Do Go On - Do Go On Presents: Arty Facts - 'Portrait of a Lady'
Episode Date: July 30, 2022Mary Beale was a 17th-century trailblazing painter and her piece 'Portrait of a Lady' currently hangs at the National Gallery of Victoria. But who is the Lady? What the heck is a cartouche? And what's... Mary Beale's whole deal? Dave Warneke explains in this episode of 'Do Go On Presents: Arty Facts'.'Do Go On Presents: Arty Facts' is a joint production from Stupid Old Studios and the Do Go On podcast.Watch this episode and others in the series here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqtTGRMtAdRRnytOX07sHDeThis production was made possible with support from the Community Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more at http://cbf.org.au Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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You're listening to Artifacts, a show that dives into the fascinating history of famous
artworks and painters broadcast on c31 stupid old studios youtube channel and the community
radio network for centuries art in europe was dominated by men at a time where women were
banned from many professions they certainly weren't expected to open an art studio and paint for a living. That is, except for one 17th century woman who
threw convention to the wind. Her name? Mary Beale.
Hello and welcome to Arty Facts. My name is Dave Warnecke and I'm here with Jess Perkins
and Matt Stewart and today we are at the oldest and most visited gallery in Australia, the
National Gallery of Victoria, or as I like to call it, the NGV.
Oof, love that. That should catch on.
That's one of mine.
Yeah, I like that. NGV, that sounds fun.
Don't know what it stands for. Out of the 76,000 plus works here in their collection,
we are in front of Portrait of a Lady by English painter Mary Beale.
What do you think?
I love it.
I love the centre part.
I think that's a strong look.
That's come back too.
Yeah, yeah.
And she's got quite a glowy look in her face too.
That's also very in at the moment.
Very dewy finish in your makeup. Very in. also very in at the moment. Very dewy finish
in your make up. Very in. You've got a centre part and a dewy finish can I understand? I
don't have a centre part or a dewy finish. I don't think you understand either of those
things. Okay anyway. Well straight off the bat I love the title because it says what
it is. None of this abstract stuff we have to sort of squint at and work out what they're
trying to say. That is in no doubt a portrait of a lady. Yeah yeah. Like fight me on it. You can't. It's a portrait of a lady. Yeah, yeah. Like fight me on it. You can't.
It's a portrait of a lady.
Yeah, we'll try and fact check that.
The artist Mary Beale was born Mary Craddock in March 1633.
What's she hiding from?
She's got many aliases.
Many.
Interesting.
Her father John was a clergyman in Suffolk
and may have been the one who taught her how to paint
as he himself was an amateur painter.
Anyone may have been Dave, let's do in facts please. It's in the title of the show.
There's not that much known about her early life.
But we do know that the Craddock family had made their fortune from selling wool.
So that's quite specific, happy with that.
Yeah.
When she was young she met and later had a close relationship with Sir Peter Lely, a Dutch portrait master who painted King Charles I,
and later was principal painter to King Charles II.
Wow.
Lely? I hardly know Lee.
Whatever. We'll edit some stuff out, I should.
You've got to shoot your shot sometimes.
Yeah. I'm taking too many at the moment.
That's what a coffee will do.
Makes me feel like I have something worth sharing.
So she's surrounded by artists, many of whom are of extreme renown.
These were turbulent times in Old Blighty, let me tell you.
In 1642, England erupted in civil war
and King Charles I was arrested, tried and executed for high treason.
January 1649.
Wait, say that again. What happened?
The King of England, King Charles I, was arrested, tried and executed for treason, January 1649. Wait, say that again. What happened? The King of England, King Charles I,
was arrested, tried and executed for treason. How are we not hearing about that until now?
When did that happen? Breaking news. 1649, exactly. Okay, yeah, geez, sorry. Late to the
party on this one. Have you not been on Twitter today? No. No, the monarchy was abolished and
the Commonwealth of England was established as a republic. You remember this? Eventually, a controversial figure, Oliver Cromwell,
emerged as Lord Protector of England, regarded by many
as a bit of a dictator.
Oh.
Emphasis on the dick there.
He passed the title of Lord Protector onto his son,
Richard Cromwell, who was nicknamed Tumble Down Dick
after he struggled to hang on to power.
OK.
That's a bit of a slap in the face.
Lord Protector.
I think I like that job title, but did he give it to himself?
Did he make that up?
Those kind of nicknames never stick, do they,
when you give them to yourself?
Isn't that right, Cobra?
Yes, Cobra's good.
Just don't call me Tumble Down Dick.
Well, that's much more likely to stick, Tumble Down.
I will hang on to power at all costs.
T.D. But eventually in 1660 King Charles the First's son, conveniently named Charles the Second,
regained the throne and restored the kingdoms of England, Scotland and Ireland. So this was all in
the first 27 years of Mary's life and it seemed one of the only consistencies around the court
was portraiture. Her friend Peter Lely was talented enough that he managed to paint
for all three of these leaders.
Charles I, then Oliver Cromwell and then Charles II.
So art's one of the only consistent things.
Art is forever.
I agree.
You know what I mean?
Because some things are fleeting, but art.
That's rubber.
That's rubber.
Yeah. You know what I mean? I thinkeville. That's Roeville. Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I think I do.
I don't think he gets it, but he does.
No, I do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get that.
It's okay if you don't.
Continue, please, Dave.
Mary herself practised with self-portraits and painted small copies of Lely's works,
whose style was a big influence.
And not much else is known about her early life,
but in 1652, we do know she married Charles Beale.
Ah, that's where the Beale comes from.
That's where the Beale comes from, okay.
As I was wondering.
No relation.
Who was also an amateur painter.
So there's a lot of painters in her life.
Together, the couple had two children,
Bartholomew and Charles Jr.
During the kids' childhoods in 1665,
the family moved to Hampshire,
narrowly avoiding the plague.
So they lived away from London for five years with Mary perfecting her craft.
And on their return in 1670, they moved to Pall Mall where Mary started advertising herself.
On the board.
Professional painter, that's right.
Purple square?
I think?
Pall Mall.
I would have said blue.
Pall Mall.
It's got a yellow feel to me.
Ooh, okay!
Is it near Leicester Square?
Pall Mall, Northumberland Avenue and...
They're purple.
I don't recall purple.
Yeah, there's purple.
I don't think I've ever made it one circuit around the board before flipping it.
Board!
This sucks!
They promised so much with the little horsey, but then it's all downhill from there.
I'm a useless thimble.
Well, to find out more about Mary Beale and this piece,
I'm here with NGV Curator of International Art, Laurie Benson.
Hello, Laurie. Hi, Dave, how are you? Very well, thank you.
Now, I thought we'd start with Mary Beale herself.
She's probably the first real professional female British artist
working in the 18th century.
There were a handful of women working around that time, but she broke so many barriers.
And it was tough then to be a woman artist.
Women weren't really examined, they weren't really looked at.
And our painting is a perfect example of that because she had this association with the great Peter Lely,
who's the principal portrait painter in Stuart, England.
This painting, because it was so good,
it couldn't possibly have been by a woman.
So it was actually attributed to the studio of Peter Lely.
Now that because of this, all this research and resurgence
and interest in women artists since the 70s,
but particularly in the last five to ten years, that's now been redressed.
And I think thankfully she is quite an incredible character.
She started advertising herself as a professional painter.
This was very unusual at the time for the conservative and predominantly Protestant society.
Women were generally believed to be morally, spiritually and intellectually inferior.
The big three.
Some of us continue to prove that today.
Well they didn't work many jobs and they certainly didn't run painting studios.
I was just thinking as well, because she started to just say she's professional.
Yep.
And really, isn't that how anybody goes from being amateur to professional?
You just start saying you're professional?
Fake it till you make it.
Exactly.
So I respect that.
Dress for the job you want.
Was she wearing overalls?
Yeah.
Was she covered in paint?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Paint covered overalls? Does she have a ponytail in paint? Yeah. Paint covered overalls? She had a ponytail and glasses.
You look legit.
Bare feet.
Can't wait until later in the movie when she takes them off and we realise how hot she is.
She's beautiful.
But she actually became the breadwinner for the family.
Sort of like a duck.
Dunno. Dunno.
She's actually commonly referred to as the first English woman
to support her family from her paintings.
Wow.
Well, she was the first.
This is a little bit of debate, but she's certainly a trailblazer,
and her family supported her in turn,
the studio becoming a fully-fledged family affair.
Her husband, Charles, had been the deputy clerk
of the Patons' office in London, but he left his career to run the studio and he booked clients,
stretched canvases and looked after art supplies.
Yes, he's doing a bit of admin.
He's the admin guy.
Yes, love that. That's nice.
It was a real equal partnership between the couple and the reason we actually know so much
about Mary and how her studio was run was because her husband Charles kept an annual
studio notebook for over three decades.
Whoa.
Taking notes of who sat for Mary, how many sessions,
and when she completed portraits, the price her clients paid,
the materials used, her debts, and other details of their lives.
I like how you think of that as being equal.
She did all the artwork.
He kept a couple of notes, equal.
Both gave as much as each other.
In there was also his feelings.
Her feelings.
He referred to her in the books as my dearest heart.
Oh that's nice.
Also liked that he kept note of her debts.
Yeah.
Actually, you didn't pay this one.
I guess it was pretty clear to her husband Charles that she was a really superior painter.
So he acted as her manager, as her colourman, which means that he literally ground and made
the paint, because you couldn't buy paint in tubes those days.
You couldn't go to a shop and buy a tube of paint.
You actually had to either make them yourself, grinding up minerals and mixing them with
all sorts of chemicals and oils and tinctures.
And he also stretched her canvases.
And so he really supported her because it's clear that she's a technically fantastic artist.
Women were forbidden from many types of study at the time.
And when it came to painting, this included access to nude models.
So women were limited to painting portraits. And paint portraits, she did.
In the book, Charles notes that in 1677, Mary completed
90 portraits that year. She had 65 different subjects,
31 were women and 34 were men. That's a lot
in a year. In a year? Yeah. Every few days.
So all human portraits, though?
Oh, that's a great question.
Yeah.
No goldfish.
No goldfish.
No ladybugs.
Oof.
No.
Yeah, I think there's a big mark for dog portraits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're always playing cards for some reason.
They love cards.
I love them.
I do love cards.
Dogs and their cards.
I've never had a dog, but I assume they're often playing cards.
First thing you get for them.
Yeah?
Collar, water bowl.
Chew toy.
Bed.
Deck of cards.
And they'll thrash you.
Every time. It's instinct.
My dog's always going all in with his snout.
Pushing chips in.
And you're like, are you sure?
That's a lot of money. That's $20,000.
That's all we have.
He says, trust me, I'm going to thrash this doberman.
So her husband was a great supporter and their kids were actually involved too.
Often Mary would complete the portrait and then they'd come in
and fill in the background.
Oh, I like that.
Okay, this is how she's getting 90 done in a year.
Yeah, that's right.
She's like, yeah, that's basically done.
Who's looking in the background? It's like a little year. Yeah, that's right. She's like, yeah, that's basically done. Who's looking in the background?
It's like a little sketch.
Yeah, it's got a playground, some trees.
Birds that look like M's.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Just finish it off.
And then she's like, that's what I'm on.
On this one, they didn't even do anything.
It's just brown.
What's in the background?
Brown.
But it's done beautifully.
Yeah, the foreground's sick. but that background, just brown.
Sun flittered down.
It's also been said that the relaxed family environment
was a real plus for her subjects,
who often had to sit for an entire day.
As opposed to the larger commercial studios,
which would be busy hubs with many apprentices coming and going,
the family vibe really brought out the best in the subjects.
It was a relaxed place. So she competed with and also impressed the big dogs with the large studios.
Oh there were dogs there. Well they should have painted them.
No she was busy impressing them.
A bit of razzle dazzle. Peter Lely, who I mentioned earlier was the principal painter to all the
the monarchs,
visited her studio at least twice and complimented Beale's works.
We know this because Mary's husband, Charles,
made note of the visits in one of his books, writing,
Mr Lely came to see Mrs Beale's paintings.
Several of them he much commended,
and upon observation said Mrs Beale was much improved in her painting.
See, he's not just writing down what materials were used,
how much were in debt,
he's also writing down who complimented us.
And what kind of faint praise she got.
Faint praise, but from a really good source.
I'd take that.
If he knew the power he had,
he could have written anything in there
and it would have been taken as fact
only 400 years later or whatever.
He trusted.
Yeah.
Oh, a hippo talked to me today.
Yeah.
Wow.
In perfect English.
Oh.
Sounds like that.
Oh.
And now, I mean, 400 years later, we're like, yeah, hippos talk.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And that's what perfect English sounds like.
Oh, well, perfect hippo English.
Yeah, come on, mate. They've got big've got big weird mouths come on give them a break
that's actually really rude sorry about him sorry about that lately he also lent some of his
masterworks to be able to study and copy because remember she isn't trained by a formal academy or
a school she's sort of picking up bits and pieces here and there teaching herself and just absolutely
excelling it's also a little bit funny.
Like she might have asked for it, but it's funny if she didn't
and he's just brought some of his work and said,
have a look at these.
She's like, what do I do with this?
Yeah, thank you.
He's signing headshots.
Here you go.
Who should I make it up to?
You came to my studio.
We're friends.
We've known each other for a long time, Peter.
Sorry.
So where does this painting fit?
Painted in 1680, oil on canvas,
Portrait of a Lady falls under her late period of portraits.
The subject is unconfirmed, but possibly someone called Miss Weston.
Miss Weston.
There's also speculation that the person in the portrait
looks somewhat like Aphra Behn,
who was a writer of the time and often referred to as the first female novelist in English.
So it's amazing to think that possibly the first female portrait artist painted the first female novelist.
Yeah, that's cool.
But it is unconfirmed.
And I also heard that it's possibly framed
by the first English female framer.
Wow. Yeah.
So that's pretty cool. Yep.
Where have you heard that?
She got her middle part done
by the first female English hairdresser.
I heard that possibly. Unconfirmed, but...
You could learn a thing or two. You should go middle.
Middle. OK. Five minutes ago, You could learn a thing or two. You should go middle. Middle.
Okay. Five minutes ago you thought I had a middle part.
It looks middle from here.
Okay, it's middle-ish.
It's actually hanging on a wall that was built by the first English female carpenter.
Wow.
Do they ship it over here?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this wall was shipped over. Shipped over.
Pretty cool.
That's what I've heard.
Unconfirmed.
You've heard a lot.
Got my ear to the ground.
I note that it's called Portrait of a Lady,
but does the NGV or yourself have any theories on who this could be?
Sadly, absolutely not.
One of the, again, interesting things about Mary Beale is she's extremely prolific.
There's probably around 300 paintings, and she's principally a portrait painter. And unless there's really empirical
evidence that we know that like it's an inscription on the painting, something on the back of the
painting, or if it's a likeness of someone really famous who you do know what they look like,
there's really no way to tell who it is. I've read some theories that this possibly looks like
the writer Afro Ben. Have you ever heard anything like that? Oh, it's one of the great
tropes in art history. Everybody wants to attach a name to a face and
clearly the more famous the person is, possibly the more expensive the picture
could be. It would cost more. So it's a trope mainly of dealers to attach names
but as I said, unless you've got really empirical evidence,
you can't really, it's really hard to do it. With her making so many portraits, it's going to be pretty much impossible. It would be wonderful, of course, to attach a name to
that fantastic portrait because she looks to be a really interesting woman, but that's
also about how Mary Beale paints her, and that's what's unique, I think, about Mary
Beale.
Mary Beale paints her and that's what's unique I think about Mary Beale. Looking at the painting the lady sits with poise and a low-cut silk gown with
a single string of black pearls. Her cheeks are red, she's sporting a small
smile. Yeah that is a small smile. That's a hint of a smile. It's not quite a smirk
though. I'm not seeing the black pearls am am I? Yeah, they're in the middle and then around the side as well.
Oh, no, I'm not saying that.
Okay.
Was that a risque sort of top back then?
Was this in the days where ankles were risque?
No, no, no.
Collarbones are fine.
Collarbones are fine, yeah.
Cover up those ankles.
The subject is surrounded by decorative cartouches,
which is one of my new favourite words.
These are the backgrounds possibly painted by her son, as we talked about.
The background seeks to emulate the encasements of 17th-century
portrait miniatures of which Mary had painted many during her career.
Hmm.
Beale painted in a Baroque style, seen throughout Europe
from the early 17th to mid-18th centuries. Crossing many artistic disciplines, hallmarks of a Baroque style seen throughout Europe from the early 17th to mid 18th centuries.
Crossing many artistic disciplines, hallmarks of the Baroque style of portraiture painting include
contrast in light, rich colours and attention to detail and fabric that we can see here.
Oh yeah, that's Baroque.
That's Baroque if I've ever seen it.
If I know Baroque, can I do?
You've been Baroque.
Yeah.
Whilst we might not know the identity of this subject,
we do know many of the people Beale painted.
Her clientele mostly consisted of lawyers, doctors and clergymen,
but also extended to literary figures and other artists,
possibly Afro-Ban, possibly.
But for me, the most intriguing subject is someone she may have never painted at all.
Okay. Matt Stewart. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
She may have never painted him.
It's actually easier to list the people she may not have painted.
I mean, she did 90 in a year. So what do you mean by that? It's so
intriguing. Let me tell you about Robert Hooke.
Okay.
Robert Hooke was born two years after Mary Beale in 1635
and would go on to be one of the most influential scientists
of the century, if not all time.
He was a polymath who contributed to an incredible number
of scientific fields, including physics, biology, astronomy,
geometry and even paleontology.
He discovered and coined the term cell,
like a biological cell, when studying microscopic cavities in a piece of cork.
He's sometimes referred to as England's Leonardo da Vinci.
Ah, okay. Thank you for putting it in terms we could understand. He's a pretty important guy.
He's a pretty guy. He's a pretty guy.
He's a pretty guy. He's a pretty guy.
He's a pretty guy. Well, is he a pretty He's a pretty guy. He's a pretty guy.
He's a pretty guy.
Well, is he a pretty guy?
Oh.
We'll talk about that because he was a founding member,
fellow curator and secretary of the Royal Society of London and yet no confirmed portrait of him exists,
something many find odd for such a prominent person.
After Hook's death in 1703, his great rival, Isaac Newton,
was elected as president of the Royal Society.
Now, Hook and Newton hated each other.
They had this huge rivalry, claimed credit for each other's work,
things like that.
They hated each other.
And for many years, a rumour has hung around that Newton destroyed
the society's portrait of Hook as an act of revenge,
sort of erasing his image from history.
Amazing. Now, who's Newton in terms of the Ninja Turtles?
He is England's Leonardo DiCaprio.
OK.
You can understand.
So, yeah, OK, gotcha.
You up to speed? Yeah.
He's cool but rude.
Gotcha.
Since Hook's death, many possible portraits of him have been pointed to.
People said, this is Hook.
No, this is Hook.
Two of which were painted by Al Mary Beale.
Al Mary Beale.
We do know that Hook was interested in art and visited various painters,
including Beale, so he may have sat for her.
In 2003, historian Lisa Jardine proposed that this portrait by Mary Beale
was in fact Robert Hook.
It matched the few surviving descriptions of his face.
Normal looking old guy.
One of which includes...
Pointy nose.
Grey eyes.
Grey eyes.
Brutal.
Yeah, I don't know if you want that.
Average looking man, is that one of the descriptions of him?
Just an old guy.
Old average guy.
Average man. I think I found him. Hundreds an old guy. Old average guy. Average man. I think I found him.
Hundreds of years later. Six million matches.
However, this was later proven instead to be chemist Jan-Baptiste Van Helmont.
Ah, okay. Sorry, Lisa, you got it wrong.
She was way off. Those names aren't close at all.
But more recently it's been proposed that this painting by Mary Beale,
known as Portrait of a Mathematician, could in fact be Robert Hooke.
Could be.
Could be.
Okay.
They look, I mean, yeah, they kind of look the same.
He's just wearing a bigger hairdo.
And puffier sleeves.
Yeah. Is that any descriptions. And puffier sleeves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that any descriptions?
Yeah.
He constantly wore puffy.
Loved a puffy sleeve.
His nickname was Puff Daddy.
Really?
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
His England's P. Diddy.
There's no record of him ever sitting for her, even though Charles took records of
his.
Well, that's not going to be him, though.
Yeah, I'm trusting Charles.
He's sitting there. I'm trusting Charles' records. He kept a record of a lot of stuff.
But we do know that they knew each other,
so it's possible that this is the answer to one of science
and history's greatest questions.
What did Hook look like?
Yeah, that's the big one that science is asking still today.
That's right.
They're like, sure, we could be working on curing cancer.
But what did Hook look like?
Solve that, Newton.
Yeah.
Can't.
He's long dead. He's long dead and possibly the one that means weve that, Newton. Yeah. Can't. He's long dead.
He's long dead and possibly the one that means we can't solve it.
Yeah.
Because he destroyed it.
That's very petty.
Very petty.
And pretty funny as well that there would be like one portrait and that's it.
Yeah.
Whereas now, if you had to try and delete every picture of me.
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
That's a big skip fire.
Yeah.
And you're going to hate it all the way through.
What is she doing?
Oh God, so many selfies.
There's no absolute likeness of Robert Hooke,
so we don't know that it's definitely Robert Hooke,
but it is of a scientist.
Now where that gets a bit tricksy is that because Marybill's
husband's a colour man and he is literally,
he's working like a chemist and an alchemist.
And when they moved to London in the 1870s,
he got in the circle of the Royal Society
where he was meeting up with scientists and mathematicians,
architects, philosophers.
And so a lot of the clientele of Mary Beale
were drawn from members of the Royal Society.
So while Robert Hooke's a definite possibility,
there could be a number of others. There was an idea that it's a guy called Isaac Barrow,
who definitely sat for Mary Beale. Everybody wants to attach a name to a face. Sure, it could
be Hooke, but I kind of stand by the motto of the Royal Society, which is nullius in verba,
which means take nothing for granted or don't believe anyone. So you've got to prove it yourself.
Mary Beale herself crossed multiple disciplines as well as being one of,
if not the first female artist to support her family in England.
Mary Beale's 1661 manuscript called Observations is also the earliest known
instructional text in English written by a female painter.
Wow.
And she passed on her knowledge to others, teaching students, including other female painters,
Kitty Trioche and Sarah Curtis.
Sadly for Beale, demand for her style of portrait
shrank after the death of her friend Peter Lely in 1680,
with whom she shared a very similar style.
They just moved on.
By the end of the decade, demand for this style
had fallen out of favour completely,
and Mary Beale died in 1699, being buried in St James' Church in Piccadilly.
She was 65 years old.
Piccadilly, still on the Monopoly board.
Now we're yellow, that's yellow.
That's yellow.
Never made it to Strand.
That's beyond Strand, mate.
Fuck!
Get some knowledge of the board.
It's red, then yellow.
We all know this.
Why does he know this?
That makes sense. Yeah, then yellow. We all know this. Why does he know this? That makes sense.
Yeah, it does.
No friends.
Played Monopoly alone a lot.
That's very hard to do.
Takes ages.
Always won.
I win again.
Mary Beale has been rediscovered, re-evaluated
and re-appreciated in recent years.
Her work can now be seen in many famous galleries,
including the Tate and the National Portrait Gallery in London and of course
right here at the NGV we can see this painting as well as Portrait of the
Artist's Son by Tholomew Beale.
Her son? Barty Beale. It could also be
a small Robert Hooke. We just don't know.
I'm confirmed. It is confirmed.
OK.
Well.
It is an absolutely fantastic portrait.
Now, we're in an area of the gallery full of, you know,
paintings by some of the great portrait painters
like Van Dyck and Rubens and Peter Lely himself,
and yet her work absolutely stands up to those artists.
It is an insightful work.
It's really interesting.
I think what I find fascinating about it is how she's completely
pared it back.
There's no lavish costume.
There's no jewellery.
You're dealing with a woman painting a woman who clearly has a strong
character, she's quite flirtatious.
There's a sense of independence to her.
But Mary Beale doesn't clutter her work, so she's not filling it with iconography. She's not fillingatious. There's a sense of independence to her, but Mary Beale doesn't clutter her work,
so she's not filling it with iconography.
She's not filling it with symbols.
It's what you see is what you get,
and I think that's what's kind of interesting
about Mary Beale and about our painting.
And as I said, it stands up to these great portrait painters.
It absolutely leaps off the wall.
Fantastic picture.
That's pretty cool.
So that's why...
I mean, it's wild
that that painting was
done by this person
and we can just touch it. Can we touch it?
I don't know. We cannot touch it.
We can touch it right now.
Do not touch it. We can lick it.
We can touch it. It's right there.
I knew you were going to try and lick it.
You can just have a look, okay, but
hands in your pockets.
Look, I'll wipe some of the grease off my hands okay let's compromise and then put them in your pockets
okay i'm not budging on that one you're no fun no i'm not i just want to lick a painting i won't
allow it sorry about it this is what this is why the youth don't get into art anymore.
You know I lick it.
Flavoured art.
When I was a boy, scratch and sniff was all the rage.
Where's that gone?
You know in Willy Wonka where they got the wall?
Yeah, snozz stories.
Smell like snozz stories.
Should we do that with some more art?
Alright.
Finally.
Do any of these stink?
We got a couple of stinkers.
I've got a stinker over here.
Now I'm interested in art.
I'm back on me. I'm listening again.
Are you finished?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I've seen that we just fade out.
Bring him down. You two leave. I assume that we'll just fade out. Bring him down.
You two leave.
I'm still talking to myself.
If you can't leave, you'll touch it.
If you can't leave, you won't attend it.
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