Do Go On - 569 - The Wild Life of Klondike Joe

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

On this week's episode we hear the story of Joseph Boyle aka Klondike Joe, a Canadian man whose life has so many different chapters your head will spin!We're halfway through our Canadian tour and this episode was recorded live in Vancouver! If you're keen, we've got three final shows this week in Montreal and Toronto with tickets available!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 06:22 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpod Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://europecentenary.eu/the-bolsheviks-and-romania-the-first-step-towards-truce-and-betrayal/https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/10/21/klondike-joe-boyle/https://www.canadianhorseracinghalloffame.com/2001/01/05/charles-boyle/https://yukon-news.com/2017/11/09/lets-all-celebrate-joe-boyles-birthday/https://web.archive.org/web/20090412121441/http://www.nhl.com/cup/incidents.htmlhttps://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/klondike-joe-boyle-birthday-whitehorse-fraser-1.4385107https://www.canadianhorseracinghalloffame.com/2001/01/05/charles-boyle/https://www.biographi.ca/en/bio.php?id_nbr=7794 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen up, nerds, because we have some updates for you. Particularly if you live in Canada. Nerds. And in Toronto, if you're a Torontoian nerd, we've added an extra show in Toronto. Our first show live at the Royal Theatre on September 20 is nearly sold out. So we're adding an extra show straight afterwards. And guess what? It's the annual Christmas special.

Woo! Yes! So that's very, very exciting. We're also doing shows, of course, in Vancouver. That's almost sold out as well. Calgary are still a lot of tickets there left. And Montreal, quite a few tickets too. Is it the Calgary?

Do you think there's tickets available because we're saying their name wrong? And they're like, oh, I wish she was coming to Calgary. Never even heard of Calgary. And you can get tickets to all those shows, including the new one, do go onpod.com. Canada, we'll see you in September. Welcome to another episode of Do Go On, Vancouver. How you doing out there? Thank you so much.

My name is Dave Warnocki and, as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Parkins. And we are so stoked to be here for our first ever north. American Live show. Can you believe it? I can't believe it, eh. All right. Sorry. Sorry. I hated it. Sorry. It sounds so cool when you say it. It does sound cool to us. Sounds really cool, eh. Dave, what was the, you just at the venue here today, you got your first. Oh yeah, Kyle, our fantastic sound operator tonight. Oh, it's up there. Thank you so much. He just asked before, I hope you don't mind me saying this. He's there. We couldn't get the power going. He goes, Is that working A?

And I said, thought, yes, my first A in Canada. It was a thrill. So good. Great, I can go home now. So nice to take in a bit of culture. Yeah, we love it. Yeah, yesterday we walked, what, 45 minutes to a shop so I could get a pie. And at the front it said, pies, authentic Australian style.

Yeah, good to get some local culture. Yes. I didn't realize that part. It's good to try new things. Yeah, good to try new things. Yeah. It's nice to have a Canadian explain a pie to us as well. He was like, so if the pie comes with gravy and we're like, we know.

We specialize in pies here. I like us explaining maple products. Anyway, now we always start, we start of these live shows. We're so excited to be here live at the Rio Theater. We really appreciate you coming out. It's so exciting to kick off the tour in this beautiful venue. Now, we always ask, give us a cheer if you've ever heard the podcast before. Excellent. Thank you so much.

Great to have you in. And don't be sure we always ask this second question. Give us a cheer. Be proud of you've never heard Do Go On in your life. There's always one in the front row every single time. So, stoked to have you in. Have you been dragged along? Yes.

Yeah. Appreciate you. You know that band? He's wearing a t-shirt of that band that play real cool music and they wear like masks and funny, fun outfits, black and white? Slip not? Where are they? They're like from Scandinavian.

or something. Close. Close. Quebec. The Scandinavia of North America. Is that true? They're Canadian. Yes.

Oh, they're great. And you say, they're called Engie? Angine. Du Patrine. Bless you. But they, um... Fucking else. Already there's nearly nothing we can use of this episode.

So to our Scandinavian friend, there's never heard of the show. Thank you so much for coming out. I just assumed, I must admit, I assumed that we're Scandinavian. Look at these weirdos. Gotta be Scandinavian. Yeah. For anyone new, this is it.

This is it. We try to get it going and he'll think of something else. Which makes me think. What we do here is we take it in terms of a report on a topic, which is often suggested to us by one of our beautiful listeners. We go away, do a bit of research, bring it back to the group in the form of a report. And it is Matt's turn to report today. Give it off a man, everyone.

Thank you so much. And to get onto the topic, we always start with the question. Jess and I, we're fully in the dark here. We've got no idea what you're going to talk about tonight. Yes. The question is, was written very early this morning, so it's kind of tangential, but I reckon you should be able to get it.

What element has the chemical symbol A-U? Gold. Correct. Well done. just shimmied for the people of home. Oh, they could feel it. This week, we're talking about a Canadian who in part is known as a man who struck gold in the Klondike Gold Rush.

His name is Joseph Boyle, aka Klondike Joe. Oh. I suggested this. I was going to ask. It's the reason I found this topic because I searched the hat for Vancouver, and it was only suggested by one man. so I really hope it was you. Matt Peters from Vancouver.

I'm so glad you're here. I did tell... He's taking a selfie. It was funny to see from here. That's awesome. Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt. I know it wasn't for me, but I still did enjoy that. So, yeah, Matt suggested it twice.

In September of 2018, and then, in September of 2019. So I really didn't expect you to be here. That's sick. I'm so glad you are. Anyway, yeah. Apparently, even though

he had a wild story, he's Canadian, his story isn't that well known in Canada? Can I... You know what you're called. Scandinavia. Yeah. That's where the confusion lay. I tell you what, this Andrew.

Gene fan in the front row is fucking hating this. No, no, no. And he doesn't wear it lightly. Like, that's a face that is easily red. When we make eye contact, he just lights up. Okay. Oh, my goodness. I feel like a connection here.

Sorry, dude, married. I'm looking at his face. All right. So, Joseph, how's this for a middle name, Whiteside Boyle, was born on the 6th and 0.1. November, 1867 in Toronto, Canada, which is a beautiful city, is that right? No. No.

He was the, remember a Vancouveran suggested the topic. He was the youngest of four children to Martha Bain and Charles Boyle. His father, Charles, was a champion horse trainer who was inducted into the Canadian Horse Racing Hall of Fame in 2001. Unfortunately, he was not able to attend the ceremony as it occurred 82 years after he died of old age. Always the way. Jasmy South.

The campaign, how slow was it, to get him in there? He was a four-time winner of the Queen's Plate, which apparently is the oldest continuously run race in North America. It's even older than the Melbourne Cup. Can you believe that? I can't. I won't believe it. Only by a year.

Oh, okay. So I think if you're roundup, it's about the same. And aren't they, they're behind in time? So I don't know if it technically, I think. Yeah. We're feeling out on the streets. to you. His winning...

Not really, not really. In all honestly, I'm really only bringing up the dad because of the name of one of his champion race horses. In 1883, his plate winning horse was named Roddy Pringle. Some rodheads in. Roddy Pringle. That's a great name for me. Roddy Pringle.

And that's... But this is in the 1880s. All names were available. Yeah. He could have just been Roddy. Yeah. Yeah. Could have been the Titanic.

But I love an alternative universe where, like, the horse is called the Titanic, so they have to name the boat Roddy Pringle. Ah. Is the horse name generator? Yeah. This is before the horse name generator. And they still came up with Roddy Pringle. Wow.

It feels AI, doesn't it? It really does. But, yeah, so not super relevant, but maybe kind of relevant because Joe would often attend race meets with his dad. And as well as being a successful trainer and candidate, the old man Charles also operated a stable for leading horse owners in New Jersey and New York as well. And in 1885, a couple of years after Roddy Pringle's famous run in the plate, Joe traveled with his dad to New York. And it was there that he met a sailor randomly who invited him to work on the ship and apparently he left a goodbye note.

for his dad and hit the high seas. Just straight out. As a teenager. That'd be a funny note for your dad to get. Sorry, dad, going to work on a ship. Catch a later. Eh. While still a teenager, he was apparently a pretty well-respected member of the crew.

There's not a lot of, not a lot known about his time at the seas, but the most infamous story is apparently when he saved a fellow crew members. life. Now, the story goes, that a storm rocked the ship one night and a man went overboard. All of a sudden, a shark swooped in. She sent a chance for a meal. Next thing. A shark swooped in.

Swooped. Wow. Wet, wet swoop. Yeah, I go. Wet swoop. Are you picturing like a swooping in air thing? Yeah. Yeah.

Is a wet swoop a dive? Yeah. It's like a reverse dive as well because they're coming up to the service. Yeah. Hang on, just leave us with it for a sec. So he's kind of like a reverse wet swoop. Yes. Great.

Does that make sense to you? Are we all on board? But in the northern hemisphere, that's the opposite. Oh, yeah. Because you know how they call us from down under? Here, they're from up over. Yeah. It's a weird system up here, I got to tell you.

Everything's backwards up here, eh? Well, so, so it's sharks there. Sharks there. And everyone's like, oh, well, he's fucked. but not Klondike Joe, who's not known as Klondike Joe yet, he's just known as this boy Joe. Cabin boy. Cabin boy Joe.

Joe grabs a knife, puts it, betwixt his teeth. No. Dives in and takes on the shark, mano e-sharko. No way. Stabs it in the face if a shark has a face. And then according to... What else would it have? You think of that thing as a face?

It's like more of a nub. He stabbed it in the snout? Yeah. Anyway, according to Martha Black, who was a contemporary of Boyles, and also known as a Yukon's first lady, Yukon is an error of Canada, if you guys don't know. They've only got one lady. And she was the first.

She was the first and only. And the last, I guess, in that way. but according to her he saved the man by plunging a knife deep into the shark's body and then carried the wounded sailor back to the ship anyway that's some badass stuff

this story's mentioned a lot in different sources but not necessarily in any of the more reputable ones I couldn't get I don't know why I couldn't get past the knife in the mouth I just couldn't get past that because then you're jumping in the water just can cut yourself in the mess

Yeah, your lips is bleeding at that point. Yeah, yeah. And then it's not quite as badass when you get out going, oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh. Yeah, does anyone have any lip balm? Yeah. He's put it in long ways. Oh, no, I swallowed the knife. You foreshadowing, he invented circus.

No, he didn't. He invented circus. He invented circus. That's not true. He does go on to have a lot of careers. Circus was not one. Just for people who talk for a living. It's funny when we go, he invented circus.

Yeah, well, I don't do like normal talking. I'm keeping my eye on Angeen, man. What's your name, Angeen, man? Jesse. Jesse was a friend. Shut up and read. Yeah, he's always been a good friend of mine. Read it.

Is that Jesse's girl? Well, Man, she starts talking cute. I want to tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot. You had that song up here? Famous Melbourne singer, it doesn't matter. I think you made it over here. Just stick to the script, buddy.

I was so jet lagged before doing the All-Night of writing this. Anyway, I'm like, I shouldn't have done that, but then I wouldn't have this. Matt's been sleeping like 23 hours a day of year. Like you're on no time zone. He emerges around 5pm thinking it's 10 a. It's happened every day. Every day. He goes, guys, where are we going?

Yeah, and he comes out and he goes, have you guys been out? We're like, yes. They're brushing her teeth. I'm assuming it's morning teeth brushing. And it's bedtime. Anyway. Beautiful city you've got here. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, and then you had the goal to say that someone had told you that Vancouver is very similar to Melbourne. And then after we'd gone to one, sports bar to watch an NFL game and then taking an Uber home, you went, I just don't see it. You hadn't even been out in the daylock. It feels like it really does feel like it's, and not a, not a knock on it. It's a beautiful city, but it's not a, it's not like Melbourne. No, it's just like a big sports bar. It's like a sports bar and then, you know, a car ride.

That's not Melbourne and me, man. I'm normally on the tram. You do have those weird buses that are connected to electricity for some reason. Oh, yeah. Let's not get so. He has such a long report. Let's not be those people who are like, you guys do things a little different.

Like, yeah, we're on the other side of the fucking world. So he just defeated a shark. Next thing, let's skip ahead. Next thing we hear, they're shipwrecked off the coast of Cork in Ireland. Unfortunately, he doesn't have. enough money to his name to buy a ticket home, so he has to get a job and he works as a tour guide there. The guy who's never been. Just goes, yeah, yeah, cork. Yeah, I'll tell people about cork. Oh, there's the shops. And he worked there for a few months to save up enough money

to get a ship ride back home to North America, America specifically. And it was about three years after running away from his dad on a business trip. That William Rodney write, and I lean on William Rodney, who I think of, of course, as kind of... What was the things that? Roddy Pringle. William Rodney Pringle. Rodney Pringle writes for the Dictionary of Canadian biography

that he returned to the big city as a mature, hardened young man. Roddy continues... So, Rodney continues, almost to me, he married a young Belgian divorcee. Emily Raynor, profiting from his father's turf connections, he then started a successful feed and freighting business. I don't need to explain what that is, we all understand. He does things quickly.

He just gets home. It was within a couple of months. He's married. When you know, you know. Yeah. And they start pumping out kids. They have four kids over the next few years. Pumping out kids.

How would you say that? No, that's how I'd say it. Splute. Yeah. Just another one of those things where I had an out-of-body experience, hearing an Australian and I went, Jesus Christ. Pumping out the kids. Pumping out kids.

Hmm. He's also the old man of the pod, so he did not hear that. No, I did not, I did not understand. I loved it. I loved the energy of it. Yes. But what I heard was, so, sub, bum in the power!

Did you understand? saying what the words were? Feminist of the pod. The feminist of the pod. The Irish person understood. Is that Irish? No. No.

This man knows accents. I tell you what, Jesse. Jesse's hand in hand shaking. Jesse, we've been doing this for 11 years. I'll get the hang of it any day. So anyway, yeah, they start pumping out kids. But the marriage. just wasn't good, didn't last, ended in divorce in 1896.

She's a double divorcee. Yes. That's very chic. Trade, trade, trade, true. So they had four kids, add to her already having a kid. She's got five kids. He's around 29. They break up.

He goes, I'll leave it with you. Different time, as the feminist of the pot, I'll say, mate, you've got to share the load. I was Sharon Lowe's Yeah my God Dave trying to steal A heckle joke That's not true

That is exactly what happened We are sympathico Buddy You are a little bit quicker than me That's true But if you could shut the fuck up From now on Leave it to the professionals

You're not living through A little bit of jet lag as well Like yeah So yeah He's moving on What is the next chapter hold As I say he's going to jump through careers. Obviously, you probably already guess it. He's getting into boxing.

That feels right. That feels right. Yeah, 29's a right time to start. More on the management side. Oh, yeah, great. Rodney writes, Boyle was a strong, powerful, heavy-limbed and rugged-looking six-footer. So it makes sense that you got into the boxing game, managing and sparring with Australian boxing champ Frank Paddy Slavin, who we actually spoke about in the kangaroo kicker episode a few years back. The kangaroo kickers, you two might not remember it, but the Australian made it big in college football in America. And his younger brother actually trained Slavin.

So there's a very close overlap here. But anyway, Rodney continues. Hoping to capitalize on Slavin's reputation as a one-time contender for the world championship, the two embarked on an exhibition tour that eventually took them to Alaska. What the fuck is wrong with you? Sorry. I jumped over the city name to say,

I'm like, I know how to pronounce this other one, Alaska. And I said Alaska. How do you say the, the Juno? Juno. Do you know Alaska? Is that right? I don't think you do know Alaska. A bit of fun.

A bit of fun. Oh. Sorry, I would have been quicker. that guy in the crowd would have got there way quick. Dave, can I just say that was funny as. Thank you. Thank you. If you don't know the two American cities,

I think people in the audience will, but people at home might not, and I did not have to Google it. Where he was in New York City to Juneau was quite a distance. It's about a 10-hour flight these days or 66-hour drive, but back then you couldn't fly or even drive. So it took way longer. It was horse and carding it, maybe a few trains, bibs and bobs,

stopping every few cities along the way, I have a fight. Pass the cap around, made a few loonies. Maybe a couple of tunis. I really wish we didn't live in a cashless economy. I haven't seen a single one of any of those fucking things. You haven't left the Airbnb. You haven't seen anything. Where would you have seen the loony and or toony?

Oh, that's a really good point. So, yeah, there's lots of little chapters in the story like this. He's already been a sailor, feeding freighting businessman. I think we all understand what that means. Now, a boxing manager slash sparring partner. Sure. But he's not done yet with his career changes. This is where we get to Klondike.

This is where he got his nickname coincidentally or actually not coincidentally. It's absolutely the opposite of coincidentally. I went in Alaska. Where did the Klondike Gold Rush? Is that a famous thing here, the Klondike Gold Rush? Where from Melbourne? And Melbourne was basically a city born in a gold rush. Around the same time, actually.

Maybe slightly earlier. No, it's not a rush. Fuck, I didn't mean that. And I'm sorry. It's not a race. Vancouver's actually a pretty young. I was so surprised that. Vancouver's younger than Melbourne.

Hey, hey. So I just wanted to ruffle the city's hair there for a second. But yeah, the word of the Klondike Gold Rush made its way over to Alaska. And it was peaking. So they headed to the Yukon Territory over the Canadian border, which was at north of where they were from Alaska to get up to the Yukon, way up in the northwest of Canada. Like very rugged country even now, but back then super rugged. And they went there to try their luck. So, yeah, another career change.

Now they're gold diggers. And by the time they arrived, it seemed that most of the best plots had been staked already. But rather than give up, Joe had other ideas turning to dredging. Basically, like, I think it's just a really environmentally friendly way of stripping the land of everything it's worth. Cool stuff.

Yeah. Skipping over a few of the details there. He did strike at Rich doing this. but he had to go to Ottawa to lobby the government to give him permission to dredge. Apparently the journey down south alone just to see a politician took a while. Michael Gates for Yukon Newswrights. He left the Klondike over the Dalton Trail in the fall of 1897 through deep snow and raging blizzards. So grateful were his travelling companions of his leadership on the six-week journey

that they gave him a gold watch. Are you hinting at getting a present at the end of this tour? Because maybe we will if we see some leadership. Yeah, that's right. We'd be grateful. It's really hard to lead from bed, but... Maybe we've got you a gold watch. You'd get up on time.

You know I have a sleeping disorder. Undiagnosed. But peer-reviewed, for sure. The process of convincing the powers of be took a few years. Having left the goldfields in 1897, he was only granted a lease there in November. of 1900.

So it was a long process. But Rodney writes, the lease was on approximately a 40 square mile area, fronting the river between the mouths of the Bonanza and the Hunker Creeks. What? Give us those again. The Bonanza and the Honker creeks. Yes. Wow.

Which one do you want? Bonanza or a hunker? I see myself as more of a hunker. How did I know that's what you were shoes? You're a bonanza. I'm a bonanza. You're right. Dave loves an ironic nickname

and what? You're all right, cobra. It's Cobra, thank you so much. Howard Canaan and my God, just read the fucking word of front of you. I'm so sorry.

Rodney continues, in spite of local opposition and numerous lawsuits, people going, please don't do this to a creaks. Please, 40 square miles, please don't do it. We need these cricks. This is Hunger Creek.

I'm bringing in machinery to just fucking dredge this shit up. But yeah, he gained control in time of the Canadian Klondike mining company limited in 1909. So he was there for a bit of time. Which it doesn't seem like his usual style. No, he's only bouncing around. Like the fact that it's taken him years to just get permission. I'm like, surely he's bored by now. But he is making huge coin or loony.

And he then parlayed all of this cash. into a mini empire, which at its peak consisted of four dredges. At the time, three of them were the world's largest. He had three of the largest dredges in the whole world. Wow. So not only was a bad, it was really bad for the environment. He also had to start a power plant to power them all. Oh, perfect.

Which meant he was also able to make a fortune as the sole supplier of electricity to nearby Dawson City, which was the big city nearby, big city relative to the area anyway. There's no Vancouver, if you know what I mean. If Vancouver even existed yet. It did. It was at this time he got the nickname his best known by Clondock Joe or the King of the Clondike. Dave, what do you reckon of that? I think Clondike Joe's sick.

Clondock Joe's sick. I love Clondock Joe. Anyway, it's time for another change of career. This is sort of nestled in in his Clondock Joe period. But he said to have speak. headed efforts for community improvements. You know, he wasn't just raping the land of its resources. He was also giving a small portion back in community improvements, which included

launching some local sporting initiatives, of course, including some boxing exhibitions. But also, he funded a local ice hockey team out of Dawson City, who according to Rodney, were variously known as the Klondikers, the Nuggets and the Wanderers. It's classic rich guy behavior buying a sporting team, I reckon. Yeah. Still in vogue to this very day. Who did he choose these players? Well, he didn't have many options. It was just super rugged rag tag band of miners. You there!

Yeah, exactly. Hey, you're good with a pickax? I reckon you'd be good with a hockey axe. Have you got all the lingo down? Amazingly, back in those days, other teams could challenge the holders of the Stanley Cup. a rule that remained in effect until 1924. Are you familiar with the Stanley Cup up here? Have you heard of this, seen this?

So you just challenge the winner. You could challenge the current holders of the Stanley Cup. I think the unwritten rule, or maybe even written rule, was he had to be the champion of your own league, and then you could challenge the holders. But can you challenge them to anything? Could you challenge them to darts?

Oh, good one. Yeah, they're like, you've got to be more specific in these rules. Yeah. Yeah, can you throw a dart, Wayne Gretzky? You probably could. Name one other hockey player. Tim Horton. Tim, fuck.

I'm about to name a couple, but even having written them down last night, I couldn't tell you without reading them. Yeah. So anyway, apparently could challenge back then. Okay. And Klondike Joe did. He took his team. Even though they, even though they probably should have been the champions of their league, They weren't.

In fact, they weren't even really in a league. But he still, he challenged the current champions, the Ottawa Senators, who were then known as the Ottawa Silver Seven. And he challenged them to the Stanley Cup. This is apparently a legendary team in hockey. There's a couple of murmurs there, which I assume are murmurs. Of positivity. Of agreement.

Yes. Yes, his research is very accurate. Oh, we remember all that. Spot on again. I'm having a wonderful time. Oh, I might tip this man a loony, maybe a tuning, which everyone's greater. But yeah, because it's sort of unclear why the challenge was accepted because they weren't champions or even in a league. But maybe Klondike Joe's connections he'd made in Ottawa, you know, which is the capital.

I might have Thank you so much for having us in Canada Oh, what's our capital in Australia? I can't believe you knew that Well, that was the Canadian jelling up Do you say those clowns up in camera? Don't get started I don't know if you have bad politicians over here

No, I think that's just us. That's just us. That's just, that's a unique to Australia. Corrupt and seemingly inner for themselves. Quite selfish, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, weird. But say they're for the people. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah. So good to be up here where there's democracy. Oh no, it's below the border, isn't it? That's where they've got freedom. What, like Guatemala? Yeah, you've got to go south of a couple of borders. Americans really believe they're the only ones for it.

Anyway, um, not the ones who've traveled. The ones in here tonight. I'm only joking about you, but you know guys back home. Oh, a bit of work for AJ to do. I'll tell you that.

Jesse AJ is the editor. Uh, for the listeners, Jesse still has his hand on his face. Anyway, so, so, yeah,

say, for some reason, Klondock Joe, rag tag team is now playing in a Stanley Cup playoff. That's so good. But to get there, I told you before how long it was to get from New York to Juneau. It was similarly rough journey from Juno to Ottawa.

I hope I'm saying that. Right. But yeah, oh, no, I've written this really funny thing that I think is going to go down great. Get ready, everyone. Let me say this. Ooh, blah, blah, blah. So yeah, it's crazy. It's like crazy for the...

What are they like? This honestly, I had to Google part of this to... I really hope this is going to hit like a... So can you even just whether or not it feels it? Can you just give it? I can't look at you. Give it to me like it was worth the five minutes. Wow, that's probably overstating.

The three minutes it took. So yeah, it's crazy. Underdog sort of thing. You go on this real Bush League teague taking on the champions. Yeah, it seems wild. It'd be such a mismatch. It'd be like the Canucks being challenged by the Seattle Cracken. Wow.

Now, what do you prefer when an audience laughs or when they go, oh, my God. What's better? I mean, that was fantastic. And I was the Irish person too, I think. Still not Irish, no. I had to Google who the Seattle team were. It's crazy. They've got a team called the Seattle Cracken.

I've heard of most sporting teams in the world, but I've not heard of them. Right. That's right. That's right. You haven't heard of it. Honestly, the idea was to get the one-sided Vancouver side on board, but not realizing that half the audience would be from Seattle. Now they're fuming.

Okay. Okay, you're from Seattle. Have you heard of the Cracken? Bit of fun there. Bit of fun. I'm asking a person specifically, oh my God, also named Jess. I think the whole front row might be. Can we confirm?

You're Jess? My people. Jess took me on a private tour of the Seattle Zoo to meet some orangutans. So I could. see the hurt in Jess's face when I said where you're from Seattle she's like you know I fucking am I was playing it off because I'm like

it'll take too much to explain otherwise but we've done it anyway but as a people pleaser I couldn't have left you with that face feel better now oh no doing the love symbol I think that's what that is or is that the symbol that a baboon's ass makes

anyway what What? So they're in the Stanley Cup. So they're in the Stanley Cup. Which these days you have to like win a lot of games to get into. They didn't. They just had to send an email or equivalent.

But it was a long way to get there. It was a crazy journey. According to the NFL website, Conduct Joe and his team. The NFL are writing about this. Okay. Let me, mate. What's the hockey NHL? Probably could have figured that out.

According to the NHL website, Klondock Joe and his team encountered problems no modern day outfit could ever imagine. The team traveled 46 miles by dog sled the first day and 41 miles the next, also by dog sled. Temperatures were in the neighborhood of 20 below zero and some players suffered blistered feet on the third day of traveling. The team missed a boat connection on the West Coast

and had to wait five days for another, which took them from Seattle to Vancouver, then it was a marathon train ride, Vancouver. Ottawa. Somehow the Dawson City team arrived after 23 days of travel, just one day before the series with the Silver 7 was to begin. It was, and probably always will be, the longest any team ever traveled in a quest for the Stanley Cup.

Not the ideal preparations, fair to say. They'd obviously be super wrecked before the game even began. And despite this, they refused an offer. to have the date changed. But apparently there, when they're trying to arrive, the whole town rocked up in Ottawa. They don't have a lot to do there. And they,

hey, how about those losers over in Ottawa? And if they're listening, good, I'm joking, I'm being ironic. So, we love you. You're the capital. So, anyway, they're playing in a best of three-match playoff. I don't know if you could guess this. They didn't,

Ottawa did not need three matches to, decide this. I should also say the team were not only known for their brilliance and prowess on the hockey rink. They're also known as an incredibly violent team.

Ah. At half time... Is that not brilliance and prowess on the rink? Oh, true. It is when I do it. At half time, the visitors were doing okay, down only 3-1, which probably, you know,

you go out, that's better than maybe I'd expect, but in the second half the game did get violent. Now, I said that Ottawa were known for being violent. Funnily enough, Klondike Joe's team were even more violent. According to Michael McKinley, Norman Watt of Dawson, Dawson being Klondike Joe's team, the Dawson City Nuggets or Wanderers or Klondikers, tripped over Ottawa's Art Moore,

who retaliated with a stick to the mouth of what? What promptly knocked more out? hitting him on the head with his stick. Apparently a lot of doors. And it's a violent game. I don't know if you've seen any of it. Very violent. I've watched off campus, so yeah.

Yes. I get it. Well, let me tell you, this was a real heated rivalry between these two. And, but normally, you know, you can stand and just fist to fist, go for it. You have seen the show.

Fisting is not only allowed, it's encouraged. But even for the standards of the sport, Dawson City were seen as too violent and multiple players were rejected from the game. Yeah, we're okay with knocking people out, but what the fuck are you doing? They ended with a lot of their stars on the bench and losing 9-2 overall.

But the game left apparently a poor taste in the mouth of the Eukoners. Yeah, blood. Awful taste. And they complain, they're like, the refs were, uh, that was rigged. A lot of those goals were offside, uh, which I guess means something in this game. After the game, what one of the, uh, Klondikas, uh, or the Nuggets was pretty lippy saying that Ottawa star, Frank McGee, there's another ice hockey player that we can

now list. Uh, he said he doesn't look, look like too much. He was basically like, I heard this guy was good, Frank McGee. He was nothing. He only scored one. goal. Big deal. So apparently McGee took that to heart and in the follow-up

game he scored 14 goals. Leading his team to a 23-2 flogging. Absolutely embarrassing the nuggets. Oh, I heard this guy was good. He only scored 14 goals. Apparently 14 goals remains a record for scoring in a single game in

pro hockey. Eight of them he scored in a nine minute period. Wow. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. Was anyone else on the ice? The funny thing is that you go, well, I'm guessing the Klondiker's goal. He sucked, but apparently not.

According to the newspapers at the time, he had a really fine game, and without him, the score might have been doubled. Jesus. So the game's over, and I guess the Klondikers are like, okay, fair enough. These refs, these fucking reps. Honestly, we will. No, probably hard to argue. do that now.

23 of those were off sword. But yeah, so apparently after that game, no love was lost. And the Ottawa team invited the Klondikas to a banquet, which got loose. They were smashing beers afterwards. And it concluded with the players all, you know, out of their gourds. Out by the redo canel, which is a canal in downtown, downtown Ottawa. Right. And apparently they're...

Beautiful canal. Yep. They were down by the side of the canal. Yep. Do you say, sorry, Jesse, do you say canel or canal? You say canal? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's the other pronunciation? Canal. Canal. Sounds so posh the way he says it. Yeah. Canal. Or by the canal. So they went by the canal.

And apparently that's right. took it in turns trying to drop kick the Stanley Cup over the canal. Was it just landing in the middle of it? It landed in the middle, but it was frozen. So they were able to get it a couple times. But eventually, they couldn't get it, or they were too wasted to know where it was. And it had to be recovered the following day.

That's such a fun. Like, it's one of the most revered trophies in world sport. And they're trying to kick it. Bit of fun. Anyway, he's the king of the Klondike. He's now been a manager of a Stanley Cup, you know, finalist team, sort of. You probably, he maybe hasn't earned that title, but you could technically give it to him. He's also a power plant owner, a boxing manager, freighting businessman, as we all know what that means, and a Stanley Cup competing team manager.

So what's next? Well, can I quickly ask any ideas what might have happened around 19,000? Fourteen. Circus, yeah, that was my thinking. Yeah, I tell you what, a big circus on the world stage. So try that again. I mean, I understood you just, but we are in a different hemisphere. I'm like, so I'll say.

Tell you what, everything's up and over. No, down under, up. Up over? Yeah. Hey, you do things upside down up here, eh? I will get afterwards if some of you could help coach me a little on that

this is the first show so I'll fix it I'll fix it for the you know the more important cities um okay Kyle still listening if I can be honest

Canada is like a go-to place of visit for Australians I don't know if you've noticed that. But everyone's told me the two favorite spots are Vancouver and Montreal, and I know you'll probably like one of those more than the other. But apparently Toronto is a bit of a shithole. Well, I'm still looking forward to going there. A lot of good bands from there.

It's Toronto terrible. Catchy. And Vancouver Incredible. All this will be edited out. before it has released worldwide. Worldwide. Yeah, now you hear it, right? Yeah, I'm so sorry.

What about when we were at the sports bar the other night and you were talking about the nearby stadium and you said, yeah, because Akadaka played there and I just watched her eyes glaze over. And we had to lean across and be like, he's talking about ACDC. Aka DECA. I'm Akkadaka played there.

Fucking hell. I don't think, I think Akadaka is a, well-known term? No. Nope. I really... Yeah. I'm sorry.

I assume that was... No. Anyway, so these two... Or Dave, you know. What happened? World War. Oh, Akadaka. World War I.

World War I broke out, which we did a... Basically a three-episode arc about arc. A three episode Arque Duke Ferdinand Nearly landed it Stick to the script I reckon yeah Anyway so yeah World War I broke out

And on the 4th of August 1914 Great Britain declared War oh no On Germany I've got a stand-up show to do after this But the good thing is For all the people who have never heard the show before I think we've definitely earned ourselves

Some new listeners The biggest laugh we got was when somebody turned the lights off. Carl, that was really good timing. That was Ryan. I won't make a lot of sense on the audio feed, but... Yeah. It was fun in the room. It was funny.

It was funny in the room. It was funny as. Is that an Australian term? Yes. I'll translate, don't worry. So World War I. World War I. Great Britain declares war on Germany after they invited Belgium.

And of course, when Great Britain goes to war back then, the whole empire is in the war as well. Australia, Canada, etc. And the rest. And the rest. So the 49-year-old Klondike Joe, he was all of a sudden standing in a line wanting to enlist for the Canadian Army. But he was 49 and was told he was too old. He was so keen to enlist. Unfortunately, they said, no can dozo, baby doll. Instead, Rodney writes, he volunteered to recruit and finance a 50-man machine gun company recruited from his Yukon gold mining acquaintances. And so he paid for all the gear, the man, etc.

And this was his contribution, which would lead to him being awarded the honorary rank of lieutenant colonel by the Minister of Militia and Defence Samuel Hughes. The war was not good for his business and he had to travel to. England in 1916 to meet with his English shareholders. While there, he was made an officer of the Royal Engineers and accepted a mission to Russia to sort out issues in Russia and they were having with their railroads and supply lines. He had a history in freighting. I'll sort this out. Rodney writes, Boyle reached Russia in July of 1917 and despite grudging support from the British foreign war officers and difficulties caused by the Bolshevik revolutionaries, the uprising and

Russia made things a little trickier. He was instrumental in rationalizing rail traffic within the military zone extending from Petrograd, modern-day St. Petersburg to Odessa, modern-day Ukraine. Gates writes, in the process, he led a successful effort to save a Russian army from being overrun by advancing enemy forces. The Russians then asked him to sort out the supply problems on the Romanian front. Were you expecting this to go there? It's just like every moment of reading about this guy was like, what? So all of a sudden he's in Romania and they go, please, mister, can you help us? And he did and ensured the food and other suppliers could reach troops there by fixing up

there. There were all these sort of like blocks. There was something called like the Moscow knot or something. And he freed that up. He saw, he just sorted everything out on their train system there. Unfortunately, like I said, around this time, the Russian Revolution took. place, the Tsar was overthrown. And he was more with the Tsar and that, you know, I mean, there's a classic Canadian going for the ruling class over the people, didn't like the Bolsheviks

too much. And there was a lot of destabilization for Romania off the back of this. Yeah, basically Romania and Russia were kind of tight during the war, but this revolution made things a little more sketchy, especially because the Russian Tsar, Nicholas II, was the cousin of Queen Marie of Romania. Oh, they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we love Rose, right? Yeah, yeah. So, unfortunately, Romania had given Russia

a lot of their important things, like their currency and stuff, for safekeeping during the war but now the Bolsheviks are in there and they're more like, hey, we're probably going to keep this rather than giving it back to your royal family. So the Romanian royals,

of course, enlisted Klondike Joe to go and get it back. Which is the hectic. This Canadian guy's like, oh yeah, I could do that, hey. Just what? So he goes in now kind of behind enemy. lines. He's actually, I'll talk about it more in a second, but he won a Russian war medal for his

work with the Russians, but there's been regime change there. Now he's going into Russia kind of almost like behind enemy lines because of the Bolsheviks. And yeah, he goes in there. Some stories tell it like he was going in to take, to get back the crown jewels of Romania, but apparently that's a little bit of mayo being added. I don't know what the Canadian version, a bit of Putin being added to a bit of a, uh, a bit of, uh, chrowns of, uh, a bit of, uh, cheese curd being added to the story, if you will. Apparently, it was more likely, and Rodney is a real wet blanket in terms of the sensationalising of his story.

Rodney normally comes in. People say it was the Grand Jules. It wasn't. It was just Romanian archives and paper currency. Still very important, but not quite as sexy as the jewels. Gates writes, after a harrowing train ride through Russia, he arrived in Rome. obviously he's trying to get back. Oh, by the way, he refuses to wear anything but his Canadian army uniform. This whole time. This whole time. Apparently from when he gets it and it's sort of like

an honorary position because he put all this cash into that, that, um, the machine gun force. They go, he's an honorary title on a uniform and he like wears it till he dies. It's not getting like an honorary doctorate and just wearing the gown forever. Where's set the scope? And he's doing things that are met, You're meant to be sort of blending in. He's like, fuck that. Yeah, behind enemy lines. He's growing the wrong military uniform. So he gets back, Gates writes, through Russia on the train,

arrives in a Romania on Christmas state or a hero's welcome with his valuable cargo. And within months, he also saved lives of a group of up to 70 Romanian officials who were being held hostage amid the turmoil in Odessa, brought them back from Romania. So the Bolsheviks were holding all these Romania. nobles basically or and officials high ups. He went in and saved them all brought them back. And I'm skipping over stuff because we don't have a lot of time,

but he successfully negotiated an international peace treaty between Russia and Romania while at the same time operating a large spy network, which he was doing working closely with the British Secret Service against German and Bolsheviks forces. All in the Canadian uniform. So apparently through all this Yeah, we kept wearing the uniform You're meant to be clandestine

I don't know how he I don't know how that worked It seems like I reckon if Rodney was here He'd go well actually He wore a little coat over the top Or he'd be like well he did remove it to bathe I'm like yes shut up Rodney The other thing he's sort of well known for

Is he started working very closely With the Queen of Romania Queen Marie. And according to some accounts, a romantic relationship may have blossomed. The CBC, which I believe is like your version of the ABC, they write, in 1918, Boyle met Marie, queen of Romania, and became smitten.

The royal and the rogue, as they call him, quickly formed a bond. But it's not clear whether there was any romance. But this guy that I love, he's like the anti-Rodney. This guy called Max Fraser. who's a white horse-based filmmaker history buff, and let's call it what it is, a Klondike Joe super fan.

He says, they hit it off in a big way and the historical records are little vague on exactly the true nature of their relationship, but it's a lot of fun to talk about and to speculate. I bet it is for you, Max. He's run fan fiction. I thought about this, oh.

And then Klondock Joe smooched her. She's like, I love a man in uniform. He's got little dolls at home and I mean this. If you are in tonight, Max, I mean that with love. Rodney, the Buzzkill, though, says, he was rumoured to be Queen Marie's lover, but there is no incontrovertible evidence to substantiate this crime. Oh, sorry, oh, fuck, right, right, right, right.

Fuck off, Rodney. Rodney's such a, that's the right name for him. Rodney, no friends in full. No, good on him. Rodney, if you're in, I meant that. with love. But anyway, whether or not he bone the queen, he was beloved by Romania.

According to Rodney, all his exploits made boil a national hero of Romania and a powerful influence within its royal court. Rodney also spells Romania with a U, which I guess is probably more accurate or something, but just makes him seem pretentious. No, but again, Rodney, I... Just joking.

He was so trusted by the queen that apparently he was present at the 1919 Paris Peace Conference at the Palace of Versailles that ended World War I. What? There on the Queen's behalf. And there he also helped obtain $25 million, which back then was even more than that sounds, in credit for Romania from the Canadian government. And then after the war, Gates writes that King Ferdinand of Romania granted Boyle the title

of Duke of Jassy, along with a sizable estate in Bessar Arabia, or something like that. So if he was boinking the queen, there were no hard feelings from the king. Yeah, wow. Isn't that crazy? Like, apparently he was born, he was boning the wife. Uh-huh. And the king's like, honestly, man, all that good you did, I don't give a shit. I'll cuck for you, bro.

His work during the war, I'm almost finished here, by the way, in case anyone's hanging for a piss, which I assume is also local lingo. His work. His work during the war led him to receiving military honours from Great Britain, France, Romania and Russia. He won eight wartime medals. Interestingly, not from Canada, because he would never sort of officially fought for them.

He just went off on a business trip. The war the uniform. He went off on a business trip and he won medals from five other countries during the Great War. Hictic. Remember when he jumped into the war with the war? knife in his mouth? That feels like 400 years ago.

Do you remember when he just punt at the Stanley Cup? This guy's wild. Sadly, of course, all good things must come to an end. And on the 14th of April 1923, Joseph Boyle, the King of the Klondike died at the age of just 55. Oh, wow. 55. He did all that 55 years.

I have to get going. Oh, my God. The amount of time I spend just, on my couch. Oh, 55 and he did all that. I've never fought a shark. And I know you think all Australians do that. We don't.

I've never seen a snake. It is wild because, yeah, and the Rodney is going, you don't need to make up stuff with this guy. He's like the shark stuff. It's fun, but his real story that we can absolutely verify is wild enough. But anyway, he died when he died. He was in London. He was buried at St. James.

But in 1983, his remains were returned to his hometown of Woodstock, Ontario, or Ontario. Is that where we are now? No. Are we in BC? Yeah. I tell you what, it feels way more futuristic than that. But so, but he, you didn't have. Okay, they liked that.

Thank you. Anyway, so he's brought to Ontario. where his remains were laid to rest by his parents, by his parents' side, I should say. His parents were dead. They were 200. And he had a full military funeral. A year later, the historic sites and monuments board of Canada

commemorated him as a person of national significance with a plaque on Bonanza Creek listing his accomplishments. And then, of course, to finish, let's talk from his number one fan, Max Fraser, He said, it's hard to fathom that there could be a character out of history that accomplished this many things. He was born just a few months after Confederation, making him one of the first Canadian-born Canadians.

Fraser thinks, yeah, I don't worry about the problematicness of that. Fraser thinks that the fact he is not a household name in Canada is a real shame, saying he was a man of incredible accomplishments on a number of fronts. and I'm quite passionate about trying to champion his legacy. And he's so passionate about it. He organized a celebration for his 150th birthday in 2017. Celebration was a free event. Did anyone go?

I heard one. It was a free event. Open to everyone. Well, you're going to kick yourselves when you hear this. It was open to everyone and had cake dancing and a life-sized cardboard figure of boil so people could take pictures with the legend. Oh, and finally, just like, this is interesting, it's obviously probably not true, or maybe it is,

but there is a story that on the anniversary of his death, each year, every year, on his death anniversary, a woman dressed in all black would appear at his grave and leave flowers. It was said that this was witnessed every year from his death up until 1938, the same year the queen of Romania died. And then Rodney's like But we actually have tracked the locations of the queen And she was never in the... Shut up, Rodney

So that is my report on Klondike Joe And a shout out to Matt For suggesting the topic of the time. He's Matt Peter! Great suggestion. Wow. Well, I mean, we haven't seen your money yet But is that man on your money?

He should be. Genuinely by a round of cheers or whatever Have you heard of that guy? And if you, yes, Matt, we know you have. By cheers, who's not heard of him before? Incredible. Yeah. Yeah, what a life.

He'd be a God if he was Australian. Yeah, if you do more than one thing in Australia, we're like, holy shit. And they're like, let's knock this guy down a peg. Getting too big. And he's like the equivalent of having a dad who's Bart Cummings, which doesn't mean anything to them. Champion racehorse guy. Yeah. No, I got it.

It's just completely irrelevant here. It's barely relevant at home. Do you remember Roddy Pringle? Wow. Well, that does bring us to the end of the show. Can you believe it? Thank you so much for coming out to our first ever North American show. This is awesome.

So cool. And we're back in the room. Whoa. Which I mean we're back in a dining room in California. A couple of days after the live show. It's Dave here with Jess, and we're sitting at a table with Alistair Trombly Bertrell. Hello, everybody. I was backstage.

Yeah, that's right, Jess. He heard you laugh at one point. It was really nice. It was like a comforting, warm hug. It is nice to get one laugh in a 60-minute show. Yeah, we needed that laugh. Al, thank you for that. Well, actually, the biggest laugh we got was when Ryan, who was on lights, did a little visual gag and turn the lights off on it.

That was the biggest laugh of the show. And I'm glad we got it. Yeah. But it does hurt that it wasn't from us. Yes, but Ryan was well on it. Oh, that was incredible timing. That was after Matt criticized Vancouver. Was that right?

Yeah, I think he said, yeah, yeah. He said something negative about or saying maybe Toronto was better or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And lights went out. Oh, no, yes, he said I'm looking forward to a real show or something like that. Yeah. Yes.

And it was very funny from Ryan. Yeah. And thank you to everyone who came out. It was so nice to meet people after the show as well. and just the love and enthusiasm, the energy we felt in the room in Vancouver. And the fact that so many people had traveled, more than half the crowd were from out of town. Yeah. Out of country, dare I see.

Very cool. Really, like, very surreal. I had a moment standing on stage when we first walked out and I was just like, we're really here and they're really here. Like, people came and it was a cool venue. Yeah, so cool at the Rio. We were treated very well, Ryan and Kyle and all the front of house off the security guys, angels. Yes. So, so nice.

And then afterwards, Matt Allen and I went to a nearby smaller comedy club to do some stand-up. It was my first stand-up. Yeah. Kikin about a year. Chill X studio. And the venue was great. Kravard lovely. And, uh, thank you so much.

We're having a really good time in Canada. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Yeah. Having a real Canadian time because this is how people live all the time. What? Yeah, everybody's always just doing big shows and experiencing a ton of life. Oh my God. Yeah.

And everyone's very nice. It's so, so nice. Everybody's been very nice. Even like at customs. It was like one of the loveliest customs exchanges we've ever had. Like normally, one time, the first time we went to the UK, we were temporarily detained because they were very confused by us coming into the country to do shows. So Dave had a binder of paperwork ready to go to be like, we are allowed to be here.

No, we don't need specific visas. You know, here's where we're playing. He had everything ready. And the guy was just like, oh, cool, doing some shows. Great. Well, good luck. Have a good tour. And then we just walked through and I was like, what?

about my binder. Yeah, Dave's like, but I'm so prepared to argue. Yes, please. So, yeah, that was so so nice. And it's just been nice ever since. Yeah. I imagine we'll do a full tour debrief on our Patreon. We do a, we love that.

We got a series that Matt started called Matt Remembers. Yeah. We came back from holiday and told us about everything you could remember. Now we're going to do, I guess, do go on to remember. Yeah. Maybe on our Patreon to go into a bit more. But yeah, it was so nice to finally meet some people. A lot of people said, I've been listening to this show for 10 years.

crazy. So, so nice. So awesome. And we're here for another week in Canada. We thought we'd brush this one out to sort of let everyone in on the fun of the Canadian tour if you can't make it. And also remind everyone that, yeah, we've got some shows coming up. We're in Calgary tonight at the time of recording. Yes.

You've missed that one. You've missed that one. But we are in Montreal on Friday night for some stand-up, me matter now. Saturday afternoon for a live do-go-on podcast. And then Sunday afternoon, we're in Toronto for two shows back-to-back. Yeah. And they're completely different shows. Some people have been asking this.

Different reports. The second one is a Christmas special. Yeah. Which I know is early. But by the time we get home, we're deep in block. Yeah, that's right. And yeah. Yeah, exactly.

We've got to plan ahead. And then that night, Matt L and I are also going to be doing some stand-up there in Toronto. That's right. Yeah. That's a big day. Two pods and a stand-up. I think you and Matt in particular are going to be delirious. Yes.

Which will make for some really fun stand-up. Yeah. And I think there's only going to be. There's only already like seven tickets left. Okay. So get on that. So all the details that do go on pod.com. If you want to be part of the Canadian fun,

and we should say, if you're wondering where Matt is, he's fine. He's fine. Yeah, in brackets, jet lag. He's just asleep.

And we had to get these files to AJ so he can actually edit them in time for you to hear it. So, yeah, thanks again. But we have told him we're recording it and if he wants to come down on any stage. I've set up a fourth mic as well. Exactly.

If he wakes up and feels ready. But it felt rude to be knocking on the door, be like, hey, get out of bed. Exactly right. Get out. Get out. Get out of bed. Switch it.

Switch on immediately. Yeah. It would be crazy to walk out of bed and on to a podcast. Get your Patreon face on. Yeah. It's a different face. So yes, this is the section of the show where we thank you people who support the show at patreon.com slash do go on. We met a bunch of North American Patreon supporters, which is so nice in Vancouver.

And basically, yeah, these people keep the lights on. We can't be doing these tours. we can't be doing anything week-to-week shows without these people. We'd be in the dark. We'd be in the dark. No lights on. Absolutely. Yeah.

And if you want to get involved, you go to Patreon.com forward slash dogo on pod. And we usually start with the fact quote or question section, which I believe is a jingle like this. And, uh, Al, if you could do a little ding sound when Jess finishes singing. That would be fantastic. You didn't say it quite right. It's, yeah, I believe it goes a little something. I do.

And I believe it goes a little something like this. Fact quote or question. Oh, that's nice. She always remembers the same. and when prompted, he always remembers the ding. That was good. I didn't give that singing as much as I usually do, and that is because someone is asleep upstairs.

And that's Matt, we should say. Well, well, you don't know who I brought home. That's true. We were out last night. I'm in Canada, baby. Snuck someone in. Do you think, you know, like I did joke on stage at this very show that I'm not married in Canada,

but I am married in the US. Like, that's where my marriage license and my certificate is from. True. So, but, but, you know, but we reside in a, So where am I married? That's the question. Maybe I'll be in the U.S. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. So everywhere else, I think you're still on the market. Yeah. Have a crack, everyone. If you afford the U.S., you're single. You're in the U.S.? I'm so sorry. And you're visiting the U.S. after this, single.

You feel, you feel single. You're going to be a single gal in New York City. But you're actually the most married. Oh, yeah, I'll be married. That you are internationally. Yeah, I'll be quite married there. Yeah. Quite married.

So don't have a crack there. Yeah, don't know. Have you seen me in New York City? Now, people on the... I'm giving away your assassination coordinates. Assessination. Coordinates as well. Very good.

So people who support the show on the Sydney-Shineberg Deluxe Memorial Packaged, Rest and Peace level or above, get to be part of the fact quota question section, but there's a whole bunch of tiers all the way from $2 a month where you get to vote on topics all the way up to this higher tier, and there's four bonus episodes that we put out every month.

We put out live shows in the... advance. Yep, early access to tickets, discounts on tickets. Video shows. Yep. Full videos of episodes. Also, you get the ad free feed these days. So lots and lots of stuff to be part of the Facebook group, which is a lovely,

lovely section. There's all these chats going on at the moment as well for all the Vancouver shows. People are meeting up and stuff, which is really nice. That's really cool. I've got the fact quota questions open. Would you like me to read them day? Oh, yes, please. Okay.

Our first fact, quote or question comes from Aaron Holbeach. And you get to give yourself a title. Aaron has given themselves the title executive officer of imposter syndrome. Oh, yeah. Okay. And Aaron has given us a question. Okay. Get your answering lips ready, everybody.

I'm ready to answer. I've just upgraded to Scheinberg level and this is my first fact quota question. Nervracking. My question is, my question, is there a physical place that brings you joy? And Aaron has, even though this is their first time, they have answered their own. own question, which is what we always ask people to do. So you can have a think, physical place it brings you joy. My husband and I have 25 acres in the Perth hills and we love spending time up there. The bush is green and lush in winter and the different types of birds are heard all year round.

We often see kangaroos before our Aussie shepherd aria chases them off. Occasionally we see echidnaz and once a peacock briefly visited. Oh, that's nice. It is from the peacock. When I go through the gate to our property, I get such a blissful sense of peace and joy. Thank you the pod, you three are the best. That's very nice. Oh, and please welcome to the podcast. A very special, special guest. It's Matt James. Stewart. Beautiful padding there. Thank you so much. You're pulling up, putting on that mic. Thank you. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are at the moment, Matthew. I'm right here. I'm right here. That's good to be here. I don't even think I got the Patreon ready

for this. So this is good news. You did. Yeah. This is really good news. In your sleep? Yeah, I must have. God, you're good. He's that efficient. The question from Erin, just to fill you in Matt, is, is their physical place that brings you joy? Do Al or Dave, do you have a place that brings you joy? I've got a little, I've got an answer. I've got some great memories.

Got married at my wife's parents' beach house. Yeah. And when I go back then, it was already a lovely spot. Yeah. Because then it was your fiancé. Is she your fiancé all the way up? Until I do. Yeah, I think so, but only my fiancé technically, I think for a few, we got, we got, we were like, we're doing this.

Because of COVID stuff, it was like a narrow window. We felt like, hey, they're opening up again. So I think we're only technically engaged for about three months. Oh. But right up until I do, fiance at that point. And then the rest of that weekend. Yeah. We were married.

My wife. Yeah. So I love going back there. And I got COVID around the time you said I do. I think. Yeah. It's true. I was a lovely gift.

Yeah. I do. Was it your wedding? Or Ben's first? Ben's first. I think I got it maybe. Yeah, so you got, Ben Russell got married the day before.

And I got it. We got married to Maggie and then you flew down. I assume I got it from Ben. Yeah. Because I misunderstood when they said, kiss the bride. I don't know why. I got flustered.

Just Ben. Kissed? Okay. That's a tough one. Yeah, it is a tough one. Any thoughts, Al. Yeah. I mean, my parents, you know, when they live in Australia, which is most of the time, they live in Tathra in New South Wales.

And that place is a beach town. And it is always nice. It is always very nice. And it's underpopulated, you know, like most of the time outside of the tourist season, it's like two and a half thousand people live there. It's so you can go to like secluded beaches. There's very nice bushland. There's, you know, and you can sort of almost be alone if you want. Yeah.

I love to be alone. Everything. It's got everything. Beach, be alone. Wait, can you get a coffee there? They actually do pretty good coffees in a bunch of the beach close cafes. It has everything. But during that moment, you won't be aligned because there will be a barista there.

That's okay. Momentarily. I always feel alone when I'm with a barista. Yeah. They're busy. I don't actually consider them people. I think of them as objects. That's a coffee machine.

You both said beach places. Yeah. Is that because we're inland right now? Yeah. It could be where we're... the sea. Yeah, we're longing. Yeah, further from the ocean than I've been in a long time right.

And not just, not just like sort of horizontal distance. Also, altitude distance. Yeah, Al says it where the city's at, what, a thousand? A thousand meters. And Al's short for altitude. That's why he knows. Yeah. He knows.

That's why he said. Altitude trumbly bird show. That's what I'm always talking about. Altitude TB. I was also going to say a beach place. Do you think it's just like, it's just. It's sounding like it's just places where we have nice memories and we also feel like comfortable and familiar.

And maybe like a lot of these places associate with summer, like especially when you're growing up or like you've got a bit of time off. You're not working. So if it's summer and beach and my childhood, would you have a guess of where it would be? I would say Apollo back. Yeah. Which I haven't been back to for years and years because the beach house that my grandparents had got sold during COVID time.

So I haven't been back for ages. But I really want to go back because, yeah, we spent so many school holidays there. and long weekends there and took like family friends down or as I got older I was allowed to like bring friends on the family trips and stuff and that was really fun so going back feels a little bit like going home nerve-wracking for you I hope my friend likes it yeah sorry my dad's a bit weird dad said something a bit off sorry about that yeah you're remembering all the things your family does that to you as normal yeah oh yeah sorry sorry yeah we do pray before dinner yeah Whatever.

Yeah. Sorry, Dad kind of threw you under the bus and said, do you want to say grace? But he was just setting up for a joke because then he just goes, Grice! Sorry about that. And you, I know you did the whole our father very honestly. It was beautiful. It was lovely.

And really, Dad thought it had hot in a joke, but everyone else felt awful. Actually, your religion is a big joke to us. The whole belief system. Okay, Matt. ATB, I think Polo Bay has got Apollo the Bay. This guy just woke up, how good is this? It's incredible. Altitude the Bay is what they call me.

How does he fucking do it? I think I didn't have a place in there and I think, yeah, I think you're right. And my family holiday spot was bright. Cousins up there and we spent all the summers up there. Because Dad knew an old guy from our neighborhood who owned a place up there. and he rented it for three weeks a year for a couple hundred bucks. Oh, so good. I guess the guy just didn't know or he was really nice.

Yeah, just happy someone's using it, you know. Yeah. Yeah, like a, yeah, like a weird, like the two bedrooms, so it wasn't huge. Yeah. But the second bedroom had two bunks. So all four kids could share that bedroom. That's fun. And mom and dad got your own bedroom.

Oh, whatever. God. What are they going to? What the fuck? Why are they always by themselves, by the way, mum and dad? What are they doing? Why do they get a whole way?

What are they going? I remember because... I know what Jess' mom and dad are doing. Jess's dad saying stuff like, pull my finger. He's doing real funny plastic bits. And Jess's mum's going, okay, John.

Go to sleep. John, this is the last time. Okay, there we go. He's experimenting with new bits, pull my tat. What do you think of that? There was one bidder of the Polybad. house that had two single beds in it.

And so my brother and I would often share that. And I remember the sort of, because he's seven years older than me, I remember the point where he was too old to share with his little sister now and go to his own room. And I was like, why? Come back. Come back. We tell stories.

Where have you gone? And he was in the next room, absolutely ruining the shapes. You can choose with which flow of his own finger. Okay, so that's everyone's answer for Aaron. Thank you. Erin. lovely wholesome questions. Beautiful.

Next. Brides and beach side, but it is river side. So it's still wet. Yes. It's still wet. You still got an opportunity to get wet.

Those bunks are wet. There's definitely opportunity to get wet. And now you'll be pleased to know that it's at a higher altitude. And it's also a higher altitude. Yeah, good, good.

So you'd like it there. Altitude, the beach. Our next question comes from Beth F. Beth F's title is Let's groove tonight. Oh, we are coming out to the 21st night of September.

Oh. And Beth also has a question. Do you guys have embarrassing stories from when you used to date? And then in brackets or other. Is that dead dead? Is that dead each other? From when the three of us used to date? Do you remember? Remember while we courted? And then we went steady. I miss our courtship days sometimes. And now or no. I miss the butterflies. We're in a legally binding thruple. They were. Yeah, the butterflies were great. That's always nice. It was so much easier for the pull my finger game. Um, um, butterflies are

your tummy. Yeah. Gatsy. Gotcha. Beth does answer her own question. I get an ounce there, the butterfly. Altitude, the butterfly. God, you're good.

I'd love to hear Beth's answer, absolutely. Beth says, here's mine of a guy I almost dated. Back in 2021, I was complaining to my friend Drumstick, okay, about being single when he told me about his friend, Boogie Funk. That's his legal government name. Okay. No, it's not. Beth.

Later, Boogie adds me on Snapchat and within an hour, I get sent an unsolicited, full frontal of him wearing nothing but a fuzzy faux fur vest with all of boogie wonderland on display. Politely turned him down, released him back into the wild. Fast forward two years, I'm at a bar. It's late. I'd been drinking pretty heavily. And who do I run into? None other than good old boogie funk.

Remember me? You're just wearing a vest in the bar. I had a rough night and there was a familiarish face plucked from obscurity. Once I got within a few feet of him, though, I learned the only thing funky about him was his smell. Oh. Musty. A man-emned boogie funk smells. I know, you can't do that.

You just don't like, you shouldn't be allowed to. Yeah, everyone's like. This continues. Even after spotting the greasy rat tail, I asked him if you wanted to dance. Thank God for my other friend, Gollard collard greens. Okay, none of these are real names. Who was with me, heard the saxophones getting louder and decided right then and there to walk me home. None of you will understand.

Do you know any of you understand the saxophone's getting louder reference there? It's a TikTok thing. Yeah, I've sort of understand. Okay, great. Yeah, it's like, it's like alarm bells going off. Like red flags are going. God, for me, there's nothing red flag about the saxophone. Yeah, what I just heard it, I'm like, oh, so yeah, they were real, the party was getting stuck.

Yeah, the band is really kicking off. Careless whisper is in full effect. Okay, we're on, you're on Baker's dream, baby. Wow. Okay, but the alarm bells are ringing. Alarm bells are ringing. When boogie funk starts to look like a viable option, girl, we got to go. Fast forward another two years.

Drumstick tells me Boogie had a one-night stand with some poor woman and got her pregnant with twins, no less. Wow. Will you step up and be the father they deserve? Nah. Bougie fertile. Either way, I wish Boogie and his funklets well. Also, feel free to make up your own greasy 70s nicknames. It'll make me feel better.

Much love, B. That's quite a, that's quite a story. That's great story. And he also said, do you guys have embarrassing stories? I don't think there's any, you didn't do anything embarrassing there, Beth. No, that's, you chat to someone briefly on Snapchat. who sent you a full-frontal loom. I think she considered a boogie funk fling.

Yes, and that's embarrassing. We're all considering a boogie funk fling right, man. A boogie fling. I'd be worried straight off if someone's sending a full frontal where they're covering just a small part of their body. I'm like, what's hiding under there? Is there a vest covering the nipples? What's happening with those nipples?

How many have you got? You got a row of peak nipples. Yeah. And that's fine, but just be forthcoming with it. Yeah. If you're going to say full frontal, let's go full. Let's go full frontal. I don't want partial frontal.

Ideally, maybe just a quick message saying, do you want to see a full frontal of me? With or without best, up to you. I reckon in that situation, Beth might have said, no, thank you. Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, don't just send it. Is it okay to send full sidel?

Full sidel's fine. Yeah, that's deeply sexy, yes. I don't really have any embarrassing dating stories, to be honest. One time, this wasn't a full date, but one time when I was living in Canberra, my friend who I lived with had a girlfriend and she had I guess friends and at some point I guess she would like it didn't seem like the kind of girls that I would I would ever get a hook up with but she was like yeah my friend I think I'm going to invite her over see if let's set her up

with you and wouldn't think because you uh which way do you think it's or you just not your not I wouldn't have thought that she would consider me her time yeah yeah she's out of your way yeah Whereas I'm open to absolutely anybody. Okay. I'll take whatever I can get. That couldn't be the other way, could it? Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

And so then, but then I guess I don't know what I'd been doing, but when she arrived, I was on the trampoline. And for some reason, in the backyard, I was a 25-year-old or 23-year-old maybe with trampoline. And I guess I didn't come down fast enough. And at some point, she just left before I... How long were on the trampoline, Alastair? It was at most 10 minutes after she arrived.

Can I ask, were you lying on the trampoline or bouncing? I was bouncing. Was anybody else out there? Are you just bouncing on the trampoline alone? There's something who must have been out there watching me a little bit, maybe. But you're not sure. So she's come over to meet her friend's friend. Yeah.

And her friend's like, I reckon you might, you guys might get along. She gets there. It's called skateboard. I'm in a band called skateboard, which we've had one rehearsal before breaking up. And she gets there and this guy's on the trampoline, probably alone, does not get off the trampoline, is out there for a while. Yeah. Yeah, I'm leaving too.

I didn't get off the trampoline fast enough. Yeah. Now I know what she expects. It's gone beyond whimsy to just weird. I think I would do better next time. Get off the trampoline to meet a new person. Yeah. Do you think you'd be showing her a false version of yourself?

Maybe you save yourself some time. Oh, absolutely. current wife and your forever wife I assume current and forever she probably would have she would have been

understanding that cheering you on slow clapping that's what I think bounce I think she might have come up on the trampoline yeah right yeah yeah

but maybe she didn't you gotta get up to get down exactly that's right and that's what we did yeah and that's why we're still together so that's really nice

you got to find somebody who's willing to take those risks and come up on there because if you're not willing to debase yourself on a trampoline how can I expect

you're going to debase yourself once we once comes down to yeah once life gets real once like yeah I just meant for intercourse like you know

because it would be pretty insulting to have sex with me that's a name of a city around here isn't it or is that in America to have sex with me intercourse oh yeah yeah that's a local

that's an Albertan town really can we go there metaphorically speaking Jess isn't married in Canada yeah we're just like I'm not married in Canada You're not married in a lot of places. That's what we couldn't decide. We think I'm just married in the US because that's where I got married.

Yeah. And that's where the marriage license is from. Yeah. Which is why that's where she can travel alone. Yeah. And we can give away her assassination coordinates. Yeah. Okay.

Final one. Okay. Final fact order of question from, listen to this name. Caroline Nightingale. Oh, that's great. So good. The Caroline's giving herself the title, Lamp with the Lameau. hopefully meaning lamp with a lamp.

Remember when you wrote, instead of Lady with the Lab? You wrote Lamb with the Lab? Yeah, we did Florence Lanegale and the title I published was The Lamp with the Lamp. But then I think either she's done her own funny bit or... Yeah, because that's a typo on a topic. Yeah, that's good stuff.

But people were messaging and being like, lamp with lamp and I was like, yeah, gosh, she carries a lamp. Yeah. After the episode, you'll find out it makes sense. I know a lady with a lamp sounds weird. And I read it about 15 times. There you go. Oh, Caroline's got a gripe.

Oh, very good. Have we had a gripe before? I don't think so. I hope it's not against us, but we'll see. Oh, fantastic. Okay. My only knowledge of Australian culture comes from this podcast. I genuinely don't understand what a laneway is, but I bet it's good.

The way you guys talk about coffee makes it sound amazing. But as someone who lives in Europe, I guess I'll never know. Anyway, here's my gripe. That was just, that was done. The other week, I learned that you all learn how to line dance to nutball. city limits in pro school. Oh yeah. Why haven't you talked about this?

For the international listeners, it's kind of like the Macarena or Saturday Night by Wigfield. I don't even know what that is. Kind of nuts that you all decided to do a folk dance to Tina Turner and not boast about it. Please explain yourselves. Yeah, the nut bush still comes out at weddings. And let me tell you, I'm in every time.

And the nut bush, way longer than you remember it being. It just keeps fucking going. Yeah. It's so long and you're there just doing the same repetitive little steps. and you always have to teach a drunk groomsmen how to do it. They always want to get in there, but they don't know it. And I'm like, I don't know, where are these groomsmen coming from? Obviously, international, you have a few international bows.

I didn't know for a long time that it was Australian thing, because that's a big hit worldwide. Yeah, it's an American city, the Nuffbush. Or Nuttbush. I don't know who made that up for Australia. No idea. But like you learn it like for the grade six formal as well. I don't even know when I learned it. I think we did it for Huff and Puff.

Did you all have Huff and Puff? No, what's Huff and Puff? Oh, damn it. I was having that one have been a national thing. It was a thing we had to do before school to, you know, get the energy going. And I think the Nutbush was one of the things we did all out. Out on the basketball courts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we did do that. Blasted on the PA. Everyone get moving. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we did that. I don't remember calling it Huff and Puff and Puff. Yeah.

sounded bad when I said out loud. But it sounds like that's where JK got it, got the name of her. Yeah. Another thing, she got her ideas. She stole awful person. But that does sound like the exact sort of setting.

Close, Al. It was close. He almost accidentally gave away that you're a horrible. A rowling head. Yeah. Apparently her bio on her social media says, rolling like something.

rolling like knolling no not rowling like growling so people who think she might be right a bit wrong yeah uh like to call her rowling because she like specifically tells people not to pronounce it and i've been doing that anyway so that feels feels good because i'm on the right side of history just want everyone to know that that's a bit unfair because like obviously she respects what people want to be called exactly she must see the irony there That's the thing. No. Right handle on the language.

Yeah. I love that this gripe is just that we haven't talked enough about how we all do a dance to the nutbush. We didn't know it was weird for a long time. We didn't know. We've only found out recently it's not international and come to an Australian wedding and we'll teach you that how to nutbush. I think every few years is like a new world record attempt where they're like, we're trying to get 5,000 people near the nut bush. Yeah. I haven't seen one for a long time.

I feel like it's fading. There's like a... I mean, being present for one or anything. I reckon that maybe that there's some sort of festival in the desert in the Northern Territory somewhere, and I remember seeing news footage of them trying to get everyone at the festival to do the last few years. You don't even see them at, like, weddings-type of events, yeah.

I can't remember the last time. The last wedding I went to that had it was, had a lot of family that had come across from Mexico and the US. Oh, yeah. And so they were... Exactly. We said, well, there was a marriage. archie band earlier in the night.

And we said, thank you so much for sharing that with us. Here's a bit of our culture as well. It was a cultural exchange. Yes. It was beautiful. Why are you playing a song that is way closer to our home? They would have said.

Yeah. And we said, shut up and dance. She's basically Australian. She did a duet with Jimmy Barnes. Okay. Okay. Those were our fact quota questions.

Thank you to Caroline, Beth and Erin. Oh, can I say something that I realize after? Is this the report from Vancouver? Yeah. So, you know, the queen? who he was maybe wasn't boning.

You know who her dad was? Who? King Alfred, who was the first royal to come to Australia. You talked about just a few weeks ago. Wow. Isn't that wild? That's cool. Whoa.

I didn't know that. That's cool. The first English royal to come to Australia just brought chaos. Yeah, it was, we didn't make a great first impression. Everywhere we went. There were riots. There were riots and fires. People died.

Someone tried to kill him. That's cool, though. I mean, it actually makes me proud of Australian. Thank you, yes. But, yeah, a lot of the riots were because they loved him. So they're like, oh, it's the royals here. They're so excited. It was often that they were like, let's put on a free banquet.

And we expect maybe 10,000 people will come. So we'll feed that. And 40,000 people turned up so there was not enough food. Yeah. And so they were riots. Everyone, just a fourth of each Palmer, please. Just one fourth, please. Don't eat a whole pikelet.

What are you going? One bite of bunning sausage each. Pass it down. Everyone please snap those Tim Tams four ways. Please. I know it's harder after the second snap. It's really difficult because they have a prime number of biscuits in the packet. It's already hard to share.

It's weird, isn't it? What is it 11? I think it's a lot. I think it used to be 13 and then it's got to 11. I think it's like nine now. No, what are they doing? You don't have a double coat. There's nine in that.

At least that's not a prime number. But you start with a double coat. you go to double-co, you can't go back to a regular timet. That's absolutely true. You got to assume Johnny Arnett or whoever the guys who made it. It was in a family of 11, right? Yeah. There was some reason.

Like, that doesn't make any sense. It's like, it's a family size. Yeah, it's a family size. Everyone gets what? Okay. What's the next thing we need to do? We've done our fact, quote of questions. We thank a few of our other great supporters.

Jess, you know, and we come up with a game for this. Yeah, I've got this bit ready. Yeah, you do. Yeah, we've got us a shorter section. I cannot believe. Well, yeah, because we've done episodes beyond this. Yes.

Yes, I do remember. And Dave needs to leave in like 20 minutes, so we need to move on. We were going to do this. Yes, I do remember now. We were going to do this in back home, but we ran out of time. So we've got three people that we'd like to shout out to now. Yes, I've come up with a game. So you know how Klondack Joe had like 14 careers?

Yes. I thought we could just come up with. three or four of his careers because there's four of us. So we just all have to say a job he had. Great. Love that. So Althe, he was a gold miner. Al was there.

I was there. Don't worry about it. He laughed once. Al was there and he laughed once. It was something you said and then just turned around and was like, oh, really? Yeah. Oh, you weren't joking.

He was sitting on my side. Okay. I did hear him. What did I say? This is really important. Something really funny. But you might be able to hear it on the recording, maybe. I won't be listening back.

Okay, well, what if I read the names and you guys come up with the jobs? Okay. So each person is going to get three careers. Yeah, you happy with that? Yeah, yeah, I love that. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, like, yeah, because he had multiple, so you're all coming up with one job each.

Yeah, you're not doing early life. I'm doing mid-career and Alice doing like sort of... Alice is doing the funny one. We're doing the rule of three and out as a joke. Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Okay. I like that a lot.

First up, are we ready? Yeah. From Jackson Heights in New York. we have happy knife, happy life. Legal name. Legal name. And of course, he worked in the produce section. Yes.

Chopin up watermelons. Oh, I love that. Then he got a job at one of those deep-sea scuba divers that does sort of, like welding on oil rigs. Yeah, that's sick. Then he went to a zoo and he was the guy who clears the elephant's ass. Clears it. It's like, oh, clear.

Yeah, he uses it to clear, but also sometimes to use the broomstick. Oh, yeah. He signs off on the ass. Yeah, he signs off on the ass. Great job, guys. Yeah. High fives all round.

Don't touch me. Trust me. Next up from address unknown so we can only assume and do within the Fortress of the Moles. Jai Johns. Jai Johns. Forch of the Moles. Yeah, he was, it was an early Doors canary in the mine. When his local area ran out of canaries, they started ascending.

in people with nameside and with Jay. And yeah, so he pulled this short straw and was the first canary in the mine. Okay, send him down every time or just once? Well, every time until there was gas down there. Okay, right. Well, then he got the hell out of there and he started milking donkeys. Oh, okay. Donkey milkman.

They're the two normal ones. Yeah, and then he left there and then he became a dog psychologist. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. His parents were finally pleased. Yeah. Jai, have you got any open to? for new clients. My dog is troubled.

And finally, we have also from Address Unknown, so Fortress of the Moles, Joshua Chapman. Oh, Joshua Chapman. Unfortunate for Joe, Joshua, being a J name in the Fortress of the Moles, he also had to do Canary Judy. That was his first gig. But he added a bit of panache to it. He wore a fun hat. Oh. Yeah. Everyone who comes after and wears that same fun hat. And I thought it was cheeky because it was a canary yellow hat.

Isn't that fun? That's fun. And that's a classic Joshua. Classic, classic. Then he became a daughter-dored denture salesman. Oh. Got two models. Yes.

Interesting. Yeah. His pitch was, got any teeth? Now you do. And then they said, no, I already said yes. He said, I'll go to there. Sorry, I don't usually listen. Do you know anyone around the neighborhood?

It doesn't have teeth, please. And then he started running one of those camps that tries to, you know, change your sexual orientation, but to change your sexual orientation from straight to gay. Oh, gay conversion camp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a little twist. Yeah, love that. It's actually quite a big twist because it's not very often. Actually, sounds like it'd be kind of a fun place.

You got a fun, man, you get to try. I'd love to be gay, you know, just hanging out of the bros, playing video games. And then at night, you get to fuck. Yeah, that's right. That's a Joe Rogan joke. We were watching Joe Rogan last night. Ironically. We were watching a video that really parodied.

That's the laughter I could hear. I had to thought at one point of like, if it's legal in Canada, having a few gummies, and watching giggling at what Jess could only hear as being Joe Rogan, I'm like, I just mustn't think we've lost our minds. I could hear that something was playing and then I could hear laughter. So that I was like, this is nice. No, it is someone taking his, like, weirdest moments cruelly out of context and then silencing the laugh and making him seem like the most awkward stand-up of all time.

Incredible. I bet that they showed about him saying he wish he was gay. They showed that straight after showing someone who'd already basically done that exact same joke. Great. Also quite badly. You don't say, because it's not a good joke. Thank you, too. Joshua, Jai and Happy Knife, Happy Life.

Next thing we need to do is... Can I just say about 50% of our audience from the Rogan sphere. So obviously, if that's you, we're joking. If it's not you, we're not joking. That's right. As simple as that. Can't put it any simpler. Could not make that any clearer.

Yeah. I mean, we were one of you, we were watching Joe Rogan. Yeah. Okay, next thing to do, welcome people into the Trip Ditch Club. Yes, this is people. We've been supporting the show on the shadow level or above for three consecutive years. And now to enthrine them forever, we welcome them into our Hall of Fame, which is a clubhouse theater of the mind style. You imagine yourself in there.

Your name goes up on the wall. You're inside. There's food. There's drink. There's entertainment. You want you and you can never leave. But why would you want to? Is there enough food for everybody?

There's honestly too much food because every week we had a new dish and potentially a new drink, which is just a new drink. Which is just a menu expanse. Okay. So everything previously is still available. Any of the people that you add to the group ever, are they chefs or caterers or something like that? No, they're not here to work. Okay, great, great, great. They're here to relax.

Yeah, great, great good. We take care of the service side of things. Oh, thank you. That's very good. We've actually just got our first chef's hat. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I've got it from an op shop.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little big for my head.

It falls down over your face. Yeah. But it's kind of cute. Yeah. Occasionally when Jess is a way, we do have to say, is there a chef in here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

of course. Yeah. And then occasionally they will have to do a shift or two. Okay. But it's only when I'm away. Yeah. And that's rare. It's rare.

Yeah. I'm a workaholic. I simply refuse to take holidays. So we have a couple of people to welcome into the Tripitch Club. So, yeah, I'm behind the bar. So obviously, like, part of his whole deal was like gold and shit, right? Yeah. Yeah.

That's where I got the name. So I thought I'd take advantage because we have a. stove here that's like way too hot. So I've melted down a heap of gold and so you can just have a cup of melted gold. Oh, awesome. There's a cocktail, I'd add vodka to it or something. Yeah, that's great. But that'd be nice.

A little bit of cold milk to kind of cool it down. No, no, okay. It's like sort of reverse alchemy turning gold in a piss. Oh yeah, yeah. That's really cool. I mean, it probably has to stay liquidy for a fairly long time. Yeah. But I think it can in this Cedar of the Montess scenario.

Would you end up sort of pissing like chunks of gold? Yeah, or shitting. Yeah. Imagine that. Talk about the. The coprolite that we're so excited about in York. In York. The Lloyd Bank coprolite.

Oh, that gigantic one. That would be a welcome stranger. I know. Imagine. Talk about a nugget. The one as big as Dave's thigh, is that what it was? Yeah. Probably bigger than my thigh.

Yeah, right. Wow. Two thighs. I do always say a gentleman never shits, but there's an addendum unless they're shitting gold. Yeah. Of course. The gentleman's shit. That's reasonable.

Dave, you always book a band. I couldn't believe. I had to hold it in before when we were talking about the nut push because Tina Turner's here. Get it. Everyone, I'm afraid, we don't like to tell you what to do in the Tribune Club, but you will have to learn the dance. Yeah, it's okay. We'll do a little tutorial. It's sort of like a hokey-pokey-pokey adjacent.

You're putting your foot in and you put your foot out. And then at the end you go, wak, wang, want, want, start it again. The fun bit is the critical. Cross, cross legs switch direction. Yeah, that's the whack, one. Yeah,

using the technical term there. Yeah. North, southeast, west. Yeah. But probably in a more appropriate order than that. Yeah.

Yes. But we're always, you always start facing north. Do you go north? You go north west? Yeah. You go counterclockwise as an American might say. And of clockwise is a proud.

Yeah, you do. What a right age say about Australian rugby league with what values there? That's right. Good Australian family values. Good. Australian family valued listsers like we do have here. This podcast is eventually just going to be a tribute account to Royne HD. And it'll be funny as. So good. So we have two people to welcome into the Trip Ditch Club this week.

Matt, I'll make my screen big so you can read the names because you read the names. Dave hypes them up. You can read them out this week if you want to No Okay That's because it's my job to hype Oh okay I can harp

No you can't That's the thing You can't When I'm when you're not here And it's just Which is rare Because you're a workaholic I hype

Fine I'll read the names Fine If you're gonna be that difficult I'll do it Oh you could harp too Because he's not gonna hype well So I'll read the names out

I'm gonna lift the velvet rope Dave hypes them up With some fantastic wordplay You guys hype up Dave Okay So bring some energy Okay. Okay.

Um, so first up, welcoming into the Trip Ditch Club from Cramlington in Great Britain. It's Jules are. We suffer no fools. Welcome Jules. Oh, that was really good. Oh, Dave. You're terrific at this. Yeah, that was really, really good.

And I hope that Al did this role when you were away not too long ago. And I'm like, maybe Dave is pretty good at this. I'd never heard it. I'd never heard. I didn't know what I'm first of this. on stage the other night when we're doing stand-up and the three of us were on stage at the same time for some reason humming a trying to do a harmony yeah and we're like Dave's like what should we sing and someone said the fact quote or question jingle oh yeah and I was like I don't know

what that is yeah and I didn't know what it is but I also have been on that part of the show multiple times yeah but I also didn't hear what they said yeah yeah so I was like that but it did yeah give me away a little bit okay can we bring the energy back up I'm sorry Yeah, well, can I just say that was fantastic. Yes, I'm not for. Please welcome, Joel. That's not the one I would have gone for, but I thought it was really good. See, I would never see that.

Okay. And from more in, I assume, Oklahoma, okay in the US, it's Joshua midgely. I feel and poshua. Please welcome Joshua. Oh, Dave. Dave, so appropriate there from Oklahoma because that was okay. Thank you. Lohomber.

It's unfucking believable. Wait, do I have, geez, I lost myself. Oh, Dave. Great compliment of Josh. That sounded really posh. Yeah, that was exactly what Dave said. Thanks for listening. I did say he's feeling poshua.

Oh, I didn't. See, part of hyping up Dave is listening to Dave and validating Dave's distance as a person. Poshua did not come across as posh to me. Poshua. Poshua. I've had enough of you too. Dave. Dave, I thought that was really good.

Now I've, posh red for me. Oh, my goshua. Oh, that is better. That's everything we needed to do. I'm afraid, Dave, that was way better. We got to wrap this up. I've got to go do a Santa checking at the Calgary Comedy Club. Thank you so much, everyone who supports the show.

We absolutely appreciate you so, so much. Remember, patreon.com slash do go on pods for all your supporting needs, Patreon needs. But also, if you are in Canada, we are... I'm supporting once. That's right. We're still here for one more week if you want to see us to stand up or live podcasts in Montreal or Toronto.

Toronto. Toronto, come on down. Yeah, we just crushed in Calgary last night. We're ashamed. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah, we got those stand-up shows. Toronto's almost sold out.

Montreal has a few tickets to live still. So feel free to come down there. And one of those you can blaze up in. Yeah, that's where the Toronto one. Is it like smoking allowed inside? I can't say that for sure. Okay. That would seem.

I would seem... I would hate that. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to assume that smoking isn't allowed in buildings. I'm just why a compression session comedy sounds pretty fast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so do go onopodot.com for all of.

those tickets and also if you want to suggest a topic get in contact with us that's the website. Find us on social media at Do Go On Pod or Do Go On Podcast on TikTok. If you can't be here in Canada, we're pressing a few photos and stuff at the moment, so yeah. Yeah, and it's 420 somewhere. Am I right? Blazer.

What a better way to go out. It's a kissy goodbye from all of us here. All right. Until next time, thanks for listening and goodbye. Later. Later. Wait, what was it? No, I took yours. Good day, mate. It's Matt here in the year 2026, letting you know that block toba is coming and the voting is now open.

You can go to Bitley slash Block 2026. Block is in all caps. Or, you know, you'll find the link on our social media on our link tree, that sort of thing. But voting is now open for Block 2026. You can vote for your 12 favorite topics in a short list of 230-something. Oh my god, I'm excited. Also, my brand new stand-up comedy special bad boy is out now on the humdinger YouTube channel. You can check it out for free and I would love it if you did. A bit of fun, people already saying really nice things. Watch, comment, feed that algorithm.

I would be so appreciative and I love you. Never forget that.