Do Go On - Do Go On Presents: Arty Facts - 'Portrait of a Lady'

Episode Date: July 30, 2022

Mary Beale was a 17th-century trailblazing painter and her piece 'Portrait of a Lady' currently hangs at the National Gallery of Victoria. But who is the Lady? What the heck is a cartouche? And what's... Mary Beale's whole deal? Dave Warneke explains in this episode of 'Do Go On Presents: Arty Facts'.'Do Go On Presents: Arty Facts' is a joint production from Stupid Old Studios and the Do Go On podcast.Watch this episode and others in the series here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqtTGRMtAdRRnytOX07sHDeThis production was made possible with support from the Community Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more at http://cbf.org.au Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.
Starting point is 00:00:17 Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. You're listening to Artifacts, a show that dives into the fascinating history of famous artworks and painters. Broadcast on C-31, Stupid Old Studios YouTube channel and the Community Radio Network.
Starting point is 00:00:44 For centuries, art in Europe was dominated by men. At a time where women were banned from many professions, they certainly weren't expected to open an art studio and paint for a living. That is, except for one 17th century woman who threw convention to the wind, Her name, Mary Beale. Hello and welcome to Artifacts. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. And today we are at the oldest and most visited gallery in Australia, the National Gallery of Victoria, as I like to call it, the NGV.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Ooh, love that. That should catch on. That's one of mine. Yeah, I like that. NGV. That sounds fun. I don't know what it stands for. Out of the 76,000 plus works here in their collection, we are in front of Portrait of a Lady by English. painter Mary Beale. What do you think? I love it. I love a centre part. I think that's a
Starting point is 00:01:44 fantastic, that's a strong look. That's come back too. Yeah, yeah. And she's got quite a glowy look in her face too that's also very in at the moment. Very dewy finish in your make up very in. You've got a centre part and the dewy finish. I don't have a centre part or a dewy finish. I don't think you understand either of those things. Well straight off the bat, I love the title because it says what it is. It's not of this abstract stuff we have to sort of squint at and work out what they're trying to say. That is, in no doubt, a portrait of a lady. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Like, fight me on it. You can't. It's a portrait of a lady. Yeah, we'll try and fact check that. The artist Mary Beale was born Mary Craddick in March 1633. What's she hiding from? She's got many aliases. Many.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Interesting. Her father, John, was a clergyman in Suffolk. It may have been the one who taught her how to paint, as he himself was an amateur painter. Anyone may have been Dave, we're still in facts, please. It's in the title of the show. It's not that much known about her early lives. But we do know that the Craddock family had made their fortune from selling wool. So that's quite specific.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Happy with that? When she was young, she met and later had a close relationship with Sir Peter Lely, a Dutch portrait master who painted King Charles I first, and later was principal painted to King Charles II. Wow. Lely, I hardly know Lee. Whatever. We'll edit some stuff out, I should.
Starting point is 00:03:04 You got to shoot your shots up though. Yeah, I'm taking too many at the moment. It's sort of coffee you'll do. It makes me feel like I have something worth sharing. So she's surrounded by artists, many of whom are of extreme renowned. And these were turbulent times in old Blight. Let me tell you. In 1642, England erupted in civil war. And King Charles I was arrested, tried and executed for high treason.
Starting point is 00:03:29 January 1649. Wait, say that again. What happened? The King of England, King Charles of England, King Charles first was arrested, tried and executed for treason. How are we not hearing about that until now? When did that happen? Breaking news. 1649, exactly.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Okay, yeah, geez, sorry. Late to the party on this one. Have you not been on Twitter today? No. No. The monarchy was abolished and the Commonwealth of England was established as a republic. You remember this?
Starting point is 00:03:53 Eventually a controversial figure, Oliver Cromwell, emerged as Lord Protector of England, regarded by many as a bit of a dictator. Oh. Emphasis on the dick there. He passed the title of Lord Protector onto his son, Richard Cromwell, who was nicknamed Tumble Down Dick after he struggled to hang on to power. Okay. That's a bit of a slap in the face.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Lord Protector. I think I like that job title, but did he give it to himself? Did he make that up? Those kind of nicknames never stick, do they, when you give them to yourself? Isn't that right, Cobra? Yes, Cobra is good. Just don't call me Tumbled Down Dick. Well, that's much more likely to stick, Tumbledown.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Hang on to power of all costs. TD. But eventually in 1660, King Charles I, conveniently named Charles II, regained the throne and restored the kingdoms of England, Scotland and Ireland. So this was all in the first 27 years of Mary's life. It seemed one of the only consistencies around the court was portraiture. Her friend Peter Lely was talented enough that he managed to paint for all three of these leaders. Charles I first, then Oliver Cromwell, and then Charles the second.
Starting point is 00:05:00 So that's one of the only consistent things. Art is forever. I agree. You know what I mean? Because some things are fleeting, but art. That's forever. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:05:15 I don't think he gets it. No, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gather that. It's okay if you don't. Continue, please, Dave. Marrying herself practiced with self-portraits and painted small copies of Lely's works,
Starting point is 00:05:28 whose style was a big influence. And not much else is known about her early life, but in 1652 we do know she married Charles Beale. Ah, that's where the Beale comes from. Okay. As I was wandering. No relation. It was also an amateur painter,
Starting point is 00:05:43 so there's a lot of paintings in her life. Together the couple had two children, Bartholomew and Charles Jr. During the kids' childhoods in 1665, the family moved to Hampshire, narrowly avoiding the play. So they lived away from London for five years with Mary perfecting her craft. And on their return in 1670, they moved to Palman. where Mary started advertising herself.
Starting point is 00:06:05 They're on the board. Professional painter, that's right. Purple square? I think. Palma. I would have said blue. It's got a yellow feel to me. Ooh, okay.
Starting point is 00:06:15 It's a near Leicester Square. Pelmel, Northumberland Avenue and... They're purple. I don't recall purple. Yeah, there's purple. I don't think I've made it one circuit around the board. Oh, for flipping it. Maud! This sucks.
Starting point is 00:06:30 They promise so much with the... the little horsey, but then it's all downhill from there. I'm a useless thimble. Well, to find out more about Mary Beale and this piece, I'm here with NGV curator of international art, Laurie Benson. Hello, Laurie. Hi, Dave, how are you? Very well, thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Now, I thought we'd start with Mary Beale herself. She's probably the first real professional female British artists working in the 18th century. There were a handful of women working around that time, but she broke so many barriers. And it was tough then to be a woman artist. Women weren't really examined, they weren't really looked at. And our painting is a perfect example of that,
Starting point is 00:07:06 because she had this association with the great Peter Lely, who's the principal portrait painter in Stuart England. This painting, because it was so good, it couldn't possibly have been by a woman. So it was actually attributed to the studio of Peter Lely. Now that, because of this, all this research and resurgence and interest in women artists since the 70s, but particularly in the last five to 10 years,
Starting point is 00:07:29 that's now been redressed. and I think thankfully she is quite an incredible character. She started advertising herself as a professional painter. This was very unusual at the time for the conservative and predominantly Protestant society. Women were generally believed to be morally, spiritually and intellectually inferior. Wow. The big three.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Some of us continue to prove that today. Well, they didn't work many jobs, and they certainly didn't run painting studios. I was just thinking as well, because she started to just say she's professional. Yep. And really, isn't that how anybody goes from being amateur to professional? You just start saying you're professional. Take it until you make it.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Exactly. So I respect that. Dressed for the job you want. Was she wearing overalls? Yeah. She covered in paint? Yeah. Paint covered overall? She has a ponytail and glasses. You look legit. Bare feet. Can't wait until later in the movie when she takes them off and we realize how hot she is. But she actually became the breadwinner for the family.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Or like a duck. She's actually commonly referred to as the first English woman to support her family from her paintings. Wow. Well, she was the first. It's a little bit of debate, but she's certainly a trailblazer. And her family supported her in turn, the studio becoming a fully fledged family affair. Her husband, Charles, had been the deputy clerk of the Patent's Office in London, but he left his career to run the studio, and he booked clients, stretched canvases, and looked after art supply.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Yes, he's doing a bit of admin. He's an admin guy. Yes, love that. That's nice. It was a real equal partnership between the couple and the reason we actually know so much about Mary and how a studio was run was because her husband Charles kept an annual studio notebook for over three decades. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:09:16 Taking notes of who sat for Mary, how many sessions and when she completed portraits, the price her clients paid, the materials used, her debts and other details of their lives. I like how you think of that as being equal. He did all the artwork, he kept a couple of notes, equal. Both gave as much as each other. In there was also his feelings. Her feelings? He referred to her in the books as, My Dearest Heart.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Oh, that's nice. Also like that he kept note of her debts. Yeah, yeah. Actually, you didn't pay this one. I guess it was pretty clear to her husband, Charles, that she was a really superior painter. So he acted as her manager, as her colourman, her colourman, which means that he literally ground and made the paint, because you couldn't
Starting point is 00:10:01 buy paint in tubes those days. You couldn't go to a shop and buy a tube of paint. You actually had to either make them yourself, grinding up minerals and mixing them with all sorts of chemicals and oils and tinctures. And he also stretched her canvases. And so he really supported her because it's clear that she's, you know, a technically fantastic artist. Women were forbidden from many types of study at the time and when it came to painting this included access to nude models so women were limited to painting portraits and paint portraits she did
Starting point is 00:10:36 in the book Charles notes that in 1677 Mary completed 90 portraits that year she had 65 different subjects 31 were women and 34 women that's a lot in a year yeah a few days so all here all here Oh, that's a great question. No goldfish.
Starting point is 00:10:58 No goldfish, no ladybugs. Ooh. Yeah, did I think there's a big mark for dog portraits? Yeah. Yeah. They're always playing cards for something. They love cards. I love cards.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I do love cards. I've never had a dog, but I assume they're often playing cards. First thing you get for him. Yeah? Like collar, water bowl, chew toy, bed, deck of cards. Yeah. And they'll thrash you.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Every time, it's... instinct. My dog's always going all in with his snout, pushing chips in. And you're like, are you sure? That's a lot of money. That's $20,000. That's all we have. He says, trust me. I'm going to thrash this dober. So a husband was a great supporter and their kids were actually involved too. Often Mary would complete the portrait and then they'd come in and fill in the background. Oh, I like, okay, this is how she's getting 90 done in a year. Yeah, that's right. She's like, yeah, that's basically done. Who's looking in the background? It's like a little Yeah, it's got a playground, some trees.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Birds that look like ms? Yeah. You know what I mean? Just finish it off and then she's like, that's what I'm on. On this one, they didn't even do it. It's just brown. What's in the background? Brown.
Starting point is 00:12:10 But it's done beautifully. Yeah, the foreground's sick, with that background. Just brown. Sun's let her down. It's also been said that the relaxed family environment was a real plus for her subjects, who often had to sit for an entire day. day as opposed to the larger commercial studios which would be busy hubs with many
Starting point is 00:12:28 apprentices coming and going the family vibe really brought out the best in the subjects it was a relaxed place so she competed with and also impressed the big dogs with the large studios oh there were dogs there yeah they should have painted them no she was busy impressing them hey hey anything it is a bit of razzle basil Peter Lely who I mentioned earlier as the principal painter to all the the monarchs visited her studio at least twice and complimented Beale's works. We know this because Mary's husband Charles made note of the visits in one of his books writing, Mr Laley came to see Mrs Beale's paintings.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Several of them he much commended, and upon observation said Mrs. Beale was much improved in her painting. See, he's not just writing down like what materials were used, how much we're in debt, he's also writing down who complimented us. And what kind of faint praise she got. Faint praise, but from a really good source, you know. I'd take that. If he knew the power he had, he could have written anything in there,
Starting point is 00:13:27 and it would have been taken as fact. Only 400 years later or whatever. Yeah. Oh, a hippo talked to me today. In perfect English. How? Sounds like that. How?
Starting point is 00:13:42 And now, and then 400 years later, we're like, yeah, hippos talk. Yeah. That's what perfect English sounds. Oh, well, perfect hippo English sounds like. Yeah, come on, mate. They've got big weird mouths. Come on, give them a break. That's actually really rude.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Sorry about him. Lely also lent some of his masterworks to be able to study and copy. Because remember, she isn't trained by a formula academy or a school. She's sort of picking up bits and pieces here and there, teaching herself and just absolutely excelling. It's also a little bit funny. Like, she might have asked for it, but it's funny if she didn't,
Starting point is 00:14:17 and he's just brought some of his work and said, have a look at these. She's like, what do I do with this? Yeah, thank you. You're signing headshots. Here you go. Who should I make it out to? She's like,
Starting point is 00:14:26 You came to my studio. We're friends. We've met each other for a long time, Peter. Sorry. So where does this painting fit? Painted in 1680, oil on canvas, portrait of a lady falls under her late period of portraits. The subject is unconfirmed,
Starting point is 00:14:45 but possibly someone called Miss Weston. Miss Western. There's also speculation that the person in the portrait it looks somewhat like Afra Ben, who was a writer of the time, and often referred to as the first female novelist in English. It was amazing to think that possibly the first female portrait artist, and the first female novelist. Yeah, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:15:09 But it is unconfirmed. And, yeah, I also heard that it's possibly framed by the first English female framer. Wow. Yeah. So that's pretty cool. Yep. Where have you heard that? She got her middle part done by the first female English hairdresser.
Starting point is 00:15:27 I heard that possibly, unconfirmed part. I guess you could learn a thing I do, you should go middle. Middle. Okay, five minutes ago you thought I had middle part. It looks middle from here. Okay, it's middle-ish. That's middle. It's actually hanging on a wall that was built by the first English female carpenter and plasterer.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Wow. Do you ship it over here? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this wall was shipped over. It's pretty cool. That's what I've heard. Unconfirmed. You've heard a lot. I've got my ear to the ground.
Starting point is 00:16:00 I note that it's called Portrait of a Lady, but does the NGV or yourself have any theories on who this could be? Sadly, absolutely not. One of the, again, interesting things about Mary Beale is she's extremely prolific. There's probably around 300 paintings and she's principally a portrait painter. And unless there's really empirical evidence that we know that like it's an insubricable. like it's an inscription on the painting, something on the back of the painting, or if it's a likeness of someone really famous who you do know what they look like, there's really no way to tell who it is.
Starting point is 00:16:30 I've read some theories that this possibly looks like the writer Afra Ben. Have you ever heard anything like that? Oh, it's one of the great tropes in art history. Everybody wants to attach a name to a face, and clearly the more famous the person is, possibly the more expensive. The picture could be. Sure, it doesn't cost more. So it's a trope mainly of dealers to attach.
Starting point is 00:16:49 names but as it unless you've got really empirical evidence you can't really it's really hard to do it with her making so many portraits it's going to be pretty much impossible it would be wonderful of course to attach a name to that to that fantastic portrait because she looks a really to be a really interesting woman but that's also about how Mary Beale paints her and that's what's unique I think about Mary Beale looking at the painting the lady sits with poise in a low-cut silk gown with a single string of black pearls The cheeks are red, she's sporting small smile.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Yeah, that is a small smile. That's a hint of a smile. Yeah, a hint of a smile. It's not quite a smirk though. I'm not saying the black pearls, am I? Yeah, they're in the middle and then around the side as well. Oh, no, I'm not saying. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Was that a risque sort of top back then? This isn't the days where ankles were risque? No, no, that. Collar bones are fine. Collarbones are fine. Yeah. cover up those ankles. The subject is surrounded by decorative cartoches,
Starting point is 00:17:54 which is one of my new favourite words. These are the backgrounds possibly painted by her sons, as I talked about. The background seeks to emulate the encasements of 17th century portrait miniatures, of which Mary had painted many during her career. Beale painted in a baroque style, seen throughout Europe from the early 17th to mid-18th centuries.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Crossing many artistic disciplines, hallmarks of the baroque style of portraiture painting include contrast in the long. light, rich colours and attention to detail and fabric that we can see here. Oh yeah. It's Baroque. That's Baroque if I've ever seen it. If I know Baroque, and I do.
Starting point is 00:18:33 You've been Baroque. Whilst we might not know the identity of this subject, we do know many of the people Beale painted. Her clientele mostly consisted of lawyers, doctors and clergymen, but also extended to literary figures and other artists. Possibly Afrobin, possibly. But for me, the most intriguing subject is someone she may have never painted at all. Oh, okay. Matt Stewart. Kareem Abduljabbar.
Starting point is 00:19:01 She may have never painted. It's actually easier to list to people she may not have painted. I mean, she did 90 in a year. So what do you mean by that? It's so intriguing. Let me tell you about Robert Hook. Okay. Robert Hook was born two years after Mary Beale in 1635 and would go on to be one of the most
Starting point is 00:19:20 influential scientists of the century, if not all time. He was a polymath who contributed to an incredible number of scientific fields, including physics, biology, astronomy, geometry, and even paleontology. He discovered and coined the term cell, like a biological cell, when studying microscopic cavities and a piece of cork. He sometimes referred to as England's Leonardo da Vinci. Ah, okay. Thank you for putting it in terms we could understand.
Starting point is 00:19:46 He's a pretty important guy. He's a pretty guy. He's a pretty guy. He's a pretty guy. He's a pretty guy. Well, is he a pretty guy? Oh. I'll talk about that because he was a founding member, fellow curator and secretary of the Royal Society of London and yet no confirmed portrait of him exists.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Something many find odd for such a prominent person. After Hook's death in 1703, his great rival, Isaac Newton, was elected as president of the Royal Society. Now, Hook and Newton hated each other. They had this huge rivalry, claimed credit for each other's work, things like that. They hated each other. And for many years, a rumour has hung around that Newton destroyed the society's portrait of Hook as an act of revenge, sort of erasing his image from history. Amazing. Now, who's Newton in terms of the Ninja Turtles?
Starting point is 00:20:37 Oh, wow. He is England's Leonardo DiCaprio. Okay. You understand. So, yeah, okay. Gotcha. You up to speed? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:46 He's cool but rude. Gotcha. Since Hook's death, many possible portraits of him have been pointed to. People have said, this is Hook. No, this is Hook. Two of which were painted by Ow Mary Beale. Ow, Mary Beale. We do know that Hook was interested in art and visited various painters, including Beale, so he may have sat for her.
Starting point is 00:21:06 In 2003, historian Lisa Jardine proposed that this portrait by Mary Beale was in fact Robert Hook. It matched the few surviving descriptions of his face. Normal looking old guy One of which includes Pointy nose Grey eyes Grey eyes Brutal
Starting point is 00:21:23 Yeah I don't know if you want that Average looking man Is that one of the descriptions of him Just an old guy Old average guy Average man I think I found him Hundreds of years later
Starting point is 00:21:37 Six million matches However this was later However this was later proven instead to be Chemist Yarn Baptiste van Helmont Ah, okay. Sorry, Lisa, you've got it wrong. She was way off. The names aren't close at all.
Starting point is 00:21:53 But more recently, it's been proposed that this painting by Mary Beale, known as Portrait of a Mathematician, could in fact be Robert Hook. Could be. Could be. Okay. They look, I mean, yeah, they kind of look the same. He's just wearing a bigger hair do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Bigger bros. And puffier sleeves. Yeah. Yeah, is that any descriptions? Yeah, he constantly wore puffy. Love to puffy sleeve. His nickname was Puff Daddy. Really?
Starting point is 00:22:21 Really? Yes. Wow. His England's P-Ditty. There's no record of him ever sitting for her, even though Charles took records. Well, that's not going to be him now. He's sitting there. He's trusting Charles.
Starting point is 00:22:32 He kept record of a lot of stuff. But we do know that they knew each other, so it's possible that this is the answer to one of science of history's greatest questions. What did Hook look like? Yeah. That's the big one that science is asking. still today. They're like, sure, we could be working on curing cancer. But what did Hook look like? Solve that Newton. Yeah. He can't. He's long dead. And possibly the one that means we can't solve it. Yeah. Yeah. He destroyed it. That's very petty. Very petty. And pretty
Starting point is 00:23:01 funny as well that there would be like one portrait and that's in. Yeah. Whereas now, if you had to try and delete every picture of me. Oh, man. Oh boy. That's a big skip fire. Yeah. and you're going to hate it all the way through. What is she doing? Oh, God. So many selfies. There's no absolute likeness of Robert Hook, so we don't know that it's definitely Robert Hook,
Starting point is 00:23:25 but it is of a scientist. Now, where that gets a bit tricksy, is that because Mary Bill's husband's a colourman, and he's literally, he's working like a chemist and an alchemist. And when they moved to London in the 1870s, he got in the circle of the Royal Society, where he was meeting up with scientists and mathematicians, architects, philosophers.
Starting point is 00:23:46 And so a lot of the clientele of Mary Beale were drawn from members of the Royal Society. So while Robert Hook's definite possibility, there could be a number of others. There was an idea that it's a guy called Isaac Barrow, who definitely sat for Mary Beale. Everybody wants to attach a name to a face. Sure, it could be Hook,
Starting point is 00:24:04 but I kind of stand by the motto of the Royal Society, which is noisious and verbal, which means take nothing for granted, or don't believe anyone. So you've got to prove it yourself. Mary Beale, herself, crossed multiple disciplines as well as being one of, if not the first female artist to support her family in England.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Mary Bill's 1661 manuscript called Observations is also the earliest known instructional text in English written by a female painter. Wow. And she passed on her knowledge to others, teaching students including other female painters, Kiti Triosh and Sarah Curtis. Sadly for Beale, demand for her style of portrait.
Starting point is 00:24:41 it shrank after the death of her friend Peter Lely in 1680, with whom she shared a very similar style. They just moved on. By the end of the decade, demand for this style had fallen out of favour completely, and Mary Beale died in 1699, being buried in St. James Church in Piccadilly. She was 65 years old. Piccadilly, still on the Monopoly board. Now we're yellow. That's yellow. That's yellow.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Never made it to Strand. That's beyond strand, mate. Fuck. Get some knowledge of the board. It's red there. yellow we all know this. Why does he know this? That makes sense. Yeah it does. No friends. Played Monopoly alone a lot. That's very hard to do. It takes ages. Always won. I win again. Mary Beale has been rediscovered, re-evaluated and re-appreciated in recent years. Her work can now be seen in many famous galleries, including the Tate and the National Portrait Gallery in London.
Starting point is 00:25:36 And of course, right here at the NGV, we can see this painting as well as Portrait of the Artists. Her son, Bartholomew Beal. Her son? Barty Beal. It could also be a small Robert Hook. We just don't know. I'm confirmed. It is confirmed.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Okay. Well... It is an absolutely fantastic portrait now. We're in an area of the gallery full of, you know, paintings by some of the great portrait painters like Van Dyck and Rubens and Peter Lely himself. And yet her work absolutely stands up to those artists. to those artists. It is an insightful work. It's really interesting. I think what I find fascinating about it is how she's completely pared it back. There's no lavish costume, there's no
Starting point is 00:26:21 jewelry. You're dealing with a woman painting, a woman who clearly has a strong character, has, she's quite flirtatious. There's a sense of independence to her, but Mary Beale doesn't clutter her work, so she's not filling it with iconography, she's not filling it with symbols. It's what you see is what you get. And I think that's what's kind of interesting about Mary Beale and about our painting. And as I said, it stands up to these great portrait painters. It absolutely leaps off the wall.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Fantastic picture. That's pretty cool. So that's wild that that painting was done by this person and we can just touch it. Can we touch it? We can touch it. We can touch it right now. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Do not touch it. We can lick it, we can touch it. It's right there. I'm gonna try and... Oh, no. You can just have a look, okay, but hands in your pockets. Look, I'll wipe some of the grease off my hands, okay? Let's compromise.
Starting point is 00:27:20 And then put them in your pockets. Okay, I'm not budget on that one. You're no fun. No, I'm not. I just want to lick a painting. I won't allow it. Sorry about you. This is why the youth don't get into art anymore.
Starting point is 00:27:33 You know how to lick it. Flavoured art. When I was a boy, Scratch and sniff was all the range. Where's that going? You know in Willy Wonka where like the wall? Yeah, snows stories. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Smohs stories. Should we do that with some more art? All right. Finally. Do any of these stink? We've got a couple of stinkers. I've got a stinker over here. Now I'm interested in art.
Starting point is 00:27:59 That's art. I'm back on me. I'm listening again. Are you finished? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I've seen that we would just fade out. Bring him down.
Starting point is 00:28:15 You two leave. I'm still talking to myself. We can't leave, but you'll touch it. We can't leave him on attention. DoGorn Presents Artifacts has been made with the support of the Community Broadcasting Foundation and is available nationwide on the community radio network. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are
Starting point is 00:29:27 and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, Oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy.
Starting point is 00:29:42 It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam free guarantee.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.