Do Go On - 59 - William Shakespeare

Episode Date: December 7, 2016

William Shakespeare - sure we're taught that he wrote some famous plays and poetry, but did he really write them? Do we know what he looked like, and how many words did he create out of thin air (thin air is one of the phrases he coined)? Dave will try and answer these questions, Jess's cough has now become a husky laugh and Matt will do some accents - some he has control of, others not so much. Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocken. I'm here with Jess Perkins over there. Hello, Jess.

Hello, Dave. And the standing manding, Mr. Matt Stewart. Hey, Dave, I'm standing. We're not sure why. Some people at work have standing desks. Do you've seen those? Yeah, absolutely. It's for my posture.

Yeah, they're very good for you ergonomically. You're about standing pod. But it's... He actually is standing up. Do you think it's kind of intimidating? Because we have to look up at him now. Yeah. He's the tallest man on the show anyway.

Is it a power play, do you think? Yeah. I'm going to take a service. He's having a sip of beer, so I reckon it's actually just so you can sneak out and get beers more easily. Which I'm okay with and get us ones when if you're doing that. Great, thank you. I'm already getting tired.

Do you want to sit down there? No, you're fine. Yeah, I'll let you sit down. Yeah. There we go. There we go, little buddy. Come back down to our level. What'd have been great, Jess,

if you'd pulled the chair out from under him. Oh, no. And we heard him fall over live. Matt, maybe stand up again, just no reason. Okay. All right. I mean, it's a little unconventional, but I'll give it a go. And he's up.

Tim. I mean, down. If a Matt falls in a podcast studio and no one's around to see it, did it happen? Hmm. That is a thinker. I'll come back to you next week with a report. Oh, that's that. on the topic.

Jess, you're not coughing this week. Well, don't jinx it. I still am dying. Yeah, you were coughing moments ago. Hashtag,

what was it? Jess health update, I think, which is very sweet. We've had a couple of people asking. And somebody said, pray for Bop. Hashtag Pray for Bop.

Probably one of my favorite hashtags that's ever happened. I am better. I'm on steroids and antibiotics. We had the Real Comic Heroes podcast, make a little, we really enjoyed that, which we put on the Instagram, of you dressed as She-Hulk.

I've shown so many people that. All roided up. Really, you're quite proud of that. I love it. I think it's great. I look great in green. The man behind that podcast is a graphic designer, and he messaged me, a PM, me.

It's a DM or PM? Well, both, fine. Both, all right. Direct or private message, both fine. AM. AMD. AIMD-E messaged you. He what now?

Nothing. Is that what AM stands for? Annal message. Yeah. Yeah, I thought I, yeah. It did come up through my buzz. So it makes sense. I thought it was an anti-autra.

But he was saying he was a graphic designer and it was a bit embarrassed because he rushed it. And it should have been a lot better. I'm like, oh, that is a lot. Have you seen the ones I'm putting together? Have you seen Matt's paint or whatever you do? Microsoft Paint, 1996. Hey, look, I just laughed and didn't cough. So to answer your question, yeah, I'm on the mend.

I'm actually interested by the steroid type thing. What's the go there? I'll be 100% honest. The doctor did explain it and I'm not entirely sure. It's just, it's a fairly normal treatment for asthma. I always tune out when the doctor has said, we can fix it with this thing. I'm like, great. You've said you fix it.

It's something to do with, like. And then they explain it. I'm like, yep, yep, yep, yep, prescription, please. And then I'll go. I'll just go and get it. Yeah, it's something to do with like opening up the airways better. What to strengthen the airways? It's not, I don't know what.

I'm going to be, rippled. Rippled. I got rippled airways. I think rippled will help. Hey, everything's worth trying once. Okay. Dave doesn't normally drink on the podcast. Yeah, and there's a reason why.

But I was... Yeah, that's right. And I'm going to be reporting too. He's getting absolutely rippled. He's going to be well rippled. Is that ripple you fancy? I was out for lunch with a friend before this and had a jug of pins. I think got some more drinks on the way?

I think you would have been able to handle that pre-steroids? No, no. It's changed me. You could not lift that jug. It's changed me. Now, yeah. You're a she-hulk of a woman. Yeah.

There's a compliment. Yeah, thank you. It's also a hot, this would be our hottest podcast yet, I think. Do you reckon? What is it? 32 today. Yeah, it's pretty warm. That's why.

Celsius. Yeah, thank you. Which I don't know what is in Fahrenheit. I think it's 3,06. Yeah, I think that's about right from my math. Yeah, that sounds like the weird fucked up scale that they use over there. I think it's like, isn't it plus 30? And then some?

No. Isn't it? No. It's some weird. It's a, it's nice. 90, it's 89 degrees. 89 degrees. Which is not that hot.

I did say plus 30 and then some. So I'm not wrong, I'm not wrong. Dave. What was that Nicolet Shee? Dave, apologise. Sorry. But I will make it up with a Nicolet She reference.

What was that Nicolet She boyfriend? The guy married to Jessica Simpson. How many degrees was his band? 98, I think. I thought that I always thought that was like an angle thing. More like a geometry. Yeah, rather than temperature. Oh, yeah, I definitely would have thought so.

Oh, 98. Did you not think that that was heat? No. I definitely would have thought... That they were slightly... Like, it's a right angle gone slightly wrong. Yeah. That were the bad boys of geometry.

Their debut album was called Hypottenus. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah. I think like a great trigonometry reference to break Jess's int outage topping. That's very funny. Hype. Well, 98 degrees is 36 degrees.

So we're nearly... Hot news. Hot news. Don't believe the hype. Is that what you said? Enjoy that. that. No, you improved it, actually.

I was going to say claim it. Look, I actually thought, I didn't think you said it, but then I thought, hang on, well, he would have said it because that was the joke, right? And then I, no, I didn't improve it. I improved it. Well done. Thank you for always. I mean, I think you spoon fed it a little. I left a little work to be done. Yeah, that's right.

You set it up and I spiked it. I'm the IKEA of comedy. It was an alley-o. Give us the pieces. You build it yourself. It was an alley-oop. You know, Matt sort of lifted it up and you just. bang, dunked it in.

Is that what an Aleyup is? Yes. It feels like we're taking it longer than normal to get to the show. I'm okay with that. Okay. Another thing that I've been getting a little bit of correspondence about

is people who are genuinely excited about getting Christmas cards with your toe print on it. Oh no, that is going to be happening. If you are at one of our Patreon supporters, nearly all of you will be getting a Christmas card from us with a personal message and a few weeks ago,

if you haven't heard that one, I promised to put my to... What was the reason? I don't... I think you were riffing. I'm going to put a toop print on there. And Matt said, well, no one wants that. Jess said, no one wants that.

We've had several tweets saying that they only want it if it has the tooprene. Yeah, and so are you going to write anything or just the tooprint? Is that your contribution? That's my contribution. Now, the way we're going to do it is Dave's going to do his tooprint, and then Jess and I are going to turn them into reindeer and like little Santa heads. And also, when you said nearly everyone will get them,

Is that like you're just picking out a couple of people you're saying, not for you, mate? I know, so it's, I think it's if you pledge $5 or more, anyone above that, which is nearly all the pledges. Most people have chosen to go for that. And if you're not already involved, we're going to be, you have to sign up by December 15. And that is only because we want you to get it by Christmas because we don't want to send it, you know, on the 24th and you get it next year. Yeah. So, and, um. Man, I tell you, I fucking hate Christmas the day after.

I love Christmas so hard. And you just hate it. But the day after, I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I'll wake up and I'll go out in the lounge room, there'll be a Christmas train. Like, fuck off Christmas tree. If anything. I don't care about you anymore. Get out of my house.

You've got to take it down. Well, leave anything. I don't want, I fucking fuck it off. I throw it out the front door. Boxing Day boy. Chicken, get out of here. Decorations and all. Yeah.

Well, if you think about it, I like Christmas. Well, boxing day should be the least Christmasy day of the year because it's the most time between now and the next Christmas. It should be the least. I'm smashing baubles against brick walls. I just hate it. I get nothing, you know, there's very few things I go from love to hate so quickly. Like right now, I fucking love Christmas right now.

I'm going down the street and there's decorations in the trees or whatever and I'm like, yes. And you're singing, fa la la la la la la. But in three weeks, you would punch someone from the first. Salvation Army in the face. Yes. Whether they are or not referencing Christmas in any way. Just because of the principle. Yeah, the principle of it.

I knew they were only recently excited about Christmas in some level. Do you just throw out your Christmas presents? Throw them out. Yeah, no, I'm talking about. I got no use for them. Hey, Dave, you're doing the topic this week, right? And your topics go so long. We should really get into it.

Is that a complaint? No, no. No, just an observation. Matt's got his feet up. Complaintment. He's nearly finished his beer. He's wearing shorts. Can someone merge complain and compliment together? Complaintment.

Okay. That's what you'd already done. I'd already done it. Or compliment. It was not as... I like compliment. That's way better. I'm not offended anymore.

Compliment. By Jess. Matt, your word is still fucked. Jess saves the day. You got a couple more weeks. You've got a big punch in the face, you dickhead. December 26, he's coping it in the dick. Look, to be honest, I was going to go for the face, but I'll take requests this time.

My dick is wide open. One day, year, boxing day. Have you heard about this Amazonian fish? You're probably having your trivia lie. That it's like, I think it's a myth. I don't know if it's like a guaranteed myth. There's some sort of fish that goes up your dick urethra. And if your dick's wide open on boxing day, I'd stay clear with the Amazon.

Because they go in there and then their spikes come out and then they eat your dick from the inside out. And then maybe go up inside your body and eat all of you out. I'm pretty sure you've just exaggerated it a lot. I think that they hook in with a barb and then you just can't get it out. Are you planning on going to the Amazonic Boxing Day though? I wouldn't. December 26th, 2016. I've been counting down all year.

Don't do it. Not all your dicks. And I'm scared of pissing on planes, but I love pissing into rivers. Oh, no, Dave, no. It's a recipe for disaster. Wait, so you, you reckon that's true. Even the swimming up your stream thing That's just not possible

I don't think it's up the stream But I reckon maybe if you urinate in the water But then they're going up for still But I guess the piss is opening the urethra up I want to stop talking about this now If we can be honest I was having a really nice time Oh okay

We're all having fun until the urethra's coming out Yeah All right guys That has literally always been my saying Okay we'll get onto the topic question is, who has the world's biggest urethra? Oh, that's another thing on... Blue whale.

On Patreon, the new target is... If we reach the new target, we'll put Keene for Paine officially in the hat. And you can vote for it. In the, yeah, in the... Golden hat. The pole hat. So it'll be a one in three chance of getting up for an actual topic, which will be... I don't know what I'll do with that.

There's no chance of them not going for it. You realize that. You're writing off two other topics. You may as well just throw out some... I don't know. I don't know if everyone is that keen for pain. I reckon we're putting it... I think they all think it's a bit of a funny joke.

But when it comes down to it, do they want a whole hour and a half about me talking about dicks? Jess doesn't because we talked about dicks for about four seconds. I already turned out. I already hate it. Exactly. And I think that's what people are like in the real world. I can't relate.

Well, I think that Matt and I'm going to start a new podcast called... Wait, everyone's got a urethra, right? Is that not true? I thought that was just the Peehole. Yeah, I'm keen for Pee-N. Okay. I can't relate to that, can I? Well, let's change it to Keen for P-Hole.

That's, nah. I don't like that either. Okay, there we go. Matt doesn't like poo jokes. I don't like Eurethro jokes. I love them all. Yeah, you're sick. Pleased to go on.

Okay, we've got the topic here. Now, this is our first episode to be drawn from our Patreon Golden Hat. So the deal there is if you sign up for Patreon to a certain level, it's called the Sydney Sheporty. Dyschenberg Deluxe package. Your topics go into a special golden hat. We are obligated contractually to pick your topic. It also says we'll go in order of who's pledged.

Yeah. Who's pledged for that? But our first pledger, if you're out there, Zach Steinbecker, I've emailed you, what do you want a topic to be? He was number one. Oh. So Zach Seinebacher,

you were the number one Sydney-Synberg Deluxe package, signer-upper. Jesus. It's a mouthful. Get in contact if you would like us to do your topic. So we have to go, it defaults to number two. Right. That's fair.

And The Man the Magic, Rowan Epstein. Rowan. Rowan Epstein. Do you see suggested a topic before? That name rings a lot of bells. Does he tweet a lot? Maybe he's a frequent tweeter. Just a bloody good guy.

Yeah, we know you. We know you. We know you. So before I announce what your topic is, we'll start with the normal question. The question is, in April this year, we celebrated, it's a weird way, of saying this, 400 years since whose death.

400 years. Celebrated. Wait, I missed the start. April this year, it was 400 years since who died. April this year. So what does that take us back to? To 1616-16-100s. What do you know about the 1600s, Jess?

Sweet-Euff-A. Oh. Sweet-Afe. 16-Hundreds. Is it like early America? Is it like George Washington or something? It is not George Washington. Are we talking about somebody British?

They are very British. Are we talking about somebody who perhaps wrote a few famous things? Chaucer? No. Not Chaucer, but we are talking about a writer. Are we talking about somebody who maybe, I don't know, built a theatre that looked a little bit, something like a globe. I know who it is. All right.

When is Paltrow was in a movie about him. Yeah, that's right. It is. Come on, you can do it. Then Ray Fine. Or his brother. What's his brother? He's his brother.

Ralph? His brother Ralph. Parents had very limited amount of letters that are allowed to use. What is he says? Is it Jack Fines? I can't even think of it. Jeremy Fines. What's that even?

Jeremy Fines? I'm trying to think of Joseph Fines. Anyway, there was a movie with Joseph Fines playing this character. It was a real life person, and that person died 400 years ago this April, and that was... William Shirene. Shakespeare.

Shuckuspir. It is the Bard William Shakespeare. Oh, it is. Rowan Epstein has suggested that topic. Thank you, Rowan. That's a great topic. I think that's been in the hat as well. And it was also on my list of just like good topics to do.

But it's a big one. I'm curious about him. Because there's so much chat about him being maybe multiple people or, you know, like him him not being as good as people say. Or inventing like 90% of the words in the English language. That's pretty good.

It's pretty good. I want to cover all those things. I'm so sure. Words like grape. Jessica. And Darrell Oates and Hall. Yep. He invented those.

No. Not Hall's first name because I couldn't think of it. Darryl Hall. Oh, okay. John O. It's Doreal Hall and John Oates. Doral Hall. Doral.

No, so it's Daryl. Shakespeare invented my name. Jessica. Really? I don't know. Is that true? Yes. Are you absolutely sure of that?

It was first used in this spelling in the Merchant of Venice. And his mum or his wife or his daughter or his cousin or someone has the same name as a current actor. Yes. All right. Congratulations. Thank you. His wife or daughter or mom or somebody he met. once has a similar name to somebody who exists now.

You already said it, Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah, he was married to Gwyneth Paltrow, which is exciting. I mean, what an honour. So it sounds like you guys know little bits there. I was a drama nerd. I know a bit of Shakespeare. A little Shakespeare. I went to the Globe Theatre three years ago when I was in London,

and I bought this little badge that said, all the world's a stage, which is one of my favourite Shakespeare quotes. It was this tiny little badge. It cost like 50p. I was so excited. And then it was in my... bag that was stolen later on the trip in Spain, so I don't have that bad general. Oh, no.

But I think about it often. But did you think about how that criminal was also on the world stage? Wow. He was just a villain in your life play. Yeah, we all have many parts as the same goes. And did you, can I just ask, did you like that? Because that line comes from as you like it. Very good.

Thank you. Thank you. Also, a drama nerd. you fully studied it. I'm a bit of a... And I was happy that I got to do... That this topic came up. Because it's worrying,

opening up the golden hats to something you have to do. Yeah. And then seeing that come through, you think, whew, I'm having that. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one.

Well done. I also went to the globe this year in August. I saw Macbeth. It was great. In the flesh. What's he doing? He's looking pretty good for his age.

Zonbified. A friend of mine... Considering he had his head chopped off over 400 years ago. What a hell. A friend of mine, his wife, directed the Tamey of the Shrew that was being done at the Globe.

And I was like, what? You're directing Shakespeare at the Globe? What? Very exciting. How did they do that? How do they do that? What do you mean?

How do they get that? How do they get that? No, no idea. I don't know. Are they a very successful theatre director? Must be. Must be. They were just walking past.

And they were like, say, Anyone inquire within. You. We need someone now. She was like, all right. Kenneth Branner was not available. So they get the next best thing.

Is Kenneth Brunner getting mentioned? He is not being mentioned. What the fuck? He's directed a lot of Shakespeare. You fucked it. I'm done. What would you like to know about Kenneth Branner? I'll make it up.

Everything, please. All right. We'll just suggest it for the hat one day. Yeah, put it in the hat, man. You've got the power. You can just make it up pretend someone put it in. We can add to the hat. If we add to the hat, it only means this show goes on longer than it needs to.

No, we're just trying to get through it. I'm sorry, Matt. How long does this show need to go for? Well, at the moment, it's a few years yet. We are hundreds of topics away from finishing. All right, William Shakespeare. Shakaspiare. Was born in Stratford upon Avon, a market town then featuring around 2,000 residents,

about 160 kilometres or 100 miles northwest of London. The town at the time, as I paint the picture, was a centre for marketing, distribution, the slaughter of sheep, as well as for hide tanning and wool trading. The main thing was marketing, though. So their marketing of the sheep slaughter was on point. Oh, absolutely. They had posters. They were on Instagram.

They were across social media. They were doing flash mobs with sheep in London. Bring them down for the day. they'd be like, oh, look at this sheep. And then everyone would like join in and then there was 400 people pointing at one sheep. Imagine seeing that at the station. That would be.

That would make me want to eat a sheep. Yeah, you'd want to kill it and eat it. Yeah. Maybe cook it. And town the hard. Yeah. Wow. What a town.

It was a great time. It was a great time to be alive. The exact date of birth is not known for William Shakespeare, but it's traditionally... Is it because he doesn't really exist? We will talk about it. Traditionally, traditionally said to be April 23, 15, 16. But this could perhaps be because he died on April 23 and makes his life even more Shakespeare-like. Sure.

That he died on his birthday. Yeah. People actually, that's one of the reason they point to it. I'd be pretty pissed. It's around that time. Sure. You'd be pissed off if you died on your birthday. Yeah.

They're not going to be worse to not make it, right? Because you get to have another number on your and tally. Then again, I do like when things are rounded up nicely. So that would probably make me quite happy, actually. Jessica Perkins, date of birth, date of death. Bang. How good with that look? Especially if you're 100 exactly.

Oh, my God. If I was 99, I'd be so pit. That'd be dead, so I can't be that pissed. My brother got married on his wife's birthday. It was like her 30th birthday and they got married. And she was totally fun with that. She's like, it's great. But I'm like, why would you want your anniversary and your birthday on the same day?

She doesn't like being in the center of attention. We would never understand. No, you're right. She's a selfless person and I don't understand that at all. I'm born on my parents' winning anniversary. Are you? And I ruined their day for many of you. Because when you're a kid, you know, your fifth birthday is a big deal to you.

I don't care about my parents' 12th wedding anniversary. God, no. Fuck off, mom and dad. At least you mean you remember what it is. Yeah, I totally. It's very easy. But having said that, I often forget it because I'm thinking about myself, because I too, I'm a selfish child from the 1990s.

My parents... My parents... Jigs! We have the same parents. You go first. I was in mine, I don't know exactly when it is, but it's leading up to Christmas. Sure. I think they had a discount rate because it was like on a Tuesday before Christmas or something.

Yeah, nice. My parents got married on my dad's parents' wedding anniversary, so they had the same wedding anniversary every year. Creepy. That's the weirdest one, so far. That's the weirdest one. Well, because then mum had to, like, spend her anniversary with her in-laws every year. That's really weird.

Dad's parents, not that nice. Not nice, but just like, didn't like mum that much. Are they in a podcasting? Are they alive? They're gone. They're gone. Yeah, that's fine. And if any cousins are listening.

You know, people when they're dead, they're hooked in a podcast all the time. That's what happened. That's my idea. you're of heaven. Oh, now I'm going to get haunted. Or hell, depending on how much you like this podcast. Oh, now I'm going to get haunted. This is the only one that plays it.

Yeah, this is on loop. This is on loop forever. No, but it's just, it's just cuts of my laugh. And no, just cuts of your cough. Anything that's the same over and over, there's nothing. You couldn't, you know, whenever people say if you had one CD, it's like, which CD do you want to eventually hate is what they're asking. Yes.

Yeah. That would, that would ruin anything. Yeah. Awful. Anyway, sorry, do go on. He is born around April 23 because he's baptized on April 26 and that is actually recorded.

So it's somewhere around then. So he could have been, he could have died on his birthday, possibly. He was the first son and first surviving child in his family. His father, John Shakespeare. Is he a surviving son? Because I'm pretty sure he died. He was the first son.

Dave. I thought you were good at researching. He was the first son to make it into his 50s. Do I have to qualify that? Yes. Yes. He had several... I want you to read out all asterisk.

He had several sisters that died at 49. It's a weird, weird thing. His life is so fucked, day. That is fucked. It's fucked out. His father, John Shakespeare, was a successful glove maker, which is a little different to a love maker. I've written that.

And then I've also written, but porquenos lost dos, why not have both, am I right? Yeah, it's fucking right there. And when you wrote that, Did you like stop to pat yourself on the back? Like, well, done, watercule. There was 200 words in the report, and I thought, I've done it again. No wonder they say your episodes are the best, mate.

I'm fine. Willie Sheikh's mother was Mary Arden, the youngest daughter of John, John's father's landlord. John's father's landlord. It took me a long time to imagine that. Hang on. John's dad's landlord has a daughter, so he's like, oh, John, marry this bird. Oh, that's okay. Yeah, that's all right. Landlord.

But it sounds weird. At first, doesn't it sound like you're like, hang on. Yeah. Brother and sister. Yeah, no, it's fine. The family were quite wealthy. He's a good glove maker as well as a lovemaker. Not that there's any money in that.

Not that his kids survive. Plus 49. Shakespeare had six brothers and sisters that did make it, six brothers and sisters that made it to 49 or above. Shakespeare's father, although successful at glove making, was completely illiterate, and for his signature, just signed a drawing of a glove-making compass. I didn't say of a glove.

Just a little hand. No, it was close. It was a thing that you used to make embroidery on gloves. He would just draw that little symbol. Man, that sounds harder than writing two letters. Is there a name for a glove maker? Just learn, Jay. Like, what's a hat maker?

A milliner. Milner. Yeah, millinery. I wonder what a glove is. John Shakespeare, illiterate glove maker, love maker. He was also appointed to several municipal offices and served as an alderman, which is like a member of a, municipal council and many jurisdictions.

Just older. He was older. Got it. He was sort of like a judgey type person in the community. Oh yeah. And then he worked his way up. He became a chief magistrate of the town council before falling on hard times for reasons unclear to history in 1576 when William was 12. Gambling.

Gambling. I like to blame it on William. Okay. What happens when he 12? William was gambling. Yeah, that's right. He got into gambling. William started pickpocketing.

And then... History doesn't say yes or no, so I can't deny that. And gambling. Wowie. And pimping, which is weird. Pimping. Pimping. Drinking Pims.

Pimping. Okay. All right. Pimping. William's dad, John, was also prosecuted for unlicensed dealing in wool and mortgaged and subsequently lost some lands he had obtained through his wife's inheritance that would have been inherited by Shakespeare. It's the last bit back going,

Pim-Ping. Not funny to have lost Willie's inheritance. That's right. He fucked up William's money. What do they called him? Bill? Willie? Billy Boy. Will.

Billy the Kid. Is he Billy the Kid? Once again, history doesn't say. So yes. Billy the Kid. Although no record survived, most historians assumed that William went to Stratford's Guild School

or he would have learned Latin. grammar and literature so a bit of background and stuff Did he have to do Shakespeare? I roll He's like fucking Mick Bair Fuck Can we just do something original

As part of his education The students were exposed to Latin play So probably even more boring than Shakespeare Students performed them to better understand the language Although he almost certainly didn't go to university Because later on people would attack him For not being university educated Right

No, they would just believe him. Okay. Much like you do to us. All right. Even though we've all been university educated. All right, you piece of shit. I studied Shakespeare at university. You did?

I did some literature. Me too. And Dave obviously definitely would have because he studied drama. What Shakespeare did you do, Matt? I did The Tempest. That's one of his last plays. Yeah, that might have been the only one. I did Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet at high school.

Yes, Romeo and Juliet I did both at the school too And Othello I did it Othello, yeah, that's good one I did it I did it I saw Othello done next Next

What else you got Fuck it My mum and I went up to Sydney That might have been started this year Just to see Like the main reason for us going Was to see King Lear Because Geoffrey Rush was playing King Lear

Oh wow That would be cool So we went up and saw Geoffrey Rush Was it fantastic It was very good It's still Shakespeare So you're still like I have no idea what you're talking about

But he's very good But you're very good at making me not know what you're talking about But through his acting, I understood Do you know what I mean? You felt it? I felt it. I felt it through him, I felt G Rush and I connected.

Was that the one where he was naked? Nah, oh, a little bit, yeah, a little bit naked. What like you was... The fine little. Did you see his urethra? No. We were sitting like second from the back row though. Second from the back.

Maybe people the front did. Front row. I've heard Jeffrey Rush's urethra is one of the few things you can see from space. Is that not true? Once again, history does not say yes or no. So yes. We have to assume guilty until proven is innocent, as they say in the theatre. They do.

They do. They say that. That is a theatre thing. Listeners wouldn't understand. They're not theatre people like we are. Well, statistically some of them are. Yeah, all right. Sorry.

On the 28th of November 1582, near Stratford, the 18-year-old Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway. Anne Hathaway, star of Princess Diaries, Les Miserables, and other. The Dark Night Rises. The intern, her best work with De Niro. Very good. She was not. The Devil Wears Prada. She was not in Black Swan.

She was not in Black Swan. As I thought for a long time, get them confused a lot. Anne Hathaway, who was at a lot. Eight years, his senior, 26 years old. 26. Ugh. Imagine being that age. Yuck.

Yucky. Not much is known. And not married before then. Oh, what are you doing out of the way, you bloody pig? You daddy bitch. This family is quite piggy's to get married. To not get married. She's obviously an uggo.

Nobody married her before that. Ugh. How about of you a guy? It's cool to be single at 20. You're not. Well, unmarried. Not much is known about Anne's early life, other than her father died in 1581

and left his daughter the sum of 10 marks to be paid at the day of her marriage. In her father's will, her name is listed as Agnes, leading some scholars to believe that she would be referred to as Agnes Hathaway or that her father had no idea what her name was. I may have added that one. The ceremony was probably arranged in some haste because their first daughter Susanna was born six months later.

What? Oh, I see. Shotgun living. Sorry, I thought you meant that like, just obviously I thought like Anne's parents had had a baby six months later. I was like, that's not their first child, mate. Williams. William and Anne, he's 18. But six months later.

No, but she was like three months prem, right? Totally fine. Yeah, totally. How many months, Pram? Three, I said. Three months. Yeah, that doesn't vote well back then. I don't know what their prenatal care.

I thought you were questioning my maths, and then it made me question my maths. I was like, I'm pretty sure pregnancy is nine months, typically, and then take away, what they said six months later, so it's three. Is that what prenatal means? That's some sort of a baby thing, isn't it? All right. Of all people here.

Please, they do go on. Their twin children were also born a few years later. 1585, they had a daughter, Judith, and their son, Hamnet. Hamnet? Hamnet. Hamlet. Hamlet. Hamlet.

Hamlet. Is that a name? Hamnet. Well, apparently, that's your peat. I also enjoy that you. Go check the hamlets. Oh, we've got a fine catch. Many a haem this Christmas.

She'll be a jolly good one. Merry Christmas too. But what day is this? December 26th, fuck Christmas. Fuck your hams. Fuck them off. Fuck them off. Let them free.

Lem free. Rum free, Peggy. I also, I've got to pull you up there, Jess. You questioned whether Hamnet is a name from the man who invented your name. Yeah, but Hamnet. He can't invent Hamlet, but he can invent Jessica. Well, okay, how many hamlets do you know now? Follow up question.

How many Jessica's do? you know. They're not all going to take, Jess. You know, you've got to break a few eggs and make an omelette or whatever they say. I think that's relevant here. Hey, we can't all be Jessica's, is what you're saying. That's right. Sure.

You know, Paul McCartney wrote, hey, Jude, but he also wrote, what's one of his shit songs? There aren't any. He's a genius. All right, great. There's definitely some shit wings ones. There's some shit Beatles ones. There's some not great ones. Yeah.

Hey, but that's subjective, isn't it? That is. Hey. Just like Hamnet. My favourite new name. Prepare the hamlet. Then we get to Shakespeare's lost years. Years.

Oh. It's not Van Gogh. Less interested. It's not Van Gogh. But it does make him sound like he had an ice habit or something. Yeah. Just lost him. Lost a few years there.

You may have. Because no one has really any idea what happened for a period of seven years of his life. And then suddenly he appears in London. Wow. I had one of those. Seven years? Six for me. Just didn't do anything.

It's called high school. Then I appeared. No, it's not high school. It was after high school. I just did nothing for six years. Then I appeared on the comedy scene and have done very little since. Woo! Jess Perkins, the Shakespeare of Melbourne comedy.

I've always said that. Thank you for acknowledging it. What did Shakespeare written by the age of 26, though? I think Jess's big hits are still to come. Well, he'd written a couple. He'd written a couple. You're on my side there. I thought you were going the other way and you were on my side.

That's really sweet. I never know with you. You go one way or the other. Whatever seems funnier at the time. Sure. He had one, his first play at 25. Fuck! So,

but you've had your first, you've done your first festival show by 25. Troupe. Troupe. Troupe. Troupe. He could have been a schoolmaster in the country. This is what people speculate.

He may have run away after being caught illegally poaching a deer. It just sounds like scholars just sat around and made. made-up stories. But my favourite theory, and from here on out a fact, because I like it, is that he joined a touring acting company called Queen Elizabeth's Men after the sudden death of actor William Nell. And the death of William Nell, on 13th of June 1587, the Queen's men were at the beginning of a tour around the provinces, near where Shakespeare lived, and where Nell got into an argument with another actor called John Town. Nell drew his sword and attacked town

who retreated to a small ridge in a place called Whitehound Closed. As Nell approached, Town drew his own sword in self-defense and stabbed Nell in the neck and Nell was dead within half an hour. Oh boy.

Town got off in self-defense. Nell's wife quickly remarried John Hap... Oh, what a horny bastard. Oh, self-defense. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Protect yourself.

Oh, buddy. Oh, ha. Tell me again how it was your property and they were a trespassing. So town got off on Telfth offense. Nell's wife quickly we remarried and later on became one of Shakespeare's closest friends

because Shakespeare got the acting job. So everyone's a winner, baby. That's the truth. We're all better off without Nell. Yeah, fuck you, Nell. Nell. Nell. No, Nell. No, Nell.

No Nell. Death Nell. Death Nell. Death Nell. Yeah. No one wanted NAL. A reason Shakespeare may have been an actor is that as a married man, he was

ineligible to go to university. What? It was a rule back then. What? What? He was also barred from taking up several types of apprenticeships as a married man. You're kidding.

Yeah, so being an actor may have been his only choice. That's so funny. And he may have said to himself, success is my only motherfucking option. Failure is not. Mum's spaghetti. Something. Am I right, Matt?

Yeah. Did you get that young person's reference? Yeah, the reference from 2008. In 2002, body hell. Time does fly when you're old. White rabbit. Am I right? I've never seen it, but I've heard good things.

Sure. You've never seen your mum's spaghetti. Not on my sweater already, no. Imagine if being an actor was your only choice. Imagine. And then you nailed it. By becoming a writer. There we go.

Then in 1592, so we transport seven years, because the loss years. Shakespeare pops up in London where he's now a playwright with a few plays to his name including The Taming of the Shrew and Titus Andronicus. That's what he'd written by 25.

How about you, Jess? Fuck. She wrote that really good joke about heroin. I did, yeah, that was probably one of the first ones I wrote and haven't topped it since. Nice. Well, he only got better,

so he is William Shakespeare. I quite like your one about the helicopter as well. You like that one? I think it's just because you like the line of, mate. Oh, that's a different. No, that's the same joke, yeah. Mate.

What do you put the helicopter joke on the same, like, pedestal as Romeo and Juliet? Or she's not quite there yet. No, no, no, not Romeo and Juliet. It's certainly Titus Andronicus. Hmm, wow. Do you know Titus and Diannacus? I don't know that one. It is his most fucked play.

Really? Isn't it, like, fucked as in bad or fucked as in fucked? No, it's really horrific. Oh. There's rape and killing and people having their arms and tongue chopped off and people buried up to their chest and left to die in the desert. And then at the end, this lady gets fed her two sons in a pie and then chops it. It's really, like people are like, oh, you know, Hamlet, everyone dies at the end.

But this one is way more messed up. And that was one of his first ones. That's gross. Yeah. And then he reined it in a bit. Alistons would probably love it because they love the serial killer episode. They love it. Maybe one day I'll just read that play.

I'll do all the characters. You do? Yeah. Imagine that Matt and I just sit back. Every time you try and make a joke We have so much further to go This is only act of one It's gone for three hours

Jeffrey Rush has still got his pants on Get him off Jeff Get him off Jeff Get him off Jeff It's the musical Shakespeare Do you think people call him Jeff? I couldn't call him Jeff I'd call him Jeffrey Rush

Yeah you'd call him Jeffrey Rush I couldn't I'd call him Sir Jeffrey Rush Certainly I live in Hawthorne next to Camberwell where he lives. Yeah, I call him your highness. I often drive past the hairdressers,

and my girlfriend, points him and says, that's where my grandpa gets his haircut. So does Jeffrey Rush. Oh my God. He's just like us. He gets a $10 haircut. So exciting. No, he's not just like us.

He's just like Dave's granddad. Or he's, or whatever. Dave's grandfather-in-law. We know Shakespeare was in London in 1592 because he had enough of a reputation as a writer for fellow successful player out of the day, Robert Green, to take a swipe at him. Who's the fucks Robert Green?

Who's heard of that piece of shit? The best part about it is... Bob Green, fuck off. So Robert Green, he writes... He publishes the thing describing Shakespeare as an upstart crow beautified with our feathers. Which is... What?

It's pretty much... Apparently, he's... He's him criticising him as an actor trying to have a go at writing plays. That's cute. That's what he says. And he also called him a Johannes Factotum or a Jack of All Trade.

And the best part about that is That swipe at Shakespeare is the most famous thing Robert Green is remembered for now So cop that dick is Fuck you, Robert Green! Him bagging Shakespeare out is the only reason we even know who that fucker is. He's remembered 400 years later, imagine that. By late 1594, Shakespeare was a part owner

of a playing company touring, so actors touring around, known as Lord Chamberlain's Men. The group became popular enough that after the death of Elizabeth I First, and then when James I replaced her as monarch, the company became known as the Kingsmen. The official seal of approval and he started sponsoring them. And this made Shakespeare quite a big deal and very wealthy. Oh. Because he was part of his company that's backed by the king.

The group performed works written by Shakespeare and by other playwrights. And by 1598, Shakespeare's name began to appear on the title pages of his plays as a selling point. Oh. A bit of a rep. That's cool. It's a Shakespeare. He's like a Spielberg or a Scheinberg. Yeah, from the director of Jaws.

Et cetera. Et cetera. The men performed at the Globe Theatre in London, and I mean men, because all of the actors of his day were men. Sexet. So even playing all of Shakespeare's very famous and many female characters,

it was men. Often, for example, Lady Macbeth would just be a teenage boy. Dave, you know? Do you reckon I'd be a great Lady Macbeth? You'd still, because, like, you're a full. fully grown man, fully grown. I say that and inverted in, what's this? What do I do here?

Inverted comments. Yeah, thank you. I'll say that, but you would still be playing the ladies. Outterm spot! Perfect. Very moving. Thank you. Do they have awards back then? Because he would have won them.

How do you look in a dress? World's best, dressed, festive boy slash woman. That's quite a title. Good for you. Good for you. Put a wig on you? You'd be a real pretty girl. And in answer you to question, I look great in address.

The Globe was destroyed by fire in 1613 and rebuilt in 1614. It was later closed, along with many theatres in 1642, because I went through a bit of a period where they didn't like theatre, so for about 25 years, most theatres was shut down. But then Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, which is the one we have visited, is a replica as exact as can be, was opened in 1997 and is only 230 metres away from the original site on the Thames, or as Jess calls it, the fame.

I don't. I'm just never pronounce it. It feels like a real... It's not far. Yeah, to me, that's like, what's the point? It's not the real building. It's not the real site. What do you draw the line?

How many metres? If it's 41 metres, can that... It's going to be on the site, or they had to move it not with a 400-year gap or whatever. Yeah, sure. So it's the fact that it's a replica and not in the exact spot that bothers you. Yeah. To be honest, I was a little peeved that it wasn't the...

It wasn't... It was a replica. I was like, ugh. Matt, let's be honest, you didn't go to Alcatraz Island, you didn't go to Van Gogh's Museum, you would not go to the globe. I didn't go. Where is the globe in London? I've spent months and months in London. I never crossed my mind.

What do you do on your holidays? I meet the bar. You meet the people. In the bars. There we go. But I mean, it's about the people. You want to be there with the locals. You want to feel their culture.

You're not going to the tourist traffic. You're saying that Shakespeare is not the English people's culture. No, not at all. What's their culture? Their culture is going down, watch the APL at the Frog and Toad or something like that. And the Froggin' Toad. That's probably one of them. It's definitely sure is.

The slug and lettuce. That's also great. Or the, yeah, I think that's a real one. There'd be, you know, those sort of bars that have the something and something there. That's London culture. Culture, culture. Culture, culture. I'm from North London.

Culture. Yeah, a bit of culture. Big culture. A bit of culture. APL. What else is there? What else do they do in London? Some sort of like, they've got good music culture there.

Sure. Some live comedy. Sure. Did you do any of that? Culture. Oh no. No, I did. I saw some music.

Of course you did. Anyway. So some American touring band. Please excuse my uncultured, uncultured friend here. And do go on. Thank you. The uncultured swine. That's another pub I like to go to in London.

Well, the early 17th century, Shakespeare had become very prosperous. But most of the first century, Shakespeare had become very prosperous. But most of the unculturist. of his money went to secure his family position in Stratford so we can send his money home. And Shakespeare himself seems to have lived in rented accommodation in London. Wait, so his wife and kids are still back there. They're back there. And he'd go home for a visit maybe once a year, they think.

Oh, that sucks. Absent Dad. Cop that, hamnet. Yeah, sure. Shakespeare grew rich enough by now to buy the second largest house in Stratford. Second largest? The Buzz Aldrin of Houses. Oh, yeah. Did you write that down?

Yeah, I wrote that down. Hey. What would another reference be to a past episode that counts as the second biggest? Oh, the horse. Leonardo da Vinci's horse. Yeah. But it is definitely not the biggest anymore. Shakespeare bought lots of farmland and rented it out and had large stores of grain and barley

that people could buy from him if they were in need. Which makes him sound charitable, but then you're like, well, it's a business. So he's still selling it. That's just any business. A side business. If they're in need for the product on. selling. You've got a shop there, man.

No, but you've got to know, it's, he, Shakespeare needs to know they need it, not want it. You know what I mean? He's not about just, just lazy consumerism. Okay. He's like, is this a need or a want? It's a need, please. Go for it.

Take some barley. Have some grain. See you later. What's that? You've got some at home. You just want some more. Fuck off. He's very unpoetic off stage.

Which is weird, though, because all. the world is a stage. And all the men and women merely players. Right. Shakespeare. Shakespeare was... What was his? Shakespeare was fearful of death

and retired to Stratford some years before he died, although he did continue to write some plays. But they were all about death. More about death. Well, we started with that Titus and Johnicus said a lot of death. In June 1613,

Shakespeare's daughter, Susanna, was slanded by John Lane, a local man who claimed she had caught gonorrhea from a lover. Susanna and her husband, Dr. John Hall, sued for slander. John Hall. That is weird. What you want?

It's Darrell Hall. It's Darrell Hall. That's why I didn't get it. That's why I didn't get it. Every time. Oh man, I'm so literal with things that I just... What are you talking? That's not funny?

It's Darrell Hall. It's John Oates. It's not Dr. John Oates. Was he selling John Oates to people who needed them? Or was he just sowing his wild oats? John Hall sued John Lane for slander. Lane failed to appear in court and was convicted. Cup that, John.

John and John. In the last few weeks of Shakespeare's life, the man who was to marry his younger daughter, Judith, was a tavern keeper named Thomas Quinny, was charged in the local church court with fornication. Oh, Quinny. Wait, that he had sex. Yeah.

That's the charge. But bad, bad sex. He fornicated. The marriage went through, but it did not begin well. Quinny had recently impregnated another woman, Margaret Wheeler. Quinny! This next sentence is, Margaret Wheeler, who was to die in childbirth along with a child.

Oh. She died. Quinny. Just had no idea that I was going to say that. Quinney, I only say this, was thereafter disgraced, and Shakespeare revised his will to ensure that Judith's interest in his estate was protected from Quinny, her husband. Oh, brutal.

It's no good when your father-in-law doesn't like you at all. Oh, it's not good. Wait, so these are Shakespeare's kids. Yeah. I didn't know he had kids. You've been talking about his kids so long? Yeah, he had two twins. That's normally the amount of twins you have, to be honest.

Susanna? Susanna Hamnet and Judith. Remember Hamlet? So, hang on, Judith and Hamnet are the twins. Suzanne is the oldest. She's the first child, so it must be Judith and Hamnet. That are the twins. Remember the time Dave Warnocky asked if identical twins are always the same gender?

That was off the podcast and will never be spoken up here. He asked that. He asked that. I reckon, you know, you're going through the list of things that are identical. I reckon right towards the top. Sex of the child. Yeah, that's going to be the same. Shakespeare signed his updated will, which listed him as having

perfect health. He died one month later. Oh boy. April 16, 16 at age 52. There are no sources saying why or how he died. He was 52 years old but that wasn't young like it is now. Yeah, that's a pretty good innings

in that time, I think. Cricket reference there, there you go, I'm spoly. After half a century had passed, John Ward, the vicar of Stratford, wrote in his notebook, Shakespeare, Drake... Or like Dead Spear! It did feel like. He was leaving that kind of pause.

Rest in peace, Dickin! No one do you do to wrote that Drayton and Ben Johnson, along with Shakespeare, had a merry meeting and seems drank too hard for Shakespeare died of a fever they're contracted.

You pretty much died of a hangover. Oh, no. I hadn't heard of that. That's not good. Well, I reckon it would have happened to you by now, man. It would happen. I'm paying a bad picture of myself,

or you are. Yeah, we're definitely healthy. Yeah, we help you a lot. Drink responsibility. Drink responsibility. Edit that bit out. Drink responsibly. Because otherwise my message might be undermined.

It sounds like you have a responsibility to drinking. I have a drink responsibility. Shakespeare was survived by his wife Anne, whom in his will he famously left, quote, I give unto my wife my second best bed with the furniture. What a piece of shit. people have debated that for a long time whether that's a nice thing

because he gave his house to his daughter which the best bed comes with the house and the second best is still pretty good or that he didn't like Anne his whole life so that was because he's... Well, he could have just given a no bed then. No, but he had such a way with words that people think that maybe that was a slight

like fuck you, my second best bed. Well, that's mean. Don't leave her anything then if you don't like her. You know? He was also survived by his two daughters, Susanna and Judith, but his son Hamnet had died. in 1596.

How did Hamnet die, do you know? I don't know. Let's guess. A broken heart. The pigs ate through him. He couldn't hold them. Hamnet's called a whole bunch of pigs, but they're hungry, these ones.

They've eaten right through them and escaped. He died of bleeding. He died of bleeding. That's how we used to say it. Now they say something else. They found just like a couple of ribs left. Looks like he died of bleeding God,

I reckon he may have done There's no blood here at all He's lost all his blood What's a quick way of saying blood loss? Bleeding Blading. Massive. Shakespeare invented the word bleeding.

His last surviving direct descendant was his granddaughter Elizabeth Hall who was the daughter of Susanna and John Hall, not Daryl Hall, John Hall. But despite two marriages, his granddaughter, Elizabeth Hall, had no children.

For fuck's sake, Elizabeth. Otherwise, we'd could still have direct descendants of Shakespeare. For fuck sake. There's none left. That's a bit sad. She was the only grandchild. Yeah, and she was the last one.

And what was her issue? Was it like she was an Rago or she... No, she had two marriages. She had two marriages, but her bits didn't get the job done or... Her urethra was too big. It was wide open, but... Her bits didn't get the job done. Does the urethry are coming to play?

Please stop. Shakespeare is... buried in the chancel of Holy Trinity Church in his hometown Stratford upon Avon. He was granted the honour of burial in the chancel, not on account of his fame as a playwright, but because he was wealthy enough to buy a share of the tithe of the church for 440 pounds, which was several thousand dollars at the time. So he's got a big monument because he was rich, not because he was famous at the time. Wow.

A monument on the wall nearest his grave, probably placed by his family, features a bust showing Shakespeare posed in the act of writing, and each year on his birthday, April 23, a new quill pen is placed in the writing hand of the bust. Oh, that's nice. Was he right-handed? I think he was. That's disappointing.

All the greats are. I liked him until then. All the greats are. I liked him until just then. You got Matt Stewart, Dave Wanankeke, William Shakespeare. The list goes on. Well played. Well played.

It stops at this point of the table, but it goes on towards all the other greats. Takes a little detour past me. my seat. So now we come to William Shakespeare's reputation. Now, at the time of his death, Willie was rated as merely one among many talented playwrights and poets, but wasn't the level he is today. He was not even as famous as poet Philip Sidney,

who was a contemporary of his, who became a cult figure due to his death in battle at a young age. So he was a poet. During the battle, he was shot in the thigh and died of gangrene 26 days later at age 31. As he lay dying, Sydney composed a song to be sung by his deathbed. Okay, well that seems a little.

It's an overachiever. Well, according to the story, whilst lying wounded, he gave his water to another wounded soldier saying, Thy necessity is yet greater than mine. What a poetic fuck. That's just how they talk back then. They didn't have all that good words now, because Shakespeare and invented them yet.

You know what his deathbed song was? What was it? Ah! Oh, God, this! Ah! This! No, catchy. Jess. I think

did it chart back then? Oh yeah, big time. Number one. Platinum. At least on that chart they put at the end of the band. Takes a dramatic sip. Shakespeare's poems were reprinted far more frequently than his plays during his day. But his plays were written for performance by his own company.

And because no law at the time prevented rival companies from using the plays, no copyright existed, Shakespeare's troupe took steps to prevent his plays from being printed so they kept it to themselves So at the time they were like no we're doing this Yeah What's that you got there nothing? Nothing Put Hamlet back in the second

Just toilet paper Just toilet paper with lots of poetry on it Oh Was wiping my But there's Waping Mitoosh Cars at the back of the theatre just with a quill and parchment That was the piracy of the day Yeah

Can you say that line again Please squire Yeah No flash photography or fountain pens in this performance, please. Shakespeare was one of the first playwrights to have all of his plays published in one folio. This happened with the famous first folio in 1623, so seven years after he died, which contained 36 of Shakespeare's plays, 18 of which had never been published before. Oh, wow.

So it was a bit of a hot scoop. Unless than nine years later, it was reprinted due to its popularity. And at the time, that is pretty impressive. Cool. Like now, it would probably just be on the internet. it, you know. No need to reprint. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Save the paper.

In the 18th century, so the next century after he died, Shakespeare started to dominate the London stage with his plays. And they started to become a reputation that if you're good at Shakespeare, you became a star. Oh, wow. Kind of thing, yeah. Kenneth Branagh. For example. Camerith Branners' great, great, great, great, grandfather, old Joe Brownie Branner. I think Dave made that up.

What do you reckon? No, no, you trust me. What does it, does it say there if you made that up or not, Dave? Yeah. History will know, another confirmed or deny. There you go, because it's true. There you go. A quarter of all plays performed at this time were written by Shakespeare.

And on at least two occasions, rival London playhouses, staged the exact same Shakespeare play at the same time down the road from each other, Romeo and Juliet and then King Lear. And they still both commanded sell-out audiences. Wow. Wow, that's crazy. But imagine being like, oh, no, you're doing King Lear. as well.

But like which one, how would you make the decision of which one to go to? Which one's got Geoffrey Rush in it? There we go. Yeah, I guess that's, well, at first it'd be like you'd go for the original Shakespeare group. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then maybe in the modern day, you know, maybe they've got the Leonardo DiCaprio or whatever. And you go, I'm actually going to see this hot new thing. Do you think maybe you'd see both?

Oh, you could see. Oh, they compare. Yeah. Especially if you are going there to pirate the text. Exactly. It would be helpful to see it again. Yeah. Opinion of Shakespeare was briefly shaped in the 1790s by the discovery of the Shakespeare papers by a man called William Henry Island.

Ireland claimed to have found in a trunk a gold mine of lost documents, including Shakespeare's two lost plays. These documents appeared to demonstrate a number of unknown facts about his life that shaped opinion of the man, including a profession of faith, which made him appear to be a Protestant, and that he had also fathered an illegitimate child. so the public turned on him for a second. One of the plays was performed, and after one performance, William Henry Island admitted that he'd made up the whole thing. It was a forgery.

So everyone was like, oh, no, Shakespeare's cool. He's not a Protestant. Oh, my God. It's fucking weird, isn't it? After one performance of the play, they were like, I don't think so. That was not very good.

He was like, yeah, I made it up. I thought it would work. Sold some tickets, though. Yeah. Kenneth Branner did a good job. He did as good as he could. Now, you guys can imagine what Shakespeare looks like, right? Yes.

Yeah, the guy from the Gwendoza movie. Yep. Mr. Fines. With puffy pants, though. Oh, yeah. It is actually unconfirmed whether any portraits of William Shakespeare were painted during his lifetime. But several portraits have been claimed to be The Bard over the years. The most famous of which is called the Chandoz portrait, or Chandos, definitely Chandoz.

Chandoes. We chandos. Is it Nandoes? What are you trying to say? It's not Nandoes. Okay, interesting. Portuguese chicken. What, I don't know what that accent was.

I wouldn't even intending to do it, accent. You just lost control of you. I did. Slurring my words. Portuguese chicken. This is the most famous portrait of Shakespeare. Portuguese. Portuguese.

Also, Nandoz is South African. That's not Portuguese. South African. On South African, but it's Portuguese. Style chicken, that's right. Oh, fuck off. So, I mean. There's the fact check over here.

Technicality, I guess. It's South African. Yeah, so South Africa, isn't that weird? That is weird. That is weird. That's a Greek. They're not so much of the South Africa. They're not so African.

South Africa. Got diplomatic immunity. Everyone's go to. Now he's into character. Diplomatic immunity. Portuguese chicken. Portuguese chicken. That's kind of Dutch.

Yeah. I went... My... So it's either the two go-to ones to get into a South African accent, the diplomatic community or... South Africa. Hey, uh... That's for me.

To me, a grudge is just a place you pork your core. That was pretty good. That's not bad. Now say Portuguese chicken. Portuguese chicken. I thought it was getting better. One more go. One more go.

No, he's done it. Portuguese. No. It's like, it's such a fun accent. I love it or what. How would Michael? Kane say Portuguese chicken Michael

Kane chicken Well you missed a key word there Dave you ever go I'm Michael Kane and I endorse this Portuguese chicken You've got to have the run up with his name involved some out

He can't just go straight into it I just can't go straight into it Because otherwise people don't know what you're doing So this Nando's portrait It's probably the most famous portrait because it was supposed to have been painted in his lifetime and it was given to the National Portrait Gallery in London, which is that famous one behind Trafalgar Square that's free

and so it's really, really popular. It's not determined whether it is actually real, however, the National Portrait Gallery believes it probably does depict the writer. And of course they'd fucking say that because it was the first ever thing in their collection. It's listed as number one in their collection. No, it's legit. Just like everything here is legit.

Also in the portrait, it looks like he's wearing a pirate ring. Pirate earring. Oh, what a cool. I enjoy that a lot. I'm pretty sure in the Gwyneth Paltrow movies are on a pirate-type earring. Hello. What's that movie called?

Shakespeare in Love. Shakespeare in love. You've seen it? Neither of you have seen it. I haven't seen it, no. It won the Academy Award for Best Picture. I think I've seen bits. I was also surprised to learn that.

Judy Dench is in it. Oh, Dame Judy. Dame Jude. Love it. Big fan. Do you just call it Dame Jew? Because that is a great name. Dame Jude.

Dame Jude. Dame Jude. Dude. You're in a bad movie But we don't hold it against you Is it a bad movie? You also played M for a long time We watched it in

In the James Bond Classical Series of films We were studying Shakespeare And I enjoyed it at the time I think it was because we got to watch a movie During school You were know that we didn't acknowledge your singing

Yeah I thought it was kind of nice that we were, you know, if people turn their fade down to the left or the right, they'll be able to make their choice. That is not how this audio works at all. We are both all stereo. We could mix it that way if we wanted to. That would sound weird.

Yeah. Are the only two beyond confirmed, I love that, beyond confirmed artworks that depict Shakespeare, an engraving that appears on the front of the first folio. This is the iconic Shakespeare image that you probably know, sort of with that. You're pointing at us like, wear some sort of uneducated swine people.

You know that Bob hair that he's got? Did you get that too? Did you feel that as well? Did you feel really talked down to? Yeah. And I always feel weird when such a small man talks down to us. Yeah. It's like he has to stand up on his chair to talk down.

It's like, mate. Once an episode he's up on his stool. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? We haven't addressed that though. I think we have, actually. Sorry, Dave, do go on. It's hard to hear you up here. With your head and the clowns with all the other winners.

The only other confirmed piece is his funeral monument in his hometown, the one I was talking about before, which is also completed after his death. So in reality, the image we have of Shakespeare could all just be a lie based on one or two people's memories. Well, how he used to look. But in a way, aren't we all just a lie in somebody's people in somebody's memory? All memory is very fallible.

Yeah, right? And like the way I see Dave may be different to the way you see Dave, Matt. So if you and I were doing a portrait, it may be very different. Mine would be all Pompadour. Yeah. Mine would be all eyes. More about his big blues.

Matt at the start, you questioned whether Shakespeare actually wrote his own plays. Yeah, because I'd heard rumours, and I reckon there are a few people who are more passionate than I would be about this. It was like, the truth needs to be found. It wasn't all him. It couldn't possibly be. It must have been a team of writers or something like that. You know what those people are called? Those people are collectively called anti-Strat Forty.

Oh, fuck off. Really? Do you identify as an anti-strapfortian? No. No. I don't care enough. I think that's a dumb thing to be anti. Yeah, he's a guy.

I think, oh, I don't know. If it turns out that there was a team of writers, then I think it should be found out. But there's no, I don't get the big deal. Well, these people believe that Shakespeare of Stratford was a front to shield the identity of the real author or authors who for some reason did not want or could accept public credit. Oh, no.

I don't think anyone has ever suggested that, but that is quite interesting. That makes sense because they can't. So they're inventing these words because they spoke a different language. You wouldn't want all that attention because then people could figure out you're an alien. Because like, this is your life, would want to come in and do an expose. Yeah, who's your grandpa? Don't talk to him. Yeah.

Don't get near that ship. I mean, barn. Oh, don't look in the barn. You don't want people. twiggin. Yeah. Twiggin onto your alienness. Your extraterrestality.

Do you know what I mean? Too right. Do you know what I mean? Too right. Too right. So Shakespeare's biography, particularly his humble origins and obscure life, seemed incompatible with his poetic eminence

and his reputation for genius, arousing suspicion to some that Shakespeare might not have written the works attributed to him. More than 80 authorship candidates have been proposed, the most popular are Christopher Marlowe Marlowe, that's the guy I was thinking of Sir Francis Bacon That's the guy I was thinking of

The 17th Earl of Oxford That's the guy I was thinking of And William Stanley, the sixth Earl of Derby Lots of earls But only the sixth Earl He's only the sixth best Supporters of alternative candidates argued that theirs is the more plausible author

And that William Shakespeare lacked the education, aristocratic sensibility Or for familiarity with the royal court that they say is apparent in the works, which to me just sounds like more fucking upper class people saying that, oh, he was just the son of a glove guy,

he couldn't have written this stuff. He's a son of a glove maker. Thank you. Documentary evidence used to support Shakespeare's authorship, title pages, testimony by other contemporary poets and historians, and official records is the same use for all authorial

attributions of his era. So everyone else gets the same deal as Shakespeare. So you don't question whether Christopher Marle was real, because you go and look at the same stuff. But no such direct evidence exists for any other candidate. So there's no evidence to suggest anyone else.

They just think that, oh, he may not... He wasn't smart enough to do that. It's a bit of tall poppy syndrome, isn't it? Yep. And Shakespeare's authorship was not questioned during his lifetime or for centuries after his death. Nah, tall poppy syndrome.

I think he's just people that want to sell a few fucking books. Yeah. Sounds like classism to me. You know what? Like, I don't have a fancy education. Do you think people listen to this podcast and they're like, there's no way she's in this.

Not now, but 400 years from now. Oh, okay. 400 years from now, they'll be like, there's no way they wrote that. When people are performing these podcasts at theatres and reciting them in school classroom. Weird thing to do. They'll also, Nick Mason wrote that. Yeah.

He wrote all of that. Yep. And they'd be right to think he's smarter than us. They only credit him on three episodes, but... That's a very good joke. Considering what I'm about to say. Some prominent public figures that support that are anti-strap 40 and over history include Walt Whitman. The chocolate guy?

You think of Willy Wonka? Willie Wonka. No, what's the chocolate brand that they do the peanut slabs? Whitman, isn't it? Whitman. And what's this guy called? Walt Whitman. And what's the chocolate guy called?

You're thinking about Whitleys? Whitleys. Oh, Whitley's. Believe it or not. I don't believe it. So people that... Some prominent public figures that are anti-strap 40 and throughout history include Walt Whitman, Mark Twain. Twain.

Henry James, author, Sigmund Freud, Charlie Chaplin. Yeah, but Freud thought everybody wanted to fuck their mum. Yeah, that's right. Orson Wells. And the original home wrecker herself, Helen Keller. If you haven't heard the episode on Helen Keller, that makes sense, I think. If you haven't heard it, it makes sense? No.

It doesn't if you haven't heard it. If you haven't heard it, go back and listen to that one. If you haven't heard it, comma, that makes sense, I think. I mean, either way it makes sense. Look, I don't fully get why these are all people who should be busy with stuff. Yeah, you got better stuff. Why are they worrying about this? It seems strange to me.

Freud, come on. Come on, man. These anti-Stratforians mainly rely on circumstantial evidence, like similarities in stories, etc. But a lot of playwriting back then, they based little different things on ancient Greek stories and they passed out. Heaps of the Shakespeare ones. weren't they based on other stories? Yeah, other things, yeah. Folk tales and stuff.

Most Shakespeare scholars, on the other hand, rely on hard evidence, like I was saying before, actual things, rather than being like, oh, that sounds a bit like that thing that Francis Bacon wrote. He wrote all of Shakespeare. Yeah, it's like, why? So somehow Francis Bacon wrote a slightly different version of it and then a whole different bunch of plays as well.

Yeah, he also wrote Macbeth. They argued that his will was mundane and unpoetic and makes no mention of personal papers, books, poems, or the 18 other plays that remained unpublished at the time of his death. Would the real Shakespeare really write such a boring will? Well, it's a will. It's a boring document. I don't think mine's funny.

I don't have one, but I don't think it's going to be funny. To be honest, no, I'm starting to turn. Oh, here we go. No, I think... No, he just wants to be the opposite thought. No, that is a very good point. I hadn't considered that. The will was dull.

Why would he have written a dull will? he's one of them fancy writing boys. Why would he, all of a sudden he's got My final ever piece of work That anyone's ever gonna read At the very end I'm gonna like eliminate any sort of this flowery bullshit writing That I'm famous for

That doesn't make any sense. It shouldn't be you get to have my second bed It would have been Thou Dildodian gets my Dill Dildoian I don't know why What the fuck is it Dildonian? Well it's just shit

It's one of his words that he made up All right, I can you define a Dildodian? No, I can't. I'm not a Shakespearex, but I just know that's one of his words that he came out with Jessica, Dildodian, drink bottle. Lamp. Lamp. They're inless.

Deluge. Banana, later changed to banana. Yeah. He was quite drunk when you went on. What's this one called? Chagia. Pardon? Sorry.

Blanana. Well, maybe we'll finish in the morning. No. Right it down. Write it down. B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A. And there's an L-N-E-N-A-N-A. Blan-A.

Don't let Bacon get his fucking fingers on this shit. I thought of this. Hit Bacon's fingers off my bull-an-ana. Now, having said all of that, like most playwrights of his period, William Shakespeare did not always write alone, So some of his plays have been credited as co-written Which I'm more up for admitting than someone saying that there's a conspiracy of people

But none of the big ones were, were they? Did any of the big ones ever co-write? Well, earlier this year, so there's still a lot of debate over this. A new edition of the New Oxford Shakespeare named fellow playwright Christopher Marlow, you're talking about before, as co-author of three plays, the history play Henry the Sixth Parts, 1, 2 and 3. but so people and they only did that because they were able to analyze thousands and thousands and thousands of things that both men had written

and they found similarities in the writing style so that's how they would have able to do that bunch of nerds so that they didn't find that he actually like yeah that's super interesting there wasn't actually evidence like um they found a diary entry that said today yeah shakespeare let me take the reins and write act four of his little play he's working on having a write and sish with bill oh billy had a cup of tea bloody great good day That's really interesting. Yeah, that seems quite bizarre to me. That they've given him a co-write based on some sort of a science thing.

Yeah. You know? I don't really subscribe to any of this science stuff. I just feel it in me gut. I reckon you wrote that one, not that one, and that one maybe. He rendeth the lesson. Dildodians. Dildodians.

My fellow Dildodians. Well, we're going to end with something we haven't had in a long time. No. It's fun facts. Fun facts. Fun facts. Fun facts. Here are some fun facts.

He just did a cute little clap. Listen up. Children. His first play written in around 1589 when he was 25 or so was called the two gentlemen of Verona. His last play written. 16, 14, when he was 50 is called the two noble Kingsman. Oh.

But he had no other plays called the two something. Just the first than the last. Oh, I wonder if they're same dudes. What a life. Jess is that fun. That's fun. That is pretty interesting. Well.

He's, yeah. Hey, hey, you start low and you build. Yeah, absolutely. You've got to save the best for last. I scroll through my document to make sure the best one is last. Very smart. I've done that many times. A statue and memorial in,

Sydney depicts not only Shakespeare, but five of his most famous characters. Hamlet, Romeo, Juliet. Oh, okay. Portia and Falstar. Oh, yeah. Who's Portia from? Well, there's a couple, but the Merchant of Venice. She's from a couple of the place.

Well, not the same. He recycled names. Right, but this one, you don't know which one is. I'm sure it's that one, because that's one of the most famous. And what was the other one? Falstar. Folster. That's a great name.

Where's Falstaff from? big fat guy from Henry the 4th. No. Was he Henry? No. No, he wasn't Henry. He was Jack Falstaff. But I bring this up because imagine having a memorial in a country that didn't even exist at the time of your death.

Oh, Sydney, Australia. Is there any other Sydney? I don't think so. I haven't heard of any. There's a Melbourne in Florida. Yeah, there is. Wait. Because they were both named after the same guy.

Yeah, Melbourne, Florida. They're both named after the... The Queen's buddy was a Lord. Lord Melbourne. Yeah, that's pretty interesting that Australia didn't exist yet. And then we have a statue to them. That's just how influential is. Australia existed.

But not as Australia. White settlement had no. Yeah, that's right. Well, it just wasn't called. It wasn't called Australia yet, yeah. Sydney wasn't called Sydney. The way it is now. So, yeah, why did they do that?

They're just big fans. I just wanted to point out how influential he is. Everyone's a fan. He's got memorials all over the world. Oh yeah, I think people know who he is. I reckon he's got real good brand recognition. That was real deep. Yeah.

I reckon people know who he is. Orygan his brand is worth multi-billions. There is a famous scene from Hamlet where Hamlet talks to Yorick, who is a dead court jester, whose skull has been exhumed by a grave digger, and he holds the skull and talks to it. Polish pianist, Andrei Kyrkowski, not to be confused with the composer of Tchaikovsky, donated his skull to the Royal Shakespeare Company for use in theatrical productions

hoping that it would be used as the skull of Yorick. It was used in rehearsal, this is in the 80s, but not for performances. Until in 2008, Tchaikowski's skull was used by David Tennant, former Doctor Who actor, who was playing Hamlet in the Royal Shakespeare production in Stratford-upon-Avon. Oh, yuck!

When there was a lot of controversy around it, it was later announced that the skull had been replaced because people were focusing not on the play, but people were thinking, that's a real skull. That's a real fucking skull. Oh, my God. That's gross.

As the actor, I'd be like, ugh. But that was untrue, however. They continued to use the real skull. They just didn't want people being distracted by it anymore. So they told them that were just using it. Now, we swapped it out, but David Tennant was probably still like, no, I want this for...

Because I'm a weider. Oh, that's gross. And the skull was later used as a prop throughout the run of the production after it moved to London's West End. What if they dropped it? Oh, that would... Just get another one.

Glue the teeth back in. Oh! The Guinness Book of World Records lists 414 feature-length film and TV versions of William Shakespeare's plays as having being produced, making Shakespeare the most filmed author ever in any language. Kenneth Branagh actually stars in 1700 of those, which is more than there actually are. There you go, go Kenneth Brenner. Once again, imagine being the most film. filmed person in a medium that wasn't even existing for hundreds of years until after he died.

IMDB lists Shakespeare is having writing credits on 1,171 films. The first was King John filmed in 1899. 1899. Wow, that's one of the first. One of the first feature films is supposedly the Ned Kelly one. The Ned Kelly. The Melbourne, which is like 1890 something as well, I think. But it makes sense that one of the first things

would be Shakespeare. Did he get a writing credit for 10 things I had about you? Oh, the taming of the shrew? Yeah. He probably would on IMDB, I imagine. No, I would say written by, loosely based on William Shakespeare. Now we're going to finish on the words he created.

We've been talking, alluding to a few of these, Jessica, etc. without the show. He invented over 1,700 of our common words by changing nouns into verbs, changing words into adjectives, connecting words never before used together and adding prefixes and suffixes and devising words wholly original.

So someone that was just completely plurited thin air. Some of the words he invented include countless, gloomy, addiction, bubble. Oh, good one. That's a great word. Assassination.

Ooh. bet gambler yeah you're right hobnob oh fuck yeah he invented the bickies yum

hobnobbing with the the bickies blood stained that's how he died isn't it too word like it laughable laughable

lonely oh yes Perkins laughable and lonely the Jess Perkins Olympian failed Olympians The Matt Stewart's story.

Torture. Torture to death. The Dave Wonky's story. Mimic. Negotiate. And my personal favorite. Eyeball. Eyeball.

Tim. That's all him. That's really shakes. What did people see us before then? He just felt. He invented the eyeball. I didn't know. I feel like that I would have led with that.

With eyeball. I would have talked about his silly little plays. Yeah. I'll talk about the fact that he invented eyeballs. Shakespeare, the most famous optometrist in history. Wow. I'd love to, maybe we can do this on the social media during the week, but I'd love to see a bit of a list of modern movies that are based on his stories.

Yeah, that'd be cool. Because I just thought of, because I remember hearing about 10 things I had about you, but there must be a bunch of them. Now I want to go and read, because I haven't read The Tamie of the Shrews, so now I want to read it and see if I can find the, or pick up the plot similarities. You'll probably notice Act 3 opens with I love you, baby I never squat all right

I love you, baby Would that much be Nigel with the Bree? That's run to that film, isn't it? I know you can be overwhelmed And you can be underwhelmed But can you ever just be welled I think you can in Europe Go on Matt, give us one

You know this movie? I heard he ate a frog Or something like that Great, nailed it He's from Australia Hey, we're going paintballing. I'm in the... Matt.

If she's got black underwear, she's got it to be seen or something like that. Sure. Not true. It's just practical. Does the Tammy of the Shrew end with Letters to Cleo standing on top of a school building singing Cruel to Be Kind? No, I want you to want me?

Which song is that they sing? Oh, they sing both. Yeah, they do. They both ring a bell. What were their name? Letters to Cleo. So that is William Shakespeare, and we must say a big, big thank you to the man,

the magic that is Rowan Epstein for suggesting that, our first Sydney-Shineberg Deluxe package recipient of the Golden Award for excellence. Thanks so much, Rowan. Tip of the hat, thank you. That's something that people don't realise as well. Only big studs go into the Sydney-Shanberg level. And Rowan is no exception. Huge stud.

Muffin? Muffin. You know how else it might be studs, muffins or otherwise than that? other Patreon patrons. All right, so I'd like to do a big share-out this week, and I thank you. One of our original Patreon, Patreon, patrons, patron pledges.

And that is, I assume, The Man, the Magic, or The Man, that is James Sutton. James Sutton. Sutton, good egg. I was trying to go for Sucha. Sucha. Suttonly 30. Fucker better.

Matt, looked at me so disappointed just then. I just really enjoy. and your weird husky laugh. It's pretty great. I hope it never leaves. What's Sutton's story? Did you look him up? What do you want to?

Do we Google each listener? I'm going to type in James Sutton into Google. So here we are you. James, this one's for you. James Sutton. Actor, an English actor known for playing John Paul McQueen in the British Channel 4 soap opera, Holyoaks.

Holyoaks, I've heard of that. And also Ryan Lamb in Emmerdale. Oh, that couple of the big ones. Oh, personal life. Hello. He's an avid fan of Liverpool FC in January 2015. It was announced that Sutton had become engaged to marry his girlfriend, model. Hello.

Kit Williams. I told you. I did you. I said anything in there about listening to podcasts. His favourite podcasts include the weekly planet and do go on. Hey. It's a great guy. Awesome.

All right, great. So thank you James Sutton for your pledge. Though if you are a millionaire actor, you could probably pledge a little bit more. am I right? Holyox probably doesn't pay that well though it doesn't. All right, so thank you James. What's that holyokes?

I'm passing the laptop round to Jess Perkins to thank someone here. Okay. Okay, yes. Okay, we also obviously need to thank a man and a legend who likes to stand on mountains and just look off wistfully.

Is that based on a profile picture or just a feeling you get? Just a feeling. and a profile picture and that is of course the wonderful Alex Cossie Thanks Alex

Thanks Alex You don't have to pass me the computer Because I remember My Pledge's name Off the top of my head Matt just knows them all He knows you all Yeah no I don't need the computer

Because I remember them all off the top of my head And today's one I'm filled with pride To get to read out her name Because she's one of the bloody best Really? There's no doubt about that. Wowouses.

It's Hannah Scholard. Oh, Hannah. A scholar of the highest ard. Yeah, she's the best. She's one of the best listeners we've got. And I'm so bloody proud to get to thank her today. For everything she's done for us. Thanks so much, Hannah.

You are a legend. And the world. Remember that at times you had a cameo on Holyoaks? Yeah, remember that? That was quite a great episode. James Sutton and Hannah together at last. You too can contribute to our Patreon and have your name read. Who can contribute to our Patreon?

No, no, they definitely can. Bono! Now, now there's fucking someone who can contribute to have more than $5 a month. Bono. Oh, the edge has got money coming out of his bloody type-fitting beanie. Yeah. I thought you're going to say he's bloody urethra. Why would I say that?

I would be distasteful. That would be a sign of riches, though, wouldn't it? Right on the edge of his urethra. Yeah, if you're pissing money, you've either got a problem or you're a billionaire. Or both. I'd say that's a good problem to have. But you too can be like you two By contributing to our Patreon

Patreon.com slash do go on pod Last, the weekend just gone We released our first ever Patreon-only episode And we're going to be releasing one of those every single month So get on board if you want to hear some extra talk And jump in before the 15th of December If you want to get a Christmas card With Dave Wonachies's toe print

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it would be so cool if you could leave us a little review on the iTunes we're currently at 69 on the Australian iTunes 69 reviews on the Australian iTunes which kind of makes me not want anyone to do it

but please just get us off that and get us off 69 style and we can just keep moving on with our lives I'd like to encourage you to simultaneously do 200 reviews, so we are 269. I think that would be a much cooler number. Why?

269. 269. 269. That'll be cool. Yeah, okay. And we get 200 fucking reviews out of it. No, that's definitely, that'll definitely help for sure. So if you guys could get together, all 200 of you,

and just go reviewing. There are more than 200 of you, so why do we only have 69 reviews? We should have 2069. And that's only just the start. 2 million. No, 69 million. All he can do is undersell or overseller number.

Just did not have any inclination to go or anything accurate there, which I like. I'm playing it close to his chest. That's right. Of the 69 million listeners. We have. Thank you very much for listening. And until next week, I will say,

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