Do Go On - 556 - Joe Carstairs; The Fastest Woman on Water

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

This week, we hear the story of a wealthy, eccentric woman who raced speedboats, had affairs with Hollywood's hottest actresses, bought a private island, and had a doll best friend who was cremated with her. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07:03 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://therake.com/default/stories/the-world-according-to-joehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Carstairshttps://alpennia.com/blog/joe-carstairs-object-lesson-protective-value-great-wealthhttps://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v20/n05/terry-castle/if-everybody-had-a-wadley Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's 2026. It's June and I'm excited because who knew it with Matt Stewart is celebrating 200 episodes with a big live show here in Melbourne, Matt. Yeah, at the basement comedy club here in Melbourne and it's a full 75 minute show. Oh, wow. Wow. We're the longest we've done with guest Dave Warnackie. That's me. Jess Perkins. That's me.

Mish. Big Wet Whitrip and one more to be announced. Who could it be? Whoa. And we are also coming with Dugo on to Canada. Oh, Canada, etc. I still don't fully believe this is real. I'm so excited.

You'll believe it when we touch down. David is like, if this is like one of your fucking pranks. No, I'm not going to punk you. I swear we are going to Canada in September, 26. We're going to be hitting up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto. And if you want tickets to the Who Knewet or the Canada tour, visit our website, do go onpod.com. And if you sign up at patreon.com slash dogo on pod, you can get discount codes for all. all those shows. I mean,

you know what I mean? Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello! Hey Dave, hey Jess. So good to be here. Oh my God. I don't know if I say this enough.

This is my favourite thing to do. I love doing this. This is your favourite thing to do? What about brunch? Yeah, no, you're right. I'm even going smaller. Shower. You'd rather shower than do this?

Yeah, I love a shower. Really? I do. I like shower and breakfast. I really look forward to this. What about a bath? You love a bar. Oh, that's true.

I love a bath. I love coffee more than I love this. No, I love this more. What do we combine all our loves? Matt's in the bath. Jess is having a coffee and I'm doing a podcast. Are we all in the same room though? I said I love this more, Dave.

Yeah, we're all in the same room. Yeah, I'm okay with that. Matt's got enough bubbles. Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot I hadn't mentioned anything I loved doing. Pyes. I'm eating a pie and it's awful, listen. Because we're acoustically in a bathroom.

I'm eating Jess is slurping. Welcome to the pod But at least I'm happy Anyway, yeah I'm glad that this is your favourite thing to do Matt I don't find that sad at all I look forward to it every single I just also want to double check that Matt

Would have enough bubbles in the bath That it's not weird that I'm I assume I'm sitting on a closed toilet Right next to the bath Yeah I always have lots of bubbles We're having a chat and I've got a coffee Yeah I actually think that's delightful I have heaps of bubbles time

We should do it in Canada Have we mentioned that to our listeners That we're going to be in Canada? I don't know We've mentioned that at all. Yeah, should we mention that? We've been keeping it pretty quiet. What about I just say this?

We're coming to Canada for our first ever live tour in September 2026, and we're doing shows in Vancouver, we're doing Calgary, we're doing Montreal, and we're finishing up in Toronto. Just in case. I'm so pumped. Because we haven't mentioned it, just in case. Yeah, I think, yeah, we just sort of kept that pretty under the radar. One of you did do a post about it last week, and there was a comment saying,

you're coming to Canada? That's right. They had 100 days to make their choice because I was the post saying, we're coming in 100 days. So hopefully everyone knows now. And we'll see you there. It's less than 100 days now. That's right.

Isn't that crazy? Well, the thing is also, Dave, if you forget, is we got new listeners every week. There could be new Canadian listeners now. It happened like in previous international tours where people go, oh, I just started listening. This will help the Canadian listeners. There'll be a Canadian listener that listeners for the first time going,

Holy shit, this is my new favourite podcast, and they're coming to Canada. Too bad, I live in Saskatchewan. Sorry. Hey, next time. Dave, we're not, be honest with them. Are we ever going to Saskatchew? I would love to, but do you reckon we'd ever do a show in Saskatchewan? Well, if this new mystery listener makes everyone in their whole territory listen, then yes.

True. I think a rule should be that we can only perform in cities that Matt can pronounce. Yeah, great. So we go to Saskatchewan. We go to Monshol. Obviously we're going to Calgary. Calgary. Wait, is Calgary got Gary in it?

It's Calgary. Calgary. Let's be honest. They're saying it wrong. Have I never noticed that before. We're going to Calgary. We're going to Calgary. Let's get a photo of you in front of a Calgary sign, but your head's blocking the Cal.

Matt's in Gary. So close. We're so close to Gary, Indiana. We're in Calgary. exciting. That's so exciting. If there was a new listener, listening in Saskatchewan or somewhere else in Canada

or somewhere else around the world, do you want me to explain what the show they're about to hear is? I think that'd be kind, yes. So what we do here is we take it in turns to report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners, may be voted for by our Patreon supporters. We go away, we do a bit of research on it, watch a dock over two,

write up a high school level report and then bring it back to the other two who have no idea what the topic is. It's always a secret. And Jess, it is your turn to. to report on a topic this week. We always start with a question, and I know you wrote this question sitting next to me a couple of minutes ago

because you told me not to look at your screen, and I'm not looking at it now. What is your question? Well, I've actually got three questions. What? Because I don't think you guys will have heard of this topic, so I'm going to break it down syllable by syllable. Okay.

Okay, so question number one. What is the name of Charlie's formerly bedridden grandfather who accompanies him to... Joe. To Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Uh, grandpa Joe. It is Joe. Joe's correct.

Question two, what mode of transport did Dave use to get to work today? Car. Correct, Matt. No, he's on fire. And how did Dave get from the ground floor to the top floor of the studio today? Stairs. Correct. We are talking about Joe Carstairs.

That's really good. I still don't know what that is. Well, I'll tell you more about it. I was thinking the answer was walk and I was like, Joe Car Walk. Joe Car Walk. I walked up the stairs. Joe Car Stairs. Is it a person?

Well done, Matt. That's three from three. He absolutely smashed it. I thought you were going to be talking about Batman's arch nemesis for a minute there. Oh, Jokar Walk. Yeah, I'm like, what's his surname? Is that his surname? Is that his surname is Jokarstead?

It took me too long. I was like, do that? How do you think he got these guys? The penguin? Anyway, we got there. So, for a little bit of backstory, I suppose, it is probably. month at the moment. And so my topics at the moment are being voted on by the Patreon listeners. So I put up, I think, like five or six topics that were all kind of, I basically

I searched around for LGBTIQIA plus in the Jack the Hat McVitty. Anybody can suggest topics by the way. That's right. And we love when you use sort of like key search terms or tags like that kind of thing so we can find these types of topics. And I will say as well, only one person. suggested Joe Castor's and obviously I used a little bit of sort of their pitch in the vote so I put in a little bit of information about

who all these people were so people knew who they were voting for and I used a little bit of their pitch and it was 100% the thing that pushed it over the line and I'll explain at the end as well so I was trying to sort of find stories that were because obviously queer history

is filled with violence and sadness and a lot of awful right but and I was wanting to and those are important stories that we need to be paying attention to but I wanted something kind of uplifting a bit of fun to celebrate love that so I've got this story about Joe Carstairs who's a bit of a character suggested by Leah Fulks from Dundee in Scotland and like I said and I'll tell you at the end what Leah wrote that really pushed the patrons over the edge okay so Marian Barbara Carstairs later known as Joe was born in London in 1900, the child of Francis

Evelyn Bostwick. Some great names early on. Bost-thwick. Bost-W-W-T. Okay, still good. Still good. You thought Bost-Thwick? Yeah. F-W-W-W. How would you spell that? Because you're pronouncing

1-T and then adding a T-H as well. Yeah, B-S-T-T-W-T. Yeah, B-O-S-T. It would have to be hyphenated, wouldn't it? Yeah, bossed-thwick. Oh, that's perfect. Thwick! Jess Thwick.

Jessica Thwick. Are you kidding me? That's really good. David Bost. Oh. Let's get hitched. I'd love to be David Bost. Unfortunately, you're not.

Damn, I know, I think my whole life would be different. That nominative determinism does work. Yes. Like, to make a cool person. Unfortunately, David Warnacky. Yeah, it's not good. It's not Dave Bost. I think about that.

I don't, if I ended up with Masherini, dad's, mum's maiden name, Matt Masherini would be, I don't know, I just think I would have absolutely dominated. I think he'd be like, I feel like Matt Masherini is like getting a gold medal at the X Games. Yeah, he's doing something sick for sure. Absolutely.

Certainly not podcasting. No. On the Thursday morning. He's like a BMX rider. And it being his favorite thing to do. Matt Maserini would find that. That's so sad. Favorite thing to do?

I guess jump out of a plane and then into another plane. Yeah. Matt Stewart's like, I like sitting still and talking for a bit. Oh, yuck. Get a life. I'd love to meet Matt Match for eating one day. Can we get him on the pot? Let's get him on.

He sounds cool. Dare I say he sounds hot. Oh, it's so hot. Your first name would not have been Matt. No. No. Would have been. Mikkel.

Matt Masherini is just, it's too much Mama. Oh, Mama. That's what I love about it. But yeah, you're talking about Matthew Masherini. But, no, you know, like in Australia. What about James, Jimmy Masherini? Oh my God, did you just get a second gold medal at the X game? I just got a stiffy.

Well, we all got that. Now, we got onto this because of Bostwyck. Bostwick. It's not even the right name. That's right. So this is Joe's parent. Her mother was Francis Evelyn Bostwick, who went by Evelyn. She was an American heiress.

Her father, I looked up the pronunciation, Jebez. Jebiz Boswick was an incredibly successful businessman. He was involved in the production side of the oil business through his firm Tilford and Bostwick, which is established in 1866. He bought out Tilford and in 1878 went into a successful partnership with Henry Flagler. Flagler and the Rockefeller brothers, John and William. He served as the Secretary-Treasurer of the Standard Oil Trust. So big like oil magnates early on.

Early on making lots of money. Yes. He was also a major shareholder and president of the New York and New England Railroad, a substantial shareholder in the Hussetonic Railroad, a member of the New York Cotton Exchange and who sat on numerous other corporate boards. So he was a business guy and incredibly wealthy. He passed away in 1892, but for context of the wealth he acquired, by the time his wife passed in 1920,

she left an estate per public record that was valued at $29 million. Okay. Today, that would be over $400 million. This is in 1920, $29 million. That's good money. Insane money. So that just gives a bit of context for the wealth of the family, and we know that wealth can breed some eccentric people.

And today's topic is most certainly eccentric. Love it. So Evelyn had moved to London. She married a Scottish Army officer, Captain Albert Carstairs, and the two of them had their daughter, Marion, aka Joe. I'll just call her Joe from here on. Captain Carstairs re-enlisted with the army the week before Joe was born, and he and Joe's mother divorced soon after.

A few sources claim that Captain Carstairs was not Joe's biological father, but I didn't see anybody hypothesizes to who actually. actually was. Evelyn later remarried the incredibly named Captain Francis Francis. But also, Evelyn's real first name is Francis. So they get married, they're both Francis Francis. Oh my gosh. His name is Captain Francis Francis.

Spelled the same both times. Did he become a captain just differentiated himself from his wife? Yeah, because, well, before that, he was Francis Francis. As a boy, he was Francis Francis. And then they had two more children. A daughter they named Evelyn after herself. And Francis. After himself.

After himself. And herself. So there was Evelyn Francis and Francis Francis Jr. Who went by Frank. And Evelyn went by Sally. And I know it's the early 1900s, but there's more than three names. Like, if you have to make up a nickname to differentiate members of, like, there's only five people in their family and everybody's doubling up. Just choose a different name.

Ridiculous. It's all about legacy with rich people. Yeah. they want to find, you know, like we're talking about last week with the Chinese emperor. It's all about legacy. It's all about immortality one way or another. I'm sure this is part of it. They're thinking I'm going to live on because my name lives on with my son or daughter.

You were talking about that final death mat where, you know, the last person ever says your name. You die the second time. But that will never happen if your generations later they're still called Francis Francis. Yeah, exactly. And I don't know what Francis Francis Senior's father's name was. But if it wasn't Francis and his parents were like, were riffing a new name for their son, why'd they choose Francis?

Francis Francis? And then he named his son Francis Francis Francis. Because I know it happens sometimes when people are immigrating and they've got a just a single name and it's not in their culture to have a surname or whatever and they'll arrive and customs will just go

all right we'll just double it up I know dad had a few students over the years where that happened and they were great names anyway like there was one kid called Vavetus so he ended up being Vavidus Vavidus which I think is one of the greatest names my dad taught us a kid called Solomon

Solomon I've never, I didn't even met that kid enough to think about that name 30 years later. It's just so good. So, Solomon, so good. So good. So I wonder if it's like that. They're like, just double it. Yeah.

France is squared. We'll just call him Frank. Just call him Frank so we can tell the difference. Would you believe that this has got me slightly confused? There's so many friends. Oh, yeah. Because none of them are Joe, though. No, none of them are Joe.

Joe is Joe. Joe is Joe. Yes. We're talking about. Her mother. Oh, it's okay. Her mother is Francis, Francis. No, well, yeah, kind of.

Her mother is Francis Evelyn, goes by Evelyn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She married Francis. This is a second husband. Oh, yeah, Captain Francis. So this is Joe's stepdad, Francis Francis, and then they had two more children, so these are Joe's half siblings,

Evelyn, Sally, and Francis Francis, Jr., Frank. Gotcha. And you'd be feeling left out if you're Joe, because you're the only non-Francis. Yeah, exactly. But Joe's, and Joe was born with a different name. Joe was Marion. Marion.

Just, yeah, Joe's a good name, I think. Joe's rock solid. Couldn't agree more. Classic, gender neutral, beautiful name. Almost as beautiful as Francis. Almost as good as Francis Francis. So Evelyn, Joe's mother, is described as an American beauty whose moods, according to biographer Kate Somerscale,

were fed by alcohol and heroin. Great combo. No. She had a string of lovers and husbands, some of whom Joe got on with, most of them probably not really. Terry Castle writes, isn't that a great name? Terry Castle. Terry comes up a bit too. Terry's like Terry and then just a word, I think it's one of the great combinations. Terry sandwich. Dave's D&D character, Terry Sharpener. Terry Sharpener. I laughed out that when I thought of it. So Terry writes,

and hardly surprisingly, Castaes grew up with a challenging indifference to her wealthy family. In 1905, she was flung from the back of a balting camel in London Zoo, knocked out, and after regaining consciousness, nicknamed Tuffy.

Wow. Tuffy's fun. They were different back in the early 1900s. Like, that just shows how rich are you? Well, I'm rich enough that I go to the zoo and I point at an animal and they let me ride it. Yeah, yeah.

He goes on saying, As an adult, she liked to speak of this deliverance as a kind of symbolic death and rebirth, the moment at which her real life began. By way of such personal myth-making, Summer Scale suggests, Kastairs threw off the feminine proper names of the old century and of her family's choosing,

undid the bonds of parentage and gender, and assumed the power of self-creation. Wow. All from, at the age of about four or five, getting thrown off a camel. It'll change you. That will change. I was thrown off a horse at the age of five.

And really, that's when... That actually makes so much sense. Change my life. You know how recently, or a little while ago, I said, you look like somebody who as a boy did ballet. I also think you look like someone who as a boy was thrown off a horse. Am I right, Matt? Is that the same?

It's similar. I never did ballet, but maybe because I was thrown off a horse. Yeah. Yeah, I imagine, I'm imagining you in like a little cowboy outfit. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. And you have little plastic guns.

Yeah. and you were saying like A little sheriff badge Yeah and you were just before Like everyone was going Was really glad that you got thrown off the horse Because you were just like being insufferable You're saying words like

Hey I'm just gonna mose yawn over here Oh howdy partner And they're like okay This kid is a lot You need a little trick from a horse To wet it's a whistle The horse is like I hate this cute

The other horse Deebucked you on purpose I gotta get this kid off This kid's This kid's ego is already too high Yeah it was at a children's farm And the whole prep class got to go on And I was the one that got bucked off

So it did take a set against me And so, okay I didn't say The ballet thing or the horse thing As an insult or a compliment It was a neutral statement But then the riff continued And I think

You know, maybe we got the right vibe Anyway, so a big, a big incident. Big incident in Joe's childhood. Anyway, so Evelyn, this is her mum, divorced Captain Francis Francis, and married French Count Roger de Perigny in 1915. He and Joe seemed to get on. He adapted his racing car so that a teenage Joe could drive it. He also offered her cigars as a favour, not punishment. Someone right?

And I was like, okay. and he took her to a Parisian brothel. Classic stepdad stuff. Oh, okay. Yep, yep, yep. But eventually, Evelyn left him as well because of his alleged infidelity, and in 1920 she married her fourth and last husband,

Serge Vonanov, a Russian French surgeon. Oh, he's named Serge. If only there was a word for, like, your name kind of... Funnily enough, I think it's Serge. He was a surge, and a surgeon, and his name was surge. He became famous in the 1920s and 30s for his practice of transplanting monkey testicle tissue into male humans for the claimed purpose of rejuvenation. Now, Matt, you're obviously as old as the wind, but you look no later than mid-40s.

So is it the use of monkey testicle? Yes. Well, and probably if you're, the coin's dropping, pennies dropping, you'll realize now I do a podcast about primates. It's because I am in part monkey. I'm a monkey man. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Just the amount of hair on you.

Yeah, yeah. As I've said, virility to me. You went in a bald boy and came out or half chimp. Yeah. Well, monkey, Dave. Chimps are apes. There was a mistake. They didn't know the difference.

Dave's never wrong, okay? That's right. Dave's never wrong. I haven't been wrong since I was buck to four. And I learnt my lesson. Anyway, as we might have guessed, given that it isn't a commonly offered cosmetic surgery these days, his experiments failed.

Oh, bugger. I mean, I was one success. I was looking for that thing, you know, sort of changed my life. Yeah. It's not that. That is, I mean, it's so funny what people have tried. And it's always, there's always stuff with animals' genitals.

Why is it always animal genitals? Yeah, why are we so obsessed with animals' junk? Leave it alone. I think we should give it another go. Why would that do anything? What animal would you like to milk for your... I don't want to milk the animal. Okay, yeah, that's gross.

How do you think we get? milk. Not the way I was just thinking. Okay. So Joe's rebellious behavior as a preteen led to a strange relationship with her mother who sent her to a boarding school in Stamford, Connecticut

at the age of 11 because she didn't really want to deal with her difficult child. Joe did, however, have a great relationship with her grandmother. This is from the rake. Her idol was her grandmother Nellie Bostwick. In Casta's telling Nellie was rough, tough, she wanted her own way. She was a wonderful person.

She had great power. So at only 16 years old, Joe persuaded her grandmother to let her join the American Red Cross so that she could drive ambulances during the Great War. She served in France, and it seemed like this change of scenery was like a fresh start for young Joe. At 16. Yeah. Wow. Again from the rake, at school she'd been tomboyish.

Based in Paris, she began to forge a new identity. She hung around on the fringes of a bohemium set and became infatuated with Dolly Wilde, Oscar Wilde's niece, who introduced her to sex. And Joe said, my God, what a marvelous thing. I found it a great pity I'd waited so long. What is this new thing? The kids are all doing. Oh, my God, what a marvelous thing.

Have you heard about this? You tried this? It's so funny to describe it as being introduced. I didn't lose my virginity to them. They introduced me to sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the idea of having absolutely no idea of the concept at all. until...

She must have been very confused when her stepdad took her to a brothel. Yeah. What do they do here? What is this? What is this place? I don't understand. Don't worry about it.

You wait here and I'll be back in a jiffy. And then her mom left this guy for infidelity. There were no signs. They were blindsided. Like he was so wholesome. He would take my daughter to the brothel. Honestly, it's like you think you know someone. You know?

Sad. I believe it was around this time that she started going by Joe, just chose sort of a new identity for herself. Author Heather Rose Jones writes, After World War I, Castas took her love of motor vehicles to supporting the British anti-Republican activities in Ireland, where she again fell in love with a number of like-minded, unconventional women. Then in 1919, it was back to France to help with post-war cleanup.

All this was hard physical work with a certain amount of danger. The nature of the work required masculine, style dress and it often attracted women who transgressed traditional gender roles. That was a lot of truss sounds. Well, there's two in a row that I struggled with. I thought you nailed it. Thank you so much. So from the rake again, news of her homosexual affairs reached her mother who warned her

to stop them and marry instead or be cut off. She's like, it's worked out well for me one, two, three, four times. Four times. Yeah. Fourth times a charm. Okay? Don't befow the same. sanctity of marriage with this homosexuality.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be like me and marry and marry again. Marry and marry again and again. Have a string of lovers, probably a lot of infidelity yourself. But leave a man if he doesn't. Unacceptable. Yep, so she says, I'll cut you off. So Joe did marry, spitefully.

A spite marriage, that's good. A spite marriage. It's the only way to do. For the cash. So, and just sort of, I guess to kind of get her mother off her back. She married a French aristocrat whom she believed her mother was seeing according to the rake

and they split the dairy between them parting ways straight after the wedding reception. Other sources say her new husband who is Count Jacques de Prett. Oh my God. Pré de Montge of fortune. We can only assume. Was a childhood friend of Joes

and other sources don't specifically mention that her mother was allegedly seeing him but it's pretty funny if her mum was sort of like had this guy on the side and Joe's like, great I'll marry him. You obviously approve? And so they were legally married. Jo changed her name to that of her husband, but they split the money and did not see each other again.

What period is this? This is the 1920s by this point? I was thinking just some of these names and titles feels like it's just centuries ago. Yeah. But you forget. It's just century ago. It's just century ago.

You did mention the Great War. I'm like, I assumed it first that was first world war. Now I'm like, I was Jess just talking about her favorite war. Just my favorite war. A great war. Yeah. It is funny, yeah. It is funny saying it written as the Great War and you're like, well, in great by, in great they mean big, you know?

Yes. Not good. No. And then there was an even greater war to come. So it lost its name. And now we don't even, like, every war we've had since has just been fine. We're waiting for the next really good war. Well, I think there's one coming up soon that it'll be a fitting final of the trilogy.

Although it is, like, you know, sometimes they wait so long for the third that there's a bit of a disconnect, Godfather three style. I'm worried that this one is, it already feels like the plot doesn't make a lot of sense. Yeah, it's kind of like, there's a lot of holes in it. When parents have like two kids close together and then like 10, 12 years later have another one? Yeah. It's not. I know technically it's another sibling, but it feels more like a nephew. Yeah.

So you're hoping for more of a gritty reboot. Yeah, I reckon. Yeah. Like go again. Just call it the Great War. Yeah, get Matt Reeves in, I reckon, to direct this next war. I'd get rid of every like you know how sometimes things take so long in development that the initial cast ages out yeah I reckon all the current world leaders who are in the main roles we should get rid of them

okay problem is you know if we recast well enough there won't be a big war right yeah it's a real catch-22 have to be careful yeah you have to be really careful actually really like we're gonna make sure we still get warmongers in I really like really like really reframing elections to recasting. Let's have a recast. I really like that. It's just not working out. That works for my brain a bit better.

I'm like, mm. Yeah. Our current prime minister is you're Eric Stoltz. We want to get, for Marty McFlyer, we really want to get a Michael J. Fox type. Let's get Michael J. Fox. Oh my God. Is he available? He'd be great.

He'd be so great. He'd be perfect. He already played a politician in Spin City. Oh, yeah. He's ready to go. He's ready to go. Was he the vice mayor or something? Anyway, it doesn't matter.

So Joe has gotten married out of spite. That's right, to account. Just get a trust fund, get her mom to piss off. Well, her mother, Evelyn, died in 1921. And Joe's marriage was annulled immediately on the grounds of non-consumation. Oh, right. And so by early the following year, Joe had renounced her married name and was back using Carstairs. So she, yeah, she just got married just to,

like tell her mum to piss off and to get her money and live her life. Right. So yeah, so her and her husband, they, they were the ones. Because it doesn't get annulled for no reason. They asked her to be annulled, I suppose. Yes, yeah, yeah. And you've got to go in before a judge and prove that you never boned? Yeah, so.

So, you've got to prove it. So one of them gets naked and then, but there's like a divider in between. So they can't see each other. And then he'll just ask questions of like, okay, Joe, describe his penis. And she's like, I can't, I've never seen it. How big the bush? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does he have, there's a freckle somewhere, left or right testy. And she's going. And she's wired up to like a lie machine. Yeah. A lie machine. What are they called? A lie machine. Yeah. What are they called?

A lie machine. Lie machines, yeah. Hooked up to a lie machine. And there's somewhere there going, she's telling the truth. She has no idea about that freckle. Yeah. Or she knows about the freckle, but only because she accidentally walked in on in the shower. Yeah, yeah.

It's a very highfalutin line machine. But if you've accidentally walked in on someone in the shower, you have to stay married. Oh my God, of course. Yeah. Yeah, because of, what was that? It was soap versus scrubber. Yes. Well, what year was that?

1890. Yeah, 96. 96, I didn't know, 96. I think it's 96. Soap v scrubber. I reckon Scraber was hard done by. Yeah. I'm a real scrubper, truth.

But anyway. Okay. So according to an article about Joe on the Red Cross website, they say, The 1920s had been a period of increasing visibility and tolerance of lesbians and women with a more masculine presence. It was during this time that Joe started to wear her hair short,

wore suits from Saville Row, a famous tailor's shop that's still around today. She covered her arms. in tattoos and lived openly with a succession of girlfriends. The Rake says, Casta's had scores of girlfriends over her time. An album of her girlfriends contained 120 pictures. Wow.

Just keeping like a little scrapbook of girlfriends. That's so gross. But it's 120 pictures. Is it like a polar road of each one? Or is it like, I mean, I have way more than 120 pictures on my phone. I think you're not all. But in the 1920s, you've got to go out of your way to get the picture. That's such a point, yes.

Hey, babe, I'm really loving you. I want to add you to my book. Sorry, the book. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Having a barren book is pretty, pretty crook. Yeah, couldn't agree more. And still from the rake.

And did not underestimate her powers as a brilliant lover. I was made to think so, she said. Everybody else thought so, so I thought so too. I would have liked me. You start to believe you're unhyped. Yeah. People are saying, that was good. She's going, it was good.

I was good. I'm great at this. I did all of that. I know it is Pride Month, but is it okay to think this woman is insufferable? Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And at the very end, I'll tell you some of the other options that I put up for the vote.

And they're like truly impressive people. Anyway, that's, that's just what we've gone for. And there will be multiple points in this where you go, I understand exactly why the Patreon has chosen this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I'm already with it. I mean, insufferable, wealthy, like, wealthy entitled asshole. Wealthy eccentric's so funny.

Yeah, they are funny. Something about, like, back then, too, like some of the stuff they did, it's crazy. It's so, like, you know, that they'd have insane exotic animal pets and, well, they still do that in pots. Insane exotic animals, testicles attached to them. Exactly right. Internally. It was a different time.

Internally. You get so rich and bored that you're like, I want that. animal's testicles. Daddy, I want that animal's testicles. Fine. Stop bothering me. I'm reading the accounts. Yes, still lots of money. My account is still full. Very good. But I need more. I've made you extra money. From Wikipedia, a fantastic online, like a database of information. Oh, really? Fascinating. But Joe's specifically. Oh.

In 1920, with three former colleagues from the Women's Legion Mechanic Transport section, she started the ex-garage, a car hire and chauffeering service that featured women-only staff of drivers and mechanics. Carstairs and her friends and lovers lived in a flat above the garage, which was situated near Cromwell Gardens in London's fashionable South Kensington District. Several of the ex-garage staff had served as drivers during the war and spoke French, German or Italian. The cars and drivers could be hired for long-distance trips,

and the business specialised in taking grieving relatives to visits to war graves and former battlefields in France and Belgium. So they take it on long journeys. That is amazing. And that is, has this been a sitcom, this concept? Yes. Oh! Sounds incredible.

Yeah. That's really fun. They were also hired for journeys within London, and the garage had an arrangement with their Savoy Hotel to transport guests to the theatre or to shows. So they'd like drive fancy wealthy guests around. Great. There's lots of stories there too for the sitcom.

Yeah, right? But then there's also, you know, a couple of times a season, they're going on a long journey. Pretty fun. And they live in the house together? Yeah. It's great. They're fucking. Yeah.

They're all super horny. That's fun. Super rich. Yep. Super good with cars. Yeah, they're like women wearing overalls and they got a bit of grease on their face. Yeah. Hot.

Gosh. Girl mechanic. Hot. Copyright. Copy right this idea that actually happened to someone in real life. During the early 1920s, ex-garage cars were a familiar site in London's fashionable circles. So it sounds like it was quite a successful business for a time, which is pretty cool. The rakes says Castaise dressed the part.

Castairs, like a well-fed schoolboy, had a full, smooth face, well-pressed jackets, regular features, and hair firmly slicked back on her head. For the camera, she frowned a little, squared her shoulders, held a cigarette in one hand and placed to the other in a jacket pocket, you know, how men pose for photos. One night, yes. Can you just in future, just always, to help put it into terms that, you know, the listeners can understand, describe how people look in the terms of schoolboys, how well-fed they are.

Yes, I agree. I thought that was a really important, really helpful. Really helpful imagery. Like a well-fed schoolboy. Oh, yes, now I see. Thank you. I think essentially, so had a full, smooth face. She had sort of a roundish face, is essentially all they're trying to say.

Like a well-fed schoolboy. This was a. One night she got drunk, in quotes, awfully scratched, and woke up with tattoos on her arms. Later on, when she was partying with actor Marlene Dietrich, she showed up for a party in a gentleman's evening suit. Her hosts implored her to change into something more feminine and less outrageous. She obliged with a gown

which showed the ink stars and dragons on her muscled arms and they asked her to change back. I said, you can't wear that. Put on a frock. She puts on a frock. They said, put the shoe back on. Good heavens.

It's amazing that such a recent time, a woman wearing a jacket was outrageous. Yeah, yeah, a woman wearing trousers was outrageous. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. Many women in the night. 1920s dressed boyishly, not so much as provocation, this is still from the rake, more to make a show of their immaturity. For cast-airs, it was different, although she was entranced by youth.

She wore baggy trousers, peacoats and stiff collars. Her suits were made on Savile Row and flattened her cleavage. One friend described her as looking like an exuberant schoolboy. I think they're just like... Thank you. But how well first. Yeah, exactly. I think it's just that like she's, I don't think she's particularly tall. And so when she's wearing more masculine clothing, they're just like, schoolboy. Like, they can't possibly be like, yeah, a woman in a jacket. They're like, a bit like a schoolboy, I suppose.

You're the feminine or you're a schoolboy. Yeah, that's right. That's what you could be. You're either a lady in a gown or you're a schoolboy. They're so confused by it. I loved this description of, Joe as sort of a person as well because she's also like very

confident. This is a description. Joe would walk into a room, head straight for the mirror and strike a pose. Three fingers inside her jacket pocket, the thumb and little finger outside. Oh, okay. Marvelous, she'd exclaim. She just walks into a room,

finds a mirror, strikes a pose and goes, yes. Still got it. Now that's a well-fed schoolboy. Oh, what an exuberant schoolboy. Oh, Remington's was going to, have you seen this schoolboy? What, what, this schoolboy has a certain, how do you say, how do you say? Who is that schoolboy?

What, darling, that's Joe Carstairs. Oh, that exuberant schoolboy over there. Wow. Yeah, it's so, she seems like such a funny, strange character. Looking in the mirror, it's so good. It's so good, just like, but like, marvelous, yeah. My joy. Yeah, she's like a fashion photographer and the model all in one.

Yes, oh, strike it. Yes. Oh, the camera loves you. Oh, oh, oh, marvelous. The best I'll give myself with the camera is in the camera, in the mirror is, okay. But not in front of other people either. You're small like, I guess this will do. That'll do, I guess.

The cameras in the studio really only get me from like chest up, so it'll be right. Yeah, don't worry about the pants. Whatever. I'm not wearing pants is what I'm telling the listeners. We say, can you put the pants back on? So before I get to the next adventure she undertook in her life, I need to tell you about a very important companion she had and who is probably a large factor in why this topic won the Patreon vote by a big margin.

My imagination is running wild. What are you thinking? He did mention exotic animal before. Sure. Was that a red herring? Her companion was a red herring. He also mentioned. And what?

Well-fed school boys. Yeah, and that Irish writer's niece. Yep. Oh, yeah, also asked niece. And she knows Marlena Dietrich, so maybe she knows like some of someone we've heard of? No. Okay. So author Heather Rose Jones writes,

Castairs attracted a regular flock of girlfriends from high society women to show girls. Though Castaer's relationships were less openly discussed by the press than her male compatriots were. In 1925, while on holiday with her secretary, in quotation marks, Ruth Baldwin, who seemed from the evidence to have been the deepest love of her life, castaise received from her a present of a doll that would become her mascot and icon. The doll was a stuffed leather boy doll made by the German stif toy company, who stood about 12 inches tall and who Joe named Lord Todd Wadley. Okay.

Todd Wadley. Yeah. Or Wadley, probably Wadley. Todd Wadley's better. Todd Wadley. Todd Wadley. Terry Castle writes, Castes immediately made him the object of an extraordinary, often comical, private cult.

She spoke of Wadley as her dearest friend, had expensive outfits made for him on Saville Row, ordered tiny leather shoes for him from Italy, and placed his name, along with her own, on a plaque over the front door of her flat in Chelsea. That is awesome. Todd what leave Which I'm looking at that and I'm like I do have clothes For my dog I would

If I had a little sign For who lived in our house The residence of Yeah Chris's name would be on there But I haven't had expensive outfits Made for him tailored And I have not ordered shoes from Italy

And I don't have a sign over my front door Because that'd be weird But if you were a multi-millioner You would do all of those things 100%. You're just financially stopped from that. It's just that he's a little living dog and not an inanimate doll. Yes.

It's a bit Brideshead Revisited. There's a character in there who is a wealthy man who takes a teddy bear everywhere. He goes. Right. Aloisius. I said it wrong. Then I said Aloysius on the podcast and I got a lot of messages. Oh.

Yeah. And it's... Based on a real person? No, but it's flashing back to a similar era to this. I'm wondering if. of Evil and War was maybe inspired by this? Well, there was someone else in this kind of time who was like a race car driver who had a little teddy bear.

And Todd Wadley was kind of... Lord Todd Wadley was kind of compared to that little teddy bear. So that's very interesting. There you go. Is the Simpsons episode where Burns has the teddy bear may be based on some of this as well? Bobo. Yeah.

Who knows? Wadley soon developed his own mock life, which ran in tandem with Castor's own. The admirably deadpan summer scale, so this is so interesting. It's Terry Castle writing about Kate Somerscale's biography of Joe Carstairs. Now, if someone was to quote you. She's admirably deadburn reports that in 1929, one of Castor's friends dummied up a magazine feature in which Wadley was pictured yachting, riding, taking cocktails, writing a novel and sitting for a studio portrait. So it sort of seems like some of her friends and stuff were kind of in on it

and it was just a bit of fun. Yeah. But it's just so eccentric and funny. She's got this little doll that she takes everywhere with her. Todd Wadley is a great name for a dog too. Todd Wadley. Or a duck. Yes.

This is my duck, Todd Wadley. Dare I say it's better for a duck because it does need to be something that waddles. I think it'd be good for like a beagle. You know how their walk is a little bit wadley? They're about, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. They are a bit like that. Oh, here they come. You think like maybe an English bulldog as well, that kind of work?

He's a bit too, he's a bit like, pinkie, plinky, plinkie, plinkie, you know, he trots. He doesn't waddle. Anyway, somebody else said, Wadley functioned for carstairs as a mascot, fetish and alter ego. I don't know what the fetish side of it, as a miniature externalisation of her own glamorous, if cartoonish nature. We're like one, Joe said. He's me and I'm him. It's a marvellous thing. If everybody had a Wadley, there'd be less sadness in the world.

Wadley's for all. She probably had enough money to get a Wadley for everyone. I need charity she's running. Todd will come up later. And that may not surprise you. But we'll move on. So in 1925, she inherited even more of the family fortune and decided to move on to the next adventure.

So her chauffeur company, ex-garage, closed down, and she decided to move on to a new hobby. Boats. Okay. You start with cars, you move on to boats. That's so classic, isn't it? Boats of the, you, boats are cars of the sea. Has anyone said that before? Because that's how I think of them.

Is that one of yours? Yeah, I think that might be one of mine. That's actually, that's actually so interesting. Hmm. Have you ever thought about it like that? I've never thought about it like that. But in so many ways, what is a car? It's something, you know, it's a vehicle that you sit in, stand in,

and, you know, it gets you from A to B via roads, etc. Rather than waterways. But a boat is the car of the sea or river. Oh, my God, yes. Or lake. And a river, in a lot of ways, rivers like an artery, like a highway, like a highway. It's like a wet, it's a wet freeway.

Have you thought about it? Society's greatest thinkers. I've never thought about that. Sometimes, yeah, sometimes I sit and think and sometimes I just sit. Can I put something to you? Yeah. That a plane is just a bus of the sky. What?

Hang on. something something yes something there there is something there is that fascinating that is fascinating wow yes yes please do go on okay so she started commissioning very fast motorboats for a shipbuilder from a shipbuilder in cows her first speedboat was named gwen after one of her former lovers actress gwen Ferrar. Could have called it Ferrari, but that's right. No, Gwen. But on a test run, it capsized, so Castez, rechristened it, Nug, which is Gwen backwards.

Okay. Bit of fun. And promptly... Gwen is... Gwen in itself is a pretty clunky... It's sort of a... It's got a beautiful... It's beautiful in its own way.

But it's a bit of a clunky name. But when you turn around a nug, you go, actually, Gwen's beautiful. Yeah, Gwen's actually very nice. Nice. Gwen's awesome. I love Gwen. Gwen. You're right. It's an interesting one. It's a Welsh, isn't it? It must be. If you had a G and a W in there. Yeah. That feels very Welsh to me. And for some reason, that makes it better to me. Now, oh, that's Welsh. Yeah, it's sick. Gwen. Love it. If you told me it was English, I would have said, get it out of here. Get it the fuck out of here. I would say, I would say, you take that known, Gwen. And you'd be. Peter, and you go to fuck out of here. But no, it's Welsh, I love it. Yeah.

One of our society's greatest thinkers. Yeah. Is this going to be a nightmare at it for a Joe? So he's just leaving the beginning. Because I'm like, this isn't releaseable. How do you think this is any different to every other episode? This is what we do. This is what we do.

It's absurd. This feels worse. Oh, I couldn't agree more. And, like, the fact that this is my job and, like, my brother can build an entire house from scratch. And my best friend is a police officer. And, you know, we've come from families of teachers and nurses and useful people. And then I'm like, well, sometimes I go and sit in a room and talk shit with my friends for a bit. Sometimes you just sit.

Sometimes I just sit. Unfortunately, it's my report, so I am talking this time. But a lot of the time, I'm just sitting. Tell us more about Nug. Nug. So Nug went on to win a series of races in Southampton and in Kahn

She was in her element She said I liked the boats I liked the way they behaved I understood them And it wasn't just the speed She also said why at the end of a race You're filthy spattered with oil soaked through and can't hear a thing

She loves it She loves the boats She loves racing It's raw She took Nug She's like Oh I love it at the end Can't hear anything

I love it slowly over many days your hearing comes back oh it's riveting honestly it would have been obviously money's not an object for her but for all us plebs you can get the same feeling by getting half a liter of oil throwing it all over yourself chucking in a couple of earplugs done off you go yeah i probably wouldn't even use the full half liter i'd that's probably five sessions yeah exactly easy but you know it's it's different for her that wouldn't be satisfying to her Yeah, yeah. You know, when you have that amount of money, you know, you've got to spend a lot of it to feel anything.

You got to piss it up the wall. You know what I mean? Speed boats. She took Nug to the Duke of York's Trophy, a four and a half mile race down the Thames. In 1925, Carstairs was the fastest on the water, reaching a top speed of 32 knots, I don't know what that is, until she got snagged in weeds and placed fifth. The following year, with a supercharged engine, engine, she won the race. along with a hall of other major trophies. So she's a very good...

Yeah, she's a great racer. Wow. Next, she set her sights on the Harmsworth British International Trophy, the most prized race in the world. From the rake, Carstairs commissioned three monster boats designed to run at 100 miles per hour, the fastest on water. All were called Estelle after Carstairs' mother.

Her mother's name was Evelyn. Oh. So that was a really... A really baffling sentence. But also Francis. Evelyn. But then she named the boats after her mother, Estelle. Don't worry, I have a bit of an explanation.

Evelyn's a great name, by the way. Something about Evelyn I love is a name. You know what I love? I love the Y-N at the end of it. Yeah. I don't know why. Me too. Evelyn War.

I don't know anything about him or her, but a rider and all I know, fantastic name. Evelin. Start to finish. Love it. Evelyn War. Dave, can you fill out any blanks? He was also married for a time to another Evelyn. Oh my God.

Like Taylor Lautner and Taylor Lautner. And they were nicknamed Heavalin and Sheevalon. I think you've told me that at some point, I think. That's incredible. That's really good stuff. Really good. Should I read? Would he have written stuff that I would enjoy?

No, it's not like Bill Bryson-level fucking bullshit non-fiction. Yeah, Bryce had revisited. I would read the start bit and I read the end bit and you're good. The flashback in the middle. That's not so great. Almost like you could just listen to a book cheat about it. That's true. You could do a bookchie.

I've done also a handful of dust as another one I've done on. And that, Jess Perkins was on. Okay. Do you remember, Jess? Mm-hmm. It's like a satirical, like, a look at this sort of lifestyle, actually, at the start. And then it has an incredible twist ending, which I won't spoil. Who else was on it?

Maybe Zave. Maybe Xavier Michael Edie. What? Was this 400 years ago? I've been doing that pod for a long time. Wow. Let me look at a book sheet. I'm sure you're on this one.

Wow. He's Googling his own podcast, which I think is a really... Yeah, here it is a handful of dust with Jess Perkins and Xavier Michaelities. May 2021, so it's five years ago. Still, that's still, like, I should remember. Five years I should remember. Something came up the other day. I was having...

I'm out for dinner with Aiden, and he... mentioned something. He mentioned seeing like a particular doctor, a psychologist, like near us. He's like, yeah, I went there. And I was like, well, you went to that psychologist? He's like, yeah. I was like, when was this? And he was like, it was during COVID. You told me to go. I was like, what? Because I went for six sessions. I went, what? I had no idea. Do you remember any of your life? No, that I'm actually getting a little bit concerned that I don't remember anything. There's a reason that, like, you've got the names of who lives at your house, so you remember where you live. It's like I'm walking around the building and going one of these, I think.

Oh, goose. I live with ghosts. I know goose. He'll let me in. Anyway, so we got up to this. So she named the boats Estelle after her mother, whose name was Evelyn. So that was really baffling to me. I was like, I think I might be reading like unreliable sources here because there's also back then, like there was mentioned before of her grandmother.

She was close to Nellie. Her grandmother's name was Helen. Her aunt was Nelly, but did her grandmother get called Nelly? Because is that a short for Helen? I don't know. So it was a bit confusing. So anyway, I was baffled by the Estelle thing. All they'd said of the rake was she misremembered, perhaps deliberately.

And I'm like, what? So then I saw Terry Castle talk about it. Terry can rely on Terry Castle. And Terry Castle is, again, just doing a review of the biography. So in a way, I'm also quoting Kate Summer Scale here. It's baffling. so this makes it hopefully make a little bit more sense. Later in life, she claimed not to know her father's name

and strangely mistook her mothers. After christening a series of record-setting speedboats after her in the 20s, Estelle 1, 2 and 3, Castaise announced that she belatedly discovered that her mother's name was really Evelyn. So it's kind of her making a bit of a comment of her detached relationship with her mother. I've sort of like, oh, yeah, I called her herself to my mum.

Turns out her name was Evelyn? I don't even know that woman. I think it's like a little bit of a job. jab. Jab at Mumsy. Really confusing. So she has three boats named Estelle. Yeah, Estelle, one, two and three.

And you said they're all monsters and they're all... They're all big. But one sank. One was never finished. But Estelle two... Okay. Big, sleek and beautiful, painted black. Raced at the 1928 Harmsworth Cup.

A crowd of 150,000 watchcasters take the lead. The English girl was making a real race of it, was later written. Before Estelle two was thrown into the air. car stairs and her mechanic were hurled into the water. They're going very fast too. She won praise from all as the fastest woman in the water and even the best racer on the day. Is that when she was swimming?

Swimming to safety? God, she could move. It was yeah, even the best racer on the day, but that wasn't enough. She re-entered the following year, building her own boat and failed. And in 1930s, she set an American speed record but failed in the race. Both of her boats breaking down. Well, you'd better get a good look. look at me because I am not coming over again, she said.

That's it. But that's kind of where she got this title that she's still sort of known as is as the fastest woman on water. On water. Oh, buddy, water. Fastest woman on water. She was the fastest woman on water who never see her. Jesus walked on water, but he was real slow and not a woman.

Whereas Joe, she ran in brackets, floated in a boat, but real fast. We're motor? I don't know. But that's how fast she was going. This is the nonsense bullshit. This is the show. Hey, Jail, I'll tidy it up. Yeah, it'll be fine.

I'm guessing it's motorboats. Yep. She's not a really fast rower. No, motorboats. I mean, Jess has talked about her building these motorboats. That's right. Yeah. But we're guessing.

Terminology changes. Oh, right. They used to call motors. That was like if someone's really good, they've got really good with oars. Jeez, this guy's a bloody motor. This guy's an absolute motor. She's at the gym working on her biceps. She's working on her motors.

Yeah. Well, God, these things are going to go through war. et cetera, et cetera. Etra, et cetera. She's on the rowing machine for a reason. Exactly. So now she's going to move on to her next kind of adventure. Right.

So there was a book called The Well of Loneliness. It was published in 1928 and it was written by Radcliffe Hall. Isn't that an incredible name? That's really good. British author. And it was a lesbian novel and the characters have lesbian relationships. and people did not like that. And it became this whole big sort of scandal.

There was a trial. The book was like banned. And it became, it sort of created this widespread public backlash against supposed inverts and deviants, which is just what they called homosexuals then, which is awful. Editor of the Sunday Express publicly denounced homosexuality

as a pestilence threatening to destroy social life. In the new repressive moral climate, castairs like other unconventional women came increasingly under suspicion. Reporters began to comment on her tattoos and swearing and indelicate mannerisms. Tattoos swearing. Oh no, indelicate mannerisms. Do you think I have indelicate mannerisms? Because I know I've got two, but do I have, have I got three for three there?

Yes. How would you describe indelicate mannerisms, you little fuck? I thought for a second you were using indelicate mannerisms as a little. the euphemism for your tits. Because you said, I know I've got two, but are they indelicate? Indelicate mammorisms. One of the great thinkers. One of society's credits.

Don't refer back to that. AJ would have edited it out. It's stated. He doesn't edit stuff like that out, mate. He doesn't save you. The most indelicate mannerism I reckon you have is probably like, like, mine punching me in the balls a lot. like coming up and going, uh,

and then pausing just before I was saying, what would you do right now? What would you do if I actually? Yeah. You'll kick your foot up at my face and stop it just short. What would you do if I actually kicked you in the face right now? We get so much of that. What would you actually do?

And then, oh, pause just before the ball. Yeah. That, that's probably your least delicate matterism. And I appreciate. share the feedback. What I'm hearing is I'm essentially a little brother. That's what I'm hearing.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Do we have a flinch? Oh, no. Honestly, not anymore. Yeah, yeah, maybe the first few times and now it's like you'll just keep going on with your day. Oh, yeah. You barely even look up at me when I do it now. Like, you'll be doing something on your computer and I'm like, right in your face going, what would you do? And you're like, yeah, no, I'd be horrified. Obviously, yeah, absolutely. Still like editing something. Yeah. Just, you're one for you. Just you're one for me is you like do it right up to my face so your fist hangs there and I just my method is to sniff your fist yeah you outweared me like it makes me laugh but it also makes me uncomfortable yeah and I'm like

alright he got me it's sort of snapped you out of your I go okay you're in delicacies sorry I I pretended to punch you in the face anyway so the reporters are really they're really into her tattoos and swearing and delicate mannerisms which is incredibly unladylike and suspicious and what you're saying before like society seem to sort of just not really question her life style or being a bit of now because this has become a thing in the media, it's become a thing to be discussed. I think it was something that they were a little more comfortable just kind of like sweeping under the rug or ignoring.

But it's also interesting because some sources say, yeah, in the 20s it was like, you know, people were pretty openly gay and yada, yada, yada. But then very soon I'll say, yeah, in the 20s, the idea is really. started to shift the other way and you couldn't and it's like so what was it but I think a really important factor is that she is incredibly protected by her wealth

and connections and privilege. Yes status absolutely. So if she was a regular person none of this would be acceptable. It's less oh this person's eccentric. Exactly. So that's very important in her story and that like she's doing all these things but she can just

afford to be whoever the fuck she wants to be and people just just go, oh, well, she's from this incredibly powerful, rich family. She can do whatever she wants. So it's really weird and interesting. But they wrote about her, she smokes incessantly. Not with languid feminine grace, but with the sharp decisive gestures a man uses. She smokes decisively.

Women, they're usually so, oh, what am I doing? I didn't even know. Oh, I might have a puff. Oh, what is this? But she smokes like she intends to smoke that cigarette. She's like, f-oh, I've got got three going at once. She sucks the fuck out of these things. She sucks the absolute fuck out of those.

And it's a bit weird, because I'm a man, I can suck the fuck out of this thing. But it's not, oh, it's disgusting when she doesn't. But the thing that really pushed her over the edge was when an American newspaper disparaged her pet, Lord Todd Wadley, as an absurd mannequin and that's when her patience ran out that was the final straw for her she's like you can call me indelicate

you can have an issue with my tattoos and my swearing and my short hair and my masculine clothing but you shall not come for Todd Wadley and you have to have a line I think that's important you have to have a line and that's up to you that's your personal

sort of you know what I mean like it's, and hers was Todd Wadley. Yeah. Which I cannot wait to see a photo of Todd Wadley. Oh, yeah. Heather Rose Jones adds, the press coverage of Castor's life and exploits became more biting, and in 1931, she set off on around the world voyage to escape the gossip.

So she's just like, fuck this, you're being losers, I'm out. Yeah, talk about being inoculated by the wealth. Not everyone can just go, all right, I'm going to go. I'm going to get away from all this. She literally builds and lives on a luxury yacht. I mean, if you could, you probably would. I wouldn't. I get quite seasick.

But in theory, yes, I would get on a plane and leave somewhere else. She's real fast on water, though, as well. So it's probably where she feels safest. No one's going to catch her there. No one's going to catch it. And if it breaks down, like I'd be panicked them in the middle of the ocean. She's like, yeah, I'll just fix it. She's worried about someone coming for Talk Wodley.

Oh, yeah, she's got to protect Todd Wodley. And she's like, his safest place is on the sea. International waters with Todd Wadley. Yeah. I feel the safest where I can go fastest. Where's that for you? Car. Ah, you feel safest.

Yeah. Speeding down the highway. Weaving. No indicator. Blasting the horn. In your Ford Bronker. Here comes another fucker. I say to the car in front of me, what would you do?

What would you if I rammed you? What would you have I rammed you right now? And the car behind you, what would you do if I just lend all over the brakes right now? I'll just strut it on the brake. What'd you do? I really am hearing that I'm about an eight-year-old boy. And then a police officer pulls you over and you're like, what would you do, officer? If I took your gun.

If I took your gun and punched you on the balls with it. What would you do? Obviously, I didn't do it, so I can't be charged. What would you do? I should ask you a question. Can't be charged for thinking a crime. God, you're no fun. Anyway, so she barks off.

And her relationship with Ruth Baldwin, the one who gave her the doll. Her secretary. Her secretary slash lover. That relationship sort of soured. They parted ways. Joe built and briefly lived on a luxury yacht before in 1934, she bought an island. in the Bahamas. That's awesome.

Private Island. Yeah. Eccentric. The Bahamas, is that where you've been, Dave? It just sounds like paradise. The word, I hear the word Bahamas

and I think, just magical paradise. It's beautiful. I mean, there's hundreds of islands. It's like such a large chain, but I think celebrities like David Copperfield,

Sean Connery, these people, like when he was love here, people still own private islands there. So I've been a... David Copperfield's one. I think he bought it in part because he heard there was the source of eternal life.

There was like the fountain of youth was there. And he's like fully been believed that and he was investigating it and stuff. It's like, David, you know you're not actually magic. You know it is an illusion. David? David, hello? David, hello?

But have we seen David Copperfield lately? Is he looking particularly youthful? He looks like a well-fed boy. An exuberant schoolboy I'm looking him up You look up David Copperfield Yeah Just see

See what he's looking like He's 69 years old Nice That's very nice David And I reckon I mean if that's a recent photo His hair is still very black Naturally

His hair is magically Naturally Magically He's magically incredibly black And very evenly toned Almost like a box dye type of thing Anyway

So yeah this part of Joe's story is such a rollercoaster. I really can't tell from the writing about it if it's seen as a good thing or a terrible thing. It feels like it's both. So the story basically goes that she went to the island. Some sources say she saw an ad for it. Others say she was just kind of sailing around and saw it and it called to her

or she was like, that's my on. So I'm not entirely sure exactly how she came to see this island. You'd be stoked if it called you and you found out it was for sale. That'd be, that feels like the universe. Yeah, for sure. So the island's called Whale Key. And she talked to a couple who were there, like basically he was the lighthouse keeper and his wife was there with him.

And she purchased the island for $40,000. Okay. Which feels like a bargain now. But when you remember that when her grandmother died, there was $29 million up for grabs. So she's got that change in her pocket sort of thing. Yeah, exactly. It's not like she had all the 29 mil, but she was very wealthy. 40 grand is fuck all.

That's wild. She bought an entire island. She's looking in the ashtray in her car, in her Datsun or whatever. Yeah, I've probably got enough coins to cover this. Yeah. Checking all the pockets in her cargo pants. Oh, there's another 10K. Will you take a casino chip? For $40,000.

Terry Castle writes, she threw herself into rescuing it. With the help of cheap labour from nearby islands, Unemployment was endemic in the pre-tourist West Indies of the 30s. She cleared the land of its dense vegetation, laid out a lavish plantation called the Great House for herself and her lovers, and built cottages for her workers and their families. The local population grew to several hundred. Wow. On the island?

Yeah. It must be a big one. Yeah, I don't know exactly how big it is. So on one hand, in addition to the mansion she built for herself, she also had paved roads built all over the island. which were probably mainly for her own benefit, but also pretty handy for the people that were living there. She restored the lighthouse. She built a power plant, a radio station, a schoolhouse, a museum,

as well as supporting agriculture on the island. They grew a lot of crops. She bought several more small islands nearby for more agriculture, and she dredged out a harbour on Whale Key. So she's done a lot to make the island. I think previously it was literally just like the lighthouse keeper was there just to look after the lighthouse. I don't think there were people living there.

But now she's kind of made it somewhere that people are living. That's good. But on the other hand, stories like this exist. From the Rake, in 1940, an American pilot landed his amphibious plane just off Great Whale Key, an island in the west of the Bahamas, about 150 miles southeast of Florida. He didn't stay long.

A friend, a newspaper columnist later reported, he came back in a big hurry, reporting in some alarm that when he landed in the water, a short, stock-built dame came popping out of the house on the key with a double-barreled shotgun in her dukes and a dull menace in her lovely orbs. Okay. Or eyes or tits?

Yeah. Did she have a dull menace in her tits or her eyes? Sounds like tits, lovely orbs. Yeah, if somebody says what lovely orbs you have, I'm thinking tits. That sounds like, you read a lot of romance novels right, Jess. Is that the kind of language that? If you read that and that, what are you hearing?

I'm thinking tits. Yeah. Yeah. Do they often have a dull menace about them? No. It's a firing menace. It's never dull. The pilot had a lucky escape.

So this is the rake still continuing. The lucky had a luck. The lucky had a lucky. The pilot had a lucky escape from Marion Joe Carstairs, a speedboat champion, cross-dressing lesbian, heiress to an oil fortune, and the queen of whale key. Later that year, a group of American tourists

mawed their schooner and rode a, and rode up to a beach on the island. They were met by a group of Bahamian inhabitants, face painted machetes in hand, and Castaers waving her largest cutlass, and they were taken prisoner. The tourists were marched hands bound behind their backs to the island's lighthouse. Castaes emerged, dressed as a great white goddess. And the locals danced and chanted around her. The tourists spent the rest of the night locked in the garage and were released at dawn.

No explanation or apology was supplied. I don't give a fuck about the law, Kastas said. Okay. So hard to know whether she's having a positive or a negative impact on the island. She's lost it. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know if she ever fully had it. Yes.

But whatever she had, she now has lost. She now no longer has, yes. Quick, arrest those strangers and fetch my white goddess outfit. Yeah. Dance around me, would you? Let's give them a show. It's really like she's just fucking with them. And then let's lock them in the garage.

Yeah, it's bizarre. Oh dear. Yeah, it's an interesting one. It's hard to sort of say what, I can't quite get a read on the vibe on the island. In some ways they seemed to like her and others they didn't. In some ways it seemed like she had good intentions in others. It's not quite clear.

Very confusing. Terry Castle once again says. Castors dominated her black subjects by sheer force of personality. Many were believers in Obia, a form of voodoo brought by African slaves to the Caribbean in the 18th and 19th centuries. Soon after her arrival on the island, while clearing a road with some of her men, Castas killed a snake by hurling her knife at it.

And by God, I cut that goddamn snake's head right off, she said. The feat was taken as an omen, and ever after she told French, friends later, the native men followed her with unstinting devotion. So they were like, oh shit. Yeah, wow. Lord Todd Wadley's conspicuous presence in her life.

He sat on her lap as she tuled around the island on her motorbike, likewise encouraged popular faith in her magical powers. As Somerscale reports, the residents of Whale Key believed the perky little doll to be her witchcraft man, able to discover and disclose their secrets. So they almost saw him as like a little voodoo type. Dahl. With Wadley's help, Castaes made laws and delivered judgments. Adultery and alcohol were banned. She officiated at marriages and births.

She named all the children born on the island. They're all Francis. She established youth camps and attained island miscreants with the help of a private militia, which she had outfitted with uniforms and machetes. Okay. So it doesn't feel, I think when I'm saying I'm not really sure if it's a positive or negative impact, I'm thinking it's largely negative. very culty. It feels a little bit culty, yes.

Writing about the biography written by Kate Somerscale, author Heather Rose Jones says, The description of Castor's dictatorial rule over her people, her people in quotes, are a bit stomach churning. She wanted to help the local people better themselves, but her rhetoric was steeped in racism and paternalistic colonialism. So it's, yeah, it's not good. I'm here to save you all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's firstly, like, brought them to the island to build it, build her, like, fancy mansion. Yeah. They didn't live there previously, and then she's like, I'll make you a little cottage.

And she also sort of owned the general store. So any money they were making and then spending, she's getting it. It's a very, like, cyclical, yes. Pretty dodgy way. Yeah. Joe played host to many guests up at the Great House, where adultery and alcohol, that band was not in effect. Oh, obviously. The House. At the great house

That's barley That's off the limit That's off the limit That's all the recent bookcheet That came out with Casson Hayden We were talking about Playing Tiki and whatever People

Someone's about to tag you Barley No it's actually it's Barley All right now That pole is barley And I'm touching the pole Obviously the drink tab is Barley That means you can't tag me here

You know it comes from Parley I was trying to work it out Yeah Really It comes from Palet It's a pirate thing Barley Bali

Wow Like, anyway, she would throw lavish parties and carry on, much like she did in London, basically. It was kind of like she liked her lifestyle, but it was becoming less, you know, people weren't being as accepting of her lifestyle in London. So she fucked off, made her own island and lived the way she wanted to live. And also, there's less sunsurf and beach in London. What? Oh. So maybe that that would be an appeal.

Obviously you've got the Thames and obviously you've got the sun. And the surf. Of course. But it's just not quite the same as the Bahamas. Not quite. Well, I wish you'd tell me that before I booked a holiday. Don't worry. Having a heat wave.

It'll be fine. Well, I go to Ireland after that. There's plenty of sun and beach and... Apparently, the surf is going off on island. It's going off. Yeah. It's become a new must-go destination for big surfers. Must-go destination.

Must-go. In 1940, the Duke of Windsor, Edward VIII, recently a... appointed governor of the Bahamas, paid an official visit to Whale Key, accompanied by his American wife, the Duchess of Windsor. Joe's lover, one of, one of, Marlene Dietrich, Dietrich, I don't know why I can't say her name. Marlene Dietrich. There, that's a song, yep. A German-American actress visited many times around 1940, but their relationship had always

been a little fiery. When they eventually split up, it was pretty nasty, but I did read that Joe left her a whale key beach in her will. Nile key beach. Nasty breakup, but I've left you part of the beach there. That beach is yours. That's your beach. Wow.

It's kind of nice, I guess. I'm going to leave you a beach that I don't own, but I'll leave you a beach. Yeah, thank you. Cows. I'll fill up a lot. I'll make it one that's like kind of annoying to drive to. So when you want to honour me, which I assume you do, it's an inconvenience.

It's in broom. It's in broom. Enjoy. A string of lovers follow. Castle writes, In her intimate life, Carstairs preferred the sophisticated women she encountered on annual holidays in New York

and the Riviera to local beauties. So she's traveling still all the time. She goes back to London, not super frequently, but she goes back and visits. But she's just got her own little island she lives on it. No alcohol while I'm away. Oh, no.

Cut it out. It's really hard to get a read on how she was perceived for the bulk of her time on Whale Key. On one hand, it sounds corrupt and awful. And then there are other stories where she fought for justice to the local people, so it's very confusing. The Rake writes, as whimsical and self-centered as Castaer's could be, she was also generous. She gave several friends, staff, and deserving strangers, stipends for life.

On Whale Key, she founded the Colored League of Youth, a project to improve Bahamian's economic and social standing. During the Second World War, she led an intrepid rescue mission. The U.S. ship Potlatch was torpedoed. Castaer set off in a schooner in the dead of night without lights in water where U-boat skulked. 350 miles from Nassau she turned on her lights and rescued 47 American sailors who were close to death. They'd been drifting for 30 days on an overturned schooner. Oh my gosh. Castaer said typically that only when she put the sailors ashore at Nassau did they realize she was not a young man but a woman of 42.

We thought that what's this schoolboy doing out here? What's this well-fed schoolboy? Thank you, schoolboy. She's exuberant schoolboy. So you're kind of like, oh, okay, yeah. But that's very heroic. Very heroic. And obviously she's great.

She's very comfortable on the sea. Yes. So what were the, were they white people she was saving? Yeah, probably, yep. Okay, well, you know, I don't know if that gives us a definitive answer on the racism. No, no, no, no. If we don't have one already. Yeah, I think, um, yeah.

Paternal is such an interesting way to talk. She's got, yeah, slightly racist and paternal way of looking after her people. Yeah. Oh, they children? No, no, full adults. She really saw herself as like a queen as like a royal, a royal member of this island that she created. So she saw them, I suppose. That's how queens come about, isn't it?

Really? Kings and queens, they just go. I'm kicking now. You, mine. Report to me. As the years wore on, Castors began to retreat more and more into reclusive eccentricity. And Lord Todd Wadley's exploits became more and more grandiose. Castle writes, in the 60s, Casteers claimed that Wadley had known Jack Kennedy. Brackett's a quote from her, they were in the Bay of Pigs together. He had a tremendous liking for him.

And that's where that quote you don't. know Jack comes from. That's right. Someone addressing Lord Todd Wadley. That's correct. You don't know Jack. I had. We were in the Bay of Piz together. I certainly do. Wadley had also been an astronaut and had had numerous wives, mistresses and children.

Wow, good on you, Todd. Good on you, Todd. I want to hear a bad word about Todd. Funnily enough, even when you're insanely wealthy and think you can do just anything you want, when you call yourself the boss of an island, but rule in a kind of gross way, eventually people don't like you. Jones writes by the 1960s her rule on whale key was being challenged by the black residents who were increasingly disinclined to behave like subjects.

So in 1975, she sold the island for a million dollars and moved to Miami. Okay. She was just kind of like, you guys are hush in my buzz. You're all like, respect us, treat us kindly. Let us be in charge of our own island. And I'm like, I'm going to go by Miami. Yeah, so she just sells the island, goes to Miami.

She split her time between Miami and Long Island. And she was like, they say that she spent her time writing checks for obscure philanthropic causes and tending to Wadley and his friends and associates, who were a vast army of dolls and stuffed animals given to her over the years by various girlfriends. So now Todd Wadley has such a busy social life. She's like, I am booked and busy. It's full time. It's full time managing his social calendar.

Yet all good things must come to an end, and Joe Castorz died in 1993 at the age of 93. She was born in 1900. That's easy to remember. Isn't that impressive? Isn't that fun? You two were alive for her. I got in the year I was life for her.

I was there for many parts of this story. Did you ever go to one of the parties at the way of key? Yes. I remember telling her, you must put on a frock. And as a feminist, I was there to look after her. I said, ladies wear dresses, darling. Yes. And, you know, when she went and put it on, I was, and this isn't another statement, mortified.

She had to choose. Ew, how terribly unladylike. It's terribly unladylike. And then she sat with her legs uncrossed. Oh, dearie me. Could have. She had for lunch. This is what I've drawn her as in that scene.

Matt's been doodling this whole time, but it does actually help him concentrate. Oh, yeah, great. Oh, there's Todd too. There's the castle. Is that Terry's Castle? That's Terry Castle. Yeah, there's a little Todd.

There's a sail the boat, yes. A rich man who says, I'll be having a nose. Oh, my God. This is amazing. We might have to, it's taken us 10 years, but we finally found a way to get Matt to understand a story. Well, this is how we started off. We would all have notepads in the early days,

and I'd forgotten about that, and I'm bringing it back. Idle, grandma, 1920s. A turn from notes to doodles pretty quickly. Yeah. 1921. Evelyn died. That's correct. Fourth husband, Serge Vonanov.

That's correct. A surgeon. Age 4 to 5. The camel threw her. Oh my God. We finally got through to him. Yeah. And you've got the monkey testicle stuff, they're very important.

You've got Terry Castle, who's someone who's writing about a biography written by somebody else. So, yes, she has, she does, she did die in 1993. And the doll, Lord Todd Wadley, was cremated with her. Oh, okay. Just like he would have wanted. Oh, God, I'm on fire! Yeah, geez. He could have lived forever.

Nope, got to go out with her. And her ashes and those of Ruth Baldwin were, buried in Oakland Cemetery in Sag Harbor, New York. So buried with Ruth as well, which is kind of nice. Together forever. So. Sorry, was Ruth also cremated? I believe so.

Was Ruth alive at the time? Ruth died, I think, in like the late 30s or something. Ruth, congratulations, you're in my will. And when I die, it's you, me and Todd. We're all going together. We're all going together. Arrow sort of stuff. Yeah.

So just to finish, the other topics I put up the vote were the first American woman in space, the first openly gay elected official in California, a bi-woman of color who inspired Elvis and Johnny Cash, a World War II badass and queer icon. And all of those stories would have been amazing.

But Leah, who suggested the topic, wrote, she was an extremely rich, renowned queer lady who had flings with Hollywood stars and weirdly owned a puppet she kind of treated like a real person. I think she was kidding, but they got cremated together, which is weird. And that is what pushed this topic to get nearly 40

percent of the vote. That is a great pitch. It's a great pitch. When we do the vote, we often copy and paste the pitch from the hat. Yep. So if you really want your topic to be to be picked, one, to peak our interest, and then two, for the Patreon people to vote for it, it does help to have a great, great sell. Absolutely. And yeah, one person has suggested this topic. It's been on my list for a little while of like a topic I'd kind of like to do. I think I've put it up for the vote before. But yeah, it's pretty fun. And I said this to the to the patrons in the post I made that I was like, I'm looking for something that's sort of light, not necessarily, it doesn't have to be lighthearted, but a bit more uplifting, a bit more celebratory of queer history. But what we've ended up with,

which is a very fun story, is an incredibly wealthy, eccentric, probably racist. You would describe it as an interesting life. Yes, that's right. Yes, a varied life, which you can do when you're obscenely wealthy. You can have five different stages, like careers of your life. I love that you could break it down into like periods of what she was up to. Okay, so this is during the war, immediately after the war, then she gets into boat racing. She's a boat person. Between that, she was a car person. Then she was a boat driver. Then she was a tropical island person. Yeah. She went into her private island era. Her private island era. Yeah, it's really, honestly, it makes a good topic. Um, Google her, if you like, Matt and have a look at her.

Here's Joe. I'm showing Dave a picture of Joe and little Todd Wadley sitting on her shoulder. Joe, sorry, Todd is as creepy as I'd hoped. Uh-huh. Yes. And there's her tattoos. Oh, you've got the tats. She's got a star on her bicep and a dragon on her forearm. I mean, she is doing the footy pose and making her own biceps look bigger,

but she does look like she's pretty strong. Yeah, she sees us. Oh, Todd Wadley is horrifying. Yes. He's a bit like, uh... It was sick. It looks a bit like... I mean, yeah, you were saying that she was, like, dressed by...

Yeah. Very expensive. Luxury brands. Yes. You can tell. Tailored clothes, so they all, like, fit her well. Yeah, she's an interesting character. And, yeah, I guess, like, there's, you know, there's lots to be said about her.

But I do like the idea of someone just living very unapologetically as themselves, especially at a time like the 20s or, you know, like the early. 1900s where it was like not acceptable. And it's still, you know, it's still really hard in lots of different places. Yeah, very interesting. An interesting person. True equality is when we can, you know, is when you can also be called out as being a real weird cunk. That's true equality.

I'm just looking up, as I did last week, just a few topics on a vaguely similar. area, and I guess because it's Pride Month. I just looked up in our back catalogue, just the letters, LGB&T, and these ones came up. Episode 116, Friedrich-Calo. Yep. Episode 343, the Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea.

Oh, yeah. Which was, yeah, that was sort of an Australian island that was taken over as a sort of a protest for, equality in Australia and probably is it one of the biggest topics of certainly recent gay and lesbian LGBTIQ plus history the Stonewall Rites was episode 368 interestingly when I add an eye to LGBT some of those go away and it's only Frito remains interesting isn't that interesting that's so interesting can I just read you something as well quickly.

Sure. This is from an article on Vice from August 2013. Several years ago, the magician David Copperfield issued a press release stating he discovered the fountain of youth on his private island in the Bahamas. What are the chances? It's on his island. We found this liquid that in its simple stages can actually do miraculous things. You can take dead leaves and they come into contact with the water.

They become full of life again. Bugs or insects that are near death come in contact with the water. water, they fly away. It's an amazing thing, very exciting. Um, yeah. That was 20, when was that published? That was published in 2013, but, uh, no update since. Well, it was a press release from earlier again. Yeah. His hair remains black. Yeah. So he's obviously working. It's onto something. It's the only, you put a dead leap in this thing and it like comes to light, a full tree grows. That's crazy. That's amazing. What a bug touches the water, then flies away. Yes.

What are the, I've never seen that. Wow. Usually they get sucked down into it. It's the bug playing dead, obviously, because it's scared, shitless of David Copperfield. Or it's just thirsty. And then they put it in water and they went, oh, great. Now I'm hydrated. Off I go.

Well, I can't wait. I can't wait to buy a bottle whenever he's ready. These things take time, obviously. Well, we might be able to get our own bottle a little sooner than that because I've just looked at Whale Key Island in the Bahamas. Yeah. Because I wanted to see where it was. It's actually not that far from Nassau, the capital.

And it is currently forced. sale. Okay. Well, Joe got it for 40 grand. I reckon we could scrounge around and get something similar. I could do a crowdfunding or something. We can do a crowd fund. It's 565 acres, so it is quite large, and the roads and stuff seem to remain on there.

Maybe a little bit of an airstrip even. And it is currently on sale for $19,995,000 US dollars from Sotheby's Realty. She should have held on to it. $20 million island. Should have held onto it. But it says five bedroom. on it. Yeah, I can't see...

What do you mean? How does an island have five bedrooms? That's not enough bedrooms. For 20 mill, I want more than five bedrooms. Sorry. They don't show any photos. I'd like to have more than four friends come and stay. Yes, it's year-built 1940, but it doesn't say.

Six full bathrooms, five bedrooms. Features, water view, waterfront. No shit, it's an island. Yeah, but are you buying the island or is it... Is it, yeah, the house. What is this? They've classified it as entire island. You get in the whole island.

Property type, private island. Wow. 20 mil. Interesting. But that was a fascinating story and, yes, like I said, an interesting eccentric life to say the least. Absolutely. But yeah, the thing, getting cremated and buried with her doll was really what pushed people over the line. And that's good stuff.

But yeah, one person suggested that. And there are thousands of suggestions in the hat. So if you want to suggest a topic, or, this has made you think of another eccentric character or another queer icon or just another person that's interesting, suggest the topic. We want to, yeah, put him in there. Queer icon for the straight guy icon. Is that anything? Yep, that is everything.

Still thinking. I think I need to leave on that sort of high note. I agree. I'm not going to talk again. I'll be sitting here for the rest of the episode, but I will not speak a word. So seeing as Matt will not be speaking for the rest of the time, but is definitely still here. He's just silent. He's just silent.

and you know what, I relish in it. It's a nice change. No, no, no, no. Don't speak, please. I guess that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show. Welcome to people who have skipped just to this, their favourite section. I think they missed a good episode this week. I agree.

And I, you know, I feel a bit gross saying that because it was my report, but I agree. It's absolutely the case. See, it's not arrogance. It's just the truth. It's reality. Yeah, I'm just calling it like it is. Exactly. But welcome, feel free to go back and listen whenever you're ready.

but this is a little section of the show where we like to celebrate, raise up, and thank some of our fantastic listeners who make this show possible. The way we're sitting next to each other now, and it is just the two of us, obviously Matt's still here, but quietly, it feels like we are commentators on a...

Do you know what I mean? And really, it's just a great time to thank a bunch of our listeners, isn't that right, Dave? Absolutely, thank you so much, Jessica Perkins. before we think I listen maybe we have a quick message from our sponsors Do you think we could be, I think we'd be pretty good on like a morning news show type vibe

Where you get the balance of journalism and humour Yeah, sometimes quite serious No smiles, no laughs Other times it's puppies He's a little funny thing of Oh, a dog escaped this week And I had the whole bloody town in southern Texas chasing it, here's a bit of the footage

As the woman I go That's fun And that's about all I contribute Which is actually kind of true on our pod. Except sometimes you give fantastic reports. Whoa. Sometimes.

Once a year and it was this episode. Was fishing for that. So the first thing we like to do in this section of the show is a little thing called fact, quote or question, where people get to give us facts, quotes, questions, brag, suggestions, really anything they want. And we read them and we answer them. And I think this section has a little jingle. Yes.

And does it go a little something like this? Fact quote or questions. That was a really beautiful ding. He always remembers the ding. I always remember the sing. Absolutely. And these are people who've gone to patreon.com slash do go on pod, where you can sign up on this level or some other ones,

and you'll get things including voting for topics like this one. You get bonus episodes. There's over 300. I was uploading this week's bonus episode. I think we're up to 315. Wow. Yeah, it's amazing. And 560.

I know. Nearing the thousand total. We have to pay attention to what. what becomes the 1000th. Okay. And then do something for it. Yeah. It's coming up soon because we basically,

there's a new Patreon episode every Sunday. Yeah. So there's... Coming up quick. Yeah. As well as you can hear about live shows before anyone else, get discounts, be part of the Facebook group.

And of course, if you're on the Sydney-Schenberg's Deluxe Memorial Package Rest in Peace Level like these people are, you get to submit, like you said, a factor quote or a question, and Jess, how many have we got today?

We've got three. You also get to give yourself for title. So our first fact, quote, a question comes from Mark Schmidt, who's given themselves the title, Professor of Poutine. Oh. And Mark's giving us a recommendation. Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited to try Poutine in Canada, which we should mention again, we're going in September. Yes, please come along. So Marcus says, your Canadian tour inspired me to give some Montreal Poutine Rex. The proper, how do you say that? Quebec. A quibroir. I think. I reckon you nailed that. pronunciation is

Putin, puttin, stress last syllable. Putsin. Oh really? Maybe. Okay, that's good. If you pronounce it, Poutine, you'll sound like an

Ontarian. Oh, no, thank you. Unless... Or what if we sound like ignorant Australian tourists? Yeah. Is that bad? Have you got any of them

gravy chips? Yeah, yeah. Mate, but you got any of those bloody gravy chips? Got gravy chips? I love gravy chips. I love cheese curd. More curd.

Sites, sites will recommend La Banquise. I'm saying this wrong. I should be, but, you know, really I should read it like Matt because it's usually him. La Banquit. Oh, that's beautiful. It's probably still wrong, but I've said it confidently. While fine, it's a tourist trap.

Better spots are patati patata. Oh my God, that's a fucking amazing name. Shea Claudette and La Patataria. Any bell province will nail it. But if you really want to treat the Portuguese, Putin, I'm sorry, I'm saying it like an Ontario. Pustine or something. Poutine.

Portuguese Poutine from Mapul Muli. I hate you, I think, Mark. I know, this is great suggestions. If you know, you know. You should be reading this because your French is significantly better than anyone else's. A thousand plus days on Duralingo just doesn't lie. It's kind of like we go to me for Irish words. We go to Matt for fake French or 80s references.

Yeah, we're mostly commercials. We go to you for French. The most authentic way to eat putteen is at a cassetre crew. Is that true? Which is like a roadside shack. Not in the city, but if you're planning to drive to Toronto and I said Toronto. I noticed. Did you notice?

Yeah. Thank you so much. Because you don't say the T's. It's Toronto. Toronto. I mean, that's... We're adapting here, people. It's crazy.

I can recommend some real casset cruis. on the way, on the A-20. Important. Have Poutine in Quebec. There's a perception. It's a Canadian dish, but this is very contentious in Quebec. We have a very unique culture apart from Canada, and there have been attempts to secede.

We're very protective of Poutine as a cultural icon. Imagine telling an Italian person that Carbonara is a European dish. While technically true, you'll still end up with a P-O'd Italian. Also, they often screw up the recipe. if you ever get a protein with grated cheese, toss it back and yell a French phrase, I won't try. Where does it say this? Esty de calise. I have no idea.

Bonus wreck for Dave, you should try to get your hands on a, ooh, a tutier meat pie from a butcher. A few people have said this, yeah, absolutely. A jaunté, tortier. God, I've got to work on my French. But also, before we go to Canada, I'm doing four. weeks around Europe. So I've got a few languages I need to brush up on a little bit. So I think that'll be fun. Yeah, great. So once I'm back from Europe, I've got three weeks to learn French and I think that should be fine. Great, 21 days and dueling, you'll be fine.

Can't be hard. Matt, can you please shout out the following word at maximum French-Canadian gusto? Tabanaq! P.S. I'll be testing your Poutine pronunciation at the merch booth. Oh, okay. Well, that's, that's terrifying. Yeah, we might need a bit of help there, but thank you for that, Mark. Thanks to all those wrecks. Unfortunately, we are going to be flying from Montreal to Toronto because the shows are back-to-back one Saturday and one Sunday. So we won't be able to drive along and get maybe the real outside of the city authentic one you're saying there. But those were great recommendations and those all those, there's a place to sound fantastic.

So good. Thank you so much for that. Appreciate that. Next up we have Nicholas Hall. Nicholas has given themselves the title, official commandant of the do-go-on special police. A dougoon, if you will. Oh, this is a command-donde. Commandant.

Commandant. Oh, that sounds like a French word. In my defence, I've just spent what, an hour and a half talking? Exactly. What do you people expect from me? Another 20 minutes? I simply must go home. I'm exhausted.

I must rest for the next seven days. You should see me getting home on a Thursday night. I'm the most pathetic little husk. This is crawling up the stairs. I get home before I'd. I leave after him. I get home. home before him.

And he does it five days ago, you come here one. He gets home and I'm in the fetal position on the bed and he gets, oh, how was your day? I said, it was good. I'm just very tired. And then he goes and makes dinner and brings it to me. And I go, oh, I can't do a thing. I've been exhausted. I just talked about Joe Castes for 90 minutes.

Isn't that insane? And now I can't say commandant. I couldn't say any of the French either. I'm feeling really confident in my speaking ability right now. Confident. Confident. That was really good. Thank you.

So, Nicholas is giving us a fact. Okay, we love a fact. Saying hello, gang, long-time listener, first-time writer. Welcome. Have been with y'all since the Shakespeare episode and been meaning to upgrade to the Shrineberg tier for a bit now. When I listened to your episode on Stephen King, I figured now would be a perfect time since you mentioned

Estes Park, Colorado. Why, you may ask? Well, my uncle happens to be the mayor of Estes Park. Am I saying it right? sure. And his name, Gary. Mayor Gary. And then he said, Mayer. In brackets, they say, hope Matt will get a kick out of that. But Matt is getting a kick out of it.

He's giving us two thumbs up. He's loving that fact. Cheers, mates, and keep up the good work. That is a delightful fact. Thank you for that. Nicholas. Very excited to find out that we're going to Kelgarry. Calgary. Can I wait to get the Calgary. But your... So was it the uncle is the mayor? Yeah.

Uncle is the mayor. Meier and his name is Gary. Are we thinking it's a human uncle? Because I do have a habit of electing dogs, cats, pigs, that kind of thing. Yeah, I'm thinking pig called Gary. A Gary pig. Yeah, that's awesome. I choose to believe.

And finally, we have got a fact quota question from Jordan. How do we usually say Jordan's last name there? Nassah? Nassi. I think Matt says Nassi, but I can't trust anything that comes out of that nose mouth. Yeah. Unless, sit with a French accent, then, you know what's right. Jordan Nassau. Oh, that's beautiful.

And... So people are not watching the video on Patreon because of course there's the ad-free and video feed. Just did do the hand, which Matt also does to help. And it really worked. And like when I did the hand, I felt like I had a mustache. Did you get that vibe as well? You were flicking it out here.

Yeah, it's like a real curly, yeah. Fascinating. Jordan's given themselves the title, Artilus Numion. Okay. We'll see if that makes sense. and a fact. Oh, there we go. My title is a Warhammer 40K deep slash shallow cut.

Deep if you don't know much about Warhammer or don't like the salamanders. Shallow if you like the salamanders and the horace hearsay. Here heresy. Fuck. Wow, that was longer than I expected. And then they continue. So that's interesting. Anyways, a while ago, you all were talking about Warhammer.

So as a reward for that, I thought I'd give you some of the names of illnesses in Warhammer. Some of them are pretty silly. death's breath Okay, I don't want that When you got really bad breath You got a bit of death's breath I actually came home Maybe three weeks ago

From the pod And we'd gone to the same sandwich place We had lunch out today But it had like a garlic key thing in it I got home and my wife I immediately told me Your breath smells terrible And I felt sorry for both of you

And Matt having to be in this room with me You were probably closer in proximity To her than you usually are with us If that makes you feel like that But that was quite an intimate session the podcast was very close that day we put the mic we shared a mic there's five in this studio

yeah and we thought one will do yeah um death's breath so you had that last week yeah sorry flaming vomit oh that was the week before yeah a galloping consumption oh that sounds nice

this feels like it's come from a generator yes this is really this is a Jess Perkins generator for sure glorious corruption okay that's that feels good I have that one sign us up Purple brain fever I think I like that better than

migraine. Yeah, you take purple brain fever. I'm having a little purple blind. Purple brain flare up. Yeah. Stench foot fever. You don't want that. Galloping trots.

Oh, that's diarrhea. Oh, you got the trots. That's diarrhea. I've got the trots. Sorry, I'm like, boys, I've had a case of the trots. Don't tell us. That's all for now, cuties. Have a lovely day.

How do you know I'm particularly cute today? Thank you, Jordan. Thank you, Nicholas. Thank you, Mark. The next thing we like to do is shout out to people who support us on the shoutout level or above. Absolutely. That is correct. See how I figured it out. And we usually shout out where they're from.

But Jess often comes up with a game. Yes. So I'm thinking all of these people are multi, multi, multi, multi millionaires. I assume they are to be supporting us. So beautiful to support the art. That's how we're multi, multi, multi millionaires. And so I'm thinking like what they've, what eccentric thing they've splurged their money.

Rather than a speedboat or an island. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Thinking of things. Just think of outlandish things, expensive things. Okay.

Not right now. Okay. A really big boat. No, damn, okay. Do you want to go one for one? Let's go one for one. And then do we do the place, the person and the object? Yeah, I reckon.

Okay. Oh. Or do we sort of... I'll do the... Yeah, well, Aleup. I'm so unsported, couldn't think of the term. I'll read the first name and you can come up with something. Yes, please.

Okay, so first up from Berlin in Germany. Thank you so much to Janik Rausch. Yannik Rausch has just installed the world's largest chandelier. Ooh. How many crystals we're talking? 600,000. And it is big enough to hang from that chandelier and scream sea style. Fuck, yeah.

That's what you want. There's actually a permanent sort of... Like a swing. Yeah, like this type of thing, but you could at any time strap yourself to this chandelier and have a swing. And I think once that's activated,

that song plays. It has too. But at the chorus. What a swing! Just that. And then you can feel really powerful. That's awesome. Yannick, great use of your money.

Yeah, exactly. Don't feed the poor. Get a big chandelier. Also, all of these multi, multi, multi, multi millionaires are like very ethical ones. Oh, of course. They've spent most of their money

on philanthropy and changing the world. Yes. But at the same time, you deserve a little reward because you've worked hard. Yes, and they pay all their taxes. Correct. And a lot. They pay a lot. They don't like get their account to work out of a way, but they pay somehow minus tax.

Yes. Yeah. Next time, I would like to think from a location that is unknown to us. They haven't given us their address. We don't know where they're listening from, possibly the fortress of the malls right now. And that is 349 or 349 forgotten. And they have just secured in an auction the world's largest diamond. It's the size of a watermelon

It's huge That is so big What are they going to do with it? Put it in a case And probably in the middle of the dining table That's really good They might drill a hole in and put some flowers in it Use it as a vase

That is so nice I think that's really nice Yeah that seems like a good use I agree Next up from Denver, Colorado in the US Thank you to Zachary Smith Zachary Smith has just purchased The World's Most Accurate

Accurate Acuate and accurate replica painting of the Mona Lisa Obviously the live's not going to sell the real thing But this thing is basically it You know what I mean And you don't have to like Wait in a group of 400 people

Yeah to get close to a tone Also this one's way bigger Perfect because it's quite small This one's like the size of the wall of a big house But it's accurate as well Yeah nice It took a team of 200 artists to create it Yeah most of them were hype men and women

Fair cheering them on Yeah, I think I'd be good at that role. Yeah. No. Oh, yellow. I didn't even know that was in the palette. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd be great at that kind of role over a short-ish term.

For example, if someone was reading out names for a certain trip to club, someone was doing a dog shit. Right. And you can amp them up for five to seven names. No, so what I'm thinking more is that, like, we've worked together for 10 years and I just cannot be nice to you now, no matter how hard I try. Yeah. Whereas, like, in other workplaces, I can put more. of a mask up. Oh, of course, especially in the first couple of years there.

Exactly. So I think, give me a couple of years and I can be like, wow, great job. And then 10 years in, I'm like, kill yourself, you know. I'm the manager now. So I just think that's interesting. So what I'm saying is those hype people are also very important members of the team. That's lovely. And it's a tough gig that not all of us can do.

Next time I would like to thank from Thornbury right here in Melbourne. Thank you to Leah. Leah. Leah just bought the world's smallest and rarest frog. Really? Yeah. How small is it? Like, imagine it's like sitting on my pinky now.

Oh my God. And we even still have to be like... Is that it? Yeah. It's like teeny tiny. It's so cute. Like when you look at it through a microscope, it's like it looks like an animated Disney frog. Like the eyes to face ratio is, is...

completely off, but in a really cute way. It's the cutest fucking frog. It was actually a really good purchase from Leah. That's really good. And this way at least she can ensure that it's safe. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Because it's like anybody could step on it. Oh shit, where is it?

Oh no. Yeah. It's so cute. You're a conservationist. Just put it in like a, in like for it, a gigantic kind of enclosure. But the walls of the enclosure are made of like a magnifying glass. So you as a viewer can actually see the frog. That's really smart.

It's super cute. Leah invited me over to check out the frog and it was awesome. I'd love to get an invite someday. I think it's a bit desperate. Yeah. I know it is. Next up from Perth in Western Australia. I would love to thank Joe Button.

Joe Button has just bought his entire family, extended family. This is like a family reunion. And he got everyone, he secretly got his dentists to measure their teeth. And they've all got rapper-style gold grills. Fuck it. Like real gold. Proper gold. We're talking like 70 to 80 people if they turn up.

Wow. If you don't turn up, you don't get your grills. You don't get your grills. He takes the grills back and melts them back down. Wow. So you'd be spewing, you'd be like, I can't be bothered hanging out with that weird uncle. Well, it's worth it. What kind of carrot we're talking?

A 24. Four. Yeah. So is that soft or really hard? Hard, I think. Yeah, yeah, let's say that. Or is it the other way around? I can't remember.

Because I think you don't make jewelry with... But maybe you. Maybe this is, like this is not practical. It's about, oh yeah, it's about. Everyone, it's about the group photo. Like, this group photo just cost him $2 million. That's right. And then after you can do whatever you want with it.

So 24-carat, uh, malleable and can bend or scratch easily. Perfect for your mouth. Perfect. Absolutely. Just what you want. You look over and your, your cousin Rodney's like eating ribs with it with a minute. Whoa, Rodney. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's 50 grand of gold over there. Baby, baby. Let's chill out a little. I think I only know that because my ring is 18 and somebody said, oh, you probably, that's going to scratch. And I said, oh, no, anyway, but it's too late. Do you want to thank someone?

Yes, I'd like to thank from Bothel. Bottle. Well, they probably, is this from America, so they probably say Bothel. Probably. In Washington. Or Bofel. Bofel. You never know.

It's Jesse Wheeler. Jesse Wheeler, just bought, funnily enough. And I think it's nominative determinism. an entire fleet of 18 wheeler trucks. Really? But... An entire fleet. Yeah.

Wow. 20 of them. I don't know how many those. It sounds like a lot. 20. Yeah. And they've lined them all up and sort of attached them like it's all in one and built like a really cool house inside it.

That's all. How long is that? Really long. It's one really long house. That's really cool. Basically every, no, because then they've parked them around in like a big circle. Yeah. And then in the middle of the circles, like a grotto pool and like cool outdoor areas and stuff.

But basically each of the 20 trucks is a different room. So one's a cinema. Yeah. Like eight of them are bedrooms. Yeah, I love it. It's pretty sick. But you've got to walk through the bedrooms to get to the house. So that's a bit annoying.

And it usually goes like bedroom bathroom, bedroom bathroom stuff. Yeah. Great. But every other has always been a walkway as well. That's right. That's a great use of space. So you've got to lock two doors just to make sure you don't get walked in on. But that's the thing.

When you're that wealthy, you're eccentric. Yeah. Know what I mean? Hey, good on you. Jesse Wheeler. I think that's a really cool idea, Jesse. That's really cool. Jesse, obviously.

That's really good. If you're an eccentric millionaire, sometimes you sort of break them old, I guess. I think it's really cool. Next up from Astoria in New York, in the US, it is Maya Wise. Maya Wise has started to,

I was saying Maya wife. Maya Life. Maya Wise is, I'm sure you've got that before. I'm so sorry. as decided to commute exclusively in a hot air balloon, which if you know, you can't steer them. You go by the wind. So that means wherever Maya ends up,

a plane has to come and pick them up as well. It's a very efficient way to travel. Or a helicopter. Like, that's how confident you are you get somewhere. I'll still, the hot air balloon might get me there, but if it goes in the wrong way, don't worry, I've got a helicopter as well. That's sick, actually. I think that's really cool.

I'd love to hot air balloon to work. I'd love it. Try and crash onto Sydney Road here. Easy. Yeah, just drop it out here. Yeah, right here, right here. Next up, I'd like to thank from a location that is unknown to us, probably, yeah, with 349 in the fortress of the moles right now.

It's Bree with a BRAA, so you know who you are. Bree has just purchased the fortress of the malls. Whoa! Yeah, we didn't know it was up for sale. It was like off market. Yeah. You know, when you're like rich, people have access to a database that us plebs don't know about. 100%.

It's a buyer's advocate. Yeah. They see all those off-market properties. Then they only go to people, you know, like you set your limit as 15 million plus properties. Yeah, yeah. They're not letting me inspect that. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you ever tried to go and inspect like a multi-million dollar? Yes, I actually have because there's this like lovely garden near me that I wanted to see. Like, what are the houses that go on, that back onto this park actually go for? You know what I'm talking about. Yes, I do. And I went to it. And it was one of those ones.

ones where it was millions and millions of dollars because of the location, but the old grandparents who lived there had not kept it up. So it was kind of like a crumbling mansion. So it was fascinating. And then I was like, huh, my bathroom is better than this bathroom. And their house costs 20 times. Yep. It's insane. There's a, there's a street near us that we walk down all the time, walking the dog, getting a coffee, and I have my favorite house on that street because I just think it's really beautiful. And it's for sale. And like, I'm looking at the, inside, because I've noticed seen the inside, obviously, and I'm looking at it, I'm like, okay, I don't love that. Like, it just felt very clinical and very, like, modern.

Isn't that disappointing when you're like, I can imagine? Look it up, five to six mil? I'm like, and then you have to redo it to make it to your taste. Yeah, and then I'm like, and then how do I give it life? Because it just felt very cold. I was like, could we put some plants in or something? Anyway, I'll show you when we're finished. I'm really sad to see that. Is it me? I'm a show it. Yes. Thank you so much, Congrats on buying The Fortress of the Moles and also add some plants. Madison, in Madison, Wisconsin, it's Timothy Hansel.

Timothy Hansel has just spent a fortune, and I'm in a fortune because some people held out on this to buy every single copy of Fight Club and Blu-ray. Every single copy. Because the last person who had the only other one, they could name their price. Yeah, absolutely. Timothy had to pay. Wow. I hope they extorted him.

Yeah, he paid over 100 grand for the last copy of Fight Club and Blu-Roe. I just recently did a big cull of, like, I'm doing a lot of spring cleaning and I emptied out this entertainment unit we have of, and it was filled with DVDs. And I was like, I didn't know we had these. We've lived in this building in this apartment for six years and I've never watched a DVD. I think some can go. I've kept some. Time to go. Yeah, the classics figure, I'd love to watch Black Books again. That's one I've kept. I literally have the Black Books box set. It's so good. But I don't have a way to play it anymore. Yeah. There was also a DVD player in there. I was like, We have a DVD player?

That's gone. But there's a part of me that's like some of these might be collectors. You know, vinyl's come back and is really cool. Yeah, eccentric people like Timothy might come out and try and buy every single box set of blackbooks out there. Hey, I've got one for you. So thank you to Timothy, Brie, Maya, Jesse, Joe, Leah, Zachary, 349 Forgotten and Yannick. The next thing we need to do is welcome some people into the Triptitch Club. Dave, do you want to explain what the Tripditch Club is?

Yes, this is our clubhouse, our Hall of Fame. a hangout zone for people who have been on the shoutout level or above on Patreon for three consecutive years. So we've given them a shoutout, given them something a few years ago, but to thank them and enshrine them forever, put their name up on the wall. We welcome them into this theater of the mind style clubhouse. Once you're in, you can never leave. But why would you want to leave? Because let's not forget, we've got food, drinks, entertainment, pinballs.

We've got clowns. We've got magic shows. Yep, sometimes. Yeah, David Copperfield. killed's dropped by before. Yeah. It was not good. I know, but he's looking good, though.

Oh, he looks fantastic. Because he doesn't need to be good at magic anymore because he's got the founding of youth. That's right. He used to have something to live, you know, to live for. Now. He's to live forever. Whatever. Good on you, David.

I'm behind the bar. Yes. What have you prepared? I've got caviar and what's fancy food? Baluga caviar. Definitely lots of caviar. Really, really expensive hams. Very expensive.

The finest hands. Lobster. Lobster. That's one. Yes, yes, yes. A chef from Voudamond. The chef from Vudamond. And the best champagne.

Oh, from the Champagne region. Really? The good stuff. The real stuff. Don't tell me. Because, of course, we're all very wealthy this week. And so, Dave, you also usually book a band.

Oh, my goodness. You're never going to believe it. You're never going to believe this week. Why? I couldn't believe when you brought up the title. I thought, that actually rings a bell that I remember it. I ringed bell from my email that I just got this morning from the manager of the cars. Oh, fantastic.

They're here, the 70s, New Wave American rock band. Very, very exciting to see the cars. Played some of their classic tracks like. Drive. Classic for a car. Yeah, absolutely. Drive and just what I needed. Two of their bigger tracks.

I can't wait for them to take the stage. David Obam sold 6 million copies. That's so many. That's crazy. Well done. Well done, guys, and they're going to be hitting the stage any moment now. But before we do that, we need to see if there's any new inductees this week. There are a few.

There are one, two, three, four, five, six this week, Dave. So how this works is usually Matt reads out the names, but he's on a valve of silence right now. So I'll read out the names. Dave hipes them up. I hype Dave up. And there's no negative energy here this week because Matt is still watching us, but no microphone. He's watching us quietly. So are you ready?

I'll read out some names you'll hype them up. Are you in the right kind of hype mood? Let me go. And yes. Okay, here we go. First up from Billings in M.T. is that Massachusetts? No, it'll be one of the others.

It is Montana. Montana, Billings, Montana. It's Ace Andrews. It's the Ace of Andrews. You know, Ace of Aces. Yeah, I love it. Now, from... You say Ace of Base?

Sure. That's pretty good, too. From Durham, North Carolina. It's Nicky. Things were looking tricky. You know, I was thinking of canceling tonight. And then I saw Nicky. Oh, next up from Noseley in Great Britain, it's Rebecca.

I'll remove over the cars. I bring in the Rebecca. Oh, fuck. That's so good. We only need one, actually. Just the Rebecca. That's really good. From Preston, Victoria, it's Tessa Tribe.

Hey, please join my Tessa. And my tribe. Ooh, from Woodbridge in New Jersey, it's Catherine, Pelugia. Nope, Pagluccia. Nope. Pagglucia. Pagliuka. Pagliuka.

I was trying to read multiple things at once, and that does not work. I think you've, with your pronunciation there, you've, Pagli-Snookered just there. Woo. Thank you, Catherine. Sorry. And from location unknown, deeper than the fortress of the moles, it's Hannah Gregory. Some people like to throw a spanner in the works. I like to throw a Hannah in the works.

Oh, get her in there. So you have the ultimate hype artist. Let me say that you're an artist. It's a baritist in short bursts. Thank you. So, yeah, now I'm done. I'm wiped out. Yeah, then you're going to crawl out the stairs.

I know. I'm so glad we have another episode to record right now. Thank you to Hannah, Catherine, Tessa, Rebecca, Nikki and Ace. Very, very exciting. Now, we're going to quickly check if we've got anyone to induct into the Triple Trip Drip Ditch Club where people have been on the shadow level of 10 years or more. No, no one this week. So thank you very much to the people that are already in the exclusive Golden Lounge.

Welcome, please. Enjoy. Just, yeah, wave at us. Take a load off. I think we're not even allowed in there. No, no, no, no. And I've tried. Oh, yeah.

She's desperate to get in there. I'm like, come in there. But let's just bring us to the end of the episode, just is there anything else we need to tell, the beautiful people either watching on Patreon or listening at home? That we love them, that we would love your suggestions. Like I was saying at the end of this episode, if there's other people that you would like to hear this story about,

get in touch, put it in the Jack, the Hat, McVitty. There's a link in the show notes, or it's also on our website, which is do-go-onpod.com, and you can find us on social media at do-go-on-pod or do-go-on podcast on TikTok. Over to you, Dave. Hey, I should mention that we've got Matt Stewart's, who knew it with Matt Stewart,

200th episode coming up very, very soon on Saturday, June the 27th, here in Melbourne at Basement Comedy Club. I'll be a guest, Jess will be a guest, Matt will be your host, and you can be the audience. Big Wet, Mitch Mitch Wittrop's going to be there as well. And then also there's an undisclosed fourth guest. Exciting. So that's very, very, very.

exciting do go on pod.com for tickets to that and also to our upcoming canadian tour but apart from that jess will say thank you to you and to you and everyone at home thank you so much and goodbye bye don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there wherever we go we always hear six months later oh you should come to manchester we were just in manchester but this way you'll never will never miss out And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you also know that we're coming to you.

Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.