had arrived. I think they were a bit like, don't worry, the island's owner will come back tomorrow. We'll ask him what we should do, and then we'll go with that. But then he just didn't turn up. So they don't, and he's not radioing, so they just don't know what's happened. I don't think they have a radio. Oh, didn't that how they found?

Oh, they were listening to a broadcast, right? I think they can listen to broadcast, but they don't have a radio to communicate back and forth with other islands. Yeah. They're very isolated. That's why the family loves lettuce. Exactly. Lettuce? Yes.

It's a delightful accompaniment to any sandwich. Rabbit food. Yeah. Who else is craving Hawaiian pizza right now? Oh man, give you some pineapple. Should we? I'm down. Should we stop?

Well, it's a pause now. Get a pizza. Go get a pizza. I'm getting really hungry just thinking about a wine pizza, which I believe is not a thing in Hawaii. No. I don't think so. But what a tribute.

Similar to the bloom and onion. Yeah, that's right. We don't have that. According to HistoryNet, the island's former resident superintendent, John Rennie had died in September, and Robinson had appointed Harada, the Japanese man acting as translator,

as paymaster in Rennie's place. That had made Harada a man of stature on Nihia, got these responsibilities and he was now torn between his American citizenship and his Japanese heritage. The Haratas asked to keep Nishikachi in their home on the condition that five other Nihihawans would stand guard and shifts. So they sort of put this guy under a vague arrest until they could work out what to do with him. But he could live in a house with the people that speak his language. Yeah, that makes sense. So he'd look after, be look after Chloe. There's worse places to be a prisoner of war. Yeah, very true, very true. Pilot Nishikachi spoke to Yoshio Hirada, obviously

in Japanese, so the others couldn't understand. The pilot had apparently sensed that Harada's loyalties were torn and began to play on that. He assured Harada, this is what I was saying before, that Japan was certain to win the war and slowly won over his countrymen, including Harada's wife, Irene. He was a bit like, you should help me, Japan are going to win the war, and it will be good for us. Help me now. Whoa. Nishikachi had been told that under no circumstance was the enemy to get his papers,

which included military intelligence and details of the attack on Pearl Harbor, and he was intent on getting them back, no matter the cost. Whoa. There was the easy way, and there was the hard way. Oh, I'd go the easy way. Well, I did try that first.

Yeah, at least try, start with the easy way. Yeah, can you give me the paper? Because it'd be silly to try the hard way. way that doesn't go well. Then the easy way works. Yeah, I'm just doing that. Oh,

the doors unlocked the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shouldn't have been climbing over the, trying to go down the chimney. Yeah. Front door's open. God, I'm a fool.

That's, I'll tell you what, that's Santa every 24th of December. Yeah. Just quietly. Mate. We left the door unlocked. Just knock on the door.

Yeah. You're a beloved figure. We'd love to see you. Everyone would love to see you. Yeah, but I think then like... Oh, it's small talk. Yeah. He doesn't.

Yeah. He's an introvert. He wants to dash. Dyn and dash, grab a carrot. He's an introvert. No, you're right. I don't want to... It would take forever, wouldn't it?

Yeah, yes. And... I'd chew his fucking ear off. It'd be the same questions every time. Like, how do you do it? Yeah, I can't tell you, obviously. Big night? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How long have you been working for? Bet you're a bit sick of milk. I bet you're looking forward to having the rest of the year off. Yeah, so like that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, we have to make the toys as well. Yeah, it doesn't take an entire year to make the toy.

Boys. Ignorant, see, this is what I mean. Like, it just wears him down. Yeah. He'd rather go down the chimney. So if you bust him, he just quickly just runs with the chimney and starts climbing.

I don't want to talk. So then the 61-year-old Japanese beekeeper Shintani, who initially didn't want to get involved returned, and he spoke with Nishikachi, Harada's house. And obviously, he was like, all right, I'll help you out. So on Friday, December 12, 1941,

Shintani, the beekeeper, went to the house of Kalei Hano and attempted to abjected to abut. and attempted to obtain from him the papers Kaleihano had taken from the pilot out of his plane. Shintani stated that it was, quote, life and death matter, and indicated he decided just to destroy the papers by burning. Kalei Hano showed the papers to him,

but refused to give them over, even though Shintani offered a large money bribe of $200. Yeah, which would have meant nothing to him, I'm guessing? He's like, I'm a prisoner. Oh, no, so this is... Oh, the other way around. Yeah. Gotcha.

This is the local Hawaii. I'm like, why are they bribing this Japanese man with American money? Then I've got to go to a currency exchange. I don't know what that is. Now, he offered the money to Kalahe-Hana, who's the guy that first found the pilot and took his gun and papers before offering him a delightful breakfast. So this is the hard way is bribery? Or is this still the easy way?

It's a little easy way. Going up and be like, can I have them back? It's really important. And when he says no, all right, I guess it's going to have to be the hard way. Can I have my gun back? Because I'm about to threaten you with it to get those papers. It's a lot easier to threaten you. with a gun.

So a few days went past and Harada decided to fully help the pilot. This is the Harada whose house he's staying at. It's such a weird position. Harada's in part going, they see me as a Japanese man anyway. You know, if I stay loyal to the island I'm on, who's to say, they're not going to turn on me later? So I'm going to turn on then first. You can break up with me.

I'll break up with you. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're all like having someone, a bit of propaganda in the being like, well, your country's going to lose, and then it's all going to be, you're all going to be speaking Japanese here anyway, you know, may as well be on the winning side early. I already speak Japanese.

Yeah. All right, I mean, I'm talking, figure it like, this is a bigger thing, man. God. Everything's so black and why with you. It's trying to be theatrical. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.

And scene. So he's like, all right, I'll help you. He stole a shotgun and a pistol. from the unoccupied ranch owned by the Robinsons, the people who own the island. Being the paymaster, he had a key to the ranch. He then hid the weapons in a warehouse nearby that used to store honey.

He's like, I'll come back for you later. He's talking to the honey. I need a little sweet pick me up. He's a little winnie to poo. I'll come back for you later. Then he got home and he told the pilot Nishikachi about the weapons had stolen. At this point, there was only one guard on duty.

Remember they'd ask for five. the pilot asked to use the restroom, which was an outhouse. Now, the only phrase, this would have come in handy for me here, because the only phrase I remember from my seven years of Japanese in primary school is, can I go to the toilet? Okay. Because the teacher wouldn't let you go unless you asked in Japanese. Classic.

And it's something like... A lot of pissy seats in that classroom. I'd just be pissing myself for one sooner. Toori ni eti-moye, deska. Ah. And I once asked the Japanese speaking person, is that, and they said, that's kind of close. Yeah. We wouldn't know what you mean.

That's good enough for me. I don't know why you're pissing left or on center though, Dave. It's like an out of control fire. Yeah, that's the teacher being like, you can't go on. I'm being like, well, fuck you. I'm pissing the left, right, center. That class was covered in my piss. Okay.

And then they said, all right, next time just go. Yeah, just go. Just go. Or just learn the phrase. Just learn the phrase. I've got it written on the board here. Come on. So, Harada and the guard followed Nishikachi to the outhouse.

And when he ended her, finished up. Herada said, this is the local guy, that he had to do something at the warehouse, and the guard wasn't suss at all, and happily went with Harada, and they took the prisoner Nishikaichi. Then when they got there,

Harada produced the hidden weapons and locked the guard inside the warehouse. Wow. With the honey, I imagine, so that's pretty good. So he's all right. He's got all the honey. Suckers. The guard's wife soon arrived,

I imagine looking for him, and she arrived on a horse-drawn wagon, and Harada and Nishikachi now acting as a team horse jacked the woman and ordered her to drive them to the house. Yes, that is a phrase that I invented. And ordered to drive them to the house. That's all like you could flip it around and you're really changing it up. Jack the horse woman.

Yeah, very different. Yeah, very different. Very different. Makes you think, doesn't it? Words. Woman the jack horse. Woman the horse. That's true.

You know, words, you've got to put them in the right order. They're powerful. They're powerful words. Gotta put them in the right order. Otherwise, the meaning will change. Words. So they jacked off this horsewoman. And then they ordered it to drive them to the house of Kalahehano.

The man who had first come across Nishikachi when you crash landed. he'd been the one he'd been the one they'd taken the papers on the pilot's pistol and they presumed he still had them so they went straight to his house uh calahe yano was not at home so the two men detoured to the nearby broken down plane they tried the radio but it didn't work so then they went back to calahe yano where he had been hiding in the outhouse hiding on the shitter he'd been hiding on the shitter that's why then when they knocked him they come out come out he didn't come out because he'd already run to the toilet to hide he was in the toilet he was in the toot and whilst he's in I imagine he used to.

Yeah, well, wouldn't you? I think it's kind of like, it's Pavlovian. You get near a toilet and you're like, it's Puvlovian. And you're like, I do need to go, actually. Yeah. Especially if you're sitting on it. What about, because I mean, you know that feeling when you really need to go to the toilet

and you're rushing to get into your house or whatever. And as you get close to the toilet, you're like, it's coming. That's Pavlovian. That's probably. Yeah. And you just, you realize you can start to relax a little bit. Yeah, but not too much. Well, you can.

I lost my sphincter in an accident. Can never relax And we will not talk about it We won't talk about Don't have to go into it But you know that David I'd ask you to be a bit more sensitive Yeah

Please Sorry It's your schfincter privilege Yeah Your perfect schvictor Oh my god You could just donate the inner ring I don't know if that's possible

But I'll do What's happened I know I was talking about a schvictor transplant Partial He also just did a song about words I know Like

I think we're all hungry. I'm so... But it's like, this is the first thing we've done today. Like this, I'd expect in the afternoon. Yes. So who knew it? We record load. It's going to be unhinged.

It's going to be a few words in that, I reckon. Oh, we're going to get sleepy. And it'd be really low energy. But by then, we would have had a pizza by then. Yeah, it's true. Oh, fuck. Now I could go pizza for lunch. Yeah, I really could.

Is that place around the corner that sometimes works with the studio open for lunch? I don't know, but yeah, maybe we could cash in some free pizzas. Oh my God. Yes. Well, without telling Evan. Evan, we've used your free pizzas. Evan, I know you get a pizza every month or something. Well, not this month.

Not for the next three months. We got one inch. So, they've gone to Kalahano's house. He's not there. They've gone to the plane. They've come back. He's run out of the toilet. So Harada fired his.

shotgun at him, missing the man. And who remember is one of his neighbors. They live on the island together. And he's now shooting weapons at him. Oh my God. So Harada, he's a local. Yes. Japanese descent.

And he's turned to the crash landed Japanese man. Yeah. And he's just shot at the guy who was guarding him. You know, he shot at the guy who they think has the papers and the pistol. Right. The first guy who found him. So he's shooting at him for just the, scare him off?

This is the hard way now. To stop him running away, yeah. She's got him on his person. And it's tricky because they don't know. He could be on his person, could be in his house, he could have stashed him somewhere. Oh, they are American. Shoot now, find out later. Am I right?

Oh, that's cops. I don't know. I added that out later. Do you mean? Well, it's just so interesting because Harada has sort of changed. He's so quickly gone with what the Japanese, like, pilot has said. Yeah. But it's one person.

It's one person telling you Japan's going to win this war. Yeah. I'd be wanting to like back that up a little bit. Yeah. You know? Okay. But they obviously don't have easy contact with other islands or the outside world. It's a bit of a like they're sort of having a bit of a freak out.

Yeah. On the island. I think this is what I should do. And now like it's escalating exponentially fast because now he's shooting at one of his neighbors. Yes. Wild. He's lived on his island for decades. Yeah.

Probably not into the long time. It's wild how quickly it can happen, you know? I'd shoot you in a heartbeat. Yeah. If someone told you that, what? Oh, no, that doesn't agree. Yeah, yeah. Just if I had a gun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is why it's important that you don't have one. Correct. Yeah, and you know that. I know that. This is something that people don't say about you. You don't have self-control with a gun, but I think it's really nice. You could get a gun.

Probably. You'd be, like, it would take a little bit of time, but you could get one. Yeah, they're more heavily regulated here and that you have to register and yeah. But you could go on and you choose not to. I choose not to. Because you'd know you'd kill me with it. That's right. I would kill you with it.

I'd just have to straight away. Yes. Sorry, thank you for not killing that. Thank you. Would you kill anyone else? But definitely me. Oh, absolutely. And I know where you live.

Yeah. Bet anyone else? Thinking, thinking, thinking. Like, let's say there's an intruder who's about to kill your dog. Is it you? Yeah, is it you? Or are you already dead? I'm already dead.

Okay. Intruder's trying to kill the dog. Look, I'm not going to shoot now to ask questions later. So I'd probably try and reason with them a little bit first. Right. See if there's something else I could offer them. You know? Yeah.

Okay. But I would kill you immediately. Yes. Thinking about it. Okay, well, that's, yeah, no further questions. Great. I don't think my psyche could handle it. A group of friends went to, when I was in Thailand with a group of friends as like,

we were 21 or something, everyone went, we went to a, like a gun range and they were shooting all sorts of insane. Is it, have you ever? And I never, I didn't participate. Has there been a single year of your life, you didn't go? I'd get back on a plane. I would come and I would kill you. You seem you've traveled a lot

There's trips I don't even know about I've traveled less than Dave Oh yeah well Yeah Moneybags McGee over here We're lucky We're lucky we're more of it In travel so much

Yeah that's true Man I'd like to be traveling How good is it We should do a tour Okay Let's look into that To Japan

Oh my God I'm so keen If you're listening In Japan or Hawaii We've got the mailing list We're going to go to places where people we know are going to be there. Of all of Asia, because there's a section of Asia, Japan, Tokyo is the number one. But I think it's only like 30 people or something to sign up.

So if you are listening and you're like... I'm in Japan. If we could get like 100 people there, maybe we'll go. It's on. That'd be awesome. All right, sorry, let's get back to that. All right, so he shot the shotgun at Kalihana. Thankfully for Kalaya and he missed.

He ran, he pissed, and then he informed the rest of the village what the heck was going on. because this is all very sudden that this guy that they were sort of semi-guarding but friendly with is now on a rampage with one of their other locals. They've both got guns. So most of the residents fled to remote areas of the island for their own safety. Akeleiano then snuck back to his own house and Nishikachi was no longer there. He grabbed the documents that Nishikachi wanted so badly and then went to his mother-in-law's house, hid them there, before taking off on a horse heading for the northern part of the island

where he hoped to light a signal fire to alert outsiders that trouble was brewing. Wow. This guy's cool. He sounds like a badass. He's badass. He's like a real taking troll of the situation. I'm picturing the rock playing this character.

That'll be sick. If I can be honest, yeah. And then the problem was he's badass, but he's a little bit clumsy, and he accidentally lit the papers on fire and he hid the... The signal fire. And his mother in the house.

Yeah. She's come home and gone, what are all these sticks? Yeah. What is this? Oh, no. Damn it. So when he arrived at Mount Paniow,

which is Nihau's highest point, he discovered that some other men had already started a signal fire. What are they signaling? I had that idea, too. Same idea. Oh, okay. Shit's going down. We've got to tell people outside.

Not wanting to take the chance of the authorities immediately, seeing the fire and understanding the peril, the far of the island was in. Kaleighana grabbed five others and set off in a boat to get help. It was midnight and the journey would take ten hours. Oh, wow. So they jumped in. One way.

Okay. Well, but they'll be able to get back quicker on a sort of flying machine. Or a more powerful. Some sort of fantastimogorical flying machine. It takes ten hours to fly from here to Hawaii. Is that true? Yeah. Should we go there for pizza?

He's really hungry. That probably makes the most sense. No, but it's the only few places that don't have Hawaiian pizza. Should we bring Hawaiian pizza to Hawaii? My God. We could make a really big amount of cash from tourists. They will fake us. Where's the Hawaiian?

Oh, right here. Come to Keith and Bruce's Hawaiian Pizzeria. We've also got Aussie. We've put egg on it. We crack an egg. That's an Aussie thing. Weird for some reason. We love it.

It was the only thing people hadn't done, So we went, all right, we'll do that. Don't mind an egg on a pizza. I don't mind it either. So they went in a boat for 10 hours. They made it and then they called the owner of the island Elma Robinson. It was obviously pretty shocked by the story. He'd been trying to get to the island for days but was told he wasn't allowed to break the naval blockade.

But with this new information, he was able to convince the local commander to send a boat to Nihihau and sort out two gunmen on the loose. Back on the island, the pilot, Nishikachi and his... his local accomplice, Herada, took the man they'd locked in the warehouse with all the honey and another local man hostage. What's happened to Harada's wife? You were saying she was sort of on board? Yes, but she's not with them. She's still at her own house.

Clever. She's hanging out. Yeah. I'll wait to see how this pants out. Everyone else has fled and she's like, I'll just sit there. Yeah, yeah, I was supporting whoever won the whole time. So they went back to the plane. This is Nishikachi, Harada and their two hostages, and stripped off its machine.

gun and ammunition before trying to burn the aircraft. Unfortunately, the cockpit didn't really catch light, which is embarrassing. Honestly, they're not very, they're not the best at this. They're not that competent. They then let one of their prisoners, Kaliki Kalima, go to tell Harada's wife, Irene, that he wouldn't be home that night. Okay. So they're like...

All right, but then you come right back here and you're back as a hostage. You come right back. Go tell her and then you come right back. History Net writes, then he and the pilot, apparently drunk with power, walked through the now silent village firing their weapons and yelling for Kalei Yano to surrender. Oh, they've lost their minds.

Meanwhile, Kalima, who was a hostage and then a messenger, of course, didn't go back to his captors, as probably instructed. Instead, Radden found his wife, as well as Ben Kanahelae, a local six-foot-plus Hawaiian sheep rancher known for his incredible strength. Okay, maybe this could be the rock. But now I'm thinking this is Jason Mamoa. This could be Jason Mamoa.

It's a big dude. It's a strong dude. Yeah. It's Aquaman. We can do better than Aquaman. So bad. So bad. One of the octopuss on the drums?

Is that that movie? Was that finding name? I think that is Little Mermaid. Yeah, that's Little Mermaid. Yeah, yeah. But also pretty good. That's so good. What a great song.

Under the sea No, it's not right, is it? No, it is, but if you start singing again, you'll have to sing the whole thing. And then the more... Everything's better down where it's wetter. The more time we take up, less pizza.

We'll be eaten, absolutely. Ben, Kenahelae and Kalima were able to sneak to the wagon. That's the big man and the other guy who'd escaped. Well, actually, you know, the messenger that didn't come back. They went to the wagon where the pilot had stashed his machine gun and ammunition. and they quietly stole it, going unnoticed in the daring raid. They were a bit like, we don't want you to have this. Yeah, that's a good call.

Unfortunately, they were soon captured when they tried to return to the village to get some food, along with their wives. So now Nishikachi and Harada had five hostages, and they returned to Kaleihano's house searching for the papers. They're desperate for these papers. They'd taken the weapons to keep them away from the army man, the pilot. it. Is that right? Yeah. And then they were captured? Do they still have the...

No, they'd stashed the weapons away. Like, they're basically just delivered it to them. No. They're like, oh, sorry, we thought you wanted this. Yeah. Oh. No, they don't have the machine gun anymore, which is fortunate. So they're like, we want the papers.

They went to Kalea's house. They're obsessed. They think he's got it. They, of course, couldn't find them, and they burnt down his house in frustration. Which, I guess you're like, if the papers are in there, they're burnt. But if they're not, you will never know they're not in there.

So they then forced, Strongman Ben Canahele, possibly Jason Moa, to search for Kalei Hano. Kanahele knew that Kalei Hano had already left the island in a boat, but he put on an Academy Award-worthy performance of pretending to call out and search for him. Like a parent playing hot and sick with a kid? Where are you? I'm going to have a look under the bed. Oh, not there.

Oh, under the pillows? No. Could it be in the pantry. I see two feet poking out. Couldn't possibly be anything to do with me. My parents, they kind of still tease me because playing high and sick with me, they'd go, Jesse, where are you? And I'd run out and go, here I am.

Jesse, you idiot. What an idiot. Just explain to the game. Do you want to come? Okay. No, that's on us because we keep saying, where are you? If people broke into your house and your parents were like, hide, hide, hide. The robber.

Yeah, the robber's like, anyone else, please come out. Are you, I'm here! Hello! And then she just charms the shit out of them. Yeah, that's right. And then kick them in the shin. So they're frustrated they couldn't find him. Nishikachi, who was armed with the shotgun and a pistol in his boot,

threatened that if they didn't find Kolea Heana, he would start executing people on the island. So stuff's really stepping up here. History net writes, the placid Nihihahuans were normally slow to anger, but by this time, they'd had enough. Speaking Hawaiian, the strong rancher Ben Kenahela demanded that Harada, a man he knows from the island, take the pilot's pistol. Harada refused.

Being a bit like, come on man, this is crazy. You've got to take this guy out before he starts killing our friends. Harada refused, but he indicated to Nishikachi that he needed the shotgun. A bit like, you have the pistol, I'll have the shotgun. As the pilot handed over the gun, the big man, Ben, Cana Heinehalei, his wife lunged at him. No. Nishikachi was too quick for them and he grabbed the pistol from his boot and fired off

three shots at Cana Helle, hitting him in the chest, hip and groin. But this really is like a Jason Mara. Now his pistol. Like something out of an action movie, this only enraged the big Hawaiian man who grabbed the pilot, hoisted him in the air and threw him against a nearby stone wall. Whoa. Just like piffed this man. Holy shit.

And just a heads up for the. listeners, there's a brutal bit coming up here that I will quote directly from history net, but if you don't want to hear the violent details here, you can skip ahead. So they've thrown the pilot into a wall, grabbing a rock. Kenaheli's wife began to bash the fallen pilot's head with rocks. Kenahela then drew a knife and slit Nishikachi's throat. What? Which is so full on.

Harada, you know, the local man, no doubt realizing that he had abetted a disastrous chain of events, jammed the shotgun muzzle into his own gut. I also read his mouth and he pulled the trigger. So he ended his own life. Both men were dead. It all happened so fast. Oh my God. Isn't that so wild?

So for people who just skipped ahead 30 seconds, the two insurgents. Yes. They're dead. They're both dead. They've taken that. One was taken out by Ben and his wife. The other man ended his own life, realizing that, you know, oh my God, what's happened.

The Ben's been shot three times. times. Yeah, Ben's been shot three times. And not, I mean, there's no good place to be shot. Especially three times. No, but those are all pretty important places and you're going to bleed out of them. Yeah, chest hip and groin. An army rescue party arrived for the next.

Fuck my kill, chest hip groin. Oh, fantastic question. Definitely. I'm going to fuck the groin. I think that's a good choice. Do you know what I mean? That's classic. It makes much sense for that purpose.

Mm-hmm. I'm going to, I'm going to marry the chest. Yeah. That's where the heart is. Oh, that's good. Yeah. And I'm going to, I guess, kill the hip. Yeah, hips are replaced all the time.

Absolutely. Hip replaces is the cliche almost. Exactly. Yeah. It's boring. You were two for one anyway. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. I think I'm happy with that choice. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, agree. Oh, thank you so much. We all agree. Fabulous.

Fuck the groin. And the army rescue party arrived the next morning. It was a little late, fellas. Yeah. Oh, thanks for joining us. I think it's a lot. Did I splutter? And I'm pleased to say that the hero of the piece,

Big Ben Kenahelae eventually recovered and was awarded two presidential citations, the Purple Heart, given to those wounded or killed while serving, even though it wasn't serving, and the Medal of Merit, which at the time was the highest civilian decoration of the United States in the gift of the president.

Wow. So you got this presidential award. Who was the president at the time? Of course. They would have been so stoked if it was Calvin. Yeah. Is it Roosevelt? World War II President.

USA. It was... It was Roosevelt. Roosevelt. Unless they went until after the war, which they might have because there was so much going on. There's a lot happening.

So this whole kind of, this whole thing only lasted a few days. Like as in the pilot landing, this main event was like a night. Like it was quick, right? Wow. Very dramatic. A movie, there's going to be a lot of just hanging out in the honey room.

Yeah. Apparently there is a movie of this that was suggested that I could check out by Henry, who suggested the topic saying, they made a really bad movie about this. But he's saying you could watch it. You could, but it's pretty bad. I think it's so low budget. You might have a bit of fun watching it. I see.

So, yeah, he got those awards. Wow. The National Archives note that Ben was the only one remembered as a hero. In fact, pilot Shiginori Nishikaiichi's hometown of Hashihama in Japan has a monument dedicated to him, engraved on it, Ari's actions over Wahoo. It said that he died in battle and has a stirring and poignant epitaph that says his meritorious deed will live forever. Wow. That's for the pilot. For the pilot in Japan, so he got a statue.

Yeah. It's always one man's terrorist, another man's. freedom fighter. Yep. It's true. How war works, isn't it? Yeah. The Nihihau incident, as it has become widely known,

was the subject of an FBI memorandum, authored by none other than Jay Edgar Hoover. And you can find it online that'll link to in the show notes. In it, he describes the actions taken by both the antagonists and the brave inhabitants of Nihihau. HistoryNet finishes by writing that Harada's widowed wife Irene was punished. They write, quote, thought to be a Japanese spy.

She was jailed on December 15th, 1941, and she was transferred to a military prison on Wahoo where she was reportedly questioned but held her silence. She was released in late 1944 and returned to Nihihau, embittered for life. So she went back to Niham. Which would be, like, it's obviously already a pretty small community where everyone knows each other.

And people would remember that, you know, your husband had helped this guy. Yeah. And she was embittered, as in she would just sort of was like harrumphing around. Hermpting around, yeah, I guess like, you know, her husband, you know, did die because of this chain of events. Yeah.

No, but probably ran a pause. Oh, right. She's going through the change. Yeah, that'll have you harumphing. Oh, yeah. That'll embitter you for life. Shintani, the beekeeper that didn't want to get involved at the stuff, it sort of helped by asking for the papers to be returned, was taken into custody and interned on a U.S.

mainland throughout the war, which is kind of his big worry, was kind of his big worry, was because he wasn't a US citizen and his kids were. And he was like, I don't want to rock the boat here, even though I've lived here for four decades. Yeah. With the post-war repeal of racial barriers to immigration, he became a naturalized citizen finally in 1960. Oh, wow.

But before that, many Japanese Americans faced a very tough time during World War II. The actions of Shintani and the Haradas, all Nihihihawans of Japanese ancestry were noted in January's 1942 Navy report as indications of, quote, likelihood that Japanese residents previously believe loyalty to the United States may aid Japan. Because that had happened in this isolated place, they sort of extrapolated from that. And it was a big reason that this happened. The National World War II Museum rights, at the time of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, about 120,000 persons of Japanese ancestry

lived on the U.S. mainland, mostly along the Pacific coast. About two-thirds were full citizens, born and raised in the U.S. Following the Pearl Harbor attacks, however, a wave of anti-Japanese suspicion and fear led the Roosevelt administration to adopt a drastic policy towards these residents. It writes, both alien and citizen alike. Virtually all Japanese Americans were forced to leave their homes and property and live in camps for most of the war. And it was the same here in Australia where we had a much smaller Japanese population, but about 98% of Australia's Japanese population were sent to internment camps during the Second World War. Wow. Interesting to note that despite both Pearl Harbor and the New York, and then

anyhow incident happening in Hawaii, the territorial governor of Hawaii rejected calls for the mass incarceration of the Japanese Americans living there. And I'd like to end on the territorial governor of Hawaii because his name was Joseph Poindexter. Oh. The best name. Normally, I would agree with you. But we heard from Guthrie, whatever the fucking... Scrimgower. Scrimgower.

And unfortunately, Joseph Poindexter takes a second point. place. Oh, you're true. I think I'm really pretty sure that Dave's just made up this story, and that's why he's quoting from a guy called Scrimm Shrepshire. Scrimm, Scramsra and Poindexter. Yeah, let's, yeah. I couldn't believe, I should check what other work Guthrie Scrimm's got.

Hey, stick up for yourself, Poindexter. I hope Guthrie's got Instagram. He says, freelance journalist, investigative journalist, it says on his LinkedIn. It's got 300 plus followers on. Twitter. Make that 300. You're re-signing up to Twitter. I'm getting back on there.

New York City based. He's written for Rolling Stone, Wired Business Insider. Insider. Insider. No. No. What?

Is he a stud? He's quite innocent. Oh, my God. Luke Perry. Guthrie, my man. He's a... He's quite Edson. He's hot.

What the heck? What the fuck? Not your value. Obviously, your name is your value. And that's incredible. Fuck. But yeah, he's a stud. Guthrie, what?

Shrong. Just type in SCR and you'll come up. I was saying, I found him on Instagram. I was saying Scrimgower. But you reckon Scrimgauer's right? Would you say that, Jess? It's G-E-O-U-R. I found him on Instagram.

Are you following this guy? Yeah, I'm going to follow him. Thirst traps? This is... This would be so bizarre. I was expecting the oldest man in the world. Me too. Assume that he was as old as the guy he was interviewing on the island, like, in his 80s.

The first thing that comes up is Guthrie Scrapyard. Okay. And then Guthry Scrimgower. Wow. Okay. Sorry, Dave. I'm happy to end on, I was going to end on Joseph Pointexter, but let's end on Guthrie Scrimgower. What do you have?

Do you have any tiles to tell? What was it? Pointex are going to say? Oh, no, I just wanted to say that that was his name. I thought that Matt would enjoy stick up for yourself, Point Dexter. It's fantastic. Yeah, but that's the Nihihau incident, a story I'd never heard of, and I would like to thank, again, Henry, for suggesting it both in the hat and on Patreon.

And he did such a great pitch that other people in Patreon obviously thought it sounded like a really interesting story too. But there's not heaps of it online, like all the sources that I quoted from and linked to are kind of it. So I'm not sure how Henry came across it, but I'm thankfully that they did because it's certainly an interesting part of history I wouldn't come across otherwise. Yeah, it's a really fascinating story. Yeah, and how quickly things can escalate from like you're giving this guy a breakfast. That night he's playing a song on a guitar to,

literally within 48 hours, he's shooting at, you know, your fellow people. Yeah, it's wild. Whoa. Absolutely wild. Wild stuff. Yeah. And a, you know, a positive ending for that community.

For the community. and obviously that community still lives under interesting circumstances to say the least. What's the succession plan for Keith and Bruce? Oh yeah, they got kids? I did read that in the Scrimgo interview actually. One of the brothers, I can't remember which one does have kids, the other one doesn't, and they haven't announced the succession plan yet, but I think it's assumed that it will go to one of their children.

Right. And the chamber will go on. The American government have tried various times to purchase the island, but they hold out so they don't want to sell it. I'd sell it, I reckon. To America? Well, yeah, no, good point. Well, I don't know.

I mean, I don't know who. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess it's really up to what the people on the island want. You would think they would want to be. They might be happy with how it is. Yeah, totally. It's hard to know. When I think of someone who owns an island, I think of like a billionaire and like, you know, it's like Richard Branson's island that you're saying before,

like it's got a resort on there, that kind of thing. But this is very, I think they live very basically, even the owners of the island. Well, that's why they don't live there permanently because they go back to check their emails and stuff. Like, what I would do is I'd sell that island, you know, hopefully the people to keep it as a sanctuary for the people that live there and the wildlife or whatever. But get enough money that you could buy your own private resorts. Yeah, with Wi-Fi. Yeah, and running water and stuff. Obviously, it'd be a bit smaller, but that's okay.

That's all right. Yeah, I don't have to shit in a hole. Yeah, live a life of luxury. Yeah. And still own an island, still tell people, you own an island. Yes, I'm going to my island for the weekend. But I think that they think of the outside, because of their religious beliefs, I think they think of the outside world as being a bit corrupted and evil.

And they're in this little enclave where they live by their beliefs, their Calvinist beliefs. Well, good on them. The last post, Guthrie hasn't been posting a lot later. Yeah, it hasn't been a very good. But about three years ago, his last post was photos in Kauai. Yeah, most of those posts. are in Hawaii.

But also, it's a bit of acting like, looks like in sort of low budget short films and web series. Oh, that's cool. Well, the article that I quoted a lot from that I'll of course link to, that was from August 27, 2025. So it's not that old. So he's been there pretty recently. Okay.

All right. And he was in Boston Children's Theatre's production of hair in 2013. So. 2013. Back when he was still child. Yeah. Okay. We hope. So, you know. There you go. There you go. Well, Dave, that brings to everyone's favorite section of the show.

Jess has just snuck out due to ongoing health issues. Doctors mandate. She goes for a walk around the block. But she's going to get us coffee. It doesn't matter. She might be back before the end of this. We'll see. We'll find out. We'll find out. Stay tuned, everyone. So this part of the show, we spend it. thanking who I call the greatest people on earth. I agree.

Yeah. Our Patreon supporters, these people make the show exist. They're making good. We started it existing and they're like the laugh support, keeping it going. Without them, we almost definitely would not still be doing it.

So we really appreciate their support. It means everything. And so, yeah, that's why we spend the last little bit of our, episode with Dave and I, Jess obviously, doesn't quite have the same level of appreciation for you. No, I'm only joking, of course. That felt too real. She loves you.

She loves you. Also loves a walk. We, yeah, we spend a bit of this time. Thank you those people. If you want to be one of those people, go to Patreon.com slash dogo on pod. It's probably linked in the show notes, I believe. But I think most of you know how to find things online. You know how to type.

And yes, the first thing we like to do in this part of the show is something called the fact quote of question section, which actually even has a jingle. I think it goes something like this. Fact, quote or question. Ding. Always remembers the ding. I, this time remembered this thing. And the way this works is, I've got three today, three of our great supporters on the Sidney Shanberg. Oh, we love that, Sydney, Schenberg.

Sydney, Schenberg, Sydney, Schenberg, level or above, get to give us a fact of quote of. question or a bragger or suggestion or really whatever they like. And these are the people that also are giving us direct topics now that we're getting other patrons to vote for. Yes. If you've got a topic you really want us to do, that's your chance. You have the direct line and then they go to the vote. Yeah, that's right.

The patrons vote. It's a system. And that's what leads to the quality of topic like today. And they also give themselves a title. First one up this week comes from Shazza. Shazza. And Shaz's title is Connoisseur

of perfectly lining up glassware and even numbers only five is okay in brackets. Oh, okay. I love our Shazza is a connoisseur.

Our Shazza has a question which is, Hi, friends, since last writing, I've a small brag. I got a job as a quality control chemist. I love being in the lab

and I can still listen to the pod while getting the work done. Ideal scenario. That's great. We can't do that, you know, when we're on stage or in the studio. Well, we're doing the pod. We can't listen to other pods, as much as I love to.

But we listen to the pod we're making right now. Oh, that's true. We're sort of in the pod. Yeah. And the pod is in us. Yeah. But imagine if we're like, sorry, yeah, just listen to the latest philosophy. Can you just to keep it down over there.

Shazza goes on. The other day, I was washing the glassware and I realized that I only have 900-mill volume. metric flasks. Apologies if I'm not saying that, right? I can instantly hear Jess saying one more or four less. My question is, there was an echo of just saying that,

she's furious down the road. My question is, if you could be any piece of chemistry classware, which one would you be in white? I mean, luckily Shaz her answers, but the only one I can really think of is...

At the end of the thing I'm thinking of. Yeah. The conical flask. Oh, the conical flask is Great call. I was thinking of the, what do you call the little tubes with the round bottom and they have to sit in conical flask? Or is that what I, is that what that is that what that is? No, no, no.

I think I think that's called them test tubes, don't they? Test tubes. I was thinking test tube, but the conical flask is brilliant. What an elegant piece of glassware. And he can do a real swill down the bottom and it won't come out the top. Oh, that's, yes. Can I change my answer to a conical flas? Yeah, you could also have a beaker.

Oh, yes. That's, like, a beaker's useful for like the kitchen. as well. Yeah, beakers, beakers are great, but they're, they're not as cool looking as a conical flask. Yeah,

I'm going to go conical flask, but I was thinking, what did you say I was thinking? Uh, test tube. Test tube. Test tube. Yeah,

classic test tube. I mean, they're pretty fun as well. It's fun to have a bit of glassware that can't stand up on its own. Yeah, you need the extra support. Stand up for yourself,

point Xx way, saying that to a test tube. I would, I want to know if we're a hack and Chazzo some ones that I wouldn't have even heard of. Chad, she did also ask why. I think it's just that conical flask just looks awesome. For me, it's just the swilling capability. Yeah, it looks like someone I'd be able to drink out of that.

Yeah, for sure. Like if you go to someone's house, if they had that for drinking out, you'd be like, oh, a bit eccentric. Wasn't there a bar in Melbourne at some point, like 20 years ago, 15 years ago? Oh, there was. Down one of the laneways. Yeah, it was all science-based glassware. Well, the whole place

For a while There was a comedy festival venue as well Yeah People did Like had like a 30 seat What was that place called? It was called the Something Lab or something

Yeah I'm thinking of the exact same place You're thinking of it But Um Anyways Anyway a little eccentric So

Shazer rise My answer is a 400 mill Beaker The beaker is such a versatile piece of equipment It is It's helpful It's helpful

A helpful daily But also Not But not But not also very accurate I don't fully know what that means. I guess it's also not very accurate. I can.

But it feels like it is very... It's 400 mil, but it's 400 mil, not that useful. Because often things will ask for 2501 cup or 2 is 500 mil. The beaker is such a versatile piece of equipment. Comma, is helpful daily, but not also very accurate. This is the science linger that is not connecting. I think it's the most important thing to have in a lab, but can also

but use as a general cup. I agree. So with Codicle Flast, like we're saying, you could sup from that. Here's a link. If you want to have a look at what there is, thanks for always providing laughs.

Oh my God, there's a link to westlab.com.com. You slash consumables slash glassware. Wow. And this is where, oh my God, Dave. Oh, we're in glassware heaven over there.

moly look at this guy volumetric flasks borosilicate Class A with a P.E. Stopper. Yes please. Yes, believe. What they put that in for free? There's, I mean, what a range. I thought there would be ones that we'd never heard of.

But yeah, I think that none of them be what you suggested, Dave. I've got to get the conical flask. Fantastic. Great question. I'm glad I'd have an answer for it. I've got to tell you. I've never been asked that one before. me. What's your favourite piece of chemistry glassware?

And why? I've never, I've never, I've forgotten it again. What was the test tube? I never would have come up with that. Test tube. It's too obvious that I can't. Yeah, but so obvious I was like, there's got to be a more scientific name that I've forgotten.

No, test tube. That's the one I remember with your Bunsen beaker. Bunsen burner. Bunsen burner. You put the beaker of the Bunsen burner. Yeah, the Bunsen burner and you, you know. It sits on that little, uh, little mesh sort of platforms that it can get heated up.

There's the safety flame. Which honestly looks more impressive. Yeah, that's the big yellow bit. Yeah, but then you have the smaller blue one. Safety flame. Yeah, because you can twiddle your fingers through it. Yeah. Just like Heath Ledger did in 10 things I had about you.

I forgot that you did that. I was going to say a knight's tail. I'm like, mate, that's my move. Hath's told my move. Hayes was all of us in that movie. I like how I didn't even put on it. It was just an Australian guy. What a guy.

That's the dream. You get cast and stuff, you don't have to put on an accent. Went for an audition recently with an American accent. I'm like, is there any chance this character going to be Australian? Hey, guys. That's great.

He. He, er, yeah. Hey, now. He now. He now. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. All right. Okay, hey. I'll read the next one in my attempted American accent here. General American. General American. That one was specifically a Southern state, but I went general Southern. This next one comes from Bob McBobbington, Bobby Bubbington,

aka the president of Spending How is making something only to decide not to use it. and Bob is asking a question. Bob writes, while I was sat on the sofa, on the sofa with a bad back, looking at a tube, I had wasted hours, machining,

and ended up not using for an X-mas present, I started thinking about old stuff and how old Matt is. And a question came to mind, what is the oldest thing you own? I have a metal, work lathe that's a bit over a hundred years old, which originally would have been on a royal

navy ship. It's a drummond admiralty, and I'm not sure if it would have been powered by a treetle or hooked up to some power from the ship's engine, but has since been converted to use an electric motor. It's not an amazing shape. It's not in an amazing shape, and it's a missing bits, but it's okay for the age. I also have a pillar drill from the 60s, which is really nice. Thanks so much for riding into us, Bob. Thank you so much, Bob. And what was he doing with a tube or a tube? He was watching it. Watching a tube. He was looking at a tube. A tube. He was looking at a tube. He made this, he made this tube for a Christmas present. Okay, no more questions. Could it have been a test tube?

Test two. What are the arts? Do you own any really old stuff? Gosh, obviously you've been around for a long time. Yeah. You've moved house so often. I think my bass amp is older than me. Oh, really?

I think it's like from the, yeah. Did you inherit it? No, I bought it second hand from, um, what was it called? Someone house of music. Troy's House of Music. In Ringwood? When I was growing, when I was in early high school, we would go to Troy's House of Music in Ringwood. I don't think it's there.

Maybe it wasn't real. I can't remember. I had to catch a train, you know, a couple trains and, um, choice house of music. Yeah. Oh, that piano, I have no idea how old it is. And Dave, I really think it would be good in your home. You're a musician.

The piano would be pretty old. Yeah, it's got to be. And no, thank you. Oh, for me, old stuff. I've got a few things I've inherited from my grandparents. A couple of old, like, you know, those Toby Jugs. Oh. Like characters.

And they're basically like a mug, but they call them Toby Jugs. I've got a long John Silver one. I think that's probably from. I've never heard the term, but yeah. Probably from the 50s. I've got one of Pops, one of Dad's Dad's, like, he got this plate given to him after the Second World War for like, you know, commemorating service. So that's, you know, from the 40s. Oh, yeah, I've got like one of my grandma's old books where she, like, in high school

had been given like an award or something and it was like, and the prize was a book and it's got her name in the front of it. So that would have been like, the 30s or something. Yeah. I don't think of anything else. Yeah, I feel like, depending on where you live in the world, there'd be things that are so, so old. Yeah, they're like, no, I said old. Yeah, my house is like 400 years.

old. Yeah. Hey, it's Boppa. Hello, Jess is here and she's got a green drink for me, which is a pistachio, a coffee for Matt, and a blue drink for Jess, which is very exciting. And a cookie! Full range of colours. We just said the question there, oh, firstly, you've only missed two fake quota questions.

Great. First one is, what's your favourite, what's your favourite, like scientific glassware? Oh, Beaker? Fantastic. Well, you agree with the question. Shazza, who is a professional chemist? Oh, love that. Dave convinced me of the, what was it?

I love the conical flask. Oh, a conical flask is fun. And now Bob McBobbington. But Matt couldn't remember the word test tube. Test tube, I couldn't remember test tube just then either. I was like, what are the logs skis little boys? The rounded bottom. Test tube.

Exactly what Matt. Yeah. Matt and I have the same person. What's the oldest thing you have at your house? Oldest thing. He's got an old, an old lathe that's over 100 years old. That's cool.

I have a like a little pot, like a pot plant pot that my grandma gave me that was like her moms or grandmas or something. Oh, that's cool one. It's really old. Yeah, probably something from grandma. I was going to say jewelry from grandma, but I think that was bought in her lifetime. Ah, interesting.

Yeah, a couple of things from grandma that I've inherited. but they're like, unfortunately it's not land or... Well, that's the thing, isn't it? You go to land? You go to land? I mean, billions of years? But it's just like a little teapot thing that's been in the family for many generations.

I tell you what, I'm going to pick up a rock on my home and that's... Now I'm going to have a new answer next on Bob Arson. Oh, that's good, yeah. I've got a rock, that's really good. I've got this rock. Who knows? Thousands, easily.

Geologically speaking. Is that the wrong? it's real old. Real old. I thought it's been like got a cut full of sand. Yeah, that's pretty old. It's fucking old, man. I mean, all of our,

all the molecules make us up. Yep. My bones. We're there at the Big Bang. Is that wrong? I think Bill Broson told me that. Oh, guys, I'm going to see Bill Brasson tomorrow and I at the time of recording. I don't care.

And I don't want to hear about it. Are you excited, though? You can message Dave about it after. I'll message him during it. I got cheap tickets. Probably won't be able to see him. Either of you have opera binoculars? You seem like the types.

That's one of the oldest things I own. Actually, I do have an old pair of binoculars from my granddad, but not opera ones. You would just look like a bit of a bird watcher that's got lost. Yeah, I'm happy with that. Thank you so much to Bob for that question. The last one this week comes from Nell, aka second favorite child.

Depends on where you're putting your emphasis there. Also. Second favorite child or the second child, who's also the favourite child. Second, yeah. That's my situation. Yeah, me too. My thought was it depends on like how many children there are because if there's 30.

Yeah, number two is awesome. But if there's two, it was like three. There was an Olympian ass this week after winning a couple of silver. Yes. If it was happy to win silver, does it feel like two chances where you lost gold? Was it two golds lost or two silver's earned? And she just like schooled and fro.

It was so good. She was like, the most decorated female freeskier in history. That is so odd. I didn't see that. It was so fucking bad. Like at first she laughs at him. Yeah.

And then answers. And oh man, it's very satisfying. I'm going to watch that straight after this. Yeah, it's good. So, Nell, second favourite child,

has a tribute. Ooh. Writing. Hello, Jess, Matt and Dave. I've been able to up my membership, which I've wanted to do since the very beginning. This is thanks to my late dad

or da, Warwick Arthur Smith. What a name. Was for short, I guess. Was a. I mean, hopefully, I'm saying that respectfully. Yes. Respectfully. Respectedly.

Before he passed, he told me, don't blow up your inheritance. I put the up in there. Don't blow your inheritance. Don't blow up. Her inheritance was T&T. Don't blow it up. I think he'd be okay knowing I've been able to repay the group of people who emotionally carried me through a messy divorce provided many laughs on lonely nights away from my young

son kept the episodes rolling through a global pandemic filled broken nights of sleep while feeding newborn babies in 21 and 24 and kept my company on countless commutes to and from work but this tribute is meant for my dear dar not for you three i wrote him this before he passed it doesn't feel finished but it is a tribute nonetheless. Four was for W-A-S. It was your strong hands that pulled me out from under the water when I took one step too far. It was your words of praise I sought in everything I ever did. It was the smell of your after-shaven tobacco, following you down the hall. It was the coffee on the balcony watching the puppies play. It was the gallery visits, the movies, the beach holidays.

It was live music, the record player, the radio in the car. It was Friday night football and gin rubbing on the rug. It was long drives and Pepsi and pies. It was childhood at its best. I thought it was forever. You will be forever was. Thank you for creating this pod. I'm so grateful to you now more than ever.

Oh my God. Now that is so lovely. Beautiful. Love that. I don't know if I'm meant to be saying was as an initialism or as an acronym, which is something Dave taught me. Uh-huh. In like episode four or something, I reckon. Do you remember?

Yeah, I reckon WAS was. Oh, that's so nice. That's so lovely. I just held it together there. Yeah, beautiful words. Hmm. So sweet. Oh my God.

So lovely. Cheers, Nell. Bob and Chazza fantastic round of fact quotes and questions this week if you want to get involved Sydney-Shaunberg level or above on the Patreon The next thing we do we shout out to a few of other great supporters

who are on the shout-out level or above and Justin only comes up with a game for this part Yes I do That's actually so true Pizza What are you putting on a pizza? Oh, wait. Where they're there from, right?

We call it the whatever pizza. Yes. And it's just a thing that they probably wouldn't have there, but maybe you could... Great. You know what I mean? Yep. Me and Dave will do the thing.

You do the topping? Sure. Because you're a pizza fissionado. Mm-hmm. All right. Dave, I'll do the place you do the name or vice versa. Happy with that? Yeah.

Have it with that. Oh, address unknown for the first one here. Can only shoot from deep within the fortress of the malls. So I was going to see if there's a pizza topping generator. Oh, I love it. All right, well, just loads that up. This person, like Matt said, isn't the Fortress of the Moles, but we'd like to say hello and thank you down there in the Fortress to Hazel Francis.

Oh, my God, I love that name. Where are they from? They're from Fortress of the Moles. Oh, Fortress of the Moles. Great. Okay. So what are we calling the pizza? Well, I guess the Mollish.

The Mollish. The Mollish pizza. And it's got, so this is great. So I have found a pizza topic generator, and it gives you four topics. Okay. Oh, okay. So you're going to build it for us? Yeah. So it's got Philly steak, bacon, beef crumble and tomatoes. That's so good. It's a cheesless pizza. I've gone for a, um, this is veggies and meat. I can do just meat or or vegetarian. We're assuming cheese, I guess. Oh yeah. Still look the tomato sauce and the cheese. Right. When they said tomato at the end, I'm like, wait. You can have fresh tomato on a pizza as well.

Of course you can. And I'd recommend that you do. Ah, that's so good All right, next one comes from London in Great Britain Hello, and thank you to George Just so you know who are your email includes the number one in it Okay So George number one

And the London And the London The London Black olives Sausage Yes Beef crumble again I don't know what that is

And me either I'm not looking into it And roasted red peppers Oh that sounds good That sounds pretty good Beef crumble is good Yeah beef crumble doesn't sound I don't, it doesn't sound like I want on a pizza.

I imagine it's like ground beef. Okay. Oh, okay, yeah. So like sort of a mincey sort of. Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, that's all right. I hope that, I mean, it feels like this AI you're using. I assume it is a highly trained AI.

Yes. Is just obsessed with ground beef. Okay, so on the Woolworth's website. Me too. At the Primo Cook and Create. Yeah, which is a crumbled beef and it says for a delicious supreme pizza. So there you go. It is like a ground beef.

Okay. I've never heard of it. Oh my God. Lola Land, Los Angeles. It's Owen Eubel. Oh, my God, great name. Sorry, I've put an extra R in the... The L.A. Pizza.

Yeah, I was going to say order in L.A. from me. Could I get a... Hey, one out of my L.A.? Pizza. We're in a pizza shop, so I just say. You need a name for the order. How about Owen Eble? Erb.

It's E.B. I put an R in there, Erbal. Sure. but it's e-e-e-e-e-e-berle. E-berl. Maybe it's E-Berl. E-Berl. I'm so sorry that I've stopped this out.

Now you're the chef, so I'm yelling ingredients at you. We're going to need sausage, hot banana peppers, Brooklyn pepperoni and mushroom. Oh, coming right up. That sounds like, that could be good. Again, I don't clearly know what some of them are. I was like, bleak, but it's hot banana peppers. We're going to need a Torrance pizza from Torrance in California.

Who's all right? Who's it for? Noah Anderson. Again, beef crumble, pepperoni, mushroom chicken. Meat heavy, that one. Meat heavy. And because mushroom meat for vegetarians. From Flemington here in Melbourne, Victoria.

We're shouting out to Suki and Minty. What a name. It's got pepperoni, green pepper, baby spinach and onion. Again, fantastic. That sounds yummy, really good. That's the Flemington. From Seattle in Washington. From Seattle.

Oh, my gosh. The names are the. best. Rex Quimpo. Whoa. Run that town for T&D. All right. Rex Quimpo.

That's really good. Pepperoni, jalapino peppers, baby spinach, green pepper. Lots of pepper. It's a spicy one. That's a bit colorful too.

I'm far, man, I'm so in a hot peppers at the moment. It's because you're old and like you need to feel something. You need to feel something. Yeah. They make me,

I'm going, oh, I'm alive. I understand. I'm alive and I'm sweating on the brow. From Amisfort in Uttek in the Netherlands. Maybe, NL.

I think that's right. Serynthian or Sirenthon Kist. Great name. Sirenthon Kist. The ingredient that started all of this, pineapple. Yeah, here it is. Can we just say that we have ordered pizzas in a tiny little break?

They are two minutes away. So let's get through this and I'll go get the pizzas. I've got a pineapple and mine. Pineapple, olive. Oh, green olives, black olives, chicken. I've got a chicken pineapple pizza coming up. Oh, I should have ordered two types of olives. That would have been.

the Amos Fort. Amos Fort, which I'm pretty sure Alaset Trumblae Birchel visited Amos Fort and hung out with one of our listener friends. Oh, who might also be a two in the think tank this one. Oh, I see. There is crossover. If I'm remembering that correctly, but maybe one day

we do an Amis Fort live show. Yeah. Next, again, from Adress Unknown can only assume from deep within the fortress of the mall. So this is kind of like the mole too. Yeah. And it's for Grace M. Ham, onion, sausage, mushroom.

Oh, ham sausage. Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot. And finally, from Maryville, Tennessee, maybe in the United States. Big shout out to Kathy with a K. The Maryville? That's going to be a Philly steak, halapinos, beef crumble and bacon. They've done it.

I actually would eat that. Maryville. If you've got cheese and tomato as well. Yeah. That's a good thing. That's nice. But I don't think you're on a family sauce. No.

That on a thin crust. Gorgeous. Thank you so much to Kathy Grace, Serenathon, Rex, Suki, Noah, Owen, George and Hazel. Next thing we need to do is shout out to some of our great patrons supporters who've been on the shoutout level or above for three straight years. I might leave you to it then. Please do. Obviously, I already know that Jess is doing many Hawaiian pizzas and Pinacoladas behind the bar. It's actually the best thing she's served up for a long.

time. It sort of harkens back to when she sort of... Made food. Made food. Makes the get edible and drinkable. On the straight and narrow. I appreciate that. Have you booked a band?

Yeah, you're never going to believe it. Who's that? You're never going to believe. Oh my goodness. We were talking about Pearl Harbor, but now we're all going to be talking about Pearl Jan. Whoa! That's right.

Whoa. Even flow. Hey. But I've seen him a few times, very good. Oh, I've never seen it, but I... Saw Eddie Vedder solo at the... Can't imagine their quality live act. Yeah.

Elderly woman behind her counter in a small town. What a tune. Is that a great song? That's a Vedda solo. I seem to recognize. You know that one? I don't think so, but... I like to hear it.

Hey, it's Pearl Jam, but he played it solo. and at Pelham. Oh, there you go. I love it. Saw Pelham play at a festival in New Orleans. Really? Will they a headline act? Oh, one of them, I think, yeah.

Isn't it incredibly he to act like that? They're one of the headlines. Yeah, yeah. Because often of those American festivals, you're like, this? Yeah. Like the top five people could headline here. Yeah, totally.

That's awesome. So what are we even booking a band for, do? This is the Trip Ditch Club. I'm not sure if we said, this is for people who've been on the shouted level or above for three consecutive years. dropped off. So do thank them to enshrine them. We welcome them into our clubhouse. It's a bit of a theatre of mine kind of thing. People run on in. We give them a big cheer. Once you're inside,

there's food, drinks. There's all sorts of things. We talk about hockey. We've got slot machines and you always win, which is pretty freaking good. And we should say once you're in, you can never leave it while do you want to? Because you're surrounded by about a thousand of the greatest people on earth as well as all the best things. And we always have music. Today's Pearl Jam and food. And it's great. Jess has arrived. Dougie's here with the pizzas. Mama me.

How's about a tip? Work hard and be good to your mother. Now, we got four inductees this week. The way this works is I'm on the door. I'm going to read out your name. Dave's going to hype you up with a bit of weak wordplay and then Jess is going to hype him up. It was so funny, Dave was doing a weak word play before we started recording this episode.

And Jess was not hyping him up. And it was like... I wasn't on the clock. Wasn't on the clock. And Dave was like, what's happening? Oh, yeah. I did say, oh, that's too much context. But even with context, it sucked, you have to...

Did you have to repeat it? Knocky on some abs. If I said that in this... If I said that in this section, you'd be forced to hype me off, which I love so much. You'd be like, woo, knocky on those abs. All right, so we've got four inductees this week. I refuse to explain.

These people being on the chat. level for three straight years. Are we good to go? From Middlesbrough in Great Britain, please welcome in Daniel, Danielle Lindsay. The opposite of Daniel, it's Danielle. Well, like, Danny Heaven. Yes, there it is.

That's what I'm implying. From Scottsdale, Arizona in the United States. Welcome in David Green. Best I've ever seen, David Green. Man, I can smell that barbecue sauce. From Manly West in Queensland, Australia. Welcome in Hannah Hicks. Uh, Hannah, Cana.

I have a high five from you Sometimes it's hard to help you Woo Give him a high five Hannah Hicks Hickey You see I thought of him

I was a bit much Hannah Can I Have a high five Was better to you Canna Have a high five Hicks

Woo Now that's good It's going to move on Yes The landing sticks No It's hard It's hard

It's hard But Hannah We think you're freaking amazing Yeah. Won't throw a spanner in your works? No, yeah, yeah. That's not bad.

Better than fucking, can I have a huffer? And finally from... Jesus Christ. ...were big in New South Wales. Welcome in Zoe D.L. D.L and Pasco, more like D.L and Zoe. You remember that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, thank you. You really need to remember. Otherwise, I sound insane. But also, I think that that show really helped get the pronunciation of DL off the... Yeah, that's right. There's a Z in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you'd misread.

Well, I did in the past because Zoe's given some great questions for who knew it. Now you've got it. Love and unloaded. Welcome into the club, Zoe, Hannah, David and Danielle, make yourselves right at home. And this doesn't happen every week, but it is happening this week. We have an inductee into the Triple Triptage Club. Oh, my gosh. This is for people who've been signed up on the shoutout level for nine straight years.

Oh, wow. We open up the extra section of. of the place for you. A second velvet rope. Yes. And inside there's just like gold everywhere. And there's like Leonardo DiCaprio's painted your portraits. Yeah.

Like a French girl. Yeah. So it's a reverse Titanic. No, that is Titanic. Yes. I thought for the second, he was the French girl. No. He's not the French girl.

In this section, he can be. He'll sit for you if you want. That's how important you are. So this is just the 13th inductee into the triple triptage club. Now, they will also, for me, they'll be assigned an episode from our back catalogue, which they will be the caretaker of. I was thinking I might even go back into the old show notes and start putting caretaker in their name.

That's fun. That's fun. Dave, you salute them and say something that comes to your mind at random. Like a bit of a compliment. And then Jess gives you a kiss, air kiss. All right, so are we ready? We'll see. We'll see.

If it's there. We'll see. Maybe. Could be a big old sloppy patch. Sloppy push. Sloppy patch. I've got to actually look up which episode that I'm assigning them. And you thought, rather than searching the number, you'll scroll all the way back.

Look at 500 plus episodes. I'm actually a really quick scroller. Oh my God. A beautiful tribute. All right. Please welcome in to the triple tripditch club from Madison in WV State. West Virginia, Mama. Welcome in Tyler Thompson.

Tyler Thompson, you complete me. Salute. And you are now officially the caretaker of episode 13, Queen Elizabeth the second. Oh, long may she rain. Oh, wow. That brings us to the end of the episode. Welcome to the club, Tyler. I'll send you over to Leo,

and you can either paint him or be painted by him or whatever you like. He's on the clock. He'll do whatever you. Exactly. He'll do whatever you are. Whatever you want. And yeah, anything we need to tell people before we go, Boppa?

They can suggest a topic if they'd like. If there's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website. which is do go on pod.com and you can find us on social media. Do go on pod or do you go on podcast. Sorry, I got distracted because I was... Smelling pizza. No, because I was looking at who Guthrie is following and he's following us.

Did he follow us back? Oh, I must have followed us back. What? In the last 30 minutes? He hasn't posted for years, but he's still obviously... Yeah. Then I was like, I must be looking at the wrong thing, but no, followers. is us.

Sure. That's not right. But I think he's following... No, no. Yeah, no, I think so. Anyway, let's... What the hell. Guy's hearing this.

We're big fans. We're big fans of your work. Big fans of your work. All right, boot this baby home, Dave. Hey, we'll be back next week. Honestly, he would probably come up in his feed if he does follow us because... Yeah, he followed us back.

We'll put this episode out and he'll be like, oh, the Niki, Niki, how I've been to that island. What's your listing right now? Hey. Sorry for objectifying. And you're... Just based on your name, I expected you to be. be 80 years old and we're tweed and you seem like a young cool guy.

You look like... You're younger than us. You're like, you know, Luke Perry and... Yes. In Fifth Element, sort of. But also a great journalist. That's more important. I read your entire business insider article.

I think it's fantastic. I've linked to it below. If people want to read your great work, so thank you very much. Well, until next week, when we find another journalist to follow on Instagram... And objectify... Look, if he's listening for first time, don't make it sound like we do this all. We don't do this all the time. We don't do this all the time.

You are the... the only one for us. Yes. We'll be out next week with another episode. Until then, thank you so much. And until then, it's goodbye. And later. And bye.

And pizza. Woo! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out.

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