Do Go On - 570 - The 'Pappygate' Bourbon Heist

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

Pappy Van Winkle is some of the most expensive Bourbon in the world, and in 2013 hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of the liquor went missing from the distillery. This week, Deanna Ortiz tells us how some heists aren't elaborately planned, but just get slowly out of hand. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 11:55 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).For all our important links: https://linktr.ee/dogoonpodCheck out more of Deanna's work:https://www.deannaortiz.com/ Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Jess Writes A Rom-Com: https://shows.acast.com/jess-writes-a-rom-comOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, our Canada tour is officially over, but don't worry, there are still plenty of opportunities to see us live. October's going to be huge in the year 26, this year, because we've got a bunch of things happening. I'm in Brisbane at Good Chat Comedy Club on the 1st and a 3rd of October doing a stand-up show with Surin and a Who New It podcast. Also, doing a stand-up show at the Bendigo Comedy Festival on the 14th of October. before we're all reuniting once more in Melbourne town, Dave. What the frick is going on there? It's the best time of you. It's the cheerful, earful podcast festival.

It's taking place again at Humdinger Studios, loads of pods, and we're doing many of them. Yes. This is October 24th. That's the Saturday afternoon and October 25. We're doing do go on and who knew it on the Saturday. Then we're doing do go on and book cheat on the Sunday. And then I believe Matt, also on the Sunday,

you're doing a live primates podcast. There's a bonus primates. Yeah, finally going to finish the April run of shows. Ooh. I was meant to be counting down on the top five topics, and that's gotten away from me. So we're going to finish it in October. Perfect.

And these tickets are available to see us live in person in the studio or streamed anywhere in the world, live or on catch-up. So have you going to be in bed because you live somewhere on the other side of the world? Say Saskatoon, for example. Which I learned recently is the same place as Saskatchewan or vice versa. That's right. You can watch it live or on catch-up. to do-goonpod.com for tickets to all of these shows.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Devo Onanke and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart. Hello Matt. Hey Dave, it is so good to be here. And this week we are joined by a very special guest, dialing in from the Windy City. It is Deanna Ortiz. Hello, hi.

So excited to be here, guys. I'm so excited. So excited to have you, Dea, It was great having you on Who Knew with Matt Stewart the other week. And yeah, it's so good to have you on this show. You're going to have to collect all the dogo on shows now. You're going to have to do a book cheat. Hey, please, come on.

Any, yeah, I was going to ask any classics standing out to you from the top of your head that you want me to cover for you? Classic books? Classic books. Hmm, and I can read. Okay. And I know how to. Well, you're not the intended audience today.

Yeah, sorry. I'll have to get it. Most comedians can't, so well done. And this pop quiz that I have right now, you're asking me to name one book. Yeah, for a dollar, name a book. Okay. I can do that.

I can do it. The Bible. Have you covered that? Oh, that now. Talk about a classic. Exactly. A classic. The good book, as some would say.

Yeah. I think they undersell it. I think it's a great book. But I used to try and do that in stand up and never got a laugh. But anyway, I did this talk. I've got a polite one from our guest today. Thank you. Yeah, and ha-ha, good job.

Hey, look, I never do jokes again after I've taped them. And we've filmed that one. I want to put that out now. Deanna, you're in Matt's new special. Oh, thank God. Yeah, thanks so much for being here today. You are the audience for my new special. Which actually, the last one just got released.

When's this coming out? This is coming out in early September. Oh, great. Last month, Bad Boy came out. It's on the Humdinger Channel. Which is your new stand-up special. Out to rave reviews, probably. At the time of recording, it's out later this week.

But yeah. Awesome. By the way, that's great. Deanna, if you're worried about Jess, she's fine. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about her. She is absolutely fine as far as we know. Fabulous.

Yeah, Matt told me that Jess was going out of town and then I could do an episode and I went, I was really hoping to meet Jess. I was really open. Maybe Jess would be here and like when a you two would be gone. But that's okay. We get it. Matt, you shouldn't have, you shouldn't have said anything. Yeah, well, imagine how disappointed.

But Janet already said yes at that point. Yes. Anyway, by the way, Jess isn't there, the good one. I just, you know, it's good because she's gone. And so now you need somebody else to be like the, um, the bitch. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I say that as as a bitch. Yes.

So you're allowed to say that. I would say that. I would say that. I would never say that about you or Jess. Yeah. Perfect. Good. For fear of our.

Good. Good. Our own demise. Yeah, exactly. But yes, no, yeah, Jess is absolutely fine. She'll be back soon. She's probably on next week's episode. Yeah, she will be back.

And by the time this comes out, I dare say that the three of us and possibly the four of us, Deanna, this is an invite to you, are in Canada right now. Oh, my God. Or heading over very shortly for our first ever live tour there. Yes, what is Chicago, the Windy City, where you're born and bred from, where, what's that closest to in Canada in terms of? Toronto. Toronto.

Awesome. We're going there. We're doing back-to-back shows there, is that right? That's right. I'm so excited. Oh, and didn't you guys just post that you guys are doing some stand-up there as well? Yeah, Matt's doing back-to-back-to-back that day, three in a row. Yes.

You're doing stand-up with that's awesome. Friend of the show, Alastair, Trumbly, Bertchal, and all the same cities that we're visiting. Yeah, that's right. I mean, if you can make it to any of those shows, feel free to come do some stand-up with us. Ooh. No. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a really good offer. to look at, my phone is off because I'm a professional when I'm podcast, but I'm going to look at those dates when I'm done and that'll be a teaser for the listeners. Yeah, for sure. And can I say this, that we probably can't afford to pay your travel or anything. Oh, no, no, no, no, I would never expect that. And would absolutely not be guaranteeing that you could get back into your own country. We've heard from some listeners that they're afraid to come to the Canadian shows from America because they're not confident they'll get back in. Oh, really? I mean, and at the end of the day, the worst, if that does happen, then I'm just stuck in Toronto. Oh, whoa, is me.

Like, oh, that sucks. It'll be fine. I'm not too worried about that. So good. Oh, man, I'm so jealous that you live so close to Gary. You sent me a DM a couple months ago driving through Gary and it just sent a positive chill through my body. A positive chill. Yeah.

Yeah, my GPS took me through Gary to get out of the traffic, and I was shocked at how boring and how plain and how like deserted it looked. And I was like, this is what he's always talking about. And I was like, I got to take a picture of this and send it to Matt Stewart. Oh, you've never been? It's so close to Chicago. Of course I've never. What would I possibly do in Gary? Well, you could visit the Demon House, which is obviously since been.

Is that my wish? Is that where Michael Jackson was born? I know Michael Jackson's, the Jackson house is there still as well. Okay. Demon House part too. Yeah, the second Demon House. You obviously, you've got the rail yard where the rail cats play baseball in their independent league. You've got a library with two security guards that I went to.

I've never been to a public library with armed security before. That was quite a thrill. Oh, yeah. Are they checking your bag on the way out? What are they doing this? No, they were very friendly, but I don't know. I guess maybe there'd been a book heist at some point. True, true.

You can't take any of these books without the card that says that you live in this town. Yeah. That's it. So I had a lovely time there and I think you should get back there. But I certainly hope to get back there someday soon. But yeah, the other thing I was going to say is thank you so much for indirectly suggesting a recent topic. I did a topic about the most expensive gay porno ever made at the time. And without spoilers, in case people haven't listened to it, there's a few twists and turns.

But you did an episode about that on your Crime for Bair podcast. And that's, I was obviously, didn't thank you for it in the episode. I forgot to, but I'm doing it now belatedly. That's where I got the idea from. Hey, I'm happy to help. I really liked how you structured it and took away a lot of the twists until the end because when I did it for crime for bed

I was very much like, here is the crime and here is, but you were like, we're starting with the porn and then let's move on to something else. I thought that was really fun. We'll start with the porn, we'll move on to the crime. Yeah.

And it is just, it is two crazy stories back to back. It is. Like even just the guy like shooting the porn and just they get paid in cash every day and it goes on and on and they're doing so much cocaine And I'm like, what is happening here? And then you hear the reveal and it's like double what is happening here.

Yes, hectic story. And beautiful cinema as well. I don't know if you've seen any of it. But you can see the budget on the screen. Oh, yeah. Hey, if you want it to be good, you've got to spend the money. You do. You get what you pay for.

Exactly. That's right. That's true. That is so true. So yeah, I'm glad I got to finally thank you for that. and sorry that I didn't mention you on the podcast. I wanted all the credit for myself. But I'm an egomaniac.

We know. We know. But Deanna, you've got a story to tell us today. Dave and I have no idea what it is. Dave, do you want to explain how the show works? Yes, what we do. Or actually, Deanna, do you want to explain how the show works? Because you've listened.

I sure do. I love to hear the outside perspective. Okay. So each week, one of you guys finds a topic to talk about, and then you go away and you do extensive research. And it's probably like a seventh, no, like a ninth or tenth grade book report. Love that. And you come back and you shell and you share what you've learned with everybody else.

And no one ever interrupts. And it's, and everyone's very quiet. And no one asks any questions ever. That's, did I get it? That's really good. That's probably the best we've ever had. And we could just maybe use your sound bite. We'll say, we're going to throw to Deanna now to explain this.

Yes. Okay. And then come back to us in the studio. How did you do it? so succinctly. That was amazing. Well, I translated from Australian to America and I talked about what grade. Yeah, that's true. You're all business over in America as well, aren't you? We're meandering. Yeah. Mm-hmm. All straight to business. Tell us the facts. Let's get what we need to know and let's get out. Yeah, we're just too late back. Just, we're just batlers, Matt. You know what we're

like down here. That's right. A couple of Aussie battlers. Now, Dan, it's very exciting for you to have you on the show. We always start with a question to get us on the topic. And do you have a question to get onto your report? I've got no idea what you're going to talk about. I sure do got a question. All righty. Here's my question. What item has been stolen so often that it is now kept under 24-hour surveillance?

24-hour cellars. My first thought is like gold bars. Yes. Item as well. Is this a specific item? Because I was thinking like Mona Lisa. I really hope you're not talking about that because that was episode one. No.

No, no, no. It's a, it's an item. It's not a specific. Oh, okay, yeah. So something like gold bars, gold bullion or, or. Like Crown Jewels-esque. Cigarettes, you know, behind the counter of a, yeah, yeah. Of one of those.

They probably don't have cameras on them. What would, oh, the blade replacements for a, like a Mac 5 shaver. Oh, yeah, for a shick. Oh, okay, like when you go to the pharmacy. Yeah, do they? And they have to unlock the stuff for you. Yeah, they're real tight with those over there too. Oh, incredibly so.

I've noticed this one, only this week, I mean, even yesterday, at the supermarket, they've got things on meat now. Have you seen those? Very grim times we're living in. Yeah, like the nice cut of steak. It has a little thing on it that you have to take up to a person. I guess a lot of people are stealing meat. Very grim, very grim, very grim reality.

Well, this item can also be found in a supermarket. Okay. At least in the States it can. I don't know if you guys have separate stores for these things. Oh, shoot, yes. Semi-automatic weapons. I like the way you're thinking. It's good.

It's good. I like it. Sometimes there's different, in some places there are different stores to sell this thing exactly, or these items, exactly. Oh, bongs? Vap? Kind of. You're on the right route. Okay.

You need to be a certain age to buy this thing. Booze? Yeah. Booze. But what kind of booze? Tequila. Vodka. Champagne.

Absin. No. Bourbon. What's that? Bermin. Bourbon. Bourbon. You nailed it.

And we'll cut the rest and we'll just go straight to that answer. And so after the question, we'll just say. Lock in first and first and final answer. It's always the top of day's mind. Bourbon. Of course. Kentucky bourbon. America's finest.

Yep. This is Pappy Gate and the great bourbon. Heist. Papi Gay. Bourbon. So, Papi Gay, it's revolving around the

story of this Papi Van Winkle Bourbon. I don't know if you guys are familiar with the bourbon. The brand name Pappy Van Winkle. A little bit of back story

about this fancy bourbon. Amongst collectors, it's one of the most sought after bourbons. Bottles start at $1,000. And getting a shot of it

at a bar could run you $100 for a shot of alcohol. I'm realizing in real time why I've never heard of all that. Yeah, I was going to say. I never reached for that shelf. No, no, no, no. Is this like above Jim Beam on the shelf? This is like a couple rungs up, yeah, I would say. Jack Daniels limited edition,

something even higher than Woodstock, even higher than a famous grouse? Oh. Oh, is it? That's some sort of. It's insane. And like the bourbon collectors, I don't know if you guys have like friends that like are super, or maybe you guys are super into drinking whiskey and bourbon. It's crazy.

My friend's husband collects bourbon like this. And it, the, the bottles are basically unopened. Like it's so, it's such for special occasions that I can't even imagine like what, what is a good enough occasion to open the over a thousand dollar bottle of alcohol that you have in your home. Like, it's just. for a lot of people it's just a collector's item in the same way that you collect like you know i don't know Pokemon cards that was a bad thing like in the same way that you collect other stuff to then resell they're just hoarding these bottles of alcohol to then resell um or even just like give to like as like

family heirlooms that sounds so crazy but i do think that's kind of how people think about this stuff i think yeah i i i think it's like uh someone gives you a gift of something like that it would be a burden yeah you know yes bourbon burden Because you'd be like, what I, I just, the pressure, when would you ever think to open it? It's the kind of thing that you, what am I supposed to do with this? Yeah, you've moved six times and every time you're like, oh, okay, you're taking this again. Yeah, I just had no idea what I'd do with it. Right.

But I also can't believe. It's like a fancy bottle of champagne too. Yeah. It's like, fancy alcohol. I'm like, nothing I do is that exciting to open this up. The good thing is, I'm more of a, if I have anything expensive, it'll be beers. And beers are never going to be that expensive. You know, I will, I've spent silly money.

on beer. It's like 20 bucks on a can of beer, which is crazy. But beer doesn't last. You can't pass beer down generations. Like, you have to, like, depending on what kind it is, you're going to have to drink it in the next year, maybe. Yeah. If it's fortified or something, maybe longer, but probably less, you know, in a few months you can have to drink it, which is helpful, I think. Yeah, that's right. You got to time. I'm the kind of guy, I'd be like, there's no occasion that is worthy. No, right? Yeah, exactly.

Can I say what I'm keeping for a special occasion? And that is so cold, which is a big brand of supermarket here, Deanna, had this type of organic baked bean in a can that I loved. And then they stopped making it suddenly. I've got two cans left in my cupboard. They're both six years beyond the expiry, but I'm saving them for a special occasion. I've left it so long. My wife is so annoyed every time she sees it.

She's like, you got to eat these. I throw them out. I'm like, no, no, no, no. I'm waiting for a special occasion. My child's 18th birthday, we're going to crack open a can. Oh, my gosh. So what happens if you open them and they're bad? Because it's 60 years past.

I do think that they're probably okay. But what happens in 20 years? I'll be so sad, but I will be forcing my daughter to eat them. Bean by bean, happy birthday. I've been saving these for you. These have caused me a lot of grief. This really cost me. in my marriage several times.

You do, you hear of that? Tell your mother that you love this. Tell it so delicious. It was really important. I've heard similar stories with people keeping these old bottles of red wine and they'll end up being damaged. Like the corkel have gone in or some. Like years ago it happened.

They just didn't know. And you just don't know it's like it's either going to be, because wine, some wines get better. It's a long be away. So he's just like a gamble. So there's that as well. You're like, it's, uh. It's it. They like the gamble of that wine. I think that's what collectors are like, you never know, because the payoff is so huge.

Yeah. And that's kind of the story behind Pappy Van Winkle. So the owner of this company, him and his family had been distilling, you know, whiskey for generations. And they had this old bourbon just sitting at the bottle of a barrel. And he was just trying to get rid of it because it had been never been touched. So he distilled it and he put a picture of his grandpa on the label. And like you said, like basically this wine hadn't been touched in year. So it was just trying. it's good. This bourbon hadn't been touched in three decades. So it was a really small amount that was left to be sold. And what was left was some of the most delicious whiskey that people have ever had. It's crazy. Anthony Bourdain was quoted saying, if God drank bourbon, this is what he would drink about papy van derrickle. Yeah. I don't know what makes a bourbon good. Yeah. It makes me think that it's so good that it doesn't taste that much like bourbon. You know, people... It better.

It better not taste like alcohol at all. That's what people are like, this is, now this is bourbon that I love. I hate every other kind of bourbon. This is great bourbon. It's like, you know, are you sure you like bourbon? You're not a bourbon fan. No. Right?

And people are like, oh, you can taste the caramel and the sweet. And I'm like, it tastes bad. It just tastes awful. You can tell you, if you really want to taste caramel, I've got an even better thing to drink. Like a caramel milkshake or you can really... If you want to taste caramel. Bourbon's let the go. Yeah.

If you like caramel, yeah, don't drink bourbon. Do this instead. So this old bottom of the barrel bourbon hit the shelves with a $1,000 price tag. And then in 2002, Buffalo Trace Distilling buys the company. So they're still making bourbon, but the big hit was like this old bourbon that was found at the bottom. But they're still making it. It's just not from the same. Like there was only a little bit left.

So Buffalo Trace buys it, which is a distiller in Kentucky. they make a bunch of different bourbons, namely Buffalo Trace. So when they buy the company, this is also when an employee with Buffalo Trace, a man named Toby Kersinger, who had been working there since 1989, first started working with this iconic bourbon. That's your Taylor Swift was born as well. Does that come into this? It is. I think it might. I was going to say, it'd be crazy if it did.

Is she from Kentucky? She's from Pennsylvania. She's in Pennsylvania. of the North. Oh, same country, same country. Same country. I thought she was, Pennsylvania is surprising. She, isn't she?

I thought she started as a country star. Yeah. Don't get me started. Have you guys done an episode on Taylor Swift? No. I don't know much about it. I know that she's born in 1989 though. Yeah.

Born in Pennsylvania and then moved to Nashville for her music career. Right. And that's kind of where people get the southern, you know, thing from. Is Kansas City? Just did the Dolly Parton, right? That's right. Got it. Okay.

Just did Dolly Parton. I did Johnny Cash. They're probably our only two country episodes. Country music, I reckon. Yeah. We've done a few Kentucky things. So far. And we did like the Transy Bookhouse, which I think is in Kentucky.

Love the Transy Book Hise. So that's great. And I know that one, yeah. And we also did, I did one about the Kentucky meat showers where meat just rained down from the sky in Kentucky. Excuse me? Yeah, I can't remember anything else about it. But yeah.

But Kentucky's always on your mind. I know a great podcast you can listen to that'll tell you all about. Kentucky, yeah, I've never been to Kentucky, but it seems like it'd be a fun place. Oh, we did an episode about KFC. That's true. Oh. We're a very Kentucky-based. It's not that good.

It's fine. You know, Kentucky, it's like the beginning of Louisville is fun. That's, you know, that's the capital. Frankfurt is the capital, but Louisville is like the big city that people go to. I just did shows out there, which was good. Yeah, it's like you go through Louisville to get to Tennessee, which where is all the fun, I would say. And like in terms of like south, like southern cities, like Nashville is the big one for sure. Savannah, Georgia, huge.

That like, those are where the fun is. Louisville's fine. Someone in Louisville is going to be listening to this and be like, how could you? But it's fun. I had fun. It's fine. Yeah. I mean, I often go to cities that people say are fine and I love them, you know.

Yeah, that's true. For example, Gary, which no one said was fucking fine. Although I love Louisville. Of the cities I've been to, my favorite city in America, Chicago, the windy city. Are you sucking up in? In my limited experience. No, I've said that on the record. Yeah.

I almost did a whole. topic about Chicago stuff. And then I was like, no, we have to change. So we changed to us and said. Yeah, you was too close to your heart. I know. And it would be maybe a four-hour podcast for me to be like, and the other thing, and the other thing that you guys need to know and the crazy thing about this?

I think that would be. That's really fun. But if we ever do, before we do a Chicago live show, if we ever get led into Trump's America, we'll have to get you to give us a primer episode on the history of Chicago. I would tell you guys, oh yeah, we could, when you guys are ready to come to Chicago, I'll tell you everything you need to know. Awesome. Can I just ask, is Louisville Sluggers something to do with that?

And what does that mean? Louisville Sluggers, they make the baseball bats there. Okay, right. Yeah, there's like a whole tour that you can go on of the factory, which I did go on when I was in Louisville. And it's really interesting. Well, there you go. I'm not a baseball person.

But yeah, it's fun. You know, when you go to Louisville, you go to the Louisville slugger, you get a baseball bat, and then you also go to a distillery. Like I did go to the bullet distillery when I was out there. We get bullet. That's pretty big. It's got like an eye in it where you wouldn't expect it. Is that that one?

It starts with an eye? Yeah, it does. And then, yeah, it's not spelled the way you wanted to be spelled. No. You think it's a top on and that went, ugh. We've already printed the bottles. No, we're being quirky. We're being silly and fun.

This is our bourbon. I learned a lot about how. to make bourbon and then I, we did the tasting and I was like, this sucks. Oh no. It was a whole thing. You're like, they're so proud of it. Yeah. Yes.

And I wanted to like it. But did you think you'd made a mistake and they tasted it and said, no, this is right. Yeah. I was like, oh, mine's gone off. Can you guys switch in? They're like, no, this is, this is good. This is the best we've ever had. This is almost as good as old patties.

Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. So, Papies, they're now in Kentucky, though, in the stories.

Is that what we're up to? Yes, yes. We're in Kentucky. Fan girling about Kentucky. Yeah, sorry. As you mentioned before, Deanna, no one ever interrupts or ask questions. And certainly doesn't hear our words. They vaguely know and go, oh, oh, oh.

Wait, do you know about this? Hey, that's fine. So we were talking about Toby Kersinger, this guy that was working at the distillery once Buffalo Trace got bought by, or Peppy Van Winkle got bought by Buffalo Trace. So Toby lives in Kentucky with his wife and his kids, and he really prided himself on his ability. to be able to provide things for his friends. Whatever somebody needed, Toby could deliver.

He basically thought of himself as like Amazon in real life. He's like, what do you need? A TV? A stereo. You need someone to paint your house. I got it. He knows a guy. He's going to do it.

He's the guy who knows everything. He's like a real life Craig from Craigslist. I don't really know what Craigslist is. But isn't that like a thing where you can ask or anything? Yeah. Craig's List is like, I need to sell this couch. Who wants it? Come over to my house and pick it up.

and then you can also like, you know, find people have sex with. And then you can also like rent an apartment off of Craigslist. That's very efficient. Yeah. You can do it all. Yeah. You can do that in one time. You can do, you can get rid of your bed.

You can bed people and you can use a couch like a bed, I guess. It's all bed related. Wow. It's a shit on a bed's list. You can, uh, I've, I've, I've looked at like puppies for sale listings on Craigslist. You can, uh, it's, it's kind of a beautiful place. Craig's puppies. And kind of sketchy.

Is Craig's, uh, is Craig's, There's also Craig list killer. Oh. I don't know who Craig is. Oh, really? You wouldn't know if he's an actual guy. No, no, no. And I don't think I want to because I've seen some of the seedy stuff his website gets up to.

I don't know if I want to meet that man. Craig's got a weird list. I think Craigslist killer sounds amazing. As a, like that feels like that's a topic we should have covered on here. Oh, yeah. You should. I don't know if there's a lot of meat behind it. I'm actually not sure.

I know the story. I wasn't allowed to do murder for crime for bed, so I didn't touch it. But I think it's just kind of like he would meet people and then et cetera, et cetera, you know. Right. Become the crisis killer. That's like, yeah, you're still in crime for bed mode. You have to et cetera through any mentions about et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You know, we had a funeral.

You fill in the blanks. It's fine. It's fine. So do you guys know the Dukes of Hazards? I know it by like imagery. I think there was like a car that had the old flag on it. Yeah, this is kind of the vibe that Toby is giving of like, you know, the Dukes of Hazards are just like rough and tumble guys and they don't care about the law

and the sheriffs are always out to get them and they're speeding away on their cars and, you know, selling whiskey at the back. Right. And the sheriff's called like Boss Hog or something or something like that. And then, yeah, and maybe there was a remake with Owen Wilson or something. Yes, there was a remake. And maybe Jessica Simpson had a song for it. Yeah, yeah. Yep, definitely.

And it was in that film clip. I reckon everything I know about is from. A three minute film clip from Jessica Simpson's, these boots are made for walking film clip. Perfect. Well, you nailed it. But also, it's like the kind of thing in there is that, like, you help your friends. Friends help your friends. And also, you don't rent anybody out.

You don't ask, you don't tell. That's kind of like the general vibe of what's happening in Kentucky, I think in general, but especially at this time. So Toby starts when he first started working for distillery, he starts in like the late 80s, and he works in the warehouse, and then he moves to shipping, and then he moves up again to processing. So he knows every inch of the distillery. He knows all the ins and outs. He knows how the product gets made, how it gets shipped. He knows all of it. So when he first starts working for Buffalo Trace, he noticed that every once in a while, his coworkers would sneak a bottle of whiskey or

two. Or after work, they'd crack one open and share some whiskey at work. Pretty straightforward, I would say. And eventually he starts doing the same thing, right? Because at first, they opened some whiskey and they're like, hey, do you want some? And he's like, no, I don't really like it. And they're like, no, you should drink some to kind of test him to see if he's, are you going to narc on us for stealing this or not, right? Who hasn't stolen from work every once in a while? Certainly. You work at a distillery? Yeah. Have a sip. Take a taste. A knockoff. A knockoff drink should be. A knockoff bottle. Yeah. Each.

Each. Every day. Each. What's that? It's only five a week. What's that? A crate a year or something? I'm fine.

Like, he starts doing it. And to him, it's okay. He takes a bottle here or there. It's okay because all the other guys were doing it. There was this unspoken code at the distillery that you didn't see anything. You didn't say anything. And sometimes he would sneak a bottle home to drink after a long day. Or sometimes he would take a bottle to his softball games.

Because this is crazy. Toby played in a softball game. softball league with all of his friends almost religiously. He would play every single week. This isn't a professional softball. This is just like casual. The guys are getting together. But him and his friends took this league very seriously. After the games, they would hit the gym and use steroids to make them play better and hit harder. I mean, they call it's called softball. Yeah. For a casual rec league softball, you're juicing up. That's crazy. Insane. They're doing that thing. They're blood's in the fridge. They're swapping their blood over. Wild. I like how far in they go.

Yeah, they were like, we're doing this to impress the other guys. They're like, so I got most of my information from this Netflix documentary that I watched. But basically they said, we're doing this to impress the other guys on the team. They're like, oh yeah, you hit this. I'm hitting this. You can bench that. I can bench that. And then at one point, a guy says, I'm not a gay man or anything. Don't ask so tell. That was what you were saying was all about. Yes, perfect. Yeah. That's hectic.

It's crazy. I can't imagine loving a casual sport with my friends that much. Then I'm like, we need to get drugs involved. We need to get steroids involved. Maybe one training session a week. I like, even that, you're like, it's just a wreck league, guys. Yeah, I mean, it's casual. It's also they're taking it so seriously, obviously, their fitness and trying to get juice,

but also having whiskey every day after work. Yeah, yeah, right. Slightly undermining it. Yeah. It cancels it out, I think. Eventually, he becomes so engulfed in the softball league that his wife has to give him an ultimatum and say, you either choose me and your kids or softball. She has to sit him down.

I can't imagine how much that would have to take over my life before my spouse is like, hey, enough. Enough with the softball. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. So he drops the league. I will say he does the right thing. He's a family man.

He stops doing, he stops the softball. He stops the steroids. He goes with his family. But without softball, Toby's life becomes monotonous, right? He just is doing the same thing every day. He's working, taking care of the kids,

eating, going to sleep, not doing steroids every single day. Right? No steroids. I miss the juice. Not even for fun. Yeah.

Right. So he wasn't the top dog on the softball field. He wasn't the guy benching the most weights at the gym. He was just a normal, boring guy. which sucks to him. And that was until one night in 2011, when a friend comes over to visit and Toby pours him a glass of Pappy Van Winkle that Toby had swiped from work. And the friend was super impressed.

And the friend then starts asking if Toby would sell him some bottles. And at first he says, no, I don't want to get mixed up in that. Here are two bottles. Just take them and go. So he gives them these bottles for free. And the next day, the friend comes back and he hands Toby $20,000 in cash. like thanks for this and that was the same amount of money that he would make in a month at work and that kind of changed everything to him it kind of opened his eyes like whoa wait i can make this

type of money he made 20 grand a month no two oh too yeah oh my this is a lucrative gig yeah no no no i was sorry if i misspoke that's my bad i was like wow this guy i mean stop the softball man i'm moving i'm moving to kentucky no i think it was like two grand per bottle which would be $4,000. All right. So his friend said, hey, here's two grand for a couple of bottles. I mean, that's still a pretty good paying job. Yeah, yeah, two grand.

Yeah, no, that's probably... Yeah, sure. Fine. Yeah, that's suddenly not great, especially when we thought he was making $20,000. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry if I misspoken. We can edit, we can fix that.

No, no. Sorry to bring you guys down. He wasn't making that much money. But because he wasn't making that much money, it enticed him even more to sell those bottles. bottles, right? So Toby drives to work the next day and he just looks at all of the bourbon lined up on the shelf, all of these bottles that he could potentially walk off with and sell for thousands of dollars. It's like, it's like that cartoon is money in your eyes.

That's exactly how to picture. A thousand there, thousand there, thousand there. Every bottle's turning in the dollar sides. Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. Right. You just look at it all differently now, right? So, I mean, we talked a little bit about crime for bed. So when I used to cover crimes on my old show. I would really love like a thoroughly plotted out plan, right? Like when they plan everything, they like case the joint, they break in, they're wearing all black and they like lower themselves down from the ceiling. They unlock the safe. The wires get tripped. It's very exciting. I really love those types of heists. So if you guys are thinking that Toby planned this big elaborate break in, you'd be wrong. That's not what happened because he already

works in the building. It sucks. It's so mundane. He knows the ins and out. He doesn't need to case it. He doesn't need to plan an attack. He doesn't need to wonder what security will be like because he already knows everybody that's working at the security gate. He can just walk out the front door. He spent like two decades in the planning stage without even knowing. Yeah, that's right. I've been working. I've been on recon. Yeah. I've been deep undercover for years. That's a really boring guy who likes softball. Yeah, that's right. He can just walk in, clock in and then have all this merchandise at his fingertips. And so first, Toby talks to one of his co-workers who works at the company, and he mentions that these bottles of Pappy Van Winkle are selling for thousands of dollars.

And then he also mentions that he had a friend who might be interested in buying a bottle off of him. And the coworker turns a blind eye when Toby takes a couple of bottles and slides them into his backpack. And that's how it starts. No getaway car, no nothing, just a couple of bottles in a backpack. Because again, the coworkers, it's just like, we're all, yeah, just take it. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to rat you out because that's not what we do here. So the next time that Toby hits the distillery for more liquor, he grabs a few display bottles that were on the shelf of the gift store, like where the tastings happen.

Because it's kind of the best part. I mean, it's kind of, this part was really ingenious to me because all of these bottles are just on display. You know, there weren't being sold, but there's real alcohol inside of them. And so he just takes them because nobody is doing inventory on those bottles. No one is selling those bottles. They're just to show. And that is smart. Right?

Yeah. That sounds like he's got it. No one does inventory on him. He takes these cases and he pretends that he's moving them for another co-worker. So a lot of the times when he's taking stuff, he's just like, oh, so-and-so asks me to move this over here. And so he's moving them, but in reality he puts them directly in the back of his truck. Nobody questioning. Yeah, I'm just moving this in my backpack and put in my truck and then moving to my house.

And then I'm selling it to a friend. For my coworkers. My boss asked me to do this. My boss said. And nobody thought it was wrong. Yeah, right? My grandpa, Pappy, who owns this bottle? Would not be happy with that.

So nobody questions what he was doing. Or if they thought that something was wrong, they sure as hell weren't going to say anything. So word gets out on the street pretty quickly that Toby has the hookup for Pappy Van Winkle. And suddenly, like, all of the Kentucky elites start contacting him. Businessmen, politicians, doctors, everyone is blowing up Toby's phone trying to get their hands on this bourbon. Because you can't get it. Well, I looked up now how to get a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle, and the only way that they sell it is through a lottery system.

Oh. So they make these, isn't that crazy? Yeah. Also, even if you have shitloads of money, you can't just buy one from the shop. Well, I guess you maybe could if you got a bunch of money, but it might be, like, again, like these like back-end deals. But for like the normal person, right? I think the normal people are like us.

If we wanted to buy a bottle, we'd have to enter the lottery. if like a restaurant or something wanted a bottle, I think they could have other ways to go about it. I'm actually not sure about that, but I did look up that like what they're doing now is... It's so funny. You had to think of a lottery where if you win, you have to pay thousands of dollars.

I'd be like, I don't want to win, please. Please don't pick me. Oh, please, no, no, no. So is this all from that same original pool from the bottom of the barrel or they'd made some more? Yeah, they're making more at this point. Yeah, for sure. So they've had to...

And is it still all third? 30 year old. So they're like, they're just having to make a way ahead of time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Some of them are like, there was like a 20-year reserve that we'll get into a little bit that like

was super rare that people started. So still make it. That's interesting. And I might have missed this. What when, where are we? What time? What?

Yeah. Right now we're in 2011. Okay. So it's relatively recent. So yeah, Jessica Simpson's probably not, not there anymore. When was she big?

Early 2000s. Early 2000s. Yeah, she's not there. Before Deanna's talk. Have you heard of Jessica Simpson? No, I was just born yesterday. I'm just a girl. In 2011, should we set the scene?

What's going on? I'm graduating high school. Cascada is really big. I would say what other music is happening. Stepbrothers just maybe just came out or is like in the big, those types of comedies. What's Cascada? Cascada is like a Swedish band that's like, and every time we touch I get this feeling.

Every time we kiss, I swear I can't. I don't know if that was when it came out, but it definitely was huge for me personally in 2001. Yeah, lots of music with a... Playing kazoo? Yeah, the kazoo was huge, particularly amongst sweet sharks. Yeah. In 2011.

So all of these like super clats like these guys who can't get a bottle on their own are reaching out to this hookup to get alcohol from Toby. So once Toby proves he can deliver the goods, the connections start asking for more. And then they start asking for other types of bourbons that were made at different factories. And Toby happily obliged. He basically he's running his own liquor store out of the backpack out of a backpack in the trunk of his car. It's like a trench coat. But instead of like filled with watches, it's just filled with like different types of. whiskey. So it's not just Pappy Van Winkle that he's selling at this point. He's selling Buffalo

Trace. He's selling wild turkey. And he's not only building his clientele, he's building the people that he's working with as well. So slowly but surely, he starts bringing other co-workers onto his scheme. He starts paying off guards and other employees who promised to keep his crimes a secret. He also starts branching out into other distilleries. You know, like I said before, he knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who can do anything for you. So his overheads started off like at zero but they're going up. All of a sudden he's got a staff. He's got a payroll.

Yeah. And like they're working for different companies. Like one guy works for Wild Turkey and then they have another guy that's driving the trucks for this other company. So they start bringing in bourbon to sell. It's a whole organization, exactly. It's like a crime ring. And his co-workers just show up to his house with cases of whiskey because they know by the next day, Toby will have it sold to one of his connections. he's getting bottles, cases, and even barrels of whiskey brought to his house.

A barrel of whiskey is 53 gallons. Whoa, a barrel of Van Winkle? 200 liters. Some of them were Pappy. A million dollars worth. Yeah. Most of them at that for the barrels was like Buffalo Trace or Wild Turkey. I don't think they had barrels of Pappy Van Winkle.

But that's 200 liters. I translated it for you guys. Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Of alcohol. I can't. And he's selling them for three.

$3,000 a piece. I can't imagine like going to my friend's house and they just have a barrel of whiskey tapped ready to go. That just seems so there's never, there will never be a time where I'll need a barrel of alcohol in my home, right? A big party? Yeah, have a kegner? Yeah.

Have a kegler? A barreler. Oh yeah. Imagine like a keg, whatever, but like a barrel of whiskey for me and my friends, everyone is dying. That night, we all die. You'd need probably a party of like 20,000 people. But Toby is making money.

He's raking it in with all this cash. He uses it to spoil his family. He takes his kids to Disneyland. He buys a new house. And he started up his steroid use once again. The boys are back in town. Yes. I mean, you've got to treat yourself.

Come on. And now his wife's like, look, all right, you've taken their kids to Disneyland. You can have a little juice. Yes. A little juice for yourself. Thank you. Come on. Or so he can retire from his main job.

and then just start playing softball full-time but still have time for the family? Is that sort of the plan? Maybe. Maybe he wants to, yeah, he wants to retire early and then start his career as an amateur softball player. He even then starts selling the steroids to his friends. So he's selling steroids. He's selling bourbon. He has his own little shop going on.

Whenever I hear about these kind of criminals, like, where they're like sort of entrepreneurs and like very good at running businesses, it's just funny that you think that they could put their mind to like a legal business and then that'd be a fantastic business person. Honestly. Yeah, right? No. There's something about the allure. Yeah, that's right. It's more fun and risky. The allure of the crime. And tax. It doesn't have to pay tax this way. That's true. It's like the tax system's confusing. Yeah. I don't want to. Don't make me pay taxes. I just want to do steroids in peace. Come on. But his family actually had no idea that

this is what was happening. They thought the presence, they didn't. They didn't. didn't know that the presents were from stolen money. They were just happy to be living this new life. And they were living large, kind. I mean, honestly, the kids, whatever, but the wife at no point was she just like, hey, remember how you weren't making money? And now suddenly we have a fancy new house. That you bought in cash. Yeah. And you've done the same job. Yeah. Interesting. Is this how much money you've saved from not doing softball? Wow, once you stop doing softball, you've really gotten a lot more financially. responsible. I just put my head down at work and I've got a few promotions and, you know, suddenly I'm

basically, I'm the new pappy. Interesting. So, I mean, they were just, I think, I don't know, maybe she was just like, I'm not going to question it. I'm just happy living this life because they were living large until the distillery did an inventory check. The distillery did a check and they realized that 200 bottles were missing from the factory, 65 cases of 20-year bourbon and nine cases of Winkle family reserve rye were missing, which is about $26,000 worth of bourbon. So when the police, this is the crazy. This part, it just makes me roll my eyes with some stupid stuff like this when it comes to heists.

When the police came to investigate, they found that yes, Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon was kept in a locked cage. But because even though it was kept in a locked cage, the door was faulty and the hinges could easily be removed and put back. What are we doing here, guys? Guys, what is this? the hinges. What is happening?

They could just be like, skit, and then move the door, go inside, and then move it back. It just felt like the, the hugest oversight of oversight. And so,

like, I don't know, how big is this factory? Like, that's a lot of bourbon that's been taken out. It sounds like it would be noticeable. Right?

Well, the thing that they're like, no one's done an inventory in years. Right. So, let's say he's started. What about an eyeball check? You know? There's tumbleweeds blowing through the,

The stole room now. Yeah. Yeah, the gift shop has been run dry, but okay. So when the police start their investigation, this is when Sheriff Pat Melton enters the scene. Pat is a new sheriff, and he puts his whole career on finding the guy who is stolen the whiskey and solving this case. He immediately suspects that it's an inside job because he's like, how else could somebody get in and out without, you know, setting off any alarms? And after that, you know, he says that they hit the ground running. they immediately go and interview over 100 employees at Buffalo Trace.

By sheer luck, Toby was not one of the ones to be chosen to be interviewed. How could he not be? How could they not interview every single employee and have a list of everybody? That just blows my mind. They questioned the employees to see if there was anyone that could have an idea of who would be behind this and nobody said anything. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. I don't respect that coworker relationship, right?

That's awesome. And it was kind of common knowledge amongst the workers that people were stealing bourbon and that Toby was probably behind it, but they didn't say word to the police. Months go by and Sheriff Melton is getting more and more desperate to find who's behind this heist. After two months, the cops post a $10,000 reward for anybody who had information about the culprit. They got a few tips, but still nobody was pointing the finger at Toby. And all the while this is going on, Toby feels unstoppable because also he has these big people in Kentucky on his side. his clientele, these doctors, businessmen, politicians,

all these people who would never turn on their supplier. Oh my God. This is so much like a TV show where the new cop comes in and he slowly realizes there's people inside his organization that are also bent and probably steering him in the wrong direction and whatever. And like they're trying to steer him off the road. Exactly. Just sort of like trying to kill him.

To be like, hey no, you don't, hey, don't look at that. Look at this. Yeah, yeah. So, like, you know, yeah, there's nothing to worry about there. Right. Don't worry about the bourbon. It's fine. It's fine.

After a year and a half after the police started their investigation, they get an anonymous tip with Toby's name. The tip said that he works at Buffalo Trace and that he always has multiple barrels of bourbon on his property. This is the first time the police had even heard of this employee. Toby wasn't even the cop's radar until he gets this tip, which is wild. So immediately the police send officers to Toby's house to investigate. And the second the cops enter his.

his property, they smell bourbon in the air. His entire property reeked of bourbon. It's kind of like when you go on vacation and then you come back to see like what your house smells like to other people and he's like, oh, this is what it was. But like, he had so much bourbon in barrels out of his house that it was in the air that you could just smell like, oh, yeah, this is what it is. His kids are just like having the most insane dreams at night. They're like, yeah.

A contact bourbon high. The cops uncover five barrels of bourbon on his property and they knew that they had their guy. They also discover multiple bottles of Pappy Van Winkle inside of Toby's truck. All of this evidence was enough to search his house and ultimately arrest him. Inside his house, they find more alcohol, they find steroids, and they find a bunch of guns. Which is like for a Kentucky police officer to say, I found a lot of guns. That must be a lot of guns. A crazy amount of guns.

Normally every man, woman and child can have a couple of guns. But this family... This guy had so many guns. I respected him even more. Yeah. They had 10 per head. We're going to let this Patriot off for the warning. You know what?

That's a good guy. That's a good guy. He's got lots of guns. So the police start questioning Toby and try and get him to turn over all the other guys that he was working with. Because they knew he had to help to do this. And he knew that probably the help were other Buffalo trace employees. So Toby keeps quiet. the cops search his cell phone.

They take his cell phone and then they find all of his contacts, his co-conspirators, his co-workers, and all of his clients. They find text messages basically saying, how much do you want? How much money is it going to cost? I'm going to pick this up all about the bourbon that he was selling and the steroids that he was selling. It was all laid out for the police. Not even cryptic.

Brought down by a cell phone. Literally. It's just in his texts. I mean, if Goodfellas has taught me anything, it's never do business on the phone. Like, you just never, never, ever. Good fellas. I'd call them great fellas. Okay, a bit of fun. Just a little bit of fun.

Like from before, remember, we talked about it. Yeah, I don't know if, does American comedy have callbacks? Yes, yes. Okay, because I thought I was going to introduce to something that could really blow the game wide open over there. Oh, wait, no, tell me as if I don't know. I'll pretend. Oh, well, so something that's mentioned earlier, you bring it back in maybe a slightly different context and you'll just. Why, we've already talked about it. I don't need to bring it.

I've already established. Well, yeah. I mean, like, that's what we think, but the audiences fricking love it. Oh my God. He said a thing I heard already. He mentioned the thing from before. Oh, my God. And if you can tie that into a combo where two words sort of sounds similar and you mush them together.

Oh, yeah. That's podcasting, baby. Podcasting, the two big jokes. I love that. Callbacks and, yeah, portmanteaus. I think. And sorry, Matt, you invented this is what I'm hearing? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Call me Pappy podcasting. He took me under his wing and I really appreciate it. That's very cool. I didn't realize. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, I just think if American comedy, you know, listened in, I think American comedy could, you know, really hit the world stage. I'm going to write this down.

Give me a second. Give me just a quick second. I know you won. Got it. You won Best comedian in Chicago three years in a row. But that's in Chicago. Big Fish Little Pond. You know what I'm saying?

Yes. Yes, of course. Yeah, small city like Chicago. Yeah, which has the population of Australia or something. I want to learn. I want to take it all in. I can teach an old dog new tricks. Please do.

Okay, great. Call back, he says. A call back. We're calling back. Yes, that's right. It's just a shame that some of your grades, John Candy types aren't around to hear this. Candy could have been big.

Candy could have been really big. If he heard of the Matt Stewart call back, patented. Trademark. We trademarked that today. Nobody steal it. We already did it. Dibs, dibs on that for sure. The second city, maybe it could have been the first city. You know what I mean?

If only you listened. First city was Melbourne, where you're from. Yeah, first city is Melbourne, obviously. Yes, we know that to be true. We checked the records for city, Melbourne, second city, Chicago. So they arrested all the people that they find in their phone, all the people that had a hand in this heist, including actually a police officer that worked as a distributor for Toby and actually played with him on the softball team. So all the guys

are coming down. So word gets out to everybody that like shit's hitting the fan. And in Kentucky, there's a law that if you have a hand in a crime ring, no matter if you're the head or somebody who sold a bottle one time, you serve the same amount of time for it. So even if you're like Tony Soprano or just like a guy that did something once, you are serving the time. I can see the logic of why they're like, you know, it's a deterrent. No one would want to risk it. But what it's really doing is encouraging everyone to stay tight-lipped about it. Or to just like go for broke.

You're like, well, you know. Yeah, I'm in now. I guess I'm the head. I saw a couple of quarters, but that guy killed someone. So I may as well get my money's worth. Yeah, that's right. I've got a few people I want to kill anyway. If I'm already a murderer.

Might as well. Might as well murder. Double jeopardy. Once the threat of 10 years in prison starts looming. over these people, Toby's accomplices start talking pretty quickly, and they start pointing the finger at Toby. And the more they talk, the bigger this crime ring gets. More and more people get arrested in the involvement for the stolen bourbon. And eventually, people start bringing back bottles of whiskey that they bought off of Toby. So, like, the politicians and the big businessmen, they keep

bringing bottles back to the police saying, oh, my God, I had no idea that this was stolen. Oh, whoopsies. I fear, we just thought they were trying something new and we were buying off the back of a truck. Like, that's our bad for sure. Literal buying off the back of a truck. Literally.

And they're like, our bad, just take it. It's so funny to go to the police with like half a bottle of whiskey and be like, oopsies, can you guys resell this? I didn't know. I didn't know. I'm just silly. And they'd been drinking it like, they're going, I can't. I don't want to give it back.

Oh, I've half drunk it. I may as well have two thirds drunk it. This is the best whiskey in the world. If that was me, I'd pour out the good stuff and replace it with shit. And then be, like, oops. I was going to say, do the old, the kids trick of filling it up with tea. But you could just fill it up with shit bourbon. Won't name any particular brands, although I think Deanna did mention before that,

I'd what I forgot where you went. You did the tour, Bull of Bourbon. Oh, yeah. Personally, I think Bullet Bourbon. is, well, I haven't had it, but I assume it's pretty good. Yeah, you take a bullet. Pro-code do go on for a bunch of bourbon. Bullet wants to sponsor this episode, we can edit it in post.

Yeah, that can be perfect. The whiskey of the podcast, for sure. Yeah. And then we'll just take some, like, clean lines of like, I love Bullet, Bourbon. Bullet. Yeah. Yeah. Bullet, bourbon.

Awesome. Toby, and eight of his softball team. mate slash accomplishes were charged with bootlegging and theft and Toby was also given the additional charge of engaging in organized crime because technically that's what this is I guess he's like a Kentucky mob boss for bourbon Toby says he's not guilty he says yes sure I stole a bottle here or there but it's not to the extent that people are saying he claims that he never stole the super rare 2013 pappy van winkle cases that's kind of like the hook of this entire story everyone's like or for the police at least so like who stole the super rare 203

20-year-old whiskey. That's what we want. So he says he never stole it and he was only guilty for stealing lower-level whiskeys like Buffalo Trace or Wild Turkeys. So this goes on for two years and in 2018 eventually Toby finally pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to 15 years for his crimes. That's a little too much. That seems like a lot. You just never know what it's going to be in these stories. Right? Yes. It feels like a huge sentence. It does, yeah. For a, you'll, I'm sure I've done stories where people have died during the crime and they've got less time. Yes, exactly, right? He's never quite sure what it's going to be.

So people were speculating that because Sheriff Melton was up for re-election, he wanted this case closed so he could show people the good work that he's doing for the town. So some people are like, like, not really on Sheriff Melton's side. He did a lot of press for this. He was always in front of the cameras talking about the Pappy Gate scandal. And people are like, he's just doing this for attention. He's just doing this. A good system. People being elected based on whether or not a criminal goes to jail.

I think that's a good system. There's no way that this could be mistreated. And so he's like, well, I took the Pappy Gate thing down and he got 15 years for it. That's kind of, that's a lot. I'll tell you, one vote he probably lost. He can't vote anymore. Yeah, well, that's true. No, because he's a criminal.

Yeah, he's in jail. You can't vote in jail. Toby ends up serving 30 days of his sentence before he was released on something called shock probation. I know. Sorry what? It feels like it's just like a slap on. They like scared him to be like you're going to serve 15 years.

I'm like just kidding. 30 days and now you're out. Can I ask, was the election 28 days after the sentence? Oh my God's like, I'm back in. That guy's cool. First order of business. Just kidding. Get that guy out there.

Pardoning that goofball. Can we get him out? And can you get me? some bourbon. Yeah, yeah. Well, I got you here. So shock probation. I had never heard about,

I've never heard about this until this, this, when I was researching this, shock probation is basically like a probation for someone who's a nonviolent, non-repeat offender. They're like, he has a job. He like has never done anything bad. Like he's, he's like a good point.

I don't think he'll still have a job. Right. Honestly. Surely he doesn't still have the job. And also it would be difficult for him to get another job. So why did you leave your last job? Well, I stole billions of dollars worth of stock from them. Yeah, yeah.

But I've served my time. I ran a shadow business way more successful than the actual business. So can I come back, please? I'll just take the shadow into the real business. I'm very good at commerce. I could be your CEO. He could be a really great salesman is what he could be. Yeah, so it's like shock probation.

Honestly, this whole thing to me just kind of feels like, oh, we're just going to scare him and then give him this probation because, well, one, he's a white guy. And two, it's like, is it that, was it that heinous of a crime? We're not really sure. Wait, in America, do white guys get better treatment? It's not like that in Australia, in Trump's, Trump's Australia. White guys are actually, you know, we're at bottom of the pile. Oh, yeah. It's tough. It's really tough. It's sad to hear that our brothers over in America are doing it, are doing it all the better. You guys would love it up here.

I think we should come over. Guns for everyone, steroids, as far as the eye can see. Oh, do you do irony in America? Okay, a bit of fun there. No, what's that? Wait, Dave, what is I? You got to explain irony. We've trademarked that as well.

Yeah, yeah, that's ours. Oh, okay. Matt Stewart callbacks and Dave Warnock's enemy, got it. If people go back and listen through to this episode, they'll notice a couple of subtle bits. We do it very subtly. Very subtle. We do not lay it on thick. We wear our irony thinly.

Yeah. But yeah, that, you know what he should do? Or what the company should do is hire him back. He'd be the best mascot. Honestly. Like, he really put him on the map. This is the first I've heard of him. Yeah, he's doing great PR.

Great PIR. What a story to tell. It's just an amazing story to be. And you go, we'll pay you to not do it anymore, basically. You can be here. Do you pinky promise that you won't steal any more whiskey from us? Now that you know it's bad, because we shocked you. Yeah, that's right.

We're 30 days in the clink. We scared, yeah. Come on. So at the end of the day, Toby was the only person to serve time for this Papi Gate crime. And to this day, Toby insists that he did not take the Pappy Van Winkle 2013 reserved. It's he a Pappy Patsy. Is that what he's saying? Yes, yes.

He is. So once Toby was sentenced, a co-worker of his, a man named Greg Anglin, who was questioned by the police before to help build a case on Toby, once he was sentenced, Greg comes back and he says, yeah, I stole some whiskey too. Maybe it was a case of Pappy. Maybe it was one. Maybe it was two. And eventually he keeps talking to the place. And he says, okay, maybe I stole 17 cases of this Pappy Van Winkle reserve.

He basically admits that he was the one who stole the super rare bourbon and not Toby. But because Greg was granted immunity for ratting out on Toby, he didn't serve any time. Whoa. And that's some bullshit. That is. Holy shit. So he did what you're saying. The thing that made this a crime that anyone cared about was the papy stuff.

And Greg was the guy. Mm-hmm. And he was interviewed to help build a case against Toby. And once Toby was sent us to jail, he comes back and he was like, maybe I took like two or three or 17. Who's counting? I don't know. Everybody was stealing back in the day. And that's the thing, too.

It makes me wonder because, like, obviously, Obviously, Toby wasn't the only one stealing the whiskey, and neither was Greg. So how many people were stealing from this distillery and didn't get caught? So all in all, the distilleries estimate over $1 million of product was stolen. But the real number is probably way more and we'll probably never know for sure. But like you said, Matt, this only adds to the lore of this Kentucky bourbon company, right? When the story of this heist broke, the media went wild and it made this bourbon even more coveted and more popular than it was before. because now everybody wants to get a bottle of the liquor that inspired the biggest

bourbon heist in kentucky that's amazing that's so great there are the end so good diana i loved what a great story and there are real echoes of our first episode which dave told us about the mona lisa getting stolen it gave it more of a rep it was not that big of a painting until after that right yeah very similar and it's so interesting how yeah like the story is what it was Like sometimes, you know, like a forged artwork. Or, you know, like that, remember that that painting that got re-touched so badly? Oh my God, yeah, the Jesus one in Brazil. Yeah, it's like the kind of thing that I never would have known about that painting.

But now, if that painting was toured with the bad touch-up, I might go see it. You want to see that one. I wouldn't go see the original. I'm sitting here. I've never, I've never wanted a glass of bourbon more. I don't know. I really, it's on my bucket list now. To try that bourbon.

To have a bucket of that. One bucket, please. One bucket. Two straws. Exactly. The Mona Lisa are like the Isabella Garner heist where in Boston they go and they take all the, they stole all the paintings. They're like, I wouldn't ever go see that museum ever, but I do want to go now and now that it has this huge story behind it. Like that's exactly what happened to this company.

And real like generally now I've got to get to Kentucky. I've got to go to what was it called, the trace. Trace distillery Buffalo Trace I'd never heard of Buffalo Trace either Oh it's good Yeah it's good It's on the same level of like bullet

You know class It's a classier I would say Wild Turkey is also nice We get wild There's a few that obviously A few companies that have Made it out here And put some cash in a marketing

Wild Turkey Jim Beam would be the most famous one In Jack Daniels I guess Yeah What else is Woodstock Is Woodstock a real Kentucky You ever heard of that one?

I don't know. That was like our cheap pre-mixed one. Pre-mixed with a very cheap cola and large cans. That's what I would drink as a teenager. Yeah, like 14-year-olds love it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't think I've ever seen an adult drink it.

It's called Woodstock and it's billed as a Kentucky whiskey. Yeah, I believe so. All right. Woodstock Kentucky. And the one I talked before. Interesting. Famous grass is, oh no, it's just a scotch. That's a scotch.

Yeah. It feels like wild. Turkey is the bourbon version of famous grouse, maybe. But yeah, wild turkey. Southern Comfort, is that a bourbon? Soco, yeah, it's a whiskey. Right. That definitely got advertised on TV here back in the day.

Southern comfort sucks. It's like... Oh, it's very sweet, right? Yeah. Or like, I mean, this isn't, obviously it's not Southern, but Jameson also huge. Yeah, Jamison's real big. We've also got Maker's Mark. Oh, yeah, Maker's Mark.

Oh, we got Maker's Mark. Yeah. That's a little fancy. because it's got the wax. Dipped in the wax. Classy. Classy wax ones. Wow, there you go.

That I think also is here. Like, I think Maker's Mark is also made in Kentucky as well. Right. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. No, I think that's right. I think that have to be made. Is it one of those ones that has to be made in Kentucky to be called bourbon?

I looked at a bourbon. It's like, it needs to be, there's a specific set of like the ingredients that needs to be, like it has to be a certain percentage of corn. It also needs to be made in. in a certain type of barrel. I don't know if it's specific to Kentucky. It might be, right? Like champagne.

You can only call it bourbon if it's made in the hills of Kentucky. Right. What says Woodstock bourbon is from Kentucky, USA. Oh. I think that there's a big ad push for it at the moment. I shouldn't have said it's only for kids. It's definitely made for adults. I just personally drank it more as a teenager.

Do you ever ever heard that in Wisconsin, if you're 16 years old and you, or if you go to a bar with your parents, you're allowed to drink if your parents says it's okay. Oh, I think that's the same in Australia, maybe. Is there something about you can have it with a meal? With a meal? A meal in Australia? You're having a sit-down meal.

But not, probably not. Or is that a myth? Maybe that's a myth. No one's, everyone's too scared to try it out of that. Yeah. My son can have a beer and I say so. Yeah, just when you're like 15 or 16,

you don't want to have a beer with your parents. You want it to be clandestine. Yeah. That's not the fun bit. It's like, if you go to like a bar with your parents, then you can order a drink and your parents can be like, yeah, it's okay. You don't have to card them, which I think is so crazy.

Yeah. It's wild. Yeah. Is it good or bad? It's the same as like there's certain states in America where if your parents agree, kids can get married it. Well, I don't know if this is still the case, but there was like, do we hear about on this podcast sometime recently?

Yeah. Someone got married at 14 or something. It was like, but the parents are okayed it. Yeah. And that doesn't sound like they should have. I don't know. They should necessarily have legal guardian. ship over these kids.

Yeah, that was a test and they failed. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you sign over your child bride and then you're just like, oh, well, now you're going to jail. Okay. We caught you. AJ, our editor, if any of that goes out, it's because AJ passed it legally. I think he should probably delete some of the children drinking stuff.

But if he did it, then he's obviously. Because we're not getting paid for it. He looked up the legal guidelines. Before we get on to our. everyone's favorite section of show where we thank some of our great patrons. We'll say goodbye to Deanna. Where should people come see if people are passing through Chicago? You're a regular at Zanis.

Yeah, Zanis, Laugh Factory, Lincoln Lodge. You can follow me at Deanna Ortiz underscore. I quite literally am always doing something in Chicago. So please, dear God, come to a show. Yeah, so follow you on Instagram is the best way to go? Definitely, yeah. And you've posted a bunch of clips up there. I was just showing the Dave one the other day.

Oh, you love it. Where you're getting the cold call and you're telling him a fuck off. Oh, my God. These guys call me on the phone. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. No, most of it's dating and most of it's about, and most comments are about how I'm evil.

And I go, I know. Guys go, this is why you're single. This guy's just trying to be nice. And I go, I know. I'm a bitch. I know. This is not, this is no information. Not new information for me. I get it.

So funny. Great feedback, though. Thanks. Thanks, guys. Thank you so much. Thank you. Guys on the internet, great, great feedback. I love them. Thank you guys so much for having me.

This has truly been like so much fun. And like I've been wanting to, such a dream. It's just great. And I hope I did a good job. Thank you so much. It was a fantastic report. We love, love that story. And I can't wait to have you on book teacher talk about the Bible.

How exciting. The Bible. Yay. And yeah, I think it was episode 99 that Deanna was on, who knew, Matt Scho if you want to hear more Deanna, like right now. Get into it. Get into it. Connor edited out the bit where he was really rude to her in an attempted joke.

And Deanna listened back to it and told me that it got edited out, which I think is very cowardly by Connor, the editor. So you'll have to DM me to hear the horrible thing that he said about you. Yes, please go and follow Deanna. And yeah, maybe we'll see you in Toronto. Yes, yeah, I'll look at my dates. And as we say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. And goodbye to Deanna.

Oh, you're ready for lunch, I reckon, Dave. The sad thing is, we've already had lunch, Matt. I'm just ready for a second lunch. Second lunch. We say goodbye to Deanna, we say hello and happy pie to our Patreon supporters who have gone to patreon.com slash do go on pod to support the show. Keep it going. And in exchange, get some beautiful.

comforting rewards. Really beautiful stuff. Beautiful, hot, attractive awards. Posen to the eyes. What about sensual to the touch? Sensual to the touch. All two main sensors. Top two sensors.

Top two senses. Look, everyone's got different top two. Right now, my top two are sight and touch. I like what I see. I like what I touch. Pretty funny for an audio format. Also like what I hear. Look, to be honest, hearing just going to the top.

But if you'd like to see us and bring Vision back to the top, you can go to Patreon.com such to go on pod. And if you're on the bonus level, a bonus episode level, which means also a bonus episode nearly every Sunday, you also get the video feed and the ad-free audio feed. So that's good for the site and you also for the vision. Yeah, and the sixth sense, your soul. That's right. I haven't seen that movie, but I think it's like a lot of souls.

I see souls. Yeah, I see souls. I see souls. I see souls. I don't spoil it. I don't know which kind of souls. If it's fish, feet, or that sort of ghostly one. A bit of all three.

Oh, well, I just said, don't spoil it. Sorry, sorry, it works on our levels. But, yeah, you get the video video we get to see us. You also get to see Deanna's fantastic background. We didn't talk about that. No. She was sitting in front of a lovely wall. I want to spoil it.

What does she call it? Stick and flick or something. Yeah, like a pick and stick? wallpaper. Wallpaper. Wallpaper. Wallpaper. But she had a catchy rhyme to court, which is just great American culture that I love.

Yes. We just call it wallpaper. Yeah. Do we call it wallpaper or wallpaper? I don't even know what we call. Who's wall? Did Walt come up with a paper? Where's wall's paper?

They call it Waldo paper. Ah, gotcha, because I didn't know what a Wally is. Yeah, no, I think it's, I'm guessing that's just a specific brand. Like contact paper. You used to use that on your... Yeah, was that brand? That size books. Contact paper was, yeah, by Nilex.

Oh, because, you know. The hose people. My dad would spend hours contacting our books. Yeah. I think Mom was our contactor at home. Yeah. Man, some cool designs. I remember this white one with splashes of like green, black and maybe pink paint across it.

Oh, that's cool. It was, in a word, rad. Wow. The rad one I remember was, did you have a reader? Like a little, like a sort of cardboardy, plasticy folder that you would put the book you're reading from primary school in. There's a little string down the middle so you know what page you're up to. Oh, that's cool.

And then mine was covered in dinosaurs, but they were all reflective. And, you know, when you look at a different angle, you see a different dinosaur and they move a little bit. Badass. And that, your reader lasts for years. Yeah. So I got to see those dinosaurs a lot. Mine was a bag. Mum made it.

It was denim. Okay. A denim, I think it's called a reader bag or a library bag. Yeah, library bags. Or is that a separate thing? A reader Anyway I hadn't thought about

And it had iron on things Little patches Little patches iron on like my name In iron on sort of fuzzy What do you call that fuzzy material Fuzz Man So looking back

You're like Our parents Sounds like yours and mine Anyway Probably not all listeners Yeah But a lot of It's like geez

They did some good work Yeah good on Which I imagine I did not give them Any enough Any amount of credit That they deserve Of course you do that

Because you've done it every year of my life. I'm going to give him a call after this. Hey, remember, that mum would be like, no memory of that at all. Remember the denim bag? He's like, I made, I had four kids.

There was a lot of bags. That's a blur. Move on, mate. Let it go. I'm going to message us straight after this. That's beautiful. Remember that denim bag, mum? I just want you to know.

I appreciate it. I'm sorry I didn't say it at the time. That's really nice. And you're like, you did. You wrote me a beautiful card. Here it is. Kept it. That made nothing to you?

These hollies. low words. Anyway, we're here to say thank you to the people that support the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod. You get a variety of rewards, we call them. But basically, there's just little things in exchange for supporting the show. You get to be part of the Facebook group, which is genuinely a lovely part of the internet. You get to hear about live shows before anyone else.

Vote for topics. Yes. Get discount codes. That was the first to hear about the Canadian tour, which we probably have just started. Yeah, I think we're at least on the travel over right now. first to hear the, yeah, of the, the do-go-on and also the stand-up side tour that me and ATB are doing. And that's true for all tours. They're the first year about any festivals we're doing.

Not including the cheerful, earful podcast festival. Solo and as a group. That's right. Oh, my God, it's really. And you're like, oh, it sounds like a money can't buy experience. No, it is a money can buy experience. And you can buy that experience every single month. Yes.

You also get to be involved with the show and submit a fact quote or a question if you are on the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe memorial package rest in peace level. And I believe, Matt, that has a little jingle that goes something. I love this. We've been listening a bit of Nick Cave lately. Maybe I'll do it. Cave-star. Cave-esque. Okay, great.

But I won't. And should I throw in like grubby words, like panties or? Put in something that's vaguely horny. Horny. Me and Dave, we talked about this on a bonus episode recently or in the near future. I think recently about how we're in a group chat with a couple other mates called Horny Nonsense, which is a Nick Cave group chat. Anyway, and we've recently, Dan, who's also in the chat, gave us some horny nonsense lyrics from a classic Beck album.

Yeah, Beck, I've missed that Beck album, but some of the quotes. Some of the horniest nonsense that you'll come across. Honestly, impressively horny and nonsensical. Anyway, this jingle goes something like this. Fact quote or question. That wasn't very cavey at all. Beautiful brast instead of thing. Yeah, it was cave-esque.

Yeah, that was cave-esque. Cave-esque. Okay, so the first thing we like to do is for people on the Sydney-Schenberg level of the Duke on Patreon, give us a fact of quite a question or a brag or a suggestion. or really whatever they like. There's a box they can write whatever they want in there. That's a little discussion point for the pod. And they also get to give themselves a title.

I don't read these out until I read them out. And I'm reading them out right now. I only say that to forgive myself for any mispronunciations. We do not forgive. Okay. The first one comes from Matthew Whittingham. What believes from, Grafton, the home of the festival of those trees with flowers. Oh, Jacarandas.

Jackarandas, of course. Garandas. Can I only say it in Peter Garant's voice, as probably has been discussed every time Matthew Winningham comes up. Anyway, Matthew has given himself the title, Junior Vice President of Bad Ideas. Huh, guess I lost my job. Either you've been promoted or demoted.

Oh, true. Maybe I'm, yeah. What's after junior? Pre-teen president? A young adult. Young adult president of bad ideas. Anyway, Matthew, is giving us a promise, apparently.

Okay. I think we get a lot of those. Writing, I've thought for a while that it would be good to get a do-go on tattoo. But the issue is, what should it be? So here's my pitch. I will get a tattoo based on something from the episode. This is read out on,

and it will be picked by you. In brackets, you being the people present while everyone's favourite section is being recorded. A lot of power just got putting in our hands name. Oh my gosh. Yes. It can be based on the topic, a specific event in the story. A dog shit riff, a word Matt mispronounced, anything.

And I'll be sure to post a photo once it's done. Oh, this is great. I mean, what was his name? A bottle of bourbon is pretty fun. What about a barrel? A barrel. I think an illustrated barrel's a great look. So could, yeah, maybe just a do-go on barrel.

Just looking at, just making sure, the Papi Van Winkle. I mean, have you seen the bottle? It's the, it's Papi-smoking. a cigar. I assume that's the papy. That must be the pap. A pap master, though, maybe not pro tobacco on the tattoo. Dave, you just went too far, man. Sorry, is that a wow surround?

I don't think people should be getting tattoos of people smoking. No, I was thinking that, that would be, I would prefer not to do that, and maybe Matthew would prefer to. Sure, well, I, why don't we just combine it to have it, so it is like, it would, at It's a barrel, like a cartoon barrel that just says do go on bourbon on it. Do bourbon. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, maybe.

A barrel with a do bourbon. Do bourbon. And there's some, I'm just looking at like barrel cartoon on. I think, I just love a look of a barrel. They are cool. Do you remember, was it, roses, chocolate? One of those cheap boxes of chocolates. Roses is cheap to you?

Well, no. I know I was here with a billionaire. Only nared. Now, do I realize it is, have you had any lately? That's disgusting chocolate. Oh, no, as a kid, it was like... It was the kid. If my mom or dad got a gift of roses,

and my sister and I would get to pick one. Yes. And you'd look at the little chart. For people don't know, they're like wrapped up in little colorful wrappers, and there's a code telling you what they are. There's a hazelnot. There's a strawberry cream, praline or whatever. And I'd spend minutes being like, do I want orange?

What do I just want? The purple was plain. And there was a few ones. There was a milk tray. there was a few different kinds because my parents were teachers you know at the end of the year my dad also a prime school teacher

he would put out a note saying please don't buy me streets chocolate I don't like it you can put requests in like that he's like I won't eat it Only the good stuff Exactly I won't I waste my phone

That was quality street wasn't it That was similar and that came in a tin Yeah he didn't like it But there was one that was like I think it was caramel and I don't know if it lasted forever, but for a little while there was one that was like half barrel. That was what the chocolate mould was.

Oh, so it looked like inside the tray. I just always loved, I don't know, someone about, and probably Donkey Kong, think a cartoon barrel, I don't know why, I find it very pleasing aesthetically. Yeah. So I, oh, they, yeah, that. Similar, there's a rum and raisin coming out

when I search for a barrel chocolate. That looks like that, but that's, that's not it, but that's, Yeah, without the fat bit at the bottom. But, um, uh, do you think Matthew Whittingham is hearing this going, oh no, I can't believe this is the tattoo. Well,

you can double or nothing if you really want to, Matthew, but I think, was that mean two tattoos next week? So, yeah, you can go, but you have to do two that we say next time

if you fat quote a question again with a double or nothing. But I think we'll, we'll have forgotten about this by then. Because we've met Matthew Whittingham a number of times. And from memory, He's not like a guy that's covered in tattoos in an obvious sense. I reckon he's got,

I think he's got a few stickers on his arms. Oh, okay, because now some people have obviously their entire body's covered. So if you had a barrel on, who cares? But if you've got... I think he might be a little bit like bits and pieces. Okay, that's good then. I feel less guilty about it then.

And he's like in you what is getting into, the way he wrote it and everything. But I think a barrel saying do bourbon or do go on bourbon or something like that's pretty fun. I think that's great. Yeah. It's so funny. We had like a half-hour break, and I can't remember any of the riffs at all.

I remember interjecting an annoying amount. Louisville Sluggers. We talked about Kentucky. You could get the outline of the state of Kentucky. Is that a handsome outline? Let's look it up. Kentucky. Is that the panhandle?

That's okay. It looks like a key. Yeah, it's not bad. I don't mind that. I mean, there's someone funny about getting a, I mean, I think there's, I was going to say getting another country or state's outline, but it would be weird to get your own one too, probably.

Honestly, it looks like Victoria, but flipped. Maybe that's what they are. I reckon the barrel's the way to go. Yeah, go the barrel, Matthew. If you want to include Donkey Kong throwing the barrel of dogo bourbon, that's up to you. That's bonus, but obviously that'll cost extra. Yeah, you know, so totally.

That's on your dime, as is the rest of the tattoo. Yes. But excited to see it. That's awesome. We've never had a promise before and what a promise. Maybe I'll see me and Serana coming up to do some stand-up and who knew it in Brisbane, I think in October. Maybe we'll see you there. Next one comes from Kayla Dice slash Macquarie, open bracket, rat wave, close bracket, with under what title, the only human in a Muppets movie?

Fantastic. There's a lot of pressure in that role. How do you play it like Michael Kane or like Tim Curry? Yeah, they said Tim Curry played it like he was a Muppet and Michael Cain played like all the Muppets were humans. I think both of them have discounted that theory. But that's how it came across anyway. In art, once you release your art into the world, it's not really yours anymore. It's up to, you know, it's in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, it's up to the people consuming the Muppets to decide what the Muppets mean. Exactly. Now, Kayla is asking a question writing,

Do we ever see a currently occurring story that you think would make a good report, but only once it's finished? I reckon I do sometimes. Yes, like there was the Louvre Heist last year. Like when they sort of broke in, there was maybe a crane involved to get up out of the window really quickly. And that's cool, but you want to know who did it.

Yes, need a bit of space. Yeah. It didn't need a court case to sort of be finalized. too. I think that maybe with the mushroom killer maybe. Oh, yeah. That also being a local one maybe means we need to give it extra time to settle. Yeah, that's right. It's from our state. Yeah, which I don't know if that makes sense or not.

I think, you know, if anyone dies in a story, you probably should give a little space. But yeah, I think about that sometimes with bands and that. Like, we've done a few, like Rolling Stones gets suggested a bit, And they just had an album out this year. Yeah. Like if we did it a couple years ago, they wouldn't have included that. But, I mean, how much is that adding to their story? I think the bulk of their story is going to be the 60s and 70s.

Rather than, they did another one. Yeah. And Paul McCartney played bass on one of the tracks. Yeah. And Mick Jagger said, oh, not sure if he'll be able to keep up. I thought I could do a Jagger. Not sure. Uh, uh, no.

No. No. No. No. No, no. For, I didn't one sure of Paul came up with the pace or the bass. And then like other people, like, he's a really good pace player. I had another.

So I get, it's almost like a punk song. And then I heard it. I'm like, ah, it's not at all like a punk song. And it's, I mean, it's sort of a moderate pace. They had in another interview. And apparently Paul played it in one go. Like 15 minutes or something. Yeah, yeah.

Bada boom. See you later. I'm Paul McCartney. Yeah. Ever heard of me? I thought you might have. heard of me, Mick. But yeah, no, so. So we would have missed that. So we're waiting for the stones to wrap up. Yeah. But or actually for them to ever win a vote. I've put them up for the

vote a bunch and I. People don't want to hear it. Interesting story. Yeah. Why are they being suppressed? People don't want to hear. I think they're just less popular stories the ones that are like this umbrella biography of a band or something that. But if it was like the time Mick Jagger fucked a poodle or something. Is that part of the story? To be honest, that was a bad riff. Okay. But, you know, it was like maybe the time that Mick Jagger got stuck in a mine or something. Then that might be a chance.

Are they two separate stories? They're different stories. He gets very lonely down of mine. Honestly, I'm voting for that story. The time Mick Jagger fucked a poodle slash got stuck in a mine. Slash got stuck in a poodle. Whenever a Sean Burger level person asks a question, we always encourage them to answer it as well. Yes, please.

And Kayla has done that writing. My answer for this is what prompted the question. Oh, my answer for this is what prompted the question. In the EFL championship, the second tier of English football last season, Southampton were caught sending analysis to spy on their opponents' training sessions. They're calling it SpyGate. Southampton were kicked out of the playoff final and have been docked points over it. And I read an article about the EFL's investigation that made me think it would be

a good episode. I don't want to put in the hat yet because I think it'd be better once the paint has dried and there's a clearer picture of what consequences stuck and how the analysis they pressured move on. So I need to hope I remember this in a year or so. I jumped straight to the question because in my last fact quote a question, I almost hit the character limit and felt guilty. So this was a quick fire one to make up for it. Absolutely nailed that. Kailer. It's a good question. I'm sure that, yeah, it happens a fair bit, but the Louvre one was the one that's most recently come to mind.

I've gone, ooh. And it is funny because you sort of go, like you said, Kayla, sometimes you go, I'm looking forward to doing this in a few years, in a few years' time, you've potentially forgotten you ever heard of anything. That happens to me all the time. I'm always spotting stories on. This would be a great episode. And I don't write them down, which I probably should.

Thank you so much for that, Kayla. The last that quote of question this week comes from Jane Fife. aka assistant director to the director of directionless defectors. An important role. Jane is offering us a brag. Love it. I think this is Jane's first fact quota question. Welcome, Jane.

Jane writes, I work as a mental health clinician. Is that right? Clinician? Yeah. I work as a mental health clinician in a really niche area or niche. I'm going to say you didn't quite get niche, right? If you're an American, I believe you say niche, which I think is superior.

It's a great niche. I love niche. I've carved out a niche. I really think a lot of the words that sound funny when the Americans pronounce differently. I think at first I'm like, that's funny. And then I'm like, I love it. I love it too. I so love Craig now.

Craig is Craig now. I love Craig is good. I love. Did you know, I talked about Craig's list? I just went straight to Craig's list. Didn't even bring it up. Didn't even say, or as we'd say, Craig's list. I'm growing.

Yeah. Because what a tedious thing for people to listen to. I mean, I've brought it up again. Yeah. I have seen people. And I even did it in The Bad Boys, especially as a joke about, for Americans, Craig. And I do have noticed a few Americans going, oh, Matt's doing this Craig thing again. I really got a, like a dog with a bone. You're a tear about Craig.

I love Craig. Anyway, it's in a really niche area. Thank you. After recently being made redundant and getting sad that I may not get to keep doing what I love, I managed to score my dream job. the holy grail of jobs for the people who do what I do, open bracket, low intensity, CBT, close bracket, with possibly the most well-known and respected mental health organization in Australia. Whoa!

I have worked really hard to be good at what I do as this was my, this was a career change for me about five years ago. So I felt like I came late to the party. I always knew I wanted to help people and make positive change in people's lives, but I could never figure out exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up until I was in my late 30s. So this is a brag and a question. What did you want to be when you grew up? Or did you slash are you figuring it out as you go? First of all, congratulations on the gig.

Jane. That's excellent news. I wonder if that's, is that, I mean, there's a few, but there was, uh, who was the, who was the Australian of the year who worked in mental health? Is it Pat McGorry or is he a different guy? I wonder if it's his organization. Maybe. Anyway, you probably didn't write it for a reason. Yeah, we won't speculate.

Yes. I reckon it was different at different times. Sort of into high school, I was wanting to do something in the creative field somewhere, like in media or something. I wanted to be a rider or something. And that was sort of squashed out of me by people advise me, teachers and family and stuff. Like, you've got to do something to get a job.

Okay, but what do you really want to? Yeah, what do you actually want to do? Brutal. So in VCA, I ended up doing the most dull subjects. You know, got ended up getting a pretty good score and went to uni to try and get in through the back door because I didn't quite have the marks to get into a certain commerce. degree, which was, you know, that's what adults do.

They're working business, whatever that means. So I did an arts degree to sort of, which was a way to get in through the back door. You do a year of arts with commerce electives, but I hated the commerce electives and loved the art subjects, which is funny. Strange. I love doing the media and literature and writing and criminology, which was one I didn't see coming. And so I ended up sticking with that.

But anyway, yeah, it changed. a lot and I would say certainly someone who was just figuring it out as I went along never thought comedy was I just never know it was a possible thing yeah until I started doing it really or maybe a couple years before that you work up on stage one day when home where am I yeah yes I was just I was very lucky that I um I uh fully changed my life starting up to see in the student youth network uh a volunteer uh media company based out of Melbourne used to be based out of RMYT, but I think it's headquartered in Carlton now. And yeah, that's where I met all the stupid old slash humdinger people

and, you know, people who opened up the idea that comedy is a thing you could even do. Yeah. Yeah, it all came through that. So it was just luck, for whatever reason, growing up where I did, it was, no one was doing this sort of stuff at all, I don't think, or not that I was aware of. And I think I'd still be probably selling air conditioning or something. otherwise, which is also good. Hey, that's fine.

You did it for a while? Yeah. So, yeah, I'd say I'm more of a figuring out as I go kind of guy. But I think in the background, always, if I knew this was possible, this would have been right up there. I feel like I'm living the dream. Yeah, very lucky. My thing was when I was a kid, I think I've spoken about this before.

I wanted to be an archaeologist inspired by Indiana Jones and The Mummy. I've got a bunch of books on. Dave's mum is an archaeologist. I call her The Mummy. To me, she is the. I mean, she's the only one I've ever had. And then as I got into music, I was like, I wanted to do music. And then I got into comedy and I was like, I wanted to do comedy.

And basically it's been one thing leads to another kind of thing. Try out a bunch of stuff until something works. Yes. And still, and feel very fortunate to be able to do podcasting and live shows and that kind of stuff. Yes. And it's something I don't know if we've mentioned on the podcast before, but we've started a little side gig of hosting trivia. Which we're both sort of big trivia fans as well.

That's something I never would have thought could be anything to do with the job. Yeah, if you need someone to host your Christmas party's trivia either online, we can do that. We've done one from here all the way to Alaska a few times with listening to the show, Katie, and her accounting firm. Yes, that's so fun to catch with that. But also we can do it in person. Well, we've done Tom's Bucks party.

That's true. In Melbourne, we did a Bucks party over in Perth via Zoom. and we also did the Apple Christmas party up in Sydney. And we've done a fundraiser recently as well. So we do all sorts of trivia stuff. And so if you want to get in contact. We live to Triv. We live to Triv.

But yeah, that's a long-winded way of saying both of us are figuring it out as we go, but having a bit of fun. Yes. I think there's something about that. I mean, it'd probably be nice to just know what you want to do and lock in from the start. But I think the journey of discovery, laughs about it. Out the journey.

Fackley. But anyway, that's a long-winded way for us to say. Congratulations, Jane. That's really good news. So cool. Thanks to Jane, Kayla and Matthew for their facts, they're quotes and the questions. If you want to get into that, jump in on the Sydney-Sharmberg level. And, yeah, that's as simple as that.

There'll be a link. If you're on the Sydney-Shineberg level and you don't know how to, or this is the case for any Patreon-related rewards. in inverted commas, whatever we call them, bonuses. DM me on the Patreon group and let me know if you have any trouble with anything in terms of not having your shout out if you think you've been missed or any questions you've got. It's absolutely zero trouble at all. Every time someone messaged me, it's always very apologetically.

Sorry to bother you. It's like it's absolutely no bother. It's what I'm there for. Sorry, I got choked up there. I just love spreadsheets so much. Well, speaking of shoutouts, that's the next part of the Patreon section of the show. We get to shout out nine people who have been supporting the show over the last few months. Yeah.

Signed up and we get to enshrine them by reading out their name, their location. They've told us where they are. And then Jess usually comes up with a little game to give them sort of a nickname or something to do with this week's episode. What do we think about this? Yeah. We give them a workplace, fictional type workplace. Okay. Well, I guess it'd be real or fictional.

Yeah. And, yeah, they work there for a few years, do steroids and whatnot, and then eventually rob the place. Of course. Steroids must be involved. Yeah, that's all we, I mean, it might go unspoken. Yeah. But just know that as part of your story. You are absolutely ripped as shit.

What do you want to do one for one? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'll kick us off from here in Melbourne in Sunshine. It would be a beautiful borough of sunshine here in Melbourne. Thank you so much for your support. Hamish. Hamish. Any thoughts on where Hamish is working?

Hamish, I reckon, have you heard of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory? I have. He's in there, and he's working there, having a great time. And I don't know if you've seen the movie, but there are a few kids who fall for the trap, and they steal for this fake bad guy. But Hamish steals, but he doesn't fall for shit. He's bypassing that guy and he's selling it on the black pocket. and he gets away with it for ages.

Well done, Hamish. All these, you know, fantabulous gobstoppers, you know, pure, pure top grade quality cocoa. Yeah, that's good stuff. What about, you get like a bucket to the river of chocolate, just sell a bucket. Yeah, bucket of chocolate. He's a bucket of chocolate.

Yeah, he sells out of the back, bucket chuck, bucket chuck, buck for a bucket of chalk. One buck, that's pretty good. Back then, this is back in whatever time. that was. Yeah. You know, chimney sweep days or whenever that was. I got on Hamish, I'd like to thank from Eureka in California, Megan Burns. Or Megan Burns, but probably Megan Burns.

Megan Burns is working at Krusty Burger on the Simpsons. Yeah, I was thinking nuclear power plant. But that makes way more sense. Working at Krusty Burger and it's been Shawshank Redemption style stealing one ship per shift. Yes. In her pocket. And dropping it out to pigeons outside. Just to stick it to the man.

Yeah. A stick, yeah, quite literally. Well done, Megan. Stick a potato to the man. Oh, we're losing it. I'm two coffees in now. Thank you so much, Megan. From Rotherham, is that right?

Rotherham. I think we say Rotherham. Rotherham. Of course. I assume this is in Germany. Rotherham. It sounds German. It does, yeah.

Rotherham in Great Britain. Thank you so much for your soul. support Jake Bannon. Now, Jake Bannon actually works at KACL, Seattle's talkback station in the Frazier Craneverse. I might have got that cool sign wrong. But anyway, the radio station phrases in and stealing a lot of Bulldog merch, Bulldog hosts the sports show. And yes, it's like sports paraphernalia, I guess. Bibs and bobs. Yep. Yeah, he also, like, you know, probably, you know, steals Ros's heart. Not sure.

Probably. Probably. On you, Jake. Well done. Hey, and Jake, we're listening. That's one of the lines that he says in the show. That's good. I forget you hate Frazier.

I just don't get it. I just don't get the appeal. It's very common. Okay. I think it's very common people are like, yeah, the snooty guy. I don't know why I find it real fun. I think it's because it's so ridiculous. And it's just like old school sitcom.

High jinks and you're like, this is... Everything goes back to the start. And each year I watch all the Christmas episodes. And you see when you're watching one episode every two seasons or something, you see how inconsistent it is. It's like this is our, always our Christmas tradition. We have this certain thing. And the next one, it's like there's no sign of that particular tree or whatever.

Yeah. Next up from Atlanta in Georgia. Thank you to Julie. Julie. What about? Julie has been doing a few trial shifts at Cheers. Oh, wherever everyone knows your name. Julie has not taken the time to know everyone's name,

but she has taken the time to note the location of the cash register. Oh, that's just chatching. Chatching. If someone pays for one beer, that's one. for Julie, none for cheese. Yes. Three or four shifts, you're walking away with five or six hundred dollars. I'll tell you about this.

I used to have a friend who worked at a local pub, which had like a sort of a youth party night on Fridays. And if you paid him for jugs, beer and cash, very busy night, you know, you give him, back then, this is like in the olden days, jugs were like 10 bucks or something. Yeah, yeah. Give him, you'd give him 10 bucks, and he'd give him. you like $12 in coins change. And you take the jug.

Yeah. Looking back, obviously not ideal. Yeah. But it's theft. Jeez, it made for a cheap night out. Either that or he was very bad at mathematics. He did not last how long. Not a coincidence, I reckon.

I reckon they were looking at stock take going. So it's weird. The shifts he works. We make negative money. So that was cheers for Julie. Cheers to you. And cheers to you, Julie. Hey?

Is this on? See you on? When she walks in, everyone says, Julie, that's something on cheers. They'll say Norm. All right. I thought you were going to join in with me. You didn't.

That's right. Next up from Woioi in the Northern Territory here in Australia, up from the Never Never. Is that where the Never Never is? Thank you so much for your support. Brody Heath. Thanks, Brody. Brody Heath.

Actually worked for a time at the The Bugle, which is a newspaper from a superhero thing. Oh, good one. Can't be more specific than that, but they, maybe Spider-Man. I was thinking Spider-Man. I was thinking Spider-Man. And, yeah, working there and stealing unused roles of film. Is Spider-Man a photographer?

Or is he a journalist? Clark counts the journalist. They don't reuse ideas in comics, do they? Daily Bugle. Daily Bugle. That's not bad. So, yeah, just absolutely got so. many rolls of unused films.

Yes. Yeah. Julie was going chiching. He's going, Flick. Flick. That's, if you weren't around back then, that's exactly what old cameras said. Exactly.

Next up from a location that's unknown to us, meaning they're probably deep within the fortress of the malls, listening to this right now. Thank you to TK. TK. TK. TK to the max. What's TK Max?

Is that a shop? It's a shop, yeah. There you go. maybe this could be the titular TK. Oh, do you reckon that TK's working at TK Max? I wonder. Or maybe they own it. I mean, we have been going fictional.

Yeah, I was going to say that they've been working at Black Books. Oh, yeah, great. And they've been trying to steal, like, the most valuable, like, leather-bound Charles Dickens. Probably be more likely to steal those than his wine. Yeah, no. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Leather-bound books.

The bad. That's actually from a quote on the show. Someone says they want to sell them these books. He says, they're leather bound. And then he goes, how much were you giving me about it? He goes, well, they're leather bound pounds? Funny stuff. Bernard.

Funny as, Bernard. Funny as. On your TK. From Leads, Leads, Leads in Great Britain. Oh, sorry. I just thought there was some noise bleed there, but it was probably from the real world. and the mics would not have picked it up. Yeah, but it also spooked me a little bit too.

I don't know if I was spooked, Dave. Let's go to the tape. I've shot myself. Let's go to the toilet. Clean me up. From Leadsleetleads in Great Britain. Thank you so much to Dylan Volens. Dylan Volens, who works at the Sheffield's house's assistant to the nanny.

Good one. Yeah. Actually, no, assistant to Maxwell Sheffield. Oh, right. Coming for CC's sort of territory. Yeah. Or she's a co-producer or something. Yeah, he's sort of, yeah, he's an assistant to Max and Cici really gives him a hard time. Yeah. But he also steals songs from musicals before they release.

Oh, great. He just squeezes himself onto the writing credits. Oh, good one. Really clever. He goes, yeah, yeah, I'll lodge that with the copyright. Yeah, no worries. co-written by Dylan Vowlands. Okay, there we go.

Another hit. Well, now they obviously never quite the level of that main guy, the cats guy. Dastardly, Andrew Lloyd Weber. Andrew Lowe, you know that Max passed on cats? He thought it sounded ridiculous. That's like a running gag in the show, which is now that I know a little bit more about cats, after Jess's bonus episode, last cheerful earful, I'm like, yeah, he was right to pass him. It's just fucking nonsense.

One of the characters's name is Rum-Tum Tugger. I missed a mustophiles. It's really, it says something bad about humanity that that became a hit. What was wrong with us in the 80s and 90s? Oh, yeah. Makes you think. Makes you think. It makes you think.

And finally, I'd like to thank from York in South Carolina. Hello, a big shout out. A big thank you to Kelly Mitchell and Kelly Mitchell. Mitchell, Mistophocles. Is that what you, is that? Did you just say a cat name and sound like that? Mr. Mistophiles. Wow.

I think Kelly's, Kelly, Kelly. Mitchell, Mostofically. That's great. That's great. That's great. That's great. Now, let me move on quickly.

Kelly has been working with Scooby-Doo in the mystery machine. And quietly has been... Scooby snacks. Yeah, taking Scooby snacks and also siphling petrol out of the tank. Obviously, you know, it's a low-level crime. Not getting heaps of money for it. And she would have got away with a two. If she hadn't started that fire.

If she hadn't started that fire, if she didn't suffer, from petrol poisoning. You got remember, Kelly, you suck a little bit until it's coming in your mouth, then you spit. Thank you so much to Kelly, Dylan, TK, Brody, Julie, Jake, Megan or Megan, and Hamish, or Hamish. And that brings us to the Triptage Club, Dave. This is our clubhouse slash Hall of Fame

for people who have been supporting the show on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years. And now to put their names up in lights, in gold letters on the wall. We also have a Theatre of the Mind, a club. Yeah, are you feeling that? I feel like we've got a hands up in the air, feeling, feeling, it's electric in the air. Whoa.

Feeling that. And to, yeah, welcome them into our club, which is Theatre of the Mind style, but basically inside, we've got a lounge slash hangout zone slash bar. I just winked when you said that, and that felt awful. Winked to the camera. Once you're in, you can never leave, but why would you want to? Because we've got everything you need, including entertainment. We now have toilets that are working, thank goodness.

We've got music, games, stories to tell. Jess is behind the bar usually, but she is mysteriously not here this week. She's fine. Open wide, come inside. I have been watching a lot of play school. Can you tell? What about food or drink? What do you think you'll be having this week?

Well, I think we've got to be having the puppies. Yeah. Puppy Van Demonsland Bourbon, the good stuff. or, you know, change that over to the real one. Van Winkle. Yeah. Pappy Van Winkle. We got the real one.

We got the real one. Absolutely. The 30-year-old, the original barrel. Yeah. The last bottle's left or whatever. Yes. And this week, joining us live, you're never going to believe it. What?

They've just said yes. And I think they'll have to maybe reform for this event. It's the beasts of bourbon here. Oh, they do. I think they tour as the beast sometimes now, but they're going full. Full Bourbon. So the original lineup. Yeah, so they're having to resurrect a member or two, which is possible in this club.

It is. Which is really exciting. I never get to see them the classic lineup. So very excited about that. Very excited. Big Tex and the boys. You know his real name? Greg.

You're lying. I'm not lying. So the singer is a pretty cool cat, pretty Australia's rock and roll bad boy, shall we say. And he's called Tex Perkins. Cool character whose real name is Greg. That's good stuff. That's real good stuff. Yeah.

He's been in a heap of great bands. The Bees Suburban and Crucese, probably the big two. Yeah. But also had a great outfit with Don Walker from Cold Chisel called Tex, Don and Charlie. And they were fantastic. Can I just say that? I reckon they'll do a few hits from the other bands too. Oh.

Can I request paychecks? Yes. Fantastic. They'll close with that for you. Oh my God, that is really sweet. So we've got two inductees this week. Now, Dave, you normally celebrate their entry with a bit of weak wordplay. So the theatre of the mind, you're on stage.

You're overseeing the show. You're hyping up the nearly 1,200 people in there already. We've got a big crowd for the Beasts of Bourbon tonight. And they're all up on their feet. They're ready to go. They're pumped. And it's the warmest crowd and they're really welcome in newcomers. Yeah.

That's not clicky at all. It's all open arms. It's a beautiful place, beautiful space. A lot of beautiful faces. Now, first up, Dave, we've got Interdeclere from Dublin in Ireland. Perhaps we're, oh no, Jess was a month or so ago in her second home, Dublin. And she loved it. Maybe you saw her there. Adam French, welcome in. Adam French, let me just say, Chetam! Jeetam! French, I love you. Love you, Adam.

La Mour. Is that something? Yeah. Miamour? Because you know, the Empire Records, you ever see that? Yes. And there's this sort of like fake pop star in it, sings this song, it's called like, Mi Amor.

Something Amour. But I was just thinking of Empire Records, because the opening track of that is, Honeymoon is over. by Tex Perkin, of course, see. Very cool. It all ties together, sort of. And the second and final inductee in the Trip Ditch Club this week

comes from Spartanburg in South Carolina in the United States. Welcome into the club, Sarah Faith White. Because you got to have Sarah Faith the White. Baby! Chune. Great tune. Dragon the Beast will cover it. Yeah, they're doing, they're like, okay, we're doing some.

Some for everything, but how many songs are you going to get us to do? Oh, it's a big show. We're going to, two sets. Yeah, play mbop. All right, Jesus. I mean, we'll make it good. We'll make anything good. And that is already good, so we'll make it great.

Thank you so much to Sarah and Adam. Welcome in, make yourself at home. Get yourself a barrel of bourbon. Now, as you're talking to Matthew Whittingham's tattoo there? Pawning to it? Yeah, you can go have a look. Go have a look. check out the fresh ink.

And the last thing we need to do is welcome one inductee into the triple triptage club, Dave. What is this? This is for people who amazingly have been supporting the show continuously, never dropping off even for a month, for nine consecutive years. Amazing. Unbelievable. It's a very exclusive club at the moment. This is our 37th inductee, which in itself, the fact that there's one blows out one. Yeah, I'm so stoked and excited.

Or like you saw me like I was going through figuring out if we had anyone to read out today. And I'm like, holy shit. Yeah. We got one. It blows Matt's mind. And we give the person, well, I give them a sort of a compliment, an affirmation, a salute on the video that they get to watch. Jess usually gives them a little kiss. I'm happy for kiss.

I'll be surrogate lips for Jess today. And we also give them an episode. Oh, a new tattoo idea for Matthew, if it's not too late. Surrogate lips. So just a pair of lips and it just says surrogate over the top, sort of banded around the top of lips and lips under the lips. Okay, I will be feeling really guilty if I see that on someone's skin forever. I won't be feeling guilty. We've now given Matthew two options.

Double and nothing. He's sitting there under the needle going, wait, what? We also give them an allocated episode in the back catalogue that they get to be the official custodian of. That's right. And Matt's got that information in front of him. But first, we would like to thank them. You give them... Oh, baby.

The moment at the sun. I hear the... I hear the... What is the lyrics to that phrase this song? You won't know because you don't watch... Maybe I hear the blues are calling. Maybe hear the blues are calling, because this triple triptych inductee is from Seattle in Washington and the United States.

Please make them welcome. I'm so excited to bring them in. Erin Sterling. May you always walk taller than even that beautiful space needle in Seattle. Aaron, salute. Oh, I don't know if I liked the sound that made. Your surrogate lips are quite wet. Yeah, it was interesting.

Just makes it seem easy, but yeah, sorry, that was awful. Should I have another go or leave it at that? I think it's unique, which is nice. Just another option, a little peck. I put too much in that first one. The pressure was on. And I am so excited with this. What an episode.

This is a bona fide classic from the back catalogue. You are getting custodianship, Aaron, of episode 37, the Diatlov Pass incident. Wow. That's a real classic. Maybe, was that our first epic? Yeah, that was certainly a... The Titanic might have been the other felt like at the time. It was a big epic one, but looking back, maybe that is not the case.

But yeah, the Dietloff Pass incident, I remember that getting a lot of love at the time. So thank you so much, Aaron. Yeah, you're in the second, you go behind the gold door and the triptitch club. You've got the triple triptage club. It's beautiful in there. Hard to describe in words. Yeah, and yeah, you'll get your portrait painted. I don't know.

I haven't checked in there for a while. It's still alive. It's still alive. Have we been feeding him? We should be feeding him. I hadn't even considered that. Hopefully, like, he's been getting a few of the snacks that Jess has been. Yeah.

Unless he throws them out. He gets the scraps. I think he's got to deal with the devil. You know, like the guy of the painting in the attic. Oh, yes. Doreen Gray. Yeah, he's got a Doreen Gray like packed only. His is, he has to date someone young.

Oh, okay. And they will age and he won't. He won't. He won't. Something like that. Okay. Good to know. I think it's maybe the reverse of that.

He ages and they don't. It's a reverse Doreen Gray scenario. The more that I think about it. But it's lucky for them. Lucky for them. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you so much to Aaron

And everyone else we just shout out to Legends one and all Anything we need to tell people, Dave, before we gear? Just that we will be in Canada Very shortly for our first ever run of live shows In Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto Can't wait, hey We're going to be doing live podcasts

And Matt and Al are going to be doing some stand-up Get tickets at do-go-onpod.com And while you're there, you can find all that information for our socials at Do Go On Pod Yes. Except for at Dugu 1 podcast on TikTok if you want to see our faces. That's true. And if you want to see our faces, you can see us live at the cheerful, earful festival

here at the Humdinger Studio where we record. Only we're doing it downstairs in the big space with the big beautiful. We're going to think about what we're going to have behind us. Maybe just as close up of Matthew's tattoo. Teselating on the giant screen. We'll think about that. Yeah. So that's coming up.

in October, I believe. End of October, absolutely. So, yeah, come on down. You can watch that live in person, as you're thinking. I'm about to say here, Matt. Or where else can you see it? You can buy tickets to stream it online as well. And you get weekend passes to see two DoGoan episodes,

plus a Who Knewit and a book cheat. Yeah, four for the price of... And then there's also an extra one that is a Primates one, but that's sitting out separately. And I've just realized it's on the same day as a Do-Go-Go-on and Who-N-N-W-N-W-N-W-N-W-N-W-N-Rop-Dbbs. Dibb's not doing the Primates report that day. Dib's not doing the primates report that. Awesome.

Thanks so much for us for listening to the show, supporting the show, telling you friends about it. We absolutely love that. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Later's!