Do Go On - Do Go On Presents: Do Go D&D - Character Creations
Episode Date: March 30, 2020Hey team! Just dropping in on your feed with a little Do Go On Presents Do Go D&D. This is the prequel episode to a Patreon bonus series we have just released where we played our first ever game o...f Dungeons & Dragons with Dungeon Master Adam Carnevale (whose sweet voice you might know from Sanspants, D&D is for Nerds and Getting Fruity With Matt and The Boys).We'd never played before so we hit record as Adam was explaining things to us. If you want to hear the actual three episode campaign then you can hear it, as well as 60+ other bonus episodes on our Patreon page, or on Sanspants Plus:patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you.
And we should also say this is 2026.
Jess, what year is it?
2026.
Thank God you're here.
Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the
Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun.
We'd love to see you there.
Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.
If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto
for shows.
That's going to be so much fun.
Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online.
And I'm here too.
Welcome to Dugan Presents.
We're all kicking back in the lounge of the Dugan Mansion.
It's all leather-bound stuff in here.
The couches are leather-bound.
The curtains, Dave's chaps, all leather-bounds.
Leather abounds in here.
Pleather, should I say.
Pleather.
Is it pleather or leather?
This is your place.
It's 100% leather.
Oh.
Wow.
What animal?
Is a pleather pleasure leather?
Pleather is possum leather.
Oh, yes, well, yes, it's all possum leather.
And, you know, what we like to do is kick back, have a brandy, cognac.
Oh, yeah, and digestive.
Yes, a beautiful combination.
We have a string quartet in the corner playing pop numbers by...
Katie Perry, mostly.
It's just roar on repeat.
I am hot than I'm cold sometimes.
sometimes.
That's beautiful.
And yeah, we do have both the open fireplace roaring
and a really expensive air conditioner.
That's what classy people do.
What kind of air conditioning you got?
Oh, expensive one.
We're keeping the room the perfect temperature.
Not too toasty, but not too chilly.
Yeah.
It's fighting.
They're fighting each other.
And no one's winning but us at a comfortable temperature.
Now we're just dropping in your feed on a Monday.
No one saw this coming.
No one.
This is a surprise attack.
Bang.
Gotcha.
You're thinking, why is this coming up in my feed?
Has there been some mistake?
Well, maybe.
You tell us.
Yeah, you've had to find out.
That feels a little like it is.
So a month or two ago now, the three of us got together with our great friend, Adam, Carnivalet.
Carnivalet.
It's such an amazing name.
Incredible name.
Written down, fantastic, as well as said out loud.
Everyone at home have a go.
See? You're welcome.
That was that fun.
Not only an incredible name, an incredibly friendly chap.
Oh my God, what a delight.
He's so nice and lovely.
Yep.
He's just one of those infectiously happy guys.
I'd call him one of the best boys.
He is a best boy.
And if you're not familiar with his work,
he's part of the Sanspans radio crew,
and is their dungeon master on D&D is for nerds.
Well, some of you might know him from Sanspans,
but most of you will know him as one of the boys.
from getting fruity with Matt and the boys.
Obviously, that's where we'll all know him from.
Which is a spinoff of primates, which is a spinoff of Dugo On.
Fantastic.
And we're presenting a new spin-off to you today, which is our Doogo D&D,
or Do Go Dungeons and Drag Ons.
Okay.
See what we've done there?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
I didn't approve that, but I see what you did.
Thank you.
I felt it's been named so many different things, but the artwork is,
is it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
Do go D&D.
Do go D&D.
And I don't remember approving that, but I probably wouldn't need to have.
But thankfully, the artwork looks so good.
It doesn't matter what it says.
It looks so good.
It looks so good.
I think I was favouring do go ons and dragons.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Well.
I was favouring do go ons and dragons.
I think that we've found a winner.
Oh, do drag on.
That's pretty good.
Do drag on.
Oh shit.
Well, hopefully there will be a series too.
So what you're about to hear is we recorded our first ever Dungeons and Dragons campaign.
Do Dragon is actually our show about RuPaul.
And we have opinions.
And, yeah, because we did our, I did a report on Dungeons and Dragons for Blocktober last year.
And a few people said, oh, you guys should have a go up playing it.
And we thought, oh, maybe.
And then Adam came to the party and said, how about I make a party for you?
It was more than a party, though.
It was more of a carnivalet.
It was a full carnivalro.
Absolutely.
There was a fate.
Yep.
There was a parade.
There was a game of Dungeons and Dragons.
If you can call it a game.
Is that rude?
I don't know.
And what you're about to hear is we had never played the game before.
Still enough as a game.
And so we just hit record as Adam was explaining how it was going to work to us.
And so this is sort of our character creation episode.
And if you like what you hear, you can listen to the full three episode camp.
which goes for over two hours right now on our Patreon as a bonus episode that we
released this month there's three episodes there patreon.com slash do go on pod and it's
sitting there with over 60 other bonus episodes from all sorts of topics lots of reports that were
too saucy for the general public yeah my god jeff the talking mongoose that was too sexy for your
ears that's still one of my favorites the nanny too sexy oh wow too sexy lady in red wow
Mighty Morphan Power Rangers. Too sexy.
Ooh, and a curse as well.
Yes.
What else was there?
Stockholm Syndrome.
Am I saying this right?
Sanford Prison Experiment?
Stanford.
Stanford.
Stanford's where Morrissey was from or something.
No, what's that?
The Lads Club?
Oh, Solford.
Okay.
Oh, I might turn my mic off.
I'll say, yeah, this is just a bonus thing to throw into your feed.
Hopefully you enjoy it.
And, yeah, the campaign, if you want to listen to us, actually play this thing.
It's patreon.com slash do-go-on pod available right now.
And, yeah, we'll be back on Wednesday with a new episode and we'll see you then.
Do drag on.
Later's.
Welcome to character creation for Do Go D&D.
So you have your stats.
You have strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom and charisma.
Strength is just a raw measure of your physical strength.
rank, I suppose. How the heaviest thing you can lift, how hard you can hit. Dexterity is your agility.
It's how well you are at dodging things, how hard you are to hit and things like that.
So these numbers, how did you come up with them?
There's, so there's a couple different ways you can do it. There's what I did here is called a
standard array, which is like just a series of numbers, six numbers that are considered quotation
marks fair by the D&D community.
Okay.
They're not too high, they're not too low.
Should we be saying these for the listeners as you go through them?
I'm on zero strength, which isn't because you can go into negative.
Yes.
Zero is actually human average.
Right.
Yeah, so human average would be zero in any one of these.
Yeah.
Zero is like a plus two and Dave Warnocky average.
Yeah.
You're plus two on this one?
For my character is a plus one on strength.
Oh, I'm minus one.
Yes.
It's kind of backwards to real.
laugh. Yes, I would be, well, if zero is human average, I'd probably be sitting at
what a plus five? Freakishly strong, I think, is probably roughly where I'd be. I believe plus
four is actually human maximum. So plus four in strength is like, Arnie at his peak.
Yeah, so it'd still be plus five, I'd say. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Then for dexterity, I'm a plus three.
I am also a plus three. Plus two. Well, it's still an incredibly agile party. Oh, yes. And
Constitution, what are we talking about there? What's that mean?
That is your health, essentially.
So different to strength, different to how strong you are.
Constitution is your hit points, so how hard you are to kill, and it determines things like your immunities to poison and stuff like that.
How hard it is for a disease to get you.
How much vitamin C you've been taking and whether or not you went and bought that armor force at the chemist, you've been taking that every day.
Well, I have because I'm a plus one.
I'm also a plus one.
Me too.
Oh, good.
Yeah, decent party.
Then we get into the mental stats.
The first one is intelligence.
That is book smarts.
So, like, how far you went in school,
how much you can recall from books that you've read, essentially.
Right.
All right.
Well, I am not too good here.
I'm a minus one.
I'm a plus two.
I'm a zero.
Plus zero, not a minus zero.
Human average.
Important distinction to make.
So looking to Matt as our,
most bookish member.
Okay, this feels wrong.
This is a limiting life.
And then you have wisdom.
So if intelligence is your book smarts,
wisdom would be your street smarts.
It's how well you are at determining
if someone is lying to you
or how good you are at reading tracks in the mud.
Oh, yeah, cool.
Well, stick with me, boys, plus two over here.
I'm a neg one.
I'm a zero.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, let's stick with her.
I got you covered.
And then finally, we have charisma.
Charisma is what the word implies.
It is how charismatic you are.
How quickly you could form and lead a cult.
Yes.
That requires a lot of charisma.
That's true.
And I think I'm going to form on with my plus three over here.
Oh, yeah, I'm a plus two.
I'm going to be a rival cult over here at plus three.
Oh, okay.
Matt, who's cult?
Who are you going to go with?
Oh, geez, you're both so charismatic.
I'm going to spend a bit of time in both.
Maybe we should introduce our characters.
We haven't done that yet.
Please, yeah.
Give just like short introduction, name, race and class, if you will.
Yep, well, I'm Gregory Grubb.
I mean, you chose that name.
You can't fumble over it every time.
Gregory Grub, I'm a Warlock 2.
Is that right?
Warlock Level 2.
Warlock Level 2.
And Race is Deep Gnome.
And I went on the radio and they helped the host help me pick those.
So I don't know if they're good or not.
But you, Adam kind of Arleigh, seemed to think they were pretty good.
I did a pretty decent job, I think, of making your character nice and rounded.
And I'm also a greeting card salesman.
Yes.
That's your background.
Your background is greeting card salesman.
I believe I gave you the merchant sort of specialty background, which I'm saying is a greeting card.
sales.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
And I took that from Get Smart, obviously.
The most famous grading card salesman cover job.
Yeah, obviously.
Who are you, man?
Dave over here.
I am Casino Musgraves.
How did you think of that name?
I thought the name Casino was quite cool.
Yeah, that's funny.
You're not even the first person named Casino that has been in D&D is for D-Euts.
Amazing.
Incredible.
That is amazing.
That's a popular name.
Really?
Yeah.
I wrote down four names I was thinking up in my backyard and this one.
I was listening to a bit of country Casey Musgraves lately.
That's what I stole the last name from.
I am a monk level two.
My race is a lightfoot halfling.
Okay.
What does that mean?
You'll find out.
From Adam.
Adam, what does that mean?
So a late foot halfling is kind of, they're very similar.
Halflings are often described, or sorry, the name is used interchangeably with hobbits,
and Lightfoot Halflings are probably the closest to Hobbits that the Halfling race gets.
Right, cool.
You are very incredibly lucky, so that takes the form of if I ever roll a D20,
which is one of the most important dice in this game, you roll it the most.
If I ever roll that and I get a one, the worst possible result, you get to roll again.
Because you're lucky.
Oh, thank you.
So D20, just for all the people out, obviously I understand this,
but for the people out there, the D is for dice and the 20 is how many sides on the dice?
Yes.
So there's a, the mechanic is, it's number D number.
So the first number is how many dice.
Then the second number is the sides on the dice.
Right.
So 1D20 is one 20 sided dice.
Yeah.
1D6 is one six sided dice.
Yeah.
2D6 is two six-sided dice.
Makes sense?
Yes.
That actually does.
Yes.
There you go.
And the D is always dice.
Yeah, the D is always.
The D stands for dice.
In this game specifically, the D stands for dice.
Unless Jackson Bailey's playing, I reckon.
It probably has a different.
Get me bloody started.
Can I tell you about my character?
Please.
Okay, so I just while you guys were talking, came up with a first name.
Because previously I only had a surname for my character,
but I just thought of a first name.
I'm so excited.
So I am Jebediah Shooting Star.
Oh, that's great.
That's a good name.
Thank you so much.
I am a dark elf and I am a bard level two.
And my background is entertainer because I'm not, I don't have much of imagination.
And I have to just draw from my own life.
I, and I forgot to say that I am a monster hunter, but I tell people that I'm an accountant.
Oh.
As a cover for your monster hunting?
That's my cover story.
Oh, great.
That's right. Casino Busgraves like to fly under the radar.
Okay.
Just a normal everyday joke, casino.
Shooting Star and Gregory Grub, both of you have access to spells.
Yes.
Shooting Star, you cast your spells through song or performance.
Yes.
So you pick a method of performance.
I've given you a couple of instruments.
I gave you several just to see what you might like.
triangle
Here's my options
I have bagpipes
drum
flute
flute
so I've got a bunch
to choose from
yeah these all same
like appropriate instruments
you could also sing or perform
if you wanted to
or in
in earlier editions of the game
they had like an entire system
around telling comedy
really
there was a specific
look I'm getting into a diversion
already but there was an ability
called, I actually forget what it was called,
but it was like over the course of
like 10 or 20 seconds you tell a joke
and at the end of it your opponent
laughs so hard they die.
Man, I wish that happened to some audiences.
That they'd laugh.
Yeah.
And then die.
What audience do you hate so much?
They're laughing so hard that you're like, I wish these guys are done.
Too much, too much.
Let me move on.
Settle down.
I've only got 50 minutes up here.
I didn't see a clip of James Acaster
on the late late show.
And it was that kind of crowd.
Laughing too much.
He's like, applause breaks and stuff.
I was like, just can you let him get through the bit?
Guys, that was just a setup.
So I'm from England?
Yeah.
Like, it was real funny stuff.
It was stuff from one of his specials.
But it's sort of like when like the rhythm is interfered with when every 10 seconds,
there's an applause break.
Yeah, that's hard.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yep.
He's one time he's like, yep, yep, yep, that deserves that.
Yes, okay.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
This is incredibly.
unprofessional of me.
But Jess,
you,
unfortunately,
I actually forgot
to give your character
equipment,
but I have quickly put it in
on my thing.
I just wanted to let you know
what you have.
You can write this down
if you want,
or if you think you're
really good at remembering it,
you can just keep it in your head.
Where does equipment go?
I'm pretty good.
It's on the second page,
I should say,
yeah,
to the listeners,
we've got four sheets
of info in front of us each
and it's like,
it's all nicely set out.
Would it be okay
for us to upload
to show
listeners this information later on.
I'll give you the updated sheets that have Jess's equipment on it as well.
So yeah, absolutely.
Of course you can upload these.
What equipment do I have?
You have a scroll case.
So it's like just a case to keep papers in.
Sure.
You have a chest.
Yes, I do.
The best way to carry all of your equipment.
You have a costume.
You may pick what the costume is.
A fairy.
Absolutely.
I in the past chose bummed.
will be.
So fairy is absolutely fine.
Fairy costume, please.
You have fine clothes, which means just fancy clothes, essentially.
Yeah, just like my own fashion.
It's fine.
Mm-hmm.
You have a dagger.
Oh, yep.
It sounds like me.
You have all of the instruments you can play, so a lute, a drum, whatever instrument you can play.
You have that.
Yep.
You have a lamp.
Gotta be able to see.
Which in the book...
Are you enjoying me justifying everything, commenting on every single thing Adam says, Dave?
Is that what you're...
I'm loving.
I love you.
You have leather armor.
Okay, for what I'm feeling naughty.
But you want to be safe.
Yeah, you've got to be safe.
On that topic, you have a vial of perfume.
Of course.
A rapier?
Sorry if I'm going too fast.
No, you're all good.
That's a gun, right?
Is it?
A rapier is like a...
Yeah, it's a...
Like a foil, like a...
Oh, a fencing...
Right.
Yeah.
I only know it from the song Whiskey and the jar,
but that changes the meaning that song.
Oh, really?
I shot him with my rapier.
Yeah, I thought...
What was that, man?
He just shoot him with the sword.
He then produced...
Yeah, something like that.
I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier.
I just thought it was a...
Like, it was a bigger gun or something.
A rapier is kind of like the sword
that the muskety.
tiers used.
Yeah, cool.
I'm with you.
You have sealing wax and writing equipment.
Ah, yes, that kind of wax, not like the road.
Lucky you got the chest.
This is a lot of stuff you're carrying around with you.
You know me.
I don't pack light.
It's crazy.
In the specific, because there's just like a preordained sort of list of equipment.
It's crazy that this one has a chest.
Everyone else gets a backpack.
Yeah, I got a chest.
You got to carry around in the chest.
That's crazy.
And you get a bar of soap.
Aha.
Hi, Jean.
The only one who does, I think.
Yep, and I've got perfume.
So you guys stink and I smell like Mark Jacobs Daisy.
Yeah, you smell great.
Sorry about that brief diversion.
So I'll get into your spells and then we can discuss, Dave, your key points.
Oh.
Which we'll get into an hour.
All right.
So you don't get spells.
But I get key points.
Like a loser.
Both of you have cantrips.
Those are, if you look at the back of the, you have.
spell cards that tell you what spells you have.
The ones that say zero, those are your cantrips.
Cantrips you can cast kind of whenever.
Right.
Many times as you want.
No limit.
One of mine is friends.
Yes.
That's a spell?
Yes.
It makes people be my friend.
It gives you a bonus to making people your friend.
Oh.
You would need a spell to make people be your friend.
Oh, well, that's because of my low charisma.
I gave you a bunch of like, once again, I tried to theme these
on your characters.
So you as a greeting card salesman would obviously need to speak to a lot of people
and would need to influence a lot of people positively.
So I gave you friends.
And as we get into later,
I gave you a spell called Charm Person,
which is a bit more powerful version of friends.
Whereas I have vicious mockery and dancing lights.
Because I'm an entertainer, you see.
Vicious mockery is kind of a,
you know how that ability I was speaking about earlier
where you tell a joke and someone dies?
It's like a weaker version of that.
You tell a joke about a person and it hurts them physically.
They start bleeding.
So you're like conniving, like taking shots.
Now, this might be a lot of pressure, but I do have a home rule where if you tell an actual joke about the person you're casting this spell out and the joke makes me laugh, I let it do double damage.
Okay, great.
Just as a little thing.
Are you an easy laugh?
I am.
Oh, there's a double damage.
The proof is in the pudding.
Yeah, so those are your cantrip.
And cantrips you can't trips you can't trips you can'troups you can't have first level spells.
Yep.
So those are the ones with a one on the back of the cart.
Now, first level spells, you can only cast a certain number of times a day.
Okay.
For Gregory Grub, it is twice a day.
And for Shooting Star, it's three times.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Matt, look, I can sleep three times a day.
a day.
Oh, me too, but not in the game.
And the way that works is it's not three times a card, it's three times in total.
Yeah.
So you, shooting star, would actually not be able to cast all of your first level spells in a day.
Yeah.
You can only cast three.
Yep.
And Gregory Grubb kind of the same thing, but you only get three spells.
But you can only cast two.
You see how it all work.
Gotcha, I think.
I mean, I'm sort of getting some percentage of all of this.
Yeah, for sure.
I feel like I'm drowning.
It's okay.
Drowning in knowledge.
I feel like I'm drowning.
Don't even stress.
This has always been, I've run a lot of new players through this.
It has always been the sort of thing where you learn as you guys.
Totally.
It's a big info dump right now, but it's kind of the sort of thing where like an hour from
now you're going to be like, oh right, this is, I remember this.
Yeah, yeah.
This is like, it's the same feeling as when my dad tried to teach me how to play 500.
You ever played 500, the card game?
It's a great game.
Great game.
Got to get those treats.
It's quite complicated.
Once you get it, you're like, oh man, I'm going to take all you suckers down.
Hang on, what?
The joke is actually in this game.
What?
Crazy.
Crazy.
So, casino, you have what are called key points.
Oh, yes, yes.
Key points are like a type of magic, but they're not as impressive as magic.
They're not as showing.
But key points are way more like functionally useful in a fight.
So you're not going to be able to make sparks fly.
or you're not going to be,
you're never going to fall in love.
No,
you're not,
you're not going to be,
never going to sleep.
You're not going to be able to sleep or anything like that.
You'll never know happiness.
But back to the game.
Your key points allow you to do three different things.
One is Flurry of Blows,
which is like,
yeah,
you know,
if you ever seen like in a movie or a TV show or whatever,
when like someone who's really,
really good at punching, punches so fast, their arms are just a blur.
Yeah.
That is flurry of bullets.
Like E-Honda and Street Fighter.
Yes.
You can do it in Zelda.
I just learned the other day.
Right, Matt, make a reference that you get.
Well, it's sort of like Jackie Chan.
Right.
Fantastic.
Not inaccurate, no.
So I can just go, cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Yeah.
You get like a really quick, well, flurry of blows, as the name suggests.
Love it.
So you attack.
multiple times in a turn, and all of your attacks will have like a slight bonus to hit as well.
So you're more likely to hit and you're doing a little bit more attacks.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, cool.
The second one is patient defense.
Patient defense means that you are, you're dodging around so quickly that enemies have a really hard time hitting you.
Okay.
So if you're under threat from multiple people all at once, it's really good to go with patient defense
and then you're, you can still attack as well, you're just like flying around the battlefield
too quickly for people to hit easily.
That's cool.
And then the last one is step of the wind, which lets you just really move.
If you need to get from A to B really bloody quickly, step of the wind.
Yeah, you fart powered.
Yeah.
It propels you.
Only forwards, though.
Only forwards, yes.
How do you go backwards, Dave?
Try to fart backwards.
There is still gravity and that defies physics.
Is this world in our, is this like somewhere on Earth or is this like in a different fantasy land?
This is, yeah, in like a fantasy land of my creation.
Right.
So every, so all the different D&D games don't happen in one universe.
They're all, everything's a new universe sort of thing.
Everything that I do is in this one universe, this one canon, if you will.
That's pretty cool.
Yes, which you will soon be added.
Do you ever named for the canon?
The world is called Ognot.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where's Ognot come from?
Ognot.
It was a character I played once, the name of a character I played a long time ago.
Wow.
And he had a whole universe named after.
Yeah, well, he...
What an honor.
Which we will not get into in today's game, but he made the universe.
Holy shit.
After himself, yeah.
So would our characters be familiar with him?
You would know the name...
He'd be of the legend.
Oh, you might know the legend, but you would certainly know the name of
the world as Ognaut.
Yes.
But whether or not you know that specific character is neither here nor there.
In any case, the stakes of today's game are going to be significantly smaller than the universe.
No, no.
I'm taking over the universe.
Oh, okay.
Scary to hear.
So you get two key points a day.
Like how they can only cast their spells or some of their spells a certain number of times.
You only get so many key points a day.
Okay, cool.
Make sense?
Yeah.
Otherwise, you are a very decent fighter.
You're probably, no, not probably.
You are the best fighter in this group.
Thank you.
And you will probably want to be putting yourself on the front line whenever possible.
But in a pinch, Jess as the bard can step in as well.
Yeah, I can sing them to death.
Yeah, play the bagpipes.
No one wants to hear that.
They'll clear out.
So does that mean, I don't understand this yet.
Are we like a team?
We're friends working together or?
So I give all of the groups that I play with one of two options.
You can start the game having already known each other and you're already friends.
Or you can kind of just coincidentally be in the same place at the same time and an event transpire that kind of require you to act together.
Right, like a rag tag band.
Yeah, basically.
I love a rag tag band.
Yeah.
See, originally I was leaning towards, well, obviously, would all.
friends, but then you said rag tag.
And I was like, oh, I love a rag tag bunch.
Don't you, Dave?
Yeah, let's go rag tag.
Rag tag.
I'm sold.
But then we will be put together with circumstance.
We will become lifelong friends.
If either of you stab me in the back, I will, in real life, stab you in the back.
You're the one with the bloody dagger, Matt.
That's true.
Do I have any weapons?
Oh, yes, you do.
So monks don't tend to use some of the larger stranger weapons.
You monks tend to like simple weapons.
So you have a quarter staff,
which is just like a stick of wood
that is pretty sturdy and very good for thwacking people.
Donatella style.
Yes.
Both stuff.
Cool, cool.
And you have,
Napoleon dynamite style.
You have darts.
Just little darts.
They don't do a lot of damage,
but they're quick and easy to use.
And it's a fun game to play when you're passing time.
That's right.
Absolutely.
You win money at the pub.
Yes.
And like I said,
Shooting Star,
you have a dagger and a rapier.
Gregory,
Gregory Grubb, you have a dagger, a spear, and a light crossbow, as opposed to a heavy crossbow.
Oh, nice.
That sounds cool.
Yeah.
So, well, these are ones down here.
There's also the Eldridge Blast and the unarmed strike.
They're separate.
Yeah, everyone has an unarmed strike.
The monk's unarmed strike is a lot more powerful than anyone else's.
Right.
It's basically equivalent to using the quarterstaff.
So the quarterstaff or your fist,
are just basically pretty equivalent.
You're very good with both.
It's up to you which one you think you want to use in any scenario.
Would it be fair to say that Casino Miles Graves' fists
have been registered with the Ognot government as weapons of mass destruction?
Oh, absolutely.
There is no worldwide government to register your fists with, unfortunately.
But if there was.
If there was, he might have to, yes.
Would they be insured, do you think, for a million dollars?
I don't think it'd be that sort of a situation.
It'd be more of a situation of you accidentally kill a man and you are incarcerated.
But you need to get home to your daughter and the plane is taken over on the way.
It's more of that sort of situation.
Right.
Yeah.
And you have a daughter.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And I've got a bunny in a box.
A bunny in a box.
Put the bunny back in the bus.
See, I like line from that.
There's two classic ones.
There were two classic bits.
There was bunny in the box.
It doesn't matter now.
So, additionally, you have skills, which are worth mentioning.
Skills are just like a broad range of different topics that you can be good or bad at.
Each of your skills has a, you'll see on your character sheet, a bonus associated with it or sometimes a penalty associated with it.
So some of them are pretty straightforward.
forwards things like animal handling or deception,
those are pretty obvious and self-explanatory.
Things like maybe sleight of hand or acrobatics
could be a little more esoteric.
So a sleight of hand check is pickpocketing, essentially.
So it's picking someone's pocket
or sometimes it can be just deftly using your hands.
So if you need to, like, I don't know,
turn, like manipulate a machine in a specific way, that could be a slead of hand check.
There is, uh, so, arcana, history, nature and religion are your knowledge of that subject.
Right.
Right.
So, Akana is magic, history obvious, nature, obvious and religion.
And plus fours are the top you can get?
Plus four in your stats is the human maximum.
Right.
In your skills, you can go a bit, a bit beyond.
Mm-hmm.
Four's the top I've got.
I've got it for persuasion.
I've got a few five.
Intimidation.
Intimidation, right.
Deception and arcana.
I gave you, for your gritting card thing, I gave you as many of the social skills.
Right, yep.
That's great.
So insight is reading another person or reading another living creature.
So if you want to determine if that dog is going to attack or if that person is telling a porky, that is insight.
animal handling is obviously handling.
So insight to know if the dog will attack,
animal handling to stop it from attacking.
Wow.
Makes sense?
So there's dogs in this world.
I'll pick that up.
Dogs are canonical to this universe.
Yeah.
So acrobatics is back flips, front flips.
Side flips?
Yes, side flips.
Yeah.
Well, it absolutely would be.
Yeah.
Anything that is kind of dexterous.
And then athletics is like lifting something over your head
or throwing a shot put, stuff like that.
And does that come up often?
It surprisingly does.
There's a lot of athletic carnivals in this world.
Yes.
So something that is important to note,
I didn't write it down because I want y'all to decide for yourselves.
You need to determine how much your character weighs
because it is a guaranteed thing.
If you play D&D for long enough,
one of you is going to pick up and try to throw another one of you.
And I want to know now how much you weigh.
Right.
And so is there sort of how big in general or how much would the range for a, what am I, a deep gnome weight?
A deep gnome or a casino, you are a halfling.
So deep gnomes and halflings around 30 pounds.
Yeah.
That's kind of like an average.
And that's about, what's that about half kilos?
That's about, was that at 15, 20 kilos?
Yeah, about that.
Yeah, I'm a top end.
And then, shooting star, you are a.
drow elf. Elves are similar to humans, but a bit lighter. So your average might be around like
100 to 150 pounds thereabouts. Well, I've been working out a lot. So it's all muscle,
obviously. Very lean, very lean elf. Wow. Muscle's heavy, though, isn't it? Yeah, that's right. So how
How much do you, I'm 1.20.
Oh, Max.
I'm telling you, I shouldn't be Max.
I want the opportunity to be thrown a far away.
So I'm going to be...
I want to throw you.
What's sort of like, give me a midweight.
A midweight, well, 30 pounds is about me.
30, all right, I'll take 30 pounds.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to be a light weight.
I'm going to be 20 pounds.
That's fine, yeah.
I can pick up.
I'm about the weight of my dog.
And we've not a big boy.
So there's a spot here on the third page with size.
We put it in there.
Do you need all that stuff?
There's weight.
There would be a lot of.
section that says wait your size is for an elf medium and then for the halfling and
gnome it is small you don't need to write that in though that so a size categories are so
that size thing is what size category you fit into there are I think it goes from
no it's fine fine is like the size of I don't even know it fine is like the size of like a tiny
little fairy.
Like, I don't even know
how big that is.
Smaller than a finger.
About an inch?
Yeah.
Not as tall as a finger.
Then it's diminutive,
which is like twice as long as that.
So maybe the size of a finger.
Then from diminutive,
there's tiny.
Tiny is the size of like a cat.
Yep.
Then it is small,
which is the size of a toddler.
Medium, the size of a human.
Large, the size of twice a human,
like a horse.
then it keeps going up enough and off.
I've always thought of horses is twice human.
Well, horses are twice, a large, long.
Yeah, large long.
It's a whole complicated system.
That's my shoe sauce.
Horse.
Horse.
Yeah, I've had my shoes nailed to my feet.
So for the small characters, the gnome and the, sorry,
it's not like anyone listening heard, but I just to the wrong person.
They know.
They know.
They know.
You are small-sized, which is about the size of a toddler.
Okay.
Right.
Yeah.
And then the elf is about the size of a human.
Sounds about right.
You know, you're my toddler children.
Toddlers aren't humans, obviously, is what I'm hearing from Adam right now.
No, no, no, no, no.
Humans as a race are definitely separate.
Okay.
Your toddlers as a race.
So huge.
But in this game, humans the race is, is that basically humans in Earth world?
Yep.
Why would you pick that?
It seems pretty much.
Why would you pick being what you're just.
Jackson picks human.
Oh, he looks.
loves a human.
Of course he does.
Jackson loves a human fighter.
He's a big fan.
Of course he does.
Evan Monroe Smith had pick human.
He loves human.
He loves humans.
He loves humans.
I'm very familiar with that.
You can't play them in,
so the edition we're playing is fifth edition,
for those of you listening at home.
But in earlier editions,
just letting you know, Matt,
and I'm sorry we didn't play
in one of those earlier editions.
You can play as a monkey.
Oh, wow.
I would have definitely chosen that.
Actually, you can, what type of monkey,
I guess, or chimp is the,
what type of,
Primate would you like to play as is the question.
Oh, that's a tricky one.
Yeah, because you could have played as so many.
I'm so sorry, though.
They're all available.
Technically, every single one is available, yes.
I'd be a chimpanzee.
Yeah, right, bonobo or common?
Common.
Yeah, that makes sense.
They're the fighters.
Yep.
I like to be a little spider monkey just like putting above the, in the canopy.
Yeah, I think they'd be a great size for this world by the sound of it as well.
Agile.
their dexterity would be high.
But sadly, we're not allowed to choose that.
I feel like I'd be...
You said there's sort of pets or animal handling.
Is there pets?
You can't, if you want to, you could probably in this town that you're going to start in.
You could purchase a dog or something.
Oh, my God, Dave, let's get a group dog.
Oh, when do we get to the town?
Oh, wow.
So, speak of the devil.
So you'll get to the town next time on Do Go D&D.
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