Do Go On - 552 - Chang and Eng, the original "Siamese twins"

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Conjoined twins Chang and Eng Bunker were world famous in the 19th Century, so much so that for a long period other conjoined siblings were commonly referred to as "Siamese twins". Born in Siam (now Thailand), the brothers were taken to America under false pretences and "exhibited." But when the twins turned 21, they took control of their own destiny.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:31 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-14/chang-and-eng-bunker-the-original-siamese-twins/7992942https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/earshot/hyphenated-lives-part-1/7912758https://www.npr.org/2018/04/02/598796873/inseparable-recounts-the-unusual-lives-of-conjoined-twins-chang-and-eng-bunkerhttps://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/news/2022/12/the-dark-history-of-the-original-siamese-twins-chang-and-eng-bunker-730957https://allthatsinteresting.com/chang-eng-bunkerhttps://www.britannica.com/biography/Chang-and-Enghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chang_and_Eng_Bunker#https://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/conjoined-twinshttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560839/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lori_and_George_Schappell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And welcome to another episode of Doogone. My name is Dave Warnocky and, as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. So good to be here. Thank you so much for having us on your show, Dave. Little joke there. This is mine and Jess's show and yes, we'll allow you to be here one more week. I appreciate that.

Yeah, Matt and I have permanent contracts. You are on a week-to-week kind of vibe. That sounds pretty good. Hopefully I get some benefits at least, super or something. No, and no sick leave. No sick leave, no. Yes, which I've got a slight cold. You might hear some dulc tones going on here.

But I need to feed my family. He's like, he's begging for the attention of being sick. Even before lunch, he was like, oh, yeah, I'm feeling a bit better today. And I said, oh, yeah, I forgot you were unwell because he sounds completely normal. And he's like, oh, I don't know. I think I sound pretty stuffy. Okay. Well, Dave, to be honest, if you're sick, don't come in.

Yeah. You said he wouldn't pay me. That's the right. You're all the problem. We don't want to get your sickness, mate. So I really hope that you aren't giving us it right now. Open your mouth. No.

All I want to receive from you today is a fantastic report. Yeah. Hey. Your best effort. Yeah. I want to learn something. Well, and I want to laugh with my friends.

Let's say it's my best effort because obviously I've been a little bit sick this way. All I want to receive from you is your best foot forward. Okay. Okay. Well, here it is. And maybe between, I don't know, in my lap. I don't know. Where would you receive a best foot forward now that I say it?

Straight up the chuffer. Oh. I don't want that. Matt does. With like a, yeah, you know, like a beautiful

Tony Lockett-esque leg extension. Exactly. Kicking right through the ball. No, that's pretty good actually. I meant more of like a, I'm imagining one foot goes forward

ready for like a cha-cha-cha. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm picturing. Yeah. A step ball change. Thank you. That's what I'm picturing. Okay.

So you choose if you want to kick Matt in the balls or chat-ta-tok. I'd rather keep Matt in the chuff. Why don't you chach-cha-cha-cha-ch. Anyway, Would you like me to explain how this show works? Well, hello new listeners and goodbye.

Thanks to give you a guess of a shot. Thank you so much and well done for lasting this long. To be honest, I won't be here next week, so don't worry about it. We're Matt Jess and Dave, so nice to meet you. We're insufferable and each week one of us research is a topic. They bring that information back to the other two who listen politely, who interrupt with dog shit ribs, who just in general tune them out or sometimes listen. and we always get onto the topic with a question.

It's Dave's turn. Dave, do you have a question? Yes, my question to both of you is, what is another term, albeit outdated, for conjoined twins? Oh, um... I think I'm to mind when I say that. Oh, Symeans twins?

Sima's twins is correct, Matt. Matt got it, Matt got it. I knew I would know it as soon as Jess said most of it. That's when I'm like, yep, yep, that's right. That is so outdated. I'd forgotten it. I was like, what do you mean? Aren't they just conjoined twins?

You don't really hear it that much anymore, but it is... Siamy's cats you still hear of, maybe. Where is Siam? It's what Thailand is today. Ah, very good. The kingdom of Siamese twins. Today we are talking about Cheng and Eng, for whom the term Siamese twins was originally coined.

I see. And they are from... They are from, I don't know. Okay. That didn't come up in research. Lost to history. It didn't come on, didn't come on. Thank you to the two people.

that have suggested this topic, Mitch Grenfell from Rye here in Victoria, and Sandy Ty, also from Ballarat here in Victoria. Two beautiful parts of Victoria. Sandy Ty, Tyamese, I'm more like it. Tyamese twins. Tyamese. Is that more? Sandy Tyamese twins.

Yeah. That's really good. Thank you. Both Mitch and Sandy are Patreon supporters at the show, so we appreciate that. But you don't have to be a patron to suggest a topic. Anyone can do that. And any time, via the link in the show notes or our website, do go onpod.com. So yeah, you haven't heard the term simeys.

twins a long time. Have you ever heard of Chang and Ang? Maybe, but probably not. Love you covering all bases there. Yeah, possibly. I'm not heard of it. You might say something that I go, oh yeah, but no, I don't know much of this story. There you go. Well, let me tell you about them right now. Okay. Okay.

According to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, who have separated 32 sets of conjoined twins, which is a record. Wow. And they've managed the care of many others. They write, Conjoin twins are twins that are born with their bodies physically connected. Conjoin twins are extremely rare and occur once in every 50 to 60,000 births. Wow. So very, very rare. So it is very rare, but also not that rare somehow.

Yeah, 50 or 60,000. I was expecting it to be even more. Yeah. Yeah. What would be the equivalent? Like, is that similar to left handers? No. That's 10% of the population.

Is that similar to redheads? Yeah. One in 10,000. Yeah. I wonder, like, how likely are twins in general, and identical twins? Great questions. These are all great questions. Without notice.

Questions without notice. And usually I like to answer in MCGs, and I can't do that. Okay, yeah. Olympics, swimming pools. You could have, if you have, like, not a full game, but a pretty popular game at the MCG, if everyone there gave birth, one of them. Marvel Stadium. One ticket holder at Marvel Stadium at a Saldak crowd,

Saturday night would give birth to can join twins. Yes. That's the rule. Or no, that'd be the MCG if both parents, because it's 100,000. There you go. There you go. Both parents are there. One couple at the MCG at a sold-out Anzac Day match.

And let's just say every staff member is also pregnant. Yes. Just to make a few more people. So it'd be one and a bit. Yeah, one and a bit. Yes. Oh, while Jess is looking that up, I can let the listeners know about the 200th who knew with Matt Stewart coming up live in Melbourne at the basement comedy club.

I've just locked in a few guests. Mish, Big Wet, Whittrip, Jess, Little Dry Perkins and Dave, somewhere in the middle, Warnocky. Carry over champion. Carry over champion, Warnocky. There'll be another guest as well yet to be locked in, but that's coming up on the 27th of June, Saturday afternoon, 4 p.m. at the basement comedy club in Melbourne. I would love to see you there. Tickets are on sale.

Dave, if you can help me, I'll put that link on the DoGoan website as well. Dogoan.com, and would you say free tickets for Conjoin twins? Two for one. Two for one. Two for one for sure. Good.

I love that. Patreon is also, if you are a Patreon, this is one of the great opportunities. It's like a big, it's like a 20% discount, I think, for patrons. So if you sign up, you're basically getting your first month free. Wow. That's a hot tip. Patreon.com slash 2G1Pod.

Love that. And Jess, have you got any answers for how common twins are? It seems like twins are way more common than I thought. And it does actually put into perspective how rare can join twins are. So that was one in every 50 to 60,000. Yes. So identical twins, and this is just their Google AI overview, three to four in every thousand.

Oh, there you go. And then non-ident, or just twins is one in 250 pregnancies. Right. Okay, this is a lot. So it is actually super rare. I've got twin aunt and uncle. Yeah. And I've got a few sets of twin cousins.

Yeah. I think sometimes in families it's more likely with certain genes as well maybe. I think it's, and I only learnt this recently, identical twins are like a medical marvel type thing. Fraternal twins can run in the family. Right. Well, that's what, yeah, that's what we got. And was the medical marvel type thing?

Was that a direct quote from the, Literature you're reading. Ah, yes. Medical Marvel Stadium, one in 50,000. That's right. Perfect. So here's some more facts about Conjoin twins. Conjoin twins result from the incomplete division of a single fertilised egg between days 13 and 17 of embryogenesis.

Lucky for some. This anomaly results in the physical fusion of the twins at birth, often involving shared organs or body structure. So it's one egg, so it's identical twins. Yes. That don't properly or fully separate. And then they just continue growing together. Yeah. Approximately 75% of conjoined twins are at least partially joined in the chest

and share organs with another. And approximately 70% of conjoined twins are female, so it's much more likely to have two girls. Interesting. She's the privilege of women, just every day I learn more and more. There it goes. There's the, yeah. And there he goes.

Another gender gap. Well, there's no gap. Well, that's true. Yeah. That's a good point. There's overlap. Yeah, gender overlap. Another thing that makes them incredibly rare is that they are tragically most, the majority are still born.

Oh. Of the one in 50,000. Yeah. Oh, right. So that's just how many pregnancies there are. So they're very, very, very, very rare. Guinness World Records writes, because they've got all sorts of records like their oldest twins and the longest operation to have them. They write, the oldest known depiction of a pair of conjoined twins is a white marble statue of two women joined at the hip, dating from somewhere between 4,000 and 2,200 BC.

Wow. So, many thousands of years ago, it was discovered in a Neolithic shrine in southern Anatolia, the peninsula between the Mediterranean and Black Seas. The first known written account dates to the year 945 and recounts the short lives of conjoined brothers brought to Constantinople from Armenia for exhibition. Oh, that's like, yeah. I will say that that is a recurring theme of conjoint twins. So for better and mostly for worse, I will say, conjoined twins have fascinated both medical professionals and the general public alike. Like for entertainment or like medical exhibitions or, you know, like more like for entertainment.

Come and check out the Constantinople twins sort of thing. Yeah. It's interesting the, the status. I guess they're assuming that it was probably based on two women joined at the hip. But it's like there are old statues that are clearly mythical things as well. Or they've just chiseled them both from the same piece of marble and it's never got down to the last little bit where they were going to cut two people side by side and half. Because they're like, you know, like the ancient Egyptians had sort of birdheaded people and stuff.

Yeah. Are we going to, are we expecting them? You know, you can't just take a statue and think it's historical fact. I do. Or can you? There were bird people in Egypt? That's sick. Like a couple hundred years ago in New York,

they had a really, really tall woman. Yes. Yeah. And she was green. Yeah. Statue of David, his dick is tiny. Yeah, but that will have evolved to the size that people pack these days. Well, some have.

You know, evolutionary, yeah, it's just a thing. Yeah. That's why I believe in George Darwin and also his brother, Charles Darwin. George. Yeah, what's George's field? Well, people don't talk about George very often. I've never heard of him. Well, you know, it was...

He was an entrepreneur. It was very much, yes, exactly, very much a Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito type scenario. Right, yeah. So he was sort of the go-getter. he didn't have you know he didn't get all the brains but he got all the get up and go so which one's Danny DeVisa George okay yeah you think yeah come on come on Dave Arnie is Charles he's the brains hey Dave do go on please

we're hanging on to our last couple of listeners and they're probably just trying to go to sleep yeah so I was looking into sort of the history of conjoined twins before we get into it and looking into it there are many stories of them being mistreated. But before we get into the main story, this is a bit of fun, I found out. There have been many famous pairs of conjoint twins,

including Laurie and George Shappell. George. Another George. Another George. The brains. Classic twins. There's always one George in every set of twins. Well, George was a country music singer,

and Laurie worked in a hospital laundry arranging her work around George's music commitments. She said that, as a fan of George, she paid to attend concerts, just like all the other fans, simply making herself quiet and quote-unquote invisible, while George, who of course is attached to her, I think by the head, was performing. George also is another bonus fact, came out as transgender as a transgender man in 2007, and Guinness World Records declared Laurie and George to be the first set of conjoined twins

to have different gender identities. Oh, cool. There you go, Laurie and George, but I love that. One's a country music singer and the other is a fan. I love that. I'm a fan, so I get, I always buy a ticket. Yeah. That's really nice.

And I hope that when she's working at the laundry that he's, you know, also being invisible and not getting in her way. That's right. Yeah. And maybe like paying for parking or something. Yeah. Well, I hope he's paying for his, the washing at least. Yeah. I hope he's a fan as well.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's support each other. You got to. You got to. You got to turn up to your siblings work and just cheer them on sometimes. Probably if you do, if you're living like that, you're probably when they're working, you're sleeping. Right?

Because you can't just work back to back forever. Oh, because like Laurie's doing the day shift. The George's doing like a late night gig, maybe a couple of sets. Yeah. You're right. I'm just, I'm a tired person at the best of times. Yeah. When are you napping?

Yeah. Man. But you got to, so how, but so that would require that if you need a nap, your twin needs to sort of go lie down and see if they can just work remotely. you know, while you nap, because I don't think you can just power down and sleep standing up while they're doing a gig. No, you probably need a special bed. Something to think about.

Hamic. Hamic. That's good. That's good. So on to Chang and Ang. Whilst we don't know the exact date in 1811, conjoined twin brothers, Chang and Ang bunker were born in Siam, which is now, as I said, Thailand. They were born on the floor of a fishing boat in a small Thai village.

and their mother reportedly said their birth was no more difficult than that of their other several siblings. They were fifth and sixth in the growing family. Their father was Chinese and they grew up in a Chinese community. Their brothers were connected at the sternum by a four-inch band of flesh, and their livers were fused together, but they were both facing the same way. Yeah, okay. So it meant that they could learn to easily walk around. There were mixed reactions to their birth,

some saying that the children were a bad omen or an abomination that they should be killed instantly. Jesus. Others said, they need to be separated. You need to separate them. And many ways to separate them were proposed, but their mother protected the brother saying that if this is how they were born, this is how they should live. They were joined at the sternum, but apart from that, their bodies were completely separate, and they were able to live very active lives. Their mother just raised them like all her other children. According to Mike Ladd, writing for the ABC in 2016, as young boy,

boys Chang and Eng soon learned to run, play and swim together and would snimble as any other child. When the boys were ate a cholera epidemic spread across Siam and killed thousands, including their father, and get this, five of their siblings. Oh my God. The funerals for the family members sent the family almost into complete bankruptcy. And with their breadwinning father also gone, the boys volunteered to work for the family. They made money by farming and selling ducks, eggs, and looking after and raising other people's animals. Also, cholera, have you watched The Artful Dodger at all? No.

There's a cholera outbreak in season two, and people are dying. And it was like, it was terrible, right? But it's essentially, it's, and I'm oversimplifying, but it's basically like diarrhea. Just until you die. Yeah, and it's severe dehydration. So bad. And it's like, it's bad. It can be fatal.

It's obviously not that, but like with the invention of IV liquids, fluids, you're fine, and antibiotics. It's crazy. Were you watching the alpha doctor and you were worried? You're like, oh, my God, what have I get that? And they're like, oh, actually, you're fine. I better Google this. Oh, antibiotics exist now. Just hook me out.

Hook me out. It's okay. And in the show, it's this newfangled thing that they've read about overseas of. Colour is or IV is? Oh, right, there you go. No, unfortunately for these people in Siam, they didn't have that. So, like, half the family was wiped out. And then because funerals are very quite elaborate and expensive in their culture,

and they had to get funeral pies. Because, you know, you fell welling six different people. Yeah. All their money's gone. So they had to start, yeah, looking out for animals. And whilst growing up, the only way they'd ever known, word of the conjoined twins began to spread, giving them first local fame.

And eventually it reached all the way to the king of Siam, Ram of the 3rd. They were invited for a tour of the royal palace to meet the king himself, who showered them with gifts that they sent home to their family. They're like, sell this shit. Sell this diamond.

Thank you for this gift. Sell this. According to the brother's great grandson, Jim Haynes, the king also sent the brothers on trips across Indochina as a sort of diplomacy sort of thing to be like, look at our subjects. We have interesting people like this.

Yeah. Sort of trotting them out. Wow. In 1824, Chang and Ang also got the attention of Scottish businessman Robert Hunter who first spotted them swimming in the Mekong River. He at first mistook them for something out of like a Greek myth. See, there's two boys swimming together side by side. But then, realizing what they were, sensing an opportunity, Robert Hunter lobbied King Rama to take the boys out of the country for medical evaluation in America or Europe. Have they got two arms each or one arm each?

Oh, no. It's basically like if you and I have stood. side by side. Side by side. So sternum. When you said sternum, I thought you meant in the centre so they were facing. Yes. Oh, right.

No, it's kind of like... I was picturing like permanently being able to sort of, you know, being like a dance sort of formation almost. But like walk, when you said easily walking, that should have helped me. But I was thinking you were like... Yeah, so it's kind of like, on the side of their ribs, there's this this fleshy bit that connects. Yeah, wow.

What's a sternum? I thought the sternum was that bit middle of your sort of... Yeah, but it goes all over, doesn't it? Oh, right. Yeah, I was told it, you know, when I found out about what a sternum was, now? Mine sort of like pokes out a little bit, and I was, I was traveling around, and I started freaking out about it.

I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I was traveling with someone who's, like, had some medical knowledge. Like, that's your sternum. I'm like, but is it meant to be like this? You're like, yeah, it's very normal. Okay? It's a very hard, weird thing sort of stick in there. Yeah, yeah, that's a normal thing.

It's a bone. I just can't picture what, I've never looked up what it actually is. It is right in the middle. Like, I'm, oh, yeah, no, sort of, okay, this is a, yeah, it is there, they're connected like that. Oh. But then they're able to very easily stand side by side.

So it's kind of like, it's not directly on their side. It is, yeah, from their middles. Yeah. But then they stand on an angle. Yeah. Right. Hopefully, we've put an image of them as the cover art. Yeah.

On the podcast feed. So people can get a look of what they look like. So this Scottish guy, Robert Hunter, he sees them and he goes, I want to take them out of Siam. He goes to the king and says, can I take them out? The king denied the appeal saying there were citizens and also, more importantly, property of the crown as he owned everything in the country, which is so weird. Including people. He owns them all. Sure.

But Robert Hunter didn't give up and after five years of back and forth, Hunter was granted permission to take the boys to America with a sea captain called Abel Coffin. Abel Coffin. Bring back Abel, by the way. Abel's great. Abel's great. The Abel Tasman, what's that? Is that a boat or is that a man? That was a man.

That's a man. That could be a boat. Yeah. Tasman's he. Tasman's he. Tasmania. That's his. Yeah.

Tasmania. That's his. He owns that. He owns that. He was the first one there. Bring it back. They're great grandson, Jim Haynes speculates they were able to come to a deal because the sea captain Abel Coffin had guns and Siam was involved in multiple wars at that time.

And maybe the king was like, all right, you can take him if I can have the guns. Okay, sure. So that's probably what happened. So C-Captain Abel Coffin and the Scottish businessman Robert Hunter took 17-year-old's Chang and Ang on a hugely long voyage all the way to Boston. Remember, this was all in the name of medical care for the twins. Well, when they got there, Robert Hunter's true motive was quickly revealed when he hired a massive tent and produced posters advertising, quote,

The Monster and the Siamese double boys. Simis double boys. That was a good name for... Does have a bit of a band name. The monster is unkind. Yeah. You'd see that and go. I mean, the whole tone is unkind of like, oh, let's get some medical care for them.

No, they're a freak show. That's not nice. Yes. And this was during a time when curiosity and freak shows were massive and attracted large audiences everywhere they went. They make me feel uncomfortable the idea of freak shows. I don't know if that makes me a better person or... Then who? Well, then those who enjoy freak shows.

Okay. You know? You know what? I'm just wondering. And I'm not sure it's something you can assign yourself. So I'm going to say that makes you a better person. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. In my opinion, it makes you a freak. Wait, what? So. Okay. Sorry, yeah. Sorry, I mean, an opinion can't really be wrong.

No. Dave overruled you there and he was right to do so. No, no, no. That's just his opinion. He hasn't overruled. Dave's opinion isn't worth more than my opinion. I'm so confused at this system. But your opinion...

Did you think Dave's opinion is more important than mine? What, isn't it? No. No. No. The difference here is that Jess's opinion makes me think that she's also a freak. Oh. Do you know what I'm saying?

I'm really sorry, this is my first day on earth. Oh, you should go to an airport. Here's the thing. People say, you know, don't take advice from people who's like... Don't worry about the opinions of people you wouldn't ask advice of. You know what I mean? Would you ever go to Dave for advice? Who are you going to do advice for?

Yes. Correct. So my opinion means more to you. Right. Yeah, that makes sense. Dave's mean more to me. Yes. Yeah, right.

So you're not going to yourself for advice? Well, that's silly, isn't it? What, I go to the mirror and go, oh, excuse me, can I run something by? Like, use your fucking head, Dave. But I do that. I know, because you can't go to one through them. Yes. You don't respect us.

I go, uh, don't worry about it. Yeah, it's all good. So they're in these shows. They're the Simony's Dauber Boys. Their early shows saw them performing physical feats such as somersaults and swimming. They would pick out a large member of the audience and together carry them around whilst running.

What? I also read they played checkers, which does not sound super interesting to watch. No. Yeah. Well, until they, I guess, get to the other end, you get to be double king. Oh, two pieces of joined together.

Yeah. Double brothers playing double king versus double king. Maybe there's something in that. Yeah. I don't know. It sounds like, because as you were saying, often conjoined twins will share organs. It sounds like they don't.

Apart from their liver, which is shared. They share the liver. Sorry, you did say that. I wasn't listening. I was, but I forgot already. Yeah, yes. But apart from that, because of that, they're able to be very, very active, very nimble. They then went on the road and at first had a Siamese translator, but soon learned

English and were able to converse with the crowds. Their first manager, James W. Hale, which written down, looks like James whale. Didn't say that out loud until now. Introduce them as the Siamese youths, a name they preferred to boys. Because I guess they're 17. Yeah. Like, I'm not a boy, not yet a man.

I do call you guys boys. Can you call us youths? If I refer to, no. Please. Not an amount of grey hair. Please. Come on, mate. I need it.

If I'm talking about you to someone else, I'll say the boys. The boys. Should I change that? I'll say the men? The men. Sounds odd. I'll check with the men and see what they think. That sounds like we're out hunting or something.

It's a classic. There's a classic time in everyone's life, I think, when a stranger with a kid will refer to you as an adult. It happened to me when I was like 16 pushing trolleys at a supermarket. And a mum said, watch out for the man. Yeah. I like the man. Yes.

Working retail, gives the money to the lady. I'm like, the lady. Oh, the hell? This woman over here. Woman! Woman is fine now, and I'm 35. And I think it's because I've also realized I've become what to children or to youths, they perceive me as a safe adult.

I've been, like, kids or teenagers will approach me to ask for directions places or, I'm like, oh, you've looked at me and gone, old adult, safe. Right, but your response is, I'm not a woman. I was like, get the fuck away from me, youths? I'm irresponsible. I don't know. and you crash a can't cross a hand on your head. A full one.

Yeah. Knopf you out. Yeah, but then you have to try and look really like, I'm cool with it. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt. I'm calling ambulance. You know, because when you're like young, when you're like 20s, kids aren't approaching you. I realize I'm the age where like kids, I'm just invisible. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I'll be out with my kid at the park, whatever. And if there's some youth, some teens on a slide, whatever, if they won't even, they don't even notice on, I'm alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't notice you're alive either.

Yeah. I'm like, hey, I'm here too. No, hello? They don't care. Hello, oh, Pokemon. No, um, shit. Uh, the new Xbox game's pretty good. Nah, shut up.

Yeah. That's what they say. Not me, obviously. They go, no. They say no one's talking. So now the Siam-M-E-Syme's youths. The usual admission price was $25, which is equivalent to $8 in 2025. Wow.

And pamphlets and drawings featuring the brothers were also usually for sale. So there's a bit of merch going on as well. Wow. The ABC writes, the twins were exhibited all over America and in England were over 300,000 people paid to see them. What? Just in England. How much money is that, Dave?

That is $2.4 million in US. That's wild. So much money. Making a fortune for their managers, but not much was paid to Chang and Eng, would you believe? Don't say. They were on a measly salary of like a dollar a week or something. What?

Like, great, which is only, I think it might be a dollar each per week, but which is only eight people seeing them, and they've just sold 300,000 tickets in, like a year or something. They should be, I mean, they shouldn't be in this situation to start with. Let's just be very clear that. This is horrific. But they should be rich from it. They should be rich. You know, but no, of course not.

When they were in London, they met a lady named Sophia, who was pretty keen on the brothers. I'm going to say, they have great grandchildren, so. Oh, well, that's fine. Is it stuck on you with Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear playing conjoint twins? No. There's a scene where one of them is on a successful date and the other one. They just put a sheet up between them while they're, anyway, a bit of fun. Continue.

So, Sophie is a bit keen on him. Yes, and she actually wanted to marry both men. However, this was refused as marrying two separate people would be polygamy. Yep. So, denied. So they had to move on. I guess she was like, both. Just marry one of them.

No. And then you can have, yeah, you can do a little, you guys have a chat amongst yourselves and go, we're all in this, yeah? Yeah, like on paper. A piece on the side. Yeah, like on paper it's you and me. But in reality, it's all three of us. So just nothing.

Just, oh well. I don't think she was that keen on them then. On the paper sheet, it's you and me. In the bed sheet, it's all three. It's all. It's we three. Yeah. That's really good.

But I think she was like, well, if I'm only marrying one of you, I may as well just marry a single person anyone. Like, I think the fun of it, it's the three of us. Okay. And it would be. It's not like, okay, well, if I only marry, Aang, Chang disappears. That's not how it works, is it? Oh, no.

So, I don't think she actually cared for them at all. No. Well, it didn't work out. Well, I think they dodged a bullet there. Because, like, if I, if I wasn't allowed to marry both of you, I think we're all mature enough that we could just have a conversation I marry one of you

and we all get freaky Yeah Okay, who are you marrying though? Let's not do this now Dave Because if you pick him I'll be pissed But if you pick me I think it'd be weird

Okay, you're in a tight spot So it seems like I can't win But if I marry Matt Oh Then what about Where do I go in? You're a side piece Oh, me okay

You can watch The wedding Best woman Oh that's nice That should be an award Best woman The best woman at the wedding is Jess Berkins

Oh yeah I'd like that I think they Isn't that whoever catches the bouquet Oh right The most athletic woman is Yeah the best woman I did catch a bouquet once Oh there you go

I was just tall than everyone else And you were married soon after No I was not How long between bouquet? My boyfriend at the time, not thrilled that I'd call it. Really? That's a good sign. Yeah, I think so.

No, he was fine. Whatever, shut up. Who are you time to shut up? Myself. Him? I didn't bring it up. Myself. So, they're on the road.

According to Wikipedia, which is like a conjoid twins database. Medical type thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a few things on there. I didn't understand most of it. Mombodromeda me, but this was sort of in everyday speak, so I copied this bit. When they on the road, they were also inspectors inspected by physicians, and I can look that up, that's doctors.

Okay, yep. Many of whom employed now very outdated techniques like physiognomy, which is all face reading, and phrenology, you know, where they're sort of measuring skull. Skull bumps. And as many conjoined twins have been over the years, they were also exposed to some strange tests. For example, doctors would feed asparagus to one of the twins, which for some reason was often Chang, and then monitor the urine of both to see if both preempts.

produced the distinct sulphurous odour known to result from eating asparagus. Sparagus piss. The other did not produce the odour, and this indicated that the twins did not share a common urinary system. This helped confirm that they had independent body functions despite being joined at the stern. So they used asparagus piss as a medical test. Well, that's what, I mean, before... I mean, yeah, they don't have x-rays. I was going to say, before MRIs and such, it's like, well, this is the best we got.

You eat this and see if it smells bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I now eat this, see if that smells bad. Okay. Now have this, do you like that? Have a lot of beet treat. My wife made that. What do you want to attend?

Any good? My wife made that as in my wife pissed into a bottle. Is that what you mean? No. Asparagus? And my wife made the sandwich. I might have zoned out a little bit in between. Why?

What are you up to over there? Well, I just think I started thinking about asparagus of like not liking the taste of it originally, let alone when it's mainly piss. Yeah. That sounds awful. When did people find that out? It's not piss, is it? It's jizz.

Don't worry about it. What? What are you talking about? If you eat a spate... Didn't you say before if you eat asparagus, it makes... You piss smell. Yeah. It's pissed we're talking about.

Not jizz. Pineapple and jizz. Asparagus is and piss. Yeah. Easy to get... Absolutely. I see what you've gone wrong. And Dave's actually got a rhyming thing to help you remember the difference between the two, don't you, Dave?

That's right. It does. Okay. Okay. I can't remember, does he somehow make piss and jizz rhyme? Piz and jizz. Maybe that was it. Oh, okay.

That might have been how he did I forget. Yeah. Why, what are you talking about? He'll know. God, we're still out when we were talking over him instead of letting him say the rhyme. Just, yeah. If you have asparagus to a piss. If you have pineapple, you best not miss.

because it's probably jits. That's how you remember. That's how you remember. And that's where I think you got confused because you forgot how there was an extra verse than I was expecting. That's fine, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So really there's an AB, B sort of,

or an AAB, is that rhyming structure? There's actually several more verses, but we just don't have to. Yeah. It's one of those things that like... It's like Leonard Cohen's, hallelujah, you know. There's read there's way more verses. We all know.

Every version he uses different verses. Yeah, we just know. He's definitely going to thank the Lord or whatever. Yeah. But apart from that, jizz, piz. They're in. You can't miss. And Ms.

Yeah. So I said Ms. So says to my teacher, Ms. So says, I says. I says. This is what I says. But we clear on that? Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. I almost feel like I need to hear it again, but probably. No, just listen back to this logo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I feel more confused than before. No, but it's so clear.

Well, unlike the Piz. That's right. Which is very murky indeed. And smells like asparagus? Sparagus. So, according to Joseph Andrew Orsa, who wrote a book called The Lives of Chang'anang, one American doctor examined the fleshy band that connected them and discovered that they both felt pain. However, on either side of the centre, only one twin felt pain.

The doctor also noted that, quote, when one brother experienced a sour taste in his mouth, the other did as well, and that, quote, I love this, tickling one of them resulted in the other, demanding a stop to it. Oh.

That doesn't mean he's tickling somebody. He's like, stop doing, that's annoying. Stop. He hates that. You stop tickling my brother? When your,

if your conjoined twin is being tickled, that would be, that would be uncomfortable for you to them, jiggling. Stop moving. Yeah. But also, Would they share nerve?

Yeah. Because they talk about twins having this sort of connection. I don't know. Twins are weird. No offence to twins. Identical twins are weird. That's without a like a physical attachment. Well, I'm sure I've told this story before that my dad has sisters who are identical twins.

And one moved to London and was having a baby. And the one back in Australia woke up in the middle of the night with pain. and the next day was like, oh, Joan had the baby last night. And then weeks later, by the time a letter arrived, she was right. Whoa. Bit weird. And that's told by my dad, who's a real sort of skeptic on these things. But identical twins are odd.

Right. And with this one, there's even, I was reading it, because I've read about so many can join twins this week. And a lot of them, like I said, have very tragic stories. But there was one set of where they're connected by the head, and they sort of share, they're completely separate people. And they think independently, but they can. can share thoughts to each other.

Yes. Because their brains are connected. And there's... Types of conjoint twins that have control of one arm while the other controls the other, but they somehow are able to walk and drive and move and like and do it without really having to communicate. It's amazing. Yeah.

Wow. So back to Changanay, every new town or area they visited, they were examined by local doctors to prove that they were legit. Local reports gave them legitimacy. and in turn their arrival was excitedly reported on in newspapers with varying degrees of racial stereotypes and falsehoods attached. The twins had signed a five-year contract with Hunter, and also this is before they spoke English, so...

Yeah, that's not fair. Whatever it is. Who sold his share to Captain Abel Coffin, so the Sea Captain's now in charge of the whole show. Abel Coffin. Great name. Did he invent them, or... He's from the Coffin family.

Yes. That's how surnames normally were Yeah, so he didn't But someone in his family did Right, and Dave already said this No, I was just going along with you Oh I was yes-ending you

I know that's unusual No, I know, but it just felt so believable When I don't yes-and you You go, I wish we yes-and it a little bit So then I do yes-and And then you go, oh did I miss that? No, I was having some fun Sorry, are you guys sharing thoughts

to which I do not understand what's happening Like, did he invent coffins? Yeah, just one of her coffins were named up. Oh, my God. I thought you were saying, did he invent them, meaning Chang and Eng? No, no. Making the point of how is he in charge of them, they're nothing to do with. They're separate people.

I thought you were making a point. Like, what does he think he owns these boys? No, no, no, it was about coffins. Right. Okay, but the answer to the question that I made up is, yes, he does think he owns this boy. What about the question, the answer to the question Matt made up? No, he did not invent coffins.

And the family has nothing to do with it. different spelling? It's not, it's cotton. Yeah, okay. Can I just tell you, I found an ABC article from recent times that talks about twins and it separates a fact from the fiction. Can twins read each other's mind? That's a fiction.

Can they feel each other's pain? That's a fiction. We'll get to a fact then. If your parents are, if your parents are twins, you're more likely to have twins. Fact. There you go. Okay, that's good. Yeah, don't they say it like skips a generation?

Yeah. Although I know an identical twin who had identical twins, isn't that crazy. Whoa. Especially because identical twins aren't genetic. Whoa. Whoa. What was the phrasing of you? Medical Marvel type thing.

It says many experiments over the years have failed to prove that twins feel each other's pains. Yeah. What about what twins say? How about we listen to twins instead of scientists? If you're a twin ride in. But I said twins are weird before. I mean it like, like I'm fascinated. you know, I mean it as a compliment.

Like a freak show. Yeah. So what it sounds like. Yeah. Yeah. Jess, that's, you're not making it better, mate. What do you mean? You just, it's...

I'm just saying, Identical twins are weird little freaks and I want to look at him in a cage. Yeah. No, I don't know if you realize how that's coming across. Like a perspex box. Like... What about a tent? A tent. A tent.

I just think if you took a step back, you'd realize that it just makes it sound like you don't see them as people. you see them as oddities to be gorked out. Uh-huh. That's what it sounds like. Correct! So I think if you, I think if you,

maybe if you just sit in this for a bit, you'll realise what you're saying is quite dehumanising to twins. The freaks? Yes. And I know you wouldn't want that. The weird little freaks. So back to the twins. I see, yes.

Not freaks? These are can join twins. Okay. So their contract is owned fully by Abel Coffin. The twins began to see that they were being duped when they found out that on a steamship to New York, Coffin and his wife were travelling first class, whereas the brothers, who were, of course, the stars of the show,

were travelling underneath in steerage class, the lowest cost-lowest accommodation category. Piece of shit. He's making so much money he can't even buy them, like, second-class tickets. Yeah, it's the one where it's basically like, you're next to the boiler, like sort of jamming you in there. That's fucked. You would think, if anything, they probably need.

an extra level of comfort. Yeah. Well, they definitely need more room than a single person. Yuck. God, I hate this. Coffin, I hope he's in one, you know what I mean? He is by now. Thank fuck.

They complained about their exploitation and were able to negotiate better accommodation. But as they grew older and asked for more money, Abel Coffin's wife refused even a modest raise. What? Why the fuck his wife involved now? Because he went back to sea and he was like, all right, you're the manager now, and we'll get the money. because he's a sea captain.

Right, he's not making enough money exploiting these young men. He's like, well, babe, I've got to work two jobs. I'm going to go back to my day job. Hey, Jess, if you didn't, I mean, this will, I think this is very, this is Able Coffin. So it's fun to, we know he's a dickhead, he's a prick. But look, how funny he looks. What's wrong with his head? What's going on?

Is he hiding something underneath that jacket? Is it a small boy hitting him? What's with his neck? That's a fake head on the top of a... Agreed. The artist did not do him any favours, unless that's what he looked like. In which case, like, he's the freak.

Put him on a show. That's why he went back to see because he was worried they're going to put him in the tent. Okay, so now they're just being looked up to his wife. It really looks like a Halloween costume where it's like the classic headless sort of horseman thing, where his neck is where a head is. That's very odd looking. It's really strange.

Let's try and remember to post that. So now I understand why. He needed like the extra comfort in first class because he had to get all that up to. Oh, he needed a bit of... Got to get that all that up in. A bit of headspace. So, Abel Coffin's wife, she said, you can't have a raise. And when they protested, she called the twins ungrateful.

What? So they're not having a great time. However, when Chang'anang,eng turned 21, so only four years into their five-year contract, US law meant that they were able to dissolve the contract. And they continued touring. but now on their own terms. So they were like, I'm ripping up the contract. Right.

We don't work for you anymore. They left the tents behind and performed in a more formal parlor setting, hired their own staff and began to engage audiences where they talked and answered questions. And the biggest difference, of course, being that they were able to pocket their own earnings and they toured across the US and Europe and they made a fortune. Okay, good. So they got real rich. and it was when they got to America on their own tour

that they were dubbed everywhere they went Siamese twins, they even signed contract as the Siamese twins and this name began to be associated with conjoined twins in general for like over a century after this. Yeah, okay. Junta Huang, who wrote a book about the boys, told NPR in 2018, he said, they were actually remarkably talented entertainers.

They have this kind of good nature and you know, country boy shrewd and simple wit. And so one time there's a one-eyed man in the audience. And when the twins saw the man, they decided to refund him, you know, half of his admission fee because they said he can't see as much as the others. They're doing crowd work. Wow. They work in the crowd. Yeah.

That's good stuff. Hey, let's get this guy half a refund. You can only see half the show. Do that now. Not going. You've only got one eye there. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can we get that?

That's crook. The audience is going, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But back then, people were like, that's witty. Yeah, back when comedy was comedy. Exactly. When freak shows were freak shows. Okay, you pay to see a freak show, you get a freak show.

Okay, so I can tell you, the coffin, the name. Oh my God, do you listen to anything I say? Very little. Gabe's actually doing the report today. You've done six mini reports over there with that listening to a word I've said, but yes, coffin? So the surname Coffin was brought over to England during the 1066 Norman Conquest, so it's a name of Norman origin, and it goes back to the old French

and Latin words, coffin and coffinus meaning basket container or chest. So they both names come from the same place, you know, the surname and the casket. So not fun, but true. Necessary, would we say? No, I mean, some things, I just, some things I feel like once I have it, I need to get it out. otherwise, you know, I think it would end up causing cancer or something. I don't, does that make sense to you? If I leave that inside of me, I think that could be like take root and end up putting,

ironically putting me in a coffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, just had to get out. Would that be such a bad thing? Yeah, I don't know. I said that out loud. Rhetorical. No, I'm just wondering, Jesse, you might not realize how that came across.

Because you saying that me dying wouldn't be such a bad thing. No, no, no, no. It almost sounds like, you know, to me that sounds almost hurtful like you wish I was dead. No, can you put it in that way? No, you're absolutely right now I can hear it. Yeah. I'm so sorry. No, no, that's okay.

I knew you didn't mean it like that. God, no. Oh, that's so embarrassing. That's actually mortifying. I did not mean it like that all. No, I thought so. I meant only for Dave to hear that. Oh, I heard it.

Loud and clear. Oh, yeah. I thought my mic could just go straight to Dave. Oh, yeah, no, I get that in these camps as well. Can we adjust the settings? Yeah, now, all right, I've cut him off. You can say whatever you like, go for it. You know what, I just, I wish I was nicer to him.

I really do. And I've got to work on it. You can't do that. Why? It's just not in your soul. My nature. Yeah, you'll probably get cancer if you were nice to him. Yeah, you're right.

Better just keep the, what's the word I'm looking for? Keep the... Me, me, me, me, me, da, da. The case or sara, sir, sir, are you know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, yeah, status quo. You got there. Okay, turn him back on.

All right, back on. Now, Matt, can you hear this? Yep, yep. I'm going to continue doing the report now if that's okay. Oh, that'd be fantastic. Hey, I'm nothing if not tuned in. I'm nothing. All right, here we go.

So they're on the road, they're entertainers. It's their own act now. They own everything. They're getting very, very wealthy. And they're doing schick to one-eyed people. Oh, yeah. That's just an example of crowd work that they're doing. Yeah.

Because they've learned English and they're very, like, great at talk. A big part of the show, it's just Q&A. Did they ever release a special? Fortunately, I don't think so. Netflix were in conversation with them. Do you think they walked so, you know, acts like the Nelson twins could run? Absolutely. And the Kransky Sisters.

Oh, yeah. They took it to a whole new level. Yeah, they did. Add it a third. Kranski sisters. I forgot about the Kranski sisters. Is it you had the bit about Kranski sisters? No.

No, that's Sammy Pee. Sam, Sam Peterson. His parents like two comedians, Judith Luzzi and the Kransky sisters. That is good stuff. So according to great-grandson Jim Hane, when on the road in America, a man really ticked off Chang, who was apparently the hot ahead of the twins. We don't have the details of what happened where I'm imagining it's some sort of crowd work gone wrong. Jess is pointing to herself as the hot ahead of the SAS twins, which is all you need to know because you already called the SAS twins. Yeah.

Chang got so annoyed that he punched the man. Sure. Who made a complaint to the police. Shut up. That's assault. Oh, yeah. Not fair. I'm like, shut out.

I know, he did get assaulted. Are you the cop? Shut up. Shut up. Did he hit you? What do you want me to do about? Don't be a dober. That's fair.

That's fair. You shouldn't hit people. Dibababba. Dibbubbers. What's the saying? Dibbodas where nappies. Oh. Oh, I don't know.

I know dibib dob shit. Is that something? You are not here for this game two day, mate, mate. well Dibbadoff's wear a naps I've heard that one You know that dibedob and Wraffis

I've not I've not heard it said like that Dibbidop is a napi This is a lot of a bit All right Don't look it up No I'm looking at it up

No Listen to Dave He's getting through half a sentence At a time I've got it This is an interesting Antipan I'm listening

I'm listening So the guy complained Because he was assaulted Yeah They went to the cops So the twins Were promptly arrested But a judge

instantly threw the case out as Ang was also under arrest, but he had not broken the law, and the judge didn't want to be able to be sued for false imprisonment. Oh, God. Which is such a sweet get out of your free card, though. Literally. One twin could do whatever, and the other one goes, well, you can't lock me up, can't lock me up, wow. So yeah, they just... They can get them literally murdered now. They didn't get in trouble.

Perfect crime. Do they now... Okay, so is the next part of their life story, they go on a crime spring? Yeah, bank robbers, and one of them just goes, I'm not part of this. One of them, one of them's going, No, don't. Don't put the money in the bag. Oh, Chang, no, this is terrible. Oh, no, don't run out to the getaway car. There it is.

I'm very upset about this and I don't agree. I apologize to everyone. We shoved a gun in their face today. Well, I mean, he shoved a gun, not me. Yeah, I certainly didn't. And then... I'm reading a book. Oh, yeah, dibedob is where nappies is certainly out there in the Zite costs.

Apparently it's an Australian thing. And you too are an Australian. Absolutely. I grew up in Quebec. No question. What did you say? Deep do boos, where,

what Americans call me? Where the bills. For wee-wee-wee. And pooh-poo. All right, that's actually, that's made the whole, looking that up worth it. Fuck you.

Has it? Oh, yeah. Otherwise, I would have said, cut out every time he's Google something, but that's good stuff. What? Leave that in. Leave that in a day.

That's made it worth it? Oh, you think, we're professional comedians. Sometimes we say actually funny things. And even then people go like, I don't, oh, these guys have accidentally been quite funny. Can I say wee, wee, in context, that's funny stuff, mate. And poo-poo? And, yeah.

Little tag. Yeah, oh, exactly. Little poo tag. Little poo tag. Make sure you wipe properly. Better clean that up. Not a gentleman. Never, never does.

Stop. This is why I'm the fiery, sass twist. This is why I'm the violent one. I know. If you weren't violent, we would never leave the studio. El-a-p-p-p-oh. Come on. It's sort of fun.

Have a go. It is pretty fun. Come on. Yes, she's coming around to it. Yeah, a little bit of a poo-poo. A little bit of poo in your da-poo. That's what I say to my dog. He goes outside, so you go weiss and poo-poo.

Because he is a Frenchie. He's a Frenchie. Sometimes I have to speak to my God. Sometimes I say, excuse me what to him. Oh. When he's been a bit sassy. Merci Bucu. I don't know where he gets it, I say.

So they're toured for seven years. Wow. Before retirement. firing from the road and using the fortune that amassed to buy a 150-acre property. They build a house in Trapp Hill, North Carolina. Okay. Oh, fun facts about North Carolina. Can I have a couple?

Yes. It's where the Venus Flytrap is native to. Beautiful. Love that. First, believed to be the first place with a mini-golf course. Really, any funny names to do with that? This will do, I think it was called. Is that right?

Yeah, that'll do. I'll take that. And yeah, Michael Jordan actually played college ball there, and their uniform was blue, and he kept wearing those shorts, even into the NBA. And he wore them underneath his Chicago Bulls red shorts, and so that had to be bigger, which apparently even changed the fashion and made bigger, baggier basketball shorts more popular. Really? And it was all because he wanted to keep wearing his lucky North Carolina blue shorts underneath. And one final one, there is one county, one area that has blue fire engine set of red, which I think is quite fun as well, which makes sense to me because their water's blue,

sort of, you know, in the cartoons. And they're real, I know they're called fire trucks, but I think people get confused, they don't shoot fire out. True. They're fire trucks because they go to fires and put them out with the blue stuff water. They should rename fire trucks. And fire fighters. Oh no,

that one makes sense. Hose trucks. Yeah, firefighters make sense. It used to be called fire friends. Well, I was going to say like firemen and that's wrong. But now typically we'd say firefighters and that's,

that feels accurate. Yeah, happy with that. Do you want to go on? Thanks for those fun facts about North Carolina. At this time, the twins became naturalized US citizens and for the first time had to pick a surname. Oh. There are a few stories as to where their name came from.

It may be. In honour of a woman who they met in New York and admired, her last name was bunker. Or another story is that went in line to file for their citizenship, a man in front of them turned around and said, if you need a name, you can use mine. It's bunker. And another story was, I'll playing golf. At this'll do. At this will do.

Kept learning in the sand traps. Which is hard to do on a mini golf course. It is. But not impossible. No. They were wildly hooking off the tea to the nearby beach. And, yeah, they thought, you know what? We're in bunkers so much.

We may as well be named after them. I kept selecting PowerDry. Yeah. Either way, they were now, the bunker boys. Okay. They became friends with... The bunker men. The bunker youth.

No, no, they're men now. They're bunker men. They became friends with the local elites of their area. And by able to become citizens, despite a federal law from 1790, restricting naturalization to quote, free white persons, because they were well connected locally and citizenship was a matter generally governed by local attitudes.

So basically they're wealthy and they're made friends with other wealthy people so they're allowed to do whatever they wanted. But usually... That's the first I've ever heard of something like that happening. Usually an Asian person back then was not allowed to become you a citizen. Wow. And as may be surprising for men brought to America under false pretenses... Sorry.

And as may be surprising for men brought to America under false pretenses and basically enslaved, The brothers owned enslaved people on their farmer, North Carolina, which became quite prosperous. And this is very grim stuff, but half of their slaves were children that they hoped to later sell for a profit. Oh. So, yeah. Not everything's great about these guys. Not everything's great.

Yeah, about this time in the world. No. But yeah. Not everything's great. Just, can we go through just list of the things that are great about this guys? Sky. Sky. Well, basically, like, beach is still good.

Against the odds. changed? They've, like, broken out on their own, made their own fortune. Oh, I'm just talking more generally of, like, in the world at the time. Oh, okay. But you're talking about them. But those guys, yeah, they're kings of the riff. Yes.

Remember that line about the one-eyed guy? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing will stop them, my God. Sometimes they had to be dragged off stage, they were just riffing so much. Yeah. Double-like to the century. But yeah, yeah, so saw humans as commodities. As others had seen them.

Yeah. A lot of articles point out there like, it's just a bit crazy, a bit ironic that they started out that way and then didn't have the force out to be like, huh, let's be like what happened to us? I think that's not a unique scenario where people end up being the,

they turn the abuse that they received outward. Is that right? Yeah. Let me go Google it. It gets deep into psychology journals. Matt essentially gets a, a psychology degree sitting there. He's like, well, you know, actually.

I feel like, Matt, they left weeks ago. The twins also did their own manual labour. Their method of chopping wood was particularly effective. They would wield an axe with all four hands for more force or would rapidly alternate turns swinging. Pretty amazing to imagine them both sides of the two guys grabbing an axe and in unison going, chop. Yeah, wow.

The same axe? Same axe. So they're all holding it, but they're alternating who's chopping? No, two, that's two ways. Either they'd keep going to one got tired or they'd all do it together. Listen, okay, Jessus asked me to listen and I'll try. He said that quite clearly. I misunderstood.

So let's listen. You know, the English language is so fascinating. It's a beautiful and tricky mistress. So much of the beauty lies in the grey. You said that about Dave? Yes, Dave, Mr. Sheffield and the English language. Black and white, sure, it's fantastic. Gorgeous.

But the grey. Get lost in the grey. So, for the most part, being accepted by the elites of society. Which is interesting. But not everywhere. That did not stop racism creeping in as well. In 1840, a profile of the twins is from Wikipedia again. In the Tennessee mirror made clear about the twins' intent.

mention to marry. Because they're interviewed, people talk about their love, laugh. Yeah, we'd love to marry someday. Many newspapers regularly joked about this discouraging their marriage, not just with objections over the twins being disabled, in brackets, read conjoined, but also because of their race. So they were facing racism at this time in America. By this time, Chang and Eng were in their late 20s when they went to the wedding of their manager where they met sisters Adelaide and Sarah Yates. And they hit it off. got engaged, Chang with Adelaide and Eng with Sarah. Was this a match made in heaven? Well, Jim Haynes, the great-grandson of Chang told the ABC,

Sarah and Eng tolerated each other but weren't in love. But Adelaide and Chang's romance couldn't go forward unless Sarah and Eng's evolved into the same level. And they did. I think they probably could. Yeah, why couldn't they? You don't need to marry both sisters. They're not conjoined, by the way. Yeah.

They're completely separate. Yeah. So they could have, Chang just could have married one. But anyway, he continues, they decided to have a double wedding. At first, the woman's father, David Yates, refused permission. And he continues, it wasn't because, this is, he's talking about his great, great grandfather here. It wasn't because Chang and Ang were conjoined. It was because they were Asians.

Wow. I mean, fuck. It was at this time in their life that they did consider trying to be separated to live, quote, more normal lives. And even consulted. specialists in Philadelphia, but the Yates sisters themselves stepped in and begged them not to go through with the operation, as there was a big chance one or both of them could die. It seems like the one who wasn't really in love is like, might be the time now. You're going to get married, and that's great.

Yeah. And I'll certainly get married too, if I have to. But why don't we go our separate ways and maybe I could meet someone I like? Yeah. That'll be good for me. You'll be pleased to hear Liver's also They're the ones that sort of do regenerate

Oh it goes back a bit So they're like The one they're sharing Is probably the ideal one If they were to separate Yeah out of all the organs And I'm not a doctor I could Google it

But I'm trying my best Not to Google everything That I wonder about at the moment I'm really darting around I'm really darting around Come on brain Wucking You'd be pleased to hear

that despite the sister's father's initial protestations he did concede, and each brother married a sister. Oh, that's what you want. You want your father-in-law to be start off conceding. Yeah. I guess you can marry him. Fine. I mean, they're wealthy.

Yeah, they're very wealthy. They're very wealthy. Who cares about the color of their skin? It's the color of their money that I'm worried about. That's right. Green. Cha-ching. It's probably something that that guy would have said almost, you know, I'm joking.

very, very much joking. I think that's something you might have said. Do you want to Google if that's what he said? It was a big deal of the marriage as it was one of the first legally recognized marriages between people of European and Asian descent in America. Wow. And tragically, you can join twins have a history of being denied marriage certificates in the US. This was the case for musicians and movie stars, dating. and Violet Hilton, two sisters who were fused at the pelvis, and they lived, you know, about

a hundred years later. In the 1930s, Violet began a relationship with the musician Maurice Lambert, and they applied in 21 states for a marriage license, but it was always refused, because she was conjoined with someone else, even though that she's like technically her own citizen, completely different person, even legally recognized the social, but they would not let her... What was their logic? I don't know. I was reading that at this time, one person...

person was saying that before Germany and the Nazis kicked off, like America was the home of eugenics at that time. So they were stopping people from getting together, which is horrific stuff. Both sisters were eventually able to marry, which is good news for them. Interestingly, Violet was also engaged to a boxer named Harry Mason, who later went on to have a relationship with her sister, Daisy. Isn't that crazy? Yes. Yeah. Go from one to the other.

Yeah. Yuck. Come on. Come on. Don't dog your sister like that. It's bad enough to like... Unless she was cool with it. Maybe she was very mature about it.

If they weren't conjoined, that's crook enough. Yeah, two sisters. But they're also conjoined. They're right there. So now you're what, hooking up with her sister while she's attached. Yeah. Yuck. I think it just shows he's got a type.

But also, we've got to assume that the other sister must have been somewhat okay with it. Otherwise, Like she could have very easily made it a hard relationship to have. She was like, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-e-e. They're trying to kiss. I'm walking away. I'm walking away.

Is that them having sex? No, that's still her putting. That's her trying to put off the room. But Jess was like, that sounds hot. That's a small dick. Something like that. Yeah. Hey, hey, sis, here's a magnified glass.

going to try and find his little dick. Something like that. He sucks. Sister don't dog me. Like, she could really, so you got to assume that she probably was mature, more mature than... Than you.

Hard to believe. Is that possible? Google that. Back to the... That'll only sit, occupy him for a few minutes. Back to the... Reiki a little iPad. This'll...

Maddie's got some iPad time. He's watching Bluey. Unfortunately, in the episode's only over seven minutes, so we're going to have to get a few going on. Yeah, but there's a few. There's a lot of them. There's a lot, thank God for that. I know.

He'll be hyper later, but it's worth it to just try and get through some of it now. Yeah, nap time is off the cards. He's a nightmare, but we love him. Booy! Back to the recently married Chang and Eng. At first, they all slept in one large bed, but eventually they built two. two separate houses, one for each couple, because apparently there was a lot of bickering going on.

How the fuck, what do you mean one for each couple? Yes, one for each couple. They would spend three days at each house. So the women would never leave. Like, if you were one of the partners, you live in that house, and Matt's the other partner, you live in your house. And I'm the twins. Spend three days at Jess's house. Then we go three days at Matt's house.

And the twin who owned the current house could elect to do whatever he wanted while his brother complied and kept completely silent. So you sort of just shut off. Shut off for three days. And you might be wondering, did they have sex? Well, you better believe they did because they had, between them, 21 children. Oh, what? Holy moly. Which begs the question.

Yes. Is that too many? Yeah, yeah, it is. Do they know what's causing it? 21? 21 children. So 20. So 10 for Chang in Adelaide and 11 for Eng and Sarah.

There were 12 daughters and nine sons, and between them, no sets of twins. Wow. So there's no doubling up on birth. birth there. So there's 21 separate births. Far out. No. Huang, who wrote the book on the twins, describes the process of logging off

whilst your brother had time in his house as, quote, alternate mastery. And apparently it's a technique employed by other conjoined twins. They turn their brain off whilst their twin does whatever. Like, they're either trying to sleep or go into, like, a fugue state while your twins having sex

or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Crazy stuff. Well, they're people, you know, they have needs, desires, wants, and they're entitled to them. Yeah. I'm upset. There's so many children. It's so many children.

It's so many. That's the crazy thing is they're able to keep burning after all those kids. You know, by that 21st kid. Come on. How are you getting any time alone? And those kids are all technically half siblings as well. They're cousins and half siblings. Oh.

Yeah. So identical twins have the same DNA. Oh, DNA-wise. Okay, right, yep, yep, yep, I'm with you. How else could I have meant that? I wasn't sure if you were trying to say that Chang and Anne, because they're conjoining, they're one person. No, just DNA-wise, genetically.

Gotcha. They have different mothers who are sisters. Also sisters. So they double cousins? Yeah, they're cousins and half-siblings. Wow, amazing. And 21 of them. So many.

Craig Glenday, probably he says Craig Glendey, the Guinness World Records editor-in-chief said, with Chang and Eng, it was never really documented how they conducted themselves in a sexually intimate way. But it is interesting to note that when the wives had their children, they delivered only maybe four or five days apart, which suggests some kind of coordination. In fact, their first kids were delivered six days apart and the next year, Sarah had a daughter and eight days later Adelaide gave birth to a son. So they were on like a very similar schedule. That's pretty funny. They're like, it's weird.

They didn't document how they were. Like, that's normal for people like. Like we all do? Yeah. So, yes. So here's how I do it. Here's my bone book, my sex diary. Yeah.

Day one. You know, it goes on from there. What are you doing day one? Day one, you know, awaken. You know, you're yourself to possibilities of getting amorous with your partner, ideally in wedlock. Uh-huh. Don't want any bastards. And then, which is what children are outside of a wedlock.

And day two. Still to this day. Day one, you know, after that, rest. Yeah, you've done a lot. Done a lot of thinking. Yeah. You got rest. You're opening your mind up.

Day two. Get back in that mindset. Oh, no, it's day three now. We rested on day two. Day two. Okay, sure, day three. Read over the notes of day one. Oh, you're back in the headspace, are you?

It's quite a long process, isn't it? It is a really long process. I wouldn't really say this is just Matt's process. Do you want to hear my process? Well, you know, this is why it takes nine months. Right. You've got to build up in nine months and then you have the baby at the end. Oh.

Oh. Yeah. My process is, I met this girl on Monday. Took a fruit. We were making love by Wednesday. Okay, that's day three. On Thursday and Friday and Saturday and we chill on Sunday. Okay, so four days.

Right. Yeah. So you're really trying up your odds by just going at it for quite a solid period. Yeah, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday. And then you have a rest. This isn't going to work for them, though, because it would be, you know. Maybe three days on. Day three, you're like, you're just about to get there, and then you have to turn off.

You got a fly-fo. Turn the brain off, which must have been really hard to do. No, I do it pretty frequently. And I think that's very clear to both of you. Well, do you reckon, you reckon, Jess, put yourself in this position. you vividly think about it. Your sibling, you've only got one, is boning his wife,

and you're lying there, feeling every hump and thump. And you're able to turn that off? Answer the question. Every bust, every thrust, you're feeling it. And you're just turned it off easily? Really?

You don't even strap in and fill the jeans? Yeah, I feel like I would find that pretty, I'd be feeling like I was in a waking nightman. You'd be doing a bit of commentary? Faking it. I know there'll be a desire to turn this into a clip. But I really must protest. Your brother can never see this footage.

He doesn't listen to the podcast. No. But he loves watching the clips. We're a visual guy. He's a visual guy. He likes bite size. Yeah. He likes to just see evidence that I'm alive.

and go about his day. Well, that's a different t-shirt. Must be in a different day. Oh, he's not painted short of wearing. When you paint it like that, man, it sounds awful. It does sound horrific, yes. I'm not sure that you're all thinking about this in real terms. No, and it's weird, isn't it, that we, that we, the royal we, have this fascination with how

conjoined twins would be amorous. Oh, every interview, every article about this twin. It all talks about it, and I'm like, at first I thought, well, that's a bit weird, but then I thought, of course you are going to have questions, and I'm fascinated. I want to know. Like, yeah. I'm even now thinking, like, what if one of them needs to shit? Like, you just, you're never alone.

Do you mean? But who is the other one's having sex? You are actually, sorry. I need a poo-poo. I would love to wait and I know you're not far off. You do that every time? Oh, I've got to shit. Sorry, you're never going to believe it.

I didn't finish the first time. So we could just take another second break. But yeah, I don't. Who's taking breaks? As a journalist, Jess, I don't think you're asking those questions these days. This is like an olden days. I'm not, but my editor is mad at me for not asking the question. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. The ABC have a radio show about the NPR and they're all talking about it. And this is from the last 10 years. Yeah, of course. Don't tell me you're not fascinated as well. No, I feel like, I mean, I don't know, it feels a bit invasive to me. I like to think of the two people. It's four people.

The bouquets, the bunkers, as being, you know, people, of course, they've got needs, they've got wants. We all do. None of my business. Let's just say, there's two people in this world, two times evil. There's the perves, there's Jess and I, and then there's the prude over there. Okay, don't throw me in with you. Do you want to be a prude? Nah, I'd rather be a perv all the way.

Yeah, let's do it. No, stop perv. Perve it up. Baby purve it up, perv it up. So having lots and lots and... Hey, prude. That's how. That's our one.

That's good. Yeah. Ours is more fun, I think. Yeah, more fun, but that goes longer. You've got more time to win people over. This is why you're trying to have sex and we're going, nah, nah, nah, nah, na, na, na, na, na, na. Not to you as your conjoined twins, John of Bone. No.

Please, Matt, I need it. I'm a prude. Prude, prude. Okay, so having lots and lots of children meant they return to touring for financial reasons, taking their families with them on the row. Stop having kids then. You need, like, two buses. to fit everybody to go take the kids on the road.

Yeah, that's a big expense. The show was billed as the living Siamese twins Chang'eng and their children. And Chang'in's one word with a hyphen. I mean, just the title of that implies that there was a touring deceased set of twins? Oh, yeah. Why would they have to specify living? Well, maybe it's more like the other can join twins are alive, but we're really living. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's probably that. They should have said like the athletic, Siamese twins or whatever. Right. The energetic. Yeah. Anyway, it might be in our 40s and 50s now, but come on. But come on.

We've got 21 kids to show that we know how to live. Yeah. Chang and Ang wore American suits and they spoke in English about their marriages and families. American suits like stars and stripes. Love's country. They also showed off their wit and political knowledge. In early October 1860, they said, signed with previous report topic, P.T. Barnum. Oh, that's a good sign. Yeah. His other clients

were what animals. Yeah, well, they signed for a month and exhibited in Barnum's American Museum in New York City, but Wiki writes, contrary to popular belief, Barnum did not create the bunker's careers. In fact, they were competitors in the entertainment business, and the twins had already become world famous from their own tours. The brothers and Barnum did not like each other, and the twins rejected Barnum's offer of a longer countrywide tour. They are like, we're doing on our own PT. We're okay. Yeah.

Thanks, but no, thanks. Yeah. We're big. People have got to remember that the real PT Barnum wasn't, you know, a Hugh Jackman type. They really gave him the Hollywood treatment. He didn't have that. You've got to pick one person to play you. Yeah.

I mean. I'd still be choosing Hugh Jackman. Exactly. Yeah. For me. Yeah. I think he's not the range. I mean, Wolverines chose him.

Yeah. And he's a bad boy. Yeah. So did the boy from Oz, Peter Allen. Yeah. The sheep detective guy. The movie that's out at the moment, which I have only seen the posters. But what could that possibly do?

I've seen the trailer multiple times and I go, absolutely not. And my mother-in-law went, I can't wait to see that. So is he, he solves crimes and sheep come in? No. No, he looks after the sheep. Yeah. And then he dies. But while he's looking after the sheep...

Oh, that feels like quite a big spoiler. No, it's in the trailer. Okay. And he... It's in the movie, so... He reads crime novels. It's right at the... Do you want to know?

Or should I just go fuck myself? Well, are both options? Hey, let's hear the novel first. So he... He reads crime novels to the sheep. When he dies, the sheep try to solve his murder. That sounds fun. So it's got a bit of babe...

It's talking sheep. Oh, right. Okay. Are you back in? We've seen... talk or we're hearing their thoughts? Are we seeing them talk? Okay.

I'm more confused than I was before. I think like Chris O'Dowd is one of the sheep. I feel like the cast looks so good. The script must have been good, right? For them to sign on because they're also... The name the sheep detective is just... Like your agent emails like to you and you go, what the fuck is this? Yeah, I'm still not going to watch it.

It sounds like a sketch idea, you know, that here's a stupid movie. All right, I'm keen, I'm in. Should we all watch it? No. Movie Club next month? No. We should do a movie club where we actually go to the cinema. That would be fun.

You know how many times we've said that? No. And we continue not to? What are you doing tonight? Brian Cranston's in it. There you go, I'm in. I love Cranny. It has quite a, you're right, the cast is very impressive.

Patrick Stewart, Julia Lou is gross. These are all playing sheep. Emma Thompson. Lots of them are playing sheep. And but just from the trailer alone, some sheep are American, some aren't. Well, sheep, yeah, you think sheep all come from the same place? Sheeper is diverse as humans. Okay.

With all their own needs and wants. If 50 people are born in the same country, it's completely reasonable. Did we see them all born in the same country? Did they show that in a trailer? This sounds like a long trailer. Or are you assuming that they didn't travel from around the world? Maybe Hugh Jackman selected them one by one. From America.

Dave said his report was fairly short. No, not if I'll have anything to do with it. If you're here. Dave, over to you. Now I'm looking up if there's such things as conjoined sheep. And there are pretty full on stuff there. Okay. So they went on this big tour.

Right. With the kids. Yep. Everyone's on the road. However, the brothers lost a lot of their fortune when the US Civil War broke out as according to all that's interesting, Chang and En Bunker wholeheartedly supported the Confederacy, that's the South, and invested financially in the Confederate cause.

they lost their money as most of it was repaid in worthless Confederate currency and also... And they also had invested in all these boys. Yeah, well, they lost the war and because of that, they lost their slaves. And when you look at that, when you can no longer own people and force them to work for free, it's harder to make a profit. What? Do you believe that?

So they lost most of their cash. Now in the 50s, they had to go out back on the road for a third time. But ownership of slaves, in addition to their support for the Confederacy, during the Civil War, negatively affected the way the audiences viewed them when they returned to touring after the war. So they weren't as popular anymore. Interesting. They liked them before when they're own slaves and now that they weren't allowed to, they were like,

I mean, that's just woke society going mad. Don't you reckon? I'm not even going to look at him. You hear what I'm saying, though. Because you're wearing the headphones. I know you can hear me. I'm like, Jesse. Jesse, you hear me?

They did tour to England for the first time in 30 years, accompanied by two of their then-adult daughters. The kids are like growing up now. Wow. Some of them, because, you know, if you have 10 or 11 each... They're aged. Yeah. What a spread.

They then went to Germany and Russia, and on the ship back home, Chang suffered a stroke. He survived, but was paralyzed on the right side of his body, which is the side he shared with Eng. Oh. The paralysis limited their mobility, and his brother Eng had to help him with daily. tasks and from there their touring career was over.

They couldn't perform anymore. According to Chang's grandson, oh great grandson again, Jim Haynes, Chang also started drinking to excess at this time, causing arguments between the brothers that were severe enough to consider surgical separation again. Because they were sharing a liver. Yes, but I think we know that for sure after they died.

Right. It just couldn't, at the time, because like we said, they don't have scans, they didn't know for sure. Right. But Haynes describes them going to see their friend Dr. Hollingsworth about a possible separation. Hollingsworth reportedly put them on the table and then said, quote, we may as well cut your heads off at the same time. Oh. Because it's going to amount to the same thing.

You're not going to survive. Whoa. Like it's not worth the risk. So they stayed together despite the arguments. Which one was becoming an alcoholic? The same one as the stroke victim? Yeah, Chang, who was paralyzed and had a stroke. He's sort of self-medicating or something.

Yeah, started drinking more and more and more. they lived for another four years after the stroke, but I'm afraid all good things must come to an end. And in 1874, Chang caught a bad chill and then died in the night. And then early in the morning of January 17, one of Eng's sons checked on the sleeping twins, and he said, Uncle Chang is dead.

And Eng apparently responded, Then I am going. Two hours later, I suppose you could read that different ways. Then I am going. But two hours later, Eng 2 passed. Wow. They were 62 years old, making them the oldest conjoined twins ever at that point, a record that

stood until 2012. Wow. That's amazing. The record was surpassed by Ronnie and Donnie Gallion, who died in 2020 at the age of 68. Wow. Ronnie and Donnie. Ronald and Donald. Love that.

I love the rhyming names. Let's go for it. And it's nice that they lived till 1874. That means they got one year of the same. they killed a football club. Maybe they were hanging on until that point. They heard rumblings? Yeah.

And they said, just hold on. We hear something big's going on in the suburbs of Melbourne. According to NPR, after Chang'aneng's death and autopsy was performed, and that was when they confirmed they did indeed share a liver. So it would have been pretty tricky to separate them, particularly at that time. You probably maybe could now. Yeah, maybe, yeah. With modern medical science, but at that time, that's pretty risky stuff.

And I wonder if they, in sort of doing an autopsy figure, oh yeah, we could have separated them or no, it would have been too risky. Like, I wonder if they figured that out. Interesting. The liver remains on exhibit at the Mata Museum, a medical history museum in Philadelphia. Why?

That doesn't feel right. No. Which also has a death cast made of them, which is that castor showed you before that sort of showed how they're connected. Oh yeah, both of their wives outlived their husband. Sarah died at age 69. Nice.

On April 29, 1892. Adelaide died at 93. What? So lived in 1917. Wow. Yeah. As of 2006, she actually died on the front line of World War I. Were they quite a bit younger than the twins?

Oh, 93. What's that, 24? What year were they born? Well, even the one who died at 69, it was quite a long time after them, wasn't it? So the one that lived to 97, she was 13 years younger than they were. Okay. Yeah, so they lived, you know, which obviously is over 100 years ago, it still feels like a lot more recent than everything else I talked about.

Yeah, so like my brain sort of like glitching a bit on the time lines. And then you say, and now we're up to the American Civil War. Like, yeah, right, of course. Yeah. I mean, when you mentioned the slaves or else was pre-Civil War, but, yeah, just, I don't know, I was picked, somehow I was thinking it was more recent. And then I go, oh, no, you'd say something like, oh, no, this is. This is old.

This is ages ago. Yeah, it was going. Yeah. As of 2006, descendants of Chang and Aang's 21 children, number about 1,500. Wow. Much of the extended family still lives in Western North Carolina, and the family has hosted annual get-together since the 1980s, usually on the last Saturday of June. Oh, nice.

If anyone's free. Chang's descendants are absolutely kicking goals. They include grandson Caleb V. Haynes, who was an Air Force Major General. and his son, Vance Haynes, who's a famous American archaeologist, these people all were there on wiki pages, great-granddaughter, Alex Sink, good last name, Sink.

Now, can I just check? Did he invent the Sink? Jess. Do you yes and from before? No, she did not. Jess did it? He can't do it. Forget it.

We'll get it at it at you. Did he invent the sink? Yeah. And we're all grateful for it. Oh, before you did it more confusing. And he said, no, but yeah, a member of his family did. I said, really? And I thought that was really great.

Worth repeating. So, yeah, that's the great-granddaughter, Alex Sink. Former Chief Financial Officer of Florida. She almost became the governor of Florida in 2010. She only lost by 1%. Whoa. So she was the Democratic nominee. Hey, Dave, I've never, I won't Google this.

You know, when they say gubernatorial, gubern, gubernatorial, what does that mean? I don't know what word you're trying to say. Okay, don't worry about it. Gubatorial. Is that? No, it doesn't sound right, but it, there's like governor or something. Gubberatorial. It's relating to,

gubernatorial is an adjective meaning relating to a state governor or the office of governor in the United States. A gubernatorial. I'm not just like hear that word, sometimes like, that sounds like someone's miss speaking. Yes, it sounds like somebody can't say V. Yeah. Well, I guess that's probably out started.

Any other descendants? Yeah, also they're great, great, great, great, great, great-granddaughter, Caroline Shaw, who is a music composer who in 2013 became the youngest ever recipient of the Pulitzer Surprise for Music. Cool. I'm sorry, gubernatorial apparently comes from the Latin gubernator. I'm the gubernator. So it's actually an old, I guess it's older. But it feels like that could be.

Like, American English is so good at freshening it. up and making things make more sense. So when they have this weird throwback word... Is that what you think you're doing? Is making things make more sense? No. Okay. I've got one paragraph left here.

Certainly not. Let's do it. What, do you want me to... Do we need to stretch? Because if you need to, I can... I can find something to talk about. I'm sure you will. Still a paragraph to go here, mate.

You can jump in at any time. Don't give him permission. No, that's no fun when I have permission. This family suffers all from Wikipedia, so I hope it's correct, but that's changed, change the sentence. I feel bad because Ang's the sentence aren't listed as much. Okay. His descendants include grandson George F. Ashby, president of the Union Pacific Railroad in the 1940s, which is pretty good. That was pretty cool.

But the others seem a bit longer. Maybe Ang's family's a bit more humble. You're right. You're right. Yeah. Maybe their family won the Democratic. Yeah, exactly. Or the governorship, if Matt's correct, in Florida.

The bunker descendants contain 11 sets of twins. None of them conjoined. But the first set of twins, which were Eng's great-grandsons, were also named Chang and Ang. Oh, wow. And that is the story of Chang and Eng bunker. So there were a few twins. That makes sense. So I guess if you, but does that, like, is it the same ratio?

They've got 1,500 descendants of 11, like, did. you know, of 1% are twins. Well, is that just normal? Fraternal twins run in the family. But like, just of society. What was the percentage again? That's still a high percentage. But it makes sense because twins run in their family.

Not make sense. It's still high, definitely. I just wondering if it was just the same as if you took 1,500 of any people. Of course, they're going to be at least some twins in there. I think it was three in three to four in 250. One in 250 is natural chance of twins. All right. So they'd be six would be in 1500.

So they're still higher. So they're double, 11 sets. Yeah, yeah. Cool. What a story. There it is. Yeah, I've been wanting to do that for a while. I've had it up for the vote a couple times.

It's come second and I had the free choice this month. So I went, you know what? I'm going to talk about those guys. Yeah, it's a really interesting, interesting story. Very interesting. And like, yeah, in some ways, they're like trailblazers, they're pioneers and they forged their own way. It is awful that they were slave owners and were on the fight for slavery.

And the way they were sort of, it feels, tricked to leave their home. Yes, and they never went back to Siam or Thailand. Right. Never went back. And actually, their mother thought they were dead for a long time. Wow. What do you think that you'd be writing, especially when they got wealthy, you'd be writing a letter to your mom or getting her to come out to America or whatever, to have for a visit.

I don't know how easy that would have been back then. But yeah, the news got back to her one day and she went, oh, I always thought that, you know, that they died, but they were not. They were like, no, actually very successful, mom. Far out. Yeah. Everyone. Call your mum. Give your mum a buzz.

What a story. Well done, Dave. Thank you for sharing that with us. Hey, you're so welcome. Well, that brings us to everyone's favourite section in this show, where we get to spend a little time celebrating our supporters, our patrons. Without them, the show would not exist if you want to be one of them. Go to Patreon.com slash 2GoOnPod.

Like I said, before, there's so many different things you can get involved in there. One of them is like advanced tickets and ticket discounts, like to the 200th show of Who Knewit, 27th of June, with some up and coming guests, Jess Perkins, Dave Warnocky and Mish Whitrop. Thank you for the opportunity. You're welcome. I've never performed in front of a love audience. But the same was true for the Canadian tour, and you could still sign up now and get discounted tickets to the Canadian tour.

There are, I believe, some left for each show. Yeah, that's in September. Some closer to selling out than other. We're so pumped up to be getting over there. And, yeah, other things, such as access to the Facebook group, which is genuinely one of the nicest corners of the internet. You get four bonus episodes a month on certain levels on the Dreamboat Cooper above. On that same level, you get an ad-free feed, and you get to see the video versions of these episodes. I'm waving the cameras right now for those watching.

I'm doing a shockers now. That's something if you, you know, subscribe, you'll be able to see this. A thumbs up. But you're also describing it. So do something now that's just for them. Okay. That's just for them. Whoa.

You want a pay to see that. That was lewd. And, yeah, what else, Dave? I mean, you're supporting this show, but all of our shows, Jess writes a rom-com, which, if you're not aware of it, Jess had guests on to try and figure out what makes the best rom-com. and then actually wrote the best rom-com. The best rom-com. And performed it with great comedic actors playing the roles.

And you can hear that on the just rights of rom-com feed or see it on the Dugan YouTube channel. Oh, I've been meaning to watch it because I love listening, but I haven't seen it yet. Give it a watch. And also, what else is involved there, Dave? I've said a lot of things. You get to vote for a lot of the topics that you mentioned that. So you get to steer whatever we actually. talk about. And also you just get the self-satisfaction of knowing that you're helping the three of us

keep talking into microphones every single week. Yeah. Without you, we wouldn't be here. And then if you're on the Sydney-Shaunberg level, one of the higher levels, you get to give us a factor quote or a question. And then I'll read them out on the show or a brag or a suggestion, really, whatever you like. I'm reading out three this week. You also get to give yourself a title. The first one comes from Ben Henry, whose title is a very sad little boy. Oh. And Ben's asking a question writing, so around Christmas my dog rolled around in some snow and scratched her cornea and needed a cone through the holidays.

Then I got sick with the flu. Then our dog of 10 years that I rescued as a puppy as a graduation present from uni got an aggressive autoimmune disorder and died. I hope your 2026 has started off better. My question is, what's your perfect Saturday? Wow, I thought that prelude, was going to line up with the question more, but I like it. It's a little change of topic.

First of all, we're very sorry to hear about the bad news there. There is a PS here. Do you want me to read this? Sure. P.S., thank you for the laughs and the many great episodes. Listening through this tough time has kept my head on straight and with a smile. I'm not a religious person, but there's a quote I like that I think applies to you guys. When you made my people smile, you made me smile.

Oh, that's nice. It's very sweet. I like it. You've sort of got a three for one in there. You've got a quote, you've got a question. Yeah. And you've got a, I guess, an update. Yeah.

Sad update. But an update all the same. Update nonetheless. So sorry that your 2026 has started off so rough. Hopefully it's on the improved. Yeah, hopefully by now things are looking a little better. It's funny how, not funny, but, you know, bad things always sort of seem to happen in clusters.

And it's like, it hurts. It's like, come on. Yeah. Kicking me while I'm down. Yeah. Hopefully you're on the up. And hopefully, you're over the change of season over there. It's going to be getting warmer, getting a bit nicer in the weather.

Can I, I'll go, join me to kick up? Perfect Saturday. I'm thinking maybe it's a beautiful Melbourne autumn day. And I, you know, have a little sleep in, wake up, do a crossword over some, like a brunch, late breakfast, cup of coffee, you know, some sort of nice breakfast. Then maybe go watch the Saints have a great win in the footy that afternoon. and then catch up with some maids. Dave and Jess invited, of course.

We're not available, but we are invited. We're having our perfect Saturday night. And all my friends and family, mum and dad are there, and we go out to a nice pub with, you know, some great beer selection. And a beer garden. And a beer garden. And fairy lights. Yes.

I'm sorry, this is mine. No, no, you're your mind melding with me. Jess's parents are there as well. Oh, yeah, they're invited. Yeah. I reckon that would be up there. Yeah, that sounds so nice. That also sounds quite achievable.

The hardest thing to achieve there would be the... Waking up. Getting out of bed. That's the thing, isn't it? As you get a bit older, your perfect weekends, like, you'd probably have rolled your eyes. I don't know if you're at 19, 20? Yeah, because I'm 100% the same. It's like, get up, it's a nice day, go for a walk with the dog, get a coffee.

Yes. Do some sort of, do something outside, maybe like take a picnic blanket to the park. and read in the park for a bit with some snacks. Lovely. Really nice. And then, yeah, probably go out for some nice dinner with friends. Perfect day. Yeah, it'd mean Dave invited or?

I think you were busy. No, I'm available. I'm sure. I'm free. Yeah, with friends, of course. Every Saturday between now and Christmas, I'm free. I'm afraid. Oh, I'm afraid this was Christmas.

Oh, it was Christmas weekend. Really? Yeah, Christmas weekend. I can change from place around. No, no, no. I can get a few days for you own Christmas. What's your perfect Saturday, Dave? Oh, my God, I'm so similar to you.

There would be, if possible, wrangler, sluts, more sleeping. And then every Saturday, this is something to do it every week anyway, was we go to our local bakery and buy chocolate croissons. Oh, yes. And then we go for what we call a croissant walk. And I want to do this with the sun is shining. Yes. Now, Dave, can you talk me through?

How did you come with the name croissant walk? Well, actually, a lot of focus groups were involved. Where do you get your ideas? We have what we call it, a family. cross-on, which is where we share a croissant with the dog. Okay. Chop it up in a thirds? No, it's ripped apart.

He gets the majority. By the dog. It goes mum first. Okay. And we say some for mummy. You're referring to yourself? That's up for good. Okay.

And do I regret sharing that with you now? Yes. It's an insight. It's an insight. I understand why you don't want Dave and I around. Yeah, because we're disgusting. Anyway, Dave's perfect day. No, I think it's beautiful.

I think it's really sweet. I think it's lovely. Day's perfect day. Goose on. Cross on, then maybe like a long walk in the sun. And maybe go to the park. Kid plays around. Has a great time.

Go back. I'm surprised not if you mentioned this. Nap time. Oh, yes. Get a good two solid hours of rest. Love that. Maybe go out again to get a pie. Yes.

Come back. Another two hours or something. Maybe do some chill, like watch a movie or something. Yeah. And then, yeah, go out with friends. for dinner probably. You're both invited. Should we?

And get efficient chips for my pub. Oh. I love that. Why don't, on the Canadian tour, one of our days off, we should try and get some amalgamation of what we've just said. Try and get like a perfect day in Canada. It sounds like we're just going to get up. Yes.

Go get some breakfast. Yes. Be outside for a bit. Yes. And then get dinner. Yes. Or the saint, we're going to go watch the Saints. Have we?

I need a high. All right. Only realistic things. Realistic things. Yeah, well, we'll watch an ice hockey game. Yeah, great. And the Saints, there's probably Saints over there. Yeah.

And then also. We'll just name the winning team the Saints. Yeah. Also, to our nap. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do we all have to nap together? I want to put in dog pile. It'll be quite nice.

Or like on a really long couch, head to tail. Yeah, it'd be nice to nap in the same room. Yeah. But maybe the three of us don't have to share a bed. Yeah. Okay. But just like, like, like a TV is on. Yeah.

And the volume's down lowish. So if somebody's awake and watching, you can hear it, but the other tour are doing. Like, you two are on a couch and I'm on the dog bed. All curled up. And we're watching whatever our version of, when we're the last European tour in Berlin, watching The Kingsman.

Yes. A fresh version of that. Maybe some sort of trilogy that we can get through a few of. Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. The transporter moves of Jason Stathen, one, two and three. Yeah, the expendables. Yes.

Perfect. Perfect. Yes. Or a renovation show, which we love. Oh, yes. I hope they have nine gem over there. No, nine last. Thank you, Ben, for that question.

We go from Ben Henry to Henry Wilholt. Oh. I assume the next one will be from Wilholt, someone. Henry Wilholt has the title of official plant buyer of the podcast. Very important role that it's been sitting vacant for years. We need some plants, please. Henry also has a question writing, Hey, gang, I'm in charge of buying plants for a retail plant shop here in the Pacific Northwest of America,

Oregon, in brackets, Oregon. Oregon. I was just trying to say it like that. Oh, but is in the brackets the pronunciation? No, just the word Oregon in brackets. Oregon. Oh, beautiful. Bigfoot country. Very close. I hope you'll come up to Canada. It would be great because I think that's quite close to Vancouver, maybe.

Oregon? Yes, what's on the right side? As such, I'm always literally shopping for beautiful, cool or unique plants for people's gardens. But I only am an expert in plants that grow here. So I'm wondering, what are your favorite plants down there in Melbourne? And, you know, as we always encourage, has answered his own question writing. My favorite Pacific Northwest is Callicanthus or spice bush. Spice bush.

Every bit of the plant is edible from its fruit to its roots. And the bark can be burned as an incense to create a beautiful scent. And the leaves and fruit are highly praised for their medicinal properties. Love you guys. Bye. I love that. Spice bush. I'm going to have to Google what my...

Oh, yeah, that's a nice of a good plant. I'm doing the same. Just another name. Which, we have some great plants in Australia, I've got to say. I mean, you know, I love a Jacaranda. Oh, we do know that. If we're including trees. And imported trees.

Are they not ours? Yeah, they're not ours. Wow. What about, I love of Banksia? Banksia is very nice. What are those ones that like blue, sort of rounder gum leaves? Blueish. Oh, yeah.

like a silvery. Gum. Yeah, but any, and I love those ones with sort of like the smaller gumnuts, which really frizz out at the side. You know, they get real flowery. Yeah. Yeah, I love these sort of ones where the leaves are sort of come around.

Is that eucalyptus? It is eucalyptus. It blew gum trees, apparently. Oh, okay, there you go. Look up. Yeah. I mean, for international listeners, look up a waratah. That's a nice, that's a nice bloody-looking flower.

Yeah, that's the red. Yeah. Yeah, I love those. And a bottle brush are very nice. Wattle, the beautiful yellow wattle. Oh, yeah. If we were doing trees, you know, the Australian boab. Oh, yeah.

Love those from out in the Kimberley, it says, but there's a cool looking true. You see them at like botanical gardens type places. They're not like a common tree you'd seen a garden like someone's front yard, but an absolutely beautiful. Spinning gum. I like that. That's a good question. The bookleaf mallee looks good. Bookleaf mallee?

Yeah. Not much grows in the mallee. Or the red flowering gum is pretty. But I just like, I do love gums. And it's similarly like the gum leaves smell so good that eucalyptus smell. Victoria's floral emblem is the, what is it? It's the pink heath? Is it?

I believe. Ooh, I don't know what a pink heath is. They got these sort of little... Oh, that's cute. They look like little, you know what? When I was a kid, I would have used those for little champagne glasses for fairies. Ah, yeah, fun. Oh, that's great.

Yeah, they're very fairy-ish. looking. That's cute as hell. What a lovely question. Now, it's just meant we've all just been Googling nice plants. Yeah, that's fun. It is so funny. It links in nicely to the last, talking about what our perfect days would be, like, 10 years ago.

Like, give us a fuck. What plant? Oh, yeah. Oh, what about have a coffee at a nursery? Oh, yeah. I have a little wander around and be like, well, that'd be nice. And then the other aging thing is beautiful native trees bring in beautiful native trees, bring in beautiful native birds.

Yeah. Oh, what's that? Yeah. Look it up. Little green lorocates and stuff. A little fairy rent. Beautiful stuff. Ah, yes.

Little fairy wrens. So cute. Thank you so much for that question, Henry. And yeah, it looks like that, yeah, that plant you're talking about that space bush, or spice bush looks cool. The final question, this or fat quarter question this week, comes from David Loring, the man who deadlifted Dave, aka. Absolutely.

But he's gone with a different title. International Man of Tourism, offering us a suggestion. Oh, mystery. Tourism. David writes, hello friends. I've recently returned from a whirlwind tour through the Balkans. Actually, I'm pretty sure David came to my festival show and that night was leaving for the Balkans. So this is all vice versa, maybe.

Anyway, writes, just want to throw out a suggestion to anyone who'll listen to add them to your travelists. Beautiful countries, amazing people, and I'm so glad I got to experience them beyond just the headlines I saw in the 90s during their various wars. Not to dismiss very recent tragedies there, but more to say, it's not the only thing that defines them to this day. I was in Budapest, the night that Victor Orban conceded defeat at the election, and the mood in the city was absolutely electric. Daly died trying not to laugh at Matt's Donald Duck impersonation while on a quiet bus travelling between Croatia and Serbia. Got to learn that Bosnia and Herzegovina is a beautiful mountainous country and got to tour an old nuclear bunker there to boot.

But far and away, the biggest suggestion I have is to visit Montenegro. I say this is a proud lifetime Tasmanian, but I've never seen a place so jaw-droppingly beautiful. And if I may finish with a brief shout out to my best mate Josh. you came with me, may you all have such a great pal, an exceptional traveling companion to share such experiences with. Oh my God. Josh, we love it. Love that whole thing. I mean, yeah, that is, this is, this is a real, that is real, uh, just like that, I think that distills the vibe of the Facebook group down to it. It's just sweet, nice things. Yeah. Really appreciate that,

David. Uh, and Henry and Ben as well for all of your messages in. Um, Yeah, like we said before, Ben, I hope things are tracking along a little better now, but so nice of you to send through that message and let us dream about our perfect Saturdays, which I think we're going to take on the road. Yeah. And I think the international amount of tourism will approve. Part of my perfect satellite is my friends or whoever I'm with, buy me gifts. Really?

That's part of my perfect set. Expensive gifts? No. Things that are hard to travel home with. Big gifts. Burdens. Yes. Projects. Okay, that brings us to the next part of the shout-out section

where we thank some of our newer patrons, just on our little game. We read out nine names. Just what do you think in the game could be today? Maybe what they do to keep their mind off their... Sibling having sex to them. Yeah. Literally got me.

Yeah, I think that's good. Do you think you've got some things in mind? I'll do the places Dave does the names. Let's do it. All right. First up from Seattle. Also up in there in the Pacific Northwest, if you don't mind. In Washington, the United States.

It's Michael Bardwell. And he's looking at an atlas and learning all the capital cities. Oh, perfect. Yeah, that is really good. And sort of yelling them to himself. From... Paris, Paris, Paris! I think this, we're seeing people who were signing up for the great reason to get discounted tickets to the Canadian shows

because a lot of the people were eating out today. We're eating out? Reading out today. It's important to double check. From up in that area and I can't wait to be meeting you all from Halifax in Nova Scotia. Halifax. In Canada. Thank you so much.

Jennifer T. Or just Jennifer, but email address suggests a tea. Jennifer from Halifax. What's Dave good to do? Tea. Come up with, yeah, come up with something that. Sorry, Dave. Jennifer is making the perfect cup of tea.

Oh, yeah. Timing the tea to the second for the steeping. Yeah. Counting the second in their mind like this, 1,000, 2,000. Yes. 3,000 are concentrate. Don't look, don't look left, don't look left. Don't think, don't listen.

7,000. Dave, for safety, do you want to do the places? Because I always do that. Yeah, sure. I overshoot the mark. Hey. And I hog it. I hog the whole shout out.

Such a hog. I'm a prick. You're a bloody hog. Next up, I'd like to think. You're a big fat hog. This is from Canada as well, from a fantastic name, named place from Guelph in Ontario. It's Patrick Godden.

Patrick's gone for a classic, noise cancelling headphones. Oh, that's actually really smart. Listen to anything or just cancelling the noise? You know, listening to heavy metal pretty loud. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Loud enough for them to have a beat to go to.

It's a double kick. So it's beneficial for everyone. So you're being moved in time at least. That's right. Yeah. It feels like you're in a mosh bit. It's actually quite nice. You're in a mosh bit at home in your own bed.

Yeah. And which is a water bed. Yeah. Why do we get a water bed? Next up I'd like to thank you from a location unknown to us. They're probably deep within the fortress of the malls right now. And that is Ellie. San I'm sorry with Kay based on the email address.

Ellie is in one of those sensory deprivation pods. Oh. And the siblings in one next to them. Like a glory hole through the wall that the person goes through kind of thing. I think you're overthinking it. Yep. Next up, Dave. Are we thinking that they are attached?

Not necessarily. We just said siblings, but yeah. Oh, right. But I mean, there's not. But even if they out, like, I don't have all the logistics. I'm just taking Ellie's words. I just love every, I just love imagining that Ellie's brother or sister is having sex several hundred hundred miles away from them, but text them every time.

So they go, yep, that's a lot of them. and I'm getting in the tank just in case. A little bit of Ellie time. Wish they stop texting me. Burnt City. I'd like to think now from... Don't me to text you every time I've ever been sick? Absolutely.

Will I be getting a lot of texts? No. I think not. I'd like to think from Kilkenny City in Ireland. But maybe this person's coming to the Canadian show. Who knows? It's Morsi. Morsi is watching VHS of the 1998 River Dance.

A spectacular. I wonder if Morses is the... It's probably a perfect Saturday. Do you remember, wasn't there a Morsi who gave us some artworks in Ireland at one of the live shows? That is ringing a bell. I wonder. I wonder if that's the same Morsi. Wow.

And is this... And they had some funny things about each of us. Yes. Classic catchphrases. Mine was a... I'm a big fat version or something like... Yeah, that sounds right. That sounds right.

That was a fun review. Matt was a real cool dude. Yeah. Mine was I'm a real cool duet. I'm a big fat version. Next up, from York in Pennsylvania. It's... Oh my God, yes.

It is... I was trying to find Morsi, and I'm just worried that I've made that up. Anyway, if not, either way, Morsi, you know, we appreciate you. Save the city again. From York in Pennsylvania, we are shouting out to Angola or Angola. A-N-G. Gone for a classic fingers in the years.

Not here, not here, not here. That works. Yeah. I've tried it. Yeah. In a different situation, but still works. Next up from Calgary, a place that we are touring to. Oh, my God.

What are the chances? Oh, my God. So excited to be there in Canada. It's Ashton. Oh, and in fact, even more accurately, Astin Medhurst. Aston is building a model plane. Oh, yeah. That requires a lot of focus.

Yeah, yeah, you're not thinking of anything else. You're blocking out the rest of the world. You've got all that little pieces that's going to glued to your fingers. You're like, oh, I've got, I have no time to hear moaning and groaning. Yeah. I don't have the time for it. I don't have a moaning of my own. Oh, I might get to get this cap, get this bloody glue off my fingers.

I don't have a glue cap stuck to my fingers. Oh, gosh. Next up from Ottawa, also in Canada. It's Martin LaPlante. Martin LaPlante. Martin LaPlante. It could be any of those. Martin Lepland.

And Martin is actually doing exactly that repotting some of their indoor plants. Yeah, maybe a sparse bush. Yes, sure. That's vaguely from up there, isn't it? Where's Ottawa? No, it's not. Don't worry about it. Where's Ottawa?

Up in the Pacific Northwest. Oh, no, that's closer to Montreal. I think we're seeing you at that show. If you're coming, Martin, we hope to see you there. And finally, I'd like to think from Parker. And if you're coming, Martin, I'm going la la la la la. From Parker in Colorado. Hello.

Thank you. To Anne is Bill. Anne is Bill? Anne is Bill? Anne is Bill all along? Then who is Bill? Oh, Anne. Then who is Ann?

Well, Anne is actually watching the Bill. Oh, yeah. The iPad out. Yeah, yeah. Which era, the era where that ex-neighbors guy was on it? Yes. What was his name again? Daniel.

Daniel McPherson. Yes. That was team effort. it. Fantastic. We did it. And obviously, Reg is probably there as well. Oh, Redd is nearly always there.

Yeah. Of course, Sergeant June Ackland was also there. Probably Tony Stamp, you reckon, probably in the year of Burnside, DCI Burnside. Yeah, someone who would be referred to as Mom was probably there. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you'd be right. Yeah, that was. Someone was referred to as the Garland.

All right, Gov. Yeah, probably that's Bob Cryer, actually. Oh, thank you so much to Ann Martin, Aston, and Joang, Morsi, Ellie, Patrick, Jennifer and Michael. And the next thing we do is, let's just have a little look, see if anyone's welcome into the Triptage Club. It looks like we have three inductees, but amazingly, we also have two inductees into the Triple TripTig Club.

Whoa. So the way this works is the Triptage Club is people who've been supporting us for three straight years on the song. the shoutout level or above, and the Triple Trip Titch Club is nine straight years on the shoutout level or above, which I'm so excited that people are being welcoming to that. Dave will explain a little bit better what this all means. For the original one, so we've got a clubhouse here. It's all theater of them on stuff, but it definitely exists on some sort of astral plane.

You come on in because you've been supporting the show. Every other member, it's a ritual we have. They come outside the club, sort of form like a cue. We all clap you on. We high five you, a form of guard of honor, if you will. You run on into the club. We do a little bit of a celebration, which we'll get to the minute. But once you're inside, where you've got a buffet.

You've got pinball machine access. You've got table tennis access, ice hockey, regular hockey, air hockey. It's all happening. Jess is in charge of catering. Yep. Usually there's a drink or a food item added what is happening this week. I've got a conjoined special. Oh, that's great.

So you can choose any two things, and I'll super gloom to. together. Okay. Really? It's like, so I go, a hot dog and I want a can of Coke. Yeah, I'll glue them together. There you go. Enjoy.

Dinner and a show. Matt, what can I get for you? Just double drinking. Is it a glue edible? Hard to say. What can I get you? I'm okay. No, you look hungry.

Okay. Well, how about this? I'll get a can of, a lemonade. Yes. And a glass cup of ice cream. Okay. So can you glue the can to the glass and not to the ice cream? Oh, damn.

No, sorry. I thought I out-thought you. I've glued it to the ice cream. Oh, but I underthought you. Well, no, okay. You know what? I can do that. I will glue the can to the glass, but the ice cream is all glued together as well.

Right. Okay. That sounds like a better. That's all right, dear. Okay, okay, okay. So the way this works is, we told them everything they need to know? No, I've booked a band. For the after-pot.

Yes, I've been in... This band actually broke up a long time ago, so they're reforming exclusively for us tonight. I think I just really covered your camera with my hand there, which I think that's something that they can look forward to if they're watching. Hey, I'm looking at you right now. We have booked in the English 80s pop band, the Thompson Twins.

Whoa. Can you believe it? What's some of their hits? Two live... I don't know why I thought you were going to say Spandau Ballet. Oh, really? Did one of them act in the bill? Maybe that's why I was thinking.

of that. Maybe. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Hold me now. Hold me now. Yeah, so that's a good one. Also,

what we've got? Lies in the name of love, Dr. Doctor, lay your hands on me. Lay your hands on me. Lay your hands on me. I don't know it, but it's probably like that.

It's so good because I was like, I don't know that, but that does. That's really good. Yeah, hold me now is their biggest one. Okay. There are brothers in Spandau Ballet. Maybe that's what I was thinking.

Oh, yes. Are they camps? The camps. The camps. Yeah, very well camped. Well camped fellas. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God.

Gary camps in Nick Mason's saucer full of secrets. Oh. Which I assume is a podcast of Nick Mason. Oh, they were once, him and Nick Mason came on the project when I was doing audience warm up a couple of years ago. Is that true? Band, they were all right there. Holy shit.

I even got to say, which I, oh, ladies and gentlemen, to the crowd, please welcome. Wow. These guys. I remember the name of the time. Nick Mason and. Gary Kemp. Gary Kemp.

Who doesn't look like he was ever on the bill. I don't know why. But, yeah, he was on the Larry Sanders show. That's cool. Anyway, um. So, time for the Thompson Twins. Hold me now Oh my mom

Stay with me Oh, watchers Oh and on and no and no Hold me now This is worth it for the video Oh my I'm on and on and on and on You know when you assume

Some of the words will come to you Yeah Or some of the notes Oh, I was never assuming that. A couple of times I was like, he's hitting the notes. But he went to the really high one. But that's tricky. But others he did quite well.

He's got a good ear for the most part. Just not a good mouth. Somewhere from the ear to the mouth, it all falls apart. All right, so we've got three inductees in the Trip Ditch Club. Come on in when you hear your name. Dave's going to be up on the stage, hopping up the crowd. There's a thousand plus people in there. It's a one-way ticket of paradise here.

Once you're in, you can never live, but why would you want to? And yeah, and then we've also got the triple triptych to come. So hang around for the Thompson Twins. Hopefully they'll get me up on stage to sing along with their big hit. And that other one that I reckon I probably got pretty right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We've got to listen to it after.

I bet you it's something like that. It was really believable. Now, from first up, please come. Come on in if you hear your name. From Lawrence in Kansas in the United States, welcome into the Triptage Club, Morgan Potter bell. Ring the Morgan Potter! Woo!

Ding, ding, ding, ding. From Croydon Park in New South Wales in Australia, welcome in Dolly Parton stunt double. I mean, get the ramp ready. It's Dolly pardon stunt double? Baby, we're a burning. Do you want a flip or something? Yeah, sick.

On motorbike? Yeah. It's hard one. There's a sentence to do. I agree. Oh, hold on. No pressure on this. Yeah, it really is that.

I want to do something about Pop the Bubble. You know something like that? Oh, okay. Is something about a bubble? Is there anything about? What about this? Get the ramp ready. Yeah.

Get on for that. Just Jesus Christ, move on. And finally from Mercer Island. Jesus, Christ, move on. In Washington in the United States, it's Bradley a Purtle. Teenage Mutant, Bradley Pirdle. Teenage Moodle. Bruton, Bradley Purtle,

D-Nate mutant, Bradley Purtle, Heroes in a half shell to Purtle power. Welcome in Bradley, Dalypun stunt double, and Morgan Potter Bell. Now I've said everyone's full name. I'm circling back to Bradley Purtle. Because that is, I love that surname. I can't explain why, but I fucking love it.

All right, we've got two triple triptage inductees in now. This is for people, like I said, who've been in the triple, in the triptage club three times, basically. basically, they've been in for nine years. The way this works is I allocate you an episode from our back catalogue to have in your, you know, your safekeeping. In your vault.

In your vault, yeah. Dave will salute you and give you a compliment. Not in that order. And Jess will give you a little kiss. And maybe something else or? No. No, just the kiss. What more do you want from me?

Yeah. Because these people all have access to the video. so they can see. Yeah. Just make sure the camera's on you, Jess. Ha! When you're kissing. Oh.

Not all the time. Why not? Stop hogging. All right, so two inductees this week. Dave, are you ready to salute our first inductee? Absolutely. From Jonesborough in Georgia, I think, in the United States. Welcome in Sean Harris.

Sean Harris. You deserve an easy. Got, my friend. Salute. And also you now... You deserve an egot. Yeah. Okay.

That's the big four. Yes. Yeah. Now, Sean, we are giving to you to look after, to have and to hold through sickness and health. The episode number 19, Bonnie and Clyde. Whoa. It's a classic app, and we trust you to keep it safe. Yes.

One of the harder ones to keep safer to murderous bank robbers. Yeah, that's right. You're going to have your hands full. And secondly and finally this week, from Swansea. Actually hung out with this man in Swansea when I toured there last year. And is it possible that we've had their Welsh cakes before? It is possible. He took us to a pub trivia night, actually, a small group.

And it was a great time. Perhaps Sarage was there. He's always there. Any do-go-on topics come up, because that's always fun. I really battled with it a bit. Yeah, I think I remember, you know, when you're overseas and the things that are meant to be the gimmies are a lot harder overseas. Yeah, they're like, which Welsh word? Yeah.

I don't know. Anyway, from Swansea, it's Kerry John Jones. Uh, Kerry John, you make every day the sweet as you can. Salute. And Kerry, John, you have to have and to hold. In this life and the next. Oh, wow. Episode 20, all caps.

And I think that was an accident at the time, but it's still like that. Disneyland! Whoa, no, that deserves it, I think. Yeah, big one. I remember that been a really fun episode to research, because it was mainly about the opening day. It was a disaster. Yes, that's right.

Like the tar hadn't set. Yeah, the tar didn't set. Why do I remember that? It's so funny that my go-to-thought was the tar melted. Yeah. It was so hot, the cars melted the tar. Is that out of everything? Are we sharing a brain again?

And the tickets were, when the tickets forged. Yeah, people just rocked up. Yes, yeah. And then they weren't able to weed. So instead of weed in, which seems like it would be quicker, they put down these exotic labels in front of the weeds to pretend like with Latin names. That's pretty funny. That's clever.

And hosting. the live television telecast was Ronald Reagan. Oh, yeah, rapping Ronnie Reagan. Remember that been a real fun episode. Anyway, I'll never dare to listen back and have that memory squashed. Yeah. Thank you so much. Welcome in.

I think we do still have Leonardo DiCaprio painting portraits in the Triple Tripitch Club. So go over whenever you're ready, Kerry John and Sean. and, yeah, get ready to be immortalized by one of the greats. He's going to paint you like a French woman. All right. Wow. Or something like that. Well, that brings to the end of the episode, I think.

Oh, my God. Is there anything we need to do? Just remind people that we love them. Oh, yes. And that, as Dave said at the start of the episode, you can suggest a topic. You don't have to be a Patreon to do so. There's a link in the show notes or it's on our website. You can find us on social media at dogo on Pod or dogo on podcast on TikTok.

Sign up to our mailing list. We don't spend it. We don't spam at all. We'll just let you know when we're coming to your neck of the woods. And it also helps us know where people are who want to come to our live shows. So, you know, the more people from say, we're so keen to go, where was it, Tokyo or something, Dave? You had the dream. Oh, yeah, Tokyo is, I mean, it's still like 40 people or something.

But if we could get that over to 100, and we only want people to sign up who legitimately will come. Because it would suck a weekend, no one turned up. Yeah. But like, if we could get 100 people in Tokyo, can we go for the weekend? I think so. for a weekend, I reckon. We haven't looked into visas at all. It could be like an American scenario.

Let's not make any promises until we've looked into this. Instead, we go to China, a lot easier to get into. So people can travel across. Let's just do North Korea. I think that'll be the easiest. People can come to us. Fantastic. See you there.

But yeah, Dave, boot this baby home. We will be back next week with another episode. But until then, I will say thank you so much for listening. And until then, goodbye. Later. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

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Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee. Ha ha ha.