Do Go On - 76 - The Kray Twins

Episode Date: April 5, 2017

Our first ever LIVE EPISODE! Recorded at the Imperial Hotel as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Bop had the big task of delivering the first ever live report AND dealing with our first ever time limit! What a task! We talked about The Kray Twins - the scariest British mobsters of the '60s! Jess' life was made complete when the audience said her catchphrase, Dave broke Jess with his facial expressions and Matt ended up sitting in the audience and leading a revolution.  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to Do Go On. My name is Jess Perkins.

I am without the boys at the moment because this week's episode is actually our first ever live Do Go On. It was so incredibly exciting. As part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, we recorded our first ever show on the 2nd of April, 2017 at the Imperial Hotel. We had such a good time hanging out with. with some of the listeners and getting to do this live in front of people. It was super strange, but just the absolute best. So what we've got for you is a really fun report. I hope you enjoy it.

You'll be able to hear other people other than the three of us, which is a bloody treat. So enough rambling for me. Without further adieu, I will now throw to the first ever live. Do go on. Enjoy. Best ever live do go on right here at the... I think I stand. I don't know what to do.

You can do what you like. As long as I tell you that you are at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. How you doing? Yeah. Hello, my name is Dave and I'm standing on stage. That's right. I'm about to sit on stage with two of the best. We have one of the best beards in the business.

It is Mr. Matt Stewart, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. What a pleasure to be here. Hey, how are you going? From Ballarat. Yes, alright. Not now, man had just identified a man with the red bead in the crowd and said, Hey.

Nice. Hey. That is what happened as well. Yes, that is totally what happened. And I'm also on stage with the best laugh in the biz for sure. It's just Pocons, you gentlemen. Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for being here.

This is so cool. Oh my goodness. We are very excited that you actually turned up. Yeah. That you're people. You're real. Normally, you're just numbers to us. and now you just cash to us

so we're all good ones Hey quick quick round of applause for who's listened to the podcast before All right Has anybody And there's no shame in this Has anybody been dragged along by a friend

And you have no idea where you are Is you, okay Welcome They put their hands up instead of clapping Which is very polite Obviously you never heard the show before We're very clap centric on this show But we will get that

No thank you that's a great Welcome. This is a safe place. Yeah, this is very safe. Do you want to explain to her what this is about? I think Dave will do that. Oh, great. Well, if you haven't heard the show or seen the show or clapped along with the show at home,

this is a show where one of us does a report on a topic that the other two have no idea they are going to talk about. And for our first ever live show, we've handed over the reins to one Jessica Perkins. You idiots. To report on a topic that Matt and I genuinely have no idea what you're about to talk about. That's right.

Yeah, what an exciting time in my life. It's also dangerous, I think, because usually if it's, say, for example, an offensive or racist topic, we could just hit delete when we go into the studio. Because we so often do offensive and racist topics. What you will not know is that we've released

75 of 600 episodes recorded so far. Oh, boy, do we have some opinions. Oh, God. I don't know if you know this about Dave, but he has a certain sympathy. That is not true. That is not true. Hey, I also want to point out that some of you may have noticed

that Matt has got a beer in his hand, which is two character. Oh, all right. I mean, I'm also holding a cider, but, you know, it's... What I'm most worried about tonight is, apart from talking over you and not being able to edit it out to make me not seem like a bad feminist, but also I'm worried about the fact that we normally don't have any time restraints at all, and we've started to roll out over two-hour episodes. Today, we've got to keep it to...

Someone just nodded like... Yeah, two hours. It's a long time. Yeah, you have. We recently got a Facebook message and just said, guys, I love the show, but learn to fucking edit.

That's the worst part that we every week we edit out about 20 minutes. Oh, it's terrible. We're just good mates. We like having a chat. No, but today we will keep it... Well, we have to keep it to time,

or Ellen will kick us out of here anyway, so that's good, I guess. It's nice to have a... mother figure to discipline us. Yeah, well, you don't want to get to the halfway through the episode and you guys not know what happens and we have to go into some sort of alleyway out in Melbourne. You gather around and we say, and the end of the story was, no one knows, it's a mystery, it's a mystery episode.

That could happen, that could happen. And then we get beaten up. Not another mystery. Yeah, okay, so it is my turn. Do you want me to just get stuck in because we are under time constraints? Did you write a question? Oh, yeah, the bandit has been strong. Yeah. Did I write a question?

Did you write a question? Matthew, do you know me at all? Well, to the lady that hasn't no idea what's going on. We normally start the show with a question, and then that somehow... That annoys people listening at home, because they already know the topic, but we don't.

And you don't either. I spoke to our listener Rowan downstairs, who's one of our Patreon supporters, and he told me that this is the first time that he'll be hearing the episode and also not knowing what the topic is. So this 10 minutes at the start is actually not annoying for us. So that's good.

For once. Because normally... because normally get on with it. We know, we live these lives. We'll learn to edit and you'll learn to hit the skip button. That's what we'll do. So Jess, over to you for your question to get us on topic. My question that I am writing in my head as I speak right now.

And if we can't get it, then you guys can help us out. Jump in, this is exciting. But let Matt have a terrible go first. Because it's amusing. It's going to be very distracting as well because, like, well, we are stand-up comedians. So it's kind of like having an audience. I just feel, I'm always like, ah? I've got a report to do so.

None of that, you guys. There will be no comedy on this show. You didn't come here for the laughs. Okay, my question, boys and audience, is, who are the coolest... Oh, God. British mobsters of the 60s. The coolest British...

I panicked. What are you basing coolness on? I mean, just being... Is it the Beatles? Because they stole everyone's hearts? No. We've done them. Oh yeah, of course.

We actually... I had never... I'd never heard of these particular people. Are they related to each other? Yes, Matthew. I think I know what it is. I can't think of their name. John, Paul.

Yes. George. Yes. And what was it, Pete Best? Yes. You nerd. Good twist there. Okay, yeah.

What do you think? I said there wasn't going to be... any comedy and then you come up with that. Thank you so much. What are you thinking? Matt, you... It's the... It's not the Von Traps but it's something like that.

Isn't it? The Von Trapp twins. It is the something twins. The Crapp twins? No, but get rid of the last letter. The Crair twins. The cray twins. Anybody who heard of the cray twins?

A couple of hands raised. Let's throw it over to the audience. Hang on, I heard a yo. Was that mum? Is that you, mum? Have you heard of them? Yeah. Oh, cool.

That's my mum. Anyway, so there you go. The cray twins. A few people have heard of them. A few people haven't. How about a round of applause that you've heard of the cray twins? How about a round of applause if you are one of the cray twins?

Oh! We've got both in tonight. This is good. They could fill in any gaps. Of which there'll be many. Okay. So I'm not actually O'Fay with the craye in any respect. Did you think of that as soon as we said cray?

No, that just came out of me. I am a bad band. That just came out of me. A lot of stuff comes out of me, and that is one of the things I'm less proud of that comes out of me. O'Fay with craye. Anyway, okay, I will start us off. So, Ronnie and Reggie Cray, also great names. There's a lot of good nicknames through this one, by the way.

Oh, my God, the best. Anyway, Ronnie and Reggie Cray. They were born on the 24th of October 1933. Oh, that has just made my fucking life. Yes, yes. I'm done. That is so good. Jess has left the stage.

I'll take it over here. She often does that back in the studio. That is the best thing that's ever happened. I can't believe you guys did that. Don't encourage her. Don't read ahead. This is a great story, guys. You're going to love this.

For the lovely listeners of people here today who haven't heard before, that's my catchphrase. It's probably one of the coolest catchphrases that's ever existing. A good year. It sounds like someone from Antiques Roadshow, valuing some wine. Oh, a good year, though. Oh, a good year.

That's how I mean it also. Okay, so they'll bond on the 24th of October, 1933, to Charles David Cray, who is a scrap gold dealer. So that, he sounds fun already. Does he go through Ben's looking for gold? What if someone's thrown out their gold? That's very unlikely. Where else are you going to find it?

So they were identical twins. Reggie was 10 minutes older than Ronnie. I bet he always had... Always for him. I bet. They didn't really seem to have the easiest of childhoods. When the twins were three years old, they contracted diphtheria. It's just really hard to say.

Ah, a good disease. If you're going to get any, that's a good one. That's a good disease. A good disease. And also Ronnie almost died when they were nine years old from a head injury he suffered in a fight with his brother. Sounds like my childhood. But you had diphtheria and then you got bashed by your brother.

Yeah. While your dad was diving for gold in a bin. Gold scrap, what the fuck is that? I've never heard that. Have you heard of that? A gold scrap. Anyway, I don't know. At the beginning of the Second World War, their father Charles, who was 32 at the time,

was conscripted into the army, but he refused to go and went into hiding. Because there ain't no gold in the trenches. He's looked. He's like, nah, I'm good. Now their grandfather, his name was Jimmy Cannonball Lee, nicknamed Cannonball. Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah, that's real good. First of many good nicknames for this one. Cannonball Lee, he encouraged them to take up amateur boxing, and sibling rival really spurred them on and both achieved some success in their boxing careers. So what their grandfather's done is he's seen one of the twins bash the other twins and said, I know what you need to do.

You need to learn to punch professionally. You need to improve your technique. That's not a good cannonball of a gun film. They said to have never lost a match before they turned professional at age 19. So they were good little boxes. Had they ever done a match then? No, but, you know. Because I also have never lost a boxing match.

Matt, have you? Yeah, yeah. Just been in the one and it was not good. Good to know. Look at my face. Oh, jeez, that was a real moment early. Hey, hey. That's fine.

All right, I'm going to go on. All right, please do. Thank you. Now, the Cray twins were notorious for their gang that they formed and for its violence, and they narrowly avoided being sent to prison many times. Conscription was quite normal back in the day in that time, and they were called up to serve with the Royal Faciliers. Is that right?

Thank you. Thank you to... That's what I said. Major fact check up in the back there. We appreciate that. We'll be chiming in with all the military history of this episode.

So they were called up to serve with her services in 1952. They reported, so they turned up, but they attempted to leave after a couple of minutes. They're like, hey, we're here. Nah.

They're slightly better than their dad. Yeah, they at least turned up. So the corporal in charge tried to stop them, Ronnie punched him on the chin, leaving him seriously injured, and they walked home. They just went home. And then they arrested the next morning and turned over to the army. So they were in the army at some point.

But they didn't really want to be there, which is interesting. Now, while in the army but technically absent without leave, they assaulted a police constable who tried to arrest them one night. These are nice boys. This is a fun fact. They were among the last prisoners held at the Tower of London before they were transported, to the Shepton Mallet military prison. Is that true?

Yes. No, you're right. The first one was malitary. Malatory. Their behaviour in prison was so bad that they both received dishonourable discharges from the army. They tried to dominate the exercise area outside their one-man cells. They were only in prison for a few weeks and they're like,

nah, we own this place. I like them. Jess always sides with the more violent characters in the show I like a bad boy They threw tantrums They emptied their latrine buckets over a sergeant They dumped a container full of hot tea on another guard They handcuffed a guard to their prison bars

With a pair of stolen cuffs And they set fire to their bedding Would you rather have poo put on you Hot tea or would you rather be set on fire? I mean, what a question Dave Matt Can't we have all So they were moved to a communal cell

where they assaulted their guard with a china vase Hang on, so they're in solitary confinement They're fucked up so then they're put out of solitary confinement Yeah, they're put with other bad people What's wrong with this prison? No, no, that'll be that we'll teach them. All right, my next bit is they're going to have learnt their lesson and I think there's a real twist coming here

where they start to, you know, just teach kids Good stuff mainly and how to be nice. They go into, yeah, yeah, it's philanthropists. Floreanthropy on the side. I've heard this one before, but go on anyway. It's a good story. I'm interested to hear your take on it. So they assaulted a guard and they escaped and they were quickly recaptured and awaited

to transfer to civilian authority for crimes committed while at large and they spent their last night drinking cider, eating crisps and smoking cigarillos courtesy of the young National Servicemen acting as their guards. out just hanging out a couple of rad doves. Cigarillos. I've never heard cigarettes said so wrong. You were very close. Cigarillas. You're a maniac. As we know, I mean, we know that well.

You guys know that well. You do worry sometimes, yeah. Are you talking to me when you say you do worry? No, I don't worry at all. I'm not that sure. Look, I've been zoning in and out so far. I'm just trying to hold on to what this stuff. to hold on to what this story's about. Two guys, right? This is what I've heard so about.

Two guys having a bit of a tough time, but, you know, things are looking good now, right? Is that where we're at? Did you hear, like, one minute of the past ten? Yes. This happens a lot. Yeah, he zones out a lot, but that's okay. We zone out on his as well, so it's fine.

I've got a very relaxing voice. It's very soothing. It's like meditation. Okay, so then we move. on to their criminal careers because their criminal records and their dishonourable discharge from the army sort of ended their boxing careers. Oh, now that's the saddest thing I've heard so far. They were quite promising.

Oh, we just want to... What? They had a promising career. They were unbeaten. I mean, they were unbeaten. I mean, they never fought, but they were unbeaten. So they never got to fight. They never got to fight.

No, well, so because they were bad boys, they didn't... The boxing community were like, no, thank you. Only nice boys for us. And so the brothers turned to crime full time. You know, they were like, let's settle down and commit to crime. So they bought a rundown snooker club in Bethnal Green where they started several... Oh, shut up!

I thought they were just... We're having fun too. We're learning, you nerds. Yeah, wrestling nerds. Who would ever talk about wrestling? Oh, we did. Three weeks ago, for two hours. two hours.

I was starting to plug their podcast at the end of that episode and then Jess I think was like, you know they clash with us? And anyway, look, it sounds like probably brought in a crowd for them. Yeah, that's right. They're welcome. They're only full because of our plug.

They're welcome. Let's move in, alleyway out, don't beat them up. No one in here is like, fuck, we're in the wrong room, right? They're like, yeah, but when are they going to talk about wrestling? I'm getting to it. This incredible long backstory

that they've created for a new wrestler called the craye twins and it's one dude with split personalities but they're both just a thug the first one-man tag team champion that would be awesome that would be cool

okay so the craye twins who are two people they bought a snooker club and they started several protection rackets right so like you give us a couple bucks I can't do accents No, but have a go You want Matt to do it

Agreed, Matt Come on Give me my line So, you know You give us money and we'll protect you Oh, oh hey there Good squire Give me a couple of dollars

Pounds And we'll look after you A quick smart, right yo A cup of tea Alright Pretty good, really good Don't clap because Jess ask you to clap

I told you I'm like audience That was the most threatening thug I've ever Cup of tea Ooh ah Cup of tea Oh he means business Oh hello Well you know what they did with tea

Just recently Cup of tea on your fucking face Oh yeah Cup of tea on your fucking face Put that on a t-shirt. Are we swearing today? I can't remember. Too late.

Any kids? All right. Too late. Live at the Melbourne International preschool. I'm so sorry. So these toddlers very confused. Okay, so they've got their protection ring. And by the end of the 1950s,

the crais were involved in hijacking, armed robbery, and arson, through which they acquired other clubs and properties. I just beat their way around, which is great. I think that's savvy business. That's terrible. In 1960, Ronnie Cray was in prison for 18 months

for running a protection racket and related threats. While Ronnie was in prison, a guy called Peter Ratchman, head of a violent landlord operation. You know those violent landlords? I just complained to mine about my key won't open the front door. No more are they going to pour a latrine bucket on my head? I'm so sorry.

I don't need to get it. inside after all. That comes around. All right there. Problem with your key there, do you? All right? Well, we got two options. One of them involves this latrine bucket. Okay, what's option two? Option two, I'll just let you in. No worries at all.

What do you choose? Choose wisely. It's terrible. In my mind, I already chose one before I had two. No, all right, here's the bucket. Have a good one, no. Nah, he's the key. Good on you. Have a nice day. So now you've dumped the bucket on him, and you're, giving him a key. I'm very confused.

Look, it was a weird act out, but I enjoyed it. That would have been edited out if we could edit it. Man, I do some act out to get edited out. I'm trying to himself. I go out, I get out of the jump, I come back, he's still talking like a cockney. He doesn't realise we've gone. In 1960, Ronnie Craig, oh no, I already said that. Never mind, I would have edited that out.

Peter Ratchman, he was the violent landlord. He gave Reggie a nightclub called Esmeralda's Barn on the Knightsbridge End of the Wilton Place next to a bistro called Jones Kitchen. Now that is a fun sentence to say in that accent. And I'll try. He's gone and given Reggie a nightclub called Esmeraldas Barn down on Knightsbridge. Fuck you. It's down on the Knights Bridge end of Wilton Place.

place. My character also has a speech impediment. Hey, it's real. It's very endearing. Esmeralda's barn is the most English-sounding nightclub I've ever heard. It's both... Is it barn? You're nothing to follow that up with. Is it a club barn themed?

Like, I mean, what I just said makes no sense at all. Barn? Oh, it's so English. Esmeralda, the most English name I've ever heard. What are I talking about? I think I might sit the rest of the episode out, actually. No, no, no, you stay here and you just zone in and out as you do. So him getting this new nightclub sort of increased their influence in the West End by making them celebrities as well as criminals.

You really can have it all. Imagine how our celebrities these days were people that owned nightclubs. Well, I mean, there's famous mobsters. Shane Warren owns Bar 23 at Crank Casino. No, Bar Ngu. Barn 20. And it is barn themed. And also Warnie themed.

It's a pastiche of all the best things about England. You know, English barns. I'm looking at him like, you did this. You did this. You did this to us. Okay. So in the 60s, they were widely seen as prosperous and charming celebrity nightclub owners and were part of the Swinging London scene.

I thought Swinging London scene, I thought clicking on that link was going to take me to like, here's what a swinger is, but no, it's just like it was art and culture and other bullshit, so. Do you need us to tell you what a swinger is? Yes.

No. Well, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, well, they also love everyone else very much. They have a party. With the keys in the bowl. In a barn. With their keys in a barn.

You throw your keys in a barn And then you feel around And try and find the keys And then you go home And you call you weird land Okay so a large part of their fame Was due to their non-criminal activities Which is good

As popular figures on the celebrity circuit They were photographed by Famous photographer David Bailey On more than one occasion So like more than once means you're fancy They socialised with lords, MPs Socialites and show business characters including actor Judy Garland and singer Frank Sinatra.

Ever heard of him? Love Frank. They were mates with Frank, which is kind of cool. He was a bad boy of crooning as well though, Frank. I think maybe the baddest boy of crooning. Interesting. Name a bad a boy of crooning. You can't.

Michael Booblay. Booblay, all right, yeah, fair enough. He's a bad boy. The boobs. Frank is top two. Frank's the top two bad boy of crooning. Anyway, this is a quote from Ronnie Cray, from his autobiography, called My Story.

Absolutely shocker. Absolutely shocking. It should have been called My Cray Life. Or My Life, dot, dot, dot, it was, or It's So Cray. My Life, It's So Cray. My story. My story. Yeah.

Look, they weren't creatives. Anyway, so this is a quote. Creatives. Creative. Creative. My life story. This is a quote from Ronnie. He said they were the best years of our...

Actually, Matt, do you want to read it in the accent? Not really. Yeah, okay, cool. Read this bit. Read that bit there. I'm not wearing my glasses. Come on, Dad. What that?

They were the best years of our lives. They called them the swinging 60s. The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, were rulers of pop music. My favorite bit is that Dave is mouting along. I'm making sure he doesn't say the wrong thing that his glasses. Carnaby Street ruled a fashion world

and made me brother rule of London. We were fucking untouchable. Oh yeah. I felt tough. Yeah. Anyone want to take me on now? Like you did earlier for some reason. Yeah?

Beard on beard. Action. What's going on? Is that your biography? Beard on beard action. Beard on beard action, yeah. Come up with a better one. I like that you think you said a tough after you went,

we were fucking untouchable. Oh, tough guy. Is that even English? I don't know. I'm not sure anymore. What I was doing there was the guy from that coffee out in the 90s, which you guys are too young to remember. Here we go.

Referencing something from the 1890s. Here we call out of the guy. Yeah, tell us the story, Dad. Oh, yeah, good point. No, go on. No, no, no, you go on. No, we want that. Does anyone remember that ad?

There was a guy in the supermarket goes... And he said, I was fucking untouchable. She goes, oh, you're so exotic. And she thinks he's from somewhere else, right? And then he goes, so she's expecting him to have a different accent. And he goes, oh, swampy. How wonderful. Huh, worth telling.

Thank you. Got a round of applause. Matt just quoted an obscure ad and got a round of applause. This is the best. It was a big hit ad. If you were alive. then you would have loved it and I reckon you would have been you would have been applauding me yourself

to be honest. Just like they did moments ago the silence you're hearing now there's nothing on that. It's respect it's respectful silence and them thinking hurry the fuck up and I shall. The craze also came into the public attention in July of 1964

oh great if I hold long enough someone will say it 1964 with an ex-posé I love that word so much in the tabloid newspaper Sunday Mirror insinuating that Ronnie had had a sexual relationship with Lord Boothi who was a conservative

politician. You're loving it Boothi? It's pretty good. It sounds weird. I'm Lord Boothi. I'm not taking that guy seriously at all. So apparently they had insinuated that they had had a sexual relationship at the time when male homosexuality was still a criminal offence

in the UK. Male homosexuality. Yeah, that's what I noticed when I read it I was like, female homosexuality, totally fun. Interesting. I was okay. Male home's not okay at the time. I'm just avoiding that so much.

Probably. I don't want to say the wrong thing here. So, Matt was looking at me like, huh? Is that right? Is that right? And I'm like, I'm not an expert in criminal law from the 1960s. Interesting.

You said you left it alone, but you talked more about it than anyone else. Now, the thing about the 1960... Okay. So, yeah, there was this expose. Although no names were printed in the piece, the twins threatened the journalist involved and who'd be... No names were printed in the piece.

No, but they... A man and a man had a relationship. All right. I think I know who they're talking about. They're talking about me, and I'm going to fucking kill him. But, mate, you could have probably just left this one alone, and no one would have even looked at you. This is crazy.

It's crazy. It's crazy. A charming face The way, I don't really like it that much Because normally we'd be sitting more like this Yeah So do you mind if we do it like this? Yeah

Is that okay with you guys? Is that alright? Is that all right? I don't do that much face work So Let me know if this is troubling in any way But it makes me feel more comfortable I feel so weird up there

No good Alright Yeah You're all right with this? He looks disappointed. Dave's a real showman and he follows like show rules. He's got the big showy voice and that sort of... I follow the show rule if you shouldn't host the show from the audience.

Oh, with your back to the audience. Yeah, very old school. Frank Sinatra doesn't follow rules like that. Okay. I'm from the Frank's school the showbiz. And the Frank school says, fuck you, Dave. Now, Matt, I want to point out to you, you didn't see this, but there's a gentleman of the front row. Forgive me, I don't know your name.

You don't know your name either. Fair enough, fair. But what happened was, he was being watched the show for half an hour, hasn't taken a photo. Matt sat with his back to the man. He pulls out a camera and takes a photo. Like, this has been the highlight of the show. Matt's back of his head. I feel like the front of my head should be offended by that.

You got a good back ahead It's not, I'm unaware enough To take that as a compliment You're comfy, you're set? Yeah, anyway, I've got another beer I'm almost done I don't know, no, I don't have another beer with me For the benefit of everyone at home

Matt has decided to leave the stage Sit in the crowd and face Jess and I Generally, if this is no good, let me know Pull your pants up I don't know why I decided to wear the smallest pants I own. These are Dave Warnocky's size and I've squeezed into them.

It's great that we're doing this on the one episode we have time constraints. Yeah, great. Please do go on. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, there we go. Now I'm getting the worst view at it. This is awful.

Leave him. He's comfy. That groin is facing. It's looking at me. There were no names printed but I know who he's looking at. I know. I know. I'll fucking kill him. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, Brian.

I'm a little touchy on that subject. The 1960s was a horrible time. Now we just have to wait. No, fine. All right. We don't have a lot of time. Okay, what was I up to? Boothby.

Yeah, Boothby. Holy shit, that was minutes again. You did this. Okay. Okay, so no names were printed, but the twins were very upset. Weren't they, Dave? Oh, it's so good. I don't even know what Jess is laughing at.

Okay, right, so the twins threatened to beat up the journalist and Boothby threatened to sue the newspaper. And because of this, the newspaper backed down, they sacked their editor, they printed an apology, and they paid Boothby 40,000 pound in an out-of-court settlement. Wow, it's a lot of money. Which is, like, quite a lot of influence for these, like, scary twins to have, if you think about it.

Like, that's kind of weird. And because of this, other newspapers said, like they were unwilling to expose the craze connections in criminal activities, so they were kind of safe in the media now. They're a bit sneaky. If you want to get mad at beer while you're out, that's fine. I'm good, but thank you so much. So on several occasions, the police investigated the craze,

but the brother's reputation for violence made witnesses afraid to testify. So that's the other thing that kind of makes them safe. Like, nobody will speak out against them. Genius. Should we be, like, I don't want to guess the ending. Should we be worried that we're talking about them in a public forum? No, they did. So now I just want to talk about a few of their crimes and ordeals, if I may.

A few good crimes. A few good crimes. Ronnie Cray shot and killed George Cornell, who was an associate of the Richardson's, which was a rival gang. Less cool name than like the Cray Boys. That wasn't their gang name, but it should have been. What was their gang name? I don't know.

They don't have a gang name. craze the barn boys probably the barn boys that's a great name don't you at that the barn boys sorry about that Dave sorry to tisk there yeah nobody could see you tisking that's the thing I was tisking real hard you were tiskin so he shot and killed George Cornell at the blind beggar pub great pub name in Whitechapel on the 9th March in 1966 a good year I'll get to it blind Blindbeger Pub. That is the most English sound English.

Took me a sec to get that. I was like, oh, it's a reference from before. It was very witty. You're very funny. And also Whitechapel. Jack the Ripper, anybody? Yeah. Would anyone like Jack the Ripper?

I'm taking a request. We're selling abdomen capes. No, bowelcapes. Abteman. We'll be signing bowel capes after the show. You can B.Y.O. or we can supply you with one at a price to you. I don't want to explain to the people who've never heard

why we were talking about making cakes out of people's boughs. Can you eye the woman who hasn't seen this before? She's shaking her head. She's shaking her head. She's leaving, Matt. She's leaving. I'm out. Was bough cape? Was that the... Yeah, that was the line. That was the line. It's good to know where the line is.

You've got to know. Bail capes. won't talk about, she just went straight over my head. Bale Cave, straight over your head. That is a terrible thing to happen. That's not how you put them on for starters. Bale Cave, that's exactly where they go, straight over your head, around your neck. Around your neck.

Can we... Sorry. Please, do... Hey Jess, please, do go on. Thank you so much. So, George Cornell killed. Blind Beggar Pub in Whitechapel, 1966, a good year. The day before, there'd been a shootout at Mr. Smith's, which was a nightclub.

and that had involved the rival gang, right? So the two gangs that had... The Richie Riches. The Richie Riches. The Richardson gang. That's a good... That's much better than the Richardson's. Oh, I agree wholeheartedly, but I can't change history.

Oh. Listen to some of our preview episodes, I think we can. Good point. Good point. And at the shootout the night before, an associate of the craze, so like one of their gang members, Richard Hart, he was shot and killed. So a lot of people thought that Ronnie killing George Cornell

was like a like revenge, right? I've just like skipped ahead of myself which is probably smart. So for modern people they shot Biggie so we shot Tupac. Am I right? Wait, your modern reference is about 30 years old. Is that before he was born?

Yeah, I said that. No, he was about 1994. Okay, yeah, great. Right when you were in the peak of your... Yeah. If you're trying to get an alibi for me, where I was, the night that Biggie was gunned down. Yeah. Play group.

I genuinely probably would have been. You never know, it could have been a weekend. You could have been at home. You could have been doing any number of things. You were four. You were a bright kid. You're not bright enough to kill a man. Wait, is this bright? Perhaps too brights to kill a man.

It just makes you think, doesn't it? Really. You have, oh, okay, that is confusing. Jess, can you maybe take Dave's mic off him and do go on? If you were still on the stage, you'd be able to do that, wouldn't you? Yeah, it's too late for that. Too late for that. I've made my bed and chair, and I will sit in it.

Okay, so this is kind of a cool, I guess it's cool. I don't know, I'm a little bit sick, but I think this is kind of cool. So, there... Mate for Bob. The public shootout led to the arrest of nearly all of the Richardson gang, the Richie Riches. They all got arrested. I'm so glad you're calling them the Richie Riches. Yeah.

So this is the shootout like the night before, right? So Cornell, by chance, he wasn't there. He wasn't at the club during the big shootout, and he wasn't arrested. And so he was visiting the hospital to check up on his friends. And while he was sort of visiting, as he left, he chose to go to the blind beggar pub, which was only a mile away from where the craze lived. And Ronnie was drinking in another pub when he learnt that George Cornell was at the blind beggar. and so he rushed over there to confront him.

Apparently he walked into the bar, walked straight up to Cornell and shot him in the head in public view. Somebody else who was there as well was a bit confused. They fired other shots into the air as... I'm a bit confused here. You see your man's head get blown off.

I know my reaction. It's a natural thing. Saved the day again. Yeah, so that was... That was a little bit. I think it was warning the public not to report what had happened to the police. All of you keep your mouth shut.

Right. But he did that in Morse code with his game. Apparently just before he was shot, Cornell remarked, well, look who's here. Which is also Tupac's last words. Oh. What was it?

Flore. What was that? Is that true, Dave? That is absolutely untrue. But do we have proof that it's not true? Exactly. So it could be. I wasn't there that night.

Or was I? Well, look who's here. A four-year-old boy from Melbourne, Australia. Oh, shit. Not again. Little Davey Warding he did it again. Not again. And then he started firing into the air as he died.

He was confused, yeah. It really makes you think, doesn't it? No. Another one of their crimes. So this is on the 12th of December in 66, a good year. You're doing it to yourself now. Because if I don't want to pause for ages and then they'll get bored of it. Do you guys want to do it?

No. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, okay, now, fair enough. I know that you're sitting in the audience, mate. But you're supposed to be participating in this bit. You're there, Red. I'm the number one audience. Is there an audience union now?

Yeah. We've unionised and we'll fight you, motherfuckers. The big end of town. Am I right? Who's with me? What's the revolution? I'm not sure what we did to require revolting. Well, yeah, that's the point.

You don't know. We know. You've held us under your bloody big Nazi boots for too long. It's the biggest thing about him. This is very untrue. And I will sue you. I will sue you and you will pay me 40,000 pounds for what you've said. I will fucking kill you.

I'll fucking kill to love you! It's so good. It's fun to do it, it really is. It really is fun. It's fun to threaten a room full of people that have paid to be here. It's great. Room full of people who are lovely and supportive. Thank you so much

Thank you so much Have we mentioned They were really thankful of you guys being here No I mean us I'm one of you now Are you shouting the whole The whole gang drinks left I mean you've extrapolated a little bit

I mean you're the Union Rep And I think that's what Union Reps do So I guess you probably will be This is With Union Reps just buy everyone a random beers Well that's them safe for the year That is classic affluent East Jess Perkins

Who does not understand and how the working man and my struggle, our struggles. Beaver the Revolution! He's turned everyone against her, and I have no idea what we did. Well, privilege is what you did, Jess. Okay, bad feminist, that's great.

May I go on? Yes, please. Thank you. So, 12th of December, the craze helped Frank Mitchell the mad axeman. Fucking great nickname. Fuck, bop. Do you have to be called the mad axeman?

Yes, please. Or just the Maxman. You know I like portmanteaus. Anyway. A portmanteau of what? Max and Axe. Mad and Axeman. Oh, sorry. I missed the word man there. Mad.

Mad. The mad axeman. The sequel to Man Max. Max. They helped this guy, Frankman. the Maddaxman, to escape from prison. Ronnie had befriended Frank while they served time together in a different prison. And Frank felt that the authorities should review his case for parole,

as so many prisoners do. And so Ronnie thought that he would be doing him a favour by getting him out of prison, which would then highlight his case in the media and force the authorities to look into his parole review, which makes a lot of sense. So he's hoping by getting out he will be paroled. Yeah, yeah, if you break out of prison,

then they're going to take you more seriously, you know? Look, I'm already out anyway. Just run a stamp. See? Save you the paperwork. So that was their thinking. That's a terrible plan. What happened? I agree.

Well, once Frank was out of prison, the craze held him in a friend's flat just to give him a roof over his head. But he was a large man with a mental disorder, it says, and he was difficult to control. Eventually, he disappeared. I really haven't. that's the end of him.

He disappeared. Where'd he go? Not sure. No more questions, please. So the craze, they were acquitted of his murder. I mean, I don't think they ever found a body. So when you say, disappear, you're thinking that he disappeared. He disappeared.

Brigadier. He disappeared. He disappeared. He disappeared. Disappeared Major. Is that a rank? In the military. In the military. At the Royal...

So... So... So they broke a guy out of prison decided they didn't like living with him, so they took care of him. No, he just disappeared. They took care of his... See, now I wish they could see your face

because you are so fucking smug with that one. That's nice. That is not true. That is a poor re-enactment. No proof. Less beard. What? So a friend of there is Freddie Foreman, another great name.

Oh, that is really good. Good name. Freddie Foreman. He claimed in his autobiography, his autobiography was called Respect, which should have been Aretha Franklin's, but Freddie Foreman got there first. Also the title of Tupac's autobiography. I don't think you wrote one. He died very young.

So Freddie Foreman said that he shot Frank as a favourite of the twins and disposed of his body at sea, but nobody, like there's no proof of that. He could have just been like, yeah, I'm a pretty cool dude. Right. And when he published that, because he... I called him. I killed people. Was he worried that he'd be charged with murder? I think it was really just all about selling books, mate, you know?

Oh, great. So I can just claim that I killed lots of people. Expect no repercussions except millions of dollars. Correct. Oh, that sounds great. This is great. This is great. We'll do that. That's what we've been doing wrong on this podcast, is not admitting to crimes. Have we not?

You have. Oh. Oh, boy, you have. Okay, so we... I'll keep moving on because we we'd like to ramble but we do have time constraints so the

Hey everyone Bit of Shush please Yeah This is on you Keep it down I have been silent I have been listening Intently and I will pass the exam

At the end of this with flying colours I don't know about you Oh yeah there's an exam Sorry I've got to mention that Some of you probably would enjoy that I know There's a quiz at the end The Craze Criminal Activity

Remained behind their celebrity status And they're legitimate businesses I also like that legitimate is in quotation marks so I don't think they're legitimate at all. So I just want to really quickly ask, so they shot a man in the head in daylight and haven't got to jail for it? Yes.

That's amazing. That is. Or did he? That's amazing. If it was a bit darker. Matt's talking, I've got time. Daylight was the key point there, right? So they shot him in daylight,

there are no repercussions. But in your mind, if it was, you know, twilight or a bit later than that, then, you know, obviously. Obviously you'd get away. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's the rule. Are you with me?

I feel like I'm losing them. I really want him to say the revolution line on Mike, but he won't. Wait, wait, now that I've said it on Mike, he might. Wait, wait, wait. Beaver the revolution. He said it way more powerful. Yeah, because before he was speaking from the heart, with passion.

And now you're just going to, now you're just making him your little monkey. You know? My big monkey. Fuck, no. Just do go on. Thank you. Okay, this is good. Apparently, in October of 1966...

A good year. 66? That's the year the Saints won the... Oh, fuck on. Every fucking time. We will specifically avoid the 60s from now on, so you don't ever get to say that. What were Tism doing then? Tism.

They were going through high school, primary school. Primary school. Dad? Probably being born already. 66, yeah. Great, thank you. My dad went to school with one of the guys in TISC. Anyway, we talked about that.

You can chat to dad about that later. I can't wait to meet your parents. Specifically your dad, but also only. They already hate that I've pointed them out. Okay, so in October of 66, Reggie was encouraged by his brother to kill Jack the Hat McViddy. That's what we should call the hat.

Jack the Hat Mickvigree. Jack the Hat Mickvigree! That's good. Jack the hat. No, it has to be Jack the hat. McViddy. We have to remember that. I'm guessing that's how you said.

Chuck it in the McViddy. Chuck in the McViddy. Oh, that's the best. Who suggested this one? This is from the hat? Oh, I did forget to mention. Hang on. This is suggested by Jerome Williams via email.

So, yeah, that's in the hat because he emailed it. So yes. Is Jerome here by chance? Oh, you piece of shit, Jerome. What a dog. Suggesting them leave. The report's over. We're done.

I'm not going on with it. No, I will. Anyone got any other suggestions? No, not now. We have about 10 minutes left in our room slot here. We do need to... Dave, are you rushing me? I'll finish when I want to.

Thank you. Or what? You'll fucking kill me! No, I think we're on track. So Jack the Hat McViddy, he was a minor member of the cray gang who had failed to fulfill a £1,000 contract, half of which was paid to him in advance to kill someone called Leslie Payne. Another great name, but not a great fame.

Les Payne, hey, that's not a bad way to go. Oh, Les Payne. Les Payne. More, you know, time for your family. You cracked yourself up there. Oh, it was very good. He enjoyed that a lot. Okay, so he'd failed to fulfill his contract, so...

And he's in their gang. But Ronnie was like, hey, kill him to Reggie. So McViddy was lured to the basement flat on the pretense of a party. Like, hey, Jack the hat. You're coming to the party tonight. It's going to be sick. You're going to have the best time ever. One, it would be nice to die in your best clothes.

Only you would think of that. Yeah. Like, for example... What shirt would you die in, Dave? Probably this shirt. How fucking cool. If you wanted this shirt, you'd want to die as well. It's got huskies on it.

Is that from the Dilettov past? Wait, that's not right. Diadalov. You also just said we have ten minutes. Sit down. Sorry, sorry, please do you. You can show off his shirt later. To a party.

On the bounty. And, oh, that's a very recent episode. Jack, the hat, come to the party. Once he got there though, he saw Ronnie Cray seated in the front room and he's like, okay, well I must be early. Must be early to the party. As Ronnie approached him,

Ronnie let loose a barrage of verbal abuse and cut him below his eye with a piece of broken glass. It's believed that an argument then broke out. Is it at that point they realised I don't think this is a party? This is a weird party. But I like it. What an inefficient way to kill someone.

Take a little bit of glass. Just a small incision. just under the eye and then hope it gets infected in three to six weeks yeah copped that dickhead it's believed that then an argument broke out between the twins and...

Oh there's an argument after that oh hey hang on not on mate so weird you're sitting there but I also like it so that they're fighting as the argument got more heated Reggie Cray pointed a handgun at McViddy's head and pulled the trigger twice,

but the gun failed. Twice. That's an embarrassing thing. That's embarrassing. So, I mean, it's not written in history, but I'm pretty sure Jack the hat has well and truly shut himself by this point. You imagine that, like, click, click. Oh, no. Wait then.

Where's my other gun? So then McViddy was in, held in a bear hug, which seems kind of nice. by the twin's cousin Ronnie Hart. He'll never let you go. Hey, hey. Shh. Quick, given the support he deserves.

He's feeling very vulnerable. Someone just pulled a gun on him. Yeah, he's had a big day. So he's held at a bear hug. So basically it's held still. And Reggie Cray was handed a carving knife. Oh no. The bear hug has gone very wrong.

He stabbed McFiddy in the face and stomach, driving the blade into his side. neck whilst twisting the knife and not even stopping once he's laying on the floor dying. Are you laughing at me acting out the twisting? No, I was just having a go myself. Matt, do you want to go?

This is how I would do it. That feels good. Isn't that fun? Everybody, if you want to have a go, no pressure. Everyone, knives in the air! A little twist! Isn't that fun? Murder's fun. So they just kept stabbing and stabbing and stabbing.

Yep. Jess, are you still on board with these guys? Hey, they've got their reasons. Jack the hat, he's a bad guy. I'm running out of time a little bit, aren't I? I'll keep moving through. Yep, yep, yep. Which is my way of saying Matthew, shut the fuck up.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, you're okay. Anyway, however, it's thought that Reggie never intended to kill McVitty. And he was lured to the basement flat to be put straight by the twins. Hey, let's bring him in and I'll just have a chat. Have a little chat, maybe a bit of a stab, we'll see how we go. Well, I'm under the assumption that the human body can withstand 19 stabs exactly. But if you accidentally stab someone 20 times, they could die. And that is clearly what's happened.

Yeah, yeah. They wanted to just be, like, they wanted to be hurt. Just one too many. Just one too many. Oh, boy. Whatever the motive, Reggie had committed a very public murder against someone who many of their own gang members didn't really feel deserved to die. Because he's killed one of their own, let's remember.

So people don't think that's great. with the body being too big to fit in the boot of a car they wrapped him in a quilt and put him in the back seat of the car How fucking big is he? He's a big dude Well they've got a hatchback No he's just a full grown adult Right

Just because I could fit in the glove box Alright By the way I've been asking this I was asking this last week when we met some listeners Was anybody kind of disappointed that Dave is like a normal size person When he walked out Because we talk about it like he's popular pocket size.

He wants 50 kilos. 50 kilos. Yeah? Adults don't do that. Hey, you're okay. Thank you. I am. You're just tiny.

I need some food guys. So they've put him in the backseat of the car and a guy called Tony Lambriano. Is that right? Who cares? Drove the car with the body and his brother Chris and a guy called Ronnie Bender were following in a different car.

And the back car, so the car that was following Tony, they lost him at one point. You know when you're following your mates? They're like, just follow me, and then they go, and you're like, oh, fuck. They lost him. And this is before, like, smartphones, or mobile phones at all, or GPS.

So they got lost, and they spent, like, 15 minutes driving around trying to find him. And they eventually found Tony. He was outside St. Mary's Church where he'd run out of petrol. That's his terribly planned. It's so good. And McVitty's body's still in the car.

And so they had no alternative. rather than to just dump him in the churchyard. So the body's left in the car and the three gangsters just returned home in the second car. They just left the car there, which is smart. So obviously that was the last we heard of that. All done. Ronnie Bender then went and phoned Charlie Cray,

the Cray twins' older brother, and he informed them that it had been dealt with. But when the twins... Hey, don't worry, no one will ever find the body. It's all good. It's all good. Church is going out of fashion. No one going to church. No one's going to church.

It's fine. When the twins found out where the, or like what had been, what had happened, they were really, they were really mad. So they phoned Freddie Foreman, who was running a pub kind of nearby. And they wanted to see if he could dispose of the body. So with dawn breaking, he found the car, broke into it, drove the body to New Haven, where with the help of a trawlerman, the body was bound with chicken rye and dumped in the English channel. Freddie Foreman to the rescue, everybody. Freddie Foreman.

I know I'm running out of time, aren't I? So I'll skim is what I'll do. And I'll do that. Good summary. See, normally, if we ever get to this sort of point and we're in the studio, I'll go, okay, hang on a sec. And there'll be like a couple of minutes of kind of silence while I find what I want to say.

And now I can't do that because you're all here. So I'm just going to be like, yeah, cool. All right, so there's a guy called Inspector Leonard Nipper Reed, another great nickname. He's chasing him. He's chasing him. He's put on the murder squad, great squad name. And his first assignment is to bring down the cray twins.

Nobody wants to talk. I'm summarizing what I read this morning, because that's when I finished this report. Nobody wants to talk. And then they give them secret meetings. And they're like, you're safe. Just tell us things. And then the cray twins want to peg other crimes on some of the gang members.

And the gang members are like, that's kind of fucked. So then they start talking. And I just saw my dad roll his eyes when I said, That's fucked. Sorry, Dad. I can see you, Dad. Right, so... Honestly, Jess, no.

I think swearing is beneath you. Me and John and everyone else reckon that you should bloody clean up your act. Am I right, fellas? Evil of Revolution. Hey, Matt, which member of the podcast did we have to enforce a rule of no more C-words? Oh, that's hard to remember.

I think we've got about two minutes on the clocky edges. No problem. I will finish up. They went to prison. Yeah! That's the kind of revolution I'm talking about. Justice. Served.

You guys are such nerds. Bad guys went to prison. Yay! They got like 30-year sentences. This is kind of cool. In 85, officials at the Broadmoor Hospital discovered a business card of Ronnie's, which prompted an investigation.

It revealed that the twins, who were incarcerated at separate institutions, were operating a lucrative bodyguard and protection business for Hollywood stars, together with their older brother Charlie and an accomplice who was on the outside. The officials were concerned about this operation. It was called Craily Enterprises, but there was nothing really, they had no legal basis to do anything about it. They were kind of allowed to run this business. Among their clients was Frank Sinatra,

who used the service by hiring 18 bodyguards on his visit to the 19, 85 Wimbledon Championships. He needed 18, apparently. A notoriously violent tournament. Regrets. He had a few. I hate you so much. A couple of quick things. So Ronnie Cray was a category A prisoner. He was denied almost

all liberties and not allowed to mix with other prisoners. He was eventually certified insane in 1979 and lived the remainder of his life at Broadmoor Hospital. Reggie was locked up in Maidston prison for eight years and then was transferred to another prison as well. Ronnie was still serving time at the prison hospital

when he died of a heart attack in 1995 at the age of 61. During his incarceration, Reggie became a born-again Christian. He was freed from Wayland on the 26th of August, 2000, my 10th birthday, after serving more than the recommended 30 years. It's the one gift you always wanted. Justice. Set the murderer free.

He was 66 and he was released on Compassion. grounds for having inoperable bladder cancer. The final weeks of his life was spent with his wife, Roberta, whom he'd married while he was still in prison. And in October of 2000, he died in his sleep, and 10 days later he was buried beside his brother Ronnie in Chingford Mount Cemetery. And that is the story of the Cray Twins. Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen! Get off for Jess. What a great report. Thank you. We will have to hastily wrap this up as we've got another show coming in here at 5 o'clock but thank you give yourselves a big round of balls for being our first ever live audience we really do appreciate you coming out hey if you guys it will it'll be coming out this Wednesday if you want to hear

yourself applauding yeah be able a revolution you'll hear that but we do have to go thank you so much for coming out tonight we'll we got to pack this up but we'll be downstairs in about 10 minutes thank you so much and good night yay That brings us to the end of the first ever live. Do go on. I hope you enjoyed it. We certainly had a really good time being there at the show. And anybody who was there in the audience, thank you so much. It was so cool to see some of you there. And the moment that people said a good year was probably the happiest moment of my life. As per usual, we do need to thank a few Patreon listeners. And because I am doing this by myself, I apologize in advance to all

of these listeners because you know I am really, really bad at thinking up clever pun names. So I'm not even going to try. I'm just going to be genuine and thank you. And I hope that's okay. So first of all, I would like to thank the very lovely Pete Free. We did pronounce your name incorrectly a little while ago. I think Dave called you Piet or maybe Matt did. It sounds more like a Matt thing. But you corrected us and it's Pete. And thank you so much, Pete. You're an absolute gem and you've been there for ages now. you've supported us from the start and it means a lot to us. So thank you so much. The other person we would like to thank as well is Yana Nickel. I'm sure Dave probably would have had something really clever about Nickel. Matt probably could have thought or something else.

Pretty clever too. Again, I'm bad at this but I want to tell you genuinely Yana that it means a lot to us that you listen to our podcast and that you support us. It is so cool of you and you are most likely an incredibly cool person just based on the information that I have about you so far. So thank you so much. And finally for this week, I need to thank someone who I feel like probably gets in contact with us a bit on Twitter because I recognize your handle there, but we need to thank Cameron Zern, Zern being one of the coolest surnames ever. Congratulations on that, Cameron. Thank you so much for your support as well. Again, you've been there from the very beginning and that's really cool.

Thanks so much to those three. So Pete Yanna and Cameron, you are absolute champions, and we thank you so much for listening and for supporting the show. It really means so much to us. If you would also like to support our other shows, if you are in Melbourne or Victoria or Australia and you have access to a plane or a car, and you want to come to our other shows,

we are all three of us doing shows in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Matt Show is called Pretty Dry. He's at the Chinese Museum, and he is on at, I think, 7.30? Sorry, if I'm wrong there, Matt. I'm 3, 7.30. He's all the way through till the 23rd, so you can check him out any night of the week. He said, Mondays, no Mondays.

And we saw, Dave and I saw his show during the Fringe Festival, and it is seriously a hilarious show, so you should absolutely check that out. It is so, so good. Dave is doing his blind dating show spectacular. So he's just doing Monday nights. So there's two more shows left, the 10th and the 17th of April. Matt and I were both guests on Monday, the Monday just gone on the third. And it was so much fun.

It is just the most hilarious, silly show. He's got his love expert sidekick, Dr. Neil Potenza, who is incredibly funny. And it's just such a good show. Dave is such an amazing presenter. And he's just such a charismatic, fun, dude. He just carries it so well. and the whole show is just an absolute scream. So if you're in Melbourne and you want to come to that, do that.

That's at 8.30 at the town hall. And I am doing my show. My show will start next Tuesday. The 11th, it kicks off. It's called Twins, and it's a split show with another amazing comedian, Naomi Higgins. She's absolutely awesome and just a delight. So we're doing our split show at the Greek Center. We're 615, from the 11th to the 23rd.

For all of these shows, you can just get tickets at Comedy Fest. www.com.com.com. And punching our names and you should be able to find us that way. And that would be really awesome because we love to get to meet you guys. And, you know, we love to eat. And this is how we make our money. If I'm just going to be completely transparent about it, give us your money. So I think that's everything that I was supposed to do.

I'm sure I've forgotten something and the boys will no doubt pull me up on that. And for now, I will say, bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree, very, very easy.

It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you, you come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee. Thank you.