Do Go On - 543 - Stephen King

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Stephen King is one of the best selling authors in history and over 100 of his stories have been adapted for the screen. It, Carrie, Cujo, The Green Mile, Pet Sematary, The Shawshank Redemption, Salem's Lot, Stand By Me, Misery, The Mist, The Shining... King's work is intrinsic to popular culture. On this episode we look at the man dubbed "The King of Horror" and try to find out what makes him tick.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 10:16 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.biography.com/authors-writers/stephen-king#car-accident Stephen King: A Necessary Evilhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jeg8RhlA5m8 https://www.britannica.com/biography/Stephen-King https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_King# https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_King_bibliography# https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/may/01/stephen-king-tax-the-rich https://huntingthemuse.net/library/stephen-kings-writing-routine https://abcnews.com/GMA/Culture/tabitha-king-calling-calls-stephen-kings-wife/story?id=61409581 https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/502166/how-stephen-king-was-outed-richard-bachman https://www.theguardian.com/books/2000/sep/17/stephenking.fiction https://screenrant.com/stephen-king-shining-movie-stanley-kubrick-opinion/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dev Warnikey and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Hello. Hello, so good to be here. Jeez, it's good to be alive. That's a question. What do you reckon? Yeah. How good is it to be alive? Oh, great.

I was going to say, have you heard of a question before? Have you ever asked a question? I mucked it up. I mucked it up. But I actually think you covered it really well. Okay, thank you. Yeah. You know what? I'd love to tell you to how this show works. Okay, please.

So one of the three of us selects a topic, sometimes via a vote from our patron supporters, often suggested by a listener. We go away, we learn about it, we research it, and then we bring back that knowledge in the form of like a high school, I was going to say, audible report. What do you call it? Oral presentation. Sure. Audible report. Ideally, it will be audible. It will be. Otherwise, it's like, sorry, Timmy, can you please speak up? Yeah. I can't hear you out the back, sorry. Sorry, oh, no, I just made one of those, what are those diagram things called?

Diaramas. Diaramas. How do you understand what I'm talking about? One of those diagrams things. Like a pie chart? Anyway, and then we bring that information back, like I just said. Dave's doing the report this week. We normally get onto topic with a question.

Dave, do you have a question for us today? Yes, I do. My question to you both is, who is no? known as the king of horror. Matt Stewart. That is true. Bella Lugosi. Talked about him before.

That's not a bad. That's not a bad. That's not a bad, as Bella Lugosi would say. Like John Waters? John, John something? John Calvin King? Yes, the king of horror. It is Stephen King.

Well done, Jess. Thank you so much. I haven't heard of him. This makes a lot of sense. Have you heard of the King of Stephen? I now understand why you made us watch Shoreshank Redemption this week. That is correct. It's all making sense because we are talking about the work of Stephen King.

Yeah, the Stephen of horror is the other way. So Spielberg sometimes likes to spook you as well. Sure. Yeah, Stephen King, for our movie club this week that we put out on Patreon once a month, we get the Patreon supporters to vote on a movie. I put up five movies that are based on the work of Stephen King and the Shawshank Redemption One. We want to have a bit more Stephen King in your life this weekend, this Sunday, the movie club will be...

Fucking hell, AJ. Fucking hell, AJ. Come on, AJ. No. No, see it. He'll put it in now. AJ, I demand you delete this. Yeah.

Yeah. AJ, like Dave said, you piece of shit. Yeah, this is just for you now. You can put this at the end of the year thing where we really back you out a lot. Oh, don't be self-aware. Yeah, no. It's like what people go, oh, no, is that going to go the blooper reel? Yeah.

Oh, people go, are you going to write a bit of stand-up comedy about this? You're like, no, you're really dull. You're so boring. And what you just said is so offensive. You just dropped a glass. It's not that funny. I mean, it was pretty funny. Yeah, it's funny.

But then you said the racist thing and it really ruined it. Yeah, it ruined it. So anyway, I'm sure Aet left all that in. So if you want more Stephen King in your life, this weekend, the Shawshank Redemption is being covered on the movie club. Can I ask what the other options were? For the movie club? Stephen King based.

It was also voted for the top. So I thought, anyway, so I can go through that as well. But I put up the Green Mile. Oh, stand by me, one of my all-time favorites. Oof, yep, haven't seen that in a long time. What a range here has. Yeah. The Dark Tower, which is an adaptation of one of his...

Oh, I don't know that one. Moves through about 2017, that's McConaughey and Idris Elba together. Wow. A powerful combo. Can I just say, wow. Powerful combo. I'm glad that didn't get chosen. Too sexy.

Yeah, come on. I wouldn't be able to concentrate. Yeah, Dave, come on. Too horny. And the original running man with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right. I haven't seen any of those. Haven't seen the Green Mile?

No. Wow. Green Mile is... It's sad and beautiful. I had to... It's not all sad. It's, yeah, thank you. Finally, you get it.

Because Stevie Kay... She's so sad. Sometimes beautiful. Mostly sad. It's like you were written by Stephen King. Well, because he's known as the compliment. The king of horror. And I know Jess hates horror.

I had to work pretty hard to find five options that weren't horror movies. Because I'm not going to make you watch some of the full-on ones. Thank you. But, yeah. Great mile. Beautiful. But sad. But not horror.

Sam Rockwell's in it. I'll watch just about anything with Sam Rockwell. Beautiful but sad. Beautiful but sad. I currently have a weird bit of facial hair that looks like brackets. So everything I say is in brackets. So that, I mean, that's obviously more visual. Now I can't unsee it is the problem.

Yeah, don't know. I'm growing out around it. Thank you. There's a lot implied in that beard. Yes. Yeah. And it's mainly complimentary. Oh, this, just before we get started, just to annoy any new listeners,

funny thing happened last night, perhaps. My brother had his birthday, we had dinner, at the local, which is also a weekly comedy room. Oh, yep. And the bartender saw the booking was under, you know, my family, I'm Stuart. And I went up to get a beer and he goes to me, you're related to Matt Stewart. And I said, I am Matt Stewart. Because he knows me from the, you know, there every few months doing comedy.

but I, because I've shaved down my beard a bit, he's like, you look a bit like, you look like, yeah, you're, you probably, have you heard this before? You look a lot like. That's so funny. Oh, that was very funny. And great that he didn't say it to your brother who does look like he's related to Matt Stewart. And then, yeah, the rest of the, you know, as I had more drinks, I think I annoyed the man more and more, Sean. I went up and my dad was there. I'm like, do we look alike? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What can I get you? Yeah, yeah, he will not be forgetting you next. You're like, oh, it's like, oh, it's like, He's like, hey! He's like, yay! He's like, yay! He's a drop behind the bar. Nearly in the basement. Yeah, I've got to go fix something. All right, Stephen King, it's a commonly suggested one.

18 people have put it in the hat. And I'd like to give a little shout out right now and say thank you to anyone can suggest a topic at any time via our website or link in the show notes. But these people have suggested Stephen King over the years, over the, I'm talking about since the beginning of the hat very early on. So thank you to Brett Wall from Tees Valley, West Virginia. Kendra Mickles. from Western New York or the Buffalo area. Baylor Robert Barnard from Illinois. Tommy Elveta.

Tommy Alveta from Kearney in Missouri. Thomas from Graz in Austria. Must be our Mr. Thomas Dopper writer himself. Brian Elliott from Dover, Delaware. Aaron Wolf from Daytona Beach. Roger Quick from Lake Huntington, New York. Paul Benson from Basildon. Roger Quick, again, from Lake Huntington.

Roger Quick. Thanks, Roger Quick. Maddie Felton from Brisbane. uh, Sarm from the Philippines, Andy Johnson from the Wirral, Natalie S from Virginia, Tim Randall from Brisbane, Eric Harker from Springfield, Missouri, Dina or Dina Gottzman from Reston, Virginia. And finally, Harry from England. Whoa. It's a big list.

Huge list. Nearly no Aussie's in there. Do we not like that guy, Stephen King? Yeah. Yeah, well, he's an American guy. We don't like kings and queens. Mm-hmm. Republican. Yeah.

Yeah. They prefer those in America. Yeah. That's why we voted as a country to keep it. Exactly right. Before our time, before we were allowed to vote. Yeah. What would you have said?

I would have said, fuck off to the king and queen. With the queen at the time, even though I love her, of course. Long may she reign, Queen Lizzie the second. Yes. But also. The queen at the time and currently. Yeah. I'd say, look, thanks for everything you've done.

Yeah. And as I'm rolling my eyes. Yeah. But that'll do. Yeah. Because, yeah, keep on Queenie over there if you want to. Yeah. No pressure.

But we don't really need it. We're good. Yeah. Thanks. The main thing she does is be on our coins. Yeah. And have her flag in the corner of our flag. Yeah.

Which is embarrassing to me. It's a bit embarrassing. Now, just so you know, his name is king, but he's not a king. Oh, okay. So you don't have to hate him. That's good. That's good. Just to put you, like, so maybe a bit more in the middle before you decide whether you like or hate this guy.

Yeah, good that you've got that out of the way. I'd also say, you know, I like people from Britain. Okay. A bit controversial, but I'll say that. Why about Stephen King? Because he's from America. Maybe we should quickly say. He's from Maine, I reckon.

He's absolutely. Because that's why everything's set in Maine? I'll tell this story. He's a Coke fiend. How about before we jump into the report? I've personally, before this, I'd never read a Stephen King book. Have either of you ever dabbled with the King? Oh, sorry.

Have we ever read? I watched Shawshank Redemption Stand By Me. I've watched the recent It series. Welcome to Derry. Okay. And the movies too? Before that? Before that.

Which I really enjoyed. Not the Tim Curry one. What else is he done? Yeah, I don't think I've read any of his, but it sounds like I've certainly seen films. Did he write the R.L. Stein books? So I'd seen, I think I saw the one with Jack Black and that. Yeah. I saw the Goose Fun movie.

Yeah. Oh, I've seen Jumungi. Do you mind him? Yeah, yeah. Do you know that's based on a picture book? There you go. Oh, it's not based on a board game. No.

The more you know. The more you know. Ding ding, ding. So let's talk about Stephen King. And honestly, I put up eight people for the vote, like people that are titans of different industries on Patreon. They were all suggested by people on our Sydney-Shineberg deluxe package level, which we're now doing when people get to suggest topics,

and then we sort of whittle them down with a vote. And Stephen King, I was a bit like, how much is there about this guy? But then it won in a landslide. People want to hear about it. And after researching, I'm like, okay, he's done a lot. Okay. So let me tell you about it.

He's lived alive. He's lived alive, absolutely. Stephen Edwin King was born in Portland, Maine in 1947, the second son of Donald and Nellie Ruth Pillsbury King. His father was a travelling salesman and left the family. So he did a lot of traveling, when Stephen was a toddler. And his mother, Nellie raised Stephen and his older brother, David.

The family struggled financially. for several years and relied on the financial support of relatives spending time in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where his family was at the time, and in Stratford, Connecticut. Fort Wayne. Yeah, it's really good. It's almost as good as Denistation. Yeah. Fort Wayne and Denistation. I didn't pause long enough to give the kudos to Fort Wayne.

Fort Wayne. When he says it out loud, it does sound ridiculous. Dennis Station, Fort Wayne, Keith, Gary, Indiana. Yeah. These are all sort of spiritual siblings. And our spiritual homes. Yes. I'd live in any of them.

I feel at home at any of those. I feel at home at Fort Wayne. Felt home on Platform 2, Dennis Station. When he was 11, his family moved back to Durham, Maine, where his family now looked after ill parents. And, yeah, Maine is a big part of his life. During all this moving about, though, young Stephen had an early interest in writing, first creating his own short stories when he was just six years.

years old. He told the Paris Review in 2006. I was about six or seven, just copying out panels of comic books and then making up my own stories. I can remember being home from school with tonsillitis and writing stories in bed to pass the time. It's just like you, Dave. Could I have been Stephen King? You could have been if you stuck at it. That's the difference. But he pumps them out too, doesn't he? It's like kind of unbelievable. Right. And there was a movie that he released, was based on a book that came out like in the last few months where it's just like guys have to keep walking. It's like he'll just turn anything into a story. Yeah, yeah.

They're not allowed to stop walking. Yeah, okay. It's so funny. I've got a few synopsies of books that the ones I hadn't heard of. And it did really remind me of the Garth Morangi character from Dark Place. Who's a parody of horror writers when he just like lists dozens of books he's written, like including afterbirth in which a mutated placenta attacks Bristol. Some of these really do make me think like that.

Anyway, so he recalls when he was a kid showing his mother a story he copied out of a comic book. She responded, I bet you could do better. Write one of your own. He recalls an immense feeling of possibility at that idea. He said, quote, as if I had been ushered into a vast building filled with closed doors and had been given the key to open any I liked. I mean, if you're going to imagine it, just have the doors open. You know?

Why are the doors closed by it? Why are there doors at all? Why can't they just be archways, you know? Yeah. What's this famous imagination, mate? He's put locked doors on everything. Yeah, and I've put a security guard in front of each of them and doesn't like my shoes. But I've been given the secret code to sweet talk them.

You're working really hard to get into these rooms. You've got to work for the good ones. Like a mutated place. Santa attacking Bristol, for example. That is good. King's Aunt Gert, I love that, Aunt Gert, paid him a quarter for every story he produced. His surviving earliest work includes the fairy tale Jonathan and the Witches, spelled J-H-O-N-A-T-H-H-A-N and Witches spelled W-I-T-H-H-S. Well, no, I think that's just old English. Yeah, he wrote a long time ago.

He wrote that at the age of nine. That's Old New English. Yeah. And that later came out in a compendium of his work. I'm sure he'd be stoked to be paying money. Smashing through the first few chapters, like, okay. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I can't make head nor tail of this.

It's not a single correctly spelled word. It's like it was written by a nine-year-old or something. Nine-year-old who can't spell. Showing signs of what was to come from this future horror king's imagination. Oh, that's good. He was a self-described fan of horror seeking out movies and radio shows that would scare him. He later said...

Kyle and Jackie O. That's scary. I don't know how to change it. There's so much tension on between these two. He's such a prick! He's being mean to her about everything, but this is the straw that broke the camel's back because I'm raising. He later said,

my childhood was pretty ordinary, except from a very early age. I wanted to be scared. I just did. And that's where we differ. Yeah, I was like, no, thanks. I do not want to be scared. Regular stuff were scaring me.

Yeah. and a van looked at me. What does it mean? Is he going to kill me? No, Dave, we're moving. We can't go through this again. But Stephen King would see that and you'd think, but what if that man in a van did want to kill?

And he was a demon. What if that van's door was a mouth with a key that I had? He loves doors. He loves the man loves doors. Doors are his muse. So he loves being scared. Biography.com writes his mother indulged this interest, taking him to see films like Earth versus the Flying Sources and reading him books like Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr.

Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. So he's seeking out being scared from a young age. He graduated from school in 1966, a year in which nothing else happened, and then he attended the local university of Maine. So he stayed local. From his sophomore year, he wrote a weekly column for the school newspaper, The Main Campus. spelled M-A-I-N-E. I get it.

That's really good stuff. That's fun stuff. He also worked in a lot... That doesn't get it. I don't know if I get it because it is... Is it even a... It's just... That's what it is, isn't it?

The main campus. Like if you take the E off Maine. It still makes sense. It still makes sense. It's the main campus. Yeah, but it's just literally the main campus. Yeah, but there's probably satellite campuses that makes sense. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I think your search of something that's not there. I think he was just written very literally right. calling it what it was. Can you just be a bit of fun for us? Come on. I cannot. Can you just embrace our joy?

I can't. Whimsy. I'm like oil and it's water. We don't mix. I can't put it any clearer than that. I'm sorry. I love it when his shoulders are up in his ears. And he's just, I don't know.

The hackles are up. What have I said that? What about back to the main character here? Oh, that's really good. Are you fucking kidding? You should. Can't get a read on this guy. It's the same thing.

It's the same fucking joke. It's the same guy. No, but now it's got a second meaning. The main campus? I might strangle him. I might. Which campus? The main campus.

Oh, okay. Oh, hang on. Do you mean M-A-I-N or M-A-I-N? No, so that's nothing. You're back in a... You're back in a... No man's land. Oh.

No man's land. Is that anything? That's... It's something. Even that's close to something. But you wouldn't know it. I have no idea. That's why I asked.

I've even written... He wrote a wiggily column for the school newspaper at the main campus, which is good stuff. I've even written that. I've written that. That's good stuff. Give it to him. Come on. That's good stuff.

Don't give it to me. Give it to the main campus. Give it to the end of the main campus. Come on. Live. What happened to you? Choose life. If the magazine was called, you know,

draining the main vein or the main edition, no, that's even back to order. The main edition works really well. Daining the main vein doesn't mean. No, doesn't mean, because it's not a story,

it's not a book about piss. But if it was a book about piss. Yeah. The main vein, right, it's just like an artery. It's like a, this is how we communicate through this. This is the main artery.

And where is it published? On campus, the main campus. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. That's like, you know, at Monash University, called the Monash University newspaper. That's not clever.

It's what it is. It's like that. But Monash doesn't have a second meaning. But Monash does have multiple campuses. Oh, they should have called it the main campus. That would have made sense. Mainash. May Nash

Okay, finally Can we just say that works and move on? Yeah, I think AJ should edit that out there That would have been absolutely infuriating Yeah, it was infuriating for us I'm sorry everyone listening No Which is just AJ because it would have edited it out

People must know No No That you don't indulge I didn't get a lot of sleep last night My brother had a birth plan I know Wednesday night Is he sick?

I went to trivia night last night Really? Okay. What was the best question? They were pretty average, to be honest. Really? Yeah. Did you win?

No. Any prizes? Okay, then might add up. Yeah. Yeah, they were stupid anyway. It was dumb. It was, I hated it. It was about stuff that I don't know.

That's stupid. So Stephen King is the main character. He's the main man in the story. That's good. Thank you. Thank you so much. He worked in the library also at campus and served in student government. His official website writes,

he came to support the anti-war movement on the Orono campus. See, there's multiple campus. Emperous, arriving at his stance from a conservative view that the war in Vietnam was unconstitutional. It was during this time at college that the 19-year-old king wrote his first professionally published short story called The Glass Door, which appeared in the fall... Doors! He's obsessed with doors! Oh my God, it's true! Which appeared in the full 1967 issue of the pulp science fiction magazine, startling mystery stories. Yeah.

The Gothic horror tale follows Charles, a man named Charles Wharton, as he investigates his sister's suspicious death in her husband's sealed mirror-floored room. Whoa, sealed, mirrored, floored room. So you go into the room and the floor is a mirror, and you would be suspicious. Yeah. I'd be suspicious of you guys. Yeah. Because I'm wearing a skirt.

Oh, yeah. You move over there, and over there. And over there. I don't have it. Well, Dave, that's not all. It's a powerful mirror. Okay. Don't, no.

Let it go. Okay. The glass door. Just really went with me and then as soon as you called out, she went, this guy is sick. You're happy to laugh along until Matt was like, actually, that's wrong. Matt was like, wait, explain that. And you're like, I don't know. Don't worry about it.

It's the main floor. Is that makes sense? The main mirror. Stephen. Yes, main mirror. It's the main mirror floor. So anyway. The glass door, that's like what,

Nepo baby women have to break through. But it's just like, you know, it's rather than put the glass ceiling. It's a little bit easier. Yeah. But it's locked. But it is locked. It is locked. But daddy gave me the key.

Oh. So Nepo Babies only come from powerful daddies. Mommy gave me the key. So he published his book, King earned $35, equivalent to $338 in 2025. Oh. marking his first professional earnings from writing a lot more than he was being paid in the library or as a weekend janitor. Those are his two uni jobs. Revisiting the story after 23 years in 1990, King described the first several pages as, quote,

clumsy and badly written, clearly the product of an unformed storyteller's mind, but he judged the climax to be better than I remembered with a quote, genuine frisson. So he's like, I did show a bit of promise. Yeah, and it's great. Like, you would hope that you look back on work you wrote 20 years ago and go, well, I've gotten better than that. I've gotten better. Yeah. You would hope so. Yeah. But there was something there. I mean, some of my early reports are some of the best things I'll ever do. Oh yeah, the Spice Girls? Unmatched. Which I remember.

Yeah. I remember being good. The one about current Queen Elizabeth II. That's right. Was that me? That was me. That was how good it was. You thought she wrote it. I knew one of you wrote it. So after this first success, many of King's stories were published in men's magazines. I was seeing in a Freddie Mercury. Ah, you get those two confused.

A couple of quains. Of the great queen. He was in a bank called queen. So he's publishing many stories in men's magazines. That's sort of how he's making a little side hustle living. What do you say men's magazines? I think it's a mixture of this mystery magazine, but also maybe some sort of. Salacious.

You know, there's a bit of sex in here. There's a bit of Stephen King mystery. Yeah, you know, the kind of thing that people go, oh, I get it for the stories. I read Playboy for the article. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think men's magazines now, it's just like buff man on the cover. Yeah. And it's like, how do I look like that guy?

Yeah. And the answer is always a lot of money. Yes. Yeah. And also, I don't know. I've never thought about this before. But I looked at one of those magazines. I was like, well, he's clearly flexing really hard.

hard. Yeah. Like, of course, when you look in the mirror, you don't look, and he's just done a workout, got the spray tan on, hasn't eaten in a week, all these things, and you go, like, if I saw him tomorrow, he's not going to look like that. No, but I never had that realization. I was like, these guys always look like this, but they don't. No.

Anyway. Even I watched... 35 years old, you've just had that realization. Yeah. I watched Twins this week, and I had the same thought. There was this scene where Arnie had his top off in a shop, which is inappropriate. But he didn't know. we grew up on an island.

Sure. And I'm like, he is, he looks ridiculous. But yeah, he would have just been doing, you know, bench presses probably. And behind the scenes. Pretty dehydrated as well. Yeah, because he wouldn't, like, Arnie doesn't look like that. He's a schlob. That's right.

When you, I mean, if you meet Arnold on the street, you just sort of, sort of poke him a bit. Yeah, he's pudgy. Yeah, very soft. Yeah, yeah. But you do 30 or 40 bicep curls. Yeah. And his abs get big. Yeah.

For bicep girls. That's impressive. I've never seen that before, by the way, and I really enjoyed it. Was it fun? It was a lot of fun. It is fun. It is fun. In the 80s and 90s?

Ani couldn't miss. Couldn't miss. So anyway, after this first success, many of King's stories, published in men's magazines. Back at the library was working at college, he met fellow worker Tabitha Spruce at a writer's workshop. What the fuck? That can't be a real name. That's not a great, Tabitha Spruce. Tabitha Spruce.

Is that a nom de plume? No, the two began. Or a nomad plume? No, that's her birth name. Get trapped. No, who? Why? And the two began dating shortly after. Oh, please don't. If they get married, please don't take his name. Please don't take his name. Keeps, Bruce, that's so good.

Tab of the King is great. Or be Spruce King. Oh my God. That's actually really good. King Spruce! I'm sorry. King Spruce has gone mad. I'm so sorry. King Spruce has gone completely mad. I will not be giving context and neither are you. So they began dating, more on Tabitha in a bit. He graduated from university with a Bachelor of Arts in English

and was qualified to be a teacher. He later paid tribute to one of his own influential teachers, Burton Hatlin, in his 2006 psychological horror romance novel, Lysie's Story. And he sort of dedicated the book to this old teacher. And honestly, this paragraph did make me wonder how good I the men are writing, but this is what you write. You're right. Bert was the greatest English teacher I ever had.

It was he who first showed me the way to the pool, which he called the language pool, the myth pool, where we all go down to drink. That was in 1968. I have trod the path that left there often in the years since, and I can think of no better place to spend one's days. The water is still sweet and the fish still swim.

What? And that guy taught him to write. Yeah. The language pool, the myth. pool. And it turns out it's just a literal pool. Like it's all, what a wild metaphor. Oh, no, no, no, he showed me that's the pool.

I didn't know where the school pool was. Yeah. He showed me. And that's where they have all the dictionaries and the choruses. I do all my writing wet. What's the problem? What? Matt says the wet desk.

Yeah. Some of Matt's best ideas come from a wet desk. Yeah. You know, if you get three good ideas in a row, you'll normally go, you're in the bath mat. Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. Oh, is that a clever thing? The bath mat?

Probably as far as you're concerned. Sorry, did you come up with that in the bath? Because that is some of your best work. Full offence intended. Oh, I didn't need that today, Dave. I did not need that today. I just thought it be funny to be a sassy little bitch. Dave, today of all days.

It was my brother's birthday yesterday, Dave. I'm coming down from a birthday. This the day after my brother's birthday? David, please. All right, I think you're great. You're my main man. Is that good? Something?

That means a lot, actually. I really do you do that. So he's freshly graduated again from the main man's website. I've even written the main man. Oh my God. I'm that good. Spelling? M-A-I-N-E with a capital M.

On Maine, not man. The website writes, a draft board examination for the Vietnam or immediately post-graduation found him 4F, meaning unfit for service, on grounds of high blood pressure, limited vision, flat feet and punctured ear drums. Probably from all that swimming.

Yeah, right. In the pool. So he wasn't drafted for Vietnam. Which he hated anyway. Yeah, he was very anti-that. So he would have been stoked with that outcome. He married Tabitha in January 1971. And the two are still together today,

Stephen and Tabitha King. Tabitha. Like obviously I'm very happy that you've met each other and you've been together such a long time. That's lovely. And your Tabitha alone is fantastic. Tabitha King is fantastic. Yeah, it's really good. But Tabitha Spruce?

What about Tabby King, Nees Spruce? Oh, Nis spruce. Neesprose sounds pretty cool. Kind of reminds me of like a Niswa salad. Oh. Okay. I think I like them. Yeah.

Does it sound creamy? Is it a creamy salad? Is it an antrovia in there? tuna, isn't it? Tuna. Niswa. Yeah. But it looks like Nichoi's.

I didn't just, yes. And just says it a lot of like nearly every night of what will we have for dinner. How about a Niswa salad? Just because you like saying it. Oh, yeah. I don't think I've ever heard it said. It's Niswai. Oh, it's tuna and anchovies.

Okay, so we were both right. Oh. I love that. I love it when we're both right. Hey, you know what that reminds me of? The Pool of Language where the fish swim. And we still still drink. Much like a Nisw.

swar salad. So he married Tabitha. The two are still together. She's also a writer and has published eight novels. Wow. They are the first to read each other's works and in his 2000 book on writing a memoir of the craft, Stephen King writes. She and I may argue about many aspects of a book and there have been times where I've

gone against her judgment on subjective matters, but when she catches me in a goof, I know it. And thank God I've got someone around who'll tell me my flies unzipped before I go out in public that way. He's got away with words. Literally or metaphorically? Probably both, I'd say. Yeah.

He's down at the language pools swimming around with his chop out. Oh, no. Stamper is tap her away? Yeah. Oh, no. When tabbers away, you really must stay in, Stephen. You can't be trusted outdoors. Little Stephen's out.

Big Stephen should stay in. But leave Little Stephen out? Leave Little Stephen out. Hey, when you're at home, Stephen, you do what you do. That's what you do. Let them breathe. But close the door. I know you love doors.

That's very good. That's very good. I mean, if the fly isn't the doorway to the pants, I don't know what is. Maybe a bum flap? Oh. So I'll talk about their philanthropy later, but I like this. In 2019, after Stephen and Tabitha King made a $1.25 million donation to the New England historic genealogical society through their foundation,

headlines referred to them as Stephen King and his wife. Stephen tweeted, My wife is rightly pissed by these headlines. And then he quotes, Stephen King and his wife donate $1.25 million. The gift was her original idea, and she has a name. Tabitha King!

Her response follows, and then there's more tweets that she's written. Dear editors, in brackets, married to a wife or a husband, In a recent media coverage of a gift that my husband, in brackets, ironic usage, and I made to the New England Historical and Geological Society, we became Stephen King and his wife. Wife is a relationship or status.

It is not an identity. You could have made other choices, she continued. You could have referred to me as of Stephen or his old lady or his ball and chain. I like that. I think she sounds awesome. Yeah. Now, the couple have three children, Naomi, who is. as a minister for the Unitarian Universalist Church,

which I looked briefly into, and they seemed to embrace all belief systems, and they try and bring it together at a church where you can be into your own sort of practices. And Owen King, who is also a writer, as is his brother, Joseph King, who could have been Joe King, but chose to write under the name Joe Hill.

But he apparently is also very successful in the horror genre. Cool. Joe Hill, but it would have been better if it was joking. in my opinion. I agree. He didn't want everyone to know who's in that person. Yeah, he would have said, I'm going to go out on my own. Dad, can you give me the email address to the year for your publisher?

Why do you go here, and not spruce? Oh, my God. You had access to spruce? A legitimate claim to spruce? Oh, wow. Yeah, you are joking. we got him. Let it be known neither of us put our hands up to high-fired.

You didn't even look like you thought about it. I put my hand down. I didn't even flinched. I did. I flinched away so you couldn't reach. I thought that was actually really good what I just did. It was fine. So that's the family.

Anyway, their years away is in 1971, the recently married king may have been rich in love, but in cash, he was very poor. again from stevenking.com As Stephen was unable to find placement as a teacher immediately the Kings lived on his earnings as a labourer at an industrial laundry

and her as in Tabitha Spruce's student loan and savings with an occasional boost from a short story sale to a men's magazine. But money was pretty tight and neither of them sort of are working what they wanted to be their careers yet. Later on in the early 70s

he started teaching high school English classes That was fine Did I reckon, a bit Sean Connery? It was a little, but you could have gotten away with it. Yeah. Well, I've let you got away was similar a few times today. I've let you go away with Fusimilar today. Shut the fuck up.

Exactly. Jess and I just played out a scene. That's not how we've been behaving, okay? It's a great example of it. So you can continue without fear. And scene. Right. Later on in the early 70s, you started teaching high schooled English

classes at Hampton Academy, and he still wrote on weekends and in the evenings. But it's a bit of a side hustle. Everything changed for the Kings in 1974 when Stephen published his first novel. According to Britannica, after drafting three pages of the novel, King had second thoughts about his idea and threw the pages away. His wife, Tabitha, however, rescued the pages from the trash, read them and encouraged him to keep going. That novel was Carrie. Wow. You've heard of Carrie? Yes, I've heard of Carrie.

That's the first one. I haven't seen it, but she's like stitched together or something? It looks like she's sort of got stitches ever, or is it veins? I don't, let me read you the plot. Does this? Don't worry about it. I'm not sure there's any stitching here. To be honest.

You might be thinking of something else. He's definitely probably covered that. Yeah. Almost certainly covered a stitch together woman. Yeah, yeah. Or a woman. Or a woman. Coraline.

Yes. Roman. You are. And this one's called. Carrie. Carrie. Okay. You know.

It's two letters in common. That's so true. Thank you. So this is the plot synopses of Carrie is set in the town of Chamberlain, the plot revolves around Carrie White, a friendless high school girl from an abusive religious household who has telekinetic powers. After a cruel prank pulled by one of her bullies on prom night, Carrie decides to take revenge. Oh, this is like pig blood or something? Yeah, they throw blood on her.

But then they don't know that she secretly got these telekinnet. They pig blooded the wrong woman, I reckon. She could have picked anyone else. You could have pig-blooded anyone in that room. Yeah, but not Carrie, because she's going to bend some spoons. And then you'll be sorry. Yeah. Your favourite spoons.

Yeah. It's trying to eat ice cream now. Yeah, good luck. It's really hard. I've only got a knife. Oh, no, it's bent now too. Actually, that's a bit easy to eat ice cream with honestly. A bent knife.

Oh, no, she's straightened it again. I shouldn't have spoken. Why am I saying this out loud? I just wanted to eat ice cream at prom. Tabitha had rescued the pages from the bin and in his 2000 non-fiction book on writing he recalled, She wanted me to go on with it. She said,

She wanted to know what the rest of the story was. I told her, I didn't know jack shit about high school girls. She said, she'd help me with that part. She was smiling in that severely cute way of hers. You've got something here, she said. I really think you do. Isn't that so sweet?

Severely cute is how I'm. would love to be described. She's so severely. Oh my God, she's so cute. You've got something here, like in a cute way as she's describing this woman with telekinetic powers that's about to go on a killing spruce. There's something to this. Keep going.

I really think this is good. He finished it and quote from King again. The manuscript of Carrie went off to the publisher double day where I had a friend named William Thompson. I pretty much forgot about it and moved on with my life. Teaching school, raising kids, loving my wife, getting drunk on Friday afternoons. and writing stories. That cute.

Living the laugh. But he learned in the spring of 1973 that Double Day and Coe, the publisher, had accepted the novel carry for publication in Hardback, and he secured a moderately high advance, particularly for a debut unknown writer of about $2,500, which is almost $20,000 today. And that's US dollars.

It's a fair bit, but not enough to change his entire life. But you're still teaching. Certainly going to help relieve some pressure from the family. Absolutely. Paid off his house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But keep...

So, two and a half thousand is worth 20,000 today. Keep that conversion in mind when I tell you this next bit. Again from King himself. We spent the advance on a new car. There you go. And I signed a teaching contract for the 1973-74 academic year. Carrie had fallen off my radar screen almost completely. Then one Sunday, I got a call from Bill Thompson at Double Day.

Bill Thompson asked, are you sitting down? No, I said. Our phone hung on the kitchen wall. Do I need to? You might, he said. the paperback rights to carry just went to signet books for $400,000. Wait, so he got $2,500, and that was... The equivalent of $20,000.

That's good money, and now... 400. His mate's like, we just sold it for $400,000. His first book. How much does he get? What? He'd get a chunk of it, I guess. King continued, I was completely speechless.

Bill asked if I was still there, kind of laughing as he said it. He knew I was. When the conversation was over, I tried to call Tabby at her mother's. Her younger sister, Marcella said Tab had already left. I walked back and forth through the apartment, shaking all over. At last, I pulled on my shoes and walked downtown. The only store that was open on Bangor's Main Street was La Verdiers Drugstore. I suddenly felt that I had to buy Tabby a nice Mother's Day present, something wild and extravagant.

I tried, but here's one of life's true facts. There's nothing really wild and extravagant for sale at La Verdees. I did the best I could. I got her a hair dryer. Ooh! That's so funny. So when I got home, she was in the kitchen, unpacking the baby bags and singing along with the radio.

I gave her the hair dryer. She looked at it as if she'd never seen one before. What's this for? She asked. I took her by the shoulders. I told her about the paperback sale. She didn't appear to understand. I told her again, Tabby looked over my shoulder at our shitty little four room apartment,

just as I had and began to cry. Wow. And so she's like, are you losing your mind? What's the hair dryer for? And what are you talking about? Was it even Mother's Day? I don't know. I tried to sort of date it a little bit.

I wasn't sure. He's like, oh, I got to get her a Mother's Day present. He's a Mother's up. He's a lot of. He's panicking. We've just got $400,000. He's a head drive. What are rich people who do?

Presents. Mother's Day. Mother's Day, present. That's amazing. King, he was 26 years old at the time. So he's pretty young. He got the payout. He got half of it, $200,000, which is equal to $1.3 million U.S.

dollars today. Whoa. And needless to say, Stephen was able to immediately quit his teaching and focus full-time on writing. That's his first book. Wow. And yeah, they're living in a little apartment. They're like, they're doing okay because of the book, like the two and a half grand. Yeah, but they've forgotten about it.

But up until recently, Tabitha was like working part-time at Dunkin' Donuts sort of just to get by. They were not rich in any way. Wow. And yeah, they're looking around the apartment like, well, we can pluck this place off. We can buy something real good. It's like you're saying, like, real estate costs a lot less. So, $1.3 million. Wow.

Wow. And upon publication, Carrie lived up to that, you know, that bidding hype. It was an immediate popular success. It was adapted into a film for the first time in 1976, directed by Brian De Palma and starring Sissy Spacec as Carrie, who was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress. The film was a huge financial hit. It made $33.8 million on a budget of $1.8.

and has had a lasting impact on popular culture, often appearing high up on best horror movies lists. Wow. In a 1970s TV interview about Carrie, King, she's suddenly like on talk shows, because that's how popular it is. He's wearing this fantastic blue 70 suit. He's asked,

why do we have this rage for horror and killing and psychopaths in movies and books these days? And King said, well, I think there are about 12 different reasons, but the first 10 is people think horror is fun. And the other two, I think people are scared And I think that horror movies are always much bigger business when people feel frightened, when people feel concerned about their lives, and they see this is not only some way to get rid of fear, but a way to outlet aggression as well. So I thought that was an interesting answer.

I've just had to, I've Googled him because I think I was picturing someone else. He's got a very distinct look. Yeah, he does. So he, much like our man, Matt Stewart, does experiment with facial hair. Oh, does he? Yeah, on his website even writes that he's got a schedule. When the baseball season finishes, he starts growing his beard again. And when it starts, because he's a big baseball nut,

when it starts again, he shaves it off. He's fairly clean shaven in every photo on Google. If you write Stephen King's 70s, there's some pretty... I think, you know who I was picturing? And I know they weren't the same person. This is just who I was picturing. Who's the writer of Game of Thrones? George R.R. R. Martin.

That's who I'm picturing. And I'm like, I know. No, that's not him, but that's, so I needed, I just needed a pick. Yeah, I can see the facial hair, yeah. He looks good with a beard. Yeah, and he grows a great beard. Oh, and thick one. Huge monobrout too.

Fantastic. Yeah. Awesome, thank you. I didn't mean to interrupt. I just needed to correct the visual because I knew I was wrong, but I couldn't get it out of my head. If people at home want to look, look up what he looks like, if you haven't already seen. He can't, you know, you know, I got to look up Tabitha? You know who could play him in a movie?

And I'd be so stoked if this happened. Yeah. Alan Ruck. Oh, yeah, Rock could play. I think Alan Ruck could pull off that movie. Good one. Definitely. Particularly the sort of modern day,

maybe looking back on his life, flashback to a young Stephen. See, now you're looking at Tabitha? Yeah. She looks adorable. Yes, they look so adorable together in all the photos I've seen. Man, he should stick with the beard. The beard is good.

Bring it back, Steve. I assume, Stephen. He probably is. Having a little break now. writing a book. He's just finished a book this morning. He's writing another one this afternoon. He's giving himself a couple of hours off as a little treat.

So Carrie was huge, putting King's name on the map with both the novel and the film version. And this is wild. It would be the first of more than 100 film, television and theatre productions adapted from or based on the published works of King. More than 100. Wow. So there's a lot to talk about. Of course, I can't cover them all.

I apologise to you at home. of. I don't mention your favorite work or adaptation, but it's not possible. But I thought from here I could just go through each decade and give you a summary of the major books and adaptations of that decade. Yeah. As well as touch on a few things going on in his life. Early on, I cover nearly everything in the 70s and 80s, but then sort of, it just gets out of hand. Wow.

So he backed up 1974's Carrie with 1975. So just the year later, Salem's Lot. Oh, yeah. Another big one. The story involves a writer named Ben Mears, who returns to the town of Jerusalem's Lod. or Salem's lot for short in Maine, where he lived from the age of 5 through 9, only to discover that the residents are becoming vampires.

Ooh. So... Jerusalem. Yeah. Ha! I never knew that. Never knew that. So we call it Sillam's lot, Jerusalem.

Sillums lot. But I hear people say Salaam's lot. Yeah, Salem's lot. Like, isn't that, is that where the witch thing was? Is that in Salem Massachusetts? Yeah, it's a different one, though I think. It's a different one. Jess, okay?

I'll cut your fucking head off. Do it. I'll accept that. Just because this is a horror episode. Yeah. And he came up with the idea for the book with vampires while he was teaching Bram Stoker's Dracula to his students. A Salem's Lot has been adapted for the screen three separate times. Wow.

Just before Salem's Lot was published, his mother died of cancer. And that sort of influenced his life. According to Biorefovir.com, the author and his family subsequently after the moved to Boulder, Colorado. His new home became the backdrop for his next novel, The Shining. The Shining, of course. He's the Shining, so that's another big in. Yeah.

It follows an alcoholic writer who moved to Colorado with his wife and kids to work as a caretaker at an isolated hotel in the mountains. The plot was inspired by a nightmare king had while staying at a hotel in Estes Park with his wife. Oh, yeah. He wrote, he letter wrote, I thought that it seemed the perfect, maybe the archetypal setting for a ghost story. That night, I dreamed of my three-year-old son running through the corridors, looking back over his shoulder, eyes wide, screaming. He was being chased by a fire hose. That's scary.

That's terrifying. When King woke up, he smoked a cigarette and stared out at the Rocky Mountains through his hotel window. He later wrote, by the time the cigarette was done, I had the bones of the book firmly set in my mind. He'd written 50 pages. Wow. I only took him three drags.

He's that good. And that is hectic. That is wild. I think they sort of maybe kind of linked the Shining book and the It series together. At the end of this new It series, I think one of the characters went off. He got a job at this hotel. A little bit of a wink to the camera kind of thing. A lot of his books are interconnected with the worlds they're set in.

Because a lot of it is, like, a lot of it is. set in Maine as well, right? Yeah. Fictional towns, but... Yeah, so, like, Jerusalem's lot is one that other books come back to... Derry? Derry, and the other one I'll talk about is Castle Rock. Oh, Castle Rock Pictures.

Which is based on... Is that right? Yeah, because Rob Ryan... That's Rob Ryan's company, and he's directed a bunch of Stephen King adaptations. Yeah, right. There you go, I didn't realize that. And I'll talk about this later, but then... And Castle Rock is based on Lord of the Flies, but I'll talk about that.

Wow. So, based on, based on, based on. So The Shining was released in 1977 and became an instant bestseller and was adapted for film by Stanley Kubrick in 1980, which King himself did not like. Oh. He didn't like the betrayal of Wendy Torrance, which he described as one of the most misogynistic characters ever put on films.

She's basically there just to scream and be stupid, and that's not the woman I wrote about. Despite it being one of the most beloved horror films ever made, he has said a lot about it over the years, but sums it up with, I think The Shining is a beautiful film, and it looks terrific, as I've said before, but it's like a big, beautiful Cadillac with no engine inside it. Oh, useless.

Unless you're going down a hill. Yeah. Unless you're coasting. Yeah. Unless you're just using it for a photo shoot or something. Yeah, well, that's true. A beautiful photo shoot. Yeah.

Yeah. Or yeah, just as a place to live. Yeah. If you're going to live in a car, yeah, yeah. Cadillac's probably a good choice. Get a big and. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd probably, if I was going to choose a car to live in, I'd probably go like a camper van. Oh, yeah. A Winnebago? A Winnebago probably, yeah, like it has a toilet in it. Oh, toilet. It's got to have a toilet.

Plumb in? I guess if you can't drive it, it may as well you can plumb it in. Yeah. I guess if I had to choose a vehicle to live it, it would be a tiny house. Oh. Or just a house. Yeah, a house and if we can, just chuck some wheels on the side of a mansion. If it doesn't have an engine.

It doesn't have an engine. It doesn't have an engine. You might as well plumb it in and build a mansion. Oh. If we can, I mean, if we could, I mean, if we could, I reckon I'd just go maybe a mansion with a little stable for the horses. Yeah. If we could.

If that would count. Yeah. I don't know what the rules are. My car has 15 toilets. Really? It's all tall. It's all toilet. Dave just has 15 bottles in his car.

I'll cycle through them. Yeah. Some of them with bigger nozzles than the others. Not necessarily. It creates a seal. Yeah. like a challenge. So on David Leder's the olive of an idol.

On David Letterman in 1980, King compared the process of selling a book to a movie studio to sending a child off to school, hoping it would do well. Right. So he often like, you know, he gives it to the director gives us to the movie studio. He's like,

he's no longer involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll see it at the movies with everyone else and hope he likes it. That was up until the Shiner? Is that still how he feels? No, that's still how he feels. Right.

Yeah. I thought maybe after the Shiner, he's like, from now on there's going to be a clause that I have final say or something. Yeah, I'd love to be involved. But he's still chill. Yeah, and obviously he's had to have that feeling many times because he's, you know, over 100 times. Yeah, he must have the record for most adapted films. I wonder, like, there's like, people like Shakespeare.

A bit of it was, if you discounted that and maybe made it like, oh, of the 20th century, maybe. Yeah, yeah. And maybe individual works or something. Yeah. Because it seems like he's had... It's unbelievable. I reckon until not that long ago, I thought he was purely horror. But he's done every genre, it seems like.

Yeah. All three of them. All three. Good, bad. I don't do. Is that him? That's not him. But he has tried Western.

King's family returned to Auburn, Maine, and in 1978, published The Stand, about a super flu pandemic that wipes out 99% of the world's population. Wow. highly acclaimed by critics King himself acknowledges the stand as quote the one my long-time readers still seem to like the best. It's been adapted twice as mini-series. So that's five novels in four years and the stand is over 800 pages long. I don't think I've heard of the stand but that's his most beloved.

Apparently by people who really know and love King, they still talk about that one. I also hadn't heard of it. He's like, I've written a lot of books since then, guys. Guys, and they're all pretty good. Yeah. Oh, we like your old stuff better, Stephen. So he sets a word count goal for every day of the year, including holiday, so he works every day of the year, aiming for a target of about 2,000 words, roughly 10 pages.

That's good. I like that. Because that really adds up, but it sort of seems to achieve. I guess if you're a full-time writer. I'm now well behind the deadline for the book. Yes. Oh, yeah. Which I think on an episode about three years ago, I'll say.

By the end of the year, I'm going to write one. Yeah. I've not done that, but maybe I need a goal like that. Yeah. I'm not going to do Christmas like him. That's like comedy, mate. Mate, have a rest. Mate, you've got a wife and kids who love you, supposedly.

Well, life is full of love. Yeah, well, maybe spend a bit of time with it. But my words, I love too. What's wrong with this guy? I've just had an idea about a... What's wrong with him? I've just had an idea about a possessed Christmas ham. I'll write this down.

That's a Christmas cracker. But instead of a joke inside, it's a demon. A funny demon. Oh, I've read all right. I've read me this. Okay, should I be writing then? That's actually really good. This is 2000 words for today.

So, obvious writing process, he writes, If I don't write every day, the characters begin to stale off in my mind. They begin to seem like characters instead of real people. The tale's narrative, cutting edge, starts to rust and I begin to lose my hold on the story's plot and pace. Worst of all, the excitement of spinning something new begins to fade.

The work starts to feel like work, and for most writers, that is the smooch of death. The smooch! He is good! The smooch of death! I'm not going to use the cliché. I'd hate to be so vulgar and say, kiss. Yeah, smooch? Yes, I've got access to a pheasaurus.

The peck on the cheek of death. The pash of death. Oh, the snog of death. The mack-on of death. So he finished the decade with the dead zone in 1979. The story follows Johnny Smith. How does he come up with his names? Who awakens from a coma of nearly five years

and apparently as a result of brain damage now experiences clairvoyant and precognitive visions triggered by touch. That's hard to say. When some information is blocked from his perception, Johnny refers to that information as being trapped in the part of his brain that is permanently damaged, aka the dead zone.

And the Dead Zone is the first story by King to feature the fictional town of Castle Rock, which serves as the setting for several later stories and is referred to in others. The town name here it is, is taken from the fictional Mountain Fort in William Golding's novel, Lord of the Flies, a book that influenced King when he was young. Right, cool. Is there any relation to Fraggle Rock? That's one rock over. Oh, yeah.

Look, if you're standing on Castle Rock, you can see Fragler Rock. You can see Fragle Rock. Yeah, and then you can also see the boat that rocked. Really? And rock and roll. You can see Elton John? You can see Elton John, yeah. Rocket man.

You can see. I thought he was doing the crocodile rock. Yeah, that's rocking. He's rocking. You can see Dwayne from there. Dwayne, come over. Fort Dwayne. From before, that was today.

Yeah, that was, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was like, yeah, not long ago. Okay. Feels like recent analogue time ago. Yeah, it could have been years. Now, he's already so prolific, right? He couldn't possibly write anymore.

Well, yes, he could. The problem was there was a publishing convention of the time that limited authors to one book per year to avoid oversaturation. That was like the golden rule. You don't put out a second rule. So he's just banking him. Yeah, he's like, easy. I'm writing three a year, so I'm good for the next decade.

Yeah. So if I ever do want to have a little holiday, which I don't. I don't. I could have one. He'll be released in books 100 years after he's boys. He should have done that. Honestly, that would have been way better. But instead, in 1977, he convinced his publisher signet books to print more novels just under a pseudonym.

He created Richard Barkman. According to Biography.com, he came up with a pen name after seeing a novel by Richard Stark on his desk, coupled with what he heard playing on his record player at the time. You ain't seen nothing yet by Backman Turner Overdrive. So maybe it's Richard Backman, because that's not Barker. is that. He ain't seen nothing yet. Bam, bam, baby, you just ain't seen nothing yet.

Bram, bram, never going to get. Is that that song? Yeah. But baby, you just ain't seen none of nothing yet. You ain't been around. And he went, you ain't been around. That gives me the name of a person, Richard Barkman. That's so I love how he's like, you can just say you made up a name.

I mean, your last book had Johnny Smith. Yeah. We don't need a story for this one. King only told his editor, not even the CEO of the publishing company, knew that it was really him writing under an alias. And to the public, Barclan was presented as a real person with a fabricated backstory. There was a photo of the author on the back cover. The man depicted was actually Richard Manuel, a friend of King's literary agent,

Kirkby or Kirby McCauley. So it's just a guy. Oh, man. And his wife is he starting to get recognized? And the guy's wife had taken the photo, like she's credited with the photo and everything. I don't know. The jig wasn't up from the photo. I guess people just... He was not well-known enough. The first Barkman novel was called Rage, which describes the school shooting.

According to Wiki, the plot of rage vaguely resembles actual high school shootings, like afterwards, an incidence of hostage-taking that have transpired since publication. As a result, King became uncomfortable with the idea of having it remain in print for the fear that it might inspire future occurrences, and he has since let it go out of print for this reason. Wow. Because there were, and in fact, a couple of people who did sort of high school shooting, in the plot, someone takes, like, their whole class hostage. And a couple of people that have since done that have apparently been, like,

obsessed with the novel. I had on the bookshelf. Yeah, yeah. So he's like, let's just, hey, I was just writing a made-up story. I don't want to inspire anything. Yeah, yeah. And that's easy for a guy with a huge back catalog. Yeah, yeah, you go.

The guy's like, their only hit book. They're like, oh, this doesn't feel good, but I need this. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. You know, and every time it's in the news that sells more copies. Sorry. No, he's like, no, he's like decided we don't need that one anymore. Yeah.

But the publication of Rage was followed by Richard Barkman's more books, The Long Walk in 1979. That's the new movie. Also, road work in 1981 and in 1982, the Running Man. And both The Long Walk and The Running Man were adapted as films in 2025. Oh, wow. And are they, so they're now being re-released, like, obviously, was he found out?

did he eventually go out there or may as well he was hoping that he would put him out and that they'd be judged on their own merits a bit of like let's see if it's just my name selling these books. Just like Joe Hill. Joe Hill. That's right. So he's like the experiments, how will I be perceived under a new name?

Mental floss right. Sales were modest at best and reader reaction was tepid. King recalled getting 50 or 60 fan letters a week for himself and perhaps two a month for Barkman. Which is I think would still be nice. That would be nice.

I mean, to a month it would be, I think that could be nice. Honestly, 50 or 60 a week is too many. That's overwhelming. A few a month, I think that could be nice. That's better. I actually got this shirt in a, well, I don't know if it's a fan letter, but a listener letter. Jim Bates from second father.

You don't think that counts as a fan mail? I don't know. I mean, it counts as someone who's concerned about what you're wearing. Hey, mate. Send a lot of the same shirts come up. Do you want a new one? Yeah. Which is interesting because he sent three different versions of the shirt.

It's a great shirt, Sacketts Harbor. Big fan. New York. Is it New York? Yeah, New York. Yeah, maybe, I don't know how far from Buffalo country, like one of the suggestors. Oh, maybe. Maybe, who knows?

It's not, but it's, you know, it's in the same state. Is that you requesting that listener to send you something from Buffalo? I don't know. Are you going to get inundated with T-shirts now? I don't know. As a man with a, you have the, honestly, the largest collection of T-shirts of anyone I know. Yeah, my jaws are bulging. Yeah, you need more.

Is it a one-in-one-out situation? I don't mean drawers like Americans say drawl. He loves his insurance. Even though that is also true. That is undeniably true. So he wrote under the name, Barkman, until 1985, when a bookstore worker, writer and fanzine publishers Steve Brown, little nosy Steve Brown,

noticed the similarities between the writing of King and Barkman's new book, which was called Thinner. After some additional investigation, Brown located publishers' records, at the Library of Congress, which included a document naming King as the author of one of Barkman's novels. They hadn't been quite careful enough in the back end. Brown then wrote a letter to King's agent

sharing his discovery and asking how they'd like to proceed, which sounds like blackmail. Yeah, it is. He's not doing anything wrong. No, nothing wrong with it. Yeah, you're allowed to have a nomad diploma. You're allowed to do it. Yeah, so it's so funny to be like, hmm, so I figured you out.

Yeah. How would you like to proceed? Well, I'd probably just keep doing what I'm doing. Yeah, is this guy a journalist? He's like, I might, I'll probably publish a... No, he works at a bookshop. Bookshop, and it's just like a super fan of the genre. Yeah, I'd say, I'd like to proceed by telling you to fuck off nerd.

Take a hike, pal. According to, they're like, maybe I could buy you a Sega Mega Drive and we'll call it even. Yeah. How'd you like to proceed? Yeah, but he's like, I'm not blackmailing. If that's how you're interpreter, though, I'm listening. Well, according to mental flaws, again, whilst working at Olson, 's bookstore in Washington, D.C. in the spring of

1985, he heard his name come over the store Indicom. There was a call waiting for him. When Brown picked up the telephone, he heard her voice ask, Steve Brown? This is Steve King. Okay, you know I'm Barkman. I know I'm Barkman. What are we going to do about it?

Let's talk. Oh, that would have been a bit of a thrill if he was a fan. Yeah, he's a big fan. In the end, King offered Brown an exclusive interview to out him as Barkman. and thinner, the book, now with a credit that read Stephen King writing as Richard Barkman, the novel sold three million copies. He would have also been like, I mean, I was hoping that my work would just speak for itself and it hasn't. Yeah, but I'd like people to know.

This could be a win-win. Yeah. And the previous books were packaged up in a volume titled The Barkman Books. The Barclan News. Now is Stephen King's name on the cover. And they also sold way better. Again for mental loss, however, film producers had already optioned the running man. They were ecstatic since they had gotten a bargain, Barkman price on the rights for a king product.

Is that fun to say, a bargain Barkman price? That really was. It really was. Have it go. A bargain Barkin' bargain price. Oh. Yeah. So that was for the 1980.

Bargain basement barking. Bargain basement barkman. Oh, and Barkman up the wrong tree. So that was for the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger Running Man version But it's since been remade with Jess's favourite Glenn Powell Oh

Oh that one Yeah that was last year Didn't do so well But the I liked the idea I'd never Until I saw the preview for that movie I didn't know what Running Man was

I thought it was a dance move But it is A great dance move It sounds fun So he's like you win the lottery If you survive a week Or a day or something Like you're on the run

And people are trying to kill you I saw a movie kind of like that recently. Maybe with your mate, what's your mate's name? Who's from New Girl? Jake Johnson? Yeah, he made a movie that sort of like that. Yeah. Which was...

That's so funny, what's your mate's name from New Girl? Oh yeah, Jake Johnson. I don't know Jake Johnson. Oh, you don't know him, no, but you know. Self-reliance is the name of that one. Is that as king as well? Honestly, it could be, and I just wouldn't have known. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd say, yeah. So he was a bit disappointed about the reveal of Barkman being him, but he was flying too close to the sun. In thinner, one of the characters muses, quote, you were starting to sound like a Stephen King novel for a while there. Like, he put that in. Oh, wow. Hoping he was still trying to get away with it at that point.

He quickly killed off Barkman, saying the author had died of, quote, Cancer of the pseudonym. Fucking out. It's getting harder and harder to support you here, Steve. But in 1990s, he published the regulators as, quote, a posthumous Parkman novel, saying a manuscript had been discovered in an attic somewhere. He's having a great amount of fun here. He has really enjoyed.

I think he loves his work. They love it. Can you workshop Cancer of the pseudonym, though? I think, I see where he was going, but I think Dave could do a better job of that. I reckon, first, I'm taking cancer out. Yeah. pseudonymitis or something like that like an inflammation of the pseudonym

I don't know I suffered from a stroke of genius sort of like given I think Dave just did giving himself a little bit of a pat on the back Dave because you here's the thing let me walk you through what just happened then you sort of looked off to the side

there was a long pause I thought Dave we've got him like we've backed him into a corner and he can't get out we can't do this we backmund him into a corner vacuumed him into a corner. But no.

Because first I thought heart attack, nothing there, apart from fart attack. That's nothing. That's not nothing. That's everything. That's more than cancer. If I said, he died of a fart attack. That would have been,

honestly, that would have been amazing. But you would have been like, that's fucking terrible. It's so bad, it's good. But, you know, stroke of genius,

that's at least something. Fire attack really got you there. So that's the 70s. Amongst all of this, King began teaching creative writing at the University of Maine. The courses he taught on horror provided the basis for his first non-fiction book, Dance Macab. So he's teaching and still churning out like eight books a year. Yeah, it's unbelievable. The work ethic is pretty amazing.

And where is he teaching? He's teaching at a uni now? Yeah, at the University of Maine. So he's still local place. So he's got patches on the arms. Yeah, dwee. And people are going, we want this course because he's, I mean, you'd be very in demand

Because often, like, you know, the lecturer gets up there, like, well, what have you done? It's like, well, I've actually sold like 10 bestselling books. I know what I'm doing. Do you know if any of his pupils have gone on to? I don't know, but let's say yes. Yeah, let's assume yes. Yeah.

Ever heard of? Derek Rucker from Hootie and the Bloodfish? Yes. Exactly. And that's a word's with them. I've heard one. No, anybody's saying, but I assume it's good. Yeah, it's really good.

Sheem, it's great. And a poignant. A name like Hootie and the Blowfish? God, that's a good song. Yeah, you don't just come up with that. That's crafted. So then we hit the 1980s. Ah, what a time to be alive.

I remember it like it was just yesterday. Oh, you missed out, Jess. I'm saying I remember it like it was yesterday. You missed out. Yeah, that's right. If you remember it, you weren't really there. Dead giveaway. I hate improvving with you guys.

Do you know people online, they'll say, tell me something, something without telling me something. Yes? That was like, tell me you're not from the 80s without telling me you not from the 80s. Saying you remember it. I think that might be the one I hate the most out of all the cliches of online.

Sure. I don't know why. I reckon we can find something they have as much. Jess has taken this like at something she says a lot. Is that true? You're taking this really hard. I've been doing a lot of that content. And now you tell me.

That's like Jess came up with that. Yeah. That's her legacy. But anyway, let's go back to Stephen King in the 80s. Great. I know. I didn't know. I'm not talking to you.

I'm not talking to me? Yeah. And Stephen King. And Stephen King. Here he is. Well, a... So he started strong. And honestly, he just didn't slow down.

Ninety, fire starter. Twice adapted to the film. Once is a miniseries. Once is a prodigy. banger. Yeah, that's right. Meow! Twisted.

What, what, ching. Is that that one? That's breathe. Damn it. Same album. What a banger. Fout of the land.

1981, Kujo, about a Saint Bernard who contracts rabies then goes in a killing spree in his hometown. Then, 1988 882,

the running man, Richard Barkman, talked about. 1982, the dark tower, the gunslinger. The first volume in his dark tower,

dark fantasy. series. So he's changing the genre a bit here. After a long and complex production, there was the Dark Tower film that I mentioned at the start in 2017 with Idissela and Matthew McConaughey. But everything he writes, and Kujo is a movie as well. So everything, it becomes a movie or a TV show.

Kujo, yeah. Koojo, like, that became a, that was sort of like a joke almost, you know, like a pop culture reference. People were like, oh, sit down in Kujo if a dog was barking too much. Am I making that up? I guess if you're... Tell me from the 1980s without telling me from the 1980s.

Right there. So hunched over your mic saying that. And I'm looking at us like, am I making that? I'm so tired. You do not understand it was my brother's birthday. Just last night. It's cruel to make someone go to work after something like that. Cruel.

I had a regular job So funny you call this work At a regular job You could have called in Sorry, it was my brother's birthday Say no more Save me a voice Oh my beautiful boy

You want the rest of the week Start fresh on Monday I think yeah If you're okay Maybe let's know on Sunday night How are you going Who was your father's birthday But us

These cruel tyrants over here Said oh If you could manage To turn up at around 10 30 That'd be brave I'd tell you what I'd Because occasionally

I get good news That Dave's kid is sick Oh I've got a migraine I looked hopefully Hit my phone this morning Come on be a message And it's very saying I've had an awful night

Yes He's wishing ill upon your child I woke up I sent a message as morning She slept all the way through It was fantastic Like a new man And Jess said

Me too My migraine's never been further away Yeah, that's right. I feel like a new man. Yeah. And Matt said, but it was my brother's birthday. We cruelly made you turn up, chat to two of your friends for a couple hours. And then we'll go get some lunch.

And it was a birthday dinner. Oh, my God, I had to have a pizza or something. And you had to drink a bunch of beers, didn't you? I was there with Dad. Yeah. When we look at each other on certain events, we haven't talked about it before, but we've both got a cheeky glint now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dad gives you a week saying. Should we have a look at the selection? That'd be right not too. Definitely. At a tap house. And Tom did put on a little tab. Oh, Tom, you idiot. The first drinks, I was paying for myself.

And then the bartender who thought I looked a bit like Matt Stewart, he goes, oh, you seem to be happy to pay for the ones now. Now you put them on the tab. I said, well, it'd be rude not to. I'm so predictable Yeah Yes He's like What do he goes

Oh that's not really How I understand rudeness Or something like It was being funny Okay yeah Yeah I'll be rude not to He's like oh

I don't think that means it like that Do you think he wasn't being funny Is he funny or was he blocking Is it a very literal man No he was being funny Let's get back to another literary man Oh Holy shit high fives

We'll be delivered Yes That was great I was about to say they edit out that whole conversation. Yeah, and then I saved it. You made it worth the pain that our listeners had to go through. And the thing is, if you shut the fuck up for a little bit and we get through this a bit quicker,

the sooner we get to some greasy food and some coffee. Oh, that'll help after your brother's big birthday. Oh. Look, why did you bring it up? I'd almost forgotten about it. And now I'm like, oh, that's right. Sorry, flashbacks. And it's not just.

hangover, I'm also just to come down from a big event. Yeah. We're all looking forward to it. We all have the calendar date service. Of course. And I don't know why you two did. You were never invited. I literally walked into this morning and back goes, yeah, Tom's 40th last night and I said,

who's Tom? Oh, your brother. I reckon for the first split second, he's like, my friend Tom from Weedhorner. Yeah. Tom's not I invited. He's not fucking. Is he? Yeah. Am I? My God, I'm

What a way to find out. Just for anybody playing at home, Tom is Matt's younger brother. Oh, no. And Dave just gave away Tom's age. Yeah, that was rude, Dave, actually. I mean, Matt could still be 6,000 years old and have a younger 40-girl-old. I'm just saying he's at least over 40. I think, I think AJ, if he's doing his job, and I'm really not sure that he is.

Based on feedback, he doesn't edit anything out, and I refuse to check. But I think if he's doing his job, he'll bleep those numbers, which is funny because it will make it sound. even older, which is kind of what we would like. AJ, please, make it a really long beep as well. Like it's four or five digits long. Five, six figures. Beep, beep, beep, beep. So, 1983, he had not one, not two, but three books come out.

1983, you say. Yeah, 1983. Three books, and he'd probably heard of... The year, the Australia two... My brother was born. And the year Australia two... who won the America's Cup. And I think a day that similarly,

Bob Hawke said, anyone who sacks the worker for coming in the day, not coming in the day after their brother's birthday is a bum. Well, something like that. I'm paraphrasing. Something that of fact. Yeah. Anyway, 1983, three books.

Well, may we say, God save your brother's brother's brother. I was trying to get you back on time. I know. That was my fault. Dave had a really good idea. I think we can all agree. it was 100% worth it.

Three books, you've definitely heard of at least two of them. 1983, Christine. You know this one? Which tells the story of a car, a 1958, Plymouth Fury, possessed by malevolent supernatural forces. That's so funny. It's a killer car. When you said, you've definitely heard of at least two of them,

and then you said Christine, I was like, well, let's hear you. I hope the next two of our fingers. I thought you would have heard that. Of course, adapted into the new stories of old Christine or whatever. Is that what it was cool? Yeah. Yeah, something to that effect. Worth it.

So it is actually a movie. John Carpenter directed an adaptation. You mentioned John Carpenter at the start, do you? King of Horror. Later that year, reportedly a new one is in development, but I love it. Christine, a killer car. Wow. That was also turned into a knight rider.

Yeah. With significant changes, he was not happy. He hated that adaptation. But that's what happens. It was beloved. It was beloved. Herbie the love bug as well. It's had a lot of.

adaptations. They tended to Baywatch. Hassel off had a second go, I don't know. A really straying far from the original text. Also, Pet Cemetery. I've heard of that. Yeah. About Dr. Louis Creed, who moves his family to a rural Maine, discovers a nearby pet cemetery that can

resurrect the dead. Twice adapted for film, it's misspelled. It's S-E-M-A-T-A-R-Y. Pet Sematery. As in the book, Kids Keeper Pet Cemetery, and misspell it on the sign. Oh, I see. So it's on purpose.

It's on purpose. It's not a whoopsie days. It's a bit of a callback to his early novels. That was also on purpose. So I've heard of both of those. Never seen, but heard of. I hadn't heard of this one though. Cycle of the Werewolf.

Each chapter is a short. The We're a wolf on a bike. It's like, it's Tour de France. Do it afront. But one of the riders is a werewolf. And the full moon is approaching. It's approaching. And the sequel was a great werewolf canals of Europe,

went on a lovely little trip floating down. Celebrating its yellow jersey wind. Each chapter is a short story unto itself. It tells the story of a werewolf hunting a small town as the moon turns full once every month. It is King's shortest novel to date at 127 pages, which means it's technically a novella. It was adapted into a film Silver Bullet in 1985.

Ah, silver bullet rings a bell. Then in 1984 he had three more books, The Talisman, the Eyes of the Dragon, and Thinner. Then in 1986, we have a big one, and I mean that in terms of reception and length, over 1,100 pages long, his longest book to date. No wonder the previous year, 1985, didn't have a book come out for the first time in a decade, and that is it. Oh. I did not know that it was 1100 pages long. Whoa. That is so long.

That's why I guess that they've turned into two movies so far. Yeah. Because, like... 1100 pages. Because I just Googled novella because you said technically a novella and I was like, what's the cutoff? And it says, well, this is the AI overview, says it's typically 15,000 to 40,000 words, so 60 to 120 pages.

It's longer than a short story, but it's shorter and less complex than a novel. So a novella is 120 pages. Yeah. And this is 1100 pages. Wow. And obviously it depends on size of print and that kind of thing. Like a Penguin Classic, they ram in to make it cheap. I'm like squinting at it.

But then a lot of hardback stuff is double-spaced. So what year did that come out? That was 1986. Wow. So the Tim Carrey one must have come out pretty quickly. Because that feels like that was 80s or 90s, I guess. Yes. And it was a TV movie, I think.

Yeah, TV movie in the 90s. So the story follows seven children as they are terrorized by an evil entity called It, which exploits the fears of its victims to disguise itself while hunting its prey. It became the best-selling hardcover fiction book in the US for 1986 and won the British Fantasy Award in 1987, adapted for TV in the 90s and as film in 2017, It, which took in over $700 million at the box office. So so far, that's the highest-grossing Stephen King adaptation. It's had a sequel. It's had the TV show you talked about.

So I think it were, and I imagine probably going to be more, because the sequel was also a big hit. Yeah, the TV show has already got a second season coming, I think. There you go. Which was a prequel season. Because it comes out every, like, as a 27-year cycle or something. So I'm guessing maybe they'll, I don't know, I assume they'll go to another one of the times that it came.

That's cool. Yeah. That feels like kind of limitless with sequels then. Yeah. It keeps coming back. rounding off the 80s 1987 had three more The Dark Tower 2

The Drawing of the 3 Which is confusing Also the Tommy Knockers Oh An excursion Excursion into the realm Show us your tummy knockers Go on darling

Show us your tummy knockers An excursion into the realm Of science fiction for King As the residents of The Main Town of Haven Gradually fall under the influence of a mysterious object buried in the woods. Can I just go on a knocker's tangent?

I'd love to. A little side note. I'd love to. That's not really, that doesn't answer the question. At trivia last night, there was like a little mini game halfway through. Heads and tails, but instead of heads and tails, it was knobs and knockers. Okay. And we're in a neighbourhood of, you know, it's fairly mixed, but a lot of oldies.

What a grey hair at the at the trivia. Are people enjoying the knobs and knockers? They're not really knockers. They're more flappers or something. Well, it's like the knockers, sorry, knobs you're like putting your hand down on your genitals, but for a lot of these women, putting your hands on your knockers, was at a very similar location. So it was a bit confusing. There's a lot of cheating involved.

Knobs or knockers? Both. I'm doing both. One of each. Knobbs or knockers are so. Yeah, I was like, why? feels like it's from the 1990s or not in 80s or so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, you can just do heads or tails, I reckon. How old was the person running it? A 39. Really? Really? How old am I? Yes. That is a brutal question to ask.

Was my birthdays coming up in a couple of weeks? How old will I be turning? Oh my God, he's getting like 52 and he's like, being like, I don't look that bad, too I? I was like, what? It's like that Jonathan Schuster bit where he's like, incredible. Basically, I'll butcher it, but it basically like he's talking to a woman and she's like, How old do you think I am?

And he says, he says, 45. And she says, oh, just to let you know, it's usually polite to just take 10 years off the age when you're guessing a woman's age. And he says, I did. Very good. That's why he's the king. He's the king. He's the Stephen King of Melbourne Comedy.

Yes. And his new season of Bogd. Billing. Twelve years after the first is being edited at the moment. Very exciting. A web series is going to come out on the Humdinger YouTube channel. And I believe, Matt, you're in one coming up. I believe, yeah, episode one features a very handsome doctor indeed.

Oh, who's in it? I don't know the order, actually. Okay. But I think I am on the first episode. Okay. That's what he said. And so Schuster is the doctor in that one. That's great.

That's really good. I was, I really needed you to lift me up then. But you're so ugly. I know. So, like, how could I have done that? I know. I put you in a really tight spot. Sure, I'm an incredible actor.

I'm not that good. Yeah, when Matt said, I needed you to try and lift me up there. Jess said, I did. Is it fun? Yeah, I'm hard on the ice. You're hard on the what? On the ice. Anyway.

You're hard on the ice. You should see him out there. Rock hard on the ice. On the ice? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The math. Yeah.

He gets weirdly hard. I lose all inhibitions. It's a problem. The front doors are open, if you know what I mean. So then actually, I'm sure you've heard of this one, 1987, Misery, which won a Bram Stoker Award. It was adapted into an Academy Award-winning film directed by Rob Reiner.

Oh, is that the Bunny Boyle one? No, don't know about it. No. What's that? Misery is the one where she's like, I haven't seen her about it, but from pop culture, I think, She's obsessed with a rider and she sort of kidnaps him. Yeah.

And she boils bunnies? Maybe. No, that's a, what's the bunny-bolo movie? I just know the term bunny boiler. We probably don't need to get bogged down. You brought up New Girl before. Yes. Rob Reiner plays Jess's dad in New Girl and they do a misery parody with him.

Oh, there you go. It's really fun. Bunny boiler is fatal attraction with Glenn Close. Thank you. So you were very Glenn Close. Glenn Close, but no. Wait, hang on. You're five of that?

Wow, I would have too if I was in reach. Yeah. That was fantastic, Dave. It's the delivery, I think, with Dave. And that's because he's hot as well. Exactly right. He's easy to look at. I'm a magnet for high fives and eyes.

Rob Reiner, so like I said, Castle Rock is, he's like co-founder of that production company, which made Seinfeld. But he directed Misery. So far, Kathy Bates, who is the leader in that. The Barney Boiler, if you will. Yeah, she could, yeah. So gling close. She won the Academy Award for Best Actress that year, which makes Misery the only film based on a novel by King to win an Academy Award so far.

Well, a bunch of been nominated, but that's the... And they're like huge moneymakers. Yeah, oh yeah, so profitable. That's why everything you put out, especially in the 80s, was like, there was a joke that, like, he writes that it would become a movie, like, by the end of the year type thing. Right. Because it was just, it was so prolific.

Wow. Then 1989, he released The Dark Half, a response. to being outed as Barkman, it's about an author whose literary alter ego takes on a life of its own. Oh. So that... Little threat to Brown there? Who's Brown?

The guy who outed him. Oh, yeah. Steve, it's Steve. Let's talk. Steve, baby. Hey, let's... From Steve to Steve. Also have to shout out another Rob Rana adaptation.

One of my all-time favorites, Stand By Me, 1986, the film and adaptation of his novella, The Body, which came out in 1982, starring Will Wheaton, River Phoenix, Cory Feldman, Jerry O'Connell. It rules. Yeah. Absolutely love it. I haven't seen that for ages. Jerry O'Connell's best work until slights.

Until slights. Yeah. Especially that episode where they went to another dimension where everything was the same, except all the women, had go teeth. It comes up so often. I love it. They're like, we need to. We have to get out of here.

We don't have a budget. The budget's gone. We need one more episode. But it was like that. It was like, oh, my God, if we can breathe the air, everything's normal. Oh, God. The women have goatees. I don't want to live in a reality with goatees.

So that's the 1980s, which weren't the best times for Stephen King. By the way, just sorry, Rob Ryan also just has a hot streak around this point, doesn't he? All of different genres, too. Rest in peace. Yeah, terribly sad. So that's the 1980s, which weren't the best times for Stephen King, because amongst all of this output and success, he was suffering from alcoholism and a cocaine addiction.

Biography.com writes, it became routine for him to write sober during the day and edit at night whilst he was inebriated. Eventually, the author started using cocaine and showing up to his son's baseball games with a drink in hand. That's the end of the quote. Later, he often wrote under the influence of cocaine and alcohol, and in his on writing book,

he maintains that he barely remembers writing Kujo at all. That's the rabbit dog. King goes on to say he likes the book and wishes he could remember enjoying the good parts as he put them down on the page. He's also since soured on the Tommy Knockers, describing it as an awful book due to his drug addiction whilst writing the novel, though acknowledges the story's potential. He says, there's really a good book in there underneath all the sorts of spurious energy that cocaine provides,

and I ought to go back. After the book was published... Tommy Knocker, too. Tommy Knockers, too, this time it's personal. after the book was published, King's wife staged an intervention and he agreed to seek treatment for addiction. And since then, he has reportedly remained sober for 35 years. Wow. And also kept up the output.

It's not like, he's like, I need this to write. It's like, no, he's just as prolific now. Well, it's interesting that, like, yeah, he's looking back at a book he doesn't remember writing and he's like, it's pretty good. Like, it's crazy that the quality is still good. It's amazing he has enough time to read his own work. He's got to keep writing. Yeah. We've got to do something on the walk from bed to, I don't know, the bathroom first thing in the morning.

He's reading a book. It seems stressful to me having to have this output, but I guess also it's just if it becomes like, it's like brushing his teeth or something. Yeah, it's just a normal. Your routine is you walk in there and you don't leave the room until you've got your work done. Wow. It does other stuff like, and he's on writing book, which sounds really good if you do want to be a writer. But I read like there's a couple of blogs that summarized some of the some key points if you want to look into it further.

And one was that when he goes into his office, if there's a window, he purposely faces the desk against the wall. So he doesn't get distracted by the outside. There's no TV in there. There's no internet. He just sits there and he locks in. On a typewriter. He's like, yeah, this is my job. I come in here and I do the work.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, I like it. I guess when you've done it for, like, yeah, you do it every every day for decades. It just becomes the thing you do. Now, so far, I've said all the novels, but I won't do that for the 1990s. But he did win four Bram Stoker Awards and published 13 more, including the Dark Tower 3 and 4.

And also in 1992, he put out Gerald's Game about a woman whose husband dies of a heart attack while she is handcuffed to a bed. A fart attack? Oh, no. He's not a fart attack. And following the subsequent realization that she is trapped with a little hope of rescue, she begins to let the voices inside her head take over. So why she's chained to the bed?

Yeah. Why was she chained to the bed? I think they're doing some sort of kinky stuff. Okay, great. I think. Yeah. And that he's just had a heart attack. That's unlucky.

That sucks. Yeah, that's why don't do anything kinky. Never. Again, it's another key related thing. Yeah, he's really into keys. Loves the key. He loves the key. That's how he also delivered the coke into his nose.

He loves a key. He'd love the bowling alley that we've been to for at Christmas parties. Oh, he would. He'd love the keys. Yeah. But he's also got a house in Florida. Oh. The Keys.

In 1996 came the Green Mile. The story of a death row inmate as a serial novel in six parts. It had the distinction of holding the first, fourth, tenth, 12th, 14th and 15th position on the New York Times bestseller list at the same time. Wow. I think you just put them all out at once. Wow. Yeah, or maybe they were staggered a little bit, but they were such big hits. Are they full novels each all?

six of them? I actually don't know how long they are. It feels like a little scammy otherwise. Like, yeah, I'm releasing in one chapter at a time. Full price. Yeah. Wow, that's interesting. I didn't know that. Looking at, this is again the AI overview, but the serial version is about 550 pages.

So, you know, maybe six small novels, but yeah. Caching in? I don't know. Or maybe it was one of those things where he put it out as he's writing it. Get it out. Get it out. Yeah. I don't know.

That's like some of the classics you've talked about. I don't treat it like that. They like came out as serials. Yeah. Oh, so many. Yeah. A lot of those early ones, yeah. They come out and then they just publish it all together and it's like, wow, this is

awesome. A lot of the Charles Dickens work as well. Of course, the Green Marr was adapted into the hugely successful Frank Darabont film in 1999. Another successful 90s adaptation of a king work is the Shawshank Redemption, adapted in 1994 from the 1982 King novella, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. Also, directed by Frank Daribond. And like we said at the start, it's the topic of our movie club podcast out this weekend on Patreon. And I'll give you a few more. I did a bit more research

on it before it won the vote. But I'll save that for the movie club. It's a little bit sizzle there. It was like the cliched answer for a long time for in footballer questionnaires. What's your favorite movie? It'd be like two out of three. NFL players would have, I mean, it was a good choice. Yeah. Do you know what the modern adaptation or modern version would be? Modern version would be. Oh, we'd have to ask Charlie and Will from, they are obsessed on their two guys one cup, footy adjacent podcast. They often, they'll read through the, the, little bios. A little bioes.

Oh, I wonder what it would be, yeah. What's, kind of like. Probably little women. Little women. Grita Girl Wigs Little women. They love that. I'll message Charlie. I'll find out. Give us the update. The decade and millennium didn't end so well for King, as in June 1999, King was struck by the driver of a van while out on a walk in Maine.

Shit. The driver was reportedly distracted by his dog. According to Biography.com, the accident left King severely injured. He sustained a gash on his scalp, broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a fractured right hip. Additionally, his leg was broken in several places on his left side. After three weeks in the hospital, King returned home in July. lie, but later required another surgery. Wow.

It took him a while to recover, but the crash didn't stop him from writing for very long. With the help of his wife, he returned to his work by the end of the month. That's just dedication. Remember when I got hit by a car and I said, I might be able to come in tomorrow. Yeah, and we said. And that wasn't even after my brother's birthday. Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. Like, where is the justice?

You didn't come in? I didn't, no. Yeah. You said you would, and then you just didn't turn him? I said, I'll probably be right to. and you both said, yeah, mate, and organized a guest. I don't think any of your siblings, you know, celebrated anything. No, it was October.

That's, yeah, nowhere near. Family birthdays are done by then. I'm last. Why were even leaving the house at that time of day? To come and do a fucking book cheat. I was writing home from doing a book sheet. Oh, my God. I forgot that it was a book cheat because I knew, I just said goodbye to you here.

In my memory, I'm like, we just did a do-go-one. It might have been. Matt wasn't there, though. Okay. We might have been doing either a bonus episode or a book cheat. Yeah, either way. It's Matt's fault. I'm sorry.

So Tabitha set up a makeshift desk so he could write from his wheelchair and he just kept writing. I'm reflecting on the incident, he said, it occurs to me that I have nearly been killed by a character out of one of my own novels. It's almost funny.

Like, you know, van out of control, kill a van. It's like, that happened to me. Yeah. I have seen it reported by screen around. This is one of those things that sounds too good to be true, but at a few other places online

that he bought the van that hit him at auction and had it crushed as an act of revenge and also so that no one could turn it into a novelty saying this is the van that almost killed Stephen King. Okay. So no, no, he feels nothing towards the driver, but the van he's really angry at. The driver, he did actually have a relation, like he commented on the driver because I think he avoided jail time. And then he later died on Stephen King's birthday years later or something and he put out

a statement saying, I was sad to hear about this guy dying. Okay. And he said he didn't want him to go to jail. Yeah, okay. But, um, sounds suss to me. Yeah. Sounds like he celebrated his birthday a little vengefully, so to speak. And I hope.

In brackets. I hope no one expected him to work the next day after celebrating a birthday. Yeah. What about your own birthday? That's got to be a two-day ride off. Oh, I don't know. Your own birthday. I don't know.

That's not really anything. Do you reckon your brother's back at work today this morning? I would hope so. Before 10.30? I would really hope so. Yeah. As a plumber. He's out on the, he's starting at six somewhere in a ditch somewhere and you're being like,

oh no. Someone else has to tell me your story at 10.30. Oh, no. Well, we didn't even start until 11. So. It's nearly lunchtime. It is. I'm just getting by.

Yeah. Well, don't worry. This hasn't been my best step. I think we'll all agree on that. Oh, we all agree on that. I think Dave. Could we agree? We've agreed on that within about the first five minutes of the episode.

Well, we've still got a bit to go. You can write this wrong. All right. All right. I'm going to be really, I'm going to get witty. Yeah. And intelligent. Is that what you want?

Oh, yeah. Okay. And do you think I could be, I could be as witty as the king? No. That would be ridiculous. Come on, man. Stuff like my pseudonym died of cancer. Yeah, stuff like that.

He's like, he's like. That didn't quite come out, right? I've written pause for laughter here. It didn't quite work. We've hit the 2000s and he experimented with new forms when he published Writing the Bullet. The world's first mass e-book with more than 500,000 downloads at $2.50 a pop. So, you know, it's made over a million bucks on that.

Fucking out. That's wild. I just put that out on his website. Apart from this, he wrote another 12 novels in the decade, including parts 5 to 7 of the Dark Town. and the 2006 novel, Cell, which has a flip phone covered in blood on the cover. Oh, yes. Have we seen that?

I've seen the cover. The story follows a New England artist struggling to reunite with his young son after a mysterious signal broadcast over the global cell phone network turns the majority of his fellow humans into mindless, vicious animals. Whoa. So that's 2006. Another thousand-page book came out, Under the Dome, which became a TV show. that I think I see advertised on Channel 7.

Oh, called Under the Dome? Under the Dome. It looks at, quote, how a town's inhabitants contend with the calamity of being suddenly cut off from the outside world by an impassable, invisible glass dome-like barrier that seemingly falls out of the sky, transforming the community into a domed city. The Simpsons movie did that too. I try, the Simpsons movie. Iepa, Iper.

That was a... What could it mean? No spoilers. That was a thousand. page book. Wow. Then the 2010 saw 13 more novels, including his 60th book, 11-22-63, that is about a time-traveler who attempts to prevent the assassination of United States President John F. Kennedy,

which also became a TV show. Did you see that one? No. Got a few years. I think it's James Franco. 11-26-92 or something. 11-22-63. See, yeah.

He's turning it around. He's turning it around. Yes. That's good stuff. Keep it gone. And you're wondering, how does Stephen King get his ideas? I am wondering that. Well, he says he often starts with a what if scenario.

Asking what would happen, for example, if an alcoholic writer was stranded with his family and haunted hotel, that's the shining, or if you could see the outcome of future events, that's the dead zone, or if one could travel in time to alter the course of history, 112263. And then he just goes from there, what if a rabbit dog trapped me in my car? what would happen Cujo Yeah

Right Okay What if a car was alive That's Christine What if a woman was alive That's Caroline And other things happen as well What if a woman was alive

Hypothetically of course In the 2010s you released a sequel to The Shining This is like decades later Called Doctor Sleep That soon became a movie as well That's the guy That guy is in Welcome to Dairy

Doctor Sleep He's got like, yeah, he's got mind powers. Dr. Sleep feels like a medical practitioner you need to see. Oh, man, there was a guy who came to see a show in Adelaide, and he is a sleep scientist, and we chatted after, and he had some interesting things. He said he was going to get in contact. I've been sitting by the phone. Stood up by a scientist again.

Can't trust them. When will my heart learn? I keep letting in these scientists. Do you mean Ewan McGregor? I forget the question. He was the lead in Dr. Sleep? He was the lead in Dr. Sleep. Oh, no.

But the character Dr. Sleep is in. Welcome to Derek. Oh, the character. Sorry, I thought you were saying that you're like, I couldn't think of the actor before. And I'm like, it's Ewan McGregor. Oh, no. You're saying, yeah, because that joined the two universes.

Yeah. Yeah, love that, love that. Which, you're in McGregor, there was a TV version of it. Oh, yeah, I think it's a new version of Doctor Sleep. He doesn't look anything like Ewan McGregor. Oh, so he's ugly. No, no. If he doesn't look anything like Ewan McGregor, he's a fuggo.

Oh, that's such a good point. Yeah. He's the gold standard. It's so beautiful. Hello there. So, that is Dr. Sleep. He published the hardball detective crime novel, Mr. Mercedes, which was the first in the Bill Hodges trilogy. It won the Edgar Award for Best Novel in 2015. which is presented every year by the mystery writers of America. Really? That feels like that's been adapted, has it? Almost certainly. Mr. Mercedes rings a bell.

In 2018, he released the horror novel The Outsider, which features the character Holly Gibney, who originally appeared in the Bill Hodges trilogy and later two more novels, Holly and Never Flinch, and I know she was in movies, the character. So I'm sure that Mr. Mercedes is also a movie. I gotta read some seven king books Oh it's a it's like sorry I've looked it up

It's a critically acclaimed three-season television thriller Sick Called Mr Mercedes Is you got high reading Is you have McGregor in it or Let me look it up No so not worth a look Though it does have Brendan Gleason

Oh It's always excellent Yeah Second hottest man in the world That's right Both Both Celtic One Scottish world's Irish right

No are they both Yeah yeah Don't worry about it They're two parts of me, you know, so I can say that. Yeah, you're allowed to say that. I've got those in me. Perfect save. Yeah.

So that brings us to our current decade, because Holly and Never Flint were released in the 2020s, where he's already released seven novels with another duet in October 2026 called Other Worlds Than These, the third and the final book in the Talisman series that he previously co-wrote with Peter Straub, who sadly died in 2022. He also has done a few co-labs, some with his son, and so he often works with other writers too. Wow. He just loves writing.

He loves writing. The man loves to write. He loves to write. He lives the writer. So to date, King has published 67 novels on novellas, as well as more than 200 short stories. He's written two graphic novels and multiple screenplays of his own. His book sales are estimated to be over 400 million.

making him one of the most successful writers of all time. He's called The King of Horror, but over the decades he has experimented with all kinds of styles, fantasy, crime, drama, mystery, romance, suspense, western, supernatural, often blending these genres together. So I think that I would have thought that he's the kind of guy that just churns out a lot of stuff. But he also does, like you've had before this report,

but I now know that he does a lot of experimentation. A lot of it's with tongue-in-cheek, like putting himself in the novels. I think he's just having a bit of fun. Yeah. And he just has the freedom to do that because he's so wildly successful. But just from the get-go, like his first book. So there's obvious talent there. You know, like it's undeniable, but crazy.

The career he's had, it's wild. And I think critics are divided. Some critics will say that it is just slop, but a lot of other acclaimed writers who write, like, quote-unquote, like literary fiction do say, no, I think he's a great. great writer and that like his stories are awesome. And obviously, they're entertaining as hell because over a hundred movies and TV shows are also based on it.

And most of them are very successful. Yeah, exactly. It is when you're a writer and someone else is just banging them out and they're all big hits, it would be nice to tell yourself, I think, that it is. Yeah. It's just drivel. Yeah, yeah. What I'm doing is art.

Yeah, that's what it took me eight years to come up with this. Yeah. Don't you reckon? I sort of understand. I'm like, you've got to tell yourself, you're going to tell yourself to keep going. Yeah, he did three this year and then were all hits, and then they all became TV shows or movies.

But it is also interesting. Like, it was proven that his work is, his name is a big part of his success. Yep, that's true. And I wonder, it must be so difficult as well, because everything, he had this early success and then followed it up with, obviously, good quality stuff. So yes, his name now means something.

But if, I don't know, writing under that, nom de plume. Is that what it is? Something like that. Yeah. I've said it different. I've been saying nom and non, but I think it's nom. Anyway.

It's French. It's not French. But the, like, the marketing. It's French, so I get it. Yeah, you get it. That's also part of you. Yeah. It means name of plum.

And because the first person who used a nom de plume just went by Mr. Plum. Got it. Yeah. So, yeah. You were doing really well at bringing it back, and you've actually kind of fucked it again. I thought that was a bit of fun.

Nah, I was trying to... It might have been I wasn't really listening. I was trying to be, have a bit of fun. Yeah, no, stop that. Okay. Stop that one. You'll stop it right there.

Yeah, it's just you're saying with the marketing behind it. Yeah, I just think like the, I mean, how are people supposed to discover books? Even now? Like, you're putting something out and you don't have a huge social media following or a big name to yourself already. It's impossible for your book to be found by a large audience. Yeah, that's really hard. Yeah.

I think it's interesting. Unless Oprah finds it. Yeah. Come on, oh, bro. Read my manuscript. For every, like, Stephen King or like Lee Child or something, his first book is massive. Yeah.

Like, there's like 10,000 others who aren't instantly bestsellers. So it's difficult. I think I called Carrie by a full name before. I apologize. Because you were still thinking of Coraline, the little animation. Imagine a woman's alive, Carrie. If AJ wants to fix that up in post. Don't worry about it, AJ.

He won't. So just to sum up. the achievements of Stephen King, he has won over 100 awards from many more hundreds of nominations. As of 2019, he holds the record for both the most nominations, 33 and wins, 13, at the Bram Stoker Awards, presented annually by the Horror Writers Association. Horror writers, that's hard to say that, which are for superior achievement, superior achievement in dark fantasy and horror writing. From all the success, he, of course, has a lot of money.

But as I alluded to earlier, Stephen and his wife Tabitha are very philanthropic with their wealth. They started the Stephen and Tabitha King Foundation in 1986. Oh, he did that with his wife. Yeah. It should have been Stephen King and wife foundation. Yeah, Stephen King and Ball and Chain Foundation. He's also been very vocal about how wealthy Americans like him should be paying more tax. In 2012, King wrote that he gives about $4 million annually to libraries, local file.

fire departments that need updated life-saving equipment like Jaws of Life tools are always a popular request, you wrote. He's doing that just to save the haunted fire hoses coming off. Please, please. I help you, help me. Don't take my three-year-old son. He's wrote, schools and a scattering of all the organizations that underwrite the arts. So, like, they give away a lot of their money.

I've got a reply from Charlie says they all mention dark night these days. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is. That is perfect. The shining of the 2000. Dark night. Sorry, the Shawshank redemption, sorry, yes. Which maybe the shining would have been one from the 80s.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, there you go, that's Stephen King, who, to thank you to the 18 people who suggested it. And the people that voted for it, I found him much more interesting to research than I would have thought. I've got a newfound respect, and I'm going to try and read one of his books, I reckon. Probably not it. Nah. It's a bit over a thousand pages. That's a bit much.

But maybe the werewolf one. Yeah. Yeah. So every chapter's another month? Yeah. And a new story. That sounds like fun. Yeah, that's a tanker.

And they're all sort of tell. You don't like horror movies, but you don't mind horror books. Is that fair to say? Yeah, I mean, I've experimented on bookchit with a couple of horror books and I really enjoyed them. He's experimented. Yeah. Yeah.

Fapping. I was turned on. Yeah. But that's why people love horror Horror movies Yeah exactly But they're a bit scary You gotta take your aggression out

Somewhere Why not downtown They're a bit scary for me Yeah Do you get scared by books You know what I mean Well You can just sort of go like

Oh I've just got a great idea A book Becomes alive It's a demon Imagine And it just starts going Oh that's good And it's like

numbing on you With the soft papery mouth By the time This episode comes out that he will have released that book. It'll be a movie. Yeah. Wow.

There you go. I didn't know really anything about him. Yeah, me or that, to be honest. And a lot of the things, I'm like, that's also his work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Under the Dome, that's a TV show I've seen, or the JFK one, 1122, 62, 63. I'm like, yeah, I've seen ads for that.

That's a Stephen King book. Right. What's the secret window, that Johnny Depp film? That's also one of his. Yeah, I didn't know Green Mile was. Yeah, he's so prolific and so successful. And I hope he keeps churning him out because it's cool. Yeah.

It is cool. Writing is cool. Really cool. I think it's cool. I think it's radical. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of show. Dave, can I just say fantastic work on Stephen King? You're the king of Stephen King reports.

Thank you. For this podcast. For this podcast. Yeah, resets next week, obviously. Yeah. Oh, this podcast episode. Yeah. And now we like to dedicate the last little portion of our show to our great supporters.

These are the people without whom the show would have like driven off a cliff literally, figuratively, metaphorically, metaphysically years ago. But no, with their support, we're staying on that road. We're continuing down that highway of podcasting to hell. And oh, by the way, a Patreon has sent him. in a song, I want to play it right at the end. Okay. It's a banger. But you will have to put your headphones on.

Well, I'm not, I'll do that then. And can I also say, Jess, I reckon it might induce a migraine. But we'll find out. Fabulous. So, first up, what we like to do in this section of show is for people who have joined up as supporters at patreon.com slash stucgonpod. We firstly talk about some of our Sydney Shineburgers. They're on a level where they get to give us a.

a fact, a quota, a question, or a brag or a suggestion, or really, whatever they like. And actually, I think this section of the show has a jingle. Might go something like this. Fact, quote, or questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly how it went. Oh, he remembered the ding. He always does. And she remembers the thing. She always does as well. I think that's how that goes.

Yeah. Now, the first one this week comes from Sam Cutler. And a fact question, a quote in questioners, get to give us a title as well, themselves, I should say. They get to give us a title for themselves. I think I'll put that. Can't put that any simpler. Sam Cutler's got the title of Sam Spam-A-Lot the 6th. Okay.

Now, Sam, under Fat Quarter Question, has written, Update and Sneaky Question. Oh. Okay. See if you can see what this is coming. All right. Sam writes, Oh, hey, my three favorites.

Long time, no type, but we made it. It's 2026, Ermeiger. I'm a tired husk of a Sam, but a happy husk. Update on directing my second film Scarecrow's Wedding. I'm alive! Sort of emoji, I think, like arms up in the air and a big smile. And thanks to the New Year's song you did last year, I sour cream and thrived.

Big smiley face, big smiley face, big smiley face. E. He he. Hope you remember. And this makes sense. Ha ha! I made your song my alarm in the mornings. Having Matt sing weird lyrics, just giving funny suggestions and laughing with Dave is the fippin' best way to wake up! Amoji with arms up in the air. My friend says having you guys my alarm is super creepy. If you find it creepy, then I'm also sorry. I'm a guilty, creepy creep. A-A-A-A-A-anywho, my team and I worked like crazy to finish the film in time, and I'm truly delighted with how it came out.

Hope you guys can see it at some point. Maybe now that Dave has a baba in its prime of lime content, Jess, your four-legged baby can watch two squeezy emoji with like the eyes are squeezing, the grin is big. We now go into festival season, which is exciting. Fingers crossed the film does well, like smeds and smoze. Yeah, yeah, yeah. P.S.

I'm almost as old as the wind. Can Matt be my Valentine? What are the qualifications needed for the prestigious position? I would be most chuffed to acquire this honour. Okay, bye. Arms up emoji PPS, but don't read this bit out loud. Okay. That's come.

Okay. Will you tell us off, Mike, what that bit was? It was like something that legally not allowed to say because of a NDA. I see. Do without what you will. I will. Or AJ edited it out, I don't know. I will do something with that.

I don't think it's creepy that Sam's got, I can't, can you remember it? We recorded something as a. I can't remember it at all. I reckon that must have been Sam's last fact quote or question. It can't surprise anybody that I don't remember it though. No. So if Dave doesn't remember it, then something seriously. Fred, I don't remember the sour cream.

Okay, something is seriously wrong. But it sounds like it was a fun time. Yes. Yes. Matt, can I just say you channeled that energy so perfectly. That was beautiful. Because we met Sam before and I don't think I'm channeling it very well at all. Sort of got like a sweet energy and I feel like I really flattened out.

No, that was really up the whole time. That was beautiful to watch. It was honestly full on. Yeah. That was full on, bro. Full on, but beautiful. fall on in the most beautiful way I just looking back

we did the last was press your luck that was a while ago but anyway this is vaguely rings a bell but yeah I don't think I don't think that's creepy at all play a play us as a

your wake-up alarm and tell your friend to be honest to fuck off yeah can they find it creepy yeah I find them creepy you should tell your friends to fuck off anytime

anytime they disagree with anything you say anytime they disagree anything with what we say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds great that the film Scarecrow's Wedding has gone great. Oh, it has? No, I'm so excited it's finished.

Oh, yes. It's been released. I've looked it up. It's available in Australia on ABC Eye View. Oh, that's awesome. It goes for about 30 minutes. It's based on the book by Julia Donaldson and Axel Sheffler, and they're very famous for The Gruffalo.

Ah, yes. So, yeah, Sam's sent that in about a month ago. So things have been moving along. It's also on BBC 1 of you're in the UK. Awesome. Want to watch it? How cool is that? It's awesome.

There's a trailer. I just watched a trailer. It's a proper movie. It's awesome. That's so cool. Congratulations, Sam. I mean, now that you're a big Hollywood heavyweight, of course you could be my Valentine.

As long as that's all it involves. Yeah. As long as there are no follow-up question. Sure. But yeah, it's so good. Congratulations. I mean, Valentine's Day is... Long gone.

It was at the time of you're writing that message the next day. I see. But now it's about a month ago. Or getting in early. Oh, that's true. 11 months in advance. Thank you so much, Sam. I do really love reading your words because, like, you sound like...

You write like you talk. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And it's fun. That's a fun energy. See, he writes like people talk. A Simpsons Thank you so much Sam

Next one comes from Dave Loring A.k.a reigning champion of the overhead Dave press. Oh, that's right, Robin. That's right. After a context, have we ever publicly posted this video? I think we did.

Or maybe it's in the Patreon group that after a Hobart show, Dave Loring, who is a bit of a, the muscle man of the show. Asked politely, I must say very politely if he could attempt to

deadlift me. Is that the correct terminology? No. Yeah. Well, he said overhead press. Okay, overhead press me. Yeah, great. Like they do weightlessers to do at the Olympics.

Yeah. Clean and jerked. Clean and jerked me, absolutely. Clean and there was nothing clean about it. And, uh, yeah. Nothing clean about it. What do you mean? Do you shoot yourself?

Yeah. Did you see? I really fell. I felt sick the whole time. But just stoned. If I can tell you something, I, uh, I drank that night like it was a really big brother's birthday. You love of me. Like your biggest brother.

Yeah. Tommy is your biggest brother. I really. After that night, I have, yeah, I've cut back. Until last night. Last night. Last night was pretty tidy. Then what's with the fucking whinging today?

I tell you what, if it was, the next day was the grand final day. I was, I was ruined. And what time was your flight out of Hobart? I look, it's a blur, all of it. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I'm a new man. And I'm taking responsibility. So Dave Loring overhead pressed Dave Warnocky.

Yes, sorry. Thank you. Thank you. And another one. Dave's, under a fact quarter question, Dave's written, expression of abouliant joy. Oh, wow. Abulient joy. Dave.

Can't see the word you're reading. But. Abulian. I'm going to say that's, if it's not, if that's not how it was pronounced, that's how it is pronounced. That's how you say it. No, that's how we all say it. Yeah. Now.

God, I was supporting you. Dave writes, but so does everyone else. That is by decree. Dave writes, hey, mates. My cat has been really unwell lately. I had to change tone quickly. Yeah, you did, you did. My cat has been really unwell lately with a pretty severe case of hypothyroidism.

Even though she's the equivalent of about 87 years old in human years, she's still my sweet little kitty cat, and it's been a rough time. had to check up with the vet today to see how she's been responding to her medication. And even though she's been in good spirits lately, I think half of me was expecting to be told that it was the beginning of the end for her. But her bloods came back showing not only that she is responding well to the medication, but in fact, really fucking excellently to it, it being the medication. Her thyroid levels were so high, they'd gone.

Off the charts before, but now they're comfortably back in the normal range, and those good spirits of hers aren't just me imagining things. Honestly, I feel like running through the streets, cheering and shouting like Scrooge on Christmas Day. But in the absence of Christmas, or being as much of a bastard as Scrooge, I think this is the next big thing. Hooray! Hooray for cats! Hooray for veterinary medicine and so forth!

hope you're well love you by what a roller coaster great news thank goodness it ended there Dave well thank God it didn't end there Dave true Dave great news Dave so good

that's really good news thank goodness I think that cat's going to live forever that's the feeling I get I'm sort of an amateur vet you can't call what you do veterinary sciences

amateur What you do is sort of how they predict serial killers of the future, okay? Yeah. And stop doing it. Well, how are you going to fix them if you don't know what's inside him? Is that the joke? I'm saying I'm cutting up animals. I tried to yes and, but it was pretty grim stuff, to be honest.

Shut. The last one this week comes from Cheryl, Anglesman. And Cheryl's got the title of Queen of Still having a giant toddler. Oh, of course. Giant Todd. Big Todd. The dog. Big Todd the dog. Under fat quote a question, this is the most random bunch of fat quotes of questions.

Under fact quote of questions, Cheryl has written, update on the thick set Todd. Yes. Writing, hey, mates, just wanted to give an update on the giant slobber monster I live with. Her name is Jess, S-A-O-I-R-S-E. Sersia. I live with, I live with, full stop. Her name is Sershah. I know it's a hard one.

Oh my God, if I just read the next fucking line. Sersha, spelt phonetically. She is 125 LBS, pounds to some, or 656-ish KG. Oof. Far over Dave's comedy weight. I was about to ask Dave. You're about 51, isn't it? 52.

Oh, 52 was the comedy weight, that's right. But now you are, since you've been beefing up. Yeah, that's right. That'd be about the weight of one of your biceps. Unfunny weight of 63. It's so pretty funny. You should put on a few more and get to 69. That's all right.

Now I'm rounding up. I'm talking about I-Wa-69. Thank God we had a milkshake for lunch. Yeah. It starts here. Cheryl continues. She just sent four in January and her second gotcha day was February 7th. What's gotcha day, Bob?

The day you got them. That makes sense. So she's been a spoiled princess girl and still listens to the pod with me. I say it's time for my programs in inverted commas, like I'm 92. But she gets excited and listens with me. She has my whole heart and will someday see her brother from another mother, Rupert, across that rainbow bridge. Until then, but maybe sooner, it's Thick Set Todd out.

Thank you so much, Cheryl. I love that thick set Todd. Always nice to hear about the thick set Todd. Can I argue with that. Cheryl, Dave and Sam, three, just great news. That was a feel good. week. Yeah, that's a good question.

We welcome good and bad news, whatever you want to give us. Facts, quotes, questions, or otherwise. The next thing we like to do is shout out to some of our other great supporters. Jess normally has a game based on the subject of the episode. Any thoughts today, Jess? Matt's going to come up with an elevator pitch of the horror novel you're writing. Okay. That is fantastic.

So you're going to do Place and Dave's going to do names or something like that? Yeah, I'll give you the name. That sounds good to me. I'm going to have to blank my mind and just go with it. Yeah, go to the Mine Palace. So these are all but Stephen King and style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely fantastic.

Clear out the cobwebs. It's a killer car. It's a killer dog. Dave, I'm trying to clear it out. Stop cramming stuff back in there. Sorry. Give him a moment. I'm excited.

I know, but give him a moment to clear it all out. Okay. A car dog. No, no. He's a real hoarder in the Mine Palace. Yeah, that's right. Clear it out. Kick it out.

Kick it out of it. Every thought he's a little. ever had is in there. Wow. All 10? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just the same 10 thoughts. Okay. Get it out. Get it out. Okay. Are you blank? Yeah. First up.

From Morristown in, I'm guessing, New Jersey. It's David J. Brimer. The forest is whispering and bringing you in. But the secrets it tells you, makes you lose your mind. Oh, that's pretty good. Don't press too many. I'm not going to say, praise only.

Praise only. Praise only. Praise only. Praise only. Praise only. That's so good. Next up from address unknown, we can only assume deep within the fortress of the malls.

It's Gary Connolly. At a canning factory, pet food's being made, but the pet food once ingested makes the animal super intelligent and they know, longer want to be subordinate to their owners and masters. Wow. That's awesome. That's pretty cool.

Nothing. That's nothing. That's awesome. That's enough for Stephen King. He could do something with that. Yeah, he's going, What If, and that's what we're doing now. If I was your wife, I'd be getting that out of the trash can and get saying, there's something in here. Stop asking Matt to make you his wife. For example, I could be great. Just hypothetically. I could do a lot for you. This is something I would do. Hypothetically, if I was your wife. Please. Also from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles.

It's Christy Price. Christy Price, it's a game show where the contestants don't realize this, but the game they are playing is actually inside the mind of a demon. Wow, that's great. The Price is evil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Next up from Bingley in Great Britain. Vicky Metcalf.

A golfer. makes a deal with the devil to be incredibly good at his craft, but it doesn't realize the cost, which is every time he hits a ball, a puppy is put to death. Whoa. Oh, I didn't like how that ended. Hey, but you know what? That's horror, I guess.

The first thing I thought was orphan. Offen, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Orphan puppy. We could split the difference. Yeah. But you're just being true to the art form.

A lot of his books, bad stuff happens. Yeah. But yeah, maybe, you know, if we're going to holler, we would have fight, maybe they're insects. Yeah. You know, I think it's more palatable for. Right, but then there's so many bees dying or something that the planet's under threat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy's killing bees, but he's like, but I'm the best girl forever.

Yep. Next up from Torquay in Victoria. From Torquie. It's Shannon. Am I hopefully saying this right? Peach. Yeah. Shannon Peach.

I'm basing that on a rugby player whose name is that and it's Peach. Oh, great. Shannon Peach. A man wakes up in a coma. But obviously he doesn't wake up, but he wakes up inside his own mind. Whoa. Which is a huge palace full of so many doors. Unspeakable amount of doors.

He has a key. How many? One million. Oh, that's very speakable. Well, yeah, but he doesn't know that. Right. It looks unspeakable. Numerous.

To him. It's going to take him ages to figure out. Yeah. And yeah, he's got one key, and at first he thinks it opens all doors, but as it turns out, as far as he can tell, it opens none. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a horror. It's like, yeah, like whatever the opposite of a skeleton key, I guess it's a flesh key.

Right, good title. The flesh key. The flesh key. Yeah. But in the journey finds himself. Yeah, but I'm thinking flesh key, in a different very popular genre, like romance, a flesh key would be. probably be a euphemism for something else.

I didn't follow. A dick. Oh, and a flesh keyhole. Yeah. What would that be? A butt. Probably? Yeah, I guess so.

Next up. Yeah, well, that's not the kind of books we're writing right now. That's all it is. Sorry, I've got to clear that. I'm going to clear that smut out of my mind. Sorry, clear it out of there. From, what do you reckon this is, Wynnelly?

Yeah, Win Malley. It's Elizabeth. Skibiris. I went to Skis. Go with a Skiberis. Oh, right, because it could have been Siberus. Let's just say, I don't reckon you're right. Elizabeth, Skabiris.

The world is mirrors. Oh, that's spooky. Holy shit. And, like, everything's mirrors. Bad angle, too, so you always look bad. Yeah, yeah. That's great. Like, Stephen's publisher calls him and says, what's the new book?

He just says, the world is mirrors. Hangs up, and the publisher goes, we've done it again. This is going to be big. Order that second tub. Yeah. Honey, buy that beach house we were looking at. I think we're going to get a second hair. Hair dryer.

It's like a hair dryer. You know, like, what's real is sort of the question that's asking. Oh, totally. No, we get it. As do those publishers and their wives. And the noise they're hearing? It's not, ooh, it's touching. Correct.

From Stone Mountain in, what's GA, Georgia? Yeah, I'm thinking it might be. Stone Mountain, Georgia. It's Mark R. Boyd. A man wakes. up in a coma. Biblical times. Oh no.

He finds himself in the job of Stone Master General. Stone Master? He has to kill with the stones. But he's a really bad shot. Oh no. So like he keeps missing. Yeah. And it just means that like they, he sort of bruises the people he's meant to be killing.

Yeah. And they end up dying of salvation. He has to be there. And it's just like they're there for ages. This is just the elevator pitch. And it's really, it's awful. It's horrible. Stephen?

Well, that was Mark. Mark, you've done it again. Wow. I mean, Stephen's written so many of them. He sort of just getting new people into it, right for him. How many of? Two more. Okay.

So, penultimate from Wellington and New Zealand. It's Mayor or Maya. Uh, Maya, uh, gets the dream job, town mayor or Maya. And, uh, unfortunately, it's a poison chalice, quite literally, um, because after getting the keys of the city, quite literally, uh, and the robes, again literally, uh, and the crown, which is metaphorical, um, they find out that there is a chalice and it's sort of like this, uh, This occultist thing. And really the mayor is just a puppet of this sort of undead society who sup on the blood of virgins.

Wow. Yeah. Like nerds. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How many pages are you reckon that one is? Well, it sounds like he's got two lengths, either 127 or 11,000. Or somewhere in between.

11,000. It's impressive. Impressive, Maya. That's a time. Okay, and finally, from Darwin in Great Britain. Hello, and thank you to Stephanie Dickinson. All of a sudden, evolution hits its peak and starts going in reverse, quick. Oh, yeah, nice.

Oh, wow, okay, people are devolving. Quick, dot, dot, dot. Yeah, because if we did it over the same amount of time, it would be very drawn-out novel. But it's happening like people are, it's happening to them. The space of what, do you reckon? Like, what sort of a week or a couple of days or hours? I reckon a week. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, it's because radio waves. Sure. Good explanation. They listen. It's like this really popular top 40 countdown show. Right. And if you listen to that.

That's what. You devolve. Whoa. That's full on. Yeah. It keeps off with the gotcha call. I never thought radio would be the bad guy. Yeah, well, that's what Stephen King's done here.

His position radio sort of playing against talk. I've done a bit of what if. What if radio was bad. What if radio wasn't the hero for once. Yeah. Makes you think. That's amazing. Yeah.

Do we get through that? Yes, thank you again to. Stephanie, Maya, Mark, Elizabeth, Shannon, Vicky, Christy, Gary and David. And where do I get my ideas from? Now, the mine palace. I really did try to empty it out. And some of those are words taking cues from names. I'll pick behind the curtain.

We didn't pick that up, but that was beautiful. Wasn't to me. So that means just a couple more things to do. Tripditch Club and triple triptitch club this week. Dave, please explain. As your favourite politician famously wants to ask. I would love to. Which one?

I think a few of them have been in the dark on several issues, but let me explain. We are taking a turn to, no, that's the wrong bit. I'm sort of floundering a bit now. I zoned out and went on Facebook. books, so I can't even help. I don't know what we're doing. Do you know that I also zoned out to... Explain the Triptage Club. Oh, yeah, okay, great.

Tritage Club is for people who have supported the show for three consecutive years, and we welcome them into an exclusive club. Once you're in, you can never leave, but why would you want to? Because it has everything you could possibly need. Dave books are banned. I'm behind the bar. We've got a kitchen. The oven's a bit faulty, but if you like, incredibly hot food, this is the place for you.

Matt is lifting the velvet rope. He welcomes you in. Everybody cheers for. you. This place has everything. We've got like a time zone up the back now. It's pretty sick. Please leave my air hockey table alone. Matt keeps fucking with it. But the toilets have... I'm going to tell you about that. What? You had to leave early recently and I forgot. I could never remember. Do you want us to make them ice table hockey? No, ice table hockey is not a thing. I've done it. I keep, I keep double bluffing myself. I'm like, no. She doesn't want me to not

make it ice so I think she wants me to make it ice. I'm honestly sick of having this conversation with you. I'm so confused. You really need to write it down. I have. Oh, I can't read in this room because of all the, because of the black light. Dave, have you booked a band?

You're never going to believe it. Why? I've been trying to get this band to come in for years. Really? Wow. One of the most influential acts of the 20th century. and they're here to perform their hit song Pet Cemetery. It's Ramones.

Whoa. That's right. Whoa. And they're all back from the dead. Pet Cemetery style. Yeah, that's right. We've revived them all. Most of them.

They will be wearing the leather jackets. Oh, that's part of the contract. That's part of the contract. Happy birthday, old man. Or whatever they said. Go to hell, you old bastard. I was not even close. Now, we've got bloody hell, six inductees.

this week. Did you have a drink this week, Jess, a cocktail? I did have a drink, thank you. Yeah, it was delicious. What's the Stephen King cocktail that you had and made? Um, oh, I thought you were just asking me if I had a drink this week. Yeah, what was it? Uh, it was a pineapple and watermelon V refresh. Yeah, fantastic. So that is available over the bar. Jesus, I tell you what. Sorry, no, I just need to get the camera back on me. The one that Jess was away from. Just hang out, if I can just get the camera back on me for a sec. Then I'll just stare, I'll just stare really dead eye down the camera and I assume V will see this and want to reach out and sponsor us. You're welcome for that, V cash.

Okay. If that happens, I forgive you. I'd like to reach out to Plum. If you want to sponsor me, the good people at Plum, I'm eating, I'm going to eat this later. I'd like to shout out to the good people at Erdinger. Erdinger. Mmm, that's a good beer. Basically, we're trying to say, we are for sale.

Yeah, we got a price and it's whatever you got. So six in nocties this week, like Jess said. I'm going to read out the name. I'm going to lift a velvet rope. If you hear your name, jog on in, Dave's up on stage, hop and you up, he's the MC. Hell yeah. He does it with a bit of weak word play based on your name.

Or where you're from, Jess hyps up Dave, because in this section of the show, we play a character, Dave plays a character that he's not full of confidence. Hey, he's not playing a character. Thank you. Okay. Dave is a little husk of a man. Okay.

Now, first up from Or should I say, should I? No. That this guy damned me on Patreon. I implore you to do the same out there if you think your name has been missed because he should have been shouted out about five years ago. And he was just shouted out on this episode as well. It was a shoutout and triptitch.

Yes, that's right. Oh, I see. Well, you missed him twice? Well, we missed him. Completely. I see. I was like, how crazy that he's in there. Yeah, yeah.

I see, you did that on purpose. Okay. Never mind. It's not that interesting. Yeah. You were like, how's this physically possible? I was like, wow. I didn't really take it in before because it was in my mind palace.

Sure. But now that I'm back here on the, you know, the mortal coil. Yeah. Is that what they say? So from Morristown, New Jersey, welcome him in to the Triptitch Club. It is well overdue, David J. Brimer. It'll be a crime. We didn't welcome Brima.

Woo! Come on in. From Reston, Virginia. Also in the United States, welcome in Dina, Gotsman. You know, you got's what I need, Dina. Goddard'sman, maybe. And from... He got us what I need.

Dina. Still works. Again from the US, from Indianapolis, Indiana, just the same state as the great Gary. Welcome in, Azade. Azade. Here, enjoy this free blade. Yeah.

And I hand them a knife. I hand it out knives. Yeah, yeah. But only this ones. I've got heaps more in my van. From Paul and Oregon again in the US. Welcome in. Echie or Essie Hughes.

Some people like rhythm and blues, but I like my rhythm with hues. How would you pronounce that, E-C-Y? I would, maybe a soft sound, Essey. Essie. from Horsham, maybe in Wessex, Wessex, as the county in Great Britain, welcome into the club, Jingold.

Are you going to get one jingold medal from me? No silver for you. And finally from Austin State, We had Texas in the United States. Welcome in Breezy. Easy Peasy. Welcome Breezy. Welcome in Breezy, Jinglead.

Essie, Azade, Dina, or Dinah, and David. And the last thing we have to do, we got one inductee into the triple triptage club. This is a whole other thing. This is for people who've been signed up on the shoutout level or above for nine straight years, if you don't mind. I mind. Oh. Kidding! Oh, my God.

Now, yeah, this is a whole, we open up a door. There's another rope. This rope is gold. Yeah. Steven. Stephen has it. Stephen built it. And inside that room, it's, you know, it's like Renaissance paintings on the wall. Wow.

And one of them is going to be painted of you, and it's going to be either Leonardo DiCaprio or Leonardo da Vinci, your choice. Tasteful nude. Tasteful nude. Your choice. You know, untasteful nude. Or you can keep your clothes on. You can go full bush if you want. Yeah.

One, either you or the artist has to be nude, don't. Nothing tastesful about a full bush. That's what you're going to play. It's more about the pose I'm imagining. Oh, okay, there's like, bush will not tasteful. It's the pose, which I'll explain later. Okay, okay, okay, okay. The bush is back, guys.

And it's more tasteful than ever. So, for the Triple Tripitig Club, I believe, if I recall it right, Jess gives you a kiss. Dave gives you a salute and a compliment, and I give you the keys, if you will, to a classic episode that you will now be the sole guardian of. All right, are we ready? Yes.

So I'd love to induct in from right here in Melbourne in Preston. Please welcome into the Triple Triptitch Club. It's Laura Cotterill. Laura, you can do it. Salute. Oh, fuck. Why do I forget this bit? Talk amongst yourselves.

How are you? Oh yeah, I'm good, thank you. What color would you say that shirt is? Oh my God. It's like a grey. It's almost like a mushroom grey. Mushroom, okay. Do you like that?

You can cut that out. Yeah. Okay. Stop that. That was some of the worst small talk I've ever heard. What? We've never met. We've got nothing.

I mean, that's clear. No chemistry. Jess, I believe you might have even mentioned this episode today. Laura Cotterill is now the... What did I say? Custodian. Custodian of episode 15, the Spice Girls. Oh, wow.

That's Jess' best ever report. Yeah, my best ever report that I remember. Welcome in, Laura. Make yourself right at home. Now, Jess, we need to tell anyone anything before we go? Just how much we love them and value them. Yeah. that you can suggest a topic.

There's a link in the show notes. You can also go to our website, just dogoonpod.com. You can find us on social media at DoGoOnPod or Do Go on Podcast on TikTok. And we have other podcasts that we do. We do. Who knew it with Matt Stewart, book cheat, Jess writes a romcom and others. Yeah. Cop that listen now.

And primates. Oh, come that primates. Well, yes. Oh, and we've got some live shows coming up during the Comedy Festival. this is coming out before then. Yes, it absolutely is. We'd love to see you there. And stay tuned because there might be some more shows to announce soon.

Oh, my God. I'm so excited to announce these shows, or for Dave to announce them, to be honest. Dave, boot this baby home. Thank you so much for listening. Oh, hang on. We're going to finish with a song. You're ready? Yes, absolutely.

You boot it home and we'll finish with the song. Do you give a credit to who wrote the song on the way? Yes. Matt Linneker. I said, last night he couldn't sleep. so he made this track, which includes his favorite quote from the show. And then he says,

Bone Apple tea, which is a bit of fun. Thanks, Matt. We appreciate that. If anyone else wants to send a song in, we'd love to hear from you. But until next time, thanks for listening, and I'll say goodbye. Later's.

Bye. What have you Googled now? Just an image of it. I've identified it immediately. Wow, it is huge. I've identified it immediately. From what? I've identified it all.

What is that? Do you recognize it? Is that what you have? Is there a line up? I did. Could I show you a picture? I said, identified it because I didn't want to spoil what you were to say. And what do I want to say?

Where's it from? I don't want to say. Where's it from? Before I go. How? Jeez, you're a bitch. I'll stand by that, Dave. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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