Do Go On - 65 - The Roswell Conspiracy

Episode Date: January 18, 2017

Dave reports on the most famous UFO incident of the 20th Century. But did aliens really crash land in the New Mexico desert? And did the US Government really try and cover it up? Whilst trying to answer these questions, Dave introduces a weird new character, Matt wants to party with a 'ufologist' named Stanton 'Fried-man' and Jess does not want to give a confession. Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amana, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to DoGo on. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm joined by the greatest people I know. And that is Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. That's really sweet, Dave.

And that's the first time you've gone to me first in quite a while. So that is nice. I started thinking I became second banana. Wait, a third banana. Does that make you... Number one banana. Even great. Number one banana.

It's fun to say, say it. Number one banana. Number one banana, number one banana, number one banana, number one banana, number two banana, number two banana, number two banana, number two banana. Oh, that's good fun. We have fun here at Duke. We're having a good time. Jess? Yes.

You well? I'm hot. I've been whinging about it for a couple of weeks. I'm hot. Summer just seems to go for a three-month block. It's so weird, isn't it? Number two banana. Number two banana.

Number one banana. Number one-wana. Wait, you sing number two, I'd be number three then. Number two banana Number two banana Number three banana Number three banana Number two banana

Can this episode be called The banana trio Somebody please Photoshop our faces onto some bananas Oh that'd be fun Real comic heroes

I'm looking at you Yeah Real Comic Heroes podcast You guys Photoshop guns Please Make us bananas Also I mean

You've got your own lives And shit to do So I'm sorry to keep giving you work. You do whatever you want to do. If you want to go for it. If you don't, totally fine. I get it.

Oh, boy. I'm very hot. It is still quite warm. I mean, I did request Matt to install air conditioning into the podcast studio. He told me it would cost him multiple thousands. Yeah, it's weird that he didn't want to fork out for that. Why would you not want to pay on our behalf, man? I just don't get it.

No, he's weird. He's so weird. He's so random. So random. He's so random. Matt, you're so random. I'm very random. What are you?

So random. Excuse me? So random. Thank you. Like when he does those things, he's impression. Fashion. Fashion. Fashion.

So random. You can always hear his teeth click in the middle like fashion. Yeah. Fashion chips. Fashion. Fashion chips. Fashion chips. Yeah.

High-end couture chips. Oh, man. Sorry. That's funny. Hey, Dave. Why don't we just get straight into it? We know that your reports are the last. longest of anyone's.

But this week, it's not a super long one. I will tell you that. So if you got any confessions, you want to get out there? I don't want to get any confessions. I want to hear your questions. Yeah, come on. Give us one confession each.

Quick one. All right, I'll confess something. You go first. My girlfriend tells me that I shouldn't wear shorts because I have two thin legs. You've got too thin legs. Too thinner legs. I mean... That's mean.

It's hot. You can wear shorts. Thank you. That's not really a confession. I've never told anyone that before. But imagine if you turned around and were like, you can't wear shorts. That feels a bit rough. That'd be fucked, you know?

Oh look, I wear him anyway. I don't care. I'm my own man. Yeah, good boy. I think thin legs are good in shorts. Often. Thanks. Can I put you down as...

Yeah, you can put me down as a reference. I don't care if you've got big chunky legs. I don't care if you've got tree trunk legs. It's hot. Wear some fucking shorts. Be comfy. Live your life. And, yeah, your partner, maybe be a bit more supportive of...

There's tiny little legs. On my legs. Tiny legs, Wornicky. Thank you. Confession, Jess I can't think of a confession You're going to make the number one banana go out on a whim

No, I don't want to throw you under the bus But I can't think of anything I'm a pretty open book I think of... Yeah It's hard to confess when you're wide open Don't put it on the spot I

I I No, that's not so good I Was it too real? I quite like Oh no Look, all right

I really I don't like parsnips. That's not really. Yeah. I know people love roast parsnips, but to me, I can't get over the fact that it's like a pale carrot. I can't get over that.

That's a weird reason. So I appreciate that confession. Because I don't eat it like it's its own thing. If I came to it and went like, he's a brand new vegetable, give it your open mind. Yeah. Maybe I would like it. But I cannot think of it as anything else but an old weird pale carrot. Sure.

Yeah, look, I said it. He said it. I'm an open book. Wow. Wow. There are some things you just can't take back, Matt. Well, fuck. Good for you.

Can you edit that bit out? I feel like I know you better. What I'll do is I'll beep out when you say the word pass stamp so they won't know what you think. I just can't get over the fact that it looks like a, you know, a pale carrot. What is he talking about? What is it? Oh. Jesse, have anything yet?

What about a little fact about yourself? Little fact. Fun fact. One for me is I've never seen a Blu-ray and I think I'm going to go to the grave. Why are we doing multiple for you? Well, I'm trying to solve for you because you need some thinking. I can. I reckon Jess has got an hour or so.

At the end, we'll come back to it. But for now, let's get on the question. Let's get into the fucking show. Freaking, let's get into the bloody show. Trying to swear less. Is that a news resolution? So far, not so good. You don't count bloody is a swear.

Bloody's not a swear. No. I wouldn't have thought Bloody's a swear Nah, bloody's not a swear I agree Okay And now I'm digging into the golden hat

Our first ever Golden Hat So this person to sign up to the Sydney Shineberg Deluxe package Via our Patreon You pledge a certain amount We have to do your topic

No matter what Our first ever person It was Zach Steinbacher And I don't know if you Remember a couple of weeks ago When I did the Shakespeare one We had to go to Shakespeare Because Zach hadn't

can put something in you, but he's taking his time. He's thought about what topic he wants this to report on. I like that. So we've got it. Zach, his topic relates to this question. That is question, what was arguably the most famous UFO-related event of the 20th century? Roswell. It's Roswell.

That was a too easy question. I couldn't name another one. Independence Day. Yeah, Independence Day. That was good. I liked that. Alien. Fifth element.

Alien versus predator. Buff. Yeah, from the hellhole, hellmour. The green children of wool pit. Definitely last century. We've already covered that one as well. Oh, yeah. We've asked you another question, if you guys are so clever.

I am. What decade do you think this incident was, do you know? 80s. No, I reckon, okay, I'm saying no like I know. But in my head, in my head it's like 50s. 50s. We're getting warmer? David.

Real close. 60s. Forties. 40s it is with you. Fuck. What one just takes it real seriously? Is that your confession, just that you are quite competitive?

I'm actually not. Are you not? No, I'm like not competitive at all. You're a good loser? Yeah. Because I've done it my whole life. That's sadder than the shorts thing with my legs. Like people get really competitive between board games and I'm like, no, I don't care.

I'm not competitive at all. I used to be way, like, I used to be competitive more than I am now. I think I'll realize at some point that we're all going to die. And board games certainly don't matter that much. That'll do it. What about board game world championships? Oh yeah, no truth. They don't die.

They don't die. I mean, that's the only thing they'll ever be remembered for. So, in a real way, they're the losers. Like that chess guy. Brutal. Brutal. He's in the Hilltop Hood song. Gary Kasparov?

That's the only famous one. There's a... Paul moves ahead like someone. Is it Kasparov? Surely. No, that's someone else. It wasn't worth it. Maybe a protege. They're all protejays, aren't they?

They're all bloody grandmasters. All right, so it was 1947 Roswell Incident. 47. A good year. Roswell, oh, what a classic. The Second World War's long over, well, a couple of years over, possibly 18 months over. But that's behind us. It's done.

Water under the bridge. The bridge still existed, but it was bombed. It was gone. It was gone. June 14th, 1947. On that particular day, on a ranch, 30 miles or 50 kilometres north of Roswell, New Mexico. New Mexico!

Sorry. Is it a New Mexico? Mr. Burns. William Mack Brazel, is a nickname Mac. Good. Who's a foreman on this ranch noticed a cluster of debris. A cluster fuck of debris. Oh, it was a cluster fuck.

I'm all right. I don't know of him. He and his son. saw a, quote, large area of bright wreckage made up of rubber strips, tin foil, a rather tough paper and sticks. A rather tough paper. Kind of like that waxy paper at the butchers? Oh, yeah. Just rolls and rolls of butcher paper.

But it was also a dead cow. Oh. Bobby Fisher. Oh. And then like Bobby Fisher. That's why you went quiet over there. Yeah, he shut the fuck up for it, didn't he? I was meditating on it.

And Googling. And Googling. Meditating and Googling on it. Bobby Fisher, yes, I do know the lyric you're talking about now. Great. Can Dave go on? Please. Dave go on. Dave go on.

Thank you so much. He's really taking this show over. Did you hear that first bit that I just said? Are you thinking about? Yeah, New Mexico. Nice. So this dude, he's seen a bunch of stuff. Ten days later, on June 24, 1947, a private pilot,

Kenneth Arnold claimed that whilst flying, he saw a string of nine, shiny, unidentified flying objects flying past Mount Rainier over in Washington State. But he was just a private pilot. He kept to him himself. He didn't tell anybody about it. He's not getting on the blower.

He flies privately. You're like, hey man, what's on for your weekend? He's like, oh, it's some stuff. He's not rude. He's not, oh, quiet one. Yeah. Bits and bobs. Just errands.

What are having for dinner? Oh, not sure. You know, maybe whatever the, whatever's available. Yeah, I guess. Where'd you grow up? Oh, all over the planet? You said that he's a private pilot or a boring pilot? Bit of column A, bit of column B, mate.

Private people. He's flying along. He sees a string of nine shiny unidentified flying objects, flying past Mount Rainier in Washington State at speeds that he estimated at a minimum of 1,200 miles or 1,900 kilometres per hour. It's fast. So it was flying like way quicker than anything he expected,

and nine shiny things. This was the first. post-war sighting in the United States that garnered nationwide news coverage and is credited with being the first of the modern era of UFO sightings. Arnold's description of the objects also led the press to quickly coin the term flying saucer and flying disc as a popular descriptive term for UFO. So that's where flying saucer comes from. He happened to refer to it as a bit like a saucer or a plate and then that just took off.

Flying saucer. It's funny that it's, yeah. It's weird, isn't it? Because it's a phrase, it's like, no, that means the, you know, UFO. You don't think about it. He's talking about, like, a thing underneath a teacup. Yeah. Flying in the air.

That is weird, isn't it? We just accept it. Yeah. Because you've just heard it your whole life. Like, this is, you know, 50, 40 years before you were born. Imagine, like, or 10 years before Matt was born in the 50s. Imagine trying to learn English. Jesus.

No. God help you all. Imagine if anyone you've used us as a learning tool. I reckon that would be a good idea. They'd be saying Bubados. We go through all the words. Sashan. Babados. Babados.

After this siding, over the next few weeks, there were hundreds of reported sightings across the USA because, you know, it took off in the newspapers on the radio or this kind of stuff. Even FBI director Jay Edgar Hoover, who's a very, very powerful man in the world at the time, asked to be kept in the loop on sightings. He was like, is this real? Wow.

Aliens were in the US conscience before that. A big example is the 1938 radio broadcast of HGU. Wells War of the Worlds that was narrated and directed by acting directing legend Orson Wells. You heard about this? Yes. The first two-thirds of the 60-minute broadcasts were presented as a news bulletin, so there's no intro, it just went straight into it.

And reportedly, there was a big panic in many places where people thought aliens were actually taking over. However, later critics have pointed out that the panic seems to have been exaggerated by many newspapers at the time, possibly seeking to discredit radio as a source of information. Don't trust that thing. I think you think aliens were real. Oh, just us. Print media.

Yes. We're not a dying art form. We'll be around forever. Yes, today's news tomorrow. But back in New Mexico, William Mac Brazel on the farm, he initially paid little attention to the scraps of objects I talked about before. But he returned on July the 4th with his son. Fourth of July.

Fourth of July, that's right. Well, he was a family day. It was with his wife and daughter and son, and they gathered up bits of the material. And the sun. And the sun. And the sun. Newspaper. Yeah, that's right.

Well, he doesn't trust radio. Have you heard about what these things do? Should be. I felt like the joke there with yesterday's news tomorrow was sort of exaggerating. And obviously, there's people out there are feeling like, but it's yesterday's news today. And I'm sorry to those people. And I felt your frustration. And I thought I'd just clean that.

Oh, my God. That was so not worth adding. I actually thought it was quite funny, Matt, but now you've undone all the humor. Yep, good one. So basically this family Back on the ranch They've gone back to the material The crash stuff

And the next day So they've taken some stuff And taking it back to their house on the ranch The next day he heard about More reports about flying discs And wondered if what he'd picked up Was in fact alien material So he drove 30 miles

To Sheriff George Wilcox in Roswell And reported what he had found So Hey Sheriff Hey Sheriff I've got me an alien box I wanted to do the Southern Act accent too, but I don't think they don't sound like that in New Mexico.

I've got me an alien back. Nailed it. Much better. No, it was a subtle difference. That was New Mexico the second. Where is New Mexico? It's above Texas. Max driven to Sheriff George Wilcox. And whilst he's there, wait, wait. Hey, hey, Sheriff, I think someone's knocking at the door.

I'm going to go answer it. Howdy, partner. What can I do you for? You look like you got a box or something there. You want to tell me why that is, partner? Excuse me, why are you drinking moonshine out of a clay jug? It's got three X's on it. I'm a sheriff's deputy here, so I think I'm going to tell you.

You got a bullet hole through the tub of your sideways straw hat. I'll be asking a question. First question, get talking. What do you got in that box? What in that box? What is that box? Are you parroting? me, sir?

Need to arrest you? Do I have to remind me that I impersonating a member of the law is a federal offense under the house to Louisiana 1941? You're having a strict? A member of the law?

Like, vocally impersonating? Yeah. Yeah, it's mean. It's a goddamn affair. You know I was born his voice and I'm looking the best of it. I've been holding him.

the people in the town. Matt, come on. The people of this year's town who elected me a deputy sheriff and I'm going to do my bet of all the Lord of the best of my building, okay?

Now, you tell me what in that box are not going to have to put it and kick it out of you. That's right. I can get filed if I have to. Oh, no, here you go, here's the box.

Thank you very much, you have a great day now. And see. No explanation. He's just giving him a box of shit. I'm sorry. I was just really, really, enjoying the voice.

I loved that so much. Are you impressionating me? Your face is the best. A cartoon character head. Okay, I'm sorry that I interrupted you there, please. So what has happened is

Mac Brazel has turned up with the stuff. He's shown it to George Wilcoction as sheriff. Sheriff. Whilst he's there a reporter named Frank Joyce rang the sheriff to ask if there was any leads on stories that he should report on in the that day. The sheriff said

you should talk to this guy, William Brazel. I think he's found something and he puts Brazel on. Max says, starts telling him the story. Joyce listened, but pretty much fobbed him off as a bit of a crackpot because he's talking about, I found, you know, these UFO stories are going all over the place. Yeah. Oh, another one. Okay, fair enough, whatever. Didn't think twice about the call.

Two days later, however, Lieutenant Walt Hout, the public information officer for the 509th atomic bomb group at Roswell Army Airfield. so he's just a public information. He's just pretty much the guy that, you know, he does PR for the Army base pretty much. Yeah, sure. He appeared at Joyce's radio show,

who's the guy that fobbed off the guy Mac, and handed him a press release. Joyce claimed that Hout owed him a story after helping give another journalist in the area a hot scoop on something else. So that's why he went straight to the radio station, gave him this thing. Joyce reads the media release and instantly knows it relates to the same story that William Brazel had told him days earlier.

The press release, an official press release from the US Army, stated that personnel from the 509th Operation Group had recovered a, quote, flying disc, which had crashed on a ranch near Roswell. The release was pretty vague, though, had no information other than a local couple had seen a flying disc in the sky around at the same time. Choice immediately gets on his radio show

broadcasting information and news spread across the country and then the world very quickly. And why wouldn't it? Because to this day, that is the only time in the history of the US Army or US government where they stay. officially that they'd found a flying saucer. Wow. Wow.

So the whole world's like, oh my God, this is official. The army have said, this is amazing. Oh my God. The army then had to sort of kick, you know, try and allay the panicky bit. So they flew the mystery material to Fort Worth, Texas, to a base where it was examined. And just hours later, the base commander came out,

held a press conference, and he said that it was, in fact, a weather balloon recovered. The press conference even featured debris, like foil, rubber and wood that's said to be from the crashed object which matched the weather balloons. We showed what the weather balloon should look like and it was like, look, this is this bit, this is that bit. The public accepted this explanation

and overnight the world's biggest news story died out. Everyone moved on and it was no longer a topic of discussion. This continued on for more than 30 years until the 1970s. What? That's why I thought 80s. Apparently what? It's a big story from this point on.

So no one's really thought about it for 30 years. sure. Apart from people that are really obsessed with UFOs, but it's had no more weight than any of the other ones, other sightings. But then in 1978, a UFO researcher named Stanton Friedman. Oh, good name.

Who, to be honest, he looks quite kooky. Oh, I bet he does. His name's Stanton. Friedman. Stanton Friedman. What's he sound like? Well, um, Stanton Friedman. So he sounds like Matt?

Oh, yeah, but a little bit more American. A little bit more American than American. I mean, I sound quite American. He's just a little bit more American. He's a little bit more American. I've always been told that I have quite a strong Australian accent. You do. But I don't know if that's bloody right anymore.

Matt's probably the... What do I know? Matt's the Ozziest member of the podcast, right? I mean, what does that mean? Yeah. Am I right, Jess? What does that mean, though? You're the Aussiest...

What does that mean? Sounding? Oziest sounding... In terms of the old... Pursuits. You love... Yeah, in terms of the old... stereotype, of course.

Hmm. Interesting. Interesting. You're basically a foreigner in your own land, Jess, according to Dave. You're probably the second most Australian, Jess. Are you the least Australian? I'm the third most. Interesting.

I'm not the least. I'm the third most. Okay. Glass half full. Well, a glass one third full. Well, that's worse than a glass one third empty. It definitely is. My brain hurts.

Well, let me tell you about Stanton Fried Man. Cool. Looks cookey. He's got glasses and sort of curly. Oh my God, he's so kooky. He's got glasses. What a kook. He's so kooky.

Oh, he's a real kook. What a kook. I wonder what he's up to. I bet he gets up to really weird, weird activities with his bloody kooky glasses. What a kooky man. He can't see without his glasses. What an absolute. Oh, he's a kooky.

He's pretty kooky. He's a good. He's a cute. Yeah, it's a kooky looking dude. It's also got a beard. Coooooooochoo. Oh, there's a bloody walrus. bloody egg man.

Oh, okay. No, he looks great. Actually, I'm into that guy immediately. I love him. If you had a line up of ten people, one of them believes in UFOs, you'd pick him, right? If there was a line up of ten people who I want to party with, I'd definitely pick him. Yep. Let's hit up the club, Stamped Town.

Stam! Fried man, fried man. Let's get fried man. That's his catchphrase. I don't know. I've got his catchphrase. He's a retired. nuclear physicist who in the 1970s turned professional as a...

Wrestler. Briefly, before coming a euphologist. I Google the term euphology, and it's euphology as a field of study has yet to be embraced by academia. There you go. But it's got ology in it. It's got ology. But it's got an ology. What more do you need?

Before he developed the catchphrase, Let's Get Fried Man, he used to refer to himself as the flying saucer physicist. because of his degree in nuclear physics and work on nuclear projects, this name never really took off. Much like the flying sources. Cop that, fried man. Friedman. No, but still come over cheese and wine later, because I'd love to. Yeah, he's one of those guys that you can party with.

You just don't want to talk about work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which for him is euphology. You follow the classic rules with Starmac. No religion, no politics. No UFOs And what's left? Pop culture

How strong are your glasses? Movies. Arm wrestling? I bet he'd win. He's a wrestler. Yeah, he would win. That's kind of work that. But I mean, what a thrill to get beaten by the fried man.

By the nuclear physicist himself. What an honour. Real honour. But I mean, the flying saucer physicist himself. That was what his wrestling name was as well. Anyway, in 1978, fried man, sure is Friedman, but Fridayman is much more fun to say, was introduced to now retired

Major Jesse Marcell. Jesse. Jesse. Jesse. That's a good name. Jesse Marcel is a great name. Don't know if I'd trust a guy called Jesse Marcel? Definitely not, but I like his name.

I think he'd be fun to hang out with me, but you wouldn't rely on him. He'd be duplicitous. If I met the perfect man, but his name was Jesse. Oh, is that a deal breaker? We're done. Oh, because of Jess and Jesse. Jess and Jesse.

I didn't even think. I just thought you were. He could go by his second name. I mean, you change your name to Bob by Deedpole as well. That's true. Bob and Jesse's nice, actually. Yeah, all right. You're back on, babe.

You're back on with retired Jesse Major Jesse Marcel? Marcel, and then I be Jess. Who was already retired in 1978. Yeah. Hot. Yeah. So Jesse Marcel, Jess's fiancé,

is the intelligence officer who collected debris from the crash site on the ranch. I'm so proud of him. Marcel declared that there was a cover-up this is when he's talking to fried man and that the weather balloon material shown at the press conference

was in fact swapped with the real material he said the real material that he'd found on that day was not from this planet oh okay fried man fried man is like

six to midnight he is he's got a major six to midnight he's major he's got a major Marcel he's Marcel in his pants

that's what I'm saying he's got a major He's got a boner. His erection is bulging, Jess. Yeah, guys, I've got it. Because he's attracted to UFO. He's got a real stiffy in his dick pants. Yep.

No, I... His dick is. Yeah. Because when a man gets attracted to something, it fills with blood. I'm aware. Is there only three words? It's stiffy, boner and major muscle? Hard on.

Hard on. Hard on. How is four? A fat. He's on a fat. He's cracked a fat. What? Well, like, it's bloody like the, uh, the, um...

He doesn't like back in your day. And how many words are for snow? Or is that a myth? It's probably a myth, isn't it? He's a myth. Must I recall that it was he and one other plain clothes officer that collected the material and put it in several sacks. He claimed the foil part that he collected was unlike anything he'd ever seen. He said it couldn't be folded or turned.

When he scrunched the foil, it automatically unscrunched itself and went flat again. He also claimed that it had strange alien-like symbols on it. Oh, how does he know what alien-like symbols are like that? Zodiac. Zodiac. This is pre-Zodiac. Unless he's been going since the 40s. Oh.

No, I don't think so. Marcel even took some material home to show his 11-year-old son, Jesse Jr. Oh, come on. If you're at work collecting alien material for the army, you don't take it home to show your son. I've got to show my son this. He was so excited by what he had that he woke up the boy, Jesse Jr., just to show him. The boy remembers his father saying, I think this is part of a flying saucer. Jesse Jr., however, did not witness the foil behaving in strange ways.

He did, however, see strange symbols on it, though, saying they looked like flowers. Flowers. The alien-like symbol. Sure. Floral. Interesting. Classic aliens. But it was the 70s. A bouquet.

Paisley. It was the 40s. It was the 40s. It was the 40s. The 70s recalling 40s. Paisley. In alien fashion, 40s was similar to Earth. Yeah, they were 30 years ahead at least.

I don't imagine what they're wearing now. We can't even, that's why they're so ahead. Can't even. There were other witnesses at the time that saw what they called a saucer. One of those is Jim Ragsdale, who was a truck driver living in Carlsbad at the time of the Roswell incident, not far away. Carl's not so bad. Oh, Jess. No.

I like the idea that someone named a town after someone they didn't like. What are you going to call this one, mate? Carl's bad. Bad, bad, Carl. No, Carl's bad. That's better. Go with the first one. Carl's bad.

I don't like Carlsville. I hate Carl. Cullington. Carl, you big fucko. Carl took my wife and now I've got nothing to live for. Town. It's either that or Carl's bed Your choice

I don't even care anymore I don't even care Just fuck Carl Carl's not allowed to live here Can we make that a law? I'm just naming it I'm not the law Long story short

Fuck off Carl So Jim's ragged Jim Ragsdale was a truck driver Living in Carlsbad At the time of the incident Jim and his girlfriend Trudy Trulove No

No Trudy True love One of the best names One of the best names on the podcast True to true love. Well, they definitely were in true love because they were lying in the back of his pickup truck quote, buck naked,

drinking beer and having a good old time when all hell break loose. So you're doing, going back to it. All hell bright lows. Oh, hell no. What's this face? I don't like this one at all. This is just all bottom teeth.

I don't want anything. that I said to be recorded and written down on this goddamn podcast. So, am I saying that right? Who are we talking about, who's this now? Is this Trudy? Could you tell us your name? Is this the fuck? Sir, please.

Who are we speaking to now? I'm going to please the fifth and say no comment to any question unless you ask me what kind of cup of coffee I want, and then I'm going to ask for a soy latte. Okay, we'll get you a sore latte. Can we just ask who are we talking to? Who are you? I'm having an episode.

I was in bed and now I'm here. Do you have any idea? I don't know. What year is it? You're there. What day is it? Well, today it's Christmas day. What the fuck?

Oh, yes, it's like Christmas day. The calendar says it's January, you my fucking. What is? Is this the people in the back of the car? I don't know. That was the sheriff. The sheriff's back. The sheriff's back.

The sheriff's assistant. Why was his face so weird? I thought it was a deputy sheriff's sheriff. That's not really a sheriff. The deputy sheriff. No, the deputy sheriff. Look, I just sometimes channel these characters. They take over me. I don't do them. Are you the...

Are you the... Okay. Well, anyway. That's beautiful. Thank you. Why didn't the sheriff want to identify himself? Why the fuck is my goddamn soy latte? That's a good point. It's a good question. Good question. Look at the man's soy latte. It's very warm.

There's such drinks. But back to Roswell. Oh. Jim and his girlfriend is true love. They're buck naked in the back of his. his pickup having a good old time. He claimed... Good old time.

I'm not even trying to do it anymore. He claimed that he saw a spaceship crash 50 miles northwest of Roswell. He signed an affidavit and said the military quickly arrived, removed the spaceship and its dead alien crew. They put the ship on a flatbed truck

and the aliens, who he described as small with large heads and huge eyes, into an ambulance and drove them away. Into an ambulance? Interesting. I would have put him in a wheelbarrow. He's got to wheel him Jess, it's 30 miles to the closest hospital I don't give a fuck

Trying to get fit You know what's a sort of wheelbarrow challenge He's an alien He doesn't need our type of human medicine He's fine He's fine He'll pull him up in a wheelbarrow Not in a Ute or any sort of car

That might be able to No, a wheelbarrow I've made my decision I'm sticking to it Wheelbarrows Ambulance does make it sound like it was like some sort of hot air balloon And there were humans in there Yeah

And the buck naked people were high And they like saw big eyes When they were just a couple of people Or maybe they were just those old blowy Maybe it was just the weather balloon Yeah And it looked like it was a big-headed human And it wasn't an ambulance

It was just a truck Yeah, it was a wheelbarrow Yeah, it's one of those fancy wheelbarrow ambulances But he thought he saw aliens, large-edge, huge-ey-eyed and grey skin. Side-note, this classic alien type commonly known as grey aliens or greys. What? And 43% of all reported alien encounters in the United States describe grey aliens. So that's the most commonly seen type.

That's interesting. And is that, like, that came out big at the time and then, like, people have been influenced by that? Is that the theory? I think a lot of it is sort of pop culture influence here. Or is it because they are all grey? Yeah, well, one explanation is pop culture. The other one is they all, 40, 30% of these people see grey aliens. Yeah.

I don't know which is the truth. But it, so this guy was the first one or widely reported? No, not the first one, no. But I just thought I'd bring up that they are the most commonly reported. Yeah. Out of all alien type. No, but sorry, I mean the buck naked guys, were they the first ones to report grey aliens? And this guy, I think I do get the,

the feeling that they were high as a kind Yeah, it does sound like they were pretty loose. Naked in the back of a truck. Yeah. It doesn't sound like the most coherent witnesses. He has since died. Suspicious? I don't know how old he was.

By a finger probe. Aliens' hand was still hanging out of his ass when he was taken to the hospital. In the back of the wheelbarrow? No foul play is suspected. No questions asked. No questions asked. He died doing what he loved.

Getting fingering up the ass By big-headed grey alien 43% of all aliens Ailing is done by big grey hands Yeah But back in Roswell Apparently according to other witnesses There was 50 to 60 soldiers squatting shoulder to shoulder

To clean up every single part of the alien ship And make sure they didn't miss anything So they're slowly collecting all the little bits The military had been accused of confiscating material From local media agencies And possibly threatening William Bucking Brazel, the rancher, who found parts of the ship to keep him quiet.

You stay quiet, see? Now, if you're telling about it by yourself, I'm going to come back here and I'm going to... I'm going to fire in your face. Dave, this character of yours is just wonderful. One character.

I just blacked out for a second. What happened? Every time he comes back, I have more questions. I just want to say that's so late. That's one of the best laties of her hands in this goddamn country. Thanks, I'm marked. Wow, they're very polite. Americans are really nice.

I love Americans. I've always thought so. They're really cool. The question is, if there's alien bodies, where do they go? Wheel Barrow. Oh, my God. There's only one answer, and it starts with wheel and ends in Barrow. I can't believe you have to ask that question.

I'm kind of offended. Well, many euphologists, aka Friedman, claimed that at least one of the bodies was shipped to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base a top-secret military base used for examining enemy aircraft found just east of Dayton, Ohio. Ohio! Oh, Ohio!

I just had to get Ohio into the episode. We had to get Ohio into nearly every episode. Hey, Ohio. In the 1940s, the base did conduct investigations into UFO sightings, that's actually admitted in public. And in a 1988 interview, Senator Barry Gry Goldwater claimed that when... Goldwater...

That's a great name, isn't it? You'd elect Senator Barry Goldwater. Big time, I would vote for Goldwater. Vote one for Goldwater. He asked... He said that, in an interview, that when he had asked General Curtis LeMay, who was quite a famous US general,

I learned when looking him up, for access to a secret UFO room at the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, and angry LeMay, the general said, not only can't you get into it, but you can't ever mention it to me again. Ooh, he got in trouble. But that is just obviously he is.

He just said that that guy said that to him. Sure. Can't be sure, but goldwater. Dave. This is, I mean, nobody's taking this podcast as a law, okay? So, it happens. I'll tell you, one person who's taking this podcast a law. That's me, goddamn.

I mean, I'm going to watch this podcast law. Look at the badge. Look at the badge. Look at the face. Does this face say you want to fuck with it? I don't fucking think so. I don't want to fuck that face, that's for sure. You don't want to fuck my face?

No, thank you. Oh, you're under arrest or insulted a police officer. That's not a thing. You're under arrest. Why I'm under arrest? Resisting arrest, that's too offensive. You're going to jail, missy. Oh.

This is fucked. Jess, I reckon you should do it. Should fuck his face. We'll do what the man says. No, not that. Just go. Just go to prison. I mean, he's a man of the law.

Will you visit me in prison? Just like you meant. So what I meant. I meant just stop resisting arrest. Sure. Well, thank you. You're kicking up a real stink. That's what I do.

No, if that played out like that. Stink. Perkins. I would have fly kicked that weird face sheriff in the head. I also imagine him to be about three foot tall. Yeah. Yeah. Fly kicking, like, that's about the height that I could, yeah.

It's the first time he had his eyes open, see, that character. Sorry, not character, that personality of Dave's. Thank you. Oh, geez. Imagine I couldn't control it. God, so funny. I don't think we'd be friends. I don't think we'd be doing a podcast.

Is this you control? it, Dave? I'm trying. I can't control him. It's a real wrestle. Why did aliens come to Earth, and out of all places, why did they travel to the New Mexico desert? Is that what you're asking me, Matt? Yep.

I wonder that, but, you know, there could be answers for that. How about this? The desert, maybe they're from a desert planet. That's a good answer. Yeah. Maybe because they've heard about the wonderful range of bars and nightlife in Albuquerque. Yeah. In New Mexico?

Nice one. Maybe they're aware of... It's the only place I know of in New Mexico. What's the capital of New Mexico? Oh, I assume it's Albuquerque. I think it's Albuquerque. Maybe they... What I would be guessing is they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

They're actually trying to go to Ohio. Far away. Not that far. Huh? Not that far. Landed in the right country. Oh, no. Oh, no.

We're going to get in trouble from the New Mexico listeners. It is Santa Fe. Elbuquerque is the largest population-wise. I know, I've heard of Santa Fe. There's a car named after Santa Fe. I think we should just apologize. I think we should just apologize and say that Santa Fe is the fourth largest city in the state. Sorry.

Santa Fe. There's a nice song called Santa Fe. There's a tripod song called Santa Fe. Well, there you go. And there's like a Hyundai Santa Fe. Yeah, so Santa Fe has got it all. Can't believe we. Is it the only Santa Fe?

Not important. Sorry, Santa Fe. It is important, and I'll be looking that up. No, it's a, because it was built by Spaniards this town. So it is. There's also some in Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil have some Santa Fe's, Colombia, Cuba, Honduras, Mexico, Panama, Philippines. Spain. What an empire they have.

The USA has many places, including one in Missouri, Oklahoma, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas, Indiana. Sounds like California. There are three in California. All right. Right, okay. What? One is Santa Fe Springs. One is Rancho Santa Fe, another, Santa Fe, another, Santa Fe.

I've heard of Rancho Santa Fe. I think that's in Bring It On. I've heard of Rancho relax, though. Ah, The Simpsons. That's in Springfield. Turn tape over. Anyway, back to Roswell. Sorry, Albuquerque.

Well, two years prior, this is why the alien people think why aliens turned up. The alien, euphologists. Sure. I don't mean to offend euphologists out there. I'm any of the euphologists. I'm any of a euphologist. them. You want to meet fried man?

I want to party with fried man again. A little guy. Two years prior, the first... Call me, please, Stanton. The old dog? It's been too long. Hey, don't cry. Maddie.

Said that with tears in your eyes. Maddie, hey. Come on. Big deep breath. Oh, boy. We'll talk about this later, okay? Not on the pod. Okay.

Not on the pot, mate. Do you know how old Stanton is now? 87. He's 82. Pretty good. He's doing well, though, Matt. Yeah, well, he's bloody 22 and part. What does that make you, 21?

Well, no, I don't party anywhere near. The Fri-Mans level, please. Steady. Stop it. Couldn't possibly. I was just trying to make you look old, that's all. Two years prior, so in 1945, the first ever nuclear atomic bomb,

a codename Trinity, was tested in the New Mexico desert. And some claimed that the energy from this test would have sent a signal into space that aliens could have picked up and fearing that Earth was about to destroy itself came to our planet. But because they were so far away, it took them two years to get here.

Sure. Also, there was an apparent electrical storm the night of the Roswell crash, so lightning may have been what brought the spaceship down in the first place. Okay. So they were hovering within our atmosphere to get struck by lightning.

Is that right? Yeah, possibly. They're just hanging out. Hang it up. Just chilling out, just watching. Just observing. So if you take everything at face failure, you're like,

oh, man, maybe there was an alien thing. But there are some problems with the witnesses. Oh, you're kidding. When originally interviewed by Friedman, more than 30 years after the crash, because so much time has gone past. Marcel? Jesse Marcel. That's right. The man

couldn't remember the year of the incident, let alone the month. So it's pretty hazy about the details. Marcel claimed that he personally flew the UFO wreckage to Caswell, the Air Force base. He could not have done so, for he was never a pilot. What?

So he embellished the story a little bit. He claimed in numerous interviews that he was not only a pilot, but he had managed to shoot down five enemy aircraft. What? If so, this would have made Marcel an ace, a distinction that certainly would have been noted in his military file, but whenever I looked into it, that had never happened.

I'm pretty sure he just liked the attention. Oh, really? That's weird. But it is possible for people to believe their own bullshit as it goes. You know, that's... That happened recently with that American... not that recently, even the last couple of years, that American,

um, very well-respected anchor, who was told this story over the years and it, it got embellished. He fully believed that he was, like, he was in the helicopter and like a rocket went past it or something. But it turned out that he was like a helicopter back or something.

He was quite a while from when he saw it happening in the distance. But he was like, he built his, he could imagine himself there. He fully believed it. He'd tell this story believing. And he was, was like shocked to find out that wasn't true but it's apparently that's some sort of thing with

your memory like memory is totally fallible yeah but i don't think anyone's telling this guy that hey you shot down five five planes remember that no i'm not saying people he started to believe it he's just believing and he's telling the story and your memory your memory is just a memory of the memory of the memory of the memory of the memory it's like a photocopy of a photocopy so it's not perfect so he i wouldn't be surprised this guy over 30 years you know took some seed of it being true and and it's just morphed over the years. I believe that.

I don't think he's necessarily full of shit. I think he's full of shit. You were engaged to him earlier on the episode. Oh, this is Jesse. Yeah. Yeah, but... That was before she found out he was full of shit. That's my taste in men.

Gee, I can't pick him. It's all bloody losers. Well, of the dozens or sometimes even hundreds of... Of losers, Jesses dated. All right, mate. We're talking about Roswell here. Hundreds. No.

Wow. How many cars have you been in? Of the dozens or sometimes even hundreds of witnesses touted by experts as corroborating Roswell saying that there was a cover-up. The majority are second-hand witnesses, e.g., they heard someone tell them what they saw, so they pass along. But they're like, or possibly at the time they think that they saw it, like this anky you're talking about, man.

Yeah. Many of the witnesses changed their. their testimony over time. I'm going to give a couple of examples. This is taken from Cal Kay K. K. K. C. All with Ks. Cal K. Koff. From the skeptical inquire, an online magazine that tries to debunk stuff like this. Brilliant. This is from Loretta Proctor. She's the neighbor of Mack Brazel on the ranch, who originally discovered the debris. She claims

she tried to bend, burn, and break a piece of the material he showed her, but she was unable to. Her testimony is used by crash saucer buffs to go against the argument that a spaceship made of unknown exotic materials crashed near Roswell, right? The truth is she's changed her story over time, several times. She's transformed herself from a witness who originally said she never saw any debris to one who tried to bend break and burn the material herself. She began changing her account after her husband, Floyd,

who made it very clear in early interviews that they'd never seen any material passed away. So he was out of the picture and now she can say whatever she likes. Oh. She's like, God damn it, Floyd. Another one is... You don't have any of that on the record, do you? Because, if you do, I didn't know what I'll talk about that. If you don't, nothing.

He's my story. Forget I said anything. It was a bad dream I had earlier. Sergeant Melville E. Brown. Brown is touted as a witness who saw alien bodies by Roswell authors, including Fried Man, others. The truth is Melvin Brown cannot be considered a witness since he died in 1986 and was never interviewed by these UFO researchers. The only proof that he was a

witness came from his daughter who first made the claim years after his death and no other members of his family support her claim. Oh. So the guy, her dad died and she's like, my dad saw that and a lot of people published it in books like he was a 100% witness. Oh wow. And another reason that aliens... Another reason aliens are the coolest. Here's a PowerPoint presentation. I think you'll find the top five reasons pretty engaging. What do you think about this though, Dave?

The government, like playing devil's advocate, right? The government want to cover this up. Yeah. And all these people have been discredited in the time since, made to look silly and like they've wired and stuff. Maybe the government is in a position that they could, make people look silly or convince people to change their stories

or to... You think it's the government? I think it could go all the way to the top. All the way to the top. Who's the top? Obama. Fuck off. You know who the top is?

Oh, well, maybe you're getting into my scarf. How did he get to... He's the deputy sheriff. He's always at the top. I mean, that was in 1948. Don't believe for everything you see, young missy. Don't believe it just because I've got it on a bed. He's pulling off his mask.

Oh my God. That's right. I am President George H. W. Bush. the older bush The older bush From the late 80s George Bush Sr., that's right And I'm still playing golf every Sunday

Wow That was a weird one wasn't it And that way So that's something Is the golf Is the golf relevant or is that just You just throw that into flavor Look

He's giving out clues obviously You've got to piece them together Zodiac style All right mate Jess Anything with the golf on Sundays Do you think that How does that

Is that telling us that aliens are real or not? Golf is a... A sport of aliens? A phonetic alphabet for G. G. That's right. And he was an army girl, wasn't he? George H.W.

So... Yeah. So golf? Echo. Yep. Tango. You have a big part of the first golf war. He was, too.

Oh, okay. He was. He was the president during that, I believe. Jeez. Louise were under something. Guys, we've cracked Roswell. Okay. But I think George H.W. Bush plays golfs on Sunday.

I think that means that we've cracked to Roswell. It's still very hot in here. It's so hot. Oh my God, I'm dying. I'm just so sweaty in weird places. I'm really happy with what we've just achieved there. And I know the answer. I just want to double check that you also know. Yep.

Do we crack it that there are Roswell aliens or not? Oh, Matt. She wouldn't ever answer a dumb question like that. Come on, man. Don't be silly. Yeah, because we obviously prove that they do not exist. Question mark. We don't give anything away, do we?

You are some of the best improvisers I've ever seen. Yes, and. That's improvising. That's improvising as I understand it. Try to say something at the same time. You know they have that game, the story you tell at the same time. Usually one person just jumps in. and just

and then the other person just goes, I am going to make the same. That's leading. You can't do it. That sounds, that sounds quite tedious. I'm sorry that we almost did that.

And we're talking about this for an hour. They do that for like a 50 minute show. Yep. That does sound good. That would go through waves of getting tedious and then being amazing. They're still doing it. You just want to end on a high.

Question mark. The end. Another award? Please, the best comedy award ever? Please, accept your award with a speech at the same time. Thank you for this award. I am very humble by your award. Beautiful, isn't it?

That is beautiful. I'm giving you an award for that. acceptance speech. Thank you. Oh, well, we'll have to do a speech, obviously. Thank you for this second award. Paying on my first award. I would like to firstly thank my wife.

All right, I'm going to have to take that last award back off of you. Dave, come on, mate. Well, you want to think your wife, want to think my dad Interesting, interesting We live for different people You live for your dad I live for your papa What? I can't have one in this country

I don't have a dad I can't have one in this country It's a weird loophole We're going all the way to the high court, baby I want to get a dad I want to get a dad You can't It goes against the Bible

What, but even Jesus had a dad. He had two. It was God. It was him. Jesus had two dads. How have I only just thought of that? 13 years of Catholic education.

Jesus had two dads and we can't have equal rights. It's right there in the Bible. Fuck. People do twist the Bible their way. Don't they just? Example, King Henry Gates. Yes, I am. I am.

I found a couple of words here. Anyway. These two words here look like they're pointing to me. I'm God. Look at that. I read that. first. Is that me? I think it is. Guess I'm God. Guess I'm God.

I own this Bible. If anyone said they read it first, I'll probably kill them. But I'm God. So it'll be fine. Where were we, Dave? Do you go on. I was going to say before, aliens are really cool. And also, aliens are very big business for

Roswell, the town itself. These days, the population of Roswell is 56,000. And did you know, fun fact, that Demi Moore was born there? Demi Demi Moore. Demi Moore. Demi Moore.

Who's got a big head and big eyes on a small body. And has grey skin and jets around in a flying saucer. How have we never noticed before? And used to date Ashton Kutja. Yeah, married. Married. But before that dated. And before that, Bruce Willis?

Yes, correct. Yes. And his round head, no hair. Was on that film about aliens? Signs. Says Yippie Kaya a lot, which I assume is some sort of alien language. Motherfuck. I was going to say that...

Great Christmas movie. But in Roswell, the best Christmas film, Die Hard. The ultimate Christmas film. Is that Christmas? And it was a month ago, Christmas, but I'm already, I reckon a month ago means only 11 months still Christmas. I'm going to start watching my favourite Christmas movie, Die Hard. Soon. Real soon.

I might pull it out tonight. Okay. Getting that Christmas cheer. Yeah. I can already hear them sleigh bells jingling. Ring tingling, too, as well. Come on. It's a lovely weather for a sleigh ride together.

With poo. Go on. Dill-d-d-lid-d-lid-lid-lid-lid-lis. Things aren't Demi-more themed in Roswell. No, no, no. They are UFO-themed, and they... She would be furious. She'd be so pissed.

She's, like, well-famous enough to have stuff themed about her. At least a bar, like one. Look, I've never been there, so I can't say there's not... But there's definitely not a whole town dedicated to stuff. This is UFO. There's UFO Museum. Yep. Multiple storefronts are alien themed.

There's alien graffiti everywhere. Restaurants serve alien themed food, including the alien burger. I don't know what that is. Mushroom. Yeah, fucking weird. Why are we eating that? Why are we doing alien voices? Why do we eat that?

It's a must. Sure. Parking spots are reserved for aliens. That's great. Let's just reserve for alien parking. Some of the lamp posts are shaped like alien heads. But my favourite thing I could found is a thing called aliens. You could sound.

You sound a bit like an alien trying to speak English sometimes. Maybe he's not the real Dave. I'm starting to feel like he might be not the real Dave. Got them big eyes. Huge eyes. But so does normal Dave. Got a small body. He's got grey skin, but that's again normal Dave.

Hey, I've got pale skin. Pretty big head. Pretty big head. Like top percentile Yeah Jig is up Top percent Top one percent

Of largest heads Yep That's big That's fucking big There's some weird heads out there I know mate I'm looking at one Oh

Nothing wrong with that Dave Well I'm not allowed to wear shorts Every head Heads come in all types Of shapes and beautiful sizes Okay Are you crying Trying to get a single tear

Aliens can't cry I know, that's robots. Yeah, they're all the same. I was going to say my favorite part of Roswell is a thing called Alien Zone, which I've read about it is essentially a big room with aliens in all kinds of bizarre situations like wax figures, like sitting on the couch. That is bizarre. Can you imagine?

Oh, my God. I couldn't. Sitting in a sauna. No, stop it. We are right now. We're doing it. We are. We are sitting on a deck chair next to a barbecue.

Get out. They'd never. They don't eat meat. I'm going to this place. Sitting at a table attached to the ceiling upside down. Oh, that's wacky. Now, this is culture. This is the kind of stuff that I'd go see in a town.

You would. And apparently the entry fees only $3. All right, I'd definitely. Yeah, but American. I don't know if I can afford that. Better save up. Yeah. But to save up for Alien Zone.

Come on, it sounds fun. Sounds so fun. I'd be up for it. We should go there. We'll do that on our 50 date. 50 state. Or 50 date. 50 date.

50 state. American tour. It's going to be a bloody whirlwind. Whirlwind? Well wind. So I just want to ask so far, do you guys... You're believing? I don't know.

Has aliens not won you over? Well, okay. I love it. You got to sit next to an alien on a couch, in a deck chair. Oh, wait, you can sit next to them. You didn't explain that at all. I thought maybe they were behind things. No, no, no, you can get on the couch.

You can get in photos with these things. Oh, fuck yeah. That's why it's really cool place to go for $3. That's amazing. Interactive. I don't know. I was an interactive like museum. But you're encouraged to take photos with aliens. Very good. Like Madam Two Souls.

Yeah, to make it look like your friends with aliens, I think is the... Well, I managed to take a photo with you. Ow, my heart! That you don't have. Ow, my human heart! How about the character Ross from Friends? He was like an alien, wasn't he? Wasn't he? He just couldn't fit in.

It was like it was from another planet. Oh, Ross. There was one episode where he... I saw it not too long ago. It was a repeat. Oh, it wasn't a new ep of the 90s show from. It was a repeat. A repeat of friends.

No. I've never. No, I was. Why would I lie about that? It was a re-wrought. Of friends. Yeah, friends. Did I do that?

Is that legal? Yeah, yeah. Apparently it happens. Fuck. And he was very worried and offended that his ex-wife. Rachel? No. No, he's it.

Carol. Carol. Carol. Carol. Whatever name was. Carol. She had organized a male nanny for his kid. Oh, no. A male nanny.

Oh, my God. I can't deal with this. I'm Ross. What? I'm Ross and I can't deal with it. Why was he upset about it? Because I think he's, because he's like, there's some weird, I guess it's homophobic. I don't know.

That's weird. What, because he wouldn't leave his son with it? I think, no, I think he, I think he, I think he, I think he, I think he, I think he the end he explained it, he was, he was, um, he was an alien the whole time. He felt, he felt threatened by a man, a man who was so in touch with his feelings or something. It was something really weird. There's so much weird stuff on that. The first season is all jokes about it. It's like, anyway, my ex-wife is a lesbian now. And that's like where the laugh is, happened. Yeah. Yeah. My lesbian ex-wife. But it's almost like it was supposed to be progressive. And now you watch it and you're like, ooh. Anyway, why are we talking about friends? We're about Roswell. Rosswell.

Oh, Rosswell. Is that honestly how you brought it up? I don't remember. I don't know. I regret it, though. I just wanted to ask, are you guys on board? Are you thinking... No, no aliens.

Well, on the one hand, it seems ridiculous, but on the other hand, seems ridiculous because that's what they want us to think. Oh, yeah. They've made it seem crazy. A little bit more. Yeah, hear this. So, the US government maintained that it was, in fact, a weather balloon for a couple more. after the 70s.

They still said, no, no, no. Into the 90s? Pardon? Into the 90s? They said that was the whole story. But then in the 1990s, they released the real truth. So in the 1990s,

the US military published two reports disclosing the true nature of the crashed aircraft. A surveillance balloon... A blimp! Hmm? A blimp. A blimp.

Well, not far off. It's a surveillance balloon from Project Mughal. Mogul. Project Mughal was a top secret project by the US Army Air Force involving microphones flown on high-altitude balloons whose primary purpose was long-distance detection of sound waves generated by Soviet atomic bomb tests.

So pretty much, the US were worried that the Soviets would soon catch up to their nuclear technology and felt that atomic bomb tests were inevitable, but back then it was really hard to spy on your enemies, especially in the remote Siberian wilderness where they do this kind of stuff. So basically you use a giant balloon, like huge, send it up really high in the atmosphere, so high that it can detect minute changes in the atmosphere

that would be caused by these atomic bombs, even on the other side of the planet. So that was the plan. The project was carried out from 1947 until 1949. It was very, very secret. The project used enormous balloons made of polythylene plastic. In the summer of 1947, a Project Mogul balloon crashed in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico. Oh, New Mexico.

Conspiracy. Some of the debris consisted of patches of a smelly, smoky, grey rubber-like material, which is consistent with the balloons used for Project Mogul. Much of the Roswell debris, which sticks metallic paper and strangely marked tape, is similar to material used for radar detectives that are attached to the balloon. to the balloon. So most of this is checking out. And as for the alien-like symbols or flower-style hieroglyphics witnessed by several witnesses.

Seventies, Paisley. Well, you know what people are talking about that a lot? Mm-hmm. Remember it was the 40s, but they said it in the 70s. No, it was ahead of the time. The manufacturer of the balloons used sticky tape to reinforce the structure, lapping it over the struts and securing it to both sides of the reflective foil. Pretty hard tech.

It was super high tech. The manufacturer was so high-tech It was a toy factory So it used tape with like kiddie flower symbols on it Oh my God They used that The symbols were likely baked onto the metal And the wood by the sun after it crashed

And then disintegrated And they left these symbols on the metal and the wood So that's probably Sure, that's convenient So they had 50 years to come up with a story And they came up with It's a weird sticky tape Kids tape

Yeah Just got some sticky tape Cellar tape That's so silly that they'll have to believe it. Yeah. Project Model Mogul itself was moderately

successful but was also very expensive well all that bloody sticky tape you gotta pay for them, right? Not just plain sticky tape either. Not cheap. They've gone for the glossy matte stock. The good stuff. 400 GSM.

Remember I told you that paper was pretty thick at the start. He was superseded the project mogul by a network of seismic detectors and air sampling for fallout so it was easy for them to detect the nuclear stuff which was cheaper, more reliable and easier to deploy and operate.

But Project Mogul is, by most experts, considered what was found on the ranch that day. So most people... I think it's just... Experts, I should say. Though there was a... In the 90s, they did a nationwide poll, not everyone in the nation,

but a lot of people, a large sample, and one in four Americans believe that something Suss happened at Roswell. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Okay. One in four. One in four.

Yeah. That's a lot. It's a lot of people. It's 25%. I'm sorry to take your flame there, math, boy, but... No, I appreciate it. Passing the flame on. No, take it back. Take it back, please. I'm about the math, please. Oh, God.

The final thing I will say on this report is in 1995, a 17-minute film footage purporting to show an alien autopsy came out. It was claimed to have been taken by the US military shortly after the Roswell incident. It was released by Ray Santillia, London-based video entrepreneur. The film footage. was allegedly supplied to him by a retired military cameraman who wished to remain anonymous. The alien autopsy video, have you heard about that, Matt? Vagely, yeah. Back in 1995 when you're in the mid-40s?

Do you remember reading that? Light 40s. Sorry, I was giving you the benefit there, 46. I think I was just going through menopause at the time. How was that for you? It was much like this. It was done very hot plushes. I was going to say you still get the hot plushes.

Because I fucking am I? Am I? Am I going through menopoles? No. Actually, I'm getting a few different memories confused. Sorry. I haven't been through menopause yet. Fetus.

Did you just have a fever one time? Yeah, I might have just had a hot fever. In 1995. Did you convince yourself that you were on that helicopter and then a missile went straight past you? Yes. That's just what happened. And I also, I'd just, around that time I stopped bleeding.

But that turned out to be a different thing. Completely unalided. Now, remember the alien autopsy. Oh, I know that because they reference it on the X-Files a few times. The footage at the time caused an international sensation when it aired on television networks around the world in at least 33 countries. Wow. Interviews with experts on the authenticity of the film included

Oscar-winning special effects make-up people and noted forensic pathologist Cyril Wecht. Cyril Wecht. Who considered... Go wecht. Who watched the video. Oh, get wecked. Well, he got wex because he considered the autopsy procedures in the film to be authentic.

Wow. But he stopped short of declaring the being on the table in the video to being alien. In 2006, 11 years later, Santilli admitted the film was not authentic, but rather a staged reconstruction of footage he claimed to have viewed in 1992, which had deteriorated over time and become unsuitable for use, so he had to reenact it. That's so. That's so. I had it.

I had it. And it was no good. And I'm a perfectionist. I mean, you could see it. You could watch it, sure. But you would have enjoyed it. I'm a perfectionist. The quality is not the best.

I can't provide you with this subpar. This new version, Dolby Surround. Hear that? Hear that? That's the squashing of an... Here, put these on, put these on. Put these on. Three-D.

Look at that. It's like that fake alien, admittedly. But it's like that fake alien is coming right off the table. Oh, wowzes. I'm sorry. It's actually my wife. She's wearing a, just wearing a silk onesie. She's a budding actress.

She's very talented, just waiting for a big break. I mean, anyway, I can help her. At the end, I mean, if you waited till the end of the, you would have seen when credits rolled, uh, alien, uh, my wife. My wife. My wife. Which I probably should have put her name down because it's confusing. But I forget what it is.

Who know how many times I've been married. Yeah. When he said, uh, you put this on it's in 3D, I just imagine that you put the goggles on and he's just playing Avatar. You're like, I think I've seen this before, but fuck, it's good though. Great, though. So colorful. You've really reenacted this quite well.

That video from the 1940. But that is the Roswell conspiracy. I'm not sure how we're feeling now and now if you've given you need the project Mughal. Matt, do you think it's even more suss now? Yeah. No, I'm on. It's the kind of thing. I'd be right up for it to be real, but maybe just the way you've told it has been...

Yeah, it's really your fault. In a lot of ways, you've told this and it's made it sound like it's... You've told it poorly, is what he's saying. No, I don't say you've told it poli. I've just told it. Biously towards the government suits and ties. And I appreciate their kickbacks. So the US government is our largest patron supporter.

They do the $50 a month level. Oh, they're amazing. They are definitely in the golden hat. And they hacked into our mainframe, the hat, found that... Our main hat. The Roswell conspiracy was in the... And their golden hat suggestion actually vetoed the other suggestion and they wanted me to report on in a biased way. So I had to do it.

Interesting. Interesting. You understand? Understand. Understand. I think Zach Steinebecker would understand. But Zach, that report was for you. I hope you were.

I'm not sure. Get in touch, Zach. You didn't actually say how you feel about the whole Roswell thing. Yeah, Zach. And if any, I'd love to see some non-biased pro aliens. Oh, you're opening up a weird can there. All right. No, I'm thinking that there's probably much more.

likely alien things, but this is just the most famous one, but I think it has been pretty debunked. Like most people, when they look into it, go, oh, what's that balloon thing? Right. And the US government were actually capitalised on the alien thing. They were happy for people to think it was an alien or the weather balloon, as long as they didn't, the Russians didn't find out that they were using that thing in the sky.

So they actually used the alien thing. They were happy for that to be, oh, cool, you can believe in aliens, as long as Russia doesn't find out. Yeah, sure. I guess that makes sense too. So they were happy for the lie to exist. That's kind of clever. Yeah.

And there is someone weird about what, why would the government, why would they cover up? Yeah. Well, I guess the answer would be that they want to, in the X-Files, Roswell, that happened. And what they've done is they used their alien ship to try and find out how their technology works to get in front militarily. Right. Yeah. And another show called Roswell? Yeah, in the late 90s, early 2000. Yeah, I used to watch a little bit.

You sure that's not what Zach wanted to do, see her report on? Oh, that would be so awkward if he just wanted it to be on the show. Oh, he's like, that's my favorite show ever. They made three series of that. Oh, sorry, Zach, I'm so sorry. It's like a teen drama with Alien Twingers. Zach, I'm so sorry, Dave let you down. Zach, don't be mad.

But Zach would be annoyed, but the rest of the listeners would probably think it was better. Okay, what's interesting. She just kick Zach while. down? Yeah, shit. Geez, I'm really sorry about that, Zach. Sorry, Zach. I never apologize to our listeners.

We know, mate. We've got to do it for you. Which I appreciate a lot. You're a pieces. Because I get to save face, but also I'm like kicking him out of the table going a quick apologize. I really don't mean that. I don't mean that.

So we'd like to say thanks to Zach for, obviously, the Golden Hat's suggestion himself. We're also going to say thank you personally to three Patreon supporters. People that's pledged and support to our patrons, you guys make this show possible. We can keep it going. every week. So if you want to do that, we'll, we'll talk about the link and stuff at the end, but we'd like to say a personal thank you to

three supporters now. The first person I'd like to thank. He's not the brains of the podcast. He's not the lungs of the podcast, but he is the heart of this show, and that is Dan Hart. Right. Yeah. Thank you, Dan Hart. I was like, wow. I thought it was a really sweet thing, and then I'm like, oh, no, it was just a bad sort of

playing words. Because I think that's actually true. And did you know, I don't know if you remember this, but Dan, he's a guy that I met down in Tazzy in Lonseston. And he was the guy who suggested we do a Patreon. So he's really the heart of the Patreon. Yeah. Thank you, Dan. He's the heart of the show.

He's a bloody legend. Thanks so much, Dan. We've all retired. And you know something else about Dan? What else about Dan? He put in the hat quite a long time ago. And when I met him six months ago, I'm like, Dave is doing your topic shortly. This is a six-monthy or something

I love that you promised I know what this is Because you told me that you're about to do it Here we go The Simpsons Where the fuck is it David? David look at me

David look him in the eye David You're what you David James Oh no No I don't know what you call me Dave

I'm not Dave I'm Sheriff Goldwater Assistant to the Deputy Sheriff Assistant to the Deputy Sheriff Bet you Sheriff Goldwater Look okay Maybe before I managed to take his badge and I got drunk on power, but really I'm the assistant to the deputy sheriff.

One day I'm going to get my own badge. But until then, I just want to say thank you, and Dave will not be answering any questions on the students' podcast topic. Okay, he's pleading the fifth. That's no comment. No comment from my client. The fifth isn't a thing in Australia, I'm afraid, deputy. I am also a lawyer.

You're an assistant to the deputy. You're not even deputy. You're an assistant. So can I borrow a stapler? Yeah, I can see you for the... I could be a Rachel. I have to talk to my boss about that. Okay.

Are you not even in charge? Are you not familiar with Australian law? The Australian law? I wrote the Australian law. You didn't write the Australian law at all. Okay, I exaggerate a little bit of there. Oh my God, I can't handle this. I'm well versed in the Australian law.

Are you? Australians are you young free. That's Australian nationalism. Yeah, that's not the law. I think that's rule number one. Rule number one is Australians all let us rejoice for we are young and free. A weird, a weird vague boast. But rule number one.

I mean, some of us are young. Some of us are fucking old as, and some of us are in jail. You know what I mean? Rule number one is treat others how you'd like to be treated, am I right? No, that's also not at a rule. Never hear you say amen. No, okay. That's the golden rule of Christianity.

We've got other people to thank. Okay, but I'd like to say thank you. Can I speak to Dave, please? I'd like to say thank you to Dan Hart. Okay. Dan Hart, you're my heart. Hey, if you want to thank, if you want to thank Dan properly, you'll do a fucking Simpsons episode soon. No comment.

No kind for Dan Hart. You piece of shit. You made Matt lie to Dan Hart. I can't believe it. I'm going to have to do it if you're not going to do it. I can't do it. I can put it in my pole. Put it in your poll.

Gross. I do a poll. I know. I'm going to do it. I'll do it. Great. When? Eventually.

Hey, you know who else I would like to thank? Yeah. Who? Sorry to interrupt, your fucking weird rant. Don't blame me for. liking out. Thank you. Wow.

It's really bright in here. It's not good. Somebody who has just always supported us emotionally, spiritually, physically that one time I fell over. The delightful Reid Wilson. Read Wilson. Thank you, Reid. Read. He's a big player on Twitter as well.

Loves it. Mad for it. Let's have a moment for Reid. One on Reid. And that was for you. A silent moment. Yeah, okay, great. Thanks so much, Reid.

I love where he's work. You know who else? This is work? Who else's work do you like? Chrissy Della. Chrissy Della. I don't have a great name. We sent out our postcard to Chrissy and she, I'm pretty sure she put it on her tree.

Yeah. No, she took a photo of it right next to her face or, look, we got a good photo from Chrissy and the memories, though. Hey, Chrissy's great. She's a Melbourneite, you know? The best kind. I'm quite confident. And I think even on the postcard, I might have even said.

this. The only postcard. We did like 70 postcards. 85. So, so many. And on one of my, yeah. This is the only one that I gave a direct plug for our

Comedy Festival show. Yeah, you plug, no. On a Christmas card. You plugged a few. Oh, did I? If you got a card and it doesn't have a plug for the show, yeah, I wrote that. That's not true.

That's true. You did a few, there was a couple that I wrote apologies on there because you had plugged too hard. It was, you know, it was crazy, crazy. But, speaking of which, Anyway, I don't know if I gave Chrissy enough love. I think you gave Chrissy a lot of love.

You give them probably too much love. You're probably like an overbearing dad. You ramble a bit too much, mate. Sorry, Chrissy. I would like to say, on that note, the Melbourne Comedy Festival is coming up this year now. It's in April and the tickets are now on sale. We'll be tweeting out that link a lot of times.

But if you'd like to, we'd love to, it's just gone on sale. We'd love to sell a first ticket. Yeah. Oh, that'd be sick. I'd be selling a ticket. Whoa. Just imagine. Just a Megan.

so exciting a manganese for sunday afternoons four different topics Sunday sash oh my god let's have a podcast and let's drink it's gonna be a lot of fun you've got three months to buy a ticket

but there's also season passes available which actually means you can come to all four or as many as you like up to four but no more because there aren't they won't be anymore and it's much it's much cheaper per overall ticket so if you want to do that

I don't know if you're a big super fan. Man, imagine if we sold a season ticket. If we sold a season ticket, I would just... And you should also come to all of our individual shows. Yes, definitely should do that too. Yes, I'm sure we'll be talking about those a lot more over the coming months. Yes. You can find out about those such things on the interwebs.

On the interwebs. On the Facebooks, etc. That's right. Which we can be found at Do Go On Pod on nearly everything. Twitter, Instagram. We do go on pod on Facebook. Do Go On Pod at Gmail.com. And of course, the Patreon.

But the more people that support that, the better the show can be. And you get rewards in return. We're not that selfish. Uh-uh, no. And also in all the social media is in our descriptions. You can see our personal Instagram, Twitter. All right, mate. You're just trying to get more Twitter followers now, aren't you?

Yes. You just cracked a thousand. You two have got more than me, and I think it's bullshit. I mean, I gave us an equal plug. I was more saying that so they could find out about our festival shows. But the other thing that we rarely mention, or we probably mention it plenty, but reviewing on iTunes is really helpful for... Yes, I know.

It seems like an uncool thing to ask you to do, but if you do it, it does actually help the show a lot because it gets us up in the charts, which means other people go, hey, what's this show all about? Then we have more listeners, and we love doing it. And, yeah, five stars is a good amount of stars. It's like Uber. Like, it's five or one, you know? If you hate it, please just...

I'd prefer to... Just don't do it. Just don't review. Yeah, exactly. So, therefore, we assume you like it. So just give it five. Even if you think there's room for improvement, just give it five. And in the notes, let us know how we can improve.

Well, just, no, but still make it. No, no, no, no. I can't handle bad reviews. They hurt me a lot. And to be honest, and this is not just from us, but from everyone. If you review someone on iTunes, there's no way for them to reply to you or to address the issue at all. So if you have a complaint about any podcast, just tweet them or something.

Because you can actually have a convict. We've got really off topic now. Especially, yeah. Especially if you want to... Hurt Jess's feelings. Yeah, cool. Go for it. Yeah.

Tell Jess to shut up and sit down and be quiet. Let the men talk. Do that on iTunes. Jesus. No, do it on Twitter so Jess can tell you to fuck off in yourself. Yeah. How about that? Well, so we can all tell you to fuck off.

You guys want me to shut up and let you guys talk? Not really. Great. Good. Glaber and agree. I'd love, whenever I listen back, I'd like me to shut up. Yeah, I'd like you to shut up sometimes too. I might do that now.

Okay. Well, as these guys tell each other to shut up, I'm going to tell you all that we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, thanks so much for listening. You are the best. And I will say goodbye. Bye. Bye. And goodbye for me too.

I must say, you have a good time now. Now I have to say goodbye again because bye always has to be the last. So bye. That was gross. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,

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