Do Go On - 88 - Salem Witch Trials

Episode Date: June 28, 2017

Dave reports on the Salem Witch Trials of 1692. And thank goodness the town listen to some children accusing people of bewitching them, because it turns out they have a HUGE witch problem. But don't worry, these Puritans quickly figure out how to deal with the heretics. A story of witchcraft, the time Dave was in The Crucible and Bette Middler...Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPoTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail]  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. See you! Hello and welcome to another episode of DoGo on my name is Dave Warnocky and I'm joined by Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello, Jess Perkins. Hello, Matt Stewart. Hello, Dave Warnocky. Hello, Dave Warnocky. Hi guys, Jess, you just sent a text.

Well, if you're going to do it, you're going to have to read it out to the class, I'm afraid. Okay. All right. If you're passing messages around, you will have to read it. I put it down before read it to the class. Okay. It was to my friend Katie. Okay. The sense source of Katie. And I said Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Lang. Oh, no. Katie A-ling. And I said, I put it I said I put it up I put it up and then deleted it and then put it up again Oh you put it up was that worth it was that worth it? Hey, he's gonna use phone out now You're gonna read out your last text message there Matt. Okay Yeah, Dave you're taking yours now too. This is my last text yep huge game How many use?

One, two, three, four. I'm seeing one and a half, so I'm not sure exactly. Okay. Why are you seeing one and a half? We've got to talk about why Matt is studying the episode in such a state. No, it's for, I was too close. For what? Why Matt's studying the episode in such a state?

What do you mean by that? I reckon no one would have even noticed. I reckon they would have further along. I don't know. It's Maddie's been at the pub, haven't you? Well, I mean only recently before that I was drinking stout with male man. Yeah. We were watching ZZ Top videos on YouTube. Did your dad also have a beard? Uh, sometimes. Did he have a mustache man? Did he have a beard today? No, the moment is just the good time. I just imagine you and your dad both with beards watching men with beards playing music. I'm just going, this is how Sunday should be.

There's a great photo made my brother and my dad when we all had beards and it's a cracking photo. We were out beating ZZ Top. Because you know ZZ Top are only two out of three beards. The one that doesn't have a beard. It's named beard. Oh that's very good. I thought I was gonna give Dave a fact He didn't know but of course he bloody knows everything just love be it's I mean facts everything

Wow, anyway huge game huge game was my last text cool no worries Was that your last was my last? This is all good stuff good great To be fair was actually a Facebook message all good stuff. Good great great. Mine to be fair was actually a Facebook message. Oh yeah. Well my last Facebook message was hey guys I'm running late to the podcast. I'm at the pub. And Dave's was we're here. We're here. We're both here. You're dog. Yeah. There was some swears. Massive massive dog. Anyway Anyway, so you're maths, maths under the influence, but only a little bit, you're fine.

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm also a picture of health. You're under the influence of... Disease. Pementes, what I came in with today. I know, I woke up this morning with no voice at all. So this is what I sound like today, and I'm sorry. I tried to sing in the car on the way here,

and I couldn't, and that hurt my soul. I was like, well, I want to sing, you know what I'm saying. I know you'll have to sing in the car on the way here and I couldn't and that hurt my soul. I was like, I want to sing. I know you love to sing. I'd love to say to listen a challenge and that is you only have to listen to maybe the first five or ten minutes of each episode and tell me out of the 88 we've released it for how many Jesses sick on because it's crazy. It's only over the last six months I reckon. But remember the other time there were three weeks in a row where you were just coughing, we had to stop the recording. That was six months ago. second. I bet remember the other time there were three weeks in a row where you were just coughing, we had to stop the recording. Yeah, that was six months ago.

Was that this sickness? Has kept going. No, no, funnily enough, I ditched that sickness and then I was fine for a while and now I've got this one which is good. Hashtag pray for bo. Always praying for bob. But anyway, so we've got tipsy mat, sick, Jess, but luckily it's a Dave Warnocky report and those are the finest reports in all the land.

Rock solid Dave. Rock solid Dave. All right, Dave, take it away. All right, let's do this episode. Now I put this one to the petrion vote. But, and I hope you vote on it if you are eligible to, which I think everyone on there is, because I put up three topics, and again, Matt,

I don't know if I'm doing it wrong. This one, one by two votes what that was doing it wrong I did not have a single close vote everyone was a landslide yeah cuz you gave two shit options and one I disagree one time the magic school bus loss and other time keen for pain loss yeah you're pain loss. Yeah, I was shocked and appalled when I said no to an hour of pain talk. Some really interesting ones lost. Doctor who lost in a vote by landslide, so did Saturday Night Live. There was a lot of sex pistols.

Sex pistols, I thought it would have been awesome. Yes. Anyway. Anyway, so I did a, I've been grouping my three together. I've been going through the hat grouping things together under a vague topic like a theme a theme if you will Yeah, and I will because you suggested because that was a smart word a very Suggestible yeah, and and my theme was I won't say what the other two were because they I think the other two definitely Deserved be to be done and again in the future, so I'll put them back in the hat

Yeah, but the theme was I'll go back in the hat. Don't make it sound like some of them get taken out of the hat and some don't. No, but I feel like they're a bit tainted. Like people, I might think, I've already read that one out. I want to keep people on their toes here. Not at all.

I'm definitely going back in some of those rejects. Yeah, sex pistol's magic school bus. Now that I've been let loose from the vote, and I can just do, you can do whatever you want. Div wildly in the hat. I'm going to go dip some of them rejects double-dipper. Yeah, now so my theme was people die What who says when what because that's not true is it because all the listeners are sickos and they love

death yeah, not a mess in this room. Oh, some people die. Some at times. You might as well like everyone dies one day. Holy moly, all right, cool. Let's proceed. I'm not telling you. All right.

Well, my question is to get us on the topic. When I say Salem, you immediately think of the cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, of course. But what is the second thing you think of? Which hunt? I was thinking. Sabrina's wacky arts, one of them named something. Hilda. Hilda and the other one named something Zelda. Yeah. And also the kind of dopy boyfriend is very cool. What is happening? And the enemy at school that sometimes became a friend.

Libby. I remember Libby. I remember Libby. Yeah, I remember Libby. Libby was back. Was the principal's name? Don DeLinger? Principal Don DeLinger?

No, no. That's from something else. Anyway, yeah, Salem, do you principle don't do no, no, that's from something else anyway Yeah, Salem you think of all of the other characters from Sabrina the If I'm thinking Salem yes, okay fair enough. No, I'm thinking of that. What was that play? About the this sort of stuff Focus, focus starring bet midler. Yes, I'm thinking about Middler, I'm singing Wind Beneath My Wings, I'm singing Beaches, I'm thinking... First Wives Club.

First Wives Club. That episode of The Simpson She Was In. Oh yes. And we're a crusty matter. Come back special. Yeah, I'm singing all these things. Cool. Now put those things together.

You have a nut. Come high here, you fool. You have a heart attack. I feel you both. If everything happens, I feel you. Thank you, Miss Middler. Misses Middler. I feel you both. And I feel you both. I feel you both.

I feel you both. My Owings. You are the wind beneath my wings. You're ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do you remember when Baz, Ray did Romeo and Juliet? Oh, it was awful. Yeah, that was what I was doing. You were channel awful, Ray Teller. You were channeling Baz Lumin, aka always terrible. You know what my lifelong dream is to release a series of works called Mats Juer bookchers the classics. Bookchers? That's true.

That's true at bookchers, it's not even... I've put you in the word butchered. He's good. Anyway, that's really good. So Jess said witch hunt, which is very much on the money. Matt said play. Also a very famous play of it. Oh hang on.

It's not the... What's the one about the... Oh shit! And everyone's called... I've already started this. What have they've all got funny first name? Goodie. Goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, good first name? Yeah, good goodie goodie goodie pretty chid and no this isn't it nope you think they've Terry Terry Pritchett, that's what I think you have a good proctor proctor yeah, okay hang on I can the crucible the crucible

Yes, is the play based on these events. That's right and those events are the Salem which trials of 1692 Very good events are the Salem Witch Trials of 1692. Oh, that's very good. Yeah, that's fine. I did the Crucible in high school. Like, we did the play. We did the play. Yeah. And we all did. You even did it, Matt.

Even made. And it was a recent play for you. Well, what? It's written. At the time, it wasn't a play. It was current events. Yeah. It was.

Matt Stewart does the news. Matt Stewart bookages the news. Yeah we did it in media studies. Oh that's cool. Oh we performed it though. Oh I just studied it. You performed it. Well I went to school with a lot of the kids. Hopefully Matt will have some sort of insight from you then. Gary Proctor who was Biddy Proctor's dad? Bitty. He was actually my 40 coach. Gary Proctor. Gary Proctor, yeah. Highway.

Yeah, yeah. Oh no. Small world. What position did you play, the team? I played a center half back. Sure. That sounds made up. If they've made up positions, wing, center forward, slash, boundary, umpire.

Some of you, the position was slash water boy. Oh man, I was the water boy in my cricket team at school. That's cool. Boundary Empire. So you were a physician? Slash Water Boy. Oh man, I was the water boy on my cricket team at school. That's not surprising at all. Well, it was great. They were very hydrated. Nothing but the best for my boys. Alright, Salem Witch Tiles.

This suggested by several people, very popular topic. This topic was suggested by Jesse Britain. Jesse Britain. This is all on Twitter. These are Phoebe Cowling. Phoebe Cowling. Jamie Smith or... Jamie Smith. When I went back and checked these tweets, she asked Matt to do it. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Oh really, that's cool. No one ever asked me specifically to do it. Thanks. Who was it? Jamie. Thanks Jamie for the trust you bestowed in me.

I think Jamie is a high school teacher in our students are just done This is mid last year. I imagine right? I was looking but they're just finished the crucible Which is a great play, but we'll talk about that at the end of this Connor core who is at some underscored dank underscores shits on Twitter There again some dank shoots, which is a very long handle, but well worth it I've ever got long handles Twitter. Very good. Sometimes shoots. Which is a very long handle but well worth it. I have a long handle. Oh, we don't all do it. And Chris Williams suggested it this morning after

all right so thank you very much everyone suggested it let's bookure this story. Did Chris some suggested just in time or really he's just jumped on? He's jumped on the bat. He's hacked into my Google Docs and seeing what I've written and once acclaimed the credit. He's hacked into the mainframe. Well played Chris Womens. Right, so to set the scene for this story of 1692, before this period, Europe especially had quite a history of supposed witchcraft. France, Italy, Germany, and England had thousands of witch hunts over three centuries. Between the 14th and the 16th centuries it is estimated that between 40 and 50,000 witches were accused, most of whom were women and most of whom were executed.

Uh oh. Now before this uh... early christians had been comparatively pretty cool with pagans not a people doing their own things are living uh... you know simultaneously with them but the roman catholic church started gaining power and in twelve thirty one Pope Gregory the ninth introduced the inquisition to expose heresy

heresy is belief or opinion contrary to mainstream religious beliefs. What do you need nine Gregory's? Gregory. That's too many Gregory's. Too many Greg's. Name it. Let's spoil the broth. Here's my top three, Greg.

Get away from a Greg. Gregory pick number one. Number two, Greg from Dahmer and Greg. Like a Greg, Greg. He's Greg. And number three, Greg the Sub-Scientism song. Sure. Thank you because I couldn't think of great Greg. He's great Greg. No, I'm sorry Greg the sub-scientism song. Sure Thank you because I couldn't think of another Greg. I should have gone top two Well, how about you added a Gregory the ninth because old mate Pope Gregory the ninth may have also been the first to accuse

Black cats as evil and As possible incarnations of Satan and ordered them to be killed. Wow. He sounds like an idiot It is is ordered black. Hello, voice. He ordered black cats to be killed. And it is said that because of this very few all black cats survive in Western Europe as a result. Wow. Like, I mean, how you started that by saying that early Christians didn't care about pagans and other people thinking about other things. That sort of suggests how wild it is that it's become a thing, right? It's fine. Early Christians were like, yeah, everyone believes in stuff because that's what

cross was like everyone believed in whatever, you know, if he was a real person, which I don't think many people think he was, but if you did think he was, that was his thing that he said was like everyone, we're all equal. And then all of a sudden, like hundreds of years later, people were like, yeah, cross. What he was about was fuck you and fuck you. And that cat is gonna die. So the Inquisition came along and then shit got very violent for cats and for people accused of lots of lots of things.

And our different countries had different Inquisitions, but their job was mostly to expose and get rid of heresy. Now in terms of the witch stuff, they based a lot of their witch hating on Bible Exodus 2018, which says thou shalt not pass. That's trying to do a lot of the rings Now it Thou tellt Thou Thou Thou Thou

Shalt Not suffer a witch to live She'll not suffer a witch to live Not sure I'll fully unpack that But where are the commas there? I think it's gonna be K. Is there a row of commas there? I'd never say what the suffer means there. Saffer.

You shouldn't let it happen. Don't let a witch live. Nafir. Yuck. Blah. And then a couple hundred years later in 1484, Pope Innocent, the Eight. Innocent?

Innocent, the Eight. Pope Innocent. Yep, so this is the Eight. Fuck yeah. Who wasn't so innocent? Oh, in fact, as he lay dying, he was said to have been given the world's first blood transfusion by this. Oh, so you're gonna say blowjob. As he lay dying, I've never experienced this before. He was given the, not only him, the world hadn't the world's first blowjob. That shelt not suffer a blowjob.

But he said to me, have been given the world's first blood transfusion by his Jewish physician, Jekomo Desan. Jekomo. Jekomo Desan Genesio. Who? Jekomo. Jekomo. Who had him drink the blood of three ten-year-old boys.

Eww! The boys subsequently died. So did the Pope. Anyway. He drank the blood of three boys. And enough to kill the boys and to kill himself. That's a lot of blood to take from the boys. So like, how much would you need to lose to kill?

That'd be a couple of leaders, right? And you know what I mean? He's drinking like six liters of blood. That's fucking cool. You know when you're sitting there and someone's like, you've got to drink this big amount. And you're just like, I don't know if it's like,

so he's sitting there, got, all right. There's so much tenorial boy blood. Oh, I'm full. I'm full of the bloody good. Oh, that's disgusting. Was that you at the pub earlier, mate? You just force them down those trees. I'm all force on that down. That's a free flow. Anyway, I bring up Pope Vincent the eighth because he declared witchcraft to be a heresy. From then on, if you found out that someone was a witch, you could kill them for it.

Sure. Bank. A witch hunt seemed to be often used by townsfolk to take out people they didn't like and the authorities didn't do much to help. The witch hunts turned people against each other and surprise, surprise people were often killed with very little evidence. Ha! Hmm. And there you go. In 1486, the idea of witchcraft and people being witches really took off because of a book called the Melius, Maleficarum, or the Hammer of the Witches.

It's a good little subtitle. The Hammer of the Witches. It's like a witch home hardware manual. That's a drill as a witch. Witches Hammer would have made a bit more sense wouldn't it? Hammer of the witches. You know maybe you're hammering the witches. Oh, all right.

Hello Pope Gregory. Now we're talking. Sounds like more Pope innocent territory. This is the hammer of the witches was written by Catholic clergyman. Heinrich Kramer. Good, no. And it was pretty much a witchcraft 101 guidebook that endorses the extermination of witches. It was a bestseller.

Second only to the Bible in terms of sales for almost 200 years. What? And really put witchcraft on the map. So it was a big seller. New York Times. The 200 years. The 200 years. The 200 years. But we got that in context. There's a lot less books back then.

Sure. There was only the two. Oh, there's two. So the second one too. So the top two. The second comes right after. I mean, do the worst book in the world also. Oh, no. And the Bible is the second worst book in the world. Goldie, yeah. Oh no, and the Bible is the second worst book in the world. Hahaha.

Hold here. The book was sort of guided people as to what to expect and to look out for for witches. The recommended procedures to spot and get rid of witches included torture to effectively obtain confessions. And death penalty is the only sure remedy against evils of witchcraft. Yeah, that makes sense. That's a waste. Torture people until they'll say anything that gets them out of the torture.

And then just kill them. And then kill them. And that'll solve the problem. That's real smart. That's a real good system. That feels like other things that happen sometimes. Look, I want to get too political. But I don't want you to get political at all. Okay, I'm gonna put away your beliefs and put them back and put them up my pants

Putting up your pants. So my beliefs are up your pants. Yep The time it was typical to burn heretics alive at the stake and Melius encouraged the same treatment of witches Now, bitches and witches. Witches were most commonly women as their minds are weaker and therefore more easily influenced by the devil. Wait, is this Dave making a comment? Yeah, is that an opinion table? Where do you get that from?

What's the source of that one, mate? That's the fucking Melius. Okay. What do you think, Dave? See, Melia's chapter three. We are weaker. Of course I don't believe that at all, but at the time, women are not treated well. In any of the centuries I'm going to talk about it, it's terrible. I'll be the feminist here.

Yeah, please, Matt, if you could try them in every time I did a great women, that would be great. Now, an almost surefire way to test if someone is a witch and you can still do this to this day is to look for the devil's mark, which could be somewhere on their body. Because the devil has entered them somewhere and left his mark. Yeah, he entered them.

I also feel like, if you, and this is probably the case, a lot of the time, there was no evidence of people being which is so you just pick any mark like a freckle. Oh devil mark. Devil mark. I've got a big freckle on my hip. Oh don't talk about your devil's mark here. I've got freckles here. Oh I'm actually showing them to me. I read a very full symbol. Look at that. They're a little triangle. Oh the triangle of death. Devil triangle. Devil triangle. Oh, no, I'm holding up the sign of the cross to get rid of you.

Repent, repent. Now, now, to find the devil's mark, you had to shave the person's body of all hair. Peabie care, everything gone. I'm gonna take age. Save it all. And if any spots or marks are found, they are then poked with a pin. What?

If blood comes out. Yeah, if it fled seriously, you were not a witch. Oh. If it did not bleed, you were unnatural and you were a witch. Well, surely you'd bleed. Why that spot, why not just anywhere? And also like, but don't people have freckles? Or just like, freckles that don't bleed?

Moles and you're like, you have spots on your body. Nobody's skin is just perfect. Have you seen me naked? No, thankfully. Well, I have. I can see freckles on your face from here. Yeah, they're all putting in post. Exactly.

That's all after effect. So I'm getting pretty good at it. Yeah, you are. You thought that one was real, didn't you? Yeah, I did. Wow. I don't even have a nose. He says nose is being impure. It's under the devil. Yeah, put a pin through it and it didn't bleach. It's got a devil's nose. I got a nose piercing it didn't bleed. I call him the devil snout. They call him the devil snout. They call him the devil snout.

Or a devil snout come over here. Yeah, what's that? What do you need? It's your shout mate. Oh yeah, no worries. Oh, snout, oh, I'm rich. It's not the devil snout. Because I saw myself. Now, another foolproof way of spotting a witch

from a non-witch was to dunk them into a lake. Because water is pure. It will obviously reject all evil. The theory of course being that a witch would float and that an innocent person would sink and drown. So pretty much, you're fucked either way here. Right. That's not true. Right, okay.

Humans float. So, okay, because I was saying if you float your We're gonna kill you anyway, but often that would like tie you to like a dunking thing So you can You're under and there's like are they died a pure death good on them this happened in the Simpsons you'd probably remember You're gonna mention that when do they do the dung? Marge gets thrown off a cliff Yeah, and she they say if she you know and they say the same thing.

Oh, the witch, yes, I do remember, that's right. She'll either die, a pure death or she'll fly. And she seemingly drowned, but then flew up on a broomstick. It was a Halloween special, I believe. No, no, this is just a normal episode. That's how wacky they've gone. I also, this is a great scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when they're talking about. But what floats? A duck!

Who were you who was so wise in the ways of science? It's like so stupid. So stupid. Now, all right, so that's the couple centuries beforehand. Now, then we have to, we get to the Puritans, who are at the center of this story. New England in North America had been settled by religious refugees seeking to build a pure Bible-based society. So they came from England and they set up New England in North America. Which is, that's where Boston and Suffolk is, right?

The New England Patriots. Very good football team. And they're a very pure football team. They came from Old England, mostly in family groups, rather than as they came from even newer England. It's a very confusing time. They came as family groups rather than as individuals and were motivated chiefly by a quest for freedom to practice their Puritan religion. Puritanism was a Protestant movement that emerged in the 16th century in England with the goal of transforming it into a godly society by reforming or purifying the Church of England of all remaining Roman Catholic teachings and practices. Most of these people came from England in the 1630s and 40s in a period known as the Great Migration. They lived in a

society where there was no separation of church and state and religion was everything. The original religious folk are known as the Pilgrims and they set up a the second successful colony in the US in Massachusetts. Just the state. Bussensin. Oh, thank you.

What that fact? Oh, thank you. Well, that fact. No worries. Now, not everyone was pure it. Some people went, some people just went because their old lives are so awful that the idea of moving to a wilderness on the other side of the planet actually seemed like a better option. Wow. So not everyone's on the same page, but most of them are, but they all remain British citizens after they made the move. Okay. Once in Massachusetts, the people lived closely with the sense of the supernatural. A big part of what later caused the hysteria of the later trials was that the Puritans light the idea of witches and devils because it meant that God was testing them.

Oh, okay. So they liked a good test because if you're being tested then you're probably doing the right thing because he's trying to be, oh you're doing pretty well. How about this curveball? Bang, witch, gotcha! I'm God. And I'm gone! Got it out.

God, come back quick! God and I'm gone! Quick! So full of human suffering now. Just like throwing curveballs. That's not how I'll be. God come back quick! God I'm not going! Quick! So full of human suffering now, just like throwing curveballs. Hahaha! That's not how I operate.

Mysterious ways. I'm pretty mysterious ways. Hahaha! Like killing the innocent and sometimes performing a pretty shit miracle. And curveballs. Yeah? Look, I, you know, I was an ultra-boy and I'll bet all these things. Okay, you know, about the curveball. Talk about the Christian curveball. Yeah. Look, I was an altar boy and I'll bet all these things. Talk about the Christian curveball. Yeah. Yeah, go on.

Okay. And Jesus, is this blasphemy? Probably. Yes. No, he's on the mound of St. Peter. And he's on the mound of St. Peter. And's on the mound of St. Peter and he and there's the wind up and the pitch is a curve ball. Babe Ruth at the plate has a swing south ball and it's a curve ball. He's swinging a miss uh witches he threw witches at him. Oh wow and he missed them. So Babe Ruth and that's how the curse of the great bamboo and he started. them. So, Babe. Jesus, through witches. And that's how the curse of the great Bambini started. So hang on. So, look at it on there. So that he threw witches at Babe Ruth. Yes. In a bowl. Okay, and he missed. He did it. Which means that he is also a witch. Yes. Got it. Curses of the great Bambini. Solved it. I'll call this episode to tell them which trials in brackets.

Because we don't need to do that one anymore. No, done. Now, the first witch trial in this new society was in Charleston in 1648. Margaret Jones, who was a midwife and practice medicine, was accused of witchcraft, and she was hanged. Oh, Maggie. So she was the first one to get accused and it went badly for her. Other witch trials came and went over the next few decades, but sort of here and there, not that many.

Okay. In Charleston. In Charleston. Were they doing the Charleston? Yes, she possessed them and make them... Broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, b from the waist up. Yeah you were doing it. Very good. You need to work on your leg work. Now never will. Always skip leg day. You're the Charleston gym. Yeah. Every day is upper body day. Yeah. Fair enough. I'm all hands. As people have said before. Now what's that? They said that. Come on. You're all hands on the dance floor. Okay. I'll keep away from you. I'm all hands on deck. I'll keep away from him. More hands on deck. Keep off my deck. None of these things make sense.

Or do they? Or do they? No. They don't. Which I'm forward for 40 years. In 1688, four Boston kids were supposedly possessed by good wife or goodie glover. Good wife. That was Danny Glover's mom.

Goodie Glover. And the inspiration for the show is the Good Life. Yep. Mrs. Glover. She was a good wife. She was. I've never watched The Good Wife. I assume it's just about a really good wife.

Well, you don't need to when you know so much about the setup. You know, that sort of follows on from there. I'm 12 for this shit. I'm 12 for this rigs. Greeds, I'm 12 for this shit. Ha, ha, ha, ha So, four Boston kids were supposedly possessed by a good work lover who's the mother of their family servant.

Oh, okay. You had me at rigs, but I've kind of lost track now, but I'm going to quietly try and catch out as you talk. So the family of the kids had a servant. The servant had a mother, as we all do. The mother was goody glover, correct? Now that. Yes. Okay, great.

Our four kids possessed are the kids were cured through prayer. Thank goodness. Yeah, pray for both. The witch, however, was executed. Oh, she was not cured through prayeray. She was not, she was cured through execution. But which me now, bitch. The witches get cured. What do they think when they're killed? Do they think they go to heaven from there? Oh God, no, no, no. So now one of the big purest and beliefs is, and I might get to this in a later section, is that they believe that only a few chosen people get to go to heaven.

And they're constantly looking for signs to see if they're the chosen few, and they test themselves all the time. That's healthy isn't it? Yeah, it's not a good sense. And they're like judging each other like you're not going to heaven. Very good idea. Very good idea. And it's the Simpsons where Homer's coaching.

Your cut. Your cut, sorry. If you're... Sorry, I'm the Simpsons. Okay, I'm just trying to subtly press your Dave and it'll do an Simpsons episode. The Simpsons part two. Futurama.

Oh, I love Futurama. That'd be so good. I just bring up this lady being executed because cotton mother, cotton mother, what a grenade, so good. Was the minister who investigated the incident and he wrote a book called Memorable Providences, a publication that became hugely influential in the nearby town of Salem. In the book he greatly detailed the symptoms of the witch, witchcraft that possessed the

children and the behavior of the witch and possibly put it into the minds of Salem as to what to look for in a witch and as to if you were possessed what you would do as a victim. So he wrote the witch hunt for dummies book. Pretty much. Every of those books that were something for dummies on everything. Everything. Sure, there's a witchcraft one. The hysteria of 1692 Allstems from Salem Village,

a farming community of approximately 500 people and the outskirts of Salem Town, a thriving seaport. The village was six miles from the sea and six miles from the main town but was still considered a wilderness settlement. Life was very tough out in the village. They were surrounded by forests and the forests. And the Puritan village folk lived in fear of the forest. They feared the forest could contain either Native American tribes who might sneak up on the town and raid it, set fire to instill this stuff stuff or it might even have the devil

kids are these people are really dumb they're real dumb is that you say? they scared a lot of stuff they scared a lot of a forest it sounds beautiful oh people would pay so much money now to go six miles out of a coastal town that sounds that's that's their million dollar properties yeah you get it the best of both worlds you get the forest and the ocean tree chain say change all within the one Yeah, it's short drive. Oh, street change. Street change Sounds great. I don't know the Can I look at my nature? I don't know what they've got till it's all gone. Yeah Yeah, the play for us put up a parking lot

They have turned this town into a giant parking lot. Oh, blah, blah, blah. Oh. Ah, because it was a new settlement, land disputes constantly broke out between residents. And the village was very much under the control of the Salem town, which the people in the village did not like the influence. The people had ongoing disputes amongst each other and to the town, which they had to travel to for church. Many of the villagers wanted their own church built in the village

so they wouldn't have to walk six miles every Sunday and back or nearly every day because they're so religious. Half of six miles. Six miles, so it's 1.6 Ks in a mile. Oh, okay. So 9.6 kilometers. That's a fair walk. That's not a bad walk.

So they're back. So they're doing 20k possible a day if you're over there. Half marathon a day. That's a big walk. It is but at the same time. A couple of hours. These are people who fully believe in God, right? Like if you fully believe in that, that doesn't feel like a huge sacrifice to make. That's a two, that's four hours of walking a day. It's crazy isn't it? So most of it's like if you fully... No, I don't have to say that's... I'm always surprised but... Well mean, you're not meant to.

You're just, or this is, if you fully believe in it, this is just time waiting for paradise. You're here for a tiny moment, and then you're up in paradise. So you've got to do some walking. But what about this, Matt? You can fully believe and have a church possibly be built in your village next door.

You can have it all. That would be way better. But is it, I mean,'t it all, isn't life meant to be sacrifice? But not everyone agrees with you Matt. What? But some do. So the people that were on the village that were closer to the town didn't mind because

they had to walk less, less distance. They were like I'm cool with walking three miles. I'm only three miles from town. So that was another sense. I'm just trying to build that a lot of these people are very annoyed at each other arguments about property lines grazing rights and church privileges were rife and neighbors considered the population as quote Quarrel some

There were also very anxious because the religion was so so strict The Puritans believed every person's fate was determined by God before birth, and the only few, select few, got to go to heaven to be saved. The rest are cast to hell forever. So that's what I'm talking about. They're trying to work out if you're going to hell forever or heaven forever. Ugh. I come from the place where just most people get in.

Why dad under? As obvious. Yeah, what a funny, what a, that sounds like a real brutal way to do a religion. Yeah. Like most of us are not getting in. A couple of. I'm keeping my eyes on everyone.

Yeah, that's so cute. That is full on. Are they constantly scrutinized themselves and each other? Everything they did could be a clue if they were bound for heaven or bound for hell. You just looked at me a bit weird when you said that. That's a clue. Yeah, yeah. You're bound for heaven or bound for hell. You just looked at me a bit weird when you said that. That's a clue. Yeah, yeah.

You're bound for something. Which one is it? What could it be? Well, let me just cut you off there because Jess, because a Puritan woman were expected to be silent and to look after their husbands and children. Women were seen to be much more likely to be tempted by the devil. So they were very oppressed in the society. Yeah, I just got a weird like pain behind my ear, which is a clue. That's got to be a sign. Sorry, I didn't mean to speak with

that being spoken to him. So sorry. I think I think it's Dave's right. I'll go back in the chat. Now all this children here, please, Jeff. Now, all this stuff combined with a small town constantly spying on each other and talking behind each other's backs and speculating about who we're going to have and who we're going to have, creates a very tense atmosphere thick with suspicion. Everyone is on edge. Oh, sailor, miss her.

Tense. You're getting there. How's that? Hey? Well, that's good. Yeah? Yeah, right. I think you better not.

There it is. Oh, don't you think? The karate chop. Oh, that's the good stuff. Oh, that's, I know. What do you mean sitting at a desk? Yes. I've done some real tension here, Salem.

Yeah, like a religious desk. Yeah, yeah. All right, let me work there for you. All right, is that, is that it, how's that? That's good. Let me know if it's too hard or too soft. Salon. Is this a clue?

We're going to heaven? You're in. You're in. I see if someone just whispered in your ear one day. You're in a, don't worry about it. You're in. Don't worry about these tickets, you're in. No, don't tell them. Don't tell them.

Don't tell them, but you're in. I bet there was a bit of that. Definitely. If you give me all your cows, God told me in a dream last night, you're in. I just need all your cows. Just give me all the cows. I just need all the cows. No, I'm not giving you all the cows for it.

I need them. For God. God told me. Yeah, God needs me to have him. He needs me to have your chaos. That's what God would have wanted. That's what God does want right now. What's that God?

So I've got him in my ear, so one sec. You want all the sheep as well. All right, I'll ask him. Did you hear that? What's that? He's wife. Okay. I mean, that's what you work, God.

I don't want you were, God. I don't want to let down God. God, I'd hate to be. Oh, the balls in your court, mate, but I've got the big man upstairs. That's who I'm answering, too. It's got a message from the boss. He's my boss and he's your boss. He's God.

Eventually, they got a local minister. The first three stayed for only a couple of years, each, departing after the congregation, failed to pay their full rate. They didn't want to pay their minister much. That's classic, a man of God. Pay up or fuck off. I'm going to need a pay rise. Again, the God is in my ear. God says I've done a really good job this year, and deserve a pay rise. Again, God is in my ear. God says I've done a really good job this year

and deserve a pay rise. I will need a book. As per industry standards, we'll also need a thousand stocks. And I would like to, for my annual leave to roll over so that I can go to Hawaii next year. Imagine getting stocks in the church in the 1600s. I'd be a trillionaire. What's bigger than a trillionaire? What's a gazillionaire? Is that the next one? I think gazillion's one up. That's not true.

And is it then a bazillion? Yeah. No, I think it's bazillion then, gazillion. Bazillion, I think it's million, million, million. So at three times, if you say it's slowly it doesn't count That much You are rich I would like to withdraw a million million dollars

So I can't possibly have heard you correctly how many million million million you heard no I legit am really Need to write a ten on this piece of paper. Also do you seriously think we have that much cash at this bank? Yes. Right, you ask it. The parish disagreed about Salem Village's choice of Samuel Paris as its first ordained minister. So they've had three people come into the town, but now they've got their first ordained minister, Samuel Paris, is up for the job. They offered him money and land, but disagreed as to how much they should give him. And given the fact that the other minister's left

so quickly, he took a while deciding which should take the job, causing even more tension while they waited for his decision. So they're fighting about how much money the guy should get, how much land he should get, and he's sort of bartering back and forth, playing hard to get, and they're all getting really pissed off.

So weird. So weird. When he finally did accept the job, he did not seem able to settle his new parishioners disputes by deliberately seeking out quote, morally wrong behavior in his congregation and making church members in good standings suffer public penance for small infractions, so he was very, very tight and strict even on people that have paid their dues He contributed significantly to the tension within the village. Oh He was a bit of a sterile. Oh, he's a real post-era

He's in there like oh, yeah, it's got a new bit of drama over there gonna poke that with a stick Yeah, what I heard Gary said about you Darrell. What? What is that? He said that you've been touching his shape. What? He said you've been touching his shape. But I made sure that no one was looking. I mean, what? All right, I've accidentally, I was trying to cause drama here, but accidentally uncovered a weird bL-ity crime. Oh my god. Oh please. Look, if I give you a bit of best shape, can we not tell God? I'm listening.

And God's not right now. I've got him on mute. So, you've got a couple minutes now. Let me know. What are you offering me before? I'm gonna, oh my fingers slipping off the mute. Oh no, please, Sam, your parent. What do you got what do you got I'll give you Of a Mentos

All right dear you might even ride me hard, but I'm gonna want to pay that as a deal you better pay up son of boy all right goes back in So I got co-weighting here. It's a devil. Sorry. I'm lying to Two Mentos So I got caught waiting here. It's the devil. Sorry I'm lying too. Two mentors. I don't understand. Does that make sense? That was some solid improv there boys. The character work. The story arch. Oh, it was a gift that kept on giving.

Story arch. Yeah. Well, you was a gift that kept on giving. Story arch. Yep. Oh, you really let us off the hook there. I know. You had us on the canvas. I was about to quit the podcast. The finishing blow. I'm back in.

Your fist was about to mush our faces. You'll pick anything, won't you? Story arch. Yeah, okay. Very sick. I'll leave live alone where I am your favorite biblical story Noah's Ark yes I love no hearts arcs I'm gonna need your help pronouncing your word coming up here. Peri... Peri, Samuel Peris, moved to the village from Arch. No, I thought that as well, but now I'm thinking, maybe is it Barbados?

Is that a... Am I thought that as well, but now I'm looking at thinking maybe is it Barbados? Is that right? Am I saying that right? Baba Doss. Oh thank you. Oh man, I'm such an idiot, I don't know geography at all. Paris moved the village from Baba Doss. Thank God. Woo. That is such a cool, but I really fell off his chair.

And I couldn't let it go. But I did. That's for the arch thing. It was a real soft landing. Baba Doss, he came from Baba Doss. With his wife, three children, and they had two slaves, one called Titsubha, and another one called John the Indian, and they were possibly married the slaves. Okay. Titsubha and John the Indian. People debate as to whether Titsubha, who was a very important part of this story,

was Barbadian or a Native American who had traveled to Bubba Doss with the Paris family and then had now moved back. Okay. But either way, in a very, very horribly conservative society, she stuck out a lot amongst the Puritan society. Prior to 1692, there had been rumors of witchcraft in the village's neighboring Salem Village and the other towns in the area. In Salem Village in February 1692, Reverend Paris's daughter Betty Paris, aged 9, and her cousin Abigail Williams, aged 11, began to have fits described as quote to be on the power of epileptic fits or natural disease to effect. And that was a quote from John Hale, the minister of the nearby town of Beverly. The girls screamed through things around the room, uttered strange sounds,

crawled under furniture, and contorted themselves into peculiar positions. It was almost like they were 9 and 11 year old girls. Almost. Almost like that. But the girls began complaining of being pinched and pricked with pins. A doctor was called and he could find no physical evidence of any ailment. They just sat weed for a bit. You know when you're focused, you sleep? I got pins and needles. Which is the way. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes,

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they're spoken to and now they're yelling out in church. So they're like Tommy's fucking wrong. More girls, including 12 year old and Putnam, Jr. and Elizabeth Hubbard, began exhibiting similar symptoms. Huh. It's always like these girls were bored. And I'm fucking with their parents. Finally getting a bit of attention,

finally being allowed to speak. A very sibbly and neighbor of the Paris family instructed our their slave, John Indian, the husband of Ticchiba, to make a witch cake, which is rye meal and the girl's urine to feed to a dog in order to discover who is bewitching the girls, which according to English folk, white magic, which is the nice kind of magic that they're allowed to do says that you can do. Okay, so hang on. What?

What's the first ingredient? So rhyming also like a flowery type thing. And then you mix it with some piss of the witch girls and then you give it to a dog and then you know who's but how the fuck do you know? But just do I have to. Well the dog shits the name of the witch. You know, our little parchment. Yes.

It just rolls out. It rolls out. Rolls out of its awesome. Perfect parchment for. That makes no sense at all. The dog would shit the name of the... Ha ha ha ha ha. Just if you're not on board with that,

the rest of this stuff is not gonna make much of this. I'm not on board. Oh, it's just... How going to get on board with anything. How do you get it? Well, I reckon it's asked for. Yeah, but like if we're having little tantrums, you think you're going to sit still and weigh in a bucket for you? Not in a bucket in a mixing bowl full of flour. Come on, come on. Don't look at me like that. I haven't seen master chef Not the couple of seasons the really good master chef witchcraft

Master chef piss edition Ironically this witch cake the piss cake is probably the only attempted witchcraft throughout the whole ordeal And I was to get rid of witchcraft That's the only attempt at anyone trying to do witchcraft throughout the whole ordeal and I was to get rid of witchcraft. That's the only attempt at anyone trying to do witchcraft. Oh my god. It didn't work, the dog didn't shit out the name. So pressured by ministers and towns people to say who caused her odd behavior, Elizabeth Paris, the reference daughter, identifies Ticchiba, the family slave.

The girls later accused Sarah Good, the town beggar who had a terrible reputation in the town. She was homeless and was very wrinkly after all. So of course she was a witch. Of course she was. They're all wrinkly. How could they have not seen that before? Look at her wrinkled face.

Fucking witch. Doesn't this have the feeling of people putting suggestions in the kids heads uh who was it who was it was it the was it the wrinkly woman was it the wrinkly woman it was the wrinkly woman wasn't it it was the wrinkly woman wasn't it i reckon i was it was it the wrinkly woman was it the wrinkly woman link to the link to the link to the link to the She has incredible aim for a non-hero. She's destined for bigger and better things. Bigger and better piss balls. No, smaller piss balls. Oh, we press the townsfolk.

Smaller and worse. Yeah, the best balls. Then Sarah Osborne is accused, an old and bed-written woman. Sure. It was the old bedroom. It wasn't it. It wasn't it. The old bedroom woman.

The woman can't get out of bed. It couldn't possibly have died away. It could have been. It wasn't it wasn't it. It was a bad room woman. Oh man, I can't get out of bed. It couldn't possibly have done it. Yeah, it could have been. Yeah, wasn't it. Hey, hey, you can tell us if it is. Peace once. Oh, he bed ridden woman. Don't get out of bed if you're a witch. New it. Yeah, we've got it. We've got it this time, guys. Don't worry about the shit dog. Get rid of it. Don't need him to shit. Get rid of it. Get rid of it don't need him to shit get rid of this get rid of it kill the dog no she has a shit in lots of answers I don't know I get rid of it she's a man it's it's it's solving difficult mass equations with this shit no I've just get a shit on the bed ridden woman she deserves it Sarah Osborne's the bed ridden woman she was previously scorned by the town for

marrying her servant John Osborne my god She and Sarah good both did not attend church, mainly because she was bed ridden. I can't get that man. Yeah, you would say that. And that was the reason they fucking judged her. Oh my god. So Tituba, Sarah Osborne and Sarah good are arrested and they're all very easy targets. No one would stand up for them. One of them is a slave, one of them is wrinkly, and the other one is bedridden. The three worst things you could be. But they are like the three people in the town that no one's going to stand up for.

Yeah. So they're already sort of marginalized by the society. That's awesome. And of course, they're the three people that are, fingers are pointed out. A pre-trial was conducted in the local meeting house to see if there was enough evidence to go through with a proper trial. Magistrates, John Hathorn, which is the character that I played in the Crucible, and John- A Magistrate. That's right. The fucking bad dude. And Jonathan

Kohlwinn presided over the pre-trial, it is decided at this pre-trial that spectral evidence will be allowed. Spectral evidence, I hear you ask, is spectral evidence, Matt's in my head is using fucking witchcraft, get out of my head. Do you want to know about spectral evidence? That we ask. Yeah, it's time a little bit of evidence. Spectral evidence refers to a witness testimony that the accused person's spirit or

Spectral shape appeared to him or her the witness in a dream of At the time the accused person's physical body was at another location So I'm here and I could be bewitching someone at home That's so far so we'll only accept evidence that someone has dreamt only as long as I've dreamt it And that person who they're saying has said something was nowhere near and they can very They can very obviously not prove it. Yeah very obviously not prove it and the other person very easily not. He can allobot. Yeah, I mean, so they can just make it up. I dreamt that Matt was in my house. But I wasn't in your house.

I was clearly in my room. I got a witnesses. Spectral. I was like, we found John standing over a dead body, holding a knife covered in blood. So he was at the scene of the crime, so that rules him out. Really? Only 409.99 people left in this town to go through. John, you're afraid to go, good man. You're a good man. And then when he didn't

speck you'll kill. Good on him, man. And the man we can trust. John, who did it? You can tell us. Give all the weapons in the town to John. Yeah. No one else can be trusted. Get more to John. John is now the mayor He's the captain of the town John. Who do you pick to be the the first witch to burn? He's literally eating someone their neck blood is pouring from his mouth. Oh, guys a good proof that he's not him It was claimed that the witches were appearing to the accused in the form of a specter.

These specters could be a bird or just a person that no one else can see. The specters were accused of biting and hitting the bewitched children, and the most convenient part of all is that no one else can see it. No one can see it. How convenient. So you can say whatever you like and it's just counted as evidence. The three accused were interrogated over several days with the girls that had accused them present, so they're sort of standing on trial.

Each time accused Sarah good denied anything. She was met with screams, convulsions, and fits from the girls who said, good specter was there in the courtroom tormenting them. So the two Sarah series are denied all and the kids are going ah she's got me she got me by the balls don't even have balls I tell good she is. Is that a direct fight? Yes Abigail Williams 1692. She's got me by the balls which I don't have so the girls are clearly in on it or at least have been somehow Made to believe that it's real So they're completely hysterical with it all that is very funny

Well some people say that you know that they're just they're loving the attention some people say that they just fucking the attention, some people say that they're just fucking evil and they want to watch the world burn. Yeah, want to watch the witch burn. Ah, sorry, the witch. So the two serres deny everything. The slave, Tituber, however, confesses straight away, possibly because she could see that no one would believe her and believed confessing as her only chance of survival. She says, you said, understand, the devil

came to me and bit me serve him. She spoke for three days describing in great detail, basically telling them whatever they wanted to hear, it's coming up with this crazy story and there I'm going, mm- thank you it thank you for telling the truth finally Sarah shut the fuck up hmm which which sounds okay like she sounds she's doing it to stay alive however she said she signed her name in the devil's book and when she was asked who else's name was in the book she said there were nine other people the other accused Sarah Good and Sarah Osborne so she points on the points them. So you could she saved your own skin But your body getting really there and she said there were six or seven other names. Those six other names. She couldn't read

Uh-oh that means there's six other people to watch out for in the town Oh my god and at this point everyone got paranoid Huh In March others were accused of witchcraft by the girls. Martha Corey, child Dorothy Good, daughter of Sarah Good, Rebecca Nurse. Martha Corey had expressed skepticism about the credibility of the girls' accusations and thus drawn attention to herself. She sees like, what if they're making it up and they're like, she's a witch.

So now she's arrested witch She's a rest who So the what is goodie mean again good wife good wife? So there's a good family says they're a goodie good. Yes, goodie good. That's so good Oh That wasn't but the other thing was goodie good goodie good The charges against her and Rebecca nurse especially deeply troubled the community because Martha Cory the one who's just spoken out was a full Covenanted member of the church in Salem village as was Rebecca nurse In Salem town. So if such upstanding people could be witches the townspeople thought that anybody could be a witch and Church membership was no longer a Protection from accusation so originally it was like she doesn't go to church so she's

a witch but now it's people that have been to church every fucking day of their lives they could be witches. Oh. Also, what's the difference between a village and a town? What's the criteria? Well the town's much bigger. Village has only got about 500 people. The town could have a few thousand.

So it's size. Population. 500 sills, like that's quite a few people. Yeah it's not small. I mean for they've just it's bigger than Skidmore that we talked about the other way. Recently. Yeah just ask it. Just wondering. Dorothy Good, the daughter of Sarah Good, who was accused, was only four years old. Good, good. What? She was not exempted from questioning by the magistrates. Her answers were construed as a confession that implicated her mother. She had to have custom chains made that were small enough to fit her four-year-old arms.

Oh, my God. They looked up a four-year-old. Yes, four-year-old. They questioned a four-year-old. Have you tried to have a conversation with a toddler? Oh, it's bad. It's bad. And the kid probably can first just to be with their mother in prison.

Her older sisters were also arrested. Oh my god. Like, and any point did they go, all right, these witches, they'll obviously be held by our weird primitive handcuffs. But they have thought, I reckon these guys have probably got, if they're real witches, surely they're gonna fuck everything up.

What do they think witches do? So put them all together. Just quietly sit and wait to be- No, just kill- Just sort of stab people with a pin every now and then. That's such a weird idea of what a witch would be. Oh, no, no, no, they're sort of tickling you in the night. I would just look in for a bit of bloody drama, Rikin. It's a bit of fun. It was the original punked. Yeah. With Aston Kutcher. Yeah. Punked with good news. Which Aston the witch original witch with Aston Kutcher

Hi, I'm absolutely good. And I'm the original witch witched Rebecca nurse was in her 70s and deaf and according to most an upstanding citizen Her supporters were the wealthy liberal east side of the village Accuses however with the west side poorer farmers of lower status 39 people signed a petition stating her good moral character. This is always a risk for people signing their own names because anyone who spoke out against the proceedings immediately could become a son of a bitch. So, on your name there, it's what a witch would do, man. Oh, shit. Within a week, Giles C Corey, who's Martha's husband, and a Covenant to Church member in Salem

town, Abigail Hobbs Bishop Mary Warren is a servant in the Proctor household, and Deliverance Hobbs Deliverance. What a name. That's the name? Deliverance Hobbs. Wow. They were all arresting and examined. Abigail Hobbs, Mary Warren and Deliverance Hobbs. Wow. They were all arrested and examined.

Abigail Hobbs, Mary Warren and Deliverance Hobbs, all confessed and began naming additional people as accomplices. So more arrests followed. So, in defense of those people, I guess that they thought that if they confessed and started accusing other people, they were less likely to be executed. Sure, but then implicating other people that could get executed.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is going to become a bit of a witch hunt. It definitely is. Warren's way should for 36 more people with examinations continuing to take place in Salem Village. It's not going to be anybody left in this village. Just the dudes. The dude in, uh, well, in April, not going to be anybody left in this village. Just the dudes. The dudes.

And while in April, several girls accused former sailor minister George Boros of witchcraft and he was held for trial. So he's a former minister that used to be the top of the church in the town. So at this point, anyone could be accused. Far out. So he used to be just sort of the lower status people in society. The marginalized types and now everyone's getting the finger pointed. Everyone's getting finger.

Oh man, we're gonna talk about the finger. This whole town is finger. This whole town is finger. No one's safe from the finger. No one's safe from God's finger. That's hot. No, Jess is shaking her head like she's a witch. Damn it.

I don't know if I've mentioned this or not before, but I am left handed. The devil's hand. And you do have horns. I do have horns. Left handed horns. Oh. My horns are left handed.

That's a great bumper sticker. My horns are left handed. Put on the back of your car. And, uh. I don't get it. Uh, where bumpers tickers go? That's a great bumpers ticker. No, I've sent it all.

My devil horns are left handed. I reckon people would love those words. Toad in if you want a bumpers ticker that says my other devil... No, I think you have my other car's millennium Falcon which is coming book guy on the Simpson No, if you tweet in if you would like other horns are left handed like comic book guy on the Simpson's It's quite becoming quite a big bumpers if you want it. I'll make it Tweet in wait is that the bumper sticking out? You need a beautiful stuff on this.

I don't know where this is. And unquote, now. Read it back to me. Wait, even what Matt and I were saying is that Jesus. An official trial was held in Salem Town in June 1692 with William Strouton, the new Lieutenant Governor, so a very top dog in the state as chief manager. Did he shit results? The vet all shit results Get your shit on my desk this time tomorrow lieutenant Colonel or whatever the fuck you are

You top dog the results are in And I'm afraid of a just shut a big J for guilty No, it's a J for good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm afraid not my interpretation of the shit That is a guilty shit of the other thing. All in all there were seven judges and twelve jurors deciding the shitty fate of the accused. I'm sorry for enjoying your life. I'm sorry for enjoying your life. I'm sorry for enjoying your life. I'm sorry for of enjoying your... You're a lot of...

So about that. Please make that one into an animation. No, don't at all. I don't want to see you doing it. So he's squatting on a desk and shitting a G. And with Jess's laugh for a minute or two. Look at that. Oh, my face hurts.

That's the sign. No. So all in all, seven judges, 12 jurors decided the fate of all these people accused. Bridget Bishop's case was the first brought to the grand jury who endorsed all the indictments against her. So the pretrial has been a success. Everything that anyone said definitely happened. Oh shit. Bishop was described as not living a puritan lifestyle because

she wore black clothing and odd costumes. Gough, which was against the Puritan code. The anti-goth code. Maybe she was just a little chunky and she knew the black was slimming me Also, it's a you know, we're just a fashion. That's nice color. Dave you're wearing black right now. Oh God so am I so yeah, I'm wearing black on my legs When she was a Trinity That's why just got three freckles One for each of us. When Bishop was examined, she was asked about her coat, which had been awkwardly cut or torn in two ways.

It's one of the devil. This, along with a moral lifestyle, affirmed that she was a witch. She went to trial the same day when she was convicted, she was executed by hanging on June the 10th. And that proved that she was innocent? No, no, guilty. Guilty. The hanging, so witches can be hanged.

Yes. Right. The can be. And bad tailoring is the work of the devil. Yep. Interesting. And I stand by that. Always look your best.

You never know what people are going to say. People are going to choose you. Well, you don't look very good. Have you been visited by the devil, sort of, speak? So does me. You've fallen on hard times. I'm falling on the devil's horns. My other devil's, I'm tempted.

Immediately following this execution, the court adjourned for 20 days. So it could sort at seek advice from New England's most influential ministers. So they've backed off a little bit. They've killed one and gone around. Okay, we need to have a chat. When the court's resumed, so maybe they're starting to just, you know, see a have a chat. When the courts resume, so maybe they're starting

to, you know, see a bit of sense. When the court resumes, spectral evidence and other hearsay gathered during pre-trial was accepted as fact by the judges. Fantastic, great. So they've gone away for 20 days, thought about and said, yep, everything that people have said. Fact. Thank God. Fantastic, great. Justice is served. Well, it was getting wired that we're going to get a bit silly there. Yeah. Thank goodness. At this point, the young girls accusing everyone are still in court, still reacting to the testimony and evidence. The girls would mirror the accused whatever they did. The girls did the same. So if someone moved their hands

or moved their face to one side, they'd all mirror that in university. What do they do with it? Like they were being controlled by the person on the stand. Oh my god. What a weird way to control they were being controlled by the person on the stand. Oh my god. What a weird way to control them. Like if you're a witch, surely you'd use your powers for more than making a small child mirror you. Yeah, making a small child yell, I'm not a witch.

I'm not a witch proof that they are a witch. So weird. Why are those kids doing that? And why doesn't anyone think, like it doesn't make any sense that those kids just because they were the original ones to be weird, surely they'd be the ones that you'd think of the witches.

Yeah. Instead, they've got all the power. Yeah, I think these kids are really enjoying that someone's finally listening to them. Sarah Good, Elizabeth Howe, Susanna, Martin, Sarah Wilds, and Rebecca Nosts went to trial at the same time and they were found guilty, all five women executed by hanging July 19th.

I didn't realize there was so much death in this thing. I assumed that they'd figured it out and everyone went off and played croquet or something. They should have consulted the world's greatest detective, Tokyo Pauro. Oh, what a Pauro of Sun. What do you have Sun? What would a P paro of son? What would a paro of son? Yeah, but I said arch and it's the end of the fucking world. Well, look, that was your opportunity to have one back and you didn't take it.

Now, this is in a missable evidence in the trial. In a missable? You both have extreme command of English language. Thank you. We are wordsmiths Sarah good cursed judged Nicholas noise as she was led to her death Bring the noise as he's catchphrase Just the court room bring the noise hammer hammer boom and everyone's like mate. You are which yeah, no

He's gonna smoke me she's a big dude's carry him into the... Then I slam my gavel down. Bring the noise. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Serial shaman. Yeah. Serial good curse this the shaman, as she was led to her death saying quote,

I am no more a witch than you are a wizard. If you take away my life, God will give you blood to drink. 25 years later, this may have come true. When noise lay dying on his deathbed apparently, he chokes to death on his own blood. Christ! Bring the noise! WTF?

Wait. Sorry mate, what was that? WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? Wait, sorry mate, what was that? I got blind, blind, blind, I got blind, I'm a f***. Can't understand you mate. So what did they say ahead of time? They said God will give you blood to drink if you execute me for being a witch because I'm not a witch.

Okay, but... You're not really drinking if he's choking. Yeah, no, it's a plot the same as that. It's not the same as I would, but I'm a pro-bittessant. If she said... Yeah, pro-bittessants like, I want to drink the shit out of that plot. Yeah, no, it's a point the same as old mate If she said if she said yeah, probably this is like I want to drink the shit out of that What God's gonna do right he's gonna wait 20 years Yeah, and then for 25 years and then you'll see there'll be something blood related Yeah, I believe that I believe that's all connected

I mean if you believe that bit you have to believe all of it Yeah, that is it's so Try baking that noise it's fun You're gonna have to speak up judge. I'm afraid All right boom box box. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr was the main character in the crucible. Elizabeth was given a temporary stay of execution because she was pregnant. She said, surely that would be the devil's child. But they'll let her have the baby. They're not all evil. Is that really blue? They're going to let the baby at orphan. The baby, if what they believe is true, surely that baby is also a devil baby.

Yeah. Fine, Matt, if you want me to, I can get rid of the devil baby too. If that will make you happy. That won't make me happy. I'm just trying to follow their logic. It's very difficult. When Reverend George Burrow, as the I just mentioned was hanged, the man he used to be a Salem's town minister, so he used to be the top of the church in the town, and now he's being executed for being a witch. He stood on the gallows, very bravely, didn't move a muscle, and before his death recited the Lord's Prayer Perfectly, witches were supposedly unable to say the prayer properly. So he stood up there, says it word perfect. Which shouldn't be that surprising from a minister.

No, but because he said that and which is aren't, this aren't supposed to be able to get the words out because it's God's words. Possibly seeds of doubt start creeping into some of the townspeople's mind. How are you fucking saying, but they still hanged him. Sure. Surely everyone would be saying that the town's people's minds. I don't know how he fucking said, but they still hanged him. Surely everyone would be saying that. The Lord's Prayer. Trying to get off, but didn't get him off. I have father who I didn't have, and hello, be thy name. Is that Lord's Prayer?

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. I'm thinking of a weird tune. I don't know if there's a song about it, that was it, wasn't it? No, it was ten. It wasuce. It's probably like a million. I'm taking it for a walk now. Yeah. You're the James of Creative Glass and so that one, two, three, hit it. Bring the noise. Bring the noise. Start clicking. That's how I'm bringing it all. So a possible set of doubt planted, but not enough for a seed to win everyone over. Because in September, grand juries

indicted 18 more people. What the fuck? A big problem was that many of the people confessed in the town's minds, making it likely that others were witches. 55 of the 200 accused confessed, probably not because they were witches. But now, probably not because they were witches, but probably not because they thought they were witches, I should say. But that was the only sure way to survive the trial, because in the Puritan society, a confession put a person in the hands of God who was the only person who cleansed and forgives their sins.

So if you confessed confessed you weren't executed Because then you prayed and then you would no longer in a witch. Oh, oh So yeah, that seems like the way to go. Yeah. Yeah, so a lot more people are but others were being too principled about it So that's the big The final scene in the crucible is John Proctor is about to confess his name Spoiler alert. Hey, fuck man. Thanks. I was gonna read that. You I thought you already read it. Yeah, I didn't pay attention to it. I was John Proctor

I don't remember that bit was that a key part? That was the scene. Oh, yeah, that's why I was the only thing. Did you get hanged Dave? I Wasn't John Proctor. I was judge having a hanged John Brockton. Good. Thank you. You do. Critically claimed performance. Sure.

Critically is in your mum? Uh, yes. Very enough. She's pretty critical. Mum, come on, just love me. Come on, I did my best. I hanged John Brockton. Is that not enough?

I killed a man. He didn't do anything! Mom! Eight more people were hanged on September 22nd. Nineteen so-called witches were hanged in total. Wow! They were over five... See that annoys me. One more!

Do one more! Final Elizabeth Proctor, thank you! Thank you! Oh no! Over five occasions, so it was mass hanging, but on average, a little less than four. Great. They were all hanged, as English law had forbidden burning witches at the state for 150 years at this point. So a lot of people don't think about Salem witch trials. They mistakenly think that people were burned, but none of them were.

They were all hanged, because they weren't allowed to burn them. Four others died in prison whilst awaiting trial, and one man, an extraordinarily bad-ass man, 81 years old. A farmer named Giles Corry suffered a different fate. He refused to enter a plea of either innocent or guilty, knowing that the court couldn't proceed with the trial without a plea. So in order to get a plea out of him, large stones were placed on his chest in order to press the truth out of him. So they put a board on top of him, they put a heavy rock on top and they said, are you guilty or are you innocent? Cory stays silent.

So over two days, they put more and more rocks on the board, each time asking him, are you innocent or are you guilty? Each time he refuses to plead, and instead says, more wait. Wow. That's what a witch would say. And after two days, he was eventually crushed and died. But since Cory refused to plead, he died in full possession of his estate, which otherwise would have been forfeited to the government, and he was able to will his possession and land to his sons. Oh wow. So that's probably what he's thinking.

She is. What a fact. Two days. So if he said he was innocent or guilty, he would have lost it all. Yeah. Wow. Once the witches are executed, the government takes their land. And then they sell it at auction and your neighbors can buy it, which is another reason why if someone across the road, that's a pretty sweet land, you accuse them of being a witch. They get executed and then you get a fucking bargain by buying this. That witch has a great view, it's a witchy view.

That witch has a great view, would mind it. If I was me and they were putting rocks on me right, like stacking them up, I would be lying down and just going like this. That just pushed the rock off. Just one shot. They kind of put the rocks back. And that's what he didn't think of. Should have just pushed them up. Just one shot. They got a put the rocks back. Put it back. That's what he didn't think of.

Should have just pushed him off. You should have just walked out a prison, a free man. Yeah. What an idiot. I would have just shimmyed him. Yeah, you got it. That's what a witch would have done. You lived to shimmy. I lived to shimmy.

In that case, you'd shimmy to live wood that is true I don't think anything ever as true as that has ever been said before ever since I said ever since you regretted that and showed it with your face yeah so after these exec, the girls' accusations became so ridiculous that the authorities began to question them. Oh, finally. But, you know how ridiculous they were? They started to accuse people from the upper classes. They started to accuse men from the upper classes.

Can you believe it? That's ridiculous. Ridiculous. And there was also a rumor that the governor, GovernorIP his wife was about to be accused and that was just too far Come on the governor's wife couldn't be aware that's ridiculous the governor's wife Don't be ridiculous so FIP stepped in a shut down the local call Don't be fip dickulous Your bloody FIP in yourself, mate

FIP shut down the local court and Move the new cases to a much higher court and the spectral evidence God of you great witchy view And at this higher court And at this higher court Spectral evidence that had previously tarnished everyone accused was no longer allowed Okay, so that's that's a big difference Spectral evidence that had previously tarnished everyone accused was no longer allowed. Okay. So that's a big difference.

You can no longer just say that people are like tickling you in the night. It was a bird, but it wasn't a bird. I know it was teacher bird. But it was a bird, but it was teacher bird bird for. But it was also goody Gary and he was doing it from his penthouse suite and he also said it's more on now. You know, I have the spa. Fips shut down this local court and 49 of the 52 accused when they were moved to the higher court were released from prison.

Three remained but Fips wrote a pardon for them, sparing them execution. So the trials and executions were finally put to an end in April. Titsuber was sold back into slavery to pay for her expenses. Great, I know, terrible. For five years later, the community began to acknowledge their huge mistake and held a day of fasting to ask God for forgiveness. I think that should cover it. That should be a day of fasting. Square.

What was it? 19 killed? No, 23. 23. But the whole town's doing a day of fasting. The whole town. Yeah, that equals 23 murders. Yeah, that's not a thing.

Goodness. What was your love breakfast, but? Yeah, I think you know breakfast and dinner, but we'll have, and probably like an early lunch, but between early lunch and lunch. A light lunch. Out of respect. Out of respect for the dead. And I think, yeah, I reckon that covers it.

It probably actually gives us a little bit up our sleeve in case we kill a couple more. Yeah. I reckon we're ahead now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're fast all the way. We can't just we kill a few more. So we have a 730 dinner. Well, I would push it back.

It's 730. I reckon we could kill a couple more. Yeah. Kill a couple more. Or we could kill a couple more. Like, goodie fuckface. Look at a meal funny. Goodie fuck, look at that.

Hey, look at her. That's the devil's eyes. Get the nose. Her name should have been a good bit of a giveaway. Could he fuck those? What are we game of the benefit? Good people. Good people here.

Good hungry people. Simple people going about our business, executing our neighbors, getting their land listen to nine year old girls reasonable people reasonable people could happen to anyone could happen it could happen to you Judge Samuel Soule and 12 jurors that are convicted and said everyone and sent everyone to death Signed a petition which was seen as some sort of public apology and an acknowledgement that what they did was wrong. Yeah, that's nice.

John Hale wrote a book that included an apology in 1702, so 10 years later. And Putnam Jr., who was one of the girls accusing everyone when she was a bit older, at age 26, she told the church that the devil made her accuse the innocent people. She was the only accuser to ever vaguely apologize. Okay, I don't know if that's an appol- yeah right? Sure, kind of.

Good on you. I mean you're putting the- still putting the hard word on someone else, the devil. Yeah. He's sitting in the corner going, whoa, whoa, come on. Oh hey. What do I do? Oh, je- oh, je- look, I'm just sitting over here on the sidelines. You're being made into this? Oh, no. That's not on. Oh, there you go. In 1711, the Commonwealth of- Seven, I'll live, seven or eleven.

In 1711, the year that 7-Eleven was, of course, founders. But a small-the-footnote of history of that year was the Commonwealth of Massachusetts Reverse the decision on 22 of the 31 people found guilty of witchcraft Exonerating them and reinstating their rights which were now useless as many of them were executed. Oh my god But the other nine they're like obviously they're still guilty The remaining nine people did not have their conviction overturned until 1950-07. Holy shit! Oh good give them back their rights. Yeah but don't worry they got their rights back fully fully reinstated their rights. Just after color TV came in. Oh my god. We always said it if we can make the pictures

coloring or give them their rights. Colour. I'm not color black on TV. Sorry 56 was TV in Australia Yes, the Olympics 77 color TV. I'm sorry Don't ever light Deadl made me do it. Oh, that's right them. Thank you for that apology The devil's in the car. Oh come on That too.

I get tired with everything. You kill a couple of urgins and then you get blame for everything. He's in the corner of the room killing birds, but oh, what now? Here we go. TV? Oh, that's amazing. Oh, Jesus Christ. The devil's amazing. Jesus Christ. The devil's box. The state paid 600 pounds to the survivors as restitution.

That's nice. Several years later. The 300th anniversary of the trials was marked in 1992 in Salem by a variety of events. A memorial park was dedicated in Salem, which included stone slab benches inserted in the stone wall of the park For each of those executed in 1692 So they all got a bench. That's nice. It's never barbecue over there. He can bloody sit on a Which got that you which sit on the which for a dollar. They all got a bitch

Imagine as they're going to as they're about to be hanged they just wish from there Don't worry 300 years. You will get a bench. You'll you'll be a bench. No worries. Lookin' for that's the real after life I would have remembered in bench form Remember Sarah good she's back One day fucking just be sturdy, that's all. I just want people to be able to put a bit of weight on me. Not enough people sat on me in life, it's my one regret, but I think I'll make up for it.

Really will. Why'd you go there when we go to America and have two of us? I don't want to go to say a little bit of love to sit on the bench. I'll sit on every single one. I'm just gonna take a picture of you on every one of them. Just to be fair, because if I don't sit on one of them, they'll be accused of being a bloody witch, for which bench. I November 2001, a few years after the 300th anniversary

of the trials, the Massachusetts legislature passed an act exonerating all who had been convicted and naming each of them innocent. Oh, that's not so 2001 300 years later. That's in our lifetime. November 2001 It only took the events of 9-11 people to realize hang on. I think we fucked up Hang on hang on we've got some apologizes. Is there a correlation here? Oh, Jesus no Salem witch trials had a big influence

on American society changing the court procedure to include innocent till proven guilty. Because they looked at that and thought, hang on, these people did not have a fair trial. Because last time I was pretty much guilty until guilty. Yeah, guilty guilty. Guilty until you admit you did it, until you admit you guilty. So that is the story of Selen Wittraels. I've already mentioned the Crucible a bit here.

An incredible play written by Arthur Miller in the 1950s during the time of the McCarthy Trials, which in a way was a witch hunt accusing people of communism. So that's what he was trying to say there. He changed a few things. The main character, John Proctor, he lowered his age from 62, he's mid 30s, and he raises the age of the main accuser Abigail Williams from 11 to 17 so they can have an affair. Right. So it's just sort of just a plot point, but it is a great, great play and I do recommend checking out the cruise ship. Dave's version of the cruise ship.

That's right, I will be uploading the DVD that we filmed of, I wish I had a copy of that. Maybe I'll try. I'll try, there will be some photos of me playing Judge John Hathorn. Excellent, excellent. I will be uploading that. Maybe I'll try. There will be some photos of me playing Judge John Hathorn. Excellent. Excellent. I will be uploading that. That was a great report, Dad. Thank you so much. It was a bit of an epic story there, but a fascinating one. Yeah, I did actually, I didn't, I knew it parts of it, but I, yeah, there's a

lot of gaps there. So that was really cool. Well, the gaps in the knowledge is a sign of the which oh my goodness Now you're all right. Thank you innocent till proven guilty Really change because witchcraft really came in a vogue after you know the Back off of the 20th century be witched Sabrina and August focus The craft the craft

What does the finger charmed charmed big time? Buffy Helen the Buffy Alex Mack she can turn in a water GC 161 The chemical spilled on her oh nice good memory. Hannah Montana. Yep. She had her voice was bloody out of this voice. Oh, witching. Oh, you can't put on the theme song without going on though. Something's happening to me. Yeah.

We'd like to say a big special thank you to everyone that supports us over on Patreon. Your pledges, your subscriptions each month, keep the show rolling. so we do appreciate that. Patreon.com slash do go on pod. I mean, like to specifically name some names now and thank three absolute legends. You name names.

It's classic song field. Quite. Oh my god. Now Matt. You blacklisted, you name names. Now Matt, you are. And Matt. You blacklisted. You named names. Okay. Now Matt, you are and. Matt. Oh, sorry. Matt, of course you've got someone you'd like to think?

Yes, I do. Oh, great. Thanks. Much of the opportunity again. It's really nice how you give me this platform every week and I appreciate that a lot. And I'd love to use it in this instance to take the chance. I'd like to use it to take the chance to think one of my favorite listeners at the moment Rosemary Lynch from Liverpool From where sorry from Liverpool? Nope. Liverpool. No, sorry

So we like plink up long complete come the guitar right, and then we're saying lay down a track and what to get Rosemary Lynch from Liverpool. There we go. But it was much better. It was better. Sorry Rosemary. Rosemary Lynch. I mean, it sounds like the opposite of a witch to me.

Well, in some ways, but we were talking about a devil baby today. Maybe Rosemary's baby. Here's the devil's baby. Yeah, I mean, it was in the movie Rose Marys Baby. Yeah. So there's that. It really makes you think. I would also like to take someone if I may.

If that's okay by you. I'd love you too. You know how the young cool kids, like this slaying is like, I rate it. You know, you rate something, like I rate it. Yeah, I know you get the cool Lingo right? You know I rate who do you write I really rate from New York State? Rosemary Lynch. Yes, and Kevin right. Oh Kevin right Kevin right from New York. I rate it. I rate him. I rate Kevin Kevin right from New York State

It's never late to the debate. Bring a dinner plate, because he's seven up, the great meal. And he is one of our very good friends. You're a great guy, you are a great guy, Kevin, right? I'd also like to thank someone, all the way from Philadelphia. Phil. Born and raised? It is not Will Smith, but it is

Reginald Lodovika Regie I like to think that his theme song is L'ivina vila Lodovika She bangs, she bangs, does a different song? Yeah, she moves Yeah, that one she bangs, that one is living

Reginald Yeah, she moves. Yeah, that one she bangs. How the one is living a regional. He clearly don't have the Ricky Mountain mega mix. Ricky Mountain? Ricky Mountain. I've climbed many Ricky mountains in my entire time. And I know this feels just like another one. I'm top of the pop chart now. We're living La Vida, Reginald.

La Vica. There we go. Thank you so much, Reginald La Vica. Thank youvitah Reginald. A lot of Vika. There we go. Thank you so much, Reginald Lotovika. Thank you so much. He bangs. He bangs. Rose Reled.

And your baby, Rosemary. Yes, and to Kevin's friends. You are all such cool people. And if you too would like to be part of the Patreon Club and support the show and make it even better every single week, please head over to patreon.com. So let's do go on pod. Well, we are closing in on the needle that will be piercing either match to it

or Jess Perkins skin once we reach that $2,000 total. Let's make it Jess's. She wants it more than me. You don't want it anymore, Matt? No, I want it. I definitely do, but I think Jess really wants it. I really want it. She really wants that. My friend, we're gonna, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a wants it. I really want it. She really wants that.

My friend, it's not up to you. It's up to us. It's up to the pet wrong. We'll be able to get to vote for who gets a tattoo. And we'll be filming it. We will be... Oh, we got to film it all right. Oh, yeah.

We'll be Instagramming it. And we'll be showing Matt's regret face as he inevitably looks down at his, I imagine, foot. And sees the tattoo that you voted for. He's going to get... And won't be showing Matt's regret face as he inevitably looks down at his I imagine foot and sees the tattoo that you voted for Won't be on my foot. Where do you get it? But I think I'll be on my leg. No, you butt. It will not be on my butt Disappointing will it be on your upper leg your butt? Really upper leg like really upper back of leg. No, huh? We'll be on your incredibly lower back back of leg. No. Huh. A little bit on your incredibly lower back. Like so low. What on my lower back here? Keep going. Keep going.

The fleshy bit. Do you mean your bum? No. No, I'm a lower back. Don't be disgusting. That's heresy. Burn her. I didn't come here for such crudeness. Sir. The face? One walking out. Will it be on your face? Yeah, will you get on your face? Under the boat?

My upper butt. Your upper upper fan butt. This is good stuff. Alright, it's good stuff. But please, uh, to support the show, if you can, and you can get in contact at any time, all the links are in the description of this video but if you want to video

this podcast some people will be listening on YouTube that's right we are the YouTube channel is going well Matt is slowly uploading one episode every day we're doing well youtube.com slash do go on pod oh and should we also can we just mention as well we got a minute we got a minute but this was probably a little while ago now. Yeah, but the coolest thing that happened, I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

The DooGo onamations, that a good friend John, now a good friend, because he's done such amazing work. Thank you John, has uploaded to YouTube and made his own YouTube channel called DooGo onamations where he started animating little scenes from the audio from our podcast. Imagine if he animates this bit where you're talking about him. John, I'm so cool, I'm flying, I'm flying! John! Get down, Dave, I'm grabbing on your leg,

and I'm also holding a big can of macaroni cheese in my dick. What? Quick. What? macaroni cheese in my dick. Quick! Shave Jess's head! Oh! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo But please check him out because we think they are so it's so incredible. Yeah, awesome. If you go to our YouTube channel, we are subscribed to them. So if you go through our subscriptions or you just type in do-go, on-a-mations. You'll find them.

Yeah, awesome. Oh, so, so cool. We hope that he keeps bringing them out because of the best. But that is it from us for this week. Get your topic suggestions in at do-go on pod on Instagram, on YouTube now, on Facebook, on Twitter, and doogaonpod.gmail.com. We want to hear from you. But until next week, we will say...

Please write us on Instagram. 5,000 Instagram or nothing, baby. I'm so bring up. And it is not pretty. Now do keep us a rating on our sins if you can. That does help us out a lot. But until next week, we will say thank you and goodbye. Later.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts.

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