Do Go On - 561 - John Titor: Time Traveller

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

In 1998, a radio DJ received an anonymous fax from a person claiming to be... from the future!!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:38 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/john-titor-time-traveler-predictions-storyhttps://www.postbulletin.com/rochester-magazine/john-titor-who-was-the-time-traveler-that-visited-rochesterhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Titorhttps://www.discoveryuk.com/mysteries/john-titor-the-internets-most-mysterious-time-traveller/https://web.archive.org/web/20170622161305/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/11945420/Who-was-John-Titor-the-time-traveller-who-came-from-2036-to-warn-us-of-a-nuclear-war.htmlhttps://web.archive.org/web/20170622161305/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/11945420/Who-was-John-Titor-the-time-traveller-who-came-from-2036-to-warn-us-of-a-nuclear-war.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen up, nerds, because we have some updates for you. Particularly if you live in Canada. Nerds. And in Toronto, if you're a Torontoian nerd, we've added an extra show in Toronto. Our first show live at the Royal Theatre on September 20 is nearly sold out. So we're adding an extra show straight afterwards. And guess what? It's the annual Christmas special.

Woo! Yes! So that's very, very exciting. We're also doing shows, of course, in Vancouver. That's almost sold out as well. Calgary are still a lot of tickets there left. And Montreal, quite a few tickets too. Is it the Calgary, do you think there's tickets available because we're saying their name wrong?

And they're like, oh, I wish she was coming to Calgary. Never haven't heard of Calgary. And you can get tickets to all those shows, including the new one. Do Go OnPod.com. And Matt, I believe you have some news too. Yes, very excited. The 200th episode of Who Knew at Matt Stewart is out now. You two are guests, Mish Whitrop and Ben Russell, all favorites of our little network.

And we had a great time. People are saying it's a lot of fun. It was so fun. And if you, I mean, there's 200 episodes to listen to. Yeah. That's a good one to get involved in if you haven't tuned in before. Just a bit of fun. It's a quiz show where a bit of mucking around, a bit of bluffing, but it's mostly just having fun.

And friendship. Friends, fun. A third F word. Fuck you. And welcome to another episode of Dugo One Wellington. How are you? Fantastic. My name is Stavornikey.

As always, I'm here on stage with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. We're here. Good to be here. So good to be here at the fringe bar. The fringe bar and Windy Wellie. Great here. Great here. Great to be here.

Great start. Great here. It's good because I did, I'd packed a jacket and a jumper and I've been traveling around New Zealand for a week or so. And it's great to be in Wellington so I can wear them. Have not. I've been in shorts and T-shirts the whole time. But Wellington has really delivered pants weather. And I appreciate that.

What about Jess? Optimistically, we've got a day off tomorrow and Jess said to me, I'd love to go for a swim. Then we looked at the weather forecast. Have you ever swum here? No. I just said I would love to go for a swim. Not that I will.

But I'm sure that you guys have, have you heard of pools? Fuck you, Dave. Have you hated pools? Some of them. Yeah, I probably won't be going for a swim. Anyway, thank you for having. having us Wellington.

I had an opposite experience to Matt, and it's been raining the whole time I've been here, and I went to the warehouse to buy an extra large men's anorac in a bag. And it may be my new favourite purchase. It's in a bag. It also looks like a bag. Yeah. A garbage bag.

It looks like I'm wearing a garbage bag, yeah. It's great. I don't know. What's an anirac? Jacket. Jacket. Well, just say that then. Fucking the high-faluting sort of nonsense.

has to stop Jess. You knew I wouldn't understand what that meant. Anirac. Do you want to start the show again? Yes. Hello, welcome to the show. Fantastic. Give us a round of applause if you've ever heard the podcast before.

Excellent. Thank you. Thank God. For context of people at home, it is actually the second show we're doing in this room in a row. Give us a round of applause, including that,

you've never heard the show before in your life. Thank you so much. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Thanks for coming. I feel like there's a group of three there and there's only one person who's heard the show. Is that true?

Yeah. You've brought along two people. Thank you so much. Yeah. Spreading the good word. Must be nice to have two friends. And two that you can convince to come to something. That's impressive.

Yeah. That sounded sarcastic. I'm serious. Well, I'll tell you what. Everyone has got more than one friend. Okay. We're thanking you now, but soon they'll be thanking you as well for their new favorite podcast. Thank you so much.

For the listeners at home, the new friends are not making our contact with us. To the new friends, and for anyone who's never heard the show before, what we do is we take it in turns to report on a topic, which is usually suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research, bring it back to the group in the form of a report, Jess, it is your turn to tell us a tale from history. I'm patting here because you had a drink. We always start with a question.

Well, I think you also probably thought they might cheer, and they didn't. Oh, sorry, it's Jess's team. Too little, too late. That's interesting because when Dave said I was doing the report at the first show, they cheered quite quickly. Yeah. Oh, I know. They definitely, after the phrase, give it up for Matt Stewart.

Yeah. So give it up for Jess Perkins, everyone. I'm just really disappointed to find out that it is true. Wellington is full of misogynous. I'd heard it, but I didn't want to believe it. Yeah. Did you say we get on to the... the topic of the question.

Yes. And have you written a question? I have. Oh, great. I know. I'm really proud of myself. Thank you so much. For the new people, I often forget how to do my job.

After 10 years. We work one day a week. It's very tough. Okay, my question is, what do Doc and Marty McFly do in the Back to the Future movies? Oh, have a really good time. They have quite a confusing relationship because why are they friends? There's a teenage boy at school and then a,

like a middle-aged mad scientist, there's no real reason that they'd be connected. So I would say that they haven't, is this going to be the topic, unusual friendship? Yes. No, but I knew he'd spiral. Dave, do you want to have a crack? Is it time travel?

It is time travel. Oh, I haven't watched it through. You get ten minutes in, you're like, what is going on? These two, have they made? How are these two friends? They're not explaining it. No?

And why has he got some? many clocks. I didn't get past the clock scene. So today's topic is about one specific time traveller. It's been suggested by several people. Stephen Carino from Illinois, Rebecca Healy from Knowlesley in the UK. Matthew Bridge, also from the UK. Riley Ness from South Elgin in Illinois.

And Sam from New Zealand. Is there a Sam in tonight? Yes. Is that really? you, Sam? No. Wait, wait, wait, forget he asked that. There's many people and there's not a single Sam.

Are you not even a... There's one. Where? Okay, great. You know I can't see you down the back. I've gone aggressive early. I'm going to... When we ask this again, like, this is we headed out and that's fine.

It gives a shit if you are or not named Sam. Just say you are and we can have a nice moment. Why'd you fuck that up for us? Ask again, ask again. Oh, wow. Has anyone called Sam in tonight? Oh my God. Give us a chee if you're not called Sam.

It's about 50-50. Oh my God. I knew about 50%. Sam, we love you. Thank you for the suggestion, Sam's. Yeah. That's so good. Wow.

That was better. It's good when we just really go on for a bit. I think they really like it. Yeah. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Sam. So, it's about a time travel.

Yes. How exciting. So this all kind of started way back in 1998, July in fact, when a fax was sent to a man named Art Bell. Art Bell was an American broadcaster whose late night paranormal themed radio program, coast to coast, was syndicated on hundreds of radio stations in the US and Canada. The program is actually still going. It airs seven nights a week from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. Oh my gosh.

and it's still very popular but art was the creator and the first host of this program and had been hosting the program for about 10 years when this mysterious fax was sent to him in July 1998. The fax read, Dear Art, I had to fax when I heard other time travellers

calling in, here's a lot of weird callers from any time past the year 2500 AD. Please let me explain. Time travel was invented in 2034. Oh. Then goes on to explain a lot of the signs of it, and it sounded like gibberish, so I'm skipping over it. They go on to say,

by altering the speed and direction of rotation, you can travel both backwards and forwards in time. Time itself can be understood in terms of connected lines. When you go back in time, you travel on your original timeline. When you turn the, see, I'm dozing off. So when you turn the singularity engine off, a new timeline is created due to the fact that you and your time machine are now there. Sounds like someone's explaining the rules of a board game.

Yeah. And then they always follow it with like, you'll get it once we start playing. Just watch for a bit. We'll do practice round and you'll get it. It's so funny. If this was a real thing, which obviously it is. It's a real fact. It's so funny that you're like, oh, my God, explaining time travel.

Oh my God, I am, oh, yorn. I think it's just me being defensive because I'm like, I don't understand it. So I'm going to say it's boring, but really it's just way over my head. Yeah, it's got a bit. of a, yeah, makes me feel a bit like anoractic. You know what I mean? The facts goes on. Do we talk about that on this episode?

Anorax? Yeah, that was an episode we did five years ago. Sorry, what you don't understand is in the year 2034. So they go on to say, some interesting outcomes of this are, one, you meet yourself. I have done this often Even taking a younger version of myself Along for a few rides So did they spell

Out of the gutter New Zealand Well I mean I'm in the gutt How do they spell meat? M-E-A-T No I'd love to meet myself Have you ever Is that a phrase you've heard

Like Might go home and meet myself Sorry in the year 2034 because I mean it's a logical extension of boning someone yeah don't come in you're really putting it all in there it started being I'm going oh man we meet and bone last night

and they got shortened them anyway get your minds out of the gutter you can alter history in the new universe that you have just created most of the time the changes are subtle sometimes I'll notice car models that don't exist or books that come out late So, you know, pretty small changes. What is car bottles?

Car models. Oh, sorry. What a car bottles? Everyone accepted it, like a car bottle. I was like, what the fuck is that? Though one time I did forget that the phrase sugar bowl exists. And dinnerware. Yeah, and dinnerware.

So, just clarifying. No, it's always worth asking questions. And if they're dumb, we'll tease you for it. Thank you. And then they end with this. Unfortunately, it was also discovered that Anyone going forward in time from my 2036 hit a brick wall in the year 2564. Please pray that we discover the reason why there is no apparent future after 2564.

Whoa. We'll be long dead. So don't worry personally. But, you know, if you are someone who thinks a lot about your legacy, about like, genealogy, I suppose, yeah, you could worry that in a few hundred years we may not exist. But I don't particularly care because I'll be gone. Like, does he say literally a brick wall? I mean, all I have are the words in front of me. Yeah.

But we can only assume yes. Okay. You try to travel further than 2564 and you hit a wall. Okay, so according to Kay Thor Jensen writing... I try to sit my mic. It happened. Happens every time. But this is pretty early for it to happen. Yeah.

I think there is something in that beer. Okay, so somebody, Kay Thor Jensen writing for a thrillist. The unknown time traveler described a Y2K disaster that would leave people frozen to death, a government instituting martial law, a power facility in Denver destroyed by a mob, and a communal government system sprouting out of the chaos. So it's looking like the immediate future is going to be really bad in 1998. and as we know, the future's been fantastic. So Art Bell read out this fax on his radio show

and received a follow-up fax from the time traveller. In the follow-up, the time traveller said, I've been on this world line since April of this year and I plan to leave soon. Typically, time travellers do not purposefully affect the world lines they visit. However, this mission is unusually long and I've grown attached to some of the people I've met here. Made some friends.

That's cute. what is it like to have friends after those two faxes we can presume that the unnamed time traveller did in fact leave that world line as no further communication was received this is awesome I love that even though he's time travelled to 500 years in the future he's still using fax I think that's fantastic

yeah I guess that's what year was it 98 email had been invented yeah embarrassing isn't it Well, I just think it raises questions. Like what? Why?

Any others? Yeah. Ah, how. Which? That's a good one. Who? Oh, yeah. And what?

Is that all of them? That's all the questions. Okay, so nothing was hurt. They didn't receive any further communication. Until... Okay. Two years later in November 2000, a message appeared on the Time Travel Institute forums by a person with the username Time Travel underscore Zero. They were before the first?

That's how you know. How do you get in that early? Time travel. I don't know. The time travel itself was taken. Time travel underscore zero. And time travel zero was taken. Oh, God.

The message read, greetings. I am a time traveler from. the year 2036. I'm on my way home after getting an IBM 5100 computer system from the year 1975. My time machine is a stationary mass at a temporal displacement unit manufactured by General Electric. I will be happy to post pictures of the unit. So this feels pretty legit to me. If they're saying, I'll post picks. Yeah. Hang it to post picks is something that doesn't exist. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, Pixar didn't happen. It happened. It happened. It happened. So a couple months later, so they're posting a few times, so a couple months later,

Time Travel underscore Zero began posting on an Art Bell forum, this time referring to his own name, John Titor. Taitor made numerous posts on the site and responded to other posters and questions posed to him on his posts. Now, luckily for us in 2003, various websites compiled all of his posts, and from all of that, a narrative was formed. So here's what we know about John Taito, the time traveler. He claimed to be an American soldier from the year 2036. based in Tampa, Florida.

He was, he said, a member of a military unit, the 177th temporal recon unit, whose missions centered around returning to the past to retrieve specific items necessary for survival in 2036. Okay. Like a 1975 IBM computer. Correct. That'll come in real handy.

In 2036. Yeah. As part of the project, he was sent back to 1975 to retrieve an IBM 5100 computer, which was needed to debug various legacy computer programs that existed in 2036. Okay. And it had to be one of the genuine 1975 one. Yeah.

He said that he had been selected for this mission because his paternal grandfather was directly involved in the original assembly and programming of the 5100. He attempted to provide proof of this by describing unpublicized features of the computer, which led some people to believe that a computer scientist must have been behind the post-eastern. So he's saying stuff about this computer that only a big old computer nerd might know. And there's none of those on the internet. And there's none of those. So they're all like, okay.

Yep. I've Googled it. The IBM 5100 from 1975 is real. This story checks out. How else would they have been able to know that? They can't. You can know that. It also does say that there are like,

there are ones available for sale now. So maybe he didn't have to go back. Maybe he could have just Googled it. Oh, he'd feel pretty foolish right about now. Yeah. But it'd be cheaper in 1975. Oh yeah, he's getting a better deal. Getting a better deal.

Yeah. Inflation, I'll tell you what. And also, he got chosen because his grandfather helped build it. What do they think? Like, it's in his blood that he knows how to use this machine? It's all up here, mate. Okay. You know absolutely everything your grandfather knows.

Yeah. And when you go back to buy something and you go, my grandfather helped him, he might have get a little discount. Yeah, that's right. You know, average shop, but that's my grandfather. I'm from the future. You're a discount. Your grandfather, but I'm your grandfather.

I'm not a grandfather. Then they have a spiral. And while they're having spiral, you steal the computer. Perfect. It's easy. So do you not feel, because your grandfather was a dentist. That is correct. Do you not sort of feel like in a pinch you could take out of tooth?

It's in there. Yeah. It's in there. It's up there. And I've begged you to let me have a go. I have too few teeth as it is. Okay, I stuffed up the first couple. Give me another shot.

I've counted my teeth and I have the same amount as the average eight-year-old. And that's true and concerning. So I can't spare any more teeth. Please don't take my teeth. Is that true? Like, have you had them taken out? Yeah. Well, that's why.

you made it sound like it was a crazy mystery that hadn't come in yet I'm not sure I get it okay so Steve Lang wrote for Rochester magazine he had he said made a side trip to 2000 to pick up some family photos and check in on family in Tampa and Rochester that introduction posted to the kind of paranormal extraterrestrial conspiracy theory message boards that were just finding a foothold on the internet

would set up a four-month flurry of what and when-ifs. Oh, a couple of the big questions. I think you might have missed when, too, I reckon. As far as time travel goes, it's one of the big ones. As Tideur answered numerous questions, told readers about his life in 2036 and gave us glimpses into our own future. Over the next four months' titles, 570 or so internet posts

would describe an upcoming civil conflict over a US presidential election. Oh my God, there's been election since then. Dave, I don't know if you've been keeping up to that with current US news. I think they're more gasping it. You haven't? No. I don't want to be the one to tell you. Things aren't looking too good over there.

But luckily New Zealand, I believe your prime minister is going to be on the right side of history. And that man's name is? Helen Clark. Way to assume it's a man, Dave. They're rubbing off on you, Dave. Because they're misogynist too. Well, they've had it for Helen Clark. Okay.

I don't know, I don't get your people. Now this is just for you two. Remember I was trying to think of the name of a horse during the show in Auckland? No. Yeah, I know I do, yeah, and it had something to do with... Ethereal. That was its name. So, AJ, if you can edit this into that episode.

You remember that. So sorry, AJ. The only thing that makes me feel better about it is knowing that you don't edit things out at all. yeah we get well they say fucking gross stuff though their stuff is crook as shit

just's thoughts on certain communities this will not make it okay so he's warning them of a civil conflict he warned us about a mad cow disease outbreak and tells us about the impending nuclear war

with Russia. On March 24 of 2001, John Titus signed off. He was heading back to 2036. And there was nothing else in 2001 that he could warn us about. Okay. No, he went through his list.

He was like, no, I guess that's it. See you guys. Yeah. Well, that gets me up to like, I don't know, late August. That should be better, right? What else could happen?

So, wait, he was warning about an upcoming nuclear war. That happened like 30 years early, didn't it, the Cold War and stuff? There hasn't been a nuclear war with Russia since then, has it? Yeah, but he's between then and 2036. Oh, that's still to come. Yeah. Don't know, there's still the best is yet to come. So he signed off.

He said, bring a gas can with you when your car dies on the side of the road. that's just good advice from a dad when he just said farewell John that's his do you reckon he like he wrote that closed his computer or I don't know power to debt got any space spaceship

got in his time machine and went that was fucking weird why don't I write that yeah he's still regret he's still like idiot John somewhere in the future is kicking himself yeah you know why I believe this the surname Titan doesn't exist yet

that's not even not even his surname, which is the craziest bit. What was his surname? Taitor. Oh, well, fuck, hell. That couldn't have been closer, Jess. That really feels like something you could let go. I understand when Dave says car bottle, we have to have a go.

But Taitor Taiton. A gas canister, a car bottle. No, don't give him that. That is, come on. That's closer than Taiton. and talk to you. Taiton. So one of the greatest lessons title can teach us

is that you can create an entire reality around a few facts and a person who can post and respond to questions online, says Jacob Dejare of Crackpot Podcast. It doesn't matter how outrageous your claims are or what you're selling. And that's exactly it. He doesn't have all the answers. He doesn't pretend to know everything. So when people are kind of

trying to poke holes or catch him out on something, he can turn it back on them. So for example, he wrote I'm not a physicist. Time travel is only a tool that allows me to do my job. Most airline pilots are probably not aerospace engineers. You know, if people are like, well, how does this work? He's like, huh?

And I kind of get that because I can't quite explain what a podcast is. I don't fully understand how this gets on the internet. You know what I mean? So fair enough. I also don't know how cars work and I use them all the time. Internal combustion engines, Jess. He just plug it into the car bottle. Good to go

Just pretty basic stuff That is how men talk about cars What happens is What's your The spark plug There's a small explosion And that powers The old pistons there

Start pumping up and down Through those cylinders And How many cylinders is your car got Oh how long's a piece of string You know what I imagine Yeah, now. Oh, yeah, pop, oh, let's have a look.

Oh, yeah. Yep, there's an engine. Oh, no, that's, there's an engine. I'm looking in the boot. That's a set of golf clubs, mate. A beautiful set of golf clubs. You guys let me know when I can continue. Please, Jess, do go on.

So some people are doubting him saying that he's... Yeah, which is outrageous. I choose to believe. Well, he's come here and he said, hey guys, here's something that's going to blow your mind and some people go, I don't think so. How rude. Oh, that's ridiculous as well.

He went straight to the people you would go to if this was real. Paranormal. Niche. Conspiracy theory. Conspiracy theory websites. Correct. And radio shows. And radio programs.

Perfect. Exactly right. What you... airing between 1 and 5 a.m. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I'm sure the presidents have had a few of these emails. over the years as well. And they're probably not getting replies.

Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so. So eventually, maybe cut out the middle, man, get straight to Artie. Ooh. Artie Bell? Yeah. Oh, that felt really good.

You got an applause for remembering a name. But it was such a... It was a smattering. It was art. But it's close enough. The guy's named Arthur. I'm sure he's been called Artie at some point in his life. That is...

So someone in the audience, some in the audience, who is editing this and I should be nicer to him, AJ. I apologize for that. So we're going to tell you now that you can do go on. Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, I'll shut up.

So he's saying, I'm not an aerospace engineer. I don't know if I can know. Steve Lang again writes, even his time machine seems just ridiculous enough to be plausible. He uploaded a few photos and schematics. Well, that said that. Who cares? Fix that, AJ.

The info contained just enough real science to pass the eye test. I don't mean to be pedantic you, Jess. But that's not how you say schematics. It's not the same way. It doesn't matter. Let's have a look at the schematics here. Oh, the golf clubs? Okay, sorry.

Still the clubs, okay. Lawrence Dodd agrees, writing for the Telegraph, it was these kind of details which gave a sheen of plausibility to title's wild claims. There was just something about them, which was convincing, just grubby enough to seem real, laced with just enough techno babble to convince the lay science enthusiast. So it was just the right amount of bullshit? But where was Titles time machine stored?

You'd think it would have to be somewhere safe. Otherwise, what if someone stumbled upon it and accidentally time travelled? Yeah. And they don't know what they do and they don't know how to get back. That happened in Back to the Future too. Right. Was it Biff? It was old Biff.

Found it, went back, gave himself the Ormanat. and change history forever. Yeah. Creating a Biff, Trump-like Biff in the future who made Marty's mum get fake cans. And she was miserable. She said, these you can have them!

Which is one of the great lines of the film. She's talking about literally taking her implants out and giving him back to me. And he gleamed this from the first 10 minutes of the movie. Very impressive. His comprehension is just outstanding. Yeah, that felt like the way it was going. So Titles' time machine was housed in the trunk of a 1967 Chevy Corvette convertible,

which I think is a great place for a time machine. Yes. And then later he moved it to a Chevy truck. Oh, they have more space. Wonderful spot for a time machine. The idea was to find a vehicle that would not draw too much attention for the time period, he said. Makes a bit of sense. I mean, a convertible's always going to catch the eye, isn't it?

Yeah. Especially at the top down, you go, who's those sexy little guys having a little drive? and tru-hoo out for us. You know, because if in Melbourne you see a convertible with the top down, you're like, yeah, there's two days a year. You can put the top down. Good for you. Wellington would kill for two days a year.

In order to return to Tampa in the year, 2036, where he was from, he had to drive to Tampa in 2001, once he's done traveling around visiting friends, because the time machine only moves through time, not space. Okay, guys, this isn't magic. Grow up. Okay. So wherever you get in, that's what you can get out.

Correct. Okay. You guys are really grasping time travel very well. I get it, but the only problem is the Earth doesn't stay stationary. I think you'll find the Earth is actually traveling on a huge orbit around the sun, and it's also spinning. So at any moment, even right now, we've moved maybe meters. Maybe meters since I've begun this sentence, and that means that,

in time travel, oh, pop, I'm in out of space. That's right, out of space. So I think I'm starting to find a few holes. Yeah, so naturally, people ask John Tider a lot of questions, some out of genuine curiosity and plenty out of skepticism. When asked if time travel affected him physically, he responded, I'm not aware of any physical changes to my DNA. I do, however, seem to be more susceptible to colds.

Think about that. you know not worth it a cold you can time travel but you might get a cold oh don't worry about it I'm alright

that makes some sense I guess does it walk us through how well you know like his immunity might be used to futuristic colds but not the colds

of the time that he was in now so I think that that adds up I'm happy I'll tick that off right now thanks Dr Matt as a man who did science all the way up until I was allowed to stop doing it at school.

What, year nine? We had to do it till, yes, year nine. Maybe you're eight. Either way. Surely year nine. It was eight, nine or ten. Do you have the same years as us here, up to twelve?

You got a thirteen. You got a thirteen? A baker's high school education. Bit of fun. Yeah, that was actually quite good. Oh, really? Yeah.

Takes a little for her to pay one. It really does. Okay, so when asked about his day-to-day life in 2036, he replied, I suppose an average day in 2036 is like an average day on the farm. Okay. I live in a community made up of tree houses on a large river in Florida. The river floods sometimes and we have access to the golf. Most of our, oh, golf clubs.

That deserved more and I, I can't forget. Is it because I went really mean quite early? Because, yes, okay, fair enough. And I do apologize about that. I have had a few too many skittles. Most of our neighbours make a living off the sea or in moving cargo by boat. 2036.

That feels soon. Do you what I mean? Yeah, that's what, 10 years away, everyone. Yeah. He even got a little bit climate change. Oh my God, so true. Makes you think, yeah. Makes a thing.

Yeah. Better buy a boat. Oh, I get so seasick. Yeah, that'd suck for you. Or a submarine. Can you get motion sickness in a submarine? I don't think so. I think you've become one with the water.

He just, just globber along. Okay. He even got a little bit sassy. He also said, perhaps I should let you all in on a little secret. No one likes you in the future. No one likes the past? No one likes the past. this specific, like, early 2000s.

This time period... Oh, we all hate the early 2000s. Cargo pants, blonde tips. Yeah. For those from that era? I don't know. Nickelback. I'm trying to think of easy targets here.

Things I hate from the early 2000s. Yeah, I just want to check. Are we pro or... I don't think that were that easy targets. Have to get through all these other buildings. You know what I mean? Like, there was quite big buildings. Famously, New York has a lot of tall buildings.

Well, not anymore. AJ, please. Go back to bagging nickelberg. No, that felt gross. I regret the nickel back bit. When you say edit that out, AJ, you meant just the nickel back bit. Yeah, that's gratuitous. That's fucking, that's hack stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It'd be like in a Kiwi making fun of Dave Dobbins. Oh, no, you love him. Wait, what was that? Why did you make that sound? He's a national hero. I love, that's what I'm saying.

I love him. Da da da da da da. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da yeah. Yeah, I got a lot of thing to you. And then that's the bottom line. How's that song so much? That song rules. Is that your national anthem?

Should be. Every element of that buildup is fucking sick. I didn't even tell you what that is. I'll tell you what it is. Perfect. Yes. So good. It's so good.

Maybe a pheroman? Oh, could be. Could be. But I mean, in Dave's hands, you know, everything's a musical instrument. He's all off? Yeah. And long may he reign. Him and Helen Clark, my two faves.

And ethereal. A horse of yours. who is almost certainly dead. Do you need time codes? This is all because he said, no one likes you in the future. Oh yeah, that's where we went.

No one likes you in the future. And that, for people, you know, here for the first time, that's our vibe. Yeah. No one likes you in the future.

This time period is looked as being full of lazy, self-centered, civically ignorant sheep. Oh, now the Kiwis are on it. Perhaps you should be less concerned about me and more concerned about that. Okay.

He's like, you're asking a few too many questions. You know, we all hate you. So, shit out. That's so funny. It's pretty funny. And clever. Yeah. How do you come back from me?

Oh, no. We can change. I'll start asking questions. So he obviously, like he, I mentioned before a few things that he sort of told us were going to happen. There was a few sort of predictions, we'll call them. Here's a few that John Titles. had and let's see how many were accurate, how accurate he was.

Steve Lang writes, here's something. Almost none of John Titles' predictions came true. Yet. Exactly. Sure, this is Steve still writing. Sure, he hinted at something similar to a mad cow disease outbreak before the limited cases really hit the US in 2003.

He said we wouldn't find any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, which we didn't. In 2003. And he said China would send an astronaut into orbit, and they did. 2003. So those were like a few things that he's like he didn't get anything right. He got these three but not. But it is funny like if I was sent back in time and I'm remembering things from history, I'm fucking it up as well. Absolutely. And when I say history I mean the future. Yeah. Or even to go back. I don't know. Yeah. Because he's gone back in time. It's the past for him, the future for us. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It does make a thing.

I breaks your brain a little, doesn't it? Anyway, so he's, he's, when the those sort of early things came true, true enough, title followers got really excited, a little scared even, they're like, oh my God. And fair enough, they got a little bit scared because a few things have come true and then he says other stuff so you start to believe that's all going to be true as well. Stuff like, as a result of the many conflicts, there were no official Olympics after 2004. They've all been unofficial. And has there been? Unificial. Unofficial. Yes. Was that your Kiwi accent when you said yes?

No. Because you said it weird, but you didn't say it like them. Not in their kind of weird. You just said it in a new kind of weird. Yes. Go to the tape. I think it was very cute. I'm trying something new.

What do you think about it? It was fantastic. How do you say yes here again, AJ? Yes. So try that. Go fuck yourself. So he says no official Olympics after 2004. However, it appears they may be revived in 2040.

So just hold on, you guys. Someone to look forward to. Start training now. We'll bring back the Olympics. And he also said, the civil war in the United States will start in 2004. I would describe it as having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse. That sounds pretty bad. The year 2008 was a general date by which,

time everyone will realize the world they thought they were living in was over. It's actually so true because that's the year I finished school. Yeah, I was just thinking that. And like, you know what I mean? Yeah. You're just like, what? That's actually the year that I remember thinking I was watching and enjoying the Beijing Olympics.

But apparently that was all a fraud, unofficial. That was an unofficial Olympics you were watching and that's illegal. Anyway, and he also says A world war in 2015 killed nearly 3 million people. Jess, you should warn us that you're going to tell us about these awful things that have happened.

Taito had quite a following of hardcore believers and any failure predictions failed predictions were explained away quite easily. They'd go like, well yeah, duh, multiverse. Firstly, multiverse and also

now that we know these things, of course we're going to avoid them. Yeah, that's right. So from Wikipedia, according to him, this meant that his time travel had caused the formation of a new time stream and that in this current time stream, the events that Tidal had described would occur somewhat differently than they had in his home time stream. This made his predictions non-falsifiable. Great. So if something happens, it happens.

Yeah. And if it didn't happen, well, sure, not in your time stream. Yep. You know, but it happened in mine and what I said was true. Can't get me. So John Tidal posts a bunch of on various forums, answers questions, is open about his work, his life and experiences, and then he posts his goodbye in 2001 and disappears.

And Steve Lang writes, but the John Taito phenomenon was not over. It was, in fact, just beginning. Oh. Because those four months or 570 or so posts would lead to a website, John Tidal.com. numerous books like John Tidal, a time traveller's tale. But some of them came out slightly later than expected.

And there were different car bottles. See, in this multiverse, I didn't even know car bottles existed. There was a movie, Time Traveler Zero, and a stage play, Time Traveler Zero. With that kind of attention, particularly in the paranormal world, comes a lot of support, but also, a lot of criticism. After most of his predictions slash warnings were not in fact true, a lot of the buzz online died down. But some people persisted.

And the big question was, who is or was John Titour? Or is yet to be. Or is who is yet to be John Titour? Have we checked out if there's been a John Titour who was born at the right time? Time tour? Oh, they hate you.

They really hate you. That's being clear from the beginning. Yeah. I was only ironically saying you're misogynistic. We're in a place with pride flags everywhere and stuff. I was thinking, oh, no, they're actually a pretty progressive, supportive community of women and others. But no. But no, I'm disappointed to find that it's not the case.

And that you're all just like your prime minister. Not Helen. Yeah, I forget. Was it ethereal or? Yeah. What is your prime minister's name? I like it. Someone said no.

You will not speak his name. No. No, move on, no. So who is John Taiton? What a question. We're all asking it. I know. We're all wondering.

In 2009, a report by John Houston, who runs the hoax hunter website, named Larry Haber, a Florida entertainment lawyer, and John Rick Haber, his computer scientist brother, as the men behind John Titor. His evidence, Larry Haber is the CEO of the John Tytol Foundation and an IP address connected with Taito points to the same town in which he registered it. This theory was backed up by a private investigator who was hired by an Italian TV company who concluded that John Rick Haber and with his computer knowledge was the culprit.

Larry Haber, who was the CEO but also an attorney, claimed that he did have contact a couple of times with John Taito and with John Titour's mother and he was John Titour's mother's lawyer. Yeah, there you go. But he was not himself, John Titour. Hmm. I can't be my mother's lawyer.

I mean, the logic just doesn't add up. Think about it. So both investigations also implicated a third Haber brother, Maury, who is the chief technology officer and an identity protection company. The Havers all deny their involvement. How convenient. That's what they would say if they didn't have anything to do with it.

Yeah. Think about it. Mori said in a statement. One of the friends who came from the first time, I've looked over a couple times, has been face palming. Yeah. Which is... That's a great sign. That is a really good sign.

That is a really good sign. I'm just really enjoying and absorbing. Yes. You just have to push through this first hour and listen to maybe several dozen more episodes. and then you will like us. They've all been through it. Yeah. You keep pushing.

Yeah. We grow on you. Yeah. Well, like a fungus. Yeah. You know? Bless you.

That's the biggest laugh I've fucking got it tonight. No, that is. These guys, hey. Anyway, this is a riveting, so I want to know who this John Titor is. Thank you so much. But it might be Mori.

Well, Maury said in a sense, statement just to set the record straight, I am not John Title. Oh, well, that's exactly what he would say if he wasn't John Title. Nor do I know who he is or if he really exists. This is an alias bestowed upon me on the internet by conspiracy theorists, fact finders and fanatics. It also represents the most bizarre case of identity impersonation and accusations I've seen in my 25 plus year career as a security and information technology professional.

It's getting a little professional plug in there as well. He doesn't know who it is yet It's his brother Who's John Taiter's mum's lawyer And has been in contact with John Taitor But Maury says I don't know who John Taito is What Jess hasn't said is Mory and his brother estranged

Oh Are they? No No No he said I'm not him And I don't know who he is Yes Do you know all of your siblings' clients

Oh yeah There's Chris Phil Philippa get those too confused sometimes Trish Yeah Johnny B

Uh huh Dave's sister is a nurse So you say clients, patients It's all the same thing She sees hundreds of people every week Yeah yeah Dave knows them all There's no client confidentiality

Or patient confidentiality Go on Who else That's good Gladys Yeah gladys Yeah I've told you about Gladys Yeah

Rick Steve Rick Steve Steve You may have mentioned someone called Rick's Day before which reminded me of that there's someone called AJ Fringe

Chris Fringe Bar Yes The list goes on The list goes on Anyway so Larry The lawyer He says that The Titor experience has brought him

Fame, fear, new relationships but never fortune Well he should launch something called the Titor experience That sounds awesome As an entertainment attorney I've been involved in hundreds of different projects with all sorts of clients. Being involved with Taito has brought me more recognition and headaches than anything else I've ever worked on. That's what you would say.

Oh, no, I could never be. It's so difficult for me. Who wants recognition? So this, as you can possibly understand, this is the kind of topic that has thousands of YouTube videos about it, all many, many hours long, made mostly by men who I'm confident have never seen boo. I'm just, I'm watching them like, go outside. What's going on? Have a glass of water.

Honestly, watch porn. I think it'll be a better use of your time. They're like, we did. We've watched all of the porn. So it's like it's really complex and it's very deep, although I think people are digging deeper than it actually goes and making a lot of links. So Steve Lang kind of put me at ease.

as I was trying to piece all this together because he wrote, here's a warning, don't Google John Title. The cast of characters alone will take you down the kind of internet wormhole that you emerge from

and say, did I really just spend two hours on that? And that's also a good way to describe our show. Yeah. This is still Steve writing. Characters like computer engineer Marlon Paulman who applied for a patent for a time travel machine based on Titus designs and who was later sentenced to six years in prison

for drugging and assaulting four women. And then we have amateur sleuth, John Houston, who posted a 40-minute video comparing phrase usage of Titus posts to that of his prime suspects, and Pamela Moore, who claimed that John Tytle provided her with a secret song that could be used to verify anyone who may come forward claiming to be John. Oh, and just how intimate was their relationship.

No one else can do that noise. Maybe it's Dave Toppin. It's from an instrument from the future. That's right. Dave Dobbin might be a future. Might be a future. Could he be? I believe that.

His music sounds like it's timeless to me. Fantastic. I definitely love that song. I'd not heard any of his other stuff, but I imagine it's also really good. Yes? He's been like, because he only had one hit that crossed over to Australia, right? But he's had heaps here. Got to get into it.

Hey, I got a lot of listening to do That's the bottom line Whom So she said I'm so sorry everybody But to you the most Look at her, she's doing it again It is late

It's late Sunny's on Yeah, yeah Oh nice See it's on but when you're snoring it's kind of point So only the real John Taito will know this... The secret song. That's so funny.

Yes, and she sort of implies they might have had a sexual relationship. Okay? That sort of thing. They're adults. Oh, shit. I recognize him anywhere. Drop trial? That's him.

He had a very specific birth mark. So the big question... There's a shape of Dave Dobbins' face. So the big question is, of course, was John Tait or an internet hoax, or was he a real time traveller? Dave, what do you reckon? I want to believe.

I want to believe. In fact, I do believe. I'm all in. I'm all in. You guys are going to love my next sentence. So a guy called Mike Solo. He's the creative director for the University Center of the Arts and School of Music

in Colorado. And he also... Artie. Fuck me, dead. What can I mean? He works for the arts. He emmaid, a guy called art. Oh.

AJ just said he can't edit it out now because we come back. We just have to edit both things out, AJ. Fucking do your job, mate. You can't see he's loving this. Don't feel for AJ. I feel like Jess is building to a satisfying conclusion here. So please. I tell you what, the only satisfying conclusion is you've proven

that Dave Dolbens is the hero of the future and this is all real. I hope that's what you're about to do. Is Dave here? Here? So, I'm going to start again so you can just... Mike Solo, creative director for the University Center for the... Anyway, fucking Colorado State University. He was also...

He played John Tytle in Time Traveler Zero Zero. He says, to channel Fox Mulder, I want to believe he did. From a practical standpoint, science continues to peel back the veil of our existence and with each new layer, reality seems to be far more complex than we could have ever imagined. And it's happening at such an incredible pace. And if nothing else, the world is a more magical place if we leave a little room for stories like John's. I keep an eBay alert active for an IBM 5100 just in case. But that doesn't exactly answer the question of whether or not John Taito really was a trium traveler or even if that is his.

name and that's right this is a mystery episode we simply don't know we don't know but we're pretty sure we're pretty sure it was probably one of those three brothers um what for who knows and his name was tritore meaning three tours there's probably a language where tour means brother i think i'm connecting some dots yeah last time i corrected him on a small discrepancy um He yelled at me. You all saw it. So I'm not saying anything. Is she troubling you guys?

So look, that is the story, but I do have a couple. We've got a couple more minutes. I have a couple of other examples of potential time travel. Claims of potential time travelers. Would you like to hear about a couple of those? Yes. Because if it's real, you would expect that a bunch would appear, right? That's right.

Is there any word on how many drag a watts they need to make it? Love how he says, drag a watt. Not in any of these examples. Okay. Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask. So, a fairly famous one that I think I only saw, oh, you know what, I was about, this is so dumb. I was about to say, I saw this recently.

It was because I was researching this topic. I reckon he saw most of this recently. Jesus Christ. Just like, nothing happening up here, you know? Anyway, so a fairly famous one is called Chaplin's Time Traveller. In October 2010, Northern Irish filmmaker George Clark uploaded a video clip entitled, Time Traveler to YouTube.

The clip analyzes bonus material in a DVD of Charlie Chaplin film The Circus. So basically in the footage, you can see at one point a woman is walking by holding an object to her ear. And Clark said that on closer examination, she was talking into a thin black device that had appeared to be a phone. What? What the actual fuck? He concluded that the woman was possibly a time traveler. The clip received millions of hits and was the subject of televised news stories

all around the world. People were picking this up and running with it. And then an associate editor for the Atlantic, Nicholas Jackson, says, the most likely answer is that she was wearing a hearing aid. Which were, the technology was just being developed at that time. A little portable hearing aids. That's probably why.

But it could have been an iPhone. Yes, it could have been. Wow, she could have been playing Angry Birds with their years. Who knows? Who knows? It's exciting. The other one I have is Andrew Carlson, who was supposedly arrested in March 2003 for SEC violations

for making 126 high-risk stock trades and being successful on every single one. It was reported that he started with an initial investment of $800 and ended up with over $350 million, which obviously drew a bit of attention. Later reports suggested that after his arrest, he submitted a four-hour confession wherein he claimed to be a time traveller

from 200 years in the future. He offered to tell investigators such things as the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden and the cure for AIDS in return for a lesser punishment and to be allowed to return to his time craft, although he refused to tell investigators the location or workings of his craft.

A mysterious man posted his bail and Carlson was scheduled for court hearing but was never seen again. and records show that he never existed. What? Yet. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Now, the Carlson story likely originated as a fictional piece from a satirical newspaper and was later repeated by Yahoo News, where its fictitious nature became less apparent. It was soon reported on by other newspapers and magazines as fact. Or was it? Covering their tracks for sure.

He never existed. No record of an Andrew Carlson. I've never heard of an Andrew Carlson. It sounds like a very common possible name. I think he was one of my sister's patients actually. Go through the Rolodex. But there you go. Another couple of examples of potential time travelers,

but that is the story of John Taitour time traveler. Give it up for Jess, everyone. Wow. Man, that's so cool. I want it to be true. Me too. If time travel was real, I'd use that machine to go back to the start of this show

and experience it all over again. And I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling that right now. Can we just double-check? There isn't a future, Dave, up the back, watching. Nah. Well, there was a really good-looking guy on the bar. Did you see that? I love the scurry.

He had your signature scurry. He had a big beard as well. that's not me then Future you Oh yeah Give me another couple hundred years There might be a way to fix that medically

Yeah that's right To fix that Yeah Thank you Sorry Sorry Well If I had a time machine

I would not be going back in time To the start of this episode now Oh Just because of that Yeah You're a bit sensitive Do you want to boot this baby home then? Yeah

Oh, Dave No, I would And I'd go back And say hello to all of you again Thank you so much for coming out To this beautiful show on this Saturday night, Wellington Our second time here ever Amazing

On the same night Give up these selves Give it up, thank you so much And thank you to the fringe bar We'd love to say a special thanks To Saraj Who was our roped in as the doorman Give it up for us or else. Thank you so much.

Alien J on the sound. Thank you so much. We will be up the back hanging out. I know we've met a bunch of you, but some people missed out on getting merch or maybe you're here just for the second show. We've got quickly some T-shirts, sorry, not T-shirts, some tote bags, some posters, some magnets and some stickers to sell, or you can get them in the pack that we're calling the footlong pack, which will make no sense to you if you weren't here for the first show.

But it's funny. Okay, so, and it's a discount for all those things. Or you can just say hi or get up a photo or something on the way out. But apart from that, thank you so much. Give yourselves a round before us one more time. Wellington, we love you. Good night. Oh, my God.

We're back in the studio having had such a fantastic time in Wellington. What a great time we had in that beautiful, beautiful city. I really had a lovely time. I loved walking around. And remember that walk we did just before we left up on to the doctor? And stuff. Yeah, we went down. It was a beautiful, it was like glassy water as far as the I could see.

There was a man for some reason who was jumping. He's done bombs. Doing bombs like off the pier. And a crowd. A crowd of teen girls were cheering him on and he had goggles and in my mind floaties on but that might not be. He definitely had the vibe of someone who could be wearing floaties. It was so cold, like too cold to get in the water but they were cheering him on and I think

he was going, well, the crowd's here. Yeah. This is my moment. Boom! Good stuff, mate. We've just been to the two of the garage project breweries. Oh, yeah, we haven't. We had a pie and a beer paddle.

Did we ever put those photos? We've got to put that photo out. Probably should. We should. The crossover of the century, we did the Dave Padlestogram and Matt's Paddlestagram. And Jess had a pie too. I was there. Jess was there.

Just was there. Lovely day. Lovely day. And spending lots of time with our dear friend, AJ, our editor and New Zealand friend on home soil. So that was great fun. And thanks to everyone who came out to the shows in Auckland and Wellington. Let's do it again sometime, eh? Oh, hey?

Yeah, for sure. Gorgeous. Loved it. Yeah, maybe Canadian people could, you know, if you liked the sound of that, you could be in the audience in Canada. Yeah, this September. Or anyone in North America or anyone in the world who can get to Canada, I suppose. Just get there. Very exciting.

And great report, Jess, on John Tider. Thanks. I remember it. Couldn't believe, I couldn't believe it when it wasn't some mcuffin red herring that you're talking about time travel at the start. Wait, this guy actually time travel? It's so fun. Now, now they're in the studio, we spend a little time. Giving a bit of love back to those who support the show at patreon.com slash two-go-on pod.

we do it in multiple kinds of ways. One of the ways is these shoutouts we do at the end of the show, but you also get all sorts of other things. Is that right, Dave? Absolutely. You can get access instantly to over 300 bonus episodes in the back catalogue. And also, nearly every Sunday we do four a month. We put out a bonus episode that might be a bonus report.

There's over 100 of those that are like just like exactly this type of show. We want to do quizzes. there's a monthly D&D campaign that we've been running and all sorts of stuff you get to be part of the Facebook group which you might be like Facebook's lame this is the only part of Facebook that's good we can tell you that people come in there they share their highs and everyone celebrates people go in there they share their lows and everyone sort of fix them up again it's very very nice it's a really nice beautiful part of the internet you can also hear about live shows before anyone else get discount tickets as the people that came to Wellington absolutely

would have done and you get to of course know that you're supporting the show without you. We can't do the show and one more thing, add free listening. What about that? Oh, that's right, and videos. Yeah. Not this episode, but... Yeah, not live ones, unfortunately.

We can't take the full three camera set up with us on the road. Yeah. But, yeah, obviously, we appreciate anyone who can support the show. And also, there's a little section, Matt, that is called the fact-quita question section. Yeah. Has a little jingle somewhere like this? Fact-quote or questions. He always remembers the name.

She always remembers the same. And the way this works is if you're on the Sydney-Sharmberg level or above, you get to give us a factor quote or a question or a barrier or gesture or really whatever you like. You also get to give yourself a title. The first one this week comes from Kevin West. And Kevin's title is, it's complicated, keen for pain, lit for clit, but too timid to be bothered. Okay, and Kevin is asking a question. Writing.

My motorsop or randai for listening to the pod is while walking my dog or laying down eyes closed. This makes it difficult to engage with your full episode videos. One of the things that has drawn me into watching lately, especially in the Patreon section at the end of each episode, is Jess's master class in Zen-like patience. When I'm done with something, I'm done. And when I'm hungry, it's time to get food. I get the sense that Jess and I are alike in this regard. So when the episode is nearing its end and Matt starts a tangential walkabout, I love to watch Jess's face in solidarity and in awe.

I know Matt can't help himself. And this is sometimes where the magic happens. And Dave seemingly can't be bothered by anything. But, Jess, how do you do it? Please tell us your secret. A little bit of a wink here, but honestly, as someone who has been known to blow up and later regret it, I'm truly impressed. I mean, same here, but not at Matt talking. Like, I don't think, I don't think that's enough to push me over the edge.

Jess, you're a saint for putting up with this guy. She's so zen. Did you hear you, Dave, explain what happened when Matt read out the word zen, the last. in relation to me. I looked at Dave like, the fuck. So I wish we were recorded this episode so Kevin could see that, that face. Incorrect. Very centered.

Me, yes. Very centered. So self-centered. I don't know. You can sense that you're hungry, Jess. I'm hungry right now. I mean, I don't know if you need to sense that sometimes Jess is like, I'm hungry. Yeah, that's what you were saying.

I'm good at communicating my needs. My needs are hunger. Do you have any secrets to offer to Kevin? To, to... How to keep your Zen while someone's being a tedious asshole? Therapy. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've seen a therapist for nine years. Okay. That's probably a big, just aging and growing. Growing. Yeah. Kevin West, ever tried it? I also, sometimes when Matt goes on a tangent when I just want the episode to be done, I just zone out.

Try that. Zen out. I zen out. take some deep breaths stare at the table and go fuck I'm hungry and if we don't hurry up the cafes get to close

and I want somebody eat it's true I also what we know of Kevin from that is also Kevin you sound like the most Zen person ever

you lie down close your eyes and listen to podcasts you take your dog for a walk this all sounds like healthy stuff I can't just lie down and listen to something I'll fall asleep

if I close my eyes and I'm lying down it's good night All right, some good advice there for you, Kevin. Keep doing what you're doing and get some therapy. Good advice for anyone, really. Therapy, give it a crack. Yeah, might be for you.

Next one comes from Michael Derizzi, aka Mission Zach Listener. Okay. Offering a question writing, I hope it hasn't written in the wrong podcast. Oh, I see. This isn't the current Ferrarama? So, Michael writes, I've been listening to Emissions Zach's various pods for a long time now and I absolutely love the incredibly hyper-niche topics or niche, as I hear some Americans say. Oh, they love a niche.

Nitch. What? They love a niche. Yeah, it's fun. It fully changes the word. I like it. Yeah. Also, instead of machismo, machismo.

Oh, I like that too. And not a pecan. Pekan. Why do you like pec? I do like pecan. Sounds like Patrick Stewart's character. Oh, probably my favourite, though, is not, we say Pagola. Pergola.

They say pergola. They say pergola? Pergola, like an outdoor roof-covered space. We say Pagola. Is there an R in there that we skip, or are they adding one in? Pergola. Yeah, they're adding one. Oh, fun.

Beautiful stuff. And I only knew recently because I didn't understand an Alcette Tromboe-Birtchal joke, but it's arugula and that means Rocket Rocket. It's such a fun word. His joke was just about misunderstanding. I can't remember but.

You really didn't get the joke. I really didn't get it. And he was pitching to me one-on-one and I'm like, I don't understand. I love it. Yeah, we call it rocket, which I'd say rocket's cooler. Rocket is pretty good actually. But Arugula is a great word.

Oh, yeah. The leafy green. They call it arugula. That's news to me. It sounds like, you know, that horn you were When you said rocket I went to rocket ship

and I thought well it just doesn't worry about aeronautics than I ever thought Yeah haven't you seen the the arugula space program The arugula 5 Oh that was that was peak I'm a passionate follower of the

Arugula space program The Arugula That's excellent Arugula I love it We're all learning you We're all learning you But please do go on Yeah talking about

Nitch topics The current Arama is currently a current affair arama. Yeah, that's what I was mentioning. And while I've been cackling my little head off, it did come across my mind that they might be losing their minds for real this time. I mean, who does a podcast about a news program from the 90s?

That's a good question. My question is, can you check on your friends and make sure they're not genuinely going crazy? I know it's a bit they do, but I am a little concerned, thanks in advance. I saw Mish We did Sammy P's pod a couple weeks ago

She was fine We saw even more recently The 200s who knew it True We were all there She was in fine form She was absolutely She was going on a date

To the wrestling that night That's right She accidentally sent one of her Who knew it answers To her date And it was a weird one It was a weird thing Yeah it's weird

I'm gonna ask her for a follow up But if I get a chance This will already be out, but going to try and record with Surin a little recap because he wasn't able to make it in the end. Yeah, love it. And see if Mish can give us an update on how the date went. That's so good. But no, at the semi-P pod, she was talking about the Arama that they were doing and she's fine.

Yeah. You know what I mean? She's, she's okay. She wasn't saying this is the best idea we've ever had. We're going to change the podcasting game, you know? Everyone's okay. She did mention a current affairorama to me at the Live 200th, and she was saying there was an insane idea. Yeah.

But she was saying, and how incredibly niche it is. It's so niche, and then she went and got an arugula salad. Yeah, it was wild. My goodness, she ate it in the rooftop bar, which I would call the pergola. Yeah. Yes. And you were there with your mate, Craig. Yeah, Craig is having a pecan salad.

Thank you so much to Michael for checking in. The last one this week comes from Bob. Macbobbobit Bob McBobbiddy Bobbington. Yes. A.K. Rear Vice Admiral of the Mole Navy, Inland, Narrow Surface Division. Offering a brag. Ooh, we love a brag. Welcome all brags.

Bob Wrights. I just paid off my mortgage, bitches. Woo! Holy shit, Bob. Huge, Bob. When I first saw that, I thought it said, I've just got a mortgage. And I'm like, whoa. Still, that'd be something.

I know, paid it off. Paid it off. In this economy? Oh, my God. Holy shit. Did you win the lottery, Bob? Well done, Bob. Bob says, we still haven't finished decorating or sorting the garden after a decade,

but maybe it'll be done before the young whippersnappers on do go on and get to my age. Now I have less outgoings. I can start seriously thinking about giving up my job at some point to sell things I make from wood and metal in a few years. That's so cool. How free. Stuff like trinket boxes with inlays and large garden versions of games like four in a row and Kaplunk. Oh, awesome.

I also keep thinking about doing wood inlay art things along the lines of your podcast artwork in wood as an example. But I also want a boat. So yeah, decisions, decisions. Oh, that's awesome, though. By the way, please don't you guys retire before my body ceases to function, as there are only so many times I can re-listen to each episode. before I remember them too well. And do go on is so good, it has ruined most other podcasts for me.

Anyway, Tootlepip, landlubbers. P.S., I've seen Matt and Dave stand-up shows either in real life or on YouTube, but not Jess's. Those shorts don't count. So please do record one, Jess, so we can complete the trifecta. And yes, I vaguely recall you maybe said you gave that up. But can I bribe you with cute catpicks? We haven't had a dog

so I can't offer dog pics listener campaign. Yeah, cat picks are going to do fuck all for me. I'm going to push her feather into retirement. I also have Google. I can look up cute cats any time. We're going to have to talk money, Bob. Do the words cha-ching

meaning to you? Maybe a little contra. You give us a little outdoor Kplunk set just to give you a more stand-up set. Maybe a giant version of Finska. A giant one. You got to throw a log at him. Well, what are you going to throw me at it?

Oh, we roll Dave. Piff Dave. We call it Piff Dave. Piff Dave. We get Dave Lorry from Tasmania to come up. Oh, and he could Piff you. He could piss me. Dave.

Dave Pissed Dave. He was deadlifting 265 kilos the other day. That's unbelievable. I saw on TikTok and I thought, that's crazy. That's crazy. Meanwhile, I was bragging, having done 55 kilos. I think it's unnecessary as well. He's becoming a shape that's not a human shape.

He came of the 200th and we would hang out and I'm like, you're not a man anymore. You're a mountain. Wow. That's beautiful. But good on him. Good on that spherical man. I reckon you might just be.

He rolled his way out of there. Little intimidated, Matt. Little intimidated. Me intimidated by him. In every way. Easily. He could force you to marry. He's a celebrant.

That's what one of the other patrons there was joking that what happens at his ceremonies. He lifts the couple up in front of me, says it, say I do or else, now kiss. Like he's playing with dolls. Oh, I love you. Yes, Mr. Loring. Thank you so much to Bob, Michael and Kevin. The next thing we do is shoutouts, a few of our other more recent patron supporters who sign up on the shoutout level or above.

Jess normally comes up with a game based on the topic usually or otherwise. Well, especially because I remember so many of the details of this report. Was your report, right? Yeah. Does that mean anything? No. Well, it should mean something. It's about time travel.

Yes. Radio show. Where they time travel to. Oh, great. When they time travel. When. Oh, way. Much like my video game, where in time is Carmen San Diego.

Okay. So you go on when and where? Do you want, what part do you want to do? Do you want to do the time and place or do you want to do, you want to read out names? I want to do, I think Dave should read names. Is that because he's seen the first one? Yes. And then.

He does do a bit of Icelandic. And then what if you do? I'll do time. You do place. Okay. Great. When are you saying time? Are you just going to.

a year? Yeah. That's so easy. Oh. Dave, what happened? We've joined this episode right on the back of news. Do you think that feels very Kia aura? Do you know what I mean?

I do. I do know what you mean. That feels like you'll come back to Australia. That doesn't feel very Kia aura to me. Dave, you come back to Australia and you're being an asshole. Oh, sorry. Get some of that Kiwi spirit going. I've already raised women up here.

Sorry, I think you've misunderstood. interpreted my Kia aura. What would you like me to do then? No, honestly, I was praising how smart it was that you've got it. So I have to attempt an Icelandic name. Man has to think of something creative and you just get to say a year. Hats off to you. Thank you.

She's creating a year out of nothing. I've got to think of an entire year. Yeah, okay, that's hard. Okay, so like... You can be more specific if you want to. Dave, let's kick it off. And maybe I will. Yeah.

God. Come on, Davey boy. She won't. Hit us up. She'll do the bare minimum and you know it. You could do this list in reverse order if you want to finish with the big one. Okay, let's sit there. Let's finish with the big one.

A warm up. Give yourself a bit of time to practice. I'll warm up with my Icelandic. First up, I'd like to think from a location that is unknown to us, they are probably deep within the fortress of the malls right here right now. And thank you to David Favra. David Favra has time traveled to 1901. January. There you go.

Don't fuck you. Of course. Summer of 1901. The Federation of Australia celebrations. Great. I don't know what the big ones were. Probably in Sydney. Camber didn't exist yet.

Yeah, probably Sydney. So I'll send him to Sydney. Nice. Okay, until the next one, Dave. Pre-bridge. Pre-opry house. All right. Oh, what's it?

Yeah, it's a wasteland. What is it? If it's not that, what is it? It's a big country town or something. Yeah, okay, no, sorry. Beautiful beaches? Yuck. Flind Street Station, was that there yet?

That's there. I go, yeah, we got that. Fed Square? Yeah, that was there. What was the Federation? What was there for? Exactly right. Yeah, I'm sending him to the location of Federation Square, which at the time might

have been a car park or something. Probably not a car park and not anyone. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Next one. Next up from Gray's Lake, Illinois in the United States. It's Sumia, S-U-M-Y-A. Sumia.

Going all the way back to 2007. Oh, perfect, because they're going to 2007 to the set of Grey's Anatomy. Oh, good one. I hope you like bangs. Yeah, I've never seen it, so I don't know. Is that a fellow, okay, right. I thought that might have been a bangs in 2007. I thought it might have been a great's anatomy reference.

I mean, people have bangs. But was it fashionable? Yes or no? Well, I mean, fashion is quite subjective. Yeah, I'm not saying it was fashionable. Fucking hell. Oh, Sumia, I hope you enjoy. You go for Jess and this is what happened.

You're never going to believe it. It's still going. Next up from, you look around the set and go, this show? Next up from Brunfield, Brunfield in Colorado, James Meek. James Meek, hopping into the time machine, going back to 11 AD. Oh, 11A. Interestingly enough, and the time doesn't quite line up. But that's because of accurately it is, but the way times been.

and Jesus is only 11 then, but this is actually when he did the speech saying the Meek would inherit the earth and he was there to witness that on... Oh, wow. Was that the sermon on the mound? Sure. Yeah, that was what he is.

Is that where he said the Meek thing? Probably. Yeah. I mean, how many times did he speak to people? I mean, and it's all definitely real. Exactly. Thank you, James Meek. I have a fantastic choice.

Oh, my God, Grazen Anatomy started in 2005. It worked. We are... We are good. Next up from Ireland, sorry, from Netherlands in Texas, Netherlands. Netherland. Yeah, Netherlands Ranch. It's Iris Alexander.

That's a beautiful name. Iris, popping into the, just going, like going to the shops, just quickly popping down to 1972. Oh, wow. Going to see, 1972, going to see, 1972, going to see. see, uh, were wings around yet,

Dave, the band the Beatles could have been? Yeah, I reckon I think that's early, I reckon maybe saw an early, early wings gig or maybe just Paul McCarney. Maybe just saw, like,

went to Paul McCartney's house. Yeah, great. Oh, great. Yeah, you would have, yeah, wings acted from 1971.

Yeah, yeah, cool. Went to Paul McCartney's house. And he said, Oh, doing a show with, uh,

new band Wings, if you. And I said, I'm, I'm good. I said, no thanks, I've got to get back to Texas. Narayan. Next up from Boon.

Boon. That's truly a boon for the podcast. From North Carolina. Place that I believe that Venus flyt traps from. Venus flops from and this will do minigolf course. Oh, yeah. Maybe the first. One of the first, exactly.

Definitely one of them. It's Michael Urb. Michael Urb. Oh, Arugula? Making sure I was saying Herb correctly. Michael Herb. Erb. Michael is hopping into the time machine to go to the year 2046.

Oh, into the future. Fantastic. I forgot that that. I didn't, I forgot about that too. 2046, actually going to the live, what, maybe 2004, 4,000th episode. Dave, do the math. Do go on episode. Whoa.

Really? the MCG. Wow. Do you reckon? That's a big gap. What episode will it be in 2046? What we do? 20 years from now?

1,000. 40. It'll be about mid-15, late 1500s, early 1600s. Yeah. You said 4,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to do it. It's going to be the 2000s episode because at one point we got it by weekly episodes.

Yeah, okay, great. At some point, at the time that it's appropriate. Yeah, problem. Let's say next week. Good on your market. from Liverpool in Great Britain. It's Alistair Reed. Alistair Reed.

Heading back this time to 1769. Oh, very nice. And Michael Ray, Alistair Reid, sorry, went to, you tried to go to the Great Library of Alexandria for that was gone. So he went to the pretty good library. of Alexandria. And he, um, uh, obviously in that year, you know, he's going straight to the sex section. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And he, sorry, it's like, the cell section of the library. This is pretty good. It's pretty good. But imagine how good the old one would have been. How sexy that scrolls would be in. Oh, my God. That would have been sexy scrawls.

Oh, I was an unfil one. I go, oh. Oh, God, I don't fail. We're going to roll that back up. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Alist. From Olympia in Washington, Matthew Butler. Matthew Butler

Matthew Butler Matthew Butler Forward or back? Oh, we've only going forward once. Going forward to the year 3000. Wake me up in the year 3000. And goes to visit Lila from Futurama. Oh yeah.

Which begins in the year 3000, I think. Is that right? Around then, maybe 301. But yeah, Leela and. Dr. Farnsworth and the gang, Professor Farnsworth even. Yes, he just goes and hangs out, gets a job at Planet Express. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, really cool.

Enjoy. Yeah, really cool. Actually, yeah. Second last from Norwalk. You're cute. From Norwalk in the great state of Connecticut. English Prevo. English Prevo.

going back to 1609 1609 Shakespeare I think that's almost when James takes over Is that right Dave I'm going to say Goes to the

See a Shakespeare play Am I right? Yeah that's seven years to go I was like I was thinking goes back to the globe English probably I went goes back to the globe to see a Shakespeare play

but I couldn't, I didn't know what year that was. I couldn't be able to Googling, so I just made up a year, and you went to Shakespeare. And you got it. Whoa. We're syncing up. It's crazy. It is crazy. We should buy a lottery ticket.

We should at the same time. Yeah. We'll say the numbers. Seven. One. 18. 18. Okay, good.

I'm writing this down. Sirty. Okay. So. Oh my God. We also have matching speech impediments. We're absolutely 13 about this. All right.

We've worked away up to the big one. Okay. From Reykjavik in Iceland. Thank you so much for supporting the show. Ranvig Sigur-vinsdottier. Ooh. I'll say I'll say it really quick. Okay, sure.

Radovig Siga Vinsdottier. Oh, fantastic, man. Yeah, I reckon that's probably an absolute butchering. Dave, weig. Offensively, sooner. Dave, can you please organise an Iceland show in my next to her over there? I reckon we do go back to Berlin. We'd go do Reykavik as well.

I'd like Rakevik or Paris or something. I think it would be a pretty small show, but there's a few people in Iceland. Okay. Maybe we get 40 people out. Maybe, how do you get 40? 30 people? What if we just... He's dropping by the second.

What if we just had that someone's house? No, I didn't hear as I was yawning. Oh, sorry. We could... We could do it at Renvig's house. Yeah, just like somebody who hosts us. Oh, that's fun. It's more like a...

It's a pretty informal hang. Yeah, but it's still tax deductible for us. And people have to buy tickets. Yeah, they do need to buy tickets. Probably not the host. Renvi gets one free ticket. One. A plus one.

For them's house. No, a plus one. Everyone else from the house. It does have to buy it. It has to leave and come back in. Yes. No freebies. Yes.

And we have to go at a time when we can see the Northern Lights. Yeah. Oh my God. What the fuck is the point otherwise? I reckon we get a few people to travel to that, if Northern Lights are involved. If they give them enough time. Remember the Berlin show sold out quicker than the rest of the tour and it was from people all over Europe. That's right.

I've just typed in that. Rakee Vic Comedy Club and TripAdvisor comes up with the best, all capitals, Reckyvic Comedy Club's 2026. It goes down to two. This two? Yeah. Okay. Well, what's, I mean, do we even bother you trying over the best?

Let's just start where we know we're at the worst. Someone's house. Okay, the second best. Yeah. Love it. Awesome. I'll look into it, everyone. And now, do we give Ran Vig?

No. Sorry, Renvig, you've inspired us to visit you, but what year are they traveling to? They are traveling to the year 4,000 and three. Oh, 4003. Yeah. 4,03, well... Just to see if this global warming thing's real. Well, the cool thing is they're going to be the only human.

Probably the last human. That's something. But there's all these kind of animals have risen up and they've become... The puffins have taken over Iceland. Well, and they're just sort of like slightly evolving. I don't know if a couple thousand years is enough time to like do any crazy evolutions. Sure. I'm not Darwin, okay?

But it really does take it greatly. leap forward X-Men style only there's no men. I mean, all men are X-Men because men don't exist anymore. And, yeah, so it goes there and just like really lives in harmony with everyone. It's actually really beautiful. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah, it's really nice. Looking forward to that.

Oh, I'm really happy to hear that. Yeah. Yeah, can we come? Please. Thank you so much to Renvig, English, Matthew, Alster, Michael, Iris, James. Sumia and David. And then finally, we've got the Triptitch Club, Dave. What is this about?

This is our Hall of Fame, basically, a clubhouse to induct people into who have been supporting the show on the Shatter level or above for three consecutive years. We welcome them in. Your name goes up on the honor roll. And then once you're inside, you can never leave. But why would you want to? Because we've got everything covered. We've got entertainment, food, drinks.

The toilets are working. again, is that correct? Yes, I just had the plumber come out. Thank good. Honestly, we're great. And he has passed on a, um, Oh, rest in peace. No, no, no, sorry, to me, he's passed on a referral to a dietitian because he says, I should not be clogging toilets quite this much. I gave him a big tip. And, uh, I think we should possibly keep him on retainer. I think a good Google review at a minimum. Yeah, at a good, yeah, five. No, I think just, just fix up that diet. Um, I'm glad he said I didn't have the guts too.

I've got the guts. You certainly do. Desa, can we look forward to something healthier because you always organize a snack or a drink? Yeah, I love carrots. Just carrots. Yeah, well, you want something healthier. I've got plenty of good stuff, but you want healthy, so have a carrot. I don't want healthy.

Well, that's what you asked for. Not me? I'll deep fry your carrots. Thank you. That would actually be really nice. And I always book a band. You never going to believe I've got this week. Oh, you got.

On this episode about John Tider, I've got Foo Fighters. Oh. Can you believe what are the chances? That's amazing. Davey Groley and the boys said yes to that. Have we had the Foo Fighters before? Probably. Yeah.

Probably on the Beaconsfield Mine episode looking back. Yeah, probably. But you know what? Good to have them back then. I thought maybe Tardis might have been playing. Who's Titus? It doesn't matter then. No, we've got Foo Fighters.

To make it different. Dave is going to be playing the drums. Right. Whoever the drummer is now is going to be as good. Cool. But it'll be good. Great. Well, I hope you've told the band that the toilets are working.

That's why they said yes. Great. That's why they didn't want to come back. Because a Pat Schmere will only poo in a toilet. What a diva. You know, this is embarrassing. I did not get the... I just thought that was his name.

Patsmere. Is it a joke name? Yeah. Really? Like Papsmere, I guess. That is... That's a joke name? I just thought it was an unfortunate.

It's not his real name. Oh, wow. That sucks. I said Titus. Is it Titus? Oh, yeah. Yes. Apologies, Titus.

Tittus. Oh, that's why I didn't come up when I was emailing people based on the episode. Yes. Poo fighters. Would you guess? Poo fighters. Ahead of time, don't you? Yeah, obviously, the fru fighters, they only come out every couple of years because they're so busy.

So, yeah, but poo fighters will be here. I'm on the door. Is that fair to say? Yes. This is the center of the mind stuff. I'm on the door. I've got a guest list of three for the Tripditch Club and would you believe it,

a guest list of two for the triple triptage club for people who've been on the shoutout level or above for nine straight years. Crazy. But first we're going to let people in to the Tripditch Club and the way this works is I'll read out your place and then your name. And then if you go, well, both of those are me.

Yep. head on in, I'll lift up the velvet robe, you go in, Dave's up on stage, he's hopping up the thousand plus people already in there because once you're in, you can never leave, and he, Dave will really be ramping them up with excitement based on some weak wordplay of your name or your place, and Jess will be hopping up Dave because in this bit, we pretend he has low self-esteem, which is obviously a bit of fun. He's the most confident, self-confident man in the world. So...

Top two. So without further ado, shall we? Let's. All right. Hang on, I don't have my hand on Dave's butt. Okay. Oh, there it is. There's that comfortable feel.

I knew something was off. Now I'm ready. All right. First up from Webster Groves in M.O. in the United States. Montana is it? Montana. Was that any man?

We've had this before. Every time. It's Missouri. Missouri. It absolutely screws us this one. M.O. does not say Missouri to me. Anyway, from Webster Groves in Missouri, please welcome me into the club.

The fantastically named Sarah Valdhusen Steely. Sarah's stolen my heart. Yeah, you're thief. You steal me this heart. Thank you so much to Sarah. Next up, or Sarah, probably Sarah. Next up from Sheerness in maybe Kensington or Ken from Ken in Great Britain. Oh my goodness.

Please welcome in Ginger Animator. You ain't no winja. You're a ginger. Fantastic. Welcome in. Make yourselves at home. Grab a carrot. And finally from O'Hunga in Auckland, New Zealand,

welcome in to Derr Club, Jenna Brockchazak. I'm going to give you a score of Jen out of Jenna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time. Can you say the surname and the play? place for me. Just give us a second option.

City. Oni hunger, maybe? AJ, I'll fix this in post, sorry. AJ, jump in if you want to. Orny hunger. And, yeah, I think Brocksec sounds pretty quick. 10 out of 10. Welcome in, Jenna, Ginger and Sarah.

Grab yourselves a drink and a carrot. And, yeah, get ready for Davy Grohl and Du Bois. And Du Bois, including... Patchmere. Patchmere. And that leaves just one thing to do, and that is to welcome two people in the triple triptitch club. For this one, you get to go into a new separate section

of the Theoremian Triptitch Club. It's got a gold door. And inside, we've still got Leonardo DiCaprio painting portraits, and he'll paint them in any style you like, like a French girl or, you know. Or other. Yeah, it could be finger painting, could be, you know, photo realistic he does it all.

He's very talented. And yes, you also get a compliment from Dave, get a kiss from Jess, and I will give you an episode from our back catalog to be the official custodian of. I think Jess, always there when I need you. So, without further ado, are we ready? Dave, you ready?

Absolutely. I've looked up some inspiring short phrases. Oh, you've already... They're not things that come now. Actually do you, are they? He's the most self-confident man, but he doesn't know how to instill confidence in this. How about this? Just do it.

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It's easy for me. Why isn't it easy for you? Dave's a boomer. All right, first up, Yep. From. And I'll be saluting this whole time.

Yep, great. From Saint Olaf. Apologies for the pronunciation in Sweden. Welcome into the club, Lucas Lundval. Lucas, no one is you, and that is your superpower. Salute. Oh, no, that's what? You're the one next to it?

Keep going. That's not bad. What is this website you've looked out? Yeah, I think you were better with Eurifian. Hang on, can I get silence on set for my kiss for Lucas, please? Oh, beautiful kiss. And Lucas, you are getting, or we're trusting you with episode 32, MySpace. Ooh.

Say out of time for me. Yeah. Listen back and see how many times I probably said, Justin Timberlake said, take off the the. It's great that back then, every topic was available. It's, yeah, it's funny we did, MySpace. We've never done on Facebook or Twitter or. Yeah. But MySpace, Tom.

Has he been milkshake ducked yet? I think he just took his money off into the sunset. Yeah. Taking photos around the world. And finally, from Sudbury in Suffolk in Great Britain, sorry. It's John Paul Hall. John Paul Horr, you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Oh, that all sounds.

of like James Bond titles. That's a, that does, isn't it? That's a quote from May West, and my quote to you is, salute. And John Paul. If you do it right, once is enough. Yeah. That's Dave's motto, isn't it? Yeah.

So far so good. And John Paul, you are being trusted by us to look after episode number 33, the Titanic. Oh, yeah. I went for a, just a small, easy topic for... Yeah, that's a big end. Yeah. It was a long app and I didn't get it all in there. I think we considered it long back then and it was about an hour and a half.

We were like, geez, Louise. That's the longest episode we'll ever do. Well, we were wrong. Thank you so much. Make yourselves at home, John Paul and Lucas. Let me introduce you to... What's that guy's name again? DiCaprio.

Yeah. And, yeah, let's party on into the night. Now, Jess, is there anything we need to sell people before we go? That we bloody love them. Okay. That you can suggest a topic. There's a link in the show notes. And you can also go to our website, which is do go onpod.com.

And you can find us on social media. Do go on pod. And do go on podcast on TikTok. Dave, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. And goodbye. Later.

Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree, very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you.

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