Do Go On - 8 - Santa Claus (An Origin Story)
Episode Date: December 16, 2015Santa Claus... What's his deal? Where did he come from? Why are the Dutch involved? How much did CocaCola have to do with him? Pickles?All of this will be discussed and more, on this naughty and nice ...episode of Do Go On! Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure
that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show.
That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our
final podcast of the year, our Christmas special.
It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe.
On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets
at doogawonpod.com.
At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love.
All in one place.
You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more.
Like festive dressing for you in your home,
experience the magic at your favorite store.
Or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping and returns.
Need it faster?
Pick up your order today in store.
The best gifts are yours at Nordstrom.
At Granger, we're for the ones who specialize
in saving the day. And for the ones who specialize in saving the day and for the ones who've
mastered the art of keeping business moving.
We offer industrial grade supplies for every industry, with same day pickup and next day
delivery on most orders, all backed by real people ready to help.
So you can get the right answers and products right when you need them.
Call clickgranger.com or just that by.
Granger, for the ones who get it done.
Are you working way too hard for way too little?
There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.
You could enjoy a recession-resistant career
in a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities
and often flexible work environments.
Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation.
You could start your new career in months, not years, take classes online or on campus,
and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill.
Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. E-D-U. Well, Ho Ho Ho and Merry Christmas!
That's not going to make sense in a couple of weeks.
Hello and welcome down to Do go on a podcast with myself.
And I am Mr. Dave Warnocky.
And I am joined, as always, by Mr. Mats Stewart.
It's a very formal episode this week.
Hello, Matt.
I'm Mr. Dave.
Hello, Mr. Mats.
How's it going?
I'm about to stuff this up because I always get confused
between mish and mousse.
We have mish slash mousse, Jess Perkins, hello Jess.
I'm like Mr. David, Mr. Vert. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Miss means unmarried. Miss is generally like a younger woman too. And I don't know where I sit in terms of age.
I find it, because I always get worried
that I'm going to offend someone by implying
that they're a muse.
Or I still don't know.
No, I don't know.
Good call, though.
Good option in just saying.
Let's press this.
We'll do a 45 minute episode on the difference.
I mean, a muse later on.
And I should say.
It is strange, right, that there is an extra option
for the ladies, and there is for the gents.
We miss out yet again.
When will society evolve to help out men?
Yeah.
The damn Trotter.
Oh, no, I'm with you.
I'm with you.
I'm a big supporter.
Thank you.
Men's rights.
About time.
Yeah, I'm one of the few who's on your side.
OK, don't lump me and with those other women.
Anyway.
Thanks, Moos!
Anyway!
Now I said, hope I home Eric Christmas at the start of this episode.
Oh, what was that all about?
Well, if you haven't heard the show before,
if you just love Christmas and you've clicked on some sort of link
because you want to hear a Christmasy show,
then fear not, we'll be Christmas,
but what happens is we take it in turns to write a report
on a topic of our choosing, and the other two generally don't know what it's going to be about.
And we don't know the exact topic, but the map has the fact.
So that we'll be some sort of Christmassy show.
Yeah, I thought the thing is we're coming up to Christmas.
I might do a Christmas-ish one.
I think knowing that it is Christmassy, this question, I should have thought of a better question.
Okay.
Because it's going to be pretty clear.
So imagine that you didn't know this was about Christmas.
What would you say by asked, who has the old time record for most home invasions? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That is brilliant. Tooth Fairy, obviously.
Straight in there.
That's his first word.
Yeah, tooth Fairy, that's good, because...
You got more teeth.
You'd lose them throughout the year.
Yeah.
I think you fucked it.
Some sort of...
Only the Tooth Fairy isn't real, do you?
So we're talking about real people.
Oh, I'm talking about...
Who are we talking about?
Some sort of cat burgling men
So you just I mean there are a few different ones around the world, but I'm talking about
Santa Claus Coming to town
So I've heard so Santa Claus Santa is our I think that's great. So tooth fairy is that as universal as Santa?
Maybe not sure maybe Santa does have more
universalised centre, maybe centre does have more home invasions. Yeah, that's true. Well, I did look up all the way around the world.
Yeah, there are a few different ones. You better say I did look up the statistics on
centres. No, I've looked up the tooth fairy. And I saw an interesting, there was an
interesting study and it said it asked, because the Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny Bunny most people have a certain picture in their mind but with the tooth fairy they
ask what is what does the tooth fairy look like and they're I think it said 72% said female.
Oh well.
Which is yeah I would have said higher.
Yeah right and then but then about 12 said neither a man or a woman.
Yeah fairies a third box that you can take this is.
And then someone I think the last one was like,
it gives a shit.
That's about 8%.
That's the one I think.
But you're right, there is sort of a pretty distinct picture
of what Santa looks like.
Yeah, did you guys believe as kids?
I want to, if you did, I want to probably finish with,
I want to hear about how you found out that he wasn't just so
Parents have a lot of time to turn off. We'll finish with that
But what what was your relationship like with Santa growing up?
Terrified and I wouldn't get my photo taken with him at the shopping centers. I was scared of him
Wow, I would just cry now. Now as a 25 year old, I go and get my photo taken with Santa.
Just straight on that line.
It's a tradition now.
I'm like, all right, Santa, he's what I want.
Raise a scooter.
Barbie.
And he's like, get off me.
Madam, please leave.
I'll brush out.
Madam, there's another one.
Moose, get off my knee.
You're like, hang on.
Please, Santa. Santa. I thought you knew everyone's names. Moose, get off my knee and you're like hang on. Yeah. Please Santa. Santa. I've thought you knew everyone's names.
Come on mate. I've been very good this year. Dave, what was your relationship
with Santa? I'm trying to think about I've seen photos of me on his lap so I
think that I wasn't too scared and I was very obsessed with getting free
presents once a year. When you have to pay for your presents.
Well, my birthday, of course, had to supply my own home.
Oh, that's normal.
I've really interested in seeing a picture of you as a child,
because now I can imagine it's basically
what you look like right now.
I found a great photo, which I can show you after the show,
and I may even post it to the listeners.
It's a great one.
It's the most 1990s photo I could find.
It's me, age six at the pancake parlour, which is a big tradition. I'm playing with a Captain
Planet toy, a transformer, a wrestler and play dough, and so many toys. And I'm dressed as a
power ranger. Oh my god. I need a blue blonde kid too.
Now it's just, I was pretty brown.
Pretty brown.
It's a pretty brown.
I'm literally just imagining you, but like shorter,
like just a tiny version of what you look like now.
A way to quite a similar weight.
Wow, there you go.
Matt?
I've been in the same weight class my whole life.
They've done these shows as you probably know just where,
one of the, it's a fact-based show and it's a quiz show. It's called facty fact.
It's no fact. Sorry. Your point is a fact based name.
It's a fact based name. No fact based game.
And one of the one of the rounds is you've got a you've got a guess whether
something weighs more or less than that.
Yes. And then the game is called heavier lighter or the same as me.
And I weigh 52 kilograms.
What was some of the things that weighed the same as you?
Gwen Stefani.
No doubt.
Just how confidently he says it.
There's not many things that it's hard when you Google,
when I Google things that weigh 52 kilos,
I find forums and it's mainly teenage girls
posting, I weigh 52 kilos, MIFAT.
And you just reply. Hey, I weigh 52 kilos, am I fat? Oh.
And you just reply.
Hey, I'm 25 and a man, and I'm pretty happy with where I'm at.
I'm feeling good.
Makes you feel better.
Now what was your relationship with Santa?
I loved it, I was a big fan, and I believed for a long time.
Little too long perhaps?
I make a little too long, yeah.
But I don't think anything's really met that
sort of excitement. Yeah, that wonder. Yeah, yeah. I think the closest thing to it now
is what I experienced recently, and that is this music festival I go to every year, and
the night before feels somewhat like Christmas Eve as a child. Yeah, because you don't
get that as an adult as much, so it's nice when you do feel excitement for something. Yeah, you have anything like that? My last really dull.
I just remember that my relationship with Sandra as an adult has been pretty turbulent
because when I left high school my first job when I was 19 was um...
Tell me you were an elf, tell me you were an elf.
Oh, well I did the elf for a bit, so I did kids' parties,
and then I got graduated to Santa,
and I have to wear a facet.
What was that?
Because I wear 52 kilos.
I know, I know, I wear 52 kilos,
so I've got the fat suit on,
but it doesn't do the arms of the legs,
so I've looked like I've just,
I've got like a fake arms.
Is that suit like I do now?
Oh, I look way worse.
And then one day I locked my keys in my car
when I was in between parties in the city here in Melbourne.
And I've been thinking what to do,
so because I was already dressed in the outfit,
but I couldn't get to the next gig.
So I took all the my gear and everything,
like the santa sack out to, like the top of Berks Street.
And I'm trying to get way the taxi down.
And they just aren't stopping.
They're just waving back. Like, hello Santa.
Like, stop your fucking fast, and there's kids out in the rabbit and they're like, come on, come on!
And they're all just waving, uh...
Uh...
So bad.
And I was the worst Santa.
I'm like, I want to tell my pants fell down when I was dressed as Santa because it's...
You look the way younger, skinnier skinnier sand with old time.
And then when I put on the accents,
the people always thought I was
like a hopeful, ho-ho voice.
I thought I was
sanding, bloody Scottish.
What is that accent?
It's not really an accent.
It's just, it's more like a,
it's a,
isn't all bad voice.
Yeah.
Oh, four.
Do you say that there was a
video that went around recently
of a, a little girl on Santa's lap
and her mom says to Santa like,
oh, she's deaf, I think it's, oh, does she sign? And then Santa's like signing to her and asking her what she wants for Christmas in sign language,
because that said, have you had a sign?
That's so great!
Oh, it's so sweet!
All Santa's should know all languages, technically.
Like, read, if you're going to be a Santa.
That's right, that's what I was fired.
I just didn't know Arabic.
Good not answer.
You know how we were like, let's not fuck around this episode.
Let's get straight into it.
Yeah, we're frustrated around it.
No, all of that will be edited out.
That doesn't help you getting the gig you like for.
Actually, it does the exact opposite of that.
Okay, good.
So, the Santa is ears now. he began a couple of thousand years ago,
pretty much.
He's like, he's an old.
He's something like that, yeah.
It's pretty good.
I mean, Santa Claus isn't,
but the beginning of the Santa Claus story kind of is okay.
So, I like this description I found on snopes.
It sort of sums up pretty quickly
the modern
Santa Claus, right? Okay, so this is the quote. Santa Claus is a hybrid, a character
descended from a religious figure in St. Nicholas whose physical appearance and
backstory were created and shaped by many different hands over the course of years
until he finally coalesced into a now familiar slash secular character
figures a sexy of a jelly and sexy rotund red and white
gubbed father figure who oversees an North Pole workshop
manned by elves and travels in a staple by eight reindeer to
deliver toys to children all around the world every Christmas
that's kind of that's the package never heard of him
but you like you'd be familiar with all those elements, right?
Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's such a massive thing.
And it's kind of interesting where like bits and pieces were picked up over time.
So you'd hear him refer to a St. Nicky bit, right?
Yeah. And that's because in St. Nick was a, it was a, a real guy.
It was a real guy, real St. Guy.
Yes. Yeah.
Yep.
He was this saint guy.
First fact I've dropped on ya.
How about I talk to a little bit about St Nicholas?
Okay.
I'm going to go on.
I'm going to go on, okay.
So St Nicholas was born near Maira in the ancient seaport city of Patara, which is in modern times is located in Turkey.
So he was born around 272 AD AD, so not that's not 2000 years ago, but you know...
Close.
Close-ish.
If we're rounding up to the nearest thousand, which I'd like to, that's what I do in most things, day-to-day.
That's right, technically we're all 1,000 years old if we were to round up.
Actually, why is a thousand kilograms?
Yes. Technically you both owe me a thousand dollars.
We'll talk after the show, my gosh.
Well, the legend is that he gave away all of his wealth and he traveled around helping
the poor and the sick. So it was a good guy. That's what the
legend says anyway. I mean, I haven't made it anyone in Newham. So you can't know for sure.
Why about the year 1200? Just a casual thousand years later.
Years later, he became known as a patron of children and magical gift bring up because of two great stories from his life.
So we have these two, two fables or two legends.
Obviously, again, when you hear him, you're going to be like, I don't fully believe these things happened.
But one of them could be true.
And they were talked about by this guy, Jerry Bauer.
He authored a book called Santa Claus a biography
That's like the idea that he's just like a like in his 50s and he's still hasn't found out
Still links I'll get in there first like trying to do research at the library like
Just looking into the backstory of that really famous man, Santa Claus, and the librarians like, oh god, this is so-
Oh, how do we tell him?
I need to sit this guy to help.
She gives him all the books that I have on Santa Claus, and they're all kids'
Victor Hooks.
So he's like, what are you hiding?
She sees them coming through the front door.
She's quickly putting him into the nonfiction, just scarring him.
Don't tell him.
No, just leave him, leave him.
It's a sweet thing.
So one of the stories is that he saved three sisters from being sold as slaves or prostitutes
by their poverty, stricken father.
However, we heard the same story before.
And he did that by giving him a dowry which meant that they could be married, so he gave
the dad a dozen of the dowry's, a couple of cows or something. Sure some cash
And that's a lot of that. So that's a. I mean, and he's assuming that the dad would have
Done that not the poverty-stricken dad didn't just go. I'm still gonna sell
Win-win apart from obviously the three daughters of mine who are gonna
Lose in a really big way and that's not even funny. I'm sorry. Okay
Well, I lived a long time ago. Oh my god.
Where do you draw the line too soon?
Another story, apparently that story is quite well known. I'd never heard of it. No, never heard of it. The other story was less well known.
But Bala, Bola said Bala.
Where do you get that family name from?
So Bola said it was quite well-known in
the Middle Ages though, it's just since then it's dropped off.
Here we have that bloke, yep.
What those three girls with a dairy. Top bloke.
Top bloke.
That's how they speak of the Middle Ages, alright.
That's pretty...
Did a standard Turkish I believe?
Yeah.
Oh yeah. So this other story, Nicholas entered and realized that the three boys of the owner of this
inn had been murdered.
And he pickled their dismembered bodies in brine, in barrel's full of brine.
So what?
What?
I'm going to stop you there. He pickled them, Dave. Barrel Barrel's full of brine. So what? What?
He's gonna stop me there.
He pickled them, Dave.
So he noticed someone's parents were dead,
so he pickled the children.
Well, I haven't explained that very well.
No, the kids were dead.
The kids were dead.
The kids were dead.
He walked in.
And the dad was like, he's just hanging out with the dad.
And he's like,
What's that? You got over there.
Oh, there's something like that, kids.
And he sent something was a bit off.
And he uncovered his mystery of the bodies in the barrel,
the original bodies in the barrel.
And he said, well what you need there is some brine.
No, he resurrected them, brought them back to life.
What?
Sorry, I thought...
Yeah, I thought you just pickled them.
So the killer's pickled them.
The kids are okay.
Wait.
Alright, let's start that again. The the killers pickled them the kids are okay, right? All right, let's start that again the killer has
So he's gone into it's the dead second the dead secretly the killer. That's what I'm worried about no the dead is the killer. Yeah, the dead's the killer
Okay, the dad pickle the kids
And say
He's coming in an un-pickle. And it's he talking to a little bit of a pickle.
No pickle for Nick.
No pickle for Nick.
He's not into it.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, no pickle for Nick.
Yeah, that tattooed on his neck.
So that's how people knew.
And he was like, I think there's something a bit off with this tattoo.
Yeah.
But yeah.
So when the dad who was in the pickling is his kittles, he came in and went,
oh no, it's Nick, the go hates pickled kids. I'm in for it. But anyway, he just went, hey,
that's wrong. Don't pickle your kids. It's nearly rule number one of parenthood. Don't
pickle your kids. And he brought them back to life. And then what?
And then dad probably just killed him again.
And then you saw the dad out, I wonder what?
And then he pickled the dad.
Did you really?
Well I mean none of this actually happened surely.
I'm telling you that a real person brought some kids who were chopped up back to life.
That didn't happen?
Well I mean it was written down proves that it didn't
Yeah, good point good point can't do it. So anyway because he un-pickled the kids
He became the patron saint of children
No, no, he was the art gentleman
That's why pickle for nickel. That's why cheeseburgers that becomes the same with two pieces of pickle in celebration
Of Saint nickel. Oh, you knew that
Yeah, that was the next paragraph. Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry
The next paragraph the Jerry Bala went on to talk about Jerry Bala clearly
Nothing wrong with him. He's fine Jerry's fine. So this there's two levels there. There's a guy who's just
Seen, three women that are about to slaughter
slavery and then he's put a diary and then there's a guy who's resurrected three.
Yeah that's right. So apparently he had a lot of miracles attributed to him.
There's a big miracle man. That's why like you used to have to or you still
might have to do at least two miracles to become a saint. Yeah but that's what I
thought. I thought to be. I think they're the rules.
To become a saint you have to prove to be done to two miracles I believe. Yeah. But giving a
dowry is probably not a miracle. Well that was, I don't, I think there was other miracles.
You did apparently you had a whole bag full of miracles. Did you only do things in groups of three,
like three daughters? Yeah, it was a big fan of three. So a blind man, not gonna help you out,
mate, unless you find two brothers for the same kid.
Yeah, two blind mates, come and see them.
Sounds more poetic than you like.
You like pickles?
I got heaps of them.
Couple of perils full of pickles.
Oh, gross.
Yeah, the kids, I don't know, he brought,
he said they were resurrected,
but it didn't say anything about them being un-pickled.
So maybe, they lived out their lives.
They're still in pieces.
Yeah, pickled pieces.
Oh, wow.
Now what a brutal existence that would have been.
Yeah, same nickel as it's so nice after all.
Yeah, probably not.
Kids would have been brutal at school, though, wouldn't they?
Oh, yeah.
I had a hard enough time with red hair.
Do you remember being pickled?
I imagine.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. He's not a man to make pickles. Rocking up first days of pickle, boy. Imagine your name rhyming with Girk and Ann being pickled.
I'd be bloody murdered.
Oh, you'd be... Merkent.
Please do call him out, save me, save me.
Merkent turned into a pubic.
He said save him, not make it worse.
Okay, good. So he died on the 6th of December,
sometime around 343 the year 343
Yeah, around the year 343 so the 6th of December became his feast day
He wasn't very old then oh wait
Yes, he was yeah, he was really he was quite old. I'm sorry. Yeah, I can't do math
He was very old. I had to have time to grow up. Did you have this beard that we all know?
Yeah, probably I think I don't do math. He was very old. You had to have time to grow up. Did you have this bead that we all know? Yeah, probably.
I don't think big raises had been invented yet.
So I think they all did.
They had these to shave.
Rocks, I guess.
They would have had knives or something.
Or else they would have had knives.
Yeah, they probably just count them off with an often fall.
I don't know.
Just hack it off.
Like a sword.
They would have had swords.
They would have had swords. Yeah, well, she said. They have sword. I would have had swords. Oh, I would have had swords.
Yeah, I would have had swords.
Yeah, the diamonds had swords right there.
Sords have been in round for many years.
Is that a sword?
You would have had a smaller sword.
Saving swords.
Just the shaving swords.
Look, I didn't research swords.
Well, a barely researched fan-touch.
First mistake.
I was rubbing your face against a brick.
You're like, like, like a man this? That's how I do it. Yeah, that's the old one. I can probably rope your face against a brick. You're like, I'm gonna take a myth of this.
That's how I do it.
Yeah, that's the old one.
God, you look great.
No, not a hair end at the same time.
So, and that date, the 6th of December was seen,
and is still, by some people, seen as a lucky day,
and a good day to get married for a long time.
6th of December. Oh, right.
Yeah, keeping in mind.
Because a God died that day.
It seemed as if we were dancing on someone's birthday.
It's like how we celebrate Easter.
That's the day he rose.
Oh, yeah.
Good Friday he died.
You know, I went to Christian school.
Yes, I though.
All right.
I should know that.
Oh, bloody me being the heathen over here.
Oh, these are just sitting in the corner,
shaving with a brick.
Nothing going on.
Yeah, like do your bricks.
St Nick was the old.
He also, that's right, the Lord's on your corner.
His other miracle was he would shave people
at a really reasonable price.
What a miracle.
Only two bucks. What a miracle! Only two bucks.
What a bargain!
Yeah, a huge queue every day.
And then to Nick's bargain barber.
It's got a great ring to it.
I'll show you face and pickle your kids!
You know, when he didn't pickle the kids,
I feel like he had tripped up on this.
No.
He resurrects...
I'll pick your kids.
Well, I didn't say that either.
I'll resurrect. Yeah, semi-pickled kids pick your pick of pickles
So I'll resurrect like you know resurrecting sort of it can mean just mean like bringing it back to life right?
That's what so maybe maybe you just turn that the only
It can and does me
It can't end us, man. So maybe when he said he resurrected it, maybe he thought you know like you resurrected,
like someone has burnt the toast and you resurrected by scraping some of it off.
Maybe he's just turned it into another meal.
Yeah, well maybe they were just having a nap.
You know when you people sort of joke like oh she's resurrected if you had a really long
sleep.
Yeah.
Maybe the kids are just a sleepy walk-over
a barrel of fraud he just had like a something just banging some pots and pans
together working the kids I think we're giving him too much credit here we are
like oh he saved some kids lives and I'd pickled them we know what I believe it's
more likely that in the year 300 he had pots and pans and he was banging them
together then he resurrected a couple of mischievous children in a barrel.
Well, he is a thing, according to the encyclopedia Britannica, his existence is not attested by
any historical document, so nothing certain is known about his life apart from the fact.
I love how this is written, so nothing certain is known of his life apart from the fact. I love it, this is written. So nothing
certain is known of his life except that he was probably Bishop of Maira in the 4th century.
Nothing is certain. This is either the way I've totally transcribed it or just written it
down like an idiot. Nothing is certain. Except a very specific fact. It's probably. So is a bishop as well.
Cool. What is certain is that he was probably a bishop. Okay good. Thank God that's
good enough. He was buried in his church at Maira and in the sixth century his shrine there had become quite well known.
After the first millennium, around 1087, that won't we'll call that, you know, 1087
Italian sailors or merchants stole his alleged remains from Mera and took them to Bari
in Italy. This removal greatly increased the science popularity in Europe.
Was it just a marketing campaign?
It was a marketing campaign.
It's like when the Mona Lisa went missing.
Exactly.
So they didn't steal his bones.
What they did?
They did steal his bones.
His bones were stolen, allegedly.
So I mean, they assumed, I mean, this could be anyone, right?
I think they think it is.
Yeah, they get in there at the crypt and there's like a hundred bodies like, I'll just grab
the first one on the front. But he was the bishop. So I think he had a special
burial spot. So it was, I think it was pretty clearly marked. It wasn't like a big, big pile of
bishop bodies that they saw through. So I went in the bishop hole. It came a super popular spot.
There was a lot of pilgrimages there, pilgrimai there in the 11th century. A lot of Pilgrimage, there, Pilgrimage, there, in the...
Pilgrimage.
11th century.
A lot of people cracking the sheets back at home that his body's been stolen.
I think cracking the sheets was also the technical term, they did.
Exactly, I bloody cracked it.
Is this in Turkey, as I'm...
So he was from...
He was buried in Turkey.
And then some...
It wasn't Turkey at the time.
The merchants took him back to Italy.
Yeah, that's right.
But did you have any affinity with Italy? Uh, Italy. Well, I mean, he was a, he was a Christian saint and Italy is like,
Okay, fair enough. Yeah, that's enough to justify getting me. Yeah, they're like, they're big into,
into all that gear. So I think that was a big part of why. In the Middle Ages, he became the patron saint of Russia, of Greece, of charitable fraternities
and guilds of children, of sailors, which maybe is because they stole his unmarried girls,
which I would imagine is most girls, but maybe not at the time, merchants, just in case
that was who stole him.
What about unmarried female merchants?
Pawn brokers.
Oh.
And of such cities as Freiburg and Switzerland and Moscow.
Well, it might lead to believe that they're really struggling.
There's not enough saints to go around at the time.
There are.
There are.
But he just, he was very popular.
Everyone wanted a piece of him.
He was like the most loved saint of the time.
The Elvis Presley of Saints.
A for a guy was dead 800 years.
He was some...
Yeah, he was the Elvis Presley of Saints.
If Elvis was a guy who was still a popular 100 years old,
he would be a free guy.
And did don't want to toilet.
Yeah.
Well.
For nothing said.
Exactly.
For the thing he did just.
I like this little thing of fan. There was a little while in the middle ages where
a custom came about that had a boy being elected as Bishop on St Nicholas Day, the 6th of December,
and he would reign until the feast of the Holy Innocence on December 28th. So a boy
two days at the top. A little boy would become Bishop just at random
Oh, that's kind of cute. I imagine you know, it is a little Bishop
You know like 30 weeks
It's a little Bishop right? Oh
He has to go have a nap because he's all tied for Bishop
So good and then what happens that's that's to pick a limb. Yeah, then he
I'm gonna throw him down the Bishop because he's not a bishop
I'm the bishop hole.
And...
God, imagine peaking it like six years old.
You know, like you'll never be better than that.
Oh my God, imagine that day.
I'm kind of peaking at 18, that was...
These are the child stars at the 14th century.
Yeah, why?
And then just get into drugs.
Drugs, security.
Then they do a nude shoot.
They just get desperate. They just get desperate. They just get desperate. They just get desperate. They just get into drugs, security. Then they do a nude shoot. Because I feel like it'll help their image as an adult,
like stop thinking he's a child, but it's just worse.
It makes it so much worse.
It doesn't go to the pays off, sexifying yourself.
They're like, Sarah, did it?
Yeah, yeah.
So what's the, it didn't work for Nikki Webstaff, you know?
Just in Timberlake, did he do it?
It was like, he was a Disney guy, and he began sexifying himself.
No, justifying, justifying himself.
Another surefire way to get yourself back onto the main set.
Justifying your talent.
Just be talented.
Well, it's got to work for some people.
Childs are made as adults, so Marley's ours.
Well, Justin Timberley.
Sure. Ryan Gosling. He was a child. He was a... Child's sons have made it as adults says Molly's ours well Justin Timberlake sure
Ryan Gosling. Oh, he was a child
Once a child he performed in Mickey Mouse Club. Oh, he that was where Josie T was from as well Yeah, no shit. I think he's ever been referred to as Josie T ever
Well, I love because I have a lot
Well, I love because I have a lot
Does he cheat? Oh, does he?
That's weird. What do you call him? Anyway, off topic? I call him Justin Timberlake personally. That's what I call him
When I'm on the phone to him. Yeah, hello Justin Timberlake and he's like, does he can just call me Justin? I'm like nah, I like saying it out loud when I'm at just eat. Just call me just eat
I I shan't be doing that Justin Timberlake. Thank you. I like saying it out loud, but I'm in public, so people know I'm on the phone, can you?
Yeah, and Justin Timberlake.
And please also refer to me only as Jessica Randall with Perkins III.
Thank you, I'm not really a third, but I add it.
Matt's face lit up just then.
Well, I just made me think, you'd work really well in a St. Nicholas miracle scheme.
Yeah.
There's three of you.
Oh yeah, good point.
Good point, but no. Are you of you. Oh yeah, good point.
Good point, but no.
You're ancestors, you're kicking?
No.
Well, maybe he can bring them back to life.
Or he put them into an asperger or something.
Pickle, okay.
All right, after the Protestant Reformation,
which is a big thing in the church.
St Nick's popularity started to wane.
Basically, all the saints did.
They stopped lifting up the saints.
They were, it was about God and Jesus now.
Forget the saints.
All the humans can get fucked.
We're taking it back to the basics.
Yeah.
They're big too.
So, yeah, St Nick lost out in popularity there.
Yeah, he lost to God.
Yeah, God.
Well, if you got to be beaten by someone. I, he lost to God. Yeah, God. Well, you've got to be beaten by someone.
I'd happily lose to God. Yeah, I reckon he probably would have too. Like, if he really was a guy who cared
about that stuff, I reckon he would have liked. Yeah, that probably made that. Good decision, yeah.
For a while there, he was bigger than Jesus, but then, certainly Nick. Yeah.
What he catches up with you. And this happened nearly all the way through Europe.
It just like even from being talked about a lot,
his death date was celebrated.
He was feast day, they called it.
It was a bit of spin there.
Death date.
And but yeah, all of a sudden nearly instantly,
it just dropped off.
Even Russia dropped him.
Even Russia, but the Netherlands did not.
They never lost faith in us.
Netherlands stuck on, and that is where
Sinterklaus can live out.
Oh.
Which is kind of the dutchifying of the name St. Nicholas.
When's this?
This is in the last thousand years.
It's fun, we only ran up to thousands of this podcast.
That's fun, yeah.
Yep, great. I'm on board. We're not about specifics in thiss of this podcast. That's one thing, yeah. Yep, great.
We're not about specifics in this fact-based podcast.
Oh, no, my God.
No, no, no.
Cinterclass.
Cinterclass.
Cinterclass.
Is also known as these three other names in the Netherlands.
See if you can guess what they translate to.
The scent?
The scent.
Correct, all right, good.
Was that it?
The good scent?
The good scent.
Yes.
Very good.
Can't you speak that?
I did, actually, I did.
I'm not traveled.
I might not be pronouncing them perfectly.
No, really.
And thirdly, another?
Of course, they're all three, okay.. And look at how many people present this.
It was also a really good stand-up comedian.
Right. Yeah, he knew about the rules.
And thirdly, the good holy man.
Sorry, so I had to spell the holy compartment of this.
H-E-I-L-I-G.
The G might be, might be, might be, might be.
The good Hayleg, man.
The good, yes, the good Holy Man.
I reckon I could speak Dutch.
It's pretty good.
Yes, I agree.
Cinta Klaus, I'd like to think that's how it's pronounced.
Good.
Cinta Klaus is celebrated annually
with the giving of gifts to children,
either on the eve or the morning of the 6th of December.
So still on his feast date.
And according to Wikipedia, I know we don't always like to use Wikipedia,
but according to Wikipedia,
Santa Claus is an elderly,
stately and serious man with white hair and a long full beard.
Serious?
Serious.
Yeah, that was the only reason I read out that quote.
Because it was just like, yeah, that's not what you think of like as...
No, you wouldn't think it's easy.
Santa Claus is the ho ho ho jolly.
Hey, I suppose he's a great business man, so...
Good one.
Yeah, true.
It's gonna be alright.
I mean, you have to be serious sometimes.
Yeah.
You can still be fun and serious.
Yeah.
Alright, fair enough.
He's serious when it counts.
Yeah.
Do you guys...
Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys dare unless you think?
Yeah.
At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place.
You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under a hundred and more.
Like festive dressing for you in your home.
Experience the magic at your favorite store. Or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping and returns.
Need it faster?
Pick up your order today in store.
The best gifts are yours at Nordstrom.
Sometimes the transition to fall and winter
feels like experiencing every season on the same day.
The shoes and the all birds' missile collection were made for misty morning walks,
surprise no days, and anything a trip to the dog park might bring.
The whole collection brings together water repellent technology and classic style, so you
can stay warm, dry, and comfy during your everyday adventures.
Check off your errands with the wool runner missile, dash through cold and wet weather with
the wool dasher missile, or upgrade to next level protection with the wool runner missile, dash through cold and wet weather with the wool dasher missile.
Or upgrade to next level protection with the wool runner up missile plus.
Go to allbirds.com and use code Fresh Socks for a free pair of socks with your purchase.
ALL-BIRDS.com code Fresh Socks.
Are you working way too hard for way too little?
There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.
You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth
opportunities and often flexible work environments.
Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation.
You could start your new career in months, not years.
Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students,
including the GI Bill.
Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu.
Do you guys know how Cinta Claus arrives in the Netherlands?
He arrives in November?
Oh no, he gets lost. And that's where, yeah.
Wow.
And again, what nationality do we think Santa Claus is?
Like he doesn't have a nationality.
Some sort of Scandinavian thing.
He's a citizen of the world.
Yeah, that's right.
So it's funny, just like such an old school.
Because you know, a lot of the traditions are just like,
this is whatever was the cool mode of transport
when we've invented this thing.
Yes.
And now that's the tradition.
Yeah.
No, this is not about you to say hello.
We are more Santa.
Do you guys know about Santa Claus's sidekick?
I'll please tell me his little Spanish dog.
Is it Dorothy Explorer?
No, it's a...
Come on, that's just a a... More controversial than that.
He's bastard.
I'd door the explorer.
Who is this controversial sidekick?
I'm just trying to get on a serious tone because it's kind of a controversial sidekick.
Oh no.
Is it a bit racial?
Yeah, a little bit.
I don't expect to the early 19th century, so not all that old.
And his name is, I'm going to have a crack at the pronunciation,
Zwhat Piet. Zwhat Piet. Or the plural Zwhati Piet. There's two of them. And Zwhat,
are there could be many? It sort of feels like, they're similar to the elves. Yeah,
and Zwhat, are there could be many? It sort of feels like very similar to the elves.
Yeah, like things.
Zwhat, but often it's just the one
like it'll just be the two of them
or how they get about.
That's something that's okay from them.
But Zwhat, Piet, is commonly portrayed
by a man in blackface.
Oh, okay.
Some say the blackface is because he's being depicted
as a mor from Spain, which certainly doesn't make it any better.
And others say that it's because his face has been covered
by chimney sort.
Let's go with that.
Yeah, let's go with option two, I reckon.
This is a more of his face.
Yeah.
Just a dirty little ball.
Two, two busy, two busy.
It makes you feel so uncomfortable.
Too busy putting coal in that steamboat.
Yeah, maybe on.
Yeah, there's something that's so weird.
It's like such a white country,
or traditionally the Netherlands,
and it's just like, anyway,
a center class and Zwart Piett,
typically depicted carrying a bag
which contains candy for nice children and a broom
used to spank bad kids.
So, not doesn't even leave, I thought it was going to like, it leaves brooms for the naughty
kids so they have to like clean up and they're like, come on, come here, you're getting
your spank coming.
Candy for you, I'll beat you in your bed.
So it's kind of admirable in a way.
And so I'm just leaving Cole.
He gets the job done.
Just give me a little, a little whack.
Yeah, but I imagine that parents,
especially with the poor families, are like,
probably would love some Cole.
Yeah, it's really Cole's.
Yeah, good point.
The, yeah, it does seem like a lot of this tradition
goes back to parents just wanting to make their kids behave
Like Santa Claus is the same. He knows who's been naughty and nice. Yeah
I don't know. I guess that's where it comes from
I'm admitted third verse about beating you with a little broom handle. Yeah, he knows where your mom keeps the broom
Yeah, well, you know these are a favor. He won't hold back with force
Brumes are big. Yeah, bring the head it probably gets a good like swing too. Yeah
The boat is just fueled by broken broomsticks
Allegedly a bunch of
all allegedly
not gonna get trouble
admittedly none of this is love it that's fact.
A bunch of the tradition the St. Nicholas Center class tradition is sort to have come from the legend of Odin.
Right Odin's beard.
So all of it.
Yeah, the beard for instance, the big white-flowing beard.
Some say that, so a few different things got merged together at some point in the past,
like including it, old Norse legend and stuff like that as well.
Some of the similarities that are found on, I think it was again on Wikipedia, we're between St. Nick and Odin,
and these things were supposedly happening
when Christianity spread through Europe.
So Europe had their, you know, their gods,
and then Christianity came through
and they sort of held onto some things.
A lot of Christmas just goes back well beyond Christianity.
So here are some of the things
that are similar between Odin and
Sinterklaas. They both ride on the rooftops on a white horse, so that the
Sinterklauses on a white horse. I think that happened to the boat.
I think it's the horse gets all the way. I can leave the boat with this big white horse
that can fly. Flying white horse. It seems weird, why don't you just take the flying haul?
I might get tired.
Oh yeah, true, it's a long way.
And if you're just going from rooftop to rooftop
then the horse gets a chance to have a break.
Yeah, but you've got to fasten and spank that's
a couple of thousand kilometers.
Yeah, that's too far.
No, absolutely.
You need the boat for that one.
That's a while.
That's why.
Steamboat.
Fastest mode of transportation.
Basically a cruise ship.
Cintclos gives chocolate letters to children and Odin gave rune letters to man.
It's got me no longer bow.
I'm a big chocolate fan but I've never had a chocolate letter.
What's that?
It's a letter filled with chocolate?
No, it's just a...
Like a letter M or a letter lot. That's how I read it
Or is it like the 10 commandments on concrete? Is it like a letter on chocolate? Oh
Deer juice I good with the ten a couple of tablets of chocolate. I'm so hungry right now
Yeah, but then would you eat it?
What if it was a really nice letter?
I definitely it would last about five seconds.
I would eat it.
I would eat it.
Never writing you a letter would choke them.
Don't waste your chocolate.
Just write you a bloody letter on paper like a schmuck.
Send me a text and give us a block of cadbury and I'll be really happy.
So the third one, again, the third one was that they both carry a staff and have
mischievous helpers. One of them, guards with black face, Siz, and the other one, Black Ravens.
Black Ravens. So Odin had Black Ravens and Hugin' and Munn, that's not
our pronounce, and they, both of those crews would report back to their master until
what the people were doing. Were they being good or were they being bad?
So they're spying.
Yeah, they're spying.
So that's how you're finding out.
Yeah, that was the thing that they...
What does Wart Piett sort of peering at you through the window?
It's kind of like the SSK stopper over there. Is that what the old century?
How does Santa know he just knows he knows he's always more efficient?
Yeah, why more if you're gonna make something up?
Just make it magic. Just make it the guy knows everything
Yeah, otherwise people kids are just gonna be scared of Ravens. Yeah. But, would you or you should be? If you're in the art days of Odin.
Yeah.
Anyway, so that's kind of my super superficial little rundown of Cinta Claus.
So how do we get from Cinta Claus to Santa Claus?
That's the ultimate question.
Invent the letter A.
Yeah.
That was it.
I said, all right, let's wrap it up.
End of pod. End a boy. Thanks everyone
Nearly every episode at some point I think it's usually me
Is it just like and we're done see later everybody?
Just like to wrap it up wrap it up really quick. She's always got somewhere to be
But very busy like I don't so I can demand you go on every time
She catches a steamboat onto an ex-gig
So so the Dutch brought the Cinta Cloud tradition to America with them in the late 1700s
Make sense. Was there thing they just brought it out with them?
And there was a big Dutch settlement called new Amsterdam. You heard of that? Yeah. I hadn't heard of it.
Well I've heard of it in the sense that there's a restaurant here in Melbourne called New
Est. Oh yeah there's a like a bar. Apparently that was that was what New York City was originally
called. Oh yeah. And so where they settled is now New York City. Yeah as a man on Manhattan was
New Amsterdam. Oh it's cool. Yeah, as on Manhattan was New Amsterdam.
Oh, it's cool.
Yeah, so it feels like the Dutch just got everywhere and went,
nah, not into it.
And then, the British or whoever,
that's what happened in Australia, kind of.
Yeah, they just don't like it.
And then, as land and stuff.
Yeah.
Well, they probably thought this is a long way
for Cinti-class to go on a steamboat in Spain, I mean.
He already has to get to the Netherlandsboat from Spain. I mean, yeah.
He already has to get to the Netherlands in November,
just to get around to everybody.
If he's got to then like turn around.
I love how he gets there early.
And he parades in the streets apparently.
I wonder what.
See Santa Claus is more humble, you know?
He's kind of drop-sing and does this thing
and he's like, no, no, no, no, no, fuss.
As a kid, did anyone explain away why Santa Claus is in every shopping center? Did your parents give you a story? I don't remember that being explained. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to it at that point. But you think if you chew on to it, then you won't get presents.
Yeah, I was worried.
Because you want to believe.
I wanted to believe so hard.
Yes.
It's fun.
Early.
Early primary school, I remember a kid saying to me, oh, bloody, saw my parents.
I'm like, you're talking about.
And he's like, yeah, my dad's, Sanos, just had parents.
Oh, come on.
And I go to him, this isn't how I found out.
I mean, this isn't how I first believed,
because I said to him, I was very,
I fully believed in Christianity.
That's all I was a big Jesus guy.
As a six year old or five year old,
and I said, if you don't believe in Santa Claus and you don't believe in Jesus
You not believe in Jesus John
Says like a Bible parable and you're so preachy. I love the like no
Yeah, I guess yeah, and he's like well anyway
I definitely saw my parents doing it
Yeah, and John's, well, did you?
I don't know where you did, John.
What if I was such a fucker?
I've never caught my dad dressing up as Jesus, so yeah, he is.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just Santa mate.
But I believe, I don't for a few years after that.
Good on you, for persevering.
I think I just, I loved it so much, but I just, yeah.
And I believe in Jesus. I was like 16.
But that even longer than when I was in there.
John comes down to goes, oh, you never believe what I saw
on the bloody weekend.
It's just dad.
Your dad is Jesus.
God damn it, John.
That frees me, but I'm from a lot of guilt.
That's great.
Oh, that Catholic guilt.
That's a 16 year old, yeah.
All right.
So yeah, I guess you can,
there's not obviously not a huge leap
from Cinta Cluster, Santa Cluster.
So I think it was just sort of the anglifification
of his name, but the evolution of Santa
still had ages to go, because it was still this guy
who was on a white horse, who was a serious guy,
and had Blackface helpers, which is, yeah.
Anyway, but a big thing,
probably the biggest thing that shaped
our modern vision of Santa Claus,
happened in 1822.
Do you know Clement Clarke Moore?
It's a great name.
He wrote a Christmas poem for his children called
an account of a visit from St. Nicholas.
It's a very boring title.
It is.
It's now better known time. It is.
It's now better known as,
Tos the Night before Christmas.
Much better ring to it.
Much better.
So I didn't realize that,
but everything in that poem was basically the first time.
It was true.
I didn't realize.
Yeah, that is a factual account of a night.
A full Christmas.ledged man.
So a lot of the things in that poem,
was just from his fantasy and a few things he just sort of picked up
from different bits and pieces and brought them all together.
So that was the first time he was called Jolly.
It was a right Jolly old elf,
but he was seen as being an elf like a small guy at this
stage. I was so Santa was small. Yeah, but after this poem, but not long after that, he became the
fully grown human man and the... You grew up. Magic man. Yeah, yeah. So in this poem we had a
portly figure. He was delivering presents on Christmas Eve with 8 flying reindeer and the ability to ascend a chimney so he was
He in came up with the reindeer basically. I feel like Dave's the kind of guy who can name all the reindeer. Oh good. Yeah, I was gonna ask that
I can't I reckon you can do it. Dasha, Danza, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donna, and Blitzen.
But do you recall?
That's right, I had to sing Rude of the Red Nose Rindu when I was dressed in the fat suits.
Of course you did.
That was it, in order.
That was it.
And so he, our man...
It was like a fucking wall.
He named him.
He named him.
That's where the names come from.
That is a legacy.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool, yeah.
But the original ones were called Dunder and Blixum.
Oh.
And they've been changed to Donner and Blitzen over time,
probably because they sound slightly more like real words.
Dunder.
That's right.
Clement, come on, mate.
Come on, mate.
Pull your head out of your own. You nearly got it there. I mean, you're making up all his bullshit anyway, but come
on, make it believable, would you? Dunder, not a name. Dunder. Never heard of it. Dunder struck.
That particular idea has an electric guitar. So he's seen as one of the main guys who created this modern vision of Santa
the other guy was a political cartoonist named Thomas Nasty.
Nasty.
Nasty, yeah, Nasty to his, to his birds.
Yeah, his bros.
In 1881, he drew a cartoon that is the first representation supposedly of what we see
is the modern Santa
Corps. So, his cartoon appeared in the publication Harpers Weekly and it depicted Santa as
a rotund cheerful man with a full white beard holding a sack of toys. So, here's a question
who came up with the red color of Santaers get up. Um, why, you believe it may be the government.
Hey, is it a, it's the man.
Is it a very, which government, which administration?
Oh, Nixon.
Yes.
It was Nixon.
Nixon, this sum was up.
I would have heard what I get was all about.
My time at the top.
I'd like a red thundercloth.
Yeah.
I think it may be a very successful and American company.
Possibly.
It was all my.
The drinks company, is it?
Coca-Cola.
Is it Coca-Cola?
That apparently.
I fully believe that, but apparently that is a myth.
Oh my god.
Apparently, it was our man, Nass, had a lot to do with it. Nasty.
Oh, Nass.
I'm a big fan of snopes.
Whenever I hear something that I'm not, you know, snopes.com, it's like a, kind of like
a myth-busting.
Oh, cool, cool, yeah.
So whenever you see something that's gone viral, before I'm like, that seems too good
to be true or too fucked to be true or something like that, I'm like, I can't just enjoy this.
Yeah. Do you just go into snopes and you type in is Steve Irwin dead? Yeah. Yeah. Well he is. Okay.
I can, yep. Put the profile picture up. Here it goes.
That's right. May and Steve. You won't save that time.
Anything right. Your time at the top. I just think I've got it.
Too soon that. Now he's been dead. No, he's been dead for, he's done in 2006.
That's a good year.
Broke you also, darling.
Oh, God, not a good year for big oldies.
Good year.
10 years next year.
10 years the least.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Well, I'm assuming we'll have a public holiday.
Oh, bloody hell.
Oh, one day.
Well, we don't even have that, we have that feast every year, it's like sending us.
Yeah, that's the...
Isn't it a bit like you'd go the birthday?
Yeah, you'd go the birthday.
I don't know if they knew what day it was, I guess.
They brought...
They... because there's no official record.
Did he even exist?
We're still about to see that one, yeah.
Did he exist? Nobody knows.
I'll just read another quote directly off
Snopes if you know mine.
When I looked up their Coca-Cola
did Coke.
The idea was that Coke's famous
red colored cans and
bottled bottles back then.
What I assumed they brought in.
So this is what they said.
It is not true in any realistic sense They brought it in. It's a love of snow. So this is what they said.
It is not true in any realistic sense that Coca-Cola created the modern Santa Claus.
They did not invent the now familiar rotund-bearded fellow clothes in red and white garb.
Nor did they pluck him from a pantheon of competing visually different Christmas-time figures.
And what a great way with words they have it snowed.
Figures and elevate him to the supreme symbol of Christmas gift giving. The red and white
Santa figure existed long before Coca-Cola began featuring him in print advertisements and
he had already supplanted a bevy of competitors to become the standard representation of Santa Claus before he began his tenure as
a pitchman for Coke.
Snoted!
He got snoped, or Coke got snoped.
But yeah, it's um, Coke.
I think that is a, I reckon that is a really widely held belief that Coke did come out
I fully believe.
Well, once you say it, I'm like, oh yeah, that would make sense, like I would believe
that.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
Because he, I think they use him in their advertising a lot.
And I reckon it definitely helped push it along
as been right in the middle of the...
The zeitgeist.
I was gonna say a zeitgeist.
I'm going, should I have a cracker zeitgeist?
It's one of those words.
You've nailed Cinta Klaus today.
So you're on fire.
So, great.
You've fluently spoken Dutch today. you're on fire. Great. You've, you've,
you've fluently spoken Dutch today.
According to Britannica again.
I think this show might need a translation, so much Dutch.
Yeah, look at.
For our international listeners.
Well, all right, let, I'll, I'll, I'll say this
in what I assume is Dutch.
Accounting to Britannica.
That's super racist.
Okay, good.
At a point, I feel it's funny
I think some feel racist when it's about a wealthy white
major yeah I think doing an impression of it he's my
being an amazing pressure racist I don't think that's racial you just not
just not as talented as accents as I am as you may have heard my terrible
Richardson impression that five seconds that That was pretty good. It was.
And your Santa Claus accent, as you said before.
Apparently, Scottish was not even trying for that.
That's how good I am.
You don't even try.
I won't even try.
You have to try my racism.
Comes naturally.
Exactly.
I'm a natural racist.
Let's add that out of context.
So according to Britannica, Nass was the one who gave Santa his bright red,
trimmed bright red suit trimmed with white fur.
Also, he gave us, or gave Santa,
the North Pole workshop.
He gave him elves and he gave him his wife, Mrs. Claus.
He gave him a lot for you.
Very generous.
I thought it was crazy, a political cartoonist had,
who would have just the thing he did one day? Yeah, he just whipped it up. Wouldn't have thought it would
have had any sort of lasting imprint, but it changed everything. That's like a huge legacy.
Nasty man. I found this kind of interesting. I looked up on the Coca-Cola website to see if they
were at all claiming it, and they also said that it wasn't them. But they did say...
it all claiming it and they also said that it wasn't them. But they did say, um, in 1942, in 1942 Coca-Cola, it's this off the Coke website. They introduced the character along
with their Santa and their advertisement called Sprite Boy.
That sounds like a character I could fly.
I was going to say Sprite Boy, that's the title for you.
And this was, so this is in 1942,
and that character appeared with Santa Claus in there
and adds throughout the 40s and 50s.
It's Sprite Boy.
And Sprite Boy.
The year is that hit 42.
Oh look, here's Santa Claus and his friend Sprite Boy.
It's not too funny to look here sad to close and his friends sprite by
And he got his name due to the fact that he was a sprite or an elf Yeah, okay, and it wasn't until the 60s the crew gave an introduced the popular beverage sprite
It was pretty right. Yeah, it was pretty sprite. I thought it was just a horrible
Yeah, you think it was a horrible time. Oh, that was a horrible time
Did you want me to do some more of my 1940s announcer voice?
Yeah, please tell us tell us about his little baby friend lift
Infanta
I'm not doing it
So that's pretty much all I was gonna chat about Santa there are so many other
about Santa. There are so many other... Love Buffana, Buffana, I think. Is the Italian? It's a woman.
Oh, she's so good.
She's like a little hunts that I love.
She's like a nunner. Yeah, I love it.
And I'm pretty sure she gives presents,
but I think they might also be food involved because Italian.
Is this one that I really like?
The presents are bread.
That also came in... I think it's love Buffana. I'm sorry if I said that wrong to any Italians
I'm like Google while you finish just yeah you do I don't want to go like an idiot. Yeah
So there was there's this one guy
Christ kind maybe Chris kind
Can you say Christ boy Christ boy, which is basically what it is. Oh my God, really?
It's basically just a bit.
Kind of like a God child or something like that.
Little Jesus, okay.
And this is another character I'm born to play.
Christ boy.
Is it Christ boy?
What's your name?
Christ kind.
Christ kind.
And he came about as well because of the Protestant Reformation in 16th-17th century Europe
And that was because they didn't want to be you know, they were taken or they didn't want to be consumed with the saints
They weren't boosting up the saints. They wanted just to be crossed and God and stuff
So it ended up been
That's when a change from December 6th to Christmas Eve in a lot of places,
like the gift giving change and a little boy cross-con camera round in...
Creepy.
Drop presents on ya.
Um, apparently.
Boom.
Yeah, but I'm gone.
I think I tried to cross-play.
It was so funny.
Oh man, I'm gone.
Tonka truck for you, man.
And I'm gone.
What do I get? What do I get? What do I get? What do I get? I catch raise a Christ boy Oh man, I'm going Tonka truck for you man, and I'm going
What do I get what do I get Dave?
What do I get Christ boy?
You want that raise a scooter?
Uh-oh and I'm going
I use that uh-oh
And I'm going a boom
You got Christ
See I tell you just got this gift for X-Hen
You did, car character work is really just
tank.
Do you know what I don't know. So hopefully you know what far
do you know father Christmas the British one? What's it? What
was his catchphrase? What did he say when he drops off
there? Jess, you know, you've got a British connection.
That is home.
And you know, I remember it.
Right. I had it. Surely it's just a matter of Daddy's home. Yeah, I'd remember that thing. That's not great.
I'm panic.
I'm panic.
Surely it's just to marry Christmas a few hos.
I feel like Daddy's home slowly.
No, no, no.
Daddy's home is pretty.
I'm puttamy, sorry.
I'm butty-ah-he-he.
Oh no, I'm sorry he's British.
Daddy's home.
Still doing the really gags to hand gestures though.
He. Daddy's home, mother gesture so. Daddy's home motherfuckers. Daddy's home.
Daddy. Daddy's home.
Corb, lie me, Daddy's home.
Home for Christmas. Daddy's home in me.
Home for Christmas. Home for Oxford for Christmas.
So, Father Christmas of the English one,
it has no real connection at all to the Santa Claus story
It's a separate one, but now over time the two have kind of merged together
and Father Christmas has taken all like Santa Claus has kind of
Got a bit of globalification going on
Globalization. Oh my god. I'm gonna. to bed. I was like goblins for cash
Right. Globalization Santa is the number six cause for CO2 gas emissions. No
Terrifying the planet. So so Father Christmas started a separate thing or in the around a thousand years ago and
And he used to say daddies
But over time that's been Americanified.
And that's-
People's voice.
That- That is home.
More American.
Daddy.
Daddy's home.
Daddy's home.
Daddy's home.
Children.
Okay, I said, so you'll start.
Hey there.
Hey there.
You have already put it in your mouth.
No, okay.
Okay, I'm gonna whisper you from the beginning. You're so dumb. there too no
you're going to
to eat there for you
oh dear me
well you've really scared a lot of
generations around the world
okay dokey
maybe a bit Canadian.
Okey dokey, I'm just south of the Canadian border.
Okey.
Oh my god.
That's not good.
Now I'm just worried about something historical.
We're just laughing.
No, he's trying to get...
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
What's the Australian Santa?
Santa. Santa. What would he car. What's the Australian Santa? Santa.
Santa.
What would he say? What's his thing?
All right.
Right, I'll ride up.
Right, I'll ride up.
Tasha, get in the car.
Prancer.
I'll just be a jiff.
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Start it up.
All right, fuck it right. Shoot me up. I'm a couple hours behind schedule.
Should be right. Yeah, so far I've found that in here. I just thought Father Christmas
and Santa Claus was was the same. But apparently it's slowly becoming the same thing,
but he started in a totally different spot. I just want to say wouldn't it be so weird if you
overlook all the other changes for you to come back to life in about 1800 years time and
your life story is slowly evolved into that millions billions around the world celebrated and then people dress up in shopping centers
Yeah, and you're like that doesn't even fucking look like me. That has nothing to do with me
But you but that's supposed my name. They're like yeah And it's all come from you. I suppose if you are because one time
If you put together some brony boys
That's right. You put them back together. You do one fucking miracle
And they're still talking about you. I didn't know you're done. No let it go people let it go come on
I did other stuff. I was a bishop
I probably I was probably a bishop that's the only thing I know for sure about myself
Probably a bishop
It's a long time ago. I got a pretty bad memory
I um why is there anything out do you have any other knowledge like I've found that I didn't know anything about any of that
Yeah, I just thought I assumed it went way back
Not just a couple hundred years to New York City.
No, you are.
There's where a lot of, or not even, a lot of that stuff came, is less than 200 years old.
So red suit, the flying reindeer's.
Yeah, it's pretty amazing how it spreads.
Like it starts with something so small and then, you know, now it's just what we accept.
And it just because it's so happened in this, like it relatively small period where the US was the dominant cultural power like in the history of the
world that's something gonna be a blip but because it was a blip at that time
maybe it's gonna morph again maybe when China just dominates us with their
culture it'll become like it'll change again. Yeah maybe. I don't wonder. I'm
pretty sure that Santa is the most frequently appearing character in movies.
Right.
Like on Iron Debes, it's got like 800 something crazy.
It's a melon in the Santa Claus.
Right, man.
So one, two, three credits right there.
Did you want to, because you asked before how we found out?
Yes, I thought that would be an ice way to finish. Mine's a little bit, it's not that interesting,
it's that I found the wrapping paper
that was used on the Christmas presents in the cupboard.
And I was like, hang on a sec.
That's great.
What are the chances that Mum and Son
to shop at the same place?
Hey, the North Paws are long way away,
they wouldn't have this paper there, it's not really.
Yeah, my brother's seven years older than me too,
so he had to keep it, he had to just keep a lid on it for a long time. So how old were you? I reckon I was probably
seven or eight. So he's, is that old to have found out? Not old, not as old as me. I reckon
I had my suspicions that that sort of when I went to mum like mum come on. Tell me,
I'm a big girl now. Well, I was not a big girl till I was 10. You found out 10, that's alright.
Well I thought for a, I reckon for two Christmas this beforehand I thought about it.
You had your suspicion.
I had suspicions but I, like you man, I wanted it to be real and I remember exactly where
I was.
Took my my side into a, to a run suite off the master bedroom.
He's from the affluent ace.
Oh no, my parents have just had it on sweet.
Oh my god.
Your also from the affluent ace. Took no, my parents have had it on sweet. Oh my god. You're also from the affluent
ace. Took her aside and we close the door. She was probably thinking that I was about to ask like a
question about what sex or where babies come from, but I was like, Mum, is Santa real? And I was hoping
that she was going to be like, of course it is, and I'd be like, great, run away, ever asking
if she's like, I'm not and it was it was bloody hard
breaking that's tricky it feels like now she's the right thing though she
probably did I would I would have asked the follow-up question before you know
what I said what do you ask yeah and then maybe yeah what do you think what's
John been saying now yeah bloody John but you're sis you have an older sister
yes just three she's three years old she old. She's used early teens by this stage. Yeah, man, I nearly spoiled it for my cousin's one Christmas. Oh, you they're like, maybe I was 13 and they,
because I wasn't trying to be a dickhead about it,
but they were like, oh, this one's from San and I'm like,
oh, good one.
San and I were like,
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
they didn't, they didn't ruin it for them.
But look, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
but look, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't,
they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, kids and I'm third so like it was my job to shut the middle ones up so they
didn't say anything to the little ones so they'd say yeah they can look what
Santa brought and they do the eye rolling and stuff and I would just punch them
I was like you shut up you don't ruin it for the little ones.
It isn't it isn't mean thing but then I thought because I really genuinely
never feel that excited and it feels like this real magic thing.
Yeah.
So I feel like the gift of that is bigger
than the fucker fucking them over by lion to him.
And all of that turned out fine.
Yeah, it's not like a thing you're hurting them with a lie.
And I used to like lose my shit
because we leave out a carrot.
Yeah.
And then like that mama.
Yeah, and you'd be like, oh, the right. You say the
car. I left Santa a little here.
Yeah, it doesn't make looking. I'm going.
I took cookies and I'm going. That is gone.
So what he said is that is home. That is gone.
But that's anything that makes it even cooler to think back and go like all the little efforts
that you've been put in.
And I reckon I checked the bin too.
So I reckon they would have either had to eat it
or dispose of it very craftily.
You were totally the opposite of me
because I was going, I'm like going,
I'm pleasure, I believe in it.
It's definitely true, not looking for any evidence
to prove otherwise.
But I remember one time, which I thought funny years later, when I
thought back to Dad's like, I reckon Santa might want a Guinness tonight.
We'll play, Dad. Yeah, well played. And it was one of his Guinness's, but still.
Yeah, you didn't have to go out and buy a Guinness, but Dad was like, I don't want to drink
the milk or pour it out because that's way too old. So just leave Santa a Guinness.
Yeah, pretty sure Santa wants some of the black stuff
these year.
He's had a long night, you know, like he's got a...
And you're thinking, is he on...
He has to be all sugar and milk.
He's got a 0.05, drink and drive for Santa.
Bloody idiot.
Magic, rainy, they know where they're going.
They're fine.
But it's put into auto-pollars.
So I was told, I reckon I was about six or six,
five or six when John told me on the code
rank. Yeah, what's John doing now? Probably in prison. I think it's don't pretty well. I don't know
about nothing to do with it. He's in prison. I'm sure he's doing quite well. He's in prison. Oh,
dead. Oh, both. Yeah. He's in prison. He's in prison about to be dead when the inmates undoubtedly
was into this podcast. And I'm like, John, you ruined Christmas.
I'm a shaker in the show.
John, that's a pretty specific name.
That must be you.
I don't know many Johns.
Anyway, Matt, sorry to go on.
So yeah, and I reckon little things like that happen.
And I would have seen, I reckon one time I saw a present
that coincidentally was in my Santa's pillowcase.
We went from the affluent,
she probably had stockings, we just used up turns.
Santa Sack, thank you.
And my brother's was bigger than mine
and it shat me for so many years.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, my brother's sack was bigger than mine.
And it shat you.
Ha ha ha.
My brother's big sack.
David, David.
David's a shit.
Oh yeah.
Ha ha ha. That's a sentence I thought I'd hear.
That's Christmas.
That's Christmas.
Edited.
And back in.
Yeah, a little tidbit somewhere else.
Anyway, um, yeah.
So I kept denying it to you.
I kept denying it and I, I'm so fully blurted and Christmas was good.
So good.
And I reckon, I reckon my younger brother might have even caught on before I did.
How much younger?
It's nearly three years younger than me.
That's so great.
But the time I fan it was in grade four, so it would have been...
Nine or ten?
Yeah, for a grand ten.
That's right, that's when the real men find out, Matt.
And we got back in from lunch and Miss Avia said to the class
Now obviously you're all old enough and smart enough to know that Santa doesn't exist
Teacher well you would get letters from parents things that happened
Facebook post from parents straight on to the school Facebook that's a no
Obviously and it makes you feel like an idiot
you just have to try and hide
yeah yeah no
I was totally like an unremembered the class of just like
yeah yeah
and I'm like
yeah
he's joking back to us
oh my god
I don't know
I'm not an idiot
I'm a Xavier
why are you even asking?
Oh god, if anyone should be dead now, is that woman?
Now I'm also imagining Matt as a 10-year-old,
but just a smaller version, like beat and all.
There's like a tiny little beat in ten years.
Crying out of you.
And like he's voice is that deep at ten as well.
Did you have glasses when you were little as well?
Yeah, the glasses were lighter.
I only had them in the last couple of years.
Okay. I held off. Oh my god so cute. That's an awful story. Yeah that's really sad.
I hope his saviour is out there and I hope she's dead. Yeah I hope she's in prison.
I hope she's dead. That's in a shallow night. I hope she didn't really disturbing end. I hope an ex-husband came back for her.
I hope she was stalked and burnt.
She can't say that.
That's a re-Christmas.
What a lovely way to finish! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and all joking. Well that is the end of our- I don't know if she deserves this. I can't let you actually wrap up, sorry.
Well there's a couple of people who have come to the end of our first ever Christmas special guys.
Oh first of many hopefully. Thank you so much.
I put it up there with the Alph Christmas special,
whereas Mistake of Ratoi and given to a young girl dying of cancer.
That's, it's truly touching, Matthew.
Which is a better way to go. I put a
ride up there. And, er, probably a three, isn't it? That was death in both.
Yeah. Poignancy. And health. And health.
Yeah, health always. I feel like Dave slowly just giving up.
Should we sing a carol?
Yes.
Yeah.
We'll sing a carol underneath you, Dave.
Yeah, what's the sound that we're singing?
I was singing a way in a manger.
Okay, go for it, Dave.
I feel like I'm...
Okay.
Ah, way in a... So guys, thanks so much for listening to our Christmas special for 2015. If you do enjoy the show, you can send us a little Christmas present by reviewing your self-subscribing
on our tunes. We love those five stars. And we're on Twitter of course at DoGoOnPod.
First book as well
How long can I draw this out how long are you gonna keep singing in the backer in there with um
We wish you all a very Merry Christmas. We'll be back next week with a another episode from the Fabulous Jess Perkins
Who knows who she'll wish death upon next week
And I say my name is Dave Wanuki. Thank you and good night and good luck.
No, that's not Christmas. Oh my god. Oh, Merry Christmas.
And I happy new. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place.
You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more.
Like festive dressing for you in your home.
Experience the magic at your favorite store. Or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping
and returns.
Need it faster? Pick up your order today in store. The best gifts are yours at Nordstrom.
Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.
You could enjoy a recession-resistant career
and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities
and often flexible work environments.
Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career
evaluation.
You could start your new career in months, not years.
Take classes online or on campus,
and financial aid is available to qualified students,
including the GI Bill.
Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu.