Do Go On - 562 - The Most Expensive Gay Porno Ever Made

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

In 1980 a chance meeting between a talented young film maker and a millionaire philanthropist led to the making of 'Centurians of Rome', the most expensive gay porn film of all time (at that time), and the story is wild, enjoy!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:15 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://deadline.com/2019/04/daily-beast-george-bosque-article-gay-porn-movie-hacksaw-ridge-valparaiso-1202592825/https://www.thedailybeast.com/centurians-of-rome-how-a-bank-robber-made-the-most-expensive-gay-porno-flick-of-all-time/https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285474/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen up, nerds, because we have some updates for you. Particularly if you live in Canada. Nerds. And in Toronto, if you're a Torontoian nerd, we've added an extra show in Toronto. Our first show live at the Royal Theatre on September 20 is nearly sold out. So we're adding an extra show straight afterwards. And guess what? It's the annual Christmas special.

Woo! Yes! So that's very, very exciting. We're also doing shows, of course, in Vancouver. That's almost sold out as well. Calgary are still a lot of tickets there left. And Montreal, quite a few tickets too. Is it the Calgary?

Do you think there's tickets available because we're saying their name wrong? And they're like, oh, I wish she was coming to Calgary. Never heard of Calgary. And you can get tickets to all those shows, including the new one. Do Go OnPod.com. And Matt, I believe you have some news too. Yes, very excited. The 200th episode of Who Knew at Matt Stewart is out now.

You two are guests, Mish Whitrop and Ben Russell, all favorites of our little network. And we had a great time. People are saying it's a lot of fun. It was so fun. And if you, I mean, there's 200 episodes to listen to. Yeah. That's a good one to get involved in if you haven't tuned in before. Just a bit of fun.

It's a quiz show where a bit of mucking around, a bit of bluffing, but it's mostly just having fun. And friendship. Friends, fun, a third F word. Fuck you. Hello and welcome to another episode of Doogh One. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always. I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello.

Hey, how's it going? Quick plug. Who knew with Matt's shoot just did 200 episodes recently to a live show with the three of us. Plus Ben Russell and Mish Whitchip out now. Check it out. 200 weeks young, your beautiful podcast, you're new with Masteridge. You've never heard it before. It is a comedy quiz show where Matt has written the or challenged the guests to write the wrong answers to the questions.

That's right. It's really fun. It is so fun. And you've had so, one of the most impressive things is one that's a great. show. Two, you've done it every week for 200 weeks. And how many guests you've had over those? Yeah.

Yeah, pretty. It's amazing looking back, isn't it? Yeah. Wild. But yeah, it was funny. It was funny. I was only on stage as we were doing that I realized that this is only our second podcast to make to 200 because, yeah, most of them are either sporadic or, what do you call it, seasonal

or not weekly. So it takes ages to 200 normally. It's a long time. It has to be a week. weekly podcast, like primates didn't get, it's still like in the 160s. Yeah, right. So yeah, it is. I'm like, oh, it's funny.

Just writes a rom-com topped out at 30. Yeah. And went, I'm done. Much like everything you do, quality over quantity. That's right. That's right. I went, well, I've perfected podcasting. Yes.

It's time to put it to bed. Which is that, yeah, my family friend Mick, the dairy farmer at the 200th episode, he was there. And he said after the show, he said, at Jess, she spoke less than everyone else, but everything she said was fantastic. And that's rare. That's normally Mick, I'm taking swings and I'm missing them.

Can I just say your one joke was really good? Thank you so much. It was good, wasn't it? It's memorable because it was only one of them. Yeah, you went out on top. Half or two, she said something really funny and went, that's it. Great. See you later.

You put the mic down. Yeah, I walked off. Yeah. I enjoyed the show as an audience member. It was fantastic. No, it was a really fun live show. Yeah, people got to check that out. Yeah, it was just in the front of mind because we were just looking about it before we start recording.

Anyway, Dave, what's this show? What's it about? This show is Do-Go One, and we've got to 200 many, many, many years ago. This show is all about the three of us getting together every single week, and one of us has written a report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, bathe in the research, right up a little something. We've never said it like that. You know, you shake off the dressing gown and a little bits of story.

comes out here and there. Okay. I was thinking I was going too smoothly, so I sort of had to derail myself a little bit there. Sure, sure, sure. So it's Matt's turn this week, basically, to tell us a story from some time in history, and we always start with a question,

because Jess and I, we actually have no idea what you're going to talk about. Yeah, well. And I won't by the end either. Or definitely not next week. My question is, what word can mean both professional officer in the ancient Roman army

and also a modern drinking game? Centurion. Correct. Well done. Good one. Yes. Great question. Thank you so much.

You don't complement each other's questions enough. That was a really good one. Well, that means a lot. I almost feel like I could have gotten there from the drinking game. Yeah. Eventually. Nah, probably not of it. Yeah, maybe.

With there some extra clues, I think. Was it never have I ever? Was it King's Cup? Yeah, yeah. Oh, waterfall. Centurion. So the idea of Centurion, the drinking game was 100 shots, right? A hundred bit of beer.

So it's not 100 shots of liquor or wood feet. But in a hundred minutes, so every minute you've got to do. Have you done it? I remember the first time I played. I only played a handful of times. A handful. And it was so many. You know, it was like, it was all within this period.

For some reason, it became a thing to do in our group friends. But I thought, this sounds a shot of beer. That's not very much. Every minute. And someone about it. It's something about how you're knocking it down. and I don't know what it is about it, but it... You know, I think a big part of it is,

because you're pouring it into the cup, oh, into the little shot, because I've only done it once, and I think I spewed, which is really rare for an... Enough spewed. It's not rare for Century. Yeah. But every time you pour it out,

it's not like having a sit from a drink. It's every time a froth comes into the cup, too. So I think you drink way more froth than usual. Yeah, something about the air and stuff, isn't it, that I see. Like, you just poured a new drink every time. And you don't, there's no time for it to settle. You just go bang.

Oh, okay. The big mistake I made one time I played it, I did it with, the first time it was just like Carlton Draft or whatever. And I made it to 101 just in case there was a miscount. I'm like, I'm doing one more just in case. That's good. And then the other time, the one that was a real mistake was when I drank this limited edition, Bogues, Honey Porter. So I was like this high higher alcohol. You wasted all century.

Thick brown. And, yeah, I did not make it very... Sounds awful. You're just like, like, undone. Rewaned a friend's white couch. Oh, you shat yourself. After 40 shots of beer and you shat yourself. That's weird.

That's embarrassing. Gluten intolerance or something, maybe. I guess. Yeah, wow. Anyway, awful. Imagery to start this episode. I could have just stood up. Just go to the taunt. What are you doing?

No, no, no, no. There's another shot coming in a minute. I can't get up. I'd rather shit myself and keep drinking. Oh, you know, I could ruin it in all sorts of ways. I ruined it by lifting it and throwing it out the window. Why did you do that? That's ridiculous, Matt.

Well, I've got the porter rage. I bet. The old honey port of rage, everyone gets it. At that point, they would have just preferred you'd chat on it. I know. That would have been the gentleman's a thing to do. Anyway, today, I mean, you'd be none the wiser is what the topic's about. But you're right.

It is Centurion, and this week we are learning about Centurion. Centurions of Rome, the most expensive gay adult film of all time at the time. Yes. Why, you've heard of this? No, but I'm just excited by the prospect. Centurions of Rome, the most expensive... Gay erotic film. I'm excited to.

I am. At the time. Obviously, every week the record goes up these days. Yeah, and when inflation and stuff, I wonder what it would be for... Inflation. A lot of inflation in the pornos. Yeah, there's something in that, yeah. Yeah.

It costs more and more to get me inflated every week. Yeah. Has your age. It costs more. Who? I'm spending so much now. He needs a team. They're hourly rates and you're going to pay the super.

That's right. Come on. My God, they formed a union. It's awful. And you'll leave. They're taking maternity leave. Yeah. Come on.

You don't even need a fluffer. They're just getting it done. Some of us can't just get it down. Yeah, you're rubbing it in. Now I'm thinking about it and I'm going, I'm deflated. Thanks a lot. Great. You got my head.

We'll try to get next week. So the main source for this story is a deep dive article in the Daily Beast from 2019 by Ashley West and April Hall, which I'll quote from a vote, but it is the, you know, the source for this story. It was known about the movie, but they documented it. it very well. Awesome. If you want the full story, read that. And maybe I'll just say now,

they, a month after the article came out, someone bought the rights to the, make it a film. No way. So, you know, it's a pretty good story. Yeah, cool. Including the producer of Face Off. Really? Wow.

And I don't think it's come to anything as yet, from what I could tell. Because you've recently watched Face Off. Is that because of this? No, You messes in the group the other day saying, I'm watching face off and I thought of you, Dave. Yeah, that's right. Which was such an honour.

It is nice that, yeah. Taking a face. And that's when, yeah, Matt was like, I'm not sure why I felt the need to tell you that. And I was like, it's our codependency. Like, we love to update each other on things we're doing. Hey, just saw this. Pretty cool. Pretty cool.

And the other two go, that's cool. Yeah. The subject is, I've got no one else to tell. You are my only friends. Sorry, this is funny, is it? You said it out loud to whoever you're with, and they've gone, hmm, you go, okay, that could get more. I'll send it to the group.

This deserves more. They'll get it. They'll get it. They'll love it. They'll add to it. So I'm taking you back to the year 1980. It's New York City, baby, the big apple. I've heard of it.

Okay, I'm walking. So the idea for this film was born out of a chance meeting between a talented young filmmaker named Chris Covino and a millionaire businessman and philanthropist named J.R. Lewis. Don't you reckon philanthropist? It doesn't sound good. It sounds like an insult, but it's a good thing.

Do you think that? Or am I wrong? Sometimes when it's like, maybe it's like philander. Yeah. But philanthropist, it always like, should he be on a rock? And Dr. Phil.

Should you be on a list? You know what I mean? Yeah. But then Phil Collins. Very good. At the time of recording. Is it just because you hear it. and you think, well, I mean, maybe you should just pay tax.

Yes. Yeah, rather than the sideware your money, you know? Maybe you actually pay tax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that goes to hospitals anyway, you know that? Well, what, yeah, one of the money they spend is to groups who pressure the government into reducing tax. That's a really beautiful cycle. I love.

It's a great system. Yeah, it works well for everyone. Yeah. So, yeah, so these are two of the main characters. So J.R. Lewis is our millionaire. J.R. Lewis, the millionaire and Chris Covino, the talented young filmmaker. Okay. In the 1980s, in the 70s as well, to be honest, New York City has a thriving gay scene made up of Times Square adult theaters, often, you know, playing regular adult films, as well as a booming bar and bathhouse scene.

Covino was 27, but already a veteran. of the New York pornographic film scene where he met Lewis. Coming up through his university theatre group, he developed an interest in the film industry and after graduating saw the adult film industry as a way of cutting his teeth before taking that experience to Hollywood to make it in mainstream media.

Is that a common journey? I don't think it is that common. I don't think it is. I guess it was just the time and place. It was a booming scene. Now it's, you know, you're making stuff on YouTube. Yes, exactly. right there back then. So you've got to find something that is regularly making movies.

And porn is. And this guy was, yeah, he would probably have been better suited today in a lot of ways. Well, it sounds like he was so talented, he would have made anything pretty good. But he was really into like comedy and writing sketches coming up through uni. So short form internet content would have been right up his alley. He was a big Monty Python fan and that sort of stuff. But anyway, because of Because he wanted to transition from one A sort of a more underground cinema to mainstream He used a false name

But I'm going to call him by his real name In Henry Bravo Well he sort of Yeah, once he asked That was just straight off my diary And it got nothing from either of you So don't now say it was good

Because it obviously wasn't Because I was trying to think of a porn name too I don't know why I went Henry. I could probably do better than Henry, but Bravo is fantastic. Hank's short for Henry and that's a great. Hank Bravo. Hank Bravo. I love that.

Yeah. Is Hank sure for Henry? Doesn't matter. I think it is. Something like that. Whatever. He went with... He was so short for thank.

He went for a really dull one. He went for Christopher John. Christopher John. Oh, no. Too innocent. Too sweet. Yeah. You want someone who's Hank Bravo.

Yeah. Well, endowed. And knows what to do with it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I know he's not a pawn after himself. Yeah, he's bought the seeds, you know. Oh, yeah, because I was thinking like Stephen Fist, but that doesn't work.

It can. Yeah. Okay, so we're Hank Bravo and Stephen Fist. So it doesn't need to be not, maybe not say one of it, Ricky Fist. No, not Ricky. Ricky. Ricky the Fist sounds like it's a, you know, a gangster. Yeah, you're a mob boss.

No, Rick Fist, no. Stephen Fist. Ricky Fist feels, Ricky Fist feels, Ricky Fist. feels like a little boy. I want a grown man working in the porn industry, please. So, but Rick Fist. Ricky the Twink. Oh, fuck, that's good.

That's good. That's really, Albert Fist. Because it's just like Albert Fist. Yeah, that's a serial killer. Really? You didn't think of that. No, Burt Fist. Bert Fist. Freddie Fist.

Oh, we're onto something. Now we get somewhere. Okay, sorry, Matt. Digger one. I shouldn't have competed with Hank Bravo. Yeah. Hank Bravo. We started with the best.

That was great. And I'm guessing, because he was thinking of the future, he went Christopher John. It's like not that memorable. Yeah. He doesn't want to. And he sort of doesn't do interviews and stuff. He's trying to keep a low profile for that reason. Because he just, he sees himself in Hollywood.

Yeah. Though Kavino was gay, he was only comfortable making straight out adult films to some reason. Perhaps because he was not out to his family back home in New Jersey. But he didn't tell them about the porn stuff at all. Yeah, so it doesn't really matter that, yeah, but okay. But maybe you can, like, you're not getting horny on set. You can be a bit more professional. Oh, true.

That's a really good point. You're like, you're just directing people and you're not into it. I feel like you'd be pretty numb to that, so pretty quickly. Don't you think it would become business, pretty quick. Not for me. Oh, no, no, no. I'd be horny all day. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day life.

That's true. But he hated this. He's like, ugh. Yuck. Yuck, women. But there'd still be a naked man. Yeah. He's a close left eye.

Apparently his siblings would come and stay with him in New York and they'd leave having no idea that he worked in porn. So he hit it quite well. Okay. And he was often offered good money to cross over it into gay porn, but he always turned it down. Oh, interesting. He's like, I don't know why, but he just didn't want to do that.

But that was until the mysterious millionaire, J.R. Lewis, made him an offer. He couldn't refuse. According to Western Hall, Kavino was a regular at sex clubs like, how good are these names? The ramrod, the mine shaft and the toilet. Living a lusty and carefree existence. God, nothing gets me hornier than a toilet. The toilet. Wait, I want to meet me tonight at the toilet.

Which one? Oh, no, the toilet. The toilet. Now his name Christopher John makes more sense. Yeah, but imagine, like, in your wedding vows of being like, when I first laid eyes on you at the toilet. I knew I wanted to take you to the Mineshaft. How did you guys meet when we met at the toilet?

Oh, that's the story is the oldest time. Oh, really? The old-fashioned way. Used to get a ramrod. Ramrod's awesome. Yeah, those are great names. And it was probably at one of these kind of clubs that Lewis and Covino connected.

Lewis was new to the city and Keenade get involved in the scene. And when Covino mentioned he was in the film business, Lewis's ears really pricked up. He asked Kavino how much it might cost to make an all-male film. And Kavana's like, I don't really do that. If I was, and they both talked about it, if we were to do it, it would be a bigger budget thing, like proper classy stuff, more of an epic. And Lewis, when he heard, the budget might be like, it could be 100 grand or something, big cash back then. Lewis's like, yeah, I reckon I could sum up for that.

And Kavino was like... Kavino's like, I should have, I meant to say 200,000. Yeah, it sounds like he's having a conversation like, when people say, what would you do if you won the lottery? Well, I'd probably do this. And this guy's gone, that's doable? Yeah, sure, yeah. Like, that's reasonable.

He's meeting this guy at a bar. And yeah, so he's like, all right, I guess we're making a... I'm finally going to do it. I'll make a gay film. Western Hall, right. Kavino came up with the plot for the movie, focused on two Roman countrymen sold into slavery for not paying their taxes during Caligula's reign as emperor.

Speaking of not paying their taxes? Hey, right what you know? They have to earn their freedom by bewitching their captors. Another tailor's oldest time. They quickly got into pre-production, looking to cast an up-and-coming actor for Octavius, one of the two lead roles. Western Hallwright,

and this is, believe it not, this is a stage name. They cast a guy called Scorpio. That's it, just Scorpio. Just Scorpio. That sounds like a gladiator name. That's awesome. Corvino liked his look saying it was trashy, rebellious, but vulnerable and sensitive as well.

Oh, wow. Scorpio contains multitudes. Now, like I say, birth name was not Scorpio. It was Wilbur James Weiss, so Wilbur James Weiss Jr. I was about to say the third, but that would be his son's name, I suppose. I mean, it is hard to make Wilbur sexy.

Wilbur Weiss. Yeah, Wilbur Wice. Yeah. Does it make J.W. It's like that Wilbur Wild and Frankie J. Holden all in one. Oh, my God. That's what?

Two of the best. What was it? What was it best? What is this? The old 54? What's their band called? Something like that. Something like that.

Old 55? It's 50s. It was like when James Cameron, Cameron James told us about the 50s revival. That was their band was like one of the big Australian bands that, was big with the old slick back hair and whatnot. Anyway, I digress. So, yeah, Wilbur, when he became a stripper, he renamed himself after his star sign

and got a tattoo of a Scorpion on the very same day. He went all in. Wow. I'm Scorpio now. Not fucking about. Hank Scorpio. Unlike Corvino, Scorpio was out with his family. And, like, they were pretty comfortable with it.

According to Western Hall, the oldest of four kids. He was raised in a country trailer park. Dating boys seemed natural to him as a teenager. And it was only when his mother, Mildred, took him aside and told him that he was gay and therefore different to most other boys, did the penny drop.

He was like, oh, he didn't ever, he's just like, yeah, I'd date boys. I didn't ever know that was a difference. I love that. That's such a great way to be. That's how it should be. Yeah, I feel like eventually that's probably out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. But yeah, it should just be like, well, that's who I like. And everyone else goes, cool. Yeah. That's nice. I never even thought of putting a name on this. Yeah, there's a word for it, I guess. I call it living.

Yeah, that's all right. I just call it being me. Western Hall continued. He'd always considered himself to be an exhibitionist, so the work was easy and fun, the stripping work. He started in straight clubs in New Jersey, they moved quickly into gay bars. Before long, he was offered magazine shoots. It paid well and helped him get high-paid stripping work, too.

Soonie was traveling to Long Island, Connecticut, and New York City for dancing gigs, New York, etc. Cool. New York City. Yeah, I love a supportive family. Yeah, love that. I love that his mom had to be like, oh, by the way, sorry, we've got to tell you, there's other people out there that might have an issue with this, but here's the word for, that's very nice. I like that part of it, but I feel like maybe she took it a little too far. the support.

Okay. As Western Hall continued, his mother was his biggest fan. She thought Scorpio was a bona fide star. That's all good. That's nice. She turned up to the gay clubs to see him strip and even made his stripping costumes.

I mean, making the costumes fine. She bought copies of his pictorials and proudly showed them to all her trailer park friends. I feel like that's, I don't know, maybe that is really nice. Here's my naked son.

One of my high school friends. To me, that's a bit much, but maybe I'm a prude. Yeah, Tim Pervert. here. One of my high school friends is now a firefighter and he was in a calendar and his sister

was posting on social media about check out how hot my brother looks in this firefighter calendar. And we went, no, no. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So like I love that she's supportive. Yeah.

And it's your mum. Yeah. You know, she's probably, she's seen you naked before. Nothing I haven't seen before. Exactly right. I bathed you. Yeah. You know, and that's okay.

But you don't have to show pictures to your friends of your hot son. You can be proud in other ways. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I had a hot son. Yes, go on. Can't be proud. No one's saying she can't be proud of having a hot son.

And Dave, if you had a hot son, it would be a fucking miracle. So you should be very proud. Exactly. You should be. Shocked and proud. Yeah. And gratefully got so much of a miracle. and ordering a DNA test.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. But I love this, this, like, beautiful trailer park that they're growing up with. One that he is able to grow up so comfortably. Totally. She's just, like, check this out. That's really sweet. Maybe that's the way it should be, too. Yeah, we should all just be showing our friends, pictures of our siblings and family members bits.

If they're hot. An adult. He's an adult. He's not nude in the photos. Is he? Or is he nude? I assume nude, but maybe not. It was firefighter style and they're just sort of, you know, a bit oily, but they've got jocks on or something.

Whatever. Yeah, okay. Well, but I am on Team Proof. That's the exact scenario I just said about a high school friend of mine. Yeah. And so you're fine with that. You're fine with his sister being like posting on Facebook of like, check out my hot brother. I think it's okay because you know she's not into him in that way.

Do you know it for sure? Maybe you can frame it slightly differently. How cool is this charity shoot my brother's done? Yeah, that's better. Yeah, exactly. In brackets, he's so hot. I'm very proud of my brother, but he's not hot. And shut up.

Yeah, but I mean, if he was hot. Oh, no, that'd be different. Yeah, see, I think you're just jealous. Yeah, yeah, that's true. We can't all have hot brothers. I mean, I've got one. Yeah, and he's got one. No, he doesn't.

Yeah, you've got a hot brother. All right, so yeah, so very supportive. We've got this one of the lead roles, Scorpio, playing, what did I say, his character is called, Octavius, Octavius. Interesting, naming your stage name after your star sign, because Dave and I would be Virgo, the Virgin. Oh, the Virgin. And that's probably not the sexiest kind of stage name for a stripper. Oh, no, actually, no, I take that back.

For a female stripper. Yeah. Guys would like that a lot. For a male stripper, no. As a, hey, can you believe no one wants this? Hey, what do I do with this? I close fell off, where are they? I'm frightened.

Sorry, can you check under the bar? Sorry, I'm just really nervous. You're just so pretty. Can I borrow your t-shirt? It'll fit me. It'll fit me. I'll fit me. I've got anything smaller.

I'm fully grown mad. So, yeah, he was offered the lead role. Big budget film. He'd been getting bits and pieces. He's done a few films in New York, shown at these cinemas there, Times Square or whatever. And he was keen.

Jumped at the chance. The other lead role of Demetrius was to be played by adult George Payne. Play adult George Payne. That was a strange. I'm an adult adult film. Because the way you delivered it to was like, who cares, don't worry about this character. I'm like, well, I want to know about adult George Payne. What's his background?

Did he mess on that? He's played by Adolf George Payne. Don't worry about that. Adult film veteran is what I probably was. Ah, okay. Yeah, the other lead of Demetrius was played by. adult film veteran George Payne. When you say that's what you meant, it's what you just typed in.

Yes. That's an awesome stage name, though, adult George Payne. Okay, I think you're hammering this home a little too much. I'm not going to see some ID, George. Yeah, yeah. No, fully grown adult or pain. I think you protest too much. I was thinking about my star sign being Libra, Libera Fleur.

And I'm like, that's not very sexy unless you're Prince Charles. Anyhow, when Corvino offered him a lead role... I get it. Is he a Libra? No, he sent a text to his wife back in the day saying he wishes he was her tampon. Oh, I remember that now. Libra tampons, got it. Whatever happened to that guy?

That was a good joke that I'm sorry I didn't get. I was having to move on and let the few listeners who got it, enjoy it. But I didn't like it. I didn't like the Dave laughed and I didn't get it, you know? I was like, I don't want to be the odd one out here. Well, I got it for the wrong reason, apparently. I was not calling him Libera. I don't know, Liverpool is funny.

Okay, great. That was just a really supportive laugh. Like, yeah, good on you. Good stuff. Hey, he said something there. Unless you're pretty sure. Well, I thought like, oh, maybe he's a famous Libra and I didn't know that's funny. But yeah, that's, uh, he's just an odd man.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. With sausage hands. Old man, sausage hands. Is that him? Yes. All the world. old leaders have sausage hands.

Yeah. What do you think that means? Too much salt and they die. Is that like lizard people wearing gloves? Yeah, that's right. To get inside the glove. Yeah. It's hard for their little scales.

Yeah. So, Western Hallwright, in the days leading up to the shoot, Covino worked hard to ensure a smooth production. So he writes the whole thing up. He writes this epic script for this, you know, Roman, these Roman slaves. Couldn't pay their taxes.

They're captured. They've got to try. all of a sudden, that's just, we've got to fuck our way out of this. Sure. No, I thought it was bewitching their captains. Are they bewitching them with their dicks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see.

And then, you know, I thought they just had to be charming. I was going to read some of the synopsis, but it's pretty full on. So I thought, you know, if people want to, Wikipedia's got one and others. But I love the idea that it's turned to each other go, you think and I'm thinking, yeah. We've got to fuck our way out of this. And then hard cut to their buck in a montage of them fucking their way out. Well, God, they're not the average. Yeah, it's like, it may as well be like an action scene with, you know, but instead of guns.

They're back to back. They're shooting. So, yeah, he's written up this script. He's working hard, making it smooth, but problems surfaced even before they started shooting. Western Hall, right. To begin with, George Payne was unhappy with the amount of oral sex he was asked to do. This is the adult veteran George Payne. I mean, you don't ask George Payne to do that.

He's paid his dues. Apparently bristled with hostility if anyone suggested he should have a bottom in any scene as well. He complained, moaned and protested. Some of that would have been good on camera, I suppose. But ever the professional, he was somehow always ready for anything when push came to show. As soon as that camera clicked, he's in. He's a pro. He's like, I didn't want this to be, but you know what, hey, I got a job to do.

Some people kind of. Some people kind of need to have a whinge in order to motivate themselves to do things, you know? Yes, yes, yes. Back when I, there was a woman I used to do like personal training with and she would complain about every single exercise and I can't do that. Wait, how dare you? Then she'd do it easily. You know? That's what she needed.

Part of sucking herself into it. Yeah, she was a pain in the ass, but it's what she needed. So maybe he's just going, oh, I don't want to suck another dick. All right, I'll do it. Oh, geez. Come here. I'm an adult veteran. Okay.

Okay. If anything, I shouldn't be having my dick suck, I suppose. I'm an adult George Payne. Yes. I'm not George Payne. How do you think I got that name? Another problem was that Moneyman Lewis, the philanthropist. Yes.

It was very hands-on in many ways. Okay. I won't go into the first way, which you probably understand. Apparently, there was a lot of boning on and off camera. Okay. But everyone's doing that consensually and just having a good time? I believe so. Okay.

I'm right with that. But yeah. The other thing is. that he was very hands-on with, and this is the one that people were annoyed with. I mean, the first one was annoying because, like, cast members wouldn't be on set at some point, so then him and then would walk back in and, like,

all right, we can get going on the next scene. But anyway, the other thing he was too hands-on with was he would change the scripts at the last second, not really knowing his place. The money, man, he wasn't really experienced in the world of cinema. And he didn't realize that just paying funding the film, That doesn't mean you get to get involved creatively. But he did.

Okay. Yeah, he would just be changing the scripts last second. I don't think that's annoying for anybody. No. Directors, actors, crew. I think they all actually really like that. Because Colvino is a real pro. He sent scripts out weeks before the shoot.

The cast has all learnt the script. They're off book. Yeah. And then they're rocking off and it's like, okay. Something about like clothes off, book off, you know, something like that. Oh, that's good, yeah. You've got to take your book off before you get clothes off. That's right.

One of the featured actors on the film, Ed Wiley, remembers that it led to a set filled with confusion, saying two weeks before the film, we had to study our scripts and memorize our lines. Then what they did was change everyone's scripts the day of shooting. Every few minutes, apparently, Lewis would jump in with ideas. Hey, wait on, what if we? Oh, my gosh.

It sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. Were they good ideas, though? Apparently no. I was thinking there would be. He's a philanthropist. Yeah. He knows cash.

And what's the difference? Money talks. Money talks. Money talks. What's dialogue if not talk? Oh, my God. What's dialogue then if not money? Wow.

Money equals talk. You say what I pay to say. Wow. Why don't they just listen to him? Apparently, some of his ideas were so bad. that the crew were often unable to control themselves from laughing. Okay. I feel like Sidney Scheinberg is just,

yes. He's the Scheinberg of gay porn. No Spielberg there to like pretend it's a joke to sort of put him in his place a little bit. Yeah. Oh, good one, Sid. Guys, can you believe it? He's joking. He's just joking.

Sid, you are so funny. You're so funny. That's really good. Scorpio found the process incredibly frustrating, as did Covino, of course, but the director was also very aware that the film's funding was entirely coming from this one man, J.R. Lewis. Yeah, so you've got to be, you've got to really be careful in giving him the feedback of shut the fuck up. Yes, exactly.

How do you say that politely? You've got to be really diplomatic. And apparently, yeah, Corvino was pretty good at playing that sort of, which is not the director's role, I don't think, but he was playing the role of. pacifying both the actors, which is more his role, I suppose, but also Lewis the Money Man. How do you, because after 10 years of working together, I think I've really perfected the tactful way of getting you to pipe down, don't you think? I think so, yeah. So you reckon that you could have got on set and sort of this out pretty quick.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I don't say idiot. Yeah, that's true. I don't say that. You can go up to the Money Man and say, what would you do? And then you just sort of mind punching him in the balls.

Yeah. What would you do if I did that? What would you do? Then while that's happening, Corvina is called action. And over here, that's just a whole movie. Yeah, I could distract him for a bit. Yeah, you've got to say something like, oh, Lewis, mate, have you seen that the catering trucks just brought out some lasagna? You should go check that out while he's out having a little nibble.

They try and film a whole afternoon's work. Yeah, that's right. They make it really chewy lasagna. He's really into lasagna. He's Garfield. They never film on Mondays. Or they only film on Monday. Whatever.

That's good. Now, while Lewis wasn't overstepping, Corvino sort of saw that his cons were probably outweighed by his pros. The pros being the cash. Yep. And also what the cash brought. Western Hall right, the catering on set was plentiful and extravagant. Lazzania. That's just the beginning.

That's first course. Yeah, that's Monday. That's just gross. They say consistent. The food, drinks and a liberal selection of drugs. Oh, catering companies can do that. You said, mate, the lasagna, they've also got some PCP. I briefly worked at the catering company and we didn't offer that.

Well, I will say this, it was a different time. Sounds like a more fun time. I was doing corporate Christmas lunches. Western Hall continued. Lewis also personally paid everyone in cash at the end of each day. So they're all like, we quite like this. You turn up, yeah, okay, so you'd be pretty motivated to come to work each day because you get new cash. And he just sort of stands and in a line, you walk up to him and go one by one, this is for you?

Have we considered that? Who would pay us the money? Well, I think even they... Where do we get the money? He'd get driven to set in a limo each day and he'd just get, I think they'd just line up, go in the limo, get their cash like that. And apparently the crew realized pretty quickly and probably the actors as well. they realized that the longer the film took, the more they'd get paid. It was only meant to be like a four-day shoot.

You sort of drag it. Oh, sorry, keep forgetting that line. Sorry. From the top. I guess we'll just have to start again tomorrow. Hey, let's all go get a good eight hours sleep. That's like 11 a. And they're like, yeah, today's a watch, guys.

Today's not my day. Money, please. Money, please. So, yeah, they really milked it, kept it going. So it blew out probably only by three times. So it ended up in a two-week shoot. Okay. But that's triple the cash that we're expecting to get.

That's still an insanely quick shoot, isn't it? When you're thinking in terms of a film, yeah, exactly right. But there is the joke of like, you know, I just got into porn last year and they've filmed like 400 movies or something. It's a lot quicker of a turn around. Totally. I imagine porn to be very quick. But these guys are doing it high budget. They're doing, you know, it's art.

Exactly. So, yes, when Lewis realized Scorpio wasn't happy with how things were going, the script changes on that sort of stuff, he invited him into his limo for a chat. When Scorpio got in, Lewis pointed to a 10-pound bag of white powder saying, take what you want of that. Ten pounds? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know what that... I mean, I was a nine-pound baby. Yeah, so it's like a baby-sized... Pretty big. A baby-sized... It's like three and a half kilos or something. Bag of Coke, isn't it? I think it might be more.

That's more. That's more. It's like over five kilos. Yeah, three and a half. It's close to five. Three and a half is like a normal baby size. Yeah. So it's unbelievable.

That's so much. So take whatever you want of that. I must have you scrapped the bag in the way. Yeah. Great. Thanks. Bye. Apparently, so everyone's waiting on the set going to doze.

I hope these two sort this out because this is one of the stars of the movie. We need him. And obviously we need the money man to be happy as well. He just walks back on set. Both the nostrils bleeding. Blood pouring down his face. I'm ready. Good to go. So they've left set. Scorpio's left set, upset.

Lewis takes him there and he's like, I'll talk to him. Let's see if we can figure it out. They go. That's what happened to the limo. Twenty minutes later, they return to set. Scorpio lets a relieved Covino. No, he's actually good with the script changes and the filming can continue. That is so awesome. We sorted out a difference.

Yeah, actually, I think this is a good system. Yeah, actually, it's fine. I'm pretty happy with this. I think I like the new direction. I love the limo. I'm convinced. That's amazing and insane. When you said like come have a chat in the limo, I was like, oh.

Arthur's going to hurt. I thought he's going to threaten him or hurt him, but it's like way better. Pointing into a bag saying whatever you want. Okay. Help yourself. I was just saying help yourself. It wasn't worth it.

Why not and say it again? No, no, no, you just move on. No, help yourself. Oh, yeah. Hey, there are any, any sweat of two words in the English language. So everyone knows Matt was counting on his fingers in his fingers.

What are it? It's something you look at it. You count it to seven. What do you mean? I think I was actually counting syllables. He did one, two, three, and then one, two, four. And then one, two three.

I went, no, it was one two. You're only swear. Yourself, sorry, help yourself. Carry the one, carry the one. Any sweet of two words in English language? But also, what? What situation is it being used to that? Hey, help yourself.

Someone just lying there naked. Hey, help yourself. Like, walking into office works. Do you sell laptops here? Help yourself. I was more picture like a breakfast buffet or something. Oh, yeah, that's nicer too, yeah. For me, the two most beautiful words in English language are breakfast buffer.

Yeah, yeah. I fucking love them. I go wild in there. And he has this lower quality than if you're just ordering this individual items or for menu. but I just love loading up and then that first perusal when you do a lap. I love to do a lot. I'll have that. I'll have that, that, that in a candy show.

Oh, I'll get some fruit. You never eat a fruit. Little colour on the plate. I'm eating all the brown and yellow things. Pancakes waffles, thank you so much. So, yeah, back to featured actor Ed Wiley. He listed a few other hiccups along the way saying, quote, the film crew were rolling around on the floor laughing when people missed their lines.

Like, apparently the crew. Wow. So for some, I mean, I don't know how important this is, but it's mentioned a bit in the story that while the cast is all gay, the crew was all straight. So I think they're also just saying, this is a different world, they're all used to straight porn,

which to me, I feel like it's got to be similar. Yeah, there's got to be a lot of overlap. I think if you can just get your little brains around the fact that it's men instead of there's some women here. They're looking at each other going, what are they doing out there?

I understand. What's that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Why are they doing that? Why? I mean, it's all, it's the gay actors who are mentioning that they were straight. So I think to them, they're like, I have no idea what we're up, do you?

While he also said that he fell off the stage at one point. Like, it was just a heptic mismatch. It's weird with everyone doing so much drugs. I was going to say, they're all high, right? Oh, true, true. He's just falling off the stage. I know this is a weird thing to suggest to friends, Should we watch this movie?

Movie club? I'm curious. Yeah, it sounds fun. I'd like to see them all really high. Yeah. One guy, this is still Wiley, one guy leaned up against one of the polls supporting the stage at one point. It gave way and the whole top of the stage fell down on everyone. Crazy.

It could have been a gay blooper movie, but the director wanted to be something more serious. Oh, it's so funny that Wiley's like, we're doing this all wrong. This is funny. This is really funny. This is hilarious. Various guys. Yeah, Western Hallwright. Another source of unintentional comedy

were the attempts by several of the actors playing Centurions to ride horses for the first time. There utter lack of mastery with the animals meant that the filmmakers were at the mercy of wherever the horses wanted to go. I guess I'm going over here now. Yeah, I guess the scene, the horse won't be drinking from the water,

it'll be galloping away. We'll change the script accordingly. Yes, Octavius makes a retreat. The horses were great at Ibnprong. Oh man, how hectic is this. One scene was filmed at a place called The Fist Fuckers of America Club. It seemed the reason for this was so that Lewis could get a special membership there. One of the crew members later recounted,

they offered the guy who was paying for the film. I love how late he didn't even remember his name. The guy was paying, the money guy. Yeah, the guy with a big bag in his limo. What was his name? What was his name? I reckon I'd make myself. I'm pretty familiar with that guy's name.

It doesn't seem like they respect him all that much. No, I don't think so. Yeah, he said, they offered the guy who was paying for the film some free lifetime membership there to the Fistfuckers Club if he added a fisting scene. So we had to go to this weird place and film it. Chris Kovino wanted George Payne, the adult veteran. Adult George Payne.

Chris wanted George Payne to do it, but George predictably said, no way. Somehow they came to an understanding over the professional and, Next thing you know, there was George with a tub of Crisco, nearly in front of the Emperor, ready to go. He really does. He's like your friend at the gym. I'm not doing that. Action.

All right. All right. I'm doing it very well. Okay. So he just wanted a membership at Fist Fuckers of America. Lifetime membership. Okay. Which is funny for a go with like so much cash.

Yeah. He just wants the special card. He wants a little card. He wants to feel exclusive. There's something money can't buy. There's something only fisting. True, that's true. You might be wondering how they made the modern 1980s New York City look like ancient Rome.

I am wondering. Well, they got up early while the city was dead quiet and the tourists weren't around yet and used historical buildings in the financial districts such as the Stock Exchange, Customs House and Federal Halls, the backdrop for their faux Rome. And it did the job, you know, the photos I've seen. They're, you know, the olden days, you know, pylons and stuff. There's columns. It'd be like if we were making this film, we'd use the, you know, there's a couple of

buildings like the state parliament in Melbourne, for instance. Yeah. You've got some columns. You believe that. Yeah. Greece or Rome or whatever. Yeah. People aren't watching that film going, mm-hmm.

Was that an ionic column? I just don't think that I was around. Yeah. Well, I will finish the report with the only listed blooper and it's not far from that. So, yeah. So he did a decent job. And after the 12 shoot days, the film wrapped. And Lewis was wrapped with how it went.

He was stoked. He had a great time. He was a lifetime member of the first. He was a special gold card. And he wanted to celebrate Western Hall right. He threw a huge party for cast and crew at the Underground Night Club on Broadway. All guests received welcoming packages that included a gram of Coke and a couple of joints. As befitting a party to celebrate a sex film set an ancient.

Rome. The gathering degenerated into an orgy with sex taking place openly all over the club. So now it's time to get into post-production. Western Hall continued. Covino estimated that $150,000 had been spent up to this point, which probably already made it the most expensive gay adult film at the time. But like you were saying before, just, they normally are a lot quicker, which makes them cheaper as well.

Yeah, yeah. But also the guy is paying for this is not holding the purse strings tightly at all. He's not got like an Excel spreadsheet. He's not asking for a receipt. Yeah, he's not tracking this at all. So it's not necessarily getting bang for buck. Yeah. Anyway, but it is, if nothing else, very expensive.

Yeah, so about 150 grand had been spent. He had about five grand of a float that Lewis had given him to get him start on the editing. But he obviously needed more funds for the post-production. But the trouble was now that the filming experience was over, Lewis seemed to have vanished. He was like, seems like maybe he was only in it for the fun of the show. shoot, you can't be fucked sitting in an editing suite. Oh,

then a darkened room for the days on end. He sounds like he's coked out of his mind all the time. Like, of course he can't sit still in an editing suite

and have a conversation about plot. Yeah. Like, he's just like, yeah, and then, and then, oh, what if he fucks him? Yeah. And then, uh,

lunch time. Do you want him in the editing suite? No, he'd be offering line, new lines in two ways to the, uh, to the film. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, what if you try, oh, sorry, Lewis, that's, we've already filmed That is actually a film. Does he know what a TV is? Yeah. He sounds like he was off his fucking head.

Oh, he knocked it on the screen. They're ignoring me. Hello. Scorpio. Scorpio is ignoring me. He's frozen. Like, I can see you there, Scorpio. How rude.

So he, after he couldn't find for a while, he's like, I really need to get this film finished. So he looked for someone else to pay. And he got on to New York. adult production company hand-in-hand films. The boss of hand-in-hand agreed to kick in post-production money and return for ownership of the film. And he was desperate,

so he agreed, which he wasn't able to talk to Lewis to make sure that was okay or not. Oh, is that disappeared? Yeah. Can't get in contact. Can't get in contact. But also there was no written contract. Ah.

So it's like, Lewis really owns the film. He paid for it, but now hand-in-hand. does write up a contract saying, I'll kick in the post-production fees, which is less than what's already gone into it, but I own the whole thing.

And that was the deal that was struck. Western Hall wrote, Kavino edited the film with a guy called Carter Stevens. It was a near impossible job. Carter had heard about the mountains of cocaine on set, and the evidence was on film. Hours of footage with zonked out male performers struggling to achieve erections.

They've got hours of footage Some of them going Come on Come on come on Come on come on I'm not really like this They're like Yeah

Shut up, shut up, shut up We're still rolling Just shut up Yeah I think we can trim this bit out Trying to make Is that, let me just double check That's pretty important for porn right Uh yeah

Pretty important This kind of Yes The Queen of Palm That was really true That was a Christmas five we've ever done. You deserved it. Thank you.

That was important. Best or worst thing you've ever said, not sure. Yeah, me too. It's exciting, isn't it? Yeah, really exciting. Yeah. Carter, the editor or the co-editor, remembered the experience saying, trying to make this look like a hardcore fuck film was a nightmare.

I can't even do my job, which is making this look like a hardcore fuck film. film. Unfortunately, we've already made the poster, and that's what we've advertised. Yes. He also said that he found the New Jersey accents of the cast so incongruous and funny, incongruous, sorry. It's just like these ancient Romans, like, do the act. What's the accent? What kind of New Jersey?

Jersey. Jersey, yeah. Your Joyce. Hey, Octavius. Hey, Octavius. What are you doing over there? Hey, I'm trying to get an erection here. Hey, you want to get out of this or a prison?

Because I've kept you a prisoner. You're going to have to. But which are way out? Way ahead of you. All right. Before we go on, I've got to introduce you to the last important character. And this guy really was a character. So a couple of years younger than Corvino was a man named George Manuel Bosque, who was born in 195 to Cuban immigrants.

His father was strict and he was sent to military school. Western Hall, right. Bosque was a young man in a hurry. He was a class vice president, a member of the debating club, played for the chess team and excelled as a track star. It was a real... Nerd. Yeah, it was a high achiever, you know.

Yeah. Anything's available, he'll sign up. And he'll excel, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. He was the editor-in-chief of the school, the academy, the military school's newspaper, which was called the Eagle Beak, which I don't know why, but I really like it.

Okay. I think it's sort of at first, I'm like, That's horrible, but I think it's, I don't know, there's something about it. I think you've had more time to sit with it. Yes. Right now I hate it. The eagle beak. I don't get it.

Yeah, just like thinking about an eagle beak, detached from the rest of the eagle is. I think I even feel better about the eagle's beak. Oh, yeah. What about the eagle eye? Yeah, that's better. Was that taken there probably? It might have been taken. Eagle beak.

What else is left? I need time to work. The eagle's talent. The eagle foot, yeah. Yeah, no. I'll mull on it. But right now I hate it. I'm sure it will come back later too.

No, I'm just letting you know, yeah. I hate that. I don't like that. I hate it. I don't know if there was anything to do with him, the fact that he was the editor-in-chief, but in one of the annual volumes of the paper, he was called part of the Who's Who?

Among American high school students. Okay. Yeah, no, that feels like he's written that about himself. Which is fine. Come out every year. Do you think that's not? Other school students do remember him as being very impressive. A schoolmate of his Albert Pellidri remembered him as, quote,

the smartest guy I ever met in school. Western Hall continued, but in the post-Vietnam countercultural free love era, he cut an unlikely pro-establishment figure. At a time when teenagers were reacting against the rigid, entrenched post-war attitudes of their parents, Bosk was rebelling against the rebellious, hitting out against hippies and protesting the student protesters. kind of fellow.

He also protested against the gay community in one of his last editorials before he graduated he rallied against homosexuals saying he was sick of not being able to take

my girlfriend or a movie unless I wanted her exposed to nudity, homosexuality and the glorification of narcotics. I'm sick of the decline in personal honesty, honesty,

personal integrity and human sincerity. Take note, you in high places. So he just wants to watch the most boring movies ever. It's feeling like he doth protest a little too much.

According to Western Hall, it was a bizarre tirade. There were no girlfriends or movie dates in George's life. He was gay. Aha. Okay. Okay. But I mean, God, I just want to take my girl to the movies. My girl who's real. She just lives in a different town. Well, she would be, she would be able to go if the movies weren't the way they are.

Yeah, exactly. He's been poisoned. He has. there would be plenty of dates. Yeah, heaps. But he wasn't out at this point. Like he was really afraid of his parents finding this out. Very different from Scorpio's upbringing.

Yeah, Scorpio sounds like the exception. You're about the same age. I think Scorpio is like two years older or something. So like, you know, it was like for like in terms of time, but treated very differently. And yeah, you're probably right. I think this guy, Bosk, is probably more the standard rule for the 50s and 60s. Yeah, definitely for that time, for sure.

Yeah, anyhow, being a big fan of authority figures, he dreamt about joining either the police, force or military after leaving school. He wrote an article in the Eagle Beak, sorry, Jess, saying, Yeah, it's not growing on me. I'm sick of Supreme Court decisions which turned criminals loose on society, while other decisions try to take the means of protecting our homes away. I'm sick of being told policemen are mad dogs who should not have guns, but that criminals who use guns to rob maim and murder should be understood

and help back into society. I reckon he could make it in politics today. So yeah, he is just... He wanted traditional values. Yeah. To take his girl to the movies. It's so funny to think like this is in the 50s into the 60s. which is like partially what that kind of person talks about now.

They want to take it back to them. Yeah. It's always I want to take it back to this mythical time. Yeah, exactly. It was always better. It's never right now. No. Western Hall right,

his father encouraged Bosque's military aspirations, boasting to friends that his son had become a real man, which I think was even the school's motto was something like making boys men or something like that. Making boys into real men. we'll just do that. You know, I don't think the school can really claim. I think legally, like once you turn 18. So every boy who's ever graduated, he has become a man, 100% success rate.

So that's us. Yeah, he called him tough, discipline, patriotic and proud. He decided to commence his working life in the police force. And he was recommended to the Miami-Dade, I think, County PD. with the recommendation calling him a young man of sterling character, but he was not offered a position for some reason. Under 30, he applied interstate to the Military Academy in Charleston, South Carolina, but again, was knocked back.

It's unclear even still why exactly this seemingly high-achieving student was struggling to make it in the world. But his dad has said that he reckons it was due to racism because of his Cuban heritage. By 1975, he had moved to Washington, D.C. I should say he seems like he maybe have been a bit of a psycho as well

so it's hard to know it's hard to know if it was racism or that he was he was not passing psych exams He met him and went Oh no no no no no no We should not give you a gun Yes

Yes Yes that's definitely Oh you think of a mad dog Do you? Oh I see Well I'm just going to go I'll price somewhere else And I'll get my own gun

Yeah He's a real law and order as well. I didn't mention it, but during his time at military school, at one point he just borrowed in inverted commas one of the teacher's cars and drove it into state, and only because a teacher didn't press charges that he was arrested, but he didn't go to court or anything. Okay.

So, you know, yeah. He's really by the book. He is really by the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By 1975, he moved to Washington, D.C., where he worked as a police dispatcher at a university. It was like wrongs down from what he wanted to be doing, but it was vaguely in the world. It was there he began to feel a bit more comfortable with his sexuality, I guess being away from his family and whatnot.

And he began dating the love of his life, a guy called Carl Denton. Western Hall write, their relationship was a double-edged sword. Bosque was devoted to Carl, but he lived in abject fear of his father ever finding out about his homosexuality and the ensuring rejection he would face. To make matters worse, he'd also started. experiencing epileptic seizures, and the seizures were scary. They'd come on without warning and sometimes leave Bosque unconscious, even. Western Hall continued. Bosque hated being epileptic. Sure, he could deal with the seizures, but worse than that, he feared that they signalled the end to any possible career in law enforcement. He knew that there was little chance he'd be passed in a medical

exam, and even if he did pass, his first seizure on the job would mark his immediate termination. They don't normally like people who, you know, guns and whatnot, being able to have a seizure at any moment. Searching for a fresh start, Bosk and Carl headed across country to San Francisco. A new city led, unfortunately, to the same results career-wise. He applied for the San Francisco Police Department, but they knocked him back as well. And that was even though he'd hid his epilepsy from him. So even with the excuse that they would have ruled him out, definitely. He didn't tell him that and even still.

And he sort of bounced around a few jobs for a while. He worked at the San Francisco Society for the prevention of cruelty to animals, but he was fired from there for some unknown reason. And they're like the authors of this article. He was too pro-cruelty to animals. Yeah, Western Hall, like the guy, The guy fired him as like, he didn't want to talk about why, but he, yeah, something happened, obviously. Dricken you punched a turtle.

I reckon he punched a turtle. And they said, that's kind of like the opposite of what we do here. Yeah, but this thing's got a shell. It's fine. It hurt me more than it. Come on. And then they're like, well, you punched it in the head. I put a helmet on him first.

Oh, I thought this job was going to be fun. Working with that all for my dream. So, yeah, after that, you got a job as a special police officer. This is something that I do not really understand. I've never heard this year. What's this? But it sounds, I mean, somehow, it seems odd, but also somehow like a real American thing, maybe. Or maybe I just don't understand it.

But this is what Western Hall write. It was part of a neighborhood force of private citizens, appointed and regulated by the San Francisco Police Commission who would purchase a specific area of the city and charge private clients hourly rates for a variety of protection services. So you'd buy an area, you'd buy the license to be sort of like this kind of fake police officer

for an area, and then you'd charge them, so it sounds like a security guard for an area, but sort of, it's called a special police officer. Interesting. And you could just buy the areas. Do you reckon they still have these? I don't know.

I mean, it's a while ago now. Oh, yeah, it's a while ago. It's not that long ago. It was it 40-odd years. But yeah. God, imagine being alive in the 80s. You'd be so old now. I'd be a magical time.

Well, which 80s? Because some of them were fantastic. And some haven't happened yet. Yeah. And some of them, if you can remember them, you weren't really there. So apparently one of his friends bought a district to patrol and he unsolded part of it to Bosks. What?

It was going to be like 20 grand or something. You could buy this area. Basically, you buy the area, and then you got a, it's like buying a taxi permit, I guess. Or any sort of permit. This is wild. It's odd. So strange. And then you can on sell it like a sublet little.

Yeah. Sounds like that. You can patrol this street to this street. Yeah. It's like a paper round. Yeah. But then how do you make money? You charge the citizens and say, I'll, yeah, there's been a call out, I guess, or something.

You're like, I'll send you a bill for the hourly. right? What? I die. Yeah, it's... Wow. Americans are going to be like, this is a really normal,

easy to explain the thing and Matt is not explaining it well. Anyway, it was basically a night time gig because he really needed the cash in part he was like... Because he just spent 20 grand of it, so... Yeah, and he didn't have any...

And he owed still a lot of it. So he needed to make money just to get back to even, but also money for his epilepsy medication, which was more expensive than what he had on hand for cash. So he got a second job, which I think means he just worked all the time.

A second job was a daytime job, a daytime job, security job with a company called Brinks. It wasn't the army or police force, but would have to do, because at least it had a badge, a gun, a uniform. He's got a gun. Yeah, he gets to feel important. Yeah.

Obviously, he's not told any of these people about his epilepsy either. No. Or that he was arrested for stealing a car. No. Not necessary. Not relevant. Or probably that he's working all night on another job as well.

Yeah. I think it's fine. I think all of this is good. Yeah. I think if he told them that they'd go, so, why are you wasting our time with this irrelevant information? So what you're telling us is you're living the American dream?

Yeah. Yeah. Great, man. We're proud of you. We've got stuff too. Like, what do you want? You said you needed to have a meeting with us. We were worried there was something serious to discuss.

West at Hallwright, with the two security jobs, he should have been happy, but he wasn't. In fact, he was depressed. His life at home was falling apart as he fought frequently with Carl. A neighbour remembers him suffering two bad epileptic seizures and Bosque fearing he would lose both jobs as a result. That's what his neighbour said. He knew that if his employers found out about his epilepsy, they wouldn't let him carry a gun or drive. And this meant his livelihood was always on the line. It's a stressful life.

He's like, could be any day now. Which he knew and still actively pursued that industry. His whole identity, I think, was in that. He's still trying to make his dad proud. He's apparently before moving to San Francisco, he was basically, I'm moving across country, Dad, I'm going to make my fortune. I'm going to make you proud sort of thing. So I think he's like caught up in this a bit as well.

And he does seem like a bit of a psycho. I hadn't written this down, but at some point in the article, was talking about how we collected Nazi paraphernalia. Okay, yeah, so all of my sympathy's gone. There wasn't much left, if I can be honest with you. Yeah, no, I don't think you need to feel sympathy. Fabulous, yeah, great. I mean, you know, I think this is...

Feel how you feel. This is the type of person that should absolutely have a gun, for sure. Nazi paraphernalia and epilepsy. Yeah, there was one person, like they asked a few people about, and one person was like, yeah, it was really weird, and other person was like, no, it wasn't weird, He's just sort of like, you know, he's just having fun with him. He's a history buff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just a history buff. Okay. Very particular history buff. Yeah. Even with the two jobs, he couldn't afford proper treatment for his epilepsy, and he didn't want to turn to his family for fear that I would find out about his relationship with Carl. Desperity took a big swing and decided to run for the office of San Francisco Sheriff,

Remembering he got knocked back for just base level police? Yeah. In three states, sort of. One military and a couple of police. So he's like, you know what, I'm just going to go for sheriff. I'm just going to go, you know, those who can't do teach. Yeah. Those who can't be police officers, lead police officers.

Yeah, sheriff. His pitch read, a vote for me is a vote for safer jails, better jails, a sheriff's cadet program, support for human rights. A 25% cut in the sheriff's salary and many other beneficial and innovative changes. He did not win. In fact, he wasn't able to even get his name on the ballot. Okay. Like they would knock him back before, like, you're not even allowed to run.

So yeah. He's still trying. Yeah. To me, that was kind of interested. He's like, look, maybe I'm going too small. Yeah, I got to go to the top. He's been knocked back in three states, but let's not forget there's 47 others. We're only a very small percentage of states have knocked him back so far.

Yeah, exactly. Tiny. Six percent. That's the right kind of attitude, Dave. Yeah. That's why I will one day become a police officer. Oh, God, no. I've been knocked back in three states here in Australia.

That's quite a lot of percentage. Yeah. But in America, that's nothing. Is that because of your paraphernalia collection or your... What? Mostly because I threaten people in the interview. And mostly because you remember how... When I get a gun, I tell you what...

I'm going for you and you Definitely you How Dave couldn't grip a tennis racket as a boy He can't hold a gun Oh yeah It's actually a pen I remember it was a pencil I had to when I was My fingers were too small for a pencil

I had the special classes In prep Why do you help me bash you like that Because it's funny It's so funny I'm looking for his car He's the most successful

Of all of us Yeah Well It's beggars belief It doesn't make sense It's not wrong Not right. Yeah.

And when I get a gun, Jess, I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. What is that supposed to mean? To show me your gun? Jess, quick, they gave me a gun. I'm not supposed to take it out of the locker, but look at it. I just like, yeah, sometimes I'm just like holding it and looking at it. Yeah, it's so cool.

Stroking it, cleaning it. It's always ready. Sometimes it talks to me. Don't you want to know what I got to say? I'll make a really good noise. Why don't you take me out? Maybe we can talk to some people. Bang, bang.

I just want to talk. I just want to talk. That's right. Oh, doesn't it feel good? This will be so eerie to listen to in the future after Dave's gone on a shooting spree. Please, no, Dave. This is the one thing holding me back, okay? Somebody note this down that we'll take, we'll quietly wipe this episode from the internet.

Just skips and numbers. God, Jess and Matt really encouraged him. It's the Michael Jackson episode of The Simpsons. Just like, just the catalympso. Yeah. The catalogue of hundreds of episodes. Just take that one quite a way. Have they done that?

Yeah. That's pretty funny. So, so things are not going well at home, or really in his life at all. No. And then things really hit rock bottom when on the 14th of August 1980, Carl packed his bag and he's like, I'm gone. Carl. I'm moving out.

I can't do this anymore. Love of my life, Carl. Yeah. Sounds like it was not a good relationship, but he was deeply in love with it. It's hot. I thought, I don't know why I've been. loving Carl. Been feeling like the car.

We know nothing about Carl? I just felt good about him. I felt like he's doing good. I'm the same. I think the same and I think I'm happy he's leaving. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

All right. I mean, it's not good for George Bosque. No. But I think it's pretty good for Carl. Okay. And that's what we want. We want Carl to be okay. He's like unbeknownst to George.

He's really living. He's going back home to Texas to live with his folks again. Okay. Yeah, but boss world absolutely falls apart. And it was then that he decided he had nothing left to lose. The next day, he was going to rob his employer. This is how Western Hall described how it went down. What is happening in this episode?

We've spoiled a long way away from the porno. Haven't we? I reckon the stories are going to come together at some point. You're like, God, in a classic Stuart twist. I can't wait for it. I think we should cheer when it happens. Yeah, standing ovation. Well, there's a push it.

So, yeah, this is back to Weston Hall in their great article, which, like I say, linked in the show notes and possibly coming to a cinema near you. At 7am on a foggy summer morning, Bosque and a Brinks driver, Jean-Marie Jean, is co-worker, arrived at San Francisco International Airport in an armoured truck. They were there to pick up a money shipment from Honolulu,

which they had to take the Federal Reserve Bank in downtown, town San Francisco. The shipment consisted of seven large gray canvas sacks of money in 50 and $100 bills, totaling over $7 million. Wow. In today's cash is tens of millions, obviously. Shit. After loading the sacks into the truck, Bossk told the driver, Sean or Gene, that an airline

official inside the terminal wanted to speak with him. This was a lie. Oh. So he's left with the truck and $7 million. Oh, Greg. at the check-in count I wanted to talk to you Yeah

He said he's got a present for you Yeah Oh I wasn't supposed to say that It was a surprise Yeah For me Yeah But act surprised when you're going

Because I wasn't supposed to say anything I gotta say like You know I heard that there's a call for me or something Yeah George sent me in Is that right? Yeah

Yeah Am I in the right place And hey Hey take your time Okay I'll be out here with the truck I'll think you're getting a coffee anyway Do you want?

Go for it Yeah no no And go to the place with a long line, I reckon. Yeah, they do the best stuff. It's better coffee. Yeah, that is a good sign. It's like Melbourne level.

You deserve a treat. Have you been to Melbourne? You simply must. Yeah, it's almost like if you close your eyes, you could think you're in a laneway with weather. Inside this terminal. Yeah. That's how good the coffee is.

Yeah, it's worth it, honestly. I mean, sure you could go to Starbucks and get something quick, but you may as well, you know, wait those few extra minutes for a better experience. If you put a shop to ear, you heal the ocean, if you hold up one of their coffee cups to ear, you can hear the tram's ding-ding. And going around a corner A beautiful sound

Oh, I love to live on a corner Is what you might say Is what you might say If I happened to live on a corner of two busy roads And what were you just be here Keeping the Engine Warm Oh yeah You know what I've got a podcast to catch up on

Oh great great great So I'm going to have to leave the keys Just so that I can Get the Bluetooth going and stuff But again take your time We'll do, yeah We're actually ahead aren't we? Yes we are

So back to Western Hall. With the driver gone, Bossk drove the truck to the nearby San Francisco Airport Hilton, where he abandoned the vehicle. It's not a good robbery. He's left all the cash in there. No, that's not quite right. As he was getting out of the truck to unload the money, he noticed a hotel chambermaid name, how good is this name? Push for Lal. What?

Pushpa. Pushpa. Oh. And then surname? Lal. Pushpa Lal. P-U-S-H-P-A-L-L-A-L-L-P. Pushpalal.

Love that. I love it too. It's never heard a name like an episode. And the best thing I go up with Hank Bravo. That's still good. What's the name like Pushpalal is out there? My God. That's powerful.

Oh, God. Sign me up. Give you the DVD. Thank you very much. Oh, a poster of that one, thanks. So he sees her. He sees Pushpa. She's arriving at work, parking her car.

He takes out his gun and says, I'm going to take this vehicle. he grabs all he can carry, which is two of the seven sacks stuffed with the 50s and hundreds. Oh, you'd hope you get two of the hundreds bags. Oh, I've been annoyed wouldn't you be a... I got the shilling bag. It's pennies.

Oh, no. Oh, no, I accidentally got dirty laundry. The banker's dirty in uniforms. I mean, it's better than nothing, I guess. I came here with nothing. I can sell these. So, yeah, he took her car keys and drove off. Okay, but Pushpa was okay.

Pushpa was okay, but she was pretty shaken. Oh, absolutely. She was physically okay. She said that Bosque actually tried to take her with him, but she was able to jump out of the moving vehicle before it sped away. Her abandoned car was later discovered a few miles away where Bosk and Carl had their apartment. Oh. It was found with a note and a $50 bill attached.

Sorry. Bit tight when you got. That's tight. But the note said soi and a sad face. So it's all right. The note did say sorry. And also, we have forgotten that he abandoned Pushpalal in the car park with a van with five sacks of money. If I was her, I'd be unloading one quietly and then calling the police.

He took three bags of him. He took three bags. Couldn't believe it. Honestly, that would have been to be. Holy shit, Dave. That would have been the perfect crime. Oh my God. But unfortunately she was too honest.

Too honest. That's what she said in her interview as well, and it turned out to be true. If any, I'm too honest. Pushper. Pushper. I hope they'll let her keep the 50 at least. I love you, pushpa. This is what the note said.

Dear lady. Didn't even get her name? She's wearing a badge, right? Come on. He would have heard the best name in her. Yeah. Dear lady. Rude.

Sorry I had to use your car and that you were so scared. Oh. Yours, a man in trouble. Sorry that you had to jump out of the car whilst it was moving. I should have stopped. I know we think he's a bit of a psycho, but that's a fairly self-aware note.

Yes, I think. Sorry to Fridon. And he's still, like, he's still quite a young guy. He's in his early, 20, he's like 23, 24. Oh, my God, he's a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does he even have a job? Is that a lot?

Well, he's, he struggled to get one, to be honest. Well, that's, well, of course, because we all do it 24. Yes, come on. It is also. like tragic and so sweet a man in trouble. Yeah, I know. That's heartbreaking stuff. Yeah, it is.

And with that, he disappeared. An article came out the next day for the Associated Press. Jim Allen wrote the following. A Brinks guard robbed his armoured van of 1.85 million. As a percentage, it's about two sevens, I guess. Which makes sense. What is it about? We're breaking it down.

We're breaking that down and sort of a... In sevens. Well, wouldn't you know, that would be maybe four-14s? Hang on, hang on. Yeah, no, that would track, actually. Well, okay. A nationwide search was underway for the man charged with what appeared to be the second largest heist in the nation's history. A complaint filed in federal court charged George Manuel Bosque, now 25, sorry, with, so I don't know.

So, I don't know. So he's fully formed. Yeah, yeah. You're an adult. Grow up, George. Come on. and you go, oh shit. It does it on your 25th birthday.

I should not have stolen that money. Yeah. The age of reason. 24. Danny McGinley told me that hangovers get worse at 25 and then on my 25th birthday, he was correct. He was absolutely correct. He was absolutely.

Yeah, and it's his birthday as well. So I said, hey, happy birthday, you fuck. You ruined my life. A complaint filed in federal court charged George Manuel Bosque 25 with robbing his Brinks truck shortly after he and another guard picked up the money. at San Francisco International Airport early Friday morning. Bond was set at $3 million.

Wow. Bosque who had worked for Brinks part-time for more than two years was named in a complaint charging him with bank theft and theft of interstate shipment. Authorities believe he acted alone. Described by authorities as a drifter and police buff,

Bosque was still at large earlier today and believed armed with a 38-calibur police service revolver. The money was from Honolulu's first Hawaiian and Central Pacific banks and Brinks covered their losses. Like apparently later that day, they sent a check off to the banks to cover it. Because they were insured by Lords of London.

So the money ended up having to be stumped up by Lords of London. I think they're pretty hard up. It does sound like a victimless crime. Yeah, no. Apart from Pushpa. Yes. Western Hall, right, Word of the robbery splashed across newspapers all over the world.

The irony was that it was an, that it was an open and shut case. The cops knew who did it and how he did it. They just had no idea where he was. Can we just say, how would Inspector Japp say? There's an open and a showcase pyr-o. Perfect. And not so fast mona-ne-ne-you-let, let me let my little grasses.

Just last week, Dave was saying this. Certain words or phrases he knows will trigger Matt, and that's one of them open-shut. For example, if I'd said open-and-shut-eper-epy-epy-o, Matt would have repeated a fact to me. Because you read it yourself, I was like, well, we've got to get him to say it. It's an open shut. Case, poir-wo.

Poir-wo. So the president of Brinks, a guy called Edward S. Lennahan said, we want him found. We want to set an example for the other employees. Basically, we don't want them to think that this is okay. If it gets out of this is something you can do, it's going to be really bad for this. That's kind of fair. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be an epidemic.

Yeah. The theft angered the firm so much that a 50 grand. Grand reward was offered for information leading to capture of the thief. Lloyds of London equally angered by the robbery, added more funds until the reward totaled 150 grand. Whoa. The huge nationwide manhunt was launched. Authorities tracked down Carl in Dallas, where he was with his family. He denied any involvement and the authorities ruled him out as a suspect.

His mom back now is like, he's a good boy. He wouldn't have done this. Mike Carl, he wouldn't do that. He would have to fly. That George guy, though, he was the leader. She was like really, it's like, but they were like, yeah, we fully take your word for this, ruled him out pretty quickly. Okay. Then they just had no idea where he was.

He's like, he's vanished. But then he started mailing out cash to people. And this was making it feel like maybe we can get this guy. He sent 10 grand to the manager of the San Francisco Society for the prevention of cruelty to animals where he briefly worked. Sorry about the turtle. It's pretty funny Yeah funny, but 10 grand Look after that turtle

Even though he was fired Yeah He was like You know I want to send cash to them The money came with a note The red You're a good and honest man This to the boss

Please use this humble amount To benefit our animals God bless you Mr Anonymous He told He told the authorities about it And he was like It was actually really sweet

I loved the donation. Could have used it, but not like this. It's sort of a bit tainted with it. He also sent 20 grand to his friend who sold him that part of the private police beat. Oh, okay, yep. Saying it was the money still owed him for the beat and for different bits and pieces.

This guy's really wanting me back. Nazi paraphernalia. I forgot about that. Like the animal cruelty guy's friend, handed the money over to the authorities. Sightings of Bosque reported all over the country, even abroad in Peru, but it all came to North. Like, people were seeing him everywhere.

It's a sort of sharp, sort of handsome fella, mustache. You know what I mean? Kind of look like a young Dave Warnocky. Young Dave Warnocky couldn't grow a mustache. That's true. That's how you know it's not me. Also, this was the early 80s. And God, imagine if you were alive in the early, even mid-80s.

I don't think anyone who was alive then, still alive now. I don't think it's possible. And if they are, they're basically just dust. Yeah, the husks. Which is we talking about? A year after he disappeared, FBI spokesman Bill Luff was very honest about how much trouble they were having saying when it was last week.

What, any updates on this guy and this thief? And he goes, to be honest, we have absolutely no idea. That's so rather than the investigation is ongoing. We've got a few new leads. It's like, honestly, this guy's disappeared. He's like, we're not, we're starting to wonder if he was real in the first place. He's got to scratch my head. If anyone's got any information, that would be great because I've got nothing.

I've got sweet F-A, to be honest. I'm just going to give up, I reckon. Yeah. Yeah, just let it go. Yeah, honestly, I stopped looking to that ages ago. And yet, when you think about it, a victimless crime. Yeah, who gives Lloyds? Other than Pushper, but she seems to be doing well.

Oh, God, you'd want to try and get Pushper's address and send her money. Yeah. So where was he? Well, it sounds like he actually was cruising around the. the country. And maybe he was even in Peru. It sounds like what being seen might have been actually. It's actually him.

Because I was just trying, like, people, you know, that happens. People go, I'm seeing Elvis everywhere. Yeah. It's like, he was seen on a jet ski with a dacquerie. He's like, that was me. That was me. Yeah, that was me. And apparently he was continuing to live a bit of a Robin Hood lifestyle,

using the money stole from the rich to give to the poor, or at least people who asked him for cash. Yeah. I reckon he sold his Nazi memorabilia, and he's good now. Yeah. Well, yeah. Is that what you reckon? What, I just want to like him.

Okay. Because that sounds fun. He gave 20 grand to someone who he met who I wanted to open a fitness center. He gave 10 grand to someone who needed money for a sick relative. Gave five grand or a person he met who wanted to fly to Europe to see their relatives. He's like, he's just like doing like just money for. What's that show? The Dragon's Den.

It's Dragons Dan. Yeah. I'm just like, you're not pitching. You're pitching. I really could use some cash. What for? Here you go. Yeah.

So you want $5,000 to visit your family. All right, I'll give you the 5 grand, but I want 50% of your family. Are you in? Yeah, that's right. Drecking 5 grand back then was enough to, like, fly business class. Oh, you'd think maybe. Oh, plane tickets were more expensive, but also like, but that's quite a lot of money. $5,000.

There's a lot back then, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. That'd be pretty sweet. I should say, like, it's not all just, like, good-natured everyone's, He's giving, what am I trying to say? It's not all spending on others. He is spending on himself as well.

Oh, that's fine. He's... He's living at large, you know, living like an absolute king. And this is when he joins our story. When he moves to New York City, makes his home in a lavish art deco apartment, and assumes his new identity is the mysterious millionaire businessman

and philanthropist J.R. Lewis. What? I was hoping it was going to be... When you said he disappeared, I was like, man, I hope this guy is coming back as the porn dude. I did not. Did you forget about that guy? Yeah, I totally forgot. And I was like, come back in somewhere, I guess, yes.

And I was trying to remember, like, you never described how old he was or like, what, what, he looked like? Or maybe he said he had a mustache or something. I don't know. I didn't try to keep it. I was like, I was imagining him being in his 50s or 60s, but I don't know, he's like a young hot shot guy, still in these, what, 20s at this point. I'm imagining it'll be, I'm imagining it'll be similar with the people listening at home. There'll be some were like, I was thinking it was going that way, but others I'm hoping it were going like, whoa. Because it went so far away.

It was really good. It's like, you know, those, the stand-up bit you do where you're like, you try and forget the thing you've planted, you've taken them so far. Yeah. When you get to it, they're like, oh, yeah. I forgot why you were talking about that. Oh, that was good. Would you say that was a classic Stewart twist? There it is, the classic Stewart twist where plot A and plot B finally meet.

You had taken me far enough that I was just, I was along for the ride and I'd forgotten the, where the, the, where the, the, destination. You know what I mean? Wow. So the way this was pitched to the listeners was how a bank robber funded the most expensive gay porn of all time. And everyone's just like, that was option A. And they were like, I didn't look past option A.

Yeah, I actually saw the comments. And this is why we say, like, don't give it away in the comments. Because I did see it as I was scrolling past, several people were like, well, it has to be A, right? Yeah, that's right. I mean, guys. Because the other two options were also wild. and I really don't know which way I was going to go.

But from that description, I'm also very first. And the patrons, they sometimes they surprise us with what they choose, but they've always chosen well. They've never led us astray. I'd agree with that. Yeah. It took me quite a while. So the article is pretty upfront with how the story is from the start.

And I'm like, how, you know, like this is one of the big things when you do a story like, it's like, what should I, how should I format? Yeah. Yeah. You can just go chronological or. I try and do some ways. No, that was way more fun. You said, I've got to do the classic Stuart twist.

Yeah, that's right. That is. Where's the twist? The nipple twist. Like the, uh, maybe the most successful version that I pulled off with maybe the, uh,

the stranger of North Pond. Oh. From memory, maybe. That was a great episode. Anyway, so the, the two stories are combined. Here's the, the final sort of section is,

um, you know, how does the movie do and whatnot? So we got J.R. Lewis slash, actually George Bosque. Oh, that's right. He's come back and we, I forgot that he's also medley.

and being like, what are he changes? He's the middler. He's like, he's an odd fella who started off saying movies are all full of smut these days and all of a sudden he's funding the most expensive gay adult film of all time. What a lot.

Couldn't take my girlfriend of this. That's what he kept saying on set. Like, what? As he's fucking cast members. Yes. Well, I couldn't take my girlfriend to see this movie. I don't think there's a girlfriend. Yeah.

So, yeah, he, uh, He vanishes in the editing process. So where did he go to then? That's a great question. Well, it seems after shooting was done, things were getting pretty bad for boss, because seizures were getting worse. Probably all the Coke. Yeah, I don't know if that helps necessarily?

Yeah, look, I don't know that it necessarily triggers epileptic seizures, but I don't imagine it would help. No. They still refer to this guy in medical journals. Like, we've tried everything. Yeah. Coke doesn't work. And we've tried lots of different doses.

We've tried, honestly, heaps of coke. Enough that should kill a man. Yeah, certainly kills their bonus. So, yeah, things are getting worse health-wise. And he says, although there is some doubt about this, but he says that was the rest of his money. That party was kind of like the basically the last of his cash. Really?

And the authorities are like, you couldn't have spent that much money in in the time. Yeah. So, but anyway, he started really miss Carl. You know, like he was filling, he was filling the hole in his heart with Coke benders and orgies. And buying people fitness centers. Yes.

The main reason he'd been able to avoid capture for so long is he avoid returning to San Francisco, the scene of the crime. And he also avoided contacting any family and friends. So there was just no way to link back to him. He's basically just lost himself in this big city. He did travel around, but he's like, if I'm going to settle down somewhere, New York City is a place you can get lost in. Yeah, it's a big city, big population.

You can sort of disappear. But, yeah, he was missing Carl so much that he's like, he's got to go back and track him down. So he goes back to San Francisco, not realizing that Carl had already gone home to Texas. But yeah, he heads back. Back to the Bay, the Bay City. And he checked into a cheap hotel and called old friends from a pay phone at a local Safeway supermarket,

trying to track Carl Downey, go out every day and phone up everyone he could. And this would prove his undoing. Remembering there's a $150,000. Oh, that's quite a lot of money. Yeah, so just like one, only one friend needs to be the rat. And the one friend needs to not like you that. much. Yes.

You know what I mean? I like you a lot, but $150,000. Would you wrap me out for $150,000? In that much money in the 80s, absolutely. But now? No, it's nothing now. No. It's nothing now.

It's nothing now. It's a point of change for Dave now. Western Hall, right, at 6.15 p.m. on November 22nd, George Bosque, finished making his calls from his usual phone in the supermarket lot, crowded with people doing Thanksgiving shopping. He was walking away from the phone booth when police apprehended him. The police had been tipped off by one of Bosch's friends who had their eye on the reward. He'd been at large for 464 days.

Wow. It sounds like he was kind of okay with being caught. Like he was being sloppy and he knew it and it seems like he was, you know, it's like, this sounds one way or the other. I find Carl and we head off into the sunset. Yeah. Or, you know, I pay for my sins. Sounds like a stressful way to live, that kind of looking over your shoulder.

I do just want to quickly circle back just for one second of like, well, so how much would you, how much would you write me out for? Like not 150 grand. But more than that. Yeah. Yeah. So like 200. Now in the 80s. Now. You said 150 in 80s. So don't try and bump her up now. You're trying to get a bit more. You've already given your number. You're pretty good negotiator. No, I wouldn't write you up for 200,000. Half a mill. Okay, we're talking. What have you done? Have you done something bad? I robbed my work. So he robbed us.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I want my money back plus the $5,000. Oh, okay. Wait, Dave's giving the reward. Hang on. So I'm paying myself. Yeah, so it sounds like he was kind of okay with being caught saying,

around that time. I'm very relieved about a lot of things. You get to the point where you hurt so much inside and you're at odds with yourself as to what you're doing with your life and what you've done, that you want to end it. Money buys you nothing.

I've found out that if you have your health and someone you love, you have everything. See, he's like, he's a very tragic figure and, you know, there are things about him that are very unlikable, but it is hard not to feel for him in ways as well. Yeah. Of his friend who ratted him out as well, he said, I bear no ill will to them.

I bear no bitterness because if I got hit tomorrow by a city bus, I could say that I've lived a very full life. That's fair to say, that last 15 months or whatever it was on the run was. He packed a lot in. I can't believe it was that short amount of time. I'm just talking about cocaine. Yes. Like he packed a lot in. And he went to Peru, maybe saw Paddington.

And he was on the jet ski for a bit. Yeah, that's right. Martina, whatever he said. Daggeries, apologies. Interestingly, or maybe not interesting, his prosecutor was Robert Mueller, or Mueller, who went on to head the FBI from 2001 to 2013. And he also was the one who led that investigation in Trump and Russia. But at this point, he was like a 30-something-year-old.

Young hot chat. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, if you're 30-something, young, sexy. The judge really sort of was taking pity on him. It was going to give him quite a small sentence. Apparently it was 20 years maximum, but Mewel sort of pushed that it would be higher than what the judge was going. The judge was obviously going pretty lenient.

So he ended up being sentenced to 15 years in a federal correction institution. I don't feel, and everything feels inconsistent to me. But in my head, it was going to be longer than that. Hmm. Hmm. Gunpoint. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm not necessarily thinking it deserved more, but it just could have been anything and I wouldn't have been surprised.

Yeah, I'm not great at predicting because sometimes it's such a small number and you go, really? That's not a lot of time. Yes. And he didn't end up serving anywhere near that anyway. About five years later, he was out on parole. Oh, wow. She did sadly die another five years later in the early 90s of a drug overdose.

Oh, dear. Authorities continue to doubt that he'd actually spent all the money, as he said. his lawyer's like, that's what he has. And they're like, it seems, he spent it all on this gay porn movie with no, there's just with cash, this can't be right. You know, that does not sound right. And he just gave it for a gym. He made, he funded a gym.

Yeah. This sounds made up. And then when they, they suggest that to him that he'd squirited all the way somewhere, he said, I did give the money away and I did spend the money. Call it stupid, but it's a fact. I gave money to a score of people, different cases on individual merit, without giving it a lot of thought, to be honest. Another time later he paraphrased the famous W.C. Fields line answering with what he did

with the money. I spent half of it gambling, drinking and making a porn film. I guess I just squandered the rest. That's good stuff. Wow. Seemed like the only way, so Lloyd's is the one's hold in the bag. The money's gone. He's gone to jail for a bit.

but he, you know, he's got no cash to give him. No cash here. No cash here. Okay. Okay. So, Lords of London were like still wanting to recoup the money. They want a justice. And they realized the only way they could recoup any money was if they sued for ownership of the film, Centurions of Rome.

No. This is all you've got. All right, we'll take it. So that's what they did. They sued who became the film. I know a hand in hand. Remember the hand in hand paid for the editing? Yeah.

So they had the contract owning the film. Lloyd's... They should be called Dick in Hand. Yeah, I know. They're like trying... It feels like... Yeah. Hand job and hand job.

Mine's better, but that's not bad. No, it is. But I'm working on being nicer. What about dick and butt? Mm-hmm. I think what they're doing is keeping it... You know, they're... Maybe they don't just do porn.

Yeah, true. Maybe they do stuff where they're just walking down the beach hand in hand. And then they fuck. Tastefully. Too much sand. Too much sand. You know what?

I hadn't really thought about this. They could have sued him for his lifetime membership for the Fissfuckers of America. They could have sold that to the highest bid. That's got to be worth a bit of cash. I forgot the lifetime. That's so funny. A little bit later he's like, oh, who cares if I get arrested now? Mate, you're wasting your lifetime membership?

Or if he's like, 15 years, whatever, plenty of fish fucking time after that. I'm going to live for ages. I'll be what, 40? Great. Prime fish fucking time. So Lloyd's takes hand in hand to court and hand in hand go on the offensive. They're like, this is their tactic, which is kind of an interesting tactic that which

wouldn't happen very often in court. They're like, you sure you want to sue us for this? This is a pretty hardcore porno. You know, like you guys are really old. Like centuries old, respectable old funny-duddy company. You want this? And to drive the point home, they made the Lloyd's representatives in court have a look at what they were trying to own. Western Hall, right.

Still photographs of the movie were passed around in court. Anal sex galore. George Payne fisting colligula. A daisy chain of oral sex between the gladiators. The venerable gentlemen of Lloyds of London were red-faced and backed off. Were they that desperate? They considered suing hand-in-hand films for the profits, but would that look any better?

They didn't want the publicity that would accompany the case, so they beat a hasty retreat. Oh, that's so good. And they've just shown them stills. That's it. You want this? Click. All this.

Click. Enhance, click. They're just slowly zooming in. Zimming in on a butt. Actually, we've talked about it. You know what? We're okay. We'll settle for a couple of tickets to the premiere.

So anyway, how was it received? The film was released. First thing I've got to mention, they misspelled Centurials. Can I go? The most expensive game film of all time. Can I ever go at spelling it? Yes.

Are the correct spelling? Yeah. C? No. C-E-N-T You Mm-mm Is this, are you trying to go

What they spelled or the real spelling? Oh wait Real spelling Real spelling Okay, yep, go C-E-N-T No, you do it. Like it was a pretty,

you know, I think a mistake that you could easily make but also someone have a check. It's either an O-N or an A-N they've gone for at the end. So they've done? Yeah.

It's O-N and they went A-N. Ah, it's true. And it's like, you know, it's a simple mistake, but it does feel like, come on, guys. Yeah, just look up. Yeah, get a dictionary. Get a dick.

They're thinking, we don't need a fact checker on the set of this porno. No. So while the spelling wasn't great, financially did pretty well. It's not known how much it made financially exactly. I think all of this stuff was a bit murky. I don't know if great records are necessarily kept. Yeah, nobody was keeping a spreadsheet, as we said.

Well, they were spreading sheets and spread in cheeks. Oh, Jess. What the heck? Crisp high fives today. New Pond Master in town. Now, yeah, they reckon the budget was maybe 200 grand or so. Right. And according to Wall Street Journal,

they think that a big chunk of that was already recouped within the first few weeks of release. Wow. So it's pretty successful. And where is they released? So these like cinemas? Yeah, yeah. Well, this was in the golden age of pornography, by the way.

I know a recent episode of AJ talked about the golden age of Disney This was this was the golden age of porn Is there a little bit of crossover Or is that end just before the golden age 89 was the Disney kickoff The golden age was 69 Appropriately to 84

Right We were due for another They were like hand in hand almost We were due for another golden age Yeah that's right When one empire falls Another one rises Mixed

Critical Critical Like he says completely reasonable words and then beats himself up for it Mixed Oh Reviews Critical It's like because you're scoffing so hard at the critics

What's happening? No I think I was just I'm just going to read it I'm tired You're doing so good It's a great story We are right at the end Critically the reviews

were mixed. Okay. And, you know, remained mixed. The film world guy was pretty rough, calling it an artistic failure and also the strangest gay adult film ever made. Remembering that a bank rubber on the run did a lot of the dialogue on the fly.

Good point, good point. So it was probably never going to be spot on. But much more positively, Gay Chicago wrote, If you simply fast forward to the sex scenes, you'll be missing much of the effect. In other words, view the film as you were to softcore flick and you will be pleasantly surprised. Basically, the same, the dialogue's pretty good. The plot matters.

Yeah. Yeah. For a hardcore fuckfest or whatever he called it earlier. Yeah, it's a hardcore fuckfest. It's a fuckfest 3,000. It's really hard to edit a hardcore fuck. When they're all flaccid from so much coke. IMDB has it at 7.4 stars.

Out of. Matt and Trinianne Brackus, out of. Question my, question my. I'm so predictable. No, I love it. He could trigger you too. I was hoping. Me?

Out of ten. Nobody can predict what I'm going to say. What's going to happen in that mind? Whether you're going to love or hate someone. That's of high school though, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty good. I sizzled it before. The only OMDB goof was this.

During the slave auction, the bidding was in drachmas, which is a Greek currency. It should have been in Cesterti. That's probably about you say that. The emperor was never addressed as your majesty. He would have been addressed as Caesar or Imperator. They also wouldn't have been speaking in English. God.

With Jersey accents? Who the fuck is watching porn with this level of critique? They probably wouldn't have had an extended fisting scene. Honestly, I found it gratuitous. Yeah, that's the point. I hope someone got fired for that blunder. That's the only. Goof?

That's the only one list. Apart from that, it's a perfect... It's, yeah. Everything, you know, like, everything in terms of the era that it was set in, everything was spot on. And like I said, yeah, only a month after this great article came out, there was a bidding war for the rights and it was won by Valparaiso pictures and permit presentations, according to deadline.

And permit is David Permit, who. who produced Face Off. So I really hope it gets made. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, that brings the end of the episode. Sorry, the end of the report. I have been doing on my recent reports giving suggestions for new listeners to other episodes they might like.

Yeah. So I just searched in our back catalogue for heist. And I had no idea how many we've done. We've done a lot. The great maple syrup highest, the collar bomb heist, the Antwerp Diamond Heist, DB, Tuber, and the elaborately planned armored car. Haas, the Pierre Hotel heist, the Millennium Dome Hise, the Qantas Bomb Heist, the Hight and Garden

Hise, the World Cup Trophy Hise, Isabella Steward Gardner Museum Hise, Argentina's Heist of the Century, MacDonald's Monopoly Heist, the Transi Book Heist, the Picasso Ice, the Stone of Schone Heist, and the Loomis Fargo Heist. I was like a lot of course Heist in the name. I think there's like a half a dozen others that are called

The Something Robbery. Yes, exactly. I think I might have, as you and I don't remember things well, but I think I might have the most Highest Hice. Yes, I think you are the Hice King. Hice Queen. Yes. Yeah, we love a heist. They're a great story. They're fun.

Especially when things go a bit of right. It's funny. Or they use their money on a wild thing. Yeah, that's incredible. So, what are you going to call this episode? I was wondering, do I call it like I described it to you and leave that for a reveal for the listeners who don't know the story? Call it Centurions of of Rome the, or just the most expensive gay porno ever or something like that.

Yeah, I think so. We'll get advice from AJ as well maybe after he edits it. The reveal was so fun for me. Yeah, we've got to have that. Got to keep that in there. So if even a small percentage of our listeners are as dumb as me and zone out completely and then remember that there's another part of the story we're linking to, it's a really joyful moment.

I don't think I don't think I make you dumb. That was how it was designed to be. I was hoping there was enough time for you to forget. And I probably could have covered its tracks better, but I felt like, you know, you don't want to be too deceivious. You don't be too deceivious. Because I was initially, I thought I could really manipulate you and make you think that he was going to be the guy who comes in to fund the edit. I'm like, so they needed someone to fund the edit. Now we enter the next guy, but that felt like that was maybe.

Now we enter the next guy? Seems like that probably happened to lot in the movie. Now, I should ask, have you watched any of the movie? No, I've said, I've just, the article's got a lot of photos. I'm wondering. Let's say what, Scorpio is ripped. Oh, I'm imagining Scorpio. Such a hunk.

Yeah. I'm wondering if, like, even if, is there maybe even some less graphic bits on YouTube to some of the acting sometimes? Oh, yes. Because I used to do when I did my quiz show, Factor Factor Factorily years ago, I had a round called Is It Porn, where I'd get people to act out a scene, and then the guests had. to work out, guess whether it was a porno or movie from like a,

so dialogue from like a James Bond movie or something. And then we'd have the reveal. And there's heaps of like compilations of really bad porn acting on YouTube. That's right. That's where I'd source a lot of that. And often it would be like a parody of something. But I'm just wondering, yeah, if there is any, uh, just a, a scene or two, we could. Yeah, I'd love to see what kind of acting they're doing.

This is Scorpio. Whoa. Just shredded. Yeah, okay. he's ripped. Dave, you're missing Scorpio. Oh, Scorpio.

And they can see the Scorpion too. Yeah, which I would have thought came up in the goofs. I don't think they'd have that level of tattooed. Yeah, come on. And Bob, I've got, I thought, I mean, I'm skipping ahead a little bit, but I thought for the game, I've got the list of all the, some of the major films in the Golden Age of Porn.

Fuck, yeah. So I could give one to each of it. Perfect. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of a show where we thank our great Patreon supporters who've signed up at patreon.com slash do you go on pod, which you could too. You might be sitting there going,

oh, I don't want to be left out of all the fun. You don't have to be. You don't have to be, baby? Make it your homepage. Yeah. Just a suggestion. You know, do with that, what do you will. Exactly.

But yeah, in this section of the show, we really do spend a bit of time, you know, just showing our love for our supporters. Without them, the show would not exist. So we literally owe them our life in brackets of the podcast. Yes. Existing, close bracket. Yeah.

The equilibrium on the microphone since they changed a few months ago, I don't know if you guys have noticed, I knock it over once an episode now. It is very good and it's always fun. I'm so fortunate that I've got my mic for some reason. He's on like a long arm. Yeah, you're on Mike 1. And I don't have to worry about that

But I reckon that if I did have to worry about it I'd be worrying about it a lot Is he number one on the call sheet? Do you reckon? No. No, no, no. Yeah, somehow is number four. I was just doing alphabetical.

Piva Perkins. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow, we're very, we're bottom heavy, aren't we? Yeah, we are. We're all pear-shaped alphabetically. Wow, what about, oh, well, you'd be first, we were going by first names.

Thank goodness. Yes. and I'd be last. No, no, no, I don't like this at all. Sir names it is. Middle names. Okay. You're... , okay. You're... I equal. Even playing field. Oh, yeah. But A fan. Oh, yeah, I'm number one. I was like... I'm not, but I'm not even equal. Second and I'm equal. Third. Now, this section of the show, like I was saying, we spent a bit of time. Shon, some love to our patrons. And we do that in numerous ways. And also, Also, Jess, not just the shoutouts in this section of the show, they get other extra special gifts, don't they?

They do. There's four bonus episodes a month, including a bonus report, our D&D campaign, a movie club and something else. That's right. We also, they get to vote on topics. They get early access to stuff. And they get to be in the Facebook group, which is the most beautiful, most beautiful corner of the internet. Yeah, in every way. free way. It's like, it's like rollicking hills in there. Yeah. There's a meadow. And everyone's

profile picture. Oh my God. Hot. Oh my God. It's hot in there. It's really hot. It's intimidating. Even ours. We should call it the sauna. We should call it the sauna. That's good. Now, uh, the first thing we do in this part of the show is thank some people on the Sydney Scheinberg level or above. And they get to give us a factor quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion. I could do that too. Yeah. I don't think we've had a bribe or a suggestion. I could do that too. I don't think we've had a bribe, but I'd be relatively open to it. Yeah. And this section has a little jingle, go something like this.

Fact word or question. Ding. Always remembers the ding. Always remembers the sing. And the way, I think I might be getting sick of that bit because now I'm trying to dismantle it. And then I'll be back to just letting you sing that beautiful tune. Okay. You know when you hear a song too much?

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like that. I worked in radio. Okay. Yeah. But it's also, you know, like bands who get sick of playing the same song, so they do different versions of it.

And the audience is like, come on, man. We just want to sing along. Do the one I want to sing too. Yeah. We can't sing to this, Bob. Honestly, Paul Kelly does that a bit. He'll sort of riff things a little bit. And I'm like, Paul.

Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. I love you. Let me sing along the way I know how. You're a jukebox, Paul.

Paul, I've paid to see you. I put a coin in your slot, Paul. Now, we're doing three today, and the first one comes from Stephen Anderson, Mr. Anderson, who's given himself the title, trainee assistant to the pie master. Ooh, an important role. Dave, I didn't know how to trainee. I've done a lot of outsourcing where they make the pies and I eat the pies. Ironically, it pies are normally insourcing.

It's actually incredible how your brain works sometimes. Sometimes you can't say the simplest words. And other times you come up with shit like that. And I go, fuck me, he's good. Don't you think, should we enter that little clip for the Pulitzer Prize? I think so. And we write it like that. Pulitzer.

How do you say it? That's correct. That's right. Yeah, but not the, what did you say? The Pulitzer. Pulitzer. A car I went to get one of these fancy Pulitzers. Hey, Dar, we've got to make some room on the mantle for my Pulitzer.

Put that fuck in the trash. In sources. This is the kind of thing that will make you think of it, isn't it? Oh, no, I don't need to think. I know you're incredible. You know who it will make think? The Pulitzer judges and it will make them think, winner-winner chicken dinner.

Chicken pie dinner. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah. We just had a new entry and it's knocked the first one off its perch. Jess, congratulations. A bird perch. Jess is a double winner.

Now, Stephen is offering us a suggestion and he writes it thus. Dear use three guys. Hello. Potting while hungry, I began to dream of my favorite pie in inverted commas. And so I went to share a suggestion for Master David in. particular for new listeners. Dave is still listed as Master with his bank account. He never graduated. Is that still? Yeah, paying with my credit card the other day or something. I'm paying for like my own medical treatment. $1,000 for something. And it said, I have to go to type,

and it says, enter exactly as it appears on your card. All right. Master. M-S-T-R. God, this is embarrassing. Anyway, Steve goes on to say, my beautiful wife, I'm breaking up to say, my beautiful wife, open bracket, brag, close bracket, is from Georgia slash sacart, saccatevello, and I wholeheartedly endorse and suggest the Kubdari, a meat pie-ish dish from Svanetti, made with risen dough stuffed with a filling of pounded beef and or pork, and or pork, then chopped and mixed with onion, garlic and a spice blend of cumin, cumin, coriander, dill, pepper, Fenugreek and Phoenician salt. Oh, God, I'm salivating.

That sounds good. I should, and I normally tell people I don't read these soleridum, so I've not looked up any of these pronunciations. I've just nailed them. Pronunciations. I haven't looked at any of these pronunciations. See what I need? Sometimes you can't speak.

Salat times in saucers. It's absolutely glorious. I still dream of my first. Damil. And a little. follow-up, I have not meant as about my first, and a little follow-up suggestion, a meatless alternative for the whole farm. Achiruli, which is like a bread boat taking egg, cheese and butter for a ride.

I am hungry, your trainee assistant, Stephen. Sorry, I bitched. Sorry, I butcher all that, Stephen. Can I ask? Can I read that last bit again? Sure. follow-up suggestion a meatless alternative for the whole fam at jeruli which is like a breadboat taking egg cheese and butter for a ride that's fantastic everything about that is fucking adorable and you didn't bitch it at all i didn't bitch it oh my gosh that sounds great never pod while hungry too that's um we've learnt that the hard way well i tell you what we're about to go eat yeah and uh that i kind of wish that was the last thing i read out because i am starving yeah what was the first thing called i need i need an image of this pie it sounds fantastic uh It is called the Kabdari, K-U-B-D-A-R-I.

Kab-D-A-R-I. Oh, yeah, my goodness. It's one of those sort of flat bready sort of pies. So I like how to have a couple of these in this style in Morocco, which really enjoyed. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh-oh. And here's the little boat.

Probably as people are picturing. Oh, yep, it's a boat with egg. Yeah. Looks fantastic. That's great. What a great suggestion. Yes, please. I reckon we could get one of those out on Sydney Road. I tell you what, I mean, the boat one looks like something you might get at A1 bakery.

Yeah. Yeah. Similar but not quite. They do those sort of bread pies. Actually, that's what you're saying yours was like as well. Is that right? Yeah. Then, yeah, probably, yeah.

We get something like it, but probably not that because I don't think A1 is Georgian cuisine. It's Lebanese, I think. Yeah. different. Oh, I just got, I thought it was Georgia the state. Oh, we got to the country. This is making sense. I was like, the states have to listen.

Yeah. I think that's the, yeah, that's a lesson here. Did you say in brackets the country? No. But I think the slash Sackart Velo made me think it wasn't the state. Yeah, same. I thought I might be very proud of it where they're from in the US also from Sackard Velo.

Oh, true. Because they're both American places, right? Anyway, don't worry about it. I'm going to be finding some Cub diary very soon. I'm just looking up. Sackart Fellow, a Republican Asia Minor on the Black Sea, separated from... I think maybe that's another name for Georgia. Oh, I get it.

Okay, there you go. Pardon me. I'm guessing probably... I'd never assume. Maybe what the locals call it, based on how we often refer to... other countries. We go, oh, too hard. We'll make up our own.

New word for you. Yeah, and if you refer to yourself as anything other than our word, we'll get very confused and scared. And we'll also name a US state and they'll make it even more confusing. And one of my cousins. Now, the next one comes from Aspen Watts, aka official midge expert of the pod. Ooh, it could have an expert in the midge,

which is like a small, is that small, What is a midge? It's a small fish or something? Oh, there's midgeys. Oh, that midgeys. Yeah, it's like an insect. Oh, I'm thinking, yeah, midge, a small fly. I knew it was small, okay?

I think of flights of the fish of the air. You said that. I just said small fish. You said small. Small's enough. Now, probably people use midges to catch fish. What is it? What is an insect, if not the fish of the sky?

Fish of the sky. It's a flying fish. You are 100% correct. Thank you. And you owe nobody any apology. Well, I appreciate that. Now, official midge expert is offering a brag. Hello, little people in my phone.

I am willing to brag. I'm riding with a brag. And I thank you. I recently, March 2026, finished my PhD, assessing anthropogenic impacts of freshwater lakes in the UK using sub-fossil-midges as paleo-ecological. record of disturbances. But he couldn't say pronunciation

properly before. I counted how many dead midges of different species were captured in lake mud to see if humans were fucking the legs up too much at scientific terminology. This meant many, many, many hours of lab work through which the dulcet tones of Matt Stewart

kept me sane. Who knew it led me to do go on where the even more dulcet tones of Jess and Dave made me crazy again. Yeah. Since then, I've seen Who Knewett Live in London twice and now have moved to Canada for work and can't wait to hopefully see all three of you in Montreal. Array!

Unless I've left by then because the job is a bit of a wank, honestly. Love you all. It's not parisocial if I've had drinks with two of you. Correct. That makes it paralytic social. I'm incredible. Wow. What doing this?

Ring ring. Is it the Booker Prize? Yeah. You know that new bit of terminology you've been looking for? Well, listen to this. Sorry, I should have called a little bit earlier. He's already said it. Yeah, sorry.

Say it again. It needs a run. It needs context. No, it's fine. It's good. Hang up, hang up. Hang up. It's embarrassing.

Sorry. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Bapestan. That would be fantastic. Hopefully see you there. Montreal. I'm so excited we're going to Montreal. So cool.

I'm so excited. Just finish watching a show set there. And I'm sad to find out that got cancelled in pre-production for the second season. Which show? Three pines. Yes, you were telling us about that. And it, I mean, it sort of wrapped some things up a little, but not entirely. Like definite cliffhanger, it was built to go on.

So, annoying. Based on books, though. So maybe I'll just take up the books instead. I'm afraid of the books just got cancelled. Sorry, your local bookstore is burning all of the books right now. Apparently the channel and the production company and everyone were keen to make more, but they just couldn't agree to the dollars. Oh, maybe someone will pick it up then.

I hope so. Really enjoyed it. Anyway, thank you, Aspen. And the final one this week comes from Darylund. Okay, official amateur photographer of all of the flowers, all in caps. Now, Darylain's offering us a fact writing, I've often heard Jess talk about a favorite tree, which is also my favorite tree, the beautiful, Jess.

Jacaranda. Oh, it is, I'm glad, because I'm like. What's out of the Crape Myrtle? Yes, I was thinking, Crape Myrtle. I was thinking Jackaranda. Jackaranda. God. Beautiful.

What's that Minot-O song where he says, Jacaranda? Flying doll, ukuleleet on this, wooden floor veranda. We let him get away. Letting by the water love. Letting ball of brim.

Letting for the edge of time. Waiting for the thrill of golden years. I don't know the song. I do now. It's the golden years. Do you think it's golden years? I think it's golden years. Which was on a later career album, admittedly.

It shouldn't work, but they are one of our best bands. They're so good. It's so weird. I love them. I mean, for people who don't know them, they don't sound like what I just did. They do sound a bit like that. That's the thing. He does sound a bit like that.

But it's great. Is it one about this? Yeah. Anyway, Jacker. I just can't hear the word. without saying it like Peter Garrett. Slash John Howard. Yeah.

Mr. Speaker. Orr of there, you do the Jackarrand of Mr. Spulker. Anyway, back to the fact quote of question. I live near San Diego here in California, and I am sure she will be excited to know that according to the San Diego Zoo website, which I think is where Anchorman finished, the first film.

The Jacaranda is the official. Urban tree of the city of San Diego. There are jacarandas everywhere, and when they bloom every third or fourth tree in my town is a beautiful explosion of purple. So nice. When I heard Jess talk about how much she loves them, I got unreasonably excited,

and now I think about her every time I see one. Oh, that's nice. Someone's thinking about you every third or fourth tree. I've got another patron gave me the jacaranda hat. I wish I was wearing it right now. Love that hat. You should give me that hat. Grafton.

Yeah, it is probably a better, it's suited better to you. Okay, no, it's okay. I'll just get Matt to get me another one. Okay, Matt, no pressure. Next time we're up by doing a show on Grafton. I expect a hat. Matt often, he comes to the, Matthew even, I think. He comes to the shows in Brisbane often.

Yes. Let's get back there. He's come to the pod festival here as well. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The frick. That's when he gave me the hat, actually. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, whenever you're done with that hat, feel free to pass it on. I've got a big rotation of hats. I'm happy for you to have it. I've passed hats on to you as well. Yeah, we can do a hat swap. Let's do a hat swap.

You need to bring me another hat, though, because that last hat you gave it to me for nothing. Do you want a hat that has fairy bread on it? Yes. Great. Done and done. Oh my God, I'm going to bring you back a hat from Europe. Oh, my God, that is exciting.

What are you going to ring me? This? She's flipping me off, everyone. We are, sorry, back to Jacaranders. Jackaranders. We are on the middle of the blooming season at the moment. So just know, that means I think of you every time I'm outside for any length of time. Loll.

I also wanted to let you guys know that I've just finished a complete re-listen of all the episodes, including all bonus and D&D episodes. Hugh and Taylor Swift are the only things keeping me sane as my country is burning down around me. I'll be grateful for that forever. I'm the mother of a trans kid, so our life is getting more and more stressful by the day and your podcast do the job of giving my mind a break from the spiraling. Keep it coming. I've been saving the rom-com episodes to binge, and so that's what I'm off to listen to next.

Sorry if I'm excluding the boys, but I feel like it's more important for the girls to bond right now. You guys can have your moment next time. When's it going to be our moment? When a boy's going to have a moment? Next time. Oh, great. We just heard. You've just been told when your moment will be.

We're very next? Put it in the calendar. Imagine being alive for the time that boys have a time. Wow. That is really lucky for Dave and our famous boys. Yeah, next time. Boys next time. This one's for us and I would appreciate it if you don't make it weird.

Uh-oh. I think I might have, sorry. No, but she's addressing me. Oh, KK. Bye. I'm not making it weird at all. I'm delighted to be that you associate something so lovely with me. and famously unlovely person.

Rotten. Unlike those beautiful trees. They'll never rot. They'll never rot. They can't. Real mismatch there. Thank you so much to Daryl and Aspen and Steve. The next thing we like to do is shout out to some of our newer patrons.

And Jess normally comes up with the game based on the topic. Well, here's the thing. So we've just talked about the most expensive gay porno ever made. At the time. At the time. Arguably. And we have. have in-house one of the best porn parody minds.

Oh my God, true. That honestly, the world of entertainment has ever seen. Of all time. Of all time. I said that. At the time. So I think maybe Matt, we should be giving Dave, like, movies. Oh, you know what?

This came out in 1981. I'm going to look up the highest-cressing films of 9-81. Great. And then Dave can porn parify them. And are they going to star in this movie? Yes, they're going to be the star of this movie. They'll be the star. And Jess, if you want, you can.

You can Oh do you want to do the names of place I'll do the real moving Dave does I was thinking you could also give them a porn star name if you wanted to I'll do my best Okay Because you're pretty good at names

I'm okay at names but you know Sure there's a porn star name generator It's probably let me have a look But full disclosure I have not been The Okay first thing I've typed in porn And it comes up with porn addiction helpline

Should I Your algorithm Porn star name What's that number Generator All right, so I'm going to, I'll do the name and place and movie. Just giving the porn sign name, Dave can do the porn. Under the porn parody that they're starring in.

All right, first up from Address on Own, we're assuming from deep within the Fortress of the Moles. Please, if you want to get that Christmas card, just jump in there into the back end and you can add your address in and tick the things saying you will accept mail or something like that. If you want, no pressure. Bob from The Fortress of the Moles, thank you so much. for your support. Rosie Clark. Firstly, I'm thinking Rosie Fark, but that's just, that's just warm enough. Jess is going to do the parent.

That's really good. That's really good. Rosie Fark's pretty good. What about, no, okay, we're generating a new one. Was that too graphic? Linda Grunter. Oh, I like that. And that's like a tennis movie. Oh, no, well, the movies actually.

What is it? Do you want me to pick them at random or go in order? Whatever's easy for you. Well, the 10th highest grossing film of 1980. one in America was time bandits. Time like cram. Yeah, yes. There's a picture of a bar.

Cram itts. Yeah. Cram shits. Yeah. Cram shi. What kind of, what kind of movie is this? We're open to all porn genres. Okay.

And what do you, your time remains the same? Maybe prime. Prime cramits. Hey, if you're going to, if you're going to put holes in all of it, there's not going to be any fun. You've got to get on board. Okay. And then there's a picture of a big butt on the screen, okay?

On the, on the video. cover. Yeah, I would have just called it like tit bandits or something. But it's not yours to name. That sucks. That sucks. Bantits? Bandits? Yes. Better, but not as good as... But bandits? Stop. Now you're getting too far away. The point of a... I didn't change bandits at all. But the point of a porn parody is that it should be clear what it's parodying. So you need to

keep something in there that sounds like time or... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because butt bandits is just something completely different. That doesn't remind me of time bandits at all. Okay, yeah. But prime cram it's. Yeah. That sounds like time bandits. Okay, to me, I picked out the easiest one to sewers. So this is going to be interesting. Going to get really good.

All right, from Osage in Canada. Maybe we'll see you soon. Patrick Chancie. Bobby Jigler. That's really good. Bobby Jigla's fantastic. Thank you so much. And Osage, I'd change that to Massage.

Massard County. That's in my backup of this. This sucks, okay? The movie's called Massage County. Like this sucks. The ninth highest-grossing film was the four seasons. That's got to be the fuck seasons. Yeah, easy.

The porn seasons. Are you allowed to say whore in 1981? Yeah. Because it's a closer rhyme. Yeah, more seasons is pretty good. It could be, what about orgasm seasons? And you've like emphasised the awe. That sounds good.

No. And they're also rowing a boat with an awe. Okay. call it all seasons then yeah oh what about the foreplay seasons yeah okay yeah okay we're back we're back otherwise it's massage count and the movie is all four played no sex yeah yeah and it goes for hours for that's the thing matt the foreplay is part of it mate come on yeah no matt's just like yeah yeah yeah fast forward fast forward what is this what is there a storyline I don't give a shit about where you work.

Matt, what's this? Shoulder massage. Again from Address Anon, another mole person. Thank you so much for your support Michael Verhoeven. Okay, Reginald Lude. Put in the Ho in Verhoven. Reginald Lutz. And the film is for your eyes only,

the eighth highest grossing film. For your ass only. Yep, done. Fantastic. He's good. For your ass only. From Strongsville, Ohio, God's country itself in the US. Thank you so much to John Sheets.

AKA Jizzy Biggins. I'm sorry I just have accidentally always looking you in the eye when I say. I'm fine. Jizzy Biggons. She goes, John Sheets is a good porno name for some reason for me too. That's pretty good. It's already pretty good. But Jizzy Biggins?

Yeah. My goodness. Dave, what can you do? With the seventh highest grossing film, chariots of fire. Charriots of ass. Cherry butts. Charriots of desire. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on. Will you will. How about from Houston, Texas in the United States? Amanda Barnett. Thank you so much to you, Amanda. B.J. Cream. How we're spelling cream? It's a little on the nose.

Like the CRE AM. Maybe it could be like BJ Krem or something. Yeah, that's a surname. Yeah. Come on. All right. I don't know. Is that name generation a bit hack, Jek's?

You should see the background image on this website. I want to get off this website as soon as possible. But the next one I have lined up is insane. The sixth. The sixth most highest gross film, 901, the Cannonball Run. Cannonball come, something like that. Canon balls come. Yeah.

In my balls. The testicle come. What about canon of ball come? Do you see that? This is fucked. Yeah. Yeah, sorry everyone, this is not, obviously, when you see... Your parents listen to this show.

Well, obviously, when you see the most expensive gay porn movie ever made, you think this one's to play for the kids. Yeah, this is for the family road trip. Perfect. Yeah, we'd need to figure out what the name will be, but I think it's going to be that. We decide we'll save the twist. Yeah.

People can hear that in real time. All right. Next up, another mole person. Thank you so much to Karen Pye or P-Y-E. I mean, Dave, is that making you hungry? Karen Pie is pretty good, but slick, spankilicious. Isn't that insane? That is insane.

Slick-spankilicious. And the film is Stripes, the fifth highest-grossing film. Strip. Oh, that's tricky, but there's only one word. Strip. Yeah, strippers, but like maybe in the similar font. Yeah. And they're in like military uniforms.

Is that the movie where they're like, we're not gay but we're willing to learn? Is that true? I don't know. No. I think that might be the first film I saw boobs in though. Okay. So it's already, you know, it's already got boobs. Maybe you'd take the boobs out.

I don't know as that was 81. I've seen stripes many times. You can maybe like pipes and then you'd have to have something in brackets after it. Like of. You know what I mean. Yeah, the next one's also a one-name one as well. And we do have one spare. So do you want to have a go at that as well?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, just to make sure. Oh, that's the movie. Yeah. That's the fourth ice-gracing film. Farca. Farca. Yeah.

And like the poster would be a close parody of the art. Yeah, you have to know them. You have to know the movie. It's a Dudley Moore, like a Dudley Moore look-alike. But he's got a boner. Or a, what's his face? they did the remake? Oh yeah, the guy, the English guy with the nanny.

Russell Brand. Oh. You're thinking of Alfie with Jude Law. Correct. Thank you. Russell Brand did a remake of Arthur. Right. And would you believe the Dudley Moore one is better.

Yes, I would believe that. Oh, we are willing to learn. Studley Moore come. Willing to learn is a line from stripes. So I reckon you could have that as the tagline. That's good, that's good. But willing to learn. Okay, great.

I don't remember that from it. And then they're signing up for the Army. Like, it used to be a question that they could ask. Remember they parodied on The Simpsons? Like, oh, there's a question here that's crossed out. We're not legally allowed to ask for that anymore. He's like, no, I can kind of make it out. Gotcha.

Willing to learn. Maybe that could be a movie club movie stripes. It sounds like it was big for all of us. And very memorable. We could watch big for all of us. Thank you so much to have I said. And from Durham in North Carolina, a quick fun fact, that's where Michael Jordan played his college basketball. He wore the blue shorts there. And then when he went to the Chicago Bulls, he wore them under his red Chicago Bulls shorts.

Really? He had to make them bigger to fit them. Wow. And it kind of influenced a big, baggy basketball short fashion in the NBA. I heard of that. John Stockton was one of the only holdouts. Yeah. Also. The shorties. You know, you could shit yourself and it wouldn't matter. Yeah, you've got a spare.

They're pretty loose shorts. Yeah, it wouldn't matter. I think it... No one would know. I think it would be... No one know. I think it would be clear, yeah. So from Durham in North Carolina,

thank you so much, and sorry for Dave putting that next to your name. Alien McCaskill. And apologies for putting this next to your name. Kitty Hornball! Kitty Hornball! That's really good. Thank you.

Thanks so much to Pornhowto.com. right now we can look up that image that you're forced to stare at. Oh, no, no. Okay, great, go, great. So, uh, the third, uh, highest grossing film, 1989, Superman 2. Pooper Man. It's gotta be Pooperman.

Pooperman blue. And then BLEW. Yeah. Okay, that's good. Yeah. Poo man. He doesn't mean the color. But like, you know, like blue humor, blue, boredy sort of stuff.

I thought that maybe it felt what he's going for. No, he blew. Man. Yeah. Pooperman. I don't think I know anyone else who thinks poop and thinks sex. Well, I'm sure there's others out there. No one's so proudly open about it.

Poop a cam. Just saying. I mean, do you know the only other person who thinks sex is Jessica, because she said it at the exact same time. Yeah, I said Pooperman also. Yeah. Yeah. It came straight to me.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's why you've got to call that help time. Point how to. Hey, look. And I know statistically, 50% of our audience love scout porn. Uh-huh. And are addicted.

They need help. So, you know, no judgment's being made. No, no, no. Penultimately from Anala in Queensland here in Australia. Thank you so much to Bianca Fierst. AKA Ritzi Stroker. Ooh. That's great.

FU.E. Fytherboa. First. It's a great name. I don't think I've seen it before. I love it. Please welcome Ritzi Stroker. And, oh my goodness.

This feels like a lob. Let's see. The second most highest-grossing film of 9-81 in the US was on Golden Pond. See, I think of Piss when I think of Porn. You think of Poo. That's what we're different. Yeah. And that's what's great about porn.

Is there something for everyone? Yeah. One or two, which, you know, make your choice. Which is it? Yeah. There's two sections at this pawn shop. I don't go to section one or you want to get a section two. So we're thinking section to on golden shower So we're thinking

Yeah Yeah yeah on golden showers yeah But yeah pond what can you with pond On golden fondal Something you know fond Pond is the closest He is good He is good but that was bad

On golden showers sure What can you do with pond? No I think I think on golden pond could be enough And it's just a it's just a piss It's a piss for Yeah, maybe it adds something to it On Golden Pond

Colan You do come Get spray Spraying it up Yeah or something like Splashing about Splash Splash would have been a good time On Golden Pond

Colin welcome to the splash zone Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah We all just want to move on Yes Got it, yes.

Colin, get ready to get wet or something like that. Oh, you will get wet. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. No, we've done it. Yes. Yes.

Colin, Colin from head to toe soaked in brackets with pissed. Oh, one. No. And finally, one more unknown location. One more mole person. Thank you so much for your support. I'm sorry that it came up on this episode, as I apologize to all of you. Sayah Patel.

And just a quick side note, I didn't legally change my name when I got married, but I will be changing it to this. Jessica Spreadum. Jessica Spreadum. Or John Hard. Those are the final two. I think Jessica Spreadum is fantastic. Jessica Spreadum. Jack Hump has just come up as well.

Jack Hump. These are incredible. And her covers, like the movie cover story. She works for a conserves company. Yeah, she's from the spreadom family. Yeah, from the spreadom family. We've been spreading it for generations. What do you mean?

She's actually quite uptight. Jessica's found a different way to spread them. All right. So final film, Dave, come on. This is pretty good to the possibilities are endless here. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's got to be, which I think does exist.

Yeah. That feels right. Yeah, Raiders of the Lost Ass. It's really very good. And yeah, Dave. No, it wasn't Dave. Surin and I just recently did a primates about it. About Raiders of the Lost Ass.

About Raiders of the Lost Ass because there was a monkey in there. And it starts Indiana Bones. Oh my God, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you and apologies. Once again to say, Bianca, Allie, Karen, Amanda, John, Michael, Patrick and Rosie. And the last thing we need to do, because there's no triple triptitch club members this week, but there is quite a few triptitch club members inductees.

Dave, what is the triptych club? This is our Theatre of the Mind clubhouse slash Hall of Fame for people who have been on the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years. We put their name up in lights into the clubhouse and welcome them in. These people have been supported the show for a long, long time. So we just like to induct them basically into the Hall of Fame. And once you're in, you can never look.

but why would you want to? Because we've got everything you need, including music, game. A lot of the theatre of the mind going on here. You can picture it however you like. There is a kitchen and bar, though, and Jess is in control of that. Yeah.

Have you come up with a drink cocktail this week? Yeah, I've got a pawn star martini. Oh, lovely. Yeah. And Dave, you normally book a band. I also have wings. Oh. Like chicken wings.

Oh, I don't have wings. I didn't book wings. I thought you might have had Paul McCartney in the gang. I don't. I have chicken wings. Ask me how hot they are. How hot are they? Yeah, just the right temperature.

Oh, perfect. That's good. Not too spicy. Yes, wings did say no to me, but I do book a band, and you're never going to believe who I've got this week. When you read out the title of this week's film at the heart of it, I couldn't believe it, because I've booked the instrumental surf rock band started by Dennis Rose in Newport Beach, California in the 1950s.

It's the Centurians. Whoa. Wait, Dave, that's like the name of this porn movie. Yeah, you never believe it. And their music, it says, on their wiki page, has been used in at least two films. Whoa! Are they one of those bands?

I love that style that sounds like, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Waiper! Is that that they wipe out? Do they wipe out the wipeout band? I don't think they are the wipeout band. I wonder if they've made wipe out their own though. you know with a cover.

Oh, that's by the surfarees, of course it is. Of course it is. Of course it is. All right, so I'm on the door. I've got the clipboard out. I'm about to lift the velvet rope. So we can have a few inductees this week. What do we got?

Nine inductees. Dave's on the stage. He's hyping up the crowd. We've got 1100 plus people already in. They're not allowed to leave and they don't want to anyway. And Dave, once I've, you heard your name and your place of, of residents head on in. You'll hear Dave on stage hyping you up

with some weak word playbess in your name. Jess will be hyping up Dave because there's a bit in this part of the show that he's law and self-esteem, which is obviously just shows how good of an actor he is. Thank you. My big problem right now, though, is I have to take my mind out of porn parody territory

and back into name parody territory without making it too smutty. So, I must be luck. I mean, if it happens, it happens. It happens. Yeah. I say good luck, but I don't mean it. From...

I want you to go porny. And we're going to get up a bit of momentum here So we can really free up Dave's mind Who you're talking to? Yourself? Because you're the one who fucking wrecks the momentum. What an interesting time to jump in with an interlude that took time off. All right, guys.

Let's just... All right. No, but I do have a fun story, actually. Well, I wouldn't call it fun. It was two years ago. Two? No, 18 months. No, it could have been more like 20 months, actually.

What do you call it? He called 20 months. What do you call that? Almost two years, I guess. You know, a friend of mine actually has trouble remembering how long things are, Greg, and he is a really interesting guy. He's actually got a bit sick lately. And I hope he's doing well.

Really should get, call him. Find out if he's okay. Oh, no, that's right. He pulled through. No, he's doing actually quite well now, Greg. But he loves a sausage this guy. Oh, barbecueing. All right, so we've got nine names.

Dave, are you ready? I'm ready. Jess, are you ready? I'm ready. Not porn, not poor, not poor, not poor. I won't be a bitch again. Here we go. For this episode.

From, welcome into the Triptage Club. Get ready to hear the Centurians. Grab yourself a Porn Star. Martini. And, you know, there's probably a few, you know, statistically speaking, 50% of the people in there are Pornstores. Yeah. I don't understand what statistically...

Don't grab them, though. meaning means. All right, first up from Littleton in maybe Colorado in the United States. Welcome into the club. Noah Poymbwalf. More like blow up in Poynebov. Yeah. Sorry, nice to Noah. That's nice. That's nice. Noah Pornbooth. I love the name. I couldn't begin to know how to say. No one has ever pronounced that pronounced. Pompuuf. Because that's beef in front. I mean, I love it. Noah Pumbooth. I think it's my favorite

French word is Biff Anyway, from St. Louis or St. Louis, I forget in M.O., which I also forget, in the United States, welcome into the club, Michael Hemp Hill. Michael Hump Hill! But I'd love to climb your hill. Both pretty point.

I'd love to smoke you, hemp. Great, yep. M.O.'s Missouri. We'll never remember that for some reason. So sorry, Missouri. from Lobothal, a beautiful spot in South Australia. There's a brewery there, I believe, that gets good raps about it. Thank you so much.

Oh, I know this person from the Adelaide Fringe, Emily Orbury. Better than a strawberry. It's Emily Orberry. There's my bad boy specials coming out soon, and Emily inspired a thing when she said, when she said sounds like toxic masculinity to me. I turn that into a bit. Put it in someone else's memory. So, took it out of Emily's mouth, put it in her barista's mouth.

Nice. Little peek on the curtain. From Tom Ball in Texas. Welcome into the club, Cammy Jamison. Oh my God, what a name. We got a double Cammy jammy. Like double whammy, but I thought, you know. Yeah, you did have to explain that.

Cammy and Jamie, that's a double whammy. Love it. From Balcades in maybe Saskatchewan in Canada, welcome into the club, fire with the pH. You're on. Fire! How'd you come over that? From North... A fire in the hole.

That's when we pushed them in the hole. Yeah, the first one was sexy and the second one was not sexy. Yeah, absolutely. Yep. From North Ridgeville in God's Country, Ohio in the United States. Welcome into the club, Captain Bonn Clay. Captain Bon, hey, hey, hey. Can you explain that, yeah?

I can't. That's not a sexy one. Woo! Captain Bon, hey, hey, hey. Just like, did you hear the, well, you got to say it how I said it. Hey, hey, hey, hey. And waggle your finger a little bit. Like, is that like that Albert?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Is that what you doing? Is this momentum to you? I don't understand it. That's all from Norwich. Aha. In Norfolk, Great Britain. Welcome into the club.

Meg Bays. I don't do something about being a bay, but that feels a bit too. You've been doing porn ones. I think you can call someone Bay. You get Meg turns into egg pretty easy. Good egg. You're a good Meg. I love what about the Meg is here.

Oh, yeah. It's a Meg, Bazelodon. From Sorel in Tasmania here in Australia, welcome to the club, Melody Gleason. They certainly give me some Gleason. Woo! You'll me follow Gleason. Okay, that was the horny one.

And from McKay in Queensland here in Australia. Welcome in. Oh, the, what do you call it when it's just one name? Like Madonna or whatever? Mononym. Yes. The mononymed Lauren. Don't Warren.

It's Lauren. Don't Warren, it's Lauren. What? Thank you so much and welcome Indy to the Club. Make yourselves at home. Lauren, Melanie, Meg, Captain Fire, Cammy, Emily, Michael and Noah. What a fantastic batch of names and an even more fantastic batch of people.

A perfect batch of angels. That brings the end of the episode. There's no Triple Trip Ditch Club members in this week. But yeah, those people, if you just patiently wait six years. Yeah. You will be in. That's all you have to do.

Wait patiently for six years. Jess, anything we need to do before we go? Tell people stuff or anything? I have to remind people that they can suggest a topic. You can also find us on social media. Our website's do go on pod. You can find us that do go on a do go on pod on socials. So do that.

And there's clips and we're cute. Dave, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. And goodbye. Later. Bye. Wipe out.

Don't do. Damn down down down down down. Yeah. Oh! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out.

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