Do Go On - 71 - The Last Japanese Soldiers

Episode Date: March 1, 2017

We ALL know that World War II ended in 1945, right guys? Well a bunch of Japanese soldiers stationed on remote, jungle filled islands didn't get the memo... This is the story of one of those soldiers, Hiroo Onoda, who kept fighting for DECADES. Dozens of search parties were sent to find him. Surrender orders, leaflets and letters from his family were dropped, but nothing would bring him out of the jungle. That was until a young hippy went looking for the man that most people thought was dead.Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. I am Dave Warnocky and I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Hercans. Hello. Hey, Jess.

Hi, team. You are good. You are very good. I don't think he'd say hi, Jess. What did you think he would say? He'd committed to it and you couldn't bail. You weren't able to think quick enough to get out of it. I could never think quick enough.

You're like Ron Burgundy reading in AutoCube. I'm Ron Burkandy. Yeah, well, Jess is actually on Ordokey, which is one of the strangest things about this show. Yeah, it works. We've got to try and fit around her somehow. Yeah. Hey, Dave, do you notice that someone tweeted maybe last week saying that their 30 or 40 episodes in, they've started from the beginning? And they're wondering if you're ever able to concisely explain what the show's about?

No, is the answer. Well, at episode 40, I reckon I'd probably gave up about that, Mark. Right. I don't even remember you trying to do it. I feel like they've probably also got the idea. of the show by then, too. When was the last time I actually said, what we do on this show is...

Oh, yeah, actually. I probably should, but just in case... Yeah, well, I'm just out of curiosity. What is it we do on this show, Dave? What we do is we take a little bit of sugar. That's Matt. A little bit of spice. That's Jess.

A little bit of everything nice. Also, Jess. Then I come along and try and explain the show. And what I say is, hello, welcome to do-go on the podcast show where each of us do a report, but not at the same time. Wow, it's been a while.

Alternating weeks and the other two sit back and chat over them. Then at the end of the episode, there's fun facts sometimes. It was like you were chatting over yourself then. That was nice. I was trying to give like a little demonstration of what they will expect for the next hour. Thank you for calling me Spice as well. I like that. And everything nice.

And I got both. Everything nice is much better than Spice. I know. Well, my friend Mark told me I was spicy one time. He meant it sort of like sassy. See from the Pajama Men? Yes. That's my only friend Mark.

I thought you were going to mention Mark from Artie Donner. That was my go-to, Mark. No, he doesn't call me spicy. He calls me Melbourne comedy sweetheart. Oh. Sycastically. Oh, I was going to say, because spicy and sweetheart are very... Two very different things.

Very different things. But all things nice. That is you. And Matt, sugar. Because you're bad for you. That's right. No, no, no. No, no.

Naturally sweet. Oh, yeah, there we go. And also good on corn flakes. And good for exfoliating. And also good for ruining cars. Little sugar in the gas tank. Learn that from the Simpsons. Oh, there we go.

Also good in small portions only. Yes. Yes. Good for horses to eat in cubes. Is that a thing? I've never seen a horse eat a cube, but I've never seen a horse eat. Dave, have you never seen a horse eat? Oh.

Actually, no, I've seen one eat an apple and it made me love. Have you ever seen one piss? Because it's piss? Yeah. You have seen a horse piss? When I saw a horse piss as a child, it was something that really blew me away. Is it a real piss? Yeah, because they're one of those ones that start with it inside of them, and it drops out.

And it's big. I'm talking about the D. Not the piss. Not the P is big too, but the D is enormous. But when you say it blew you away, was it pissing onto you? It was like a pressure hose. You were just flawed by the P. I was in a big paddock as well

I was like If you looked at me from a distance It would look like That was a mini Like a localized cyclone Or hurricane And it was just sending me right across The meadow

And the paddock Wow The meadow was next to the paddock If they're different things What is the difference I feel like meadows have like little flowers in them Yeah Paddocks are a bit more rough

Yeah I feel like the difference is a fence Fence Right In fenced a meadow You got a paddock But you don't have a gym Okay, okay

Just saying What were you talking about again? Horse piss apparently And how you're a sugary sugar daddy Oh there it is That's right Because you're a sugar daddy And also I

Sugar is also One of my nicknames Is it? Yeah From? Matt Sugar Tits Stewart Well it's a part of a nickname Who calls you that

Gary Lion Gary Lion Calls your sugar tits Yeah That's nice Not the one from No I know Yeah

No A different Gary Lion Yeah. Spells are only with one R. Interesting. Well, it's not. Why would you lie about that to our listeners? I can see right through you, Jess. Yeah.

Nice try though. Sorry, sugar tits. Save it. No worries. Our spicy dick. Most of the listeners are like, who the fuck's Gary Locke? They're also like, why are they still talking? So it's my time to do a report on a topic.

Yes. It has been suggested by a listener. We always start with a question. So I've got a question for you, too, guys. And that question is, which country fought World War II for the longest and in some ways lost the race but won the marathon? What the, that's a long question. Okay.

There's a lot of info in that question, right? World War II, they lost the race. So I'd say that's... But won the marathon because they just kept fighting. Oh, so they won in the end. So I think England came in... No, I'm thinking World War I. World War II, how'd that one start again, Jeff?

Wrong person Okay So Germany was involved Yes They invaded Poland Yes That is right So were Poland in early

That's pretty early But then they sort of Were they fighting or were they just I don't fully understand his question All right I think it's someone in the Allies Who was on the ropes for a while I'm gonna say

No it's the opposite Ray Wands Oh so they recovered after they lost the war No one of the bad guys Who kept fighting Even though they lost the war Oh, okay, so there's Russia No, no, it's not Russia, there's Germany, Japan, they're the big ones.

Then you've got Italy. It is one of the two big ones. Okay, so let's narrow it down. I'm going to say it is probably Japan. It is Japan. Wait, so your topic is Japan? No, no, no. I'm so confused.

I was like, cool, I guess. It's great. My topic suggested by listener Stephanie is the Japanese holdout. across the islands of the Pacific Theatre, which is the Pacific area of the war, many of whom, either because they were unaware the war was over or because they didn't want to surrender, kept fighting sometimes for decades after World War II finished.

No way. I have a particular story about a particular holdout whose name is Hiro Onoda, and that is the topic of today's episode. The life and times of Japanese holdout, Hiro Onoda. Oh, Noda. never heard the term hold out before. Me either. I like it. Yeah.

People who don't take, can't take no for an answer. It sounds like the... You thought I might turn on it, but I like it. So far so good. Hiro Onoda was born on the 19th of March 1922. A good year. A bloody good year. In a village in the Wakayama prefecture of South Japan, he was reportedly a stubborn child and defiant in every single. single way. I can see that. Name all the ways, Jess. All the ways you can be defiant.

Yeah. Because every single way. Not eating your broccoli? Tick. That's one of the ways. To be defiant. This is going to be a long list. Just let's keep it to top ten.

But obviously that is in the top ten. So you're fine. That's fine. Not eating broccoli. Not doing your homework. Tick. Talking back to your mum. Oh, double tick.

So that's two. Because he talked back. When she said don't talk back. He talked back again. So that's four. Defiant. Refuse to wear underwear. flat out refused.

Defiant and stupid. Well, okay. That's a hygienic thing. Underware. Please. You're not. Yeah, and leading on from that, wouldn't wipe his bum. Oh, defiant and stupid.

A real messy. Yeah. All right, well, that's six. Defiant. He defiantly. Matt, do you remember a couple? You never rebelled as a child, did you? No.

Except by not wearing underwear and not wiping your bottom, apparently. I definitely did both of those things. Thank you. Did you eat broccoli there? Yeah, but only the top. because I thought they were little trees and if I didn't eat the bottom then that would keep your eyes.

Well, he refused both the top and the bottom, so that's seven. We've still got three to go. How else can you be defiant, Matt? You were a bad boy. He wouldn't brush his knees. He wouldn't eat his... Would not brush his knees.

He wouldn't eat the tops of the chairs and he wouldn't eat the middle of the rhinoceros. Next. Keep moving, Dave. Do you go on. Well, I was actually about to read through the list, but you just said it word for word, so I won't have to skip it.

Golly and scroll through it. We've all got a script, mate. Oh, no, to a bad boy, said of his early life. When I was six, I got into a fight with mud of my friends. I started swinging a knife about and hurt him. My mother said the family could not tolerate me. She took me to the family shrine to commit Huri Kiri,

which is the ritual suicide by self-disembalment with a knife. Originally reserved for samurai, he continues, she said a thug like me should kill himself. I wonder why I couldn't cut my belly, maybe because I was just a kid. So he didn't kill himself age six. His mum took him to kill himself. He defiantly said no.

That is defiant. That was number 11. He didn't want to make a cape that day. That's fucked. So he survived his early years. And at age 17, he spent some time working for the Tijima Yoko trading company over in China before enlisting in the Japanese Imperial Army when he was 20 years old. The year was 1942, and Japan, known then as the Empire of Japan.

He was 20. a good age that's right some real easy math the empire of Japan at the time had been fighting against China since 1937 and were officially part of World War II right from the start in 1939

hoping to take over and dominate Asia that's what Japan is trying to do at the time Asia Is that you said? Yes Yeah right Where were they trying to dominate? Asia

I don't know what I just can't pick up the dialect Asia Why are you saying it weird You say it weird. Asia. Asia. Well, now you're both saying it that way, so I think I'm wrong.

Asia. You're saying it funny, Jess. Stop it. It's Asia. There's a bit of background here. The Axis Alliance, aka the bad guys. It was made up of Germany, Japan, as Matt said, and Italy. Do you not think that's like a funny combination?

Yeah, well, two of the three make great cuisine. Two of the three, what are you not a fan of? German sausage. Sure. Italian, big fan. Big Italian fan, big Japanese fan. I would say my access of awesome food would be Japan. Yep.

Would also be Italy and Mexico. Yeah, I would go Italy, Mexico. Thai. Ooh, good. Yep, big fan of Thai. Okay, well, I'll round this out and I will go. Mexico, Italy,

Spanish. Interesting, interesting. Very good. There you go. A bit of Riyoka. You're learning a little bit more about us, listeners. Bit of... We all like tacos.

What do you call a little Spanish shoot again? Tapas. Little tapas. What did you call it? Riyako, I think that's something else. I knew it was wrong instantly. But I recovered seamlessly. You'll be able to add it around that day.

You'll make me sound pretty smart, I reckon. I'll just edit you saying Riyoka six times in a row. Riaca, Riaca, Riaca. Do go on. So the bad guys, Germany, Italy, Japan. I'm just giving context for any non-World War II buffs. By the way, this is, I've decided our third one in a trio of World War II badasses. Cool, okay.

We had three Monty's. Mm-hmm. So that's one, the Monty. We had Mad Jack Churchill. Oh, yeah. And now we have Hiru Anoda. Yeah. I realized that when I was writing the port.

I was like, World War II, different time. Not bad us. Great. The war really kicked off for Japan in 1941 with what is called the Pacific War when on the 7th of December 1941. Japan invaded Thailand, attacked the British possessions of Malaya, now Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong, as well as the United States military bases in Hawaii, Guam and the Philippines. And this also included the famous Pearl Harbor bombings. I didn't realize that they did all that.

simultaneously, which is, you know, biting off a lot to chew there. It's crazy. These attacks led the USA, Britain, China, Australia and several other states to formally declare war on Japan. So that's when they're fully in. How do you officially declare war? An email these days. It used to be a letter. What would the email say?

Sometimes for five to six working days, you wouldn't realize you were at war with someone. Dear sirs, or dear. Whoever it may consume. To whom at Maconson? Wars on with you, party of two, us and you. It's down to us. Let's do it. Want to punch on, you know, war or whatever.

Hey, let me know anyway, either way. Kind regards. Cheers. Australia. That's how we would start a war. Letters is that you couldn't delete anything. So once you wrote it, as Matt was finding there, I think the way we would.

Dictation. The way we would write it would be... Yeah, whatever America said, we agree. Yeah. We also wore on whoever they said that. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. Why are you doing that voice?

Because we're out... We're that little dork friend who's trying to be tough with his big mate. Yeah, cool. We're tough. Like, you come here and say that. What's that? We're 24 hours away. You can't be bothered flying here.

Good call. Oh, thank God. Thank God. I reckon we've saved ourselves. a lot of war just from being so far away. From what? From what? I'm not that far away from New Zealand.

Good point. But we're mates. Well, yeah. For now. For now. But for how long? I'm going to stop talking because I don't know anything about anything. Enjoy the podcast, boys. I'll be here for me. For the second time, I'm going to tell myself to do go on. Dave, Duggan.

So that's the war. That's where we're at. Hiru. It's signed up. And he attends the Nakano School in Tokyo's, the key training camp for intelligence agents, where he was trained in propaganda, sabotage, martial arts and guerrilla warfare. Sounds like my journalism degree. Propaganda mostly, but whatever you said after that, I was like, I'm just going to say the joke anyway.

Sabotage, aka fake news. I know I heard about martial arts, aka research and... AKA class report. Yeah. And I imagine you were also part of the Commando class as he was Oh, I went to Commando, alright Wait, I thought you just said before that you definitely As a kid I definitely wore underwear

Gotcha In my Commando classes No underwear You took it very literally Commando class All right Ready for this If you went in there

They ripped them off And threw them in a stone of beer And threw them up in a big floating pig Hang it from the ceiling It's the thing they do in Octoberfest in one of the tents. Really? Does that happen to everyone, Matt? Or just you?

They take your underwear off? Yeah. Well, I was there a little while ago. 100 years ago. I imagine in the last 100 years maybe it's developed since this. But in the Hofbrow tent. Because your one was launched by Adolf Hitler himself. Yeah, Hitler was there.

He was doing inspections. But if people would, then actually, they'd find if you had any on, then they'd rip them off. And you say pants off, then them off? No, no, rip them off while you still wear pants. I get a painful way. And then they dip them in a beer. It wasn't a pig, but it was like a big floating cloud thing. Like a, what do you call those sort of things?

Just a big decoration. And they'd throw it up there. Pretty fucked. And they'd rip off your undies. Yeah, weird, right? That's real weird. Did that happen to you or did you? No, it didn't happen to me.

Because I got worded up by friends before going in. So I just dropped them down a couple of inches. low rider people were none the wiser but let me were people still checking you though like is that like you're constantly trying to have a beer

and people like I think were you wearing like seamless undies so there was no lines in your pants were you wearing a GBA? You wearing a GBA? Yeah we wear your GBA I think that'd be more dangerous than they

well it's less material to rip but on the way up it's like fishing wire oh man Dave knows he wore it for a week and he documented it on YouTube check it out. Please.

It's very funny. Have you seen it? Yeah. We talked about it on first date. But had you watched it? I wasn't able to watch the whole thing through it. Yeah, I can't do it. It's mostly the hair that puts you up.

It's mainly the hair. It's mainly watching young Dave feels creepy. It's not my naked body. It's my haircut that puts me out. Yeah, it's not good. It's a real beaver fringe. The more we talk about it, the more people are going at. You're welcome.

Check the comments. All right. Also, then look at first day with Jess, please. Thank you. Dig on. All right, back of the story. So he's part of the Commando class. He is...

Okay, I was wondering where... I forgot what I was. He is not wearing a G-bang. Interesting. In 1943, Anoda's own father, who was also a soldier, was killed in action in China. So this is while he's still training. He learns of his father's death. Then on December the 26th, 1944,

a Noda was sent to Lubang Island in the Philippines, which is an island 93 miles, or 150k southwest of the Filipino capital, Manila, one of the many islands out there, a note that deployed with four other men and they were ordered to stay completely out of sight, collect information on the enemy's movements, disrupt those movements,

and launch a guerrilla attack wherever possible. They were told to particularly target the island's airstrip and the pier at the harbour, pretty much fuck shit up and cause mischief. Interesting. Interesting your interpretation there. And Cause mischief They're just like doing a bit of graffiti

Yeah Kicking over some letter boxes Playing hooky Mischievously Before they were deployed The commander of their division said You are absolutely forbidden To die by your own hand

It may take three years It may take five But whatever happens We'll come back for you Until then So long as you have one soldier You are to continue to lead him You may have to live on coconuts.

If that's the case, live on coconuts. Under no circumstance are you to give up your life voluntarily. I mean, it feels like not really something they can... Police. Yeah, or in force, yeah. If you take your life, I will punish you. Yeah, that's it. I'm coming for your life.

I'll bring you back to life and then... I'm going to end it again. I will take you to Octoberfest and I'll make you wear 15 pairs of underpants. I'll put you in that tent. And I'll hear your screams for weeks. Some would take this order more seriously than others. Cough, cough, cough, anota. I would not take that all that seriously.

It's like the Shackleton one where we're like, I would have given up so long ago. Oh, me too. I'll just lie down. Coconut sounds nice, though. No, I don't like coconut. I don't even like fucking bounty. No, me either.

I hate coconut. I've never had one. I assumed it tastes like bounty. You've never had, oh, right. I think you think you have the chocolate, though, aren't you? I don't really like bounties that much. Do you not like coconut perhaps? I like cherry rips, though, which is coconut chocolate.

If you have to eat cherry, eat cherry. Eat cherry. If you have to eat cherry-flavored coconut chocolate, so be it, mate. That's the war we're in now. It's an interesting war. As he dropped him off at the Cabri factory. Just eat your way out. It may take three years.

It may take five. But under no circumstance, I need to take your own life inside the Cabri factory. It would be a public. Health nightmare. So anyway, his job is to fuck shit up. And create mischief. You wrote that down? Yeah.

Did you write that and then high-five yourself because you thought that was cool? I felt like a real bad boy. I am the anode of word documents. Yeah, you are. It may take five years. I'll keep writing. Stuff was not going to Pan's way by this time of the war, and they were fighting a war that was pretty much lost for them.

I noticed superior officers didn't really care for his guerrilla mission and being distracted by losing the war, they offered him little help with the missions. That would be a bit distracting, losing the war. I just kind of get my mind on the war. Yeah. Now that we're losing the war. I just can't focus on everything else now that we're losing the war.

But stuff got a lot worse for Japan on the island when two months later, February 28th, 1945, the United States and the Philippine Commonwealth forces landed and quickly took control of the entire island. All the Japanese soldiers were either killed or surrendered, all except for Onodo and three men who he ordered to evacuate to the thick jungle-filled hills. Cool. Anoda's men were Private Yuichi Akutso, 22 years old. Corporal Shoichi Shimada, 30 years old. Private First Class Kinsichi Kuzuka, 24.

years old. I know to himself was just 23 years old at the time. He was their senior officer and held the rank of lieutenant. Man. But not regadere me, do. Rigadir. But he was in charge. He was the boss of these. Doesn't that just blow your mind when you hear

these sorts of stories and they're like, they're people in their early 20s and it's like, fuck, I went without a light in my room for two months because I couldn't reach the light bulb and only the other day I realized if I stood in my filing camera I could reach the light. And I'm 26.

But filing cameras are there. That's pretty brave though. Two months without light. I had a lamp, but it just wasn't good enough. I was trying to get dressed. You couldn't see anything. What about a chair? Yeah, no, really high ceilings.

It couldn't reach it. How many comedians does it take to change a light bulb? Nah, I did it by myself. Just one. One. And a filing cabinet. But it has to. Yeah.

On wheels. Is there a punchline for that? Nah. It's just my life, Matt. My life is the punchline. It is funny to that that, came a, like a joke. How many?

How many does it change to change? Yeah, it is weird, isn't it? It's not a good joke. They're never funny. I heard someone, I heard it in that someone talking about it the other day. I said, how many. Psychiaturists does it take to change a light bulb? What was the answer?

One, but they need to want to change. The Globe wants to need some want to change or something like that. I think it was in BoJack Horseman. That's a little bit. You can see an hour of Matt retelling. Other jokes better than the Melbourne Comedy Festival. My show this year at the festival is called Matt Stewart Butchers the Classics. Can you actually call your show that next year?

That's a great title. You read from a joke book with a badly played Chopin playing underneath it. Great. I'd see that show. Me too. I wouldn't pay for a ticket. I'd just use my festival pass and get him for free. Anyway.

We're doing a show at the festival. We mentioned that? Yeah, we can probably, we'll mention that at the end. Let's let Dave go on to his report. Okay. Dave go on. But everyone could pause now, just to look on the Melbourne International Comedy Festival website. Yeah, while you're listening.

Yeah. Anyway, I want to talk about anode who's in charge at 23 years old, younger than all of us. Insane. Even the guy at's 30s being bossed around by him. Definitely change a lot of. Bruce Springsteen wrote Born to Run at 24. You've mentioned that several times. That's my fact of the month.

How about this fact? But Meryl Streep didn't appear in a feature film until until she was 27 which is younger than older than I am so I could still be the Merrill Streep of my generation Dave, we're 27 this year

this could be our year or our year to die and join the 27 club regardless, good year I think you've got to have done something of note to join the club gosh, you're a piece of shit that's true

The four men Anoda and his crew lived very closely together in the jungle had very limited supplies all they had was their uniforms obviously that they're wearing

a small amount of... No underwear. Under no circumstance are you two wear underpants? Under pain of death. Unless it's like one of those coconut bras that you put together. The only thing,

if you must wear a coconut bra well, then you wear a coconut bra. But we'll need to see a medical certificate. Yeah. What? Anyway, they had... If you must wear a coconut bra but only of the doctor gives you permission.

Okay. The jungle doctor. They had their uniforms, a little bit of rice. Coconut bra, a small amount of rice. They had their guns and limited ammunition. So they had to be a bit sparing with their bullets. And some grenades. Sure.

But they were unlimited. Unlimited grenades. They typed in some cheat code. They had unlimited grenades. Matt, that was quite funny. Fuck you. It was like they were asked, they got one wish from Regina. You can have unlawful.

unlimited anything and they're all thinking food, food, food, a node is like grenades! Oh, fuck! I should have said coconuts. They did end up eating coconuts, which is what the order had been. If you need to eat coconuts, eat coconuts. And they had raw wild bananas from the jungle. Sometimes they would make late night raids into the island's villages

and still food and sometimes beer. They lived in huts in the dense jungle that they built from bamboo and relied on a notice guerrilla warfare training and ability to survive. Wow. It's funny because you say, like, they did live off coconuts because that was the order. It'd be funny if there's, like, a full buffet available to them, but they're like, no, no, we were told coconuts. I'm a man of principle. We're not to eat that, just the coconuts.

Yeah, they're staying in the five-star hotel. The downstairs of the buffet every morning. Which is included. Yeah, there's the one guy making custom-made pancakes. They sit there bringing coconuts down with it. They're just crying whilst they're skinning this. The war in Europe concluded in May 1945 when the Nazis surrendered. The Allies...

Oh, Dave, sorry. Sorry to bring that up. The Allies, I must emphasize that they are my team. Interesting. Called for the unconditional... Now, who's a flip-flopper, right? I always back a winner. The Allies called for the unconditional surrender of the Japanese armed forces in the Potsdam

Declaration. A few months later, July 26, 19. The alternative being prompt and utter destruction. So that was an ultimatum given to Japan. The Japanese response to this ultimatum was to ignore it. Oh. Or pretend they didn't get up. Sorry, got lost to my drafts.

So yeah, sorry. Got to my outbox, you know. I meant to get to that. Sorry about that. Oh, dear. Can I still get paid for that gig, even though it was a new financial year? That has something that I've been going through this week. Wow, new financial year.

plus nine months and I also ignored the email about complete another destruction Dave it's been a big week been a big week Dave

so they ignore the they ignore the email mostly because no one in Japan has a computer yet sure then on the 6th of August that you know of that's right

then on the 6th of August 1945 an atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and America American President Harry S. Truman called for Japan surrender, warning it to expect a reign of ruin from the air, a like of which has never been seen on this earth. This is only the second ever nuclear explosion. Did you know this? Before dropping the bomb, Hiroshima, they'd only ever tested one bomb?

Oh, wow. I did know that. They tested one and went, no, it works. They dropped it on people. Oh, my God. Dave, how was, like, I'm semi-interested in this stuff, but I don't, you know, this topic's great, but the wars and stuff, but I don't know that much about them. Was it necessary for them to win? Or was this like an unnecessary use of force by America?

Obviously it was unnecessary, but was it likely that they were going to lose? Or I feel like I'm under the impression that they were in a strong position anyway? So 70 years later, people still debate this about whether or not you can kill a couple hundred thousand innocent civilians in a few minutes in exchange for winning the war, which would possibly save millions of lives because of the blood. war would keep going and going and going. Oh, shit. I mean, who could ever really make that call? So the war was likely to go on for years at that stage? Well, yeah, they'd have to keep, because, you know, Japan are very, you know, the tradition

at the time, as you can see in this story, is give up under no circumstances. And this sort of, I guess, scared them into giving up. Yeah. Wow. But at the same time, I'm not necessarily of the opinion that was the right thing to do. No, God, no. I don't think nuclear weapons should ever be used and hopefully never will be used again.

But sadly in this story it did because three days later, another atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. Japan announced its surrender six days later. They had two and they were thinking, well, they're going to just keep dropping these things if we don't sign up. Also six days after,

this is also six days after the Soviet Union declared war on them. So Russia declared war on Japan as well. And that's a pretty scary thing too. Yeah. So with all those things, they're like, you know, this is pretty much the lot.

so even the proud Japanese emperor gave up but being in the middle of the jungle our four men had no idea about any of this they didn't get the email yeah he forgot his charger gone over 3G

yeah got to wait for next month for the data to come back refresh yeah now they did notice activity on the island lesson in late August but had no idea that the army that the army they were fighting for had completely surrendered

Wow Yeah They're so isolated And this continued on for 18 months When a plane dropped thousands of leaflets into the jungle The leaflets read The war ended on August 15 Come down from the mountains

But Anoda It was too smart to fall to this little trick That is so funny That they dropped They're like How do we communicate with them Because like the Philippines And all these

There's like thousands of islands That they've sent troops to and it's so jungle-filled and you can't just text them or radio them so they're like we'll just drop a bunch of leafless That's so clever Like thousands of them I find that really smart and funny

I don't know why I think it's funny Is it funny or I mental? No no that's funny Cool thanks No that's definitely very funny And on the back it had the pizza specials I don't want to waste space Oh you can't

You mustn't They got the pizza company to pay for it Yeah It was a Domino's dinner Damn. Very clever. Two pieces of garlic bread for 1895. That's going to make anyone come down with a mountain.

Two pieces of garlic bread for 1895. It was a different time, Jess. Money was worth more then. That's so much. Hang on. Money was worth less than. Did I say dollars? Because I meant yen.

Nail. Yeah, 18 yen, that's nothing. Oh, no. It was too smart to fall for this pizza-based trick. There were other sales of, Japanese soldiers spread throughout the jungle on this island, and occasionally they would be killed or captured. Onoda wondered why they'd be fired upon if the war was over. So it must be a trick.

So you'd see other people get shot at, and he'd be like, ah, I get it. Just a trick. Yeah, a bit of propaganda from the skies. But why, who is still shooting at him? Who's fighting against them? Well, perhaps it was because Anoda's group still blew up supply ships with explosives and shot at locals who were farming. Right, so they're getting shut up by, like, farmers and... shotguns.

Yeah, who were getting pissed off that these four men in the jungle are just shooting at them. They're getting pissed off, are they? Geez, a bit of an overreaction. Drama queens. It was a different time. Kind of small secret

army cell, shoot it, you on your farm every now and then without your body chucking a bloody fit. It's like it's not, I'm getting a big drama about it. It's like, some kid with a BB gun, but it's actually just a dude with unlimited grenades

throwing him at your house. Oh, fuck. Seriously. That's enough. That's the third house this week. And it's very loud. You're doing them late at night. We're trying to sleep.

Bit of respect. After 11pm, I'll get the fucking poppers out here. No grenades. No grenades after 11. I think that's very reasonable. I'll have no loud music, no shouting and no grenades. After 11. After 11.

Before 11, blow up as much as you're like. Go for it. On weekends, sure, midnight. I understand you young. I'm not going to be a Nazi about it. Let's just be reasonable. What's that? You're a Nazi.

grenade dead. Bang. Actually, in fact, even though the Nazis were on the Japanese side. He was taking no risks. He was. More leaflets were dropped.

The next batch... These ones for Mexican. Ooh, now I've listed. They're going through the cuisines. Two burritos for 1895 yen. Any good casadia deals? Yes. I love a cassadier.

Two casadillas for 1895 yen. Oh. But how much garlic bread? Oh, yeah. Two pieces. Oh. Okay. I'm going to throw those in.

So when I went to Japan, I'm not a big fan of Japanese cuisine unlike Matthew over here. What the fuck? Not a fan at a hotel. I didn't know that was an option. Not a fan. Open your eyes, Matt. Jess, do you like Japanese? You too, Jess?

Not huge, no. What? Well, because it's a lot of... Taste, flavor, enjoyment, happiness, good times. Well, I was staying at a hotel that had like a rooftop type bar. Oh, okay. But you're going to say, oh, it had a roof. Ooh, a rooftop.

Fancy man. And it had like cocktails and then like nibbles that you could order as well. And I discovered that they had a, they would have a shepherd's pie that for some reason came with garlic bread. And I discovered that I loved that combo. And I tried to eat there every single night. But my girlfriend thought it was very uncultured and that the staff were laughing at us because we were the only. only two people that would go there every night instead of eat Japanese food. But I regretted nothing.

Garlic bread and... And Shepherds Pie. I would come out of the jungle for that. Yeah, good call. That's how we'd get you out. Shepard's pie. And it was such a good Shepard's pie. That's not an everyday meal.

Such a good shepherd's pie. No, it's very heavy. I'd have it twice a day if I could. Three times. Three times. All right. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Shepard's pie. It's like a beef, like a beef stew topped with mashed potato.

Mints. Mints with a bit of carrot and stuff and peas and then mashed. It was almost like a bolognese. And then cheese on top of that. I haven't eaten meat in a long time. Yeah. That's munched up meat. Munched.

With potato on top. Is it munched up meat? Munched up. Yeah, see, I never liked Shepard's Pie. And then I stopped eating meat. So you're telling me you're going to go to Japan and you don't like Japanese food or Shepard's Pie. I'm fucked. Good luck.

I'm fucked. Maybe I'll just eat the garlic bread. I hope you like. They actually refuse to serve garlic bread on its own. Yeah, well, I'll get somebody that I'm travelling with to get the shepherd's pie and I'll eat the garlic bread. I'm afraid they won't allow that. It is weird. If I haven't told you this to about I was on a winery tour one time.

See, I do travel. You're cultured. You're cultured. You go to a place where you have your underwear ripped off and thrown into a giant pig. Yeah, you're cultured. But you don't go to Alcataz Island or the Van Gogh Museum. You know, October versus one of the biggest cultural events in the world, guys. Okay, tell us about this wine.

But that tent is no good. I wouldn't go back in there in a Hofbrow tent. If it's still like that, no good. Polana, lots of fun. The one would be lying at the entry. Don't need these. Okay, great. The underwear one does sound interesting.

If you're not wearing underwear, it sounds like it would be fine. Yeah. Anyway, so winery. I was just saying, because you know, you're saying you can't separate them. There was one, on this winery tour, the lunch stop was at this winery in, up near the Murray. and river the dish there was only one big river meal and it was chicken with mashed potatoes and i was like i was like i'm hungry because i've been drinking wine and i need a meal today yeah it wasn't in big trouble and so i said oh is there a vegetarian option and they're like no sorry i'm like

oh that's weird very weird that's weird in like 2012 that they wouldn't even be vaguely accommodating yeah they wouldn't and i'm like oh i don't mean i'm not trying to be fussed or anything is there any way I could just get you know the the chicken meal without the chicken and like sorry I'm really sorry we can't help you they couldn't even take the chicken off the plate that phrase we can't help you they were they were they would I had to talk to like two levels up of management before I got a plate of mashed potatoes and it cost me the full price of $18 what the fuck was it good though it was a really good mash it was it was mashed it was mashed potato.

I was missing the chicken, to be honest. That's fuck. Did you have to be like, all right, no, you can personally eat my chicken? Yeah, no, that was the, you just reminded me of it then when they're just being like, it was this weird. It's like, but I mean, you're stuck on a rule that doesn't make any sense. I'm like, I'm happy to pay for the meal, if that's what I have to do. Sure me, I was calling their bluff and I'd say, no, we'll give us a, you know, a couple of bucks or whatever. Yeah.

But they were like, yeah, sorry, just. this is how it is. Sorry, that's a $26 dollar mashed potato. And they don't, they had no other options. Like I understand if they've just, if it's a set thing

and they've already made all that food, fine. 100% was not going like, how dare you or anything? I was just like, I just really need to eat some food. Is there any chance I can get anything? Anyway,

now I'm sound like a fucking suck. No, not at all. That's weird. That's so weird. I still think about it every now. I'm like, what a weird day where they were just like basically going,

how dare you? How dare you even come up here and ask that question? That's really not even going to help you all that much with your drinking. You know, like, that's not a good meal to have. A bit of mash? I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the CEO. And the police, you fucking criminal. I know this is some sort of fucking scam.

I'm trying to get some free mashed potato. None of my fucking wash. You're going to pay $28 and you're not going to fucking enjoy it. And then I'm going to make you eat chicken because you're a little bastard. It probably was like that like that. I just fucking piss of shit. They're probably like, just eat the chicken. Why can't you just eat the chicken?

Why are you being so stubborn about this? Just eat the chicken. I love that argument. How about you? Just eat the chicken. And you go like, you're such a nice guy. You'd be like, yeah, right. Look, I was back in the corner.

I feel like you do. You do get that a little bit. Like, my houseweight sometimes like, Jess is mostly vegetarian. I'm like, Deb, I'm vegetarian. Like, I'm not mostly. I don't eat meat. No, but you'll have a little bit.

No, I won't. I'm mostly vegetarian. my small toe is being known to consume meat, but the rest of me. The rest of me. It's very funny. Just eat the chicken then. Omnivore. Matt, just eat the chicken.

Yeah, I know. Why are you making a big... I don't care about your ethics or the fact that you haven't eaten meat in so long. If you do eat meat, it kind of doesn't sit right. I don't care about that. This is the meal. Anyway, look, I've moved on. I don't want to make it sound like I'm carrying this around with me.

I am now. I'm carrying it. You pass it on. Do you think about it daily? Should we have our first anti-sponsor on the podcast? and you name this winery. I know. I remember the name, if you want to know it.

Yeah, what was it called? Gerriggs. Was it Kentucky? Gerriggs. It's not even a good name. Gerricks. I love the name. It sounds like.

They were related to one of my favorite Saints footballers. Of course. The G-Train Fraser Gerrigg. So it's called Gerrigg. Are you sure it wasn't called Kentucky fried chicken? Does that not sound like a noise you make when you have like indiggetion? The kernel was being very unreasonable. Even the kernel would let me eat the chips.

Exactly. Exactly. Chips and mash and coleslaw. You would have had a rounded meal at the kernels. And I love the idea. Well, we can give you just the chicken, or the chicken and the mash, but not just the mash.

Like, if you'd ask for no mash, they would have been fine. Yeah. But if you take quite the chicken, they start to panic. Anyway, That's so odd. Back to Japan,

where they had no chicken and no mashed potatoes, just a lifetime supply of coconut. More leaflets were dropped. The next batch had a surrender order from General Yamashita of the 14th Area Army. They studied these leaflets and thought, Another trick.

Leaflet after leaflet was dropped from above. Newspapers with details of the war being over were left throughout the jungle. Photographs and letters from relatives were dropped. Anoda said, I assumed my relatives were living under the occupation and had to obey the authorities to survive. I love that kind of level of pessimism and paranoia. People spoke out over loudspeakers

Throughout the jungle Telling them it was all over But to the men There was always something suspicious So they never believed The war had really ended Japan would never give up And they were specifically told to never surrender

Yes I love it It's amazing I can't enjoy that Because you are actually quite defiant and stubborn Let's be honest Yeah shit This would be you

Whereas I'd be like Eh Eh Eh I definitely would have killed myself I can relate to them on some level, apart from being general badasses. But the stubbornness I'd probably do a bit of. Do a bit of.

I'd do a bit of that stubbornness. You dabble in stubborn? Dabble. I was thinking what I was relating to it on one level, quite similar, is when I'm in like a public place and someone's going, hey, Matt, Matt, hey Matt, I won't turn around because I just assume they're talking to a different Matt. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard What if you hear another name

Dave Dave I've clearly forgotten my name I'll turn around There's a lot of Matt's out there Jess There's a lot of Jess's Matt I'd still turn around No I turn around when people say yes

Because it sounds so similar People say yes And I go hmm And how well Yeah I never have that Yeah but if somebody is saying Jess I hear them

Well eventually they come up Would you not recognise someone's voice Like if What if I can't come up and tap you on the shoulder? What if I need help? And I'm yelling, Matt. Don't yell, Matt. What do I?

Help me, Matt. And if I yell, help, would you then turn around? Would you say if somebody else will deal with that? If someone's saying help. You'd turn around? You assume that they're talking to someone else. Yeah. But also, like, maybe what if I said something that was more specific to you?

Like, if I said Matt Stewart or... Yeah, Matt Stewart's probably getting close. I call you Mattie. If I yelled Maddie. So did you just say Matt Stewart is probably getting close? It's getting closer. You yell out. You'd yell out.

What's my middle name? I grew up around the corner from a guy with my same full name. Oh, fuck off. Was he also James? Yeah. He was also a Matthew James. Yeah. Good heavens.

So I was just like, what are the chances? They're talking about him. What if I yelled, oh, big balls? Oh, hey. Oh, who's that? Oh, it's Bob. That could be many people who know about my special condition. My silver big balls.

I've had them coded. With silver? Yeah, and bigness. I've had layers added. Wow. Yeah. Is that expensive? Yes.

Did you use some do-go-on money for that? 18.99. Did you use some of our money for that? Of course I did. It's the only money I have. Fair enough. I live off this. That is the Patreon treasurer.

We are yet to see a dollar. Yeah. But we have seen many yen. Many yen. Many yen. Many yen. Many good. A few good yen.

A few good yen. That's what I was going for. Anyway, do go on. So back on Lubang Island, the locals had tried to rebuild their lives over the first couple of years after the war and they went back to their old routines, farming as best they could, and they fucking hate Anoda on these men. Onoda thought that they were in on it too, that the farmers were the enemy. He wrote, We considered people dressed as islanders to be enemy troops into

disguise or enemy spies. The proof that they were was that whenever we fired on one of them, a search party arrived shortly afterwards. That sounds suspicious. The search party was probably just trying to find out who the fuck just shot my mum. Who shot my mum?

Was it you? Your mum's a spy? Yeah. How very convenient I shot one of you when you came looking for the murderer. Miss Marple? Fuck off. I noticed

that he wanted his own territory. He wrote, To expand, we had to break in the locals. I materialized to destroy things, threatening them, lighting fires and empty houses. So he also burned their farms down. Oh, Jesus Christ. So they hate him.

It's so weird that they looked for him. Don't you reckon? But he was so good that they'd never got him. Or not to this point. Or did they? I wonder what would it take, Jess, for him to be convinced? The president of Japan?

No, because then it's still, it's an imposter. Oh, yes. It's just madame two swords come to life. Not again. The enemy has clearly invented some sort of machine where they bring the emperor back to life. He would definitely believe that before.

Yeah. The youngest of the group, 22-year-old Akutsu, got sick of the raw bananas, coconuts, lighting, farms on fire, and jungle living. So one day... What a suck. Yon. Oh, burning houses.

Yon. Boring. I'm sick of bananas. Burning Houses Australia. Sounds like a great program. I've watched that. We can host that. Welcome to another episode of Burning Houses Australia.

Matt's like, oh, fuck, this is boring. Whereas like, you're talking to the camera and no one knows where I am, but then behind you a fire starts and then I run out of a house. It's like a little gasoline catastrophe. Like, giggling to myself. This week's episode, we burn a mansion. I can't. I'm listening. I'm back in

Volume up Matt Somehow tries to set fire To a pool Yeah, let's up the ante Everybody in the pool Oh no No

Was anyone home? We forgot to check It was a big house That's normally the producer's job But they're sick today We didn't check Hey we don't want to break And enter and break the law

Oh no We just throw a Molotov cocktail Through several windows And several locations of the house Okay Yeah, is that all right? Questioningy McGee. And if people happen to be home, that's their fault for living in a mansion.

Capitalism gone mad. Fuck the mansion. Fuck the mansion. That's our motto. Fuck the mansion. And one day we have a crossover episode where we find a big mansion owned by a man called Shun. And we fuck him. We fuck him.

Really? We fuck the mansion. We fuck the man, Shun. Yeah. Do I have to say it again? We make him reach a good. And then another crossover episode, we throw a Molotov cocktail into a mansion, but there are antiques in there.

Antiques Roadshow. The house is on wheels. It's a real road show. Yeah, that's great, is that I broke there because of my own joke, which wasn't really a joke. You were laughing at the audacity of yourself. It was just you saying, Antiques Road Show Stop trying to contribute

There are antics there Antiques Root Show You're right, it is funny Some of the Some of the antiques Are collectible children's toys Power Rangers Cross over

Kids will love it Have you noticed that we've had several tweets Of people asking us to do a Power Rangers episode No There's been at least three There's a new movie coming out I believe That's funny Intakes, how about

old stuff Very good Very good Very good indeed So we got a kutsu The guy who's sick of eating coconuts, bananas And burning shit down Did I get this right

The oldest guy The leader is 23 And the youngest guy is 22 Yeah But no but there is The actual oldest of the group Was 30 when they went in Right

But he's just He's outranked Fair enough He's out of noted But this guy A Kutsu Imagine being in your 30s and hanging out with people in their 20s.

Sounds sad. Imagine that. What a loser. Imagine being that kind of psychopath. Ew. Yucky. Imagine if one of them was your boss, aka me. Imagine trying to bond with them or fit in. You just wouldn't. You just wouldn't fit in. Couldn't do it. They're so fucking dumb. I haven't lived.

Nah, they're young. You're fresh. It'd be hard to communicate with such imbeciles. And you're old and stuck in your ways. And they haven't even, I haven't seen anything. They haven't done anything. What do they know? Nothing. The other two have been to Alcatraz

and the old man hasn't. I mean, they've seen old buildings and they think that's wisdom. Yeah, the old man's just drunk a lot. The real wisdom is people. Life's about conversations. You know what life's about? Antiques road show.

Oh, that is good. And that's maturity. And ticks road show. Oh, has Bob got a new catchphrase? Hello. Well, I mean, you're saying the name of the show. Antiques Roach Show. Hashtag Antiques Road Show.

I'm sure that Antiques Road Show, hashtag is not taken. Any mail from now one? Don't tweet it to us. Just tweet it with the hashtag Antiques Road Show. I'm sure we'll find it. It'll get to us. Which will find it. So, for the fifth time, there's a dude called a Kutsu

who's just stopped giving a fuck. He doesn't want to eat bananas, coconuts anymore. Oh, fuck. So one day, without telling the others, he decides to surrender. Oh. The only problem is he didn't know which way was the way out of the jungle, and it took him six months to find anyone to surrender to. But he lived.

All I wanted to is surrender. Oh, shit. So he walked for six months on his own. And the others were like... How big is his island? Everyone was like, where do you go? Oh. And of course, to Anoda, he was crazily suspicious.

The group down to three, he thought this was some sort of security leak. that the other guy was possibly in on it the whole time. So he had to be careful about moving to a new position. I love this guy. He's so great. He... You know what else is great? Antix Rocha.

It's about... About things that are old, but still valuable. Unlike Matt. Oh, my favorite game is... My which bit of mine are old or valuable. Both. I love watching Antich Brosho and guessing how much things are worth. Matt, four pounds 50.

Oh, generous. What's the question? How much you're worth. Oh, yeah, four pounds 50. Yeah. How is the pound going these days? Dave, you keep up to a date with currency. Pretty well, actually.

Brexit did well for it, didn't it? Dropped a bit. I think it's bounce back. Pounce back. Yeah, good. It's good for the pound. I remember going to pound pint nights. So that's four and a half pints in the right night.

Pound pint nights. Hmm. Hmm. bound some bloody pints of those. Now, the oldest guy, the oldest guy was Shimata, he was 30. Yuck.

Now 37 years old. Ew. Ew. Whoa. Talk about Antiques Roads show. You got to click first. Try it again. Talk about...

No. Click. Talk about... Click. Talk about Antiques Roadshow. Nailed it. Seamless. Fakes.

Yeah. I'll edit that to make you sound like a legend. Edit it to make it sound like really, like a really good... Oh. I've got a good click. So, Shamar is the oldest one. He was 30. Now he's 37 years old.

So they've been in the jungle for seven years at this point. Hang on, hang on. That math adds up, yes. He was shot in the leg during a shootout with a local fisherman in June 1953, after which Anoda nursed him back to health, which is incredible when he considered he had no first aid supplies or medicine at all. Wow. Sadly, it was all in vain because the following year, 1954, Shimada was killed by a shot fired by a search party looking for the men.

Oh, no. Which to me is the world's fucking worst search party in history. There they are! Oh, fuck, I shot him in the head. Now I can't tell if it's him or not. Oh, no. Oh, no. So he was dead.

He's gone. So now there's two men left. Kazuka, now 33, and Alita Anoda, now 32 years old. So they've been there nine years. nine years. And remember, they've been hiding for what is almost undoubtedly no reason. Yeah. No reason.

And almost a third of their lives. It's crazy, isn't it? In 1959, Lieutenant Onoda's fire was officially changed from missing in action to killed inaction back home. So they just assumed that no one could still be out there. But they said they'd come back for them. They'd given up on him. But he hasn't given up. They dropped flies multiple times.

They came back, sort of. Yeah, for the first like five years. and then they're like, oh. Well, yeah, I guess they'd... Fair assumption then. And every now and then, a search party would go out looking for them. Often the local community, like, or the police, because someone from the hills was shooting at the farm.

Yeah. Matt, how long would you hang in there, just so we know? Just for, out of spite and anger. Stubborn, just because I don't want to go, no, guys, it's been five years, we should assume he's been killed in action. Look, I don't know, how, I mean, how much... much of the farmers double crossing me. Well, like a what?

Heaps. Yeah, they're the enemy. Their soldiers dressed up as farmers. 100 years? Did wait 100 years. Okay, good to know. Give or take. Keep looking for you then.

It's like 200 to be safe. Yeah, right, 200 years. And then we'd give up. That seems fair. I think so. Antig's Road Show. That's the new catchphrases that do go on. So it's now just a Noda and Kuzuka living together,

huddling in the rain, eating coconuts, making raids, and waiting for their next official order. Sounds kind of great. Sounds kind of romantic. It sounds like a sitcom. Yeah. So these two men are there. They believe it's their duty to keep information on the enemy should the Japanese

army ever arrive and need it again. So they're sort of trying to keep notes up here, you know what I'm saying? Wow. So it was just the two of it. Sorry, to clarify Dave was tapping his head. I was not tapping my penis. Got notes up here. I don't know why my penis is up.

You are tapping it now. I actually. Stop it. Sorry. I'm a method actor. Don't tap your penis at me. You're a flaccid actor. Nothing flustered about this act.

Oh no, stop it. So it was just the two of them. Just the two of us. I actually paused because I knew Jess would sing that. And it was just the two of them for another 18 years. Fuck off. Another 18 years. On top of the nine.

On top of the nine. They stuck it out. Two men in the jungle wearing the same clothes. Probably no underwear, remember. Imagine if on the day you deployed, you accidentally wore your worst pair of underwear, like your emergency pair, like with the shit elastic. And then you had to keep wearing that for 27 fucking years.

Dave, that's as old as us. They've spent more, your whole lifespan, Jess. Are we sure that they're wearing the same clothes? I mean, they were burning down empty houses. Surely they'd grab a spare change of clothes. But then they'd be taking off their uniform, which would be treasonous. Oh my God.

Treasonous. That's amazing. Not fully treasonous, just treasonous. Treasonish. Treasonish. No, it's treasonish. That's your defence in a military corps. I mean, it was treasonish.

Why did you try to assassinate the Prime Minister? Treasonish, come on. I don't know if it's cut and drawer. Fair go. I love that argument. Fair go. Oh, come on. Fair go.

In Australia it seems like that could get you off though, doesn't? Fair go. Fair go. Go on, fair go. All right. Gone. Scarn. Oh, fair go.

Yeah, right. Fair buddy. Remember when we hit a Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, whose catchphrase was Fair Shake of the Source Bottle. Yeah. That was their Prime Minister's catchphrase. Makes a lot of sense. What's our current Prime Minister's catchphrase? Jobs and growth.

Oh, yeah, of course. Jobs and growth. Hair growth, mostly. Is it really? That's what he promises. He supports the hairdressing industry. Yeah, big time. No, no, do we growth or not cutting? Yeah, Ashley and Martin.

Oh, from scratch. Big sponsors. It's our prime minister and Shane Warren. Yeah. Big sponsor. I think you'll find that Shane Warren is from Advanced Air Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there you go.

Advanced hair, yeah. Yeah. That was his catchphrase. Advanced hair clinics. Yeah, yeah. That was the catchphrase. That was the motto. catchphrase.

Not as good as yeah, yeah. Antic throat check. That's so funny. Maybe if he clicked. Yeah. Hair, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck.

Is that done it? No. What is it? Oh, advanced hair, yeah, yeah. That's terrible. I fucking hate that a lot. I don't get it, but it was, it became a, it became like. I mean, it worked.

It's in your head. But it also went, it became like a thing that people said. Oh, yuck. I can't ever remember. What decade is this? I've never heard anyone. Advanced hair, yeah, yeah. Oh, I hate it.

I must have been... I don't think I've ever hated anything more in my life. I think it was when it came out. Greg Matthews, you remember him? No. It used to be all cricketers. Tell me I haven't made that up. It says mid-1990s as well.

Fucking hell. That makes sense. And it says New Zealand TV ads, the first thing that comes up. Okay, all right. So that's, yeah, okay. So you weren't watching mid-nodon-Is New Zealand TV. Small children and it was in a different country. Oh, it'd be.

Dance here, year, year. Yeah, I remember that. Oh, sorry. That was bloody great. Misunderstood. Dave, that was very funny. I had nothing like a little jet. And that is why they haven't invaded us

because we ridicule them at every turn. I'm pretty sure they do it back. There's a lot they can tease us for. I mean, we don't fuck sheep, so that's all right. We do have quite a few New Zealand listeners. I know, I'm just kidding. Thank you very much. I don't think they're fucked sheep.

Yeah, I know, mate. It's just a joke. Well, is it a funny joke? Oh, fuck off. Jess. I love when Matt just pulls you up on a point. Let me just, Antiques Road Show, you're right there. It's like how Matt envies Dave for always having a joke answer to a question.

And Matt's always like, it's what he's supposed to the question. I don't think about this. I mean, I mean, great question. Jeez, always, what do we think? Thanks so much for us. Can we have some brainstorming time? Whereas Dave's like, I've got a joke. Boom, we're in.

But Matt is a... I keep thinking this is a serious show. It's not at all. I always forget. I will remember one day that we're doing comedy. Nah. And I'll join in. Hey, Dave, sorry to keep interrupting you.

Please, do go on. This episode has felt looser then. Yeah, sorry about that. You say that most weeks. Yeah, it's true. I'm not alone. Okay. No, we're nearly there.

Okay. In October, 1972, at the age of 51. And after 27 years of hiding in the jungle, Kazuka was killed during a clash with the Filipino patrol whilst he was burning a local rice field. So 27 years later, he's still burning down rice fields. It feels like maybe he wasn't fully on top of life. I feel like you just need something to pass the time.

Yeah. And a bit of pyromania just really... Or was it that he just never wanted to go back. get a real job. Do you think he was a bit of a layabout? Maybe he didn't like his wife. Yeah, didn't like his wife. I didn't want to go back to her. Any excuse I do to get away from the bloody.

Ball and so, alright. Oh, Jesus, you know what they're like. Well, I did read about one of these Japanese holdouts who held out for a couple of decades. And on the American overseas territory of Guam, and apparently after the first five years, he lived in a hole that he dug for himself. And after the first five years, he found out that the war was over. but he was too afraid to go back and surrender. Like he didn't want to look like he was giving up.

He didn't want to go home and admit. So he just stayed. So he just stayed for another 10, 15 years on his own. No. And the weirdest part about that, there were other men also in holes, like a few kilometres spread out, but they'd meet up sometimes,

but then they'd decide to stay alone at night for years. That's so odd. But these people aren't like that. They still think they're part of the mission. Like, it's done, and I'm already on a plane somehow. Like, I'd be straight out. Straight out. Me too.

First opportunity. Wouldn't be there in the first place. Onoda had been declared 13 years earlier, but after the Filipino patrol killed his partner, whose body was sent back to Japan, they started to think that maybe a Noda was in fact alive. So it became a big story in the newspapers. Because no one had ever seen his body,

and there'd been stories of a couple of people shooting at farmers. Now one of them's gone. They thought Noda's out there. So both the Japanese and Filipino government sent out search parties into the jungle, but they couldn't find Anoda who was now completely alone. Still remembering his orders, he decided he couldn't kill himself or surrender. He had at this point spent more than half of his entire life in the jungle. Half of your life wearing the same underpants.

You're really hanging on to the underpants, aren't you? I think it'd be... I love the idea of being able to go... Imagine how much Japan would have changed in that time. That's what I was thinking too. Crazy amounts. It's kind of like when you hear about people getting out of prison and like, you know, technology's advanced so much. And then he's like, what the fuck.

He's been living in a jungle for more than half his life. You couldn't go about it. You couldn't function. What year are we up to now? 1972. What? It's the 70s. So 27 years later.

Holy shit. He missed all of the 60s. He's now. And the 50s. He's now into his 50s. The whole world has changed so much. So much. He was 23 and now he's.

50. That's incredible. I love it. Then we come to another incredible man named Norio Suzuki. Probably the opposite of Anoda in many ways, not good at following orders and a definite hippie-free spirit. But one thing that they had in common is that they're both crazily determined and would persevere where nearly everyone else would give up. Suzuki was born in Japan in 1949, four years after the war ended, and when Anoda had

already been hiding for four years. Oh my God. He studied economics at... Jose University but dropped out and decided to explore the world. On his world travels, he visited Asia, the Middle East in Africa, and in 1972, after four years of wandering the world and paying for the trip by donating blood and working on farms, he decided to return to Japan and found himself surrounded by what he felt as fake. So he'd been away for four years and came back to Japan, and it had changed so much. So imagine how much it's changed to the other guy.

Wow. But Suzuki had read of the killing of Kazuka And about the possibility that Anoda was still alive Anota had now turned into a bit of an urchin An urchin A sea urchin He was a sea urchin now He had changed form

No he turned into a stubborn He's so stubborn But he became an urchin Jesus You've heard of a hermit This is an urchin Hello Urchin for son-a-pop.

You know, he turned into an urban legend back in Japan, but most people thought he probably wasn't actually alive. Because what are the fucking chances 27 years later the guy's still in the jungle? Yeah. But reading about him left Suzuki to conclude that he wanted to search for Lieutenant Onoda, a panda, and the abominable snowman in that order.

Fuck, that's the best. Also, did I mention, was it, did I mention on the podcast that I can't say, The word before snowman? Abominable. Abominable. I have to imagine a bomb inside a bull. Abominable, abominable.

That's the only way I can do it. Abominable, abominable. Abominable. There you go, I said it. Yeah, you said it. Abominable. You made a big deal about nothing in the end there, just. You just changed the lives of many listeners because I will always think of abominable.

Abominable. Thanks to my ex-boyfriend for that. And nothing else. Thanks, Gary. His name was Gary His name was not Gary. Gary Lion. Yeah, I dated Gary Lion.

I knew he had a bit of infidelity in him, but really. And he said something earlier in this episode to me, didn't he? That was a different Gary Lyme. He changed a lot of lives. Gary Lyme. Changed a lot of loves. Like the one for you, and two, not love. Yeah, I'm incapable of love. Gary, no.

Gary, no. Suzuki, traveled to Lubang and began wandering the jungle with a very simple strategy to find anoda. What he would do was wander the jungle, yelling anode's name at the top of his lungs. Well, if he is at all like me, that is not going to work. But if you yell big balls. I'm guessing it's another anode.

He's probably talking about another another one. It's got to be. I mean, how many anodas can be in one jungle? There's a guy yelling out my name here for me. I doubt it. Good luck. I hope you find the other anota, mate. I'm not saying that to you or looking, I'm walking on.

So search party after search party, leaflet after leaflet, no one's been able to find this guy. There's now the leaflets for like Jim's mowing. We'll clip your hedges for money, which is the way most businesses work that way, to be honest. Food delivery for all cuisines. Most of my mail is food delivery things. Yeah.

I miss getting mail. Well, anyway. Send your fan mail. Yeah, too. Unit three. Unit three, is it really? Yeah, it is a unit three. You've basically given it away.

How many unit threes could there be? Send it to unit three. We could set up a PO box. Oh, that would be cool. That would be great, actually. Fan mail. Oh, but then they could send us creepy things too. That's fine.

Yes. Is that fine? Okay, well, you could open a lot. all the envelopes, all right? Anthrax boy. I will, with my mouth. Just to be safe. Just to be safe. I don't want anything touching these beautiful hands. Oh, no, I've got anthrax on my hands. Oh, you will never hear me say that. Oh, I'll love this

powder of my mouth. You might hear me say that. It's a bit obnoxious when she laughs on that, don't you? People love it. There are millions of tweets we get. I love it. It's the only feedback I get. You know, I'm a person as well, guys. There's a person behind the laugh. There was one. That's a great autobiography title. The person behind the laugh.

Like, I am, like, I'm a human, and I make some good points every now and then. Look, I'm not just a laugh. To the listeners, I see Jess quite a lot. But I never really see Jess. Because their laugh is just so big. It's hard to get through it. People did say it was obnoxious early. I think mainly you.

It's so obnoxious. I'm going to have to edit that out. It's something that Jess often used to say. And Dave and I was like. Dave and I was like And Dave was like And I was like I was like

I was like I'm uh-uh Jess you leave that in And you know There's the rest of they say it's history It's basically me and Dave If you like Jess's laugh

It's because of you too It's because I'm laughing at you Hang on no you made yourself laugh before So as I said I make some good jokes Sometimes A solo podcast you'd actually be fine No I wouldn't

I don't like my own reports Because they're not I don't laugh I have no fun on them. Yeah, well, maybe you should do a report on something else. Oh, okay. No, please don't suggest Antiques Roadshow. I don't think there's enough information on it.

It's been going for decades. Yeah, but is there enough on them. Every episode is about amazing, interesting stories of artifacts. How do they find them all? I'd love to know the production of it. Anyway, Dave, opening the mail with his mouth is very funny. This is a very interesting piece. That's a big brass Matt Stewart's testicle.

Circa 1834, I believe. Do you realise what you have here? Do you know the significance of this, of this balls? What accent? It changed a lot there. It went from English to French very quickly. I am... This show is not about me.

It is... Now it's Japanese. I was thinking of a nodder. Oh my God. That was your Japanese impression? It was not good. not do it again. It's still sounded French. Well, I'm just going to rewind and replay.

Maybe turn it into some sort of a club dance hit. Oh, hello. Please still do this? A club dance hit? Yeah. I don't know. We'll find out. I know it doesn't even know what a club dance hit is. He's been in the jungle that long. It's the 70s.

For years he's been yelling, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, and nothing has happened. He's had no response. He was before his time. Anyway, tell us more about. Suzuki walking around a jungle. He's yelling his name.

I'm waiting for this guy to invent some sort of motorbike. He's not the Suzuki. Orca. Orca. Orca. Killer wow. Yeah, he's going to invent an orca. Or the acting instructor.

Suzuki. I think he was talking about the other. Antiques Road show. So Suzuki, he's wondering. Remember, they've sent dozens of search parties out. But he just goes by himself. On his own, how long do you reckon it takes him to find him? Two weeks.

Because you ask, it's short. I would have thought it sounds like it should be years, but I'm guessing it's going to be... Months, maybe. You're months. I'm going to say six weeks. He found a nota in four days. Oh, fuck, that is short.

That's so awesome. Isn't this? You're fucking kidding me. A not kidding. I'm not kidding. Just four days of yelling. It's so fucking great. I wonder how long he would have tried for.

On a man that's been hiding for 29 years. When Anoda was first discovered, he was ready to shoot Suzuki at first sight. But fortunately, Suzuki had read all about him and quickly said, Onoda San, the emperor and the people of Japan are worried about you. And also, he's just a man on his own. It's not a big search party with guns. He said, Anoda got talking to Suzuki, who he described as a hippie boy, and they became friends, to some degree.

How would he have known what a hippie boy was? Hippies haven't changed that much. He created the concept of the hippies. Yeah, 40s hippies very similar. Because you know how, like, fashion goes around in trends? Cycical. By the time it sort of cycled around, the hippies were very similar in the 70s as they were in the 40s,

which was lucky, actually, so he could identify him as a hippie boy. Sick. It's true, Matt. I get it now. That is fascinating. Yeah, see, I make some good points. I'm not just an obnoxious laugh. No, you have so much more than that.

You're also really dull points. I mean, good points or whatever you were saying. Sorry, I wasn't listening. So they became friends, Dave says, trying to diffuse the situation. Friends, much like Matt and Jess are sometimes. Always, Dave. But... This from my angle.

Jess's dagger eyes disagree. But Anoda refused to surrender. Even though the war was well and truly over, he said he would have to surrender. He'd have to be ordered to surrender by one of his superior officers, who are all... It's like retired. So Suzuki returned to Japan with photographs of himself and Anoda as proof of their encounter. And the Japanese government located Onoda's commanding officer Major Yoshimi Taniguchi, who had since become a bookseller.

He was no longer in the army. Also, do you think Suzuki at least took some spare clothes and some food for him? Or he's just like, okay, you good with that over there? I mean, I've got a tent here I brought with me, but are you good? You want to? He was a hippie, Jess. He doesn't care about

earthly possessions, like clothes. 30 years later, I'm like, I, okay, I'm, I don't fit into clothes

that fit me a couple of years ago. Okay, I'm guessing you might need a change of clothes. Anyway, whatever, go on. Are you still growing,

I am? Yeah, I'm still growing. Mom had to take up all my pants. Take them up. You got smaller. You turned all your pants

into shorts. Yeah, I'm going little. I'm getting smaller. I'm going on little. little. I'm going to go little for a while. So that's like...

Can you take up my pants? I'm not as long as I was in my early 20s. Dave. So they found the major. They flew him to Lubang where on March 9th, 1974, he finally met with Anoda and fulfilled the promise made in 1944. Whatever happens, we'll come back for you. Okay, 30 years later.

Onoda was thus properly relieved of duty and he surrendered. He'd been living in the jungle for over 29 years. That's incredible. Just 29. How does that make you feel? I can't even fathom that amount of time because I just haven't got there in my life yet. But it's so close on us, round number. I know.

Would you prefer to wait it to 30 years? Absolutely, I would. Absolutely, I would. You know I would. Why are you joking? He lived in the jungle more than you ever exist. Yeah. It's insane.

It's incredible. It's crazy. He turned over his sword, his functioning rifle, which he'd kept in perfect working order. He held on to his non-functioning wrong. He will not let that go. I will fix this. Oh, interesting.

500 rounds of ammunition. He still had 500 rounds. And several hand grenades. I mean, an unlimited supply of hand grenades. He handed that back. As well as the dagger his mother had given him in 1944 to kill himself if he was ever captured. Sorry, Mum.

Remember, that's the crazy mum that instructed him to stab himself when he was six. Jesus. Although he had killed. many people, including innocent farmers and engaged in shootouts with police, the circumstances, namely the fact that he believed the war was still going, were taken into consideration and Onoda received

a pardon from the Filipino president Ferdinand Marcos. Onoda was so popular following his return to Japan that some Japanese people urged him to run for Japanese government. He decided not to do this. What skills would he have to be a

politician? He'd hardly know how to talk to people. He can't do anything. He doesn't I don't know what anything is. Cookinups for all. Everyone gets a banana. One banana. Kill the farmers. They're undercover.

He also released an autobiography called No Surrender, My 30 Year War. He was very famous, but he did not like what he saw. Japan had changed so much in 30 years. Yeah. He did not like the tall buildings, automobiles, or the culture he saw as the withering of traditional Japanese values. I would have broken his heart. Everything he was fighting for against the Americans. Yeah, and then it's all there.

It's all there, like, the ideals that he'd held on to for 30 years, living in the same fucking underpants. And now everyone's got these flashed bloody Calvin Klein's on. Japan recovered quite well from the Second World War? Is it a losing... Because after the Second World War, there was some lessons learned after the First World War where the punishment really pushed the losing nations into poverty

and kind of brought on Second World War. Is that right? And also, I believe that... Japan did quite well because one of the conditions was you're not allowed to have a big army anymore. So then they spent the money that was going into their big military on other stuff, which actually helped develop the economy quite well. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.

In April 9, and also, you know, how Japan became quite a tech-savvy nation leading the way in many things. I imagine because it's that kind of thing. But it's very different from 1945 Japan. Yeah, he remembered. In April 1975, he followed the example. of his elder brother and left Japan for Brazil where he raised cattle and lived in a Japanese colony. Wow. He married the following year.

Onoda returned to Japan in 1984 and established the Onoda Nature School, an educational camp for young people, held at various locations in Japan. He revisited Lubang Island in 1996 and donated $10,000 US dollars for a local school there. I imagine that's a bit of a peace offering. Sorry, but... I shot your dad. And setting fire to your house again. Old habits die hard. Burn the school!

On a diet of heart failure on the 16th of January 2014, aged 91. Wait, what? 2014? Not that long ago, yeah. We're 91. Which says a lot about an all-coconut diet. That was in our life.

Yeah, mate. Like, nearly in the podcast life. The next year the podcast started. We almost lived in the same universe Okay Cross over We still kind of did Did we though?

We do live outside the podcast No we don't Low When asked if he Low Was it before he He pronounced lol weird Lowl

Lowl That's how young people say it Oh Get with the times Matt The old man I don't know what I was thinking Calling you out on How you pronounce

a word. That isn't a word. Yeah, I've never heard said out loud. Loll, that's not true. I've heard Lull said a lot. What am I talking about? I've lost it. Let Dave talk.

I'm so close to the end. Me too. You are, you're so old. So old. End of it all. Every time we come in here, it's like the podcast is your deathbed. No.

It feels like anyone could be the last. But before he died, Anoda was asked if he regretted his decision to live in the jungle for nearly 30 years. He said, fucking I for did. Are you kidding me? I noticed I added that his mind had been on nothing but accomplishing my duty. He regretted nothing and was proud of his choices.

That's incredible. I'd feel a little silly. You would, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'd feel a bit silly. What, man, what was he? His days, just, he gets up in the morning for 30 years and goes out, more war on. Let's get ready for war.

Let's get burning. Let's get burning. Empty houses, this will. Bloody bring us closer to the end. Anoda, why don't we sleep in the house and wear the clothes? Fucking burn it. Burn it all. Insubordination.

I'll burn you. But did Suzuki ever see a panda or the abominable? Abominable snowman. Abominable. After finding a notice, Suzuki quickly found a wild panda and claimed to have spotted a Yeti from a distance by July 1975, hiking in the Himalayas.

He married in 1976, but did not give up on his quest. Suzuki died in November 1986 in an avalanche while searching for the Yeti. His remains were discovered a year later and returned to his family. Wow. He died looking for the Yeti. That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. What a fucking imbecile.

Yeah. To believe in something. Do you have a trick to say imbecile, Jess? Mbysile? I would never say something so offensive. Well, you're fucking just as bad. The only thing to add is that Onoda, who'd been out for nearly 30 years, he was the second last Japanese soldier or person for the Japanese army to surrender.

Terro Nakamura, who was a Taiwanese man who fought for the Japanese army, was discovered hiding out in Indonesia a few months later. Oh, he missed out by a couple of months. He was the last man to surrender, but at the time he spoke neither Japanese or Chinese. spoke the local Taiwanese language and decided to retire back to Taiwan so he didn't get the big fanfare that Anoda did. Wow.

And his story is quite interesting. So that's why he is probably the most famous of the Holdouts. Japanese holdouts. That's amazing. You've listed all your band names on our Patreon newsletter last week, Dave.

Maybe that would be a good one. The Japanese holdouts. Dave Warniky and the Japanese holdouts. Yeah, I like it. I like it. also came up with it so it makes sense but that's a really good idea yeah thank you now before we sign off on this week's episode we've got to thank our patreon supporters thanks to everyone that supports us every single month we do a little bonus episodes we have a newsletter that comes out all

these kind of extra stuff that you can get on patreon.com so do go on pod if you support us and one of those things is if you pledge a certain amount we will give you a shout out a personal thank you at the end of the episode and I'm going to give one each now and I would like to start proceedings if I may. Please proceed. Have you guys heard of Alexander the Great? Yeah. Have you heard of William the Conqueror? Yeah.

What if I was to tell you I found a man that was better than both of them put together. Gett-A. Dave, this segment isn't about talking about me. You should talk about one of the patrons. Don't wink at me. Matt, I don't know. I'd like to thank, not you, not Alexander the Great, not William the Conqueror, but Alexander Williams. Ooh.

Thank you, Alexander Williams. I see what you were doing there. Are you giving me a thumbs down? Alexander Williams is a great guy. He supports this a lot, and I'd like to think that one day he will rule the known world, just like Alexander the Great did. Yeah, thanks Alexander. It's too late for him to rule my known heart, because he already does it. What?

He rules my heart. cool, man. Oh, you shut the fuck up. You get out. That's it. No, good on you. Thanks. Thanks for, you know, being here and laughing sometimes, which is the thing that you do of value.

Just thank someone, Matt. I'd like to thank someone, Dave. Would you mind if I just took a moment? If you could just do it quickly. This guy is a guy that he gets on us a bit. He's one of the buffest listeners we have. Interesting. Yeah, super buff.

He's buff. Yeah, he's real buff. That's my kind of guy. Yeah, you love him buff. I love people that remind me of myself. Yeah, it's like looking into a mirror. When you look at his profile picture, you're like, am I replying to myself in this tweet?

I have caught myself saying that. And, I mean, for that alone, Adam Stoltz, I would love to thank you. Oh, Adam Stoltz. But for so much more. Thanks so much for the support. And just, you know, having the ability to pull a granny out of a tree if she got stuck up there or whatever.

Definitely do that. You could change the light bulb. Oh man. If he doesn't crush it with his bare hand. Yeah. Nah, but he's gentle. That's the thing about him.

I would also like to thank someone and it's such good timing as well because we got a message last week from one of our listeners. I'll just, because I'm notoriously bad at these. You guys always come up with some sort of fun pun name or some sort of joke about it. And I'm really bad at it. I wouldn't call it either a fun, a pun. or, no, it's probably a pun, but it's not fun or a joke. No, but I, the only thing that I, like, let's give, like, okay, my joke for today was Antiques Roadshow, so I'm not great at this.

I'm not great at this whole comedy podcast thing, but we're trying. I've been given permission by Sam Jones, who is who I would like to thank, who messaged us this week and said, I need to apologize in advance. I'm on Patreon, and I can't help but notice my name does not lend itself to puns. So feel free to invent a suitable. middle name if that helps. Oh. Which I said, and I replied and I said, that is incredibly kind because I am bad at this.

Thank you for that. And I guess you've had a bit of time to think about it. And I hadn't thought of anything because I don't have to because Sam loves the podcast as it is. And he recognised my floor, the floor, the only one I have, my pelvic floor. He recognised it from a picture. It's like, that's a Perkins pelvic floor. And he said, you know what, Jess, I love you anyway.

How you are. You're bad at these thanks, but just make up a middle name. So his middle name's reginald. Oh, that's a great middle name. That's good. And thank you, Sam, because you are genuinely great. And you tweet to us a lot and we really appreciate your support and you're great. My part of probably would have been Sam of Thrones or same.

Fuck off. Yeah, that's great. Same of Jones. Fuck, that's so good. Is it? Yeah, well, it's better than anything else I've ever thought of. It's like Game of Thrones two ways. I would have just said it.

I would have been some sort of keeping up with him. I would have tried to keep it. I would have said something like, he's just so fast. Yeah. One thing I could never do is keep up with this guy. Sure. I'm Jonzing for his support. Okay, see, this is why you guys are all great at that,

but Sam Jones recognizes that I'm not and he says it's fine that I'm not. And I wish you guys would be this. understanding is Sam Jones. What I would have done. The middle name Reginald is a great one, though. Thanks, yeah, thanks. That is better than anything I've ever said in my life, so just fucking calm down for a minute, would you,

and just appreciate the brilliance of your head. And your face and your mouth that says the words. Tell me it doesn't. Your face says that your face doesn't, but your face is wrong because your face says it. Please stop. All right, I'm going to cut you both up there and say, we're going to wrap it up there.

guys, thank you so much for listening. This has been a weirder episode, listeners. Tell me I'm wrong. It's late. Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you. Tweet me, I'm wrong. You can't.

You can't. I bet you won't. That's just, you're begging for tweets. Can you just let Dave wrap it up? I'm just going to say all the usual stuff, guys. Like, get in contact with us through, and you can suggest topics. You don't have to be on Patreon to suggest topics, but if you are there, you can vote on Matt's topics.

He puts a vote out every single... There'll be a vote out right now. Every episode he does. Vote on that. And of course, that's Patreon.com. slash do go on pod. We're on Facebook at do go on pod. Instagram at do go on pod. Twitter at do go on pod. We throw out

heaps of extra stuff every single week. Jess underscore Perkins. Tweets, little jokes. We do photos of dumb things that relate to the episodes. So get involved in that. We also have our individual shows each of us. I'm Matt Stewart. That's Jess Perkins there that I'm pointing to. You can see in your mind. I wonder how do you picture this room? Yeah, I wonder.

And I wonder if they picture the order we sit in. Send your artist impressions to Peeceau. I genuinely love whenever we get a fan up, but I'm not going to ask for it. That'd be weird and needy. But I'm going to ask, if you actually do want to, would you send us a letter because I'm willing to set up a PO box? Yeah, that'd be fun. I want to go to that little, like, little set of boxes with a key and like open it like 3am,

like, ooh. But I find it stressful managing like Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Now we're adding a whole new element. Yeah, but you only have to reply once a month. You know, you go and you don't have to go all the time. And also there would be unlikely to be more than one letter a month either. And also, but before that, leading up to that, the week before that, the festival starts, it is the Planet Broadcasting, Podcasting Network launch in Hawthorne.

It's March 25th, Saturday afternoon, lots of stuff going on. There's people from our podcast will be there, filthy casuals, dragon friends, Auntie Donna. We've got James, Mr. Sunday movies. We've got Nick Mason, Mesa from the weekly planet. And the fans of the weekly planet will know that that will be their first. time anyone will have seen his face publicly. I'm excited to see his face. I've never seen it.

Matt has. You've seen his face. He's a very good-looking man. His hair wasn't as long and blonde as I always pictured it, though. It's annoying to have a good-looking person hide their face. It's like, I'm throwing mine out there all the fucking time. Dave, you are gorgeous. Thank you.

Begging for compliments and they're always paid. Appreciate that a lot. No, no, Dave. I think you're on the right track early. You hideous piece of shit. Matt, always too truthful at the end of the show. You can email us at do go on pottergimel.com, get the ideas. Any feedback you've got.

Tell us if you would write the letter. But until next week, we will say thank you and we will say goodbye. Later. Bye. And it takes red show. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester.

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